#a lot of this is self reflection but I hope this helps anyone else that feels like they can only make and post (clean) art | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

iliveforyouilongforyouvesuvia · 4 months

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not sure if I've already requested this so sorry if I have haha,

but how would the m6 react to a mc with sh scars? if it's not too heavy of a topic for you, if it is, I completely understand that :)

The Arcana HCs: M6 when MC has SH scars

~ not too heavy at all, anon, I'd actually been hoping to write this at some point and your request gave me that excuse! to anyone else who relates a little too much: you're not alone, your pain is valid, and there is hope for you even when it doesn't feel like it - brainrot ~

CW for: references to scarring and self-harm. I can remember points in my life when this would have been triggering for me to read. If this would be triggering for you too, please prioritize your health.

Julian

He noticed early on that you'd get a strange look on your face when he mentioned being comfortable with experiencing pain, and he's been curious about why for some time

You generally found a way to hide them - whether with your clothes or in the low lighting - until after you defeated the Devil, which was when Julian was less distracted enough to notice more details

Like the unusual textures that appeared when your clothes shifted as you moved around your daily tasks, and how hellbent you seemed on immediately adjusting them

He waits to approach the subject until he knows you're both in a calm headspace, after the day is done as the two of you lounge in front of the fire with your dinner

He wants to hear your side of things, but the first thing he's going to ask is to let him look at them. He's a doctor, he loves you, and he wants to know the extent of the damage and how he can help your healing

Might cry a little, but hides it and refuses to make it about himself by pulling you into the biggest hug instead

It throws him into some serious self reflection, which leads to lots of late-night talks about self-destructive habits and how you two can best support each other in a way that's loving and not enabling

Will get a matching tattoo if you choose to cover them that way

Asra

The first time they saw them was right after your resurrection, and their heart sank right down into their feet

Here he felt like he'd just saved you, only to find that you'd not only woken up in a miserable state, but that the life you'd had before had been far more painful for you than he had been aware of

Which is when they became determined to give you such a good life and so much platonic love and support that the scars on your body would truly belong to a past life

The first time you asked him about why you had them, he said they were leftover from an old battle that you had fought very bravely. Going into any more detail only made your headaches worse

They did watch your behavior and mood closely, though, in case you started to fight that battle again. They never judged you for them or offered to smooth them over

After you defeated the Devil together, he told you the truth about them and what they meant, even though he didn't know the details of why you had them

It was also their chance to give you an apology for not noticing before you died, when they were still your friend and cared about you. They know it's not their fault, but the guilt was still there

He kisses them every morning and night

Nadia

She's heard vague stories from her family members about people who were in so much pain that they would self harm, but she'd never seen such a strong example in person

Which is why she initially assumed they were the result of some fierce battle or tragedy, and planned to ask you later

She first noticed them when she was fitting you for a new outfit, and saw how hesitant you were to let her look at them. Everything she's made for you since covers them completely

She finally asks about them several months into your relationship, expecting you to either not remember or to hear a moving story of conquering some fierce enemy or fighting for a loved one

To say that she doesn't expect your answer is an understatement. It surprises her so much that her only response is "oh," in an unusually small voice, before moving on to the next topic

She's able to process it the next time she's alone, when she's struck both by her awe at your capacity to fight something so dark and by her grief that you've been doing it without her all this time

Clears her next evening to have a private dinner with you, first so she can apologize for her initial response and second so she can invite you to tell her more about it and offer her support

Likes to dress you herself so you know you're not alone or unseen

Muriel

Knew exactly what they were as soon as he saw them, which was less than half a day into your travels South with Morga

And promptly refused to talk about it because he can relate to those dark impulses more than he'd like to and because he didn't see it as being any of his business. But he does start to watch you

He watches for any sign of pain, he watches how you fix your clothes, he watches how your gaze falls on any sharp object, because even if it isn't his business he cares more than he expects

He becomes less and less discreet about how closely he's observing you until you finally notice it one evening, how the firelight falls on your scars and how his eyes fixate on them

At this point the reciprocated staring is so awkward that he'll do anything to fix the tension, so he shuffles and mumbles something along the lines of "You can talk about it if you want to. I don't mind."

So you do, and he gets hit square in the chest with how much he's come to care about you over the course of the trip

He's especially frustrated because he empathizes so deeply, and since he doesn't know how to fix himself, he's worried he'll only mess you up further

In the end, he learns to apply the kindness he feels towards you to himself as well, and sees your scars as valid as he sees his own

Portia

She's still very embarrassed (and slightly ashamed) for how things went the first time she saw them

She'd noticed something peeking out from your clothes, and how you seemed focused on covering them, and falsely assumed that it was some cool magical tattoo

Which only piqued her curiosity. This has to be juicy, and she's determined to get a closer look. Which is why, as soon as you'd become friends, she took her first chance to snatch a look

And then froze. And then dropped you, and then burst into tears. How could this happen, MC? Why would you do this to yourself? It looks like it must have hurt so much -

It's unfortunate but you're going to have to comfort her first while she works her way through the five stages of grief. She loves you, and she's heartbroken and confused about why this would happen

She needs time to process how she feels about it before she can listen to you without having a meltdown. Her normal response to self-destruction is a fist to the gut (Ilya) and that wouldn't do

Ends up following your cues when it comes to how she talks to you about it. If it's in the past, it's in the past. If it's a current struggle, then she's your partner. She'll be right next to you

She does think your fighting spirit makes you badass, though

Lucio

He's not great at noticing details unless they directly correspond to physical strengths and weaknesses. Any kind of scarring from a wound is (from his experience) a totally normal thing to see

When he starts to notice how you cover yours or get weird about them being touched, he asks about it right away

You've got such cool scars, MC, why are you hiding them? You should show them off so everyone knows how battle-tested you are! Here, he'll show his off too! *cue him stripping off his shirt*

It's a little difficult to know how best to respond to this. You're each other's life partners by now, he should probably know the truth, but you don't know how to burst his bubble

You do end up telling him later, once you're settling into your inn for the night, and watching the realization and hurt dawn across his face is anything but easy

MC, why? You deserve the best, you are the best, you're his best, you're telling him that you treated someone like yourself this poorly when you were showing him so much forgiveness?

He's not trying to guilt you at all, but it comes close to having that effect. The only thing he can think to do is hug you really really tight and hope it convinces you that you deserve better

Still refers to them as your battle scars, because to him they are

#ask arcana brainrot #the arcana #the arcana headcanons #the arcana hc #the arcana game #asra the arcana #julian the arcana #nadia the arcana #muriel the arcana #portia the arcana #lucio the arcana #asra alnazar #julian devorak #nadia satrinava #muriel of the kokhuri #portia devorak #lucio morgasson

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ellipsiseffervescent · 7 months

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I am once again going to talk too much about Rebellion

and how people don’t understand Homura. Here I would like to address the reasons why people call Homura evil/the antagonist, which is usually their reason for disliking Rebellion. My blog has basically morphed into an obsessive discussion on why that movie is my favorite and elevates the story, so I’ve covered a lot of these topics before, but I hope to make things more comprehensive here.

I’ve seen some people call Homura “corrupted” by the part of her that is a witch. Two thoughts on that:

Rebellion goes out of its way to show you that witches are not inherently evil. They have experienced serious pain and are spreading that pain before Madoka’s sacrifice. However, if this meant that witches were inherently evil, then why are Sayaka and Nagisa not? They are still witches- that’s why their witch forms are still a part of them.

Also, in Rebellion, Sayaka warns Madoka’s essence to not fear Homura, as “she’s the one who’s most hurt”.

I think that people misunderstand the theme of what a witch is overall. A witch is an inevitable reality of magical girls because being a girl in a patriarchal/Kyubey system is CRUSHING. The transformation into a witch is a coming-of-age step into womanhood. It comes from the culmination of mistreatments and systemic oppression girls inevitably become overwhelmed by. This isn’t to say that all women are forever overwhelmed, but it is an unpleasant reality that most women become awoken to. Think of the resolution of the Barbie movie, for instance, where (BARBIE SPOILERS) the characters need to “wake up” the others to the suffocating reality of living in a patriarchy. Same principle, honestly.

I also think that people sometimes interpret the Christian imagery in a stereotypical “good vs evil” way than looking at the situation, especially when it comes to Homura’s demon label and Madoka’s sacrifice.

I’ve talked about this a lot so I won’t go into too much detail, but I believe that the series is going out of its way to create its themes around the dark reality of the self-sacrificing nature of girls. For a brief recap:

Making wishes for someone else is considered taboo

Madoka mattered as a girl. Throughout all iterations of pmmm and its sequels, Madoka laments on the tragedy of magical girls vanishing from the world without anyone knowing and says in Rebellion that she would never want to go anywhere where she couldn’t be around her friends and family. Her mom had plans for them when Madoka grew up, her brother remembers her, and it drives Homura insane that she’s the only person who remembers the other timeline. Madoka was always worried that she wasn’t good enough at anything to have a place in the world and I truly have a hard time believing that this series is saying that young girls who don’t feel they have value anywhere else are best served to sacrifice themselves into oblivion. That’s basically been the history of women, forever.

Homura calls herself a demon because, “[Madoka] was sacred as a god and I couldn’t help but pull her from heaven and undermine her.” Throughout the Wraith Cycle, Homura commits herself to honoring Madoka’s sacrifice and new world order, so the phrase “and I couldn’t help but pull her from heaven undermine her” is, I think, more of a reflection of her self-loathing for going against Madoka’s wish and less of a true admission of evil, because I don’t think that Madoka’s erasure from the world was ever an okay thing. I think people get too hung up on “demon-bad” without thinking of the nuances of the imagery. I don’t believe that Madoka’s godhood is inherently good, and I don’t believe Homura’s demonhood is inherently bad. I think that Madoka’s godhood is more an alignment with self-sacrifice, and Homura’s demonhood is an alignment with desire, and I think that too much of either is a bad thing. It’s why they both needed to come together to eviscerate the Kyubeys.

I think that the label of “demon” makes Homura irredeemable to people and I think that people are deeply unforgiving of the not so pretty things that make us human. I’ve seen that a lot of what I assume are younger users are completely unforgiving to girl characters who go through things and make mistakes. I’m not even talking about Azula defenders (though I think there is a nuanced conversation there) but the Catra-type haters. As others have pointed out, ya’ll about women’s wrongs until a girl suffers a time loop to try to save the love of her life (who, lest we forget, begs Homura to shoot her in one timeline) and her friends and almost loses her mind by being the only person to remember the love of her life in the timeline that ya’ll think was the good one. I even hesitate to call it “toxic yuri” until the last movie comes out. Now, this isn’t to say that Homura has made no mistakes. I think the fact that her rewriting of the world to include the Kyubeys is going to be a BIG mistake on her part, and she did pull the identity of Madoka away from the Law of the Cycle against her wishes. But I think that to take everything Homura has done to try to save Madoka and even give Madoka the power to become the Law of the Cycle and say that she is irredeemable or toxic because she is traumatized…. It’s heartbreaking to me.

Moreover, this perception of Homura as irredeemable flies in the face of all this Christian imagery. Throughout the entirety of Rebellion’s ending (and as you’ll see further down) Madoka assures Homura that she loves her no matter what, that she is always there for her. Madoka in her fullness can see in intimate detail what Homura endured for her- literal YEARS of suffering yet never giving up- do you really think Goddess Madoka can’t and shouldn’t forgive Homura? Are the “good” guys in Christianity not all about forgiveness?

And finally, the real reason I made this long ass post: Homura and Rue from Princess Tutu are parallels. For those who don’t know: in Princess Tutu, the character Rue transforms into an “evil” persona- Princess Kraehe, daughter of the Crow. While Rue is convinced that she is now an agent of evil, the main character Ahiru/Duck insists that she is not. Also important to note is Rue may not rewrite the universe, but objectively commits more women’s wrongs than Homura. She rips the shards of emotion from her lover’s breast and tries to sacrifice innocent people’s hearts to her father, but the story does not paint her as condemned or irredeemable. She’s been lied to, groomed, and traumatized. She’s not an evil person, she’s a girl trying to navigate horrible circumstances, like Homura. Rebellion creates these parallels because Homura is forgivable and it wants you to know that.

So anyway, first parallel is the outfit. Demon Homura is SOOOOO inspired by Kraehe it HURTS:

And finally, Rebellion went so hard to reference this scene:

PLEASE put on sound they translate it differently but here she says "homura chan is homura chan"

so yeah if you stuck around thanks! love u muah

#madoka magica #homura akemi #puella magi madoka magica #pmmm homura #pmmm #princess tutu #princess kraehe #Princess Tutu spoilers #support womens wrongs #but actually support them #madoka kaname #madoka magica rebellion #walpurgisnacht rising #walpurgis no kaiten

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amhrosina · 1 year

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Your Pretty Heart (Billy Russo x f!Reader)

A/N: Anyone else widely obsessed with Pedro Pascal and The Last of Us right now? Being back in my Pedro era feels like getting home after a long ass trip. Should I write for some of Pedro's characters?? SOS! Also, I hit 800 followers today??? Like what??? Thank you to everyone who supports me and this account!!

Request: ex’s to lovers with Billy Russo or Matt Murdock. Where Frank and Karen “help” Billy/Matt get their ass together to get back with Reader. Because come on their clearly still in lovee.

Word Count: 3.7k

Summary: When you and Billy break up, Karen takes it upon herself to get you back together. Her plan comes to a head one night at Josie’s, and you and Billy must face the consequences of loving and leaving one another.

(Warnings: so much angst, cursing, Billy is a soft!boy at heart, soft!Billy, descriptions of smut (but like romantic descriptions, not graphic ones??), I think that’s it, it’s literally just really sad until the end lol)

“You look great.” Your date smiled, but he wasn’t looking at your face. Instead, for the third time in less than a minute, his eyes trailed the sloping curve of your cleavage as it disappeared into your dress. You shrugged his gaze off, hoping there was at least something interesting about him to keep you entertained for the evening. Something could be there. Deep, deep, down, but there, nonetheless.

“So, Brad, what do you do for work? When Karen set this up, she didn’t tell me much about you.”

“I’m an accountant.”

Brad nodded his head along with yours, an awkward bob as you waited for him to return the question. He didn’t, instead choosing to fix his gaze on the jazz singer across the restaurant. Zero for two, Brad.

“Do you, uh, have any hobbies?” You tried again to break the conversation dam, but Brad’s attention was so far away from the table you were sharing that he barely glanced at you when he responded.

“I jog sometimes.”

“Oh!” You lurched forward, desperate to grab onto anything that might make this date less awkward. “I like to jog, too. I’ll listen to books when I do it to pass the time. Do you read at all?”

Brad’s eyes flicked to yours, then back to the jazz singer. Uninterested, bored, and inconvenienced. That’s what his glance told you.

“People who need books or music when they run aren’t capable of self-reflection. It’s how you grow as a human being, you know? You should try it.”

You blinked. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? A pompous, arrogant, prick seemed like the winning description, and you chuckled as you looped your purse handle over your shoulder.

“Well, Brad.” You stood from your seat, drawing his attention away from the band. “Congratulations. You win. I think this is quite possibly the worst date I’ve ever been on, and that’s saying a lot.”

You didn’t deem him with an explanation as you exited the restaurant, but a vivid memory flashed in your mind of Billy standing you up on your anniversary last year. Yeah, that date was terrible, but at least Billy hadn’t insulted you after standing you up. He’d spent weeks apologizing with flowers, jewelry, and even cutting down on his time at Anvil so he could spend more time with you, but that date would always stick out in your mind as the beginning of the end.

You shook the thoughts from your head, digging through your purse to find your cellphone. Karen was going to explain where the fuck she met this guy, and why she thought setting him up with you would be a good idea. She picked up on the second ring.

“Karen.” You tapped your foot on the sidewalk. “What the fuck?”

“Hey! How was the date?”

Wherever Karen was, it was loud. You could barely understand her through the speaker, muffled by music and what sounded like a crowd of people in the background.

“The date was so bad.” You almost whined. Almost stomped your foot at how unfair the dating world had become. Almost thought about how much easier it was when you were with Billy. “Where did you even meet this guy?”

“At work. Was he an asshole?” She sounded apologetic, but the volume at which she had to scream her question into the phone made the entire interaction feel a little less impactful.

“Grade-A Asshole.” You groaned. “Where are you?”

“I’m at Josie’s, but-”

“Great. I’m on my way.”

You hung up the phone before she could respond and hailed a taxi. You felt a little guilty for barging in on her evening. Karen was a good friend, one that you’d clung to since you and Billy had gone your separate ways, and she deserved a night out without your moping. But the nagging feeling rolling around in the pit of your stomach told you exactly the reason you had to go to Josie’s. If you didn’t go hang out with Karen, you’d end up calling Billy, and the last thing you wanted to do was let him see you after a shitty date. You climbed into the taxi and hoped you could drink away the memories of tonight with Karen once you arrived at Josie’s.

Billy took a hefty sip of his beer as he eavesdropped on Karen’s phone conversation. Technically, it wasn’t eavesdropping if Karen had whacked him on the arm the second her phone started ringing, but it made Billy uncomfortable anyways. What they’d planned felt too much like a trick, and he didn’t want to take advantage of the situation.

“She’s on her way.” Karen grinned, raising her beer in the air to clink bottles with him.

Billy fiddled with the bottle in his hand, unsure if there was anything to be ‘cheersing’ to.

“C’mon, Bill,” Frank grunted, meeting Karen’s still outstretched arm, “It worked. She’s on her way. Now, all you have to do is be a lesser asshole than her date.”

“Don’t you think she’ll be furious when she finds out her entire evening was construed by her ex-boyfriend and best friends? She doesn’t even want to see me.”

“Trust me, Billy,” Karen angled her head for emphasis, “She does. She just won’t admit it.”

“How do you know, though?”

“I see it on her face, and hear it in her voice, and she’s still sleeping on my couch. And you know what that tells me?”

Billy rolled his eyes. “What does that tell you, Karen?”

Karen’s eyes twinkled with mischief. “That she’s not looking for another apartment. That she still has hope that she’ll be able to go home, to your apartment.”

Billy shook his head. “The market is insane. Maybe she just can’t find an affordable one.”

“I saw three listed in the paper this morning. She’s not looking, Billy. She misses you.”

Billy groaned, dragging his hands over his face. This entire situation was completely and totally fucked, and it was completely and totally his fault. He’d always been warned that his ambition would get the best of him. You’d slipped through his fingers so quickly that he got whiplash when he thought about the end of the relationship. It was like you were there one day and gone the next, and he had no idea how he ended up alone, stranded in his kitchen in the middle of the night because the idea of going to bed without you hurt too much.

“What if it’s too late? What if I can’t fix it?”

“All you can do is try, Bill.” Frank shrugged.

“She loves you.” Karen spoke firmly, tapping her finger on the table, “And you love her. But she needs to know that. You have to show her that you love her.”

“How? I thought I was doing that before.” Billy let out a disgruntled breath and cleared his throat.

“Your priorities need to change. She deserves better than last-minute cancellations and rescheduled dates. You’re your own boss, Billy. You make the rules, and no matter how much money you spend on her, or how many gifts you buy her, she’s always going to remember the times that you didn’t show up.”

Billy nodded. Karen was right, as usual. There’d been a significant change in the amount of time Billy was spending at Anvil, sometimes returning home early in the morning, only to change suits and leave again. It wasn’t your fault – it never was – but Billy couldn’t help himself from falling back into his old patterns. When shit got too real, he retreated, and it ended up costing him the most important thing in his life.

Tonight was his chance to fix everything – to bring you home, to remind you that he adored you, to show you that his life was falling apart without you in it. All he had to do was get you to listen, and he was sure everything else would fall into place.

You took three steps into the bar before swiveling around and marching out in a dramatic fashion. Cursing Karen for conveniently forgetting to mention that Billy was with her, you tried not to stomp down the sidewalk that led to Karen’s apartment. If you had an apartment of your own, you’d surely be stomping your way there instead.

You didn’t make it far before you heard your name being called behind you. Two distinct voices trailed you, but you were more focused on the lack of the third. Had he stayed behind at the bar? You swung around, almost slamming into Frank’s chest. Karen was a few steps behind him, and behind her, stood beautiful and broken Billy, hands in his pants pockets.

“What?” You screeched, eyes flickering between the group.

“I just wanted to tell you thaaaat,” Karen’s eyes twinkled, and you should’ve known that she was about to make your night go from bad to worse, “I’m going back to my apartment with my boyfriend, who is going to do very loud things to me for hours. If I were you, I’d steer clear of the whole block tonight.”

You rolled your eyes and looked at Frank, whose innocent expression gave away Karen’s plan faster than you could piece it together. Clearly, this coup had been planned, and they were leaving you with no option but to spend time with Billy.

“Is that so?” You narrowed your eyes at her, hoping she could read every nasty thought you’d ever had about her in your gaze.

“Yep!” She hooked an arm through Frank’s and tugged him down the sidewalk. “See you tomorrow!”

You watched them until they turned a corner, and you could no longer see them. When you turned to face Billy again, he had inched closer to you, standing a heady meter away with his hands still in his pockets.

“Did you plan this?”

The anger in your voice echoed across the concrete, slamming into Billy. He grasped his chest as if you’d shot him in the heart.

“No. I didn’t even know there was a plan until I showed up at Josie’s earlier.”

You hesitated to believe him, but something in the way he was looking at you told you to trust him. You looked him up and down, focusing on the way he looked worse than you’d ever seen him. For a brief second, you felt triumph over it. He deserved this after everything he did to you. He deserved to feel like shit. The triumph faded faster than it came, and an overwhelming sadness replaced the ire thoughts you were having about him.

There were bags under his eyes, and you could tell he hadn’t been sleeping well. He never did when he couldn’t sleep with you. The facial hair that he usually kept so neat and maintained had grown beyond his usual boundaries, and the fact that he kept subconsciously scratching at it told you he didn’t like it. You tried not to let it get to you. You probably looked like shit, too.

“How’ve you been?” His focus remained wholly on you. You rubbed the back of your neck to try and shake off his stare.

“We don’t have to do this, Bil.” You looked at the ground, focusing on the crack in the concrete that crawled its way across the sidewalk, drawing a line inbetween you and Billy. You couldn’t decide if that was fitting, or incredibly sad. Maybe it was both.

“We’re not doing anything.” He shook his head innocently.

“You know what I mea-”

“Come home.”

There was a pregnant pause in the conversation as the two of you eyed each other.

“Billy, I-”

“Just for tonight. Until Karen’s apartment is...safe again.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, searching for an ulterior motive. And of course, there was an ulterior motive. You couldn’t blame him for it, because you knew if the roles were reversed, you’d be doing the same thing.

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” You shook your head, more towards yourself than at him.

“Why not?” He cocked his head to the side.

“You know why.”

He nodded but shrugged his shoulders anyways.

“I’m not going to leave you out here with nowhere to go. It’s either the apartment, or we spend the next few hours in awkward silence at a diner.”

The apartment. Not ‘my’ apartment. He didn’t consider it his when you weren’t there to claim the other half of it. You couldn’t lie to yourself. You wanted so badly to go with him, to see the home that you’d built with him. You wanted so badly to see how he’d faired over the last month without you. It was with all this in mind, and not how much you missed him, that had you nodding, agreeing to go home. Just for a visit, you repeated in your mind, just for a visit.

When you stepped into what was once the living room you shared with Billy, you were struck with an overwhelming sense of familiarity. There was nothing different about it, except that the bookshelf was a little less stuffed than usual. You’d grabbed your favorites on your way out, unable to part with them, even just for a little bit.

“Can I get you some wine?” Billy asked, already heading toward the kitchen to pour himself a glass. You nodded, shrugging your jacket off and trying to ignore the strangeness of being treated like a guest in the home that you’d lived in for years.

When Billy returned with two particularly full glasses, you plopped down on the couch. You didn’t know how to act, or what to say, or who to be when you were around him anymore and falling back into old habits seemed like a grand way to get your feelings hurt again.

“You didn’t answer my question earlier.” Billy took a swig from his glass, sitting on the armchair across from the couch. You silently thanked the universe that he had put distance between the two of you. The closer he was, the less clearly you could think.

“Which one?”

“How’ve you been?”

“Oh.” You took a sip, only because it gave you something to do with your hands. “I’ve been alright.”

He smiled, but the corners of his mouth didn’t reach his eyes. Anyone who looked at you longer than two seconds could see that you’re clearly not doing alright, but you’d grown comfortable living in denial, and you weren’t going to admit how not alright you were.

“Heard your date didn’t go well.”

You scoffed. Maybe it was the wine, or the way he looked smug about the fact that you’d had a shitty date, but you couldn’t help what came out of your mouth next.

“Fuck you, Billy. It’s none of your business.”

Billy looked startled by your outburst. You gulped down another mouthful of wine before rubbing your hand down your face.

“I’m sorry.” You shook your head. “I don’t know where that came from.”

“It’s okay. I probably deserve it.” He shrugged, leaning back in his seat.

“What happened to us?” You asked, gazing at the ceiling.

“You tell me, sunflower. You’re the one that left.”

Your heart ached at the nickname. It wasn’t fair that he used it, especially when you were clearly in a vulnerable mood, but you cherished it anyways.

“You left first.”

It was barely a whisper, said so quietly that you weren’t quite sure he had heard you. If the palpable tension that followed wasn’t indicative of his acknowledgment, the deep sigh that erupted from his chest soon after was indication enough. He stayed quiet, swirling the remaining wine in his glass around in small circles.

You stared at him, unflinching in your assessment of his body language. He didn’t look as miserable as you felt, and a spark of anger ignited in your belly because of it.

“Did you ever really love me, Bil?” You barked. It was bait, and both of you knew it. You’d never questioned his love for you, and he knew you were trying to get a rise out of him, but he couldn’t help stepping up to the plate and taking the bait.

“What kind of fucking question is that?” He watched you closely. You tried not to let your triumph show on your face. “Of course, I love you.”

He stood from his seat and rested his hands on his hips, willing you to do the same. Meet him where he stood, he dared, show him how much you still care. You were nothing if not a daredevil. You joined him in the middle of the room, pressing your index finger into his chest.

“Well then, what the fuck happened?”

“You. Tell. Me.” He gritted from between clenched teeth.

Billy wasn’t being fair to you, and he knew it. You were asking a valid question, and he was cowering behind the anger and frustration in the room.

“I can’t do this again, Bil.” You turned, reaching for your purse. A heavy tug on your elbow had you crashing into Billy’s chest, where he enveloped his arms around you and pulled you into a crushing hold.

“You’re not leaving, are you?”

There was a softness in his voice that tugged at your heartstrings. For a moment, you forgot you were speaking to a grown man and not an orphaned little boy. You blew a long breath out before shaking your head. He rested his forehead against your shoulder.

“No, Bil. I’m not leaving.”

“I always knew I’d end up breaking your pretty heart.” His voice was muffled by your shoulder, but you didn’t miss the slight crack in his words. “I knew I’d fuck it up eventually.”

“I don’t understand what happened. Everything was fine, and then it wasn’t.” You blinked away the tears that had built up on your waterline.

“I know, baby. I’m so sorry.”

You cupped his face as he dropped to his knees in front of you. His eyes, now red-rimmed and glassy, pleaded with you, and you couldn’t stop yourself from lowering your body next to his.

“What’s going on?” You asked him, eyes flickering between his fast-blinking eyelids and rapidly shaking hands.

“I was afraid.” He cleared his throat. “Am. I am afraid.”

“Of what? Where is this coming from?” You gaped. You knew Billy struggled with commitment more than most – it had taken him almost a year of serious dating before he could tell you he loved you – but you thought he had moved past that.

“Tom’s getting married.”

Your brow furrowed. “What does Tom have to do with us?”

“Tom’s getting married, and all I can think about is how I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to give that to you, and how you deserve someone who can give you everything you want and more.”

You let his words sink into your chest, dissecting every interaction you’d had with him leading up to your breakup. It had been a slow descent, and when it finally became too much, you’d left with no clue how you ended up alone and sleeping on Karen’s couch every night.

“Billy,” You shuttered, shaking your head as tears began to travel down your cheeks, “I never said I wanted any of that.”

“It’s what you deserve.”

“But it’s not what I want. Why couldn’t you see that I was happy with the way things were?”

“I was terrified that you’d leave me. And then I became a shit boyfriend, and you really did leave me, and it was the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.”

You wiped the tears from under your eyes and sniffled. “You weren’t always a shit boyfriend.”

Billy snorted, letting a small smile cross his face as he tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear.

“Can you ever forgive me, sunflower?”

You considered his question. If you were being completely honest, you’d forgiven him as soon as you saw his pretty, brown eyes across the bar earlier, so sad and searching for you.

“Can you promise that you’ll tell me when you’re feeling like this again, instead of shutting me out?” You cupped his cheek, eyes flicking down to his lips and then back up to his eyes.

“I can promise that I’ll try.” He swallowed, searching your expression. “Is that enough?”

You lurched forward, pressing your lips to his. The kiss tasted of red wine and salt, and you were suddenly grateful that you’d slumped to the floor earlier instead of waiting until now, when your knees were weak and shaking with anticipation.

“I love you.” Billy mumbled inbetween kisses.

“Show me.” You responded, opening yourself to him for the first time in over a month.

He took you right there on the living room floor, a flurry of intertwined limbs, swollen lips, and skin brushing skin. His lips only left yours long enough to whisper praises against your neck before returning to yours in a bruising kiss. When you came apart underneath him, you couldn’t stop the tears from forming, but he didn’t mind. He kissed the tears away, apologies in their own right, as he continued showing you how much he loved you.

Later on, after hours of reconciliation and apologies, you collapsed next to Billy on the couch. You’d lost your clothes a long time ago, only covered with the throw blanket you’d purchased the year before on a whim, and you watched as he sighed in quiet contemplation.

“We should tell Karen and Frank that their plan worked.” You rested your head on his shoulder. He smiled, pulling you into his chest.

“Let them figure it out on their own. They’ll come around at some point tomorrow when you still haven’t gone back.”

He was right. The next morning, when Karen and Frank knocked on the door, you and Billy were still cuddled together on the couch, so worn out from the night before that you hadn’t been able to muster up the energy to move to the bedroom. You took one glance at Billy before you were on him again, uncaring that your friends were waiting. That’s fine, you thought, let them wait. Let them wait.

Tag List:

@alexxavicry @hallecarey1 @km-ffluv @chiaraxtargaryen @trulylavandedarling @D0wnbad @deliciousfestsalad @lilyevans1 @imagineadream @22carolina08 @definitelynotsugar @casualchaoticdevil @peachy-flxwr @nashja @xshewayout @purple-amaranthe @raajali3 @emiemiemiii @messymissy @mossexe @fictional-hooman @oeuryale @violet-19999 @quackson03 @husherstan @dumb-fawkin-bitch @sweetserendipity65 @americaarse @lazyxsquirrel @anastasianeedstoread @mxxnligxt

877 notes · View notes

mazeinthemiroh · 11 months

Note

Oooh, idk why I didn't realize this before, but you also write for txt!!! Do you have any thoughts on how txt realizes they're in love with you??

-✈️

txt when they realise they're in love

genre: headcanons; romance, fluff

warnings: none

please like and reblog if you enjoy <3

soobin

when he no longer feels awkward around you.

it takes a lot for soobin to settle down with people

the transition from crush to something more has been a bit of a long process

soobin has had to reflect and figure his feelings out on his own which can take time. but when he finally realises and understands his feelings are real for you, a relief takes over him

he feels comfortable around you. he relaxes instead of tenses up. he's not as shy as he was before and looks forward to your visits

he finds your presence warm and welcoming. there are no awkward silences or miscommunications. just comfort and ease, which is something he strives for in his life.

yeonjun

when he can't remember his life without you.

you are so very important to him that you have become his favourite person. his top priority

he spends every minute of every day thinking about you in some capacity. not in an obsessive way. in a gentle way - "oh y/n would like this cafe" or "i wonder what y/n is doing right now, i hope they're okay because i know they were tired before..." stuff like that

he's more thoughtful than he lets on. he loves spending time with you, even the precious spare time that he doesn't get a lot of

and that's how he knew he was falling for you

because he wouldn't give up his free time with just anybody

and you weren't just anybody. you were the one.

beomgyu

when he feels like he's shared his soul with you.

beomgyu likes to joke around but in more personal relationships he craves deepness and intimacy.

he's probably the quickest out of the other members to realise he's in love because i see him as being in tune with his own thoughts and feelings.

he lives for the moments when your both lying on the living room floor together, staring at the ceiling, talking about life and dreams and everything in between

times like these he feels so incredibly in love.

because it feels like an exchange of souls.

vulnerable moments that he isn't used to... he gets emotional when reflecting back on them because they are so precious to him.

because of this, he just wants to give you his whole heart.

taehyun

when he finds himself caring more for you than anyone else.

not that he is neglectful of his friends or anything. he's still very much a balanced human being.

but he is finding himself to be more motivated with love and affection purely by his feelings for you.

in other words, you've helped him become a more healthier version of himself.

the way he treats others has improved dramatically. he's looking out for them more actively and is more observational instead of staying in his thoughts.

and he takes care of himself better too, making sure to eat properly and stay hydrated.

all of this self-improvement stuff all comes down to his lovey-dovey feelings for you. he doesn't know what to do with all this love he now has so he starts expressing in ways he hasn't down before.

hueningkai

when he feels absolutely accepted.

he feels so comfortable being himself around you, not feeling the need to hold himself back as he does with other people

there are only very few people who really get him. he's unique and a precious boy that should be cherished, and some people don't appreciate him the way you do.

that's why he's so, so grateful that he has met you. it genuinely feels like a fairytale to him, how this all happened. because he often questions why you hang out with him and why you love spending time with him so much.

at one point, he guards his heart, becoming distant because he feels that it's all too good to be true.

but he's able to see that you love him just as much as he loves you. and life could never be more sweeter to him than now.

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genericpuff · 3 months

Note

I'm not sure if you've answered this question before but what were some of the things that made you interested in Lore Olympus in the past and at what point did you lose interest?

I adored the art in the beginning, and just like, the really warm-feeling romance that just had me feeling so giddy reading it. There were some red flags in the beginning like the age gap, but I kinda fell for the same mindset of "well they're gods so what does it matter" (obviously I can't in good faith use that argument anymore because if the age gap didn't matter then it either wouldn't exist or wouldn't be brought up in the first place lmao but it took me a while to realize that).

Now, to be fair, LO was also one of my first introductions to webtoons as a format, prior to that I had read mostly manga and left-to-right indie webcomics (i.e. comics that were hosted on their own site) and I was still in the early years of my own development as a writer and artist (I still feel like I'm early in that development tbh) so of course there were undoubtedly a lot of obvious flaws that went over my head (and I was younger and inexperienced so I wasn't as critical of what media I was watching / reading as I am now) but that's been half the fun of catching them now - it's given me a lot more perspective and helped me hone my own skills in my writing by analyzing what's wrong with LO and brainstorming on how those problems can be avoided.

But then there was the Act of Wrath plotline and I was completely sold on it being gold. Anyone who's read my original work knows how much of a SUCKER I am for "dark alter ego" plotlines, I eat that shit up like junk food. But what I like about the dark alter ego tropes is when they're used to explore the subconscious, question one's morals and true identity, etc. That was what I was hoping for and expecting with the AoW plotline in LO - that her "dark self" was gonna be a reflection of how she felt "held back" by her circumstances in the Mortal Realm, and her wrath being something she could use for retribution (in a "do no harm but take no shit" kinda way). Especially with how naive and innocent she was in the beginning, I loved the idea of her slowly coming to terms with her "darker" side and learning not to suppress her emotions until they had nowhere else to go and exploded (which was how I interpreted the AoW).

So when it didn't do that, or even explore an ounce of nuance regarding her relationship with her wrath, I was very disappointed to say the least. When Eris was revealed to be the one who "blessed" her with wrath, that was when the rose colored glasses started to fall off and I realized "wait, does Rachel not have an actual plan for this whole Kore vs. Persephone thing???" And now her wrath is literally just there to... give her the power to bully people?? It just feels so disheartening to see such potential squandered.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not gonna chastise a story if it doesn't go exactly where I want it to go, there would be no fun in that anyways (and that's what fanfiction is for lmao). But when a story is leaving very interesting but connectable breadcrumbs that are VERY clearly leading you somewhere and then just... doesn't, that's when it's disappointing and unsatisfying. LO feels like a "creator vs. the reader" story in the worst way possible, where it's constantly leaving breadcrumbs, getting pissed when the audience "figures it out", so then it overcorrects and tries to "subvert" itself to keep the readers "on their toes"... but the problem is that all it really does is punish the readers for paying attention and investing themselves in the story by giving them a worse story. It's like Rachel's getting mad at people for figuring out a story that she's writing and hinting towards.

And this has been going on for YEARS now, it's like a Shepard tone where it sounds like it keeps getting higher and higher in pitch but then doesn't actually resolve so your brain is just scrambling trying to figure out what in the world it could be "building up to".

youtube

There's nothing. It's not building up to anything. It's just constantly putting down new plot threads that are slightly altered versions of previous plot threads and expecting you to keep following along while it makes a mess of itself. It feels like you're going somewhere but you're actually still just running in place. It's just Rachel never learning how to progress past the middle school writing level of "and then this happened and then this happened and then this happened". Not only is it disorganized writing, but it's just... it's so boring. Nothing's exciting or interesting anymore when it keeps distracting itself with shiny new plotlines and characters that never get resolved.

It's like when you were a kid and thought "man , when I grow up, I'm gonna eat nothing but chocolate cake and ice cream every day forever!" and then you get older and you realize you were being silly because eating nothing but chocolate cake and ice cream every day 1.) isn't good for you and doesn't feel good, and 2.) the appeal and novelty of it wears off if you can have it any time you want, it doesn't feel as special anymore as it did when you were a kid and having those things was a treat.

To compare this back to LO, none of its "reveals" feel like treats anymore, they feel like just another half-assed attempt to keep people interested. It's clickbait.

And don't get me wrong, you CAN totally subvert the breadcrumbs you put down for your audience and go in a completely different direction than where the audience was expecting, but it takes a shitload of skill and thought to do it well. Attack on Titan is one of the best recent examples of a story appearing to completely throw out its original script halfway through, only for that script to actually still be relevant in a very complex and thought out way. Especially when there ARE hints towards the big "twist" that make you go back and rewatch it and realize "WAIT, THEY'VE BEEN GIVING US THE ANSWERS ALL THIS TIME?!?!"

youtube

(it would be TWO MORE FUCKING SEASONS before this ending would make sense, that's fucking GENIUS foreshadowing and in the CREDITS SEQUENCE LIKE ?? IT'S SO BLINK AND YOU'LL MISS IT HOLY SHIT-)

Evidently Rachel does not have that skill and is not willing to put in that thought; maybe she could some day, but I don't think she's learning it on the job as well as she thinks she is.

And it's disappointing as fuck because it could have been so much better than this. Rachel is literally the only one getting in her own way of LO being something truly great.

#lore olympus critical #anti lore olympus #lo critical #ama #ask me anything #anon ask me anything #anon ama

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megan016 · 4 months

Text

Don't mind me just venting, after reading some JJK x readers and it's also past 1 AM so I am questioning my life pretty much. Pretty angsty, insecure, self confidence lacking vent.

🩵Randomly recommended song🩵

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Being single since the day you were born wasn't so great. Sure, until your late teenage years you thought you might be too young to date anyone. It wouldn't be real love after all. Just the typical young love that middle and high schoolers go through. You know, those relationships which end in a short period of time. However, as proud as you were that you were never included in these things... it was saddening being surrounded by people who were either in a relationship or had one.

You wanted to feel loved, also developed attachment issues, making it harder to make a difference between liking or loving someone, but it wasn't your fault anyways. Even if this issue gave you a hard time, making you desperate to be in a relationship finally, you had a type, you had standards which you never planned giving up on, right? You wanted to be happy with someone who hit these requirements, you weren't asking for much, were you?

Then why are you telling yourself that it is fine if they are not your type at all, they hit a few things you like in someone, that must be enough too, right?

Oh...

Maybe you do ask for a lot, no? After all, who are you to have the audacity to even think of having standards? Huh? Look at yourself...

What do you have to offer?

Have you ever thought of if these kind of people would even love you back? Oh please... Do you really think you hit their standards?

Don't be so self centered, you are not the only one who thinks the way you do.

Now go and lose some weight so you would have the ideal body.

Put some make up on to hide your ugly face, or at least make something else be the center of attention when they look you in the eye.

Have you looked at your nails? They look like you have never ever taken care of them. Maybe some press ons might help that.

I hope you remember that your face isn't the only thing ugly here. What a shame, look at that hip, those thighs and breast covered in white stretch marks. You know those are permanent, right?

Uhm... look at your grades... You can try telling yourself that "those don't reflect your real knowledge", but do you really believe it? You're so stupid. You really think you would have a chance with anyone this way?

Your looks changed so much. Almost looking completely like those annoying girls.

You are one of them, aren't you?

Well, not really. Fortunately.

However, even those kind of people you dislike, your current classmates, your ex-lassmates, even your bullies, one who is also known as your toxic ex-friend, has a partner.

Maybe, just maybe...

...you are the issue.

----------------------------------------------

Don't misunderstand me, I don't have problem with people who do make up, do their nails or do anything to make themselves feel prettier. Then I was talking about the annoying girl who do these, I meant I hate their personality. Their personality is what's rotten.

LOVE Y'ALL, MWAH!

I just go, continue listening to my vent playlist while crying, no sleep needed this night.

Geto x reader hurt/comfort coming soon, where again, I will just list my insecurities but he comes to the rescue and comforts the reader<33

-Megan🩵

104 notes · View notes

phantomspiderr · 1 year

Text

Not A Bad Morning

Pairing: Steven Grant x gn!reader (ft. Marc Spector too)

Word Count: 2.5k+

Summary: Steven was just trying to have a stress free morning before his job interview but it just seems like everything’s against him

Warnings/Tags: not a lot of warnings really, it’s fluff. Steven has a little self doubt, reader has a dog, just a little meet cute in the park, Marc being soft and helping Steven

a/n: ohhhh Steven my beloved. Yes it's another Steven fic, sorrrrrrryyy. I promise I am working on other things, specifically a tlou fic if anyone is interested👀 also this is probably terrible but I hope you enjoy anyway

*(I orginally posted this last night but something kept happening to the end of the fic where it just kept deleting the last two paragraphs so we've had to make a new post and hope that works)

**any lines all in italics are Marc talking with Steven in case that isn’t clear

･☆: *.☽ .* :☆

The morning had not been kind to Steven.

It had started with him somehow snoozing his alarm without even waking up and the water in his shower had run ice cold. Then all his clothes seemed to be in the laundry pile and he had to borrow a pair of Jake’s trousers that he felt were a little too tight for his liking.

It felt like some sick joke when he’d opened the fridge and it was empty; bar some dodgy-looking carrots, out-of-date oat milk, and a single egg—why is there just one egg?? Is it really that difficult to do a food shop??— so he had no breakfast and very little time. He makes a mental note to berate Marc or Jake the next time they show up on body sharing etiquette and making sure there’s bloody food in the fridge.

Steven was slowly losing hope for the day and it wasn't even 10am. He'd tried his hardest to plan the day to the tee. It’s been all he’s been able to think about since he saw the ad for his dream job and had been lucky enough to get an interview for it. He had wanted to make sure it was the least stressful it could've been but it was as if the universe wasn't on his side today.

Now he’s impatiently waiting in line at a local coffee shop, his foot incessantly taps against the floor as he anxiously checks his watch every few seconds.

You have plenty of time.

“Shut up,” Steven mutters quietly, looking off to the side into a mirror where he can see his own—slightly disheveled—reflection. A stranger gives him an offended look as they walk past, “not you-I-sorry!” He turns around to stare at the back of the person in fronts head and tries to act somewhat normal, giving Marc a cold shoulder in the process.

Stop stressing out.

Steven rubs at his temple while willing the queue to move even a fraction of a second quicker.

You’re going to get the job.

This time Steven sighs, this is one of those times he wishes he could just stick his fingers in his ears and hum a tune to drown out Marc’s voice.

Even if you don’t, it’s not the end of the world. We can go somewhere else. It’d be their loss.

There are just two more people in front, he can ignore him just a little longer.

You can’t ignore me forever.

A little more passive-aggressively than he’d normally be, Steven, rummages in his bag for his phone. Then he theatrically pretends to make a phone call.

“Hiya just wanted to let you know I’m fine.” He glances back to the mirror to see Marc with an unamused look and his arms crossed over his chest.

Sure you are.

“No, I’m not stressed.”

Clearly.

“I wish you’d stop saying I was because if anything that stresses me out more yeah?”

The tone in Steven’s voice is one that says he’s on the end of his tether and this time Marc just holds his hands up, not saying a word. Steven softens a little when after a beat Marc just gives him a look that says, ‘you are stressed out and I just want to help.’

“I appreciate you trying to help. I’ll talk to you later.” He pulls the phone away from his ear and gives his alter a final look in the mirror before turning back to see there’s no one in front of him now and the barista is waving their hand at him.

Now, with a fresh cup of tea and a surprisingly good looking vegan blueberry muffin secured, he takes the shortcut through the park to get to the museum on the other side. He went to check his watch, somehow forgetting the cup of hot tea in his hand and almost spilling it on himself. There was plenty of time for him to sit on that bench at the other end of the park, near the lake, where he could calmly enjoy his breakfast before his interview.

The park seems quiet enough that Steven feels comfortable talking with Marc now without worrying about people around hearing him. “You still there?” He asks the question while simultaneously knowing the answer.

Mhmm.

“Do you really think I’ll get the job?” Steven’s anxiety and self-doubt creep out with every word.

I already told you, if you don’t it’s their loss. Marc’s softens after a rather sad-looking Steven catches a glimpse of him in a passing puddle. You’re more knowledgeable on all that stuff than anyone else and you can do that job better than anyone.

“But what if…what if they just don’t like me, like how Donna didn’t?” Steven won’t even look at Marc as he passes another puddle, more interested in the plain-looking pathway below his feet.

Fuck Donna. And fuck them if they don’t like you.

Marc’s voice has an edge to it then before he relaxes again, remembering his goal is to soothe Steven’s anxiety, not make it worse.

Which they will…

…like you I mean!

People find your clumsy nature endearing.

Fuck, I’m not great at this.

The last sentence makes Steven chuckle just a little because Marc may not be the best with words but at least he tries.

As Steven goes to reply his thoughts are interrupted by shouting, for a second he’s so in his head he thinks it’s Marc but it sounds too far away and he looks up just in time to see a big dog bounding towards him. He doesn’t even have a second to react before the dog jumps onto him, knocking his tea completely out of his hand as he falls backward and lands on his ass with a thud. The dog continues to excitedly jump at him and tries to lick at his face despite him squirming as it does so.

“Val!” The shouting continues, this time much closer and it sounds like someone is running, “I’m so sorry! Val get off!” Suddenly the dog is pulled off of him and Steven’s a little dazed by what just happened. He blinks up at you, his eyes squinting because of the sun's brightness. Maybe that’s why he thinks you look like a literal angel standing above him. The sunlight behind you causes your silhouette to be surrounded by a ring of bright yellow light. “I am so so sorry! She’s a friend's dog and she’s just a pup. I’m just walking her while my friend’s away. I’m so sorry the lead slipped out of my hand and she just bolted.”

Either get up or talk please, this is painful to watch.

“Oh.” Steven’s head kicks into gear again and he awkwardly gets back up onto his feet, wincing slightly when he rubs a hand over his now sore lower back. “It’s okay, accidents happen.”

“I’m so sorry, I hope she didn’t hurt you. Shit, you’ve dropped your drink. Here-“ you start rummaging around in your pocket.

“Oh no, it’s okay! Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t a great cup of tea anyway.” That was a lie. It cost about £6 and was actually a pretty good tea that he only got on special occasions, like today when the world seems against him.

“I’m so sorry,” your eyes look so apologetic and Steven still feels a little dazed while looking at you. He thinks you look like you belong in a museum, amongst the marble statues and fancy oil paintings. You’re something that should be admired by everyone.

Steven, the attractive person is talking to you and you need to talk back, like now.

Steven barely has a second to form any thoughts before Marc speaks again.

Let me front.

“No!” It comes out before he even properly thinks about it and he tries his best to play it off, “no don’t be sorry. What kind of dog is it?” He tries to shift the conversation so you hopefully don’t think too much about how weird he is acting.

“Oh… she’s a rescue so they think lurcher but my friend swears she’s part collie too!” You’re fondly looking at the dog while Steven observes you for just a second more, “she usually listens really well but apparently, we need to work on not running off and jumping strangers. Huh, Valkyrie?” Both the dog and you look at each other affectionately as you scratch behind her ear.

“That’s a really nice name, it’s from Norse mythology right?” Steven likes it when you smile right at him, a quiet giggle slipping out.

“Uh, yeah. That and I think my friend is in love with the king of New Asgard.” You both laugh this time and Steven thinks it’s the nicest sound he’s heard in a long time.

Then there’s an awkward moment of silence and Steven just doesn’t know how to keep the conversation going or if you even want to keep the conversation going and now he slightly wishes he’d let Marc front. Marc’s always better at flirting with people in regular conversation, he can pick up on certain social cues Steven is blind to. Steven wants to flirt with you, he was just immediately drawn to you and he wants to get to know you so badly, he just doesn’t know how.

Ask for their name or introduce yourself.

Marc’s voice filters through Steven’s self doubting thoughts.

“I’m Steven,” it comes out quickly and forcefully before he can overthink it and his hand flies out in your direction. He can barely look at you his eyes flickering anywhere but at you. That is until your hand slips into his, your hand’s a little cold but it feels nice in his slightly clammy one and he watches your smile grow after you say your name. Quietly he repeats it to himself as a way for his brain to better remember it and he really just likes the way it sounds.

“I’m really sorry again, can I buy you another cup of tea? There’s a cart just down this path that sells hot drinks.” He thinks he’s maybe getting ahead of himself or looking too closely into it but he really likes the idea of spending more time with you. Marc catches him just before he ultimately agrees immediately without another thought.

Steven, your interview.

“Oh sh-!” He reluctantly pulls his hand from yours to check his watch only to see time has somehow run away from him. Now he suddenly has very little time to get to the museum. “I’m sorry I have an interview for this dream job of mine in like ten minutes and it’s probably going to take me that long to run there!”

“Oh.” Is that disappointment seeping into your features? “That’s okay,” just like that it’s gone and you’re smiling at him again, “I owe you a cup of tea then Steven.”

“After?” It comes out a little more like a forceful statement rather than a polite question. He just had to say it before his brain chickened out. Now you’re looking at him confused, quietly repeating the word he just uttered.

Steven, buddy, you gotta say a little more.

“I’m trying,” he quickly mumbles to the side before turning back to you and more cautiously speaking this time, “maybe we could- if you want to-maybe you’d want to-"

Steven, calm, breathe.

He pauses and takes a deep breath, his eyes falling closed for just a second. When they open you’re still there. You’re real and you’re still standing in front of him, curiously waiting on him to speak again. That beautiful smile still gracing your face and he’s lost again, lost in the calm of your eyes on him.

Steven.

“Do you want to meet after?” Marc’s voice reminds him of what he was trying to say and it comes out more smoothly than he expected. Maybe that’s down to Marc being even closer to the front, almost slipping into control of the body for just a moment.

“Oh.” Steven thinks he’s misread the situation—it wouldn’t be the first time—because you look surprised. Just as he opens his mouth to rescind the offer and apologise profusely you speak again. “I-I’d love that,” Steven watches as a grin spreads across your face and he mirrors your expression.

As much as I want to see how this pans out, we’re late.

“Shi-!” Steven checks his watch just to confirm even though he already knows he’s more than late at this point, “I have to go!”

The last thing he wants to do is leave and he awkwardly moves to do so before something else inside him fights it. If this wasn’t his dream job he’d forget all about the interview and just stay here in the park with you. Maybe you could walk around the water and sit with a cup of tea on a bench, and get to know each other better.

“Go! Go!” You’re gently shooing him off so he listens, and forces his feet to move but he keeps looking back at you as he takes the first few steps. Val tugs on the end of her lead, a little cry escaping as she looks at Steven and then back to you.

Wait!

Steven halts abruptly almost falling over his own feet.

Give them your number!

Frantically Steven rushes back over to you, Val now pulling you almost off your feet as she excitedly taps her paws on the ground. How did he somehow forget a crucial part?! He quickly rummages in his bag and pulls out the receipt from the coffee shop, a loose pen, and some crumbs from his forgotten, now squished muffin.

“Here,” he messily scribbles down something that resembles his phone number and quickly decides to add a little note on the end. You delicately take the note when he offers it, smiling as you glance over it before looking at Steven again. His face hurts from how much he’s smiling, “see you later then?” When you excitedly nod he adorably waves as he starts to back away again. Steven walks backward for a second longer than he probably should just so he can admire the way you’re still standing smiling at him too. Reluctantly he pulls his eyes away from you and turns, breaking into a light jog as Marc reminds him they're late once again. Steven takes one last look at you, he’s surprised you’re still standing there reading over his little note with a large smile still plastered to your face.

You did a good job back there.

The small compliment makes Steven feel good. He'd been working hard with Marc on communication. Learning to breathe and formulate his words better in conversation and it seems the hard work is paying off.

Steven takes one final look at you before he speeds into more of a run, his heart now racing for another reason. Even now when he nervously answers the interviewer's question his mind stays stuck on you. He can't stop thinking about how nice you looked or the way you smiled so brightly-

Steven, focus!

#moon knight x reader #moon knight #moon knight fanfic #moon knight fanfiction #steven grant x reader #steven grant #steven grant x gender neutral reader #steven grant x you #steven grant fluff #marvel #marvel fic #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #steven grant x gn!reader #steven grant fic #steven grant fanfiction #steven grant x y/n

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poohbea · 2 years

Text

𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇 𝐌𝐘 𝐄𝐘𝐄𝐒.

— because Timiko ( @sanjisblackasswife ) has outdone themselves yet again i had to write about it - visuals 1 2 3

wordcount: 1.8k

content: dom husband!toji, chubby fem!reader, black reader, mirror sex, reverse cowgirl?, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex (use protection kids), LOTS of praise, pet names (pretty, baby girl, baby, doll, MAMAS, etc.), mention of hickeys (you're covered in em), possessive toji, creampie, cock warming, oh and did i mention the waist chain?

— synopsis: after receiving your anniversary gift from your wonderful husband you begin to feel a little insecure about your body. he lets you see yourself through his eyes.

note from pooh: alright it’s late and im sleep deprived but it’s done and i’m happy. i need sleep help. i couldn’t leave this gem alone, thank you to timiko for giving us another master piece love you - y’all go check her out and give her some love.

WARNING: this is smut, so please ensure you have your age visible on your account before interacting. Minors (below 18+), ageless and blank blogs will be BLOCKED

Hope you enjoy ♡ reblogs are greatly appreciated

You played with Toji’s gift in your bedroom mirror, holding it up to your stomach, his name plate glowing prettily under the lights. It was your first wedding anniversary, a day you’d been looking forward to since he asked you to marry him what seemed like so long ago.

The waist chain was a clear silver, with two bands. The top with a pair of dainty hearts and the other with Toji’s name in cursive. The more you stared at yourself, however, the more you began to feel self conscious.

Would you be able to wear it out? You hated people looking at your stomach enough as it is, let alone with the extra attention a waist chain would bring to the area. Maybe you’d wear it when you lost a bit of weight, you thought to yourself, convinced it would look better that way.

So caught up in your thoughts you didn’t hear Toji enter, stopping to watch you in the mirror frowning at your own reflection. “What’s wrong, pretty?” He smiles, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

You let out a soft sigh, letting the chain hang from your fingertips. “I-I just…” He turns you to face him, brows furrowing at your hesitation. You could tell him anything, you knew that, he didn’t understand why you were holding back.

“Use your words, baby. What’s the matter?” Your gaze shifts to the chain in your hands, so does his. “You don’t like the gift?” He asks gently, taking it from you.

“No! I love it, it’s gorgeous, it’s just that I’m scared to wear it.” You answer honestly, failing to meet his gaze.

He hums in thought, turning you to face the mirror again. “Why?” The chain is positioned just above your hips, his name plate falling at your navel as he clasps it around your waist. A smile finds his lips, taking in the dainty accessory with a devilish look in his eye. “Perfect, mamas.”

“I don’t understand what you see in me.” You blurt out suddenly, facing him again, growing tired of your reflection. All you saw was disappointment anyway. “I’m not skinny,” you continue. “I have a big stomach. I’m too heavy… there’s so many better girls…” Hanging your head in shame, your words die in your throat as you feel tears brim your waterline.

Toji couldn’t help but frown seeing you so upset with yourself. Especially when he didn’t believe any of it. Was this really how you saw yourself? How you think about yourself daily? He couldn't let this go on.

His index finger tilts your head so your eyes finally meet his. He wasn’t going to let you run from this, not if he had anything to say about it. “Every last inch and pound of that cute body of yours is all mine.” His thumb smooths over your pillowy lips as a smirk upturns his own. “Why would I trade you for anyone else?”

“But-” You started, only to be cut off by him kissing his teeth.

“But?” Although there was a prolonged silence the question was a rhetorical one and you knew it. “Since you don’t believe me…” His lips close in on yours, hand slipping around your throat softly, thumb pressed against your jaw. “I’ll prove it to you.” Heat floods your body as his breath ghosts your lips with each syllable, almost bringing you to your knees at how close he’d gotten. “Strip. Now. And face the mirror.” He instructs darkly, tilting his head slightly, awaiting your response.

With a shaky breath you muster. “Yes, sir.” Feeling your arousal already pooling between your thighs.

He pulls you in for a kiss, lips soft but dominating over your own. He takes your bottom lip between his teeth as he pulls back, letting it recoil with a subtle bounce. “Good girl.”

The next few minutes were a blur as you took off your shirt and shorts. You were going to stop at your panties but Toji’s next words told you otherwise. “All of it, darlin’.” Letting the final item fall to the carpeted floor, you followed his instruction and stood in front of the mirror, resisting the urge to bring your hands up to cover yourself in embarrassment.

Your husband had also rid himself of his clothes, sitting expectantly on the edge of the bed behind you. “Mm, look at you baby.” He groans, making the heat on your skin rise. “C’mere.”

You walk into his arms gratefully, standing between his spread legs, where his cock was already hard against his stomach. He brings you into his lap, sitting you down in the space in front him on the edge of the bed and letting your legs hang over his, spreading them wide as his knees parted.

Your head leans onto his shoulder, letting his chest press against your back comfortably. He trails kisses over your neck, shoulders and jaw, hands with a mind of their own as they caressed your supple body, moulding into his touch perfectly. “You see, sweetheart?” His lips brush over the shell of your ear. “So pretty just for me. And this…” You gasp as his fingers slot through your folds, brushing over your clit as he did so. “Already so wet for me, huh, doll?”

The words couldn’t make it past your lips, stuck on your tongue as he played with your pussy between his fingertips. All you really could do was let out short and stuttered breaths, quiet moans becoming more frequent the longer he teased you.

“You ready?” He smiles against your ear, hands positioned under your thighs.

“Yes.” Was all you could manage before he lifts you up and his swollen tip is easing into your entrance. “T-Toji!”

“Take it baby. That’s it.” Your pussy grips him in a vice as he sits you down fully, enjoying the view of his cock buried deep in the reflection of the mirror. He enjoys the way your chest rises and falls so fast, letting little whimpers fall past your lips that you’d trapped between your teeth. “Look at yourself sweetheart. Look how fuckin’ sexy you look. How you fit so perfectly in my hands.”

You peek through heavy lids, the image reflected back at you unrecognisable. Your legs wide, held open by his hands that imprinted into your skin. Your hair was a mess of curls, sweat beading between your breasts, your stomach and thighs, all littered with dark hickeys from the activities the night before.

Toji begins to move you along his cock, raising and lowering you as if you weigh nothing to him. He chuckles at the way you fall back against him immediately, lost in the pleasure of his tip nudging your sweet spot, the one he knew like the back of his hand. “You see, doll.” His hips rut up to meet yours in time with his movements. “Look at how easy it is for me to just pick you up and show you how pretty you are.”

“Toj- fuck!” You whine, hooking your hand at the nape of his neck. “Oh my go-” Every word was met with a harsh thrust, the friction along your gummy walls snuffing out any coherency you had left in you.

He chuckles in your ear, voice deep and hot against your skin. “This body was made for me and me alone.”

“Yes, yes, yes. It’s yours Toji- Fuck!” Your other hand covers your mouth, attempting to muffle the increased volume of your voice.

The action was short lived as Toji’s hand covers your own, drawing it down to your pussy to let your fingers hover over your clit. “Don’t be embarrassed mamas, just feel good for me, yeah?” His fingers draw broken circles on the sensitive bud, leading yours that were weakly trying to keep up through the fog of pleasure that clouded your mind. “Fuck, you feel so good around me, baby girl. You’re gripping me so tight.”

You were trying so hard to stay with him, to keep up with his ministrations. But with how his dick and fingers danced in time at your core, you knew you wouldn’t last very long at the rate it was going. His fingers overtook yours at a sped up pace, cock hitting deeper with each stroke. You felt that familiar sensation in the pit of your stomach, a string being pulled, tighter and tighter, on the cusp of snapping.

“To-Toji! Toji, I’m-” Your hand grips his that continue to strum your clit, trembling as the thread unravelled in a matter of seconds. “Coming!” Was the last word before it snapped entirely and you were covering his dick in cum. Cream drooling from your pussy down to his balls as he continued to fuck up into you, moaning at just how tight you were clenching around him.

“Fu-fuck, babygirl!” His strokes border errectic before he’s pushing you down to the hilt, forcing you to take it all. You feel his cock twitch inside of you, spurting strings of hot cum along your walls, making sure you were full of it.

Whines escape you as he sucks at the juncture between your neck and jaw, blooming another deep purple mark to add to the growing collection over your body. Possessiveness overtaking him even in his tired state.

He leaves a kiss on your skin in finality before tapping your thigh as a gesture to get up. You do so with trembling legs, pussy clenching around nothing at the emptiness between your thighs, letting his cum spill down the flesh. Silently he takes your arm, pulling you on top of him to straddle his lap. “Put it back in for me, doll.” He sighs, resting a hand on your ass, kneading and relishing in the softness of it as you guide his cock back into the warmth of your pussy. Whining at the sensitivity sending tingles up your spine.

You lay there on his chest, trying hard not to pay attention to the presence between your legs while you listen to his heartbeat, the rhythm strong against your ear. “Learnt your lesson?” His voice reverberates in his chest, making your body vibrate at his low baritone.

“Yes.” You mutter weakly, face pressed against his chest, on the precipice of sleep.

“Now, stop talking about yourself that way. Don’t even think about yourself that way either. It pisses me off.” You tighten around him as his hips shift slightly beneath you. “I love your cellulite, stretch marks, tummy, all of it. It’s mine. Understand, dummy?” When you stay silent for too long his hand lifts from your ass. “I said…” He lands a harsh smack to the soft skin, forcing a meek yelp from your smaller frame. “Understand?”

“Yes, Toji.” You whimper, feeling sleep overcome you, his body serving as a lullaby to your weary conscience.

He lets out a tired laugh, letting his hand run from your ass up your spine, combing through your hair gently to massage your scalp. “That’s my girl.”

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qqueenofhades · 5 months

Note

thank you for your post i’m doing my best to stay informed on the conflict and i’m very young. i feel guilty being quiet as i understand to uplift voices helps prevent their silencing but this has lead me to not critically think about what i’m spreading

it’s been a long month. i’m only a kid and watching the world go to shit like this has been awful, I always wondered how millennials who lived through post nine eleven imperialism coped and god i’m still not sure how.

I am as a white gentile in a position of privilege and mostly my own person is unaffected by the uptick in violence and evil in the world right now. But my friends who i see every day are in more danger due to this conflict and i feel awful that i cannot ever fully understand or fix the deaths of people.

Right now I’m being a bit too reactionary. I’m doing my best but in the end I am not immune to fearmongering and propoganda, especially in these last couple sleepless weeks.

So thank you and everyone who is keeping level heads and desconstructing what’s happening. I’m sorry and i strive to be better. Thank you.

To anyone living in fear right now i’m so sorry. I will listen when you speak.

Once again I just want to say that I am a busy and uninformed student, and I wish that i had more teachers and authority figures that had objective facts to tell me. It’s suffocating to have fake news everywhere but feel powerless if you don’t know anything

it’s ok if you don’t respond to this

Thank you for your post

Thanks for this message and for taking the time to put it into words and to reflect on your own actions and rhetoric. It takes a lot of courage and self-awareness to admit that you were wrong and that you want to do better, and I'm not going to rip into you or blame you or otherwise shame you for it. So I hope this gives you the confidence to read on without feeling like you'll be raked over the coals for it, and open you to hear some ideas for doing things differently.

First, I do have a ton of sympathy for you as a young person who feels overwhelmed and exhausted by all the evil in the world, and is wondering how to get through it, react to it, or otherwise make some kind of moral response in the face of this soul-crushing trauma. I will say here that I am a little bit older than your average Tumblr user (the majority of this site is in their early-mid twenties), I do personally remember 9/11 and its aftermath when a lot of people here weren't even born yet, and I am an academic historian with a doctorate. That does not mean I am better or smarter or More Perfect or whatever at what I say, but it means that I do have a considerable amount of institutional, formal, and professional practice at analyzing a lot of complex information, putting it into words, breaking it down for less-specialist audiences, pointing out logical fallacies, and so forth.

That is not a skill that everyone has, and in the face of nonstop 24-hour news-cycle social media information overload, it can be incredibly difficult to parse it or understand how you're supposed to respond to it or what your moral obligation in response to this knowledge might be. I wrote this ask the other day in response to someone else asking how to improve their critical thinking skills and be more discerning about what they understood, shared, and analyzed. I strongly encourage you to read it, as it addresses a lot of what you're saying about feeling negative, depressed, panicked, angry, and all the other emotions that are naturally evoked in you from reading this stuff nonstop and feeling like the only thing you can (or should) do is immerse your brain in it at all times. In short, that is absolutely the worst environment to do actual substantial analysis or critical thinking, and it is designed so on purpose.

It has been said before, but it bears repeating: the human brain simply is not designed to be constantly aware of all the atrocities in the world and thus (thanks to social media) feeling as if the only way they can do anything about it is to then post the Correct Opinions on social media (regardless of whether these are informed or relevant or otherwise useful). Especially now, the rush to demonstrate Correct Thinking has warped a lot of otherwise well-meaning young people into becoming eager disinformation mouthpieces. There are a TON of explicitly bad-faith actors and far-right fascists who are posting pro-Palestine content (factual or uh, otherwise) because they know that's an instant way to get an audience of said young left-leaning people who will then be suckered into and exposed to their far more dangerous content and mindset, because that is how radicalization works. Even in the support of an obviously worthy cause, you and everyone else ARE NOT IMMUNE to fearmongering, disinformation, and virulently anti-Semitic propaganda, especially when it's being eagerly and constantly offered in a deliberate attempt to radicalize you further into violence and conspiracy theories, turn you against other vulnerable groups and people, and explicitly disengage you from the electoral/political process, which will harm the Democrats and other liberal establishment parties in favor of more far-right radical fascist theocrats and otherwise make everything, everywhere, many orders of magnitude worse.

I know the feeling that you need to do something, and since you're a long way from the conflict, it seems as if posting on social media is the best and/or the only way to go about it. In that environment, and especially right now, you will make mistakes. I know it is difficult in an online environment where popularity or acceptance by your peers often rests on never being wrong about anything (i.e. saying the same thing everyone else is saying), but it always helps to think about what you're doing, what you're saying, and if you actually need the approval of people who are conditioning you, implicitly or explicitly, into negative and violent ideological nihilism.

The hardest thing to understand is that yes, there is a lot of terrible shit going on in the world; no, you cannot personally fix it and you have to accept that as a limitation; yes, there are many multiple and complex causes and reasons for its existence and there is almost never a black-and-white simplistic moral solution that just hasn't been magically implemented yet; yes, it is always worth it to take the time to inform yourself and consider what you're saying, where it comes from, who it helps and who it hurts, and why you feel the need to say it in the first place. Of course you want to help. Of course you want to stop the needless suffering and death that has gone on in the world for millennia and unfortunately, as long as humans are humans, will continue to do so. But even so, take it away Gandalf:

#anonymous #ask

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psychotrenny · 2 months

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This summary post will be the last post on Aaron Bushnell unless something else comes up. I've been talking a lot about it recently because I've been quite frustrated with the consensus opinion that has emerged among digitally active Western progressives, even those who claim to be materialists.

At this point I don't have any problem with the man himself; even as willing member of the US military the fact he eventually came to terms with the cruelty he was responsible for and felt the need to do something drastic about it puts him far above your average imperialist. And whatever you can say about his actions it cannot be denied that he had good intentions that he acted upon with deep courage and conviction. Nor do I have any problem (nor a right to do so) with the Palestinian response, both at home and in the diaspora. As a brutally oppressed people facing a genocide that most of the world is either complicit or actively involved in, it's fair enough for them to gratefully accept any form of solidarity and support they feel is genuine and valuable. Aaron Bushnell is ultimately as much a martyr as anyone; he died in the name of Palestine in the hopes that one day it would be free

My problems is the response by large numbers of Western Progressives who've seen fit to valourise this man in a way far out of proportion with the actual impact of his actions. Self-immolation has never been a very effective political tactic, especially when compared to it's immense costs. Even if it was a useful tactic, the efficacy of it has barely registered as a point of discussion. There's been such an intense focus on praising the personal moral qualities he displayed with the actual impacts of his actions being largely ignored. Like he's being held up as this sort of ultimate hero despite not actually achieving all that much, while the material achievements (and sacrifices) of Palestinian resistance fighters receive a fraction of the attention. Like for a lot of people it seems as though they needed some sort of dead white hero to latch onto, a 21st century John Brown, and it's just discomforting how much praise and attention he's getting compared to all the millions of martyred people in Palestine. The fact is that I've seen far more adulation for Bushnell from people who were already (ostensibly) pro-Palestine than from those who were "converted" by his action so to speak

The fact that Bushnell committed an ultimately pacifistic act probably helps; for a lot of liberals it's much more comforting to praise the passive resistance that holds it's moral high ground than to deal with the apparent messiness of those who commit violence against others in the name of liberation. Like when Western Progressives do talk about Palestinians they offer far more sympathy and attention the helpless innocents than they do to any actual resistance fighters. And this sort of thing is bad enough on it's own but it also reflects the way that the Western Left consistently prefers their heroes to be dead and morally pure* even at the cost of defeat and usually find some way to disown those who live long enough to exercise any power. Like for all those who were more moved Aaron Bushnell's sacrifice than by the sufferings and struggles of the millions in Palestine itself, I can't help but be skeptical about how much their support means. So many Westerners seem incapable of supporting Palestinians on terms other than their pity for a faceless suffering mass

*ideally non-violent, if not then violent through noble revolution as opposed to authoritarian oppression

#Stella Speaks

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eulchu · 1 year

Text

ok guys. let's have a real talk. let's ALL have a real talk and i don't mean just me and my anons . i hope this reaches all of our community even if you think i fucking suck.

fucking october didn't ruin us but i am so worried that this dumb tension just might. this is getting so ridiculous and out of hand -i barely understand what's going on myself. so im gonna need everyone to work together and do a collective reflection exercise.

i am gonna write out a series of points that i need u guys to think about before proceeding in this community:

- active blogs. you're burnt out. you're burnt out and you're so tired of trying to keep this community running that you're denying yourself a moment to feel your own frustrations as your own individual person. i get that . i get being under so much pressure that you can't catch yourself some slack, least you spiral out of control <- this is, however, really damn unhealthy 😭 it's ok to let yourself feel some disappointment!! some anger!! that's fine. it's up to you, however, what you do with it. this brings us to our next point.

- we NEED to acknowledge this if we wanna get better. ifl it's taboo and we're pushing the narrative so hard we're not giving ourselves enough space to breathe. it. is. okay. to. feel. disappointed. over. the. lack. of. dteam. content. i am the first person to shut down any self entilted prick who thinks they can expect something out of them. because they DON'T owe us anything. but truth is we are humans and, accordingly so, feel in consequence of our own expectations. i wanna break this part down in a few points:

it is OKAY to acknowledge that we are disappointed. denying one self's feelings never ended up ok for anyone. it is okay to acknowledge that we are not getting the content we were hoping for.

it is NOT okay to blame the dteam for it. this is where it gets tricky. the dteam are in charge of what type of content they put out. it will never be in our hands. at that point, if you don't like what they're doing. leave. i'm sorry. it's harsh. i'm not trying to be mean about it. i'd understand if you left! it's ok!

- before you leave, though, i want to ask you a question. why do dislike what they're doing so much? seriously, ask yourself that question. is the content that bad, in your eyes? if the answer is yes, i can't help you there. you've grown out of their content. there's no way around it.

- but is it actually bad, or is it just Not What You Expected? In which case, let's talk. Let's put things bluntly:

the dteam have waited years to be together. correct

upon living together, we have discovered that they are not very good at providing content because they put their friendship above content. i'm not sure if anyone had that in their bingo cards - but it's what happened. autumn was really rough on them & they've learnt to exist together off camera. me personally, i think it's sweet.

dteam and traveling: a fall out? :o . no. jesus christ 😭 the fact that this is the new narrative nauseates me. i don't think anyone in their right mind thinks that dteam are less close than they were when they were living apart.

Bringing back our initial point, the failure to meet our expectations can be mentally challenging. it will inevitably make us second guess a lot of associated ideas that we thought were true . if one of our expectations fails to be met, that's a fail in our mental plan. if we were wrong about this, who's to say we are right about anything else?

i'm not sure if there's some sort of denial of feelings here or if people are trying really hard not to think about this possibility because it makes them scared. i am inviting you to take a moment to really think about it and feel the initial dread of the question. it will pass fairly quickly.

the truth is that the dteam is FINE. they're fine, they share a house, they film videos together, and they go on these long ass hiatus when they're together because they would much rather spend uncesored time off-line.

my favorite point: for how parasocial we are, we don't give them nearly enough credit. the dteam are adult men. we have to put faith in their decisions. only they know what they're doing. they know what's best for them. we certainly don't.

- i wanna rescue this last point. their decisions are THEIRS. if we don't put trust in what they're doing, we're already failing the game. that means who they hang out with too. i get not liking someone ok? i get it. i don't like a lot of people either. no one is pointing a gun to any of their heads. if you think that any of them is doing something that you don't see fit you have problems and you need to grow up. it is not our place to dictate their lives and it will never be. that goes for the white-knighting too.

⚠️(this is a completely hypothetical scenario)⚠️

the truth is if tomorrow george decides to go back to the uk, for whatever reason. we would all have to fucking shut it. fan disappointment? yes. acting like george is an awful person for betraying his best friends? you're out of your fucking mind.

dream george and sapnap are grown up people with a strong friendship and communication skills. if you think that george would take the unilateral decision and not tell anyone until the day before you need to seek help. whatever decision the dteam take about their lives it's THEIRS and you need to put some fawking faith in what they're doing. they know what's up.

that goes for the fucking karl problem too okay? i don't like it either. whatever. it's not my place though?? dream isn't a baby who's been abandoned he's a grown ass man who knows what he's doing and if he still considers (if they ALL do) karl his friend that's his decision. if he thinks that karl's friendship management is fine that's his decision. we are not dream's friends nor his fucking therapist.

- the thing about dooming and content. the multishippers: is the dteam all there really is? i firmly believe that we all kove the dteam outside of each other. (mostly tackled in this post)

- dnf and the fandom. jesus christ i can't believe i have to make a point about this. i think it's important to remember that at the end of the day. it's just Not That Serious. it was never meant to be that serious. bringing back the "they're their own people" point, what the Fuck do some people think they're doing 🧍‍♂️

dnf know what they're doing they know the nature of their relationship better than we ever will. if they're just friends it's because they chose to if they . in the biggest plot of the century . come out of this with a s/o it doesn't mean they're cheating on each other, that dream/george was leading anyone on or that they're hurting each other???? are you CRAZY 😭 if they're dating they're dating if they're not they're fucking not but they're. not gonna be sad about it??? they're adult people in an adult relationship they know what tf they're doing. they hold each other's hearts impossibility close to themselves. there's nothing they would ever do that could hurt each other.

to wrap things up: after this reddit worthy post (congrats if you've made it to the end) i have something very important to ask of you guys.

i know it might be unfair but can we all compromise on detoxxing. completely. for like, a week. not posting neg at ALL. we can't enable doomers we can't enable bait anons. neg is only good for one thing: make anxious people paranoid as fuck.

so can we. for like a week. just not post anything /neg at all. can we block the worst of it. the unnecessary dooming. and not acknowledge at ALL. i get it's a huge mental toll on the active blogs - reading so much negativity SUCKS but i do believe that it's a better option than responding and enabling more people to send similar asks.

me personally, i am already saying it here: any dooming will get blocked in my askbox. i won't hate you for it. but this IS a warning that you need to get your shit together if you ever wanna have a chance at speaking in my askbox ever again.

um congrats if you read everything?😭 PLEAAAASE let's all make this place a better place again i know we can do it

U CAN ADD TO THIS POST IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY BTW !!!

#long post #rbs are appreciated 😭🫶

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damianbugs · 11 months

Note

would love to see u talk about the parallels in bruce’s dynamic with steph versus any of the other kids like emotionally and all that <3

i think the best way to start this is to highlight that stephanie and bruce's dynamic is quite literally "never meet your heroes" —

— and that bruce had the opportunity to truly take her under his wing and help her sharpen her skills while also teaching her why being a hero can be important to her personally without trying to be her father (which is the biggest difference between her and any of his other children).

it is also important to note that bruce did none of these things the way he should've.

in a meta reading, it was 100% misogynistic writing, ESPECIALLY her robin run. bruce, as the only grown up man in her life now that her father couldn't be used, was the person who was then used to bring her down at every possible chance. but in a storytelling perspective, i think bruce and stephanie's dynamic has many layers and is absolutely fascinating and incredibly tragic.

Batman: One Bad Day — Two Face

young stephanie watching batman fight her father, cluemaster.

batman meant something far more personal to stephanie than it did to anyone else. although characters like tim and damian had predispositions of what batman meant to people, or characters like jason and duke grew up with the idea of batman being normal in the places they grew up — to stephanie batman was genuinely just a hero.

another thing that really separates stephanie from bruce's other kids is that she is not his kid. bruce was never in a position to try and be her father, and that is not something she was actively seeking out either. to her, batman was always a hero who was kept at arms length. when they did form a more emotional relationship, it was still never familial in the same way the other kids eventually became to bruce.

this is not to say stephanie didn't become immensely important to bruce, but it was always different with her. this is why bruce could share things with stephanie in a way he couldn't with the others.

Robin #92

after a night of training/patrolling together, bruce and stephanie have a heart to heart conversation about the future of batman.

i know a very popular idea is that stephanie reminds bruce of jason, and that is why he was so hard on her, and while there is some truth in that i think there are a lot of moments that can give an entirely different impression;

and that is stephanie reminding bruce of himself.

there is no one who hates batman more than batman himself, as he is his biggest critic. bruce is startlingly self aware of his flaws and mistakes, but has accepted that he can't change them because it would mean putting gotham as risk.

Detective Comics 796

after a brief argument in which bruce heavily criticises stephanie, she asks if bruce is firing her. he responds "No, I'm teaching you."

it makes sense, in a terrible way, that bruce's own stubborn and headstrong desire to wear the cape to save people, to make sure their families don't end up like his did, is reflected in stephanie. this 'tough love' attitude which is more tough than love is nothing but bruce projecting his own desire to 'fix' his faults by doubling down on stephanie, in hope that maybe she'll turn out better than him.

whether or not stephanie is actually like bruce is an entirely separate conversation, but it doesn't change the fact that bruce ruined every opportunity to train stephanie in a way that didn't hurt her self esteem or confidence in being a hero.

but stephanie is one of the most emotionally strong characters. the inevitable tragedy and cruel ending to bruce and stephanie's mentor-student dynamic wasn't completely a loss, because she bounced back twice as skilled.

(and maybe that's just another thing bruce expected from her. to roll with the punches and keep standing back up.)

obviously there is a lot i haven't mentioned about their dynamic and how she was treated in general, and that's just glossing over the shitshow that was war games and her three month run as robin. but this is already way too long and i am not even on topic anymore.

tldr; stephanie and bruce truly were a wasted opportunity to showcase a deep and emotional bond as teacher and student, helping her find her role as a hero and bruce's chance as a mentor. despite it all, they care deeply about each other and stephanie deserved a better version of bruce.

i love them a lot. i wish dc would see the potential and treat them both with the respect they deserve and give their duo another chance. i think they can both teach each other very important lessons.

#bruce wayne #stephanie brown #my favourite duo ever they r so complicated and terrible for my mental health #also i dont think i actually answered ur ask my apologies friend #FUCK U BATMAN #okay sorry. the real enemy is (male) dc writers #dc meta #character study #saki asks

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lou-struck · 1 year

Text

Rice & Honey

Shinsuke Kita x Reader

Farmers Market AU!

~A simple love story between a Rice Farmer and a Bee Keeper

This is my Submission for @deartouya's Love in the Everyday Collab which can be found HERE

You wake up to the chirping of your alarm with a groan. You'd press snooze but then you probably wouldn't want to move for the rest of the day. With a huff, you curse your self-awareness and pull yourself from the safety of the blankets to prepare yourself for a day working at the farmers market.

Stepping outside the cool morning air prickles your skin as you walk through the dew-covered grass to your truck.

The darkened sky doesn't help you as you load the last few crates of Honey and honey products into the bed of your truck. the jars jingle and cling against each other as you secure the goods with care.

As you pull out of your driveway and down the dirt road the low sound of the radio fills your ears as you follow the bit of light inching over the horizon to the Farmers market.

Only a few cars pass you on the road, everyone else must be spending their Saturday morning still in bed.

When you arrive at the market you see that you have beat some of the other vendors to the park. You make it to your booth just as the sunrise blossoms filling the fading night sky with waves of warm pinks and oranges.

The morning chill fades as you unload your tables, displays, and cases of products from the back of your truck. It doesn't take long for your booth to get set up. Everything looks perfect, the jars of honey reflect the light of the rising sun through the glass.

It’s beautiful, but there is something else grabbing your attention from across the lot.

Through the tents and the other vendors, you see a familiar red truck pull up to an open stall. Your heart rate picks up speed when you see Shinsuke Kita emerge from the driver's seat.

The Handsome Rice Farmer greets the morning sky with a stunning smile as he wastes no time getting to work. sliding a few long tables from his back seats for his booth. With the tables prepped and clothed he turns his attention to the previously unopened truck bed where his products have been carefully strapped down.

It’s bags and bags of rice. The large sacks are carefully stacked in the front protecting the bins of smaller bags from sliding about the truck bed. For anyone else, they would've struggled with the large woven bags, opting to slide them out and drag them over to the tables. But Kita lifts the heavy bags with ease. Hauling it up and carrying it on his shoulder without so much as a grunt.

He handles the product he farmed himself with care setting up the rest of his stand in no time flat. The organization is simple yet practical and not overly eye-catching at all. But it doesn't matter, you know that the Handsome rice farmer will sell his entire stock today.

He always sells out.

How could he not? Everyone loves Shinsuke Kita, but he doesn't realize the effect he has on others and that makes him that much more endearing. all he has to do is give a friendly smile to a passing market patron and they can’t help but stop by and buy a little bag of rice from him. The bolder customers go so far as to buy one of the larger bags so the Farmer will help them load it into their tiny cars at the end of the day.

The park's large clocktower chines signaling 30 minutes till the start of the market. Vendors lock and secure their cashboxes and begin to walk from stall to stall, carrying around baskets of their own products hoping to make a few trades with other vendors.

This little barter system is called the vendors market, you find it useful to trade jars of honey for produce, baked goods, and any other thing that you would want during the week. Just as you go for your basket you notice someone is already standing in front of your booth.

Turning towards the vendor you start to speak “Hey there, what can I get y…”

The gorgeousness of Shinsuke Kita makes the words die on your lips as he greets you. his eyes look like sunlit jars of honey and his smile is twice as sweet.

“Good morning Y/n, how are you?” he says softly.

“I’m doing well, how about you?” you smile back hoping you don’t look as tired as you feel.

I’m doing wonderful.” he says “it really is a beautiful morning. I felt so fortunate getting to watch the sky on my drive over here.”

“ I was thinking the same thing, I don’t like the mornings when it’s so cloudy. I feel like the day just seems to never start.” You say enthusiastically. You don’t know why, but just a few minutes of talking with him makes you feel energized. It’s like you’ve just downed two cups of coffee.

“The morning sun makes these wake-ups a bit easier doesn’t it?” He says running a hand through his two-toned hair.

"It does, Are you bartering today?" you ask glancing down at the little bags of rice in his woven basket.

"I am, you sound surprised," he says.

"I am surprised, you don't participate in the Vendor's market very often," you respond not telling him your whole thought. If you were much bolder and much more honest, you would've said that Shinsuke has never had to participate in the market before. Most vendors are just as enamored with his good looks as you are and give him some of their own products just as an excuse to talk to him.

He laughs, and it becomes your favorite sound in the world. "I guess your right, I just need a few things today so I came prepared to trade. How much for a jar of honey?"

"j-just one bag," you say softly still awestruck by his melodious laughter. "It's about the same price for that amount."

He picks up one of your carefully packaged glass jars and examines the contents. "Honey is just so beautiful." he sighs.

'You're beautiful," you murmur under your breath instinctually

His gaze drifts from the jar to your face and he raises a brow. "I'm sorry y/n, did you say something?"

Your eyes widen, of course, he heard you say that, he is standing right in front of you. "Oh, I said." you bite your lip and try to think of something to say back. "I said yes, It sure is beautiful."

"I see," he says taking out a bag of rice from his basket and placing it on your table. "Here you go, I hope the sales go well today."

"Thank you, Kita, " you say as he turns to leave. But he stops and turns back towards you.

"If it's alright, could you call me Shinsuke?" he asks his amber-colored eyes not meeting yours filled with an emotion you haven't yet seen on his face. "The two of us a pretty close."

You nod yes, "Alright then, thank you Shinsuke." you don't know why but the name fills your stomach with butterflies.

A pink tint takes over his features as they soften in relief, "great. let me know when you are ready to pack up for the day, I'd love to help you take down your stand."

A heat blossoms on your skin as you take in his request.

He has never offered to do that for anyone before, he has seen you set up and take down your display many times over the months you have known eachother, why does he want to spend time with you after the market so badly?

“Sure thing,” you say as he sends you one last smile and walks back to his stand.

You notice that the basket of rice remains to be just rice, except for the one jar of Honey you gave him.

Your mind is full of nothing but Kita as your day zips by, the market is busier than normal thanks to the beautiful weather and you find yourself selling way more jars than you anticipated.

You’ll have to thank your bees with a little bit of sugar water for all their hard work. By the time the big clock in the center of the park hits two, your table only has a handful of honey sticks and a few jars left in stock.

Flopping down in your little folding chair you become all too aware of the tiredness of your legs from being on your feet all day. But at least with most of your wares gone the cleanup process will go by pretty quickie.

The clean-up process

You remember Shinsuke's request from earlier and glance to see how the rice farmer did with his wares. To no one's surprise, his stall looks practically empty. Not a grain of rice remains on display.

After this morning, the urge to talk to him has grown too large to repress. Grabbing the remainder of your honey sticks you walk across the path over to his stall to show him you haven't left yet.

You find him folding up one of his tables to slide into the back of his much emptier truck. “Hey,” you call getting his attention “I brought you something,”

“You brought me a gift? He says, his face lighting up when he sees you in front of him.

“Not a gift-gift,” you admit “ just some honey sticks I had left over. I thought you’d want to try them since they are different flavors.”

Thank you, I’d love to try them.” he says taking a stick, “I was really needing something sweet.”

He opens one up with his perfect teeth as the honey flows into his mouth.

“This is delicious,” he says as it honey drips onto his tongue, “what flavor was this?”

“Hmm, let’s see,” you say taking the half-empty stick from his calloused hands. You peer at the coloring of the product. “I think it's vanilla clover.”

“It’s my new favorite.” he grins as you hand the stick back to him. He looks down at his hand and notices there is a bit of honey that escaped the tube and is stuck to his hand. “Oh, that’s not good.”

He raises his hand to his lips and gently licks it off. The action though innocent makes your knees weak.

“Oh y/n, are you feeling alright? you look alittle dizzy,” he says with concern. He gently places his hands on your shoulder to make sure you don't collapse onto the pavement, but the action only makes you feel more flustered.

I’m fine,” you say taking a step back. His worried eyes follow you as you move. “just tired I guess.”

“I see, Have you eaten? I didn't see you take a break.” today.

You are too busy trying not to embarrass yourself in front of the hot farmer you don't realize that he had just admitted to watching you all day.

“Oh, I guess I haven't gotten the chance to yet,” you say obliviously feeling touched by his concern for your well-being.

The cute look on your face brings a smile to his lips. “In that case, I was going to get some lunch at a place I know, I was wondering if you would like to join me.” he wrings his hands “m-my treat of course.

“I’d love to,” you say with a smile. It seems like he is asking you out, but why on earth would he do that?

He is probably just being friendly.

“Good, then it's a date.” he grins.

His smile fills you with a bit of confidence you didn't know you had, “I’m sorry, but I need to know. Is this a date-date, or is this a friend date?.” you ask boldly.

He looks a bit confused and you wonder if you overstepped a boundary, but before you can open your mouth to backtrack he laughs that wonderful laugh again.

“Of course, I am asking you on a date y/n, you didn't know?”

“Know what?” You blink hoping that if you are dreaming, no one will wake you.

He clears his throat and takes your hand, his amber eyes staring deeply into yours “I have had the biggest crush on you for months now.”

“Really?” you squeak trying to remember something from the past several months that could have tipped you off. It’s them you remember all the ‘extra’, pastries, umbrellas, and cups of coffee he has given you over the months.

“Prove it,” you tease.

“If that's what you want, then I guess I have no choice,” he says lowly. His gaze drops to your lips as he leans in close and takes them greedily with his own.

Your eyes close and all you feel is the warmth of his lips and how perfectly you seem to fit into his arms.

Pulling back you take a breath, but the air feels lighter than you are used to.

“Just as I thought,” he mumbles against your lips. “Your lips are sweeter than any honey I’ve tasted.”

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #kita hq #shinsuke kita x reader #shinsuke kita #kita x reader #kita haikyuu #kita shinsuke #kita scenarios #kita fluff #haikyuu fluff #❥. love in the everyday

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