#adult adhd is ruining my life

[depressed-simp-writes]

so you all were just gonna gatekeep the women in operation raccoon city from me huh? none of you were gonna tell me theres not one but TWO mean women AND one of them is a mean blonde, my favorite?!? for shame

also four eyes is so fucking cute, i cant bro, the bounce when she's idle like shes hyping herself up, please slap me.

haven't seen the others yet but thats bc i didnt get the expansion yet

[theofficialdeannawinchester]

I’m in process of writing the draft of my very first memoir. Three years in development. Since I was ten, I enjoy the idea of being an author. I made little stories then I did fanfiction every time I had an embarrassing yet hellish time at school; still not a fan of that school no I won’t attend my high school zoom reunion or in-person; if i’m being honest, I don't give a damn attending a high school reunion I would rather hang out with an old friend somewhere fun; I’m getting off-topic I’m very excited. This is part of my secret project. My writing skills have been fueled after I watched Turning Red several times, I love the movie and relate to the main character. High school was hell for me like I stand up for myself. But it is time to tell my story. Finally, as ready at 21 I’m ready.

I’m thinking of publishing on Amazon and Barnes and Nobel under a different pen name so stay soon. -Deanna 💜💫 😏😏 Have a great day. Stay safe.

[jjongolese]

When I was younger, I thought that in order to be loved by many people, you had to either be the most popular kid in school or famous. I never got to go to school when I was younger, so I thought that the only way I would get love was just by becoming well known by going on YouTube or any social media accounts. Turns out, all I wanted was a friend and me not experiencing the most of secondary school, I had lost out of countless opportunities I could of gotten. I’m 17 now and I’m so scared of turning 18. I don’t want to be an adult, at least not now. I felt like I barely got to experience my childhood that I would look back in terror. I wanted to be able to relate to people in my college, but I’ll never will. I had that opportunity taken away from me at 3 years old. Barely able to speak, barely able to go to school, barely able to experience life. It’s a daunting label that could of ruined my life if my parents didn’t choose to do anything about it. I knew deep down inside that I never had autism at all, but there were definitely something. This was when I found out at the age of 13 that I must have ADHD. It felt much more real since everything matches what I went through in a day to day life. Even if I do get that label taken away for good, that doesn’t erase what happened and I would have to live with that for the rest of my life. Even now, I’m still grieving over important moments that I missed such as experiencing crushes, having lasting friends, going on school trips (especially school journey) and memories that I could look back at. Maybe if I was around more people at a young age, maybe I could just eventually learn more lessons than I already know.

[amihungryorbored]

do you ever have a hyperfixation that can't be over soon enough? this one is ruining my life

[franki-lew-yo]

It means so much if you read this

It's 4 in the morning. I'm off on of my meds so I think I know why I am the way I am right now, but that doesn't make me cry any less. I can't stop crying; I WANT TO MAKE MYSELF STOP CRYING- but I feel selfish just saying that. When I get like this, the worst possible thing is to tell me "you aren't bad actually I know it so; you can do this!" and any other positive-vibes like that. That makes me feel ignored. That makes me feel even more like a burden because it makes me feel like you(whoever) is just wanting me to shut up cuz I'm ruining your vibes. And, the fact that that's the first thing that comes to comes to my mind is what's making me feel worse.

I'm crying because I have what's called Imposter Syndrome. I'm crying because I know, in my happier moments I know NOT to beat myself up...and I'm sad because that means I feel weak now. I'm crying because I can't live without seeing myself as a bad person in order to counteract me actually being a bad person <- this isn't what being self critical actually IS, but it doesn't matter. I don't know how to stop.

I'm alone. I have no one in my friend circle w my condition and no faith in my comfort zone. I'm so scared telling anyone that because I think constantly about what they'll think of me, and how the "criticism is bad"crowd will look at me and use it to justify their media criticism -> self-harm pipeline. inb4 >"well SHE'S a critical person and she's clearly not happy so yeah; media critics and cynics are always just deeply unhappy and making the rest of us feel bad, ugh stupid 'Antis' :P :P :P" I know that's not true...but it doesn't matter. People like this, people who don't have ADD and want to put the blame all on one thing and call it a day- I can't do that. It never is just one thing. If I do that with things that bother me, it destroys me. It has in the past.

I want so much to talk to people closest to me but I will always feel like I'm going to hurt them. I feel I only talk about myself anyway. I feel I'm never there for anyone else.

I want to be comfortable in my own sexuality and lifestyle but I also want healthy criticism and I don't know how to separate the two- I don't know how to not see someone ranting about their problems and NOT apply it to me. I will always feel like I am their problem, like I am their abuser.

No one taught me to think like that. It's just how I am.

I want more than anything to be understood cuz I want to be understanding myself. It feels better just to type any of this out and it really feels better having you guys read it and know this about me. I don't know how to approach people to tell them how sad I am. I know it's something you don't want to be handed in from your friend even when you are capable of hearing it at the moment-

so thank you for really listening to that.

---

I don't like my posts being completely drabby. Let me end this by saying something petty that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things:

There's two songs at my work that I hate but hear all the time and they drain my soul out of me everytime I hear them!?!? The first is this one that I think is sung by Miley Cyrus cuz it sounds like her and the reframe is "he's one of the good ones". I hate that song so much. What is this "you aren't one of THOSE ones-types?"/TERFcel garbage? If this is about a man in a relationship it just sounds unhealthy to say as the woman. If this song were about a woman it would be deeply concerning. It's bent on double standards.

The other song is this clubby bs who's main reframe goes "In the name of looooove"x4 times, but then on the 4th time the singer turns into this dubstep clubby beat. I hate it. I hate it so much. Please put on the 80s tunes again. Just once.

[depresseddepot]

It's struggle through autism symptoms hours

[taibhsearachd]

...ngl, the fact that ADD and ADHD got condensed into ADHD when the hyperactivity specifically is part of the reason so many girls were simply not diagnosed drives me up the wall.

It's not that the whole name isn't bullshit, because it is. It describes the way people outside of our experience perceive us, as opposed to the difficulties that are part of our lived experience. Even from an outside standpoint, it's recognizable that "deficit" is not always the issue with our attention... but that's beside the point.

When psychiatrists noticed that ADD and ADHD were basically the same thing... they chose to favor the typical male presentation in the literal naming of the condition, and in doing so condemned a generation of girls (and other afab people) to suffer through being told they're so smart, they just don't apply themselves enough, that it's a personal failing they can't regularly turn in homework, that they're lazy for waiting until the last minute to work on an assignment... because those girls weren't hyperactive. Those girls just kind of drifted off and daydreamed in classes. Those girls doodled or wrote stories all through their school years, and functioned measurably worse when a teacher noticed they were doing that and tried to stop them. Those girls are now so many of my adult friends who are now being diagnosed with ADHD as adults, because the hyperactive part of the diagnosis almost solely applies to children (CHILDREN, when, I might note, this is a lifelong condition) who are socialized male.

We need a whole other name for the condition, because attention deficit is not our problem at all. But my god, the hyperactivity part actually ruined my life for so many years, because I had no way to explain to my dad why it physically hurt me to be bored, why I had to read or write or doodle in class in order to keep my focus, why I excelled in tests but failed at homework so my grades sucked because of that. No one even considered I might have ADHD, all through my childhood, but earlier this year I had the opportunity to go through all my grade school reports, and they could not be MORE CLEARLY talking about a child with ADHD. "Pleasure to have in class", "assignments not complete", "does not pay attention in class", "Birdie is a highly intelligent child with specific and unique needs" (I would LOVE more follow-up on that one, from third grade, do not have it). But I was a quiet and reserved child, so obviously I couldn't have ADHD.

I'm legitimately angry about it in retrospect. I went off my Adderall for a couple months recently, as an adult who only started taking Adderall as an adult, and it completely fucked up my ability to function. For years I was just out there as a teenager struggling through high school and college entirely unmedicated because as a child I was too withdrawn to be diagnosed. Fucking wild and also infuriating.

[unoriginal-and-dumb]

INTRO POST.

Hi, im UNO

I have a lot of names you can call me any version of my username. I’m an adult artist, I’ve been drawing seriously for (checks my awesome lightning McQueen watch) 5 years and animating for about 3! I’m primarily self taught, but am currently taking some college classes. I really like cartoons, games, and anything to do with space or cosmic horror

Please don’t tag my posts as ship art unless I specify it as such

I made that infected design!! Came all the way from my head to My math homework paper. Anywhere else you see a similar design is likely inspired from mine (which is fine, it’s only kinda weird when people start crediting someone else errr…. Don’t like that)

You don’t have to read all this, it’s just some stuff about me ⬇️

I do a lot of things other than regretevator, but since it’s my current hyperfixation it kinda just takes over everything

I have special interests in dead space, alien, the thing, nine inch nails, and pizza tower. I always fall back on those with the same love as usual so don’t be surprised seeing anything like/relating/or just of those

I am diagnosed ADHD, autism too I’m very very very INCREDIBLY INSANELY quiet and awkward with 1 on 1 conversations when I don’t know the person personally, sorry guys I may as well be a brick wall though. I am also generally a very private person

I don’t normally give two fucks about sharing sexuality but I feel it does explain things. I am VERY aromantic and UNBELIEVABLY asexual. Extremely sex repulsed, and I wouldn’t say romance *repulsed* but I am maybe just one step below it. It can get pretty bad and sometimes just ruins my day unfortunately. That’s why I ask people to please never tag my posts as ship art unless I do so!!

^ I am very nitpicky with it, but I do like certain ships to a degree! I enjoy Split and Bive, The Noise and Noisette, and a few others.

My page is welcoming to everyone, except for typical Dni criteria, no proshippers no hate none of that. I just wanna post my art and idk be annoying online 😄

I have never once in my god damn life made an intro post and I have never once wanted to either. HOWEVER, a lot of people have been mixing me up with like 2 other people and I don’t like that and neither do they believe it or not.

I’m hoping that introducing myself at all will help perhaps end that!

[foggystarrs]

I loved your Glamrock headcanons! Do you by any chance have any for the DCA??

Oh most definitely!! I swear they’re some of my fav animatronics from SB & Ruin tbh

Sun:

☀︎ A sweetheart! He’s always excited to meet someone new. Especially if they’re a new friend!!

☀︎ He can never stay still ever, he always has to be doing something with his hands or feet, wether it’s swaying or flapping his hands in a happy stim!

☀︎ He tends to interrupt really easily, ESPECIALLY when he gets excited. Sometimes the adults get mad though, so he’s learned to hold himself back.

☀︎ He adores children, he always tries to find a way to make them feel comfy in the daycare. ESPECIALLY if the kid is scared of him at first. He knows he’s not for everyone though, so if his advances don’t work he watches from afar and places the kid’s favorite things near them strategically so that they’re still having a good time.

☀︎ ADHD

☀︎ Can a robot have Adhd?? I’m not sure but he’s got Adhd in my mind bc I have Adhd and I said so. He’s sooo ADHD coded.

☀︎ This man cannot sing for the life of him, he’s got a cute tune or two for clean up time when the kids have to clean their area but that’s it. If he tries to sing like the Glamrocks it sounds more like a parrot dying or something TwT

☀︎ Clean freak. The minute every kid has gone home this dude is running around yelling about cleaning up. Everything needs to be spotless and in the right spot or he will EXPLODE.

☀︎ Extrovert, he’s the type to adopt an introvert tbh. Like he can make almost anyone feel comfortable around him.

Moon:

☾ He’s actually a chill guy. Introvert, and super shy when meeting new ppl.

☾ He’s less shy around kids though, he adores kids too.

☾ Super gentle and soft spoken. I guess it’s the nap time programming in him.

☾ A great listener, will never interrupt anyone when speaking.

☾ He likes to be suspended in the air by his wire. It’s where he’s most comfortable rather than being on the ground like Sun. He’s great at moving around in the air and sometimes does cool acrobatic tricks when he’s got free time.

☾ A stickler to the rules, well, to be fair they both are but Moon is more strict about them. He is a rule enforcer after all.

Virus! Moon:

☽ This dude is a menace. He will scare the security guards and fazbear workers on purpose. Just because.

☽ Violent toward adults. Children are sometimes the exception but if you’re a rule breaker he’s putting you in… an eternal nap if you know what I mean….

☽ Anger issues. Which often lead to those violent outbursts. It started with nap time, when some kids would refuse to sleep, he would enforce the rules. After many complaints of kids getting nightmares and some even disappearing mysteriously, Fazbear entertainment decided to just stop nap time all together.

☽ Clean freak. Probably worse than Sun tbh. He HAS to clean up. Seriously, why are kids so messy? He’s still gotta put them in time out but he HAS to make sure to clean up that tower that kid just knocked down or he’ll go CRAZY.

☽ If he sees Monty it’s on sight. They’ve had beef ever since he got in the way during one of his security patrols.

☽ No seriously, like imagine two animatronics with anger issues. It will not end well.

Eclipse:

☾☼ Ambivert, can be super social sometimes and super quiet the next.

☾☼ Soft spoken and very polite, he never interrupts when someone is speaking.

☾☼ He’s very attentive to his surroundings and extremely perceptive. If something’s wrong he’ll be the first to figure it out.

☾☼ Loves singing and he can actually sing, but he prefers slower melodies than those that the Glamrocks sing. Something in between a lullaby and a ballad.

☾☼ Hopeless romantic, his guilty pleasure is watching sappy romcoms. But shhh! Don’t tell anyone!

☾☼ He, like his other counterparts, also adores children. He’s great at handling both playtime and nap time. The perfect combination of both.

☾☼ He gets lonely. Like really lonely. He tries to be optimistic but the reality always crashes in late at night. It gets even worse after RUIN. The kids will eventually come back… right?

☾☼ He also has security protocols and can be extremely protective of those he deeply cares for, especially children.

That’s it for them! The hyperfixation on FNAF is so real rn 😭

But I’m loving these requests!!

Thanks for reading~!

[depressed-simp-writes]

im still alive, and will post once i find the motivation to finish what ive started.

[sigridstumb]

Hey. Gen Xers, hey. Hey.

I want to translate a few things for you. When people, when The Youths, when they say something is traumatizing, or they have trauma, it doesn't mean what it meant when we were teens. It doesn't mean that a person is going to be nonfunctional the rest of their lives. It doesn't mean they will be institutionalized. It doesn't mean thorazine and straitjackets. It means that the person has reactions and does things that are counterproductive to the life they want to lead, and they can have therapy to fix it. When folks say they have PTSD, it doesn't mean hallucinating their way through the streets screaming until a group of huge strangers in white uniforms bundle them into a van and haul them away. It means they have trauma, see above, that is difficult to overcome completely, and they need to learn some workarounds to manage their own responses to the world. When people say that were abused, they don't necessarily mean being starved, beaten with a belt, and locked in a shed for years. They mean that their caregivers as children, or their partners as adults, the people they trusted to care about their needs and help meet those needs, did not do so. That the people they trusted to care about them broke that trust in ways that make it difficult from them to have healthy relationships now. Therapy helps with this. And if you've read this far, my dear Gen Xers, my comrades, my peers, my dudes, if you have read this far, I want you to know, you might could have some trauma too, and you can have a bit of therapy, for morale, to make your life easier.

It's okay to want to make your life easier now. It doesn't mean you deserved it, before. It doesn't mean your parents were monsters, people who are doing their best can fuck up and it's okay if those fuckups hurt you. It probably isn't going to ruin your life to ask for some help figuring things out, and if that ruins your life, well, something was fucked-up in your life that needed fixing.

Being tough and figuring shit out for yourself got you through. Past-you was a fucking champ, and they did everything they could with the tools they had to protect you and get you to where you are now. But there are better tools now. Dialectical Behavior Therapy wasn't a thing when we were kids. Nobody knew fuckall about ADHD or autism when we were kids. There are meds now, meds that WORK, for a lot of shit that we white-knuckled our way through. And, yes, you have a System now, and it mostly works, and I am so, so fucking proud of you for that. You did all of that, alone, and I am so, so very fucking proud of you.

But you can let go a bit. You can let it down. You can make your life a bit easier. You can get some help, some real help that works, now.

:fistbump:

Take care, my dudes. Take care.

[hazbinbossbrainrot]

💖 Angel Dust 💖

VOs:

Michael Kovach (pilot)

Blake Roman (series)

Theme songs:

Canon:

AU:

Fave quote:

“IT’S NOT AN ACT!!! It's who I need to be. [Crosses arms to chest.] And this... [Gestures to the redlight street.] This is my escape! Where I can forget about it all! How much I hate... Everything. A place where I can get high, and not have to think about how much it hurts. And maybe... If I can ruin myself enough in the process, if I end up broken, I won't be his favorite toy anymore. And maybe he'll let me go...”

Basics:

True name: Anthony

Surname (AU): Romano-D'Amico

Birthday: 1st of April

Sex: Male

Year of Death: 1947

Cause of Death: Drug overdose (angel dust)

Sexuality: Gay

Age: 30s (biological)

Zodiac sign: Aries ♈️

Height: 8ft (including the heels he wears)

Nationality: Italian 🇮🇹

Bed type: Submissive

Species:

• Human being (formerly)

• Sinner Demon (jumping spider)

Style of speech: Slang

<> Accent(s):

<> New Yorker (standard)

<> Italian twang (when really emotional)

Occupation(s):

• Adult film star (pornography)

• Sex worker

• Drag queen

Other:

• Unnamed mafia (formerly 💀)

Likes:

• Husk (implied)

• Drugs

• Being abrasive

• Pranks

• Getting into scraps

• Cooking

• Flirting

• The colour pink

• Monetary gain

• Italian food

• Dancing (implied)

AU:

• Duets with Husk 🤭

• Pet names

<> Except for Whorebug (which is the only one he dislikes; most likely because that’s what Valentino calls him)

• Being called by his birth name

Dislikes:

• His feet

• Losing credibility

• Valentino’s abuse

• Memorising scripts

• Niffty getting into trouble

<> Niffty handling weapons

• Anyone pointing out his facade

<> Being called fake

• How expensive drugs & alcohol cost him

• Anyone else ending up like him

• Anyone discrediting his acting

• Charlie involving herself with Valentino’s affairs

• Forecast conditions

<> confirmed but not canonically shown yet ~ Viv stated that he doesn’t like weather the same way as a dog is scared of thunder

• Politics

AU:

• Being triggered when it comes to ownership of Angel & Husk’s (respective) “owners”

• Niffty being talked about (negatively)

• Kat’s life choices

<> Her occupation of being an exotic dancer (because it hits too close to home for Angel and wished she picked a more safer career)

<> Her doing drugs

<> Her rebellion

• Being called “kid” by Husk (considering technically Angel is older than him in Hell since he died first 🤣)

• People being ageist and vindictive about his relationship with Husk

Flaws:

• Anxiety disorder (environmental)

• Drug addict

• Victim of abuse (by Valentino)

<> Emotionally

<> Sexually (SA)

<> Mentally

• Neurotic

<> Particularly when really, really REALLY pissed off

• Alcoholic

• PTSD

<> Age regression (very common in people with PTSD)

• ADHD

• Self esteem issues (emotionally)

• Physical strength

• Low Frustrated Tolerance

• Self destructive

• Nymphomania (outside of work)

• Parasomnia

<> Night terrors

<> Insomnia

<> Sleep paralysis

<> Sexsomnia 🤣

Strengths:

• High alcohol tolerance

• Carnality

• Character growth (potentially)

<> To the point where Angel Dust may even drop his alias and just become “Anthony”

• Clean (drug-free)

• Physical attractiveness

Romantic interests:

Ex-boyfriend: Valentino (indirectly implied)

<> Definitely hinted at in the song “Poison” — obviously very early into the relationship before things went severely downhill

Husk (canonically implied)

AU/RP:

Stolas of the Ars Goetia (FWB / client)

Axel White (FWB / client)

Family:

Mother: Unnamed

Father: Henroin

(older) Brother: Arackniss

(fraternal) twin sister: Molly

Other (surrogate family):

(surrogate) Sister: Charlie Morningstar

(surrogate) Daughter: Niffty 😂

(surrogate) Daughter: Crymini (TBA)

Role-play (RP):

Husband: Husk 🤭

(surrogate) Sister: Snow Dust (OC)

(bio) Daughter 1#: Kat Dust (OC)

(Future) Daughter-in-law: T.J. Buckzo

(bio) Daughter 2#: Luster Dust (OC)

Aliases:

• Angie (by Cherri Bomb)

• Mi Amore (by Valentino 🤮)

<> Angel Cakes

• Whorebug (by Sir Pentious)

<> Spider

<> Striped Freak

• My Effeminate Fellow (by Alastor)

• Angel

• Slut (by Travis)

AU:

• Anthony (by Husk 🥰)

<> Tony

<> Baby etc

<> Little Incubus

<> Baby doll / girl

<> Loser (affectionately)

<> Ant

(Given the nickname because of how antsy Angel is and can be with his ADHD ~ also for the fact that it’s hilarious that he’s a spider only to be called another insect name)

• A.D. (by T.J., Snow Dust & Blitz)

• Dad (by Kat & Luster)

• Baby girl (by Husk)

• Fratellino (by Arackniss)

Translation: “Little Brother”

<> Tony

• Romano-D’Amico (real surname)

Affiliations:

• Hazbin Hotel (patron)

• Porn Studios (workplace)

• The Vee Tower (formerly residency)

<> Not confirmed but definitely implied in the music video “Poison” and “ADDICT”

Other:

• The Black Dot (1x04)

• Consent (1x06)

Friends:

• Charlie Morningstar

• Cherri Bomb (close friend)

• Niffty

• Husk (best friend — TBA)

<> Vivziepop has previously described Husk as Angel's "best friend" during later development streams for the pilot, suggesting that their relationship may be planned to greatly improve

Others:

• Fat Nuggets (pet)

Porn Studio employees (co-workers):

<> Dia

<> Summer

<> Kitty

<> Travis (client & director)

The Vees (acquainted):

<> Vox

<> Velvette

Hazbin Hotel employees (acquainted):

<> Alastor

<> Vaggie

• Sir Pentious (former enemy)

<> Egg Boiz (former enemies)

• Tiffany Titfucker (rival)

RP:

Axel (rival —> one sided)

Enemies:

• Valentino (boss, pimp, and owner)

• Sir Pentious (formerly)

• Exorcists

<> Adam

<> Lute

Abilities:

• Retractable set of arms

• Weapon proficiency

• Weather sensitivity

• Athleticism

• Cooking

• Bilingualism

<> Can speak one or two languages only; which is much different to multilingualism)

• Flexibility

Appearance & Personality:

Angel has a slender build and is the tallest of the main cast of characters. He is estimated to stand around 8 feet with his heels on.

His fur is white and he has a mop of fluffy white hair that extends from both the front and back of his head, with splotches of light-pink across it. He also has a distinctive and focal light-pink heart pattern on the back of his head. The light-pink outline of a heart also encircles his chest, the bottom point of which extends past his waistband and down to his crotch area.

His eyelids are light pink and the color extends up to his eyebrows, giving the effect of eyeshadow, and his lashes are dark and thick.

His irises are cerise pink. His right eye has a light yellow sclera, his left eye has a dark sclera. He has a wide mouth full of sharp, pointed teeth and possesses a single golden fang that sits slightly to his right of center, a feature he shares with his boss, Valentino. He has three cerise-pink dots under each of his eyes, which are intended to evoke freckles, although they are actually another set of smaller eyes.

One of Angel's most noticeable features is his prominent chest. The chest is actually composed entirely of fluffy fur, however, which Angel intentionally pushes up into a breast-like formation with his tightly pinned jacket for show.

Angel's everyday attire consists of a long light pink suit-blazer with horizontal white stripes down the length, reddish-grey miniskirt, and long reddish-grey thigh-high heeled boots, accessorized with a reddish-grey bowtie with a cerise pink center and a black choker. On his top set of arms he wears long cerise pink gloves with white detailing at the cuffs, on his bottom set of arms he wears long white gloves.

Though usually depicted with six limbs, Angel has a third retractable set of arms that he usually keeps hidden but can summon at will.

In background artwork seen in the pilot, Angel Dust's feet resemble those of a spider's.

How would you describe Angel Dust’s personality?

• Reckless

• Sexual (OTT)

• Sarcastic

• Sharp-witted

• Destructive

• Playful

• Vulgar

• Confident (excessive)

• Flippant

• Callous

• Cynical

<> Particularly about the idea of redemption however has a small hopeful part that it’s possible for him

As Anthony:

• Defensive

• Family orientated

• Shy

<> Through copping constant abuse from Valentino which would often make him nervous in his presence

• Hopeful

• Self assertive (outside the Porn Studios contract)

• Volatile

• Comedic (genuinely)

• Inferior

<> Seen when Charlie declared Sir Pentious as “official patron” at the Hazbin Hotel

• Attentive

<> Seen when Angel Dust rejected Cherri Bomb’s offered drugs after Husk mentioned about “undoing his progress”

• Protective

• Traumatised (via “Poison” at the end)

• Broken

Trivia:

• When it comes to physical contact Angel Dust always backs away (which is common in SA victims) seen with both Husk in “Masquerade” to bring him back to the hotel and Vaggie when throwing him off the building for a trust exercise

• The more Angel Dust (Anthony) gets upset the more his (New Yorker) accent gets thicker and automatically breaks out of his persona

• If Angel Dust hadn’t died at 30 years old he would have been around the same age as Husk if not somewhere between 12 years younger

<> However Angel is actually older than Husk down in Hell because he died first (which is kinda cool)

• Angel & Charlie have a “brother/sister” relationship (both Headcanon and implied but not confirmed)

• In a earlier draft of Angel’s character it appeared that when he blushed it showed on his upper body (face and chest area)

• Blake Roman (Angel Dust’s VA in the Hazbin Hotel series) is a huge Huskerdust fan

• Angel Dust’s birthday lands on April Fools Day (which explains he loves pranks so much 🤭)

• The name Anthony may come from the word "antonia", which means "priceless/praiseworthy and or beautiful".

<> His real name officially appears in the episode "Masquerade", signed on Valentino's soul contract.

• "Angel Dust" is Angel's chosen all-encompassing persona name, and one he uses exclusively in place of his actual name. It is intended as multipurpose for both his drag queen persona and his sex-work persona.[30] It is also a possible reference to his mode of death, a drug overdose.

* Whenever Angel is outside of work and doesn't feel the need to maintain his public persona, he prefers to dress in very cozy, comfortable, unsexualized clothing.

• In an earlier development stream, when asked if Angel is venomous, Vivziepop stated she did not think Angel was venomous due to being based on the jumping spider. However, she returns to this in a later stream, stating that Angel's bite may be venomous. But, that venom in Hell can't actually kill anyone, it just causes temporary pain or disfigurement and making them fall ill.

• During the gang war with Sir Pentious, when Angel's shadow is cast behind him, it appears much larger than him, with six arms and glowing red eyes. This implies that Angel can possibly transform into a larger form like other sinner demons.

References:

https://hazbinhotel.fandom.com/wiki/Angel_Dust

[aidansplaguewind]

This isn't Aidan related but it's something that has driven me nuts for a while so I just need to get this off my chest.

Y'all need to stop using the word "ped0phile" so casually. I'm talking to a lot of people here, not my followers for the most part unless you do this.

Every time I turn around I'm seeing or hearing about someone being called a ped0phile for being attracted to or in a relationship with someone younger than they are. At first it was with people as old as 18-20. Now the number is going up.

Apparently some people are calling Chris Evans a ped0phile because his gf/fiancé/wife, or whatever the fuck she is, was 23 when they met. That is not what that is.

I'm not here to argue whether or not it's wrong in the moral sense for an older man to date a woman in her early 20s, just to be clear. I'm here because labeling that man as a ped0phile is just flat out inaccurate.

Y'all do realize that ped0philia is a very real disorder that means the person is sexually attracted to prepubescent children, right? It doesn't just mean they're sexually attracted to people who are younger than they are. (And to be clear, my use of the word disorder doesn't mean I'm excusing it any way. It IS a disorder and it's an incurable one. They can't make it stop anymore than I can stop being attracted to men. Which is why personally I feel they should all be put in a facility for life to keep children safe but that's a different debate.)

On the one hand, all you Tumblr kids wanna get mad when people throw around diagnoses like ADHD or OCD because they like things orderly, but then y'all want to change the meaning of other diagnoses to suit your own agenda. Stop doing this shit!

Being attracted to a 23 year old woman does not make a man a ped0phile in any way, shape or form. It's normal for adults to be physically attracted to other adults with adult bodies. The problem with those relationships is the mental side of things, not the physical. Older adults are going to see younger adults they find physically attractive, they just are. Anyone who says they aren't is a fucking liar. However, the adult is supposed to know that MENTALLY they are not on the same page with a 20 year old and that's why they shouldn't be in a relationship.

Stop fucking calling these people ped0s. You may not approve of their relationship, you may think it's morally wrong, but do they deserve a label as horrendous as "ped0"? No. I have kids and I can tell you there is a big fucking difference in someone being sexually attracted to my fucking 11 year old son vs when he's 20. Big fucking difference.

In general I'm just so tired of the internet deciding to cancel someone or ruin their career because they don't agree with what the person is doing. Do some people deserve to be canceled? Sure, but not everyone who lives differently than you and thinks differently than you deserves to have their life ruined because you don't agree with them.

So get out your pencils and write this down: A ped0phile is someone who is sexually attracted to children that have not yet hit puberty. They want the child to look very much like a child and nothing at all close to an adult. No body hair, no boobs, no curves, no physical development at all. It's sick and it's disgusting and it's so damn sick and so damn disgusting that I don't throw the word around lightly.

[trellia]

I think this post is a long time coming. But also, maybe 1 - someone has pointers to help and 2 - maybe someone else is struggling similarly and would like to know said pointers too.

I have been quite the recluse the past few months. From everyone, really. Why that is why I’m making this post. If you feel like I’ve been drawing away, you’re not wrong. I have. I’ve not been doing too good since… I’d say October. A lot of events have turned my world around for one, realizing what I am living in and not what I thought I was living in. That was something on its own…. At the same time, I was going through the steps to figure out if I have ADHD. I found out a couple months ago that yes, indeed, I do have ADHD.

The diagnosis was first a relief: finally, I now know there’s nothing wrong with me, I’m just wired different. However, relief soon turned into contempt. I became very, very angry. I am very angry. I just reached my 40’s. For at least 35+ years, I’ve been degraded and hurt by the people who should have protected me, understood me, especially in my childhood. Teachers, principals and parents of other children took part in this bullying campaign their children had going, only because I wasn’t following the ‘norms’. I endured trauma so great that I can barely function today.

I mean, I look at the videos of my childhood and I see it immediately: I’m not like the other kids. I’m more hyper, excited, and I just want everyone to take part in the fun, but I’m too much for it. It’s right there. I was called names by adults, and scolded for not doing things the way neurotypical people would. I was called lazy. I was told I don’t care for anyone but myself when, in fact, I have always put everyone ahead of me because I would rather see them happy than be happy myself. So you can imagine how difficult it was to hear that I am selfish and don’t care for anyone else…

I’m also angry at the current people in my life. Some of which have told me to ‘fix’ myself because I was an inconvenience they didn’t want to deal with. So I tried EVERY way to do so, and of course that didn’t work because I was trying to put bandaids on symptoms rather than help with what was the actual problem, but then when I asked for help, I was shunned away like I didn’t deserve it. I lost an entire decade (my late 20’s and my 30’s) asking myself what the hell is wrong with me, why am I such a terrible person, and why can’t I do anything right, and spending my 30’s walking on eggshells everywhere AND in the rpc because I was connection deprived and needed everyone to love me, which led to nefarious people taking advantage and hurt me further. (that’s a post for another day.)

Now here’s the main problem: I’m so angry I want to hurt someone. Not physically, but in every other way. It doesn’t matter who you are, I just want to lash out, whoever you are, friend or otherwise. An example: a friend made a new original character that is actually perfectly fine and pretty good, it’s a great OC! — but inside all I want to do is destroy that break their love for the OC and ruin it for them. Just… because. And that’s NOT okay. The good news is that I see it, I realize it. Which is why I have isolated myself. None of my friends deserve this. But I am angry. I am enraged, because I feel I’ve lost most of my life ‘fixing’ myself until I masked so hard I didn’t even realize until it slipped at 28. I know exactly when it slipped too.

Also, considering the kind of world we live in, I feel like I’ve lived past the mid-mark of my life. I’m not sure I’ll live up to 50 at this point. And it’s not fair. It’s not fair at all that I had to go through all this and still suffer. So yes, I’m very angry. But I also don’t WANT to hurt anyone. Especially not the people I care for… This is why I have not been on disco.rd. I have removed FB (because I wanted to for a long time tho lol ), tiktok… And have mostly removed myself from public spaces.

If you have pointers or ideas on how to get past that anger, please, please share. I don’t really know what to do with it. I don’t know how to tame it. And it scares me tbh. I don’t want to be like this. This isn’t me… but it’s so hard not to be angry…

So… yah: if I don’t respond on disco or otherwise, or not right away, it’s not you, I’m the one stepping away so I won’t say something I really don’t mean just for the sake of harming someone because I can’t accept what has been done to me.

If you read this far, thank you. Otherwise, here’s the jinx of it:

tldr; I was officially diagnosed with ADHD and realized I’ve been treated terribly by my peers because of it and shunned away when I asked for help, so now I’m extremely angry at everything and want to hurt someone (anyone) though I don’t really want to. How do I get over this?

[thestobingirlie]

I love reading fics where Steve is disabled, be it hard of hearing, seizures, chronic migraines, like he's had too many concussions not to have any issues from it. (I think its because I have a neurological disability and Steve is my comfort character, so projecting.)

But something that really gives me the ick is I've noticed a lot more ST fic recently have been handling disabled characters in a really ableist way (100% not all, just noticed more) and quite often they're just infantilising the disabled characters. I've noticed this the most when Steve is disabled, because I mostly read Steve-centric fics, but I have also noticed it with Robin and Eddie.

I've been seeing a lot of other characters addressing Steve and Robin as if they were toddlers when they are written as disabled, in ways that no adult should speak to anyone who is over the age of 5. Especially when Steve is written in a post-seizure state, or Robin is having a panic attack. Like, they might not be fully aware, but they are not children.

Sometimes, its other characters treating Steve as if he is incapable of doing anything on his own if he is disabled. As if the only things he can do without constant supervision is lie in bed or sit on a couch and watch tv. I saw one fic where others scolded him for getting out of bed to go to the bathroom without asking for help, and it wasn't as if he was recently injured or fresh out of a seizure, he was in pretty good health aside from being at risk of seizures.

With Robin, I've seen her written as if she needs to be treated like a fragile 2 year old otherwise she is in a constant state of panic attack and is always totally useless, and I've seen people use this sort of attitude to write her out of the high stress situations. Or she will just always go off on unrelated tangents so she isn't useful because she interrupts the people who know what they're talking about. Or she's written as if her rambling is a liability and she can't be trusted because if she got caught she'd 100% tell the bad guys everything.

And with Eddie I've noticed some people who write him as autistic (I love autistic and ADHD Eddie) seem to have him just constantly biting people like he is a nonverbal three-year-old who has figured out that their easiest way to communicate is by using their teeth. And it always with the attitude "it doesn't matter if he hurts people by biting them because it is his method of self-regulating."

(And no, I do NOT accept the billy stans who claim that it is ableist to talk about the bad things he's done. like, no that man is not canonically disabled (I've seen billy stans say he is canonically bipolar or has bpd? Like no.), he is canonically racist and abusive. even if he was canonically disabled that isn't an excuse for his behavior. also, I know people that have bipolar or bpd, and they arent racist and abusive. in fact they are some of the most careful people about what they can control of their behavior because they are worried about becoming abusive to their loved ones).

sorry this is really disjointed and probably doesn't make much sense but I just needed to get it off my chest. and I just love your blog!

and i love you, random tumblr user! but yeah, always feel free to just drop thoughts into my inbox, i’ll try and sort through them lmao

i enjoy reading fics where steve’s injuries have repercussions too. though it definitely isn’t always written well.

i think because the duffers ignore his injuries so much, people kinda go into hyperdrive and over-acknowledge them, almost. i think it also comes from wanting steve to be as angsty as possible, which means people don’t treat his disability’s very… nicely? they usually just use his conditions to ruin his life and make him miserable, and infantilise him, like you said.

i honestly think people just know fuck all about seizures, and cannot be bothered to look it up, but still want steve to experience them so they can make him as sad and depressed as possible.

they see seizures as this, like, life-ending condition, and so use them to kinda destroy steve’s life.

i think a lot of people also use his disabilities to get steve cared for, because we all want people to take care of the poor boy. but again, they just over-do it, and make it seem like he’s a little baby that can’t do anything.

i honestly don’t think most of these people are doing this from a place of harm. i think they honestly want to depict steve experiencing these things and being comforted etc. they’re just kinda ignorant.

i am very lucky that i haven’t seen fics that treat robin like that, because i honestly think i’d explode lol.

and yeah, the biting thing was kinda funny at first, and then it got kinda weird… people just see a fandom joke and do what fandoms always do, which is drag it out, and make it so extreme it’s barely recognisable as the original idea.

(yeah, with no character should you excuse their actions with a mental illness. like, billy’s abuse explains why he is the way he is, but it doesn’t excuse it. even when you have a mental illness you can’t just use that as an excuse to treat people like crap, and they’re entitled to call you out for doing so.)

[meanlizard]

Hey everyone. This is a random post for me but my little brother was recently arrested. He just turned 18 this February and had two warrants in another state he didn't know about.... Crimes that he committed when he was under 17 years old, traumatized, having been kicked out of school bc he couldn't afford ADHD medication, surrounded by bad influence, and without any parental support that could help him. He's such a talented kid with hobbies ranging from fishing and fixing cars to tarot and art.

He had just gotten a real adult job this year, moved in with his girlfriend and two cats, and was planning on beginning a real life for himself. He said once he gets out and over probation, he would like to propose to his girlfriend.

I'm also sharing this on Reddit threads but if y'all could share this around I would appreciate it. This GoFundMe is for his legal fees so that we can hopefully get him the support he needs to be released asap. He doesn't deserve to have his life ruined because of decisions he made as a poor, black kid with barely any support outside of his grandma.

Thank you all in advance.