#aka they were suffering and were going to die anyways

[pwurrz]

the misinformation about no kill shelters fills me with burning rage ahahahaha

[cursedvibes]

I think Yuuji getting through to Megumi and finding out he has no will to live anymore would've been more impactful if we saw more of him during his possession than the three panels stretched over nearly 40 chapters where he's always just lying on the floor crying.

We initially get input that he's trying to fight back against Sukuna after he was hit with Jacob's Ladder, but then he's essentially just a footnote. "Btw, Megumi is somewhere in there and he's suffering." But we don't really see it.

I think it all comes down to that the moment that really broke him, the Yorozu vs Sukuna fight, should've given him more focus and Tsumiki. If that moment really hit and we saw him give up, his lack of presence for the rest of the chapters wouldn't be such a big problem.

The Yorozu fight was really just focused on her and Sukuna and their history. You get a mention that Sukuna is doing this to break Megumi and oh no, Tsumiki would die too, but really it's about Yorozu's character and Sukuna learning to handle 10 Shadows. Everything is about them, their jokes and then as a last addition we get "oh yeah, Megumi is sad because someone who has his sister's face died". Everything is already over at that point there is no tension, we don't feel with Megumi because the focus is on other people who vaguely look like him and Tsumiki. Looks are the only real connection to the sibling drama here and I think Yorozu and Sukuna don't even look that much like them. That should've been better balanced.

Take Yuuji's breakdown in Shibuya for example. That makes him want to die as well and throw everything away. We're there with him, how he goes through briefly raised hopes to crushing defeat, how his face distorts as he sees Nanami and Nobara die before him. He's going through anger, fighting with grit teeth for as long as he can until he just curls in on himself and wants to die like his friends. We hear his thoughts, we can emphasize with what is happening. Even when he finds out what happened while Sukuna took over, we see the memories swarm his mind, he desperately clutches his head, claws at the ground, throws up. It's utterly heartbreaking. And that is because we experience it with Yuuji. We don't just cut to him lying on the floor unresponsive and that's the only feedback we get to his emotional state, not even some thoughts.

Megumi clearly saw or felt what happened while Sukuna was in control of his body (I mean, if we didn't have the editor comment like in the volume release you could also think the Bath just numbed him, but I'm not gonna be that picky here). So show him struggle during the fight against Yorozu aka the body of Tsumiki. Show his reaction to being rendered mute and powerless, unable to even lift a finger to hinder Sukuna. Show me his thoughts, he clearly has them. Show me how he eventually came to just give up and wait for death. Just something, anything. All of this I mentioned I am just inferring, we don't get to go through his emotional journey that is clearly very important to the story. All we see is the aftermath with no additional context and then nothing for another 20 chapters or so.

For that matter, show me Tsumiki, if there's anything left of her at all. That is who Megumi tries to fight for after all and she's a victim in all this too. She might've gone through the same things Megumi did, she might've experienced similar pain, but we simply don't know. What would Megumi even be fighting for? Was Tsumiki just dead or gone ever since Yorozu woke up in the hospital or did she witness what was going on as well? Was the Yorozu fight just pointless in that regard because clearly Tsumiki was long gone anyway and Sukuna is essentially just burying a dead body? This fight could've actually been quite dramatic. It claimed to be that due to Megumi and potentially Tsumiki suffering in the background, but it was in the end completely inconsequential. Sukuna and Yorozu would've fought anyway, if Megumi and Tsumiki were there or not, and Yorozu would've always lost. Since except for some throwaway lines and the end panel there isn't really any acknowledgement of the emotional stakes, they fall completely flat. It's about Yorozu and her understanding of love and also a bit about Sukuna's backstory and all this is nice and interesting, I certainly enjoyed it, but this should've laid the groundwork for what is happening to possessed-Megumi as well.

Same with the Gojo fight. Was Megumi effected at all by seeing Gojo there, was he affected by what Gojo said, his disregard for Megumi's body that made Yuuji and Hana question if he even cared? Did he feel anything when Gojo died? Was he still capable of sensing what was going on outside at all or did he sleep through all that. For that matter, how did those 5 Unlimited Voids affect him? His brain should be toast by all accounts. Did he blame Gojo for anything? This could've added some much needed emotional stakes and depth to the Gojo vs Sukuna fight, but again, we don't see anything, just a repeat shot of Megumi crying on the floor.

Megumi went through some pretty significant character development and I assume that is going to go even further now that Yuuji has made contact, but that all happened off-screen. Especially "Tsumiki's" death and its impact should've been shown to lay the groundwork for what happens now. All we got so far is: what happened made him sad. Like yeah sure, I can imagine, but can't we get more than that? That's like skipping the majority of Shibuya except for Nanami and Nobara's deaths and then going right to Yuuji lying on the floor and Todo giving his inspirational speech without showing us even a hint of all the struggle and emotional turmoil Yuuji experienced in the meantime.

I'm not even a Megumi fan, it's just something I noticed while reading. Honestly, the last 30 chapters or so I pretty much forgot about Megumi. Yes, I want Yuuji to save him, but as for Megumi himself my thoughts were always just "well, I guess he's doing badly, who knows". It was all very abstract and hypothetical when it didn't need to be.

[bargainbinwizard]

What the fuck is wrong with you Israel

I've been pretty silent on the Israel and Gaza war for a long time but it's come to a point that I needed to get magically involved. It's an ugly situation all around. Israel mass murdering Palestinians,Hamas being a thing, Antisemites coming out of the woodwork,Israel booting people from their land and people saying that Israel as a country should cease to exist...even though Jews were native to Israel (aka Canaan) but got conquered by the Babylonians and Romans in ancient times and so as a consequence, they were spread out across the globe getting shat on by everybody in history. But I can't even say that Israel is defending themselves from Hamas because they're too busy fucking around in the Gaza strip shooting down people getting flour.

I'm just going to make it very clear that just because I say that Israel as a country should exist ✨DOES NOT MEAN THAT I SUPPORT ISRAEL KILLING PEOPLE OR THEIR CRUELITY TOWARDS THE PALASTINIANS ✨. I don't want anybody popping onto my page to villainize me and putting words in my mouth. I may not have the funds to save the entirety of Gaza but that doesn't mean I haven't been donating. Also I do my Gaza/Israel reblogging on my main blog,this is just a side blog. That's why you haven't seen anything here. I don't want to hear from any of you that I'm secretly rubbing my hands evilly and cackling watching Israel bomb Rafah.

In short, fuck nazis and people who think that being an antisemite makes you a hero. Go do something useful with your time like donate to Gaza charities like a normal person, would you?

Anyway, in terms of my magical work. I've been focusing on trying to get the news channels on tv to talk about what kind of nasty shit Israel soldiers have been doing in Gaza. There's pictures and videos on the internet from the Palestinians being killed,Israel soldiers talking pictures of themselves on children's' bicycles that they've stolen,olive trees being destroyed and so on and so forth. Yet, the only thing the news wants to focus on is Hamas and making Israel looking like the good guy. If I can get get the news to talk about Israel's war crimes and the corruption in the Israel military /government with pictures then I've done my job. Well,I may need to create a peace spell to somehow make Israel and Gaza stop fighting. Not sure what spell components I need to use.

Its also pretty shitty that there are so many fundraisers to get people out from Gaza and to give people aid that I don't have the funds to save everybody,just give people a measly 20 dollars while their fundraiser goals are several thousand dollars. And if I donate to one charity, I'm not donating to the others and that means they'll have to suffer. I don't have the wallet of Mr. Beast or Bill Gates. I can't save everybody and they might die before they reach their fundraiser goals. And more fundraisers are going to pop up.

EDIT: Added some links. I made it fair by talking about both Hamas and Israel.

[cawdra]

Good question, @avvielalame-blog

GATHER 'ROUND, FOR I HAVE A STORY TO TELL ABOUT MY WEIRD HOSPITAL OPIOID TRIP THAT MADE ME HALLUCINATE NEW GOOD OMENS EPISODES:

Last year I went to the hospital. It was some cyst (idk the medical lingo), and it was painful af. They gave me some sort of strong opioid (again, no idea what the medical lingo is, but I think it was Buprensomethingsomething). Mind you, I was on antidepressants and anti-anxiety meds, but I hadn't taken them for almost a week, cuz I couldn't get out of my bed the whole time (before I eventually went to the hospital). I told them I was off that medication, and because the prescription is pretty old, they gave me the painkillers. TURNS OUT THE FUCKING MEDS WERE NOT OUT OF MY SYSTEM YET!!! So uhhh... yeah.

(If you don't know, mixing these two things can be very dangerous because they can raise dopamine levels too high or something, which is INCREDIBLY DANGEROUS!!! I'm a pretty large person, so this didn't hit me that hard (and also I was off the meds for longer than 24 hours), but if I was slightly less of a fatass and more of a responsible medicine taker, I might have actually been comatosed.)

Anyway, I was riding high that night. I didn't have anything else to do, so after seeing a good omens edit, my first thought was, "That seems gay. I'm in." So I turned on Prime and watched it all in one night. It's not like I was going to sleep in a ward full of screaming people anyway, so might as well make the most of it. The nurses told me to sleep, but I told them I wasn't sleepy, so they just gave me my antibiotics and, whatever else, took my temp and walked out. Did they care about the gay shit I was watching on my phone? No, they've seen worse.

Anyway, I watched the show, ugly cried for like an hour (harder than I did from the cyst that was torturing me for about a week), and then went to sleep at around 2 pm. When I woke up, I, as a responsible queer, decided to rant about it to my friends. After telling them all those things, one of my friends (who actually watched the show with his sister) said, "Are you sure the anesthesia didn't scramble your brain, cuz none of that happened lol."

When I tell you I was DEVISTATED!!! Literally a "You... you serious?" moment. Cried almost as much as I did at the ending.

Also, if you want to know: I had a dream about how the Ineffable Husbands teamed up with some nun (who was as much of a nun as she was a saint - only on a technicality) and they made her carry the Second Coming, which eventually got her kicked off the nunnery of whatever cuz 'These days, if you get pregnant as a nun, you won't be called ‘The Virgin Sarah’ or ‘The Virgin Linda’. You will be called ‘a common whore’. So much for being a virgin.' (Quote from my fanfic (and the weird opioid trip).

I don't know what the rest of the dream was because Mr. Party Pooper (aka my friend JK Juno ily (^з^)-☆) cut me off because I was talking nonsense.

Long story short, the painkillers got out of my system, I took my meds, renewed the prescription, and went on my still-on-going recovery journey.

Did I suffer two heartbreaks in less than 12 hours? Yes. Were they worth it? Eh. I mean, it inspired my fanfic, but wasn't THAT worth it. Did I enjoy my trip? No, I threw up, had diarrhea, and then constipation for two weeks.

I still get an awful surprise when I rewatch Good Omens for a specific scene, only to find out AGAIN that I was just hallucinating.

Moral of the story - don't do drugs and be honest with your doctors and nurses cuz you might actually die.

Anyways, TOODLES!!1!!111!!!

~ CAwdra

[raisedbythetv89]

Absolutely bat shit crazy that the pilot of Veronica Mars literally starts with the messaging that Veronica is in the place of:

“life’s a bitch, and then you die”

for her interpretation of the reading they’re doing but the teacher says the interpretation is actually about how:

“we power through life’s defeats by our faith in a better life yet to come”

aka we have HOPE that no matter what has happened there is ALWAYS a chance for things to get better at any point in time.

So, it starts by showing Veronica is in a very cynical, hopeless, defeated place (totally understandable for her to view the world that way) and the teacher is acting as the perspective outside of our tiny blonde narrator saying that isn’t true, the world outside of Veronica’s current reality is one of hope. So even though she personally feels hopeless at that moment doesn’t mean all is truly lost.

BUT THEN HOW DOES ROB DECIDE TO END THE WHOLE THING???

With Veronica basically being exactly in the same place she was when we met her!! Recently lost her home and her best friend and burying herself in taking care of her dad and work. With Neptune’s classism and corruption only getting worse. Sending the message to the viewers nothing you do matters because things will never change. And yeah we see her go to Logan’s therapist which should be seen as change and progress that this time that ONE THING is different but it honestly doesn’t mean anything to me given what they did to her character in season 4 making her cold and heartless basically erasing any character growth she’s had over the last 15 years. She didn’t need one more horrifically bad thing to happen to her and Logan’s constant pestering to get her to start healing that should have happened organically over those 15 years because the amount of trauma she had ABSOLUTELY would have caught up to her before season 4 and forced a change well before then!!

So yeah literally the pilot tells us there IS reason to hope despite how Veronica feels and how things may seem and then the finale was the polar opposite of that messaging basically telling us life is a bitch and it’s just suffering but you have to keep going anyway cuz that’s what “strong people” like Veronica do….. like ummmm NO ROBERT NO SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU DID.

It should have ended on the hopeful note season 1 did with Veronica and Lilly together feeling peace that they found answers and found her killer and that Veronica and her dad’s instincts were right and that the truth CAN prevail despite all odds, but Rob never lets us have nice things and that is why I will hate him forever until the rest of time

[florsial]

any thoughts on walburga? 🤗

Ask was so exciting I had to properly get ready for the day just so I could answer while eating breakfast. Thank you <3

Anyways! I'm sorry but so much of her thoughts just stem from her relationship to Sirius and Regulus. IM SO SORRYYYY

I feel like I should clarify. I'm not, in anyway universe, going to defend her.

The most important thing to me is that I believe the entire Black family did love each other, but they were all fucked over as kids so it never translated properly to the next generation. I definitely think a major cause of Walburga and her relationship with her children stems from postpartum depression that just never got talked about within the family. And I don't think she ever felt forced into her marriage, I think out of everyone in the family, she and Orion got along best (best: they weren't actively trying to do damage to each other). There was kind of an understanding between them that leads to them ignoring each other more so than yk screaming and hurting each other. I do believe it was because they were the closest related ones that were married.

I think with Sirius, it was a feeling of, "Well this doesn't feel as nice as I thought" and she just wasn't given a chance to properly bond before he was sent to China to live with Orion's parents. I do believe she tried, but by the time he was heading into Hogwarts, she just couldn't be around him without being frustrated at everything he was doing, his voice was annoying, and every time he did something there was always the thought of "The audacity of him" and all those feelings leaked into her lessons she would have to teach him which lead to there being more pressure placed in Sirius. But he's her son so she's always going to have this: "I love you, but I don't like you" mindset with him. Walburga would die for Sirius if she could, but she would never talk to Sirius without berating him and harming him in some way. Even in canon, she was pretty sad about him leaving so there was some love between them, it just got fucked over.

Unlike with Sirius, she had Regulus for a little longer before he was taken to China, so there was a bit of a relationship that was formed. Regulus is her golden child. I think in a trans-Regulus situation, there is a sense of "Someone just like me" from Walburga and she loves him for it. But in a cis Regulus situation, I definitely think it would be like a "mama's boy" type of thing where she kinda projects her "ideal husband" onto him (aka emotional incest) (it's disgusting but I can't unsee it honestly). Either way, Walburga would be so much more open to Regulus and there would definitely be an emotional parentification situation which plays into why Regulus wouldn't want to leave the family for the longest time. She was always so much sweeter to Regulus because he listened to her and he made the effort to not fight back against anything because, to Regulus, Walburga was suffering from loneliness, she was lonely and miserable, and her childhood was a mess on it own (once again generational trauma). She makes it clear that she does love both Sirius and Regulus, but only Regulus would've ever hear it. And from Regulus' neglected mind, love would be a good excuse for everything and anything.

She and Orion were never physically abusive. Just neglectful and scary when angry (but her actions are balanced out in Regulus' head). She had a hard time expressing herself, which was why it's so important to Regulus when she does talk. She's lonely. She's a horrible mother but loves her children. She misses her brothers but hates how Cygnus has turned into their father and how Alphard didn't give two shits about their family (not true, he just knew when something was a lost cause) (I like to think Walburga and Alphard parallel Sirius and Regulus a lot). She had a chance to break the cycle but didn't and it'll haunt her for the rest of her days. She'll spend the rest of her life in Grimmauld wondering what went wrong while ignoring the clear answer. She'll take her last breath and feel robbed of her happy ending and the fruits of her suffering. Also, I do want to add: that she's fully aware she's a terrible mother. It's a highlight of what makes her a terrible person, she's fully aware and doesn't change!

Also, she's definitely the type of mother to brush her kid's hair so far back, slick with no gel type of thing with those painful ass hair ties that have charms on the ends that you would wrap around the ponytail and smack your nails so HARD ITS FUCKING HURTS OMG. I just know when she was doing Regulus and Sirius' hair they were crying out on the inside.

[hailstorm1816]

Why does the bsd Fandom make chuuya so soft. I always see in fanfics when people write angst about chuuya they always make it about Dazai. In some of the ones I read, they would make it that Dazai was just using Chuuya for his own pleasure or some other gross stuff that. I honestly hate this because it goes against Chuuya's whole character, and on top of that, Chuuya has had a lot worse happen to him. (Beyond this point, there will be spoilers for the 15 arc and Stormbringer) First of all, in Stormbringer, it is stated that the sheep found chuuya literally STARVING under a bridge. He was then kinda forced to lead a whole group and risk his life for them over and over so they could survive (I know Chuuya likes fighting and that he was loyal to the sheep but it was fucked up how he was used by them because of his strength and forced to be their "king" especially since he was a literal kid) He was then stabbed by those people that he protected with his life, over a misunderstanding. Going back to Stormbringer, after a successful year in the mafia with a group named the flags, his brother ,that he didn't know about, pulls up and starts killing everyone he cares about (aka the flags). He then witnesses some of his only friends die and now has to make sure that other people he loves dearly don't get slaughtered. Not long after that, he finds out that he is a clone and sees another version of himself melt in his arms. The same scientists that were studying him then started tourtouring him in the name of science. While this is happening, he hallucinats and sees the flags again and is reminded of his recently gained trauma while being shocked from the inside. And once again, he risks his life for all of Yokohama and uses corruption for the first time to fight his long-lost brother. And BTW, stormbringer only took course over a few days, and the betrayal of the sheep only happened a year before that. The saddest thing about all of this, in my opinion, is that Chuuya still forgave everyone no matter how much suffering they put him through. Also, I'd like to point out that despite chuuya not being suicidal, he does risk his life all the time and doesn't even think twice about it like in dead apple when he used corruption. I'm sorry about my rant, but I've really wanted to write about this for a long time, and I wasn't expecting it to be this long. Anyway, I hope you all have a nice day/night and make sure to take care of yourself.

[m2kdj-waist-connoisseur]

ORV aka one of the greatest love stories I've ever read

The title says it all, our beloved novel is one of the greatest love stories written and it doesn't belong to the romance genre (as far as I know anyway).

I won't go in to heavy detail but this has a lot of spoilers (you've been warned)

I see ORV as a love story of many.

It's a love story of a man whose love for reading webnovels consumed his life, became his reason to keep moving forward, his reason to survive, his reason to protect and his reason to die. He valued the lives of characters more than his and deemed his suffering minor compared to theirs. He would throw his life away, even trying to take it with his hands, if it meant they would live happily because he wanted them to be happy (even if he couldn't be part of that hapiness).

The love story of a writer that wrote for a single reader even when it seemed impossible. A writer that would sacrifice the world for her reader if it meant he would survive and live to see another day.

A love story between a sword and shield. They were brought together because of a reader, fought together, suffered together and inevitably separated by their memories of said reader.

A love story between a mother and child with common enemies known as 'shared suffering', 'lack of comunication' and 'misunderstanding'. The mother that sacrificed her life for her son, that sold her life story in hopes of protecting him, that treasured every story he told when he visited and was hurt that a fictional character was the one her son loved most but grateful said character helped him survive when she couldn't. The son that felt betrayed by his mother and came to resent her but fought with all he had to keep her alive and well.

The love story of a protagonist that lived for his companions. A protagonist that sacrificed his limbs, mind and life to protect the people he cared about. He was ready to become a demon king, fated to die at the hands of his companions, if it meant they would get to the conclusion. A man that loved his sister and wished to protect her with all he had even when she appeared in his life without any warning.

The love story of companions that would forsake their comfort, cross world lines and give up all they had to save each other. They found strength in hope and when they were out of hope, they became each others' strength and reason to keep going.

*falls to my knees* THERE'S SO MUCH LOVE IN THIS NOVEL I CAN'T TYPE IT ALL

I'll just end this with some of my favourite quotes (I spent an hour searching for these babies)

"Kim Dokja had learned how to live from this man. This man was my father; my brother; and my oldest friend."

"This story is for just that one reader."

"That man is the world I wish to save."

"Even then, you only chose to read and nothing else. ...Because that is our way of living. You acted, and I read you doing it."

"Not everything can be expressed in sentences."

"I just wanted to say it once. I don't think I've ever told you before."

"I love you, Heewon-ssi."

"If this story can really save you...If you regained just a litle of your memories and remember us just one more time...Then I'l keep writing the epilogue for you until the end of time, for eternity."

"I lost the safety pin. I thought that I shouldn't lose it again."

"Tell me, you fool. If I continue to regress, will I ever get to meet you again?"

"I looked at Yoo Jonghyuk's miserable face and thought: Don't worry Yoo Joonghyuk. I'll do the rest. You stop and rest."

"Demon King of Salvation. I shall pray that you may continue to exist somewhere, too."

"Just because I will forget about them, that doesn't mean they'll suddenly stop existing. They definitely continue to live in this world."

"Yoo Joonghyuk smiled faintly."

"If you get a chance to run again, do you believe you can see it better the next time?"

"Because of your story, I was able to survive until now."

"Even then, this was the story Kim Dokja dearly wished to create."

"And fortunately enough, this story happened to be the one I loved the most."

"In the end, to every human being, the most precious thing was themselves. And Kim Dokja risked everything of his, always."

[talesfrommedinastation]

My redneck neighbor Doug watches 'The Bad Batch': Tipping Point

It's pretty darn clear that Doug's love of Daddy Warcrimes runs hard and it runs deep, along with his love for Toaster Strudel and Rex, who is the Daddy of Daddies. So you KNOW this episode made him a happy smiley boy.

For as grumpy and grouchy as 'Pabu' made him (and his extremely weird pairing of Mayday and Phee, which haunts me to this day), the amount of smiley faces and emojis I got in this one was the polar opposite. Or maybe that's because the Crimson Tide lost that day. Who knows.

Onto the Doug commentaries of 'Tipping Point' aka 'THE WRATH OF TOASTER STRUDEL'.

CW: "Call your momma if you wanna read my comments, I guess. Shouldn't the kids be watching that Australian dog show, anyway?"

----

Well, it’s a cloudy gross day in wherever. Is this to remind us that Daddy Rambo and the other two clowns are partying in Daytona while everyone else is suffering? I’m still mad OH HOLY HELL IS THAT JORGE?!

It is Jorge! And oh no it’S BLOND JACKASS’S BROTHER. God damn it, do they only hire the children of the corn to run this damn Empire, what the hell. I hope they’re not going to die, I’m still mad about Sassy Park Ranger.

Okay, they’re going out–woah! What’s this? Space battle? With the old school bloop-bloop noise, that’s great.

WHAT, YES! IT'S TOASTER STRUDEL! AND REX! Wait, no, that’s not Rex–who is that? Oh! It’s Jorge’s cousin, Manny! Hell yeah! And his new best friends he picked up from outside of Miami, no doubt doing some weird survival camp in the Everglades, based on their camo gear and grunts. I’ll call ‘em Trigger and Nutsy, for now. 

RAIN HELLFIRE ON THEM, TOASTER STRUDEL! Pretend it’s yo daddy that left yo convection oven momma!

CLENCH YOUR BUTTHOLE AND BITE THE PILLOW, BLOND JACKASS’S BROTHER, YOU ABOUT TO FEEL THE WRATH OF TOASTER STRUDEL AND HIS TEAM OF FLORIDA MEN. 

Holy SHIT, where has THIS SHOW BEEN?! I feel like a little kid watching Star Wars again! This is awesome! Kick everyone’s ass, Trigger and Nutsy! I mean, Jesus, they’re wiping the floor with them! I almost feel bad for the troopers, but they work for the Empire, shoot ‘em and let God sort ‘em out.

Manny remembered his electric bocce ball, love the guy. Go Toaster Strudel, go! 

Seriously, I could watch Toaster Strudel shoot assholes and take over ships and bark orders at Trigger and Nutsy all day, forget dumpster diving with Church Lady and the gang looking for James Franco’s arm in Utah, THIS IS THE SHOW I WANT TO SEE!

(Hold on, my wife is yelling at me to calm down. I should’ve watched this at work on my phone, but I figured I’d watch it on the TV instead while drinking some Abitas. The last two episodes were not good for my blood pressure. )

10/10 would recommend to chug while watching Copy Paste Bois kill.

“Where are you taking those clones” man, Trigger is FIRED UP, and oh there goes BLOND JACKASS’S BROTHER KILLING HIMSELF ON SCREEN. And look at ol’ Nutsy, saving Jorge and handing him guns! Oh Jorge is so happy to see his militia boo and know his cousin Manny’s got his back. God damn I am smiling so much right now. 

Welp, Toaster Strudel can’t download shit, must be the old Limewire acting up. BLOND JACKASS’S BROTHER was probably downloading porn onto the ship’s mainframe and the FBI caught ‘em in the act. The ship was clearly manned by Millenials. 

Uh oh, Empire’s here! With the music! Seriously, I feel like a kid again screaming at the theater in Lafayette. Toaster Strudel and Jorge’s cousins escape! Go, go, go! My boys, my boys! Go!

Oh, man, Dr. Meat Muffin, I am a happy old man right now. So happy. 

And they’re safe with Sonic Special, she’s getting them drinks and figuring out there’s shit going down in the place. Man, we need more of her and Toaster Strudel. If this is all we are getting from either of them, I’ll find the director’s front lawn and take a dump on it. MORE TOASTER STRUDEL PLEASE 

Back in Daytona. Is it bad this place is starting to piss me off? I don’t CARE how pretty it is, I want people kicking ASS and taking NAMES and taking DUMPS on front lawns. At least Julio’s fishing and having fun. Did he just catch an Asian carp? 

Woah! Ryan-from-Accounting clearly wants to die, as he’s got Little Orphan Blondie behind the wheel of the HMS Search Warrant and she’s flinging them across the sky. His bitch wife Laura must have found the posts online that Church Lady did of her and Ryan-from-Accounting, or maybe he got some extra life insurance. Who knows. 

And there’s TOASTER STRUDEL! I love this bald bastard so much! Look at him hugging Little Orphan Blondie! Talking business with Ryan-from-Accounting! Shaking hands with Daddy Rambo! All after he took down an imperial ship and saved Jorge and his brothers! I bet he even brought some gas station chicken for everyone too! When does HE get his own show?! 

Ryan-from-Accounting takes us to his true love, his Windows computer. Maybe he’ll show us his downloaded copies of that show from Japan with the screaming people and the aliens and no one wears a shirt. 

(You mean Dragonball Z? -Dr MM

I guess? My nephew won’t stop watching it since he lost his job. - Doug) 

That computer loves him more than both Church Lady and his bitch wife Laura combined, I bet. Which is okay, Church Lady’s true love is Sassy Park Ranger, he’ll be back someday.

“When will it be enough?” Oh can it and get a job, Daddy Rambo, don’t knock my boy Toaster Strudel like that. He’s a hard working man. 

Oh man, Ryan-from-Accounting is panicking. Daddy Warcrimes is being held prisoner by weirdos, led by Ryan-from-Accounting’s bitchy stepsister, Beth, and Jimmy-the-Scientist. 

“We don’t leave our own behind.” Why does this feel like a set up and Daddy Rambo is going to leave Ryan-from-Accounting behind at a Circle K or something? 

Man, even coked out of his mind Daddy Warcrimes can take a clutch of folks down. Why do these scenes remind me of that show with Ed Harris and cowboys and robots?

Westworld?

Yeah that. Oh man, Daddy Warcrimes. I like those grey jammies on him. Oh man, it’s torture time. If this goes right back to Daddy Rambo’s gang having a kegger I’m serious, I’m taking a dump on the director’s lawn. 

Now he’s getting lectured by Ryan-from-Accounting’s stepsister, Beth. She hates Ryan-from-Accounting because he has friends and she’s stuck in the 9-to-5 working in a place that looks like it smells like mildew and ass. 

(“Where did you come up with the name Beth?”

“She looks like one, and she only drinks almond milk lattes and is a total bitch to waiters. She introduced Ryan-from-Accounting to his Bitch Wife Laura, they were sorority sisters in Alpha Amma Bitcha”)

Ahhh shoot them all, Daddy Warcrimes! Oh, now there’s gas. Is the Joker going to show up? I need Prince doing the soundtrack now. Will the internet get that reference? Michael Keaton was the best Batman.

Oh shit man no, it’s Jimmy-the-Scientist! I wanted the Joker :( 

What’s going to happen next? Are they going to rescue Daddy Warcrimes?! What’s Stepsister Beth up to?!

(I gave up correcting Doug on Mayday and Phee. Just gave up. - Dr MM) 

[comfysofti]

Starting my day with more rambling about my madcom au characters

This time talking about my favourite(although probably one of the most tragic) character, aka Host :33

(Part 2 out of 20-something parts of me talking about characters in my madness combat au)

Character trope: doomed to die or suffer in every timeline, from alive weapon to their own person

Metaphors/comparisons: "parasite and the infected"

A bit of explanation who Host even is, before i dive in more about them:

Host is Deimos' body. What happened to Deimos then? Well, during experiments (from which he became bat hybrid) he tried to escape despite his extremely weak state, but failed, and got killed on the way, his consciousness was turned into(rather unstable) ai that's now trapped inside a laptop, and needs someone to constantly monitor him, and this is where Host comes in!

After this whole situation was brought to Auditors attention, he decided that fuck that, and revived Deimos' body so it'll take care of Deimos(who is extremely unstable ai mind you). In exchange for fire that grants Host live, all their feelings, emotions, bodily sensations ect, was taken away. They're supposed to be a weapon, a shield for Deimos, so why need feelings and emotions, right? Also, after seeing how great Host was in battle, Auditor was considering using him for his own benefit in the future, and since Host couldn't feel a thing in all ways imaginable, he thought it'll be easy to get him under the control(spoiler: it's not)

A bit about how they look: as mentioned, Deimos was a bat hybrid, and Host obviously has bat features. Those being the bat wings and ears, ironically so, those are only physical indicators of them being a bat hybrid! But they also have a lot of stitches all over them(their fingers, eye, neck, chest ect) and their wings are severely broken and torn, and all this from being killed. Not nice

Now, going over the whole "parasite and infected" part of their character. Deimos and Host are connected, in, rather interesting way. When Auditor gave Host fire that gives Host's life, he made it so, quote: "as long as Deimos remains weak and broken, shall this fire burn brightly, shall he became stronger, shall this fire cease to exist". In simple terms, as long as Deimos is weak and dependent on Host to exist, Host will thrive, will be in their prime, but, when Deimos becomes powerful and doesn't need Host anymore, the fire will start burning out, slowly killing Host. That's why i compare this situation to "parasite and infected". Parasite in this case is Host, who feeds off of Deimos' weakness, but as soon as Deimos becomes powerful, the parasite died, because the infected can finally resist it

And, now going over, why they're doomed in every timeline(yes, there's multiple timelines in my au):

In good timeline: after escaping experiments, with Deimos, Sanford and Hank, Host starts to help everyone heal and recover, and most importantly, makes robotic body for Deimos, so he can finally comfortably exist, without need for Host, which, you guessed it, started killing Host! Since the life fire(aka the fire Auditor gave Host)was slowly burning out, Host's body was slowly rotting from the inside, their blood poisoning along with that. This is a very painful and long death. The irony of it, is that, the closer Host was to dying, the more they would start regaining their feelings and emotions. Ironically, they only had a few hours to experience all of them fully, before dying. Although they do get revived later on in this timeline, they were still dying for months, rotting from the inside. Only because they wanted to help someone they cared about, aka Deimos

In neutral timeline: this timeline is a bit more tricky to explain, but anyways. In this timeline, Host and Deimos aren't able to escape the experiments. And while Sanford and Hank getting under control of Phobos and Auditor through special mind control tech, it doesn't exactly work on Host. And just for a test, Deimos(who's still ai trapped in some laptop mind you) was put inside Host's body(their chest specifically). Basically speaking the two were forced to exist together like this, and this isn't good. Although Host and Deimos technically the same person, just different parts (Deimos being the mind, and Host being the body), they couldn't properly exist together like they do in neutral timeline. Host just went insane from experiencing all emotions in seconds, after Deimos connected to them, leading to Host loosing their sanity. Although, they have feelings now, they also suffer from them. And Deimos himself also doesn't really enjoy existing like this, constantly feeling Host's pain and feeling their broken psych, turning to dust

In bad timeline: that's the timeline of death for basically everyone, so not much to explain here. Both Host and Deimos were killed by Auditor, when he decided that there's no use from both of them. They died in a fight. Host was desperately trying to protect the laptop Deimos is trapped in, during the fight, not caring how much damage they'll receive. But one wrong move and boom, the laptop is destroyed, Deimos along with it, and you guessed it, Host died right after that! And no, not because Auditor used the chance to do the final blow, but because Host would die if Deimos would. Which happened here. The only things Host felt in last seconds of their life was guilt and fear

In insanity timeline: (this timeline roots from good timeline, so Deimos does have a robotic here, and yes this is important note) in this timeline, Auditor goes through with using Host as a tool for his benefit because of their fighting skills. Auditor also only returned one emotion to Host, that being anger, so their work would be "more efficient". And now, that their fire isn't burning out anymore, Host won't die no matter what. Ironically so, Deimos found out about this whole life fire burning out and killing Host because Deimos isn't weak anymore, so Deimos looses his mind, and literally starts breaking his body, hoping that it'll keep Host alive(because two have extremely deep brotherly bond, so of course Deimos wouldn't want Host to die). The thing is, he doesn't know that Host isn't all that dependent on Deimos being weak to live, so now, not only Host forced to work for his enemy, but also forced to see, one of the people they care for most, hurt himself, while they can't do anything about it. They're doomed to harm, and see their loved ones get harmed because of them

So yea, they're always doomed in one way or another. But despite everything, Host doesn't really care. As long as their loved one's are alive and well, they don't mind dying or suffering for them, even if it means suffering for all eternity

They may be emotionless, unfeeling, but they aren't cruel. Nevada's cruelty taught them empathy and kindness through observations. They may have been originally brought to live to be a shield and a weapon, but they learn to be way more than that. They learned to be more human, that other people ever will be. Who knew even some zed, can be like this

There's obviously, way more to their character, but that's all, for now, unless someone has questions :33

Thanks for reading my rambling <33

[farharbour]

happy oc-tober everypony 💖 finally took the time to draw out my three main fallout characters! i was going to draw all of my ocs out before posting but i couldn't wait to share these i love them so so so much they are my besties truly i made them i live for them and i would and will die for them

some info about each of them under the cut:

jesse: sosu; you know him, you love him, i never shut up about him. early 30s. my vaguely self-insert projection character who's taken on a life of his own at this point (but in my heart he will always be an extension of me to some extent). anyway. science guy, pacifist-adjacent. pre-war he was a radiologist w/ a concentration in epidemiology and was one of the last researchers trying to cure the new plague. his story in-game is less about shaun and more about the question of whether or not he's a synth (he's not but he's manipulated into thinking he is for a long long time). works with the railroad but has a falling-out with them post-game and takes up post as a doctor in diamond city. soft-spoken but capable. has a few grey hairs because i think it's cute and no other reason (poliosis). he's bi and dating nick. also poly but that's not super important.

bec: lw; i drew her here as she looks at age 29, when she's hanging out in the commonwealth with jesse. i'm not a fan of fo3 so she's truly a fo4 npc who just so happens to have also been the protagonist of fo3. she was injured pretty badly while activating the purifier and suffered severe radiation burns on the right side of her body; it was bad enough that the bos, who took her in, had no other option than to amputate her right arm (she's left-handed). she was coerced into working with the bos in exchange for saving her life and giving her a fully-functioning prosthetic arm but eventually parted ways on less than stellar terms once maxson started worming his way into power. she made he way north on the trail of dr. li and her father, who she had discovered had close ties to the institute (and she herself had a bit of a stake in the synth equation because of how much the replicated man quest affected her). after coming up empty she decided to hunker down in an old red rocket outside of sanctuary hills and turned the garage there into her home. she's a mechanic and loves tinkering with old tech, power armor in particular. she's a lesbian and dating another npc of mine, peaches (aka the general of the minutemen in jess' story).

simon: c6; late-20s. chaotic neutral but not chaotic stupid. dumbass but not dumb. they're related to the chosen one (it's a long and complicated family history that i haven't completely fleshed out yet) and they grew up in arroyo. they were always eager for adventure and set out at a young age for new reno, taking whatever odd jobs they could find. they eventually settled on being a package courier, as it gave him the opportunity to see more of the wasteland they loved so much. they set up a trading post on the long 15 years later and weren't able to escape the blast when it was destroyed; they carry a long scar across the length of their back as a reminder. he's mainly out for himself, but he's also deeply loyal to those few he considers trustworthy. has a soft heart under his silly and slightly abrasive exterior. collects teddy bears and dyes their own hair with a dye they makes themself with a mixture of bleach, clay, and mutfruit. never one to hunker down, they basically vanish back west after hoover dam. unsure if anyone ever sees him again. he's gay and 'dating' arcade (it's very very very very very complicated).

[fictionkinfessions]

i’m a linktype of a character who isn’t neccesarily a villain, but is often portrayed that way, because my abusive partner is a more popular fan-favourite. and, yes, she was abusive, too. they paint me as the only one who did anything wrong in the relationship when, really, the toxicity was mutual and reciprocated. i understand and agree with the fact i hurt her - i made some bad decisions. but she hurt me, too, and nobody seems to acknowledge that in favour of viewing her as their woeful innocent blorbo whom i unfairly wronged. sometimes in toxic relationships, there isn’t just the ‘victim’ and the ‘abuser’ - sometimes both parties are victims and abusers in their own right. it isn’t black and white.

for context: i was forced into a death game orchestrated by people who want to see people suffer for their own perverse entertainment. in this death game everyone was pre-assigned a ‘soulmate’ to pair with, somebody who shared injury and death, a two birds with one stone mechanic. i went around looking for my soulmate the entire session, i asked everyone i met if they were the ones, but i couldn’t find my soulbound. eventually i learned the reason i couldn’t find her was because she was in our world’s equivalent of hell risking our shared life by needlessly putting herself in danger - emphasis on needlessly because there was literally no reason to go galavanting through the most perilous places she could find on the first day other then thrill. especially without considering it wasn’t just her life she was putting in danger. do you know how terrifying it is? to feel immense pain ripple through your body without warning at any moment but there’s nothing you can do about it because it’s not technically yours (yet it hurts you anyway?) it hurt it hurt so bad and it hurt worse because i’d been being so careful for her - i hadn’t even been risking getting a splinter because i hadn’t wanted to hurt her and she did not seem to share that sentiment. she didn’t care her self-destructive recklessness was hurting me too.

i decided, you know what? screw fate. i want to be able to forge my own destiny - i want to be able to choose who i think is right for me and chose who i want to be with for myself. i want to have the freedom to make my own choice regarding who i want to spend the rest of my life with instead of having it arranged for me by ‘fate’; aka the people who put me in a death game and defintely don’t have my best interests in mind. so i did. i met somebody and i love them a lot! /p. we weren’t ‘soulmates’ - but does it really matter? we love and care for each other, we’d die and kill for each other, i don’t care if they aren’t ‘who the universe had in mind’. they’re mine and i’m theirs. besides, my ‘soulmate’ had already done the same thing and had teamed with someone else, so it’s not like i was ‘cheating’ when a) if i was, they’d cheated first and b) we hadn’t even met i’d hardly consider us to be in a relationship. i made this very clear when i cut her off.

she ended up going insane from the loneliness. she blamed me because i’d ‘abandoned’ her and ‘made her’ that way. had i though? i didn’t make her kill all those people - i didn’t make her do anything. she’s responsible for her own actions. all i did was decide what i’d wanted for myself and that i didn’t feel comfortable in a relationship with her. she hadn’t respected any of the boundaries I’d put in place and ended up harassing me and my partner. from there, things escalated - we both started hurting ourselves to hurt the other (though by far, she was worse with it). we both did a lot of shitty things to each other. and i acknowledge that i did a lot of shit things and hurt her! i acknowledge she’s not an evil person, just a hurt person who lashed out because of it. but so am i. she hurt me, too, but she never acknowledged it or took responsibility - she never apologized. i’m not an evil person, either, i’m somebody who was also traumatized and because of it made bad choices that hurt others, just like her, and yet i don’t recieve the “ooooh poor baby it wasn’t their fault they were just scared and scarred!” treatment she does, because she’s a fan favourite, so the fandom blorboifies her. it just makes me so frustrated to see source me portrayed as toxic and abusive and the villain when it was so much more complicated then that. she was just as toxic and abusive to me as i was to her. people just choose to ignore that fact to make her look better. yes, she was abused. but she was also an abuser. she abused me as much as i abused her.

if any pearls see this i just want you to know. i am sorry. i am sorry i hurt you - i am sorry things didn’t work out between us. i’m sorry for what we become. but i hope you’re sorry, too, i hope you can acknowledge that we were both in the wrong. i hope you regret what you put me through - that you understand that you hurt me too. that i’m still recovering from what you put me through.

but i hope that this gives you closure. i hope you get better. i hope you heal.

- ✨scott smajor, source: double life smp

x

[firecoloredwater]

Fic authors self rec!

Oh boy I've been tagged twice now, by @planeoftheeclectic and @denialcity. Thank you both!

(And uh, since I somehow didn't actually get notifications for either of those and just noticed while scrolling, if anyone else has tagged me in... anything, really, and I didn't respond, sorry about that! Tumblr is being tumblr apparently.)

Rules: Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass this onto other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💖

Going to tag uhhhh @domoz @asukaskerian and uhhh what's a people I've never met a people in my life. what's a tag. I'll go shake discord a bit and come back with more tags in a reblog probably.

Fics!

These are... not in any particular order of preference, I will just make question marks for a year if I try to sort them that way, so this is just the order I grabbed the links in. Which means newest to oldest.

1: Roots Grow Up - Naruto (Founders)

I still don't like the title, but I like basically everything else in this fic (including one detail I've decided on but not posted yet so... can't say). I am planning to add more, but the first chapter (which is all that's posted now) stands alone pretty well, since I wasn't sure whether I'd continue it at all when I first posted it.

The premise is that Kawarama didn't die, but instead lost his memory and has been living as a civilian farmer when Hashirama and Tobirama find him, a few years after founding Konoha. 0 people were prepared for this discovery.

Summary:

It's been fifteen years since Isamu was found, badly injured and unconscious in the forest. He woke up with amnesia, but his origin was pretty obvious, so he doesn't even miss the memories. It's been fifteen years. He's grown up, earned a place in the town that took him in, and even gotten married. His not-so-mysterious past doesn't matter. Not until shinobi wander into town, anyway.

2: Blessed Sacrifice AU - Naruto (Founders)

Cowritten with @codedredalert aka @denialcity, on hiatus while we both deal with Life, but there's a large and excellent chunk up already and so many cool things planned. So many!!!

Also, turns out I REALLY LIKE cowriting. Which is kind of old news because I've been doing forum RP for a decade+, but I wasn't sure if that would translate to fic. Turns out the answer is definitely yes.

BSAU is basically taking the "red eyes blessed" trope and digging into the like... worldbuilding repercussions of that, as shown through Izuna. And also crows.

Also comes with LOTS of fantastic art from Red!

Summary:

Mythology-religion freeform AU where Tobirama is considered blessed by the gods by the Uchiha, but they still need to deal with him as an enemy, so Izuna is ritually disowned from the Uchiha and given a special role responsible for protecting/fighting him.

3: Somebody Else's Dream - Girl Genius

Written as a gift for khilari! I can't remember what the exact prompt was, but I ended up writing an elaboration on the canon detail that Mechanicsburg was founded when a Heterodyne decided he wanted a town, so he just had his people build one.

The main character is an OC who was kidnapped to become a non-military member of the town, and the story is about how he ends up settling in. It's a very weird balance of a "finding your place in the world" story and "this is still kidnapping actually," and I don't think it would work in most fandoms, but since Girl Genius canon is a perpetual balance of heartwarming and "wow that is somehow worse than a war crime" already, I think it worked out really well, and I'm still very proud of it.

Also I suffered over the accents in this. But it worked!

Summary:

Faustus Heterodyne wants civilians for his newly built town. What the civilians want is generally different.

4: Jager Search - Girl Genius

Also written as a gift, this time for sparkagatha. It's the future, *vague handwave* everything is resolved, the OT3 are together and Klaus has accepted that he can leave Agatha alone and the revenants are being cured, happily ever after.

...except that some of the "wild" jagers are still missing. So Agatha sets out to find them.

Not much to say really; I can see spots where I'd write it differently if I wrote it now, but that's mostly things like "would have slightly changed the characterization," not big issues, and overall it still holds up very well for being... close to eight years old.

Summary:

Most of the detached jägers heard of the Heterodyne's return and came home, but a few are still missing. Agatha learns this, and decides to fix it.

5: Didn't Dream This - Death Note

Oh if I wrote this now tumblr would annihilate me. ~Problematic~ yay!

I'm not sure I'd say this is a good fic--if I was writing it now I'd write it so differently that it just would be a different fic--but I was clearly working out something about sexuality and relationships and the stuff (not) in my head that I've ended up labeling "being aro."

Basically: Mello and Matt are straight, and they decide to be together anyway. I'm glad I wrote it, partly because I know I wouldn't think or dare to write it now.

Summary:

Mello doesn't want to die alone. Solutions can exist without working out the way anyone wants. (Psychologically intimate interaction is really a better description than romance.)

[therhythmafterthesummer]

I have more question and would like to hear your thoughts on some what ifs

1) do you think autumn wouldn’t have stayed in Chan’s pack if there would have been specific rules for omegas, even if they were ones to actually protect them? Ex: when close to your heat let others know when you are going out and request of someone else go with you

2) thoughts on if Changbin just so happened to find himself in a dark alley with Autumn’s ex and he knew there would be no consequences. Mine are I doubt the guy makes it out alive

3) like how Chris in the actual band doesn’t care about seniority and let’s IN do things like hold the trophy first, get first bites ex, does this happen in the actual pack?

4)if it was just mitten and Sir P/future cats for the rest of ever by themselves, do you think he’d suffer from lone wolf syndrome? Do you think he’d notice if he did get it?

5) are lunar eclipses and solstices also important for the wolves for runs and celebrations?

6) what if instead happy zoomies from Chris when he finally learns he’s gonna be a dad, he actually gets so excited and worked up he passes out? Thoughts? Cause like tbh it would be so cute.

7) for soulmates/truemates, if one of them were to pass would the other likely die of a broken heart? If so, does it ever happen to just other mates/packmates?

-🥝

love these so much, you already know.

she could've dealt with rules for omegas depending on what the rules were. if they'd been something like "omegas tend to the household while their alphas work" or "omegas must obey higher designations" she definitely wouldn't have stayed.

wr!Changbin has had his fair dose of anger issues, and i feel like all those would resurface if he saw Hyunwoo lol. he'd definitely try to fight, and at the very least, he'll get him unconscious..

yes, yes it does. Chris just wants his pack members to follow the very few rules he's put in place (help each other out when needed, speak out if you're uncomfortable, protect each other, anyone that's coming to the building must be introduced to Chris, and he will decide whether or not they can come into the den, etc). other than that, everyone's pretty much equal.

he wouldn't notice if he were suffering from lone wolf syndrome, at least not for a while. but, kitten and sir p are part of his pack, so he wouldn't get it anyway. in this universe, lone wolf syndrome is more about the pack than it is about being surrounded by other wolves. it's also why, when jisung found them, minho was fine. he wasn't alone, he had kitten (and his mum, and sir P, and kitten's dad).

yes, yes they are! i just haven't decided how they affect werewolves in this universe ahhaha. anything related to the sun, the moon, and the stars can affect them in one way or another.

awwwww, that's cute. i don't think he'll fully pass out, but i'm sure he'll be really close to hahah. he'll either try to go on a run to let those feelings out, or not detach himself from his prettiest for a second (aka, enters annoying protection mode).

yes, soulmates/truemates would die if the other passed. we know chris x pretty are soulmates, as are hyunlix x moss. with hyunlix and moss, if two of the throuple remain alive it's very likely that they'll survive for much longer, since they have each other, you know? if two of them die, whoever's left will die of a broken heart. same thing with pretty x chris. i feel like it's obvious that if pretty died, Chris would 100% die of a broken heart. what people might question is what would happen to pretty if Chris died.... pretty is human, but the universe has tied her to Chris, so she'd also die of a broken heart if he died. regular mates wouldn't necessarily die of a broken heart, but it's very likely that they wouldn't mate ever again (it'd depend on the relationship they had, honestly). pack mates usually wouldn't die of a broken heart if one of their own passed.

hope these answer your questions and that they make sense sjkdfhskjf feel free to let me know if they don't

[jacensolodjo]

I know it’s been a while but I think a lot about both Pacific Rim and the Man From UNCLE or at least in the fact that both have characters of eastern slavic descent and how important it is that NOBODY just goes with the idea they are both actually just Russian.

I know. It’s fandom. It’s fictional stories. It’s WHATEVER. But we all know damn well that fictional shit reflects the current state of the world. And can also affect real world things. 

But people are too quick to decide a name ending in -enko,-sky, or -kin is Russian. Or indeed, that if someone was born somewhere that was considered Russian territory that it makes them 100% always Russian. It is WRONG to treat slavic and russian as interchangeable. They are NOT. 

And I want people to know that -enko is actually overwhelmingly most often Ukrainian. This is something that Lyudmila Pavlichenko actually brings up in her diaries. And part of it is that her commanding officer saw ‘enko’ at the end of her name and instantly started treating her lesser, as many often treated and continue to treat Ukrainians (*gestures vaguely at the news and all the violence leading up to the invasion*). It didn’t matter if Lyudmila considered herself Ukrainian or not. It mattered that everyone else did and treated her accordingly. 

A woman who took out 309 Nazis was consistently treated lesser not only for being a woman but for being Ukrainian. Or at least for the crime of having a name that people associated with as being Ukrainian. 

Which leads to Aleksis and Sasha Kaidanovsky. And Illya Kuryakin. Both are called Russian even in their respective media. But that does NOT mean they actually are. Exactly because of everyone’s tendency to consider slavic surname means Russian.

It’s a small thing, really, for someone like me to put his foot down and go ‘NO they are NOT’. But if people do it the other way around that’s fine??? Why is it more acceptable to see slavic surname and go ‘russian’ than it is for someone like me to see slavic and say ‘ukrainian’? 

The Kaidanovskys literally pilot a jaeger called CHERNO ALPHA and you want ME to think instantly and automatically they’re Russian? When if you break things down, it is in fact a jaeger named in memory of Chernobyl/Chornobyl, the first off the line to do so aka Alpha. Spelled Черный Альфа/Cherniy Alfa. And if we think that the pilots have a say in the name of their jaeger, it would make far more sense for a Ukr to name their jaeger Cherno Alpha than it would a Russian. What do they care about Chornobyl for when we know historically they didn’t? And to put the cherry on top, they are die hard fans of Ukrainian hardhouse. Ukrainian hardhouse is LIFE. If you don’t like it, you don’t like life. and yet, the culture of Russia is that anything Ukrainian is LESSER, that it is UNWORTHY of attention or affection. The Kaidanovskys are at an age where when they were born things were shaking up, Ukraine was just recently independent. All of this combined means it makes far more sense that one or both are Ukrainian instead of Russian. Because, again, a lot of non-Slavs (and many slavs anyway) will say Russian when they actually mean basically any other Slav that isn’t Russian. 

And so we go back in time, to before Chornobyl even happened and we were only a couple decades post WW2. Ukraine was still called ‘The Ukraine’ or ‘Ukrainian SSR’. And here you have a man, Illya Kuryakin, who lost his father to gulag and his mother to a bunch of bastards who used her and abused her and raped her. And here we don’t focus solely on his surname. His first name ‘Illya’ is spelled the way it is spelled in Ukrainian traditionally NOT Russian. It would have been ‘Ilya’ otherwise.  Sure, he says shit isn’t the Russian way but you know what a lot of Ukrainians suffer and continue to suffer from? Russification. Essentially a process that strips you of your heritage to instead just make you a Russian drone. You are forced to give up your mother tongue, you are told you will only celebrate Russian holidays and uphold only Russian tradition. Even if, indeed, they claim it is ‘Soviet’. In this case, Soviet is used interchangeable with Russian whether they want to admit it or not. Of course a man being told to follow his programming would chant the same shit over and over again. That isn’t him being a proud Russian. It is him being told he is Russian OR ELSE. Indoctrination involves key phrases repeated ad nauseum in order to reinforce said programming. They repeat it OR ELSE. They ARE this thing OR ELSE. 

Anyway no one can stop me from waving my hand over eastern slavic characters and declaring them Ukrainian over Russian. A character can be born in fucking Moscow and still not be Russian in any way except on their passport. Plenty of Ukrainians are born in Russia. 

All your slavic faves are Ukrainian and I DO make the rules. 

[deathlygristly]

Sometimes I find things I wrote online a long time ago and they contain memories that I no longer have.

I've seen that post about what would you have posted about if you were on here when you were 11, and I was like hmmm, the Holocaust, My Little Pony, ACC basketball, Sherlock Holmes, Edgar Allan Poe, The Little Mermaid, Animaniacs, Tiny Toons, and also apparently according to the old posts I found Gandhi and MLK Jr. It would appear that several years ago I remembered a fascination with them coming after the interest in the Holocaust.

Which makes sense, I guess. Little me trying to find some hope in humanity afterwards. I mean, that is around the time my mother signed me up for Big Brother, Big Sister. I heard her on the phone saying that she didn't know what to do with me and I was terrified she was giving me up for adoption. Turned out it was more that she didn't know how to handle an existentially depressed preteen who would look at the most beautiful spring days and imagine smoke rising from the crematorium.

Also when I wrote those posts I was having a similar reaction about healthcare here in the US, trying to find a way to live in a world where I was under the control of other members of my species who were fine with extreme suffering and cruelty and who enjoyed causing it. It was shortly after the ulcer where my choices were to go to the ER or die, so the cost of healthcare here was on my mind a lot.

Then came Trump, and finally my choices were adapt to living on the same planet as humans or die. I chose to adapt. Got medication for the anxiety and managed to find some level of seeing and appreciating the most beautiful spring days and being extremely happy with that and just letting the human darkness go so I could live.

So if I don't reblog much political content on here and I unfollow/block people I don't know well who reblog a lot of the darker and more vicious stuff, it's because of that choice. Me talking about how awesome the spousal person is, about how it's fun to watch kdramas and try teas with him, about how cool the cats are, etc - that's all me choosing to live.

Humans are gonna human and I can't stop it or control it or do anything about it, but I can appreciate beauty and I can laugh and I can pet cats and I can hug the spousal person and I can live as well as I can, since I was born on this planet and I have no other choice anyway.

It is still interesting and fun occasionally to wonder about how humans work and to try to understand where the cruelty and enjoyment of causing suffering comes from or even how much of it is the result of conscious choice and how much of it is just the unfortunate result of how human brains work in certain situations.

And if anything trying to learn about that more has helped, because the more I've learned the more I've realized that a lot of it comes from a cycle of abuse and trauma and how human brains react to that cycle, and how most humans aren't scary monsters who enjoy hurting others. They're mostly just traumatized and/or ignorant and/or trying to survive as best they know how and/or desperate to stay included in their tribe. They're more pitiful than scary, and I mean pitiful as in inspiring much pity, not as an insult.

I think probably the only thing I can do about humans being human is to try to be kind and help others, and doing what I can to keep myself joyful helps with that.

I don't know. Anyway tonight we're going to pick up a sanity pill refill, aka escitalopram, and eat at our favorite restaurant, so we'll only have time for one episode. Which there aren't any new shows airing today that we're into so it'll be an episode of Faith, aka The Great Doctor. It's from 2012 when kdramas did not have the budget they have now and it's very amusing. Also it's from before the Joseon Exorcist controversy so it's actually based on real history near the end of the Goryeo dynasty and it's fun learning about the real people the characters are based on.