#also first appearance of a slightly different art style/brush

[hedgehog-a-day]

7: dance!

[the-hinky-panda]

He want lipstick, lip gloss, hickeys too

Warning: Explicit (sexual situations) Also, there is one last part to this series.

He hates fancy events. He hates the snobbery, the trying to outdo the Jonese and not just keep up with them. The art gallery is made up of tiny rooms, people constantly bumping into each other. The air is heavy with expensive perfume and idle chatter. It’s claustrophobic. 

Terry recognizes a photo when he turns a corner. It’s a dynamic picture made to look black and white because of the early morning light. There are skeletal branches of the trees in one of the many parks in the Bronx that make a band across the picture. The sky is lightening slightly but the full moon appears in the top corner. The sun must have just broken the horizon because the wrought iron entrance gate to the park is a stunning gold color, the only splash of color in the photo. He finds the title of the piece on a small plague under the left corner. 

The Gate of Babylon. 

“Terry?” 

He wonders who said his name because it takes a moment to recognize you. Your hair is pulled back into a neat bun at the base of your neck, not a messy pile on top of your head held together with a pen. You’re in a 40’s style dress, a short sleeved buttoned bodice, wide belt around your waist, and a full skirt that hits you mid calf. He’s never seen you in a dress before. You’re also wearing makeup, cat-eye wings around your already large eyes, your lips painted a sinful red. 

He’s overcome with want. 

Ever since the diner, ever since he took a shot and reached for you, you have consistently reached back. Texts and phone calls at all hours of the day or night. Little knowing looks at crime scenes, a brush of hands here and there. Is it love? He doesn’t know. His heart is still too wounded to be able to answer that. But it’s something and judging from the nervous twist of your hands, you feel something too. 

He leans forward and you copy the movement so his lips are next to your ear. “Do you want to get out here?” 

“Yes,” your answer is immediate, confident. 

He takes your hand, your fingers slipping smoothly between his. “I’m getting really good at ducking out of these types of situations.” 

You smile, genuine and hopeful. “I’ll just follow you.” 

He winds through the building, through the different displays and exhibits, until he finds the back stairs. A quick climb up a few flights and he shoulders open the door to the roof. Cool night air hits him in the face and he breathes fully for the first time this evening. There’s a small rooftop patio: a settee and table, strings of lights that are turned off since clearly the party below wasn’t meant to spill up into this private area. You take a chair from a little bistro table and put it under the doorknob so no one will interrupt…whatever this happens to be. You don’t let him guess for long; you never do. Your arms twine around his neck, fingers sliding through his hair and gently encourage him to bend his head. 

You’re the first woman he’s kissed since Rose. That’s the reason why this kiss feels like a lightning bolt has been fired through him, or so he tells himself. His hands curl around your ribcage, his fingers fitting neatly into the dip of your spine. He likes the way you fit into his hands, warm and sweet. Your mouth opens to him and you taste of citrus and alcohol, a lemon drop martini. You pull back slightly and even in the dim light he can see the flush on your cheeks, your wide pupils, the rise and fall of your chest. 

“I’m really glad you showed up tonight.” 

Terry presses his forehead to yours. “Me too.” 

A smile, genuine and full of joy, breaks across your face. “I’ve been waiting to kiss you since that night in the diner.” 

That night had been over a month ago. And he would be lying if he said he hadn’t wanted to kiss you that night too. Kiss you, hold you close, feel you move under him. You were the first woman that inspired these desires in the last year. No, year and half. God, has it been that long? Is it long enough? 

“Terry?” 

The nervous tremble in your voice pulls him back from the mental spiral. Now that his mind is back, his mouth is refusing to work and you misunderstand his silence. 

“I’m sorry,” you step back. “I’m so sorry, I completely misunderst-” 

His mouth slams down on yours as he drags you back towards him. It’s too much and not enough all at once. Your dress is covering too much of your body and the taste of your skin makes him forget where he is. The slender column of your neck, scented with lavender and thyme, bends perfectly against his mouth, vibrating with your moan. 

He maneuvers the two of you down onto the settee, him wedged in the corner of it, you straddling his lap. You fluff out the skirt, yanking the extra fabric out of the way so there’s minimal layers between you. His head hits the back of the couch when you grind down on his hard cock. 

“Fuck, Snaps!” 

Your still painted lips curve into a smile. “That’s the idea, Bruno.” 

You don’t look like you though. Your hair is too neat, the make up hiding the natural color of your skin. He reaches up and pulls the clip from your hair, letting it fall in cascades over your shoulders. That’s better. Next, he tries to swipe at the lipstick with the pad of his thumb but the bright red color stubbornly stays on. You take the opportunity though to draw his thumb into your mouth, your velvet tongue curling around his finger. 

“Sn-Snaps, babe, you gotta either slow down or speed up.” 

You release his thumb with a wet pop. Sweet Jesus. Speed up it is then. His hands reach for the buttons on the front of your dress. He wants to see you, as much as he can in the given circumstance of a rooftop quickie in the early morning hours. He manages to get the bodice of your dress unbuttoned and pushed down your arms, the floral fabric bunched around your waist, to reveal the pale green lace bra. The flush on your skin, across the swell of your breasts, contrasts with the  sage color of the lace. You look so soft and delicate. 

“God, you’re beautiful.” 

Your clever hands have already undone his belt and pause in their unzipping of his pants. Your head dips down and you scoff. “Terry, you don’t have to…” 

You really don’t know, do you? You have no concept of what you’ve done to him and over half the men on the force in the Bronx. In a world full of fake airs and plastic wear, your authenticity stands out like a shining beacon. The fact that you have an easy smile, sparkling eyes, and softest skin he’s ever felt is just a bonus. He wishes he had a bed to lay you out on and properly show you just how much he does have to. But maybe later you’ll let him show you how he sees you. Drag you out from behind the lens you hide behind so much and give you a clearer picture of the world around you, including how you fit into it. 

He pulls you back down to capture your mouth with his, tries to pour his thoughts and feelings into the kiss. He must be at least partially successful because you return the kiss, lips, tongue and teeth. Your spine bends, curling around him, your hair creating a curtain around both your faces. It brings back the intimacy of the moment, sealing you both off from the world around you, allowing you both to refocus. His hands trail down the slender slope of your neck and over the swell of your breasts. Your hands go immediately back to his zipper, pulling down the tab and reaching inside. The first brush of your hand rips a groan from his throat. It’s been so long, too long, since he’s done this. Which reminds him. 

“Wait, Snaps,” he reaches behind him and grabs his wallet, pulling out a condom. “Here.” 

You stand up quickly, reaching under your skirt and sliding your panties off while he rolls the condom on himself. He’s thankful for there being a barrier, hoping it’ll make him last longer than a riled up, horny teenager. You deserve better than that. You deserved better than a quick fuck on a rooftop too but before he can give that much more thought, you’re climbing back into his lap. Once again, you spread out the full skirt as you lower yourself down onto him. His fingers dig into your hips to keep you from moving. 

“Need a minute,” he pants. 

You press your forehead to his, the triple sec and lemon from your martini wafts across his face. “Feels so good, Terry.” 

“No shit.” 

And it does. Even through the condom, he can feel your tight, slick grip on him, and it’s perfect. You’re not too tight but tight enough for him to feel when you clench around him. Instead of rising up, you grind against him, and his vision almost blacks out. There’s something about not being able to see him disappearing into you, all he can do is feel it. Feel the circular motion of your hips, the rise of his own to get as deep as possible inside of you. There’s a beautiful blush that spreads across your lace covered breasts and up your neck, spilling across your cheeks. The red lipstain is finally coming off, the natural deep pink hue of your lips coming through again. Your pupils are blown wide and you’re the loveliest thing he’s seen in such a long time. 

Your fingers slide through his hair, trace over the sides of his face. There’s such tenderness in your touch and it forces him to swallow down the lump of emotion that rises up in his throat. This is more than just a quick fuck or two lonely people coming together to blow off steam. There’s emotion, desire, and want all behind the gentle touches. This is much more serious than what he originally believed. 

“Ter…please...” you whine prettily. 

“What do you need, babe?” He’ll give you anything, anything you want. 

Your lips ghost over his, featherlight in touch, as you grind down against him. “You.”

He buries his face against your neck and comes so hard he has to bite his tongue to keep quiet. He can feel you tremble as your own orgasm overtakes you, pulls you closer to him as the aftershocks of your pleasure dissipate. Your head rests on his shoulder, a short puff of air emitted from a laugh. 

“Fuck, that was amazing.” 

He laughs in response. “I concur.” 

You reluctantly remove yourself from him, taking your slip off and using it to clean the sticky mess on the inside of your thighs before sliding your underwear back on. You turn the fabric over to a clean section and offer it to him. He removes the condom and ties it off, cleaning himself off as well. You find a small trash can over by the door and he disposes of the condom. You fold up the slips and tuck it behind the wide belt to hide the soiled fabric. 

“So,” he starts to say, “do you want to go back down to the party?” 

You smile kindly, happily, your eyes glinting in the dim moonlight. “No, I’d rather stay here with you.” 

He is glad for the poor lighting now, to hide the flush of embarrassment that flashes across his face. He props himself again on the settee and you lay beside him, head on his chest and fingers tracing patterns on his shirt and hands. You both must doze off at some point because when he opens his eyes again, the sun is just starting to  peek between the skyscrapers of the New York skyline. 

He recognizes you in the light of the sunrise. Your hair loose and mussed, the lipstick kissed from your mouth finally, and the cotton fabric of your dress wrinkled. He recognizes you now and realizes with the dawning of the new day and the slow smile crossing your face as you look up at him, that he loves you and you may be so inclined to return those feelings.

So when he drops you off at your apartment that morning, he runs as fast as he can from yet another heartbreak. 

[paintingservicesa]

Transforming Spaces: The Art and Science of Room Painting

Choosing the Perfect Palette: The Power of Color Psychology

The first step in any room painting project is selecting the perfect color palette. Color has a profound impact on mood, atmosphere, and perception, so it's essential to choose hues that resonate with your personal style and the function of the space.

Consider the mood you want to create—soft, serene colors like pale blues and greens promote relaxation and tranquility, while bold, vibrant shades like reds and oranges energize and invigorate. Neutral tones such as whites, grays, and beiges provide a versatile backdrop that complements any decor style and allows other elements in the room to shine.

Additionally, take into account the size and lighting of the room—lighter colors can make small spaces feel larger and more open, while darker shades create a cozy, intimate ambiance. Natural light can affect how colors appear, so it's a good idea to test paint samples in different areas of the room and at different times of day to see how they look in various lighting conditions.

Preparation is Key: Setting the Stage for Success

Once you've chosen your color palette, it's time to prepare the room for painting. Proper preparation is essential for achieving professional-looking results and ensuring the longevity of your paint job.

Start by removing furniture, fixtures, and wall decor from the room, and covering floors and remaining furnishings with drop cloths or plastic sheeting to protect them from paint splatters. Use painter's tape to mask off trim, baseboards, and other areas you want to keep paint-free.

Next, inspect the walls for any cracks, holes, or imperfections, and patch them with spackle or joint compound. Sand down rough spots and uneven surfaces to create a smooth, uniform finish, and wipe away dust and debris with a damp cloth.

Priming: The Secret to a Lasting Finish

Priming may seem like an extra step, but it's an essential one for ensuring the durability and longevity of your paint job. Primer creates a smooth, uniform surface for paint to adhere to, seals porous surfaces, and improves paint adhesion and coverage.

Apply a coat of primer to the walls using a roller or brush, working in small sections and overlapping each stroke to ensure even coverage. Allow the primer to dry completely before applying paint.

Painting Techniques: Tips for Success

When it comes to painting the walls, there are a few techniques to keep in mind to achieve professional-looking results:

Start by cutting in—use a brush to paint along the edges and corners of the walls, creating crisp, clean lines where the roller can't reach.

Use a high-quality roller and extension pole to apply paint to the larger areas of the walls, Painting Contractors working in small sections and rolling in a W or M-shaped pattern to ensure even coverage.

Work from top to bottom, painting one wall at a time and overlapping each stroke slightly to avoid streaks and roller marks.

Use long, smooth strokes and avoid pressing too hard on the roller, which can cause drips and uneven coverage.

Allow the first coat of paint to dry completely before applying a second coat for optimal coverage and depth of color.

Finishing Touches: Adding Personality and Style

Once the paint has dried, it's time to put the finishing touches on your newly painted room. Reinstall furniture, fixtures, and wall decor, and take a moment to admire the transformation.

Consider adding accents like throw pillows, rugs, and curtains in coordinating colors to tie the room together and add personality and style. Plants, artwork, and decorative accessories can also enhance the space and make it feel inviting and lived-in.

[nfkjournal]

Week 4 - 3D Content Clean Up

In this class we cleaned up our models using the Target Wield tool and Clean up tool. Unfortunately I had finished my models on my laptop in my flat and forgot to copy them onto my Falmouth OneDrive so I couldn't access them in this class but I had already attempted to remove any unneeded vertices and edges in the topology myself.

In this class Adam told us that we could colour in the model by using the surface shader, however I had already coloured in my model using a different tool which is the Paint Vertex Colour tool which I used for my submarine. For the cut in the middle created a polygonal cut and an edge in the middle and then extruded the edge inwards and used the move tool to move it in even further.

I am quite happy with these models as I believe they resemble the artist George O'Keefes' work and it replicates the Sea of Thieves style.

During the first week, we typed in words on Menti to describe the Sea of Thieves art style and most adjectives that we used were simplistic, exaggerated, blocky and rugged and rough. We also looked at character design and mostly described the pirates as being heavily detailed, cartoony, blocky, water coloured, angular, exaggerated and having motifs of harsh shadows, scars, bandages and X marks. I believed I have captured the exaggerated, blocky, cartoony and rough aesthetic of Sea of Thieves in my models as I believe I have added lots of character to them by adding chips, cuts and blemishes rather than just keeping them with tidy shapes and no blocky colours or tones.

For the tankard, I used the Paint Vertex Colour Tool and I used multi cut to split the tankard into many edges so that I could be able to colour each edge with a slightly darker or lighter tone of brown to be able to replicate the blocky, exaggerated and cartoony style of George O'Keefe. I also used lighter shades to colour in the chips of the tankard. I kept the opacity of the brush very low and I kept the brush's hardness on low while using the 'Accumulate opacity' tool to make it similar to shading and blending, and to also make it easier to keep the shades of brown not too dark or light from the shade next to it.

For the barrel I used a cylinder and I inserted two edge loops around the left centre and right centre of the cylinder and scaled them to be wider than the other edges of the cylinder so I could achieve the wider centre part of the barrel. I then used the pipe shape on both ends of the barrel, and also on both the left and right centre and coloured them all black using the vertex colour tool. I then used the multi cut on the centre black rings instead of using an edge loop for a straight line because the Sea of Thieves barrel isn't straight and has a chip in it. I also added multi cuts to the barrel and the black rings and added dull colours such as light grey and shades of brown as the barrel to achieve the worn out, rusty, dirty appearance. For the gaps in the barrel I selected the edges, detached them from the model and moved them inwards to create a gap between the two surfaces. I used multiple shades of pink/red to achieve the blocky style of Sea of Thieves and a more beige colour for the chips in the barrel. I used small pyramids and coloured some of it brown to resemble dirt and added them to the ends of the barrel. For the paper stuck to the barrel with the X mark, I used a plane and selected its edges and rotated it so it looked like it was stuck to the barrel and I created a polygon which resembles two bones shaped diagonally from each other to resemble an X. I slightly shaded this X with brown shades to resemble dirt like in the reference picture.

I am happy with both these outcomes, however I would change the method I used to colour in the models as cutting lots of different edges to colour using different tones is a long and tiring process and it also messes up the topology and makes it extremely difficult and long to fix and remove all the extra vertices after. However it still resembles the Sea of Thieves and George O'Keefe's (I am not sure who created the barrel model) style quite closely and I believe I have learnt a lot in the process.

This is relevant in the industry because you should be flexible with your skills because there are many different jobs whether its 3D or 2D and you are more likely to land one when you develop your skills in both 3D and 2D. It's also important to know the basics of 3D modelling and creating an asset which is suitable to be animated with.

Artist Research - George O'Keefe

George O'Keefe is a game environment artist and architect who is currently working at Criterion Studios and EA. He has had experience working at Escape Studios, London as a tutor and course developer, this is also where he studios MA Game Art in 2016. He has also had experience working at Rare LTD and Xbox Game Studios. He has experience with many programs such as Maya, Photoshop, Frostbite, Unreal Engine 4 and ZBrush. He has worked on games like Sea of Thieves, Battlefield 2042 and Need for Speed Unbound and is currently working on architectural designs like the Venice Canal and the Chapel Royale.

Artist Research - Andy Betts

Andy Betts is a 3D modeler with over 26 years experience in the video games industry. I've worked on a number of high profile, BAFTA winning titles using a wide range of software such as Maya, Photoshop, Zbrush, Mental Ray and Unreal. He has worked on games such as Sea of Thieves, Kinect Sports Rivals, Sonic and Sega All Stars Racing and Xbox Avatars. He is currently working at Rare LTD.

In general, pirates are present in many different types of media and are usually depicted in a villainous and comedic way for example Captain Hook in Peter Pan and 'One-Eyed Willy' in The Goonies. They are also particularly prevalent in video games like Sea of Thieves, Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag and Assassin's Creed Rogue. In Sea of Thieves, pirates are inspired by the films The Goonies, and are depicted as people who sail around in a sloop, brigantine or galleon and have a job to either sail the ship, manage shooting the cannons, infiltrating enemy ships and scouting from the crow's nest of the ship.

Black Flag's focus is mainly a pirate called Edward Kenway and the main story is set during the Golden Age of Piracy from 1715 to 1822. Here piracy is portrayed in less of a comedic and light-hearted way and more of a criminal activity associated with people from a low social class background and looked down upon by the wealthy. It also looks at piracy in a more political and ideological way with the Republic of Pirates introduced in the game and refers to real life history like the Golden Age of Piracy unlike Sea of Thieves and the other films.

Assassin's Creed Rogue is like Black Flag but has more of a focus around assassins rather than pirates, however the gameplay is similar to Sea of Thieves as you sail a ship called The Morrigan and you can attack enemy ships with an air rifle, a grenade launcher and also destroy icebergs to damage the ships.

[vancouverkitchenrenovation]

Master Bathroom Ideas

Creating a master bathroom that feels luxurious is not an easy feat. There are a wide variety of ideas you can use to make your bathroom a haven of comfort and relaxation. From fireplaces and glass shower doors to textured walls and a luxurious bathtub, you will find everything you need to create the perfect bathroom for your home.

Modern

Using modern master bathroom ideas, you can create a stylish space that’s functional and comfortable. This type of bathroom features clean lines, natural materials and minimalist designs.

The bathtub is the star of the show, thanks to its unique shape. You can create a striking focal point in your master bath with a freestanding soaker tub.

The Art Deco arch is a trend that’s taken hold of the bathroom design world. The arch brings an organic feel to the space, and introduces a stylish twist to the traditional tub and shower combo.

A chic shelf is also a good way to add functionality to a bathroom. Its simple design helps to keep clutter at bay, while also providing a stylish touch.

You can also create a more interesting bathroom by adding a mirrored wall. If you’re not into marble, opt for a framed mirror instead. These add a stylish touch without compromising on the rest of your decor.

Traditional

Creating a traditional master bathroom doesn’t have to be difficult. With the right ideas, you can design a stylish, yet functional bathroom that oozes charm. Here are some tips to keep in mind.

First, choose your hero piece. The hero piece can be a beautiful tile or other interesting accessory. It should be large enough to make the space feel airy and bright.

Another good hero piece is a statement roll-top bath. This is a design element that can make a small bathroom feel bigger. Also, it will make the bathroom feel like a relaxing sanctuary.

Next, select a wall and flooring tile. This can be a penny, subway, or hexagonal tile. Choose a variety of varying shades for an overall design scheme.

Textured walls

Adding texture to walls in master bathrooms can add warmth and beauty to a space. This can be achieved with a variety of different materials, installation options, and techniques. A textured wall can give a room an upscale lounge vibe, a rustic rustic charm, or a luxurious luxurious feel. Whether you choose to use a texture that is simple or dramatic, texture can help you define a space and add a unique personality to your bathroom.

Some of the most popular wall texture ideas include crow’s feet, stomp brush, combed, and orange peel. These texturing techniques are easy to apply and can hide wall imperfections.

A combed wall texture is a great way to create a rainbow-like pattern. It is achieved by drawing fine lines along the wall in varying lengths. This texture is popular with homeowners and interior designers.

Glass shower doors

Adding glass shower doors to your master bathroom is a great way to enhance the look of the room. These doors offer a clean, modern look, and allow for unhindered ventilation. You can also highlight your intricate tile work by installing frameless glass shower doors.

Glass doors are available in a variety of styles. There are swinging doors, pivot doors, and side mount hinge doors. You can choose frosted, tinted, or obscure glass to add a unique look to your bathroom.

The amount of glass you choose will depend on your needs. If you plan to install a larger shower, you may need a thicker glass. This will cost more and take longer to install.

The most common glass type for shower doors is clear glass. This lets the most light through and adds to the brightness of the cubicle. If you want a darker appearance, you can opt for a tinted glass. However, this type of glass is slightly opaque, so you may need a light source in the shower stall.

Fireplaces

Adding a fireplace to a master bathroom can add a luxurious touch to your private space. It also provides ambiance and can help de-stress you after a long day.

Bathroom fireplaces come in various designs and styles. Traditional fireplaces are made from real wood, while electric fireplaces are less expensive alternatives. You can also find fireplaces that are direct vent. This means they don’t need combustion air from the bedroom area.

Fireplaces can also be used as a way to separate his and her vanities. You can place a ledge below the fireplace to hold bathing supplies.

Fireplaces are also great for winter relaxation. You can burn firewood in a woven basket, and add incense or scented candles for a more romantic feel.

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The bathroom is often the most overlooked room in your house. It’s easy to see why it’s usually small and hidden away, and it’s probably the last place you’d expect to spend a significant amount of time. But the truth is, the bathroom is one of the most important rooms in your home. It is a functional space for bathing and washing and a social hub for your entire household. So it makes sense that you want to ensure it looks its best. That’s why Vancouver Kitchen Renovation specializes in bathroom renovations. Whether you’re interested in updating your current bathroom or building a brand new one from scratch, we can help you create the perfect space for your whole family. We believe that bathrooms should look spa-like, sustainable, and modern. In addition to being practical spaces, they should also feel warm and inviting. With that in mind, we strive to incorporate natural materials, open floor plans, and lots of light.

We understand that to be successful is to stay ahead of the curve. That means staying current with the latest technology and design trends. We always want to improve our products or services without breaking the bank. That’s why we stay connected to the latest technologies of NKBA, National Kitchen and Bath Association. In addition, at Vancouver Kitchen renovation, our primary focus is providing sustainable bathroom design and renovation packages, and we believe in sustainable living. Sustainable living is a way of life in harmony with nature. It is a lifestyle which focuses on the preservation of our environment. Sustainable living is a philosophy emphasizing respect for the environment and concern for its well-being. This means we should take care of the planet and treat it as if it were our home. We should try to preserve what we have and protect it from destruction. If we do this, we will enjoy the benefits of the earth’s resources for many generations. Whether you’re planning a major remodel or adding finishing touches to your current bathroom, we’d love to discuss your project. Book your showroom consultation online.

Main Areas of Service in British Columbia:

Vancouver

North Vancouver

West Vancouver

Burnaby

Coquitlam

Squamish

Whistler

Frequently Asked Questions

Are mosaic tiles suitable to be used in modern bathrooms?

If you’re using mosaic tiles in modern designs, it would be best to avoid them. They can make your bathroom appear dated and busy. If you love the look of mosaic tiles, try using them as accents around your sink, bathtub or shower.

What does a complete bathroom renovation package include?

A complete bathroom renovation package can include various services, depending on the customer’s needs. These are some of the most common services that may be included:

Bathroom design consultation

3D rendering bathroom design

Waterproofing services using the Schluter System

Services for setting up tiles

Delivery and supply of tiles

Install and Supply in-floor heating systems

All plumbing and lighting fixtures are available for delivery.

All plumbing and electric work carried out by our licensed, certified electricians

The vanity can be delivered, installed, and shipped.

The countertop is supplied, manufactured and installed.

Glass for shower and tub installation.

Demolition and Removal of Existing Fixtures and Materials

Painting and wallpaper services

Can I Install A Bidet In A Small Bathroom?

You can install a bidet inside a small bathroom. However, there are some things to be aware of. First, the location of the bidet must be considered carefully. It should not be too close to the toilet. You should also consider the size and style of the bidet that you select to fit your bathroom. Finally, it would be best if you made sure that the plumbing in your bathroom can accommodate a bidet. If you have any doubts, it is always best to consult a professional before attempting to install a bidet in your small bathroom.

Statistics

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had someone call and say they have an existing old tub (which, 99% of the time, is 60” wide once they’re pulled out) and want to convert the bathtub to a shower. (blog.innovatebuildingsolutions.com)

According to a 2019 remodelling report from the National Association of Realtors, 70 percent of consumers “have a greater desire to be home” after a bathroom renovation, so read on and soak up the secrets. (housebeautiful.com)

2023 bathroom design trends: Floating vanities were favoured by 71% of those surveyed. (https://nkba.org)

Other sustainability instruments developed by Noken include an ‘Eco cartridge’ (its two-position switch makes it possible to use 50% less water and energy), and a water ‘flow rate limiter’ (that uses jets and air to reduce water consumption). (decoist.com)

2023 bathroom design trends: 82% of those surveyed preferred low-maintenance, nonporous surfaces for their bathroom. (https://nkba.org)

NKBA estimates that broken down, most of this cost comes from fixtures and plumbing (about 29 percent), followed by counters and surfaces (21 percent), labour (20 percent), and cabinetry and hardware (16 percent). (remodelista.com)

2023 bathroom design trends: 82% of those surveyed revealed bathrooms are now designed for two-person use. (https://nkba.org)

2023 bathroom design trends: Heated floors were favoured by a substantial 75% of those who responded to the survey.(https://nkba.org)

2023 bathroom design trends: Windows above tubs were favoured by 51% of those surveyed. Skylights were selected by 37% of those surveyed. (https://nkba.org)

Keep in mind: they advise that, all told, your bathroom project should cost no more than 5 to 10 percent of your home’s value. (remodelista.com)

According to the EPA, a conventional toilet uses 1.6 gallons per flush, but that old pink one could use between 3.5 to 7 gallons per flush. (elemental.green)

Glass tile is one of the greenest bathroom flooring options because it can be 100% recycled. (caddetailsblog.com)

External Links

homeadvisor.com

Learn how much it will cost to remodel a bathroom

Where should your money go to remodel your bathroom? | HomeAdvisor

houzz.com

2020 U.S. Houzz Bathroom Trends Study

Houzz

How To

Here are 10 things no one tells you about bathroom renovations

It is often overlooked when it comes time to make home improvements. This room is essential to any home. There are many ways to make your bathroom more beautiful.

These are some ideas to help you transform your bathroom without spending a fortune.

Soften up the Walls – Painting the walls in soft pastel colours like light blue, pink, yellow, or white makes a huge difference in the bathroom’s look. It is subtle but adds a lot more charm to the bathroom.

Add Some Lighting – Lighting fixtures come in many different shapes and sizes. If you are looking to give your bathroom a contemporary feel, you should think about adding some lighting. A lighting fixture is a great way to brighten the room and highlight the wall’s colour. For a less costly option, you can use string lights or small fluorescent lamps to achieve the same result.

Add Storage Space – If your storage space is limited, shelves can be installed above the toilet or beneath the vanity cabinet to provide additional storage. You can use these shelves to store towels, toiletries, or other items that you need close at hand.

Install a shower curtain – Shower curtains are an easy and useful addition to any bathroom. They come in various designs and styles and can be easily customized to match the decor of your bathroom.

Be Creative with Your Towels. Towels can be a great way of bringing life to your bathroom, especially if it has a dull towel rack. Instead of hanging boring towels on a rod, hang some colorful towels. This way, you won’t only get fresh towels but also a bit of fun out of your bathroom.

Bring in Nature – It may seem strange to put plants inside the bathroom, but it creates quite a pleasant atmosphere. Be sure to choose plants that don’t attract insects.

Create a Relaxing Bathroom Atmosphere – You can create a relaxing environment using scented candles and oils. These inexpensive accessories can be used to create a calm ambiance in your bathroom.

Go Green – You don’t necessarily have to install a full-fledged green bathroom to make your bathroom more eco-friendly. One example is to replace your disposable toilet paper roll with a reusable. Switching to green cleaning products is another option.

Transform Your Vanity Cabinet – Vanity cabinets are usually made of plastic, wood, or metal, so you can customize these as you wish. You can alter their design or add new features to the cabinet, or even replace it all.

Get a new toilet paper holder – Your bathroom’s organization and cleanliness will depend on the quality of your toilet paper holder. It’s time to make it more modern. This can be done in many ways, including changing its shape, size, and colour.

The post Master Bathroom Ideas first appeared on Vancouver Kitchen Renovation.

source https://vancouverkitchenrenovation.com/bathrooms/master-bathroom-ideas/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=master-bathroom-ideas

[ofstormsandsaints]

You could do a post about Yui and her outfits when she was still living with her father in the church (along with some headcanons)? It's canon that Yui had a rather austere and humble life, so I'm guessing her clothes were always used or second hand.

It's longer than I expected-

Fashion Headcanon - a Yui Komori lookbook

Humble coquette meets the church girl roaming in a forest full of violets.

-Her colour palette is soft. So, so soft.

-Beige, white, pale pink, baby blue mixed with bits of faded navy blue and brown.

-Loves plaid pattern or those very delicate floral designs on clothes, colours slightly washed out, making everything cohesive.

-Doesn't mind vibrant colours in general. She finds beauty in many, many things but she knows that jewel shades will look garnish on her.

-Yui prefers when her clothes aren't too tight around her chest. Her tops are generally puff sleeved, off-shoulder with ruffles on the neckline to blur the shape of her torso.

-That, even before those fuckers would make her self-conscious about her chest. Pricks.

-When wearing tank tops or t-shirts, she would wear a cardigan or a wrap-up top that has subtle strips of white lace at the end of its sleeves.

-She's simply more confortable with showing her legs or her shoulders. For instance, she loves how her pale curls fall and brush the line of her shoulders. (but the diaboys too😔)

-Knitted mittens, square necklines, lacy lolita socks, vintage chiffon blouse embedded with little flowers, myosotis, daisies, stars of Bethlehem.

-She knows how to sew and to mend her clothes when it's needed. She is cautious with her belongings though.

-Wears second-hand clothes. Because life at the church was obviously more austere and Yui grew without the materialistic need to buy and own stuff just to see it piled up in her closet. Plus, she never wanted to appear spoiled rotten or anything.

-But she likes second hand clothes also because the fabric is soft. It's comforting for her to know that the clothes she owns now, had a life before.

-These grandma blouses with small embroidered details on the sleeves or on the collar ? Stan.

-Second hand fashion allowed her to explore a different sense of fashion - to create outfits that looked good on her and not trying to look like models in magazines. So you can find a sweet blending of reminiscent 2000s and 60s fashion in the way she dresses.

-Keeps her outfits simple and practical all in all, because she's known for being quite active.

-She cooks, cleans, helps the nuns in the garden or during charitable works.

-Therefore, she would never wear heels too high, skirts too long or too short.

-When going out to do some groceries, she always ends up looking at some shops, as there is something soothing for her in watching all these different clothes and shoes displayed behind the window. She doesn't buy anything, but she envies just a little bit the groups of girls who enter these shops, giggling and ready to buy something nice.

-No jeans or leather jackets like the girls of her age. Her father didn't allow her to wear those - he never even bought her clothes.

-Well. Not never never, but until very late, Seiji would only gift her books, stationary supplies, some tea...but never clothes, makeup or jewellery. This, combined with a certain solitude and the absence of a feminine figure in her life, Yui didn't have much choice but to observe a lot. She wanted to care about her appearance. She didn't know how at first.

-Interestingly, books and art influenced her style. Without even realising it, Yui would become the modern version of spring faerie, living a peaceful life in rhythm with the bell and the services.

-Spends hours making jewellery.

-The floral hair pins and the matching necklace? Her doing.

-She is crafty and loves doing activities that require patience and creativity, pearls glistening under the sun, tinkering with little hearts and stars. Nothing complicated. Just what she needs to give that graceful faerie twist to her outfit.

-She works like this, at her vanity or on a bench outside, in front of the garden for hours. Sewing or crafting the most precious details that no one except her will notice. She works until her eyes are tired and the tea remaining at the bottom of her cup is cold. But it is during time like this, that she feels the most a peace. The happiest.

[volkswagonblues]

a lil guide to the Fire Nation for the ATLA fic writers out there

(aka. a no means exhaustive primer on east asia by an asian person)

This is a guide for fic writers want to write a canon-era story set in the Fire Nation, or featuring Fire Nation characters. A quick little primer on the tiny details of everyday life that you might not think about, but certainly stuff that would make me, an asian person, wince if I were to encounter it. BRUSHES, not quills. CHOPSTICKS, not forks. 

(note #1: this was partly inspired by a chat with @elilim​) 

(note: #2:  I originally intended it for zukka fic writers before realizing that other writers might find it useful. so apologies for a slight Zuko-bias for that reason)

(note #3: this is all stuff i was thinking about when writing firebender’s guide, in case anyone was wondering)

1. CLOTHING

Okay, I think the most straightforward way to describe what everyone’s wearing most of the time is “tunic”. They’re all just...tunics of different colours and varieties. Later when Zuko’s the Fire Lord he wears robes. The show provides a better visual guide than I could, here are a few notes to keep in mind:

a) Japanese people wear their collars LEFT crossed over RIGHT

I don’t think this would come up in writing as much as it would in art, but it’s considered bad luck to do it the wrong way because that’s only for dead people. Let my boy Zuko demonstrate:

b) There are no buttons

This is picky, but Wikipedia says “Functional buttons with buttonholes for fastening or closing clothes appeared first in Germany in the 13th century.[6] They soon became widespread with the rise of snug-fitting garments in 13th- and 14th-century Europe.” I kinda believe it. If you look closely, characters’ clothes are always tied together or wrapped in some way with a belt. If there are fasteners, they’re braided frog closures that go into a little loop, like the qipao-style dresses women wear in Ba Sing Se, or Zuko’s casual prince’s clothes in the topmost image. Anyways, I don’t think Zuko or Azula or the Gaang would technically button or unbutton anything when they’re changing clothes. Clothing is designed to be tied, not buttoned.

[so much more under cut]

c) This isn’t a real rule, but there’s something called koromogae, or the seasonal changing of clothing in Japan.

This is something I learned when I was writing firebender’s guide, and I just liked the fun detail about there being a strict calendar for when to wear something. I liked the idea of someone like Zuko, who actually spent most of his formative years outside of the Fire Nation, coming home and just suffering mutely through the summer heat because upper class etiquette says no changing into cooler clothes until August 15. 

From My Asakusa: 

And this website:

Generally, people change from thick, heavy, dark-coloured clothes for winter to thin, lighter, bright-coloured clothes for spring and summer. In traditional Japanese culture, particularly in formal settings such as tea ceremony, it is important to acknowledge the changes of seasons—in such circumstances, not only the patterns and colours of the kimono that are worn but also the utensils and furniture that are used are required to change. By changing their clothing, people notice and appreciate the change of seasons. [Japan Foundation]

Here are some visual guides from the official creators for clothes: (notice how it’s pretty much always left over right)

2.FOOD AND EATING

a) Traditional cuisine

It seems like the most common foods in canon are Fire Flakes and meat, to the point where poor Aang had to eat lettuce out of the garbage at some point.

HOWEVER, the Fire Nation seems to basically a big subtropical archipelago, so I would guess that seafood and rice are common. If you want to write about characters eating, a. quick google for “traditional japanese cuisine” would help you come up with a menu really quickly.

Wikipedia says:

The traditional cuisine of Japan, washoku (和食), lit. "Japanese eating" (or kappō (ja:割烹)), is based on rice with miso soup and other dishes; there is an emphasis on seasonal ingredients. Side dishes often consist of fish, pickled vegetables, and vegetables cooked in broth. Seafood is common, often grilled, but also served raw as sashimi or in sushi.

But before we get too serious, at one point the Gaang eats a “smoked sea slug” (Sokka’s Master) 

Oh ATLA, never stop being you.

b) Utensils

One thing to keep in mind is chopstick etiquette. Someone like Zuko or Toph, for instance, would have completely internalized all of these.

Another thing is that there are no glasses. Cups and bowls are made of ceramic or clay. Let the Gaang show you:

And another note: characters won’t eat “bread” in the European sense, ie. a baked lump of dough. Steamed buns, yes. Fried pancakes made from batter, yes. Flatbreads, okay I’ll give it a pass. Rice or noodles should be the most common carbs of choice.

3.ETIQUETTE

“In the homeland, we bow to our elders” - angry schoolmistress in The Headband.

Japan Guide has a list of etiquette rules for visiting Japan, which is interesting but not too necessary to read. In general, based on what The Headband tells us, Fire Nation characters would have been raised with a strong nationalist curriculum that values communal contribution over individualist expression. Even someone like Zuko, who openly rebels against that, probably couldn’t help but be affected by it. In general the Fire Nation seems to have an East Asian-ish set of values. It’s patriarchal, all the positions of authority are filled by men; there seems to be a strong emphasis on patriotism; there’s a sense of diffidence and respect towards one’s elders; and finally, there’s an emphasis on “knowing” one’s place in society and fitting into what’s expected of oneself.

I don’t really know how to describe it, but in China and Japan I sometimes feel like there’s rules for everything, and even people born and raised there acknowledge it could be stifling at times. You could go down a rabbit hole researching points of etiquette (for instance, rules on who has to sit where in group dinners...), but to me the most important thing is acknowledging that Fire Nation has a rigid system of etiquette, and also, they’re an imperialist power who’s pretty prejudiced against foreigners. Poor Aang/Kuzon gets called “mannerless colony slob” just for being slow on the bowing action (!!!)

(in firebender’s guide I had a lot of fun imagining the stupid microaggressions Ambassador Sokka has to face in the Fire Nation, so obviously I’m just biased)

4.WRITING AND DESKS

Characters would probably write on paper, with a calligraphy brush. Not quills or pens -- a brush. Technically, old Japanese and Chinese texts should be written top to bottom, right to left, but the show itself doesn’t do this, so I think you’re fine. 

One fun thing about traditional calligraphy is that you don’t use bottled ink. You have something called an ink stone, and then you grind your ink yourself by rubbing the ink stone in a special little dish with a bit of water. In my (very few) encounters with this stuff in the calligraphy lessons of my youth, the ink stones can be plain or have beautiful designs on the side. It looks something like this: 

ATLA is an East Asian-ish universe, so characters are likely to be kneeling at a table, not sitting. To demonstrate, here’s my boy Sokka doing his famous rainbow at Piandao’s:

and here’s the war chamber meeting when Zuko speaks out against a general’s plans to sacrifice some soldiers:

THERE ARE EXCEPTIONS: This is Zuko’s cute little setup when he’s writing his goodbye letter to Mai. In this case he’s writing in a chair and table. It’s possible that some furniture items, like a sitting desk and a bed in a bedframe (not a bedroll or futon) are special royal palace features. Normally in a private setting we see characters sitting on the ground or on a slightly elevated platform with a low table. Maybe Caldera is just different? Or rich people are just different: the Bei Fongs also have a sit-down dining table + chair setup.

(That little rectangular box is his ink dish!!)

5.A NOTE ON GENERAL CULTURE

It’s worth talking about a few general points of East Asian culture. I can’t claim to speak for ALL of Asia, and I don’t think I should. But I do think ATLA fic writers who want to set something in the Fire Nation should take a few moments to at least skim the wiki pages for filial piety and Nihonjinron (literally, "theories/discussions about the Japanese"). There’s a certain...vibe to...asianness... that I’m not sure I can explain without like, a doctorate degree in sociology. 

It’s a bit like gender, I guess. There’s no definitive checklist to what is a woman and what is a man, and we can argue that gender is performative, that it’s a construct, but at the end of the day gender is still (tragically) real in the sense that it still shapes people and affects how we walk and talk and dress and think. Nationality is the same. Obviously, the Fire Nation is a made up place in a made up show, but out of respect to the cultures that inspired it, I do think it’s worth familiarizing yourself with some of these cultures’ codes and values.

Also, ahem, if I can direct you to war crimes in the Japan’s colonial empire. Again, worth remembering that the Fire Nation was an imperalist colonizer too.

I might do a continuation of this post and talk through my more abstract takes about Fire Nation culture - Is Zuko an example of filial piety gone right or filial piety gone wrong? Why I think Zuko’s flashbacks are like, at least part teenage melodrama bullshit (the reason is son preference), how someone like Sokka might be treated once he’s openly Water Tribe in the Fire Nation (probably with racism...), specific aspects of asian homophobia and racism, etc. We’ll see.

This is not a definitive guide. Comments and critique welcome.

If you think there’s a factual mistake, PLEASE hop in my asks and let me know. I also think there’s a huge blind spot in ATLA for South and Southeast Asian representation, so I acknowledge that I can’t speak for all Asians, and there is no such thing as a “pan-asian” identity.

If there’s something else you’re curious about, I’m not a historian or anything, but I like research. Ask me and I’ll try to answer the best I can.

And oh, one last thing, this is how I do research when I wrote firebender’s guide, in case anyone’s interested in learning more (LINK)

[ascarimo]

After Class - [Professor!Lando]

A/N: Requested on Wattpad

WORDCOUNT: 2.2K+

WARNINGS: nsfw (teacher x student plot, unprotected sex)

SYNOPSIS: You're one of Lando's students, and he's your Arts professor. You have a question about a project, and therefore you ask if you can stay after class.

When reading the description of the extra course you were about to choose, you weren't exactly sure if it would be a good choice. Nevertheless, you thought a semester of art class would mean easy credits added to your study, and therefore you selected the course, taking it next to the other courses of your study. Art and design had always interested you, especially the designing of clothing, and it would also be fun to take this course as an extra effort. Ever since you met the professor of the course, Professor Norris, it was your favorite course. The Brit taught the class four hours a week, a lecture and a seminar. You had to admit that his good looks and his charming, bright character are the main part why you loved the course as well. The exam period was coming up soon, and for the art class, Mr. Norris gave his class the assignment to design their own clothing line.

And it was harder than you thought. Two weeks before the exam period, Professor Norris gave his students the time to work on it in class, where they could ask him questions as well. After the last seminar, all the students had three more weeks to finish the project and hand it in. You were struggling with the color scheme, yet confident about the design. You felt like you were stuck in your project, and whatever you tried, it didn't seem to work. Luckily, you had the chance to ask your professor today. You were right on time for his class to start, and with your laptop, you sat down in one of the middle rows of the classroom. The seminar group was small, which you liked, as the setting was a lot cozier with just eight students, instead of a large group. Professor Norris hopped on his desk, looking around the class. He was wearing a ripped pair of jeans, a slightly large shirt, and some sneakers he had designed and created himself.

"Good afternoon, everyone, we're just going to repeat the seminar from last week. You have the time to work on your projects and ask about anything you need help with. Feel free to put some headphones on or anything," Professor Norris told his students, which made most of them nod in agreement. You looked up at him, his lips twitching upwards when his eyes met yours. You smiled back at him before starting up your laptop, logging into your account, and selecting the file of your project. You scrolled through it, silence filling the classroom as everyone was either busy or on their phone. You looked around, waiting for the first one to step towards Professor Norris' desk, but neither of the others did. You were hesitant to ask him something so soon, just after the start of the class. You remained seated for a while, however, he seemed to notice your pondering, and when you looked up again, he stood at your table. "What are you working on?" Mr. Norris asked.

"Ehm, well..." You started with a soft laugh. "I started on this, but I don't like it a lot," you admitted, turning your laptop to show him, feeling slightly nervous. He leaned his hands on the table, and your eyes glided over his arms, the veins bulging up over his tanned skin. You were quick to divert your eyes elsewhere. "What don't you like about it?" he asked. "It's too basic. I think it needs more... me" "You." You said at the same time, causing you to laugh softly, and so did he. "Think of something that describes your life, your personality, think of symbols or sayings that mean a lot to you, and try to work that in. You have a great base, so just some more creativity is needed," Professor Norris told you, and you looked into his eyes. You nodded slowly, feeling your face growing hot under his gaze. "Thank you," you choked out, gnawing your teeth into your bottom lip as he gave you a grin. Mr. Norris was young, about your age, and he was doing his internship at your university, and he was undeniably hot.

You were continuing on your project throughout the class, yet you were still not satisfied with the current look of it. You weren't sure what kind of things to design along with it, and you decided to stay behind to ask some more. "Mr. Norris? Would it be okay for me to stay behind for some minutes?" you asked, standing up as the others did so too. "Of course," Lando replied to you, wishing the others a great day and good luck with their projects. Your eyes glided over his appearance once more. You liked that his style was different from the other professors, who were dressed in tight suits. He was young, seemed the have the same mindset as his students, which automatically caused his classes to be so much more fun. The other students now walked out of the classroom, and you picked up your laptop to take it to his desk. "To improve the design I'd like to see it in 3D, but I can't get this programme to work," you sighed.

"You do have the updated version downloaded, right?" Professor Norris asked, moving next to you and glancing at your screen. "Yes," you replied. "Some of the functions are hidden a little, let me try," Lando took your laptop, briefly watching when you leaned back against his desk. The skirt you were wearing looked very flattering on you, but Lando diverted his eyes from your figure. He was distracted by the move you made when leaning against his desk with your hands, pushing your upper body slightly forward, the off-shoulder blouse you were wearing nearly showed the swell of your cleavage. Lando cleared his throat, swallowing hard as he opened the menu on the designing program on your laptop. "Could you get the charger, please?" Lando asked then, the battery was still 30 percent, but he watched you nod and turn around to your bag.

His teeth dug into his lower lip when your skirt floated around your legs, the material riding slightly upwards from the movement when you picked up your bag and got the charger out. "Thanks," Lando muttered. "If you come on my side, I can show you how it works," Lando said then, and you made your way around his desk. He was close to you, and you could feel the heat of his body radiating off him. His long fingers were pointing to the screen, making your eyes dart over to them instead. The pull in your lower abdomen worsened each time his hands came in sight, making you squeeze your thighs together subtly. "Is it understandable?" Lando asked. "J-just once more how to activate..." Your breath hitched in your throat when his fingers brushed over the back of your thighs. "To activate?" Lando hummed.

Professor Norris rose from his seat, and you looked up at him meanwhile, words stuck in your mouth. "Tell me, darling," he ushered, making a step forward. The back of your thighs hit his desk, and you shuffled onto it. "I-I think it's clear now," you stammered. "Are you sure? You can stay a little longer if you want," Professor Norris replied while his fingertips trailed up your legs, feeling the soft material of your skirt. "Unless I make you uncomfortable," he was quick to add, and you looked into his bright eyes. You shook your head, your lashes fluttering when his lips hovered over yours. "This is so inappropriate," you muttered, feeling his lips on yours. "But you're so pretty, and we're the same age," he replied, giving you a taste of his lips. "My best student," Lando continued, his hands curling around your waist.

"That's not true," you laughed, gnawing down on your bottom lip when his nose nuzzled against your cheek, a sweet peck following. "Always so sweet in the middle row, working so hard," Lando told you, his fingers riding up the material of your blouse, feeling your bare skin. "Let me reward you, darling," his voice was husk, raspy in your ear, and you were addicted to the scent of his cologne that lingered around him. You adored the feeling of his fingers wrapped around your waist. Lando lifted his head and finally kissed your lips, humming lowly when he felt the pressure of your mouth kissing him back. His tongue glided over the seam of your lips, deepening the kiss. You joined the sway of his tongue, feeling your body heating up. Lando shivered lightly when he felt your fingers weaving into the curls in the nape of his neck.

His hands traveled over your lower back to your behind, his palms squeezing your hips before pulling you a little more forward. You whimpered softly when he kissed the corner of your mouth, down your jaw and to your neck. A shiver ran up your spine when he kissed the delicate skin of your neck, nibbling and sucking down your throat while one of his hands slipped under your skirt. "We've got to be quick, my love. Another class will be here in fifteen minutes," Lando apologized. Your mind could barely process what he said as soon as his hand squeezed the apex of your thigh, his fingertips brushing over the lace edge of your panties. You hummed softly when three of Lando's fingers moved over your clothed core. The feeling of your damp panties made him twitch in his jeans, and he started to stimulate your clothed nub of nerve endings to get you soaking. After teasing you shortly, he shoved your panties aside, and you looked down at his hand.

You bunched your skirt up around your waist, watching his fingers flex and the muscles in his arms tightening when he entered you swiftly. Your head fell back with a moan, but his lips were soon back on yours to shush you. "Sssh, be quiet, babe. It's our little secret," Lando whispered against your lips, his fingers curling up against your front wall right away, his thumb circling over your pulsing clit while he created the most delicious rhythm. His fingers stimulated the most sensitive spots, and had you trembling on his desk within a couple minutes. "Such a good girl," Professor Norris praised, watching your eyelids flutter while he felt your walls getting wetter and tighten around his digits. You cursed under your breath, trying your hardest to remain silent while your orgasm ripped through you. Lando licked his fingers clean, undoing his jeans and zipping down the denim.

His underwear was pushed out of the way, and his palm wrapped around his shaft that stood tall. The girth of his cock, the veins running over them, caused your mouth to water. Lando pulled you a little more to the edge of his desk, the round head of his length briefly moving through your folds before he bottomed you out right away. There was no time to go slow, and his pace went to fucking you into his desk with a hard, deep pace that had you nearly whining under the firm grip of his hands on your hips. It was so good, it felt so amazing, raw, hot, and the fact that he's your professor and you're his student nearly tipped you over the edge right away. "That's it, love," Lando grunted lowly when your core contracted around him, walls squeezing him tight. The tip of his cock brushed over your gathering of nerve endings each time, creating the state of frenzy you floated in.

Lando looked down at your blissed out expressions, admiring the furrow of your eyebrows, and your lips parted with soft breaths. Your hands were curled around his lower arms, your nails digging slightly into his skin. The white hot pleasure washed over you soon enough, briefly blurring your vision. The throbbing of his release against your inner walls prolonged the feeling of ecstasy. Lando reached for some tissues, helping you to clean up a little before you pulled your panties up again, and you adjusted your skirt and your blouse. Lando did the same, then moved to open some windows to let in some fresh air, which caused you both to laugh. You went to get your bag, and meanwhile Lando shoved a note your way. "This is my number, in case you need some more help with your project," he said, a grin curling his lips.

"Thanks," you chuckled, taking the note with you. "Maybe we can discuss it over dinner this weekend, you can text me your availability," he continued, approaching you again while you held onto the handles of your bag. "If you want to, of course," he added, his fingers moving under your chin and gently caressing your cheeks. "I'd love to, Professor Norris," you said, your eyes flickering up to his. His jaw slacked briefly before he grinned again. "Great, good luck with your project till then, Y/N," Lando said and walked you to the door. You smiled at him over your shoulder, walking down the hallway. Lando leaned against the door, shaking his head at himself, knowing he was crazy about you whether you were his student or not.

[redpandaramblings]

The Art of Blind Dates. Deku x GN! Reader

This piece was written for @rat-zuki 's the deku agenda escapes no one collab. Happy Birthday to our favorite broccoli.

Content warning- This fic rated PG-13. Aged up characters, Allusions to sexual activity, swearing, gender neutral reader.

“You know, we really have to stop meeting like this.”

You jumped, the spray can you had been using left an unsightly streak of bright red across your masterpiece. You scowled behind your mask as you turned to face the man who had spoken.

“We do. You keep making me mess up my hard work!”

You smirked, pleased with yourself as you saw Deku, the number one pro hero, recoil at the sight of your mask. It had taken a few weeks to convert the All Might mask into an ahegao face, but it was worth it if it horrified your number one pain in the ass. Izuku blinked a few times, sighing and bringing a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. He was clearly choosing to ignore your choice of disguise.

“I wouldn’t have to mess with your work if you chose to do things that were, you know, actually legal? You’re talented, Brushstroke. You could get paid to do murals or something instead of…” Deku gestured towards your latest creation. You were rather proud of it. It had taken a good amount of planning to manage to paint a fifty foot tall mural of pro hero Dynamight mooning the city with the bold caption ‘The Hero Commision can kiss my ass.’ It would be perfect if not for the red streak from where Deku had startled you. With a contemplative hum you shook your spray can and quickly turned the offending mark into a cartoonish lipstick print. Midoriya sighed heavily. “I’m standing right here, you know.”

“I know.” You grinned behind your mask. The voice distorter you used did nothing to hide your chipper tone. “I also know you like it. And you can’t tell me Dynamight wouldn’t love it. He literally said that on live interview!”

“Yes, but not with his pants down to his knees.”

You bent over, throwing your cans of spray paint and climbing gear into your duffle bag. It wouldn’t do for your nemesis to get his hands on some of the tools you used. Mei’s stamp was all over it.

“Which is such a shame. The man’s got cake for days.” You chuckled as Deku pulled a face.

He observed you, hands on his hips. “And where do you think you’re going?”

“Away, obviously.” You said as you threw the strap of your dufflebag across you.

“And I’m just going to let you go?”

“Oh no. You’re going to chase me like you always do. And I’m going to escape like I always do. And it’s going to drive you crazy because you can’t figure out how I keep doing it.” You began stretching, exaggerating each movement.

“A teleportation quirk isn’t that hard to figure out.” Izuku began stretching as well, rolling his shoulders and popping joints.

“Guess again.” You sing songed, bouncing on your toes.

“Wouldn’t have to guess if you just told me.”

“But that’s no fun. Unfortunately, I do have to be going. Catch you later, hot stuff!” And with a sprint, you raced to the side of the building and jumped off before activating your quirk.

Time slowed around you. It was like you were hovering in the air instead of falling. Freeze Frame was a quirk you had learned to perfect over the years. Between the quirk and the assorted gadgets in your bag and on your person, it was definitely enough to baffle the number one pro hero. Speaking of, you better work quickly before your quirk wore off and splatted you across the sidewalk.

Freeze Frame was named after what your quirk looked like from the outside. It was as if you teleported, or you had frozen time around you for everyone except yourself. In reality, you were a speedster. When your quirk was active, you were able to move at speeds so fast you were undetectable to others, and to you it seemed like everything was paused in time. You probably could have been a phenomenal hero or villain if you wanted. But currently, it was much more fun to thwart a certain green haired man.

With a press of a button, you deployed a grappling hook, snagging it on the building across the alley. You swung over, keeping a countdown in your head. Would you be lucky enough and have time to…? Yes. There! A balcony door was cracked open slightly. You gracefully landed on the balcony and used the door to slip into what appeared to be someone’s bedroom, thankfully unoccupied at the moment. Taking no chances though, you slip into the closet just as the effects of your quirk wear off. The other reason you had never turned to heroism or villainy- no matter how much you trained, you could only keep your quirk activated for ten seconds at a time. It wasn’t a lot. Plus you could only activate your quirk a couple dozen times a day without getting seriously ill. But it still was usually more than enough to be able to give any law enforcement the slip. Just like now.

Deku curses as he runs to the edge of the roof. You’re nowhere to be seen. “Brushstroke! Get back here, you damn brat!” He shouted, running a hand through his hair in frustration. One of these days he was going to figure out your quirk and how to counteract it. And when that day comes he was going to take you over his knee and… No. He shook his head, blushing to clear his thoughts. What to do with you. Well, he wasn’t sure yet. You weren’t a villain, really. More of a public nuisance. The murals you did showed a lot of talent and a good chunk of the population agreed with the social commentary behind them. But that didn’t change that you had painted ten foot tall asscheeks on a building without permission. And, technically, it was within his job description to apprehend you. “Brushstroke!” Deku called again as he made his way down to the ground. There was no sign of you anywhere. Invisibility quirk maybe? Though it would be unusual if you could turn all the stuff you had been wearing and carrying invisible as well.

Meanwhile, as Izuku was getting lost in thought, you were getting naked. You stripped out of your gear and paint covered smock, moving as quickly as you dared while still remaining quiet in your hidden location. Just because the bedroom had been empty doesn’t mean the rest of the place was, after all. You shoved everything into your dufflebag, pulling out a clean set of clothing from a zippered pocket. Getting changed was a simple affair, as was ruffling your hair, messily getting it to look like a different style. One of your favorite tricks happened when you pushed a hidden button on the edge of your duffle bag. The previously dull gray bag quickly morphed into a loud riot of tye dyed color. Chameleon bags, Hatsume called them. Still in a prototype stage, your friend and employer would probably make a mint on them if you put them on the market. After a final brush off and deciding you looked acceptably civilian, you peeked out the closet door. The bedroom was still empty. You crept out slowly. The balcony wasn’t a feasible exit anymore. Not without the gear you had had to store away. You were going to have to sneak out the front door. You activated your quirk, feeling a little queasy at having to use it again so quickly in succession. It was simple to race through the apartment and out into the hall within your short time limit. In fact, with your speed, you were easily able to exit the entire apartment complex. You still had a few seconds to spare when you shot out the door. You grinned at seeing the number one pro hero standing in the middle of the street. You knew you shouldn’t do what you were thinking. Instead you should use your last few spare seconds to put some distance between yourself and the large, green haired man. Instead, you quickly dug around in your bag and found your tube of lipstick. You applied a nice thick coat as you waltzed up to him. With a giggle, you planted a firm smacking kiss on his cheek, leaving behind a clear and perfect lip print. With a grin, you hurried back to the apartment complex. It was easy to make it seem like you were just coming out of the door as time snapped back to its proper speed. You watched, hiding your smirk as you observed the clearly frustrated hero scanning the crowds for any sign of you. His eyes passed right over you, barely giving you a glance. You almost felt hurt that he thought your normal look was that unremarkable. But that was the point, after all. As Deku continued to call out for your pseudonym, you turned and walked away, blending into the crowd. You were almost out of earshot when you heard a loud cursing exclamation that would have been more in character for a certain blond hero. You bite your knuckle to muffle your laughter. Someone had informed Deku of the lipstick mark.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sipped from a bottle of water as you watched Mei work her magic. It was strangely relaxing to watch her in her element. Though it seemed chaotic the first few times you had witnessed your friend work, there was a clear method to the madness if you just knew where to look. And you knew exactly where to look now that you had been working with her for the past three years. You were simply listed as one of her assistants. Most days that involved a random jumble of cleaning, paperwork, schedule management, and coffee making. The real reason Hatsume loved having you around however, was days like this.

“Okay! Set!” She chirped happily. “You good to go now?”

You nodded as you slid down, and walked into the testing area. “Remind me what I’m looking for again?”

“Well, obviously the usual. Make sure it’s not lethal, of course. And then I want to make sure the grid is deploying at the right time. Should be about a quarter second after detonation.”

“As long as everything looks good, want me to be full blown dummy this time?”

Hatsume tilted her head, and considered a moment before nodding. “Yeah, should be fine. Have the explosive levels where they should be. If anything messes up it’s going to be the grid deploying too soon or too late and not restraining you right.”

You gave her a thumbs up as you got into position. She counted down, though that didn’t matter much to you, honestly. One of the best perks of your quirk was that it gave you insane reflexes. You waited until the moment you saw the detonation begin to happen and activated your quirk.

As usual, it felt like time slowed to a crawl around you. Hollywood directors would give a kidney to have access to the detailed slow motion you could experience every day for free. You walked around the device, looking it over. It was meant to be a capture aid for pro hero Cellophane, a small explosive that would shoot nets of tape in all directions. It had to be safe and effective. Better to have a few civilians stuck to the walls than to risk letting a villain escape, after all. You peered into the explosion that was slowly rippling outward. Everything looked good so far… Yep, there were the grids starting to deploy. Sure that everything was safe, you deactivated your quirk and instantly were thrown backward and stuck to a padded wall of the testing room.

“Looked great!” You called as Hatsume entered the room. “I think you’ve finally got it!”

While she cheered and began praising her baby for performing so well, you tried wiggling. No luck. You were stuck rather firmly. Apparently she had upped the strength of the adhesive. After a minute, Hatsume finally noticed your struggles.

“Oh good!” She chirped. “Looks like the new formula is holding up nicely. I mean, I still need to test it out against, like strength and fire quirks, but looking good so far.”

“Little help, please?” You ask, giving her a look.

“Maybe in a bit.” She said, turning her back and leaving you there, pinned. “Want to test how long it holds. Besides, I have some questions about your last escapade and how my babies held up.”

You let out a resigned sigh. Of course. Your friend had found out about your after hours hobby about a year and a half ago. Instead of discouraging you, it hadn’t surprised you that much when she blackmailed you. She wouldn’t tell the police or heroes…. If you used some of her experimental babies on your future excursions. You had been dubious. Hatsume’s babies could be a little dangerous in the prototype stage. But it ended up working great! Your pieces went from small tagging jobs to huge fifty foot murals. Though that had caught the attention of a few public figures, including a certain green haired pain in your ass.

“I didn’t use anything directly against Deku this time.” You sighed, going limp to test if the tape would hold your weight. It did. “Grappling hook works great. The painter drones are okay for filling in large areas, but aren’t able to do clean lines well. The gecko boots continue to be amazing, but the gloves need a lot of work. The control for when they release still isn’t great.”

Hatsume nodded, quickly making notes about everything you said. There was a bit of a quick back and forth where she asked questions and you answered. Though ten minutes passed and you were still stuck to the wall. She eventually sets her notes aside and turns to face you fully. “So,” she drawls. “You saw Deku again.”

“I always see Deku nowadays!” You groan. “I swear Mei, if I find out you’re tipping him off or something...”

“Aww, come on! He’s nice! Would you rather be dealing with Dynamight?”

You frowned, not meeting her gaze. “I mean, the variety might be nice?”

“You like that with the help of my babies you’re able to out fox the number one pro hero, admit it!”

“It might be a little satisfying,” you mutter.

“And it doesn’t hurt that he’s hot either! Heard you two get all flirty during chases. The tabloids loved the kiss mark, by the way. Enjoy finally kissing him?”

“Hatsume!” you groan. “Subject change, please! Anything else!”

“Anything?” she grins at you.

“Oh god, I’m going to regret this.”

“It’s not that bad, I promise! Just, would you be interested in a blind date?”

You blink. “A date?”

“Yeah! One of my friends from school has a lot of trouble meeting people organically. You know how the industry is. Ridiculous schedules, maintaining reputation, trying to make sure they like you for you and aren’t just a fan.”

“Yeah… I guess I can understand that.”

“Well, I just think you and him would be a great fit! He’s a huge nerd in a lot of the same ways you are, but a real good guy once you get past the awkward. Plus,” Hatsume dropped her voice to a conspiratorial whisper “I happen to know for a fact that he’s a fan of Brushstroke’s work.”

You sighed, rolling your eyes. “You know it’s extortion to try to get me to agree when you have me literally taped to a wall.”

“I know!” Hatsume chirped happily. “So are you going to agree? I made the adhesive pretty strong this time. Who knows how long it would take to wear off on it’s own?”

“Bitch!” You can’t help laughing. “Alright, alright, I’ll go. Just get me down from here!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You fidgeted with the ring you were wearing as you stared at the building in front of you. Maybe it wasn’t too late to bail? You don’t know exactly what you had been expecting when Hatsume had told you about the somewhat shy, nerdy man she had set you up with, but you hadn’t expected him to choose the fanciest restaurant in town as your date location. You were wearing your best and still felt underdressed. Well, if the date was a disaster, at least you knew what building you were going to spray paint next. The glistening white exterior would make for a great canvas. You chuckled quietly at your own thoughts.

Squaring your shoulders, you took a deep breath and marched in. You could do this. You were an infamous tagger. You faced off against the number one pro hero regularly. Your day job was working with Hatsume. You’ve got this. With an air of newfound confidence, you gave your name to the maitre d. It was a surprise when you were led through the restaurant to one of their private curtained rooms. This guy you’d been set up with was apparently going all out. Maybe you were going to like him after all, you thought as you were ushered in. Then you looked up.

Fuck.

Standing to greet you with a stupidly flustered look on his damn stupid handsome face was your nemisis. The number one thorn in your proverbial side. The giant broccoli himself.

That BITCH had set you up with Izuku Midoriya!

You froze. In the back of your mind you were aware that your mouth was hanging open. The green haired man shifted his weight from foot to foot. “Hi,” he said quietly, scratching the back of his head.

You continued to stare.

He cleared his throat, glancing to the side. “Sorry about the secrecy, but I think it’s understandable.”

You nodded weakly.

Izuku bit his lip. You realized with a start that he might be even more nervous than you are. As much as you planned to murder Hatsume later, this wasn’t Midoriya’s fault. You could get through this date at least. Eat some expensive food, drink the best wines, make some meaningless conversation, say your goodbyes, and then go home to plot the demise of your former best friend. Long, slow painful demise. Good thing about being an artist, you had lots of traps, so clean up should be easy. Looking at the worried expression on Izuku’s face, you realize with a start that you still haven’t actually said anything to him. You open your mouth to offer some sort of generic greeting. But what comes out is-

“I’m going to fucking murder Mei!”

Izuku blinks. Blinks again. Then he starts laughing loudly. He leans one hand on the table as he cackles. You stare before starting to chuckle yourself. Soon you’re both wheezing with laughter. You both slump into your seats, trying to collect yourselves. Midoriya speaks first.

“Yeah, I… I get that. I’d think that’s a common emotion when hanging around Hatsume.”

You can’t help your smile. “Only at least half of the time. But that’s what makes it fun. No one else like her.”

“That’s for sure.” Izuku leaned back in his seat, looking you over like he’s studying you. “So, I suppose we should actually introduce ourselves. I’m Izuku Midoriya. I do hero work.”

You laugh. “Y/N Y/L/N. I work for Mei and freelance art when I can.”

“Art, huh? What kind of stuff do you do?”

You’re briefly interrupted by the arrival of the first course. After the waiter leaves, Deku apologies. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to order for you, but this is one of those places where you pay them and they tell you what you’re going to eat.”

“It’s fine.” You say as you stare at the delicate wisp of some sort of thinly shaved vegetable with a dollop of strangely colored foam on top.

“You were saying what kind of art you do?” Deku cautiously was poking at the tiny fancy appetizer.

“A few different things really, but my passion is mural work. Latest job was in a maid cafe. They wanted something cute and floral, but they let me do what I wanted within that theme.”

The night continued on and was surprisingly easy. The food was delicious, the wine was better, and you were pleasantly surprised by the company. Maybe it was the wine softening you up, but as you looked across the table where Izuku was animatedly talking about how influential All Might’s example had been for him, you admitted to yourself that the green haired man was very handsome. And funny. And interesting. And you were trying very hard not to think about the way Midoriya’s large scarred hand wrapped around the delicate wine glass. It was a surprise when the final course was finished and Izuku was quietly taking care of the bill. He escorted you out of the building and you both stood awkwardly outside. Deku cleared his throat.

“If it’s not presuming too much, I’m not quite ready for tonight to end. Is it alright if I walk you home?”

“I’d like that. Like that a lot, actually.”

He smiled at you, and it was like the sun. You walked and talked animatedly. The conversation was so easy and fun, and a little flirty. Somewhere along the way your hands brushed together and holding hands became the most natural thing in the world. Time flew by as you walked together, your true destination long forgotten. You were only brought back to reality when out of the corner of your eye you saw a massive mural of pro hero asscheeks. When Izuku saw what you were looking at, he groaned.

“Could you please not check out my friend’s ass while we’re on a date?” He joked, gently elbowing your ribs. You laughed.

“I mean, you can’t blame me. It’s hard to miss.” You made a mental note to tell Mei that her paint formula was holding up beautifully.

“It’s a little embarrassing. Brushstroke is talented and all, but every mural is a time I couldn’t catch them.”

Maybe it was the wine still buzzing through your system. Maybe it was the thrill of it. Maybe you just wanted to see those beautiful green eyes widen. But you couldn’t help the next words out of your mouth.

“Well you might have an easier time if you ever actually figured my quirk out.”

“Yeah I…” He stopped. Stared. “You…” He stared harder, pulling away slightly as he looked your figure up and down. “You!!!”

“Surprise?” You laughed, and grinned at him. He was always so handsome when he was angry. You weren’t scared at all as he hauled you close.

“Do you have any idea how infuriating you are?”

“Pretty good idea, actually.”

“You’ve been leading me on goose chases for months!”

You grinned “Yes, will be our anniversary soon.”

Izuku groaned as he wrapped his arms around your waste. “You irredeemable brat!”

You would have replied, but in the next second he was fiercely smashing his mouth against yours. The kiss started harsh and desperate. The results of months of teasing and flirting. It gentled as the two of you stood there in the night, soft and sweet and full of affection the two of you had yet to put into words. The thought occurred to you that you’d have to thank Mei later. Your eyes opened as the two of you pulled away for breath. You started giggling almost immediately. Izuku pressed his forehead against yours.

“What’s so funny, darling?”

You smirked. “I never thought we’d have our first kiss while being mooned by Dynamight.”

Izuku groaned loudly before sweeping you up into his arms. You squawked and clung to him.

“That’s it.” He rumbled. “I’m going to spank you when I get you home, you fucking brat.”

“Promise?” you giggled.

You didn’t mind in the least when he shut you up with another kiss.

[mystical-marauder]

Painting stars

Sirius enters an art shop, hoping to finally buy the supplies he'd been saving up for for months, but walking through that door brings him much more than expected

This is my first oneshot and I hope you like it and I'll post more writing like this hopefully and my writing can also be found on ao3 my username is @loveglowslikethemoon hope you enjoy :)

Today had been pretty quiet with only a couple customers and the shop was closing in 10 minutes, I was ready to go home...

Ding!

I look up from my book, ‘What kind of customer turns up this late?’ I think. I look around to the door, standing there is a tall, handsome young man, his grey eyes excitedly glancing over the shop, his black hair tied up into a bun. His fair skin is disrupted only by a small beauty mark, under his eye. The confident smile that suddenly splits his face as he turns to me, brings out two dimples that break his otherwise smooth cheeks.

"Afternoon! I'm looking for art supplies, I mean I am in an art shop" he says, chuckling. "I actually need some advice, you have a very wide selection and I'm not quite sure what to pick." he gestures vaguely at the shelves full of pencils and brushes, paint and charcoal, canvases and sketchbooks... "You see I love painting but I have no idea which brushes to use, it's embarrassing really."

"There's nothing to be embarrassed about, actually it's quite common, that’s what I’m here for” I reply with a smile “So you said you paint, right? What do you need, brushes, paint, canvases…?”

“I… um… I actually need everything… You see my parents, well, they kicked me out… and I left everything there… but I've finally saved up enough money to buy new supplies so here I am” he explains chuckling nervously. I look around nervously, unsure what to answer to that but I try to remain as steady and professional as possible.

“That's… terrible, I’m so sorry.” I say, smiling nervously, trying to seem comforting.

“It’s alright, it’s a good riddance I guess.” he replies cheerily “so about those supplies, what do you recommend?”

“Follow me, I’ll show you my recommendations. You’ll have to tell me a bit more about your style of painting so I can give you my best advice.” I say, leading him over to the shelves.

I quickly give him an overview of the different supplies before giving him a more detailed review of each product and advice. We slowly go through the shop and I don’t even notice the minutes fly by. As I walk to another shelf, I catch a glimpse of the clock. I should’ve closed the shop half an hour ago but I decide to leave it. I was having fun. What was the harm of staying open a little while longer? As the minutes pass, our chatter becomes less professional and more friendly. We talked and laughed together and soon enough, we’d picked out all his new art supplies.

“Well there’s everything you need!” I say, walking back to the counter. I start counting the price while chatting to him. “That’s £81.99, the easel is on the house for being such an amiable customer. Do come back if you ever need anything else, it was a pleasure to serve you.” I smile sadly, it had been more than a pleasure and I wish we didn’t have to say goodbye now.

“Thank you” he answers, giving me another of his confident smiles “I- I was wondering if umm… this might sound a bit weird but-” his piercing grey eyes quickly shift away, his normally confident appearance fading to show a childlike nervousness. “Before I left home, well, before I was forced out, I was studying anatomy, and well… I think you'd make the perfect model… Would it be alright if I painted you? If you don't mind, of course. Please don't feel forced to accept anything, but I'd love it if you do. And we could get a chance to get to know each other a little better, maybe somewhere where you don't work.” he clears his voice, as though happy to get this over with, and shifts his grey eyes back to me, his confidence returning. A new childish smile splits his face, as though it had never left it.

My eyes widen as I register what he just asked, and I quickly look away, embarrassed. ‘Perfect?’ as the word races through my mind again and again, I feel my face heat a little. Perfect? Me? No one had ever even called me pretty, let alone perfect, but now this man, who looks like a model himself, wants me to model for him and used that word to describe me. I return the smile, although mine is more nervous than childlike. He tilts his head slightly as though reading my emotions but seconds later, he lets out a small laugh which I quickly copy, trying to diffuse the awkwardness that flourished in me throughout this interaction.

“Are you sure you want me? I mean-” I cut off as I watch him nod confidently “alright I'd love to then!” I answer him, flattered, yet I can't stop the slight shake of my hands. What if I mess up? What if he ends up hating me?

“See you then” he says happily, turning away with a wink. I watch him as he walks out, finding myself to be grinning like a child, like him. I only have one thought left, ‘I don't have to say goodbye.’ I stay standing there for a few minutes with this thought before I snap back to reality. My eyes snap to the clock.

“Fuck” I whisper as I work out the time. If my boss finds out I closed the shop two hours late, I'm done for. ‘Oh well, it was worth it’ I think ‘and anyways he might not even find out.’ I start packing my bag when I suddenly realise he didn't give me a name let alone an address, how was I ever going to find him?! My eyes trail back to the door but of course he is long gone by now… I look around, panicked, as though expecting something to magically give me his address and that's when I notice the folded piece of paper on the counter. I slowly open it, my fingers trembling at the thought that it may not be what I think. I flatten out the paper and quickly read the snippet of writing. I smile inwardly, holding the small, unfolded piece of paper, relief slowly flooding through me as I trace the sentence again and again with my eyes, struggling to believe the evening's events.

19:30 tomorrow room 29 Mirror Hotel - Sirius Black

“Sirius Black” I whisper softly, smiling. “It's nice to meet you, Sirius Black”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I try to steady my hand as doubt rises in me again, one thought racing continuously through my mind ‘What if I mess up?’ I reach out and knock on the door hesitantly. I wait for a few seconds, yet it feels like an eternity, before the door is swung open.

“Found my note I see!” he exclaims, standing in the doorway with a huge grin lighting up his face. I smile back, trying to look as confident as he did.

“Here I brought you this” I reply, showing him my bag. I take out a small black book and present it to him, “it’s my favourite book, actually I was reading it when you came into the shop, I thought that maybe...” I trail off, embarrassed. I rub the back of my neck, feeling the warmth radiating from my palm. “I just thought maybe you'd find it interesting, I've read it so many times I practically know it off my heart” I laugh quietly, quickly glancing up at him “sorry I'm rambling”

Sirius looks at me, curiosity in his eyes. A small laugh escapes his lips before he turns to me and takes the book. He flips it, seemingly interested before looking back at me and taking a step back, to free the entrance. “Well why don't you come in?” he asks, before marking a pause, “I'm sorry I don't think I caught your name.”

“I'm Remus.” I respond, looking back up at him.

“Remus, that's a nice name.” he comments, his grin never leaving his face “the book seems interesting! I'll be sure to give it a try” I listen to him talk while I walk into his room, which is surprisingly organised. There isn't much, a table with an old laptop on it, two chairs, a bed, which takes up most of the space, a set of drawers, a small window and, in the corner, the art supplies he'd bought the day before. “You can sit here” he tells me, pushing one of the chairs towards me, I take it and sit down, putting my bag down next to it, unsure what to do next, I watch him walk over to the corner and pick up his art supplies.

“What do I need to do?” I ask, my hands still trembling slightly in my lap.

“Nothing, don't worry” he replies “just sit there and relax, there's nothing to be scared of” he addresses a friendly smile at me, pulling up the other chair to face me and setting up his easel in front of it. He takes out a brush and some paint, mixing them on his palette, and starts moving his hand up and down the canvas in big yet careful gestures. As the minutes pass, I start to feel more relaxed, watching his movements getting smaller and slower. “So, tell me a bit about yourself” he says, his eyes not moving from the canvas.

“Hmm oh well my life isn't very interesting. I grew up here with my parents, they're both gone now. I work in an art shop, as you know, I really like reading and I don't know what else to tell you…” I answer, thinking that my life must be too boring for him.

“That sounds interesting to me, you must know the surroundings pretty well then! Maybe you could show me around a little, I've been here for a few months but I still manage to get lost sometimes.” he tells me, chuckling.

“I'd love to, but only if you show me how to paint” I reply, nodding happily. As the minutes turn into hours and his painting progresses, we keep talking, about everything and nothing. It felt easy to talk to him, no not easy, right. Soon enough, I knew him like he'd been my friend for years. While we talk, his eyes tend to stay on the painting but sometimes they glide over to me, snapping back to the painting seconds later. In what felt like a short period of time, yet was a few hours, the painting was finished.

“Are you ready? If I'm honest, I'm a little nervous but if it's bad, blame it on the fact I couldn't paint for the past few months.” he admitted with a nervous chuckle, grabbing the canvas and hesitantly turning it towards me.

‘wow’

That's it. That's the only thought that went through my head as my eyes met themselves on the canvas. It's so beautiful and…

“Well? What do you think?” he urges nervously. I suddenly notice his hands trembling slightly and his eyes watching me intensely. He always seems so confident, yet I can see the fear in his eyes now.

“It's so… It's stunning… I'm speechless” I reply, looking him in the eyes quickly before turning back to the painting. The painting looked so realistic, my light curly brown hair and pale green eyes standing out against my pale skin, there is only one alteration. Instead of the freckles that normally sprinkle my face, are little stars. They're beautiful, shining like the stars I can now see from the window.

“Your freckles, they're beautiful, they look like the stars in the night sky. I thought I should paint them as such… They're like little beacons of hope and friendship, when I walked into that shop, I never thought I'd make a new friend, and well, thank you for giving me hope.” Sirius looks at me, his eyes sparkling with the same hope he was talking off. As I look at him, straight into his eyes, I feel a smile reach my lips, knowing my eyes have the same sparkle in them. And as our eyes dig deeper into one another, as we share a smile of happiness of who we found, the minutes slow, as though this moment was frozen in time, which I wish could be the case. Suddenly, we both break eye contact, as though embarrassed by the connection we'd both felt in that second. We both look back up to the painting, our eyes meeting again for a second, causing my face to heat a little. I slowly lift myself out of my seat, taking a step towards the painting to get a closer view of the talent etched on the canvas in front of me.

“It's- it's really stunning” I mutter, still speechless, taking yet another step forward. As I slowly edge forward, I notice something, something that had escaped me at first glance, as it usually escapes others' attention. A thin scar, tracing along the bridge of my freckled nose. Freckles which usually hide it, making it hardly noticeable, especially at first glance. A scar that had been given to me when I was only five, by an overexcited grey dog at the park. It's claw had scratched against the skin of my nose, after it had ambushed me. It had left me with a gash, one that never properly healed and could now be observed under the shape of a scar. This scar. The one he had noticed, when no one else had.

“You got my scar” I whisper in amazement. I slowly reach out to touch it, feeling like all that matters now, is this single detail. A small detail yet seeing it there had given me hope. At the last second, I pull my arm back, like an instinct, and, remembering the paint is still wet, I drop my hand to my side.

“Of course I got it, how could I miss it?” as his voice reaches my ears, I glance to my left to find him standing next to me, admiring the same spot as I was. Him. The man who, right now, felt like a dream come true. We both turn to face one another at the same second, almost as though we're in tune with one another. I find myself getting lost in his stormy grey eyes again, knowing that he was looking straight back into my emerald green ones. For a moment, there's no movement, we both stand there in silence, our eyes sparkling at each other, knowing that this is right. A shadow suddenly masks one of his eyes and I understand that a lock of his hair escaped his small bun. I watch it sway slightly before I instinctively take a step forward, closing what little distance is left between us, and reach out. I mark a pause, waiting to see if he'll reject the movement, but nothing happens. Carefully, I grab the small lock of hair and delicately brush it behind his ear.

As I hesitantly move my hand away, Sirius lets out a low throaty laugh, and I suddenly feel compelled to do something I'd never dreamed of. Instead of pulling my hand back, I instinctively slide it down to the back of his neck, cradling it carefully in my hand, and lean forward, closing the distance between us centimetre after centimetre until we collide. It was a short kiss but our movements were coordinated perfectly.

We pull away, almost reluctantly, and I watch his face quickly turn a deep crimson, knowing mine isn’t much better. I watch his eyes, like two storms lost in the middle of all this redness.

“That was… something” my eyes move down, as I utter these two words, as though expecting them to close the distance again. Our faces were still within centimetres of one another, making me struggle not to kiss them again.

“Something utterly spectacular” Sirius laughs breathlessly, intensifying my impulse to lean in again.

The room falls silent again, as I continue to watch the slight quiver on his lips. The only disturbance in the otherwise perfect silence is the sound of light rain splashing against the window and pavement along with our shallow breathing.

For a long while, we stand there, gazing quietly into each other's eyes, not uttering a single word, yet I feel complete, everything I need is right here, in front of me. This man, who has the most luscious hair, elegance and grace radiating from his unpolished appearance, a mischievous yet friendly glint in his eye, who is staring up at me with those mercury eyes.

And in that second, I feel certain that this is where I belong. That being with Sirius is right.

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Epilogue 1: In August

A/N:  Well, I think this is the answer to everybody’s questions...!  Epilogue 2 will be up next Monday as well! :)

September 2021

Aberdeen Bloom was at a book talk and signing.

Her own book talk and signing.

It had all happened so fast, really.  The article about the NHL bubble had really put her on the map and had garnered a lot of positive reviews and comments.  She’d been working steadily at Toronto Life for a few months, writing another big feature for the magazine.  She had a short story published in The Walrus that also got rave reviews.  Aberdeen even got to live out another dream – interview Margaret Atwood for the magazine, and write an entire feature on the bustling arts, culture, and publishing scene in Toronto she was now, miraculously, involved in by virtue of working at Toronto Life.  It was all a dream, really.

Then one day, after peeping Aberdeen’s computer screen, Beth Zadakis noticed Aberdeen was adding to a manuscript.  She inquired about it.  Aberdeen tried to play it off, but eventually relented and told her all about it.  ‘Send me the first hundred pages’ Beth told her.  Aberdeen did.  Beth stayed up all night reading it.  ‘Send me your entire manuscript’ Beth said the next morning in the office.  ‘I know the senior editor at Coach House.  Do you have an agent?  I’ll get you an agent.  Aberdeen, this is going to get published.’

And it was.  When Aberdeen walked into the Coach House Books offices – the small, independent publisher famous in Toronto that launched a lot of literary careers –  she sat down in a chair and looked the senior editor in the eye as she told Aberdeen, “This is what I’ve been looking for all along.”  After a $10,000 advance, and more meetings with editors at Coach House Books, her first novel, In August, was published.

She held it in her hands for the entire interview, like it wasn’t real and would float away, even though it had already been out for months.  Just last week, it had been announced on the longlist for both the Scotiabank Giller Prize and the Governor General’s Literary Award, the two biggest literary awards in Canada.  For a book from an independent publisher, this was a big deal.  And for Aberdeen, this was of course the biggest deal.  

A dream.  It was all a dream.

“We have time for one more question from the audience before we switch to the book signing portion of the evening,” the host of the event said.  The full room got antsy in anticipation to meet Aberdeen; the young woman at the microphone knew she should make her question good.  “Miss, what’s your question?”

“Hi, I—I first just wanted to say I absolutely loved your book,” she started nervously.

“Thank you,” Aberdeen smiled, hoping to calm her nerves.  

“I—I was just wondering what advice you have for young women who want to become writers?  I mean, if you get on the Shortlist for the Giller and the Governor General’s Award, you’ll be the youngest woman – not just woman, the young person – to ever win the award.  I mean that’s amazing.  What advice do you have?”

Aberdeen considered the question for a moment before a small smile appeared on her face.  “Bank on yourself,” she said confidently into the microphone.  Virtually the entire room smiled along with her.  “I mean that sincerely.  Bank on yourself.  Don’t let people’s averse opinions about you or your writing get to your head.  If you’re good, and you know you’re good, bank on yourself.  Surround yourself with people who believe in you.  They don’t always necessarily have to be in the literary world either.  I mean, listen – I was a bank teller throughout university.  I had some boyfriends at that time who thought writing was a waste of time and that I was fighting a lost cause.  It affected me…a lot.  More than I like to admit.  It tears you down and makes you second guess yourself and your talent.  I’m here to tell you to not let it get to you.  My first job out of university – I mean I’ve spoken about this at length now – but my first job out of university was being a personal assistant to Brendan Shanahan of the Toronto Maple Leafs.  He’s been one of my biggest supporters ever since.  That’s where I met my partner William, who’s my biggest supporter and the man who encouraged me to write and told me I had what it takes to be a successful writer.  I got my job at Toronto Life by writing an article they didn’t want me to write, but I banked on my writing to get me the job.  And it paid off.  So truly – I mean it.  Bank on yourself.”

***

“It’s very nice to meet you,” Aberdeen smiled as she looked up at a young woman – who couldn’t have been much older than her, as she opened the cover of the book.  “Who am I making this out to?”

“Clara.”

“Clara,” Aberdeen repeated as she wrote out her name and proceeded to sign the novel.  She’d been at it for almost two hours now and was nearing the end of the line.  She wouldn’t leave until everyone got an autograph.

“You have a way with words,” Clara said.  “I just love your style and voice.  It’s so unique.  I’d give my left arm to write like you.”

“You better not be left-handed,” Aberdeen joked, causing both women to giggle as she slid the signed book back towards Clara.  “It was nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you too.  Can we take a quick picture?”

“Of course!” Aberdeen said.  Clara turned towards her friend who had just met Aberdeen, ready with a camera.  Clara thanked her once more before moving past her.  Aberdeen watched as Clara did a little excited jig and held the book against her heart.  She smiled.

When she turned her head back to greet the next person, she was shocked at who she saw.

Jason Spezza.

They both looked at each other for a few moments, speechless.  Aberdeen couldn’t formulate any thoughts, let alone any words.  The only thing she could say was his name.  “Jason.”

“Aberdeen,” he said nervously.  “Hi.”

“Hi.”

Jason looked nervous.  Very nervous.  And Jason Spezza did not get nervous.  “Congratulations,” he said, and it was only then that she realized he was holding her book in his hand.  “I read it.  It’s amazing.”

“Thank you.”

“The whole team read it.  I mean they probably didn’t understand a word of it but they read it.  I’m sure William told you that,” he followed up.  “It’s brilliant, Aberdeen.  It really is.”

“Thank you,” she repeated.

Another awkward silence.  “Listen…” Jason began, looking around so he didn’t have to make eye contact with her.  “Are you free after this?  Can…can we talk?”

A shiver ran up her spine.  “Uh…yeah.  Yeah of course.”

“Want to meet me at Alo for a drink?” he asked.

She nodded her head.  “Sure.”

“Alright.  Thanks.  The book was great.  Uh…bye,” he said quickly, turning around and walking the opposite way he should have been walking, pushing the door to the bookstore open so he could leave.

***

Aberdeen shook off her umbrella and brushed the stray raindrops off her blazer as she walked into Alo.  The restaurant was packed – typical for Alo – but through the droves of people, Aberdeen could see Jason sitting at a booth against the side, swirling his wine nervously.  

“It’s a two hour wait,” the hostess said.

“I’m meeting a friend,” Aberdeen nodded in Jason’s general direction before leaving the hostess there.  

She slowed her pace as she walked in between tables, mentally preparing herself for the conversation she was about to have.  She had no idea what he was going to say to her.  They hadn’t spoken for an entire year.  He and William played together but there was no love lost.  From what William would tell her, the entire team knew that she and Jason had stopped talking and were really, really shocked to hear so, considering everyone knew how close they were.  They knew better to ask William, and they definitely knew better than to ask her, but whenever they’d ask Jason about it, he wouldn’t answer either.  He’d shake his head or say “We’re not going to talk about that” or just pivot to something completely different, signalling that, well, he wasn’t going to talk about it.  So there was this air of mystery.  And though her year had been successful – articles and book deals and now book talks and signings – in the back of her mind, she always remembered that Jason was disappointed in her.  She always remembered that despite her success, she couldn’t share this with him like she wanted to.

“Hi,” she said out of the blue, startling Jason slightly.  

He looked up.  “Hi Aberdeen,” he said, moving to get up like a gentleman.  

“You don’t—” she held her arm out, shaking her head.

He stopped, nodding.  “Sit,” he said, motioning across from him.  She slipped in.

Before she could say anything else, a waitress approached their table.  “I see your guest has finally arrived,” she smiled at Jason before turning to Aberdeen.  “What can I get you?”

“Oh, I’ll have what he’s having,” she said, pointing to the red.

The waitress nodded before walking towards the bar.  She and Jason sat there, staring at each other for a few moments.  “It’s really nice to see you, Aberdeen,” he spoke first, his voice soft but very clearly nervous.

“It’s nice to see you too, Jason,” she smiled slightly.  

“I wanted…” he began, hesitating, considering his words.  “I wanted to come see you to talk to you.  To…well, to talk about what happened that day.  I was so…I…” he kept trailing off, not knowing what to say or how to say it.  “I was an ass that day.”

“You were justified—”

“Let me—” he put his hand up to interrupt her as gently as possible.  “I was an ass that day, but I don’t think you can blame me.  And you can tell me to fuck off, you can tell me to do whatever, because I deserve it – I mean, we haven’t spoken in a year – but I realized how big of a mistake I made that day in being so harsh to you, and I want to…solve this.  I want to work through it.  I miss having you around.  I don’t want to not speak to you again for an entire year.”

Aberdeen nodded her head.  They were going to do this.  “Do you want me to start from the beginning?”

Jason nodded his head.

So she told him.  She told him everything.  About how she’d hooked up with William that summer not knowing he was William Nylander of the Toronto Maple Leafs.  She told him how they met again in the elevator with Brendan Shanahan present and that was how she realized who William was – this got a smile out of Jason.  Then Aberdeen told him about keeping William at a distance, but his persisting, and her wall breaking away.  She told him of the late night drives, the late night hotel rooms talks they’d have and how she learned so much about him.  She told him about what William had done for her in terms of Ethan.  She told him about Christmas.  About New Year’s Eve.  About the Night With the Blue and White.  About how they promised each other they’d tell no-one – not even their families – and how good they’d been at keeping that promise.  She told him how she fell deeper and deeper for Will.  What he’d do for her, what he’d say that would make her go off in the deep end.  She told him about how she fell in love.  She told him what he’d done for her, what he continued to do for her.

Aberdeen felt like she had been talking for hours.  She probably had.  She had barely taken a sip of her wine.  But when she saw everything that she needed to say, she waited for Jason’s reaction.  He’d been silent the entire time, just listening.  Listening intently.  And she could see it on his face – him processing all the information.  He understood the ramifications of it.  The only people in the world who knew the true timeline of events now were him, Aberdeen, and William.  He realized that.  Not even Brendan knew.  Not even Siena.  Not even her parents.

“You love him,” Jason said it as more of a statement than a question.  

“Of course I do, Jason,” Aberdeen said softly.  She had William had been together almost two years now.  One year publicly.  Two years if we were really counting.  

Jason bit his lip and nodded his head slightly.  “I can’t hate you for that.”

“You can hate me for breaking your trust, though,” Aberdeen said.  And it was true.  She knew she would hate someone if they broke her trust the way she broke Jason’s that day.  

Jason shook his head.  “No.  I can’t hate you for that anymore either.  I can’t hate you at all.”  He shifted uncomfortably in his seat before continuing.  “I just…I want to put this entire thing behind us.  And I want to tell you I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for the way I acted that day.  I’m sorry for not speaking to you for a year.  I’m sorry about all of it.”

“I should be the one apologizing.”

Jason shook his head.  “You don’t have to.  Can we…can we just acknowledge that it happened and move forward?”

Aberdeen couldn’t help but smile.  “I’d like that a lot,” she said.  “I’ve missed you, Jason.”

“I’ve missed you too,” he smiled back, holding up his wine glass.  “To unlikely friendships,” he toasted.

“To unlikely friendships,” she clinked her glass.  As she took a sip of wine, she still had one lingering thought in the back of her mind.  One she knew she needed to address with Jason.  She could honestly just leave it – half of her mind was telling her to do so – but the other half wasn’t having it.  “Jason?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you for not telling Brendan.”

He nodded his head.  “I was mad at you.  But I didn’t want to ruin your life.  Your secret is safe with me.”

***

“There you are, minskatt,” William’s sing-songy voice crooned through the apartment once Aberdeen shut the door behind her, tossing her keys into the bowl at the front door and slipping off her blazer.  She walked into the apartment to see William watching TV – hockey of course.  The Chicago Blackhawks, which meant he was watching Alex.  If only for a moment, his eyes were momentarily taken off the screen and settled on Aberdeen at the foot of the couch.  She was the only person able to divert his eyes.  “Talk ran long?  Did you insist on signing every single person’s book even when they wanted to cut you off like last time?” he asked with a smile.

She smiled back but said nothing.  She felt too giddy inside, still, to speak.  Instead, she crawled along the couch until she reached him, giving him a long, lingering kiss before pulling away and snuggling herself into his chest.  He wrapped his arms around her tightly.  “What’s got you all smiley?”

She couldn’t hold it in any longer.  She finally found the words.  “I was having drinks with Jason.”

She could feel William stiffen slightly at her words, but not out of fear.  She knew it was mostly out of shock.  “Jason Spezza?”

Aberdeen nodded her head.  “He showed up at the book signing.  He asked if we could go for drinks at Alo and when I met him there we sort of…well, you know…we talked about everything that happened.”

“And?”

“And…there’s now three people that know our entire story.”

“But what about you and him?” William asked, knowing her relationship with Jason was much more important.  “Is everything okay between you and him now?”

Aberdeen could only smile and nod her head.  It made William smile too.  Knowing that his girlfriend, the love of his life, was happy again – happy to be speaking to one of her friends again, happy to have buried a hatchet – made him all the happier.  It had been a year of personal triumphs for Aberdeen but also a year of pain, and now that pain had gone away.  He leaned in and kissed her again, the both of them smiling.  “I love you, minskatt.”

“I love you too, Willy.”

***

October 2021

“ABERDEEEEEEEEEEEEN!  MOM NEEDS THE VEGETABLES!” Camden screamed down the basement steps.

“Better watch it,” William said from behind him.  “She’s a published author now.  She isn’t gonna take crap from you anymore.”

Camden looked behind him and shrugged.  “She’s still always gonna be my sister.  She’ll always take crap from me.”

William couldn’t help but giggle as he smiled.  “You’re very smart, Camden.”

“And besides, I’m her little brother.  I’m allowed to.  You on the other hand—”

“Whoa whoa whoa!” William protested.

“Camden!” Aberdeen screamed from the bottom of the stairs.  “Don’t think I don’t hear you!” she started stomping up the stairs.  When she finally reached the top, holding the casserole dish full of roasted vegetables in between her hands covered in oven mitts, she furrowed her brows.  “Aren’t you supposed to be helping Siena with the dessert?”

“Siena told me to make sure you and William weren’t doing too much kissy kissy,” he smooched his lips together.

“She did not say that.”

“I did say that!” Siena called out from the kitchen.

Camden smiled and wiggled his brows before skipping away, having done his duty and fulfilled his job.  Aberdeen looked at William.  “You can leave if you want.  I understand if you just want to spend Thanksgiving alone in a quiet condo.”

“Are you kidding?” he asked, bending down to kiss her quickly.  “I wouldn’t miss this for the world.”

“Mooooooom!  They’re kissing again!”

***

Jason was purposely slow in putting on his gear.  He was eyeing William the whole time as William worked to put on all his own gear – the pads and the socks and the practice jersey.  Most of the boys had already left to go out onto the ice.  But Jason had been slow.  Jason stayed back.  He and William had been making eye contact throughout their getting ready.  “We talked,” he said simply, but loud enough so William could hear.

“I know,” William said, nodding his head slightly.  “She came back from that book talk the happiest I’ve seen her in a while.  She couldn’t stop smiling the entire night.  She cried as I held her,” he said, pausing for a bit of a dramatic effect.  “Happy tears, of course.”

Jason nodded his head.  He got up from his stall and walked over to William, who was still sitting in his.  “Listen,” he began.  “I should apologize to you too.”

William shook his head.  “You don’t need to.  So long as you apologized to Aberdeen that’s all that matters,” he said.  And he meant it.  William never expected an apology.  Truth be told, he didn’t want one – he didn’t want Jason to apologize to him.  He didn’t really deserve it.  The only person who deserved an apology was Aberdeen.

“No,” Jason said a bit more emphatically.  “I do need to apologize to you.  I was a dick.  And…” he trailed off.

“And…?” William egged on.

“And you love her,” Jason said.  The heavy words hung in the air between the two men for a few silent moments.  “You love her, and you’ve shown her you love her for almost two years now, and that’s what counts here.”  Jason paused again, both men looking each other in the eye.  “You loved her since the beginning, didn’t you?  Since the day you laid eyes on her in that bar, the night of her graduation.”

“Of course I did,” William said softly.  

Jason nodded his head slightly, in understanding.  “You’re the luckiest damn son of a bitch on this Earth to be with her.”

“Believe me, I know.”

“And wh—”

“And if I ever hurt her, I’m sure your fist is going to be the first one connecting to my eye,” William finished Jason’s sentence for him.  “I know, I know.”

“No no, that’s not what I was going to say,” Jason said.  William furrowed his brows.  “What I was going to say, was…when you two get married, I better be the guest of fucking honour,” he smiled mischievously.

It was only then that William noticed Jason’s arm and hand outstretched.  He smiled, bringing his hand up to grasp Jason’s.

They hugged.

***

February 2022

“Aberdeen!” Bee McTavish’s voice rang out as Aberdeen stepped foot into the family suite at Scotiabank Arena.  After a long day at work in Toronto Life and balancing a phone interview about In August with a literary magazine based out on Montreal, Aberdeen was tired.  But tonight was a Hockey Night in Canada against the Montreal Canadiens, and Aberdeen couldn’t miss it.  Wouldn’t miss it.  

Aberdeen saw Bee balancing Jace on her hip.  Behind her, Aryne was on the phone with someone.  “Hey Bee,” she smiled wide, approaching the two.  “Hey Jace!”

“Hiii Baberbeen,” he smiled.  

“How did your interview go today?” Bee asked.  

Bee was always keeping up with her writing and the interviews she was doing, and what she was going to write next.  It was one of the things Aberdeen loved most about her.  She was incredibly supportive of Aberdeen’s career, keeping tabs and taking a real interest in it.  Bee even requested that Aberdeen autograph some first edition copies of In August because “When you win the Governor General’s Award or the Giller Prize or the Booker it’s gonna become a Rielly family heirloom!  First edition Aberdeen Bloom novels!  I mean come on!”  Aberdeen signed however many Bee wanted her to sign.  “It was great.  It’s for their next issue, so I should only have to wait about a month or so to see it in the magazine.”

“Any others coming up?”

“There’s a journal based out of Vancouver that wants to do a profile, too.”

“Look at you!” Bee cooed, smiling from ear to ear.  “When you become a famous novelist don’t forget us in the family room at Scotiabank Arena.”

Aberdeen giggled.  “Are you kidding?  I could never forget this place.  This is like my second home.”

***

August 2022

William could hear the soft waves crashing against the shore as he walked out the back door of the cottage.  In the distance, he could see Alex jumping off the boathouse – typical.  If he got injured the Blackhawks wouldn’t be very happy.  He saw Daniella follow Alex by diving into the water.  Jacqueline and Stefanie were tanning on chairs.  He looked to his left to see his dad barbequing and his mom helping.  

Then he saw who he was looking for.  

Aberdeen was sitting on the edge of the dock, beside the flagpole flying the Swedish flag, feet dangling over and toes grazing the water as she watched Alex and Daniella’s diving competition.  William couldn’t help but smile to himself as he got closer and closer to her with each passing step.  

“Whose dive was better, Aberdeen?!” Alex asked from the water.

“Definitely Daniella’s!” she called out, much to Alex’s very, very vocal displeasure and Daniella’s very, very vocal satisfaction.  

Her hair was down; long and flowing in the slight breeze until she turned her head and looked over her shoulder and back at him.  She smiled when she saw him, and she brought her hand up to shield the sun from her eyes.  “Hey you,” she cooed.

She wore a floral dress.  The sky was blue and so was the water as William crouched down and sat behind her.  He adjusted himself until Aberdeen was sitting in between his legs and his legs were dangling off the dock with hers.  He made sure to wrap his arms around her waist.  He gave her a kiss on her shoulder before she turned her head and he gave her a quick kiss on the lips.  “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you too,” Aberdeen smiled.  “Jag tänker på dig när jag inte ens tanker,” she said in an almost perfect Swedish accent.  She’d been practicing for two and a half years now, after all.  

William smiled, giving her another kiss.  “Jag tänker på dig när jag inte ens tanker.”

[ofcowardiceandkings]

UH WHOA not only am i posting art but theres so much of it lmfao

ive been meaning to do this for mmmm a long time, and i decided to get it cleaned up so i can present folks with my homebrew/headcanon/thingy for the d&d playable races !! i know ive missed a few off but these are ones ive seen more of over all in my own travels in Nerd Game lol

ive only DMed one thing so far (our lost mines of phandelver adventure was a total blast but oh boy the shenanigans) but im like ... drowning in it all, have been for a loooonng time since i first played Neverwinter Nights when i was like 11, i just didnt have a party to mess with yet lmao (fingers crossed our schedules get sorted so the campaign goes ahead soooooonnn).. so ive been developing some of these various homebrewy headcanons for uh over half my life

getting them all together in one place like this was unbelievably fun !!

gonna yell under the cut for a bit about it more but very shortly i’ll be opening for d&d character / item / creature commissions so watch this space or pop me a message to get in a queue <3

these headcanon things are half based on “that looks cool” and Sciencing. a lot of the more humanoid in some way races ive really pulled on human ancestors a lot, as well as muscle development in different sports. And Animals, because ye

i haven’t included humans in this mammoth endeavour because we should all know what a Human People looks like, and their proportions aren’t any different in the world of D&D i run at least lol similarly, because they’re an exact intersection between humans & either elves or orcs, the half-species arent included on here either [shrugs] i WILL talk about them some here though !!

i might eventually update this with some npc generators ive made using my own descriptors and headcanons >.>

ELVES av height; 5′6 | heads-high; 8.5 generally long limbed, with fine wispy hair, elves senses are very heightened. helping in this, their eyes are almond-shaped with slightly narrow pupils, their large radar-like ears are very mobile, and the underside of their noses are covered in a lightly damp pitted leather. part of their ability to maintain grace with an elongated frame, aside from longer springy feet, is aided by a tail built somewhat like a horse, with a skirt of hair down its length, only with a slightly longer bone to it than would be seen in the typical pony. excepting a very light dusting on their lower limbs, they typically have very little body hair. sometimes their skin shimmers, or freckles sparkle.

GNOME av height; 3′6 | heads-high; 6.5  gnomes are almost like diminutive elves with a few key differences. their hair tends to be wild if left alone, but is often styled wildly anyway. set rather low on rounded but long faces, their large almond eyes are keen, and small hands very nimble. it’s not sure if its due to their close environments or frequent encounters with accidents in experiments, but their skulls are surprisingly hard, and they possess small horn nubs made of bone and coated in keratin. their small petal-shaped ears are set low and point outward, and are able to move a little to catch sound. they may look fragile due to their size and build but they are pretty hardy and more than capable.

HALFLING av height; 3′ | heads-high; 6 a very hardy but soft and welcoming folk, halflings are built for walking and surviving well, often coming from a semi-nomadic tradition. they typically have round faces with stronger jaws and soft round eyes, and their large ears are pointed upright. their figures easily get a little curved and chubby, especially when they have easy access to decent food, in preparation for harder times and the odd period of hunkering down for some downtime, say in poor weather. truly the most functional part of a halfling is their short powerful legs with big fairly flexible hard feet, and lion-like tail for balance, both insulated by hair.

DWARF av height; 4′3 | heads-high; 6.5 dwarves are accustomed to life in tougher terrain, typically with large parts spent in the ground. their broad frames are also squat down with thick short limbs, for huge power and for life in tunnels. wide feet keep them steady and sensitive to significant seismic energy in the earth, and wide hands aid in their work and the feel of the rock. their large round ears stick outward and are slightly mobile, large noses help condition the air, and high-set eyes with huge irises aid their vision in darker spaces and the ability to peek over things without being fully exposed. their skulls are also very thick just in case of falling rocks. all dwarves are very hairy and grow beards, taking pride in keeping and styling it.

GOLIATH av height; 7′6 | heads-high; 10 a totally different variety of rock & mountain people to dwarves, they do share a few traits. a goliath’s thick limbs are long with a big reach and huge stride, with big hands and feet for steady movement. as well as being hugely tall, they are broad, especially in their shoulders, with a long neck elevating their head further. their facial features tend to be very sharp, but long. they have little to no body hair, and they often dont grow head hair either, but decorate their skulls with tattoos. as they get older, the upper surfaces of their body develop pebble like growths under the skin, often in similar patterns to their habitats.

FIRBOLG av height; 7′6 | heads high; 9 firbolg typically live in deep forests but are actually a giantkin - although not too unbelievable given their huge height and thick build. large parts of their body are hairy, nearly furry, and their head hair is thick and wild, and they often have facial hair too. their large heads have long thick noses with an almost bovine leather to their top lips, and wide set eyes. their fluffy ears are very mobile, but when relaxed they drop and point downward. their nails are thick and sturdy, aiding in being even more dexterous while being so big. sometimes they are covered in layers of clothing, but they possess a tiny goat-like tail.

DRAGONBORN av height; 6′6 | heads-high; 8 dragonborns diverged from true dragons in the ancient past, likely due to a strong magical influence of some kind, but not so long ago that the bloodlines of dragons are absent from the race of dragonborn. (the illustration shows the typical head-shape and placement of ears, each bloodline has its own features). their chest is still very round like an animal, with deep chest muscles, a slightly less mobile shoulder, and short upper arm. their 4 clawed hands and feet somewhat resemble that of a true dragon, but smaller and a little less dangerous. the length of a dragonborn’s tail can vary from just the length from hips to floor, or up to their full height, and as well as being very useful for balance and dexterity, can be used for fighting. different bloodlines can interbreed, with it being a matter of chance which line is present in offspring (although metallic is more dominant over gemstone, and chromatic over both ... (ah yeah gemstone, ill get to that soon))

AARAKOCRA av height; 5′ | heads-high; 8.5 as an avian species, especially one capable of flight, the aarakocra’s bones are hollow, making them on the one hand very agile but a little fragile. their large wingspan nearly brushes the floor, and their wings attach high on their back, through to a deep avian keel. their arms have a long forearm, which is covered in bird-like scutes, and their 4 clawed hands are still remarkably talon like which quite short palms and very mobile thumbs. their legs are very long and powerful, and backed by a typically wedge shaped tail. more often than not, their physical appearance takes after raptor species of birds, but different populations can trend towards many different appearances, including parrots and waterfowl.

TABAXI av height; 6′6 | heads-high; 9 tabaxi are an unusual sight in many places still. their cat-like bodies are very flexible and suited to their athletic climbing lifestyle. their long hands and feet have very a powerful grip, and they can retract their front claws. their long feline face is something like a cheetah or a clouded-leopard, with large highly mobile ears, large eyes and a strong nose. 

ORC

av height; 6′6 | heads-high; 8

orcs are very powerfully build, with heavy muscles and thick bodies overall. compared to other humanoids they can look a little gorilla-like. their short legs are usually a little bent to carry weight better instead of busting knees when locked. their course wiry hair grows profusely all over their body. their strong nails often grow out a little pointed. their large thick heads have high heavy brows and protruding lower jaws, short round noses and low bud-shaped ears which stick outward. the lower jaw and sometimes upper contain tusks, sometimes multiple tusks, which are greatly cared for and very impressive.

HALF-ELVES av height; 5′6 | heads-high; 8.25 a half-elf’s build will be somewhere between human and elf, often inheriting something of an elf’s eyes and nose leather, shorter elf ears, and maybe a small tufted tail something like a rabbits

HALF-ORCS av height; 6′ | heads-high; 8 a half-orc’s build will be somewhere between human and elf, often inheriting something of an orc’s skin colour and dark and profuse wiry hair, shorter orc ears, and some small tusks.

GOBLIN av height; 4′ (stood straight) | heads high; 5.5 bat/cat-like ears, nose something like bear/cat, domed head, arms/legs same length, sparse wiry hair, claws, short digits, lithe but very strong and hardy

HOBGOBLIN av height; 5′3 (stood straight) | heads high; 8 bat/cat-like ears but pinched at the base, nose something like bear/cat, very domed head, arms slightly longer than legs, claws, sparse wiry hair, quite broad

BUGBEAR av height; 7′ (stood straight) | heads high; 7.5 bat-like ears, long domed head something like a lion/bear, arms very long, nearly totally covered in thick fur, big tusks and often fangs, very bear-like hands/feet, big claws, very broad

TRITON av height; 5′2 | heads high; 7.5 lithe but well muscled, quite streamlined for a humanoid, frilled ears, pretty flat face, fins on limbs/back, “hair” is tendrils/fins/etc, short strong legs & long arms, long webbed fingers, long flipper feet, gills along front/side of chest

YUAN-TI PUREBLOOD av height; 5′9 | heads high; 9 domed angular faces, lips are not humanoid, triangular eyes, scales, quite flat nostrils with sense pits following along underside cheekbones, very little cartilage in ear, some may have cobra hoods extending out of ear instead, very tall and thin with small hands/feet, reptilian claws

CENTAUR av height; 7′ | heads high; 10 fairly stocky pony body (usually about 4′10 at withers), very muscled front end, long neck & sloping human-shoulders, long faces with long broad noses, prominent lips, horse-like ears sticking up and out, their whole scalp can grow hair but shaved sides are common, can grow hair nearly all down human-spine

KOBOLD av height; 2′6 | heads high; 5.5 almost alligator-like head & eyes, tiny nub horns, quite animal-like chest, arms/legs same length, thick stubby tail same length of body, 4 digits with stubby claws, lithe but strong for their tiny size

KENKU av height; 4′ | heads high; 5.5 corvid features, deep chest but no keel, longer arms than legs, 4 digits with talons, hands human-like but scaled, wedge-like tail half of leg height, not-quite fully bird feet.

LIZARDFOLK av height; 6′6 | heads high; 7 iguana-like, egg-shaped head, neck wattle, line of back spines varies in height, long arms and legs, very reptilian hands and feet with long claws, elbow spikes

GRUNG av height; 3′ | heads high; 6.5 large heads, neck leads nearly directly into torso, super flexible, very long limbs, triangular body, short upper arm, shorter thigh, large hands/feet, 4 digits

LOXODON av height; 7′6 | heads high; 5.5 large head, trunk as long as torso, short legs / long arms, huge bones under thick muscle, thick skin, 4 digits with thick nails, large hands / rounded cushioned feet, v e r y broad and thick build, small tail with tuft at the end, 

TORTLE av height; 7′6 | heads-high; 7 thick wrinkled skin encased in huge shell, stooping posture with neck extending forward, very long arms & short legs, 5 digits with reptilian claws, boxy head, heart shaped from above with features set far forward, tail to balance stoop

MINOTAUR av height; 7′ | heads-high; 9 powerful build with thick bones, typically well muscled, bovine head on thick neck, often very large horns, fairly long tufted tail, big hooved feet, broad 4 digit hands with thick nails, hair length varies

PLANE THINGS ???

listen this was a lot easier in the edition i first encountered lol anyway, until anything else comes up in extra material im just applying a few square & rectangle venn diagram rules

a useful word; planetouched. i dont really know why WotC seems to have dropped that term for at least 5e (i missed 4e entirely) but it refers to a “mortal native outsider” with lineage or influence from a plane other than the material, so “a material plane native creature with non-native plane influence, which can die”

GENASI height depends on material plane parent the result of a material plane / elemental pair (usually genies). they usually take after their material parent in build and broader features, but their elemental heritage comes through in features like magical hair, bright coloured eyes, unusual body temperatures, innate magics, etc.  genasi can interbreed with themselves, and the crossing of two elements can produce some interesting results (im working on that :>)

TIEFLINGS height depends on material plane parents this is the first of the squares & rectangles, and tbh its basically canonical. a tiefling is the result of a material plane humanoid being born with fiendish* influence. the word ‘tiefling’ refers specifically to a human with fiendish influence, but is also an umbrella term for ALL fiendish planetouched creatures. these DO have some names mentioned in the play material ! fey’ri = elves, tanarukk = orcs, wisplings = halflings, maeluth = dwarves, etc. so all fiendish planetouched are tieflings, but not all tieflings are human-based. the fiendish influence can be dormant for years or just string along for decades. AnyWay, all of them have horns, most have tails, odd skin or eye colour, and others can have all sorts of extraplanar features. *(fiends are another venn diagram thing in D&D, its an umbrella term for both demons and devils) 

AASIMAR height depends on material plane parents aaand this is the second of the squares & rectangles, the not-strictly-canon one. okay duplicate what i said about tieflings, but make it about celestials not fiends, basically lmao. aasimar is an umbrella term, but also a human/celestial planetouched specifically! unlike the above, since its my homebrew concept i dont have other words specifically for other races’ celestial planetouched, but i’ll get there watch this space lol EnyHoo, they all tend to have a strange glow about them in general, but usually in their eyes, and maybe hair especially. it isnt uncommon for them to have a kind of halo around themselves, or glowing glyphs/runes/sigils on or around them either. while MOST dont have full wings, a dusting of feathers isnt unusual. the features of celestials can vary a lot more. for example, unicorns and leonals are actually celestials!

aaand the slightly odd-ball;

WARFORGED height depends on build purpose these are an interesting case, as warforged are actually constructs, brought into this world by the fusing of organic muscle (like wood or leathery material) to an inorganic shell (like stone or metal), imbuing a life-giving fluid of some sort to act like blood, and bringing life to it by a powerful ritual - a unique glyph etched into their heads. as their name suggests they are usually created to become soldiers, or other army positions, although they could be suited to other purposes. unlike most constructs, they are fully self-aware and have a mind on par with humans. they do not need sleep (but require rest) and they also do not naturally reproduce. if they live longer than their purpose, then they are turned loose to deal with the world as they wish. as they are MADE they can vary greatly depending on who made them, and for what exact purpose - although they tend to have beak-like mouths, and 3 digit hands and 2 toed feet.

AV. HEIGHT CHART FROM LEFT TO RIGHT !!! human - elf - dwarf - gnome - halfling - orc - goliath - firbolg - dragonborn - aarakocra - tabaxi - kenku - hobgoblin - bugbear - yuanti - triton - kobold - grung - lizardfolk - tortle - centaur - minotaur - loxodon

oooboy that was a lot of waffle :L

[ask-jokeboi]

The Party

Hope everyone's having a great holiday season so far! This time of year isn't always easy but thankfully friends and a good distraction can make things easier. 

I drew these pic’s to pair with a moderately long fic I wrote to follow up the aforementioned party from earlier, it’s below the the cut! Read it if you want! Either way, Happy Holidays! 💜💚💛

Words: 4,142    Relationships: Harlivy /Harley & Joker friendship / Batjokes (mentioned)     Universe: Mine / Lego Batman

A/N: sorry for any typos or weird grammatical stuff, I'm good at art, not writing

Summary: Joker’s felt a little down since Batman’s been out of town, will his best friend Harley be able to cheer him up?

Warnings: Alcohol use, implied depression

_____________________

"C'mon Jay it'll be be fun!" Cheered Harley, mustering all the enthusiasm she could in an attempt to persuade Gotham's former clown prince of crime to pull himself together 

"I don't care!…. Go bother your girlfriend or something. Leave me alone…" He was currently piled under several layers of blankets, sunk deep into the ball pit he called a bed

"Nuh uh, I'm not haulin' my butt outta this room 'till you haul yours. You can stay in that pit and cry all ya like, but it won't fix nothin', you gott-"

"I don't GOTTA do anything!" Jay snapped. Throwing his blanket aside and revealing his less than kempt appearance, his face twisted into a frustrated glare

Harley, already familiar with Jay's usual harmless outbursts only sighed as she looked her long time friend up and down, taking in his surroundings with a curious eye

It'd been a month or two since Batman left the scene and his absence was definitely beginning to take a toll on the poor clown.

She could tell it'd been a while since he'd done anything to care for himself…. His hair, which was usually swept back into a flawless green pomp, lazily draped his face. The dull forest black of his roots beginning to seep back into the rest of it. Same could be said for the state his room which, due to his erratic nature, was always a bit untidy  but had recently fallen into a state of near disrepair. Bags of half eaten junk food and empty bottles of all sorts of things lay strewn across the floor, particularly around his half deflated bed.

Despite the mess, he still seemed a little...thin… more so than usual to be honest… his ribs visible beneath the loose shirt he wore, arms comparable to sticks despite the muscle.

most of all though, he just seemed... tired. Jay always looked tired out of makeup. It was one of the first things she'd managed to take note of when he'd first entered her office years ago…. But right now the purple rings beneath his eyes that never seemed to go away were deepened to a point that made it clear he wasn't getting much sleep or doing much for himself in general...

Seeing her best friend in a state like this was hard to witness… and although her partner, Ivy, didn't have much but mild disdain for Jay, Harley couldn't find it in herself to leave him like this… which is why she thought a party might lift his spirits a little 

"C'mooon! You love parties!! It'll just be a small one anyway!" It was actually much bigger than she was implying but Jay liked big and she didn't wanna scare him off too soon… 

"Yeah, like that'll make things any better… who did you even invite?? A good half of the rogues don't even like me…"

"Sure they do!"

Jay only looked at her, bereft and unimpressed. 

"I mean ok you and Riddler don't always get along and it took a lot a beggin' ta get ya un-banned from the iceberg lounge but still!!"

"Uhg whatever! It doesn't matter! I don't need those bozos seein' me like this anyway..."

"Like what?" 

"I don't know!  I'm just…... I'm not in the right… mood for something like that right now.... You know how this works… they'd see right through me. "

Back when Jay was still her patient they'd end up talking a lot about masks…Batman's would come up more often than not but every now and then he'd end up discussing his own…. Or more specifically, the metaphorical one he'd put on every time he picked up a brush and painted himself a new face…..

"Jay, sweetie…  you don't have to pretend to be okay… they won't think you're weak or nothin', you know that right?..."

Jay gave her an incredibly tired look before turning away.

"What happened to the Jay that wasn't afraid to let people know how he's feelin' huh? The one that turned every emotion into a show….?"

He kept his head down, shoulders stiff, before speaking...

"....Cause I'm not just sad this time…. " As he looked up slowly an emotion that was rarely seen on the mans face showed itself, flooding his eyes. 

"W- when I'd talked to Robin and Batgirl that last time and asked about Batman they gave each other this look and…. Something's wrong… he's in trouble or something I… I can feel it…..  W-what if he doesn't come back and he leaves me here all alone an-" 

Harley put a polished nail up to Jay's lips and smiled warmly.

"Shhhh…. You're worryin' too much puds… ur big dumb brain is just an overdramatic liar… don't listen to it okay?" 

Jay sniffled, giving her an understanding nod.

"You still got me an' your crew an' Bud and all the other little silly things that make ya days good doncha?"

He smiles halfheartedly. "Y-yeah…. But still… he was..."

"I know… he's special….but do you seriously think anything out there could actually kill Batman? THE Batman? C'mon now….  He's luckier than any bastard out there and you know it…"

"Yeah…. Yeah I guess ur right"

"Of COURSE I'm right!… now come on…" she offers her hand and helps her friend stand up. "Let's get that hair done and those nails shined up  so you're brain can take a break from making all those nasty thoughts" 

Jay smiled a little wider this time, forever grateful he had a friend as great as Harley around… he really didn't know what he'd do without her sometimes...

"Right…. Also… uh…. Harley?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for….uh…. Bein'... around… I guess…" Jay practically mumbled...

Harley smiled knowingly, amused with his poor attempt of gratitude

"No problem, Pud's….." she gave him a peck on the forehead leaving a black smudge behind 

"now enough mush...Let's clean this mess and get ya fabbed up"

________________

A few hours later, Jay stood outside the titular iceberg lounge in his best winter fit, a long boa around his shoulders and a pair of unnecessary sunglasses obscuring the mascara he'd only half ruined on the way there…. 

He truly, honestly, did not feel like socializing with anyone at the moment, but who was he to refuse a doctor's orders?....

Taking a deep breath of the cold winter air, Jay stiffened up, smoothed the wrinkles from his vintage memphis style sweater and entered the lounge, heels high and head high as he could manage 

____________

When the doors swung open with a swirl of winter snow, Jay was greeted by a surprisingly full and stunningly silent room. Christmas music cut through the tension like a knife as everyone stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to Joker's fashionably late arrival.

He didn't know if it was because of his natural ability to demand attention or the fact that he hadn't been seen in nearly 3 weeks, but for some reason the room seemed slightly on edge. worried he'd come with another Joker brand surprise perhaps. Thankfully, Harley, who'd left his place a little earlier to get everything ready, noticed who'd finally arrived.

"JJ!! YOU MADE IT!!" she leaped off her stool and came running to grab him, The rest of the room taking it as a cue to un-tense and to go back to their festivities, the lounge lighting up  with warm greetings and laughter.

" Hey…" said Jay as Harley put an arm around his shoulder and escorted him to the booth she was sitting at….  

"So… is all of this for me or…?"

"No, did she tell you that?" Ivy who was sitting at the booth with his other less than fond acquaintance, Catwoman and someone else he didn't seem to recognize, gave a snide smile, Jay suddenly felt he should probably sit someplace else

"IVY!! SHHH" Harley shushed

"What? He was gonna find out out eventually…. It was supposed to be Penguin's annual winter ball" 

"Uh,It still is tho…?" said Kat, mouth full of shrimp 

"Well, yah…. Difference is we had to 'finesse' Penguin into letting HIM in" Ivy explained, disdain in her voice

"And you... helped with that?..." asked Jay, surprised. Ivy sighed

"for Harley's sake, yes. not yours" 

Jay smiled, amused. "well how charitable of you, here's to hoping you won't regret it"

Ivy rolled her eyes. "As if I don't already" she said, taking a short sip from her drink, Harley sitting down next to her give her thank u peck on the cheek.

"Hey, why'd you get banned from this dump anyway?" Asked Kat, eyes squinting curiously 

"I have no idea…." Jay shrugged 

"He put a coke and mento bomb in the fountain!" Harley interrupted 

"Oh yeah…." He'd totally forgot

"Ha! Awesome…" 

"Right uh, anyway, who the hell are you?" Jays attention suddenly turned to the woman sitting opposite of kat. She had light blue skin, bright white eyes and hair that made her look like a human lighting rod.

"Name's Livewire." She said, voice sharp as her appearance 

"She's from Metropolis" explained Ivy. Jay rose a brow.

"Metropolis huh?? How'dya like dealin' with boy scout full time over there?" He quizzed 

"Sweet!…" she exclaimed enthusiastically "Big blue aint got a thing on me! 'sides, dweeb's been outta town for months now! metropolis might as well be my personal playground"

The mentioning of Superman's absence made something in Jay's chest twist. He'd known their neighbor hero had been MIA for even longer than Batman, Supergirl taking over the workload just like Batgirl had in Gotham. but still… the reminder was enough to worry him. I mean… if superman was taking so much time up there, what chance did Batman have against whatever it was they were so busy with??

Trying his best to shake off the uneasiness building in his stomach Jay took a breath and snapped back to reality, offering Livewire his hand

"Well, uh... Livewire, i'm this city's head honcho while the bat's gone so welcome to Gotham and try not to wear it out" 

Harley and Ivy exchanged looks as Jay smiled slyly and took Livewires hand…

...Only for his usual gesture of hospitality to be met with an equally shocking grip that sent blue sparks flying in every direction.

"DAMN, what the- !! " Jay yanked his hand back and held it in pain, hot needles running up his arm.The new addition to Harley's crew laughed crudely and smiled

 "why do you think they call me 'LIVEWIRE' genius?" 

Jay stayed silent with defeat as the table went up in hysterics "Yeah fine, okay, I shoulda saw that one coming" he sighed and smoothed out his hair which had sprung up to stand on end, his face ever so slightly red "anyway, you ladies have a nice time… i'll set up shop somewhere else and let you guys… idk… flirt with each other or whatever..." without much fanfare he slunk off to sit someplace else.

After the table had settled down completely though, Harley noticed Jay making his way to the bar looking somewhat dejected.

"Aw Jay…." 

The rest curiously turned their attention to the direction of Harley's gaze.

"You're not going after him are you?" Asked Ivy after a beat.

"Well… yeah…?" Harley shrugged.

"Uhm, why?" Asked kat, dipping more shrimp into her cocktail "like if he's not in the mood for a joke that's kinda his problem…?"

"Yeah, but still…. I've never seen 'im like this for so long…. He's usually so funny and animated, it's like somethin' drained all the life out of 'im…." The concern on Harley's face was very apparent. Ivy brushed back a few strands of her hair and tried her best to reassure her.

"Look i'm sure he'll get his second wind when Batman comes back at some point… but ‘til then it's not your job to take care of him…" 

Harley sighed silently. "I know but… he's still my best friend… and if I hadn't met him, I wouldn'ta met you!" She squished close to her spouse with a smile, Ivy suddenly unable to hold back a small one herself.

"He helped me outta my slump all those years ago, least I can do is help 'im outta his..."

Ivy gave her a soft look before reluctantly caving "Kindness has always been your best and worst trait, silly bee…" she said with a smirk "fine, go ahead and do your thing, I've got plenty of company over here in the meantime…"

Harley smiled happily and gave her one last kiss before running off to join Jay at the bar.

____________

Jay sat alone at the bar in silence until he was suddenly startled by Harley's arrival.

 "What's shakin' grumpy gills?" She asked pulling up a stool.

Jay didn't answer as the bartender slid over a funfetti martini topped with the works, Jay lazily catching it and drinking deeply.

"Those guys didn't get ta ya did they? I know they seem mean bu- "

"Ah… I don't care about them…" said Jay dismissively  "we're all villains here right? I'm sure they got their reasons… sides, Livewire's pretty fun even if she did fry my Joy buzzer" He said regretfully…

"So what's up then…?" Asked Harley, head tilted 

Jay looked down at the table with a frown, fingers anxiously scraping the side of the glass in his hand….

"What she'd said about metropolis…. And… superman…."

"Oh…"  Harley nodded "well…. I'm sure they're together wherever they are…. Right? Him and Batman? And I mean, with Superman around, he's bound to be okay….." 

Jay had a hard time matching her enthusiasm but that logic did comfort him some. "Yeah… yeah I guess so"

"C'mon Jay, you gotta get that stuff off your mind for a minute! Go mingle! Go dance!… look at everyone who came this time! Turn-out's never been so big!"

As Jay's looked around the room, Harley did have a point, usually these get-togethers only managed to scrounge up about half the gang, but it looked like almost all the rogues in town had come this time. Even D-listers like Polkadot man, Killer Moth, Crazy Quilt ect. Had managed to show up, plus people he didn't seem to recognize…

For example at the bar sat Scarecrow and a… Oddly scruffy looking man he looked to be sharing a drink with. He'd heard from Riddler over the phone some time ago that crow had found himself a friend and that the two were "in cahoots".  whatever that was supposed to mean. He supposed that must've been the "friend" in question…

A few tables down sat another unfamiliar  in a polkadot shirt and a pair of cracked thick lensed glasses. He had a peculiar looking puppet sitting on his lap which made J raise a brow, but he didn't judge. Looking at his woefully nervous face he guessed it must it must've been a security thing anyway… 

Despite the big crowd though, Jay did notice one person missing of whom he hadn't seen in quite a while...

"Yeah I guess everyone is here...  except uh, Lex I guess…?" Jay considered himself friends with metropolises king of corruption, even if the feeling wasn't always mutual. Seeing so many crooks he knew in one place made him realize how rare it was to see the mal hearted mogul at these things.

Unfortunately, Harley could only shrug with defeat. "Ah I tried to get Lex but you know how he is… nobody's seen that shut in for ages".

Jay's eyes narrowed at that "How long is ages…. ?" He pressed

"I dunno… a few months guess???  Livewire said he's been quiet lately, probably off in one of his labs making some over convoluted instrument of destruction I guess"

The growing list of missing big shots was beginning to piece something together in Jay's head… what on earth was Lex up to? Where was superman?? Why did the league need Batman's help? How did it all connect?? After a moment Harley noticed Jay slipping into his thoughts again and shook his shoulder lightly to pull him out of it.

"Hey, don't worry about that egghead. he'd only kill the mood if he were here anyway" 

Jay couldn't disagree, the billionaire was kind of notorious for being a giant stick in the mud.

"If you're really worried about what's goin' on with those guys, you can come up with a plan Tomorrow…. right now we got a' open dance floor, unlimited drinks and a Karaoke competition that's about ta kick off in ten"

The word 'Karaoke' was enough to snap Jay back to reality. "Did you say Karaoke?" 

"Yes, I did."

"Do they hav-"

"Yes, they have Queen" 

Jay nearly looked as if someone had told him the best news of his life. "Oh thank god" maybe Harley was right. Worrying would have to wait. 

_____________

The rest of the night went on with few hang ups. Drinks poured, music played and poorly screeched lyrics kept the mood upbeat.

The Karaoke stage hosted performance after performance, some more enthusiastic than others. Some painful, others surprisingly pleasant. Jay's teetered off the edge of both categories, but when "somebody to love" burst through those speakers, he'd sung it with his whole chest. The best performance by a long shot though had to be Ivy's who's affinity for 50's ballads lent to her beautifully rich voice and her's was closely followed by the Dent's who'd decided to attempt a duet with no chorus which everyone found somewhat impressive.

Emotions did flare up once or twice though, as they tend to do when it comes to villain gatherings. Ed and Jay got into a fight about something stupid and unimportant, both obviously enjoying themselves, Bane and Croc engaged in an arm wrestle that woefully ended in a tie, and Jay inevitably got worked up about Batman again, this time with a crowd of eager listeners somewhat entertained by his rambling, giving questionable advice here and there.

At the get-together's height, the dance floor had filled to the point where Penguin was just about ready to call the whole event off until Riddler dragged him on to the floor himself.

After another hour or so the party wound down some more and the night devolved into quiet discussions between friends, everyone either ready to leave or half asleep. Eventually Jay and Two-face of all people were left alone. Once Ed, Crow, Hatter and the rest had gone home.

Jay always liked Harv, for someone known for his temper he seemed to have a lot of patience and Jay found both of his selves uniquely interesting in their own ways. Harvey the "handsome" one was always very nice, easily flustered, and had a sadness in his eyes that was hard to ignore. "Dent", the one famous for all those 2 themed crimes, was a bold individual and one of the most brutally honest people he knew. That night though, even he seemed a little sad. He admitted later that it was because it'd been a while since he'd gotten to talk to his old pal Bruce, someone Jay was mildly familiar with of course, and they spent the rest of the night discussing Batman and wayne and how they seemed so similar until it really was time to head home. 

 sometime after midnight, long after everyone had either left or found someplace to pass out, Harley broke up with her girl gang again to come get Jay who'd fallen asleep in an empty booth.

"Wake up clown" she said loudly, nudging him a bit. Jay giggled quietly in response, turning over after a moment and opening his eyes.

"Oohh what's up??"

"Time to go." 

"Aw…" Jay huffed disappointedly, then did his best to sit up straight, his head slowly spinning as he did so "ah jeeze…"

"Don't worry I called one of your guys, he's waiting outside." She explained "I dragged you here, might as well drag you home" 

"You did that for me?" Jay smiled "That's so nice…."

"Mhm" carefully, she took his hand got him to his feet, doing her best to keep him up straight. As they headed out they met up with Ivy at the door

"Taking pennywise home?" She asked 

"It'll only take a minute" Harley assured 

"Alright… don't take too long…" she turned to leave but before she could, Jay suddenly spoke up.

"H-hey, Wait!" 

Ivy turned around, brow raised "You have something to say to me?"

"Uh… yeah? I mean… sort of? I just, uh… wanted to say i'm sorry for…  messing up your garden all those times…." 

Ivy blinked "Why are you telling me this now?"

"I just thought you shud kno….  And that um…. Maybe you'd hate me…. A little less... if I said sorry for once..." the frown on Jays face was absolutely pitiful, Ivy could only roll her eyes.

"I don't hate you… Joker"

"Oh?"

"I just think you're annoying…."

"Oh…." Jay couldn't really tell if that was any better but at the moment he was too drunk to care. "Okay…"

With that ivy turned around to join Kat and Livewire

"Thanks for the apology though I suppose…Take care of yourself…. And, Harley don't take too long… it's only 1:00am we still have plans."

"Don't worry Ive's  i'll catch up." 

after one last look, Ivy went back on her way and Harley continued walking J to his car.

As they went Jay hummed to himself, swaying slightly, until a certain thought made him go quiet again.

"....Harley….?" He asked suddenly.

"Yeah, J?"

"Am I a bad friend?" The question just as out of the blue as his apology to Ivy…. 

Harley looked at him, concerned "Why do ya ask?"

"I just…. Please?" He pleaded. Harley hesitated for a long moment but decided being honest was probably best.

" not exactly but… maybe sometimes"

"Hm…" Jay decided he'd have to work on that

"But I also know ya don't really wanna hurt anybody…. That you try your best everyday ta make people happy and that you've been through just as much any of us….  A few mean comments an' dumb pranks ain't gonna make anybody think you're the devil or somethin'….not me or any of the other guys... "

Jay had to smile at that, Harley always had something smart or nice to say no matter what. still, her answer only made him feel worse about how he'd been earlier when she was just trying to help… he really, honestly, didn't deserve her…. But the least he could do was let her know he was glad to have her...

"Harley…?"

"Yeah, J…"

"Thanks for being really, really great all the time… and… y'know… around… " Harley smiled as she secured his arm around her shoulders. 

"Thanks J..." 

"also sorry for sucking sometimes..."

She sighed. "It's fine Jay…."

carefully, she hauled his ragdolling body a few more feet and shoved him into the back seat of his car. J grunting as his head hit the leather seat.

"Now go home an' try not to get lost on your way to the door" She said sternly. Jay gave her a lazy wink and a pair of wobbly finger guns.

"Gotcha." 

with that,Harley slammed the door shut and the J-Mobile's engine roared to life. One his lackeys sitting in the driver's seat.

"Where to boss? HQ?"

"Yup… ah, sorry t' call ya out so late…"

"S'alright boss…. Don't worry about it"

As the car lurched forward, street lights shining in through the windows as snow fell ever so lightly over Gotham like a dusting of fresh powdered sugar, Jay did inevitably start thinking about Batman again, wondering when he'd come back, desperately wishing he knew anything about where he was right now….

The thoughts were hard to ignore and when he got home he knew he'd be surrounded by the same walls he'd spent the last month trapped with them in….  even so, the world felt a little less washed out than it had before he left, and it wasn't just because of the alcohol swirling in his blood. 

He may not have had Batman... But today reminded him he wasn't alone.

He had friends… real friends… In a way he'd always considered them such… but deep down there was always doubt. I mean sure he got along better with some than others, but after knowing people so long he shouldn't have been so dumb to think they hated him as much as he thought they did. 

When you're a villain in Gotham sometimes all you have are other weirdos in the same boat as you to help keep you and everyone else afloat. People need people in more ways than one…  and as Jay drifted off to sleep in the back of his gaudy getaway vehicle, laying in a position that was just barely comfortable, he pushed his worries aside and made sure that was something he'd never let himself forget.

~ End ~

[translations-by-aiimee]

Dig a Grave to Dig Out a Ghost - Chapter 16

Original Title: 挖坟挖出鬼

Genres: Drama, Horror, Mystery, Supernatural, Yaoi

This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.

Chapter Index

Chapter 16 - Game

Ten minutes later, Lin Yan appeared on the stage awkwardly wearing a silver-grey robe with a small dragon pattern embroidered on it. All ten participants took their seats. Even the Professor File Folder put on a traditional teacher's outfit. The buzzing activity coming from the crowd made Lin Yan blush. It felt like he was sitting on pins and needles; it was uncomfortable no matter how he tried to adjust himself.

This whole situation felt like a melodrama between Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai. He couldn't help but glance back at Xiao Yu several times. The only real ancient man in the audience was standing behind him with a frown. Looking at him with a serious stare, he pressed his hand against Lin Yan's shoulder, like he was trying to comfort him.

When he changed his clothes, he noticed that something was wrong with Xiao Yu, or maybe it was just everything that was wrong. In the dressing room, the ghost had wrapped himself around him and hugged him. He pushed and shoved the other around the narrow room, creasing his costume. Just as Lin Yan was about to start fighting back, Xiao Yu suddenly stopped tugging him around. He pulled him over to the mirror, put his chin on Lin Yan's shoulder and he stared at the person in the reflection. For the first time, his chaotic eyes seemed calm, even holding a quiet sadness.

The mirror surface swayed, like a droplet hitting a calm pool of water, waves rippling away from the center. Standing in the brass mirror was a young man standing with clear eyes, hands resting beside a cloud brocade waistband, and a face exuding pride. Lin Yan backed away in horror. He almost screamed. The person in the mirror wasn't him. Although he had the exact same face, life had done a number on him and he wouldn't be able to make an expression like that anymore.

The scent of agarwood incense in the room was intoxicating. The young man's eyes softened. The tall man in the traditional Chinese clothes adjusted his chin on his shoulder, raising his long eyebrows. His voice was slow and hoarse, as if he hadn't spoken in a long time: "I've been waiting for you for so long. . ."

Lin Yan's head snapped back to the mirror. He staggered forwards and leaned against the mirror. The person in front of him had hair as black as paint, and his mottled blood coat didn't match his eyes that seemed so sad and hopeless. . .

I have been waiting for you for a long time.

Lin Yan scrambled out of the dressing room.

"The break is over. Please quiet down and we'll get started with our next activity." The girl in the red jacket skirt read.

Lin Yan sat in the chair in a daze. The bright stage lights and the dark crowd in the audience made him feel like what just happened in the dressing room was a hallucination, and Xiao Yu was no different. Lin Yan looked back at him, panicked. Xiao Yu leaned down and held his trembling hand. On the table were a small whiteboard and a soft black marker. Xiao Yu motioned for him to pick it up and he moved his hand across the whiteboard: I'll help you.

Lin Yan was stunned and wrote out: Do you remember something?

Xiao Yu didn't seem to want to answer. He shook his head and let go of his hand. He still stood behind him holding onto Lin Yan's shoulder for support.

The audience quieted down, and bright white chasing lights hit the mahogany silk box on the centre of the stage. The red jacket skirt girl stepped forward to open the silk box, revealing the glass box within. The audience let out a few exclamations, and Lin Yan's eyes lit up. It was a beautiful moon flask with two handles. The maiden leaned against the tree art, the linework was meticulous, the enamel fully covered the flask, the piece was still intact, and the overall flask was in good condition.

This authentification wasn't difficult for a student studying cultural relics. Lin Yan carefully looked at the glaze texture and enamel of the flask's body. He wrote his answer on the whiteboard after double-checking that it was correct. When the time was up, the host walked past the square table and stopped when he reached the PSP guy, holding up her mic and asking: "You, what's your answer?"

The PSP guy’s whiteboard turned out to be empty. He was leaning on the table and his attention was focused on his game. When the host asked the second time, he raised his head as if he had just woken up. He glanced lazily around and sarcastically twitched the corners of his mouth into a smile. "It's genuine," he spat out. Then he brushed the host off and lowered his head to continue playing the game.

Lin Yan knew this guy was arrogant, but he didn't expect him to act this to everyone. The girl in the red jacket skirt was embarrassed by PSP's attitude. After putting a polite expression back on her face, she nodded and walked to the next student.

"Well. . . There were nine students who got the answer right, might as well switch it up for the last one." The audience let out a good laugh, and the boy three places down from Lin Yan grinned and left the stage. The professor briefly spoke about the flask. Lin Yan cleaned off the whiteboard and waited for the next question. His mind couldn't get over what he saw. He thought that most people wouldn't make a mistake on such a simple question. It seemed that the people on the stage were not as professional as they thought.

Professor File Folder also seemed a little disappointed. He took a sip from his stainless steel cup and turned his attention to the laptop, not knowing what he was looking at.

The brocade box in the center of the stage was swapped with a smaller one. After the mysterious sound effect, the box slowly opened. It was an ancient book. The host motioned everyone to take a closer look. Lin Yan stood in front of the glass box for a while and returned to his seat to write the next answer: "Genuine, the Southern Opera "White Rabbit" published in the Ming Dynasty, unearthed from the tomb of the Xuan family in Jiading."

He had seen this thing in the Shanghai Museum. Lin Yan thought, this lecture is like an antique appreciation meeting. No wonder it attracted so many people. After they all answered the question, another person left the stage amidst the applause and whistle of the audience, leaving another armchair free.

The questions were asked one by one, gradually getting more and more difficult. A fake yet elaborate sunflower gold hairpin inlaid with gemstones stumped three people, and then a bucket-colour fine-grained water chestnut bucket imitation with a "grinding" technique even had Lin Yan hesitate with his answer. After the authenticity of each item was announced, the professor simply added a few points on the piece, which could count as educating the audience on the topic. The seats were vacated one by one. When the eighth object was brought out, there were only two people left on the stage. Lin Yan glanced to the right, and it was the PSP guy who had toughed it out until the end.

He looked careless, but he didn't expect that he understood the field so well. Lin Yan put his cold palms on his face to cool down and took a long breath as he waited for the next question.

The red jacket skirt girl was holding a delicate paper box in her hand. Instead of showing it to the audience first, she walked over to Lin Yan and the PSP guy, signalling them to come forward. She opened the paper box and carefully took out a fan.

The ink on the front of the golden fan wasn't very visible; it wasn't well-preserved. The ribs of the fan were slightly damaged, and there are signs of water damage on the ink-painted mountains. With this kind of condition, it would be difficult to fetch a good price in a private auction if it wasn't made by a famous artist. But when the inscription on the face of the fan was exposed, Lin Yan and the PSP man couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. On the front, a few lines of the unruly inscription were written on the fan: “Wildwater Bridge Road, The Village of Barren Chickens and Fallen Leaves. Returned to Hou Xidu, The Child Sweeps the Firewood Door." What surprised the two of them were the three small characters following the poem: by Tang Yin.

Lin Yan's heart sped up. If this was Tang Yin's authentic work, then the fan in front of him was worth at least 500,000 yuan. Wasn't he afraid of being robbed bringing such a valuable thing to school? Then a clear picture of the fan was shown on the big screen. As expected by Lin Yan, an exclamation sounded from the audience, and even the host's voice was drowned by the buzzing discussion.

Professor File Folder grew impatient and coughed into the loudspeaker to signal the audience to shift their attention back to the event.

Lin Yan carefully looked at the light brown fan in front of him. He couldn't help but take his time with his answer. Tang Yin's paintings were extremely difficult to distinguish in the field of calligraphy and painting. His style of painting changed throughout his pieces, and he rarely indicated the year on the paintings so it was difficult to guess the painting based on its creation year. Therefore, there were countless counterfeiters and imposters on the market. To be honest, judging this kind of work could only be based on the painting style, date and seal inscription. The most important thing is the eye and inspiration of the connoisseur. Being extremely familiar with the author’s style, the first time he saw the work, he could only make a guess. This wasn't just an answer determined by years of study, but it was also just a luck-based gamble.

In the early years of the founding of the People’s Republic of China, many collectors relied on this ability to make money at auctions overnight, but it was too difficult for students like Lin Yan who hadn’t even finished school. He frowned and thought carefully. Regardless of the painting style, the date and the handwriting of this fan were almost flawless. Although there was a slight deviation from Tang Yin's other landscape paintings, the vigorous and unrestrained spirit of the brush strokes clearly distinguished this piece.

It should be the original one. . . Lin Yan bit on his pen and hesitated. Halfway through writing out his answer, his wrist was suddenly grabbed. Xiao Yu bent down and studied the fan carefully. His fingers lightly tracing the red seal and he seemed surprised. He shook his head at Lin Yan and crossed off the half-written "true" on the whiteboard with his hand.

"After so long, you still haven't figured it out?" PSP guy leaned over to Lin Yan casually with a disdainful expression. Seeing Lin Yan still holding the pen hesitantly, he couldn't help but sneer, "I thought you were so awesome."

The file folder-like professor was staring at his notebook in a daze. Hearing these words, he couldn't help turn his head around and looked at the two with interest. Lin Yan just focused his attention on the painting instead and had forgotten to be nervous. As soon as he raised his head to meet the professor's gaze, his cheeks became hot again. He couldn't help but cry inside. He originally planned to wait for the end of the event to ask the professor backstage regardless of whoever won the contest. Now he feels like he wouldn't be able to ask him anything if he lost to this guy in this activity.

"Hurry up, hurry up." PSP guy tapped the table with a pen and made some muffled noises. "Just go home already, you aren't qualified for this."

When the professor heard this, he couldn't hide his amusement and turned his face to take a sip of water to cover up his expression.

That was rude. He hadn't finished yet. Lin Yan clenched his fist and asked Xiao Yu as quietly as possible: "Are you sure?" Xiao Yu nodded, his pale fingers stroked his throat, and frowned. After a long time, it seemed that it took a lot of effort to say slowly and hoarsely: ". . . I drew it."

Lin Yan's eyes widened. He looked at Xiao Yu in disbelief, and then at the fan. In ancient times, there was no perfect reprinting technology. Famous paintings and calligraphy were often copied by literati and calligraphers. Some were for practice, some were to give to friends. Some were for selling, and the prices of those high-quality copies were even comparable to the originals. But Xiao Yu's counterfeit actually appeared here. . . Wasn't this too much of a coincidence?

"Dude, if you don't know what it is, stop wasting our time." Seeing Lin Yan's hesitation, the PSP guy shook his head impatiently. He lowered his head and continued to play his game, pressing the buttons with his thumb, clicking them loudly.

Lin Yan was also irritated but by this person's attitude. He took a deep breath and wrote his answer on the whiteboard. The crowd in the audience couldn't wait. The people in the nearby seats pointed at the PowerPoint. Someone nodded gently, seeming to recognize the authenticity of the painting.

The sound effect of a gong sounded, and when the host read out the answers of the two, Lin Yan heard a commotion in the audience and even a disdainful sneer from the corner of the room. However, the PSP guy completely ignored the audience’s reaction and crossed his legs. He glanced at Lin Yan, touched the pimples on his face and raised an eyebrow with a chuckle: "You're right, not bad."

The same answer was written on both whiteboards: fake.

The professor showed an appreciative smile on his face for the first time. After he said the right answer, he grabbed the microphone and explained to the audience: "Tang Yin's fan "Xiqiao Going Back to the River", a work made during the Ming Dynasty Chenghua period. The author is unknown. The two students answered correctly."

There was a sigh from the auditorium. This time, most of the people who had thought they were right about their guess couldn't help pointing at the screen to discuss the flaws in the fan. There was even a school official wearing a black suit in the front row who had turned around and argued fiercely with the guests in the back row.

Author unknown? Lin Yan wasn't focusing on the fan, instead looking back at Xiao Yu. His hands still rested on his shoulder, but he didn't respond to anything Professor File Folder was saying. Instead, he frowned as if immersed in memory. He seemed really lost in thought. Lin Yan looked into Xiao Yu's eyes, no longer as wild as a beast like when he first saw him. Now, his dark eyes were like the surface of the river after sunrise, and the turbid fog was slowly burned away in the sun, revealing a hint of clarity from within the chaos.

"Now that the first nine rounds are over, please give your attention to the last round with these two classmates, which is also the most difficult round today." The red jacket skirt girl raised her voice and signalled to something behind her.

[theglguidetowebcomics]

Full review: Girly

What’s Pink, insane, NSFW, hilarious, and somehow heartwarming at points? This comic is a ride and a half, and I’m genuinely surprised more people haven’t heard of this one… I’ve been wanting to talk about this one for a WHILE. 

So let’s talk about the elephant in this room… Because I think it just ate someone’s couch. 

Slightly NSFW review with spoilers below.

Girly, by Jackie Lesnick was a webcomic that ran between 2003 and 2010, (and really has some of those early webcomic hallmarks). Its monochromatic pink, vertical, with a poppy early cartoon feel. It’s also listed as a romantic comedy, which is… correct, but cuts a whole lot of what makes this comic good, short. 

This review was always going to be one of the 4 I really struggled with. And not just because I lost it the first time without a back up in a code glitch, got distracted by a pandemic, then procrastinated my way to finally making a second version in my new backup folder… No, well also yes but no. This was a comic I read when I was younger (and should NOT have read  when I was younger), and have always had a soft spot for. I’ll admit as much as this comic has its flaws or weird moments or just weirdness in general, its one of the few comics I’ve found myself rereading in its entirety more than once. And no matter how much I know it's coming, find myself sobbing, uncontrollably, at the final panel. There’s surprisingly a lot of heart in this comic, and a whole lot of honesty in just the direction the author took this weird little thing. But, first let me take of those rose tinted glasses as much as I can… (actually that might not work too well with a pink comic seriously whats with all these early 2000s lesbian comics being PINK?). And give this old comic a look and a bit of a dust. but , first...

Sex.

Getting to the point - page 3 of “Girly”

Girly is a NSFW comic. It’s not shy about it either. It hits the audience (and the main character) over the head with it literally in the first pages. It has sex positive characters, a sex positive world, some characters with… sex powers almost, and Dildos, a whole lot of dildos. Some even with smiley faces on them. It’s a pretty unavoidable part of the comic that makes up a large core of it’s humour and is baked into its wacky world. So if that’s not your thing, and it’s not really skippable in this case, you won’t like this comic.

But, if you’re alright with that part of it this might just be a hidden gem. Moving on.

Art

Artwork is always interesting in webcomics. They’re usually one man shows, have a weird niche / strong influences, and or usually go on massive journeys as the art improves. Girly is no different here. 

Girly starts out rough. Some poses are wonky and its a bit scratchy. Technically speaking it has a few issues, which is fine. Its a free webcomic, from the 2000s that didn't copy and paste faces. (Won’t name names, you know who you are). You can’t be too harsh on a free comic, though.

However, what the art style does, even early on is set the style and feel of the comic. Anime inspired faces, bold outlines, and blocky silhouettes that were really popular with 90’s and 2000s cartoons. It has a newspaper, manga comedy strip vertical style, too. It fits the style of story well as a poppy wacky story. It's the perfect art style it could take.

Its rough in the beginning, but moves on from its scratchy days, to loose pen brush, to finally a polished free hand poppy style. It gets more technically advanced as it goes along, but it keeps its core style throughout. It’s fun, a little unhinged, and just pares perfectly.

The one issue I have with the art is it comes off as a bit cramped. It certainly matches the energy of the story, but it also feels like it doesn't let the characters have any breathing room in the frame. It comes off as squashed, and can make some character poses hard to read. That’s the only complaint I can find though. The issue even fixes itself later in the story, but just very very close to the end. It looks great there, but the majority of the comic is a little cramped. Still that’s just a small complaint.

Nitpicking here but some panels need a lil more room

This a humour comic foremost. It's the biggest part of what makes Girly specifically Girly.

Humour

The humour is mostly wacky nonsense, playing off its insane characters, physics defying world, everything being dialed up to 11. It also works a lot like satire, poking at what influences it, and playing with cinematic expectations. The first page has Otra shooting someone into space on a rocket because they annoyed them, the first “adventure” the character’s go on is stealing everyone’s pants because they couldn’t find anything else to do. Then there’s the kidnapping adventures, knight trials, and slice of life shenanigans that happen. All of it as wacky as the last. I haven’t really found any other lesbian comics like it. Its not everyone’s tastes, but it is certainly unique.

If you’re into a willy wonka tunnel of over the top characters and plots, you’ll like Girly.

Characters

Girl is a LONG comic, it ran for 7 years. The art evolved, the story writing, jokes, and themes along with it. It was originally meant to run for only 50 strips... and it ended up with 764. 

so, there’s a lot to unpack.

Firstly, the premise of the story is somewhat simple. It focuses on Otra. The kinda straight man to the entire universe. She starts out almost depressed, out of place, and bored of the wacky inhabitants of her world. Until one of those wacky residents smacks her over the head with a giant dildo and won’t leave her alone for the next 7 years of run time. 

What follows is the sullen Otra being pulled around by the always cheery and zany nonsensical Winter as the sidekick for bizarre adventures. Otra’s depressive grounded view keeps the bizarreness funny, while Winter cuts through her negative attitude and causes a lot of the over the top plot. Leaving Otra to warm up to the world, and Winter to get less reckless as they balance eachother out. It’s a fun dynamic, and works as an emotional core of the story. No matter how weird the plot and rules of the world are, their relationship keeps the story somewhat focused and rewarding to see develop.

An example of bold wacky character designs from even early on

The comic isn’t just about them, though. As an ensemble comic there's plenty of side characters that go through arcs and beats as well. From el chubacabre, the man that woman find so irresistible that they sleep with him as soon as they see him; detective Clapjaw the street wise detective who is very bad at his job; Officer Hipbone and police guy from the cute P D; captain fist the ever popular bad at his job superhero who gets all the credit; the news reporter obsessed with captain fist; the woman with babies; Steak;  the elephants that just… appear and eat buildings; among many many others. A lot of whom also have nicely written character arcs and depth in later chapters. Many of the character however are simple and remain simple, which isn’t a bad thing. For such a large cast, having a diverse range of strange characters with strong identities and looks even if a bit simple stops it from getting bogged down. It strikes a good balance. Plus there’s plenty enough of characters with more depth later on. 

 All the character’s are insane, and over the top in a way that really sets up the world they live in and how it works... as dysfunctional as it is. There’s something very Cartoon Network about all the characters, but with some wider influences. something about  dumb characters, with very specific goals and quirks that work on their own physics to feed into the high energy insanity of the world. Its entertaining to read, and leads to a weirdly charming feel of the comic. 

Story and plot

For the bit people actually want to know about. What is it about?

Just a little bit of influences...

For the style itself the comic comes off as a mix between early 2000s slice of life-y anime, 2000s cartoon Network, and a dose of 2000s webcomic sarcastic action/adventure flare. It definitely has one of the most pronounced styles that I’ve seen, and even if it's very much a webcomic of it’s time it also goes a bit beyond that into something that feels personal to the author and honest. Its a batshit comic. But, it wears its influences on it’s sleeve and really plays with tropes and ideas the author found engaging at the time. It somehow comes off as refreshing in just how willing it is to go weird or niche for no other reason but because it wants to. It's what I appreciate most about the comic. It’s honest.

The overarching story of the comic is without a doubt about Otra and winter growing together as people. But with a comic that’s run for 7 years a little bit more happens in the journey, at least you hope it would. Girly runs on chapters, 15 in total (with 15 having sub chapters due to being the story’s climax), and each one of those chapters follows a different plot or adventure with Otra’s and Winter’s developing relationship gluing them together. 

The plots themselves are wild and vary a bit in quality. But for a long comic that’s understandable and expected. They go from solving elephant problems, super villains, body swapping, fantasy parodies, and all sorts of strange things. Sometimes a few plots drag and a few character arcs feel a bit bland. It still manages to be entertaining all the way through though. The plots themselves work to get the character’s to play off each other and explore the strange world it takes place in. Exploring evil teddy bears, or an entire town devoted to cheap gags. No matter what, all the plots work in fleshing out the world and pushing character’s out of their comfort zone or forcing them to change. There are some that are less fun than others, but none of them manage to be boring or useless. Which for a long comic such as this, is quite an achievement.

Conclusion

Girly is a hidden gem, Its an insane sex positive comic. A loose style and even looser physics. It’s bold and unabashedly itself. But, at its core it's about the love story of Winter, the wacky insane woman needing to slow down and open up, and Otra, a sullen woman who’s deemed herself only worthy of being on the outskirts of society. It’s two people growing together in a world that’s up to its ears in care bears, sentient dildos, earth shattering cloning, and jabs at 2000’s paste it comics. And somehow it all sticks together.

The characters resonated, at least with me, which may be the nostalgia talking. But by the end of the comic I can’t help but  think back on how long it took them to get there. The bits that made me laugh (a lot of them), the stupid parts, and the character’s arcs, as over the top they could be at times.  It may not everyone’s cup of tea. But it has a lot of heart at its core. (If you get past all the dildos). 

For all it’s flaws and weird bits. I still find myself going back to Girly. 

Maybe now, some more people will too.

[vlindervin7]

All I really have to say about this is that, considering the fact that I spend all my time thinking of both druck and the get down, it’s a miracle this didn’t happen sooner. You don’t need to have seen the get down to read this, but I would recommend watching this because it’s pure art. Enjoy

Read on ao3

David closes the door behind them. Matteo doesn’t immediately register what he’s seeing. David hadn’t exactly told him where they were going, just that he had something to show him. This isn’t what Matteo was expecting. 

He feels David come to stand next to him, but he can’t take his eyes off what he’s seeing. It’s a room, empty save for the lone mattress in the corner, and a few pots of paint and spray cans scattered all over the floor. And on the walls, from floor to ceiling, there is colour. Matteo immediately recognizes David’s signature art style that he’s been getting increasingly familiar with over the last few months, and it never fails to take his breath away. There’s so much of it, everywhere and Matteo’s eyes don’t know where to stop, each time they find something to take in, they find something else that demands their attention. It’s more colourful, bigger, and louder than most of David’s other art, almost like a living, breathing thing. It’s overwhelming in the very best way. 

David shifts next to him and it snaps Matteo back to earth and it occurs to him that he should probably say something. It’s a testament to how overwhelmed he is that all he can find to ask is: ‘What do you do when there’s no more space?’

He looks at David for the first time since they entered and oh, in all his awe he’d momentarily forgotten the most beautiful sight he’s still ever seen is standing right next to him. He’s heard some people say that art is always more interesting than the artist, but Matteo has everything he needs to prove that claim wrong right here. 

David breathes out a small laugh, looking a bit relieved to have Matteo responding, even if he’s amused at the direction Matteo’s thoughts have gone. ‘I paint over it.’

‘But then it’s all gone?’ 

The thought almost hurts, that all the beautiful things he can’t get enough of right now, might one day be gone because David needs to start over, and that he’ll never be able to see the however many layers that exist under this one. But then again, Matteo’s never been good with change. 

David shrugs. ‘Sometimes I take pictures, but it’s never really been about that. This is where I come to just feel. It’s not about making something aesthetically pleasing or whatever. I have my sketchbook and other projects for that. This is just where I let off steam.’ 

And Matteo can sort of see that. There’s no real harmony or continuation between the art on the walls, it’s a mix of colour and figures seemingly placed at random. With a jolt he suddenly recognizes his own face, and that’s a lot, the thought that David comes here to let his feelings do the talking where no one can hear, and he painted Matteo bursting with loud colours. 

Matteo reaches out to touch the wall closest to him, a sun or a big flower or maybe a disfigured face. He doesn’t know, but it’s pretty. 

‘I’ve never brought anyone here before’, David says, making Matteo turn around. ‘Not even Laura.’ 

His cheeks are that lovely red colour they are sometimes, and he looks nervous, unsteady on his feet and taking in Matteo’s movements. 

Matteo realizes how precious this is, how big of an honour it is to be shown this, essentially David’s soul on display, which is why he really doesn’t know what to say. He’s scared to say something that will ruin this moment that feels so delicate, or worse say something that won’t accurately convey how much this means to him. 

He pats his pockets and says a silent thanks to his past self for not returning the bright purple marker he’d borrowed from Mia. David looks at him in question when Matteo steps closer to one of the walls again, but he doesn’t stop him so Matteo keeps going. He finds an unmarked space in between swirls of blue, and in blocky letters, writes down ICH LIEBE DICH, before putting the marker away and turning to face David, self-conscious suddenly. He didn’t even ask. He hopes he hasn’t ruined his one chance to read the book of David’s heart, but no. When he catches David’s eye again, he’s beaming, so wide, and powerful enough to wake the butterflies that have been residing in Matteo’s belly permanently since a few months now. It really hasn’t been that long, no matter how much Matteo feels like he’s known David for years, and saying I love you still feels new, exciting although a familiar warmth has joined that feeling lately, making Matteo think that maybe this doesn’t have to wear an expiration date he hasn’t found yet. 

David doesn’t answer, not that he has to, it’s written all over his face and the walls around him. Instead, he bends down to pick up a red spray can. He shake it while coming to stand next to Matteo, an all black apparition contrasting with his bright art, and looks at the wall a moment before spraying, with such ease and comfort that it makes something hot unspool in Matteo’s belly, a bright red heart around Matteo’s words. It’s the sort of cheesy thing David himself would scoff at in movies, but coming from him it feels like the most special gesture in the world. 

Matteo feels like he’s going to catch on fire with all the love he’s feeling. 

For a moment they just stare at each other, laughing giddily. It reminds Matteo of that first time they hung out, like being a little kid again. 

David shakes himself out of it, and picks up a brush this time, before refilling his colour palette. Matteo watches him do it, wondering where this is going, but knowing he won’t mind if it’s not more than David doing his thing and letting Matteo watch, but when he’s done he turns back to Matteo and makes a sweeping gesture over the floor. ‘You’re free to use whatever you want.’

He feels warm at the permission, again feeling the weight of David letting Matteo free in the place that’s most his in the world. He doesn’t immediately take him up on the offer, though, distracted by the flecks of paints that have started appearing on David’s hands, his black shirt. He’d thrown his jacket and beanie in a corner when he entered the space and Matteo wonders if he’ll be careful with the state of his clothes or if he doesn’t care if they get dirty. 

He’s still just watching as David applies the brush to one of the blank spaces left, as he smiles without turning around and says, ‘Are you just going to stare at me, ‘cause you might want to get comfortable if that’s the case.’

‘Shut up’, Matteo mumbles, but he’s smiling at the smug tone David’s using. 

He doesn’t really know where to start, but he does want to try something. It’s always seemed fun to him to do graffiti, except the whole hiding from the cops thing sounded like too much of a hassle. This seems like something close to it, enough to be fun, even though he has very little artistic talent. It reminds him of doodling in David’s sketchbook, knowing it could never add up, but figuring it might make David smile later, the way he did when he watched him that first time. 

In the end he picks up a few spray cans and goes to sit down on the other side of the room where almost the entire lower wall is still a bright white. He shakes one of the cans like he’s seen people do in movies, and David earlier, and tries to vaguely spray the shape of one of the aliens in David’s movie. It’s not as easy it always looks to be, the easy way David had sprayed the perfectly shaped heart earlier. It’s messy and Matteo has trouble enough creating clear shapes as is, the can that feels too big in his hands not making any of that easier. He also didn’t know the paint would drip that heavily when holding the can slightly wrong. He tries his best, but the alien still comes out looking more like a grey green blue coloured blob than anything else. If anything, he gains a deeper appreciation for David’s art. 

The paint has dripped all over the floor and his arms and hands. 

Even if it was harder than it looks, Matteo was right in thinking it would be fun. He’s gone too long being in the same room as David without having his attention, though, and that’s significantly less fun. 

When he pushes himself up and turns around, David has his back turned to him like Matteo didn’t just catch him looking at him, silently laughing before turning away. He’s not even painting anything, just stands there in front of that half-painted forest view, innocently holding the palette in hand. 

‘Something funny?’

David slowly turns around, pretentiously holding the palette up with an innocent look on his face. ‘You talking to me?’, he asks.

Matteo pretends to play along, hoping to catch him in the act. “What do you think of my alien?”, he asks, pretending to be genuine. 

When David sets eyes on it, he laughs like he can’t help it. At Matteo’s raised eyebrows, he tries to hold it in, and holds up his hands, but he doesn’t entirely manage. ‘It’s… It’s very cute’, he says, morphing his face into a serious expression again. 

‘I’ll show you cute’, Matteo exclaims, launching himself at his boyfriend and smearing the paint on his hands all over David’s black shirt, and in the process accidentally knocking the palette over too, so that, now, the front his shirt is stained in a mixture of at least ten different colours.

Some of it’s even gotten on his pants. David gets very quiet for a moment, looking down at his clothes like he’s contemplating getting angry. Suddenly Matteo gets nervous. It had seemed like a good idea in the moment, something close enough to their usual play fighting, but maybe wasting David’s paint and ruining his clothes is taking it a step too far. After all, just because Matteo won’t spend more than five euros on an article of clothing, doesn’t mean David won’t either. 

The noise he makes when David grabs a large paint brush and smears it all over Matteo’s face, he decides to blame on the fact that he was worried his boyfriend would suddenly decide to break up with him, and not that he’s a big baby. Once he’s over the shock, he doesn’t hesitate to retaliate, though, and before he knows it, they’re both throwing smearing aiming paint at each other. Matteo’s laughing so hard he feels light, lighter than he’s maybe ever felt before, like every new drop of of paint that lands on his skin lifts him that much closer to unperturbed peace and he can feel it approaching, that happy state of mind where everything else becomes a blur and he’s able to simply give himself over to it and live in this moment with David forever. 

After a while, they’re not really battling anymore, instead have joined forces. They’re still using each other as a canvas, but it feels like art this time. The closest Matteo will probably get to making art as he picks out colours to addorn David with, and David does the same to him. 

The walls aren’t spared in their outburst, they’re being equally pelted. 

At one point, Matteo needs to stop because David, as lost as Matteo is in all of this, is almost dancing in the way he’s still creating beautiful things on these walls, all the while bringing his hands through his hair and messing it up, drawing Matteo close to him just to touch, and smiling through it all, never ceasing to smile. Sometimes he closes his eyes like he wants to soak in the rays of his invisible happiness, but he never stops moving. Matteo hasn’t prayed in a long time, but moving through this room with David, makes him think this is what it’s supposed to feel like. 

It makes sense now, what he’d said before, about coming here to feel because that’s what he’s doing. Matteo is this close to seeing the walls he holds around himself when he’s outside this room fall away, can see him come alive in a place in which he feels free. Freedom found in between these four walls. It should seem like a contradiction, but it’s not really. What both David and Matteo have in common, is that burning desire for a home, a place to simply exist as they are without the weight of the entire world’s gaze on their back, where they get to be part of something bigger without having to explain. 

That’s this room. 

There’s a moment David opens his arms wide like he’s standing in a sudden downpour and all Matteo sees is that bird he’d shown him when they’d just met, finally taking flight. 

He’s so full of light it feels like it should be dangerous to look at him directly, something that’s too bright to be observed by the naked eye, and a few months ago Matteo would’ve looked away in fear of catching on fire and having the whole world see him burn, but he’s not anymore. He’s so in love it feels like diving headfirst off a cliff, but he’s not afraid. Let the world watch as he falls and then, right when they’re all holding their breath watching him pummel to his death, take flight and surpass them all. 

They end up making out on the mattress, and Matteo loses his shirt but he can’t remember how it happened. All he can think of is David and his all-encompassing need to feel him against him. He shivers and is about to start whining when David gets up for a moment, but then he’s back, straddling him this time. He brings the tip of a paint brush to his shoulder and traces all over his collarbones and neck before reaching the other one. Then he picks out another colour and starts tracing figures on his stomach, arms, ribs, chest, waist. The paint is cold against his skin and it makes him shiver, but David is holding him down gently with one hand, and looking at him like he’s the best thing he’s ever seen, and really he’s mostly shivering with the weight of David on top of him and what it’s doing to his body. There’s nothing except David that could make him move right now. 

When David is satisfied with his work, he puts the paintbrush aside and lets his eyes sit heavy on Matteo’s bare skin, flicking up and down to his face, from his stomach, looking so serious like Matteo’s the piece of art he’s been working on for years, his magnum opus.   

Then, after Matteo is this close to making a sound because the undivided attention is on the verge of being too much, David bends over and then they’re kissing again. Less hurried, less frantic than before, but soft like the gentle music that plays at the end of an action-packed movie when the heroes finally find the peace they’ve been fighting for. That moment after an impossibly high note when the audience is silent for fear of breaking the magic, right before the star receives all the applause they deserve. 

It doesn’t last as long this time, a mutual declaration of trust. David settles his head on Matteo’s shoulder and they just breathe in the wake of all the beautiful chaos the room has had to endure. The toxic smell of the paint hangs heavy in the air, but Matteo feels like he’s never properly breathed until this very moment. 

When he deems it safe to speak, he says what’s been on his mind ever since he walked into the room. ‘There’s so much colour.’

Compared to David’s sketches and the art he posts online and the one he hangs on his wall, this room is so bright. Matteo wonders if it’s because David thinks he can’t afford to show his inner colours to the world for fear of having them tainted or if it’s something else. 

David must understand why Matteo decides to comment on that because he makes a small humming noise Matteo feels more than hears, before slightly turning his head so his mouth is free. ‘I’ve been really happy lately.’

They fall asleep right there, until hours later when they’ll have to face the outside world again. For now, they don’t think of what’s to come, though, too busy living in their homemade dreamscape.