#also i should not have to say this but to clarify i am not excusing incest. my point is that it would absolutely not stop lucy 🙏 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

zgvlt · 1 year

Text

the trials and tribulations of a third wheel silver x reader (+ platonic! sebek x reader)

summary: sebek, your best friend, finds out that you have a crush on silver; he also finds out that silver has some interest in you. he does not know what he's signed up for when he ends up helping the both of you out

author's note: [see end for full notes] this is like half friendship fic, half romance, but fully written to just be filled with good vibes :> (no unrequited feelings here so no need to worry about that if it bothers you)

tags: gender neutral reader, sfw, fluff, friendship and romance, friends to lovers, attempt at humor, multiple POV, 8.5k+ words, not beta read

you can also read this on AO3

I. YOU decide to spill a secret

You should have had the foresight to keep your hands slapped over Sebek’s mouth when you let him in on one of your secrets. Thankfully, it hadn’t been too late to do so and the boy was too surprised to even get mad about your insolence… or whatever fancy word he had in that big brain of his.

“Yeah, yeah, go get your screaming out right now,” you said in a placating manner, as if he was your kid or something, “I’ll let you talk in a bit when, you know, you won’t immediately spill my secrets to everyone outside of this room.”

“Excuse ME!” Sebek exclaimed—or, that was what it sounded like muffled—before getting tired of your behavior, pushing your hands away. To your credit, he could have totally pushed it off a minute ago, so he was at least indulging you… probably. “I’m FAR mature enough to not shout at you OR complain about your horrid taste in men—id est, Silver—to everyone else.”

“Horrid?!” you gasped despite not being surprised at all, “so we’re just gonna pretend you weren’t completely agreeing with everything I was saying about him?”

“That was because I THOUGHT you were talking about–” he stopped mid-hiss, lowering his volume before you could reprimand him yourself– “I thought you were talking about the Young Master! Or if not him, then Master Lilia.”

“I said princelike, not prince.”

“It’s not like he’s anything like the Young Master!... or even Leona Kingscholar, if we want to be generous with the descriptor.”

“And Lilia?”

“He’s majestic in his own right,” he claimed, which you supposed had some truth to it, though you personally saw the third year as someone more mischievous than majestic.

“Okay, fine, fine, my mistake for not clarifying immediately,” you said, not particularly sorry. General misunderstandings aside, there was something funny about watching your mint-haired friend do a spit take (fortunately with no actual drink to spit out). “So if I ended up being into one of them instead, what would you have said?”

Because honestly, you couldn’t quite tell if he would smite you on the spot—friend or otherwise—or if he would have congratulated you for your efficient, working eyes.

Sebek frowned.

“It would have been weird and I wouldn’t offer to help you,” he admitted, “but I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“And now that you know who I actually like?”

“Even weirder. It’s like… having my friend and a sibling date,” Sebek said, which was his way of telling you that you were giving him the icks, “there could be… there are worse choices, but because it’s you and it’s because it’s him… ugh.”

You wondered which one of you he saw as the sibling and which one was the friend. Knowing Sebek, he would loathe to admit either of you were either one unless he was feeling particularly vulnerable or in an insanely good mood.

After a moment of silence—Sevens, it was just like Sebek to take seriously things that weren’t that big of a deal—and a minute of staring you down he sighed, sinking into his seat as he slouched for once in his life.

“I don’t know what to do with this information,” he finally said, “am I supposed to give you approval before you start courting him? It would be better to ask his fa– Master Lilia, you know.”

“Why would I ask either one of you for approval? I just like him, I shouldn’t have to ask permission to like someone,” you huffed, “I just felt like telling you is all. Impulse decision.”

“So you don’t have any plans on telling him?”

“Not any time soon, which means you better not say a WORD about this to him either,” you said, only a semi-serious warning. You didn’t think he would, definitely not on purpose, but the idea of Silver having a clue made you nervous. “I know you’re loud as hell, but I trust you.”

Whatever retort or snippy remark Sebek planned to say had been bitten back; he had been unable to hide his smile at the compliment.

“Hmph! My lips are not as loose as you think! I can keep a secret just fine, thank you very much! He won’t even get an inkling of the fact that you carry feelings for him!”

“Alright,” you readily accepted his claim. Honestly, it felt nice to finally tell someone about this crush of yours, even though you wouldn’t have thought Sebek of all people would be the first to know.

“By the way… Not that I need your approval, but do you approve?”

The boy in front of you looks contemplative one second and constipated in another, as if he was holding back from saying something nice, too early in the day to be particularly honest.

“There are worse men to fall in love with than Silver,” he settled with.

“Oh, like who? Like yourself?”

A pillow hit you in the face but you could only laugh at how obvious the lack of strength he put into the throw was.

“Flattering yourself, typical of you. There are few people above you in league and I would be one of them,” he said and you’re unsure if he’s even aware of the praise he just provided. Backhanded, but praise is praise regardless. “Worse as in… my fellow first years.”

“Hah! Traitor behavior! It’s like you’re asking to get told on!” You hit him back with the same pillow, sticking your tongue out as he caught it with one hand.

“Then I’ll go tell Silver right now about this crush of yours!” And just by looking at his grin, you knew the ever serious Sebek had simply been joking.

He’d shield your secret as best as he could.

II. SEBEK answers a dumb question

In Sebek’s defense, he’s doing the best he can in, for a lack of a more eloquent way to phrase it, shutting the hell up about your crush on his rival. His rival of all people!

You should get your eyes checked, really, and if his father were an ophthalmologist instead of a dentist he would have taken you with him to Briar Valley already.

So no, maybe he wasn’t actively cheering you on, but you’re one of the few people he can actually rely on and call a friend, so he supposed he wasn’t going to judge you too harshly, even if he thought you could do better (not that there was much better in NRC anyway, so he guessed you already picked your cream of choice from the crop).

Silver would just have to pick up his slack.

Sure, you told him you needed no help whatsoever, he would at least do his part in making sure his rival would be good for you… or something. He’s not too sure what he’s supposed to even do, really, other than putting his 105% in training instead of the usual 100.

Sebek only has one prevalent issue, that being that he’s having a bit of a hard time not interrogating his sparring partner about you. It’s so DIFFICULT when your secret would loop in his head each greeting Silver gave him in the mornings or when they passed in the hallways.

Difficulty aside, he’s PROUD to say that he’s been very successful in not even uttering your name to the second year, so clearly his good restraint has kept him as trustworthy as usual.

Then a second problem rose out of nowhere, a wrench thrown in his well-kept secrecy.

He had not anticipated that Silver would be the one to bring you up himself. Even more surprising was the way he brought you up—well, it was odd for him to bring you up midst spar, but the way he worded it was the true unusual part.

“Repeat that.”

“Are the two of you in a relationship?”

Would Lord Malleus be angry if he whacked Silver with his own baton? Would you… oh, why was he even questioning it, of course you would, but you wouldn’t have the chance to be mad if he never told you, right? He could keep a second secret.

“Are you joking?!” he asked in spite of Silver’s usual expression. The boy never had a particularly obvious sense of humor.

“It’s a serious question,” Silver replied, narrowly dodging a jab from Sebek, “I’ve never seen you so close to somebody before.”

He scoffed. Was it that unbelievable?

“WELL–” he had meant to retort that he only spent a perfectly normal amount of time with you (had he been implying he was abandoning his duties?!), promptly followed by calling the notion disgusting (he couldn’t find it in himself to say such a thing), but he instead said–

“Why does it matter? I’m allowed to be around anyone I want for as long as they mean no harm to the Young Master!”

“I didn’t mean it like that, Sebek. You need to untense,” his rival sighed and the first year had half the mind to hit him in the face (and not with a pillow). HE was the exasperated one, so why was Silver doing the sighing?!

“I was just curious about your friend, that’s all.”

Sebek furrowed his brows.

“Why?”

While there were no right answers there were certainly a few wrong ones, so he listened carefully, clenching his fists. One demeaning word and he would—

“I was wondering if–”

III. SEBEK reports back to you

“–I hate him? Silver thinks I hate him?!”

“He was wondering, it wasn’t definitive!” Sebek corrected, catching the piece of popcorn you threw at him. He promptly ate it, never one to waste food. “Hey! I told him you didn’t, so it’s not a big deal anymore.”

“But for a time he thought I didn’t like him,” you argued, “that’s worse than him thinking we were dating!”

Sebek gasped.

“I resent that!”

“Please, I’m sure you beating him in yesterday’s spar was more than just your skill talking—you were probably appalled at the accusation,” you retorted, “and don’t think I forgot! I heard him talk about a bruise forming!”

“It’ll heal! And he could have dodged it if he was paying attention—he usually does!” he said, though now that you mentioned it, it was odd for Silver to not pay attention to training—usually Sebek was the conversationalist between the both of them. “It’s not like you can see it, so you don’t have to worry about me ruining his face or anything.”

“I’m sure he’s pretty even when injured,” you sniffled, and Sebek gagged. He’d have left you to your own devices already (he already sees Silver everyday, why should he listen to you rave about him?) if you hadn’t offered a nice variety of snacks for him to partake in while you talked.

“Okay, wait, back to the topic—why does he think I hate him?”

“He said that you act differently around him,” he said, placing the word in air quotation marks, “which is Silver speech for you being a weirdo. Did you do something?”

“Huh? Weird?! There’s no way I act weirder around him than I do around you!”

“THAT’S WHAT I WAS SAYING!” he agreed wholeheartedly. Well, he didn’t call you weird to Silver’s face—but that was the gist of what he was thinking, and there was no need to pretend to be polite about it to you.

Sure you were kind, that much he would admit, but a little… a lot. You were a lot, a lot of the time.

Still, even considering your lack of shame around him he doubted Silver would have seen or heard anything too odd from you.

“Although there’s always the chance that I’ve just become desensitized considering my unfortunate choices of company.”

“So, so rude,” you huffed, “I swear I’m normal around Silver. I don’t get many chances to talk to him in the first place.”

Sebek blinked.

“You don’t?”

“I mean, maybe a few times a week?” you replied, suddenly looking embarrassed at the estimate, “I don’t see him everyday, but even if I did I don’t think I could actually say anything more than hello.”

There was a saying, if you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t say it at all, but if he’d never abided by that saying, nobody would expect him to start following it any time soon.

“So you really had no plan to make him like you back, huh.”

“Is that your way of saying I have no game?”

“I wouldn’t word it that way, but you really don’t!” he ignored your look of offense (he’s not the best at reading faces, but he doubted you were actually offended) in favor of giving some actual advice. “Maybe he thinks you act differently around him because you won’t even talk to him!”

He was on to something, he was sure of it, and by the look you had on your face he was sure you agreed.

“You’re probably right… but I was totally going for that cool and cute and mysterious vibe, you know,” you grumbled, “people always notice those types. I mean, Silver is literally an example of it.

“I feel like if I actually talk to him about something other than school, he’s going to realize I’m lame.”

He rolled his eyes.

“You are, but that hasn’t stopped me from talking to you,” Sebek said with a shrug, like it wasn’t a big deal or anything, “so if I don’t care, obviously Silver isn’t going to.”

And then he gave you a pat on the head, because he’s not really sure of what else to do.

“Do you want me to do anything?” Sebek offered, “I won’t say anything to him, but if you want to know his favorite food, or birthday, or weekly class schedule–”

“I feel like you went from zero to one hundred real quick,” you said with a laugh, patting him on the back in return, “but I don't need you to do anything. Some things I should probably find out for myself.”

“If you say so.”

IV. SEBEK stresses out for you

While you were content to not do anything about your crush (said crush didn’t think you hated him anymore so you lost all sense of urgency), Silver himself seemed to want to do something.

And Sebek had to be on the receiving end again. Never again can you call him a bad friend.

“I’m not telling you anything,” he said with a sliver of annoyance, “there’s nothing you can’t figure out for yourself.”

“I tried, but a few minutes into the conversation… I was left behind.”

“Ah…”

YOU RAN AWAY FROM HIM?!

He cursed you in his head. What were you doing?! Did he not teach you ANYTHING? Well, okay, he technically didn’t because the thought of him giving advice on how to catch Silver’s attention… yeah. Still, you have to face your problems, run up at them! Why were you running away from them like a coward instead?!

“Try harder then,” Sebek said, because that was all he could really say without giving away too much… which, at this point, he was very tempted to do just so you and Silver could stop dragging him into things.

More Silver than you, really, considering you mostly enjoyed talking over acting… unlike Silver, who preferred acting over talking, and Sebek, who liked talking and acting.

“What are you trying to do anyway?” he asked inquisitively, subconsciously taking on the role of the investigators and detectives he’s read about in those mystery novels. Sebek did not want to be questioned about you, but he was very much interested in questioning Silver on the same topic. It was not hypocrisy, it was a matter of privilege.

Privilege equating to you being his friend, resulting in him knowing things about you that he wasn’t just going to easily shell out without proper reason.

“Since when were you so interested in my friend? This doesn’t feel like you just being curious anymore!”

He did not bother hiding his suspicion, his head conjuring up all sorts of theories on Silver’s sudden interest.

Sebek was neither purely optimistic nor purely pessimistic, neither was he a realist either (though he liked to think he was). Thus, his theories ranged from wait what if Silver thinking you hated him was a form of projection as he was the one who hated you to perhaps Silver overheard you talking about some way to stay awake and he wanted to talk to you about it to Silver is in love with you but he’s just as much of a coward when it comes to acting on it.

“It wouldn’t be good if anyone was uncomfortable with me,” the second year replied, “I want to do something to fix it.”

“Huh,” he said, more an expression of his disbelief than an actual question. Sure, Silver could be considered nice, but something about the explanation was off. He’s really not sure why, but he just knows it’s far more personal—that it had to do with that someone being you as opposed to you being just anyone.

“Well, FINE! I’ll give you my assistance just this once, so DON’T put it to waste, Silver!”

V. SILVER gets to talk to you, finally

“Since when were you so interested in my friend?”

Since Silver had seen you with Sebek, if he had to be honest. He hadn’t been sure if that was an acceptable thing to tell someone so he hadn’t admitted it to the younger boy, but that was the truth.

It wasn’t that he had only been aware of you then—he knew you existed, had seen you around more than a few times on campus—but noticing you was inevitable when you chose to stick to a presence as loud as Sebek Zigvolt.

As for why he had taken an interest in you… there were a few reasons.

The first would probably be curiosity—what kind of person could not only withstand the half-fae’s volume, but could also manage to pull him away from constantly following Malleus (without having to be dismissed in annoyance!)

The second was somewhat Sebek related, but also quite a general reason—it was your general disposition. There was just something heartwarming about the way you interacted with your friends (Sebek in particular—it was hard not to be in awe). Yes, he never made a habit of watching you, but seeing you from the corner of his eye, goofing around and spitting out jokes, never failed to liven up his mood.

The third was… something he couldn’t quite place about your attitude towards him.

At first he had assumed you hated him, but Sebek in all of his bluntness had expressed exasperation at the idea, so he supposed that wasn’t the case. Silver then figured he was the problem and, well… considering you seemed to have a hard time holding a conversation with him, perhaps that was the case.

It shouldn’t have mattered—people were entitled to dislike whoever they liked—but the idea of you specifically not liking his presence, especially when he enjoyed your presence on campus… It was quite the upsetting thought.

He wasn’t asking to be close to you, but it would have been nice to have a few conversations with you in between classes.

Whatever the problem was, Sebek said he would try to help decrease the awkward tension, but… was making himself your chaperone the ideal way to do such a thing?

“SEBEK…!”

Maybe not, considering you were (angrily? fiercely?) whispering a flurry of things to the mint-haired boy, who was (far more loudly) whispering back. Still, the context clues were not enough for him to figure out what the two of you were conversing about—other than that it was about him.

“Don’t you dare…”

“...push…helping…

“I don’t…I told you already…”

“...assuming…for you…Silver.”

In any other circumstance, he would have pointed out that it was rude of Sebek to be talking about him to someone while he was literally in front of him, but he figured that you would just use it as an excuse to, well, excuse yourself from the situation, so he kept his mouth shut.

At some point the both of you remembered that he was in earshot distance, the two of you owlishly looking at him.

Sebek nudges you, you nudge him right back, and not for the first time Silver wonders if he could ever achieve that level of comfort with you… which was an odd thing to think about, considering he should probably be aiming to at least complete a full conversation first and foremost.

“Hi Silver!” you greeted, as though you had just noticed him, as though he hadn’t been standing there for at least five minutes.

At least you’re not walking away from him this time around.

“So… what are… Do you need Sebek for something?”

Sebek rolled his eyes but didn’t say a word for once, clearly expecting you or Silver to do most of the talking. Considering his fellow guard was always the more talkative one of the two… that was asking for a lot more than Sebek might have realized.

Right… What now? If Sebek had informed him of this beforehand he might have thought of something to say

Silver looked down at his wrist before realizing he wasn’t wearing a watch, then looked at yours to see if you were—you hadn’t been. He then fished his phone out of his pocket, only to find out that he had forgotten to charge it last night (had he passed out before doing so?), so he turned to Sebek, who only looked mildly disappointed at the silence.

“What time is it?”

“Half past four.”

“Do either of you have any classes left today?”

“We’re both done,” you responded, “why?”

“Maybe we should all get something to eat or drink then,” Silver said, “there’s a lot of tea in Diasomnia, but Mostro should have coffee if you prefer that.”

He’s heard you laugh a dozen times before but you’ve never done it in front of him and sure, you try to stifle it within seconds, but the idea that something about him humored you had him smiling in return.

Even though he wasn’t quite sure what was funny.

“Coffee? You could have just said you wanted Sebek to go away—I’d understand, really.”

“For your information! I can drink coffee as long as there’s milk in it!”

“Yeah right. Coffee with milk? More like milk with coffee.”

The conversation had returned to mostly being led by you and Sebek once more, with Silver responding whenever he felt it suited. Still, all three of you were heading to the same place, so he supposed there was always later in the afternoon to get closer to you.

He feels Sebek pat him on the back during the few seconds you look away to greet someone in passing, and he says,

“You did okay, I guess… but don’t expect me to help you anymore after this.”

He thinks it might just be a compliment, or some form of approval.

VI. SEBEK gives decent advice

“You talked to him just fine yesterday! What do you mean you’re too shy to talk to him again?!”

Things had been going well, hadn’t it? He had watched you interact with Silver and you were actually forming words instead of foaming at the mouth over your crush. You were having a laugh with Silver and discussing your respective hobbies with him, even letting him have a taste of your order!

Sebek had been all proud of you too, even with the shared jokes about him (which were haha funny, he was so getting back at you later)! What happened?!

“That’s because you were there! I’m too nervous to go up to him on my own!”

“I can’t just be there to babysit you all the time, now can I?!”

He didn’t want to invalidate your feelings or anything of the sort—some conversations in the past with you have led him to realize that—but it was difficult for a partial-bystander, partial-participant like him to not feel frustrated at the situation.

You’re his friend, and Silver is… Silver is the only other person his age from his hometown, so while he understands that he doesn’t actually have to get involved, he also feels this need to make sure things go well for the both of you. Not necessarily romantically, but anywhere you (and he SUPPOSED Silver) would feel happy would be good in his books.

He gives the both of you a few minutes to just… sit, for him to think with his head and not the stress hormones in his body. The cortisol levels needed to die down just a bit else his blood pressure rise or his digestive system weakens.

“Sorry–”

“Stupid,” Sebek interrupted, “don’t say sorry about things you shouldn’t be sorry about. You said what you felt, I replied with what I thought about it, and that’s that. I’m not sorry that I’m kind of annoyed with you sometimes, but you’re not obligated to follow my recommendations either. Be annoyed with me back, if you want to!”

You blinked at him for a few moments, taking your sweet time in having the words sink in your skull, then laughed as you called him stupid back. You probably agreed, or so he would like to think.

“Even if I didn’t want to, you're always annoying, Sebek.”

He ignored your rudeness in favor of returning the conversation back to what it was initially, albeit with some more delicacy on his end.

“Why are you so nervous around him?” Sebek asked, realizing he had never seriously discussed it with you before. He’d poke fun at it, but never really stopped to question why you froze up so easily around your crush.

Maybe it was because he thought it was the natural thing to do around someone you liked, at least based on the stories he’s heard and read, but there had to be, if not a logical reason, a personal reason behind it.

“I get that you like him and all but he’s just… a regular human.”

“Easy for you to say! Not only have you known him since childhood, but you’re also not a regular human!” you interjected. Despite the jab you did seem to want to answer properly, so he let you collect your thoughts for a minute, figure out how to explain yourself.

“I don’t know. I guess I’ve always liked him from afar,” you admitted, “he was this… handsome and shining figure—quiet, but charming and diligent. He was just… so cool that I couldn’t help but admire him.”

Sebek would have pretended to gag at any other time, but upon listening to you he wondered what Silver would have felt had he heard the way you described him, how far it was from hatred.

“What do you think about him after talking to him yesterday?”

“He… he was so considerate even though I thought I was being a complete weirdo sometimes! So kind and helpful and occasionally funny. Was it possible for someone to be so…wow!” Despite the slew or praises leaving your lips, the irony of you sounding as if you were lamenting your feelings was not lost on him.

“I think I like him more than I thought. It’s making me more nervous, just thinking about interacting with him and messing up somehow.”

It was then that Sebek had come to a realization, an actual finding as opposed to another hypothesis—the way you saw Silver, the way Silver saw you, the obstacles in your path that blocked you from being comfortable with the guy you liked so much.

“Silver’s just a guy.”

“He’s–”

“No, listen to me,” Sebek interrupted. He’s always had a voice that demanded to be listened to, booming like thunder, but when his voice was steady and firm it was like he was asking, maybe even begging.

“I don’t mean it like it’s a bad thing. I’m just saying that no matter how perfect and amazing you think he is, he is just a normal guy,” he said, “so it’s okay if you mess up because he messes up too… a lot, actually.”

You wouldn’t say anything at first and he wondered if you perhaps didn’t believe him, or if he worded things a bit harshly. Should he try to lighten the mood? Should he double down and explain some more?

“I’m serious! I can list a whole bunch off the top of my head right this instant if you want!”

“No! No, not needed. I feel like I should hear that from Silver himself? Or Lilia? You spent your childhoods with him, right?”

Your laughter only stayed for a second or two, but the length didn’t matter much. As long as it was genuine.

“That… might actually be some really good advice,” you admitted; he was only able to detect a smidge of disbelief, “it’d be nice if you took… ah, nevermind.”

“You can say what you want to say.”

“I’ll save it for later,” you replied, shaking your head, “otherwise we’d be cooped up in my room until sunrise talking about all our issues.”

“You talk as if I haven’t been on the receiving end of that before.”

“Okay, point.”

A few minutes pass where neither of you do any talking and while it’s not uncomfortable Sebek does wonder if he should get up and leave, if you would prefer to be left to your own devices. Before he can do that, however, you ask one last question.

“Do you think I could ever be this comfortable with Silver? You know, where I can rant to him, or talk about any insecurities I have, or anything along those lines.”

He’s not really sure if the question was rhetorical, more you pondering and less expecting an answer out of him, but he replies with his thoughts anyway.

“Maybe start with your hobbies first, or his favorite food or something,” Sebek says, only half joking, “but if… once you get closer? I might have to start arguing with him about who knows you better!”

“Stupid…you already argue with him about everything anyway!”

VII. SILVER talks to you, the sequel

Sebek can’t chaperone you all the time. Friendship aside, he’s a busy first year with other people to follow around and other people to (excitedly) ask about their days, after all.

That’s what Sebek tells Silver, although the latter’s not sure why he’s suddenly become the replacement to keep you company, or why you need a replacement at all.

The answer is probably that you don’t. You’ve escorted yourself from class to your room just fine before Sebek became your friend and it’s not like you’ve forgotten how to do it on your own.

He’s well aware that Sebek’s trying to get him to do something and while he’s not sure what it could be, Silver had no plans to say no anyway.

He’s been wanting to talk to you again—reasons difficult to describe but could at least be summed up as simply wanting to be around you—so for as long as his presence isn’t needed elsewhere he’ll take the chance to do so.

(Something in his gut tells him neither his father nor Sebek will try to call his cell phone anytime soon.)

He made his way from his last class to yours… but not before drinking the leftovers of his afternoon coffee—just in case. He’s sure you know of his predicament and he has no doubts you’ll be nice about it, but it’d be upsetting if a conversation with you was cut short.

You smile upon meeting his eyes and he can’t help himself from smiling back. It wasn’t that he was trying to stop himself from doing so, but more so that it was less a conscious choice and more a natural reaction. You actually seemed happy to see him this time, and the thought of you being happy because of that made him… glad.

He’s not as verbose as… literally every fae (and half-fae, on that account) he knows, but the word seemed good enough to describe his present feelings.

“I feel like I should apologize on Sebek’s behalf,” you said, trailing after him as the both of you moved through the crowded hallways, “he’s… he means well, but he likes to meddle.”

He understands what you mean—Sebek at his very core is a well-meaning worrywart, but he doesn’t really get what that has to do with you. He simply assumed that this was Sebek going against his once-in-this-lifetime-assistance promise, but apparently you knew something about the first year’s motivations that he didn’t.

That or Sebek had ratted him out, which was just… awkward. Imagining himself explaining his thought process… He himself was having difficulties sorting it out, new reasons popping up one after another, so having to choose what reason to give you or worse, having to tell you everything…

No thank you.

“That’s just how he is,” he shrugged, “but I don't mind. I enjoy talking to you.”

“Sorry?!” you sputtered, as though unable to fathom the thought of it. Before he could repeat himself or ask why you seemed shocked, you followed up with, “I… not that I don’t feel the same, but why?”

“I’m not sure what you mean,” he asked, eyebrows furrowed, “does there have to be a reason?”

He does have his reasons, but all the same those reasons stemmed from him simply feeling that way, not exactly anything logical he could explain.

“I guess not, but we’ve only had a proper conversation… like, last time? All the other times I, uh, cut it off short,” you looked a bit sheepish at the admission. “Sorry about that by the way. I didn’t hate you or anything.”

Oh. Unless you were particularly good at reading his thoughts, Sebek did relay back to you about some things he asked about you.

While he’s not as competitive as the younger boy, he’ll try to get back at him next training.

“That’s good,” he said, a small sense of relief filling him. Not that he thought Sebek was lying, but it was still nice to hear it from you. “It would be bad if you did, since…”

He thought about your question again—what could he possibly say to get you to understand without being too upfront, or vague, or confusing?

“Since?”

“Talking to you is a good way to relax after class,” Silver said, admittedly just saying the first reason he could think of, which was what he thought to be a decently-worded depiction of the truth.

“Well, when you put it like that, I totally get what you–”

“Seeing you soothes me.”

Maybe Silver shouldn’t have said that last portion. However, what’s done is already done, and while you keep walking with him, you neither look at him nor speak to him. He wished he could understand what you were thinking, or that he could ask someone for advice at this moment without you knowing.

Realistically the silence lasts only for a minute or two, but by the time that you break it it feels like ten at the last, and it’s to the point that he inwardly sighs in relief that you don’t seem particularly upset or perturbed.

“I feel the same,” you replied, “similarly, I mean… maybe not the exact same, there’s probably some differences, but, you know.”

“Right,” he agreed, simply happy that his current feelings towards you were not seen as anything odd, that it was mutual.

“So… Do you have to go back to your room immediately?” Silver asked, “I was wondering if you wanted to grab something to drink or eat again today.”

VIII. SEBEK tries to give love advice

“Silver, why are you in my room?!”

That was the first question Sebek had asked Silver. The second was,

“Why are you asking me? Go ask Master Lilia!”

Normally Sebek would try to answer any question thrown at him, mostly because he found himself knowledgeable enough to at least be able to answer anything academic, but Silver’s questions were so far removed from the academic curriculum. It wasn’t even training or physical fitness related!

Books and (unsolicited) advice from his parents (and Silver’s father) aside, he’s NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP! NEVER BEEN, NO PLANS TO BE FOR A LONG TIME (note: while in Night Raven College), so just why did Silver think HE was the person to go for things like this!

He only put up with it because you’re a friend! What’s Silver’s excuse?

“But the two of you are best friends? So it would be better to ask you for advice, right?”

… Okay, maybe Silver had him there.

“Okay, FINE!” Sebek sighed, pulling out a chair—for himself, of course. The intruder could stand there all he wanted. “What’s the issue now?”

Seriously! It’s been, what, a month or two of the both of you talking normally (meaning without his help) and hanging out (again, finally without him trailing after to make sure neither one of you messed up somehow, or checking up on you every so often through text to make sure Silver hasn’t said anything to break your heart or whatever), but somehow neither one of you have made a move! What is going on?!

Again, he was too busy with academics and it’d be nice if everyone followed suit with that mentality, but if the feelings are already there? Might as well act on it! As long as Silver didn’t slack off in training, as long as you wouldn’t be too distracted with love to focus on your classes, wasn’t it alright?

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while, but I think I… no, I’m sure that I like…” Silver paused, as if rethinking his decision to tell Sebek after all. Honestly, Sebek already anticipated the question, so he really didn’t need to continue. Still, he admired his lack of cowardice and ability to actually speak your name.

“As you should,” he replied instantly, thanking the Great Seven that progress was finally being made! “I would be surprised if you didn’t.”

“Sebek, just to clarify, I don’t mean it in a purely platonic manner.”

If he was talking to you, he probably would find a more delicate, but still very much genuinely him way to word his upcoming statement. It’s Silver, though, so he speaks his truth unabashedly.

“Silver, I KNOW!” Sebek huffed, with neither the grace nor sensitivity he believed people typically wanted in situations like these. “Imagine! Someone tells you they think your friend’s laughter reminds them of the chirping of birds, that their smile is like the coming of springtime. Do you think me incapable of connecting the dots, Silver?”

Really, he was getting used to hearing the compliments from you, but hearing them from Silver made him want to grab one of the horses from the stable and simply get as far away as possible. It reminded him of his parents and their sickly sweet words to each other, except this was obviously worse because his parents were together, the both of you were not… yet!

“Hold on,” Silver said, and Sebek doesn’t get why he wouldn’t just spit it out already. Hold on to what? His patience? He was trying because you deserved a good confession straight from the source and not from a third party (otherwise known as him)!

“If you know, and you’ve known for a while now, then–”

“No, of course not! Do you think I possess the audacity to tell on you?” he huffed, honestly taking offense at the implication. Sure, he’s told on Silver here and there, and maybe a few other times once or twice because he deserved it, but CERTAINLY not with something as important as feelings!

“If anything, I’m upset that you’ve told me first! Should you not be acting on your feelings instead?”

“I came here to ask for advice, remember?”

Sebek frowned. Why do humans have to make things complicated?

“You don’t need advice! Just don’t break my friend’s heart and don’t confess half-heartedly! Is that not simple?”

Silver looked stunned by something for once, which honestly? Good! At least that meant the information was being absorbed into that brain of his.

“Huh. That might actually be decent advice, coming from you.”

Déjà vu aside, he huffed in reply.

“Don’t be surprised, of course I can give decent advice,” he said, “even if I don’t want to give any. So don’t ask me again.” Just please get together already so I can sleep peacefully at night without having to worry about this for once!

Silver only smiles and says thank you, as though he knew Sebek would not be able to stop himself from providing his assistance anyway if either you or him needed it.

IX. YOU and SILVER finally talk about that

Unbeknownst to each other, the both of you have thought about being the one to confess first. It’s partially motivated by Sebek, who genuinely seems to be positive that nothing will go wrong and that it is merely nervousness keeping the both of you from reaching some storybook happily ever after. Realistically the both of you know that reality can often be different from expectations, but his optimism is quite infectious.

The other motivator is simply the both of you not being able to help yourselves from spilling out phrases of praise for the other, not merely to Sebek but to your fellow peers as well.

And, well, the idea that even if the feelings were not returned, the receiving party would at least be gentle with the rejection.

Plans aside, neither of you actually thought today would be the day, but Sebek had excused himself early (something to do with his Young Master Malleus, who Silver knew wasn’t actually requesting for his presence at all) and it did not look like he was coming back anytime soon.

“He’s been doing that lately,” you said, as used to it as Silver is, “leaving the both of us together.”

“So you’ve noticed it as well,” he replied, though it would be surprising if you hadn’t, “that time at the library–”

“And that time in the greenhouse–”

“When we left campus as well to roam around town, then he simply left us to join some of the other first years.”

There were so many chances even when your mutual friend wasn’t making them out of his own volition, but none of those times seemed particularly right to say anything, moreso just a chance to spend more time with each other, a chance both of you were eager to take.

Something about this afternoon—or evening, or the time in between the both of them—was different from all the afternoons you’ve spent together, though.

Maybe it was because of the sky—the explosion of pinks and purples and blues as the dusk began to settle, a sky that reminded you of Silver’s eyes, not necessarily in hue but in its salience, a call to attention.

Maybe it was because it was a quiet, peaceful time—a fair weather that Silver found himself prone to falling asleep to, and yet he felt no sense of drowsiness or tiredness whatsoever, merely contentment to be seated next to you.

“You know, I asked Sebek once, a few months ago, if he thought I could ever become close to you,” you admitted, with just enough courage to stare him straight in the face. “I know I already said sorry, but sorry about all those times I ran away from you. You made me nervous sometimes.”

“I asked him about something similar before, too.” Sort of, although he was far more straightforward when it came to questioning him about you. He can admit now that he’s glad that the boy kept his lips sealed quite tightly, a certain delight in learning things about you through you yourself.

“Is there a reason to be nervous around me, though? I’m having a tough time envisioning anything I’ve done to warrant that…”

You laughed, a tinge of embarrassment slipping out—perhaps directed at your past, perhaps because of the present, or how your next choice of words could affect the future.

“Because I liked you.”

It’s silent for a few moments, the loudest sounds being that of the rustling leaves and the critters of a nearby forest, but strangely enough it’s not as scary as you thought it would be. At the very least, that’s what you will keep telling yourself—your affections are a secret begging to be spilled.

“Even though I never talked to you that much, I just enjoyed seeing you go about your day out of the corner of my eye. I like the way you carry yourself—you’re so cool and laidback and devoted that I thought I would embarrass myself if I even spoke a word to you,” you said, shaking your head at the memories, “I used to think you were so perfect compared to me.”

“I’m not–”

“I realized that eventually,” you intercepted. As brave as you found yourself at this moment, you were scared that if you were not to say your peace immediately, the conversation could be derailed, or that you would lose the courage to confess completely. “I’m glad I did. I don’t think I would have gotten to spend time with you like this otherwise.”

“Then… I’m glad you did, too,” Silver said in agreement, “because I was in a similar situation.”

“You were?!”

“Somewhat. It’s more in the sense that… Do you remember when I told you I thought your presence was soothing?” He waited for a second, continuing when you nodded your head. “That wasn’t a lie, but it was also a bit of an understatement.

“For the longest time I’ve always enjoyed your presence, and it came to a point where I wanted to be around you more often and to get to know you instead of just being at the same time and place as you,” Silver said, “I think we just had different approaches to our feelings.”

“That sounds about right,” you replied, finding some humor in the situation, “I guess it’s a good thing that we found our way to becoming friends somehow.”

“It was.”

Neither you nor Silver follow up on that right away. It’s not that it’s not possible to say what either one of you have been leading up to anymore, but more so figuring out how to lead up to it. Was there a particular way the other wanted to hear it, and how could they combine that with their own words and feelings?

“You said you liked me,” Silver said, giving pause as if to allow you some time to correct him, or to clarify that you meant one way and not the other.

The idea of you liking him had never occurred to him.

Well, no, that wouldn’t be right—he’s thought of it before, but it was always attached with the plan of him having to take you out on a date or two first, or at the very least asking to be given a chance to win you over.

Still, he can’t find it in himself to mourn that he had not realized sooner. There was always a proper timing to these things, and if now was the perfect moment to strike, to act on it, then so be it.

“Do you still like me?”

“...That’s not a very fair question,” you said. It’s a half-hearted complaint at best, more of a request on your behalf than anything, but Silver heeded it regardless.

“Sorry, you’re right,” he replied, “then let me be the one to tell you first.”

Silver takes a deep breath, shakes off any nerves that could still be on him, and, for as much as you would allow, looks you straight in the eye as he conveys his confession.

“I like you. I’ve liked you for a while now, I hope it’s okay with you that I feel this way,” he says. He’s as serious as ever, but he says it in such a gentle, tender manner that the already tranquil mood lightens even further.

Subconsciously, the both of you realize it then—if there were any odds against him, against you, none of them existed now. There could only be a happy ending written for the both of you.

“Being around you calms me, and yet I find myself staying awake for as long as possible just so I can listen to you. Even when I end up falling asleep I know I can trust you to wake me up, and when I do wake up, I find myself more rejuvenated than usual because your face is the first thing I see.

“I thank you for always gracing me with your presence, but all the same I want something more with you,” Silver trails off after, letting out a small huff of laughter as a sheepish grin settles on his face. “Is that too forward? I’ve been told that I could be quite…”

“Not at all.”

The tips of your fingers tap against his knuckles before enveloping his clenched fist with your hand. Any vulnerabilities, words and feelings never spoken until today, will be held carefully by you—and when he relaxes his body, his palm glides against yours, and he promises that he will carry your affections just as gently as you do his own.

X. SEBEK receives his well-deserved peace, somewhat (OUTTAKE)

Sebek was well-aware of his role in your relationship, so he was not the least bit surprised that you and Silver would (separately, and then once more together) not only make sure he was the first to find out, but to thank him for his services as well.

He alternated between rolling his eyes and pretending his help was no big deal and demanding that he be recognized for his efforts, all before eventually not being able to help himself from bursting into a grin and congratulating the both of you.

Mostly you, but he wasn’t sure he was able to hide his approval properly from Silver.

Sebek was genuinely happy for the both of you, of course, but he would not deny that a part of his delight stemmed from no longer having to be on the receiving end of whatever will-they-won’t-they trope the both of you were applying. Even when he wasn’t losing his mind listening to the both of you, he was losing it by watching the both of you interact (at a distance. What was he, a stalker? He had more important things to do than pay attention to a budding romance!)

For the most part, peace was achieved. You still invited him out frequently, sometimes with Silver and sometimes without, and nothing really changed between him and Silver either other than having another mutual person to protect.

What Sebek did not anticipate was to be on the receiving end of questions from the two he respected the most—one who was upset to be told of the recent developments later than he would have wanted, and another who was ready to pry any details his foster son neglected to tell him.

This was Silver’s fault, so why was he on the receiving end of the complaints all of a sudden?! Was this what he got for keeping his mouth shut?!

“Silver…!”

His rival better prepare—even if he was your significant other, he won’t be exempt from his wrath tomorrow morning.

end notes | masterlist of all my works

[1] The initial idea for the fic was pure humor and fluff with a bunch of clichés and Silver being jealous of protective BFF Sebek and reader. I kept the Sebek BFF dynamic because I love him, though his protectiveness is actually toned down to something more "I have my eye on you but you're free to get to know my friend just treat them well" than pure "Silver you are on my DNI list".

[2] I also mostly discarded the jealous Silver idea. Silver is less "I'm jealous that Sebek is your s/o even though he actually isn't" (made sure to have Sebek clarify it right away) and more "I'm jealous that he was able to form this genuine connection with you, and that other people can be in your presence. I want to be one of the people in your circle too." I don't mind the first type of jealousy, I think it's cute when played for laughs + good drama if executed well, but it's not what I was going for.

[3] I also tried to get the idea across immediately that Sebek does not have romantic feelings for the reader. I didn't want to use that trope. I don't want him to be sad. In the platonic sense, he loves reader and Silver (would rather die than admit it), so he's in this spot where he thinks it's "ew gross" but also "you're both good people so you should both be happy and i want to be supportive but why are both of you taking so long why are u stupid oh seven let this go well i will scream if this doesn't"

[4] Chemistry is one of the subjects I was weaker in back in high school so excuse my bare minimum research but Sebek feels like the type to go "MY CORTISOL CIRCULATION IS IN HIGH LEVELS RIGHT NOW DO NOT APPROACH OR I WILL YELL AT YOU" instead of "wow im fucking stressed!" like any other normie would lol

[5] Another thing I was a bit delicate with is Sebek's pushing, and that while he has his frustrations he doesn't completely diminish reader's insecurities or difficulty in talking with Silver specifically. I imagine that it happened in the past, but he's probably working to be more understanding of others, reader in particular bc friendship and favoritism lol.

[6] I was really stuck on what I think Silver would appreciate the most in a person and how he would fall in love with them. Of course all dynamics are fun and I want to use different personalities and types of readers in the future, but for this one I decided to have reader remind Silver of the pleasant and peaceful things in life. I liked the idea that they've both admired each other from a far, like a "this person really heals me…" but while Silver wants to get closer and tries to act on it, Reader instinctively wants to run away bc they like him so much. The pure romance trope, basically.

[7] I decided to not explore the whole "falling in love" process, like dates and stuff, mostly to allow the reader some flexibility in imagining what activities or conversations or whatnot Silver and reader have had. Compared to my other fics, that's not really the purpose of this one.

#twst silver x reader #twst x reader #silver x reader #twisted wonderland x reader #twst #twisted wonderland #twst imagines #twst silver #nathya twst writing #twst x you

929 notes · View notes

ganondoodle · 10 months

Note

genuine genuine genuine question- wwwhy do you not like the zonai? (zonau? not sure if thats like. the worlds coolest plural or a translation difference) given your content with more monstery designs i would have thought they'd be up your alley!! however. i have also not played skyward sword (as much as id like to) and i know most of peoples upset with their existence and the totk storyline is because of its conflicts with that plot? i'm very excited to see what you do with your rewrite/botw2!! given their slight presence in faron in botw, it would be cool to see you repurpose the zonai in some way that doesn't conflict with the plot you're going for, something that makes more sense with the cryptic kinda bare minimum we had in botw? sorry if you've explained your stance on the zonai before <3

hhhhhhhh i had ranted alot about it but i hope you are prepared- (also "zonai" is sonau in german but im choosing to write it with a z so people recognize it at least, im pretty sure zonau is also the orignal japanese word for them)

i am fine with their design, in fact, i LIKE their character designs, however i dont like everything else about them.

and no its also not bc it affects skyward sword bc it doesnt affect ANYTHING in skyward sword, bc skyward sword is the VERY FIRST zelda game in the timeline and totk is nowhere near it, totk draws several paralels towards skysw bc its meant a sort of soft reset for this new era but its really just thematic overlap and references bc those are cool (i know alot of people are trying to convince the entire fandom that totk somehow is crammed into the old timeline but trust me its never anywhere near confirmed nor does it make any sense, heres the lil graphic i made last month to clarify how i think its meant to be understood .. quite obviously even -

i dont mean to sound .. mean, but some people read too much into little phrases or references to older titles (like first king of hyrule .. doesnt have to mean the literal firstest of the first ones in all of forgotten history ever, just the first of THIS hyrule for example), and while im not against theories i am very annoyed when people try to say its somehow canon when its NOT)

with that out of the way;

i dont like how they are 'integrated' into botws world, they feel unnatural and shoved in everywhere, they have been everywhere and did everythign better and cooler and no part of (this) hyrule was untouched by them their architecture feels not integrated well either and design wise its rather bland, while the sheikah shrines for example while obviously not natural and very 'techy' they still build a harmonizing contrast while the totk shrines are pretty laughably unfitting compared to them the basically complete disappearance of all sheikah tech related stuff bothers me immensely bc why would you just get rid of it istead of developing it further (i know about purahs towers and think they are just like a worse version of the previous ones; and before this argument comes up again, them destryoing it all -somehow- bc they were afraid of it being taken over again is a dumb excuse bc then they should be even more scared of zonau tech- even MORE unknown and advanced tech literally falling from the sky) you could have done SO MUCH with the ancient shiekah tech it drives me nuts

i also think it tipped the delicate balance of the kinda medival setting + high tech that botw had set up compeltely over, the zonau tech just .. is so painfully obviously only the way it is to give you little lego parts to glue together (i know its a focus of the game ... or at least the gamePLAY but it could have been done better, again i think they managed the balance perfectly with shiekah tech, its weird and isnt natural but doesnt endanger the believability of it ... the zonau tech just throws that out the window rly ... how cool would it have been if you could built lil guardian walk thingies djknhfkd )

in general they just feel like a complete replacement for the ancient shiekah and are so SO desperately trying to make the zonau the COOLER and BETTER versions of what the shiekah were (you COULD have connected them in a cool way, like there being ancient shiekah labs build in the old zonau mining facilities bc they used zonau tech as basis for their own tech etc)

like instead of building on the set up and potential botw had prepared, they just scrambled to make a 'better' version of botw, like oh no forget THAT ancient civilization we have an EVEN MORE ancient, and EVEN MORE highly developed peoples there that were also everywhere before you but also were never really hinted at- and then repeat botws structure .__.

having an old and forgotten civilization of whom only some withered ruins remain gave botw a much more real feeling, a world with a history that you will never know (you know, bc that makes it intriguing and is just .. a good choice of worldbuilding imo)- and then totk comes along and reveals everything and also nothing, we know too much of them to be intrigued by their mystery and also not enough to actually care about them (also them beign presented as the good perfectly perfectestest kingdom of light that can do no wrong other than underestimate the eeeevil guy while they also had their hands on every part of the land and made all other races be their face and nameless servants just ... thats weird man!! i know its a game, even if its only aimed at kids my god they arent stupid either!! you really present me with that and expect me to take it at face value what argh)

again i think they COULD have been integrated into it, but the way it was done completely threw me off, im not mad about them EXISTING but about how it was DONE in the game

the way they were done robs not just totk but also botw of mystery and intrigue, for example i much rather had them stay a mystery, only ever talked about in some text and some old and almost completely withered ruins left, you never get so see what happened there in the past, you can only guess, but you have to deal with the fallout anyway and thats just ONE possibility, there are so many and it feels like they chose the most boring one every single time

sometimes knowing less is better than knowing half

(maybe i can make it clearer when .. or if i can get to illustrate what could have worked -in my opinion- better .... sorry for ranting again ;__; )

#ganondoodles answers #ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rants #i WANT to like this game so damn much #but cant with the way it was done #and i didnt have big expectations either #sorry if i sound agressive #the way i type just reads to others like that somehow #im desperately yelling in my cage with tears in my eyes thinking about the potential it all had

137 notes · View notes

dawndelion-winery · 2 years

Text

You Too? I Hope

Them as things my crushes have done

Ft. Arlecchino, Capitano, Childe, Dottore, Pantalone

Arlecchino:

She remembers all your food preferences and diet restrictions you mention, even the ones in passing

Hanging out with friends? Hold on a moment, didn't you say you can't eat that ingredient?

Yeah, she's stopping you

She'll get you something else that's just as nice, so don't worry about missing out

"I promise you, it's not even that good, and definitely not amazing enough to sacrifice your health over."

She won't eat it either, to make sure you don't feel left out, so she'll have whatever you're having

Capitano:

He carries you around if you're injured

No, you're not too heavy, certainly not for him

He can't have you making your sprained ankle worse, now can he?

When you finally relent, he leans his face closer to yours as though expecting a kiss before remembering you aren't dating yet and quickly pulling away again

"Ahaha, whoops. My bad, that one, err, if you could forget I did that, it'd be great."

He's clearly flustered and trying to distance himself before remembering he's carrying you

You offer to walk yourself but no, he insists

"We're going to the same places anyway, it's no trouble for me."

Did I mention he's also carrying your stuff?

Childe:

Follows you around like he's lost to have an excuse to talk to you and walk you places

He tells you about his ideal type while looking you in the eye with some sort of expectancy like he's waiting for you to realise something

Maybe if you'd paid more attention you'd notice how he only ever describes the physical features while looking at you

Hands that interlock with his perfectly? His hand is slipped in yours

"Yeah, and of course they'd have to have pretty eyes that look like they hold my future for me to jump right in with them."

Dottore:

Sends you pictures of his solo trip overseas to flex on you how he can travel alone

And takes pictures of plushies at the gift store telling you how stupid they look, knowing you like them

Asks you which one he should take as a souvenir since he's not that into plushies but wants to get something

Then when he returns he chucks the plushie you chose at the back of your head before you realise he's there, acting as though he had no part to play in the plushie currently in your lap

"Thanks for the plushie~"

"What plushie? I've never seen this ugly thing in my life. It's yours."

"Oh, sure then."

"Do you like it though..?"

You told him there was another one you preferred, and that you thought that one suited him more

To which he still insisted you keep it so you'd think of him whenever you saw it

Pantalone:

Nothing short of sweet to you, it was no wonder you fell for him

And it was pretty obvious to everyone just how close you were, leading to his subordinates mistakenly assuming you were together

A rumour he never bothered to clarify

He even played into them sometimes, thinking it was amusing to watch the people around lose their shit when he slips his hand in yours instead of denying their suspicions

Sometimes even you weren't sure just what he was trying to pull

You'd brush it off as am act to mess with people if not for the fact that he behaved the same when it was just the two of you

"Special treatment? You're not wrong, I do treat you differently, but shouldn't it be expected when you're that much dearer to me than everyone else?"

Taglist[send an ask to be added/removed]: @myluvkeiji @pluvioseprince @aqui-soba @favonius-captain @tiredsleep @raincxtter @loverofthe-stars @gensimping-for-all @irethepotato @almond-adeptus @mx-kamisato @yuzuricebun @chaosinanutshell @heizours @codename-hiraeth @andreiling01 @callmemeelah @sadlonelybagel @plinkuro @thevictoriousmoon @mastering-procrastinating

929 notes · View notes

max1461 · 8 months

Text

I was asked by @cardassian-artistry:

I don't want to argue or anything, I'm just curious. What are your critiques of Marxist economics?

Ok, so, I want to clarify that I am neither an economist nor a Marx scholar. I am an informed lay person, who has also had the opportunity to spend a lot of time talking to my close friend who is an economist (well, sort of; his work is at the intersection of econ and CS). He's also very left-wing, and we've both read the relevant portions of Marx and have discussed Marx's place in the history of economics quite a lot, so I have, I think, more informed opinions on this particular topic than most people.

Right, ok, so there are a few things to note about Marx's economic theories. The first is that he does not really propose any sort of economic model in the modern sense. Ideally, an economic model should be predictive (probably a lot of Marxists will already disagree at this point, but I think it's not worth arguing with them because I doubt I will convince anyone). That is to say, an economic model should look at measurable quantities about some part of the economy, and relate these quantities to other measurable quantities, so that we can make predictions about how the economy will behave under different conditions.

Many modern day, orthodox economic theories do not meet these criteria. Those theories are also bad. Or, more accurately: they aren't even theories at all, they're just like, vague ideas. We should have higher standards than that for our economic models.

Anyway, predictivity: Marx mostly doesn't attempt to achieve this. He sort of gestures at a specific, predictive model when he talks about "congealed labor time" (I'll get to this) and so on, but he doesn't make it mathematically or measurementally precise enough to actually use it for anything, or to test if it's true. So there's a sense in which, by the epistemic standards I hold at least, Marx's theory of the economy is not actually saying very much to begin with.

Marx does, however, make some qualitative but testable claims. These are mostly sort of divorced from his economic theories as such, it seems to me, but they are claims pertaining to the economy, so they're worth evaluating. Most prominently, he claims that capitalism is bound to undo itself and give way to communism, via proletarian revolution. He very much thought this was going to happen in his lifetime or in the period immediately after. This did not pan out. You can make excuses for why this hasn't happened yet, as the early Christians did when the rapture didn't come, but I don't think any of these excuses are very convincing. He claimed this and he was wrong. As others have pointed out, at least Marx made a claim which could be proved wrong, which is braver than many thinkers—and probably cannot be said of many of his contemporaries in classic economics.

The second big point about Marx's understanding of the economy is that it comes largely from Adam Smith, whose work he studied intensely. Marx's early work is less concerned with the technical details of the economy, and was of course influenced above all else by Hegel. But Marx's later, more economic work draws very heavily from Smith.

Adam Smith's work has all the same problems. Economists like Smith, Marx, and Ricardo set the groundwork for what would come later, but their understanding of how economies actually behave was both far too simplified and far too mathematically unsophisticated to be useful as such.

And, right, this brings us to the labor theory of value, which Marx also gets from Smith. Well, modern economic theories tend not to use a "theory of value" at all, because… what does that even mean? How do you measure "value"?

Is "value" price? That's something you can measure! But Marx seems to say "no", value is not just price. And if value was price, then Marx's theory of value would be straightforwardly false. Marx claims that the value of a good is proportional to the average labor time it takes to produce that good in the given society in which the good is being produced. Well, this is not true of price (in Marxian terms, "exchange value"). So Marx's "value" cannot be price, if his theory is to hold water.

What is it then? Well, Marx and Smith don't really say. And they definitely don't say how to measure it. So their claims about value and labor time and so on don't amount to much, they don't really amount to testable claims about the real world. They amount to claims about this ill-defined idea of "value" that has relevance only internally within the system of Marxian thought. As such, many of Marx's economic claims don't actually say anything about the economy to begin with.

The upshot is that a lot of Marx's specific claims about the economy are either untestable or simply wrong, which is pretty damning. His theories are far too simplistic to model the economy accurately, and his dialectical method—far from remedying this simplicity—simply introduces more vagueness into his claims.

Marx did not know calculus. With a few lucky exceptions, it is generally difficult-to-impossible to model any real world process of significant complexity with any precision without calculus. Basically every modern day economic model makes use of differential equations. Marx, Smith, and Ricardo did not. A priori, therefore, it would be very surprising if their ideas turned out to be correct. And they don't.

So, I've been pretty hard on Marx. Is there any value to Marx's thought?

Well, I think, yes. Quite a lot, in fact.

Marx's work is sometimes split into an "early Marx", for example as represented in the 1844 Manuscripts, and a "mature Marx", as represented in Capital. People debate the degree to which there is continuity between these two periods, or whether the periodization really makes sense at all. But it's undeniable that Marx's thinking evolved significantly over the years. In particular, Marx's early work is much more concerned with the humanistic effects of living under capitalism. This is where Marx's theory of alienation comes from. He is concerned, everywhere but especially in this early writing, with how it feels to be an industrial worker in a capitalist society. And I think his analysis here is absolutely spot on. It has, in fact, been pretty influential on my own thoughts about markets and private property.

Marx also advanced a materialist conception of history, and of society generally. I think Marx's materialism was too teleological, and too wrapped up in nineteenth century ideas of Progress, but I still think that to a first order approximation his assertion that history is driven by the factors of production was basically correct, and was not remotely obvious at the time. For this I think he should be celebrated.

I think Marx was, in a certain sense, a victim of his time. Almost all the critiques that can be made of his economic theorizing per se are found in the writing of all the classical economists. And it is in this domain where I think he makes the most demonstrable errors. That is to say: most of what is bad in Marx is not that new, and (I think) most of what is new in Marx is quite good.

There's another reason to take Marxism seriously, too. I think that a really significant amount of good thinking about history, society, and the nature of wealth and power has been presented under a "Marxist" heading, or assumes fluency with Marxist ideas. From Marxist humanists like E.P. Thomson to the revolutionary leaders of Third-Worldism. Not that any of these people are above critique, to be sure. But anyway, in this regard I think Marx's thought is a lot like Bertrand Russell's work on logic (I love the Marx/Russell comparison, because they both would have hated it): less important for its actual content than for the work of the people it inspired, and for the century+ of ideas they produced.

#society #navel gazing

77 notes · View notes

gamergirlbonestaskforce141riot · 8 months

Text

Paulatim sed Firmiter (Slowly but Surely) - Sunday evening

Only one scene to go and (multi) chapter 11 is wrapped

Unless I get murdered for this one lol

Warnings: None, just domestic fluff

Taglist: @glitterypirateduck @letsreadallday @jamesrifftapes @rileyslibrarian

Previous / Masterlist / Next

Sunday evening

Captain Price and Dr. Green’s house

John’s proud beaming face was proof enough to his wife that she had been right about persuading him to invite the ‘kids’ to dinner. Also, the bigger dinner table had been a success, allowing them all to be comfortably seated, and the numerous dishes to be displayed on it.

Heather had roasted a couple of big chickens, made vegetable sides, mashed potatoes, gravy, Yorkshire puddings… and had thought it wouldn’t be enough, given the unholy appetite of the four men present. Johnny had an endless pit in the place where his stomach should be, Kyle was no better, her husband was another bottomless hole when it came to food, and even Simon, given the opportunity, ate like there was no tomorrow.

Thankfully, Kyle brought apple crumble and ice-cream for the dessert, Gabi brought tasty, delicious rice with beans as per her home country recipe, and Christine not only brought a Spanish charcuterie board, but also made a lasagna. Johnny and Simon appeared with several wine bottles, which were as welcomed as the food brought by the others.

And given the rate at which they were eating, there would be no leftovers.

‘‘I can’t believe you’d date a helicopter pilot after almost falling out of one’’ Johnny laughed at Kyle, who didn’t look offended in the slightest as he kept stuffing his mouth full of food with a wide smile.

‘‘Diego is not Nikolai. He doesn’t fly like a madman at least’’

‘‘Who’s Nikolai?’’ Christine and Gabi asked almost at the same time, with genuine curiosity, and John started an intrincate explanation about who the Russian fixer was, that they went way back and even Heather knew him, and told a flowery tale about the time when Gaz almost fell off the helicopter during Kate Laswell’s rescue…

‘‘Wait, wait, wait’’ Christine interrupted, her blue eyes wide and a surprised look on her face. ‘‘What do you mean, ‘rescue’? When did that happen?’’

‘‘November last year’’ Kyle clarified, stealing the last Yorkshire pudding from Johnny’s plate before he noticed.

‘‘Ye bloody asshole…!’’ Johnny complained, trying to steal it back, but Kyle had already taken a bit out of it. ‘‘Ah’ll get back at ye for that!’’

‘‘Johnny, language!’’ Gabi laughed, slapping lightly his arm.

The food by then was mostly gone. After hosting the boys several times, Heather had learned soon that instead of serving entrées, mains and dessert, it was better to just place everything on the table and sit back to enjoy the spectacle. Some were still stuffing themselves with the remains of the chickens, while others were already enjoying the dessert.

Everyone looked full and content, which made her heart happy, and she smiled at her husband. John smiled back at her, and his hand found hers under the table, brushing his calloused thumb on her palm.

‘‘You look happy, sweetheart’’

‘‘I am’’ Heather whispered back, still smiling. ‘‘I like having them here. Can we do this more often?’’

‘‘Not weekly’’ John rushed to say, and she laughed.

‘‘No, no… but a couple times a month at least’’

John grunted non-committally, squeezing her hand before releasing it when he saw Christine standing up.

‘‘If you excuse me just for a minute, I have to make a call’’

‘‘But what about the rest of your ice-cream!’’ Johnny followed her with his eyes, but she ignored him, already scrolling in her mobile phone while she stepped outside, followed by Simon’s gaze.

‘‘Well, thank God’’ John sighed, side-eyeing Kyle and Johnny when they stole Christine’s remaining ice-cream. ‘‘I hope that means Kate will stop asking me to make her take her calls’’

‘‘She’s stubborn’’ Heather smiled, patting her husband’s knee, and he looked at her, amused.

‘‘Which one of them?’’

Heather laughed, and turned her head to look at Simon, who was just listening to the banter around him, as always. He had finished eating a while ago, but had not pulled down his balaclava yet. Wether that was because he forgot, or because he was comfortable in the current company, Heather didn’t know, but she relished in the opportunity to see as little as she could of her friend, scars that made her heart ache and all.

He noticed she was looking at him and his eyes turned to her, in a silent question, and Heather just shrugged and smiled.

‘‘I’m happy to have all of you here’’

Simon simply nodded, his arms crossed over the table and his eyes returned to the arch that led to the hallway, where Christine had disappeared. Heather smiled again and tried to exchange a knowing look with her husband, but John was emptying his glass of red wine.

Christine stopped in the hall, still able to listen to the sounds coming from the dining room next to the kitchen, but far enough to not disturb them with her conversation, already dialing the number.

‘‘Took you long enough’’ Kate Laswell’s voice was a bit dry when she answered after making her wait for almost twenty seconds, but Christine went for the throat.

‘‘What the fuck is this shit about you needing rescue back in November?’’

‘‘Oh’’

‘‘Oh? What the fuck, ‘oh’? Start explaining why and how you were kidnapped and I didn’t know a thing about it’’

‘‘You were… unwell back in November, honey’’ Kate’s voice was gentler now, and Christine gritted her teeth.

‘‘I could walk’’

‘‘Barely’’

‘‘That’s low’’ Christine snarled, looking in the direction of the dining room when she could hear louder laughter, from Kyle, Johnny and Gabi. ‘‘You can’t expect me to…’’

‘‘I can. You were hanging on to your sanity by a thread back then’’ Kate sighed lightly before continuing, soothingly. ‘‘I didn’t have time for anything, Christine, much less for calling for help. I barely had time to radio John and Gaz.’’

‘‘You’re fucking lucky’’

‘‘I know’’

‘‘I would have gone’’

‘‘I know… My wife says thanks for the almond cake recipe, by the way’’

Christine grunted something under her breath, relieved to hear Kate’s low laugh and deciding to ignore her obvious attempt at changing the subject.

‘‘It was nothing’’

‘‘Can we talk when I’m back? I prefer talking to you face to face’’

‘‘… sure. When are you coming back?’’

‘‘Soon. Gotta go, my wife is threatening me with a wooden spoon through the window, I’m not supposed to answer calls on my work phone when I’m off’’

‘‘Serves you right’’ Christine mumbled again, and Kate laughed. ‘‘See you soon’’

‘‘See you soon’’

She sighed and returned her phone to her pocket, and turned around to go back to the dining room. But she found herself face to chest with Simon, who was standing a couple of steps away from her, in silence.

‘‘Joder! (Fuck!)’’ Christine gasped, but then she smiled and laughed, visibly relieved. ‘‘Sorry, did I take too long?’’

‘‘No’’ Simon shook his head, hands inside the pockets of his hoodie as usual, but his balaclava was still hooked over his nose. ‘‘Gabi is recruiting Johnny and Kyle into helping do the dishes’’

‘‘Oh yeah, her and I talked about it before coming’’ She nodded, taking a peek at the dining room arch door, and then at him again when he didn’t move an inch. His eyes were focused on her hair. ‘‘What?’’

‘‘I’ve never seen you with your hair down’’ He murmured, and she couldn’t help but blush, thankful for the dimness of the hallway. It was true that she had decided to wear her hair down for once, instead of in her usual ponytail, braid or bun. And sitting next to him at the dining table, she had noticed him looking at her quite often during dinner.

‘‘Oh, and what’s the veredict?’’ Christine giggled softly, trying to make a joke, but her smile faltered when he leaned in slightly, bringing his face closer to her hair. She even stood on her tiptoes discreetely, feeling stupid, but strangely excited.

Simon was feeling conflicted, once that he initiated the movement before he was even aware of what he was doing. Now, with his nose mere inches away from the crown of her head, so close that he could smell her shampoo – something with flowers, he guessed – he fought himself to keep his hands inside his pockets. They were in Price’s hallway after all.

Being away for almost a week had been torture, and now, having her this close…

‘‘I like it’’ He rumbled, his subconscious feeling her shudder with the sound of his voice. ‘‘I like your hair’’

‘‘Now you’ll say it makes me beautiful to wear it down…’’ Christine teased, trying desperately to hide the way her body was trembling, specially when he finally buried his nose in her hair.

‘‘You’re always beautiful’’

A loud crash sounded in the kitchen, and then a chorus of laughter. They stayed like that for a couple of seconds more, without moving, and finally, she stepped back, he pulled down his balaclava, and side by side went to the kitchen to see what the other three were doing with the dishes instead of washing them.

Half hidden by the dinning room hallway, Heather and John kept their silence until the kitchen’s door closed, and then she smiled sweetly at her husband.

‘‘Oh, honey’’

‘‘That wasn’t Ghost over there’’ John looked half glad and half concerned, with one arm wrapped around his wife’s waist, feeling her excitement. ‘‘That was Simon’’

‘‘I know’’ Heather could barely contain her happiness. ‘‘Oh, honey, I’m so glad’’

‘‘So am I, sweetheart, but…’’ John hesitated before asking, knowing the answer beforehand. ‘‘Don’t think about it as their friend. What’s your professional opinion?’’

‘‘I can’t speak about my patients, darling’’ Heather teased, jabbing a finger into her husband’s full stomach and giggling when he growled and grabbed her hand.

‘‘Then don’t speak about your patients, speak about our kids’’

She giggled again, and then tangled her fingers in his muttonchops lovingly.

‘‘I remember Simon back when I met him in that London café, with you. All smiles and cocky attitude, and so happy with that little toy plane that he had bought for his nephew’’

John nodded, his blue eyes a bit glossy now thinking about back then. He missed that Simon. He was glad that Simon was still there, inside of Ghost, somewhere, and that little by little, the shell was breaking.

‘‘If you’re asking if I think what it’s growing between him and Christine is good… yeah, I think it is’’ Heather continued, tugging lightly at his facial hair and giggling when he grumbled. ‘‘It’s a curious thing. What she needs most is to take care of others, to feel useful. And to be taken care of, to feel loved, needed. And the same goes for him’’

‘‘Well… we’ll see how it goes’’ John sighed, listening to the laughter and the clattering of dishes coming from the kitchen.

40 notes · View notes

five-thousand-loaves-of-bread · 8 months

Note

all i did is calmly state that nonverbal autistic people do communicate because you said you HATE a group of people that's primarily comprised of them. theyre at the fucking forefront of the push to recognise autistic communication and you're inciting a targeted harassment campaign at me getting people to spam me and stalk me and send shit on month old posts and anons telling me to kill myself and that i'm a retard and you BEGGED for that

woke to this and not really sure what go on because had to avoid tumblr few days but you send many and respond direct to only this one because overwhelm and not sure understand all long thing

1) not sure imply though all messages that am one also doing harassment send thing in inbox? because am not. been avoid tumblr been on few time look mutual post and post if remember only one thing explain still upset but not know how communicate (was plan direct respond to you) and look at you profile once. but not able post beyond that and did not send anything in inbox.

if already not know how put thought to word then definitely not going send thing to inbox because hi spending all time try explain self

2) to people who send hate & harassment, send w word send kill self stalk go through entire blog comment: that not okay that NEVER okay that awful. if did this, please unfollow me block me because not want you here. you not activist you not ally you just bully who use defend nonverbal person as excuse. thought made that clear long ago but guess not

to you who receive: sorry for that, not know that going on, did not ask for. know sorry not really erase what went on

3) you say i one “inciting targeted harassment” to you. if look back entire time only ask for help “tell” help “explain.” very first post use word “deal” because not have access all word not able pick choose, but is clarify as able find more word, tell & explain. use beg, that in same context. which, ask other help explain thing am not able explain, has been thing so many times because. communication impairment not able do explain, so ask others.

because not been on tumblr much, not know all thing happening (only read few post in your blog & got upset early & left so if talk about it somewhere deeper did not get there), not able see everything, only vague know people respond to my post because get notif but not able really read all because overwhelm & receptive language impair. and. general not aware things. not able know or even think about thing that happen behind scene beyond what able see, because theory of mind.

4) with all that. going try say this as calm as can, think you really should learn more about entire nonverbal experience, because look like you only know part. think this because first few messages, and now responses to me.

many nonverbal people not just “not able mouth speak but can do everything else like speaking person.” because way understand is seem you think part this.

some’s struggle with expressive language/communication may end at mouth talk, but able communicate perfect other ways, AAC letterboard etc. this may be closest thing to that but still not quite because many in this category struggle many with motor. not all like be call impair & deficit, so not use, but struggle even if only mouth talk sometime still consider expressive language/communication struggle. even though all communication valid. because it something you not able do, and that not able do create hard thing even with accessibility aid. AAC slow, letterboard slower. less spontaneous. not able do same as mouth talk as you think, not able do fast flow. that struggle. AAC letterboard allow communicate and that need be heard but attempt erase difference wrong.

but for others, many other of us. language communication struggle much more that. can see this in how me act through this.

throughout this can see repeat many time have thought have feeling not able put words. not able write that type that, but also not able put thought into word in own head. trapped in head trap in thought trap in own world not able get out. that very frustrate and that communication impair.

few word do able have, not accurate not able elaborate. like “tell” & “beg” - in head mean please someone explain to them that not true & what me meant. this lead to misunderstand. that communication impair. yes speaking and/or allistic people may also struggle understand, but not mean me magic not have impair.

and when misunderstand happen, not able fast defend self. not able clarify what mean. and you see what this lead to. that impair. if able respond faster or even if able clarify more by what mean “explain,” this not happen. that impair and it affect other people, you living it. but am even lucky in this, able defend self after while if spend many hour even some days spend all that time think how put thought to word. because many nonverbal people not able to. know nonverbal people who even with best AAC best modeling best teach, still not really able communicate with word. know nonverbal people who even struggle reliably voluntarily use nonverbal communication like gesture like sound. that struggle, that impair.

and, be nonverbal & higher autism level & bunch other thing, one of mean is struggle control emotion at all. if get upset angry not able think right even less able find right word which lead to unclear communicate or none at all.

me type like this write like this. that communication impair. still able communicate and deserve heard, yes, but still impair because not have as much able than other. both true.

so after this after all went through still think all autistic not have communication impair, really not know what tel you.

5) this idea that “all i did was nonverbal autistic do communicate and you treat me like THIS.”

first, no what you said not “nonverbal autistic do communicate.” what say was i wrong for say nonverbal autistic (specifically me) not have communication deficit/impair, that i wrong for say that for self, that say that because have negative view for self.

all communication valid but not all communication same & able do same thing. try go through entire day without any word any speak any type any AAC. only nonverbal communication. yes able communicate and should be listen but see how limiting. cannot talk abt dreams talk about more complex wants n needs cannot talk about abstract cannot talk about future goals cannot talk about anything that not have something physical able point to.

do not need you “defend” me (first comments), against other or self. not need you save me. you came in tell me i not correct for own experience, that my experience factual incorrect. you spoke over me & whether meant to or not, decide i not able decide for own self that need someone help correct. that wrong and rude, and seem like through your many message now you still not see that wrong. not need knight in shining armor. not need you save me from “my negative view of self” because admit have impair have deficit neutral fact not negative. not need you explain me to me.

similar to how do not need abled people tell me (or you) you not disabled you just differently abled have ability in own way. or like wheelchair user me not mobility impaired just differently walking (yes wheelchair help get around but not erase me not able walk right.

you not talk when young not mean you get speak over me about me experience, something am experiencing now. stop weaponize that. even other nonspeaking nonverbal people not get tell me how i able or not able describe self.

you not innocent victim for me get mad and upset at what you say (and only that part, rest of like harassment that genuinely sorry not deserve).

and, for some reason you dragging & doubting autistic catatonia into this. for record, it not even “only US” thing like you say, majority research coin done by UK psychologists through entire complex research approve process and peer review. trust you more than you, especially since look like you only google search.

#long post #discourse #disabled drama #<that filter tag for friends who overwhelm by stuff like this cannot change wording or else not get catch by filter #answered

34 notes · View notes

hadesoftheladies · 7 months

Text

I think I need to clarify something: when I say men see women as assets, subhuman, etc., that is not at ALL indicative of how I see women.

I say what I say because I believe based on history and culture, that men truly view women in these ways. Not because women are actually that way, but because the more women refuse to acknowledge that how they are being treated is a direct consequence of what men believe about them and themselves, the more they will be betrayed in the most gruesome ways.

Most women and girls, unfortunately, have this “the lion wont bite me because it will sense my good vibes” mentality to men. Just because he had proximity to you or “owns” you doesn’t mean he loves you, no matter how much you want him to. And just because he loves you doesn’t mean it’s enough.

Also, I’m someone who grew up with loving parents and typical brothers. We’ve laughed and cried together. Having history with someone is the biggest bond. But regardless of how deep my bond with my brothers is, I have still separated myself from them. It is painful, but I’ve also never been better. The self-respect and self-love I have requires that I bar people from mistreating me. “We accept the love we think we deserve” and too many of you think you deserve dogshit just because you’re a woman and it could be worse. My brothers have never beat me or called me a slur to my face. That doesn’t mean I get to excuse their rape jokes or them sharing nudes of other girls with their friends.

My father LOVES me. He would drive out in the middle of the night to buy pads and pain medication even if he just got back from work. That doesn’t mean I’ll laugh with him over him poking fun at my mom’s weight. That doesn’t mean I’ll laugh at his misogynistic jokes. I will and have fought viciously with that man because he is still a product of his history and environment. He loves me and he is also a misogynist. Accepting those facts about him doesn’t mean I tolerate his beliefs. I oppose them. And I let them inform how he truly sees me, because I wont accept being gaslit about the facts. He may not willfully want to harm women, but his intentions do not diminish what harm his words spread, and he 100% should face consequences for that. He does believe that women are subordinate and lesser to men. And I have 100% let it affect our relationship.

It’s not about whether you should compromise or not. It’s not about how much they care about you as their person. I understand that their loyalty ultimately lies with their manhood and self-construction under patriarchy. As much as they might defend me were I attacked in the street, I understand that they don’t mind that the world is unsafe for me. They may not want me personally to be raped, but they celebrate the status quo and will betray me for it. It’s a difficult reality to swallow, knowing that for all the tenderness my father has toward me, he ultimately believes I should be subordinate to him or a man. He believes I am a sub-genre of man. He believes God made me to be headed by a man. Both are true.

That still doesn’t mean I have to take any of their shit. Love can be felt and professed, but it is only meaningful in action. I am loved as a sister and a daughter, not as a woman. I am respected as their sister and their daughter. Not as a woman or equal human being. That is the truth about them, not me. And I have to respect that reality. Also because I have a responsibility to other women.

Affection is not absence of bigotry. My parents know I’m SSA, and they think that it’s a deformity and disease. They won’t kick me out of the house or kill me. But they don’t accept me either. They love me, but only to an extent. Their love absolutely has limits. So why shouldn’t my loyalty?

So I warn other girls about my brothers. I tell them to stay the fuck away. I was once close with my brothers but now I’m merely cordial. I deliberately avoid them on many occasions because I respect myself. I respect my instincts. I respect my values and my personhood. I won’t tell the itch that it isn’t there. I fight with my father. I don’t let him use examples of his generosity or sacrifice he’s made to excuse his misogyny and bigotry or disrespect of me, my sister, women or my mother. I don’t laugh along with his homophobic or fat phobic jokes. No matter how much he wants me to. I don’t care that he thinks it’s a break in our bond. It should be.

Because I can acknowledge that their hate isn’t personal, without accepting the lie that somehow, that should be enough for me. That they respect me.

You deserve so much better gyns. Don’t measure what you deserve based on whether you can get better from someone else. You deserve better because you are a human being. Don’t settle for what is beneath what you as a human being deserve or what you can give yourself.

I wouldn’t love myself and find freedom in being myself, unshakeable confidence, if I didn’t protect myself from the people that love me, but not what I’m made of. You should be embraced, not tolerated. Respected, not merely wanted or liked.

#radblr #feminism #radfem #mine

25 notes · View notes

2aceofspades · 6 months

Note

Hi, I'm the anon who asked if you were okay with all of this chaos. I have many things to say!

First off, your many thank yous made me very very (two verys) happy. So thank YOU.

Second, you absolutely deserve all of the attention you're getting. You're seriously an incredible artist, and I love the fact that a lot of your art is on paper. I especially love how Donnie looks in your style (which is funny, because I remember you saying that you DIDN'T like it). Ahem. Getting off track a bit there. Anyways. You're an incredible artist, and all of the attention is well earned, AND it's okay to feel overwhelmed. I hope you know that we don't expect you to answer everything right away. You're popular, and lots of people are asking you to do things. You can choose to not do something, and you SHOULD. Do what inspires you, and we'll love it!

Third, and hopefully finally. I play with character AIs a lot, just to kind of see how characters would react to certain things. I AM an author, and I can imagine these things myself, but I like seeing it from external sources more. It almost seems more believable. When a human comes up with it, it just feels more raw and expressive. Or something. I have no clue what I'm saying; hopefully it's not too muddled. Then, when someone DRAWS it. It's a thousand times better. I just love it so much!

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love how we can give you prompts and questions, and you'll go somewhere amazing with it. I loved the thing with Leo, Donnie, and the coffee. My thanks goes out to you and the asker. It's a huge gift to us when you respond. Literally, it's like a present, I love it.

So, just to clarify because I'm paranoid and words don't really work sometimes, are you okay with super random prompt-asks? Like earlier I saw a post where so-and-so asked so-and-so what the turtles night-time routines would be. Stuff like that?

Thank you so much for everything you do for us! You're amazing, and we all appreciate you.

OH.MI.GOSH??!!!?!

Wah-

Thank you so much!!! Gah- I hope I can articulate an even somewhat intelligent response to literally ALL of this. Okay!

First off, I see what you did there and I frickin’ loved it ohmigosh best response ever!! 🙌✨

Secondly, I really really appreciate all your kind words. You seriously had me smiling the whole way through oh stars you’re too kind 🥹 Also, I’m very glad there are some of y’all out there that like the way I draw Donnie…especially traditionally, cuz I won’t lie…I get a bit over-critical of how I draw him hehe. Glossing over that teehee~ But seriously, I also really appreciate your respect of my time cuz I feel much less pressured and more seen as just a lil human doing art things, so thank you! 🌟

And lastly, I totally understand ya and I couldn’t agree more. It’s honestly better when I see other artists capture emotions cuz I just eat that up aaughh yes!! Ahem..I just hope that I can capture at least some emotional accuracy in my art, especially considering how dialogue is not my strong suit by a long shot hehe…

Awwwee! Thank you so much!! It was really fun sketching a silly lil moment like that, so I couldn’t be more grateful for the idea that inspired me 🤗

And finally, that’s where it gets complicated cuz…it’s honestly just complicated for me and my lil gremlin brain. I really do enjoy answering lil prompts and putting my own spin on them, but I can’t make it like…an official thing…? If that makes any sense. Like, I think I’ve seen a few artists on Tumblr put out a post for prompt asks, but that idea, for me, makes me very nervous. I naturally try not to think too much while I draw, I just feel my emotions, really. I dunno…maybe that’s a lame excuse gah..- but, as it stands, for now, I’m ~okay~ with answering the occasional prompt ask, but I won’t be making a post about it or anything. I’m just a little um..paranoid..?..after the whole spontaneous sticker war thing heh…

One last big thank you to you, anon 🙌🙌 I seriously appreciate it so much 💙✨

#ace answers #this was so long winded on my end i am so sorry #that's a bad habit of mine heh..#but!#thank you for your ask anon!!#i hope i didn't like...melt your brain or anything with my response 😅#:)

19 notes · View notes

morally-grey-girlbosses · 8 months

Note

why would you ad men to a poll about girls?

I suppose I had better explain this one since I know a lot of people weren't here right since the start.

When I first opened the submissions my policy was to run qualifier polls on characters that I didn't think unequivocally qualified. While I was still operating under this policy, three male-aligned characters (Captain Jack Sparrow, Patrick Bateman, and Miles "Tails" Prowler) were submitted, and I ran qualifiers for them accordingly. After a few days of this, people began to complain, both because of the men and because of a glut of joke submissions, and I started taking my responsibilities as an officiator of this poll more seriously. I started taking more liberties with what characters I disqualified by executive fiat, including enforcing my policy of keeping this a girlboss-aligned tournament. However, the three men that were submitted had been submitted in good faith, and had passed the qualifier poll. I felt it would be a betrayal of their submitters to disqualify them now. So yes, those three men did make it in.

I'll also address the nonbinary characters now. I haven't seen as much outcry over this, but a couple people were confused so I'll clarify - it was always my intention to allow canonically nonbinary characters to enter the poll. This is because I myself, as a plural system in which certain members are nonbinary, do not mind having the girlboss label applied to me. Nonbinary experiences are a vast set of spectrums, and this can include people who use genderless, gender-neutral, or alternative-gender pronouns but still allow themselves to identify with traditionally feminine-aligned labels. It was never my intention to suggest that canonically nonbinary characters such as Chara were women, and I apologize if I failed to make that clear.

One other thing I've seen coming up vis-a-vis Jack Sparrow is the fact that he is played by Johhny Depp. I will say this only once: fuck Johnny Depp. However, Johnny Depp the actor is not Captain Jack Sparrow the character, and being a fan of one is not the same as being a fan of the other. In general, I am against excluding media from this tournament, whenever possible. I have allowed characters from Homestuck and Hazbin Hotel to enter the tournament, despite the problematic history of the creators, because I believe that people should be allowed to engage with media on a basis that does not require them to be constantly aware of its creator, and that censorship of media based on its morality is rarely excusable. The exception to this rule is that I have not allowed Harry Potter characters to be submitted, because the Harry Potter universe is not only laced with problematic elements in itself, but all proceeds from it essentially, at this point, go to fund an antisemitic, racist, transphobic political hate campaign.

Finally, I will once again remind you all that any hate in my notes will get you blocked. You have the right to disagree with others and you most certainly have the right to disagree with me. That does not give you the right to attack and insult others over anything - how they choose their vote, how they run their tournament, how they engage with media, etc. I have seen actual death threats in my notes towards submitters of characters people did not like. I shouldn't have to tell you all that I will not tolerate that, but here we are.

#asks #long post #important #please respect your local pollrunners #its hard work and rarely appreciated

24 notes · View notes

voidchillz · 3 months

Text

My thoughts on pro shippers (Important Post)

TW: mild swearing

I thought I’d make a post on this just to clarify my opinion so people can unfollow or block to their leisure, this is not a post inviting negative people into my comments or asks. This is also not a post advocating real world abuse, illegal activity, or inappropriate behaviour.

I won’t say I’ve had perfect opinions that everyone should listen to my entire life, because that’s blatantly not true, people change. And I obviously wish people on the internet were not as vindictive and cruel. For starters, during my first years in the undertale fandom, I of course had strong opinions encouraged by others to hate frans, and fontcest, and any denomination of pro ships. But that has clearly changed over time.

I’d like to make it clear there is a line as to which I enjoy problematic ships. I do not like non-consensual, I do not like underage, I do not like incest, I do not like abusive relationships, whether that is in fiction or reality. And I refuse to skirt lines and insist ‘oh I only like the design not the character’, or ‘oh I hate the creator I just enjoy the concept’, or make up some other bullshit excuse to fail to convince people that I deserve to be alive. Because ✨miraculously✨, what fictional characters and ships you enjoy DOES NOT REFLECT WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU ARE.

It’s in the same vein as, if Person A likes the most depraved physical painful filthy fetishes, if at the same time they are a genuinely kind Human being that helps where they can and respects others without condition, it does not fucking matter✨💕 Person B is allowed to disagree and not have the same interests as Person A, but Person B does not then get to decide whether or not Person A deserves respect. Just the same way that Person A should not try to force Person B into liking what they like.

I’m not saying that people should be ashamed of what makes them uncomfortable because they’re insulting other people. This is not a post trying to coerce others into liking proships. You have complete freedom to disagree with others and avoid certain parts of your respective fandoms, just like I am by avoiding underage, non-con, or abuse. What I’m saying is that it is childish and ignorant to be outright threatening and disrespectful to people online for liking something you don’t.

There is no excuse for being a dick.

Now of course, if these people are actually harming others in real life, for example grooming or manipulating or any other form of abuse, by all means, tear their metaphorical testicles off and do whatever you can to ban their accounts and keep people safe from them. Because that is who they are as a person, harmful and dangerous to those around them.

Regarding children/minors/under 18s on the internet

Kids are being exposed to the internet way earlier than they probably should, likely because all the people that first started being exposed to it were already teenagers when it was invented. Keep in mind it was made public in the early 90s, meaning every adult using it now since the early days is in their thirties or twenties at the youngest, others currently growing into it.

There is not a single person on this planet who hasn’t experimented or tried to find communities to help them find safe places to learn about sexuality or adult concepts before they were 18. The reason 18+ accounts ask that minors do not interact is for a multitude of reasons, one being that if they are seen interacting with someone younger than them, even if it was an innocent interaction or someone in their late teens, they are liable to a heavy accusation of grooming. Another being they could likely be uncomfortable knowing minors see their content and feel like they have to censor themselves for this. Another is that it is very frustrating to try to block every single minor they see on their platform if they are an account with a high following. The point is, the internet has very easily accessible fucked up shit, and it is your own and your own responsibility only to avoid it.

Stop dehumanising kids. Stop dehumanising people you don’t know.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

#in short #if I see ‘no proshitters’ in your account #please go away #YOU are not welcome.#let people enjoy things #you are not allowed to say there are exceptions unless the person is enjoying murder and rape on real people #because guess what #drawing fictional characters and scenarios vs real murder and rape #DO NOT GO TOGETHER

11 notes · View notes

rxttenfish · 5 months

Note

hi !!! sending this on anon because i am rather nervous all things considered <:3 (i am lying to you, i have not considered 'all things'.) one monster prom fan to another (can we be compared using such broad terminology ? i feel as if i am domesticated compared to you... [compliment, or at the very least not inherently negative]) , i wanted to thank you SO SO SO VERY MUCH for giving miranda so much love and thought and mulling her over in your mind in such a ... refreshing way

i also really really really like miri , but i can only aspire to have your level of dedication . it feels almost like we are of totally different worlds... !!!!!

thank you for bringing in real world biology too :3 i absolutely adore your design for her so much (this is most likely not proper grammar, but it is very late and i am very cold and so i will hope with all my heart you will excuse this mistake. one of many, i should assume) - though !!!! i do have a question if that is alright ?????

i cant say that a marine macropredator of a significantly vibrant pink really strikes me as advantageous colouring - does the abyssal environment that you say the merfolk live in negate the need for camouflage and such ????? i apologise for sounding passive aggressive !!!! i am merely asking a question. cocking my head to the side if you will

additionally, i would like to ask something foolish. how do they acquire food? i dont want to say 'hunt', because that might seem insulting. historically were they built for stalking, or high speed chases, or...???? please, talk 'nerdy to me' as they say !!! <- in an entirely normal way befitting two strangers of course.

you know, i would have expected to hit the ask word limit by now. but it seems i have not. yippee !!!!

with my extra space, i shall add this: I ABSOLUTELY ADORE THE WAY YOIU WRITE MIRI . GOOD LOOOOOORD IT IS AMAZING HAVIJNG SOMEOENE WHO KNOWS WHAT THEYRE DOING IWIITH HER thank yoiu for making her at least moderately intelligent. i feel blessed <- is this all too harsh sounding???? im a little new to all this letter/ask-writing thing <:3

IN ANY CASE !!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOIU SO VERY MUCH. AGAIN. drops this and scuttles away

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/761693443676045363/1183251697129226270/ordered3.png

also i believe you can indeed tell, but i drew that in ms paint with my finger .. sorry that it looks like poop <:3

(moving the image out of the link just in case it breaks-)

AAAAAA THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! this looks so WONDERFUL i love the way that you've shaped her head and how you've captured how Chunky it is... i know its one of the things people have the hardest time drawing with her so its just all the more impressive how well youve managed to capture her!!!

i also love the little doodles eeeee..... please feel free to toss all ocs at miri, its enrichment for her <3 ironically gentle chewing/biting is a Play and Bonding thing for merfolk so she shall happily Bites Bites Bites back-

(also i LOVE her smile!!! you arent anthropomorphizing in the slightest for that - miri often does have very human expressions in a way that's odd for a merfolk, because she effectively got imprinted during her time spent inland... and its politically useful if you smile and match expressions with the people you're trying to work with anyways)

ill also go ahead and answer your questions because i can! very easily clarify on them!

the color: actually, being bright red and pink is actually very common for deep sea animals, due to the way light works at depth! its why i decided miranda was abyssal, because that felt like the most natural way to explain why she's pink, since it's such an uncommon color in nature.

basically, different colors of light have different lengths! red is the shortest wavelength of light, and blue is the longest. water might be clear, but there's a lot of water in the ocean, and the more water you add, the more it filters out light - which is why the bottom of a pool might be dark and shady, but if you hold a little of the water in your hands there's no shade. the ocean is a lot deeper than a pool, and so it gets darker as you go down, but because it's also clear, it doesn't filter out all that light at the same rate.

red, being the shortest wavelength of light, gets filtered out first, so red often gets quickly darker the deeper down you go, until it's completely black! camouflage is dependent on the environment, so their color and brightness has to match the background, but it also depends on the light that's hitting the animal. it's why fawns have dappled spots, or animals might have black stripes, so they can mimic the light of their environment. and when your environment has no red light, well... red's a pretty good color to be!

because of this, a lot of animals in the deep sea can't actually see red either, which is doubly the reason why you might want to be red! think of it like tigers, and how ungulates often can't see their orange, making them look just about the same color as the foliage around them when they're hunting! miranda might stick out on land, but that's just because we aren't seeing her in the environment she's made for, where she blends in with everything else around her as much as a pure black animal.

(it's also why her bioluminescence is blue - blue is the longest wavelength of light, and the one most animals can see at that depth. if she lights up, then she wants to be seen, and she can even alter her silhouette to appear larger or smaller or breaking it up into multiple shapes if she needs to. it's why her tapetum lucidum is blue when light's shone on it, because there is blue light to be seen at depth, it's just very dim!)

(this is also why giant squid are bright red, and why the stoplight loosejaw fish is so special! the latter actually produces its own red light, and can see red light, which means that it has a secret light that won't reveal where it is but will reveal to it where its prey is!)

food: this is something that depends a lot, because there are actually multiple different species of merfolk, which is mostly my fault because i don't always feel like i communicate this the best. they're all slightly different in how they evolved to capture prey, with abyssals in particular being fuckoff huge ambush predators that attack from below, and others being shallower-water hunters or more adapted for smaller, faster prey - but they all evolved from an ancestor with a fairly consistent prey-capture method.

in short, all merfolk are ancestrally evolved to hunt whales and other large prey items, with all the extant species still holding at least a degree of this. primarily, they were ambush predators who were good at getting in close to their prey before a sudden burst of speed. they would work together in close-knit groups (one of the big pressures for their increasing socialization and larger brains, to coordinate such groups) to all mob a single prey item at once, hitting with force to cause sudden trauma, and then using their claws, double-thumbs, back feet, and mouths to hold onto their prey and refuse to be dislodged. they'd repeatedly claw and use their strong bites and massive heads to rip deeply into their prey, causing further massive trauma and shock, and if that failed, bleeding their prey to death.

think of it like the raptor prey restraint model, just further taking advantage of the fact that they were underwater, where no one else has hands that could potentially rip them off. being smaller and somewhat less-optimized for marine life compared to things like sharks and whales and large fish worked for them, because they had a novel adaptation that allowed them to take advantage of things no one else could, and the numbers to make up for it. this is, likewise, why they never lost their hands and fully developed flippers, instead making their limbs as flipper-like as possible to make up for it.

then as time went on and certain populations became separated from each other, they adapted for slightly different niches, but all remain fairly closely related to each other as a genus.

in the modern day, most merfolk don't really "hunt" for all of their meals, at least not in the same way that we might think. don't get me wrong, they still absolutely hunt and it's a larger part of their lives than it is for most humans, but they have options.

mostly, the merfolk theory for their relationship with nature is to invite it in. this is not to say they aren't controlling and pruning it, but they do live underwater, and it's far harder to keep animals out than it is on land, so merfolk accepted it and worked with it. they'll work to promote growth around their buildings and where they live, fostering the growth of sea grass and algae and coral and other sessile animals, encouraging them to set down and grow in these areas, and they'll then let more wild animals move in, further encouraged by these natural sources of food and shelter, on top of merfolk working even further to encourage them in. they serve as a functional cleanup crew for the merfolk in these settlements, being allowed to eat anything that merfolk might drop or go to waste, and even moreso might be purposefully fed at times, or have specific homes for them built. merfolk will keep encouraging them and taking care of them until they become a biorich hotspot, creating unique oasises for wildlife to live alongside merfolk.

however, this isn't just a free-for-all, persay. merfolk will also purposefully prune these populations and control how they form, often removing "problem" animals and encouraging certain behaviors which makes it easier for these populations to live alongside merfolk, not viewing them as a threat, but also not viewing them as an opportunity either. they will directly shape how these areas grow and cultivate them on a physical level, often using them as an easy shortcut to literally grow their settlements and buildings. but they will also harvest from these populations and selectively breed them, until their cities and towns act as massive public gardens full of food to be caught, picked, and eaten at any time

as there are also a lot of (very politically powerful) nomadic groups, they also do this, albeit not always so directly. they'll have specific shoals or "runs" of fish that they will follow behind and take care of, managing as they move through the ocean in accordance with the seasons. this is where the whales still factor in, because the nomadic groups will also take care of the whales, purposefully keeping an eye on their pods and taking care of them and, when the time comes, being choosy and particular in which whale they select at any given time to be hunted, harvested, and eaten.

(there's also the way in which food is distributed and managed throughout the merkingdom, since some food is indeed shipped and moved throughout the different areas, but that's a different story for another time and i've talked enough)

BUT!!!! thank you so much and thank you for enjoying all of this that ive been making with miri, and thank you for giving me an excuse to talk more about her <3

#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#asks #Anonymous #Monster Prom #Miranda Vanderbilt #i am wholeheartedly a ''miri is smart'' person because i mean. cmon.#of course shes smarter than she looks you dont just trip your way into knowing how to play people like a fiddle #manipulation requires cleverness!! knowing how to use it well just comes with the station she has #(honestly to the point where i think her playing stupid is just. well. that! playing stupid!)#(and sometimes just Playing too tbh. she seems to enjoy just. being silly. more than fully fitting into her role)#(which from what i can tell she DOES fit into her role VERY well)#(and absolutely means that yeah no miri acting the way she does isnt just because she has no idea how to be any other way)#(and is instead a deliberate choice that she's making for some other reason)#(which continues to frustrate me because CANON STOP MOVING TOWARDS ''NO SHES JUST STUPID'')

16 notes · View notes