#also in the deleted scene I feel like Wills like -choose the right woman- was a bit worse than like

[skymagpie]

Ignore tag venting about 20 year old pirate films </3

[casmybelovedass]

The Destiel Folder: Season 10

[Season 4; Season 5; Season 6; Season 7; Season 8; Season 9]

Episode 1:

Cas is slowly dying, practically naked, in a bed, and the first thing he says when talking about Dean is "I miss him" (6:35), with a soft smile. "Why would he just disappear?"

... I'm sorry but If Cas Were A Woman, this would look like a scene from a movie or something, where the wife talks to a friend over the phone about her missing husband. JUST SAYING

Crowley: "The girl seemed nice. Slightly damaged. I could see the old you falling for that." (9:29) uhm... who else is "nice and slightly" damaged? I don't know... CASTIEL??!!!

So... these two men (actors Todd Mann and Brad Mann) we see with the DemonGang, are real life twins (9:14).

At (27:18), Crowley states him and Dean did "extroardinary things to triplets" ... and, well, the only twins with a possible other sibling we see are... them

And this is not the first time we hear about Dean doing "things to triplets" with a buddy of his (15x07)... and the first time he was NOT a demon... so, there's that. And triplets don't necessarily mean "all females"

Cas, while talking about the good things that come with choices, mentions "hope, love, dreams" (39:06), and Hannah points out that "those are human things". Human things...

Cas is talking about his own personal experiences with creating chaos, so those are the things he felt after rebelling for... Dean... WOW. ICWAW, it would totally be read it as a reference to Dean. A romantic one. Fight me

Episode 2:

Cas is dying, just got back from a fight that left him wounded, doesn't have enough power to heal himself, is on a mission to restore Heaven, and once again he chooses to go save Dean (9:35), and the way rage builds in his eyes when learning Dean has become a demon. Look at this shit

I might be crazy, but this feels like a touching metaphor to me:

"I think you don't know what you want. Tell me, Dean. What are you? A demon? [...] Maybe you're human. [...] Why don't you do us all a great, big favor... and pick a bloody side!" (22:22)

METAPHOR

Episode 3:

We are reminded that, even tho in terrible conditions, on the verge of death, Cas is willing to risk it all to save Dean, and is devastated by the thought of Dean not making it (4:47 - 5:17)

This is so funny to me, I'm sorry, but Cas is so visibly uncomfortable with Hannah touching him, it's hilarious (15:58)

"I've been around humans for long enough to see how easily distractions occur. Emotions, feelings... They're dangerous temptations." (22:32) like rebelling against your own kind, destroying your home, falling... all for a human?

"I'm trying to keep our priorities clear." Moments earlier, Cas listed "Getting to Dean" (22:17) before anything else. In fact, Hannah says "I am very clear of my priorities... and yours." = Dean (23:00)

Cas is not sure whether the cure will kill Dean or not, and in any case, he wraps his arms around him, and softly says "It's over... Dean it's over." (35:40) as if hushing him to sleep, in what could have been their last moments together... wow. Think about this ICWAW

"Well, I can see his point. Only humans can feel real joy, but... also such profound pain. This is easier." (36:17) Look at the way Sam is looking at Cas looking at Dean

BITCH OKAY!!

SAM KNOWS

POSSIBILE future Empty reference "real joy"

Cas already stated he misses being human, but knows how fragile they are in both body and spirit:

Castiel really wants to be with Dean. For real. But maybe he thinks (see season 9) him being an angel is an obstacle to their feelings.

Only by being human he can truly be happy (MMMMMMHH SEASON 15), but isn't sure he could handle the pain that comes with it. A possible rejection, the thought of Dean dying, him leaving Dean... MMMMHHHHH

"You look terrible." [...] "Well, you, on the other hand, you... *checks out Cas* Looking good." (39:09) full homo right there. Also parallel with Ketch in 13x18 ("You don't look good." "Yeah, well, you're not my type, either.")

The way they are looking at each other here... man.

Cas is so happy to have Dean back, and Dean looks hurt about Cas leaving so soon.

"So... so, you're back?" "At least temporarily." (39:27) bitch, you know that's not what he ment.

In all of this, Cas is trying to make Dean feel better about the whole situation (DAT SMILE 40:18), and Dean replies with "I'm glad you're back, man.", basically no-homoing himself...

Cas starts walking out of the room, but stops and turns back [insert concerned husband here] (40:27), and Dean has that hopeful look in his eyes, like Cas is going to stay, and the hurtful look comes back as soon as Cas is gone

Episode 4:

"On your knees!" "Wow, I'm awfully flattered-" (34:33) SASSY BI DEAN IS THE DEAN WE DESERVE

Episode 5:

Fucking kill me NOW!!! Dean's reaction to Destiel is PRICELESS!! And even before he learns what that is, he just looks at the girls playing him and Cas and... freezes for a moment (13:18) And the eyebrow raise thingy at (13:34)... what's going on in your brain, Dean?

I'd like to point out that the Italian translation for "You can't spell 'subtext' without S-E-X" is, for once, AMAZING:

"It's just that... their bond is so strong it has subtext of a... sexual nature."

THANK YOU ITALIAN DUB! JUST THIS ONCE, THANK YOU! (13:43)

Also at (9:44) Dean immediately reacts to the implication of Wincest subtext, shutting it down and telling the girls to take a step back, but with Destiel he is like... alright

... this is so fucking cute, (25:54) Dean adjusts the girl playing Cas' tie so that it's messed up like the real Cas'. ADORABLE

SAM SHIPS IT (13:57) and is teasing the SHIT out of Dean, who reacts like someone being teased about their crush. Just saying (14:08 - 14:52) [AND THIS HAPPENS IN FRONT OF A PINK-BLUE WALL]

"I know I have expressed some differences of opinion regarding this version of Supernatural." (26:44) ... oookay meta? *turns to "Cas"* "And I want you to put as much sub into that text as you possibly can." ... oKAY?!

Episode 7:

Cas being extremely uncomfortable with women is too fucking funny to me (5:03 - 12:51)

Episode 9:

(15:13) Alright, so, this is a date... what now? Anyway, nice bi flannel, Dean. And the little sweet smiles you two are giving each other? So fucking precious (16:01)

"I ain't exactly a role model." "That's not true." (16:07) how Dean looks at Cas right after that? BABIES!

"How are you, Dean?" "Fine." "*I-call-bullshit look*" "I'm great!" "No, you're not." (16:18) #MARRIED

As Cas is choke-holding a guy, Dean, clearly amused (almost proudly), says "I'd do what he says." (22:17) Like that time with Raphael in 5x03, Dean likes it when Cas gets rough

Episode 10:

Shut the fuck up and marry each other already so you can finally actually BE the old married couple™️ you ALREADY ARE (22:17)

This is the "My husband is so FUCKING STUPID" look (22:30)

"I was hoping you might reach out to her." "... Me? I'm probably the last person she'd want to hear from." [...] "All I know... is she won't talk to me." (23:03) #MARRIED, PARENTS, PERIODT

Shut the fuck up. Cas is the dad trying to figure out technology (23:36) "I'll text you her number. I like texting. Emotions!" DAD

Cas worries about Dean like a wife would with an alcoholic husband

Of all the things Dean could be MAD about at Metateon... the first thing he can think of is him stealing Cas' grace (31:33) (okay, maybe he is going in chronological order but STILL)

Episode 11:

[I AM SO SO SO SORRY BUT DEAN USED THE ALIAS "PRESLEY" (18:55) I AM NOT OKAY]

Episode 14:

Have this deleted scene: Castiel and Crowley bitching over Dean, and Crowley calling Dean Cas' boyfriend

This is some hell of a goodbye-eye-love-making scene (26:57)

Cain compares himself to Dean... and CAS TO HIS WIFE COLLETTE [PARALLELS]

"You're living my life in reverse [...]

First you'd kill Crowley. You'd get it done, no remorse. (Cain had been killing his descendants, for whom he didn't care much)

And then you'd kill the angel, Castiel. Now, that one... that, I suspect, would hurt something awful. [And than Sam is Able, bla bla...]"

AM I WRONG?! YOU'RE GONNA LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT I'M WRONG??!!!

Dean gives the First Blade to Cas... oKAY (37:10)

Worried brother-in-laws (41:27)

Episode 16:

This is such a good source of hidden meanings scene! Dean starts his "confession" as a scam. Everything he says at first is to attract the spirit.

He starts talking about seeing lots of women, not being able to control himself, and being sick of it. Then the real confession begins...

Dean feels he's going to die soon, and fears not death itself, but what he would be missing from his life.

"There's things... people, feelings that I... I would experience differently than I had before. Or even for the first time." (25:28) and the priest believes Dean is talking about love.

Well... "people, feelings"... who could he be referring to? Does Dean want love all of a sudden? People he wants to experience for the first time... uhmmmm... Is Dean opening up to his attraction to MEN??!! Or one angel in particular?

ICWAW we would guess Dean was talking about Cas

"Who mixes their blood and bones into paint? No woman has ever done that for me." (39:19) UHM- Dean, what about

6x20 "He has bled, died bla bla bla for us",

7x21 "I'm always happy to bleed for the Winchesters" or

9x22 "You just gave up an entire army for one guy"

ICWAW we would ALL roll our eyes at this statement and scream CAS

THE GUY BLED, LOST HIS HOME, REBELLED, DIED FOR YOU!! HE REBUILT YOU PIECE BY PIECE FROM HELL- SAVED YOU DOZENS OF TIMES!!!

Episode 17:

About saving Dean from the Mark: "We won't- (free Metatron)" "Yes, you will... because you're desperate." (9:44) Hannah knows. Let's remark that

"All I'm getting from you is... colours." (14:26) bitch he is a walking 🌈PRIDE FLAG🏳️‍🌈

Notice how, when we get a Sam-Cas centred episode, we don't get the same interactions with Dean-Cas? Why this?

Dean is always ready to call Cas a "brother", but the only one true bromance here is Sam and Cas'. There are no longing stares, no weird sexual filled dialogue nor tension, NO LONGING STARES

Facts, my people. Facts

Episode 18:

"You killed my friend." "Oh, pff, Dean is fine, mostly. Can't you get past that?" "Never." (12:39)

Charlie being excited about meeting Dean's famous boyfriend is WHOLESOME (37:34)

To have Cas back, 100%, safe and sound, is a win for Dean (38:58) and the face Cas makes after Dean hits him with another no-homo "It's good to have you back, pal." is "UHH not this again". Charlie already ships it

Episode 20:

A #MARRIED couple and their daughter. NO ARGUMENTS VALID (7:06)

Look at how they enter the motel (16:22)

OH MY GOOOOOD!!! #PARENTS coming back home from shopping!! THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER!!! Also

"Happy birthday. I got it at the Hot Topical" DAD

Dean: "Imma head back over there." Cas: "I'm coming with you." Claire: "I'm coming with you too." (17:24) #FAMILY

A fucking family comedy about a dad confronting the daughter's boyfriend and the other dad scolding him:

"What did you do to him?" "I didn't lay a hand on him!" "Dean, that isn't exactly true." "... Well, I didn't kill the guy." (17:14)

Surprisingly enough, this is not the first nor last time Dean acts like a dad to a lost child (AND TWO OF THESE TIMES THE KID IS SOMEHOW RELATED TO CAS) (21:54)

Episode 22:

C: "Claire, you are not going out there. [...] It's too dangerous. I can't let anything happen to you." D: "Claire, you're not going." C: "You're not either, Dean." D: "What?" (19:29)

#FAMILY DON'T TALK TO ME!

"No fighting. [...] Both of you." AAAAAA

This doesn't fucking matter, but Dean just said "... for the ladies. Or the fellas. I don't judge." (36:23)

Cas' speech to Dean... wow. "So if there's even a small chance that we can save you... I won't let you walk out of this room." (39:20)

I hate this scene. (40:11)

Dean is overwhelmed by Charlie's death, Sam and Cas' betrayal, the Mark changing him and all the other shit.

The Mark is taking over, and Dean can't (and won't) help it. Cas knows it. He doesn't want to hurt Dean. He is not even resisting. Doesn't put up a fight.

And just like Colette with Cain, Castiel only asks Dean one thing: "Stop." (40:38) [9x11]

Parallel to 8x07:

The only thing that stops Cas from killing Dean, is him begging, clutching onto his sleeve.

"Dean... please..." (41:08) Cas pleading Dean, clutching to his arm, makes him resist the urge to kill him.

Episode 23:

You can find gifs and the script of some deleted (destiel) scenes in this post by @charlie-minion

As the Mark eats Dean... he starts feeling guilt for the people he hurt... first on the list: Cas (14:54)

(This gif is not mine)

Well... what a season.

[Season 11>>]

[yuukannahito98]

The end of my journey...

Okay, after a journey that I had traveled for 6 years, I arrived at a state where I would end everything. Even though I was so ready, so ready if I had to write the ending of this story as MaouxChiho, I never thought it would ended so much worst like this.

Not only disappointed with vol 21, I even like being slapped. It's not about whether I've read the whole novel or not, but even I don't want to know the full volume like this. and for me, who always believes in the stories made by Wagahara, believing that he will be the person who will make the main character live happily, I felt so betrayed. Wagahara is the person who always makes Emi a character who has serious inner heart problems than the others, but it turns out that he will also be a person who only uses those as bait.

Not because of maouemi. No. Not because of that. It was because when even I found out that Emi, one of the main characters, one of our favorites, ends up like this. Like an item that has only been used. No proper ending, no proper happiness, no proper confession, and still doing everything even if that must to sacrifice her own feelings to the one she love.

Wagahara was great. Really great. can make other people fall in love with the character, but willing to destroy the character in the end. Which makes the reader can do nothing but accept.

When I reread all of my posts on this tumblr, I didn't know what to do, so I laughed. Large, enormous. It's not us who make it up, even if we didn't thinking anything, all of that affectionate words from that damn demon, Wagahara's words, that were uttered by him when he described Emi's feelings, turned out to be all just anglers.

Not only that, the plot in vol 20, which can be said to be very beautiful, as if all of it was just a fishing rod, a commercial tool. And then after faith in 2 years waiting the series, suddenly wagahara gives a very different version of every character except Emi and Alas-ramus, at the end of the story. I even feel sick. what's with this ending ?!

Maou and Chiho, really, I am so happy for you both. You guys deserve each other..

I didn't even think he could turn Maou into someone we really hates in volume 21. As for Chiho, I am so done with her. There's something wrong with her. there is no way some highschool girl who dreamed her love will be a man with harem while she still at a first place from that harem. And not only that, suggesting your friend, Emi, to be the one of that harem of the man she loves. Yeah, some kind of sick selfish pleasure.

Not only that, at the end, the person who was going to Maou to go outside (apparently it was not a date, but it was also very confusing till Lunacain surrendered) it turned out to be another random woman, a person we don't even know who, but that person was often in history call of Maou. Can't you believe it? After all the feelings and developments that had occurred between Emi and Maou, Maou finally chose one person who he would easily forget and didn't even know about her plans to leave at all and just was about to go focused on other random women. No wonder Kaori (Chiho's friends) upset. Can't you believe? I'm so done. ah, but ... anyway, Chiho said she didn't mind sharing, right? Did you see how perfect this couple would be?

Oh my, what kind of bullshit is that? What kind of love is that? As an ex-shipper of maouemi, as a person who has followed, and analyzed their relationship in 6 years, to know the ending with Maou having this kind of shit relationship with .... I don't even know with who anymore, it's really a big slaps.

How wonderful Wagahara could be...

You know, Even Emi, can't express her feelings directly to Maou. Instead Chiho was the one who had to say that to Maou ... what was that. I'm okay if from the beginning of their relationship there was no progress at all, but even Suzuno got rejection and recognition, what happened to Emi?

And then Wagahara still have the gut to give us that kiss, no what's the point of it? If wagahara plans to get Maou and Chiho together, why do you bothered to write Emi only to make her feels hurt in the end? Do you hate Emi all this time? Is this your true feelings? Are all the feelings you wrote about Emi's character just a trap? No. Is that how you really feel? Do you really think that seeing Emi destroyed is very interesting? to the extent that you leave Emi and Alas-ramus, while other characters have their own good ending. Even the relationship between Chiho's friends, who I don't even know their name, get a happy ending (wait, there's something between them? who is that again?) maybe their scene is only 1 sheet or several lines anyway.

I can't believe I walked in and played on other people's traps for 6 years. I can't believe I didn't see this happening, the fact that there was a chance that Wagahara would end up giving Emi and Alas-ramus a bad end. Even worse than the end of the harem. no, much worse.

Hataraku-Maousama is the first series that has made me like this. Create analysis, content, publish it, write fanfic which has now been read by thousands of people, getting dozens of reviews. Makes me save up and ready to buy all the books. But it ended up with me being completely let down, didn't I.

No. I don't care about ship at all. but because I found out how unfortunate this main character will end. Why don't you make Emi and Alas-ramus live on Ente Isla happily? No. You can't do it, because you're also confused about Maou and Alas-ramus and Emi relationship that you've built for more than 8 years. Even Chiho also said that right? that we can't see other random man together with Emi, and there is also Alas-ramus. but, by force, you choose this kind of shit ending. Emi wasn't even mentioned at the end of the story. What the hell? Now we will know that Emi will be a young mother who is alone until the end of her life. I am wasting so much feelings just to get this. I am so done.

At the end, this is my last post for Hataraku-Maousama...

Plus, you may also notice that there are some posts on this tumblr that I deleted. I can't guys. this is will be my last post about this series, even there's still anon who asking about Hatamaou, but no. To make it clear, this is the last thing I will post for Hataraku-Maousama.

But you know what? I'm going to make another fanfic. I'll make it up. And no. I won't make a fanfic where Emi and Maou end up together. No, I'm going to make a fanfic (with multiple chapters of course) about Alas-ramus and Emi, where they will live happily and perfectly, with other men, instead of Maou, who only could watches them from afar.

And for the first time I'm not doing this for Wagahara and this series, no. I do this so that at least, people who share the same feelings with me will feel a little justice. Thank you for ending this story Wagahara, now we will take Emi and Alas-ramus away. Since you didn't even mention her till the end of stories, then I guess you can't complain on this one.

Wagahara, you can deal with all those 145 haters on twitter, even if you said to rewrite your volume, no I wouldn't be that easy to believe you anymore.

So, beside about my fanfic, I'm not going to write anything more about Hataraku-Maousama again. I will only focus on the next story that I will follow, namely Dr Stone and Spy x family.

Even if I find a better story in the future, Emi Yusa will still be my only and only one favorite heroin...

So guys, for Emi, I'm going to start this fanfic. A fanfic where the lives of Emi and Alas-ramus improve after the appearance of another man in their lives, to the point of making Maou jealous but helpless to approach them again. because why not? Maou could easily forget about Chiho and go out with another woman in vol 21, being jealous of Emi and Alas-ramus is not a difficult thing.

So, in September, I will start making this fanfic.

The Hero and Her Child: Together Reaching Their Happiness

So, I'll say it from now on, in that fanfic, Maou won't end up with Emi, he will just be a character who might be as in Emi's position in vol 21? Or so much worst. And of course the character who will become MC in this fanfic are the character that appear on LN as well.

With the title:

The Hero and Her Child: Together Reaching Their Happiness

Coinciding when vol 21 ended, Emi's daily life with her daughter, Alas-ramus, became a little different after Alas-ramus entered her elementary school years. She, who saw the loneliness in her mother's eyes, tried to fill the emptiness in her mother's heart. One day, Alas-ramus's meeting with someone from the past changed their daily lives. But who would have thinking, the person who Alas-ramus thought would not interfere, instead became a great opponent she had to deal with! This is a story about the relationship of a mother and child!

And even though I'm still not sure about it....

A fanfic which I took from Hataraku-Maousama Highschool manga series; I will try to continue update that, since there is nothing wrong with the ending, and it is not a work by Wagahara either, so maybe I will continue it!

So for those who expecting maouemi, that's the last thing I can do. And I am not even sure, I'll updated that fanfic series where Maou and Emi in the Hataraku-Maousama highschool manga.

Because in that story, Maou is still a completely a nice person right?

Afterwards....

I'm sorry, friends, I love Alas-ramus and Emi too much, I don't want them to end up like this in the main series. But I am so done with Maou, I don't want to let him (hataraku maou version of vol 21) even to touch them. So I am sorry but I will not change my opinion about this, I hope you understand.

And also, thank you for your supporting me in this story, and sorry if I've led people to a false hope.

Thank you again for you guys who always be with me and the other Emi's fans! And please wait for the next content about Spy x family as well as Dr. Stone!

For this, I will say I am no longer fans of maouemi pairing in Hataraku-Maousama LN anymore. And I am not Hataraku-Maousama LN series fans anymore. Because of that, let's continue a new pages together as Emi's fans and Spy x Family, as well as Dr. Stone fans!

Bye, Minna! I will see you in the next time!

*Illustration from Mangaka of Hataraku-Maousama and no. I won't continue reading that manga as long as that Wagahara still meddling it plots

Edit: I am sorry guys. As what I said before, this is will be the last post for Hataraku-Maousama. Because of that, for everyone who sending me a questions, I won't answer any of them. Hope you guys understand. Thank you very much. 🙋

Edit again: Okay guys, I know it's very disappointed about Wagahara bait us and even still use this pairing as commercial reason. But please, if you want to give your opinion, don't use any harsh or rude comments such as death threats or something like that. or worst, even sent it to another illustrator from their new series. I read a review on bookwalker Japanese, even when they're unpleasant with the ending as well but they still use an appropriate words. there's a law for it and if Wagahara take it seriously, you will get a law for it. You must believe me I am understand your feelings, but please don't go too far. If you want to give your opinion, that's your choices I can't tell you what you must to do because I know you have a rights to so so, but please just at least use an appropriate words if you want to send it personally at Wagahara. Thank you and I hope we can get over and forget about it as soon as possible. 😧

[the-girl-from-another-time]

A List of My Absolute Favorite Fictional Men

Seriously. I want to marry each and every one of them (not that I’m advocating polygamy, of course). Now, in no particular order...

(Warning: Spoilers)

1. Inspector Rycroft Philostrate (Carnival Row)

This man. THIS MAN. I love him with my whole heart. He’s a bit rough around the edges, but he’s incredibly kind, compassionate, empathetic, and just, not to mention selfless to the point of stupidity. I have a thing for self-sacrificing heroes; you will notice a pattern. Philo takes responsibility for his own actions, from the huge, life-changing ones down to the little, trivial ones, and that is HOT. He’s a tortured, haunted soul, and yet all he seeks to do is save others from pain, despite his own hardship.

Favorite Moment: In episode two when he hears that Vignette’s employers want her arrested for breach of contract and he goes to the Spurnroses to buy her contract, thus freeing her. He never tells her what he did, never expecting any reward. He does it simply because he loves her—and because it’s right.

2. Commodore James Norrington (Pirates of the Caribbean)

James is literally a Jane Austen hero in a Disney movie. Enough said. He is one of the most underrated characters in the entire series. He’s a man of duty, of honor, of justice, but that never stops him from being a good (and very sassy!) human being. He loves Elizabeth Swann with all his heart and goes well out of his way, even risking his life, for her. When she chooses another man, he accepts it with grace and wishes them well, but he never stops protecting her even while expecting nothing in return. This man respects women and their decisions. Need I say more?

Favorite Moment: The deleted scene from TCotBP where he takes Elizabeth aside and tells her that she doesn’t have to marry him just to save Will, and that if she marries him, he wants it to be because she truly wants to. It establishes that he doesn’t want to force her into anything and that her opinions and feelings matter a great deal to him. The fact that this was deleted is a crime.

3. Obi-Wan Kenobi (Star Wars)

Ah, my middle school obsession. Those were the days. Sense of duty? Check. Honorable? Check. Responsible? Check. Compassionate? Check. Selfless? Check. Sassy? Check. Cinnamon roll with a tortured soul? Check. Beginning to notice what traits I value yet? Obi-Wan is such a genuinely good man who endures so much undeserved pain but never lets it steal his kindness. It triggers my Mama Bear instincts. Precious baby. Get him some tea and some therapy. He also never wavers from what is noble and good, even when faced with great pain and temptation. He’s quite possibly the greatest Jedi of all time.

Favorite Moment: Literally any time he’s being snarky. It’s glorious.

4. Aragorn (Lord of the Rings)

In truth, I could list almost every single male character in LOTR, but I shall refrain. If you don’t think Aragorn is perfect, you have questionable taste. Honestly. He’s kind, compassionate, humble, courageous, determined, responsible, loyal, and completely willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good. He’s the ideal leaders should seek to uphold. He always does what’s right, always resisting temptation, always doing what he believes to be best for others.

Favorite Moment: In the ROTK book when his true identity as Heir of Isildur is revealed to the people of Minas Tirith in the Houses of Healing because “the hands of the king are the hands of a healer.” That’s right—he’s an amazing warrior and brilliant military commander, but what’s most important, most definitive, is not warfare, but healing. That is absolutely beautiful.

5. Will Turner (Pirates of the Caribbean)

How can you NOT love this beautiful cinnamon roll? Look at him! Look at those puppy eyes! Will’s character development is both brilliant and heartbreaking—he goes from a shy, eager young man who can’t keep his heart out of his big brown eyes to a reserved and haunted man who’s lost almost everything he’s ever loved. Love—that’s Will’s defining trait. He can be a clueless idiot sometimes (the most lovable of clueless idiots), but all he does, he does for those he loves. Every choice he makes and action he takes is for those he loves and what he believes to be their best interests. Did I mention that he’s also kind, gentle, fearless, clever, and selfless? Much like James Norrington, even when he believes Elizabeth loves another man, his #1 priority is her happiness—even if it’s not with him. Again, respecting women’s choices is sexy!

Favorite Moment: If I HAD to narrow it down, I’d be a complete liar if I didn’t say the end of TCotBP when he finally confesses his love to Elizabeth, stands up for what he believes is right, and then they share a kiss as the sun sets behind them. PEAK ROMANCE TM.

6. Professor Remus Lupin (Harry Potter)

Remus doesn’t do much for me in the movies, but I am head-over-heels in love with him in the books. He’s such a genuinely kind person who’s always patient, gentle, caring, and understanding toward others, specifically students. More than that, he’s very level-headed, always the mediator in tense or difficult situations and always the one to comfort others. (Also, his solution to everything is chocolate, and that works for me). The fact that he sees himself as such a monster that he believes himself unfit to be a husband and father just breaks my heart. He’s such a wonderful human being and his death BROKE ME.

Favorite Moment: In the HBP book when Tonks confesses her feelings for him, insisting that she doesn’t care that he’s a werewolf, and he argues that he’s “too old for her, too poor ... too dangerous...” No trope gets me like the “older man thinks he’s too broken to be loved but younger woman breaks through his defenses and shows him he can be loved” trope. Self-sacrificing hero, much?

7. Colonel Brandon (Sense and Sensibility)

Honestly, I could list every single Jane Austen hero on here, but Colonel Brandon is my favorite. His quiet adoration of Marianne and steadfast devotion to her get me every time. The most wonderful thing is that he never presses her, never imposes his feelings upon her or asks her to do something she doesn’t want to do. She prefers Willoughby, and he accepts that but continues to help her when he can, never requiring anything in return. He does it all because he loves her, because her merest smile is reward enough. He never pushes her, but he also never gives up on her; when she ends up heartbroken, he supports her and helps her heal. Hmmm, have I mentioned that respecting women’s choices is pretty dang hot yet?

Favorite Moment: When Marianne goes out walking in the rain after Willoughby breaks her heart, and Brandon carries her unconscious, fevered body back to the house, subsequently dashing across the country to bring her mother to her.

8. Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings)

So, I know I said I wouldn’t include any more LOTR characters, but as it is, I lied. How can I NOT include Sam? Wonderful, darling Sam! A lowly, humble gardener who ends up on a quest to save the world and is in fact (arguably) the true hero. His friendship, loyalty, and determination never waver, despite all the immense hardships he endures along the way. He is called Samwise the Brave, but Steadfast would serve just as well. He’s the kindest, sweetest, most courageous and unlikely of heroes. He rarely has a bad word about anyone (unless it’s 100% true) and he never gives up, even when all seems lost. He understands that love is the most important thing of all.

Favorite Moment: In ROTK when they’re almost to Mount Doom and Frodo has no more strength to continue, so Sam declares, “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!” and he hoists Frodo onto his shoulders, even though he himself has little strength left, and carries him to the mountain. My heart! Makes me cry every time.

[borisbubbles]

28. ITALY

Diodato - “Fai Rumore”

And we’re back to our usual disconnect, where everyone pretends to love Italy and I don’t. I cannot wait for all the Italian crazies to be OUTRAGED by this ranking (28/41 is fine for an entry I don’t care about...?) and reblog this all over the tumblrverse and inflate my reader stats. 😈 but first, let’s discuss what we have on our hands here. 

Song Analysis

There’s no way this post *won’t* end up offensive to every Fai Rumore fan, so I will resort to brutal honesty. I never, ever, *ever* cared about “Fai rumore”. In fact, I’d even say it’s strongly overrated by the gross of the Eurovision fandom? 

Okay so here’s the deal. I will not deny that “Fai Rumore” has several things going for it. The song has emotional gravitas, Diodato has a great voice and acts very well. It’s technically precise and well produced. It is very competent at what it sets out to be, which is a very standard HQ Sanremo Power Ballad. 

But here’s where I feel like I deviate from the norm: You may think “wow Fai Rumore! How brilliant, meticulous and poised”, but I think “how expected, overtly earnest and unfun?” 

The problem is, this is Boris’s Bubble and Boris doesn’t enjoy songs that feel like they belong inside a trophy cupboard, and “Fai rumore” is exactly one of those songs, don’t lie. So “meticulous, poised and brilliant” you say, well *I* say “how overtly earnest, unfun and aloof”? I have a Spotify - if I wanted to listen to good music, I’d just use that? Or one of my like 15 Youtube Playlists containing non-ESC entries? Why would I watch Eurovision, or Sanremo for that matter, for the good music when there are so many other (and easier) options available for me that align better to my tastes?

The fact that “Fai Rumore” is *too* perfect for me (and therefore very hard to empathize with imo) is one thing, which leads to other thing I need to point out. I’ll let my friend Matthew take over here, who wrote this paragraph on ESCUnited right after Diodato’s selection: 

That final sentences is bone-chilling because it’s so, so true. “I AM A SOPHISTICATED MUSIC FAN BECAUSE I FOLLOW ~FESTIVALE DI SANREMO~” is such a common trope of elistism (like, replace “San Remo” with any quality newspaper, nobel prize winning author or classical music composer and you’ll find to be nearly universally applicable to snobs across the globe), but I find it specifically ugly in Eurovision.

You see, would the same courtesy be extended to a country of lower prestige if they got a Fai Rumore? Would the same courtesy be extended to a person of colour? or a woman? How about others songs that, like Fai Rumore, emulate their country’s musical traditions (Fai Rumore is SO italian you can smell the basil), except those traditions fall outside of the western European bubble? See, it doesn’t bother me that Italians like Fai Rumore and are proud of it. They’re Italians. Of course they are! I don’t judge them for it. I don’t rly care if the odd introvert finds solace in a song of this calibre. But as soon as Matthew made the aforementioned post, people who had previously rated Diodato as a 5/6 already started adjusting their scores to 10s and 12s and, well...

It bothers me that the same fanbase that DEMANDS cultural diversity (Diodato) and/or MOAR ETHNOBOPS (Efendi) refuse to accept a Solovey or an Origo -which are a thousandfold more layered, sophisticated and daring- as an equal. 

It bothers *even more* me that people are willing to immediately give Italy a plethora of chances (especially when they choose men! fuck institutionalised sexism!), while not doing the same for a Belarus. Belarus HAS no clear musical scene or funds to really produce good music, yet produced a ridiculously good NF (with a VERY righteous winner - yes, Chakras, but also: Chakras) I’ve seen snobs SLAM VAL, mercilessly despite being an excellent left-field pick (god imagine if Yan had won Eurofest for a sec. What a nightmare). Italy, otoh, also delivered a sterling NF, have *a VERY* rich musical tradition, tons of talent and money and production value... and they still went the lowest common denominator available, and yet they receive praise, without so much as a whisper of protest from our so-called “value seekers”. This level of hypocrisy and double standard wielding, all in the name of wishing to be taken seriously delivers *such* a toxic undercurrent to Eurovision and has absolutely soured me on Diodato. This isn’t his fault, but sadly he’s become a weapon of mass misconstruction and well just because I hate the guy who pressed the big red button more doesn’t mean I automatically like ICBMs. As we come near the songs I actually give a damn’ about, I will start calling the shitpociries out. Brace yourself for it, when I rank Solovey and Da Vidna inside my top five.

Want some examples specifically pertaining to the Diodato fandom? Sure, I’ll give you some:

EJEMPLO UNO: 

Diodato fanboys openly coddling him on social media post-lockdown all “PROTECT OUR POOR MUNCHKIN FROM THE CORONAVIRUS”. Like... he’s a *thirty-eight year old adult* he can take care of himself, BACK UP OFF HIM you freaks. 

EJEMPLO DOS: 

The relevant media having baptized Diodato as THE SAVING GRACE OF THE LOCKDOWN, ITALIANS SINGING ‘FAI RUMORE’ FROM THEIR BALCONIES IN DEFIANCE OF COVID-19, which is such a bullshit narrative it’s turned my hair from black to brown.  Yes, the Italians sang “Fai Rumore”. What they don’t tell you is that they also sang many other Italian and non-Italian songs, including humanitarian anthem “Roar” by Kety Perr (cue to Katy Perry being like “OMG I’M SO HONORED TO INSPIRE SO MANY ITALIANS ::hungarianflagemoji::” on twitter.). CNN Like, Eurovision related media LOVE portraying it as a ~life-chaning confort anthem~ - the reality is that “Fai rumore”, while playing its part, was merely a tiny spoke in a giant wheel. 

EJEMPLO QUATRO:

Well take a look at how many people will reblog this post and slam it for daring to point out, what I think are really obvious truths to anyone who doesn’t suffer from musical myopia. 

In the end, the song is okay and it’s okay to love it. But if you ‘love’ it because you’ve convinced yourself that you must, and not because it genuinely means something to you, I don’t think you have grounds to criticise to criticise anyone but yourself.

NF Corner

As I said, I didn’t follow San Remo live (I never do! *gasp* blasphemy, I know), but I did plan to check it for this write-up except RAI deleted every live performance? And they won’t let me embed the few remaining vids either? 

Anyway, this happened so right-click-open this a new tab and then return once you’ve finished it. 

Backstage feuds being fought out LIVE on the stage in front of millions of viewers 😍 Apparently Morgan and Bugo were at loggerheads for a while, and had a massive row RIGHT before their performance on the second night, which caused Morgan to stray from the script and sing all the insulting things Bugo told him *to Bugo* instead of the actual lyrics of their duet. 😍 😍 😍 Bugo IMMEDIATELY stormed off the stage to the point where Amadeus had to like... literally tell the gobsmacked audience that Bugo had left the building 😍 😍 😍. This is some god-tier pettiness and I’m completely in awe of it. DEITIES. 😍

aside from Sincerogate, I would’ve embedded vidoes that contained the DRAMA (Rancore), CAMP (Achille) and UNABASHED WEIRDNESS (Levante) of this year’s line-up, but I guess RAI really doesn’t like for people to have fun. Oh well. 

Italy 2020 vs Italy 2021

Diodato is male and Italian, so yeah, guaranteed top 10 in Rotterdam, no matter what happens. Search your feelings, you know it to be true. Cynicism aside, televoters WOULD have flocked to it without thinking twice (for exactly those two reasons), passing over many better entries in the process and well... I’m tired and exhausted and I think you can guess I am not very impressed by this likely outcome. 

Not sure what RAI’s strategy for 2021 is (lol it’s RAI - they don’t have a strategy. besides Italy have bigger fish to fry than the Eurovision Song Contest as you know), but I’m not very invested either way. I could imagine them internally selecting Diodato if he’s willing to do ESC in 2021, but if this was a one-off deal (which I think it was), they will probably select another plain white bloke for you to obsess over, so no worries :-) #TuttoVaPene

FREAKY! FRIDAY! FACTOR!

I’m sort of conflicted? On one hand, god Fai Ru*snore* is SO typical of “Italy in Eurovision”, not just from a musical perspective but from a point of reverence as well. On to the other hand, when are the fanbases *not* acting insane w/r/t Italy?

San Remo was  really crazy this year, enough for me to award Italy a couple Senheads. However... if I wanted to see nice and inoffensive triumph over a bunch of deranged, gimmicky, ott masterpieces, I’d just rewatch #London1977? (offensive take #16: “people that like Marie Myriam the most in 1977 do not understand Eurovision”) Ehhhh whatevs.

Score: 2 Senhits out of 5. 

[dalekofchaos]

Few simple changes that I think could've saved Solo A Star Wars Story as a movie

Just a few things I think could’ve improved Solo

Anthony Ingruber plays Han Solo.  He looks like Harrison Ford, he talks like Harrison Ford, and he even played a young Harrison Ford in the film Age of Adaline. Anthony Ingruber had even audition for the role of Han Solo and the fact he didn’t get it for a guy who had so much trouble, they needed to bring in an acting coach. Alden was so unconvincing as Han it was laughable. Anthony Ingruber was the perfect person to play Han and he should’ve been Han Solo. If Anthony played Han, it could’ve been as great as Donald’s take on Lando. 

Han Solo picks his own name. Han is a rebel without a cause. He doesn’t care where he came from, so a random Imperial Officer should not be given Solo his last name. This is Han’s story, he should tell the officer that he’s Han Solo. Han not calling himself Solo was a really bad sign.

No L3-37, Qi’Ra and no Maul. Qi’Ra derailed Han as a character(I’ll explain more later), L3 really served no purpose and her being inserted into the Falcon is both fridging and takes away from Han making the Kessel Run and Maul served no purpose to be in a movie about Han Solo when Han does not believe in the Jedi or the force

Replace Qi'Ra with Sana Starros. Danai Gurira plays Sana

Focus more on Han Solo as a character. The problem I had with the movie is it focuses on everyone but Han and was just showing how he gets his things

Keep in the Imperial Cadet deleted scene in. It shows Han is a good pilot, that Han wanted to do the right thing while his time in service, but the Empire cares more about equipment than lives. In a sense, Han begins as optimistic and happy before and during his time with the Imperials, and then when we meet him after he's been an Imperial for a while, he's thoroughly beaten down by it and that's what turned him into the cynical bastard we saw at the start of New Hope.

Change the Battle of Mimban to Battle Of Kashyyyk. Reason? This is where Han would save Chewie. I always loved the Legends take where Han's superiors wanted Chewie dead, but instead Han saves Chewie. So here, we would soon realize that the Empire is here to beat down a Wookie Rebellion. Han is tasked by his superior officer to kill the captured Chewnacca. Han chooses to save Chewie and stuns his superior officer. Han and Chewie flee the planet and that's when Beckett's crew picks up Han and Chewie

Han is mentored by Beckett and it makes him the callous and cold smuggler we know him to be in A New Hope. Their relationship is similar to Fast Eddie and Vincent in Color Of Money

With no Qi’Ra, Beckett’s connection to Vos would introduce us to Lando

Focus more on Han and Lando’s friendship. Show us why Han and Lando have a strong friendship, show don’t tell. Have Han and Lando being smugglers in arms. And finally Lando would not leave he would patch himself up and return to help Han in the end. We really needed to see why Han sees so much reverence in his friendship to Lando in ESB. What we got from Solo makes Lando’s betrayal unsurprising. We needed to see why Lando was willing to sacrifice an old friendship to save Bespin from the Imperials, the emotional weight of Han and Lando’s friendship wasn’t there in the movie, it needed to be there so their friendship should’ve been one of the core elements of the movie.

Make Dryden Vos more of a legit threatening villain. Paul Bettany used to play really fucking evil gangster characters and that’s what I was hoping Dryden was going to be playing, but he was barely there. Make him cruel, and a clear danger. Prior to the meeting, show him execute an underling for insubordination and have him say “sorry for the mess”  and show us that Beckett is in a horrible debt that he can’t seem to get out of, a mirror of Han and Jabba’s relationship in the future

The heist would be to steal Coaxium from a complex security vault on Kessel

Han and Sana would get “married” as a pretense for the big heist, while Lando and Chewie make the big score. 

Han would make the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs on his own. Han needed to make the Kessel Run on his own. Having a droid being part of why he made the Kessel Run takes away the great feat that Han made and brags about in ANH. It shows he’s a great pilot and has what it takes. That’s kinda what we needed to see.

Beckett sells everyone out to Vos as per canon

When Vos has Han at his mercy, Lando comes to make the save and they kill Vos together

Han shoots Beckett first. But not because it was right or because of the money. Because Han saw it coming. Han learned everything from Beckett. Beckett would say “I would’ve done the same thing, kid.” and Han would say “I had a great teacher.” There needed a slight moral conundrum. Han respects Beckett and has learned a lot from him, but also knows that he absolutely can not be trusted and will inevitably kill Han without a care in the world if it means Beckett gets a better deal.

Han would only give Enfys Nest the Coaxium in exchange for a reward. So Enfys would give Han, Lando, Sana and Chewie enough stolen money the Marauders acquired throughout the years to be the perfect reward. Enfys asks Han to join the Rebellion, but Han makes it clear he’s in it for the money

The movie would end with Han and Lando playing Sabacc for the Falcon, maybe tweak it a little so it’s both a dice and card game, so that way Han uses the Dice we would see in TLJ to win the Falcon. This way it makes way more sense as to why Leia and Ben would feel emotional over the dice. It’s the lucky Dice that won the Falcon, it brought Han and Leia together and it’s something worth Ben feeling emotional about instead of Han’s jilted ex lover’s dice 

Han should end the film leaving him as a guy who is mostly only going to get involved in capers due to the money. So that we can still make sense of the scene in ANH in which he takes the money and leaves (on Yavin) but only afterwards has a strike of conscience and returns to help Luke.

Solo wasn’t really a bad movie, I think it is a fun movie with great potential. The problem is they focused more on the future and not in the now, a movie about Han Solo does not focus on Han Solo and it’s not necessary at all and the story is very forgettable, and it really is just a cash grab. There is nothing remarkable about the movie and the only two characters who stand out as 100% only enjoyable to me are Enfys Nest and Lando. The rest of the characters just feel like unnecessary adds or barley passable imitations. So these are ways I would change Solo to make it a great movie

They made the movie about everything BUT Han Solo and their attempts to make Han a good man just betrays the character we knew in A New Hope. The reason why I chose to cut out Qi'Ra is because Han Solo having a love interest in my opinion was a pretty poor choice. Han Solo was always implied to be a loner before Leia came into his life. His name is SOLO. Han is a criminal smuggler, if anything he would've been sleeping around like Captain Kirk, especially Han in his 20's. Hell, in a deleted scene for ANH, Han basically has a small fling in the Cantina. As a matter of fact, showing that he was this intimate with someone before Leia takes a little bit of the mystique away from their relationship in later movies. I also felt like Han and Leia worked because they were the only ones who would get under each other's skins, but with here, Han and Qi'ra are just kind of in a relationship at the beginning and it's like "oh we don't even know these people" seeing him so deeply affected over another woman makes Han Solo comes across as a little bit more vulnerable than the Han we met in A New Hope.

Also why even have Qi'Ra when it's established that Han already had a wife in canon? Kathleen Kennedy sure does love her white Brunnettes doesn't she?

As for Maul. Does it need saying? Maul died in Rebels and bringing him back was pointless since mainstream audiences do not know that he survived. Also Han does not believe in the force and believes a blaster is superior to a Lightsaber

This whole movie shows a far more human Han, he's shown to be somewhat empathetic and sympathetic of others. He gives too much of a damn, there's a time or two in Solo where Han chooses to do what's right as opposed to what's right for him, he does jobs without looking for a real reward and that's just not Han Solo. In this movie it's clear that Han has a moral compass, whereas in the original trilogy, he was a lot more morally ambiguous and it was through Luke and Leia's influence and place in life that he began to become good. In A New Hope he had to constantly be reassured that he was going to be preciously rewarded. This completely destroys Han's arc in the original trilogy as this movie implies that Han was always a good guy.

[romewritingshop]

Wake up Parker! - Chapter 3: Meeting Independence

Relationship: Peter Parker x Tall Older Reader (Peter is 22 and Reader is 26/27)

Warnings: Mention of sex

Word Count Total: 2136 (This Chapter)

Summary: Peter Parker is a student in the city of Brooklyn. He’s lazy, spoilt and he procrastinates a lot. He meets a woman named (Y/N), She’s recently moved to Brooklyn for an independent life. Something Peter is fascinated by. Over the course of a few months, Peter needs to realise that he has to grow up and become responsible for his life.

Tagged: @bggerbtch​

WAKE UP PARKER! MASTERLIST

The party was a slow disappointment. There were ridiculous decorations of silver streamers and gold balloons. Most of the people were partying and dancing to some old songs from 2005. This was not a college party, it was a snooze fest. Even the sign was sad: Class of 2019. It’s lights flickered and told Peter that he wasted his time. Peter held his camera and took various photos. He got a really good one of Wanda’s grumpy face. Wanda was trying to micromanage the party and it was not going her way. She stood on the stage with a childish pout as her opportunity to do a speech was thwarted.

Michelle came and left because she had to work the next day. Peter shook his head at the serious Michelle. All people talked about was what they were going to do now that college was finished. One was training to be in the Brooklyn Police Department. Another was going to try their hand at Miss America. Peter rolled his eyes at the talk of the future. Why bother? Peter always focused on the present because it was a headache to worry about what to do next. The present has so much to offer. Peter watched a sickening exchange between Ned and Betty. He was trying to sweet talk Betty into staying longer and Betty walked off. Both of them were wearing matching T-Shirts with love written on them.

Peter stepped out of the party hall and into the corridor. He noticed a girl sat in the doorway of the building entrance. Her hair was shielding Peter’s view and Peter held his camera and watched the girl through the lens. Slowly turning around and approaching the girl from the front. She was writing down something in a diary.

Peter took a picture and the light flashed. Peter cursed inside, having forgotten that he left the flash on. The girl glanced up and gave Peter a clear view of her face. Her eyebrows were furrowed and her nose was scrunched slightly, poking at Peter. Her diary had disappeared into a bag beside her.

“Hey! I don’t remember giving permission for a photo.”

“I’m sorry, it looked like a good picture moment.”

“Well don’t. It’s a little creepy.”

Peter turned his camera to show the girl that he deleted the photo.

“I’m sorry. I’ve deleted it. But, you look really nice in the photo.”

“Maybe some other time.”

The girl gave a nod and Peter sat down next to her. The girl was dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a cream coloured camisole under a dark black open shirt. She had a black and red shoulder bag over her right shoulder and a light denim jacket. She did not look like a student from their college. Peter would have recognised her.

“You're not from my college, are you?”

“Sorry but no.”

“Thought as much. You look a little older than this crowd.”

The girl smiled and shook her head at this boy. Parties weren’t really her scene but she was dragged to come along. She managed to sneak out and sit here, get some writing done. Until this boy decided to join her. She knew the boy wasn’t trying to sound rude about her.

“Thanks for the compliment! Only a little older I hope.”

Peter gave a nod and wondered why she was here.

“So what are you doing at this party?”

“I came along with some girls earlier. This girl Wanda, she's one of the organizers and -”

Peter’s face creased up at the mention of Wanda. Always being everywhere as he stood up.

“Wanda! You came here with Wanda!?”

The girl frowned as she stood up. She was a couple of inches taller than the boy. What was so wrong with Wanda?

“Yeah. Anything wrong with that?”

“Oh man, if she sees you with me, she'll -”

Peter turned back to see Wanda with two red cups. Her eyes darted between Peter and her friend. Peter of all people had to be with (Y/N). She scoffed and strutted away from Peter. Peter sighed, while (Y/N) watched this hateful exchange. How bad was this boy that Wanda wouldn’t even give (Y/N) a drink.

“Ok, so you want to explain what that was?”

“I don’t know. I haven’t done anything. She's the one with the problem. Anyways, you’re in better hands. My company is way better than hers.”

“Is that so?”

“Totally!”

“We’ll see about that.”

The both of them headed back into the party to grab a drink since (Y/N)’s drink disappeared with an angry Wanda. The pair of them were by the punch bowl as (Y/N) poured herself and Peter some fruit punch.

“So, Mr. Photographer what do you do?”

“Me? I shop. Play video games. Spend my adopted dad's money.”

(Y/N) shakes her head at this simple answer.

“I mean what do you plan on doing after college? Unless you’ve still got another few years to go.”

“Oh! No, this is my last year. I plan on playing video games and spending my adopted dad's money. What about you? What do you do?”

“Well, for the moment I'm new to New York. I’m here to earn my own money.”

“Oh? How are you liking New York so far?”

“Actually I haven't seen much yet. I got off the plane and rested in Wanda’s apartment before she brought me here.”

Peter frowned. This girl came from far, just to attend this party. He knew Wanda was boring but he never knew that she would be a disappointment as well.

“Wait a minute. You got here today! And of all the places you could have gone to, you came to this boring college party?”

(Y/N) smiled and pretended to wipe a tear from her eye.

“I know it is disappointing. I didn’t have a choice to sleep.”

“I thought Wanda was your friend.”

“She is. I wasn’t that jet lagged and there wasn’t much to do. Also it feels a little too late to go anywhere else.”

Peter huffed a laugh. Honestly, where was this girl from? Did she know she was in New York? The city that never sleeps!

“Well, Miss Alien, you’re in Brooklyn, New York. It's never late here. It’s the city that never sleeps. And I’ll tell you the city is at its best at night. It’s more alive and vibrant. You should have been exploring out there right now.”

(Y/N) shoves Peter’s shoulder playfully. 

“I’m not an alien! And you think you’re such an expert in Brooklyn, let's go for a walk, then.”

"A walk?"

"Yeah."

"When?"

"Now. What better way than now?"

Peter shrugged and agreed simply walking forward. (Y/N) was about to follow when she realised what was going on. She, a lone girl, was about to go to a random place with this male stranger. Surely the boy might have ulterior motives. Nonetheless (Y/N) had a need to clear the air. They were just in the corridor outside the party hall when (Y/N) stopped Peter. 

"One second, hold on. Just so we're clear, we are just going on a walk."

Peter furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. That's literally all they were going to do. Unless she had bright ideas. 

"Just a walk, unless you have a better idea."

"Actually, I just don't want to give you the wrong idea."

"But it was your idea."

Honestly why was this girl backing out? Whereas (Y/N) shook her head at the naivety of this boy. Did he really not understand where she was going with this?

"I know, but I don't even know you and -"

"I don't know you either. But let's change that: Hi, I'm Peter Parker."

Peter held out his hand to the girl and she grabbed his hand and shook it. Both noted that the other had really soft warm hands.

"(Y/N) (L/N). Just so we're clear, Peter. We are just going on a walk. I'm not going to sleep with you."

Peter's eyes widened at this proclamation. It had not even crossed Peter's mind and here was (Y/N) trying to insinuate Peter had bad intentions. He really didn't.

"Whoa! When did I say that I wanted to sleep with you? It didn't even cross my mind."

(Y/N) shook her head in disbelief. She really did choose the dumbest guy.

"Oh come on, be honest. You meet a girl at a party, sweet talk her and you're leaving with her in five minutes. Of course it crossed your mind!"

"Honestly, it didn't. But I get where you're coming from (Y/N). I promise to be a perfect gentleman."

(Y/N) states cautiously at Peter. So far he hasn't been a complete douche or pervert. Apart from the photo thing; but he was polite in that situation. So she's willing to give him a chance. Plus he's got that sweet innocent look on his face that makes (Y/N) want to trust him. Peter is one of the first guys, in her life, she hasn't had a first bad impression.

"Okay then. Lead the way, Peter."

Peter smiled and he led (Y/N) out of the party hall and onto the street. It was a little quiet but a few turns and they were near the Brooklyn Borough Hall. It was peaceful and beautiful. The weather was a nice warmth with an occasional cool breeze. (Y/N) absorbed the scenery as couples strolled by and joggers were walking their dogs. (Y/N) felt she had made the right decision. Peter, however, was concerned for (Y/N) as she talked about herself.

"Really? You don't have any friends here? Family?"

"No."

"A job?"

"Not yet."

"Did you run away from home?"

(Y/N) let out a soft laugh at Peter's confusion. Peter was stunned by (Y/N)'s free spirit. How could she be in a big city alone and without a job? Peter could not get his head around it.

"Why Brooklyn?"

"To meet you!"

"Serious (Y/N). Why come to Brooklyn?"

"Seriously, I just want to be independent. I'm from a small town, Peter. I've lived there all my life. I wanted to give my life a new direction, so I came here. To try something new."

"Like a holiday?"

"No Peter. Not like a holiday ... like ... life! Just trying and exploring new things. Looking after yourself. Cooking your own food; making and spending your own hard earned money; to love a life you've made for yourself? A feeling of independence and accomplishment. Do you get what I'm saying?"

Peter honestly drew a blank. He had no clue what (Y/N) was on about. It sounded like a lot of hard work and Peter felt a little glad that he had Mr and Mrs. Stark with him. (Y/N) noticed the blank expression on Peter's face. He was a little young as Peter expressed his concerns.

"What are you going to do for work then?"

(Y/N) reached into her bag and pulled out a magazine with a picture of a male model jogging in a park. It had 'Brooklyn Nights' in a funky graffiti style across the top. She handed it to Peter.

"Do you know this magazine?"

"Brooklyn Nights. Of course! It has great photographs!"

"And strong articles too. I'm going to their office in a few days, for an interview."

Peter remembered that she was writing in a small diary.

"Ah, of course! That diary at the party. You're a writer, aren't you?"

"Well, not professionally. But soon, I hope."

(Y/N) loved writing. Sure it could be a nightmare but once, she had an idea, she would get a lot of work done. All this time walking and talking, she realised she hasn't found out much about Brooklyn.

"So Peter, the expert of Brooklyn, tell me something about the place."

Peter completely forgot he was showing (Y/N) around Brooklyn. Her words of independence struck a deep resonance within him. He didn't understand what she was saying yet it had the most impact on Peter's mind. He noticed a bright smile on her face when she talked about being independent. Peter wanted to know more but he had to focus on the task at hand. The tour.

"Depends on what would you like to know?"

"If there was one place in Brooklyn, you could show me tonight, what would that be?"

Peter thought hard before finally coming up with the best place. Peter always came there for photographs and thinking time. It's been a while since Peter's gone there. It was the perfect place for (Y/N) to experience Peter's heart of Brooklyn. He flagged down a taxi which was passing on the road to the left of them.

"I've got one place, which really sums up Brooklyn and New York."

The both of them got into the cab and Peter gave directions for Empire Fulton Ferry Park.

CHAPTER 4: FIRST FRIEND IN BROOKLYN

[brynwrites]

Last week I posted about @byjillianmaria’s new book, The Songbird’s Refrain. 

Click the link or read below!

Last Tuesday was the book birthday of Jillian Maria’s debut, the stunning supernatural suspense The Songbird’s Refrain!

I had the privilege of reading this story while it was still in its earlier beta stages, and it’s been a joy to watch it grow from a not-so-shitty rough draft to an absolute piece of art.

So if you’re looking for an awesome, creepy YA with some good old fashion gal pals growing magical life-stealing feathers, you’re in for a treat!

PURCHASE THE SONGBIRD’S REFRAIN

ADD THE SONGBIRD’S REFRAIN ON GOODREADS

ABOUT THE BOOK

When a mysterious show arrives in town, seventeen-year-old Elizabeth Brighton is both intrigued and unsettled. But none of the acts capture her attention quite like the blue-eyed woman. Locked in a birdcage and covered in feathers, the anguish in her voice sounds just a little too real to be an act—because it isn’t. The show’s owner, a sadistic witch known only as the Mistress, is holding her captive.

And she’s chosen Elizabeth as her next victim.

After watching the blue-eyed woman die, Elizabeth is placed under the same curse. She clings to what little hope she can find in the words of a fortune teller and in her own strange dreams. The more she learns, the more she suspects that the Mistress isn’t as invulnerable as she appears. But time is against her, and every feather that sprouts brings her closer to meeting the blue-eyed woman’s fate. Can Elizabeth unlock the secret to flying free, or will the Mistress’s curse kill her and cage its next victim?

MY PERSONAL REVIEW

This book is a blast, with a hint of creepy, a dose of suspense, and a nice dollop of fluffy wlw.

Despite nearly the entire story taking place in the same basic location, the plot never feels slow or aimless. The mystery is engaging, constantly pulling the reader forward with new hints. The MC goes through a wonderful character arc and is very easy to root for, the villain is just as easy to love to hate, and all the side characters have interesting personalities and impact the plot. The prose is generally simplistic, with some minor disruptions like repeated words, but holds great, impactful lines as well.

Overall, a wonderful fall read, with a heavy focus on healthy relationships, believing in one’s self, and choosing love.

INTERVIEW WITH THE AUTHOR

Jillian was awesome enough to answer a few questions for me…

Where did you first get the idea or inspiration for this novel?

The earliest version of this novel was actually a fanfiction! But it’s changed a lot since then–the entire bird/feather motif didn’t exist, there were a lot more characters who didn’t really contribute anything, the love stories were less fleshed out. I think the biggest changes happened from around the 70% mark onward, but everything’s changed a little bit.

Where and when do you typically write? Do you have any pre-writing exercises or habits that help you get into the mood?

I tend to write after dinner, but lately I’ve been sneaking in more writing on my lunch break, too. I don’t really have any habits or exercises, but I do tend to schedule my day in advance, so I always know exactly when I’m writing. Generally I dedicate the 7:30-8:30 block to writing, although sometimes it gets moved around. And on weekends, I’ll schedule more writing time.

Who was your favorite side character to write in The Songbird’s Refrain?

It’s really hard to pick a favorite! They were all super fun in their own way. Maybe Violet, though. She probably had the easiest voice out all of them to write, and required very little editing. Just deleting an f-word here and there when she decided she needed to use three in one sentence.

If you had to set The Songbird���s Refrain in a popular alternate universe (like the world of Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, the Hunger Games, etc), which would you choose and how would your characters fit in there?

Oh, gosh, what a great question! I definitely know my character’s Hogwarts Houses, so… let’s go with that. Elizabeth is a tiny shy hufflepuff with a crush on the cute Ravenclaw girl who is always reading romance novels and doting on her cat, but doesn’t get the courage to talk to her until a mysterious threat arrives, wearing a dark mark and a red dress… I don’t know, something like that!

What’s something (or multiple somethings) you wish you’d known about writing before you’d started The Songbird’s Refrain?

You’re going to wind up changing lots of things during the drafting process, so don’t worry so much about sentence structure until you’re relatively certain you’re going to keep that chapter the way that it is! Seriously, I could have saved so much time..

Do you have a new project you’re working on now that The Songbird’s Refrain is approaching publication?

There is, but I’m not sure if I’m going to publish it under the Jillian Maria name, so I’m keeping it a secret 😉 But my next big Jillian Maria project is going to be another f/f YA novel about two girls hunting treasure in a small town forest! Technically this is a second draft, but I’m changing some pretty major plot elements and it’s got me really excited. I’ve got it outlined and about one-and-a-half chapters properly drafted right now, and am hoping it’ll be ready for its first round of beta readers after that!

What are you most proud of in regards to The Songbird’s Refrain, whether that be a skill you picked up while writing it or a scene you didn’t think you could conquer, etc?

I think that the themes of the book are really solid. I’m really proud of how everything sort of ties together in the end, because that’s something I really admire in other writers but always have a hard time replicating. It took several drafts, but I think it got there! Also, Chapter 28 always makes me cry. I think that’s a pretty big accomplishment.

While The Songbird’s Refrain is an amazing book, there’s always more to be learned as a writer! Is there something you’re working on improving in your writing right now?

Pacing is always a struggle of mine, so that’s something I think I’ll be working on indefinitely, from now until the end of time. I’d also like to make my writing process a little shorter–it took many, many drafts to get The Songbird’s Refrain to where it is now, and I’d like to improve as a writer so that I can get more polished drafts on the first or second try.

Can we get a picture of you and your writing buddy Sadie? 🙂

Of course! As you can see, she is very helpful.

Jillian Maria enjoys tea, pretty dresses, and ripping out pieces of herself to put in her novels. She writes the books she wants to read, prominently featuring women who are like her in some way or another. A great lover of horror, thriller and mystery novels, most of her stories have some of her own fears lurking in the margins. When she isn’t willing imaginary people into existence, she’s pursuing a career in public relations and content marketing. A Michigan native, Jillian spends what little free time she has hanging out with her friends, reading too much, singing along to musical numbers, and doting on her cat.

You can find her on goodreads and her website.

[poipoi1912]

Carisi-centric thoughts on Ep 19x08

Here we go.

Disclaimer: I will try to remain objective. Be warned lol. My undying love for Barisi influences my fic, of course, but I try to analyze the actual episodes as realistically as I can. (if by “realistically” you mean “realistic-ish while always allowing for the possibility of Barisi)

Overall Thoughts

I really enjoyed the case. Even if we've seen it all before (wasn't there an episode with Kevin Pollack and an Eyes Wide Shut situation? Where he was a judge and he genuinely thought a woman wanted to be raped?). The double catfish element was sort of new, I guess. I did also like all the performances, even if the female perp was written in a stereotypical way. And I appreciated the guy's attitude, and the contrast between his appearance and his mild behavior, but also the contrast between someone seemingly sweet and someone who would act out a rape fantasy no questions asked, i.e. without making sure the woman was consenting, at least in person. I don't know if the writers intended that last part or if I'm reading too much into it, though.

That said, deep down I wish he'd had an attorney like Rita or Buchanan, because they'd never let him plead guilty and we'd witness another awesome trial about that aspect of the case (though I did love his actual lawyer, whom he did not listen to). Still, it's nice to see a decent if flawed person doing the right thing, SVU used to do that a lot in the early seasons. I believed that the guy was conflicted about it, at least, so that entire scene worked for me. I also appreciated that the victim's trauma wasn't instantly healed in the end. It felt more real. So the overall idea of the episode was solid (if unoriginal), and the execution was very good.

The Rollisi Corner

First thing I need to get off my chest: Sonny clearly bought coffee and breakfast for Amanda the morning after, hopefully to go with his apology, and then, when he saw the bartender leaving her room, he turned around and left and hE DIDN'T GIVE HER THE COFFEE??? OR THE FOOD??? Like she didn't deserve his croissants because she had sex with another guy? WHAT A DICK.

OK, onto my analysis.

The Facts

So, Sonny and Amanda get visibly drunk, they get in a bar fight which excites them both, because they enjoy punching people I guess (is that a thing?), and then Sonny tries to hook up with her, but Amanda awkwardly nopes the fuck out of there before hooking up with the guy she flirted with earlier. I'm with them so far.

There are multiple and equally valid interpretations for these actions. Maybe Sonny was vulnerable after his deleted break up, maybe he's been harboring feelings for Amanda for a while, maybe he was just hyped up after the fight and he wanted to casually let off some steam thinking Amanda would be up for that, maybe Amanda is open to that but didn't want to start anything while they were kinda drunk, maybe she was weirded out because she wasn't expecting it and she doesn't see Sonny like that, maybe she was unsure but horny, because that bar fight got her going, so she called that bartender, maybe she was really into the bartender and she had decided to sleep with him long before Sonny's proposition. Fine.

My problem starts after that.

In my view (which, going by the tags, is shared by many), Sonny should have apologized to Amanda the next day. For the drunkenness alone. For possibly making things weird between them. For getting caught up in the moment and hitting on her like that, instead of talking to her about his feelings (whatever they may be) or even (gasp!) asking her out. In fact, that's what I was expecting. That's how I thought they would get Rollisi going. By Sonny apologizing and Amanda jokingly saying she didn't want to "take advantage” of him in his drunken state, but leaving the door open for something in the future. Basically I was looking for a sweet interaction to show that Sonny has actual feelings for Amanda, as opposed to just wanting to sleep with her, and she's maybe willing to entertain that notion, just not yet. Neither of which happened.

Instead, the show chose to put a stop to it, before it even started. Instead, Sonny got jealous, and weirdly entitled if not territorial, and he started acting all petulant in front of a suspect, not to mention in the middle of the precinct, to the point where Amanda had to call him out on it. Of course I get why he would be hurt (and I was totally expecting some adorable sad sack moping lol) or even offended (because his fragile male ego couldn’t handle the fact Amanda chose to sleep with someone else), but why would he let that affect his working relationship with Amanda? Hasn’t he never heard of putting on a brave face? Has he no dignity? Conceal, don’t feel, Sonny!

My Thoughts

On one hand, I feel this could have been handled a lot better, by giving us a good idea about where their heads are at. Instead of leaving us totally wondering about their potential feelings, romantic or sexual or nothing at all, this could have been something heartwarming, something meaningful and consistent with Sonny and Amanda's prior supportive and friendly relationship. Like, imagine if he had sweetly tried to kiss her at her place, while making dinner. Perfectly adorable, and perfectly in character (and, yes, maybe a little too Hallmark, which I would have preferred over the soapy methods the writers chose to employ). And they could have still had that awkward "um, nope" moment afterwards, perhaps interrupted by Jesse crying or something.

Or, even in this random context (out of town, drunk, high on adrenaline), imagine if Amanda had sternly told Sonny to keep his feelings separate from the job, but also that she values his friendship and she needs some time because this is new territory for her (valuing a dude lol). That would have told us that there’s a real connection, as opposed to a simple possibility for a hook-up, if Amanda ever feels like it, and if Sonny’s ego isn’t too bruised to accept.

On the other hand, this is a heterosexual SVU relationship (the only type of relationship allowed apparently), and drunken messiness and awkwardness and weird aggression is the only way those seem to ever happen on this show (see Rollaro, Bensler). So I get it. I don't get why Amanda had to sacrifice (thankfully only) some of her progress (enjoying drunken bar fights? That's so S15 and it also made me miss Amaro, her OG bar fight sidekick) or why Sonny, a character who hadn't displayed similar traits, had to suddenly change to fit that mold. Then again, maybe the change was not so sudden. Sonny hasn't been Sonny in like 2 years 👀

I suppose I always thought that, if Rollisi were to ever start, it would be different by default. For Amanda's sake (and I've posted about this in the past). I thought it'd be about feelings, not misplaced lust. Like, not to diss Sonny, but he ain't no Amaro. "Unresolved Sexual Tension" doesn't quite work when Sonny is involved, you know? No matter how good he looks in a henley. Which was especially evident when Amanda flirted with that bartender. There was a clear physical component to that brief interaction. With Sonny, there was awkwardness. He tried to move in, Amanda pulled away, and he laughed it off like it was dumb of him to even try. No heat. But that's fine, too. I just thought a potential "moment” would take that under consideration. That sweetness.

I certainly wasn't expecting Sonny to make a move while drunk, and then suddenly get all passive aggressive, and then get rewarded for it in a weird "so you're telling me there's a chance" moment which did nothing to inform us of anybody's feelings, if any even exist. Especially considering his totally ambivalent expression in the end. Amanda has always been a straight shooter. And Sonny has always been respectful. Why not take advantage of their actual personality traits and dynamic, instead of writing in a contrived bar fight, a drunken almost hookup and the awkward aftermath? This is a little too blurry for me, and it just might suggest that the point of that side-plot was to show that Sonny and Amanda are not going to go there, at least not for a while. The hot bartender’s inclusion specifically, it was unnecessarily soapy (no reason why Amanda couldn’t just turn Sonny down and go to sleep), and it served no other purpose but to kill the momentum between them.

Speaking of, Amanda's whole "people have sex" speech kinda framed their situation weirdly. I'd like to think that her sleeping with someone wasn't Sonny's problem (it better not have been!). His problem was that he was confused, and possibly jealous, and self-conscious. So why did Amanda purposely choose not to address the real reason he was being annoying? Why did she act like Sonny was judging her out if some misplaced sense of morality? (By the way, I truly don’t believe that the show was suggesting that Sonny only has sex out of pure love and that's why he was judging Amanda in the year of our lord 2017. I have a different theory about that conversation.)

My Predictions

Is it possible that Amanda was trying to avoid talking about it altogether? Did she maybe want to cool things off, and twist the argument around, and steer Sonny toward a more manageable direction, one less uncomfortable for her?  “Don’t judge me” as opposed to “yes, I rejected you”? For the sake of their working relationship, since Sonny seemed fully intent on perpetually moping? Maybe she decided that acting like she might one day sleep with him was the best way to keep things cordial between them? If so, yikes. 👀👀👀

Personally, however, I choose to fanwank that Sonny was not so much petulant but moreso embarrassed, after a rejection which possibly forced him to reconsider is own behavior, and the reasons why he may have misread the situation. I also choose to believe that Amanda cleverly used teasing and joking as a more palatable way to set Sonny straight and to press pause (at the very least) on whatever almost happened between them, because she's not willing to go there, or else she would have done it.

Anyway. Let's see if and how this progresses. In about 15 episodes, if and when the show remembers this even happened. My guess is, that talk was supposed to end the awkwardness but also kill the "what if", and Sonny and Amanda are going to interact normally for the forseeable future.

Barba Thoughts

We sure got a nice amount of Barba this week (all things considered), and I sure loved it! I always prefer the episodes where police work only gets them so far, and they need a Barba assist to win the case. And this wasn't a rabbit out of Barba's hat, by the way. This was a legitimate interrogation. I loved seeing him so confidently getting the job done. It had been a while since we got a longer trial, and this case was interesting enough to sustain it, so I'm glad we got to see it. Raul was fantastic in that moment, by the way. As always. Selling that "compassion” while making it perfectly clear he didn’t believe any of the victim-blamey things he had to say to get Heather to crack? That was masterful. I love him.

The Barisi corner

"Tell Rafael not to worry" :D

Barba's sweet face when he saw Sonny :D

"Hey!" :D

Sonny's eager face when he delivered the slam dunk Barba needed, his eyes literally hanging off of Barba's lips, waiting for approval? :DDDD

Barba's joy because Sonny brought him something juicy he could use to win the case? :DDDDDDD

I love their love :')

Stray Thoughts

So Noah gets kidnapped by Sheila and we don't even get to see her twirl her mustache? Come on now! I want my money's worth. I sat through the boring grandma scenes, I'm gonna need to see Brooke Shields go full-on villain. I can't wait for the "reveal" that she has him.

Guys, is a bar fight, like, a good thing? Is it actually fun? Was I supposed to be rooting for anybody in that scene? I wouldn't know, violence just doesn’t do it for me.

Does anyone remember that Amanda has a kid (a toddler, by now? I think?). Are they really sending her to spend the night in West Virginia without anyone offering to cover for her? I guess that's what happens when you're short-staffed and Fin gives zero fucks. Still, they could have at least let Amanda mention having to get an overnight baby sitter, or even say something like “I love my kid, but it’s fun to remember what it was like when I was carefree” etc. Does Jesse even exist anymore, or is Noah the only child in the Tri-state area now?

Barba's hair!

Sonny in a henley!

Cauliflower ear! Nice attention to detail.

Brooke Shields is a good actress. I enjoy her scenes with Benson, Mariska is really good in them as well. I just wish the writing wasn't so trite.

This was yet another episode where a psychiatrist would have been useful. Heather didn't look like she was all there. I was waiting for Huang to pop in and suggest she wasn't competent to stand trial.

The sleazy defense attorney handing Benson his business card was a flawless character moment. Straight out of the early seasons.

Sonny: These influencers are the voice of Gen Z

me: please stop

Fin: Don't people know porn's free these days?

me: i love you

Fin: I'm allergic to West Virginia

me: I LOVE YOU

[thebrochtuarachs]

Recap on 3x09: The Doldrums

I loved this transition episode and this might be my favorite episode so far the entire season!!! (Yes, probably more over the reunion episode)  

P.S. I’ve stopped reading the “Voyager” so that I don’t really know what to expect in the coming episodes. I’ll re-read once the season is over. This is exciting. 

1. INTRO CHANGES ARE AMAZING!!! That African remix in the theme song plus the new footages are just adds so much more intrigue on what’s going to happen in the next half of the season! I mean, The greenery, the sea, the shipwreck, Jamaica, Turtle Soup? I can’t even already and it’s just the start of the episode. 

2. I honestly had no idea what “doldrums” mean. 

3. Oh, they didn’t show the passage to France,well, we need to run the story fast so I’m fine with it. It so nice to see Jared again. I wonder how much richer he’s gotten since his main rival in the business is gone. 

4. Young Ian can be sold as long as he doesn’t get into trouble…well, let’s cross our fingers for this one.

5.  Tension still there between Jamie and Claire. Despite the fact, he still allows himself to be vulnerable to Claire, even confessing that God maybe punishing him for wanting it all too much. I love this character development. Moreover, I actually love this tension more than when they getting to know each other in S1. Sam and Cait have nailed being an “older, married” couple without losing their sexiness and chemistry. 

6. James Fraser is totally unreal and we shall all swoon about it. Here’s a man confessing his love but still willing to let his woman go (will even escort her back personally!) if it’s what she wants. Claire, on her end, knows she won’t leave Jamie but doesn’t want to tell him yet (cheeky! get the men on their heels, joke!). But with her coming with Jamie, I assume she accepts the man he is now for the man she knew once before? ;) I mean, I understand why parting this time maybe more okay cause at least they both know that each other lives but they both know that it ain’t going to happen no matter how crazy their situation is. 

7. Claire trying to comfort Jamie with her hand in his arm and back. I’ve been waiting for this Claire Fraser to come back and here she is. Also, the Frasers handholding gives me much life. I need more pure scenes like these. 

8. Jamie asking Claire to touch the horseshoe because of superstition but she only touches it because it’ll make him happy. I honestly can’t. My bbys are coming back. 

9. When Jamie just said women and red heads are both bad luck but Claire only acknowledges Jamie’s. HAHAHAHA married. 

10. Wow, I didn’t expect Jamie and Claire PDA but I am loving this. I love how automatic their hands are with each other in this hug. All these banana talk is too telling. I love cuddly Frasers. 

11. Besides Fergus, yet again, interrupting a sweet moment…FERSALI HAS ARRIVED (and married)!! 

12. I love Jamie’s sarcastic face talking to Fergus and Marsali. “You hardly know each other” - JAMES, JAMES, have you forgotten your own wedding? ;)

13. Marsali’s annoyance with Claire is seeping. She just calls her names even when Jamie and Fergus asks her not to. Also, I kinda liked that she defended her mother because she’s her family first despite what she’s done. I remember Lauren Lyle’s tweet that Marsali not being the “meek and obedient” type and she was right. Well, girl, you’re just like Claire more that you like. Plus, I love that Claire doesn’t hide the fact that, she too, doesn’t like Marsali all that much. 

14. Marsali will not be bug down. Jamie is surrounded by fierce, outspoken women in his life. His mother, sister, wife, daughters…

15. “We’ve been parted for 20 years and you want me to room with her?” I think we all know what Claire’s plans were ;) HAHAHA Plus, I love that even in their rocky start, Claire still knows her hold over Jamie and I love it. I miss this dynamic. 

16. Jamie Fraser, the king of all men, cannot sing, cannot wink and cannot stand being in the sea. I know that somewhere deep down Claire is temporarily enjoying Jamie’s state of disposition. 

17. Claire and Jamie talking about Fergus like the family conversations they missed the past 20 years. These two, no matter how awkward their situation is, they will always choose to say what they need to and actually have a decent conversation. 

18. Claire and Jamie talking about their wedding like it was three (and not twenty) years ago gives me the feels. I love that they remember it still so much.

19. Our things? Love that she was surprised it’s BOTH their stuff. Love that Claire didn’t think someone would save something of hers the past 20 years. Love that the first thing she thought was being practical and that she would’ve been fine with it being gone. Love that Jamie but in so quickly that he couldn’t bear losing memories of her. Love that Claire recognized her cloak and didn’t like Marseli wearing it. Love that Claire finally has some change of clothes. Love that Jamie says that there’s still more clothes saved back home. PS. Can someone make a FF where Jamie is just reminiscing through the clothes please? :) Also, there’s some debate on whether it was right that Jamie kept and not sold them for money as Lallybroch was struggling (See @OutlanderCostum tweets). Honestly, for me, sentimental things as such are priceless. If it were the not the really, really, really, last resort, I wouldn’t let them go either. 

20. Humorous Frasers are my favorite. I love their inside jokes. Ahhh, seriously, this couple destroys me with feels. 

21. Of course, something goes awry and who’s fault is it? Our favorite duo. Seriously, can’t they catch a break, at least once? BTW, I love seeing Dr. C.E.B.R Fraser in action!

22. Father-Son moment with Jamie and Fergus. “If you were forced to marry milady, then I’m forced to breath, my heart, it is forced to beat” THIS IS HONESTLY ONE OF THE BEST AND MOST ROMANTIC LINES. Fergus sees and knows how true their love is, no matter how much each downplays it. I love that Fergus remembers their brief time together all those years and how that feelings never changed. Jamie is still not making good arguments. So far, everything is biting him back in the behind. (Is their a FF where Fergus tells Marseli memories of Jamie and Claire and shares how pure they truly were?)

23. I may have rolled my eyes when Jamie imposed Fergus to be TOTALLY HONEST with Marseli about his rendezvous past. I mean, come on. 

24. I thought Claire, being a woman of the 20th century, would probably have knowledge and amenable to superstitions and how much it wouldn’t bother following them if without harm. After all, she grew up with an archaeologist and was married to a historian, so for sure, she knows many cultures and traditions. And here she is, dining with the captain, questioning why she should follow the ridiculous ideas of the seas. But still, I love that Claire shares her insight still, and thank goodness, the captain is a little bit more open-minded about this. Just a thought. 

25. MR. WILLOUGHBY/YI TIEN CHO IS HERE!!! His threat to Jamie’s manhood is very convincing.

26. Claire and Marseli in each other throats and no one is backing down. Love that Claire, assuming as she was, doesn’t back down to Marseli nor does try to explain herself.  

27. Caitriona Balfe just looks gorgeous in that blue outfit. I love the added belt and bag. I love that it doesn’t go all the way down to the floor and shows her gorgeous shoes. This is, so far, probably my favorite Claire look! The sun is so good on their skins too. I ABSOLUTELY LOVE HER HAIR. I love tan Jamie and Claire!

28. I wonder how Jamie and Claire survived weeks with Jamie’s vomiting and I wonder where their conversation would have gone hadn’t Marseli and Fergus interrupted them. 

29. I love how they both turn around as Marseli and Fergus approach them. Like what’s that about? :D

30. I must give so much credit to Fergus and Marseli for fighting for their relationship. I must give credit to Claire for trying to help them out. Marsalis face when Claire defended them was priceless. Jamie acting like the “stoic dad” and Claire as the “convincer mom” and this indirect parenting scene gives me so much joy. 

31. Yi Tien Cho and Claire friendship is marvelous. I love that Claire has genuine interest in getting to know him. “A story told is a life lived” line is so powerful, at least to me. 

32. Claire VO scene. I love that she’s smiling making the medicines. The script had a deleted scene where Claire was actually singing and humming but at least, one can see that Claire is actually enjoying the voyage….SO FAR. ;) 

33. I love that she go grabs Jamie to listen to some songs :D

34. I love the acupuncture scene. My favorite of the episode. I love how shocked Jamie and Mr. Willoughby was, being caught on act. And enter Claire, who bears the look more of surprised amusement rather than the fury they were expecting. I love that we see just how deep Jamie’s fears of losing Claire is - that something as simple as offending her ginger tea will make her run away. We see him bracing himself for another round of arguments of why she needs to stay with him because up until this point in the episode, Claire hadn’t really committed herself back to him - she gave direct statements on the cliff, hadn’t really answered about staying with him, when he offered her return to the 20th century, she reasoned Young Ian. Not their relationship. Then Claire, bless her soul, finally said the answer we’re all eager to hear with all the love and it was the perfect. (I currently have Claire’s response as my phone wallpaper for good vibes and feels). 

35. She makes him ginger tea twice a day for three weeks and she’ll make them still hadn’t she caught them - if that isn’t love, I don’t know what is. 

36. With that argument out of the way, the relief on their faces that immediately changes to that look of love we all know and miss from these two. I mean just look at Claire - like there’s no issue anymore, nothing that she holds against him, doesn’t ask him to explain further, doesn’t ask him for conditions - and neither does he. Because they know that going forward and being together is the most important thing. And then they joke and intimacy resumes without shyness. 

37. Jamie and Claire kissing while laughing may have destroyed my feels. I love them so much and this moment is what they deserve for all time. Also, ESKIMO KISSES. 

38. Jamie has forgotten about his acupuncture face and Captain Raines, hilariously, calls him out. HAHAHAHA! Mr. Willoughby trying so hard to explain the treatment, the crews horror looks, and Jamie trying to distract them. 

39. We are just blessed with so many Claire and Jamie moments this episode! I just love this. A rare private moment for our twosome. Love how Claire approaches him after he’s done with his prayers, Jamie unmoving in her presence. Love how she approaches him first and initiates the intimacy because Jamie is still unsure where his boundaries lie. Love how she kisses him on the cheek and grabs him by the arms. Love how their foreheads touch. Love how they only have love eyes for each other. Love the hugging and kissing. Love that it is soft and tender like the still of the night. Like they’re part of the night. Love how perfect they fit together in the embrace. Like it was always meant to be that way. Love that they have a moment to reflect about Brianna. Love how he hugged her closer to assure her of her decision. Love how they stay that way until the end of the frame. I would have loved though if they included the part where they look at Bree’s pictures again but nonetheless, this scene was beautiful, heartbreaking and perfect. Sam and Cait just nailed this especially the last 10 seconds of this scene. 

40. It’s moments like these where I wish Bree could have a way to know and see that her mom is okay and is with her dad and that they both love each other and her very much. I honestly can’t wait for Brianna to meet Jamie next season. 

41. Bad luck after bad luck after bad luck… of course, our bbys are to blame. What’s new? :P

42. They are lucky Captain Raines is an open-minded person or else, they’ll be thrown out by now. 

43. Jamie is an honorable man but I don’t know how he can make promises of not running out of water and evade a mob of angry sailors so fervently. Also, I love how frequent he refers to Claire as his “wife”. Like he missed calling her that so now he repeats it, over and over. 

44. Claire taking charge as well is my favorite aesthetic. 

45. YI TIEN CHO TO THE RESCUE. I love his monologue. I love hearing his story and back story. Love his quick thinking about superstitions and how he can make himself a picture of good luck by bringing wind and rain. Completely forgetting about the horseshoe incident. His timing is impeccable. Love how Claire and Jamie asks him after how he knew and appreciated him saving the day and everyone on the ship. And not just for the rain but personally, for helping them heal in some way. 

46. Jamie and Claire’s mischievous look when Yi Tien Cho was depicting body parts. These guys have waited weeks and we know what’s coming. 

47. Fergus and Marsali kissing behind Jamie and Claire’s backs is the ultimate family moment. 

48. Hallway swinging, INTENTIONALLY falling to each other, “The Wedding” soundtrack starts to play in the background, laughing, breathing heavily, the electricity in their look. Claire and Jamie enter the first door they find. Weeks of abstinence, this intensely hot make-up follows. 

49. OMG we get the bang this episode. I love these kisses more than in 306. More urgent, hungry, and loving. Cait’s jaw line is gorgeous. Claire asking him to hurry up. Pants must be harder to navigate than kilts. Claire complaining about the heat in the room - girl, i don’t think it’s just the room. LEGS. FUNNY BANTERS ABOUT GETTING CAUGHT I AM DEAD. CLAIRE/CAIT’S LAUGH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ACTION. THIS IS LOVE. She holding his face to hers. They don’t care who hears them, they waited weeks for this. This is too hot for words. They don’t seem like 50-year old people to me, then again, what do I know? This is just beautiful because they come together just out of pure love for each other with abandon and nothing else weighing on them. 

50. Whoever is in charge of cinematography this episode, I love you. These scenes are precious. I love how they’re sprawled together on the floor and love how her skirt beautifully covers them. I love their positioning. I love their content smiles. I love how their locked away in their own little bubble. I love how they fit together. I love how Jamie loves the grey. KING OF ALL MEN line- writers, I see what you did there. I love this love reaffirming scene between them because now, they brace for…

51. TROUBLE AHEAD. I should’ve known we won’t last in our happy bubble forever - or at least until the end of the episode. The British just can’t leave Claire and Jamie alone. 

52. Claire’s pained face at the thought of being separated with Jamie again broke me. Shockingly, she didn’t protest to his plan this time and gave her promise immediately. Wow, they are older and wiser. I hate seeing them apart. These two just can’t get away from…adventure, can they?

53.  TOM LENNON - I SEE YOU AND DON’T LIKE YOU. 

54. Dr. CEBR Fraser is back and I love when she takes command. Jamie’s face when she talks medically is half proud and half scared. Claire’s horror face when Jamie refuses to let her see patients.

55. Props to Jamie for trying to talk Claire out of it. Props to them for talking about it like the mature married couple they should be. Props to Claire trying to explain to typhoid fever to comfort Jamie with the idea that she can’t catch a disease not yet known in 1768. I love that Claire takes so much pride and honor in her oath as a doctor just as equally the same as Jamie’s oath as a soldier. They both live dangerous lives and both respects and loves each other for pursuing it. I love that they kiss in agreement and that sexy look Claire gives Jamie after he agreed is just enough to leave him wanting more of her and them. Goodness, the chemistry between these two is electric. 

56. RING TOUCHING. I NEED MORE FRASER HOLDING HANDS MOMENTS.

57. I love how Jamie will literally not take his eyes off the ship. 

58. FEMALE SHIP SURGEONS IN 1768 PEOPLE! 

59. THIS SHIP IS REEKING I CAN SMELL IT FROM THE TV. I almost gagged myself. 

60. Dr. Claire giving instructions these men don’t want to be bothered with so Tom Lennon KIDNAPS her. WHAT THE HELL

61. CLAIRE’S PAINED LOOK AT BEING SEPARATED WITH JAMIE AGAIN. I JUST CANT. 

Final thoughts: 

Since I stopped reading Voyager, I go on watching the episodes with no expectations at all so this episode was freaking fantastic! Probably my favorite of season 3 yet. They gave us many Claire and Jamie moments because we’ll not see them together in a little while - AGAIN - but damn, those were precious scenes. It had a little bit of everything from drama, romance, comedy, action and of course, the ever effective, CLIFFHANGER that we have to wait out until the next episode comes. Can’t wait for more Fergus and Marseli. Can’t wait to see how the last 4 episode plays out. I love this show so much. 

[beyond-far-horizons]

My thoughts on Last Jedi, the backlash and its relation to the archetypal storytelling of the Star Wars Saga.

I have been trying to gather my thoughts on this film, the reaction and the Sequels in general. My overall reaction, after two viewings, some reflection and looking at both sides, is the same as it was when I first saw it - mixed. But given how much the series means to me and others I think analysing our reactions is important.

Spoilers for Star Wars including TFA and TLJ and the film Labyrinth. This is my opinion - repeat just my opinion and won’t be tagged because I don’t want to get into a fan war or debate. Aggressive attempts to do so will just be blocked so play nice ;) Warning for a long-ass post.

Let’s start with what I liked -

It was fun overall. 

The opening fight with Poe was amazing, fast, funny and emotional.

More Poe was a good thing (mostly) and his dynamic with Leia was great - I loved that they had a headstrong male pilot with Leia as his mentor. I also liked the fan observation that Leia puts up with some of his antics because he’s like the son she should/could have had (no disrespect to Ben/Kylo.) Oscar Issac even notes the maternal relationship and that is super cute. 

Leia - nice to see her more front and centre - a general, a stateswoman, a force-user (yes), a mother, a sister and still looking fabulous. Carrie will be missed so much. I grieve for her, her family and for the story we could have gotten in Ep 9.

That moment between Leia and Kylo - sad face.

Rey, Kylo/Ben and Reylo - very happy they went in this direction. I can understand certain people’s/groups misgivings about this when projecting a RL dynamic on it, however the large section of us that enjoy this dynamic, I believe, do so on an archetypal level - which is primarily what Star Wars is about. The fairy tale, the myth - the Light and Darkness battling it out to transcend the opposites in the end. I loved their connection (even though the cuts were quite modern), I always adore it when the hero/heroine and villain start off hating each other, are opposed to each other and then gradually find parallels and similarities, and since ESB, Star Wars has always been fantastic in finding that Yin Yang and Jungian Shadow concept. The way they show the dangers of the path - that Rey could make the same mistakes as Ben and therefore why she wants to save him, just as Luke did with Anakin. It’s so human. The acting was fantastic, the moments soft and then intense - I loved the ‘Force skypes’ and the Throne Room scene. Indeed that application of the Force was just an extension of Luke and Vader in ESB and in a deleted scene in Jedi too. Also as sad and heartbreaking as it was I’m so glad Rey did reject him and didn’t give into his bullshit. I can sympathise with him but she didn’t compromise herself and that is so important. Like in the film Labyrinth at the end, Rey chooses her own sovereignty and morality despite temptation and it was the right thing to do. Also I feel (without getting too RL and social justice on this) women are often seen as the always loving, forgiving redeemers, the healers, the saviours and the nurturers - a powerful archetype that can sometimes be in play but also can be terribly damaging when constantly applied. No person can forever hold the weight of an archetype and in some cases shouldn’t, no matter how sad it is. Rey did her best but Ben ultimately needs to save himself, to make that choice as Vader did and that can be a hard pill to swallow especially when we see he hasn’t got the critical mass (yet) within himself to do it. 

Rey - in two minds given how TLJ treated plot points from TFA - but I continue to love her spirit and vulnerability as well as her moments of humour. 

The Throne Room confrontation was fricking epic! I loved it and I loved seeing the Battle Couple/Back to Back Badasses/Dark and Light take on the guards.

Rose - not so keen on the plotline but the character was adorable and we need more like her. It was also special for me because for years when I was training to be an actress in London, the friend who let me live with her for minimal rent had a Far East background and looked like Rose and always struggled to get decent parts despite her talent and tenacity. Seeing the hope and inspiration Rose gave to her in her career recently was amazing. 

The planets!!! Ahch-To and Crait just blew me away - oceans and islands - check, crystals, deserts and rock formations - check. Glorious!

Those crystal foxes!

I will always be a Reylo fan but Finn and Rey still have a special place in my heart and that hug at the end was gorgeous. If they get together at the end it’s okay with me as long as I can have some Reylo resolution too. 

Rey and Poe finally meeting. Okay I’m Reylo, I like Finn and Rey…but I always liked the idea of Rey and Poe too - yes I can have my cake and eat it thank you. 

The Supremacy - I may consider joining the Dark Side if I can have that ship!

The Codebreaker - there’s always a place in Star Wars for crafty grey characters and I liked DJ, not 100% keen on where they went with it but I liked him.

Holdo’s sacrifice - amazing  - those shots and that silence - just epic.

The initial idea of Luke as a hermit and the Balance which they sort of went with and then…hmm we’ll talk about that next!

Things I didn’t like or thought could have been handled in another way - 

This is interesting and has taught me a lot about how we project ourselves onto stories and what we do or do not get or expect to get out of a story. As we know this film has caused huge dissension and rather than throw crap at people - I respect they have their opinions - I want to analyst mine and other’s responses and find out why. I’ll note my personal reactions and then the issues that may have contributed to such a division.

Luke’s arc - I can see the de-constructivist allure of having Luke fail and why some people have taken heart from that message but as Mark Hamill has said it just isn’t Luke to me. As for him trying, even in a moment, to kill his nephew and best friend’s son after he was willing to sacrifice himself and everything else for his ideals to show his father - Darth freaking Vader -  a better way, also doesn’t ring true. Then to abandon the Republic/Rebellion for the First Order to take over - nah…If they want me to buy it, they need to give me more than what we got.

Admiral Holdo - ugh. I see what they were trying to do but if you have to withhold plans and make a character hold the Idiot Ball for you to do a plot twist it just doesn’t work. Also the whole feminist message was patronising and I say this as a woman and lifelong feminist. Treating men like idiots isn’t going to make them respect you. Also as others have pointed out, Leia was already a trope-breaking example of this done in a much better way in ANH. People were making the point that Holdo was soft and feminine and that’s why Poe and the menfolk in RL didn’t like her or feel she could have been in the military. I’m all for surprising people and frankly she can wear what she wants even though it was incredibly impractical but as an actress I noticed in her physicality she does not convince as someone of any gender who has been in a military force let alone in command. It does something to the way you stand and behave that she didn’t have and putting examples like her in only undermines the progressive course to me. 

Godspeed? God fricking speed?! We are in a Galaxy far far away! It’s the Force you idiot! Also ugh her and Leia just sounded like they were at a socialites party in the US not Star Wars when they say goodbye. I’m so up for female bonds and unexpected characters and roles but it was handled badly in my opinion - an example of shock value, not well thought out world-building. 

Snoke - WTF? Don’t build him up just to kill him off early! He is the reason all the shit in the Galaxy has happened - the return of the Dark Side, the corruption of Ben Solo, Luke’s Hobo arc - how does he link to the OT or even the Prequels (it’s a saga remember - a family saga, themes etc). To kill him now, without those answers, undermines the whole plot and undermines Kylo Ben as a result. Snoke was the reason he did all those heinous things, Leia says in the book he has been essentially grooming her son since he was in the womb (gross!). The OT draws out the Emperor until ROTJ and the Prequels spend 3 movies giving us insights on his dynamic with Anakin that primes us to understand (despite poor execution at times IMO) Anakin’s fall to the Dark side. We have none of this for Kylo bar a few hints. This lends weight to the accusation he is a pathetic, whiney (angry, privileged, white) boy who turned to the Dark Side cos Mummy and Daddy (our OT heroes) didn’t love him enough. Then we are given a vague flashback that Luke Skywalker of all people wanted to kill him for an instant and yeah…it doesn’t do anyone - Kylo, Snoke, Leia, Han or Luke - a service. Plus the ridiculousness of Kylo and Hux at the end undermines the finale and the hopes for Episode 9. I admit Snoke freaked me the f out - the undertones of the child molester/evil guru were strong and might have been a bit too much for kids but hell a good writer could have found a way to develop it properly without being too full on. 

Canto Bight - Finn and Rose. It was…okay…but again I could see the message loud and clear and there’s a difference between an archetypal mythic theme and hitting someone on the head with identity politics. Also I loved Finn and Poe’s dynamic and Finn and Rey’s dynamic in TFA - I wanted more of that. The plot arc just didn’t interest me or feel woven into the main plot as much as I wanted it to. And that sucks because Finn and Rose were cool and it was groundbreaking for Star Wars to include them in their own arc. Due to the lacklustre scenario I felt Finn wasn’t utilised enough. I felt he was slightly short changed by TFA and TLJ didn’t really shift that for me.

The Crait Plan - why not tell people the plan? To have it suddenly appear like a Deus Ex machina was shoddy esp when the First Order find out immediately anyway.

Leia’s Superman impression. It was a shocker and beautifully filmed. Extra poignant when remembering Carrie’s loss but…it’s not Star Wars! There’s a difference in developing the world-building and the magic system (I know this as a writer) and crapping all over it to introduce something ‘cool’. I have wanted Leia to use the Force since ROTJ. I would have totally been down with her using it here (like Nynaeve in The Wheel of Time) when she finally surrenders to this mystical power she doesn’t understand (and likely associates in her heart with Vader) in the face of her political and military might being crushed. It had the potential to be such a beautiful moment. She could have been in a pod or something and then dragged the exploding pieces back together - that would have been in line with previous Force users - Yoda, Dooku, Vader. But to be exploded into space where the vacuum alone could kill you, lack of air, cold etc etc and then fly like Superman just felt so wrong. Yes you need to suspend your disbelief to watch SF/F but the created world needs internal consistency (look up Tolkien’s On Fairy Tales or Mark Wolfe - Building Imaginary Worlds: The Theory and History of Subcreation or the Laws of Sanderson for confirmation on this.)

Luke’s Force Projection and Death - it was beautiful and shocking (again) but (again) didn’t ring true with Star Wars for me even with the call-backs to the Binary Sunset and Obi-Wan’s cloak. Those just made me sadder. If they wanted to make it more Star Wars, more full circle, then why doesn’t he do a proper Obi Wan - face Kylo and become one with the Force in their duel? Also I just felt there was so much more for him to do, so much more to be shown and frankly as much as I love the Sequel characters, I and most of us are here because of the OT characters. This is and always was Luke’s story. We care about Anakin initially because of his connection to Luke even if he wasn’t really in the Prequels, so to have him go out that way and have so little relevance ultimately to the story of the Sequels just felt wrong. I’m not ready for this to be fully Rey’s story yet as much as I like her and what she brings to it. 

There was no real training arc - Luke didn’t even finish his third lesson to Rey. I would have loved to have seen Luke and Rey training and duelling. This also highlighting the unfortunately implication that Rey is a little bit of a Mary Sue and I hate that. The Force just made her awesome - again not consistent with Star Wars. Anakin and Luke, even after training, get their asses handed to them by Dark sider users. Yes Kylo had handicaps and Snoke does well to highlight them in TLJ but it would have been much better to either have had her train under Luke before and had her memory wiped or be trained now to account for her aptitude. It undermines her positive points as a character and it is irritating now to look back at TFA and see her so good at everything just..because…

A main point many people have pointed out - TLJ doesn’t respect the plot points and setups of TFA. This is worse than not respecting the previous trilogies because it’s bad storytelling and each episode is supposed to reinforce the arc of the others. Sure Lucas made similar mistakes but Abrams, Johnson and Disney had years of reflection and fan reaction to draw upon to make sure that didn’t happen and mostly in the OT Lucas made it work to a point they do make senseas whole. Why aren’t Disney and co making these stories to fit each other? They are a trilogy - a beginning, middle and end, not an opportunity for each director to ‘make their mark’ on Star Wars or ‘bring something different’. That’s like hiring a new director for each LOTR film! Again people can cite upending expectations but this was throwing out substance for the sake of shock value and that never works. The Vader plot-twist worked because it deepened the story, the plot-twists that Snoke and Rey’s force sensitivity and parentage don’t matter cheapened it. For the record I liked her parents being nobodies but we don’t get to see her explore that and JJ drops numerous Chekhov’s Guns about Rey’s background in TFA - Han, Leia and Kylo’s reactions to her, Maz’s talk, her visions, Luke’s reaction - that all now looks stupid. Kylo lets an officer go after his tantrum then force grabs him as soon as he mentions a girl. This and his latter interactions with Rey, esp in the novel, make him look like a desperate virgin that has never been exposed to a human female before. 

Phasma - where art thou?

I could go on but those are the main points.

Now to the deeper issues -

Most of us loved the Original Trilogy and while we want to repeat the magic  - to have the same but different - that story was essential told. It has a poignant, satisfying ending - Luke redeems Vader, the Empire is defeated, the Jedi are reborn, Leia and Han get together. It reached a natural conclusion and that conclusion gave it its power. That is a lesson that many of us and especially the entertainment industry don’t want to learn, hence why they milk franchises and stories until they mean nothing. Just as death gives life meaning so does the ending to a good story. However I have always been intrigued by a Sequel trilogy because it was something Lucas toyed with for a long time. I heard rumours of Leia and Han’s children in a forest scene for years and that was so magical! What happened next?! Lucas was notorious for tinkering with his creations and then saying he planned it that way all along (read Star Wars - A Secret History for confirmation and also an amazing insight into the creative development.) As an aside I think that part of the creative process is that it evolves and it interests me how many directions and stories could be told branching from A New Hope, ESB, Jedi and then even TFA. The stories that different groups wanted to be told and the story we got. However something that lent more weight to the Sequel idea was also Lucas’s inspiration of Flash Gordon, Buck Rodgers and those old sci-fi serials that suggested the story could have gone on for episodes before you arrived in the cinema and continued long after, so I was interested to see if they could make it happen. Perhaps it would have been better done years earlier so the original leads could have had a more active role or set in the future so their legacy would have held longer but this is a family saga so…

Despite their love for Star Wars and its superficial appeal I’m not sure JJ Abrams, Rian Johnson and Disney understand the core of Star Wars and the archetypal themes underpinning it. This is the absolute core of the issues with Sequels (the Prequels) for me - I think it could have worked despite everything else but you need to understand the archetypal motif which is textbook Star Wars. A fantastic book that illustrates this is Star Wars - The Magic of Myth. I think they got bits of it but they didn’t really understand the whole and had other agendas in play that meant the worthwhile messages in Leia/Poe/Holdo, Finn/Rose and Luke/Rey’s storylines were lost, dissonant or just sledge-hammered in without respecting the characters, plot or themes. I was so looking forward to seeing a development in the mythos of the Light/Dark sides of the Force and the Balance - how acknowledging anger, abandonment and desire for power and control aka the Shadow, can help you understand yourself and the human experience but not(like Kylo did) by giving into it. This understanding grants you Balance and Transcendence - a true expression of the Jungian Individuation process and the Taoism way that Star Wars was inspired by. This could have been accomplished even with Luke going off to be a hermit which is counter to his character as Mark Hamill stressed. If you want a new story you need to set up conflict and this would have been a great conflict for a more mature Luke to have - that the Dark Side will always return in some way, so how does one counter it? When we found out in TFA he had gone looking for the first Jedi Temple, then we got the 1st trailer and the hints about the Balance of Light and Dark, I was excited. Luke hadn’t abandoned his sister and friends and the Galaxy! He had a painful setback but was still searching for something more. When they dismissed that in the movie and had him be this despondent bum who had vanished just to find some hole to die in, I was so disappointed. Yeah you could have it (as they did) as part of his character arc, to learn failure, to repeat the cycles/mistakes of his masters and be reminded of his younger self in Rey, but as others have pointed out Yoda and Obi Wan went into exile because they needed to and Luke transcended them at the end of Jedi anyway. So it needs a deeper reason for me than what we got.

The Backlash/Conflict and the questions it raises.

It seems broadly to come into two camps, but there are also many people in the middle across a number of different issues. The main camps boil down to either loving the OT - its themes, characters and relationships within the Skywalker Saga and feeling the Sequels haven’t respected that, and the other is enjoying the new direction of the Sequels and feeling Star Wars is now more modern, more progressive, more inclusive, either as a worthy development of the OT or without caring about previous instalments.

This, as I said at the start, comes down to stories - our stories, internally and in the outside world, and the archetypal stories we cling to across generations. Star Wars was always going to matter because it is one of a kind - a modern myth that called to us on this archetypal level as well as being so pervasive in the physical world through advertising, merchandise and different media that it has literally become a religion to some people and inspired many more.

Given that, the stories I’m hearing from the media and the progressive side is that the Last Jedi is fantastic because it’s breaking boundaries, it’s passing the torch, it’s giving us feminism, inclusivity and life lesson moments that are much needed in the current climate. And in a way stories do need to change and adapt to stay meaningful or, as we see, people change them to fit - create fanfiction, art, create their own worlds, write meta taking the pieces that make sense to them. Many people feel more included in the Star Wars saga and as such a powerful phenomenon I’m glad about that.

However to others, Star Wars already deeply meant something to them and some feel the Sequels, in their urge to move things along or having done so brashly, haven’t respected that legacy. Although there are undoubtedly racist, prejudiced idiots out there using Star Wars as part of their ideology, this goes against everything Star Wars and Lucas was trying to convey. So personally I think a lot of the deeper backlash is because of the Sequels ignoring the archetypal hero journey and themes at the heart of Star Wars - a journey first brought to us by Luke and his companions. Star Wars is not the type of story that lends itself to deconstruction, shock value twists and hopelessness - it’s a hopeful fairy story, that while filled with peril and battles with evil, nevertheless gives us the strength to face the dark symbolically and find the best in ourselves. While it has had its storytelling and world-building issues (especially with the Prequels hence the backlash with them at the time) it does have its own mythos and internal consistency, something I feel the Sequels have ignored time and again,and even undermining the setups in TFA. To call people ‘losers’ stuck on simple nostalgia or ‘man babies’ (as a friend of mine did) for having these objections is unfair. Archetypal stories/myths come from the Collective Unconscious and that moves very slowly in relation to society which is why we read stories from thousands of years ago and they still resonate. That doesn’t mean you have to copy the Hero’s Journey from the OT point for point - there are a galaxy of myths out there and our own minds for exploring how the legacy of the OT can be respected and yet developed, as well as including more women and POC as it needed to.

I will still watch Episode 9 and take the things I liked from it, TFA and TLJ, but to me the OT will always be the true Star Wars. However nothing is in vain and honestly I think this debate can be used by anyone to learn from the power of stories - what works and what doesn’t for them and go on to create their own original narratives as Lucas did all those years ago…I’m also really interested in getting the perspectives of kids seeing the Sequels vs the Prequels and OT as these will be ‘their’ Star Wars and the things we see and love as children always have special significance as they are the first to charge our awakening imaginations.

[misssophiachase]

do you watch friends? there was a scene where phoebe complains that she's 30 but still hasn't had the perfect kiss. joey runs out of the coffee shop, kisses her & then says "now you can say you've had your perfect kiss." it was quite sweet. can you write a mini klaroline prompt based off that?

Thanks for the prompt nonnie and I’m sorry this took so long to do, I actually had it half written then managed to delete it and have had trouble getting the motivation again. And yes I adore Friends and this scene : )

I also want to tag @thenerdyunhealthybrit who gave me a Friends drabble prompt AGES ago and I never got around to it. Hope this will suffice, luv : )

I’ll Be There For You

“Well, that’s three months of my life I’ll never get back,” Caroline sighed, flopping onto the café’s couch next to Bonnie defeatedly.

“And another one bites the dust,” Enzo murmured, not even bothering to look up from his newspaper as Kol began to hum the melody of the aforementioned Queen song.

“It’s a little too early for your poor excuse of a comedy duo sketch, isn’t it?” She scowled in their direction. “Urgh. What’s wrong with me?”

“Well…” Kol began.

“You’re not being helpful,” Bonnie chided, giving her boyfriend a knowing look.

“She makes it too easy,” he argued, poking out his tongue.

“I meant,” she replied tersely, choosing to ignore his usually childish behaviour. “Why do I always pick the wrong guys?”

“I thought James was perfect relationship material,” Elijah offered, mimicking her premature and totally unfounded predictions and calmly taking a sip of his tea. “If I recall correctly he’s a lawyer, Harvard Rhode Scholar, has an impressive stock portfolio and likes the opera.”

“You really should have known from that opera nonsense,” Klaus interjected.  

Caroline turned to give the middle Mikaelson a weary glance. When they’d first met the Mikaelson siblings after Kol and Bonnie began to date all those years ago, his crimson lips and dimples had disarmed her briefly but then she found out just what an arrogant smartass and womaniser he was and the spell was well and truly broken. 

“It’s times like these I wish you’d not listen to anything I say just like your brothers,” Caroline said to Elijah, while choosing to ignore Klaus. She figured that unusual perceptiveness he possessed was due to Katherine’s influence over the eldest brother since they’d recently begun dating.

“Well, he must have done something wrong,” Katherine observed, snatching the last salted caramel macaron before Enzo could get his greedy hands on it. 

“Oh yeah, he did.”

“Oh, let me guess,” Rebekah offered. “He couldn’t dance like that Max fellow with the two left feet? 

“Yeah, you had bruises for weeks from memory,” Klaus shared.  

“No, it has to be Sam and his questionable fashion choices,” Enzo observed. “But between you and me, I don’t mind a good turtleneck. It can get a little nippy in New York City in the winter, after all.”

“Turtlenecks haven’t been in fashion for a long time and anyone who’d pay so little for a suit needs to have his head examined,” Klaus interjected again. 

“No, it had to of been the laugh,” Kol chuckled. “Do we all remember Nathan and that weird noise he emitted that sounded like a dinosaur dying?” 

“How in the world do you know what a dying dinosaur sounds like?” Katherine baulked. 

“I concur with Kol’s comments, just this once.” Klaus mumbled. For someone who showed zero interest in her love life certainly had a lot of unexpected opinions.

“You have to admit, it was pretty bad,” Bonnie whispered, not quietly enough though to avoid a dirty look from her best friend. 

“Is my love life really that entertaining to everyone?”

“Well…”

“Kol, zip it,” Rebekah warned, slapping him across the head for extra effect and some sisterly revenge. “It can be very difficult to find a good man, believe me.”

“Well, when the woman in question is your bossy, big sister then it’s not that surprising,” Kol shrugged. 

“Enzo? Are you going to defend me here?” She baulked, looking to her boyfriend who was still immersed in his newspaper. 

“You let him get to you every time, darling. You know just saying,” he murmured, his hand finding hers comfortingly. 

“Don’t take any notice,” Katherine said. “He’s hopped up on caffeine. As soon as he’s coming down from his high we can all pester him incessantly and pepper him with retaliatory insults.”

Caroline wasn’t unfamiliar with their usual banter and while she mostly found it entertaining, today she wasn’t in the mood. When would she find the guy who was going to change her perception on things, challenge her daily and give her the perfect kiss she’d craved? Call her a pathetic romantic but she’d been waiting for that kiss for almost thirty years and right now wasn’t sure it would ever happen. 

Her birthday was coming up in a month and it had taken all her strength to stay with James to that point. Yes, he was perfect on the outside and she was pretty sure would kill any job interview or parental interrogation but she wanted more. She wanted her perfect kiss and couldn’t wait any longer. She was running against the clock, after all. 

“Care?” Bonnie interrupted waving her hand in front of her face. “We lost you there, which isn’t entirely unexpected in this crowd. What was wrong with him?”

“It doesn’t really matter. I suppose he just wasn’t right for me,” she mumbled, feeling the hot water welling in her eyes and dreading having to explain her sudden reaction. “I actually need to get to work.” Before anyone could object she left, pulling her coat across her chest to ward off the winter chill.  

“Caroline,” he shouted, she’d know that familiar accent anywhere given its ability to cause a few niggling sensations down below. Why did her name have to sound so good rolling off his tongue? “Wait up.”

“What do you want Klaus?” She growled, turning around on her heel quickly and somehow finding herself rubbing against his chest teasingly, those necklaces in full view peaking out teasingly beneath his familiar henley. 

“What was wrong with him?”

“Huh?”

“You didn’t say, no doubt due to my brother’s lack of tact as usual.”

“Oh come on, it’s growing on me,” she shot back sarcastically. 

“That’s when I know you’re delirious,” Klaus joked. Caroline was trying to ignore just how handsome he looked in that charcoal, fitted jacket and dark jeans. 

“And you must be too wanting to know about my latest relationship, I mean you’ve barely batted an eyelid.”

“Not sure where you’ve been all this time, love,” he smiled. Moving closer and fastening a stray lock of hair behind her ear, surprisingly her slightly. “Now, what did that ass do exactly and should I kick his ass?”

She was momentarily winded, struggling to breath because he felt so warm against her body and his spicy aftershave so enticing as it filled her nostrils. 

“All I wanted was the perfect kiss before I turned thirty, let’s just say he couldn’t oblige.” She noticed a slight tugging at the corners of his mouth, afraid she’d summonsed the arrogant monster from within.

“I can’t promise perfect but I’d be willing to try and help you out?” She was frozen now, wondering exactly what this would mean for their friendship but his close proximity only made her want him more. She figured you were only thirty once and as his mouth covered hers she realised just how good it felt. 

His lips massaged hers, slowly at first, almost like Klaus was relishing in the initial contact as Caroline melted into his embrace. She felt his tongue slip into into her warm and waiting mouth. She groaned against his lips unable to stifle the unfamiliar feelings he’d caused from just one kiss. 

The sound of a car horn broke them from their reverie and moving apart, albeit reluctantly. They continued to stare, their blue eyes unwavering their breathing slightly ragged. 

“I suppose I should, uh, get going,” Caroline said, finally managing to find her voice. 

“I suppose you should then, love,” Klaus smiled, those dimples making a sudden appearance.  She managed to tear away her gaze and make her way down the sidewalk even if her legs felt like jelly and her heart was racing that much faster. 

Fast forward three years and her friends relished in telling that particular story at their wedding reception but both the bride and groom liked to argue who really was the one to make the first move and if in fact it was the perfect kiss. 

Caroline liked to play her cards close to her chest to avoid inflating that already impressive ego but Klaus figured he had the winning hand given she’d agreed to marry him at all. 

[kiss-my-freckle]

Keen vs. Bond

Liz’s feelings about Tom being a spy. 

This is sure to be a bit lengthy, as I’ll be weaving in and out of both deleted and on-screen scenes, and including random & not-so random images as I go.

Because body language is important.

Liz speaks to us in the pilot about her plans to rewrite the past by having kids of her own. Something I believe she was having second thoughts about before the helicopter even flew over her front steps. Given Red didn't know Owen Mallory's story, I'd say Liz came to the decision not to adopt on her own. Because kids shouldn't be used to rewrite the past just as much as they shouldn't be used to smile for a couple's Christmas card.

"I’m board certified in forensic psychology, and yet I operate under the delusion that I can rewrite my past by having kids of my own."

I wouldn't so much consider Liz's rewriting her past through Agnes as much as she's trying to give her a life different than her own. With little to no memory of her own past, Liz takes video footage of Agnes in their safehouse, of Baz waving a big smiling hello. A bit of memory that her daughter will one day be able to see for herself, a memory that won't be hidden in her subconscious because it was blocked.

"If I go through with this, you will be my only link to my past. I lost Sam. I lost my mother. And I’ll lose Kirk. And whatever you want to call him, he was married to my mother. He raised me as a child. And he’s willing to do what you are not- tell me about who I am."

Just as much, Liz plans to give her daughter what she didn't have. Growing up as an adopted child, not knowing the truth of her parents. She wants to give Agnes a family, moreso- two parents who love one another. So Liz pushes for a shotgun wedding, hoping to be married before Agnes is born. Though she wants it done fast, she wants it done right, and in her mind- this is right.

"I am attempting to build a life with the father of my child. A normal life with two parents who love one another. With everything you know about me, can’t you see that? Can’t you see how important that is to me? To my child?"

Liz also wants a normal life for her and Agnes, something spoken of often in this show, but more notably in The Djinn. Because having your mother killing a spy in your own kitchen while you're asleep upstairs isn't what anyone would consider normal.

"It’s been the same thing for as long as I can remember. I’m walking in a park with my husband. In between us is our little girl. I’m holding her hand in mine... and I never let go."

I'm just gonna jump ahead to season three, since that's where it really starts for this particular post. Even better, let's start with the fact that Liz fell in love with Tom Keen, a man that never even existed, as Red stated in The Pavlovich Brothers and Liz stated in Lord Baltimore.

Liz: He’s gone. My husband is gone. Red: Your husband never existed.

Attorney: The judge signed it. May be of little solace, but he granted your application for the annulment. As far as the District of Columbia is concerned, you were never married to Thomas Keen. It’s none of my business, but I noticed you’re keeping his name. Liz: My husband - was an impostor, a fake. Keen was never his name.

Liz never fell in love with Tom Bond, and Tom knows this. Looking at his proposal in Mr. Gregory Devry, and his choice to look for a teaching job in The Vehm was a huge indicator. Tom was trying to become the man that Liz did fall in love with. 

Tom: I got to check out the campus in uh, Boston, so I’ll clean this up before I go. Liz:  Okay. A teacher? Tom: There was a lot about our old life that I really liked, including you.

Before their wedding, he spoke of giving up the spy life, adding to this goal of his, to become the man that she fell in love with.

"Look, what I want you to know, is that it happened because I made it clear that I’m out. I’m done with those people and that life."

Always claiming to want that normal life, which Tom started speaking of back in Leonard Caul's episode. Again, adding to his goal of becoming the man Liz fell in love with, wanting that normal life just as Liz wants.  

Liz: I thought you’d be gone. Tom: That was the plan. Then I thought maybe if I stayed, I’d have a shot at a normal life.

Liz never did fall in love with Tom Bond, but I believe she expected Tom to change, to give up that life because he fed her his desire to do that throughout the show. And so... I feel she was looking forward to actually having Tom Keen in her life without that other part of him- the Tom Bond who tore her open.  

His little spiel in Natalie Luca-

Liz: I know this family is the most important thing to you. But it’s not gonna work if you can’t be who you are. I guess... I’m just scared. Tom: Of what? Liz: I’m not gonna love that person. Tom: Do you love me? Liz: Yes. Tom: Then you love that person. Because that’s who I am.

So after having sold her the fantasy that she’d be in a relationship with Tom Keen without the Tom Bond- as he claimed he’d give up “that life” many times, he's basically telling her that if she loves him, then she loves Tom Bond because that's who he is. Tom has gotta be kidding with this bullshit. It could pertain to any bit of who a person is, whether they be a spy or a serial killer, or a racist for that matter. If one claims it's a part of who they are and you're supposed to love that side of them because you love them... that's ignorant thinking. This was a closet-spy she didn’t fall in love with, who sold her the idea that he’d change but never did, and is now telling her that she loves the spy he is if she loves him.

Nonsense. 

Liz fell in love with a 4th grade teacher, which Tom is not.

“They made me believe you were a monster.”

“Tom teaches 4th grade. He’s overworked and underpaid and still wakes up every morning with a smile on his face. You know why? Because he knows nothing of the terrible world you and I live in. End of story.”

"The Neo-Nazi? ‘Cause that doesn’t really do it for me."

"I prefer the bookish teacher."

"When was this? When you were a skinhead? One of Berlin’s thugs? ‘Cause I’m guessing it wasn’t an elementary-school teacher."

I'm cracking up laughing at how people have interpreted the deleted scenes, so I'm gonna get to them now as I move along. I'll be adding that deleted scene I put to gif from season three while I'm at it.  And it's not just the deleted scenes, but the "warnings" Red gave Liz, both in season three and season four.  Even to some of the dialogue out of Liz's own mouth. Because every bit of it weaves through everything I've mentioned above. Specific to Red's warnings in Drexel, before the wedding in Mr. Solomon, as well as what he said in Natalie Luca. As I've said many times, Red is not and will not be wrong about Tom. When they hand you this much crap in deleted scenes as they do on-screen scenes, you gotta know what's coming.

From Drexel-

Liz: Don’t you get it? The only reason Tom did what he did is because he had to do something desperate to get away from this. Red: You made yourself clear this morning, Elizabeth. You can blame me if you like. Liz: Damn right, I blame you. If he dies... Red: If he dies, it’s because he put himself in exactly the wrong place at exactly the wrong time. He did this, not me. And that robbery the police want to ask him about- diamonds. He was part of a team that stole tens of millions of dollars’ worth of diamonds. A team I hear included his ex-girlfriend Gina Zanetakos. He’s reckless, dangerous. He’s not worthy of being your husband, and he sure as hell is not worthy of raising that child.

Here, Liz tried to blame Red for Tom's situation. If he dies, it's Red's fault for Tom attempting to get away from him. Similar to her blaming Red in Natalie Luca. Because apparently, everything is Red's fault. So, to that deleted scene in season three-

"But, you're an adult, so make your own choices."

From Mr. Solomon-

Red: No, Lizzy. I’m here to ask you, to implore you, please, don’t do this. I’m telling you, no matter what you believe, Tom is not the man you think he is. Liz: You’re wrong. You don’t know him. Red: He’s a criminal. Liz: No. He’s changed. Red: Men like Tom don’t change. You’re attempting to build a life with a man who is fundamentally dishonest.

And I'm cracking up laughing at this one. So apparently, Tom is no longer a criminal- even though he just committed a major diamond heist a couple episodes prior, and had the cops at his hospital bed, hoping to put him behind bars after his release.

The Forecaster-

"This is exactly where they belong."

Coming from the same woman who said, "They’re not just passports. You put them in a box under the floor in our home. They represent everything I’m trying to forget."

"David… Lucas, and… Kaya. I used to be scared of those guys. Not anymore."

Coming from the same woman who had a nightmare about her own husband choking her to death in The Courier.

From Natalie Luca-

Liz: You know, Tom and I were just starting to find some semblance of normalcy. And you had to just sweep in, drag him back down your rabbit hole. There must be dozens of contract operatives just like him. Why him? Red: Tom is very good at what he does. It defines him. He can no sooner choose to stop than a great white shark can choose to stop swimming and eating. He will do what he does.

Again, Liz blaming Red. But as I've said, he's right about Tom. The man is a spy, and I don't need to put the many scenes in here that feed it, since he admits it to Liz himself- how much he needs to be a spy. What's more interesting, is Liz's dialogue here, so I'll be coming back to this bit.

Liz: How’d it go? Tom: Honestly, it was great. I was thinking about what you said, about why I needed that. Truth is, I still don’t know. But what I do know, is that this family’s the most important thing in my life. I don’t wanna lose it. Liz: We just arrested a woman who would’ve done anything to stay with the person she loved, but she lost him anyway. Tom: I’m not going anywhere. Liz: That’s not what I meant. From the beginning, we’ve been fighting secrets and agendas and psychotic homicidal killers coming between us. And for the first time, we’re together, and we’ve got no one to fight. But it still feels- Tom: Like we’re coming apart? Liz: I know this family is the most important thing to you. But it’s not gonna work if you can’t be who you are.

Yeah, it's coming apart because Liz never fell in love with Tom Bond. 

Deleted scene from season three-

Tom: I can do this! Red: Do what? Complete this mission and come back alive? Maybe you can, maybe you can't. Or do you mean- Complete this mission alive, come back and raise your daughter as if you're a real parent? Her only parent. Because that, I know you can't do.

My interpretation of this scene is simple. Red is flat out insulting Tom, telling him he's not a real parent, that he's no Sam Milhoan. He can't complete this mission alive, come back and raise his daughter as if he's a real parent because... well... the spy life defines him. Once he finishes one job, he goes out looking for another. It's what he does.

“I've always found it enormously empowering, the knowledge that whatever path I chose, it didn't really matter where it led, and it didn't really matter if I ever came back. You don't have that power. You have a child. But, you're an adult, so make your own choices. Just know, that if you're gone, I'll be watching your daughter.”

My interpretation for this one. Red speaks of it not mattering in his case because his daughter was being raised by Sam Milhoan. He didn't have to worry about Liz because he trusted the man raising her. But for Tom, it's different. Red isn't ignorant to his feelings of him, so he tells him that if he's gone, he'll be watching Agnes.

Deleted scene from season four-

Tom: So, you work with him, but I can't? Liz: It isn't the same, and you know it. Tom: No, I don't know that. Liz: The work I do with Reddington is... legal. It's part of my job at the FBI. What he's asking you to do is against the law. Tom: Liz, he's asking me to find a criminal, alright? He asks you to find criminals all the time. Liz: If you go through with this, you'll go to jail. Is that a risk you're willing to take? Tom: Liz, I love our daughter. And I love you. But this is what I do. And I'm good at it, and I love that too. Besides, you're the only adult I've spoken to in the past two weeks.... besides the Diaper Genie, and he's kind of stiff. Liz: It isn't funny. Tom: I can sing "Wheels on the Bus" backwards. Okay? The driver goes "Move on back." The people go up and down. The babies go "Wah, wah, wah." And it's just... it's not good for anybody's mental health. Liz, I need to do this. And I'm asking you to respect that.

Here, Tom speaks as if he needs the spy life in order to have a real life, in order to spend time with adults other than the Diaper Genie. As if normal grown adults don't hang out with other normal grown adults. Apparently, one has to be out committing criminal acts or playing spy in order to have conversations with other grown adults. And I'm laughing at this idea people have that the only issue Liz has with Tom being a spy, is in the legalities of it. If it were that simple, then she could simply talk to Cooper about using him as a CI like Red is, but she doesn't because that's only part of it. But I'll get back to the legalities of this once I hit the next scene. And Tom, lmao... he's telling a clinical psychologist what's bad for one's mental health, as if she doesn't know about this herself. But what a fun time Tom is having trying to manipulate Liz into agreeing and accepting his spy life.

Deleted scene from season four-

Tom: The truth is... it felt good. I felt... useful again. Liz: You don't think you're useful? To our family? To our daughter? Tom: I thought we were gonna get away. From Reddington, from all of this, and we.... we didn't. And that's fine, but... now we're living in this world where there's room for Mr. Mom, but not for me. Liz: That's not fair. Tom: Maybe not, but it's how I feel.

This scene bothers me. Truth is, if being a spy is part of who he is, then it wouldn't matter if Red is in their lives or not. Had they made it in Cuba without issue, he'd be a spy in Cuba right now. Sure, Tom is pissed that they never got away from Red, but he's fine with it now because it gives him an excuse. So yeah.. he's pushing this... "you work with him, so I should be able to work with him" crap. Tom can't stand being near the life without being in it. It's like a drug addict trying to go clean while being surrounded by drug addicts who aren't. Oh, look... he’s walking away from her as he did back in season one, when she changed her mind about the adoption. Tom’s response when he doesn’t get the response he wants. 

And even more to this scene, since it adds to the legalities of the previous one.

"Against the law" means it's a criminal act. "Going to jail" happens when one commits a criminal act. This is what Tom wants to do for Red, what he's begging Liz to respect. Here, Tom is committing a criminal act. Again, pointing to the truth Red gave Liz before the wedding, since viewers are a lot like Liz- they have a hard time accepting truth. 

Red: He’s a criminal. Liz: No. He’s changed. Red: Men like Tom don’t change. You’re attempting to build a life with a man who is fundamentally dishonest.

Red proving himself right about Tom over and over and over in deleted scene and on-screen.  

Back to Liz’s Djinn fantasy-

In season three, we had Tom pulling a diamond heist that almost got him killed, and would've put him in prison had it not been for Red.

Again, Red’s dialogue from the deleted scene-

“I've always found it enormously empowering, the knowledge that whatever path I chose, it didn't really matter where it led, and it didn't really matter if I ever came back. You don't have that power. You have a child. But, you're an adult, so make your own choices. Just know, that if you're gone, I'll be watching your daughter.”

Again, Liz's dialogue from the deleted scene-

"What he's asking you to do is against the law." "If you go through with this, you'll go to jail. Is that a risk you're willing to take?"

Tom felt the risk worth taking, as he went on his mission for Red in Natalie Luca. Tom got arrested for assaulting a drug dealer in the season four deleted scene.

Again, Liz’s own dialogue in Natalie Luca-

Liz: You know, Tom and I were just starting to find some semblance of normalcy. And you had to just sweep in, drag him back down your rabbit hole.

....where she’s basically saying it herself... that the spy life isn’t normal. 

Liz is at that point where she's realizing the truth of her relationship with Tom, of this "normal life" she believed she was going to have with him. In order to give Agnes two parents that love one another, she has to accept Tom being a spy. But to accept Tom being a spy, she has to accept the fact that she won't have her Djinn fantasy. As I've said before, she's sacrificing her Djinn fantasy because she can't have both. She can't have Tom Bond and that normal life. Not that having Tom Bond is going to give her that normal life anyway. She wants Agnes to grow up with two parents that love one another, and if she were to accept Tom's spy life, she'd be accepting the fact that Agnes' father could end up dead or in prison. So she wouldn’t just be sacrificing her own Djinn fantasy, she’d also be sacrificing the normal life she wanted for Agnes to grow up in... far different than her own. 

That’s truth. 

[florrickandassociates]

TGF Thoughts-- 1x02: First Week

Thoughts on 1x02 under the cut! 

(I did it! I recapped two episodes in one week!)

First Week takes advantage of its ability to swear from the very start: “Bitch. Fucking bitch. I know where you live,” a man says angrily. This delightful (by which I mean vile) message is on Maia’s personal cell phone. She’s listening in the elevator on the way to work, and it’s evident, watching her reactions, that this is getting to her. Phone Twitter Egg #1 then promises to rape both Maia and Amy (though he doesn’t refer to Amy by name, instead choosing to use a slur). Maia moves on to the next message, which starts off well enough: “Hi. Good morning.” Maia relaxes for a split second, before Phone Twitter Egg #2 spits, “fuck you.” Maia tenses again, then scrolls through her voicemail. It’s full of unknown numbers leaving multiple messages a minute, presumably all like the two we’ve heard.

This opening makes me appreciate that TGF is on All Access. The writers don’t have to dance around the language that most directly and concisely makes their point, and they don’t have to sub in words (think about how the TGW characters always had to say “banging” when you could totally tell they wanted to say “fucking”). Do we need to hear this abusive language to understand what’s going on? No. But there’s something about how explicit it is—and I mean explicit both in the sense of “clear” and the sense of “R-rated”--  that shows exactly what Maia’s up against.

On a different note, is Reddick/Boseman supposed to be literal LGjhahagkjashfl? They didn’t even try to make the elevator look different.

Maia tells the receptionist it’s her first day and she’s not sure where to go. The receptionist holds up a finger, telling her to wait, so she looks at a stack of copies of the Cook County Vindicator instead. I wonder when this insert was filmed, because there’s a headline that says “TRUMP POLICIES FACE PUSHBACK FROM CIVIL RIGHTS GROUPS.” It begins “Less than two months after being sworn in […] Trump is facing the fiercest opposition to the implementation of his new his immigration policies...” I’m pretty sure, since it says less than two months and this happened in reality less than one month in, this wasn’t added in later. I mean, it’s a predictable headline, but, uhhhhh.

The part of the paper relevant to this ep is a small story barely above the fold about the Rindell scheme.

Omg, wait, there’s a shot of Maia with the paper and it is formatted differently. The headline is still the same, but I don’t know about the body of the story. So something definitely happened here.

Anyway, Maia’s not able to read the rest of the article because someone’s ready for her: Julius Cain, who is no longer at LG’s New York Office.

Julius informs Maia that they have 55 associates and 40 workstations, so you just sit down at whatever desk is free and can’t keep anything with you there. Oh man, I would hate that so much. They’re really small desks, too.

Maia has her first assignment already, too. She’s going to the SWSMU offices at 10. It’s a union they represent, and they have to do pro-bono work for them for appearances, essentially.

First days of work are difficult enough without unknown numbers threatening to cut your tits off. I feel terrible for Maia. (I love the little flashes of anger on Maia’s face as she reads/listens to these words.)

While Maia’s trying to harden herself against harassment, Diane is staring off into space in the parking lot as she gets more disappointing news: Lockhart/Deckler is withholding her capital contribution, so the only money she has for the buy-in at Reddick/Boseman is the money she’d get if she sold her department. And she’s not willing to do that. So maybe, her accountant suggests, her new partners will offer her a loan.

Diane looks at Barbara, who’s exiting her car at that exact moment. Diane knows exactly how that conversation would go.

Next, Lucca arrives at work. She exits the elevator, nods at a colleague (she’s been here for months), and finds Julius in her office. She’s being moved from her office to make room for Diane. Her new office is right near the men’s bathroom… and the bathroom door opens straight into the (glass, of course it’s glass, did you think for a minute they’d give that up?) wall of her office. This is going to be a recurring gag like Eli’s tiny office, isn’t it?

Lucca also has to go to the SWSMU. She complains that she did it last month, but Julius doesn’t let her out of it.

Adrian arrives next. He jokes around with the valet and his secretary, which gives me a very good sense of his personality. He throws his keys to the valet, and asks him how the college search is coming. He’s playful, but not in a way that’s disrespectful of others.

Next, he talks to his secretary about the case from 1x01. They’ve officially won. And, his secretary alerts him, Diane is already meeting with Barbara.

In Barbara’s office (which is the one I thought, in 1x01, belonged to Adrian, but in any case is still Will Gardner’s office), Barbara tells Diane she heard her speak at an ABA conference. “Oh, yes, on racial hiring,” Diane recalls. “That’s right,” Barbara says. She doesn’t elaborate, and Diane understands: “Oh. I hope I didn’t embarrass myself too much.” Barbara doesn’t reassure Diane (and why should she?): “Hmm. Not too much.” Diane laughs to move the conversation along, but they both know Barbara wasn’t joking.

Yeah. That’s definitely Will’s office. See the door to his private bathroom of Willicia sexytimes?

Adrian enters before things can get any tenser between Diane and Barbara. Adrian has a gift—a nice bottle of wine—for Diane. It’s from his own row of vines.

Barbara mentions that they’ll need Diane’s capital contribution by next week. Diane tries to spin the situation with the old firm, telling them she’d appreciate their patience. Adrian says it’s fine, because he’s dealt with David Lee, and tells her she needs to be in on a meeting at 11 with litigation financiers.

Diane exits, and Barbara asks Adrian, “And how patient are we to be?” “Let’s give her two weeks,” Adrian replies. Their dynamic reminds me a lot of season 1 Will and Diane. Definitely not the same, but the sense of partners who have very different ideas about how to approach situations and what they’re trying to accomplish.

Marissa is plugging in Diane’s computer when she gets to her office. “Are you from Lockhart/Deckler?” she asks, not recognizing Marissa (who’s under a desk). “Lee, Deckler…,” Marissa begins to recite. No more Lockhart! When Marissa pops up from under the desk, Diane recognizes her. Marissa wants to help as much as she can, because if she goes back to Lee/Deckler, she’ll just be sent out on another errand.

“When Alicia hired me, I was supposed to be involved in cases and everything, but it’s been all moving boxes since she left,” Marissa explains. How did I miss an Alicia reference the first time through!? I just deleted a whole thing about how I don’t understand how Marissa got a job at Lockhart/Deckler when she was always in Alicia’s universe and… this makes so much sense. Though, it also means that Alicia would’ve had to have hired Marissa in late season 7 of TGW, right? But we didn’t see that happen. Or does it mean that Alicia stuck around for a little bit even after 7x22? Whatever. The important thing is that it makes a lot of sense that Alicia hired Marissa.

Unpacking a box, Marissa holds up the Diane/HRC photo. “Still want this?” she asks dryly. “Definitely,” Diane replies. WHY WOULDN’T SHE, MARISSA?

Racist as fuck David Lee sent Diane a box of African masks to take to her new firm. A perfect moment for Barbara to walk in—she definitely sees the masks. Barbara mentions that Diane will need an assistant and candidates are coming in today. As soon as Barbara’s out of earshot, Marissa starts angling for the assistant job. She says she doesn’t have a resume, but wants to be hired for a day as a trial.

At the union, Lucca is sort of in charge. Everyone else is there to give 20 minute max consultations. Their purpose isn’t to find new business, it’s to refer people to other resources. Which is a nice way of saying that maybe they’ll help a few people, but mostly it’ll look good.

“You’re the ‘door close’ button in the elevator. Comforting, but not necessarily effective,” Julius explains. I like that analogy. (Also, of course it’s an analogy about elevators. How long ‘til TGF’s first elevator makeout sesh?)

Case stuff happens, and we get a sense of how this type of legal work plays out. Maia’s not sure how to accomplish what Julius instructed her to do. “I’m not really supposed to help…” she tells one woman. The woman then asks, “Then why are you here? If you can’t help, why are you here?” Maia doesn’t have an answer.

Lucca surveys the room and notices that Maia’s line is longer than anyone else’s. She glances at the other lawyers, and it’s obvious why Maia has the longest line: she’s the only white lawyer. “Oh, come on,” Lucca says to herself.

Lucca tries to convince a white man in Maia’s line (the line behind Maia isn’t entirely white, btw—I think this scene is about both people assuming that a white lawyer would be more knowledgeable or better just because she’s white AND racist white people being comfortable around other white people) to come with her instead. He isn’t interested. Lucca tells him she’s a third year associate and Maia just passed the bar, and he won’t budge. She moves on to the next man.  

The case of the week begins with Maia talking to a man who’s been accused of stealing product and had his wages garnished. He wants his wages to be garnished less, but Maia wonders why her wages are being garnished at all. He signed a confession.

Maia takes it to Lucca. It was a forced confession. There’s arbitration that afternoon, and Maia wants to go to help him out. Lucca tries to talk her down, but Maia asks again. Lucca, sensing that Maia could use a win/a distraction from her own problems (Lucca doesn’t know it, but Maia’s still getting those messages.)

Lucca also asks if Maia’s doing okay, and Maia says that for the first time in a while, yes. “It’s good when you can focus on someone else’s problem,” Lucca says. Maia smiles in agreement. “First place I’ve been I wasn’t recognized,” Maia comments.

The meeting with the litigation financers—two dudes who run cases through an algorithm, which is a thing so Kings-y it must actually exist (it does: http://www.newyorker.com/business/currency/what-litigation-finance-is-really-about) – is going on over at RBK. (Heh. I am reading that New Yorker article now, and guess what ad I was served? Yep. An ad for TGF.)

The RBK conference room is Diane’s LG office. Seriously, they didn’t even change out the window backdrops.

Marissa calls Diane out of the meeting to meet with Lenore, Maia’s mother. I think Diane’s office is one of the 27th floor offices, maybe Alicia’s old one. Those windows look really familiar.

Lenore is trying to get to Maia through Diane. Diane doesn’t want to do anything to help Lenore—doesn’t Lenore see how much she’s hurt Diane? Lenore insists it was all Jax. But Diane doesn’t believe that: she asked about the money for the house, and they told her to keep it in the fund! Yup. Not sure if I noted it last ep or not, but definitely thought it was fishy Henry was being so pushy about Diane not buying the Provence house…

Lenore says she’s innocent and wants to know why Diane’s treating her like she’s not. Uh, maybe for the reason she just gave you? Maybe because it was your responsibility to know if there was a scheme going on, even if it wasn’t yours?

Finally, Diane agrees to tell Maia that Lenore stopped by. Satisfied, Lenore begins to leave, then mentions that it would also be great if Diane could visit Henry in prison. Since Henry is Diane’s oldest friend (interesting that she’s friends with Henry more than Lenore—I want more backstory!), Lenore wants her to visit and maybe give legal advice. Diane considers.

Arbitration takes place in the mall where Client of the Week, Frank, works. 

Maia begins to make an argument, and no one else in the room takes it as seriously as she does. Then Lucca pops in as “an observer from the union.” More like “moral support for Maia.” (And Lucca might be thinking this could lead to bigger things.)

The arbiter decides against Frank, and Lucca provides Maia with another argument to make. She came prepared. (Lucca’s so good and so quick on her toes. I bet she’ll be moving up the ranks quickly. She deserves to.)

Diane does, in fact, decide to visit Henry (whom she calls Hank) in prison. It’s hard to see him in an orange jumpsuit.

They end up talking about the case. Henry also mentions they went to college together. But WHERE? “I’m telling you the truth,” Henry insists.

Henry explains that it’s all Jax’s fault and his lawyer won’t use that as a defense strategy. Henry wants Diane to represent him, and she says no—he needs someone objective. About time someone on this show realized that! What in the hell was Diane doing representing Peter Florrick in season 7?!?!?!?! On a case that involved her husband?!?! #StillBitter about how bad that trial arc was. It’s amazing I’m this bitter considering that I was never even invested in that arc!

Henry accepts that and asks about Maia. “She’s gonna blow us all away,” he says proudly. Diane wants Maia to stay away from her parents until the scandal gets sorted out, and Henry decides to mention that Lenore “doesn’t have years” because her breast cancer is back. This turns out not to be true, so I’m not sure who’s playing whom, but I don’t trust Maia’s parents. I especially don’t trust her mom, but I don’t think we’re supposed to.

Diane passes the information onto Maia, as Henry had to have known she would.

Meeting with the partners, Julius is furious that Lucca took on the COTW. Lucca makes the case for her actions, and Julius thinks it’s about her losing her office to a partner. That’s news to Diane. Lucca says it’s about a good case.

Meanwhile, Maia is doing her idea of working, which is calling Amy to ask a question that’s easily Googled. I mean ChumHummed. Amy even tells her to go look it up online when Maia asks for more information. I’m really not sure why Maia had to call Amy during the work day with a work question. I’m also not sure why this seems to have gotten under my skin.

Lucca brings Maia the bad news, but then reconsiders and tells her to go ahead anyway—on their own time. They’re going to attend a seminar on the method of questioning that was used to get their client to confess.

It’s total bullshit, as one would expect. Maia listens attentively, while Lucca doesn’t buy it for a second. I know why Maia’s tempted to believe in this—she wants to know if her parents are lying!—but I’m with Lucca on this one. She notes that since this method is about anxiety, not guilt/innocence, it’s an unreliable indicator of guilt. Who wouldn’t be anxious? Bingo. Maia wants to know if the same thing holds true if there’s no reason to be anxious (she’s not thinking about the case now). Lucca thinks people have tells but…

She doesn’t get to finish that thought, because she looks at the name tags of the fellow seminar attendees, and realizes they’re mostly middle managers at stores just like the one Frank works at. Now THERE’S a case.

“This is a massive class action,” she tells the partners the next day. Now, the partners are in favor of it and tell Lucca to go certify a class.

An aspect of TGF that I’m very excited about is the hierarchy at RBK. One thing that always strikes me as a smart structural choice when I rewatch season 1 of TGW is that Alicia and Cary feel like first year associates. There’s tension inherent in that, plus there’s the competition between them. They have less room for error, a lot to learn, and they have to take orders. As TGW goes on, Alicia takes on more responsibility at work and becomes more important to the firm, even becoming a partner. When she and Cary go out on their own, they both become name partners, and from then on, all the leads who are lawyers are of equal rank. The conflicts are different at that level—scheming and backstabbing instead of trying to navigate a workplace hierarchy. I have to wonder if losing the hierarchy was part of what led to the firm nonsense in the later seasons of TGW.

TGF is set up differently. Instead of having two first year associates and two name partners as the regulars, we have: an assistant, a first year associate, a third year associate, a junior partner, and two name partners. Each character has a unique position, and thus unique expectations/goals/responsibilities/concerns, and I’m hoping this structure organically translates into tensions—and then plots—for the characters.

Diane encourages Adrian and Barbara to keep Maia on the case now that it’s a big deal. Adrian agrees, because everyone hating her is a great way to mold a fighter.

In reception, three black women wait to interview for the assistant job. “There may not even be a job here, I just want to warn you,” Marissa tells them. Oh my God, Marissa. Do you even know how that came across?!?!?!? Do you know how rude and clueless and privileged you’re being?!  

Marissa senses that, if she wants to be Diane’s assistant, she’s going to need to help out in a big way. She asks Maia and Lucca what the case is, and isn’t she in luck? It’s about retail workers. And what was Marissa doing last year? Working at a mall, making friends with lots of retail workers. Marissa may be a little obnoxious, but she is resourceful (which doesn’t excuse the cluelessness/obnoxiousness). And not just resourceful: she’s also good at talking to people, persistent, and comfortable in situations most people would avoid.

The head of the union is mad about the class. Now they need to find a new financer, so back to the algorithm boys we go!

Is it typical to use the first person who signs up for a class action as the test case? And to move this quickly? I would think you’d want to independently vet the test case as carefully as possible before deciding?

Algorithm boys don’t want to go for it because they don’t like the judge assigned to the case. “Your algorithm’s not taking into account that I’m a fucking good lawyer,” Adrian responds. Otherwise, the algorithm likes the case, so Adrian says he’s going to get a new judge.

“We’re going to court. Fuck the union,” Adrian declares, walking into Diane’s office. He points at Maia and tells her she’s second chair.

They’re having trouble finding people for the class, and at the moment Maia and Diane tell Adrian, Marissa appears with a list of people who are on board. “And there are two more people here to be interviewed,” she says, knowing she just got herself the job. “Who was that?” Adrian asks. “My new assistant,” Diane decides.

In court, Adrian asks the judge to recuse himself. Why? Because he lost money in the Rindell fund, and Maia’s second chair.

The judge recuses himself, and now Abernathy is presiding. Fun bit of trivia: Abernathy’s first episode was W1x02. Now he’s in F1x02. His quirk in this episode is that he has to wear his prescription sunglasses.

Opposing counsel is Andrea Stevens, the woman who kept telling Lucca she loved her hair in TGW season 7.

Case stuff happens! It goes well for Lucca et al.

“Good to see you’re still at it,” Andrea tells Lucca after court. How condescending. Why wouldn’t Lucca still be at it?

“It’s, uh, Mia, right?” Andrea says to Maia, damn well knowing Maia’s name.

Andrea wants to talk to Lucca sometime. Lucca says they can talk now. Lucca assumes it’ll be a settlement offer, but Andrea just wants to know where Lucca gets her haircut. Andrea makes me so uncomfortable. She’s so fake.

Oh no, I just noticed that Maia’s phone says it’s March 9th. I’m kind of tempted to go back to the earlier scenes and see if the timeline matches, but… I’m good.

“It was just a scare,” Lenore tells Maia when they finally talk. Of course it was.

Maia tries to interrogate her mom. The shot gets tighter and tighter (on both Lenore and Maia) as they talk—Maia’s definitely trying to apply that interrogation method she learned about. But it’s inconclusive.

Later, Maia and Amy are in bed together. Amy plays with Maia’s hair as Maia talks about her conversation with her mom. “I don’t know if she’s lying or not,” Maia says. “About the cancer?” Amy wonders. “No, about the fund,” Maia clarifies.

“We were always the boring family. All my friends, their parents were divorcing or having affairs, and I used to lie about mom and dad fighting so that I wouldn’t seem so weird. And now… it’s like we’re paying for all those years of happiness,” Maia explains. I was just watching Robert King talk about this scene, and it’s interesting to me that he puts some of the blame on Maia for not sensing it earlier. Were they really happy, or was she just content to think they were? How much has her privilege allowed her to keep her eyes shut and not question the world around her?

Maia and Amy are great together. I can’t wait to learn more about Amy. She seems like she’s a bit older than Maia. How long have they been together? Who pays for that lovely apartment? When did they move in together?

Case stuff happens.

Maia’s so nervous at first in court. She speaks haltingly and quietly. Then, when she’s asked to speak up, she speaks too loudly. I feel you, Maia.

Barbara notices that Marissa is acting as Diane’s assistant. “Diane. You didn’t like any of the applicants?” Barbara wonders. “It’s just that I know Marissa,” Diane explains. We, of course, understand why Marissa is a tempting pick for Diane: she’s familiar, reliable, and just saved their ass on this case. Those are good reasons to hire someone. But Marissa’s also white, probably unqualified for this job (did she even go to college?), and the daughter of a well-known campaign manager. It’s the same thing that happened with Maia last week, but now it’s looking like a pattern. Diane is the only white person at RBK, and she immediately begins to bring more white people over, just as Barbara suspected she would.

Andrea Stevens makes a settlement offer for Frank, but it’s only good if they drop the class. As Andrea leaves, Lucca calls after her. “I have an answer for you now,” she says. Playing Andrea’s game, she proceeds to hand her the number for her hair stylist.

The algorithm boys don’t want to take the settlement. This turns out to be a bad move, because… Frank has a history of stealing from employers.

“I hate losing,” Maia says after court. She’s also confused because she thought Frank was telling the truth. “Maybe he was. About the running shoes,” Diane theorizes. “You know people can lie and still be telling the truth. Nobody’s 100% of any one thing,” Diane continues. I like this advice more than her advice from last week.

“My mom lied about her cancer,” Maia confides in Diane. “It was a scare. It wasn’t real. She just wanted to see me.”

“She’s lonely,” Diane explains. “People get desperate when they’re lonely. You should go see her.”

Maia takes Diane’s advice, but maybe she shouldn’t have, because when she gets to her family home, she finds her mom in a nightgown (one of those nightgowns that look so much like lingerie I wonder if anyone actually wears them). Lenore suggests breakfast the next morning, and tries to rush Maia out. Maia asks whose car is parked outside, and Lenore lies. Then Jax—Maia’s uncle—walks in. Uh oh.

I’d be more invested in this cliffhanger if I ever cared about these ongoing arcs.  

[kaleidodreams]

40 Questions - Meme for Fic Writers

Well, I only got one ask for this game, but I really wanted to answer more questions, so I’ve just decided to answer all of them!

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic. - I don't know if I really have a "comfort zone"... Maybe family drama and dealing with characters' backstories?

2. Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to? - Hmm, fake dating seems like it would be pretty fun to try to write. I just wouldn't know which characters to use.

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole? - The whole A/B/O thing... Yeah, no.

4. How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them? - Maybe five or six? And you can check out the answer to Question 37 if you want to know what most of them are.

5. Share one of your strengths. - People seem to like my original characters.

6. Share one of your weaknesses. - I'm not very good at description.

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. - This is from Ashes to Ashes:

However, the more time that passed, the more otou-sama lost himself in his work and the more distant we became. Our house, which had always been full of laughter and smiles when okaa-sama was alive and healthy, might as well have been a cemetery itself, the ghost of her memory haunting us who remained. Even as young as I was, I realized that otou-sama would never be able to truly recover from his grief as long as we stayed there, where the scent of okaa-sama's favorite perfume still seemed to linger in the air and every room remained a museum to the woman who once lived there because otou-sama couldn't bear the thought of putting her things away.

I just really like the "house is a cemetery" metaphor. (By the way, that story is written from Rei Hino’s point of view, if that wasn’t clear from the title.)

8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it. - This is from To Build a Home:

"Take if off and put it back the way it was," he ordered, crossing his arms over his chest.

"But why? You always said my bed looked so cute."

"Yeah, your bed. But this is my bed, and I don't want it to look cute."

"Your bed?" She set down an ugly-cute hippo plush and arched an eyebrow. "Isn't it our bed now?"

He rubbed at his temple. "Yes, of course, but… You know what I mean." Mamoru pointed an accusing finger at a very familiar blanket – one that was too small to properly fit the queen-sized bed. "I am not having sex on a bed covered in bunnies and crescent moons!"

"That's never stopped you before. We did it all the time –"

"You're missing the point, Usako! We're adults now. Isn't it about time you outgrew all this cutesy crap?"

He regretted it as soon as the words left his mouth.

"Oh, I see. I can move into your oh-so-sophisticated apartment, just not my 'cutesy crap'." She grabbed an empty cardboard box from off the floor and started throwing her plush toys in it with a force that made Mamoru very glad she wasn't pummeling them at him. "If that's how you really feel, then maybe we shouldn't move in together at all!"

I like it because I tend to have trouble writing arguments, but this one turned out exactly how I wanted it to, and I can just picture the scene so vividly.

9. Which fic has been the hardest to write? - Hmm, probably Melting Ice? It took me about eight years -- I started writing it a couple of years before I actually started posting it -- to finally finish the whole thing. Sure, it’s a long fic (over 150,000 words), but in comparison, I managed to write Spirit of Fire, which is almost twice as long, in only two or three years (ignoring the side stories added later).

10. Which fic has been the easiest to write? - Probably my first fics because back then I wasn’t as self-conscious about my writing. But later in my career, I seem to recall Blood On His Hands being really easy and fast to write until I got to the last chapter. Honestly, I think the ending took me longer to figure out than the rest of the story!

11. Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby? - Both!

12. Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more? - This is easiest to choose with Sailor Moon, so can I just say the entire SuperS season/Dream Arc? Obviously because of the Chibiusa/Helios OTP factor, but also because we learn about the Inners’ families and Elysion/the Golden Kingdom, both subjects that I love exploring.

13. What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across? - I learned about this from a post on Tumblr, but it’s REALLY helpful to run your story through a screen reader (I just use Google Translate). I think I’m pretty good at catching spelling and grammar errors, but one thing I have trouble with is missing words. Hearing the story read aloud instead of just reading it to myself and mentally filling in the blanks makes the skips so much easier to find. I also worry a lot about the flow of my writing, so I figure if it doesn’t sound too terrible being read by a computer, it’s probably not as awful as I think it is!

14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across? - Probably the "avoid adverbs" rule. Sometimes using an adverb is the best choice!

15. If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose? - Oh, man, this is totally impossible to choose... Um, To Be By Your Side? I really don't know.

16. If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be? - If I had to, I would no doubt pick Chibiusa/Helios, but I’m really glad I don’t! I enjoy being able to write a variety of couples and imagine I would get bored fairly quick if I was limited to just writing one OTP forever, as much as I may love them.

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order? - It depends on the story, but most of the time it’s out of order, which is frankly annoying, but it seems to work for me.

18. Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines? - Not really, unless you count screenwriting and research tools.

19. Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse? - Haha, I remember when I first started writing fanfiction as a teenager, there were four characters I considered my muses: Helios (obs!), Shigure from Fruits Basket (who is a writer himself), Touya from Card Captor Sakura, and Tooya from Ceres: Celestial Legend (not sure why, though, since I never wrote for Ceres). I guess I would still consider Helios my muse?

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions. - At my desk in my bedroom, with the room at a comfortable temperature and absolute quiet.

21. How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting? - I tend to edit while I write, which I know isn’t generally considered the best way to do things, but it works for me. So I can’t really answer this question definitively.

22. Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions). (Skipping this one unless someone wants to make a suggestion for a passage.)

23. If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why? - Spirit of Fire, because while I love the story and the characters, I think it could be better written, especially the earlier chapters.

24. Have you ever deleted one of your published fics? - I did take down a first chapter of a planned multi-part and reworked it into a one-shot when I decided I didn’t want to write the rest of it, if that counts. (The Legend, if you’re interested.) Otherwise, no.

25. What do you look for in a beta? - Basically someone who wants to beta for me. *laughs* Like I said before, I consider myself pretty good at catching spelling and grammar goofs, so I don't feel like I really need a beta, but if someone offers, it doesn't hurt to have a second pair of eyes!

26. Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you? - I've done so in the past, and if somebody asks me, I would probably be willing to do it again. I would say I focus mainly on spelling/grammar, occasionally making suggestions or asking questions if something seems off (like a character feels OOC or something).

27. How do you feel about collaborations? - I've never really been a part of one, so I don't have much of an opinion. If you're good friends, it seems like it would be a lot of fun, but maybe a bit difficult if you have different styles.

28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much. - his lordship Chaos, Allekha, and commas_and_ampersands 

29. If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose? - I honestly can’t think of any. I have enough sequels and prequels of my own stuff to write! *laughs*

30. Do you accept prompts? - Not unless I’m doing a drabble game, which I haven’t done in years, or I’m taking part of some writing challenge. Just random prompts, though? No. I like to write what I want to write.

31. Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant? - I’d say I’m middle-of-the-road between the two, closer to being strict about being canon compliant.

32. How do you feel about smut? - Despite being asexual, I’m a fan!

33. How do you feel about crack? - A lot of it is really stupid, but with the right writer and idea, crack can be brilliantly funny. I usually only read it on recommendation, though.

34. What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con? - It’s not something I go looking for as a reader, but I don’t mind if I come across it and it’s handled well. I’ve written some dub-con myself, mostly in the form of drunk sex, but also some incidents involving magic. Overall, though, I’m really a HUGE fan of consent when it comes to sex scenes. Consent is sexy!

35. Would you ever kill off a canon character? - Yes, of course. Done it before and I’ll probably do it again!

36. Which is your favorite site to post fic? - I like AO3 and FF.net equally well.

37.Talk about your current wips.

Friends With Benefits (Kaleido Star) - This is the only WIP I’m actively posting. It’s a sequel to Blood On His Hands, and it’s about Layla and Yuri engaging in a, well, “friends with benefits” arrangement, leading to complications when they fall in love. 

The Bonds We Choose (Yuri!! On Ice) - A sequel to It’s Complicated, taking place about four years later. Yuri, Otabek, and Mila have settled into their unusual relationship -- Yuri and Otabek are queerplatonic partners while Otabek is also dating/living with Mila -- when a drunken mistake at the Olympics changes their lives forever.

Metamophosis (Sailor Moon) - This is kinda a prequel to To Be By Your Side, telling the story of how Helios became priest of Elysion.

Stolen Dreams (Sailor Moon) - Ha, this is the only non-sequel/prequel story on the list! But it’s about an incubus who plans to get revenge on Helios by seducing a grown-up Chibi-Usa, who’s under a lot of stress due to her upcoming college entrance exams.

38. Talk about a review that made your day. - I was really happy when @floraone favorited and wrote a review for my Sailor Moon Smutember entry, Head of the Class. Knowing that someone like her, who IMO writes the BEST sex scenes I’ve ever read, enjoyed it... Well, like the question said, it really made my day! I also was pleasantly surprised to get any reviews at all for my last two YOI fics, Lonely Hearts and No Risk, No Reward, since Minako/Celestino and Sara/Emil are both extremely rare pairs. I seriously didn’t think anybody would read them, so I was thrilled with the reviews I got.

39. Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them? - Occasionally, and I just ignore them.

40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one). (Again, skipping, unless someone wants to suggest a story.)

[datingadviceonreddit]

To start, I’ll begin with my background. I’m a 25 year old woman who became single for the first time since I was 18 just this last September. I have been single and on my own now for a whole year and let me tell you, I have learned a lot and have gone through a lot in that time.When I was 18 back in 2012, Tinder had just been released. Since I was that young and in a relationship, it was something that I had really no grasp on and what I knew about it always came from my single friends. After my first relationship ended, I downloaded Tinder for the very first time and met my last partner within a week and then promptly deleted Tinder. Because of that short stint on the app, I wasn’t on it long enough to actually date for real. Then that second relationship ended last year. With that being said, I didn’t know how to date. I have never actually dated. Last year, I entered into the dating scene without any actual knowledge about dating. But now that a year has passed (rather quickly I’d say), I would like to share what I have learned. Hopefully, y’all find it helpful.Dating shouldn’t be hard and it shouldn’t be unenjoyable. Dating should be something you can learn from and have fun with. You know a majority of the best memes come from dating mishaps. And memes are essentially unifying in human misery. It’s modern comedy but I digress.1. PICK THE RIGHT APP/WEBSITES AND DO YOUR RESEARCH. There is Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, OKCupid, The League, Match, eHarmony, FarmersOnly, ChristianMingle, CoffeeMeetsBagel, Happn, Zoosk, Grindr, etc…There are so many places to date and meet people and you need to research which platform is going to be best for you and what sort of activity on that platform is going on in your city. Don’t just randomly pick one. Then don’t pick multiples to be on. Just pick one. If at all, have only two. The more apps/profiles you have, you will drive yourself insane and get obsessive. You don’t want to get too attached and over zealous about your profile. You need to maintain a level-head. I would have 3-4 profiles going at once and I would be on them constantly and losing my shit. Since moving to being on only 1-2 apps, I would say, it’s been a lot easier to manage my time as well when it comes to dating.2. MAKE SURE YOUR PROFILE IS 10/10 (HAVE YOUR FRIENDS HELP YOU AND GIVE YOU ADVICE). This is what makes or breaks most people and tragically, most people are not willing to do their best with this. You need to be able to represent yourself accurately and well. You want to appear confident, fun, interesting, and unique. Picking good photos is important. Do not and I repeat do NOT do mirror selfies. Most advice pieces online state this and it’s true. The only reason you should have a mirror selfie is if you don’t have a recent full body picture. The caveat for this exception is that you need to look well-dressed and be in a CLEAN bathroom…preferably at a nice restaurant, museum, or somewhere cool because then it looks like you just took that selfie on a day out while doing something fun. But honestly, stay away from the mirror. NO CAR PICTURES. For the love of god, no photos of JUST your car. Nobody cares what car you drive. And then don’t take a selfie in your car. Please don’t do this. Like attracts like. You need to be able to present yourself well to the kinds of people you want to attract. So have a photo of you with your friends or doing something you like to do. But never lead with a group photo. In this order: a candid or a headshot (NOT A SELFIE), a group photo, an activity/hobby shot, a full body picture (with a group or you by yourself), and last but not least…a selfie. A selfie is how YOU see yourself and how you want others to see you. A selfie should always be last. Aside from photos, have a good bio! Include something positive. State what you are looking for and what you like to do in your free time. Include enough details to make it seem like your care enough about your profile. Also, don’t be negative. Don’t say “I’m not here for games.”, “I’m not here for hookups.”, etc. Just be honest about what YOU want. Oh…and don’t list your Snapchat username or Instagram handle…it then looks like your giving it out to everyone which means you ain’t picky and have no standards on who you allow into your social life. It’s fucking weird and I don’t understand why people do this. Access to your social life isn’t a right, it’s a privilege. It also looks and screams trashy to me. I would think most people would agree with this. But I guess I might be wrong considering how often I see this phenomenon.3.DO NOT MESSAGE INSTANTLY AFTER MATCHING/MAKING A CONNECTION AND LET CONVERSATION COME NATURALLY (DO NOT FORCE IT). When you make a match or connection, you’re going to want to instantly message. I would strongly suggest waiting anywhere from an hour to a day depending on the urgency of the platform you’re using. Having restraint and not coming off too eager is going to suit you well. When you do send a message first, also make sure it’s a fun greeting. Say something that you don’t think that person would hear on a daily basis. A fun fact, maybe if you know another language, greet them in that language or something. Don’t say “Hey! Whats up?” You want them to have fun too. Now, either your conversation will take off and you’ll plan a date (which I suggest sooner rather than later) or the conversation will die and neither of you will meet. WHICH IS FINE. Nobody is entitled to anybody’s time. This isn’t a prisoner/warden situation. Respect your match and their time. Also, respect yours. Do not obsess over whether or not you will meet this person or not. Chances are that you won’t ever meet a majority of your matches. I had 55 matches on Tinder stint and probably only met less than 10 of them in a two month span. That’s less than 5%. And oddly enough, during that stint I dated 0 of them longterm. If you accept that you’re not going to click with everyone you match/meet/try to date, you’re going to have a better time. It should always go without saying...if you no longer want to see someone after having met them once or more...PLEASE DO NOT GHOST. Just be honest. If you haven't met and don't talk a lot? Then you can ghost. But if you have met, do that person the a favour if they think nothing is wrong. Be honest and don't be an asshole. Also, if you're going to ghost yet you have them on social media...just remove them from your social media. Stop following them on Instagram. Orbiting is worse than ghosting. It's also weirdly pathetic. They aren't you friend and your not theirs. If you choose to watch their stories and like their pictures but can't manage to be up front about your desires to not date them let alone be just friends (if that's what you want), you probably need to have some shit worked through on your own.4.DO NOT BE ACTIVE ON YOUR CHOSEN PLATFORM (LIMIT YOUR USAGE TO 15-30 MINUTES A DAY). In order to maintain your sanity, do not check the platform unless you have a notification. If you have a notification and have an ongoing conversation that looks like it is going somewhere potentially, try to give them your number or another way of communicating. You want to get off the app, so be proactive when need be in this regard. The less active you are not the app, the less likely you are to get obsessive compulsive while using it. Do not take it seriously, this is supposed to be fun. A notification should excite you. Not make you nervous or fiend out.5.BE CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF AND WHAT YOU WANT (EVERYONE IS INSECURE BUT NOBODY WANTS TO DATE INSECURE). You are a human being. We all have hard times and are insecure about things. But the whole point of dating is trying to get someone to see you for how you actually are. You’re not you’re insecurities. You are so many amazing things and you want a partner to see that the way a friend sees it. Don’t say anything bad about yourself. At least not seriously. If you’re one with a comedic streak, a self deprecating joke CAN be funny in the right context but don’t over do it. Highlight your humility. With that also being said, you need to make sure that YOU are your NUMBER ONE FOCUS. Right now, this is about YOU making sure YOU get what you want. Hopefully, you have a career or are working on it, going to school, pursuing a dream, etc…this is self-confidence. Love yourself and where you are at in life. You need to be able to convey not only to yourself but to others that you have your shit together and love your life. Another caveat, if you’re not confident, not in a place to date, or have a lot of personal issues…it should go without saying that you probably aren’t ready to date. If you don’t feel ready…it’s because you aren’t and you should allow yourself time to prepare. Relationships are work. Dating shouldn’t be. If you put dating above yourself, you are dooming yourself.6.LISTEN TO YOUR GUT, HEART, AND HEAD (AND YOUR FRIENDS). Honestly, most people these days don’t know how to listen to their gut. Our intuition and ability to understand communication and situations is grossly neglected. This combined with dating makes most single people out there dating clueless about how to handle anything in regard to prospective romantic relationships. When you meet someone you click with? You’ll know. If you think something is too good to be true? It probably is. If you didn’t see something coming? Lies! You were not following your intuition. If someone isn’t vibing with you the same way after a week, it’s because they probably aren’t feeling you anymore. AND THAT IS OKAY! It’s fine. Not everyone is going to stick around. But it needs to be accepted that if it’s not happening now, it’s not going to change. You can’t make someone want to stay. Ever. I learned this the hard way this year. When you neglect your instincts, not only are your allowing yourself to be more susceptible to pain and let down, you are losing the opportunity to actually be happy.7.THE LESS YOU CARE ABOUT DATING, THE MORE FUN DATING CAN BECOME (DATING IS ABOUT THE EXPERIENCE NOT THE OUTCOME). Don’t go into a date thinking it’s an interview, don’t go into a date thinking you’ll get married, don’t go into a date thinking it won’t be fun. Go into a dating thinking you might make a new friend or having a new experience. Remove all pressure and negative attitude. Enjoy the process and enjoy your life. Don’t be afraid of rejection, embrace it. But also, don’t let fear of rejection keep you from enjoying the process. We live in a crazy world and you never know what is going to happen next. Love life, love yourself, and be confident. When actually going on dates, keep things light and simple. Let the connection grow in time if it’s there. Good things come in time. But if nothing happens after a date or two? That’s fine. Does that change your confidence or ability to have fun? It shouldn’t and if it does, go back to step 5.I know all of this seems like it might be old hat but this has been my own guide to dating and so far, I’ve not been stressed about dating. I’m living my life and focusing on myself. If I happen to meet someone? Cool. But in the mean time, I’ve been going back to school and enjoying being young. This isn’t a time to be willingly stressed over dating. Dating isn’t something that should be a chore. It should be a fun activity.Anyways, good luck y’all and stay happy <3 via /r/dating_advice