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queenofallwitches · 3 years

Text

an update and primer:

so the last winter was weird. I had a complete breakdown, went into psychiatric hospital for 40 days in total. two seperate times.

learnt a heap of new things, met a tonne of cool people and had amazing conversations and few fights but overcome my own demons by that.

brain speaking-I have a scarred brain stem and neurological disorder is not a mental diagnosis, but a neurological disorder, proven by MRI scan, ADHD.

also damage to my basal ganglia, and prefrontal cortex.

neurological diagnosis means ADHD is not a "mental" health issue, as some believe, rather a neurodevelopment disorder caused by structural differences in the ADHD brain.

other neurodevelopment disorders include: Tourettes, Autism, Cerebal Palsy, Dyslexia and other Motor and Intellectual Disabilities. (Which recieve, in my view, a lot of insight, media information and stigma reduction by the advocacy networks surrounding these types of disability).

Over the last few years Autism has been over everything, I've seen mainstream media cover Tourettes and yet ADHD is still HUGELY misunderstood, misconceived and misrepresented in media, be in from the angle of documentaries, personal insight of a "typical" case, films, tv, and other media.

one of the first things my dr told me was "in females it rarely presents as hyperactive red-cordial OD child"

which is what my mother BELIEVES, that is because I have an adopted cousin with the ADHD dx who was that growing up, but the representation I'm told is also divergent for women with a higher IQ score than the average IQ. I come in around 142 and tested 123 at age 3 when I was unable to focus, pay attention and had severe trauma. I tested 142 in grade 8.

I'll share my experience as a female who is intellectually gifted, with higher IQ than average, and an adhd brain:

I've been told gifted and talented "genius" children are harder to diagnose because the symptoms present differently, we hide it better (camouflage) and our focusing can be "faked" by mediocre efforts of academic success.. this is true, I would do the assignment the Sunday night hours deadline, last minute, or have my parents half do it for me, plagiarise it (fuck I've killed my whole academic career now) copied but changed my words

from old 1970s encyclopaedias I KNEW they couldn't cross reference (I went through 15 years of school never studying doing homework or assignments and still had top grades).

I literally did not listen, and spent my classes planning the end of the world survival strategies with my GT friend who, basically helped me with my calculus and hard fucking maths, which was the ONLY 50 minutes of the day I put attention into my work.

now I'm going to be heading back to full-time study in the coming months, I get anxious as the pressure of a Bachelor level degree, and the pressure it takes me to perform, is enough to break me down. I've been advised it might be wise to start light (like a basic vet style diploma) and then build up, which is logical, but I keep thinking I'm meant to be doing my thesis by now. which is the kind of pressure one gets as a kid who is told repeatedly, "your intelligence is exceedingly the average and you can do ANYTHING you want"

I wanted to be an astronaut, a storm chaser, and an architect, a town planner and then a journalist. I always held to being a "FBI agent" or spy (I wonder why). so when I found psychology is really a blend of all these things, I kinda found a niche in a psych and social science double degree. but I'm thinking my academic career is LIFELONG, and due to the fact I also want to work in my field alongside my many written thesis coming, I'll be in academics for a long time. I may fail a few things, which I have to come to terms with. I do not fail easily, or readily, but I'm a perfectionist type-a academic who will put my whole life on the line to achieve "merit". I get exams, I get assessments, I read journals super-easy, I talk the talk and walk the walk so well psychologists who are at masters level compliment me on my "knowledge".

when it comes to mental health and trauma, I will always have the personal attachment, called lived experience, which will make failure and burnout, 100 percent realistic. I have to boundary up, bootstraps on, and prepare that yes, my personal "bias" will probably be entwined in this.

which is why I'm looking at the social science for the statistics and thesis writing side of things, and the counselling for the trained therapist side. either way, the degree of counselling requires so much self-insight, and then the social-science will back me away from personifying it. the other choice is criminology, which leads to forensic psychology, which is eternally fascinating. my main concern is the pro-pedophile content Ill be up against, which will look at the anatomy of a shoplifter akin to the devil, and leave the pedophile in the DSM-5 dx "paraphilia" box.

I'm not joining or jumping to anything.

either way I've got 2 year of credit, a heap of pathways and a lot of "academic momentum" from all my life being aimed to be "academic powerhouse". I went through my files and found a lot of awards I'd won in my high school, and top place in the competitions we would be entering in. I remember feeling so sad if I had a "credit" vs a distinction or high distinction, only to see now, a credit in university maths in year 9 is a skillset I don't have anymore so, good on me. or a credit in English, or Science at that age was pretty impressive, considering these tests were random and not studied for.

just a general skills assessment only the top 30 kids in the year were to take on a year by year basis and put out to vet from the top universities and taken by other kids in the same grade around the state.

it puts so much focus on my intelligence, because it's primed to be that way, I know that is true. I know I feel good being academically successful and it gives me a feeling of "achievement" but is it really for me?

I also found 2 letters from my local politicians offering me job placement, work experience and I was 1/4 kids in my 10th grade graduation tom get the letter, and due to my behaviour I pissed ALL the idiots who bullied me off. I was "too pretty to be a nerd" "too smart to be pOpUlAr".

so I made a group of misfits, who are all highly intelligent, creative and my group had the ONLY gay male in the school AND THIS IS BEFORE YOU FUCKING RETARDS MADE IT "COOL". he was bullied badly, so fuck you, you fucks claim "liberalism" but I bet you were the type of idiot who bullied guys like him in high school while you pretended to like my chemical romance and fake cut yourselves. I hate you all, forever.

my grade was full of idiots who were fake emo, who left the scene the moment the scene changed to dub-step and club music. I was there, watching you all, like sonny Moore, went from FFTL to that dubstep skrillex shit he started in 2009.

I dated you, hooked up with you and I went to your gigs. I know who was real and who was fake. I met some of you years later and realised the more emotive ones were the less "alternative appearing".

I can say 1/10000 emo guys from the 00s were genuinely Into the music and scene for the right reasons based on my dating history and this can and will be analysed statistically using SPSS one day to prove a lot. I've had too many relationships from each sub-culture and I have had 4-11 males at a time per public "output" of my energy pursue me over life.

I'm not being cocky when I say I have a long line of "suitors" and its banked back about 50 men. it's been a thing I've avoided as it seems to grow based on my body shape, attitude, appearance, so I am currently out of touch with dating scenes, no interest to try that ANYWAY, given the fact that I have had so many LONG TERM relationships ANYWAY. I can't see another one going well, and at this case, I'm living with an ex but we never went on conventional and now our families label this 3 things: "asexual", "polyamorous" and "open relationship". I'm also "bisexual" but this all to humans outside, looks ridiculous on paper. (wild orgies and lots of swinging or some stupid sex magick probably is what J brother literally thinks we do).

bc humans are intrinsically designed to need to label things they don't understand. we share a lease, not a relationship, and fucking polyamorous, I WISH. there are no girl-girl-guy 3 some, or orgies, or sex magic parties.

this has changed the attitude and perception of this "relation' which Is non-romantic, non-sexual. he can date and likely, will, as can I , and I likely won't date.

I would say 14/15 have had ADHD, or other mental illness and or trauma. which means to me, nothing at all.

I think this "open book" non romantic relationship style of "friends and roommates" not sexual.

attachment is misunderstood by others but works well fro my adhd, meaning I'm not expected to marry, or be a wife in any capacity. he is free to do what he wants, as I am, and open communication is a novel frontier I brought into this in the start, and stayed with for the duration. we fight, but I fight with a lot of people in my life over many petty things. also down to my adhd, I believe, I have rejection sensitive dysphoria, which makes me hypersensitive to rejection, perceived or real.

im not sure if this is trauma or adhd or both. but

I have used sexuality as a weapon in many relationships but it cannot or will not be used here, so I have had to resort to uncovering parts of myself which I never knew, which will stay with me even if he decided to marry and wife up in 5 years, which I'm okay and expecting him to do, and I would much rather that then be trapped in a situation where I cannot be that "wife/mother archetype" as I'm too "femme fatal/other-woman/sex-laced seductress and siren" a "FWB, unicorn, drug buddy, hook-up where im a therapist" or "intellectual and cognitive mind-bender work-study obsessed woman".

both at once and many types of human, including one who is a full-time ceremonial magician of 7 years. I will drink, drug, fuck, fight like males and still be more feminine and high maintenance than 89% of women. I grew up a tomboy and don't mind getting into fun, adventure based situations, like hiking, or anything adrenaline, I would only be reluctant to eat weird shit.

I also have many "neurological" issues including ADHD, and trauma which causes a rupture in the average human and I dating.

I'll tell you how many men have said "you are the unicorn" and then realised what that means, I went as far as canvasing the PUA world back in 2014 after reading the game, a book on PUA, which is essentially, pick up artistry, based on NLP and hypnosis. I did this after reading the copy my ex in 2008 handed me before we dated saying "I gave this up for you". it took me years to open the book, buy when I did I truly believed the only way I would fall in love again, was through PUA. that failed in so many ways but gave me a training foundation for men who were candidates for that, I have trained up J, and the way that sounds is BAD. I know, but I got a lot of value myself, I just don't see it how I wanted to see it.

but that was my original intent, and I achieved this he knows that, knew it was happening and evolved for the best self.

I am thinking we can modulate this into a business model for how I was operating in the BDSM world was mainly psychological, not physical.

I get told all of is incredibly intimidating (I am told) to women and men.

I don't really care anymore, because people have always seen this part of me in the wrong way ANYWAY, but I own who I am NOW. which is what I needed ANYWAY. so it cannot be stolen again, and sexual healing has come from abstinence ironically.

I also don't care what or who is trying to tear up my relations, toxic or not toxic, all people around me will be on a healing journey by default, or cut out of my life, for I am radiating that energy so brightly its impossible NOT to feel that pull.

I will drag your shadows into the light, and make your secrets spin from your lips into my consciousness. its not what I do but its what is design.

I make your weaknesses mountains to climb over. you cannot hide from these in my presence, I won't be this controlling or obsessive female who wants 24-7 attention as I have a life full of meaning without love or sex. I don't want to be wined, dined or expensively gifted, unless specially requested.

I don't want love letters or romantic declarations, this isn't some femnazi bullshit, but it triggers me. I appreciate the efforts and won't make you feel bad about your insecurities, for mine are probably 30 x more pronounced.

I appreciate small things, that most males won't or don't know how to do. like remembering things I've said and being thoughtful. or knowing my silence isn't personal, or a game, but a protective wall. I've had songs sung too me, guitars played, songs written, or things made in ways that are heartfelt. but I've always had them used against me too. so it is the context. I value time, energy, conversations of depth and reciprocal exchange. I also value trauma understanding, my alters and fragments being accepted and valued as me as a whole and a person who is not afraid, or scared of stupid stuff like sensitivity, emotions, feelings as raw as my own. men feel intensely too, lol.

but will only give oral sex 100 times before I don't recieve it, I can communicate now so that wouldn't happen.

but I won't be a bitch about this stuff. I am extremely feminine and care in ways other people, do not, I forget nothing people tell me, so it can be a reward or reverse uno card pull in a fight, but I am not evil or deviant in my relations. I react, depending on how you treat me. I don't need your money, or providing source of income to be okay as I am my own queen, however sharing resources is okay to build something. I don't need to be seduced, but will need to be shown a person is trustworthy.

few cross that.

that will always be time-endurance and testing. there are ground rules I don't play with, or play games. or like being forced or forged into something I'm not. I know abusive and I know safe, and I am a psychology expert, trained psychotherapist and study humans for fun, so I'll always be analysing things.

and I know red flags and I know ego, I know how to placate and please and pleasure, but will only do so, for a bigger and better reason than the mere act of seduction. which is without value and transactional to someone like me, I won't lie.

and I know every tactic in the book, for the book was written by someone like me, many lives ago, and my karma is being burnt for that book.

in terms of walls, I have many, may it be called a maze. or labrnyth.

I will teach you things you never thought you'd know, and change your life in ways you won't ever be able to go back to before. I will blow your mind, sexually, emotionally, intellectually, on all levels, and I'll make your friends and family love me.

I'll bring your walls down and you won't be able to understand this, because you don't understand me, and thats ok.

but I'll always understanding you and make your life better because thats what I do anyway, and people talk to me about things I will never share, as I keep secrets. I am jealous, of everything but, only because I am attached in a disorganised way, and working on that.(I won't even mention how man women or men don't know basic psychology of themselves). I also am a therapist , for my friends and family too.i should not be , but I am. I care, I listen, If you think I'm not listening, I'm still listening. sometimes I interrupt, because I have ADHD and I am horrible at resolute planning, or being "normal". but I don't want to be normal anyway. I need you to recognise and understand my shit, for that is what I do for everyone in my life, and I have helped more than I receive.

I'll probably accidentally give you therapy, but thats fine, because you will uncover your depths and find meaning in this. it's not something that goes bad unless you are fundamentally, evil, even the most abusive relationship I was in, was benefited from this process. yes he's still narcissistic, but he is self-aware. and did I benefit, never, just know the anatomy of self-proclaimed narc and I still can't hate him. will get my civil claim one day.

I will fuck your mind without meaning too. but thats because I fuck my own mind. but the meaning is made in the man- some find this highly offensive or personal (its not). I fuck minds by my own overthinking, or over perception on many levels of reality. so join the ride, or don't come along at all. because once the rollercoaster is in motion, I have no control of what may or may not happen. it's purely experimental.

I am experimental.

and the women who are judging me, are not any better.

look within, and shut the fuck up. self-improve and quit this jealous divide and conquer bitchiness. I HATE gossip, bitches, snitches and fakers.

I look to other women who are intellectually, physically and spiritually "individual". and find value in superior status to my own, which is something my narcissistic ex taught me.

I look for mentors, and teachers and people who will teach me how to improve myself, which I am fearful to reconnect after something is amazing and I can't give anything back of positive value. I am sorry I am working on that.

I won't devalue those below me, but I also need to be mutually benefiting from a relationship.

I dont drag people down, I may disappear if I feel I am doing this by mistake. I am flakey as fuck, and sorry for that. its anxiety and lack of perfectionism, so I am wrong and bad for this. I can change. will change.

if you can find value with my relation, personal professional or romantic, we can move into a symbiotic beneficial agreement based on mutual "terms". but many won't or cannot see this, nor do I impose my bullshit into the lives of randoms at this age.

I don't care if this is cruel, it's real.

I value loyalty, compassion, self-insight/awareness, someone who understands all parts-spirituality, metaphysics while still having intellectual & logical & analytical brain-sight.

I enjoy music, magick and learning new things.

I do not care about appearances I dont think ive dated based on one time. I do value connections and chemistry which is far-few between, I hate fakers. I smell insincerity miles away. but I do respect women who are well-presented, or beautiful, with hair beauty and makeup, I can't do this shit well, so I look up to those who are in professions who do it like art. I find them to be genius level queens who scare me.

I call out bad behaviour and make people uncomfortable if they are repressed. I will change you without even meaning too, I don't even need to date you. its just my presence, over time, amplified by the intensity of the dynamics.

I don't want simplicity, but I also don't need over complexity.

I value passion, independence, creativity, curiosity, problem-solving, deep-disscussions, shared adventures and some occasional risk-taking (lol), sensuality and sexuality for a common cause beyond physical pleasure. I like being taught but not micromanaged. I need my own independence, and need to be trusted with that. I hate being scolded for that like a child, or being pushed to change my ways to conform to societal values. which I will push back and refuse to do. which is not healthy. I don't adult like many others do, but I try to proceed in other ways. and learn to adult like normal people, accept me.

I also value myself, and how I can be celebrated, enhanced and improved vs. the opposite.

I give space, and have boundaries, and understand human psychology, sexuality and relationships in ways few others unless they are trained, can do.

I value MY time. so you can have space to value YOURS. I dont need to be in anyones pocket for a long time. I love being alone, and being around people who are stimulating, but draining people will be drained out of my life quicker than I intend. I am sorry for the people who felt I disappeared, when I was only trying to be 'fair', if I feel I'm a bad influence, I will work on myself until I'm not. I'm still working on it.

I also use this psychology awareness, to enhance communication, connection. you may or may not become an accidental guinea pig. I will be upfront that I am experimental, but that is part of the buy ticket and take the ride. lets work together. not apart.

I am coming from a place of love, and love is what I feel for my animals, which you will be adopting as children.which I want to stop experiments being done on. I love love, in all ways, but hate cruelty of animals and children, violence and suffering. I dont advocate justice, because I find life is fucking cruel, unfair and unjust. by default, so I focus on myself. what can be changed, and what I am able to do in my own locus on control. I will always find myself drawn to the outsiders, the misfits, the vagabonds, the misunderstood. I want to help people who are society, or socially, disadvantaged by trauma and mental illness, but only when I have ability to help myself.

it's a journey.

I will not date anyone who is cruel to animals, outside of specify magical sacrifice, there is not any place for that. nor will I date or fraternise with anything or anyone linked or associated with pedophilia. I won't judge anyone on anything that are outside animal cruelty and pedophilia. I don't and haven't. I keep on good terms with every ex, bar 1 whom I only apologised too this year. it felt good to do that. I change my behaviour.

I am open, but also highly attuned to both logical, factual, empirical , scientific worlds, and spiritual, intuitive, psychic and the "collective unconscious". I walk in both these realms, and I am "conventionally attractive". which puts a lot of pressure on me, to be "stupid". I am always dumbing myself down to fit into normality, but I look ridiculous if I do that so I peacock my intellect.

only to be misconceived.

I give up because I no longer care how anyone but MYSELF can see ME. I won't dumb myself down , but I can enhance you UP. prepare yourself for graded education, evolution and self-growth on mass scales.sorry not sorry.

that sucks for the people who want to be living vicariously through me, for making up to lost trauma years, for family who sold me out for the success I'd bring home, or fake trauma enmeshed friends, or whatever they want or need from me. I value my time and energy, and have given that in abundance, and if you want to be with nut only "one part of me that is alters". I can't provide that now. not sorry.

I have to work on something or not be in a dynamic at all.

I no longer can switch on demand to adapt for you, it will not be effective and that upsets a lot of people. especially now I'm sober. harder to handle this, as I see the world for its ways and why it is, more vividly. I haven't had alcohol for almost 2 months, although, I could drink, I haven't.

I can't do it, anymore. it, being, faking, my selves fronting to impress. I can't. I have no more left to give, and I'm expected by everyone to be a way I can't do it in the way they want.

I will go to another year long outpatient DBT, followed by 10 weeks of A-C-T therapy, and however many ECT OR TMS may or may not help. I'm told it won't (ect) work. but TMS, is something I am open too. but I am telling you, none of this psychotherapy, that will be based on dbt skills, day therapy, intensive skills training, recommencing my studying, and resuming "life worth living" will or can wipe the traumas I've "recovered" memories for.

I will also shut the fuck up, and tell nobody about this if you leave me alone, I told that to my family, and this is open letter to the watchers, stalkers and perps who read this openly as I track the hits on here and have 200+ visits a day every day for the last month. globally. no idea how or who you are but I think its the same people who called the police for the "ayreon song lyrics" seen to be a suicide not last October.

thanks for that wake up call, I have shut the fuck up, since December, more so now. I will burn the journals, or lock them up.

my recovery is not linear, not yet fully integrated and I trust nobody so I don't think my psychotherapy will be deep, I focus on things like ADHD AND my EDNOS. and dbt skills. I won't be talking about sexual traumas.

enjoy the update, and thanks for the "attention".

I have my goals, my work, my meaning and what my life should and could and will look like, but I will not share that with anyone. that means everyone right now.

I've been tested, traumatised and terrorised to the point of not-tolerant of anyone who may bring that back, and banish the fuck out of my sphere every moment I need.

take me as I am, or watch me as I go, which I will go, where I am not wanted I will remove myself, but I will find where I am celebrated because I create that.

I will rise up against all adversity every time but that is survival and that created a resilient and brave woman, in me. who will not be destroyed or decomposed by humans who are fundamentally fucking evil.

I gift you my truth, in progression, and give up the pain of the past.

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collectivefandomstuff · 4 years

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Hey mom! I’m stressed at 1am, any advice? I’m having trouble in school via studying sometimes it feels like we’re going from 0 to 100. And I need better study habits, do you have any advice? Bc sometimes it feels like I’m so afraid of failure that if I do study to my full potential (sounds weird) I feel like I loose the excuse of saying oh I got a bad score bc I goofed off. Like if I actually do all my effort to study and do bad, then is there something wrong with me??

(A/N: this answer is so long I almost feel ashamed to post it. I’m very sorry everyone. Anyway, if you’re looking for the concrete tips they’re at the end :) )

Hey :)

This doesn’t sound weird at all because I’m the exact same way. This way of thinking is actually more common than you’d think, and is often a part of the cognitive profile of perfectionism (btw, perfectionism isn’t that apt a name but I digress. Also, this way of thinking doesn’t mean you’re a perfectionist.). Anyway, I know a bunch of people who’ve experienced this, and the common factor isn’t fear of failure, but rather what it is you think you’re failing at. For example, I once told my therapist that I was super stressed over a bunch of stuff and I also had a paper I had to get done, and he asked me what would happen if I didn’t turn it in on time and I was like “academically? nothing. mentally? I wouldn’t be me anymore.” And that’s the stitch.

The people I know who struggle with this are often (though not exclusively) girls, and often people who’re pretty smart. They spent their childhood being told over and over that they were gifted, intelligent, and good at school. And back then, that was easy to live up to. They danced through the first few years of school without any issue, and enjoyed it a lot. They did their homework, understood stuff, and were usually “good kids”.

Now, we’re always growing and re-shaping our sense of self, but the foundations are lain when we’re children. So, when people around you keep identifying you as a smart/good student, then we start identifying ourselves like that too. Especially if it is being reinforced by your actual achievements. And then, suddenly, getting good grades isn’t about doing well or working hard, it’s about identity. It’s about who you are at your core. Thus, the stakes become infinitely higher. If you fail at a math test that you really studied for, then that means that you don’t have what it takes, and that means you are no longer yourself- the intelligent kid who’s good at school. A test might not be that anxiety-inducing, but losing your whole sense of self is. So, in that case procastination makes a lot of sense, because as long as you don’t fail while doing your best then you never put your identity on the line.

(This also applies if failing at school has become synonymous with being a failure, i.e. if you’ve been taught that doing well academically is the only way to be a successful/useful person in society, or if academic success has merged with the idea of a happy future so it feels like failing autmatically leads to an unhappy life. Essentially, mental structures that lead to a misconception of the stakes involved in a single exam/paper/task.)

That said, I do have some more practical things to say here. First off, sometimes we’re in a situation where we can’t do our best and that’s okay. I’ve failed exams, tests, papers, you name it and I still have my degree in the end. It’s never the end all of things.

Now, my own biggest freak out like this came when I started uni. My first paper I went completely insane and procrastinated like crazy, and I failed. And then the though crept in “what if I can’t do this? What if this is it. I can’t handle higher education, even if I try my hardest?” The anxiety was... big bad and mad.

I should say for this next part that my therapist once told me that I have a strangely aggressive approach to handling anxiety. Moving on. I sat down and said to myself “what is worse, to try my hardest and fail or half-ass it and never be able to live the life I want?” Since the answer was pretty obvious, I got to it. I had about 5 weeks until the next exam, and I sat down and planned every single hour until then. I studied for that damn test like I’ve never studied before, and whenever I felt anxious I would tell it to FUCK OFF and focus on the task I had planned. I didn’t allow myself to think beyond that first planning session, I just did what was next on the agenda. What am I supposed to do right now? read these 10 pages? Ok.

I’ve had two exams during my studies where I failed (the second due to the situation I was in) and ended up in this spiral. And here’s the funny thing: I have a small number of courses in uni where I got a higher grade. They include 1) courses that I found extremly interesting and 2) those two courses.

Okay! I know this is already so fucking long but I want to give you some actual tips too. Number one is obviously to plan. Take a whole day, sit down and plan the next month. Consider all your assignments, when they’re due, what you need to do to study, how long that’ll take and when that is done most efficiently. Plan everything in your calendar. Give yourself enough time for each task that you can do it even if you’re not super super focused. Do not study outside these hours. When you’re done for the day you’re done for the day. This way, there’s a clear, reachable end to each study session and you don’t feel as compelled to postpone tasks. When you sit down to study, don’t worry about the other stuff you have to do, or other subjects that you haven’t done yet. They’re all in the plan, all you have to do is what is in front of you. As long as you keep doing that you’ll make it. (If the plan goes to shit for some reason, take a day to plan a make a new one. It happens).

Some things to consider:

Different subjects are best studied in different ways. I used to set aside 15-30 minutes every day in high school for Italian, where I’d sit down and read the chapter we were working on out loud. I didn’t even focus that hard, I just did it every day- the chapter and the glossary. I STILL remember some sentences from that book. Math is best done in longer stretches, but not too long. 1-2 hours preferably. Think about how YOU work. Do you best read a textbook in one go or in increments? Do you learn better in a coffee-shop or your room? Silence? Music? This can also change depending on your subject. Plan accordingly.

For reading, time your reading speed for the book. Read a page at normal speed and clock it, then multiply that by the pages you need to read to see how much time you’ll have to plan for. Round up to give yourself room for spacing out.

Plan for breaks. Think about your normal need for it, but the uni standard is 15 minutes for every 45, making an even hour. Find a break activity that’s has a specific end, for example making some more tea/coffee and snacks and doing some stretches, or maybe playing one race in mario kart. Avoid things that you can get stuck doing beyond the alotted break time.

Buffers. For every five hours or so, plan one hour of buffer time. This is time that you can use if something takes longer than expected. If you do everything as planned, this is surprise free time! :D If you have a long study session, plan 30 minute buffers every two or three hours to be used for extra breaks and to keep panic at bay. Buffers will save your life.

Make a chart with different tasks and have little boxes that you get to fill in with fun colours when you’re done. If you have to read 100 pages, do a bar with ten boxes, that way you can see your progress visually.

Plan for days/evenings that are free. Plan what you’re going to do those days, like “movie night with X”, “play videogames and eat cupcakes”, “take a long bath and read a good book”. That way, you use your free time well and can use those days and evenings as incentive.

Prioritize your work. If you have too much to do, make a list of what’s most to least important and focus on doing the important stuff first. This includes studying tasks. What’s more important, reading that text for the third time or really understanding integrals?

Drink lots of water and eat sugar. It’s brain food. I usually bake before an intense week. That way when I feel myself going down I can go get a cupcake instead of taking time to make something to eat, or worse- try to soldier through which never works.

I hope this helped a little at least :) Good Luck! I believe in you! 💙💜

#long post #studying #academia #tips for students #asked and answered #lovely asks #tw anxiety #fear of failure

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softboyscully · 4 years

Text

Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share

public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right

so ill just go by the grades i guess

Kindergarten, first year

i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit

we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair

i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime

SPEAKING of naptime

i never slept during it

once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe

i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose

sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”

i put it up my fucking nose

try to get it out, just push it farther in

im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts

go up to my teacher

“you’re supposed to be asleep!”

“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”

teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge

just. sends me back to my mat

that was it

the art room was tiny

like re-purposed broom closet tiny

there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced

there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread

someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something

we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class

Kindergarten, second year

i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination

but seriously they were horrible

we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark

me and sarah attained a new friend, john

honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away

i have two vivid memories

one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze

they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down

the other is john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up

it was funny, so he did it again

and again

me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives

after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”

one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie

most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards

my mother was horrified

ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability

1st grade

this is when i moved

beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me

nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool

thing is i was a little shit

told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)

all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)

had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story

2nd grade

i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit

like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us

never actually taught us stuff???

middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.

“what do you mean?”

“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”

“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”

“sure, i could try that.”

“o....kay”

he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)

like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????

there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived

funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me

something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas

also we had fish

every day someone else was in charge of feeding them

one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top

i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”

everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”

we held a funeral

the cause of death is still undetermined

3rd grade

this year just draws a blank for me

all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock

also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here

4th grade

i had two teachers this year

one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch

made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized

i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average

instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating.

she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl

this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once

she sucked, Ms. S

5th grade

this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do

but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++

he legitimately taught me math

we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes

the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles

at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming

also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)

she was kind of crazy

she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked

once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)

Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons

also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:

someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest

a guy named Makenzie won

remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation

we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine

like how the fuck did any of those things get there

and where’s the fourth sock

b o t t l e f l i p p i n g

but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria

my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes

one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video

four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive

like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone

and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit

no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee

me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences

“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”

“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”

“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”

“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”

“RIGHT”

also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”

#public school #percy jackson #percabeth #my childhood #you dont have to read this but i felt like posting it lol #if you've read this far #i applaud you #thanks for listening to my meaningless shit #im gonna be a comedian #school #school stories #adhd #kind of

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corona-extra-newsletter · 5 years

Text

3/16/20 corona extra: cracking open cold covid facts

Announcements & Thank Yous

Thank you to everyone who’s messaged me or sent asks! Specific thanks go to:

@hoothootmotherf-ckers for checking my math on California

@ainwesley for sending me a source for more up to date information about Norway

@sister-cna-reader for sending me a source for Washington State and for suggesting I put closure information in here

Several people for correcting the misinformation I had about Vietnamese tests being ~1 hour, this is not true unfortunately. I apologize for the mistake and will keep you posted on testing developments as they occur.

@halcyonhowl for sending me sources and tips on North Carolina

Twitter users @molly0xFFF and @goblinartificer for helping me with the Wordpress site

Wordpress staff for support

To several other anons for suggesting I include closure/group restriction information, positive news of the day, and numbers of recovered patients. I’ve implemented all of these as much as possible.

If you have reliable information from a good source that I don’t seem to have, please shoot me a message/ask/pigeon!

Places now included in the newsletter are: Montana, Vermont, Delaware, Maryland, Washington, DC, Greece, North Carolina, South Carolina, Connecticut, Alabama, Tennessee, Arizona, Ireland, and Switzerland. Please send an ask or a message if you would like a place included!

There is now good news at the end of the newsletter because this is a lot, all the time. Please take care of your mental health. I am being one with the numbers so you don’t have to follow every minute, panic-inducing development. Also, there is good news related to the pandemic!

I have started a website for the newsletter, which I may be able to update in real-time? Uncertain. At the very least it’ll be a mirror of the tumblr content so you can skip around and not be stuck in scrolling hell since these are all mega chonky. Find it at coronaextranewsletter.com. If you know me from fandom, please be chill about my meatspace identity. Please.

Asks are now on for this blog, which should help things. Please send asks to this blog in the future, thank you!

Just The Numbers

Case numbers

Total cases: 167,511 (13,903 new)

Total deaths: 6,606 (862 new)

Mortality rate: 3.9%

China: 81,077 (29 new) cases, 3,218 deaths (14 new)

Mortality rate: 3.97%

Excluding China: 86,434 cases (13,874 new) and 3388 deaths (848 new)

151 countries/territories reporting cases, 4 are new today including: Uzbekistan (4), Uruguay (4), Rwanda (5), and Seychelles (2)

Rwanda is confirming local transmission at this time

Italy is reporting over 24,000 cases (3500 new) with over 1800 deaths

Iran is reporting approx 15,000 cases with over 800 deaths

South Korea, Spain, and Germany are reporting over 5,000 cases

SK reports 75 deaths/8236 cases

Spain reports 288 deaths/7753 cases

Germany reports 12 deaths/4838 cases

International/General News

Please stop buying toilet paper unless you are actively out of toilet paper. My butt thanks you in advance.

Vaccine testing began today in Seattle, Washington. This is the first phase of vaccine testing, where healthy volunteers take the vaccine to make sure it is safe.

The World Health Organization will stop separating Chinese cases as today is the first day that cases outside China outstripped cases inside China

France is now on lockdown

We are seeing the difference that social distancing can make in this epidemic: look at the difference between European countries that have and have not shut down.

Virology Corner

Today’s topic is recovery from COVID-19: how do we know that you’re recovered and that you’re no longer shedding the virus?

We know from Chinese studies that in people who recover clinically (i.e. when they stop feeling like death’s ass) they can shed virus for up to 20 days from the onset of symptoms. People who die shed virus until after they die.

Fortunately, we have a way of testing for active virus shedding: the same tests we use to detect viral genes at the start of an infection work to show that you are clear of infection!

This is super useful to know because we do not always test for cure in infectious diseases - for example, we don’t usually test flu patients for cure.

It’s pretty clear that when people have two negative tests separated by 24 hours, they are considered “recovered”. That’s the definition the WHO uses, and the one I will use here unless I specify otherwise.

Question Tuesday

Today’s question comes from @dasyuridae: “does the UK’s response make sense?”

HELL NO it does not

That’s the short answer

The long answer is that herd immunity works as a prevention strategy in certain types of infections, and this is not yet that kind of pandemic.

We use herd immunity to prevent against diseases when we have a vaccine for them. By immunizing everyone who can be immunized, we prevent those who cannot be immunized from getting and/or spreading the disease. This is essential to protecting people from things like measles and the flu.

If humans are the only host for a particular virus, we can even use herd immunity to totally delete the disease from planet earth. Ask smallpox. Oh wait. You can’t. We deleted it. (except for the highly secure samples in Russia and the USA, shh)

COVID-19 likely has a reservoir in animals so we can’t delete it, but once we have a vaccine, herd immunity will be awesome for preventing further outbreaks.

To have herd immunity now, likely upwards of 90% of the UK would need to get the virus and recover, thereby developing immunity. That is a bad idea because no health system can handle that.

A better way to do this is what most other countries are doing, mitigating spread by isolating affected people, offering lots of testing, and quarantining areas with lots of asymptomatic spread.

In conclusion, fuck Boris Johnson, he doesn’t understand how epidemiology works and that’s gonna hurt/kill a lot of people.

I have two elderly grandparents in the UK. Fuck Boris.

If you have questions, ask them and they’ll appear here in the next issue of corona extra!

Regional News (if you want somewhere added just let me know. Don’t be shy!! I highly recommend you just skip to your area if you don’t wanna be overwhelmed.)

Canada: last updated 3/16/20 at 9 AM EST

Total cases: 324 confirmed (+75), 17 presumed (+13), 1 death (3/9/20, no change), 5 recovered

Symptoms began for these cases between 1/15 and 3/13

13% of cases have required hospitalization (up from 12%)

74% (down from 79%) of cases are in travellers, and a further 6% in their close contacts

Affected provinces include: Alberta (56, +17), BC (73, +0), Manitoba (7, +3), New Brunswick (6, +4), Newfoundland and Labrador (1, +0), Nova Scotia (5, +2) Ontario (172, +69), PEI (1, +0), Québec (50, +9), and Saskatchewan (6, +4).

Totals here include confirmed and presumptive positives

4 cases in repatriated travellers (no change)

Restrictions/Closures:

No formal restrictions/closures at the federal level

Recommendation to avoid non-essential travel, particularly cruise ships

All international travelers directed to self-isolate for 14 days upon arrival

Alberta: last updated 3/15

56 cases, 17 new, 0 deaths

Community spread confirmed in Calgary

Restrictions/closures

K-12 schools and in-person post-secondary classes/training are closed

Licensed childcare facilities, out-of-school care programs, and preschools are closed indefinitely

British Columbia: last updated 3/14

73 cases, 9 new, 4 recovered, 1 death

Affected public health units include: Fraser, Interior, and Vancouver Coastal

Vancouver coastal has the most cases as far as I can tell

Clusters of infection have been reported at Lynn Valley Care Centre, Hollyburn House Retirement Residence, and Lions Gate Hospital (admin staff).

Manitoba: last updated 3/16 AM

7 cases, 3 new, no deaths

Visitor restrictions for hospitals are in effect

New Brunswick: last updated 3/16 1 PM

6 cases, 4 new on 3/15, no deaths

Affected areas include Zone 3

I don’t live in NB so I have no idea what this is beyond one of at least three zones

Schools are closed starting 3/16 for two weeks

Newfoundland & Labrador

1 case

Sorry that’s all the info I have

Nova Scotia

5 cases

Gatherings over 150 people are disallowed

Casinos are closed starting 3/16; VLTs are not allowed in bars

Childcare facilities are closed starting 3/17 through 4/3

Public schools are closed until 4/6

Long-term care facilities are closed to visitors until further notice

Ontario: last updated 3/16 at 10:30 AM local time

177 cases, 69 new, 5 recovered, no deaths

Affected public health units include: Durham (1), Halton (1), Hamilton (4), Niagara (1), Ottawa (3), Peel (4), Sudbury (1), Toronto (11), Wellington Dufferin Guelph (1), York (5)

Only cases from 3/16 on will be counted under here based on how the site works

P.E.I.: last updated 3/16 AM

1 case, in Queens County, connected to a cruise

Closures/restrictions

Libraries and community events are closed/canceled

Child care facilities are closed for two weeks starting 3/17

Public schools are closed until April 6

Québec: last updated 3/16 AM

50 cases, 9 new, no deaths

Affected regions include: Capitale Nationale (2, +0), Mauricie - Centre du Québec (3, +0), Estrie (3, +0), Montréal (18, +5), Chaudière-Appalaches (4, +1), Lanaudière (3, +1), Laurentides (3, +0), Montérégie (10, +1), and undetermined/outside Québec (4, +1).

State of health emergency as of 3/13

Closures/restrictions

Indoor gatherings of >250 people prohibited, many public buildings closed until further notice

Daycare/childcare facilities and all schools closed until 3/27

Elections scheduled for 3/15 have been rescheduled to after late April

Non-essential visits to hospitals and long-term care institutions are prohibited

Saskatchewan: last updated 3/15

6 cases

Sorry this is all I have right now

Greece: last updated 3/16 at 1:45 pm local time

Note: I do not speak Greek, and I therefore am struggling to find official data from somewhere more granular than the WHO. I’m sourcing most of this from the WHO and from Ekathimerini, but if you know where I can find better/more up to date info, please let me know. Thank you!

331 total cases, 141 new

4 deaths total (1 new on 3/15)

Restrictions/Closures:

All arrivals to the country are required to isolate for 14 days

Parliament has suspended all committee meetings and restricted each party to one MP in attendance at a time

Businesses are closed starting Wednesday 3/18, with the exception of gas stations, pharmacies, and groceries

Supermarkets are restricting the number of patrons to allow 1 person per 10 square meters

Ireland: last updated 3/15

169 total cases, 40 new, 2 total deaths

Deaths occurred on 3/11 and 3/14

Community transmission is confirmed

The following regional breakdown is available of the new cases: 25 eastern, 9 western, 6 southern

Restrictions/Closures

All pubs & bars are closed until March 29. House parties are strongly discouraged.

Schools, colleges, and childcare facilities are closed until March 29

Indoor gatherings of >100 people and outdoor gatherings >500 people are prohibited

State run cultural institutions are closed until further notice

The Netherlands: last updated 3/16 at 2 PM local time

I still do not speak Dutch, please please correct me if I get something wrong!

Seriously this is all run through Google Translate, I won’t take it personally

1413 confirmed cases, 24 deaths

278 new cases, 4 new deaths

Average age of decedents is 79, with a range from 59 to 94

Provinces affected include: Drenthe (16, +1), Flevoland (22, +3), Friesland (13, +3), Gelderland (135, +35), Groningen (10, +1), Limburg (149, +20), North Brabant (554, +108), North Holland (115, +25), Overijssel (36, +8), Utrecht (140, +31), South Holland (136, +26), and Zeeland (17, +1).

I think this is all of them based on a quick Wikipedia investigation?

There are 70 non-residents/unknown location patients

Restrictions/Closures

Schools, restaurants/bars, sports and fitness clubs, sex clubs, saunas, and childcare facilities are closed until April 6

Tae Bo is about to undergo a renaissance, I can feel it. Bring on the 80s outfits and the Jazzercise too!!

New Zealand: last updated 3/16 at 2 pm local time

8 confirmed cases, 2 probable cases

NO NEW CASES, YAY!!

The new patients from 3/15 are doing well and remain in quarantine; one was not hospitalized and the other has been released from hospital

Travel into and out of the country is restricted and those returning from overseas are asked to self-isolate for two weeks.

The Golden Princess has left port and the passenger in question tested negative.

Norway: last updated 3/16 at 8 pm local time

I still don’t speak Norwegian so if I screwed up lemme know

Everyone is still on lockdown, and apparently salty about being banned from their rural cabins

1332 cases, 3 deaths

53 hospitalized, 11 critical

96 new cases during the 24h of March 15

359 cases acquired in Norway, 752 acquired outside of Norway, the rest are undetermined. Community spread is confirmed.

Locations where people became infected include Austria (513), Italy (148), Switzerland (18), UK (14), Spain (14), France (10), USA (7), Iran (5), Germany (5), other countries with more than 3 cases (18), and other countries with less than 3 cases (58).

Breakdown of cases by area: Agder (87, +32), Innlandet (88, +16), Møre og Romsdal (20, +0), Nordland (11, +3), Oslo (292, +11), Rogaland (164, +37), Troms og Finnmark (23, +3), Trøndelag (74, +24), Vestfold og Telemark (69, nice, +21), Vestland (131, +13), and Viken (373, +95)

Yay no new cases in Møre og Romsdal!

Switzerland: last updated 3/16 at 5:45 pm local time

Whole country is on lockdown as of 3/16: no entry or exit until further notice (maximum of 6 months), schools are closed until 4/19, all events are canceled, and all personal service establishments are closed.

1,680 confirmed cases

14 deaths

United Kingdom in general: Last updated 3/16 at 9 AM local time

Boris is still a stupid shit, surprise surprise.

Fuck Boris

He’s ~encouraging~ people to stay home, which is kind of laughable given the severity of the pandemic and how strict other countries are having to be

1,543 total cases (+12.4%), 152 are new today

55 total deaths, 20 new today

England

1,196 total cases, 97 new

Affected UTLAs with at least 10 cases are as follows: Hampshire (55), Kensington & Chelsea (43), Westminster (37), Southwark (33), Hertfordshire (29), Lambeth (26), Barnet (25), Surrey (25), Oxfordshire (23), Camden (22), Hammersmith & Fulham (21), Brent (20), Hackney & City of London (20), Wadsworth (20), Devon (20), Essex (20), Ealing (18), Greenwich (18), Lewisham (17), Haringey (16), Sheffield (15), Birmingham (15), Leeds (14), Harrow (14), Nottinghamshire (14), Hillingdon (13), Hounslow (12), Merton (12), Tower Hamlets (12), Buckinghamshire (12), Cambridgeshire (12), Derbyshire (12), Kent (12), Northamptonshire (12), Walsall (11), Wolverhampton (11), Bromley (11), Islington (11), Sutton (11), Nottingham (10), Brighton & Hove (10), Oldham (10), Barking & Dagenham (10), Cumbria (10)

As things continue to escalate I will figure out a better way to display this

Deaths are not being reported by the PHS but I will do my best to split these out in the next few editions using news reports etc. It will hopefully be included by the 3/18 edition but no promises? If you have a good source for deaths by county/area, please let me know.

Scotland: last updated 3/16 at 2 pm local time

171 cases, 18 new, 1 death

Affected health boards are as follows: Ayrshire and Arran (7, +1), Borders (7, +0), Fife (7, +0), Forth Valley (10, +0), Grampian (12, +0), Greater Glasgow and Clyde (44, +5), Highland (2, +0), Lanarkshire (20, +4), Lothian (29, +1), Shetland (15, +4), and Tayside (17, +2)

Clearly the ones I listed yesterday were not all of them because…

Newly affected health boards are as follows: Dumfries and Galloway (1)

Wales: last updated 3/16 at 11 am local time

124 cases, 30 new

1 death (3/16)

Affected areas include: Blaenau Gwent County (5, +1), Bridgend County (1, +0), Caerphilly County (14, +3), Carmarthenshire County (7, +0), Ceredigion County (1, +0), City & County of Swansea (23, +1), City of Cardiff (11, +3), Conwy County (1, +0), Flintshire County (1, +0), Isle of Anglesey (2, +1), Monmouthshire County (7, +2), Neath Port Talbot (11, +0), Newport City (14, +7), Pembrokeshire (2, +0), Powys County (3, +0), Rhondda Cynon Taf County (2, +0), Torfaen County (2, +0), Vale of Glamorgan County (1, +0), and Wrexham County (2, +1).

Note that some of these numbers have changed more than you might see from looking at yesterday’s report; this is because residential locations of patients are being confirmed. 12 cases remain unlocalized and 2 are residents outside of Wales.

Northern Ireland: last updated 3/16 at 9 am local time

52 cases, 7 new

Health dept is not providing more detail than this at this time as far as I can tell

US in general: updated 3/16 at 4 pm local time (EST for CDC numbers)

3,487 total cases, 1,858 new with 46 states and DC reporting cases.

This is the start of the explosion of cases I’ve been expecting because of increased testing. This is a good sign that we’re catching more cases. It also indicates that there’s been spread going on for a while.

68 deaths, 27 new (1.95% mortality rate)

53 jurisdictions are reporting cases: 49 states, DC, Puerto Rico, Guam, and US Virgin Islands

Only West Virginia continues to not have cases. Impressive.

CDC is now recommending all in person gatherings with more than 50 people be canceled for the next 8 weeks. This sucks for me personally and probably a lot of you all too. Hang in there.

Trump told states that they should “try to get” ventilators and other critical supplies themselves. Fuck him too.

Not that it’s not the states’ jobs too, but also the federal aid and stockpile is like, a huge thing in disaster response (wait, oops, Trump cut that too)

Alabama: updated 3/16 at 1 PM local time

28 cases, no deaths

Affected counties include: Baldwin (1), Elmore (1), Lee (1), Jefferson (17), Limestone (1), Montgomery (1), Shelby (3), and Tuscaloosa (3).

Arizona: updated 3/16 at 11:36 AM

18 cases, no deaths

Affected counties include: Graham (1), Maricopa (8), Pima (4), and Pinal (5)

California: updated around 10 AM PST, 3/15/20

The Governor has recommended the following:

Those with chronic health conditions and those over 65 should shelter in place.

Gatherings over 250 people should be canceled.

Drinking establishments should be closed but restaurants can operate at 50% capacity.

Hospitals and long term care facilities should prohibit visitors except for end of life situations

Total cases not including the ones at Miramar (discussed below): 363, with 6 total deaths

Deaths have occurred in the following counties: Placer (1), Sacramento (2), San Mateo (1), Santa Clara (2)

The following counties report recoveries: Humboldt (1), San Benito (2)

The following counties report numbers of hospitalizations: Los Angeles (2), San Diego (8), Santa Clara (52)

Affected counties include: Alameda (18, +11), Calaveras (2, +0), Contra Costa (34, +5), Fresno (2, +0), Humboldt (1, +0), Imperial (2, +0), Los Angeles (94, +25), Madera (1, +0), Marin (9, +4), Orange (17, +3), Placer (8, +0), Riverside (15, +5), Sacramento (33, +4) San Benito (3, +0), San Diego (33, +25), San Francisco (40, +12), San Joaquin (8, +0), San Luis Obispo (3, +2), San Mateo (41, +9), Santa Clara (138, +47), Santa Cruz (9, +2), Shasta (1, +0), Solano (9, +3), Sonoma (5, +1), Stanislaus (3, +1), Tulare (2, +0), Ventura (5, +0), Yolo (2, +0)

Note regarding San Diego: The four federally quarantined people are not included in the county statistics.

Unaffected counties include: Alpine, Butte, Colusa, Del Norte, El Dorado, Glenn, Inyo, Kern, Kings, Lake, Lassen, Mariposa, Mendocino, Merced, Modoc, Mono, Monterey, Napa, Plumas, Sierra, Siskiyou, Sutter, Tehama, Trinity, Tuolumne, Yuba

Counties with confirmed community transmission include: Los Angeles, Marin, Orange, Riverside, San Francisco, San Joaquin, Santa Clara, Sonoma

Ventura County retested a possible case of community transmission and did not find evidence as of 3/16/20.

Newly affected counties include Amador (1), Nevada (1), San Bernardino (1), Santa Barbara (1)

Closures/Restrictions by County

Alameda: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Contra Costa: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Del Norte: Schools closed through 4/20

El Dorado: Schools closed through 3/20

Marin: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Mendocino: Modified schooling starting 3/17

Mono: Schools closed through 3/30, Alterra Mountain closed

Nevada: Schools are closed until 4/13, libraries closed until 4/12

Riverside: Schools & daycares are closed, gatherings >250 people prohibited

San Benito: Schools are closed

San Francisco: Shelter in Place until 4/7

San Luis Obispo: Alcohol sales on site are banned through 3/18

San Mateo: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Santa Clara: Shelter in Place until 4/7

Santa Cruz: Schools are closed until 3/20

Stanislaus: Gatherings of >1000 people are prohibited indoor and outdoor from 3/16 to 3/31

Tuolumne: Schools are closed from 3/16 to 3/30

Ventura: All schools and public libraries are closed starting 3/16 until further notice

Yolo: Many schools are closed at the local level. The County website has a list of closures: https://www.yolocounty.org/health-human-services/adults/communicable-disease-investigation-and-control/novel-coronavirus-2019

Counties with no closures/restrictions beyond those mandated by the state: Alpine, Amador, Butte, Calaveras, Colusa, Fresno, Glenn, Humboldt, Imperial, Inyo, Kern, Kings, Lake, Lassen, Los Angeles, Madera, Merced, Modoc, Monterey, Napa, Orange, Placer, Plumas, San Bernardino, San Diego, San Joaquin, Santa Barbara, Shasta, Sierra, Siskiyou, Solano, Sutter, Tehama, Trinity, Tulare, and Yuba

Drive through testing is available in Marin County

Colorado - last updated 3/15 at 145 pm local time

131 cases (+30), 1 death

Counties reporting deaths include: El Paso (1)

Affected counties include: Adams (6, +0), Arapahoe (15, +5), Denver (24, +4), Douglas (8, +4), Eagle (22, +4), El Paso (4, +1), Gunnison (8, +2), Jefferson (12, +3), Larimer (1, +0), Mesa (1, +0), Pitkin (2, +0), Pueblo (1, +0), Summit (1, +0), Weld (5, +2), with one case reassigned from Summit to unknown status

Out of state visitors who have tested positive are tallied separately, 15 in total (+0). They are located in the following counties: Pitkin (9), Eagle (2), Routt (1), Denver (1), unknown (2).

Confirmed community spread

Newly affected counties include: Boulder (3), Clear Creek (1),

Drive through testing is available in: Denver and Lowry

Residents of Gunnison, Eagle, Summit, Pitkin are recommended to minimize social contact

Anyone who visited the Colorado Springs Bridge center in late Feb-early Mar may have been exposed, call the DPH for more information

Events of >50 people are “strongly encouraged” to be canceled

Schools are closed in many places, local news is your best bet for this. I’ll try to include this eventually but it’s too much today.

Connecticut - last update 3/16 at 5 pm local time

41 cases

The following counties are affected: Fairfield (29), Hartford (4), Litchfield (4), New Haven (4)

Connecticut’s small, right? You can’t have more than 4 counties?

Restrictions/Closures

Gatherings >250 people are canceled through 4/30

No gatherings >50 people until further notice

Nursing home visits restricted

Schools closed through 3/30

Restaurants are carryout/drive through only through 4/30

Fitness/recreation centers and movie theaters closed through 4/30

Delaware: last update 3/16 at 1:40 local time

8 cases, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: New Castle (8)

Do you guys have any other counties?? This is gonna be another Rhode Island sitch, I think.

Restrictions/closures:

Events over >100 people are encouraged to cancel/reschedule

Schools closed through 3/27

District of Columbia: last update 3/16 AM

17 cases, no deaths

There’s no counties in DC, you can’t trick me

Restrictions/Closures

Food service/drinking establishments are restricted to <250 people, <6 people/table, no standing or bar seating, and tables separated by 6 feet

Nightclubs etc are closed

Florida - last updated 12:38 pm local time 3/16/20

155 (+40) cases and 4 deaths (+0)

Florida has not yet confirmed community transmission but it’s almost certainly happening. I’m no longer separating counties with and without confirmed community transmission because of that.

Affected counties include: Alachua (2, +1), Broward (39, +3), Charlotte (1, +0), Citrus (1, +0), Clay (3, +0), Collier (6, +1), Duval (5, +1), Hillsborough (5, +1), Lee (4, -1), Manatee (5, +1), Miami-Dade (23, +10), Nassau (1, +0) Okaloosa (1, +0), Orange (3, +0), Osceola (4, +2), Palm Beach (8, +3), Pasco (2, +0) Pinellas (4 +2), Santa Rosa (1, +0), Sarasota (3, +2) Seminole (4, +3), St. Johns (2, +1) Volusia (7, +2)

A case was removed from the record of Lee County. Since FLDPH changed their website, I don’t know where it was reassigned.

Newly affected counties include: Escambia (1) and Lake (1)

Georgia: last updated 3/16 at 11:21 AM

121 cases, 22 new, 1 death

Affected counties include: Bartow (9, +0), Charlton (1, +0), Cherokee (7, +1), Clayton (5, +3), Clarke (3, +1), Cobb (22, +3), Coweta (2, +0), Dekalb (10, +0), Dougherty (6, +0), Fayette (5, +0), Floyd (4, +0), Fulton (27, +7), Gordon (2, +0), Gwinnett (5, +1), Henry (2, +1), Lowndes (3, +1), Lee (2, +0), Newton (1, +0), and Polk (1, +0).

Newly affected counties include: Forsyth (1), Hall (1), Paulding (1), and Troup (1)

Illinois: last updated 3/14/20

105 confirmed cases, 16 new

Confirmed community spread

Affected counties include Champaign, Clinton, Cook, Cumberland, DuPage, Kane, Lake, McHenry, Sangamon, St. Clair, Whiteside, Winnebago, and Woodford

ILDPH is not publishing numbers per county. I will try to include this for tomorrow’s update.

Newly affected counties include: Peoria and Will

Closings/Restrictions

Bars and restaurants are closed (except for carryout and drive through) until 3/30

All gatherings >50 people prohibited

Gyms/fitness centers/clubs/theaters are closed

DMV is closed! I personally hate the IL DMV so this isn’t like, sad news in particular…..

Community colleges and public schools are closed - like in other places I will attempt to include county-by-county news soon.

Iowa: last updated 3/16

Total cases: 22, 4 new

Affected counties include: Carroll (1, +0), Dallas (1, +0), Harrison (1, +0), Johnson (15, +1), and Pottawattamie (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Allamakee (2) and Polk (1)

Community spread confirmed

Closures/restrictions

Schools closed for 4 weeks starting 3/16

Kansas: last updated 3/16

11 confirmed cases (+3), 1 death

Affected counties include: Johnson (8, +3), Wyandotte (1, +0), Butler (1, +0), Franklin (1, +0)

Closures/Restrictions

Schools closed through 3/23

Kentucky: last updated 3/16 at 4 pm local time

22 cases (+4), 1 death (+1)

Counties reporting deaths: Bourbon (1)

Counties reporting recoveries: Harrison (1)

Affected counties include: Bourbon (1), Clark (1), Fayette (5), Harrison (6), Jefferson (6), Montgomery (1), and Nelson (1).

Closures/Restrictions

Restaurants and bars closed to in-person service

State Capitol closed to nonessential personnel

Schools are closed statewide

Louisiana: last updated 5:30 pm 3/16

136 cases reported, 45 new

3 deaths, 1 new

Parishes affected: Bossier (1, +0), Caddo (3, +2), Jefferson (21, +9), Lafourche (2, +1), Orleans (94, +29), St. Bernard (2, +1), St. Charles (3, +1), St. John the Baptist (1, +0), St. Tammany (6, +2), and Terrebonne (2, +0)

New parishes affected: Ascension (1)

Maryland: last updated 10 AM 3/16

37 cases, 0 deaths

Counties affected: Anne Arundel (1), Baltimore (4), Baltimore City (1), Carroll (1), Charles (1), Harford (2), Howard (1), Montgomery (15), Prince George’s (10), Talbot (1)

Community spread confirmed

Exposure risk advisory for Lorien Elkridge

Closures/restrictions

Casinos, racetracks and other gambling situations are closed

Gatherings >250 people prohibited

All schools closed through 3/27

Senior centers closed until further notice

Massachusetts: last updated 4 pm 3/16

197 cases (59 new)

Affected counties include: Barnstable (1, +0), Berkshire (11, +2), Bristol (2, +1), Essex (8, +3), Middlesex (83, +18), Norfolk (36, +8), Suffolk (36, +9), and Worcester (6, +4)

Newly affected counties include: Hampden (1) and Plymouth (3)

10 cases are undetermined location

14 hospitalizations (+3)

They finally stopped making me download a goddamn word doc, thank you Massachusetts <3

Michigan: last updated 3/16 2 pm

54 cases (+21) 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Bay (1, +0), Charlevoix (1, +0), Ingham (1, +0), Kent (5, +2), Macomb (6, +4), Monroe (1, +0), Montcalm (1, +0), Oakland (14, +5), St. Clair (2, +1), Washtenaw (7, +3), and Wayne (14, +6)

Wayne County includes Detroit (6 cases)

Likely community transmission

Closures/Restrictions

Bars and restaurants are carryout/drive through only

Public spaces (casinos, theaters, etc) closed

Public offices open by appt only

Minnesota: last updated 3/16 at 12:00

54 cases (+19)

Affected counties include: Anoka, Carver, Dakota, Hennepin, Olmstead, Ramsey, Renville, Stearns, Waseca, Washington, and Wright

Newly affected counties include: Benton and Blue Earth

County numbers are not currently being provided by MN dept of health, just ranges. Hennepin county has >20 cases.

I will start working on these numbers for tomorrow’s edition

Drive through testing available in Olivia

Montana: last updated 3/15 at 7:45 pm

6 cases

Affected counties not being reported at this time, I’ll try to untangle that tomorrow

Closures/Restrictions

Public schools closed until 3/30

Many counties have closed libraries, these will be included tomorrow

Nebraska: last updated 3/16

Community transmission confirmed: many locations in Douglas County are potential places where transmission has occurred; if you live or have traveled to Douglas County (Omaha), please check the Douglas County COVID-19 monitoring site at: https://www.douglascountyhealth.com/latest-news.

There were also two exposures in Knox County on March 5, at basketball games at Lincoln Southwest HS and North Star HS.

18 cases (+1), no deaths

Affected counties include: Cass (1), Douglas (15) and Knox (1)

New Jersey : last updated 3/16 at 2 pm

178 cases (+109), 2 deaths (+1)

Affected counties include: Bergen (61, +36), Burlington (5, +2), Camden (3, +1), Essex (20, +13), Hudson (19, +14), Mercer (6, +5), Middlesex (17, +7), Monmouth (14, +6), Morris (6, +3), Ocean (3, +2), Passaic (8, +6), Somerset (5, +4), and Union (8, +7)

Newly affected counties include: Hunterdon (1)

Closures/Restrictions:

No gatherings >50 people

New York: last updated 3/16 at 3 PM

950 cases (+337), 2 deaths

Affected counties include: Albany (12, +7), Broome (1, +0), Delaware (1, +0), Dutchess (10, +6), Erie (6, +3), Herkimer (1, +0), Monroe (10, +8), Nassau (109, +30), Orange (11, +5), Rockland (16, +4), Saratoga (5, +2), Schenectady (4, +3), Suffolk (63, +22), Tioga (1, +0), Tompkins (1, +0), Ulster (7, +2), Westchester (220, +42)

NYC has 463 cases (194) as of 3/16 at 11:30 am

Areas/counties reporting deaths are: NYC - Brooklyn (1), Rockland (1)

Newly affected counties include: Allegany (2), Greene (2), Montgomery (1), Onondaga (1), Ontario (1), and Putnam (2)

Drive through testing in New Rochelle, Long Island, Staten Island, and Rockland County

Closures/Restrictions

Bars, restaurants, entertainment venues closed

No gatherings >50 people

Public schools closed until 4/1

Village elections delayed until 4/28

The governor dunked on the federal response hard in his press conference, which was great tbh

North Carolina: last updated 3/16 at 10 AM

33 cases, 0 deaths

Affected counties include: Brunswick (1), Cabarrus (1), Chatham (1), Craven (1), Durham (1), Forsyth (2), Harnett (2), Johnston (2), Mecklenburg (4), Onslow (1), Wake (14), Watauga (1), Wayne (1), and Wilson (1).

Advisory for an exposure at Raleigh convention center on March 8

Please call Wake County if you were there, they are tracking exposures

Closures/Restrictions

Schools are closed statewide until 3/30

Events >100 people canceled

Ohio: last updated 3/16 at 2 pm

50 confirmed cases, 14 new

14 hospitalizations

Affected counties include: Belmont (2, +0), Butler (6, +0), Cuyahoga (24, +10), Franklin (3, +0), Lorain (3, +1), Lucas (1, +0), Medina (2, +1), Stark (3, +1), Summit (2, +0), Trumbull (2, +0), Tuscarawas (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: Geauga (1).

Closures/Restrictions

Bars/restaurants are closed

Gatherings >50 people canceled

Oregon: last updated 3/15 at 12 PM

39 cases (+3), 1 death

Counties reporting deaths: Multnomah (1)

13 hospitalized at time of positive test

The following counties are affected: Clackamas (1, +0), Deschutes (4, +1), Douglas (1, +0), Jackson (2, +0), Klamath (1, +0), Linn (10, +1), Marion (2, +0), Multnomah (1, +0), Polk (1, +0), Umatilla (2, +0), and Washington (13, +0).

Newly affected counties include: Yamhill (1).

Pennsylvania: last updated 3/16 at 7 pm

Gritty continues his dark work.

76 total cases (+13)

Counties affected include: Allegheny (5, +2) Bucks (5, +1), Chester (2, +0), Cumberland (5, +0), Delaware (7, +0), Lehigh (1, +0), Luzerne (1, +0), Monroe (8, +2), Montgomery (30, +6), Northampton (1, +0), Philadelphia (8, +2), Pike (1, +0), Washington (1, +0), Wayne (1, +0)

Newly affected counties include: NONE TODAY! \o/

Closures/restrictions:

Restaurants and bars are closed in the following counties until 3/30: Allegheny, Bucks, Chester, Delaware, and Montgomery

Presumably this will deter Gritty

Rhode Island: last updated 3/16

21 confirmed cases (+1), no deaths

Chanston High School West had an exposure; 1700 people are currently quarantined after this exposure

I will attempt to sort out county level data soon, since apparently y’all have counties

South Carolina: last updated 3/16 at 3:50 pm

33 cases, no deaths

Will try to find more granular data for tomorrow’s edition

South Dakota: last updated 3/16

10 confirmed cases (+1), no deaths

Affected counties include: Beadle (1, +0), Bon Homme (1, +0), Charles Mix (1, +0), Davison (1, +0), McCook (1, +0), Minnehaha (4, +1), and Pennington (1, +0)

No community transmission

Tennessee: last updated 3/16 at 2 pm

52 cases, no deaths

Affected counties include: Campbell (1), Davidson (25), Hamilton (1), Jefferson (1), Knox (1), Rutherford (1), Sevier (1), Shelby (2), Sullivan (1), and Williamson (18)

Texas: last updated 3/16

57 total cases, 1 new.

Highly likely that there has been community transmission, unconfirmed currently

Affected counties include: Bell (1, +0), Bexar (3, +2), Brazoria (2, +0), Collin (6, +1), Dallas (8, +0), El Paso (1, +0), Fort Bend (9, +0), Galveston (1, +0), Gregg (1, +0), Harris (10, +0), Hays (1, +0), Lavaca (1, +0), Matagorda (1), Montgomery (3, +0), Smith (4, +1), Tarrant (3, +0), and Travis (2, +1)

Newly affected counties include: None today!

Utah: last updated 3/16

29 total cases

Affected health districts include: Davis County (4, +1), Salt Lake county (18, +2), Southwest Utah (1, +0), Summit County (11, +9), and Weber-Morgan (2, +1)

Newly affected districts include: Tooele (1), Utah County (1), and Wasatch County (1)

First case of community spread identified on 3/14/20, in Summit County

Exposure at Wasatch High School identified

Schools: canceled

Mormons: canceled

Skiing: canceled

Public places in SLC: Canceled

Vermont

12 cases total (+4)

Affected counties include: Bennington (3), Chittenden (4), Orange (1), Springfield (1), Washington (1), and Windsor (3)

Hospitalizations are reported in the following counties: Bennington (3), Chittenden (1), Springfield (1), Washington (1), Windsor (1)

Closures/restrictions:

No gatherings >50 people or >50% capacity, whichever is lower

Schools are closed starting 3/18

Virginia: last updated 3/16

51 cases total, 6 new

Affected counties/cities include: Alexandria City (2, +1), Arlington (9, +1), Chesterfield (2, +1), Fairfax (10, +0), Hanover (1, +0), Harrisonburg City (1, +0), James City (10, +2), Loudoun (5, +0), Prince Edward (1, +0), Prince William (3, +0), Spotsylvania (1, +0), and Virginia Beach City (4, +0)

Newly affected areas include: Stafford (1) and York (1)

Washington: last updated 3/16 at 3:45 PM

Things are still super rough. Hang in there.

904 total cases (+262), 48 deaths (+8)

Current mortality rate: 5.3%

Deaths have occurred in the following counties: Grant (1, +0), King (43, +8), and Snohomish (4, +0).

Affected counties include: Clark (4, +1), Columbia (1, +0), Grant (3, +1), Grays Harbor (1, +0), Island (7, +1), Jefferson (3, +2), King (488, +101), Kitsap (7, +4), Kittitas (3, +0), Pierce (38, +12), Skagit (7, +3), Snohomish (200, +46), Spokane (3, +0), Thurston (4, +1), Whatcom (3, +1), and Yakima (4, +0).

126 cases are currently unassigned to a county. These are expected to resolve in the coming days, hopefully.

Newly affected counties include: Lewis (1) and Lincoln (1)

Closures/restrictions: widespread, will have county-by-county info soon.

Wisconsin: last updated 3/16 at 2 PM

47 total cases (+14), 0 deaths

Recovery is being reported by the following counties: Dane (1)

This is updated every Friday, next update expected 3/20

Affected counties include: Dane (10, +4), Fond du Lac (11, +0), Milwaukee (13, +6), Pierce (1, +0), Racine (1, +0), Sheboygan (3, +0), Waukesha (3, +0), and Winnebago (3, +2)

Newly affected counties include: Outagamie (1) and Wood (1)

Closures/restrictions

Schools closed starting 3/18 for minimum of two weeks

Today’s Hot Tips

Social distancing can be really crappy for people who are prone to feeling isolated. Try to schedule time to hang out virtually, especially if you’re stuck at home alone. I highly recommend the Jackbox party games to stream over Discord, or tabletop RPGs played through a service like Roll20. My friends and I have been doing all these things and it’s helping a lot!

If you have a favorite quarantine activity, let me know and I can include it in the next issue!

Everyone knows that sex is an option, there’s gonna be a lot of November, December, & January babies

That said, make sure your quarantine supplies include contraception and condoms and stuff. If you have a uterus, you can buy emergency contraception (plan B) online and it’s real handy to have around in a situation like this.

Hand washing is so hot right now

Hand Washing Song of the Day

If you hate singing happy birthday while you wash your hands, I certainly do, try Barrett’s Privateers!

Sing the first verse and chorus to feel like a pirate and follow CDC handwashing guidelines! Use soap and water for maximum virus-murdering.

Good News, Everyone!

The Shedd Aquarium took its penguins around to explore the whole aquarium since there were no people, and boy were those lil guys fascinated by everything!

Check it out here: https://twitter.com/shedd_aquarium/status/1239248971006185478?s=21

Chill Cat Corner

This one’s a classic: “where’s the babies???”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2rELs4jl64k

I wish I could summon a bunch of smol kittens to scream at me like this

About this newsletter

I’m Emily, I’m a 4th year med student w/ a degree in molecular biology. I started this because I’m an infectious disease and epidemiology nerd and also all my friends have questions & anxiety. Hi internet!

The archive/proper website is located at coronaextranewsletter.wordpress.com.

All this info is sourced from regional & national public health organizations, plus the WHO. It’s as up to date as humanly possible. I’ve been beaming information about this outbreak directly into my brain 24/7 but I still miss stuff. Please let me know if I miss something!

Most public health departments stop updating their information around 4-5 PM local time on weekdays. That means that the earliest this will come out is around 6 PM Pacific time on weekdays going forward. On weekends things update more sporadically and earlier, so who knows what I’ll do then, but I’ll do my best.

The excellent title is courtesy of @marywhal and the Wordpress site is courtesy of @molly0xFFF and @goblinartificer on Twitter, thank you all!

For More Information

JHU COVID-19 data center: https://gisanddata.maps.arcgis.com/apps/opsdashboard/index.html#/bda7594740fd40299423467b48e9ecf6

List of peer-reviewed publications: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/publications.html

WHO daily sitrep: https://www.who.int/docs/default-source/coronaviruse/situation-reports/20200316-sitrep-56-covid-19.pdf?sfvrsn=9fda7db2_2

WHO FAQ: https://www.who.int/news-room/q-a-detail/q-a-coronaviruses

CDC cases in the US: https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/cases-in-us.html, this also has links to each state’s health dept

#corona extra #coronavirus #coronavirus pandemic #covid19 #covid corner #public health #pandemic facts #no panic #just facts

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wexhappyxfew · 4 years

Note

Not an ask, just need motivation to not pass out and not do work.

ah jenna hi!! :) 💛

i’m sorry you don’t have motivation, i feel that very deeply as i, myself, am trying to work through psychology work that i’ve been dreading for quite some time by now to work through, myself. so you’re not alone!! let’s go through these together then - these are just quotes i have up around my room, ideas i have saved on my photos and things that hype me up <3

i know this may not sound super fun, but the struggle of not having that sort of motivation and having to really push through it, only makes you stronger. and it will keep making you stronger.

just the other day i received the notice i had failed a statistics test, one that i had studied so hard and long for and still didn’t do well in at the end. but i sat back and gave it a look. i had no motivation as i stared at the grace, as i previously had not been doing well and that just really hit me at that low point of wow i suck that much?

you know what i did? i turned on some music, music that gets me focused (it’s quite literally called Focus Music lol!) and i got down to work because within me, i created this want, this feeling of ‘i want to do better’ ‘i want to see myself getting that 100’ ‘i want to see that good grade and look back on my hard work and see wow it PAID OFF!’

i feel it’s also with perspective. if you look at it, and you feel you have no motivation of the sort - don’t stress yourself out with this massive idea - i like taking baby steps with it - one math problem at a time, one concept at a time. and when you master it, it feels pretty good doesn’t it?! by taking those tiny steps i feel that helps more than anything bc you are on one basic idea, not this huge, stressful complex idea that is draining you. because then by the end, you can piece it together like a puzzle piece which i feel is even more rewarding! <3

make some goals too!! say you’re doing a paper of something - get that first paragraph done, a good first draft and celebrate with something to signify you’ve completed that goal. and keep doing that until you finish your goal in mind! :) plenty of times i’ve had to stop from stressing and take it in baby steps to calm myself down and more than anything it has helped with my stress levels and my lack-of-motivation.

motivation i feel comes from within you and just finding some goals, looking at your perspective and knowing that it will all be worth it, pushing through these patches of life, is the best part about being at this point. because if you just keep pushing who knows where it could lead you!!

so many times in my life have i had no motivation at all, and everyone can relate as it’s a human thing, and just by pushing through and doing it, i’ve come out much better in the end!

BUT! don’t push yourself so hard on things that it causes you to lose that motivation. the most important thing to you is yourself and you should always make sure that if you find yourself losing that motivation that it’s okay to take that much-needed break and take time for yourself. it’s more important than anything!

we always say, make sure to look out for others, but look out for yourself as well because YOU are just as important!! make sure you take those breaks because we all need them sometimes :)

i hope this gave a bit of a motivation boost as i felt i needed one too!! look into the future, the end goal!! where do you want to be? shoot for the stars, right at that goal!! 💛💛

and just because for ANYONE seeing this, heres harry styles with a baby. it brought a smile to my face and i hope it brings one to yours as well :) have a lovely day!! the askbox is always open along with messages if you ever need to chat! <3

#motivation #this is what i normally do when i need some bc it’s hard out there for some of us and we all need some motivation when we can get it #plus harry styles with a baby is golden 🥰

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gentlethorns · 4 years

Note

1-31

JKJFLKJGDKLS did you mean. 1 through 31?? like. all of them?? LMFAOOOOOO okay but i’m sticking them under a readmore bc that is gonna be SO long

1. what is a genre you love reading but will probably never write? mysteries/crime. i love the technique and expertise it takes to expertly lay out and set up a plot twist, but i don’t think i could ever do it aptly myself.

2. which writer has had the greatest stylistic influence on your writing? probably stephen king, if we’re talking fiction, but even then i don’t think he’s influenced me a ton - my writing voice is pretty distinctive (or so i’ve been told). as far as poetry, i think reading @candiedspit‘s work has really caused me to stretch my expectations of where words can go and what they can do.

3. has a specific song/lyric ever inspired a work of art for you? absolutely! i’m super inspired by music, bc music is really important to me as a means of emotional expression. back in sophomore year of high school i was working on a story where all the chapters were inspired by songs from folie a deux by fall out boy. it didn’t pan out and i never finished it, but i still think the concept was neat.

4. a writer whose personal lifestyle really speaks to you? lmfao not to talk about him again, but stephen king’s lifestyle really appeals to me. his writing is widely known and renowned, but he just chills at home and watches the red sox games and takes pictures of his corgi and keeps turning out stories. that literally sounds like paradise to me.

5. do you write both prose and poetry? which do you prefer? i do write both! and i can’t say i honestly prefer one over the other - my interest bounces between them and waxes and wanes, but i don’t consistently indulge one more than the other, i don’t think. last year i went through a huge fiction phase in october and cranked out eight or nine different short stories/flash pieces, and then in november/december i went through a poetry phase and wrote multiple poems a day for a long stretch of time. it just depends on my mood and my mindset and what i need from writing (a kind of escape vs. emotional expression/release).

6. do you read both prose and poetry? which do you prefer? i do read both, and again, i don’t think i have a preference. i definitely read fiction more, i think, but like writing, it kind of depends what i need at the time.

7. which language do you write in? which do you want to write in someday? i write in english, since it’s the only language i know. i’d like to learn spanish at some point, but i don’t know if i could ever write in spanish - i’m so firmly married to english grammar and structure that i don’t know if i could ever exercise the same control and mastery over spanish that i could english.

8. share a quote or verse that has been on your mind lately. “you said i killed you - haunt me, then!” from wuthering heights.

9. a writer/poet whose life you find interesting. *sigh*. stephen king. i’ve read his memoir/writing workshop book (”on writing”) and his success story always fascinates me. i just can’t imagine living in a shitty one-bedroom apartment with your wife and two kids and working days at an industrial laundromat and spending nights writing on a shitty wobbly desk in the laundry room, and you get your first manuscript accepted for publication, and eventually the paperback rights go up and you think you might get $60,000 if you’re really lucky, and then one day while your wife and kids are visiting the in-laws you get a call from your agent telling you that the paperback rights for your book sold for $400,000 and 200K of it is yours. that’s just literally. unfathomable to me lmfao.

10. what do you feel about the idea of someone unearthing your unseen or discarded drafts someday, long after your death? what about your personal journal? it’s really hard for me to imagine that happening, i think bc i tend to see myself as really like. insignificant or unimportant in the grand scheme of things, so i can’t imagine any part of me lasting beyond my life. also, it’s very hard for me to imagine someone i don’t know personally reading my work, probably because my work (especially a personal journal) is a window into me, and i have a hard time even letting people i trust see into that window sometimes, much less a stranger.

11. do you prefer to write in silence or listen to something? what do you listen to? i definitely prefer music in the background, although i can work in silence. i tend to gravitate to music that goes with the scene i’m writing, if i’m writing fiction (often i work music into my fiction, so if there’s a song playing in the scene, i’ll listen to that song), and if i’m writing poetry i tend to just listen to laid-back music (unless i’m writing from a place of grief or sadness, in which case i listen to sad music lmfao). i do also love writing when it’s storming outside and just listening to the rain and the thunder as i write.

12. has an image ever impacted your artistic lens/inspired your work? absolutely! less often than music, but visuals can inspire me on occasion. i once wrote a poem based on this image. i just couldn’t get it out of my head, so i decided to figure out what it was saying to me.

13. how would you describe the experience of writing itself? as in putting the words to paper, not planning or moodboards etc. do you agree with the common idea that the satisfaction lies in reading your work after you are done with it, rather than the process of writing itself? i think the process can be arduous sometimes, and other times it can be incredible. sometimes i write very slowly and haltingly, sometimes i write at a normal pace and it feels like the work it is (bc i am trying to write professionally), but sometimes the magic tap in the mind turns on and it starts flowing. that being said, i don’t necessarily agree that the satisfaction lies only in reading your work rather than also in the process. there’s a certain fulfillment in watching everything come together and knowing it’s going to be good.

14. how often do you write? it varies. i would like to write more often than i do, now that i have a full-time school schedule and work part time friday-sunday, but i think i still get a decent amount of writing done, when i can actually sit down and motivate myself to get the words out.

15. how disciplined are you about your writing? not very, in the creative sense - as discussed above, i don’t write as often as i should/would like to, and don’t hold myself to much of a schedule. however, as far as the business side of it (submitting to magazines/contests), i’m pretty disciplined, and i’m usually pretty good about keeping all my “good” pieces in circulation at a couple of places at a time.

16. what was your last long-lasting spurt of motivation? maybe last night? i worked on a couple of pieces and then submitted a few groups of poems to some magazines. i also did some decent work on thursday while i was in my campus starbucks waiting for my zoom class to start.

17. have you ever been professionally published? are you trying to be? i have been professionally published! i got my first acceptance back in 2018, and now i’ve had poetry published multiple times and fiction published twice. i’m still trying to publish more of my work, but i think i’ve had a decent start.

18. do you read literary magazines? not regularly, although i entered a fiction contest for into the void last year, and since it came with a year-long subscription, i’ve been browsing the fiction there periodically. into the void tends to publish good short/flash fiction, so anytime i feel like reading some new stories, i head there.

19. a lesser known writer you adore? idk if she’s necessarily “lesser-known,” but i loved ally carter’s gallagher girl series when i was younger. the first four books were immaculate (although i do remember that the last two books seemed almost unnecessary, and the ultimate end of the series was anticlimactic).

20. do you write short stories? do you read them? i write and read them! up until october of last year i could never figure out how to write a short story and effectively resolve a conflict in 5000 words or less, but then suddenly (like. literally overnight), a switch flipped in my head and i could do it. as far as reading them, i don’t read a ton anymore bc of my busy schedule ( :( ), so sometimes if i’m in the mood to read i’ll opt for a short story online or a book of short stories instead of a full-length novel.

21. do you prefer to involve yourself with literary history and movements or are you more focused on the writing itself? any favourite literary movements? i’m typically more focused on the writing itself, although i do love to learn about the horror boom from the 50s-80s (if that counts as a literary movement lmfao). i also do particularly love work from the era of deconstructionism, which i think took place in like. the 40s-60s, if i’m not mistaken. i enjoy that era bc of its symbolism and abstract nature - a lot of the work leaves the reader to draw their own conclusions.

22. are you working on anything right now? not particularly? i have a few works in progress that i tinker with now and then, but i’m not seriously working on anything in particular.

23. how did you get started with writing? i honestly don’t even remember. i remember the first time i realized that i really liked writing and had fun doing it (in fourth grade, for a school competition), but i know that even before then i was writing stories and poems.

24. do you have any “writer friends”? most of my mutuals are writer friends! but i don’t have any irl. i almost made one in my math class last semester, but we lost contact when our university shut down in march.

25. what is your earliest work you can remember? the earliest work i can remember is when i was really young (maybe like. five or six?). it was about our dog being pregnant (which she was at the time) and able to talk (which she was not).

26. have you found your writer’s voice yet? does your work have a distinct tone? absolutely. i’m very confident in my style and the distinctiveness of my voice - it’s been there pretty much since i first started writing. i’ve improved since then, honed my voice and made it more sophisticated and effective, but at the core, it’s still me, like it always has been.

27. do your works share themes/are commonly about certain topics? or are your subjects all over the place? in poetry, i think i tend to write about grief or loss of some sort or another often, bc it’s something i tend to feel often - either that or a false bravado (but ig that’s more of a tonal device). as far as fiction, i like to write about religion gone wrong (false religion, religion as a front for personal gain and corruption, religion gone too deep into obsession and mania, etc.), and i like smart underdog-type characters that fight and have a lot of grit to them.

28. what does writing mean to you? to me, writing is catharsis, a bloodletting. this particularly applies to poetry, but it also applies to fiction. poetry shows you the things you’re regurgitating up-front, but fiction does it slyly, in a mirror or through a distorting lens. regardless, both stand to offer release and healing.

29. in an alternate universe, imagine you had not found writing. what do you think would be your fixation otherwise? honestly, i’m not sure. probably acting or theater. something creative, for sure.

30. do you feel defined by your work? maybe a little, but not to a large or limiting extent. like, in a new class, my interesting fact about myself will probably always be “i’m a writer and i’ve been published a few times,” but i think that i’m a well-rounded person and that once people get to know me, my writing is just a part of me, not my whole identity.

31. have you ever written/considered writing under a pen name? if you would be okay saying, why? no, i don’t think i have. while a pen name can be a good tool, depending on your goals and what you’re writing, i have a Thing about getting credit where i’m due credit lmfao. i don’t think i’ll ever use a pen name bc if i know something i do is good, i want my name on it.

#asks #anon #thirty-one asks for writers #JAKFJDLJDALKJ this was so long thank you for asking

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cruddyborderlandstheories · 4 years

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Sorry I haven't been active beyond shitposts lately, I've been busy getting my thesis up and running and barely have time or brainpower to spare to write at night before I pass out

On the bright side I read 6 pages of an academic paper this week and understood EVERYTHING. Yes I had to Google every other word (not literally, but it sure felt like it at times) but I actually understood it all in the end and I am so proud of myself.

6 pages, u might say, 6 pages is all u did in 3 days?? Well... Yeah XD It's a math and theory based paper, have mercy pls. I gotta work everything out on paper and then take notes that are informative enough for future reference and I get tired after every 2 pages to the point I'm falling asleep at my desk... I have a poor work ethic.

I also think I'm close to tying in what I wanna do to Systems Theory like my prof. Wants. He's very into reconstructability analysis and multidimensional relations with his probabilistic databases and well. I found that probabilistic deductive databases are a thing and You Know Me...

There's this thing called a trilattice right. And it consists of 3 partial orderings on the same set each going a different direction with each direction also being a lattice, it's actually *really* cool. Anyway, my profs catchphrase is BASICALLY "information is constraint" and GUESS WHAT BABEY. One of those partial orderings on the trilattice for the rules in the PDDB (probabilistic deductive database) is named Knowledge in a interval of [0,1] because it tells you the amount of information that specific fact gives you!

So I'm gonna ask him for help tomorrow morning to see if that can't be tied back in to a sort of reconstruction but for probabilistic deductive databases and their rules. Because with regular probabilistic databases it's easy to have 3 variables (ABC) then split into 2 (AB) and 2 (BC), and then reconstruct it from there right? But. I don't know how that would be possible with Rules based on facts and logic not just probabilities, and I wanna know if it's even possible because there IS still math involved with the rules, I just don't know if I'd be able to reconstruct anything with it cuz I don't even know the first step to that problem cuz it seems so different from the Regular PDB reconstruction problem and I GUESS that's what the whole thesis research thing is for, but STILL. I am just. So Tired. Let me sleep.

I put off so much work today just to do more research on my thesis like a CHUMP. I should've finished my parallel programming hw, but I didn't. Haha. I put it off too long already it's due Friday XD

Oh also I start work tomorrow so I will have even less time. But I am starting work!!! I'm actually kinda excited. I'm gonna be TAing 2 classes which sounds cool! except a lot of the students are my friends (4/5 in one class and 2/2 in the other!!). So it will be kinda awkward since I am the extra help session. At some point my prof (same one who is my thesis advisor) wants me to actually teach an entire lesson myself. I am so nervous I have super bad stage fright lol. Actually tho, these two classes tie right into my thesis subject so hopefully by then I will be well read on all the subjects necessary to teach. I can, at the very least, teach them reconstruction. Maybe not much else, but I got that going for me haha

Oh God what happened I was gonna go to bed with an apology like, "yes Ive just shitpost for the past like week sorry about that" but here I am 1am, meeting at 11am (I can't be fully rested on sub-11/12 hours of sleep fml), just rambling about my life I am so sorry

You guys wanna see a candle I made today as a gift for actually reading this (and as part of the apology)

It's so beautiful

I was gonna put one of my borderlands stickers on but I was worried it'd peel when I lit it, so I chose a sticker I had 2 copies of

My mom thinks it's hilarious and that's all I needed I also got her to say "big yikes" today because we spilled wax on the oven mitts my power grows

#Sleeping like. 13+ hours a day + naps is totally normal right #Totally.#You wanna hear someone frantically yell about probabilistic databases? No? Toobadyourereadingitanyway #Jkjk #Cruddy rambles

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xsteriism · 5 years

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Hey congrats on 300 followers 🥳 also as a prompt can we just have some fluffy IronDad and SpiderSon making pancakes, when you get the chance of course :3

Hello!! Thank you for the prompt! I hope you enjoy it, I enjoyed writing it xD

I’m also sorry for not writing in so long (the chirstmas thing doesnt really count), ive been struggling recently but its okay bc im bACK BABY

——

“It’s too early for this,” Tony sighs, putting the recipe he printed on the marble counter. What made him think that waking up early to make pancakes from scratch was a good idea? Ah, yes, the little spider-ling who was currently sleeping in his bedroom because he had a nightmare. The things he would do and the extents he would go for the boy baffled him sometimes.

Reluctantly, the engineer picked up the piece of paper, trudging around the pristine kitchen to gather the ingredients and cutlery. He really should be increasing his pace if he wanted to finish the pancakes before Peter woke up, especially since the teen had super-hearing and may wake to the sound of clanging. But really, Tony had maybe three hours of sleep, too busy chasing the nightmares away from the young hero, so his sluggishness could be excused.

Looking at all the ingredients displayed before him and the recipe that seemed to mock him for his incompetence in the kitchen, Tony wonders if he should ask Pepper for help. Alas, his CEO had already left the penthouse to do CEO things, being the responsible adult she is and all, so the poor billionaire was left to his own devices.

And honestly? With how he burnt an omelette after taking hours to make it, Tony doesn’t have much hope with the pancakes. He was still going to try, of course, but just looking at the recipe hurt his brain. How did professional chefs do this? Mechanics and fixing things was much easier, in his opinion.

Tony looks at everything displayed before him and sighs again. Hopefully, with any luck, Peter won’t wake up to burnt pancakes and Pepper won’t come back to a messy kitchen.

——

Peter wakes up with a headache, as expected after the nightmares and crying himself to sleep. He hears the distinct sound of clanging, then a crash, followed by a curse, and decides that he has no time to sleep off his headache.

Rolling his heavy body out of bed, the teen slips his feet into soft and fluffy bunny slippers before dragging himself to the kitchen. In the hallway, with the perfect view of the kitchen, he sees the mess that is the kitchen.

Mr. Stark is wearing an apron that read ‘I am the boss,’ looking anything but a boss. There is a bowl filled with some sort of batter splattered on the kitchen floor and… was that flour in his hair? He watches as his mentor pulls his hair, staring in distress at the sight of the mess that he made, cursing with a frown on his face.

“Um…” Peter starts and he has to hide his smile behind his hand when his mentor whips around with the most guilty expression he has ever seen. “Mr. Stark? Are you okay?”

“Okay? Do I look—” the adult takes a deep breath, looking like he’d rather be in his lab than in the kitchen. “I’m okay, I’m totally fine. Everything’s going exactly as planned—”

Peter eyes the mess on the floor, watching as the thick batter spreads. “Do you want my help?”

“No, I don’t want your help. I’m a grown adult and I can do adult things like cook pancakes,” Mr. Stark said, following Peter’s gaze and they both stare at the growing mess. “Okay, maybe I do need your help.”

“Yay! Let’s make pancakes together!” The young hero cheers, smiling brightly. They start afresh by clearing the ruined batter on the ground because Peter is a good boy and they can’t possibly work with the mess mocking them on the floor.

They measure the ingredients perfectly, as stated on the recipe, and separates them into different bowls. Then, they dump the ingredients together and laugh when they whip too hard, causing some batter to fly and smack them in the face.

Of course, they are science geniuses, so the next part would be a little tricky for there was no math involved. Plus, with Tony’s lack of culinary skills and May as Peter’s guardian, they were bound to fail.

“Oil! Oil! Did you put oil?” Peter asks frantically when his mentor looked as if he was going to dump the batter straight into the pan. “Where’s the oil?”

And when they got that under control…

“What do you mean ‘when the edges are brown’?” Peter yells at the phone, the paper with the recipe and instructions that Tony printed long forgotten. “I need numbers, how long do we need to wait before we flip?”

Tony’s face was directly over the pan, squinting at the batter. “It doesn’t look very brown on the edges, so maybe a while longer?”

The younger rushes over, squeezing his head beside his mentor’s to see what was going on in the pan. They looked like two young children, watching something for the first time.

“Do we flip now?” Tony asks when a particularly large bubble forms. “Quick, Pete, google ‘mistakes to avoid when making pancakes.’”

While Peter does as instructed, Tony decides that they’ve waited too long and flips the pancake over, watching in horror as the pancake is completely burnt. The engineer just thanks the lord they have more batter to experiment on. This was like science. Kind of. Trail and error.

“Mr. Stark!” Peter wails, throwing his head back dramatically. “The site says to ‘have faith that the pancake will let you know when it’s ready to flip.’ What does that mean?”

The younger paused, suddenly standing up straight. “Wait, does our pancake have to sentient? It has to let us know… what? I’m confused, Mr. Stark. Math is much easier than whatever this is.”

The billionaire nodded, dumping the burnt pancake onto a plate. He scoops more batter into the pan and hopes he won’t mess up again. “I don’t think we’re cut out for this.”

“Ya think, Mr. Stark? We belong in the lab,” Peter whines, running his hand down his face, unaware of the residual flour on his hands. “The kitchen is our hell.”

Before they can complain more, the elevator doors open, and Ms. Potts steps out. She paused at the sight of Peter’s flour-stained face, and the burnt pancake, and Tony’s dishevelled appearance.

“What happened? I came up to get some documents and this is what greets me?” Ms. Potts teases, smiling cheekily. She walks over to the singular brunt pancake, picking it up with her bare hands. “What is this?”

Tony rushes over to snatch the thing out of her hands, forgetting about the batter he just poured into the pan. “This is a pancake, thank you very much.”

While the two adults bicker, Peter smells the faint scent of burnt and curiously looks around. When he notices smoke coming from the pan, he runs over, shouting, “Mr. Stark! You burnt another pancake!”

Before any of the three can do something about it, F.R.I.D.A.Y activates the sprinklers and cool water rains upon them in the kitchen. Ms. Potts shields the documents in her hand with her body, while the other two just stand there and accept their fate.

“That’s it,” Peter winces as Ms. Potts starts to speak. “None of you are allowed in my kitchen ever again!”

Tony smiles guiltily as he thinks, ‘well, Peter didn’t wake up to burnt pancakes and Pepper didn’t come back to a messy kitchen— it was just the opposite.’

——

tags: @officialtonystarkprotectionsquad @the-world-will-end-guy @hollandrecs

#Precious Peter Parker #peter parker #tony stark #Tony Stark fanfiction #tony stark fluff #Peter Parker fluff #fluff #celestial irondad

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tempolarriefix · 4 years

Text

dig deeper tag game

thank you so much to one of my favorite people ever @goldenfive for tagging me in this q&a. ilysm! xx 1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or a blue pen? black gel pen is my go-to!

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or in the city? in the city. i love the feeling of everything all bustling, busy, and lit-up around me.

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be? this is going to sound sort of weird but i’ve been really tempted to learn lockpicking lately? so i’ll say that haha!

4. do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? ........yes, a lot of sugar. probably “too much” sugar.

5. What was your favourite book as a child? i hadn’t thought about this series in ages but i loved The Land of Elyon series and also Dealing with Dragons. 6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers! my old roommate loved baths and so i tried to get into them but its just not my thing.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would you be? something with magical powers!

8. Paper or electronic books? i always say that i prefer paper but... when was the last time I actually read a hardcopy book? i have no idea. so truthfully, electronic.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? an oversized hawaiian style shirt with a Brave (like the disney/pixar movie) inspired design

10. Do you like your name? Would you like to change it? i used to not really like it but now i do. (Teachers also always used to say things like “wow your parents named you serena and you really are so serene!” so that’s probably a factor).

11. Who is a mentor to you? i’m not sure actually? I guess my professor is.

12. Would you like to be famous? If so, what for? not really! i dont really like attention and overthink everything so i think if i were famous i’d just be stressin over every detail of everything all the time.

13. Are you a restless sleeper? nope! i’m a very deep sleeper.

14. Do you consider yourself to be a romantic person? not really? i love the concept of romance and enjoy romantic movies/books/fics but when it comes to real life I feel like making things super romantic also adds a lot of pressure so i’d rather just be chill

15. Which element best represents you? everyone says water signs are emotional and i am both a water sign and emotional so... i guess water?

16. Who do you want to be closer to? all my friends! while social distancing it’s been so different connecting with people and i feel like i’ve drifted quite a lot from the people i used to see almost every other day. 17. Do you miss someone at the moment? not any more than usual! Im always missing my long distance friends & my boyfriend.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. this is too vague idk what memory to share hahaha.

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? i’ll usually try anything once. i guess chicken feet is prob the strangest?

20. What are you most thankful for? my loved ones being safe & healthy

21. Do you like spicy food? yes but i’m sort of weak so there will be tears streaming out of my eyes even tho i’m having a good time.

22. Have you ever met someone famous? i met drake bell when i was in college bc a student club i was part of hosted him for a charity concert event. he was chill and actually had a really good voice during his sound check but then he got high during his meet & greet and after that at the actual show he didn’t sound quite as good hahaha. He was super nice & even took a pic with me for free tho!

23. Do you keep a diary or journal? nope. i used to keep a planner and even that didn’t last haha

24. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil? pencil if i’m working on something where i’ll make mistakes like writing or math but pen if im just jotting down notes or whatever.

25. What is your star sign? cancer

26. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy? soggy

27. What would you want your legacy to be? soph’s answer is literally so beautiful so i’m gonna steal it too: “that i made the world a little bit kinder and brighter and better while i was alive” 28. Do you like reading? What was the last book you read? i do enjoy reading but mostly i read fics! the last fic i read was adjudication by @bottomlinsons and it is FANTASTIC. the last actual book i read was the first game of thrones book.

29. How do you show someone you love them? quality time is my love language!

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? usually! i’m drinking iced coffee as i fill this out haha

31. What are you afraid of? failure

32. What is your favourite scent? the smell of an ice cream shop when you first walk in

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? whatever they introduce themselves to me as. if they don’t, then surname.

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? i would travel so much. if money wasn’t a factor i wouldn’t have to worry about affording to travel OR being able to take time off to do so... it would be great. i wouldn’t always choose the best value option when i purchased anything and would be able to actually support brands that have good values (sustainability, good wages for employees, etc.). i would donate to everything i’ve ever wanted to bc i always feel bad about having to pick which causes i feel most for bc i can’t afford to donate to everything. also i would drink way too much boba (which, let’s be real, i already do).

.35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? the ocean! though i guess i dont really swim so much as like... wave jump haha.

36. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground? try to see if someone lost it and if i couldn’t find them, then keep it.

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish? yes and of course!

38. What is one thing you would want to teach your children? just one? hahaha

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i have no idea but i would get it someplace hidden where no one would see it, not even me. maybe like a dot on the bottom of my foot lol. i really.... don’t want a tattoo.

40. What can you hear right now? construction noises

41. Where do you feel the safest? in bed

42. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer? feeling like i’ll never find a career or even field of work that i’m actually passionate about and enjoy and can actually make a steady living in 43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? maybe ancient egypt? there’s a lot of cool times to go back to & i’m really indecisive haha. 44. What is your most used emoji? red heart

45. Describe yourself using one word. indecisive

46. What do you regret the most? dwelling on things that were not important and letting it affect my happiness too much

47. Last movie you saw? the warcraft movie lol. i don’t recommend it but playing warcraft is great.

48. Last tv show you watched? either greys anatomy or b99, i can’t remember which was last 49. Invent a word and its meaning idk if there’s a word for this already, but i need a word for feeling like you want to be busy and have things to do when you don’t but then not wanting to do anything when you finally do. bc thats....me. hahaha.

anyways this is pretty long so thanks if you actually read it all. if you want to do this, i’ll tag @harryeatsburger, @louandhazzalove, @bottomlinsons, @nauticalleeds, @soft1ov, @allwaswell16, @lululawrence, @forreveries, @lightwoodsmagic, @ferricadooza, and anyone else who wants to do this. i highly recommend it when procrastinating other projects hahaha.

#tag game #thanks again soph ilysmmm #long post

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blurglesmurfklaine · 4 years

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Answer the prime numbered questions for the writers' ask meme!

Bold of you to assume I remember enough from math class in high school to know which numbers are prime EDIT: THERE ARE A LOT MORE PRIME NUMBERS THAN I THOUGHT THERE WERE (yes I had to google it I am not a Designated Math Gay)

1. Tell us about your WIP!

I’m currently posting Here We Go Again, which is the sequel to There From The Start where Blaine is the 12th member of the OG New Directions in season one! It’s actually a fic I didn’t realize would end up being so close to my heart but like I finished it the other day and big oof I was a sad girl.

2. Where is your favorite place to write?

Since covid? My room lol

3. What is your favorite/least favorite part about writing?

My favorite part is coming up with the emotional scenes which usually just come to me in the form of dialogue! I’m a total slut for drama or the result of emotional buildup

My LEAST fave part is like... coming up with a story that makes fucking *sense* around those bits lmaooooooo

5. Top five formative books?

(I’m gonna include fic in this)

All the other ghosts

LITTLE NUMBERS CHANGED MY LIFE OKAY

The Percy Jackson and the Olympians series

Perfect Chemistry which was just this trashy romance/drama novel (or maybe it wasn’t that trashy and I’ve been conditioned to think romance novels are trashy bc they focus on women) that got passed around in eighth grade and DEFINITELY started my addiction to love stories

Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult. I think this is one of my favorite books of all time. It’s so fucking beautiful and heartbreaking and I think I need to give it a re read tbh

7. Favorite/most inspirational book?

Oof this is so fucking hard. I’m not gonna say change of heart just bc I already used that one, so... Sing You Home also by Jodi Picoult just... fucks me right up man. And it’s gay. AND ITS GAY WITH A HAPPY ENDING. AND ITS NOT FIC CAN U BELIEVE?

11. What are you planning to work on next?

I’m kind of nervous about my next project actually, because it’s not a type of story I’ve ever tackled before and idek how to summarize it without making it seem like it’s about something it’s not??? Idek I know I’m not making sense lmaooooo

Basically, it’s Kurt and Blaine adjusting to life after being reunited after 7 years. I actually finished the first chapter today! It’s going to be called Amidst the Chaos :) I’m very excited but also kind of nervous bc I also don’t have all of it entirely fleshed out but we’ll see what happens!

13. Describe your writing process

Bro. I have no process.

Jk, recently, I’ve been going to my room, turning off my lights, and turning on my instrumental music playlist (Schubert, my dude, you got me through the last few chapters of HWGA) other than that... I guess I make a rough outline and then sort of figure things out as I go???

17. What things (scenes/topics/character types) are you most comfortable writing?

Scenes: I love awkward/uncomfortable/funny situations. They are my CRACK

Topics: characters discussing their family and friends

Character: I could be wrong but I feel like I’m pretty good at writing Finn?

19. How do you cope with writer’s block?

Take a break. Go for a walk. Read something new. Read something old of mine that I liked. Work on one shots that I forgot about like they’re a pallet cleanser. Go back and try to write and nothing comes to me AGAIN. Force my self to take a break for REAL this time. Wash, rinse, repeat.

23. Most anticipated upcoming books?

I don’t think I read enough books anymore to answer this, but some of my friends are working on things that I am very VERY excited to read! (Yes Brit and Adri this is about y’all)

29. Is writing more of a hobby or do you write with the intention of getting published?

100% a hobby. Cheaper than therapy!

37. Do you ever write long handed or do you prefer to type everything?

Sometimes I do write on pen and paper! I feel like your brain works differently when that happens. Some of my best things have come from writing on pen and paper, I think.

41. Are there any books you feel have shaped you as a writer?

This is gonna sound stupid, but I think the Captain Underpants series had a huge impact on me... HEAR ME OUT: I love comedy, I love to laugh, I love to make other people laugh, and those books were some of the first books that had me CACKLING as a child and I was like “OH WORM?” So I make sure to keep most of my stories light with humor!

43. How do you deal with rejection?

Usually I just bitch about it in private with my friends 😂😂 but I like to think I take *constructive* criticism pretty well!

47. Single or dual/multi POV?

I think it really depends on the story, but overall dual/multi. It’s something I still struggle with on some scenes because I’m like I WANT EVERYBODY TO KNOW THIS CHARACTERS EXACT REACTION AND THOUGHTS but like it just ain’t their time to shine 😔

53. What is the first line of your WIP?

AIGHT AIGHT AIGHT

This is from the next chapter of Here We Go Again:

“He hit her in the face?” Kurt’s voice rang from the other end of the line.

This is from my not yet posted WIP, Amidst the Chaos:

Table five—sriracha sauce, he thinks to himself.

And this one is from one I may or may not tackle (but if I do it’s gonna be called Cruel Summer bc I’m s slut for t swizzle):

In the seven years that they’ve known each other, Blaine has never—not once—liked a single boyfriend Sebastian has introduced to their friend group.

THANKS SO MUCH FOR THIS ASK!!! It was super fun :))) 🥰

#ask #asks #anon #anonymous

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disegnidipizzo · 5 years

Photo

finally some decent refs for these two messes on legs/fins

the whole story under the cut, prepare bc i got carried away and i am not sorry about anything, at all, ever, in any circumstance.

SALVIA NUNARI

Salvia Nunari would rather tend for their forbidden plants garden than the troll grubs and would sneak out a lot to do her thing in the very dilapidated greenhouse their ancestor left behind, along with all the books on plants, herbal medicine and poisons (and some interesting things about jades). They know that jades Shouldn’t stray from their path but if their lusus taught them something, it’s that sometimes, you need to do things in the dark.

Considering that they’re a racoon, they also say a lot of things about finding solace in what one has left behind. It wasn’t about trash, but you got the gist. And they have a pope hat, but you don’t know what a pope is. Still, they look funny with it on. Like a monarch or a ruler of All Things Unwanted and Abandoned.

As they got more experienced, they started making new breeds of plants and crossbreeding some relatively harmless carnivores to create a poisonous/venomous strain, in the very faint hope that MAYBE they could be somewhat employed by the Empire. It wasn’t that much of a plan but. It worked. Sort of. When the baby plant opened its trap, Salvia got poisoned to death thanks to a bite to the neck. Turns out that the new strain can move rather effortlessly and quickly and that it consider food most things that move.

The first death allows em to ascend to rainbow drinker.

Follows a minor freak out due to “HOLY FUCK IM GLOWING HOW DO I TURN THIS OFF” and “I’m dead. I’m so dead im still alive.”

Conveniently, their ancestor’s Very Interesting Things About Jades handbook does contain info on rainbow drinkers and how to turn off the glow. Salvia doesn’t die twice for another day! Good thing it was all in the next chapter.

They had to hide the deathly wound lest being found out (and most likely culled in .5 seconds) before going back to the caverns, hence why they wear the neckpiece. It wasn’t really theirs in the first place, it was one of their ancestor’s ones that had gotten too small for them (but was kinda part of their uniform).

TIAMAT KIITCH

Tiamat Kiitch enjoyes being eccentric. When you rank so up high, it’s only fair to flaunt your taste, even if it’s not the most accepted by you signclassmates. Sucks to be them, not everybody can understand what it means to Really be a patron of the arts. Or of the artists. Maybe this is why everybody sees you as unfit for the imperial army and would rather shove you on a planet so that they can get some sensory relief. Because a Violet that supports so many painters, sculptors and even musicians of all classes, even below cerulean? Sacrilegious. Or maybe they really just don’t like it. Violets aren’t exactly social with one another. Call that a competitive environment, ay.

As her Departure Day to said planet of Thank God Sound Can’t Travel In The Void of Space, she has to make preparations. A whole sweep ahead is not too early. She’s going out with a bang, mofos.

Also, it’s only fair she would pick the best trolls to be part of her new, off planet hive estate staff. And she is NOT going to cheap out on the good stuff. Going full crew over here, from the doctors to cleaning staff and doctors for the cleaning stuff. Don’t worry, she can afford it.

And she goes to Personally pick the heads of each branch of people who work for her. Since jades make for the best doctors and caretakers, she pays a visit to a few caverns that have great reputation. Which is a good amount of them.

Among the (very few but very capable) jades that have been picked, she just had to have an eye for the one that has that something of mystery and secret but also that knows how to make medicine out of most plants (how did they learn?? Who cares, they can do that and i want them. Get in, we’re going off planet.). Also the one that looks like they’re up to Trouble.

And that’s where the problems begin.

The Actual Plot

Rainbow drinkers need blood, which is easy enough to get on Alternia, since trolls are canonically very violent as a species and all that. Just using dead bodies lying around is easy, there’s also the culled grubs in the caves that need disposing. Yes it sounds bad because feeding babies to carnivorous plants is objectively bad. Also, soil which contains troll blood/ is watered with troll blood is very good for most plants, but leads to fun mutations. Some of them are learning how to “talk” by opening their petals, leaves or traps. Not great conversation partners but you’ll take anything.

Life with Tiamat would mean increasing the chances of being found as a drinker and being culled, blood harder to find and less chances to experiment with herbology independently.

BUT staying wouldn't be better, as once they are cloistering age, they won't be able to even see their garden anymore.

You start to wonder if this is how your ancestor felt.

You also start to wonder how long has the violetblood been staring at yo-AFJDGN

When Tiamat has an eye out for something/someone, she gets super into observing them. From a distance at first, to understand how they work their magic. Not that she needs to, but she feels like a documentary worker. If she knew what those were.

During the picking process she was surprised by Salvia: despite being rather small, even for a midblood, they had fast reflexes and overall sharp senses, which kind of doesn’t sound right. The hivemaster and some hivemates described them as more aloof and not particularly outstanding outside of average efficiency.

Im realising this could be a disney channel vampire movie plot minus the violence.

They aren't scheduled for leaving for around a sweep, as the colony tiamat is gonna be overseeing will need time before its declared operative and ready for aristocracy to live in. This gives Salvia ample time to transfer books, notes and plant seeds/stems into more easy to carry media. Paper does take up a lot of space. It’s easy enough as books can be digitalised quickly. Technology is great.

More importantly, they need the SOIL. Which needs to be fertilised with special sauce. Which is blood. You decide to get a snack.

Now, you imagine being a fish lady that is following one of your most brilliant but most mysterious doctors around, only to find out they are a vampire and that they water the soil of their plants with troll blood. And that feeds dead grubs to the carnivores. (And that they look kinda cute while glowing in the dark and with a splorch of blood dripping down their lip wait what)

Now imagine hearing a gasp mixed with a glub and seeing your employer which could have you killed on the spot or kill you herself while you are in the middle of getting a snack with your plant and glow on.

Remember that Tiamat is a good 40 cms / one foot and a few inches taller (minus shoes). So you do the math that, even if you run, you won't have much and also run Where? If you fight? Might die. Neither? Also probably die.

So what happens is a very intense stare off. And i mean neither blink for a solid 2 minutes.

And then Tiamat, slightly intrigued of having a rainbow drinker (super rare and so unjustly or maybe not so unjustly feared) just goes. "So.. that’s your special sauce."

And Salvia just confesses, accepting a death that was gonna come anyways. This was a stupid plan.

But that death doesn't arrive, Tiamat could never kill or let die something so unique, so completely unruly and also potentially deadly that is by her side die on her. That is the embodiment of what she wishes to keep alive with her patronage, you think having a forbidden vampire scientist is out of the question? Nuh-uh. They are Gucci. So Gucci they’re Supreme.

With time the bond strengthens and they slowly go quadrant

Well, its a sometimes sorta vacillating quadrant but they are into each other.

They share half a brain cell each

That Gay Shit (tm)

The love part is mainly on Tiamat because hey, its intimate yknow? Being the only one knowing about something so personal. It escalates into giving salvia special treatment/privileges such as better meals, a small lab of their own, a supply of dead trolls to get the blood from (executed political dissidents or criminals but thats another story). Eventually it grows more to being about their personality and their knowledge but also a bit about how they can make an amputation go clean as a bottle of disinfectant, but they will forget to eat a bunch of times in a row.

Salvia does sorta reciprocate the red feelings, but at the same time they lean more on the blackrom side. Constantly making subtle remarks they havent tasted violet blood before. Sorta leaving thankful notes with a lipstick/bloodstain and a small caption of "wish this was yours <3<"

Also salvia purposelly red flirting in front of tiamat with other staff ("But i just thought they look cute :(( cant you see they look like a snacc ")

But theres also days in which the roles are reversed bc thats how fluctuating quadrants work!

During those days, Tiamat will be taking up a good chunk of extra space around Salvia, just as a reminder that she is not only above them on the hemospectrum, but also a whole lot taller and stronger. Also that she can take away those privileges. Temporarily. Unless they can earn them back.

On the other hand, Salvia in red is super affectionate, loves doing Tiamat's hair and makeup and letting her do the same. They leave occasional small kisses which are more like pecks or "hey feel my fangs".

So in short:

Red Salvia: the datemate that gives you a makeover in the morning, calls you "princess" and spoils you with gestures and cuddles.

Black Salvia: little shit, messes with your stuff, reminds you that you look delicious when alive.

Red Tiamat: spoils materially, gives plenty of time, shares meals and listens carefully to all that you have to say.

Black Tiamat: would keep you with the hanmibal mask on if she could, keeps you on your toes, stay in your place and be good.

#Fantrolls #homestuck #hiveswap #ocs #fantroll #salvia #tiamat #DDPdraws

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sometimes-legal-blonde · 5 years

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University of California, Riverside- hacks

so, when I first sent in my SIR to UC Riverside- I had not a clue what to expect from coming to this school. I didn’t hear a lot about their theatre department, I was nervous about greek life, I was anxious about finding a job, finding my way finding roommates, etc, etc.

I scoured the internet, Pinterest, Tumblr, Reddit(which was honestly the best source) for real student opinions of what it’s like to go here. and I didn’t find much.

Since I am finishing my first year at UCR, I figure I will write out ALL the essentials and pass them down to you, reader, to be able to conquer UCR, make a solid college choice, and know what to expect.

ORIENTATION

so highlander orientation is a mandatory thing. It’s a good thing too- you really start to understand the school and the people and the vibe. you learn the campus and how to get around. you meet really dope people.

~You need to register for the earliest one you can find~

I am saying this because you register for classes at orientation. I went to the last orientation and didn’t even get into a major related LC. It sucked.

You also need to take placement tests BEFORE you go to orientation so you know WHAT to register for. Spanish? Math? English? find a UC and take your test to get it done. It’s super helpful.

It is HOT. Bring water. Bring good shoes (i walked 10 miles one day!). Bring a portable charger.

MOVE IN.

it’s hard. + exhausting. +scary. + exciting. I’m from the bay so i had a long way to go with tons of stuff and it sucked. It was also super emotional for my family and so that’s draining. Just be ready for that. Get there EARLY. If your move in says 2pm, honestly you could get there at 1. Get the good closet + dresser + bed. snooze ya lose.

GREEK LIFE

So I knew before coming to UCR i wanted to rush a sorority. It has honestly been such a great thing for me. Greek life at UCR isn’t everything. It doesn't define your life if you do/don’t rush- you can still be in a social scene without it. BUT- it IS really amazing if you do choose to rush.

If you are considering rushing~

- bring cute clothes! you need like cute outfits for all the days of rush + things that make you look cute and happy and make you feel good about yourself.

- follow the sororities on Instagram and get a little familiar with them. so when you go to the houses you kindof know what you’re getting into.

- do NOT feel pressured to go to a certain house because of a reputation or because of a friend you’re rushing with. Find YOUR home, somewhere YOU love and that you feel like you’ll be so happy at. These are the girls you’ll have sleepovers with and cry about boys but also go to dances and banquets and parties with. find your right spot.

when you rush

get INVOLVED in your CHAPTER. Getting involved immediately made me feel more at home with the girls. Do the bake sales, go to LETTERS!! play moonball, anchor splash, do your volunteer hours with them. It makes it so much more fun and you love the girls so much more.

Theatre, Film, and Digital Production

so my major is TFDP with an emphasis in acting and directing. I always loved stage and it is where I see my success but this program is really versatile and has you work on both. It’s a GREAT department. I LOVE the staff, people, and opportunities. GET INVOLVED. If you are a theatre major you NEED to be auditioning, working crew, meeting professors, going to coffee with the fourth years, and learning all you can from one another, There are SO many resources on campus. here are a few that helped me:

- R’ Shorts (a film club on campus! audition for their stuff)

- ALL THAT JAZZ MUSICAL THEATRE (I founded this club, we do musical theatre stuff and masterclasses, its GREAT)

- Latina Play Project/Model Minority (both theatre groups that work so hard and do great shows!)

-GLUCK (get paid to do IMPROV)

- and honestly just auditioning for everything on campus!! The department itself does fall play, winter musical/winter film, and a spring production as well. Also, there are a lot of other ways to get involved in the department- there is ALWAYS something going on.

In my experience, getting involved with people in the theatre department was the best thing I did for myself because everyone is SO kind and generous and wants you to succeed.

CONCERTS

UCR throws amazing- AMAZING concerts. The lineups are great, the food is great, the photo opps are great, the pregames/after parties are GREAT. Just go, have a great time, and enjoy yourself.

CLASSES

so like usually college is where we go to do school and stuff- and classes are HARD(for certain majors). I’m TFDP/Dance but I still have to take breadth and do the whooole shebang so here are a few tips to boost your GPA (even tho C’s get degrees).

1. RATE MY PROFESSOR! LISTEN TO IT!! DO NOT TAKE POORLY RATED CLASSES! SRLSLY

2. Taking a class C/NC is not the end of the world. If it is going to tank your GPA- DONT DO IT FOR A LETTER GRADE. there is a form online that allows you to CNC until i think week 8?

3. take a dance practice class for an EASY A and a GPA boost. My first quarter I took 2 dance practices before I declared dance and bc I literally SHOWED UP i got an A. People who don’t dance take these classes! Take beginning ballet or beginning hip hop. or spanish dance. literally any beginning course will be easy and fun.

4. Study rooms are orbach are coveted during finals week. reserve in ADVANCE.

5. 1st floor orbach- loud. 2nd floor orbach- silent. 3rd floor orbach- greek.

6. if youre desperate- go on reddit and make a post about a certain class. reddit has saved me a few times honestly. hidden gem.

7. GO TO OFFICE HOURS FOR YOUR TA’s. THEY ARE THE ONES GRADING YOU, SO IF YOU NEED SOMETHING AND THEY KNOW YOU- YOU’LL GET IT. I always had my Hist TA look at my papers before turning them in and one time my paper got submitted wrong and she let me resubmit and saved my ass. Literally just because I asked questions and was on her good side.

RIVERSIDE THINGS

+back to the grind coffehouse in downtown is open really late, good coffee, and it’s cute. it’s cash only tho.

+iced coffee from Lee’s sandwiches works better than adderall sometimes. it’s cheap and amazing.

+$1 tacos at the taco place on university next to asian fusion/walgreens

+ding tea is supreme, roasting waters is shitty boba(but good smoothies) with cool, reusable, glasses, boba tea house is the closest walk to campus, but Ten Ren’s is the BEST for studying.

+ontario airport is closest to UCR.

+everyone raves. so EDM is huge.

+you don’t need a bike to get around campus. I walked everywhere. It was great. it takes 15 minutes TOPS to get from one side to the other.

+taps works harder than the devil

+inkhouse tattoos in moreno valley is $35 tattoos on Tuesdays and 1/2 off piercings.

+riverside is pretty sketchy in some parts. Make sure you stay with people if you’re exploring at night.

+THE SRC HAS FREE MASSAGES SOME DAYS.

+UCR is in the shape of a circle. if you get lost, go to the belltower and work from there. people are really helpful.

+if you have to take an 8am, take it your first year when you live on campus. and take it your first quarter. after winter, you lose your will to LIVE...

+if you get shitty classes, try to register again 2nd pass. It’s worth a shot!!!!

+if you can’t get any classes you need, SHOW UP TO THE LECTURE AND ASK TO BE ADDED.

#ucr #university of california riverside #UC Riverside #ratchetside #the riv #dirty riv #lmao #college hacks #college tips #theatre major #dance major #film major

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randomthingsthatilike1 · 7 years

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It’s funny that I keep seeing things that act as if Lena would be the helpless one out of her and Kara and I absolutely adore Kara and the girl is a damn genius with super powers and picks up things fast, but growing up she also had to deal with extreme culture shock, PTSD, and along with powers sensory overload, to name just a few of the things about her childhood on Earth. She comes from a dying planet with insanely advanced technology and science—not really survival skills, and more so just trying to adapt and heal.

Lillian was teaching Lena chess at the age of 4. And say what you want about the Luthors, and there’s plenty, we see Lena working weekends, nights, hell Thanksgiving—she’s a CEO by 24, probably more than a few degrees. That kind of work ethic and drive (regardless if it’s actually healthy, it’s huge) didn’t come from nowhere. Every single skill Lionel and Lillian could cram into Lex and Lena, they probably did. Regardless of how Lillian might feel about Lena she’s going to have expectations, and at the absolute least if she’s going to have to be this girl’s mother she might as well make her useful, or someone for Lex to compete against, and Lillian loves Lex.

There’s no point to giving him a rival if that person isn’t pushed and given the same kind of preparation and training and education that he receives. And Lillian is someone who can be on the run from everyone and not get caught—that’s going to take more than just money, that’ll take skill. Not to mention running a black ops program with no one the wiser isn’t exactly on the list of things that a rich housewife can do.

Kara is from a technologically advanced planet—maybe a few days is fine but she’s probably so horrified not to be around any tech she only likes camping for the difference in her senses and all the pretty nature and landscape. Imagine if you went back to a time before indoor plumbing—and sure a week of it is fine but months and months???? No. It’s probably worse for Kara. She was p well supplied with tech, if the spy beacon that Astra had that had a signal that could be received anywhere was simply a child’s plaything—or if it wasn’t, and it was something she had because of Astra’s military connections, then who knows what else she had access to? She’s probably good with mechanics, to a certain extent because of her father the scientist—who created a damn rocket and taught her plenty about mechanical engineering—but they would have had different elements on Krypton. It’s hard to know how to build something when all the materials are different—Lena would be just as screwed if she was given Kryptonian materials from the get go.

But my point is, Lena is probably actual fucking MacGyver, or even better yet, the Supergirl version of Elliot Spencer. The Luthors definitely seem like the kind of people who have their kids be in Boy/Girl Scouts, because you never know when you might need those skills—they’re Luthors, they have people gunning for them from the cradle. You never know when you might need some of those skills, especially if you need to go off grid, or have to dump everything in a moment’s notice. Like I’m not making a definitive statement, except yes, yes I am if you gave Lena a knife and some decently warm clothes and set her off into a forest she’d probably be fine for however long she’d be there for. Lillian and probably Lionel seem like they would definitely hire a swim coach to make sure their strokes are textbook perfect, but first they’d absolutely and quite literally throw them in the deep end to teach them how to swim—the coach is about achieving perfection, and this is survival. And Luthors don’t depend on anyone else for that—the sooner they learn that the better.

A powerless Kara, on the other hand, would be absolutely fucked. She may have gone camping w alex but lbr kara definitely used heat vision to start a fire and has no idea what kind of clothes to pack or what to do about bug bites and maybe knows how to pitch a tent and some useful things that don’t rely on her powers but 5 minutes after losing her powers she cuts her hand on glass and breaks her arm—it’s not a matter of intellect, but it’s kind of like how astronauts look up when they drop a pencil—you get used to a certain baseline. Kara could definitely learn, but Lena already knows what she’s doing. Lena was taught she couldn’t trust on anyone but herself to survive and Kara was taught stronger together. This isn’t to say this is a failure of Kara’s that this isn’t her mentality—Kara has plenty of knowledge about science and alien cultures and technology and language and religion and understanding of people that Lena probably struggles with, especially in comparison. Kara was doing calculus at least since she was 4. Honestly out of the two of them she’s most likely better at science and math—but it’s probably painful for her bc it reminds her of Krypton, and it’s not like humans are going to be very accepting of a 15 year old trying to correct them on widely accepted theories. That would bring attention.

Kara was told to hide—Lena was told she wasn’t allowed to, that she had to be extraordinary because that’s what Luthors are.

We see in her very first episode she’s a marksman, able to shoot the man that had Alex hostage without even hesitation. We also see her Gerry rig that device at her charity under the table with a tiny bit of help from Winn, but not that much—that’s not exactly a lab setting.

The Luthors have so many back up plans and hidey holes that their family motto almost seems to be “be prepared.” Like Lena does not like Roulette and has 0 plans on ever going to her fight club but she knew exactly where the address was from the top of her head, without consulting a planner. And the fight clubs most likely rotate where they’re at—sure Roulette has connections but the DEO took Leslie Willis—if they don’t know about her she’s not going to bring her to their attention. And still Lena knew where it was, because it’s important to be prepared.

Or better yet—the Luthor motto might be all knowledge is worth having.

Lena probably picks up new skills in her “free time”—or really whatever time she has that she’s not working at her company, not able to simply lay around and do nothing. “You never know when you might need to know how to wrangle a crocodile kara” “You never know when an assassin might try to kill me while I’m on ice Kara” “You never know when you might need to know this very obscure and esoteric language Kara” “It’s a very distinctive sound and one day I might need to be able to distinguish between the sounds different guns make when cocked Kara” “Who knows if you’re ever in the mountains with only a paper clip and a hair tie Kara” “Kara it’s always useful to know how to be able to get out of a straight jacket without any help”

Kara is very confused about her strange nerdy friend but Lena feels such vINDICATION the first time something she’s been practicing requires her expertise you said it was weird to know how to competitively duck herd AND YET HERE WE ARE WITH A DEADLY ALIEN SPECIES THAT RESEMBLES IN SEVERAL WAYS DUCKS

tl;dr Lena would be absolutely fine wherever she’s dropped up to and including the woods or a farm with only the clothes on her back and a used tissue and after a week or so Kara would be clutching her phone wondering where the wifi is

#kara danvers #supergirl #lena luthor #supercorp #luvers

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fightmewiatch · 6 years

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Every so often, I have a day, one where something happens that keeps popping up things in my head that bug tf out of me.

Today is...one of those days. Lol. But today I’m gonna write out, hopefully throwing it out will help me clear my head. (And it’s going under a cut, because it is looooong).

So, today I got an email from my supervisor that my productivity is really too low. Which, I knew that, I knew it wouldn’t be spot on. It was only based on the last few weeks, so I did email back to let her know that the last few weeks I’ve been getting constant headaches bc of my eyes / old glasses, but I finally went to the eye doctor last week so I should be better once I get the new glasses.

Here’s the thing about this job. We log requests for medical records that are sent to specific hospitals/doctors offices/etc into our system (requests from patients, insurance, other health facilities, law firms, etc.). (We also send out the records, but I only do the first part of the job.) Working from home, I get assigned to a bunch of different facilities - sometimes that place is in Louisiana, sometimes Florida, sometimes it’s a country-wide place. When I change facilities, I have to “transfer” on my timecard, so they can see how long I’m spending in each website (and then the physical system keeps track of how many requests I’ve put in).

It’s pretty much become commonplace for me to run out of work LONG before the end of the day, and then I email my super (same one who sent me my productivity), & ask for work. If I’m lucky, she answers me within ten minutes with more work. More often than not, I’m waiting between 30 minutes and several hours, and by that point, I email her at least one more time, and then try to find work on my own.

No one has ever told me otherwise, so when I run out of work, I tend to stay in the facility I was last in (so instead of 2 hours in one place, I can be shown there for 2.5 or more, even without having work). When I emailed her back, I specifically asked her if there was a different place to “Transfer” to, so I don’t throw off my numbers, considering I often have to wait a while.

To no surprise, I answered her at least an hour before the end of the day, and she didn’t answer.

(I’m not looking for ways to fix this, I’m just basically throwing down what sparked the day.)

I’ve worked at 2 law firms in my life.

Law Firm #1.

Family firm (owned & run by a husband & wife - he was the name on the door, she was his secretary / office manager).

This place was wild.

I worked here twice. Once for two years, before I moved for school, and then after school (and a different job), I came back for another two and a half. And let me tell you.

The first time I worked there, as secretary:

I worked part time. There was a second secretary who had been there a LOT longer that everyone loved but she was one of those older women who was certain no one else knew what they were talking about sometimes.

My boss (owner, lead atty) wanted a listing of Potential Clients. Since we mostly did school law, business law, estate planning, and real estate, you think we would limit to that, yes? Nooooo. I had to make an excel spreadsheet of EVERY SINGLE PERSON in the phone book. Yes, you read that right. I had to spend my downtime putting THE PHONE BOOK (you remember those, right?) into an Excel Spreadsheet, so he could organize it by: first name, last name, city, address. Didn’t have an address? Find it by any possible means so long as it doesn’t cost money.

My boss decided he loved Spreadsheets. I then had to transfer our entire client file (which was, at the time, comprised of about...2100 clients) into Excel. Also, so he could organize it by: First Name, Last Name, Business Name, Address/City, Reason for them being a client (god help us if they were there for multiple things), OR, for the schools, who the Superintendents were.

Sounds decent. But we had three different client lists to update every single time we got new info or a new client. Two in Word (one by Last Name, and one by Client Number) (which had been printed out for a hard copy that we had to keep reprinting to update them), & the one in Excel (which I fucking refused to print out, bc we’re talking HUNDREDS of pages, and what a waste of $$ and paper).

Each time you created a new client, you had to write the information down on a sticky note and take it upstairs to K in billing, so she could make sure the information was put into her billing system. (and then she would give it to T who did payroll & incoming payments, so when people paid, they’d know what the $$ was for.)

Overall, my first 2 years there were okay. Nothing horrible, really, it was fine.

But then, the second time I worked there (approx. 3 years between leaving & coming back), in billing:

I was the billing assistant. K was still Head Billing. I adored her, we were friends despite the 30+ year age gap.

The Billing Office was shared: me & K, and T had been transferred in there but she still did Payroll & Incoming.

We were still at 4 attorneys, but 2 of the ones I used to work with were gone & 2 others were in place; and we fluctuated with other people in the building - 6 to 7 to 6 to 7.

The secretary was the same as before, but she left about a month after I came back (she retired). They hired another woman, J. She was very experienced, very helpful, very firm, I really liked her.

At first.

Her mom passed away (and I felt so bad, bc she hated her mom’s bf & there were a lot of issues and things), and afterwards, she wasn’t my friend anymore, she just seemed to be looking for a reason to leave.

T was terrible with math (which is AWFUL for someone doing, you know, PAYROLL and INCOMING PAYMENTS). I mean terrible. We added up our own timecards, and I was shitty at keeping the math right, so I found a website to help (which I then shared with the paralegals who fucking loved it). But a couple times, T messed up hours for one of the paralegals, and the girl mentioned it to me bc I collected the cards (T had leg problems, so she limited herself to coming up & down the steps as much as she could - I did running for her).

One time, when payroll got printed, and T was working from home, I checked her math, just because she wasn’t there, & I knew the boss would be leaving and if the paralegal didn’t catch it quickly, she would have to wait another day for the correct check (guys, you know how big of a pain that can be especially if you need that money). In the process, I pulled out J’s, trying to sort through them. I never just look at someone’s check stub, never ever, it is none of my business, and the only reason I was looking in the first place was hours, not pay. But J got a raise. No one in that building ever got a raise. Never. I’d worked there (at this point), a grand total of 3 years, and the only “raises” I got was a) bc they rehired me, and b) they wanted to make me a paralegal (which I didn’t want, but they let me keep the pay difference).

The OM called me into her office a few hours later, and just ripped into me for going through payroll & telling everyone about J’s raise which is NO ONE else’s business, and I was so flustered bc I didn’t know what she was talking about. Turns out, J told the OM that I was telling everyone she got a raise, so instead of calmly asking me, she asked if I looked at payroll, and I was honest, and she just lectured me like a stern, mad, disappointed parent (you know...the tone of voice & the facial expressions that can send you into an anxiety attack). The young attorney was my friend, he actually came to my defense when he found out what happened, told the OM that I didn’t tell anyone anything, that J was bragging about her pay raise to the paralegals (and since he spent time down there working, he heard her). (I never did get an apology from J for lying about me, or from the OM for yelling at me like I was a disgrace.)

It was one of my responsibilities to go to Staples & pick up supplies with a business check. (That’s right. We didn’t order anything in, I physically drove up, shopped, paid, and hauled it back myself. In 2.5 years, I was only offered help twice. The young attorney had a perfect view of my car from his office, never came out unless I went in and asked (and I only ever asked him to carry the GIANT BOXES OF PAPER). We had a list down front of everything we needed - printer ink, paper, pens, staples, tape, etc etc etc. Sporadically, my boss would ask me to bring her the list, I’d triple check it so nothing got missed, and bring it to her, then she’d nod nod nod, hand me a signed check, and let me get it.

One time, she told me to get everything we needed. No biggie, typically. But this rang out over $300, minimum (I’m almost blanking). I am telling you, she nearly had steam shooting out of her ears, and refused to let me go (like I’d messed up somehow) for well over a month.

The bosses & at least one of their daughters (they had 4 kids) were Pro-Trump. (This is...this is all I need to say about this.)

J wound up showing up 2 hours late for work, going up to the boss, telling her she quits, and then leaving. (They tried to get her to stay with, you guessed it, another raise and a duty change. She still left.) We hired B, a lovely timid women. She was very, very nice, and as far as I know she’s still there.

The two paralegals left and were replaced - one left, the 2nd trained the 1sts replacement, and then the replacement trained the 2nds replacement. (It was hilarious when the OM introduced us to the first replacement bc I knew her. I worked with her at the other law firm. We laughed, waved, smiled, good times.)

For a while, I had to sit in on meetings my boss had with clients (I had to take notes). This became rare for me, because once they had the 2 paralegals, they took turns, with B. We never really conversed with the clients beyond hi, but once I managed to have a nice conversation with a couple who had a place in Florida, and we talked bc it was at a place I had been to earlier the year before for my sister’s wedding, and we were having a nice conversation. Which, as you guessed, was interrupted by my boss who looked flummoxed that I, a low billing clerk, would have anything in common with his clients that he didn’t have in common with them. (He never said that, but you could see it well enough on his face.)

They had a quirk. They kept everything. Every bill that had been printed, it was printed, then copied - clients got the original, we kept two copies, one for when they paid (we would staple either a copy of the check or the check stub to the bill, so we knew what checks paid what bills), and then a copy for Billing, with any notes, adjustments, etc etc. (I’m talking bills back at least a decade, just thrown into the back apartment.)

I should mention here? The Office Building was an old apartment building. The entire downstairs and most of the upstairs had been converted into offices, but there was 1 last apartment in the very back that had a couple broken window panes, dust, bugs, etc etc. It’s where they stored old Bills & Paid Bills (anything older than 1 year).

We’re pretty sure it’s haunted (I say this, bc I did record the sound of a giggling little girl in that back apartment, which is upstairs, not connected to any other buildings, and there were no little girls in there at the time.)

I worked there 2013 to 2017, this time around. Around 2014, I talked to K, and the OM, and made the suggestion to get rid of those bills. But not just toss them, no. Let’s SCAN THEM IN! I was excited when they loved the idea. (My poor, poor stupid self.) I had to scan in every bill (we’re talking thousands and thousands) of bills, I scanned in every single bill that we sent out between, like...2006 and 2015, by the time I left (I left Jan of 2017, and idk if I finished scanning in 2016 before I did).

This meant: unstapling at least a dozen pages per bill, scanning in every page of the bill, plus every page fo the last draft bill (bc of course there are multiple drafts), logging every single bill into a Spreadsheet so we knew what we had, for whom, and where. I had to set up a bunch of fucking folders - one for every year, broken down into month, broken down to Schools or Miscellaneous (Everything else), broken down to Bills and Drafts, so we didn’t mix things up. This was fine if the bill was between 1 and 10 pages, but after 2009, we had bills that were twenty, thirty, forty pages long, I am not joking, and if one page messed up, I had to scan them all in AGAIN bc I was using the free Adobe.

It was tiring, so I printed out pricing, asked the OM if we could get the monthly subscription.(This was maybe mid 2014, I think). (And then promptly watched her hum, and put it somewhere never to be seen again.) K, her gracious soul, prompted the boss a couple times, but it was brushed off every time.

I finally paid it myself, fuck it, I’m not rescanning 80 pages bc 1 page got stuck in the scanner.

One months before I left, the paralegals asked me about it, bc they had me fix stuff, scan stuff, bc i Had the better program, so I told them were to look. They asked the OM, who then asked me why I was paying for it myself. (I could have screamed.)

My bosses were the kind of people who went to church, and thought that made them good people. The Big Man had a library of religious DVDs, books, CDs that he loaned out to people. Asked me to, yup, make and keep the Spreadsheet of everything - one for CDs/DVDs, one for Books - and then keep the log/keep track of who borrowed what, & when it was returned. (This included tagging each item with a number. Had 6 of the same thing? Then 6 of them were given the same number). I stopped keeping such good track when he started accepting returns & not telling me who brought them back, or started loaning them without telling me what and to whom, & started adding things in without telling me so I could label them (and then loaning them out without me having numbered/logged them).

My boss wanted me to work on the Website and their FB page. Thought we could send out an email to everyone (when I say everyone, I don’t just mean clients, I mean every person he could get an email for in the county), and when the IT guy said no, bc a mass email that size would most likely go to Spam, he said “Isn’t there a way to make sure it goes in their inbox?” and we all looked at each other as he said, “No, not unless we hack everyone’s emails, and that is very much against the law.”

I got paid mileage, because I often went to Staples, the bank, the boss’ house, two of the employees’ houses, two of the schools (who needed their bills NOW, not whenever the mail was sent out) and the Post office. One time I wrote the wrong mileage - I added going to the employees’ house, bc I did, but I did it on my way to/from lunch, so it didn’t count, but I was in a rush to write it, and I forgot until she was asking me why it was broken up. When I told her, she gave me the look, like I was trying to steal from her, and lectured me about it. (It was an accident, okay?)

T had diabetes, and after a lot of other medical issues and family issues, she had even more and they had to take her leg below the knee, and because the office wasn’t Handicapped accessible (there was some legal loophole that kept them from having to update the building), she got to work from home. The OM honest-to-god, when we were talking about how awful it was that they had to take the leg, said (summarizing) no one else has problems in comparison. ....I had to stare to try and figure out if she was serious (she was), because, yeah, it’s awful, but her problems did not negate anyone else’s, and man I feel sorry if that’s how you feel.

The program we used for billing went down one day. We called called texted called our IT guy, but he didn’t answer, didn’t answer, didn’t answer, and then finally said he’d be there at some point but he didn’t know when (he worked 3 other jobs, and was our IT guy, it was not a good setup, I’m sorry). My entire job revolved around this program, so I couldn’t do anything, so after waiting all morning, I emailed the OM before I went to lunch that I could just take the afternoon off (I figured it was better they not pay me at all, instead of paying me to twiddle my thumbs; K agreed (and she’d been there since they pretty much opened the doors at least 20 years before)), and then clocked out and went to lunch. when I dropped my mom off after, the OM called me, screaming at me because how dare I just leave, I needed to be in that office, just made me feel about an inch tall because I did that (and reminded me I had things I could do for the website, which I swear I had forgotten about bc I was so distracted by the damn program). I had to crawl back to work for the afternoon, and listen to another lecture, basically belittling me for the choice I made, that I don’t get to make that choice (I was seriously the only person who doesn’t get to make that choice, pretty much everyone else in that office was able to work from home, leave if something at the office wasn’t working, etc). (I still hear her in my head some days, if that tells you how bad that day fucked me up.)

We had bowed windows in Billing. We also had our own furnace/ac system. The insulation was long gone, so in the summer, if the AC was on (and down to about 60/65) it was fine, but the second it kicked off, you burned up. In the winter, if the heat was on (we had it cranked to 80), it was fine, but when it kicked off, it FROZE, i had to wear sweaters and gloves while I worked. K did, too. The first time I was there, they had space heaters up there. But the bosses hired the worst construction crew ever (hired them bc they were clients, btw), who had to rewire something else, which rigged Billing so that if we tried to use a space heater, it would blow the entire breaker on our side of the building.

Despite everything K or I said, about the fact that it leaked into billing when it rained, we were ignored. Until the day it poured in on me, and two ceiling tiles fell (lucky for them, I was already leaping out of my seat from the cold water, or I’d have had a field day). The guys fixed the side of the building, but never replaced the tiles (which we knew was because, if they replaced the two that had fallen, they’d have to replace all of them, which meant they’d have to admit to knowing about the mold in the ceiling).

I’m adding these as an after-bullet-point, because I did these both times I worked there.

This firm handled business, school, estate plans, and real estate law. This meant they wanted brochures, but not just A Brochure, with highlights for the company, no. Brochures for the general work we did, our school work, our business work, our estate plans, & our real estate work, each one with each (relevant) attorney on it (as attorneys left, they had to be removed, & as they joined, they were added - including their photograph, which they didn’t always provide and I had to dig for). Brochures were tri-fold, but at one point, we had 5 attorneys, and with the other (honest to god) bull drivel that was on these brochures, 5 did not fit in a tri-fold, meaning I had to figure out how to fit a 5th without it looking ridiculous. (And my boss was kind of...irritating, in the fact that I should show him how it would look A DOZEN TIMES, in a DOZEN WAYS, get his sign off, print 20 copies - as he told me to do - only for him to “suddenly” change his mind, meaning I wasted paper (at minimum $25 a box, and ink at minimum $25 a cartridge/$49 for black & color).

Sometimes (two to three times a year, I think) they did seminars, where they would compile a binder related to the Specific Thing (estate planning, real estate, school staff training, etc), because they were going to basically hold a class, pass these binders out, teach the attendees things. It was always my responsibility to assemble these binders (which typically wound up being 1 for the file, 1 for the OM, 1 for boss, 1 for whatever attorney was presenting, and approx. 5 to 25, depending on how many people were attending). Low end, we’re talking 9, high end, 29. Before I could even begin to assemble, the boss/OM/attorney had to get the stuff together for the binder - the forms, the spreadsheets, the index, literally think of a Handbook, and that’s what we were putting together. The boss had final say on everything. This is a man who has no concept of a timeline. So the day before the presentation, he was finishing the edits. OM would give me a check (she didn’t bat an eye for this shit, ever), send me to Staples to pick up all the supplies: binders, cover stock (bc yes, I also had to print covers, and use a blank piece of matching cover stock as a “back cover”), ink, regular paper, divider pages (meaning: colored construction paper), pens & notepads (bc ofc those were included, in case they had to take notes), and brochure paper (bc those were included, too). In less than 8 hours, I had to: use my computer to print anything in color or anything on the non-regular-paper (the copy machine was only normal paper, b&w); copy everything 9-29 times in the copy machine; hole punch everything (with a hole punch that would do max 10 pages at a time, and honey, they were rarely only 10 pages); assemble in order the binders; trim the card stock covers (bc somehow, they never fucking fit otherwise); and then try to stack 9-29 uneven binders on the 2nd floor conference room table. (And sometimes? Yes. Sometimes, the boss would take one when I was half-way through (without me knowing sometimes btw), and make some changes, meaning I’d have to take them apart and redo those pages, which meant going back to the computer, editing the original document, reprinting & copying, repunching, and reindexing). Please note: yes, I said in less than 8 hours, but that is being generous, bc do you think this man was ready for me to start when I walked in? No. He’d call the office around 11 or 12 to have me start (he often “started his day” from home, a mile away), so I’d go pick up the information, get it done, and get started bc I had to get a check, shop for supplies, print, copy, punch, arrange, index 9 to 29 binders with min 10 pages in each, plus covers, plus divider pages as necessary, between 12pm and 5pm. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.

(I know this is long, I’m sorry, last spot.)

My other job.

Law Firm #2

Owned by one man who was like 400 years old and half dust. (He was a piece of work. His son was also a lawyer, but he & his new wife hated his son, and he constantly tried to sue his son to keep him from using his name in his business. They...they had the same last name.)

His wife owned a dress shop that was PRICED HIGH but was not very good quality (and actually had a second shop in the City).

They lived in a mansion. With maids. And the wife thought it appropriate to call in before we got in for the day, leave a list of things needed from the store, so one of the employees at the office (she used a couple of us as her own servants) could go to the store, get it, and bring it to the house.

I was hired as a Work Comp Clerk. Meaning I send out the subpoenas to health care facilities/doctors/etc to get bills and records for court. But the second they saw I’d been a secretary (at Firm #1) before, they took that chance. Made me secretary first thing in the morning (before the actual lady showed up), and for an hour after lunch (while the actual lady was at lunch). This was the busiest hour of the day. It was an 11 line phone, and no one else was allowed to answer it. (Firm #1? 4 lines and a fax, with 3 people as backup.)

I did fine at first. Made friends with the girls I worked with, and the other attorneys.

The owner, and the office manager? Nope. They hated me. I hated them. They looked for anything to get mad at me for.

I do not speak Spanish. 2 people in the office do (the secretary, and the woman who was made to do running for the wife). There was one time neither of them were in after lunch (usually 1 of them was there), while I was working the front desk, so of course someone called in that spoke Spanish. I told them, uno momento, por favor, bc I do know that much at least, put them on hold, called the OM. She raced up, started rifling the desk to tell me there was a sticky that said how to say one minute please, and I said “I know how to say that, and I did, that’s why they’re on hold. What do I do now?” And she looked at me like I’d grown a second head, before huffing and telling me to call our maintenance man (who spoke Spanish), so he could translate for me. (I think the secretary came in before I could, so she did the call for me.

I started having trouble doing my job. I’d never get records or bills, I’d spend half the day on the phone going round & round trying to figure out what the problem was, I’d keep sending reminder requests, but some of them I just could not get. One of the attorneys I explained this too, and he took a second to realize what I meant, before saying it was fine, just try, and if I can’t, I can’t.

Two of the attys left, and were replaced with 1 attorney who had just gotten his license, and one who had not yet taken the bar (so she legally wasn’t an attorney). They were nice, the attorneys there were (mostly) nice.

About halfway through the time I worked there (8 months. I was there 8 months), someone started calling, leaving threatening messages at night on the voicemail. It got to the point that one night, the secretary asked me to cover the front desk a little bit before I went home bc she had to go in with the boss and the OM, and a cop, so they could play the messages and figure out what to do. She didn’t mention there was a cop coming, no one did, so when he showed up, I did what I’m trained to do (write down his name, what he wants, etc) and went back to the boss’ office to ask him. “Well who is it?” “Officer XX.” “...is his first name Officer?!” “...well, no.” “Go find out what his name is!” He actually even called me an idiot, in the loudest possible voice, and kicked me out of his office. I was shaking, I was so angry, and I went up front, and whipped the notepad to the desk (it’s funny now bc the young atty was coming out of his office, saw me throw the notepad, and turned back and went into his office lol). The cop asked me if he could go in and I said no, he wasn’t ready yet, and the cop sighed, said he had a job to do, and they called him, and I got short with him and basically told him they’d call up when they were ready, so SIT DOWN. (Thankfully, they called up for him, so I walked him back and then just sat at the front desk, seething.)

Honestly, that was the downfall. That was when I started looking for a job, but considering I’ve got anxiety and a fear of public speaking and all that non-fun stuff, it isn’t easy (and I never know how to answer interview questions, which genuinely makes them think I’m stupid, I’ve seen their faces).

Just over a month before my birthday, I walked into work (on Monday), and went to put my bag at my desk. I got confused, seeing someone in my chair, but I just figured it was so she could train with the lady in the next desk, and I didn’t care bc I was working the front desk for that first hour. But just before the hour was up, the OM came up to me, asked me to come see her when I was done up there. Okay. Told me to bring my purse. ...o...okay. Finished the hour, grabbed my purse, went back. SURPRISE. That new girl was my replacement, and I was being demoted, which came with a pay decrease, as well as an hour decrease (although I was still expected to have lunch at the same time, and cover the front for the same time frames, even though they were taking 2 hours off my schedule every single day and over a dollar off my pay), and I was the runner. Because I wasn’t doing my job to their standards (they never told me that, they never gave me a warning, they never gave me a head’s up. Just BAM you’re fucked). I worked until 3 (per my new schedule), walked into her office, said “I’m not coming back, I can’t do this job anymore.” She shrugged, and turned away from me. I quit. (I had called my mom around lunch and her first words were “Fuck them, you quit & come home right now.” I just told her I needed to finish the day.)

I filed unemployment.

We did the hearing: one of the attorneys I liked was representing them, with the OM as one witness, and my closest coworker as the other. I felt awful and betrayed because we’d kept in touch (this was a month after I left, ish), but here she was telling them all my negative traits - including that I would stare out the window for periods of time. I explained to them (as I did while I worked there) that it helped my eyes, and helped me think, when I couldn’t remember my Next Step. After a little while of them talking shit about me, talking about how terrible I was, and all that stuff to make them file against me so I don’t get anything. And after hearing me say I had no warning, the hearing officer interrupted me and said “So...OM, you never gave her warning.” “Nope.” “You didn’t give her a head’s up, didn’t give her a chance to correct her problems, just expected her to keep working for you after cutting her hours, and her pay, and changing her responsibilities. With no warning.” “Right.” “Are you crazy?” I won. I laughed maniacally.

When the following year’s W-2′s came out (i worked for them a few months the year they were for, so I needed theirs), mine didn’t show when it was supposed to, so I called. New girl, said she got hers, put me on hold, “called the OM”, who told her to tell me that yes, they were sent. I got it 3 days later (postmarked the day I called. Mailed mine out my fucking ass).

added: Oh yeah. Someone had called at one point, & there was A Thing I was supposed to do, but no one had ever told me about it, never mentioned it, etc etc, so I didn’t know it existed, meaning I didn’t know there was something I didn’t know (following me?). I asked the OM. She said “well, if you didn’t know, you should have asked.” “...I...didn’t know. Like, in any capacity. How do I ask about something I don’t know exists? It’s not that I didn’t know how to do it, I didn’t know it was a thing.” “You should have asked.”

Yeah.

I think that’s it.

#sorry guys #i know this is really long #i just had to get a LOT off my plate #and my chest

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