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#and I know this because in the dream i Just woke up from due to the regular passing out in the middle of the day .
ratcandy · 2 years
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can the guy who has now become recurring in my dreams just become my bestie irl already please I miss him
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azullumi · 2 months
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a scripture on having a certain pretty gambler as your boyfriend ; aventurine
summary — radiant and gleaming, dating him feels like basking under the golden glow of the sun, with the promise of the serene and starlit night ahead.
pairing — aventurine (w/ gender-neutral reader)
tags — established relationship, fluff, him as your boyfriend basically, there are no spoilers dwww, i never proofread, 1.2k words ; headcanons
note — congratulations to honkai star rail for being the only game to have aventurine!! this is day 2 of writing for this man until i have him.
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Aventurine couldn’t abandon the person that he used to be so he carried him in his hands. Always hesitant, afraid, and seemingly detached from everyone he meets—this is why he seems so distant and disconnected from you at first despite being in a relationship with him. Although he lives his whole life gambling, believing that everything happens and the outcomes gained are due to luck, he’s meticulously careful and cautious just to not get too attached to you lest he gets hurt in the end (he has dealt with the sight of people’s backs as they walk away from him multiple times).
It will take time for him to completely warm up and be vulnerable to you. Although there are moments that he lets the facade slip and he lays himself bare, moments where it’s just you and him in the silence, moments where you comfort him after a nightmare that disturbs his sleep; he doesn’t ask for comfort nor assurance often but you always seem to know when he needs it.
Aventurine loves it whenever you gently comb your hand through his hair. Even if he wasn’t vocal about the matter, you’ll know from the way he immediately relaxes under your touch as you rake your fingers through his locks. It just gives him a sense of comfort, finding serenity and affection in such a small act of intimacy; it reminds him of how simple everything could be (oh, how he wishes it was) with just the loving touch of your hands.
He’s not exactly a morning person but would always wake up early, occasionally before you do. It’s either because he has to leave for work early or it just so happens that he woke up just as the sun was rising. If he has to get ready soon, he’ll take a few minutes of his time to admire you as you sleep, to trace the bridge of your nose slowly and carefully so as to not wake you, to draw and follow the outlines of your features with his eyes. But if he has no plans for today, he’ll stay in bed with you and eventually, fall asleep once more. He holds you so close and so tight (but not tight enough to suffocate you) that it’s hard to slip away from his grasp.
You feel a pair of soft lips on your forehead, the kiss lingering for a moment until you flutter your eyes open. “Are you awake now, sleepy?” 
“Mmh…” You grumble, your vision adjusts to your surroundings as you blink multiple times. You could see Aventurine getting dressed, putting on his expensive tailored-coat.
“You’re leaving already? Why did you not wake me up?”
“You looked like you were having a nice dream.”
MATCHING PAJAMAS (heck yeah!!). The time when he saw you wearing one of his pajamas, it felt like something had been flipped inside of him and the thought of getting you one for your own that matches his fills each and every corner of his mind. Although all of the matching things you have with him are not just limited to pajamas—it can range from matching jewelry, matching charms, matching clothing, matching glasses, matching everything. God, he goes into a store, sees something that he likes and asks the staff if they have another one but in a different color that you like.
Perhaps you have never noticed (or maybe you have) but he never wears his glasses whenever he’s around you—when there’s only you and him. There was no need to hide anything from you, not when you adore all parts of his being. He melts whenever you compliment him (he’s a sucker for such words of affection) especially when it’s his eyes, loves the way you look at him as if he was everything you wish for.
He’ll often play games with you or initiate a bet but somehow, he has more losses than wins. “You’re cheating!” You’ll say, pointing at him as if you were an attorney from a game that objects to a statement. Aventurine, however, would stare at you in disbelief (though he’s just feigning innocence) and would answer with a raised eyebrow: “How am I the one cheating when you’re winning?” To which you’ll respond with: “That’s because you’re letting me win. You’re not playing fair, Aven.”
SPOILS YOU A LOT and when I say a lot, I mean A LOT. Everything you'll ask for or even just mention in passing, he'll provide. He randomly sends you pockets of money, a notification on your phone lighting up your screen and the text says: You have received 100, 000 credits. You have to get used to it—it’s one of the ways that he shows his affection to you. He wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer whenever he gives you something either, so, you have to take it or else you’ll have to deal with a sulky man the whole day. 
Don’t worry though as he ensures that everything that he buys and gets for you is something you would like—expensive meaningless gifts will always be meaningless, he would rather give you a cheap yet beautiful charm that is of your favorite color or flower than an expensive shiny necklace made out of gold and adorned with diamonds which you’ll never wear because it’s too heavy on your neck or it’s not your preference.
On that note, he also likes seeing you wear the things he bought for you. Maybe it’s obvious, maybe it’s not, but he likes to dress you up, likes to see you put on the clothes he picks for you. Dates where he brings you to a boutique to pick clothes together (for both you and him), dress up, and ask each other if they look good is not so rare between you two. It’s silly but the two of you would end up giggling like children when the other would strike a ridiculous pose to show off what they're wearing (and also, with the intention to make one another laugh); he lives for and craves these moments with you.
Brings you together with him to casinos and lets you watch him while he plays as he regards you as his lucky charm (when he’s actually the one who is lucky here). Whenever he wins a game or a bet, he asks for a kiss from you—he taps on his cheek as an indication of his request but he will not force you if you don’t wish to express such affections in public, rather he’ll ask for something else instead like maybe a smile or ask that you hold his hand. Sometimes, if you’re curious enough, he’ll teach you the fundamentals of the game and what you can do to win. The look of pride on his face says it all as he watches you win and your opponent falls to the floor (you just put someone in debt).
The amount of endearing names that he calls you. If ever you get flustered whenever he calls you with those affectionate endearments, he’ll take the chance to tease you, to repeatedly call you with such names until you throw a pillow or any object at him—he catches it though but will apologize while laughing, saying that he won’t do it again.
You have to be understanding and gentle with him, careful as you tread the light, lest you fall into the dark and see that the tall and strong walls he built around himself is nothing compared to the broken and fragile pieces that are sewn on his skin, and he will leave (out of fear, out of anxiety, out of grief, out of self-hatred). But it’s alright, everything will be, you’ll embrace him even in the abyss and you’ll guide him back to your warmth.
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© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works
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ja3yun · 2 months
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please be real | p.js
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ex!jay x fem!reader warnings: angst, heartache, smut (mdni), fingering, unprotected sex, cream pie, teasing, pet names (princess, baby), crying, mentions of alcohol, drunk jay, pure heartbreak in the beginning, not proofread, anything else lmk synopsis: after a six-year relationship, you and jongseong part ways due to different needs for the future. when jongseong's first birthday post-breakup arrives, his struggle with your absence reaches a breaking point, prompting a late-night call from his friend that consequently reignites emotions and unresolved feelings. wc: 9.4k a/n: hi! it's me and it's jay's birthday so i wrote him a little something something. i didn't initially intend to rip my heart out as i wrote this yet here i am. this was oddly a healing one to write but i must warn you it does mention the reader not wanting to have children so if that doesn't appeal to you then this probs isn't the fic for you! as always, like, comments, feedback, etc. is all appreciated! ilysm and happy bday jay <3
A sharp, jarring noise pierces your ears, the peaceful sleep you were in rudely disrupted. You groan out loud, covering your face with your covers but it does nothing to stop the ringing from your phone, it doesn’t even dull it a little, the little black device only echoing around the room louder.
Disoriented and groggy, you fumble for your phone on the bedside table, clumsily searching for it in the darkness. It isn’t your alarm, the usual peaceful tones of the birds chirping would be a welcomed sound, one that eases you into the day; no this was a phone call.
Finally grasping your phone, your eyes fight themselves open as you blink away any remnants of sleep, trying to find any sort of centre from your dizzy awakening. You look at the name on your phone but your vision is so blurred you can’t make it out but answer it anyway, knowing that whoever is phoning at this ungodly hour is clearly in need of your help.
“Hello?” you ask quietly, as if you don’t want to disturb the quiet of the night, unlike the person on the other end of the call.
“Uh, Y/N? It’s Jake.” His soft Australian accent drifts from your phone speaker into your ears. He sounds unsure whether he is supposed to be making the call, which to be fair, you understand because you haven’t heard from him in months, not after…
Letting out a sigh, you rub your forehead with the base of your palm tiredly, “Jake, why the fuck are you calling me at…” you pull the phone away, inspecting the time now that you’re more alert, “3.36am?” you ask with a hint of disdain. Normally, you would welcome the boy’s surprise call, after all, you did miss him. But considering he woke you up from a good dream involving you, Jeongin from Stray Kids, and a happily ever after; he wasn’t exactly your favourite person right now.
You can faintly hear some music in the background as he stays silent and you swear to yourself if this is to give him a ride home from a concert turned party, you’ll have his head.
“Listen, I hate to ask you this but can you come to Haven?”
“The nightclub? Why?” Your earlier suspicions are proving to be right, he does want a lift home. That would be an acceptable request if you guys were actively talking every day and the best of buddies but he isn’t even your friend, not really. 
You can hear him shuffling around on the other end of the line, his voice can be heard trying to calm someone down but his words are obscured as if the phone is wrested away from his mouth, leaving only disjointed fragments of speech drifting through the receiver. 
This sounds like more than just a simple ride home and it causes you to snap to attention, your senses heightened with concern. 
Jake finally brings his attention back to you, letting out a sigh of discontentment, “It’s Jay, he’s a mess and he’s calling out for you.”
Jay. Park Jongseong.
It’s been so long since anyone has dared to mention his name to you that it almost sounds like a foreign word.
Seven months ago, you and Jongseong had decided to call off your 6-year relationship, both of you reaching the understanding that it was for the best considering your battling differences and needs within the relationship.
It wasn’t easy, the furthest thing from it actually. You and him had been inseparable since high school and once you both got together in year 12, it was always you and him against the world. He was the love of your life, that once in a lifetime kind of love that only happens in fairytales. Your souls were both painted from the same brush stroke.
But he wanted a peaceful, routine life - a classic white picket fence dream. Evenings would be spent with friends, savouring white wine and casual conversations over dinner. His heart was set on imagining the echoes of your future children's laughter filling your home, family trips to the seaside, and comforting them with kisses and band-aids when they got hurt.
And you craved spontaneity, to embrace life with vigour, travelling the world together was your dream, free from the responsibilities of parenting, cherishing moments just for yourselves. You longed for random midnight trips to Tesco for birthday cake simply because you could. All you wished for was to be with him, just the two of you.
Suddenly, your brain clicks into an important detail and you hurriedly check the calendar on your phone and the date makes you slump in your bed.
Today is Jongseong’s birthday, well technically not anymore given the time, but that means he has lived his first birthday without you by his side in so long. You would always celebrate his big day by doing something from his handwritten bucket list he has had since he was a child. Over the years he has added more to the list, each birthday scoring one out to add another.
The list wasn't extravagant; it was filled with simple yet heartfelt desires. You bought him a bundle of guitar lessons and a Taylor 114e electric guitar to fulfil his wish of learning to play. When you noticed the Download Festival marked with gold stars on his list, you surprised him with tickets for the year Metallica was headlining. And when he expressed a desire to cook a meal from scratch for his mum, you gifted him a kitchen knife engraved with his name and took the time to teach him how to prepare her favourite dish.
His birthdays were the most precious when you were in them, and you weren’t there with him.
“Y/N?” Jake’s sweet voice draws you back to his attention and out of the memory lane swirl your brain has put you in. He knows this is a tough call for you to take considering you and Jongseong said to cut ties completely; it’s better to act like you both didn’t exist than keep a thread tethered to one another that would only hurt you more.
As Jake and Sunghoon whisked Jay away for his birthday celebration, their intention was simple: to help him let loose and have a good time. Jay had been buried in overtime work lately, leaving little room for socialising. Since the breakup, the idea of going out without you - dancing together, stealing kisses in the taxi ride home - seemed unappealing.
Waking up that morning, Jay realised it marked the first birthday in six years without ticking something off his bucket list. The familiar, worn paper lay dormant on his desk, a stark reminder of your absence. He had no desire to celebrate today without you by his side. If he could fast-forward through the day to escape the weight of his birthday, he would eagerly do so.
Yet, with two very persuading friends and a whole lot of whiskey later, here he was, curled up outside Haven, yearning out for you.
“Y/N please, at least come and convince him to get up and come home with us,” Jake pleads. You can hear the cries of your ex-lover more clearly now as Jake kneels beside his friend, checking in on him.
With a resigned sigh, you nod, “Okay. Keep him warm, I’ll be there in 20 minutes.”
Hanging up the phone, you quickly put a brush through your hair and change into a baggy top, one you bought for Jongseong before breaking up, and a pair of grey sweatpants. This is a bad idea, you know it is, but you also can’t leave him to wallow in the middle of the street. You don’t think you could live with yourself if you didn’t help and Jake wouldn’t call unless it was something he couldn’t handle. 
You don’t want to see the state Jongseong is in, his wailing cries that you could slightly hear over the phone already made your heart clench in hurt.
As you drive to Haven, your heart races in anticipation with each mile that passes. Is your heart ready to face him after all these months? Staring into the love of your life’s eyes once again might break you even more. You’ve done a good job in keeping yourself together, at putting on a facade that everything is okay, when deep down you know that if one person asked you about Jongseong you would crumble and fall apart. 
He wasn’t the only one throwing himself into work to forget. You’ve worked hours and hours trying to keep your mind off the heartbreak, you thought that if you just focused and kept your head down, the phrase time heals all wounds would kick in and you’d be free of the torment of losing your first love. But it hasn’t worked out that way, you know that now as you speed down the empty roads to console the one person you are trying to forget.
As you reach Haven, you can vaguely see three boys under the illuminating sign, almost as if shining a spotlight on them to add to the spectacle that Jongseong is making. Onlookers are watching as your ex-boyfriend cries on the pavement, wishing you would come home.
With a quick exhale, you step out of the car before doubts can creep in, determined to be there for him. Jake and Sunghoon's voices float to you, attempting to soothe him and inject some sense into the moment. Bracing yourself, you approach, ready to offer whatever comfort you can, despite the storm of emotions swirling within you.
Sinking onto the balls of your feet, you lower yourself to Jongseong's level, meeting his strained figure. Instantly, the sight of his distress instantly shatters your heart into a million pieces.
An abundance of tears cascades down Jongseong's reddened face, obscuring his features like a relentless waterfall. His clenched jaw and the prominent vein on his forehead portray the intensity of his distress as he struggles to draw each laboured breath. Curled into himself, his body seems to contort with the weight of physical agony, mirroring the emotional pain that ripples through his trembling form. He’s been keeping this in for so long that his body doesn’t know how to cope with it.
Reaching out to grab his clenched fist, you shuffle forward, “Jjongie? It’s me, baby, look at me,” you say calmly, trying to reassure him with your soft voice.
As your fingers gently encircle his clenched fist, Jongseong's body tenses at the touch. Slowly, he turns his gaze towards you, his eyes bloodshot and filled with an overwhelming mixture of sorrow and longing. For a moment, there's a flicker of recognition in his eyes before they cloud over again with anguish.
He doesn’t believe you’re actually here, considering the long nights where he has conjured up the idea of you, clinging to his imagination on the lonely nights he wishes for your touch. But as you squeeze his hand, he realises this isn’t a dream-induced sighting, you’re really here in front of him.
"Y/N..." he murmurs, his voice choked with emotion. Tears stream down his face in torrents, some landing on your hand that holds his. His cries reverberate through the air, each wail a sharp stab to your chest.
Cupping his cheek, you settle yourself between his legs, ignoring the discomfort of the rocks beneath your knees, your focus solely on him. With a sad smile, you attempt to mask your own anguish, your touch a gentle reassurance amidst his storm of emotions.
"Hey, hey, enough of that now," you hush him softly, your voice a soothing melody in the tumultuous night. Using your thumb, you tenderly wipe away his tears, though they continue to flow unabated.
He leans into your touch, “I miss you so much, Y/N, please. Please,” he pleads as you feel his warm breath against your skin as he nuzzles into your palm, seeking solace in the familiar sensation he's been yearning for.
It’s hurting you just seeing him like this, the man you once knew to be strong-willed and resilient, keeping his emotions under control unless he’s sharing sweet vulnerable moments with you under the covers, is now a shell of himself, stripped bare by the weight of grief.
Turning your face to look at Jake, you offer him a small smile, “I’ll take him home.”
“You sure?” Jake asks, knowing that it’s a dangerous game for you both if you do.
“Yeah, I don’t think he’s going to move unless I do,” you chuckle sympathetically but there’s a bubble in your throat as Jongseong’s whimpers flow into your ear from beside you.
Nodding, Jake gestures to Sunghoon, silently enlisting his help in the task of ferrying the drunk man to your car. The weight of Jongseong's limp form proves cumbersome as you all struggle to navigate his dead weight, his limbs hanging heavily without offering any assistance.
"Let's get you home," you murmur softly, your hands pressing gently against Jongseong's chest to steady him, aided by his friends who lift him onto their shoulders.
His eyes lock onto yours, an intensity burning within them. "Please be real," he whispers, his voice trembling with desperation. Despite feeling your touch and catching hints of your scent, doubt gnaws at him. If this is merely a figment of his imagination, he knows he'll never forgive himself. You're so close, so tangible - it has to be you.
With much struggle, the three of you get him to your car, putting him gently in the backseat so he can lie down, but he wraps his arms around your waist as his legs stay situated outside of the vehicle, holding you close to him.
"Come on, Jjongie, lie down for a minute," you coax gently, guiding him to stretch out along the seats. But he remains unmoving, clutching onto you as if fearing you'll slip away if he lets go. With a soft sigh, you stroke the back of his head, your hands moving in a soothing rhythm. "I promise, I am not going anywhere," you whisper, your words a tender vow to him.
Yet, your attempts to reassure him seem to go unheard. His face burrows deeper into your stomach, his words muffled by the fabric of your t-shirt and the weight of his tears.
You exchange a worried glance with Jake and Sunghoon, “How much did he have to drink?” you ask, scared of the answer they will give. Your ex-boyfriend has always been so good at holding his liquor that it must have been a hefty amount he consumed.
“Like two weeks' wage worth,” Sunghoon winces, his neck tightening as he looks at his best friend.
"Oh, baby..." you sigh softly, feeling a wave of empathy wash over you. Returning your attention to Jongseong, you press a tender kiss to the crown of his head, hoping to offer some comfort amidst his distress. His response is to cling to you even tighter, his sobs echoing against your chest as he seeks solace in your embrace.
You need to get him home, he’s a mess and the longer he stays like this, the more his body is going to wear out. 
With a gentle hand, you stroke his hair, your touch a soothing caress against his trembling form. Despite the chaos swirling around you, you find a semblance of peace in this intimate moment, anchored by the bond that still lingers between you.
"I've got you, Jjongie," you whisper softly, drawing back as he eases up his grip on you. His friends go to help you but you halt them with a firm gesture, "You guys can go, I've got it from here."
Sunghoon shakes his head, concern etched on his face. "He's too heavy, Y/N. You won't be able to manage him into the flat without us," he protests.
But you stand your ground. This is your and Jongseong's mess, and you can’t let others help you clean it up, "It's okay. You guys have done your shift for tonight. Go home," you insist, your voice resolute.
Reluctantly, Sunghoon and Jake nod and bid you goodnight before going their separate ways home, leaving you alone with Jongseong and the weight of your shared history.
Taking a deep breath, you hoist him in, his body listening to you a little more now that you’ve reassured him you aren’t leaving him. He sprawls over the backseats and lays still, the alcohol consuming him into some form of comatose now that he has relaxed slightly.
You slide into the driver's seat, the engine humming to life beneath you. Glancing at Jongseong's slumbering form in the rearview mirror, you steel yourself for the journey ahead.
_____
Arriving at his house makes you more nervous than before. This wasn’t just his flat, it used to be your shared home, the place you lived for 2 and half years and made countless memories in.
You were the one to move out and find your own place, thinking it was best since your work was further away and you could find an apartment closer to it. But the truth is, you just couldn’t face being reminded of him in each room and in the pieces of furnishings.
It was selfish of you to leave him with the remnants of your relationship surrounding him, all you thought about was you and your needs, neglecting to think about how he might feel being surrounded by nothing but memories.
Lugging him into the flat, his legs are working in tandem with you now unlike before but he still isn’t proving to be the easiest person to carry. The last time you had to hold his weight like this was when he got drunk at your prom after taking sneaky shots in the hotel garden with his friends. It was funny but you blame him for some of your back pain that you’ve endured in your early twenties.
As you push open the door and step into the living room, a wave of nostalgia washes over you like a tsunami. Though only seven months have passed, it feels like a lifetime since you last stood in this space with him by your side. Everything remains unchanged, frozen in time since the day you left. The same couch sits in its familiar spot, adorned with throw pillows and blankets you bought for last season. Photographs of you both, captured during Christmases and holidays, adorn the walls, each one a snapshot of happier times. Even the vase that his mum had gotten you both for your housewarming gift, one that you loved and he hated, remains in its pride of place on the mantlepiece.
You push your thoughts down and make your way to your once-shared bedroom, walking through the memories and heaving your ex-boyfriend along slowly. His nose nudges into your hair, sweeping in your scent as he loses himself in the feeling of you.
As you reach the familiar threshold, you can't help but feel a pang of bittersweet longing. This room, once a sanctuary where you both shared your laughter and bodies, now serves as a poignant reminder of the love you've lost.
Gently, you ease Jongseong onto the bed, sitting him up, “I’m going to get you some clean boxers okay?” you ask him but he’s not here, not really, so you make your way to the drawers on the other side of the room.
Walking over, you spot a familiar t-shirt lying crumpled on your old side of the bed. You make a b-line to investigate it and as you pick up the crumpled t-shirt, a flood of memories washes over you, transporting you back to simpler times. Your fingers trace the familiar fabric, still faintly carrying the scent of you, now mingled with his cologne. You piece it all together pretty quickly, the way it still smells faintly of you but is not starting to be overpowered by his cologne. He hugs it at night to find peace of mind.
“Oh, Jjongie,” you sigh, heart reaching out to him. You’re no better, you have one of his hoodies that you snuck into your luggage as you packed and wear it when you’re at home. Just like your t-shirt, his hoodie is starting to lose its scent from the amount of times you’ve hugged yourself to sleep in it.
Jongseong has always been reserved, his emotions carefully guarded behind a facade of reason and rationale. To see him like this, vulnerable and raw, strikes a chord deep within you. If he had always worn his heart on his sleeve, perhaps it would be easier to understand. But the complexity of his emotions only serves to deepen the ache in your chest.
You place the t-shirt back on the pillow before opening the dresser drawer and retrieve a clean pair of boxers, his favourite ones with the faded Hellow Kitty print that you've always teased him about.
Gently, you begin to undress him while he rambles incoherent nonsense that you can’t understand between the mix of tears and drunk slurring. The top half is easy but the bottom half proves difficult as he only looks up at you, whispering pleas as he stares at you, keeping his bum firmly sat on the edge of the bed.
As you finally manage to remove Jongseong's jeans and boxers, leaving him naked, a new layer of vulnerability settles over the room. He sits before you bathed in the soft glow of the hallway light, his silhouette outlined in the darkness.
His beauty, illuminated by the faint light, is both captivating and heartbreaking. The familiarity of his form, once etched in your memory, now lays before you in the flesh, a tangible reminder of the love you still harbour for him. How could you not still love him? He was perfect in every way possible.
"Stay with me," he whispers, his voice a gentle plea as his hands begin to roam your sides, tracing the contours of your body beneath your shirt. Each touch ignites a flurry of sensations within you, sending butterflies fluttering in your stomach.
He pulls you onto his lap, your sweatpants becoming the barrier between his cock and your pussy. Yet, none of you are really thinking about that right now, all you both want is to hold one another again.
“Jongseong, we broke up, and for good reason,” you rationalise with not only him but yourself as you find yourself sinking into his touch as his hands roam your back.
Nuzzling his nose against yours, he begins to cry softly again, his face rubbing itself against yours as his tears transfer from his cheeks to yours, “Please, baby, don’t leave me,” he mumbles as his lips ghost over yours. 
He doesn’t just mean tonight, he means forever. A tear from your eye cascades down your face, getting lost in the mixture of his, your empathy for him overwhelming you because you feel the same way he does. You need him in every way, you need to be close to him, to feel his heart beating in synch with yours once again.
But you know better than this. You’re both just prolonging heartache if you succumb to being with him again. You can’t give each other what you need.
“Baby, don’t do this,” you beg him, knowing that he has the power to pull you back into his life with the click of his fingers, that resolve you have worked so hard to build up now hangs in the balance, “Let me get you changed and then into bed, yeah?”
Reasoning with him is a lost cause, his arms now hugging you tightly like before as he ignores your suggestion. The last thing he wants is to put on those boxers because he knows when he does that you’ll leave. 
"Please, Princess," his voice is raw with emotion, his desperation palpable in the air between you. And as you look into his eyes, you see the depth of his longing mirrored in your own. 
His plea hangs in the air, a heavy weight pressing down on your already burdened heart. You feel torn between the overwhelming desire to give in to his request and the harsh reality of the situation.
With a deep breath, you summon the strength to gently extricate yourself from his embrace, feeling the weight of his disappointment lingering in the air. His hurt expression tugs at your heartstrings, but you shake your head firmly, "Just tonight, okay?" you assure him, your voice soft but resolute.
Curse you and your heart that caves into his pleas so easily.
You disregard getting him dressed and instead, remove your sweatpants and replace them with those very boxers you planned to adorn him with and swap out your t-shirt for the one on your old pillow. Jongseong clumsily climbs into his covers, getting comfortable and finding some happiness in the fact that you’ll be in his arms at least for a little while. 
Once you climb into your side of the bed, he instinctively hugs you from behind, the comfort of your body pressed against his. He spoons you, tucking his face in your neck as he exhales in contentment. This is all he has been craving since that night you left and he couldn’t be happier. All the turmoil and anguish from earlier slowly depletes as he finds himself sinking into a much-needed sleep.
You can’t deny you feel the same, his arms wrapped around you feel like home, like you’ve been on a seven-month business trip and you’re now finally back where you belong. You sink into him further, relishing his skin against yours.
“Happy birthday, Jjongie,” you whisper, bringing his hand up to kiss it before intertwining your fingers with his.
_____
Waking up, Jongseong feels like his whole body has crashed into a brick wall. His bones ache and his head feels tight, but there is a weight that feels so familiar yet foreign, his legs tangled around something and his arms holding it close. This feels different from the t-shirt of yours he clings to every night, this has more substance.
Please don’t be some random girl he thinks to himself, scared to open his eyes. 
Even if he did want to open them he couldn’t because they are being held together so tight by something. Was he crying last night? Actually, what even happened last night?
He replays the fragments of the evening in his mind, a few scattered images begin to surface - Jake and Sunghoon dragging him to Haven, the raucous atmosphere of the bar, and the ill-advised decision to ride the mechanical bull. And then nothing.
As he tries to recounter the night, you see him attempt to pry his eyes open and decide to help him out. Swiping your thumb over his eyes, you wipe away the mix of his dried-in tears and sleep. He looks so confused when you touch him and his body tenses.
Either he is having a severe case of hallucinations to the point where he is starting to physically feel you or the girl that he took home last night resembles your touch. God, how he hoped it was the first one. 
Opening his eyes with your help, he blinks away the blur and sets his eyes on your face, his expression reading one of relief that quickly turns into astonishment.
“Y/N? Baby?” he whispers, his hands instinctively reaching for your cheek, “Please be real.” The same words he pleaded out last night leave his lips again. Jongseong has spent so many nights dreaming of you, wishing in an alternative universe that he can hold you again, so much so that this doesn’t feel real.
You don’t know what to say but obviously, you have to say something. It was one thing to confront drunk Jongseong who didn’t have a wit about him but now it feels like there’s a boulder on your chest as you try to conjure up the courage to speak to a sober, semi-alert Jongseong. 
All you can do is nod, no words escaping your dried lips. You look down to see you and his limbs mangled together just like they used to be, the feeling of his body pressed so tightly against yours almost feels like heaven.
He takes in the sight of you, the lines of disbelief on his features soften, replaced by a glimmer of hope. Slowly, almost tentatively, he reaches out to you, his fingers brushing against your cheek as if to confirm your presence.
The touch sends a jolt of electricity coursing through you, he’s caressing your cheek so tenderly it reminds you of the time you had the shift from hell and Jongseong held you the whole night, whispering sweet words into your ear and stroking your tears away, just like this.
Except there are no tears this time, you’re all cried out - months of mourning the loss of your relationship will do that to you.
As Jongseong's eyes meet yours, a flicker of recognition passes through them, followed by a wave of embarrassment. His voice is soft as he speaks, a hint of uncertainty lacing his words, "What are you doing here?" he asks, his tone laden with confusion.
"You got pretty drunk last night," understatement "And Jake asked me to come pick you up."
You can feel the tension in the air as Jongseong processes your words, his expression a mixture of shame and regret, "Sorry, I don't usually drink that much," he murmurs, his voice tinged with remorse.
The explanation stings, not because Jongseong has been drinking more, but because of the distance it creates between you. It's as if he's explaining himself to a stranger, rather than to the person who once knew him better than anyone else. The past six years you’ve known how he knows his limit and that he doesn’t tend to breach it, not subconsciously. 
All you do is nod, accepting his explanation as you slowly start to detangle yourself from him, “I better get going.”
“Y/N, please let's talk,” he pleads as his voice wavers, his grip tightening around your waist, and his desperation palpable as he pleads for your attention. But you've made up your mind, and no amount of persuasion can sway you from the path you've chosen.
"Jongseong, please, let's not do this," you implore, your voice tinged with a mixture of sorrow and resolve, "We're only going to hurt ourselves again."
You both know the reasons behind your breakup are deeply rooted, immutable truths that cannot be changed. It's not a matter of cheating or petty disagreements—this is about fundamental differences in desires and aspirations for the future.
But Jongseong refuses to accept defeat, his forehead coming to rest against yours as he breathes his love out, "Princess, we can work it out, I know we can," he insists, his words heavy with sincerity.
You steel yourself against the onslaught of his love, knowing that to give in would only prolong the inevitable pain, "We want different things, Jjongie," you remind him gently, your voice tinged with regret.
“I can do without them. It’s you I can’t live without…I can’t breathe without you here by my side.” His words are sincere and you know it, but you can’t accept it. When you both discussed your future, he looked so excited at the prospect of kids that your heart broke instantly. You knew right away that you couldn’t give him what he wanted most.
Closing your eyes and sucking in the bottom of your cheeks, you steady yourself to have this conversation yet again, “You can’t give up the idea of having kids. Having the life you want is much more important than me. You can find someone who can give you that.”
It hurts to say but you need to rip the bandaid off quickly. 
“You think I want that life with anyone but you?” His voice raises lightly, hinting at the anger rising into his chest. He needs you to listen to him, to understand him, “Y/N, if it’s not with you then I don’t want that life.”
Shaking your head determinedly, you sit up, “But I can’t give you that life, it’s not what I want.” You feel like you’re reliving the argument that ended it all those months ago.
“That’s okay.”
“No, It’s not,” It’s your turn to get angry, your eyebrows lacing together as you try to read him. How can he say all of this so easily? Like he wasn’t trying to promise you that he would change his entire life plan just to be with you. Is it romantic? Sure, but it’s also fucking stupid. No one should change just to keep someone they love because if they were meant to be, then their values would align…right?
"It's not that simple, Jongseong," you argue through the silence, your voice tinged with frustration, "You can't just sweep aside your dreams for the sake of our relationship. What about what you want? What about your own happiness?"
Jongseong sits up, the covers hiding his naked lower half; he hadn’t realised he was naked and it only adds a new layer to his vulnerability. He is laying himself bare to you.
But Jongseong's gaze remains unwavering, his determination evident in the set of his jaw, "Since we broke up, I've realised that you are the life I want," he declares, his words carrying the weight of his conviction, "Whatever that looks like for you, I want it."
You feel his words like a pickaxe, slowly breaking away at the wall you’ve spent months building around your heart and reason. A whirlwind of conflicting emotions sweeps over you. On one hand, his declaration of love sparks a glimmer of hope amidst the ruins of your fractured relationship. Yet, on the other hand, doubt claws at your insides, gnawing away at any semblance of certainty, the pure love that you have for him only wishes to make sure he’s happy and gets everything he wants in life.
"Jongseong, I..." you start, your voice wavering as you grapple with the turmoil inside. How do you express the depth of your feelings?
Grabbing your face with his large hands, he kisses you, his soft lips now coating yours. You’ve missed him so much that you become overwhelmed by his actions, a soft tear leaking from your ducts.
So much for being all cried out, you think to yourself.
"It's you, Y/N, I only need you," Jongseong whispers against your lips, his urgency evident as he seeks solace in the warmth of your embrace, stealing kisses with a hunger born from longing.
In spite of yourself, you find your lips responding to his touch, drawn in by the familiar sensation of his mouth against yours. Your arms instinctively wrap around him, fingers grazing lightly over the muscles of his back as you hold him close; your brain is telling you to push him away but your heart is pulling him tighter to you. 
"It's not fair to you, Jjongie," you murmur, the words weighted with a sense of guilt and remorse.
"I'd rather be with you happily than with kids and someone else miserably," Jongseong confesses, his words carrying the weight of his heart's deepest desires.
Jongseong wishes you could see it from his point of view; of course, he has wanted kids and a comfortable life for so long but the idea of achieving that when you are not his wife seems fucking ridiculous. There is no one in this world he wants to be with other than you and if that means he has to be an uncle rather than a dad, so be it.
You are all he has ever wanted. To grow old with you, to experience each of your accomplishments together and have you close to him. He wants to protect you and look after you the way he knows he should and that is his new life goal. This isn’t a decision he has made lightly but a decision he wanted to make.
His hands glide down your sides, trailing over your thighs as his kisses continue, each touch a manifestation of the craving that has consumed him. His need for you is overwhelming, every fibre of his being yearning for you in every possible way. Another moment without you feels unbearable, as if he might die.
You surrender to his touch, sinking back onto the bed as he hovers above you, his grip on your thighs firm yet tender. The intensity of his desire leaves marks, but in this moment, you welcome anything he offers.
It's astonishing how the feel of his lips on yours dismantles your resolve, scattering your apprehensions like leaves in the wind.
Slowly, he removes from you the t-shirt that has absorbed his tears on countless nights and the boxers you borrowed from him, leaving you exposed beneath him. As he looks upon your naked figure, his eyes drink in every curve and contour, offering silent gratitude to the heavens for letting him have you like this. You are everything he wants and more.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, Y/N,” he whispers into your mouth as he presses his body hard against yours, his member rubbing itself against your folds. 
The feeling of him rubbing against you is enough to elicit a moan. No amount of toys was enough to satisfy you, not the way Jongseong could. Over the years you learned about one another’s bodies so intimately that no one could ever know you the way he does, not even yourself. 
You couldn’t bear the thought of sleeping with someone else, even if you and Jongseong had broken up, your heart couldn’t do it. You never even considered a one night stand because deep down you knew that your body belonged to Jongseong and no one else.
He moves his hips, slowly rubbing himself against you, the bell of his cock grazing your clit teasingly. It feels like a dream for him to touch you this way again, and the fact that you were coating his cock with your wetness was enough to tell him that you need this too.
Kissing you desperately, his tongue darts into your mouth and swirls with yours as he seeks to taste you, his buds dancing along with yours. He moans into your mouth and acts as an echo of his love for you.
“I missed you so much,” he whispers as his hips continue to move slowly, teasing your hole with his tip each time he draws back. It’s becoming increasingly obvious how much it’s starting to irritate you, your need to have him inside you is evident in your whines of frustration.
"I missed you too, baby. More than anything," you confess, your hand finding his cock as you press against him, seeking to create greater friction between you. With each movement, the pressure builds, sending waves of pleasure coursing through both of you.
With each synchronised movement, the tension between you mounts, the desire for one another lingering in the warm air. His hips continue their slow, teasing rhythm, each brush against your core sending sparks of want up your heat and into your chest.
Feeling the urgency building within you, you guide his cock with precision, pressing it against your eager entrance. A soft gasp escapes your lips as you feel the head of his length dip into you only slightly, the anticipation of being filled with him heightening your senses.
"Please," you whisper, your voice laden with need and longing, a plea for him to take you.
With a teasing grin, Jongseong relents to your plea, but not in the way you expected. Instead of thrusting into you the way you want him to, he trails his fingertips along the curves of your body, igniting a trail of fire in his wake. His touch is light and tantalising, tracing patterns across your skin as he savours every moment. He wants to take his time with you, no matter how much his dick longs to be surrounded by your walls.
You like to be teased even for a little bit, the payoff at the end always hits the right spot.
You squirm beneath his touch, aching for more, but he continues with deliberate slowness. His fingers dance over your heated flesh, exploring every inch of your body with an intimacy that leaves you breathless. Each caress sends shivers down your spine, building the anticipation to unbearable heights. God, you missed his hands all over you.
As his right hand dips lower, he begins tracing circles around your sensitive clit and you can't help but arch your back in pleasure, a soft moan escaping your lips. The sensation is electrifying, sending waves coursing through your body as he expertly teases you.
Feeling your body tremble with anticipation, his touch becomes more urgent as he presses his fingers against your throbbing clit h and with practised skill, he begins to move faster, applying just the right amount of pressure to have you writhing beneath him.
“You look so fucking perfect, all desperate and whiney like this, Princess,” he says as he leans down to kiss you, breathing in deeply through his nose as he tries to fill each of his senses with you. It wasn’t just enough to feel you, he wanted to taste you, to inhale your scent, to hear you cry out for him, to see you unravel beneath him.
Your breath catches in your throat as the intensity of his touch sends you spiralling towards the edge of bliss. Each stroke of his fingers drives you closer to the brink, your body humming with the need to let go.
But just as you feel yourself teetering on the edge, Jongseong suddenly slows his movements, drawing out the pleasure with agonising slowness. It's a torturous tease, the brief moments of intensity followed by long, drawn-out strokes that leave you gasping for more.
“Please, please, please, Jjongie,” you whimper in frustration, your body aching for release as Jongseong continues to play you like a symphony, alternating between fast and slow, building the tension to unbearable levels. Just when you think you can't take it anymore, he finally gives in, his fingers dipping into your heat and thrusting into you at a rough pace, your pussy soaking his digits as he coaxes out your orgasm.
“You’re clamping down on my fingers so hard, Baby, you gonna cum?” he asks arrogantly, knowing that with each curl of his finger, he is watching your body lose control and surrender to him.
Nodding quickly, you pull him down for a long, searing kiss as his thumb joins the party and flicks your clit rapidly, “Oh my god,” you moan out into his mouth through bated breaths, “I’m gonna cum, Jongseong, please can I cum?”
“You never have to ask baby,” he moves his mouth to your ear and lightly nibbles your lobe, “Cum for me, Princess,” he gently commands.
Jongseong continues to work his magic, his fingers moving with expert precision as he guides you through the throes of ecstasy. Your vision blurs and every nerve in your body hums with pleasure as you reach the pinnacle of bliss.
With a final, desperate cry, you let go, your orgasm crashing over you like a tidal wave. You arch your back and cry out his name as pleasure consumes you, your body trembling with the intensity of it all.
His fingers remain still inside you, but his thumb maintains its relentless pace, each swipe sending jolts of pleasure coursing through your body. Your hips instinctively twitch in response, your nub throbbing with sensitivity and yearning for a respite. Yet, Jongseong shows no signs of letting up, his determined flicking only intensifying.
"You like that, baby?" Jongseong's voice is hoarse with desire as he intently watches your reactions. His eyes are dark with need as he continues to work you with wild desire. 
Your senses are overwhelmed by sensations pouring through you, so you can only respond with a gasping nod. Every single nerve in your body is buzzing with ecstasy, and all you can think of is the delicious agony of his thumb against your delicate clit.
"Tell me what you want, Princess," he asks, his voice a seductive whisper in your ear, "Do you want more?"
You can only make a frantic plea, your words barely comprehensible in the middle of intense pleasure. "Yes, please, Jongseong... More..."
Jongseong's lips curl into a wicked grin as he hears your plea, his confidence growing with each breathless gasp that escapes your lips. With a teasing twinkle in his eye, he moves his fingers again, pressing them against your contracting walls, his hot breath ghosting over your ear as he speaks.
"What do you want, Y/N?" he whispers, his voice dripping with anticipation, "Tell me, and I'll give it to you."
Your mind is a haze of desire, but amidst the fog, one thought stands out clear and demanding. You need him inside you, filling you completely with his presence. With trembling hands, you reach for him, your fingers curling around his cock, guiding him to where you need him most, pushing his hand out of the way.
"I want you," you whisper, your voice trembling with need. "I want all of you, Jongseong." When you utter the words, there’s a deeper meaning to them, a meaning that Jongseong is clinging to.
The way your fingers wrap around his rock-hard member elicits a hiss from him, your touch mixed with your words only fuels him to give you everything you need. 
Jongseong lets out a guttural groan, entirely surrendering to your touch and words. His eyes darken with want as he watches you take control, and his breath quickens with anticipation as you guide him inside you. His breath coming in ragged gasps, he looks into your eyes with a mixture of desire and adoration, "God, Y/N," he murmurs, his voice rough with need, “You feel so fucking incredible. I’ve missed how you just suck me in like this.”
You look down and watch as his entire length gets lost in your heat, his cock’s head hitting deep within you. You’ve missed how he fills you up so much but you hadn’t realised just how badly until right now as he shallowly thrusts into you.
You respond with a low moan of pleasure, your nails digging into his skin as you pull him closer, urging him to go deeper. "Yes, Jongseong," you whisper, your voice laced with longing, "just like that. I need this so much, I need you."
With each thrust, he grunts in response, his movements becoming more desperate as he seeks to satisfy your every desire, "I'm yours, Y/N," he declares, his voice filled with raw emotion, "completely and utterly yours."
As he lifts your legs and closes them, gently draping them over his left shoulder, your warmth envelops his shaft, drawing him in closer. Jongseong relishes the sensation of your tightness, revelling in the snug embrace of your canal around him. And you too find delight in the pressure of his girth, relishing the way he stretches you further with every powerful thrust.
Each movement of his hips is deliberate, each one designed to bring you both closer to the edge of ecstasy. As his hands stroke your legs tenderly, contrasting with the intensity of his thrusts, you find yourself lost in the intoxicating rhythm of your bodies moving as one.
His jerks grow more intense, the pace quickening as he drives deeper into you, each stroke bringing you closer to the edge, "You feel so good," he groans, his voice filled with unrestrained passion, "so fucking perfect for me, Princess."
In response, you curve your back and meet his thrusts with equal conviction, the heat between you building to an almost euphoric level. "Jongseong," you exclaim, your voice a symphony of fulfilment, "don't stop, please don't stop."
Jongseong intensifies his efforts with a wild growl, each movement driven by a burning need to push you to the edge of satisfaction and beyond. At this moment, there is only you and him, burned by the fires of passion.
With a swift motion, your lover bends you in half, positioning your legs by your head as he quickens his already rapid pace. Lost in a whirlwind of desire, your eyes roll back and your hands instinctively grip his shoulders, your chest heaving with each forceful thrust of his cock. Your nails dig into his skin, leaving marks on his shoulder blades as you cling to him, lost in the intensity of the moment.
Feeling the sting of your nails, he grits his teeth and strains his neck, the veins in his temples pulsating as he fights the overwhelming urge to release inside you right then and there.
“Fuck, claw my back, Baby,” he growls, his voice thick with desire, “make me yours again.” With determination, he continues to pound into you, each movement bringing you closer to your shared orgasm.
After hearing Jongseong’s go-ahead, you dig into his back, dragging your nails across his skin, leaving fiery red lines in their wake, just like he wants. It burns him in the most delectable way, making his cock throb inside of you.
Your breaths combine in the air, creating an ensemble of desire as you both reach the edge. The tension between you grows with each thrust, a crescendo of want reaching its peak.
As he slams into you furiously, his voice fills the room with urgency, "You gonna cum again, Princess? You want it?" His words are a mixture of want and domination, starting a fire inside you that threatens to consume everything in its path.
With a firm nod, you meet his gaze, your eyes brimming with want. "Yes, Jongseong, please," you beg, your voice a frantic appeal for release once again.
In response, he increases his efforts, his motions growing more frenzied as he propels you both to your orgasms. And then, with a final, strong thrust, you shatter, your body convulsing from the ferocity of your release. Jongseong follows closely behind, his own climax mirroring yours as he finds release within you, “Fuck!” 
His body stills as he shoots his seed into you, the tremble of both your bodies vibrates the bed beneath you. Finding it hard to keep himself up, he falls onto you, moving his cock into you further, only drawing out a final moan from your lips.
After a couple of minutes, Jongseong rolls over, his chest heaving up and down rapidly. God, he missed the way you feel under him, he could go another ten rounds if you asked. 
But that would mean you would stay, and is that even something you want? He doesn’t want to ask, your answer being the deciding factor of whether he goes on his life with misery or happiness.
He knows he can’t force you into this relationship but he hopes he has done enough to convince you that you are all he wants.
“Please be with me again, Y/N. I can’t live without you,” he whispers into the air, not daring to look at you.
You on the other hand only want to look at him, to see if you can really try this again, “Even if it means no kids? No playdates with other parents? No family trips to Jeju?”
“Even without all that.” He does look sincere, his eyes now burning into yours with a new lease of determination.
The truth is, you’ve missed him so much that it hurts. Behind the strong facade is just a girl who misses her lover. Being without him is like being in a fire with no escape, constantly fighting your way out of a blaze while your lungs collapse. He’s the clear path to fresh air you desperately need, there is no denying it. And clearly, he thinks the same about you. 
Seeing him last night so fragile and broken engulfed you in the flames, burning you alive because you know that you feel every ounce of hurt that he is. It was a mirror to how you were feeling and you don’t think you knew how badly you needed him until that moment. You were trying to be so strong about it all, giving yourself only a short amount of time to grieve that as you looked at Jongseong last night, you know he has done the same.
You need one another to extinguish the fire.
“Jongseong, truly think about this, this isn’t me saying no to letting you go on a lads holiday, I’m denying you the opportunity to be a father,” you plead with him one last time, giving him an out to all of this as you lay it all on the table.
“Princess, I have had seven months to think about it. I am not compromising or altering my needs for you, this is a decision that I have made on my own. If I truly wanted the life I thought I did, I wouldn’t be begging you to be with me right now. I know this isn’t an easy choice but I have never been more sure about anything in my life.” 
Jongseong kisses all over your face, each one a receipt of his sincerity.
His words strike straight into your heart. He’s serious. A part of you wants to still feel guilty like you’re forcing him into this but on the other hand, he’s right. You’ve given him a multitude of opportunities to leave and find a girl who will cater to him, but he hasn’t. 
He doesn’t need to because all he needs is you and your love, to Jongseong, that is all he needs in his life.
“Okay, but if you ever change your min-”
He interjects with a kiss, one filled with so much happiness and love that it’s almost intoxicating; either that or all the booze in his system has transferred its way into your bloodstream. 
You giggle as he rolls over on top of you again, peppering loud and wet kisses all over your face and neck akin to a dog licking you from utter joy. Your hands try to fight him off playfully, your laugh growing louder as he nuzzles into your neck.
“Oh, wait!” Your lover's sudden pause catches your attention, his eyes sparkling with excitement as he swiftly rolls off the bed and rushes over to the messy pile on the chair by his dresser.
Curious, you crane your neck to see what he's up to, watching as he retrieves something from the floor.
“What is it?” you inquire, intrigued by his enthusiasm.
Turning back to you, Jongseong holds up the familiar torn sheet of paper that you recognise instantly, his smile lighting up his face. He grabs a pen from the desk and returns to your side, handing you both items.
“Tick it off,” he urges, pointing to the bottom of the page where a new addition was made yesterday morning. Despite his internal conflict about the list, he couldn't bring himself to tear it up. If he never saw you again, this would be a precious memory to hold onto.
So he added a new aspiration at the bottom.
Taking the pen from his hand, you read it slowly, “Make Y/N mine again..”
You gaze up at him in awe, understanding the significance of this gesture and how much the list means to him, “You wished for this?” you ask, to which he simply nods at your question, “Then you need to tick it off.” You push the pen and paper back to him but he stops you.
“No, you made the wish come true, so you need to tick it off,” he replies, the corners of his lips upturning slightly.
So with the pen, you draw a line over the words, scoring it off once and for all as you beam proudly, happy that both of your souls are now joined together again. You pull him in for a long, deep kiss, the bucket list discarded as you lose yourselves in the moment once again.
2K notes · View notes
mockerycrow · 7 months
Note
HELLO the biggest congrats on 4k, you absolutely deserve that and so many more!!!
Could I see a female!reader x Ghost with the prompt:“I had a nightmare . . . can I stay with you tonight?”
TY and yet again, congratulations 🤍🤍🤍
REASSURANCE (Ghost x Fem!Reader) — 4K CELEBRATION
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authors note; thank you so much anon <3 i hope you enjoy!
[WARNINGS; not proofread (like most of my fics), silent panic attack + light dissociation, implied you’ve never seen his face, hurt/comfort.]
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You know Ghost has nightmares—everyone knows Ghost has nightmares. No one really wants to talk about it because he doesn’t, but everyone has seen the man up at ungodly hours of the night, or perhaps beating the absolute shit out of a punching bag at the on-base gym.
No one except for Price knows what Ghost’s been through, but no one really questions him. It’s unrealistic to think Ghost is the only one waking up due to their dreams—even Price does on the occasion. What Ghost doesn’t do is ask for help.
You had a weird gut feeling about tonight; you weren’t really restless, but you weren’t tired. Every time you laid down to try to get some sleep, your eyelids would slowly open back up. You tried multiple methods; white noise, thinking about nothing, thinking about a story, taking a sleep remedy—nothing.
You had a weird tightness in your stomach that you couldn’t shake. It’s no big deal, you’ve had several nights like this. Nights where you stay up, half expecting something to happen. You aren’t sure if its the military-esque anxiety flaring up, expecting an attack of some sort or if it’s just one of those nights.
You’re laying in bed, trying to think of what you have to do tomorrow. Might as well try to think of something useful, right? Let’s see, you have to do morning training and then you have to eat, brief with price, it’s your turn to help the armourer—the weapons master, you like to say to piss them off—and you also have to do paperwork.
A very tame evening, you think, avoiding the Q word everyone oh so desperately hates; including yourself. Because the second you say it, you’re going to be called by Laswell, or General Shepherd, or some other CIA federal agent bureaucrat about some fucking thing that’s happening in the god forsaken world that only, and only task force 141 can handle—
—Someone knocks on your door, breaking your disorganized thoughts. Your eyebrows furrow; no one should be up, maybe Price is, or Ghost. Did you forget some paperwork? You sit up, slip your slides on your feet, and you walk to the door. You unlock the door and open it, wincing from the bright light of the hallway pouring in, and you’re met with the large figure of Ghost.
You blink, unsurprised. “Hey.” You utter. “Did I wake you?” God, Ghost sounds rough. It sounds like he garbled glass—er, maybe that isn’t the nicest way to describe one of your superiors voices right now. It’s clear he just woke up. You shake your head in response, stepping aside. “Here, come in. It’s bright.”
Ghost silently obeys, stepping inside of your room. You close the door and head over to your desk. You feel around in the darkness until you feel your lamp and you click a button, turning it on, illuminating the room just enough for you to see Ghost. He’s wearing a pair of dark grey sweatpants with one of his black, long-sleeve compression tops to go with it.
He’s wearing a basic black balaclava without the iconic skull, but.. His eyes are different. Distant and weary, cautious—panicked almost. Your eyebrows furrow together as his broad shoulders are tense, fists clenched.
“Ghost..” You call softly. He seems far away—he needs your help. “Ghost.” You say more insistently and louder, noticing the way his chest is barely moving. “Ghost, hey, can y’hear me? You need to take a breath..” You murmur, slowly approaching him.
He’s frozen but you see how his eyes flicker towards you, taking a moment realize where he is. You offer a soft smile you always show him and you nod. “There you are, big guy. Can I touch you?” You make sure to ask because you never know; a soldier during a flashback, touching them? That can be fatal—you trust Ghost as you don’t think he would ever hurt you, but you never know a person.
It takes him a moment to nod, which makes you promptly and gently grab his wrists. You gently guide him to your bed, and you sit him down. You’re nervous—you’re about to calm him down in one of the only ways you know how to, but you’re worried about the consequences you’ll receive afterwards. Oh well, you don’t care, not when Ghost’s eyes are as unfocused as they are.
The bed dips under his weight and you gently spread his legs, standing between them. You grab his arms; they’re deadweight, but his eyes flicker some recognition, allowing you to guide his arms around your waist. You guide his head to lay against your stomach, your hands cradling his masked jaw and the back of his neck.
Ghost takes in a harsh, shuddery breath which makes you hum in approval. “There you go, Ghost. Breathe, you’re alright.” You say in a mellow manner, your thumb brushing over his masked cheek. Ghost takes in another harsh breath as his arms tighten around you. You continue to try to ground him, talking and praising him for his efforts to stay calm. You know he isn’t in the right mind, but you’re still shocked he’s allowed you to touch him for as long as you have.
Something in your gut unravels as Ghost pulls his head away ever so slightly, ripping his mask off and throws it away like it was constricting his breathing. He buries the side of his face back into your stomach, taking you by surprise. Your met with his blonde hair in the low light, your heart stuttering.
You hesitate only for a moment before you bury a hand in his hair on the back of his head, your other hand returning to his jaw, your heart hammering as you note he has stubble as well as something on his skin, like deep scar tissue.
Ghost lets out a noise which you quickly hum in response. “It’s okay, let it out.. Won’t tell anyone about this, okay?” You assure him, causing another noise to escape him, almost like a laugh. “Kinda hard t’do that when a pretty girl is comfortin’ you.” He croaks, his voice broken—both his voice and sentence making your brain short circuit. You laugh in return, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. “Shush,” You murmur. “Just relax.”
Ghost nods against your stomach, shakily exhaling. You stay like that for a while; neither of you are sure for how long, and neither of you care. You’re enjoying the rare vulnerability Ghost is displaying, and he’s enjoying the grounding touch you’re currently providing him. The silence is comforting as you comb your fingers through his hair, and you enjoy the weight of his head and his arms.
“I had a nightmare…” Ghost utters. You hold your breath as he looks up at you, and oh god, he’s hot. “..Can I stay with you tonight?” You’re mesmerized by the way his nose is curved—clearly has been broken a couple of times and wasn’t reset right—by the way his eyebrows are furrowed, his big, beautiful brown eyes.. You nearly forget to respond. “Yes,” You push out, resisting the urge to reach up and rub the tension between his brows. “Always.”
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thef1diary · 10 months
Text
Neighbour’s Shower | D. Ricciardo
Summary: You are Daniel Ricciardo's neighbour, and one hot summer day where you desperately need to take a shower, it doesn't work.
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Warnings: 18+, penetrative (p in v), unprotected sex, fingering, oral (m and f receiving), slight breast play
word count: 3.8k
Note: did I post this on wattpad and ao3? Yes. Am I going to post it here too? Also yes.
It had been a few months since you moved to Monaco due to your dream job. You had adjusted to the Monaco lifestyle pretty quickly, and you had never been happier. Due to your new job which paid a lot more than your previous job, you were financially stable. You lived in a one bedroom apartment which is a lot bigger than it seems, but the bigger perk was your neighbour.
You actually met your neighbour when you were on your way to work, but forgot your car keys so you had to go back up the elevator. When you entered the elevator, there was a voice coming from outside asking you to hold it open and seemed to be in a hurry. You, being the polite person, held the door open but you didn't know how much your life would change after that. When the man went to press the button to his floor, he realized that you had already pressed it and quickly figured out that you were floor buddies. That instantly sparked a conversation between you two.
"I'm Daniel" he introduced himself, his accent made it clear that he wasn't monégasque. You introduced yourself too, and he repeated your name to remember yet his accent made it sound better.
Your conversation was cut short when you reached your floor but when you both got out of the elevator and started walking the same way, you realized you lived closer than you thought. "I swear I'm not following you" he joked which made you chuckle. "What makes you think that I'm not following you?" You remarked to which he let out a loud laugh. That instantly made you smile and forget that you were running late to work. It also happened to make him forget that he was rushing as well.
Surprisingly, you lived right across from each other, your two apartments were the only ones in that corner of the hall. The others were quite further. "Let me guess, you chose this apartment because of the balcony?" Daniel asked and you nodded. "Yeah, if I'm living in Monaco, I might as well make the most out of the view"
"Touché"
"I'll see you around Daniel" you spoke before entering your apartment, and you heard a "see ya" from the man.
From that day on, you two met every morning. You had early morning shifts since you preferred to be at home in the evening. One day, when the conversation of jobs came up, you found out that he was a Formula 1 driver. You didn't really follow the sport, but your father did which is how you knew about it but clearly not enough since you couldn't recognize a driver in front of you. Then you understood why he also woke up quite early, to train. You looked forward to the days you would see him and walk to the elevator with him. The conversations with Daniel really made your day. Turns out that you weren't the only one.
On the day you weren't feeling too well, you didn't go to work, but a few minutes after the time you would normally leave, you heard a knock on your door. You opened the door to see Daniel Ricciardo with a worried look on his face, a look you didn't see often. "Are you okay?" He sounded concerned. You didn't open the door fully since you didn't want to pass on the flu. "Just a bit sick. Why?"
"I thought you were a bit late so I thought I'd wait but I realized you're never late and now I'm here" he explained, noticing how weird that sounded since you didn't even have each other's phone numbers yet.
You didn't want to make the moment awkward so you joked "awh, you're worried about me? Missed me too much?" You had to turn away to sneeze but when you looked back at him he nodded. "Yeah, I actually like talking to you in the morning, it kinda makes my day" he admitted. You didn't know how to respond to that.
You noted the time "you're gonna be late for your training, don't make your trainer wait too long or he might make you do extra cardio"
"But you're sick" he stated like that was supposed to change anything. "I took the day off. I'll be fine"
You were still standing with only your head peeking out the door and he noticed that yet didn't say anything. "do me a favour?" He asked, and you raised your eyebrow, asking him to continue.
"Leave your door unlocked but go back to what you were doing. I'll be back in a bit" he didn't wait for your reply and headed back to his own apartment. You stood there for a few moments, trying to understand what he wanted you to do but then you did what he asked. You left the apartment door unlocked and went to your bedroom, making yourself comfortable under the covers. You two knew each other for a few weeks and based on Daniel's aura, you knew you could trust him.
You waited for a bit. Listening to the silence, waiting for the door to open. You heard it open and close after twenty minutes, then you heard footsteps and his voice. "I really hope you're not sleeping"
Your apartment had the same layout as his so he could easily figure out where which room was. He knocked on your bedroom door and once he heard you say "come in", he opened it. There he was, holding a tray in his hands. His smile was back and you definitely preferred that smile than the expression you were first met with when you opened the door.
"What's that?" You asked about the tray in his hands since you couldn't see what was on it. "Just some things to help you feel better" He had brought some homemade soup, cough drops, painkillers, and juice.
That day he stayed with you for a few hours, ensuring that you were feeling better. You usually don't like any company when you're sick, watching some shows and rest do the job but spending time with him was definitely something you didn't know you needed that day.
Now, a few weeks later, it was summertime and it was excessively hot. This week wasn't a good week unfortunately. Your car had broken down so you were forced to either take a cab or walk to work. Though you knew if you asked Daniel to drop you, he would've in an instant but he wasn't in Monaco since he had to leave for a race. You were convinced that your week was going bad because he wasn't there to cheer you up. You didn't see his smile when you first leave your apartment nor could you spend time hanging out at each other's place for a movie night.
After that day he took care of you, you exchanged numbers and became better friends. Although you texted each other a lot, it didn't feel the same. Before he left Monaco, he had given you an extra key to his apartment because he told you that some people were meant to come over for furniture deliveries. You texted him once it was over and sent him a few photos of you "living" in his apartment. You pretended to cook in his kitchen and sleep in his bedroom in those pictures but he didn't mind. He actually responded with "How come you don't do that when I'm over?"
Daniel didn't tell you when he'd be back. You had quite a long day at work and you couldn't even find a cab to go home, so you decided to walk since it was only ten minutes. Those ten minutes felt so much longer than it was. By the time you made it to the elevator, you were completely soaked with sweat. You went straight to your home and took off your clothes, making a beeline for your shower.
You turned it on to a cooler setting and held your arm under the water to feel the temperature but it was still so warm. You turned it all the way cold, but the temperature didn't change. It was way too hot for you to take a warmer shower, especially since you wanted to cool down. Unfortunately, you had already took off your clothes. You didn't want to wear those sweaty clothes again but you didn't want to ruin a clean pair of clothes either. You wrapped a towel around you and you texted your neighbour, wanting to ask him if you could use his shower but you saw an unread text message from him. He sent a message mentioning that he reached.
You groaned, it would make it so much more awkward now that he was home. You wanted to ask him if you could use his shower especially since he wasn't home. But now that he was, he would see you in a towel. A part of you didn't want to go but the other part was eager to knock on his door. These past few days, or if we're being honest, since the moment you met him, you were attracted to him. There was no doubt that he's handsome but the unholy thoughts you had about him made you feel guilty of being his friend.
There might've been times where you pleased yourself with him in mind, thinking about what he would do to you. You imagined that Daniel was really good with his tongue because of the amount of times you saw it dart out to lick his lips. You knew he'd be good with his fingers because they were quite long, knowing that he'd hit the right spots. You wondered if he was vocal, perhaps dominant and challenging you to stay quiet which he thrusted into you.
You snapped out of your daze, realizing that you were still hot but now in a different way. You were still sitting in your towel, but the desperation of washing off the sweat was overriding your rational thoughts. That's why you were standing outside Daniel's apartment door, knocking. It took him a while to open the door and you realized why. His hair was drenched and had only a towel wrapped around his waist. He called your name "what's wrong?" He asked as he pulled you in his home by your hand, not wanting anyone else to see you due to your attire.
"My shower's cold setting isn't working and it's too hot to take a warm shower" you stated, keeping your composure as you only looked at him in the eye. He urged you to continue "so I figured I'd ask you if I could use your shower?" You're self control was tested as you watched his eyes break eye contact with you and gaze down your body.
"It's quite hot today isn't it?" He asked, his gazed focused on the part of your cleavage that wasn't covered by your towel. "Yeah it is. So can I?" You asked again and he looked up at your face.
"Normally, I wouldn't mind" Daniel started as he stepped a bit closer to you, making you lean against the door. "But?" You asked.
"But, as you can see-" he paused and gestured to himself which made you finally look at him properly. His skin was glistening, some soap suds still on his shoulders. You realized your mistake. "-I wasn't done taking a shower" he completed.
You opened your mouth to speak but he interrupted you. "I wouldn't mind if you joined me" he suggested. You saw his eyes darken and that damn tongue you dreamed about darted out to lick his lips. Your eyes widened in surprise since you never thought he'd suggest something you only thought about. Your reaction made Daniel think he made a mistake by crossing the boundaries. He was stepping away and about to apologize but you reached out and pulled him in by his neck. As soon as your lips touched, he instantly held your waist, pulling the rest of your body against his.
Your towels were the only cloth blocking you from skin to skin contact but you roamed your hands down his bare chest and back. You nails made lines down his back and he moaned into your mouth, telling you that he liked it. Once you were out of breath and pulled away, he started kissing down your neck, his lips dangerously close to your breasts.
His hands roamed on your legs, inching up the back of your thighs. Daniel's hands went under your towel and gripped your ass making you let out a groan. He brought his face closer to yours but kept his eyes on your towel "let's get rid of this" he easily unwrapped the towel from around you, letting it drop to the floor. He took a look at your bare body, closed his eyes and groaned while biting his bottom lip. "Oh, you're so perfect" he complimented you.
You didn't want to be the only one completely naked so you toyed with the hem of his towel at his waist to hint at what you want. You decided to tease him a bit and not take it off yet, despite how much you wanted to. Your hand wandered down, tracing his abs and v line. Then, you delicately placed your hand around his cock through the towel, feeling how hard it was. You slowly moved your hand up and down, the friction from the towel making him groan. You loved how vocal he was despite how little you were touching him.
While your hand was on his cock, his hands were cupping your breasts. To tease you back, he circled around your nipple, watching it harden but not touching it. Then his thumb and first finger pinched your nipple, slightly tugging it to see your reaction. You felt euphoric, no one had actually paid attention to your breasts before as much as he did, and god you loved it.
You two still had to shower but before you could say anything, Daniel had seemed to read you mind because he picked you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist, feeling his dick rub against the one place you really want it. You were so lost in the pleasure that you didn't realize you were already in the bathroom, nor did you realize you were moving your hips to create more friction.
"So impatient huh?" He teased. Daniel placed you on the countertop beside the sink and leaned in to kiss you again. You watched him turn on the shower and then faced you before taking off his towel. You looked at him, your gaze going lower and lower until you saw what you wanted to see. His cock was hard, precum leaking out but what also caught your eye were his tattoos on his thigh. You saw parts of it before when he wore shorts belonging to his merch but you never saw where it started. It was higher up on his thigh and you almost drooled at the sight.
He walked in the shower which was big enough for two people and looked at you before gesturing you to join him. You instantly got off the countertop and made your way towards him, kissing him passionately underneath the shower head. His kisses were so addicting, and you would happily get drunk on them. Roaming your hand further down, you reached his cock but this time there wasn't a towel to stop you from properly feeling him. You ran your hand up and down his length, sliding your thumb across the tip.
You pecked his lips once more before going down on your knees. You looked up at him and he adored the sight of you on your knees. Placing your hands on the back of his thighs, you placed a kiss on the top of his tattoo, tracing the rest of it with your tongue. It was quite close to his dick but not close enough, he wanted your mouth on him.
"Baby please" he whispered, feeling vulnerable and you were enjoying every moment of it. You placed a kiss on his tip, sucking slightly then releasing it and blowing on it. "Keep teasing me and you'll pay for it" he warned. As much as you wanted to test his limits, you were so, so desperate to taste him. You licked his cock from the base up and swirled your tongue around his tip then finally taking him in your mouth. You tried to take as much as you could without choking and massaged the rest with your hand.
You felt his hand grip your hair slightly tugging on it which made you release a moan around his cock. "Fucking hell, you look so pretty on your knees for me" he commented. While sucking on his cock, you looked up at him and immediately made eye contact with him.
You went on for a few more moments but felt Daniel tugging on your hair and pulled you up by holding the back of your neck. He wasn't agressive, in fact it was just the right amount of force to make you need him more. He wiped the drool off your face with his thumb "your mouth is fucking perfect but I need to taste you"
You saw the man go down on his knees and it was such a hot sight to see. He took your right leg and placed it on his shoulder. It brought your core extremely close to his mouth and he immediately flattened his tongue to lick your folds. Collecting the wetness, he moaned at your taste making you cry out due to the pleasure from both his tongue and the vibrations. You tugged on his wet curls on his head, pushing him even closer to you. He used the tip of his tongue to tease your clit, then went down to slip inside you. He followed that movement a few more times before teasing his fingers around your entrance. "Daniel please"
He moved his mouth away from you, you were almost whining at the loss "please what?" He asked as he slid a finger in then back out. "Use your words darling"
"I need you. Your tongue, your cock. Just fuck me please" You managed to speak up and he was pleased with the answer because he attached his mouth to your core again but going brutally fast. He slid in two fingers with ease, and quickly added another. He wanted to make you cum around his fingers and mouth. And that's exactly what you did. You didn't even have time to give him a warning but your moans that were getting louder was his sign that you were close. You closed your eyes and placed a hand on the shower wall and another on his shoulder to brace yourself.
He stood up, still holding on to you and kissed you deeply, making you taste yourself. "Mhm taste that? That's all you baby. You taste amazing and if it were up to me, I'd make you cum on my tongue until you can't anymore" he whispered dirty words in your ear and you really wanted him to do what he says. But right now, you wanted his cock more than anything.
You rolled your eyes in pleasure at that thought "I need you, so bad" you muttered against his lips and he was more than glad to fulfill your needs.
He picked you up and you instantly wrapped your legs around his waist. Holding you up against the wall, he pushed his cock inside you and you would've been embarrassed at how easily it slid in but you were overcome with pleasure. Daniel watched as your pussy was soaking and every time he thrusted, the wet sounds were heard over the sound of the shower. You arched your back closer to him and he took your nipple in his mouth. Slightly grazing his teeth across your sensitive peaks, it made your head fall against the wall in pleasure.
Already orgasmed once, you quickly reached that point again and since you teased him, he told you that he wasn't going to last long either. He sucked the skin on your breasts, making purple marks that would last a while, reminding you of this exact moment. When he pulled away, you kissed alongside his neck but was afraid to make any marks until he spoke. "Don't be shy. I know you want to" that urged you to paint his tanned skin with purple marks.
Daniel trailed a hand down, putting pleasurable pressure on your clit which was the breaking point for you. You orgasmed on his cock, and feeling your pussy pulsing, he reached his peak as well.
He still held you up, looking at you with a smile on his face and you were sure that your smile was just as big. "That was-" "fucking amazing" you cut him off and he nodded, agreeing with you.
He slid out of you, placing you on the ground and you realized that your knees were weak. He poured the shampoo in his hands and started massaging your head. Following his ministrations, you took some shampoo in your hands and softly scrubbed through his curls. Washing it away, you repeated the process with conditioner then shower gel. You were using his products, which made you smell like him.
He took the shower gel in his hands, and emulsified it before placing his hands on your body. Starting off with your shoulders, then your back. Your back was against him as he brought his hands over your breasts, paying special attention to them once again. Then he did your legs but made sure to rinse his hands before getting to the apex of your thighs. You were incredibly sensitive there so you shivered at his touch. "You still want more?" You asked him, facing the man.
"Now that I got a taste of you, I need more" he replied. "You did make me a promise" you mentioned, referring to the words he said earlier about making you cum multiple times on his tongue. "I did and I will fulfill it" he winked before getting out of the shower and drying himself off while you rinsed your body. He was holding another towel for you and dried you off as well. During that, he had another question "has anyone given you a nipple orgasm?" Daniel asked which made you blush feverishly. You shook your head "no, I don't think that's possible"
Daniel's eyes sparkled, and you knew what he was thinking. "There's always a first for everything" he wrapped the towel around you and cupped your breasts over the towel "they definitely deserve the attention" he rested his head in the crook of your neck and you look at your reflections in the mirror.
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finelinevogue · 11 months
Text
so proud
summary - the morning after the final show
word count: ~1k
pairing: boyfriend!harry x reader
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The next morning was peaceful.
You woke up first and after having forgotten to close the blinds, the light was already streaming inside your bedroom window.
Harry’s Italian house being bought in the countryside meant there was no noise surrounding you. It was just the clattering of guests downstairs making breakfast and morning coffees.
You and Harry were normally early risers, but after last night you both deserved the lay in. Harry more so than you, but Harry can’t sleep without you so it meant you had to stay with him.
“Harry, bub.” You moved your hands over his bare back.
Harry was laying on his front, face smushed into the pillow from such a great nights sleep. After the final show, you’d all gone out for drinks to celebrate and then come back to the house for more celebrations. However, those celebrations mainly included you and Harry having endless rounds of sex until the early hours of the morning.
It was now ten in the morning and you both needed to be up to see some guests off.
You and Harry were staying for another few weeks, but Anne and others had lives and jobs to get back to.
“Mm.” He mumbled, his lips slightly rolled due to his face being engulfed by the pillow.
His hair was very messy and curly this morning. You started picking some piece off of his face, watching as his eyelids fluttered from the disturbance.
The sunshine was glazing over his body so perfectly.
He looked like a summers dream.
“Wake up, m’love.” You moved the covers down over his body to expose him to the morning air, kissing his bare back as you did so.
You kissed all his tiny moles and freckles, before kissing the one part of him that had only been yours and his for so long; his birthmark.
He hummed again as he felt you kiss him on his lower back.
“Kiss me a bit lower.” He mumbled cheekily.
You responded by nipping at his skin with your teeth. You made your way back up his body and kissed his cheek finally, watching his eye open.
“Hey, handsome.” You smiled, cupping his cheek and leaning down to awkwardly kiss him on his lips. It was a difficult position to kiss him in, but you didn’t mind.
“Hey.” He smiled, the pillow creasing slightly from the movement.
“How’s my shining star feeling this morning?” You asked, tucking his hair behind his ear. You mentally reminded yourself to give him a haircut soon.
“Still shining.”
“So proud of you.” You nuzzled your nose against his.
“You might’ve mentioned that last night.” Harry rolled over and snaked an arm around your waist in the process, so he could have a feel of you in the morning.
“I definitely showed it.” You teasingly smiled.
“You did, baby.” Harry smiled as he reminisced the night in his mind. He rubbed his fingers over his eyes with his free hand, waking himself up.
You watched him for a few moments, just watching him soak in the morning sun like he was an expert at it. He glowed so bright.
Last night was so incredible.
He shone so bright last night.
Brighter than the moon he admired so much.
You twisted your body as sat up more, facing the wall on the opposite side to Harry.
You looked to the ceiling as you tried to conceal your tears. You wiped under your eyes as you tried to push the tears back into your eyes, but no matter because the wall became blurry within seconds.
No sounds had to be made for Harry to know you were upset.
He sat up instantly and wrapped one arm around your waist and the other softly cupped your chin to direct your face to his.
“Hey? What’s with the tears?” He asked, frowning because he hated seeing you upset.
“I’m so proud to the point where I can’t stop crying.” You laughed, thinking it was such a silly reason for crying now that you’d said it out loud.
“Baby…” Harry said softly.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay. No sorry’s needed. Cry all y’want, love. God knows I did all the crying last night.” Harry tried to lighten the atmosphere with a silly joke.
You laughed again. Harry used his fingers to wipe the tears below your eyes.
“I love you. So much.” You let him know.
“I know. I love you just as much.” He nodded.
“You’re so amazing. You’re so cool. You’re a star. What you did last night… Well done, baby. I’m just so proud.”
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wolfiesmoon · 5 months
Text
A valid excuse
Floyd x gn!reader
I have been consumed by tweel brainrot there is no turning back
Anyways here's something i thought of in 5 mins lfmaooo
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You were awakened from your peaceful slumber by loud and oddly agressive knocking at the door to Ramshackle dorm.
What in the world? Who is trying to visit at this hour?
You groan, gently pushing Grim off you and slowly making your way to the door to find out who your late night visitor is.
"Finally..." Floyd mumbles when the door reveals your slouched figure. He makes a mental note of how you look in your sleepwear.
"...Floyd?" You mumble sleepily, hoping you didn't say the wrong twin's name. It's kind of hard to tell which one it is in the dark.
"You sure took your sweet time answering the door, Shrimpy." He invited himself in, casually walking past you into the lounge . Yup, it's definitely Floyd.
"Why are you here?" You yawned.
He squeezed you really hard all of a sudden, which woke you up almost instantly. You felt your bones cracking, you swear. Way more effective than an alarm clock. Or Grim.
"I had a nightmare... Can I sleep in your bed?" He pouted at you almost comically.
"That's why you came banging on my door at 2 AM?" You raised a brow at him, slightly annoyed. And besides, Floyd wasn't even your boyfriend or anything. He's just that one guy who gets really excited when he sees you for some reason. Why is he coming to you with this overly childish request? Jade works just fine.
His pout increased and he squeezed you even harder. As a warning, no doubt.
Seems there's no way out of this...
"Okay, okay- Fine-" you sounded strained due to your innability to breathe. You kinda don't want to die because of Floyd's squeezing, though it would certainly be a unique way to go.
"Yay~" he let go of you, prancing over to your bedroom like an excited child.
You followed behind him, worried that he might throw Grim out the window to make space for himself. If there's one thing you know about Floyd, it's that he's unpredictable. Not that that's a bad thing, you just don't want to end up with catlike casualty tonight.
"Ehhhh, why is Sealie all cuddled up on your bed?" he sounded offended, like someone just took his well deserved space.
"...He always is." you smile to yourself, thinking of how Grim is actually kinda like a real cat when he's all curled up by your side. You always feel the urge to pet him when he's like that.
Floyd takes a step forward (to "remove" Grim, no doubt) but you quickly pick up Grim and place him down on the rocking chair to prevent a premature death. Grim so owes you for this later.
"Here, the bed's all yours." you point to it somewhat nervously, watching his expression soften. I mean, were you seriously just going to let him sleep with you? You're honestly so tired you don't even care anymore.
He flops down on the bed unceremoniously, waiting for you to join him. As soon as you do, he hugs you tightly. "My dream was soooo bad... It was just horrible..." he mumbled into you with an overly dramatic undertone.
You still have no idea if the nightmare was just an excuse or if he actually had one. Either way, he is squeezing you right now and seems quite satisfied. You let your eyes slip closed.
"Wanna tell me what it was about?" you whisper.
"Later... I feel like squishing you forever for now..." he swung one of his lanky legs over you, sighing happily.
"You know Azul will get mad at you if you squish me forever, right? Cuz you won't show up to work..." you surrender yourself into his embrace fully, noting how smooth his arms are.
"I don't really care, to be honest...."
You suddenly felt a kiss on your cheek and you jolted slightly. Did Floyd just kiss you?
No, no. That was definitely just your imagination. You're half asleep, after all.
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it's late at night as i'm proofreading this and i just got a rook card when i wanted the vil one😭😭😭😭😭😭my unluckiness knows no bounds
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jasminsstories · 5 months
Text
[01:22 am]
pov: you want to wait until zayne comes home, but he works overtime again. when he comes home he finds you asleep already.
fluff. just pure soft fluff. use of pet names (angel, love). zayne x reader
your tired eyes wandered to the top left of your smartphone screen where the numbers of the current time was displayed. “seems like zayne is working overtime again huh”, you muttered to yourself and a yawn left your mouth. your fingers opened the message from him earlier that day where he wrote how we wanted to come right to your place after he is done working. those were the last words he left you. it seemed like the cardiologist got too busy right after. you didn’t even realize how your heavy eyes closed on their own while you read the message again and your phone display darkened right afterwards.
you didn’t know what exactly woke you but you noticed a shifting on the bed and a rustling of the bed sheets. “mhmn..?”, you turned on your back and managed to crack your eyes slightly open. however due to the darkness of the room you couldn’t see or make out anything. “go to sleep again, angel”, you heard a familiar low voice whisper and the warmth of a hand caress your cheek, “sorry, i didn’t want to wake you up.” your drowsy eyes closed again in relaxation, because you were now certain who the person next to you was. so you just leaned your head into his hand and rubbed your cheek slightly against it with a soft sigh, “zayne.. you late.” your sleepy brain was not quite able to form a coherent sentence, but the chuckle from your lover revealed that he couldn’t care less and probably even found it adorable. “i got a sudden emergency operation and it took longer than expected”, the raven haired doctor answered and that’s when he made out your phone right next to you, laying there discarded. carefully he picked it up to put it to safety on your bedside table. you could feel the warmth of his body loom over you while he did this. “…you waited for me?” “mhmm.. yeah” “i didn’t want to make you wait, i’m sorry” you could already imagine his furrowed eyebrows and the apologetic gleam in his orbs behind your closed eyes, so you just shook your head and reached your arms upwards in hopes to find his body. you were lucky and without hesitation you enclosed his broad form to pull him towards you. he let out a surprised sound and instinctively quickly propped his hands against the mattress to prevent his weight completely fall onto you. “doesn’t matter- you are here now”, you mumbled and nuzzled your nose into his hair. a fond smile spread across zayne’s lips and he felt how his exhausted body absorbed the warmth and comfort you provided him even when you were half asleep. slowly he shifted his weight to lay down beside you, snaking his arms around your body to completely engulf you in a hug. you felt his familiar smell and warmth wrap around you and you immediately nestled your head against his chest. the rhythmical, strong beats of his heart, pulled you to sleep again. “i will always come back to you”, he said quietly, not sure if you were still able to hear his words. “good night, my love” zayne pressed a loving kiss on the crown of your head, before he closed his eyes and the world of dreams called him.
✨ note: this got way longer than i thought and intended to, but i’m so down bad for this man. had to get my brain rots out somehow. it’s been really long since i wrote something like this and english is not my first language so excuse me if there are mistakes or it’s a bit wonky on some ends. thinking about writing more zayne stuff in the future, but i’m not sure if there are people who would want to read these ><
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hannieehaee · 5 months
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so about the dk thing... hold my beer, luna! I have some things for you:
- him being the biggest advocate for princess treatment™ 24/7, but becoming mean one specific night out of stress (due to work or anything you want), the outcome can be angsty or smutty >> this one can be a little tricky, because I swear I never saw seokmin mad...
- seokmin with an extremely shy s/o who makes him endeared every time, especially if she struggles when asking for any type of ffection
- dk in his mingyu era... also known as the scenario where seokmin gets constantly teased by his s/o about everything he does (which I can see happening, since he's such a sweet soul), but there's a turn 🤨☝️: dk gets his bite back by domming the f out of her 🫶
this is the result of being extremely dk obsessed.
I don't know if any of these were able to spark anything in your pretty brain, but I love anything you write anyway so...
kisses ♡
18+ / mdi
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content: mean!seokmin, sub-ish reader, afab reader, smut, established relationship, angst, fluff, penetrative sex, etc.
wc: 2813
a/n: thank u for the suggestions anonie i loved them 🫡 i decided to do the first one hehe (mostly bc i live for princess treatment in fics but thats a subject for another day) hope u enjoy, fellow dk obsessed individual <3
masterlist
if there was an award for best boyfriend, seokmin would easily get first place.
he was always known to be the sweetest, most caring boy around. he had even gotten teased in front of millions over the extremely long texts he had a tendency to send to showcase how deeply he cared for the people in his life. seokmin just happened to be an overly affectionate guy, but who could blame him when he had so much love to give?
however, no one had truly scratched the surface of his affections. no one, but you. you bore the brunt of the most passionate and emotional aspects of his love. there was no one in this world seokmin knew how to love better than you. it was almost as if being your boyfriend had been the one task he had been sent to do on this earth. and he did it damn well.
to sum it up, you were his everything. seokmin had always craved romantic love; to have someone who he could give all his affections to without any type of filter or judgement. you happily received his love and gave yours right back, making you one of the most envied couples around due to the love that very clearly radiated out of the two of you.
every single one of your days was met by endless affection from your boyfriend, affections which he adored to give to you. you never had to ask for anything from seokmin. he just always knew the perfect ways in which to take care of you, always insisting on tending to your every need. however, everyone has off days. even seokmin.
the day had started like any other. you'd gone to sleep in each other's arms, waking up equally as tangled up as the previous night. seokmin woke up first, quickly getting ready before kissing you goodbye with the promise of coming back in time to have a dinner with you. the prospect always made him giddy. his whole life he'd always wanted a domestic routine to share with the love of his life day by day and now it was his reality.
like always, he departed home with a smile on his face, knowing he was about to arrive to his dream job that he shared with his best friends only to go back home at the end of the day and fall into your arms all over again. life was good; far too good to seokmin.
it seemed like those were the last few good moments seokmin was meant to have that day, as absolutely everything went wrong after that.
it first began with him embarrassingly tripping on his way out of the car that had driven him to the company, cutting up one of his favorite designer tops (one that had been a limited edition by the way!!). only a few people had seen, so the fall on its own hadnt been too embarrassing. however, as he fell he also happened to drop and smash his phone screen. upon trying to turn his phone back on, he failed, now being stuck with a useless phone for the rest of the day (or even all the way until he had a chance to get it fixed).
the shitty day did not end there. it was just starting.
the next awful predicament occurred just as he walked into the practice room. he hadnt known it until stepping foot inside, but he had just walked into a fight. a few of the members had been fighting about some stupid and unimportant thing, which made at least half of them far too irritable for their own good. on days in which members were irritated at each other, their coordination had a tendency to lack, which only caused more irritation. members snapped at each other throughout the day, making the hours of practice almost unbearable for seokmin. on top of that, he had developed a huge headache just an hour into leaving home. he was also nursing an old ankle injury he had neglected to get treated, which was now acting up due to his fall earlier that day.
his ankle injury led to a few performance team members snapping at him due to his lack in performance. he knew in his heart of hearts that it was just a stressful day for them all (and that his own attitude had been snappy thus far), but he couldnt bring himself to reason this, making him snap right back at his members. even upon going out to eat with his manager he bumped into some rude fans who had been a bit careless with his personal space, except this time he coupdnt react since he knew itd become a scandal.
halfway through his day seokmin realized how rude and unlike himself he had been acting. usually he'd be the mediator in any arguments among members, but today he had even joined in and worsened the situation. he also never really minded if fans were a little overexcited upon meeting him, simply chalking it up to the shock they felt at seeing him. except this time he found himself feeling annoyed? at it. this was very unlike him, but his mood simply continued to worsen throughout the day.
by the time he was heading back home, the final nail was hammered into the coffin. the van that usually drove him back and forth had broken down, causing seokmin, his driver and manager to have to stop on the side of a busy street to check on the issue. seokmin, of course, had to stay inside the van and not make his presence known, knowing he'd easily be recognized in the busy street. this was a fact that irritated him too for some reason.
by the end of it, it had taken over an hour to get the problem fixed, and he had no access to his phone to contact you and let you know that he'd be arriving home way later than usual.
that was the moment in which you entered his mind again. the thought of you instantly made him sigh in relief, knowing that soon enough he'd get to fall asleep in your arms and wake up to a better day.
it was 10:47 when he finally arrived back to your shared home, two hours after the usual time in which he'd reunite with you every day. upon walking in he was met with something he had not wanted to deal with after such an stressful day. you were there to greet him as per usual, but did not seem too happy to see him.
you opened your mouth before he could say anything.
"seokmin, what the hell? i called you twelve times. i even asked the members to call you and no response? what was so important that you ignored me all day?", you seemed very frustrated as you said it, clearly oblivious to the terrible day he'd just had.
"baby– "
"you said you'd be here for dinner by 8! what was so important you couldnt even give me a heads up? we rarely ever get to have dinner together. i spent hours cooking and getting ready and you just ditch me, and for what?", you continued to ramble, giving him no space to answer.
now, any other day seokmin wouldve maybe assumed that your outburst mightve been due to you having a bad day of your own. but today he was just too angry. there was no space in his mind for him to rationalize your lack of sympathy to him in this moment. despite knowing there was no way for you to know that his day had sucked, he also reasoned that you were not even giving him a chance to explain himself. this fact on its own finally did him in. you were going to be unreasonable? fine, then he was going to be mean. all frustrations from the day suddenly came together and manifested into the angry words that were about to leave his mouth.
"and– "
"god, can you please shut up?", he suddenly interrupted you with a tone so icy he even surprised himself, but he kept going regardless, "ive had such a horrible day, i dont appreciate coming home to your nagging. do you even care that maybe i had a reason for being late? i dont have to be here at eight on the dot every single night. nor do i have to keep you updated all day. god, please just leave me alone for today. i cant deal with you on top of everything else."
upon finishing his rambles, seokmin was out of breath. he hadnt said much, but the venom behind his words was enough to render him speechless. the moment the words left his mouth he felt the utmost regret. your face had gone from shocked to dejected to simply sad as he spoke. his went from frustrated to angry to regretful. the two of you stared at each other for a few seconds before seokmin tried to go and rectify himself.
"fuck, baby ... im so sorry, i dont know where that came from. i– i didnt mean any of that. i had a horrible day and– "
"is that it? it seemed like something you'd already thought about", it was now your turn to be angry, it seemed.
"no, baby, i swear! i was just trying to ... trying to be mean. i was trying to hurt your feelings. im so sorry. everything went wrong today and i was just so angry all day. i couldnt even call you because i broke my phone. see!", he pulled his phone out to show you, taking the opportunity to get closer to you, "i know its no justification, but i did not mean a single word i said. i love our nightly routine. i love coming home to you every day more than anything. please dont doubt that. i shouldntve taken out my anger on you. it will never happen again. please, please forgive me?", his endless ramble finally came to an end, puppy eyes staring into yours as he hoped you saw the sincerity in them.
halfway through his speech he had managed to make you give into him and let him hold you as he spoke. this simple act made him glad.
"minnie ... im sorry you had a bad day. but you should never speak to me like that. i love you, but i wont tolerate that. if something bothers you, you have to tell me, not blow up on me like– "
"no! nothing about you ever bothers me! i adore absolutely everything about our relationship and our routine. im so sorry. i shouldve told you when i came home that my day had put me in a mood instead of snapping at you like that."
you chuckled, "i cant really blame you. i threw accusations at you the moment you walked in. im sorry. can we call it even?"
"yes, angel. of course. im sorry i spoiled the dinner. wish i couldve seen how pretty you dressed up for me," he pouted at you.
"it's okay, minnie. there's always tomorrow. are you still feeling angry? did your ramble help you at least?", he winced at the mention of the disrespectful words he had just spoken mere minutes ago, but you seemed already unaffected by them.
to be quite honest, seokmin still felt peeved off at his day. from his fall, to his phone, to his members being mean and unreasonable, to then having his car fail and keep him from you, to then finally getting home and picking a fight with you, it was safe to say he was still dissatisfied. he needed something to relieve his stress, but he didnt want to put that onto you again.
"honestly? i still feel frustrated. it was just such a shitty day, i ... i dont know," he sighed, "i kinda feel like breaking something."
"how about me?", you sounded so genuine as you asked.
"huh?"
"yeah. you could use me to destress. right, minnie?", there wasnt even any lust behind your words. he could tell that it was simply you trying to help out your stressed boyfriend.
"d– do you mean be mean to you?"
you nodded, leaning closer to him as you smiled.
"yes, minnie. would that help? taking your frustrations out on me?"
he groaned with no response, choosing instead to pull you into a greedy and wanton kiss.
his hands were immediately rough as they desperately kneaded at every curve in your body, so harsh in their movements he was already sure he'd leave a bruise or two in his wake.
suddenly he pulled away to inquire at you.
"wait, baby. are you sure? i don't want to hurt you."
"you won't. you never would. do your worst, seokmin," and with that, you pulled him back to you to continue kissing.
surprisingly enough, the simple kissing on its own had begun to alleviate his mood a bit. being able to feel your whines as he fondled your body as he saw fit was already making him forget about his shitty day.
it didnt take long for him to drag you to your shared room and throw you on the bed, immediately going to rip your skimpy pajamas off so that he could have a full view of the body he was about to ram into the bed.
"oh, angel. you're so fucking beautiful ... gonna be so fucking mean to you, angel, im sorry," except he wasnt sorry. and both his tone of voice and devilish grin let you know of that fact.
you lay limp for him to take action, something which made him groan internally, knowing you were putting yourself fully at his disposition. he took advantage of this, choosing to undress himself and finally begin to hover over you.
immediately he flipped you around roughly, forcing you onto your elbow and knees as you gasped at the sudden movement. he fondled you some more and made it so you'd arch your back for him as much as physically possible.
he had no need to prepare neither you nor himself, as he was hard the moment you asked him to use you, and you were practically dripping at his rough attitude.
"baby, gonna fuck you now, yeah? let me know if it's too much."
you gave him the green light, leading him to immediately ramming into you with no further warning.
"f– fuck!"
"oh, fuck. feel so fucking good, beautiful. gonna fuck you so good ... gonna atone for every shitty thing that happened today ...", with that he began slamming into you with no mercy, drinking in every single scream you let out. he knew his neighbors might mind, but he didnt care for that right now. all he wanted was for you to crumble under him.
"you're such a good toy for me, angel. my pretty girl, letting me use her– fuck! ... however i see fit."
"m– minnie!"
"i know, beautiful, i know. such a pretty toy ..."
his movements only became harsher as he grew closer and closer to his end. he knew yours was coming too, based on the heightened pitch of your moans and the way you tried to push yourself back on him despite the sheer strength of his thrusts. it was impossible for him not to fall in love with how good you were for him. it was also impossible for him to be actually mean to you, choosing instead to praise you as your orgasm came to be.
"c– cum for me, beautiful. let me fill up your pretty cunt ..."
"yes, minnie! yours, all yours ..."
he didnt need more than that to fill you up, ramming against you one last time as he winced at the loud sound of his hips slamming against your ass. he swore he almost lost consciousness at the inexplicable pleasure he felt from cumming so deep inside you, hearing you slump over due to lack of energy.
your orgasms subsided together, leading seokmin to do quick work of your clean up and settling with you in the still half-messy bed, rushing to hold you in his arms, which was what he'd wanted since leaving home that morning.
"feel better?", you broke the silence.
"yeah, thanks angel," he grinned at you, giving you a quick peck.
"you weren't even mean to me!", you whined.
"it was hard, okay? i love you!"
"yeah, whatever ..."
"say it back!"
"ill think about it."
"baby!", this time he unglued your bodies, hovering over you as he tried to give you his, "you dont be mean!"
you giggled at him, giving in upon his sudden attack of kisses all over your face, "fine! i love you!"
he finally stopped, opting to cuddle into your side once more, "that's what i thought."
a/n: sorry the smut was too short idk how to write seokmin as mean 💔
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sweetbans29 · 1 month
Text
Power Couple - CC
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Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader
Summary: Life during Caitlin and your rookie season - Based on THIS request
Warnings: None that I can think of :) just some fluff for ya
Word Count: 4.8k
Power Couple Part 2
Sweetbans Masterlist
AN: I don't know much about soccer but I tried my best! I hope you enjoy! Please let me know what you think 🤍
The first time Caitlin knew you were something special was in high school. The two of you faced off on the soccer field during a game. This was when Caitlin still played soccer and was figuring out if she wanted to pursue soccer in college or basketball. She ended up going with the latter and was thankful for it because you were a force to be reckoned with.
You had nearly a perfect game. Your team came out on top but no thanks to a certain player on the other team. When the game was over and your team was going around saying 'good game' to the other team you pulled no.23 in.
"You almost gave me a run for my money, keep it up babe," you say as you bring her into a half hug so you can whisper it in her ear. You give her hip a little pinch before shaking hands with her coaches.
Caitlin is left speechless. She goes back into the locker room - star-struck and a little confused. She has never really been interested in anyone and has never really had the time to date but you had her wanting more. That night, she did some IG stalking and found you. She spent the whole evening looking through your page and all your tags. She went through all your teammate's photos and even searched you as a tag. She fell asleep contemplating if she was going to follow you. It seemed silly that she was nervous to press a button.
She dreamt of you that night. Had a dream that the two of you played D1 soccer in college together and were the 'it' couple of school (not like that is really a thing in college but a girl can dream). When she woke up in the morning she looked at her phone to see what time it was. She shot up when she saw the notification that you had followed her. She couldn't believe a single notification had her feeling like a little school girl but there she was.
When you woke up the next morning, you saw that Caitlin had requested to follow you back.
From there - she was the one to message you first, talking about how amazing you had played and how impressed she was. You were hardcore flattered. The two of you didn't talk much after but you both followed each other in your respective sports. You learned that Caitlin dropped soccer for basketball which you thought was a shame - she could have easily gone D1. But watching her on the court was something else. Her IQ on the court was something you had never seen before.
It was during your senior year of high school that the two of you started going to watch each other play. At least when you both had the time, which wasn't super frequent. It was merely a taste of what the two of you were about to experience in college. Both of you had signed to become Hawkeyees. Caitlin for basketball and you for soccer.
It was your freshman year of college that the two of you started hanging out. You had become pretty close friends that always acted like more. Your friendship took a turn one night when you were taking care of a very sick Caitlin.
"I don't want soup," she pouts and turns away from the spoonful of soup you are trying to feed her.
"Caitlin you need to eat," you say as you grab her shoulder to hold her down from rolling over. She tries to fight you but is extremely weak due to the flu overtaking her body. She whines when she can't turn away from you and lays there in defeat. She looks like she is on the verge of tears.
"Hey, hey," you say as you rub her arm. "Shhh it's okay love." Your hand comes up to her face and caresses it. She looks up at you with such tired eyes. "I know you don't want to but you haven't eaten in days and it's scaring me."
Her eyes stare into yours as she takes your hand holding the spoon and guides it to her mouth. She takes a little bite that looks painful to swallow but she does. You kiss her forehead and continue to feed her the broth.
Later that night you fell asleep next to her bed, you took the floor to not get sick yourself. Caitlin woke up and saw you sleeping on the floor. She turned to face you and looked down, she loved watching you sleep. You always looked so peaceful which is so different than watching you on the field. She reached down and brushed a piece of hair from your face and whispered 'I love you'. Little did she know that her touch had stirred you awake and you heard her little confession.
It was shortly after Caitlin got better that you two started dating. You went public on your three-month anniversary, which was also when you signed for the USWNT. It had been a dream of yours since you were a little girl.
You stopped playing for Iowa once you joined the women’s team but that didn’t stop you from going to support your girl for her games whenever you could. Caitlin did the same whenever you had games close by and the two of you sort of became known supporters at each other's games. It was kind of cute how people would get excited to see Caitlin coming to your games and vice versa. Someone had even started an amateur fan account for the two of you, nothing ever came from it but it would pop up on your feed every now and again. It was mostly posts of you wearing Caitlin's jerseys at her games and Caitlin wearing your jerseys to support your games.
There was one game you went to support Caitlin and had her fans come up and ask for pictures with you. It was cute how her fans were so supportive of the two of you. But with support, also comes hate.
As the years go on, your relationship with Caitlin grows. By the time the two of you are entering your senior year of college, you have pretty much been through it all. The ups and downs have been very high and very low but you wouldn't have changed any of it. It was because of those times that you know as you begin your careers, you and Caitlin will make it.
It is during your last year that you get drafted as the first pick to the Chicago Red Stars. Caitlin and your family are there for the draft and are over the moon for you to be playing closer to home. When your name is announced - you hug your family first then make your way to Caitlin. She engulfs you in a hug and kisses the top of your head. You look up and give her a little kiss before heading up to shake the announcer's hand and head off to a few interviews.
Being drafted before the school year ended meant that you would have to finish your senior year online. It wasn't your favorite but you were determined to get your degree, even though everyone was saying you no longer needed it. It was something you felt like you needed to accomplish.
This also meant that you would be moving to Chicago to start training. At no point was there ever any tension in your relationship with Catilin when it came to moving. The two of you had a conversation early on about what your life goals were which included playing pro for your respective sports. The two of you talked through what that would look like and how you would prioritize one another while pursuing each of your dreams. The way you two were on the same page only solidified your relationship even more.
As Caitlin and the Hawkeyes were heading into March Madness - you weren't able to make it to the Sweet Sixteen or the Elite Eight. That didn't stop you from watching your girl dominate on the court - breaking records and doing what she does best (shooting logo threes).
You were bummed that you couldn't be there when she broke the NCAA scoring record but one of your teammates got a video of you watching your girlfriend make history and posted it. It gained a lot of traction and was the first time they featured your relationship on any sports network.
When you found out Caitlin was heading back to the final four - you made it a priority to head to Clevland to watch. You were able to pull some strings and get courtside seats to watch your girl front row. You watched them play UConn and were stressed the entire game. This was some of the best defense you have seen a team put up against Cait. They came to fight.
Throughout the game you had people come up to you and ask for autographs and photos. It was neat to see it was a variety of both Caitlin's fans who knew you as her girlfriend and also your fans who have watched you since you started with the USNWT.
When the Hawkeyes pulled through and took the win - everyone flooded the court, making it almost impossible to find Caitlin. It was actually a handful of people in the crowd who helped you locate her. When you saw her, you ran straight up to her and wrapped your legs and arms around her. You knew what this game stood for - it was redemption from the previous year.
"THAT WAS AMAZING BABE!" You yelled right in her ear.
She laughs and spins you around, "I am so glad you were able to make it." She inhales you and is reminded of how much she misses you. "Do you have to leave?" She asks, only half-heartedly wanting the answer.
"Well knowing you were going to win this game and Coach not needing me back until Monday, I am staying to the final," you say hoping down from your girl but keeping your arms around her neck.
Caitlin brings you back into her and just holds you. As thankful as she is that her team just won, she is even more grateful that she gets to spend some time with you. Cait and the team only had a light practice the day in between games. The rest of the day was to be used as a rest day with the exception of a team dinner. You spent the day in Caitlin’s hotel room. Most of the time the two of you spent catching up on life and how each of you has been doing. She talked about her feelings about how she contemplated staying at Iowa for a fifth year versus going to the WNBA draft. The two of you had talked a little over the phone about it but there was something about having you there that really opened her up about all the thoughts she truly had. You sat there and listened to her talk - it was one of your favorite things to do. You could sit with her forever and be content.
She loved talking to you because you never pushed her in one direction or another, but would rather genuinely listen to her. And when she would pause to gather her thoughts, you would ask her questions to help her figure out what she wants to do and not what the media expects of her. You knew the last thing that she needed was someone else telling her what she should and shouldn't be doing.
When it was your turn to unpack - you talked about the shift from playing on the women's national team to a city team. It was a shift but one that was really nice. It felt like you were finally able to settle down somewhere and you were excited for her to feel the same and hopefully a little closer to yourself than she was at now. You missed being around her.
You continued to talk about how her team has been super welcoming and that you all instantly fit into the team. That was something Caitlin knew you were worried about signing with the Chicago Red Stars. She hasn't been out to one of your games yet but is hoping to before she goes into training.
That night you joined Caitlin at the team dinner. All the girls were happy to see you. It was great getting to spend some time with everyone - with Cait being on the team, you had become really close to some of her friends. Kate and Gabby were especially happy to see you.
You went to watch the championship game the next day - sitting right behind the team's bench. You watched your girl put up 18 points in the first quarter - breaking another record in her last collegiate game.
As the game progressed you saw how difficult it was for the Hawkeyes to put up points against the best defensive team in the league. But they put up a fight.
In the final quarter, you could see the hope in the team's eyes slip away as the momentum SC was gaining kept going. When there were only a few minutes left, you saw the shift in Caitlin's demeanor and knew that she was beginning to accept defeat.
At the one-minute mark, Coach Bluder pulled her starting seniors and allowed some of the other girls take the court. As Caitlin was walking off, she alongside Kate and Gabby went down the line of coaches and gave them each a hug. When she sat down on the bench, you couldn't see her face but knew she was struggling to keep it together. If there was anyone else in this stadium that knew how much she wanted this win, it was you.
It didn't come as a surprise when Caitlin sat right in front of you. You leaned down to her and placed your hand on her arm. No words needed, just a sign to show her that you were there. Her hand comes up and rests on yours, giving a little squeeze.
She spent that night in your arms. You tried to get her out of her head but weren't doing a great job of it. All Caitlin really wanted was to be held by you and that is exactly what you did.
You flew back to Chicago that Monday - feeling sad you were leaving Caitlin but know you left her in good hands with Kate and Gabby. Before leaving - Caitlin booked a flight to come out to watch you play in Chicago. You thought it would be a good distraction as well as nice to have her back in the stands.
When it was game day, you took the field for warm-ups, occasionally looking towards the stands to see where your girlfriend was watching from. It wasn't an easy task but you looked in all the typical places she would watch from when you were playing for the USWNT. When you couldn't find her in the crowd, you got worried that she wasn't able to make it. When you got back to the bench, you did a quick scan when one of the other girls came up to you and pointed to one of the boxes. Looking over - you saw Caitlin in the middle box talking with your team manager.
A smile makes its way to your face as you see them talking and laughing. Your team manager was kind of a hard-ass which would have you worried if it was anyone other than Caitlin. But knowing your girl, she could start a conversation with anyone.
Throughout the game, you would glance up to the box. You were met with the sight of either Caitlin watching intently or her talking with whoever else was there. You noticed one of the times she was talking to one of your teammate's wives. It was such a comfort to have her there.
At the end of the game, your team pulled through and took the dub against the Kansas City Current. As the team was celebrating you felt someone come up from behind you and spin you around. Knowing immediately who it was, when you were put down - you turned and jumped into Cailtin's arms.
"Proud of you babe," she says as she embraces you yet again.
"I am glad you were able to come," you say and grab her hand to introduce her to a few of your teammates.
The next day you see an article out about Caitlin coming to your game. It wasn't the first but it was the first that you saw circulate social media to this extent. It caught like wildfire and the next thing to know your following on IG went from 20k to 50k.
You didn't think much of it considering you don't follow the media really at all but thought it was cute and shot it over to Caitlin. She thought it was funny and criticized the photo they chose of the two of you.
The next thing you know, you are in New York getting ready for the WNBA draft. You are sharing a room with Caitlin and just sit in awe as your girl is getting dressed. She is the first to sport Prada for the WNBA and she is looking amazing.
Once she is dressed, the two of you head down. There are a few photos snapped of Caitlin on the way down, you follow closely behind her, trying to not get in the frame. That proves hard to do as she refuses to let go of your hand. At one point she looks back and gives your hand a little kiss before heading into the elevator to head down to the orange carpet.
The night went by in a blur. Caitlin is the first pick and is headed to the Indiana Fever. It was what both of you were prepared for and have honestly started planning for as well. You two started talking about how it would be so nice to only be an hour's plane ride away from each other (a 3-hour drive if needed).
Her crew celebrates by going out for some drinks and food. It was a fun night out with the girls not only celebrating Caitlin but also Kate who was drafted into the Aces. The two of you end the night back in the hotel.
The next morning, you started to get notifications and messages about the media calling you and Caitlin the new 'Power Couple' of the sports world. Before you could open anything on your phone, Caitlin was showing you hers. You looked at the post that Ovvertimewbb posted. It was the photo of Caitlin kissing your hand right before heading into the elevator with a caption on how you two are the couple to watch in and out of the game.
"So they are calling us the couple to watch," you say as you hand the phone back to Cait.
"Looks like it," she says with a laugh. "I have no idea what that means."
"Honestly, neither do I but we will find out," you say as you lean over to give her a kiss.
Throughout both of your rookie seasons, the media watches you both closely. You because you have been on fire, consistently playing record-breaking games and carrying your team to victory, and Caitlin because she is changing the game.
Now that the two of you are closer, going to support each other has become much easier. Once Caitlin started in Indiana, she was at almost every one of your games - almost always supporting you from your manager's booth. You always joke with her that your manager loves her more than they do you. Every now and again she would be standing fieldside, out of the way of course. The media tore up any time she was standing on the field or seen talking with your manager. It would always be something about how Caitlin is such a great girlfriend coming out to support you. Or it would be how your GM has found a new person to watch their team with, having a picture attached with your GM and Caitlin laughing about something.
The posts and articles went both ways. You went to support Caitlin whenever you could which then put you in the spotlight. It was unexpected to both of you how much the media ate up your support for each other.
It was when you were watching an interview that Caitlin was in that it began to click.
"Caitlin - you are projected to be rookie of the year, how do you feel about that?" The interviewer asks.
"I think it's pretty awesome," she responds with a smile. "Just like the work I have put in during my college career to get here, I have put in the work this season to be up for rookie of the year."
"Well, it is quite impressive, if I must say," the interviewer compliments your girlfriend. "But what is also impressive is that your girlfriend is also up for rookie of the year."
Caitlin just smiles and nods. She could say a lot (she will rarely brag about herself but when it came to you, she could talk up a storm) but just sits and nods. To everyone watching - it was a proud girlfriend moment.
"Seeing you go and support each other at games, getting the posts of your post-game meals with one another, and all the talk about how each of your teammates has become great friends with you and her, you have become the ultimate power couple in the sports world." Caitlin doesn't blush easily but she’s blushing now. "How has becoming this power couple affected your relationship?"
"Well it is kind of funny - neither Y/n nor I have really seen much of what has been going on in the media with any of it," Caitlin says.
It was true - the two of you tried your best to stay out of looking into the media like that. You knew it wouldn't affect your relationship in the slightest but never really cared for what other people said about the two of you. Outside of supporting each other during games the two of you led a pretty private relationship.
"Well let me show you a slim snippet of what the fans are saying," the interviewer says as they start flashing photos of you on the screen. "There are endless fan edits of the two of you while you are watching each other games. What really got me was finding a fan account that has been following the two of you since your college years."
Pictures of the two of you from their account started flying across the screen. Photos going back in time - it was a neat way to reminisce on the past and how far you have come.
At the end of the slideshow is a picture from when you played in your final home game for your high school - senior night. It was a picture of you and two other girls heading to the captain's meeting in the middle of the field. In the photo, it is you and your co-captains looking down but if you looked over to the crowd - there is Caitlin, front row with some of her friends there to watch you play.
Caitlin remembers the moment as if it was yesterday. She debated going to that game for weeks before it happened. She didn't tell you she was coming to your senior night but brought you flowers and she gave them to you afterward. That was the night that you had Caitlin falling even harder than before - getting so excited when you saw her. Causing her heart to leap out of its chest when you dropped all of your stuff to pick her up and spin he around. Her stomach filled with butterflies and her cheeks turned a deep pink - the first time you made her blush.
"Yep, that's me," she says with a laugh, turning even more red than before. "You could say we were fans of each other long before we started dating.'
"Well, that is the cutest thing!" The interviewer says with such excitement. "We are all rooting for the two of you and can't wait to watch you both as you progress in your careers."
Later that night, you call Cait. She picks up the phone immediately.
"I know, I know," she says, already knowing what you are going to say.
"You are too cute when you blush," you say with a little laugh.
"Ugh stop babe," she says laughing as well. "Did you hear when they called us the ultimate power couple?"
"I did," you say full-on laughing now. "It is crazy to see how many people are invested in our relationship."
You hear her hum in agreement, but she doesn't say anything.
"Hey babe, is everything okay?" You ask, worried that this is all starting to get to her. You know Caitlin doesn't follow the media like that but you wouldn't blame her if she fell down the rabbit hole after that interview. I mean, you did.
It wasn't intentional but after you watch the interview, curiosity got the best of you and you started looking at some accounts. Most of it was sweet - pictures and comments of how the world is cheering you on but with being in the spotlight more, there were also more people who used the platform to tear you down. It really didn't affect either of you - at least when people talked about yourselves. But you knew when people start talking bad about you on her posts, she gets caught up in her head about how hateful the world can be.
It takes her a minute but after what feels like a lifetime, she responds.
"You are the most incredible woman I have ever had the privilege of knowing," she starts, causing your heart to swell. She begins to stumble on her words. "I - just thank you." She says. "Thank you for being so amazing not only to me but to the world. I can't wait until you begin your off-season and move here with me so we can finally be together. Then when you go back, and I am off, I will come and live with you and everything will be right in the world and we will get a dog and start planning our wedding and both be living out our dreams."
She pauses and you take a sharp inhale. The two of you haven't really talked about marriage - if you were being honest, you had no idea that was even on Caitlin's radar. It was on yours but you never wanted to rush her.
"What was that last part?" You ask slowly.
"Us living out our dreams?" She asks, knowing it is not what you are talking about.
"No right before that..." you say as it feels like time has stopped. The only other time you have felt this with her is the first game you played against her. She had been one of the only other players who could keep up to you and you let her know that after. Whispering the compliment in her ear and watching her react to your touch had stopped time for you.
"Start planning our wedding...?" Caitlin says extremely slowly. You are hooked on every single word she says as she repeats that.
"Caitlin Clark, are you asking me to marry you?" You say jokingly but also dripping with genuine interest.
"You are just going to have to wait to find out," she says and you can hear the smirk that has grown on her face.
Little did you know that Caitlin already had the ring. She knew she was going to marry you after you picked her up and spun her around on your senior night. It only solidified when the two of you started dating in college and were there to support one another during your sporting events but also just with life in general. Having you by her side wasn't an option. You pushed her to be better than she could have ever imagined. You brought her out of her head when no one else could. You let her be herself unapologetically and she couldn't imagine a more perfect person.
"Well just know, if you get down on one knee at either of our award ceremonies, I will say no." You say, trying to play it cool when your heart is beating faster than it does on the field.
Caitlin laughs and you join in, longing for the days when you can have these conversations face to face.
AN: I hope this does the request justice. Please let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for the love and support 🤍
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littlestarconch · 2 months
Text
Sense of Longing
Pairing : Xavier , Zayne , Rafayel x Reader
→ Hurt/Comfort ; Headcanon form ; Separate ; Established Relationship
🪄 :: Cruel 😭 , Now I feel guilty for even thinking about leaving.
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Xavier
Literally turning the world upside down trying to find you.
Sleeping away his desires.
Sometimes he would even hallucinate that you're in front of him.
There are days where he dreamt about you, but then he woke up— making him felt even more lonelier than before.
Fighting wanderers even more aggressively due to his mind is only filled with you, who did not respond to his texts, nor read them!
It left him devastated, though he may not show them physically.
But his actions are getting more and more reckless each day that passes without you.
There are also times where he got injured because of this recklessness.
And you know what he did? He left it as it is, just letting it heal by 'itself'.
Your return— feels unreal for him
It feels like it's a dream, he was sleeping like usual, but hearing your voice woke him up.
It took him a good minute to realize he's not dreaming.
He would talk to you like how he usually is in his dreams, that is until he felt your warmth on his skin.
He stared at you, his hand unconsciously reached out to your arms.
When he' sure enough that it's actually you— be prepared because he will pull you into his arms.
Heavens! He will refuse to let go even! You have to push him away if you want to breathe.
But I believe y'all won't push him away.
Ever since your return, your first week is filled with Xavier just clinging onto you everywhere you go.
Not quite literally, but you get me.
Sleeping, with you in his arms, is a must.
If not, he will not be able to go to sleep.
Also please comfort him, he had been sleep deprived ever since the day you left without saying anything </3
He longed to be comforted in your arms, feeling your fingers running through his hairlocks.
He longed for listening to your heartbeat, listening to your voice.
He missed them, too much that it hurts.
He didn't realize how much he missed you until you appeared again in front of him.
Zayne
Working.
Doing his thing like usual, though, he will unconsciously look over his phone to see the long waited notification from a certain someone.
When he did not see anything, he, felt quite, weird at first.
Is it worry? Is it sadness? What is it??
At first he will simply shook the feeling away.
But he will no longer able to ignore them after a week have passed.
A week without any news from you left him confused and worried.
He will also not show this feeling, he is literally so stoic no one would be able to figure out he's actually missing you.
Even he, himself, didn't realize he missed you.
He buried himself in his work, staying up late. Even went as far as pulling an all nighter.
There are days where he accidentally fell asleep in his office due to the lack of sleep he gets.
He will still, unconsciously look over his phone to see if there's anything news coming from you despite him burying himself in work.
Other doctors and nurses is definitely worried about him, he had not left the hospital for a long time.
They literally had to send him home to make him go take a proper rest.
Since your disappearance, he would try do things that you usually do.
But everytime he did so, his mind wander off to the memory of being together with you.
Your smile, your voice, your touch.
He missed them.
A lot.
And he is well aware of how much he needed to see your smile, to hear your voice, to feel your touch once more.
Your return— made him want to immediately pull you into his arms and never let you go.
Upon seeing you in front of him, he wanted to just engulf you into his hold, and just stay like that till he let go and probably will be more than 30 minutes.
But he kept the feeling down by checking if you have any injuries while you were gone.
If you confirm there are no injuries, he will let out his desperation.
Of how much he missed you, slowly approaching you.
His hand on your waist, pulling you closer. His other hand brushed against the lines of your cheek.
Do the same to him, holding his face with both of your hands.
You will see how he just melt into your hold, kissing your palm as he pulled you even closer to him.
Soon he finally engulfed you into his arms, burying his face to the crook of your neck.
Whispering how much he missed you.
Make sure you spare some time for him now, because he will not let you go.
Rafayel
Good God.
He is very worried. Like literally. But on the first week, he would be quite grumpy of how you're not even reading his messages.
But after 2 weeks of no news from his favorite bodyguard turned his angry thoughts to worry.
He had stopped painting after a week have passed without any texts coming from your side.
His mind could not think of any inspiration, all he could think about is just,
Where are you? Are you hurt?
So many thoughts coming through his mind, but he tried to push them off by telling himself that you can handle yourself without any help from him.
But even so, that did not calm his mind at all.
There are days where he went to the beach at late night.
Watching the seas as his mind wanders off thinking about you.
The studio felt so cramped despite the large size, is it because of the messiness in it?
He refuses to clean up the mess, since he thought that no one will come to visit anyway.
You are literally just, disappeared without a trace, and not even saying a single word to him.
It left him devastated.
He is not aware how much he missed you, he thought that he can handle by being himself like how he used to be.
But you proofed him wrong.
Your return— made him realize how much he missed you.
He couldn't even get angry at you because of how much he longed to see you.
Hearing your voice alone washes the worry away and replaced them with relief.
If you ever ask about him being angry, he will immediately say he's not.
He couldn't.
Not when this feeling of longing overtakes him.
He wants to hold you, and will ask if he can hold you.
Once he gets a yes, he will pull you into his arms.
And let out a shaky breath, feeling you in his arms felt surreal for him.
Hearing your voice, feeling your warmth engulfed his figure.
He realized how much he needed this.
The world no longer colored in grey, the colors have returned, along with his inspiration.
Everything has gone back to it's place, because his muse have returned into his arms.
©littlestarconch
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🪄 :: This is messed up bro 😔
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shippyo · 1 month
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@kirbyoctournament
Introducing to you all,the only one and unique....
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Personality
She is extremely calm, she never seems to be bothered by anything, she is kind as much as she can be capable of saying something cruel, like life itself is, she always seems patient, because for her anything is ephemeral, even herself, but she will always be open to a conversation, she will advise you and will try to give her point of view about herself, always in a respectful manner.
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Powers
Life is ironically capable of taking life from other beings, to reincarnate them into a new being with her mere hands, usually looking like butterflies like her first daughter Morpho Knight.
She is capable to cast divine-looking lights,usually looks like a swarm of butterflies, although she won't attack in 99,9% of the times but the hundreds of her children will defend her.
Its mere presence is calming but its true form is unknown to common sense and if someone dared to see the beauty of life in its entirety, the impact it would have on your consciousness would be devastating, but with it, who knows, maybe it would be able to restore the unimaginable at the cost of resting for eons.
Life is capable of teleporting to any place in any universe, she never chooses a specific place, it enjoys walking and you can see her in the most beautiful fields of flowers or in the cruelest wars, you can consider yourself lucky to witness her, because it is practically a miracle.
And never mess with something beyond your comprehension cause only death can end all what she is.
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Canon characters she knows or knows that exist
Morpho
Her first daughter, before it was a different being who arrived by unknown means to the dimension of Life, she begged her not to send her to the afterlife, she didn't want that, the pain was so inmense due to her cruel Life that she just begged to stop existing, life, on the other hand, did something different and used its power for the first time in what became a being, completely new and at peace,Morpho has an unbreakable loyalty towards the being she now calls "mother"
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Necrodeus
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"Someone I loved? Or do i still love?"
The void
A being from the void reemerges from the heart, all always in a different way like Kirby or Zero himself, as if they were children yet to determine their destiny inside their mother or heart in this case, Life does not know them directly, it only knows that they exist and for some reason, she loves them, she feels a maternal sensation as if all those beings had been part of her at some point, although she can't explain why.
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Lore
[this part might not be that extense but cropping to not cluster everything,enjoy💖]
Once life was reborn, but before that, there was a life before, yes, a time when everything was different.
Once there was a woman in whom a new life was generated inside her, all on her wedding day on an now unknown place, butterflies fluttering, next to her pure white bone dress, walking towards who would be her husband, everything was complete happiness everything seemed to never end but...
At one point, when the husband was about to put the ring on the lady that would seal their love, something trembled and out of nowhere, everything broke into stardust, in the last seconds of pain and confusion, the lovers did not know that it was the end of everything known and unknown.
Life had died.
Or was it really like that?
Life woke up once again from...a dream? A nightmare? What was that even? Where was she now?
Is life really itself? She felt a pain that would gradually fade away along with the memory of what happened, at the same time another figure,the death itself also woke up where they were, they both looked at each other, they had never seen each other... like this?
But still they both felt a sense of nostalgia, something empty in them throbbed strongly, while memories of... themselves? or something that seemed like the they that they are now joined in their confused memories
" know you."
"But who were you?"
"Were we them? But who were we supposed to be?"
"Now, what are we?"
They both said, but neither could give an accurate answer.
And it didn't matter anymore.
A new everything emerged from nothing and they were part of that everything.
Life and death separated each one on their own for a long time searching, trying to know what they had to do, what it all meant, who those beings were.
until, one day after eons they met again to conclude that everything was nothing.
Nothing had meaning other than existing.
Nothing they could have experienced was eternal, they both came to the conclusion that everything would die to become a new whole again.
From their past memories they concluded that this was just a new phase in an eternal cycle without explanation, in which life would return only for death itself in its last seconds to kill her so that all of life would re-emerge as a new one when it was about to end and NEVER be the same as before.
And that couple, it may or may not have been them, it didn't matter, because they are no longer those entities and this will happen again and again, they are merely a new version of themselves of those they were and will be in the future.
It didn't make sense, nor did they both want that cruel fate, it's confusing, it's unfair,death even cried out of mere frustration.
But there was no escape, no being could escape it.
After this, now both beings try to find a filling for the void in their hearts, death wandering throught any universe and cursing "the all" for this meaninglessness, while life, still almost always remaining in her own dimension, a blank world that is in everywhere and nowhere, sometimes descends to any world that reaches the imagination wandering through them to perhaps find her own the meaning of life.
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taexual · 23 days
Text
sleepwalking ● 24 | jjk
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pairing: jungkook x fem!reader
summary: due to unfortunate circumstances, you ended up managing your ex-boyfriend’s band. you thought you’ve both made peace with it, but suddenly he’s very eager to prove to you that first love never dies.
genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers
warnings: mentions of drugs (not graphic), depictions of smoking, explicit language, SUGGESTIVE THEMES (jungkook is a teasing little shit, there's also a Shower Scene at the end), angst, fluff, SLOW BURN
words: 23k
read from the beginning ○ masterlist
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chapter 24 ► soon, you'll be nothing but a memory and i won't keep you company when everything falls apart for you
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When you woke up next to Jungkook on your final morning in London, the sun was already high, casting patterns shaped dangerously like his sleeping features on the walls of his hotel room.
You thought you had just closed your eyes two minutes ago, but you felt very well-rested, albeit not fully convinced that you were conscious yet. Jungkook was asleep next to you, your hands still locked together and your bodies so intertwined that it would take at least a few minutes for you to disengage from each other.
Naturally, you thought this was another one of those powerful dreams that would stay with you for the next few days after you woke up because of how much you wished it was real. But then you checked your phone, noticing several missed calls, and your mind finally sobered.
Jungkook stirred when he felt you reach for your phone, and he realised right away that your morning together had ended before it even began.
“I was hoping we’d sleep in,” he mumbled, startling you as you tried to quietly climb out of bed.
Your determination to start working melted at the sound of his groggy, somewhat uncertain voice, and you turned back. His eyes flickered open and met yours briefly before succumbing to heaviness again.
“It seems like we have, actually,” you said, lingering on the edge of the bed, and forgetting, almost, that the vibrating sound in the background of your focus came from your phone.
“It doesn’t count if we wake up and get out of bed right aw—” He paused to yawn, then rolled onto his back, looking at you through half-closed lids. “Sleeping in means we stay in bed, and—well, there are things we could do.”
He struggled to keep his eyes open—clearly, the only thing you’d do if you stayed in the room was actually sleep—but you couldn’t help but smile at his effort.
Just as you were about to respond, Jungkook pushed back the covers and your eyes drifted down to the angry red nail marks on his chest. He met your gaze and followed it downwards, raising his eyebrows before breaking into a grin.
“Hmm,” he mused. You already knew what his next words would be but couldn’t stop him in time. “These are exactly the things I was talking ab—”
“I know,” you finally cut in. “I figured.”
He returned his gaze to yours, cocking a tired eyebrow. “Yet you’re rushing out of bed?”
You lifted your phone and the display lit up with multiple notifications. He noticed, with his breath hitching enthusiastically in his throat, that your eyes were filled with regret. You didn’t want to go.
“Duty calls,” you said.
He looked away and muttered disdainfully, “I’m your duty.”
“Exactly,” you replied, smiling at the childish entitlement in his voice. “Your band is the reason I’m getting out of bed.”
You took your foot off the mattress and stood up properly, pausing as Jungkook groaned—deliberately, of course, to make you think he would say something else and have you stay in the room longer while you waited for him to speak.
To be perfectly honest, though, you didn’t linger in the room because you thought he still had something to say. You lingered because you wanted to stay here until you absolutely couldn’t anymore.
“Okay,” he finally said, looking up at you again. “I promise that our relationship won’t interfere with your career. But I really do wish you’d stayed with me for the rest of the morning.”
It took you considerable effort—and you would attribute this to professionalism when you inevitably started doubting yourself later—to resist the temptation to climb back into bed.
“I wish I could stay, too,” you said—firmly, so he wouldn’t try to persuade you, because you knew that he’d eventually succeed. “But I’ll see you after the show.”
“Before that,” he said.
You nodded. “If we have time.”
“No,” he disagreed immediately. “We’ll make time.”
Your smile grew with affection and warmth.
“Alright,” you said. “I’ll see you a little later then, yeah? Will you be alright for a few hours?”
He exhaled very theatrically. “I suppose I’ll live.”
“Good,” you leaned over the bed to press a soft kiss to his cheek, “I love you.”
He reached out to interlace your hands for just a second before you pulled away again, bringing your knuckles to his lips. “I love you.”
Reluctantly parting from his warmth, you finally left the room, and Jungkook whined quietly to himself before starting his day as well. He knew his uncontrollable yearning would drive him to the brink of insanity even before the band’s rehearsal later today, so he was desperate for company until then.
He took a quick shower, then crossed the corridor to Minjun’s room where Minjun was binge-watching Evangelion, and dragged him outside for a coffee and a cigarette.
It was a beautiful morning: a little cold, but unusually sunny after yesterday’s storm. The rain had quickly become his favourite scent, and Jungkook took a deep breath as it lingered in the air. It was laced with faint traces of wet grass, and there was something else, too. Something woody, yet light, with heavy undertones of you.
He and Minjun settled in the shade outside of the hotel. Jungkook lit his cigarette, then passed his lighter to his friend and looked around.
The garden behind him was impressive. He hadn’t noticed the peonies before, but as soon as he did, he remembered bringing bright pink and gently lilac bouquets for you before your dates. You didn’t have a favourite flower, but he’d discovered that peonies lasted the longest in your dorm room, so he continued to get them for you.
He realised with a sigh that having Minjun here wasn’t much of a distraction, not even when he brought up Sid. Everywhere he looked this morning, he still thought of you.
“Oh, shit!” Jungkook cried suddenly, pushing his cigarette to the corner of his mouth as he spoke. His exclaim distracted the two of them from an anxious discussion about all that had to happen today. “Look.”
Minjun looked at him first, then followed his gaze to the street, where a Volkswagen Beetle was driving by at an extraordinarily slow pace. He wasn’t sure if Jungkook was amused by the car model or its speed.
“Hmm?” he asked. “At the car?”
“Yeah,” Jungkook said, bouncing on the balls of his feet in excitement. “It’s the exact colour of her eyes.”
“Her eye—Jesus Christ,” Minjun groaned, nearly choking on the smoke of his cigarette. “Do you see what I’m doing right now?”
Jungkook did not tear his eyes away from the car as it inched closer to the intersection at the end of the street. “No offence, man, but I really couldn’t care le—”
“I am cringing,” Minjun informed him anyway. “You made me cringe.”
Jungkook continued to watch the Beetle with an alien fascination that Minjun could not understand. He thought that Jungkook looked as if he was reliving some sort of a dream, with this wistful, melancholy smile on his face—or he was stuck in an unfathomable, endless déjà vu.
“I’m serious, though,” Jungkook said after a moment, a deep exhilaration in his voice. “The exact colour.”
Minjun shook his head, half disbelieving, half resigned. He was not a doctor, and he would never claim to have any medical knowledge, but even his amateur eye could recognise lovesickness when he saw it.
“You are so fu—” he started to say, but did not get to the end of this diagnosis that, in his humble opinion, would have perfectly described the state that his friend was in right now.
Jungkook blew out the smoke with a heavy—and violent, too—groan, and it cut Minjun off. “I love her so much.”
“We know!” Minjun said, exasperated. His teeth dug into the filter of his cigarette. “We can tell. All of us. Now if you try to tell me that that cloud over there, above the hotel, kind of looks like her, I swear to God.”
“Please.” Jungkook scoffed but still glanced at the sky. “Clouds don’t look like—oh, you know what, maybe that one over there kind of does. When she wears her hair up, and—”
“I am going to slap you,” Minjun interjected, “if you don’t get yourself together right this second.”
The Beetle had finally turned on the left turn signal as it reached the end of the road next to the two of them. Jungkook lowered his eyes and smiled at the vehicle again.
“I’ve never felt more together,” he said, smoke passing through his lips.
“And I’ve never felt more like a third wheel,” Minjun retorted. “And it’s only you and me here.”
Jungkook grinned dreamily, following the car with his gaze.
“You’re not even listening to me, are you?” Minjun asked.
“Not really.”
He sighed and turned away. “Hmm. Of course not.”
The Beetle finally disappeared down the street and out of their sight. And now, with no new reminders of you in his immediate vicinity, Jungkook realised that he missed you too much to merely stand here, and that the company he had did not matter as long as it wasn’t you. He finished his cigarette in two quick drags and pulled out his phone.
Minjun knew exactly who he was texting without having to ask. And he certainly did not have to ask who had texted him back when his phone lit up not even ten seconds later.
You and Jungkook were both terrible—almost unbearable at this point, really—and Minjun was very glad that you had found your way back to each other. He didn’t think the world could have handled more of the two of you alone.
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When you arrived at the venue a few hours later to see Jimin before the band’s soundcheck, you ran into the members of the band outside. They’d gone out after their rehearsal and ended up right in the middle of a commotion outside the building.
The sight surprised you: crowds of people had gathered around the venue, chatting, waving and jumping as soon as they spotted the band. Although this was Rated Riot’s second show in London, it seemed as though twice as many people were queuing outside today.
You kept your distance but stayed to watch the beaming members stop occasionally for an autograph, a selfie, or a quick conversation as they made their way past their fans. You remained vigilant in case anyone in the crowd decided to cause trouble, although it didn’t seem likely. Everyone was just excited.
Just then, right before you got lost in the thrilled faces around you, you heard Jungkook gasp somewhere in the crowd.
Alarmed, you turned around to find him and caught Hoseok’s shocked expression over the back of Jungkook’s head. Someone had unexpectedly wrapped their arms around the vocalist in a very intense hug, taking him off guard. But Jungkook’s surprise quickly turned into appreciative laughter as he patted the person on the back and stepped away, nodding at something they were saying.
Their interaction seemed harmless, but a crowd began to gather around Jungkook and Hoseok, and you were worried about the people pushing each other. You reached for your phone in your jacket to call Mick and alert the security just to be safe, but paused when you overheard the conversation the boys were having with their fans.
“And good riddance!” someone was saying. “We saw that you guys banned Sid from your shows. We’re so glad you’re finally free.”
Excited shrieks of agreement rippled through the crowd. Jungkook turned his head to look at you, leaving Hoseok to handle the fans’ praise on his own while Yoongi and Taehyung signed autographs nearby. When you met Jungkook’s eye, the surprise on his face mirrored yours.
Maggie’s post had made the precise impact you’d hoped for; everyone had seen the blacklist.
We’re so glad you’re finally free.
It occurred to you that neither you, nor Jungkook, nor any of your friends had ever been truly alone with your hatred for Sid, because Sid hadn’t just messed with your lives. He’d messed with absolutely everyone around you. You assumed as much—he was insufferable—but hearing others reaffirm just how much they despised Sid still felt comforting. It felt energising, too.
You’d be finished with him today, finally.
Feeling reinvigorated, you informed Mick to keep an eye on the crowds and headed inside. Jimin had needed your help, but by the time you arrived, he’d already resolved the problem himself. He shuffled you out of the door instead, to fetch him some coffee for “being late to rescue me from the agony of toggling the amps on and off.”
Laughing, you walked back out, making a note to grab a few chocolate-chip cupcakes, too—for Seokjin, because he had looked dangerously pale and wide-eyed when you ran into him at the door as Jimin yelled out his coffee order at you.
You didn’t expect to see Jungkook until the end of his show later that night, and you felt another wondrous thrill in your stomach at the thought: this would all be over by then. You could finally stop dreading what awaited you next. Really, even your upcoming meeting with the lawyers from the label seemed like a walk in the park on a late spring afternoon compared to Sid. You almost couldn’t wait for it.
But then as soon as the band finished their soundcheck, Jungkook surprised you by sneaking into the dressing room where you were working on emails, your forgotten coffee already cold. He stood there, in the very middle of the room, grinning at you until you finally raised your head.
“Oh—shit,” you removed your earpods, “w-why are you here?”
He shrugged his shoulders. A few strands of his hair were stuck to his forehead; he looked as though he’d already performed the first half of the show instead of merely preparing for it.
“Wanted to check in,” he said. “You ready?”
He was asking about Sid, and you placed your laptop on the side table by the couch, making room for him next to you.
“Yeah,” you said. “Still got a few hours to go. Jude hasn’t called us yet, but we’re—we’ll be fine.”
Jungkook sat down next to you. He couldn’t remember the details well, but he assumed that Minjun and Jude had already left for their part of the plan. Now he was nervous to hear that their plan hadn’t even begun yet; what if Jude had a change of heart?
“Yeah?” he asked, despising how many tinges of uncertainty he heard in his own voice. “You sure?”
“Of course,” you said, glancing at the door before turning back to him. “Uh, listen, are you sure you can be here? You have an interview in ten minutes.”
He reclined on the couch and shrugged again.
“Well, I still have ten minutes,” he said. “The guys are busy with their instruments, but I’m good.”
You nodded, and the conversation came to an awkward halt. You wanted to steer the discussion away from Sid, but he was the elephant in the room and he had grown large enough to smother you.
“I’m, uh—I’m thinking,” Jungkook said after a minute, “what if the plan doesn’t work? I know we said we’d do something else, but—I mean, what if the police don’t arrive in time, and Sid senses the trap?”
You hoped it wouldn’t come to that, because there was nothing else you could do to get rid of Sid in the immediate future. If he realised that something was wrong tonight, he’d never lower his guard like this again.
“I—well, I have a Plan B,” you said.
Jungkook was surprised. “Yeah? What’s that?”
You turned away. Really, you did not have any backup plans. You just wanted to stop Jungkook from biting into his lip ring before he ripped it off.
“Remember how we talked about you visiting me in jail?” you said, keeping a straight face. “I’ll just—”
He groaned. “You’re not going to kill Sid.”
“Why not?” you moaned and your exaggerated tone finally elicited a chuckle from him.
“Because I need you with me,” he said.
“Maybe we can make it seem like someone else did it,” you continued, encouraged by the amusement in his eyes. “Is there anyone else you hate as much as him?”
He shook his head. “No one comes even close.”
“Hmm.” You nodded thoughtfully. “Maybe if I just beat him up really bad, but don’t actually kill him, they won’t lock me up for long?”
He was grinning. “You’re not beating him up.”
“I’d be willing to do it for the band, you know.”
“Oh, for the band,” he echoed, draping an arm over the cushion behind you. “Romantic. Makes me feel real special.”
He seemed much more relaxed now than when he first came here, and your heart remembered how to beat again at the sight of his smile.
“Look,” you said, raising your hands, “I even wore extra rings today, for a more long-lasting effect.”
He snorted as you showed him the jewellery on your fingers, and placed his hand on yours, bringing it down to your knee.
“You’re not beating him up,” he reiterated.
“Come on,” you pressed on as he locked his fingers with yours. “You knocked out his tooth, so I have to do something similar. Otherwise, it’s just embarrassing. The girls will never let me live this down if I don’t land one good punch.”
Jungkook started to chuckle—the image of your sharp skull-shaped ring leaving a mark on Sid’s cheek was very satisfying—but then your words sunk in, and his expression soured.
“Wait,” he said, leaning forward and furrowing his brows, “the girls are in on this?”
You frowned in response to his frown.
“Of course, they are,” you replied. “Why are you surprised?”
“I mean,” he looked away, assessing your friends in his mind, “I’m not surprised about Maggie. But isn’t Luna usually more practical in these situations?”
“She’s practical until she’s had enough,” you said. “And she’s had enough.”
“Ah,” he said, leaning back and looking down at your intertwined hands.
He appeared to be considering something as his thumb gently traced the side of your index finger, and you got a frightening thought that you could take down a lot more assholes than just Sid—you could even tie them up and keep them in some mouldy basement—if it meant that Jungkook could sit next to you, humming peacefully under his breath as he held your hand in his.
It dawned on you just then that he wasn’t just your weakness, he was your everything. And you loved him so much that it was dangerous.
“Well,” he finally said, “if I have Taehyung and Rue with me, it might be more fun to visit the three of you in prison. We could make a little road trip out of it.”
You laughed, leaning into him as you did, and he realised that he really only had very few worries left—and none of them were about Sid.
“That’s the spirit!” you said. “I’ll see you in the courtroom.”
He released your hand, so he could wrap an arm around your shoulders and pull you into his chest.
“No, you won’t,” he said, planting a kiss on your temple. His heart stuttered through a few clumsy beats when you leaned into him again, resting your hand on his chest. “I love you.”
You raised your head to meet his gaze, and he realised he was wrong before. The Beetle outside the hotel wasn’t the exact colour of your eyes, not really. But his heart was; it soaked up the shades of your touch and painted itself after you.
“I love you,” you said. “But you have to go back to your band.”
He ignored that and leaned in to touch your lips with his. The quick kiss unexpectedly turned deeper—really, he had no say in that, his impulse control lived a life of its own lately—when he moved his head and tasted the caramel from your coffee on your tongue.
You knew you were on a tight schedule, but you found yourself giving in to him for just a moment. You brought one of your hands to the side of his face, and you felt, right away, what your touch did to him. Jungkook shifted on the couch to reach you better, his kisses growing more urgent, more eager, more impossible and even impractical—and that wasn’t fair, because, with his mouth against yours, there was nothing more meaningful than this in the world.
You pulled back, breathless, but with a smile that imprinted itself right in his mind, and Jungkook nodded, understanding the look in your eyes.
“Right,” he murmured, standing up before he lost his resolve. “I have places to be. Things to do. Would help a lot if I knew what places and what things those were, but, uh—I’ll figure it out.”
Your laughter was light and absolutely captivating. “Maybe your band can help with that?”
“Right,” he said. “My band.”
He lingered, scanning the walls and appearing lost in thought, and your chest was so full from simply being in the same room with him that you couldn’t tell him to go again. Slowly, you stood from the couch and your movement snapped him back to reality. He turned to face you and swallowed before speaking.
“Come find me as soon as the police leave with Sid’s ass,” he said.
“If our plan works, you’ll be in the middle of the encore,” you reminded him.
“You don’t have to jump on the stage,” he said. “Just give me a signal or something.”
“What kind of a signal?”
Your question wasn’t entirely serious, but Jungkook took it very seriously.
“A massive banner,” he decided, “saying ‘we’re free.’”
The image of the fans outside the venue crossed your mind again, and you felt yourself smile. You were certain they would have appreciated the banner as well.
“Hmm. Not very classy, though,” you said.
“When was I ever classy?” he countered. He looked about ready to demonstrate his lack of refinement, and you cut in before he could give any examples to support his claim.
“Alright,” you said. “I’ll just come to the side of the stage and give you a nod, yeah? Then you’ll know we did it.”
You placed a hand on his shoulder as you spoke, and, naturally, he agreed with everything you said.
“Okay,” he replied. “That’s good enough.”
“Yeah?”
“Mmhm. Just be careful,” he added, and you noted with disappointment that his casual demeanour had returned to a more serious tone. “Don’t let him get under your skin.”
You already missed the ease in his voice, and it made you regret that the two of you were in a situation where you could only speak lightly at short intervals before inevitably returning to what awaited you. You could not wait to never bring up Sid again.
“I won’t,” you said. “That spot’s reserved for you.”
His face immediately brightened, and you found yourself mirroring his expression. He stepped closer to you, the shimmering in his eyes fervent enough to send sparks to your chest.
“Hmm.” He reached out to run his fingers over the edge of your jaw. “What other spot is reserved for me?”
You scowled but did not pull away from his touch. “I’ll consider answering that when you sound less like a frat boy.”
He grinned, not the least bit discouraged. “Keeping me on my toes. I like that.”
“You have to go,” you replied, suppressing your smile so as not to encourage him. “The rest of the band is about to start their interview. Yoongi will have your head.”
“Kiss me and I’ll go,” he replied, his voice softer now that his face was so close to yours.
“Oh,” you snickered despite yourself, “we’re not doing that again.”
“We won’t have to if you kiss me.”
You shook your head and gave him a warning look—but then you closed the distance between you anyway. You’ve learnt your lesson from the last time at the park, and there was no point in arguing anyway; it was just you and him here, and you were rapidly running out of time.
Your lips were overwhelmingly soft and he relaxed into your touch in a way that he only could if you were as close to him as you were now. But you pulled back all too soon.
“Go now,” you whispered—not meaning it at all. You tried again, but your words had even less conviction this time, “go.”
He heard you but refused to pull away, his lips finding yours for just one more kiss.
“I’m going,” he murmured, turning every syllable into a slow, gentle caress. “Good luck.”
“You, too,” you replied, slowly pulling back and stopping his heart for a split-second when you reached over to move a strand of his hair from his face. “We’ll be okay.”
Jungkook nodded and stepped back reluctantly. As he made his way towards the door, some unseen force suddenly tugged at his arm, and he stopped. Pivoting on his heel, he returned to you to press another quick kiss to your amused lips—the last last one—before finally tearing himself away from you.
Closing the door of the dressing room behind himself, he abruptly remembered an ancient legend that his grandmother had told him—about Orpheus and Eurydice. And he knew, without any doubt whatsoever, that if he had to walk away from you without looking back so that the two of you could live, you would both perish.
He would always turn back to look at you one last time.
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Rated Riot proceeded with their scheduled interviews in the waiting area backstage, leaving you to find another quiet corner, away from the intriguing “most likely to…” discussion that the boys were having right now (just as you walked past them, Taehyung and Jungkook broke into a sudden arm-wrestling competition for reasons that eluded you and the journalist, both).
With about an hour remaining until the doors opened, you managed to email back about half of the people in your inbox. That was how Minjun found you: rocking gently back and forth on the couch at the end of the dimly lit corridor, your laptop balanced on your knees.
“Jude’s here,” he announced, and you felt a dizzying sense of déjà vu before you looked up.
He’s said these exact words to you before. But he seemed far more composed this time, and it soothed your anxiety as you closed your laptop and set it aside.
“Yeah?” you asked, not quite ready to get up just yet.
“Mhmm,” Minjun confirmed. “He said that Sid’s passed out right now, he was out the whole night. Jude’s done everything we asked, and he brought Sid’s phone here with him for us to double-check. I’ve already looked through it, everything’s gone. He, um—he still wants to see you, though.”
“Oh.” You did not like that Sid’s phone was here, and your discomfort finally pushed you to stand up. “That was—that’s good. But what if Sid wakes up while Jude’s here?”
“I know,” Minjun agreed, glancing at his phone to check the time as if he had a timer set for how long Sid would stay asleep. “We have to be quick.”
With a silent nod, you followed Minjun as he led you to an empty dressing room, much larger than the broom closet where he had put Jude last time.
Jude greeted you with an awkward “hi” as soon as he saw you. His voice sounded even smaller in the big room. He looked small, too, but brighter now, more vibrant.
It was his eyes, you realised. He seemed excited.
“Hey,” you replied and noticed quickly that your voice was small, too. “H-how are you feeling?”
Jude’s expression suddenly shifted to one of deep thought. You took note of his trembling hands when he lifted Sid’s phone.
“Nervous,” he admitted. “I brought this for you to see for yourself.”
He extended the phone towards you. You trusted Minjun when he said he’d checked it, but Jude seemed to be seeking your approval as well. You took the device from him, and he informed you that the passcode was “six sixes,” which you found very fitting for the devil incarnate.
You unlocked it, then tapped on the gallery and scrolled through the standard, abstract art images pre-installed on every phone. The generic bright colours were all you found here.
Feeling your heart rate increase already, you opened his Cloud storage. It greeted you with a message that, at this point, could have easily become the title of Rated Riot’s next album: “iCloud Drive is Empty.”
“Okay, that—uh, w-we’re nervous, too, by the way,” you said, your thoughts jumbled as you handed the phone back to Jude. Minjun’s smile widened when your eyes flickered to his; your plan was going smoothly so far. “This is—you did a great job, Jude.”
Jude’s face nearly began to glow. You shrank back, finding his beaming expression discomfiting. It did not look unnatural per se; it just looked misplaced—like someone else’s smile got lost and took temporary shelter on his face.
“I, uh,” he fumbled in the pocket of his jacket, “I also grabbed this.”
He pulled out a set of keys, and you only needed half of a glance to know that they belonged to Jungkook’s Katana. You turned to Minjun again, but he shook his head. Jude hadn’t told him about this.
“Sid had them in his jacket,” Jude explained. “Could you give them to Jungkook?”
You hesitated for another minute before you took the keys from him. And you remembered, suddenly, the first time you’d seen Jungkook with his bike: you were already working together at that point, and he’d arrived on it for a meeting at the company.
He had treated the bike with such care as he showed it to you and the band at the end of the day, almost as if it were a part of him, and Yoongi had pointed out how typical this was. How men—not Yoongi, though, he insisted—constantly grew too attached to their bikes, how they cherished them more than significant others. So, you had jokingly asked Jungkook if the Katana was the love of his life, too. And he’d responded, without missing a single beat, that it wasn’t. That you were.
He’d said it with a smug grin, so, of course, you assumed he was just teasing—because, in your defence, he often was—and you rolled your eyes and didn’t think much of it. But now, holding the keys to his bike that he’d given up, you accepted, finally, that he’d meant it, even back then.
“You did—you didn’t have to get them,” you told Jude, surprised to find yourself breathless.
“I wanted to,” he said. “We’re getting back at Sid.”
You exchanged another glance with Minjun. The two of you had worried that Jude would change his mind once he saw Sid again, but you’d clearly underestimated his desire to finally break free.
“That’s right,” Minjun said. “We are. You’ll, uh—you’ll have to go back to the hotel. Take his phone back to him.”
“I know,” Jude replied, slipping back into his role of a follower. “And then?”
Minjun looked at you, indicating for you to continue. You bit your lip, searching for the right tone to say this. You knew you were putting Jude in a direct line of fire, and you felt a little guilty because you weren’t sure if he even realised it.
“Wait until I call Sid,” you said. You put the keys in your pocket and crossed your arms. “And, I guess, after Sid leaves, let Minjun into his suite. I assume you have the key?” Jude nodded; Sid was passed out, he had no problem grabbing his room key along with his phone. “Minjun will do the rest, but you can—you could help him. We’d appreciate that.”
Jude appeared delighted. He craved appreciation, and you could tell that he received it very rarely.
“I’ll help,” he decided.
For a minute, it seemed like your conversation had ended. But Jude swayed lightly on his feet and played with his fingers, evidently gathering strength for something more.
“By the way,” he finally said, “um, there are cameras in the hotel.”
A quick new surge of anxiety washed over you, and you turned to Minjun, who looked about as stunned as you felt.
“I thought—I thought it was an old hotel,” you said, not quite accusingly but not very gently, either. Your shock prevented you from softening your voice. “Like ours. Ours doesn’t—it doesn’t even have elevators. It barely has bathrooms.”
Minjun felt guilty. He was the one who had assured you not to worry about the cameras. He knew that Sid preferred his accommodation to lack modern inventions—it helped him evade security when he brought questionable companions and dangerous refreshments to his hotel room every other night.
“I thought that’s the sort of place Sid would choose,” Minjun explained apologetically. “He doesn’t like cameras, for understandable reasons.”
“Well, th-they have cameras in the lobby,” Jude said. “And in the corridors. I noticed them when I was coming over here. I don—I don’t know what you wanted to do in Sid’s room, but it—there are cameras at all entrances. Sorry.”
The cameras were obviously not his fault, but you could see how flustered he became to have delivered the news that brought the dark clouds to this room.
“It’s—fuck, it’s not good,” you said, grateful that Jude had gained an impressive awareness of his surroundings seemingly overnight, but still anxious, nonetheless.
Your initial idea was to get Sid arrested and hope that the police would get to his hotel suite eventually. But then Minjun convinced you that he needed to check Sid’s room in advance, and it turned into an important part of your plan.
He insisted that Sid might have hidden the drugs, and he wanted to make them more noticeable for the police to find—in case Sid would bribe the officers, and they didn’t feel like searching through the whole room. Minjun figured that if the police saw questionable white powder as soon as they opened the door, easily visible to any curious onlooker, they couldn’t easily clear Sid of this.
You weren’t sure if Minjun’s idea would be considered tampering with evidence, because the evidence was, technically, already there, but you were uncomfortable with it regardless. Minjun didn’t want to ask Jude to do this, because you didn’t yet know if you could fully trust him. But you didn’t want Minjun to do this, either, so naturally, the two of you had argued about this vehemently.
You felt like having another argument with him right this second.
“Minjun, uh,” you said, “could I speak to you outside for a moment? Jude, would you excuse us?”
“Oh, yeah, of course,” Jude replied easily. You did not want to leave him here instead of sending him back to Sid to return his phone, but you had no other choice—Minjun was already looking for a way around the hotel cameras.
He followed you out of the room, a little puzzled. You stopped at the very end of the corridor, in front of a dusty floor-to-ceiling window, and looked around to make sure you were here alone. People were talking inside nearby rooms, so you leaned closer and lowered your voice when you spoke.
“Alright,” you said, nibbling on your bottom lip, “I don’t think you should go to Sid’s hotel. I think we should let Jude handle it.”
“What?” Minjun replied, clearly frazzled. “I thought we were involving him as little as possible.”
“We were,” you said. “But if we don’t involve him right now, then we have to involve you, and—”
“But I said I’ll do it,” he retorted, his whispers wild. “I said I’ll go to his room and check. That was the pl—”
“Right,” you cut him off. “But we didn’t know there’d be cameras. It’s a small hotel. Even if no one notices you there, they might notice you in the footage.”
Minjun’s solution to this was so quick that it made you wonder if he had thought of this several days in advance.
“Sid’s room is on the third floor,” he said. “I reckon I could climb up there from the second-floor balcony.”
“And how would you reach the second-floor balcony?” you shot back equally as quickly. “You’d have to cross the lobby to enter the hotel either way.”
He thought about it for a second longer and came up with what he personally thought was another great idea. “Maybe there are rain pipes?”
You gave him a long look.
“Minjun,” you said. “You’re not Spiderman.”
He groaned and stepped back to lean against the wall. “Fuck, I’m just—”
“Come on, Minjun,” you urged, growing desperate. “It’s not worth the risk. We have to ask Jude to do this for us. He’s staying at the same hotel anyway. It makes sense for him to be there.”
He turned to look out the window. He didn’t like this. He wanted to be sure. He wanted Sid to get burnt, not merely grazed. And, he supposed, he wanted to be the one who set him on fire.
But, logically, Minjun knew that the only reason he would have to go to that hotel, would be if you still couldn’t trust Jude.
Jude had just brought you Sid’s phone to show you that he’d done all that you’d asked. He brought Jungkook’s keys, too. He told you about the cameras. He was on your side.
Minjun exhaled. It didn’t make sense for him to go there.
“Fine,” he said. “Alright. Fine. Let’s—tell Jude to spread Sid’s shit around after Sid leaves to see you.”
Your heart rate picked up, but you tried to subdue your relief. You still had a long day ahead of you.
“Yes,” you said, turning around. “Okay. Let’s—let’s go back.”
The two of you returned to the dressing room where Jude was still waiting in the same exact spot where you’d left him. He had seemingly occupied himself with watching the walls while you were gone, but the creaking of the door returned his attention to you.
“Everything okay?” he asked.
“Yes, uh—just a quick change of plans,” you said, while despondent Minjun closed the door behind you. “We’re, um... going to ask you to do something else for us.”
Jude straightened and nodded. He looked this close, you thought, to giving you a military salute.
“Anything,” he said.
You glanced at Minjun before continuing. You knew he wasn’t pleased with this change of plans, so you appreciated the reassurance in his eyes even more. He may have been unhappy, but he was on your side.
“After I call Sid, and he leaves,” you said, turning back to Jude, “do you think it’d be possible for you to enter Sid’s room without being noticed by the cameras?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Our suites are at the end of the corridor, bit of a blind spot. The camera faces the staircase.”
“Okay,” you said, taking a deep breath. “Then go to his room as soon as he leaves, and make sure that—”
“The rest of his chalk?” Jude cut in. “I should bring it out of his suitcases, right?”
Minjun turned to you, his eyebrows raised. Jude had never been quick, for as long as Minjun had known him, but his dedication to getting rid of Sid was remarkable. He seemed to have figured out the details of your plan on his own.
Minjun gestured for you to proceed. You’ve decided to trust Jude and there was no way back now.
“Yes,” you said. “It—that’s exactly what you should do. Make sure it’s in plain sight. Not necessarily all of it, just a bag or two—or whatever he keeps it in—so the officers would see it right away. We’re sure Sid will use any means necessary to make the police think we’re framing him, so they might be neglectful. You would help ensure that they do a thorough search of his suite. You’d show them that he’s guilty.”
Jude’s eyes glittered. Minjun was very impressed by your ability to choose the precise words that Jude wanted to hear.
“But don’t touch the bags directly,” he added, and Jude redirected his attention to his friend. “Wear gloves or use a plastic bag to pick them up and throw them around the room.”
You nodded, agreeing, and Jude reflexively nodded, too.
“Okay,” he said, ever as obedient. “I’ll do that.”
“And are we sure that Sid will bring some of his stuff with him here?” you asked, glancing at them both. It would be disastrous if the one time Sid decided to leave his drugs at home would be today.
Minjun was the one to answer you.
“Yeah, he carries his shit with him everywhere,” he said. “If not in his jacket, then in his jeans. He’ll have it.”
Jude raised his eyebrows with the same enthusiasm as before.
“I can check that, too,” he offered. “If he—if it’s in his jacket. If it’s easy to find.”
Minjun turned to you again. Right away, he recognised the distress on your face—not only were you relying on Jude for half of your plan, but you were also putting him at risk. You felt awful. Minjun did, too. But he hated Sid with enough passion to ignore his discomfort.
“Okay,” Minjun took over. “That sounds good. Check his jacket, too, if you get a chance.”
You turned your uneasy gaze back to Jude. You almost expected him to demand something in exchange for helping you, but he kept nodding his head, not saying anything.
He would do this for you because you asked him to. That was how Sid kept him around for so long: by giving orders that Jude felt compelled to follow.
“I’m—thank you, Jude,” you said. “You’re doing a great job. And we don’t want you to go through anything that Sid will have to go through, okay? So, be careful.”
Jude swallowed and nodded once more.
“Yeah,” he said. “I’ll take his phone to him and wait for your call. After he leaves, I will check his hiding spots and bring his stash out. I’ll be careful.”
You shivered at the decisiveness of his tone. You knew that you weren’t playing a prank on Sid, you were actively conspiring against him—but hearing Jude repeat the details of your plan back to you made this feel much more significant. Much more real.
“Yes,” you said. “And leave immediately after, okay? Check out of the hotel.”
“I’ll come meet you a few blocks away,” Minjun inserted. “You can stay in my room at our hotel.”
Jude gave another nod of agreement. The anxiety rising in your stomach was starting to make it difficult for you to breathe.
“Jude,” you said, “you’re doing—you’re a great help to us. I know we’re all a team now, but still. We really appreciate it.”
Jude smiled, and this time, his smile did not look misplaced. It matched the light in his eyes, even if it wasn’t quite sure what it was doing on his face.
“Thanks,” he said. “We’re a team. I—I’m going to go now.”
“Good luck,” you said. “We’ll see you later.”
The moment the door closed and Jude’s quiet footsteps faded down the corridor, you crossed your arms and met Minjun’s exhausted sigh with a similar one of your own.
“Well,” Minjun began, “it looks like we’ll have to rely on Jude a lot more than we originally thought.”
You sighed again. “Yeah. I mean, he seems alright.”
He did seem alright. But Minjun felt an itch under his skin, and he couldn’t make it go away no matter how much he scratched and stretched.
“I still want to go in there,” he said, “and make sure we’re really good to go.”
This alarmed you; you thought you’d already decided to let Jude handle Sid’s suite.
“But—”
“No, listen,” he cut in, “Jude said Sid’s room is in a blind spot. So, how would anyone know which room I entered, even if they did see me in the lobby? Maybe I’m visiting someone else.”
“But why draw attention to yourself?” you argued. “Why make yourself look suspicious?”
Minjun felt ants crawling all over himself; he did not like your questions.
“I just want to be sure we’re good to go,” he repeated, turning away from you.
“We are good to go, Minjun,” you pleaded softly. “Let Jude do it.”
“And what if Sid hid it all,” he still insisted, “and Jude can’t find it?”
“Then you might not find it, either,” you replied. He clicked his tongue, discontented. “I just don’t want you to risk getting caught on the CCTVs there. Jude is staying in that hotel. It’d be easier for him to get to Sid’s room, it’s far less risky. It makes more sense. Let him do it.”
Minjun kept his gaze on the floor, his jaw clenched.
You knew that he wanted to finally stand up to Sid, and it wasn’t your place to intervene. But you were the one who suggested getting Sid arrested, and now you wanted to ensure everyone’s safety and limit their reckless decisions in this plan to as few as possible. Minjun walking past the cameras in the hotel and breaking into Sid’s room seemed reckless. It seemed reckless for Jude to do it, too, but on a lesser scale—this was a risk you hoped you could afford.
“Jude might touch the drugs, too,” Minjun mumbled after a minute. “I don’t know if he’ll realise not to, even if we told him to be careful.”
“Then we can call him and warn him again,” you said. “But I’m sure he’ll be fine. He—he only looks a little dumb, but he’s ready. He wants nothing else to do with Sid.”
Minjun stayed quiet, and you did not say anything, either, allowing him some time with his thoughts. He already knew how risky it would be for him to go to that hotel. He just needed a minute to push his own ego aside and focus on getting Sid arrested, even if that meant he had to stay back and just watch it happen.
“Alright,” he said after a minute. “Yeah, fine. I’ll stay here.”
A deep, resigned sigh followed his words, and you allowed yourself to close your eyes and lean against the door of the room for just a minute.
“Okay, good,” you said. “We—we should be alright.”
You sounded as confident as you could under the circumstances, but Minjun sensed every nervous undertone in your voice.
“Yeah,” he said, twisting the silver band on his index finger. “We should be. You—the more you praised and thanked him, the more willing Jude became to do anything for us. Sid had never given him positive feedback in his life, and you’re giving it all to him in one day. So, I-I think you’re right. He’s on our side. He wants to do this, too. We will be fine.”
You nodded slowly. You hoped you were right because the rest of your plan relied on this.
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You were right.
Later that same day, you would learn that Jude had done a spectacular job at improvising. You’d never considered him to be particularly bright until today—actually, that was putting it nicely—but he was Sid’s friend, so he had destructive behavioural patterns ingrained deeply in his brain. That worked in your favour.
Apparently, Jude got worried that Sid would sleep through Rated Riot’s set, and that would derail your plan. So, he made sure that Sid wouldn’t wake up if touched, and strategically dangled Sid’s hand over the edge of the bed. Then, planning his exit, he opened the window to create a draft with the door. Finally, he forcefully dropped Sid’s phone from across the room, and ran out before Sid registered the noise.
The screen of the phone cracked, startling Sid awake. Right away, he noticed his outstretched hand and his broken phone on the floor, and his thought process was very simple: he dropped his phone in his sleep and woke himself up. The window was open, so the wind must have rattled the door of his room at the same time, adding to the noise. That’s all there was to it—never mind that the damage to the phone was far too bad, given the distance from his hand to the floor, and there was no wind outside the window.
Jude’s improvisation proved excellent in another way, too: Sid thought the cracked screen was the reason his phone wouldn’t turn back on, and why it appeared empty once he plugged it in to charge. He thought he had broken it, and he was very unhappy about that.
Jude, meanwhile, was overjoyed. He sent you a text with an innocuous smiley face, and started to pack his belongings.
You received his text and proceeded with your part of the plan.
First, you had to borrow an old flip phone from one of the middle-aged roadies on tour because it was the only device that could fit your prepaid SIM card.
And then, as soon as Ivy started her opening set and Rated Riot gathered in their dressing room for final preparations ahead of their performance, you called Sid.
He answered on the first ring with a word that you did not understand. He didn’t sound sober.
“Sid?” you asked.
“Yeah?” he responded, the sound slightly distorted on the old phone. “Who is this?”
“It’s me,” you said, intentionally avoiding names. You hoped he’d recognise you because you doubted many women voluntarily called him. “Can you talk?”
It took Sid a minute to place your voice, and the line stayed quiet while you waited.
“What—what number are you calling me from?” he asked. That was good. His first reaction was not, ‘why are you calling me?’
“It’s my number,” you said. “Just—I made it private, so—I don’t want anyone to know I’m talking to you.”
The number obviously wasn’t yours, although Sid wouldn’t be able to tell. The prepaid SIM card was meant to ensure your anonymity in case the authorities checked his call history and traced the number back.
“Why?” Sid asked. He didn’t sound accusing or annoyed, merely confused.
“I have something I want to discuss with you,” you said before adding a deliberately half-panicked, half-angry whisper, “but listen, no one can know.”
Sid was obviously befuddled. A long “ahhh” preceded his response before he found actual words.
“What are—what do you want?” he asked, and then, to your horror, he softened his voice. “I mean, to discuss with me.”
You took a deep breath. You were grateful that he hadn’t hung up and instead continued to speak to you in this unbecoming, warm tone, but you still felt nauseous and had to clutch the flip phone to your ear to stay in the moment.
“I—I’ve been thinking a lot,” you began, following the script you had written on a piece of paper that you couldn’t wait to burn later. “Jungkook and I—it—it’s not good. I don’t know what I was thinking. I’m—listen, I don’t want to talk to you about this over the phone. Jungkook can—well, you know, it’s a phone. I don’t know, maybe he tapped it or something.”
There was a minute of silence. You wondered if you’d overdone it, if your hesitation had not sounded natural.
“Jungkook tapped your phone?” Sid asked, sounding incredulous.
“He might have, I—he’s acting very irrationally, and I’m—honestly, I’m realising that I was wrong about you,” you said. You had to pause to close your eyes and calm your stomach. Sid took the silence to mean that you were gathering your strength, and you really were, just not in the way he thought. “Jungkook is—he’s acting crazy. Ever since you posted that picture on Instagram, he’s been controlling everything I do. I can’t—I can’t do this. So, I’m—look, I need your help. I think you’re the only one who can help me get out of here. Can you meet me?”
You held your breath, expecting to wait while Sid considered your request—but he did no such thing.
His response was immediate. “Where?”
The second you heard the question, you knew that Minjun had been right. Sid would come here to see you—but not because you’d asked. He was going to come here purely out of spite for Jungkook.
“Are you in London?” you asked, your voice shaking.
“Yeah,” he replied.
“I’m at The Academy,” you said. “Can you come?”
“I’m not allowed,” he reminded you—exactly like you expected him to. “Jungkook blacklisted me.”
“I’ll talk to security,” you said. “They’ll let you through.”
He fell silent again, and you knew he had a lot to wrap his head around, yet you still worried that you might have been too forceful. But you shouldn’t have doubted this. You’d mentioned Jungkook, and Sid was deaf to everything else.
“Wh—can you just—why do you need me to come there?” he asked, sounding curious, even lazy, but not suspicious.
You supposed the text messages you’d sent him in advance had also helped, like you hoped they would. Now, your desperation to see him seemed more believable.
“I need your help, and I can’t leave the venue,” you explained. “I’m the—you know my job is to stay here. People will notice if I leave. They’ll know something is up. I need—I need you here.” You paused when you heard Sid’s garbled inhale on the other end. Loathing every moment of this, you swallowed, and continued, “Rated Riot are about to start their setlist, so no one will even know you’re here. Please? I—I really need you.”
He did not seem to notice the way you choked on the last words, but he was silent for a very long time, and you began to second-guess yourself again. You couldn’t help it—this was so unrealistic.
You’d hated Sid for as long as you’ve known him. Surely, even if he believed you needed his help, and even if Jungkook was involved, he would laugh in your face and tell you to fucking deal with it on your own.
“Alright,” he said instead and you felt shivers run down your spine. Jungkook was that much of a sore spot for him. “Fine. Yeah. You’ll speak to security?”
“I—yeah, I promise,” you assured him—and you didn’t lie, technically. You had already talked to Mick. “Come straight to the dressing rooms, I’ll be waiting for you there.”
“Alri���” Sid started to say, then stopped abruptly. “What do you want to talk to me about?”
“I can’t tell you over the phone,” you repeated. “I don’t want—no one can know, okay? It has to stay between you and me.”
“Alright. Shit,” he said, encouraged, as it seemed, by this ominous you-and-me. “I’m coming. Wait for me.”
“Okay,” you replied, trying to unclench your teeth. “I’ll be waiting.”
Ending the call, you exhaled and shook your hands vigorously as if that could help you recover from the conversation and stop shuddering.
You felt even more nervous now—if you struggled so much to talk to him over the phone, how would you handle him face-to-face?—but you couldn’t afford to lose your courage.
So many things had to fall into place for you to succeed—Jude needed to run into you in that club in London and Sid needed to leave him alone when he nearly overdosed—and it all felt frustratingly circumstantial. But all that was left now was up to you, and you’ve spent days planning this. You knew what you were doing.
You waited for Sid and paced in the room. Then, remembering suddenly, you pulled out Jungkook’s lighter from your jacket pocket—jangling the keys of his Katana as you did—and burnt the piece of paper with all that you’d written down before your call. The flames were delicate and shy. They disappeared into the air as soon as they finished the job, and not even the sprinklers on the ceiling picked them up.
It took Sid about fifteen more minutes to arrive, and he rounded the corner towards the waiting area while breathing heavily as though he’d run all the way here.
You pressed your palms into each other behind your back to keep your composure. He was wearing a thick North Face jacket, far too warm for this weather, and you wondered if Jude had managed to double-check what was inside.
“That was shit to get through,” Sid remarked once he saw you in the doorway of one of the empty dressing rooms. “Fucking Mick hates my guts.”
You’d warned Mick to be as rude as he possibly could when Sid got here, but you still didn’t like that Sid used his first name. Mick was the guardian angel of this tour; he was the quiet backbone of every concert. You wanted to punch Sid a little just for mentioning him so offhandedly.
“Yeah, he—he takes his job very seriously,” you said. “Thank you for coming here.”
Sid followed you into the dressing room and looked around. He hadn’t seen anyone other than Mick backstage—you made sure he wouldn’t—but he still seemed on edge.
“Are we cool to talk here?” he asked. “You’re not worried about Jungkook overhearing us?”
“No,” you said. “They’re about to go on stage. We’re good.”
It was easy to talk to him when you didn’t have to lie. And it was even easier when Sid asked all the wrong questions. If he had decided to point out that you hated him and asked why you’d changed your mind, you were sure you’d start stuttering again.
“Okay.” He stuffed his hands in his jean pockets while you stood across the room, your arms folded tightly over your chest. “Well, wha—why did you ask me to come?”
“I want to talk to you,” you replied. He could not discern the expression on your face or the tone of your voice.
“About what?” he asked.
“About us,” you said.
His eyebrows shot up and his mouth stretched downwards in an expression of comical surprise. “Us?”
“Yeah.”
His gaze flickered for a minute, drifting away, then returning to you again. He looked unsure of himself, and witnessing him in a similar state of disorientation as Jude had been when he was first here, was extremely entertaining. You almost wished you had a camera somewhere in the room.
“Okay,” Sid finally said, waiting for you to lead the conversation.
“What are you thinking right now?” you asked.
The question deepened his confusion. “Huh?”
“What did you think about just now,” you clarified, “when I said ‘us’?”
Sid frowned and did not reply. You could tell that he was very confused about your different mood, but he was already here, so you did not owe him any more false pleasantries. You just needed to keep him here a little longer: to get a proper reaction out of him in front of your scheduled witnesses, and to give Jude enough time to finish his part of the plan in Sid’s room and check out of the hotel.
“That’s fair,” you said in response to his silence. “You don’t have to answer.”
“I’m—why did you ask me to come?” he asked, glancing behind himself.
The room was hidden from the rest of the waiting area by an awkward corner wall, providing you with enough privacy to leave the door ajar, so it would make sense for Mick and Luna to find you here later, but it also wouldn’t make Sid uncomfortable. He seemed fairly content to leave the door open as he talked to you.
He was perplexed, however. You watched his beady, cockroach-like eyes dart between the window and the couch behind you. He wasn’t sure if he was being paranoid. He didn’t like that you did not look nearly as panicked and vulnerable as you’d sounded on the phone.
“You don’t have to look around,” you told him. “It’s just us here.”
He scoffed, not convinced. “I know it’s not.”
You felt a bubble of worry in the pit of your stomach, but you swallowed it and maintained eye contact. “Why wouldn’t it be?”
“You have security everywhere,” he replied.
“I told you I talked to them.”
You saw some of his armour loosen. He was still puzzled by your rigid posture, but now he seemed less inclined to flee.
“Right,” he said reluctantly. “You said you needed my help.”
“I did,” you confirmed. “Can you answer one question?”
He furrowed his brows again.
“Sure,” he said, but his response sounded like a question. He couldn’t guess what would happen next, and he was beside himself. You’ve never seen him fidget like this.
“Why did you come here?” you asked.
“What do you mean?”
“Well, I’ve been texting you the whole day yesterday,” you said. “You didn’t reply to me. Then, suddenly, you did. And now you’re here.”
You already knew why he texted you back when he did; Jungkook had provoked him. But you wanted to hear Sid’s logic. This had been bothering you ever since Jungkook told you about the videos Sid had sent him—the simple why.
Sid wanted to establish his superiority, you understood that much—but why was it so important to him? After all, Jungkook had never posed any serious threat to him until now.
This was not part of the plan, but you figured that since you had to keep Sid here for a while longer, you might as well make the most of the situation.
“Oh, yeah, no, my phone—it broke, the glass cracked, all my shit is deleted,” he said. “I’m trying to figure out how to access my Cloud. I forgot my password.”
“Oh,” you said. “So that’s why you didn’t reply?”
Sid shrugged. “Yeah.”
You narrowed your eyes before quickly adjusting your expression. You may have dropped certain parts of your act, but you were still the worried, confused, and very innocent damsel in evident distress. You weren’t interrogating him.
Sid seemed to read the expression on your face as precisely that.
“Don’t worry, I’m—I would have replied to you if my phone was okay,” he said and you had already predicted that he would say this very thing. It was a standard response for guys like him: I would have replied, but. I would have called, but. I really would have, but.
You cleared your throat and hoped very much that your face would appear relieved to hear this. “Really?”
“Of course,” Sid assured. He was soothed, seemingly, by the hopeful glint he thought he saw in your eyes.
“I just—I have another question,” you said. “Are you here to get back at Jungkook?”
You could have been more subtle, but you did not want to be. Sid wasn’t expecting the question anyway, and his confusion clouded his judgment.
“I’m—why do you think that?” he asked.
“You two hate each other,” you explained. “I thought that was why you came here. Just to get back at him.”
Despite your calm demeanour, you sounded unsure when you spoke, and that helped Sid feel more at ease. He believed you were insecure about his motives. He thought you wanted to hear that he’d come here for you, only you. Not Jungkook.
“Well, sure,” he said. “But—you’re—you know.”
“No,” you said. “Explain it to me. I don’t know.”
“Well, it’s, like—I mean—you said you needed my help,” he replied very concisely.
You sensed what he was trying to convey, and you enjoyed his struggle to find the words for it. It was pathetic, though. You could tell just by looking at him that the emotions he wanted to talk to you about weren’t genuine, yet he still couldn’t put them into words.
He wanted you to think he had feelings for you, so you’d drop your guard. So you’d stop asking questions and come to him, and Jungkook would lose you. But if there was anyone in this building that Sid genuinely had feelings for, it was himself.
“Well, yeah, but you—you posted that picture,” you said, feigning hurt. He’d wounded you and now you doubted his intentions—this way, he couldn’t doubt yours. “And you sent those videos, and—I thought you hated me, too. I didn’t think you’d agree to help me.”
“I don’t hate you,” he said. “This isn’t about you.”
Your overstimulated mind perked up. It finally started to feel like you were getting somewhere.
“It’s not?” you asked.
“Well, it’s a little about you,” he admitted. He chuckled here, too, and you felt a foreboding churning in your stomach even before he said anything else. “I mean, I liked you f-for a short while. Nothing serious. I think I even told you about it.”
“You did not tell me.”
As his awkward chuckling ceased, you caught your mask slipping and blinked a few times, trying to appear less threatening.
“Well, it didn’t last long, so it doesn’t even matter,” he added, glancing around the room.
“Mhmm.” You contemplated various ways to phrase yourself next, hoping that any way would work as long as your voice was quiet and unsure, maybe with an insecure chuckle at the end. “But why did you send those videos? What are you—what’s the reason?”
He closed his eyes and groaned. “How can you ask me that? After thinking that Jungkook tapped your phone? I thought you realised what he’s really like.”
You looked down, needing a moment to recall all that you’ve told him so you could continue to play along.
“Oh, no, I mean—no, I know,” you said. “I see what he’s like, I’m just—I want to know what you were trying to do, and, uh, maybe we can help each other.”
Sid appeared pleasantly surprised to hear this, but his expression quickly morphed into one of his sly grins—the sort that was toxic if you were exposed to it for too long. “Oh, yeah?”
You swallowed; you thought you could already taste the poison on your tongue.
“Yeah,” you replied.
He exhaled and took a few steps deeper into the room, right past your side. You forced yourself to stand still as he approached the window, glanced outside, and then turned back to you.
“It’s my revenge,” he said.
“Revenge,” you repeated, internally cringing at his choice of words. “For what?”
“For you.”
You raised your eyebrows and clutched your arms around yourself tighter. This was what you were waiting to hear, but, at the same time, it wasn’t.
“For me?” you asked.
“And for his band,” Sid added.
You did not reply, too worried about the turmoil you felt inside. The stirring in your stomach had suddenly intensified—as if the outer lining of your organs had begun to peel off like old paint does when it comes in contact with something acidic. You were starting to discover that Sid was toxic to be around in more ways than one.
“He’s got—he thinks he’s the shit now that he’s famous,” he continued. “Now that he’s back with you. He needs to be taken down a notch. That’s all.”
“That’s all?” you asked skeptically.
“Yeah,” he said with a nonchalant shrug. Taking someone “down a notch” seemed to be a regular activity for him.
“And you don’t think that’s a waste of time?” you asked. “I mean, I think we should just leave him be and… you know, move on with our lives.”
“No, that’s not how it works,” he declared. There was a newfound intensity in his eyes, an angry flame of sorts, and it made you realise just how lifeless his gaze had been otherwise. This was truly his purpose, you realised. If he wasn’t making others miserable, he wasn’t really living. “Somebody steps out of line, you need to put them back in their place. Or they won’t learn their lesson.”
You lowered your gaze before you could start shaking your head at his self-assured tone.
“But why does it matter if he learns his lesson or not?” you pushed. “If—if we’re leaving and won’t have to deal with him anymore?”
His lips spread in a dangerous, serpentine grin.
“We’re leaving?” he asked. He sounded thrilled and you wanted to knock his teeth in.
“Well, I would hope so,” you said. You also hoped that the twitching you felt in the corners of your eyes was phantom, and he could not see how much your body detested his presence.
Sid considered this for a second. You could see some sinister plan brewing in his mind.
“Alright. Yeah,” he finally said. “I like the idea of us going away. But it’s still unfair to leave debts unpaid, you know? This shit goes back years. He’s always tried to upstage me. Picture this: on my birthdays, I usually borrowed my dad’s yacht and got all my friends. And for the last few years, Jungkook was spending the whole night at the helm, handing everyone drinks like some Great fucking Gatsby in that book, fucking singing, and just trying to be the centre of attention. It’s my fucking birthday, and he’s acting like the star of the show.”
You had to pause to allow for several bits of new information to sink in. You were surprised, first of all, that Sid knew what a book was. You also learnt that he was so far up his own ass that he could not be accurate if he was gifted objectivity for Christmas.
You had heard a different version of this story from Jungkook. When he told you about these yacht parties, he had emphasised how new these experiences were for him, and how Sid was the one who’d made them possible. He’d used one of these parties as an example of the good moments in their friendship. You could sense awe and subtle gratitude in Jungkook’s words. No malice, no jealousy.
But Sid had evidently felt threatened. Yachts weren’t a luxury to him, they were a regular occurrence. And he felt intimidated by Jungkook’s unbridled joy because he cherished these experiences in a way that Sid never could.
“Oh,” you said after a moment. “I’ve never—I didn’t know about that.”
“Yeah,” Sid said with a childish sneer. “And don’t fucking get me started on what he was like when he was still with you. Never fucking shut up about having to see you. He thought he was some king of the fucking world, thought he was better than us. He tried to make us feel like losers because you chose him. And I knew things were shit for you two because he never told us about anything that you did together. But still, he fucking—his fucking head was the size of the moon. He really thought he was the shit. And then—get this. I said I wanted to be in a band. So, guess what he did?”
You were impressed by how offended Sid sounded as he complained about Jungkook not sharing the details of his relationship with his friends. And you were just as impressed by his perverse interpretations of how Jungkook’s relationship made him feel—he felt left out. He felt jealous and angry. He always had to have more than his friends and now, for the first time in his life, he didn’t.
And you remembered this dream about their own band, too – the conversation Jungkook said he’d had with Sid, Jude, and Minjun on the beach. How Sid wanted to be a bassist, how he owned all of Sex Pistols’ records. You’d thought they were joking until Jungkook brought this up again just the other night. And now you could tell how serious they were just by looking at the scowl on Sid’s face.
“Not to mention,” Sid continued, providing you with all the answers you sought, and looking very pleased as he did. To him, this must have felt like you were already agreeing with him. “Jungkook is the only one of my friends that my mum likes. I don’t know what it is about him. She fucking adores him. Like some stray fucking cat, I swear to fuck. And, of course, every time he’s at my house, he goes out of his way to kiss her ass, and she falls for it every single time. He should have been grateful I even invited him to see me, he should have been fucking kissing my ass, but instead, he was trying to appear like a little angel to her.”
This wasn’t something that Jungkook had mentioned to you before, and you were surprised. You only knew about Sid’s stone-cold mother from what Minjun had told you.
“What do you mean?” you asked. “What was he doing?”
However reluctant Sid might have seemed before, now he looked elated about the opportunity to elaborate.
“He brought her favourite chocolates whenever he came over, he polished her car when we were working on my granddad’s collection—and nobody even asked him to touch her car. He fucking sent her cards on her birthday,” he listed off, scoffing to himself. “And then I got shit for not congratulating her right away, even though I had something planned. For later. He was—he was setting some fucking standard that I had to live up to. And why the fuck should I? I’m her only son. Who the fuck is Jungkook to her? Fucking nobody. He’s a fucking wannabe, that’s what he is. He fucking acts like he fits in with us, but you can take one look at him to know that he never will. He’s nothing.”
You glanced at the window on your side. Sid got something exactly right; Jungkook really wanted to fit in.
He wanted Sid’s mother to approve of him like he wanted everyone to approve of him. He hoped that gaining her acceptance would make him feel more included in their inner circle. He would become Sid’s friend, not just someone Sid hung out with occasionally. They’d be as equal as they could be, given their vastly different backgrounds.
But Sid saw it all as a threat. And he was envious, too. He thought he had to compete with Jungkook for everything, even his mother’s affection. And he was understandably upset because he had the entitlement, the legacy, the money. He had a whole dynasty behind him. Jungkook had nothing.
For a very long time, Jungkook had been trying to come as close to Sid as he could, even though he knew he could never have what Sid had. And now, all of a sudden, Jungkook had so much more: he had the band, a promising career, a devoted fanbase, real friends. He had the girl, too.
And you realised that Sid didn’t want to merely demonstrate that he was better than Jungkook; that wasn’t it. He was obsessed with Jungkook—because he wanted to be Jungkook.
“So you thought those videos would put him in his place?” you asked. “You thought they’d teach him a lesson?”
“That was just for starters,” Sid said, grinning again. “I was going to make sure he lost you first, then the band. And I also have his bike. He would lose everything else on his own. Not that there’s much else to lose.”
You ran your fingers over your chin. You hadn’t had a chance to give Jungkook the keys to his Katana yet, and the weight of them in your pocket was quite pleasant.
“I see,” you said.
“So, what—will we do it?” Sid asked, blowing into his fist and rubbing his palms together. “I mean, he’s already lost you.”
You realised, quite unexpectedly, that you didn’t really want to punch him anymore. He was so deeply miserable already, purely of his own accord, that there was nothing you could do to make him feel worse about himself. You just wanted to get him out of here—preferably in the back of a police vehicle.
“How would—how do you think he’d lose the band?” you asked.
“I’ll post those videos I sent him,” he said easily. “Well, after my phone gets its shit together. His band will fear for their reputation, and they’ll get rid of him. Simple. And then every time he’ll try to sing, I’ll pull up something I have in my gallery. He’ll have to live the rest of his life quietly, without bothering anybody.”
You nodded along as you listened. You and your friends had suspected Sid would do this very thing. And now the thought of him trying very hard to get back at Jungkook after tonight, but failing every time, was very inspiring.
“What are you thinking?” he asked after you didn’t reply.
You looked up at him. “I, um—do you know what time it is?”
He glanced at the obnoxiously large, diamond-encrusted watch on his wrist. You doubted he could tell time that well, and Sid confirmed it when it took him a good fifteen seconds to calculate what each number on the mechanical watch stood for.
“Nine twenty-four,” he said. “Why?”
“No reason,” you replied. You’ve kept him here for almost half an hour at this point. That was as much time as you agreed on with Jude and Minjun; Jude had to have finished by now, ideally with some time to spare. “You came here from your hotel?”
“Yeah,” Sid said. “You want to go there?”
Finally, you allowed yourself a small smile. “I don’t think either of us will be going there.”
His eyebrows gathered into an uncertain frown. “Hmm?”
“I invited you here,” you said, “because I wanted to see you one last time.”
The previous confusion you’d seen in Sid’s eyes doubled. He did not make a move, but you saw him stiffen.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked, and you were close enough to see his pupils shrinking.
You were the one to shrug casually this time. “I figured it’d be quite boring without you here.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” he replied slowly, his gaze fixed on your face.
Your smile lacked any real sympathy, despite the pitiful click of your lips. “I’m afraid you’ll have no choice.”
“What?” he asked again. You watched him slide one of his hands into his jacket pocket. It must have been reflexive, he couldn’t have known that you knew what he carried there. But you were still glad. You were going to tell the police later that he kept reaching into his pocket anyway. At least now you wouldn’t have to lie.
“I’m just thinking, what else did you bring with you to London?” you asked. Jungkook told you not to beat Sid up, but he didn’t say anything about taunting him. “Something that you wouldn’t mind sharing with the police, maybe? We could have a little Show and Tell.”
You noticed his arm tighten inside his jacket sleeve; he must have clenched his fist in his pocket. “What—what the fuck are you saying?”
He had reverted to his usual manner of speaking, and you felt far more comfortable when he was foaming at the mouth instead of half-whispering just to maintain a seductive tone with you. His real face was slowly coming out. You could already see the fangs.
“Why do you look so alarmed?” you asked. “Did you bring something that you shouldn’t have brought with you, but figured, what’s the worst that can happen?”
His jaw was tight. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yeah, you do.”
He glared at you in a poor attempt at intimidation, and you heard the faint sound of footsteps in the corridor. You knew that Luna and Mick were right there, behind him. He was trapped.
“Is this why you called me here?” he questioned. You doubted he’d sensed the others, because he still looked fairly composed. “You’re trying to—trying to trick me into—into what? Admitting that I do drugs?”
“I’m not trying to trick you,” you countered. “I’m just having a conversation with you.”
He squinted at you. “You don’t need my help, do you?”
You almost laughed at the absurdity of the question; you knew he was slow, but this still surprised you.
“I did, actually,” you said. “And you’ve already helped me loads. Thanks.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?” he snapped, finally displaying some of the aggression you’d been anticipating. His hand flew out of his pocket but remained relatively close to the rest of his body. “Y-you—you think you’re going to bust me for drugs? You think this is my first time in a foreign country?”
Your smile was patient.
“You think this is my first time talking to you?” you returned. “You think I spent all these years dealing with your shit and learnt nothing?”
For a very heartwarming moment, Sid’s eyes looked ready to pop out of his forehead.
“The cops wouldn’t find anything,” he snarled, taking a step closer to you.
You shrugged and did not move. “Alright.”
“You’d be the one they question for wasting their time,” he continued, taking another step until he was a mere foot away from you.
“Fair.”
He leaned in closer, each of his words so self-assured that it was a wonder he hadn’t done a backflip yet to prove how absolutely incredible, how untouchable, how totally one-of-a-kind he was.
“You still think you have something on me?” he snarled.
You leaned back slightly to be able to meet his gaze without your vision blurring from the proximity and his awful smell. His cologne was not rich enough to hide the powerful stench of all that he’d consumed before he came here.
“Is this a threat?” you asked. Your tone was calm and you saw the way it made the veins in his neck bulge.
He scoffed. “How is that a threat?”
“I am feeling very threatened.”
“I’m not even touching you,” he retorted. He was a little nervous, you could tell. He thought he could pay his way out of any trouble, but he would still be inconvenienced if you called the police.
“Who’s going to believe you?” you countered. “You reek of liquor and weed.”
“Oh, so you’re going to frame me, is that it?” he asked, raising the pitch of his voice to mock you.
You figured he would think he was invincible until the very end, and you appreciated that his unwavering arrogance would become precisely what brought on his downfall.
“Framing implies I falsify charges,” you said.
He ran his tongue over his upper teeth. “Well, I never threatened you.”
“And I never lied to the police.”
Sid continued to stare at you without blinking. He hadn’t expected to find himself in this situation with you. He hadn’t expected you not to blink, either.
And it occurred to you, with him so close, that despite the act he put on, despite his perpetual sneer, he was truly incredibly insecure. This—standing right in your face—was the most he could do.
“Hmm. I see,” he said. You heard his jacket scrunch as he moved, but you did not look away from the slits in his pupils. “You have to understand, though, if I wanted to threaten you, I w—”
You noticed the movement of his arm out of the corner of your eye and slapped his hand away with the edge of your palm just as he reached to touch your cheek. Sid yelped and recoiled in surprise.
You had underestimated your strength when you were on so much adrenaline, and the dull slap echoed in the empty room. It took him a moment to understand what had happened.
“Fuck—y-you’re the one who just pushed me,” he said, looking at his hand as if you’d drawn blood. “And you’re the one who called me in here in the first pl—”
“Mick!” you called out, cutting him off.
Mick was standing right by the door and Sid did not get another chance to interject before the security guard popped his head inside. He looked at you, then at the increasing distance between you and Sid as Sid crossed the room away from you.
“Yeah?” the guard asked, stepping inside.
“Call 999 for me, would you, please?” you asked, keeping your eyes on Sid as he smirked to himself. “We have a trespasser here.”
“You fucking invited me,” Sid shot back, rolling his eyes. “You told them to let me in.”
“I did no such thing,” you said.
“Y—you fucking called me!” he continued, momentarily thrown off balance. “And you kept fucking texting me, and told me to—”
“I would never call you.”
The unshakeable tranquillity in your eyes as you lied right to his face made him livid. You hoped it would.
“You fucking bitch,” he spat. “I have it on my phone. The messages might be gone, but you called me—”
“Sid,” you said in a voice so indifferent that he stopped speaking and just glowered at you. “You are behaving very irrationally and posing a threat to me and your surroundings. Mick is legally allowed to restrain you until the police get here.”
Mick put his phone away and took a step closer to Sid. Sid took an instinctive step back, closer to you. He appeared so confused, so cornered, that not even his persistent scoffing—a coping mechanism, you started to realise—could help him retain his nonchalance.
“I’m behaving irrationally?” he questioned. “How the fuck am I—”
“Hey,” Luna called from the door. Your heart lifted at the sound of her voice, but faltered when you saw Minjun next to her. He wasn’t supposed to be here. “I heard yelling. Is everything alright?”
“I-I found a trespasser,” you explained. “I feel very threatened.”
“I understand,” she replied, her voice mechanical. Sid looked like he wanted to throw things, then break them when he noticed Minjun. “He is yelling at you and flailing his arms. I also feel threatened.”
Sid’s sardonic laughter gained more volume.
“You’re fucking ridiculous,” he growled. “Did you all plot this together? Do you know who I am? This will never fly.”
“The police are on their way,” Mick told him. “You’re coming with me.”
You allowed him to take charge and moved towards Minjun and Luna; she immediately wrapped a protective arm around your shoulders. The three of you watched Mick grab both of Sid’s hands and dodge a clumsy slap as Sid made feeble attempts to resist.
“You have no fucking idea what I’m going to do to you, Minjun!” Sid cried. “Your family is fucked. They’re so fucking fucked!”
You reached out to touch Minjun’s arm when you saw him swallow back his anger. He glanced at you, then at Luna, and nodded before turning back to Sid.
“I’m sure it won’t be that bad for us, compared to where you’re going,” he replied calmly, forcing Sid to break into another fit of incomprehensible screeching.
Mick guided Sid towards the door, using his full weight to restrain him as Sid writhed in his grip. As soon as they crossed the threshold of the dressing room—where Sid fought violently to break out and cursed Minjun to hell and back several times—Mick pulled him into himself and half-carried him to the security room.
Sid yelled all the way down the corridor, ensuring that there were plenty of other witnesses to his outburst. The venue staff and your tour staff all heard his threats, they all saw him resist Mick’s hold. You couldn’t have planned it like this if you’d tried—and it was mostly due to Minjun showing up. Seeing someone that he considered a mere plaything stand up to him had clearly snapped something in Sid’s brain.
It took the police twenty minutes to arrive, and Sid had not closed his mouth once. You found that you quite enjoyed it; every scream from behind the door of the security room about how he was going to “fuck this place up” and “find every single one of you” and “kill you, you insufferable fucking bitch” sounded very melodious. Even Minjun loosened eventually, enjoying the moment he’d waited so long for.
Despite your efforts to keep the rest of your friends away from this scene, Maggie found her way to you just when the officers entered the venue. She was concerned about the screams she’d heard from across the building, but she was relieved to see you, Luna and Minjun chuckling outside the security room.
“Get it together,” she warned you with a grin. “The police are here. We want them to take us seriously.”
“Can we watch?” Minjun asked, nodding at the security room. One of the two officers had left the door open.
You moved closer instead of replying, and all four of you peered inside.
The space was cramped, but the scene inside the room was beautiful: Sid was on his knees, pressed against the wall, and he looked feral. His hair fell in aimless, overly gelled strands around his face, he snarled and barked at anyone who addressed him, and the younger officer appeared genuinely afraid to touch him for fear of getting his hand bitten off.
The other officer turned around in the meantime, noticing you. He approached, but Sid was yelling so much that the officer could not even ask you for a quick recap of what had happened before they got here. You understood what he wanted anyway, and leaned in to shout your explanation in his ear.
“He kept reaching into his pocket while talking to me,” you said, according to your plan. “I’m afraid he might be armed. We didn’t mention this on the phone so he wouldn’t hear us a-and decide to use it.”
There were no weapons, you were sure. You just needed the officers to check Sid’s pockets with intention, not merely graze over them.
The policeman gave you a nod and turned back to face Sid. The younger officer stepped back, seemingly relieved that he wouldn’t have to touch him.
“Stand up,” the senior officer ordered.
Mick let him go, and Sid jumped to his feet with such angry vigour that he collided with the metal table in the middle of the room. He cursed again and attempted to punch the table in irrational fury, hissing in pain the second that his knuckles connected with the surface.
“I am so happy,” Minjun whispered next to you when Sid leapt in the air in pain. “This is literally the highlight of my life.”
“Mine, too, I think,” Maggie agreed, snickering. “Wish I’d brought my camera.”
Biting back your own laughter, you shushed them so the policemen wouldn’t hear.
“Stop, stop,” the older officer was telling Sid. His voice sounded a little alarmed as Sid clutched his hand and spun around. “You’ll hurt yourself. Stand by that wall.”
Sid continued to mumble profanities under his breath, but he complied. The officer approached, gently kicked Sid’s shin to get him to spread his legs, and began to search through his thick jacket.
He meticulously patted down Sid’s shoulders, then his chest, until he pressed on something—the very something you and Minjun had hoped he would press on—and pulled back with a frown. A light bag, securely wrapped in cling film, tumbled out past the various zippers on Sid’s jacket and landed on the floor.
Across the room, Maggie gasped. Both officers jumped back as if a ticking bomb had fallen out of his pocket.
You noticed that Sid looked surprised, too. You glanced up at Minjun, and he gave you a solemn nod. He already knew that Jude had to rip Sid’s usual inner pocket to make sure the bag would fall out when poked with enough force.
The older officer was the first to react as he yelled at his younger colleague who quickly sprung into action and pressed Sid roughly into the wall, effectively restraining him again. The other officer then pulled out his receiver and spoke into it with such urgency that you almost began to feel uneasy, too.
“That—that’s not mine!” Sid protested despite struggling to speak with his face pressed against the wall. “I don’t know how that—it’s not mine, it—”
The young officer pushed him into the wall harder and said something to him, more assertive now that Sid’s rage was replaced with fear. You couldn’t hear what he said from where you were standing, but you could tell from the way Sid swallowed and quieted down that it was not a phrase of gentle encouragement.
“It’s not yours,” the older officer repeated as he pushed his receiver back into the case, “but it fell out of your jacket?”
“It’s—”
It took Sid two seconds to realise that he was in deep trouble—and another two seconds to make this much worse for himself.
“I was just taking it to a friend,” he said.
You could no longer suppress your smile.
The senior officer raised an eyebrow, then quickly lowered it. He refrained from asking further questions—although he certainly looked like he wanted to—knowing that it would only incriminate Sid more.
“You can tell us at the station,” the officer said, pulling out gloves and tweezers to pick up the small bag from the floor, careful, so the white powder inside wouldn’t spill out, “about whoever you were taking it to.”
Sid noticed the way the officer’s voice changed as soon as he mentioned this friend, and he realised what this must have sounded like.
“I—no. No,” he decided, his panic deepening. He knew that supplying was a much more serious offence than possession. “I wasn’t taking it to anyone. No one paid me. I’m not selling. I was just—”
“You’re going to the station,” the officer repeated. “You can tell us about your friend there.”
“I’m saying I—I lied!” Sid shouted. He sounded frantic, desperate, scared. It was perfectly musical. “It’s not—I wasn’t taking it to a friend. It’s for me! It’s mine.”
“Oh, this much?” Maggie called out.
You were startled by the abrupt sound of her voice. Sid was too, as he whipped his head around, forcing the officer cuffing his wrists to stagger on his feet and push Sid’s head back into the wall.
“Shut the fuck up,” Sid yelled, promptly interrupting the officer as he began to recite his rights to him. “I will fucking—I will kill you—I will fucking kill all of you, I swear—”
“Son,” the older officer interjected sternly, grabbing Sid’s arm from his younger colleague and dragging him towards the door of the room. Maggie pulled you and Luna aside to make room for them to walk past. Minjun stepped back, too. “I’d like to remind you that you are under arrest.”
“Fuck you,” Sid snarled, staring at Minjun.
He glared at him all the way down the corridor of the venue, straining his neck as the officers pushed him forwards, and you followed them outside. Just past the back exit, you and your friends stopped to watch—with immense pleasure—as they took Sid to their car.
“Jungkook will go down with me, you know!” Sid yelled, resisting their attempts to protect his head as they pushed him onto the backseat. “I’m his friend. He invited me!”
You saw his flaring nostrils from afar and you could tell how much he wished that Jungkook stood next to Minjun right now. How much he wanted to get one last reaction out of him, to threaten him with payback like he’d done to Minjun. And you were glad Jungkook wasn’t here to give Sid the satisfaction of being his punching bag one last time.
“Jungkook was the one who banned you from Rated Riot’s shows,” you reminded Sid as he kicked the seat in front of him. “That was why we had to call the police.”
“Your obsession with Jungkook is really unhealthy, by the way,” Minjun added. “Maybe you should work on that before someone realises how jealous you are. That’d be awkward.”
The older officer glared at Minjun, but there was a softness in his eyes that indicated he only meant to softly chastise him for this unnecessary addition.
“You fucking cu—” was going to be Sid’s last choral arrangement, but it was drowned out when the younger officer slammed the door shut.
The officer then walked around the car and got into the driver’s seat, while his older colleague stayed back to talk to you. He told you that he would have taken you to the station as witnesses as well, but he understood how busy you were. When he bashfully admitted that his daughter was actually in the audience of Rated Riot’s show right now, you felt so high that you could have easily floated away.
He pulled out his notebook and returned the subject to Sid, asking you to be quick and concise. He said that things did not look good for Sid either way, but the procedure required him to get your statements.
Your account was very straightforward: Sid had forced his way into the venue, yelling and cursing, and demanded to see you and Jungkook (Luna’s statement confirmed this: “It was frightening,” she’d said, “I thought he was going to hurt someone.”). Then, you called security. Sid looked irrational, almost crazy, and he resisted all of your efforts to restrain him. He threatened everyone, it was so very awful—and not entirely false.
Then, Minjun recounted how he’d heard Sid’s shouts from the smoking area outside, and Maggie told him about hearing the same shouts from the bathroom across the venue.
In the meantime, you shifted your gaze to the police car. The officer inside was stuck listening to a lengthy barrage of Sid’s curses—“fucking pigs, all of you”—and introductions—“do you know who I fucking am?”—but he did not turn his head to acknowledge Sid’s hysteria. You wondered if they had any spare muzzles lying around in the trunk.
The officer emphasised to you that, after the scene Sid had caused, there was little he could do to escape punishment. And you knew that the discovery of illegal substances on his person provided strong grounds for obtaining a search warrant for his residence—where you knew he kept the rest of his supply that Jude had made sure to spread around the room.
And now even if Sid evaded possession-with-intent-to-supply charges, even if he hired expensive legal counsel, even if he tried to bribe the officers and their dogs, too – this was done.
Sid thought he was invincible, he had escaped consequences his whole life. But Jungkook was his biggest weakness, and he was the one who brought the consequences to Sid.
You were dizzy with delight.
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Jungkook was so worried about your plan that it lingered in the back of his mind all through the band’s performance. But then he spotted you sometime at the end of the show, smiling at him with the stage lights reflected in your eyes, and he completely forgot what you’d just done. He was just happy you were here.
It was Maggie’s side-hug as she walked past you and seemingly stopped to ask if you were okay that reminded him. And when you looked up at him again, meeting his gaze and nodding, he knew.
Sid was gone. And you were here.
Jungkook came very close to jumping off the stage and kissing you. He would have done it, really, everything else be damned, but the song change kept him in place. Rated Riot did not have many ballads—only two, maybe two and a half if you included the first half of “Haunting”—but the few that they had, came at this point in the show.
He stayed on stage, but he was still too excited to give the songs a proper mournful mood as he kept jumping and smiling into the microphone at all the wrong moments. Nevertheless, the audience greeted his energy with unwavering enthusiasm, and Jungkook thought that this night would become another memory—one of many, lately—that he’d want to stay forever etched into his mind.
By the end of the show, he felt like parts of his skin had caught fire. He was filled with so much energy that he could have walked to Paris right now and performed a show there immediately. He even frightened a few fans with his incessant jumping as the band stayed back for their traditional informal Meet & Greet after the show.
As soon as it finished, Jungkook made his way to you backstage—still breathless, shirtless, sweaty, and ecstatic—and hugged you as soon as he found you, despite your half-hearted protests. He was damp and sticky, and purposefully holding onto you tighter when he heard you complain about it.
Noticing the sight, the rest of the band members piled into the room, hollering war cries and jumping on the two of you in a chaotic group hug. With all five of you giggling and suffocating under each other’s weight, you didn’t notice Minjun and Jude lingering in the doorway.
You were greedy for a minute—maybe two minutes—as you soaked up the band’s bliss and enjoyed the moment before breathlessly telling the boys to go and have fun. They thought you were just saying that so they’d let you breathe, so naturally, they stayed huddled together longer, purposefully torturing you. They tousled your hair when they pulled away, and ran off, seemingly bouncing off the walls of the room as they went.
Jungkook wiped his face with a towel that he’d kept over his shoulder, his smile never ceasing. When you managed to tear your gaze away from his lips, you finally noticed that Minjun was grinning at you from across the room, with an uncertain Jude next to him. Minjun had picked him up immediately after the police left with Sid.
You took a step towards them, but Taehyung accidentally hit a few chords on his bass as he was putting it back into the case across the room—the melody held an uncanny resemblance to Queen’s “Another One Bites The Dust”—and all four members of Rated Riot, in various out-of-tune voices, immediately belted out the chorus, blocking your path with their haphazard gyrations.
There was cause for celebration—like there was every night, but tonight, especially—and you allowed them to pull you into their dance.
Jungkook was still humming under his breath when he led you to the side of the room a few minutes later, eager to learn more about Sid. You motioned for Minjun and Jude to join you, too, and then stretched up on your toes to find Luna and Maggie in the crowding room. They spotted you first and approached, bouncing with excitement.
Jungkook was patting Jude on the back, but the girls pulled all of you into another group hug that sent all of you into a new fit of laughter.
“The show was that good, huh?” Jimin commented, amused by your affection, as he finished setting up the drinks on the table next to you.
You extended your hand to make room, and he snuck into the very middle of your group hug, holding onto Luna and Minjun.
“It was!” you agreed. “We’re celebrating.”
“When are we not?” Jimin replied, readily accepting the glass that Maggie handed him once she broke the hug.
You and Jungkook distributed the rest of the glasses to your little group, and Minjun poured the tequila. Absolutely exhilarated, all of you clicked your glasses together, laughing and splattering your drinks everywhere. You were a little worried about Jude, but Minjun kept his arm on Jude’s shoulder, giving you a nod when you met his eye. He’d watch over him.
You downed your shots and realised belatedly that you didn’t have any chasers. Understandably, the only solution was to wash off the bitter taste with another shot of tequila, leading to a very entertaining rest of the night.
Just a few shots later, Jimin excused himself to find Seokjin. There was another bet backstage about whether you would finally drink after the final show in London—you hadn’t last time—and Seokjin owed him money.
Now, with only those of you who had plotted against Sid left in this corner of the room, the atmosphere darkened just a little. Your adrenaline had begun to wear off.
“Okay, I know we’ve talked about getting him arrested and whatever happens next happens, but I am curious,” Luna said, breaking the weighty silence. “How would it go in court? Hypothetically? Could he still avoid a prison sentence?”
You sighed. “He’s a first-time offender, so probably.”
“But wh—I mean, I actually doubt that,” Minjun interjected. “Considering the amount he has in his hotel room.”
You finished your shot before replying.
“There could be something else that makes the court lean towards a more lenient sentence, though,” you said. “He could—”
Minjun shook his head and cut your pessimistic approach off.
“Mitigating factors are good character, remorse, and proven steps to overcome drug use,” he cited. “Does any of that sound like Sid?”
You nodded, conceding. You’ve read about this together when you first began to plan Sid’s arrest, and Minjun had asked you the same question back then. Only a few extenuating circumstances could have applied to Sid, and even those were a stretch.
“Mental health could be a mitigating factor, too,” Jungkook added. “Sid is, I’m almost certain, insane.”
You raised your head to smile at him. At this point, everyone here knew that Sid was undoubtedly crazy or somewhere thereabout.
“That’s true,” Minjun agreed, smiling, too. “But they won’t release him back onto the streets, then. He’ll be institutionalised.”
“That’s good,” Maggie said, exhaling in evident relief. You hadn’t realised how concerned this change in conversation had made her feel. “I don’t want his ass coming anywhere near us.”
“He won’t be,” you assured. You may have been doubtful about Sid’s future behind bars, but you did not doubt that you’d never see him again. “If this won’t work, we’re all getting restraining orders.”
“Oh, nice,” Luna said, grinning. “We’ll save the officers some time if we all get one together.”
You snickered. “Exactly.”
Luna chuckled and stopped patting Maggie’s back to pour herself another drink. You and Jungkook both extended your empty glasses, too, and Luna playfully rolled her eyes before filling them.
“Honestly, I don’t even care what sentence Sid gets,” Jude said, and he began to stutter as soon as your little group turned to look at him. “I-I just want him to s-suffer a little.”
Maggie, ever as vindictive, raised her eyebrows at him. “A little?”
“For starters,” he clarified.
She nodded, much more pleased with this response, and broke into a lively tale about the positive feedback she received from Rated Riot’s fans after posting the blacklist—as though she was the one who had singlehandedly banned Sid—and the clouds of eerie disquiet above you quickly cleared.
Shortly after that, Taehyung grew bored and came to find Luna—with Jimin lingering by his side and playfully pulling Luna away from him. After Taehyung managed to run off with his girlfriend, Jimin changed his targets and continued his drunken twirling around a flustered Minjun, who kept insisting that he did not dance. Maggie had to pull Jimin away with an energetic pirouette, leaving the rest of you to yourselves.
Just then, Yoongi and Hoseok convinced Seokjin, Jimin, and Maggie to head back to the hotel, which was just a twenty-minute walk from the venue. They were all drunk enough to think they’d have a blast walking there and you had to dispatch Namjoon to accompany them. He was quite tipsy, too, but at least his limb coordination was not worse than it usually was. He’d drag them with him if one of them grew too tired of walking—you knew that one of them would and you gave Yoongi a knowing look before he left.
Minjun, Jude, Jungkook and you were the last people who remained in the dressing room to finish the drinks. You took this time to encourage Jude to tell you about what he did, and he shared the story about breaking Sid’s phone.
Happy and light from the alcohol, Jungkook wrapped an arm around your waist, allowing you to lean into his side as you listened. It was extremely relieving to laugh about everything that you’ve been through today.
“So, we’re done?” Jungkook asked after Jude finished. “This is it?”
You glanced at Minjun just as he turned to look at you; the two of you had developed a special bond over the past few days. Then you turned to Jude, too. Both of them nodded.
“We’re done,” you confirmed. “They arrested him.”
Jungkook’s arm around your waist tightened as he drew you closer.
“And the hotel room?” he asked then.
“It’s all there,” Jude replied. “I took care of it, but I-I barely had to do anything. Sid kept everything literally lying around.”
You nodded, relieved. “Good.”
“Really, Sid was the one who did everything,” Minjun added. “We just… made it more obvious. That still took a hell of an effort, but it’s all over now. Great job, guys.”
He leaned in to pat Jude on the back, and you reached out to give a supportive squeeze on Jude’s arm, too.
“We wouldn’t be here without you,” you told him, happy to notice that tequila had helped Jude’s tanned skin regain some of its glow. “The hard part’s finally over.”
“Fuck yes,” Jungkook exclaimed, perking up. “It’s fucking over.”
He reached out to high-five Minjun, then Jude, and you did the same, smiling all the while. You turned to Jungkook then, but instead of connecting your palms, he wrapped both arms around you and exhaled deeply against your neck. He settled in your embrace, showing no signs of moving anytime soon, and Minjun had to clear his throat, dramatically turning his head away.
Grinning, Jungkook released you but kept one of his hands on your back.
“Let’s head back to the hotel, yeah?” you suggested, and all of them nodded. “We all need to get some sleep. And I still need to take twenty showers in a row to get rid of Sid’s stench.”
Jungkook remained oblivious to his surroundings as he rested his chin on your shoulder. “Mind if I join?”
“Ugh.” Minjun grimaced. “Get used to this, Jude, these two are fucking intolerable.”
Jude snickered at this, and you laughed, too, taking Jungkook’s hand in yours.
“Thank you for everything you did today,” you said, your gaze stopping on all three of them.
Minjun’s expression softened. “Oh. It’s all for a good cause.”
“Yeah,” Jude said. He appeared more certain now, his voice was louder. He lost Sid but found his friends. He’d be alright. “W-we did this together.”
You smiled and turned back to Jungkook. He gave you a quick nod, and you understood. Patting Jude and Minjun on their shoulders as you walked past, you excused yourself to give the three of them a moment alone.
“Seriously, guys,” Jungkook said after you left. Minjun was a little uncomfortable with the intense gratitude in his friend’s eyes, but Jude was extremely touched. “Thank you for this. You’re a fucking rockstar, Jude, shit. And Minjun, thank you for being one of the masterminds behind this. How are you so fucking smart, but friends with us?”
They all laughed at this, but Minjun shook his head while he did, lowering his gaze.
“It was mostly your girlfriend’s plan,” he said. “She, uh—she made sure my ass doesn’t get busted along with Sid, actually.”
Jungkook was beaming. He would never tire of hearing you referred to as his girlfriend. Actually, he would never tire of hearing people talk about you and him in the same sentence, but this was even nicer.
“Oh, don’t worry,” he said. “She’d have also found a way to break you out of prison.”
Jude nodded, agreeing very strongly. “I bet she would have.”
Jungkook chuckled. He never thought he’d see the day when you would become friends with his friends, and he felt a little unsteady on his feet.
This moment here, tonight, felt very different from what he was used to, but it felt right. He hadn’t even realised how heavy the rock with Sid’s name on it had been on his chest, and how light he felt now that it was pushed off. How light he felt now that he was here with his friends. How happy.
“I’m glad you’re here,” he told them.
“We’re glad to be here,” Minjun replied.
Jude cleared his throat and raised his glass. “Fuck Sid.”
It had become their mantra, and Jungkook raised his fist in the air.
“Fuck Sid,” he echoed, grinning.
He wanted to find some additional encouraging words, but he was starting to grow restless, shuffling his feet and scratching his palms. Minjun was quick to conclude that he was looking forward to finishing the conversation and leaving the room.
“Go,” Minjun told him. “Jude and I are going to go out for a smoke. We’ll see you later.”
Jungkook looked very grateful. He would not even pretend to protest.
“Alright,” he said, already walking away. “Save me one, and thanks again! You’re two of the coolest people I know. But she is the first one.”
Snickering, Minjun called after him, “rock on. And stay safe!”
Minjun and Jude could still hear his laughter, even though Jungkook had already left the room in a hurry to find you.
He spotted you by the exit, and as soon as you extended your hand for him to take, he ran the remaining few steps to get to you faster. He gave you a quick peck on the lips, and was about to open the door when you stopped him by pulling on his hand.
“Hold on,” you said. “I have something for you.”
Jungkook was a little puzzled—and very intrigued—as he watched you search the pockets of your jacket. Never, not even when he was dreaming and couldn’t control the signals that his subconsciousness was sending him, did he imagine you pulling out the keys to his Katana.
“Here,” you said. “Jude got them from Sid.”
He heard his friend’s name, and he saw the keys out of the corner of his eye, but his gaze remained locked on yours, as though fearful that this wasn’t actually happening, that perhaps his mind was playing tricks on him.
It wasn’t the keys that he had trouble processing. It was you, giving them back to him.
“I’m…” he faltered, the rest of his sentence never making it past his lips. He tried a different one instead. “Thank you.”
You shook your head. “I’m just the messenger.”
“Well, you could have told Jude to take them back to Sid,” he pointed out, his throat dry. “I think that’s, um—that’s what I would have done.”
Observing his flustered state, you raised an eyebrow.
“Why?” you asked. “Did you change your mind about the bike? Is the paint peeling off, so you don’t want it anymore?”
Finally, his expression lightened, and a tentative smile returned to his lips.
“No,” he said. “And it would still be beautiful even without any paint. It’s what’s on the inside that matters.”
You grinned. “Very gallant.”
He remained hesitant, however, and you raised your palm again to give him the keys. You knew how much effort he’d put into the motorcycle, even though there were moments, when you first came to manage Rated Riot, where Jungkook’s obsession with his bike seemed unhealthy.
Yoongi—the self-proclaimed expert—had said that he’d seen this behaviour in almost all his friends. He was convinced that Jungkook was trying to compensate for something. Trying to fill some void in his life.
You remembered hating these assumptions. They had felt about as dangerous as Jungkook’s casual declaration about the love of his life.
“It’s your bike,” you said to Jungkook now, the keys cold in your palm. “I know how much it means to you.”
He took a sharp breath and shook his head. He did love the bike very much—as much as one could love an inanimate object, and maybe a little more—but he’s come to learn that he would give it up in a heartbeat for the things that truly mattered to him.
“It—it doesn’t mean to me nearly as much as you do,” he said. “I gave it up to keep Sid away.”
You swallowed the bitter taste in your mouth.
“You couldn’t keep Sid away even if you gave up Rated Riot,” you said. “He claims that’s what’s bothering him, but it isn’t. Not really. He just can’t stand the thought that you are bigger than he will ever be.”
“Hmm.”
Slowly, Jungkook took the keys from you, the tips of his uncertain fingers grazing over your palm. He examined the keys for a minute.
“I can put the keychain back on now,” he said. “It looks wrong without it.”
This surprised you.
“What—the “JK” one?” you asked.
“Yeah,” he said. “I had to change keys after I moved to a different apartment, and I put the pendant on these for the time being. It felt right, so I kept it there.”
He lifted the keys as he spoke and you frowned. You remembered the lurid—atrocious, really—pendant that you’d found at a fair and insisted on buying for him because it spelt out “JK” in large, jewelled letters. You were just drunk enough to find the flashy jewels enticing and very amusing.
You’d assumed Jungkook had put it on his keys as a challenge of sorts. It was very ugly and very far out of his usual taste in accessories, but you bought it, and he would rather cut off an arm than turn down a dare. You thought he’d taken it off after you broke up.
“You still have it?” you asked. “It was supposed to be a joke, I think.”
“Of course, I still have it,” he replied, almost offended. When he gave the keys to Sid, he kept the keychain. It was one of his most prized possessions. “It’s cute.”
“It’s huge,” you countered. “It ripped every pocket of every pair of jeans you owned.”
“That’s because they were shit jeans,” he said. “You leave my keychain alone.”
You snickered with a noncommittal shake of your head.
“Fine,” you said. “I’m glad you’ve grown so fond of it.”
“You gave it to me,” he said. “Of course, I’m fond of it.”
He slipped the keys into his pocket and gave you a wink as he did—to let you know that he didn’t mind ripping this pair of jeans, too, once he reattached the keychain. Then he finally opened the door of the venue and took your hand into his, leading you outside.
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The hotel was quiet when you returned, but you didn’t have time to wonder where the rest of the Rated Riot members were—you’d have definitely heard them if they were here—because Jungkook pulled you into his room as soon as you climbed the stairs to your floor.
His bathroom quickly turned messy, with your clothes scattered on the cold tiles. Jungkook had the rare talent of figuring out the shower mechanism within a second, and the warm water washed over you as soon as you stepped into the cabin after him. The glass panels on either side began to fog when you slid the door closed.
You knew Jungkook preferred his showers ice cold, but the water right now was scalding hot. He didn’t even ask you about it, didn’t try to negotiate. He simply made this comfortable for you and wrapped his arms around you, his grip unreasonably tight.
Hotel bathrooms, you realised, had become a significant part of your relationship.
“You still have to show me your playlist, by the way,” he murmured, following the path of the water droplets down your spine.
You sighed, feeling his chest move against yours as he chuckled. “What do I have to do to get out of it?”
“Show it to me,” he replied. “And I’ll shut up.”
“You never shut up.”
He laughed again, pulling back slightly to look at you. His hair fell in clumsy ringlets around his face—not wet enough to fully straighten yet—and you needed to remind yourself to keep breathing in, then out. He leaned in, wearing a teasing smile on his face, as if he knew that you’d stop breathing again as soon as he did this, and pressed his lips to yours.
You could taste the liquor that you’d shared backstage on his tongue and felt his warm breath as he exhaled against your mouth. Your touch on his neck was so delicate that he wasn’t fully convinced it was you, and not the stream of water that touched him. He wanted to hold you tighter to really feel you here, and he lowered his hands to the small of your back, gently drawing you closer.
Steam rose from the shower floor, and the glass turned grey from the fog. Jungkook would have been suffering in this heat if he had felt any of it. All he could focus on right now was you, and how you still tasted like a distant dream, no matter how many times he’d kissed you.
The shampoo remained untouched as your fingers explored each other’s skin, jealous of the courageous water drops—they dared to touch everything that your hands longed to reach.
Eventually, he blindly found the bar of soap on the metal shelf behind him, and broke away from the kiss.
Before you could say anything, he instructed quietly, “turn around.”
It took a moment for you to comply—not because of some defiance, but because the tattoos on his arm, when they were peppered with glistening droplets of water, were captivating in a way that they’ve never been before.
He rubbed the soap between his palms and massaged your arms and back, lathering the foam on your skin. His touch was slow and careful, although not particularly calculated as his hands kept wandering to every soft part of you. Every single one of his caresses seemed to cleanse something from your skin that mere water could never wash away.
A soft sigh passed your lips as his fingers followed the traces of bubbles on your navel, and you forgot everything that you were still supposed to do today. By the time he leaned in closer, his chest pressed against your back as he ran his hands over your collarbones, your chest, and your stomach, you forgot everything you’d done before today, too.
You realised, as you felt his breath against your neck, how calm you felt. How absolutely at peace—and how much you’ve waited for this. How much you wanted these moments to stay frozen in time, just yours and no one else’s, surreal and dreamlike even as you lived through them.
Jungkook noticed your closed eyes, and whispered softly, “are you okay?”
You hummed. “I love you.”
He felt your heartbeat under his fingertips. He felt the way your words echoed in his chest. And he realised that he was stupid to think he’d already experienced every human emotion in his life, because these sensations in his stomach were new. They felt like scattered branches of fir trees. Like the sharp edges of young pinecones. They stirred within him like a forest of evergreen trees: vibrant, timeless, and beautiful.
You’ve opened something inside him that he didn’t realise had been closed. And you’ve closed everything he regretted opening. You were every breath he took, every scent he smelled, and every flavour he tasted. You were every beat of his heart.
He did not think he could ever adequately express the depth of everything you made him feel.
“Thank you,” he said, because he couldn’t not say anything, “for everything.”
You turned in his arms, a little confused about his abrupt gratitude. Jungkook swallowed hard, his gaze locked on yours.
“I can’t—I don’t know how to say what I feel,” he admitted. “You change my life every day. Maybe that’s all there is to it.”
The look in his eyes as he said this reached something very deep inside you—something that had been waiting for him every day for the past seven years, and all the years before that.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and rested your head on his shoulder.
“I love you,” you said again.
“I love you,” he replied, pressing his forehead to yours.
You felt his chest move as he breathed, and you closed your eyes again. You knew now that this was your safe space.
Contrary to Jungkook, who needed company to drown out the noises in his head, you were very fond of your solitude. Being alone with your thoughts provided you with a sense of security that you could never find with other people—because, as much as you loved them, they were still other people.
Jungkook did not feel like other people. He felt like you, as much as you felt like you. And right now, with the water running from his skin to yours, you felt calm. Easy. Solid, but serene.
He was your safe space.
“I have a meeting with the executives when we get to Paris,” you whispered, your words barely audible over the running water. “And—also the law team.”
He stilled in your arms for just a moment, then his fingers went back to their race against the water on your lower back.
“They set a date?” he asked.
“Yeah,” you said. “The day after tomorrow, before your first show in Paris. Nine in the morning.”
“Oh.”
Taking a deep breath, you said, “I’m going to tell them we’re together.”
He pulled back a little and waited until you lifted your head so he could look at you.
“Okay,” he said. “Are you sure?”
The question was painful. You made a mental note to show more confidence when you gave him the answers that he wanted—because these were the answers that you wanted, too.
“I’m sure,” you affirmed.
He nodded, running the tips of his fingers over the ends of your hair. “Should we—um, do you want to—”
“Let’s meet after,” you said, answering his half-question.
“Yeah? Coffee?” he asked.
You nodded. “Definitely.”
He leaned into you again, inhaling the smell of the lilac-scented soap on your neck as his arms found their way back around your waist, and he hummed against your shoulder.
“You know…” he murmured. “If I had your playlist, it’d be easier for me to wait until your meeting was over.”
Your cheeks stretched before you could stop your smile. “What playlist?”
The circles he was tracing on your back turned teasing, chaotic. He felt you squirm at the tickling sensation.
“Don’t play dumb with me now,” he whispered. “Give me the link.”
You pulled back and squeezed his forearms to get him to stop moving his hands over your sides.
“Say please?” you said.
The request took him a little off guard, but his surprise quickly shifted into an impressed grin.
“Hmm,” he said. “Is that how you want me? On my knees and begging?”
You shrugged, trying to fight against the fog from the shower as it began to gather in your head. “I do sort of like the image of that.”
“Please?” he said—right away.
You watched him for a second, your chest alight with flames, and you decided that with the subtle curve of his lips and the sparkle in his eyes, right now was the most beautiful he’d ever looked. It wouldn’t last, though. You were sure he’d take your breath away again tomorrow.
“Mm, I’m not convinced,” you said. “Say it with your chest.”
He poked his cheek with his tongue, giving his head a slight shake. “You’re lucky I love you.”
“I know.”
He shook his head again, then took a deep breath and pouted his lips.
“Please let me listen to the playlist you made about me,” he said, making sure to keep his voice devastated. “Please, please, plea—”
“Alright,” you said.
He was already about to start arguing, but he closed his mouth and grinned instead.
“Oh,” he said. “That was easy.”
You gasped, but the offence that barely appeared on your laid-back features made him chuckle. Stepping back, you gave him a look that was only stern in theory—there was no serious substance in the soft shade of your eyes.
“Don’t make me change my mind,” you warned.
“You can’t,” he replied, pulling you back into him. He seemed to know no other way: you were very close, and his hands were free. Naturally, he was going to reach for you. “You made a promise.”
You frowned. “When?”
“When you got into this shower with me.”
Your brows furrowed further. “I didn’t promise you anything.”
“You did,” he insisted. He was grinning mischievously and his eyes were narrowed—you could guess what he would say next.
You still bit, “alright, what did I promise?”
He looked triumphant.
“To be with me for the rest of my life,” he said.
You clicked your tongue, but your expression was luminous despite your attempts to hide it.
“That has nothing to do with my playlist,” you said, deliberately looking away. “And I don’t remember promising that.”
“Hold on,” he said, turning his head to meet your gaze, and gently lifting your chin to get you to look at him again. “You have objections?”
You had absolutely no objections and he could tell as much from the sparkling in your eyes. But you weren’t going to make this easy for him, and he expected as much.
“I mean, what if you have a change of heart?” you said. “And then having me around for the rest of your life starts to feel more like a curse? Although that’d be fun for me, I imagine. I’d love to mess with you. But it wouldn’t really be fair to you.”
He found the suggestion ridiculous. His heart had your name engraved on it in golden letters. There was no situation, as long as you were with him, that he’d find unfair.
“Unless hell freezes over tomorrow,” he said, “I’d say your odds are good.”
The corners of your lips twitched. “Yeah?”
He nodded. “Having you with me will always be a blessing.”
The clumsy cartwheels of your erratic heart forced you to look away again, and you tsked, making his smile widen with each disapproving shake of your head.
“You know, you say things sometimes,” you said, “and I know you know exactly what you’re doing.”
“Really?” His voice was exuberant. “Are you swooning for me, then?”
You grimaced. “I wouldn’t call it swoo—”
“Getting weak in the knees?”
“I don’t get weak in the knees.”
“No?” he teased. “But I’m literally holding you up right now.”
You glanced down, as if to check, and took a moment before raising your head again.
“That’s—for different reasons,” you said, and remained, very comfortably, right in his arms.
“Different reasons,” he repeated thoughtfully. “Such as?”
You did not spare him a glance. “Maybe I just enjoy having you so close.”
His grin was so proud, so radiant that you could see it without looking at him. It was loud, too; it drowned out the sounds of the shower and all sensations of the hot water on your skin.
“Oh,” he said, drawing you closer to his chest in one remarkably swift motion. “Now you’ve done it.”
You craned your neck to meet his gaze. “Done what?”
“Now I’m never letting you go,” he said, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. “Literally.”
You chuckled softly and allowed him to drown you in his touch. It didn’t matter anyway—you couldn’t breathe very well unless you felt him next to you.
“That’s hardly possible,” you teased. “We’re very busy people.”
“I’ll make it possible,” he said. You remembered having a similar conversation with him before, but he had significantly more confidence in his voice now. “We got Sid fucking arrested. Everything else is easy. I can figure out how to keep you right next to me for every second of every day for as long as we both live.”
You were a little concerned that so many years had passed since you met, and the butterflies in your stomach only seemed to grow larger, bolder, and much more restless with every passing day.
“I still don’t think that’s possible,” you replied quietly, “but I don’t mind seeing you try.”
“Good,” he said, lifting his head to look at you. “You know I’ve never lost a single challenge I’ve accepted.”
You lifted one eyebrow, amused by his claim.
“Technically,” you said, “you lost the bet to Sid.”
“Oh—” the syllable got caught somewhere in his throat. “Fuck.”
He looked almost appalled, and he suddenly felt a little nauseous, too.
“Too soon?” you asked. Your lips twitched as you fought back against your laughter.
He dug his teeth into his lower lip and wrinkled his nose. “Yeah, maybe a bit.”
“Oh, no,” you whined. “Should we avoid talking about it? Is this a taboo topic?”
He watched your theatrics and realised that anything that didn’t kill you really did make the two of you stronger, because he had convinced himself that he’d never survive the aftermath of the bet—and now you were teasing him about it.
“No,” he said. “No, you’re right. In the grand scheme of things, I’ve done far stupider shit to have you with me again, so we should be able to joke about this.”
“Exactly,” you agreed, grinning. “At least you didn’t get a concussion this time.”
Jungkook didn’t think that not having a concussion was what made this better. Although, to be fair, he hardly remembered anything after the forgotten kettle fell on his head while he was trying to plan a date night for you—but really, you were more hurt by his pain when he told you about it years later than he was in the moment it happened.
“I hurt you, though,” he said slowly. “That’s worse.”
You gave a firm shake of your head.
“It wasn’t the bet that hurt me,” you said. “But you fixed every problem that did. We actually put one of them in the back of a police car tonight. And you and I learnt how to talk to each other in the process. Look at us now.”
He felt his heart pick up speed, but he was still hesitant to agree. He didn’t think he’d ever have the right to make the first joke about the bet, however harmless it could seem years from now.
He nodded slowly. “Hmm.”
“Next step is learning how to shut up,” you added.
Looking up from the tiles of the shower floor, he took a moment to register the playful glint in your eyes.
“Is—is that supposed to be directed at me?” he asked, squinting.
“No, I meant that in general,” you replied. “But if the shoe fits…”
He scoffed, sliding one of his hands down your arm to intertwine your fingers.
“Oh, if the shoe fits,” he repeated. “Alright. Did you go to Jin’s school of comebacks?”
“I did,” you played along. “And graduated with honours.”
He nodded. “I can see that. Teacher’s pet much?”
“Very much.”
His grin was criminal, and you wanted nothing more than to feel it pressed against your lips.
“Well,” he said, bringing your hands to his shoulders and pulling you closer, “I do enjoy it when you listen to me. And when you do what I tell you.”
“Hmm.” You ran your tongue over your lips, and he was thoroughly infatuated with the look in your eyes at the moment. “That implies you’re the teacher in our relationship.”
“Am I not?”
“You haven’t taught me anything.”
He snorted, dignified. “I’ve taught you plenty.”
“Name one thing you taught me,” you challenged, but you were smiling at him, and he struggled to keep his train of thought when he looked at you.
“I—well, I taught you to play guitar, didn’t I?” he said.
You frowned, baffled by his interpretation of the word “teach.” You remembered the nights when Jungkook tried to learn guitar, and you were forced to listen to him whine about how there had to be something wrong with him—because, of course, if he couldn’t immediately excel at something, that had to mean that he was the problem.
“Is that what you think you were doing when you were learning it yourself?” you asked. “Because not only did you break all six strings, but the neighbours started banging on the radiators, and we—”
“Okay, okay,” he interrupted. The night you were talking about wasn’t his best, but he’d improved considerably since then. “I also taught you how to fight.”
“And then forbade me from punching Sid,” you countered. “Doesn���t count if I can’t use it.”
He rolled his eyes. You waited for another example, even though he was notoriously terrible at teaching others—to be fair, he rarely ever had to learn things himself; usually, they really did come naturally to him—but Jungkook stayed quiet for a few minutes.
“Well,” he finally said, “I taught you how to stop running from your feelings.”
“You—” you stopped your instinctive rebuttal and took a moment to look down and calm your heart instead. “Okay. Yeah. I suppose you did teach me that.”
“That’s right,” he said, happy to finally gloat. “Be a good student for me, and kiss me now.”
You looked up, distracted but amused. “Oh. Is this assignment going to affect my final grade?”
“Mhmm. It’s worth 75%.”
“Hmm. So, I have to put in some effort, I guess.”
He nodded while his hands roamed on your skin absentmindedly. “Might take you all night to finish it.”
“I don’t know...” you said. “I was never very good at pulling all-nighters.”
“Maybe that can be something else I teach you,” he murmured, close enough to touch your lips with his own as he spoke.
You whispered back, “maybe,” and he chose to reply by finally pressing his lips to yours.
He kissed you like he would countless times in the future, and the teasing promises of forever seemed to solidify inside you, like invisible tattoos that ran across your souls. And you remembered, because how could you not, about the first kiss that led you to this moment.
It was seven years ago, at the end of your second date, after you got back from the carnival where he claimed to have asked you to be his girlfriend. He had whined about not being able to walk you to your door after your first date—you were both wet from the rain, and he wasn’t allowed into your dormitory—so you snuck him in this time.
But he got too nervous in the end – he walked you to your door, hiding his trembling hands in his front pockets, and said goodbye to you, all while nearly suffocating from his anxiety. He’d already started to walk away, but then stopped abruptly and turned back. You were still standing there, watching him, your hands not reaching for the door handle. You looked like you knew he was going to turn around.
He reached you in two quick strides and connected your lips with so much force that your back hit the wall. He cupped your cheek with one hand and placed the other one on the wall behind you—and your breath never made it out, losing its way somewhere in his mouth. You’d kissed him back, your body trapped between the wall and his chest, and you thought you’d never feel quite as dizzy as this again.
Years later, in the shower of his hotel room in London, Jungkook kissed you again and again and again, and his lips still made your breath hitch, still made the room spin out of control.
He kissed you and every single time, the feeling of his lips on yours made your head feel light. He kept one of his hands on your cheek, the other one on the wall behind you—like that very first time—and you remembered wishing, seven years ago, that the night wouldn’t end. That he would stay, with his lips locked on yours, his touch warm and silky.
You remembered counting, too, how much time was left until you inevitably had to say goodbye. It had all felt so dramatic back then, so temporary. There was so little time, and so much you still had to do, so much you still wanted.
Tonight, the edges of the sky outside the small, shaded bathroom window were turning red; the sun was rising.
You counted again – there were five minutes left in this night, and you already had everything you wanted.
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chapter title credits: bad omens, “feral”
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writingroom21 · 9 days
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The Nanny
Pairing: Rafe x Nanny Reader
Summary: Being Wheezie's nanny was great. The only downside was dealing with the oldest Cameron, Rafe. What happens when his fascination with the nanny becomes a reality?
Warnings: Fluff, 18+, unprotected sex (wrap it up y'all), cream pie, mention of oral, fingering (f receiving), mentions of drugs
Wc:8.2K
A/N: Sorry for the long wait it has been a hectic week. I had a lot to do for this job I applied for so I was busy. But good news is that I got it! Anyway last chapter which is sad, but I hope you enjoy. Thank you for all the love this series has gotten. I owe it all to everyone of you!
Chapter 9: Laying All Our Cards Down
There’s a tickling feeling on your chest. It slowly stirs you from your sleep. The objects in you dream fading into shapes, then blobs of random color. Your hand goes to relieve the itch, still half asleep. Your fingers brush against a hand, their fingers the cause of what woke you. 
Rafe’s eyes watched you as you woke up, his fingers dropping the pendant to lace together with yours. Your eyes squint open slightly foggy from sleep still. They clear and Rafe is staring at you, his fingers playing with yours. “You put the necklace back on.” He points out, fine lines wrap his eyes showing his confusion. 
“Yeah.” You carefully look at his face, waiting to see if he will mention last night. “Why?” His blue eyes are burrowing into yours, forcing you to look at him. “You know why.” You won’t be the first to bring it up. Refusing to let him back you into a corner to crack you. His nostrils flare, a sharp breath leaving. “I don’t deserve you. It would never work anyway.”
There he is doing it again. Taking back the things he says, leaving you broken. “Well that’s not for you to decide.” Your voice is tense, starting to get upset at where he’s about to go. “How are you feeling?” He’s trying to ignore this conversation. Once you have it there’s no going back.
He can’t sit here and wait for you to leave him. You may be forgiving him now but in the end you will leave him. His mom died to get away from him, his dad would sell him out in a heart beat to get away from him, no one stays. That’s the one thing he learned growing up. The only constant in his life will only be him.
“Don’t ignore me.” You exclaim, your body shooting up to look down at him. “We are having this conversation now. I just want this to be over with.” Your eyes burn him so badly that he has to look behind you at the wall. “I’m not. Just worried about how you feel after what happened.” Liar. You both know he’s not telling the truth
 “Please don’t tell me that you really don’t want anything to do with me. This means something to me.” Your voice is hopeful, wanting him to say he feels the same as you. “Last night was scary until it wasn’t. That’s because I had you. Now please talk to me.” You plead.
Rafe turns his gaze back to you. His red eyes are lined with tears, he knows what he needs to say. It’s just hard for the words to form and make their way out. “This means something to me too.” It’s a whisper, afraid if he says it loudly he’ll wake up from this dream to reality. To a place where you won’t forgive him, a place where he doesn’t have you. “I’m scared you are going to leave me.” He admits, swallowing his pride.
“Why would you think that? Is that how you view me?” Your mind is trying to wrap around his confession. If that’s what he thought of you then you are hurt even more. You could slightly stand the thought of him just not wanting you anymore. The thought of him not trusting you, thinking that you would just leave hurts worse than when you caught him kissing someone else. A panic rises in your body due to your emotions.
Rafe picks up on this, his hand rubbing the arm that is holding you up. Giving you comfort as he speaks. “That’s not what I mean. I just…” He flops on his back to stare at the ceiling. You place a hand on his chest. Returning the sense of safety he gives you. “Everyone leaves me. You know how sad it is that the only person to actually worry about me since my mom died was you? Before her death my dad hated me and it only got worse after. No one has ever liked me and I was okay with that. Then you show up and change everything. I can’t lose that, I won’t be able to handle it.”
You watch each other, letting the words sink in. He’s shocked he even indulged in that conversation, you are just as shocked that he opened up. “So why would that mean I would leave you?” His hand lays on top of the one you kept on his chest. Giving your fingers a squeeze. “It’s inevitable, everyone leaves. Only a matter of time before you realize I’m worth nothing and you leave too. I’m just cursed.” His fingers have a tight hold on you. Using you as his life line, tethering him to the real world as he feels like he’s drowning.
This talk is starting to feel too real for him. Highlighting all of his flaws to put on a talent show for you. A bright spot light shining on a RUN sign to ward you off. You can feel how fast his heart is beating, pounding against his chest. “You are worth something.” Your hand leaves his, cupping his cheek to make him see you. “You Rafe Cameron are worthy of love. I’m sorry no one was smart enough to see it. But I do.” 
Rafe leans up, closing in on you. “You don’t know half of the shit that goes on in my head. I’m not good enough for you. I couldn’t even get this shit right, I’ll only hurt you more.” His hand brushes hair out of your face, tracing your brow and then your lips. “I won’t hurt you. You deserve better than this.”
A tear runs down his cheek and you wipe it. “See that right there just proves you won’t hurt me. I didn’t want to see it at first but you owned your mistake. You ran after me that night and begged me to talk to you. You kept asking me to give you a chance to speak. Then you gave me those flowers with the note and I realized I was shutting you out. I was afraid of you not wanting me and I iced you out.” You take a deep breath before continuing.
“I’m scared too. It’s okay to be scared, we both let it get the best of us. What counts is what we do after. You kept trying, I hope it’s because you care-” “I do. I care.” He interrupts. “See you care and you tried to put in the effort. You even gave me space because you wanted to respect what I wanted. You made a mistake but you are trying to fix it. You might not see it but you are good. You deserve to be loved, don’t punish yourself for something that isn’t your fault.”
His lips crash on yours, stealing the air from your lungs. The kiss is all consuming, devouring you from the inside out. A moan slips out of your mouth, your hand gripping his shoulder. The sound was like an alarm, alerting him of what he was actually doing. He pulls away from you, his hand moving to your chest to put distance between you both. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done that.” 
“Stop taking everything back. I want this too, stop running away from us.” There’s some commotion in the hallway but you ignore it. Voices get louder for a second and then fade as they go down the stairs. His eyes catch the pendant on the dainty chain held on your neck. 
He remembers the day he bought it. He had just dropped you off to get the food and stopped at the store. Rafe was walking back to his truck with the bags in his and had to pass the jewelry store. When he got to the front of the shop he looked over and something in him took over. He just had to go inside.
As he walked in, the man behind the counter greeted him. “Are you looking for something specific?” The older man asks. Rafe just shakes his head. “Just looking.” He walks around the store, aimlessly looking at the pieces laying around. He’s not really sure why he came in or why he is even looking at anything. Just when he was going to turn around and leave the store, that's when he saw it.
A dainty necklace that had a sun charm on it. He walks closer to it on instinct, being drawn to it like a beacon. It’s silver, which fits perfectly with the rest of your jewelry, he thinks. The only things you wear is silver, never any gold seen on your skin. “Nice necklace right?” The old man pipes in.
“Huh?” Rafe looks at the guy who is now in front of him. “The necklace. Just got it recently, no one seems to want it.” Rafe looks back down to it. “There a girl you want to get it for.” He just nods, pulling out his wallet without thinking. “Yeah my girl. She uh, she’s like the sun. Thought it would be fitting.”
The man opens the case, taking the piece out for Rafe to see up close. “She must be special then.” Rafe just smiles, looking at the guy as he slides his card over. “You have no idea.” The guy doesn’t move from his spot, looking at the boy that reminded him of when he was younger. “You know it comes with a ring. It was a set this old lady brought in.” He walks over to a different case and pulls the ring out, walking back to the boy. 
“Would you be interested in buying that as well or just the necklace.” Rafe has half a mind to chew the man out for trying to up-sell him. The ring is a band made of silver as well, carvings of a little sun with stars surround the band. His mind is telling him he has no need for the ring. Then the voice in his head stops him, instead of degrading himself it does something different. It reminds him of the car ride, the feeling he had as he looked at you.
He meant it when he said that you were like the sun. A dazzling ray of sunshine personally made for him. You are the greatest thing that’s happened to him in his shitty lifetime. You deserve to feel special too.
“I’ll take them both.” He knows why he got the ring. A part of him deep down knowing that he was falling in love with you. The other part rationalizing the purchase as wanting the old man to fuck off. “You remind me of when I met my wife.” Rafe stops at the door and looks back at the guy who helped him. “I was so in love with her that I bought her an engagement ring a month into seeing her. You just have the same look that I had. I wish you two the best of luck.”
The memory now seems laughable to him. Some random old man could spot how Rafe felt before he could even tell. He only gave you the necklace because he was scared of what he said, he couldn’t have been in love. Leaving the ring in the first drawer on the bedside table. Now he sees just how dumb he really was, he didn’t have anything to worry about. 
“Your love.” That’s all he says to you, leaving you more confused. “What about it?” He chuckles at you, giving you a quick peck. “That’s my favorite song, Your love. I didn’t have one when you asked but I have one now.” This really isn’t helping his case. You sit up fully, looking at him like he’s dumb. He hates that look, especially coming from you. “What the hell does that have to do with any of this? Rafe I’m being serious here, you can’t just keep changing the subject. If you don’t want this anymore just say it.” You kinda feel stupid now. You thought he wanted to work things out, that last night was a step forward in the right direction. But clearly not.
“It’s the song that was playing in the car after Barry’s.” Okay now he’s just getting on your nerves. Who cares what song was playing in the car ride. When you go to speak he puts his hand on your mouth to cover it. “I just couldn’t stop looking at you. You were glowing, so pretty that I couldn’t think straight. My heart felt like it was ready to jump out my chest and my body felt weird. Everything shifted in that moment for me.” His hand lowers, his eyes telling you to not say anything.
“I’ve always had feelings for you, I know that. I’m not dumb. I just thought it was because you didn’t give me the time of day and were so nice. That night when you caught me I figured you would walk away and I got caught up in the moment. Then it escalated and I couldn’t get rid of the taste of you. Every touch was as addicting as the last, I kept craving it. That song, in that moment made me realize how much I actually liked you. Got that necklace right after I left you to get the food. I guess it was my way of telling you I loved you without putting it into words.” 
He said it again, love. Rafe froze the moment his brain caught up to his words. He can’t believe this is how he is saying it. Right after he just figured it out he goes on blurting it to you. Not only that he tells you when you aren’t even together. This is honestly the dumbest he felt and he just said how he isn’t dumb. Good job Rafe.
“Fuck I can’t believe I just said that. Ignore me.” His hands rub his face as he freaks out. Your fingers wrap around his wrist, exposing his face to you. “You said it last night so don’t worry.” You lay down, your chest pressed against his side as he wraps himself around you. “What do you mean?” He plays with the ends of your hair to ground himself. “Last night as you were falling asleep you said you loved me. I just thought it was the drugs and you were out cold after you said it.”
“Oh.” Yeah he has to take his dumb statement back, he definitely is. If he’s already said it then there’s no taking it back, he’s got to commit to it before he chickens out again. “It wasn’t the drugs. Yeah they helped me say it but I meant it. They didn’t make those feelings, they were already there.” You smile, the heaviness you felt being melted away. You move closer to his face.
“Here’s what you missed after you fell asleep. I love you too.” It’s his turn to smile. This one reaches his eyes, creases deepening from the joy. His hand cups your cheeks, thumb caressing your cheek. Pulling you to him, kissing you deeply. Pouring all his feelings into you, hoping you are feeling just an ounce of what he does. He pulls back to talk to you but you have other plans. 
Your lips trail down his neck as he fights to stay level headed. “I meant it when I said I don’t deserve you.” He murmurs into your shoulder, pressing kisses to your skin. You stop, not wanting to move in case this is going in the wrong direction. “But I want to be. I don’t want to be this person anymore. I want to be someone you deserve.”
“I like you the way you are. You don’t have to change for me.” He tugs your hair, coming face to face with your eyes. “I want to do it for me, for us. I don’t like who I am without you, I’m just some addict no one likes. I don’t need to be that anymore, I know I can be different.”
The words seem more for him than they are for you. A way of telling himself that he can get clean and he is worth being with you. “Then I’ll be there every step of the way. I believe in you.” That’s the first time someone has said that to him. He’s been told he was loved before, but not one has believed in him. Now that he’s said he loved you, the feeling keeps bubbling up. 
Like it’s boiling in him ready to spill out once it gets too much. The way you care for him is unsettling due to it being so new, he’s not used to this. But he can get used to the feeling it gives him. The sparks of joy lighting his insides like fireworks.
You lean in and kiss him again, enjoying the feeling of having him close. The days following the incident were awful but they seem worth it now. Some obstacle that needed to be overcome before the two of you could open up. You know for sure that once Ward and Rose got back you would have most likely ended things due to the fear. But losing each other showed you that it’s not what the two of you wanted. You wanted each other.
This kiss was getting heated, your leg bracketing his hips between yours. As you start to grind on him, he stops you. “We should stop.” There’s a knock at the door before you could ask him why. “Who is it?” He shouts towards the door, fingers digging into your flesh as you roll your hips. “It’s Wheeze. Where is she?” You both look at each other not knowing what to do. “She’s not in her room or the house and I know she’s in there.”
Of course she would check everywhere for you. “Go back to your room Wheeze or wherever. I’ll be out shortly.” You answer, trying to get her to leave . “Fine but I better not hear any moaning. Just because I’m okay with this doesn’t mean I want to see it.”
Her footsteps retreat as you giggle. “I want us to take things slow this time. I don’t want to rush in and fuck things up. We should do this properly.” Your fingers drag along his chest, you are still sitting in his lap. “We can do that. Where do we start?” He grins up at you.
“How about a date?”
✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶ 
After that morning you had a talk with Wheezie. You and Sarah sat her down to tell her that the night before was not okay. “Wheeze you could have gotten hurt. Someone could have spiked your drink or worse.” You try to reason with her, conveying your worry for the young girl. “I know but nothing happened. I’m fine.” “And if you weren’t? How do you think dad would have reacted if he found out? You would be grounded and out a nanny.” Sarah chimes in, not really making her sister feel any better. “I know you wanted to hang out with your friends but you need to do it safely. Where were they when Sarah found you? You were alone and drunk Wheeze.”
“It wasn’t supposed to go like that. Sure I had a drink or two but I just wanted you to come find me. I thought you would run into Rafe and everything would fix itself. But hey look it worked.” She’s trying to lighten the mood and it ain’t working. You sigh, not knowing what to say. This mess of a night happened all because Wheezie parent trapped you. 
You honestly can’t help but to laugh at the ridiculous thought. “You parent trapped us? Wheeze that’s sweet you cared enough to help us, it really is. But maybe don’t do things that put you in harm's way and give me a heart attack. I was scared when Sarah couldn’t find you and you wouldn’t answer phone calls.” Thinking back at it now she can see how messed up a plan that really is. “It was stupid. I’m sorry for scaring you.”
The rest of the day was simple. Relax around the house as Wheeze was feeling the aftershocks of drinking. Rafe had chilled with you for a little before running off to do lord knows what. But when he got back it was with a single yellow rose and your favorite chocolates. “Thought you could add it to break up the white.” He makes it seem so effortless, as if he has always done this. You don’t understand why he was so worried.
“How about a date on Saturday?” He asks, picking a chocolate to eat. “Sure what are we going to do?” There’s chocolate smeared on his teeth when he answers. “That’s for me to worry about and for you to find out. Now I’m going to go up stairs and shower. Come up and we can watch Bob Burgers or something.” He finishes off with giving you a kiss, walking out like nothing.
You watch as he leaves, a smile displayed. He remembers the small things about you. The foods you like, shows you watch, he sees you. He may not realize it yet but you do deserve him. He can do all of this without you asking, you are used to having to beg for things you want.
Needed new stuff for school beg your parents. When they say no, beg your job for more pay for just that week. First boyfriend, beg him to even notice you when it didn’t come to sex. You had to beg friends to stay in your life even after they hurt you. The last person to care about you in this way has been gone for years. Now a memory you play back to make yourself feel loved. But here he is, the playboy of Kildare, giving you that same love. 
As you make your way to his room you promise yourself one thing. You won’t give up on him, he deserves happiness just as much as you do.
The rest of the week goes similar to that day. You and Rafe would sneak off to spend time with each other. Sharing secret kisses away from prying eyes. Rafe knows that Ward is suspicious, he had made a comment at lunch the other day. “The two of you seem close again.” He stared blankly at his dad. “Just be safe.” It felt like some validation was thrown his way. It’s not like he was trying to hide you but sneaking around made it more fun.
Everyone already knew that whatever happened was water under the bridge, but it seems like you two didn’t get the notice. 
You giggle as Rafe kisses your neck, teasing your bikini straps with his fingers. “Rafe, come one we have to get back. People will start to look for us.” Your words do nothing to stop him. “Let me enjoy my girl. Screw everyone else.” His kisses travel up to your jaw. “Well really can’t screw them if you keep me here.” Rafe knows you are teasing but it rubs him the wrong way.
“You do realize that you’re mine right? Ain’t no way in hell someone else is touching you.” The possessiveness isn’t new but heightened. Since your talk they thought of the other with someone new terrorizes your minds. It’s a new feeling for you, wanting someone to be yours always. To feel a strong sense of anger when thinking of him with someone else. Your arms wrap around his neck, bringing him into a kiss. “I do. As long as you know your mine too.”
“Only yours, baby.” He mumbles on your lips, teeth biting on the lower one to suck in his mouth. “We can go back out now. You go first gotta take care of something.” He nods down to the obvious boner in his pants.  “You know I can help you with that.” You say seductively, fingers brushing against the bulge in his swim trunks. “Let’s wait till after our date tonight, please. Trying to be a gentleman here and treat you right. Plus I don’t put out on the first date.” 
You laugh as you walk away from him.  “No, you just sleep with them before you even ask them out.” You mock him. Leaving Rafe alone to fix his little, well not so little, situation. You grab water from the kitchen before walking back out to the pool. Everyone is there chatting to one another.
A part of the “new” Rafe plan was rebonding with his sisters. Sarah of course was a little wary of the plan but saw how much he actually meant it. She was brought back to when she was little and he would sneak into her room to check for monsters. The little boy who gave her so much comfort was staring at her when he apologized, owning his mistakes and wanting to correct them. Even if she wanted to say no she couldn’t. Even with all of his wrongs he's still her brother and it seems like she’s getting him back.
Wheezie on the other hand was on board once the place was told to her. Being the youngest she doesn’t have many memories with the Rafe before their mom died. The one that was happy and not as broken. She can recall some moments where he cared deeply for her at a young age, barely even an image to see. She never really had issues with him after their mom’s death. Her and Rafe become the background as Sarah was the main event. They connected in a way that they could only understand. She was just happy that Rafe wasn’t as angry as he was before. 
The downside to this plan also meant a new beginning with the pogues, which was hard to do. It took a whole day of you and Sarag convincing everyone that it could work. Which brings you to this right here, pool day. Which is also the same day as your first date. The pogues as well as Topper and Kelce are here. Everyone agreed to be civil for the day, wanting to give Rafe this chance. You don’t know why the pogues said yes but you can’t complain, only happy that they are willing to see the good side of him after all the bad.
It’s been hours of you all getting to know each other. Playing silly games such as never have I ever. It wasn’t till the clock hit four that Rafe realized he hadn’t gotten a moment with you alone. That’s when he dragged you away when no one was looking. That was almost an hour ago, the shame of it all is eating you. Cheeks blushing red as everyone’s eye’s turn to look at you.
They just carry on with conversation, not mentioning what they all knew. You're relieved as you sit down, even more when Rafe sits besides you. His arms wrapping around your shoulder so you are leaning into him. Looking around makes you happy. Rafe has been great all day, no pogue comments or rude remarks. Your friends seem to be having a good time, joking around as if this was a normal day.
The feeling continues as you get ready for your date. Your jams in the shower only improve your mood as you shave. Extending as you pick out your dress, smile so wide your cheeks hurt. You are putting on earrings when there’s a knock on your door. “Come in.” You look in the mirror to see if there are any finishing touches needed. “Wow.” It sounds more like a breath than words. 
“You look beautiful. Maybe we should stay home instead, don’t need people seeing you like this.” He walks in the room, flowers abandoned on your dresser. “Actually nevermind, I want people to see that my girl is taken.” His hands land on your waist, arms hugging you from behind. “Your girl?Taken?” He loves when you tease him. That shit normally pisses him off, yet with you he can’t help but love it. “Yeah my girl. Always been my Sunny.”
He really hasn’t used the nickname much since you told him not to. You miss when he did. Your name doesn’t feel right coming from his lips. It sounds outrageous but it feels wrong. Even the other nicknames he gave you don’t feel the same. “I miss hearing you say that.” You lean further back to look up at him. “Calling you Sunny?” You hmm in reply. He pecks your lips, then nose, cheek, and finally ear. “I miss saying it. Glad to have my Sunny back.”
He twirls you around in his arms. Breaking away only for the two of you to leave the house. The car ride to the mysterious destination seemed to take forever, every turn just adding to the allotted time. As he drives the beach comes to view, waves crashing against the shore. The truck pulls onto a sandy road in between some trees, leading to an isolated part of the beach.
“Found this spot a couple years back. I usually come here when I want to be alone, but I thought it would be perfect for tonight.” The hand on your thigh tightens and releases the flesh. More of a way to ground himself to say that this was real, not a dream. “Why? Want to murder me where no one can see?” Your joke swayed his nerves. The nervous smile replaced with the one you’ve grown to love. “Haha, very funny. If I was going to kill you I would have done it that day on the Druthers.”
You give him a death stare, his dead tone making it seem like he thought of this before. “What? The sea would get rid of all evidence, nice and simple.” He shrugs, putting the truck in park. “Yeah I don’t like that you’ve thought of this before. Maybe I should have shared my location while I had the chance.” He chuckles, pulling you into a kiss. “Too late.” He retorts, getting out the truck to grab the last minute things from the back.
He had set things up the night before. You and Wheezie were having a movie night and he took the time to set up the place. There were fairy lights wrapped around the bare trees, the trunks illuminated by the light. A bouquet of hydrangeas, your second favorite flowers, were in a vase by two trees. It wasn’t a big space, the truck was parked on the road so it didn’t interfere with the layout. It was the perfect amount of space to be on the sand without getting splashed by the waves.
Rafe takes a few blankets out and walks over to where the vase is. You follow picking them up to set out of the way. “Those are for you. Wanted to get you something different than roses to change things up.” He explains as he lays the blankets down. “Thank you, I love them. They are actually my second favorite.” He gives you this little smirk and a wink. “I know.” Then he’s off getting the last item from the truck bed.
How much does he know about you? It’s like he has this book where he writes everything down so he won’t forget. None the less you like how he remembers the small things. It makes you feel important to him. 
You look to see him walking over to you with a basket. Raising it up, he shows the basket off to you. The other hand was holding a bottle of champagne and two glasses. “You didn’t have to do all of this. We could have just stayed in or got food.” He sits down next to you, placing everything on the blankets. “I wanted to do this. Saw somewhere that your actions speak louder or some shit like that.” Even when he pretends not to care he does 
“You’re really good at this.” Rafe watches you from the side of his eye as he takes out the snacks he packed. “What are you talking about?” He moves the basket once everything is laid out, reaching for a strawberry to take a bite. He brings the strawberry to your lips.You take  nibble, the sweetness of the fruit sitting on your tongue. “The whole relationship thing.” You swallow what you had in your mouth. Rafes eyes watch as your tongue chases and remnites on your lips.
“It’s just you care. You get me my favorite flowers, snacks, it makes me feel special.” “You are special.” You smile at him. “So are you. I just need you to know that I appreciate the effort you are putting in. Especially today with the pogues, it meant a lot to me.” He’s leaning on his side as he listens to your words. Soaking in the praise, relishing in the feeling it gives him. “I meant it when I said I want to change. I know they're important to you, so that makes them important to me. Plus they aren’t that bad, I guess.”
The rest of the night was filled with small talk. Taking the time to know each other better. It was easy to get in the rhythm of sharing information, knowing the other can’t judge. He tells you about every negative thing his dad has done. How he feels useless in his life, that he doesn’t know who to be if it’s not done with anger. In return, you tell him about what it was like living with your parents. The constant pressure to be perfect and bring them money. How after your grandmother died every sense of a normal childhood was taken from you. 
Rafe listens as you divulge your inner demons. Wanting to go to your house to yell at how stupid your parents are. How they should be ashamed of treating you like some cash cow. He realizes you two aren’t so different. Both had different experiences but still the same outcome. A home that never loved you. “Have they talked to you sin-” “No. They refuse to answer all of my texts.”
You are both laying on your backs, heads turned to the other. His hand closest to you grabs yours. Pulling it to his mouth he gives it a peck,resting it back down again. “Then you don’t need them. You have me and I have you. Plus my family loves you so the family part is covered. You’ll always have us.” You tear up, emotions bubbling up in you. “You can’t promise that.”
Rafe scoots closer, hugging you to his chest. “Yes I can.” It was a promise. A way of letting you know this is the long haul for him. He’s always known that you were different by the way you were with everyone. Always been drawn to you in some way, something in him not able to get enough of you. He realized that he can’t be without you during the time you ignored him. He’ll be damned if he has to go a lifetime without your love.
You start to kiss his neck, softly biting the skin with your teeth. “It’s our first date.” Your words are mumbled. “Good observation there babe.” His eyes shut, the sensation of your lips on his skin sending shivers down his spine. “You said after our date.” You remind him. His chuckle causes vibrations on your lips.
“Couldn’t even wait till we got home, just have to have me now. Hmm?” He pulls you over him, your hips slotted with his. Using your hips, he drags you back and forth over his dick. Your clit keeps catching the seam of his pants. “Such a little slut for my dick that you want to fuck me out in the open. Fucking me in the car wasn’t enough?” You moan out. No it wasn’t enough. None of him will ever be enough for you, entranced by the mere thought of him. “Never enough.” You moan again as he leans up, his lips meeting the exposed flesh on your chest. Leaving marks over your chest so he can enjoy the look of them later. “Get up.”
Your hands fly to his shoulders pushing him back. “What?” You stare down at him, trying to see if you crossed a line somehow. “We’re doing it right this time around. The first time we have sex again isn’t going to be on a deserted part of the beach. It’s going to be in my bed or yours. I really don’t care which one.” You huff at him, your breath causing some hairs to fly around. “Well maybe I don’t care about that. Maybe I want you here, right now.” 
Rafe is about to give in, only really wanting to make you happy. Willing to let go of the plan he had of showering you properly for your first date. Then you see the look in his eyes, sort of disappointed his plans are being skewed. “Okay, okay.” You say as you get up and reach a hand out. “You better drive fast or we might have to settle for the car again.”
You meant it when he said he needs to be fast. You were down the street when your hands were gripping him through his shorts. Lips peppering kisses along his neck. Rafe was relieved when he put his truck in park. Throwing to doors open and tossing you over his shoulder as he walks into the house. “Put me down silly.” He ignores you and makes his way up the stairs to his room.
You’re grateful that everyone in the house isn’t up. It’s close to twelve so most likely they are all sleeping. Rafe kicks his door open and then shut once you are in. You let out a squeal when he discards you on his bed. “Take your dress off now.” He commands, taking his shirt and shoes off. “Yes sir.”
Taking the dress off you are left in your white lingerie on display. He lets out a whistle, placing himself on top of you on the bed. “A perfect little angel.” He kisses up your stomach, stopping at your breasts to suck on them through the cups. “If only god knew what a whore you really are.” He bites one of your nipples, a shocked yelp forcing its way out of your throat. 
“Shhh. We have to be quiet, don’t want to wake them up.” Now that he thinks of it, he should have said yes when you wanted to stay on the beach. At least he would be able to hear the way you moan for him better. He pulls the cups down, nipples pebbling due to the air. 
Your hands work his pants and boxers down, leaving him naked. Next thing to go were your panties. Really they were only pushed off to the side so his fingers can touch you. You’re soaked, his fingers coated in your juices. He swirls them around, teasing your clit before pushing a finger in. A little impatient he adds another, staring as your mouth hangs open.
“There you go, beautiful. Such a good girl.” You haven’t been touched like this since that day on the Druthers. At first you were too heartbroken to do anything. Then too caught up with making up to even think about masturbating. It’s been a while and you are so wound up you could explode. With one last pump of his fingers you do, squelching noises filling the room.
“Rafe. Oh fuck, right there.” You had no time to recover when he was pushing himself in. He couldn’t wait anymore, his dick was aching to be inside you. This is probably the worst time to be so riled up. He’s been trying to make things better with you that he neglected himself. He couldn’t even think about touching himself this whole time. But now that he’s here, feeling your walls clamp around him he knows he fucked up. 
“Fuck… oh fuck.” He encases your body, his forehead on your shoulder. His arms wrap you, bringing your body closer to his as he nails dig into your back. You match his actions, nails dragging on his back, welts rising as you go. His lips can’t stay off of you, kissing any part of you he can get. Your mind is fixated on the feeling of his hips meeting yours.
Rafe’s perfectly huge dick piercing you g-spot over and over again. The two of you are just a mess of words. None of them are even audible yet you still understand the other. “God Sunny.” His fingers get deeper in your flesh, pain increasing your pleasure. “I’m not going to last long.”
Your left hand holds Rafe’s head. “Please.” His hips pick up pace, hurdling the two of you to your ends. You try to switch your positions, wanting to send him over the edge faster. “No no. Want to see your face. Need to see my pretty girl.” His moans are mixing with yours. The only thing that can be heard in the room is skin hitting skiing and your moans. “It’s okay baby. Fill me.” That was the end of him. He moans loudly as he fills you, his release triggering yours. Slowly rocking his hips to watch you awe stocks face for longer.
Rafe lays motionless on you, the orgasim of his life taking everything out of him. Your arms hold him to you, not wanting to let him go. “Shit that was amazing.” His words tickle you, air following them as they leave to dance on your skin. “Tell me about it.”
✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶✶
It’s been a month since your first date. When Rafe said slow he sure was not kidding. You would fool around when you can but really haven’t had the chance to fully sleep together. Every time you try he finds a reason why you shouldn’t. The furthest you got was when you gave him a blowjob and he ate you out. It’s been a whole month of tiptoeing around to not get caught.
Everyone knows now that you two are practically together. Ward is thankful that the issue is over and you have passed it. He can see Rafe changing, no more fights around the island. But more importantly no more drugs. Rafe quit after you gave him another chance, not fully at first but he got there. Ward was surprised not taking it seriously at first, as time went on he couldn’t deny it. Rafe actually was doing good for the first time in years.
The relationship between Rafe and his sisters had also improved. They spend time together without you now, not for long but they no longer argue. He even hung out with John B, JJ, and Pope alone. Everyone was shocked to see the boys all in one piece. You could say the only issue right now is once again what you and Rafe are.
You know you are exclusive. He had made that clear the night after your date. Saying how he won’t let anyone else get in the way. There was never a conversation about if you are boyfriend and girlfriend. No confirmation that you were fully together. It’s been eating away at you but you want to respect him taking things slow. Which was all fine until the party that happened tonight. 
Rafe was still selling with Barry even though he decided to spot doing drugs. He was going to the party to help push some coke and pills to all of the kooks. Instead of leaving you at home he asked you to go with. “Just come along. We can sit on some couch the whole night.” In truth he just didn’t want to be in a party setting alone. It’s one thing to stay away from drugs when he’s at home, at a party it’s different. 
If he was there by himself he would fall back into temptation. He can still feel the need to get high at times, missing the way it made him numb. Sometimes being sober is too much for him, having to take a few hits of a joint to calm the nerves. Weed and alcohol are the only things he allows himself, since he knows he can control those urges. He needs you there for moral support.
The party was in full swing when you reached the house. Rafe pushes through the house, hand in yours to guide you. He found a couch in the back easily and set up shop. Kook would come by asking for some coke, exchanging cash for a little baggy. Some would sit on the chairs next to the couch and take bumps right there. Others just take their goods and leave. 
Two hours into the party Rafe goes off to the bathroom leaving you alone. The only instructions he gave was to tell anyone who wants to buy to come back later. Which wasn’t a problem, then some guy walked up. “How much for a baggy?”
You look up from your phone to see your ex from highschool. “Ben?” He smiles at you. “Long time no see. Didn’t know that you started selling drugs.” He sits down next to you, leaving arms length of space. “No my… uh no I don’t sell.” You don’t know what to call Rafe. You wanted to say boyfriend but you aren’t really sure.
“Hey.” Rafe’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts. You smile at him but see that he isn’t looking at you. His eyes are trained on Ben. “Hey man. Looks like we got to wait, apparently this saint doesn’t sell.” Ben’s comment pisses Rafe off. “Well I hope not. She would take me out of business.” He’s trying to keep his cool, not wanting to lose his temper after working hard on it.
“Wait, you're the one selling?” Ben asks, he went off to college in a different state so he hasn’t been around much. He doesn't know a lot about Rafe after highschool or you for that matter. Rafe nods at the guy, tossing him a baggy and telling him the price. Ben says your name. “Do you know this guy?” You can’t get the words out since Rafe is answering for you. “Yeah she does. I’m her boyfriend.” 
You look at Rafe, eyes expressing how you feel. When you get happy there’s these golden specks that get brighter. He doesn’t even notice as he and Ben stare at each other. “Wow. Never expected this when we broke up.” The money he was handing over was snatched by Rafe. He wants to punch him in his stupid face. “Yeah well never thought you would cheat on me. I guess we just didn’t know each other.”
The anger Rafe is feeling intensifies. His eyes meet yours, as if you could read his emotions you shake your head. Instead of acting out he gathers the rest of the drugs laying out. Putting them away and grabbing your hand. “Come on baby. Let’s go home.” You try to protest. “Wait, don't you have to sell more?” “Nah go all I needed.” 
Rafe drags you out the house and into the truck. Driving to Tanny hill in silence. “Rafe?” He doesn’t say anything, only focusing on the road. His grip on the wheel is making his knuckles white. “Ray.” The new nickname surprises the two of you. He pulls into the drive-way and sits there. “Ray? That’s new.”
“I don’t know why I said it. Just you call me Sunny and a ray is associated with that. Thought it would be cute, but I don't know.” You feel a little self conscious now. “I like it.” He assures. The truck is silent after. You’re waiting for him to open up to you. “I got jealous.” There it is.
“I know.” He sighs. “You said you were my boyfriend.” He gives you this look. “Yeah no shit. I am.” He doesn’t get why that would be a problem. “You never asked.” Rafe looks at you before laughing. “Fuck I thought it was a given. Just assumed you knew I wanted you to be mine.” Now it’s your turn to laugh. “You’re such a dumbass. You need to ask a girl these things. I’ve been losing my mind over this.”
He gives you a kiss. “Will you be my girlfriend?” The words brush your lips. “Yeah I will.” You kiss him again. Not feeling his hand move around or his body shifting in a weird way. Pulling back something catches your eye. You glance down to see a ring. “What is that?” Rafe grabs your hand and puts the ring on your middle finger. “Got it the same day as the necklace. Was too scared to give it to you at first. This time around I won’t let it get to me. I promise I’m here for the long haul.”
The ring is beautiful, one of the nicest things you own now. Smiling at the boy in front of you, you realize how deep this really goes. Glad that you aren’t the only one who feels the same. “For the long haul.”
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haetrack · 2 months
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i read no clue before i went to bed last night so ur responsible for the dream i woke up to about mark and now i have to share 🫡
mark’s never been more grateful for the giant vanity table in ur bedroom. the large mirror showing him a perfect view of ur face, scrunched up in pleasure as he’s buried in u from behind. the sound of skin slapping echoing through the room, layered over the sounds of ur moans. the table shakes with every thrust, his hands grabbing onto ur hips hard enough, ur sure it’ll leave bruises.
he burrows his face in ur neck, kissing and sucking up to ur jawline. he watches ur reflection as one of his hands leave ur hips to move to grope ur chest, squeezing ur hardened nipples. the whine it draws out of u, makes his cock twitch inside of u. “mark, please. u make me feel so good,” u whisper.
“yeah?” he mutters under a heavy breath. his hand slides down to press against ur clit, rubbing circles with the amount of pressure he’s perfected over all these times with u. his name slips out of u in a loud moan at the sudden stimulation of ur clit. he revels in the sheer mix of desperation and pleasure forming on ur face.
he presses a light kiss on ur cheek before pulling his chest away from ur back. he can tell u were so close, how could he not help his girl finish?
he pushes ur body further down onto the table, making sure to still be able to see ur face in the mirror. his hand pressing down on the hollow of ur back to keep u in place. he pulls himself out of u almost all the way, before slamming his hips into u harshly. a curse leaves ur lips, as he repeats the motion, each time getting faster and faster. ur fucked out expression encouraging him to go harder. he knows ur orgasm is near when u start clenching around him with every single thrust, sucking him in so well. angling himself to go even deeper inside of u, his cock fucking u so good that u come with his name leaving ur lips like a mantra.
the feeling of ur warm orgasm surrounding him makes him pick up his pace even more, desperate to chase his own high. it didnt take long for him to follow suit, one more look at ur pretty face, combined with the whines emanating due to the overstimulation of him still fucking into u causes his hips to stutter, shooting his cum inside u. the feeling of u being so full of him, and both of ur orgasms engulfing him.
pulling ur body back up off the table, he leans forward to exchange soft, slow kisses while u both tried to catch ur breathes. u break up the kiss, and whine in annoyance, “dude, ur gonna have to clean this up because i’m not doing it” gesturing to the mess of ur table, a few of ur collectible figurines had fallen to their side along with some makeup products that were now on the floor. mark laughs and rolls his eyes playfully before grabbing ur face to his again.
——
ANYWAY NO CLUE WAS SO GOOD LIKE WHY WAS I GETTING SHY AND GIGGLY FOR HIM LMAO. girl ur gonna make me through it with all these mark posts im catching up on. like im so sorry haechan i swear i still love u but atm i love mark more
- 🌱
YOU CANT DO THIS TO ME... I WONT BE ABLE TO HIDE MY FEELINGS FOR MARK ANYMORE... he needs me so bad... haechan go wait in the corner for a bit
just imagining him standing behind you one day watching you get ready for the little date you both are about to have. he's smiling at you, liking how calm it is as you get ready, how pretty your concentrated face looks. then there's all the little collectibles on your table, all these memories from your life, and newly framed pictures of you and mark together. he's happy to be a part of your life, smiling at the reflection of the two of you in the mirror.
he doesn't know how, but his mind wanders a bit. he wonders if he could just put his hand on your back, bend you down a little, put his hips flush to your ass, grinding into you. he bites his lip, squirming a bit as he watches you. he realizes he'd be able to see everything, how your face looks as he fucks you, how your body reacts to him. his hands are itching to reach over to you, but you call out his name, smiling as you see his pink cheeks.
and you know him so well, which would eventually lead to fucking on your vanity :)
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coolprettyleo · 2 months
Text
no ones ever had me, not like you - ryan leonard
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wc: 1.6k
tw: talks of sex. talks of sex tape. old relationships. angst. lovebombing, etc. lmk if theres more.
ryan leonard x oc hughes sister au
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
frankie woke up suddenly, with her chest; rapidly breathing up and down. she had the worst dream that frankie hughes thought she could have; a sex dream. the only problem? it was about drew fortescue.
she felt awfully guilty due to the fact her boyfriend was soundly asleep next to her and here she was dreaming about her ex- situation ship?
I mean it's not like she still wanted drew. it was one of those dreams that you know has happened before and for some reason your mind wants to remind you it happened; but why?
she thought back and recounted the dream even though it made her cringe. she tried way to hard trying to impress him back then. she focused on what she remembered from the 'dream' or whatever it was, and her eyes widened when she realized there was a flash? a flash of what? a camera?
they had filmed themselves! she suddenly remembered as she gasped loud, waking ryan.
"wha- what!" he said as he spinged up and turned on the light, taking a good look at his girlfriend who looked nothing but guilty.
"you alright franks?" he asked after she just starred at him.
"uhm- ya. I just- just... had a-- nightmare?" she said coming up with a lie.
ryan eyed her for a moment before huffing and crawling back into bed,
"c'mere" he said before pulling her directly on top of him, something that he knew calmed and put his girlfriend to sleep as he rubbed her back. she hummed snugging her head into his neck. she loved- liked Ryan so much.
you cant love him already frankie! get a grip. you like him, alot.
___
it was the next morning and frankie didn't waste anytime and got up and ready for the day. she had one mission and that was; going to talk to drew. someone she hadn't spoken too since their last... meeting? she needed to know what happened to that video.
why had she forgotten? if that ever got out... her career, her brothers career, drew's career, hell even ryan's career would be over. the media would drag her and everyone who loved her through the mud. she wanted to cry just thinking about it, she needed to get that video wiped from existence.
she sped towards the hockey house knowing ryan was safe in class, away from the mayhem her mind was causing. she couldn't have him knowing about this yet, it could all just be; nothing.
he deserves to know it exist
she huffed before knocking on the door to the house hoping she would just be in and out; no one had to see she was even there.
god obviously had other plans because aram opened the door, and announced to will, gabe, jacob, and drew who were sitting around eating breakfast, that 'lady hughes' was here, as they nicknamed her. he stepped aside and motioned her inside.
"hey frankie, ryan's not here, we thought he was at your place?" will said as he grabbed her a chair and motioned her to sit,
"thanks but I'm not here for him. I actually needed to talk to drew" she said looking at drew, who choked on his cereal. frankie had been acting like he was non-existent since she got with ryan.
"i- i'm sorry?" he said coughing as everyone looked between the two with wide eyes.
"we need to talk... privately" she added when no one moved.
"does lenny know your here?" gabe asked, something that everyone was thinking.
"no. this has nothing to do with him. drew please" she said walking towards drew's room.
the guys looked at him with eyes as if they were all saying 'whats that about' and he shrugged before following the girl.
he entered the room and looked at her as she stood in the middle the room,
"do I shut the door... or-"
"yes please" she said quickly as he proceeded to shut it.
"I'm sorry" she said looking at him.
"for what?"
"for... everything. I mean-- I basically used you. and I thought, that you would one day like me back, and when you didn't, I just ghosted you and randomly popped out with one of your best friends, and I know how that looks. you must think I'm a slut, and maybe I am but I love ryan. I love him so much, which is why I'm afraid he's not going to like me anymore after he finds out about the video-- the video we made that one night, and I know you don't owe me anything, and I've acted like you were non existent-
"woah woah frankie? slow down. deep breaths okay?" he said as he cut off her rambling, and noticed she was crying.
"now... what are you going on about?" he said as she calmed down.
"the sex tape we made, drew" she said sniffing.
he starred at her for a moment; thinking as it came back to him,
"i deleted that once I realized we were done, for real" he said seriously.
"you did?" she said finally looking up at him.
"yeah... when I found out lenny liked you, I deleted it. it would be super weird to even still have that" he told her
"you can even go through my phone if you don't believe me, but I swear. I wouldn't do that to you, or ryan" he said starring at her for a second before holding up a pinky, something he knew frankie took very seriously.
"it's okay. I believe you-- but... did you ever tell or show anyone it?" she asked nervously rubbing her arms.
"no, I meant it when I told you it would stay between us"
frankie felt a huge weight come off her shoulders as she sighed.
"does ryan know that it existed?" he asked her.
"no, I'm scared to tell him. I really like him and I'm scared he's gonna look at me differently"
"look frankie, ryan's been in love with you since he met you, probably even more now that you've become this mature woman... and stop saying 'liked' you said you loved him earlier"
"I do. but I haven't told him and what if I say it to him and he doesn't say it back?" she said nervously
"well then you get rejected, you've been there before!" he said trying to cheer her up, something that made her throw a pillow at him.
"your an ass" she said laughing.
"look... I know we don't talk anymore, but I'm always here. I'll be a friend if you ever need one hughes" he said after a moment as frankie stood up.
"thank you forts, for everything. even rejecting me" she said as she brought him in for a hug.
they pulled apart as they heard the door open, revealing no there than ryan. who looked between them with a heart shattering look.
"ry-
"len-"
he shook his head before rushing down the stairs where the rest of the guys were.
"ryan, I need to explain-"
"you know, I really believed you when you said you were over him-"
"I am over him!"
"obviously!" he said pointing upstairs
"we were just talking-" drew tried to add
"SHUTUP" both frankie and ryan yelled at the poor guy in unison as ryan walked out of the hockey house.
"I'm over him ryan. i'm done having this fight-" frankie said following him, now just being the two of them outside.
"yeah? how could you be so sure?"
"because... I am. I.-- like you ryan." frankie said as she cringed, she couldn't tell him she loved him yet.
why not?
ryan frowned.
"well maybe you like two people then-"
"I know I don't like two people"
"yeah? how could you be sure?" he challenged
"because you can't love two people!" she said exhaustedly
this was enough to make ryan's world stop spinning, even if it was just for a moment.
"I love you ryan" she said sniffly as she walked closer to him, slowly as he smiled.
"yeah?" he teased her seeing as how red his girlfriend was getting. this was rare due to the fact the roles were always reversed between the two, whereas he was the one always getting red.
"you don't have to say it back or anything but I just need you to know that I love you. and I'm not saying this because I'm trying to make you forget that I was hugging drew earlier, but it's a long story- actually, it's not that long. look, if your gonna love me back, you need to know this. I made a sex tape with drew back when we were together, and I had totally forgotten until last night and-"
"a sex tape?" ryan asked again, as if he didn't hear right the first time,
"yes, but it doesn't exist anymore-- that's what a came to ask drew. I would never do... THAT to you" she told him
"why didn't you tell me you were coming then, I would of helped you or-"
"because-- I was scared you were gonna look at me differently, which I'm pretty sure you do now, anyways-"
"I do look at you differently now hughes" he told her as she looked down and fiddled with her fingers.
this was it, the only good thing you had in your life; you ruined.
"but only because when I look at you; now , I see the woman I love"
this made frankie look up as tears welled in her eyes.
"yeah?" she said pressing up against him.
"yeah." he said before smiling and wrapping his arms around her before he leaned down to kiss his girlfriend.
they pulled apart and leaned their foreheads on each other as they just smiled at one another.
"so you don't think i'm a whore" she asked
"never-- my girl likes sex, why would that be a problem?" he said as she playfully slapped his arm.
"your the best leonard" she said as she wrapped an arm around his neck and they walked sideways.
"your my favorite. pretty hughes"
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