#and I’m as sure as it’s possible to be that I have the same genetic predisposition to it that he does

[wazzappp]

@rokhal okay so you see heres the problem. You asked too many good questions so I opened a google doc to answer them and then things just got going and then I ended up with an entire summary of the story I have so far.

ALSO thank you @moosemonstrous for helping me puzzle through my fugnking ramblings

Also it is IMPORTANT that you know I had this song on repeat the entire time I was plotting my nefarious schemes

OKAY SO. I’m thinking Robbie is some sort of specialized stealth unit. He was originally designed for high level infiltration but was repurposed by the human resistance in the future. He has skin with a metal endoskeleton just like the usual terminators but he ALSO has those nanobots that allow him to heal at the same pace as a normal human. They also would help with repairing any damage to internal systems like wiring. They could also be what repurposes food to grow his metal endoskeleton. I’m debating on whether he can manually speed that up for an accelerated healing process because that would require a level of control over his machinery that I’m not sure it would make sense for him to have right after figuring out he’s a machine. Maybe with some practice he could do it. OHHHHH OR IF HES IN SOME SORT OF ‘EMERGENCY DEFENSE’ MODE IT ACCELERATES AUTOMATICALLY THAT COULD BE FUN!!! 

Also I really like the idea of him being able to heal with those nanobots but like. SPECIFICALLY for Gabe. They’re programmed to create synthetic flesh and skin but only for certain genomes. His and Gabes are similar enough that they can help repair tissue if he’s injured. Like being a blood donor for matching blood types.

STORY WISE HERE’S WHAT IM THINKING: Eli still exists in this universe and he’s still a massive shithead. Still pushes Mama Reyes down a flight of stairs while pregnant with Gabe (their soon to be first child), still a serial killer and still involved with the mob. But shortly after Gabe is born, Eli is caught and sentenced to prison for life. The mob figures he told his brother’s family so that makes them a liability. They kill Alberto and Julianna, but leave Gabe alone in his crib. This happens when he’s about 6 months old.

While this is happening, Robbie is time traveled into the back yard of their house. He goes inside and puts on whatever clothes he can find. When police show up to check after getting a noise complaint from the neighbors, they find what looks to be a 5 year old boy soothing a crying baby and a massive burned hole in the backyard they think is just some sort of already detonated explosive. Everyone just assumes this kid is his brother and they try to get him out of the house without letting him see his dead ‘parents’. He doesn't talk much but does answer that his name is Robbie when asked. 

Things get REALLY weird when they go to the police station and find… absolutely nothing about him. No birth certificate, no social security number, no history of schooling, not even their notoriously nosy neighbors know anything about him. The Reyes’s had not marked down a dependent on their tax forms until Gabe.  Even when they look at the possibility of him being an undocumented immigrant; NOTHING. Half the guys think he’s an illegal alien that slipped through the cracks of.. EVERY country and the other half think he’s an ACTUAL alien For all intents and purposes the kid in front of them does not exist. Eli isn’t much help when asked, he just assumes ‘that bitch of his turned him against me didn’t even tell me that I had a nephew already here god DAMN her’. 

They quickly start questioning whether they're actually brothers, but genetic tests determine that they are. That, and the absolute INSISTENCE of the boy that ‘This is my brother. I HAVE to keep him safe’.

So they do what just about anyone might do. Decide this weird magically appearing child is someone else’s problem, and put them into foster care. From there the story stays about the same for a while. They know Eli exists but they honestly couldn't give less of a shit about him. That guy is never getting out on parole lmao. Robbie catches up with social development and for the most part fits in pretty good (he never gets sick. Like ever. Never gets so injured he has to go to the doctor for emergencies. Just regular checkups, which he passes through with a few raised eyebrows but still good). He’s still a GENIUS with cars and works at Canelos. He understands them in a way that usually takes years of experience way beyond what Robbie has. Things are going.. Not GREAT but they’re okay. And then AMADEUS FUCKIGN SHOWS UP.

Skynet of the future has sent back a Terminator to kill Gabe. No one is really sure WHY but they figure if skynet is going to such lengths to kill this kid then he must be worth protecting. So the human resistance sends back Amadeus to find Gabe and keep him safe from this Terminator. 

He steals some clothes, a gun and a car(not like hes really planning on settling down here anyway who cares about a few broken laws)  shows up at the Reyes residence, meets Gabe.. and basically all his plans blow up. This is absolutely NOT the type of person he was expecting and he sure as shit doesn't want to go anywhere with this random stranger. So naturally he kidnaps Gabe and starts getting the fuck out of the city (while also starting work on an electromagnetic field reader that he thinks can help detect terminators).

Robbie shows up back home after grocery shopping and uhhhhh Gabes NOT THERE theres BROKEN SHIT IN HIS HOUSE and the neighbors keep talking about a STOLEN CAR and some maniac who stole from a GUN SHOP. So he does the only reasonable thing he can think of, checks Life 360 hoping that Gabe still has his phone on him (he does) gets into his car and starts hunting them down. Between his crazy driving skills and freakish persistence, Amadeus can only conclude that Robbie is the terminator sent to kill Gabe.

When Robbie finally heads them off at an abandoned warehouse Amadeus tries to pull Gabe along with him and run away. But when Robbie steps out of his car, Gabe recognizes him and starts trying to get there. Amadeus is panicked, pointing his gun at Robbie to try and keep him away and, at this point, VERY confused. Because he’s pulled out his EMF reader and is getting some absolutely WACK readings off Robbie but hes also very much so being deterred by the gun (terminators couldnt gibe two shits about guns thlse metal fuckheads eat bullets for breakfast). The readings shortly get even more wack when the ACTUAL Terminator sent to kill Gabe shows up. Amadeus fires a couple of shots into the Terminator to confirm what he already knew (subsequently freaking both Robbie and Gabe out sufficiently enough to confirm that at least Amadeus isn’t entirely crazy). They pile into the Reyes-mobile and peel off shortly before the terminator gets into Amadeus’ abandoned stolen car and starts going after them.

Robbie is doing his best to ask what the FUCK is actually going on while getting away but Amadeus is still double checking his EMF readings because Robbie is DEFINETLY not human but also clearly isn’t here to kill Gabe. Quickly puts two and two together that for SOME reason SOMEhow Robbie is here to PROTECT Gabe from this other Terminator. Amadeus is. A little distracted because of this and keeps asking Robbie about his ‘Programming’ (sort of a “WOW your programming must be good you REALLY think he’s your brother and thats WHY you have to protect him!” “WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT WHO WAS THAT GUY HOW DID HE KEEP WALKING AFTER YOU SHOT HIM” “It was a terminator keep up. Hey did you even TRY to call the police or did you just start coming after me because you knew it would be faster? Cause damnnnnn again. PROGRAMMING!”)

After finally losing the terminator that’s been on their tail, they find the police are not too happy about their reckless driving, arrest them and take them to the station to keep in a holding cell. While Robbie is in said holding cell with Amadeus (Gabe is presently being asked questions) there’s a police officer who recognizes him as that weird little kid who just appeared out of nowhere.

“Yeah we had absolutely NOTHING on you. It was like you hadn't existed until the day we found you!” So Robbie has to sit and listen to this while Amadeus is just confirming in his head what he already figured out. Being stuck in that cell trying to stay in denial with the guy whose favorite thing to say in the world is ‘I Told You So’ is not great. (un)Fortunately this is when the actual terminator shows up again.

This time, being faced with both the Terminator AND police trying to stop him from leaving, Robbies defense systems activate. He goes absolutely HAM on everyone in his way. He’s extremely default Terminator-like (Emotionless, distant, empty, quiet) in this state because all of his infiltration protocols have been halted. He even manages to fight off the other terminator decently well, but not before getting blasted in the arm with a shotgun shell. It goes deep enough that his metal endoskeleton is revealed. I also had this idea of like. His arm getting caught in something and he just stares at whoever trapped it there. Looks them dead in the eyes as he degloves his entire hand then beats the shit out of whoever got in his way with his metal fist. He stays in this state until they steal ANOTHER car, and he finally snaps out of it. And sees his hands covered in blood. And glimmers of his metal skeleton. And his brother looking at him in fear.

AND THATS WHAT IVE GOT RN I CAN'T WRITE LIKE YALL CAN I DON'T HAVE THE PATIENCE FOR IT I HAVE TO GET ALL OF THIS OUT LIKE RIGHT NOW SO YEAH UHHHHHHH ENJOY

[occasionallynotwatchingroger]

I have absolutely no idea what to do with my feelings

I don’t even know what feelings I am having

I’m not sure what’s real

And I can’t rely on myself… for anything really

I don’t know what to do with any of this except to ask myself what would a mentally well person do and then do that but with lots of breaks for being gentle to myself

[bluejutdae]

Stray Kids as dads

Chan: girl dad. The type of dad to learn how to braid hair so he can braid his daughter’s and make her all happy before school. He’d buy ice cream on their way back home, telling her to keep it a secret from mommy (he’ll tell you that same night, in bed, kissing the back of your neck and giggling, knowing that your daughter thinks they’re being sneaky).

Minho: could be either a girl dad or a boy dad. Could be both, and I’m sure he wouldn’t really raise his kids differently. There are no “boy toys” or “girl toys”. There’s toys and there's cats, and no you can’t pick up the cats like that you’ll hurt them. The kind of dad who loves to pick up his kids from school, and even host little get-togethers after school. He makes the kids snacks and lets them play, but only after the homework is finished!

Changbin: you can find more HERE but: mostly girl dad. He’d shamelessly go around wearing pink nail polish because his sweet sweet daughter wanted to play princess spa and wanted to paint Bin’s nails. And if he has star shaped hair clips in his hair during school drop off? That’s a fashion statement! Only hot dads will wear them. He lets his kids bury him under the sand when they’re on the beach, teaching them to swim and to laugh, not caring what people say.

Hyunjin: boy dad. Me-and-dad painting classes leader. Soccer mom. The one always ready to bring brownies (baked by Felix) to school and to sign up for parents-duty. I can also see him attend a prenatal class so he knows how to change diapers, feed the baby and so on…

Jisung: boy dad! the funniest dad! He buys inflatable dinosaur costumes for himself and his kid just so they can chase each other at the park, after they’ll eat ice cream and they’ll both come back with chocolate smudged on their adorable faces. The genetics are so strong there’s only 0.1% of possibility his kids won’t inherit his round boba eyes and squishy cheeks…

Felix: girl dad. Like Bin, he proudly goes around with painted nails and bows in his hair, glitters on his eyelids and silly necklaces. But he also likes rowdy games like chasing his kids in the garden or tossing them among the waves. On Sunday mornings he learns gg choreos with his daughter, laughing and singing, and when they need some fuel they bake cookies and brownies…

Seungmin: like Minho, either girl or boy dad. He’s the kind of dad other kids are scared of but he’s actually so sweet and loving! He always always sings his kid a lullaby before bed, never complains when another story is asked before sleeping, and always remembers to lit the night light (a puppy one he himself bought). He’s also the kind of dad to always attend his kid’s baseball practice, but he keeps yelling against the coaches and referees so you have to bribe him to make him quiet!

Jeongin: Boy dad. So good with kids in general, always calm, he never screams at his son even when he makes a mess. His kids spilled a glass of milk after repeated warnings? Jeongin takes a deep breath and cleans it all, with the help of the kid, so he’ll learn. But he’s also a fun dad, never focusing too much on school results, but focusing on his kid’s happiness and well being. Kids will be kids, so might as well have fun while raising them, right?

[saphronethaleph]

Gossip Girl

“Welcome back to Senate Eye,” Marko Biks said, smiling into the holocameras. “I’m Marko Biks, bringing you the latest in breaking news and stories. In the wake of the shake-up caused by the young queen of Naboo on her whirlwind visit to the capital, the question on everyone’s lips is: who will be the next Supreme Chancellor?”

Biks sat back in his chair, and holograms of all the contenders appeared. “As things currently stand, Sheev Palpatine from that very same planet of Naboo is the current favourite. With a long career as representative of his homeworld behind him, Palpatine is free of scandal and has good support among the polls… but how much of that is true? Senate Eye has an exclusive.”

The Zygerrian tapped his muzzle, then turned his chair, and the cameras zoomed out to show his guest. “Thank you for coming on with us.”

“It’s the least I could do,” the woman replied. “I felt like the Galaxy deserved to know.”

“Well, don’t keep everyone in suspense,” Biks told her. “Let’s hear it!”

“All right,” the woman replied, and squared her shoulders slightly.

She faced the camera. “My name is Rey, and – I had a difficult childhood. I was abandoned at the age of six by my parents on a world in the Inner Rim. I don’t know why for sure, but – well, they never came back, and I was always told that I was sold off for drinking money.”

Biks winced. “That’s terrible,” he said, shaking his head. “To sell a child like that… I may be Zygerrian but I know some practices should be left firmly in the compactor of history.”

Rey nodded, swallowing slightly. “Thank you, Biks.”

The host turned back to the holocameras himself. “A sad story, I know – but I’m sure our viewers are wondering why it’s relevant to Senate Eye! And I can reveal the exclusive details… because our support department did a genetic test, and Rey is none other than the daughter of Sheev Palpatine!”

“This isn’t about me,” Rey spoke up. “It’s about making sure that the galaxy knows the kind of person who might become their next Supreme Chancellor.”

“This is obvious nonsense,” Palpatine muttered, turning the holonet display off with an irritable button press, and looked at one of his closest allies. “Can’t we destroy that stupid program for this?”

“That would be difficult, Senator,” the aide said. “Because… well… they’ve provided evidence. To the courts, in a filing made just before the broadcast.”

Palpatine’s expression changed. “What? What kind of evidence?”

“Genetic tests and polygraphic examination,” the aide said. “The examination was very limited, you know how they are, it’s a demanding process-”

“I don’t give a damn about the polygraphic examination!” Palpatine snapped. “I have no daughter!”

“The genetic evidence disagrees, Senator,” the aide replied. “It’s an exact match – chromosome patterns that would only be possible for someone who was your biological daughter, and there’s no sign of forced-growth in her epigenome either.”

Palpatine’s eye twitched.

“That’s why they felt able to make the broadcast, I’d guess,” another one of his allies suggested. “Even if we did somehow manage to prove them wrong, that would take months, and they couldn’t even be penalized for it because they have all the evidence required to show why they said it – they were making a claim that they had a good-faith reason to believe was true.”

“Then find some other way to silence them!” Palpatine insisted. “This is going to ruin my chances for election!”

It was going to ruin his chances of ever becoming Supreme Chancellor. It would probably ruin his chances of being re-elected as Senator for Naboo, for that matter.

The Sith plan was destroyed, by a talk show.

And he couldn’t even work out how it could possibly have been done. Or why.

[since-times-long-forgotten]

@aiko-kpwc tumblr ate your ask :( But anyways! You’d suggested I draw Yellowfang, so here she is! Scruffy old lady >:)

(please click for better quality) but wait, that’s not all…

I also drew the Three as Yellowfang/Bluestar hypokits! I’ve kept Jay’s name the same, but I renamed Holly to Juniperkit (for her blue instead of green eyes), and Lion to Stormkit! I tried to stay accurate to genetics, so Lion/Storm has unfortunately lost his golden fur, which is why I renamed him lol

possible spoilers for power of three & yellowfang’s secret & bluestar’s prophecy under the cut, plus lots of writing!

In this hypothetical world, we have a few options. Option one: This litter follows Yellowfang’s litter’s path, and Jaykit and Stormkit take the place of Wishkit & Hopekit, thus dying at birth. Juniperkit takes on the role of Brokenstar, going all evil-murder-cat, but in a different way than Broken. Maybe she takes the warrior code to higher levels, or maybe she discards it. Possibilities are endless! Jayfrost, Juniperfall, Stormfang?

Second option: the litter follows Bluestar’s litter’s path, with Stormkit taking the place of Mosskit, and Jaykit & Juniperkit taking the place of Misty & Stone, being taken to ShadowClan. ooh wait, maybe we can mix stories…

Juniperkit, Jaykit, and Stormkit are born into ThunderClan by their mother Bluefur. All three kits survive their birth, and Blue brings them to ShadowClan to live with their other mom Yellowfang, who has to give the litter to Lizardstripe (just pretend timelines make sense). Lizardstripe is in a super difficult position— she doesn’t want kits, never really did, but got pregnant, and now three more kits are being forced upon her by the Clan leader Raggedstar. She’s not a good mother, and honestly who can blame her? Well. The majority of ShadowClan can, I guess. But then Storm and Jay die from a sickness, Juniper blames Yellowfang and Raggedstar— Yellowfang for not healing her brothers, Ragged refusing to let Yellowfang treat Storm and Jay because they were too far gone. The ghosts of Jay and Storm kind of follow Juniper around, and they stay kits whilst Juniperkit grows to an apprentice, and then a warrior— Juniperfall, perhaps? She discovers she has a power (instead of Jay&Lion having powers and Holly not, now Juniper has powers & Jay&Storm don’t) to… idk, see the dead? Fade into shadows/go invisible? Juniper is super protective over young cats now, but also has a grudge against Ragged and Yellow, due to her brother’s deaths. She becomes deputy, then kills Raggedstar by making him eat deathberries (👀 deathberries… woah… haven’t seen that before I’m sure… (looks at Hollyleaf and Leafpool) ). But after killing him… she can no longer see Jay and Storm. She can see other dead cats, but her brothers have left her. They are afraid of who she has become, and honestly, it scares her too. She becomes Juniperstar, and tries to fix her wrongs, but in a way where she actually is being kind of evil, but has a reason for being evil, protective, etc etc, stuff like that. She steals kits to raise them in ShadowClan to be safer, trains them from a younger age so that they’re stronger sooner and hopefully won’t die young (this backfires at a few different points probably). Alright that’s all I’ve got!

[kywaslost]

Good day! Could you make a Ciel x reader where the Ciel has a crush on the reader who is Lizzy’s sister (for the sake lest say Lizzy and Ciel ended to engagement) the thing is the reader is the only one in the Midford family to have dark hair (from a grandparent) and she gets very insecure about it, feeling like a black sheep in her family. Lizzy and everyone is very kind to her it’s just she constantly feels left out because she has a very different personality compared to her sister and brother. She feels very out of place during photo’s with her family. And especially during parties when people talk about her either being adopted or the cause of her mother being unfaithful. She just is naturally much more moody, and she doesn’t have as many friends unlike Lizzy because she just brings the mood down.

Sorry if it’s a lot, have a good day!

Odd One Out - Ciel Phantomhive

A/N: I decided to post this one a day early! I only have one class today and have a lot of free time at the moment. So sorry this took so long!

Not gonna lie, I had to do some research for this one. I’m a sucker for genetics, and so I got super excited for this one. Blonde hair is an autosomal recessive trait, meaning both parents have to be blond. Since both Midford parents are blonde, all of their children have to be blonde, that’s how I learned it. But I did some research to see if there’s mutations or something that can cause dark hair in children born from two blondes. I’ll try my best to simplify what I’ve found. 

Melanin is a polymer, and it is most often known as the polymer that gives skin, hair, and eyes its color. By what I can understand, there are two types of melanin: eumelanin and pheomelanin. Lots of eumelanin produces black or brown hair, whereas pheomelanin produces red hair. Blonde hair is produced by very little eumelanin. Melanocortin 1 Receptor (MC1R) is responsible for determining hair color. Mutations in the MC1R gene can cause red or auburn hair. 

For the sake of this fanfic, let’s just say there’s a mutation in the reader’s production of eumelanin cause I can’t find any way for two blonds to produce a dark-haired kiddo. And yes, I know this is a fanfic but listen people my love for science is strong so fiction or not I’m gonna make my details as accurate as possible. Anyway, hope you enjoy, and here are my sources <3

You were the black sheep of the family in every way possible. Literal or not, others found great joy in pointing out every difference between you and your siblings, especially when it comes to your appearance. It’s difficult to explain to others why you bear little resemblance to your family. Sure, you had your mother’s build and your father’s eyes, but that was as far as it went. You didn’t have the same hair color as your parents and siblings.

It’s common knowledge that two blonde parents bear a blonde child, yet you had dark auburn hair. After years and years of torment and rumors of your mother being unfaithful, or that you were adopted, you began researching why you were the way you were. There wasn’t much out there, but you did discover that you had some type of genetic mutation dealing with hair color. That’s why it was so difficult to explain to others why your hair was so different from your family’s, they didn’t have the same extent of knowledge as you did. 

It didn’t help that you were also extremely different personality wise. Your sister Lizzy was very outgoing and extroverted, never hesitating to host parties or to meet new people. Your brother Edward, on the other hand, was very stoic and serious. He didn’t tolerate much of anything, and was very protective over you and your sister. But you weren’t much like your siblings. You often kept to yourself, only spoke when spoken to, and were generally just very independent. Growing up, the only real friends you had were your siblings, and your twin cousins.

Now that you’re older, you are even more independent. You spent less and less time with your family, often opting to stay in your room or going off on your own into the city. Your family constantly tried to get you to go to events with them, such as going to balls, parties, and even things as simple as family outings, but you couldn’t help but feel out of place. People constantly stared at you, and you couldn’t help but notice their hushed whispers as you walked by with your family. 

You were grateful that your family didn’t see you the same way the rest of the world did. Your parents treated you no differently than your sister and brother. If anything, they tried their hardest with you to try and make you feel more comfortable and confident in yourself. Lizzy constantly wanted to be with you, doing your hair and makeup to spend some quality time with you. She took you dress shopping, and tried to cheer you up in that sort of way. 

Because of your discomfort around your family, you often spent a lot of time with your cousin Ciel. His servants never treated you any differently than they did the rest of your family, and the boy’s Estate overall felt like a safe place for you. Ciel was always willing to let you vent to him, whether it be about how people had been treating you or how you were thinking of yourself, he always had advice to offer. 

What he never would confess, however, was his feelings for you. His engagement with Lizzy ended just over a year ago, and it was all because he realized he had feelings for you instead. Watching you change throughout the years broke his heart, how you became more independent and less willing to socialize and go out. 

You were staying a few nights at the manor to spend some time with Ciel. You had been having a particularly hard time, and you thought it best to spend some time with the boy. He greeted you with open arms, and immediately ordered Sebastian to prepare your favorite meal for dinner. You fell into your cousin’s arms, tearing up as he held you tightly. 

“May I ask what brings you here?” CIel asks calmly as he hugs you. He can feel your tears soaking into his shirt and he becomes even more worried. 

You sniffed as you pulled away from Ciel, wiping at your eyes. “I’m sorry, it’s just been a really long week.”

Ciel frowned, gently taking your arm and leading you inside. “Come, tell me about it.” You were led inside the Estate and to the sofa beside the fireplace. Ciel draped a light blanket over your shoulders as he sat beside you. Taking your hand in his, his blue eye met your E/C ones. “What happened?”

You began to cry harder as you recalled the events of the past week. Ciel listened as you told him about the hushed whispers and not-so-hidden stares followed your every move at a ball you attended with your family. Then how you stepped out of your comfort zone to speak to girls your own age at said ball, and how they giggled to each other as they ignored you and walked away.

Ciel wrapped you tightly in a hug, pulling you so your legs are draped over his lap and your face is buried in his shoulder. “Look at this,” you sniffle, reaching for your bag at the end of the couch. Ciel released you from his arms as you dug through your bag, pulling out a photo. You replaced yourself on CIel’s lap, handing him the photo. His warm hands brushed against your own as he took the image.

“This is a lovely photo,” he smiled softly. It was a printed image of the most recent family photo taken three days ago. Your father held your mother’s waist, Edward on his other side and Lizzy standing beside your mom. You were beside your sister. Ciel was right, it was a lovely photo. But the longer he looked at it, he noticed everyone’s bright smiles, and then you. It looked as if you were near tears, barely able to hold your smile long enough to take the photo.

“Honey,” Ciel coos quietly. This was very uncharacteristic of the Earl. He never showed this much empathy and emotion towards someone before.

“I hate this photo,” you cried as you rested your head on his shoulder once again.

“Why?”

“I look so out of place!” You pointed to yourself in the picture. “I hate that I was born this way! Why did I have to have this mutation?”

Ciel set the picture aside, wrapping you in his arms again and running a hand down your back. “I think you’re beautiful,” his voice was soft as he whispered in your ear. “Genetic mutation or not, I love the way you look, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.” CIel continued to hold you until you fell asleep in his arms. As he carried you to your designated room, he whispered to you. 

“I don’t understand why others treat you this way, and I wish they would stop just as much as you do. But I love you, Y/N, and I would give everything to have you in my life. Genetic mutation or not, you are beautiful just the way you are.”

[chimkin-samich]

Hiya! It’s been a while since I asked you lot a question. (Also I’m sorry if I ask to many questions. My friends call me Whiskers cause I’m curious like a cat 🐈.)

Anyways, I have two strange questions: 1. In the Mermaid AU, are Sun and Moon more fish-like, reptilian, or mammal-like? Also, how exactly do mer people… breed/reproduce? It’s a weird question, I know. It’s been bugging me for a while. If you don’t know, just say nothing or make shit up.

I also created characters inspired by your artwork for my fanfic The Royal Blooded Assassin. Thank you for creating such amazing artwork and stories, I really enjoy them 🫶

Aaaaaa so happy you asked since we got into the deep world building of this not long ago, ima put it under a read more cuz it’s prob gonna be long lol

Also added some merboys lore at the end of how they met since with the world building it makes more sense

AND AAAAAA VERY HAPPY WE INSPIRED YOU TO MAKE CHARACTERS BITING BITING

The merboys are a combination of fish and reptile, their skin is more reptile scale like (think of a shark skin but not as sharp) since it helps them cut through the water much easier which allows them to be able to shoot through the water with a sudden quick flick of their tail (especially Moon since he hunts like a great white, attacking with a burst of speed from below)

Although there are mammal like Mers based on whales and dolphins that have blubber like skin, mers come in large variety’s just the boys are in the similar subspecies Sun is a lion fish, moon is an angler and eclipse is a hybrid of a non-venomous lion fish (that’s why he doesn’t have spines like sun) and angler

As for mating and breeding, fish like mers like the boys are polyamorous, they tend to mate in groups of 3 and more with usually 1 female and multiple males, the males aren’t always mates with each other but it’s not a must, it’s usually done since it allows them to provide for their young and the female more efficiently as well as genetic diversity (a mer can genetically have 3-4 parents)

They are able to change their sex so if their are say 2 females and 1 male one of them will change to make the ratio be 1 F and 2 M and vice versa If say it’s 3M one of them (usually the most dominant) will become the female, the only difference is those that swapped sex aren’t as fertile but it’s not a major issue just a bit more difficult to conceive (females that were originally male do have smaller clutches tho so instead of the usual 5-6 it’s 2-4)

Mammal like mers are the opposite but they do have larger family pods with more generations, they are also matriarchal like the boys pods (it’s the majority but not the rule that all mers are matriarchal)

Fish mers either group in just mated partners like Moons pod was only his parents and siblings, but sometimes another group will be in the same territory, its never more than 3 family groups to a pod, Suns pod was the opposite being a much more social species they group into large groups of up to 3-5 family groups

Gonna add some more stuff like their habits and such since ima already typing lol,

Mers stay in their pods up until their about 12, once they reach that age their forced out to prove themselves in the wilds on their owns, and they can’t attempt to return until their at least 18, it’s a way of both making sure the most adaptable make it to adulthood and population control, they want to make sure the mers in the group are able to help sustain the group, but most mers usually end up forming their own groups since it’s also a period for them to find possible mates, sometime (in Suns species case at least) mers will return with their partners to add into their original family group, making the pod a bit bigger but it’s not very common

Mers also begin having heats near the age of 14 so that’s where the mate finding part comes in

And for a bit of lore with the boys now that y’all know this

Eclipse was a hybrid, his mother (sun sub species) was attacked by a lone desperate mer (moons species) in heat and eclipse was the only one to survive in the clutch, he stuck around until the age of 10 due to his mother protecting and teaching him, but when she was killed in a hunt he was casted out by the dominant male (rare but it happens that a male can lead the pod), he was already nearing the size of an adult (he has gigantism and double arms due to being a hybrid) at that age so it felt like a threat to them, so off he went into the wild until later finding Sun at the age of 15 and Moon at the age of 17

Sun was separated from his pod during an attack when he was about 10 and was on his own for a few months before Eclipse caught him snooping around his territory, Sun would have been terrified of Eclipse if weren’t for the fact that the fins around his head look similar to his own, so he figured it was someone of his species and latched on immediately, Eclipse being lonely and a complete sweetheart adopted him into his solo pod on the spot

Moon joined the group at around 13-14, he had been having a horrible time during his coming of age trial since he was a bigger loner than his species already once and refused to really sit down and listen when his parents tried to teach him survival skills, He meets sun first when he enters their cave looking for food, which Sun was eating, Sun seeing him starving hands it to him and once he’s finished Moons exhaustion and loneliness catches up and he cuddles up to sun, Eclipse finds them and just adopts Moon on the spot as well

Their ages go (at least once they mate with Tari)

Sun:32 Moon:33 Eclipse:37

Sun and Moon were separated from Eclipse when they were 15 and 16 when they were captured, Eclipse does end up finding them since a few years after they disappeared he goes back to his nomadic lifestyle of before, so they rejoin together when sun and moon are about 30-31, Since he caught their scent when they went back to their old cave hoping eclipse would be there before beginning to look for Tari after she helped them escape the aquarium

Eclipse does end up trying to kill Tari when he sees her for the first time cuz he smells their scent on him and assumes she did something to them, she blinds him for a few days cuz she pokes his eyes escaping his grasp before getting attacked by Sun and Moon, Hes cold towards her the first few months but warms up as he sees the interactions between her and the other 2, his hard shell fully cracks tho when she first says she thinks he’s pretty

The only others that had called him pretty were the researchers constantly searching for him (he has forums dedicated to him cuz of how unique he is) but it felt detached like just saying a painting is pretty, and Sun and Moon but they preferred calling him cool, so when someone hes starting to get along with calls him pretty that hard ass attitude basically disappears and he begins his own courting not long after lol

Eclipse isn’t considered attractive by his species standards because of the discoloration and double arm mutation so he has some self esteem issues in that regard, they went away when Sun and Moon were in his pod since they never judged him but came back in his isolation, Tari helps to ebb that away again once they start getting along and more when he begins his courting

Also Their basically immortal (like lobsters) but it’s really rare to find one that’s lived longer than 2 centuries most tend to die at the age of 70-90 due to you know living in the wilds

[nocturni3]

Miguel O’Hara x male reader: Dinner plans

Part 2 Canon tragedy

(TW: mentions of childhood abuse, cheating, toxic family, family issues, past relationship drama, blowjob, phone call during sex, NSFW, anal fingering, cum swallowing, possibly incorrect Spanish)

It was their one day off from working, and instead of spending it with just himself and his loving other half m/n; they were rushing around the apartment rushing to look presentable for a dinner M/n had insisted was long since due.

Meeting Miguel O’hara’s family, or the small family Miguel had which included his distant cold shouldered mother and his equally distant little brother Gabriel. Both Miguel loved but the same couldn’t be said the other way around.

For shock's sake they both still despised him for his career path in Alchemax. But after seeing what he’s seen the past few weeks working “late nights” as Spider-Man and seeing the brutality done to the citizens in Downtown Miguel was beginning to feel sick at himself at the privileged higher class life both him and m/n had built themselves; off the backs of the same people he saves from the same company him and M/n work for.

He’s just thankful that you at least worked in the more “innocent” part of the company. Making medical equipment for the city's hospitals and small clinics. But not Miguel, he constantly watched all the genetic failures Alchemax makes day in and day out, placing a strong divergence in his morals. Quitting wasn’t an option, not when Miguel was Alchemaxs head genetic and engineering scientist in his department of Alchemax. Tyler Stone probably wouldn’t even bother drugging Miguel next time. He’d just skip straight to killing Miguel and be done with it before the twisted bastards next board meeting.

On top of the twisted bastard having his eyes on M/n anytime Miguel and him go out together for their lunch breaks, no Miguel had no choice but to stay, to find Alchemaxs secrets and destroy them slowly as Spider-Man. A part of himself still hid from M/n despite hearing your approval of this new age hero.

“Miguel! Have you seen my one watch?”

Miguel’s head snapped back up to reality looking down at his failed attempt of a tie, hearing your urgency Miguel undid his tie popping his head from your shared room seeing you facing away from him bending down to the floor to look under the coffee table.

The suit you wore hugged you in all the right areas, especially your ass-

“Yes I know my ass is very distracting O’Hara but can you get over here and help me look please?”

Clearing his throat Miguel chuckled making his way over to you, long giving up on the tie for now.

“Why do you need your watch anyways we’re just meeting my oh so supportive and wonderful family”

M/n rolled his eyes and sighed as he sat up on the table as Miguel continued searching the couch for his boyfriends old outdated watch. Crossing your legs you look at Miguel, a look that spoke words and Miguel knew what you were going to say before you did.

“Yes I know I should at least try and fix at least me and Gabe's relationship, but love I’m telling you they both won't be welcoming for either of us. Knew that the moment I went to school”

M/n knew this to unfortunately be true of many struggling families who chose to work for the corrupt corporations for a chance for a stable easy life . M/n and Miguel both knew this more than most.

M/n and Miguel met at Alchemaxs high school for gifted youth. When he was dating the smartest girl in school; Xina Kwan. And even then he was very close chested about his family, he wouldn’t even tell Xina much and after they broke it off and Miguel started dating Dina Miguel never spoke much aside from small mentions of Gabe being a hard ass about Miguel’s choice in company schooling.

It was only after Dina stormed away from Miguel at a party after he confessed he just wasn’t in love with her clingy behavior anymore. That same night you made sure your best friend made it back to his dorms safely after he drank himself into a pit. Did you learn from a drunk and slurred conversation with Miguel that he was the black sheep of the family, that his mom despised him for looking so much like his abusive father. That Gabe only talked to him still out of pity.

You comforted Miguel that night the best way you could, avoiding Miguel’s drunken want for a kiss. Stating if he still remembered tonight and felt the same after his hell of a Hangover tomorrow you’d consider kissing his kicked puppy looking face.

A bet Miguel won.

Regardless of the past you knew Miguel tried his best to avoid talking to his brother and his girlfriend who both know were leading a downtown rebellion against Alchemax; after all the less either of you knew the better.

Not to mention Miguel only visiting his mother if Gabe asked him to come. M/n didn’t have a family, both parents dead and being raised in an abusive poorly funded orphanage; the only thing close to family was his outdated watch that belonged to his dad. A watch he knew Miguel didn’t understand the broken watches value fully, only that you’ve worn the old thing since the two of you met.

Sighing M/n walked over to a stressed Miguel who in his own mind was trying his hardest to not lose focus on keeping his talons hidden, a feat that was a struggle when he was stressed like he was in this moment. That was until he felt the warmth radiating off M/n whose hand gently pulled Migue away from the couch to face him. Miguel’s body relaxed some at his boyfriend's hands fixed Miguel’s suit before started to tie the long forgotten tie.

“I know this dinner with them wasn’t your idea hun, but wouldn’t it ease some of the stress you’ve been under?”

Miguel raised an eyebrow his hands resting on your hips.

“What stress? I’m fine-“

M/n hmmed pulling the red tie tightly up to Miguel’s collar before shoving it into his suit, patting Miguel’s broad chest.

“Famous last words, hot stuff; you're not fine, don’t think all my staring was just on that handsome face O’Hara. Anytime Gabe calls and asks if you’ve found a girl yet so his girlfriends can stop pestering him to go on a double date. Or even the time your mom called to pester you for not dating like Gabe. Love, wouldn’t it be easier to just rip the bandage off. Worse comes to shove it’ll be an awkward night of questions then we come home and I help you forget it.”

Miguel smirks, careful to not show his fangs before shoving his face into your neck breathing in your expensive cologne he’s always found attractive on you. His hands slowly make their way to grab your ass. Your hands were too slow to stop as Miguel’s strong grip pulled you close enough to press your bodies together. Your small whine had Miguel get turned on combined with your scent under the cologne the way your body just fit with his had Miguel reeling at his luck of having someone like you in his arms right now.

His rough voice whispered into your ear as you tilted it more, exposing your neck to Miguel’s lingering lips.

“Why not help me forget now?”

M/n moaned softly the thought was oh so tempting to just ditch this stressful dinner to have passionate sex with your hottie of a boyfriend. That was until your eyes cracked open, spotting the small metallic old watch sitting on the dining room table. You reacted with a mix of relief and teasing as you escaped from Miguel’s grip running to the table grabbing that old thing.

“That’s where it was!”

You could hear Miguel groan, looking over your shoulder you saw the state he was in a huge tent clearly showing in his pants. Looking at the holo clock on the wall seeing you had a good 30 or so minutes to get to the restaurant you guys should be fine to…indulge.

Miguel stood rubbing his face at M/n’s clear teasing at this point. His brat of a boyfriend had a way to bend Miguel to his whim even now as Miguel feels M/n hand on his neck.

“Ready to head out, Amor?”

Opening his reddish brown eyes clearly sees the mischief in your E/C eyes. To his shock you pushed him into the couch Miguel didn’t have much time to react as M/n leaned over him his arms either head of Miguel’s head gripping the back of the couch. Your hot breath ghosted against Miguel’s cheek to his ear which you didn’t hesitate to bite his lob; your lust shaking breath as you spoke had Miguel become breathless; feeling your hands unbuckle his belt, then pants.

“I think we can make a quick detour don’t you?”

Miguel sighed feeling your hands grope his balls, your hand palming his growing aching cock that didn’t seem to be going down anytime soon.

“Oh shock yes”

Your free hand caressed his jaw before lifting Miguel’s face to look at yours, everything paused as Miguel took in the power you gave off, from your eyes, your posture, even that smirk. He gave him leaning forward, crashing your lips to his, your hand gripping his hair as both of you gave into your urges. Miguel desperately trying his best to keep his fangs from poking your lips as they collided once more.

Both panting as they separated, faces red with lust; Miguel watches as you got to your knees, that old watch of yours bounced the dimmed lights from the apartment as your hands pulled Miguel’s boxers down enough for his cock to spring free from the constricting fabric.

The blood seemed to rush both to Miguel’s head and cock feeling M/n hot breath kiss the tip of the reddening head. The moan that escaped Miguel’s parted lips as the heat of his boyfriend's mouth took the aching, twitching cock all at once.

Miguel wanted to cover his mouth, to keep the erotic sounds from escaping again but Miguel felt hands intertwining with his; gripping tightly preventing him from covering his mouth as a whimpered gasp escaped Miguel’s parted lips.

M/N could feel his own cock swell from the noises Miguel was making, the desperate tugs he’d make to get his hands out of M/n’s iron grip. To cover his mouth but M/n won’t let him, he wanted to listen to all of Miguel’s whines,whimpers, groans, and moans as he sucked him dry.

Taking Miguel nearing out of his mouth, M/n blew cold air onto the pre-leaking cock. Listening to Miguel whimper before running his hot tongue lapping up the pre. Miguel sighs and moans filled the apartment echoing slightly, the sight was breathtaking. Watching Miguel’s muscles tense but go weak with each joint of pleasure your mouth provided him as if sucking him dry of any strength he had left. Yourself moan with his cock shoved back into your mouth loving the feeling of his cocks weight on your tongue.

His head was thrown back as you pushed past your gagging reflex feeling the twitching, desperate cock wanting more, Miguel wanting more.more of you, more of the torturous teasing. To grab your hair and just-

Miguel’s hips thrusted up making your unexpected throat clenched around the cock shoved within it, you gagged the feeling of your throat tighten around his clock head Miguel pant at the constant stimulation you gave him. your head bobbed going as far up; to tease Miguel, before falling all the way down his cock taking in the immense scent of sex and sweat as your nose and lips pressed momentarily into the well trimmed public hair.

The bitter saltery taste of pre sneering in the back of your throat only makes you want more. Letting go of Miguel’s hands you take hold of his thighs traveling your hands from the inner thighs to Miguel’s hips pressing your nails into his skin before gripping his ass the best you could.

Without hesitation Miguel tangled his hands into your hair. Pulling it to the fast rhythm he much preferred. You knew exactly what he liked, what drove him mad as you hmmed around his cock, the vibrations nearly sending Miguel over, if his pre cum was and indication, he was close. The knot in his stomachs was growing nearly unbearable, both pain and pleasure all blending together into a pool of mental gymnastics of if he would or wouldn’t cum.

Miguel creaked open his eye to look down at your once styled hair now a mess intertwined in his fingers, Miguel groaned seeing your lips swollen from the abuse they were enduring. Your face was a shade of red Miguel couldn’t get enough of as he untangled his hand from your hair rubbing away the stray tears that managed to break from your eyes.

“You’re so good to me, so good at sucking me off”

Miguel mumbled. Seeing your hand slide up his suit to his chest, chuckling Miguel grabbed the hand knowing full week what you intended to do. And shock, did he want it desperately, keeping his fangs as hidden as he could as he ran his hot tongue over the two fingers. Watching as you looked at him before thrusting the rest of his thick cock down your throat. Miguel moaned around the fingers as they hooked behind his bottom teeth keeping Miguel’s mouth wide open, the saliva that started collecting in his mouth began to drip globs out of his mouth, some ran down your fingers and arm.

Taking his cock out of your bruised mouth you took a long look at Miguel, face a deep shade of red, sweat forming on his forehead, his body quaking; all while your free hand jerked his cock at an unbearable pace watched as he moaned your fingers still in his mouth, now playing with his tongue, coating your finger in a thick coat of his spit.

“Shock, I wish I had a fucking camera right now, what do you think your family would think of you then; seeing a picture of your slutty face, that mouth of yours wide open dripping spit everywhere from the sheer thought of cumming. Is that what you want?”

M/ns voice deepened his lips pressing to Miguel’s forehead before Miguel could form any words he heard his watch buzzing, M/n gave a dark chuckle at his boyfriends tension upon seeing the caller ID being that of,

‘Gabe’

Smirking down at Miguel M/n leaned down biting Miguel’s neck earning a gasp from Miguel as his body shook,

“Answer it, don’t worry love he won’t know as long as you're quiet”

Miguel froze, his eyes widening at M/n who simply took his fingers from his mouth before sinking back down between Miguel's spread legs, yanking Miguel's thick muscular thighs over his shoulder. M/n licked his lips as he took the hard, throbbing cock back into his mouth while his finger circled Miguel’s hole, gently probing it.

Miguel stiffened a moan from escaping m, looking down at his watch that projected Gabes caller ID. Looking down at M/n whose eyes stared right at Miguel before deep throating him. His body shook the tightness in his stomachs tightened more and more as pleasure built up.

He pressed answer,

“Miguel, you finally shocking answered, where are you? Me and mom are waiting but these fancy upper pigs won’t let us in without you!”

“O-oh uh yeah we’re on our way now sorry traffic-“ Miguel bit into his hand as the first finger pushed past his tight muscle, teasing around everywhere but his prostate.

“We? Who’s we? Holy shit are you telling me you finaly found a chick-ow! Karyn what was that shockin for!”

“You moron will you show some maturity Gabe”

Miguel sighed looking down at M/n who looked at bliss sucking and fingering Miguel, his tongue ran around his cock, his throat tightening with each deep throating- fuck.

“Mmh”

Miguel moaned before pausing seeing that the call was still on, looking down at M/n who’s eyes eyed him.telling him he was loosening his fight.

“Um Miguel you good dude?”

Clearing his throat Miguel fought another moan as the second finger began scissoring him.

“Y-yeah, sorry t-took a drink and it went down the wrong pipe.”

“Hey, save some of the expensive corporate junk for us!”

Karyn yelled, Miguel sighed again, the knot tightening to the point he threw his hand to his boyfriend's head, gripping his hair for support as he continued to suck.

“I will don’t worry there’s enough for everyone-ow!”

Miguel felt a pinch at his inner thighs, staring wide eyed at M/n who glared at him.

‘Stop trying to change who you talk to’ that glare spoke.

“Yo Miguel you sure your good-”

“Gabe tell them the reservation is under the names: Miguel O’Hara and M/n L/N”

“Hold on who’s M/n? That doesn’t sound like a chicks name-“

Miguel felt the irritation of his impending climax and frustration at his dense brother, all nursing in an outburst that M/n wasn’t prepared for, as his fingers thrusted dead on Miguel’s prostate at the same time as he deepthroated him with a low moan as he buried his nose into Miguel’s public hair; tipping Miguel over the edge as he yelled and panted. His body shook;

“He’s not a fucking chick you moron his my boyfriend!”

“What!” Miguel faintly heard his mothers shouting in the background before Miguel hung up. Throwing his head back at the reliefs of both the knot in his stomach snapping in an explosion of pressure.his grip of M/n’s hair was a rush for M/n as he moaned as well feeing himself climaxing his head a blank White Sea of stars as he desperately swallowed as much of Miguel’s cum as he could, some managing falling down his chin as he moaned with Miguel’s guttural almost feral groan as he gripped M/ns hair with one hand and with the other Miguel pushed his hair away from him sweat covered forehead.

All stress flooded out of Miguel in more ways than one as M/n worked him through his leg shaking climax by sucking what was left out of Miguel’s cock while he rubbed Miguel’s thigh, his fingers working gently out of the tightening hole. Before sighing a breath of fresh air, leaning his head onto Miguel’s thigh as Miguel’s grip began to loosen to soothing M/n’s now sore head as he caught his breath. Both stayed like this for a while basking in the afterglow. Before Miguel sighed looking down at his boyfriend who looked worriedly up at him. Before speaking, his voice was rough from their activity , as he took Miguel’s hand into his. Playing with Miguel’s fingers.

“We don’t have to go, hun if you don’t want to anymore I can understand that.”

Miguel frowned at M/n see the look of guilt and overthinking Miguel knew M/n was doing; he was blaming himself to which MIguel pulled M/n onto his lap taking his chin and pulling him into a gentle kiss against the bruised lips faintly tasting his own cum on M/n tongue before separating.

“ nah I think now I want to go more than ever just to see their reaction to my breathtaking boyfriend I screamed about, besides I don’t think I’ll hear the end of it from mom or Gabe if we don’t go and make an appearance. What was it you said? Worse comes to shove it’ll be an awkward night of questions then we come home and you help me forget it…again”

M/n laughed taking Miguel’s face in both hands before pressing their foreheads together,

“Word for word handsome but I think we need to wash up again we reek of sex.”

“Shower together?”

Both smiled love in their eyes as they both gazed at the other remembering this moment like many others Miguel didn’t want to let this go, let you go no matter what.

Part 3

(It took me two days to write this masterpiece. I hope I did good? It’s been a bit since I last wrote smut and Miguel is a character I see going either way and all a bit of angst splashed into it as well! Let me know what you thought of it and I hope you all liked it!)

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I don’t know if you’ve been asked this but I wanted to ask your opinion on something regarding Fellow Honest and Gidel.

So, we know that at the end of the “Stage in Playful Land” event, Kalim pretty much offers Fellow a spot as a student in NRC, but Fellow declines citing that he doesn’t want to go to a school with a bunch of brats AND he wants to make his own school that admits low magic users and non magic users.

I think this fits him perfectly and I won’t say that it’s dissatisfying for Fellow and Gidel’s story to end this way, but do you think that - had the events been more intertwined with the main story - Fellow could’ve potentially started going to NRC at some point? Like do you think it would make sense for him to both want to create this school AND prepare himself via getting a proper education?

The ending was so fitting for the type of person Fellow is and what he dreams of accomplishing. He’s trying to carve out his own path in the world with Gidel at his side! There’s both a bittersweetness and hope in that kind of a finale.

Now, to the question. This may sound a little cynical (please stick with me for a moment!!) 💦 but I don’t think studying at Night Raven College would help Fellow in opening his own school. Of course, getting an education is important—however, I firmly believe that NRC is not the right place for Fellow to get that education. (This won’t stop TWST from probably making a playable Fellow card for Halloween 2024 though, I suspect that it’ll be a temporary or non-main story canon situation like Rollo.)

The first hurdle to overcome is actually convincing Fellow to enroll. I don’t believe him turning down Kalim’s invite was just for convenience or to keep event characters separate from the main story; it genuinely makes more sense for his character to not want to go right back into the system he despises, the system that tossed him out to begin with. He has not only distrust in the elite (and literally just came out of a hard situation where the elite controlled him), but too much pride in himself to allow for that. Another issue is that even if it is Kalim extending the offer, he actually has little say in whether or not Crowley will let Fellow in. (I’m not counting monetary bribes here yet because that’s an unfair advantage for Kalim to get literally anyone in.) If we’re being pragmatic, Kalim is oversimplifying the solution to Fellow’s issues, just the same as Kalim offering an overly simple solution for Jamil’s woes in book 4. We have no idea how realistic this enrollment would be for Fellow.

Assuming Fellow is convinced to give it a shot and does get into NRC courtesy of a large donation from the Asims… then what? Sure, Fellow does stand to gain from an affiliation with NRC but that's pretty much ONLY if he manages to earn that coveted diploma and formally graduates. Many of the classes beyond year 1 demand a substantial amount of magic in order to complete the coursework. Fellow canonically does not have a ton of magic to spare, so it's doubtful whether or not he would be able to pass those classes or make it to fourth year internships (which is when you can really take advantage of NRC's connections in various industries). It's a similar situation as Yuu, who has no magic at all and wouldn't be able to even participate in the higher level courses without Grim doing all the magical tasks for them. We know it's very possible to drop out of these magic schools (as Riddle references that no student has dropped out since he took on the role of dorm leader + a NPC in book 5 is stated to be a magic school dropout). Who's to say this wouldn't be Fellow's fate if he can't handle the magic curriculum? Yes, he can certainly give it a try if he wants to and his efforts shouldn't be insulted. However, the fact of the matter is that he most likely would not be able to physically keep up with his peers (through admittedly no fault of his own, it's not like he can control his genetic makeup).

Another thing is, what exactly does NRC have to offer Fellow that would actually help him with getting the knowledge to set up his own school? NRC is meant to specifically train mages (and mainly for jobs which demand magical capabilities). Fellow wants to establish his own school, which in of itself does not require a magic degree or any sort of magic education. Furthermore, he details that his school would admit non and low magic users, and will focus on teaching "true life lessons". None of this inherently requires any knowledge or training in magic, which, again, is NRC's specialty. The only practical skills classes that NRC offers seem to be electives like Culinary Crucibles/Master Chef (which, conveniently, do not require magic), and those can be learned anywhere, not exclusively at NRC. I guess my question would be... What is the point of Fellow studying at NRC if he 1) would have a hard time with the magic demands of several classes, 2) most of what NRC teaches is not applicable to his long-term goals, and 3) he could easily learn the practical skills he values so much elsewhere? It's a time sink that doesn't benefit him as much as he needs it to.

If Fellow wants to attend school or to get the knowledge he needs to set up his own learning institution, I think he should ideally pick a mixed public school that does not have a focus on magic. Plenty of those must exist to accommodate the 90% human population without magic. NRC is a restrictive environment mainly composed of the upper echelon and the gifted, and is thus the antithesis of what Fellow seeks to create. Public schools are overall more accessible and offer a more diverse population which Fellow can for sure learn from. It would also be useful as there may be low magic users (that aren't strong enough to qualify for magic schools) mixed in with non-magic users. Fellow could hit up his exact target demographic and mingle with them, get to familiarize himself with their wants and needs, etc. At the same time, he would be theoretically pursuing a specialized degree in education or whatever it is he would need to establish his own school and become an educator himself. That route makes a lot more sense to me than just lumping Fellow in at NRC because that happens to be where all the other major characters go.

Again, it's definitely possible for Fellow to get an education while having his dream. (That's also the case for lots of us fans that go to school while also having our own hobbies and personal goals on the side!) The issue is that I don't see Fellow "fitting in" or learning well at any magic school, especially not one as privatized as NRC is.

[literary-illuminati]

2024 Book Review #36 – Life Does Not Allow Us To Meet by He Xi

I read this basically entirely because it got a hugo nomination, and assuredly would never have tried it otherwise – I literally wouldn’t even have heard of it, let alone be able to get my hands on a (digital) copy. So I went into this with frustratingly little context. Overall I’d call it an interesting read if not necessarily a loveable one.

The story follows a trio of explorers being sent to the colony of Caspian Sea, decades after the previous attempt to check on its progress was lost in a freak FTL accident. The planet, seeded with a population of genetically engineered ‘pioneers’ - humans modified to thrive in its environment - needs to be graded for suitability, and the colonists introduced to advanced technology and welcomed into humanity. Unsurprisingly, things do not go according to plan – the last mission’s destruction wasn’t as reported by the lone survivor, and the population has strayed increasingly far from the plan the Constitution of Earth demands.

Its heritage is of course entirely different, but the story was just incredibly reminiscent of old Golden Age American sci fi to me. The reason is some combination of style and content, I think. It’s overwhelmingly a novella of dialogue and exposition – pages at a time are dedicated to one character explaining a principle of the story’s science or technology to another. With the exception of the very final reveal, the whole plot is dialogue explaining the laws which the story is an expression of or decisions that they had already made – ‘action’ in any sense is in very short supply (despite the genocide). Reminded me of reading my dad’s ratty old paperbacks in the basement as a kid. Oddly nostalgic reading experience.

Prose-wise the story does come across as slightly stilted? Or maybe distant is the better word. Characters emote and have strong reactions, but in nearly every case it felt a bit tell-not-show. I’m not sure how much of that is from the original and how much is an artifact of translation (such is life for the tragically monolingual). While I mean, I’m fairly certain the translation could have been more graceful in places (I simply do not believe that referring to the original colony ship as Big Ship as a proper noun reads the same in English as whatever the original Mandarin was), but beyond that.

Speaking of being in translation – this is a story that made me desperately wish I was more properly familiar with the Chinese SF scene. If only because my initial reaction to it is that it’s obviously in conversation with the whole Three Body Problem series, but also those are literally the only two works of Chinese science fiction I’ve read so I really have no knowledge at all of the wider context they’re both swimming within.

Regardless, Life’s presentation of alien life absolutely does rhyme with Three Body’s, right down to the same examples of historical genocides being used to make the point. The xenophobia is presented as policy rather than an actual law of history, but it feels like a very intentional reference (and the story clearly considers it at least plausible if not necessarily self-evident). Which is what drives the central moral drama of the story – that despite the most careful possible genetic engineering, stellar radiation has left the pioneers of Caspian Sea incapable of reproducing with earth-born humans, and so made them functionally a different species. And thus, by the constitution of earth, axiomatically a potential threat to the survival of humanity that must be exterminated out of hand.

Going from Children of Memory (a series motivated in large part by wonder and joy at the idea of truly nonhuman intelligence, and possessed of ironclad faith in the potential of cosmopolitan, liberal societies to integrate wildly disparate parts) to this was something of a shock.

The book’s vision of humanity is kind of interesting, honestly. Subspecies modified to thrive on different planets, but capable of interbreeding to ensure some level of biological solidarity or shared destiny or something. Not making drastic changes to the appearance, even if it means awkwardly hiding gills under arm pits or not even trying to colonize worlds that would require exuding a thick mucus layer, basically explicitly to make sure that everyone will still find each other fuckable. Fascinatingly shallow, almost?

Anyways yes, interesting ideas and central drama, let down some by prose and execution. Very Asimov.

[kevin-the-bruyne]

Okay so I want to do a genetics thoughts experiment on what’s going on in pit babe if their genetic dna is blueprinted in the same way as ours (aka our cells replicate similarly):

So pregnancy exists in this world for sure on account of the nature of reproducing oneself (like let’s put aside the chrysalis possibilities for a sec okay?). And therefore omegas must definitely be a thing because who else are bearing children?? Certainly not women??? There’s not a single one in this show!!! I’m convinced women don’t exist in this universe. Babe theoretically has a mother and that convinced me for a bit until CHARLIE CALLED HIM MAMA and so all bets are off.

So that actually simplifies things genetically because omegas and alphas can reproduce by XY XX differentiation but then what about ENIGMAS and now this new category of Alpha that is Babe which yes his senses might be heightened but that also makes him breedable suddenly so the senses and the reproductive structure changes must be X-linked.

But babe is pretty easy to explain because of his phenotype being SO RARE. It’s likely a loss of the Y chromosome entirely so he is a XO (where the O is in the place of a blank to indicate single copy X).

It is strange though that so much of the Y chromosome functions to repress the desirable qualities of the X!!! (aka when it’s not there babe gets cool powers) this HAS TO MEAN that something will happen to Babe eventually on the genetic sense that will be…well catastrophic because surely this can’t actually be a desirable trait (it’s fiction he’ll get lucky??)

Which leaves Enigma. So it’s tempting to make the Z a third type of chromosome but it must arise by ANOTHER mistake in the cell replication process (of the gamete you know the cells that fuse with your partners to make a baby) so now we have Z which we can make a rare variation of X because I’m trying to make THE SIMPLEST SYSTEM that still follows the rules of how we reproduce in reality. Anyway Z is therefore more easily called X’

So omega is XX alpha is XY alpha+ is XO and enigma is XX’ okay but the REAL DOOZY IS THIS EXTREMELY SPECIAL BABY THAT TONY NEEDS SO BADLY THAT HE MUST MAKE BABE WAY’S SEX SLAVE

so between an XO (So it’s JUST X) and and XX’ what do we get (remember the kid has to get ONE copy from each parent): XX and XX’ - an omega or an enigma

NOOOOO I HAVE BEEN FOILED BABE CANT POSSIBLY BE A SINGLE COPY X MAN HE MUST HAVE SOMETHING COMPLETELY NEW??? So babes condition is something not X-linked but still affects his reproductive system????

wait no I might have been hasty so what if the ENIGMA’S specialty is that it’s X’ gives rise to a change of the chromatin duplication during meiosis so that it duplicates a second time (MEIOSIS 1.5!!!!) so NOW an alpha+ and an enigma (so Way and Babes ) baby will be XXX’ which is a super powered thing being never before seen until Tony’s ingenuity!!!

BUT THEN WHAT OF AN ENIGMA AND AN OMEGA??? OH MY GOD I HAVE BEEN FOILED AGAIN AN ENIGMA AND OMEGA WOULD ALSO HAVE AN XXX’ baby because an omega XX has the exact same genetic makeup as alpha+ and this will NOT EXPLAIN TONY’S OBSESSION WITH BABE

okay THIRD TRY SO BABE COMES FROM A Y CHROMOSOME VARIATION which must actually be the most rare because well I’m losing track of my meiosis phase so I must study this more. BUT NOW we have the possibility of a XY’ instead of XO

which means if enigmas are XX’ and alpha+ is XY’ and I take back the double duplication in enigmas we will get XX XY’ XX’ X’Y’ and omg THERE YOU HAVE IT:

Babe and Way have equal chances of producing an omega an enigma an alpha+ and a never before seen person

BABE AND WAY HAVE A 25% chance of having AN EXTREMELY SPECIAL CHILD - DO YOU THINK TONY WILL LIKE THESE ODDS????

[drbased]

I just found your blog and I like your posts. I’m curious about your stance on the Imane Khelif controversy because I am confused by all of the conflicting information going around. How are people certain that Khelif is a female with no male performance advantage? I’m not saying she isn’t, but with the statements from the IAB and what we know about her past, I understand why there are people saying it is possible that she might be genetically male with a DSD like 5-ARD and thus observed female at birth. At the same time, I think because the results of her medical tests are confidential and they have not been revealed to the public, I see why people are saying there is no way to say for certain whether she is a male with a DSD.

I’m not trying to be inflammatory, I’m just genuinely curious because I want to better understand this situation as I think it will have a lasting impact on women’s sports. I haven’t really been in rad spaces on tumblr or other social media recently and I’ve mostly seen discourse on Twitter

This doesn't come across as inflammatory at all, though I appreciate you wanting to make sure.

Your guess is as good as mine, anon - I don't know why everyone is so certain. I'm not on twitter, but as far as I can see the tumblr response hasn't been much better. This phenomenal post by @f1ghtsoftly summarises the subject the best, I think. Also this post by the ever-phenomenal @evidence-based-activism who we can always appreciate for going the extra mile (you are such a gift for this community; we are all indebted to you for your work).

Meanwhile, on the flipside, I can understand that radblr has been chomping at the bit for a high-profile case to bolster legitimacy in the public eye. unfortunately what has happened is that since this isn't a case of a transwoman beating up a woman and instead what seems like a male with a DSD who was raised as a woman, it has bolstered people's fears that radfems are directionless reactionaries, willing to throw intersex people under the bus to own the transes. Because of this it's very likely that we won't see anything good for women in sports come out of this; in a world where women are viewed as 'other', women's sports are always vulnerable to being viewed as a free-for-all for anyone who fits into part of that 'other'.

This also raises questions about gender, which I see some radfems have reacted to with discomfort. There are many people in this community who, despite the assertions (and all the theory) that female oppression is socialised, clearly do believe that it's predominantly or even entirely biological. To these people, the fact that Khelif was at least somewhat female socialised means nothing. I even saw someone express actual disappointment for the community not being 'feminist enough' in this, claiming that those who want to find solidarity with khelif's female adjacent life experiences means that we believe in gender, somehow. For a community that claims to be on the side of intersex people this is very ironic; it's deeply disappointing to see what are essentially bio-essentialist talking points. Yes, the foundation of women's oppression is via sex, but in the case of DSDs there are always going to be outliers; so what do we do in the case of people who are biologically male but female-socialised without accidentally believing in brain-sex?

[dbnightingale24]

Pavlov’s Dog

A Ransom Love Story

~~

Part 1

~~

I don’t know why I’m like this, but here you all go. Another love story about everyone’s favorite asshole. I also got this done a lot faster than I thought I would, so I’m hoping to get part 2 out too. I’m also work on a Lloyd story though, so just be patient with me (I truly don’t know why I’m like this). 

Thank you @fuckingbye​ for my moodboard! It’s amazing, just like you!

Lets dive in, shall we?

Word Count: 38,754 words (look at me making a story that’s under 40,000+ words)

Warnings: SMUT (Minors DNI, 18+ ONLY) This whole damn story is a warning, honestly. Ransom (a walking warning), Drinking, Cheating, Talks of drug use, abuse, FLUFF, VERY Public Sex, Daddy kink, Family drama/issues, Angst, Crying, Depression, Lying, Heartbreak...I believe that’s it.

Song(s) That Inspired This Chapter: C’mon, Give It To Me

I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to be posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.

~~

“Ransom stop! We have to stop,” you moan as he continues to fuck you with two fingers.

“What for? I’m taking it easy on you, aren’t I?” he smirks against your neck before biting down on it.

“I’m married! I can’t...oh God, Ransom! I can’t...-”

“You didn’t seem to mind two nights ago when I fucked you until you couldn’t use your own legs, or the night before that when I fucked you on my balcony for everyone at the party to see,” he chuckles.

“Ransom!” you whimper, scratching at the kitchen fridge while your legs go weak at the memory.

“We don’t have to stop at all, baby. You just need to learn how to shut the fuck up,” he chuckles before nipping on your earlobe, “we haven’t been caught yet, so why stop?”

As always, you do what he says, because you can’t stop. You haven’t been able to stop since you two started this whole fucked up situation a year ago.

Ransom was someone you never thought you’d be in this position with. Technically, you’d known him forever because rich families tend to travel in the same circles, but you’d never actually spoken to or spent any time with him. Well, except for that one time, which really didn’t seem to stick for him.

When you were a kid, you clung to your parents out of anxiety and worry. Then, when you became a teenager, you stayed away because he and his friends had a reputation, as did his father, for being a womanizer. Over time, Ransom became the same way and you can only guess that after hearing some of the stories about his family, it’s really not something he needed to learn, it was basically a genetic code for the men in that family.

Like the whole ‘Pavlov’s Dog’ theory.

Ransom didn’t need to learn how to be a scum bag, he just was one. Whenever he saw a gorgeous woman, he simply went after her. Much like his father, his uncle, and his grandfather (when he was younger).

It was a family trait.

Yes, Harlan had tried to fix all the damage he’d caused before he died, but it was useless. Richard and Walt were set in their ways and they didn’t do much to hide it. Most of the men in the “rich family” group didn’t. No, your father didn’t cheat on your mother (much), but he put his hands on her; especially when he was drunk. So, he was still a piece of shit as far you were concerned.

However, none of this information ever made you look down on Ransom and his friends. You didn’t know them and you weren’t going to judge them because of your own feelings. You just stayed away. You didn’t do drugs, you didn’t party much, and you didn’t drink too much. Sure, you’ve been drunk a time or two, but not every damn weekend.

Even with the “girlfriends” that they had, you tried to be as pleasant as possible when you would cross their paths. You just wanted to stay out of sight and out of mind, but you never wanted to be rude about it. You had your small group of friends and a stable-ish relationship with your parents, so you were happy. You kept to yourself and minded your own business. You never spent more time doing more than you needed to with the people your parents associated with. The parents liked you because you were a good kid. You were polite, kind, did well in school, never seemed to ask your parents for anything, hard working, and you stayed out of trouble.

Your parents took pride in having the “perfect daughter”.

You think that’s what attracted your husband to you. His parents had always liked you, and your mother would constantly tell you how his mother wished he’d settle down with a girl like you.

“Honestly, I’m not surprised he hasn’t asked you on a date with how you dress,” your Mother scoffed. “You have a gorgeous body and you never show it off. You don’t attract anyone’s attention with how you dress.”

“I don’t want to attract anyone’s attention,” you sighed, annoyed that she’s made you feel pathetic and like a disappointment for the millionth time in your life. “I like my life as it is.”

“Alone?”

“Mother.”

“Anyway, Jack’s mother is constantly telling me how she wishes he’d find someone like you instead of all of the other little tramps he hangs out with-”

“Mom!”

“What? They are little whores,” she shrugs, sipping on her Blood Mary. “Half of them have already slept with half the husbands, then they go and fuck the sons. As long as they keep their getting money, it doesn’t matter to them. Anyway, he hangs out with that Ransom boy and that boy is never up to any good-”

“You don’t know that.”

“When did you become so damn naive?”

“I’m not naive, I’m just not going to pass judgement on people I don’t know. What right do I have? Everyone is capable of good and bad.”

“Not everyone.”

“Yes, everyone.”

“Give an example.”

“Dad loves me, gives money to good charities and schools, but still beats you and stays out too late with his friends. You’re a great and loyal friend, a great mom, but you still drink to try and forget that dad’s a piece of shit and you go driving while you’re fucked up. Everyone is capable of good and bad. Was that a good enough examples or should I keep going?” you questioned, cocking an eyebrow.

“Anyway,” your Mother scowled, “he’s around Ransom and all of his friends, so it makes sense that he never brings anyone favorable home.”

“Well, maybe his mom will get what she wants and he’ll find someone “decent” enough to settle down with.”

“Or, you can change up your look, and he’ll settle down with you,” your Mother smiled hopefully and you just rolled your eyes.

Honestly, it didn’t surprise you that your Mother was so desperate for you to be with Jack. Socially and financially, it was the perfect match. Your Father is one of the best doctors in the country, and his Father was a pretty successful Doctor. You made a name for yourself in your life of work, and Jack was successful in his own right. He’s handsome and you’re gorgeous.

It just worked.

However, a few weeks later, you found out the Jack’s parents weren’t the only ones who were keeping an eye on you.

“Have you noticed that Ransom Drysdale can never seem to take his eyes off of you?” your best friend, Daisy, questioned with a laugh.

“Huh? What do you mean?” you questioned, trying to get lost in your third Screwdriver.

If there’s one person in your life you trust above all others, and confide in more than anyone else, it’s Daisy. You and her have been thick as thieves since 5th grade, and there’s no one else you’d rather have by your side when shit gets rough. Yeah, she’s a party girl, but she’s loyal, hard working, and she enjoys quiet time just as much as you do. Her parents are just as bad as yours and that’s how you two bonded. It’s also the reason you stick up for all the party girls your Mother hates.

All of you were dealt the same hand, there’s no reason to hate anyone. The parents never felt the need to really spend time with their kids, cause that’s what the Nanny’s for, right? All the parents just passed their kids off to someone else when they could, then paraded them around during their birthdays or when they achieved something they deemed amazing. Whether it was making the honor roll, making the Varsity football team, or getting accepted into a top school, the parents would throw extravagant parties, while their kids would drink themselves into oblivion, get high out of their minds, or fuck until they were tired of it.

Everyone dealt with their shit in their own way, and Daisy made sure you didn’t give anyone shit for it, because you were all just trying to get by in a world where you all felt like no one actually gave a fuck about you. You were all just trophies for your parents to shine up and pay attention to every once in a while.

Anyway, your parents were throwing their annual Summer party and, somehow, you got roped into it.

“He wants to fuck you,” she laughed.

“What? No he doesn’t! He’s never even spoken to me!”

“News for ya babe: you don’t have to talk to someone to wanna fuck ‘em.”

“I’m not his type, stop it. You’ve seen the girls he brings to parties and charity functions. I do not fit into the category, at all,” you scoffed before taking another sip of your drink, looking over and seeing his eyes on you.

Along with Jack’s.

“I told you what my mom said; they’re probably just talking about me,” you shrugged.

“His eyes are on you even when he isn’t around Jack.”

“Dais-”

“I know you’re hard headed and don’t like to listen to anyone, but Drysdale has a thing for you and I feel like he always has, or...at least, wants to fuck you.”

“Yeah right,” you muttered before you finished off your drink.

You should’ve listened to her. God, you wish you would’ve listened.

It’s not like you had any reason to believe her though, because why would you? He’d never spoken to you, he’d never made it obvious that he’d taken any interest in you, and he never approached you. Hell, your parents had invited him and his parents to your birthday parties when you were kids, but he never showed up. You two had gone to the same schools up until college, but even when he came home for holiday break, he never even looked your way.

So why would you think he wanted anything to do with you? Why should you think that he or or Jack ever thinks of you?

Well, Jack proved that his mother’s word got through to him at some point.

“Ya know, you’re always at these things, but you never seem happy to be here,” Jack smiled as he made his way over to you.

“Oh...hi! Uh...yeah, ya know...family obligation and all,” you smiled awkwardly, not really sure why he was making conversation with you.

“Well, why not make a new friend while suffering through another family obligation?”

And that’s how it started.

In the beginning, Jack was sweet. So insanely sweet. He brought you flowers every other day, he was constantly making or taking you to dinner, he was funny, he cut back on partying, and he was always so interested in you. Constantly asking about your day, what made you happy, what irritated you, and what made you laugh.

He seemed like a dream.

It’s not like you’d never had a boyfriend and you were by no means a virgin, but Jack was a dream...at the time. Soon enough there was a proposal and you happily accepted, a home was purchased, there was talk of having kids, a wedding date was set, and your parents were thrilled. You were in love and everything you’d always wanted was finally falling into place.

However, Jack was a wonderful liar, you’ll give him that. He easily played the two faced card, and by the second year of your marriage, you’d finally figured it out.

“Jesus, enough with the bitching!” Jack slurred at 3am, after waking you up by knocking over a lamp in the bedroom.

“You’re never home! You’re always drunk, high, or both, and you’re fucking cheating!”

“Here we go with the fucking cheating allegations-”

“It’s a fucking fact! I smell them on you, there are lipstick stains on your shirt, the calls you step out of the room to answer-”

“Shut up! Your voice is annoying me and I have an early day at work,” he growled before getting into bed and falling asleep almost instantly.

After that, you tried. You tried to save what you thought was the perfect marriage. You made an effort to be more appealing; wearing tighter and more revealing clothes, giving him a blow job whenever he wanted, initiating sex, making his favorite meals, trying to have more date nights, but nothing seemed to work.

“Your husband is a piece of shit,” Daisy scoffed as she settled in bed next to you, at her house.

You and Jack got into another huge argument before he left to go out, and you were in no mood to be there when he got back.

“What did he do now?”

“Hit on me.”

“Daisy-”

“Don’t. Don’t be that woman. Don’t make excuses or try to explain it away. He’s a piece of shit and you know it. Leave his ass.”

“It’s my fault-”

“Stop it, no it isn’t. He’s always been a piece of shit and that didn’t change because the two of you said ‘I do’. He’s a liar and piece of shit. Don’t deny what you know for comfort,” she snapped.

It’s not like Daisy didn’t have a point. You’d figured out Jack was a piece of shit a year and a half into the marriage, but you pretended you could look the other way. If there’s no actual proof, then there’s no way he could be a cheater. You wanted to believe that you were living the life that no one else seemed to be capable of.

You wanted to believe that you got lucky.

Soon enough, trying turned into irritation, irritation turned into frustration, and frustration turned into regret.

“I don’t see the point in leaving him,” your Mother sighed as you two sat down for lunch. “Every marriage has its issues.”

“No offense, but I don’t want to end up like you and half the other women in the county.”

“Y/N, you’re not getting any younger and he’s not putting his hands on you. He’s got a good job, he has more than enough to keep comfortable and happy-”

“I have my own good job and good money on my own.”

“Just have a kid and-”

“You’re not listening me-”

“I am and you need to grow up, Y/N. You’re being a child. Do you know how lucky you are? You could have it so much worse. Suck it up and get over it,” she snapped before she finished her drink, which was her way of letting you know that the conversation was over.

So, you tried. You tried to keep your tears to yourself, you pretended that you didn’t care that he reeked of sex and other women when he came home, you made dinner and left him notes about his plate being in the fridge when he didn’t come home.

However, it didn’t seem to help anything. He was rarely ever home, and w[hen he was, he was either too fucked up or too annoyed to actually pay attention. You barely had sex with him anymore, which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, cause it was rare that he ever got you off.

That was an issue before all the lying and cheating.

However, the more you tried, the more your spirit died.

“This isn’t like you, Y/N. This isn’t you at all,” Daisy sighed as as she got in her bed and cuddled up next to you; holding you close as you sobbed into her shoulder.

“My Mother said-”

“Your Mother is a miserable drunk. You know better than to listen to her.”

“She has a point, Dais. They’re a lot of people who have it worse than me.”

“Y/N, you don’t deserve to be treated like this. He’s an asshole who doesn’t know how good he has it, and you deserve to be with someone who does. Someone who will actually appreciate and love you.”

“It’s whatever at this point.”

“When did it get this bad? When did you just allow bullshit like this to happen?”

“I’m tired of fighting.”

“Do you love Jack?”

“Yes.”

“Enough to keep thinking this lowly of yourself?”

“No.”

“Then fucking leave him, Y/N. He’s useless and you’ll be just fine on your own.”

You knew that she was right, so you got the papers made up, and had planned to have a mature talk with him about it.

Planned.

“Can you not go out tonight? We need to talk,” you asked softly as Jack went to follow Ransom and friends out the door.

“Whatever it is can wait,” he scoffed.

“It really can’t.”

“Y/N, don’t start your shit-”

“I want a divorce, Jack. I’m tired of this shit and you clearly don’t care enough to get your shit together. I want a divorce,” you stated plainly, crossing your arms.

“Can you guys wait outside? I’ll be out soon,” he laughed incredulously.

Ransom looked you over before he and his friends made their way outside.

“What is it that you want, hmm?”

“To be in a functioning fucking marriage for one!”

“Jesus, you’re so fucking dramatic, Y/N. You want for nothing, I’ve never put my fucking hands on you-”

“The fact that you think that’s some big fucking win is a major problem.”

“I still come home to you, don’t I?”

“Do you fucking hear yourself right now?! Why keep doing this? Why not just be free to do whatever you want and leave me the hell alone?”

“Because I love you, Y/N-”

“Bullshit!” you laughed.

“Just because it’s not perfect doesn’t mean it’s not love!”

“Jack, I’m tired of this shit. I have tried everything to make you happy and commit, like you fucking said you would in your wedding vows, and nothing has worked. I’m tired of being the only one who’s willing to make this marriage work. Just sign the damn papers.”

“You’re just not fucking thinking straight. You need a night cool down.”

“Jack-”

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” is all he said before storming out and slamming the door shut behind him.

You were determined to stand your ground, so you packed some of your clothes and went to Daisy’s house, and she was more than happy to take you in.

Shithead: Where the hell are you?

Y/N: Sign the papers.

Shithead: You’re being ridiculous.

Y/N: Can you not be difficult for once? Just sign the damn papers.

Shithead: I’m coming to get you, where are you?

Y/N: Can you please just sign the papers?

Shithead: Come home.

This kept up for two weeks; you begging Jack for a divorce and him begging you to come home. You did your best to be strong, with Daisy being your only real support system, but it could only last for so long.

“You need to go home to your husband,” your Mother sighed as soon as you two sat down for lunch.

“Stay out of it.”

“His Mother won’t stop calling me, telling me how miserable he is-”

“Then he should’ve kept his cock in his pants.”

“Y/N!”

“What? He’s a cheater, Mom! All he does is cheat on me and make me feel like I’m being unreasonable-”

“You are!”

“Do you ever take my fucking side?”

“I don’t care for your language!”

“And I don’t care for your attitude!” you snapped.

“You’re having lunch with your Father on Thursday.”

“I work, I can’t just-”

“Just don’t. He wants to have this lunch, he set up his schedule for work so he can meet you in the park, and you’re going.”

“And he couldn’t tell me himself because....?”

“You’re less inclined to give me the same attitude you’ll give him.”

“Fine.”

Needless to say, you two didn’t speak to each other for the remainder of that brunch, and you were already expecting your lunch with your Father to go bad.

It always did.

“So, what’s going on with you and Jack?” your Father asked, handing you a hot dog as you two resumed your stroll through the park.

“You know what’s going on with us.”

“Your Mother says-”

“Don’t. Don’t act like she doesn’t make me feel like shit and make me feel like I’m dumb. Like I’m asking for too much.”

“We just want you to have a good life.”

“You can’t honestly think I’ll have a good life with Jack. Jesus dad, I know you can be a piece of shit, but you have to know that a good life with Jack is not an option!”

“I’m not trying to start an argument, Y/N.”

“You’re also not trying to help anything!”

“It’ll make your Mother’s life a lot easier.”

“And what about my life?”

“Love will come again, Sweet Pea.”

“I can’t fucking believe this,” you scoffed before you finished the rest of your hot dog. “Both of you have got to be the worst parents.”

“Y/N-”

“How does me getting back with him make her life any better anyway?”

“You know the women at the country club talk. They’re bullies and they already give her shit about all the things she and I have been through-”

“So this is to fix all of the shit you’ve done wrong? That’s fucking rich.”

“Overall, she’s been a good mother, Y/N. All the best dance classes, being at every recital, being at every choir concert, every band concert, showing up to every soccer game, getting you the exact things you wanted for your birthdays-”

“Getting blackout drunk on my 16th birthday and making a fool out of herself and embarrassing me in front of my friends.”

“That was my fault and you know it.”

“So, once again, this is to fix all of the shit you’ve done wrong.”

“Y/N-”

“I have to think...all of this shouldn’t have to fall on me.”

“No, it shouldn’t, and I’m sorry, but-”

“Yeah, I know. I gotta get back to work. I’ll talk to you later,” you muttered, throwing out the wrapper that held your hot dog and walking off.

As much as you hated to admit it, your Father did have a point. For all the flaws that your Mother had, and there was a good amount, she always did her best to show up for you. If being trapped in a shitty marriage was going to make her life better, then you’d do it.

Against Daisy’s advice (as well as your own), you found yourself packing your things up and moving back into the prison you were supposed to call home. For the first few weeks, Jack seemed to have his shit together (though you weren’t buying it), and insisted upon having a vow renewal party.

And that’s when all of it started.

It was simple enough at first; people came over and congratulated the both of you, you two put on a show of pure and genuine happiness, had a dance, and Jack even did a toast to the both of you and the new chapter of your marriage.

It started out easy.

Then the drinks started flowing and Jack easily fell back into his old ways. Right in front of you. Your parents could see how upset you were getting and your Father even tried to calm Jack down a few times, taking him in a separate room to talk, but it was no use. Once Jack was fucked up enough, he didn’t care about anything except what he wanted and it didn’t help that his dickhead friends were egging him on.

Well, all of them except for Ransom.

His gaze stayed on you almost the whole time and it was intense. You felt like you couldn’t breathe and your skin was begging for just a touch of him. It also didn’t help that you’d been drinking whiskey for the last 2 hours, as a way of dealing with being publicly humiliated, and it was really starting to kick in. All you wanted was some sort of comfort, and the look Ransom was giving you was letting you know that he was more than willing to give that to you. You wanted to talk to Daisy, but she had refused to come (and you couldn’t even blame her), so you were just shit out of luck.

When you checked the clock and realized that it was only 10pm, you knew the party wasn’t anywhere near over. You grabbed a bottle of Jack Daniels and stormed off outside, deciding that time away from everyone is what would be best.

“I never knew you could drink so much,” a dark voice chuckled from behind you, causing you to jump.

“R-Ransom...hi,” you stuttered as you put the bottle down and moved over a bit on the stone ledge you’d been sitting on.

“You look pretty fucking miserable for someone who just renewed her vows.”

“Shouldn’t you be inside with Jack? You’re his best friend or whatever.”

“He’s too fucked up and he’s being annoying,” he shrugged as he took a seat next to you and grabbed the bottle of JD. “We’ve never really spoken before, thought I’d take the time to talk to you now.”

“Well, as much as I appreciate the kind gesture, I’m really in no mood to talk right now.”

“Why’d you take him back?” Ransom pressed on and you let out a heavy sigh.

“It’s complicated.”

“We’ve got time.”

“Ransom, not to be a complete cunt right now, but why do you care? You’re always out with him while he’s getting his dick wet in some other woman’s cunt, so why do you care?”

“It’s not like I encourage him to do it,” he shrugged before he took a drink from the bottle, “he’s a fucking idiot. He talked about making you his for the longest time. Now, he has you, and he treats you like shit.”

“Well, thanks for that bit of information,” you laughed humorlessly.

“So, why did you go back?”

“I told you, it’s complicated.”

“And I told you, we have time.”

“Ransom-”

“You are entirely too beautiful to be crying or married to an asshole like him. The reason must be something good.”

“Leave it alone,” you almost sobbed as you looked back over to him.

Before you could blink, Ransom was cupping your face and kissing you deeply. He was kissing you with more emotion than you’d ever felt. You knew you should’ve stopped him, but it felt so fucking good. Whether or not it was because of the alcohol or because of the lack of affection from Jack, it felt so good to have someone kissing you with so much passion and determination.

“Ransom...” you breathed as you two broke apart, “don’t.”

“You don’t wanna get back at him?”

“Why do you?”

“He took something precious from me, and I wanna return the favor,” he broods as he held your gaze.

You should’ve tapped out right then and there, but you needed some sort of comfort. You needed to hurt Jack the same way he’d hurt you so many times. Before you knew it, you were sneaking Ransom in and bringing him to the bedroom you shared with Jack, not caring if you got caught or not.

You just wanted to feel better.

“Ransom...don’t,” you moaned as he went to rip your dress. “My parents are still here.”

“You really are a good girl,” he chuckled before continuing to kiss down your body.

“I still have...gotta make sure I can go down there...”

“I’ll make sure you look presentable, baby. However,” he started as he hiked up the bottom of your dress, “since I can’t destroy this dress, I’m gonna destroy you.”

“Ransom-”

“Just hang on, baby,” he smirked before dipping down and sucking on your clit and pushing two fingers inside of you achingly slow.

“Jesus! Fuck...Ransom...”

“The way you taste...could stay in-between these legs all day,” he growled before resuming his assault on your clit and picking up his pace, as you gripped his hair and started to grind yourself against his face.

Yes, there was a part of you that wanted to stop, but you’d also never felt so fucking good. Even with your fingers and vibrator, neither could compare to what Ransom was making you feel.

“Ransom...fuck! Oh my God!” you whimpered, trying to stay as quiet as possible.

Yes, you were fine with Jack catching you, but not the entire fucking house.

“Shit! You’re so-fuck!” you cried out as he changed up and started to massage your clit with is thumb while easily fucking into your weeping cunt with his tongue. “Never felt this fucking good!”

You felt him smirk against your clit and you didn’t even care. You felt like you were heaven in heaven and he had every right to feel cocky.

“Not gonna last much...oh...yes...YES!” you cried out, as you came hard, your entire body tingling in delight.

“Never thought you’d be such a messy little thing,” Ransom chuckled after he cleaned up between your legs. “Can’t wait to see how much of a mess you make on my cock.”

“Ransom-”

“You’ve already opened up your legs for me, sweetheart. Might as well experience the whole ride,” he smirked before kissing up your dress.

In the moment, it’s not that you felt guilty, you were just afraid of not being able to keep quiet.

“You’re such a pretty little thing,” he cooed against the shell of your ear before he bit it.

“Shit!” you whimpered as you unbuttoned his pants and he pulled them down.

“Gonna fuck you so good. The way you should always be fucked,” he promised before thrusting himself inside of you.

“Fuck!”

“God, this pussy is better than I ever imagined,” he groaned, starting to pump into you hard and fast.

“So fucking full! Holy shit!” you cried out as you gripped his shoulders, trying to hold on for the ride.

“Never been stretched this good?”

“N-no, daddy!”

Whoops.

“Daddy?” he smirked, “You ever call him that?”

“He...he doesn’t deserve it,” you moaned, grinding your hips against his.

“Shit, Y/N!”

“So fucking close!”

“You need to cum, baby?”

“Please!” you pleaded pathetically.

“Such a good little girl,” he grunted with a smirk, “Asking permission...cum for daddy, baby,” he encouraged before he dipped down and kissed you passionately with just a hint of desperation.

Maybe it was because you were so damn drunk, or maybe it was because he made you feel better than you ever had, but you squirted hard. Something you’d never done before.

“You really are the messiest little thing, aren’t you?” he laughed as he pulled out, and you groaned in protest. “Oh, we’re not done, Sweet Thing. Get on your hands and knees for me.”

“Ransom-”

“Don’t worry, daddy isn’t gonna fuck that hole. At least not tonight. Just wanna put these these legs out of use.”

“Fuck.”

“Be a good girl, hands and knees,” he demands again before he slapped your inner thigh.

It was in that moment that you decided you’d do anything for Ransom Drysdale.

You were on your hands and knees in a matter of moments, completely forgetting that you’re in trapped in a bullshit marriage, and only focusing on the pleasure that he was giving you.

“Jesus, this fucking ass,” Ransom growled before he slapped it, “Jack is a fucking fool.”

“Daddy please!”

“I know, baby. Gonna make it so much better,” he husked before thrusting himself inside of you, again. “This fucking pussy! I swear to God!”

“Fuck me like I’m your whore,” you begged, “I fucking need it!”

“Haven’t even fucked you full of my seed and you wanna be my whore?”

“So fucking bad!”

“Should I call him in here so he can see how to really fuck you? So he can see that you’re mine now?”

“Do whatever you want,” you whimpered as his grip on you got tighter and he started to fuck you harder, “I just wanna please you!”

“God, you’re gonna make me fuckin' cum, sweet girl!”

“Cum deep in this pussy!”

“Is it mine?”

“Fuck! This pussy is all yours! Cum in it and claim it!”

“Fuck, Y/N!” Ransom husked as he filled you up.

“Jesus!” you screamed as you made a mess all over him and the bed.

Thank God the music was blaring .

You both stayed that way for a moment, both of you taking in what you had just done (you were sure more than him), before he slowly pulled out. You wanted more, but you knew enough damage had been done. Revenge, comfort, desire...you got what you needed and told yourself that was the only time it would happen.

“You comin back down, Sweet Thing’?” Ransom asked as he pulled his pants back on.

“In...in a little bit,” you sighed before you laid back on the bed.

“Gonna wanna fix that fuckin' dress before you do,” he chuckled before kissing the top of your forehead.

And with that, he left.

You told yourself that was the end of it. You had your fill (quite literally) and you wouldn’t do it again. You just wanted a taste of revenge, you didn’t want to live in it. When you went back downstairs, you ignored every glance Ransom threw your way, and ignored the fact that he left with the blonde Jack disappeared with earlier. You had your fair share of fun and you were done.

That’s what you told yourself.

When Jack came home late with lipstick stains on his collar a few nights later, you told yourself it didn’t matter. When you two got into a screaming match about him at least pretending to be decent, you let it go when he stormed out and didn’t return for the night. When the argument of you being on the pill came up and he almost slapped you, you told yourself it was no big deal. Why? Because the playing field was even now (as far as you were concerned). Yeah, Jack cheated almost all the time, but you cheated once. You cheated once and had the most amazing sex ever, so no more needed to be done. No, Jack didn’t know about it, but if he did, it would break him. That was enough for you.

Sure, Ransom came around, looked you over, gave you those eyes, but he never initiated anything. You were more than sure he knew you would never act on anything with him anymore, because that’s not who you were. In fact, you were sure that he knew that he was the only person to ever to get you to do something you absolutely loathed.

Which you is why you kept saying once was enough and you weren’t going to do it again, no matter how much you wanted to.

Still, a woman has needs.

“Ransom,” you moaned as you fucked yourself with your vibrator.

Yes, you were content with not fucking him again, but that didn’t change the fact that he fucked you better than you’d ever been fucked in your life.

“Fuck...fuck, yes! Don’t stop, Ransom!” you whimpered as you curled your toes.

“Miss me?” a deep voice questioned.

You froze almost instantly, leaving the vibrator on as you looked up, “what are you doing here?!”

“Game night,” he chuckled as he walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind him, “Jack lost the bet so he has to host it.”

“You can’t be in here!” you whispered harshly.

“Why not? You clearly need me and it’s been so long. Keep going,” he shrugged as he undid his pants.

“Ransom-”

“Keep going,” he demanded as he started to stroke himself.

You were coming to find that saying ‘no’ to him was going to be something you wouldn’t be good at. You resumed fucking yourself with the vibrator, while he jerked himself off (only turning you on more); his eyes on you intensely.

“You miss daddy, baby?” he groaned as he started stroking himself faster.

You could only bring yourself to nod.

“He’s not fucking you right?”

“He never does.”

“You want me?”

“We can’t,” you moaned as your pussy clenched around your vibrator.

“Why not?”

“Ransom-”

“Suck that vibrator dry, then I’m gonna fuck you senseless.”

“We can’t-”

“Do what I said or you’re gonna be in for a long night.”

You truly wanted to say no, but he’d made you feel so good, and you missed that. You missed feeling desired.

You missed being wanted.

You slowly removed the vibrator from your already soaked cunt with a whimper, before bringing it up to your lips and licking it with the tip of your tongue.

“Never thought you could be such a dirty little thing,” he husked, and you knew he was close.

You kept your eyes on him as started suck on the vibrator, and couldn’t help but smirk when you saw one of his legs almost give out. Yeah, Ransom was a player, but in that moment, he was a puddle for you. It didn’t matter what any other woman made him feel, cause in that moment, he was showing you just how much of an effect you were having on him.

When you took the whole damn thing in your mouth, Ransom came hard on the bed and it just made you that much more desperate. You whined as you cleaned off the last bit of your slick and opened your legs for him.

Before, you could have blamed it all on alcohol and said that you only let Ransom fuck because you were drunk and upset, but in this moment? You were completely sober and you wanted him. You wanted him more than you’d ever wanted anyone.You knew you’d feel bad about it tomorrow, but for now, you just wanted Ransom and he wanted you.

“Let daddy see,” he demanded as he kicked his boxers and pants off.

You took the vibrator out of your mouth as you started to massage your clit with two fingers.

“Such a good girl,” he chuckled before dipping down, moving your fingers out of the way, and licking your clit before he started kissing up your body.

“Ransom, we have to be quiet,” you moaned as he started kissing up your body.

“Take off this fucking shirt.” “Ransom-”

“Take it off, I wanna see all of you.”

“We have to be quiet,” you repeated as you took your shirt off.

“These tits are fuckin' perfect,” he growled as he aligned himself with your entrance.

“Ransom-”

“Yeah yeah, we gotta be quiet,” he grumbled before he thrust himself inside of you, “so don’t scream too loud for daddy.”

“Fuck!”

“Quiet down, Sweet Thing’,” he chuckled before he kissed passionately.

You’d never had an affair before, and you never thought you’d have one. You always imagined that the person you’d end up with would be your knight in shining armor, but now? Jack was always doing whatever the fuck he wanted, so why couldn’t you? Why were you denied your little bit of fun?

“Do you know how many times I’ve dreamt of having you like this again?” Ransom husked as he sat up and gripped your hips, “made me wait two fucking months to make you feel as good as you deserve!”

“All you had to do was ask,” you moaned as you clawed at his clothed chest, arching your back a little.

“Yeah? This pussy is mine whenever I want?”

“I’m yours whenever you want,” you whimpered as you felt your release coming on.

In the back of your mind, you knew you shouldn’t be saying things like that to him, but it was so hard to think straight when he was making you feel so good,

The man fucked like a god.

“What about Jack?”

“What about him?”

“He doesn’t matter anymore?”

“Ransom, do you wanna fuck me or do you wanna talk about my failed ongoing marriage?”

“You’re right, baby. Lets make the most of this,” he laughed before fucking into you relentlessly.

From that point on, you and Ransom fucked whenever you could. He always sought you out, but you never turned him away. You were always eager and desperate for him and he was always eager to give you what you wanted. Whether it was being fucked like a slut, or being fucked in a slow and passionate nature, he always delivered. It started out with him only seeking you out at parties and sneaking into the bedroom when he was at the house for whatever reason, but soon enough, he got your number (probably by getting it off of Jack’s phone), and was demanding you come over in the middle of the night.

That’s when things started getting tricky.

Ransom was infamous for kicking women out of bed, yet he never kicked you out. You’d heard stories of how he’d kicked women out, in nothing but their underwear (if he hadn’t destroyed it), but there were times when you’d wake to his arm wrapped around your waist and him holding you close. Outside of sex, you and Ransom didn’t say two words to each other, but nonetheless, the small gesture tugged at your heart. You couldn’t remember the last time Jack was affectionate with you in public or in private.

However, it also started to get tricky because Jack finally started noticing.

“Where were you?” Jack asked as you toed your shoes off at 7am.

“I went for a drive.”

“All night?”

“There’s not much incentive for me to stay home, is there?”

“Y/N-”

“What happened to your little trinket from last night? I woke up at 2am and you still weren’t home.”

“I actually did have to work late last night,” he sighed and you rolled your eyes.

Ransom had been out with him the night before and told you to come over because Jack was fucked up and had his face buried in some stripper’s cunt, and he wanted to bury his face in yours.

“Whatever.”

“Sweetheart-”

“Don’t fucking ‘sweetheart’ me. I’m taking a shower and then I’m off to work.”

“You know I love you, Y/N.”

That had you laughing so hard you almost fell over.

“Thanks for that, I’m gonna go and start my day now,” you breathed before you made your way upstairs.

After that, you told Ransom that you both needed to stop. You were married and it was wrong, but it’s not like Ransom gave a shit about right or wrong. His new favorite activity was fucking you and he didn’t understand why he needed to stop.

“Why should I have to give you up?” he groaned as you rode him. “He doesn’t even deserve you.”

“He’s starting to notice, daddy. Don’t want...don’t...shit!”

“My gorgeous girl is fuckin’ herself stupid, huh?” he chuckled as he sat up and starting massaging your tits.

“Shit!”

“Cause you’re my pretty girl, right? You’re mine?”

“Ransom...”

“You’re mine?”

“Yes daddy,” you whimpered, wrapping your arms around him and kissing him passionately.

And that was that. Ransom had no intention of letting you go and you didn’t want him to.

“Lets go upstairs,” he whispers as he continues to fuck you with his fingers.

“My parents are here, Ransom. I can’t!”

“Baby, I missed you!”

“You just saw me two nights ago!”

“I wanna see you every fuckin’ night!”

“You know we...Ransom, I’m so fucking close!”

“I know you are, sweet girl...pussy is squeezing my fingers so fuckin’ tight!”

“Oh daddy!”

“Did you miss me, baby? Did you miss me fucking you stupid?”

“You know I...you know I did!”

“I want you in my bed tonight, Sweet Thing.”

“I can’t-”

“Daddy doesn’t like that answer,” he taunts before biting down on the sensitive part of your neck.

“Oh my fuck!”

“Tell daddy what he wants to hear.”

“I can’t-”

“Still not what I wanna hear,” he mumbles as his free hand starts to undo his pants, “you daddy want to fuck you right now? In this kitchen, where anyone can come in and see?”

“Ransom!”

“Tell daddy what he wants to hear,” he demands hotly as he starts to grind his hard cock against your ass .

“Fuck! I’ll...I’ll come by tonight...I can’t stay!”

“We’ll see about that,” he laughs darkly, “now be a good little whore and cum for me. Get it all over the fuckin’ floor!”

“Shit!” you cry out as quietly as you can, squirting hard, happy to be pressed up against the refrigerator so you don’t fall.

“Such a good girl for me, baby,” he praises, kissing your neck as he removes his two fingers. “Clean daddy off so we can go back out there.”

You turn around and take his fingers into your mouth, never breaking eye contact with him, as your tongue licks and massages his fingers, making sure to get all of your essence off of him.

“You sure I can’t sneak you upstairs?”

“Ransom, I have to go out there. It’s my anniversary party,” you chuckle after he removes his fingers and you straighten out your dress.

“He’s the asshole for throwing a party instead of taking you out.”

“He’s expecting sex tonight.”

“Do not fuck him,” Ransom demands as he zips up his pants.

“Ransom-”

“That pussy belongs to me and me only.”

“He’s my husband and it’s our wedding anniversary.”

“What did I say?”

“He’s my husband, Ransom.”

“Then he should fucking act like it.”

“Why do you care so much?”

“Because I like you and he doesn’t deserve you.”

“You don’t even know me.”

“Oh, trust me, I know you,” he chuckles before cupping your face, “don’t fuck him tonight.”

“Ransom-”

“Want me to throw you over my shoulder and remind you why you shouldn’t?”

“Stop it,” you giggle.

Ransom kissed you passionately and pulled you close, “don’t fuck him tonight, baby,” he begs breathlessly as you two break apart.

“You still fuck whoever you want.”

“Yeah, but you’re my favorite.”

“Ransom,” you laugh.

“Just don’t do it, okay?”

“Fine, get back out there.”

“You?”

“I’ll go upstairs the back way and be down in a few minutes.”

“Sounds good,” he smirks before kissing you then making his way back out.

You’re not stupid. You know that Ransom isn’t in love with you, but that doesn’t change the fact that he makes you feel all of the things Jack hasn’t over the last few years. Besides, if you’re doomed to be miserable like every other wife in the area, you may as well get your kicks where you can.

When you reach the bedroom, you clean yourself up and look yourself over in the mirror. When all of this started, you were ashamed of yourself, but now? There’s nothing to be ashamed of. You’re playing the same game Jack is.

Except you’re better at it.

When you get back downstairs, you can tell it’s gonna be easy to tell Jack ‘no’ and leaving him to his own devices. He’s high as a kite and drunk off his ass.

“There you are!” he drunkenly exclaims as he stumbles over to you. “Where’d you go?”

“To freshen up,” you mutter, pushing him off of you as you feel your Mother’s gaze on you.

“What do you say we wrap this night up early?”

“And do what?”

“The thing we haven’t done for a while,” he smirks suggestively and you scoff. “What?”

“You’re a little too...tuned up for that right now.”

“Can you not be a bitch on our fucking anniversary?” he scowls.

“You need to sleep it off.”

“Y/N,” he growls as he grips your wrist, tight, “stop fucking denying me.”

“Let me go, now.”

“I want you tonight and you’re gonna-”

“Everything okay over here?” Ransom asks, his leggy blonde date following right behind him. “Hey man!” Jack exclaims, letting go of your wrist and wrapping Ransom in a sloppy hug.

Yeah, it’s definitely time to wrap this fucking party up.

“Why don’t you call it a night?”

“The party is just getting started!” Jack laughs, still holding on to Ransom because standing on his own is now an issue.

“Not for you,” Ransom mumbles as he helps him up the steps.

As you start making your rounds, thanking people for coming and all that fun stuff, you feel your Mother’s stare from across the room and it makes your skin crawl. The only reason you stayed with Jack was to make her happy in the first place. You didn’t need to hear any of her judgemental comments or snide remarks. When everyone is finally gone, you start to pick up some of the plates and glasses, and make your way into the kitchen; your Mother on your heels.

“You could’ve hired-”

“I didn’t want to,” you interrupt harshly.

“You have to stop,” your Mother sighs.

“Stop what? Cleaning? No thanks, I-”

“Stop sleeping with Ransom.”

For just a moment, your breath hitches, but you bounce back quick with, “you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes I do. I’ve been married longer than you have, I’ve been in a miserable marriage longer than you have, I-”

“I’m not you.”

“He’s never going to commit to you and you’re just going to get hurt.”

“Stop.”

“How long has it been going on?”

“Ma-”

“How long?”

“You need to drop it. You don’t know anything-”

“What do you think is gonna happen? What? He’s gonna save you from this marriage? You think he’s gonna commit?”

“What is your problem?!” you snap, finally giving her your full attention. “Did you see what I just had to deal with?! What I’ve been dealing with?! Isn’t it enough that I’m staying in this marriage for the family?! For you?!”

Your mother lets out a heavy sigh before leaning against the counter, “it won’t always be like-”

“Did you miss the bruise on his mother’s face? The concealer did a good job, but not good enough. When does it get better? What? You think that because dad got tired of putting his dick in every other whole so often, that I’ll be fine as long as I wait this out till I’m 50?”

“I know you hate this,” she sobs softly, “and I know you hate us for asking this of you, but it gets better. Quit your job, join the-” “I don’t want to join anything! I don’t want to quit my job-”

“It’ll make all of this easier! It’ll help ease his bruised ego-”

“Do you hear yourself right now?! Do you hear how pathetic it all sounds?!”

“Honey, it’s not a bad life-”

“I need to keep some part of me that is me. I’m not you. I can’t just wrap myself in someone and make them my entire personality. I can’t and I don’t want to. I saved you from a scandal by not going through with the damn divorce, I don’t know what you want from me!”

You hear how awful you sound, and while you feel bad, it’s not enough to make you take back what you said. You’re in misery because it’ll help your family avoid more shame that you were never responsible for in the first place. It’s not lost on you that Ransom isn’t going to whisk you away from this hell and make everything better, and you’ll would never expect him to. However, Ransom is the only person who has made you feel something other than pain and sadness. Yeah, there’s Daisy, but it’s not the same. You know that she’s your best friend and you know she means well, but she makes you feel bad for staying. She says that she understands, but it’s not like you to not have any fight in you.

Yeah, you know she’s right, but you don’t need anyone’s help in making you feel any worse. Almost every other day, she’s asking when you’ll leave Jack, and it doesn’t even help that she can’t suck it up for a day and just be there for you when you have to put up with mundane bullshit like you did today. You love her, and you know she’s looking out for you, but she’s someone else who wants something of you. Demands more of you.

Being with Ransom is easy because all he wants is sex. He makes you feel amazing, he looks at you as if he adores you, and for just a moment you’re able to forget about everything that hurts and frustrates you. Somehow, being with Ransom has become the only part of your life that isn’t complicated and stressful. The most hes ever asked is what your favorite kind of porn is, which is how you ended up getting fucked senseless on his balcony while there was a party going on.

“Jack is gonna find out and it’s gonna get messy,” your Mother sniffs, quickly wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“There’s nothing to find out.”

“Y/N-”

“Please, it’s been a long night and I’m tired. Just go home and drop it.”

“You’ll see,” is all she says before walking out.

You let out a frustrated sigh as you lean against the kitchen sink.

This is all your fault. Its gotta be. You were so naive when you were younger. Giving every one the benefit of the doubt, believing the best of everyone even when it was obvious that you shouldn’t have, ignoring all of the things you’d heard about Jack because they were only rumors...you could’ve avoided this by being an asshole just like everyone else.

“He’s asleep,” Ransom sighs as he makes his way into the kitchen, “wanna just come over with me?”

“What happened to your date?” you laugh, shaking your head as you look away from him.

“Left at some point,” he shrugs, walking over to you, “come with me.”

“Ransom-”

“It’s your anniversary and they’re a few gifts I wanna give you.”

“Ransom!” you scowl with a soft chuckle.

“I can stay here tonight if that’s easier for you.”

“What did Jack take from you that caused you to start an affair with his wife?”

Ransom looks you over before cupping your face, “don’t worry about it,” he almost whispers before dipping down and kissing you passionately.

You’re grateful that you two are pressed up against the kitchen sink, because as always , your knees go weak and you know it’s the only thing keeping you upright.

“I can’t stay tonight,” you breathe softly once you two break apart.

“What’s the point in coming back here?”

“Ransom-”

“Just leave with me.”

“Give me an hour or so, I’ll be there,” you promise with a small smile.

All he does in response is give you another soul stealing kiss before leaning his forehead against yours, then leaving.

What the fuck have you gotten yourself into?

You slowly and quietly make your way upstairs to your bedroom and let out a heavy sigh once you get to the doorway. You sit on the edge of the bed and look over at your husband (who is snoring rather loud).

Once upon a time, you would’ve felt bad about all of this. You could see in his eyes that he truly was hurt that you didn’t want to give yourself to him tonight, but what the hell did that mean to you? You had tried your hardest to make the marriage work, and he wanted nothing to do with you. Hell, he’s still going out and fucking around, but his half ass attempts at showing you an ounce of affection are supposed to change everything thats happened after all this time?

“Y/N,” he calls in his sleep as he turns over, “Y/N...I love you...love you so much,” he sighs before his snoring resumes.

There was a time that, that would’ve pulled at your heartstrings, but now? Now, there’s nothing. This marriage is just an obligation to you at this point. Jack won’t raise hell, your parents don’t have to deal with anymore shit, and you?

Well, there are worse things in life.

You change out of your outfit and into one of the Spring dresses Ransom loves you in (even though it is still a bit nippy outside), grab your car keys and phone, and head out the door to Ransom’s.

Ransom.

You know your Mother is right. He’s not going to magically make everything okay for you away and give you the life you thought you’d have, but for now, what he has to offer you is enough. You’re still not sure what exactly drew him to you, but you know you want it to last as long as possible. You can’t help but find it funny that Ransom is keeping you around for so long. From what Daisy has told you, Ransom doesn’t stick to one partner, and if he does, he makes sure to let her know that she isn’t special or the only one. But with you?

He’s not the same guy at all.

He wants you to stay, he’s possessive, he tells you (all the time) that you’re the best fuck hes ever had, and he tells you just how much he hates Jack for not taking care of you (only while fucking you of course). You’ve tried to stop whatever the hell you two are doing multiple times, but he won’t stand for it. The fact that he gets so pissed about your own husband fucking you speaks volumes, as far as you’re concerned.

But speaks to what?

You do your best to not think about it, because it’ll only drive you insane. You don’t know why he’s so possessive and that’s another reason you want to stop. During sex, you’re able to pretend that you’re not married and not doing anything wrong, well...when he isn’t bringing up what an ignorant piece of shit Jack is, you’re able to pretend, but after? When he holds you, plants feverish kisses up and down your neck, tells you that you need to leave Jack, strokes your arm until you fall asleep with your head on his chest....why? What’s the point of it?

No, he hasn’t said that there’s nothing special between you, but hes shown it. It’s not like he’s stopped with his threesomes and partying, you could hear him when he would take calls in the other room to let whoever know that he wouldn’t be fucking them that night, he showed up with dates (sometimes multiple) at every event he bothered to show up to, and he never text you outside of wanting sex from you. None of it makes any sense to you.

Yet, here you are, outside his house and knocking on his door, because you can’t fucking quit him.

“You have a key,” he growls as he picks you up and kicks the door shut.

There’s also that.

“Wasn’t sure if anyone else was here.”

“When I tell you to come over, know that you’re the only one I’m giving my time and attention to. You are always on my mind,” he husks as he pins you against the door and kisses you like he hasn’t seen you in months.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

“You need me, baby?” he smirks as you start to grind yourself against him.

“You know I do, daddy!”

“You looked so beautiful tonight, but this dress? You know what it does to me.”

“Wanted to look my best for you, daddy!”

“Tell me you’re gonna stay tonight,” he demands before assaulting your neck with kisses.

“You know I can’t,” you whimper, trying to remember exactly why you can’t stay over (even though they’re honestly so many reasons).

“Sweetheart-”

“I have a job, daddy! I can’t...fuck, please fuck me!” you beg as you feel your release coming on.

“Look at that, haven’t even gotten your clothes off, and you’re already begging me,” he taunts against your neck, and you feel his smart-ass smirk.

“Daddy, please!”

“Daddy’s gonna take care of you, baby. Especially since that other asshole can’t, and on your anniversary of all days,” he tuts.

Yeah, Ransom is sick, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t get you off. He loves bringing up that Jack is piece of shit, and you love when he does. It’s nice to hear someone besides you acknowledge it.

Ransom takes his time pulling you apart, loving the way you beg him for more and telling him that no one has ever made you feel as good as he does. Yeah, he loves your body and loves fucking you senseless, but you know that’s one of his major kinks. For whatever reason, he needs to hear you tell him that he’s a better lover than Jack. He needs it the way people need oxygen. Whatever happened between him and Jack has made him desperate for gratification from you. At this point, you’re sure you’ll never know, but why should it matter at this point? You both take what you need from each other, and then go your separate ways.

Whatever their issues are,are between them.

“Ya know,” Ransom starts as he lights his cigarette, “I think you wore that  dress cause you knew I wouldn’t rip it.”

“You’re not wrong,” you laugh as you lay your head on his chest.

The amount of times you’ve had to lie about where your dresses have disappeared to, and have had to hide the clothes that Ransom sends you home in is starting to become an issue.

“Call out tomorrow.”

“Stop it, Ransom,” you sigh, sitting up.

“What? Call out and stay here tonight.”

“Why do you always want me to stay here?”

“I like falling asleep next to you,” he shrugs before taking a drag from his cigarette.

“I’ve gotta get back,” you mutter, ignoring how happy his little statement makes you.

“Why, Y/N? What are you so desperate to get back to?”

“I’m not desperate for anything and you know that. However, at the end of the day, I’m still married to Jack, your best friend. I can’t just stay out all night.”

“One,” he sighs as he sits up and wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you close to him, “he isn’t my best friend. Two, he stays out all night, why can’t you?”

“It’s what expected of him, not me.”

“Don’t you get tired of making everyone else happy, but being miserable the whole time?”

“Ransom, please don’t-”

“Call out,” he encourages as he kisses you shoulder.

“Stop it, you know I can’t,” you moan, trying to hold on to the little bit of resolve you have left.

“You can do whatever you want, baby,” he presses as he ashes his cigarette, “and I know you wanna stay with me.”

“Ransom, don’t. You know-”

“I know you’re not happy,” he interrupts as he ashes his cigarette, “I know that being here with me is when you’re happiest,” he continues before trailing kisses all along your collar bone.

“Ransom-”

“Tell me the truth,” he begs pathetically, as his hand travels between your legs, finding that bundle of nerves that always makes you come alive for him.

“I...I...”

“You want me over him, don’t you?”

“Don’t-”

“Tell me the truth, Y/N. Right now, you need me more than you need him?” he questions as he picks up his pace.

“Fuck! Yes! I need...need you so much, Ransom!”

“There’s my good girl,” he chuckles before pushing down and straddling you, “gonna make you forget all about the piece of shit husband of yours,” he promises as he thrusts himself inside of you.

Ransom gets his way (as always), because after the last session, you’re in no condition to drive anywhere, let alone in any mood. As you settle against him, your head on his chest, you faintly hear him saying something, but you’re too exhausted to ask him what he’s saying. Instead, you drift off to him gently stroking your back, pretending this is how your life always is.

Pretending you’re always this content.

**

“You okay? You seem a little flustered,” your assistant, Danielle, notes as she drops off more files for you.

“I’m fine,” you lie with a shy smile, “I just feel flustered because I was a little late today.”

“You’re much farther along than planned,” she laughs as she goes to exit the room, “plus, last night was your anniversary. I’m sure that’s a fair reason for you to be a little late,” she smirks and you laugh. “Just don’t forget to breathe,” she laughs before exiting your room.

‘Don’t forget to breathe.’

You laugh harder than you mean to, because you feel like you haven’t been able to breathe since you left Ransom’s this morning.

When your alarm went off this morning, Ransom groaned and protested, telling you that missing a day of work wouldn’t be bad for you. Much to his dismay (and yours), you held strong and told him that you had to go. Besides the fact that you had been out all night, you know that you need to stop whatever the hell is going on between you and Ransom.

So, as a form of protest, he teased you until you were desperate to ride his face, which then resulted into him fucking you senseless for an hour.

You were an hour and a half late for work.

However, the real reason you’re so flustered, is because you don’t understand Ransom, at all. He doesn’t want commitment, he doesn’t do love, and he doesn’t do loyalty. Hell, he’s happily sleeping with his best friend’s wife, but you’re supposed to believe that he’d actually commit to you full time?

There’s no way you’d ever let yourself believe that. You let yourself give Jack the benefit of the doubt, and look how that’s going.

So, instead of dealing with any of your thoughts, you decide to work your ass off instead, because you need something besides your current drama filled life to focus on.

“Shit, you really do work your ass off,” Ransom chuckles causing you to jump.

“Ransom! What...you can’t be here!” you whisper as he closes the door.

“Why not?”

“Ransom-”

“Relax, sweetheart. Not gonna fuck in here...just yet,” he smirks as he takes a seat in front of your desk, “I figured you could use a lunch break.”

“What?”

“Well, I know I ate breakfast this morning-”

“Ransom!”

“But you didn’t,” he laughs. “Clearly, you didn’t go home, so you didn’t make yourself a lunch. So lets go out and get something to eat.”

“I can’t just-”

“You’re not a robot, sweetheart. You need to eat.”

“Ransom...why?”

“You said the other night that I don’t know anything about you, and while that’s far from the truth, I realized that you don’t really know anything about me.”

“Ransom-”

“I like you, Y/N. You know how often I beg someone for anything? How often I let a woman stay the night? Never. I like you and I’m pretty damn sure you like me.”

“Sex doesn’t equal affection.”

Ransom just laughs and shakes his head before saying, “lunch is just a meal, darlin’. I don’t plan on fucking you on the table, unless you beg me to, so I don’t see the harm in any of it.”

“Ransom.”

“It’s just lunch,” he repeats.

Why can’t you ever tell him no?

“I only have an hour for lunch,” you mutter with a frustrated sigh.

“You can take a little longer than that.”

“Ransom-”

“Sweetheart, you’re never late to work. You’re allowed to have an off day.”

“And how would you know?”

“I’ve been keeping tabs on you.”

“Why?”

“Because,” he smirks as he gets up, “I like you.”

Against your better judgement, you get up and grab your jacket, before following him out of the building with everyone’s eyes on the both of you. Ransom has a reputation, so it only make sense that everyone is wondering what the fuck you’re doing with him. At his insistence, you ride along with him in his Beamer to wherever the hell hes decided you two should eat at for lunch. The car ride is silent, mainly because you don’t know what to say and Ransom loves how uncomfortable you are, but a small gasp leaves your mouth when he pulls up to the restaurant.

No, it wasn’t anything fancy, but it definitely wasn’t necessarily cheap.

“Ransom...you don’t...we can go someplace else.”

“Just think of this as our first date,” he laughs as he shuts off the engine. “Besides, seafood is your favorite, isn’t it?”

“Ransom, if anything, this is an early dinner and I have to get back to work-”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes I do?”

“I told your job that I want you in charge of the changes we’re making to the look of the publishing company.”

“No...Ransom, you didn’t! Jack-”

“Won’t suspect a fucking thing because he’s an idiot. Plus, this is a business lunch or dinner since I’ve already hired you.”

“You don’t even know-”

“I imagine you’re paid so well and so high up in the company for a reason, right?”

“Ransom, I-”

“I have faith you’re not gonna fuck this up. So, stop stressing, and lets go eat, okay?”

It’s more of a demand than a request, but you follow his lead nonetheless and follow him into the restaurant, fighting the urge to hide into yourself as you’re both seated. Ransom’s gaze on you is invasive and you do your absolute best to avoid it as you look around the restaurant.

Why the fuck did you agree to this?

“Welcome to Fish, my name is Jonathan and I’ll be your server tonight,” the waiter smiles at the both of you as he approaches the table, “can I start you both off with drinks?

“I’ll have a water-”

“She’ll have a Mai Tai and I’ll have a bourbon on the rocks,” Ransom interrupts with an irritated sigh.

“Coming right up,” the waiter smiles before walking off.

“Ya know, we’re not going to get anywhere if you’re tense the entire time,” he mutters as he looks over his menu.

“I don’t know exactly know what it is that you want from me.”

“Would it helped if I fucked you in the bathroom?”

“Stop it, Ransom!” you snap quietly as he lets out a full bodied laugh.

“Jesus, it’s just drinks, food, and conversation. Relax.”

“Says the one who isn’t married. How the fuck do you even know you like me?”

“I’ve liked you for a while.”

“Yeah okay.”

“I mean it.”

“How long is a while, Ransom?”

“Remember in first grade? When Tommy Smotts was picking on me about my clothes?”

“You...you remember that?”

“I think about it every day.”

“You never said anything...you never spoke to me.”

“Why would I? You were nice and, in the world we live in, there’s no room for nice people. I kept waiting for you to turn into this bitchy party girl, like every other girl did, but you just kept being sweet and kind. Then you met Jack.”

“If you liked me, why didn’t you say anything? Why’d you let Jack scoop me up?”

“Why not? It wasn’t my business or concern. You’re both adults and capable of making your own choices-”

“But you wanted me and, from what I’ve heard, you’re the king of getting what you want.”

“You’re different.”

“How so?” you ask as the waiter places your drinks down.

“Can I start you two off with some appetizers?”

“No, but keep the drinks coming. We’ll be here for a while,” Ransom smirks, his eyes never leaving you.

What the fuck have you gotten yourself into now?

**

“He’s such a liar! That’s not what happened at all!” you laugh as your next round of drinks are brought out.

“That’s what Jack said!” Ransom laughs.

“He’s a fucking liar! That’s not what happened at all! He locked us out of the Air BnB because he’s hard headed, then talked me into scaling the side of the house because he was afraid he’d fall and break something.”

“You scaled the side of a house for him even though it was his fault?”

“In my defense, I was in love,” you shrug as you take a sip of your drink.

“So, what do you know about me?” Ransom asks as he sits back a little, signature smirk playing on his lips.

“I don’t know anything about except that you like to fuck.”

“What have you heard about me?” he chuckles.

“A lot of unkind things.”

“I can take it.”

“You’re a scumbag, you only lookout for yourself, you’re a cheater, a liar, you have a terrible temper, you had a hand in Harlan’s murder, you treat women like trash....the list goes on.”

“Yet, you chose to start this relationship with me.”

“It’s not a relationship, Ransom. We fuck and that’s it.”

“Then why do you stay whenever I tell you to?”

“I’ve been asking myself that for the last few months.”

“Because you like me too.”

“I like the way you fuck me.”

“You’re still gonna hide behind that after everything?”

“I’m not hiding from anything, Ransom. I’m married to someone else, and in all honesty, this shouldn’t have ever started.”

“Then why did you let it start?”

“You caught me in a vulnerable state.”

“And the second time?”

“You caught me in a vulnerable state,” you smirk and he laughs.

“Well, what do you want to know?”

“Why you want me.”

“I like you.”

“Ransom, that’s not a fucking reason.”

“It is for me. I’ve never been infatuated with someone for this long, it only makes sense that I should act on it, don’t you agree?”

“It wasn’t enough for you to stop the wedding.”

“That’s what you think.”

“Ransom-”

“I like you, Y/N. I like you a lot and more than I should. I’m not going to tell you to leave him, because it’s not enough for you is it? I don’t want to commit and you don’t wanna commit to me because you have no reason to.”

“Ransom-”

“But you’re still here though, aren’t you?”

“So what?”

“You want to explore this as much as I do.”

“I don’t want to explore anything with you, Ransom,” you sigh as your phone starts going off. “Jesus Christ.”

“You can answer him.”

“I don’t want to answer him. God, how is this my life now?”

“You can always come with me.”

“Ha ha,” you mumble before taking a long sip of your drink. “It’s late, I have to get back.”

“We haven’t eaten yet.”

“What is this Ransom? Why are you fucking with me?”

“I’m not, I told you; I like you.”

“You don’t-”

“You love to dance around while you cook, you think pants are ridiculous and that’s why you’re always wearing dresses and skirts, you love horror movies but have to watch something funny after or you can’t sleep, you love football and baseball, you’ll listen to anything but you favor 90’s grunge, you spend the first half of your Saturdays watching cartoons, you spend most of your holiday time volunteering at shelters, should I go on?”

“...how...”

“I pay more attention than you think, sweetheart. That crystal blue earring and necklace dragonfly set Jack got you for your two year anniversary? That was my idea because he doesn’t pay any fucking attention to you and doesn’t have a fucking clue what you like,” he mutters, frustration very apparent.

“Then why didn’t you say anything before now?”

“I told you why.”

“And I don’t believe you.”

“Y/N-”

“You’re the one that wanted to do this. Answer the question.”

“I just...”

“You just what?”

“You were never gonna give me a chance, Y/N. Between my reputation, my shitty family...you have more reasons to say no than yes.”

“You didn’t even try.”

“What would you have said?”

“Then? I honestly don’t know. Now? No.”

“Why no now?!”

“Ransom, that can’t be a serious question.”

“You like me-”

“I don’t know you! I just...you just...it’s complicated, Ransom. All of this is so complicated. I just wanna go away.”

“Lets go away together,” he suggests as if it’s not a big deal.

“You’re hilarious, truly. You could be a fucking comedian.”

“Lets fucking go. It’s not like Jack will notice. He barely pays attention to you now,” he mutters.

“Thanks for that,” you snap as your phone goes off again. “Fuck, let me just...hello?”

“I’ve been calling you for over an hour!” Jack snaps. “Where have you been?!”

“I do have a job, ya know. I decided to treat myself to dinner.”

“You haven’t been home-”

“Can we not do this? I put up with your shit last night and I don’t fucking feel like dealing with it again tonight.”

“Y/N...I’m sorry, alright? I didn’t want it to happen that way. I really...I wanted to get it right.”

“Funny how you always want to get it right and still fuck it up every single time.”

“Just come home, please? I’ll make it up to you-”

“It was our fucking anniversary and you embarrassed me, yet again, in front of the people you insisted we have over. There’s no way can make it up to me. It’s done. Four years of this shit-”

“Stop it. You know I love and would do anything for you-”

“No, I don’t know any of that, because you’ve never shown or proved any of that.”

“Just come tonight and I’ll-”

“Why should I, Jack? Give me a good fucking reason.”

“Because I love you,” he sighs and you can tell that he’s tired.

Yeah well, you’re tired too.

“I don’t feel like doing this with you, Jack. Not today.”

“Please just come home-”

“What for?”

“You’re my wife, Y/N. You should already be-”

“Me being your wife doesn’t seem to stop you from all of the shady shit you always fucking do.”

“Please-”

“I don’t know, I might stay at Daisy’s again.”

“I don’t like you staying over there! She stays out all night and-”

“So do you,” you laugh incredulously, “at least she pays attention to me.”

“Honey-”

“I gotta go, I’ll talk to you later,” you sigh before hanging up.

“Ya know, he’s gonna text me soon. Should I tell him I have plans or...”

“I can’t keep doing this with you, Ransom. I-”

“Why not? It’s not like he’s being faithful to you, so what’s the big deal?”

“Because this isn’t who I am, Ransom. This is never the life I wanted! It’s not...it’s not the life I thought I’d....” you sigh as you wipe away a lone tear.

Why can’t you be more selfish? Why can’t you jus walk away from all of this?

“Lets go away together, just you and me,” Ransom suggests again.

“That’s not funny-”

“I’m not joking.”

“We can’t just go away-”

“He isn’t going to notice, baby. I know you don’t want to face that fact, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s just that: a fact. Tell him it’s for work, and we’ll go wherever you want.”

“Ransom...this isn’t a relationship.”

“It can be.”

“No, it really can’t. We can’t keep-”

“You like me, babe.”

“Whether I do or not-”

“You do.”

“Ransom, I’m married. It doesn’t matter that Jack is an asshole, this isn’t me. Sleeping around and having a “relationship” on the side...God, what the fuck is wrong with me?!”

“You’re unhappy.”

“You’re never going to commit to me-”

“You don’t know that.

“Well would you? Would you walk away from all of it just for me?”

“Would you?”

“I’m not the one with something to prove, Ransom. You have reputation, I don’t.”

“That’s fair,” he sighs as he leans back.

“I need to get home.”

“You need to eat.”

“Ransom-”

“Another round of drinks?” the waiter asks with a smile.

Before you can even think, Ransom is answering, “she’ll have the crab-stuffed lobster and I’ll take the surf and turf, and yeah, we’ll take another round of drinks.”

The waiter just smiles and nods before walking off.

“I have to go!”

“You haven’t eaten all day and you’ve had 4 Mai Tai’s. I’m not taking you back on an empty stomach.”

“You don’t have to worry about me.”

“It seems that’s all I ever do these days,” he mutters as he finishes off the rest of his drink as the new ones arrive.

“So...what’s wrong with you?” you question softly, starting to play with your fingers.

“Excuse me?”

“Why does everyone think you’re so terrible?”

“Because I am,” he smirks, as if he’s proud of himself.

“Then what the hell is so special about me?”

“Because you’re not like everyone else here. You’re not like the other...you didn’t let all of this shit leave you jaded. Even now, dealing with Jack and me...you’re being nicer than either of us deserve...I tried, okay? I just wanted to fuck and that would’ve been fine, but you...you’re still the same girl I had a crush in kindergarten, whether you see it or not.”

“No, I’m really not.”

“Daisy is still your best friend and she’s probably one of the biggest party girls around. You’ve never been anything but loyal to her and you’ve always defended her. Whenever you bother to go out, you laugh the loudest and dance until your feet hurt or your heels break. You still donate entirely too much money to charities and I know that you still give money to homeless guys on the street. You’re actually a good person, Y/N. Maybe if I wasn’t such a piece of shit, I would have pursued you a while ago, but I know that I’m not worthy of you. Hell, no one in this little group of shit heads is, but it doesn’t change the fact that I want you. I want you to myself and I want you bad. Why do you think I never kick you out of bed? Always beg you to stay? Beg at all?

Then Jack just fucking parades you around all the goddamn time...the fuck is so special about him? I took notice of you before everyone else did, so why the fuck does he get to be married to you? Why the fuck does he get to have your love and affection?” he scowls as the food is delivered.

Cue light bulb.

“Ransom, am I....did Jack steal me from you?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Ransom-”

“He didn’t even pay attention to you until I said something about you. I was fucked up at some fucking event my parents were throwing...you were wearing that dress with the fucking flowers...the one I destroyed last month, which really wasn’t my fault because your tits looked amazing in it. Anyway, I said something about how you always look beautiful and it’s frustrating...two weeks later, he’s flirting with you at your parents fucking dinner party.”

“So why...he never actually wanted me?”

“He did, but he didn’t see a reason to act on it until I said something. Apparently, I get everything I want and he wasn’t about to let that happen again. The thing is, I never would have gone after you, Y/N. Seeing you with him though...Y/N, he’s a fucking bastard and you know it.”

“So this just a pissing competition between the two of you?!”

“Can’t be much of a competition if he doesn’t know we’re seeing each other.”

“We’re not-”

“Yes we are, Y/N. Yeah, it’s just fucking, but you have feelings for me just as much as I have feelings for you. I may be the one asking you to stay over, but you always do. You’re in just as deep as I am.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Say that we can go away together and explore this more.”

“Ransom, I’m married-”

“To a complete piece of shit! Babe, you know you can leave him. You can leave and do whatever you want.”

“Like taking a chance on you?”

”Would it really be so bad?” he asks so softly, you barely hear him.

“Ransom, I just can’t take-”

“Why not? What’s so wrong with it? It’s a bit too fucking late have a moral compass about all of this.”

“You didn’t have to kiss me.”

“And you could’ve said no,” he replies with a coy smirk, but his tone lets you know that he’s hurt.

“I have to get back.”

“Eat.”

“Ransom-”

“Eat first and then I’ll take you back to your car,” he sighs in defeat.

The rest of the time spent at the restaurant is spent in silence and you feel like shit. Ransom is a lot of things, but you can tell he meant everything he said. When it was time to pay, Ransom whipped out his wallet before you could even reach for your purse. When you try and thank him, he just shakes his head and offers you a small smile.

When the fuck did all of this get so complicated?

“I can pay you back for the dinner,” you mumble softly once Ransom pulls up next to your car in the parking garage.

“It’s on me.”

“It was expensive-”

“It wasn’t expensive at all.”

“Okay, to normal people, it was expensive.”

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” he chuckles softly.

“We’ve got to stop, Ransom. This isn’t...it’s better if we stop.”

“Do you want to?”

“That’s not the point-”

“Sweetheart, do you want to stop?” he asks, taking your chin in his forefinger and forces your attention on him.

You don’t have the strength to lie and tell him ‘no’, because you don’t want to stop. Everything you’ve been looking for from Jack, Ransom gives you without hesitation. No, it’s not love, but there’s still affection, passion, and pleasure.

God, so much fucking pleasure.

The fact that you’re not saying a thing lets him know that he has you, and without hesitation, he’s dipping down and kissing you passionately.

And just like that, you’re reminded why you can’t quit him.

His kisses are always so desperate and urgent, but he’s got the softest fucking lips. No matter how aggressive and filthy the sex is, there’s still a softness in the way that he holds you. The way he caresses your face, grips your hair, cradles you...it all feels like heaven.

Ransom always feels like heaven.

In no time at all, you’re climbing into his lap and straddling him. Since he ripped off your panties last night, the only one who has to do any work is him.

“Always so wet for me, baby,” he groans as he teases your clit.

“You make me feel so good, Ransom! I can’t get enough,” whimper, grinding yourself against his hard length.

“You want me, sweetheart?”

“I always want you, daddy!”

“Then take it, baby. Take whatever you want from me, I’m yours,” he husks against your neck before kissing it.

Yes, you’re the one who keeps saying that you two need to stop, but it’s hard to think straight whenever his lips are anywhere on your body.

The gasp that leaves your mouth as you slide yourself down on his length has him smirking against your neck, “I love it when you make that sound.”

“You stretch me so good, baby,” you moan as you start to ride him.

Since you two are in the drivers seat of his car, your body is pressed up against his, and that makes his tight grip on you that much more pleasurable. Feeling his breath on your skin makes you all that much more desperate in the most pleasurable way.

“Could get lost in you forever,” he grunts, thrusting up into you, causing you to lull your head back and moan, “you look so fucking beautiful, baby. Most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.”

You look down at him, your hair falling in front of your face, and you start thinking about it. Yeah, pleasure is slightly clouding your judgement, but would it really be so bad to go away with him? Seeing if there’s anything more to this than just sex? Hes got a point: you are tired of making everyone else happy while you’re miserable, and for however fleeting it is, Ransom makes you happy.

However, the fact remains that Ransom is Ransom, and you’re terrified of getting hurt again.

“Gonna...gonna cum soon, baby,” you moan, gripping his shoulders tight.

“Give it to me, sweetheart! Cum hard for daddy!”

“Fuck!” you gasp as you squirt hard, leaning your forehead against his as he fills you with his desire, a low guttural growl leaving his mouth as he buries his face into the crook of your neck.

You really do wish you could just stop.

“Come home with me.”

“I can’t, baby,” you breathe, pushing your hair back as you lift your head up.

“Sweetheart-”

“I’ve gotta go, Ransom. Thank you for dinner,” you smile at him before kissing him softly.

You ease yourself off of him slowly, navigating your way back to the passengers seat as gracefully as you can while his release drips down your leg, and smooth out your dress. You take a deep breath before grabbing your purse and getting out of Ransom’s car.

You don’t know why your seems to break a little, telling yourself that it’s not because you feel something other than desperate desire for Ransom, because why would you? How could you? You barely know the man. But you know it’s a lie. Somehow, Ransom has found a place in your heart.

He did the moment you opened your legs for him the first time.

**

It’s been forever since you’ve fucked in a car, so it makes sense that your legs are sore as you walk up the steps to the place where you live. As you fish through your purse for your house key, the door whips open revealing a furious Jack.

Great.

“Where the fuck were you?!” he demands as soon as you walk in.

“I told you that I took myself out for dinner, as usual, you weren’t listening,” you mutter, hanging your jacket up and kicking your shoes off.

“I called Daisy and she said that you hadn’t been by since you left for work this morning!”

Thank you Daisy for knowing when to lie.

“Are you fucking high? Cause that’s the only way to explain this conversation.”

“Don’t get cute with me!” he snaps, following you into the kitchen.

Yeah, he’s high as shit.

“I don’t understand why you’re getting mad about information you already knew, but okay, lets have another senseless argument. What’s wrong with poor old Jack tonight?” you sigh as reach for a glass.

“You don’t stay out all fucking night, Y/N! You can’t-”

“You do it all the fucking time, Jack! At least you knew where the fuck I was,” you scoff, pouring yourself a glass of whiskey.

When the hell did you start drinking so much?

“That’s different! I’m trying to save this-”

“Please do not say this marriage,” you laugh incredulously, finally turning to face him. “You’ve done nothing make sure this marriage fails for the last two fucking years. So no, you don’t get to stand here and bitch to me because you had to jerk your own dick for the last few months when you can’t find a cunt to get cozy in,” you spit, venom laced in every word.

You see the storm brewing in his eyes before you feel the sting across your face.

Yes, he’s come close to hitting a few times, especially when he’s fucked up, but hes never actually done it.

Your shock soon turns into an all consuming rage and you slap him back, with as much force as you can muster.

“You little bitch!” he yells before lunging at you.

Before you know it, you two are in an all out brawl in the kitchen. Thank God the the knives are in the drawers, because nothing seems to be off limits. If Jack isn’t hitting you with his fists or a plate, he’s biting you, and if can’t kick him, you’re reaching for whatever the closest object is and smashing him over the head with it. However, in the end, he gets the upper hand and is straddling you, beating you as if you’re the one who started this mess of a marriage in the first place.

When all is said, you lay on the floor bloodied and bruised, as he catches his breath and slowly rises to his feet.

“You are my wife, Y/N. It’s time you start fucking act like it. Don’t make me have to put you in line again. When I get back, I expect all of this shit to be cleaned up,” he demands, kicking you before he walks out of the kitchen.

You quietly sob as you hear him shuffle around, putting on his shoes and grabbing his keys, before you finally hear the front door slam. This is why you’re sticking around? To be some piece of shit’s personal punching bag when you give him a taste of his own medicine? No, there has to be a life that’s better than this.

You give yourself a few moments to get yourself together, before you finally pull yourself up and pour yourself another drink, seeing as the other one was ruined when you threw the glass at Jack. You hobble out to the living area where your purse is and grab it, searching through it until you find your phone and calling the only person you have the strength and energy for at the moment.

“Hey babe, I’m on my way out. What’s up?” Daisy asks when she finally answers the phone.

“I need you to take me to the hospital,” you mumble since your lips have started to swell.

“What happened?!”

“I’ll tell you when you get here.”

With that, you hang up and make your way back into the kitchen, trying to ignore the pain in your heart that seems to outweigh the physical pain you’re feeling. You take a seat on a bar stool and resume your drinking when you feel your phone buzz.

Part Time Lover: I know you said no, but just come over tonight. I know Jack is out, cause he just called me all fucked up, so just stay over. Jesus, you can even start keeping clothes here if you want, I just want you here.

You don’t mean to laugh (mainly because it fucking hurts), but what else can you do? Not only did your husband just beat the shit out of you, but now you have Ransom practically begging you to start a relationship with him. You went from having the perfect life to living in a goddamn soap opera, and you’re not even sure who’s in charge anymore.

Cause it sure as shit isn’t you.

You’re in the middle of pouring your second drink when there’s a pounding on your door. You make your way over to it as fast as you can, your new limp slowing you down, but when you open the door you wish you would have taken time because as soon as you open the door.

“WHAT HAPPENED?!” Daisy yells as she makes her way inside.

“Please, I can’t do yelling right now.”

“Y/N-”

“Jack and I got into a fight. He won.”

“Jack did this?!”

“He stays out all night and it’s fine. I stay out all night and this happens.” “Yeah, he called me about that. Where the hell were you?”

“I’m not really ready to talk about that just yet. Can you please take me to the hospital? I’ve too many drinks and my entire body hurts, and I need to change the locks before that piece of shit gets home.”

“Yeah, c’mon. Lets get you fixed up,” she sighs, grabbing your sweater off the coat rack and helping you get into it.

“I need you to help me with the locks being changed, please.”

“Anything, whatever you need,” she promises as she helps you to her car.

“Dais, I promise I’ll tell where I was...what I’ve been up to, I just-”

“That doesn’t matter right now, wen just need to get you some help.”

It’s time like these that you’re extremely grateful for Daisy. No, you don’t have a habit of getting beat up by anyone, but Daisy always knows when to press on certain subjects and when to let them go. Yes, you still wish that she could suck it up from time to time and just be there for you when you need her, but she still shows up for you more than anyone else, and supports all of your good decisions more than anyone else.

By the time you show up at the hospital and are shown a room, you just want to go to bed. You know that you need to do this so that you can get some sort of restraining order against Jack, but you’re just so fucking tired. You’re about to tell Daisy your plan when your phone starts buzzing again.

Part Time Lover: Alright, what the fuck is going on? Jack just showed up with a busted lip, a bruise on his jaw, and there’s swelling around his right eye. He’s also bleeding from his ear and it looks like a bite mark? What the hell happened?!

Y/N: Don’t let him leave your house.

Part Time Lover: What happened? Are you okay?

Y/N: Ransom, do not let him leave your house.

Part Time Lover: I’m coming over.

Y/N: Ransom, please. Just keep him there and I don’t know, get him drunk or something.

Part Time Lover: Fine.

“Alright,” you tell Daisy softly, “Jack is at Ransom’s. Call Dan’s Locksmith Shop and tell them you need an emergency job done and that cost isn’t an issue. Meet them there-”

“What about you? I can’t leave you here-”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll take a car service or something.” “Babe-”

“Daisy, I want him out of the house. Please, you can sleepover tonight if it’ll make you feel better, but I’ll feel a lot better once this is done. Please.”

“Fine,” she sighs in frustration.

“Now, they’re three hidden entrances, do you remember?”

“Yeah, and the trick window by the cellar.”

“Perfect. Now, have two keys made. One for me and one for you-”

“I get a key?”

“You always get a key,” you smirk and she laughs. “I’ll call you when I’m on my way home,” you promise.

“Are you sure you’re okay to be alone?”

“I’ll be fine, please.”

“Alright alright,” she sighs, kissing your forehead before making her way out.

As she goes out, the doctor comes in, and immediately gives you a look of pure sympathy.

That’s the last thing you want right now.

“Looks like you got beat up pretty bad. Wanna tell me what happened?” he asks softly, taking a seat on the chair in front of you.

You mean to tell the truth but what comes out instead is, “I got into a car accident.”

Filling out the paperwork would be a bitch and you don’t want the whole damn county in your business. You’re not even a member of the country club, but even you know how badly those women gossip and how vicious they can be. Not even thinking about how much you don’t wanna hear your mother’s thoughts on the situation, you don’t want to deal with the looks, the whispers, and the sympathetic looks.

‘Poor little Y/N, ended up in the same type of marriage as her mother.’

You’re not about to the new town gossip topic.

You can tell that the doctor doesn’t believe you, but he doesn’t push it

. “Well, we should take a few x-rays and you’re gonna need some stitches.”

“Stitch me up, doc,” you smile weakly.

As the night goes on and you get fixed up, you can’t stop thinking about everything Ransom said. The fact that he remembered you sticking up for him all those years ago, how he never asked you out because of fear of rejection, and Jack.

The fact that your husband only went after you out of pure spite...how could you not see it? The more you think about it, the more you see all the signs you missed and you just want to kick yourself. At least Ransom had a slightly more believable story, because you both had that interaction...that one time, but with Jack...you two had never even spoken until that day. The more you think about it, the more you want to cry.

While doctor finishes up the last few stitches over your eye, you try and think about what your next move is. How the hell do you get out of your marriage and what the fuck are you gonna do about Ransom?

**

It’s been two weeks since the fight with Jack, which means that its been two weeks since hes stepped foot into the house.

That was a shit show.

“Y/N, are you fucking serious?! You changed the fucking locks on me?! OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!” he screamed, pounding on the door outside.

“You’re okay, I promise,” Daisy tried to reassure you as shook in her arms with tears streaming down your face. “He can’t get in here, I made them check multiple times that everything was taken care of.”

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, Y/N! THIS IS MY FUCKING HOUSE TOO!” he roared, only pounding on the door harder.

Eventually, he got fed up and called the cops, but the minute they saw your face they told him it may be best for him to go somewhere else. That’s when the constant calling and texting started. A million apologies, promising that it’ll never happen again, telling you that he just wasn’t himself that night, and a million other useless promises. When that didn’t work, he called for help from your mother.

That didn’t make anything better.

“Y/N, open up this damn door right now and tell me what the hell is going on!” she screeched from the other side of the door.

You let out a frustrated sigh as you made your way over to the front the door.

The second you opened the door, her whole demeanor changed. “Oh sweetheart...he didn’t say....what did you do to provoke him?”

“This is my fault?!”

“I’m just saying...you know his father has a temper and I know that you can push buttons sometimes-”

“Okay, I’m you fucking daughter! Just this one time, can you take my side?!”

“I’m not saying that I’m not, it’s just...you already make more money than him and you know it bruises his ego-”

“Then maybe he should work harder instead of sleeping with every woman that flashes herself at him!”

“I’m not trying to make you upset-”

“Then you wouldn’t have asked what I did to provoke him! Jesus Christ! I stayed in this marriage for you! I tried to make it work for you! And this,” you emphasized as you pointed to your face, “is what happened! So you don’t get to come here and make me feel like shit!” you screamed at her.

She didn’t say anything else, she just nodded and walked away.

There was also the Ransom issue.

You hadn’t spoken to him since he asked him to keep Jack at his house, and he was getting fed up. It doesn’t help that he still doesn’t know what the hell happened, so after the fourth day of you ignoring him, he decided to act on revenge.

Which backfired on him.

“Hey, remember that house party Ransom had a month ago? The one where he fucked that chick on his balcony for everyone to see?” Daisy asked with a sly smirk on her face as she brought dinner into the bedroom.

You froze almost instantly, “uhm, I don’t think I was there.”

“Are you sure? I’m pretty sure I saw you there. I know for a fact that Jack was there.”

“I didn’t go because I didn’t feel like watching Jack flirt with other girls.”

“Hmm, maybe that’s why you let Ransom fuck you on his balcony.”

“Daisy-”

“He snitched on himself,” she laughed, loving the shocked look on your face. “I honestly didn’t think you had it in you! Not only did you cheat on Jack in front of everyone, but you also got your insides re-arranged in public?! Little Miss Modesty?!”

“Stop it, Dais,” you commented, feeling so incredibly small.

“What?! I’m fucking proud, honestly. Fuck Jack, at least now you’ve been fucked properly.”

“Dais-”

“You can’t tell me you feel bad about it!”

“It’s been going on for almost a year! I feel awful!”

“You’ve kept this from me for a year?!”

“I’ve kept it from everyone,” you sighed, feeling even worse, “we were just in our own little world and it was nice to have something for myself. It started on Jack and I’s vow renewal party last year, and every time I tried to stop...I just fucking couldn’t. Yeah, I know Ransom still sleeps around, but when I’m with him...Daisy, I just fucking forget how miserable I am for a while. Everything Jack hasn’t made me feel in the last few years, Ransom makes me feel, and I know, okay? I know it’s wrong and all of that, but he makes it so fucking hard to quit.”

“That’s the Ransom effect for sure,” she scoffed.

“Wait, how did he snitch on himself?”

“Well, he brought me back to his house last night and we were in the middle of hooking up when he moaned your name.”

“Excuse me?!”

What a piece of shit.

“Oh God, what did I do wrong?”

“Not you, him,” you growled.

“Fuck.”

“The night that everything happened with Jack...he took me out to dinner and said all of these things...then, he goes and fucks you?! My best friend?!”

“If I had known, I wouldn’t have-”

“It’s not on you, Dais, it’s him. Whatever, it doesn’t fucking matter.”

“I mean...I wouldn’t...ya know what? I’m keeping my mouth shut.”

“Oh no you don’t! Tell me!”

“You kept this whole thing from me for a year-”

“That’s different and you know it!”

“Babe-”

“Tell me, Dais.”

“I don’t know, maybe it was because he was drunk, or maybe it’s because he’s annoyed that hes been having to play housemates with Jack for two weeks, but the man really does seem hurt.”

“What do you mean?”

“I didn’t tell him anything, and he was drunk, but he admitted that he is worried about you. He’s mad that you won’t answer him...babe, why won’t you answer him? What happened?

“Daisy-”

“I never push, your secrets are always your own, but you’ve got to tell me something. This isn’t you, Ransom doesn’t care about anyone, but now he’s having revenge sex with your best friend, well...attempting to, and you’re getting mad about it? Ya gotta give me something, babe.”

So, you reluctantly told her everything. It’s not like you don’t trust Daisy with everything, but you were ashamed of yourself. You were ashamed of all of it. No matter what had happened between you and Jack, you weren’t a cheater. The relationship had turned you into someone you weren’t and for what? Some fractures, a busted lip, a few broken ribs, and a few too many bruises? Who the hell are you?

“It’s not like I want you to end up with Ransom,” Daisy started after you finished, “but I don’t think he’s lying.”

“Dais-”

“I’m not rooting for the kid-”

“He attempted to sleep with you, knowing that you’re my best friend-”

“Like I said, I’m not rooting for the guy, but I also get it. I genuinely do, from both sides. Ransom has never given a shit about anyone other than himself, at least not as far as anyone knows of, and then you came along. You gave him all the attention he wanted then took it away. Of course he doesn’t know how to react. I’ll definitely slash his tires the next time I see him, but I understand where he’s coming from.”

“He still tried to fuck you! He did!”

“Eh,” she shrugged, “his game was off and he didn’t cum. Plus, he was thinking about you, so that also takes points away. Tried is the right word.”

“Daisy!” you laughed, finally taking out your chopsticks and opening your container of dumplings. “Whatever, it doesn’t matter. I don’t care.”

“Don’t lie to me, or yourself for that matter.”

“I’m not!”

“Babe, if you didn’t care, you wouldn’t have gotten so upset about him putting his dick in me,” she smiled sympathetically.

You hate that she had a point, because that meant all of the words he said to you in the restaurant actually meant something to you.

However, you’re still pissed at him, which is why you still haven’t responded to him.

You let out an aggravated sigh as your phone goes off for what feels like the millionth time. If it’s not Jack, it’s Ransom.

Part Time Lover: Jesus, can you just answer your fucking phone and talk to me?!

Y/N: Go away, Ransom.

Part Time Lover: WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO?! I’M HOUSING YOUR HUSBAND RIGHT NOW! I THINK IT’S PRETTY FUCKING NICE OF ME SEEING AS HE’S WITH YOU AND I’M NOT!

Y/N: Besides try and fuck Daisy? Nothing.

Part Time Lover: Why are you mad at me if there’s nothing going on between us?

Y/N: You’re a fucking asshole, Ransom. I’m done with all of this shit.

Part Time Lover: The fuck you are! This is bullshit, I’m coming over!

Y/N: DO NOT!

When he doesn’t respond, you know you’re fucked and that he’s on his way. Besides the fact that you don’t want him to see you in your current state, you just don’t want to see him. Whatever you’re feeling towards him, you just want it go away, because he’s too much of a risk. You’re already in a fragile state and you need to start taking better care of your heart.

Yes, Ransom had shown you in his own way that he could be sweet when he wanted to be, but he also fucked Daisy all because you wouldn’t answer his calls and texts. He could have fucked anyone else, but he fucked Daisy to hurt you. You’re not about to leave Jack just to end up in the same damn situation.

You just want to start fresh. Hell, maybe you’ll even move. You’ve been tired of Marlborough for years anyway.

With an aggravated groan, you get out of bed and decide it’s time for you to figure out dinner. Daisy is probably gonna be out all night, so you really only need to worry about yourself. A sharp bang on your front door causes you to jump as you reach the landing, and you make a mental note to slap the shit out of Ransom when you’re back to full health.

“I know you’re home, Y/N! Open up so we can talk!” Ransom demands and you roll your eyes.

Home. What’s it like to have one of those?

“I’m not leaving and you know I’ll stand here all goddamn night if I have to! Open the fucking door!”

Besides the fact that you don’t want to get into a screaming match at 8pm, you really don’t want him to see all your scars and bruises. Hell, you’ve been working from home since everything happened. Ransom constantly calls you the most beautiful woman hes ever seen, but now? God, he’s gonna think you’re hideous now.

“Y/N!”

“What, Ransom?”

“I wanna talk to you, not your fucking door. Open up!”

“Ransom-”

“Jesus Christ, I’ll keep my fucking hands to myself, okay?! Open the fucking door!”

You let out a defeated sigh and unlock the door, cracking it a little and looking down, “what?”

“Will you please look at me? Listen, the Daisy thing was-”

“I don’t wanna talk about that and I don’t wanna talk to you. Now, please leave me alone.”

“Look at me.”

“Ransom-”

“Why won’t you look at me?”

“Cause I don’t wanna see you, obviously.”

“Now you’re lying to me.”

“Stop it. Just go-”

“What don’t you want me to know? Does this have to do with why you kicked Jack out?”

“Ransom-”

“Look at me, sweetheart,” he demands but much softer now.

You say nothing as your eyes start to well up and you keep your gaze on your feet. You feel his finger on your chin and you turn away.

“Please,” you cry.

“Look at me, sweetheart. Please, look at me.”

You slowly look up and his eyes go from genuine concern to pure rage.

“Jack did this?” he asks, trying to keep an even tone, but his fists are clenched.

“He was mad that I didn’t come home that night, the one before we went to dinner at Fish...he was all fucked up when I got home and we got into an argument. Things were said, he got even more pissed off, then he slapped me. I slapped him back...we ended up fighting on the kitchen floor. Ransom, the only people who know are him, my parents, Daisy, and now you. Please don’t-”

“How bad was it?” “Ransom-”

“Sweetheart.”

“My lips were swollen, a broken rib, a few stitches-”

“A broken rib?! Did he fucking kick you?!”

“Ransom, please don’t-” “I’ll fucking kill him, I swear to God!”

“Ransom, stop it. I’m fine-”

“I know you don’t believe it, but you are mine. He doesn’t get to...I’m gonna snap his fucking neck!”

“Ransom please!”

“Are you okay? What can I do?”

“You don’t have to do anything, baby.”

God, that didn’t take long, did it?

“I’m gonna take care of that fucker-”

“Ransom please. I don’t need this getting out-”

“It won’t get out, but he doesn’t get to act like-”

“Please let it go.”

“No.”

With that, he was storming off towards his Beamer, slamming his door shut before speeding off.

Well, at least he didn’t run in the other direction when he saw you.

He’s so fucking hot headed though. You’ve heard about his temper, but you’ve never experienced it first hand. Yeah, it warms your heart that he’s so protective over you, but you don’t want him getting into trouble over you.

Especially when you aren’t even sure what the hell is going on between you two.

You don’t even have an appetite anymore. Instead, you make yourself a bag of popcorn and decide that a night of TV is whats best. Yeah, your phone is upstairs, but you’re spent. Horror films and popcorn will you set you straight for the night.

For the time being, you just want to forget.

**

“You like the party I threw for you, sweetheart?” Ransom grunted as he fucked into you hard from behind.

“F-for....for me?” you moaned, trying to think on anything other than the fact your body ached with pleasure.

Ransom had decided to throw a masquerade party and insisted that you come. He threw it together last minute, so you barely had a chance to get something together, but luckily the town Halloween shop had a few antique masks left.

It was very ‘Phantom of the Opera’ of him.

When you got there, Jack was already all over some brunette and you rolled your eyes, but you promised him you stay and make sure to say hi to him. In your defense, he was telling you all of this while he fucked you into your fourth orgasm while you two were in the shower.

You would’ve promised him anything.

When you finally spotted him in his study with a few of his friends, you smiled and gave him a small wave. You turned, ready to make your way to the kitchen, when you felt an arm around your waist.

“What the-”

The lips that cut you off instantly told you who it was. You were ready to push him until you remembered that you didn’t have to. Everyone was in masks, so it’s not like anyone would know it was you he was kissing. You barely ever left the house, no one would ever believe that you’re cheating on Jack, and it was a party at Ransom’s.

Everyone was probably already too fucked up.

“You came,” he breathed, once you broke apart.

“You asked me to,” you rasped, your mind in a haze from his surprisingly passionate kiss.

“Get yourself a drink and make your way up to my room.”

“What if someone’s in there?”

“No one here is dumb enough to do that,” he smirked as he went to walk away. “Keep your mask on,” he added before disappearing into the crowd.

At the time, you didn’t think anything of it. It was Ransom after all.

You made yourself a strong drink and made your way upstairs, ignoring all the sounds coming from the spare rooms. You were only a few sips in when Ransom burst into the room, closing his door and locking it.

“You look amazing, sweetheart,” Ransom complimented as he made his way over to you. In no time at all, he had your dress torn and off the floor. “Now, you look even better,” he laughed with that devilish grin of his.

From that moment on, the words you two were saying was ‘fuck me harder’, ‘you daddy’s fat cock so well,’ ‘please me cum, and things of those articulate nature.

So what the hell was talking about this being your party?

“Remember baby? That movie we watched the other night?” he husked, but you could hear the grin in his voice.

Movie? You two never watch any...oh. OH!

“Daddy-” “Got so fucking wet and excited for me watching that woman get fucked in front of everyone,” he cooed and you clenched around him at just the memory. “See? You loved it. So, daddy threw you this party so we could re-enact it.”

“C-can’t, daddy! So many people!”

“I’ll take care of that, Sweet Thing. That’s why daddy told you to keep the mask on. You’re my filthy little thing, and I don’t want anyone else knowing about it,” he growled before he pulled out, causing you to whine in dissatisfaction. “Go stand in front of that window, baby. Can’t fucking wait to fuck you like the nasty little thing you are.”

The logical part of your brain was screaming ‘FUCK NO! TOO FAR!’, but the blissed out part had you standing in front of that sliding glass door almost instantly. The fact that your husband was there and would more than likely recognize you didn’t seem to phase you at all. Ransom was the one who gave you everything you wanted, so Ransom was the one who got your loyalty at the end of the day.

No matter how fucked up or stupid that may have been.

“Look all the people who came to your party, pretty girl,” Ransom groaned as he easily slid cock back inside of you.

“Fuck!” you cried out, gripping the curtains tight as you tried to hold on.

You already knew you were gonna be sore in the morning.

“You know daddy would do anything to make you happy, right Sweet Thing? I’ll always take care of you...I’ll give you anything you want!”

“Daddy...I...”

“Gettin fucked so good you can’t even think huh?” he chuckled. “It’s about to get so much better, Sweet Thing.”

In one swift move, Ransom’s arm was around your waist and pulling you close, as his other hand undid the latch on the sliding glass door and he pulled it open.

Fuck.

“How’s everyone enjoying the party?!” he called as he walked you two out onto the balcony.

He was only met with cheers and cat calls, but you couldn’t feel any shame or embarrassment. Yes, it was wrong on so many levels, but the pleasure was just too much for you to focus on that at the moment. In that moment, you were living out one of your dirtiest fantasies with the man who worshiped your body and fucked you like you were the most important person in his world.

Guilt and shame be dammed.

Ransom bent you over and gripped the railing tight. You knew he was doing it to make sure you felt more comfortable, because that man had fucked you in so many positions, you knew him fucking you standing wouldn’t be a problem. With you bent over, your hair is covering your face, and even with a mask on, it makes it all that much harder to figure out just who the fuck you are. The gesture, though small and during a heinous act, was enough to tug on your heartstrings just a bit.

“Who’s that sweet little thing and when’s my turn?!” one of his friends called from below.

“I’m afraid she’s all mine,” Ransom laughed. “She’s such a good little slut, I’m too jealous to share. Isn’t that right, baby?”

All you can focus on doing is nodding, because your orgasm is building.

“I need to get me one!” Jack called and you mentally rolled your eyes.

Fucking idiot.

“Too fucked out again, baby?” Ransom coos in the condescending tone that always makes you whimper. “Be a good girl for daddy and I’ll take you back inside. The way this little snatch is clenching me...c’mon, cum for daddy!”

You cried out as your legs almost gave out and you squirted hard, Ransom’s grip on your waist getting tighter as he fucked you through your high and filled you with his own release.

“Atta boy!” Jack called, and if you weren’t so fucked out, you would have laughed.

“I think she agrees,” Ransom responded with a breathy laughed and a smirk to your face.

What a fucking asshole.

“Wanna go back inside and play some more, baby?”

You just nodded.

“Alright, my girl wants to go again, so I’ll see you fucks later!” he called and he was met a crowd of ‘boo’s. “I know, she puts on a hell of a show, doesn’t she?” he laughed as he pulled out.

In almost a blink of an eye, Ransom was lifting you upright, spinning you around, and carrying you back into his bedroom.

“You okay, sweetheart? Was it too much?” he asked as he closed the door and locked it.

Your response was to wrap your arms around him and kiss him like you hadn’t seen him in years.

“I guess not,” he laughed as when you two broke apart.

You both kept each other up for hours that night, and Ransom was so fucking gentle with you after all was said and done. It was almost like he was a completely different person.

“I meant what I said before,” he told you softly as you drifted off to sleep; your head on his chest as he gently stroked your arm.

“Hmm?” you questioned even though you were barely awake.

“I’d do anything to make you happy. I’ll always take care of you.”

“Why can’t you ever answer your damn phone?!” Daisy yells, waking you up from one of your favorite memories, as she runs into the house.

“It’s upstairs,” you answer with a yawn, stretching yourself as much as you can without hurting yourself.

“You should’ve come out tonight!”

“Dais, I am still missing a fucking rib. I don’t feel like going out.”

“You never felt like going out before you were missing a rib,” she scowls as she takes a seat next to you on the couch, “guess who made an appearance tonight!”

“I don’t know, Big Bird?”

“Have you had a drink? You’re more fun when you drink,” she bites, getting up and making her way into the kitchen.

“Daisy!”

“Just have a fucking drink!”

“It’s 1am and I’m on pain meds-”

“The last time you took them was at 7:30. You forget that I stay here, you can have a fucking drink, Y/N.”

“Am I really that terrible?”

“If you’re not crying, you’re yelling. While understandable, you need to feel other emotions besides misery and anger,” she mutters as she makes her way back into the living area with a whiskey neat.

“I’m just-”

“I know, babe. I really do, but you didn’t do this. He did. You wouldn’t have ever slept with Ransom if he would have been as loyal to you as he said he would have. Yeah, I’m not happy that you ended up staying, but you did try and leave. I really can’t stand your fucking parents,” she scowls. “Anyway, guess what happened at the club tonight!”

“You’re way too excited, so...sex?” “Not tonight, I came home early just for you!”

“1am is early?”

“Y/N!”

“Oh my God, what happened?!”

“Ransom beat the shit out of Jack!”

“WHAT?!” you yell, wincing in pain at the force behind it.

“He stormed into the club, in a full fucking rage, sought out Jack, and just started fucking laying into him!” “Fuck! I told him not to!” “I’m sorry, you knew that this was going to happen?!”

“He came by, mad that I wasn’t responding to his text and calls, and he saw me and got furious. I told him not to, but he was just so angry...”

“So, all of this is because Jack beat the shit out of you?”

“He said that I’m his and that Jack can’t do shit like this...God, he was so angry. I’ve heard about his temper, but I’ve never seen it up close.”

“Well...do you wanna see the fight?”

“You recorded it?!”

“Well, I tried FaceTiming you, but you didn’t answer,” she shrugs and you laugh softly. “C’mon, it’ll be fun! I enjoyed it!”

“Dais, I don’t want anyone getting hurt. Especially over me.”

“Babe, I love how genuine you are, but Jack is a piece of shit. He treats you like shit, he’s always making an ass out of himself and embarrassing you, he’s constantly cheating. Even tonight, he was making out with some woman at the bar, but he’s supposed to be trying to win your love back! Him getting his ass beat is what he deserves, I don’t feel bad at all.”

“I just want a fucking divorce!”

“Then get one!” “I can’t force him to sign the fucking papers, Dais. Did you forget the last time?”

“There has to be something...you filed a report, right?”

“No.”

“Y/N!”

“Please don’t, I just don’t wanna deal with the whispers, the stares, my mother...God, my fucking mother,” you scowl.

“Yeah, I’m still going to curse her out the next time I see her.”

“Daisy.”

“No, fuck her! ‘What did you do to provoke him?’ What the fuck is her problem?!”

“She’s a product of her environment. Her mother said the same thing to her the first time my father hit her.”

“You’re far too forgiving and understanding,” Daisy mumbles.

“I made peace with my issues with Jack a while ago. Whatever the hell is going on between Ransom and I...he didn’t need to do that.”

“He cares about you.”

“Dais-”

“You know I’m no great believer in love, but I’ve been telling you for years that his eyes are constantly on you, watching every little thing you do. He defended you that one time-”

“When did he ever defend me?”

“That time Jennie Taggs was making fun of you because your mother made a complete jackass out of herself at your sweet 16. She wouldn’t stop talking about it that following Monday, and Ransom casually asked her how much longer her father is gonna be in prison for money laundering.”

“I completely forgot about that!”

“In your defense, he said it then walked right out of the classroom. I think you had zoned out.”

“No, but I remember Jennie calling me a fucking bitch and you telling me what the hell happened. Okay fine, he watches me a lot and defended me that one time-”

“When have you ever seen him defend anyone? Really think about that question.”

“Dais-”

“He’s a piece of shit, but he’s a piece of shit whose always had a thing for you. He probably never asked you out because you would’ve been smart and said no.”

“That’s what he said,” you mutter before taking a sip of your drink.

“You talked to him about it?!”

“I told you he took me out to dinner-”

“But you didn’t say what was discussed.”

“He wants me to go away with him.”

“Do it.”

“Daisy!”

“What, Y/N? What is so wrong with letting him take you out and spoil you? And don’t you dare fucking say it’s because you’re married.”

“I am married!”

“Your husband beat the shit out of you, Y/N. It’s not exactly a healthy or functioning marriage.”

“Daisy, please-”

“Seeing if there’s something more doesn’t make you a bad person, hun. It would be one thing if Jack were actually good to you and trying to make things work, and you were out being a piece of shit. You have tried everything to try and make this marriage work, and hes gone out of his way to make sure it won’t, and then makes you feel like you’re crazy for not wanting to stay with him. I’m not saying you need to go on this trip and come back married, but for fucks sake, have some fucking fun! He clearly likes you, a lot, and you feel something for him. You don’t laugh like you used to anymore, you rarely leave the house, you’re miserable all the time, you cry constantly, and now this. Just go away with Ransom. You deserve a break.”

“I’ll think about it. I’m gonna go to bed though,” you sigh, finishing the rest of your drink before getting up.

“I have to go home for a few days-”

“Dais, you don’t have to keep staying here. I appreciate you looking out for me and taking care of me-”

“I don’t mind it. I know you’re still scared and you’re my best friend. I’d do anything for you. It’s no problem at all.”

“Daisy-”

“I mean it, Y/N. I don’t mind doing any of this, I love you. It’s not a burden, you’re not being a bother, and I’m happy to do it.”

“You are probably the most selfless person I know.”

“That’s fucking tragic,” she laughs. “Is there anything I can do, babe?”

“Nah, I’m just gonna turn on TV and try and go back to sleep.”

“Please watch a horror movie and pretend that you’re the killer and the person you’re chasing is Jack,” she begs.

“Don’t make me laugh!” you chuckle, feeling pain all over. “I love you,” you tell her softly before dipping down a little and kissing her forehead.

“I love you too, babe. Get some rest.”

The second you’re in your room, you slowly make your way over to your bed and slowly get it, grabbing your phone and contemplate checking in. If Daisy had called you, Ransom had definitely tried to get in touch with you. You settle under your blankets and decide (against your better judgement) to check your phone.

5 texts from Ransom, 6 missed calls from Ransom, 12 missed calls from Babygirl, 6 FaceTimes missed from Babygirl, 3 texts from Babygirl, 10 texts from Piece of Shit.

You completely disregard Jack’s texts (like always), and go right to Daisy’s texts, laughing a little when you see that she sent you the fight along with a text that reads

‘Just in case you change your mind ;)’

Next...Ransom.

Part Time Lover: I saw Daisy at the club tonight, so I know you’re gonna hear all about me beating the shit out of Jack. I know you said not to, but seeing you like that...sweetheart, I couldn’t let it go.

Part Time Lover: We’re back to you ignoring my calls? Great.

Part Time Lover: Babe, just answer the phone and talk to me.

Part Time Lover: Are we really back to this? You’re this mad that I rightfully beat that piece of shit’s ass?

Part Time Lover: I’ll leave it alone for now, but this isn’t done.

You sigh in frustration, because you know you need to leave it alone, but you can’t. After tonight and all hes done, you can’t leave Ransom alone. You’re calling Ransom before you give yourself a fair chance to talk yourself out of it.

The phone barely rings before he answers it.

“Decided to stop being mad at me?” he answers with a slight slur and you sigh.

“I was sleeping. Daisy woke me up when she got home and told me about...”

“You can’t really be mad at me.”

“Ransom, I begged you not to-”

“He put you in the hospital-” “Ransom-”

“I kicked him out, sweetheart. He’s back in with his parents and-”

“Ransom, what do you want from me?”

He’s thoughtful before he says, “ I want you and I to take a trip together.”

“Ransom-”

“It’s not the worst idea, sweetheart. Just say yes. This will give us a chance to really know each other. Well, a chance for you to get to know me.”

“Where would we even go?”

“Where do you wanna go?”

You’re think a bit before saying, “they turn the river green in Chicago soon for St. Patrick’s Day...I’ve always wanted to go and watch...we can go together.”

“Chicago? That’s where you wanna go?”

“Ransom.”

“Okay okay, we’ll go. However, St. Patrick’s is a little more than a month away-”

“I still need to heal, babe.”

“I want to see you before then.”

You sigh before admitting, “Dais just told me she needs to go back to her house for a few days...I guess it wouldn’t be so bad if you stayed here.”

“You don’t have to sound so fucking miserable about it.”

“I don’t know what it is that you want from me, and I’m trying...I am married at the end of the day, and this is wrong. All of this is so wrong on everyone’s end-”

“God, you’re so fucking pure it’s painful.”

“Ransom, stop it.”

“I’ll stay over, okay?”

“No, never mind. Maybe-”

“I don’t want you to be alone.”

“Why?”

“I like you a lot more than I should. I always have, like I told you. Seeing what you’ve had to put up with...I’d feel better if you weren’t alone.”

“Ransom-”

“Just say yes,” he begs softly, again.

Your heart is answering before your brain has a chance to register, “o..okay. Only a few days.”

“That’s more than good enough for me.”

“Don’t start.”

“What time should I come over?”

“Whenever you’ve slept off the alcohol.”

“Y/N.”

“I guess in the afternoon? I don’t know. It’s not like this is the best idea.”

“We’re not doing anything wrong.”

“It’s not like we’re doing anything right.”

“If you really want me to back off, I will.”

“I don’t know what I want, Ransom! That’s the problem!”

“Yes you do, you just don’t wanna say it.”

“Ransom-”

“Just sleep. We both need sleep. I’ll see you in a bit, okay?”

“Fine.”

“Don’t be fucking mad.”

“Goodnight, Ransom.”

“Night,” he mutters before hanging up.

It’s not lost on you that hes only told you he put Jack out because he wants you to come over, but what the fuck are you supposed to do? Your body starts hurting at the thought of leaving the house, so driving is so far out of your mind right now.

Also, what the fuck?!

You’re supposed to just go over because he beat up your husband (which begged him not to do)? It’s a love letter you never fucking asked for and you, quite honestly, don’t need. If anything, it makes everything more complicated and annoying, because you know for a fact that he’s gonna tell his parents what happened and they’ll talk to your parents. The whole thing is a fucking nightmare and you wish you hadn’t told Ransom to come over or that you’ll go away with him.

Not enough to take it back though.

You and Ransom have been fucking around for a little over a year now, and he’s only now telling you that hes always had a thing for you. You don’t know if this is all just a mind fuck or not, but you know that when you’re with him, you’re happy. If anything, tonight shows you that he has to at least give a bit of a fuck about you. Yes, it’s always been sex, but with how much he’s trying to keep you to himself now...can he really be all that bad?

Letting out a frustrated groan, you settle under the covers and turn on the TV, deciding that ‘Empire Records’ is good enough background noise to drift off to.

As you slowly succumb to the darkness of unconsciousness, your mind can’t stop focusing on one person and all of the things he makes you feel.

Hugh Ransom Drysdale.

**

“No,” you groan as your phone goes off for what you’re assuming to be the hundredth time.

You heard it in your sleep, but had absolutely no desire to answer it.

You mindlessly grab your phone, eyes still closed, and answer, “hmm?”

“Since when do you sleep like the dead?” Ransom questions.

Your eyes shoot open.

“It was a long night. What’s up?”

“I’m here.”

“What? Why? It’s still early-”

“It’s 1:30, babe. Are you okay?”

“I’m just...just tired,” you yawn as you sit up, “I’ll be down in a minute.”

There’s no sense in trying to get yourself together, since he’s already seen you when you first wake up and as you are now. You toe on your slippers and make your way downstairs as quick as you can, stopping in the kitchen first to take your pills before making your way to the front door.

“You okay?”

“You can’t park there, Ransom,” you mumble, seeing his car parked on the cobblestone driveway. “He comes by sometimes and the last thing I need is for you two to have it out again. I’ll open the garage for you.”

“Sweetheart-”

“We’ll talk once you’re inside.”

You close the door and make your way to the basement, hitting the switch that slide the doors up and wait for him to pull in.

You can still tell him no. You’ve already kicked your husband out and he actually lives there, you can definitely change your mind and tell Ransom to go home. There’s no reason for him to stay, because there’s no way for Jack to get in unless he breaks in, but there’s a security system set in place (at Jack’s demand) so there’s nothing to worry about. You can easily tell Ransom never mind and to go home.

But you don’t want to.

You can chalk it up to you being lonely and vulnerable, but you know that Daisy made a good point. You’re not in some loving wonderful marriage and you deserve to at least see if there’s anything real between you and Ransom before you dive back into hell by trying to get another divorce.

“What’s going on with you?” Ransom asks, pulling you out of your thoughts as he gets out of his car, duffle bag in hand.

“It’s just been a rough couple of weeks. I’m mentally exhausted, my body hurts...I’m dealing with everything. Trying to figure everything out.”

“You don’t ever sleep this late.”

“Like I said, it’s been a rough couple of weeks,” you mutter, stepping aside to let him in.

He sighs as he makes his way in and follows your lead,“do you really not want me here?”

“I told you last night: I don’t know what I want.”

“I miss you, Y/N.”

“That’s why you fucked Daisy?”

“That and I was fucking mad at you.”

“You’re such an asshole.”

“At least I didn’t beat the shit out of you.” “I’m sorry, do you want to go home.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he mutters as he drops his duffle bag. “I really did miss you.”

“I missed you too, Ransom.”

“Not just fucking you, Y/N. I missed you. Seeing what he did to you...why you were so desperate for me to keep him at my house...I know you asked me not to but, I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop it.”

“I’m not yours to worry about, Ransom.”

“Yes you are.”

“Don’t. Don’t act like we’ve always been meant to be and I’m missing the point. You never said anything and now I’m supposed to just trust you?”

“Have I ever given you a reason not to?”

“YOU FUCKED DAISY!”

“Besides that!”

“Of course you’d say,” you laugh humorlessly, “I don’t even know you, Ransom.”

“Yet, you still want me here.”

“Cause I miss you, Ransom. I don’t know why, but I do.”

“Because I make you happy and I make you feel good.”

“That’s not enough for a relationship. It doesn’t help that I trust you less now than I did before.”

“We can work on that,” he promises softly as closes the small distance between the two of you. “If you want me to go-”

“I want...I want you to stay. I don’t want to be alone and I miss you.”

“He’s not gonna hurt you again, sweetheart.”

“I don’t wanna think about it right now. It’s always on my mind and-”

“Tell me what you wanna do.”

“I just wanna feel okay. For once, I want to be okay.”

“Let me help with that,” he mumbles before cupping your face and kissing you deeply.

It’s funny how quickly you forgot how soul stealing his kisses are.

“Ransom,” you breathe once you two break apart, “I can’t.”

“Why not?”

“My body still hurts.”

“I’m gonna fucking kill him,” he growls and you laugh softly.

“Let me show you around.”

He picks up his bag before following you up the steps, and without even facing him, you can tell that he’s staring directly at your ass.

Men.

Initially, you told yourself that Ransom would sleep in one of the guest rooms, but now that he’s here (and has kissed the hell out of you), you make the dangerous decision to let him sleep in the same bed as you. The moment you open the bedroom door, he throws his bag down and gently pushes you against the wall.

Yeah, the guest room isn’t gonna work for you.

“Ransom, I just told you that I can’t,” you moan, barely making an attempt to push him off of you as he kisses down your body.

“We don’t have to do that, but there are other things we can do. Other things things that’ll make you feel better,” he husks, getting on his knees and lifting up the shirt you’re wearing. “When’s the last time you had an orgasm, sweetheart?”

“The last time I saw you,” you whimper, gripping his hair. “Ransom...oh fuck!” you mewl as he licks your clit. “You don’t have to-” “I want to. God, you don’t know how fucking bad I’ve missed this pretty little cunt, baby,” he growls before diving in.

As you lean against the wall while Ransom eats you out (like he hasn’t touched a woman in years), you think about what any of this means. What you want it to mean. Ransom has started to mean more to you than you ever thought he would, but what the fuck are you supposed to do with that? What the fuck are you supposed to do with him?

One thing is certain: Hugh Ransom Drysdale is now a major part of your life.

**

“Where you going?” Jack asks again as you pack your bags.

“On a business trip,” you lie with a frustrated scowl.

In the time its taken for you to convince yourself that a trip with Ransom is the right choice, a lot has happened. In all honesty, you know that you shouldn’t go with him, but you’re addicted him at this point. Since he stayed over for those few days, Ransom really has tried his best to show you that he means every thing he says and will go to every length to show you that.

“What do you even do again?”

“Jack, we’ve been together for over four years, you should know this already.”

“I know, I’m sorry, I’m just-”

“Marketing design, I’m in control of marketing design.”

“Since when do you start taking trips?”

“There was an offer and I-”

“We’re trying to work on-”

“No, you’re trying to work on this marriage, I’m just existing at this point. I told you I want a divorce and you refuse to just sign the papers.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry-”

“Sending your Mommy to talk me because I wouldn’t talk to you? Real fucking great-”

“I didn’t send her-”

“You didn’t fucking tell her to stay out of it either!”

In the middle of day two of Ransom staying with you, Jack’s mom showed up to plead her son’s case.

“Just be quiet and stay here,” you giggled, trying to get out of Ransom’s hold.

“Ignore her.”

“She’s my mother-in-law. I can’t just ignore her.”

“It’s your house, you can do whatever you want.”

“Ransom-” “You have work to do anyway.”

“You’re a selfish man.”

“Yes, I truly am, so just stay here with me,” he begged as he kissed your shoulder.

“Ransom.”

“It’s annoying. Being with someone who doesn’t do exactly what you say is pretty fucking annoying.”

“Go cry to Jack about it.”

“Can you fuck yet?”

“Ransom!”

“Fine, go and spend time with the wicked bitch. I’ll stay here,” he scowled.

“Give me a kiss.”

“Why should I?”

“Because you like me so much,” you smirked and he scoffed.

“Spoiled little shit,” he smiled before cupping your face and kissing you deeply. “Hurry back,” he husked after you two broke apart.

What the hell did you get yourself into?

You were reluctant to get up, but nonetheless got up and pulled on a pair of sweatpants and made your way. You took a deep breath and mentally prepared yourself before opening the door.

“Oh sweetheart,” Jack’s Mother sighed the second you opened the door.

“Why don’t you come inside?” you offered, stepping aside and letting her in before softly closing the door behind her.

You knew it was going to be a shit show, but God did you underestimate how much. You poured the both of you a drink before you joined her at the kitchen table; you sitting across from her. You set the bottle of whiskey in the middle and just smiled at her.

You’re both quiet for at least five minutes before she said, “he’s so incredibly sorry.”

“Tell that to my broken rib.”

“He was out of control. He said he’s gonna get help-”

“Margret, I know you’re his mother, but you know it’s bullshit.”

“He wants to change-”

“And how many times did David tell you the same thing?”

“Y/N.”

“I’m not trying to be a bitch, but you can see me, can’t you? You see what I look like? You know that I’ve barely left the house in the house in two weeks? I’ve been working from home-”

“Quitting would help solve-”

“Why should I give up my career? I went to college and worked my ass off for a reason. I should quit because your son is sensitive? I quit and then what? I wait around for him to come back home from cheating on me?”

“He said that he’s never-”

“You don’t believe that. I know you don’t believe it.”

“Level with me here, Y/N,” she sighed. “You know how these things go-”

“I’m not a fucking business transaction, Margret. The person he sold me on and the person he is now are two different fucking people. I don’t love him anymore-”

“It won’t always be-”

“He beat me up, Margret! I don’t want to wait for him to be the person he promised me he’d be on our wedding day!”

“You think you’re special? You think every woman in this county wasn’t promised the perfect life? You don’t think we’ve all had our fair share of bruises? Your Mother? This is what comes with the life-”

“No, it comes with your life because you allow it. I don’t want this for myself!”

“Why can’t you just let it go? He’s sorry! Clearly, Ransom is taking care of you-”

“What does that mean?”

“Jack told me that he got into a fight with Ransom before he kicked him out. I can’t help but think-”

“Well try to,” you snapped before you grabbed your glass and finished off your drink. “Ransom and Jack have their own relationship. I haven’t spoken to Jack since that night, so I don’t know what the hell happened.”

“Everyone knows that boy has a thing for you, don’t act like-”

“Hes never said two words to me. Even at the wedding, where he was Jack’s best man, he didn’t say a thing to me. So, whatever the hell is going on between them has nothing to do with me.”

“I’m not going to tell him, honey. Everyone has their fun on the side-”

“Do you not hear how fucked up all of this sounds? I don’t want any part of this!”

“It’s all apart of the game, honey. They commit their sins and we’re here for their repentance.”

“Maybe for you, but it’s not what I want for me.”

“Y/N-”

“I want a fucking divorce, Margret. He can have whatever he wants, I don’t care, I just want out. The cheating was one thing, but if he’s hellbent on turning out like his father, I want no part in any of this anymore. I don’t want to keep up the act.”

“You need to understand how easy you have it.”

“You need to understand that I don’t want to be married to your son anymore.”

“So, you’re willing to throw it all away?”

“There’s nothing to throw away in the first damn place.”

“I’ll reach out to you soon,” she huffed before finishing her drink and getting up. “I know you two can work this out.”

With that, she walked out (slamming the door shut), and you were left to your own devices. As you poured yourself another drink, you heard her rev her engine before she peeled out of your driveway.

You threw her glass into the recycle bin before grabbing another for Ransom, filling it then your own, before you closed the bottle and made your way back upstairs.

“That didn’t sound pleasant at all,” he scoffed once you were back in the bedroom, putting down your glass and the bottle on your nightstand.

“How bad do you wanna fuck me?” you asked, handing him his drink before you got on the bed and straddled him.

“Real fucking bad, but I don’t want to-”

“I don’t give a fuck that it hurts, Ransom. I want you to fuck me like you want to. Fuck me like I’m your little play toy.”

“Sweetheart-”

“Do you want me?”

“Just because I want you doesn’t mean I want to hurt you.”

“I want it, Ransom. I want you,” you moaned as you grind yourself against him.

“What happened, sweetheart?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it. I just want you.”

“Then have me.”

While doing his best to be gentle that afternoon, he took his time pulling you apart over and over again. Yes, it was painful, but the pleasure was so strong that you didn’t give a fuck. He was so gentle with you after and it only made your heart desire him that much more. He really had no reason to try and lie, but he truly wanted to show you that he was all in.

He wanted you to understand just how much he cared.

The next morning, he made you breakfast in bed, which resulted in more sex.

Then your parents came over.

“You don’t have to answer them, babe. It’s your house,” Ransom sighed as you got dressed.

“You think they’ll just go away? If I don’t answer, they’ll just call. They’ll call until I answer and then, they’ll demand that I let them in.”

“Y/N, you don’t have to do what everyone-”

“Don’t Ransom. Just don’t. You and I aren’t the same and you wouldn’t understand.”

“Do you want to talk to them?”

“It’s pretty obvious that I don’t.”

“Then don’t fucking do it. You’re far too kind to people that don’t deserve it.”

“Well, if I lived by that motto, you wouldn’t be in my bed, would you?”

“That’s not fair.”

“I have to talk to them,” you chuckled before grabbing one of his cigarettes and his lighter, “I’ll try to not keep you waiting too long.”

“You better not. Give me a kiss.”

“Spoiled little shit,” you giggled before you dipped down to kiss him.

You pulled on one of the many sweaters he sent you home in before you made your way downstairs and getting ready for one of the dumbest talks you’d ever have.

“You can’t keep this up, Y/N,” your Mother sighed once you opened the door; your Father just staring at his feet.

“Keep what up?” you asked, placing the cigarette between your lips and lighting it.

“When did you start smoking?”

“A year ago. Come inside, we’ll go to the back deck.”

“It’s not good for you,” your Mother snapped as she gently pushed her way past you, your Father following her but still not looking at you.

“Not many things are these days,” you shrugged as you led them to the backyard, “why are you here?”

“We spoke to Margret-”

“Oh did you now?”

“Y/N, we know that Daisy’s been staying here. Keep it up and people are going to think that you’ve started some sort of relationship with her.”

“I should be so lucky. She’s gorgeous.”

“That’s not funny!”

“Who says I was joking? Did you hear me laugh?”

“You want the people in this county to think-”

“Honestly, who give a fuck? Who gives a fuck what anyone thinks?”

“I don’t care for your choice of language!” your Mother snapped.

“I don’t give a fuck what you care for,” you snapped as you all sat down in the extravagant sitting area that adorned the backyard patio. “You’re at my house about to ask me for the worst thing a parent-”

“Y/N, please. I know...They’re things that are expected-” your father started.

“You’re gonna ask me to take him back, but you still can’t look at me?” you interrupted him before you settled back into your chair and took a drag from your cigarette.

“Sweet Pea-”

“If you’re gonna speak to me, fucking look at me,” you snapped at your Father. “What? Am I that ugly, or do I remind you too much of how Mom looked after you would discipline her?”

“Y/N!” your Mother snapped.

“I know what we’re asking for...what we’ve been asking for isn’t fair,” your Father sighed be he lit his own cigarette, “but you’ve already married the boy. We’re not asking you to faithful, you and Ransom-”

“WHY DOES EVERYONE KEEP BRINGING UP RANSOM?!”

“You haven’t seen Jack, but we have and Ransom didn’t give an explanation as to why he fought him-”

“So, it’s automatically got to be because of me? I’ve just gotta be fucking him for him to be mad at Jack?”

“Don’t make me out to be a fool, Y/N. I know we’ve made your life miserable, but-”

“Exactly. You’ve already asked too fucking much of me and I’m tired. I am so damn tired.”

“Just take the boy back-”

“I don’t want to! I just want a divorce and to be left the hell alone!”

“You won’t get any peace for at least two years, Y/N,” your Mother sighed, leaning back into her chair. “The family name-”

“The family name, the family name, THE FAMILY FUCKING NAME!” you screamed and she rolled her eyes.

“No one knows what happened, no one knows that you kicked him out, and no one know that he...”

“That he fucking beat me? He fucking beat me, Mom. He pinned me down and beat the shit out of me. That’s what fucking happened. That’s what you’re asking me to go back to.”

“Y/N, the family name doesn’t need to wrapped in another scandal,” she sobbed.

“I just want a fucking divorce!”

“It will be everywhere! Your Father is about to retire and he’s had an amazing career! Your divorce from Jack-”

“Do you hear how selfish you sound?!”

“Yes, and I’m sorry, but this isn’t about just you. You may have Jack’s last name, but you carry the family name-”

“How much longer do I have to put up with this?”

“Y/N, just take the money and have fun,” your Father sighed. “Linda Drysdale is still married to Richard, isn’t she? He cheated, she gave him a black eye, and they’re fine now!”

“So, that’s supposed to be my life now?”

“It could be a lot worse,” your Mother sniffed as you ashed your cigarette.

“Do you two even love each other?”

“Love is a complicated thing, sweetheart,” she muttered, looking away from you and turning her attention to your garden. “Your roses look like they’ll come in nice this year.”

“They’ll be the only thing,” you practically whispered as you looked up to your bedroom window, knowing the window is open and Ransom heard everything.

Fuck.

“So, you’re just gonna take him back? Because your parents asked nicely?” Ransom asked as soon as you got back into the bedroom.

“Please don’t-”

“Baby-”

“It’s what’s expected of me, Ransom. What do you want me to do?”

“Whatever the fuck makes you happy!”

“I’m not you! I can’t just-”

“You can do whatever the fuck makes you happy! You can do whatever the fuck you want!”

“Why does it matter so much to you?!”

“BECAUSE WE SHOULD BE TOGETHER!”

“THEN MAYBE YOU SHOULD’VE SAID SOMETHING AT THE WEDDING YOU WERE ALL TOO HAPPY TO BE APART OF!” you yelled, instantly regretting it once you feel the pain in your ribs. “Goddammit!”

“Are you okay?” he questioned, making his way to your side almost instantly.

“Jesus, why do you have to go and prove them all wrong?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Why are you so fucking sweet and kind to me?”

“I already told you,” he smirked as he helped you over to the bed, “I like you a lot more than I should.”

It’s not lost on you that Ransom is someone you shouldn’t trust, but he just makes you so damn happy, to the point that he makes you feel like this is something you should try. Do you love the man? No the fuck you don’t. Do you like him more than you should?

Obviously.

Jack lets out a frustrated sigh as he runs his hand through his hair, “I can go with you.”

“That would imply that I want you to come at all.”

“I want to fix this.”

“There’s nothing to fix, Jack. I don’t want you or this marriage anymore, and you won’t give me what I want-”

“If my parents can make it work, so can we!”

“Does no one fucking listen to me when I talk? I DON’T WANT TO BE MARRIED TO YOU ANYMORE! I DON’T LOVE YOU ANYMORE!”

“In time-”

“I’ve gotta go or I’ll miss my flight,” you interrupt, grabbing your suitcase and starting out of the room.

“Y/N, is there someone else?”

“What would it matter if there was?”

“We can’t work this out if you’re with-”

“I’m gonna stop you there,” you laugh, “I’ll see you in a week. Try not to burn down the fucking house during one of your drug fueled binges, and whatever girls you bring back, make sure they take all their clothes with them when they leave.”

“You weren’t always this fucking cruel.”

“And you weren’t always a pile of shit. Well, maybe you were, I was just to naive to see it.”

“Y/N-” “Bye.”

You practically speed to the airport, and you know there’s no need to, but you just need to get the fuck out of Massachusetts for a while. That, and you’re anxious to see Ransom. You don’t like the way you two left things and you want to smooth things over.

You also want to figure out what the hell you’re doing.

“I already heard it from Daisy, I don’t need to hear it from you too,” you sighed as Ransom made his way back into the bedroom from the connecting bathroom.

“So, that’s it? You’re just gonna go back to him?”

“Ransom, please!”

“You have a fucking choice!”

“You? Leave him and be with you?”

“You say it like it’s a bad thing!”

“I don’t fucking know you well enough-”

“Whose fucking fault is that?! We’ve been in the same house for four days! I keep telling you that I’m an open book to you and you refuse-”

“I’m married, Ransom!”

“You’re marriage is pretty fucking shit, and you keep hiding behind that for what? To make Mommy and Daddy happy?”

“Oh, fuck off!”

“Stop doing what they want you to!”

“Be like you and don’t give a fuck about anyone’s feelings?”

“I give a fuck about yours for whatever reason!”

“No one ever fucking told you to!”

“So this is done?”

“What even is this?!”

“You tell me!”

“Ransom, I swear to God!”

“You don’t even want to be with him, Y/N! You don’t want him like you want me, you don’t crave him like you crave me, and you damn sure don’t care for him like you care for me.”

“Stop it!”

“What? You’re gonna play house with him and keep fucking me on the side? Gonna keep wanting me, but not actually committing to me?!”

“You don’t even want to commit to anyone! Look at that fucking ring on your pinky!”

“Fuck this ring!” he yelled, taking it off and throwing it across the room. “I want to commit to you!”

“Stop it, Ransom. Just fucking stop it! I’m not some fucking toy-” “Then stop fucking playing around!” he shouted.

“You need to go,” you sniffled as you dried your eyes. “I have to call Jack and tell him-”

“That you’ll continue to fucking pretend. Yeah, fucking got it.”

“Ransom-” “Fuck you. Fuck all of this. I’m done,” he spat before storming out.

The first real fight you two ever had, and it was all because you couldn’t find the courage to stand up for yourself. Yes, he was right, but what the fuck are you supposed to do? Since you were born, your family has drilled it into your head that it’s up to you to make the family look good. You’re the only child your parents had, so you have to be perfect. Always be polite, stay on top of your grades, get into the best schools, be the best at sports, be the best debater....you have to be perfect. With Jack, you genuinely thought you got lucky because he acted like he actually wanted to be with you. He made you believe that your marriage would be what you’d always wanted.

With Ransom...it’s been complicated since he kissed you. Hes never shied away from the fact that he’s an asshole. Maybe that’s why you should trust him. No, none of this is ideal, but at least hes always been up front with you (as far as you know). Yeah, he fucked Daisy, but he didn’t lie about it and he told you that he knew he was wrong. He beat up your husband because he beat you up, and then was so fucking gentle with you; both physically and emotionally. Ransom has his faults, but it’s not lost on you that his feelings for you are genuine.

Which is probably why he text you a week after your argument.

Part Time Lover: March 12th to the 20th , we’ll be in Chicago. I booked us a suite at the Eurostars Magnificent Mile. I’ll see you there.

Y/N: How much do I owe you?

Part Time Lover: It’s on me.

Y/N: You don’t have to pay for this whole thing.

Part Time Lover: It was my idea for us to go away together, I should be the one to pay for it.

Y/N: I hurt you, it’s the least I can do.

Part Time Lover: I’m tougher than you think.

Y/N: I’m sorry, Ransom.

Part Time Lover: I’ll see you in Chicago.

And you haven’t spoken to him since. What are you even supposed to say?

‘Sorry for not being strong enough to leave my husband and jump into bed with you more often’?

You have no reason to commit to Ransom, but you want one so fucking bad. Being with Ransom makes you feel like you can finally breathe, and being without him feels like hell. You don’t exactly know when Ransom started meaning so much to you, but now he seems to be all that you think about.

As you board the plane, you try to empty your mind. You try and empty your mind. You have no expectations, you just want to have fun and be someone else for a while.

You just want to be with Ransom.

**

“Ransom, what did you do?” you ask on the phone as you make your way to elevator.

“I want us to have a good time, so I made sure we would.”

“Ransom-”

“Are you here?”

“I’m in the elevator now.”

“Good, get your ass up here.”

“Ransom-”

“Top floor, the nicest suite, get up here. I miss you.”

“I miss you too,” you sigh with a small smile as you watch the numbers on the elevator go up and up. “You didn’t have to do all of-”

“Yes I did. I wanted to. You deserve the best and I’m gonna give it to you.”

“I don’t deserve all of this, Ransom,” you mutter as the elevator reaches the top floor.

“You deserve all of this and more.”

“I’m on our floor. I’ll see you-”

“I see you. Get your ass over here now,” he demands, but you can hear the smile in his voice.

You hang up before practically running to the room where you see his head poking out.

“Lets not argue ever again,” he laughs once you reach the suite.

“I like that a lot.”

“I missed you, Y/N.”

“I missed you too, Ransom....I’m sorry that all of this is such a shit show.”

“How was your flight?” he asks, stepping aside to let you in.

“Ransom, we should really talk about...holy shit,” you gasp as you take a look around. “What did you...”

“I don’t want to think about everything that went wrong. I missed you and you missed me so, lets just enjoy this.”

“Babe...you didn’t have to...this is so much.”

“Do you like it?” he asks softly, wrapping his arms around you from behind.

“I love it.”

“Good,” he comments before kissing the shell of your ear. “Room service is on call 24/7, the river is right there,” he points to the window in the living area, “so we can watch them dye the river from here or we can go down there, I’ve found a million things for us to do-”

“Ransom, you didn’t have to do all of this.”

“Yes I did. You deserve everything and I want you to have it.”

“Ransom-”

“I’ll make us drinks, you look around,” he urges before letting go of you and making his way into the kitchen.

It’s like an apartment for the two of you. There’s a living area, a work space, the bathroom is gorgeous, the kitchen is unbelievable, and the bedroom is amazing. You park your suitcase by the doorway of the bedroom and make your way out onto the balcony and look over the city.

The fact that Ransom did all of this for you really has your mind blown.

“Do you like it?” Ransom asks as he comes outside, handing your drink and standing behind you.

“Ransom, this is amazing...I can’t believe you did all of this...”

“I did it for us.”

“Ransom-”

“It’s fine if you don’t wanna admit that there’s something between us, but I fucking know better, Y/N. You’re here, without much convincing, you’re happy, and you clearly don’t feel guilty about being here.”

“I just...”

“For now, just don’t think. Be here with me and be happy. I can make you so fucking happy if you’ll let me.” “You already make me happy, daddy,” you tell him seductively as turn around and face him.

“Yeah? I make my pretty girl happy?”

“Do you want me to show you just how happy you made me?” you ask, getting on your knees and undoing his pants.

“You don’t care that anyone can see you?”

“Do you care?”

“You know I’ll fuck you anywhere without hesitation.”

“Then you should let me show everyone just how happy you make me, daddy,” you moan, stroking him just a bit, “let me show you,” you beg before taking him into your mouth.

“Jesus sweetheart!” he grunts as he grips your hair. “Just can’t be a good girl anywhere I take you, huh? Fuck, suck it just like that, baby!” he moans, guiding you just a bit. “Bet you missed daddy’s cock so much, huh? Shit! Missed being so full?”

You moan in response as you pick up your pace, trying to hold off your own release.

“Shit, get up, baby! Let daddy make you feel good!” he grunts, gripping your hair tight as a way of getting you to stop.

“Wanna taste you!” you whimper, getting up only for Ransom to force you against the guard rail and push your dress up.

“We have more than enough time for that, sweetheart. Right now, daddy just wants to feel you,”  he demands as you groan, before he thrusts himself inside of you.

“FUCK!”

“Missed this tight little honeypot,” he broods as he fucks into you relentlessly.

“Oh my GOD! Please!”

“Feel good, baby? Missed daddy’s cock?”

“Oh my...yes, YES! Got off...Fuck Ransom!”

“Ya know, I think all of Chicago should see these tits too, don’t you?”

“Do whatever...oh fuck! I’m so close!” you moan as he rips the front on your dress. “Daddy!”

“You’re so fucking desperate for me, aren’t you?”

“Daddy...I need to...please!”

“Fucking say it!”

“I...I want...I want you all the time, Ransom! Jesus, I’m gonna fucking...please!”

“That desperate to cum, sweetheart?”

“I’ll do anything, just please let me cum!”

“My sweet little whore, make a a mess, baby!” he chuckles, playing with clit as he bites down on your shoulder.

“FUCK!” you scream, squirting hard and making a mess as he rides out your high.

“And to think, we’re just getting started,” he laughs, never missing a beat as he fucks into you like you just didn’t have a mind shattering orgasm.

Ransom keeps you on that balcony for at least an hour, before finally pulling you back into the bedroom; deciding that it would be kind to demolish you in private.

“Daddy, PLEASE!”

“Can’t take anymore, sweetheart?”

“Need to feel you! Mi...missed you so much!”

“Fuck! Give it to me! Give all of it”

“FUCK!” you scream out, squirting hard as you do your best to stay up right.

“Shit, sweetheart!” Ransom growls as he fills you to the brim, moaning as he pulls out and watches both of your releases spill out. “You’re amazing, baby.”

“You didn’t have to...you didn’t have to show me....,” you breathe, trying to form an actual thought as you collapse onto the bed.

No one will ever be able to make you as happy and full as he does.

“Are you happy?” he chuckles as he gets in next to you and pulls the cover over the both of you.

“Mhm” you mumble, resting your head on his chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. “We should go eat.”

“Rest for now, we’ll eat after.”

“You must be hungry,” you yawn, trying your best to stay awake.

“When you get up. Sleep.”

“Thank you, Ransom. For all of this.”

“I’d do anything for you, sweetheart,” he promises softly before pressing a soft kiss into your hair. “Anything.”

Ransom’s P.O.V

“Your mommy pick out your shoes for you, Drysdale?” Tommy asked as he approached me on the playground.

“Leave me alone.”

“Gonna cry again? Gonna have your grandpa talk to my parents?”

“Leave me alone!”

“Cause you’re parents don’t-”

“He said to leave him alone, Tommy!” you shouted, hands on your hips and a scowl on your face.

Is it sad that I can still remember what you wore that day?

Your hair was in pigtails, you had on your blue dress with white polka dots, you had on black church shoes, and a white stockings.

I’d had a crush on you since the first time I saw, but I thought you looked especially cute that day.

“Stay outta this, Y/N!”

“Leave him alone, Tommy! You’re a big mean jerk, and Ransom hasn’t done anything to you!”

“You like him so much, why don’t you marry him?”

“Leave him alone or I’ll tell Miss Hendricks on you!”

“Tattletale! Whatever, both of you are stupid anyway!”

And with that, Tommy Smotts stormed off.

“Are you okay?” you asked softly, coming over to me in the sandbox.

I did the only thing I could think of: run off.

In my defense, you’re the one who came out of nowhere and actually spoke to me. Sure, we stared at each other a bunch, but neither of us actually ever said a fucking word to each other.

Why did I wait so fucking long to act on anything with you? No, I don’t chase anyone, ever, but you...you’ve always been the one I’ve wanted. Since that day you defended me, I’ve never been able to get you out of my head. I guess I always thought I had time, because you never seemed to talk to anyone besides Daisy. I always caught you looking at me, I could always feel you staring at me, so I just assumed I had time. I wanted to have my fun before approaching you, because I wanted to get it right. I don’t know what fucking hold you had over me (and still do), but I’ve only ever wanted to do right by you.

Then he took you.

“You get every woman you want, leave some for the rest of us,” Jack scoffed as we stood in my parent’s backyard, attending their party out of nothing other than obligation.

“Not every woman,” I slurred, looking over in your direction.

Maybe it was my fault. I still hadn’t said a fucking word to you, and Jack had no clue that I felt anything towards you, because I never talked about it, but God. You looked so fucking good that night. You always wore the most modest clothes, but you made them look so damn good. You always make everything look so damn good.

“Y/N?,” Jack scoffed incredulously before he took another sip of his drink. “What the fuck is so special about her? Yeah, she’s cute, but she doesn’t actually say anything, she dresses like a fucking nun-”

“Exactly; she’s different,” I snapped defensively.

You were mine, mentally, and I wasn’t about to let him talk shit about you.

“Oh Drysdale, you’ve got it bad.”

“Got what?”

“You’re in love with her!”

“I don’t even know her,” I muttered, lighting my cigarette.

A bold fucking lie.

“Then why so pushy?”

“I’m not being pushy about anything, I just don’t see the need to talk shit when she’s the only good one out of the bunch.”

“I can get her,” he chuckled as he looked you over.

“Yeah, okay.”

“What?”

“You’re a piece of shit, Jack. She’s never gonna fall for you.”

“I can be quite charming when I need to be.”

“Yeah sure.”

“Ransom, I bet you $10,000 that I can get her to say yes to a date with me.”

“You’re on,” I smirked, shaking his hand before taking another drag from my cigarette.

I never thought you’d actually fall for his shit, because you’re so much smarter than that. However, I’ve gotta give it to Jack, he’s a suave piece of shit when he wants to be.

It was only supposed to be one date though.

I could take losing the fucking money, but actually losing you?

“What the fuck are you doing?!” I snapped, pulling Jack into your parents’ kitchen.

“What are you talking about?!”

“It was supposed to be one fucking date! It’s been two fucking months!”

“What can I say? I like the girl,” he shrugged with a smug smirk.

“Jack, I swear to God-”

“You said you don’t love her, so what’s the big deal?”

“Fuck you,” I spat before storming out.

Before I knew it, you were fucking married to him. It only took that little fuck three months to fucking cheat on you, but he played the part of a loving husband well enough, until he couldn’t anymore.

You start to stir and I realize my phone is going off.

“Sleep,” I urge softly, kissing the top of your head before gently getting out of bed.

Throwing on my boxer briefs and a sweater, I grab my phone and my pack of cigarettes before stepping out onto the balcony.

“What?”

“Don’t fucking ‘what’ me!” Jack snaps and I laugh.

“Sound a little unhinged there, buddy.”

“Fuck you, Ransom! Is she with you?!”

“She who?” I chuckle, lighting a smoke.

“Don’t fucking play with me, Ransom!”

“Are you referring to your darling little wife?”

“You know damn well that I am!”

“Now, why would I know of her whereabouts?” I question, looking at you through the sliding glass door.

You have got to be the most beautiful fucking woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on.

“This wasn’t part of our-”

“One, I don’t know where your wife is. Two, I’m not breaking anything that we agreed upon.”

“She’s mine, Ransom.”

“Maybe you don’t have the tight little hold on her that you thought you did.”

“We had an agreement!”

“No, we made a bet. Don’t get mad at me because you’re losing it. Maybe, if you didn’t fucking slap her around, you wouldn’t be so fucking worried!”

“That was one time and I feel awful-”

“Finding out that you turned into your parents does fucking suck, doesn’t it?”

“I’m nothing like my father!”

“Lets see: you cheat on your wife, you live off your wife, and you beat your wife. Sounds an awful lot like you turned out like your father.”

“Watch it, Drysdale,” he growls.

“Are you warning me?” I laugh. “I got away with one murder, so I’m not too fucking worried about you.”

“Back off!”

“Ahh, what’s the fun in that? The deadline is her birthday, isn’t it?”

“Ransom-”

“Fuck off, Jack. You wanna keep your wife? Fucking work for her then,” I bite before hanging up.

Yes, another bet was made in a vain attempt to get your love, but if I can make money and have you, why wouldn’t I? I’m going to tell you. I’m going to tell you everything, I just need to find the right time. After you get to know me a little more, which is tricky in its own way, I’ll explain everything.

I know no one would ever believe me, but I’d never fucking hurt you. I’ve never loved anyone, but I’m so fucking in love with you. I always have been. Hopefully, after this trip, you’re able to see that. I know I’ve fucked up and fucked around my whole life, but I just wanna get things right with you.

I just need you to give me a chance.

Y/N’s P.O.V

“Tell me something true,” you smile at Ransom as your second round of drinks arrive.

You ended up sleeping much longer than you intended to, and by the time you finally did wake up, it was time for dinner. Ransom was sweet, still making jokes at your expense, but told you that he had planned everything out. Which is why you’re now sitting at a five star restaurant, drinking more than you should and feeling happier than you ever have.

“You’re the best fuck I’ve ever had,” Ransom smirks and you burst out laughing.

“I’m serious! Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Well, there’s a lot,” he laughs with a shrug, “something you don’t know...I hate spiders and I hate centipedes.”

“Ransom Drysdale hates bugs?!”

“Don’t get so excited, I’ll stomp those fuckers out in a second,” he mutters and laugh again. “I know what you really wanna ask me though, so you may as well ask it.”

“Ransom-”

“I’m a big boy, I can take it.”

“Did you have something to do with Harlan’s death?”

“Technically? No. Fran? Yes. With Harlan, that just worked out in my favor. I could already tell that he was getting fed up with everyone, so I pretended to take an interest in Marta. He seemed to want her company and attention more than anyone else’s, so it didn’t take long for me to connect the dots. I wine and dined her, took her on a few trips, fucked her...I made her think I was in love. So, when Harlan and I had our little sit down and he told me he was leaving all of his money to her, I convinced her to split it with me. I told her everything he told me and was able to convince her that I had plans for a future together. Now, the medicine thing, that was just a stroke of pure luck. I don’t know who the hell switched the vials around, but Harlan ended up killing himself anyway. Marta got her money, as did I, and we both stayed out of jail. Fran? Well, she’d always been a nosey little cunt and she was pissing me off. Telling Marta to watch out for me and stay away...she had no reason to worry about what the fuck I was doing. So, I poisoned her,” he shrugs. “It’s not like it was all that hard. It’s amazing how easy it is to slip someone something when they think they’re safe in a room full of fucking vultures.”

“Ransom, that’s fucking awful.”

“You didn’t come on this trip thinking I was some boy scout,” he scoffs, taking a sip of his drink. “You’ve always heard about what a piece of shit I am.”

“I don’t believe everything I hear.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s not fair. Everyone has their own story, everyone goes through shit, and everyone has their reason for doing what they do.”

“Have you always been this innocent?”

“You mean this fucking stupid? Yes,” you chuckle before sipping on your drink.

“You’re not stupid.”

“Yeah, you can say that. I’m here with you-”

“I mean it, Y/N. All of us are jaded because we have shitty parents. All of us except you. You’re kinder than any of us really deserve, you’re thoughtful, you’re sympathetic, you’re caring...the list goes on. Being a good person doesn’t make you stupid, it just makes you too good for the people you surround yourself with.”

“Then why don’t you do it?”

“I’m jaded, remember?” he smirks and you chuckle. “So, why did you decide to keep things going with me?”

“Besides the sex?” you question with a cocked eyebrow and he laughs. “I don’t know, you just make me happy. Genuinely happy. You’re sweet, kind, gentle, caring...all the things you don’t want people to know about you, you are with me in private.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything in school?”

“I saw the girls you dated,” you chuckle, “I didn’t stand a chance.”

“You were the only one I wanted.”

“Then why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t stand a chance,” he smiles at you. “What are you doing for your birthday?”

“Whatever Daisy has planned,” you laugh.

“What about Jack?”

“Jack hasn’t planned anything for my birthday since the day I said, ‘I do’. Daisy takes over every year, because she knows he isn’t going to do a single fucking thing.”

“Why do you stay with him?”

“It’s what...it makes my mom’s life easier, so I do it.”

“But you’re unhappy?”

“So what? What does that mean to me? She raised me. My dad was MIA and she put up with a ton-”

“She’s your parent. It’s her fucking job to be your parent-”

“She didn’t have to stay, Ransom,” you sigh. “She stayed for me. It’s not like she wouldn’t have gotten any money if she would have left him, and she would’ve gotten a good chunk of it too. She stayed for me. All of the hell that she endured, all of the gossip, the abuse...she didn’t want to leave me alone and she was a firm believer that a child needs two parents, because that’s what her parents instilled in her. My father was never terrible to me, he was just awful to her. She didn’t see the point in leaving if he was good to me. Which is why I’m so damn nice now, but also why I vowed to never end up in a marriage like hers. What a fucking joke that turned out to be,” you mumble, downing the rest of your drink.

“She’d want you to be happy then.”

“You heard her that day, Ransom. By not having a failed marriage, I am making her happy.”

“Your marriage has failed.”

“Ransom-”

“You deserve to be happy, Y/N. You do so much for everyone else all the time, you deserve to live a good life.”

“How do I know that you’re not trying to fuck me over like you did Marta?”

“I don’t need your money.”

“You didn’t need hers.”

“What was hers was originally mine.”

“How am I supposed to believe you? It’s not like you’ve ever shown any desire to do something with your life.”

“That was then, this is now.”

“What’s so different now?”

“I have you.”

“Ransom-”

“Listen, if you tell me to, I’ll buy you a ticket right now and you can go home.”

“I think it’s pretty obvious that I don’t want that.”

“Why stay?”

“You don’t bullshit me. You’re not hiding the worst parts of yourself to make me believe some version of you that doesn’t actually exist. You could be just like Jack, but you choose not to be. That and you just make me really fucking happy,” you smile at him.

“Lets get out out of here.”

“We haven’t eaten!” you laugh.

“Who cares? W e can eat wherever, lets just get the fuck out of here.”

“Are you drunk?”

“That I am,” he laughs and you laugh along with him, “but I just want to be out with you. Until you get a divorce, we can’t be out like this, and I like being this open with you. I like having you to myself. Lets just explore the fucking city.”

“You really are something else,” you smile at him.

“Let me show you just how much,” he smirks.

Maybe it’s the alcohol, or maybe it’s because he’s so damn charismatic, but you find yourself following his lead.

It’s cold, but Ransom holds you close as you two walk around and take in the sights. You both take turns asking each other questions, engaging in conversations about politics and basic human rights (Ransom’s opinion falling on that he doesn’t care as long as it works out for him), eating at random stands (hot dog, pretzel, and a burger one), and somehow ending up at a Jazz club. The entire time, Ransom keeps surprising you with just how thoughtful and sweet he is, and it has you re-thinking everything. Maybe he is worth all the risk. He wants to be committed to you and he’s excited about it.

Just maybe you got it right this time.

“It’s late and we need sleep,” you giggle as Ransom carries you on his back.

“Do we really?”

“Ransom.”

“Alright, we’ll head back, but I have a full week planned for us.”

“Hugh Ransom Drysdale, what the hell did you do?”

“Just you wait and see.”

**

The week you spend with Ransom is the best week you’ve ever had. After talking him into actually going down to the river to watch them dye it, he took you out for lunch, and he was shamelessly sweet to you. He kissed you whenever he got a chance, held your hand, paid for everything (even though you told him multiple times that you can pay for yourself), he pulled you into the bathroom and fucked you senseless at every bar you two went to, and he made sure to make it known that you’re his and his alone.

The whole week felt like a dream. Every day was a new adventure and Ransom made sure to never disappoint.

“Lets extend our trip another week,” he suggests as he gets in bed next to you.

“Ha ha,” you mumble as you continue typing away on your laptop.

“Why can’t we?”

“We have lives to get back to...well, I have a life to get back to.”

“I know they’re things we have to do, but the world hasn’t set itself on fire yet. We can stay.”

“What could you possibly have to do?”

“Don’t be rude.”

“You don’t have a fucking job,” you laugh.

“I run the publishing company.”

“Uh huh, with Walt’s help.” “I pay Walt, don’t I?”

“Sure daddy,” you giggle as he closes your laptop.

“Tell me you don’t wanna stay longer,” he coos before kissing your shoulder.

“Of course I want to, but we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“Ransom,” you moan, feeling his hand making its way between your legs.

“Why can’t we stay?”

“We have...oh fuck,” you sigh as you lull your head back.

“I wanna stay with you for another week, baby.”

“Ransom...”

“Never been this happy,” he groans as he starts massaging your clit faster.

“Please...fuck!”

“Never felt so good.”

“Ransom...you know we have to go back.”

“Then stop working and let me show you how happy you’ve made me this week.”

“Baby-”

“Please, sweetheart.”

“Fuck!” you squeal, cumming hard as he massages your neck with his tongue. “Baby, please!”

“You want me, sweetheart?” he questions, starting to fuck you with his fingers

“I always want you, Ransom!”

“Why? Why do you keep me around? Hmm?”

“Don’t-”

“Say it, after all we’ve talked about this week...tell me,” he pleads.

“I...I love you, Ransom.”

“Say it again.”

“Fuck, I love you, Ransom! I love you so much”

“I love you too, sweetheart! I always have!”

“Shit!” you cry out as squirt hard on his fingers.

“You always make such a pretty mess for me, baby.”

“Ransom...”

“I wanna show you just how much I love you,” he moans as pulls out his fingers out, licking them before shoving them into your mouth. “Will you let me?”

You just is nod as you suck and lick his fingers clean.

Almost instantly, Ransom has you topless and on your back; kissing his way down your body as you beg him not to stop.  

“I’ve waited so long to hear you say it, baby,” he hums before licking your clit. “I’ve wanted you for so long.”

“I need you so much, baby,” you whimper as he starts fucking you with his tongue. “Only wanna be with you!”

You grip his hair tight as he picks up his pace and starts teasing your clit with his thumb, and you start grinding your pussy against his face.

“Ransom...oh fuck! Honey, I’m so fucking close!” you cry out, your toes curling as you try to hold on.

All he does is pick up his pace, which sends you into a earth shattering orgasm, screaming his name as you come apart.

“So desperate, baby. Desperate to be loved?” he smirks after cleaning up the mess you made.

“Just...just wanna be yours, Ransom.”

“I want you to be mine and mine alone,” he mumbles he licks and kisses his way back up your body.

“Please don’t...I’m not strong enough to get hurt again.”

“I don’t ever wanna hurt you, baby. Just wanna take care of you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” he husks, stopping to lick and suck on one of your nipples, while his one hand pinches and massages the other.

“Ah fuck!”

“When we get home,” he broods as he resumes kissing up your body, “you’re moving in with me and leaving that piece of shit.”

“Ransom-”

“You know you want to. You know you belong with me,” he encourages as he thrusts himself inside of you.

“Oh my GOD!”

“Feel so fucking good, baby!”

“Ransom we can’t...we have to...fuck! That’s the spot!” you whimper, hooking your right leg around his waist as you start to move with him. “Fuck, I need you so much!”

“Say you’ll come and live with me, baby! Don’t know how long...fuck! This fucking pussy!”

“I’m so close!”

“Say it, sweetheart! Say you’ll stay with me!”

“Ransom, I...I...ah shit! I can’t hold on!”

“Cunt always fucking squeezes me so tight!”

“Fuck!” you scream, digging your nails into his back as you squirt hard, your back arching just a bit as you fade into your euphoric state.

“Jesus fuck, Y/N!” Ransom growls into your neck right before biting down on it and gripping the sheets tight as his release fills you.

You both lay there for a moment, trying to catch your breaths as Ransom rides out both your highs, and you try to form a complete thought.

“I love you, Y/N,” Ransom breathes out. “I love you and you love me, just be with me.”

“You know it’s not that simple.”

“Why isn’t it? You don’t owe anyone shit.”

“Ransom-”

“Do you want to be with me?”

“You know I do!”

“Then just say yes, baby.”

“Ransom...I have to think about it.”

“What is there to think about?”

“Everything,” you laugh humorlessly. “We just started this and I’m still...I’m still working on trusting you.”

“Even after-”

“You said so yourself, we can’t be like this when we get back home. We’re away from everyone and everything on this trip, and while it’s absolutely perfect, it’s not reality. I can’t be dumb about this. Not again.”

“I’m not Jack.”

“You played with Marta’s heart for money and killed Fran. You’re not a fucking saint. Ransom.”

“That’s fair,” he laughs, “but I love you. I have loved you for so long and if you just give me a chance...I can show you. I can be the man you want. The man you can trust.”

“If we can keep on track like we are, which I know won’t be easy,-” you state before he has a chance to interrupt, “then I’ll happily move in and divorce Jack.”

“You’re annoying.”

“You can always go and find someone less annoying.”

“Where’s the fun in that?” he smirks and you burst out laughing. “If you say you need time, I’ll give you time. I am serious though, Y/N. I’ve never loved anyone besides you, and it’s never going to stop. I want to be with you forever.”

“I believe you, baby. I love you too. So fucking much,” you smile at him; wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him close for a passionate kiss, giggling when you feel him stir back to life.

“I think you’re done working for the day,” he breathes once you two break apart, starting to move within you again; that infamous smug smirk tugging at his lips.

“Ransom,” you moan with a small laugh.

“It’s our last full day here, lets end it with a bang,” he pouts as you start cracking up.

You and Ransom spend the rest of the day making love and ordering room service. The only time he lets you out of his arms when you have to go to the bathroom, and the second you get back, he’s back to holding you and putting on whatever movie you feel like watching.

As the day winds down, and you both begrudgingly get ready to leave tomorrow, your heart is full and hopeful. Yes, the week you’ve spent with him has been perfect and a complete dream, but you still have your reservations. It’s not like you don’t believe him, but once people get back around their comfort spaces, they tend to fall back into their old habits.

Good and bad.

“You’re thinking pretty fucking hard, sweetheart,” Ransom mumbles, causing you to jump.

“I thought you were sleeping,” you laugh softly.

“No one can sleep with how much noise is going on in your head.”

“How can you tell?”

“Your heart rate is slightly faster than usual, you breathe a lot easier when you’re asleep, and your index finger is making little circles on my hip; something you only do when you can’t sleep. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, go back to sleep.”

“Talk to me.”

“I just...I want this to work. I want to be with you and I want to trust you, but-”

“I’m not a fool, sweetheart. I know that I have a lifetime to make up for, and a lot to prove. You need time and I get that. For now, just be here with me. Live in the moment and worry about tomorrow when it gets here. I love you and you love me. We’ll figure this out, okay? Just rest of now.”

‘For now, just be here with me.’

If only it were that simple.

“I love you, Ransom.”

“I love you too, sweetheart. Just try and rest, okay?”

“I’ll do my best,” you tell him reassuringly

As you do your best to silence your thoughts, one thing keeps coming to mind:

How the hell do you determine if Ransom truly means everything he says, or if he has some ulterior motive?

How can you tell in Ransom’s love is true?

**

“Babe, where is your head at?” Daisy asks as you two get ready for whatever the hell she has planned for your birthday.

“Did you invite Ransom to whatever the hell it is you planned tonight?” you ask, smoothing your hands over your dress.

“Yes?”

“Fucking hell.”

“Okay, what the hell is going on? You’ve been in a weird head space since you two got back from your trip in March.”

“I just...he was so patient, but now it feels like he’s rushing me.”

“Rushing you to what?”

“Make a choice.”

“It’s only been a month and a half!?”

“That’s what I said.”

“To which he said...?”

“We’ve been arguing for the last two weeks,” you mutter, sitting down on her bed with a heavy sigh as you remember the last big argument you two had.

“What the fuck else do you want me to do?!” Ransom yelled, getting out of bed and pulling on his boxer briefs.

“Ransom, you told me you’d give me time!”

“Haven’t I?! How much more time-”

“It’s only been a month!”

“It took you a lot less time-”

“I’d advise you to think hard before you finish that fucking statement,” you warned.

“I don’t see why you can’t just trust me!”

“Because you’re right, Ransom!” you yelled at him as you sat up. “I mindlessly gave myself to Jack, and now look!”

“You know it’s not the same with me!”

“Ransom-”

“I haven’t fucked anyone besides you, I haven’t given my attention to anyone besides-”

“That’s not enough! A month isn’t long enough-”

“We would be able to explore this further if you’d fucking leave him!”

“I’m going home!” you yelled, getting out of his bed and looking for whatever piece of clothing he hadn’t torn off you when you got there. “Goddammit! I need a fucking-”

“If you’d just move in, you wouldn’t need to fucking-”

“Ransom, I swear to God!”

“You don’t love him, Y/N! At least, not anymore! You spend all of your free time here, you don’t even fuck him anymore, you can’t sleep when you’re away from me-”

“Ransom-”

“Just fucking be with me!”

“Why are you pushing this so much?!”

“Because I fucking love you!”

“Then you would be patient!”

“If you loved me, you would just trust me!”

“I’m not having this fucking argument with you again! Just give me some fucking clothes and let me-”

“If you leave this time, don’t fucking come back, Y/N. I’m not gonna keep doing this shit with you, cause you’re a fucking coward!”

“Then I guess this is done,” you shrugged.

“Y/N, I fucking mean it!”

“Me too. If you’re gonna fucking bully me, I guess this is the end of this!”

Ransom went two weeks without talking to you before texting you:

‘You know I didn’t mean it. Just fucking come home.’

Aka

“I’m sorry.”

You, in all your stubborn glory, refused to see him, which only resulted in another argument.

You’re too stubborn, he’s a jackass, you’re afraid of everything, he’s too much of a hot headed shit head to see when he’s wrong, you’re a bitch, he’s an complete asshole...

So on and so on.

You weren’t sure if he’d want anything to do with your birthday, because he’d been so...

“Is he coming?” you ask Daisy.

“He said he was.”

“For fucks sake!”

“What did I do wrong?!”

“It’s not you, it’s he and I. We’re having the world’s dumbest fucking fight and I don’t know...I miss him so much, but he’s such a fucking asshole sometimes. And I get it, okay? I do. I put him in a shitty spot, I’m still married and he’s trying to figure if I’m going to pick him or not, but I’m just fucking scared. Yes, Ransom has been up front with me about everything, but I trusted Jack so fast and now look.”

“Do you want my input?”

“No, but I know it would help.”

“Bitch,” she smirks, taking a seat next to you and you chuckle. “I believe that Ransom loves you. I’ve seen him out and he doesn’t even look at other women, the rumor mill says that he’s actually taken a hands on roll with the company, he’s made some pretty smart investments, and I can tell that he wouldn’t be so upset about this if he didn’t have real feelings for you. I know it’s scary, but just take the leap. It’s painfully obvious that you love him, and hes been in love with you...”

“I just don’t want to get-”

“Babe, if he fucks you over, I’ll chop his fucking balls off. Scouts honor.”

“You were never a scout?”

“But I really wanted to be,” she sighs and you burst out laughing. “Just be with him, the man is so in love with you...I think you’ll be happy. I actually believe that he’ll be good to you, which is insane because he’s a piece of shit, but he seems to want to change for you. Just tell him. Tell him you love him and you want to be with him.”

“You really think he’s worth it?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” she laughs softly as you lay your head on her shoulder.

“What if it all goes to shit?”

“Then we’ll figure it out together, just like we always have.”

“I feel like birthdays are supposed to be happier than this.”

“Especially when it’s your 30th ,” she giggles.

“If this is a shit show-”

“Oh, we’re totally going to Five Guys.”

“You know me so well,” you smile as she cracks up.

As you both finish up getting ready, you try to ignore the feeling in your stomach that tells you something is going to go wrong. All that matters is that you love Ransom and he loves you, because that’s more than enough....

Right?

**

Daisy surprised you with a party at your absolute favorite restaurant. The place is so damn expensive, so you only go on special occasions, and Daisy told you that another year of you existing is the most important thing that anyone could ever celebrate.

You started crying before you got your first drink.

Soon enough, the drinks were flowing, people were eating and dancing, and everyone was instantly becoming more comfortable with each other.

“Isn’t your boss married?” Daisy asks with a slight slur as she approaches you with two drinks in hand.

“I mean, I am too,” you scowl, hating how jealous you are at the sight of her shamelessly flirting with Ransom.

“Not really.”

“Do not start.”

“Oh come on!”

“You’re the one that invited him and his parents! I didn’t know anything about this!”

“I invited them out of obligation, and I’m fucking regretting it, because Jack’s mom is being a fucking bitch to the staff,” she mutters with an eye roll. “Ah fuck, Ransom’s coming over.”

“Daisy, please don’t let him-”

“You have to face him at some point, babe.”

“On my birthday?!” “You’re the one that’s been avoiding him. I’ll talk to you later.”

“I hate you.”

“I love you too, babe,” she laughs, kissing your cheek then walking off.

“I guess I know what you two were talking about,” he sighs as he comes up behind you.

“I don’t wanna argue with you tonight, Ransom. I really don’t.” “Can you please look at me?”

“No, because then everyone will know.”

“Is that so wrong?”

“Can we not have this talk here, where literally anyone can hear. Besides, Jack looks pissed enough as it is. He’s been on edge all day.”

“I’ll bet he has,” Ransom chuckles.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Take a walk with me.”

“Ransom-”

“You’re the one who wants to talk in private.”

“I can’t just-”

“I won’t take you out of here unless you ask me,” he promises and you roll your eyes.

“Fine,” you sigh, finally turning around but not looking at him, “lead the way.”

You feel Jack’s eyes on you, as well as your parents, and you can feel a storm brewing. The last thing you need is for anyone finding you and Ransom doing something you shouldn’t, so in this moment, you tell yourself that nothing can happen.

Once you two reach the coat check, he stands aside to the side to let you, following right behind you and closing the door.

‘Nothing can happen,’ you tell yourself mentally.

“Ransom, I know I shouldn’t have just-”

He interrupts you with a passionate and soul stealing kissing and you don’t even put up a fight.

‘God, that didn’t last long, did it?’

“I’ve missed you,” he breathes once you two break apart, lifting the bottom of your dress up.

“I’ve missed you too, but Ransom...oh fuck!” you whimper, the feel of his fingers on your clit make you feral.

“Come home, sweetheart,” he begs, slowly and easily sliding two fingers into your already soaked cunt.

“Ransom....oh fuck!” you moan, lulling your head back.

“We can make this work, I’ll take care of you, and I won’t let any of those fucks hurt you. I love you,” he broods before starting to bite and suck on your sweet spot right below your ear

“Jesus Ransom!”

“Missed having you in my bed, in my arms...underneath me....on the balcony,” he breathes, and you feel his smirk on your neck.

“Feels too fucking...fuck!” you cry out softly, cumming hard and feeling the pleasure that only he can make you feel.

God, you missed him.

“You let him fuck you, baby?” Ransom questions, fucking you through your high with his fingers before ripping your panties off.

“N-no baby, I only want you,” you whine, needing him to fill you in the worst way possible.

“Cause you’re mine?” he asks, undoing his pants before hoisting you up, and you instinctively wrap your legs around him. “You’re all mine?” he grunts as thrusts himself inside of you.

“Oh fuck!”

“Tell me, sweetheart! Tell me you’re all mine!”

“I’m all...all yours! I only want to be with you!” you moan. “Fuck, missed you so much, baby!”

“Never wanna sleep without you again! I love you so fucking much!” thrusting hard fast, gripping you like he’s afraid you’re going to vanish into thin air.

“Oh fuck! Ransom!”

“Let them hear you, sweetheart! Let them know you’re mine!”

“Ransom-”

“C’mon baby, you know you want me! You choose me!” he encourages as he finds that spot within you that always brings you to the state of pure bliss that no one else has ever been able to.

You push yourself out of the euphoric high you’re close to and force yourself to think about the conversation you had with Daisy. You do love Ransom. You love him so much it makes you insane (or maybe it’s just him that makes you insane), and you don’t want to spend another day without him. Yes, they’re are issues and it’s definitely not picture perfect, but you’re willing to work out the issues.

You want to work them out.

“Fuck, I’m yours, Ransom! Yours only!” you yell as you squirt hard, wrapping your arms around him tight as you try and hold on.

“Fuck!” he growls into your chest as fills you to brim, like always, making you so full and happy.

So fucking loved.

“I mean it, sweetheart,” he husks after riding out both your highs, “I want you home. I want you by my side. They’re things we need to talk about, I know that, but I’m tired of this. I love you.”

“I love you too, Ransom, with all of my heart.”

“We’ll leave now and-”

“I can’t just leave Jack without saying anything. I at least-”

“You don’t owe him shit. Lets just fucking go.”

“It’s my birthday party.”

“Daddy has gifts for you at home,” he smirks and you burst out laughing.

All hell is about to break loose, but he still makes you laugh like an idiot. God, you are so in love with this man.

“You know they heard us, we have to-”

“We don’t have to do a single fucking thing we don’t feel like doing.”

“Ransom-”

“Fuck all of these-”

“OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR, RANSOM!” Jack demands as he bangs on the coat check door.

So much for having a happy birthday.

“Fuck!” you sigh as Ransom pulls out and slowly sets you down.

“Hey, you have nothing to be scared of. He’s not gonna lay a fucking finger on you, I swear.”

“I don’t want you getting into a-”

“OPEN THE GODDAMN DOOR, RANSOM! I SWEAR TO GOD!” Jack demands as Ransom pulls up his boxer briefs and pants.

“It’s gonna be fine, sweetheart. Don’t worry,” Ransom promises with a reassuring smile.

He makes it so damn hard to not trust him.

“Fuck off, Jack,” Ransom warns as soon as he opens the door.

“Fuck you, Drysdale!” he spits, doing his best push him aside, but failing miserably. “The fuck did he say to you, huh? What the fuck did he promise you?!”

“Jack, you know this marriage has been dead for a while-”

“No! You and I...I know I haven’t been the best-”

“Jack, please don’t do this. It’s just over-”

“Y/N-” Jack interrupts as he tries to make his way to you.

“Don’t you fucking touch her,” Ransom growls.

“What are you gonna do? Not a single fucking thing, because I bet you didn’t tell her the fucking truth.”

“Shut the fuck up! That wasn’t apart of our agreement!”

“It wasn’t an agreement, remember? It was a bet,” Jack smiles sadistically.

Okay, what the fuck is going on?

“What’s he talking about, Ransom?” you ask, backing away from him as your heart to starts to fall apart.

“Listen, lets just go home and we’ll talk all about-”

“Tell her the fucking truth, Ransom! It’s not like you won her heart fair and square-”

“STAY OUT OF THIS!” he roars at Jack.

So much for not having your business out in the open.

“Ransom....no...I was a fucking bet to you? This is all a fucked up game to you?”

“I swear it’s not, if you’ll just hear me out-”

“It’s been a bet from day one,” Jack chuckles humorlessly, “since our first fucking date. What was it? $10,000 I won off of you?”

“Shut the fuck up right now,” Ransom warns before turning his attention back towards you. “I swear to God, I was gonna tell you tonight when we got home-”

“We don’t have a fucking home,” you sob, finally putting the pieces together. “So, that’s why you were pushing me to pick you? What? Was there a deadline for me to pick one of you?”

When they both stood there completely silent, you let out an incredulous  laugh.

Of fucking course.

“MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY OF ALL DAYS?!” you shout. “Of course, because the both of you are sick fucks, it makes all the sense in the fucking world!”

“Sweetheart, please, lets just go back-”

“How much was I worth? How much was my love and affection worth?!”

“Y/N, please-”

“HOW FUCKING MUCH, RANSOM?!”

“$40,000,” he replies softly, looking away from you.

“Oh, don’t tell me you’re fucking ashamed now! You knew what the fuck you were doing, but it’s all the same to you, isn’t it? I’m just another Marta?”

“This is not the same thing!”

“People really don’t matter to either one of you, do they? We’re all just a giant Monopoly game to you? Who cares who gets hurt as long as you all get your fucking money, right? Your happiness is all that matters?”

“Please, lets just go...I’ll explain everything-”

“There’s nothing to fucking explain, Ransom! Not a single fucking thing! You won, fair and square, so I guess you get your money! Right, Jack? I was gonna leave you for him, so he gets paid?”

“Honey-”

“Don’t you dare fucking ‘honey’ me,” you warn with a low growl. “I have put up with hell during this fucking marriage, because you fucking knew I wouldn’t leave to spare my family, but you had to go and fucking bet on it?! I mattered that little to you?! Yeah no, I’m done with the both of you. I can’t fucking do any of this anymore. Pay him his money, sign the fucking papers, and the both of you can fuck off and go straight to hell,” you scowl before pushing past the both of them and storming out.

“Y/N, please just-”

“Jack, I swear to fucking Christ, you put your hands on me and I’ll fucking stab you!”

“Please, just...I know it’s all fucked, but I do love you!”

“That’s why you’re cheating all the fucking time?! That’s why you tried to sleep with my best friend?!”

“I can do better-”

“You’re pathetic and I’m tired. I want a fucking divorce and that’s final.”

“Sweetheart, please just-”

“I fucking hate you, Ransom!” you yell, stopping and turning your full attention towards him.

“You don’t mean that!” he retorts as his eyes start to well up with tears. “You love me just as much as I love you!”

“I DON’T BELIEVE YOU! NOT ANYMORE!” you scream as angry tears start streaming down your face. “I DON’T BELIEVE A SINGLE FUCKING THING YOU HAVE TO SAY! YOU’RE JUST AS BAD AS THE REST OF THEM!”

“Baby-”

“Don’t fucking ‘baby’ me! I’m not your fucking anything! I was just a toy to get you more money and now you have it! Leave me alone and stay the fuck away fuck from me!”

“You know how much I-”

Ransom’s cut off by a fist to the face by Daisy.

“She said she’s fucking done! Leave her alone!” Daisy snaps at both Ransom and Jack.

“Daisy, you know good and damn well-”

“Jack, I’ve been begging for a fucking reason to fucking kill you! Say one more fucking thing and tonight will be that fucking night!” she warns before taking your hand and leading you out of the restaurant with her. “What do you want? What do you need?” she asks as you two make your way to her car.

“Can I just stay with you?” you sob.

“Anything you want, babe,” she promises, starting her car with her key fob before opening the door for you.

The entire drive to her house, you just cry and scream; trying to figure out how you got mixed up in all of their bullshit. Your phone won’t stop going off, and you know it’s Ransom. Yeah, you’re sure that Jack is trying to talk to you too, but it’s mainly Ransom. The tears in his eyes, the way he looked at you, the way he loved you...

It’s Ransom.

“It’s going to be okay,” Daisy promises as she pulls up to her, resting her hand on you thigh.

“I really don’t think so this time. I love him so much and I believed...I believed in every fucking thing he said.”

“Which one?”

“Ransom. Its always been Ransom.”

**

“You don’t think you could ever see yourself settling down and being a house wife?” Ransom asked as he held you close and you rested your head on his chest.

You’d taken a day off from sight seeing in Chicago and just spent the day in bed with Ransom. Fucking, talking, laughing, watching movies, and getting to know each other.

It was the best fucking day you’d ever had.

“Why should I want to?”

“I could take care of you.”

“What? Are you bothered by how much money I make?”

“It doesn’t matter to me,” he scoffed with a shrug, “I just know you’ve been working hard for forever, and I think you’d like to just sit back and relax.”

You were thoughtful before you responded with, “I guess...if I’m comfortable enough...if I trust the guy enough, then yeah. I could be a housewife.”

“Could you see yourself trusting me enough?” he asked timidly.

You looked up and smiled at him, “maybe.”

“What are we doing today?” Daisy asks, pulling you out of your thoughts.

You’d been staying with her for the last month and it had been a whirlwind to say the least.

“I figured I’d sign on the house, then get a bunch of furniture.”

“Did Jack finally sign the fucking papers?”

“Yeah, and I can only believe he did because you slashed his tires and destroyed his car.”

“He’s lucky I didn’t slash his fucking throat when he popped up here.”

“A bold move considering how much you hate him. How much you’ve always hated him.”

Jack waited three days before showing up to Daisy’s house; deciding he had a right to start making demands.

“You have to talk to me, Y/N! I’m your fucking husband!” he shouted, standing on the top step of Daisy’s house.

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” she yelled, letting go of you and making her way to the window, “FUCK OFF!”

“She’s my fucking wife, Daisy! Stay out of this!”

“Jack, I swear to God I’ll beat the shit out of you myself!”

“It’s not like she’s fucking innocent! Letting Ransom use her as his own personal fuck doll!”

“I’m gonna murder him,” Daisy muttered before backing away from the window and storming out of the room.

“Daisy! Daisy, stop it!” you shouted, getting up and running after her.

“This is my house and I’m telling you to get the fuck out of here!” she roared as soon as she opened the front door.

“You’re keeping my wife in there-”

“Jack, I swear to God! I punched Ransom in the fucking face and I’ll punch you too!”

“I’m not fucking afraid of a little who-”

The sound of Daisy’s fist connecting with Jack’s nose made you jump.

“YOU FUCKING BITCH! YOU BROKE MY NOSE!”

“You want a fucking black eye to go with it?! Get off of my property! I’m not as fucking nice as Y/N! I will call the cops and press charges! Now, get the fuck off of my property!”

“This isn’t fucking over,” he growled before storming off.

“Daisy, he can press charges!” you yelled as soon as she slammed the door shut.

“I wish he fucking would, he was on my goddamn property, uninvited, making demands, and screaming. I’ll tell the cops I was fearing for my life,” she shrugged. “Are you okay?”

“Daisy-”

“Are you okay?”

“I will be, thank you,” you sighed as your eyes started to water. “I love you.”

“I love you too, hun,” she smiled weakly as wrapped you in a tight hug. “Lets order Chinese and watch Hereditary.”

“You always know the right things to say,” you laughed and she laughed along with you.

Two days later, he dropped off a hospital bill and she just laughed, saying,

“He’s a fucking lunatic if he thinks I’m paying for his fucking nose. He can take me to fucking court. My dad is a better lawyer than his is anyway.”

A week later, he called you screaming about the divorce papers and, once again, you just begged him to sign them. As usual, he told you no and that you two could work through all of it.

“Oh, he’s gonna sign those fucking papers,” Daisy muttered, getting up and putting her shoes on.

“How the hell are gonna get him to agree to that?” you scoffed as you threw your phone down.

“I’m gonna wreck his precious little Porsche.”

“Yeah okay,” you laughed before laying back and flipping through channels. However, your demeanor changed when you saw her grab her switchblade. “DAISY!”

“Be back in a little, darling!” she called over her shoulder as she practically skipped down the steps.

30 minutes later, she was back with a look of pure satisfaction on her face.

“Daisy-”

“He should be signing those papers any day now.” “What did you do?!”

“Oh, ya know, slashed his tires, broke all his windows, smashed the windshield-”

“DAISY!”

“I can be just as crazy as him.”

“They’re gonna have you committed,” you laughed.

“If they haven’t caught me by now, they’ll never catch me.”

Three days later, your lawyer called you to tell that Jack returned the papers, signed and without fuss. You were excited to tell Daisy, but your parents decided that would be a good day to show up and try to talk to you.

Cause the universe can never let you have a good fucking day,

“You have to admit that you’re somewhat responsible for this. I warned you,” your Mother snapped.

“If you came here to talk me back into getting back with him, you’re too late. My lawyer already called me to tell me he signed the papers,” you shrugged as you lit a cigarette.

“Enough hasn’t happened?! Now you have to-”

“Leave her alone,” your Father sighed, reaching for your cigarettes and grabbing one of his own.

“For fucks sake! You’re a doctor! You know how bad-”

“God, just stop complaining for five fucking minutes, please!” your Father shouted, slamming his hand against the table it, and it caused both you and your Mother to jump.

“Listen Y/N,” your Father started, “obviously, we’re not proud and we’re not happy.”

“Dad-”

“Just hear me out. Fucking in a restaurant full of your family and friends? We raised you’d much better than that.”

Oh, if only he knew where else you and Ransom had been having fun.

“However, we understand. You and Jack...it should’ve been over a while ago and we...we shouldn’t have pushed for you to stay. Finding out that all of this was just a bet...lets just say that his Father exchanged a few words after you left,” he sighed before he took a drag from his cigarette. “Now, as for you and Ransom-”

“Do not bring him up,” you instantly snapped, taking a drag from your own cigarette.

“Y/N-”

“Drop it.”

“You can’t just-”

“Y/F/N, just leave it alone,” she urged softly.

You knew she would understand.

“Fine, anyway, as an apology, your Mother and I wanna pay for your new house.”

“Um thanks, but no thanks,” you scoffed before you took a final drag from your cigarette and ashed it.

“Sweet Pea, we’re trying to make up for this-”

“If you want to make up for things, maybe try just being better parents. It’s not that hard.”

“You have to understand-”

“No, you have to understand. I don’t ask either of you for anything, I take care of myself, and up until recently, I’ve stayed out of trouble. The moment I told you both about how bad things were getting, you made me feel like shit for wanting better. Then, when I rightfully filed for a divorce the first time, I got bullied into going back. He beat me the fuck up, and you both made excuses, blamed me, and pushed me back to him. I should’ve been your top priority and I wasn’t. I don’t want fancy gifts or money, I just want you two to be better parents,” you finished with a small sob as you dried your eyes. “Now, you two should leave. Daisy is gonna be home soon and you two are the last two people she wants to see.”

“We’ll call you in a few days,” is all your Mother said as they both got up.

When Daisy got home and crying, she didn’t even ask what was wrong, she just sat next to you and held you. It had become routine.

“Ya know, I’m happy that you let Jack keep everything, but you should’ve gone for the Maserati,” Daisy sighs, getting up as her doorbell rings.

“I didn’t want it.”

“Yeah, but I did,” she calls over shoulder. “You could’ve gotten it and gifted it to me. Then-oh, what the fuck do you want?!” she suddenly yells.

“Jesus fucking Christ, calm down, Daisy. I’m here to see, Y/N,” Ransom retorts, clearly in no mood to deal with a middle man.

“She doesn’t wanna see you-”

“I’m not leaving, Daisy. Even if you do punch me again.”

“I should fucking stab you.”

“It’s not like I wouldn’t past you.”

You take a deep breath before getting up and making your way to the front door.

“I’ll handle it, Dais-”

“Hun-”

“He really isn’t going to leave, so I may as well-”

“I can always call the cops.”

“Lets save that for if Jack comes back,” you chuckle softly.

Daisy looks from Ransom to you before saying, “I’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything.”

Then there were two.

“What is she? Your personal bodyguard now?” Ransom scoffs.

“What do you want, Hugh?”

“Don’t.”

“Isn’t that what you make the help call you? Isn’t that all I am? A trinket you can use to get money?” “Stop it, you know that’s not true! I love you!”

“There was a time when I actually believed that,” you scoffed.

“Listen, please just hear me out. You won’t answer my texts or calls-”

“Why should I?!”

“Because you don’t know everything!”

“Hugh-”

“Stop calling me that!”

“Why can’t you just leave me alone?! You got your money, didn’t you?!”

“I didn’t take the fucking money!”

“Why the hell not? You went through all this-”

“I LOVE YOU!” he shouts and you let out a frustrated groan. “I don’t care about any of it. I know I’m an asshole and that it’s to believe that I didn’t care about you at all, but that’s not...God, if only understood just how much I actually love you.”

“Are there no other women for you to manipulate? You haven’t-”

“I’ll show you my bank account-”

“What the fuck will that prove? You had a ton of money before, so $40,000 isn’t really going to do much, is it?”

“Sweetheart, what can I do?”

“Ransom, I trusted you! I trusted you; I gave you my heart. I let you do things to me that I’d never let anyone else do to me. I was about to face hell for you, and then I find out, ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY NO LESS, that this was all a bet to you! How the fuck do you think that makes me feel?! The worst part is, I still love you and I miss you like crazy, but I don’t trust you. I can’t. Honestly, I don’t know if I ever will again.”

“Please, let me just explain myself. Hear me out and if you still...if you still feel like this is something we can’t salvage, I’ll...”

“You’ll what?”

“I don’t, try to think of something else.”

“Ransom-”

“I’m not gonna tell you that I’m gonna let you go, sweetheart. Cause I fucking can’t. I’ve held you in my arms, I’ve made love to you, I’ve fucking felt your love which is what I wanted sine forever...I can’t just quit and walk away.”

“Ransom-”

“Just hear me out, okay? You know me well enough that I wouldn’t beg if I didn’t care. If I didn’t love you.”

He had you there.

You run a hand through your hair and huff, “let me go and put on some shoes-”

“Why-”

“You’re insane if you think Daisy is gonna let you step foot in her house after all of this.”

“Oh for fucks sake-”

“Ransom, she punched you once. You think she won’t do it again?”

“Fucking fine,” he mutters, rolling his eyes.

The second you step you make your way back into the living area, Daisy is looking at you with a cocked eyebrow and her arms folded across her chest.

“I don’t need it today, Dais.”

“So, you’re just gonna take him back?”

“I haven’t decided on anything, I’m just going to talk to him.”

“Uh huh.”

“Dais.”

“You do what you think is best.”

“Daisy, I know, okay? I fucking know but-”

“I get it, babe. I really do. I know you love him, but you’ve been through so much already. However, with Ransom...I know you still cry when you think I can’t hear you, you hold your phone a little bit longer when he’s the one calling you before you hit ignore...you’re never going to be over him, so you need to do this.”

“Thank you,” you smile, eyes watery, as you sit down and hug her.

“I better get a good fucking report, or his fucking car is next,” she warns and you laugh with a sniffle.

“You gonna be okay, babe?”

“Like you said: I need to do this,” you shrug.

You get up, take a deep breath, and step into your flip flops.

It’s not going to be easy, but you need some sort of closure...or answer.

“Where do you wanna go?” you ask as you strap yourself into the passenger side of his Beamer.

“My house?”

“Nice fucking try,” you scoff.

“I’m not gonna fucking try anything, Y/N,” he sighs as he turns on the car.

“As already stated, I don’t trust you. So no, not your fucking house.”

“Okay, then where do you wanna go?”

“This was your idea, Ransom.”

“Because you wouldn’t answer your phone!”

“I can go back inside right now if you want.”

“Jesus, fucking stop. You already know I can’t win an argument against you,” he sighs as he starts his car. “It’s not like this is a discussion you want or will have in public, so lets just go to my house. The moment you feel uncomfortable or like it’s going somewhere you don’t want it to go, I’ll bring you back, or pay for a car service for you.”

“Ransom-”

“If there’s another place that you’ll feel more comfortable at, we’ll go there.”

You have a mini mental debate with yourself before suggesting, “I’m going to sign for my new house today. We can talk there.”

“There’s no fucking furniture.”

“Ransom, I swear to God.”

“Okay okay, tell me where it is. We’ll go,” he mutters as he pulls off.

You put the address in his phone and set it up for him to hear the directions, not wanting to talk to him more than you have to. As you both sit in silence, while he drives, you try to prep yourself for what’s about to happen.

Being alone with him terrifies the hell out of you at this point, because it’s been so long and you need him. Every part of you needs him, just like always. You have to be strong though. You have to decide what the hell you’re going to do, because the pain you’re constantly living with while living in limbo is too much. You have to decide if you’re officially done with Hugh Ransom Drysdale, or if you’re ready to quit him for good.

You have to decide if love is enough to save the sinking ship you two have been on for the last month.

~~

taglist: @emerald-evans​, @maroonsunrise83​, @whiskeytangofoxtrot555​ , @companionjones​, @autumnrose40​, @fuckingbye​, @pono-pura-vida​, @nomadstucky​, @mazda098​, @chemtrails-club​

[autumnmobile12]

Felt like sharing some speculation today:

All right, so we know My Hero Academia has the something of the same premise as X-Men in the sense that select a group of humans were suddenly born with powers, the whole 'evolution leaps forward’ deal.

We see in My Hero how the First Generation of people with Quirks, especially the ones who appeared non-human or semi non-human, were originally ostracized like the mutants of X-Men are, but then more people were born with powers and then more people had powers until it became a widespread phenomenon and ‘normal’ people became the minority and society had to restructure itself to accommodate the new normal.

But have you read The Resurrectionist: The Lost Work of Dr. Spencer Black?

The plot is a 19th century doctor who theorizes that mythical creatures like the minotaur, harpies, sirens, and the like all existed millions of years ago but slowly interbred with humanity and eventually died out altogether.  So he believed that when someone was born with extra fingers, limbs, a tail or otherwise didn’t have the typical human shape, it wasn’t so much a mistake in genetic coding as it was the extremely recessive genetics of those ancient creatures trying to reoccur in the modern day.

...

Definitely an interesting premise, so now I’m wondering if the My Hero world has a cult, conspiracy theorists, or even some scientists/historians that have similar views regarding mythology.

If this whole Quirk thing happened back in the Stone Age where no one had the benefit of science or awareness of DNA, anyone born with an otherworldly power would have been worshipped as a deity. Or the ones born with a non-human appearance would have been reviled as monsters.

So following the idea of The Resurrectionist, maybe the sudden appearance of superpowers did lead people to take a closer look at the old myths and consider the stories of the gods/goddesses of old were originally stories of people with 'Quirks' who rose to power.  Humans with meta-powers ruled the world for a few centuries, then those powers inexplicably died off. For a variety of reasons or maybe unknown reasons, humanity lost that history but remembered the old stories and chalked them up to just myth until the powers that made it possible began to reappear full force several millennia later.

Some myths began as historical events but in being handed down hundreds of generations, the multiple tellings and retellings exaggerated them into the realm of impossibility.

Lightning/electricity powers:  Zeus, Thor, Hinon

Fire powers:  Hephaistos, Surtr, Hestia, the phoenix

Foresight:  Any seer, prophet, or oracle that appears in any myth ever

Ice powers:  Yuki-onna, Skadi, Morana

Water powers:  Poseidon, Chalchiuhtlicue, Anuket, Tlaloc

Plant-related Quirks:  Demeter

Gigantification Quirks: Giants, titans, nephilim

Ryukyu:  Is a dragon.  ‘nuff said.

All Might:  Herakles

Tokoyami having a bird head but otherwise appearing human is pretty reminiscent of the old Egyptian gods.

Hawks:  Any winged creature; take your pick.  Personally, the one that comes to mind for me is Hermes.  He only had wings on his sandals, sure, but the trickster archetype resonates.

Tsuyu: Naiads, nymphs, rusalki, any kind of water fae

Momo: Sedna (created sea life from her finger bones), Ukemochi no Kami (produces food from her own body)

Best Jeanist: This one's a bit of a reach, but the fabric thread thing coupled with the long, spider-like limbs kinda brings to mind the story of Arachne the weaver.

We do get a nod to Ancient Greek mythology with the prison Tartarus.  What better place to lock away beings with god-like powers than the prison of the Titans itself?

Obviously an incomplete list, but you see my point.

Personally, I'm leaning toward cultist ideology with this one as I find it hard to believe every civilization would have forgotten about a previous appearance of Quirks. But civilizations die off, civilizations are overrun by others and their histories are suppressed, maybe this hypothetical 'previous Quirk phenomenon' wasn't as widespread as the current one and so fewer people were affected and therefore fewer people were alive to verify the truth of facts, maybe this hypothetical time was from an age of oral history and nothing was documented properly, so not impossible just really, really improbable.

Still, I love mythology and I find it an interesting headcanon to think about.

[aliea82]

The pain hits hard, a blinding migraine that whites out his vision and had him falling to his knees, hands in his hair, a scream of pain on his lips.

Robin and Nancy fell beside him, hands on him, holding him up, asking what was wrong.

He couldn’t answer.

For years he had lived with headaches and migraines, but never had they hit this hard or so fast.

As his vision darkened, he was sure he was going to pass out when something in him shifted.

Memories.

Hundreds of them.

Spanning thousands of years.

His past lives making themselves known.

This wasn’t the first time this had happened.

For many lives he had had this blinding pain, this download of memories, every time triggered by one horrible, hideous act.

Eddie was dying.

The pain fades as quickly as it started and Steve is instantly on his feet, running faster than he ever had in this lifetime.

Memories clashed and raced inside of his head, too many to look at yet all the same.

He and Eddie, always there, in each other’s lives, but never together, never knowing who they truly are, not until one or both are dying.

His last life he died first, on a battlefield an ocean away.

Eddie had held him, wearing the uniform of the enemy, crying as he begged Steve to forgive him.

Before that, Eddie had died, fallen from a building site, Steve unable to get to him because he was miles away.

Before that, again, Eddie, this time of an illness, it was slow, it destroyed his body and Steve had been his doctor, but he couldn’t save him.

Hundreds of deaths, thousands of years.

Never the chance to be who they were till one of them died.

Cursed to love but never to love together.

Not this time.

Steve spotted them instantly, Dustin crying over Eddie as he held him in his arms.

Skidding to a halt he fell to his knees and reached out.

“I’m here, Eddie, Edwardus...”

Dark eyes turned to him and blood covered lips smiled.

“My turn.”

“No, not this time, I’m going to get you out.”

“You, always, say that.”

“Times have changed, we just have to get you to a hospital.”

“Steven...it’s too late.”

“Shut up, I’m not letting it happen, not again.”

Blood bubbled out of Eddie’s mouth as he went to talk, pain causing him to tense.

“I’m sorry...amica mea, maybe next time.”

“Dominae eius Edwardus!”

Steve felt tears fall as he pulled Eddie to him, wrapping his arms around him, holding him close.

“Please...please, I can’t, not this time, not now, I need you with me on this one.”

“Look after the kids, keep them safe.”

In lives before, the other followed not long after.

Eddie shot himself on the battle field, Steve jumped off the same building Eddie had fallen from, Steve injected himself after not curing Eddie’s illness.

They always followed because to live with the memories, with their countless deaths was unbearable.

“Not without you.”

“You have to, this time...keep them...safe.”

“I...no...no!”

He moves, picking Eddie up, a scream escaping the other, hands gripping at Steve as he carries Eddie towards the rift.

********

Beginning of time.

So, here’s the thing. You know that saying, ‘Adam and Eve not Adam and Steve’?

What if its right? But not how you think?

Adam and Eve were always to be together, it was the law of the land, but the story goes Eve was born of Adam, a male, incapable of producing a female. After all, only a female can have both the genetic code for female and male.

So, God made Adam, Adam made Eve, but Eve was male also, and so became Steve.

This was, of course wrong, a mistake made by a god that didn’t know better, after all, at this time they were just a child playing with powers they didn’t fully understand.

Anyways I digress.

Adam and Steve loved each other, it was what they were made for, but they couldn’t reproduce, it wasn’t possible.

This angered God, because their play toy wasn’t doing what they wanted.

So God made Eve.

God made Eve and decreed that Adam love her, leaving Steve alone and heartbroken.

Now here is where things get messy.

Among God’s first creation, the angels of heaven, was an angel that belonged to the choir. This angel was beautiful, the opposite of his siblings, with dark curling hair and darker eyes.

Many believed he should have been part of the fallen, belonged with Lucifer in the pits of hell, but Edwardus was pure, he was loyal and he loved his God.

Until he saw Steve.

Edwardus broke the rules of heaven, he travelled to earth and befriended the lonely and heartbroken Steve.

They got close, and soon became lovers.

They hid this from their God, meeting in secret, loving wildly and passionately.

But like all secrets, they were found out.

Their God cursed them, to forever live a thousand lives, but never to be together, and only knowing who they truly were when one of them was dying.

*****

Steve watched the monitor, watched the line as it showed every heart beat, as it showed solid proof that Eddie was still alive.

Beside was Robin, her head on his shoulder, eyes closed, her hands wrapped around his own, holding him as if he was the most solid thing in this world.

Never in all his lives had he found her before, but as he tore his eyes away from the line he buried his nose in her hair and just breathed her in.

She was something new, something never placed on this earth before, something he knew was made just for him.

But why?

After all this time, after countless lives, why did this soul that spoke directly to his own soul suddenly appear.

She couldn’t have been made to be his lover, she love woman far too much, and he loved...

He turned back to Eddie, then at the monitor.

He had spent the last day sifting through memories, searching for the garden, looking for the times they had been happy.

They where there, but messy, filled with dark death and fear.

“Tell me again.” Robin whispers.

“Eddie is an Angel, I am the second man, cursed to love but never knowing till one or both of us are dying.” He had explained it better before when they had taken Eddie in for surgery.

“And...you remember it all?”

“Yes.”

Robin had known something was wrong when Steve had started shouting and cursing in Latin when the Doctors had told them he couldn’t update them on Eddie’s situation because they weren’t family.

Robin understood most of it, but Steve had spoken so fast in an accent she never heard from him before that she lost the thread of what was said.

When he spoke again in English his vocabulary had changed, tending to be on the posh side, using words she knew he wouldn’t have understood just that morning.

He had changed.

His eyes seemed older, wiser, and his young teen body held itself as if he was a grown ass man.

“What was the oldest you lived to?”

“Many lives where full, old age taking one of us in the end. Those where the worst of lives. Knowing in the end we had spent a whole life time close but never knowing who we were to each other. So many lives of marriages and children...” he sighs.

“I loved them all, I miss them...but they all had full lives, full of love and happiness. But I, when each end came, with me at Eddie’s bedside or him at mine, was always filled with pain, anger and regret.” He looks down at Eddie, tears in his eyes.

“He is mine, he always has been, just as I am his. Always so close, but never together.”

Robin shifts, pushing closer to him.

“So God exists.”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“That’s pretty wild, I mean, given what is going on here, with the upside down. Why doesn’t he come and stop it?”

“Because they left their play thing a long time ago. God no longer cares what we do or how we do it. They will be off playing something new.”

“They? More than one God?”

“No, God is genderless, they are just God.”

“Right.” Robin nods, but her tone makes him smile as it shows she doesn’t fully understand, and he couldn’t blame her, this was a lot to take.

“So, if Eddie is an Angel...why can’t he just heal himself?”

“Because he’s human, at the moment. I don’t know if he will ever be an angel again.”

“Okay, that makes sense.”

They fall quiet, Steve watches Eddie’s chest rise and fall, helped by the ventilator, something that would have saved Eddie all those years ago, when Steve had to sit at his bed side and watch as his breathing became laboured then stopped.

But not now, now medicine was advance, it kept people alive, allowed the body to heal.

Eddie was healing.

It would take time, but right now, he was alive.

~~~~~~

Not sure if there is more to this, It just had to be written.

Please feel free to use it as a prompt, just please tag me cause I would love to read people's take on it.

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

I’m not going to dive into anything deep here, just ranting.

When you tell someone about your trauma, whatever it may be. From an uncomfortable encounter with someone you thought you were close to, or something that absolutely changed you without a doubt, good people will tell you ‘your trauma is valid no matter how deep.’ You can listen to someone who had been hurt deeply by a family member or adult or child and know that it was traumatizing. You can hear someone tell you about how distressed they were when someone touched them, even simply on the leg, in an uncomfortable way and tell them that their trauma from that time is valid. But when it comes to trying to figure out if your own trauma is good enough, why is it so hard? You can validate others all day long and listen to their stories, but when you hear yours it just doesn’t add up. Why did something so simple stick with me? If it wasn’t bad, why am I afraid that there is something wrong with every child who shows even the slightest sign of being abused? Even if nothing is happening, why do I overthink and find ways to connect what happened to what I’m seeing? It’s really embarrassing to think of even going to a therapist because there are people who literally cannot function normally because of their trauma, and here I am with what feels like horrible overthinking, paranoia, and anxiety. But when I step back and listen to others it feels like I’m just a normal person who is acting sick just to know how it feels.

Hi anon,

Survivors who struggle to give themselves the same empathy they give other survivors have unique experiences and beliefs to explain it. It's possible that you've had experiences where you endured victim blaming and/or gaslighting and ended up internalizing some of that rhetoric towards yourself, like that your experiences aren't significant enough to seek therapy for or that you're exaggerating.

There are several factors that impact our resiliency - our ability to bounce back and cope with adverse events, including the environment we were raised in, our support network, genetics, hereditary mental health conditions, and preexisting trauma. If you lived in a safe and supportive environment with no preexisting trauma or mental health issues in your family, you're more likely to effectively cope with a potentially traumatic event than someone in an unsafe environment with no support, mental health issues in the family, and prior trauma. Everyone is dealt a different set of cards that make them more or less prone to becoming traumatized. That's why trauma is not defined by the event itself, because the same event can elicit varying psychological responses, no matter how severe the event is perceived. So, comparing your trauma to others who have had it worse does not benefit you nor the person you're comparing yourself to - all it does is make you feel needlessly wrong. Sure it could be worse, but it could be better too.

It's also possible that the magnitude of your trauma is too intimidating to confront and it's easier to minimize and rationalize it. For some people, depersonalization and emotional amnesia can explain why they struggle to empathize with their own trauma as opposed to others.

It sounds like deep down you know that what happened had a significant impact on you, and it's worth listening to that more. I hope that you can eventually give yourself the compassion and validation you deserve. Please let us know if you need anything else or want to add on.

-Bun