#and actually was a good mentor to someone too lmao

[sketching-shark]

U know wgat? I gotta give props to dyslite for making their swk and lemh as twins.

Bc their dynamics fits sm as this rather than in a romantic sense.

Plus! The lemh esper wants swk esper dead. Jusy like the jttw classic ;D

It is so bizarre that sm of swk history gets rewritten in western fandom in favor for lemh. And makes swk OR ANY OF HIS ACTUAL FRIENDS AND COWORKERS BE WORSE THAN THEY ACTUALLY ARE

The lemh favoritism irks me sm—like u completely rework this guy in order for u to like him. Thats no longer lemh—its the better swk who could do no wrong and is emo.

Hmmmm I'm going to actually have to look into what the deal with dyslite is one of these days because I've never played it and am still not sure what's going on there, but I'm glad people are appreciating the "twins who want to kill each other" relationship between the two from the og classic manifesting in other works. Cain and Abel in monkey form <3

[gyuswhore]

How to Win Hearts for Dummies (the answer is lattes and banana bread)

Idol!mingyu x makeup-artist!reader

genre: fluff, angst, one sided pining

warnings: slow burn, swearing, shitty bosses, some descriptions of anxiety and breakdowns, one sided pining, reader has issues opening up (lmk if there's anything else)

13.4k words (im sorry)

plot: This apprenticeship was taking a toll on your self control in the worst possible way. Walking in 8 months ago, a resignation from your corporate job and a dream in your pocket, you made an oath to stay focused on the goal at hand and to enjoy what you did for a living for once; makeup. Except, your still stuck as an apprentice with a mentor that has no inclination for your growth.

And you’re a little bit in love with your client.

masterlist

(A/N): repost bc Tumblr wouldn’t show it in the tags!!! Thank you for clicking on this clonking my pants as I hit post ! I started working on this at the beginning of exam season and I’m posting it the night before my last exam 🥲 what a full circle moment. Also pls excuse any inconsistencies or grammatical errors, my beta reader, unlike me, actually cares ab her grades and is in the beginning of exam season and therefore will not be able to read through this monstrosity for a while lmao. Enjoy hehe

Edit: I’ve just realised how many mistakes and grammatical errors I’ve made throughout the fic, serves me right for proofreading at 3 AM after a stats exam. I’ll try to fix them all asap!!! 

The camera goes off again with a distinct click. And again. And again. And again.

The camera had gone off innumerable times since Mingyu walked out in another themed ensemble, and you were there, watching, through all of it.

You watched as he kept switching positions, rotating his body and his head. Morphing his features into more variations of dazed and serious than you thought could ever exist.

Standing there, at the portable table behind the main setup, attempting to clean a lip brush that would be needed soon when the inevitable call for-

“Makeup over here! We’re taking 5”

You note your sluggish pace as you snap out of your daze and scrubbing harder with the removal cloth. Snapping your head down, hoping nobody noticed your incessant heart eyes, you realize you were in trouble now.

‘Y/n, you’ve been cleaning that brush since I left 10 minutes ago!’ The senior makeup artist snapped.

You finish up the brush in hand and quickly hand her what she needs, not before rummaging for the tiny pot of lip product you absent-mindedly packed away.

‘Sorry, really sorry’ you choke out before she leaves in her badly concealed irritated expression. You see her make a beeline for a waiting Mingyu, who adorably squats for the woman so she has better access.

This apprenticeship was taking a toll on your self control in the worst possible way. Walking in 8 months ago, a resignation from your corporate job and a dream in your pocket, you made an oath to stay focused on the goal at hand and to enjoy what you did for a living for once; makeup. Except, your still stuck as an apprentice with a mentor that has no inclination for your growth.

And you’re a little bit in love with your client.

It's not that you were overage (your mother begs to differ), but considering you were on your second big girl job and still no sign of a potential lover, the prospect was starting to weigh on your head. The first rattling experience was when one of your closest friends announced her engagement, your thoughts still stuck in a 19 year old you considered she was too young. She was not, in fact, 19, or too young, but a perfectly acceptable age to consider marriage with someone she loved, you had soon realized. You were never one for the dating scene, but you were always one to don your Dr. Love labcoat whenever an emotionally bruised friend would come seeking help. You were good at advice, but awfully bad at applying it yourself.

Coming into this job, surrounded by a plethora of beautiful people, your heart would be of stone if it weren’t to waver.

The gong of unattainability had struck the second you laid eyes on Mingyu, laughing at something Hoshi had shown him on the phone. There he was, hair and makeup-less, looking like he had just rolled out of bed (which he had), and beautiful as ever. Beginning this new chapter with a bang, only problem was that it turned into an 8 month shoot out. Having encountered a number of gorgeous people, you’d learned to appreciate their genetic lottery pull and move on. But never had a single look left you as breathless and unbeared as that one, fateful look at Mingyu. One of the team members was busy assuring you not to worry too much about the pandemonium in the dressing room, that everyone would handle it and you were only asked to observe and help with smaller things as instructed; for now. You weren’t listening too hard though.

You were now adjusted to the chaos that comeback season and 13 men plus staff in a microscopic dressing room brought about. But you will never forget how in the midst of your first rain of hell, Mingyu had asked you to pass his phone.

‘Please?’ He had said, and you slammed your hand with a force of a woman infatuated on the table behind you and (literally) breathed out the first thing you had ever said to him.

‘Here’

He smiled and gave you a quick ‘thanks’.

There was no coming back after he flashed you those irresistible canines, and to this day, you wonder what nation you saved in a previous life to be able to have him know your name, hear it roll off his tongue in his pretty voice as he asks you to fix his smudged eyeliner.

You sigh defeatedly before your mentor slash irritated makeup artist shoves her load back in your hands and instructs you to come inside to pack up. It’s become routine for you now, as you begin to pack up the bigger palettes and tools, handing a ready-to-go-home Junhui the pack of makeup wipes he asked for, zipping up bags and closing tubs of outfits. It's an organized chaos but one everybody has grown to work around.

Mingyu is done before you, as he removes his jewelry and begins to shrug off his jacket. You scramble to find the clothes he came in and his coat, pointedly ignoring the familiar scent of wood. He thanks you and shucks off the remainder of his clothing, he might be used to stripping in front of professional staff, but you look away regardless for your own sanity.

Helping the last stylists hang the final jacket, you grab your bag and get ready to leave in your own car. Mingyu has left, not before throwing a “you did well, thank you!” over his shoulder at the remaining people in the room and leaving for the honking car outside.

***

Your mashing bananas in a bowl at 12 AM when you start thinking. Impulsive baking sessions had become a norm since you started working with Seventeen, needing to keep yourself occupied to stop spiraling. Mingyu was a recurring topic (surprise surprise), but one that quickly faded when you begin to think about what the future holds for you. You start mashing the banana harder. You consider the idea that you can’t complain, being in a position some of the most well seasoned pros had difficulty reaching. Being a single young woman and being allowed so close to some of the most unattainable men was seen as near impossible. You’d like to think it was your skill that got you here but can never seem to fully rule out a processing error.

It’s hard, being stuck in the same place. Your apprenticeship should have ended 2 months ago, but even if it had, you’d still be doing the same thing. The senior artist trusts no-one but a select few to work on the boys for photoshoots, events, music videos. People like you are left to sanitize sponges and clean the fallout.

You crack an egg on the counter and it splits open entirely, falling on the floor, yolk and all. Your inability to grow stays within the idea that you can’t really do your artistry like you want.

And how you never learn to crack your eggs on the bowl.

***

Showing up on the Going Seventeen set, you rush to the dressing room way earlier than you should. Being completely honest, you’re really only rushing because you want to maneuvere yourself to do Mingyu’s makeup before somebody else snags him. This was one of the very few engagements where you were occasionally allowed to take charge on makeup. Not that it was required for the show much at all; intensity and occasion wise. Your rare (possible) moment to (maybe) come into Mingyu’s organic notice was an opportunity never to be dropped by you.

You help setting up everything on the counters as the boys begin to (loudly) file in the rooms. You see Mingyu walk in and move to ask him to sit down once he’s done discarding his coat. He was first in line and you ‘happened’ to be the first one ready to begin working.

‘Is the eye makeup heavy? I just got a sty removed and I don’t know if I should be putting anything on at all.’ He asks as he sits down and you ready your damp sponge.

‘Not really, just smoothing things out. It should be fine.’ you say as you begin to press the compact on his cheek.

Your not really sure why, because you’ve never been able to muster anything above brief replies when in contact with him, but something in you pushes you to keep talking.

‘I’m surprised they even asked for us, they rarely ever do’ you continue, heart pounding so hard you’re afraid he might hear it.

He breathes out a laugh ‘Yeah. They even started advertising the show on youtube and subway stations and stuff, I didn’t know until I saw someone talk about it online’

You smile at his response ‘Well, all of you work so hard, it's about time they pull this to a high scale production’

‘It's never really work if your having fun, we try to be ourselves on here’ He replies, still smiling slightly.

You’re damn near close to collapsing on the floor at this point. This is the longest conversation you’ve ever had with him. You opt to smile in response as you start to concentrate on his eyebrows. The rest of his face is done far too soon as you zone out and do what you do best.

‘All done’ you announce as you pull away from his lips, trying not to have yoour gaze linger.

“Y/n! Can you start on Vernon if you're done?’, another artist calls from behind.

‘Yeah, he can come up!’ you reply as Mingyu (regretfully) walks towards hair.

Just because you sew your mouth shut with Mingyu doesn’t mean it applies for the rest of them, you’re quite friendly with all of them and Vernon does well to remind you as he sits down and quips a ‘hey bestieee’ in an elongated greeting.

You audibly laugh ‘That’s another word I’ll be hearing for the next month’

‘Regretfully so’ He feigns sympathy.

‘Be quiet and look up’ you say with a fond smile before you get started on him.

***

You sit on the floor in front of your television, trail mix on the coffee table as the movie plays as background noise for your thoughts - again.

There’s a smile on your face, but you dont notice as you think about the small talk you made with Mingyu today, wondering if it could become a regular occurrence if you learned to keep your heart and mind in check.  

You were never one to stand up and take effort to do what was right for you, which is why you were talked into choosing Business Administration by your friend in highschool, who you never speak to now because she decided to ditch you for another group who were more inclined to shuttle themselves to liver failure by partying every last weekend in your entire college career. You were talked into applying to corporate jobs by your counsellors as you started looking for make-up courses, needing to abandon your dream for the second time when you landed a decent entry level desk job. It took years before you decided to choose yourself for once and made the big leap after multiple courses you had took on the side. Life was starting to look bright after getting hired here, but you’re not sure if you overrode a high or if you went back to your old zipped mouth state after you settled in. Never sure if you expected too much or if things really were as stagnant as they felt.

***

Overmanifestation can be a thing. You're not really sure how it works but you’re reaping what you’ve sowed right about now.

You’re currently standing in an offside corridor in a hotel lobby, clad in a pretty white floral dress, and a nervous, fidgety Mingyu standing in front of you.

'I know I'm asking you to do something difficult and I know it seems pointless because I'm not doing anything wrong either that you have to lie about it'

This was supposed to be a staycation with your friends for you to relax and get your mind off things. Your ticket to relaxation has become a nightmare.

'And I understand I'm being super unreasonable but I'm really trying to keep it on the down-low as we get to know each other'

You were waiting with your friends on the couches positively stuffing your faces with the complimentary chocolate bowl placed on the coffee table as a couple other friends checked you guys into your rooms. You were laughing and talking with your group, carefree and ready to have a week of well deserved rest.

That was the plan anyway. Until you see someone across the lobby, also in line at check in. He had an unmistakable toothy smile,and was hand in hand with a concealed brunette.

Your smile abruptly falls in disbelief as you feel your world halt around you.

The same hands come up to brush the hair out of the woman's face to place a kiss on her temple, smiling wide.

The nauseating feeling of ice going down your spine is becoming more and more apparent. You attempt to swallow the lump in your throat but it's like trying to swallow a brick. You lick your lips and attempt to look away but your eyes keep feeding on the picture you painted yourself in your worst nightmares. Realizing you're on the brink of possible hyperventilation, your friend drops her head and asks you if you're okay. You look up at her, not knowing what to say as you realize that nodding furiously will convince her.

Mingyu has a girlfriend.

Of course he would. What were you thinking? This man is one of the most eligible bachelors in the country, why on earth would he be single? You’re unhinged, you decide, for thinking you may have a chance, when the woman turns around and you see her in full. She’s gorgeous.

A part of you still wants to believe that you're officially past the point of sanity and that you've begun to see Mingyu in every tall man. The universe, however, is cruel. He pushes his head up and in your general direction, and locks eyes with you in unmistakable recognition.

He stops smiling.

So here you are listening to Mingyu asking you to keep this a secret from the company, to forget the woman waiting for him in the lobby.

You can only nod in slight motions as he goes on his rant to justify his oath to secrecy, managing a tight lipped smile as you miraculously find your voice, hoarse as it may be.

'Don't worry about it, I understand' - ouch - 'it's none of my business anyway. I'll keep my lips sealed, I promise'

'Thank you, thank you, thank you I appreciate it so much, you don't even know. I'll repay you soon I promise'

'No, please, it's not-'

'No, Y/n I will. You're being really good to me right now and I'm so grateful. I'm sorry for putting you through this while you're off from work and with friends. It's worth to me that your listening and understanding'

You're tired. You want nothing but for him to stop talking. So you smile again and shake your head.

'I'm sure your friends are waiting, I won't keep you. I'll see you soon though!'

And with that he leaves. Back to the lobby where you see him take the woman by hand once again. You watch again as they walk to the elevators, stepping in and disappearing when the doors close. You watch the floor number rise.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5…

You walk back to your laughing friends before you can see where they got off.

***

Retiring to your shared hotel room with Chaeyoung, you fall back first into the crisp sheets and mattress.

'Why're you so depressed dude, did Mingyu say something to you?' She asks, a slight line forming between her brows.

'I'm fine, I've been up since 5 today it's just fatigue hitting me right now' you reassure, like always. 'I might not go to dinner with you guys, might end up with my face in the soup at some point'

Chaeyoung hums. ‘Take the night off so you can gear up for the rest of the week. I'm letting you off for now but I expect full attendance for eveything else we do', finishing with a mocking stern look.

'Yes ma'am' you feign salute from the bed, mimicking her stern tone.

You've known Chaeyoung for quite a while now, meeting her in your last year of uni. Trusting her as you do, you were never fully able to fess up about your feelings for Mingyu. Fear of judgment wasn't the problem, but more so the strange feeling of shame that overcomes you when you think about talking about it with other people. It's quite beyond you, why you act this way. You loved your friends and you knew they would support you with everything, they'd proved it when you'd made one of the most difficult decisions of your life while leaving your job. But the idea of having the audacity to love someone who could never do the same seemed like a feat of embarrassment.

Who are you, y/n? Who are you to have foolish dreams of a girl in love? With someone clearly fit for all things greater than you?

Maybe this was a good thing, you thought, the weird feeling in your stomach returning. Maybe this was the universe telling you to give up and move on, a kind of rejection that keeps your dignity. This was nothing but a reality check, a sign from whatever wants best for you, to bring your attention back to what brought you to Mingyu in the first place.

***

You didn’t see Mingyu for the rest of the trip, which you were grateful for not knowing how you’d react if you had to see him so soon after, that.

Back massaged and head clearer than it had been for weeks, you feel more in control of your feelings and thoughts regarding your life. You hope the conversation with Mingyu was the last stressful thing you’d encounter for a while.

It’s almost comeback season, you realise as you see the new concept photos while scrolling on your couch at home. This meant insanely early mornings for weeks on end, but you had to push through for your own sake. You’d come out of multiple comebacks needing a brace for a month but you wouldn’t trade it for the world. Never realising the true meaning of learning through experience, you were enlightened as you entered this new, very hands on field. The concept looked interesting, hoping the scraps of makeup you’d be allowed to do would be fun for you.

That ended up being true when you were, for the first time, asked to do Hoshi’s full makeup for their first comeback broadcast.

Your stumped silence was short lived as you hastily oblige and get the chair ready for him. You’d looked at the demo sheets and face charts too much for someone who wasn’t actually going to be asked to do much, but you see it pay off as you finish his eyes and get started on the rest of his face. It was easy for you to zone out as Soonyoung had passed out not even 5 minutes in, having someone hold his face as you worked.

You felt your chest swell with an indesipherable feeling as you watched him get up with your mastery on his face; pride, was it? You were getting emotional for no reason. Your attention, however, is moved sharply when you hear someone tell Mingyu it was his turn, finding him plopped on your chair staring straight into nothingness as he’d just been rudely awoken from his nap. He doesn’t realise it’s you for a solid minute as he tried to remember his own name.

‘Oh, hello’ he says, sort of confused. ‘Sorry, just give me minute’, he mumbles as he rubs his eyes.

He stretches back onto his seat signalling he’s ready for you to get started. You trying not to feel too much in your stomach as you begin.

You’re powdering his forehead when he says “I know I already said this but I really appreciate what you’re doing”

You know he’s talking about the conversation at the hotel, you were hoping you could avoid it.

“I told you not to worry about it, honest.” You reply, and somehow manage to choke out “It makes me happy that you’re happy”

You can see him trying to fight a smile, “Thank you for saying that”.

You wanted to stab someone. But you opt for gently brushing a base colour across his eyes.

“Do any of us know her, by any chance?” You ask cautiously.

“I dont think so. We met through mutual friends at a Christmas dinner, we didn’t start talking till she had to bring me a bunch of papers I’d left at my mom’s that day.” his face depicts someone reminiscing a fond memory.

It was cute, how it seemed like fate was trying to bring them together. It would've been cuter if you weren’t in a one sided pining with one of the two lovers.

“Well, I hope it works out for the both of you”

No you don’t.

“I hope so too”

You don’t hope that at all.

You felt guilty, feeling all of this. Hated that this was your first response to him wanting to be happy. Never would you have imagined stooping this low, hoping his happiness doesn’t work out for your sake. You’d like to owe it this being your first real infatuation, but you can’t help but wonder if this was really what you thought.

You decided to focus on the good news for today, that you’re finally allowed to do your actual job. You can only hope this wasn’t a temporary advancement, allowing time to tell.

Things remained the same the following day, much to your absolute elation. You were done doing 4 people’s makeup and was just winding down to take a break, quite satisfied with yourself. You observed as the rest of the boys got their hair done and run around, half in their outfits. You stifle a snort as you watch Jeonghan hide Minghao’s socks in his pockets as the boy tried to find them to put his shoes on, the former continuing to sip on his coffee seemingly unaware.

“Y/n, have you seen my socks? The green ones with the leaves on it?” Hao inevitable asks you.

You’re forced to feign confusion when Jeonghan pokes his head behind him signalling you to keep up the charade. He continues to look and you’re just about to have mercy on the poor boy before a to-go cup of coffee is shoved in front of your face.

You look up at the person and it’s Mingyu extending his arm at you expectantly.

“Oh, I didn’t order anything” you start, thinking you’re clearing up a confusion.

“I know you didn’t, got one for you anyway.”

There’s a record screech in your brain as you absorb his words.

“Think of it as me trying to repay the favour”

Oh. I see.

You’re a little embarrassed thinking he’d get one for you in that way, not when he had someone waiting on him. You accept the cup and mumble a thank you as he unexpectedly plants himself on the couch next to you.

“I saw you drinking lattes a lot of the times, so I just got you that. Hope that’s okay”.

Your silent for a moment before replying “Yes!” a little bit too loudly, eyes widening a little realisng your lack of volume control.

He knows your coffee order.

“Yes,” you say again in a normal tone and a slight laugh to cover up your inability to read the room, “They’re my favourite actually”

Kim Mingyu knows you like latte’s. This wasn’t good for your delusional brain.

Your conversation is cut short when the boys are called for roll call before they can prepare for the actual stage. You watch him get up and leave to file into the overstuffed elevators, not before he throws you the most adorable wave you’ve ever seen. You can’t hold back your smile as you wave back and look down at the drink he got you before taking a sip.

***

As it turns out, you did makeup for the rest of their comeback season, and Mingyu, without fail, got you an iced latte every single day before leaving to go on stage.

You tried to get him to stop, but he was rooted in his position and you didn’t have it in you to say no to his pleading eyes. It was a re-charge for you, when you’d seen him break into a happy smile, prominent canines that you’d grown to adore. He’d done more than enough to ‘repay’ you for swearing to secrecy, and you felt like you too, should  should repay him the balance.

So here you were, making banana bread in your kitchen again, careful to remember to crack your eggs on the rim of your mixing bowl instead of slamming them on the counter. You’re stirring the flour in when a classified devious thought occurs to you.

These past two weeks were pivotal for both you and Mingyu, daily coffee’s meant daily conversations, which meant getting to know one another more. You’d exchanged phone numbers in the midst of all of this, to which ensued the agenda of staying up till midnight talking to each other about the meaning of life.

Setting down the whisk, you pick up your phone and sent the text before you chickened out.

[You]: I have a surprise for you.

[You]: You wanna come over? It’s better enjoyed fresh lol

[Mingyu]: Ma’am? 👁👁

[Mingyu]: That sounds a whole lot like a booty call

[You]: *attachment*

[Mingyu]: IS THAT CAKE??

[Mingyu]: omw 😮‍💨

You send the location and set your phone down, a jittery feeling going through your entire body. There’s a spring in your step as you slide the loaf into the oven and set a timer. You turn around your kitchen island and register the pigsty that is your apartment. The girls were over the night before and you had done nothing to enlighten the aftermath, pillows strewn across the entire living room and snack wrappers in places you’re not sure how they landed.

By the time you’re done and spritzed the place with some of your nicer perfumes, your taking the loaf out of the oven and on a rack to cool.

Ever the punctual man, you hear the doorbell ring just as your taking your oven mitts off.

Hoping you’ve done enough to your apartment to save yourself from embarrassment, you collect yourself and open the door for him through your ringcam. He’s barely through when your rushing towards your doorway.

“Hi!”

“Hey,” he grunts as he tries to slip off his shoes.

“‘aight, where’s my cake?” he demands once he’s done giving you a quick hug.

You roll your eyes and usher him to the kitchen, “First of all, appreciate how excited you are to see me, and second, its banana bread not cake, sorry to burst your bubble”

He responds to your grumbling with an “Oh come on, you can't put freshly baked goods on the agenda and expect me to pay particular attention to anything else”.

He has his trademarked grin and cheesy stare out on display like its nobody’s business, you want to slap it off of him in the most loving way possible, but you settle with a tiny “shut up”.

“I brought warm coffee this time, thought it’d go better” He sets the to-go carrier on the kitchen counter, following you to where you were attempting to slice the still hot banana bread on a tray.

“Oh, that was a good idea” you say.

“Where’re your plates and forks?” he asks, pulling out the drawers and cabinets you signal to.

It all felt too domestic for your weak heart to handle. Not to say it didn’t warm you to the core how comfortable he felt in your space, you did, more than you’d care to admit. But he needed to tone it down before you required an organ transplant.

You were seated on the floor, butts parked on floor cushions, backs against the couch. The coffee table held all of your goods while you both argued on which movie to watch.

“I can’t believe you haven’t watched any of the Harry Potter movies! No, we’re watching philosopher’s stone, I don’t care!” You shout in disbelief, already typing it into the search bar on the TV.

“Philly-philo- bro I can’t even pronounce it why would I watch that?!” He yells back, snatching the remote from you.

You’re both a giggling, screaming mess on the floor as you keep trying to steal the remote from each other, not stopping until one of you bumps into the table and you almost spill hot coffee all over yourselves.

You decide to call a truce and pick another movie entirely.

Just as you’re pressing play, Mingyu takes a bite of the still (surprisingly) warm banana bread and you watch as his eyes roll to the back of his head.

“This is so good” He says, his faced furrowed as he goes in for another bite. “Did you lace this with something, why is this so good?”

You’re biting back a snarky remark but you let it rip anyway; “It’s cuz these pretty hands made it”

You splay your hands out in front of your face, like your showing him your rings, fingers wiggling and a cheeky smile on your face.

He looks unimpressed as he scoffs. He swallows before saying: “At least you didn’t call the secret ingredient love or something”

“Excuse you, I’m pretty sure I heard you say that in some Gose episode” You remark.

He turns to you, all smug: “So your saying you watch Gose? Like, regularly?”

You immediately turn away from his taunting smirk, “Sometimes, if it shows up on my home page”

You take a sip of your latte before he asks you another sweat producing question.

“Oh, but you pay attention to me the most don’t you? Don’t you?”

He’s poking fun at you, you know that. But a paranoid part of you can’t help but think he’s onto you and your feelings.

So you say something maybe a little bit below the belt.

“You sure have a knack for seeking validation from the world when you have a partner already giving that to you”

The words tumble out of your mouth before you know it. In your defence, you're doing this for a greater cause, but it's still a relief when you see him comically gasp, hand to his diaphragm.

“Just because your alone in life, doesn’t mean you need to be salty about other people receiving actual love” He spits back.

Your sputtering trying to think of a response. Deserved.

He grabs a slice of the bread and shoves into your mouth to shut you up once and for all. You’re left chewing the mouthful and staring at him in shock.

He giggles and takes a sip of coffee, satisfied with himself. When he sets it down he opens his mouth to speak. Closes it again, like he re-evaluating, and finally decides to say something. He’s serious now.

“Ji Eun and I, decided it wasn’t gonna work out between us”.

Oh.

“Oh.”

He blows a raspberry and lets out a meek laugh.

“Yeah, oh. It’s whatever, it wasn’t meant to work out. Better sooner than later.”

You’re trying to find the words to reply or comfort him.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” You ask him, being careful to not lace your voice with pity, but more neutral and open. “You don’t have to, obviously, but it might be better to talk about what’s bothering you”

He pauses for a moment before starting.

“She wasn’t sitting very well with the idea that she had to share me. Like at all. She wouldn’t say it but she’d get mildly infuriated when I’d blow the fans a kiss or something, or interacted with the staff too much. I was getting home quite late certain days during comeback season and I’d find her outside the dorm at like 11 PM. It was embarrassing when all of the other members would see her there, obviously upset and basically yelling at me for, for - for literally just doing my job.I guess all the smaller things just started piling and she couldn’t take it. I tried so hard to make sure she felt wanted and secure in the relationship but nothing felt like it was ever enough. She was evasive or confrontational all at the wrong times and it came to a point- its a horrible thought to have in a relationship - but I was terrified she’d do something rash and I’d wake up to my face on articles for some reason - again”

You recollected the past couple years when Mingyu was thrown around in the media for a new accusation seemingly everyday. You weren’t involved with anything regarding the industry back then, but you’d heard enough news to be aware of what was happening.

Your heart swelled with sadness as you heard him talk, he sounded like he was trying- trying hard to be good enough. All for a person who seemed to have their priorities set somewhere else.

“She was amazing; kind and happy and confident. She treated my parents with respect, she was best friends with my sister. I know we only lasted like 3 months but at some point I really considered that she could be the one. But then the problems started and I realized she was only becoming an added factor to stress and anxiety for me more than anything else.

“I liked her because she was so family oriented, and I thought that was what would fit me because I’m like that too. But, I guess I’m just a different kind of oriented? I don’t know. I have a job that’s both interpersonal and unpredictable. There’s days where I don’t wanna get up and do work but I still love it nonetheless. I guess she just expected me to have a predictable, stable 9 to 5. Home in time for dinner, not requiring interaction with too many people; basically everything I can’t be.”

He’s silent for a moment.

You start talking after a couple beats.

“I really hope you aren’t taking this like it’s your fault. She made a choice to put up with your work, knowing how it would be for the both you. You tried your best but she made you feel like your best wasn’t good enough. I dunno about you, but that sounds like a really problematic conclusion. If she truly cared for you and what you love, she would never have been this unsupportive or not understanding”.

He’s listening to you, his expression is blank but you can tell he’s absorbing your words.

“I’d like to think I had realized that. But being completely honest, I’m not really sure when my thoughts go back to me thinking I’m the problem all the time.”

He manages a smile, a wide one, as he looks up to make eye contact with you; “But I know it’ll take me some time to really start believing that it’s not entirely my fault. We just weren’t compatible, and that’s fine. We left on good terms, and I’m happy about that.”

You smile with him as he finishes, but your a little confused when he starts sliding closer and down the cushions.

He sets his head on your shoulder.

You may have shortcircuited right then and there.

“Is this okay?” he asks you quietly, attention finally diverted to the half played movie.

You realise he asked you a question and you have to answer.

“Yeah, this is fine” You breathe out, somehow, by the graces of God himself.

No, you weren’t fine at all. You felt like the universe had flipped a faulty switch, mixed up the scripts, lost the plot, something. But as you get used to the weight of Mingyu’s head on your shoulder, you pray it won’t come back to haunt you in another chapter.

***

Your routine became inverted in the sense that, what you once had to plan out so intricately, is unfolding with no effort from you at all.

You find that Mingyu waits for you to be done with somebody else so you can do his makeup, instead of sitting on another free chair. He’d come to you specifically to touch up his makeup instead of going to an artist he saw closer to him. He never forgot to get you a coffee whenever it was that he saw you.

Mingyu hadn’t slept over that night, instead leaving in his car despite the 1 AM drizzle and your insistence for him to stay until the pour recedes.

Maybe it was better for you that he hadn’t stayed that night. Something about how you grew so close ‘organically’ made you feel like this wasn’t all in your head, that he’s choosing to be your friend.

You’re handing him his clothes as he begins to change, using the excuse to whisper to him;

“I was gonna try a new brownie recipe tonight, if you’re free you can come over?”

“I think I have somewhere to be after this but I’m free after, How’s 6?”

So there you are, back in your kitchen folding chocolate chunks into your brownie batter while waiting for Mingyu to get here.

Your phone dings from the island and you check to see a message from Mingyu sending you what looked like a grocery list; pasta, oregano, garlic…

[Mingyu]: Tell me what you don’t have from this

[Mingyu]: I’m at the store rn hurry up

You send him a list of what you don’t have, realising he intended to have dinner with you too.

[Mingyu]: k thanks

[Mingyu]: be there in like an hour

There’s a warm feeling that’s swelling in your chest, that makes you wanna punch a wall because your so happy. You choose self control, mostly because this apartment is on a lease but also you’d probably break your knuckles trying to punch anything harder than a foam mat.

By the time Mingyu’s here, the brownies are in the oven and you’re almost done with the icing. He unpacks the groceries (and the warm lattes) he bought while you finish up, confirming that he was trying a new pasta recipe tonight. Setting the brownies and coffee down on your usual coffee table, you decide wait a couple hours before starting on making dinner, instead choosing to hear him ramble about an idol he met at an award show.

“So, we start talking before we’re ready to go up- you weren’t there you were working on wonwoo’s makeup- and he starts complimenting me and so obviously I start complimenting him back”

He’s waving his arms around, and setting positions with coasters on the table trying to explain the setting.

“He asks me if I have a sister and I’m like… yes? Which I should’ve realised where this was going because he then” - he pauses to take a deep breath - “this absolute asshat decides it’d be funny to ask me for her number because apparently ‘if you’re this hot, I’m sure any sibling you have is too’ BRO, WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SAY THAT - how are laughing at this?!”

You calm yourself down for a second to clarify, “NO! It’s just hilarious how he thought that was okay to say”

You’re still still giggling in shock when Mingyu calms down, now also laughing incredulously.

“But actually though, please tell me you smacked him” you manage.

“I would have,” he grumbles “I got called to fix my hair cuz I ruined it or something”.

“Oh well, now you know who to avoid next time,” you say as you guide a bite of brownie into his mouth, “Forget about it now, eat sugar, it’ll help”

He chews a bit before swallowing, all while you’re watching him with an endeared smile on your face.

“Y’know, I really thought you didn’t like me when you first joined the team”

You pause mid sip of your coffee, brows furrowed, “What do you mean?”

“You never really talked me, did you? You were friendly with the rest of them but it just seemed like you never wanted to enter a room if you saw me there”

You’re looking at him in utter shock, this man was mistaking your avoidant (yet also pushy) teenage crush behaviour for dislike.

He’s looking at you expectantly, a little pout on his face.

“I never disliked you, why would you think that? I promise everything was a coincidence, it was nothing like that”

“Don’t get so defensive, kinda obvious you like me now if not before” He laughs at your panicked expression.

He meant platonic like.

“I’m sorry I made you feel like that though, I’ve been told I have a pretty serious resting bitch face, it’s gotten me in trouble before” she smile sheepishly.

“It’s fine, you made up for it with that first banana bread” He says before taking another bite of brownie, “Could use more chocolate chunks”

You snort before pushing him with a sock clad foot, “Appreciate me even giving them to you” 

You fall back to the adjacent sofa.

It’s quiet for a moment. But you feel like something’s shifted in the air.

You watch as he brings his hand to the same foot, holding onto your ankles. He’s caressing the exposed skin with his fingers, moving them back and forth. His eyes are glued to yours, looking like he’s in a trance. You’re not sure how to register this new change in mood, suddenly feeling like you need to turn the aircon on during the bleak Seoul winter. Just as you're hoping you don’t start sweating, you feel his vice grip on your ankle pull your leg over with a sharp tug. You scream as you lose support of the sofa and fall back.

You sit up in shock to find him leaning with his elbows on the floor, cackling like madman.

“Mingyu, what the fuck?”

“You-” He stops to laugh again, “You should’ve seen your face, PLEASE, it was hilarious”.

You huff before getting up shoving his shoulder with your foot again, “You’ve been playing guest a little too long, maybe it’s time you get started on that pasta”

“Will I be blessed enough to be receiving her highness’s help?” He asks.

He looks like a dream, clad in his T-shirt because he claims he doesn’t get cold. Hands behind him on the floor to give him support as he stares up at you, smiling wide. He’s looking at you with eyes full of stars and glitter.

You muster up the courage to give him a nasty glare, to which he huffs at and gets up, “Such a meanie”.

It’s hard to conceal your smile as his back his turned, sachaying towards the kitchen. You want to slap him and kiss him at the same time.

Your washing veggies in the sink when you turn around catch sight of his back as he stood at the kitchen island, sorting the rest of the ingredients. You get the same overwhelming feeling in your chest again, assuming you’re deluding yourself into thinking this is what life could be like with him. In less than 3 seconds, you’ve conjured a timeline of domestic routines, to wind down with him like this every evening.

You’re still lost in thought, still incessantly staring when he turns around and catches you in the act. He does the rude thing and snaps his fingers in front of your face to pull you out of your thoughts, “You okay?”

“Yeah” You say trying to gloss it over while busying yourself trying to find your cutting board.

“Are you sure? Do you wanna sit down at the island and watch me instead. You don’t have to help -”

“Pick a knife, and shut up dingus, it’s fine”

Once your both done eating and cleaning up, Mingyu hugs you goodbye, not before asking if you’d be free for lunch next week before he got busy the following month. You quickly agree, setting a date and time, bidding your (reluctant) farewells.

***

Once back in your apartment you realize how you can’t clean up to distract yourself because Mingyu took it upon himself to clear the space with you before he left. You sigh loudly and retire into your bedroom where you don’t have to think about how empty your living room is.

Changing into your pajamas and putting a headband on, you don’t even feel like turning your music on to do your night routine. You double cleanse, tone, serum, acid and moisturise your face with added purposefulness, taking note of the crevices of your nose and the neglected bottom of your chin. Taking extra time to make sure all of the foam is out of your skin before drying your face with a tissue.

You look at your fed skin in the mirror, and feel a weird surge of tears well in your eyes. Before they can fall you slam your bathroom cabinet to busy yourself to find your melatonin gummies, shoving them in your mouth before switching off the bathroom light and retiring to your bedroom.

Slipping the headband off and sliding into bed, you’re still chewing your gummies to a paste in your mouth. Trying not to notice how heavy you’re breathing you try to find your white noise machine, the one you found advertised for infants, and turn it on before grabbing your book to read for a few extra minutes.

Your staring at the pages like you found them to be blank. You’re phone dings next to you, signalling a notification.

Picking it up you find your mental health app sending you a daily reminder.

You’re allowed to feel your emotions.

***

Winter had run its course as you find yourself in April. You never really liked the cold, having been more sensitive to a gust of wind than the average joe, you were better suited to sitting with an aircon instead of being unable to move in the middle of Korea’s January cold rush. But alas, the cherries are blossoming and your fingers have defrosted.

That isn’t what’s on your mind right now though, as you’re standing in a Sephora, arms crossed and shoulders tense. You loved shopping for makeup, but you mostly chose to do it online unless you really had to otherwise. Parking yourself in the perfume section with the scents mixing together a cocktail of nosehair doom, you really wish you’d worn a face mask. Not to mention the migraine inducing coloured lights and mainstream pop playing in the background (you swear they’ve been playing Side to Side by Ariana Grande on loop since you got here).

These were all, however, peripheral observations for you, as you stare in absolute pneumonic shock at the number written on the price tag of the perfume you’re looking at.

Now, Mingyu is a man of class, high maintenance if you will. You’re well aware he likes to spoil himself, because he has a bank account to back it up.

Your bank account is definitely full and secure, but not enough for you to justify dropping what seems like half of its contents to something only one of the five senses can experience.

Mingyu mentioned in passing how he wanted this perfume a while ago, and knowing that he hadn’t ordered it for himself just yet, you decide to be the amazing friend that you are and surprise him for his birthday.

You may be regretting that right now, but you tentatively pick up the blue, crystalline bottle and spritz a bit on a paper strip before taking a whiff. It smelled good, that’s for sure, and it suited him too. So when the saleslady came to offer assistance, after you excused the last three, you decide you’re going to do this for him.

“Yes, could I have this in the box please?”

Walking back to your car you feel a bount of jitter run through you,

Oh, he’s gonna freak out when he sees this.

He did, in fact, freak when he saw it, and his reaction made you want to give him all of the good things in the world if you could see him like this all the time.

He’s smiling ear to ear and speaking in that high pitched voice that he gets when he’s excited. He’s thanking you over and over again, smoothing the box over in his hands repeatedly, looking at the ‘from: y/n :p’ with hearts in his eyes.

“I’m gonna save this for the rest of my life” he says, with determination and a goofy grin.

You snort at the declaration, “Sure, bud”

“I’m serious. What, you wanna bet?” he replies, taking a sip of his, latte, which you proudly credit yourself for swerving him over from Americano’s.

He insisted on going out to eat at this fancy French place a day before his actual birthday as he’d be busy on the day of, but it was risky for him to be seen eating out alone with a young woman at such a fancy place. You settled for a nicer traditional Korean restaurant, that allowed you to book a room away from possible prying eyes and one that you were both comfortable with. You decided to wait till you were back in the car with your post dinner coffee’s to give him his present.

“I’m giving you 3 months before that bottle’s dry to the dregs” You affirmed, “You smell like you empty half a bottle of something off your dresser everyday anyways”

You said it as an insult, but jokes on you because you loved the way he smelled.

“Fine, I’m gonna use this so carefully I’m not replacing it for at least a year”

“A year? What happened to the rest of your life?” you refute.

“I have you for that, don’t I”

What the fuckity fuck.

He’d turned to you, leaning on the headrest, that signature cheesy look; like he was in love or something. Voice dropping a couple octaves as he said it, laced with something defined and strong - enough for it to feel like the weight of an elephant had dropped on your chest.

You gather yourself after looking at him for a couple seconds, jaw unhinged and forgotten on the floor of his car. You chose to grab your cardigan that was neatly folded on the dash, and astral project it to his face across the seat. He’s laughing so hard there’s tears glistening in the corner of his eyes. He falls forward and you see strands of his hair fall to his face, he’d been growing them out.

“Shut up” you grumble in your seat, annoyed at how easy it was for him to send your heart through and beyond your chest.

He’s still giggling like a school girl, and you cave and give him a hint of a smile.

“There it iiiis” He announces, grabbing your face and smushing your cheeks together.

For a moment, he stops to look at you like this, like he’s contemplating. For one, brain rattling, organ exploding, microsecond, you think he might even kiss you.

Instead, he headbutts you slightly rubbing his head swiftly before letting go.

“I might need to wash my hands, I think I got your makeup on me” He mumbles, looking at his hands like a child with mud soaked palms.

“Serves you right, you buffoon,” You remark as you pull out your trusty travel pack of makeup wipes.

Yanking one out of the tab, you pull his hand over and try to wipe the remnants of foundation off, starting from the heel up to each individual finger. It’s silent as you concentrate on getting it all off both hands, he was wearing black tonight and knowing him he’d rub his hand over his pants and get beige foundation all over. You knew because you’d seen him do it one too many times.

“All done” you quip, looking up and catching his stare. He’s smooth to slowly look away and retract his open hands from your lap about 5 seconds after it became noticeable.

You busy yourself by attempting to stash away the wipes to throw out later, closing the pack of wipes and shoving them back into your bag.

He’s watching you do all of this, his stare is burning holes into the side of your head. He’s desperate to say something, but you’re not sure if you want to hear.

“Let’s go back to my place. We’ll stick a candle into a sheet brownie and call it your birthday cake. Oh, we can pick up ice cream too!”, You say, costuming your voice to sound unaffected by his vibe.

And so you did stick a candle in the fresh batch of brownies you both made at 11PM, two hours before his actual birthday. Sitting across from each other on the counter, Mingyu has his eyes closed shut, hands clasped, wearing a ridiculously coloured ‘BIRTHDAY BOY’ headband you found somewhere deep in your drawers.

“You’re gonna get wax on the brownies and they're gonna be inedible, hurry up” You groan, after everytime it seems like he’s done, he clenches his eyes shut again as he remembers another thing he has to wish for.

You’re not actually annoyed, he looks the cutest he’s ever looked, but you would appreciate non waxed brownies.

When he’s finally done, he blows out the singular candle and you clap lightly, “yay!”

You’re pulling out the candle and grabbing forks, dumping a couple scoops of ice cream on before you two start eating straight out of the pan.

Its a collection of groans as you both collapse on your couch, regretting eating all that so soon after dinner. He changed out of his dinner outfit to a T-shirt and pajama pants, he’d started keeping a set of clothes in his car when it started to become routine for him to spend regular  evenings after work at your place.

You’re in your own unicorn pajama’s, slumped over on the arm rest slightly. You feel Mingyu scooch over to put his head in your lap, claiming he was “closing his eyes for a minute”.

You knew how lightning fast he passes out, so not even 5 minutes later you start to hear his light snores. As much as you want to wake him up to move him to the bed, you know he can’t stay the night. His birthday meant he had to be with the boys, and needing to head out early tomorrow.

So you give him 10 more minutes, fingers tracing the shape of his features, in his soft hair massaging his head with your nails slightly. He had a little pout on his face as he slept. Things had been hectic for him lately, having a comeback later in the month and the plethora of music and variety shows to follow.

Mingyu had been writing lyrics on the kitchen island one day, sputtering random words as you quipped in rhymes of your own without context, stirring the pot of soup on the hob at the same time.  

One particular rhyme you spew out catches him off guard and he barks out a laugh at the ridiculous combination.

“I should put you on song credits for this”

“What do you think my producer name could be?”

He thinks for a second, “Banana bread sounds stupid, um, how’s brownie?”

“Cute, and serious enough” you agree, “I’ll be expecting to see my name on that album, sir”

Snapping out of your thoughts, you turn your attention back to the sleeping man curled up in your lap. You wonder if you could fall asleep on the couch too, keep him here with you for the night. Be a little selfish. It’d be nice, making waffles for breakfast when morning comes. But he needed to be at the dorm in the morning, the boys knew where he was but managers that’d come pouring in at 7 AM sharp, did not. And it was best kept that way. The last thing Mingyu wanted, you knew, was people getting the wrong idea. The thought stung a little bit, but you knew not to mix your hopes with what reality was giving you.

So you gather the courage to slowly reign him back from dreamland.

***

Your sitting with Mingyu and Seungkwan on the couches outside the dressing rooms, a little bit before they have to go to perform. You were done with your agenda and was waiting for them to start filing out before beginning to pack up.

“No, because why does he get to eat all the good stuff right out the oven and we don’t, that’s not fair” Seungkwan complained loudy to you, a mildly offended look on his face.

“Stop being such a complain bot, you’re never happy if I have nice things” Mingyu retorts, increasingly nasty looks being exchanged for an argument about freshly baked goods.

“Oh, I’m the hater?! Let me jog your memory, who was the one sulking and shoving me around when Y/n wouldn’t let you-”

Mingyu had jumped up and pulled Seungkwan into a headlock, his poor Americano half flying across the hall as he yells out in disarray.

“YAH!” cued with more noises of struggle and muffled threats.

You chose to embrace the violence by sitting in your seat and laughing as Vernon recorded their antics from the doorway inside eventually circing them for his supposed cinematic effect, catered for the inevitable weverse post that was to come.

Cut to them apologizing and cleaning up the mess of coffee and disregard.

You decide to be nice and attempt to make peace by reassuring Seungkwan, “Come over after you’re done promoting this week, I’ll make up for all the bread and cookies you missed out on”

“If you've finished with your escort duties Y/n, could you please come in and do your day job?”

The voice came from the doorway of the dressing room, your senior makeup artist standing there with her usual mildly inconvenienced expression. It took you a minute to fully understand what she meant by that sentence, your body completely still.

“Offended? What, like I’m wrong?”

You were no stranger to insulting behaviour in work places, but they’d always been revolving around your actual job description. People who didn’t like you knew they had to be smart on how they treated you regardles.

This was different. This felt like you were projected back in time to your solemn middle school days to mean girls taunting you about your spongebob socks, except multiply that by about a thousand.

You feel your stomach begin to churn as that nauseous feeling of shame began to settle itself into your veins.

You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting there but when she slightly raises her voice; “Are you getting up or not?” your hands actively begin to tremble the slightest amount.

You’re making moves to get up by puting your coffee cup down, not knowing what to do except follow commands.

Your interrupted by a voice from behind; “She’s coming in, give us a minute”

Mingyu’s standing there, his expression stoic as Seungkwan and Vernon looked as stunned as you felt. You don’t register it in the moment, but the people in the hall, venue staff and those for other artists have also silenced, watching the scene unfold.

Her lips are in a tight line, her expression remaining irritated as she steps back inside the room.

You realise you need to do something to diffuse the escalated situation. Letting out a breathy laugh, you get up and tell them that you’ll be going inside, trying to keep your expression pleasant and unaffected, not waiting before turning around to spare them the burden of a response. People get yelled at everyday, and this is no different. You aren’t gonna be the one to make a scene out of a regular occurrence.

You know what's coming when you get inside, she’s waiting as she pulls you aside.

“Your behavior has been quite concerning recently, let me remind you of your place here and what you were hired to do. You've been dilly dallying with people who aren't even your friends, and its quite funny that you’d think they are. It's time to wake up from wasting your time making heart eyes at men who are way out of your league. I won't tolerate any more nonsense from you, and trust I won’t be this nice or forgiving the next time this happens”

You choose to nod your head.

“That’s another thing, use your own words. Don’t think other people are gonna be there all the time to speak for you” She spits out, her professional front slowly eroding the more she spoke.

“Yes, ma’am” You say, hoarse voice.

“Louder, next time”, she stalks out as majority of the people in the room also begin to leave for the filming downstairs.

You’re left standing awkwardly in front of the racks of clothes, trying to digest what just happened to you. Looking around the room, you try to figure out what your supposed to do.

Clothes on the couches, eyeshadow brushes on the floor. There’s a torn sponge resting underneath one of the chairs, a couple styrofoam boxes left on the tables from lunch.

There’s so much for you to do, you arent sure how you thought you had time to sit down and chat. But you’re not sure where to begin either. The room is a mess of smells and colours even without the buzzing noise of people getting ready. Tears begin to form as you try to navigate what you’re supposed to do, realising you can’t possibly find a starting point for any of this mess. Before you have time to think of anything else, a hand is holding onto your wrist, small and soft.

It’s Yoona, another one of the makeup artists.

“Y/n, I think it’s best if you go home, it’s been tiring.”

“But-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll handle her. Just trust me. Go home you’ll feel alot better”

She notices you hesitate for a second, and goes in to give you a hug.

It felt nice, to be hugged by a friend. For some reason, it didn’t feel like she was pitying you, her expression and aura reassuring you that you didn’t have to stand here alone.

“Whatever happened today shouldn't have happened, but you don’t need to think about that right now. Go home and do nice things for yourself, we’ll figure it out later. You have my number, give me a text once you get home. We can go out later if you want, when I get off work, to get your mind off things”

You’re not sure how you’re holding back the waterpark that has become of your tearducts as you hear those words from an unsuspecting friend, you nod with a smile. You feel a little more calm.

You can’t tell if you care enough to consider the consequences of your senior finding out how you’re doubling or nothing on your already posed humiliation. But the only thing you can think of right now is your bed and the ceiling you’d stare burn holes into.

So you, for the first time in a while, chose to choose yourself by picking up your satchel and leaving the chaos behind you as you walk to your car.

***

Just because you were brave where it mattered most doesn’t mean you weren’t allowed to cry.

You had come home, shot Yoona a brief text, and promptly began to sob the absolute Nile into your sheets.

You had never cried like this before, loud wracked sobs coming from a place in your chest you had locked away during a time you couldn’t even remember. You’re breathing after every choked cry is a sputtered intake of life, only to spit it back out as you let out another sob of what sounds like agony. There’s nothing in your head, nothing but the words that were spoken to you as echoes of your own mind. Hypocritical of you to hate them when the same words circled in your head like a mantra every cursed, unfortunate day. She had done you a favour, by spitting out the truth you’d stewed, chewed and kept in your mouth ever since you got here. This was a you problem, to believe that you were capable of things beyond your bracket. You were told by the universe, screamed at by the world, that this was never meant for you, and you chose to ignore it. You chose to be stubborn. You brought this misery upon yourself.

Once you’ve disposed your body weight of tears and snot and burden, you’re left to stare at your innocent sheets now stained with mascara and your sorrows. You crawl into your covers and rest your muscles for a few seconds, head empty. You aren’t sure when you drift off, but you're glad that you do.

You don’t dream for once.

***

You wake up feeling like you drank a gallon of water and went to sleep. Your eyes, nose and throat feel like they’ve been over watered yet dry at the same time. You don’t realise what’s really arising pangs of irritancy in your brain once you figure out the consistent sound is a door bell. You’re doorbell, of the house that you live in.

You’re slow to push yourself up, realising your slept in your day clothes. It’s dark out but you're not sure what time it is, and quite frankly, you can’t say you care enough to check. You need to silence your doorbell first, which can only be done by silencing whatever hell sent individual was playing drums on the button outside.

It’s a record screech in your brain as you peer through your peephole and realise who the aforementioned hell sent individual was.

Mingyu was outside your door.

You don’t realise you look like you crawled out of a sewer till it’s too late and you’ve already opened the door through muscle memory. Mingyu was always welcome in your space.

He was in casual clothes, his hair pushed back from the guessed hands that ran through it, but he was still in stage his stage makeup.  

“Oh, were you sleeping?” He asks, eyes a little wide, expression cautious.

“Yeah.”

“I’ll go then, you weren’t answering your phone for anyone and you told Yoona you were home but you weren’t opening the door, i was worried. Sorry I ringed it so much I probably should’ve assumed-”

He stops to look at you, and it’s like realizes something before he finally says; “Just wanted to make sure you were okay, I’ll see you around. I’ll leave you alone”

“Wait,” you croak out, licking your lips, conscious of your morning voice, “Can you stay? Please? If you can.”

He stops to look at you, expression changing from sheepish to defensive.

“No! I mean, yes. Yes. I’ll stay. I’ll stay for as long as you want”

You let him in as he slips off his shoes and you lead him to the living room. His presence in the familiar place seems like it last happened eras ago, when he was only here maybe a week prior.  

“You know where everything is, I’ll be back gimme like 5 minutes”

You’re scared to look at yourself in your bathroom mirror, so you don’t, and choose to scrub your face looking down at your sink. You change into a sweatshirt and trouser loungewear set, deciding to save your dignity a little bit further as you brush your hair and clip it back with a claw clip.

You take a breath before entering the living room again.

He’s sitting on the floor in your usual place, two steaming mugs on the coffee table, the tabs hanging out of the cup. He made you tea.

You sit down next to him, not really prepared for what you should be saying.

“How long has she been speaking to you like that?” He asks you quietly.

“She was always kinda itchy and uptight and stuff but, it was never like this” You say.

“Regardless, whatever that was, it was, wrong, uncalled for, all of those things” He says, sputtering a little bit.

He stops and sighs. It’s silect for a minute before he turns in his seat to face you, grabbing your folded legs and pulling you to face him too.

“Yoona heard everything she said to you after you went in, she heard it all. And she knows about some other stuff too. If you think, even for a second, that I’m not your friend, I might actually think there’s something wrong with you.

“If everything we’ve been through this past, almost a year, doesn’t amount to us at least being friends then I don’t know what it means to have one at all. You’re the first person in a while I’ve been able to be this open with. You know me better than most people, you’ve seen me at my worst and at my best. I’ve let you read me all you want, because I know I can be an open book if it’s you. I trust you more than I can trust myself sometimes, and I really wish you would trust me too.”

You’re watching him as he says all of this, you look up to make eye contact a couple times, and he’s looking at you everytime you lift your head.

“I do trust you. Probably more than anyone else. It’s myself I don’t trust. It’s hard for me to open up, I’m scared I’m gonna say something that’ll scare you away. And, I just thought maybe she was right today, that I need to realise that it can’t be that way between us, I have a job to do”

“What can’t be between us?”

“I like you, Mingyu. Like, I’m basically in love with you and have been since I fucking met you. I couldn’t believe that you could possibly be friends with someone like me, a confused, all over the place airhead who can’t tell right from left sometimes, forget you ever liking me. All that happened is that we became friends and I thought that this was as far as fate was gonna push us. All today told me was that … that was an overextension too. It was a wake up call that I can’t have everything in life. Things were going too well for us and I was letting myself think it could stay that way forever. I’m sorry for being this way, I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable and out of place. This is the last thing you’d want to hear from a friend and I’m sorry I’m putting you in this situation right now and that you had to go through that today-”

You don’t finish what your saying because you're interrupted. Interrupted by arms pulling you forward and into Mingyu in front of you.

Your both sitting in your living room at 3 AM, on the floor in front of your sofa like you both have so many times. Except now, Mingyu is holding you in his arms, and kissing you so delicately it hurts.

It’s warm, like getting into bed after a long day, the scent of home and security engulfing you as you begin to forget about the qualms of life.

He’s moving his lips slowly, with care and a feeling so overflowing you can’t describe.

He lets go slowly and rests his forehead against yours, his arms are around you tight, legs wrapped around your entire body so you can't escape - physically or mentally.

“You dumbass” You hear him say.

“I love you,Y/n. More than anything. And I need you to know that you don’t have to hide. If you think your thoughts are a burden then I want to carry it for you. I want you to realise you’re not alone. I want you to stop pushing me away. Everytime I want to do something nice for you, you try to push the effort to something else, everytime I try to take care of you, you have this look that makes me think you feel guilty for taking up my time or something. Everytime I think you’re about to ask me to stay the night, you remind me I have priorities and I should go, even though I know you want me to stay with you. I want you to stop caring so much for how other people feel and realise you can demand the same from the universe too. You deserve love and to be treated with care. You need to let people do that for you, love.”

Your looking at him now, your turn to have stars in your eyes.

He loves you.

And you feel it. You feel it in his words, in his eyes, in the kisses he’s leaving on your face, in his arms that are wrapped around you, ready to shield you from the world.

You don’t say anything as you fall into his chest, head on shoulder, relaxed body in the cage he’s made for you. You close your eyes as the tears are burning down your face. Except, this time they’re because your relieved.

You both got up from the uncomfortable floor and moved to your bed, still tangled within each other as you clarified everything else.

You found out that majority of the people who heard it were very upset at the situation, but didn’t know how to approach or confront her.

Seungkwan almost bust a blood vessel after he had digested what had happened, disbelief and threats on his tongue as he refused to get touched up by her during filming, apparently making a point to walk to somebody else. Seungcheol was thinking of trying to bring up the problem to management, considering how Mingyu too was distracted all the way home.

“The rest of them have gotten quite protective of you too, I think. It’s not like I shut up about you”

Apparently the only reason you were asked to start taking charge on makeup was because some of the other senior artists pressured your mentor to stop restricting you. It made you feel a little more secure that it wasn’t just you that felt pushed down.

She didn’t like that you were doing so well, considering it meant she was wrong about you and your abilities. It hurt her ego a little bit that people stopped preferring her to do their makeup or their touchups, how they wouldn’t interact with her the same way.

“Alot coming from a middle aged, married woman, attention seeking like a child” Mingyu added, scoffing with a sour face as he nuzzled into the crown of your head.

“The boys really like you by the way, they’ve been rooting for us since forever” He says, and your heart swells unimaginably so; you felt loved, so so loved.

You scooch up to plant a kiss on the underside of his chin and then one on his lips.

“That makes me happy”

“I’m happy that you’re happy. You deserve to be happy, everyday” He smooches you on the face again. “Oh, and don’t worry about that stinky face I’ll take care of her”

You laugh at the determination in his voice, but you wanted to clarify something.

“Please, let me handle her myself. I’ll ask for help if she’s stubborn but I wanna try by myself first”

“That was hot”

You push his chest away as you bark out a laugh at the random comment, hiding you face, by turning the other way.

He battles that by pull you back into his chest and continuing his atics

“What I can’t call my girlfriend hot. You’re hot. Your the sexiest motherfucker I’ve ever seen” smooch “You’re beautiful” and again  “amazing” and again “gorgeous spectacular-”

You don’t fall asleep until the sun has well made its way up the sky, taking the executive decision to sleep in till way past lunch and maybe even take a nap afterwards.

You don’t care how it goes, because your happy just being with him.

***

You met with Yoona a couple days later at a cafe.

“Seungcheol asked us if we were facing the same kind of behaviour from her too. And everyone told him she was stuck up and rude and stuff. He said he wanted to bring it up to management but it didn’t really concern him directly so they wouldn’t listen. He told us to do so ourselves and we thought about it, but we’re gonna need to tell them about that too”

You nod your head as you listen to her speak, it was making sense.

“I dont mind going up to management at all and talking about it. I get that the rest of the stuff is a little too tame to be considered, which sucks because she shouldn’t be talking to us like that at all”

“Mhm, and I was thinking we could vouch for you on how she was restraining you for almost a year. Basically not letting you do your job. That’d be a another thing for them to think about”

“Yeah. Let’s do it asap, how’s this Monday?”

“Perfect, I’ll add everyone to a group chat and let them know”

And go up to management you did, who were surprisingly understanding. Apparently having received multiple reports and even videos of the most recent incident to act as proof. It was working out for all of you, and it proved to stay that way as they responded with a promise to shift her to a different department.

You had gone home that day feeling fulfilled and relieved. Mingyu, a man with spectacular timing had also proceeded to send you a text as a distraction,

[Mingyu]: Kwan wants to come over

[Mingyu]: something about croissants

[Mingyu]: Should he text you ab it?

[You]: yeah ofc

[You]: I’ll order the butter

[You]: you tell him to text me lol

Two nights ago felt like it happened last year with all the unimaginable advances deciding to happen within the past 48 hours. Right now you were more excited for the company you were about to recieve, more concerned with making sure you made the best batch of croissants Seungkwan ever did see.

***

You were in the car with Mingyu outside the company building, waiting until the clock struck 9 to go inside.

Today was the last day you’d think about this, being called up for a face to face meeting with the staff member, so she could formally apologise. The team had planned a dinner tonight, to celebrate the end of her ‘wicked reign’ as Yoona described it.

You were finding friends everywhere, ones that were always there, pulling through for each other as you yourself navigated a new direction of thinking for yourself. You were learning to walk past your anxiety ridden desire to draw lines with everyone, as you took the first step with the dinner tonight. It would be fun for you, and a bond you’d begin to build.

You learned that you weren’t delusional anymore, and that Mingyu did love you the same. It had only been a week or so, but one of the happiest weeks of your life, despite everything. He was teaching you more lessons than he thought he was.

Mingyu squeezes your hand from the driver’s side as it was past 9, “Let’s go?”

“Lets go”

***

Mingyu’s way too enthusiastic as soon as he wakes up, indulging you in a morning (afternoon) makeout session, claiming he doesn’t care for you morning breath.

“Well I do!” you exclaim, pushing him off with a giggle “About your morning breath, stinky”

He clutches his chest in dramatic offense, “How could you? I thought you loved me”

You respond my projecting a cushion to his face.

“Do you want pancakes or eggs for breakfast?” You ask, legs hanging over the bed.

Mingyu looks up, a wicked glint in his eye, and you immediately know he’s going to say something of no help.

“I want you for breakfast” He says, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you back in bed.

“MINGYU!”

Needless to say, all was well.

[moralofallthestories]

CK s6 part1 spoilers‼️

This is going to be mostly my rant on ep5 and some plots from the previous episodes

- My heart BREAKS for Tory, it’s like the writers just decided to add more on top of the misery from her story last season. S5 the girl broke up with someone she loves and cares about for Kreese’s plan, ended up hurting herself badly and had no one by her side the entire season, and now they just decided to kill off her mom just when her life is starting to get better. What did she do to deserve this??

- Look how quickly Daniel and Johnny moved on to Hawk for their selections literally after they all learned about Tory’s mother’s death, like if you both are such good senseis, wouldn’t it be nice to actually give a shit about Tory and her grief?? Instead of making if about yourself, how about we actually go console her and making sure she’s okay or at least be there? Both of them are such bad mentors for the kids, first is how they handled Kenny’s situation after he got humiliated with the accident, Johnny only spoke up when he’s fighting for Devon and Daniel rlly favors his kids than his other students. If any of these two even showed the same attention and support to Kenny and Tory, I’m sure neither of them would actually quit Miyagi-Do so quickly on the spot. Some sensei they really are huh.

- Robby my man, I get that going to the Sekai Taikai is important for you but are you really gonna do nothing after your girlfriend’s meltdown about her mother’s death? At this point this show’s writing is so bad I don’t wanna hear about any “they probably did this off-screen” kinda bullshit no more. I swear if part 2 has any point of showing him standing on the moral high ground accusing Tory of switching sides like what he did to her in s5 imma riot, cancel my Netflix subscription along with my family plan :))

- Based on s5 and what we’ve seen so far, my headcanon for Robby & Tory is that he’s the one that usually texts her first and he texts more but she’s not good with it, she’s not good with expressing her emotions either so sooner or later they’re gonna face this communication problem in the relationship (of which the problem was clearly shown before in s5 when they “broke up”)

- While the privileged kids talking about their top colleges and applications, what Robby and Tory had was the Sekai Taikai - underdogs in the top 4

- Devon, my girl…not a good decision…why you choose to go on that path

- I can never like Anthony he really gets on my nerves

- Bad writing with all those conflicts overall, hated how they handled Kenny’s character especially trying to embarrassing him for the flag fight. I was hoping to see him and his brother in more action but you can never expect too much from Cobra Kai writers I guess

- The baby storyline continues…the most boring and unnecessary storyline that ruins Johnny’s character as a father and a sensei

- CK really has this type of half assed writing throughout all seasons why am I surprised lmao

The good part:

- Sam & Tory’s reconciliation and their apologies to each other, the sleepover pillow fight was so cute and I love seeing both of them are so done with Johnny’s instigating

- Robby and Tory’s promise of standing together

- How Robby found himself & his confidence again after seeing Tory showed up, this is what partners influence each other

- Robby & Tory’s little nod to each other whenever one of them is fighting someone else, no words but it means so much more

- Johnny & Mike’s fight - it has to be purely a fan service kinda fight but I’ll take it

- Hawk & Demitri’s fight, unnecessary but it surely was entertaining

- Kyler’s redemption, I’m actually happy they didn’t give him a glamorous redemption and try to change him completely to let him join Miyagi-Do, it’s nice to see that his frat boy personality is still there

- Kwon’s fighting skills are some real deal

[yuri-is-online]

TD anon here, I do feel you on the "torture" scene with Taiga, I didn't want my last ask getting any longer lmao.

While the scene definitely made me squeal, for me personally it was undercut by the emotionally charged scene that happened immediately after with Romeo lmao. It's exactly how I felt with Frostheim too, being excited over the dance with Jin, and then immediately after we get the cigarette kiss scene with Jin and Tohma LOL. But it only makes sense, MC has only just showed up at the school, not enough time to bond, and honestly with these kinds of joseimuke games I don't have much expectations of interactions between the cast and MC so in TD she's already much more involved with the whole comic thing anyways.

Eating the Like Dove raw... was really a raw scene lol. He seems to be attracted to blood for some reason? Since he paused when MC's cut started bleeding, I think he was about to lick the blood tbh.

And yeah I do wonder if his shoddy memory has anything to do with his deal's cost. Another vibe theory time, I feel like his fear of the Like Dove might've been... ingrained in him somehow? Maybe he had a run-in before but can't remember it. The reason why I think this is because when MC met him alone, when she reminded him that she was the Honor student, his response was "Oh no wonder I didn't kill you on the spot", he literally forgot about her but his body/instinct made him aware she's someone he's not supposed to kill.... if that makes sense?

He feels like an even bigger enigma than Towa, I'm curious to know what's going on in his head in the moments he goes eerily quiet. Not to mention he's the poster boy of the game, has to be a reason. Luca feels more in line to be the poster boy but it's Taiga...

I enjoyed Haru's drunk spiel about how helpful MC is lol. Also my eyes going wide when Rui said he wants to know what she's made of too... what does that mean....... I need more Rui content, I love his blatant flirtations lol. I got a campus event with Rui, Haru and Romeo in the bar before I even read the chapter, their unexpected friendship is very cute ngl.

(sorry in case this is sent repeatedly, smth wrong with my net atm)

Generally speaking I have found tumblr doesn't post or send things twice but it sure as hell reblogs them with the same tags 42 times making me look like some sort of freak

for me personally it was undercut by the emotionally charged scene that happened immediately after

Yeah I get this. The cigarette kiss with Tohma and Jin took me off guard, but that was mostly because I thought this was an otome game? Come to think of it I don't think we've had confirmation of the whole joseimuke v otome game thing beyond the existence of the like dove and individual character affinity... Well and that when this was announced it was supposed to be an otome game. I know that the otome games subreddit has been having some, shall we say spirited? Discussions lately about how players feel about ros getting into relationships with each other. The general opinion was that a lot of times the ro x ro relationships feel more fleshed out that the ro x mc ones, and I agree. I actually stopped writing something I wanted to be an otome game because the story started shaping up to be more about the mc's mentor than them, and I personally do not think that is very fun. People do like laid back mcs, they do not like mcs who have no place in the narrative, and some writers aren't good at balancing that. TDB mc is doing pretty well when it comes to interactions with the main cast compared to something like Twisted Wonderland if what you want is explicit romance, so far it feels like Season 1 of og Obey Me! from what I remember of that game, so we'll see.

I didn't get the same level of intimacy from Romeo and Taiga as I did Jin and Tohma? But I think that's because in both cases I thought the like dove had appeared before Romeo got there and was talking to Taiga and the second scene made me think Taiga was angry at him for interrupting his "fun." Whatever that "fun" was going to wind up being because yeeeeeah he seems like he has a blood kink of some sort. I think he was going to suck on it and bite her a bit, but licking seems like a logical first step and less influenced by what's wrong with me. Like I said over here the scene with the Like Dove fascinates me... it says more about Taiga than any other character in the game that we get to see the dove twice and that when given the chance he shoots and eats it... if that isn't a metaphor for denial and emotional repression then I am not sure what is.

he literally forgot about her but his body/instinct made him aware she's someone he's not supposed to kill…. if that makes sense?

YES. I wanted to talk about this but it sort of got into conspiracy theory territory and my answer was getting long. I don't know if anyone remembers, but waaaay back in Book 1 when mc tries to escape the school she isn't able to get anyone's attention. It's like they don't see her, is that because of her curse or is it because of preventative measures put in place by the school? I want to lean towards the latter because it makes more sense BUT I also want to be delusional and say that it's part of mc's curse. There's something about Taiga's instinctual fear of the Like Dove and his comments to the mc that make me think his body knows her but his paranoia and memory issues keep him from knowing it.

This is just me writing fan fic... but Taiga is technically the first ghoul you meet. He is the poster boy of the game, he is the first person to bring mc into the main loop and tell her there's a spy. I want so badly for him to have known her at some point but to have been robbed of his memories... Romeo seems to think he is trying to forget stuff on purpose "gone off the deep end" and "escape reality" are both things he says to describe him though granted that last one was due to a misunderstanding about what Taiga was trying to do with the anomaly. Something real bad happened last year, something I feel like Taiga doesn't want to acknowledge unless he can get revenge on whoever caused it. I mentioned in another post, but I sort of want MC to have something to do with Clementia and that's why she's there at the dorm beyond it just being empty due to the clash. (I do get why Luca isn't the poster boy; he's not a dorm captain and those seem to be what the game wants to push. well them and towa lol)

Haru and Rui

Rui is a bar tender who is described as being "popular with the female students" probably because of how flirty he is ha. I love his dynamic with Haru and Romeo, just a barman and his two favorite customers shooting the shit and trying to relax. Rui is cursed to kill whoever he touches, so I think he wants to talk with MC more because he can relate to her in a very unique way. And he got gate kept from doing so by Haku in book one so he's extra curious now. I have his SR so I'll put him on my homescreen for a bit and see what voice lines I can shake out of him. For the little bit I did have him there he called him and mc "curse twins" which I thought was very cute. In a dark sort of way. The entire section at the Obscuary bar endeared me to all three of those idiots.

But especially Haru. He called Peekaboo his child this chapter too ;-; he's such a good dad. I wonder if he is going to show up next books at all? Or if it's going to be like the previous books and we'll instead see Taiga and maaaaybe Towa? Since he's friends with Zenji. Nothing to do but wait for May 0-0

[weebsinstash]

Damn, imagine if all this YT drama was happening when Spot's situation was currently going on too. And, well, since our dimension is fucked and we just seem to jump through dimensions without the watch, what if we end up in Spot's place? (The blank void when he entered one of his own spots).

And, it would be funny to look at him, and for him to look at us and just... stare or wave. He is weird like that, and we are too.

Also, we can start bonding on feeling out of place? Sharing the same experience of everyone leaving us behind/ignoring us. Maybe we can even seek solace in his presence, and in his unique persona (even if he is supposed to be a villain).

And the fact that this is the only place we don't glitch out of? Maybe some bullshit physics as this place literally makes no sense, as well as us. It's like we belong here, with him. He could always teleport us somewhere else, but we look so tired, so pitiful and in so much need of some sort of care... he feels bad for us. And maybe, he can try and convince us to stay with him. After all, he *is* the only one who hasn't turned his back on us, right? He isn't a bad guy like those 'friends' of us were saying!

Meanwhile everything is going to shit in the society's HQ :)

I've actually had a few ideas involving The Spot where he's either the yandere or antagonist or a central character in some way and it's really just a matter of me getting around to. Writing the dozens of things I want to write lmao

But bro your mind 😩 you've just been exiled during the YouTwo incident amd you're glitching and, you know, slowly deteoriating over time, and, suddenly, you're in this weird literally nondescript place where you're suddenly... 'balanced out'? You don't feel like you're being pulled in a bunch of different directions anymore, and you look around and it's just some white void with black dots everywhere that you think you can kind of see and hear things out of if you get close enough, but, first and foremost, is that a person? Spot just like. Is staring at you with this very deer in headlights energy and, you both awkwardly wave to each other, "uhhhhhhh... hi?" "...hiiiii, uh, is this 'your place'? Thank you so much, dude, I've been zipping all over the place, i thought i was gonna die, you saved my life" and maybe you even hug him and he's not sure how to process this because you're clearly a variant of Spiderman but you hold no animosity or hostility towards him whatsoever and 👉👈 this is the most positive human interaction he's had in ages.

Not even his powers, but his knowledge alone would be extremely useful in this scenario because like, he could literally just warp around stealing whatever parts he needed to build something that would "hold you together", given his involvement with Alchemax and the colliders specifically

You're just so understandably and genuinely grateful and Spot feels GOOD about being needed, about being someone's savior. He really had been one of the only ones who could help you and he gets a little drunk off that fact. Whether your glitching is a mutation and is your own power or you're simply some weird anomaly, you two form a kinship, and if it IS some sort of weird ability, maybe he even decides to mentor you a little! Gives him something to do, and it totally isn't to help distract him from how lonely and depressed and miserable he is!

But similar to how the other villains discounted him, you kind of discount him yourself in the sense that you don't see him as a threat. Which, he doesn't necessarily want you to, and it's not some sort of disrespect thing, but, the linger he spends with you, the more he wants you to see him as a man, a man with needs, emotionally, psychologically, physically. Whyd you have to give him all those hugs when he hasnt had human touch in forever, huh?! Don't you know how lonely and touch starved he is?! And you just think you can--can walk away from him? Disrespect him after everything he's done for you, disrespect him like everyone else?

You can always try and 'outrun him' with your little glitching, but, even if you manage to lose him, he'll pick up your tracks again, and one day you wake up from finally crashing from exhaustion to find a pitch black figure at the foot of the bed, slowly pulling in everything around it like some sort of eldritch black hole. And Jonathan menacingly waves to you, "I don't think I'll have trouble keeping up with you this time. I made sure of it"

[yes-i-am-happyaspie]

Joy, what if there's someone else or a family who have similar hair colour and eyes colour see Peter and decided that he belong with their family haha and Tony who heard about that got jealous and declared war to them haha

What if that person/family *was* Tony and it's not until AFTER he has his armor in a twist about it that he figures out it's him. lmao.

Like, one day Peter mentions that there's this person who kinda looks like him and he kinda likes to pretend he's his dad. "Do you think that's weird?"

Tony feels like he's just taken the entire weight of a train to his gut. Because, well- he kinda thinks of Peter as his kid. He knew him first. He called dibs! But Peter looks nervous and a little embarrassed so he forces a smile. "I think as long as that person is good to you, it's fine." But it's a lie. It's a HUGE lie because no one could treat Peter better than he can.

"Well, the thing is- they don't actually know I, uh- think that. They *are* good to me but really, it's just kind of a game I play with them. In my head."

Tony nods, his brain is turning. If he can figure out who this person is, he can ask them to back off. He could let them know the kid has the whole mentor-father figure thing covered. No need to butt in. He clenches his jaw, imagining what that would feel like. "So, is it a teacher or-" He needs to narrow down his options.

"He teaches me stuff."

"Family friend?"

"Kind of. May was a little weird about it at first but he's growing on her."

Great, Tony thinks. If May likes this guy that could create a massive problem because May does NOT like him. She doesn't hate him either but if she had to choose someone for her nephew to internally parentalize? Is that a word? Doesn't matter. If May had to choose. It wouldn't be him. He really needed to track this guy down; maybe find him a job on the opposit side of the planet.

He wants to ask who exactly this person is, but if he's going to declare a secret war on them he needs the Parkers to believe he has no idea who Peter is talking about. So, he doesn't ask. Instead, he spends the next two days coming up with a plan of action. Nothing too nefarious. He comes up with a fake raffle. One that would allow the winner to visit the SI headquarters in China. If that person was then offered a permanent job there with benefits, a sign-on bonus and housing- well, who could give that up?

After that was worked out, he used FRIDAY to narrow down a list of suspects. He made certain to ask Peter about his daily activities, He tried to bring up the mystery person in conversation, hoping to gain some insight. All the while he had FRIDAY analyzing the data.

All of that effort, and by day six he's narrowed it down to two people and neither of them makes sense. Ned's Dad looks nothing like Peter. And that teacher Peter talks about, Mr. Harrington doesn't seem to take an interest in Peter outside of school-related functions.

"Peter- who is this person?" he finally asks, trying and failing to keep the frustration out of his voice.

"What person?"

"The person you see a- the one you pretend is your dad. I've been trying to figure it out and- who is it?"

Peter ducks his head, his lip goes between his teeth and his cheeks turn five sade of red.

"Come on, Pete. It can't be that bad." Horror passes through his brain. "It's not Happy is it?" He can't send Happy to China. If it's Happy he's going to have to live with it. Miserably.

"No!" Peter looks up briefly. "It's- Mr. Stark, it's you."

That tain is back to hit him in the gut again. This time in a good way. "Me? I thought you said May liked this person?"

Peter laughs. "I said they were growing on her."

Tony thinks back. Peter had also said the person looked kind of like him, was good to him, and taught him stuff. He supposed he fit the bill. His chest, and subsequently his cheeks grew warm. "Pete, I-"

"I'm sorry! I know it's weird!"

"Not weird, Buddy. One hundred percent not weird."

"It's not?"

"Nah. Or if it is, then we're both weird because I've been thinking about you as my kid for a while." He grins. "Is this the part where we hug?"

Peter grins too. "I don't know. Are we there yet?"

"Get in here you little punk!" He and Peter fall into each other's arms. They squeeze tightly and smile stupidly. Eventually, Tony glances up at the ceiling. "Hey FRIDAY? Cancel operation 'Three's a Crowd.'"

"Operation what? Peter asks.

Tony yanks Peter's head back down onto his chest and squeezes him a little more tightly. "Nothing. Don't worry about it. Let's just hug it out, then go do some science."

Peter giggles happily. "Sure, Mr. Stark. Let's do that."

[marumarielle]

𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐲 𝐃𝐑 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞 (𝟎𝟎𝟏)

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ regarding this post of mine, I really just made a compilation for funsies. Also. this is not proofread. I'm just rambling here. Most of these details are things I scripted in and I'm excited to experience them tw: none, just messy grammar here and there

my mcu aesthetic

-I actually don't live in the Avenger's Compound/Tower (depending on the era) -Your girlie here lives in the Sanctum Sanctorum -Wong and Dr Strange are my mentors -I can look at the eclipse directly because I can't get blinded by it -Being in Kamar-Taj isn't actually hot, it's pretty breezy to cold depending on the season. But. it also depends on how thick your clothes are. -ALSO, since Kamar-Taj is in Nepal, YOU JUST KNOWWWW I eat a whole lot of Panipuri and Momo (Wong would buy some for me if he's in a good mood) -I made Mordo plus Nightmare the villian instead of Wanda (HIS VILLAIN ARC WAS ROBBED FROM US GRRR) -DR STRANGE FIOEFCWGIUHVJDOIS -Lolol Cloak loves me -I scripted in a whole new school into the MCU because I'm rich (i'm tired of being broke....) -I created my own superhero clothes (Like, actually handmade. No machines or anything.) -I don't go out to fight crime a lot (NYC has a freakton of heroes already, they can do it themselves LMAO) -My room in Kamar-Taj (yes i have a room despite living in the Sanctum) has a window that overlooks the city because yes. -No kidding, the training it takes to be a full fledged sorcerer is like training to be a Navy Seal but with magic because WHAT THE HELL THESE SPELLS ARE DIFFICULT. AND I GOTTA LEARN COMBAT TOO???? -Ofc I gotta be friends with Peter Parker. Oh! And Aunt May loves me -And ofc I'm overpowered -Dr Strange as a mentor is pretty nerve wracking at times -He hates people who are late (ahem.... me) -But he is patient. Just strict. -He'd do his rounds around Kamar-Taj to make sure there aren't lingering or loitering students -Someone give this man a break, he's out there in the multiverse doing the most -Idk where tf this guy places his bluetooth or if it's magic because wherever you are in the Sanctum you could hear his playlist (it can go to those 80s rock to classical music. But, I'm trying to get him to like Laufey---)

Dear God, I did all of this in one sitting.... BUT I WANNA DO IT AGAINN!

[starflungwaddledee]

Okay you gave me permission so now it's time to go fully autistic

*inhale*

So something I'm really interested in (mostly for my Bandee x Marx bias) is that comic with Marx and Bandee interacting, like, what's their relationship in this au, how'd they get to that point and heck, what was even happening? also it kinda seems like Bandee may be the main guy in this au or is just really important which makes me happy as Bandee isn't treated the best by Nintendo at all (hell, Sakrai said he didn't add Bandee into smash because he didn't like him) so seeing Bandee get the spotlight always brings me joy

And about the Meta and Galacta comic, it seems like Bandee plays a factor here too, with the mention of him being what gets the most reaction out of Meta and that makes sense because canonically Bandee is the weakest of the four and most likely to die quite easily, so it would make sense for the others to be protective of him

ALSO META BEING SEALED AWAY AND GALACTA SAYING HE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF, I'M ASSUMING BANDEE, DOES THAT MEAN GALACTA TAKES META'S PLACE??? HELLO???

anyway hi im really invested and also your art is fucking astounding

hell yea, fully autistic! the best kind of message! thank you also for the sweet words about my artwork ahhh! but hoo boy isn't this The Ask Ever. okay, let's get into it!

Bandee is, i think maybe obviously, my most specialist little guy ever and everything i make is likely about him in one way or another. so you're correct that he is indeed the main guy in both these AUs; he is the central protagonist which i think he deserves!!

(but he does also go through the angst blender a bit, just like... a warning. i adore happy endings but before that i do tend to meat-grind my faves pretty well in the drama machine.)

clockwork heart is actually a spin-off of awtdy (we do a little AU-ception in my household) which is our* primary au. (*a lot of my au work and headcanons are fleshed out very collaboratively with my girlfriend! the initial concept for awtdy was her idea, which i then very meanly shoved my bandee-important agenda into lmao)

awtdy sets this basic alternate world-state: during the Haltmann invasion, Galacta Knight defeats Meta Knight in battle and makes a wish on Star Dream to trade places.

this causes all sorts of terrible fun problems for everybody and basically gives rise to a bad timeline that a lot of folks do not come out of intact (rip floralia)

the Meta Knight vs Galacta Knight comic covers an important turning point in the story, where Meta Knight lets slip that he cares about Bandee the way he cares for Kirby. Meta Knight has an especially strong reaction to this for two reasons:

one is because, as you said, of the three remaining heroes Bandee is the most vulnerable-- seasoned and experienced fighter he may be, but against someone like Galacta Knight? 💦 he's still ultimately just a mortal dude. this obviously puts him at terrible risk, because Galacta Knight also considers him far more expendable than Kirby.

"i'll take good care of him" is transparently a threat and not actually... you know, kind.

secondly is because (unbeknownst to Galacta Knight) Bandee uniquely remembers Meta Knight. he knows that the timeline is screwed up and Galacta Knight is not meant to be there, and is actively working to rescue his real dad mentor. Meta Knight knows that if he's found out, Galacta Knight won't hesitate to kill him.

suffice to say the guilt of this would drive him capital i Insane!

as for the Marx "hurt like hell" comic, I am actually sorry to have to tell you that that scene is their first ever interaction in this au! 😂 in this alternate version of the story Marx is also aware of the timeline fuckery (due to his existence as an eldritch, temporal little creature) and he tracks Bandee down late in the game with a risky trade offer; which Bandee refuses. that's what's pictured in the comic!

it goes on for quite a long ways after that; though I don't know if it'll tickle your ship dynamic quite right because Marx is mildly antagonistic towards Bandee (and everyone) the whole time. so while they are cursed to be Stuck Together By The Narrative they are not really close or even particularly friendly.

they do indeed interact in it quite a lot, and I personally think Marx would gladly shoot his shot if he was offered it; but Bandee is neck-deep in a different ship for the entirety of awtdy and is especially miserable/pining as hell throughout clockwork heart.

but that's okay because Bandee is, uh-- totally fine!! he's normal. he's fine. he's very very fine and things will be very very okay.

[rozeliyawashereyall]

Modern Korey rant!

Suggested this to @willowve01 and wanted to do one as well-

She's 19, turning 20!

Still a She/They bisexual, just a little less chaotic one this time (I'm fucking lying she's worse than OG korey)

A bounty hunter! Works with Raine best :3 Occasionally acts or models along with Esther and Raine. Her main weapon is a hand gun! (Dear god who gave this girl a gun, oh no, oh fuck-)

Her friend, Jay, was also an actor and basically suggested her when one of the actors couldn't pull through. Also, Marco helped!

Her backstory is still the same as her OG one. Parents are still very neglectful and emotionally manipulative (how has CPS not been called yet??) And she still has face blindness and Hypomania.

She has her own house, and her little brother Noah lives with her since he gets the same treatment from their parents instead of being the golden child like in the current au

Also, Raine's uncle Bill adopted her, so her and Raine are cousins now (trust me bro)

And of course, Varen is also adopted into the Adiel family! (Give up @keyaartz I'm winning this custody battle-)

She still has a lot of scars, and they're still there because she was a curious dumbass

Has a golden retriever named Argos (greek mythology reference lmao)

Noah is about 15, and Ezra is 24. He's an intern at a hospital

Has a full arm snake tattoo, matching with Jay but i keep forgetting to draw it- (Jay is dead in this au too so ig not anymore-)

GB headcanons

First met Marco during one of her first bounty hunts, gave her a few clues on the person she's after, and became friends from there (she was chasing someone with a knife and he was, as any other person would be, very concerned)

Introduced her to Timothy and Bodie a month into the friendship, and all 4 have been friends since

Occasional cooking lessons with Bodie because it does not matter if this is still a different AU. Girlie is still shit at it. Jer sense of direction is a LITTLE bit better tho (Raine still has to make sure her ass does not get lost)

Timmy dog sits Argos when she's out on a bounty hunt as it can take more than a day to find the person

Very long phone calls with him while she's out, basically just narrating everything that's happening while she finds the person "Yeah so anyways, I started blasting both bullets and 1980s music to get the suspect out of the house." -Korey, probably

Still haven't decided if I want Timmy and Korey to have crushes on each other or just be REALLY good friends.

Also, instead of pining on Sparky in silence like OG Korey did, she actually got into a relationship with her! Though it lasted 7 months before breaking up due to...'family' business and rivalries

_

When Timmy was kidnapped by Circe's hunters, she was called by Bodie to retrieve him at all costs, but then BAM! a portal opens, and there's like 2 different versions of the boys and 2 more bugs! <- How Korey canonicaly met Raine and Esther (@asmrbrainrot ) and probably the rest of the bugs aswell!

The fanon version is that Bill saved Korey, and she met Raine from there! They were both 14 at the time, so they've been friends for 5 years! And then they both met Esther when they started training together! She was both of their mentors :3

No major drawings this time, so just have these cropped photos of my drawings of what Korey would wear +2 doodles. I made half asleep

[lillysilvermoon]

Messages from your guardians

Pile 1

Signs: mentors, spiritual guides, ancestors (old woman), dragons (I heard "dragon soul" but I don't know much about dragons so,,,, takes what resonates), guardian angel, Archangel Raphael, green color, rivers, 1111 (I heard that you should read about this number's meaning and also to pay attention to how you feel when you see this number, it's important because has some kind of message in this and will be different for everyone!).

I feel like some of you has been through some kind of "spiritual awakening", it's like something has happened and now you understood what was necessary and a change of some kind is coming. Wait this is the message of someone: yes you understood and yes the change will happen - well, actually already is lol - and that's your confirmation. Also: there will be a "crisis" of some kind, or happened already, it's to remind you what YOU truly want and what's need to let go, it's kin the way of the Universe test you (I know it's sucks, believe I know......... but, this kind of situation teaches A LOT so me EXTREMELY aware, try to take notes because I swear to you, helps!).

Humm, some of you need to do little adjustments here and there and have a moment of rest, you know when we start our spiritual journey and we read about so many things, we wanna try it all but at some moment just feels like you are stuck? That's it here, it's like you are a vessel and you have been filled more and more and some of this was good but some wasn't and you need some time to "take the trash out", you need to stop and look at all this and see what servers you and what not.

If you are going through some hardships your guardians want you to know that first: you are not alone (please call upon them when you need, I promise they will help. But you need to ask guys😭💗) and you need to have trust to move forward of this situation.

"What you believe it's true becomes true, kid. You are halfway of your goal but you need to be more disciplined and put effort. Commit yourself to what you wants and don't give up." Alright for you all I need to say this: remember the thing about the universe test us? It do this to see if we have learned our lesson, so any dramas that may happen you need to see just as a stepping stone to where you want to be/your goals.

This is now just my own advice: call them, talk to them. It can be ANYTHING. Light a candle, write a letter to them and read out loud, pray, meditation. Can whatever y'all want to be. They are with you and really want to help.

You shall receive good news because abundance is coming at waterfalls to you, give abundantly and you accept with gratitude if you are given (I feel there is people here that just don't know how to accept things, either material or emotional help and your guardian wants you to learn this).

For anyone trying a business: it's gonna be blessed!! Expect thing to work really well because I can tell you: wealth is on its away to you.

Please have more faith in yourself Pile 1, seriously you guardians see you like someone SO capable (king of Wands) you can do it! (Whatever this "it" means to y'all, know that YES U CAN! and I believe in you👽🙌)

Last but not least: When was the last time you heard your feelings? You give them some kind of, you know, attention?..... pretend you are fine, you are strong, a warrior blablabla it's needed sometimes, but if this is your normal it's bad, blocks your heart center and the energy which can make you feel sick and warm you hole body. You need more balance when related to your emotional and self-care. Take more care of your spiritual body. (People who likes crystals: rose quartz it's good for you!)

Pile 2

Signs: green color (pile one had this too lmao maybe y'all need to work on your heart chakra just saying 🤷‍♀️), leo, fire signs and fire placements at your big three (so weird when I receive this things because it's very specific and because I don't even know too much about astrology so I was be like "damn... its really specific" lmao never mind ignore me), aquamarine (loved this because the picture of this Pile is a mermaid🤭🥺), color pink, pisces, 111, 444

Humm okay, first of all your guardians want you to know that some things need to comes to a end because teaches you what was supposed to teach and now it's just time to end, and you don't need to be sad about that because ends also means create space for new things, people, experiences. I feel like this is Love matters, well there is 2 options here: the first one it's all that I said, and the second one is that you are ending this to meet your "special someone" (since there a increase of Twin Flames on earth this time, maybe you are ending this relationship because you gonna meet them soon and you learned the lesson with this person). But for some of you is a friendship. Yeah, it's right, nothing will come of this situation (its literally what the card says), meditation, time out and you know, just be a little contemplative will help you. Surrender to the Divine (whatever The Divine are for you) will help, believe that you will get what you need (I thought this were for the people that are working on there skills but your guardian was like "NO! IT'S NOT!!!!!!) and I came back here and yes it is for you really).

If you are into mantras I recommend "Om Namo Narayani" which basically means I surrender to the Divine.

(I think this is for a really small group: don't let your pride get in your away okay? You need to work in group and balance your needs with the needs of others. Its important and you need to work on this!)

The other message here is that: you are doing SO GREAT at your job/craft. Really, your guardians are proud of you for better your skills and know that you are doing a really good job!

And you need to hear you on thoughts, someone here has been anxious as and your guardian wants you to calm down, repeat to yourself "this thought isn't mine" and start to calm yourself, your guardian wants you to know that you are not alone, but you need to take better care of yourself especially related to your anxiety!

Pile 3

Signs: male guide, trans men (fo explain: someone here reading this are and this is the sign that yes, this is your Pile Hello😙💗), seashells, collect rocks (I don't who you are but you have such a good and fun energy lmao you know this person who just looks like a really good friend and person? It's you), color read, Divine Feminine path (or something related to the topic), life path number 3? (You got FIVE number 3), 666, number 9, pink hearts, Grenade and red jasper (it's more likely you should try to use them, will help you have more energy)

This pile have STRONG feminine energy and also priestess energy (which means that you can be one, become one in the future, was one in some important past life or just have the characteristics of one!)

Okay, some of you has Mother Mary as one of you main guardian (She and Archangel Mary are not the same! I can talk more about this if y'all be interested♡) and I feel a lot of you are working on something new and she wants you to know that: it's worth, this project is important, the world deserves to see the incredible person you are. And also to know that you are entering a knew phase and will bee FULL of good things and blessings, omg I can't calm myself its SO AMAZING really there us so many blessings, so many good moments. Okay I need to calm myself down or things gonna be all messy lol sorry I get really excited with this messages, your faith will be renewed, you are entering a peaceful loving phase, filled with calm energy and personal growth. Your belief that your dreams can manifest are working well, there us a big "yes" coming your away (I'M SO HAPOY FOY YOU, HERE, TAKE MY HUG). Whatever situation this is: is blessed, if you chose this pile probably you are starting all over again in some away, can be on a new/better course or just feeling more positive about archiving your goals.

(Very small group who are feeling stagnant: life goes on cycles and you are going enter a new one now! Likely our friend Pile 3 it's a moment to you to trust in the Divine (again: whatever the Divine is for you). Your guardians want you to trust your feelings and intuition (because logic won't work right now) and speak positively because "your words have power. Say what you want will work, and believe in it" (someone guide said and it's a man).

I need y'all to take care of yourself, your guardians want you to be more in touch with your intuition, your body (dance, yoga and stretching can help) and on do creative things, also try to just go more with the flow, be less controlled (some here are control freaks help) and just... take better care of you, u know?

Oh, I almost forgot: Its time to spread your wings and fly, universe is supporting u right now (your guardians want you to know that because apparently you don't have much physical support so ita important to you to know that). Youe hard work will pay off, I promise you (and for anyone who was wanting to travel: can happen soon)

Pile 4

Signs: aries, pisces, waterfalls, Mexico, ireland, 333, 6666, Angel's, Saint Mary (it's a place in Jamaica).

"You need to take a break" that's what I heard, for some of you I feel like you have to much energy, and you are doing to much things and it's time to get inwards and have some time of to chill, I think you don't like to open up to others because what I'm feeling is that you guided are talking but I just can't understand (like you didn't want help from other person, or that anyone no one knew what going on...) okay I assume its related to your job, or group you live with, looks very...heavy, a sense of hostility and conflicts. Your guardians want you to know that: first isnt your fault! Sencond: try to find common ground and focus on mutual collaboration rather then the competition. You need to focus in maintai you inner peace and don't let the environment you are get the best of you.

For other group here: your guardians always you to take action, to do you best and BE HAPPY (and proud) WITH THAT! (My perfectionist group, maybe?). I think there is something you want and this is a huge YES, but you need determination (and probably a long term plan).

And our last group (but I think this applies to the one before) you need to balance spirituality and practicality (I feel you, same boat here 🤡) WAIT A MINUTE BECAUSE I'M A HOPELESS ROMANTIC SIR, the card says "a new male is coming into your life" nd the other one (the one about balance) SAYS THAT THE PERSON CAN BE A SOULMATE OMG GUYS THE CARDS COMPLEMENTS EACH OTHER THIS IS SO CUTE I CAN'T I'M SORRY-

I couldn't help myself to freak out sorry Pile 4, getting back to what I was saying: Your intuition won't let you down and you need to trust it, and your guardians also wants you to know that you need to take more practical steps and be with your head in the clouds less, they ask you to find balance between your responsibilities and your dreams (maybe you have to work but are trying or want to try your new business, stop dream about it and think "what can I do NOW to make my dream happen?" Or "What step can I do NOW with what I already have to start my business?" Questions like this will help!.

This is coming so strong omg: Your soulmate is coming guys, I mean really appeared 3 times in 2 cards (besides you got The Emperor which can means Divine Masculine depends on the topic. Anyhow just takes what resonates).

COME HERE: When things get hard you have emotional balance? Your guardians want you to work on this, because sometimes the solution is right in front of you but you are to angry, sad or agitated to realize.

I hope this message reaches everyone who needs. Bye bye from me and your guardians 🤣🤭 see y'all soon.

- Lia

[shkika]

All, any, and every drop of Pebbles & Suns content adds +5 years to my lifespan. Every word from you about them is double that. Thank you for your service

I'm really charmed you like my rambles though oh gosh. Let's try to do a small Suns and by extension Pebbles ramble.

A warning from me is that this will be a VERY headcanon-y, because we know so little about Suns. I'll still reference the game, but I will also fill any holes I see fitting.

Which means btw that this will be very LONG I am sorry hehe.

I'm gonna pick apart their natural conversation they have in the deep green pearl. I think it's unfair to craft an idea of how they interacted when Suns was worried about Pebbles literally dying WHILE killing his sister.

WHICH HOLLY SUNS. I think they have ISSUES! Because god you are MEAN to someone who is being genuinely vulnerable to you. And sometimes that means you yourself are scared of being vulnerable.

Even after Pebbles tells them to ease down, because he's genuinely looking for advice, Suns doesn't miss out on implying he's stupid.

We also know Pebbles really looked up to Suns as well, with them acknowledging this in their conversation with NSH and with Pebbles himself referring to them as mentor-like.

In my interpretation of Suns' character, they were made by a very religious colony. As in they were kind cultish in their way of treating Suns. You've seen vague(?) hints on my blog pointing towards this with Moon saying they have political power over their own colony and with the entire deal of that one Sunstone comic I made (x). (and even here (x) "Blesseth be my name" as a little joke that people probably use their name to exclaim.

I don't think they ever wanted that attention or responsibility. I think things were messy and words were often put in their mouth by various houses. Pushed to make decisions they wouldn't have really made. Their fluffy over the top garments didn't really fit at first until they grew to play the god they were made to be. They played being an all knowing god and they hated it, but they grew into that persona until it became an undeniable part of their character.

They LOOK really put together. And they LOOK like they have a lot of power and are revered by the ancients with no drawbacks.

At least that's how it looked to Pebbles at first.

Not only was he referred to as an abomination from before being even built. With some ancients on Moon REFUSING TO MOVE on him, because they don't want him.

Now we have Suns who by all means is kind of the opposite in every way of the person who Pebbles is constantly compared to (Moon) and is STILL adored, even worshiped.

And you get the idea of how maybe they became someone who he really looked up to. And they had very similar interests too!

(Time for canon lmao)

Moon about the music pearl (riv campaign) states that there were those that loved cultural archiving. Obviously Pebbles is one of those iterators and given he and SRS were close friends I don't doubt they enjoyed being art nerds together. <3

So they clicked. They were genuine friends, but there was some sort of dynamic there. Suns was probably kind of condescending all the time as we see in the conversation. They tried their best to be good influence, but I cannot tell you if they succeeded.. eeh

They also didn't spare him any harsh truths, despite of what Pebbles might need to actually hear. Which ironically I think perhaps made Pebbles feel more respected. Aside the fact they showed genuine interest in his research and theories and so on.

I also think Suns really enjoyed Pebbles' company, despite the fact I can't tell you how healthy it was for them to have yet another person look up to them so much.

In conclusion those two are a complicated mess to me I think!!!! They care and they left each other deeply hurt and it's sad they never got to reconcile.

[lazaruspiss]

recently realized that dick had a relationships with all three of his rapists beyond one incident, like he lived with liu and eddie for a while, mirage posed as kori for an extended period of time and we really have no way of knowing how long he was with catalina, this creates a pattern of people that he knows betraying him and using him for their own gratification

which makes me think of his relationships with his family and friends rn, if one of them started crossing boundaries would he accept it? would he even have expected it? if babs didn’t hear him say wait one night would he know that it’s a mistake or would he think “ah, you too?”

like he loves his family and trusts them with his life but I don’t think he can trust them not to hurt him and that includes sexually, part of it is the constant paranoia that comes with being a vigilante for almost two decades and part of it is unprocessed trama but thinking anyone could start to abuse him probably isn’t good for his health or for his relationships lmao

oh for sure for sure!! im also fairly convinced dick would struggle seeing any of those incidents as rape. the liu incident doesn't meet the proper legal qualifications, he was at times blamed by his own team for what happened with mirage, and so much plays into the situation with catalina that im not sure he'd even be able to process it at all. the murder takes priority, and he'd see it more through a lense of him failing to save cat than him being assaulted.

dick wouldn't /want/ to have been assaulted, so i don't think he'd categorize any of that as rape. if others cross boundaries, he might justify/minimize it out of habit. less that he thinks anyone could/would abuse him, and more that he would never recognize harm done to him as abuse.

(some notes for those without context on some of the stuff being referred to!)

liu and eddie: there's a storyline in which dick runs away at 16 (or as he puts it, one month short of 17) and lives on his own. by which i mean, most likely homeless. he works as a dishwasher iirc. one day, his coworker recommends these people who take in teenaged runaways and offers them a place to stay. it's functionally a gang that uses cult recruitment tactics to manipulate teenagers into doing their bidding. the /they/ being liu and eddie. dick is just another kid, and doesnt realize what they're doing until he's already pretty deep in it. there's a fair amount of bonding and attachment, with liu and eddie showing him favoritism and singling him out in a way that makes them his primary support network. eventually this all leads to a sexual encounter between dick and liu. something worth noting: the age of consent in new jersey (where gotham is and where this story is set) is 16, and as it was a technically consensual encounter it is incredibly unlikely for it to be legally classified as rape/sexual assault.

mirage: ok imma be real u gotta ask someone else for this one. or maybe read the actual comics bc tumblr is a mess when looking for actually useful info.

catalina: ok!! ok... from my understanding there was originally going to be a full plotline about dick being in an abusive relationship with catalina, but it was rushed/cut short so that DC could put nightwing in a batman crossover event. classic. but dick had already been trying to mentor catalina for a decent while before she started abusing him. tried to /mentor/ her. her hurting him? to dick, it would likely feel like a reflection on him. that /he/ must have fucked up for her to end up doing something like that. it's left somewhat vague, but we don't have any reason to not believe cat continued to sexually abuse dick off page. we see her get him drunk and try to get him to sign marriage documents, she wants to /possess/ him. dick is incredibly dissociative throughout the aftermath, up until DC needed to force him out of his own story arc to hold daddy bat's hand. sorry lol

[princess-of-the-corner]

Any interesting things happen on Hawks and Tokoyami's internship stuff? Because I can see Tokoyami throwing Hawks for a loop. He's been taught how to interact with fans and such. But Tokoyami's odd behavior and the difference in combat styles might lead to something. Oh I guess does Hawks get the 2-for-1 deal here as well?

(I know what happened in /canon/ with how Hawks basically just asked about the USJ and kinda ignored him but.... that doesn't quite track for me so let's go!)

He does get the two for one so Eimi is there too! (Fumikage and Eimi will eventually have to separate but not yet)

Honestly Hawks as a mentor is kinda. Off. At times.

Like. He obviously knows not to do the training from hell sort of thing that he went through to become a Hero, and he's had students before. But when he does have interns/work study students, they're typically third years who can more better keep up with him.

Fumikage and Eimi, on the other hand, are first year students who are just beginning. So Hawks..... kinda doesn't quite know what to do with them? What all do they know? How hard can he be on them? So he kinda swings between expecting too much of them or expecting too little. It does balance out eventually, and the two are quick learners.

That said! Hawks good with them in like. Teaching them to be more solo. Fumi and Eimi had planned to pretend to be one person, so they're very codependent on one another in combat. Hawks is often solo, so he can give advice on that.

Hawks is also good at teaching them to fuck with people. Like giving someone the side eye when they eat chicken. Or switching it up and going all in on a bucket of kfc while being called a cannibal lmao.

On the flipside.....

Hawks has been suppressing some of his Quirks more mutation-like aspects. Like while he has the bird name, the Commission wants him marketed more as 'man with wings' than an actual bird. But he is, in fact, a bird!!

So being around at least one other Bird (I debate how 'bird' Eimi is but Fumi is bird)? Especially one who never feels the need to hide those traits? It tricks him into letting his guard down.

They're just having a conversation in bird noises while everyone around them goes 'please for the love of FUCK speak a language we know!!!"

[sketching-shark]

Hello! I know you aren't a big fan of LMK, but there's a sideblog run by @digitalagepulao named @digitaldoeslmk that is doing a rewrite of the show by following book canon, and their ideas and art is FIRE so please have a look if you have the time. Also, I remember seeing a few lines that Sun Wukong has medical training during his years of learning. Would he count as having a degree in medicine in modern terms? How is he during childbirth? Do you think he'd be able to do a human childbirth successfully? Have a great month, enjoy your food, and don't forget to sleep early regularly!

As a matter of fact @angstandhappiness I am recently familiar with @digitaldoeslmk and let me just say WEH @digitalagepulao has done an amazing job at creating one of the most fun and interesting Monkie Kid aus out there!

I'm honestly really appreciative of the though and care they've put into a version of the lego show where JTTW happened according to Wu Cheng'en's version, and particularly the way this means that A) Sun Wukong is a genuinely good mentor & that therefore there's many a lovely shifu-tudi moment between him and MK (plus SWK is his book canon size here so that's an automatic improvement over LMK canon lmao), B) Red Son gets more time in the spotlight both as a character and as a source of insights into the histories of the JTTW canon characters, and C) the stakes aren't of the constant end-of-the-universe levels & therefore MK gets a Fucking Break from the Horrors & also gets to make a lot more friends in stuff like a theater group.

tbh I was pretty delighted by this plot idea @digitalagepulao put out where MK is getting ready for a theatrical production of Havoc in Heaven where he's playing Sun Wukong but then both the actor and the understudy who played Erlang Shen got ill, & that this was resolved by MK getting SWK to play his one-time nemesis. That's a really fun idea for a number of reasons, not the least being it seems like a great scenario for the Monkey King to have actually understandable stage fright & some genuine conversations about his past & what he learned from his experiences BUT ALSO for it being a great way for Monkie Kid to give a respectful nod to past retellings of Xiyouji even while letting MK & co. shine.

In conclusion people should definitely check out @digitaldoeslmk.

As for the second part of this ask, you probably couldn't say that the Monkey King has anything like a contemporary medical degree going strictly by Xiyouji canon, but he does prove himself to be a clever primate when it comes to medicine! Honestly it could make for a kind of funny JTTW future story where SWK goes through medical school to get an MD so that he can be an officially licensed doctor in the 21st century lol. And while we never see SWK helping someone with pregnancy or childbirth in the og classic (discounting the mpreg arc lmao), his status as both an extremely old communal grandpa who's seen a lot and a protector of children seem to both suggest that he'd be pretty good at assisting in childbirth for humans, monkeys, and yaoguai alike.

Enjoy your food and sleep too!

[reliquiaenfr]

What is Aphid and Shiana's relationship like?

so shiana and aphid are based on ocs of mine! i looooove talking about my ocs ahaha

shiana is an oracle (in their original story, she's the second in charge of a church of oracles, but in fr she's just an oracle), she's a bit cheeky and doesn't take things as seriously as she ought to - though at least SOME of that is an act, she actually had a pretty traumatic event happen to her when she was younger so underneath the snark, she's very grounded. (the story is that since she can "pull" on the threads of fate to change the future, she thought she could help people and when she was younger she tried to expose someone for their misdeeds by meddling with their future, but it got her mentor killed instead, and since then she's been very VERY careful about what she does with her power). since shiana still wants to help folks, she has to find other ways to do it.

aphid (her real name is tao li, but she goes by aphid, mostly, and also other psuedonyms) is a spy academic. she's from a monastery village, worked in a library, and loves learning things. the only thing she loves more than reading things in a book is learning them in person. she's a bit of a stickler for rules and can come across as having a stick up her butt because she's a bit inflexible and snobbish lol.

all of which is to say that they have the sort of relationship that others look at and go 'but... why tho?' because shiana comes across as way too chill for aphid, and aphid is the kind of person who would unironically wear a no fun allowed shirt. but aphid is the only person shiana ever told the story about her dead mentor and aphid like... gets it. a lot of their initial friendship was built on the possibilities that teaming up would afford them: shiana can see when something unsavoury is going to happen, and aphid has the soft-spoken tenacity to do something about it.

as part of a governing group, shiana had access to a lot of resources, and aphid has the unassuming demeanour to use them without making others suspicious. so they started trying to help people and change the bleak futures that shiana saw without directly rewriting the future. now, they're both different kinds of hopelessly gay, and in exact opposite directions: shiana didn't want to mess things up with aphid bc aphid was like... her best friend, you know? someone who understood her fears and her powers. aphid didn't want to ruin what they had going either, but UNLIKE shiana, she's scarily observant and figured shiana out in ten minutes lmao.

these days, they're the annoying sort of in-synch couple that can have entire conversations in a single glance. aphid is very uncomfortable with public affection, so she often seems quite cold to shiana when others are around, but she absolutely adores that silly woman and she does a lot of things shiana will like (gifts, special date things, massaging shiana's scalp, etc). and although shiana likes to tease her (even in public), she always respects aphid's no pda preferences. it's extremely common for someone meeting them for the first time to have no idea at all that they're together, but once you know it's obvious.

their communication is fucking top notch also. it has to be because aphid can't see into shiana's head to visualise the futures she's seeing and how best to change them, so even before they got together, they were super good at talking things out. aphid's comfort boundaries are so excuriatingly well defined that it's like... shiana knows when it's okay to touch aphid's hand or back or something more intimate and when it's not. and althought shiana wasn't the most comfortable expressing her own boundaries to begin with, aphid is just very blunt about it all, she's like "well see, shiana, i happen to love you and i don't want you to do something that will fuck that up so here is my rulebook" and after that shiana was pretty cool with talking her feelings and desires out.

[hereforthefunnyguys]

Break down Anzu please 🥺🙏

O 1. How do I feel about this character?

Will not lie to you at first I didn't see all that special about her but still thought she was a fun addition to the friend group. Then I got on the Internet (bad idea wouldn't recommend it) and saw how much hate she got and was like Oh I See. It's my job to defend her forever since apparently nobody else will. Send my ass off to war for her.

I do really appreciate her and I wish people would take a minute to examine her character more (which, to be fair, they removed a lot of for the manga). Like. I especially relate to the way that she both obviously has so much ambition for the future and looks forward to her career as a dancer, but is still scared and sad about having to let go of the friends she's made over the years.

Also people make fun of her for being too wishy washy and "vulnerable" but the fact of the matter is that she's not prone to discussing her emotions with anyone else in the series at all. Like. The only reason people see her as emotional is because we're given a viewpoint into her thoughts. Jonouchi is more openly emotional than her. Honda is more emotional. People should try and learn how to actually read into her character instead of just assigning her the Generic Shonen Girl Personality and calling it a day.

2. All the people I ship romantically with this character:

There is a horrid dearth of proper yuri in yugioh, but! I like pairing her up with Mana (unrealistic and they are separated by 3000 years but! She will Fuck That Mummy (i just got a really really good idea for an au guys trust me)) just because I think they make an interesting hypothetical dynamic - honestly, I'd go the full mile of calling them kind of narrative foils, what with Anzu's responsibility vs. Mana's silliness, Mana being tutored by a mentor vs. Anzu being mostly self-taught and self-propelled, Mana not having much ambition for most of the Millennium World arc despite her position of power and privilege vs. Anzu scraping up from the bottom specifically because she has such an intense vision of what she wants her life to be. Really good potential there. Anyways continuing on

I think her and Miho seem cute but i gonna be real with you i have. Not seen a ton of season zero so I have no real frame of reference for what they'd be like. And manga miho seems a little quiet for anzus personality tbh she needs someone she can argue with lmao

On the het side I like her with Atem but not honestly much of anyone else. I thought her and him had a very sweet dynamic in the manga and I would have liked to see more of his thoughts about her since he seemed to enjoy her company, he just. Is not good at talking to people in general. Don't hit me with that "ackshually atem hates Anzu 🤓" Shit. They are friends. They like each other.

Also I hc that she was crushing on mai kujaku but i don't think she would've been happy if it was a serious relationship. It's just like. One of those crushes teenagers get on attractive adults that show them genuine respect for the first time ever you know?

3. My non-romantic OTP for this character is:

Her and Jonouchi are so funnyyyyyyy lmao. "JOSEPH WHEELER WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU" alright they seem like the perfect mix of stupid and stubborn that im sure can lead to them getting into all kind of dumb shit. Where's my au where they both get lost in the woods because Anzu said she knew where she was going and Jonouchi was too proud to check the map. Silly

4. My unpopular opinion about this character:

SHE! IS! NOT! BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!! (rips shirt off and screams in rage) AND NO BEING YUGIS LOVE INTEREST IS NOT HER ONLY JOB IN THE STORY!!! SHE HAS A PERSONALITY BEYOND ANOTHER BOY'S CRUSH ON HER THAT SHE MAY OR MAY NOT RECIPROCATE!!!!

Really though she has such a strong personality if you set out to try and figure it out!! And she does play multiple roles beyond love interest and damsel in distress! She did a ton of stuff in the early manga and i still cannot believe people make fun of her for friendship speeches when they are obsessed with everyone else from hit series Yu-Gi-Oh, Friendship is Magic. She didn't even make that many speeches!!!!!

5. One thing I wished happened to this character in canon?

I wish we got to see more of her home life and her background since it feels like it has something going on back there, since she seems to be hustling for money in a way that tells me she mostly relies on herself for funds and support. Also I wish at least at some point she had gotten to tell Atem how she felt about him :( or at least resolved the plot point beyond "well I guess he's going so i have to cope"

anyways I LOVE HER A MILLION KISSES FOR ANZU MAZAKI