#and choice paralysis too i get overwhelmed when i have a lot to do of literally anything

[fawfulydoo]

not to be Vulnerable or anything but ngl i feel bad for not posting as much animation lately even though the simple answer is i've got like literally 6 whole projects im working on all at the same time and they're more complex than my older stuff so of course it would warrant taking more time to make it look nice idk maybe im being irrational but i guess i set unrealistically high standards for myself when i shouldnt

[bellewintersroe]

I'm back in your inbox with new ideas! Lol. The guys being left to care for your baby alone for the first time. I feel like this would kinda be both sweet and hilarious. For Malarkey, Chuck, Babe, Shifty, Winters, Luz, Liebgott, and whoever else you wanna add. ❤️

Super cute idea omg, I love this, thank you for your requests!!!

Easy Company x Reader Headcannons. 

Don Malarkey:

- okay 1000% is super confident when you’re around, he LOVES fatherhood, he’s so emotionally intelligent and caring that he’s the perfect dad, I can’t stress that enough (for all the men).

- when you leave just for a couple hours the baby’s probs asleep and Malarkey’s calm and content, just chilling, reading the paper and what not.

- That’s until the baby starts crying, at first he just goes for it, but when he can’t seem to settle your son he’s deffo raking his brain for every single thing he can do.

- Speaks to himself ‘okay, okay. What do I do?’

- would accidentally put the baby’s vest on backwards, or accidentally put his foot through the head hole.

- He doesn’t exactly fret, but he’s a little flustered and clumsy, especially when the baby won’t stop crying for its bottle and Don spills it all over the floor.

- But he wants everything to be perfect for when you come back, so as soon as he hears that door go he’s resting as carefully as he can back on the sofa with your baby boy wriggling resting on his chest.

Chuck Grant:

- I think after his accident Chuck is a lot more nervous and anxious about fatherhood. He never really worried about it before, he didn’t think about it a whole lot.

- Truthfully he’s scared to be left alone with the baby. He’s confident in his abilities to do day-to-day life tasks now, but due to the slight paralysis in part of his left arm he’s nervous.

- Regardless if he had the accident or not, he’d still be scared.

- Asks you sooo many questions, asks his friends, families, mom, he’s such a caring and good dad really, you’d assure him he has nothing to worry about.

- Deffo stands over your daughter’s crib to make sure she’s breathing. Like he’s checking on her every five minutes.

- Kinda scared of how tiny she is, like he’s scared to pick her up, faces so many irrational fears, but when she starts crying he kinda has no choice.

- He’s sooo reassuring, speaking to her and stroking his hand over her blonde hair.

- Scoops her up SO GENTLY- sosifiwidikwksosksos too cute omfg I can’t.

- but he’s extra fucking careful like with everything, he cradles her head and rocks her carefully.

- figures its not as scary as he thought. So when you’re back from the shop and see this you’re overwhelmed with happiness.

- “hey, this isn’t as scary as I thought!!”

- he’s a mf angel fr (even if he does almost throw up trying to change her dirty diaper).

Babe Heffron:

- On the topic of dirty diapers. You’ve gone out for the evening with a few of your girlfriends, extremely hesitant, but Babe is confident and assures you that you need to take a night off and he can handle your 3 month old daughter.

- He truly means it, he wants you to have a break- but it feels like the second you step foot outta the door all hell breaks loose.

- Your baby girl’s diaper practically explodes and Babe is positive he can handle it but the second he has to deal with it he’s GAGGING NOOO-

- Probably wraps a shirt around his face and he’s retching the whole time. Panics and gets the diaper on backwards- Bill is the only person that picks up the phone.

- He’s rocking and burping, feeding and soothing your baby but she won’t stop crying as Babe frantically questions Bill.

- “ya should know, you’ve got a whole army of em.”

- Turns out she just wants rocking and a little cuddle and as soon as she settles down Babe feels super proud. Like he smiles to himself so much, kisses her head and keeps her sleeping on his chest.

- Probably doesn’t move for a good 2 hours. If the baby is asleep he doesn’t want to wake her and cause WW3 so he just stays in that position lolllll.

Shifty Powers:

- He has such a calming presence that your daughter just soothes in his arm immediately. She’s got her dad wrapped around her finger and Shifty will find himself running all around the house

- Deffo cool asf with being left alone with your baby for the first time. He’s a little worried because you two are such a good team.

- I can imagine him sitting on the porch with your baby, holding her close as he points out the different wildlife he see’s running past.

- Probably the type of dad that wants to play with the baby fresh outta the womb, and you kinda have to say; “Shifty, give her two months to develop first.” Lmao

- “Look who’s back? That’s ya mommy, hm? Let’s go see her.” Ugh he’s so sweet and takes care of her so well, like I said he’s so mf calm, cool and collected. Literally like a baby whisperer.

Dick Winters:

- Similar to Shifty, he’s so mf calm and collected when he’s left alone- except before you leave he’s asking you plenty of questions.

- you kinda have to reassure like ‘Dick, I promise you’ll be fine, he’s not gonna run off anyway and you’re not going to drop him.’

- You’re right, and similar to Chuck he’s checking up on your baby every few minutes, smiling every time your son moves or makes the slightest noise.

- Sooo gentle and so good at keeping to a routine, literally so methodical, checks if he’s hungry, tired, cold, warm, just needs a cuddle?

- He’s even a little smug when you got back. Luckily for you both your baby is already calm, but I can imagine Dick carrying him and just watching down to his peaceful little face feeling so accomplished at life.

George Luz:

- Same as Shifty but worse, he but wants to play with your kid but he’s literally like 4 weeks old lmao.

- “Don’t worry, babe, I got it all covered, we’re gonna have the best time. Aren’t we?” He reassures before you leave as he speaks to his son (who obviously doesn’t reply).

- Thinks he’s got it all under control but he’s deffo exhausted by the end of it. At first the baby is asleep n he’s speaking to him before he turns over; “you don’t talk much, do you?”

- makes the worse mistake EVER and wakes up a sleeping baby; “c’mon little guy, let’s listen to the baseball.”

- Crying, crying and more crying. George does everything, he literally apologises to your baby for getting him up.

- “Tough life, little guy.” He teases but it doesn’t exactly work.

- George probably gets a little upset when you walk back in and the baby is still wailing. He feels the need to apologise and explain.

- “George it’s fine, he’s a baby he’s gonna cry.”

- Fr tho he’s such a good dad, so present and active in his child’s life.

Joe Liebgott:

- “Hey, I’m actually really fuckin’ good at this.” Accidentally curses in front of your newborn and slaps his hand over his mouth.

- Thinks he’s the pro at changing diapers and fixing bottles, he wants to do it as much as he can seeing as he has to go work through the week in the day.

- “You want me to read this or some real stories, huh?” Would read a comic book to your son, and it actually works when he goes to sleep.

- Tries to sleep when the baby does, he’s eager to show you that the two of you should start trying for more little Liebgott’s asap!!

- You’re out for the whole night, staying over at a relatives and Joe practically SPRINGS out of bed every time the baby cries.

- Maybe he’s a light sleeper from the war, but it’s just an automatic reaction, hurries over in a slight panic to make sure everything is ok.

- admits later he feels like a zombie by the morning, it creates an even stronger gratitude for you as a mother and he’s honestly so happy your back.

- Never complains about being tired again. He loves spending time with his son as much as possible, even if it is hard work at first, he’s soo fucking good at it that he does convince you to have 400 more children.

[elminx]

Energy Update: Solar Eclipse 21° Libra, 10/14/2023

Note: I've talked about eclipses many times before. I am going to make reference to past posts but try not to cross over too much of the same ground again. Please reference this post for more information.

On Saturday 10/14, we will experience a partial solar eclipse at 21° Libra. This is our first solar eclipse since the lunar nodes switched to the Aries-Libra axis during the month of July. In this way, this is a highly significant lunar event that will set the tone for the eclipse seasons to come over the next two and a half years.

The Set Up

October is an "8" month in a "7" year. During the eclipse, the Sun, Moon, and Mercury will be conjunct in Libra, Venus will be in Virgo, Mars in Scorpio, retrograde Jupiter and Uranus in Taurus, retrograde Saturn and Neptune in Pisces, and Pluto in Capricorn. The asteroid Chiron is sitting in conjunction with our North Node in the sign of Aries. All of our outer planets will be in retrograde motion except for Pluto who stationed direct the Tuesday beforehand.

There are a number of transits in play during this lunar event:

Stellium: Sun, Moon, Mercury, and the South Node in Libra (5° orb)

Solar eclipse square Pluto in Capricorn (6° orb)

Mercury in Libra opposed to Chiron in Aries (01° orb)

Venus in Virgo opposed retrograde Saturn in Pisces (04° orb, exact Tuesday)

Mars enters Scorpio (Thursday)

Mars in Scorpio trine retrograde Saturn in Pisces (01°, exact Friday)

Pluto stations direct 27° Capricorn (Tuesday)

Retrograde Neptune in Pisces sextile Pluto in Capricorn

Chiron conjunct the North Node in Aries (7° orb)

When determining the significance of transits, one should consider the most exact transits and all transits involving the lunar event to be highly significant. Second to that, we take into account aspects to our personal planets. Outer planet aspects will color the general feel of the day but will, for the most part, not impact our individual lives.

In this way, we should note a strong opposition between the stellium of our Sun, Moon, Mercury, and the South Node in Libra and Chiron and the North Node in Aries. Additionally, both Venus and Mars are in aspect with Saturn, our planet of restriction and boundaries.

The Nitty Gritty

This solar eclipse will have mixed energy as it combines the energy of new beginnings from the new moon with endings due to its conjunction with the South Node. There is a lot of pain close to the surface which may be stopping us from stepping forward into the new beginning that we are looking for (Chiron conjunct the North Node). This is your cosmic reminder that pain isn't always the STOP sign that we think it is, but instead is more of a check engine light.

Pain tells us that there is something that needs attention.

You may be holding on to something too tightly. Both Venus in Virgo and Mars in Scorpio will be in tight aspect with retrograde Saturn all week. Saturn is often known as the planet of restriction, but this is because he is Father Time. Saturn, like the lunar nodes, is closely associated with the concept of fate - but fate very rarely means what you think that it does. Time is relentless, always marching onwards. If the old adage is the only inevitabilities are death and taxes, Saturn controls both. Saturn is the reminder that as time goes on, some of the options that we kept on the back burner slip away.

Every opportunity in your life has a limited half-life. We just can't do everything. Eventually, we need to choose.

That's where the lunar eclipses come in. Everything is a choice; but eventually, if you don't make a choice, the world moves on. There is an element of analysis paralysis at play here (Libra's greatest weakness) - somebody needs to shit or get off of the pot, metaphorically speaking.

Eclipses are the Big Hitter transits of the year - they tend to feel so far beyond us that it can be overwhelming. Sometimes it can feel easiest to run from this energy or to disassociate and hide your head in the sand. That's not an option when Saturn is in play - Saturn demands that you put in the work in your own life.

It won't feel comfortable for anyone, but those who are showing up, who are trying to make changes, who are keeping their eyes wide open and witnessing their own life - those are the people who will shine through this lunation.

This isn't to say that they will be able to control how the eclipses show up in their lives. Eclipses are wild card energy; the best we can do is enjoy the ride. But if you've made right in your life, if you know what you need to let go of and what you need to draw in - you may recognize it when eclipses give you what you need.

The same old eclipse advice is in play here: Stay VERY AWARE of what doors open and close for you during the upcoming eclipses and the two weeks between these lunar events. Eclipses have a way of aligning you toward your life path (astrology is, in essence, a study of who you are and what you were born to experience in this lifetime). This isn't as restrictive an idea as people would like to believe: there is no one way to walk your "life path" - you always have free will and choice. Still, the natal birth chart especially does highlight the parts of life where you will find the most rich and meaningful experiences.

As the eclipse falls on the Aries-Libra axis, we all - collectively and personally - are struggling in some fashion with the conflict between being true to ourselves (Aries) versus being part of the collective (Libra). With Chiron so tightly in play, we can see that pain is close to the surface. You may find yourself questioning some things you were taught as a child by your family, religious group, or culture - especially if you are undergoing a Saturn return, square, or opposition.

Aries teaches us that it is right - even holy - to be our own true selves. The pain of this individualization process is being highlighted by Chiron and the North Node's conjunction in the sign of the Ram. Chiron shows us that it hurts while the North Node reminds us that we should do it anyway. The one person that you always need to be accountable to is yourself. (Libras especially may find that idea triggering)

In a very triggery week, it is worth remembering that triggers can be sacred things too - they show us the parts of ourselves that need attention. If you are in a space where it is safe to do so, try leaning into the pain rather than away from it. There is a lot to uncover in the weeds during this time.

There is no easy this week. Life is just like that sometimes. Practice your very best self-care if you need it. This energy will lift at the end of the month after we go through our eclipsed Scorpio full moon the weekend before Halloween.

Do you like my work? You can support me by tipping me here on Tumblr or on Kofi. Every little bit helps.

[moomeecore]

hey, i hope this isnt rude, but i value your thoughts on betty (and simon!) and i think about your various analytical pieces often.

so i hope this isnt too vague, but. ive been thinking about the ways betty and simon might differ from each other, specifically in the way they view...everything. do you think one of them has a 'sees the big picture but misses the small details' view and the other has a 'gets lost in the details, cant see the big picture' view? im not sure if they differ here, or if they are both the 'gets lost in the details' but going opposite ways...?

FINALLY getting around to awnsering this. i got sick so it took me even longer than i thought it would (had to wait until i could retain coherent thoughts)!!

Ok So, a lot of this is extrapolating (esp for betty) and goes very into more of a headcanons and Personal Interpretations area than a, like, canon analysis. in part bc the show dosen’t give us a ton of content of these characters (i mean, there’s plenty of simon content as ice king but im talking about pre and post ice king simon here). but yea im just gonna ramble. dont take this super seriously btw guys. again a lot of this is just personal Interpretation yknow

SO i think simon is definitely a “gets lost in the details guy”. at least like, overall. that man overanalyzes things until he goes into a state of paralysis and then he just passes out. in some ways he might better about this post being-freed-from-the-curse, on the basis of "had to survive the apocalypse by thinking on his feet", but also worse about it bc of the lasting impacts of having been ice king. because one of the Big Things about ice king is that he almost never thought anything through and just did things as soon as he thought of them. i think simon probably really wants to be Not Like Ice King and so might be scared of making choices too fast or acting too impulsive. i imagine he’s very worried about behaving like ice king and thats something thats in the back of his mind most of the time, impacting his confidence in his own choices & actions. but also f&c sorta shows that he has that issue of trauma responses causing him to have emotional outbursts and make quick decisions. so thats something to keep in mind.

i think he's, like stuck in a state of being scared to do things without thinking really hard abt them but then sometimes he does that and then he usually regrets it and feels really awful afterwards. not always guilty-awful even. f&c seems to show him feeling angry a lot. to me simon deals not just with guilt over being ice king or recovering from being ice king or Having strong reactions to things or making choices he regrets… but also with Anger At The Situation - a lot of feeling confused and not sure what to do and overwhelmed, i think . (i like that they let him be angry and frustrated, not just sad and depressed. i think this is very realistic to trauma related emotional responses)

the other thing abt simon is he tends to follow other people's lead on a lot of things. i think he just likes not having to deal with the pressure of making decisions. he seems more inclined to lead around f&c than around, like, finn, though. and betty. but i think that’s in part because he was taking on a protector role w them. but yeah. he does a lot of crazy shit in f&c but very noticeably does not really act as a lead decision maker. until they get to the vampire world and they get attacked for a second that man is yelling orders and breaking a chair over his knee and pulling out a pocket knife to carve it into a stake lighting fast. which i loved that. i loved that he gained so much confidence from being in Panic Mode when confronted w vampires Because those where something he had to deal with in the apocalypse when raising marcy. he had to know what to do for marcys sake. other than that tho he's usually making suggestions at most. and agreeing to do scary crazy shit lmao . EXCEPT he decides on his own in secret to try and contact golb . hehe (motivated by wants to see his wife)

(it also seems like when he feels more confident in something he's much more capable of making choices. (makes sense) he wasnt paralyzed by anxiety when going on that research expedition with betty, probably because he was literally getting a phd (or had a phd, the show was so weird abt that) in that subject. makes sense he knows what he's doing. and also is interesting bc in ep2 of fionna and cake when he goes on an Adventure with finn he's very scared and nervous, but then talks about how he "used to be quite the adventurer in [his] day", which fits into the theme f&c had w his character where he feels out of place and less confident bc his whole ass profession isn't really relevant anymore, and everything is so different from how it used to be. so yeah. current simon has even less self confidence and confidence in his own decision making than Back In The Day simon bc of that)

id like to say that…. i think that the fact that it took betty only a few years to summon and eldritch god to free simon from his curse meanwhile it took simon 12 years to get to the point where he kidnapped a guy to use in a summoning ritual to talk to betty is interesting. bc i really do think they both love each other, and are both obsessive and co dependent. but betty went off the deep end so fast, meanwhile simon took a lot longer to do something comparatively Less Evil for betty. i think that a lot of this is because simon is just less confident in his choices, more nervous about making decisions, and *slower* at making decisions. in part because of a obsessive focus on details (i also think a buncha other stuff contributed to the difference in how long it took betty vs simon to do differing levels of fucked up shit for eachother but Yeah that’s the relevant part.)

i wouldn't say betty is a "think about the big picture, ignore the details" person though, necessarily. maybe compared to simon she is, but she's still a huge fucking nerd. she's an academic! to me she's someone who takes issues and situations that are more subjective and translates them into concretely structured language in order to guide herself through what actions she should take (my friend responded to this with “so what youre saying is betty took a philosophy class and was like ‘aw yes! Math!’” and yeah that is exactly what im saying)

i feel like canon sort of implies this, and definitely doesn't Not Imply It, but i also think canon didn't flesh out her character very well, so in a lot of ways im making my own assertions. but i think she's the type of person who likes to view things in ways that are ....not necessarily less complicated, but more concrete? like she can handle an uber complicated math problem with ease, but the way a math problem is complicated is entirely different from the way a social interaction is complicated, you know. and she's way better equipped for the first one.

so, basically, i think betty would be like: Dosent see the bigger picture.... but in a different way from simon, where instead of getting caught up on and overwhelmed by all the little details, she picks a specific angle to view the situation and then focuses on That, often to the detriment of viewing things from a wider, more complex and nuanced perspective. so better at seeing the bigger picture than simon, but still can miss a Lot…

i also feel like she leans towards viewing things as "identify a problem/issue, then find away to eliminate it" and "identify a goal, and find a way to reach it" . like i feel like she'd tackle social and personal situations in this way. it's not like she can't do things for fun or anything, but like, if she upset simon she'd go into Solving A Problem Mode and be like: “The issue is Simon Is Upset. The goal is Make Simon Not Upset. First i have to identify Why simon is Upset, and then how to make him Not Upset. This is The Current Goal I Must Complete.” like, not in an abstract sense. like shes literally narrating that to herself. i think she likes to focus in on  "what's wrong here and how do i fix it" as opposed to dwelling on emotions and exploring nuance. (which may be a contributor to how she ended up in that “there’s so little me left anymore” state by temple of mars: she was so focused on Fixing the Problem that she didn’t allow herself to really process her feelings too deeply and that took a toll on her mental health.)

simon is maybe more aware of nuance, which could be part of why he gets caught up on details because he's like "this CANT be properly categorized into something more straightforward, there's actually a billion TRILLION little details and that is stressful". like simon desperately wishes things could be simplified down more but is usually like "actually no, a million things are happening actually". he's like me he would get upset if asked to rate his pain or feelings on a number scale at the doctor (i can’t do that shit for the life of me. Those things are far too complicated to put on a number scale in my eyes). meanwhile betty just will force things into concrete categories and steps and factors that Make Sense To Her with intense fervor and if she starts to have a "this is too complicated to address" moment she feels threatened and then tries very hard to reprocess things in a way that is easier, or just does her best to ignore the things that make stuff too complicated to address

i think betty tends to view things in medium-sized chunks that incorporate some but Not All details in a situation, and that she cares about small details and being thorough but feels like accomplishing the goal is the most important thing, so is willing and able to make a quick decision if she feels it's the only choice. like. she had a limited time before the portal closed, and she chose to jump through it, because she thought "the problem is that im not with simon. simon is on the other side of the portal. ill go there" it's not that she doesn't like to think things through. she loves to think things through! its just that OVERALL she is a Doer who wants to solve the problem and thinks taking action and doing something is way better than sitting there and missing an opportunity. betty will think through the details if she has time, but if she doesnt, she just breaks things down into whatever is most easy to digest and process, and then takes the option that seems.like it will get the most desired outcome based on the available info. and also shes just very confident and headstrong. and THATS.  why she punched bella noche

In my eyes betty likes having rules and defined, structured processes about what to do or how to deal with stuff. and she dosen’t really like changing those. she's very autistic. she hates change i think. so does simon. but i think that simon would be more likely to be like: the change in situation is so upsetting that it's making it harder to think and process things, so he just gets overwhelmed and has an even harder time addressing whatever is happening or comprehending it. meanwhile betty is quick to try and find the easiest way to rerout her thinking to fit the new change, she's just really fucking pissed off and stressed out about it (part of this to me is she hates feeling powerless & hates feeling like she might fail). she copes with changes in her surroundings by finding a way to connect the changed situation as well and as fast as possible with her pre existing methods of tackling situations. i think bettys also worse at handling changes in people than changes in situation. to quote my friend when we where texting about this “Situations dont have feelings”.

Like. Betty has so many skills. so much knowledge. but isn’t great with people. And she gets to know people and figures out how to understand them and then THEY CHANGE??? ILLEGAL. and so… like…this is literally her whole thing with simon!! elements seems to imply that betty originally views things as "simon is cursed, i have to fix the curse". but when she makes an attempt to meet simon where he’s at and try to interact with him as ice king, she is unable to handle it. she is upset that he is different, so much so that she concludes the only way to view things is to see them as separate people, even though it was implied that she wasn't doing that before! she was approaching it like he was Simon With Memory Loss…..but then she does her villain betrayal scene and now she's all "things will be back to just me and simon, and you won't exist" . meaning before she directly started interacting with him, she was able to view him as simon, but when she did interact with him for an extended period of time and found out how different he had become, she felt so threatened by this that the only way she could handle it was by switching her view in order to not have to confront the idea that simon could have changed that much. it also meant switching her view to a place where she would be okay hurting simon. but when he starts to protest, get upset, ask what's wrong, and worst of all, insist that he's worthy of respect, that starts to stress her out and she has to talk out loud to herself to reassure herself that she's doing the right thing

and in that scene simon goes "i don't know who this simon guy is, im ice king", which i think is a Big line - he's responded to simon in the past, but doesnt always. Like. he's inconsistent in whether or not he's aware that's a way of referring to him, which makes sense bc he seems to have memory lapses where he remembers things fine one minute and forgets them the next, them remembers about them way later. anyway having him say that simultaneously provides a Confirmation of bettys new perspective, but it also… isn’t meant to. i feel like, to the audience, its saying that "simon has changed so much, he's entirely different now. and this is the way things are, and betty should accept this, but she cant" . to betty its telling her she’s right, but that kind of sucks, because she’s not totally sure how much she wants to be right (she dosen’t want this to be simon, but she also dosen’t want simon to be gone)

(i think the idea of betty Swapping her perspective abt simon during elements as a coping strategy to deal w the panic of What If Simon Is Different + the moral dilemma of potentially hurting him fits nicely into the "betty has bpd" interpretation . my girl is splitting)

(also ik many people interpret simon and ice king as Literally being entirely different people but tbh i think that is way less interesting and doesn't make a lot of sense with the canon. but also ik this is partially because what people consider to be "different people" is subjective.  like it depends somewhat on ur perception of identity and stuff. also having different interpretations is valid and fair and all that - and adventure time is often very loose in its text and there’s lots of ways to interpret it. but whatever man im just saying my feelings and That is and Always Will Be the Same guy to me and i think that perspective is waay more interesting to explore than simon getting possessed by an alternate personality or whatever. so im just going under that interpretation….. i think some ppl would perceive the "im ice king" line as being a conformation of them as separate people but to me it's a more abstract representation of the idea that a Drastic Change has taken place that Cannot be reversed!!.... which. Ok eventually it is but tbh i doubt they even knew how they'd end the show by this point and i still think in the context of elements it still works very well as a way driving home both how betty is Not Handling the Situation Well while also making you empathize with her bc u also know how hard that must have been for her to hear)

i think betty is very person-oriented in a unique way!!she's codependent while also being low empathy, introverted, and in many ways socially inept,  which is an interesting combo! i really get the vibe that she has always struggled socially and had trouble fitting in, so attaches really heavily to people who she does feel a connection to, and works really, really hard to maintain the relationships she has. i like to think she’s scared of rejection…

i think simon is much more empathetic, emotion-driven, and in tune with others than betty, but i also think he can be Very bad at actually understanding other people on many levels - like with his obliviousness to betty being interested in him romantically until she spelled it out for him, or to the impact of bettys earlier sacrifices. simon also, with the mission to get the crown in f&c, despite his empathetic nature and love for his friends, does not seem to consider that putting the crown on would upset his friends. This shows a "focusing on one thing and missing something else" scenario, and perhaps more of a "thinking abt the big picture" (saving f&c's world) over the details (friends would be sad) thing. so that's interesting. (although i think part of this example in particular stems from his self hatred preventing him from really thinking that his friends would be upset if he did that. but in a sense it is focusing on big picture over details). So theres some nuance there i think

BUT Anyway, i think this issue probably is mainly with him struggling to read people, or fully understand others perspectives, despite caring deeply about people and feeling Upset when he can tell other people are Upset. he cares and he feels very emotionally connected to people, especially people he cares about…. he just isn't that great at picking up on things sometimes. (also. Worth noting, i think its def shown that while simon may be very caring towards his friends and is a generally nice and approachable, well meaning person who wants whats best for other people. He still is very capable of Hating People and Doing Bad Things On Purpose. Don’t want to ignore that. also hes very desensitized to bad things happening in many respects lmao. So its not like hes just always super nice and caring and amazing. He still murdered choose goose to death and That is via the power of choose goose being annoying and Simon Loving Betty)

Betty also struggles to understand other people but instead of being downright oblivious to certain things or being unsure and nervous she finds relating to people and understanding their actions and emotions to be actively difficult and makes an active effort to understand people in a bit of a scientist-looking-at-a-subject way. Which can be helpful sometimes and less helpful other times. like. it's good that she has a way to navigate social interactions . but also that way of addressing things isn't always conductive to a healthy relationship, especially when she doesn't really let simon in on the fact that she's making these sort of analyses where she's like "what will maximize Simon Being Happy and how do i accomplish this" sometimes to her own detriment.  simon is just like "wow betty is so confident and good at knowing what she wants" meanwhile betty is like "i will make the best choice For Simon" betty i think is better than simon at reading people but not good at Empathizing With Others Emotions or really Understanding or relating to the emotions behind their actions .

she also is shown to, despite caring So much about simon, not be very considerate or caring towards others (not the same as being low empathy & etc dw im not equating them. Its just on the topic of How She Views Others!!!). To be fair, we don’t see nearly enough of her interacting with people besides simon, but i like to think that she just sorta struggles to really care about and have compassion for Random People but deeply cares about those she is Really close too (but as far as we know, thats just simon)

OVERALLi think they see the world very similarly in some ways and very differently in others and it's an interesting balance. also they are both Autistic. In cconclusion !!

betty

likes to break things down into concrete concepts because she struggles to comprehend more subjective and nuanced experiences, especially in social situations + Feels more comfortable approaching things from a “scientific” perspective because it is familiar and easy for her to navigate; threatened by uncertainty and comforted by things that are more straightforward and well-defined

doesn't dwell on things a ton (esp not as much as simon) because she's very goal-oriented and focused on the Now. she wants to get to the next step. that often then means ignoring Her Own Feelings Or Needs if she deems Other Things to be more relevant or important than them (not good for your mental health) + this also means she’s better at making quick decisions! she cares about details and prefers to have All The Relevant Info but is willing and able to cut things down to a “wider-picture” that helps her make whatever choices will help her achieve her goal - that wider picture just may not always be the Full Actual wider picture.

struggles to put herself in other people's shoes - finds it easier to view herself as an outside party with the goal of achieving the ideal outcome in a social situation. In general has low empathy and struggles to understand/relate to others feelings, which impacts her perspective on things and how she handles/views situations.

(not really mentioned earlier but idk where else to put it:) i also think she has that Autism Trait where you focus in on a specific goal you want to achieve and struggle to focus on anything else until it's accomplished (and that that sort of thinking pattern happened with curing simons curse). where you put off doing anything, even things you could do, until something that you Need to happen (according to your brain, not the real world) happens.  Betty put off being person until simon was saved. she put Everything on hold until she accomplished her mission. and this is in a way a form of not seeing the bigger picture, because its overly focusing on a specific thing at the expense of others

(bettys better at balancing seeing the details & the big picture in a sense, but more like. she picks a medium sized chunk of what is going on and focuses on that and acknowledges details when able to but is willing and able to make split second decisions based on little info and is confident in doing so. but whereas i think simon might have more of a "sees the whole big picture but then gets caught up on the details" thing going on, i think betty just straight up focuses on One Portion of something, of varying sizes, which could or could not he considered a "detail", but then almost completely ignores everything else, viewing things as individual challenges or events that need to be addressed before anything else can be)

simon 

is someone who really likes to think things through, and can easily get hung up on details and can easily get overwhelmed by those details and sent into a state of anxiety-fueled-spiraling or decision making paralysis

this is worse probably for Current simon because he’s also Trying To DIstance Himself from his identity as ice king, and as ice king he had no impulse control and thought things through very little. so simon likely puts even more pressure on himself to think things through! unfortunately hes also Going Through A Lot Emotionally and sometimes that’s too much and he Dosen’t think things through and just acts on how he’s feeling. And that makes him feel Worse about himself and just Everything in general

he is more confident with his decision making skills if he feels more prepared/knowledgeable on the subject at hand or is taking on a caretaker role (like with marcy, or f&c). but currently he dosen’t have a lot of that going on so that kinda sucks for his self confidence. 

simon is better at empathizing with people than betty & at creating connections with others & is more caring towards people he dosen’t know that well - and so may consider Other People more in his perspectives on things. But on the other hand hes not always the best at reading people or understanding their perspectives, even if he feels emotional connections and cares about people, so he can easily overlook other people’s struggles or perspectives within an issue - even if he cares deeply about their wellbeing (very relevant to his relationship with betty)

he’s generally more emotion driven than betty, and dwells on & ruminates about his feelings, sometimes to the point of obscuring his understanding of a situation or his ability to engage with it. On The Other Hand this means he at least acknowledges how he’s feeling meanwhile betty is like “im classifying that as irrelevant information until further notice” lmao. 

he’s better at understanding nuance & subjectivity than betty but this contributes to his habit of getting-overwhelmed by everything & Overthinking

(simon focuses on details over the big picture overall. he easily gets caught up in details and panics. he traps himself in cycles of worrying about details that can paralyze him when making decisions, and so prefers to not have to make choices. BUT simons "paralyzed with fear of making decisions" state can often be overturned by the power of Having Strong Emotions and his decisions may be Less Good because of the power of not being great and understanding other people. he's very emotion-driven and currently suffering from a billion mental health issues so sometimes all that gets in the way of his natural over-thinking. hes got a better understanding of nuance than betty & is better at Empathizing with others and more considerate but not all too great at reading them or recognizing others Feelings or Behaviors)

I THINK I REPEATED A LOT IN THIS. AGAIN, KIND OF JUST RAMBLING. HOPEFULLY IT WAS SOMEWHAT COHERENT

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

I have reached the point of "regular sleep" where the insomnia hours have completely devoured my original sleeping time. I lay there relaxing for hours on end until it's nearly 5am and I have to get up, then I need to be awake from 5 until at least 10 so I can run errands safely, and then I can only sleep from about 10am until 2 pm...

That's 4 hours out of 24, with chronic fatigue

And yet sleeping that little doesn't help me fall asleep any faster the next night.

And that's the ongoing problem.

I am exhausted so I sleep

My brain forms and breaks patterns at a single repetition so I sleep at the same time the next day

This keeps up for a week of okay sleep

I start experiencing really wild dreams or worse depending on how long I push myself to stay on this existing schedule and not just nap when I am tired or get the sudden overwhelming sleepies

This escalated until insomnia and alertness completely overtakes the times of day my brain had JUST decided it wanted to be sleeping

This happens twice as fast when I am trying to sleep at night rather than during the day

No matter how many migraines I force myself awake through to sleep at bedtime, once it gets to bedtime I am so awake and alert I cannot physically sleep even if I take melatonin or sleeping pills, or both and lay there thinking calm thoughts, even for 10 hours

I get so exhausted I just let my body sleep whenever it wants and the cycle starts again

The only alternative I have ever had is just sleep when I get sleepy, which can be for up to 16 hours a day.

The problem is that tends to be during the day. It has been that way since I was a literal baby. My mothers tells me stories about me being so sleepy all day I'd fall asleep in my food and being awake all night cooing quietly to myself on the baby monitor. She tells me stories about me being a toddler and getting up in the middle of the night to play.

So now, my options are:

Try to force myself to stay awake all day and hope that means I can sleep tonight at 6 pm, which looks doubtful and will give me a migraine while I have no advil left in the house, and which will perpetuate the increasing night terrors, sleep paralysis and waking-up/falling asleep hallucinations problem... OR

Let myself sleep during the 4 hours my brain will let me and then continue this cycle of only sleeping 4 hours a day and being too exhausted to do anything.

Caffeine hasn't been helping, not even having both tea and coke right before my 10 am nap time. All it does is focus me, which -if I am already tired- just helps me fall asleep. Caffeine before my bedtime doesn't help because the problem is already that I feel too alert...

Complicating this is the fact that Pumpkin is DEAD SET on screaming every 3 hours for food and will not fucking quit it even when we are on a regular schedule. So on the off chance I don't wake up on my own after useless intervals, he does it.

I just want to sleep at night during regular times and wake up feeling rested. That is all I want. That is all I have ever wanted, but people keep acting like my irregular sleeping patterns are a choice or a product of me not trying hard enough.

My last option is go to bed now and ride the sleepiness all day and night if I can and maybe finally wake up at 3am tomorrow, but the problem is that requires skipping meals. Also Pumpkin will scream the entire time because he won't just eat the food that's already in his dish.

Failing all that, I let my schedule flip and be nocturnal.

The problem with that is then I can't clean or organize anything because that would be making noise at night. My neighbours are okay blasting dance music till midnight, but if I make noise cleaning they will try to report me.

Maybe if I keep myself warm, keep sipping hot drinks and eating a lot, and keep myself moving periodically and watching something, I can stay awake without a splitting headache and continue the regular sleep experiment.

[hanxanth]

Future Translation Process

Hello everyone, I’m back at it! After this last month off to do a work thing, I realized how much time I spend on translating, and how overwhelming it can become when I have so much going on. Sometimes the staggering amount of stories, chapters, Memory Pieces, plus all the event/gacha updates on the wiki puts me off the whole thing. The paralysis of too many choices. 

And so I have made a decision. If you go to my main page, https://hanxanthtranslations.com/ you will now see a series of progress bars at the top. I have decided to try and plow through the Main Story and focus only on that, in part because I know a lot of people want to read it, and it has a clear end (unlike prince stories and Memory Pieces which just keep going!). I am also collaborating on this translation with someone else, which is why you’ll see the progress bars don’t move in order. Be aware that just because a chapter is translated does not mean it is posted. I’ll make another announcement here when the chapters have been coded and uploaded to the wiki (I won’t be hosting them on my website just to keep things together.)

Prince stories are on hold but feel free to keep adding votes and suggestions to the poll. Hopefully having set my focus to only one translation will help me stay on task and get this out there for everyone to read. Wish me luck, and thank you for your support!

[neurodivergientqueerthoughts]

Introduction

Have you been wondering what ADHD is really like? This will not be biased towards one minority of people who have ADHD. It will be focused on the big picture.

This document will explain the seriousness of ADHD and everything that may come with it. Make sure to do more research into ADHD, as I am not an expert (although I, myself, have ADHD). In this, I go into detail about different aspects of ADHD and why it should not be taken lightly.

What is ADHD?

(Note: Not everyone with ADHD has these symptoms. They can vary from person to person.)

Constant activity going on internally (Hyperactivity)

Hyperfixations

Hyperfocusing

Depression (Co-occurring)

Anxiety (Co-occurring)

Sensory Processing Disorder

Executive Dysfunction

Auditory Processing Disorder (Co-occurring)

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria

Insomnia / Sleep issues

Inability to focus

Difficulty switching tasks

Inability to stick to one task

Mood swings

Difficulty regulating emotions

Choice paralysis

Problems with focusing

Poor impulse control

Trouble recalling things, such as commonly used words

Exhaustion levels

Imposter syndrome

Overwhelm

Overstimulation / Sensory Overload

Understimulation

Memory issues

Motivation issues

Time blindness

Poor sense of time

Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (Co-occurring)

Extreme boredom

Going into Detail

Executive Dysfunction/ADHD Paralysis:

A feeling of constantly ‘waiting for something’, without knowing what or why.

Confusion as to how to start or do a task.

A feeling of being completely overwhelmed, even by mundane tasks, to a point of being unable to do the task or function.

A very good description of how this can feel is “a fuzzy-restless feeling when you need to do something but your brain won’t focus on anything… you’re silently begging yourself to just do one thing but instead you’re [sitting there] even though you don’t even want to be. It’s like your head is filled with heavy electric cotton… you’re both uncomfortable and unable to stop.”

This is not the same thing as procrastination or laziness. This occurs with tasks that the person is afraid to do, does not want to do, or even wants to do. Laziness means that a person does not feel like doing something, but they could if they wanted to. Executive dysfunction/ADHD paralysis can be described as something a person has been trying to do for [insert amount of time between minutes and months/years], but they physically cannot do the task and end up feeling like a failure because of that. It is debilitating.

Hyperfixation/Hyperfocus:

An extreme obsession over something. This can be creating something, finding out everything about something, or just something that creates extreme emotions in somebody.

This obsession can easily become unhealthy as the person may forget to take care of themselves due to it. However, these hyperfixations cause extreme joy or curiosity in the person.

Difficulty switching tasks:

“When you have ADHD, task switching can often be difficult. You might feel like you're stuck in a gear. It might be you're trying to start, and your gears just keep on grinding. Other times you may want to stop but the gear just stays in place because you're hyper-focusing on whatever you're doing.”

Inability to stick to one task:

People with ADHD often have issues with motivation, which leads to many unfinished projects.

If a task does not give a person with ADHD dopamine, they are often unable to complete the task (i.e. homework; chores).

Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome:

Instead of having a regular circadian rhythm, with sleeping hours from 11 pm to 7 am, people have an irregular pattern of 2 am to about 10 am.

These times are flexible. However, this means that people with ADHD tend to have issues with falling asleep at a “normal time”.

Extreme boredom:

People with ADHD have issues with dopamine and serotonin.

There are moments when boredom can be painful. People with ADHD can be bored to tears due to extreme emotions and a lack of dopamine.

Time Processing:

If somebody has to leave at 8 am and they wake up at 5:30, they will think that they have two hours or less to get ready. Time seems to pass without a pattern or rhythm.

“Today is Monday, but tomorrow is Tuesday and I have class. After that is Wednesday: I’m having lunch with my mom. Then on Thursday, I have a night class which means it’s basically already Friday and this week is already over.”

Time Blindness:

Not knowing how much time has passed based on their ‘internal clock’; they don’t have one!

Being completely unaware of how much time something will take.

Memory issues:

With ADHD, memory can be greatly affected. Some things will be forgotten very quickly, and some things can be over-remembered.

Difficulty regulating emotions:

“Processing emotions starts in the brain. Sometimes the working memory impairments of ADHD allow a momentary emotion to become too strong, flooding the brain with one intense emotion.” -Thomas Brown, PhD

Brain imaging shows that delayed rewards don’t register for people with ADHD. They are more motivated by the instant gratification that strong emotions deliver.

As a result, a person with ADHD may struggle to deal rationally and realistically with events that are stressful, but not of grave concern.

Motivation issues:

People with ADHD have much lower levels of dopamine than those without ADHD. This causes the brain to constantly crave dopamine.

If a task is not providing the dopamine the brain wants, it will make a person with ADHD less motivated to complete the task, or even start it.

Overstimulation / Sensory Overload:

Information reaching the senses feels like an assault of competing stimuli.

Understimulation:

Outside stimuli are dulled, as if a shade has been pulled over the environment, muting sights, sounds, and touch. These people crave extra stimulation to feel alive.

Exhaustion levels:

Feeling fatigued and tired all the time can actually be related to ADHD. Due to low dopamine levels, people with ADHD can feel exhausted even after getting ample amounts of sleep.

Ironically, people can get bursts of energy from ADHD as well. This can be from hyperactivity or high amounts of dopamine.

Imposter Syndrome:

Feeling like a fraud and doubting your own abilities.

Somebody who is intelligent and who has ADHD can have imposter syndrome towards both. They are not related to each other, but the ways they are portrayed in media causes imposter syndrome.

Auditory Processing Disorder:

Things can take longer to process when somebody hears them than when they see/read them.

The amount or complexity of noise around somebody can affect how they hear things.

Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria:

Extreme anxiety towards being criticized or rejected by others, despite their relationship with the person.

Extreme pain or emotional sensitivity is caused by a sense of ‘rejection’.

Hyperactivity:

This is not always visible, if at all. There is constant activity going on inside of a person’s head when they have ADHD.

This creates difficulty with sleep and relaxation.

If visible, it usually takes the form of fidgeting or stimming.

“Dealing” with ADHD

ADHD cannot be fixed, but some things can help people work with it. The coping mechanisms vary from person to person, and they aren’t always going to work. Getting diagnosed with ADHD is the best step to take before anything else, as trained professionals can help with ADHD symptoms.

It is important to understand that ADHD is a learning and doing disability. It affects every aspect of life, but it isn’t a bad thing! Many things with ADHD can be positive as well. Hyperfocusing can lead to a lot of productivity! Additionally, people with ADHD are known to be more creative and inventive (according to numerous studies). Empathy and compassion are higher in individuals with ADHD. People with ADHD even have a stronger moral compass!

[20moonchild21]

๛Struggling

Gif by @minyoongihoseok

Pairing: Poly!BTS x girlfriend!reader

Warnings: hardcore fluff, slight swearing

Words: 3400+

ッ

๛匕he one where she struggles with money∙ꨄ

"What do you mean, you can't pay me this month?" You asked angrily, as you drove your hands through your hair.

"I am sorry, but what should I do? Rents are high these days. If I don't pay..." Your boss tried to defended himself with the same excuses he had given you before.

"Rents are hight? Are you serious right now?" You interrupted him quickly, getting angrier with every word he said. "What do you think I pay my rent with? Paperclips and stones? I need this money or else I have to quit my apartment. We have a contract. You have to pay me, please!"

Times were hard these days. The pandemic had hit the country hard, but aftermath was even worse. Most people were still too afraid to go out onto the streets, rather staying home and shopping online for everything, which causes you a big problem.

For years you had worked in a small bakery, that was known for their extravagant pastries and specialities. The pay wasn't much, but you loved your creative job.

Seeing people smiling when they see their wedding cake for the first time, was one of the best thing coming along with you job, but with no weddings allowed, there was no one to buy those expensive cakes. And the few people buying small cupcakes wasn't enough for keeping the business alive.

Of course you knew that your boss's hands were tight, as well as yours. He had to pay his rent, but so did you.

"I am so sorry." He said again, sounding almost sad. "But I can't give you this money. We made almost zero sales this month. My pockets are empty. I already need to take my own, private money to save the shop, or else I can close next month."

You closed your eyes, as your hands were gripping the armrest of the chair you were sitting on. You weren't the type to yell or scream at people when things didn't go the way you like it, but this time, you just wished to yell out all your frustration at him.

Everything came together at this point, which made it hard for you to keep calm.

You hadn't seen your boyfriends in over 3 weeks, because they were stuck in quarantine at home after coming back from a project filming abroad.

Then, your period had started unannounced this morning, causing you a ruined trouser and cramps, along with a heavy headache.

And now it seemed like you even would be homeless next month, because you weren't able to afford your rent.

You pressed you eyes closer together, trying to hold back the swelling tears.

"Maybe you have someone who could borrow...." You boss began again, but you didn't want to head what he was about to say.

Making depts was the last thing you wanted to make. You mother had always raised you to earn your own money, and pay for the thing you want to have yourself.

Asking someone for money would lead you to asking for more and more and more, until you can't pay that someone back. The same situation you were stuck in now.

"It's okay." You said quietly. "I will find a solution. Have a nice weekend."

You bent down, grabbing for you bag and leaving the small office, heading straight back home.

The next morning was hard for you. The letter lying in your mailbox in evening wasn't helping to cheer up your mood. You landlord was getting more and more impatient, waiting for his rent to be paid. You were already 3 weeks late with you rent, and slowly he was running out of sympathy.

The words he wrote held you up from sleep the whole night, causing you to desperately think about a solution for this problem:

"...termination without notice if the rent is not be paid within the next two weeks..."

You had cried a lot this last night. Never in you life you had thought that you would end up like this, broke and desperate. You even had considered to jump over your pride and ask your boyfriends, who clearly had enough money, to help you out. But you quickly threw away this option, not wanting to use them because of their money.

With no other option left, you found yourself sitting on your laptop, checking you bank account. Of course you never spend all your money all at once. You had laid back a certain amount of money, your life savings, that you had sworn to never touch.

This money was so important for you, because it was meant to be spend into your future. A future that included your boyfriends, a own house, a car.....children.

Of course, you knew that each of your boyfriends were millionaires, multiplied with 7.

If you wanted, you would never have to go to work ever again. With their money, they could probably buy you 10 houses, 9 cars, 5 horses, a plane and everything you could ever wish for.

But that had never been your goal in life. You didn't want them to pay everything for you. They had own dreams, and each of them had worked hard to earn this much money. You couldn't and you wouldn't take advantages of that.

"Fuck." You whispered, as your head sunk onto the table you were sitting on.

By now, you couldn't hold back your tears anymore.

You computer screen showed your online bank account, listing the accounts you had created years agon. Among them the one that was your last chance to not be homeless soon:

Life Savings.

As you clicked on the link, a new window opened on your screen, showing you all the amount of money you had saved.

4,516 $

You stared at this number. Of course, this didn't sound too much in the first moment, but you were still young, and with 4000$ you would easily come through another 4 months, even more if you would be economical.

The tears were still running down your plump cheeks, rolling over your chin and staining your blue shirt. You didn't want to do that at all, but you had no other choice.

The only person you would have been brave enough to ask for help, was your mom. Sadly, she died 5 years ago, with all her bereaved money spent for the hospital bills and the funeral.

You sighed heavily. There was no going back now. You would transfer the money to your landlord today, before he could kick you out.

You were about to click the small 'Transfers' button, when suddenly your doorbell rang. You flinched heavily when the loud noise rang through you ear, obviously not expecting someone today.

You stood up and walked out of your bedroom, over to the front door.

Immediately when you opened the door, a bouquet of red roses blocked your view. You let out a small shriek, when the red flowers sunk down, revealing a familiar face behind it.

"Hello." Jimin flashed you his beautiful smile, before he pushed the flowers into Namjoon's arms, stepping forward and lifting you into his arms.

"Oh my god." You breathed out as you broke away from you paralysis. You wrapped your arms highly around the silver haired boy, who was still hugging you. "You are here."

"Jimin, don't break her." You heard Yoongi's deep voice from behind. "We still need her."

He tugged Jimin's shirt, until he let you down onto the floor, pouting as he had to pull away from you. He pressed a gentle kiss to your nose one last time, before the next boy stepped forward.

Their very presence was enough for you to calm down from the past stressing days. Having them squeezing you in their arms, kissing you all over your face made you feel so loved and invulnerable in the moment.

"May we step in?" Jin asked as he pulled away from you.

Still overwhelmed from their sudden visit, you looked at him confused. He gestured his hand into your apartment. You quickly stepped away from the doorway, letting them step inside.

"Are you okay, Jagiya (Honey)? You look a little bit pale." Jungkook asked as he stepped in front of you.

He lifted his hand up towards your forehead, feeling if you had a fever. But your skin felt cold under his touch.

"I am just – I am just surprise that you...." You began to stutter as they all stared at you.

They could tell that something was up with you. Being together for almost 3 years now, they knew that you would began to slightly stutter when you try to hide something. So you had to think about an excuse, before one of them would ask more questions.

"What are you even doing here?" Was the first thing that came into your mind. "Shouldn't you be in quarantine or something?"

"Silly Jagiya." Jungkook laughed as he cupped your face into his big, manly (and now tattooed) hands, pressing a wet kiss onto your nose. "Three weeks are over. We can leave the dorm again, so we decided to surprise you!"

The boys quickly let go of your strange behaviour. You all went into your living room where Hoseok and Tae were already pulling out your sofa, that way you would all fit on it. As soon as they placed the cushions back onto the sofa, you were lifted from the ground a thrown onto it.

"Hey!" You laughed and giggled as Jimin crawled over you.

He laid his much heavier body onto your smaller one, trapping you under him. He grabbed for you wrists, pulling them up over your head, where he pinned them down onto the soft fabric. With his mouth, he placed a line of kisses from your collarbone up to your ear.

"I missed you so much." He whispered as he nibbled the sensitive skin of your ear. "I thought about you a lot during quarantine, Sweetie."

You knew what he wanted from you. As Namjoon once said, Jimin needed indeed a lot of love and attention, but you loved to give it to him. Sadly, you had to disappoint him this time.

He was already pulling and tugging on your shirt, when you brought your mouth up to his ear.

"I am on my period." You whispered in that sexy voice you knew he normally loved.

He pulled away from you, looking into your eyes deeply.

"Are you serious?" He whined as he let go of your arms.

You were already laughing hard when the other finally came from the kitchen with snacks and drinks in their hands.

"What are you laughing at, Jagyia?" Tae asked as he plopped down next to you. "And why is he already pouting?"

He gestured for Jimin, who had crawled off of you, and was now lying beside you, hiding his face in your chest as you drove your fingers through his soft hair.

"She is being mean." He mumbled against your chest. "Stacking me three weeks in quarantine, with no one to care for me, and now that I have the chance to finally love my girlfriend again, she is one her period. You did this on purpose, didn't you?"

"We had phone sex almost ever day." You laughed at him as you pressed a kiss into his hair.

"But this isn't the same." He still whined. "And we hadn't had sex yesterday. So you can't say every day. And beside, sex over the phone isn't the same..."

You sighed at his words. You forgot to call them the previous evening, because of all the stress going on with your work and apartment.

"I am sorry." You said, as you threw your head back into the soft cushions. "I was just so stressed with work and stuff."

"Is everything okay with work?" Yoongi asked as he took your hand. "It must be hard for you when no weddings are allowed."

For a moment, your thought about telling them about the trouble your boss had with keeping the business going, but you decided to not bother them with your problems. They had enough stress with their band.

"Yes, yes, Everything is fine." You quickly tried brushed his concerns off. "We have a lot of pre orderings and stuff."

The topic quickly changed. The boys told you everything they did while stuck up in quarantine. They had used the time to work on their new album, which they wanted to do on their own. They told you how recording and producing was going.

"Hey, Aein (Sweetheart)?" Namjoon suddenly spoke up. You lifted your head from Hoseok's chest to look up at him. "Have you seen my green shirt by any chance? I couldn't find it anywhere at the dorm."

"Oh yes." You quickly said. "You forgot it the evening before you left. I washed and folded it on my desk. You can get it."

He nodded and got up from the sofa to walk up towards you bedroom. The other boys meanwhile where swarming about the evening before they left for America three weeks ago, complaining how bad they need you.

ꕀ

Namjoon had reached your bedroom door quickly.

He pushed it open and stepped inside. Immediately, he smiled when he saw your tidy bedroom. You have always been an organized person, which he admired, because he absolutely wasn't able to hold his room at home tidy.

He looked around, and spotted his green shirt, carefully folded on the table next to your laptop. He passed your bed and was about to reach his hand out for the piece of fabric, when his eyes fell onto the sheet of paper lying onto your desk.

He didn't want to invade your privacy, but the headline of the sheet caught his attention.

"Admonition: Pay your rent." Was written at the top of the paper.

His eyebrows cocked up. You didn't mention to them that you were laid with paying your rent this month. Normally, you didn't keep any secrets from each other.

He quickly read over the text. It seemed like you not only forgot to pay your rent, but you had delayed the day of paying several times. His eyes shifted over to your laptop, that was still opened up from when you were earlier working on it.

He entered the password, and the window of your bank account popped open. He saw which account you had opened, and it shocked him. He knew about your life savings, and he was slowly combining the figures.

You sometimes had mentioned that you didn't eared much money with your job, but you had never before complained about being not able to pay for your rent. Why would you take your life saving, instead of asking one of the boys or him for help? They would always help you out.

He stood up from the desk and walked towards the door. He quickly had to ask you about the rent topic, before you would do something you will regret later.

"Aein!" He called from the doorway. "Can you come here for a second, please?"

He waited for you to finally reach the room. Confused, you looked at your tall boyfriend sitting on your bed, looking kind of nervous and worried.

"Are you okay?" You asked, suddenly being pretty nervous yourself.

He didn't answer, instead, he gestured for you to take a place next to him on the bed. You made your way up,, and let your body sink down next to his. From this position, your gaze fell onto your desk. A flash of shock hit your body. Had he read the letter? What if he saw your bank account? What....

"I – ehm – I just want to say that I didn't want to invade your privacy. It was an accident." He said, as he took your hand, looking deep into your eyes. "But I saw the letter lying on your table. Are you having trouble with paying your rent? You know we would ever...."

"No, I am fine." You quickly said, not wanting to hear what he was about to say. "My boss is just a little bit late with my payment. But it will eventually arrive within the next days."

He looked at you intensely, knowing that you were lying because he saw your bank account. He sighed, and pulled you over from your spot onto his lap. Immediately, your arms wrap around his neck, nuzzling your nose into his neck. His apple scent was overwhelming your nose.

"Aein." He said quietly while stroking your back in small circles. "Why are you lying to me? You know that I, that we, would always help you out. I saw on your computer that you were about to take the money from your life savings. Why would you do that instead of asking one of us?"

By now, you couldn't hold back the tears anymore. Not only had you lied to your boyfriends, you also had to admit yourself that you had problems that you couldn't solve on your own. You hugged him tighter, sobbing quietly into his neck.

Namjoon didn't say anything, he just rocked you gently back and forth, rubbing small circles on your back. He wanted to give you the time to tell him by your own. After a few minutes, you finally pulled away from the soft skin of his neck, eyes puffy and red.

"I – I don't – I am sorry." You sobbed even more, not being able to say the words. This was a really big deal for you. "I just don't you to think that I need your money to survive and - and I didn't want to have any depts. So I thought I – I could use some money from my life saving to bridge over this month."

You looked at your hands in your lap, fiddling with the sleeve of Namjoon's shirt.

"Look at me." He said, as he lifted you face by your chin. "Did one of us make you ever feel like you were dependent from us?"

You shook your head slightly, without hesitation.

"Did one of us make you ever feel judged when you had problems?"

You shook your head again.

"Did one of us denied you any help once, when you needed it?"

"No." You whispered.

He pressed a kiss onto your forehead. He then placed his left arm under your kneecap and his right arm under your back to lift you up in his arms. As he began to walk out of your room, you wrapped your arms once again around his neck.

When the two of you reached the living room, all the other heads shot up from the TV.

"Where have you been so long?" Jin asked as he shoved a hand full of crisps into his mouth.

When they saw your puffy eyes, they all immediately knew that your had been crying. Namjoon sat down onto the sofa, letting go of you, as another pair of strong arms were already wrapped around your body from behind.

"What happened?" You heard Jungkook whispering in your ear from behind, as he placed small kisses all around your ear.

You hesitated for a moment. Then looking up at Namjoon, who gestured for you to tell them, by lying his hand on your knee.

Carefully, you told your boyfriends about the financial problems your had. You told them about your work and your boss not being able to pay your payment in time, so you could pay your rent in time. You told them about you not being brave enough to ask someone for help, because you were embarrassed.

The boys listened carefully, as you spoke.

"But Jagyia." Jimin had crawled up beside you. "We are together. You have to tell us everything that is on your mind. We would never reject you, you know?"

"I know." You laughed slightly as you kissed his plump lips, that were just inches away from yours. "I am sorry. I thought I can just bridge this month."

"You are so silly sometimes." Jin suddenly said, as he bent forward to grab your arms pulling you along with him as he threw himself backwards onto the sofa. "I want you to trust us with everything that bothers you. We want you to be happy."

The eighth of you kept talking a little while longer, until you heard the words:

"Maybe paying rent is not necessary anymore, because there actually is something we wanted to ask you for quite a long time now."

________________________________________

I think this one is pretty cute.

What do you think is the question at the end? I thin it is pretty obvious. Lol.

Mꨄ

[esoscreenshots]

Hi friends, so this is kinda embarrassing but I’ve recently gotten really into tes and I wanna get/play eso but the thing is I’m not much of a gamer and I’ve never played an mmo before. So I guess my question is just like, logistically how does it work? Can you play multiple characters so you can experience all the different play styles? What actually happens when you log on? Sorry if this isn’t really your guys’ thing, I just really wanna know what I’m getting myself in for before I spend $80 on a laptop melter 😅

I’ll start this just by saying, if you’re not used to MMORPGs or multiplayer in general, ESO can be super intimidating if not outright scary. I didn’t do my first world boss or dungeon until well after fifty hours into the game, and I didn’t even leave my starting zone (probably about 30 hours worth of content for your average player) until I was about ~80 hours in (and even then, I was TERRIFIED, lol. Multiplayer games scared me so bad, especially since I didn’t really have a good grasp of what was going on.) The first MMORPG I ever played was ESO, and my hilarious memory from my baby days was accidentally typing something in zone chat and getting so upset and mortified I quit the server and wouldn’t play for the rest of the day. I tell you this both for levity, and to set expectations: new social experiences can be anxiety-inducing, especially if you don’t know what’s going on, and there is a /lot/ going on in ESO. I still don’t know what half the menus are for.

The bright side to that is that you can play through the major parts of the game without talking to any real people. They’ll be there, but they’re ignorable. No one, in my experience, will deliberately go out of their way to acknowledge you, much less antagonize you. People cannot actually hurt you unless you’ve agreed to a duel (which cannot be done by accident, it’s a whole process), and 99.99% of the time, your entire presence is ignored.

Gameplay-wise, for expectations: you’ll start a new character to begin the game, and it’ll let you design this character from a wide pool of races, classes, and aesthetic appearances. (It still astounds me how much control you’re given over your character’s appearance. I’m looking at you, “Posterior Dimensions”.) Go through slowly, familiarize with the options, and don’t get overwhelmed. After your character’s done, you’ll start with a short introductory quest, depending on the chapter upgrade you buy the game with, where you’ll be introduced to the basic mechanics of how to play (typically the old ‘you were put in prison and you have to escape with no weapons or gear except what you find on the way’ type of thing.) It’ll teach you how to walk, look around, hit enemies, equip armor, maybe even how to sneak or pick locks. That’s easy. Once the tutorial’s over, you’ll be dropped into a proper “zone”, where there are other players bustling around about their business. It’s very easy to stay on the railroad if you’re still intimidated by exploration, but also quite possible to wander off and explore a large area full of side content if you’re curious.

Moving on to address more of what you actually asked. As you mentioned, you can have up to nine different characters, which you can log out to switch between. Progress is saved on characters, not across your account, with only very few exceptions. For example, your orc dragonknight’s position, XP, standing with other characters, etc, will not be effected by what your Templar high elf is up to across the continent. I can’t speak to the value of multiple characters much, though; of the 1100 hours I have clocked, probably around 1050 of it is on the same character since I found that a lot easier than grinding multiple characters (and you will not run out of things to do or fresh experiences with a single character, trust me.)

If you’d like to discuss this more in detail, feel free to inbox us! (I’d be happy to provide an alt account where you could PM us, too.) I would’ve certainly liked a more experienced player to talk to when I started. It would’ve helped me not be scared of leaving Vvardenfell and being completely mauled by choice paralysis and intimidated by those around me.

(I would also like to state, for the record, if you’re unfamiliar with video games and haven’t played it yet, Skyrim is a much better place to start with the Elder Scrolls Universe than ESO. Just something to think about.)

[actionsurges]

liza i've never rly multiclassed before but i have an idea for a character who is the child of a god and has to go thru trials to prove themselves worthy (like hercules) so i wanna start them as a fighter and then dip into cleric but idk exactly when? i want battlemaster + then probably war cleric if that helps. or would paladin be a better choice over cleric? ahh idk much about multiclassing, any thoughts would help!!

pally and cleric multiclasses could be EQUALLY cool here it just depends on what you want to do. I'll do a quick pros and cons list of war cleric vs a pally oath and then i think what will be most helpful for me to talk about is what I think the best level mixes for multiclasses are at levels 10 and 20 because i don't know how long your campaign is going either and that'll help you come up with a better idea of how you want to use your levels. i am also going to be assuming you can take an asi or feat in your campaign which won't matter too much, however, it'll be something to keep in mind for your spellcasting modifier as well as your strength/dex/con (all important for fighters!)

WAR CLERIC

pros: you get an immediate subclass right as soon as you multiclass into the class! that's super fun! you'll also get extra bonus action attacks ON TOP of your action surge which means LOTS of attacks VERY fast. if you go two levels in channel divinity: guided strike is off the shits and pairs great with GWM. You'll get a Huge bang for your buck with just two levels as well as some first level spellcasting and combat heals. also cantrips!

cons: wisdom as your casting mod. not what i'd think of as a super strong stat for a fighter usually, you'll have a lower casting modifier which will likely limit the type of spells you will want to take. smaller hit dice. also i can easily see a battlemaster / full caster multiclass getting overwhelmed with options, especially if this is your first time multiclassing. it's a build that i would have to think VERY hard about so i didn't kneecap my own action economy or have decision paralysis for my turns in combat.

PALADIN

pros: fighter/paladin is THE shit. it's SO fun. I also think thematically a Paladin Oath is so fun. Smites on top of your attacks are FANTASTIC, divine health, lay on hands to be an emergency defibrillator, an extra fighting style, divine sense, you'll get a lot of fun options. Also channel divinities are SUPER strong and recharge on a short rest. (this applies to clerics as well) It'll also be fun to figure out what kind of oath your character might swear! Also the spells you'll get are more geared towards martial combat as well! This will also be the same hit die as your Fighter hit die so you won't be losing potential hp

cons: you'll want to take at least three levels to get your oath, which is two more than you'd need in cleric to get a functional build going, however, i would take two in cleric anyways. same issue with casting mod. it won't be too high but smites don't need a casting mod :) no cantrips tho :c

10TH LEVEL SPLITS

4/6 > honestly this is the one i would do if you're only getting to around tenth level. six in fighter and 4 in whichever other. you'll get to pick up three ASI, you'll get your extra attack, and you'll get good subclass abilities in both

3/7 > two ASI if you've got the stats to make it work and REALLY want those extra battle master maneuvers and know your enemy. You'll still get your Pally Subclass if you've picked paladin and you're making the most of your fighter.

1/9 > if all you want is a little dip into cleric, go for this and it'll still be a rocking multiclass. three asi, a bit of emergency first level casting, and attacks galore

2/8 > same as the above just with the bonus of a +10 to hit and an extra spell slot

20TH LEVEL SPLITS

9/11 > idk why i might be a little bit nuts for this one but this is one of my favorite splits when thinking about multiclass? it's one of the most even, usually subclasses get an ability at 9th or 10th and classes usually get a neat ability at 11th which is why i prefer it to 8/12 tho 8/12 lets you make the most of your ASI. If you want a ton of cleric spells and can handle the action economy, this would be super fun. It'll also be great on Pally. The main draw of this is you'll get your second extra attack from fighter so you'll have THREE attacks per attack action.

8/12 > this is if you wanna make the most of your ASIs, you'll still get mini smites from cleric and six ASI but won't get a fifth level cleric spell

7/13 > this is specifically a pally/fighter choice. 13 of fighter to get your second use of indomitable per rest and 7 pally to get your aura effect.

4/16 > this is only for if you don't want a lot of casting but REALLY want your battle master maneuvers LMAO, this isn't the best imo but hey. Seven ASI 😏

3/17 > ^ this but but better. only six asi but you get TWO ACTION SURGES!!! if you're afraid to dip your toes too deep into casting and just want some low level versatility, i'd take this one!

GENERAL MULTICLASSING TIP FOR SPELLSWORDS

when you're doing any sort of martial/caster multiclass you'll need to think logically about your spellcasting modifier and know that unless you rolled really good stats or end up with a magic item that'll beef you up, most of the time if you're a majority martial, you will have a +2 or +3 modifier to your spellcasting.

the way i choose to deal with it is I look VERY carefully at the spell list i have and I try to avoid spells that will use my spell save DC or spell attack bonus because it's going to be considerably lower than my martial attacks. That way, you can make the most out of your spell casting and not end up as disappointed when things keep passing your damn save. concentration spells are actually not bad at all for you because you'll likely have a decent con, but spells that don't require a roll of some kind / are out of combat will get you the most mileage.

some low level cleric and/or paladin spells that fit the mark are: bless (conc.), cure wounds, detect good/evil, detect magic, healing word, PROTECTION FROM GOOD AND EVIL (MOST UNDERRATED SPELL EVER IT SLAMS (CONC)), Shield of Faith, Any of your Paladin Smite Spells, Aid, Enhance Ability, Locate Object, Prayer of Healing (Short Rest Hype)

[free--therapy]

12 Ways to Make Hard Decisions Easier

Smart strategies for when you’re struggling to make a choice.

By Marina Khidekel, Chief Content Officer at Thrive Global

Our entire lives are structured around making decisions. Every day we make simple choices, like what to wear to work or what time to wake up, that don’t cause us too much stress. Yet bigger decisions — ones that could change our lives or impact the ones we love — can be a source of significant anxiety.

We asked members of the Thrive community to share their best tips for making life decisions when they feel stumped. Here are some strategies to use the next time you feel overwhelmed or unsure about.

Follow your intuition

“When we feel stuck, or indecisive, it’s typically because we are disconnected from ourselves. When faced with ‘I don’t know’ we need to take a time out and listen to the silent whispers of our soul. Take a few deep breaths. Close your eyes and tap into your intuition. Run each choice through your mind and notice how your body responds. If you feel contracted, or feel a pit in your stomach, that is a clear ‘NO.’ If you feel fluttery, but expansive and excited, well, that’s a yes, but you’re just being stretched out of your comfort zone — go for it!”

—Kimberly Napier, life coach and speaker, Concord, MA

Meditate and listen to your inner wisdom

“Whenever I have a tough decision to make, I meditate on it first. I sit for 10-15 minutes uninterrupted in my meditation space at home and just breathe deeply, using my breath as an anchor to remain in the present moment. I ask for guidance from my inner guide. When I’m done meditating, I journal any wisdom that I’ve received during that time. After I’ve decided on the decision, I ask myself if this is the answer that I would be proud to tell my family and friends. Then I know I’ve made the right decision!”

—Camille Sacco, certified meditation instructor and bank manager, Winter Park, FL

Think about how your decision will make you feel — after the fact

“In my younger years decisions were much more spontaneous than they became after 50. Now, I decide if the decisions fall in line with my values. How will this make me feel later or tomorrow? If I don’t work out, or if I eat this, how will I feel later? Now, decisions are not just about being in the present — they are about how I want to feel after I make them.”

—Andrea Lambert, hotel sales, San Diego, CA

Ask yourself two important questions

“When making difficult decisions, pro vs. con lists are useful, except when they’re not. Asking advice from a wise and objective friend, colleague, or mentor is critical, but doesn’t always help. When I’m really stuck, with no clear means of resolution, I ask myself two questions: Which choice do I want to make and which choice am I trying to avoid making? The first exposes self-interest, which cannot be trusted. The second reveals the voice of conscience, which is the most likely guide to a well-calibrated moral compass.”

—Yonason Goldson, ethics speaker, St. Louis, MO

Avoid analysis paralysis

“With experience, making hard decisions gets a lot easier. Draw on your experiences and those from others, but ultimately, the decision rests on your shoulders. There is an Army adage: ‘Lead, follow, or get out of the way.’ Trusting my gut feelings led to a lot of great (fast) decisions in life. ‘Analysis paralysis’ will limit your opportunities because you fear making the wrong choice. Weigh your options, pray, follow your heart, seek advice, but decide to act. No one gets anywhere meaningful just watching the river rush by from the banks. Jump in! Hard decisions require guts and faith in yourself. Avoid ‘what ifs’ by pushing yourself. No one advances without making mistakes, so let go of fear and lead.”

—Scott Miller, marketing director, Wilmington, DE

Recognize your body’s reactions

“When making tough decisions, the first step I take is to empty out my mind and relax so that I can start with a clean and clear slate. I allow this process to last for a few minutes. Next, I bring up the situation I need to resolve or make a decision about. I start to think of the scenario and the pros and cons. I believe in tuning into my body and how I react physically to the information that I am thinking about. I try to base my decisions on what feels good and right by the way my body reacts. Your body has a way of knowing what your mind may not be able to, sometimes.”

—Nicole Michalski, life strategist, author, and speaker, Alberta, Canada

Consider the implications a year down the road

“When I struggle to make decisions and spend too much time worrying about whether I am making the ‘right’ choice, I like to remember a question that my dad taught me when I was an angsty teenager: ‘Will it matter in a year’s time?’ Sometimes, it’s so easy to get caught up and make decisions far scarier than they really need to be. Asking myself this question reminds me that smaller decisions don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Make them and move on!”

—Vicky Shilling, wellness industry business coach, Dublin, Ireland

Visualize the outcome

“When choosing between two potential paths, look at both and consider, am I ready for the possible outcome of this path? If the answer is yes, you are prepared to make the decision. If the answer is no, you need more research and contemplation. One of my students was considering quitting her job. She felt confident that when she gave notice, they would beg her to stay and give her a raise. I asked her, ‘but what if they accept your resignation and send you packing? Are you ready for a job search and to be unemployed for an unspecified amount of time?’ She realized that she was not ready for each potential outcome, and therefore not prepared to quit her job.”

—Margaret Meloni, Ph.D, author, Long Beach, CA

Use the 24-hour rule

“I’m a talker so I talk things out, but only six times. Hopefully, it’s six different trusted advisers who get to hear the problem and offer input, and not my poor husband six times. If I’m truly stumped, I invoke the 24-hour rule and give myself permission not to mull on the issue and not to make any decision for 24 hours. It’s amazing how many problems resolve on their own in 24 hours.”

—Kathy King Johnson, executive director, Cheboygan, MI

Get some fresh air

“Take a walk outside. If you can get out into the woods, even better. Fresh air and interaction with nature will calm you down, bring your breathing back to normal, and help you to think clearly. When we have big decisions to make at work, we participate in Pedi Meetings: 15-minute walking meetings outside. The combination of light exercise and fresh air aids in restoring cognitive function and boosts creativity.”

—Abby Oxborough, leadership development facilitator, MN

Make a list

“I’m a huge list maker. There are so many benefits to knocking to-dos off your list or using a pros and cons list to evaluate something. You can experience a boost of self-esteem, productivity, and accountability. When I’m stumped making a potentially life-altering decision, I craft a pros and cons list. There is a second step to my madness — I also consult my support system to walk through my points on the list. I take everyone’s perspectives, including my own, to make my decision.”

—Melissa Muncy, content marketing, San Francisco, CA

Give yourself the time you need

“When it comes to important decisions, I make sure to give myself plenty of time and space to think through my options. It may be helpful to talk about them with trusted friends, colleagues, or family members. I look at the pros and cons of different options and come to terms with what would be the best option. I also need to be comfortable with the consequences of the selected choice — both good and bad. We can make decisions logically, but we can also make decisions based on what we feel is right. When in doubt, I follow what my heart tells me is the right thing to do.”

—Cynthia Leung, pharmacist, Kingston, ON, Canada

[stardustedknuckles]

THERE IS NO TOO MANY FICS!!! I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE!! YOU'VE BEEN MY FAVORITE CRITICAL ROLE WRITER FOR SO SO SO LONG, AND THE DAY I ACTUALLY NOTICED ALL THESE FICS THAT WERE MY FAVORITES WERE BY THE SAME PERSON?? AND CLICKED ON YOUR PROFILE?? AND SAW HOW MANY FICS YOU HAD??? I NEARLY COMBUSTED FROM HAPPINESS. THERE WILL BE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOUR INCREDIBLE WRITING NO MATTER HOW MANY FICS THERE ARE OR HOW MANY (FANTASTIC) FICS WE HAVE TO SCROLL THROUGH

Haha apologies if my musings prompted any panic. I don't plan to stop writing! I'm just in uncharted territory insofar as I've never written this many fics before, and there are so many that I don't want to disappear into obscurity because they got buried under a hundred others.

My friend mentioned perhaps creating a collection or two, and I might do that. Have a collection for like... Author's Picks, I dunno. Something so that folks don't have to be overwhelmed by the sheer number staring them in the face when they go to look for something beauyasha. Maybe I'm projecting, but if I click the ship I want and a billion fics come up, I'm probably going to be hit with paralysis of choice.

So it's a little of that and a little of self consciousness when it comes to taking up space. So many times I've been hindered from posting by the brain weasels going "I dunno :/ maybe shut up and let someone else talk for once." (usually I can push through because it's not pie, I'm not taking space from someone else by using it, but it still happens a lot and has since around fic number 30. By 100 the weasels had leveled up.)

So yeah. Just trying to look at what's here and make it easier for folks to know where to even start when it comes to staring down a big number of fics. Thank you for reminding me that my presumed reaction has its roots in anxiety and that excitement is another viable option. 💙

I am probably going to change my url though, just because Holy gods it's long. That's what I get for panic changing it from a doctor who reference once I realized I was allowed to change it at all. (it's still derived from a doctor who reference. There are a couple of you who have left kudos and comments for sdk who have done the same for fics under my other account... that was an extremely fun coincidence for me to discover)

[meliorist-midoriya]

dating an s/o with social anxiety

the request: Hi! I hope your having a good day! I was wondering if you could write headcannons for Shinsou, katsuki, and izu with an s/o has social anxiety. She comes off as really quiet at first, but when they get together, she’s actually really sweet. Thank you, love your blog!! 💗💗

a/n: thank you so much!! you’re the sweetest omg ;-; i did as much research as i could and pulled a bit from my own experiences (as mild as they may be), so i hope this is okay! happy reading :)

shinsou hitoshi

⟢ two peas in a frickin’ pod.

⟢ he didn’t mind being around you at all, your quiet demeanor suiting his well.

⟢ also he makes surprisingly easy conversation?? you don’t feel all too anxious around him and he doesn’t push anything either.

⟢ you time spent together is usually just chill and easygoing conversation that flows nicely and doesn’t leave room for your mind to take over.

⟢ tbh you two getting together was inevitable. the couple that no one is surprised about.

⟢ the biggest softie for you, no matter how much of a straight-faced hardass he is.

⟢ how could he not be? you’re an absolute angel the moment you get comfortable and he’d be damned if he did anything to ruin that.

⟢ a part of him feels like he doesn’t deserve you because what the hell you’re so amazing, you deserve the world and more, yet you’re with him?

⟢ please love him lots so he can shed this mindset.

⟢ hell of an introvert, so he absolutely does not mind staying in when he can. shinsou will take movies and cuddles over going out any day, as long as he gets to be with you.

⟢ an expert at distracting you from anything overwhelming!! takes you out of any situations you’re not comfortable in and distracts you with completely off topic conversation or anything else he can.

⟢ “do you want to go over there? it’s less crowded.” “let’s just get takeout and we can finish that show we were watching, yeah?” “okay so about this cat-”

⟢ sweet boy just wants to make sure you’re okay, as tsundere as he is about it.

bakugou katsuki

⟢ literally nobody expects it.

⟢ the most aggressive guy in class with one of the quietest? even bakugou himself didn’t expect to fall for you and yet, here you were.

⟢ he’s still trying to figure out how it happened. was it when you spoke to him kindly for the first time? or when he saw that small, soft smile? maybe when you laughed at something he did?

⟢ all of the above, bakugou, all of the above.

⟢ when you get comfortable and start becoming more open, he’s just- ??? why aren’t you like this around others??

⟢ he kinda just,,, doesn’t get it at first when you explain why you’ve always been so quiet.

⟢ “okay well just don’t give a fuck then.” “katsuki that’s not how it works-”

⟢ he’s still not going to get it fully, but he’ll understand and, abrasive as he may be, won’t force you to do anything or ‘improve’ unless you want to.

⟢ part of him is proud that he has the privilege of having your trust.

⟢ lucky for you, even though it’s for completely opposite reasons, he tends to avoid social situations anyway (until bakusquad drags him in, at least).

⟢ when he does interact though, you’ll definitely maybe have to do some damage control bc,,, it’s bakugou.

⟢ he’s noticeably calmer around you, keeping his own behavior on a leash because the last thing he wants to do is fuck up and make you upset.

⟢ blows up whenever people call him soft whenever it comes to you.

⟢ he never denies it though, because everyone knows that they’re right.

midoriya izuku

⟢ this boy is in the same boat to at least some degree.

⟢ you two getting together took forever since neither of you could even talk to each other coherently.

⟢ honestly kind of a miracle in and of itself.

⟢ once you two are official, you start opening up at your own pace and oh, now he’s falling even harder.

⟢ you are literally the sweetest and he is so happy that you’re comfortable around him.

⟢ smiles, jokes, and you remember the little things? he’s a goner.

⟢ he still gets really flustered around you, but a little less the more time you spend together, allowing himself to geek out more because he knows you don’t mind.

⟢ tries his best to help you where he can. need to make a phone call? he’ll write down what you need to say if you need it. ordering? he’ll help you go over it to make sure it’s right.

⟢ 100% the couple that hangs back in line, rehearsing your orders a million times before you have to go up.

⟢ be careful going to any place that has a lot of choices though, he will literally put you into decision paralysis just from his muttering.

⟢ “we can get that, but that seems more- wait but if we get that-” “izuku honey we can just get a sandwich.”

⟢ constant reassurances!!!

⟢ will tell you everything you need to hear and more when it gets bad.

⟢ overall a sweet and caring relationship that gives everyone who looks at you two cavities.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #389

“i’m well aware i’m a danger to myself  /  are you aware i’m a danger to others?”

How much do you weigh? Yeah, we're starting off on a bad foot. If you are outside, what are you most likely doing? Putting Roman's used litter in the trash. Do you think you can love someone without trusting them? Hm... I guess you could love them, but it'd be a complicated situation. What’s your opinion on people who go hunting for sport? If it's purely for sport, from the very bottom of my heart, fuck you. Do you have a fairly fast or slow internet connection? I'd say it's decently fast. Have you ever been someplace tropical? Yeah, Florida. My grandma lived there. Are you sensitive to caffeine? No. It does like... nothing to me. How do you usually get around? My mom's car. Have you ever been accused of being too clingy? No actually, but I know I kinda am. What do you think about Kim Kardashian? I don't have an opinion of her. Can you speak any French? No. Favorite yogurt flavor? The only yogurt I've been liking lately is cookies and cream to add a different texture, because otherwise, I don't like its natural texture very much??? Idk man, my taste buds are wild. How much money do you have in your wallet right now? Just like $5. What bottled water brand do you like? Essentia. Your favorite way to eat chocolate? As chocolate bars, probably. How often do you listen to country music? Like, never. Linkin Park or Avenged Sevenfold? Linkin Park. Last surgery you had? Pilonidal cyst removal. Have you ever played guitar? I briefly took classes for it in high school, yes. Best I got to was playing some of the intro to "Crazy Train." I enjoyed it, but not enough to be consistent and really learn. Is there someone in your life whose career/life choices you find immoral/unethical? Have you ever told that person your views? Do you find it difficult to support them (emotionally or otherwise) because of their choices? I don't think so? What trait do you feel you lack that you wish you possessed? Independence and confidence would be nice... Have you ever considered writing your memoirs? No. Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? God no. I love my online friends. Half of 'em more than "irl" ones. Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? I have to be VERY invested in it to care THAT much. It happened most recently when Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty premiered. Do you have any stickers on your laptop? No. Would you rather have a job for which you had to go in early in the morning or one you had to stay late into the evening at? Early in the morning. I'm in a better mood in the morning. Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? I have a calorie-counting app, as well as one to track my period. Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? My mom's, best friend's, and psychiatrist's. If you could’ve been at any historical event, which would you have liked to witness firsthand? I don't really know. Maybe the very first Pride event? Is there something that you really want to do but are afraid of doing? If so, why are you afraid of doing it? Ride a rollercoaster, for one. I know I never will, though. I'm too afraid of throwing up, but even more realistically, I fear passing out before of the twisting and turning and just standing up makes me very dizzy. My blood pressure is STUPID low. What is something society “expects” you to do that you don’t want to do and/or don’t plan on doing? Have kids. That's a big 'ole fat no from me. Have Jehovah's Witnesses ever come to your door? Twice at least. Are you well-known by people in your area? No. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, thank Christ. It sounds terrifying. What's your favourite type of bird? Barn owls. Melanistic ones, to be exact. Stunning. What tv show(s) have you been watching currently? I'm only keeping up with Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty. Have you ever dated a smoker? For less than a day. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yes. Have you ever been a member in a band? No. Besides the school band. Can you cry on command? If so, have you ever used it to your advantage? No. Do you have separate emails for personal and business? No. Have you ever missed a flight? Yes. Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? Multiple times. Have you ever taken a ride in a convertible? I think once with my brother. Why did you last need to use a band-aid? I'unno. What fruit do you eat most often? Apples. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My ma. Has someone ever tried to start an argument with you over Facebook? What happened? A few times. I don't feel like thinking over this. Have you ever had an unusual type of milk (eg. oat, rice, almond)? I've tried almond milk, and I hated it. If you could experience life as a Disney princess for a week, which princess would you pick and why? uhhhhhh idk When you’re at home, do you spend most of your time in your room? I'm essentially always in my room. If you like to sleep in late, have your parents ever told you off for doing so? No. Do you find piercings attractive? Yep. Do you like potato chips? Loooove 'em. What’s the most stalker-like/creepy thing you’ve ever done? If you don’t think you’ve done anything like that, what’s the most stalker-like thing someone’s done to you? Nothing beyond checking Jason's Facebook sometimes after the breakup, I think. Even that though I wouldn't recommend doing. You're just going to get yourself hurt. Stay away from exes' profiles. Do you think it’s a double standard that a woman can hit a man and expect to get away with it, but if a man hits a woman it’s assault? Yep. I don't give a fuck what's in your pants, you don't hit anybody unless you're fighting to defend yourself. What’s your favorite old Disney movie and favorite new Disney movie? I mean... define "old." I'll go with The Lion King for old, and for new, uh... Finding Dory, probs. Name something “trendy” or popular that you dislike. I don't really know what IS trendy right now... Is Snapchat still "in?" Because I've never gotten that. “Dirty talk” in the bedroom…love it, like it, don’t care, dislike it, or hate it? I think I'm kinda neutral about it? Like I mean it also depends on exactly what is said. I prefer more loving talk, though. What is/are your favorite type(s) of ethnic food, and what’s your favorite food within that type? I'm a basic fatass that likes American cuisine most, aha... Like give me a cheeseburger and I'm happy lmao. How would you describe your relationship with your hair over the years? I love it more now at a short length than I ever did long. When it was long and I was in my deepest depression, I was awful about brushing it. It would get so knotted. Like looking back, it nearly makes me shiver. I HIGHLY recommend cutting your hair for anyone who struggles with selfcare. How do you feel about your SO daily/regularly checking up on a couple of his exes on social media? I'm single, but hypothetically, if you're checking an ex's page nearly every day, I would not be okay with that. I'm totally fine with exes remaining friends and just cordially talking now and again, but that's it. It's a respect thing. Do you prefer your guy to wear cologne or not? I personally like cologne if it's not overwhelming. I really don't care if you wear it or not, though. Ladies, how important is it to you that your SO wears/would wear a wedding ring? This survey is so heteronormative. But anyway, unless there was an issue like it not fitting, I'd want my spouse to wear their ring. What was the turning point that led you to decide for or against having children? There are a lot of reasons I don't want kids. I'm too selfish with my "me" time, I stress out too easily, I don't want to dedicate my life to keeping another person alive and fed and happy, I have bad genes... I could go on and on. I just wouldn't be a good, "present" enough mom. I am much more interested in ensuring *I* am okay. Is having your “dream” wedding really that important to have? Not at all. I mean I want a smooth and memorable wedding, but I'm not obsessed with it being perfect. Do you consider it cheating if your SO goes to a strip club and then doesn’t tell you? That's certainly not cheating, but I wouldn't like it. Being secretive about anything in a relationship is unhealthy, imo. I'd be hurt and also very insecure because I wouldn't feel like "enough." How old is too old for trick-or-treating? Honestly? I don't think you ever are. Like come on, does it REALLY matter? Let people have fun. I don't do it because of societal standards, but I would if I didn't care about being judged. Do you sleep with your arms over or under the covers? It depends on the temperature, but I normally wake up with them under. Do you own any t-shirts of your favorite band? I have an Ozzy one stored somewhere, but it doesn't fit me now. There was another I really liked too, but that one is WAY too small now. Fries or onion rings? Fries. I'm not a fan of onion rings. True/False: you’ve had an odd dream this week. Story of my life. I had one last night where I kept dying in different ways, and I actually felt the pain, like drowning in magma. Do you find tattoo sleeves attractive? YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. Do you like carving pumpkins? Yeah. What’s an animal you want to have as a pet but can’t? My mom has absolutely forbidden me to get a tarantula (uh, many tarantulas in my case) until I move out, lol. That doesn't stop me from checking Craigslist like every day. ;_; Have your parents ever caught you drinking? "Caught," no. Any time I've drunk, I've had permission or was a legal adult by then. How would you react if your celebrity crush came to your door? First be humiliated at my appearance and then absolutely pass out lmao. Has your mom/dad ever walked in on you kissing or anything more with someone? No, thank fuck. The person you have a crush on is drunk and goes to kiss you, you know they don’t realize what they’re doing, but do you kiss anyways? If I know it's something they wouldn't do sober, absolutely not. What would you prefer to get from a guy/girl: flowers, a hand written poem, a picture he drew of you or a nice night out? Any would be lovely, but the poem would appeal most to me because of the amount of thought that goes into poetry. Do you any shirts with any kind of images of food on them? What? I don't think so, no. Which holiday is the most fun to decorate for? Halloween. What was the first website you had an email account on? Yahoo. Have you ever written a fanfic? No. Tattoos or piercings? Both are grand, but tats win. What’s the last gross movie/show/video you saw? I saw this picture of a snake split open that had eaten another snake. Would you rather live in a huuuge house or a little cozy one? Lil cozy one! I don't want more space than is needed for cleaning reasons, as well as price. Do you have a tutor for anything? No. Who’s the best kisser you know? Jason was. Has anyone ever threatened you with a knife? No. I'd like it to stay that way. (If you’re a girl) Has anyone ever called you "shortie" instead of girl? Ew, no. Do you have a deep voice? For a woman, yes. Do you play games with boys/girls, like 'hard to get’? Hi, I'm an adult. Is there a Sonic where you live? YES. It's my fave fast-food place. What do you like on your pizza? I have three go-tos depending on my mood: Pepperoni, jalapenos, or meat lovers.

[stillchaoticlogic]

Stumbling: Chapter 10

Pairing: Raihan X Reader X Leon

Your life hadn’t gone exactly as you planned…

This is why when an old rival walks into the coffee shop you work at he gives you an offer you just can’t refuse. Finally, a chance at the League. Suddenly you are thrust into the spotlight and a world you thought you had left behind. Dreams aren’t always what they are cracked up to be though, especially when you find yourself the tangled up with the champion and a certain gym leader.

Has all your dreams come true?

Or is this your worst nightmare?

Masterlist

Chapter 10: Hit Me with Your Best Shot You gaze into the sunrise taking in the colors with your sweater wrapped around you for warmth. Zuko lays curled next to you as a source of heat and protection, the little fire lizard yawns and stretches as he blinks up at you. You glance down at him as you giggle to yourself and pull a few berries out for him to eat. He happily snatched them from your hands and eats them as he too watches the colors dance across the morning sky. You had been up for a couple of hours now, allowing the guys to get some sleep. 

You watch as the quiet is broken by the Pokémon in the tall grass and the little pond slowly stirring to start their day. You are a little surprised when an apple is suddenly sitting next to you, also gazing up into the sunset. You blink as you look down at it and it turns to look at you. 

“An Applin…” you mutter to yourself. 

“Your Applin,” says a voice behind you. 

You whip your head around and you’re surprised to see Raihan sitting in the entrance to the tent. 

“My Applin?” You ask turning to fully face him.

“I caught him for you yesterday, I figured he would be a good addition to your team and…”

“And?”

“And I wanted you to know that I’ll always be here for you. I know you have a lot going on right now so I don’t expect you to…”

“To what, Rai?”

“Return my-“ Raihan is interrupted as Leon shoves him aside and walks out of the tent yawning. 

“Hey what was that for?!” Raihan yells after his friend and rival. 

“You were blocking the exit of the tent,” Leon says innocently, maybe a little too innocently.

You glance back and forth between the two of them in confusion. 

“What is going on between you two?” You ask in exasperation.

“Nothing!” They both exclaim a bit too forcefully. 

“Whatever, let’s eat breakfast and get going,” you grumble to them. 

The air is filled with the sounds of Raihan packing up the tent, Leon feeding the pokemon and you fixing breakfast for the three of you. Oatmeal is your breakfast of choice today, so while it’s cooking you chop up some berries, get the seasoning ready as well any other topping you have on hand. 

“We’re going to need to grab food while we are in Hulbury,” you tell the guys. 

They just grunt in answer as they continue to focus on the task at hand. You have a feeling that whatever is going on between the two of them is a big part of the silence. You ignore them as you complete your task and announce that breakfast is ready. They finish up quickly before they rush over to grab their respective bowls. 

The three of you set out towards Hulbury the minute that the dishes are washed and put away. You gaze up at the blue sky as you walk along a little behind the duo. The clouds in the sky lazily float over the sun casting shadows every once in a while. Your newest team member is resting on your shoulder while he chirps up at the sky, clearly happy to travel along with you. 

“What are you going to name him?” Raihan asks, clearly enjoying the sight of the Applin he got you resting on your shoulder. 

“I don’t know… I’ve been thinking about it all morning.”

You think you hear Leon huff from in front of you and Raihan but you decide not to pay him any attention. 

Raihan sends him a look before he returns his attention to you. 

“So Raihan…” you start glancing over at the Dragon trainer beside you, “You know about the rumor for Applin right?” 

He glances over at you, “Sure do.”

You just nod with a soft blush on your face, “Okay I wanted to make sure…”

“Don’t worry princess, I gave him to you on purpose, but things are crazy now and…”

“I know…”

“It’s cool if you don’t feel the same you can still keep him…”

“I don’t really know how I feel… things have been very overwhelming recently.”

“I understand.”

“How about… once the League challenge is over we… talk about this more?” You ask hesitantly.

“I’d like that… Plus I technically can’t get involved with competitors soooo…”

You laugh, “So what was the point of this?”

“I want you to know that you’re supported and no matter what you have someone even when this is all over.”

“Thanks, Raihan. I needed to hear that… I’ve been doing everything on my own for so long that it’s nice to know that I have someone there for me…”

You share a smile with Raihan as he slings his arm around your shoulder. You notice how stiff Leon’s shoulders are and you wonder what has gotten into him lately. 

Hulbury is upon you by the afternoon and you head to the pokemon center to get your Pokemon healed up. You notice a few shady characters loitering around the alleys as you exit the center and head towards the gym. A crowd outside of the arena blocks the entrance and you raise your brows as you watch a kid rush out and smirk at the crowd. 

“Fan favorite?” you wonder aloud as you watch the kid sign autographs and give an interview to the reporters standing by. 

You continue your way toward the doors and you’re surprised when shouts of “There she is!” rise up among the crowd. Before you know it they are rushing towards you and you are surrounded by a group of fans and reporters are shoving a microphone into your face. You blink in surprise as you are bombarded with questions. You can feel yourself being overwhelmed as you stumble back. 

“Hey!” A forceful voice cuts through the crowd and everyone stops to stare in shock at Nessa standing on the front steps of her gym. 

“Could you give my challenger some room please?” she asks in an icy voice as she approaches you, the crowd parts like the sea as she does so.

You heave a sigh of relief as you smile at your friend, “Thanks,” you mutter as you step in line beside her. 

“Don’t mention it!” She says as she makes her way into the gym the reporters and crowd following closely behind in order to watch the battle that will soon unfold. 

You head over to registration after waving bye to your friend and get signed in. You find out there are a couple of challengers in front of you so you head to the locker room to wait your turn. 

Sitting on the bench watching the battles take place on screen you almost don’t notice the person that plops down next to you. 

“Well look who it is!”

 Turning you to your right you see Sonia sitting next to you.

“When did you get there?!” you exclaim in surprise. 

“A minute ago! Nessa has been helping me with some research but when she texted me that you were challenging her I knew I had to come to see you for myself!”

You chuckle as you gaze up at the screen showing the battle taking place before you. You sigh as you look down at your team on your belt. 

“Nervous?” Sonia asks. 

“Yeah… Things have been a lot lately… And Raihan kinda just confessed to me…”

“Raihan?! Really? What about-”

“Challenger (Name)! You’re up next please take your place,” a referee interrupts. 

“I’ll talk to you later okay? I have a battle to win.”

“O-kay…” 

You don’t pay attention to Sonia as you rush to the starting area and race to complete the puzzle to get you there. 

By the time you make it to the arena, your clothes are sopping wet and you basically feel like a drowned Ratatta…  

You shiver as a gust of air from the interlock doors assault your senses before you make your way down the hallway towards the field. Once you step out onto the green you feel yourself straighten up as you head towards the center at the same time that Nessa is. You meet in the middle and shake hands before turning and walking towards your respective sides. 

“I’ve been waiting for you, you know…”

“Oh? Why is that?”

“You’re Leon’s chosen one, so clearly you must be good! Don’t worry though, I’m better,” she says with a smirk while she flips her hair over her shoulder. 

“We’ll see about that…” you smirk as you ready your first pokemon. 

Nessa sends our Goldeen as you release Axel your sweet baby throwing his fists onto the ground as he regards the fish Pokemon before him. 

“Axel, are you ready to play? Acid!”

“Goldeen! Use Agility then Water Pulse!”

You see sparks jumping from Axel’s skin before he sprays the general area with the acid. Goldeen dodges just in time and hits Axel with a blast of water. He Flails about out of habit hitting Goldeen and sending her to the ground. 

“Nuzzle!” you yell as the fish pokemon leaps up. 

Axel throws his arms out and wraps them around the fish Pokemon sending electric currents through her body. 

“Whirlpool! You have to get away!”

“Acid! Spray the water!”

You watch as the poison from Axel’s Acid attack mixes with the water swirling around the two of them. They both get swept up into the current, however, due to the paralysis and the poison now running through Goldeen’s system she is rendered useless. Once the whirlpool has subsided both pokemon lands harshly on the floor and you wait with bated breath to see if one of them is getting up. 

Axel sits up and shakes his head, water flying everywhere with a look of confusion. 

“Round one goes to (Name)!”

“Yes!” you exclaim as you throw your hands up and Axel throws his fists into the air. 

“Not bad… Let’s see how you handle Arrokuda!” Nessa releases her next pokemon and you know that Axel can’t survive this battle as well. Hopefully, he will be able to paralysis his opponent before you switch him out. 

“I know what you’re thinking!” Nessa says, “And it’s not going to work!”

“You don’t know what I’m thinking…”

“Don’t I? Aquajet Arrokuda!”

You curse under your breath, “Acid then Nuzzle, Axel!”

You know that Axel’s speed isn’t anything near this Arrokuda’s so your only hope is to slow it down. 

Dodging the acid from Axel Arrokuda slows down enough for Axel to catch him right as he’s hit with a Nuzzle. Axel falls backward knocked out from the move and you frown as you call him back. 

“Great job sweet boy… you deserve a nap.”

“Not bad… you still managed to get me…”

You frown, “I was hoping he would have survived at least one attack, your Arrokuda is stronger than I thought…”

“Serenity! Let’s go!”

Serenity readies herself as she glares at her opponent. 

“Bite Arrokuda!”

“Oh no, you don’t! Confusion then Magical Leaf!”

The attack knocks Arrokuda back as the paralyzed pokemon attempts to get up leaves whip up from nowhere and fly towards the fish pokemon. She takes a direct hit and is down for the count. 

“Impressive…”

“Oh, I’m just getting started…”

“Now we’re talking! Drednaw, go!”

“Return Serenity! Go Arum!”

Arum your Steenee dances across the field as the Drednaw roars.

“You ready?” Nessa asks.

You can hear the music pick up and the fans are already going wild for the Dynamax battle about to happen. 

“Let’s do this…”

Your bands activate and both of you return your pokemon before the Pokeball enlarges and you throw it behind you. Arum is released and grows about 10 times her normal size. She thrills as she glares at the roaring Pokemon before her. 

“Max Overgrowth!”

“Max Geyser!”

Both Pokemon release their moves simultaneously. You watch as the root-like vines fight to cut through the cannon of water blasting at it. You smile as the floor becomes grassy and flowers blossom right before your eyes. 

“AGAIN!” you yell hoping that Arum has what it takes to overtake the Drednaw before her. She dances around missing another blast of the Geyser just as it begins to rain. She sends the vines across the field with a direct hit sending out a shockwave of explosions as the Drednaw shrinks to its normal size before returning to its home. 

You laugh as you leap into the air in excitement before you turn to Arum who is shrinking to regular size again. She runs up to you and jumps into your arms as Serenity pops from her Pokeball to join in on the hugging as well. 

“We got our second badge!” 

“Great job, (Name). I knew that Leon’s original rival had to be something. Looking forward to battling you in the finals!” 

You take the badge from Nessa and the two of you shake hands as you give her a watery smile. Suddenly overcome with emotion you hide your face from the cameras as you make your way off the field. You throw your fist into the air one more time and grin as the crowd goes wild.

You inhale the sea air as you step out of the gym. You aren’t surprised when several people flock to you and for once you’re prepared for the onslaught. Kids ask for your autograph and you’re surprised at how many young women call you an inspiration. Young men blush as they ask for your autograph and several ask how Davine and Hades are doing. 

“When are we going to get to see them battle!?” a little girl of 10 asks. 

“When they are ready. Davine went through a lot and while she’s definitely improving I’m afraid the arena may be too much for her, same with Hades. He can’t see so loud noises still disorient him. They both need more training before I bring them out for a league battle.”

“That makes sense… I didn’t think of that… But they are doing good?”

“Yes! They are doing well!”

“You should put up videos on your trainer account!” says a fifteen-year-old girl. 

“Huh? My what?”

“Your trainer account! All trainers have one! It’s connected to your ID number so that fans can keep track of you on social media! You can upload pictures and videos of you and your pokemon!”

“Oh… Can you show me?”

“Sure!”

 She takes your phone and shows you the app and how to use it. She asks you to pull out your badges so you hand them to her. She holds the ring up to the sky, so the blue is the background and snaps a picture. You watch fascinated as she captions the post and tags it before she posts the photo. 

“Seems simple enough…”

“Here! I’ll follow you!” She says happily as she pulls her own phone out, “The names Sunny!”

“Me too!”

“Same!”

“Post great updates!”

You’re surprised when the entire crowd pulls out their phones to follow you and you’re pretty surprised to watch the count go up right before your eyes. In less than a minute you have about 50 followers. You chuckle when you notice both Leon and Raihan’s username float across your screen. 

“She’s being followed by the Champion! And Raihan!”

“Hey look! Nessa too!” 

You chuckle as Raihan comments, “About time!” on your photo. 

“The second badge already?!” comments Leon.

“They’re commenting!!!!” squeals one of the girls. 

You laugh as you turn back to Sunny, “Thanks for your help! How do I follow you back?”

She happily shows you how to follow people and you smile as you follow back everyone in the area and thank them for their support. 

“We’re rooting for you!”

“You’re going to crush them in the finals!”

You giggle as you walk away from the fans and head towards the hotel that you are staying in. You are greeted by Leon and Raihan as you walk in through the door. 

“TA-DA!” They exclaim as they show you the celebratory spread they bought. 

“Wow!! So much food!”

“We wanted to surprise you, plus the seafood here is the best!” Leon says. 

“And what if I had lost?”

“Food always works both ways! In celebration or in comfort! It’s always a win-win!” Raihan chuckles. 

“True! Let’s eat!” 

You all sit down at the table and eat to your heart’s content. For the first time, the past few days things between Leon and Raihan seem to be at least at peace. You decide not to question it and just enjoy the moment. Right now you are victorious and one step closer to being the champion. 

“Kabu is next, you think you’re ready?” Raihan asks. 

“I need to get Nile ready for that battle.” 

“Do you think Nile can take Kabu’s team by himself?” Leon asks. 

“Not right now… I may have to test the waters with Hades or Serenity.”

“You’ll figure it out!” Leon says encouragingly. 

“I know but I think it would be good to take some time and train a little before we head to the next gym.”

“Whatever you need Princess…” Raihan says with a smile. 

You feel yourself blush remembering your earlier conversation with Raihan. 

“Whatever I need? What if I need an Ice stone?” you joke.

“Then your wish is our command.”

You chuckle at him. 

Glancing up you notice the way that Leon seems upset and refuses to meet your eyes. He’s playing with his food and you can’t help but wonder what is bothering him. 

Your thoughts are interrupted by a knock on the door. You get up and open the door to find Sonia and Nessa on the other side. 

“Hey! We heard there’s food!” Sonia says as she makes her way into the room. 

“Plenty for everyone!” Raihan exclaims as he pulls you back down beside him, “Even if my plans to seduce you are ruined…”

“Raihan!” you yelp as you swat at him. 

He laughs as he lets you go and you notice the look that Nessa is sending you. 

‘Get that,’ she mouths before taking a bite of the shrimp on her plate. 

You roll your eyes with a shake of your head. 

You all fall into easy banter and you have to admit it’s nice having the girls around. 

“You know when I’ve had enough of the testosterone, the three of us should go on an adventure. Girls only!” you joke as you take a bite of the kale salad before you. 

“Hey, that’s a great idea! You can help me with my research!” Sonia exclaims.

“Plus the challengers will be finished in a month or so I could use an adventure!”

“Plus the guys are going to eventually have to back to their duties, Raihan’s going to have challengers to battle,” Sonia reasons. 

“Are you two suggesting that I leave my favorite girl to fend for herself?” Raihan asks with false outrage. 

“She can handle herself!” Nessa exclaims, “We’ll be there too!”

“No. It’s too dangerous,” Leon says in an angry tone. 

You all look over to Leon, who had been quiet up until this moment.

“Leon…” Sonia starts. 

“I said no,” he says before he gets up and storms from the room.

“What just happened?” asked Nessa looking after the champion. 

Sonia frowns before she gets up to follow behind him. A moment after she disappears behind the door you all hear the two of them arguing before Sonia bursts from the room looking angrier than you’ve ever seen her before. 

“Let’s go, Nessa,” She says as she makes her way to the door, “I’ll call you later (Name).”

You and Raihan blink as you look from one door to the next. 

“What the hell…” you grumble as you begin to clean up the plates. 

“Hey, I got it… why don’t you go check on grumpy? I have a feeling he wants to talk to you…”

“I don’t think so…”

“He does… Go talk to him.”

You frown before you knock hesitantly on the door before you enter. Leon is sitting on the bed with his back to the door. 

“Leon… what’s wrong?” you ask in a small voice. 

He heaves a heavy sigh, “I’m sorry… I ruined your night…”

“I don’t care about that… I just want to know you’re okay…”

“I’m not…”

“Why? What happened? Is it you and Sonia? Did you break up? What just happened?”

“Break up? Sonia and I are just friends…”

“What do you mean? Aren’t you two together?”

“No! I don’t see her like that! She’s like my sister!”

“But… when we were younger…”

“I lied…”

“You lied?”

“That day you asked me who I liked I lied to you because I was too afraid to tell you how I felt.”

“How you felt?”

“I had the biggest crush on you when we were younger… I regretted not telling you how I felt after I set out on my journey so I promised myself that once we faced one another in the league that I would tell you how I felt…”

“But I never made it…”

“No… And then when I came back home you weren’t there and no one knew where you were… Your parents didn’t even know…”

“I remember that year… You wouldn’t have liked me very much then… I didn’t like me very much then…���

“I would have liked you… I have for a very long time.”

“Leon…”

“Raihan confessed… If you want me to leave so that…”

“No, I don’t want you to leave! How could you say that?”

“Don’t you want to be with him?”

“I don’t… know what I want…” 

“I made this whole thing worse didn’t I?”

“No… I just want us all to be together… Things can’t change right now, there is too much at stake.”

“You’re right… We have a band of thieves to apprehend and you have finals to get to.”

You chuckle as you look away…

“I had a crush on you too…”

“Had?”

“I thought you liked Sonia! I thought you wanted to be with her and you finally got what you want so I don’t really know how to feel right now.”

“If I could go back and tell young me…”

“Stop… We wouldn’t be who are today if anything had happened any differently. Our paths have shaped us and it’s not always been an easy path, but I love who I am in this moment with the people that I care about supporting me. I wouldn’t change my shitty life for anything ever.”

“Only you…”

You just shrug as you smirk at him, “Good night Leon. Oh and apologize to Sonia for yelling at her.”

He winces as he recalls his earlier actions, “Will do… Good night…”

You step out the door and Raihan is waiting on the other side. 

“So now you know our secret…”

“That’s what you two have been fighting about? Me?”

“We both like you, but we both want to make sure you’re safe. So we’ve just been co-existing while trying to get you to figure it out. You’re kinda dense when it comes to flirting you know that right?”

“I literally thought you were joking this entire time…”

Raihan chuckled, “Nope! Dragons always go for what they want Princess and believe me when I say I want you. I know you have history with Leon, but trust me when I say I’m not giving up to a man who didn’t have the balls to asks you out when he had the chance.”

“I believe you Raihan.”

“Good, now let’s head to bed, you’ve got training in the morning and I have to prove I’m the better man for you.”

You roll your eyes as he winks at you, but you can’t help the giggle that escapes as you head to your own room. When you pull out your forgotten phone from your bag you notice two text messages one for Sonia and one from Nessa. 

Sonia: You know that Leon likes you right?

Nessa: You know that Raihan likes you right?

You heave an exhausted sigh, “Thanks for the heads up ladies…”

You flop back onto your bed and close your eyes vaguely wondering what the future will hold now that everything is out in the open.

Notes: So a lot happened... Thoughts? Opinions? Concerns? Names for our sweet Applin? What does this mean for our crew? Things are probably going to get worse before they better... I’m just saying... BUT you should like and comment and reblog! As always if you want to be tagged drop an ask! I look forward to hearing your thoughts! Also, this isn’t fully edited... I was excited to get it out tonight...

@Ichigokage @pinktowne @marina-and-the-memes @ssskeletonsoffun @secretly-a-weeb @duizhangdeluxe @swiftly-heart @invaderbekk @crowkie @narees17 @skinklady @nerdyeldritchhorror @wthyuta @serendipityseoul @crescentrax @ninjarose23 @chiizwiz @cherryrocks505 @just-a-dregular @bonniestreet @theofficialkanekibarbie @maryry24 @zea-is-amazing @loch-monsta @artisticchihuahua @hadeselegy @rociomz @emeraldluna

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[shepherds-of-haven]

Hey there! (°▽°)/ I was wondering if you had any advice or tips off the top of your head for anyone else creating interactive fiction/novel style games?

Hi there! I really recommend checking out my other blog, strange voyages, for questions like this, because I created it to share writing tips and answer questions just like this! :) There’s some advice there regarding writing IF already, so that may be helpful to you!!

To answer your question, I think I have a few tips off the top of my head... (Sorry if I’ve said anything like them before, I tend to forget what I’ve said in the past!)

1. I really recommend having a loose but detailed outline of your story and the important decisions in each section of it before starting to code your game. 

By “loose,” I mean being prepared to give yourself leeway and change things around when you’re actually in the thick of writing your story; it’s not a rigid dictation, just a shape of where you’re planning to go, so don’t stress out if you find yourself changing plot points or adding scenes or cutting things later on. BUT I think the #1 reason why I see people abandoning IF WIPs (besides real-life stuff getting in the way) is because ideas spiral out of control and the ambitiousness of the project (and the scope of its coding) becomes overwhelming. Not having a solid outline and just ‘winging it’, I find, can lead to coding/writing oneself into a dead end or into a place where the branching paths become so disparate that the game becomes impossible to write... like having six different games in one! So having an outline written down somewhere can help prevent this paralysis and help ‘prune’ branches before they go out of control!

2. If you find yourself having a “golden path” in your mind--I.E. the one path you’re really excited to write, and the one you want/hope your readers to pick; otherwise known as the ‘canon’ path--and then some branches that you offer for the sake of having choice but which don’t actually excite you... in my mind, you should re-think things until all paths feel equally valid.

This might be a personal thing, but to me, interactive fiction feels a bit pointless if you still intend on readers playing a certain way or path, and the other branches are sort of bonuses in comparison. (However, please do not take this line of thinking too far and think this means you need to write completely different branches, or that IF should offer a vast array of ‘equally-valid’ paths like a villain path and a hero path.) 

But, say you offer a choice for the readers to spend time with only one RO out of three for one chapter. And you find yourself really hoping they spend time with A, and the scenes for A’s route flow smoothly, and the most important things happen in their route, or the most achievements, or some other incentive--conscious or not--that might guide the readers to choose A over the others. And then the scenes for B and C are there but you’re not that excited to write them, or they come out shorter or with less narrative insight than in A’s scenes (for example, spending time with A is the only way to repair your relationship with your sister, a key plot point in the story, but spending time with B and C are just regular dates). That’s an issue and should probably be resolved! Whether that means revamping your characters so that you’re just as excited to write B and C’s scenes, dividing A’s content up among all three, or doing something else, getting that feeling of “ugh I like writing this one plot but not the others” is something I think conventional fiction writers probably struggle with at first when writing IF, or especially when converting a traditional novel to an interactive one. And I think it’s something to watch out for to avoid falling into the trap of “this is actually just a book with changing flavor text”!

3. Avoid sharing your work too early. 

This one might prove controversial, but I firmly believe that there’s a critical point where the story is still in its nascent stages, and sharing it too early can lead to things becoming overwhelming. This can mean garnering excited readers, but then feeling beholden and obligated to keep their interest up by pushing out constant updates; this turns the writing and excitement of a new project into a chore, and passion can quickly wane as the writer feels like their IF is now a burden, something they have to “answer to” rather than just do for fun. Sometimes the feedback of many different readers at once can dilute the direction of a still-percolating story; in an effort to please everyone, the writer finds themselves agreeing to come up with a character or RO they never planned on, or changing aspects of the story they weren’t expecting to, or trying to rewrite a prologue to incorporate all its early feedback, and they get so caught up in the details of responding to readers’ comments and tweaking their early work in accordance to readers’ suggestions so much that the story either becomes unrecognizable--leading to loss of interest in it--or they become immobilized in the beginning of the story and rehaul/rewrite it over and over, never moving on to the later sequences of the plot. This happens in novel-writing and workshops, too, and I saw a lot of students lose interests in their projects quickly because they shared the first ten pages of it with the class before having anything else written. So my advice would be to having a solid foundation of your story and a good, substantial chunk of it done before sharing it with the world! Feedback and advice are always good and helpful in improving an artist’s work, but I think timing can be important, especially when a writer is newer to the craft!

That’s just my two cents, of course! I hope any of this helps you, and feel free to come back with more specific questions if you have them!