#and everyone is suddenly using boomer memes

[ghost-bxrd]

okay so this is an idea I’ve seen brought up maybe once before, but maybe Jason (before the Bats find out who he is) accidentally lets something slip that makes them realize that he’s literally, like, a child (seventeen, sixteen, I’m not sure how old he is at that point exactly, but either works)

and Bruce “adoption addiction” Wayne promptly looks at this obviously traumatized teenager and decides that he should adopt Red Hood.

I just think Jason would be so confused (maybe a little pissed too)

I’ve touched on that a little bit in What you’re longing for (you claim to abhor)!

I think this trope is wayyy underrated. Like, Jason is still so, so young. Basically a child. Even if he died at sixteen and then spent two years with the league (even if we’re counting the time he spent dead as aging). He’s barely even legal when he returns to Gotham. Or if we’re being generous let’s say he’s nineteen.

Doesn’t matter, he’s barely out of his teens (maybe he’s still IN his teens if you bend the timeline of your fic a little) and he’s experienced horrors that would have most people become utterly unable to function. But Jason? That boy takes his trauma and channels it into anger. Which, not exactly healthy, but well.

Anyway, getting off topic:

YES. Jason is still basically a kid when he debuts as the Red Hood, and you know what else he is? A good boy who’s not gonna touch any alcohol until he’s officially 21.

“But why would he do that? He grew up in Crime Alley! Ain’t nobody got time for age limitations!”

Hear me out! Let’s assume he grew up in a household where his father, Willis Todd, drank quite a lot on the regular in addition to his mom’s addiction. Jason experienced the aftermath of this (perhaps domestic violence?) every time his dad returned from a job/jail and he grew to loathe any and all substances, including alcohol. Knowing Jason and his convictions it wouldn’t be too far fetched to assume he’d never touch a single drop of alcohol at all.

So that’s one way he could slip up while taking to his goons (and having the bats overhear) or even straight up talking to one of them where maybe Dick banters a bit and goes “Hey, perhaps you should chill out a bit. Have a drink maybe” and Jason just instinctively goes “Fuck you Dickwing, I’m seventeen/eighteen/nineteen! I’m not allowed to drink!”

And Dick just— bluescreens. And immediately goes to tell Bruce, obviously.

OR

The Bats assume Jason is this old guy (Bruce’s or Drathstroke’s age maybe) and consequently they keep alluding to things that happened way before Jason was ever even born and at first he’s so? Confused??? But eventually it just gets really annoying and eventually he just— snaps.

“How the fuck would I know which Nokia gen hit the market that year? I was born in fuckin’ XXXX, I’m an iPhone kid!”

“Stop referencing the Cold War dipshit, I’m fucking seventeen! I’m glad I remember my own damn birthday!”

“I don’t know, I was like— two back then.”

Bruce, obviously, would take .1 seconds to realize:

“Omg. That’s- that’s a whole child. That’s a whole damn TRAUMATIZED child, killing people and sawing off heads. Omg someone must have hurt him so bad. Don’t worry tho, son, Batman’s got you. You won’t have to hurt anybody ever again. We’re here for you. Would you like the room next to Tim’s or Dick’s?”

Meanwhile Jason: “what the fuck”

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 288: ZOOM AND ENHANCE

Previously on BnHA: Tomura, AFO, Deku, and Nana all met up inside of OFA and were all, “wow this is awkward.” AFO talked a whole bunch about vestiges before realizing that nobody cared (EXCEPT FOR ME. I CARED!!), and was then all “anyway so just to get everyone up to speed here, Tomura is Nana’s grandson.” OFA appeared and was all “what up bro I see you’re still a dick”, and then everyone stood around for a bit waging psychokinetic war on each other and blowing up on the ground and shit. This didn’t really accomplish anything, so AFO shifted gears and started trash talking Deku instead, because he’s a whiny little punkass loser who can’t admit when his brother has gotten the best of him yet again! OFA was all “anyways Deku rules and haters gonna hate, peace”, and then everyone wooshed back out of OFA and back into the real world, Deku with his quirk still intact. Meanwhile Gigantomachia and the LoV stampeded ever closer to the city, and Toga started monologuing in preparation for a seemingly inevitable battle with Ochako! And then the chapter basically just ended there lol.

Today on BnHA: Imagine you are Uraraka Ochako. And you’re out here doing what you do best, saving bitches and being a badass, when all of a sudden some old lady runs up to you and is all “PLEASE HELP ME, MY HUSBAND IS ASLEEP OR SOME SHIT, YOU KNOW US OLD PEOPLE, WE’RE SO FUCKING FEEBLE AND HAPLESS.” And so you’re all “OF COURSE” because you’re a good fucking person, and then she speeds off like she’s got fucking wheels and it’s like damn, grandma, were you in varsity track or what, and then OUT OF NOWHERE she just spontaneously turns into HIMIKO FUCKING TOGA. And she’s all naked and shit, and it’s like damn, Toga, where are your clothes, and she just giggles and ducks into a nearby building. And so you follow her for god knows what reason, and she fucking pounces on you and starts interrogating you in like the most seductive way possible, and you’re all wtf is this. Like, can you even imagine. Anyway so Ochako is having quite a day.

okay lol so I’ve gotta kind of rush through this since I’ve got other stuff I need to wrap up today as well, so! fingers crossed that we get a nice, simple chapter with no controversies or elaborate revelations or anything like that! just give me lots of stuff to mindlessly keysmash about, Horikoshi. I’m counting on you bro

lol what

an actual fucking plane?? is that allowed?? how bizarrely normal. are we sure this plane does not shoot lasers or something or is powered by someone with like a fusion reactor quirk idk

and who tf is Takeo-san. some random guy Horikoshi is suddenly introducing after 300 chapters to come save everyone at the last minute? pretty sus. Horikoshi is this your self insert

GASP

NO WAY THIS IS ALL MIGHT, RIGHT?? holy shit I swear to god if it’s All Might this lady needs to TURN THE FUCK AROUND RIGHT NOW. stop at McDonalds, order a black coffee for herself and only herself, and drive the rest of the way back home without so much as a bathroom break. there are certain prophecies which we don’t need to be tempting right now, okay people?? holy shit

(ETA: OR, here’s a thought, WHAT IF IT’S BEST JEANIST. hope springs eternal lmao. anyways though surely it’s not actually All Might. he can’t die yet, he’s got like 5 million secret things he needs to explain to Deku, and also Kacchan is unconscious and he can’t just SLEEP RIGHT THROUGH ALL MIGHT’S DEATH like come on.)

oh look more heroes all lining up to be slaughtered by Machia

real talk, at this point their priority should just be evacuating any citizens in Machia’s path, and then getting the fuck out of his way. none of them stand a chance in hell at stopping him and they know it. the body count is already high enough as it is. regroup and live to fight another day, people

anyway, so Machia is apparently plowing through cities at 100km per hour. that... actually might not be fast enough. Gunga and Jakku were 80km apart, so at that rate it would take him nearly an hour to reach Tomura. that fight’s gonna be long done by the time they get there. huh

okay these guys are saying he’s going to reach them in about 8 minutes. ?? so are you telling me Tomura and Deku and the rest have been fighting for like 40 minutes already?? lmao Gran probably bled to death half an hour ago at this rate. Horikoshi please explain yourself. some of us spent our entire childhoods doodling comics instead of paying attention in math and science AND IT SHOWS

anyway so this is all very bad and this guy is really rubbing it in just how bad it is

I mean... yeah. obviously the villains are still to blame at the core of it all, but yeah. feels like you all could have planned a hell of a lot better for this. you knew there was the risk of Tomura waking up, and you knew there was also the risk of Gigantomachia waking up as well. and you pretty much had no contingency plan at all huh. society is really gonna be in shambles after this

lmao look at this shit. Machia is so big at this point that it looks like they’re having a picnic in the middle of some desert somewhere. at what point does it cease being a guy’s back and start being its own zip code

even has its own wifi. amazing

oh shit Compress apparently spotted someone and he’s asking Skeptic to “zoom and enhance” like it’s CS fucking I. that’s not how it works Compress you fucking boomer

anyway so OF COURSE,

was there a reason you needed to zoom in on them, other than to trigger Toga?? some people just want to watch the world burn

so Toga is now GEARIN’ UP!!

that honestly is so fucking handy. over at U.A. they have to carry their gear in briefcases like scrubs. does Compress actually have the best quirk in the world?? it flies under the radar so well that I always forget about it, but like WHAT CAN’T IT DO though, y’know??

WELL WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN MY DUDE

“oh hey is that the U.A. kids? Skeptic could you please zoom in on them for absolutely no reason? OH MY GOD TOGA IS RUNNING OFF TO FIGHT THEM, OH MY GOD WHO COULD HAVE FORESEEN, OH MY GOD”

now he’s all “DABI PLEASE DO SOMETHING” but Dabi is all “DABI DON’T CARE”

Dabi don’t care about NOTHING OR NO ONE!! Dabi don’t got time for this

lmao I literally forgot that Spinner was even there, shit

so are you gonna go with her then or not? because I got news for you dude, it doesn’t matter how heartwarming your speech is, nothing can stop this girl now that she’s gone full distracted boyfriend meme

AW BUT IT REALLY IS HEARTWARMING THOUGH

Spinner is the glue keeping this dysfunctional Addams family together honestly. too bad he couldn’t stop Compress from OPENING HIS BIG DUMB MOUTH ah well

lmao but he’s letting her go anyway though

Spinner for new LoV President. all in favor??

ANYWAYS LOL THIS IS BAD

“ACCELERATE EVACUATIONS” LOL WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO OCHAKO HE’S MOVING AT 100KM AN HOUR AND HE’S LIKE FUCKING GODZILLA SIZED FKJLK

“PLEASE RUN OUTSIDE OF THE VILLAIN’S PERIPHERY” well thank fucking god the people have you guys to guide them what would they even do without you lklkhlkds

NO HORIKOSHI DON’T YOU DARE

IF YOU HURT MY GIRL FROPPY I SWEAR TO GOD!! LEAVE HER ALONE YOU BRIGAND

OH THANK GOD

“sorry for SAVING YOUR LIFE” smh. anyway so how fucking badass is Ochako though?? can we just talk about this. THE GIRL POWER ARC STRIKES AGAIN hot damn

(ETA: and btw, seeing as Iida is nowhere to be found, I’d say odds are pretty good that they did in fact send him to go warn the Endeavorsquad of Gigantomachia’s imminent arrival. godspeed Iida! they need all the help they can get right now honestly.)

EXCUSE ME BUT ARE YOU TOGA

IS THIS TOGA. THIS IS DEFINITELY TOGA OMG

“I IMMEDIATELY TRUST YOU AND I WILL FOLLOW YOU TO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH” noooo Ochako nooooo

damn Toga you really drained some poor old lady’s blood just so you could pull this kind of sneaky shit. I forgot how much I loved you

ohhhh lol so it’s her “husband” that is Takeo-san lol

THE BETTER TO LURE YOU INTO A TRAP MY DEAR

lmao Ochako you rube

now you’ve done it Toga. there is nothing Ochako loves more than a good old fashioned Old People Romance. DID YOU KNOW SHE HAS SEEN THE NOTEBOOK LIKE FIFTY TIMES. AND NO MATTER WHAT, IT ALWAYS GETS HER AT THE END. meanwhile I just want to watch a movie where James Marsden actually gets the girl for once but we all know that will never happen

OH MY

ngl this page would be like a thousand times better if Ochako was still blushing omg. did I ship this before?? I honestly can’t remember but I sure as fuck ship it now goddammit

(ETA: pretty sure I shipped it back during the Forest arc too but I don’t have time to check right now lol. but Toga is just so horny on main for everyone, all the time, and so like, it’s hard not to ship it.)

so now Toga is running off all flirtatiously and Ochako is barreling after her lol

plot twist, Takeo-san is actually in there. and he has NO IDEA what’s going on. WHAT HAPPENED TO MY WIFE. WHY IS THERE A GIANT MOLE MAN BURROWING THROUGH THE CITY

Ochako why on earth would you follow Toga into this dark creepy house where she could spring at you from any angle out of nowhere. just go back outside and float up over it until you have a high enough vantage point to see all the exits and just wait for her to come out

Toga says she wanted to talk to Tsuyu-chan as well, but let’s be real, you and her don’t have the same kind of electrically charged kismesis energy that you’ve got going on with Ochako though

LMAO DEKU NOWHERE IS SAFE

getting dragged like a fucking wedding train and he’s not even there to defend himself, shit

blah blah blah just ask her your question already Toga

MY WORD

would someone please inform Toga that this manga is only rated PG-13

so now Ochako is all “seriously Toga wtf”

you see that’s what I wanted to know too, lol. I really like that the characters actually think about these things and ask these kind of questions. that’s exactly the contrast between the heroes and the villains right there. the villains care about each other, they’ll give each other heartwarming speeches to please come back alive, and yet they’re utterly indifferent to the thousands of people being killed as they demolish their way through city after city. meanwhile by contrast Ochako’s first thought upon being erotically waylaid by her sexy knife-wielding archnemesis is “but what about that poor old lady is she all right.” just completely opposite energies, almost to a hilarious degree. like maybe Ochako actually should worry about herself just a little bit more lol but heroes gonna hero

and so now what, Toga!! you’re gonna pout about it?? like she’s betrayed you somehow?

anyway so that’s the end of the chapter! and I’ll just come right out and say that I’m hoping that this fight ends up being something where Toga maybe starts to see things just a little bit more from Ochako’s point of view, and not the other way around, because otherwise I’ll be a little frustrated, ngl. the manga has done an excellent job of making the villains likeable and relatable and getting us to sympathize with them up till this point, but at some point it’s got to start refuting some of these arguments and making it clear that the villains do not actually have any kind of moral high ground here

and also! I really like Toga and would like her to have some kind of redemption arc! but as of now that’s looking to be really difficult if not impossible to pull off, because Toga hasn’t exactly shown a whole lot of remorse for anything she’s done so far, you know? because she doesn’t see it as bad in any way; to her it’s just her way of expressing love, and being true to who she is. but being true to yourself really should NOT involve, you know, MURDER, and so yeah. it’s a problem lmao

but who knows! maybe this battle with Ochako will be the start of something which eventually leads to some sort of change within her! I have absolutely no idea how that could play out tbh, but even so I can hope! either that or she will double down on the whole “villains are victims and heroes are apathetic cruel hypocrites” ideology and decide she wants to kill Ochako and Izuku for breaking her heart, in which case I will be very sad, but I guess if that’s the way Horikoshi’s gonna play it it is what it is!

and lastly, so is this going to be like the final battle between them or something?? surely not, right? like this is just round 2 of 3. well at any rate, it’s sure going to be interesting

[relatablemormonmoments]

I'm so done with purity culture and trying to mimic whoever seems the wokest. A lot of people have bad takes and its ok to be critical of them. Grey space does exist.

Anyways I've decided I'm entering into a new Draigin Era. Its called growth.

Also purity culture on the internet is so tiring. Just let people enjoy things. And if they enjoy something you don't like, then ignore them. And if they enjoy something illegal, then report and ignore them. It's not that hard.

Twitter culture means you have to be a soldier constantly fighting in a war of philosophy. That's tiring. I want to embrace a culture of learning and growth and not being overwhelmed by having to have an opinion on literally every current event. God save me if it's not the *right* opinion because I could only get limited information on that event through screenshots. I'm 18, I shouldn't have to know everything about the war with mars, I should just meme about bezos and elon making out with the martians.

We live in a frustrating time where we have a wealth of knowledge and a neverending stream of news being shoved at us. War here, fire there, drought somewhere, and simultaneously everybody and nobody cares. I'm so done. It's exhausting. I just want to exist without someone asking me what my opinion is on a country I've barely ever heard of just because there's currently twitter drama on it right now.

We live in a time where because everyone feels the need to broadcast their opinion on everything, beloved figures of our childhood, people who we look up to, relatives even, suddenly become tainted and evil. Every person is wrong, every organisation and company is evil. I'm so sick and tired of constantly monitoring what I like. I could be like "I like succulents!" one day, and then a year later I get a notification on that post says "Succulents have been found as the main cause of cancer. Congratulations, you support death." (This is exactly how everyone who suddenly hates Harry Potter and can't let other people enjoy it just because Rowling sucks as a human being. And we wouldn't know that she sucks so much if she didnt broadcast everything.)

Bring back the innocence, bring back the times when the only drama was found in trashy magazines and the Enquirer and maybe AOL news. Bring back the times when we "hated" old people because they didn't understand the latest lingo or videogames or memes, not because "all boomers are inherently evil." Bring back the existence of fun, of nuance, of life.

I wish we could exist on the internet without feeling the need to tell everyone every single one of our opinions so that we could be judged by puritanical gods behind their glowing screens.

[fizzingwizard]

Yay it’s my favorite time of the week! Digimon Adventure:! Can’t believe we’re already at episode 16! This week somewhat recapped the mission we’ve been on for... 14 episdoes now x’D and I realized I forgot all kinds of shit. It’s so funny, when I was ten and watching Digimon Adventure I could remember everything, but now that I’m sadly an adult I can’t keep track of these high paced children’s shows!

(Supposedly they spoon feed kids stories so they can understand it more easily... but I gotta say I think I’m the one that needs the help, bahahaha)

ALSO... apparently there was an earthquake this morning! It was too north of me so I didn’t feel it (I was... also sleeping >-> so...) But it was right when the show started airing so the info came scrolling across the screen. At first it said

“Just in case, be careful of tsunami”

and like just three min or so later

“There is no need to worry about a tsunami due to this earthquake”

Phew! Also, Digimon causes earthquakes! Hide yo wife hide yo kids! Is that meme still current?? Does it matter???? I’m a millennial, boomers hate me, gen Z hates me, at least let me have my memes! XD

OK enough goofing off, on to what really matters, freaking Digimon man! This episode gave me tons of Taichi spam. Mmm my favorite kind of spam! But it also gave me avocado cheeseburger spam too!

So although I completely forgot about it, I was pretty excited for this ep when they allegedly return to the real world! Last week’s preview made it pretty obvious it was going to be either a fake reality or the evil Digimon had taken over the real world much more deeply than we realized. Fake reality made the most sense. But they tried to trip us up anyway! The opening shots are clear references to the famous episode 21 of 99 Adventure, although given that was the best animated episode of the entire show, this one just doesn’t do it justice.

He’s not sweating, the sun isn’t as intense... it just makes Fizz nostalgic

Finding them suddenly home, the kids are all pretty bewildered at first. Predictably, Mimi is the first to recover. What motivates her?

AVOCADO CHEESEBURGER! AVOCADO CHEESEBURGER!

From Burger Jack’s bahahahaha

Mimi starts excitedly listing all the things she wants to do now that they’re home. Aside from eat delicious burgers, she wants to take a shower, change clothes...

I’m like “Oh, so these kids HAVE been feeling the effects of how much traveling they’ve been doing!”

Seriously though why didn’t anyone comment on it before now?? In 99 Adventure most of the kids couldn’t shut up about the lack of basic necessities and creature comforts. It was really easy to feel how much they were struggling! Everyone in this series is so darn serious all the time. Sora even brought that big bag of emergency supplies but we only rarely see it get used.

Taichi and Koushirou are a little more wary, though they come across as mainly confused.

Mimi wants to go eat burgers right off, but Taichi convinces her they should go home first. “Oh yeah, I have parents” - Mimi, probably.

They get on a train. The Digimon are very cute. They finally notice that no one’s paying attention to them. It took 0.3 seconds for Tokyoites in ep 21 of 99 Adventure to start freaking out over Koromon, so this was a big clue if you somehow missed that there’s something not right.

On the other hand, for a world that is presumably an illusion created by some Digimon, it sure is, er...

... accurate in surprising ways, bahahaha

(no seriously did we NEED bikini girls?? did we NEED them? I know it’s everywhere on every train for all kinds of proucts but did we NEED them here)

(the TEEN 17 in particular is killing me)

Some gratuitous Taichi spam

Mimi lives in the affluent Shibuya area now so the kids split up to continue on home. I love Taichi called her ‘ojousama.’

Taichi wonders if Yamato and the others got home okay too. Koushirou wonders if whatever was causing the blackout has really been defeated. (Mimi’s theory is “Sora-san and the others must have done something about it!” Which I just liked because by naming her she identifies Sora as the one she feels closest to awww)

They won’t say it, but the truth is these two are kinda disappointed... lol

However they won’t be disappointed for long... because this midnight train really isn’t going anywhere. *wink* see what i did there

Mimi’s walk home has also turned into a labyrinth. Which is totally normal for Toyko subways really. Mimi gets so tired from walking that she starts hallucinating that Palmon’s head is in fact an avocado.

Girl you got a problem but no judging. I got the same problem.

AVOCADO BURGER!! Think of it in your heart and it will appear!

Now that’s not creepy at all.

Several episodes ago we learned that Mimi has never seen The Mummy. Apparently she’s never seen any horror movies at all, because she still approaches the counter to order her freaking burger even after seeing the cashier’s shadowy clearly evil visage.

YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR LITTLE GIRL

On finally realizing that this train can’t go anywhere but Shibuya, Taichi and Koushirou get off and reunite with Mimi, who has learned nothing and continues talking to people. The only possible result of this is...

... creepy eyes appearing and trying to EAT her

Mimi: “Taichi-san!!”

she could ask her partner for protection but Taichi’s around and he’s everyone’s big brother so

The cause of all this mischief turns out to be this creepy dude! He’s kind of cute!

Also rather larger and more solid than I anticipated!

Of course this nightmare won’t end so easily.

You know you’re in for it when the walls are covered in glowing red eyes. That uh, shoot laser beams at you.

Cyclops: Not lasers! Concussive optic rays!

It turns out there wasn’t just one creepy dude, there were many. I’ve found my Halloween costume!

Our heroes finally figure out that this world is not their real world when they come across these tetris people.

For someone who’s never watched a single scary movie, Mimi does an impressive white-girl-in-a-horror-flick face.

I know she’s not white I’m saying she’s good at impressions she should become a comedienne

Now that we know the blackout in Japan is still ongoing and causing all sorts of issues, we get our usual peek into what’s going on for the people of Tokyo. We get to see Hikari! She’s cool as a cucumber. Her mom’s freaking out and packing a suitcase. Her mom says “Hikari go get ready!” Hikari just says “Oh I’m ready anytime!”

Hikari: I’m not worried about anything, big brother’s taking care of it!

Awww we get to see Miko! And that looks like a cat carrier <3 Mom’s not leaving their furry friend behind in the dark while they evacuate to grandpa’s place in Ibaraki...

... She is apparently cool with leaving behind her only son though! X’D

The letter reads “Taichi, we’re going to Grandpa’s place in Ibaraki. Call me when you get home.” The arrow says “Address.”

Ibaraki is a bit over an hour from Tokyo (I used to live there!) so not too far and very easy to get to by train. Still... there’s a huge power outage, I can only assume Mom’s reason here really is evacuation and not just “seems like a great time to go on a visit!” but she doesn’t know where one of her kids is and she’s just like “eh no worries he’ll figure out his way home!” Does she KNOW her son is 11? Japanese kids use trains very independently but again, POWER OUTAGE. ONE HOUR+ AWAY.

I’m remembering episode 1 when Taichi was acting like such a Dad and his mom was totally on board. Apparently that is going to be a Thing in their family. Taichi is the kid in Home Alone. Scratch that, he’s like the pets in Homeward Bound X’D

Mimi is understandably disappointed that she doesn’t get to shower... I mean see her parents... I mean, eat a freaking avocado cheeseburger

But Palmon knows how to make her feel better. “We’ll come back here someday and eat avocado cheeseburgers together.”

Mimi: “Heck YEAH I’m psyched!! AVOCADO CHEESEBURGER!”

this show understands the only true way to a woman’s heart is through food.

Our heroes are surrounded by Homunculus from FMA.

They merge together forming the aptly named EYESMON!!! lmao

Look at freaking long Greymon’s cyborg arm is. Whut.

AtlurKabuterimon gets hit by a train buhaahaha. Somehow this was way funnier to me than Lilymon getting hit by a plane or buildings falling on MetalGreymon.

The kids are outnumbered when look who appears!

The three of them sitting on Zudomon is the cutest thing ever also I JUST NOTICED ZUDOMON’S DOLPHIN PATCH WHAT THE HECK HAS THAT ALWAYS BEEN THERE!??!?!?!!?

So this was the reunion ep after all! I’m a little disappointed just because I wanted something more dramatic.

What Fizz, illusion magic and homunculi plus exploding Shibuya isn’t dramatic enough for you?

I mean EMOTIONALLY dramatic. Like, someone should hug.

Oh well. This is the face Taichi makes when he sees Yamato. D’aww. I guess i’ll be satisfied with this.

Yamato gets them started on a plan and they all fight as a group!! But Koushirou’s realized that this Digimon, whatever it is, is what’s causing the blackout. They can’t properly defeat it...

... and it’s already the night of the third day. Soon their 72 hour window will be up. Then Ariel will turn back into a Mermaid and the Sea Witch wins :’<

We end with an ominous digivolution! Next week....

Orochimon!!! I love multi headed monsters.

More Taiyama action!!! Lookin a bit beat up but still cool!

OK so in sum this episode was pretty fun. I still feel like the writers for this season just don’t dig in deep enough to really make things come alive. They’re so concerned with battles that they miss moments for fun character interactions etc. And in the end, the whole of this episode can be recapped simply as “They discover the world they’re in is an illusion and they fight the bad guy.” However, we got a lot of fun with Mimi in particular, and though we didn’t get the kind of Taishiro teamwork my heart yearns for, at least we saw them sticking together and hashing things out.

I really do hope this show dials up the character relationships a bit soon though. We keep getting tidbits so it’s not like they don’t have things planned. It’s just a matter of execution. Anyway I’m happy to have the whole group (well as many as we’ve got so far) together again!

[generaldisdainn]

Four of a Kind

AO3 link

Rating: MA

Pairing: Kristanna

Summary: After accepting a job as the head of marketing for a local animal shelter, Anna finds herself in a new city in need of a place to live. Luckily, 3 guys know just the place.

Previous chapter

Chapter 9 (we’re back to our regularly scheduled fluff and shenanigans hehe)

“Alright. It’s official.” Anna came out into the kitchen and enunciated her entrance by throwing a drawer handle onto the island where Kristoff, Ryder, and Sven were all sitting. “I need a new dresser. Who wants to go with me to Target to get one?”

Sven pushed his stool back dramatically. “I call shotgun!”

“Okay, I’ll take that as a yes,” Anna chuckled.

“I’ll go too!” Ryder said with a smile.

“Kristoff?” Anna turned to him, wondering if he would join them. 

“Sure, what the hell. I could use a couple of things from there.”

“Alright!” Anna clapped her hands together, suddenly excited to have the whole group with her. She figured it would turn a boring shopping trip into an actual event. “Let’s go!”

After a moment spent gathering up their things (Sven had to change into a different outfit before they left and Ryder insisted on bringing a snack "just in case"), they made their way down to the parking lot. Kristoff decided to drive since his car would be spacious enough to accommodate the four of them and a dresser. Sven got shotgun while Ryder and Anna sat in the back. Ryder handed Anna his phone every once in a while to show her a meme at which Anna would laugh earnestly.

“Oh my god, dude, pick a song!” Kristoff huffed. They’d only been driving for a minute, but Sven had already skipped through about 15 songs. 

“I’m trying to find one to fit the mood!” Sven retorted as he flew past another five songs. 

“Oh, play that Tik Tok song! Say So!” Ryder eagerly suggested.

“Ryder, you know nobody else in this car uses that app,” Sven replied.

“Alright, well you guys are missing out. When we get home I want everyone to see the dance I learned last night and you guys will change your mind,” Ryder asserted.

“Oh my god,” Sven groaned.

Anna smiled at the thought of Ryder learning Tik Tok dances in his room. She’d be lying if she said she had never wanted to try one herself. “I want to see your dance, Ryder! Maybe we could learn one together sometime!” 

Ryder looked at her with a wide grin. “Yes!”

“Anna, don’t tell me you use that godforsaken app too,” Sven said with a resigned sigh.

Anna shrugged. “I do sometimes. I think it’s fun.”

“Doesn’t it steal your data and send it to China or something?” Kristoff chimed in.

“Yeah like every app doesn’t already collect all of your data,” Ryder scoffed, rolling his eyes for effect. He turned up to the front, pointing a finger towards Sven and Kristoff. “You guys are just mad because you’re boomers now. You’re old and you’re boomers and you refuse to accept that the world is moving on without you.”

Anna laughed and slapped a high five with Ryder, smiling at their newfound solidarity in using Tik Tok of all things.

“If being a boomer means that I don’t waste my time watching horny people thrust their hips to music then I will gladly claim that title," Sven said with a confident nod. "Right, Kristoff?” 

“I accepted my fate as a boomer a long time ago,” Kristoff agreed. 

Sven turned around to face the back, his mouth quirked upwards in a mischievous smile. “When we were in college, Kristoff would go around and bang on people’s doors to get them to shut up late at night.”

“What? I needed my sleep. And I know other people were thankful that I did that,” Kristoff said defensively. Anna laughed at the image of a grumpy, sleep-deprived Kristoff roused out of bed and making his way to a room where kids were up late partying. Sometimes he really did give off the energy of an old man. She couldn’t help but find it endearing.

The car came to a halt in the parking lot. “Alright, boomers and zoomers,” Kristoff began, sending a look back to Ryder and Anna on the word ‘zoomers’. “Everyone out. We’re here.”

***

Anna made her way down the furniture aisle, appraising the various dressers and armoires. Nothing piqued her interest like she hoped it would. 

“You okay?” Kristoff asked from behind her. The concerned tone in his voice tugged at her heart. She knew the face she made when she was concentrated oftentimes made her look worried.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just looking.”

“Do you like any of them?”

Anna hummed thoughtfully for a moment as she looked over her limited options. “Not really. I think I might have to go somewhere else. I would’ve loved to go to Ikea, but I think the closest one is like an hour away.”

“I’m not doing anything today if you wanted to go to Ikea. I could drive you. Not if you don’t want that of course, but it might be nice. There's no pressure or anything though-”

“Kristoff,” Anna interrupted his rambling, placing a comforting hand on his arm. “I’d love that.” They shared an easy smile for a moment. 

They were both brought out of their shared comfort as Ryder careened past them in a shopping cart and crashed into the stand next to them. Sven stood at the end of the aisle, a hand over his stomach as he doubled over in laughter. 

“I can’t take you guys anywhere,” Kristoff said with a sigh, his mouth forming a slightly amused smirk nonetheless. 

***

“Can we go to Lowes? I want to get some of those wall-hangy things for my new plant,” Ryder asked as the four of them headed back to the car after their Target run.

Anna was about to nod in agreement, but Sven jumped in before she could say anything.

“Oh, I’m actually not allowed in Lowes.” He said it so nonchalantly. The rest of the group faltered and stopped in their tracks while Sven kept going towards the car, completely unphased.

“Why aren’t you allowed in Lowes?” Anna hesitantly asked. There was a tiny part of her that thought that he was joking, but he had said it so sincerely, as if being banned from a large chain store was a common occurrence.

“Oh, I think I barricaded one of the aisles with plywood? I don’t really remember to be honest. I was high off my ass.”

“Sven, when the fuck was this?” Kristoff asked incredulously.

“It was like the beginning of freshman year of college. We weren’t super close then, so you didn’t go out with me.”

“Jesus Christ,” Kristoff groaned.

“I used to be pretty dumb. But it’s a fun story to tell.”

“Used to be?” Kristoff asked.

Sven rolled his eyes and nudged his friend playfully.

They drove back to the house together. Sven was finally able to settle on a song and danced along in the front seat while Ryder and Anna laughed at Tik Toks in the back. 

Kristoff dropped Ryder and Sven off and waved them goodbye as Anna climbed into the passenger seat and plopped down next to him. 

“I’ll find a dance for us to learn before you get back!” Ryder promised. Anna nodded enthusiastically and gave him a thumbs up while Sven rolled his eyes.

“Thanks again for driving me, Kristoff,” Anna said with an earnest smile as Kristoff pulled out into the street.

“Yeah, it’s no problem,” he replied, gazing at the road ahead, hoping she wouldn't see the subtle blush playing out across his cheeks. “I’m happy to do it.”

***

Kristoff looked over at Anna for a moment, allowing himself to admire the way she gazed out the window with wistful wonder at the passing trees. They had been driving for a good fifteen minutes or so at that point, conversation and comfortable silence passing between them easily. They had almost immediately settled back into friendly coexistence after their fight and subsequent reconciliation. They began watching shows together on the couch at night, and last weekend the four of them had all gone out together. Even on the rare day when they didn’t see each other, they were still a part of each other’s lives in small ways. Kristoff had gotten into the habit of leaving a piece of bread in the toaster for when Anna woke up, and Anna made a point of preheating the oven so it was hot for his dinner when he got home from work. They were thoughtful habits that they had both gotten into. Things were back to normal for them, even surpassing what their normalcy once was. The easy car ride so far had been a reflection of that.

A song came on the radio, and Anna suddenly bolted upright. “Oh my god, this song.”

“What about it?”

“This was one of my breakup songs with Hans.”

“Your breakup song?”

“Yeah, you know, like a song that helps you get through your breakup. You had to have had one.”

“I didn’t!”

“Are you serious? There wasn’t a single song that really spoke to you after your breakup?”

“No, I didn’t even know that was a thing until just now,” Kristoff said with a chuckle, amused by the sudden shock in Anna’s voice.

“Oh my god, I have an entire playlist on my Spotify called ‘Hans Sucks.’”

“Get outta here.”

“No, I’m dead serious- look!” Anna flashed her phone at Kristoff for a brief moment- just long enough for him to catch a glimpse of the playlist’s title: ‘Hans Sucks’.

“Okay, I actually have to hear this.”

Anna laughed and plugged in her phone. The first song that came on was “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together.”

“Wow, very creative,” Kristoff teased.

Anna swatted at him. “Shush, this song’s amazing.” Anna sang along, bopping her head and singing the lyrics like she was the only one in the car. Kristoff smiled. If he hadn’t been driving he probably would have stared at her the whole time, captivated by the fiery tendrils of her hair that bounced as she sang and the way the light caught in her eyes. He didn’t know the song very well (he wouldn’t call himself a Taylor Swift fan), but her energy was infectious. He found himself bouncing his head and tapping his fingers on the steering wheel. 

There were some more unfamiliar breakup songs that came on, some of which Kristoff found to be surprisingly empowering. 

“You know, I’m starting to get this whole breakup song thing.”

“Right? They make you feel powerful! Like- fuck you, Samantha!”

Kristoff laughed.

They went back and forth on music for a bit, sharing stories about their favorite songs and lyrics.

“I had my first kiss to this song.”

Anna nearly choked. “Apple Bottom Jeans?”

Kristoff chuckled to himself. “It’s called ‘Low’, but yes, unfortunately.” He supposed it did sound a little ridiculous when you said it out loud. “It was at my 8th-grade dance. This song was on when I kissed my date under the bleachers.”

“That’s hilarious. I think my first kiss was after a date in high school? It was gross. He used way too much tongue.”

“Oh yeah, I used to be a terrible kisser. I’d like to think I’m okay now though.”

Anna hummed to herself for a moment. “I’d say you’re more than okay.” 

Kristoff blushed, her words sending a shiver down his spine. He remembered what it felt like to kiss her- the soft way she bit at his bottom lip, the feeling of her hand in his hair. He was suddenly thankful he had the driving to focus on. 

“Sorry, was that too much?” Anna asked. The sudden nervousness in her tone made him rush to reassure her. 

“No, no, you’re fine." He could still sense her doubt. He tore his eyes from the road for a moment to offer her what he hoped would be a reassuring smile.  "I promise. I was just caught off guard. Here- play this song next.”

The two continued to exchange songs and stories. Kristoff kept his mind on the driving. If we wasn’t careful, he swore he would crash the car getting lost in the way she moved.

***

Anna felt her arm brush against Kristoff’s as they walked down one of the hallways in Ikea. She had the sudden urge to grab his hand or maybe even cling to his arm as they walked. “He asked for time. He needs space,” Anna reminded herself. Kristoff looked down at her with a smile and those warm, brown eyes. She felt her stomach dip as she let herself get lost in them for a moment. Nope. She couldn’t. She turned to her right and made her way over to a couch, pretending to be enthralled with one of the intricate pillows. 

“That’s pretty,” Kristoff said, motioning to the pillow in her hands.

“Yeah, it’s really cute.”

“Do you want to get it?”

Anna looked at him and cocked an eyebrow.

“For the couch," he clarified.

“I mean, I do, but I don’t know if I have decorating rights in the apartment,” she said with a slight chuckle. She placed the pillow back down, only for Kristoff to pick it back up and hold it close to his chest.

“Sven decorated most of the place. He can stand to have one pillow that we picked out on the couch.”

Anna’s heart swelled. A pillow that they picked out. Together. 

***

“I used to come here all the time when I was little.” Anna’s elbows were perched on the fake counter of one of the many Ikea kitchen displays. She peered at Kristoff from one side of the fake window, his head rested on his hands much like Anna’s was. Kristoff smiled as she spoke, looking at her in a way that radiated warmth. They were on either side of the window, staring at each other through the gap where glass would have been if it was a real kitchen. “There was one near our house, and our mom would take us sometimes on the weekends. My sister and I would run around in the kitchens and play house until our mom finally told us it was time to go. She always got us food on the way out too.”

Kristoff nodded. “That sounds really nice.”

“It was.” 

“Do you miss them?” 

Anna had almost forgotten that she told him that her parents had practically disowned them. “Sometimes, but it’s easy to remind myself that I’m better off without them. And I have Elsa, so I’m okay.”

“I would love to meet her sometime.”

Anna’s heart fluttered at the implication that maybe one day Elsa and Kristoff would meet. Of course she assumed that Elsa would meet her roommates at some point, but the way Kristoff said it made it seem formal- like he would be meeting her in a kind of traditional “boyfriend meets the family” kind of way. Anna quickly shook off the thought before she could let her mind get too carried away. “What about your family? I don’t think I know anything about them.”

“I was adopted when I was 4 by my mom and dad. They’re great,” he started as they resumed their walk through the kitchen section of the Ikea. “My mom is the strongest person I know. And my dad is seriously hilarious. He has all these ridiculous stories from growing up on a farm.”

“They sound incredible,” Anna said with a wistful smile. 

“They are. They would really like you.”

That same feeling bubbled up in her chest- the promise of some sort of future with him and the vision of time spent together as more than just friends. She watched as he walked over to a bed and laid on it, letting out a sigh of contentment. 

“Kristoff,” she hissed. “We’re not supposed to lay on those.”

“No one’s looking,” he countered, patting the spot on the bed next to him. “Come on! It’s really comfy.”

Anna looked at him for a moment, biting her lip and mulling it over in her head. She had always been a stickler for the rules, and the thought of breaking one now, even a small one, made her feel a bit anxious. But the soft twinkle in his eyes and the way he held an arm open in such an inviting way overrode any sort of worry she felt. She climbed up next to him and sunk down into the pillows, careful to leave enough space between the two of them. She turned her head to the side and saw him, all rosy cheeks, brown eyes, and warm smile. She counted the freckles that ran across his nose, ones that she hadn’t noticed before. She could feel his breath tickling her face. They were far enough so that they weren’t touching, but close enough that under any other circumstances, she would’ve expected him to lean in for a kiss, to capture her lips in his and pull her into his chest.

He suddenly bolted upright as if he had been struck by something, his eyes alight with mischief. He grabbed her hand and tugged her off the bed. Anna giggled at the unexpected motion, but followed him along regardless, down the hall and around the corner. She was starting to think that perhaps she would follow him to the edge of the world.

They stopped and Kristoff laughed, taking a moment to catch his breath. “There was one of those Ikea cop people.”

“One of what?” Anna joined him in his laughter.

“You know,” he started, motioning with his hands as if that would help him find the right words. “Those people that work here and walk around to make sure you don’t steal anything or sleep on the beds. I didn’t want to get us in trouble.”

“Oh.” Anna covered her mouth as she giggled. “Well, thanks for saving us then,” she concluded.

Kristoff offered her another smile. It seemed as though he had been smiling a lot more frequently lately. “No problem.”

***

“This is the one,” Anna announced, pointing to a beautiful white dresser with ornate handles on each drawer. 

“I like it,” Kristoff concurred. 

“I think I’m going to paint it and really make it my own, you know? It’ll be a fun project.” 

Kristoff nodded. “I really like that idea.”

“I’m glad.” Anna looked at the large box before her and let out a sigh. “Now for the not so fun part- checking out and getting this thing in the car.”

Kristoff took a step forward and grabbed the box containing the disassembled dresser. He lifted it without hesitation from its slightly elevated position and placed it on the ground by his feet. “Here, can you grab that cart over there?”

Anna didn’t say anything. She always forgot how strong he was. It caught her off guard whenever he reminded her, whether it was by lifting something at home or lifting this Ikea box. Anna was always struck by the defined muscles of his arms and the sturdy width of his shoulders in those moments. She tore her eyes away and ran to go get a cart. 

Kristoff again easily lifted the box onto the wheeled platform and took the lead in guiding it over to the checkout area. 

“So once we finish building this thing are you going to start painting it right away?” Kristoff asked.

Anna’s heart surged. We. He wanted to build it with her. “I’ll probably work on it periodically. It’s nice to have ongoing projects like that. You and Ryder and Sven are welcome to paint stuff on it too if you’d like.”

“Oh god. Don’t tell Sven that. You’ll have a million dicks all over your desk before you know it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Anna replied with a laugh. 

Anna paid for her dresser. She would have paid for the decorative pillow too, but Kristoff had insisted on covering it. He loaded the dresser into his car with relative ease, and they hopped in together, exchanging cheerful glances before starting on their hour-long journey back home. This time the ride was more silent, quiet spaces filled with the soft lull of the radio and the feeling of the wheels against the pavement of the road beneath them. Anna thought about how natural it would feel to reach out and hold his hand. But she kept to herself. She was fine with that. She was just happy to have such a good friend.

***

Kristoff knew he liked Anna. It wasn’t hard to admit that much to himself. He knew he liked her almost too much- enough to want to wake up next to her every morning and make her breakfast in bed and kiss her whenever he got the chance- even sleep with her for God’s sake. He thought he wasn’t ready for a relationship, and yet, here he was. 

It seemed like she was keen on knocking down every wall he had tried to put up, exposing him for a kindhearted, sensitive person. A while ago Kristoff would’ve said that that version of himself was dead, buried long ago with his last relationship. But with her, he was starting to see parts of himself emerge that he assumed were long gone. 

She was there for him even when he let his insecurities get the best of him and turn him into a total asshole. He felt unworthy of her, and yet every time he tried to distance himself, there she was, ready to remind him of what it felt like to show your truest self and let people in.

He glanced over at her sleeping form. She had warned him this would happen. She told him that she always got sleepy on car trips. She said that she might end up falling asleep and if she did for him to please wake her up. But he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Not when she looked so peaceful and so beautiful. Her cheek was smushed up against the glass and he thought he could even see a hint of drool in the corner of her mouth, but she was gorgeous and stunning and she made his heart feel light. 

For the first time, he felt like maybe he had made the wrong decision. Maybe he shouldn’t have said that he needed time to be on his own. Because when he looked at her, suddenly he felt like he didn’t need any time at all. He was ready. There was something about her. Something in the way she made him feel. Free to be himself? Confident? Appreciated? He couldn’t put his finger on it, but it was there, gnawing at him, slowly wearing away at the part of himself that continued to tell him that he was too scared to try again, too scared to open back up when he could just get hurt again. Something told him that she was different, maybe even that she was the one. Maybe he wouldn’t act on it today or tomorrow or this week or the next, but Kristoff knew in his heart that they wouldn’t be just friends for long. 

[diarybutablog]

Yesterday I had an amazing day!

I’m sorry I didn’t post anything since May but I really felt like I didn't had time to post anything and many things happened and I'll try to write the most important things in the other posts and now I'll try to say what happened yesterday.

The day before yesterday my father told me and my brother to got to sleep before midnight so we could wake up early. He wanted to go with us on a trip to Brighton because i wanted a comic from a Graphic Novel Shop that was there near the train station and also go somewhere to eat. Yesterday I woke up at 11 AM and he wanted to go with us on 10 AM… ALRIGHT. He opened our door to our room (i live with my younger brother in the same room in UK) and just said "So we're not going to Brighton?". To which i responded "Hello :>"… I guess he didn't like that because he just closed the doors. I waited in my room scrolling through Reddit on my laptop and seeing the same jokes reused with different images. I saw a meme where someone said the if you add Mr Bean to anything it will automatically become funny. It was so stupid that I felt weird because I wanted to chuckle for a moment when I saw this stupid picture.

Suddenly 12 AM came on a clock and I decided to dress up. After I did that I went and washed my hair. I think I was washing it for really long because I came out of the bathroom an hour later. I decided to go to the main room.

It’s not living room because it’s too small.

My dad was as always on his phone on Facebook when I came out of bathroom and I told him that I am hungry so I made myself two toasts, one with butter and pate, and the second with pepper cream. I ate them and drank some soda. My stomach hurt because I don’t usually drink sodas. Anyways, my dad told me that we could go together without my younger brother because he's asleep, so we did. My dad bought 4 tickets for us. Each one of us had one for return and one for going onward. My dad was telling me to keep the tickets somewhere like my right back pocket so i won't lose it heh. When we were riding we discussed Poland and UK as well. After the gossip about horror and thriller movies we arrived. First we went on an expedition to find the Graphic Novel Shop to buy me a comic book but so we were walking and walking and… we found it.

(Kinda i did it because my dad was totally lost)

I was broke but my dad had some to buy me a gift up to 20 pounds. I was searching around and found some cool comic books like the ones about Scott Pilgrim and based on D&D. Also i saw the 13th volume of a series called Giant Days which chapters are called troubles.

(I don't know why they call them troubles heh)

After searching for a while i noticed the comic section called LGBT and i wanted to check if something interesting was there AND THERE WAS! I really liked She-Ra and the Princesses Of Power and I noticed a book written by it’s creator Noelle Stevenson which is called The Fire Never Goes Out: A Memoir in Pictures.

It’s basically her diary but she adds her doodles and thoughts to it. I highly recommend it to anyone and I think I might do a Twitter thread describing my day but that’s not important now and probably won’t happen. I also saw a little comic book that was about tweets from our lovely Donald J. Trump but ilustrated as satirical pictures.

Basically boomer humor.

I showed it to my dad and he told me kindly that he wasn't interested in buying that for himself or for anyone. After that me and my dad came out of the store and we went to get something to eat for dinner but… my dad wanted to buy a bag and something to put a gift in. We were walking around the stores and he was stopping like every 5 SECONDS to check the next store and see if they sell something to put a gift in. We entered the Pride Shop or something like that and I wanted to buy the mug that was on the exhibition which presented Batman and Superman kissing. Also I was looking at the pride flags and pride pins but I didn’t give any signs about them to my dad because I don’t want him yet to know that I’m trans, or I think I am. When my dad was coming to these shops, I was coming with him to some of them, but if I wasn’t I was just standing outside waiting for for. In one of them there was a Moomins Handbag which I really wanted but my dad told me that he only would buy it if it costed up to 3 pounds but it was worth 8 so I didn’t get it… When I left the Moomins Handbag store I heard and saw two goth kids coming right beside me and I only heard them say that the girl in this conversation had a Moomin faze and collected everything related to Moomins… 

Does that mean that I’ll become a goth kid as well?

We were looking for a place to eat for a couple of minutes and I noticed a place where last year I saw a dude that was playing drums very nicely and it was cool to listen to him. We didn’t stay there for long because we still went to the restaurant to eat something but before we went there a random lady gave FREE COOKIE ICE CREAM to us! While I was walking I held my book without it’s cover because it’s pink and I don’t really wanna go out with pink stuff because I feel like I am showing too much of my secret side with this color. Me and my dad ate these ice creams before we went inside the restaurant but my dad got angry because instead of physical menu to pick up we had to scan the QR code but he was too much NOT FRIENDS WITH TECHNOLOGY that he just came out of the restaurant and I went after him. We were walking and found a pizzeria that we went to last year and ordered two pizzas. Before we got our pizzas we got plates filled with olives, potatoes with onions and cream, eggplant parts and some weird green vegetable.

(Probably a zucchini slices)

Also I got apple juice with 4 ice cubes in it and my dad got one beer like a dad. We were eating our pizzas peacefully and suddenly something amazing happened. A obese young adult lady with red dyed hair FUCKIN’ stole my pizza and tried to run away… and she did, but one of the stuff workers chased her and saw her coming into another pizzeria and… did the same thing, but the whole thing wasn’t only STEALING MY PIECES but also taking someones pizza slice and throwing it at them, scratching one of the stuff ladies arm and when leaving this pizzeria blocking the exit doors and not letting the stuff member that was chasing her leave the restaurant. Instead of being sad because someone took my pizza I started to laugh under my nose quietly so others wouldn’t notice. My dad only saw my smirk and asked me if I feel alright and I said „I think it’s the most entertainment I had in UK so far”. I think I kinda understand why this woman took MY piece of pizza. It was probably because me and my dad sat on the seats next to the exit so it was easier for the crazy lady to take something that was near exit than at the back of the restaurant. One of the stuff members came and told us „I’m sorry but these FUCKING… I mean stupid people will not bother you anymore”. After that she left with the rest of my pizza and gave me a new one FOR FREE! I ate the one piece and we asked the stuff to help us pack the pizza to take it outside so they gave us a pizza box to take with us. My dad before coming out of the store with me asked the Scratched Girl if everything is fine and she said that it’s just a scratch and also asked where were we from, so my dad said „We’re from Poland” and she said „Well… I’m from Russia”. I have no idea what was the rest of their conversation but my dad made a joke that the EASTERN EUROPE was being attacked. If I was good from history I would make a historical joke or a meme now, but I’m not… so not joke for today. Before we left police came to check if everything was ok, but they weren’t stopping us from leaving so we… left. On the way back we were looking at the city of Brighton and right at the train station my dad checked if he had his train ticket and… IT WAS GONE! My dad started to panic but had an idea how to fix this problem. He took his ticket receipt and tried to show it to the woman that was standing next to the ticket receiver. Surprisingly it worked and we waited for our train. When our train came my dad wasn’t sure if it was the right one so he asked me to ask the conductor if we’re in the right one and he said that we were in a right one.

TONGUE TWISTER

When we were heading back to Hastings I decided to start reading Noelle’s book. It was very touching and nice to read. When we arrived to Hastings I was on the 132nd page and I had to close it for a moment and when we came back home I needed to use a toilet and also I used this situation so I could continue reading this amazing book. I finished the entire 194 paged book in a day but everyone probably would do that. After finishing reading it I wanted to tell my friends about my day because I think it was great. After telling some of my friends how was my day I decided to eat my supper and watch with my dad the second episode of Beastars. My dad did like this episode and the whole show. We watched it because we made a small tradition while I am in UK. One day I read one chapter of one of my Warrior Cats books, and the other day we watch a singe episode of Beastars. After all of that I decided to sit and write my day down as a Tumblr Blog post.

Thank you for reading my summery of my day. 08.08 was an amazing day I probably won’t forget because of this post and maybe because I told my friends about this. As I said I'll try to post tomorrow how my other days have been because there’s so much stuff I wanna get off my chest.

[ofravensandgenesis]

Meme Tag Games!

Thank you for all the lovely tags!! :D <3 This is quite belated but between some health happenings, the weather deciding to turn the thermostat way up (and the house AC went out), and other stuff, I got swamped for a while there. Here we are now though! :D Tagging anyone who wants to jump in on any of these, namely FC5 GFH tag game; OC Fighting Style; and WIP Day. Continued below the cut because this got long:

FC5 Guns For Hire Meme Game

Tagged by @chyrstis​ and @amistrio​ for the FC5 GFH meme, thank you for the tag!! :D <3 We have full length responses with some banter with the human GFH in particular here. I was kind of stumped with how to answer this for Joshua in what he might say as a GFH since his verse is very tailored for him being the Deputy and all the psychic shenanigans. Eventually I got over that and this is basically an AU where there’s another (unnamed here) Deputy who IS slated to be The Deputy that Joshua is trying to help (and convince to do less murder) to explain how he fits into a verse as a Gun For Hire. Psychic shenanigans still happen in this AU of an AU ofc, just it’s perhaps less prominent. We’re skipping over possible musings of relevant sidequests for Joshua relating to the Seeds in this for the sake of time, though I acknowledge that it’s something to explore, likely would impact the endgame with the Heralds, cult, and Joseph depending on the Deputy’s choices of doing a Kill or No-kill run. This verse also assumes that Joshua, the Deputy, Whitehorse, Pratt, and Hudson all got away or were not present for the helicopter crash. Other characters minor and otherwise who are alive in Joshua’s main fic verse ACABH are the same as in that story thus far, such as Rae-Rae and Ryan being alive. We’ll also presume the Seeds are all still alive at the time of these dialogue lines.

Deputy Joshua Raguel Rook

(All images used were public domain and/or labeled free for reuse under creative commons license. Above image was sourced from [here.]) With Fangs for Hire

Boomer: “Hey there boy, how’re you feeling today? Got some venison strips saved for you, you eating enough with all this running around?” [cue more small talk and praise for Boomer about how Boomer’s doing such a good job and Joshua feeding Boomer bits of cooked meat. Will likely sing snatches of cheery dog-themed songs he’s heard when in the party with Boomer and there’s no enemies nearby.]

Peaches: “...I hope that’s not people-meat in your teeth, Peaches, you know how Miss Mable feels about that, it’s bad for your health. I’m also not quite brave enough to want to brush your teeth—though maybe Dr. Lindsey or Wade can offer advice on that. We’ll get you some nice fish instead, that’s a good kitty.” [He’s a bit more shy around Peaches than Boomer bc cougar, but an effort at friendliness will be made.]

Cheeseburger: “...that is one big bear. He’s a sweetheart though. Just...hoping he doesn’t make a mistake of who he’s barreling into. It’s not like we’re wearing team colors or anything.” [Cheeseburger is a sweetie and Joshua likes him, but also: bear. Joshua’s a bit wary around him, but will still feed Cheeseburger salmon when able. May crack a joke paralleling Cheeseburger going “Only You Can Prevent Cult Gun Fire.” Will not crack this joke after any Jacob-region events though.]

With Other Guns for Hire:

Sharky

Sharky: So amibro, I was thinking, you know how those Angels are all dead in the head and stuff? How are they still shuffling around, is the Bliss like a zombie plant or something? Joshua: ...no, that’s more in line with the aliens that Larry keeps going on about I’m sure. Something about brainmelting and bendy straws, I got lost when he started mentioning Navier-Stokes equations for how the...resulting brain juice would be redirected. [Shuddery noise of disgust.] I’m not sure if he’s serious or just fucking with me and referencing Guy’s zombie movie series at this point. Could be either or. The Bliss is more like...like...uh. Like if you lost the keys to your car, but the car’s your body. You get me? Sharky: Damn, remind me never to OD on the stuff, I lose the keys to my car all the time. Sometimes I can’t be bothered to find em and just jiggle the lock so I can hop on in to hotwire the car because I’m in a hurry, you know? Ladies love a man who’s good with his hands, and who’s good with time and can improvise. You think that’d work on the Bliss car keys? Joshua: Maybe? Not everyone seems to be as readily lost to the Bliss at the same amounts. Personally I’d wager you’d be able to find your way back to your body no matter where you were in the bliss if we stood you near a signal fire. Sharky: This is why we’re friends man! Ride or die! ...also can you help me find my keys with that trick of yours, I lost ‘em again. Joshua: Yeah, though did you check under your bed? Also, maybe hang your regular set and a spare set of keys on a hook by the door so you can always find them, just in case you’re in a hurry.

Hurk

Joshua: Hurk. [Said in a Mild, Judgmental Voice of Impending Doom From A Friend kind of tone.] Hurk: Hey man I didn’t do nothin’ to deserve that tone of voice now don’t you start on me. Joshua: How can you say that when you and Sharky went and invented zipline grenade-golf without me last night? And blew up part of the mini-YES-sign. Hurk: Oh man you were talking up Lindsey and with the way the two of you were smiling and laughing, we figured you might be getting lucky so like the proper supportive wingmen me and Sharky were, we left you gentlemen some of our finest booze and sticky green. You did find it didn’t you, I’d hate to waste the gifts of the beneficent Monkey God from above as He Who Likes To Par-tay Above And Here Below On This Earth did command me never to waste beer or the good kush and to always help a brother out who’s trying to hook it up with their fine persons of choice. Joshua: Hurk I’m not— [sighs in accepting and fond exasperation.] It’s not like that with me and Charles— Hurk: Ooooooooooooo, you’re on a first name basis already! I knew you had it in you! Get it man, get it good! I’m not into that, you know I like the ladies strictly, but I will support your endeavors no matter the sex of your fellow party-goer as leader of Hurk Gate and the Bro-iest of Bros. Joshua: Hurk oh my god, I’m not trying to sleep with or romance him. I’m—he’s not looking for that, at least not with me certainly, and I—...just, thanks. I still have most of the beer and weed leftover if you and Sharky are up for graffiting one of John’s billboard signs though. You in? Hurk: Hell yeah man, and oo, you did get some then, Josh you sly dog! Joshua: I DID NOT! [Meta-clarification: Joshua indeed did not, for reasons to be revealed at a later time in the main fic.]

Sharky, Hurk, and Joshua, if one bends the mechanics so they are all in the party together at the same time:

Sharky: Pfhahahahaha oh man did you see the look on those Peggies’s faces when we came just crashing down the mountainside in that burning car? It was priceless!

Joshua: What better way to set fire to mass amounts of Bliss fields than with a moving fireball? Sharky: I know man it was great! We didn’t get too singed or nothin’! We gotta try that burning trash-ball idea next time though, like building a snowman but with fire! A fireman! Ha! That was the easiest fifty bucks of my life, cuz. Joshua: Hold up a tick now, what. Hurk: Sharky man that’s against the betting code! You’re not supposed to tell! Joshua: Oh, you cheeky bastards were betting on if Sharky could convince me to drive the car down the hill, weren’t you. Hurk: Man it’s always a crap shoot with you, specially around cars. That’s what makes it fun, sometimes you get all “guys that’s not safe,” [said with a poor imitation of Joshua’s voice complete with a very terrible southern, Georgian-style accent before Hurk switches to his normal speaking voice to continue,] —and other times it’s just “hold my beer.” You’re not going to go all prim and proper on us now are ya? Joshua: I can’t believe you two. Gambling in Hope County, I’m shocked, shocked. Sharky you owe me half, I’ll buy you a beer first round. Sharky: Hell yeah man! Hurk: Wait a second did you two just con me? I’ve been robbed! Police! Joshua: Hurk I *am* the police, one of them present at least. Hurk: Oh shit son, you right. Help I’m being oppressed by the system!

Nick Rye

[This conversation happens after Seed Ranch has been taken, along with the AU detail of capturing John’s plane Affirmation at the same time, preferably early on, while John is still alive.] Nick: Hey Joshua I was talking to Sharky— Joshua: Oh no. Nick: And he had an idea that wasn’t half bad. Not a good one, and you’d be liable to get killed or captured, but I got stuck thinking on it and wanted to ask: What d’you think would happen if you dressed up like the Father and just pulled a whole Mission: Impossible face-a-roo switch? You can do that imitation of how he speaks and everything, I’ve heard you do it before. And with how high the Peggies are most of the time, they’re so far out of their gourds they wouldn’t notice the differences. Joshua: You mean aside from his brothers and sister noticing he’s suddenly an inch shorter, twenty years younger and the wrong brand of crazy? Nick: Just go off about there being an edit to God’s Plan or something, and you could get makeup or something going on with that age thing. People do all kinds of wizardry with foundation and stuff, though you’d have to ask someone else on that. Maybe Addie or someone she knows? I don’t know if they have aging-up tricks compared to aging-down though. It could work! Might be a quick way to end the fighting if we can just stuff Joseph into a car trunk and then stash him in a bunker somewhere while you’re pretending you’re him. Joshua: Nick my tattoos are different and I’m not going to convince people I’m Joseph if I have to do one of his shirtless walkarounds, NOR am I having sins and Bible verses carved into my hide to complete the look. I don’t think we have any special effects or make up artists in the county who specialize in convincingly fake scars made out of latex or something. Nick: I don’t know, that Guy Marvel might have someone. Or, had someone. He has to be able to afford all those special effects somehow. Joshua: I’m not going anywhere near that guy with a ten foot pole man, he weirds me out. Also consider: I’d have to talk to Jacob, John and Faith as Joseph. I don’t want that kind of responsibility of herding that conversation at the family dinner. Nick: Hoo, good point. So...how is that family bullshit coming along then? Joshua: I have no idea, I’m just winging it, like you are. Nick: [who’s currently flying a plane, thus the slight pun] Heh. Good luck with that then, and let me know if you want me to paint something special on John’s precious little Affirmation next time you take it out for a spin to spite him. Joshua: I’m sure I can think of a thing or two.

Adelaide

Adelaide: Honey you need to take a breather one of these days and just take a load off, if you keep up the way you’re going you’re going to end up looking more like your dad sooner rather than later. You should swing by the Marina sometime and have a yoga session with Xander, really helps get the blood pumping and limber you up if you know what I’m saying. Joshua: [Snorts in amusement.] Is Xander trying to convince you to eat more kale chips instead of potato chips again? Adelaide: Rook sweetie, I love Xander but there are some things a woman won’t put in her mouth, and kale chips are one of them. Joshua: I’ll swing by sometime to help out with the kale chips then, and maybe get in a yoga session at the same time. It’s been a while since I chatted Xander up what with the county going pearshaped. Adelaide: I’ll never understand how you two can eat those things. Ugh. Gives me the willies. Joshua: *I* eat them dipped in homemade spicy nacho cheese sauce. I have no idea how Xander eats them straight and still claims to have working tastebuds.

Grace

[For context: This conversation is based on the AU’s detail that Grace’s father has survived the previous attempt on his life prior to the start of the Reaping.]

Joshua: Did you crack open the extra care packages we dropped off yet Grace, or did your dad get to ‘em first? Grace: You referring to the chocolate bars you stashed in there? I got my share of them out in time. Joshua: Good, I was a little worried when you told me they were missing last time. Thought they might’ve been lifted without me knowing beforehand. Grace: He’s a sly one when sweets are up for grabs. Now if you can do something about the shortage of decent coffee… Joshua: What’s that? A reason to piss John off today and raid his personal stash? Say no more!

Jess

Jess: So. Joshua: So. Jess: Just like old times but with more fucked up cultist family bullshit than before, huh. Joshua: [Sighs.] Yeah. Jess: That’s rough, buddy. Joshua: Least I can steal shit en masse from the cultists and no one else minds right now. For the life of me though I can’t figure out where all of the snacks from Lorna’s went when the Peggies hit her place. I think they ate ‘em all. Jess: [Noise of disgust.] Those two-faced fuckers going on and on about how bad commercially produced food is and how everyone should get back to basics, but there they go snatching up all the frosted cakes and maple bars like it's baby’s first shoplifting spree. Joshua: I know right? Even if they do believe the end of the world’s coming, that’s still rude to clean the store out on the first go around—leave some snacks for the next bunch of looters, god damn.

In Combat

[Note: due to Joshua’s verse details, this comes with the assumption that were one to play in a version of his universe, the Deputy would have a kill/spare mechanic and thus also an option of doing a No Kill run and variations on that spectrum, which Joshua’s mechanics would support more so. This would likely also mean some additional options for the other guns-for-hire and creative use of their canonical loadouts and abilities. Joshua’s setup would overlap with Boomer and Jess’s via the Spotter and Concealment abilities, and he’d be equipped with a bliss dart gun and a scoped hunting rifle. Also melee options and such.] Seeing/tagging an enemy: “Hey look, another whack-a-mole.” / ”Fashionably challenged mountain-man zealot sighted.” / “Enemy sighted.” Seeing/tagging multiple enemies at once: “duck, duck, cultists.”/ “The Rapture called, they don’t want these Peggies back.” / “multiple hostiles in the area.” Bliss darting/knocking out a Peggie at range: “Nap time.” / “Another one bites the dust.” / “Down they go!” / “A little dirt nap never hurt any Peggie. Won’t hurt their outfits any either, a little dirt brown looks better than all of that mayonnaise-white so many of them wear anyway.” Knocking out a Peggie with a non-lethal stealth takedown: “Lights out.” / “Rang this one’s chimes hard enough he’ll think it’s time for morning service on a sunday when he wakes up.” / “Sleep tight.” / “She’s/he’s down.” Sneaking: “Feels like a tuesday.”  / “...” / “Five bucks says I can pickpocket the guards and they’d never even know till later.” / “Moving position.” / “Good to go.” Upon witnessing the Deputy killing an enemy: “Was that really necessary?!” / “...shit.” / “Maybe we should disengage and drop back out of sight instead of this.” / “What the fuck!” Reviving an ally/The Deputy: “Don’t you go dying on me! Stay alive, you’ve got so much to live for!” / “Come on, let’s get you patched up, you’re gonna be okay!” / “No no no! Don’t you dare die! Not today!” Hurt: “MOTHERFUCKER!” / “Ow!” / “God damn it, I just patched this shirt! And myself!” / “This is NOT my fucking element, fuck!” / “Why are we even in a situation where we’d get shot at?!” Downed: “Could use a little help over here!” / “Bleeding out, help!” / “...mom?”

Driving

When asked to drive: “...you sure? I really think someone else driving would be a better idea under current circumstances, but okay. Just don’t go making a habit out of this. Please. For everyone’s sake.” / “No.” [This is followed by outright refusal to sit in the driver’s seat.] / [Optionally if Sharky and/or Hurk are around] “Ugh. Just...gotta pretend this is driving through a Clutch Nixon. With live gun fire, instead of just fire-fire.”

When the Deputy/someone else is driving recklessly: “Iwantoffthisride” / “I’m going to have to pick upholstery out from under my nails later.” / “JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL.” / [Recites a Hail Mary.] / “Having a good time! NOT.” / [If it’s Sharky or Hurk driving] “This is the kind of reckless driving I can get behind. Through regular past exposure therapy.” Changing radio stations: [If it’s being changed to Eden’s Gate stations] “Can we not? I’ve heard this music so many times it’s old as hell, however catchy.” / “They did do a good job on the music, I gotta say. More ominous meaning to the lyrics right now in particular though.” / [If it’s being changed to Resistance Radio stations] “Road trip time! Watch out for moose in the road.” / “Hell yeah, crank those tunes!” / “I’m glad we have regular music to listen to still, it’d be such a drag to have to go without it.”

Idle

- [General] “What’s up? Everything going alright with you?” - [General] “I heard of a good fishing spot where the rainbow trout [or other game fish depending on situation/mechanics] are really biting today if you want to take a breather and just do a bit of fishing.” [this dialogue only triggers if the Deputy hasn’t filled out the map yet for fishing spots, and adds one to the map with a notification.] - [General] “Hey, there’s a prepper stash over yonder, if you want to try your hand at getting at it. [This dialogue only triggers at random if the Deputy hasn’t polished off all the nearby Prepper stashes already. Marks a nearby prepper stash on the map and gives a notification.]

- [General] “You know what surprises me? That the Project didn’t try to shut off the power plant to at least portions of the county. Sure lots of people are preppers or woodsmen and such, but electricity makes everything easier for us. Weird, ain’t it? They have the technicians for it I’m sure. Guess we should thank our lucky stars they either didn’t think of that or decided it wasn’t worth it. We’d be straight out of ice cold beer then, Whitehorse would hate that.” - [If the Deputy is taking the no-kill route] “Hey I just want to say...I appreciate you trying not to kill people, even if some of these cultists are absolute motherfuckers who deserve it. We might be able to stop all their prophecy crap dead in its tracks if you keep this up. And...you know. Thanks for not killing my crazy relatives? I think. They’ve done a lot of bad shit and they need to answer for that, but...the right way, not backwoods murder. We’re better than that, I hope.” - [If the Deputy is taking the killing route] “I get wanting to kill the Seeds and the cult...but this isn’t going to end well, even after we’re done. I wish you wouldn’t, but I can’t stop you if this is the choice you’ve made. ...I’m sorry I can’t be of more help to you. I...hope you’ll be alright, in the end. But I don’t think you will be.” [Recall that Joshua Knows What Will Happen To The Deputy if they take the canonically-based killing route. He leaves before the final confrontation, and curiously Whitehorse, Pratt, and Hudson don’t show up in the final scene either—ie, whichever route the Deputy chooses, they survive elsewhere (coughcough Joshua’s secret bunker cough.) The scene with Joseph still happens more or less the same, only the Deputy leaves alone if they choose Walk Away, and ends up alone with Joseph if they choose Resist. Also interestingly enough: Dutch isn’t present on the radio, nor in his bunker. His fish have been taken too. Joshua didn’t have the time to grab everyone, so he tried to grab the ones he knew for sure would die, and warned the others that he foresaw not surviving the Collapse or aftermath, like Mary May and Jess Black, or who suffered serious injuries like Grace. His buds Sharky and Hurk he bribes with beer and weed to hide out in their bunker or hang out in his while this goes down. Boomer, Cheeseburger, and Peaches are all herded to safety (yes there are mechanics for that in the standard AU verse, we shan’t delve into them here though bc spoilers tho.) The others he tries to warn, but whether he managed to get to them and some of the other latter people mentioned above in time or not is uncertain.] - [If the Deputy switched from a killing route to a no-kill route and all of the Seeds are still alive, Joshua sounds relieved] “Hey, I know it’s...it’s hard to hold off pulling the trigger when someone who’s hurt so many people is in your gunsights, but...I do think bringing them in for actual processing through the legal system—a proper trial without bullshit—is the better way. For all of us. Thank you.” - [If the Deputy switched from a no-kill route to a killing route, sounds slightly devastated] “...Why?” - [If the Deputy is doing a “neutral” run of killing significant numbers of cultists, but is sparing the Seeds as they go] “...I appreciate you not killing the murdery head-cult-family members, but…you think we could maybe lighten up on killing the rank and file? They don’t have the big names and they aren’t the leaders, but those are still people. They are responsible for their own actions, not saying they aren’t, but many of them are redeemable. Not all of them, but...maybe we can just lay them out in the infirmary for a good long while instead? Nothing permanent. The bad ones though can fall off a cliff.”

- [If the Deputy is doing a “selective killing” run of not killing rank and file cultists, but is in the process of killing all the Seed Heralds. Joshua sounds conflicted.] “I appreciate you not killing the followers, though some of them are definitely bastards who shouldn’t be allowed to walk free for the shit they’ve done, but...you think we could...maybe not kill the Seeds either? The Seeds are the primary responsible parties, not contesting that, but maybe we can just kick their asses and arrest them instead? It might help dampen the chaos somewhat, maybe we can use ‘em for leverage. We certainly could hide them somewhere secure that the Peggies wouldn’t be able to find ‘em. It’d be easier to talk Joseph down too, using his siblings as leverage.” [See above for killing route ending details.] Also? We’re driving in separate cars. Don’t turn on the radio, stay away from the others. You’re still brainwashed, and dangerous.” [Joshua is disappointed in the Deputy for not having stuck to some manner of universal moral principle.] - [If friendly, and the Deputy is on either a no-kill playthrough or has switched to a no-kill route,] “Hey, you wanna play a game of checkers, or chess? Take five for a bit, if you got the time?” - [If friendly, and the Deputy is on either a no-kill playthrough or has switched to a no-kill route,] “Hey, not to be mushy or anything, but...thank you. For being you. It’s inspiring to see someone’s able to take the higher path when everything’s falling to pieces all around us. Makes me have a little bit more faith in humanity, too.” - [If friendly, and the Deputy is on either a no-kill playthrough or has switched to a no-kill route, and has been on said no-kill route for a decent amount of time,] “Hey, we grabbed some really good produce this time around and sent it on over to Casey. Told him I’d tell you to swing by, and asked him to save some for you in case you were interested. They’ve got some fresh beef for burgers and sandwiches, pumpkin pie, apple pie, loaded baked potatoes, and all kinds of other tasty stuff for a cookout. The Ryes are coming round to help pitch in and organize it all as a little morale boost party. Wanna come? You deserve to put up your feet and relax, and I’m sure I’m not the only one who’d appreciate your company if you felt like joining in. If you’d rather not, I can sneak food to you if you want quiet time to yourself. It’s all good, just tell me what you want and where you want it.”

Location Specific:

- Near where the police station was, if it’s been burned down: [Sighs.] “While I’m not missing the paperwork that got torched, there was a nice feel of history to the old place. Wish they hadn’t burned it down, fuckers. But, well...the Project and the Seeds have good reason to have no love for police and authority figures among others, even before all this horribleness and the leadup stuff came down. So I can’t say I’m surprised they did.”

- Upon entering the Spread Eagle, if friendly: “Finally, a place where everybody knows our names instead of yelling “Deputies!” at us all day! Wanna hit up the arcade? I’ll buy the first round if you get the higher score.”

- Seed Ranch, outside if it hasn’t been liberated, inside if it has been liberated: “Never going to understand why some folks want real airy houses with so much dead space as their main living quarters. Feels more like a knickknack museum you’re supposed to look at, not a home you’re supposed to live in. He’s got all this Eden’s Gate paraphernalia in those glass display cases, and I don’t doubt John’s fervent in his beliefs, but it feels more like a rich boy’s hunting and vacation lodge cobbled together with a vague idea of home. You saw the doghouse out back, right? What’s the point of having a dog live outside if you’ve got ALL this space, it’s all finished wood floors, and you’ve made sure to train ‘em and raise ‘em properly so they know not to chew on the furniture? It’s lonely, that’s what this is. Joseph chides John and all that about learning to love, but it’s a case of the blind leading the blind there.” - Outside St. Francis Veterans Center: [Before the Veterans Center is liberated, if Jacob has captured the Deputy at least once, so the song “Only You” is played around the Center, and the melody starts to be audible in the distance as the group approaches.] “Yeah hey, I’m going to go the other way now and wait for you over here where I can’t hear the song of madness, ‘kay? Maybe you should avoid it too.” [This is followed by Joshua refusing to go too close to the Center, sans possible AU story missions.] - Anywhere near Joseph’s Island: [The first time the party gets near Joseph’s Island,] “Uh. No. I’m not going near that place twice any sooner than we need to.” [Watch Joshua be willing to jump out even into deep water and swim away if the Deputy tries to approach the island with him in tow on a boat.]

OC Fighting Style

Tagged by @chyrstis​ !! Thank you for the tag!! :D <3 This was another fun one to fill out (and shorter than the above but you know what we’re stapling all of these bad boys into one post bc Why Not.) Have an aesthetic picture of a Jacob sheep skull upon a sheep skin for the fun implications of what that says about Joshua’s fighting style. xD Ram skull image after some searching was sourced from [here], with a creative commons license for free-to-reuse, with some limitations.

Rules: bold = often (or always), italics = sometimes, default = rarely, strike = never

fight honorably / fight dirty / prefer close-quarters / prefer range / chat during / go silent / low pain tolerance / high pain tolerance / attack in bursts / attack steadily / go for the kill / aim to disarm / fight defensively / bait an opponent’s first strike / strike first / provoked easily / provoke their opponent / tease / get visibly frustrated / shout while attacking / use strategy / focus on their battle / experience conflicting thoughts during battle / rush in recklessly / try to read their opponent before fighting / fight wildly / fight calmly, apathetically / fight with anger / fight with excitement / fight because they have to / fight because they want to / fight without regard to wounds / run away when wounded / hide wounds / take a blow to protect another / prefer a blade / prefer a gun (non lethal rounds/tranquilizer darts) / prefer a bow / prefer a shield /  prefer a spear naginata / prefer a personalized weapon / prefer psychic abilities / prefer brawling / their greatest weakness is physical / their greatest weakness is mental / their greatest weakness is emotional / transform for battle / fight as they appear / rely on strength / rely on speed / use everything they have / hide their full potential / exhaust quickly /  high stamina / doubt their strength / proceed with caution / behave arrogantly / brag after landing a hit / belittle their abilities / use psychological tactics / use brute strength / avoid civilians / strike down civilians / damage surroundings / avoid damaging surroundings / signature fighting style / making it up as they go / mastered skillset / learning their skillset / fancy footwork / sloppy footwork / messy fighter / elegant fighter / accept defeat / refuse defeat / beg for mercy / compliment their opponent / insult their opponent / use unnecessary movements / move efficiently / barely move / prefer to dodge / prefer to block / defend their blindside / has no blindside / use all available advantages / strictly use one main method / play around / hold back / fight ruthlessly / show mercy / wait for opponent to be ready / strike when opponent isn’t ready / fear death  / fear pain / fear killing / has PTSD / avoid fighting / has lost a fight / has won a fight / has killed / refuses to kill / want to die standing / would succumb slowly

WIP Day

Tagged by @chyrstis and @hawkfurze !! Thank you for the tags!! :D <3

An excerpt from the current WIP chapter for ACABH: ————————— Weak. He was so weak, barely able to move right now, and he didn’t even know why. There was pain, a lot of pain, a feeling like his bones were on fire and about to crumble under pressure at any moment—but he’d been through worse. In this instance, he could recall that he’d fallen through the sky for a brief tumultuous time before gravity had stepped in, leading to him landing hard upon the road, as if making up for the lack of physics earlier. —————————

[thesespicynugsbackforahotminute]

This is a long ass rant. Jon Arbuckle the fuck up.

The amount of boomers defending themselves against the “Ok boomer,” meme is just as hilarious as the meme itself.

There are suddenly a ton of articles about how boomers and younger generations should “cooperate,” and “work together,” when the meme was started because of boomers’ reputation of dismissing younger people and their views solely because of their age, and their generally negative responses to innovation and change.

“Ageism,” (which I didn’t know we were using un-ironically until now) has always been a problem, especially for millennials and Gen Z, but it’s weird to me how we’re only acknowledging it when it’s being turned back at the people who perpetuated it in the first place.

The idea that cooperation should transcend generations is cool, but fantastical. Older people will always have a sense of superiority over younger ones, and we’re already seeing again with Millenials and Gen Z, and how kids these days have a “stupid sense of humor.” It’s even happening again within Gen Z.

It’s really similar to American high school in the sense that everyone (exaggeration) hates the freshman class. Even I, as a freshman, can attest to this. It’s really annoying when you’re the victim, but I’d be lying if I said I liked the class below me. We all know it’s a bit toxic, but nobody really wants to change it either. After all, we always want to make our successors go through the same things we did, otherwise they “have it easy.” It’s a stupid, but overall harmless cycle.

Overall, it’s a stupid argument over a stupid meme. It’s one we need to have, however this is not the way it needs to be started. I will continue to use the “Ok boomer,” meme as I please, and there’s nothing that will convince me otherwise.

And, as a final message:

[madisonscott]

About a year ago, I was talking to a young woman who was in her final year of university. She told me where she was taking classes, and I realized that I went to the same university as her. She mentioned that she was going to go to teacher’s college after she graduated, and we started talking about a few other things as well. I graduated many years ago, and I mentioned to her that a lot of the technology has advanced a lot since I went to school. I said a lot of people in my generation had been a part of the movement to advance technology, Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos. Her response to me was, “Okay, Boomer,”

Then she went on to say that it was her generation that had mastered this technology.

A nice conversation that suddenly turned into a bizarre exchange of one-upmanship. 

What happened?

To this day I am still baffled by this.

I don’t know when it happened, but did Generation Z become outright combative about what their generation has accomplished? Or was this just a one-off type of situation?

Are all other generations no longer allowed to bring up the milestones that they have achieved?

Has anyone else felt the wrath of outright disrespect when bringing up the inventions and accomplishments of their own generation?

There are things that Boomers have accomplished that I’ve benefited from, and I’m grateful to them for those accomplishments. No more polio, smallpox, measles, mumps, rubella or whooping cough, for example. Most of Gen X has never even heard of infantile paralysis and that’s something to thank the Boomers for.  

Plus, mobile phones!!! Boomers gave us mobile phones.

Everyone carries around their own phone now, and that’s all due to the Boomers.

Thank a Boomer today! Make a meme about how much you love creating memes and sharing them on your mobile phone!

Collectively we are better. It shouldn’t matter our age or what generations we were born into. Together we should all be trying to move the world forward and make things better for all.

[dowagerintraining]

Asking For Help

Hello everyone

I have posted this on facebook, but I am hoping that some of the people on Tumblr, even though we have never met, might have a little sympathy for my story, and may be willing to help me out. If you can’t, or don’t want to, I don’t blame you. After all, for all that I write #Banna fanfic and share silly memes and cat pictures, I am just a random bunch of pixels on the internet to most of you. Some of you know me from Tumblr, a handful of you know me in real life, and many of you known me from fanfiction.net, where I write under the same username. Some of you don’t know me at all. I am at my wits end right now. And frankly willing to try anything. Anything at all. So here’s the story. My husband and I have been trying to move to New Zealand for the past two years. I have an interview for a job there tomorrow, to start at the end of January. It might all be about to come together. And in those few moments, it all might be about to fall apart financially. I don’t know how to make this work any more, for him, for me, and for our beloved fur babies, our beautiful cats. I need to ask for help, and so this is what I’m doing. Here is the link to the GoFundMe that I have set up. But if you want the details, you can also access them under the cut.

https://www.gofundme.com/help-the-halls-get-to-new-zealand

I’m not truly believing that I am doing this. But I guess that nobody who starts a ‘GoFundMe’ ever imagines themselves in this position. It’s 1 o’clock in the morning and I can’t sleep, and can’t get my brain to switch off and wind down because I can’t see a way through this right now. So hello everyone. I am asking for your help. Many of you may already be aware that we, my husband Spike and I, have been investigating moving to New Zealand. We’ve been pursuing this for many reasons. We’ve been looking into this for two years now and this is absolutely the right thing for us to do, to secure our future prosperity, to guarantee our own going health and well-being and to give us the life that we need in order to be healthy and happy people.

 And I need to ask for your help towards making this happen.

 This is not a honeymoon. It’s not a wild dream holiday, trekking through beautiful middle earth wilderness. It is not the trip of a lifetime. It is a solid, well researched and absolutely necessary change to our lives.

 1) we need a clean break from the UK, to leave our old lives behind and build a future. We both have so much baggage and we know that this is our best hope to make a firm and final break and get on with building our lives. My husband Spike has worked hard to overcome a rocky start in life. Those of you who know us personally know that he has fought a brave battle against mental health problems, and with support and encouragement he can defeat this and life a healthy and wonderful life. However, living here in the UK is like living in a personal haunted house, full of many of the worst memories and fears, and we need to move away in order for him to gain his emotional and mental freedom.

 2) the brexit process and changes to FE funding means that funding for my job (English and Maths in adult education) may not be so plentiful or readily available as it has been before and I need to make sure I can work in a career to support my family. I have already had to change jobs every 1-2 years as companies can lose funding and go bust, or hand back contracts, with very little notice. Job stability does not exist in my sector, and after 7+ years of this, I am exhausted and not sure how much more I can take.

 3) the education system in NZ is an excellent match for me. I didn’t choose NZ because LOTR was pretty, I chose it because I read their national curriculum and fell in love. I realised I had been teaching on the wrong side of the world. This isn’t speculation, I know this. I have already completed my NZ teaching course. I excelled at it. My professor told me that so far in my career I had been ‘a fish in the wrong ocean’ and I needed to ‘get out to NZ and start working there as soon as possible.’ I had a brilliant experience working at a NZ high school, far better than any other place/sector I have worked in while in the UK. I passed my course with flying colours, scoring ‘Highly Developed’ in two categories of criteria and ‘Well Developed’ in the third. This is where I am supposed to be.

 4) NZ is an excellent match for us. A better work life balance, good future prospects, a healthcare system that works for our needs, and education system that works for my career.

 Many of you knew this already, but it never hurts to write it down. And now I am going to ask for your help.

 So why are you asking for help now? What’s changed?

 Well, in short, I’m starting to get offered interviews for positions in New Zealand, and suddenly the clock is ticking awfully loudly.

 I have one coming up tomorrow, and the chances of me being offered the job are looking EXTREMELY promising. There are another three schools who have asked for my references and been in touch about potential interviews. After two long years of trying, these people want me to go and work for them. The schools are looking for someone to start in late January 2018.

 All of the hard work so far has paid off, and it has been a long two year slog. This stuff is long and complicated and costs so far have included:

 1)   Applying for passports for both of us (£145)

2)   Applying for two different police certificates (approx. £100)

3)    Assessing all of my qualifications to have them accepted by New Zealand’s Education Council (£370)

4)   Enrolling on and completing the TERP (Teacher Education Refresher Programme). This included fees of £2000, Flights to NZ of £1200, living expenses for the month, including £400 rent, £400 food and £200 travel costs. I also had to cover our rent at home and Spike’s living costs for the month, which were the same again. All in all, completing the TERP has cost me more than £5500.

5)   Applying for my registration as a teacher with the education council. (£150)

 Due to the strict rules on exporting animals, we’ve had to start planning for Boomer and Athena to come with us months in advance. This has included Rabies vaccinations (£100) and blood tests to confirm the success of the vaccinations (£220).

 This process, so far, has cost over £6000, and we are barely half way there.

 Talk about what the support will mean to you

 Sitting down tonight, knowing that I have an interview tomorrow, I am suddenly faced with the true facts of how much money we need to find in the next three months and I don’t know where we’re going to get it.

 We had hoped that we were going to get some help financially relocating. But this support is not available to non-Kiwis.

 I had been pursuing a legal case against an irresponsible lender, but after six months I have still not heard whether my case is going to be fully investigated, and even if it is, the outcome could take months more. One by one our avenues of income are closing off, and just as things are looking likely, my hopes for ways to pay for them are looking close to non-existent.

 I am already working as hard as I can. I work full time, in a demanding job. I run my own tutoring business, offering private maths and English tuition. I have, at the moment, 13 clients on top of my full time job. I teach, on average, two people per day for intensive 1-to-1 support, on top of working full time, and three people have sessions with me each day on weekends, sometimes for two hours each. I don’t have days off unless someone cancels an appointment. I used all of my paid annual leave to go to New Zealand and work full time for my placement. On top of that, I took on a third job this year marking 720 GCSE examination scripts over the summer. At peak season, I worked from 7am until 10pm Monday to Friday, and 9am to 10pm Saturday and 9am to 6pm on Sunday. I felt guilty for taking Sunday night off, but I needed some time in the week to do my university coursework.

 I wish that was an exaggeration. It is not.

 I cannot physically squeeze any more pennies out of my time. Everything I have that is worth something, that I can physically bear to part with, has been sold. The car will be sold to cover the remaining finance owing on it before we go. We are in rented accommodation. Our furniture and fittings are second hand and falling apart, but will have to make the trip with us. We don’t have any more assets that can be liquidised.

 Your support will mean that we can do this, that I can stop working myself into a state for hours at a time, unable to sleep in the small hours of the morning, on a hair trigger temper every time someone reminds me what all this is going to cost, frightened that this dream, this chance of a healthy and happy life, is going to slip through our hands and leave us stranded because I cannot make the numbers add up.

 Describe who will benefit

 In short … we will. Me, my husband Spike, and our two beloved cats.

 Not only will this make our dream come true, it will:

 ·        Offer my husband a genuine chance to overcome his past and secure his health for the future

 ·        Keep our family together, preventing us from having to surrender the cats to a lifetime of rescue centre care. Athena is a three legged cat with complex future needs, Boomer is a black cat, and they are a bonded pair. Their chances of being adopted are statistically extremely low. And even leaving that aside, they are our family, and we cannot leave them behind. They belong with us.

 ·        Allow me to make the move with my physical and mental health intact without driving myself down and through exhaustion and a possible physical breakdown, before arriving and going straight into the equivalent of an NQT year.

 Detail what the funds will be used for

 At present, this is the breakdown of what we need.

 As soon as possible, we need to get our immigration medicals done. These are likely to be complicated and referred to New Zealand for second opinion, as Spike has both physical (diabetes) and mental (PTSD) health issues. I also have physical (asthma) and mental (anxiety) health histories which will need to be referred. The longer this takes, the tighter the deadlines get, and we are now up against a ticking clock.

They cost up to £400 each and can only be done by a specified list of consultants, in a limited number of locations. We need to raise £800 for this as soon as possible

 Assuming that I can get an essential skills VISA, this will cost me approximately £200 to apply for. This also needs to be started the day I get a job offer, or as soon as possible after that.

 We have received a quote for how much it will cost for us to take Boomer and Athena to New Zealand. The quote is £1700, via one of the very few companies who work with New Zealand’s department for dealing with importing live animals. On top of that, they both need to be in quarantine in Auckland, which needs to be booked and paid for before they can be booked on a flight out. We are looking at costs of up to £2000 to take our furry family members with us, not including going back to Auckland to collect them and transport them to wherever we end up.

 Then there’s our own stuff. This is going to have to be (in the case of our outdoor gear) professionally cleaned (to meet rules on contamination prevention regarding organic matter), packed and shipped, and then transported by road to wherever we end up. Including insurance, cleaning and the packing/shipping/delivery, this is going to cost in the region of £2000.

 Then, there are our flights. Current prices are looking at around £700 per one way ticket, and we are going to need two. This will enable us to fly economy to New Zealand, to one of the major airports, from Heathrow. For this, we need to budget approx. £1500 (which will include insurance for us both for the journey). We won’t be flying business or better – that would more than double the cost.

 Finally, there’s the small matter of what we do when we get there. We need somewhere to live. You KNOW how expensive it is moving to a new house in this country. It’s the same abroad. You need agency fees, 2 weeks rent in advance and four weeks bond. Assuming we can get a place that is comparable in cost to where we currently live, we need to find £800 to pay up front, in advance, to secure somewhere for us to live, before our stuff arrives and before we go to collect our furry family members from quarantine. Our options are already reduced, as not everywhere allows pets, and we have effectively ruled ourselves out of shared accommodation with that clause. And so beggers might not be able to be choosers. We will have to take what we can get and not haggle.

  This does not even cover some of the costs we will need to address once there. Such as getting a car, travelling from the airport to wherever we end up, finding a hotel room to sleep in when we land after a 30+ hour journey. I am hopeful that we can raise funds to cover that. We should be able to get (some of) the deposit back on the flat. I will have my final salary from my employer, and I should be entitled to some redundancy pay, but it won’t be much due to the caps introduced in 2017 and the fact that I am under 40. I am still pursuing the legal case, but the time frame on that has turned to jelly.

 I am not giving up. I will keep working all of the hours that every God sends me. I will keep tutoring. I will keep scraping and saving. I will take the resit marking this winter if it is offered to me. But I am living in fear right now that this will not be enough.

 Explain how soon you need the funds

 I am currently interviewing for jobs to start in 2018 at the end of January. Ideally, we need to be in New Zealand by around the 20th of January. The cats can’t actually leave the country before that point, so they might have to follow us later, which is an additional headache to consider.

 The thing is, everything needs to be done before then. Our medicals need to be done as soon as humanly possible. See above for reasons why.

 Once that’s done, the VISA needs to be applied for, and they can take up to three months, so that also needs to be started the day I get a job offer.

 The longer we wait, the more expensive and complicated things will become. We need to pay a 25% deposit for the cats’ international transfer 6-8 weeks before we leave, so by early December.

 We need to contact a removal company for an accurate storage quote and pay a deposit to secure their services.

 The longer we wait for the flights, the more expensive they will get. January is summer time in New Zealand, the flights are in peak season over there, as are all the accommodation options and internal transport options (car hire, bus, train, etc) to get us from the airport to wherever we end up staying.

 In short we need to raise this money now. As soon as possible. Otherwise, the whole thing is potentially going to fall through.

  Share how grateful you will be for help

  I have absolutely no right to ask for any of this. I can’t promise that there is anything in it for any of you, beyond knowing that you have helped us to achieve this dream. Should you ever make it out to NZ and turn up on our doorstep, our welcome and hospitality is open to you. But that was already the case.

 I’m really struggling for words to write this without sounding like a hackneyed X Factor contestant. This is our biggest shot at being happy and living a health life, rather than just surviving. This has been our every waking, breathing and speaking moment for the last two years. It will be until we get there. This will change our lives. And not in the sun-shiny Hollywood sense, but by giving us a shot at the future we want and need so dearly.

 I have set the total for this to cover what we need to get out there. But in all honesty, if it raises anything at all, I will cry with gratitude, because it will mean that people are willing to help us and we don’t have to carry this on our own.

[shirlleycoyle]

The Ghanaian Pallbearers Meme Is Coming for Kim Jong Un

Ghanaian pallbearers have become the harbingers of death on the internet. There is no better example of their influence than the Ghanaian pallbearer memes about the rumored but not at all confirmed death of North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un.

Although the North Korean government says that this is strictly a rumor, a lot of people think that either Kim Jong Un has died, or that his health is in decline. Send in the Ghanaian pallbearers:

Since this meme format was popularized in early April, it's taken over the internet. Joining the hallowed halls of memes like Distracted Boyfriend or Overly Attached Girlfriend, the pallbearers are now recognizable on sight, and everyone knows what they signify. When the pallbearers show up, someone is going to die. In fact, people have been iterating on the meme with that new wrinkle on it. The original meme format used the pallbearers to say that someone has died, literally or symbolically. This new version of the meme uses the pallbearers as harbingers of death. If they're friending you on Facebook or suddenly all following you on Twitter, your time is about to be up.

One new version of the meme shows the pallbearers coming closer and closer each time someone does something that might endanger their health.

Kim Jong Un pallbearer memes capitalize on this variation. Because the North Korean government insists that he's alive while the rest of the world has collectively decided that he's dead, the Ghanaian pallbearer memes make him a kind of Schroedinger's Dictator. If he were already dead and we absolutely knew that for sure, using this meme format would feel like beating a dead horse, or digging up a coffin to dance with it. With the lack of clear information, people get to play around with the threat of the pallbearers, who bring death in while dancing to Tony Igy's "Astronomia."

As coronavirus deaths in the US reach over 50,000, the morbidity of the internet has not diminished. If anything, the dominant brand of merrymaking on the internet now is gallows humor. While my mom has very little understanding of memes and internet culture in general, even she is sending me ominous Boomer memes about injecting bleach. Making light of whether or not a horrific dictator is dead is how we're all getting by, at least until the pallbearers come for us.

The Ghanaian Pallbearers Meme Is Coming for Kim Jong Un syndicated from https://triviaqaweb.wordpress.com/feed/

[leoprimrose]

Just some thoughts.

Everyone knows about how we live in a world of planned obsolescence, just think about the iPhone. Have you ever had an iPhone after a few new generations and suddenly it just doesn't work anymore? Or a washer etc etc. It's because they were made to fail after a certain amount of time had past so the supplier could make more money.

But you can't really be mad at them for it when they got the idea from their own bodies. The body to which you too own. Planned obsolescence is a foundation of all life on this planet. We are no different.

It's strange to think about how our own bodies betray us just as much as people we pay for screens we look at. But thinking in itself is against the nature of our being.

The reason? To make way for better. Just think of the "ok boomer" memes. Now imagined if we were all going to live forever. Science and evolution would falter and we would advance at such a mind boggling slow pace. Survival of a species means deaths of individuals.

[jenniferasberryus]

Why Sonic Is the Perfect Mascot for Gen Z

Ever since the film based on the Genesis’ Sonic games got regenerated for Gen Zs, it’s got me thinking: “Gen Z’s” sounds a lot like “Genesis.” But, beyond that, it’s got me thinking about the ever-improving system we have in place for marketing nostalgia to Millenials, while also trying to convince new clusters of Gen Z kids to embrace these characters and franchises as their own.

Marvel comics became the MCU, the Star Wars continue unabated, and everyone’s so aware that we’re living in recycled times that... that’s all I’m really going to say about it. What’s interesting to me is just how perfect Sonic the Hedgehog is as a vehicle for this kind of weaponized nostalgia, and how he’s served as a measure of our relationship to coolness for three generations now.

[widget path="global/article/imagegallery" parameters="albumSlug=sonic-the-hedgehog-a-visual-history-of-segas-mascot&captions=true"]

Obviously, by casting Jim Carrey in a wacky role and re-doing the CG to make Sonic look more like his classic self, the filmmakers aren’t shying away from appealing to fond Millenial memories (you know, for money!). But Sonic remains primarily a kids’ movie, and thinking about the ways that today’s young people may relate to the blue blur made me realize that Sonic said a lot more about the Millennial generation than we realized - whether he intended to or not - and he sheds light on some of the things that connect us across time, no matter our generation...except for the Boomers, who I guess we all hate now? Is that the meme? Regardless, to understand why Sonic is the fuzzy multi-generational mirror that he is, we’re going to need...

A Bit of a History Lesson

To be clear, I’m considering a Baby Boomer someone born between 1950 and 1965, a Gen X-er someone born between ‘65 and ‘80, a Millenial someone born between ‘80 and ‘95 (prime Sonic age), and a Gen Z-er anyone born after 1995.

When Sonic was initially released in 1991, I was six years old, and “being cool” was super important both to myself and all of my peers (except for the kid who brought a gavel to school every day). What I think younger folks today might not understand is that this quest for coolness was not about authenticity, individuality, or any kind of meta-awareness of our identities. We weren’t “cool,” we were Cool™, and Coolness™ was defined by brands, something most of us didn’t grow up with the media-savvy to question. It was about being in a minority product vertical: skateboarding, black clothes, skitchin’, rap and/or punk rock on MTV, and unironically spelling the word “extreme” with a capital X.

[widget path="global/article/imagegallery" parameters="albumSlug=9-corporate-ad-games-that-didnt-suck&captions=true"]

Speaking of irony, I’d argue that the ’90s were the decade where Detached Irony was born, grew up, got perfected as chronicled in the 1995 Alanis Morisette song “Ironic,” and, in a sense, died. Irony is a toy we make memes with nowadays, but it used to be what we used to identify ourselves as - we were misfits who were “over it,” and therefore cooler than you. You were Coke, we were Pepsi. Flash forward twenty years and I’d call myself more of a Blueberry Acai caffeine-free Diet Coke guy; my point being that identity issues have gotten more complex over the years. And Sonic has all of that wrapped up in his fur. Needles? His…hedgehog...texture.

The ’90s were a gaming landscape dominated by Mario: a fat, middle-aged human who focuses primarily on jumping. This made Sonic feel like pure, uncut, corporate-designed cool in a way that immediately juiced the X-centers of my brain. If you were a Sega kid, you felt indie, edgy, a little more Pitchfork than your Nintendo playmates. Sonic focused on going fast, his head had Liberty Spikes, and he was such a crude, rude, awesome dude that if you stopped playing for a few seconds he’d look right into camera and give you the stink eye for wasting his time.

Amazingly, none of that seemed corny to us at the time. Sonic’s Cool was genuine and accepted by his fans with a naivete born of the mono-media culture of the ’70s and ’80s, and which has been slowly decaying ever since Fonzie jumped the shark. These days it’s almost been completely dispelled as the internet and other technologies drive us to be more aware of the systems around us from a younger and younger age.

Considering that, it’s no coincidence that the 90’s saw the ascendance of grunge music, pop-punk, an explosion in goth culture, the advent of “The Gritty Reboot,” and popular films with nihilism as a central theme. As a culture, we became obsessed with the “fakeness” of all the sheeple around us — irony became a way to interact with the broader world, and a signature part of the Gen X and Millenial attitude. Suddenly we were only interested in bands that hadn’t “sold out” yet, and anyone who didn’t think everything sucked was probably a phony.

[ignvideo url="https://www.ign.com/videos/2015/10/14/history-of-awesome-1998"]

In that environment, Sonic’s cool started to taste a little Chemical Zone-ey, a little factory-produced. Although the fact that his transition to 3-D graphics was far less graceful than Mario’s was definitely a factor, as a pop-cultural icon Sonic had to shift gears, too. The first Sonic TV show, essentially a kid’s comedy, was canceled and replaced with a much more action-packed and serious take on the Battle for Mobius (if you didn’t know, Sonic’s from a planet called Mobius in the year 3235, but it’s best not to question it).

During the same period, Sonic stopped moving merch, and Sega announced their retirement from the console wars. Which finally brings us to Gen Z, the generation that’s proud to be themselves and frankly doesn’t give a f**k what you think about it.

Sonic & Gen Z (or... Zennials or… Whatever You/They Want to Call Your/Themselves)

These days, truly being yourself, unique, authentic… just you, is huge business. Youtube and Twitch are filled with child billionaires who lean into their personality quirks and are loved specifically for that reason. Also some racism. But the bigger point is, in the new normal, ironic detachment isn’t nearly as valuable. It’s actually cooler, these days, to be into something than to be over something. Young people feel more empowered to simply like what they like, which makes it an ideal time for Sonic to re-enter the fray.

[ignvideo url="https://www.ign.com/videos/2019/11/12/sonic-the-hedgehog-old-and-new-design-comparison"]

None of this is to say the movie will definitely do well (or even be good), but as a Sonic fan for life, it’s been interesting to watch him go from cool, to corporatized and “fake”, to “kinda corny and silly and… still fake, but that’s what’s funny about it.” The whole debacle with the initial CG Sonic reveal speaks to that...the filmmakers tried to make Sonic “realistic” and the internet said, “No you idiots, he’s a cartoon rascal that thinks he’s too cool for school, just let him be that!”

Gen Z is the first generation of humans to have grown up fully immersed in a digitally-enhanced society. Everyone is able to indulge their interests and hobbies much more thoroughly now, which has resulted in a galaxy of fragmented fan-bases and communal identities that make the “Are you a Sega person or a Nintendo person?” question seems quaint by comparison.

[ignvideo url="https://www.ign.com/videos/2019/03/01/why-are-there-no-good-video-game-movies"]

Nowadays, someone isn’t just a Nintendo or Sega player - they’re an anime cosplayer with an interest in tabletop gaming, or a maker of pixel-beats who crochets Star Wars scarves on Etsy in their spare time. The pop culture landscape is richer. Case in point: there were 130 more movies released in the US in 2018 than in 2017, and the number of scripted TV series’ have increased by 85% since 2011. In such a dynamic environment, generalizations are tough to make, but there is a lot of statistical data on Gen Z folks -- mostly marketing data about buying trends, because Capitalsim™ -- that I think bodes well for the possibility of a Sonic Renaissance.

Environmental Consciousness

Gen Z kids are more concerned about pollution, sustainability, and conservancy than any previous generation. Sonic the Hedgehog’s arch-nemesis is a boomer in a non-self-driving vehicle who’s here to automate all the flowers and animals and build a giant factory.

Fiscal Responsibility

Gen Z-ers are notoriously thrifty, more likely to work a series of freelance jobs or change careers frequently, and always looking for bargains or a place to live that they can actually afford. Sonic the Hedgehog hoards gold rings and emeralds and is in danger of being gentrified out of his neighborhood.

Cord-Cutters

Gen Z is the generation that “cut the cable,” and consumes most of their content on their mobiles, seeing screens as essentially interchangeable and TV as outdated. Sonic destroys hundreds of old-fashioned TVs every game and is mobility incarnate.

Data Protection

Gen Z places less emphasis on the importance of personal privacy. Sonic wears gloves and shoes but no pants.

Ethically-Sourced…Chili Dogs?

Gen Z is consuming far less meat than previous generations. Sonic loves chili dogs, which is a tube of several kinds of meat with ground-up meat on top. Okay, that one doesn’t work. Um...

Blue Hair

I’ve been seeing lots of kids with blue hair lately? What’s up with that?

Let’s see, how can I sound older than I already do? Oh! Bidets? No thank you! What’s all this fuss lately about bidets and bidet seat add-ons? I’ll stick to good old-fashioned American-made two-ply, thank you very much! Now, in my day, we had the Virtual Boy, and he was my best friend and oh my, the times we’d have…

[poilib element="accentDivider"]

Editor’s Note: Michael just kept typing out SNES titles until he got sleepy. We put a blanket over him to make sure he didn’t get cold.

What’s your take on Sonic these days? Corporate Shill or Moderately Funny In Sort of a Kitschy Way Corporate Shill? Let us know in the comments, or to really see how far the internet has fallen, check out what happens when you put the creepy old CG sonic’s teeth on other game characters.

from IGN Video Games https://www.ign.com/articles/2020/01/09/why-sonic-is-the-perfect-mascot-for-gen-z via IFTTT from The Fax Fox https://thefaxfox.blogspot.com/2020/01/why-sonic-is-perfect-mascot-for-gen-z.html

[theliterateape]

American Shithole #15 — Comedians Unite! Except You, Dennis

Who are the adults again? Not me, as this column joyfully illustrates. Good day to you, American Shithole readers!

This week’s embarrassing queue of hack journalists getting everything wrong about Michelle Wolf’s brilliant, blistering performance at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner is on par with the media’s lack of overall self-awareness, and reticence to accept accountability for the success of the Trump campaign.

That daily, non-stop barrage of coverage, as much as Russians, billionaires, and republicans, led us to this tediously infantile behavior we have been subjected to for seventeen months —  and the only adults I see lately doing fuck-all about it, are the kids making mincemeat out of various mouthpieces for the NRA.

Everyone in politics and journalism at this point that isn’t screaming “LIARS!” every single day at the top of their lungs is suspect. Sarah Huckabee Sanders literally lies all day long, and the panderers in the White House press corps politely ask her questions each week, as if the lies are going to somehow suddenly cease — and then — while drawing the same breath, these same journalists misrepresent the words and intent of a comedian that brought truth to power?

Michelle Wolf dropped truth down on that house of cowards and charlatans like a motherfucking ANVIL.

All while Trump disparaged the “tough to watch”  Paralympics, describing the event from his safe-space bully pulpit in Michigan — too cowardly to show his face at the WHCD again this year — as limited crowds again chanted “lock her up” for an old grandma he ran against two years ago, and “Nobel, Nobel” because he somehow single-handedly united Korea.

Late Sunday evening, White House Correspondents’ Association President Margaret Talev issued a statement apologizing for comedian Michelle Wolf’s performance.

Oh, fuck you, Margaret. You fucking coward!

Media, you whore! Journalists covering this president are such fucking hypocritical jackasses. The stink of this man — the stink you still joyfully roll around in like pigs in shit — in the end, you do understand he will be your undoing? He is everyone’s undoing that gets too close to him. Faith in the institution of journalism has already been gutted, and you clueless, tone-deaf, humorless boors shat upon the 1st amendment at your own event, again?

Shame. Where’s the Game of Thrones meme when I need it? SHAME!

Also, Michelle Wolf didn’t attack anyone’s looks. The way some of the prominent journalists in our country fell all over themselves to defend Sarah fucking Huckabee Sanders’ honor, just rankles my cankles.

Michelle did her fucking job. She kicked all the chairs out from underneath you, you sleepy-eyed, coddled, shitgibbon enablers — and apparently you couldn’t tell ruthless political commentary from a fugly joke, if your journalistic integrity depended on it.

Which, it did.

Well, in the interest of truth and social responsibility, I would like to provide a few examples of what jokes attacking Sarah Sanders’ appearance could look like, if you encounter them out in the wild — this is not an effort to disparage, only to educate — where hopefully American journalists will be better equipped to tell the difference between cutting-edge political satire, and a fat joke.

Remember, these are just examples of what insensitive jokes might look like; they are not truly meant as disparaging remarks on Sanders’ physical appearance.

1.      Is that Sarah Huckabee Sanders, or did a bridge troll fuck Estée Lauder?

2.      What do Sarah Huckabee Sanders and circus elephants have in common? Both look like they’ve just come from trampling their makeup artists to death.

3.      Are you sure that’s Sarah Huckabee Sanders? I thought that was a Sumo wrestler exploring western cosplay.

There you go, faux journalists, now you know the difference!

Thankfully, there were many in the media with their integrity still intact that rushed to Wolf’s defense, along with every comedian in the country — save Dennis Miller.

Oh, Dennis.

Dennis, Dennis, Dennis. Get some salve for that rash of Twitter burn you are experiencing. How could you not expect an avalanche of shit for saying you needed three days to write some mean jokes about Michelle? It thrills me so, that you have been irrelevant for so long, two generations of Americans have absolutely no idea who you are. Now that is fucking funny.  

Like countless politicians to date, many journalists and media entities enjoying the ratings boom over the last two years, will find that when this is over — when the adults have come to their senses, and the unruly baby boomers have all been put out to pasture — that their careers are forever tarnished, if not outright ruined by their association with this administration.

But right, it’s the funny, red-headed, spitfire comedienne that needs to apologize…

I believe most of us understand now, that this isn’t a news cycle, this is a news cyclone. Every week I take a snapshot of one, possibly two events, or one person, and the rest is just ripped into the sky, never to be heard from again.

It makes the choice of topic plentiful, I suppose, but it’s also a bit like being a bear in the middle of a salmon run.

Although this week the moon could have been on fire and I still would have written about Michelle. Is that a comedian under attack? Here, let me lower the bar.

In other breaking news, it seems the Trump lawyers themselves leaked the 49 questions the Mueller team provided — in a relatively transparent effort to try this “case” in the court of public opinion.

What you don’t know, is that those 49 questions used to be 54.

That’s right; our crack team of investigative journalists here at American Shithole uncovered five additional Mueller team questions for Trump — deemed too insensitive — that ultimately didn’t make the cut. At great legal risk to ourselves, we present them for you here:

1.      Mr. President, are there some paintings you worked on as a frustrated young artist we could compliment, retroactively?

2.      Treasonous-president-says-what? Gotcha!

3.      Mr. President, before you answer any further questions, have you considered how terrible you’re going to look in orange?

4.      Mr. President, when Vladimir Putin first informed you that he had the pee-pee tape, did you…

          a.       Piss yourself.

          b.      Shit and piss yourself.

          c.       Call Cohen, your idiot lawyer, then shit and piss yourself.

          d.      Immediately sell out your own country.

5.      When you immediately sold out your own country, did you even consider for even a fraction of a fucking second, you selfish, stupid, arrogant asshole, the suffering you would cause for every American and the damage you would do to the institutions of justice and the fabric of our democracy?

I’d like an answer to that last one — preferably via tweet from atop his stainless steel shitter in prison.

Some days I wake up and I don’t believe this is still happening. This administration is cause for enough embarrassment, and legitimate fear, that I don’t know if we will ever be able to hold our heads up again — at least in my lifetime.

I’m so ashamed to be an American — but there is a crest and swell on the horizon. I can see the wave gathering energy, still far out at sea; unstoppable forces of nature will come crashing down on our shores, come November.

B.S. Report

Congratulations are in order to Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School students, Cameron Kasky and Samantha Fuentes, as well as Zion Kelly, of Washington, who will be honored by PEN, a literary and human rights organization. On May 22, in New York City, the three students will be presented the PEN/Toni and James C. Goodale Freedom of Expression Courage Award. Congratulations!

 Stay strong, Dad.

[literateape]

American Shithole #15 — Comedians Unite! Except You, Dennis

Who are the adults again? Not me, as this column joyfully illustrates. Good day to you, American Shithole readers!

This week’s embarrassing queue of hack journalists getting everything wrong about Michelle Wolf’s brilliant, blistering performance at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner is on par with the media’s lack of overall self-awareness, and reticence to accept accountability for the success of the Trump campaign.

That daily, non-stop barrage of coverage, as much as Russians, billionaires, and republicans, led us to this tediously infantile behavior we have been subjected to for seventeen months —  and the only adults I see lately doing fuck-all about it, are the kids making mincemeat out of various mouthpieces for the NRA.

Everyone in politics and journalism at this point that isn’t screaming “LIARS!” every single day at the top of their lungs is suspect. Sarah Huckabee Sanders literally lies all day long, and the panderers in the White House press corps politely ask her questions each week, as if the lies are going to somehow suddenly cease — and then — while drawing the same breath, these same journalists misrepresent the words and intent of a comedian that brought truth to power?

Michelle Wolf dropped truth down on that house of cowards and charlatans like a motherfucking ANVIL.

All while Trump disparaged the “tough to watch”  Paralympics, describing the event from his safe-space bully pulpit in Michigan — too cowardly to show his face at the WHCD again this year — as limited crowds again chanted “lock her up” for an old grandma he ran against two years ago, and “Nobel, Nobel” because he somehow single-handedly united Korea.

Late Sunday evening, White House Correspondents’ Association President Margaret Talev issued a statement apologizing for comedian Michelle Wolf’s performance.

Oh, fuck you, Margaret. You fucking coward!

Media, you whore! Journalists covering this president are such fucking hypocritical jackasses. The stink of this man — the stink you still joyfully roll around in like pigs in shit — in the end, you do understand he will be your undoing? He is everyone’s undoing that gets too close to him. Faith in the institution of journalism has already been gutted, and you clueless, tone-deaf, humorless boors shat upon the 1st amendment at your own event, again?

Shame. Where’s the Game of Thrones meme when I need it? SHAME!

Also, Michelle Wolf didn’t attack anyone’s looks. The way some of the prominent journalists in our country fell all over themselves to defend Sarah fucking Huckabee Sanders’ honor, just rankles my cankles.

Michelle did her fucking job. She kicked all the chairs out from underneath you, you sleepy-eyed, coddled, shitgibbon enablers — and apparently you couldn’t tell ruthless political commentary from a fugly joke, if your journalistic integrity depended on it.

Which, it did.

Well, in the interest of truth and social responsibility, I would like to provide a few examples of what jokes attacking Sarah Sanders’ appearance could look like, if you encounter them out in the wild — this is not an effort to disparage, only to educate — where hopefully American journalists will be better equipped to tell the difference between cutting-edge political satire, and a fat joke.

Remember, these are just examples of what insensitive jokes might look like; they are not truly meant as disparaging remarks on Sanders’ physical appearance.

1.      Is that Sarah Huckabee Sanders, or did a bridge troll fuck Estée Lauder?

2.      What do Sarah Huckabee Sanders and circus elephants have in common? Both look like they’ve just come from trampling their makeup artists to death.

3.      Are you sure that’s Sarah Huckabee Sanders? I thought that was a Sumo wrestler exploring western cosplay.

There you go, faux journalists, now you know the difference!

Thankfully, there were many in the media with their integrity still intact that rushed to Wolf’s defense, along with every comedian in the country — save Dennis Miller.

Oh, Dennis.

Dennis, Dennis, Dennis. Get some salve for that rash of Twitter burn you are experiencing. How could you not expect an avalanche of shit for saying you needed three days to write some mean jokes about Michelle? It thrills me so, that you have been irrelevant for so long, two generations of Americans have absolutely no idea who you are. Now that is fucking funny.  

Like countless politicians to date, many journalists and media entities enjoying the ratings boom over the last two years, will find that when this is over — when the adults have come to their senses, and the unruly baby boomers have all been put out to pasture — that their careers are forever tarnished, if not outright ruined by their association with this administration.

But right, it’s the funny, red-headed, spitfire comedienne that needs to apologize…

I believe most of us understand now, that this isn’t a news cycle, this is a news cyclone. Every week I take a snapshot of one, possibly two events, or one person, and the rest is just ripped into the sky, never to be heard from again.

It makes the choice of topic plentiful, I suppose, but it’s also a bit like being a bear in the middle of a salmon run.

Although this week the moon could have been on fire and I still would have written about Michelle. Is that a comedian under attack? Here, let me lower the bar.

In other breaking news, it seems the Trump lawyers themselves leaked the 49 questions the Mueller team provided — in a relatively transparent effort to try this “case” in the court of public opinion.

What you don’t know, is that those 49 questions used to be 54.

That’s right; our crack team of investigative journalists here at American Shithole uncovered five additional Mueller team questions for Trump — deemed too insensitive — that ultimately didn’t make the cut. At great legal risk to ourselves, we present them for you here:

1.      Mr. President, are there some paintings you worked on as a frustrated young artist we could compliment, retroactively?

2.      Treasonous-president-says-what? Gotcha!

3.      Mr. President, before you answer any further questions, have you considered how terrible you’re going to look in orange?

4.      Mr. President, when Vladimir Putin first informed you that he had the pee-pee tape, did you…

          a.       Piss yourself.

          b.      Shit and piss yourself.

          c.       Call Cohen, your idiot lawyer, then shit and piss yourself.

          d.      Immediately sell out your own country.

5.      When you immediately sold out your own country, did you even consider for even a fraction of a fucking second, you selfish, stupid, arrogant asshole, the suffering you would cause for every American and the damage you would do to the institutions of justice and the fabric of our democracy?

I’d like an answer to that last one — preferably via tweet from atop his stainless steel shitter in prison.

Some days I wake up and I don’t believe this is still happening. This administration is cause for enough embarrassment, and legitimate fear, that I don’t know if we will ever be able to hold our heads up again — at least in my lifetime.

I’m so ashamed to be an American — but there is a crest and swell on the horizon. I can see the wave gathering energy, still far out at sea; unstoppable forces of nature will come crashing down on our shores, come November.

B.S. Report

Congratulations are in order to Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School students, Cameron Kasky and Samantha Fuentes, as well as Zion Kelly, of Washington, who will be honored by PEN, a literary and human rights organization. On May 22, in New York City, the three students will be presented the PEN/Toni and James C. Goodale Freedom of Expression Courage Award. Congratulations!

 Stay strong, Dad.