#and guess what! no theatre teacher!

[saltedsolenoid]

it's rather hard to share food with someone when there's nobody there

[so-you-melted-22]

the true pain of being queer is when my legs hurt after i walked through the entire city during the csd

[venussunrise]

some trait in me that makes people desperate to employ me 

[da-birb-writes-sometimes]

One of Us is Guilty; Prologue

Eight people, nine rooms, seven weapons. One person is guilty, and until they are found, no one is safe; from the perpetrator of the crime, or of being accused.

Characters; Vil Schoenheit, Divus Crewel, Rook Hunt, Azul Ashengroto, Silver, Jade Leech, Cater Diamond

Content; Gender-neutral reader, unreliable narrators

Content Warning; Death (not described), murder (not described)

Word Count; 1.3 K (includes guide on how to participate at the end)

Find this content triggering but still want to participate? Go to this Google Form! <- form is now closed, thank you to the people who voted!

As a reminder, do not put my work — or others for that matter — into AI as it steals. Link to Masterlist

| Prologue | Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Epilogue (Part 1) | Epilogue (Final)

You were making your way down the main flight of stairs, ready to go crawl into your bed after the long day.

“Attention! Attention!” Crowley’s voice echoed over the PA system, still annoyingly chipper despite the late hour. What was he even still doing here? “Due to the weather, all remaining staff and students are under orders to stay inside the building until morning!” And the PA system cut out.

You groaned, “Seriously? It can’t be that bad–” A loud crack of thunder sounded directly above the building, causing the chandelier to shake. “Okay then,” you huffed, plopping down on the stairs, “I get the message.”

Of course, you would get stuck here for the night, guess that’s what happens when you stay back to study and work on assignments.

But you weren’t the only person stuck in the desolate halls of Night Raven College; seven others were in the same boat as you.

…

Vil was in the lecture theatre, reviewing his notes for the upcoming performance that the Film Research Club would be putting on next week. He too heard Crowley’s announcement and pushed his hair back, massaging his temple. He would not be getting a good night’s rest tonight.

“Tch, no use lamenting over it,” he sighed to himself. Carefully, he put the notes and suggestions away in their designated folder, and he made his way to the main hall. If anyone was still here with him, they might be there; at least he would have some company for the night, and not be alone in the empty hallways.

…

Professor Crewel was grading papers in the teacher’s lounge, and getting a migraine from it as well. “Have those pups learned nothing from me,” he grumbled.

He would much rather be at home in his finest pyjamas, scratching the chins of his dogs, but no, he was stuck here, and would be stuck until the storm passed or Headmaster Crowley got back on the PA system saying it was safe to leave. But knowing his employer, the man had transported himself home, leaving everyone stuck at the college oblivious.

I ought to wring his neck if he did.

…

Rook was in the library, perusing through various books, just looking for something to pass the time. He knew earlier that day that a storm was brewing, he could tell by the clouds and the faint smell wafting on the breeze. He also knew that Vil would be staying late, and he wasn’t going to leave Roi de Poison alone.

After going down a few aisles, Rook finally found a book to his liking. “Hmm, this is new. Ah, how interesting!” Tucking the book under his arm, Rook made his way to the lecture theatre, as that was where he had last seen Vil.

Perhaps un meurtre mystère would make for a good plot for a future performance?

…

Silver had fallen asleep in the cafeteria, apparently he had slept for most of the day. He had only woken up because of Crowley’s voice echoing loudly in the large, empty room.

Did they not notice? Silver rubbed his eyes and yawned. If he was here, there was a possibility of others also finding themselves stuck in the school for the night. The least he could do was make sure others were staying calm, and staying safe. Even outside of his duties he was ever still the protector, and far too kind.

“Hopefully no one got hurt…” he murmured to himself. There was something off, a dark presence of sorts, and it wasn’t just the dark clouds hurling down rain, hail, and lightning outside.

Something doesn’t feel right…

…

Azul was in the alchemy lab, perfecting the most complicated potion that was in his textbook; he had a reputation to upkeep after all, and didn’t want anyone usurping his rank at the top of the class.

There, I just need to add some belladonna and— the suddenness of Crowley’s overly loud voice coming over the PA system caused Azul to add too much, and the potion evaporated. Azul gritted his teeth, but took a step back. Perhaps a walk would help calm him down… he was going to have to replace all of those ingredients tomorrow…

“So close,” he hissed, and he started making his way down the hall, still muttering to himself.

…

Jade was washing the dirt from his hands, having just come back from checking on his fungi in the botanical gardens. He already knew before Crowley made his little announcement that he would be spending the night, which didn’t bother him all that much. Perhaps he could see what was in the kitchen, since he did have that new dish which looked and sounded to be divine.

But that could wait, Azul was most likely still working on that potion of his, and knowing the house warden, he had fumbled with the ingredients at the sudden noise and probably sulking… and Jade could use some amusement at the moment, and a sulking and slightly peeved Azul would do the trick.

…

Cater was in the kitchen, retrieving something for Trey since they were all out in the Heartslabyul kitchen. Of course it was something sweet, but Cater would rather be here than see the outcome of the freshmans’ antics. Sorry freshies, you’re on your own!

But now he was stuck here for the night, and having nothing better to do, and boredom starting to creep in, Cater brought out his phone and started recording. 

“It’s Cay-kun here!~” He gave a peace sign to the camera and stuck out his tongue. “Let’s see who we can find!” And he started chatting to the camera and walking towards the main hall.

…

…

Eventually, everyone had made their way to the main hall; you, Silver, Vil, Professor Crewel, Rook, Azul, Jade, and Cater. But there was no sign of Headmaster Crowley.

“Have any of you pups seen the Headmaster,” Divus asked, turning up a brow, and looked at his students with suspicion.

Everyone shook their head no. Divus sighed, and turned around the corner, in the direction of the Headmaster’s office, but he stopped in his tracks.

Curious, you looked to where Professor Crewel was staring; lying in the middle of the floor was Crowley, and he wasn’t breathing.

Dire Crowley was dead, murdered. And everyone was a suspect, including you.

About this Event

That's right folks, a classic murder mystery in the style of the board game Clue and some inspiration from the book And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie.

At the beginning and end of each part, I will be including a link to a Google Form where people can vote for who they think is the murderer, what room the murder took place in, and the weapon that was used. There's also an optional question where you can explain your answer, just do know that everything was randomly chosen by a spinner.

The form will be active for at least 72 hours; it may go on for longer if I'm busy. A new form will be added with each part, just with the suspect, room, & weapon that was voted in the last part being removed if they were incorrect... and may take some inspo from the book I mentioned.~

In future parts there will be dark content, as this is a murder mystery; all of the content warnings will be included at the beginning, and also tagged (ie. cw death). Because of this, I will not be tagging people in future parts just as a precaution.

Now, let the investigation begin!

Link to Google Form

Suspects:

- Silver; the kindhearted knight with a mysterious past, is it just for show?  (Plum) - Vil Schoenheit; the actor who is always pigeonholed into the role of a villain (Scarlet) - Divus Crewel; the alchemy teacher with a penchant for fashion, Crowley's co-worker (Peacock) - Rook Hunt; the enigmatic hunter who always has a hunch of what's happening (Mustard) - Azul Ashengrotto; the owner of The Mostro Lounge, a businessman with dubious morals (Green) - Reader; the 'house-keeper', a role that was imposed on them by the late Headmage (White) - Jade Leech; a student enamored by fungi and seems to have a foreboding presence about him (Orchid) - Cater Diamond; the preppy beau of Heartslabyul, but his smile seems forced (Peach)

Rooms:

- Main hall - Teachers' lounge - Cafeteria - Kitchens - Lecture theatre - Botanical garden - Alchemy lab - Library - Crowley's office

Weapons:

- Revolver - Rope - Dagger - Wrench - Candlestick - Lead pipe - Magic

...

Tags; @afunkyfreshblog, @aqua-beam, @azulashengrottospiano, @eynnwwyjth, @hisui-dreamer, @hydra-sea, @identity-theft-101, @inkybloom-luv, @ithseem, @krenenbaker, @leonistic, @lucid-stories, @officialdaydreamer00, @ryker-writes, @savanaclaw1996, @silvers-numberonefan, @twistwonderlanddevotee, @xxoomiii

[year2000electronics]

I absolutely LOVELOVELOVE your Reverse Falls HCs from what I've seen :). I would love to ask more about so much aspects haha.

What is Reverse Ford's main goal in this universe?

What is Ford' and Stanley's backstory?

Mind sharing some info about Reverse! Dipper and Reverse! Mabel?

HOKAY. i will use this ask to talk a little about the reverse stans' backstories because i have Some Ideas. as always full answer under cut bc its got images and rambles galore

in my mind, the gleeful family association with magic & the supernatural starts with caryn's phone psychic business, and ford having "The Gift" while stan ABSOLUTELY doesnt. but in real terms that means just having a really strong intuition and being able to guess well. (at least thats what filbrick and caryn thing. ford genuinely thinks he has some semblance of psychic ability and so does his mom, but they just havent properly honed it yet) and so ford is the preferred child for that, instead of his smarts really. ford is also obsessed with the supernatural still, but it's more focused on the magical aspect.

ford and stan's relationship ends up being close because stan is the only one who believes ford about magic. i mean there are other reasons but thats very important to ford

ford, seeing how stan has always had his back by believing what he says about magic, offers to try and "tutor" stan into having The Gift. drilling him for hours by holding up cards and making him guess, stuff like that. but yknow, since both of them are kinda clamoring to inherit their mom's business, stan kinda ends up relying on ford for everything, and theyre taking on almost a mentor-student relationship when theyre Literally Brothers.

instead of west coast tech, the scholarship ford is being offered is for a famous performing arts school after his teachers saw him take the leads in school plays year after year. they tell him a scout will be at their school's talent show, and ford decides he's going to put on a stage magic show (with stan as his assistant). this time, not only is stan worried about ford leaving, but also, since they've both been working towards a really similar thing (performing for a crowd), he's really worried he'll never get a chance to show off that HE has skill, too! ford brushes him off about this saying that he'll put a good word in for stan when he's at performing arts school and stan is like "ok." and agrees to be his assistant.

in the middle of ford's show, he goes rogue, trying to show the scouts that he can be just as skilled as ford is, and completely screws up the trick he ends up performing. ford doesnt get that internship, ford is furious, so is filbrick, stan gets kicked out, you know the rest.

ford goes to backupsmore and double-majors in both theatre and whatever he majors in in the show. he plans to move to gravity falls because of its high ratings of weirdness. after stan got kicked out, instead of becoming a traveling salesman, he becomes a street magician who doubles as a pickpocket. stealing peoples' watches and stuff. he runs around all over the place

ford digs up four mystic amulets once he gets to gravity falls and stays there for a while, and is like "oh man i can USE these". so how i imagine the amulets to work is that they're kinda like, a conduit through which you can learn legit magic? like casting spells and stuff. but he probably only needs one so he keeps the other three in his house (and that's how the kids eventually find the others)

and of course thats how he starts up the tent of telepathy!

but he wants more. he wants to make the world pay for ever calling him a six fingered freak. and he wants to prove to the world that his magic IS real. he can't just lie sequestered in gravity falls forever. so he goes hunting for more answers about gravity falls' weirdness, and how he might be able to get more POWER to make a show so good the entire world will see... and that's how he summons will cipher! will tells him about the portal, and how itll open up a dimension of weirdness into his own, and ford accepts on those terms, looking out just for himself. then he asks fidds to come help with the portal, fidds walks out on him, he shackles will to him in a deal, but they both realize they don't have the manpower to run the portal. reluctantly, ford calls stan up, telling him to come and that it's important.

...but of course that doesnt go well. stan initiates a physical fight and ford ends up getting sucked into the portal. will is left alone with stan, who tells him he can buzz off because HE certainly doesnt want him around. stan works for the next 30 years to get ford back because he wants ford to finally be the one who has to suck up to HIM and owe HIM something.

at some point, mason and mabel's parents become unable to take care of them and give them to stan. he reluctantly takes them in, but soon after, not only do they find the amulets but also journal 2, and they end up reactivating ford's deal with will, getting passed down to the "next of kin" after stan rejected it. AND THATS SORTA WHERE THE SHOW STARTS. THUMBS UP.

[apomaro-mellow]

Hot for Teacher(s) 16

Part 15

Shawn watched as the Pre-K students walked in a line down the hallway. They were so little. They still got naptime and cried in the morning when their parents dropped them off. Shawn couldn’t remember being like that, but he remembered that age. He remembered having good and bad times with his sire.

There were games of catch, and trips to the park. There were times when he needed a hand to hold and he reached for his dad’s, the one person he knew in a crowd of strangers. But then there were nights of shouting. Nights where he was afraid for his other dad. And for himself. Nights where one dad tried to rush him upstairs before he could hear and see the worst of it. But being up in his room and hearing a muffled argument was sometimes worse than being present. He was left to guess what was happening until footsteps came to his room.

Anytime he fought with Billy and Shawn was around, Steve made a point to come up and check on him. Not just for Shawn’s sake but his own. He couldn’t relax until he made sure his pup was safe. 

Shawn shook his head as he fiddled with the hall pass, continuing on his way to the bathroom. He knew that 7-4=3. That was easy math. And yet those three years between him and pre-k seemed like a million years instead.

-------------------

Steve made the decision the day Eddie came back from the park and told him Billy had approached them. They needed to get away for a bit. And spring break gave them the perfect opportunity to do so. It would be the four of them. Him, Shawn, Robin, and now Eddie. Steve had quite the itinerary planned as they drove to their hotel in the city.

He knew he’d made the right choice when Shawn woke him up the first day of break. He had pounced right on his torso, his grunt and the force of Shawn somehow not waking Eddie up at all. 

The first day they were simply walking about the streets, getting some exploring in. Steve and Robin took as many pictures as humanly possible. Steve of course, was a sucker for his kid and knew these moments would be fleeting as he got older. But also Eddie turned out to be a very good subject. Very briefly Steve thought about how even in his most obsessed shutterbug phase, he had very few pictures of Shawn and Billy together.

It felt like he already had more of his pup and Eddie sharing the same frame. But after that thought he pushed Billy from his mind because Eddie was posing, pretending to drink from a huge fountain and Shawn was mirroring him.

They got lunch from a food truck and while sitting on a bench Eddie and Robin argued about the pronunciation of ‘gyro’. Shawn sat between them, watching the debate like a hockey match. They were getting pretty spirited but even he could tell it was all in fun. It wasn’t a real argument.

“Steve. Tiebreaker”, Robin urged.

“You’re gonna call me a traitor if I side with Eddie. And if I side with you, Eddie will go all drama queen on me.”

Eddie then looked down to Shawn. “Back me up Shawnie, shouldn’t it be pronounced the way it’s spelled?”

Shawn tilted his head as he looked at the word on the side of the truck. “If it’s said the way it’s spelled, wouldn’t it be ‘guy-roh’?”

“And a third contender enters the ring”, Steve announced.

They finished lunch and went for a walk around the nearby park. After, they went back onto the streets and just happened to pass by a theatre that was having a puppet show. They bought tickets and Steve was surprised by how engrossed Shawn was. Sometimes it seemed like kids today were growing up faster than before, his son especially. It was moments like these that reminded him he was still so young and new.

“You should use puppets in class”, Shawn suggested to Eddie when the show ended.

“Another compliment about my amazing voice work?”, he batted his lashes.

“Yeah, they’re really funny”, Shawn laughed.

That night at the hotel, Steve and Robin went through all their photos, sharing their favorites. Steve had Robin’s phone and his breath caught in his throat.

“I think I found my favorite”, he said.

The picture had him, Shawn, and Eddie. Shawn stood between them, holding both of their hands. It was the picture of something he always wanted. Someone who loved his pup and him and wanted to be in their lives.

The next day was spent mostly at the museum. Eddie had plenty to say in the dinosaur exhibit but Steve was the one to lead them through the human history exhibits. When they arrived at the insect pavilion though, both let their excitement take over.

“See here Shawn this is…”

“And they’ve adapted the most perfect camouflage…”

“That kind of stunning coloration…”

“Only a few other insects are known to…”

“And they’re pretty deadly too…”

“Thought to bring good luck…”

Shawn was enthralled of course. Bugs were cool. But before either teacher knew it, there was a small gaggle of young museum goers who were hanging onto their every word. Shawn would’ve thought it weird if his teacher wasn’t so great. And he guessed his dad was pretty good at teaching too.

“Alright, who’s ready to learn about gemstones and rocks?”, Eddie asked, which prompted about half a dozen arms to go in the air.

-------------------

Obviously, they didn’t lead a whole impromptu tour group of kids through the museum. It was spring break for teachers too. And Steve was glad to only be responsible for his own pup, if just for a few days. With a sigh, he fell back against the bed in the room he and Eddie were sharing. Robin and Shawn had the room next to them. His feet were aching but Shawn and Eddie were still matching each other’s energy.

“What do you say you and me go out for some more?”, Eddie offered to the boy. 

“Yeah we can feed the ducks! Or see a movie, or or or-”

“Have fun you two”, Steve called out. “Dinner downstairs tonight?”

“Sounds good”, Eddie said, already holding Shawn’s hand.

“They close at eight”, Steve reminded him.

And then the two were out the door. It was quiet for about three seconds and then Steve heard feet pounding back, what sounded like someone fumbling with their things before the door opened.

“I almost forgot”, Eddie said, kind of breathless as he came back over to Steve. He gave his lips a peck. “There. Can’t leave without it.”

Steve rolled his eyes but then grabbed Eddie’s shirt to bring him in for a real kiss. Eddie followed his pull to lean over more onto the bed and was starting to forget why he was leaving in the first place.

“Hey! Ew!”, Shawn squealed. “We gotta go! Stop being gross!”

They broke apart giggling and Eddie spared Shawn any more kissy-face and walked out with him. Steve felt lighter than air even as they left. He really could spend the day kissing Eddie, surrounded by his scent.

-----------------------

Eddie and Shawn had decided on getting some secret ice cream before dinner. The secret was that Eddie knew Steve didn’t care if Shawn had his dessert before. The food was all going to the same place, the order mattered little when he knew how much his pup ate. Eddie just knew not to get him the biggest sundae in the world.

He let out a breath as Shawn started to eat his ice cream. He didn’t know how else to start this conversation besides to just start it. He knew the ice cream wouldn’t actually help soften any blows. He recalled Wayne sitting him down at his favorite diner when he told him his father would be going away for a long time. The food hadn’t made him feel any better. But it definitely didn’t make him feel worse.

“I wanna talk about your dads, buddy. Them and me and how we all fit together.”

Shawn didn’t pause in his eating, bringing another scoop to his mouth but Eddie knew it was to distract himself. “What about it?”

“You know I’ve been courting your dad. We’re serious about being together. I don’t know how you feel about your other dad, but I want you to know I don’t want you to think you have to love me over him. If you ever want to talk to him, or be close to him, I won’t stop you.”

“....Wouldn’t you be my dad too?”, Shawn asked.

Eddie fidgeted with the rings on his hand. “I’d love to. If you want me to.” 

Shawn stirred his slightly melted ice cream around in the bowl. “Are you gonna fight my other dad?”

“Only if he tries to hurt you or Steve”, Eddie answered honestly. 

----------------------

It was their last day in the city and they were spending it all a ball game. Eddie wasn’t much for sports but he could see the appeal. And he definitely enjoyed how much fun Steve and Shawn were having, cheering for their time. When night fell though, it was just Steve and Eddie. Steve had just come out of the shower and was grabbing clothes to change into for bed.

Eddie watched him leisurely from the bed, the TV’s volume turned down low. Tonight he would pop the question. Eddie was nervous, sure. But he hated the thought of any more time passing without having tried. When Steve was dressed, he got on the bed and cuddled up to Eddie’s side.

“Baby?”

“Hm?”

Eddie sat up and adjusted his position so that they were facing each other. Steve sat up too, worry marring his features and Eddie just couldn’t have that. Eddie grabbed his hands. 

“Steve, I wanna give you my bite.”

Steve’s eyes got glassy and he stopped breathing for a long while before letting out a sob and nodding eagerly. “Yes! Yes please! Right now, give it to me now!”

Eddie held his face and brought him in for a kiss that Steve instantly melted into. It took very little nudging to make him fall back onto the mattress, spread out under Eddie. Eddie’s lips moved to his jaw, then his neck, nose buried deep into his skin. Steve always smelled so beautifully but in this moment of euphoric he was downright intoxicating.

He found Steve’s mating bond and licked at it slowly, then lavished it with kisses. He got to his teeth grazing the skin and that was when Steve finally let out a whine and rolled his hips against Eddie’s.

“Stop teasing”, he urged, grabbing the back of Eddie’s head.

“Not teasing, love. I’m savoring.”

Steve’s mouth opened for another complaint but was cut off when Eddie’s hand cupped at his cunt, giving him something to grind against as Eddie kissed his neck. Steve’s whines turned to whimpers and he felt himself getting closer and closer, just from the magic of Eddie’s hand. Then Eddie’s hand dipped under his hem, finally touching his bare pussy and then biting down hard on his neck.

Eddie felt Steve’s orgasm like his own, his tongue and fingers tingling where they were connected to Steve.  He pulled back, licking his lips and admiring his work. But Steve quickly pulled him back in.

“We’re not finished yet”, Steve breathed hotly.

Part 17

Taglist

@anne-bennett-cosplayer @aol19 @lololol-1234 @gregre369 @attic-cat-blog

@hippieg1rl420 @spectrum-spectre @a-lovely-craziness @sharingisntkaren

[mlmshark]

I’m so frustrated because I warned my theatre teacher that last year I went to the hospital for chronic migraines and that it might happen again. Guess what? It did. I missed a lot of classes because of my migraines and instead of acknowledging that I told her it might happen, she acts like I’m lazy for missing so many classes and needing to get caught up. Fucking hate being disabled because nobody ever listens when you warn them and then they get mad when it happens.

[sock-loves-you]

Van Der Linde gang high school teachers headcanons

Dutch: principal leader of the gang, leader of the school

Hosea: theatre it's mentioned in-game that he was in plays, so it would make sense for him to kind of go back to his roots and be a theatre teacher

Abigail: English I think she would be so excited that Jack taught her to read that she would want to teach it

Strauss: economics given his job in-game, I think it would make sense for him to study economics and teach it

Sadie: shop class she mentioned in-game that she and her husband shared all the work, so it makes sense that she would have a more kind of hands-on job I guess ????

John: agriculture he genuinely seems pretty passionate about ranching, I think he would be a good ag teacher :>

Pearson:culinary cook of the gang, cook of the school

Lenny: french he just seems like the kind of guy that would know french

Javier: Spanish he speaks Spanish... so... he would probably make a joke about how his last name is pretty close to the word for school...

Grimshaw: health I think she was the closest thing to a doctor that they had, I can definitely see her as being a nurse or something too

Charles: PE he's just a big guy... he can probably teach students how to work out certain muscles and stuff

Arthur: art he has nice little drawings :>

Mary-Beth: home ec I think it would be a nice, calm class for her to teach

Micah: JROTC assholeism be damned, my boy can work a gun. and be like- really stern and disciplined. and would actually probably be a really good JROTC instructor...

Williamson: history honestly ? i think with his military experience, I think he would pick up an interest in history

Swanson: like a religious history class you know what kind of class I mean, I just don't know what kind religious classes exist

Trelawny: science I think science and magic are pretty similar

Tilly: math idk, she just gives off math vibes

uncle: lunch staff/janitor I just cant see him as anything else tbh

Karen: lunch staff she kind of gives off the vibe of lunch staff

Sean: bus driver/lunch staff it would probably be a cute way for sean and Karen to meet, and he doesn't really give off the vibe of being a teacher

Kieran: psychology idk where to really put him, but maybe psychology would be good because I can definitely see him trying to kind of use phycology tricks to stay safe, idk

I think when jack is older he would teach creative writing because he likes writing, and in my headcanon, its cannon that he wrote the red dead book

[peaceofflights]

“What’s Three Years in the Eyes of Eternity?”

Rated: T for swearing, drug use, making out, slight references to sex.

Warning: slight age gap relationship. (And I made Wally 18).

Pairings: Wally Clark x Reader, Slight Wally Clark x Maddie Nears

Word Count: 4,000 (dear lord how did that happen.)

A/N: Honeslty I love this series and wanted to add some of my own stuff. It’s definitely not beta read so you have been warned. Might go back and edit later, but if I’m being honest probably not. If people like it I’m thinking of making it into a series.

Even though you knew a lot of people who went to Split River High you always felt lucky that you didn’t have to be one of them. Though you wouldn’t call yourself exceptionally talented, growing up in musical theatre gave you a certain edge compared to your peers and landed you across town at an arts school for “gifted” children when it came time for highschool. Before death you could count all the times you had been to the public highschool on one hand, all of which had been to see your brother’s football games. It felt like a long shot when you applied to teach the school’s summer camp of guys and dolls, but when you actually got the job it felt like a weight lifted off your shoulders.

Then again they did pull a weight off your shoulders… well the majority of the catwalk when it collapsed and crushed you to death, but that’s a technicality. Being 21 is hard enough, but being 21 for eternity surrounded by high schoolers, that’s your own personal hell.

Don’t take it the wrong way, all the ghosts were nice enough. You’d think because you and Mina had similar death experiences you would be fast friends…unfortunately that wasn’t the case. Due to her young age you and Mina seemed to only have a love for the arts in common. And unlike you, her accidental death seemed to make Mina bitter, never leaving the theater. Even though the theater felt most like home to you it made the place unbearable to be in, leaving you to roam the halls.

Most days were spent goofing off with Charley. He was a good kid, he reminded you a lot of your friends in highschool. You both liked to think that if you had been in school at the same time you would have been inseparable, but who really knows.

It took Rhonda some time to get used to you. Since you’re both known for a dry sense of humor it took a while to figure out if you were joking or insulting the other. Even still people couldn’t figure out if you were friends or sworn enemies… and honestly you two liked keeping it that way.

Then there was Wally Clark.

Six foot three golden retriever disguised as a jock Wally Clark. It’s funny because you spent your whole life making fun of football players and now you're trapped in purgatory with one. One that was funny, and smart, and always knew how to make you smile. Who if you actually were honest with yourself is the best part of being stuck at Split River High.

It didn’t matter what you two were doing whether it was golf cart joyriding, smoking the weed you found in some weird stoners kids’ lockers, or even learning the moves to dirty dancing (which for some reason there is a copy of stashed in the teacher’s lounge). Life with Wally was good.

But that didn’t change the fact that he was 18.

Something you reminded him of quite often, though Wally always seemed to have his own comebacks.

“What’s three years in the eyes of eternity?”

Or

“Technically I was born in the sixties… I’m older than you.”

Or his personal favorite;

“Can you shut up so we can make out already?”

Yeah, Wally Clark was probably the love of your after life… he just didn’t need to know that. It didn’t matter how many times you turned him down he always came back, patiently waiting for when you would be ready to say yes. It was your routine, and you were more than happy to keep it that way. But I guess Maddie Nears was the day that changed.

—————————

“y/n/n, y/n/n, y/n/n”

You could already hear Wally running down the hall calling your nickname even before he turned the corner. You couldn’t help but laugh and play along.

“Wally, Wally, Wally.”

Suddenly you two were standing face to face, maybe just a step too close for dramatic effect. His over the top waving at you made you crack a smile, making you completely miss the small blonde standing behind him.

“Y/N there is someone I’d like you to meet… Y/N, Maddie, Maddie, Y/N.”

Your smile dropped for all of half a second before you forced it back onto your face. New ghosts might not come very often but they definitely stuck around so you needed to make a good impression. You reached out to shake her hand, she took it and smiled.

She took in your appearance for a moment before cracking a joke; “what are you? Some kind of camp counselor?” Gesturing to your tie dyed shirt and jean shorts.

“Um, yeah actually.” You replied, scratching the back of your head.

You both awkwardly laughed, shifting your weight from side to side, waiting for the conversation to be over. It was clear you two weren’t about to be best friends. But it was one ghost, not much in your life was going to change.

——————————

It felt like your whole life had changed. In the span of a week you went from having your friends whenever you wanted them, to feeling like Maddie was taking up all of their time.

You weren’t dumb, you knew Maddie was going to need friends here too, and if you looked at it objectively there were only so many options for her to choose from. It was stupid to feel jealousy when they hadn’t really gone anywhere at all. It’s not like any of you could roam too far.

But your days spent gossiping with Charley were now spent reading books in the library. And nights of golf carting with Wally were now spent laying alone on the football field gazing at the stars. Even Rhonda seemed too busy for you, all three seemingly absorbed in Maddie’s recent murder.

You were currently on your way to see what Dawn was up to when you heard a familiar sound coming from a classroom.

But it couldn’t be.

You swore your ears were deceiving you until you heard a familiar voice say;

“You’re telling me you’ve never seen Dirty Dancing? Come on Maddie, it’s a classic!”

Your ears weren’t deceiving you at all! That was the sound of Hungry Eyes playing through one of the tv’s dragged into a classroom.

Look it shouldn’t have bothered you, it’s just a stupid movie. Well not a stupid at all, Dirty Dancing was one of the best movies of all time. Maddie was dumb for not having seen it in life, so obviously it was a must watch in her afterlife. But this wasn’t about the movie at all, but what it represented: this was yours and Wally’s movie. The movie you both knew every line to. The movie that you’ve spent years trying to learn the choreography to, and he was watching it with another girl.

“A classic? I don’t know if I would go that far. Was this movie even out when you were alive?”

You should’ve gone in there and yelled at him. You should have told him off for doing your special thing with somebody else. You should have at least listened outside the door to the rest of their conversation, but you didn’t.

——————————

Ever since Maddie joined your little group your life felt like it had been a whirlwind. You didn’t even realize just how much you were missing out on or how much time had passed until you walked into the school gymnasium.

“Shit, is it homecoming already!? I’m sorry Wally, how could I forget?” You exclaimed as you plopped down in front of the hand painted banner the crew was currently working on.

How could you have forgotten about the homecoming game? Despite the game not meaning anything to you, you knew it meant everything to Wally. Sure, you never went to a homecoming game while you were alive, but now that you knew how much it meant to him you spent every year making it as special to Wally as possible.

You along with the rest of the support group made sure to make him feel appreciated. With a homemade banner and decorations, Wally was well celebrated on his death date.

Plus it always made up for the fact that every year he asked you to the homecoming dance, and every year you said no.

“I’m 21, I don’t need to go to another shitty school dance.”

Or

“You really want to go to the dance with the school chaperone?”

So every year Wally went to every school dance alone. And every year you spent the night locked away in some random space blasting Hair or whatever music you could get your hands on.

It was better that way. It helped you keep some remembrance of your old life. It was often difficult to remember you had a life outside the school before you died. And it kept Wally from realizing that he could do so much better than you. The closer he got to you emotionally the more he’d notice he’s way better than the musical theatre dork you are. Even in your adult life you were a loser, you came back to teach summer camp because you couldn’t pay your bills.

“You okay cherry pop, or did the mere sight of lover boy’s ass send you into a coma?”

It wasn’t until you heard Rhonda’s snide remark that you were pulled out of your spiraling thoughts.

That’s when you realized that Wally had left the gym, with Maddie (figures), and you (probably) stared at his ass while he did.

“Hey, what's wrong with you lately? You seem even more moody and distant than usual, and that’s saying something coming from you.”

You shrugged at Rhonda’s words “I don’t really want to talk about.”

“You think I want to talk through your oh woe is me crap? Trust me I don’t. But I’m getting tired of dealing with everyone’s stupid problems by myself, so spill tootsie roll.”

Your second shrug of the conversation had Rhonda groaning, but quickly cut herself off when she realized what all this was about.

“That is what this is about? You know for a college girl you really are stupid. Do you really think Wally could ever replace you? That boy hasn’t stopped drooling since your heart stopped. If you were half as smart as you think you are you’d get your head out of your ass and finally go lay one on him.”

And just as quickly as the conversation with Rhonda started she was out of the door. But this time you knew your friend was right, you needed to fix the situation and fast.

—————————-

In a way you were killing two birds with one stone. There was no way you could go to the game in your t-shirt and shorts, for some reason even ghosts got cold. But looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror dressed in lost and found stolen jeans and Wally’s jacket you couldn’t help but feel confident.

You knew it was cheesy to show up to Wally’s football game wearing his letterman jacket and express your undying love for him. But you knew Wally, and he was absolutely going to love it.

You gave yourself one more once over before you decided to head out, trying to fix your forever slightly sweaty hair from the hot summer sun. This was it, this was your moment.

As the game started you quickly snuck out to the bleachers to hide out until the perfect moment. This part was nerve racking, but also probably your favorite. Watching Wally in his element was enduring and made you think about all the time you had missed out on by his side, all because you were too stubborn to tell him the truth. You ducked down as you saw him start to climb the bleachers to sit down next to his mother, but seemed to be caught by an entirely different ghost.

“Girl, I hardly recognized up here all by yourself in your-“

Charley cut himself off when he noticed what you were wearing.

“Has he seen it yet?” He asked with a special glint in his eyes.

Your cool and collected attitude was thrown out the window as the strong blush on your cheeks gave you away. “No, he hasn’t. I was waiting until he was done with his quality time with his mom to surprise him. It’s not too much is it? I know I should have just sat him down and told him-“

“No, no, no trust me, he’s going to love it. That boy is going to die when he sees you.”

“Hasn’t he already done that?” You softly laughed at your own joke, but Charley just deadpans at you, rubbing his temples dramatically like you’re the Bain of his existence.

“You’re gooood.” He quickly drops his annoyed act to smile warmly at you. “Wally lives for grand gestures, he might actually cry.”

You just smiled at your friend. He’s right about one thing, if Wally loves anything it’s a grand gesture, and now felt like the best time to do it, but as you scan the bleachers you realize he’s nowhere to be seen.

————————————

It felt like eternity until you finally found Wally. The game ended about thirty minutes prior when you finally see him walking behind the stadium, extra swagger to his step.

“Hey Wally! I’ve been looking for you all over! What’s got you in such a fantastic mood?” You giggled to yourself like a schoolgirl, this is it.

“I just asked Maddie to the homecoming dance and she said yes! You know as friends, I mean we’re going as friends. But she’s new and I figured it would be nice for her to know she has a friend In the afterlife. It also gives me someone to go to the dance with and -“ he continued to ramble on but you were no longer listening.

Your heart felt like it lived at the bottom of your stomach. It was silly of you to assume that he’d still want to go to the dance with you after how many times you’ve rejected him. It’s silly that at your age you want to go to the dance at all. These were things you never even thought about in your adult life, but here you were about to cry because some stupid 18 year old jock would rather go with a girl who was willing to immediately agree to a date with him instead of some bitch who’s turned him down how many times in the last fifteen years. Yes it all made perfect sense to you, but it didn’t stop you from wanting to cry yourself to sleep in the girls locker room.

“Hey, is that my jacket?” His words finally took hold in your ears.

“Um yeah!” You stuttered. “My clothes aren’t exactly weather appropriate, and I figured you wouldn’t need it tonight. I hope that was okay.”

“Yeah of course! That’s what friends are for!” He smiled, ruffling your hair before moonwalking out.

———————————

Of all the things you thought you would do this year, getting help from Mina wasn’t even on your metaphorical bingo sheet. But there you were, a hour before the dance having Mina help you sew together a dress fit for homecoming.

You thought it would take a lot more to get her to help you, but her assessment of the situation was simple.

“All technical work is underappreciated by the actors.”

You weren’t sure how that translated to your current conversation, but she wasn’t wrong. We were both stagehands, and stagehands stuck together.

With an extra set of hands putting together a dress wasn’t as difficult as you thought it would be, and for the first time since your death you were ready for the homecoming dance.

——————————

Running your fingers over your baby pink dress you spotted the others standing in a circle by the punch bowl. You wiped the sweat from your hands onto your bodice before making your way over to them. If you had a functioning heart it would be beating faster than ever before.

“Hey guys, fancy seeing you here” You smiled, stealing a sip of Charley’s drink. Your false sense of chill would make others believe you did this every year, but the tapping of your heel on the floor made it obvious that you did not.

“Fancy seeing you here? That’s all you’ve got to say? You look gorgeous!” Charley the ever kind soul that he is says, giving you a half hug in the process.

“You do baby cakes! Who knew you had such nice tits under all that tie dye.” Rhonda’s voice cracked in her signature vocal fry, pinching at your waist trying to get a better look at your figure.

“Mhm” You smiled. “I’ve missed out on a lot of these things. I definitely owe it to my friends to make up on some lost time.” You looked directly at Wally as you finished your sentence, he swallowed hard before averting his gaze. He quickly put on a false over the top smile and grabbed Maddie’s hand while she was taking a sip of her punch. “Come on Maddie let’s dance!”

———————————

Wally POV

Wally laughed as he tossed and turned Maddie around the room flamboyantly, but couldn’t help but watch you through the corner of his eye sighing into your punch as you twirl your pinky finger along the glass.

“You know I think you came with the wrong girl.” Maddie said, breaking Wally from his trance.

“What?”

“Ever since she walked into the room you can’t stop staring at her. It’s clear that you like her. Wally we came as friends, if you want to go ask her to dance it’s not going to hurt my feelings.”

Wally wiggled Maddie’s arms with humor but the look on his face was anything but.

“It doesn’t matter how I feel about her, she’s made it very clear she’s not interested. Do you know how many times she’s turned me down in the last fifteen years? Way too many times for me to deem her into me.” He stated as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“All I’m saying is that a girl doesn’t wear your jacket to your death date and show up to a dance she’s never once wanted to go to unless she’s at least a little bit interested.”

“Or something like that.” Wally replied back before smacking his happy go lucky façade back on attempting to teach Maddie his moonwalk moves.

———————

Y/N POV

That’s when you heard it, your song.

“And this one was requested by that weird kid, you know who you are. Next time put on a tie.” The dj said dramatically in the annoying voice only dj’s are allowed to talk in.

“(I’ve Had) The Time of My Life” begins to vibrate through the gym as Maddie Nears comes to stand next to you.

“I had Simon request the song for you.” Maddie says simply looking off into the distance with you at Wally and the rest of your friends across the room, you had been too busy sulking to sit with them.

“I know it’s kind of your guy’s song.” She continues; “ I figured you two could use a little push.”

You're immediately puzzled. “How did you-“

“That dude is absolutely obsessed with you.” She smiled. “Plus when we watched the movie he wouldn’t shut up about the fact that it was your favorite and you guys had spent the last fifteen years memorizing the choreography, it only felt right.”

You gave her a big hug before whispering in her ear “thank you”.

“Now hurry up” she laughed, “This song is only like five minutes long.”

You rolled your eyes at her before making your way across the room. Yes, this was dramatic, and yes it should have embarrassed you, but for once it didn’t. When you finally made it across what felt like an ocean of people you tapped Wally on the shoulder even though he was already looking at you, stretched out your hand and said;

“Nobody puts Baby in a corner”

Wally smiled before shaking his head and grabbed your hand leading to the middle of the dance floor.

It didn’t matter that the song was already halfway over, you started your choreography regardless, laughing the whole way through it. Every part of it felt like a flirtatious inside joke. It made you realize just how much you missed your best friend. You held him as close to you as you could in peaceful silence until he stepped back from you three steps nodding his head. This of course was the best part so you nodded back and started stepping backwards.

As he lovingly put it each time, if you fell you fell. He would always break your fall, you were both dead anyway. However, just like actual Johnny and Baby you had practiced the move in the pool countless times before you got it right. Now despite the time away from the routine you trusted that both of you knew this lift like the back of your hand, and you were not disappointed when you got a running head start into your jump and were caught gracefully by a strong set of arms.

When Wally placed you down onto the ground again he smiled, pulling you as close as humanly possible.

“You know, I always thought the point of us learning this dance was so we could pull it out at every school function and show all these other losers who’s who.” He laughed clearly, making a joke out of the unspoken.

“They can’t see us anyway” You smirked, resting your arms around his shoulders. “But you're right, I’m sorry it took me this long to come to the dance with you.”

“Sweetheart, have you already forgotten? Maddie is my date to dance.” He smiled, lovingly pushing you away before grabbing you again as fast as he could.

“But I can give you the next best thing,” he said, looking down at you. “Be my date next year?”

“I can do you one better,” You smiled. “Go to prom with me?”

“I don’t knowwwww darling, might bring down my popularity to go to the prom with a chaperone.”

“Hey Wally?” You boink him very lightly on the nose. “Can you shut up so we can make out already?”

You didn’t have to tell him twice. His mouth was on yours in less time than you had to take a breath. Immediately you feel like you need to breathe but if lack of oxygen is your only problem right now then you’ll gladly take it.

His arms moved from rubbing up and down your arms to slowly being snaked around your waist pulling you in tight. You stayed wrapped up in his musky scent for what felt like eternity. You felt his hands slowly start to migrate south when you hear a low whistle from behind you.

“Alright kids break it up, nobody here wants to watch you two defile each other on top of the snack bar.” Of course Rhonda would be the one to break the two of you up after pawing at each other like cats in heat. But she was right about one thing, you definitely felt like a kid again in the best possible way.

“Haha laugh it up Rhonda, you’re just jealous. I know everyone wants to ride the pony.” He smirked, giving her a joking wink.

“Alright Stallion.” You said patting him on the shoulder. “Time to go.”

“Where are we going?” He asked as he intertwined his fingers with yours.

“The teacher’s lounge.” You said giving him a similar wink he just gave to your friends.

While you tried to catch your breath as he dragged you through the halls at dare you say a record pace, you realized Split River High might not be as bad as you thought

[sailorsenshishitposter]

Itadori Yuji x Reader

⚠️ Spoilers for chapter 257 and also a warning for cannibalism

Itadori Yuji

You enjoy fawning over babies, are a dog person or you have the attention span of a goldfish

First Date:

You were ecstatic. You never would have dreamed that your crush would agree to go out with you. Yuji insisted that the two of you meet up outside the theatre. Something about how he wanted to show you this romance movie? "I don't care as long as I'm with you itadori." You then heard what sounded like someone trying to vomit? "What was that?" Before Yuji could respond he slapped himself. "Are you feeling alright?"

"Just swatting an annoying mosquito. Anyway I'm gonna go grab some popcorn now..." You wondered why Itadori was acting so nervous. "Maybe he's just as excited about this date as I am?" You then made sure your mascara was on fleek and then made your way to the screening. "Great, you made it! It's just about to start!" You sat down while the previews began playing.

You couldn't help but notice how your date was shovelling fists full of popcorn down his throat, almost as if he was eating for two people. "Hungry?" you whispered. You then heard a voice saying "No more brat, this tastes awful!" It was probably just the movie since you two were the only ones in the room. Yuji then gave you a bashful look as he rubbed the back of his head. "I guess I've always had a larger appetite. My grandpa once mentioned something about my uncle eating his twin in the womb?" You were too stunned to speak.

The title of the movie showed up on screen. 'HUMAN EARTHWORM 4'. You cringed. How was this a romance movie? You were starting to fall asleep out of boredom when you heard a voice that was far too deep to belong to Itadori. "Pathetic. This is your attempt at courting a woman? Back in the Heian era I would-" There was a loud clap that was enough to fully wake you up. "What happened Itadori?"

Yuji was now sweating bullets. "Oh, You fell asleep? Is the movie not to your liking? We can always do something else if you want." Why did your date have to be so sweet? "No, it's fine. I suppose I'm just tired." The movie soon ended and the two of you decided to get something to eat. You then stopped at the local KFC. Yuji sat down while you went to order. You then returned to see him with a strange look on his face. "What's the matter?"

"I think I just saw my teacher? No wait, maybe it wasn't him? But then again who else has white hair in Tokyo? Anyway, I think this girl in blue robes dumped him or something? He just started crying. Look, he's still there!" You cast your gaze down the street. Itadori was right. There was a man sobbing on the ground while slamming his fist into the concrete. "SUGURU, WWWWHHHHHYYYYYYYY?????? PLEASE I NEED YOU!!"

You turned away. How embarrassing. You were just glad that he wasn't your date. "Hey, the foods getting cold. Let's eat!" The two of you then began to feed each other chicken tenders. You were so lovestruck that you failed to notice the burnt piece you had picked up. If anything it resembled a claw made out of hot dogs more than fried chicken. You put it to Yuji's lips and watched him swallow it whole.

Somethings wrong. Why was your date convulsing all of a sudden? "I swear if they gave you food poison!" You then noticed black markings appear on Itadori's skin. "What the hell-" You were then cut off before you could finish speaking. Literally. Next thing you knew, you were being cut apart into tiny meat cubes. Your date then took a slice of human meat, savoring the flavour. He then started tasting the blood on his fingers. "I guess that's why they call it finger licking good!"

[dinoartistry]

How I got these results on my finals without spending hours stu"dying" at my desk.

Now that finals season is over, we almost all recieved our grades and results.

However, sometimes you don't get the results you wanted despite studying for hours and hours on end. It's frustrating and discouraging, right?

Here are my tips on how to get better grades without having to spend all of your free time at your desk! ↓

NB: That doesn't mean that you should stop studying entirely.

Also this is a really long post but you can of course just read the tips that interest you!

1. Be attentive in class. I know it's tempting to just sit down and chat with your friends or stay on your phone, because class can be really boring. However, paying attention to what your teacher says and taking note of everything that might sound useful is a huge step in getting better grades.

Your note-taking doesn't have to be aesthetic. At the beginning of the year I wasted a lot of time making my notes pretty in class, and that made me lose a lot of precious information. You can always rewrite your notes in an aesthetic way later! Re-writing is a great study method too, so it's a win-win. To give you an example, here are the history and theatre history notes I take in class:

They're ugly. And that's okay! If I could score 35 and 50 respectively with these, so can you.

2. Be active in class. Of course, most of the time just listening isn't enough. You need to participate. Teacher asks a question? Raise your hand!

Now, you might be thinking "but what if I don't have the right answer and say something false? Everyone will make fun of me", and to that I will answer, who cares? They're not trying. You're making efforts to absorb the material, they're just sitting there and laughing because they're insecure about their own answers. I'm not making fun of them by saying this, it's just a fact.

3. Ask questions. Just, a bunch of them. If you don't understand the material, or have doubts, ask your teacher! They're not your enemy, even if they might sound dismissive. This year for example, I had a physics teacher who was a PAIN in class. He talked through the lesson super quickly and never really explained anything to anyone. However, there was one time where I didn't understand the material at all, and I went to talk to him. And he took time (like 20 minutes!) to re-explain to me what I hadn't understood.

Teachers are here to help you. Take advantage of it.

4. Research research research! By that I mean, go further! For example, in French class I had to read a book that talked about the genocide in Rwanda. But it was told through a child's eyes, so didn't really talk about what exactly was going on. So, I took it upon myself to take some time to make my own research about it. And guess what? Talking about it improved my grade on that project. In history, make sure you understand the causes and consequences of the historical events you study in class. "Why did it happen?" and "What was its impact on society?" are two questions you must be able to answer at the end of the day.

5. Understand how. This is maths-specific. Take this simple question about arithmetic sequences:

If the first term of a sequence (a1) is 2 and the common difference (d) is 5, what will be the 7th term (an) of that sequence?

It's not enough to know that the result is 32 because that's the answer you got in class. You need to understand the steps you use to get to the result.

Here for example, the formula is:

an = a1 + (n-1) . d

So, here:

a1 = 2, n = 7, d = 5.

The equation becomes :

an = 2 + (7 - 1) . 5

It's now simply a matter of method! 7-1 comes first, so you're left with:

an = 2 + 6 . 5

Then, the multiplication:

an = 2 + 30

And lastly:

an = 32

It's all a matter of taking the time to do things in the right order, one at a time. Think of it like reading a sentence! You can't just read the words in a random order, right? That wouldn't make sense. Read the words in the right order. Calculate in the right order. It's the same thing, I promise (coming from someone who used to hate maths)!

I really like the exam scene in assassination classroom for that reason. The moment the big monster to slay becomes a simple fish to cut because you know from where to start? That's the goal here.

6. Let go. You don't have to be the best of the best all the time. Putting unnecessary pressure on yourself and beating yourself up for not having full marks is doing the exact opposite of what we want here. You're smart, okay? Stressing yourself out does one thing: it turns your brain to mush, making you incapable of remembering information and will make you lose your means when you're faced with a test or an exam. That's what I did for chemistry this year, because I struggle with it, and would you look at that! I got 28. So let go. It's okay, you got this. ⚝

All in all, you're your own best friend. Take care of yourself. Don't put on yourself a pressure you wouldn't put on others. Being too hard on yourself will only end up hurting you, and we don't want that!

[furryprovocateur]

anyways im going to use you all for an aita story that happened to me yesterday

i went to the movie last night to see Cuckoo (great movie btw). you know how they make you pick your seat in advance? i picked one all the way at the end because that's usually where i sit. i got to my seat and then i took out the shit out of my pocket (wallet, phone, etc.) and put it on the seat next to me because they're like lounge chairs (i drive to the bougie part of town because it's the closest movie theatre) to give myself more leg room. so the previews start and then this elderly couple come in. not like OLD old but like let's say mid 50s at youngest late 60s at oldest. and the woman is counting the seats and then sees me and goes "this is our seat 🙂" with the obvious implication that i need to get up and move. mind you the theatre is relatively packed but there's still seats available elsewhere. so it's like "oh you want me to get up and grab all my shit in the dark and move". so i'm just like "i can move if you want me to" or something along those lines and i start grabbing my shit in the dark and i guess i must've looked pathetic because eventually the woman just goes "we'll just get a seat in the next row" in that way that's like. i could tell she kind of hated me in that moment and saw herself as the aggrieved party meanwhile i'm like. okay i get it otoh especially if you have special accommodations or needs but they were able bodied and seemed to be more upset about the principle of it than anything else and it's also a matter of like who really GIVES a shit about it. like we're not in school sorry teacher's assigned seating doesn't really matter at the end of the day. like is it really that important to you like who actually even gives a shit about what seat they picked because i rarely do. am i the asshole reddit i mean bluesky i mean tumblr.

[verdemoun]

things my "cishet" "neurotypical" 25 year old (has never played a video game in his life) humanities teacher friend has said during his rdr2 playthrough

(dutch going off at bill at the start of revenge is a dish best eaten) well that seemed uncalled for. dutch is. dutch is starting to lose it, huh

visibly upset over having to shoot up the mansion, esp the stained glass windows. loves the double barrel tho.

(dutch going off at bronte) yeah dutch has full lost it. oh! oh! gator! :D DO IT! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

only comment during banking the american art: papa hosea noooooo!!

(the diagnosis) ah yes well he’s dead he’s got consumption

(arthur's walk) why is there a moose in saint denis.

"the hot air balloon! first invented in 1793" (demanded i fact check, he was correct)

oh it's like the wizard of oz! there's no place like blackwater, there's no place like blackwater, there's no place like blackwater.

despite having no reaction to the diagnosis, immediately had tears in his eyes screaming ARTURO NOOOOOO as the funny man died

"mrs adler has the sort of perky butchness i can see you being attracted to"

meeting algernon: don’t you dare fucking say that’s me

five seconds into the intro cut scene: oh no he’s me

micah being on scene for any amount of time: i am dryer than the sahara rn.

i asked him to clarify. he paused. proceeded to refer to which characters made his pussy wet/dry for the rest of the evening. has never made this joke before.

thought abigail was the rat during guarma until seeing dutch muttering chess moves to himself. had decided dutch is very much unhinged and no longer trusts anything dutch says.

no idea who the rat is. does believe there's a rat. thought it was john until i said 'no try again'

bought a theatre ticket and missed most of the show admiring the foyer and guessing what sort of marble it was meant to imitate.

failed to steal the black arabian from the couple in saint denis and sulked because the red arabian is his fav.

spent an hour customizing arthur's outfit. (arthur is hideous pls send help)

spent an additional 20 minutes deciding on a hair style and going through every moustache option only to settle on day 2 stubble.

"i like bill. he might be homophobic and racist and dumb but - i don't know i just think he's neat"

(excitedly) OH I FOUND THE KKK QUICK HOW TO I THROW TNT AGAIN!!

(attempting to dismount a horse) "e for eject"

(getting a low honor dream after killing every single npc in strawberry for funsies) oh no oh no i do not like that how do we fix that

annoyed he can't actually listen to pearson's navy stories

[imsososolesbian]

Show Time

Crystal and Misty x Butch!reader (she/her pronouns used)

No warnings

Summary: You got cast as the male lead and the domino effect happened.

Word Count: 2626

Your friends off of your soccer team had dared you to try out for the school musical. Little did they know, you did like musicals, but that doesn’t mean you wanted to be in one. You had walked into the school's theatre right on time. Your soccer bag was hanging off your shoulder, and you slipped it off, putting it on the floor. You look around the area, spotting an open chair and sitting down, kicking your feet up onto the chair in front of you. 

It was a little over five minutes before the teacher putting the show on came out. You had no clue who it was, but your guess was the drama teacher. You watch as the teacher sits down behind a table, pulling glasses up onto her nose, and tapping lightly on a microphone. 

You shift in your seat slightly, fixing your shirt, making sure it sits right on you. You hadn’t worn your binder today, so it was a little awkward for you right now. The shirt wasn’t tight thankfully, so you didn’t feel like you were being choked. 

A person had come around with different monologues. You didn’t get to pick which you wanted, you were just given one. 

Your eyes scanned the words, taking them all in. It was simple enough. Just two small paragraphs from a play that they did last year you think. You knew that this year it was a musical and not a play this year though. It played in your favour, for you because you could sing.

You watch as people are called up on stage to say their lines, thankfully you could still read off the paper just so you don’t forget what you were saying. 

It was dense, a lot of people. You had been there for over an hour before you were called up on stage. The lights were blinding and burning hot. It was a good feeling but boy did you hate it. You cleared your throat, walking in front of the microphone that was put on the stage. You take a deep breath before speaking into the microphone. Your voice only trembled for a second before you got it under control. 

Your voice was smooth, and calculated. You paused at the right moments, and exaggerated on time. Your face held good emotion throughout, not wiveraing once. You were doing amazing so far. You hardly looked down at your page once, your eyes looking out to the audience. 

You were on stage for only two minutes. You felt good about yourself as you went to sit back down on your chair. Yet after you had sat down is when your nerves started to act up, and you ran a hand through your hair. You hoped there were only a few more people to go, but you were so wrong. It was 4:30 by the time everyone was done. You were so tired.

You had a morning practice for soccer, and Jackie made everyone at lunch practice some more. It was bad. Usually you were fine with long games, but Jackie was bad with practices, especially with big games coming up. The practice at lunch wasn’t even started by your coaches, Jackie had just taken it upon herself to start another practice just in case. 

You missed the last bus that would take you home, and you would usually walk when that happened, but you could hardly feel your legs, and your knees were screaming in pain at this point. You really wished that your parents had let you take their car today but they needed it more, even if both were off. 

The sun was still up in the sky, beating down. You rub at your face as you start walking anyway. It wasn’t fun, but you were stopped halfway through the parking lot by a voice calling out your name. It was Misty… Great, just great, you thought you would only have to talk to her at soccer and no other time. You let out a sigh as you walk over to her. “Misty?” 

She nods and points to a car, “My mom gave me the car today, and I know practice had to have been really hard for you, so I thought it would only be fair to offer you a ride.” 

You rub at your forehead, wanting to say no, but knowing that you’d regret it. “... Had auditions for the school musical, and did great!” Misty had started talking again, but you only caught the last part and looked at her confused. 

You nod though, and before you knew it you were being pulled by your hand over to Misty’s car. You didn’t know she was that strong. Her girp was biting into your skin, but you let it pass, not wanting to upset her. You had seen how she gets when upset and it really concerned you, and you really did not want to get on her bad side. 

The back door of her car was opened and you got in. It felt stuffed, your knees felt like they were up to your chest as you pulled the seat belt over your chest. You could tell a person was sitting in the front seat already, but couldn’t make out who was until she started talking. 

“You did so well at auditions! I was amazed! No guy has anything on you!” The person said, and moved so her face was looking into the back seat at you, and you could make out it was Crystal. You smiled in thanks and nodded your head. 

“You did too. I saw you up there. It was amazing. It was like you were commanding the whole room. No one could take their eyes off of you,” your hands moved widely as you explained to Crystal about how you felt about her performance. 

The ride was okay after that. Misty dropped Crystal off first and you got to sit in the front seat. You and Misty had got to talking, and you figured out that as much as she was messed up she was still somewhat nice. You actually kind of started to like her. It was weird to you. 

By the time you had gotten home all you wanted to do was shower and then crash, which is what you did. You took a fifteen minute shower, got into old pyjamas, quickly dried your hair and got into bed. You were so happy you didn’t have homework tonight. Your head was blank, no thoughts in your head. You were peaceful and got more than enough sleep that night. More sleep than you had in a long time. 

The next day was horrid. Your body had adjusted to all the pain of soccer years ago but your legs still killed. You had woken up late, which was never a good sign for you. It meant that you were most certainly going to be late to school. 

You had skipped breakfast, grabbing just a granola bar. You had been able to brush your teeth and hair, along with getting changed before you started running. You couldn’t see the bus yet, which was good and by the time you got to your bus stop you could see it rounding the corner to pick you up, and you let out a sigh of relief. 

When you had walked through the doors of school, a bunch of the girls on the soccer team swarmed you. Throwing you into the middle of a group hug. You had just stood there confused as they continued to hug you. 

“What got you guys so happy?”

You weren’t given a real answer, but you were tugged through the hallways, to the theatre. There was no one crowding the doors where the call back list was posted. In big red letters, next to the name Aaron was your name. You were surprised, you were getting a call back for the lead male? You were left speechless. You couldn’t believe what you were looking at. You didn’t think you’d be considered for the male lead. 

The day after that was a whirlwind. You don’t remember anything other than you going to the call back. This time around you were reading actual lines from the musical. You once again felt like you did amazing. You stood up tall on the stage and read your lines with great power to your voice. You were also the only one in the room for call backs. 

It was a few days before the cast list was posted. It was going to be posted at the end of the day, so you were on the edge of your seat the whole time. You didn’t like it, you felt anxious. 

You had walked through the halls, a blank look on your face. It was like you were in a completely different state of mind than you normally were. The whole time you were moving your body. You couldn’t stay still. Your knee was bouncing when you were sitting down and you would fiddle with your hands whenever you were standing up.

The time had come and the list was posted. You waited till the halls cleared and walked to the theatre. Once it was in view you held your breath walking up to the doors. Your eyes scanned the list until you saw your name right next to Aaron. You got the lead. You wanted to cry but stopped yourself. You scanned the rest of the list, Crystal was Cady, you were really happy for her. 

The next week was everyone getting to know each other, or getting to know each other better. Along with looking deeper into who each character was. You enjoyed it. You got to write paragraphs on how Aaron acted and his wishes. You then also had a chemistry reading with the girl playing Regina and Crystal. Everything was going great. 

You loved the process, it was thrilling. You had also learned, after Misty said she’d drive you home in her mom’s car when you needed one. She told you she was stage manager, and also in charge of fashion. You didn’t know she liked fashion, seeing as she wasn’t too fashionable in your eyes. 

The next months leading up to the musical you, Crystal and Misty hung out a lot more. You had let Misty test out outfits on you for Aaron in the privacy of one of the three of your houses. She would also watch you and Crystal act out sense and pumped the two of you up. You actually really started liking her.

You found yourself wanting to be the two everyday. You had started going to school earlier, even if it meant walking. You’d hang out with the two before having to go to class.

One day when Misty was dropping you off, you leaned over the centre console and kissed her. You froze, looking over at her, “I’m so sorry,” you had fear in your eyes, and she just shrugged.

“It was nice. Thanks.” 

You look at Misty stunned. You didn’t know she’d be that chill with it. Yet you were embarrassed that you had just got out of the car and ran up to your house. And had cried somewhat in the hall once the door was closed. 

The next few days were hellish for you. It was Crystal who forced you to talk to Misty because she was getting annoyed that your little ‘fight’ was making it so you and Crystal weren’t doing good for practice anymore. It was different without Misty and she didn’t like it, and nor did you.

So you and Misty talked. It was long and hard but the two of you came out dating.

The two of you dating was amazing! But it wasn’t amazing when you and Crystal got to the part of the script where the two of you would have to kiss. You could tell that Misty didn’t like the idea, because whenever the part would happen she’d look away, but she still let you do it. 

Even if you were dating Misty now, you also had been finding yourself falling for Crystal. You didn’t mean to but it was hard. She was nice, funny, and so talented it was insane. 

You knew you had to bring it up to Misty. You had waited for the right time, and it came one night when the three of you were at Misty’s and Crystal was asleep. You and Misty were down in her kitchen, you were leaning against the kitchen counter as Misty made the two of you a drink. 

“Hey Misty… I think I like someone else? But at the same time I also really like you. And I don’t know what to do. I want to be with you but I also like this person and I really don’t know what to do at all and I’m really sca-” you got cut off by Misty wrapping her arms around your waist, and pulling you close to her. 

“Let me guess. It’s Crystal right? I mean you look at her like she hung the stars or something,” Misty murmurs out, looking up into your eyes.

“I do yeah. I’m really sorry, Misty. It’s hard not to like her. Just like how it was hard not to like you.” 

Misty laughs and shakes her head, a smile on her face, “I may not like it too much, but I must agree with you. She is hard not to like. I’ll be honest I’ve had a huge crush on her too, until I got with you that is. But seeing the two of you kiss kinda made my crush on her come back but in full force.”

“We’re both fucked, aren’t we?” You ask as you lean your head down on her shoulder, closing your eyes.

“What are you guys talking about?” You look over, your head still on Misty’s shoulder and make eye contact with Crystal. 

“My bad use of my binder?” You lie, but she gives you a look, like she knows you are lying, and Misty just shakes her head. 

“She’s pulling your leg. We’re talking about you” Misty piped up and you wanted to hit her on the arm, but didn’t because you were too comfortable in her arms. 

“Why?” 

You couldn’t look at Crystal anymore, you had turned your head back forwards. You could hear the two talk, but couldn’t focus on what they were saying because you were scared. You were even more scared when Misty let go of you and walked over to Crystal and you saw them kiss. You felt a little hurt but then Crystal and Misty came back over to you.

Crystal smiled at you, “So, we all like each other,” she had said, snapping you out of your daze, and all you can do is nod. 

“Then can I kiss you?” You looked at Crystal in aw, but find your voice and speak up.

“Yeah.”

And that’s just what she does. She kisses you. You feel like you're on cloud nine. In the spawn of two months you’ve kissed two pretty girls. 

The rest of the time from there on out, Misty, Crystal and you dated. It was amazing. What was more amazing was you were able to act alongside your girlfriend in a musical where you were her character's love interest. And Misty made sure the two of you had the best costumes.

Your last performance was magical because after that the three of you went out on a date, and had an amazing night. 

The three of you were so happy together. You were never more grateful for Mean Girls the musical before in your life.

[anteroom-of-death]

Teacher's Pet part 10

Synopsis: Game is preserved by game. And what games can one play? What about rewards? Our two lovers share some special moments.

A/n: Hey bitches, guess who's back from mental health crisis! Meeee. I love you all and sorry for the inconvenience and lateness!!! Slammed this one out. Quickly. Before the madness leaves me. Yall the best. Thanks

Oh, that man, you thought as you trolled the shops. Furiously as you slid the hangers across. The sound of metal slightly shrieking put you on edge. If you had been not just a post-marriage thing, but the next in a long line of so-called ‘assistants’ or ‘companions’, then you’d be the best damn one he’d ever have.

He wanted to play like he was human, play house with you. Something he never did before, he told you. There was a comfort and a ring of truth in those words. A lie? You felt yourself question. Or was he actually just telling the truth?

Maybe alien men weren’t total pigs like human men…you reasoned with yourself.

So many thoughts were swimming in your mind.

You angrily scooped up a few dresses and made your way to the changing room.

You chose a black number, slightly strappy, mid-length and a lower square neckline. You brought a little cardigan and it would match perfectly. The way the skirt flared gently but still held some grip to your thighs was excellent at providing some semblance of elegance. It hit at your knee, classy.

Now onto shoes…

You got a message from your Doctor, you headed to a café.

It was all very nice. Trite, but felt authentic. His long fingers carding through your hair felt lovely. It felt like a return to what you had back in Bristol. Your mind was calm, placid and you felt a bit better about the whole damn thing.

Like your walls were removed.

Sooner or later, you had to get ready and then the ebb of dark thoughts came back in tiny waves. You got frustrated and just started patting on a thick layer of glitter, and maybe a tad bit too much highlighter cream on.

You caught your reflection in the mirror. You looked manic. Beautiful, but oh-so-fucking-crazy. You toned down things just a tad.

Just a tad, you still wanted to be breathtaking…

You went back and leaned on the bed and caught your breath. You did your breathing exercises and collected yourself and gave one final check in the reflection of the metal of the barrack wall.

Once joining him, the nerves subsided. You mentally wondered if he had some pheromones or something like that. It felt good, though, safe.

The evening began and you went out with nary a hitch.

He took you to see some contrived show about the nature of social media and the ephemeral nature of family. (And murder!) You tried to enjoy it, you really did, but in the dark of the theatre, his face pale enough to reflect the stage light and the fact you could feel an electric current running through the two of you as you leaned in or lightly touched, your mind went slightly south.

The man was too attractive for your own good. And your lack of attention span was driving you to look at his face most of the time.

Thankfully, the play ended.

Performers came out to bow, lights went up and you were ushered out.

He even treated you to a bit of a romantic dinner. Although, he did grumble about there not being a children’s menu.

Almost very human.

You let your entire guard down.

It was impossible to not.

This entire day was disarming. More disarming than yesterday!

Your conflicted feelings fell away more and more. Outside of little trips to London for this whole UNIT thing, you could go back to Bristol. Go back to being (y/n) and Professor Smith. Build something real. Build something tangible.

You loaded yourselves into a cab back to the UNIT head quarters. His hands were also distractions. They felt so cruelly good inside or on you. They were also emotive and caring. Creatures in their own rights.

Suddenly, you felt very brave and extra insane.

You wanted them inside you in this very cab. And damn it! You were going to get your way!

You grabbed one of his hands and placed it on your right thigh, and leaned in to his ear, your other hand lightly toying with his hair.

“Fuck me with your fingers. Here, now.” You whispered, your voice going slightly husky.

He looked at you, a severe look passed and faded before he let out a slight laugh. Soft, but with a hint of something behind it.

“Now, my fawn?” Slightly shocked, but a Cheshire grin came out.

“Right now.” You ordered gently, the whisper came out a more a huff of air than a spoken set of words.

“One moment.” He said, reaching into the breast pocket of his jacket. He grabbed something and pressed a button on it. It let a little noise.

“What is that?”

“Screwdriver, it’ll give us privacy. More or less.”

You nodded, a slightly slack-jawed, “Ah.” Escaped your mouth. “Some screwdriver.”

“You don’t even understand the half of it.” He said, as he leaned in to kiss your jaw and placed on hand at the hollow of your throat.

When he finally worked his way to your pussy, he slid with a finger your panties over.

“Already so soaked? Good girl…” He cheesed.

It made your head roll back. In your moment of ballsy control, he somehow made himself the one in charge. A mental flip over…

And you didn’t particularly mind.

Damn him.

You felt that deft long middle finger find your clit. His index and ring finger found themselves in the middle of your folds. You rolled your hips over and your legs parted a little bit more against the fabric of your dress. The circular motions of the finger on your clit driving you a little bit crazy…

You braced yourself against the seat of the cab.

He scooped his fingers down deep into you, pressing deep onto the walls. He kissed you and bit gently at your chin.

You moaned into the top of his mouth.

His long hands had the benefit of him being able to continue his motions on your clit and he stroked the lowest part of your pussy with his pinky finger.

The other three worked you senseless.

“You’re so filthy.” He praised you. The ‘r’ in ‘you’re’ drilled inwards.

Your stomach fluttered and flipped around.

You let out a grunting heave. Your hands firmly around his body and gripping the back of the seat. He worked his way against your walls more. Penetrating deeper, still.

Unfortunately for you, the big stupid tower that UNIT had was approaching in the foreground.

He grazed your chest with his teeth and pulled out of you. He took out the screwdriver and it made that noise again.

He paid the driver and pulled you out.

“Now, you be good and quiet through the hallways and I’ll give you what you want.” He ordered you.

You nearly flailed out.

There were still staff and soldiers milling about, as you went towards the lift, some even approached him with questions.

You were still wet and dreadfully turned-on! And twitchy. It seemed painfully unfair, he wound you up just enough to make you literally insane!

You needed him to fuck you.

You could literally feel the absence of his fingers inside you. Like a gaping wound.

Cruel.

The seconds dragged on for what seemed like years. These underlings of his really could drag themselves on! It was wholly unfair. The several Cocktails with St Germaine and Vodka and the level of lust hazing your vision and your orders to be quiet. You wanted to beg him to finish fucking you.

Soon enough you were in the stupid barracks.

“Strip.” He ordered plainly, unbuckling his pants and pulling down his pants and his underwear. His cock already standing at full attention.

You shimmied out of your dress and underwear.

“Kneel.”

You kneeled.

“You’ll get my hands in you if you do good here. I know you will.” His tone was somewhere between an order and a negotiable thoughtfulness. With a tad bit of praise wrapped in.

You really needed him to get you off. It was up there in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. ‘Get the Doctor’s fingers inside of you.’

So you obeyed.

You scooted forward and wrapped your hands around his ass and opened your mouth. You cracked your neck and inhaled. You pressed your tongue down on over your lower teeth and wrapped your upper lip over your top teeth. You slicked your tongue out just a bit more as you worked your way down his shaft.

He stabilized himself in your hair and the base of your neck, guiding you down deeper. He was fully inside your mouth. Gently, but still, he helped you go up and down as you continued to go down on him. A symbiotic, well-oiled machine. He guided you down and you licked and applied pressure.

All while you were still aching. All the need for him intensifying as you just kept clenching your thighs together. As if that’d stop the sensation of want…

This little trade-off was driving you mad!

You licked his entire shaft, swirling your tongue as you both continued the motions. Edging him with the hot breath coming out onto his tip, you clasped a tighter grip on his ass. You slipped down and went to purse your lips around the base…

He pulled himself out of your mouth.

“I’m going to finger you, as you want. Then…’ He said, pulling you up and shoving you onto the bed, flourishing his fingers…”I want to cum inside your mouth later.”

He pushed apart your legs and gave a deep lick to your cunt. Hard, quick, and lingering around.

He was insane! This was the most aggressive he’d ever been with you sexually. He braced himself on the bed frame and peered deep into your eyes as he maneuvered his other arm, and hand, down inside of you. You let out a giant tremble as he lay over you, dragging out the heavy petting and large sweeps inside you.

You gulped.

He somehow managed to get a few fingers inside you, probably because you were so soaked, and you were so nervous and eager to please. Or he was rather good with his fingers.

He played guitar.

Maybe that was why…

Your mind wandered gently away and you wanted to ask him to play for you…

You were so close. The waiting in the halls and him making you service him, really was a dangerous cocktail. A torture device, well fit for whatever this paramilitary organization had in their arsenals…

And here he was, fingers engulfed in your wet heat.

Suddenly you felt a shattering static, and the intoxicating waves of an orgasm and alcohol teamed up against you. You swore you could feel your vision somewhat fading around the edges. You felt rapidly breathless and were slow-blinking away from your orgasm waving through you.

The old man pulled his way up and gently pulled you down. You met halfway between the two.

“Open wide, sweetheart.” He cooed as he gripped his cock, jerking it. “Get that sharp tongue out. Don’t be shy, fawn.” It came out a velvet-wrapped order.

And yet again, you obeyed his orders to the mark!

Warm and salty, he came onto your tongue and tapped himself dry on your tongue.

You never liked the taste of cum, but you swallowed it, you figured that alien cum wasn’t as bad as human cum.

You tried to not gag…

He saw you balking at the taste and pet your hair.

“So good for me…you’re perfect, aren’t you?”

You nodded your head in affirmation.

He leaned down and kissed your forehead.

After a moment or two in just a lock up, you decided to shower. He joined you, simple, clean fun. Oddly sexless.

The morning came and you woke without a startle for the first time in what felt like your entire life. His one arm was wrapped around you, the feeling of his odd, two-hearted beating thrumming along. Like a white noise machine. His chest was pressed in earnest against your back.

It was the first time you’ve slept with a man, like truly, in the most simple description in years. It felt wonderful.

You didn’t know what time it was, your phone was still in your purse and the room lacked a clock, as far as you could tell. It was also windowless.

You managed to wriggle your way out to go to the bathroom and checked. It was half-eleven. He began to stir.

“Hey, go back to sleep.” You walked over and swooped a bit of his hair to the side. “I’ll go for a quick walk, I’ll be soon.” He rolled over and nodded.

You went out to check your phone, go outside and have a smoke, and prowl about. The hallways were milling with people and soldiers, busy.

You exited and lit up, Petronella was approaching the entrance.

“Hey, I know the perfect place for a brunch.” She exclaimed, clearly happy about the chance encounter.

You quickly dropped your cigarette and exhaled away from her face, remembering her asthma.

After a quick exchange you made your way back up to the barrack. He was fiddling around with some device. You’d like to think he changed his focus the minute he noticed that you entered, but it was a few seconds and he kept running his fingers and a real screwdriver on some screws as he went to look at you.

“So I was thinking that you and I could go to brunch.” You launched the idea. “Could be fun. Way better than a trip to Starbucks.” You added on.

“I could eat.” He announced.

The process to get you both out the door was a bit tough. As you kept find yourselves simply unable to keep your hands to yourselves. He was incorrigible!

But you did it anyway.

It was nice, Petronella came in clutch for you. It wasn’t a place catering to the yummy mummy crowd, nor the drunk hipster crowd. Very cozy. The seats were lush and you got a cozy, semi-cramped corner booth. All coiled up together…

You downed your first Bellini and your dishes were coming out.

You kept yourself from blurting out something.

The second Bellini pried it out.

“So tell me about these past companions…” You finally dropped as you sopped up a bit of oil with a piece of bread, you didn’t need to be completely sloshed yet.

He let out of derisive snort.

“I ran away with my granddaughter from my home planet. She encouraged me to pick up traveling companions when she married an Earthling. It’s been a cycle ever since. Although. I did give up after the last one. Especially after all my memories of her returned…no more companions. No more travel. Rehabilitate my ex-partner from my school days until she’s sane and no longer wants to take over the cosmos and kill off anyone. Catch and release. Teach on Earth until the planet meets it’s fire-y end.” He explained it all so nonchalantly. Boiled down. Reductive.

You nodded along and took a sip of his coffee.

“Never expected you, but, you’re my jealous little secret.” A dark, yet warm grim blazed across his face.

“And….how many….have you slept with?” You circled your pinky around the top of his glass.

“A few, rarely. I’m rather…adverse to sexuality usually. Sometimes it’s the right body and right time. Last one was this woman named Clara, we rubbed off on each other so poorly. She became too like me and I her, she died and I lost my mind, finally in the position I’ve left so many in. Four point five billion years inside of a hell of my creation to try to save her. In the end, my memory was wiped. It was brought back thanks to the ex-partner. You should meet her. One day. Missy is…Missy.” It seemed like his honesty had some subversion but still rang true.

“It’s a huge catalyst for why I’m retired from my endeavors. I’ll help UNIT out, but I need to find some peace. I’m an old man. I deserve a bit of rest.”

“Four point five billion years old.” You nodded, eyes bugged out of your head. “How’d that even work?”

“Oh, my ship is a time machine. She’s the big thing that’s covered in cloth in my office near my windows. She’s a Type-40 TARDIS. But because Clara rejected her resurrection, so to speak, the years snapped back. I’m only two thousand, as I said the other night!”

And here you were feeling slightly insane over thinking him in his sixties previously in the last week…

You scooped your hair put of your own face.

“Can’t fault you for wanting a break. I’m exhausted and I’m virtually just starting out in life. Can’t imagine living that long…” You gave a long hard stare into the distance…

You definitely couldn’t fault him there, having lovers. Or being too jealous. He was so...old…there was no way around it.

You especially couldn’t be worked up over his body count. You probably matched each other in some ways.

That was a lot of unpacking and decentering you had to do.

Your learning was never really done.

After all, you stop learning, you stop living…

“Any more inquiries?” He seemed to be jokingly prodding.

“Just don’t take me…off planet or back in time. Especially back in time.” You pointed to your face as if it were the obvious reason why that wouldn’t work.

“I never intend to.” He promised.

“Good.”

You finished up and made you way out, you took a walk around a park for a while, arms joined together.

It was nice. Like something in your life had finally clicked into place. Safety, potentially love, awareness…all that trite shit.

You couldn’t shake some feelings nor the sensation in your brain that something may be up.

But that was for future (y/n) to deal with. Today was just about relaxing with your man. Being normal. Finally getting something normal.

Maybe you both were being rewarded here.

[katies-anonymous-post-box]

ok so idk if this is “weird” enough to go on this blog, or if I should have asked it on your main, but I’ve been rotating a heathers x kotlc crossover in my brain for a while and decided I’d share it with you, tumblr’s resident bookworm theatre kid.

what I have so far - Sophie as Veronica, keefe could be jd (rip sokeefe), I think that Biana could be Heather macnamara bc though she started out as sort of a “mean girl” type character, she’s developed a lot since her introduction. Stina could work as Duke or Chandler, I think, though I’m leaning towards Duke bc she’s starting to get a bit of a redemption arc. I really don’t know about anyone else tho????? (Maybe dame alone could be the teacher bc they’re both annoying educators (well I guess not anymore for Alina but still) but I genuinely don’t know past that)

ok the most insane thing about this is that I have Dead Girl Walking (Reprise) AND Seventeen on my sokeefe all moods playlist. They're like....slightly healthier JD/Veronica. BIANA AS MCNAMARA!! I would do Stina as Chandler, Maruca as Duke, and Biana as McNamara. marella as martha perhaps? or dex? I see where you're going here anon....