#and hyena laugh when he pranks his kids

[2knightt]

The boys reactions if you asked to do their makeup?

the gangs reactions to you wanting to do their makeup!

!warnings!

1.fem!reader

2.mentions of putting concealer and foundation on, so like just imagine you bought ones that match them lol

3.swearing and minor violence at the end.

Johnny Cade ;

“johnnycakes, would you let me do your makeup?”

you said looking at your boyfriend sitting on your bed as you did your own makeup at your vanity.

“h-huh? like..on me?”

“yes johnny, on you.”

johnny wanted to object he really did but when you just stared at him he got nervous.

he just nodded his head yes because he didn’t want to disappoint you.

so you smiled as wide as you could and shot up out of your seat.

“really?! you’d let me?”

“huh uh…”

“EEK! well, sit down!!”

johnny sighs as he makes his way over to the chair.

johnny didn’t know what you were gonna do to him!

well, he did have an idea. he watches you do your makeup so often that he’s memorized your routine.

he has to admit, he was scared at first, but when you started to do his makeup he immediately relaxed.

johnny didn’t know you doing his makeup could be this relaxing.

he almost fell asleep!

johnny’s scared of the eyelash curler. he doesn’t like how close it is to his eye.

when you’re finished and you show him the finished product, he can’t help but look at himself at all angles!

“so? did i do good?”

“yeah, real good.”

Dallas Winston ;

only way you’re gonna do his makeup is if you have pity points!

if he forgot something special or you guys just finished settling an argument and he feels bad? you just got yourself dallas winston pity points!

put ‘em to good use.

but if you’re askin’ to do his makeup, i think you are!

“dal..?”

“yea?”

“can i do your makeup?”

expect him to slowly turn his head towards you with shock and disgust.

he has dignity!! he’s a cool tuff grease, what makes you think he’s gonna put ANY sort of makeup on??

“no.”

“well, do you remember the time that you got mad at me for like no reason? you still gotta make it up to me..”

“FINE. i’ll let you do my makeup. just don’t bring that up again.”

you smile as you grab your makeup bag while dallas groans.

if you have one of those cute lil headbands with animal ears on them please put them on him?? it’d be so funny??

“y/n are you fucking kidding me?”

“what do you mean dal? you look so cute!”

dallas has ZERO clue on what you do for makeup.

he doesn’t even know what concealer is.

when your finished he just blankly stares into the mirror while you laugh your ass off.

“this isn’t funny.”

“no-no you’re absolutely right! i-it’s just the fact that thee dallas winston is wearing makeup!”

Ponyboy Curtis ;

“gee, pony. im realll bored..”

when you started anything with ‘gee’ ponyboy knew you were gonna suggest something stupid.

“*sigh* what do you want to do, y/n?”

“you should let me do your makeup!”

ponyboy scrunched his face up at the idea, but the longer he thought about it, the more okay he was.

“okay, just don’t make it wear it out in public as some cruel prank.”

“i would never!”

ponyboy would also be another one to find you doing his makeup relaxing.

he doesn’t close his eyes though, he’s too busy asking and trying to guess what you do with everything.

“oh! what’s that for? is it to like…pluck my eyebrows?”

“no pony, it’s to curl your lashes.”

“what.”

he thinks you beating his face with a beauty blender is ticklish.

“stop moving!! im trying to blend out the foundation!!”

“it ain’t my fault it tickles!”

but when you’re done he definitely forgets it’s on and goes into the living room with the gang in there.

“WOAHHH WHAT’S ON YOUR FACE PONY?”

“you got something to tell us, kid?”

“OH SH-“

and now he’s running to his room to tell you to take it off as you hear the gang laughing like hyenas in the other room.

“y/n, y/n please take this off. i need to go get a pepsi.”

Sodapop Curtis ;

he is absolutely for the idea of you doing makeup on him!

when you asked him he smiled so bright, you could’ve sworn you looked right into the sun!

“love…you should like, let me do your makeup.”

“yeah!! let’s do it!!”

when you get your makeup out, expect him to be touching everything.

the second you put something down, it’s already in his hands.

“ew, why is it sticky?!”

“cause it’s a primer, babe. it’s supposed to be sticky.”

he puts you on his lap while you do his makeup so, ‘you can see better.’

yeah right.

so the whole time while you’re doing his makeup he has his hands around your waist with his eyes closed.

OH MY GOD PLEASE LET HIM PICK THE EYESHADOW COLOUR.

he may pick ugly colours that totally clash, but it’ll make him happy.

“uhh, oh! i like this red and…that purple!”

“…seriously?”

if you put lipstick on him, expect him to try to be kissing you all the time.

“soda!! stop tryin’ to kiss me, i’m trying to put the makeup away!”

“aweee, y/n doesn’t want my kisses…??”

let him have at least one and he’ll feel better.

he DEFINITELY keeps it on all day.

“what the fuck are you wearing?”

“you don’t like it stevey wevey?🥺”

he says while making duck lips in steves direction.

Darry Curtis ;

you have to ask when he’s tired.

because when he’s with you and tired, he’ll let anything you do slide.

so while he’s sitting on his chair with his head thrown back after ponyboy and soda are sleep, it’s the best time to ask.

“hey darry?”

“..yea?”

“since you ain’t doing much, can i..do your makeup?”

his eyebrows immediately tighten at the thought, but after 10 seconds he realizes theres no use in putting up a fight.

“sure doll. just be quick.”

and on that que, you’re rushing to get everything you need!

i don’t see darry liking the feeling of makeup, so this does infact have to be a speedy process.

he doesn’t ask what anything is, he trusts you enough to know what you’re doing.

he does not let you ANYWHERE near his eyes though, it freaks him out too much. but if you’re dead set on doing full glam, expect a long conversation of trying to convince him.

“do you really have to?”

“yes darry, eyeshadow and mascara is the KEY to any makeup look! especially with these pretty browns you have!”

when your done he’ll go look in the bathroom mirror and laugh a little before he asks for you to take it off.

if you’re feeling a little silly funny and goofy, do not take the lipstick off. let it stay there and pray it stays on ‘till the morning.

and if it does? you and the gang will have a field day oh my god.

“wow, super man! what do you do at night?”

“..what?”

“JESUS CHRIST DARRY, WHY DO YOU HAVE LIPSTICK ON?”

“…WHAT?!”

Steve Randle ;

unlike his best friend, steve isn’t one for makeup.

he’s ‘too tuff for any of that!’

bullshit!

all you gotta do is twirl your pretty hair and flutter those lashes and he’ll do it.

“aw, c’mon steve! it won’t be too long..”

“fine. but speak of this to anyone and i’ll tell them about last tuesday.”

and that’s how you got steve to sit down all nice and pretty to do his makeup!

he stares at you while you do his makeup.

he doesn’t have a goddamn clue what’s going on.

he barely understands foundation, so please be patient. he will ask what everything does too.

“whats that do?”

“this is blush steve, can’t have you lookin’ like a ghost.”

another one that picks out the eyeshadow colour, expect he actually picks good colours.

he is very aware of the what colours clash and what doesn’t, and he cannot be looking like a clown around you.

“pick which colours!”

“the cream and this blue.”

he is very nervous about the mascara, very.

but once you do one eye, he’ll even blink to help you!

when you’re done he thinks you did a great job!

he might even go terrorize sodapop for the jokes.

“don’t ya think i look pretttttyyy mr.curtis?”

“steve, get out of my house and never come back.”

Two-bit Matthews ;

he isn’t new to makeup in any shape or form.

so if you ask him to do his makeup, he’ll nod his head real aggressively.

“babyy…you should let me do your makeup.”

“i thought you’d never ask!”

his little sister has definitely put makeup on him before, but like, only kiddie makeup.

so when he seen the makeup you had?? he was astonished to say the least.

“woahh! you have actual eyeshadow, and real blush!”

he will sit there looking pretty, kicking his feet as you apply the highlighter to his face.

he licks off the lipstick as soon as you put it on.

he doesn’t mean too! he’s used to his little sisters chapstick that tastes like cherries.

when you’re finished his look, he WILL keep it on with pride.

he doesn’t care.

“two-bit, are you fucking serious.”

“yes i am. my wonderful girlfriend put it on, isn’t she just the sweetest?”

“…”

“I SAID, isn’t she just the sweetest.”

and now he’s a man with makeup, holding a switchblade, threatening someone to call his girlfriend sweet.

author notes ;

1. I LOVE GETTING REQUESTS SO MUCH PLEASEEE KEEP THEM COMING??

2.also, I HAVE 42 FOLLOWERS NOW??? I STARTED NOT EVEN 3 WEEKS AGO???

taglist-ish LMFAO:

@diorgirl444 - i remember you asked to be tagged..TELL ME IF U DONT LOL🙏

may 14th, 2023.

[writergirl3]

4 Town Crushing On You

Let's start with the more romantic, reader-based headcanons! Not proofread, but don't hold that against me. I'll do some dating ones after this, but enjoy these for now 🧡

Robaire

Robaire’s pretty experienced when it comes to relationships and stuff, so he handles his crush on you pretty well. Too well. While he’s charming, he holds his cards close to his chest.

He doesn’t get flustered very easily, so don’t bother looking for any kind of blushes of stammering. He’ll always compliment you, sometimes in French, and his eyes linger on you just a bit longer than they do with other people.

The main problem Robaire finds when crushing on you is deciding whether or not to act on it. He likes you, yes, but he’s also got so many other responsibilities in his life and he wonders if there are enough hours in his day for a relationship. Yet, he can’t face the possibility of missing out on being with you.

You actually inspired him to write Nobody Like U. He was having a writing session with Jesse, who quickly put two and two together and asked Robaire if you were his crush. That sparked on a long heart-to-heart, and Jesse eventually persuaded Robaire to take a shot.

Considering the fact that you inspired 4 Town’s biggest hit to date, Robaire wanted to incorporate it into his confession. He mailed the CD to your house before it went out on sale (he did get in trouble with management, but you’re worth it). After listening to it, you read the note tucked into the case;

“There’s nobody like you for me, and never will be anyone else. Mon amour, if you feel the same way, let’s give this a shot. R x"

After reading it, you heard a knock at the door. Opening it, Robaire was stood there with a hopeful expression. And, well, the rest is up to you.

Jesse

Jesse doesn’t really crush that much anymore. He has so much else on his plate with 4 Town and his kids. But when you walked into his life and he got that feeling. Man, he knew something wonderful was about to begin.

Like Robaire, Jesse is real good at hiding his crush and distracting himself from his feelings. Little things will catch him off-guard, though. Look him directly in the eye when you talk to him? That’s a guaranteed way to make him fall for you even more. And don’t even get me started on how he feels when you play with his kids. 

Being a father does make it hard for Jesse to decide whether to let his crush run its course or pursue you. It’s not because he thinks his kids don’t like you or anything, quite the reverse. He just has to think about the impact on them, not just himself. However, you can thank the twins for Jesse’s confession.

Let me set the scene. You were keeping an eye on the kids while the guys were in the recording studio. Jesse likes to bring them along, but keeping them quiet can be a challenge. In between takes, Phoebe flat-out just asked you, “Y/N, are you my daddy’s girlfriend/boyfriend?”

You could have heard a pin drop in the studio. Well, that is until T gasped over-dramatically and Z smacked him up the side of his head.

Jesse basically turned into a tomato, but his hopeful expression gave you some confidence. “Not right now, but I’d like to be.”

Obviously, he asked you out after that, and the rest is history.

Aaron T

So, we know that T is a chaotic guy, but having a crush sends his senses into overdrive. Think kitten on catnip/hyena. He’ll be rushing around the place, trying to get his thoughts off of you. And his sleep? Absolutely ruined, and he blames you - in a good way, though.

The guys all turn into exhausted moms when T starts crushing on you, even Tae. T loves to impress you more than anything, and his pranks are a sure-fire way to get a laugh out of you. Just one chuckle of yours is worth a month’s-worth of scolding from the guys.

Surprisingly, though, T never gets very touchy-feely with you. He won’t let himself. A huge part of him feels like you’re too good for him and would almost certainly reject him, so any kind of physical contact would be almost cruel, in his eyes.

Now, when it comes to a confession, I feel like Robaire would have talked T into it. It was after he found Aaron in his bedroom, curled up in a ball sat criss-cross on the ground, head in hands. The poor boy couldn’t deal with the intensity of his feelings towards you, and was beginning to panic that you might be taken away by someone else. Robaire helped T think of what to say, and it went something a bit like this;

“Y/N, I…uh…I got something to say. No, no, I’m fine! I just wanted you to know that I love you so much as a friend, but lately I been feeling some type of other way about you. I love you, completely, and it’s okay if you don’t feel the same, we can just stay as frien-”

“-Shut up and kiss me, you dork.”

Aaron Z

Having a crush pretty much breaks Z. He has no idea how to act around you, and who could blame him? Pretty much every waking moment of his is filled with thoughts about how wonderful and gorgeous you are. He can’t even get away from his feelings in his dreams. He’s down THAT bad.

Just seeing you from afar makes his breath catch in his throat, so being anywhere near you has him flustered beyond belief. Because of this, he’s even more stoic and straight faced than normal.

So, you’re pretty certain that he hates you, and you only dragged a confession out of him when you confronted him about his cold attitude. 

“What did I ever do to you, Z? You can’t even look me in the eye! Why is that?” 

“W-well…I…”

“What?”

“I LIKE YOU, OKAY?”

“O-oh…-”

Yeah, his confession was a whole new level of messy. He honestly never even planned on confessing, but once he did, he felt like an untapped part of himself was allowed to finally flourish. After a minute or so of silence, he scratches the back of his neck and looks you dead in the eye;

“So…wanna catch a movie or something?”

Tae Young

Okay, Tae with a crush is adorable. No one will convince me otherwise. He makes every excuse to be near you, and the guys tease him mercilessly (read: T) about it. You need a lift down to the store? Tae will go and get all your shopping for you. Can’t decide on an outfit? He’s at your house in 10 minutes with a freaking mood board of ideas. Need a shoulder to cry on? Tae’s got you sets up snacks, movies and all the fuzzy blankets he owns. 

Tae just wants to be there for you, and his caring nature helps him get past the shyness that threatens to keep his feelings for you undisclosed.

So, yes, the guys like to tease him about his crush, but Z not so much. He actually thinks it’s really cute, and will sneakily take pictures of you and Tae when you’re talking or something. When Tae finds the pictures, he blushes like crazy and Z tells him to make you his before it’s too late.

We know that Tae loves animals, obviously, and there’s no way that he won’t make them part of his confession. I also headcanon him as being into Harry Potter, so the idea of sending you a note via one of his doves is just too cute for him to resist.

So, when one of the white-feathered creatures appears on your windowsill one morning, you have no doubt in your mind who sent it there. It’s holding a little basket in its beak, and you reach inside to find the note;

‘Y/N, I know this is out of the blue, but I need to tell you something. I like you, like like you. I didn’t want to say anything because you’re my best friend, but a future with you is worth risking that. I can only hope you feel the same. Tae x’

With a smile, you draw a heart on the back of the note and hand it back to the dove, who flies away. Within five minutes, Tae is at your door with the dopiest grin you’ve ever seen.

(GIFS aren't mine. Don't worry, the spelling mistake in Jesse's bothers me too.)

---

Musing Meaninglessly Masterlist

[lordofhunger47]

Tripling The Havoc

Summary:When you have triplets, every place they would go chaos will follow, not even school would be safe.

"What now?" Dipper, father of three kids groaned, and he and her wife Wendy have been summoned to the school's office room again thanks to the shenanigans of the kids.

"Did Ava pull another scary movie scene as a prank again?" Wendy questioned in exasperation, already regretting ever letting their kids see their parent's collection of horror and/or B movies.

"Thank God, no, but this does involve your kids who are an absolute loose cannon, Ava especially!" The principal, who was a guy in his 40s sitting on his chair behind a desk, explained.

During photo-day…..

"Oops! Sorry! Though, if you ask me it is an improvement!" A girl laughed and passed away Avalon.

That was the queen bee Amely, a french blonde exchange student who thinks she is the greatest thing since sliced bread, who decided she wants to have fun. She ruined Ava's photo day by putting gum on her hair which got stuck so hard that only shaving her hair moved it away. you would think her siblings would come over, reassure her and in a nice wholesome gesture like give themselves a haircut as well? You couldn't be more wrong.

Ava gave a hateful glare after the brat left, slowly an evil smirk made around her lips as an idea lit up in her mind, an insidious idea that threatened her to chuckle like a cartoon villain, although her malevolent hyena face did disturb a bunch of kids who saw that look if she can't have the perfect photo day, then so as the queen Karen over there, she is going to pay ten folds, her siblings who came to comfort her upon seeing that expression ducked away knowing it is not a wise idea to get in the way of their tallest sibling when her gleaming with such insidiousness that it would make even a Manotaur pause in fear with an audible "NOPE!" from Anna as she pushed Ty away to the opposite direction.

As the snob seat on the chair ready for her photo while giving a fake smile likes of which media celebrities wear, Avalon from distant grin from ear to ear, and just when the time was right she touch something on her phone, causing a mechanism above the queen pompous to be activated

With no alarm, a can containing some kind of red liquid fell from up and spilled all over the girl who then looked shocked and gazed at her red-colored hands, she did what any stereotypical Beverly Hills do "AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-!" which is screaming.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-!" Ava's maniacal laughter mixed with the screams of the bee queen so as everyone's exclamation, laughing like an absolute lunatic with her hands in an evil form.

Current day…

"It was just red paint, not even real blood." Wendy huffed, though in truth Ava didn't use a pig's blood like the movie she ripped off because she didn't have any access to it so she improvised which her mother will never know.

"That's not the point!" The principal threw his arms up in the air. "Even Tyrone, who is supposed to be the most restrained of your kids, once paralyzed a kid for half an hour like some karate character!"

6 months ago….

"What is it now?" Ty asked, with his tone he seemed bored, he was shelving his stuff in his closet when a cliché brown-haired jock stereotypically named Chuck showed up with his friend, a brunette named James the first looking spitefully while the latter looked nervous.

"I'm gonna shove you back into your closet for humiliating me!" The jock showed his fist.

"I did warn you if you mess with me I would destroy whatever dignity you have, not my fault you didn't heed my warning." The redhead boy shrugged nonchalantly which only made him mad more.

"You left me half naked in the public bathroom and took my clothes away!"

"And you first tried with your goons to put my head in a toilet as if this is some bad budget 80s teenage movie, don't like the taste of your own medicine? Don't take it." He rebuffed with his eyes rolling.

"Oh, is that so smartass? I'm gonna enjoy stuffing your-"

By this point the only son of Wendy and Dipper didn't pay any attention as he got tired of his tantrum so he sighed, despite his calm demeanor his next action was a contradiction of his calm look which was giving decisive and focused hits between his neck and chest, resulting in him falling paralyzed.

"He…He jus-that nerd knocked him with ONE ATTACK!" The bully's companion exclaimed in shock.

"When you know human anatomy including pressure points, it is easy, and they say biology class is only for doctors." He took a book from his closet and moved away after closing it, leaving the audience flabbergasted.

Present….

"-and don't get me started on that firecracker named Annable!"

A week ago….

Explosion

It was heard in the lab room, thus the principal was startled and dropped his mug of coffee which fell on the floor and shattered into pieces mixed with the liquid containing it.

He sprinted, afraid that this was a school shooting or a kidnapping or something, he moved past the running kids from the lab and tried to calm them down with no effort, when he reached the lab he saw what the commotion was about.

"WHAT HAPPENED!?" He shouted at what he just saw to his surprise, thankfully this wasn't a hostage situation or some punk using a gun, instead what he saw was the sights of an explosion in the middle of the lab with Annable Pines and Tyrone in lab coats looking at the explosion the latter with a pair of goggles, a pencil and a note and both looking black from the smoke and disheveled hair as the duo being drenched by the fire sprinkler system.

"science happened," Annable answered him, she sounded disappointed with Tyrone crossing something in his note with a nod.

Today…

"-With safe materials nonetheless!"

"Hey, it is not our fault your so-called "safe materials" can be used for making explosives! If anything, we should be the ones forming a complaint about that!" Wendy said defensively, though both couples had a Deja Vu to when Dipper with his sister and Grunkle Stan fished using explosives and Wendy doing lumberjack kinds of stuff.

" sigh Your kids, though excellent in tests and studies, need to be socially adjusted, other kids are literally afraid of being in the same room as them!" 

One eyebrow came from Mason "Last I heard, Tyrone is in a Warsmith 50k club, Anna has her social group and Ava has a boyfriend."

A week ago…

"Stupid society, 'oh get socialized Ava! it's good for your spirit, humans are social creatures! Inside of every coal is a jew! Blah blah blah!" Ava gave gaged looked at last, whining at her last interaction with her aunt Mabel who advised her in getting more social like any kid she was begrudgingly so she decided in spite to not get another lecture about that to take the easy way and just be blunt, whilst she walked in the halls she randomly decided to choose someone and ask:

"Will you be my boyfriend?

"Wh-what…?" A surprised boy who seemed to be of middle eastern descent was busy reading his notes with his back to a wall to be ready for the incoming exam.

"Good then! Meet me next time out, don't think about ghosting me, or I will hunt you down and feed you to my death worm!" She stated cheerfully and left before the boy in front of her could properly reply.

"Bu-b…what just happened?" He was utterly confused.

Present day….

"That's not the point, your kids are great and all but they need to learn restraint." The principal of the school massaged his face in frustration.

"You try taking care of a set of triplets because believe us, this could have gotten way more chaotic," Mason said, emphasizing with his right hand dragging to his right.

"And I have you know, I was raised in a cabin with 3 of my brothers, so it's not like we would let our kids go wild with no limitation," Wen informed.

"For the school's sake…you better be."

A week later…

The principal let out a breath, it has been a week and no accident or any major fire hazard happened neither from the triplets or anyone, he just sit on his official relax and tried to get a slip from his coffee, until he heard a scream which caused him to spill the drink all over his suit, he had no time to complain about it as he hurried from his office to the source which was inside of the laboratory.

In it, he saw three things:

Tyrone somehow had made a makeshift flamethrower and was burning the screeching mutated plants that have developed a taste for flesh.

Annable with a terrified group of students behind her holding her was currently trying to save an unidentified student from the legs whose half of her upper body was being swallowed by a carnivorous plant as she struggled in panic.

And finally, "MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Avalon laughed as she killed every plant monster using a toolbox knife stabbing them while her terrified boyfriend was behind her trying to defend using an aluminum plate that was used for putting samples in it and is now being used as a shield.

PURGING WITH YOUR KIN

Upon seeing this, he let out a groan and dragged his face. It seems to ask for a week with nothing chaotic happening was too much to ask, especially with the anarchist trio involved.

[olivyh]

heyyy !! im back with another request >:) (feel free to ignore !!)

may I request azul, ruggie, sebek, silver and ruggie (if there are too many characters feel free to choose three :D) with a crush on a gn reader who,, is like the embodiment of a disney prince

you can choose which prince they embody ! since there's a lot of different types of personalities these princes have~ but all I ask is that the reader is suave (even if they don't realize it depending on the prince)

if anything doesn't make sense i'm happy to clarify :D - cyra

Welcome back Cyra!!!!! And omg I love this concept?? I just went with the princes from their respective movies for all of them because I thought it would be funny!

Now presenting:

Ruggie, Azul, Kalim, Sebek, and Silver with a prince-like crush!

Ruggie:

(Simba-like crush)

-He uses you at first, of course

-You believe what he says so easily, and you're so determined and hot-headed in a world that puts you at the bottom of the food chain, and so easy to manipulate

-He is a little annoyed by your constant questions about the world you were in, sending you off repeatedly and brushing you off

-He even caught himself nearly growling at you when your persistence would keep him away from his work

-He would find it cute, if he was a different kind of guy

-At first he finds it amusing how you try to fight people twice your size, your adventurous nature leaving you in situations where you could easily be beaten and left to dust

-He doesn't notice you too much until Leona's overblot tbh

-But the moment he collapsed, coughing up blood and sand, he felt your arms trying to hold him up, trying your hardest to keep him awake, fight Leona, manage your friends, do all these things completely by yourself despite not knowing a thing about what was happening

-He could feel himself falling for you, no matter how hard he tried to stop it

-Even more so when you were helping him wrap his arm up in the infirmary, the only sound between you two being your quiet conversation and Leona's snoring

-He apologizes for his actions, despite making a joke out of it

-Eventually, you two get closer and closer. With you helping him out with his chores and singing with him, even helping play pranks on Leona and Jack. You help him work, you even went back to his hometown with him during spring break

-Watching you play and explore the area with the kids, asking endless questions back and forth. When one of the kids asked you something and you answered animatedly, play fighting with them and rolling in the dirt, not caring about how dirty you would get...

-And when you were done, the kids pulling at your arms and trying to pull you up to get you to play more. You, panting, sweating, covered in dirt and dust, looked up at him and gave him that wide smile

-He realized he was in too deep, and his Grandma could see it as clear as day

"-gie! Ruggie Bucchi!" He jumps.

"Sorry Grams..." He winces when she pinches his cheek, making him whine and lazily try to push her off.

"That little human is taking up an awful lot of your attention..." He flushes, looking away.

"It's not like that."

"Don't you dare lie to me, boy," The woman wags her finger, sweeping at his ankles to get him to step off to the side. "I've seen that look many times, and I know damn well what it is!" She grins, making his face turn a deeper red as he looks away, scratching his neck. She tsks and sweeps him out of the house and he mindlessly walks in your direction, lightly pulling one of the kids off you and holding them in the air, laughing when they scratch and growl and try to get him to put them down.

"Geez, Prefect..." He sighs, reaching a hand out to pull you up. You do with some difficulty due to some of the younger hyenas still trying to pull you down, one of them even going as far as to try to bite your ankles. "Alright, ya little rats-" The kids laugh and scream, running out of sight.

"You're a mess," He huffs.

You try to dust off your shirt and pants, only getting a fraction of the dirt off. "It's fine! I had fun!" He laughs, trying to dust off your face with his hand.

"How badly did those kids beat you up?"

You huff. "Not at all! I was winning!"

"Yeah, yeah," His hand rests on the nape of your neck, gray eyes staring into your own with an intensity you weren't used to seeing out of the boy. His breath catches, and his gaze flicks down to your mouth. You both slowly lean in, eyes falling closed when, from one of the alleys you hear-

"Get him while he's distracted!" And your hyena friend is on the ground, being chewed at by many, many tiny hyena children. You laugh, and Ruggie can't help but sigh in frustration at how close he'd been.

And at how he let his guard down around the neighborhood kids.

"That's it!" The kids scream as he tumbles with them on the ground, laughing and pulling at his hair, his ears, his shirt, all while you stand off to the side laughing.

If it made you smile, Ruggie thought, maybe being ambushed wasn't too bad.

Azul:

(Eric-like crush)

-At first he finds you a bit threatening tbh

-A strong, determined, charming human? It was juts like the stories he'd been told as a child about the mermaid princess and her prince

-Except he was in the position of the princess

-He finds you very suspicious at first, believing that, just like him, you were putting up a heroic front, wanting to be someone other than yourself

-He puts so much effort into trying to reveal who you really were, to scrape any dirt that he can use to hold over your head

-Stealing your dorm and forcing your friends to work at the lounge should've been the last straw, part of him wanted to see how livid you would get, that kind front tossed to the side as you would have pulled at your hair in frustration

-Of course, that didn't happen

-And at the end of it all, you were the one who was holding him when he woke up from his overblot, voicing your concern and yelling at Ace and Deuce to grab some water, bandages, anything

-He. Fell. HARD.

-He still believes that you're hiding things, but he gives into your charming nature easily, your attractive smile never failing to make him catch his breath and look away, trying to catch his train of thought

-He doesn't like how easily you can put him in a lovestruck daze, with your energetic laughter, your carefree dances

-With every breath of concern aimed towards him, his heart skips a beat, with your dopey smile spinning in his mind at night

-He can't help but imagine himself in the position of the mermaid princess with you as his savior late at night...

-Of course, he brushes this thought away as soon as possible

-"How embarrassing..." He thinks, covering his face with his pillow.

-You grow close, your charm quickly making the boy weak at the knees and rely on his cane just as he had that first week of school...

-The first time you take him on one of your sailing voyages,,, let's just say he, a merman, got incredibly seasick

-He loves the ocean, and he loves you, but he decided that he does not love boats

"P-Prefect!" He yelps, holding onto the beam connecting the sail that you were tugging at viciously. "M-Mayhaps we should head back?"

"Azul, it's fine!" There it is, that smile that takes all attempts at an argument out of his system. He slams his eyes closed, feeling his head spin from the nausea. He hears you tie the rope around a beam, catching your balance as you stumble to his side, the waves crashing against the side of the small sailboat that you two had spent the summer repairing. "I've been doing this since I was a kid."

"I'm aware..." His  voice wobbles as he covers his mouth with his hand.

"Are you not having fun?" He hears you ask quietly, quickly shooting to his feet.

"N-no! Of course I'm having f-fun-" He swallows thickly, face turning pale. "I-I'm just..."

"Oh!" He hopes that you made the connection desperately before he hurls and ruins his chances with you forever. "You can always swim alongside the boat if you miss the ocean that badly, Azul."

Oh you lovable idiot.

He sits down, yelping as the boat rocks suddenly with a strong wave. Sliding into you, actually. His face flushes and he tries to regain his posture, scrambling for a hold on the ship. Azul pauses when he realizes that his hold was your shirt. In his hands. His one hand on your collar, the other resting on your shoulder. He looks up just in time to see your face flush, knowing all too well that his face was the same.

Your faces are so close together that it reminds him of the part in the story where the Prince and Princess are on a row boat, swaying and turning to the music as they lean in and-

The boat tips, Azul gasping as the cold water shocks his system, trying to grab onto you and pull you onto the now capsized boat. He can hear the grating laughter of his childhood friend as a long tail disappears beneath the water.

"Floyd Leech I swear on my mother---!"

Kalim:

(You added Ruggie twice, so I threw in Kalim because I had the FATTEST crush on Aladdin as a kid and I WILL NOT let this opportunity to pass me by.)

-Genuinely believes that he's in a fairytale

-He sees the way you sneak around campus, climbing the buildings and laughing as Grim scrambles to perch himself on your back, not wanting to fall off, your longing gaze when you see how carefree the other students are

-Your witty manner when it comes to talking to the other students, your grin when you manage to sneak around someone and get your way

-So when you bump into him accidentally after he finishes with the light music club, arms full of chips and an apple wedged in your mouth, he's more than happy to help you get them back to your dorm

-You explain that you know the codes to the vending machines, and that Crowley, plus working at Sam's part time and Mostro whenever they have positions available isn't nearly enough for you and Grim to survive, he feels bad. He agrees to keep your secret

-You two talk sometimes between classes, much to Jamil's dismay

-Oh yeah, Jamil doesn't trust you. One bit. Kalim may fall for your charm, but he doesn't. Kalim has to practically beg and give Jamil a full powerpoint on why you're actually a good person and that you have to steal from the vending machines to survive.

-He still is on edge around you, but much less after his overblot.

-That was the moment when Kalim's crush went from puppy love to full on adoration

-When he sobbed into your arms in the desert, heartbroken and, little did anyone know, his whole world crumbling around him

-I mean, he grew up knowing he couldn't trust anyone, even his own family. Practically isolated from society, forced to face death around every corner he crossed and all of a sudden the one person he thought he could trust betrays him and has been holding a grudge on him since they were kids?

-He knew heartbreak well, but every time he felt it it got worse. This one was the worst of them all.

-But you were there, telling off the Leech twins and their comments and hushing him gently, patting down his fluffy white hair

-His feelings only grew stronger when you hung out more after that, and they became unbearable throughout the whole VDC adventure

-He knows that it's bad. He knows that his parents won't allow him to marry someone who literally acts like the thief from his favorite fairytale. He knows that countless people will talk about him for ages. He knows, with a pang to his heart, that loving you means putting you in danger.

-But you already fill so much room in his heart, and even thinking about living a life without you makes him want to bawl

-He loves when you help him sneak away from Scarabia and even the palace when you visit his hometown, teaming up with the carpet to sneak him out through his balcony

"I've never seen the Scalding Sands like this before..."

"Didn't you go on rides like this before?" Even the carpet seems to wince at that, it's little tassel tensing up.

"I wasn't allowed to leave the palace much growing up, honestly..." For once, his smile isn't present n his face, voice small enough to be carried away by the wind if you weren't right next to him. "It was for my own safety."

"I'm sorry," You press a hand to his shoulder and he looks up at you, smiling softly.

"There's no need to be sorry!" He beams, turning to face you fully. "I'm having lots of fun with everyone now! I mean, I'm practically all over campus all the time!" You smile and nod. "Besides, even if I was stuck in Scarabia or my home, I know that I have you there, and that you'll sneak me out!"

You both laugh at that. The sun begins to set over the horizon, painting the desert in shades of reds and oranges. He watched your face light up at the sight, a bright smile painting your face that made his heart skip a beat. Tentatively, he reaches over, grabbing your hand.

"Lets-let's get back to the party, okay?" Not knowing what to do with the surge of emotion, Kalim opts to do things the way he's always done- distract himself with pointless matters. He wonders if he imagined the look of disappointment on your face, or if that was simply him giving his hopes up.

You nod and the carpet slowly turns before whipping around and sending you both tumbling off to the side. Kalim yelps, his head nearly dangling off the side as he grabs your arm to steady you, one of the arms that was now trapping him under you. He gulps when he notices that you're still in a panicked daze from nearly falling off.

"C-carpet..." He lightly scolds. "That wasn't..." His voice is caught in his throat as he looks up at you, noticing how flushed your face had become once you realize the position you were thrown into. You quickly scramble back, apologizing to the boy who laughs and shakes his head.

"No worries!" He hopes that the setting sun is enough to hide his own flushed face. He helps you balance yourself again on the now more-wobbly-than-usual carpet. He silently thanks the enchanted object for the moment, and curses himself for not making his move then.

At least now, he thinks, I've decided the path I'm going to take.

Sebek:

(Went with Flynn Ryder because I think the dynamic would be HILARIOUS and I'm already doing Phillip with Silver,,,")

-Wanted to knock you out at first

-He heard you talking to Malleus, and he knows that you can be as sneaky as Ruggie when it comes to stealing

-He screamed at you so loud you swore you saw his face turn so red that it was practically purple

-So, not a good start.

-It didn't help that you came by to help Riddle at the stables and Sebeks horse hated your guts

-He saw that as a definite sigh that you were bad luck

-He kept his distance from you, and he would not let you hear the end of it if you did get close

-How did you end up making him fall for you? Easy, actually

-Your goofy smile, your snide comments and jokes wormed their way into his heart. Your mutual friends, the first years, invited him to their hangouts and there, he found that you two were often wedged in a corner together, chatting away about anything and everything

-Soon he was looking forward to you visiting the stables, despite his horse still not liking you

-He even found himself talking about you to the other Diasomnia members, the rest of them easily picking up on what was happening

-And, if you must, you do have a moment like the lantern scene

"This is pointless!" Sebek huffs, holding the delicate paper lantern a little too tightly, the sides crinkling. "I have better things to be doing than this!"

"It's fun," You shrug, gently taking it from his hands, your fingertips brushing and making the boy turn a new shade of red, thankful that you can't see it due to the dark. "Live a little, Sebek."

"I've been doing quite a bit of living as of late, I'll have you know," He mumbles to himself, snapping and lighting a small magical spark atop his glove. He was hesitant about the new idea for the graduation ceremony at first. Sending off the third years with a lantern show? The prefect told him that it was metaphorical, but Sebek found no need for such things.

"I don't think you have," They tease, elbowing him slightly. He pouts, lowering his hand to light the lantern. It begins to glow a soft yellow, illuminated in your hands.

"Careful," He says softly, voice quiet in fear of breaking the playful tranquility of the moment. Your peers were further down in the field while you both had found a quiet place near the tree line, hearing the laughter of your classmates as you fumbled with the lantern. "Don't burn yourself."

"I won't." You mumble back quietly, moving your hands so he could hold the other side of the lantern. He does so and you both pause before you send it off. "Should we say something to this lantern-that's-supposed-to-represent-our-friends?"

He's silent before nodding. "G-good luck during your travels, Young Master, Lilia-"

"Please don't do anything stupid, I won't be around to save you all anymore-" You giggle and Sebek bites back a retort. Slowly you both send the lantern into the air, watching it rise higher and higher above the others. He feels your hand wrap around his own, your fingers laced together as his breath catches in his throat.

"Sebek, I-" You turn, swallowing quickly and looking into his lime green eyes. He smiles softly down at you.

"Prefect..."

"I really-"

"Prefect!" Ace screams from below. "We fucked up BAD!"

"What?!" You shout back, Sebek fighting the urge to throttle the redhead. "How?!"

"Grim was still on the lantern and we let go!"

"WHAT?!"

Silver:

(Phillip-like crush)

-Talk about a match made in heaven

-You're both fairly reserved, and honorable. You first met him when his animal friends led you to him, a beautiful, silver-haired boy asleep in the middle of the forest. Delicate face framed with glimmering strands of hair, porcelain skin decorated in small scars and callouses, surrounded by flowers and berries, only slightly shifting and groaning in his sleep.

-You crouched beside him, gently shaking him awake in a fit of worry.

-He opened his eyes and was certain that the fairytales that his father had told him were all true

-Love at first sight, kind of thing

-You bid each other goodbye, and then ran into each other once more while he was training in the forest, sword swinging and jabbing at empty air. You tell him about how you know how to spar as well, both of you training together and giving each other pointers on how to do better.

-Once, while cleaning and polishing his sword, he began to hum a short tune that you seemed to naturally fall into a harmony with, both of you singing gently

-You two began to hang around each other when classes weren't in session, always within reaching distance of one another

-He adores your kind and determined nature, and how quickly you went to protect him and keep him safe when he fell asleep out of nowhere. It was a feeling that he wasn't used to, being protected. After all, he was trained to be a knight since he was young. He was supposed to be the one doing the protecting.

-He loves how determined you are, and how well you get along with his horse that often follows him around when it's not in the stable

-He also loves your laidback attitude, never caring when he falls asleep on your shoulder or asking to take a break during your training because he feels his eyes start to slip

-He has been hopelessly in love with you since your first meeting, but every little thing you do makes him fall further and further into his own fantasies

-When you first meet his father and get along with him, that was when he realized that he had to do something

"See you later, Dearie~" Lilia chuckles from the kitchen. You smile and wave as you walk away from the dorm, noticing Silver's unease.

"We can stay away from Diasomnia until dinner's over, okay?" He gives you a grateful smile and a nod, glad that you always seem to know what he's thinking about. You notice how his steps seem to drag and how he stumbles a bit the deeper you get into the forest near Ramshackle.

"We can rest here-" He shakes his head, cutting you off.

"I-I can make it back to Ramshackle," You nod, knowing not to challenge him when he has an idea in mind. Once inside your dorm, he practically collapses on the couch next to you, his head lolling to the side as his aurora colored eyes seem to nearly disappear beneath his pale eyelids. He slowly leans, his head landing in your lap as you smile, playing with his hair as his chest rises and falls softly.

He reaches up with the last of his energy, grabbing your hand in his and squeezing it gently. "Thank you."

"Silver, you don't need to-"

"I do. Thank you," He mumbles, taking a soft breath. "I..." You notice how he's struggling to stay awake, lightly smoothing out his hair and hushing him.

"It's okay. We can talk when you wake up, yeah?"

He purses his lips before humming monotonously, falling into a deep sleep on your lap.

[exodusin]

Hi!! If you do requests, could you please write headcanons of what would include being best friends with Michael afton?? Please :D

note; fuck yeah Michael Afton 😩

headcanon; what would it include being BFFs with Micheal Afton

feat; Evan Afton and William Afton.

warnings; gore, abuse, angst, and strong language

fnaf masterlist

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

This dude when I tell you— he is so full of himself but quiet when you call him out on his bs.

When you do a hairdo that took hours, he’ll grin like the Cheshire Cat and rub his rough hands to mess it up- which ends up you chasing him and blabbering random insults.

He doesn’t take them by heart, your guys’ friendship has been like this for so many years

Since kindergarten

You guys became friends when Micheal noticed you being scolded by your kindergarten teacher and all of a sudden you bit their hand with all your mini strength.

That’s what he liked.

A daredevil.

And to receive your attention he would throw crumbled paper balls during class or destroying your sandcastles

He was provoking you- that little shit.

At now with all the little cat fights, he explained why he was doing all those bratty efforts, all because he wanted to be friends.

You just wanted flick his stupid face and spat at him saying

“YOU COULDVE JUST SAID SO, CORNBALL!”

His response could've been, “Don't care, it was worth it plus your sandcastles were ugly...”

It's been like this for so many years.

You would get in trouble over the most stupidest shit.

Y'all would skip classes, pull pranks on adults and toddlers, many detentions, and he steals William’s wallet to buy junk food in mini marts.

“Wouldnt want your dad beat your ass for this crap?”

“The bastard can't even count his own fucking money he obsesses over.”

Friday Nights? Friday nights.

Getting scolded by adults by acting like careless teenagers.

And we don't talk about Halloween-

He would bring over friends but you to two are the masterminds.

You two would steal toilet paper and eggs from your guys’ house and throw it onto the neighborhood.

Eating lots of sour candy.

Laughing like hyenas thinking you both rule the world.

But actions do have consciousness.

The police would later report to your guys’ little crimes onto your parents.

You were both scolded but that wasn't what made you uneasy.

Instead, it was the intense glare you both received from Mr. Afton.

You never really like him, every time you'll visit Micheal for a sleepover, he’ll always give you the cold shoulder.

You were just as much trouble- just like Micheal.

Speaking of bad vibes.

TW; for abuse and gore

The year 1983

Ever since the Halloween incident, Micheal tried to avoid getting in trouble.

But all of a sudden there was something off about Micheal.

He seemed to be all of a sudden obsessed with scaring his little brother, Evan, with a horrible looking fox mask.

Sure you enjoyed stealing lunch money from kids, destroying their Lego sets but emotionally scaring them was way too far.

Plus Evan always seemed to have a bright face when you come over to his house, since he doesn’t have any friends at school.

You pitied him, despite him believing his plushies are actually alive, you cut him some slack.

He sawed you as a friend that he can depend on for playing with him with his toys and watching movies.

But Micheal seemed to have a back up plan.

And he wasn’t stupid enough to realize that you didn’t want to participate in emotionally scaring his little brother.

He had to admit, he was disappointed in you, you two always agreed into a lot of thrills, what was the difference on this one?

You also had a question, why this all of a sudden? Did Evan do something stupid that made Micheal react like this?

It didn’t matter, Evan is only eight years old, the look on his tired big eyes crushed you…

And what’s worse, the look he gave you were easy to read.

He pleaded for you not to make his life worse, he truly did see you as a friend. A living breathing friend.

So you quickly rejected Micheal’s ‘offer’

No matter how you two were attached like Peanut Butter and Jelly, this was not okay.

And you were glad you rejected it.

You later found out Evan’s head was crushed by a robotic golden bear that seemed a lot like the plushes he owned in his room.

It was so fucking disturbing and what’s worse is that your bestest friend Micheal witnessed it all.

You knew he needed comfort, his shakey voice behind the phone told you his state.

He is your best friend, comrade, ally

He needed lots of comfort.

When your parents left you off the hospital, you quickly ran towards Michael and embraced him.

He seemed to be hesitant ant first but returned the hug.

He didn't deserve any affection. Not after what he has done.

“Y/N...I need to talk to you...privately...”

You both went to the rooftop and the only sound that could be heard was the cold wind.

—“Y/N...what I'm about to say will make you have me forever...” he mutters, his gaze lowering.

“Micheal...whatever you did will change nothing...I promise...” His breath becomes shakey and then says,

“I killed Evan...”

Silence.

“No you didn't...”

“YES I DID! YES I FUCKING DID!”

Your brows furrowed, “Micheal don't push yourself too hard, you're scared, don't react this way...”

“No Y/N, me and my friends forced my little brother to say close contact to the fucking fatass of a robot! This is all my fault! My father was right, I should've been the one that died...”

You stayed silent, you weren't going to lie, Micheal’s actions were dick moves, yes, but he would NEVER intentionally kill someone.

Plus he didn't know but the action was bad.

But you weren't going trash on him, no. The poor guy even got yelled the most horrible things a son can ever hear from a parent.

You weren't going to live him. You couldn't bring yourself to.

“Well like I've always said, I will always be your friend, no matter what, whatever bullshit comes our way ill be involved. And your father is a piece of shit, don't listen to that assholes don't listen to anyone who bashes you.”

You quickly hugged and patted his back as he sobbed, like I said.

You two are like peanut butter and Jelly, the most beautiful friendship no one can break.

[fourtownie]

kinda random 4town headcanons 😵‍💫

robaire

- oldest of the group hes 25 and he's an aries

- leader of the group

- he's got a deep voice when he talks but an angelic voice when he sings 🤭

- dad #1

- also can rap and dance hes an all rounder frl

- first to join the group

- cannot do the jerk ☹️

- the kind of guy that can learn things very fast

- good at painting but doesn't paint often

- born in southern france and he stills has an accent when he talks french

- choco mint ice cream truther

- likes some physical affection but prefers to wording his affection

- almost as tall as z but he's 5"11

- dad sneeze

jesse

- single dad of twins

- second oldest hes 24 and he's a leo

- singer and dancer what a king

- him and robaire were kinda friends before the group and robaire convinced him of joining

- second to join the group

- lactose intolerant

- cannot handle spice

- white body goated with the sauce

- he's a natural brunette and dyed his hair blonde

- had an emo phase

- dad #2

- hes bi because i said so

- shows affection thru gifting things idk

- 5'10

- his laugh is like "haha"

aaron t

- hes the third oldest hes 22 and he's a taurus

- mainly a dancer but he sings and he's bass

- will randomly do a backflip he's crazy like that

- him and z has been friends since they were kids and became friends just because they had the same name

- has a whole lot of freckles

- ate dirt as a kid

- broke his leg at some point

- steals clothes from the other members

- mint choco ice cream hater

- climbs trees

- likes dogs sm

- best cook of the group his food will make ur toes curl frl

- his hair is weirdly long but he doesn't want to cut it

- bites people ( affectionate )

- literally will eat anything

- high body temperature

- big fan of physical affection

- 5'8 because i said so

- laughs like a hyena

- deep voice when he sings average voice when he talks

- gets exited easily and jumps on them when he's happy

- shows his emotions easily

- like you'll know if u made upset

aaron z

- second youngest hes 22 and he's a scorpio

- dancer rapper and singer like okay all rounder

- only a few months younger than t but t always calls him a baby or whatever

- t joined the group with him they were the last ones to join

- was an athlete when he was in high school

- likes physical affection only with specific people

- the tallest hes 6 feet tall

- not really into sports as much as he was when he was younger

- reads a lot

- likes romance books 🤭🤭

- hes not secretive abt it tho he likes cheesy stuff

- caught up with memes and trends

- his favorite color has been red since he was young

- he tries to learn french but he gets frustrated every time he tries to speak it

- gets easily irritated but not with his loved ones

- very laid back and chill

- kinda awkward in certain situations

- lots of "hummm" and "err.." when he talks

- messy handwriting

- very interested in fashion

tae

- the youngest he's 19 and he's a virgo

- joined after jesse

- singer and dancer yass king

- likes animals more than humans

- when he was like 4 his parents got him a fish and he's been obsessed with animals since

- matches his nails with his outfits

- hes 5'8 too

- he reads a lot too

- but he reads any genre

- he has 4 cats

- all the members live in a dorm and he has the biggest room

- his room is the best decorated like posters everywhere figures on shelves plants on the desk

- he listens to a lot of ballads

- he watches horror movies even tho he knows he gets easily scared

- he and t pull pranks on the other members

- he draws in his free time

- his art style is the kinda style that every artist started with uknow the anime one

- he doesn't have a favorite color he just likes all of them

- his sexuality is unlabeled

- kinda behind in terms of fashion but it's fine he looks good in everything

- he makes fun of jesse and robaire for being old men

- "okay peepaw😂"

[bluejaybird12]

Random Ruggie Romance Headcanons

We love and Cherish our Yeen. If Romancing Leona is Hard Mode, then Ruggie I see as maybe Normal/Intermediate Difficulty? Jack might be Easy Mode. The Wolf being a Tsundere is nothing compared to these troubled MFers  Sort of ship my Yu with him, but anyway

- Since the Hyena is so used to people using him and wanting something in return, he might think you are trying to get something out of him. Once you show him that your gestures are genuine then you’ll make an impression on him. Maybe avoid doing that whole “What I want in return is a smile” joke at least until he trusts you enough

-  He is the Jokester type so expect lots of laughs and jokes. Maybe a few pranks here and there. He won’t go super hard on you, but just because you guys are together doesn’t mean he won’t play some on you. He’ll love a partner that gets him back with pranks of their own

- When he brings you home to meet his grandmother remember that she isn’t the only one you have to impress. After all he’s got the kids from the Slums, and they’ll want to check you out. Gotta make sure no one hurts someone from their pack. If they approve you have gained siblings/new friends that are “Ride or Die”

- He cherishes your time together. Anything you can do together movies, chilling, doing homework, even if it’s doing chores for you or Leona he will enjoy your company. He’ll find some way to spend time with you so expect him at ramshackle a lot when he has free time.

- PDA is sort of his thing. Arms around shoulders, waist, and a peck on the cheek. He’s also going to make sure nobody messes with you. He may try to get you out of some messes with some trickery, but when push comes to shove this yeen will snarl at anyone that messes with his partner.

[where-is-my-beheading-ceremony]

I'm too inactive in the nexo knights Fandom. But don't have the willpower to draw anything so I'll just start posting Jestro headcannons!

Starting off strong with angst and trauma 😀

-Jestro has faced malnourishment for how hard it was to find quality food when he was out on the streets

-You cannot look at him and say this boy doesn't have an inch of magic in him. I feel like he's got so much untapped potential, but his magic has a destructive nature, that's why he can't simply do spells that require much control. Summoning monsters without any practice or possession? Yeah he's great at it. Mayhaps necromancy is the answer to him, who knows.

- speaking of necromancy, with what story I have for him, he's always seen people that aren't even there. To others, whenever Jestro addresses emotionless people staring at him from a distance, they think he's just got a wild imagination. The aura of those people that only he can see however is in no way welcoming so he never dared to approach them. He learned to ignore it when he grew, but lol turns out he just sees spirits that still haven't moved on

-the most luscious hair. He's got absolutely beautiful locks. If he took care of them that is. I imagine his hair being black, lightly curly and long, but the knots.... Better to just cut them out than try to brush them at this point. He never put much care into it-

-Rumors have it, he's just a hyena in a trench coat since his laugh is both human and oddly not enough human at times. Mmm freaky laughs

-Another personal hc, yes...he i s that pale though I enjoy the body paint idea too. I have decided that because I gave his father (some tired necromancer) terribly pale skin. And that's just one of the traits that don't make him fully human

-Lance once tried to help him have a little makeover and spent half an hour trying to wipe Jestro's face before Jestro caught on and had to inform him that his pale skin wasn't face paint

-lack of absolutely anything a growing child should have also added to the pale skin thing.

-the older he grows, the more prominent his odd features became (longer ears, palers skin, sharper eyes, lightly more animalistic teeth)

-speaking of which, Monstrox' possession also left some permanent features for him (mostly scars like ones from lightning, eyes that seem to have a certain glow in the dark, some marks that can remind birth marks)

-absolute sweet tooth, Axl had to put him on a healthier diet and thanks to his good cooking, Jestro actually eats whatever Axl makes him

-whenever someone he's with is feeling down. Jestro makes them hot chocolate and sits with them, letting them vent out since he phases out half way through so they don't have to worry about Jestro accidentally spilling something or thinking about them differently. He does at times take mental notes of specific things

-He much more blabbers about others via writing than speaking

-Jestro and Aaron were known as the prank mazterz though Jestro was the one to get in trouble more than Aaron. Luckily Aaron would never leave them hanging. They're also the short duo, but Jestro ever so slightly outgrew Aaron

-Jestro and Clay have a special book in Merlok's library which is labeled as "Jestro's and Clay's heroic adventures" where they as kids would write out the adventures they had together and also stick some type of memento to the pages, if they're too thick for the page, they have an empty box like section to the book to add them.

-it's full of drawings and doodles

-after the first attack in the library, Clay took the book under his care in fear of losing it

-speaking of Clay. After season 2, he would get very anxious if Jestro went off without anyone knowing, but it passed. After season 4, whenever he or people he knows don't know Jestro's whereabouts or he doesn't come back for a bit, he gets bad anxiety, but doesn't usually go off to look for him in fear of invading too much personal space. He does message Jestro pretty often though to see how they're doing and offers them rides

-Jestro and Clay have a shared happy space which is a flower hill

-Jestro is worryingly good at puppy dog eyes and changing other people's decisions when he wants to. Usually uses it against Clay since it's the easiest with them. Though not to worry, he does it for good things, like convincing Clay to take a day off. The other knights sometimes ask Jestro to do it so they could relax a bit too

-He and Lance occasionally have make over nights, usually when the two have a hard time resting or just have had a bad day. It's relaxing.

-Macy is the closest thing to a sister he has since he's been around her often as a royal Jester

-Jestro has got some bad insomnia and sometimes nightmares so the knights catch him at 5 am drinking black coffee with a sickening amount of sugar since that's the only way he can handle it.

-Since Clay has a hard time sleeping too, the two spend a lot of time together at nights. Usually just Jestro keeping Clay company while they do some chores or train

-Even if it seems like Jestro has a bond with every knight, things were often times very tense between him and them. They're close, but still weary

-speaking of relationships being rocky, the most noticeable change of relationship was between Jestro and Clay after season 4. These two barely spoke or could hold conversations. Their friendship had grown apart and the guilt Jestro felt for turning Clay into a stone monster was painfully strong. Same goes with Clay and when he genuinely tried to k*ll Jestro that one time in season 4.

-Jestro's memory of the things that happened during his second possession is quite poor since he was struck in the head a few times and that majorly affected things. It's also one of the reasons he was a bit weary of the knights since he couldn't remember which one was almost responsible for his end, just knew it was one of them.

-He occasionally twitches from the electrical charge his body still partially posseses. Not a lot though since he got rid of most of the charge when he tried to escape the kingdom once

If you want more, I definitely have plenty Jestro hcs so be sure to comment that!!!

[lunarliza]

JJ Maybank Must Die | Chapter 5: Hair Dyes

fuckboy!JJ x Reader

series masterlist | prev. chapter | chapter one

JJ Maybank is the island’s most infamous fuckboy- not that you ever cared. But when a group of tourist girls come to your surf shop crying to you about him, you agree to help them plot revenge. Sabotage is all fun and games, until you find that the playboy you were sworn to ruin happens to be falling head over heels for you.

Yes, this is based on John Tucker Must Die lol

note: sexual-like content ahead. also pls keep in mind that this is just a playful haha funny story, this stuff isn’t meant to be taken seriously at all 

“So are you a virgin?” 

You scowled at the phone perched on your nightstand. 

“No,” you lied, continuing to paint your big toe. 

Oddly enough, after the whole nature-calling theatre debacle, JJ not only apologized profusely when the movie ended, but he actually pursued you even harder the week following. The universe really did work in mysterious ways.

He quadruple texted you during the day, sent you funny pictures of him lallygagging around the town with The Pogues, and called you every night until you both fell asleep. 

At first you found it clingy as hell, but seeing JJ in the girl-filter or watching videos of him pranking John B sleeping had you entertained enough to actually respond. 

Tonight’s phone topic was 21 Questions, and like the fuck boy he was, ‘what’s your favorite color’ turned dirty in a matter of minutes. 

“What’s your body count?” you asked, actually curious about what that figure might be. 

“Hm,” you could hear him smacking his lips, “To be honest, I don’t really know.”  

“Are you serious?” 

“Well,” he spluttered through the line, “I stopped keeping count after like 30. If I had to give a range it’d probably be from 50 to 70.” 

Your nose crinkled. “Charming.” 

Just then, you heard your mom’s voice echo from the front door, “Y/n! Package came in for you!” 

“One sec,” you told the blondie on the phone and waddled down the hall on your heels, careful of your wet toes. 

Ripping open the box, you gasped at the rows of assorted lacy thongs Annalise ordered yesterday to be sent to your house. You forgot rich people could afford express shipping. 

“Everything good?” JJ questioned through the line. 

“Yeah, uh, just a little shocked at how big the, uh, water bottle I ordered is.”

Your hand clawed through the stash, feeling how nice the silk and lace felt. No surprise, it was also a very expensive brand. You considered keeping a few for yourself. 

“Hm, interesting,” JJ responded, “Anyways, continuing our game, do you have any kinks, like in bed?” 

You held up a red g-string, inspecting the tiny bows lining the crotch area. “Yeah, I have a few.” 

------------------------------- On your next day off, JJ invited you to go fishing with him and his friends. He picked you up early to grab some equipment from the store. Afterwards, you both sprawled on his bed, waiting for the others to arrive. 

“Hey JJ?” you asked, hand tangled in his gold locks while he played some game on his phone. 

“Hm?” 

“So do you remember the other night when we talked about our kinks?” you asked as seductively as your inexperienced self could. 

He immediately halted his game, a sly smirk danced its way across his lips. “Yeah...” 

“Well,” you bit your lip, “I do have this one that just really turns me on.” 

“I’m listening,” he piped, running a hand up and down your thigh. 

You put on your best amateur sex-minx face, blinking up at him. “It’s a little weird though.” 

He shifted positions so he laid between your thighs, kissing up your exposed stomach from your crop-top. “I don’t care. If it gets you wet baby, I’m all for it.” 

“Okay then... I actually have a present for you.” 

Sliding out from under him, you scrambled through your bag and pulled out the red g-string. JJ whistled from his bed in response, leaning back on his arms at the edge.

“That’s sexy as fuck,” he dragged you closer by the back of your thighs, “Try it on for me real quick, before the rest of the Pogues get here.” 

“Oh no no no,” you hung the underwear out to him, “It’s for you.” 

JJ’s mouth went agape, his eyes nearly exploding. “What the fuck y/n?! Are you kidding me?” 

You pouted and sulked away with a huff. “I knew it! I knew you’d make fun of me! I thought I could trust you JJ!” You covered your face and wailed like a child who couldn’t get her way. If this wasn’t your Oscar-winning moment you didn’t know what was. 

“Hey, hey, hey, wait,” JJ cooed, stroking his hand up your shoulders behind you. “I didn’t mean it like that. I wasn’t making fun of you, I was just a little shocked that’s all.” 

“But you think it’s weird!” you cried out, refusing to meet his eyes. 

“Well,” he scratched the back of his head, “I mean... you really want me to wear it?” 

You sniffled and nodded. 

“And this turns you on?” 

You nodded again, facing him. “I just, I think it’s so sexy when a man can embrace his sexuality like this you know?” 

“I guess... do you just want me to try it on?” 

“That’d be nice,” you rubbed the side of your arm, “Maybe you could even wear it today when we go out? It’ll be under your shorts so no one will see.” 

“Are you kidding me? N-” 

Your puppy-dog eyes stopped him dead in his tracks, threatening to burst into tears again. Boy, was this guy putty in your hands. 

He sighed, swiping the underwear from your hand. “Fine, but we do not mention this to any of my friends, got it?” 

You quickly shook your head with an excited smile, knowing damn well the thong was high-cut.

Minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom, giving you a little show of his new undergarments. You had to admit, under all those baggy shorts laid a nice pair of perky buns. The sight of him trying to body roll on the floor made you fall back cackling at his Magic Mike attempts. 

Annalise definitely should’ve ordered a size up because his rising bulge was stretching out the lace that was clinging on for dear life. You had to shield your beet-red face. 

The ring of the doorbell sent JJ scurrying to find his pants while you walked to the front to answer it. In came his friends- John B, Kiara, and Pope- who you greeted just as the blonde sauntered out of his room as if nothing was fishy was going on. 

“So, who’s ready to hit the water?” John B asked as the guys gathered up the fishing equipment. 

You followed the herd out to the docks where the famous HMS Pogue sat. JJ walked a little ahead of you and Kiara, casually picking at the wedgie through his shorts. Kiara scrunched her nose in disgust while you snorted and had to bite your lip from bursting out laughing.

Riding along the marsh, you chatted with Kiara on the back deck while the boys casted the net at the front. She raved all about the new tarot deck she bought and even practiced some palm readings on you. You didn’t know her very well, seeing as she attended the Kook school, but you were glad she was easy to get along with. 

“So what’s the deal with you and JJ?” she asked out of nowhere. From the corner of your eye, you could see Pope do a discreet double-take at her question.

“Um, I’m not really sure,” you answered, “We’re just hanging out, I guess.” 

“Well, you’re the first girl he’s ever brought to hang out with us,” she revealed, “Or even really hung out with in general, for that matter.” 

A sharp gasp from the boys snapped you both out of your conversation. There, at the tip of the boat, was JJ bending over the net with the prominent lacy bows of his g-string exhibited for the world to see. 

John B and Pope doubled over cackling like a pack of hyenas. “JJ what the actual fuck!” 

The blonde whipped upright instantly once he caught on, hand flying to cover his backside. His entire face went the brightest shade of red. “Shut the fuck up! Or I’ll kill you both!” 

Pope fell to the wooden floor of the deck, trying to regain his breath from the laughter as John B doubled over on top of him. 

“Stop it you guys!” Kiara scolded at the boys who were practically in tears. She had to hold back a few giggles herself. “If JJ wants to wear that then let him! I think it’s,” she accidentally snorted, “I think it’s cool!” 

JJ fastened his shorts and began play-fighting the hyenas. Meanwhile you filled your girls chat in on the hilarious scene, trying to muffle your own snickering. 

-----------------------------

“You want to be a what when you grow up?” 

“A hairstylist,” you repeated through the phone. You hoped the pitch change in your voice wasn’t too much to give yourself away. Nevermind the fact that you knew nothing about hair as yours was always wet from surfing. 

“Uh okay,” JJ responded, “That was kinda unexpected but you do you I guess.”  

You slouched on the old-fashioned armchair in Annalise’s condo while your friends gathered around to listen in on yours and JJ’s call. A fit of snickers and shushes flew through the room as they tried to suppress their noise. 

“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to practice on people for a while now. I need to have experience to get into this beauty school I’ve been looking at,” you went on, “Do you think I could try something on you tomorrow?” 

You heard him scratch through the line. “Uh, why me? You don’t have any other friends that you could do it on?” 

“Because JJ! You’re like the only blonde I know. And I really want to perfect my bleaching skills. C’mon please! It’ll only be like a shade lighter. You’ll hardly even notice,” you promised in your well-rehearsed begging voice. 

“I’m not sure about this one, Y/n. It seems a little risky. Pope and John B are still ragging me for the underwear.” 

“Hmph,” you took the phone and held it closer to you, “Come onnnn JJ! I swear it’ll be fine. Please just do me this teensy little thing. I might even return the favor.” Your voice sang at the last bit.

He hiked in a long breath. “F-Fine. Just promise me it won’t be noticeable!” 

“Promise!” you cheered as the quad around you erupted in their silent happy dances. “Okay I’m going to go now, see you tomorrow before Sarah’s birthday Loverboy!” You sent him air kisses through the phone and hung up. 

“Men are so easy!” Sophia drawled, taking a huge bite of her ice cream pint. 

“You’re getting so good at this y/n!” Arabella pretend to wipe away tears, “I’m such a proud mama!” 

Maia whisked into her room and popped out seconds later, handing you a bottle of squeeze hair dye. “Here it is. Use it wisely young grasshopper.” 

------------------------------

You showed up to JJ’s house the next day. Thankfully, his dad was out a work so you had the entire house to yourself. Lord knows you needed it with the mild trauma you were about to put this boy through. 

You had JJ sit in the bathroom, away from the mirror with his head leaned back and eyes closed. Clumsily, you applied the dye like the Youtube video you watched the night before. Needless to say, you were getting it everywhere- on your clothes, JJ’s clothes, the counters. 

It was a disaster. But you played it cool, reminding JJ to keep his eyes shut or the dye will burn them. After wrapping his head in foil sheets and waiting 20 minutes, you bent him over the shower and washed everything out. 

Drying his still covered hair in the towel, you yanked it off him as he turned to the mirror and let out a deafening, ear-splitting shriek. 

“WHAT THE FUCK! OH MY GOD!” 

JJ looked like he was about to cry, horror-stricken, at his bright new bubblegum pink hair. 

“What the fuck is this?! What am I going to do?!” he paced back and forth in the clustered bathroom, “Sarah’s surprise party is tonight! John B’s gonna kill me if I don’t go! People can’t see me like this!” 

You bit your finger, glancing off to the side. “It was a mistake! I’m so sorry! It was supposed to be ash blonde but I might’ve gotten strawberry blonde instead.” 

JJ grabbed your shoulders, desperation drowning his eyes. “You have to fix this right now y/n! We have to be at the beach in an hour!” 

“You can’t bleach it again right now,” you protested, “You’ll fry your hair and then it’ll look like a bird’s nest!” 

“Then what are we going to do?! I can’t go outside like this!” 

---------------------------------

“Chug! Chug! Chug!” 

Throwing your head back, you finished the remains of the beer and tossed the cup into a nearby bin. The small crowd yelped as you threw your hands up. 

JJ crept up behind you and lifted you in the air, spinning you around. “Fuck yeah y/n!” 

You patted on the backwards cap on his head and he let you back down, pecking your cheek. 

Minutes before you guys arrived, he was able to rummage through is drawers for a hat big enough to stuff his Strawberry Shortcake hair into. Some specks still peeked out underneath, but, in the dark, you couldn’t really tell the island’s golden boy was now a pink poodle. 

The birthday girl, Sarah Cameron, skipped over to the group around you and thanked everyone for coming. She had her fingers linked with her new boo and party organizer, John B, as she hugged all her friends. 

You met her briefly after the big ‘surprise’ chant when she first arrived. When she referred to you as ‘JJ’s girl’ in front of everyone, you blushed and ignored her comment even though her and basically all the girls there were wondering the same thing. 

If only they knew. 

In your peripheral, you spotted your sabotage squad casually stroll into the beach and blend in with the pack of dancing kids. It was time to initiate Plan D. 

As the party progressed, you clung onto JJ side due to the fact that you hardly knew anyone there. You sat in his lap during a few drinking games and he even held you up while you did a keg stand. 

You were both dancing tipsy for a bit near the bonfire. His hands roamed your body while you pressed your ass to his crotch. You giggled when he bent over and kissed up your neck. 

“It’s getting kind of crowded now,” you mentioned at the growing swarm of people. Word probably got out about the party which definitely drew the hordes of tourists that were arriving by the dozen. JJ hummed against your skin. 

“We could get out of here for a bit,” you suggested, “Maybe go for a little dip in the water?” 

You felt his ears perk. He eyed you questioningly while you sauntered away from him and the throng of people, motioning for him to follow.

And he did. Just like a lost puppy. 

Both of you moved to a secluded section of the beach. The waves were calmer, and the music from the party muffled against the sound of the water crashing. 

“What is your cute little ass up to now,” JJ teased as you peeled off your top to set on a rock, revealing a sexy push-up black bikini. Again, one of Maia’s. 

“Come on! Let’s swim for a bit,” you coaxed, slipping out of your shorts. He grinned when you backed towards the water.

Here goes nothing. 

Sultrily, you undid the back string of your bathing suit and flung it onto the sand. JJ’s lips parted slightly. You swore his spirit left his body for a moment. 

You bit your lip. Still locking eye contact, you discarded your bottoms next. 

Twirling your nude body around, ass in full view, you cocked your head back at the awestruck teenage boy. “What? Cat’s got your tongue? Are you gonna come in or just stand there?” 

You’d never seen anyone undress at the speed JJ did, sans hat and everything. “Oh my God!” you squealed at the sight of him stepping out of the pink thong you gave him, “I can’t believe you wear those still!” 

He darted towards you and the ocean, the smile on his face stretched all the way to his sculpted cheek bones. “Hey, you like them and they make my ass look good. It’s a win-win for everyone!”

You also couldn’t help but notice his, uh, junk that was swinging while he ran with you. One peep at it and everything clicked in your head as to why women were obsessed with him. It was a very pleasing sight. 

Knees deep in the water, his hands drew up your sides. He ogled at your bare body, radiated by nothing but the moon, and you shifted a bit to make sure his back was fully facing the shore. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he rasped, resting his hands just atop the swell of your butt. “Fuck,” he purred, “C’mere.” 

Bending down, he crashed his lips onto yours, stroking up and down your backside. With one eye open, you peeked towards the rocks where two dark shadows hunched over and scurried away swiftly. 

Turning your attention back to the kiss, you briskly pulled away and splashed him before he could react. 

“Oh you wanna play huh?” he taunted and lunged at you while you playfully shrieked. 

You giggled as he picked you up, hand under your neck and knees, spinning you around a few times before dropping you at a slightly deeper end. You floated back up and splashed at him again with all your might. 

JJ swam towards you and wrapped your legs around his waist under the water, only your heads above the water at this point. “You’re so fun,” he gushed, kissing you again, a little more forcefully this time. 

You two stayed that way for a bit until you heard the kids from the party faintly singing ‘Happy Birthday’. 

“Fuck!” you shouted before scrambling out the water with JJ on your trail. You were able to pick up your bikini from the sand and pull it on. But once you got back to the rock, the only thing left was a single pink thong. 

“Where the fuck did our clothes go?!” JJ hollered, outraged. 

“Oh my God!” you joined, “Maybe some raccoons took them!” 

Not even bothering with your preposterous presumption, he held his hands up to his head in stress. “What the fuck am I gonna do? I have to go back through the party to even get to the car! And I have fucking pink hair!” 

“Uhh, maybe you could swim through the water past them? I could meet you on the other side with a towel.” 

“Okay okay! Just hurry!” he urged, hurrying back into the water in just the skimpy underwear. 

You jogged back to the party that died down by quite a bit. Only close friends remained. 

“Where’s JJ?” Pope asked as you surveyed the area, “He missed the whole cake. We were looking for a lighter for ages.” 

You merely shrugged. “Not sure, maybe he left for a bit?” 

Pope glanced around, confused until a voice- Sophia’s voice- shrieked from the sides. “Oh my gosh is that JJ?!”

A few gasps emitted from the crowd as Arabella and Annalise shone their flashlights at the bubblegum head perched on top of the water. 

“JJ what the fuck are you doing?!” John B yelled, “And why the fuck is your hair pink?!”

JJ looked as if he’d seen a ghost. He laughed sheepishly, “Yeah about that I-” 

Before he could finish, the tide pulled out to reveal the fuchsia g-string on his hips. John B face palmed himself and shielded Sarah’s eyes from the indecent scene. 

The party exploded in laughter, Pope and Kiara fell to their knees on the sand, joining the mass.

Middle fingers in the air, JJ dashed through the roaring flock and to the car. “Fuck you all! But happy birthday Sarah!” 

---------------------------------

note: hehehehhe. okay i had fun writing dis. pls msg me to be tagged!! 

chapter six

tags: @obxlife​​ @rudyypankow​​ @yeehaw87​​ @ilymarkchan​​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​​ @tangledinsparkles​​ @toloveortobeinlove​​ @pixelated-pogues​​ @normatural​​ @teamnick​​ @drizzlethatfalls​​ @hazelgirl355​ @wicked-laugh​ @jjmaybankswife​ @ponyboys-sunsets​ @5am-cigarette​ @everydayimfangirling​ @angvelics​ @poguecollins​ @xealia​ @floridabornandraised​ @girlsru1eboysdroo1​ @booksandshish​ @apoguecalledjj​ @bananasfromtarget​ @lulbabes @arthiriticcricket​ @lasnaro​ @aaleksmorozova​ @himarisolace​ @obxmxybxnk​ @lopineapples​ @x-lulu​ @danicarosaline​ @llvinlavidaloca​ @toofarawaytobreathe​ @llvinlavidaloca​ @danicarosaline​ @ilovejjmaybank​ @socialwriter​ @searchinfornarnia159​ @1-800-jjslut​ @jolomez​ @lopineapples​

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse April Fools Special: Donald’s Pumbaa Prank (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)

Hello all you happy people and welcome to my April Fool’s Special! And it’s also my patreon review for the month as Kev just so happened to randomly hit this one and once I realized it was an april fools episode I moved it up since things have been kinda hectic in the old brainpan lately, and as such my output slowed down a bit so I really wasn’t in great shape to do 4 episodes in one day. So instead see what hyjinks, fart jokes and murders of beloved disney characters insue under the cut as the hosue of mouse gets a bit foolish

The Wraparound:

It’s April Fools day at the House of Mouse and Donald pulls a prank on MIckey by cutting his break lines.. wait no that was last year. No this year he just puts some wax on the stage and MIckey trips, Donald laughs. Now if this were the real world this would be really dangerous and probably destroy their friendship and MIckey’s spine. But this is a cartoon that runs on cartoon physics. He was in no real danger. So Mickey’s retaliation on the other hand.. is just showing embarassing footage of Donald. It makes him come off as unecessarily cruel as instead of an actual prank or joke it’s just “Hey look at this embarassing footage of my friend I dug up”

This plot DOES get a lot bettter though after the setup: Pete talks Donald into kidnapping Pumba, planning to use Pumbas farts to clear out the club...

Yeah i’m not big on fart jokes. I’m not against them, when used right they can be comedy gold.. this song from bobs burgers is one such example

It’s just a lot of times farts and other bodily functions are used as the joke alone. That’s it. There’s no actual laughs or content too said laughs, i’ts jsut this is gross.  Thankfully this episode does not go really deep down the grossdout rabit hole, as we don’t see the fart on screen.. but it still dosen’t make “Pumbas’ ass gas is going to destroy the house of mouse” funny. 

There are some funny gags though: Donald’s method of distracting Timon so Pete can kidnap Pumbaa is to just stand there not saying anything and weirding Timon out , their replacement is just a bowling ball, two horns and a sack of something, and when Timon goes looking for Pumbaa, finds Zazu under a plate the hyena’s have.. and then just leaves him there. Seriously Timon just.. let’s Zazu die and I am here for it. 

Donald meanwhile thinks Mickey is planning another prank after mickey apologizes and has a special thing planned but it’s really jsut a lifetime achivment award, so Donald tries to stop it, then reveals the truth when Pumba shows up.. and gets his award taken away. Even though he had every reason to think Mickey was going to pull something because honest as he is i’ts april fools day. Mickey just... obnoxious in this one and it speaks to a larger problem with the series I remember from when I was a kid that i’ve noticed once or twice now: The show tends to have Squidward Syndrome, i.e. it treats Donald who can be obnoxious as wrong.. even when he’s done nothing wrong THIS EPISODE, like spongebob did to squidward at times, or if he has done something wrong his punishment is dispororitante. Donald did a minor prank.. and MIckey publicly humiliated him and Donald TREID to stop his prank. And goes above and behond to stop it, taking the fart attack at ground zero. Speaking of which the fart attack scene from parks and rec, also a good fart joke. 

And MIckey.. learns nothing by playing the test footage again even though Donald was just ground zero at an attomic level ass.

Final Thoughts for the Wraparound: It’s not great. I”m noticing that trend with Season 1 in general, where they really just didn’t have a ton of idea of what to do with the wraparounds. The episodes still vary in quality, but outside of the pilot most of the season 1 episodes are pretty disapointing as an adult, very simplistic plots that often don’t use the club’s nature to their full advantage or the characters to the same. It would get better though, but it’s something to notice. onto the shorts. 

The Friend for Life: This is a pretty simple one. Sam and Max, are after the mad Thesipian, whose exactly what he sounds like. We even get a really neat visual gag as sam just.. uses his little buddy as a sword while the Thespian uses a candelabra. But while our Freelance Police catch the weirdo, and Max takes a ride in the saftey tramp they set up for the guy, he escapes when the two are distracted by Norm, THE FRIEND FOR LIFEEEEEEEE. An obessive fanboy played by Patrick Mackenna of the Red Green Show, esentially playing an older and stalkery version of Harold.. now I think about it this might be his dad. I mean we don’t know where he went or what hapepend to the guy. Maybe he just went to the states to obesss over a rabbit and Dog. I don’t know. 

Lorne wants to help our heroes while Max understandably wants to run him over and sam just runs past him the minute they can. But despite finding the thespians layer  Max: (Singsong) We’re here to arressttt youuu Sam: (Also singsong): Rememberrrrr.. crimesss against humanitty? But it turns out Lorne, THE FRIEEEND FOR LIFFFEEEE, kidnapped him and puts on a show for htem of fighting thier old eneimies and a roller coaster death trap. Our heroes escape and begrudignly thank lorne even if they find his stalker shrine a bit much. 

Final Thoughts for The Friend For LIfe: A really solid episode and the fact i’ve binged several sam and max episodes since then really speaks to how good this one was. Seriously really funny stuff and I didn’t even cover half the great jokes in this one. Check it out, it’s on youtube. 

Mickey’s April Fools: An odd one but a fun one. MIckey is taking his asshole pills and goes overboard with his pranks, faking proposing to Minnie and faking his death after Mortimer pranks him. But it works... I mean is it grossly out of character? Oh god yes. Would it have made more sense by swapping out Mickey, Minnie and Mortimer with Donald, Daisy and either the boys or pete? Entirely. Is this short still hilarous. Yup. While i’ts not the best they’ve done on the show, it’s still really entertaining. The two end up getting him back, MOrtimer by faking a will reading only to have it go really poorly for Mickey as his death was reported, donald refuses to help due to Mickey’s last words to mortimer being “I’ve never undestood him” and Goofy being.. goofy. And MIckey is left hanging from a pole by minnie because fuck him. An out of character one.. but the sheer oddity of mickey being this dickish in the house of mouse shorts makes it work.  Be A Man: As a debut album for Randy Savage this Album is audotirally fucktacular, and with some polish randy could’ve had a long and successful rap career. As it stands, it is a sad one off not ein his career. 

Critters: On an asteroid prison, a group of dangerous aliens known as Krites are set to be transported to another station. The Krites engineer an escape and hijack a ship, prompting the warden to hire two shape-changing bounty hunters to pursue them to Earth. Studying life on Earth via various satellite television transmissions, the first bounty hunter assumes the form of rock star Johnny Steele, while the second remains undecided, thus retaining his blank, featureless head. On a rural Kansas farm, the Brown family sits down to breakfast. Father Jay and mother Helen send teenage daughter April and younger son Brad off to school while waiting on mechanic Charlie McFadden. A former baseball pitcher, Charlie has become the town drunk and crackpot, with claims of alien abductions foretold by messages through his fillings.

Playing with overly potent self-made fireworks and Charlie's slingshot, Brad takes the blame when Charlie accidentally shoots April and is grounded as a result. On the roof that evening, Brad mistakes the Critters' crashing spaceship for a meteorite; Jay and Brad investigate and interrupt the creatures consuming a cow. The creatures thereafter kill and feed on a local police officer, and later besiege the farm and cut its electrical connection. While checking the circuit breaker, Jay is attacked by one of the Critters and, being severely wounded, just barely manages to escape

.In the barn, April is about to have sex with her boyfriend Steve when he is killed by the one of the Critters; the creature itself is slain when it devours one of Brad's lit firecrackers. The remaining Critters sabotage the Browns' and Steve's cars, forcing the Browns to hole up inside the main house. Meanwhile, the two bounty hunters search the town for the Critters, causing a panic at the church and bowling alley, with the second hunter assuming the form of various townspeople, including Charlie. Brad escapes the farm to get help and runs into the bounty hunters, and upon learning of their true nature and intentions, he leads them to the Critters' location.

The last surviving Critters kidnap April and return to their ship when the bounty hunters arrive, and attempt to flee. Charlie and Brad manage to rescue April, but Brad drops a large firecracker he intended to use to destroy the ship when the Critters discover their escape. Just as the Critters take off and destroy the farmhouse out of spite, Charlie throws a Molotov cocktail made from his whiskey bottle into the ship, causing a fire which detonates the cracker and kills the Critters. The bounty hunters leave in their ship after giving Brad a handheld device to contact them in case of future invasion, and also restore the house. Unbeknownst to them, Critter eggs can be seen in the barn inside a chicken's nest that seem to be ready to hatch.

Final Thoughts on Critters: Critters is a wonderful film, despite what Rapheal from the teenage mutant ninja turtles might think but fuck him he has scabies. It’s fun, energetic, and ahs a great premise of instead of it JUST being on our heroes to repel the invaders, their caught between two diffrent sets of aliens instead and instead of a chisled jawed heroes the good aliens are simply bounty hunters with no care about collateral and only doing a job. It’s a damn fine film and I still need to make time to watch the sequel. 

Donald’s River Thing:

This is a simple one. Donald plans to go fishing, finds out it’s his and Daisy’s anniversary, her half birthday and valentine’s day and has to take her along and make it like a thing while being a dick about wanting to still fish, but in a very funny way while the local fish fight back. This is easily the standout of the episode incredibly funny, increidbly wholesome, and an incredibly good time. Really great stuff. 

Invincible Episodes 1-3:

This seires is fucking fantastic and you should go watch it. GO WATCH IT. 

Final Thoughts overall: 

YOUR NOT WATCHING IT

Final Thoughts Overall: This is a decent episode not much to say except HIT IT BOYS

[lothpup]

Well it’s been a hot minute since I’ve actually written any fic, let alone posted it so I’m a little like !!! But between finishing rebels, and a pal getting a mouse, whatever this is happened! It was fun to write at the least! A Mischief of Mice  1214 words Kallus likes to fix up droids. The spectre kids and their big cat brother like to make terrible jokes. Mischief ensues. Below the cut, because it’s actually a little bit longer than I thought it was!

Giggling, as Alexsandr Kallus has come to find out rather swiftly, is never a good sign when one is onboard the Ghost. The sounds of the youngest spectres snickering somewhere just out of sight is far from the sweet, innocent sounds of the young ones finding joy.

He almost regrets sitting in the very corner of the main room, the cabins where the culprits are up to whatever they’re up to are working.

That giggling is a terrible omen, a harbinger of doom, the crack of thunder just before a terrible storm.

It’s particularly a bad sign when he has a so many of transport logs to finish combing through that Draven expects by morning.

Each peal of laughter only serves to heighten his dread. And perhaps the sneaking curiosity at what exactly today’s antics are that have prompted such giggling. It isn’t the most common sound, and certainly wasn’t common in all his years under the Empire.

The moment he hears the hearty gruff belly-deep chuckle of Garazeb he knows this is going to go spectacularly awful. For him most likely.

“No, we’re not done with them, and no you can’t throw them in the trash! Chopper!”

Chopper passes by very quickly, paint in a calico of colours splattered across the droid.

Following Chopper is the chorus of impending disaster.

If he weren’t so apprehensive thinking of all the potential things those loth rats were up to he’d be quite impressed with their hyena impressions.

“Hey Kallus,” Ezra emerges first, hands clasped suspiciously behind his back. Trying very hard and failing spectacularly to hide his grin.

“Whatever you lot are up to back there, I don’t want to know,” Kallus answers quickly, turning back to his datapad. And having to re-read the same line the fourth time over.

“Up to something? Us? We’re not up to something, are we Sabine?”

Sabine peeks around the corner next, not even trying to hide her smirk, “No, I don’t believe we are. We would never be up to something. Not us. Couldn’t be.”

Zeb following Ezra into the main room with his ears forward and eyes gleaming is most definitely never, ever a good sign.

“Oh look,” Zeb starts, the words clearly rehearsed. “I wonder how those mice got in here!”

Sabine scans the ship, looking at nothing in particular. “Mice? What mice–”

“Oh no! Mice, on the Ghost? What ever will we do?!” Ezra collapses back against the wall with all the dramatic grace of loth cat falling over.

Kallus is about to snap at them to knock of whatever this game is, when he hears the telltale squeak of one of his MSE droids.

Although, it seems to be more of an actual mouse now.

The brown-white-and-black splashed across Chopper earlier makes more sense now. complete with felt ears, a tiny tail, and drawn on mouse-face the poor thing is no longer the burnished grey of metal but bright patches of golden brown-and-white.

The first one isn’t alone. The other two are painted one grey and the other black-and-white. The same little ears stuck on top, same little faces complete with whiskers, and the most ridiculous tail stuck to the back.

“Looks like a real mischief of mice in here,” Ezra beams, gesturing at their handiwork.

It takes a long time for him to find any words, because of any possible outcomes this wasn’t one of them. MSE droid. But now they are mice. Ordinarily anyone messing with whatever droid he’s working on would get harsh words, but then the thought occurs to him: he’s been included in their family pranks.

He’s no stranger to them, but usually as a bystander caught in the crossfire. He’s heard the infamous tale of Chopper pulling the support bolts from Ezra’s bunk, the moment painted on their cabin wall. Besides that, usually it involves someone stealing something, and ends with Chopper trying to electrocute someone else.

“What the actual kriff.”

It’s the most eloquent thing he can put together.

“Mouse? Mice? Get it?” Ezra prompts.

Sabine checks him a little harder than necessary, hissing at him that it’s not funny if he has to explain it.

“Pancake.”

It’s the spectres’ turn to look at him strangely.

“I had a pet mouse as a child. A cream mouse, named Pancake. Well, pet might be a loose term when it was more I fed this wild mouse who lived under the kitchen sink.”

Ezra hums thoughtfully, his expression flickering. “You know, you never struck me as the type for pets.”

“And that means what, exactly?” Kallus scolds himself internally at that, what’s he going to accomplish picking a fight with this child?

“It means it’s good. You aren’t completely soul-crushingly evil or anything.”  

“Ezra, has anyone told you to think before you say stupid things?” Zeb growls, knocking Ezra’s shoulder.

“Thank you, I think,” Kallus nods, still not quite sure what’s happening and why. If they were trying to annoy him off their ship, he’s more puzzled than anything.

“So you like it or not? Look, we spent way too long and I invested way too much of my good paint for you to look like a bird who hit a window. No Ezra, you can’t throw him through glass again.” Sabine stares at Kallus expectantly, one hand on her hip in a way that’s eerily similar to Hera.

He’s never going to hear the end of that.

“Yes, no, I mean- It’s very… cute.”

Sabine, seemingly happy with the reply grins. “All I needed to hear. C’mon Ezra, we better go see where Hera and Kanan snuck off to.”

The pair skip off down the ramp, Ezra’s voice carrying. “He said the word cute, are you sure this is the same guy?”

“You really had a mouse called Pancake?” Zeb snorts once the kids are gone.

“Well, I was hardly going to call him something ridiculous like Kitchen Scrub-brush was I?” The reply comes out entirely too fast, and entirely too high pitched to be composed.

“Easy tiger, ‘m not insulting your childhood mouse’s honour.”

“This is going on the list of things I’m never going to hear the end of isn’t it?”

Zeb just laughs, nudging Kallus’ shoulder, “Nope. Not a chance.”

“Fearsome warrior Kallus, and his loyal pet… Pancake the Mouse who Lives Under his Sink.”

Kallus groans, turning his head away to try hide the flush across his cheeks. “He really liked pancakes.”

“Well, you gonna name these ones after food too?” Zeb looks at the m(ou)se droids. “If not, I vote you call one Kitchen Scrub-brush. Maybe the grey one, that one looks the most ridiculous.”

If nothing, the new paint jobs prompt a lengthy and loud debate that night over what the droids are to be called between all the spectres. Chopper seems insistent on one being called words Kallus isn’t sure even teenagers should be hearing. Zeb votes loudly for Kitchen Scrub-brush, and Kallus’ flustered attempts at other names only egg the spectres on.

For the first time, he doesn’t feel like he’s on the outside looking in on the family.

(And, if Kallus is able to use the distraction to get Pancake the Second from his pocket back to his quarters unnoticed, well he’s not going to complain about that either.)

[twisted-fics]

Announcement

A Malleona fic

"Ugh...I don't want to do this…" Leona groaned as they walked through his home.

Malleus placed a hand on his shoulder, "Leona, it'll be ok, we'll just tell them of our relationship and then we can go back to the school".

Leona sighed and nodded as they arrived, "I'll go see my family, sit and wait until I call for you".

Malleus nodded, kissing Leona's cheek softly before he watched him walk off down a hall.

Leona walked into the room only to be greeted with excited cheers from his family.

"Oh Leona! My little cub I'm so proud of you!" His mother told him.

"Finally found yourself a good one huh?" His father asked.

"Can't wait to meet her!" His brother said excitedly.

Leona sighed, "Yeah,Yeah, whatever…" he groaned, "Meet-"

Suddenly Leona was swept off his feet, he looked up at what was holding him to see Malleus, staring at his family, he smirked triumphantly.

"It's nice to meet you all" Malleus said, bowing slightly, "I'm Malleus Draconia, your son's partner".

His family went quiet, staring up at the towering fae who silently continued to stare back at them as he set Leona back on his feet.

"This...is a joke...right Leona…?" His brother asked, laughing nervously.

"Yes it's just a prank…" his mother trailed off.

"No more jokes Leona, where is your real partner? The lioness?" His father questioned him.

"Ah ah ah," Leona started, "I simply said I found a partner, I never specified sex or species".

His father growled, "Enough! You will not fool me! I won't have my son marry a man, much less some fae!"

"Really? Now you care about what I'm doing? Ignored me for years and years, practically disowned me when I chose to study at a different school than my dear brother...that's low, especially for you." Leona said as he glared at his family.

His brother stepped in, "Leona stop this! We've always cared for you!"

Leona started to laugh, "That's definitely a lie coming from you, remember why I have this scar in the first place, dear brother".

"T-that's-!" His brother stuttered.

"Oh that's right, I should probably tell you, we already have kids, don't we Mal?"

Malleus looked confused for a second but then realized, "Oh right, I have pictures", he pulled out his phone and showed it to Leona's family who gasped upon seeing them.

"N-no...that cannot be…" his mother said quietly.

Leona laughed again, "That's right, we have two kids, one of which just happens to be-"

"Don't say it!" His father yelled.

"A hyena~"

His father stomped over and grabbed Leona by the shirt collar, "You were never to associate with those foul creatures! How could you go and call one your child?!"

Leona grabbed his wrist, smirking, "Simple, I smuggled him into the palace years ago, I found him on the streets, I took in a poor starving cub of a species you always sneered upon".

Malleus then walked over and pushed Leona's father off of him, glaring at him, "Don't touch him, don't ever touch Leona again".

Leona's brother ran in front of his father, "How dare you push my father you-" he was then slapped by Leona.

"Save it for your wife and that little hairball! As soon as I walk out that door I know you'll all be thrilled and cut me out of your lives! So good riddance and thanks for nothing!" Leona shouted before linking his arm with Malleus and leaving.

They both walked out of the palace, ignoring the shouts of the family inside, Malleus was looking ahead when he felt Leona shaking and looked at him, noticing small tears in his eyes and stopping.

"Leona? What's wrong?" He asked.

Leona hiccuped and looked at Malleus, the tears spilling over, "They...they just let me go so easily...they always have...they never were my family were they?" He asked before starting to sob quietly.

Malleus frowned and cupped Leona's face in his hands, kissing him and then pulling away, "You don't need them Leona, you never did, they weren't your family but that's ok because we have a family of our own at home and that's what matters".

"You...promise you won't leave me…?" Leona asked quietly.

"I promise, forever and always".

[scoopsgf]

what’s your take on james, because i think he’s also a character than we don’t get to see a lot of, and when we do it’s from snape’s perspective so i feel like he’s such a blank slate of a person all we know is that he was a good person who a lot of people though highly of and he liked to prank people

okay so I keep meaning to answer this ask like, i’ll check my inbox in the middle of the night and look at it and be like “i’ll answer that when the rest of the world is awake” and then promptly don’t. but ANYWAY!!

j a m e s

goblin boy!! the light of my life!! honestly in my head he’s such a complex character, and all of this is based off of like, what I’ve talked about with fran and my own personal thoughts, not really jkr’s characterisation given like. I mean where was it. it wasn’t even there.

but anyway: James. he. boy. idiot buffoon child. he’s literally the most tactless piece of shit you’ll ever meet. like he’s good all the way through, but he spent his entire childhood with only his elderly parents for company, which means that there’s like this rocky adjustment period for him where he has to actually learn how to socialise with kids his own age. i absolutely love the idea that he just talks like an old man and everyone thinks it’s just one of his eccentric quirks, but it’s really because he has no idea how the fuck to talk like a kid.

he’s temperamental. a natural born leader but completely unaware of it and horribly insecure. he overcompensates in areas he doesn’t even need to compensate for at all, like quidditch, which he has a natural affinity for. the moron thinks he’s bad at it. he throws up before every game. fran and i both agree that his first child was really his stomach ulcer, not harry. he’s desperate to prove himself in every capacity, especially if he’s challenged in something. like, if snape insults his potions abilities, james potter will study from dawn until dusk until he can upstage snape consistently.

he loves. like, deeply and madly and truly. openly, like a gaping wound that bleeds all over the floor. he’s absolutely head over heels for all of his friends and would defend them to his last breath. he doesn’t hold back his affections and would 10/10 snog sirius both to see what it was like and just because Who Gives A Fuck.

he’s reckless with himself. it infuriates Remus to absolutely no end. “James, wear your kneepads during quidditch practise.” “No, I’m not twelve.” “James, you still have knees no matter how old you are.” “No.”

he’s very protective and his antagonistic relationship with lily evans, for six whole years, is based almost entirely on misunderstandings and him overstepping his bounds out of genuine concern for her wellbeing. lily thinks he’s a misogynistic ponce who should mind his own business. james thinks she’s mad to still hang out with a greasy git who treats her so terribly and is clearly only using her to fill some kind of void in his life.

foolish gremlin child. he likes the weirdest fucking foods. everything that the common folk hate, he adores. brussel sprouts? scrumptious. boiled cabbage? shoves it right down the gob. fruitcake? festive and delicious! he either laughs like a hyena or a drunken pig, there is no middle ground. he’s an old man in a teenage boy’s body and has absolutely no shame. he has no shame about anything, actually, and will openly flirt with minerva mcgonagall in front of the entire student body just for a laugh. is usually the instigator in wanting to prank, but it’s remus or peter who come up with the prank ideas themselves. sirius just throws punches and tosses hexes out like dollar bills at a strip club.

my god. I’ve gone on. I’m so sorry. i love him. Fran, if you have anything to add, please do.

[vannahfanfics]

The Joys of Fatherhood

Category: Family Fluff

Fandom: Gintama

Characters: Tae Shimura, Gintoki Sakata

Requested By: Anonymous User

“Gintoki!” 

Gintoki wrinkled his nose in distaste as his wife’s voice floated in from the entryway. Whenever she called him by his full name, it usually meant that he was either being scolded, inconvenienced, or both. Even after years of marriage, Gintoki was not so much in her favor to spare himself from her ire, so he peeled himself from the living room floor. Though his limbs moved, his eyes remained glued to the weather report on the screen until the very last second that his body was passing into the hallway. 

“Yeah?” he finally addressed Tae, head swiveling from a nearly one-eighty degree turn to look at her. She stood in front of the front door, slipping on her shoes and holding her clutch. Their young children ran in a circle around her, giggling loudly as they tugged insistently at the hem of her cotton kimono. 

“Mama, Mama, let us go too!” Their older child Shouyo, who was five, pleaded as he used both his hands to pull at the skirt like it would make a difference. His sister, three-year-old Ayano, parroted his words before stuffing her fist in her mouth and sucking on it. Gintoki was caught somewhere between disgust and affection as he watched drool pool at the edges of her lips and begin to dribble down her tiny wrist. 

Tae responded with a motherly tut and patted the tops of both their heads. 

“My dears, I have to go shopping in town. Mama will bring you back something nice, but please stay here with Papa today, okay?” 

Simultaneously, the two toddlers turned to fix their eyes on their tall, lanky father. As if a switch flipped, they released unearthly squeals and bounded forward to begin dashing in circles around him. Gintoki grimaced as Ayano gripped the bottom of his yukata with her grimy, spit-coated hand. 

Tae smiled charmingly at Gintoki as his frown deepened into a scowl, pink gums on full display. “Honey, I’ll be back in an hour or so. Please watch them for me?” It was phrased as a question. Gintoki theoretically could refuse. 

But he didn’t. He’d married the woman, first of all. Secondly, Gintoki Sakata was many things, but a deadbeat dad was not one of them. 

“Yeah,” he droned in a small sigh, but a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. Tae hummed happily at his compliance, giving the three of them a little wave before she opened the front door. Ayano had finally discovered that her hand was covered in spit and began to shrilly scream, making Gintoki grimace. “Just don’t take too long, okay?” he asked in a pleading voice. 

Tae giggled and mouthed, “You’ll be fine,” before trotting out onto the porch and shutting the door behind her. 

Gintoki exhaled tiredly as the latch clicked, exhausted though his wife hadn’t even been gone five seconds. Ayano had plopped down on her butt, holding up her slobbery fist as fat tears rolled down her round cheeks and shrieking wails spilled from her gaping mouth. Gintoki rubbed the back of his neck as he regarded his screeching daughter puzzledly. 

“Ayano, Ayano,” he sighed as he crouched down to wrap his hand around her tiny wrist. “Why are you crying? It’s just spit. It can’t hurt you.” The baby girl stopped wailing for a second to blink blearily at him, sucking her snot back up into her nose. She reminds me a little of Kagura, Gintoki thought amusedly. The girl cocked her head to the side slightly as she beheld her glistening fingers. 

“Look, all you have to do is wipe it off,” he said as he tugged her to her feet. The girl giggled, refusing to bear weight on her legs so Gintoki could lift her like a ragdoll. He was careful to leave at least her feet dragging against the floor so that he didn’t risk wrenching her shoulder out of socket as he carted her into the kitchen, Shouyo following behind curiously. Gintoki snagged a dishcloth from the counter to wipe the goop from her fist. “See? All clean.” 

Ayano blinked at her now-dry hand, gave Gintoki a bright smile, and then shoved her clenched fist back into her mouth. Gintoki grimaced and just watched his daughter suck on her chubby hand. This is gonna be a long couple of hours, he thought with a small groan and rubbed his face tiredly. 

“Papa,” Shouyo asked quietly, tugging on the hem of Gintoki’s kimono. The white-haired man grunted and looked inquiringly down at his son. “M’hungry.” 

“Hungry? Mama didn’t make you lunch before she left?” That was usually Tae’s policy before running out on errands. Somehow the woman had mastered the art of cooking, though Gintoki had to stomach the myriad of trials and tribulations on the rough road to her culinary prowess. 

Shouyo puffed out his lips into a small pout. 

“Well, yeah, but… I’m still hungry. I want sweets.” 

Gintoki had to laugh; that was definitely his son, all right. He smiled in amusement down at the boy and ruffled his hair affectionately, making Shouyo smile happily. 

“All right, all right, but don’t tell Mama I let you squirts have sweets before dinner, okay? She’ll plow me through the wall, and not in a fun way,” he chuckled as he began rifling through the cabinets. After a few moments of critically inspecting the goods occupying his kitchen, he procured a container of ginger cookies coated in powdered sugar. 

His children tottered at his heels as he strode across the tatami flooring to the table. He set the box down and then grabbed Ayano under her armpits to hoist her into the chair. “Uuuuuup we go,” he grunted as he lifted her up while his daughter squealed and kicked her chubby legs elatedly. Shouyo clambered into the chair beside her, and Gintoki discreetly leaned on its rounded back as it teetered dangerously on two legs. 

“Cookies!” Shouyo squalled demandingly and slammed his fists down on the table. Ayano mimicked her elder brother, filling the air with a rhythmic pounding. Gintoki momentarily considered the efficacy of duct-taping them to the furniture and opting to just shovel cookies into their mouths. 

Tae would drop kick him through the floorboards if he did, so he saved that solution as a last resort. 

“All right, all right!” Gintoki shouted over his children’s insistent shouts and reached for the box of cookies. He tore it open with little ceremony, poured several onto plates, and then set them in front of the kids. They dove into the dishes before he’d even put them onto the wood. Gintoki watched, a little disturbed, as they tore into them ravenously, shredding them in their teeth like hyenas ripping apart a zebra carcass. He debated getting a cookie or two for himself but was admittedly a little frightened they’d sink their teeth into his hand, too. 

“Papa, don’t you want a cookie?” Ayano asked through plump, stuffed cheeks with cookie crumbs and powdered sugar coating her lips. Without awaiting his answer, the little girl held out her plate to him, offering up the last remaining cookie. “Here you go!” 

Gintoki had to admit, his heart warmed a little. 

“Why, thank you, Aya—” 

With a devious snicker, Shouyo plucked the ginger cookie from the plate and crammed it into his mouth. Gintoki just gawked at the now empty plate, rapidly going through the five stages of grief as his son relished in his cruel, insensitive prank. His little eyes glittered as he chewed on the cookie, and every crunch of its sweet crispiness broke Gintoki’s heart a little more until nothing remained but shattered shards of hopelessness. 

“Hey! That was not for you!” Ayano screeched angrily. She slammed the plate against the table and stood up in the chair, fumbling for the box of cookies. Gintoki just watched tiredly, thinking the child was just going to get another one for him. 

Instead, she dumped the box of cookies into Shouyo’s hair. 

The scream Shouyo released as sugar powder cascaded into his hair and face and cookies bounced off his head was ear-splitting. Gintoki’s body sagged as the cookies crashed onto the floor, splitting into pieces and spreading gingery sugar bits everywhere. Ayano cackled triumphantly and threw the box in Shouyo’s face to add insult to injury. Shouyo began to sob, the tears cutting rivers through the sugar coating his cheeks, and pointed angrily at Ayano. 

“She’s a meanie!” 

“You’re the meanie!” Ayano accused. “You stole Papa’s cookie!” 

“I want Tae,” Gintoki moaned and slammed his forehead against the rim of the table a few times. His children continued to squabble over his head, and Gintoki felt powdered sugar raining into his silvery hair as they flung it back and forth at each other. 

“All right. All right!” Gintoki griped in a raised voice, sitting up. The two children immediately froze, looking at him doe-eyed. Gintoki suppressed his strong desire to yell because he and Tae tried not to scold their children that way. Seeing the two coated head-to-toe in ginger cookie dust made that so very difficult, but he managed. 

“That’s enough of that now,” he exhaled sharply while pinching the bridge of his nose. “While I appreciate the back-up, Ayano, you should not have dumped cookies on your brother’s head.” 

Shouyo was still sniffling pitifully, trying to cheer himself up by licking all the crumbs from his face that his little pink tongue could reach. Ayano screwed up her face bitterly and crossed her arms with an exaggerated huff, making a show of glaring at her brother. Gintoki nudged her in the side of the head with his elbow a few times. Soon, she began giggling and swatting at his arm. 

“Papaaaaa!” she squealed and hung on his arm with a cheesy smile. Gintoki couldn’t help but smile back. His kinds may be hellions in the making, but damn it, they were so cute. 

“Apologize to Shouyo, Ayano.” 

“Do I have to?” 

“Yes, you have to, or I will tell your mother when she gets home,” Gintoki insisted with a raised eyebrow. Ayano’s face scrunched up in distaste. Tae definitely was in charge in their chaotic little family and did most of the disciplining in the household. The children were not fond of her stern talking-tos. 

Gintoki really wasn’t fond of them, either. 

“I’m sorry, Shouyo,” Ayano said begrudgingly. Shouyo, who had inherited a sweeter disposition (though they had no idea where from), nodded forgivingly as he wiped at his eyes. 

“S’okay, Ayano. I shouldn’t have taken the cookie. I was jus’ tryin’ ta be funny…” 

“Well, whatever the case, it’s over now,” Gintoki cut in before Ayano could jump into the assault again. “You’ve both gone and made a mess. What’re we going to do about that, huh? Mama will not be happy to come home and clean up, now will she?” 

The two children shook their heads in unison. 

“Right. Now, first things first, you’re going to get a bath, and then we’ll come back and clean up, all right?” 

“Yes, Papa!” they chimed. 

Gintoki inhaled in relief. Crisis successfully diffused. The children climbed down from the table and dashed off to the bathroom, leaving a trail of powdered sugar and cookie crumbs in their wake. Gintoki stared at it tiredly, already dreading the clean-up effort he’d have to undertake. Take it in stride, he told himself wearily as he headed after his children before they could tear apart the bathroom. I don’t want to hear anyone chide me about ‘the joys of fatherhood’ ever again, he thought, but the fond smile tugging at his lips betrayed him. 

Somehow, he managed to avoid any more disastrous catastrophes while giving his son and daughter a bath, though he did have to chase Ayano buck-naked around the house trying to dry her off. He only caught her when he slipped in the puddled water and flopped right on his back; she came to check on him, giving him the prime opportunity to strike and wrap her up in the fluffy towel. After dressing them, he limped to the kitchen, nursing his aching back while the two children were glued to the television watching their favorite afternoon cartoon. Gintoki deflated as soon as he saw the mess he had to clean, leaning against the counter with a groan. 

Tae found him there thirty minutes later, laying on the floor with his arm slung over his eyes, snoozing. She crouched down beside him with an amused hum and stroked his bangs out of his face when he lifted his arm to gaze tiredly at her. 

“Worn out?” 

“Mhmm.” 

“Apparently, you’re not the only one.” 

Gintoki looked down with raised eyebrows to see his children curled into his side, one on each side. Shouyo had his thumb stuck between his lips, while Ayano, snoring quietly, had her tiny hand latched onto the front of his shirt. A smile bloomed on Gintoki’s lips, and he reached down to gently stroke her hair while using the other to hug Shouyo to his side. Tae watched him with eyes lidded in pure love. 

She then tapped her thighs, making to get up and mumbling something about making dinner. Gintoki’s hand snatched up to pull her down on her rump, making her squeak in shock. Gintoki forcibly maneuvered her to snuggle next to him. As Ayano was squeezed between them, she mumbled something incoherent before flipping on her side to nuzzle into Tae’s stomach. Tae smiled as her daughter pawed at her front, then looked unsurely at Gintoki. 

“Gintoki! What about dinner?” 

“Later,” he groaned, tucking her head into his shoulder. “Nap first.” 

Tae’s face scrunched up like she wanted to argue. Then, she released a quiet sigh and obediently cuddled into him, looping her arm over the front of his chest. As she hummed in contentment, Gintoki closed his eyes, drifting back into the comfortable twilight of half-sleep. 

The joys of fatherhood, all right, he thought with a small smile as he hugged his family a little closer. Who knew…

Enjoy this oneshot? Feel free to peruse my Table of Contents!

[windandwater]

When my grandfather on my dad’s side passed away, I wrote up a piece with just one family story after another about the experience. I can’t really do the same thing in the same way this time, but I am finding that, in every death, family draws tighter together and tells stories to each other almost on instinct, finding common ground around this one person who shaped us.

Here are some stories that have come out of the last few weeks.

*

I will warn you that the story of my mom’s family has a dark side—her biological mother was physically, emotionally, and psychologically abusive. My grandfather was the one who saved his children from her and thus I can’t speak of him without speaking of her as well. I ended up only telling one story that involves her and it has a content warning at the beginning as well as a note for when the story ends.

*

In his eulogy, my step-uncle said that my grandfather, his stepfather, taught him that “family isn’t about biology. It’s about love.”

Well, he was the one who taught me that too, only not because I had crappy parents. Until he remarried, mom had a crappy parent and a good parent, and the good parent held the family together and shaped us in ways that I’m still only beginning to find out.

*

CW CHILD ABUSE

(Note: I’m referring to her as my mom’s bio-mom or by her initials, NW.)

The custody battle was brutal, and it went all the way to the state supreme court. Fathers didn’t get custody back then—my mom says “abuse” wasn’t even in the lexicon in the initial court cases.

We found this out because my brother & his girlfriend googled my grandfather and this is what came up. They read the deposition and initially my brother was uncomfortable with her seeing it, but my mom said it grazed the surface—and as I told him, the only reason I don’t going around telling people that my mom’s bio mom did stuff like frequently sprain her wrist from beating them is that it’s not exactly the kind of thing you dump on people without warning, not because it’s a secret or because my mom doesn’t want me to talk about it.

I’ve known for a long time that when I was really little, my mom once found herself with her hands around my throat, freaked the fuck out, and from that moment had to second guess every inch of her parenting and her actions around us, because she had no instincts to fall back on. I didn’t need to read “choking her eldest daughter” as an example of abuse in a court case to know that that happened to my mom.

Anyway, the psychological abuse always scared me more. Because my mom won’t talk about it much.

END CW

*

Apparently, even though moms are perfect angels who should always get child custody and can do no wrong to children, word was getting around about her and someone offered to “take care of the problem” for $150.

My grandfather never would’ve said yes to that, and he decided to try the legal route first. But he was ready to take the kids and run, if he didn’t get custody. Leave his job, fake name, move to Phoenix, everything. I’m beyond thankful that didn’t have to happen but also beyond relieved that he was ready to.

*

He never spoke a single ill word about NW.

*

I was very disappointed about missing the funeral in person. I was hoping they’d have it after my ankle surgery so I could at least be propped up in a corner somewhere, high on Vicodin maybe, but there.

Honestly I’m disappointed about a lot of things this month.

The day before the funeral, my dad came in with a picture showing me the outside of the house. There was a rainbow. A little one, but a rainbow.

I of course dragged my ass out of my sickbed, hopped my way out there, and made him set up a chair so I could see it too.

*

There’s a reason I run a side blog of rainbows. There’s a personal & private story there, but what you need to know is that in dark moments, I often look for rainbows or have literal rainbows sent my way. They bring me hope every time. I sat outside, foot hurting and sweating all over from the heat, watching the rainbow fade, knowing it was going to be okay.

I haven’t always gotten along with my cousins on that side of the family. They grew up in Louisiana and are much closer to each other, so there’s a lot of gaps to bridge and we taller, dark-haired city people from Yankee land who clung close to each other and weren’t used to big families always kind of stuck out a bit among the short blondes who had always lived in the South in a big insane group of cousins and step-cousins.

We’ve gotten closer more recently. It’s trendy to hate on your family on facebook, but interacting on social media has given me some separation between the stuff that makes me roll my eyes about my cousins and the stuff that endears me to them.

And it was through facebook that we came together because of one simple fact: we all had the same, terrible morning.

We all woke up first thing to our moms, broken in half themselves, breaking our hearts too.

*

I get told that I laugh and smile a lot. Sometimes I’m even told that in non-creepy ways! And it’s true. I sometimes think I exist moment to moment trying to find something new to make me laugh. I learned that from my parents, who will watch or listen to just about anything if it’s funny. I learned to tell stories from them too, to take all my experiences and find the good the bad and the funny in everything.

My mom is my best audience. She laughs like a hyena at all my stories, my good lines and my bad lines. She’ll laugh at jokes that I *know* aren’t funny, at the ones that I think are hilarious but no one else laughed at, and she laughs the hardest of all at the jokes I’m extremely proud of and that land really well nearly every time.

Her whole family’s like that. Head thrown back, laughing hysterically, whole conversations just an excuse to try and make each other laugh.

Her dad, too. Just as loud and as hard as the rest of them. He had a giggle, and also a cackle. He used to give points when someone said something particularly funny, let out a really good zinger, or “won” a round of conversation. He’d just grin, solemnly lick his finger, and draw a “1” in the air.

*

He liked pranks. I’ve told story after story on my blog about how my family likes to mess with each other at Christmas. My mom’s saying is that “there’s no such thing as a lie at Christmas”, meaning that your gift is late or it wasn’t in stock or we can’t do it this year, I haven’t found a gift for you so you’re just getting candy? Not lies.

Except it’s not her saying. It’s his.

Anything that arrives at the house in December gets wrapped up and put under the tree; it’s automatically a gift. You think that trick of wrapping things in progressively smaller boxes is a prank? Amateur hour. I’ve wrapped up individual pieces of candy, individual matryoshka dolls, and yes, the smallest git in the largest box but also filled the box with packing peanuts to make it extra annoying.

I learned all of this from my mother.

But he taught it to her.

If I find hideous things to give my brother, it’s because my mom’s family rotated a Velvet Elvis, giving it to each other, for years. If my mom watched in stoic silence as my dad tore the house apart for looking something they got in Arizona that was wrapped up under the tree, it’s because someone wrapped up two huge boxes for my grandfather that he was excited to open, that turned out to be two light fixtures he’d ordered and forgotten about.

We never lost the magic of Christmas in my house. If anything it got more magical, more fun to surprise each other and find funny and creative ways to show each other how much we care. Gift giving is an art form in my family and I look forward to it every year.

It’s all because of my grandfather.

*

I learned so many things from my parents that they in turn learned from my grandfather. Even my dad learned a lot from him as his father-in-law, because it was impossible not to look up to him, and he was a teacher in his profession and by nature. Everyone talked so much at the funeral and afterwards about how he could fix anything, build anything, do, anything.

I was called “Tinker” at one of my old jobs for how I was always fixing everyone’s computer and the various office machinery. I didn’t necessarily know how until I sat down and looked at it. I just knew how to figure it out.

I always thought I learned that from my parents, which I guess is still true, but now I know who they passed it on to me from.

One thing I always associated with my mom was that any time she saw a pile of my necklaces in a knotted mess, she would sit down an untangle them for me. I never asked her to do that; she would just see them, and sit down and start working on them. She always got a specific look of concentration on her face as she did.

My dad and I were talking after the funeral and he mentioned my grandfather doing that exact thing in our house at ninety-something years old. He has a picture of it. I knew without seeing it exactly what the expression on his face would be.

It’s now one of my favorite pictures of him.

*

There was technical trouble with the Zoom funeral, which was pretty disastrous—I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t able to attend due to health & other problems. For someone so beloved, so central to the family, who we all owe so much to but don’t even think of it that way because he was so fun and easy to love…well, funerals are for the living, and not being able to be there in person hurt, bad, and I know I wasn’t the only one who felt that way. We were relying on being able to attend digitally.

But most of the world is still getting used to doing things over video, and certainly the older couple running the funeral home was a bit clueless. I, on the other hand, ran video calls (not over Zoom, but still) almost daily for 2 years while I was an admin and we had remote employees calling in to meetings. So as soon as I realized exactly what was causing the problem, I got on the phone with the funeral home and did my best to salvage what we could.

And then I pulled the recording for everyone (thank goodness it was recorded).

And then before I watched it I wrote up some instructions, with screenshots, for the funeral home for next time, because they genuinely didn’t know what to do and I wanted to make sure the next family had an easier time and if the problem is just understanding technology, I know how to help with that! I’m good at figuring out and explaining this stuff! It’s just what you do—you help people when you can! You know?

And then I watched the funeral, and listened to my uncle talk about my grandfather always fixing things, and always teaching people.

And I just broke down. Because I knew. I knew who I was.

If the legacy I carry is that of someone who can’t resist helping others by teaching and fixing problems, then may I never ever ever let go of that legacy.

My mother called me to tell me that when they realized what was going on and what I was doing, my uncles both said the same thing, that “that was Papa.”

*

The only good part about any of this is that I’m here with my mom right now. She talked to him all the time before he died but she didn’t get to see him, and she keeps saying things like how she wishes she could tell him the good joke she heard. She’ll casually talk about the depression she’s fighting off.

I didn’t want a broken ankle to strand me here but there are worse times to be stuck with my mom.

[justanartdork]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA, I'M SORRY BREE, AFTER THESE TWO, THESE ARE MY LAST CHILD OC FOR THE ORPHANAGE-

THE GORL:

Name: Genxiva (Pronounced "Jen-ziv-uh." Goes by Xiva, pronounced "Zee-vuh")

Age: 14

Gender: Female

Species: Hyena

Height: 5'2"

Personality: Well, my girl, Xiva here is kinda a jokester. She likes laughing, goofing off, playing practical jokes and pranks, doesn't really take a lot of things seriously, and likes to break the tension with a subtle joke, or two. She does know when it's time to be serious, though.

Short Bio: In life, Xiva was the class clown. Playing pranks on kids and teachers alike. Most of her so called "jokes" ended in the victim either getting severely injured, or even killed. But she didn't care. She saw it all as one big innocent joke. One time, she'd thought it'd be HILARIOUS if she taunted a bear with some salmon. The bear did get it's salmon, and took Xiva's life right along with it.

Any other interesting info: She and her lil bro(Comin soon) wound up in Crestina's Auction House when Xiva tried pickpocketing some of the items to sell herself, and she would've gotten away with it if her brother hadn't broken something.

Ref: *See above*

And DA BOI:

Name: Blazan (Likes being called Blaze)

Age: 6

Gender: Male

Species: Hyena

Height: 2"3

Personality: He's kind of a happy go lucky kid who just wants to help and make the other kiddos smile. He tries especially to get Tillie to smile, though, because, according to him, she never smiles anymore.

Short Bio: As kid in the overworld, he didn't really like Mae all that much. Kinda despised her. They're cool now, but back then, they were enemies. So one day, when the cute little kindergarten class went to a picnic by a lake, Blaze took it as an oppertunity to push her in in hopes that she drowned. And lucky for him, she did. And some other kid saw Mae fall in the lake, and Blaze standing right next to the edge. The kid told a teacher, and the teacher asked him what happened. But he didn't want to confess to murdering another student, so he lied and said that she fell in and drowned before he could grab her hand and save her. They believed him, and he got off easy. Until he and his parents got into a car crash. The parents survived, but Blaze did not.

Any other interesting info: Even in his time at the auction house, he still kept trying to look on the bright side of things. He also likes warm cuddles with his big sister.

Ref: *Also see above*

Crestina's auction house and Hallow's orphanage belong to @thatnicedeerdemon

Have a good day!