#and i can't move on with my task because my brain has decided i need to do them In Order and nothing else will be Correct

[youremyonlyhope]

why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up why won't my brain shut up

[underwhelmingalchemist]

The thing about being auDHD and having a girlfriend, who is also autistic as well as physically disabled, is that sometimes you have tasks that rely on the other doing something, and then when the other can't do it for whatever reason, you end up stuck because you can't clean the bed until you can put the hangers on it away and you can't put the hangers away until she finishes hanging up clothes and she can't hang up her clothes because she's in pain and lying down so you can't put away the hangers and you can't clean the bed and you need to do that next and can't get around those hangers so you're just standing there and staring at them unable to progress with your task until your girlfriend progresses with her task and she physically can't so you mentally can't and you can't be frustrated because she's in pain and you love her and want her to take care of yourself and if you seem frustrated she's going to push herself again and make it worse, so you end up sitting on the floor writing a tumblr post instead

(To be clear, I'm not upset with her, just frustrated with my brain's inflexibility)

[lucy90712]

Ooo part two of the request he runs into you with a rock on your finger and your newborn baby and he’s gutted. Gutted that the baby should’ve been his.

part 1 Jude's POV

"I'm sorry I just don't think we are right for each other" I said for what feels like the millionth time in the last few years 

Since seeing y/n again I decided that I needed to move on, I blocked her accounts on Instagram and deleted her contact off my phone so there was no temptation to talk to her or see what she has been doing. I thought that would help me move on but it hasn't I still think about her all the time. I never took down the pictures of us in my house because when I tried to do it the place felt so empty it no longer felt like a home so I put them back up. Everyone has told me that I just need to do it and move on in fact they tell me that I need to go to therapy and talk about my feelings but I don't want to as it's just too painful to talk about. 

Over the last few years I've tried to see other girls and some of them were so lovely but because they weren't y/n I just had no feelings towards them. There was always something that wasn't right some just wanted my fame and money and others just weren't my type. One girl was nearly perfect she was sweet and beautiful but I just couldn't make myself have feelings for her so I ended things. Nothing has ever gone beyond a few dates I kissed a few of the girls but never went any further and they certainly come back to my place as then I'd have it explain the pictures. All I've had is situationships and meaningless one night stands which is all I deserve after the way I treated the only girl I ever truly loved. 

After ending my last situationship I had to go for a walk on my own to clear my head as all of this is starting to get stupid. It has dawned on me that maybe I do need to go to therapy or talk to someone to work through what is stopping me from moving on and letting myself love someone else. My way of living solely in the past isn't healthy and it's starting to really ruin my life as I'm not letting myself enjoy going on dates and finding someone who is right for me. It seems like an impossible task right now to move on but I know I can do it y/n did it so why can't I. Going outside and letting myself think has given me a new lease of life I'm ready to go home and and finally take down the pictures and remove all the other things that remind me of y/n even if the house feels bare for a while I can add things that have no memories tied to them. 

Just as I made it to the park near my house to just sit and think with no one else around I saw someone sat on the bench I usually sit on by the lake. It was a couple with a newborn baby but I couldn't see either of their faces at first. A few seconds later they moved and I nearly fainted when I saw who it was. It was y/n and Carlos with what must be their baby and y/n had a ring on her finger so they must be engaged. My friends told me that she moved out of Madrid a while ago and hasn't really been back but here she is right in front of me. I haven't seen her since the first night I saw her with Carlos and I thought I'd never see her again but there she is on the day I decide that I need to move on. The universe really has awful timing but I guess seeing her living her life with another man is all the more reason to move on. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Your POV

"Did I leave my rings in the bathroom?" I asked Carlos from the bedroom 

"Yeah they are here I'll bring them out" he said 

"Thank you I had to take them off to wash my hands after she was sick and then completely forgot about putting them back on I swear baby brain is going to kill me" I said 

"It's ok you don't need to stress about it if you forget to put your rings on I don't care as long as you and little one are ok nothing else matters" Carlos said handing me back my rings 

"I'm so glad we are here getting to see friends has made me feel so much more human and not like I've just crawled out of the grave" I joked

"See I told you getting away from home and having a different routine would be good you've been at home for over a month now it's good to get back some sense of normality" he said 

"How about we go for a walk in the park before we meet everyone later" I suggested 

"Sounds good I'll get the baby in the stroller" Carlos said

Carlos has been the best since the baby arrived 5 weeks ago of course he still has practice sessions but every second he can he spends helping me and making sure I'm ok as well as the baby. I couldn't ask for a better husband he has been the best partner since we got together but he really stepped it up once we got engaged a year and a half ago. It's crazy to think we have been together for 4 years now and married for nearly 1 especially when we met at such an awful time in my life but Carlos has truly shown me the bright side of life. 

Walking the streets of Madrid and going to the park I used to walk through when I lived here feels a little bit weird I haven't been here since I moved away 3 years ago but this place holds a lot of memories some good some bad but the bad memories are so far in the past they almost don't matter anymore. As Carlos pushed the stroller while holding my hand as I walked next to him I couldn't help but think about the last time I came to this park which is when I broke up with Jude. After ending things I didn't know where to go so I came here and just cried my eyes out which I think is my lowest moment in life but yet here I am just a few years later at my happiest with my perfect little family. 

We walked around for a while before the baby got fussy so we sat down on a bench by the lake so I could feed her before we meet friends for dinner. It was lovely and peaceful as there was hardly anyone else around so we sat there and talked for a while even after the baby had eaten and fallen asleep again. Eventually we had to leave so I had to place the baby back in her stroller as slowly as I could as not to wake her which is a skill I've developed since she was born. As we turned around to leave I saw someone else walking down the path in the park who looked familiar then I realised it was Jude. 

I haven't seen him since that night in the club years ago now and honestly until today I haven't really thought about him it's been so long that I've moved on. Sure what he did was awful and ruined me for a while but things have changed and I don't like to hold a grudge so weirdly it was nice to see him as I have no idea how he's been since I left. 

~~~~~~~~~~

Jude's POV

Before I could turn around and go the other way she had noticed me and waved with a bright smile on her face the smile I used to love seeing everyday. Some weird force of nature was pulling me towards her I know I should just wave back and walk another way but I'm drawn to her something in me needs to be closer to her and talk to her again. It's this part of me that has stopped me from moving on but maybe seeing her one last time and having her tell me how happy she is in her new life will be what I need to hear to realise I have to move on. 

The closer I got the more obvious the ring on her finger became and that's when I could see that she actually had two rings a beautiful engagement ring that was very much her style and a wedding ring that was equally spectacular. She was never someone to love jewellery with big gem stones or anything hugely fancy so the two more understated but still tasteful rings are exactly what I knew she would've wanted. There was a time I looked at engagement rings for her but I never actually bought one and now I regret not just taking the plunge as then this could be us. Being closer to her also allowed me to see her baby in the stroller, the baby was very small so clearly a newborn and dressed in white with pink flowers so likely a girl. I could see a lot of y/n in the baby even though she's very small but the thick black hair stood out as a feature passed down from her now husband Carlos. It got me thinking what our kids would've looked like would they end up with her best features like her lips and her beautiful eyes and would we have boys or girls. A lot of hypotheticals were flowing around my brain. 

"Hi it's been so long how have you been?" She asked bringing me back to reality 

"I've been good life has been keeping me busy but it's been good" I lied as not to make her or myself feel bad 

"Congratulations on everything you've won with the team I hear you've done really well" she said 

"Thanks how have you been I see a lot has changed" I half joked 

"Yeah it's been a crazy few years but it's even crazier now that this little one has arrived she keeps us up at all hours of the day" she laughed 

"Well congrats she's beautiful" I said 

"Not when she's screaming at 3am" Carlos joked 

"It's been great to see you again but we have dinner with friends to get to it's been lovely to catch up I hope life keeps treating you well Jude" she said 

"You too I hope you all stay well" I said letting them leave 

I sat down in the bench the two of them were just sat on as they walked away while trying to tell myself that her walking away was her leaving my life for good and my signal to let go of the past. It still hurts that she's so ok without me while I've been a mess but I don't know what I expected she's always been such an amazing person so someone was always going to see that and want to be with her. I suppose I'm glad that Carlos seems like such a nice guy as I did want the best for her and he seems like the perfect husband so if it can't be me I'm glad it's him who can make her happy everyday. 

It's finally time to move on she has her life and clearly doesn't think about her time with me so it's time for me to do the same. No one will ever be her so I need to stop trying to find someone who is she might've been my first love but that doesn't mean she has to be my last. 

[low-poly-rat]

After a day I've decided to reopen my asks here on my art blog. I humbly ask that people only send me asks on-topic for this blog and/or DW drawing requests...

Very long, explanation under the cut...

I will eventually re-open my ask box on main... But please don't send GFM campaigns to me. I'm extremely ill, and normal, daily tasks are a very big struggle for me, and expecting me to also do activism/humanitarian work on top of my extremely rare debilitating migraines (Link goes to N.O.R.D.) has become impossible. I shouldn't have to explain the extent of my condition but I will anyways. I don't wish to close myself up out of malice; I'm just very, very ill... Much more ill than myself, my family, and my care specialists had originally thought.

Emotional distress, hormonal changes, trauma- are all causes of my Hemiplegic Attacks. I lose control of my left arm, my left leg, my left ear loses hearing, my left eye stops communicating with my brain, the left half of my face sags and I can't blink. When I talk, it makes me sound drunk. I can tell you my name, where I'm from, what day it is... but I can't move. I don't know where my limbs are in space. It's terrifying every time it happens, because it feels like the attacks are getting worse. I am afraid that one day it will be a stroke- and I won't come back from it.

I will continue to donate when I can, I will share/reblog campaigns my moots have shared and verified. I still believe in and support the Palestinian people, but I no longer have the physical or mental capacity to sift through that many asks to ensure I'm not being scammed anymore.

I am deeply sorry, I wish I could just will my illness away and keep plugging on, but there is no cure. There is no treatment or medication. There is only management of the symptoms, which includes removing myself from the situations that are causing the attacks.

I don't want pity, I just want to be seen and acknowledged for my disability. I'm sorry for being depressing, talking about this. I fucking hate talking about my condition because it makes people sad, but somebody needs to. It's an extremely rare disease (link) that very few people know about. I don't like the attention, and I don't like being pitied for my reality. I just want to make people smile and giggle or laugh. I just wanna be normal, and functional but its become extremely hard in this past year alone.

I won't talk anymore about this. I will try to go back to my regularly-scheduled silly posts... I just want to make people smile with my art. I hope that my art does make people smile. I like drawing things that make me giggle and I just wanted to spread that joy. I wanna spread my joy, and hopefully leave plenty of that joy behind before I eventually leave my flesh prison behind and go terrorize some celestial beings with my autism on my next adventure.

~Siggy

[script-a-world]

Submitted via Google Form:

Hi, I'm trying to figure out how effective would species with multiple arms can use them at the same time. I mean, say for fighting, it's well known that dual wielding is very much just a trope and while it's been done, research says it's less as effective. So yeah if I have an alien with 6 arms it doesn't mean I should put a weapon in all of them. I get that. But how about other things. Can they like, drive a car with controls that need all 6 hands? Would that perhaps be even more effective since they don't need to take their hands off something to move toward something else. Maybe this species handles the pedals with hands instead of feet. Then two extra hands for changing gear and other things. Maybe it's a different kind of transportation system too that isn't comparable to us. Or maybe it's more dangerous because there's too many moving parts. Or say, a waiter using 6 hands to hold 6 trays, dangerous or more useful? Obviously there are a lot of other aspects but these are just a few examples.

Licorice: It’s not just about the limbs; it’s about the brain. Apparently an octopus has a mini-brain in each of its eight arms, so the arms are able to act independently of each other. It also has a central brain for when the arms need to be coordinated.  An octopus could probably octo-wield eight different weapons if it had to! Natural History Museum: Octopuses Keep Surprising Us

A human who suddenly grew four extra arms might become a clumsy menace, but a creature that’s had six arms since it was born probably wouldn’t have any trouble juggling six trays. That would be its normal. 

Since you’re designing this creature from the ground up, you’re free to decide whether it’s more octopus-like or more human-like when it comes to limb movements - or perhaps neither human nor octopus, but something else altogether. 

Addy: Limbs exist for a reason: to fulfill a purpose. As humans, we do foot stuff with our feet and hand stuff with our hands. A creature with more than four limbs would have a brain set up for using those limbs in an effective manner to fulfill their purpose. Like a centaur would be able to walk and do stuff with its hands at the same time - we generally don't question that.

It's really a matter of focus, in my opinion. Could someone with four arms play two different songs on two pianos at the same time? Probably not, much like how most human people can't play two different songs on two pianos at the same time – we focus on one thing at a time, regardless of how many hands we're using on that task. That's part of the problem with dual-wielding – not only are you messing with the momentum of your swings, you're also splitting your focus between two weapons.

For reference, imagine that humans only came with one arm by default, and someone asked if a two-armed creature would be able to use both limbs effectively. As humans, we know the answer is yes! Sure, we have a side that we favor, but we're able to use both of our arms at the same time. We're just generally limited to doing one thing with those two arms – laundry, driving (steering wheel + changing the volume, etc), knitting, whittling, texting, etc. There are some mindless things that we can do with one hand (holding a pet while talking on the phone), but we don't really multitask. I imagine that the same set of ideas can be extended to whatever creature you've got in your head.

Feral: Have you ever had to turn the radio down while driving in order to read the signs on the highway? It's a pretty common thing, and it has to do with our brain’s ability to switch attention between different sensory inputs. Using both your hands and your feet while attending to one specific task - say shifting gears in manual transmission - is something we are pretty capable of doing. It’s when we’re trying to split our focus to different tasks simultaneously that we begin to have trouble. 

So, let’s break down each specific example-

Driving a car with only hands and no feet involved. My paraplegic great-uncle did this actually. He had a specialty steering column with the gas and brake pedal. He had to use both hands at all times, obviously, but there’s nothing that says this can’t be done as a normal convention even with two hands.

Using all six hands to drive. We are able to effectively drive with between three and four limbs (or two limbs as previously stated) depending on the type of transmission we have, so it just seems superfluous to require six, unless is some kind of scifi tech that travels in different dimensions like a fly car. At that point, the question becomes, how much attention switching is needed? The more attention switching, the more dangerous.

Can a waiter carry more with six hands rather than two? Having worked in food service and knowing people in food service, stacking is actually the great skill of a waiter. I can carry as much food stacked properly in one arm as I can spread out between two and be much safer doing so because I am therefore taking up less space, which means there is less likelihood someone would bump into me.

So, when are more limbs actually better?

Consider monkeys with prehensile tails (essentially a fifth limb) or insects, arachnids, and other anthropods, What can they do better than animals with only four limbs? 

[lucalicatteart]

Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 16: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression

(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)

Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should offer to help the travelers with their broken wagon.....

~

After much internal deliberation (and some zoning out staring at butterflies), The Adventurer decides it would be best to offer his assistance. Technically, he IS still following his goal of not getting distracted, because theoretically it would make his journey much faster if he were able to catch a ride on a carriage. So really, this is all an ultimate big brain genius strategy for maximizing efficient travel.. Or, at least that sounds like a good enough justification to him.

Gathering up all of his social courage, he approaches one of the travelers fiddling with a broken wheel near the far end of the carriage and meekly asks if there's anything he could do to help.

The man was so focused on his task, he seems initially startled to look up and find someone near him. "OH..! Oh, uhh.. help? With the wagon?", he smiles pleasantly, gesturing towards a few wooden boards that are just out of his reach, "Sure, kid. If you could just hand me th-"

"Apologies, but we actually won't be needing your assistance, stranger." A taller man, surprisingly almost matching the stature of the Adventurer, suddenly slinks out from somewhere behind the carriage, sternly placing himself like a barrier in front of the man working on the wheel. Wheel Guy nervously averts his eyes, making himself smaller, silently resuming his work.

The Adventurer tries his best to maintain composure against the weight of the tall man's bitter gaze, but can't seem to muster much of a response "Aeughh,,, uh… b-but, h- Bu--HHHh,,?.."

"Look, disregard whatever my father told you, he's old, never has any clue what he's talking about. It'd be best for you to simply move along." ('Father'? They don't look alike at all, and seem to be nearly the same age..)

"W-well.. he.. he didn't really tell me anything, I me-hhH,,.. I mean, I literally just got here, s-so...."

"Good. Even more reason to be on your way."

Placing a gloved hand firmly on his shoulder, the tall man begins to motion the Adventurer away from the wagon, but a strange noise interrupts, echoing from inside. Perhaps some sort of animal sound? Or a person faintly yelling about something? Or… both?

"WH-wHggg… whAT was t-that???!!" The Adventurer immediately stops in place, pausing to listen as the tall man keeps trying to push him ahead.

"I didn't hear anything, stranger."

"No, t-there.. was dEFinitely, UHH, a-"

"Likely something in the forest."

"Wh--aah... d.. do you think it was an animal?"

The tall man continues a dramatic struggle to 'subtly' drag him further down the road, whilst the Adventurer mindlessly digs in his heels, too distracted to even notice he's being so strongly prompted to leave.

"Many animals do, indeed, exist within forests. This should not be suprising."

"...It's just.. ..eughh… s… so weird…"

"I assure you, it is not."

"I-it really sounded like.. like it came f-from insid-"

"Yes, from inside the forest. Now, please, if you would.."

The noise interrupts again. It's definitely someone, or something, in some sort of distress.. And definitely from inside of the cart.

"wHoAAGH, aa!!! T-tHat's NOT from the f-forest, that-"

The tall man fully just shoves him now, sending the Adventurer toppling across the dirt, clumsily rolling and landing just past the other side of the carriage. A mother and young child who seem to be part of the traveling group simply stare down at him with empty blank gazes, wholly unconcerned about helping him up.

As the Adventurer fumbles back to his feet (still confused as to why he was even pushed in the first place), the tall man looms by the carriage, diligently watching to ensure that he leaves.

"Travel safe, stranger."

Despite his initial obliviousness, the Adventurer begins to piece the situation together as he stares back at the man, now fully convinced something suspicious might be going on...

…What should he do next??

~

~

~

Additional Information

the adventurer's current main quest: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has

[therhythmafterthesummer]

I have pack logistics questions so pardon me if this is nerdy but I’m a certified lore whore. Also it’s long…just like Channie’s..nose😊

1) for camping/pack runs, if there a general meal planned established then do select members go shopping? Does cooking responsibility switch each time or does it stay pretty consistent?Or is it kinda all for yourself bring your own food(even if everyone ends up sharing?

2) does the entire pack take off ever every single full moon? Do some of them get special accommodations if it happens during the week? Do any of the boys get a bit moody if their partner can’t join them for midweek runs?

3) does the pack as a consensus on the best season to run on or is it individual? If so what?

4) do packs in this universe have anything to physically show/establish them as being apart of a certain pack? Easily I think like a ring or necklace, little more permanent would be like a tattoo.

5) do you think the pack would struggle once/if the moved into individual homes? Like I can’t see them living across town from each other, but I can imagine living that close for that long and then not smelling or sensing all your mates might be jarring to a wolf.

5) wolves have a LOT of pride. Is Chan’s response stronger than anyone else’s (besides a mate’s) when one of his packmates are disrespected or hurt? Think like if he heard someone calling Min a “halfbreed/mutt” or picking/threatening jisung or Felix because they are male omegas. How quick is his wolf to violence in those cases?

6) Do they jokingly call the extra rooms where they can ride out ruts and heats “horny jail”

7) Do the pack parents keep maybe like a rough schedule (or specific if the individual is comfortable sharing it)of cycles for everyone that way they could predict when tempers might be higher?

8) besides others they are romantically involved with, do the wolves think about themselves as packmates in a “this is my friend” way or a “this is my sibling way”? For our humans, since they don’t have a wolf in their brain do they truly feel part of the pack? Like when they really soak in the moment with all of them do they think “I love my pack” or do they think “I love my friends/siblings”?

-🥝( I probably should have split this into multiple asks)

never apologise for this!! i love these questions skjdfhsjkdf

they try to plan what they're gonna eat on their days there. so, yes. they'll make a list of items and a few of the pack members will go to the grocery store to get the items (it's usually jeongin + autumn + changbin, but they might rotate every once in a while if the three of them aren't up for it). sometimes they prepare the meals and take them already ready just to re-heat, other times they just take the groceries and cook there. if they cook beforehand, tasks are split between households. if they cook during the trip, it's usually felix cooking, but others help frequently because he refuses to cook alone for that many people (not like other pack members would let him anyway kfjhskjf).

they always go together. i think Chris might be able to count the times they didn't with one hand (runs are very VERY important for werewolves, so missing one can get them a bit... cranky). for those that work in a supernatural environment (like Jisung), they probably just need to submit some paperwork at the beginning f the year with the nights they need and they always get them approved since it's a necessity. for those working in human spaces, they either call in sick or try to get days off. those with partners, they sulk if their partner can't come for one reason or another (Chris is the king of sulking whenever he has to spend a full moon without pretty nowadays. hell, even if it's just going out for a run and it's not a full moon, he'll sulk lol).

it's all personal preference. if i had to decide fave seasons for each ones: winter = chris, seungmin | autumn: changbin, ginger, jisung | summer = felix, jeongin | spring = minho, hyunjin (as usual, this is subject to change, it's just what i think at this present time lol).

some packs do (i like to think Moss' does. i just haven't decided what they have yet). Chris' doesn't, mostly because none of them has felt the need to have anything.

they would. i think it'll feel unnatural to not be close to each other, so moving too far away is just not an option. it's in their nature to live together and ensure everyone's well fed and taken care of (whatever this last bit entitles...). for Chris' pack, if they move out of their current den and into houses, i'm sure they'll only do it if they find adjacent houses. like, they literally need to be right next to each other/in front of each other or they won't move. it'd probably feel a bit weird at first since they're not in the same space, but i'm sure they'll get used to it eventually. but yeah, the closer together the houses are, the better.

it honestly depends. i feel like Chris particularly is heavily influenced by the moon cycle. depending on the phase of the moon he can either react very violently or very logically. he always tries to go the logical route because, you know, he's their Leader and he has to act all collected. but... yeah, i'm sure he's gotten in a few fights in his life over things like these lol. it can get pretty ugly if the full moon's close.

i love this actually. so, yes. yes they do.

of course. not only to be aware of mood changes, but also to make sure they're more or less available in case they're needed to help with anything (like getting them supplies and whatnot).

i think it goes beyond "this is my friend" and "this is my sibling". it's a type of bond that it's not easily explained, it's just... they're just pack members. and yes, humans that fully integrate into the pack feel this way, too. i suppose there could be humans that don't integrate completely, so they'd be more on the "these are my friends for life" kinda mindset, but it's not the case for Chris' pack. pretty and kitten are fully integrated into the dynamic.

hope these answers make sense, i'm super sleepy ksjdfhskjdf

[iamvegorott]

The Veggie household has been fighting the plague and I got body aches, so I decided to take my pain and turn it into some fluffy thoughts

The couples massaging/rubbing sore parts of the other

Madmare:

Mad gets nauseous/stomach aches pretty often due to his sensitivity and awareness of those around him and can very often just ignore it since they're usually weak but once in a while they're bad and he's curled up on the bed, trying to will the ache away. Mare crawls into the bed, kissing the top of Mad's head while Mad is insisting he's fine and just needs a moment. Mare continues his kisses, trailing them down to Mad's ear and whispering to let him help take care of him before placing a hand on Mad's stomach and rubbing deep circles. Mad tries to protest still but gives in very quickly and sighs in relief, uncurling a little and leaning back more against Mare, who is softly smiling at seeing Mad relaxing already

Mare's fairly good at ensuring he doesn't hurt himself or cause too much soreness with his tasks, but he does get a lot of hand cramps since he gets lost when making music and does the same thing over and over and over again and hands can only take so much even with stretching beforehand. Mare knows it's time to take a break when he can't move his fingers through the cramping and he plops on the couch, almost pouting about having to stop. Mad can pick up the 'Mare pout' feeling in the air and comes to the room and sits on the couch as well. He sits himself so he's leaning back against Mare's chest and he takes Mare's hand, massaging it with his thumbs, and works on the fingers as well with the occasional kiss to Mare's palm. Mare can't help but watch with the biggest heart-eyes

Phantomhero:

Phantom's a lot like his brother in trying to ensure he doesn't hurt himself or get sore but yearly allergies can't be prevented. He coughs so much that his chest aches and he hates it. Phantom whines and pouts in bed since he knows the best remedy for those allergies is some medicine and extra rest but gets bored so easily. Jackie eventually gets away from the others and slips into the bed, under Phantom, and wraps one arm around his waist in a hug as the other rubs a hand in circles on Phantom's chest. Phantom's whines and pouts die off easily when Jackie's there and he embraces the affection

Jackie's, well...he's Jackie and is often getting himself into situations that hurt him, but thankfully he heals pretty quickly. He's used to common body aches and soreness and brushes it aside like it's nothing. The one thing he can't handle is headaches. Jackie hates headaches since he can't think through them and it makes his eyes feel weird and cloudy. He still tries to do his usual thing despite that but Phantom can tell when Jackie's off because his brain is pounding. Phantom will coax Jackie to lie down, using his stomach and thighs as a pillow, and then rub his temples with his thumbs. He watches as Jackie becomes a puddle almost instantly and closes his eyes, looking like he'd be purring if he could and Phantom adores when Jackie relaxes like this

Trickshot:

Marvin is a very prideful and spiteful man. While, for the most part, he's great at taking care of himself, sometimes that pride and spite kicks in and he ends up walking around in heels that are too high for too long and his feet hurt. He could use magic to heal them faster but that would mean admitting defeat and that Chase was right about needing to change his shoes before they left. Chase lets Marvin pout on the couch for a bit and then joins him. Lifting his legs and setting them down on his lap. Chase teases as he starts rubbing at Marvin's feet, getting a little laugh out of Marvin trying to defend his actions but is too lost in how good the foot rub felt

Chase can also be just as prideful and spiteful as Marvin when it comes to his strength. He gets very determined at times that he can lift certain objects on his own and doesn't need help. It works out some of the time but other times he ends up hurting his back. He'll try to brush it off but eventually ends up facedown on the bed and unable to move. Marvin will make a salve to help the muscles relax and get up in the bed, sitting on Chase's hips as he slowly works the salve in with his hands, massaging Chase's back at the same time. He can't help but giggle at Chase's groans and curses of appreciation

Danti:

Anti is a climber. He's a climber and he tucks himself away into little nooks in wait to spook someone. He'll have a day where he'll do that for hours and hours and hours and his legs are sore messes the next day. Even the glitch can't heal fast enough to not be pouting about it in the morning. Dark lets Anti pout for a little, kissing his cheek and neck before sitting up and massaging one of Anti's legs. He teases Anti about putting himself into this situation while working on the other leg. Anti says something along the lines of 'I'd snark at you but I'm too busy enjoying the massage'

Dark's body is...interesting. There are plenty of days where he feels fine, but others where everything just aches. Usually, he just ignores the pain and continues his work, and Anti's learned how to catch when Dark's having one of those aching days. Anti knows Dark's pride won't let him admit to the pain so he plays it off as him wanting to flirt or is in a touchy mood. He does up behind Dark while he's hunched over his desk and he'll start massaging his shoulders. He'll chatter away and pretend to not notice how Dark melts.

Dapperstache:

JJ uses his arms and hands a lot with work, communicating, and overall house care, so there are days when his arms are sore and weak and he just wants to let them flop like wet noodles and even then that's not enough. He'll sit himself down in Wilford's lap and tell him about his aches and Wilford's reaction is to immediately start massaging JJ's upper arms. He grins at how JJ's confused for a moment before silently giggling and getting more comfortable against Wilford as he works

Wilford does a lot. Just a lot of everything. Not usually work-related things, but a lot of things nonetheless. His entire being and presence is...complicated so him being sore or aching is beyond a rarity. Getting hurt is common but sore is a different story. So once in a blue moon, Wilford's back reminds him of how long he's been a chaotic man and he's stuck on the bed for the day. JJ starts the care with some kisses and tea before kneeling beside Wilford and working his hands along his back. Often having to put his whole body weight into the massage to get in deep enough for some of the knots. Wilford's very vocal about his approval and JJ has to pause every now and again to giggle

[bearbait-adventures]

So I just spent a few hours working on my husband's hair. (He has dreads and I fix them for him when they get unruly...also I'm autistic and I love it...) The whole time my RvB polluted brain...

Almost everyone agrees Tucker has dreads

Who fixes his dreads for him?

I have decided Caboose would do it...

Maybe it happens randomly one day...

Tucker is frustrated because he has trouble with the ones in the back, he can't see them, or maybe he just can't reach them... So he asks for help from the only person he thinks wouldn't say anything rude about it. Washington would most likely suggest he cut them because it's not regulation. But he would rather die...he's worked so hard just trying to keep them nice in the middle of nowhere with no help...

So he goes to Caboose with his pack of latch hooks and a wish. Caboose looks at him for a moment when he asks, eyes moving from the hooks, to his hair, then back to his face. Tucker half expects Caboose to say no and call him stupid... But that doesn't happen, instead Caboose takes the pack of latch hooks with a shy grin.

"I thought you would never ask..." Caboose mumbles.

Tucker is taken aback a bit... What did that mean? Had Caboose wanted to help him the whole time? Thinking back on it he remembered Caboose walking in on him working on them before. He had asked questions about them. Tucker had answered them, albeit with irritation at the time. He had wanted Caboose to go away then, because he was busy...

Caboose had asked what the latch hooks were, how they worked. Tucker had blown the big guy off. Just telling him they were latch hooks for pulling the hair back into the dread and then interlocking them when the roots grew out to far. Caboose had left soon after, but the big guy had stayed for a bit. He must have been watching him do it?

Caboose had been doing just that watching as Tucker played with his hair, it looked nice he had always wanted to touch them. But Tucker was very protective of them, so they must have meant a lot to him. So Caboose didn't ask... but he did do a little research of his own looking up the latch hooks for more of an explanation on how they worked. He looked up the interlocking technique too he watched a few tutorials on it. Learning about it just in case...

Caboose grabs Tucker's arm and relocates them both to the lounge area, where they always watch shows and stuff when they weren't supposed to be killing each other. Sitting Tucker on the floor between his legs as he sat on the couch. Turning on the lamp so he could see better, before pulling a few of the hooks out with the sizes he thinks he needs judging from the size of Tucker's dreads.

"I have never actually done this before...I watched a few videos though...tell me if you think I'm doing it wrong...? I don't want to mess them up." Caboose says as he moves the dreads around so he can figure out which ones still need worked on and which ones Tucker already fixed.

Tucker was still sort of flabbergasted he hadn't expected this at all... He just lowered his head when he felt Caboose's big fingers start going through his dreads. "Okay... I just needed help with the ones in the back because I can't reach them."

Tucker focuses on the feeling of Caboose running the latch hook through the dread and pulling the loose hair back into it and then weaving the strands back up through the whole dread so they stay. Caboose does pull a little on the strands making Tucker hiss because it hurts but it happens and Tucker isn't mad about it, especially when every time it happens Caboose apologizes profusely for it. The big guy is obviously trying really hard.

Caboose is completely focused on his task and trying to do his best not to mess up. Once he's done weaving in the loose hair he puts a larger latch hook through the base of the dread and loops the dread through itself. He keeps doing this while changing the angle until the dread's base is all tightened up. So intensely focused he doesn't even notice his tongue is partly out as he holds it between his teeth. It's a little hard because his hands are so big and the latch hooks are small but he's getting the hang of it... Before too long...He's not sure how long...he was finally finished.

He moved the dreads around a bit making sure he got them all before announcing, "Okay, all done." He leaned up when Tucker didn't answer him checking on his teammate. Tucker was sleeping while leaned up against his leg. Caboose snorted a light chuckle as he shook Tucker awake. "Hey, I'm done...go check and make sure I didn't mess them up..." Caboose urged...although there was probably nothing he could do now if they were messed up...it was already done.

Tucker yawned and sat up before using the big guys leg as support to stand back up and head to the nearest mirror to check his hair. He was impressed with Caboose's work a smile spreading across his face as he inspected what he could see in the mirror. "Thanks, Caboose... Maybe we can do this again next time too?" Tucker proposed with a half questioning look.

"Yeah, I'd like that." Caboose said with a grin. Maybe Tucker wouldn't be so grumpy with him now... Caboose liked helping out. Tucker was his friend even if he was "stupid" most of the time...

[alas9]

✨ 📖 ✏️ studyblr masterpost jam ✏️ 📖 ✨ Day #5 as an independent game designer maybe?

Today is about study tips! And I think you won't like mine, hehe but I'll give them anyway.

Create the environment for studying

My first one is to set the environment you study at, to make it more conducive to do so!

Our brain does not like friction, since it was forged in a time of total sedentary lifestyle. Animals in nature only expend energy to flee/fight a predator, search for food, and reproduce. All other energy costs represent enormous friction for us. When creating a habit we must lower the friction to the minimum, to the point where we can repeat the task day after day without it bothering us, and gradually increase the demands. If you don't have a study habit, don't try to lock yourself up for an entire afternoon until you understand basic concepts of whatever. Try watching one video, then two, then 5, then spend an hour on a tiny project. Think tiny, well your first project should be smaller than that. The 1% everyday rule.

Adopt an aesthetic that you can maintain over time

I don't want to discourage the flirty fairies of studyblr, I love following beautiful studyblrs and people who romanticize their lives, but I'd love to say to you to don't make your own honeypot that diverts you away from your goals.

I know it sounds super idiotic to say it, but for many people, it is important to romanticize their life as a way to reduce the friction in their tasks. Aesthetic is in everyting and some of us like to have control over it. Part of it is maintaining a blog, a bullet journal, etc. I don't think it's a bad practice, since falling in love with your lifestyle is something healthy and not an obstacle. Romanticizing student life can be trap that we all may fall into sooner or later. In the first years when I decided to be self-taught (before that I went to art school for 5 years before dropping out, missing a year to graduate) and started investing my time in learning programming, I wasted a lot of time trying to accommodate every minimum detail to make it enjoyable. I loved going to art school because it was a very sensorial and aesthetic experience, and I wanted to bring a little of that experience to my new life in programming. My first notebooks were unsustainable, my blogs too, I never managed to finish a bullet journal, my Notion had the most beautiful and impractical templates ever seen by humankind, and I spent more time maintaining those things than actually studying. I had an intermediate hiatus, driven by having started working in programming, and I returned to studying in a much more practical and clean way, with fewer worries and clear goals. Reaching your goals is also a vibe lol

Do excercise and invest in a good chair (or a good desk)

I know this sounds random and I have no advice to give. In fact, I think this is my best advice. I have a protrusion on my spine, I have another coworker who has 2, and a coworker with 3 (the latter is working full remote because she can't tolerate sitting in the office). Office and study life is extremely sedentary, and even worse if you do both at the same time. I used to be a girl who did ballet, gymnastics and basketball, until I moved to study and almost at the same time I started working. The anxiety of stillness made me addicted to snacks. I have gained considerably weight since then and my physical disposition after 10 years is no longer the same. I have colleagues who go to the gym just to physically support this lifestyle. You need a lot of strength and endurance to avoid falling into depression and other physical illnesses, such as obesity, bulges, or back pain. Sitting for so many hours can shorten your leg muscles and twist your spine. The sooner you dedicate yourself to your physical health, the further you can go. Sometimes you just can't study or challenge yourself more because your body doesn't allow it. Besides that, eat well and drink water.

Get an ergonomic chair that keeps your spine aligned, or some of those desks that allow you to work standing up, they are excellent investments.

---

Information about programming is everywhere all over the surface of the web, there is little to honestly talk about it. That's why I think it was more valuable to talk about the consequences of living this lifestyle for so long. I hope it helps someone.

[danieyells]

Have you ever tried to do something on your computer and it says something like "You need administrator permission to perform this action" except you're the only user on the computer and it still says you can't?

That's how it feels for me to try and do things most of the time with adhd. Because it's something I want to do or even need to do, and am fully capable of doing unrestricted. . .but there's something preventing me from doing so until my brain decides 'okay, now is fine'.

With computers the thing is usually 'you can't move/delete this file because it's open in another program' but for some reason it doesn't want to give you that specific error message and it just says you don't have permission. Usually if you close whatever you have open it'll let you go just fine. But it's not that easy with my brain. Usually my brain has some indiscernible reason that I'm helpless to deal with. It stops me from replying to messages, doing things that are fun, cleaning up, taking care of myself and my surroundings. If i could figure out what's preventing me from 'giving myself permission' to perform a task I'm sure it'd be a lot easier.

But I can't.

So I don't. I just keep waiting until the 'administrator' gives me permission.

[midnight-rice]

Ephemerality, creativity, and completion

My sleep schedule is fucked and my brain is fried and I can't sleep so naturally I decided to go through all some of the files backed up in my Google Drive--- mainly my own artwork, old and new, some of my writing WIPs, and snippets of creative projects from fans and professionals alike that I had saved as inspirations. It was really refreshing to look back on the techniques and the flaws and the ideas in each of them, as well as my personal growth and the development of my interests. But so much of my work in there hasn't been shared because it's incomplete, which is something that haunts me quite a lot sometimes and as I was thinking about it and what I want from life I think I reached a new point in thinking. Apologies if I sound angsty or self-absorbed, I'm just liveblogging my musings for my own preservation purposes:

My inability to finish stuff is something that developed later in my life, starting around maybe late high school and becoming more noticable in my early twenties (although technically I'm still in my early twenties 😅). I suspect the cause is related to a mental disorder, probably ADHD though I'm not sure I'll ever get an official diagnosis, since the symptoms do sound similar to descriptions of executive dysfunction: almost everything I make has an invisible ticking clock on it, the length of which can vary wildly, but once that timer runs out the odds of completion drop abysmally low, no matter how much I care about the creation/task or how important it is. I've found that there are ways to prolong this deadline sometimes and the effectiveness of those methods can vary too. Sometimes it's better to take frequent breaks to avoid burnout, and other times it's better to push through while the intrinsic inspiration is high. Sometimes it's better to have deadlines to establish clear goals, and sometimes it's better to dismiss the time limitations because they can cause anxiety and hopelessness. Sometimes it's better to share what I'm working on in order to reignite interest by vicariously experiencing the idea with new eyes, and sometimes it's better to keep it to myself so that my brain doesn't conflate the act of sharing with the act of finishing.

And I know that things don't have to be complete in order to be shared, or at least I try to remind myself of that. My perfectionism makes me want to have it be *done* in its best currently possible form when shared, and tbh social media often reinforces that idea to an extent since WIPs tend to get way less attention than finished things but that's not entirely my point rn. I've more or less accepted that some things are made to matter in the moment, that I made them when I needed to and that it's okay to move on to other things without finishing. But presenting incomplete works can still feel like almost a betrayal as much as hoarding them does because it opens up possible miscommunication or misinterpretation--- if I had just found the right words or drawn the right details THEN the audience would get it.

And I think for me personally that idea of "getting it" is really important to me. I'm naturally more shy and reserved (or maybe it's not natural and was more of a coping mechanism to fit in but I'm not going there today lol) and I struggle to find the right words a lot in speech but the things I make manage to say a lot more about me than I can verbalize. A lot of my relationships are more surface-level like acquaintances and coworkers which is fine, it's unrealistic and probably unhealthy to be deeply intimate with everyone you know. But even some of my closer ones like my family still feel shallow at times or disconnected. I don't mean to sound edgy or that I'm "misunderstood," but I worry sometimes that if I got hit by a truck tomorrow they'd put the wrong words on my tombstone and never know about a Google Drive full of incomprehensible creative works that nevertheless mattered so much to me.

Oh my god the irony... I'm so tired I cant even finish this post and now it looks like I'm just having an anxiety spiral... f

[maxfaiden]

Regarding Curseforge

"Alternative Download." This creator's post from the Summer of 2023 (before we were fully aware of Overwolf's allegiance), only had the DOWNLOAD link which landed you at a similar destination; more recent appearances of "DOWNLOAD" on their posts go to Patreon). I would much prefer people be upfront about their greed and disregard for humanity than try to obfuscate it.

For anyone not aware, download URLs that begin with the above/following URL are Curseforge direct download links.

https://edge.forgecdn.net/

I wanted to add this to the conversation since I haven't seen it mentioned/reiterated where the Curseforge boycott was concerned.

That said, I am pretty observant, but recently, I had two incidents that made me realize I needed to be more diligent when it comes to engaging with CC. I have a side blog, half of which serves as a cc finds blog, but it's more of a read later because I only spare enough of a glance at the cc to determine whether I'm interested or not before I add a cursory tag or two and reblog it.

The first incident was when I was about to reblog a post and realized that one of the download options read Curseforge. Why in that moment did I notice? Can't say for sure. How many others have I blindly reblogged since the beginning of November '23 when I was made aware of Overwolf's stance? Not sure about that either, but both are at least partially due to DL links often being under a cut and me not wanting to spend more time on a cursory task than my brain currently has the wherewithal for. Also, since the beginning of the EA partnership, Curseforge was quite tedious for me (I'd rather go vault diving), so I generally ignored it.

Executive function deficits aside, I still feel a sense of responsibility and will hold myself accountable for my lack of due diligence. I've promised myself that I'll begin taking the same care with CC reblogs that I do with topical reblogs on my primary account.

While moving ahead with deliberation, the second incident occurred and that was how I encountered the post at the top.

Since both posts were courtesy of aggregate blogs, I decided to check out the FAQ/About/Bios of those blogs as well as a few other finds blogs to see if any of them updated their info with a statement about Curseforge links. None had. So I decided to submit the following ask to them:

Can you commit to no longer reblogging posts that include a link to Curseforge?

Even if they include an alternate link, the creator is still in a position to benefit from a company whose parent entity supports the genocide of Palestinians.

You can find more context here: https://armoricaroyalty.tumblr.com/post/739972677769510912/why-is-the-sims-community-boycotting-curseforge

Initially I asked them to "consider", but I realized that for this, consideration was not enough, so I changed it to "commit".

I'm not trying to get into it with anyone--I prefer to leave the drama on the page--but I felt that asking was the least I could do. I'm not naming any names until a reasonable amount of time has passed. You'll either read an announcement from the finds blog or see an answer to my ask on your dash or I'll take their silence as complicity and post that X-amount of time has passed since I approached X-blog and they still have not responded.

My ultimate goal here is just to share what I've encountered as well as be a reminder to anyone who may have similar scrolling and cc habits and would prefer not to support genocide, to try be a little more deliberate in their actions: Go under the cut, hover over links before clicking to confirm where they lead, and maybe ask their local finds blogs if they will commit. Every little bit counts.

[subspaceember]

okay so I was supposed to do my stuff for class. Instead here's what happened:

I am in class -> I drink my matcha -> want to work on cyberdeck -> open project in Illustrator -> realize that my old CAD model was better -> install Fusion 360 again -> realize that model was basically complete -> realize I have nothing to lose by printing it -> I don't have Cura -> I install it, but don't finish the setup -> set up 3D printer -> there's stuff on the table, I clean it up some -> I discover that I can mount my little LED lamp to my printer -> I do that -> It has to be moved and new filament put in -> I do that too -> I get ready to print when I realize I need to make some changed to the model -> I turn off the printer -> discover things would be easier if I had my calipers -> I can't find my calipers -> I think they're in this box of random junk -> I get the box and start pulling things out -> I eventually do find them but at this point the contents of the entire box are all over my floor and I'm sitting in this pile of junk -> I discover all the loose glue sticks that I need to put away in the bottom of the box -> I gather those up and put them away -> I realize that I can just get rid of the box all together, especially because it's falling apart -> I start trying to find a new container for my Game Boy and it's games and manuals, since it was in the box -> I'm unsuccessful -> I think a lot about crocheting a bag for it, then I realize that's silly and instead I now want to make a bag for my switch -> it takes considerable effort to stop myself from doing that -> now I'm sorting everything I got out of the box -> a lot of it goes back into my closet -> the closet is a mess -> I start picking up the closet too -> I manage to get all the stuff I pulled out of my car when I crashed it put away finally -> I find the parking pass I lost -> I find the patches I wanted to put on my bag and lay them out -> It takes a lot of effort to not go ahead and put them on right now -> I realize at this point I wasn't even going to do class stuff and was actually needing to take a shower -> I discover a spare strap I want to use on the cyberdeck -> I find a big microSD card I didn't know I had -> I finally get everything from the box into new homes -> think about how nice it'd be to have shelves -> get sad realizing I have no money for shelves and am forced to move soon anyway -> get distracted by my phone for a bit -> I finally pick up the calipers -> the battery is dead -> I know where the new ones are -> I find them in the a bag -> I discover stuff in the bag that doesn't go in there -> I get all that out -> I replace the battery -> I only vaguely remember why I needed this in the first place now -> I decide I want to do laundry before tomorrow -> remember I was supposed to shower -> remember I was supposed to be doing something for class -> decide to write a tumblr post about my thought process instead of doing either of those things -> here we are!

I uh... don't think "normal" people's brains work this way. Also for reference this entire time there were no bathroom breaks, no water drinking, no going outside, etc. Nothing could break me from the task else I wouldn't do it again for maybe months.

It's amazing just how much ADHD is crammed into my brain and that I somehow manage to actually do anything at all (occasionally).

[stickthisbig]

Look. Okay. So. We hate it when shit works, right? It fuckin sucks that taking a walk or cleaning or whatever helps, because we've only been told to do those things by people operating in bad faith.

But I am a neurodiverse person with memory issues and I am telling you you need to try a to-do list. This is what mine looks like:

(this is cleaned up to take out identifying information, etc)

I think a thing that a lot of l people are not explained when it comes to things like planners and lists is that this is a golden opportunity to outsource brain work that you're bad at. I have memory problems and focus issues. All the bullshit at work I have to juggle? Not my job to remember it; that's what the list is for.

What were you gonna do next? List.

Boss asks what you've done today? List.

Turned away for two minutes and now you don't even remember what fuckin industry you work in? List.

My job can be very hectic and in one day I'm doing work with four different programs. I regularly get assigned work that has to be done immediately. That is too much to expect my brain to deal with. A to-do list is an extremely simple tool that does an incredible amount of work with a small amount of effort from you. Invest in your well-being; externalize a mundane but difficult part of life.

Also checking things off is incredibly satisfying. Sometimes I write shit down for the seratonin.

To-do lists catch a lot of flak because they seem like normie bullshit for people who are unpleasantly motivated, but try it out, you may be surprised!

I also have some tips for efficiency that I will put under the jump:

Choose a place the notepad always goes. If you work in more than one place, get a second notepad for the other place. Holy shit you'll fuck yourself if you get in the habit and then convince yourself you can't start without it.

Get a notepad. Doesn't matter what it is, but it is CRUCIAL that you not use it for anything else. It needs to be ONLY for your to-do list. These guys were $1.50 at Michaels and I bought loads of them.

Scribble down literally anything. I write down projects I'll be working on for 6 months and also to water my plants. This list is cleaned up bc it had some identifying information on it, but normally I just scrawl whatever makes sense. It's your space for only you and not anybody else; nobody else is allowed to use it.

Set ground rules. What can you put other than the list? I doodle on mine and occasionally make short notes regarding tasks from the list. Nothing else is allowed. I don't usually list things from my personal life; those tasks are kept on my phone.

Decide on your markings. Mine are pretty simple: / if I've finished, X if it's cancelled, ? if it's in doubt. There are much more complicated systems but I never could keep up with them. Once it's marked, it's out of my hands; for projects spanning multiple days, once I've gotten as far as I meant, I mark it off.

Don't cross things out! It seems good now but it is a bad idea! It makes it harder for you to see what you have accomplished. You want to victoriously slash your pen across the page, but still see that you got shit done.

That's largely it? Some people save their lists from previous days or set aside a specific time to move their undone tasks over. It's totally fine not to finish something; it just goes on the next page.

Some people prioritize tasks; I don't, because in my job, it doesn't have to get done in order, it just has to get done. It actually helps me unprioritize my tasks so I don't get hung up on the biggest ones. I don't have to go "I must do this now or forget forever," because I've outsourced that responsibility. Instead I can go "I don't have time to get anything started, I want to not be at my desk, let me do this item here that takes 5 minutes."

[taylors-a-goblin]

After years of knowing I have adhd (keeping in mind that I have a bachelors degree and background in healthcare, and did months of research before settling on this self knowledge) but not having the resources to get formally diagnosed, a friend gave me one of his prescribed pills. This was basically the final test for me, knowing that if I don't have adhd I'd basically get high if I took it (like you would taking an upper if you had normal neurodevelopment). I took it on a day off work when I didn't have anywhere I needed to be and could stay at home to test the effects on my brain. To say that it works for me would be an understatement.

My brain has never been so calm, so capable of concentrating on a task (without hyperfocusing!!!). The lack of constant chatter inside my mind is something I don't think I've ever experienced. And I've been so productive. Not manically productive, like when you've got a house inspection tomorrow and the time pressure finally snaps and makes you act. Calmly productive. Calmly active. Moving from one finished task to the next without freezing up with executive dysfunction because you don't know which task to do. Not running out of steam halfway through a task and abandoning it unfinished (telling yourself you'll come back to it after a break but never doing that). Not completing two or three (if I'm lucky) tasks and then collapsing because my brain has decided that more than that would be too much. Here's everything I've done since the medication kicked in:

Cleaned the entire kitchen. Two loads of dishes. Three loads of laundry (washed, ran some through the drier, hung the rest up to dry). Took all the trash out of my room. Worked on my book. Fixed a broken door stopper I've been meaning to fix for over a year. Fixed the cupboard door I've been meaning to fix for months. Made chocolate crackles with my nephew, made lunch, and cleaned up after we were done. Pulled apart the stove top and scrubbed it all down until shiny. And, amongst all this, I took breaks.

Do you have any idea how absolutely unbelievable this is for me? Can you understand how remarkably free I feel inside my head right now as I'm typing this? I even did several of these tasks in silence. No music. No YouTube video or audiobook or podcast in my ears. I can't get ANYTHING done in silence. Without secondary stimulus in my ears I cannot functionally concentrate on anything unless I'm actively participating with other humans (like in meetings or conversations or table top games).

So yes. I will be trying my darnedest to get a formal diagnosis and a prescription because if this is how it feels to be medicated, then I think I'd like to feel this at least 5 days a week. Can you imagine how much I'll excel in my day job if my brain is working like this? Holy shit. I'm definitely looking to get medicated, because fuck. What am I actually capable of??? I don't know, but I plan to find out.