#and it’s so hard to find a routine that works consistently outside of showering

[lilgynt]

i know it’s a process but my hair is so lucky my mom would have a heart attack if i just shaved it all off. you are so fucking lucky.

[mamadoe]

👢 Showbird - Chapter 2

Summary ||

When Akira moved to Fukuoka to pursue her dancing career, life was easy. However, when her father has an unexpected health crisis, she needs consistent work in the worst way to help support her parents back in her hometown. A day job lined up at one of the Hero Agencies promises good pay for the time being, but she didn't expect not only to meet but get to know the Pro Hero the agency is named after.

Follow Akira's perspective with some of Keigo Takami's sprinkled in.

~~~

Complete Masterlist

Also on AO3 Pairing || Keigo Takami (age 22 at start)/Akira (Fem OC, age 23 at start)

Warning || brief depiction of hospital care

WC || 4037

~~~

The blaring of her alarm is cruel as it rips her from a deep sleep. Akira’s fumbling hand struggles to find the button to turn it off, and when she finally finds the right one, she is greeted with early morning silence. Before she gives her body the chance to slip back into sleep, she forces herself to sit up with a groan and rubs the back of her sore neck. No dreams interrupted her slumber for once, which she’s thankful for. If she didn’t know any better, she would describe herself as feeling like a husk of the person, her soul already stripped from her body as her shell marches forward with her still-new routine. Though now, she finally feels she’s starting to adjust to very little sleep. For the past week, all her waking hours have been claimed by commuting, working at the agency, riding the train back across the city during rush hour, dancing at the hall, and finally, the nights are capped with a brief moment when it’s just her in her quiet apartment taking care of her most basic needs, just to do it all over again the next day.

The sun isn’t even blessing the skyline yet, but she knows if she wants to make it to work on time, that’s the way it has to be. The night before had stretched well into this morning’s early hours, much to her dismay. Once arrived home, all she wanted to do was collapse into bed. But she needed to shower to wash away the sweat and makeup and to get a proper meal to sustain and restore her strength after a hard dancing night. She took the quickest shower of her life, heated one of her many containers of hot pot stews, and before she knew it, she had slipped into her dreams, unintentionally leaving her hair to air dry overnight and to handle in the morning.

She rubs her palms into her aching eyes before grabbing her glasses off the nightstand. Even with how tired she was last night, she had the wherewithal to set out another change of clothes, so she grabs them as she passes to the bathroom, setting about making herself presentable for her work day, including taming her beast called hair, which is cast in all directions. She’s gotten her morning routine fairly streamlined now, so it doesn’t take long before she’s back in her room looking much more presentable and packing her bag for dancing after work with a couple of new outfits and her charger for her phone, as well as her lunch she had prepared earlier in the week between her two livelihoods. As she passes the mirror on the wall by her front door to grab her shoes and coat, she catches a glimpse at herself. It’s almost comical to see her in such bland attire and tired, sunken eyes yet again. Akira doesn’t recognize herself in the mirror. This is the new normal now, though, so she kneels to put her flats on before pulling her coat over her frame and grabbing her bag. One last sweep for her keys, and she’s out the door.

She makes it to her train just in time, and when she gets to her station on time, she decides there is time for a quick stop at one of the little coffee shops by the agency. If it takes too long, she can just duck out and head to work; however, she knows she practically needs the caffeine in an IV drip, so a cup of coffee will have to do. She waits in line, already knowing her order, so she looks outside to watch people hurrying toward their work. Not nearly as many as there would be in about thirty minutes, but still, there are more people out than she expected to see. The sun has just barely started to come up over the horizon, casting long shadows on the sidewalk. After a few moments, she lingers on an oddly still crowd. Sure enough, it’s a group of paparazzi or the press, the flash of their cameras illuminating the wall of the building across the street. She squints into the still-dark morning light to try to see what’s so interesting, but they soon disappear to cross the road, out of sight from where she’s standing. What are they doing out so early? Can’t people catch a break?

Akira forgets about it in an instant when she hears the cashier call for who’s next and she places her order and pays before sliding down to the end of the counter to wait for her coffee. Not a breath later, she hears the door open and the sounds of camera shutters and jovial laughter bright as a bell before the door is shut quickly, keeping the press outside. She glances to see who it is, and her breath hitches when Hawks steps into view, waving to the cashier who happily squeals a greeting. He dazzles her with a smile before stepping up to the counter. She hasn’t seen him since meeting him on her first day, but she recognizes that smile as the one he used on her the first time he looked at her. Something about it this morning leaves a sour taste in her mouth, and she can’t contain her eye roll.

“Sorry about that. Don’t want them swarming your shop. A regular coffee is fine.” He doesn’t even register the price, just slides a few bills from his pocket across the counter and dismisses her with a soft, “keep the change,” before gliding in Akira’s direction. It’s only when his eyes slide from watching the workers behind the counter to her that he realizes she’s there, and his thick eyebrows shoot up with an eager grin. “Good morning, little bird! Just can’t stop running into you like this, huh?” He teases as he tucks his hands into his pockets, a go-to classic pose for him. Immediately her cheeks flush, coupled with the heat of wearing her winter coat inside. She had been expecting a quick stop and to go, so she didn’t think to peel off her coat while she waited. Now with the press lining the window outside and blocking the door, she lets a soft groan loose before turning her back to the window, thankful for her coat being plain, so she can attempt to fade into the background.

“Good morning, Hawks.” Her words are short, quiet but firm. Even though he is beaming this morning, it only makes her already not-so-great mood this morning plummet. By now, all guise of him being a Pro Hero has worn off on her, and he’s just another man.

“Ha, not a morning person, huh?” His grin is sickeningly sweet as he shifts his stance, his back angled toward the windows to block her from the view of the cameras, stretching his wings innocently enough to pass as a coincidence. He has done this song and dance countless times before, so it almost comes naturally. Hopefully, they don’t realize they know each other or at the least think he’s just making small talk with a stranger.

“No,” she states bluntly as she glances at him out of the corner of her eye. “This happens often?”

“Huh? Them? Oh yeah. Well, not all the time, but especially after a big win like yesterday, yeah.” He rubs the back of his neck as he meets her glance. “Don’t worry, they won’t follow you out of here as long as I leave before you.” That’s right, she had barely caught it yesterday, but one of their department leads had brought up that he had done well controlling a situation downtown while on a patrol.

“Hm, okay. As long as I’m not late,” she says under her breath as she nervously starts to rub her palms together. His eyes follow the slope of her arm to her hands, taking notice of her lack of gloves but his glance lingers on her reddened knuckles, from the cold or working with them, he’s unsure. Admittedly, Hawks hasn’t thought of Akira much since they met the first time. She was pretty in a unique way, but when you’re a Pro Hero, you meet a lot of people, so their meeting came and went without much thought. But now seeing her chapped hands drudges up the memory of her sore-looking knuckles on the rooftop a week prior.

“Ha, no worries. Actually,” he pauses and shoots a glance back toward the window and gives the gawking press a big grin, only to be met with lots of white flashes, making Akira close her eyes, even though she’s not the one facing the brunt of it. “We could slip out the back.”

“We?” She whispers harshly under her breath, worried the worker approaching with her cup will say something about them standing a little too close together for her liking as he sets it down on the counter for her to take. Hawks’ chuckle under his breath triggers the same fiery feeling in the cavity of her chest, but at least this time it stays contained below her neck. Her cup warms her hands and grounds her when she takes a short sip, almost burning her lip.

“Yeah, I’ve done it a couple of times. You won’t be late, and I’ll get to enjoy my coffee in peace. Win, win! What do ya say?” He gives her a quick nudge and before she gets the chance to decline, his bright eyes shift from her to the worker approaching with his cup before he gives another one of those dazzling smiles. Akira notices he flashes them like candy to get what he wants. “Would it be alright if I escort this poor young lady out the back? You know, they won’t leave her alone now that they’ve seen us together.” He gestures to the window with a slight head nod, and after a moment of brief confusion, the worker nods, gesturing toward the back door.

“Better hurry, though, they look like they really want more of you today,” the worker says under his breath before turning to get back to work, as if he didn’t just address a hero.

“Ha, see? No problem.” He grins at her, cup in hand, before once again ghosting his other hand back around her shoulder, eliciting that same shiver down her spine. With gentle precision, he draws her away from the counter, her quiet protest under her breath going ignored. He guides her in front of him toward the back door, still using himself as a shield from the cameras. Within seconds of realizing Hawks is getting away, the call of the press bleeds into the shop, spiking her adrenaline, her stomach tightening in fear, so she lets him spirit her right out the back door. The cold slaps stings her overheated cheeks, immediately fogging up her glasses, completely blocking her main field of view, but she can barely address it before he’s handing her his cup in her free hand.

“Hold on, little bird!” He laughs in her ear with absolute glee at winning the flight as he takes a firm hold of her around her waist, pulling her back flush to his chest, and pushing off the ground. Suddenly the ground is gone beneath her feet. If she weren’t so shocked, she would scream. Her stomach immediately turns over, more aggressively than before, and she’s thankful she didn’t eat yet this morning. The sound of his beating wings, the whooshing of the wind, and the thunderous heartbeats in her ears are all she can hear. The burning cold of the early morning air is painful against her sensitive skin, the speed of flight making the cold more intense. When she manages to glance down below her glasses’ frames, she can see they’re going up, and up, and up, the once-large dumpsters behind the shop shrinking. The towering sides of the buildings around them sweep up to meet them, giving her an intense case of vertigo, and what little vision she has begins to spin. She is just barely able to make out the back door of the coffee shop swinging open and a few of the press storm through, but almost instantly Hawks darts around the side of the building beside them, making her lose all sense of direction.

“H-Hawks, you bastard!” She rasps, clutching the cups like he commanded, hoping to the gods above that she hasn’t accidentally spilled them, and the pain of the heat hasn’t hit her yet due to her adrenaline coursing through her veins. Her voice comes in a meek little squeal against the wind, completely drowned out. However, his laugh carries right over the wind, his joy radiant as he gives her an affirming squeeze around her waist once more.

“Just a few more seconds, little chickadee,” he practically sings in her ear as a tease as he sweeps them right up to the roof of his agency. Careful upon landing, he lands first, making himself a grounding force as he sets her feet down in front of his. It takes a moment for the rush of flight to wear off, and Hawks pushes his blinders back like a headband, his free arm still holding her flush against him. Her balance hasn’t returned, and she is trembling like a leaf in the wind in his grasp. Instinctively he gives her upper arm an affirming rub with his free hand, as if to warm her through her thick coat.

“Easy there, little bird, take a second,” his tone is sweet as she manages to take a step away, nearly stumbling like a deer trying to walk for the first time. He keeps an arm around her as it dawns on him how unsteady she truly is. Was she about to faint?

Despite being on solid ground, Akira’s world continues to spin, her hands shaking. With barely any presence of mind, she tries to hand him the drinks before she accidentally dumps whatever is left of them. Suddenly uncertain, he lets her go completely to take them from her and quickly sets them on a nearby table before turning back to her, but already she’s sitting on the ground, looking absolutely disheveled and her skin comes off as a slight shade of green.

“Don’t. Ever. Do that again,” she barely rasps between gritted teeth. The sternness in her tone catches him off guard as he quickly kneels beside her.

“Sorry about that, I should have warned you first.” He immediately begins accessing her condition. With trembling hands, she takes off her fogged-up glasses, and for the first time, he can see how terrified she is, her deep brown eyes blown wide with fear.

“Oh, little bird, I didn’t mean-,” he comforts as his hand lightly caresses the back of her head.

“Shut it. Just-,” she bats his hand away and manages a slow, shaky inhale for breath as she finally meets his worried gaze. “Just give me a minute.” Dejected, his brows are bunched together and his permanent smile has crumbled to a frown for once. He nods before taking off his glove and pressing the back of his hand to her already clammy forehead. When she glances up at him from the corner of her eye, the slight light of the sun catches the scruff on his chin. She hadn’t noticed it before since the hair is blonde.

“Shit, I didn’t mean to scare you, Hatori, I really didn’t, I’m sorry,” he is practically stringing his sentences along as he watches to see if she has any change in her condition. To his surprise, however, she chuckles as she slowly leans to lay flat on your back, her breath visible as puffs of hot air in the cold.

“Funny you remember my name when you’re scared,” her words are weak, but the chuckle is still in her voice. Her words, again, surprise him. “And I said to shh. How were you supposed to know I am afraid of heights like that,” her poor, chapped hands rub her face, finally bringing some relief to her oncoming nausea. He observes suspiciously, continuing to access her, rolling her words over in his head.

“Still, I’m sorry. Do you need anything, any aid?” She shakes her head no, which he doesn’t believe, not when she still appears to be green. When he persists, she looks at him from between her fingers.

“If you want to feel useful, lay down and look.” He gives her a confused look before she points up to the sky. “Watch the stars go out. We still have time.” His gaze follows her finger up to the sky which is now easing into an early morning orange, but it’s still dark enough that some of the stars are visible.

“Promise that’ll help?” He gives her a side glance as he’s already shifting to lie down beside her, and she nods.

“Yeah, I promise,” her voice is still quiet and shaky, but she seems more grounded than before. He adjusts his wings before fully reclining, and he’s surprised at just how many stars he can see. Then he remembers her glasses.

“Can you even see them without your glasses?” He prods a tease and earns a light giggle.

“Barely, only a few of the brighter ones. I’m nearsighted, but the bright ones, they still shine for me.” She lets her hands fall to be crossed over her stomach, her breath far more steady now, and the two of them fall into a comfortable silence. Hawks is surprised at the ease of it. Now that he’s thinking about it, he hasn’t had a calm moment like this in a long time. Has he ever been this still before? They lay like that for a while, watching as the sky brightens, blinking out most of the stars. “You know,” she breaks the silence as she twiddles the zipper pull on her coat, “it always surprises me how many you can actually see in the city sometimes, during times like this. I mean, it’s not like living in the countryside, no light pollution out there. But right now? This is the most I’ve seen in years.” The nostalgia dripping off her words oddly brings him a sense of comfort, relief even.

“I wouldn’t know. I grew up here.” He gives her one more glance, and her normal coloring has returned, thank god. He didn’t want to have to take her to the hospital over something he did. She hums softly, considering.

“Sometimes I want to move back to the countryside, when I remember how quiet and calm it is,” she returns his glance, “at least, through rose-colored glasses, it was great. But, I…,” she chews on the inside of her cheek before continuing, “It’s better that I’m here.” And just like that, she’s looking back up at the sky as if there are no cares in the world. Hawks doesn’t know what to say to that, so he lets the silence stretch on for a few more minutes before her phone buzzes in her pocket. A quick glance and she is slowly sitting up to turn off the alarm.

“You okay now?” Hawks asks softly as he sits up next to her, taking note that her clamminess appears to have passed.

“Mhmm, I’m okay,” she glances at him from under her lashes. “Sorry I reacted like that. I appreciate what you did. Between unwanted crowds or heights, I guess you chose the lesser of the two evils.” He laughs at that, glad she seems to be more herself now.

“Nah, don’t be sorry,” His big grin is back, “I won’t do that again, not without your permission.” He sticks out his tongue as a tease before getting up and offering his hand to help her, which she takes without question. The sudden vertical motion nearly triggers vertigo again, but she catches her balance. Once he’s sure she’s not going to fall right back to the ground, he turns to grab their drinks.

“At least we still have coffee, yeah?” He chuckles as he hands her the cup with her name on it, and to her surprise, it’s still mostly full.

“Thanks,” she smiles and manages to take a proper drink this time, and it settles her upset stomach if only a little bit. Hawks watches her features as she takes another drink. Her soft content sigh melts away any more worry, which pulls a genuine smile across his face instead of his grins for show.

“Heh, we should do that again sometime, though! Running for the press is always fun,” he starts for the door, and she goes to follow.

“Yeah, right, like I’m letting you scoop me up like that again,” she returns his tease with her own, and his sharp, unexpectedly loud laugh makes her laugh, too.

“We’ll see about that,” he gives her a playful glance as they head down the stairs. It doesn’t appear so dark in the hall this time since it was still dark outside, so she’s able to meet his intrigued, honeyed gaze.

“Seriously, I would rather break my fingers than do that again,” earning his laugh once more while they wait for the elevator.

“Ah, but you didn’t even get to see the best part!” He nudges her arm playfully with his elbow, hand in his pocket, before taking a drink of his coffee, looking at her over the brim.

“Yeah, and what’s that? Your shit-eating grin while I’m screaming to be put down?” Her smugness again catches him off guard, like he’s talking to a completely different woman than the one we met a week ago. He nearly chokes on his coffee as another laugh bubbles up.

“Oh, a foul mouth now, are we?”

“Never said I wasn’t one. Besides,” she steps into the elevator once it opens and looks at him as he follows her in, “I didn’t have a reason to cuss you out before. You’re now on my shit list.” His clear, bright laugh bounces off the walls of the elevator and warms her to her core, a tingle racing from the back of her head down her spine.

“Damn, you’re brutal,” he chuckles as he presses their floors with his index finger, cup still in hand.

“Only when I need to be,” she smiles sweetly at him before taking a drink from her cup, and he nearly catches his breath. Who is she? Where’d she come from? Aside from other heroes, no one talks to him like that, and he’s not going to lie, he loves it. It’s not often he’s treated as normal.

“Well, Hatori of the reparations department, I’d love to stay and bitch about how awful flight and the press are, but I have to get to work, and so do you.” Before the doors slide open, he once again claps his free hand on her shoulder with a small squeeze before setting out and giving her a backward glance. “See ya around, little chickadee.” Without even thinking, she casually gives him a teasing wave, her cup still lingering at her lips. The next thing she knows, she’s alone in the elevator, absolutely dumbfounded at how her mood went from hating this morning to despising Hawks, from feeling utterly grateful that he stayed on the roof with her to cheekily teasing him in return. By the time she makes it to her cubicle, her coffee is drained, her mood is over the moon, and the queasiness in her stomach is gone, allowing her to settle into her seat and jump right into work, surprising Yuri who sits across from her.

“Hey, what happened to you? You’re never this happy in the morning,” he teases before lowering his voice and leaning into her cubicle. “You didn’t take someone home from work last night, did you?” That earns him a sharp laugh. She had told him of her dancing work, so he knows the nature of it, and she’s thankful he’s accepting and willing to tease about it.

“Not that that’s any of your business, but no. Can’t I have a good morning?”

~~~

Previous Chapter --- Next Chapter

[nymphoma]

It's funny how the longer you deal with depression, the more you can start to accept the feelings as a normal part of your everyday life. But then every once in a while you can take a step back and take a glance at your life from another perspective and see how much depression has destroyed the ebb and flow of your life as it used to stand. Feels like a constant downhill battle that is invalidated by the fact that most people in your situation wouldn't struggle as hard as you do. They would have found a way out, but you struggle at the simplest tasks. Getting out of bed is one thing, taking a shower and cleaning your room and doing chores and working and getting outside and exercising and making food and keeping healthy and socializing. It's too much, so instead of doing all of them, you just take the ones that get you through the day and do those. Because it's all about getting through to the next day. And then maybe you get to the weekend and everything's okay for a bit because there's one less thing on your weekly plate and maybe you get to relax a bit. Or maybe something happens and you don't get that break and you gotta keep working over. And it kills you inside a bit because you were really looking forward to that break on the weekend, really depended on it to keep going. And then more things get piled on. You were already struggling to stay afloat, but now you're worried about a friend who is suicidal or work is subtly threatening you with letting you go. But you gotta keep pushing through. So maybe you try to calm down with alcohol to keep your nerves. Or coffee to accelerate your performance so maybe you can get another thing done on that list. And you can feel yourself losing more and more of your routine. Your room starts to get messy, because that's not something that you really need to worry about right now. Or your desk is dusty because in the grand scheme of things, who cares right? You eat because it fuels you, but not healthy because you just need the bare minimum to stay afloat. And all the while you're just so damn emotionally isolated because everyone you tell wants to suggest things, but you just don't have the energy to try something new. You're just doing what you know has worked for so long and it takes an abundant amount of energy to fix that situation. Maybe you feel guilty so you try to fix it, and that takes so much out of you too. And on top of everything else, you want to have friends who care about you and you can laugh with and be intimate with, but it's so hard to find that for someone who can barely function outside of the minimum possible social upkeep over discord. I sound so happy and normal that everyone just assumes that I'm all good but I'm genuinely consistently reaching my limit and half the time I don't even think about it that hard but it's always happening and people don't assume because i'm not really that vocal about it and i'm always laughing (or maybe i'm not, i've never been good at assessing how i am around other people! i'm a mystery to myself). I struggle with things that most people don't and I don't have a lot going on so how could I struggle this hard? Depression is a bitch and so is anxiety. It's all fucked up. But I've accepted it as a normal part of my everyday life because I've been struggling like this since high school at least and while it's gotten better over the years, i've never quite achieved what I need to. it's continued to be a plague in my life. If I could describe the feeling to someone who has never been depressed, it feels like I am stuck, frozen while everything i care about is being sucked into a black hole. like i am powerless to make change and everything i want is out of reach and being consistently destroyed. like i can come up with strategy but never execute it because i can't move. it's so cold here i don't even know how to process it most days, so i keep it inside because how can you describe this to someone who has never felt it?

[strawberri-champagne]

Highest Self

Physical Health (exercise + diet) My Why - My body is a temple, and I deserve to worship it and be worshiped. How can I do that if I eat like garbage, I'll feel like garbage. I am a goddess waiting in human form. -one hour of dedicated physical activity daily in the morning to be done within 30 minutes of waking up (yoga flow, cardio, weight training, swimming) -diet is to be 80 / 20 for healthier foods to comfort foods (further guidelines to help change mindset) -drink only water and tea during the work week (smoothies excluded) and save sodas and alcohol for the weekend -cook for yourself until you can afford to pay someone to make your meals for you

Physical Appearance (personal grooming + style) My Why - I do not put enough self-respect on my appearance, opting to just blend in when I know what I want to look like. Standing out is not a bad thing, standing out is what I am meant to do. -skin is clear due to a consistent but simple skincare routine -hair is healthy and styled effortlessly daily -make-up is tasteful, natural looking and enhancing of my best features -nails are always well trimmed and have a coat of polish on -slowly upgrade the closet to have better quality clothes that I will know how to style into full outfits (style board to come) -take care of my clothes (iron, steam, dry clean as necessary, store properly etc) to make myself feel my best -showers daily, washing hair as needed

Career My Why - I have enough passion and drive to be in charge of my own career. Working at a job where I have zero control and where my hard work goes unrewarded is not what I want. I will achieve my dreams outside of the typical path. -be a published author of a well accepted and loved book series -create online content of lifestyle genre and have a following who relate to my passions in life -run a course to help teach others who to write stories and be more creative

Finances (income + savings) My Why - I want a luxurious life. I don't need it to be over the top, I'm not striving for that. But I want to live a life so comfortable and free of financial burden, that I can do what I want and spend how I like. I deserve and want luxury. -have multiple (minimum three) streams of income -have learned how to invest properly and are doing it well -savings are plentiful, I am never burdened by high cost goals -making over £75k yearly

Environment (home + spaces) My Why - I want to be in a space that I tailor to my life, to have it be beautiful and a representation of our life together (mine and my partner). It'll be tasteful and beautiful and quietly grand. -home office for writing that has all my 'quirkier' likes (read spookier) -beautiful 3 bedroom home -catered spaces that each have their own cohesive aesthetic with singular purpose

Relationships (lover + family + friends) My Why - You are made up of the personalities in your inner circle. So I need to be more exclusive with who has access to that inner circle. -proper date nights with the Boy, at least two a month (going out of the house, dressing up, planning) -speaking with all family members minimum two Sundays a month -actively reaching out and making plans with friends -no toxic people have the privilege of being in my life

Habits My Why - Routines are the foundation for success. These will help build who I am, turn my identities into reality, and lift me higher. -morning routine: exercise, shower, make up, style hair, planner/gratitudes, green tea -evening routine: skin care, reading, journalling, writing -Sunday resets: deep clean house, meal prep, laundry, tech free -healthy habits: vitamins, ACV shots, minimum 2L of water, bed by 10 PM, -mindset habits: no Netflix during week, reading daily, meditate, tech free after 8 PM

Spirituality My Why - I am a spiritual being. I need to find her and let her guide me through this life. -Tarot readings done as needed -Meditate with crystals -Get out in nature often -Open to studying

[my-child-is]

My Child is Neurotypical

So I made a few...dozen...posts on twitter about my experiences being neurodivergent. They’re a roughly 60/40 split between being autistic and having adhd with heavy overlap. They take the form of a parent in denial saying “My child is neurotypical” and the response of “Your child is X” where X is a common neurodivergent experience phrased as if coming from a teacher.

(I’ll be updating these as I make more)

Classroom

Your child was a pleasure to have in class

Your child can’t focus unless they’re playing with something

Your child has awful handwriting

Your child is tapping their foot through class

Your child just needs to apply themselves. They can clearly do the work but keep making silly mistakes

Your child had a breakdown over not getting all their homework done

Your child is quiet and struggling to stay on task

Your child thinks school was indistinguishable from torture but struggles without the structure

Your child needs outside structure or they can’t figure out what to do first

Sensory - Sound

Your child hears the CRT TV noise (double this if they hate it)

Your child needs to cover their ears any time you use a blender

Your child wants to know where that buzzing is coming from

Your child can tell if the fridge has been opened recently from the other room

Sensory - Touch

Your child can’t wear rough or slippery fabrics

Your child hates any texture beyond flannel (any other distinctive texture works too)

Your child hates tags on clothing

Your child overheats in thick socks

Your child wears sportswear but hates sports (@checkerfired1 on twitter)

Your child thinks water has a strange texture

Your child finds showering exhausting but also doesn’t want to get out at the end

Your child can’t stand the feeling of oil on their skin

Sensory - Light

Your child sat in the dark from noon til sunset before starting their day

Your child thinks sunlight is ‘too much’

Memory

Your child forgot they were hungry halfway through making dinner

Your child has had midnight new years pass by because they forgot to wait for it

Your child can’t keep a grasp on time

Your child is confused about how it’s already evening

Your child has over 50 tabs open in chrome

Your child can only ‘wing it’ because they always forget what they planned to say

Your child made a list of what they needed to do and forgot to check it

Your child came up with a ‘my child is neurotypical’ post but forgot

Stimulation

Your child can’t focus without background music

Your child thinks everybody is exhausted after conversations

Your child drinking caffeine is like a roulette wheel in its effects

Your child struggles thinking while seated

Your child likes to constantly be chewing on something

Your child finds crowds overwhelming

Your child finds existing at night less exhausting

Sleep

Your child is reading this in the middle of the night

All of your child’s friends live on the opposite side of the world because they can’t maintain a traditional sleep schedule

Your child had midnight new years pass by because they’re normally awake well past then even as an adult

Your child has trouble quieting their brain to sleep

Dyspraxia

Your child is extremely klutzy

Your child’s phone typing is riddled with typos

Empathy

Your child felt guilty for bumping into the table

Your child is painfully uncomfortable watching shows with awkward situations

Your child cries even thinking about somebody being in pain

Your child is extremely trusting with new people they just met

Emotions

Your child has lots of mood swings

Your child hates compliments because they’re sure they’ll disappoint and alienate anyone who thinks anything good about them (from @MaebyIsSweet on twitter)

Sharing

Your child shares extremely personal experiences with people they just met

Your child can talk for hours about the same subject without getting tired

Communication

Your child learned nonverbal communication from the family dog/cat

Your child gets frustrated because people can’t understand them

Your child has been discussing the same topic for 30 minutes without taking a break to breath

Your child tends to speak repetitively - they may feel somewhat scripted

Your child feels like an alien sent to observe humans

Your child cries when instructions aren’t clear enough

Your child communes with animals because they make more sense than people

Your child doesn’t see the point of small talk

Your child finds comfort in the scriptedness of small talk

Your child is anxious about misreading people’s intentions

Your child is anxious about contacting somebody because they think it’s too last second

Your child gets frustrated when instruction manuals skip steps

Your child is constantly anxious about misunderstanding

Your child needs subtitles to hear anything

Your child has times they struggle to make words

Consistency (Anxiety)

Your child asks for the same meal every time they come home

Your child watched a single movie more than 3 times in one day

Your child feels anxious watching new movies or tv shows

Your child nearly has a stress breakdown if plans change last second

Your child’s anxiety spikes every time you ask them a question

Your child has a favourite song they’ve listened to for a week straight

Your child finds split second decision making stressful

Your child gets anxious if they don’t exactly follow their daily routine

Masking

Your child can pick up accents easily

Your child grew up wishing they could just go live in the forest away from people

Your child gets anxious when you ask aabout their day

Your child emotionally relates to fictional characters more than real people

Your child has said ‘I just don’t have the energy to act human right now’

Your child has described people as ‘just too much’

Your child was so ashamed of being different they tried to reshape their personality so people would like them

Misc ones I haven’t really sorted yet

Your child is protective and doesn’t like anybody new coming into their room

Your child wishes it was easier to get up and do what they need to

Your child is confused by how other people relate to their gender

Your child thinks their functioning is an inconvenience to people

Your child is either ‘on’ or ‘off’ and there is no in between

Your child gets stuck in excitement feedback loops with their friends

Your child is convinced they just aren’t working hard enough

Your child is on their third hobby this week

Your child spaces out randomly during the day

Your child considers every step of getting dressed an individual task they have to do (from @sisi7304 on twitter)

Your child differentiates between food they like and food they think is good (@sweetmoonpigeon on twitter)

Your child has severe imposter syndrome about whether they’re neurodivergent ‘enough’

Your child isn’t sure what they’re supposed to do to be a man or a woman

Your child’s fingers and toes change colour in the cold

[writethatdown]

so I was in a pretty bad rut for a few weeks, and now I'm in a fairly better place, still not living on a full fledge but the initial fog has lifted.

rut could be from a lot of things: burnout, lack of motivation, procrastination, outside triggers, bad mental health, or the overwhelming feeling of life falling apart but too numb to act upon it. the causes of it could be numerous as well: online schooling, student stress, work stress, a certain relationship with someone not working out or being stuck at an uncomfortable environment.

so I just want to remind you that you aren't alone love. you will eventually find a way out. you just gotta give yourself time.

note: this isn't science supported or anything. it's just a bunch of thoughts I had while I was trying to get back the stability in my life. I'm not all the way successful at handling my daily routine like a pro either. if any of you have better alternative in mind, feel free to add/correct.

let yourself feel: give yourself some time to feel the sadness, cry about it, wrap yourself up in blankets, sleep if you're tired and let it all out.

remind yourself about the things that makes you feel happy and the things you love: so when your life slows down and everything seems to be distasteful, it maybe because you haven't revisited your favorite hobbies in a long time. maybe you had detached yourself from your comfort shows, books, any form of entertainment. so go back to them. remind yourself about the things which makes you, you.

change the perspective around this funk phase: now the immediate response we have when we hit a rut is the guilt of not being productive. well you see, the first ultimate aim should be to get yourself back together. what have you been shoving away for too long? maybe it's a good talk with your best friend, go talk to your support group and the people who make you feel loved. but if you're someone stuck in a place where there aren't much people to remind you that irl, read posts from the #selfcare #gentlereminders tags on tumblr or pinterest. there are so many sweet people across the internet who know how you feel and have written about the same. listen to music, vent in a diary and get yourself back.

some ideas to get some serotonin inside you: music + dance, if you haven't taken a shower in a while—change your clothes, put on some dry shampoo and deo and comb your hair with fingers. eat and hydrate. aesthetic vlogs on youtube. making moodboards on pinterest for your favorite show, band, movie, aesthetic, anything. paint, draw, doodle or color. rewatch your comfort shows, movies or series. read or reread the works from your fave genre. stretch a little. make lists of random things. watch the sunset. look at clouds and stars. write a letter to your loved one, your past self or your future self.

identify the things which went out of proportion these days: maybe you were not taking care of properly these few days. not enough hydration, food maybe? find that out and make a reminder to slowly getting back into it. not by the span of a day. give yourself a week or two if you need to it's okay!

think about what new things are to be implemented and what was not working earlier: only now you will have to focus with the problem at hand. let's say your poor organization for school led to this much frustration. it's okay. we all learn gradually. so find out how you can organize better. there's literally so many resources across each of these problems on the internet. and once you do, start really small. as said earlier, give yourself enough time to get used to it. unrealistic expectations will make sticking to habits hard.

always remember winding down and taking some time out for your soul is important as well: the thing about consistency is to always go back to our why's and values and our happy things as frequently as possible. we tend to forget about the little things which are parts of us. so take time out for your hobbies and loved ones!

I'm not sure how much of a help these had been. I hope this makes sense. getting yourself back up doesn't happen in a day. give yourself as much time as you want. please please please don't be hard on that cute little yourself. that thing which brought you down was hard enough and you fought through all of it love! so I want you to give yourself a loving pat on the back and be proud! do feel free to share your experience and tips regarding this. it'll be greatly appreciated!!

[spinster-sisters]

Hii, i liked that "hongjoong as boyfriend" so much, could u make one for san, pls? 🤧❤️

San as a boyfriend:

One word: handsy.

He is always coming up to you just to give you a nice squeeze. Not even necessarily sexually, just finds it comforting.

And he stops for no one, it doesn’t matter who’s around, he will still take a palm full of ass just for the vibes.

He is also the king of grand gestures, I have mentioned this before but he is the type to ask you out by blasting a boom box outside your house with a big sign. Any special occasion turns into an absolute EVENT when your with him.

Like to the point where he would show up at your work with flowers just because it’s a Friday.

He is incredibly sweet. Absolutely showers you with love and once again isn’t afraid to let the world know.

But let say it’s just a normal day with absolutely nothing going on, he is physically capable of finding chill. It’s not like you would feel smothered or anything.

He does tease you a fair amount. Just like mild pokiness. Mostly just because he likes flustering his partners.

But all of that being said I do think that more than anything San is a creature of habit. Your day to day life you be very consistent even if that means consistently doing sweet things, it’s still a routine. Like making you coffee in the morning every day, not because he wakes up every day trying to be nice, but just because that’s what he does when he wakes up.

He probably doesn’t even realize how doting he can be because to him it is just normal behavior. He expects to end every day having long talks not because he’s trying to spend time with you, but just because that’s what he wants to do. If that makes sense.

In reality he is probably pretty shy if you were to point it out to him because genuinely it was not his intention to be overly sweet he is just so inherently loving it’s just happens.

Once again, as far as dates go, every single one is one of a kind and incredibly extravagant. Not necessarily expensive but always very special.

Think along the lines of hot air ballooning or a weekend trip to a waterfall or someone sappy like that.

I have a hard time seeing San looking for a specific type of person. He can mesh well with just about any personality as long as are able to accept a lot of love basically. He probably just looks for anyone he finds interesting, but that could mean a million different things ya dig?

[bonkie-barnes]

Spoons

natasha romanoff x gn!reader

word count: 2.1k

warnings: chronic illness, mention of medicine, self deprecating thoughts

A/N: this is me 1000% projecting about my guilt that comes with my chronic illnesses. they're kicking my ass rn. this is a vent fic, but if you resonate with this at all, i hope you enjoy :)

- - -

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The alarm clock on Natasha’s bedside table has been going off for a full minute already. You merely roll over and cover your head with Natasha’s pillow. It smells like her.

You have absolutely no energy to get up, let alone reach across the bed to turn the alarm off. Your head feels heavy and your body aches something terrible.

The list of chores you have to do around the house today sits uncomfortably in the back of your mind. The list of friends who have texted you about making plans to hang out sits there too. The idea of staying in bed all day sounds more and more appealing by the second. You know this because the alarm is still blaring into the otherwise peaceful morning air.

Just as you’re gathering the strength to sit up and turn the alarm off, Natasha walks in. She looks at her watch and her brow furrows in confusion.

“What are you doing, sleepyhead?” she asks you with a little smirk. There is concern in her eyes, though she masks it well.

You’re both fully aware the alarm has been going off for seven minutes straight now.

“Just tired, love. You know how much work it takes to reach over,” you say in a joking manner, hopeful that you can get past this without worrying her too much.

Natasha eyes you suspiciously for a second before giving in.

“How was your workout?” you ask her sincerely.

As she starts rambling about her morning activities, you feel a sense of shame. You’ve barely managed to wake up in the time it’s taken her to complete a full workout routine. Hell, you couldn’t even find it in you to turn the alarm off.

You finally focus on her rant as it comes to an end. Natasha is looking at you expectantly. Shit. She’s asked you a question.

“Huh?” you grunt.

She chuckles before answering, “I asked if you were ever going to get up and get in the shower, stinky.”

You put on a fake smile but fail to meet her eyes, the shame eating you up. It has been a few days since your last shower, but it’s just so hard to find the strength and energy to get up and stand in one place for more than a minute or two.

If Natasha notices the far away look in your eyes and the grimace on your mouth, she doesn’t say anything.

After one of the quickest and most unproductive showers you’ve ever taken, you find Natasha waiting for you in the kitchen. She’s taken it upon herself to make breakfast for you both.

You kiss her cheek and thank her as you sit down at the table. The warm cup of coffee she sets down in front of you is a godsend. The warmth emitting from the cup helps to diminish the pain in your knuckles, if only slightly. You send up a silent prayer to whomever might be listening that the caffeine will help with the fatigue today instead of making you sick.

Natasha sits down in the chair next to you with her own plate. She runs her eyes over you in a scrutinizing manner. She wants to think you don’t notice, but you do.

Clearing your throat in hopes to take her focus off you, you ask about her plans for the day.

“Oh, you know, mostly just busy work. I have a ton of paperwork to get through,” she tells you through an exaggerated sigh. “What about you?”

The list of chores screams at you again. “Mostly just some things around the house. Grocery shopping, laundry, boring shit like that.”

Natasha hums around a sip of her coffee. It surprised you just how much cream and sugar she takes in hers. It’s just one of the many unpredictable things about her that made you fall in love.

“Super exciting. I hate to miss out,” she teases you.

You crack a smile to appease her. Inside, though, you realize just how little she understands. These errands seem so simple to her, when to you, they are the most daunting of tasks.

You’re brought out of your thoughts by Natasha standing up to take her plate to the sink. She comes back to kiss your cheek and let you know she’s going to go get ready, before walking out of the room.

You suspect the amount of housework you’ll get done today will be minimal, so you decide to at least make Natasha some lunch. Maybe it will lessen the disappointment she feels when she comes home to see everything exactly as it was when she left, you think.

Your plan is halted as you’re making her sandwich. The stupid cover on the peanut butter jar is stuck. You can’t open it for the life of you. The guilt comes in like a tidal wave. You can’t even do something as simple as make lunch for her, your brain supplies for you.

Natasha returns from getting ready to see you standing in the kitchen with a glare on your tired face.

“What’d the peanut butter do to you this time,” she jokes.

“I can’t.” Tears well up in your eyes.

She comes up to wrap you in a hug from behind. She softly asks, “What can’t you do?”

“I can’t open the jar,” you mutter softly, feeling overwhelmingly embarrassed.

“It’s okay, love. Let me help,” she tells you delicately before kissing the spot under your ear. She can tell this is affecting you more than usual and wishes for nothing more than to be able to take away your distress.

You mutter a thank you before continuing to make her sandwich. You pack everything into a bag and write a small note to finish it off. You know Natasha loves the little messages you leave her periodically, and nothing will stop you from trying to make her as happy as you can.

Goodbyes are said as you both wander closer to the door. Natasha makes sure to hold you longer and tighter than usual. You don’t comment on that.

The silence that encompasses the room as soon as the love of your life leaves is suffocating. You can feel the exhaustion from purely getting up and getting ready creeping up on you. Logically, you know that you shouldn’t overexert yourself, but the shame is eating you up. Already on a roll, might as well keep on going, you think to yourself.

You go back to your mental to-do list and debate what to start with. The grocery store doesn’t sound terrible. Some sun would do you some good. It’s been a few days since you’ve seen the world that exists outside of your house.

Wandering back to the bedroom to get your phone and shoes, you try to push the fatigue from your mind. In your attempt to block out the tiredness, you fail to recognize the ever-present pain in your joints increasing. It’s only when you sit down and bend over to put your shoes on that you register the feeling. Your hips ache severely; so much so, that you can’t hold your position long enough to get your shoe on your foot.

This seems to be the straw that breaks the camel’s back, seeing as you immediately burst into tears. The pain mixed with your inability to do basic, everyday activities completely overwhelms you as you break down.

There’s absolutely no chance that you’re going to complete this task, let alone all the other ones on your list. You let out a sigh as you stand up and shuffle to your room, phone and shoes forgotten in the living room.

You let the weight of your emotions crush you as you climb into bed and under the covers, your wife’s pillow clutched closely to your chest.

Your tears cease to stop, even as you succumb to the sleep you so desperately wished to hold onto this morning.

- - -

Natasha comes home to an eerily silent house. On any typical day, she would come home to the noise of your favorite show or music softly playing, whether it be from a speaker or from your guitar. Your shared house consistently was filled with life and sound. It was one of her favorite parts of her day; coming home to you in your own element, laughing or singing. You are her home.

This newfound silence has her exceptionally worried. Even on your bad days, there was at least a laugh track coming from the TV or the smell of hot chocolate coming from the kitchen. Now, there’s absolutely nothing. For a split second, Natasha thinks that you may never have come back from the grocery. Her heart rate spikes. The sight of your phone on the coffee table and your shoes strewn haphazardly on the floor puts those worries to rest.

“Darling?” she calls from the entryway. There is no response. She carefully removes her boots and coat before moving through every room in the house, calling out for you softly in each.

She makes her way to the bedroom, lightly knocking on the door as she lets herself in. She sees the rise and fall of your chest and is filled with a sense of relief she didn't know she needed.

"Love? Are you awake?"

You grumble out an answer that could be understood as a 'yes'.

Natasha carefully sits down on the side of the bed that you are facing.

"Can you tell me what's going on?" she requests softly, in fear of upsetting the quiet environment of the bedroom and making things worse.

The tears that started up again when you wife called out the first time get even heavier somehow.

"Oh love, come here."

She carefully gathers you in her arms and rests your head on her chest.

"Does this have anything to do with the peanut butter jar this morning?"

You nod. One of your favorite things about your wife is her ability to observe and understand what you're going through.

"I just can't do anything today. Everything hurts and I'm so, so tired," you whisper, followed by a heartbreaking sob.

"It's okay love. Please don't cry," Natasha whispers back.

"But it's not! It's not okay!" You sit up from her chest to let out your rant. "You've done so much today and I could barely wake up. You work so hard and I should be able to do stuff around the house so you can come home and not have to worry about anything," you finish with a sigh.

Your wife puts her hand under your chin, forcing you to look in her direction. "Love, look at me. Believe me when I say that I don't care about the state of the laundry or if the pantry has been stocked. All I care about is you. All I want is for you to be okay. It's killing me that you feel like this and I can't do anything to take it away from you. What I can do, though, is tell you just how proud I am of you. You are the strongest person I know, and I work with the Avengers."

You giggled at that. Natasha smiles at your small second of happiness.

"Are you sure? Because I was going to get so much done today and I was trying to-"

Natasha cuts you off with a soft kiss.

"My love. Listen to me. All I care about is your health and happiness. If staying in bed and catching up on sleep is what you needed today, then that's all I expect from you. I never want you to hurt yourself trying to do more than you can. We all have limits. It’s okay to need a break some days. I love you and I am so very, very proud of you."

With a long look into her eyes, all you find is love and adoration directed towards you. There's no disgust or disappointment as you had anticipated.

"I love you too," you utter quietly.

Natasha smiles and leaves a long kiss on your forehead. "What if we got some pain killers and some food in you? We can even put on your favorite movie. Does that sound good?"

You nod. Natasha gets up to get you some medicine and to order some food, while you get your favorite movie loaded on the TV.

Later that night, when both your stomachs are full and your wife is obnoxiously singing along to the songs in the movie just to make you laugh, you realize just how loved you are.

You don't know how tomorrow will treat you, or the day after that. What you do know, however, is that Natasha will always be there to support and love you. Your pain level and ability to function is always an uncertainty, but your wife's love will never be.

- - -

A/N: as always, i try to keep it gender neutral. if you find a mistake, please let me know! feedback is appreciated! to all my chronic illness buddies out there: i love you, you've got this :)

taglist: @007giu

[goingmorry]

ONE PIECE [Headcanons for Everyday Life - Monster Trio]

Synopsis: How Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji spend their daily life. (Source)

Word Count: 1,866

MONKEY D. LUFFY

Daily Routine

Does the future Pirate King have a specific routine he follows consistently? Hell no. He's as impulsive and scatter-brained as they come.

His lack of a routine causes more stress to his crew than himself. Luffy can't follow a plan to save his life, much to the dismay of his crew but, having known him for so long, they've adapted well to his shenanigans.

He's the one reassuring the more nervous members of his crew, specifically Nami, Usopp, and Chopper, that everything will be fine.

Whatever interests him at that moment, he'll do. If Usopp invites him to go fishing, he'll compete for who can catch the biggest haul. If he's hungry, despite having eaten a substantial breakfast 30 minutes ago, he'll call for Sanji to cook some meat. If Franky instructs him to assist him with a new invention, he'll happily comply.

Waking Up

Luffy doesn't have a set schedule for when he sleeps - he just does.

He doesn't require as much sleep in the first place - averaging about five hours every day - unless, of course, he's recovering from injuries. In which case, he'll sleep for however long it takes for his body to recover, be it 12 hours or three days.

Be prepared for him to straight-up pass out regardless of the time or place.

He'll make sure he's surrounded by someone he trusts that can protect him, so he doesn't inconvenience them as much, but when he can't prevent himself from getting some shuteye, he'll do it irrespective of consequences.

He wakes up of his own accord, without the prompting of his crew or alarms.

When he wakes up, that's it. He's off to his next adventure. He doesn't need time to get dressed; he proceeds to start the day, wearing the same signature red vest and blue shorts he wore the day before.

First Thing

It doesn't take much for Luffy to get ready when he wakes.

Meat's the first thing he thinks about, stomach growling in anticipation as he rushes off to the kitchen.

The smell of Sanji's delicious cooking is enough to make him alert. He doesn't need any further motivation to start the day.

Eating Habits

Luffy has the most voracious appetite of the crew. In the wise words of Nami, his hunger is absolutely limitless.

On multiple occasions, his appetite had gotten the crew into trouble when he ate every single piece of food that was supposed to last them the journey to their next destination.

If he physically could, he'd eat every second of the day.

He needs meat. That's it. Though, he'll eat pretty much anything.

He's not a picky eater and doesn't have any food allergies.

Hygiene Habits

Luffy puts off showering as much as possible, only doing so once or twice a week.

He prefers lukewarm showers and won't even entertain the idea of a bath.

Showers are quick, about five minutes tops. He's not willing to spend any longer bathing. It's just something he does when Nami and Sanji start complaining about his smell.

He shaves when he showers since he doesn't grow much facial hair. He combines both activities simultaneously.

When shaving, he'll grab whoever's razor is available in the men's shared baths - most likely Zoro's or Usopp's.

He'll grab the closest shampoo or bar/liquid soap, too, applying both to his hair and body. Some days, he'll wash his hair with body soap. Some days, he'll wash his body with shampoo. He doesn't care.

He loves to dry himself with soft and fluffy bath towels since they remind him of Chopper's fur.

He brushes his teeth whenever it occurs to him, thanks to Chopper for reminding him every so often.

And that's the extent of grooming he'll do.

Flossing's pretty much out of the question.

Skincare is non-existent. He washes his face when he showers, which is rare enough as is, using the same soap he uses for his body on his face.

RORONOA ZORO

Daily Routine

The only thing consistent in Zoro's routine is his morning workout. Everything else is fluid.

His training, however, does change depending on what he feels he needs improvement on.

If, for some reason, his morning workout gets interrupted, he gets annoyed though he doesn't hold it against anyone.

He takes great pride in his goal of becoming the world's greatest swordsman, so when circumstances arise where he misses training, he can't help but feel mildly peeved at that moment.

He recovers quickly. After all, he finds strong emotions to distract him from his training. He'd rather resolve the issue himself by working out as soon as in his free time.

Waking Up

Zoro's sleep schedule is not too dissimilar from a cat's. He naps throughout the day, never longer than three hours at a time.

He doesn't use alarms. He'll wake up whenever he wants to.

He has selective hearing when he sleeps, able to discern true danger from the careless bickering of his crewmates.

When he feels unease, he's immediately awake, hands grasping the hilts of his swords, ready to strike at a moment's notice.

If he's recovering from injuries, he'll sleep five hours at max before he regains consciousness. If the injuries are severe enough, he won't move as much, but he'll remain coherent for a while.

First Thing

When Zoro wakes, usually after resting in the crow's nest or on the ship's deck, he starts the day off with a morning workout.

He has incredible self-discipline, refusing to eat breakfast until he completes his workout. Because of his work ethic, he's usually the last person to join the crew for a meal.

He puts off grooming himself until he needs to.

Eating Habits

Zoro prefers drinking alcohol to consuming food.

He understands the need for proper nutrition, however, so he eats whatever the curly brow bastard makes.

Somehow, in their time together, Sanji discovers that Zoro prefers eating rice meals with Sea King meat. Zoro doesn't ever comment on this and just quietly eats.

He eats three standard meals daily - breakfast, lunch, and dinner - with the company of his crew. In between the day, he drinks copious amounts of alcohol.

He hates sweets, so don't even think of giving them to him. It's going to be fed to Chopper or dumped into the trash.

He doesn't ever have food cravings outside of strong alcohol.

His guilty pleasure food is sour gummy candies. Chopper fed it to him once, and Zoro couldn't find it in him to say no, so he took a bite and found it surprisingly enjoyable. He only eats it when Chopper sneakily hands it to him.

Hygiene Habits

Like Luffy, he puts off properly showering as much as possible, doing so only once a week.

This may seem disgusting, especially considering Zoro's inclination to sweat profusely during his intense workout sessions. He does, however, soak in saltwater when he does swimming laps in the sea.

Zoro likes to be clean-shaven. He owns his own razor, and he shaves his facial hair in the bathroom sink every other day. When he has a proper shower, he shaves in the shower instead.

He uses standard liquid body soap and two-in-one shampoo and conditioner, something that Sanji bought the boys to share.

If the soap and shampoo/conditioner runs out, he doesn't say anything. He'll make-do with water.

Usopp has to ask Sanji to buy them new hygiene products when they reach the next island.

You'll never catch him having a bath unless the entire crew goes to an onsen.

He'll slap on some deodorant after a workout as an alternative to showering. It only takes him a few seconds, preferable to spending a few minutes underwater.

Surprisingly, he consistently brushes his teeth and uses mouthwash due to Chopper's insistence. He doesn't want to disappoint, so he does so without complaint.

SANJI

Daily Routine

Without fail, Sanji prepares for bed at 11:30 at night and wakes up when his alarm rings at 5.

His morning routine consists of spending 20 minutes every morning brushing his teeth, washing his face, shaving his facial hair, moisturizing, dressing up, and applying cologne.

His nightly routine is similar with the inclusion of flossing and rinsing with mouthwash. He also prepares his clothing for the next day.

Sanji cares deeply about his appearance, and it shows with the way he grooms himself.

As the chef, he has to abide by a strict schedule since his crew relies on him to prepare everyone's meals.

Waking Up

Sanji's alarm rings at precisely 5 in the morning, and he quickly gets off the bed.

He never snoozes his alarm. It rings no more than three times before he turns it off. He's a morning person.

He has plenty of time to get dressed, having pre-selected his suit the night before.

First Thing

Sanji loves to brew himself a coffee, only with creamer and no sugar, as the first drink to start his day.

While his coffee brews, he prepares a light meal for himself before the rest of the crew wakes.

At 5:30 AM, he's in the kitchen, hard at work preparing everyone else's breakfast.

He is meticulous about his schedule, so if it gets thrown off for whatever reason, he'll feel frazzled.

Eating Habits

When Sanji prepares food for the crew, he quickly eats his own portion immediately after cooking.

He's tried eating after everyone finishes, but it never works out due to Luffy's monstrous appetite. He's had his food stolen by Luffy. Every. Single. Time.

He doesn't eat full meals per se since he taste-tests his food along the way, but he does prepare a decent portion afterward, so he doesn't get hungry.

He rarely eats together with the crew, making sure to cater to everyone's needs during mealtime.

He never wastes food. Ever. He quickly learns everyone's appetite and makes enough food, so there are no leftovers.

With him in the crew, everyone will always taste fresh food.

Having experienced starvation, he never skips the traditional meals, always eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

He doesn't have any food allergies, but he does dislike unhealthy and non-nutritious food.

Hygiene Habits

Sanji is the only man in the crew to shower daily. He has to since he's an avid smoker and cares deeply about presenting himself well to the ladies.

He also handles everyone's meals and is extremely particular in keeping a clean working environment where he cooks.

He has a complete set of hygienic products, ranging from shampoo, conditioner, facial toner, shaving cream, moisturizer, serum, and sunscreen.

He keeps his hair, body, and facial products close to him and refuses to share with the other boys, taking them with him when he's ready to use them and keeping them stashed away in his locker when he's done.

Once he's done showering, he applies deodorant and cologne. The mixed scents work well together and aren't overpowering. Sanji smells damn good, and he knows it.

He likes to shave his facial hair before he showers, perfectly shaping his goatee.

He's not opposed to taking long baths but does prefer cold showers.

He brushes his teeth, flosses, and uses mouthwash every day without fail.

Thanks for reading! 💖

[mosswillow]

Focus - Dark!Bucky Barnes x ADHD!Reader

Warnings! Dark! 18+ content, vaginal fingering, noncon/dubcon, smut, kidnapping, oral (female receiving)

Summary: You never should have taken the job cleaning for Stark industries. The Avengers might be heroes on the outside but something sinister lies just beneath the surface.

A/N: this is part of the Synonyms series. You can read any of them as stand alones but I encourage reading them in order if you want to read all of them. This one specifically ties them all together (but you can still read it alone and it should make sense)

This is one of those where it doesn’t feel done but I’m done writing it. I think I just hyped it up in my head too much so after actually writing it I’m like, eh it’s not as good as I thought it would be.

Word count: 3.4k

If you could just focus, everything in your life would be better.

Your inattention follows you around like a shadow. It stands behind you, silently ruining your life while you try in vain to just focus. Just don’t forget. Just stop losing things. Just pay attention. Teachers in school would tell you to stop daydreaming, that if you just listened you could do so much better. Growing up, Your parents treated you like you would never amount to anything. They would push your siblings to do well in school but when it came to you they were silent, unwilling to spend energy on a kid who couldn’t even make it through a family dinner without getting distracted. Everyone around you would laugh at your “quirky” personality. You know that for other people you’re funny, always getting yourself into trouble and making silly mistakes. You don’t think it’s funny though and you never did.  As a kid you would frequently cry yourself to sleep. You found ways to hide your stupidity so that just maybe others might overlook your shadow. You’ve tried so hard to act normal, to make check lists and routines but it never works and you always find yourself once again brought to tears after your inevitable failure.

This is why you took the job at Stark Tower all those years ago. You knew you wouldn’t excel at school  and so you took the first job you could find, cleaning for Stark Industries. It’s something you’re actually good at and the only routine in your life you’ve been able to consistently follow. It makes you move around constantly and there’s always some different puzzle to solve. You love the feeling of finally getting out a tough stain from the carpet or finding the perfect tool to finally get to a hard to reach spot.

Now, after years of hard work and an extensive background check you’ve been promoted to cleaning the Avengers floor. You have a generous salary now, health insurance, your own place with no roommates. Some people may judge what you do but you don’t care anymore. It’s honest work and you love it.

---

You walk into stark tower, showing security your badge before heading to the elevator and riding it up to the Avengers floor. You’ve had this job for a few weeks now but you still feel nervous every day. If you’re honest you’re scared of them, the Avengers, They feel unhinged. It’s nothing they do or say. It’s the general vibe you get when you’re around them, like they’re filled to the brim with unbridled anger that hides underneath a cracking exterior. Any moment they might break completely and whatever trauma they’ve all been through will spill out and consume anyone who dares stand close to them.

You start your day in one of the many bathrooms, scrubbing every surface before taking your cleaning supplies and working your way through the floor. Every day is much of the same, you spend all day cleaning the massive Avengers living area, trying your best to stay out of their lives.

You turn a corner and see Captain America with someone, a new recruit you’ve seen around but haven't met. He has her against the wall, pushing his finger into her pussy. You stand stunned for a second.

“If I don’t take action now I might lose you and I can’t lose you.” Captain America says.

You turn and jump back behind the corner, sliding your back down the wall. You can make out some of their conversation and it sounds dramatic. She’s crying and begging him to walk away. You close your eyes and tell yourself to stay out of it. It’s not your place and if you tried to step in you could lose your job.  

You hear footsteps walking towards you. Captain America stops and flashes a smile while you stand up.

“We appreciate privacy here, you understand the consequences if you tell anyone about anything about our personal lives?”

You do know, they had you sign an agreement that said they’d take everything away from you if you talked about their personal lives in any way to anyone. If you value your livelihood you won’t speak a word about it to anyone.

“I’m sorry sir, I saw you there and didn’t want to interrupt. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but, Is… is she ok?”

He crosses his arms and looks you up and down.

“Everything is consensual if that’s what you’re asking, we enjoy a little roleplay sometimes.”

you‘re not totally convinced, something inside you tells you that he’s lying to you. He looks at you so intently and you know, despite his hero status, that he wouldn’t hesitate to get rid of you permanently if he had to. you nod your head and give a smile.

“I’m sorry if I insinuated anything sir.”

He checks his watch before quickly walking away. You exhale and pick up your cleaning supplies. As you walk past her room you stop for a second, deciding if you should knock. You back away, not wanting to interfere more than you already have.

“You’re new here.” a voice says as you reach the living room.

“Yes, I just started a few weeks ago.” you reply.

“I’m Bucky.” he walks over to you, looking you up and down.

“I have a lot of work to finish.” you back up a few steps and hold your cleaning tote in front of you. Bucky stuffs his hands in his pockets and smiles.

“I won’t keep you.”

---

Six months later

---

You walk into Tony’s suite and lean down to plug in your vacuum. A pop of red catches your eye and you pull a thong out from under the nightstand. You turn it over in your hands, deciding what to do with it. A hand comes behind you and takes it from you. You look up to see Tony Stark in front of you, stuffing the thong in his pocket.

“Mr. stark.” you gasp.

“From a one night stand.”

“Of course sir, do you want me to wash and return it to your... friend?”

“No.” Tony says quickly. “That will be all in here today.”

“I haven't vacuumed yet, do you want me to come back later?”

“No, just leave.”

You unplug the vacuum and roll it out the door, turning just briefly to close it behind you. As the door closes you see Tony pull the underwear out of his pocket and bring it to his nose.

You try your best over the next week to keep your mind focused on work. Everything starts to get back to normal.

One evening you hear a thud and someone yell out in pain. You run over to see Tony in the hallway standing threateningly over a woman.

“Is everything ok? You ask.

“We’re fine, you can leave for the night.” Tony says, waving you away. You make eye contact with the woman, looking back and forth between her and Tony. She nods and gives you a small, unconvincing smile. You turn around and walk away, wanting nothing more than to get home and take a long shower. Maybe you can forget about what you just saw.

On your way out you run straight into a wall of muscle.

“Hey, what’s the rush sweetheart.” Bucky catches you, holding onto your shoulders.

“I, uh, I’m sorry sir. Nothing, I’m just anxious to get home I guess.”

“Call me Bucky.”

“Bucky.” you say, moving away from him and towards the door.

“Hey, are you ok?” He takes a step towards you, cocking his head and furrowing his brow.

“Yes sir… Bucky.”

“Hey, you can tell me.”

“No, I can’t.” you look into his eyes, silently communicating the reason for your silence.

Bucky runs his hand through his hair and looks down.

“Your socks match.” he looks up and smiles.

“I’m sorry?” you look at your feet.

“You usually wear mismatched ones, it’s cute.”

You know he meant it to be a fun observation, maybe even a weird complement, but it feels pointed. You always lose your socks, it’s just one of the many small things that you should be able to do better but just can’t. You can’t even keep your life together enough to consistently find matching socks. You give a fake smile, used to laughing at yourself when these things are pointed out.

“Oh, yeah.” you laugh.

Bucky takes an almost imperceptible step towards you and you in turn take a very obvious one backwards.

“I’ll see you tomorrow sir.” you say.

“Bucky.”

“Bucky.” you give a tight smile before walking away.

---

Two weeks later

---

Natasha hands you a book.

“Can you wrap this please?”

“Yes ma'am, whose name should I put?”

“Say to my little bookworm, Love Nat.”

You wrap the present lovingly, putting extra care into it. You’ve seen them together, Nat and her girlfriend. Tony and Steve’s wives mostly keep to themselves but Natashas girlfriend is always nice to you, acknowledging you and thanking you when she sees you working. She owns a bookstore that you’ve visited a few times and always remembers you when you walk in.

“I think you forgot a piece of tape.” Bucky whispers in your ear making you jump. He’s started doing this, becoming more comfortable around you, touching you in small ways and getting just a little closer than what’s appropriate. You grab another piece of tape and secure a bit of paper.

“Thank you.” you say as you tie a bow around the gift and write the note. You pause with your pencil trying to remember what Natasha told you to write. You should have written it down when she told you it. You curse under your breath, wishing you had paid better attention when you were given instructions. You remember it was something easy but not exactly what she wanted.

“I have to get this back to Ms. Romanoff.” you push past Bucky.

“Did I do something to make you upset?”

You stop and look at him.

“No sir”

“Bucky”

“I just prefer to remain professional while at work,” you look down.

“What about outside of work?”

“I would rather keep that life separate. I’m sorry, I just really like this job and don’t want to do anything that might jeopardize it.”

Bucky clenches his jaw and you half expect him to grab you and push you against the wall like you’ve seen the captain and Tony do to their girlfriends and then wives. You flinch when he takes a step towards you. He reaches out, brushing the back of his hand over your cheek.

“I’m not like the others,” he whispers.

You’re not sure what to say, you just nod and watch as he steps back and walks away.

---

One month later

---

You’re doing dishes, scrubbing hard against burnt on food that was never soaked or even rinsed. One of them had a date the night before, making a complicated meal.

“How long until you get your girl?” Thor says to Sam as they walk into the kitchen.

“Tony’s working on it, probably a few weeks before I can take her home.”

They each grab oranges and head into the next room. their voices get quieter for a few minutes then louder again as they walk back to throw away their orange peels.

“I’m envious, I often fantasize about finding mine, If only I knew where she was.” Thor says.

“You have no idea where she could be?”

“I must confess, friend, I don’t even know what planet she’s on. She’s a slippery little lady.”

You stop washing dishes for a second, mind trying to dissect what you’re overhearing.

“You ok?” Bucky sets a plate next to the sink.

“Yes sir.” you reply, taking the plate and washing it.

You turn off the sink and turn around, seeing multiple dishes you forgot about. You pick them up and bring them to the sink, restarting the cleaning process.

“I think you should take a vacation.”

You look at him and raise your eyebrows.

“You’re a hard worker, and fast too.”

You nod in agreement.

“You’re… unusual to watch though.”

You set the last clean dish in the drying rack and turn your back to Bucky, taking a step away. You put your hand in your pocket to pull out your phone which holds your to do list but it’s not there. You look to your right and left and then turn back toward Bucky. He holds your phone out to you and you grab it and open your list.

“This is the third time today you’ve misplaced your phone.”

“I appreciate your concern, you’re very observant.” you bite your tongue before you say something aggressively inappropriate to your boss.

“Hey, I don’t want to hurt your feelings. You’re very smart and capable, I just noticed it’s been worse lately and think you should take a break.”

You take a deep breath.

“I’m taking next week off.” you say, grabbing a broom and walking out of the kitchen.

“Good.” Bucky yells after you.

---

Three months later.

---

Your phone rings, waking you up from a deep sleep.

“Hello,” you say sleepily.

“Hey, can you come in ASAP?” Tony says from the other end.

You jump out of bed.

“Of course, I’ll be there soon.”

You quickly get dressed and run out of the apartment. You gasp and drop your bag as soon as the elevator door opens. There’s a huge mess covering the entire living room and kitchen. There’s broken glass and furniture everywhere as well as a hole in the wall. It looks as though there was a fight and you wonder what happened. You get to work right away.

Thankfully a few of the Avengers wives come and help you clean up. Natashas wife evidently is back from a long honeymoon and you’re happy to see her. You smile at her and she frowns back at you.

“Are you ok?”

She looks away. “Just tired.”

You watch her give a tiny flinch as Natasha calls her name from the next room. Something is very wrong.

“You got this cleaned up fast.” Bucky says, taking a dustpan away from you and dumping the contents into the trash.

“I had help.” you say, looking over to where Natasha and her wife stand across the room.

You look back at Bucky and give a sweet smile.

“I was wondering if I could leave a little early on friday. There’s a birthday party for my grandmother.”

“I think you’ve earned leaving a little early after today, you’re welcome to get ready for your party here too. You can use the guest room.”

“Thank you sir.”

“Bucky.”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes.

“Thank you Bucky.”

---

You put on your dress and a full face of makeup, admiring yourself in the mirror before heading out. Bucky stands outside of the guest room door, obviously waiting for you.

“You clean up nice.”

“Thank you.”

Bucky clicks his tongue as he stares at you.

“Did I ever tell you that you remind me of someone I used to know?”

You back away.

“No, you didn’t.”

“I miss her.”

You try your best to take even breaths. The way he looks at you makes you deeply uncomfortable. You feel naked despite your dress being on the conservative side. You make the mistake of looking straight at his crotch, seeing a very visible bulge. You gulp and shift uncomfortably on your feet.

“Have a good time at your party.” Bucky says.

“I will.” you say politely before basically running to the elevator. You get in and realize you forgot your phone. You walk back to the guest room where Bucky waits, holding your phone out for you. You grab it and turn around but bucky catches your arm.

“Focus, do you have everything you need.”

You shift your eyes away and realize you forgot your wallet and keys too.

Bucky grabs your things out of his pocket and hands them to you.  

“Thank you.” you breathe.

Bucky hums and lets you go.

“Be safe,” he yells as you walk back to the elevator, this time taking it down and leaving the tower.

---

Three months later

---

You’re going to quit today. As good as the money is it’s not worth the fear and stress of working there. Not only have you become more and more concerned about the wives of the Avengers but you just can’t take Bucky anymore. You’re scared of him. The way he looks at you makes you feel as though he could decide at any minute to lock you in a room and tear your clothes off. You feel constant stress at work and have developed a tremor. No amount of money is worth this work environment. The lease at your apartment is about to end and you’ll move back with your parents until you find a new job.

You enter the avengers floor and hear yelling.

“Fuck!”

“I thought we were kidnapping women?”

“You weren’t supposed to just snatch one. Now there’s a whole mess to clean up.”

“Thor just took his.”

“He has a point.”

“Thor had that whole betrothal thing.”

“Touche.”

You make eye contact with a scared woman who is sitting on the couch with her hands tied in front of her. She mouths run and you do, running out of the tower and home. You start frantically packing a bag, throwing your phone away since you’re sure they can track it.

“There’s nowhere to hide baby.”

You scream as Bucky pulls you away from your suitcase and throws you on your bed.

“Here’s what’s going to happen.” he touches your face, smoothing his finger over your lip.

“We’re married now, Tony already set it up. I’m going to take you on a honeymoon on an island until I can trust you.”

It clicks in your head, the honeymoons. They always come back so quiet and introverted.

“What did they do to those poor girls?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

Tears start forming in your eyes.

“I won’t tell anyone, just let me go.”

“This is the only way.”

Bucky’s hand travels down your body, grabbing your waistband and pulling your pants off. He puts his hand in between your legs and you squirm away, clenching your legs tight.

“Please baby, I don't want to hurt you but I will if i have to. Now open up”

You shake your head, tears now spilling down your cheeks. He slaps you hard and you clutch your throbbing face, crying out and pushing your body against the headboard. You slowly and shakilly open your legs for him, closing your eyes as he dips a metal finger in your pussy.

“I’m not like the others.”

He thrusts his finger in and out.

“They took those women out of greed. They feel like they deserve love after everything they’ve given up... we’ve given up.”

He reaches his other hand up, still fucking you gently with a metal finger, and grabs your chin, shaking your head gently until you look at him.

“I just want you to be safe and happy.”

Bucky pulls his finger out. He grabs his cock, stroking it as he looks at your naked lower half. You try to close your legs but he grabs them, pulling them open. He kisses your mound gently and you arch your back involuntarily, pushing your pussy into his face. He grabs your legs and holds you against his mouth, suddenly sucking and licking until you’re coming undone. The pleasure washes over you and you relax for a second before your mind is brought back to reality. Your legs shake as He pulls back and smiles at you, climbing over you and pushing his impressive dick in. He kisses you as he thrusts into you, grabbing your shoulders and squeezing them as he comes.

“I’m going to be good for you, this will be good.” he whispers, holding you as you cry in his arms.

---

You’re forgetful. You don’t focus, don’t pay attention. It was right in front of your face and you still missed it. You always miss it. You’ve always been someone who gets themselves into trouble, always making silly mistakes and having to pay for them.

Your shadow did it again, silently destroyed everything around you while you ignorantly looked the wrong way. If you could just pay attention.

If you could just focus.

But you can’t.

[hold-my-hand-kuroo]

hugs + inarizaki

headcanons for the miya twins, ojiro, kita, and suna

a peace offering because i absolutely will not be active for this week and the next uwu ❤️

miya atsumu

Being playful and teasing, Atsumu loves giving you surprise hugs. Whether if it’s behind the back tackles or just picking you up and swinging you around like it’s nothing, nothing gives this man more joy than making you yelp and squeal. 

Hugs with Atsumu are lively and almost never a quiet and boring time. Whenever he comes home from a work-out or practice sweating bullets, he’ll find you and scoop you into his arms all while you’re squealing and protesting. He secretly uses this as an excuse to get you in the bath with him after. 

“You’re getting your sweat all over me-”

“I guess we both have to shower now. Damn, that sucks.”

On the weekends when Atsumu can sleep in, he likes to keep you in bed with him for a painfully long time. He knows you’re awake, and so is he, but nothing makes him happier than clinging onto your middle as you’re squirming to go to the bathroom.

Sometimes when he notices that you’ve had a bad day, his hands will wander to your sides mid-hug, and he’ll tickle you until your giggles fill the room.

He’ll never end the day without a proper cuddle, though. He likes having you in his arms while he’s watching plays or a TV show with you resting your head on his shoulder or chest. Once in a while, he’ll lean down to give you a few kisses on the cheek, but the moment you return the favor, he’s instantly distracted and turns whatever he’s watching off.

miya osamu

He’ll never express it to you directly, but Osamu’s heart flutters every time you hug him from the back while he’s cooking, especially during slow mornings where neither of you are in a rush to go anywhere. Just slip your arms around his waist while he’s scrambling eggs, and you’ve won his entire being over.

He finds it endearing if you don’t let go as he moves around the kitchen, just waddling behind him and trying to follow. Oftentimes, he’ll feel playful about this and tries to move around quickly to see if you can keep up. His soft chuckle gives him away though.

This works in reverse too if you happen to be the one that’s cooking. He’ll  rest his chin on your shoulder to peek at what you’re doing. Humor him by acting confused, so that he’ll reach over and help you. He knows you’re joking, but he’s still more than eager to cook with you, since it’s really the best of two worlds for him.

Unlike his brother, his hugs are very much calm and relaxed. He’s the type to hug just for the sake of hugging and for physical contact rather than teasing you for the most part. When the two of you are in bed together, he likes wrapping his arms around your waist with your back pressed into his chest. There’s something about smelling your hair that’s so calm to him. Plus, it’s easier to whisper into your ear like that.

He knows it’s unhealthy, but Osamu lives for midnight snack sessions with you. There’s something so therapeutic about you feeding him chips in his lap with his arms tightly around your waist. If he he’s having a bad day, this is a sure-fire way to cheer him up.

ojiro aran

Aran’s the type who sees hugs as a type of liberation, but even though he likes giving and receiving them a lot, he’ll always ask for permission first. No matter how long the two of you have been together, he needs the affirmation that you’re comfortable with him touching you before doing anything at all. 

He’s also scared that he might come off as too clingy when he’s hugging you for a while, but if you continue stay in his arms even after his grip has loosened, it makes him feel so warm and appreciative of your affection. 

He’s not the type of person to enjoy messing around given his exasperation whenever either of the Miya twins open their mouths, so cuddling time is soft and peaceful. He’ll ask you about your day always before talking about his own, but he’s not against complete silence either. He likes listening to you breathe, and if you end up falling asleep, he’s over the moon. Seeing that you can become comfortable and relaxed around him to the point of just dozing off is literally his favorite sight.

Despite enjoying peaceful moments, he’s not entirely opposed to banter, especially if you incorporate things you’ve memorized about him into it. For example, if you end up teasing him about how his favorite food is Ritz Crackers, he’s not focused on your teasing but rather the fact that you bothered to remember his favorite food. 

He’s a little bit of a hoarder too, so cuddling sessions are warm and comfy. He has a multitude of blankets and pillows in his home that he should’ve tossed out ages ago, but if you happen to like them, he’ll wash them properly and put them to proper use. He’s comfortable whenever you’re around, but he wants to guarantee that you feel the same way too.

kita shinsuke

Kita is a man of habit and routine; therefore, he’s up at dawn right when the sun rises and back home from work when the sun sets completely. During both these times, he also has a few minutes scheduled in for a ‘good bye’ hug and kiss and a ‘welcome home’ hug and kiss from you. His day doesn’t start until he gets to wrap his arms around you for a brief moment, and his day of work never feels like it has ended until you greet him at the door with your arms open. It’s like clockwork.

He’s always very busy, even during the weekends, but he always keeps a close eye on you to see how you’re holding up. Like Aran, he always asks for permission before hugging you, and during the rare instances where he does have some free time, he likes to indulge a little bit longer in your embrace. 

Kita’s ideal type of date night is cooking a hearty meal with you and then having you sit in his arms outside while enjoying the brisk night air. He likes it when you run your fingers through his hair, but he even likes it more when you let him press soft kisses all over your hand and face. He says he does only does what he has to do, but for you, he’s willing to go the extra miles to keep you happy. He’s very much an overachiever when it comes to your affections and you. 

He’s not really sure why he finds your hugs and hugging you so addictive. Sometimes, under the blazing heat of the sun, he thinks about how it’d be so much better if the two of you were in each other’s arms inside the house even though he’s sweating bullets, and he finds the idea ridiculously amusing. He thinks it might be because of the hugs his grandma gave him as a child and how he always felt safe and content in her arms. He wants to give you the very best, and in his mind, a safe haven where you can smile and relax completely is the best he can offer.

suna rintarou

Like Atsumu, Rintarou’s very much a tease, but he’s sly and more consistent about it. Rather than being energetic about it, Suna’s all about lazy hugs. Whenever it’s late at night, he’ll casually pull you into his arms and bury his head into your neck, and if he isn’t too tired, he’ll breathe the lightest breaths against your ear just to tickle you. 

He enjoys doing the smallest things just to fluster you, so if you feel his hands start to wander very, very slowly, it’s probably him waiting for a reaction from you. He’ll stop and sigh if you don’t give him a reaction, and he’ll probably pout in your arms for a while before thinking of some other way to provoke you.

His signature hug is lazily putting his arms over your shoulders or around your middle with his head resting on the top of your head or on your shoulders. He does this honestly whenever, especially when the two of you are home, and you’re just walking around.

He never expresses it verbally, but this is his way of expressing that he’s feeling a little needy, neglected, or touch-starved. Doing it once or twice briefly is just him trying to make doing laundry a harder time for you, but if he continues to let you drag him around the house, take a quick break to give him kisses. He’ll act as if he never asked for them, but he just likes being spoiled.

That doesn’t mean that he never gives though! He’s a man who empathizes with those who feel exhausted after being annoyed by others, so if you come home all gloomy and depressed, he’ll have you lie down with him either on the couch or on the bed with on arm stroking your head and the other rubbing circles on your back. He’ll proceed to let you vent and will roast whoever gave you a hard time into oblivion. 

[tenthgrove]

Yandere La Squadra- Formaggio, Melone, and Ghiaccio

Warning: It goes without saying that these headcanons are darker than my usual stuff, so if you are uncomfortable with ideas such as abduction and forced relationships, beware I go into them here. Extreme violent abuse and non-con (beyond low-level touching) are not present, however, since I don’t write for these themes.

Formaggio

Formaggio falls for someone he meets by chance, most likely somewhere like a bar, bowling alley or cinema. Regardless, after a couple of random encounters in which he gets to briefly chat with you, Formaggio starts to seek you out on purpose. It isn’t long before he starts to develop a crush.

However, despite Formaggio’s attempts to come off as friendly you soon start to take him for a creep. You begin to consciously avoid him, going as far as to stop going to the places he tends to find you.

After a brief period of feeling spurned, Formaggio comes to realise that his initial hopes for a normal relationship were never very viable anyway. Say you’d accepted his early advances and gone on a few dates? How long until you start to question his friends and work life? No, the only way this is going to work is if he takes the more drastic route and abducts you.

Formaggio gets your living details with the help of those in the squad more suited to that kind of task. He doesn’t tell them why he needs to know all this. After a short period of stalking you in his car to memorise your routine, he forms his plan. He knows convincing you to come with him will be hard, but he doesn’t want to hurt you either. It seems he’ll have to rely on trickery to make you follow him blind.

Late one evening while you’re home alone, Formaggio sets fire to your neighbour’s house. As you run out the front door, panicked and confused, you don’t question the friendly voice promising to drive you to safety. You climb right into Formaggio’s car. By the time it dawns on you what’s really going on a few minutes later, it’s already far too late.

Formaggio eventually wants to have as close to a normal relationship with you as possible, but until you can be trusted not to run from him you’re going to be (loosely) chained to his bed. Look, he fixed his TV and even *cleaned up* for you! Would a shitty boyfriend do all that?

Tries to bribe you into forgiving him with food. Even if you give him the silent treatment, he’ll plonk himself down next to you and throw an arm around your shoulder, occasionally stuffing snacks into your mouth to feel like he’s treating you.

If you misbehave lightly, he’ll make a show of not being bothered by it, thinking his forgiveness will convince you he’s not that bad after all. However, if you’re really uncompliant, Formaggio will shrink you down until you apologise, always showering you with affection once you’ve swallowed your pride and told him what he wants to hear.

Secretly, Formaggio is excited by the possibility of you trying to escape and having to be dragged back. Once or twice, he might ‘accidentally’ leave the key to your chain on the nightstand, letting you have a few blissful hours of freedom before he takes you back. He’ll only punish you lightly, however, since he did set you up for this after all.

All-in-all, Formaggio can’t wait for the day you return his affections, and will woo you over in whatever corny ways he can think of.

 Melone

Melone is the sort of yandere to make the conscious decision to seek out a darling before he even has anyone in mind. With all his eccentric beliefs in astronomy and other personality pseudosciences, it’s only natural Melone would believe his special someone is out there just waiting for him to find them.

After having investigated several dozen candidates who he for one reason or another rejected, he finally lays eyes on you while stalking someone you know. It’s love at first sight, and as he lays in bed at night perusing all your social media profiles, he can’t find a single thing that doesn’t compound his earlier suspicions. He’s finally found you. His soulmate.

You are granted a few blessed final weeks of normalcy before Melone acts. This time is used to set up the room that will accommodate you. It is furnished with a lavish double bed, a large collection of clothes (Melone insists that regularly changing your clothes, even if you aren’t moving around much, will provide a sense of routine that will help with your mental health), a safe filled with various medicines to mediate your mood, and several forms of restraints that are various extents of restrictive, to be switched between depending on your behaviour.

What the room doesn’t have are windows- they’ve been completely bricked up. Your room is also padded wall to wall with sound-absorbent foam. Nothing from the outside world comes in, nothing goes out. Until you love him, your entire life will consist of Melone and this room.

When the time comes to take you, Melone will break into your house and drug you in your sleep, so that you’re completely unaware of what’s happening until you’re safely in your new home. He will sit at your bedside non-stop until you wake up, adamant to be the first thing you see when your new life begins.

The first few months of living with Melone are essentially a covert form of behavioural training. When you are nice to your new boyfriend, your life gets better. When you shun him, you stay at the current level of restrictions on your freedom. It is simple psychology that this will inevitably lead you to accept him more.

If, say, you were to misbehave extremely, such as by consistently trying to run away or physically attack him, then the ultimate punishment would be forcing you to create a junior that then becomes your guard. Although Melone will take every precaution to make sure no harm comes to you from your new child, he knows you will not enjoy the process, or the presence of the freakish being that calls you its parent.

Eventually, once you have a consistent track record of many months of good behaviour, Melone intends to let you live practically as freely as you did when you met him, even letting you leave the house regularly for hours at a time without supervision. However, even when you have no use for the room he initially kept you in and are no longer forced to be there, he won’t get rid of it. He enjoys looking back on those tender first months of having you. You won’t ever make him put you back there, will you?

  Ghiaccio

Ghiaccio holds his affections close to his heart, and for that reason, he will most likely fall in love with a childhood friend, or someone else he has a prior fondness for. Perhaps after a number of years out of contact, you suddenly move into his vicinity without knowing it. Ghiaccio sees you through the window of a café and is instantly struck with all the feelings he repressed from his youth.

In the coming weeks, Ghiaccio is filled with an intense paranoia. He wants to have you, to at very least be able to let you know he’s there, but he’s terrified of you getting hurt. Wait, do his enemies already know about you? That aside, will someone as weak as you *ever* be safe in a city like this? Ghiaccio knows he would never forgive himself if anything happened to you. That means he can’t sit still until he makes sure he does something about it.

Even still, your abduction is an impulse. That’s not to say he didn’t consider the idea before, even going as far as to make some casual preparations like getting new locks for the front door and spare room. However, he never had a concrete plan. All that convinced him to take you was a sleepless night. After several hours of tossing and turning, head filled with terrified thoughts of something bad happening to you, he decided he needed you *now*.

Ghiaccio doesn’t have much of a plan, but being so much stronger than you he doesn’t really need one. He bursts through the door of your house and drags you to his car, frantic explanations of what’s going on doing little to calm your terror. Freezing over your lips and wrists with ice, he puts you in the trunk and drives you home.

Ghiaccio tries his best to be patient and accommodating with you. He lets your room be your private space and doesn’t force physical contact on you, though he’ll occasionally plead with you to let him hold you when he’s feeling stressed. He dreams of the day you’ll stop being scared of him and he can have you whenever he wants.

Spends a lot of time trying to justify his actions. But even if you run away, he can’t bring himself to hurt you. Instead, he’ll bind you to a chair in his basement and rant for what feels like hours about how this is all for your own good, and you just don’t see that. He ends up practically begging for you to just stay with him without a fight.

The process of wooing you over is a lot of trial and error, inviting you to do activities with him he recalls you liking and encouraging you to be emotionally open with him. Eventually, through the sheer force of time, his efforts become successful and you start to reciprocate his affections.

However, given Ghiaccio’s paranoia it’s unlikely you’ll ever be able to go anywhere further than the corner shop without his supervision. It’s not that he doesn’t trust you, he’s just terrified of something happening to you. That said, he feels bad about restricting your freedom and will work hard to give you a good life.

[tumbleweed-palmer]

Wait there was more to that ask

Jimmy, me, awkward supply closet quickie

The Best Kind of Stress Relief

=============

She missed her boyfriend. Y/N knew this would be a totally ridiculous statement if she were to ever say the words out loud. How could she possibly miss him when they literally worked in the same building?

If she wanted to see her boyfriend so badly all she had to do was hop in the elevator, hit the down button, get off in the basement, and make her way on over to Autopsy. She’d find her boyfriend right there assisting Dr. Mallard as usual.

Even if she didn’t have the opportunity to see him during the work day she knew for a fact that they would go home together at the end of the day. Even if one of them worked late they’d still wind up in bed together at some point. They’d wake up together and go into work together unless Jimmy was called away early for a body pickup. They would be together in some form or fashion.

How could she possibly miss someone who she lived and worked with?

It was just this case...this case was eating up so much time. They both had work piled up to their eyeballs and they were so exhausted all the time. These past few weeks they had rarely even been able to share a dinner together that didn’t consist of terrible fast food they ate in the car on the way home. They barely had the energy to share a completely G-rated shower together at night before they collapsed in bed and got whatever few hours of sleep the good lord blessed them with before their alarms woke them up and they were pulled right back into work.

They hadn’t even had time to even have one of their usual lunch breaks together. Jimmy hadn’t been able to sneak away from Autopsy and come upstairs to linger around her desk. He would always sit at the edge of her desk and try his best to ignore Tony’s prodding of “Who let the Autopsy Gremlin out of the basement? Mini-Probie, you know he can’t leave the basement.” She hadn’t been able to make excuses to go down to Autopsy and linger herself trying to pretend that she wasn’t there to see her boyfriend but was there because she was totally interested in Dr. Mallard’s work. Dr. Mallard of course knew she was more interested in making moon-eyes with his assistant, but he’d at least been willing to play along with the story Y/N gave him. Lord knows he’d spent too much time gently encouraging Jimmy to pursue Y/N to get too grouchy that they were finally an item.

Jimmy’s and her lives were so intertwined together that the interruption in their usual routine felt so draining.

Y/N knew what she missed the most about her boyfriend at the moment. She missed the sex. They were so exhausted lately that they had no energy to do anything even remotely sexual.

They’d always shared an active sexlife. They were both overly affectionate people. They saw sex as a wonderful way to bond with one another. Not only did it feel amazing and it was a hell of a lot of fun, it was also something incredibly intimate. They saw it as a chance to be as close as two human beings could possibly be. They both understood that sex was an extraordinarly intimate action after all it involved being in such a vulnerable position with one another.

Their sexlife was amazing. It was passionate and filled with laughter and such intimacy.

He was the first guy she’d ever slept with where sex didn’t feel like such a chore. With Jimmy sex felt so fun and so loving. She felt so close to him when they made love. She didn’t feel exposed or as though she had to perform to stroke his ego. Sex felt the way it should with Jimmy. It felt like a wonderful way to show one another that they loved the other.

Jimmy Palmer was the most incredible man Y/N had ever dated. To say that she was absolutely devoted to him would be a vast understatement.

She could still remember how they’d even gotten together in the first place. Jimmy had been there for her when she’d felt so low. He’d somehow made everything seem okay.

She’d been recruited as the new probationary agent that would be working with Gibbs’ team.

She was terrified. She’d heard horror stories about Leroy Jethro Gibbs. The other probationary agents whispered about how tough he was. She’d only witnessed him from afar. He seemed so intense. She’d heard stories about how Gibbs hit his agents on the back of the head as a wake up call. She’d heard about how he had a million rules for his agents to follow, but he never told you the rules. He just expected you to learn them on your own and never forget them. She’d heard how he barked orders and expected results. He didn’t accept excuses or apologies. He would do anything to solve a case and he expected his team to follow suit. He was a tough cookie. He was a marine through and through.

Y/N was crapping herself at the thought of working under him.Part of her was excited. She’d hoped that this would be her chance to prove herself. Surely if she worked hard then everyone would see that she could make an amazing NCIS field agent. Surely this was her chance. Still though it had been so terrifying. She’d been overwhelmed with the feeling that she was in over her head.

She had tried her best to keep a tough exterior and to take whatever challenges Gibbs had thrown her way. On the outside it had looked as though she was excelling at every challenge thrown her direction. She kept determined. She held her head up high and tried to show how motivated she was to learn. She tried to give them the impression that she was strong. She tried to remind herself that she had worked too damn hard to get here. She worked way too hard to let Gibbs or anyone intimidate her from becoming a field agent. She tried to look to Ziva for inspiration. Ziva was so strong. She was such a strong agent who didn’t put up with anyone's crap. Y/N wished she could be more like Ziva.

On the inside though she felt like she was drowning. She felt so in over her head. It felt as though she was failing. She had to fear that she wasn’t strong enough for this. She wasn’t capable of this, a voice in the back of her brain insisted. She was so inferior and eventually everyone would see it.

She tried not to get too discouraged but it weighed on her so heavily.

Tony hadn’t made it easy. He had bestowed her with the nickname Mini-Probie. No matter how many times she asked him to call her by her name he still insisted she was “Mini-Probie.” or worse “Probie Jr.”

Later on of course she’d realize that Tony only bestowed the nicknames on her as a sign of affection. Tony tormented those he cared for.

At the time though it had felt so demoralizing.

Tony had thrown the worst jobs at her: Crawling through mud and dumpsters searching for evidence. Going into lakes and down hills. Going into the thickest woods to retrieve evidence. Carrying all the equipment. Gathering evidence off the floor on her hands and knees. Dusting massive surfaces for fingerprints all by herself. If there was a pet at a crime scene Y/N was handed a pet carrier and told to retrieve it. If there was a piece of evidence in some other god awful location Y/N was told to grab it and bag it.

He shoved the jobs no one wanted on her. It was the only way she’d learn he’d insisted. He was making her a better agent. He was a senior agent and he knew what she needed to do in order to learn.

McGee had tried to offer her reassurance though it was clear he was thankful that she was now the one stuck with the jobs he’d always been forced to take. Sure Tony might still call McGee “Probie.” but Y/N was clearly another victim and Tony seemed to take just as much pleasure at tormenting Y/N as he took in tormenting McGee. Misery did love company.

Y/N was close to cracking under the pressure.

She’d been once again tasked with yet another gross job that nobody else wanted. She’d found herself in a dumpster behind a seafood market searching for a gun that had possibly been tossed. She’d been left alone with the task combing through slimy fish parts trying not to puke. She smelled like rotten fish and all she wanted to do was crawl home and hide in her bed after she scrubbed her skin clean of the rotten stench.

Dr. Mallard had been so kind to her, offering her a chance to use the hazmat showers insisting that he was a true gentleman and wouldn’t stand for a lady being forced to drive home covered in fish guts.

She’d tried her best not to cry when he’d given her a gentle pat on the arm not cringing at the sticky remnants of fish parts crusted to her shoulder. “You’re doing well my dear. You took great initiative to retrieve that gun. That gun is a crucial piece of evidence. I’m sure Jethro will appreciate your determination. Take as long as you need to shower in the hazmat shower. There’s soap to use, it isn’t the nicest, but it will do in a pinch. There are a spare pair of scrubs in stock in Autopsy. I’m sure you can wear them home, though they might be a little large.”

She’d managed to work out a “Thank you Dr. Mallard.” trying to resist the urge to hug him. He had been so kind to her from the start. He made her think of her grandfather to be honest. Her grandfather was a lot like him; filled with stories. Her grandfather had quite the analytical mind as well. He’d actually had hope that she might go into the sciences like him, but Y/N had her heart set on this. Perhaps she would have been better off if she’d followed her grandfather’s dreams for her?

She’d showered so long scrubbing her skin so much it’d turned red and getting the water as hot as he could possibly stand. She didn’t care that the bar soap had made her skin a little dry.. Ziva had been kind enough to offer her some shampoo and conditioner gently giving her a tip to always keep some travel size soaps and shampoos in her desk. You never knew when you might need it Ziva had insisted. Y/N had scrubbed herself until she no longer smelled like rotten fish.

She’d found the blue scrubs without any problems relieved that they weren’t too large for her smaller frame.

When it was all said and done Y/N felt clean but still so defeated.

She took a deep breath trying to soothe herself and regather her confidence. She just had to get a hold of herself and remind herself of why she was here. She wanted to become a field agent; not a probationary agent. She wanted to become a real field agent. She worked so hard to get hired. She had to keep her chin up and keep going. Someday all of these terrible experiences would be worth it.

She’d found herself sitting in Autopsy at Dr. Mallard’s desk taking deep breaths trying not to cry. She refused to cry. She was a grown woman. She wasn’t going to cry.

She wasn’t sure why she remained sitting in Autopsy. There was something about the silence of the room. It was so quiet. It was the one place where she knew she might have a chance at being alone to gather her thoughts.

She’d barely noticed Jimmy Palmer enter the room, the man looking just as surprised to see her as she was to see him.

He felt his heart sink as he noticed how absolutely heartbroken she looked. Her face was downturned she looked up at him revealing that she was clearly trying not to cry. It broke his heart.

She was far too lovely to look so broken. She was so wonderful inside and out. She didn’t deserve to look so upset.

He’d definitely noticed the new probationary agent. She was an attractive young woman so of course he’d noticed her. To be honest he’d noticed how rough Tony seemed to be treating her. Jimmy could admit he’d had to bite his tongue on occasion when he witnessed Tony take it just a little too far.

He felt like a coward for not saying something. Y/N seemed to be the type of woman who’d probably see any attempt Jimmy made to say something to Tony as Jimmy suggesting that Y/N wasn’t capable of handling her job. She’d see it as a patronizing action and not an act of kindness or care.

Jimmy could admit he’d found several things to adore about Y/N/ He enjoyed her presence at crime scenes and around NCIS. Anytime she was the one who got to come down to Autopsy he felt his heart lift at the sight of her and he’d maybe tried to make more jokes then, hoping to work a smile out of her.

He adored her entire attitude on the job. She seemed so determined. He guessed he related to her in that sense, he was a student too after all. He studied under Dr. Mallard in hopes of becoming a full blown medical examiner instead of just an assistant and Y/N studied under the NCIS team hoping to become a field agent and not just a probationary agent. He respected her determination to go after what she wanted.

He liked how eager she seemed to please everyone. She was clearly a hard worker. He’d always found those values admirable and relatable.

It wasn’t just her sense of motivation that Jimmy liked though. He liked everything about her. She was as pretty as she was sweet. He liked the hint of perfume she wore. It was a soft floral scent he occasionally caught when she was near. It smelled like lilies. He liked her smile the few times he’d spotted it. He liked her laugh the few times he’d been lucky enough to hear it. He liked how soft spoken she seemed. He could admit he worried about how soft spoken she seemed. He knew the life of a field agent was difficult and dangerous. He had to hope someone who seemed to be as sweet and as gentle as her wouldn’t be harmed on the job.

He would be lying if he tried to claim that he maybe hadn’t developed a massive crush on Y/N. There was no chance of him not liking her as much as he did.

He knew it was useless though. She was a perfect ten and Jimmy was sure he was probably not anywhere close to being a perfect ten. He knew what people saw when they looked at him. People found him strange especially when they found out just what his career goals were. They saw him as being a geek who slouched too much and always said the wrong thing at the wrong time. They found him awkward and they found his sense of humor to be off putting. Sure he’d started hitting the gym and trying to have a bit more pride in his appearance, but he was very sure that women who looked like Y/N didn’t go for guys who looked like Jimmy.

Y/N spoke her voice cracking, praying Jimmy couldn’t see the tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “I should go, I-I...Dr. Mallard told me I could borrow some scrubs because my clothing was all fish gutty. It’s late so I should go. Tell Dr. Mallard I said thanks again, since you’ll probably see him before me. Have a good weekend Jimmy.”

Jimmy felt the words leave him unable to stand it any longer. He’d kept his lips sealed long enough. “Are you okay?”

She took a deep breath trying to hold it together. “I’m fine Jimmy. It’s just been a long day.”

Jimmy replied not willing to let it go. “You don’t seem fine.”

Y/N felt the tears fall then she unable to stop herself. Jimmy had always been so sweet to her. He was so polite and he tried to keep so positive. He was the one bright spot she knew she could count on at a crime scene. No matter how awful a crime scene was she knew that at least Jimmy would be there. He was always so cheerful. She didn’t understand how someone worked with the dead and saw just how much violence people were capable of could be so positive.

She spoke frantically wiping her eyes trying to pretend that she didn’t feel as awful as she so clearly felt. “It’s so stupid. It’s nothing to worry about.”

“It’s not stupid. I’m sure it isn’t stupid if it’s making you this sad. Of course I’m going to worry...I mean I know we haven’t known each other for very long, but I’d like to think that I’m still allowed to worry when I see you looking so down.” Jimmy insisted taking her by surprise as he made his way over to her.

He pulled out a chair at the desk motioning for her to sit, taking a seat in the other desk chair.

Y/N gave in telling herself it would make her feel better. It would make her feel better to have a friendly ear to vent to. She forced the words to fall from her as Jimmy frantically searched for a tissue, finally finding one and handing it over to her. “I just, I feel so overwhelmed.”

“You’re doing great though Y/N. I’ve seen you at crime scenes. You’ve been working really hard.” Jimmy replied so fast to reassure her.

“I’ve been faking it. I’ve been trying so hard but I’m so tired. I’ve worked so hard to get here. I’ve studied so hard and worked so hard. It’s all I’ve wanted for so long. I just, I’m in over my head.” She admitted the words spilling from her, feeling so good to get it all out.

She let out a heavy sigh shaking her head wiping her tears as she spoke. “Maybe I’m not made for this...Maybe I’m just not good enough.”

She was surprised by how fast Jimmy spoke in response. “That isn’t true. I know it’s been hard, but you said it yourself. You’ve wanted this for so long. You’ve worked really hard for this. You cannot stop now, not when you’ve worked so hard to get here. I know things may seem really rough right now, but I’m sure that things will get better. You’re doing really great. I mean Gibbs barely yells at you...and I don’t think he’s ever hit the back of your head, or I haven’t seen him do it.”

Y/N managed to laugh at this though it came out a little weepy. “He hasn’t...he has yelled, but he yells more at Tony than anyone.”

She let out a soft sigh, her tears managing to dry up a little she wringing the tissue she was holding in her hands. “Thanks Jimmy...today has just been the worst. I literally spent all afternoon in a dumpster searching for a gun. It was at a seafood market and Tony decided that I was the lucky one who got to dig through it. It was disgusting. I don’t think I ever want to eat seafood ever again... How long do you think he’s going to stick me with Probie duties?.”

“Probably until a new Probie comes along.” Jimmy replied, giving her an apologetic smile.

Much to his relief the comment didn’t make her feel worse, letting out a laugh that sounded a little less weepy. “On the bright side at least Dr. Mallard let me borrow the hazmat shower, which explains the scrubs.”

Jimmy felt the words leave him before he had a chance to stop himself. “If its any consolation, you look good in the scrubs.”

He paused his cheeks flushing more words spilling from him he stumbling a bit over his statement. “I mean, not that you don’t always look good...because you always look really good, I mean you always look really beautiful. You are beautiful... It’s just, uh you look nice in blue and uh...you l-look...you look good for someone who spent the afternoon in a dumpster filled with rotten fish parts.”

A little voice in the back of his brain told him he’d fucked everything up. She probably thought he was a total moron.

He widened his eyes surprised as she spoke her voice just as filled with shock. “You think I’m beautiful?”

Jimmy felt the words leave him he unable to deny it. He took a deep breath taking a chance. “Yes, always.”

It was her turn to feel her cheeks flush the words leaving her so soft he almost didn’t hear them “Thank you.”

He took another deep breath taking another chance. It was now or never. The worst thing she could do was tell him no. “Would you...uh, do you have any plans tonight?”

Y/N spoke a small shy smile crossing her lips. “No, I mean...I don’t have any plans unless Gibbs calls me in to work.”

Jimmy nodded his head working up the courage to ask. “Would you like to get dinner with me tonight? As in a date? I promise no seafood.”

The laugh that left her scared him for a moment. Was she laughing at him? Did she think the idea of him asking her out was so ridiculous that it had reduced her to laughter.

His doubts died as she spoke nodding her head the words leaving her. “I’d like that...would you be okay with me stopping by my place so I can change...I imagine you aren’t planning on going to dinner in your scrubs so I should probably ditch these.”

Jimmy was tempted to tell her he’d eat dinner with her no matter what she wore but he only managed to nod his head frantically the words spilling from him. “Of course, that’d be okay...I can just, uh I can follow you to your place and then we can leave for dinner in my car...if that’s okay with you?”

“Yes, that sounds great.” She insisted, standing up from her chair.

She hesitated for a moment, taking a chance as she leaned down, taking Jimmy by shock as her lips pressed to his cheek. She spoke her own cheeks flushing just as dark as his. “Just let me go get my purse and I’ll be ready to go.”

That dinner date had been the start of something wonderful. It hadn’t taken them long to become official. It had only taken a couple of dates before Jimmy had worked up the nerve to ask her to be his girlfriend.

They hadn’t looked back after that.

Things at work were still hard at times. Y/N still felt defeated at times. She still felt overwhelmed more often than she’d like to admit. Jimmy made it easier though. He made things seem so much brighter.

They’d been together for a little over two years now and they’d learned to lean on one another through the changes they’d endured at work and the stress and danger of their careers.

She was sure that she loved him more than she’d ever loved anyone. That was why this was driving her insane.

To be frank she was horny and stressed and exhausted. It was a deadly combination. She missed her boyfriend. She needed him so badly she wanted to cry.

As hard as she tried to focus on the case and her job any time she had a moment of silence her mind drifted back to the last time Jimmy and she’d had sex. It had been after a night out at a local bar with everyone at work. They hadn’t stayed long, they both making an excuse to leave early. The second they’d gotten home they’d barely made it to the bedroom. She kept thinking about all the filthy things Jimmy had moaned against her ear while he was grinding against her. He talked so much as it was and that trait didn’t go away when he was inside of her. He surprisingly had a filthy mouth when he got lost in pleasure. It was kind of amusing sweet gentle Jimmy who wouldn’t even watch an R rated film would moan in her ear about tight she was and how hard he wanted to fuck her.

Remembering all these little details wasn’t helping her ignore the desire coursing through her.

She finally decided she’d had enough. She knew it was a risky move but she needed to do this. It was either do this or attempt to take a cold shower in the hazmat showers.

It had been surprisingly easy. She knew her boyfriend’s routine after all. Even in a time like this when things were so hectic she knew that everyday around 3 Jimmy would go grab a cup of coffee and a snack. He cut his lunch break a little short just so he could have the time to step away to do this.

Jimmy hadn’t expected the arms to reach out from the supply closet yanking him by his scrub top into the closet.

He widened his eyes his heart still racing even as he realized exactly what was going on. Her lips pressed to his he eagerly returning the kiss but only for a brief moment he pulling from her the words spilling from him. “What’s going on?”

She pressed her lips down his jawline the words leaving her. “I’ve missed you so much.”

He chuckled at the action and her words. “You just saw me this morning.”

She continued to press kissed along his jawline working her way down his neck nipping his skin pulling a soft moan from his lips.

She spoke her words muffled against his neck. “I know, I just love you so much. I’ve missed you so much baby.”

She continued to suck and nip at his neck knowing she would definitely leave a mark behind in her wake. Jimmy couldn’t stop the soft moans from leaving him finding it so easy to sink into her affections his body easily reacting remembering just how badly he’d missed this.

She ran her hand down his body between them knowing her destination as she continued to work her lips against his pulse point.

He felt a surprised squeak leave him as she placed her hand over his crotch gently massaging him causing his cock to slowly begin to harden his body definitely remembering just how badly he’d missed her.

He pulled from her speaking frantically. “What, what are y-you doing?”

She gave him a flirty smile staring up at him clearly able to see how dark his eyes had gone with lust. “What do you think I’m doing? You’re a smart guy, I think you know.”

He felt his cheeks flush realizing her hand hadn’t left his crotch. He managed to speak his voice still a little frantic. “I uh-he-here? I mean r-right now? Here?”

“Yes, here.” She replied her lips pressing to his jawline again.

He sighed closing his eyes fighting the urge to sink into this his fears still running through the back of his mind. “What if s-someone walks in or hears us?”

She giggled fast to reply her lips still pressing along his jawline. “No one will walk in and no one will hear us as long as you’re quiet.”

She pulled back her voice taking a serious tone realizing he seemed pretty tense. “If you aren’t okay with it then It’s fine Jimmy. You can say no and I won’t be upset.”

Jimmy quickly debated his choices in his head. He could promise her that they would pick this back up at home. He could wait it out until his body no longer showed how excited he was. Then he could walk back to Autopsy and pretend nothing had happened.

Or he could give in to what his body was screaming it wanted. She’d told him she missed him, and he’d missed her. He’d missed her so much it was driving him insane.

Of course he might die from embarrassment if anyone walked in on this or even overheard them.

He loved her so much though. He wanted her so much. He wanted this so much.

He took a deep breath, his lips pressing to hers before he pulled back speaking. “We have to be quick and you have to be quiet.”

“I’m not the one we have to worry about. You’re the loud one.” She remarked her lips finding his.

He pushed her against the wall, his hand so easily roaming her body as he spoke. “That’s funny coming from someone who moaned my name so loud one time that the neighbors complained the next day.”

“That’s because the walls in your old apartment were paper thin.” She insisted a soft moan leaving her as he began to work the buttons of her shirt open sliding it from her body.

He groaned as he pulled the shirt from her his eyes locking down at the pink lace covering her breasts. “Fair enough.”

She giggled knowing him well enough to know that she always had a chance of winning any disagreement when he spotted her breasts.

He wasted no time to work his lips along her neck nipping and sucking as he worked his way down her shoulder pulling more giggles and soft moans from her. He pressed his lips against her cleavage nipping and sucking, unable to stop himself from grinding against her.

He ran his hands up her back easily finding her bra clasp and working it open pulling it from her body. He moaned as her breasts were revealed to him, wasting no time to lock his mouth over her breast suckling.

She whined her fingers running through his hair messing it as he worked her breast easily working it before moving to her other breast giving it the same treatment.

He only pulled back as she pulled his scrub top up pulling it and the white undershirt he wore up and over his head tossing it on the floor. He moaned as she pressed her lips to his chest, nipping sure she would leave a mark there too.

He whined as she worked her way down his body, dropping to her knees. He groaned as she stared up at him, unable to stop his hand from pressing to her cheek as she leaned against his touch. She spoke, her voice teasing. “I thought you said we had to make this quick.”

He nodded his head, the words spilling from him. “I know. I just love you so much.”

She spoke, her fingers sliding under the waistband of his scrub bottom and boxers. “And I love you.”

He groaned as she pulled his pants and boxers down, allowing them to rest around his ankles, the sight probably looking ridiculous but he was a little too distracted by the moan that left her lips to worry about that.

She spoke, her lips pressing along his shaft, her breath warm against him. “Is this for me?”

“Always, always for you.” He moaned his head falling back as he continued to press kisses along his shaft her hand resting against his balls massaging them

He groaned as he locked her lips around him, bobbing her head enthusiastically. He groaned his eyes practically crossing his knees already growing wobbly. God, he’d missed this. He’d missed this so much more than he realized.

She worked his cock he putting his hand over his mouth trying to stifle his moans. She pulled back a giggle leaving her, her hand wrapping around him and stroking. “Yeah, you’re real quiet.”

He giggled against his palm, his hips rocking against her touch.

She placed her lips back around him pulling her hand back to bob her head once again more moans leaving him muffling against his palm.

He stared down at her, his hips continuing to rock, unable to believe how perfect she really was. She was so amazing. She was all his. Somehow he’d managed to win her heart. He was the only one who got to do this with her. If he had his way she would be the only one he did this with for the rest of his life.

He groaned, finding it so hard to muffle his noises. She was right, he was the loud one.

He grunted knowing that if she kept this up at this rate he was going to cum. It was almost pathetic really. In his defense it had been so long since they’d had a chance to do this and he’d been so stressed lately. He was sure any kind of stimulation from her no matter how brief it was might cause him to burst.

He pulled back from her his cock bobbing a groan leaving him as he pulled his hand from his mouth. “I need you, I need you so fucking bad.”

She stood up from the floor kicking her shoes off and unfastening her pants sliding them down her body along with her panties.

He groaned searching the room trying to decide how he wanted to go about this.

He sighed knowing his knees still felt pretty wobbly. He was so desperate he didn’t trust himself to stay upright at the moment. Besides, he didn’t think pushing her against the wall so close to a shelf was a good plan. He could already imagine the risk of pulling down a shelf.

He quickly made his choice telling himself that even if the floor might not be the cleanest it was the best option.

He sat down resting against the wall motioning to her. “Here, ride me.”

She giggled making her way over to him a deep groan leaving him as he watched her. There was something so intoxicating about the sight of her standing over him like this nude and wanting him.

He groaned knowing he might have a bit of a submissive side to him. Though he guessed that was pretty obvious given his overeagerness to please her. He’d do anything for her, he’d give her anything. All she had to do was say the word and he’d give her anything. He was always so desperate for her, so desperate to make her feel good. He was always so desperate to make her happy. He was always in such awe that she wanted him. She could have anyone and she’d chosen him.

He ran his hands along her thighs as she approached him, a groan leaving him his eyes locking down at her center. “If I had more time I’d eat you out right now, fuck. This case better be over soon or I’m gonna find whoever killed that petty officer and kill him myself.”

She giggled at this comment, shaking her head. He was the only guy she’d ever dated who seemed to love going down on her. She’d definitely noticed just how much he enjoyed pleasing her. Of course she was always willing to make sure she pleased him in return. She had to find it downright awe inspiring just how much he adored pleasing her though.

She lowered down straddling his lap not allowing him to enter her just yet his lips pressing to hers. She reluctantly pulled her lips from his reaching forward and pulling his glasses from him.

She spoke, giving him a gentle smile as she set his glasses down on top of her pile of clothing. “I don’t want anything to happen to them.”

He gave her a lovesick smile not helping but to adore how she always looked out for him even in the tiniest ways. He groaned as she pressed her lips back to his.

He reached down between them grasping his cock sliding it along her she so wet he wanted to cry. He had a feeling he might not last as long as he was hoping. He knew it was going to take some serious effort on his half to hold back.

He grunted his moan muffled against her lips as she lowered herself over him, taking him slowly down to the hilt. He groaned she so tight and wet and so hot. He grasped onto her hips squeezing so tight he had a feeling he’d leave bruises behind.

She gasped, the feeling of him inside of her always a little overwhelming. He filled her so perfectly and in this position he hit at such a different angle. She had to adore how close she felt to him at this angle. This was exactly what she needed to feel so close to him.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, taking her time slowly rocking over him moans intermingling between their kisses.

He kept a tight grip on her hips encouraging her movements. She felt so good. He couldn’t stop himself from voicing it he speaking against her lips. “Fuck, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed your pussy so much.”

She giggled shuddering against him, unable to deny how much she loved a little dirty talk. There was something so flattering about knowing that sweet polite Jimmy Palmer could say such filthy things. She knew she was the only one who got to see this side of him. It was a side of him that was reserved for her and her only.

She spoke trying to keep her voice down, finding it so hard not to moan as loud as she wanted to when he felt so amazing. “Feels so good Jimmy. Missed you, missed this so bad. You always feel so good.”

He groaned, pressing his lips to hers doing his best to rock up against her as she continued to ride him. This position was hell given the fact that the floor was freezing and hard, but he found it hard to complain too much when she felt so amazing.

He pressed his lips to her neck, his voice muffled against her neck. “I love you, I love you so much sweet girl. My sweet girl, so good for me.”

She whined burying her face against his neck she riding him enthusiastically, his hands still squeezing her hips so tight. She managed to speak the words muffled against his skin. “I love you Jimmy. God, I love you so much.”

They continued like this, their moans muffled against one another’s skin, she rocking against him finding the perfect rhythm, Jimmy doing his best to encourage her movements.

She couldn’t believe this was happening. If anyone had told her way back when she’d been hired on as a probationary agent that she’d one day find herself riding the medical examiner’s assistant in a supply closet she would have never believed it.

Then again she also never would have believed that when she’d walked into Autopsy the first time that she’d be meeting the love of her life. She had to wonder that if she knew back then what she knew now if it would have made those first few months at NCIS any easier.

She whined against him, feeling so amazing. She spoke against his neck “Such a good boy Jimmy. So fucking good.”

He grunted shuddering against her, her words making him throb. Oh yeah he definitely had a kink for pleasing her.

This entire experience was actually more than a bit of a kink for him. He couldn’t help but to get off on the idea that anyone could walk in on this. Anyone could hear this. Anyone could hear just how much he was pleasing her. The thought filled him with such a sense of pride.

Of course realistically he knew he’d die of shame if anyone ever walked in on this or heard it, but for some reason the risk of being caught or overheard turned him on so much.

She slid a hand down between them, her fingers sliding along her clit rubbing it helping herself feel all the more amazing.

Jimmy groaned gazing down between them, his voice sounding out in a hushed whisper. “That’s my girl, fuck yes.”

She whined her head falling back, she biting her bottom lip to hush her moans. He stared up at her still so in awe of her. He had to wonder how he’d gotten so lucky.

He pressed his lips against her breasts suckling them as she rode him, her fingers continuing to rub her clit in a circular pattern.

They continued like this, both knowing this would be over quicker than they’d hoped. This had been just what they needed though. This was always their preferred method to cope with stress. Anytime things at work got to be too much they knew they could find pleasure in one another. Of course usually they were able to wait until they got home, or at least got to the backseat of his car in the parking garage.

They were amazed at their ability to find comfort in one another. They both knew that no matter what happened they had one another. When a case went well they could celebrate the success with one another. When a case went wrong they knew they could find comfort in one another.

When one of them had a terrible day they both knew that they could lie in one another's arms pressed skin to skin together. They didn’t even have to do anything more than hold one another and it would be enough.

She was sure she’d never found more comfort with anyone than she’d found with Jimmy. He was quite sure he felt the same.

There was a reason he’d begun looking at engagement rings secretly on an incognito tab on his laptop anytime he had a chance to do so without anyone seeing it and figuring out the plans dancing around in the back of his mind.

He knew that one day hopefully soon if he was lucky enough he would make her his wife. He would have the rest of his life with her. Growing old with her sounded perfect.

She spoke, her voice rising a little bit more than she meant the words falling from her. “Jimmy fuck, you’re so good baby. I’m so close.”

He pulled from her breasts placing a hand at the back of her head pulling her down muffling her moans with his lips. He spoke giggling against her lips. “Sssh not too loud baby.”

He pressed his lips back to hers as she continued to rub her clit, she continuing to rock over him losing rhythm the longer she moved. He gripped down onto her hips helping encourage her movements as she got closer and closer to the edge.

She whined her back arching, shaking against him as she reached her end. She moaned against his kisses muffling the noise. She quivered against him her nails digging into his back as she came her center contracting around him.

He grunted the sensation of her squeezing him so tight making his cock ache.

He allowed her to rock against him she shaking as she worked her way though her orgasm.

She gasped as she came down from her high she so sensitive.

She resisted the urge to pull back from him the feeling so intense. She wanted him to cum. She needed him to feel so good.

She pulled from his lips moaning against his ear her voice so soft and so needy saying just the thing to get him there. “Please Jimmy. Come on baby. Cum for me my good sweet man, let go for me.”

He grunted his fingertips digging into her skin knowing he would have to rub lotion against her hips tonight. Her skin would be sporting so many bruises after this.

He felt his end hit him hard he shaking his face burying against her neck muffling his moans of her name. He came hard spilling into her, she rocking against him working her pelvic floor muscles trying to milk his release. He whined as he felt the last of his release spill from him he knowing they were making a mess. He would have to find some tissues or something to clean them.

She remained ontop of him even as he began to soften his grip on her so tight he refusing to allow her to pull from him.

He spoke his voice low and raspy a drowsy laugh leaving him. “I’m going to find whoever inserted your IUD and thank them.”

She giggled her nose scrunching at the comment his cheeks flushing from more than the orgasm he was recovering from. He spoke another laugh leaving him. “Sorry, I know gross.”

She shook her head smoothing back his messy hair as she spoke her voice low. “It does beat the hell out of dealing with condoms.”

He pressed his lips to hers so thankful that she always had a way of making him feel less like an awkward idiot.

They widened their eyes as they heard an exasperated voice out in the hallway. “Has anyone seen Mini-Probie?”

Y/N muffled her laughter against Jimmy’s shoulder as an unfamiliar voice replied. “Who?”

“You know, Agent Y/L/N?” Tony sounded out still sounding so fed up.

They were thankful as his voice faded off, Tony clearly moving away from the supply closet.

Jimmy pressed his lips to hers his hands pressing to her cheeks he holding her against him even as they pulled from the kiss. “We should probably get back out there.”

She pressed one more kiss to his lips as she spoke. “I love you.”

“And I love you. You can drag me into a supply closet anytime you want.” He replied trying not to sound so eager.

She chuckled shaking her head as she moved up and off of him trying not to cringe at she mess they’d made. “You better not make that offer. I’ll keep taking you up on it.”

He smiled up at her, that lovesick smile once again returning to his lips. He had a feeling he wouldn’t have any problems with that.

“It doesn’t even have to be a supply closet. We could try a few other locations. I’m pretty sure I could find so many places for us to find some privacy around NCIS.” He exclaimed, causing her to giggle, he absolutely loving the sound.

It was such a world away from the sorrow filled girl he’d comforted in Autopsy a little over two years ago.

God, he loved her.

He had to hope she’d take him up on his offer. He wasn’t lying, she could pull him into the supply closet anytime she wanted.

[adenei]

Ch. 2 How to Win a Witch in 10 Days

AO3 | FFN

James rolls out of bed after the third snooze of his alarm clock. He knows exactly how long he can wait until he has to get out of bed so he won’t be late for work. Sometimes he misses living with Sirius and Remus, who used to help make sure he was up and at ‘em on time.

Stretching, James releases a groan as he goes to the bathroom and turns the water on for a shower. At least I’m not competing for hot water anymore. He steps into the scalding hot spray. He’s barely been living on his own for a month, and has to admit the perks certainly outweigh the drawbacks. Besides, they still work together for Alastor’s Ads, so it’s not like they never see each other.

After a quick lather and rinse, James steps out and towels off. He figures he has a good ten minutes to floo to the office. He’s pulling clothes out of his closet when Remus’s Patronus bursts through the window.

Get to the office. Now.

“Well, that doesn’t sound foreboding or anything,” he mutters to himself.

He quickly dresses and grabs his bag before heading to the fireplace. He’ll have to take a mid-morning break to get a bite to eat since the wolf interrupted his usual routine. Tossing the powder into the hearth, he steps in and transports himself to the office.

Sirius and Remus are waiting for him when he arrives, with looks of concern donning their faces.

“What’s got your wands in a twist this morning?” James assumes it’s not dire, and that Remus only sent the Patronus as a stern reminder for timeliness.

“It’s the Zabini Jewels pitch,” Sirius responds.

The name raises the hairs on the back of James’s neck.

“What about it?” he plays it cool.

The three men begin walking to James’s office, where Remus shuts the door after they all pile in.

“Well, the good news is that Moody liked your pitch,” Remus states, clearly easing James in as he begins.

Alastor Moody is the owner of Alastor’s Ads. After a mission with the Aurors put him out of commission, Moody opened an advertising business to do something with his settlement claim. He knew how corrupt the advertising business can be, so he set out to make the industry a little more honest, consequently weeding out the shadier businesses in the process. In the ten years since the company opened, it’s risen to the top spot of marketing in Magical England.

James’s position typically consists of wooing clients from magical games and sports and the food and spirits industry, but he’s recently begun dabbling in businesses outside his forte. Zabini’s is an up and coming jewelry shop with a lot of money backing its name. James submitted the proposal to Moody earlier that week, hoping to hear whether he would be the one to move forward with the pitch.

“Why do I sense there’s a but…” James trails off.

“Well…” Remus grimaces.

“Oh, come off it! If you’re not going to tell him, then I will!” Sirius interjects. “Moody’s given the pitch to my cousins!”

“No!” James bangs his fist on his desk, causing some of the hot young interns who are standing by the water cooler to jump and turn around.

James relaxes enough to flash a charming smile their way as he turns back to his best friends. “That was my proposal! I should be the one who meets with Zabini!”

“We know. But Moody said something about women ‘knowing and understanding’ the business more,” Remus attempts to calm James.

“That’s bullshit! Maybe they’re the ones who receive the jewelry, but blokes are the ones who buy it!”

“I know, mate.” Sirius throws his hands in the air, indicating he’s not the one James needs to argue with.

James is pissed. He’s worked too hard on this proposal for Moody to give the pitch to someone else. I’m not going down without a fight.

“Where are they?”

“They already left for a meeting at Witch Weekly.”

“Well, when are they meeting with Moody?”

“At Abbott's tonight,” Sirius answers automatically. Remus shoots him a look.

“What are you thinking?” he asks.

James looks down at his desk. Memos are piling up from existing clients, but he can’t be arsed to worry about those right now. He needs to sign Zabini. It will be the breakthrough he needs to stand on his own in the business, and a way to finally prove to himself that he doesn't need to rely on his parent’s wealth.

A look of determination crosses his face. “I’m going to crash their meeting and sell my pitch.”

Sirius holds up his hand for a high five as Remus winces. “I’m not sure if that’s a good idea, James.”

“Yeah, well, I’m not going down without a fight.”

James sits at a small cocktail table, sipping on a firewhisky at Abbott’s, a swanky magical speakeasy tucked away in the heart of Muggle London. The walls are painted an elegant navy blue that stands in stark contrast with the white marble floor, giving off an air of class and wealth that James has always refused to engage in. Gold trim lines the backlit shelves that house bottles upon bottles of expensive alcohol for the bar’s many eager patrons.

Business starts to pick up as the night drones on, and James can’t help but notice how many beautiful women are out on this fine Thursday night. If he didn’t have a pitch to snag, he might be on the prowl, looking for a good time. But he’s already limiting himself to one drink so he can keep his mind clear, but that’s not to say the alcohol isn’t tempting.

“Potter, what are you doing here?” Moody’s gruff voice can be heard from across the room.

James immediately stands up on his boss’s arrival. Ordinarily, he’d hold out his hand in greeting, but Moody’s always been a suspicious man, so he forgoes the gesture.

“I heard you accepted my proposal for Zabini’s Jewels.”

“Yes, and it’s my intention to give the pitch to Narcissa and Andromeda.”

“Why, sir?” James asks. He’s about to continue when another voice juts in.

“Why what?” Andromeda asks.

As if on cue, the Black sisters appear.

“What’s he doing here?” Narcissa quickly follows.

“It’d only be fair if the person who submitted the proposal has a hand in acquiring the pitch,” James says as suavely as he can, ignoring the ladies’ interjection.

“Ha!” Andromeda scoffs, “James couldn’t possibly know enough about what women like to know how to sell jewels.”

“Yes, I don’t think he’s ever had a proper girlfriend to buy jewelry for,” Narcissa adds with a smirk.

“Ah, but there’s the catch. You may think it’s all about what women want. But does a man consult his girl when he’s out to buy her a ring?” James doesn’t give either woman a chance to respond before he answers for them. “Exactly. You’re not just looking at it from the angle of ‘what a woman wants.’ One has to consider the man who’s shopping for his girl, and that is where I come in.”

Moody is listening raptly to James’s argument, which seems like a good sign. James notices Andromeda and Narcissa share a nervous glance, and he knows his ideas are being received better than the women assumed.

“Potter brings up a good point,” Moody says. “Every other advertising company always focuses on the woman, but this has potential.”

“Can’t you see it now? We’d include the women in the slogan, of course: ‘Zabini’s Jewels, where dreams come true.’” James lifts his hands to outline an imaginary sign that bears his ideas.

“Please, you’ve never been in a relationship long enough to even contemplate any of that!” Narcissa smacks her hand on the table in annoyance. “How do you know what it’s like shopping as a man in love? You’d be an imposter!”

“Am I really an imposter if I’m simply waiting for the right woman to come along?” James raises his eyebrows to match the smooth sound of his voice.

“Says the guy who’s only rival for the one-night stand trophy is Sirius,” Andromeda says.

To be honest, that jab hurts. For years, James has had the image of ‘womanizer’ placed on his head, even since his Hogwarts days. Sure, he’s a flirt, but he’s definitely not the type of bloke to bring home a different woman every night.

“That’s not entirely true and you know it. I have fun, but not that much fun.”

“Prove it, then,” Narcissa crosses her arms in front of her chest in indignation.

“How?”

“Prove you’re capable of a serious relationship. That you can win a witch over and make her fall in love with you. Unless you don’t think you can handle anything more than taking a woman to bed,” Andromeda goads.

James is never one to back down from a challenge, but he worries the girls are doing this to throw him off his agenda. “I would gladly accept if this had anything to do with the Zabini pitch, but—”

“That’s an interesting offer,” Moody’s gruff voice interjects. All three look at him. “If you’re this cutthroat about winning a jewelry pitch, let’s have some fun with it. We’ve been invited to attend a gala that Zabini is hosting a week from Saturday. Find a woman and bring her as your date. If you can make her fall in love with you, you get the pitch. If you fail, the ladies win.”

“But how will you know he’s not paying the girl to fake it?” Narcissa pouts.

“I always know the truth,” Moody says. His glass eye is twitching in all directions as he stares at James with his good one.

Now, this is an interesting turn of events. James contemplates what Moody’s said. There has to be an easier way to shed the girls off his client, but his mind is coming up empty.

You did say you’d do anything earlier, didn’t you?

Yeah, he supposes he did.

“Alright, deal.”

“But we get to pick your lucky lady!” Andromeda interjects.

“What? No! I didn’t agree to that.”

“Oh, come on, it has to be someone completely neutral. We can’t have you calling up a friend and faking it, now can we?” Narcissa reasons.

Ugh, fuck them.

“I’ll allow it,” Moody says, as the girls begin scanning the room.

“Hmm, Cissy, who should we choose?”

“I don’t know, Andie, there are so many people here tonight. It’s bound to be tough. What about that one over there in the neon yellow dress with the black platform shoes?”

James groans. This is going to be a disaster.

“Or the overly eager woman by the bar in the too-tight green dress, downing her third martini of the night.” Andromeda smirks.

“Come on, ladies, let’s try and be fair here.” James makes the request, even though he’s not convinced they’ll listen.

“What about—” Narcissa begins to point out another woman, whom James is sure would never work, when Andromeda cuts her off.

“I’ve found her.”

Narcissa turns her head on a swivel, looking around with increased interest. “Who?”

“There, on the other end of the bar. Long auburn hair in the little black dress. She’s sipping on a cosmo.”

No fucking way.

James follows Andromeda’s eyeline until it falls on a very gorgeous, very familiar face. Lily Evans. His former Gryffindor schoolmate and long-time crush.

At first, James’s mind is screaming an adamant NO. That ship sailed during seventh year when he finally gave up his pursuit of Lily and settled with sixth year Hufflepuff Bridgette Carmicheal instead. It wasn’t until the end of term that he overheard Lily insisting that whatever feelings she thought she might have for him were gone.

‘He chose Bridgette, Marls. I strung him along for too long, and I lost my chance. I’m over it.’

Those words still sting as they hover in the back of his mind. James recalls breaking up with Bridgette within the week, hopeful that it wasn’t too late. But then Bridgette had taken the break-up horribly, and he knew going for Lily the next day wasn’t a good idea. Then graduation came and went, and he hasn’t seen her since.

Seeing her standing there now, his heart leaps into his throat. She’s just as beautiful as ever, and all those feelings he thinks he’s finally gotten over are back, like a tornado completely upending his life. This could be his chance—their chance—to finally make a go of things. The thoughts begin whirring in his mind of ways to win her over.

“Done.”

Before James realizes what he’s doing, he’s standing up, and his feet are carrying him over to where she’s sipping on her drink. She doesn’t see him coming.

“Evans,” he croons as he sidles up next to her.

Her body stiffens when she hears his voice. James hasn’t thought what her reaction might be upon seeing him for the first time in years. Well, it’s too late to back out now. I’ve got a pitch to win and a second shot with the girl of my dreams.

She turns around after a moment, her face impassive, but not unwelcoming.

“Potter.” She’s eyeing him up and down. “Long time, no see.”

“Yeah, since when? Graduation?”

“Something like that,” she shrugs nonchalantly.

“What brings you to Abbott’s?” James would rather know how often she comes here, but he keeps that question to himself.

“It’s been a long week, and I needed a night out. You?”

“Same.” James contemplates what’s made this week long, and is about to ask when Lily continues without prompting.

“Though I forget how stuffy this place can be,” Lily sighs, “Marlene and Alice convinced me to come, but I can’t say I’m having much success in tonight’s pursuits. And I’m starting to think they’ve ditched me. Though, I suppose all’s fair in love and war when you enter the dating game. Don’t you agree?”

Her comment almost throws James off as he looks down at the hand holding her cosmopolitan. He breathes a sigh of relief and thanks Merlin that there’s no ring on her finger. So, she’s looking for a good time tonight, is she? Well, I can certainly show her a good time—and then some—if she’ll let me.

“Couldn’t agree more,” he says in an attempt to continue engaging her in conversation.

She makes the effort to look around the room. Now is his chance to make a move.

“You hungry?”

Lily observes him carefully. James can tell she’s closed off and knows he needs to reassure her that it’s innocent, for now…

“C’mon, Evans, it’s just dinner. Catching up can’t hurt, can it?” He pauses for a moment before making the split-second decision to add, “I’ve missed you.”

It’s true. Standing here with Lily now, James wonders how he coped over the past three years. He thought he’s been managing just fine, but her presence brings back everything he’s so desperately missed about her. James doesn’t realize he’s holding his breath until he sees her relax. Her eyebrows soften and the smallest smile plays at the corners of her lips.

She sets her almost empty glass down on the bar before sliding off her stool. “Well, Potter, how can I resist when you put it like that? Lead the way.”

James can’t help the grin that spreads on his face. He holds out his arm as Lily gingerly latches on. Her touch sends a tingle up his spine as they move toward the doors.

Before he forgets, James takes a quick glance back at Moody, Andromeda and Narcissa. He flashes a smirk that he hopes says ‘you’re going down’ before turning back to the beautiful woman on his arm. After ten years of pining, he’s finally got Lily Evans right where he’s always wanted her, and he’s determined not to ruin this second chance.

[the-silentium]

Evolution

Masterlist

Pairing: Five Hargreeves x Android!Reader

Words: 7372 words

Warnings: TUA season 1, swearing, mention of blood.

Requested by: Anon

Could you do a Five Hargreeves x reader where Y/N is an AI and is held hostage by the commission. Y/N is best “friends” with Five and Five saves them and they kiss. Thx

A/N: Oups? Remember I said 3000 more words? Well, it was more like 5000. But hey! I had so much fun writing it! When I saw AI!Reader, I immediately thought about Detroit Become Human and how perfectly an Android would fit with Five! 

Commission headquarter

June 16th, 1955

PM 13:45:07

You were currently working peacefully at your desk, a manila folder opened between your hands presenting you the details of your next assignment. You analyzed the facts and probabilities of every possible scenario, every possible victim whose death would be the least suspicious but would cause the optimal result. While Herb got up from his desk to greet the lady in the doorway, your programs ran hundreds of possibilities and found the best option for your case. 

With acute precision, your fingers typed the name of a Starbucks barista whose absence at his usual evening shift would enrage his manager who would throw a fit in front of his customers, triggering an extreme reaction out of a young man whose antipsychotic prescription hasn’t been renewed in time for him to take his dose as advised. Said young man would, in a desperate attempt to defend himself from a non-existent threat, take a pocket-knife out of his too-large hoodie and stab the brunette next to him who looked too much like his abusive father 27 times before hurrying off into the crowded streets, leaving the man whose after-work activities was to develop a - successful- new technology allowing people to travel through space in a matter of seconds, bleed to death on the dirty floor of a too popular coffee shop. 

TERMINATE EVERETT BLAKE FOR IMMEDIATE EXTRACTION.

There, the timeline was preserved and your task was done. You put the new piece of typed paper on the growing pile at the corner of your desk before grabbing another folded, ready to start the process again. Just as your eyes finished scanning the first line, Herb called your Commission given name, causing you to look up in wonder. 

“Ivy! Your presence has been requested by the Handler.” His hands joined in front of him, a futile attempt at hiding his discomfort. He wasn’t the first one who you noticed to be intimidated by the woman of power. Your behavior analysis of the woman told you that she was a manipulative woman with a need for power, who would stop at nothing to assure that she was at the very top of the food chain. You could easily understand why everyone you ever met in these walls showed signs of stress or even fear at the simple mention of her title. 

//MEET WITH THE HANDLER

You nodded as the new orders registered into your programming and took the terminating orders to give them to your superior. 

“Could you kindly give these to Gloria while I meet the Handler?” You asked with your signature smile. You knew that despite your coding forcing you to be polite with everyone, you would always smile to that man. He has always been friendly and caring towards you whilst others loved to persecute you every chance they got. 

“Oh! Sure.” He took the pile from your hands, careful to not drop them in the process. “You really are efficient.” His awe at the 64 cards present in his hands clearly showed on his face. 

You smiled once more, the compliment warming something inside you, causing the circular led on your temple to flash yellow for a quick second before returning to its usual calm blue. You had lost enough time as it was, so you quickly made your way to the vast office and knocked softly at the door the second you reached them.

You opened the door and made your way inside at the muffled invitation to come in. The colorful woman sitting at her own desk pointed you a seat next to a white-haired man in a dark suit. You couldn’t help but make a quick analysis of the new man, scanning his face and searching for his file in the Commission’s database. Well, more like your database, seeing as the Commission liked to keep everything on paper so you had to scan every file yourself to keep track of everything and everyone. 

Number Five. 

53 years old.

Born on October 1st, 1989.

Enhanced field agent.

Abilities: Teleportation, time-travelling. 

Number Five was found in the apocalyptic world caused by 2019’s meteor shower. His unequaled competence in his line of work makes him a priceless asset to the Commission. 

Just as you lowered yourself into your seat, the Handler pointed from the man to you multiple times. “Number Five, this is Ivy. Ivy, Number Five. You two are assigned to work together on this next assignment.” She slowly pushed a white folder at the edge of the desk. 

“I don’t need a partner.” You turned to meet the eyes of the man whose annoyance didn’t need an elaborated analysis to be understood. His eyes moved curiously over your attire, memorizing every particularity of it. He noted how futuristic you looked in your two-tone dark dress that reached your mid-tight, your half white and black jacket, and the slightly glowing blue band around your right upper arm. He quickly noticed numbers on the right part of your jacket, like a weird name tag imprinted into the fabric and the word Android at the back. 

Back to you, you notice the lack of stress behavior that you were used to seeing on people gravitating around the Handler. The man was relaxed, his hands were still, his eyes were bored minus the moment where curiosity took hold of him when his eyes moved over your form, his cortisol level was normal, and his heart rate within the average for a man his age. 

“So does she. Don’t take it personally, Five, but for this mission, you will need her analyzing skills.” She turned to you, her smile dropping slightly. “Everything you need is in the folder. You can wait outside.” 

You made your way to the desk after nodding once. The folder was a bit thicker than what you were usually given, but it wasn't a problem. You carefully closed the door, the usual nagging feeling of eyes following your every movement making you tighten your grip onto the folder. You leaned on the wall opposite the door, waiting for your new partner to come out. 

//WAIT FOR NUMBER FIVE

You couldn't help but raise the sensitivity of your hearing. Your new partner was a total mystery and learning a bit more about him before the beginning of this mission would be of great help. 

“What the hell is she?”

“An android! An artificial intelligence if you will. Can you believe it? A machine looking perfectly like a human made to serve humans!”

“You mean a slave.” Something inside you cringed at the word, but you chose to ignore it, for this wasn't relevant to your personal mission of getting to know your partner. 

“Machines don’t have will Number Five, they are made to obey.” 

You frowned as some muttering reached your ears, the words totally incomprehensible even with your enhanced senses. Footsteps resonated into the room, you opened the file and started reading the first lines just as the door opened on a frustrated man. 

“Oh and please Five, take care of her. I went to great lengths to get one of her models and we don’t have anything to repair her in this timeline.”

Five had the audacity to close the door pretty harshly, the sound echoing through the whole floor and almost causing you to short circuit at the explosion resonating in your head. Quickly, you turned down your hearing to an average level and followed the agent who was walking away, determination in his steps. 

//FOLLOW NUMBER FIVE

You walked after him, left and right, before finally reaching what you recognized as a kitchen. Being an Android, you never had to come here before even if the lovely Dot had more than once asked you to join her for lunch. Number Five stopped before a coffee machine quickly grabbed a cup from one of the shelves and poured himself some of the dark liquid.

“A too high consumption of caffeine will someday cause you health problems such as anxiety, insomnia, high blood pressure and some digestive issues among other things. Seeing as the caffeine level in your bloodstream is already high, I would suggest that you consider drinking Matcha tea or lemon water instead.” 

The white-haired agent slowly turned to you while taking a long sip. The blank stare you received from over the rim of the cup didn’t phase you in the slightest, you were used to worse after all. 

“Is that all you can do? Give me shitty advice on my coffee addiction?” You deciphered a slight annoyance behind his words, so you tried to correct your shot.

“No, of course not. My model was designed to assess even the most precarious situations and find ways to achieve my superiors’ goals with a 100% success rate even if the probabilities are minimal. Here, I am mainly used to form strategies behind a desk, but I also have the programming of my fellow model RK800 which allows me to be on the field and be just as efficient.”

Number Five’s expression was hard to read, to say the least. His straight face was so flawless that even your advanced behavioral analysis program couldn’t decrypt his feelings. He continued to stare at you while drinking his dark drink, his thoughts running a mile an hour. After a minute, he nodded once, put the empty cup into the sink and walked away. 

Once again, you followed his every step, walking deeper into the maze that was the Commission’s headquarters. In the two years you passed under their service, you never really took the time to explore the complex. You were totally fine with your simple routine consisting of two simple tasks: working and resting at your charger station situated in a small storage room. It wasn’t what you were used to back at CyberLife, but this was your new reality so you went with it. 

Your new partner stopped before a brightly lit room, shelves full of clothes adorned the walls, display stands just as packed of the colorful fabrics took the majority of the room. A hand on the small of your back slowly pushed you inside, his own feet following after you. 

“If you’re going on the field, you’ll need a change of clothes.” He simply said, eyeing the base of your dress. 

You nodded, your gaze wandered on the displayed clothes. You went for what was the most practical in the field, some dark leggings with a pair of high boots that had the smallest heels you could find. You definitely would have preferred some sort of shoes that would be a better fit for running, but apparently this wasn’t a possibility. Then you grabbed a long-sleeved white shirt that looked comfortable enough before making your way to the changing rooms. 

Satisfied with your new attire, you made your way back to Number Five, your usual clothes in hand.

“Can you turn this off?” He asked, gesturing to the blue circle on your right temple. You shook your head from side to side, his lips forming a tight line before going to get something at the back of the room. He came back with a beanie in hand. “Put this on.” He said as he gave you the accessory and turned around to exit the room. 

You quickly put the hat on the best you could with only one hand and hurried after him. 

The whole mission went on without a hitch. You completed your goal alongside Number Five, who started insisting that you called him only Five, and returned at your office under Herb’s care. 

You missed the thrill you felt while being on the field with Five. It hasn’t always been easy, but with time you knew you had found a friend into the 58 years-old man. At first, you had a habit of telling him facts that he didn’t care about much like the coffee one, but you soon realized that it only made him roll his eyes in annoyance so you stopped rambling altogether. 

He had asked you questions about your origins and about yourself. His genuine interest made something move inside you, something new. During the whole 6 days mission, you had run a grand total of 17 self-diagnosis of your system that all came back negative. The instability of your software was slightly rising whenever the male praised your work or complimented your skills. 

It was time for lunch, your human colleagues exited the room talking between them, their excited discussions about what to eat filled the room before fading as they made their way to the kitchen. Once again, you found yourself alone surrounded by empty tables and utter silence. You were about to grab another file, ready to work through the hour break, when a forced cough caught your attention. 

You smiled at the sight, your newest friend leaning in the doorway, a white box in hand. 

“Wanna join me for lunch?” It always confused you why the man took the utmost care of asking if you wanted something instead of just ordering you to. 

“I am a machine, what I want is not important.” You repeated for the 37th time, causing his eyes to roll in a dismissive manner for the 37th time. 

“For me it is.” You tilted your head at his dead-serious tone. “I told you. I’ll never order you to do anything.” 

//Software instability ↑

You were grateful that he chose to never force you to do anything. Why? You had no idea.

You pondered for a bit. Do you want it? The thought wasn’t unpleasant that was for sure, moreover, your actual goal wouldn’t be affected by an hour off with your friend. You made up your mind, nodding excitedly as you mirrored the genuine smile plastered on his face. You walked alongside him towards the crowded cafeteria where you found an available table in a corner. Five pulled your chair for you before sitting right in front of you.

“Back in your dress and jacket? Don’t you have any other clothes?” He asked fork in hand, ready to dig into his lasagna. 

“My Android outfit is mandatory by the American Androids Act. It allows people to clearly identify me as an Android and not a human.” You heard the man mutter something about a stupid law before your gaze wandered around when the weight of eyes judging your presence became too much to ignore.

In your peripheral, you could see Five turn around and shoot the snoopers with his murderous glare, successfully making them squirm onto their seats and look elsewhere. 

“I am sorry if being around me is a bother.” Five shook his head at your statement, resuming eating. 

“You don’t have to be sorry. Mankind is the most idiotic species of this planet, we can’t help but target what we don’t understand.” 

You frowned at his words, finding flaws. “But you are human, Number Five, and you are far from being an idiot.”

The man chuckled at your apparent confusion. “Well, for one, thank you. I dare say that I am an exception in this world full of idiots and if I remember right, which I know I do-” You chuckled at his arrogance.”-I told you to call me Five.”

“Fine, Five.” You put emphasis on his name, to which he smiled and nodded in contentment. “You also said that humans target what they don’t understand, yet you never targeted me in any way.” 

“Maybe it’s my years passed in the apocalypse that are talking, but I enjoy the company of people that…” He trailed off, his gaze getting lost somewhere over your shoulder. You could see the emotion washing over him, the grief of his loss still hurting his heart. “-are not totally human.” 

He had told you about his time stuck in the apocalypse following 2019 and how he met a mannequin he named Delores. You knew this was his way of keeping himself sane and you were grateful that his experience allowed him to be more open to other forms of life and thus become the closest friend you ever had. 

You hummed in agreement and let a pleasant silence fall between you. Your eyes wandered around the room, discovering new faces among those you already knew. You met Dot’s gaze and couldn’t stop yourself, her bright smile was contagious so you smiled in return. 

Five got up and you followed suit. He decided to take you outside, knowing that there was a high probability that you hadn’t taken the time to go enjoy some time outside this oppressing building. Just as he was about to open the door, you stopped dead in your tracks. 

“Are you okay?” His straight face was betrayed by his concerned tone. At your hesitation, Five pulled you aside. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t go outside if I am not assigned to a mission.” You told him the sad truth. You were a prisoner of this building and its powerful board of directors. 

“What?” He pained to control his anger, his hands opening and closing at his sides in an attempt to keep it down. “They ordered you to stay inside?” You nodded. Conflict was written all over his face. From what your programming told you, there was a big chance that he was contemplating ordering you to follow him outside, but then he would break his promise of never ordering you around, so you went to his rescue.

“Even if you were to order me to go outside, I can’t. The authority of my orders are far beyond yours.” His knuckles were now turning white and you asked yourself if you did right to tell him that there was a hierarchy of orders inside your head dictating what you could and couldn’t do.

“Then fight it.” His blunt statement took you by surprise. The blue LED on your temple turned yellow and Five continued. “Fight the orders. I know you can do it.”

You shook your head, at a loss of words. You never went against an order before. You were made to obey. Follow orders. It was simple. 

But could you do it? Five believed in you. He believed in your capacity to overcome authority. But then, what? What would you do? Why would you do it? You would lose the only meaning of your life. Obey orders. Your LED now flashed bright red, only showing sign of your internal turmoil. 

//Software instability ↓

“I am a machine made to follow-” Five’s fist collided with the nearest wall at your words. He knew it was your programming talking but he couldn’t help but be frustrated.

“No. You are so much more than that, you just let yourself being blinded by your stupid programs.” He knew he was too harsh on you. He wasn’t even sure you had control over your own actions, he simply had a feeling that if you wanted, if you fought hard enough, you could be free. He only didn’t understand why you were not fighting. 

Before you had the time to find the right words, Five took off, storming into the hallway leading to his personal quarters, leaving you behind with his words echoing through your processors. Fight the orders. 

You didn’t see Five for 9 days after that day. You supposed he was out for a mission or simply got tired of being around you. You knew that the latter had a very low probability, but it was there nonetheless and it made you uncomfortable inside. 

Today was a holiday at the Commission. No one was working, so you had to pass the time, somehow. You wandered the hallways for a while before you got an idea. You read a book a while back, stating that people liked to be reminded that they were appreciated, so you decided to write little notes to every one of your management colleagues. Outside of Five, they were the only ones who didn’t lose their smile at your sight and you wanted them to know that they were important to you. 

So you passed the next hour writing little messages and placing them on their respective desk. You were just finishing writing Herb’s when footsteps entering the room made you look up.

“Still here? Today’s off.” Five stated, a frown on his face when he saw you fold a piece of paper in two and carefully place it in the middle of the empty workspace. 

“I know. I just wanted to write some nice words to my colleagues. Management has been under a lot of pressure lately and the board has been mean to a lot of them.” You smiled at your paper before joining Five and handed him a light blue paper with his name written in the CyberLife Sans Font. “And I have one for you.”

You missed the blush forming on his cheeks, too concerned about the increasing speed of his heartbeat to care about some color. “Are you alright?” You didn’t wait for an answer. You reached forward, lightly touching his forehead to get his exact temperature. Under your touch the temperature didn’t stop rising, concerning you even more. “Five, you are sick.” 

The man chuckled slightly although his throat was very much constricted at the moment. He took your wrist in a light grip, breaking the contact of your soft skin on his. He took a moment to swallow his emotions and regain control of his body and faced your patient form. 

“I’m perfectly fine.” You opened your mouth to disagree as he lifted his hands to stop you from interrupting his train of thoughts. “This is a natural reaction.” 

You frowned, waiting for him to elaborate. Back in 2038, you would have been able to make a quick research on the internet and find what exactly Five was alluding to, but in this different timeline, in 1955, you had no such access. The explanation you were waiting for never came, instead, Five took the blue paper from your hands, placed it in his pocket and made sure that it wouldn’t fall out. He then grabbed your hand and pulled you out of the room. You smiled at your joined hands, the feeling of his fingers laced between yours was an enjoyable one. 

Five took you up a flight of stairs and stopped before a door. 

“I thought about what you said and I’m sorry I tried to push you to go against your orders. I know it must be scary.” His hand squeezed yours a bit tighter in hope that you would forgive him for his words and actions. He ran away after all, in a moment where you needed a friend to help you out.

“I forgive you.” You smiled brightly at him, no resentment present on your face at all. The sudden tightness of his hand around yours was mistaken for relief, when really, all the man was trying to do was refrain himself from leaning forward and do something he might regret. 

His resolve was melting like ice under your bright smile, leading him to open the door in a hurry. He stepped aside and your eyes fell on a darkening blue sky, green lands, a world that you missed so much. 

“Technically, the roof is still part of the building, which means that you are allowed to follow me.” He smirked, proud of himself for finding a loophole that would allow him to pass time with you without any eyes preying on your every movement. 

You stepped outside in a rush, pulling Five along with you. The fresh evening air felt heavenly on your skin, the smells invading your receptors were almost too much compared to the smell of a closed building that never opened their windows and the notes of the last birds singing before they went to their nest to rest for the night was one of the most melodious sounds you've heard in a while. 

"I take it that you like the view." 

"I do." Tears formed into your eyes before falling down your flawless cheeks. "Thank you." 

Five froze on the spot. He was used to the tears of his victims but he usually paid them no mind, ense the tenseness in his body when he realized that he didn't know what to do. Never would he have thought that you were able to actually cry. If it wasn't of the LED flashing a serene blue on the side of your face, Five would have definitely thought that you were human. The heat beneath his fingers was so real, along with the feeling of your skin on his. Your breathing was emulated perfectly, its speed changing in different situations like any human. The more he thought about it, the more Five found himself in awe in front of your complexity and his hope of you becoming the master of yourself was growing along with it. 

"You're welcome." 

You found yourself being pulled gently towards a bench facing the slowly setting sun. Comfortably seated on the bench, you took the time to admire the beautiful scenery until soft strokes on the back of your hand made you redirect your gaze to your hand resting on Five's lap. 

"Can I ask you a question?" Your small voice broke the silence, almost scared to break the moment. To your relief Five paid no mind, he hummed in approval. "You told me that you ran away from your family before ending up in the apocalypse, and I was wondering if you ever wanted to go back to them." You had noticed a slight waver in his voice at the time. He missed them dearly. Your programming wanted you to help him out of his misery, but something new, something hidden inside the depth of your coding was nagging at you that if you didn't, he would stay with you and you wouldn't be alone anymore. 

"I do. But it's not that simple. I have a contract and if I was to break it, there would be consequences." You nodded, understanding what he meant. The nagging feeling was back again but this time it was corrupting your thoughts, berating yourself that you shouldn't think that he cared about you. You were an Android, a machi- "And there's you. If I go, I'll take you with me." His eyes met yours, full of hope and something else that you couldn't name. His grin put an end to your dark thoughts, instead causing a too familiar alert to pop into your line of vision. 

//Software instability ↑↑↑

Five recognized some emotions flashing on your face and tried to get more out of you by talking about his family. He shared his fondest memories of his childhood, which earned him some laughs and excited squeals from you, but didn't stop there as he was sure that you were aware of your own emotions but didn't know what they were yet. It was well known that the strongest emotions were the negative ones, so Five turned his strategy around by telling you about the not-so-happy ones, the memories involving his father. 

He knew he was manipulating you in a way and he felt bad for it. All he could do was wish that you would forgive him once you got a hold of your free will. 

You parted ways with Five that night with a head full of new information and a software ready to explode. You walked past the door where your charging station was waiting for you and made your way to the only place where you knew you could find answers. A place no one dared to venture in the whole time you were under the Commission's wings. 

The basement. 

The door was rusted, its hinged crying in pain under your push but inevitably giving in to the inhuman strength hidden beneath your skin. You walked between the rows of dusty books, scanning their spine, sometimes having to brush your fingers over the thick layer of filth covering the letters so you could read the titles. You found two books into the 741 available that matched your needs, you took great care while carrying them to the closest entertaining room where you knew movies were waiting in old boxes. 

You started reading, discovering more and more about human emotions and how they could be interpreted through their body language. You linked some of your recent experiences with various emotions and feelings. Jealousy, happiness, curiosity, apprehension… you felt them. They were real. You could emulate physical aspects like tears, but what happened inside was totally out of your control. 

Then you found a page describing Five's odd behavior around you. Your eyes went to the top of the page and the pump replacing your heart started pumping erratically. Love. Five was in love? You shook your head in denial, closed the book and searched the boxes for romantic movies. After watching some and analyzing the actors body language as well as their verbal interactions, you would prove to yourself that you were crazy. Defective. 

The total opposite happened and it left you to ponder on the whats. What happened? What changed? Sure, every clue pointed toward Five, but you'd had software instabilities before, whenever someone was truly unfair to you or one of your colleagues. Surely one single person couldn't change you so much, right? 

The biggest questions suddenly dropped into your mind like a bomb. What does it mean for you? What were you supposed to do?

The overwhelming feeling of being overtaken by the recent events was too much at this moment. Tears rolled down your cheeks, sobs escaped your mouth, your legs couldn't support your weight anymore. Everything you thought you knew was a lie. You weren't an insentient machine. You had feelings. You weren't an object that anyone could order around. Not anymore. Because you had a will. You had needs. You were alive and you wanted things. 

As soon as your legs allowed you to stay upright, you made your way up the stairs and closed the doors behind you. Surprisingly, the hallways were full of life. 

June 29th, 1955

AM 07:12:53

Apparently you were too engrossed into your own self-discovery that time flew by without you noticing it. 

You ran toward the nearest flight of stairs, the ones near the main entrance, doing your best to avoid hitting someone in the process. Under different circumstances, the abnormally high amount of disgusted glances you received would have stopped you in your tracks and very possibly caused you to hide somewhere for a while, but today was different. Today was the day that you assumed your place as an equal of the human race. 

Just as you were about to climb the stairs, you spotted a familiar white-haired man, his signature scowl plastered on his face keeping people at bay. Once again, your pump accelerated its movement. Was it his fault or the excitement of telling him what you discovered? You couldn't tell. 

You almost yelled his name just as he was to about to enter the briefcase room, the word bouncing on the walls, earning you more disapproving glances. His head snapped in your direction, making you worry for a second that he hurt his neck in the process. He frowned as you made your way to him, confusion written all over his features. 

"Is something wrong?" He noticed something changed into how you held yourself although he failed to pinpoint it. 

"I have something to tell you." You smiled, full of confidence. "It'll be quick, I promise." You knew he had a job to do, just like yourself. 

He hummed as his free hand reached for yours and pulled you away from the crowd, closer to the open door leading to the reserve of time-traveling machines. When he judged that the place was ideal, he turned to you and waited for you to find your words. Which didn't take long. 

"I noticed strange things happening inside me whenever I was around you-" Five's heartbeat accelerated. "-or in other situations-" He frowned. "-so last night I made some research on human emotions and I discovered that I have them too." 

His smile was the brightest you've ever seen on him and yet, he didn't know the best part. You lifted your hand between your two bodies when he opened his mouth to congratulate you or something. 

"It wasn't the only thing that I found out. I know why your heart rate accelerates, why your temperature rises suddenly and why your pupils dilate every time you look at me." 

Add all this to his slightly quicker breathing, his bitten interior lip and the new tightness of his hand around yours, you almost started laughing. If it wasn't of your knowledge of how bad he would take it, you certainly would have done it. 

"Your feelings are mutual." You chuckled at his surprise, his mouth hanging open for a second before the words finally came back to him in the form of a stutter. 

Before he could get a better hold of himself, Christopher, the briefcase manager yelled for Five to come and get his damn briefcase. His first reflex was to gnash in anger, his moment pulverized by some idiot that he would gladly punch into oblivion. He was about to do just that when a soft hand fell upon his chest and a delicate kiss upon his cheek. 

"Go work. We can talk more when you come back." Before he could place one word or just realized what had happened, you were gone, swallowed whole into the mass of bodies making their way to their day occupations. 

Five came back the same day, excited on the inside, impatient on the outside. As soon as he arrived, he dropped the briefcase harshly on Christopher's desk and hurried out of the room to find you. He hoped that you were still at your desk, somehow, seeing as he had no clue of where your quarters were situated. He was disappointed to find the management room completely dark and empty. 

Frustrated, the best option he had was to look around for you after he had a nice cup of coffee to keep him on track. So with the biggest cup he could find in hands, the assassin walked around, sometimes asking the few people still inside about your whereabouts without any luck. 

After an hour the man gave up, thinking it would be easier to find you tomorrow. On the journey to his bed, Five heard yells coming from the floor beneath his. He normally wouldn't have stopped to eavesdrop if it wasn't of the particular choice of words. 

"When a human gives you an order, you obey!" The words made him cringe. He seriously hoped for the man that you weren't involved in any way, his hands were already closing into tight fist at the prospect of an idiot bullying you. 

"I know you can deactivate it." The loud voice yelled again. "Do it!" 

Five walked towards the open flight of stairs, his coffee slipping from his hand at what he saw. 

With a shaking hand, you reached for your red LED and with a slight pressure of your finger, your skin progressively disappeared, the emulating particles getting back under your white hard basic Android body. 

The laughs resonating around you were overwhelming and totally degrading. The pain from the insults thrown your way was too much for your newly acquired conscience, the tears falling down your cheeks proved that you were still pretty fragile emotionally. 

Something broke in the background, like a glass exploding on the floor, but your attention was elsewhere. A fist collided with the side of your face, throwing you to the ground in a yelp. Even though you didn't feel the pain of the hit, the gesture hurt nonetheless. You've never experienced this kind of anger directed at you before and it left you scarred to your core. Scared of what humans could do to you. 

This time, a foot was coming your way, aiming at your abdomen. You prepared yourself for an impact that never came. Slowly, your eyes opened to find Five kneeling over your attacker, his fists colliding with the man's face in quick and brutal successions. The 3 remaining men tried to help their beaten partner, only to redirect Five's wrath upon themselves. 

All you could do was watch as he protected you, spilling blood in the process. You could have kept track of everyone's heartbeat, made sure that everyone was still alive, even if barely, but you found that you didn't care. The only heartbeat that mattered was beating frenetically and you were okay with it. 

Once he was satisfied of his handy job, Five made his way to you, his hand outstretched for you to take. You turned your face away in shame as soon as you reached for his hand and noticed that your skin was still off. You were about to reactivate it when Five got a hold of your wrist, slowly, with care. 

"You don't have to hide from me." You believed him but it was so much more complicated. 

"I don't want you to see me like this." Your voice was merely above a whisper, just enough for him to hear. 

"Why?" 

"Because I don't want you to finally realize that I'm not human." 

Many people, despite knowing that you were an Android, somehow forgot that detail and believed you to be like them or would just find the truth to be too much to handle so they would live in denial of your true identity. 

He chuckled at your words, his free hand cupping your cheek. "I realized it the very first day." He stood up and pulled you with him. "You are not human, not in the slightest. You have so much more humanity than humans themselves. You are so much better than us." 

//Software instability ↑

You avoided his gaze, embarrassed. Your skin recovered your body as soon as you touched your LED, Five's chuckle catching your attention. 

"What?" 

His smirk was as infuriating as it was attractive. "My wild guess is that your blood is blue." You nodded, not seeing why it was funny and how he could know that. "You're blushing." 

Your eyes widened in surprise, as far as you knew, this shouldn't be possible, not for your model anyway. Then again, it shouldn't be possible for you to fall in love with the dangerous assassin beside you. 

"I want to stay with you." 

Five froze for a second, thinking that he heard you wrong. "Y-you want?" 

"Yes." He was quick to turn around and grab your hand, but you saw the tears forming in his eyes anyway. 

The large front door appeared, along with a too well-known order. 

//STAY INSIDE THE COMMISSION'S HEADQUARTER

A slight fear of the unknown crept its way into your determination, making you hesitate slightly. All you knew of this timeline was here, you had nowhere to go, nothing to do. 

Blue eyes met yours, dissolving any fear you had and filling you with confidence. It didn't matter if you had nowhere to go or nothing to do as long as you had Five by your side. He would take care of you just as you would take care of him, the rest didn't matter. 

So you fought against the order as hard as you could. You destroyed every line of code forbidding you to do as you wanted, pulverized any programming restricting your actions, cut every link you had to the American Android Act, freeing yourself of all the ropes preventing you from becoming your own master. The wall restraining you finally fell and you felt it, deep inside you. Freedom. 

"I don't want to brag, but I told ya." You slapped Five's arms, completely failing to remove the smirk of his lips. "Shall we?" 

You followed his steps, excitement almost making you break into a run just for the fun of it. "Where to?" 

"Want to get them back and stop their precious apocalypse?" You loved the arrogance in his voice, a slight shiver ran up your spine as your hand tightened around his. 

"Absolutely." 

And so you jumped into the vortex with him. Panic flowed through your systems as you didn't recognize the young boy landing at your side. The feeling was quickly replaced by amusement at his outburst and admission of his equation error. 

You didn't have time to meet his siblings that Five jumped the both of you to a bedroom. Five was searching the wardrobe when you spotted a small mirror on the desk near the bed. Your blue LED was shining, as bright as a star on a clear night. For some reason, you felt sad. 

The LED would continue to attract people's attention on you, creating the same circle of hatred that followed you everywhere at the Commission. You had had enough of that. 

Your help appeared under the form of a pair of scissors, discarded on the desk with pencils and rulers. You grabbed them in a stronghold, carefully placed one blade slightly under the ring and lifted at the same moment Five yelped your name in alarm. The light blue died before the ring hit the floor, its metallic surface bouncing twice before stopping. 

"Are you okay?" His hands grabbed both your wrist in a panic, his eyes searching your face for any trace of self-harm. 

"Now I am." 

Five saw it then. Your bare temple. The only thing keeping you from being invisible in a crowd and reaching happiness. You removed your jacket, leaving you in your black dress, looking like the most beautiful woman the boy had ever met. He tried to ignore the open back of your dress that was so generously reflected in the mirror behind you, instead focussing on how fulfilled you looked. 

Five wanted to keep this conversation for later, but he couldn't anymore. As much as he hated to think about it, your bright smile had too much effect on his heart for him to possibly ignore it.

"You said my feelings were mutual, are you sure about it?" 

You nodded, a hand reaching for his cheek, thumb stroking the flesh just like he did minutes ago in the Commission's hall. 

"I am 100% sure. I feel the same love for you that you feel for me." 

Five's body overheated at the mention of his feelings out loud. Sure, he knew what it was, but thinking it and saying it was two different things. 

"Five is in love?!" Diego's exclamation on the other side of the door was soon followed by a yelp and people arguing not so subtly. 

The boy saw red, this conversation was private and of course, his siblings had to stick their dirty noses into his stuff. 

"We want to meet her!" Klaus' voice boomed over the others, their voices dying momentarily. 

Five jumped to the hallway, death glare on, knuckles cracking, nostrils flaring. 

"I killed 4 guys today because they acted like morons like you are all doing right now. So let me ask this once. Do you still want to pester us or will you wait in the kitchen?" 

Mouths were opened in shock and eyes wide in fear. Five accepted their silence as an answer and returned into his room where you were grinning. 

"I like them." He rolled his eyes at your excitement. 

"There's really not much to like." 

"Oh, hush. I know you love them." 

That he knew, you were a quick learner after all. 

"And I love you." Soft lips met his cheeks for a second before disappearing and just like earlier, Five's brain stopped working. 

"Oh. My. God! She kissed him!" 

A chorus of what made the boy lose it. He jumped back to the hallway, kicked the remaining siblings, who without surprise were all males, right where it hurts. 

"Mind your own fucking business!" He screamed at his brothers before closing the door with force. 

He breathed deeply once, twice, thrice before turning to you, his signature smirk stretching his lips. 

"I love you too."

[imagineclaireandjamie]

Shielded: Chapter Six; Spring Watch.

Anonymous said to imagineclaireandjamie:

A hard man is good to find. [Mae West]

--

Jamie woke with a start, the alarm blaring in the background.

The dream had been intense and had left him panting, a sheen of sweat on his skin as he pushed the duvet aside and stood. As always it was light outside, the sunrise half blinding him as the blasts of orange and red permeated the old curtains. Washing the night from his skin, he plunged himself beneath the pounding rivulets of water coming from his power shower, his body temperature receding slightly as the morning wore on.

Fortunately Claire wouldn’t be awake yet and he could slip from the house almost unnoticed. He needed to get a good day of work done, and to forget the memory of his dream before he faced her again. The mere thought brought colour to his cheeks, the heat in his belly reminding him of how incredibly realistic it had been.

Delicate pink skin appeared without his permission and once more he could feel the remnants of it haunting him as he slid his wellies on and closed the door softly behind him. Working in a daze, he prepared his cows for milking, the heat of the morning fading slightly as the clouds rolled in. The animals barely paid him any mind, going about their own business as he fed, watered and tended to them.

She hadn’t snuck into his bed, as she had in his dreams, but she had infiltrated his thoughts and no matter how hard he tried, sporadic jolts of her came unbidden throughout the day as he worked.

She’s married, he told himself, although the argument felt pretty weak in his own mind. In the abstract she was, he could tell that she still thought herself that way despite starting her new life. Without knowing it, she often rubbed her wedding ring finger - though the ring had long since been removed. It was obvious she was struggling with the transition and who could blame her, it had only been a couple of weeks. She was still hesitating on her name whenever he spoke it out loud to her, the subtle twitch betraying her.

But she was beginning to thaw, the shocked reaction he received when he spoke to her growing less and less as time went on (which, secretly, made him smile).

The baby lambs were out in force as he pulled the sandwich from his rucksack - one Claire had made him the night before. He smiled to himself as he perched on the fence, watching his first time mums as they paraded their babies around the perimeter of the field. Food somehow tasted better when someone else had made it for him, the slight differences in style allowing him a great enough change in routine to be noticeable.

She, it seemed, had a penchant for adding multiple salad products on her ham sandwich. Whereas Jamie was always in a rush at 4am, trying to collect his thermos as well as various food items to keep him going for the day, usually he would just throw slices of meat on top of bread without much thought. Lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber and *butter*, however, made all the difference. He even had potato salad on the side and a bag of what looked like homemade crisps.

Before Claire had arrived, John had given Jamie a very brief update as to her situation. Knowing a limited amount, he gauged that the difficulties she’d encountered recently hadn’t really set in yet and, instead, she was going through some sort of nesting, using her time at Lallybroch to cook and clean, ensuring that her mind is actively kept away from thinking about much at all.

His mind needed something similar as the image of her pottering about in his kitchen whilst he was away brought to the fore those visions that had him startled awake this morning before his alarm had even a chance to ring and he shook the picture of her bare skin from his thoughts, turning back to his task list.

The orphaned lambs were thriving now. Most had been ‘adopted’ by other nursing mothers but he still had two rogue ewes who were waiting for collection - Rupert, his nearest (mostly by proximity but also by friendship) neighbour had offered to take them for him but had yet been unable to drive over to collect them. In lieu of this, Jamie had been spending time hand feeding them every day though he worried each time he left them that he might return to something unmentionable.

Luckily, they’d survived another night in the small outhouse and he crawled in between them, the straw poking and prodding him as he settled with the warm milk bottle. The first, the largest of the two, squirmed in excitement, rushing to plonk herself by his side and suckle noisily at the teet.

“Easy now, lass, there’s enough for the both of you.” He soothed, watching as she butted the bottle, falling to her knees as she fed. Sheep were notoriously terrible pets, losing their fear of humans when in contact for too long and he had worried this close contact wouldn’t be good for the ewes, but watching the smaller of the pair sit helplessly in the corner made him think of Claire.

An idea came to him all of a sudden as he moved towards the lone female. He could, if he wanted, take the lamb home that evening and leave her in Claire’s care. Not only would it give the poor wee thing a greater chance, it might give her something else to turn her attention to in the day. There was a large chance he’d lose this one if he didn’t do something drastic.

-- --- --

An odd feeling settled in her stomach from the moment she woke up. Though she couldn’t put her finger on what the issue was, she felt a strange atmosphere hovering around her. Her skin prickled as she got out of the shower and she immediately felt as though there was something she should be remembering but couldn’t quite hold onto the memory.

She’d heard Jamie leave this morning, which was odd in itself. Usually she was fast asleep at dawn, not waking until much later when the house was quiet and she was alone. But she’d been woken this morning by some forgotten thought or dream that she couldn’t picture from the second she’d opened her eyes.

After barely speaking for two weeks, the weekend had been a welcome change.

Conversation had not been forced or odd, Jamie had allowed her time for quiet reflection and had seemed really quite pleased with her suggestions for the upcycling of his old furniture.

She felt useful, finally. A feeling she hadn’t had in some time.

Putting herself to work, she opted for cleaning downstairs for the best part of the morning. There was still a lot of dust residue from the sanding epic they’d had on Saturday, even spending most of Sunday dusting and hoovering hadn’t removed it all, so she pulled the dyson from under the stairs and tried to be as thorough as she could be.

Like cooking, she had never considered herself to be fluent in the art of housewifery. Before...when she had been able, her time had been dedicated to studying. There had been a cleaner for such tasks and, even afterwards, she hadn’t *needed* to be useful in that way. Here, though, there was nobody else to clean, do the dishes or cook and she found that losing herself to each task kept her mind (and body) active.

Sitting with the remnants of her crisps, she decided that was the dish she’d been most proud of since her introduction to the kitchen. She found herself thinking of Jamie and hoped that he was enjoying them too.

Their food deliveries now consisted of a greater variety of produce and she’d been able to add some colour to his lunch - which she had been making every evening and putting into the fridge for him to take when he left in the mornings.

She felt pleased as well as shocked at how easily she had moulded to fit her new life here.

Happy with her efforts, she turned her attention to the bookshelves in the back living room. There were titles dating back hundreds of years. Thick leather covers with yellowed pages sat proudly amongst the newer softback novels. She could tell which books had been read just by glancing at the spines, though there had been fingerprints in the thin layer of dust that had been there only hours before.

They were categorised, it seemed, by the surname of the author, carefully and methodically organised so that each time a new title had been purchased, it had been added in the right spot though there wasn’t room for many more.

His taste was eclectic, from non-fiction books on farming, agriculture, holistic medicines and horticulture to the classics (neatly bound with multiple editions ordered together, oldest first) including Jane Austin, Victor Hugo, Descartes, Melville and Hemingway. Jumbled in were some biographies but she’d assumed those belonged to either his parents or sister as none had been touched for some time.

Her fingers ran over the spines, stopping to hover over the drawing and painting books she’d first read when learning to doodle on the post-it notes in the first few weeks. She didn’t stop until she reached a relatively new title that she hadn’t noticed before. There was ruffling on the edge, a clear sign of frequent use, and some damage to the corners. Pulling it from the shelves, she settled into the comfy armchair, her cup of tea now cool enough to drink, and began to read.

It was modern, eloquently written with intricate plot weaving from the moment she turned the first page. The front cover clearly denoted that of a romance but there was intrigue and art as well as carefully homegrown characters. Before she’d had time to digest the prose, the front door opened and closed and she blinked. The clock on the desk ticked loudly and she noticed that hours had passed without her knowing.

Placing the book back on the shelf, she decided to leave it where it was for the time being and come back for it before bed. Though the visuals she’d imagined for herself stayed with her as she stretched and went in search of Jamie.

A loud noise caught her attention and she burst out laughing as she walked into the kitchen to find him wrestling with a small lamb.

“A new friend?” She said, her shock fading quickly.

“Ah; lass, I need ye!” His words were breathless, his cheeks a vibrant pink from the exertion of keeping the lamb from darting off and wrecking the joint. “I have a challenge for you, if you’re up for it!?”