#and my grades are going very much downhill

[nervocat]

the lack of father Gallagher content is CRIMINAL PLSSS

[motherlvr]

hi:D can you do miles!42 with a reader who doesn't really like getting told "watch who ur talking to" or smth bc most fics abt miles!42 is like that and nooo i won't ever let a man say that to me😭 and they like, know how to defend themself so they're pretty independent if thats alr ofc!

ngl i loved writing this, tysm for the req!

wc: 2.1k

pairing: E-42 Miles Morales x Strong, Independent! f! reader

warnings: enemies to lovers, kind of rivalry tbh, cursing, Miles is mean in this one, but gets character development, reader knows how to fight, baddie ong, reader doesn't take miles' bs

------------

"You gotta be shitting me." Mumbling under your breath, your eye involuntarily twitched. You glared at Miles like it was his fault for putting you in this situation.

Your glare was reciprocated as he said, "I ain't happy about it either, princesa." You hated when he called you that. It rolled off his tongue with such distaste. "Yeah? Glad we got that in common then." You snipped, irritated.

Miles Gonzalo Morales was a dick. To put it kindly.

He was a stuck-up, close-minded dick. It's like his sole purpose in life was to irk you. The two of you have never been on good terms. He tested your patience every waking moment.

But unfortunately for both of you, your Spanish teacher paired you up as partners for a major project. It would count for a good portion of your grade, so not doing it wasn't an option for you. You had less than two weeks to finish the project, and you weren't going to waste it.

You'd much prefer to do the project alone. One thing you've learned is: if you want something done correctly, do it yourself. And to never put it solely in the hands of a man. But the project was a requirement for the class, so you had no place to argue about it.

Thankfully, today was just a planning day. So it wouldn't be as painful, you hoped.

You showed him a plan you had thought about within only a few minutes and asked, "Thoughts?" He took a short glance at it and told you, "That's trash." A vein almost popped out of your head. You snapped, "You got any better ideas then?"

"Yea, anythin' other than that." He told you mindlessly. You had half a mind to make his braided head become real familiar with the cold surface of his desk. Around ten minutes later, he had finally come up with something. It wasn't that great, but at least he was semi-cooperative. You took one look at his plan and decided to turn the tables on him. You said, "You couldn't have come up with anything better? Shit's worse than my idea."

You could see him grip his pencil just a bit tighter, no doubt irritated by now. "Nah, watch your mouth." He told you, and you were unsure of how serious he was being. "Watch my mouth? You needa watch how when you turn around, one of your precious braids will be gone." You said as you made a snipping motion with your fingers. He protectively grabbed onto his braids, "Yo chill, ma."

As Spanish class progressed, everything only went downhill from there. He always seemed to hate every idea you had or had something to say. He groaned, "Woman, I swear. Your ideas are shit." Your former hopes of a peaceful partnership were long gone.

His choice of words alone irked you as you replied, "See, that's what you're not gonna call me. And if we're gonna be partners, you need to act decent for once. Get it together, Morales." You set clear boundaries as you pointed a finger at him. Surprisingly, he obliged. He looked like he made a revelation as he shook his head. "Nah, you right. That was outta line." The moment was oddly tranquil until he opened his mouth again. "I meant: I swear, your ideas are fucking terrible."

From that point further, the hopes of having a normal, mature, conversation were fleeting. The majority of the class was spent bickering rather than working on the task at hand.

You were one of the very few people that tested him. You gave him a challenge, while most people wouldn't utter a single complaint.

Eventually, at the end of the class, the two of you finally landed on an idea to carry out. A true miracle.

The next week in Spanish class passed and the days were cutting it closer and closer to the deadline. But there was still much work to be done. So, begrudgingly, you both had to work on it out of school. After Spanish, you were packing up your things when you asked him, "My place or yours?" His response was immediate. "My place. I'll give you my address. Come over after school, 'ight?" He said, writing down his address and handing it to you.

You accepted it and said, "Alright. Are your parents good with me coming over?" You questioned if he even had the decency to check first. Although you couldn't stand him most of the time, you didn't want to intrude on his family. He shrugged it off, "Yeah my ma's good with it. Already told her."

He wasn't about to tell you that his mother demanded the project was done at his house so she could keep a keen eye on the both of you.

You were dreading the final bell of the day. Spending more time than legally required with Miles wasn't your ideal image of fun. As the school day ended, you walked over to Miles' house.

Knocking on the door, it was soon opened by no one other than Miles' mother. She was expecting you, as a smile adorned her face. You greeted her, "¡Hola, Señora Morales! Gracias por invitarme a tu casa." (Hi, Mrs. Morales! Thank you for inviting me to your house.)

She widened her eyes at you, "¡Claro! ¿Cómo estás?" (of course, how are you?) She asked you with a sweet smile. You replied and reciprocated a smile, "Bien, ¿usted?" (good, you?) To which she responded, "Muy bien, gracias." (very good, thank you) As you put down your things, you noticed Miles was standing only a few feet away. His mother pulled Miles to the side and whispered, "She speaks Spanish, I like her." Not wanting to give away that she was a loud whisperer, you concealed a small laugh. It's a wonder how Miles turned out like that. His mother's wonderful. You knew she raised him better.

After his mother was done speaking to him, Miles led you to his room. His mother called out, "¡Deja la puerta abierta!" (leave the door open!) "Si, mami." He said back in an unusually nice tone.

You previously believed Miles Morales was a universal dick. But you soon realized you were somewhat wrong. He was a dick. To everyone except his mother, it seemed.

As you both settled down to start working on the project, you grinned at him like you had just found out a Federal-level secret. "You're such a momma's boy." You said.

His head whipped to you like you knew something you shouldn't. "No one would believe you." He said. You teased, "Oh, everyone would. Trust."

This was the most civil conversation the both of you have ever held within your whole history of knowing Miles. The afternoon was sprinkled with light-hearted jokes here and there, and it wasn't as painful as you initially believed. Needless to say, being forcibly confined in a space with Miles went much smoother than you could've ever anticipated. The project was progressing for once. And so was your relationship with Miles.

A few days later, you were in a better mood than regular. Within the past few days, Miles has been more tolerable. Maybe even likable. Apparently, you were in too good of a mood. You must've appeared too approachable today.

As you were walking in the hallways of school to your next class, a guy you didn't recognize slung an arm around your shoulders and said, "Hey, what's good jit?" You immediately pushed his arm off. He reeked of an excessive usage of cologne. You winced at his stench. "Don't call me that." You assertively said. But he only took it as a challenge. He said with a wink, "You tryna play hard to get? Alright, I'll play along."

"I'm not 'playing hard to get'," You mocked with air quotations. Dumbing it down, you continued, "I don't want you." Could a girl make it any more obvious?

Your words went straight over his oversized head. He said with a disgusting smirk, "I can change your mind." Your face visibly grimaced at his desperate attempt, "Not even baby Jesus could change my mind."

He was starting to get agitated at this point, "Nah, why you trippin', girl?" he said. You immediately retorted, "Why can't you take a damn hint?"

"C'mon, I know you want me. Gimme a chance." He said. You were sick and tired of this interaction, so you just decided to walk away. Turning your back, you tried to escape this conversation. But he grabbed your hand to prevent you from leaving. "Aye, where you goin'?"

You tried to be patient. And where did patience get you? Nowhere. In your mind, this guy was way too testosterone-deficient to be talking tough to you. There was nothing worse than a teenage boy. More importantly, a boy that didn't know what 'no' means.

And in an instant, the sound of a slap resounded throughout the hallway.

He looked like he was about to start crying. Holding his cheek in pain, he sneered, "Fuck you, bitch. You ain't shit anyway. I ain't even want you." But as you tried to walk away once again, he placed a tight grip on your shoulder to prevent you from escaping.

Miles was skipping class and wandering in the hallways when he saw you. From your body language, he could tell you were uncomfortable. His eyes glanced toward the guy's grip on your shoulder, and Miles suddenly understood the situation. He could see where this was heading. Or at least, he believed he did. Miles was about to intervene when within the blink of an eye, you had flipped the guy on his back and onto the floor.

You told the boy on the floor, "Don't try that shit again. With me or any other woman, got it?" Groaning in agony, the guy whimpered in response, and you took it as a 'yes'.

The guy was no André the Giant, but it impressed the hell out of Miles nonetheless. Since when could you do that? He questioned himself. Miles had to prevent his jaw from dropping. He was suddenly glad he never pushed you that far. You walked away unbothered as if nothing had happened. He gained a newfound respect for you. But that would have to stay unspoken.

Once Spanish class rolled around, you realized it was the second to last day you had to finish the project, so you were working extra diligently in Spanish class. You told Miles, "Alright, I finished decorating it. What do you think?" showing him the project. Not that you cared what he thought, but it would make this whole process much easier if he wouldn't shit on your every move. You've had your daily dose of asshole for the day. Almost an overdose, really.

A few moments passed by where he stared at the project, and then back to you. Fully expecting Miles to be his usual asshole self, you said, "Spit it out. What is it?" You waved your hand in front of his face. He swatted your hand away and replied, "I ain't gonna hold you, it's a pretty solid project so far."

You raised a brow at him, and suspiciously asked, "Really?" This was the first time he didn't have any retort to say. "Yeah, I think you're great, ma." He said. You cheekily grinned at him as he tried to correct himself, "I meant, great at the project. Yeah. The project." He almost stumbled on his words. He never did that. He was always collected. What was up with him? It was definitely a sudden change, but you weren't complaining.

There was only a small portion of the project left to do by the end of the class, so Miles suggested finishing it at his house.

This time after school, the both of you walked together to his house. As you worked on the project in his room, you noticed he wasn't getting much done. It seemed like he was in his head, whatever goes on in there. As you glanced up, he locked eyes with you. You hadn't a clue what he was thinking.

You originally would've preferred to do the project yourself, but if you had to have a partner, you believed the work should be divided equally. You weren't going to carry the whole project on your back.

"Why're you slacking, Miles? Our time is limited, y'know." "Ion know. Mind's elsewhere." He shrugged. It was subtle, but you noticed his glance travel to your lips. You grinned and took the opportunity to tease, "What, you want a kiss or somethin'?" You said it mainly as a joke. Sure, maybe you liked the way he gave you a challenge everyday. You wouldn't blatantly admit it, but it was refreshing to be with someone that actually cared about their work. But much to your surprise, he ran his hand over the back of his braids and said. "Shi, maybe it would motivate me. You feel me?"

Not expecting him to agree, you said, "I mean, alright. If you get off your ass, maybe I'll give you one." You tried to say as casually as you could. But you couldn't deny the fact that you were growing fond of him. You were internally conflicted as you wanted to hate him, but couldn't. In reality, it was far from hate.

Miles couldn't exactly pinpoint the moment his detest for you faded away and was replaced with something different. An emotion he rarely felt. Seeing you singlehandedly take on a guy was only fueling it for him. He quickly started working harder on his part. You mentally praised yourself. After a few silent moments, he spoke up, "Yo, I'm basically finished."

He was bullshitting, and you knew it. As you looked at his part of the project, he still had a good chunk to finish. But you caved and moved closer to him. Holding a hand to his face, you peppered a light kiss to the corner of his mouth, just barely avoiding his mouth.

As usual, he had something to say, "Don't play, mami." He resisted the urge to press his lips to yours until they were numb. You simply smiled at him and replied, "Yeah? Keep workin' and you'll earn a real one."

Immediately, Miles got right back to working on his part of the project without another complaint. You've never seen him work so studiously.

Pleased to say, with your motivation, Miles was more productive that day than all the other days combined.

------------

taglist! please lmk if u want to be added 🫶

@l5byrinth @iamspooderman

[poppadom0912]

Excuses

Warnings: Mentions of fainting, diabetes, canon-typical injuries

Summary: You suffer the consequences just because your teacher thought you were making excuses.

A/N: First fic of 2024!!! I had plans that I was going to post weekly in the new year just like last year but things went downhill. This january and february has had its very good but also really bad moments and even writing this was a struggle. I've found myself in a weird place of wanting to write but struggling and all of a sudden not being able to balance my schoolwork and writing. So I took a lil step back to solely focus on my work but looking at everything now, my fic updates will be much less frequent but hopefully just as or if not, more fun to read.

I feel bad for not saying or posting anything since the new year but I'm here now and hopefully will be more alive. I've got lots planned for you beautiful people, several series and way too many fics in my drafts that I cannot wait for you all to read. This wasn't as long or as juicy as I intended but my brain completely failed me so I hope this is good enough. I initially wanted to post this at the beginning of March but I finished the final editing today so here you go!!

Final note before we start, I have general knowledge about diabetes but that's all from my grandma. I have no idea if it's the same for teenagers so I'm sorry for any mistakes. Happy reading!!

Your biology teacher had been on maternity for three weeks now and you were seriously contemplating life.

Because of the crappy rules surrounding maternity leave, when your teacher refused to return before her three months ended, your school had a supply teacher fill in for her till she came back.

Since day one, you knew you hated her.

It was mid lesson and you knew as soon as you started feeling sluggish that your sugar levels were dropping. Your thoughts were only confirmed when your Dexcom receiver let you know of your decreasing glucose.

This wasn't a usual occurrence. Will and Jay always made sure you had eaten enough and you had the means to maintain the needed glucose levels so that nothing happened.

Alas, you were up late revising and you were stressing about keeping up your good grades. Jay was rushing you out the door because he needed to go to a scene he'd just been called to and Will was out walking Kol and hadn't seen you leave.

In conclusion, it'd been a hot minute since you last ate something.

The school were well aware of your diabetes. It was one of the very important things your brothers stressed them about when you first started.

Most students knew about it actually, having seen your Dexcom and not understanding since a diabetic child apparently wasn't common according to them.

So, when you randomly pulled out a snack from your bag mid class, no one questioned it and instead would make sure you were okay. There'd never been a problem before in school and everyone wanted it to stay that way.

However, this new teacher, Mrs Byrne was apparently completely unaware of your medical condition.

"Y/N. You know the rules about eating in class." She said strictly, pulling away all the attention from the board onto you.

She stopped you in the middle of opening the packet of fruit gummies. You frowned, looking at her confused along with your classmates.

"I have diabetes." You said bluntly, continuing to open the packet. "I don't eat this and I'll pass out."

Mrs Byrne only rolled her eyes, smiling at you condescendingly. "I've heard that excuse hundreds of times, give those to me."

You scoffed at the audacity, refusing to hand over what was yours.

It was when she started walking towards your desk with a pep in her step that the entire class got involved. Their raised voices overlapped, some angrier than others over what was happening.

However, you too were Stubborn alike to your brothers so you kept as firm of a grip of the packet. You turned a blind eye to the anger fuelled cover teacher. You continued to smile as she spewed threats of all sorts.

Due to your frustration and annoyance over the teacher who wanted to take your gummies away, you didn't notice how everything started change; how hard it was to move your eyes and lips, your limbs getting heavier and you thoughts slowly getting muddled up.

Lost in a daze, you were no longer able to fight back when she pulled harder, successfully snatching the small packet out of your hands. It was now that the class got furious, your friends were already up and at your side but now they were verbally attacking the teacher.

Fed up with her petty behaviour, you were going to get up and go to the nurses office who would take care of you but getting out your seat was harder said than done.

With one of your friends help, you weren't too sure who was helping you from your hazy sight that cleared when you blinked too many times.

You were wobbly on your feet, taking slow and hesitant steps towards the front of the classroom but before you could leave, you felt your legs give out and everything went black.

*****

It turned out that supposed crime scene that he was imminently needed at was nothing but a prank by a bunch of college boys resulting in a grumpy Hank putting them in cuffs and having them fined for a very reasonable reason.

That's how the rest of the unit found themselves finishing up paperwork, catching up about life in general as they debated what they were getting for lunch.

Jay was smugly sitting back, eyes flickering between Kevin and Adam who were bickering over something trivial when his phone rung, catching everyone's attention.

They were all so bored and normally when one of their phones went off during work hours, it meant something came up and they were needed.

In interest, everyone turned their heads towards Jay and waited for him to tell them they got a crime scene.

Picking up his phone, Jay's brows furrowed at the number, confused as to why your school was calling him in the middle of the day. They'd only call him if two things happened: You'd gotten in trouble or you got hurt.

"Hello. Is this Y/N Halsteads brother Jay?" A voice he couldn't recognised asked, most likely some lady from the main office.

"Yeah, that's me." Jay confirmed, sitting up in preparation for whatever he was going to be told.

"So sorry to interrupt you sir but Y/N collapsed in class." The lady said with guilt laced in her words. "Your other brother didn't pick up the phone. We called to let you know we had to call the paramedics and they've taken her to Chicago Med."

"Uh yeah." Jay said, collecting his jacket and keys. "Yes, thank you."

Not waiting for a reply, Jay hung up and quickly knocked on Hank's office door frame.

"Sarge, I gotta get Y/N-"

"Go get her. We're done here."

*****

Wanting to pull his hair out, Will rubbed his eyes in frustration, glaring at his patients scans that only confused him further. He was tired and was coming to half way through his twenty four hour shift.

"Dr Halstead- Uh, Dr Rhodes in T4." Maggie stumbled, looking down at her brick and making sure she read it correctly.

"What's wrong?" Will asked, confused as to why Maggie changed her mind which she usually never did.

"It's Y/N."

Now fully awake, Will followed Connor towards the ambulance bay where you were being rolled in. You were groggily sitting up on the stretcher, you hair a mess and a few scratches around your face and hands from when you fell.

"Sylvie, what happened?" Will asked the blonde paramedic while looking you over. He desperately wanted to check you over himself but let Connor do his thing. He really did not need Ms Goodwin on his case today.

"Teachers didn't tell us much but her classmates said she collapsed after not being able to eat." Sylvie relayed the minimal information she knew, shrugging her shoulders when the two doctors looked at her weirdly. "No one would tell us anything more."

"Y/N, it's Connor. Can you hear me kid?" Connor said while pulling out his penlight. He was like another brother to you, his concern just as high. "Can you tell me what happened?"

You groaned, mumbling nonsense with your eyes screwed closed. Your words were mostly unintelligible but Will understood them mere seconds later.

Fixing the problem you complained about, Will turned down the lights and let Connor continue fussing over you.

It didn't take long to find out the cause of your collapse, Will sighing at the news when he read the numbers from your tests.

"I thought she was always on top of her sugar levels." Connor said, closing the room door so you could sleep in peace.

And what he said was completely true but they weren't aware of why you couldn't today specifically of all days.

"She is." Will said, rubbing a hand down his face in frustration. "Maybe her dexcom malfunctioned or something."

Connor hummed, agreeing with his friend.

"Hmm, maybe."

*****

Arriving at Med, Will gave Jay a detailed rundown of everything he new about your medical state but also the events pre your hospital arrival.

Getting a good look at you, holding your hand in his and kissing you on your forehead, Jay was more than happy to leave you in your oldest brothers safe hands while he got to the bottom of this entire ordeal.

He noticed Sylvie was still at Med, Foster mentioning they were running low on a few supplies so they needed some stocking up. Jay took this opportunity to interview the two paramedics and try to get further understanding on this situation that wasn't making much sense to him.

Arriving at your school, Jay had some thoughts in mind but they weren't very concrete and his confidence wasn't as strong as he'd like it to be.

Walking into the school, Jay immediately noticed an entire class sitting and standing around in the corridor waiting in front of the principals office.

One of the girls who had been sitting in a chair had caught sight of Jay, her eyes widening before she smiled, gently nudging the girl next to her and pointing in his direction. The girls reaction was the exact same.

This created a sort of domino effect as the boy next to her noticed Jay and everyone was telling the other of his sudden arrival. The once silent corridor was now beginning to fill with murmurs and whispers, all their eyes glued onto his figure that moved down the corridor, their shocked faces quickly changing into smiles and smirks.

It seems that Jay had a reputation of sorts.

"Why are you making so much noise? What did I just say about talking-"

The principal cut himself off from his scolding when he suddenly noticed Jay's presence, his face blanching as all the pieces clicked into place.

"Detective Halstead! What a surprise, we weren't expecting to see you so soon-"

This time Jay cut him off, not too bothered about his lack manners. "My brothers with Y/N at the hospital so I thought there was no other perfect time."

The principal remained silent.

"Now, why don't you explain to me why my sister fainted under your watch?"

The students behind Jay couldn't help but snicker knowingly.

[owliellder]

Two's A Crowd

College Bully! Leon Kennedy x fem! Reader

MDNI 18+

(Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5)

Description: College is proving to be a lot harder than you imagined. You cannot fail this math class. So when you've tried everything else, a well-known student is recommended to you by your professor for tutoring lessons, not really leaving you with much of a choice but to work with him.

Warnings: Not proofread, No Use of Y/N, Dub-Con, Unprotected Sex, Bullying, Yelling, Cursing

Tags: College AU, Bully! Leon, Shy! Reader, both are in their early 20's, Leon is Rude AF in the beginning, Loss of Virginity, Oral Sex, Fingering, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Additional Tags to be Added

Author's Note: Forgiveness is requested but not expected. Downhill we go!!

Cross-posted onto AO3

Chapter 3:

Over time, you grew less and less worried with Leon’s nice behavior. Your math grade has gone up significantly, surpassing a low C which is a passing grade, but since the tutor sessions have become much more bearable, you haven’t felt the need to stop going. Besides, you have an A streak to fulfill.

Your friends stayed suspicious about the frat boy’s intentions, however. The way you’d become so unbothered with everything relating to him had them stressed, yet at the end of the day, “no asshole can hold up a facade like that for this long”, as per Sky’s words.

Easygoing is the best way to describe Leon at this point. A gentle soul, from what you can tell. He goes out of his way to hold the door for you, share his food with you whenever he brings it, and he even gets excited with you whenever you get an A on any of your assignments or tests. It makes you happy that you held out for him.

“And that makes sense to you?” Leon was standing next to you, leaned over with both his hands on the table. You were both in the study room, only this time you had finished everything math related. Thanksgiving break had come and gone so everything had shifted towards the finals before Winter break, meaning now you were using the space to go over the study guide for the final given by one of your other professors, though it would’ve been nice to have your math study guide to burn into your brain since it’s your biggest struggle.

“Yeah, this is easy for me,” you mutter, hand against your mouth as your eyes move back and forth across the packet of information in front of you. Having Leon leaning over you had been commonplace since mid-November. He turned out to be very nosey. “Shouldn’t you be focusing on your own classes?”

You didn’t need to look at him to know he was extremely confused by your study guide. “Uhh.. nah,” he stood upright and slowly made his way around the table, sitting down in front of you with a small groan as he relaxed into the seat. “I’ve made it through the past couple years here without ‘em. No need for ‘em now.” You nodded to the side at his, bringing the pen you were holding up to your mouth to nibble on the end of it. “Makes sense…”

It took awhile before you noticed his nervous fidgeting, looking up from your study guide to give him a worried look. “Are you bored? I can finish up in my dorm if you-”

“Do you want to get dinner with me tonight?” He cut you off, his eyes meeting yours before the room fell silent. The question was so sudden and you weren’t expecting anything like it, so it just had you confused. You must’ve looked it, too, since he moved his eyes away from yours while crossing his arms. “I mean-.. Y’know, figured I’d ask..”

Seeing him get nervous was always pretty cute to you, such a handsome guy getting worked up over you never failed to flatter you. “Oh, yeah! I’d like that, actually..” You giggled when Leon looked back at you, soon grabbing your few supplies to put back into your backpack. 

Relief spread across his face, moving to stand as you collected your items. “Good, okay, uh.. How’s Olive Garden sound?” To the average college student, Olive Garden was some high class fine dining. Anyone would be a fool to say no to an offer like that.

Just like your friend told you not to do, the absolute biggest no-no when it came to these types of college guys, you let Leon get even closer. It was just dinner in the beginning, but you started seeing him outside of study sessions afterwards with him going out of his way to seek you out and hang out with you and you the same. “Just going out to dinner” turned into dates real fast, faster than you even had time to process. 

You’ve almost completely forgotten about just how nasty he was towards you not three months prior with how he doted on you. Leading up to finals week, Leon made sure to bring you food after noticing your long study habits. He wouldn’t even give you a choice, just a simple “whaddya feeling tonight?” over text. He’d hang out in your dorm with you while you ate, much to your roommates dismay, and sometimes he’d just show up for no reason other than to see you. You’d blush and shy away from his flirting, he’d tease you, and you’d get mad at him for distracting you in a playful way. Even if you wanted to be actually mad at him, you couldn’t, not with that cheeky little grin he’d give you.

You never questioned his nosiness as he familiarized himself with your dorm, rummaging through your drawers as you whined at him from the bed to stay out of your stuff. Honestly, you’d probably look through his stuff too if you had the chance.

Having a boyfriend during your first year of college wasn’t exactly a goal, and you don’t know if this is even a relationship or not, but you weren’t complaining. It was so nice having someone care about you like this, especially when it’s someone who’s, to you, way out of your league in almost every sense. Though he wasn’t the most outgoing, he was very well known, and being seen with him meant the attention he received was spilling onto you. Hell, you didn’t even know he played football until he passed by you with his friends, all in their football get-ups. He never bragged about any practices or games to you, maybe you should’ve asked about the various bruises and scuffs he’d show up to the study sessions with. Oh well.

Every night during finals week, Leon would take you out for dinner under the guise of “destressing from the long day”, not that you minded, of course. You were growing increasingly anxious about your last final, the big one; math. The two of you were sitting in his black Jeep Wrangler as it idled out in the parking lot of McDonald’s, snacking on what was left of your meal in a comfortable silence. The combination of the heater blowing on you and the food in your stomach was settling you, if only a little.

Leon kept his eyes on you the entire time, hand rubbing soothingly up and down your thigh. His hand was so warm. “You’ll pass, I know you will.” His soft touch barely had you cracking a smile, looking through the windshield as large snowflakes quietly fell, lit up by the streetlights surrounding the parking lot and by the headlights on his car. The snow had accumulated an inch on the ground already, the sun having set nearly two hours prior. Winter and its short days, a blessing and a curse. “I don’t know..” You could feel his eyes on you, yet yours were stuck staring out at the falling snow. “My nerves always get me. I’m gonna make the stupidest mistakes and then once the final grades are in my parents’ll wanna see and then I’ll be surrounded be disappointment and shame and guilt.”

You closed your eyes and slumped your shoulders when you felt Leon squeeze your thigh, finally able to turn and look back at him. “You know that’s not how it’s gonna go.” He let out a breathy laugh when you raised an eyebrow. “Oh come on, you’ve got it down! Plus, you had an amazing tutor~..”

With a dramatic groan, you rolled your eyes as he wiggled his eyebrows at you, unable to hide your smile. “I guess, but you weren’t that amazing..”

Leon moved his free hand and brought it up to his chest, holding it there with a strong pout to feign hurt. “You wound me.. Was I nothing to you?” His smile quickly returned when you clicked your tongue at him, chuckling through his nose. “Seriously though, I’ve never met anyone as smart as you are. You learned how to do that kind of stuff incredibly fast, so I don’t have a single doubt in my mind that you won’t demolish that final.” His compliments always left you blushing and at a loss for words, playfulness giving way to a more heavy air. “Thank you, Leon. Really, thank you...” 

You were too wrapped up in watching the snow fall through the windshield to notice when his hand pulled away from your thigh, or just how guilty he looked as he silently watched you.

The math final was easier than you were expecting. You understood basically everything that had been put on it minus a couple things that you scolded yourself for not brushing up on last minute. Grades weren’t put in until a week or more after the finals were turned in, yet you were confident enough in how it went to feel good leaving that room afterwards. 

This first semester had really tested your limits, but you were lucky to have your friends, lucky to have Leon. It didn’t feel strange having him around anymore, it felt natural, real. There weren’t enough ways to thank him for all that he did between tutoring you and taking care of you overall. 

You yelped with laughter as Sky picked you up, their arms around your midriff, waving you side to side as they yelled how proud they were of you. Ella only stood by and laughed along, making sure to take a picture of the moment as keepsakes. “Guys, I don’t even know if I passed yet!” You pushed away from Sky and they placed you back down on the ground, smoothing out your shirt which had you swatting their hands away.

“But! You survived and that’s always cause for celebration.” Ella pocketed her phone and took a couple steps forward so you were all standing in a small circle now. “You really pulled through these last few months.”

Thanks to Leon. “I did, huh?” You looked down with a bashful smile, shrugging before pulling the strap on your backpack further up so it wouldn’t slip off your shoulder. “You know,” Sky started, resting their elbow on your other shoulder while pursing their lips as they slowly turned their head to look at you, “you’re not very good at hiding your love for Leon..” 

You weren’t trying to hide it, it's just that even the vaguest thought about the man had you flustered and stumbling over your words like a fool. All you could do now was glare at your friend, who just raised their hands up in defense. “Hey now, not poking fun, just making an observation.”

Ella placed her entire hand over Sky’s face and pushed them away from you, ignoring their muffled complaints as she looked at you. “We’ll always be suspicious because we’re your friends and we care about you, but as long as you’re careful, we’ll keep our distance.”

Sky pulled Ella’s hand off their face, making gross-out noises while wiping their face off. “Blegh, anyways, yeah. Keeping our distance, but still watching from afar.” They pointed their index and middle finger from their eyes to yours before smiling.

You hung around in their dorm as Ella finished packing up her suitcase. She’s had her plane ticket back home booked for a month, constantly expressing her need to leave as soon as finals were finished during that time. Sky was leaving the same day you were, which was in two days since you both drove or were driven here. Leon stayed at his frat house all school year, so you were thankful to have two people sticking around so you weren’t left all alone.

Unfortunately, this meant you had your own packing to do. Thankfully though, your roommate had already left, sparing you from their menial chit-chat. Packing was almost cathartic in a weird way, almost as if you saw going home as a reward for working yourself to the bone at this university. Quiet music was playing from your phone as you gathered the essentials, you’d be coming back in three weeks so there wasn’t any need to pack up everything.

A gentle knock knock knock at your dorm’s door startled you from your thoughts, causing you to blink a few times to make sure it wasn’t just coming from the song that was playing. Slowly, you made your way over to the door, and before you’d even opened it fully, Leon slipped his way through, side stepping into the room with a cheeky smile. 

You scoffed as you watched him weasel his way in, hand stuttering away from the door handle to allow the heavy door to shut. “You could’ve waited until I opened the door all the way.” 

“I knocked, though.” Mischief was evident in his tone as his eyes landed on the suitcase sitting on your bed. “Getting ready to leave?”

“Not for another couple days. Just.. wanna be ready.” You walked past him over to your suitcase, continuing to fold the last few pieces of clothing you wanted to bring back home. “Perfect, got some extra time to spend with you then.” Leon chuckled, now standing next to you to watch you get back into rhythm.

Having him admit that so casually had you nervous, cheeks heating up as you glanced over at him. “Wouldn’t you rather hang out with your friends?” The eyebrow raise he gave you made you stumble as you tried to elaborate. “N-not that I don’t want to hang out with you! I just feel like you’d have more fun celebrating the end of the semester outside of a stuffy dorm.” You tried to laugh away the embarrassment, moving your focus back to the suitcase as you zipped it up.

“I can celebrate with those slobs any time, but for right now, I would really like to be around you.” Leon carefully lifted your suitcase off the bed, placing it near the door for you. “You’re nice and quiet. They’re not.” You sighed after lifting yourself up onto your bed, sitting criss-cross right in the middle while meekly smiling to yourself, watching him walk back over to stand in front of you.

“By the way,” he said, turning his head to look out your window for a split second before looking back down at you, “I haven’t had the chance to tell you how proud I am of you for coming out of that math final. I know results take awhile, but you seem pretty pleased with yourself.” He crossed his arms and bent forward a bit with a teasing smirk as he not-so-subtly looked you up and down.

You covered your face with your hands and laughed into them, a poor attempt to hide your ever increasing blush. After letting your hands fall away, you bunched the end of your hoodie up in them, fiddling with the thick fabric as you replied. “Yeah, uh.. I think I did alright.” You were going to say more, but you stopped when Leon’s hand found its way under your chin, tilting your head back so you were looking at him. “C’mon, don’t downplay this, baby. You did amazing and you know it.”

Your mind went blank at the pet name and you were finding it hard to breathe with the way his hand felt under your chin. The air in your dorm was a tad tense before, yet now it just felt heavy. Stifling. All you could do was stare up at him with wide eyes, eyebrows furrowed ever so slightly as you tried to think of something, anything to say.

“Did I catch you off guard?” He said with a breathy laugh, gently tilting your head side to side as he studied you. And you let him. Your mouth felt dry, face hot as he leaned in closer. “You’re so beautiful..” His voice dropped an octave and his eyes were lidded as they stared into yours. “So smart, so brave..” Soon his lips were brushing against yours, whispering out a final “So perfect..” before pulling you into a gentle kiss.

It didn’t take long for you to relax into the kiss, eyes fluttering shut as you tried to mimic Leon’s movements. His hands cautiously slid down to grasp at your waist while yours moved up to cup his face, pulling him closer. He slowly crawled onto the bed with you tugging him along, leaving you laying down as he hovered over the top of you, knees planted on either side of your legs while one of his arms moved up to support himself. 

He was doing his best to be careful with you, noting your nervous tremble as his right hand slid under your hoodie. “M’gonna take care of you, ‘kay?” He hummed against your sensitive skin, kissing along the underside of your jawline. You only nodded as his lips trailed down your neck, stopping when your hoodie got in his way of the rest of you. “Need you to say ‘okay’ f’me, baby.”

Nearly whining when he stopped, you nodded again a bit more vigorously this time, voice barely a whisper. “O-..Okay..” You propped yourself up slightly when Leon pulled his head away from your neck, his eyes meeting yours as both his hands were now playing with the end of your hoodie. “Y-Yeah, okay…” You repeated.

First it was your hoodie, then it was his jacket, and before you knew it, he had you in his arms, chest pressed against yours as he reached around to unclasp the hooks on your bra. You immediately brought your arms up to cover your breasts once Leon leaned back after pulling your bra off, self-consciousness suddenly settling in. “Hey hey, no need to hide from me..” He cooed, eyes raking down your body as he grabbed your hands to pull your arms away, thumbs rubbing circles onto the tops of your hands as he stared with a crooked smile. 

You took the opportunity to take in his form; muscular, a couple old scars and freckles standing out to you. He was gorgeous, through and through, no doubt about it. He took notice, craning his neck to look down at his exposed chest before looking back up at you. “Looks good, huh?” That got a small giggle out of you, at least.

He slowly guided you back down onto the bed, his hands firmly rubbing up and down your sides. “You look even better, though. Layin’ pretty beneath me~..” His right hand found its way to your panties, running his fingers along the band before trailing further down to press his middle finger against the gusset. You gasped at the feeling while he laughed quietly, leaning back a bit further to catch a glimpse of the wet spot he was feeling. “You’re soaked.. Lil’ bit of touching got you all worked up?”

Your hands flew up to hide your face again as he rubbed his finger up and down your clothed pussy, letting out small gasps and whimpers all the while. You shakily nodded, subconsciously spreading your legs further apart as he slotted himself between them. 

“Tell me something, babe.” Leon paused his movements to look up at you, huffing a chuckle through his nose when he noticed you’d covered your face. “You seem real nervous, so I’m jus’ wonderin’...” Dread settled in your stomach at his implication, you were hoping he wouldn’t ask this. “Yes..” You whispered, parting your fingers over your right eye so you could look at him. “Don’t make me say it, please…”

He hummed low in his chest, eyes darkening as they moved back down to your panties. “Juuust wonderin', is all..” His finger started to caress you over your panties again while adding a bit more pressure. “There’s no shame in being a virgin. Only means I gotta make this extra special for you~.” You moved your hands to shoot him a weak glare and he smiled in return. “Didn’t say I couldn’t say it.”

Once he felt your tremble start to dissipate, he brought his hands up and hooked his fingers on the band of your panties before slowly tugging them off, letting out a low groan as a string of slick stayed connected to the gusset from your leaking pussy. “Fuck, that’s hot..” He breathed in sharply through his teeth, taking your panties into one hand before grabbing his hoodie, stuffing them into the large pocket in the front.

Leon didn’t waste any time putting himself back between your legs, languidly dragging his middle finger up and down through your folds. He relished in your every noise, even as you tried to hold them in. “You ever finger yourself before?” He asked, voice gravelly as he repeatedly pulled his finger back to watch your slick cling to it by a string. 

“... no..” Your innocence had him groaning to himself again. He could ignore the guilt eating away at him long enough to handle you the way you needed to be handled. “Let’s give it a try then, yeah?” He hunched over some more so his face was hovering above yours, middle finger now gently circling your clenching hole.

“P-Please be careful..” You whimpered, slightly panicked at the feeling of his finger nudging your entrance, one of your hands grasping the bed sheets while the other held onto his bicep that was closest to you.  “I’ll be so careful, baby.. I promise I’ll be careful.”

And he was. What would’ve normally been a relatively quick process turned into ten minutes of Leon tenderly stretching you on his fingers. He studied your face the entire time, whispering sweet words into your ear, even letting out deep moans to encourage your own timid ones. You needed the time. There's no rush.

He moved down to pair his fingers with his mouth, tongue running through your wet folds as his fingers stroked your walls. The noises you let out when he sucked on your clit were intoxicating. You were intoxicating.

Once Leon pulled his mouth and fingers away from you, you knew what was coming. And when he paused for a moment after standing up, hands hooked in his boxers, eyebrows tightly furrowed together in thought, that only served to make you more nervous.

“..Leon?” You managed to say, propping yourself up on your elbows as you watched his shake himself out of his head. “Yeah, sorry, just… thinking about the best way to go about this. Don’t wanna scare you.”

“You-... I’m not gonna be scared..” You looked from his face down to his boxers, eyeballing where his fingers were still hooked in them. He just clicked his tongue, nodding his head to the side with a soft “if you say so”. 

As much as you didn’t want to admit it, you were scared. There wasn’t much frame of reference, but Leon was… sizeable, for lack of a better term. And it wasn’t just his size that was intimidating to you, it was the idea of sex itself. Sex has always been made out to be this big grandiose milestone by everyone around you, so now that you’re about to actually do it is giving you the same sinking feeling that public speaking does. 

“You’re scared.” Leon had pulled his boxers all the way down without you noticing, letting them lay abandoned on the floor as he took the small step back towards you. “No.” You were quick to object, eyes still glued to his dick. He chuckled and tilted your head back by your chin once more. “Yes, you are, and it’s okay. I’m not gonna kill you with it.”

“You might…” You muttered under your breath, eyes lowly making their way back down to his dick as he got back up onto the bed and in between your legs. “I promised you I’d be careful, right?” Leon grunted, his hand squeezing the base of his cock before giving it a few slow strokes. 

You swallowed dryly, pulling your eyes away and back up to meet his. “Yeah…” He nodded, giving you a wobbly smile as he teased his thumb across his tip. “Right. So don’t worry, I’ve gotcha..”

You only nodded, doing your best to keep your eyes up and focused on his face as he lubed himself with your juices. Your eyes widened once you felt him line himself up with your hole, body jerking a bit at the slight pressure.

“You gotta relax, sweetheart..” He used his freehand to stroke your thigh before pulling your right up over his shoulder, hand moving back down so his thumb could rub your clit. “Just breathe and focus on what my hand’s doin’, alright?”

The two of you were lucky that a lot the people in your dorm building left already, cause when his tip finally pushed past that ring of muscle, you let out an embarrassingly loud yelp. It hurt, but it was also such a new feeling that it simply startled you. “Okay, okay, that’s the hardest part. You did it.” You panted, hands tugging at the blankets beneath you as he stilled. “Okay…” You copied him, nodding your head once you felt you were ready for him to move.

The sting of the stretch was the hardest to get by, however it was easily masked by just how full you felt after Leon was fully sheathed inside you. So new, yet so good. 

You let out a shaky sigh, eyes closing as you rested back against the bed. Your heart was beating and your body felt hot. It was actually a nice feeling. “You- ugh.. You can move.. a little..” You breathed out, grunting softly when you felt him twitch.

“Mhm..” Leon agreed with only a hum, not trusting his mouth enough to speak. He pulled back an inch before thrusting just as slowly,  eyes darting around your face for any sign of discomfort. A minute or so of taking it slow led to deeper thrusts, following your command as you asked for “harder”, “deeper”, “faster”. All with that sweet voice that he couldn’t say no to.

You were eating away at him and you didn’t even know it; wrapped around him so perfectly, that delicious honey of yours dripping down his balls, moaning his name, looking at him with those glassy eyes, fuck. He fits you so well.

He kept his eyes closed, unable to look at you any longer. Ignoring the guilt was harder than he thought, even with him thrusting into you like he owned you. You weren’t his, he can't have you the way you want him to-

“Shit-!” He gasped, too lost in his own thoughts to notice you’d grown close until you abruptly clenched around him, sloppy cunt milking his cock. His thrusts stuttered to a stop as he buried himself deep into you, cumming with a whine of his own. Looking at the wall with bleary eyes, he furrowed his brow again, chewing on the inside of his cheek while he caught his breath.

Clarity crashed into him when you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him down into a weak hug. He needed to go, but how could he leave you like this? God, he was so fucked.

He should’ve just stayed an asshole, that would’ve kept you far away. And he should’ve never taken that stupid bet. All this for a pair of panties to wave around like a trophy.

tags:

@kayotee4 @k-fallingstar @bobastayhigh @mi-zer-y @chasingkennedy @l30nva @espressonerd @jjouki @5tarx @bunnybreadloaves @whoisgami @cyanscribe @c4b3r1a @darichvep @mmmangel @kingtacocat @klee-iii @baby--vera @dakiniii @kenma-izhu @aliidarling @leonsmamacita @deadghxsty @nekoheist @dumbassmortal @cassiecasluciluce @iovewilliams @maeplayscello @deddiemunsonsblog @paranoid-but-android @mariesmain @tteokhwaa @bonnibuckets @eilonwykennedy @1dk-anym0r3 @papatyacikcik

(few of your blogs won't work, but i really tried 😩)

[nova--michael]

How the My Little Pony Fandom ruined my mental health (long rant(/essay?))

TW: sexual themes, gore, trauma, self harm, suicidality

I will go in-depth in alot of sensitive topics, please proceed with caution

I got into My Little Pony when Season 2 aired. In 2011, I was 7 at the time, 2nd grade. English isn't my first language, I didn't even know other languages were a thing. That is until I got access to the internet. We had a family computer that I used basically daily. I mostly drew on MSPaint and played Animal Jam. I was a happy little girl at the time. Eventually, I discovered YouTube. Which became my new obsession. I consumed content like an addict. And eventually, I stumbled upon My Little Pony, where people uploaded whole episodes. The first episode I watched was "Fall Weather Friends", S1 E13. I was hooked instantly. Bright colorful Ponies! It reminded me of the Fillys I collected. So I consumed more. Was able to find a playlist with all episodes in order. The only thing is, they were in English, which I didn't understand. But I didn't care. I wanted my magical colorful ponies! So I watched it and had an overwhelmingly fun time. It was "Bridle Gossip" S1 E9 where the language just...clicked for me. I can't explain it, but it felt like I suddenly could understand almost every word and my English knowledge expanded from there. Which was a yay for me, because now I could watch my colorful Pony cartoon and actually understand what they were saying. It gave me a big heads up when we started learning English a year later in 3rd grade. I never learned English in that class, knowledge wise I already knew what I needed and was very far ahead of everyone. All thanks to My Little Pony.

But I think it is also the start of when everything went downhill for me.

I explicitly remember holding paper in front of the screen to trace the Mane 6's outfits from the episode "Suited for Success" S1 E14 with a pencil. The show made me really get into art. I drew My Little Pony left and right, and it eventually led me to DeviantArt, which I still have fond memories of. I found out that people made original characters. So I did so too. One of my first ever character was "Starshine" which I still love dearly and sketch when I'm bored. But this also led me down the Brony Fandom rabbit hole. Once I realized people made their own My Little Pony content it was over. I literally obsessed over fan content. I consumed everything that the Fandom could offer. And when I mean everything, I mean Everything.

I don't know what the first gore or nsfw content I consumed, I really do not remember. But it was ultimately this content that shaped me or....better say traumatized me that still affects me to this day.

Just like many people in the Fandom, I found out what "Cupcakes" is. A creepy, gore fanfiction that was about Pinkie Pie dismembering Rainbow Dash and turning her into Cupcakes. One of the many fan content I consumed but I remember this being one of the first experiences I had with gore. I watched the original video from ocarinaplaya. I was, I had no idea what gore was. But it was MLP, so I watched it. And this was the first straw that altered my brain. It was like a car crash, i couldn't look away. The way Pinkie tortured and cut up Rainbow Dash. And I consumed more. Smile HD, Cupcakes SFM, My Little Paradox, Pony.MOV, Lil Miss Rarity, My Little Amnesia, Elements of Insanity (that I still unironically love to this day), and so much more. You name it, I watched it. Things like Elements of Insanity and Cupcakes SFM all led me down the SFM rabbit hole. SFM = Source Filmmaker. When I see SFM models of the MLP characters now, I swear I get flashbacks. Because through SFM I found sensual MLP content. Of course, not all of SFM was sexual or gore. Some masterpieces like Doors, Fluttershys Dream, The Walk, Remembrance, Nightmare Night, all are so good.

But of course with SFM came very...sensual MLP content. Ponies kissing or Making out or even going as far as almost having sex. And something changed in my brain. I started to...actively search out these videos. Rarijack, TwiDash - Hearts and Hooves Day, Appledash, those freaking Fart and Vore videos. I watched it all. I don't know what I felt at the time, I don't remember or more so I don't want to remember. All I know is that I started to seek them out. Like actively searching for it. Which also led me to non sfm sensual content. Twilight Sparkle Pantsu, Friendship is Benefits, Concerning Pegasi, Fluttershy gets BEEPBEEPED in the Maze and infamous Banned from Equestria.

Remember I was a child. 9-10 at the time. And 99% of these videos didn't have any warnings. Nothing. And even if they had a warning 80% of those were joke warnings.

I consumed alot of My Little Pony porn and gore in my childhood. Unrestricted Internet access traumatized me to no end.

It was Banned from Equestria which had changed a lot for me. Because I found out that it was a game. An actual game you could play. And I sought it out. I played a lot of Pony games too, especially the ones on the very old Hasbro website. But Banned from Equestria was almost too easy to find. I found it on a website mainly for bad porn games. And it had a category that was purely for My Little Pony. I just went to search for it. I only needed to type "mlp porn games" and it was instantly there. 2 clicks is all that it took. Yes, the website is still up sadly. That website led me down another awful rabbit hole of My Little Pony porn games. Again, I was 10, I had no idea what porn was. Or sex. But it was this (and a separate event that happened in my family) that taught me what it was. And again, I searched for those things actively. And played those games religiously. By 10 years old I was a freaking porn addict. Not even gore (which I developed PTSD from), but Porn was the thing that caught my attention. I also learned what masturbation was thanks to that. And I did just that. I masturbated almost on the daily. Found my Mom's toys, stole them, and used them. Now, masturbation isn't a bad thing by any means. It's good to explore your body and what makes you feel good but I was just an innocent kid...

My parents never found out. My Mom eventually caught on I stole her toys but never did anything against it. Nor did she educate me. She let me do my thing. So I basically masturbated daily, sometimes more than once. What being horny was, was something I didn't even know. I only knew I wanted to do this because is saw my colorful ponies do it.

But these porn games made me spiral. I lost so much of my childhood innocence through this. I spend most of my childhood and early teen years (I started puberty when I was 9) by watching porn, playing porn, and the occasional gore. It has twisted what sex even was for me. The whole concept was ruined for me. To this day.

Throughout the next years, I learned more about porn, and went through many different rabbit holes. My Little Pony Porn, actual porn, Furry Porn, it didn't matter. If it was Porn, I consumed it.

I would also blame this addiction was the reason I became/am hypersexual.

And now, over 10 years later, what changed?

Nothing. I have grown so disgusted by Sex, it's why I'm AroAceflux now. I know. Hypersexuality and AroAce? Pick a struggle. But I'm serious. I consume a lot of Porn to this day. Masturbation had died down but it still happens occasionally. The people I follow on Patreon mainly do nsfw content. Hell, I was on Nsfw-twt a few years ago too.

Porn has ruined my whole mental state. It's scientifically proven that subjecting children to porn and gore at an early age can severely damage their development and I think I'm no exception.

My mental health has been very bad since 2016. I started to cut myself frequently and get suicidal. I still carry scars to this day and I do blame a lot on this addiction. I've been self-harm clean for about 3 years now. I was severely suicidal again in 2021 where I almost killed myself has it not been a friend calling the cops i still struggle with being suicidal to this day though, despite having finished therapy.

I also struggled with a lot of identity stuff at the time. I have it figured out now and am openly out as a trans man by a lot of people in my life. And I have an amazing support system now. But I never really had the opportunity to talk about THIS. How the My Little Pony Fandom ruined my mental health due to the content that was created, without any content warnings. I say I also developed my PTSD from this.

Obviously not just that, it was a lot of trauma family and school-wise wise that made me develop PTSD but I also will blame these types of MLP content for this as well.

Now, I love the Brony fandom. I still do. So many people I have met who are in this Fandom are so incredibly nice, but the awful stuff just stands out even more. This was an innocent kids show about colorful ponies and the magic of friendship. Many children with unrestricted internet access watched it. And watched this type of content. The Fandom should have been a lot more critical about the type of content that they post

I know I'm not the only person that was subjected to gore and porn. Many children from 2010-2017 were traumatized by this type of content. And I wouldn't be surprised if many also developed mental disorders because of it, whether it be Depression, PTSD, Hypersexuality, etc. Many of the young fans are scarred

And we still are

And we are still trying to heal as young adults

Hell, I'm turning 20 very soon, and I still struggle so hard with my mental health and the scars I got in my early childhood and early teen years.

I should've spend those years so much differently

But I didn't and know I'm left to pick up the pieces.

I hope this shines some light on the cruel side of the Brony community, I recommend Raymundo2112's video "The SINS of Bronies", it goes also in-depth about the psychological effects of children being subjected to porn and gore

Please be careful what children consume on the internet.

Now

I apologize for this length, I just wanted to talk about it

I'm open to any questions that may come up, and I'm sorry for my irl people who see this

Thank you for reading, it means alot

[bajis-wife]

Retro wave

Synopsis: Every individual has something that they are missing or lacking in their lives, whether it be a person, a purpose, or something else entirely.

Will they be able to fill those gaps and find satisfaction or a purpose, or will they be left perpetually incomplete?

And what better way to describe this journey and character development than in a fan fiction? Where they embrace life to its fullest, make mistakes and grow while hiding their true flawed tint, that lost it's meaning long ago.

Will she finally achieve her childhood dream of becoming an artist? Using their smudged and sketchy colors to paint on the canvas of her life, or will she settle for more sophisticated one's?

Will the painting in the end be enough to engrave the memories passed together?

Warnings: Swearing, explicit profanities, illegal doings, VERY LONG.

Notes: This is the full version of my story on wattpad ‘Retro wave’ until now there are only five chapters if we count the prologue too, I only want to get some feedback and attention for all the work i put in it and for the readers to enjoy it as this isn’t your usual insert self story.

The background of the character is already decided and specific although the appearance is not, so you can perfectly put yourself in it without reading Y/N or anything annoying like that.

New topic, tattoos.

Often seen by those stiff elders with a closed mindset as something bad, permanent and idiotic.

How about I give you my perspective of it?

Tattoos aren't just stupid impulsive mistakes that last forever, they are one of the best ways someone can ever express themselves with; Words are useless to describe someone compared to the feeling of your fresh virgin skin being inked, making whatever part of your body a masterpiece. Flamboyantly taking away the virginity of your flesh.

Am I romanticizing it too much? Probably, but honestly who cares when you're being paid to do what you love?

After my last customer headed out, I took a deep breath and walked into the foyer of the shop which I personally customized, from the soft lighting to the comfortable furniture.

As I sat on the couch, spreading my limbs to then relax them, breathing in and out slowly, closing my eyes, focusing on the deep dark of my mind as existential thoughts started to flow into my brain.

Out of all I focused on one only.

Am I even making a difference?

This day surely has worn me out as it brought me to thinking about something so distant when I'm still young and beautiful.

Why bother thinking about legacy? I'm here now making most of the present moment, my future isn't written yet so screw legacy. I'll deal with that later after I've had my fill of fun and adventure, so don't talk to me about it.

I'm too busy living the dream, your dream.

It's reassuring to know that in my chaotic existence I'm not living under a bridge and have a place to call home.

But even chaos is born from something or someone; And I was born from my immigrant parents in Italy, just to be sent to my home country.

What a way to start life huh?

Only a couple months old and my parents already had enough of me, sending me to my grandparents with the excuse of learning their and now apparently my mother tongue.

Jokes aside, they loved me from the bottom of their hearts.

Four years later I came back to finish the remaining two of kindergarten and finally start primary school.

But oh boy, from there my life has been a downhill roller coaster of emotions. As childhood optimism had brain washed my mind into thinking it was going to be a wonderful experience.

Not realizing that from the very first day of school I was thrown into the cage of lions.

For the first, second and third year they weren't nothing but buzzing noises in the background, as I felt drained from being in that class.

As now I was in fourth grade, and already tired of everyone there but him.

Now you might wonder who this kind soul is?

Simple, my first love.

Brown wavy locks that gently swayed every time he tilted his head, capturing my gaze with those dark brown eyes.

With that little beauty mark under his right eye, that everytime he offered me one of his sweet smiles would make my heart melt.

But the thought of seeing him every day made me push through all of that.

I could relate to thinking it was simply him and I against the world. But there's more to the story. Love is blind, as they say, and we sometimes need time to accept it, one way or another.

Certainly being served the fact that he likes another girl in our class, wasn't the best.

I felt as if the world crashed onto me.

But maybe the other girl didn't feel the same? Maybe all of this was one sided love like most of the time between kids, I could just go and ask her if she feels the same.

Simple as that.

I was relieved to find out she didn't feel the same, my burdens lightened; Not realizing that by doing this little thing to relieve myself I broke his trust.

Making him the new target of mockery in our class, as that girl couldn't keep her mouth shut.

The classroom isolated me too, labeling me as the snitch, well deserved I guess?

But what hurt me the most was him slowly distancing himself from me, it was a gradual process. Yet the most painful for me, and heartbreaking for my parents to watch their daughter suffer from it.

After finishing my fourth year, I was transferred to a different school, one where I was welcomed with open arms. Spending my last year of elementary school there, forming good friendships as I grew more confident with each day.

I learnt the fine art of blending in while also standing out in society. Once I completed my fifth year in elementary school, I started my middle school journey, confidently prepared for whatever came my way.

However, fate had other plans.

I ended up being way too overconfident, and it bit me in the butt.

The universe had a way of humbling me and remembering me nothing lasts forever, each and every time you start from zero with the help of your past experiences.

So now you ask me how would I describe those three years of middle school?

Hell.

This time I was fortunate enough to have a loyal friend who was alongside me, Anastassia.

Together we helped each other and formed a lasting bond that would only become stronger as time went on.

She was one of those friends that even you meet again after a long time, I'm talking about months and years. It felt like time stood still with her.

Anastassia made the time fly by before you knew it, and with her by my side, I felt a timeless sense of comfort and peace. Whether we spoke of distant memories or made new ones together, it was as if we had never been apart.

After we finished middle school we had to part ways, she chose to focus on studying languages while I wanted to study art.

High school offered a much-needed fresh breath of air. There people seemed too occupied with their own personal struggles to bother with my actions, which brought back my laid back confidence that mixed with the release of dopamine.

I no longer felt restricted by the confines of social expectations or the constant judgment of others, instead focused on exploring who I was, and what I wanted from life in a less constrained and more meaningful way.

In less words I stopped caring about what others thought.

This newfound sense of freedom allowed me to truly come into my own, and shaped me into who I am today.

From studying there I also got to meet two wonderful girls that today moved and live with me in San Francisco.

First I came across Lara whose light brown shoulder length locks were highlighted with buttery blond highlights. Her eyes were surrounded by thin metal square frames, which perfectly empathized their beautiful vivid hue of maroon.

Lara's aura was like a magnet for those around her, drawing people like moths to a flame. Drawing the attention of boys who lusted for her and girls who envied her, leading to gossip and telling vicious rumors about her. Yet these attempts of destruction failed, as she continued to radiate joy and positivity.

Truly looking up to her for it, wondering what her secret was.

And so, the truth was unveiled.

One day, I found her smoking cigarettes in the school bathrooms, and the habit gradually became something I expected to find her doing from then on.

I had no intention of dictating her choices.

However, I still held hope that she would make a conscious effort to stop the unhealthy coping mechanism of smoking.

But despite her habit remaining the same until this day, many things about Lara have changed over the years.

Her hair for example, her once buttery blonde locks now styled in a choppy cut, with a side-fringe and even a bold red dye job to top it off.

These changes have altered her previously bubbly image, giving her a more mature and confident flair, though it's hard to say if that is simply the result of growing up.

Her charming and bubbly personality remains as captivating as ever, and she has not lost any of the charms and magnetic personality that constantly goes in contrast with Lia's one.

The living room everyday was an area of contention, Lara's smoking habit often irritated Lia through the smell that easily flowed through the apartment, as the confined space made it difficult to avoid breathing the smoke.

Arguments between them would always end in Lara sulking in the corner, while Lia walked away fuming from anger.

I don’t blame for her intolerance towards smoking.

She was an open-minded person, but when it came to smoking, she had zero tolerance. So, it's only natural that she would be upset whenever she caught Lara smoking inside.

Anger issues weren't the only trait that characterized her.

No, not at all.

As those curls of hers kept her craziness in check, but it somewhat from time to time it managed to escape from those lips of hers, making her say the most mean and absurd statements sound true and convincing.

If her lips were mean, then her eyes shall be the sweet ones. Green and hazel hues coloured those irises, as they held such beautiful mystery and charm.

And yet they also held a glimpse of her fiery anger and held up frustration, which sometimes exploded out, turning her captivating eyes into fireflies that burned through my soul.

A mix of raw emotion and magnetic influence made her memorable and endearing, as her presence was one that was hard to forget.

Lia truly was a girl of many colors and contradictions.

Although the two women have brought their fair share of excitement and adventure into my life, there's always room for more.

If the gods offer more and more delicious fruits on the branches of life, it would be a shame not to indulge in a little more of what makes it sweet and delicious, wouldn't it?

After all, life is made interesting by new experiences and challenges we encounter, and who are we to deny more enjoyment?

Not knowing I've jinxed for good my future, for thinking like that.

As the sound of the phone alerted me about a new message.

Unfortunately not notifying me about the consequences it will bring to my unsure future.

The number was unknown, but as I read the message and realized it was from Lara, I let out a sigh as I shook my head.

I was used to her borrowing other people's phones to send me messages or call me when her iPhone died, but I still felt a slight sense of annoyance.

Constantly reminding her to change it into maybe one of some other brand, whose battery didn't die immediately after being charged.

Fuck the aesthetic. Even an eighty year old could last longer in bed than those phone batteries.

With a groan, I rose to my feet, taking the keys of the shop out of my pocket as I slid one sleeve than the other of my cardigan.

I held onto my phone in one hand while the shop keys were in the other, as I exited the door.

After the store was properly locked up, I set my sights on the parking lot where I had left my 2006 BMW M3. Talking about it, it was probably the best deal I had scored in my entire life.

Quickening my pace while searching for my keys as I neared the parking lot, making my way over to the red sports car that stood out among the other vehicles, looking like a beast ready to devour the roads with its raw power and beauty.

After finding them, I unlocked the car and sat in the driver's seat, ready to drive away.

Starting the engine as now the powerful roars could be heard, feeling the humid air come in through the slightly open window, breathing the fresh yet familiar scent of the night.

With everything set, I put the car in drive and started making my way to the exit of the parking lot.

Speeding through the freeway, with wind coming through the window making the end strands of my hair fly back as adrenaline pumped into my veins.

But it soon came to an abrupt halt as I found myself stopped at a red light.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, traffic rules were sure pesky; Still I had to follow them, while I waited for the annoying red light to become green.

As the smooth, soothing tunes of "House of balloons" by the Weekend filled my car, my mind was at ease and my soul at peace.

Enjoying myself before the storm, commonly known as Lara, could enter my car.

Talking about the devil, there she was on the other side of the road talking with someone.

A man to be precise.

They still continued conversating, as I focused on the new individual.

His shaggy butter blonde strands swept to the side and his imposing lion tattoo were hard to miss, as they commanded attention.

Shifting my gaze at the now green light, I stepped on the gas pedal and proceeded toward the roundabout, making a sharp turn as I went back to them.

Parking my car just a few feet away from them as I yawned, hitting the horn two times to let her know I was there.

With a jolt, Lara turned to my direction to then say something to her companion earning a chuckle from him, while she motioned for me to come over.

Weird, she usually doesn't involve me with her flyings—What was she trying to pull here?

Frustrated from the long day of work I just compiled with her request, exiting my car and shutting the door behind me as I approached her and the man.

I looked at them to notice the blonde's stare was on me, probably he wanted me to burn holes into my skull for interrupting his moment with Lara.

At least that's what I believed until I was in front of them as he offered me a supposed charming smile.

"Nice to finally bump into the talk of the town." He made a little dramatic pause to then add.

"The name's Madarame Shion, but you can call me sir, if you're into that kind of thing." A devilish grin spread across his face as he introduced himself, his voice dripping with sarcasm and bravado.

You only needed to hear that, to know that he was the type of man who looks better with his mouth shut.

Eyeing Lara as she looked confused about Shion's introduction, considering her words before putting on one of her best smiles and finally breaking the awkward silence, "He is just a little full of himself today, don't mind him."

Wrapping her arm around his as she tried to justify him.

"I wouldn't call it being full of myself, more like pointing out the different possibilities my little minx." He remarked with a toothy grin, only a few inches separating his face from hers.

There was clearly something between them, but no way I was letting that guy try to woo her in some way.

"Right, a little minx huh?" I interjected with a sneer as it was now time to put this guy into his place.

And I surely didn't mind doing that.

"Well, if you're going to be throwing around names, then I suppose I can call you a douche." Locking eyes with him while my lips rose into a mocking smile.

Shion seemed more amused than annoyed by my response, as if he enjoyed this back-and-forth insult exchange.

Licking his teeth to then speak "If she is my little minx... Then you shall be my little vixen." This time leaning closer to me as he was trying to control the situation, perfectly knowing how to get under someone's skin.

It was futile trying to beat him this way, as it seemingly was his best field.

This would have taken time to bring him down from that supposed throne he believes he is on, and embarrass him when he is with Lara so she would leave him, but right now i didn't have the time nor the patience to do so.

So I did what I should have done from the start.

"It's late we should get home Lara," Motioning for her to come as I gave one last glance at Shion before saying "It was shit meeting you, hopefully I won't see that ugly face anymore."

Opening the door of my car as I waited for Lara that was still hesitant to leave.

"Why can't we stay out a bit longer? I mean, it's Friday night and we don't have anything to do tomorrow..." She said trying to convince me as her voice was dripping with disappointment at the idea of returning home so early.

Still I gave her one last look as an ultimatum, and she didn't do anything but walk in my direction complying to my order, sighing like a little kid since she was in no place to argue when I was the one driving.

The only one still calm was Shion watching us intently with a smug smile on his face as he added "Oh yeah? You're pretty annoying yourself,"

Both of us were already in the car as it didn't take much before we exited the momentary spot where I parked it.

"But that's what makes you endearing. Sweetheart" He concluded talking to himself.

Leaving him there, as the speedometer raised and lowered its pointer.

The car ride was silent until I stopped at a red light taking the opportunity to look at her, so maybe she will fill in the blanks and explain what the hell I needed to interact with him.

To which she just responded with, "Do I have something on my face?" Saying this as she moved the rearview mirror towards herself to check.

I was now looking at her like she just killed my family.

"How many times have I told you that the rearview mirror isn't to check yourself out!" Examining exasperated as I tried to fix the mess she just caused, only for her to start fiddling with the car radio as she browsed through the different channels.

Finally settling down for one to then look at me as she leaned into her seat, "So what do you think about Shion?"

To which I answered.

"I'm thinking about how much weed you've smoked to even see something in him," sighing to then add.

"Lara I'm seriously thinking you have a talent to find self centered assholes."

This story continues with a man whose ambitions drove him to obsession.

Kisaki Tetta, a man who both instills fear in others and arouses hatred. Not just any ordinary criminal, but rather, one of the men who rules the darker depths of the criminal underworld of Japan, pulling the strings behind the scenes and manipulating those below him to his will.

All in order to find peace and escape his weak past self, who failed to stand-up to the cruelties of this unjust world. By any means necessary, he sought to reach the position that he currently holds.

No one could oppose him, not even her.

Tachibana Hinata, his sweetheart. The girl in which words and praises he found shelter, words that even his own mother didn't say to him if there wasn't any perfect test score that accompanied his request of appreciation.

Her kind and straight forward personality truly caught him in its embrace. Making his past self desire more kind from the young girl. She was truly his first love, or at least in his eyes she will forever be.

She had saved him mentally, and yet he was unable to save her physically that fateful afternoon when they first met their hero.

Hanagaki Takemichi, a walking wannabe defender of justice. Mock him how much you want for being beat up after making his entrance, still he was able to offer her comfort and protection when she needed it.

He truly admired his bravery and was thankful to him for saving his muse, if taking the hit instead of her was considered saving.

Then so be it!

Next time he will be the one protecting Hina.

But there wasn't a next time and there never will be. Hina didn't get into trouble, and after that day her parents enrolled her in some self defense classes.

Yet their life's took different paths after they graduated elementary school, forced to part ways by the wishes of their parents.

Still managing from time to time to cross paths when going to buy groceries, it was fascinating to think about their friendship, going from being close friends at school to distant acquaintances outside of it.

He adored those moments he got to spend with her, her voice was so smooth to get him to space out sometimes

—Life was still good for him.

Or so he thought, till the start of the second year of middle school. Hina started to space out multiple times while they talked, which was very unusual for her.

This left the young man feeling confused as he tried to make sense of her behaviour. It was like she was physically there but her head was elsewhere.

In conclusion there was something else going on beneath the surface that Kisaki was unaware of; Still it wasn't that big of a mystery as she later confessed that she and Takemichi go to the same middle school.

Until here it was all fun and games.

Fool, he shouted victory too early and as a result he was taken back to discover she had been harboring feelings for the boy since their first encounter.

Otherwise from Kisaki, Hinata was and never will be a bystander especially when she was in love, more than ready to battle for Takemichi's one.

And weeks later in a spring evening, he was welcomed not only by allergies but also with the news of her being in a romantic relationship.

With none other than the crybaby hero himself.

He should have understood it by now, nothing good in this world comes for free and lasts forever.

He could cherish them from afar and trust them to not do anything stupid, but if he didn't take matters into his own hands; He would be just a passing phase for the lives of the two lovers.

His mind was a mess as many of his beliefs became doubts, but about one thing he was certain. He wanted her, the thing he lacked for that made him fall in love with her.

What his beloved considered pure platonic friendship for him became a full time obsession, not essentially on her but also on her so-called boyfriend.

Takemichi, the admiration he had in his regards

didn't take much time to turn into resentment and disgust.

Beginning to despise everything about him; Starting from that new bleach job that he got done, making him look even more of a bigger prick than he already was.

Ruining Hina's image with his choice of joining the delinquent world like many of their peers.

Sure he remained the same brave idiot he knew, still he became nothing more than a trouble maker to the public eye.

Always wondering why girls often romanticized being in love with delinquents, fantasizing any possible love story with them.

Couldn't they be happy with a regular guy?

How could troublesome and dumb clowns like them be attractive to girls?

Maybe it was their appearance? The charisma that some of them had?

No, it became crystal clear now. It was the seek of thrill in their life.

To have someone who will protect them, go on late motorcycle rides, boys who aren't afraid of judgements.

He was just a gifted boy with an average and easy life. Waiting for his happiness.

He had nothing to offer to no-one, destiny couldn't do anything with his useless life.

This was a big mistake he had made; Waiting for people to walk right into his life, and then expect them to stay. Only one person did, Hina.

But even she could walk away like she walked in. He couldn't afford losing her.

And there he is thirteen years later. Still hasn't lost hope on having a relationship with her.

Looking through the car window, gazing upon some carefree birds flying in the afternoon sky;

The sun gave its last rays for the day, as the chilly air hit his face hinting the approaching of fall season.

How he wished to spend a peaceful evening like this with a cup of tea in his hand, enjoying the warmth of the sun while he still had the chance.

Instead he was in a car driving him to attend a meeting regarding the incompetence of his subordinate.

His appearance was absolutely flawless, with silken vanilla blond hair pulled back by a touch of old and practical gel as light danced across his blue scrutiny eyes which gazed at the horizon through the glasses he wore.

His outfit was a sharp beige suit, perfectly complemented by a tie that matched the hue of his eyes like no other combination could.

Finally entering the gates of the unique complex of coloured buildings. Tinted glass hiding the different illegal doings inside of them, prostitution being the main of course.

After all these were the Haitani headquarters.

Waiting for him in front of the main building was Hanma Shuji, his infamous right-hand man, a crazy bastard ready to do anything for some thrill and action.

His tall, lanky figure made it easy to distinguish him from the sea of people entering and exiting the structure.

Those golden irises bore sharp and fiery glares which were contoured by the lens of the glasses covering the man's eyes.

His gaze was lazy and casual as he searched for something to pique his interest, constantly moving from place to place and person to person.

Just when he spotted a familiar car pulling up, the bland expression was quickly replaced by his trademark mocking grin.

In just a split second he was standing at the curb, ready to open the door for Kisaki.

Without a moment to spare ready to greet him and show his efficiency and promptness.

Jokes on you, he just wanted to taunt him even this early in the morning by making various snarky comments.

After opening the car door, their usual dynamic began to play out.

"Kisaki! I see that you're perfectly on time and busy as ever…Wonder if you ever take a break?" Breaking the ice with a bit of light-hearted teasing, to then afterwards ask.

"What would the occasion be, if I may ask?" His boss didn't even give him a glance as he started to walk towards the entrance.

Hanma couldn't do anything but follow right behind him, this was a classic behavior Kisaki had in his regards, how could he blame him though?

He knew he was annoying and used that to his advantage, but these games weren't so effective on his superior.

Walking straight ahead to the elevator, it seemed like Kisaki was cutting in half the lobby. Which was teeming with low-ranking scantily dressed prostitutes.

To which his subordinate being the gentleman he was let his eyes wander around, like he hasn't seen this already multiple times.

Shamelessly observing his surroundings, and all of them had a good package, just saying.

And when he got to the elevator there was his boss waiting for him, spitting the most vile and hurtful words to him and his dick.

But honestly he couldn't care less of what the shorter male said, if he was alright with anything that brought him to feel the thrill.

And to top that off, what would be more satisfying than seeing the one that offered him that fall apart? As his childhood dreams shatter.

Silence filled the elevator ride, until unexpectedly the shorter one broke it.

"Has Shion updated you on his progress? Because from what I've been told, he's been wasting time smoking weed and drinking,"

'Annoyed' wasn't quite the right word to describe his attitude. Instead, he was getting fed up quickly with Shion's bullshit, I mean who wouldn't?

Despite the length of time that they'd worked together, Hanma didn't grow weary of his boss' behavior, enjoying the show whenever he could; Like it was just an ordinary day in the office for him.

Prior to dismissing the subject as unimportant, "It's not my problem that you chose someone so incompetent for such an important task."

Earning a sharp glare from his superior to then backfire.

"Oh really? Wonder who advised me to send him for it, you know what? You're right; It's my fault for listening to some worthless bastard like you."

Hanma raised his hands and casually replied, "What can I say? Guilty as charged." Accepting his guilt as a sign of amusement and carelessness, dismissing his boss concerns completely.

"Wow we got a comedian over here?" His companion said with a sarcastic tone. "You certainly seem to be enjoying this, don't you?"

He surely was.

"If you're enjoying this so much, how about you go fix his mess?" Kisaki snapped back with a sarcastic tone followed by a challenging statement, saying, "Surely you won't mind, since you find this so amusing."

By sarcastically stating that Hanma wouldn't mind, he implied that fixing the situation was his responsibility in the first place.

"Oh please, who got your panties in a twist? Why the hell should I be included in this? It's his fault man."

He very well knows how much of a selfish and reluctant individual Hanma Shuji is; loves to laugh about someone else's mistakes, but dream on to actually seeing him helping them.

"It's not for you to choose to do so, Reaper. It's an order." With these words, his superior made it clear that this was not a request but a demand that as his subordinate had to follow.

And of course his tongue-in-cheek nature had to butt in along with his nonchalant attitude, nodding his head in a gesture of mock obedience saying, "Then I shall comply with your request, my sir."

But he very well knew his and Shion's life's were at risk, which honestly added more thrill to the thing.

Then a ding concluded his last thought, indicating that they reached the top floor, letting his boss exit first to then follow right behind.

Two male figures were walking into the halls of the police station, one proceeding with his fast peace while the other tailing right behind him, trying to lose the distance between them attempting to reason with his companion on a matter this last one didn't understand.

Or let's rather say he didn't want to understand...

"Kazutora, can you be reasonable for one time? You can't decide to do things on your own, especially now that you're in an organization!" There he goes being ignored by his friend, again.

Chifuyu was concerned about Kazutora's behavior, as the latter was consumed by guilt and self-blame due to Mikey's disappearance.

It turned into casual sex in a futile attempt to escape his own guilt and the memory that haunted him.

"Let me put it in a language you can comprehend. I'm exhausted at having to deal with so much paranoia every day," With a slight turn and a sharp exhalation, he faced Chifuyu, his eyes tired as he continued.

"If we continue like this, someday that picture on that board may turn out to be our single and final memory of Mikey!" For once, he truly did understand him, lacking the desire to blame him instead he wanted to free him, just like he did when he saved him from the grip of an abusive father.

It was explicit that his friend blamed himself for Mikey's crimes, and Chifuyu couldn't reason with his stubborn ass.

"Have a nice day Matsuno." With this last statement he made his way to the stairs.

He only hoped he wouldn't do anything too reckless like he did in the past...

But he clearly underestimated his companion.

In a certain way, he was able to relate to Kazutora, as the latter was similar to his younger self of thirteen years ago.

However if he in his teenage years failed to accomplish a much simpler rescue plan, statistically talking it's not like his friend had a much bigger chance of succeeding, if not lower.

Arriving at a point where he wondered if he should drag Baji's corpse out of the grave, revive him with some kind of ritual, so he could knock some sense into Kazutora's head, first with punches and then words as he usually did back in the day.

Seriously speaking though.

The concept of a gang originated from the ambitions of Mikey but especially Baji during their childhood; As the last one idolized Shinichiro, the older brother of the first one.

Also best known as the commander of the first generation of the Black Dragon, the most powerful biker gang in Tokyo back in the 90's.

The duo harbored the desire to follow the footsteps of their idol, wishing to create a gang of their own and live out their youthful fantasies.

So when the right time came, with the help of those who would eventually be known as the core members of its creation, namely Sano Maniiro, Riyuguji Ken, Baji Keisuke, Mitsuya Takashi, Hayashida Haruki and Hanemiya Kazutora, they officially gave life to Toman.

Even if the latter ended up in juvenile detention, it didn't stop the enlargement of it.

As the gang was more than just a part time thing, as it had a cherished place in the hearts of the captains and their vices.

And three years later it was living fully its era of gold, being recognized as one of the most powerful biker gangs of Tokyo.

But with the fall and loss of Baji, one of its linchpins, it became more and more fragile as time passed, somewhat still managing to have their influence over the city.

Thanks to some scum of members doing dirty work to archive it.

One thing was known for sure by the members, if Mikey was in command with Draken alongside him everything would have gone just fine.

Not knowing that the commander lost both of his parents at the age of three, being raised by his older brother Shinichiro and grandfather Mansaku who taught him the ways of karate, from which he made a name for himself in the streets.

The Sano siblings were just like a group of bowling pins, put in line one after the other connected by bad luck.

Another individual who had a lack of luck was Kurokawa Izana, their non-blood-related relative, fruit of the love of a Filipino woman and man.

Unfortunately, after her companion died, she found herself looking after the young boy on her own. Until she crossed paths with Masaru Sano, father of Shinichiro and Manjiro.

They became lovers and were together for a brief period until she passed away as well.

But he wasn't so heartless to not take the young boy with him, taking him under his wing as he went to live with his new flame, Karen.

And at that moment, they also had an infant daughter, Emma. Who he left behind as he also made his departure to the underworld.

Not even after she just turned three, her father's last paramour abandoned her in front of the Sano household, as she took her leave, and never returned back.

While she was introduced to her half brothers, her previous one wasn't doing very well.

Unlike her he was dropped at an orphanage, left to himself.

But despite the hardships, there was still hope for Izana as Shinichiro sought after him tirelessly.

After his grandfather had a talk with him, and nominated the young boy that lived together with Emma and Karen before they all parted ways. He was determined to locate him, to hopefully make him become a new member of the family.

And he does find him, instaurating an amazing sibling bond between him and the soon to be Sano.

Making him believe in that fairy tail, where everyone gets their happy endings but the villain.

Over time Shinichiro begins to talk about Emma and Manjiro too, giving him updates and telling him their adventures hoping to fuel the curiosity and excitement of the younger boy, but no success.

One thing he did fuel though, the young albino haired boy's jealousy in the regards of Mikey.

Believing the boy was trying to separate him from Shinichiro, he refused to let another loved one get snatched away from him, as he viewed the older sano sibling as a father-like figure in his life.

Taking a firm stance against the notion of letting the boy take the only thing remaining that could fill the void that the loss of his parents had created in his life.

But either way he had to be taken away from this world to early repent for his sins.

And just like this the bowling ball had hit one of the side pins that would later take two more down with it.

Starting the countdown for the lives of the other two Sano and our one and only Kurokawa.

Second to fall was Emma, Izana following right behind her leaving Mikey now all alone.

Waiting for the ball to eventually hit him.

So yeah he became a somewhat untraceable suicidal crime boss, in flip flops.

Ok he sounds too silly if we describe him that way, but he is Mikey so being silly is —Correction was his nature.

And what better way was there for the search to continue other than staging a reunion with the past division captains of Toman?

Reviving the organization, as now it slides sides and cooperates with the law to extend the reach of effectiveness in the search.

Working together while risking our lives for a better cause, which was stopping Manjiro and making him exit from that corrupted mentality so his name won't be stained by different numerous crimes.

That was our main goal, while the police wanted Bonten to fall apart, trying to capture most of its executives and associates, slamming them into jail and leaving them to rot there.

Lunch break; And those four motherfuckers were still in the office discussing business, well actually, only two of them were seriously discussing business while the other pair had discarded their jackets, loosened up their ties and opened the first buttons of their white shirts as they were busy hugging and laughing, just being the regular obnoxious drunk duo.

Remembering embarrassing past experiences, until the alcohol would no longer make them feel it's stung on their throat.

"Do you remember that intoxicated exotic dancer who wanted to provide you with a lap dance, but accidentally slapped you with her tits in your face?" The older Haitani inquired and then added, "I have never laughed so much in my entire life, I tell you!"

This was one of the many amusing escapades that they lived through together whilst being part of the Tenjiku and later the Kantou Manji Gang.

Chuckling his pal added.

"She was worse than a bitch in heat, the impact that came with it, and the weed effect nearly sent me to the depths of Hades, no cap!" This statement earning a snort from Kisaki,

while Rindou had become accustomed to dealing with drunk imbeciles.

So this was very common for him to not say usual in his daily life.

"If you ever require a prostitute's services for your trip into the so-called land of freedom, you know who to contact. I have a few fresh faces this week, and who knows maybe they can help you enjoy it to the fullest!" Ran's face broke into a smug and happy grin, as he offered his ex comrade the opportunity to indulge in some pleasure even out of the state.

However, the younger Haitani was clearly unamused by this show of generosity. He may not have shown it explicitly, but his mind was filled to the brim with irritation.

"Hold your horses, until we don't receive the order or further instructions we can't start any new negotiations with third parties, so refrain your fantasies together for another time." Collecting his papers and putting them into a folder.

Kisaki got up after he finished his paperwork, as his presence wasn't needed anymore.

"If you excuse me gentleman. I have some other important matters to attend to, so now I'll take my leave."

Matters my ass, he just wanted to leave as soon as the meeting was over, since the next few days will be brimming with work-related responsibilities and meetings; So he needed as much rest as he could get.

He might have the brain of a genius, but a brain doesn't work if it's not taken care of.

Rindou was about to tell him to get his dog with him, but it was already too late as the other business man was already out of the door.

Leaving him with not one, but two annoying drunken pricks.

He hated his job, at first it was fun until there wasn't any thrill in his life as everything was now routine.

He very well knew that once you get in Bonten, you can't leave.

Not alive at least.

Exactly, in exchange of what they always wanted as teens, they had to give their freedom and loyalty in return. But they didn't have any other choice.

Or let's say he didn't have any voice in chapter...

Two best friends, on the balcony; Violating the now deep black color of the sky with white and gray free spirited hazes.

The smoke danced along that void which gave the buildings a defined shape, floating lazily into the darkness of it, disappearing into the night sky just as soon, almost seeming like it was absorbed by it.

While I absorbed Lara's blabbering about Shion, as nicotine gave me the patience I needed for it.

"And when our eyes locked into a curious dance, I wondered; Who could he be? What has he seen in his life to make him pick my eye?" She concluded by taking another hit from the cigarette.

"It's a waste of effort, Lara. Just by viewing him one can tell he is more of a rake than a real-life criminal or thug, whatever he claimed himself to be,"

"You should really raise your standards, for your own good." I sighed out, flicking the back of my cigarette as the ash dropped down the railing into the street.

"Is that so? Funny coming from a woman who sent nudes to her lover before they even hit their third month, I doubt you're in a position to speak about such matters of morality." She retorted, rolling her eyes dismissively.

"Really? You're picking something that happened almost a decade ago so you could counter what I have just stated?" I replied, as the tone of my voice was disappointed while my face displayed an irritated grimace.

"Il lupo cambia il pelo ma non il vizio." She shrugged, looking to the side.

"Can you please listen to me, and stop behaving as if you own the world while I'm trying to advise you?" I was now furious, dropping my cigarette on the balcony tiles, firmly stomping on it and kicking the butt out of the railing.

"This individual is not good for you, I am trying to help you not get another heartbreak, like the one you had in junior year; With a guy who by the way was seven years older than you!" Rubbing my temples while I spoke in an attempt to soothe the headache that I was starting to feel, as I added.

"You want me to remember my mistakes from the past? Fine by me, have it your way, but don't think I won't reciprocate since you're no saint either." I concluded as now I was fully annoyed, while my eyes betrayed the fury I felt towards her shitty remarks.

"You always get your way! It's honestly so annoying how you establish your argument as definitive truth, and nothing can prove them wrong in any circumstance," Lara stated, unable to suppress emotions as her voice rose to match mine, expressing the pent up frustration and the feeling inferior to me even if she was older.

"I know I'm stupid and keep making the same mistake over and over again," She declared, as if she had nothing to lose by making me see her vulnerable side.

"But it's too late as now I'm addicted to that type of person, despite the fact that they will fuck me up." As she continued to vent her feelings to me, her voice became lower and lower.

There always was a sense of beauty she saw in her circumstances, no matter how bad they were. Despite the challenges, she would always point out a hint of good and cling onto it.

Nonchalant of the consequences.

"Let's join Lia on the sofa, and enjoy the match of football. We shall discuss this another time." I exhaled deeply, trying to turn her attention to some light entertainment.

"But I haven't finished my cigarette!" Protesting, as she held the carcinogen stick between the middle and index finger of her right hand.

In no time, the cigarette was swiftly thrown over the railing, by me as it flew down to the street where it crashed on the ground; Putting an arm across Lara's shoulders, guiding her inside.

Welcomed by the triumph screams of Lia, spinning around in the air her team's scarf, as apparently gli Azzurri had scored against the Brave Blossoms.

Her joy was palpable even to the neighbor next door, as he banged his fist against the wall while cursing at us to keep it down. Reminding us that it was late, and there were other people residing on the second floor.

We did nothing but laugh to our heart content at it.

"We'll surely try, cariño~!" I shouted back in a playful tone, with a hint of flirtatiousness in my voice.

I had a soft spot for our neighbor, Mr. Garcia; The handsome Spanish teacher, who recently moved into the condo weeks prior. With his suave personality and dazzling charisma, how could one not?

His anger issues were on another level though, maybe those were the reason his wife divorced him.

But one thing I know for sure, I would have chosen Spanish instead of French in middle school if he was the teacher.

As only the idea made me caliente between my legs.

Only to be dragged back to reality by Lia as she sat us down on the couch, to then accommodate herself between me and Lara, keeping us at a short leash, so to speak.

"It would be appreciated if you kept your lustful scenarios to yourself, at least until this match finishes." Lia expressed with a tired sigh.

"Oh come on what's wrong with letting your fantasy run a little wild? Plus who wouldn't fall for a dilf like him-" I answered as Lara playfully hit my shoulder chuckling, before Lia cut us off putting both of her index finger on our lips.

"Shh shut it for now..." She whispered strictly, eyes glued onto the screen of the TV.

The camera now shifted its focus to Tommaso Allan, who had the ball passed onto him by one of his teammates. In a swift and decisive move, he rushed forward, and successfully managed to overcome an opponent who had initially blocked his path. He was in the process of searching for an ally to pass the ball to, when Kanji Shimokawa suddenly tackled him to the ground, catching him by surprise and seemingly causing him to lose the ball.

"Now that's a hunk!" Lia remarked as she viewed the slow-motion replay of the action on the screen.

Only for me and Lara to shut down her affirmation.

As the game progressed, the Italian team was in advantage, netting two more touchdowns, prompting Kanji to utter a series of curses in the meantime, his anger being quite apparent.

Takeomi glanced sideways at his companion, cigarette between his lips, taking a long drag before saying. "You worry too much buddy,"

"They are playing on their home ground, with that huge advantage I'm sure they are just being a little playful with the opposing team just to put on a show and then get serious reversing the situation."

To which the fake blonde answered with a serious demeanor, "One thing I know for sure, and that is their victory over the Azzurri. I'm not taking another loss from our national team." He stated.

To which the other male answered.

"Then try not to get any white hair from the stress, it would ruin that dye job." Taking a long drag from his cigarette as he talked to his colleague.

While their two younger superiors played pool in the background, the pink-haired freak wasn't having any bullshit from his smoke addict of an older brother.

"Can you shut that trap of yours and stop smoking like you're mourning someone!? It's so fucking annoying to smell the smoke of your cheap cigarettes!" Talking, more like spitting words as if he was speaking with the lowest scum on earth.

"Suck it up Haruchiyo, your weed is no better." He firmly stated puffing out the smoke.

"It's Sanzu to you Akashi, stop acting like we're close and playing family, we both know you suck at it." Snarling while he glared at the older male.

"Fair enough, I just thought you missed my figure as an older brother." He laughed to himself.

While his little brother scoffed at his antics, dispising him from the very bottom of his heart.

Applying some chalk on the cue stick, as he got ready to make his strike.

"You talk as if you've died, which unfortunately you didn't. Anyhow, who would miss such a parasite as you?" With a swift and precise motion hitting the little white ball, as it went rolling full speed colliding with the brown one, "The world would just lighten from such burden if you did." He concluded as the ball fell into the hole.

"Oh- come on now, you talk as if I've ruined your life, or in this case as if I was the only one that did-" Being cut off by Mochi esulting as the Brave Blossoms finally scored a point after a back and forth between the two teams.

"Take that, you pasta eating bitches!" He was aware that the Azzurri were still ahead of a point but had so much faith in his team to win, as his nationalism kicked in.

When the two charismatic figures of Bonten entered the room.

Or more like one entered while having the arm of the other on his shoulders, as he helped him walk inside.

"Ahoy there, mates! Terribly sorry to keep you all waiting, I was busy chugging down copious amounts of liquor." Stumbling forward for a couple of steps as he gripped tightly the fabric of his brother's suit, the older Haitani made his entrance.

"However, I've recovered somewhat and I'm ready to enjoy some time together with you beautiful, beautiful people!" The man drunkenly declared, while his sibling dumped him on one of the minibar stools.

"Stay put, alright? Don't do anything dumb." Putting his brother in a position where he wouldn't fall off the stool from squirming around.

"I'm not a kid anymore, Rindou. I can take care of myself, even when I'm tipsy. Seriously, don't you trust me?" He proudly stated.

"There's nothing to be so proud of, Ran." Only to be cut off by the other, "I mean, I know how to handle my booze!" As the two got into a back and forth over the situation, which only got more chaotic and interrupted Kokonoi's efforts to concentrate and get some work done.

The ladder was immediately caught by their words, as he grew annoyed by all the interruptions to his work.

"Can you stop being so loud!? I'm trying to focus and you're making it almost impossible!" He snapped, his patience quickly running out with the ruckus.

The younger Haitani was already fed up after all the bullshit he had to deal with today.

As the situation wasn't helping, and his patience was quickly running out. He was ready to explode, and this slight form of provocation pushed him over the edge.

"Screw off, dick cheese! This isn't a place for work. Stop thinking about more ways to make money when we don't need it right now, you capitalist prick!" He exclaimed not able to control his temper anymore, as now he just wanted to exit the room not wanting to completely lose it.

And he did just that leaving his drunk sibling over there with the other lad, quickly making his way to the elevator.

Ran, being the drunken flirt he is, decided to break the silence between them with a bold claim, "Don't listen to him, gorgeous. You can consider this room your workplace, and if anyone else says otherwise, let me take care of it. I'm quite the big deal around here." Clearly still drunk from the alcohol, he mistakenly thought the white haired man was a woman.

Who seemingly caught his attention so he wanted to shoot his shot and earn some chuckles from, but he only received a disgusted glare from his comrade.

"For the love of all that is holy, please just trip over a knife and leave me alone." He face palmed in utter exasperation, as just the idea of having to deal with Ran's drunken antics was just too much for him to bear. He returned to typing on his laptop, trying his best to avoid Ran and hoping he wouldn't interrupt him again.

He was wrong, Ran was right behind him, his arms draped over his shoulders as he leaned over to whisper in the other man's ear, "Oh come on, don't you like attention? Especially from such a charming man like myself." Continuing to hit on the supposed woman he believed his comrade was.

"I like respect and boundaries, don't you know personal space is a thing? Stop being a creep and keep your goddamn hands to yourself, geez." Wanting the other to get the point and leave him alone, he wasn't going to sugarcoat his words to not sound offensive.

Still the rather tipsy individual took it personally.

"Me a creep? Please, I'm a gentleman." He started, quickly retracting his hands from his companion's back.

"Is there any difference? A gentleman is just a more patient and pleasing wolf in sheep's clothing" He retorted with a roll of his eyes, not impressed by the behavior of his companion.

“Don't be a killjoy, sweet cheeks! Why waste those lovely locks if you aren't gonna put them to good use? Maybe they'll look even better with my fingers through them and you on your knees." He said with a cocky demeanor, leaning on the counter holding his head and looking dreamily at his colleague back, as if imagining the various things he wanted to do with 'her'.

Ran was high on his own fantasies of romance and sex, while Rindou was high on their own professional success.

Making his way to their boss' office to report the process of their successful deal with Kisaki, hoping that their superior, Mikey, would be pleased with that accomplishment and tell him and Kokonoi to begin making the necessary investments into their new deals.

Rindou, after stepping out of the elevator to the top floor, was met with the warm glow of the sunset as the sun was slowly setting in the horizon. Within thirty minutes, night would fully sweep over Tokyo, giving the window one last glimpse before heading to the boss' office.

Firmly stepping through the double doors, closing them behind him. He glanced up at his boss, making eye contact with the man piercing black irises.

Despite his lanky and short stature. He was the epitome of 'don't judge the book by its cover.'

As his presence was intimidating, making the executive quick mental note to keep the report short; The faster, the better.

"How did it go Haitani? Hopefully you gave a good image of Bonten." He asked even though it seemed more a threat, making the thirty year old man stand straight.

Breathing out, relaxing as he recollected his thoughts, he started to give his report about today's meeting he and his brother had with the heads of the Tenjiku criminal organization, Kisaki and his left hand man Hanma.

It was hard for Mikey to remain calm and focused while listening to Rindou talk about them, considering the men were the ones who caused the death of two of his siblings. Still, managing to stay silent and not show the frustration he felt.

With a quick hand gesture shutting the other man up, before he inquired, "Was Hanma much of a hassle during it?"

Rindou quickly shook his head, "He was knocked out shortly after Ran got him to try some of the new booze we ordered from China," he explained before adding "Just as you had told to operate."

Another hand gesture telling him to continue, as he complied with his boss' order.

“He wanted to have some other drinks so we gave him a vip pass to one fo our most known nightclubs, for later we prepared a royal suite at one of our five star hotels.”

Instead of going through all this trouble he could have shot that adrenaline freak, leaving him to die alone like a bastard in the corner of a cold and lost alley, people wouldn't even notice about his disappearance. Nobody would care honestly, not even the police.

But his boss' orders weren't optional, and Rindou would much rather follow them and tolerate the other annoying asshole for that short period of time, than suffer the wrath of Mikey's so-called 'loyal mad dog.'

As being skinned alive by him doesn't sound so appealing to no one. Whatever he has to do he will do it, and get the job done.

"He will depart to San Francisco tomorrow at 7 am sharp. At least this is what I know from the information Kisaki gave me." He concluded, fixing his tie as he awaited further instruction or questions from his superior.

After a long period of them just staring at each other as silence surrounded them, the boss moved his arm over the landline, his fingers pressing a button before speaking.

"Kokonoi, come to my office and bring Ran along with you." The boss says to the other person on the line, in a firm and clear tone.

And not even five minutes after three people enter the office out of the two requested.

"I was told there was going to be some top-notch food here," The still intoxicated individual exclaimed, ready to engage in whatever entertainment that was happening currently. However, despite this, the pink haired individual accompanying this person mentally scoffed and was annoyed by his drunken behavior.

Nevertheless, the person's sotic expression remained in front of the king that he followed, regardless of the irritation caused by the inebriated idiot.

With Kokonoi right behind them, closing the doors after entering with his laptop in one hand a dossier on top of it.

"You told me you were taking me to your hot female friends, but I see no beautiful babes, no sexy girls, just a bunch of ugly dudes in an office." Rather disappointed by the lie Kokonoi told him to get his ass moving as soon Mikey required their presence there, Sanzu wasted no time in dropping Ran on the leather couch like he was a sack of potatoes.

"My hot bitches-" was as far as the drunk individual's complaining got, because he was abruptly interrupted by Sanzu placing his hand over his mouth, trying to shut him up, only to have it licked away in the process. The other man was disgusted by the behavior of the drunk individual, and his annoyance was starting to show.

"What the hell you freak!" he exclaimed, clearly surprised and not expecting this to happen. He quickly pulled his arm back, Kokonoi offering him a handkerchief as he proceeded to walk towards Mikey.

Placing his laptop and the folder on the desk of this last one, as he began to state the analysis he made about how much would their earnings rise out of assimilating Tenjiku into Bonten, with the ultimate goal of absorbing them completely after removing the top two heads.

"What about Madarame Shion?" Sanzu questioned about the third head, Kokonoi confidently responded by saying.

"He is no threat. He's easy to bribe with some money and power, maybe be generous and add a couple of women for him too..." He paused looking at Rindou before continuing.

"But if his appetite isn't satisfied by that, two bullets can shut his mouth for good, and make him grateful that we ended his life quickly." Showing no hesitation or remorse as he made his statement, clearly not bothered by the slightest to have a guilty conscience.

As long as it serves the greater interests and goals of the criminal organization he loyally serves, fill his pockets and mouth, he will do that and much worse.

"What do you think, boss?" Sanzu looked to Mikey for an answer, waiting to make sure they were all on the same page.

Ready to follow whatever came out of his mouth.

As his boss was still contemplating the situation, thinking about the best move to make. Finally deciding to go along with the plan suggested by Koko, believing that there shouldn't be any trouble with the third head of Tenjiku as long as they had a fool-proof plan to bring the man over to their side, and if not get rid of him.

Pulling out of the folder the documents before giving it one last adjustment, as he and Rindou put their signature on them, handing them to Sanzu and Mikey so they could do the same, as they both read what the contract was about before signing too.

Officially declaring their agreement, now they just had to wait for the outcome, and ensure that everything proceeded according to plan.

"Now we have time to give this to Kisaki, while I need you to give this to Hanma as he will go overseas tomorrow morning." Kokonoi directed Rindou, sticking out with his hand a piece of paper from the folder for him to take.

In the middle of the nightclub, surrounded by the loud music and boisterous atmosphere, is a man. Average height and a lean type of build, with a face that is so charming even now when it displays nothing more than indifference.

He was familiar if not used to having ladies of the night by his side as they swayed along the music, one in particular, his favorite.

The young woman was basically a walking feast for the eyes, her figure a perfect example of what the male gaze perceives as the ultimate beauty.

As she back faced him, his hands under hers as she guided him to feel every curve he already knew of her body, as they moved along the rithm of the music.

Still failing miserably when it came to Kazutora, as his mind was elsewhere, and she was nothing more than another Saturday night for him.

And while she tried to win his attention for hours, only to see her efforts fail, something much simpler had managed to get the job done. And that was a buzz from his phone, tucked away in his jeans pockets.

Quickly making his way across the nightclub towards the bar, presumably intent on finding a way to end his night on a more positive note. However, the woman was not about to give up that easily. She followed closely behind him, trying not to loose him in the sea of people.

When he reached the bar, the man paid for his drink, before giving the woman some gas money to call an Uber. This sent the signal loud and clear that he had enough partying for the evening, and the lady was forced to accept defeat.

He needed to fully focus on the task at hand he gave himself, still he wasn't no ungrateful bastard as he bid her a swift goodbye, planting a quick kiss on her cheek as a sort of consolation.

Walking out of the club leaving her behind. Reviewing the intel his most trusted subordinate had sent him.

"Roppongi huh?"

Haitani's well known turf. Still half of their subordinates liked to say they were loyal, in reality they are just a bunch of dumb assholes that with a little money and lies you could buy.

Cracking the engine to life as soon as he got on his motorcycle, a loud roar filled the mostly empty parking lot due to the late hour.

Taking a hold of the handle bar, rubbing it to gain more speed. He then performed a half circle turn to then speed off down the wet streets of Shibuya.

The streets were empty, except for the occasional low-life thugs or wannabe gangsters. He enjoyed nights like this, as it was just him, his motorcycle, and the cool wind that brushed across his now rosy cheeks. The blonde streaks in his hair blew freely, adding even more beauty to this moment.

Taking the exit onto the highway, it started to get boring.

Until he noticed a luxurious car in the distance, it seemed to be a black Mercedes-Benz.

Surely expensive to maintain, from the looks it seemed it was brand new. Although he couldn't see the owner, unfortunately as this rich bastard had black tinted car windows. But surely he seemed to be in deep thought as he moved with a slow monotone peace.

Then an idea came to his mind.

Letting the car gain a good distance, before going at maximum speed just right beside it. The roars of the motorcycle surprised the driver that much he swerved off into another lane. Luckily, the driver hit the brakes with all his might saving the car from making an accident.

Kazutora burst into laughter, not caring about the person in the car he almost killed. According to him, it was the driver's mistake to be distracted and wandering off with their thoughts while on the highway.

And since he considered himself to be a good cop, he saw it as his duty to remind him of this simple rule.

In his style and way of doing it.

The two figures that exited the car didn't catch his attention for long, as the situation had given him enough fun for today. Turning back to focus his attention on the road and on his true goal that night —visiting one of the night clubs owned by the two charismatic brothers.

Unbeknownst to him, the ones that he almost made go astray were none other than the two brothers, and the psychopath with a pink mullet of their superior.

The younger Haitani was outraged after the incident, and furiously started shouting calling the driver of the bike all sorts of names.

"That bastard!" The man yelled, his tone raging with fury.

In spite of his subordinate's outrage, Sanzu saw comedy in the situation and couldn't help but crack up.

"Calm down, bro. This is hilarious. it almost felt like we were going to die there," His coworker said with a wicked grin, as he closed and leaned into the car door.

Rindou was now fuming with outrage as the Joker wanna be continued to go at it.

"What? It's not my fault nor his that you drive like an old lady," The individual shrugged, unconcerned.

"You sick fuck! That damned bike almost caused us to crash! I might drive like a grandma, but who does he think he is acting like a maniac on the road?!" Storming back to the car, upon reaching it he opened the car door and forcefully closed it behind him.

Sanzu stayed out of it, sighing in annoyance as he left the younger Haitani some time to cool off, before they could carry on with the task given by his king.

While all this chaos happened, Ran was in the back seat, knocked out.

And not even five minutes after they were back on the road.

The speedometer showed numbers escalating rapidly, reaching higher digits after mere seconds had passed.

Street lights pass their bright ray on the car bodywork, somewhat trying to clean it from all the shady businesses that they have used it for.

Chase Atlantic blasting from the radio, as the man with the pink mullet sang along the lyrics. Only to be interrupted by the news.

"It seems that the trend of illegal car races came back, California has been full of reports. Especially in the cities of San Diego, Los Angeles and lastly but not least San Francisco."

As the news reporter continued their broadcast, Sanzu lowered the volume as he looked at Rindou before saying.

"Seems like Shion is already at work." He snickered still looking at whom he was speaking to.

While the other guy thought nothing but how idiotic people were to follow a trend, just to be known as some sort of crappy underground superstar. Not knowing how much of a hypocrite he sounded.

He and his older brother did follow the trend of being delinquents too, but they had more style and charm than those scraps.

"San Francisco huh?" He mumbled to himself.

Rindou only knew the city thanks to the books at juvie.

Remembering it's characteristic monuments such as Alcatraz, the ruthless prison known world wide, the Golden Gate Bridge; A red and white vortex that makes you enter a colorful mix of colors and cultures, where cheap and expensive coexist.

These were the words that the author of the book chose to describe the city.

Hanma tomorrow would go there to help Shion, his old gang pal, as the mission given to him by Kisaki wasn't such an easy task.

They should be there just for a few days, just to find a good location out of the public eye, and then be back in Japan without getting noticed.

The police have been on their tails in this period of time, with the help of that damned Toman.

As they reunited the gang, this time to find and bring back Mikey and his fucked up mind. With Takemichi being none other than the leader, yes that's right a weak bitch like him is the top dog.

He was good with words, Rindou admits, but words can't bring you anywhere. Violence must accompany them, at least that's his ideal.

Still he found it hilarious how they believed that with the power of friendship they could bring back his boss, who honestly just needed to be sent to a psychiatric hospital along with his loyal mad dog that was now sitting beside him looking at his phone.

But at least they had the balls to do something he would never do, and that was going against Mikey.

As if it wasn't Sanzu hunting him down for betrayal his subconscio would take his place. Guilt tripping him of leaving Ran alone, breaking the promise they had made at each other from the very start.

He couldn't handle the type of life without anyone beside him, like he had Ran for his entire life.

So running away was, and forever will be just a fantasy.

Since we were into the topic of old friendships, two other old friends were seeing each other right now after many years.

Junpeke, a once lively individual, had become much more tame over the years. His once stylish and edgy haircut was still the same, but his spark seemed to have been lost.

And now he happened to work at one of the many clubs the Haitani owned, he was just a low ranking subordinate of theirs nothing really special.

Still Kazutora found a way to use the position of his old friend in something useful to him, otherwise he wouldn't have bothered meeting him again after all these years.

Both of them not wasting much time, walking though the dark corridors headed straight for a door that was labeled 'Staff Only'.

Once through the now closed door, they entered an area that was most likely a dressing room, as Junpeke immediately got to business, pulling a waiter suit, from the nearby closet handing them to Kazutora.

As the latter changed into them pretty quickly, taking out keys and wallet from the orher pocket of his jacket along with his phone.

"Now that i have completed everything you've asked me for, it's time for you to hold up your end of the deal," Junpeke stated, a smug smile made it's way on his face as he added.

"Give me the money, and you can go and do whatever your heart pleases with Hanma." As if he wasn't in a dangerous situation at all.

"Of course, a deal is a deal after all." Kazutora seemed used to his arrogant behavior as he searched though his jacket pockets, pulling out two rolled stash of twenty five bills worth ten thoused each.

For you folks that don't want to do math, it's basically around four thousand dollars.

Not wasting anymore time the other took it and began to count them.

"What? Don't you trust me Junpeke?" The man with long hair pulled back and tied into a low ponytail asked his former friend, however the ladder didn't respond to him.

He looked around to make sure everything was left as they found it, then both took their leave walking to the door.

Not all bad things come to harm you, and Kazutora had learned one important rule during juvenile detention, and that was; Never let anyone walk behind you, especially when doing shady business.

Of course the ex-juvenile delinquent took this opportunity, knocking his childhood friend unconscious, sending his live location to one of the police officers he had under his command, and carrying the man outside the back exit and dropping him inside a dumpster.

After successfully taking Junpeke out of the picture he went back inside the building, now walking through the corridors that brimmed with sex workers that offered him lustful gazes and sweet chuckles.

He payed them no mind, as they were only doing their job.

Entering the large underground club lounge of the hotel, he was met with a scene of chaos. Music blasted in the background, ladies dressed in vibrant colours and styles moved back and forth, forming a veritable bouquet.

Just as he was taking in the sight, his eyes scanned the various tables as they came across the man he was looking for, he was surrounded by a circle of ladies, as they stuck to him like glue or looked to get closer.

Hanma Shuji, a man with many words for him, but clown was the most fitting, as his lazy smile was exactly the same of a fool.

And Kazutora couldn't wait to wipe it off his face, as it would look better when he will shove him behind the bars.

As if by fate, a tray carrying two alcoholic drinks was suddenly placed in his hands by a waitress, confusing him for a waiter, shouting at him to bring it to the table where the infamous reaper was.

And of course after knowing that how could he not spit into the drink to top it off?

Not a smart idea to do it in the middle of the dance floor, as he was grabbed by the collar from a bulkier man with an angry expression on his face.

If you were at a club and brought a drink, only to see a waiter spitting into one of the same type that you ordered, it would certainly put some doubts in your mind about your own drink.

And since alcohol can often make one's inhibition lower and impulse control harder to manage, it's now wonder that the man got so aggressive in a quick time span with Kazutora.

"Who do you think you are, spitting into drinks like that?!" In the midst of the loud music and partying, the sound of that sudden shout got the attention of those nearby.

As the partygoers turned their gaze towards the source, witnessing the man violently shaking the 'waiter'.

This situation surely ruined the cheerful mood there was in the club, as people didn't know if the accusation was true or simply a misunderstanding.

"If you don't want to give us our money's worth, then don't bother working here at all?!" Kazutora didn't even bother defending himself, he was too busy getting his face sprayed with spit from the angry shouts of the other man.

This whole situation ruined their night, as his voice surely would give the others a headache if this continued.

But one in particular.

And that was Hanma Shuji of course.

Making his way through the crowd of people as he left all the ladies behind, and when he got there he was met with the familiar face of Kazutora.

Seeing his ex comrade getting into a heated confrontation, how could he not intervene to help him? Jokes aside he quickly made his way to the two, putting his hand on the angry customer's shoulder, before saying.

"Now now, what's with all the hoopla?" he asked with a somewhat dismissive tone, taking the situation lightly.

But this seemingly innocuous gesture seemed to spark a fire in the customer, who was now fuming with anger.

"Who do you think you are, you bastard?!" he growled at Hanma, his voice practically dripping with fury. "I'm a powerful criminal, you think you can just go and mess with me like this?" he continued, his rage growing with every word.

Hanma, however, remained unfazed and replied to the customer's threats with a lazy smile, "Or what? What are you going to do? Enlighten me," he retorted, his lazy smile remaining on his face despite the customer's rage.

"Are you challenging me?! I can take you and break you like a breadstick, you lanky beanpole!" The customer shouted, angry at Hanma's continued lack of fear and respect for him.

"You don't seem to be in the right mood, mister." He said before adding "How about you go on a little timeout and drink some water, hm-?" And that was it, the final straw.

Suddenly Kazutora was free, as the man who was gripping on his collar turned to the taller male.

"I'll kill you four eyes!" He shouted, finally snapping.

"Four eyes? Make it six, because from how drunk you are." The other one had enough, and decided to resort to physical violence. As he ran at Hanma, fist ready to punch him hard on the jaw, determined to wipe that lazy smirk off his face.

Still as we all know this was a piece of cake for the reaper, as he dodged the strike with ease. Getting under people's skin was his profession rather than being a criminal, this was routine for him.

Kicking his opponent's feet, making him trip and fall on the dirty dance floor, that from the various partying of the night was all sticky, either from drink spills or obsolete substances.

As the bouncers came and took the man on the floor, as he continued to sprout profanities at the two.

Once the chaos of the situation subsided, Kazutora understood it was his cue to leave and get out of there. His plan being ruined by some drunk bastard.

Hoping to slip away unnoticed, but he was way too positive and confident in his skills not to notice Hanma's hand on his shoulder.

"Not even a 'thanks, old friend?" The familiar voice cut through the air. Even if he was facing the other way, the ex Valhalla number three could feel his ex superior lazy smile.

"Hanma, long time no see," he said, "You've changed quite a bit, and it seems like you've acquired the habit of grabbing people by their shoulders?" He said with one of his best fake smiles he could manage to hide his irritation.

"I could say the same for you," he responded humorously, "you still look as fresh as new! Mind telling me your secret?" With a light-headed tone, he joked about his friend's transformation.

"Oh, y'know. Just grew my hair out a bit," lightly tugging some rebel strands of hair framing his face, "and eleven years of prison did their work." He playfully scoffed.

"You're as sassy as ever, huh?" Hanma replied teasingly, "How about we get some drinks and catch up on the lost time?" Wrapping his slender arm around his old comrade's shoulders, who seemed to not be interested in having to chit-chat.

Ultimately, he accepted the offer, ending it with "Why not?"

Both perfectly knew who the other was, but just for tonight they'll forget it over a few glasses of Mojito.

[ellies-little-thing]

Life goes on (e.w.) part 4

*not my images, but i edited it

My masterlist <3

pairing: young!ellie/young!reader

Warnings: fluf; reader is referred to as she/her; mentions of trauma; angst; just cute best friend stuff really; Kind of proofread, English is not my first language.

Author's notes: Hi! This was a request but im having a blast writing it! I hope you like it, I really liked writing it! Feedback is always welcome and likes and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you! Enjoy!  Only one more part to come!

word count: 7.8k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

17 years old - Part 4

A year later you were able to forget about that awkward night and go back to being normal best friends. There still was a bit of a weird atmosphere around you two but you both tried to forget about it. Ellie started to talk to a girl and she grew to like her a lot. They dated for a while. Her name was Cat and she was the one who made her tattoo on her right forearm to cover her chemical burn. She was pretty. Tall, with beautiful black hair and brown eyes, and on top of that, she was an amazing artist. You understood why Ellie liked her. You were happy for Ellie, truly. She looked happy and really in love. But you were also jealous of the time Cat took away for you and Ellie to hang out. You missed her during that time. But you started to not care as much, as the time passed. Ellie didn't seem to want to be with you as much. She started to make up excuses, stopped walking home  with you after school, stopped sitting next to you in class and with Cat instead. You started feeling alone, but a girl sat next to you after some time, she was nice to you and you started doing your projects together.

You and Ellie started to hang out 2 to 3 times a week tops, after she got into her relationship. But with time it became less, until she stopped coming to your house all together. You only saw her at school and never said more than a simple “hi” or a nod when you looked at each other. She would hang out with Cat and her group of friends, and didn't have time for you anymore. She started smoking and drinking on the weekends without the adults knowing. She seemed happy and like she was having a nice time without you. So you tried to move on, just like she did.

You too started seeing a boy your age from school, named Jesse, tall with black hair and a nice smile, but it didn't last very long. He was really nice, but he wasn't Ellie. He took you out on dates, treated you well, gave you gifts, made you feel loved, but you felt like you couldn't reciprocate the feeling even if you tried really hard. You and him stayed friends, with no hard feelings. He was a really nice person and you were glad he understood. He still made sure to see if you were doing alright from time to time. You had told him how close you and Ellie were, and he truly cared about you. He felt sad for you, because of Ellie's behavior towards you. You were glad he stayed your friend after the two months you had been together. He was your first kiss but nothing more than that.

Ellie felt like you were never going to like her like she liked you so she tried to move on. She liked Cat and Cat liked her. But Cat wasn't you. No one compares to you in Ellie's eyes. She thought her feelings for you would eventually pass but they didn't. She stopped hanging out with you because it hurt her everytime she saw you and you two pretended like nothing happened. As time passed she stopped talking to you after she met Cat. She was Ellie's first girlfriend, her first kiss and other firsts. But she wasn't a good influence for Ellie. They started getting into trouble for smoking and drinking without permission. She started to skip class some days and her grades went downhill. She tried to look confident on the outside but she was sad. She missed your voice, your laugh, your smile, the days you spent playing video games together, talking to you. But she felt like she couldn't go back, she was too far gone. And when she saw you out with Jesse, she went crazy. She felt nauseous when she saw him kissing you or simply hugging. She should be the one touching you, not him. She should be the one to kiss your lips every day, not him. The jealousy drove her insane, to the point she stopped giving Cat any attention. One day Cat got tired of it and left her. Ellie felt so alone after that, she had lost Cat, but most importantly, she had lost you. She knew she had wronged you by stopping to spend time with you, by stopping talking to you. She was so mad at herself. She started going into a depressive state after a few months.

Every night you just stared at the wall in your bedroom still covered in Ellie's sketches. You just remembered all the good times you two had shared, but now you don't even talk to each other. You can't even really say why that happened. Ellie never really talked to you about that ever. But Ellie was happy with Cat, or so you thought. You met a girl in your class named Dina at school and she was really nice. You started hanging out and talking about boys and stuff. After a few weeks you became friends, but it wasn't the same thing you had with Ellie. Dina was very funny and very pleasant to be with. She was nice to talk to and cared for you like you cared for her. When you stopped dating Jesse, him and Dina started talking and you felt really happy for them, but then again, you were left alone. They were still your friends but they didn't have much time for you anymore and you got it.

You felt sad all the time. You'd just stare at the wall behind your desk adorned with her sketches and a few polaroid photos of you two. You still had a comic book she had lent you, it was the Spider-Man one you and her had found all those years ago. You could still hear her silly voices and her laughs as you read it, time and time again. It was so much simpler back then. If you closed your eyes you could even hear the birds singing around you and see the view from that bench.

One day Ellie was in her garage, turned studio/home, and Joel went over to talk to her. She was drawing you. Again. At this point her desk was covered with your face. “Hey kiddo, you alright?” He asked after knocking gently at her door and entering. Ellie wasn't really taking care of herself very well lately. “Hi Joel, yeah, I'm fine…” She looked down at her sketch book and closed it. She then turned to Joel in her desk chair. “Well, you don't seem fine kid, you haven't been eating anything. What's going on in that head of yours?” Ellie sighed, she knew she wasn't well, but she hadn't told Joel she was into girls yet, even though he suspected it already. “I think I just miss Y/N… haven't talked to her in ages…or seen her really…”Joel knew you two were very close, you used to be inseparable. ”Why don't you try to talk to her? I bet she misses you too.” He gave her a soft smile. He remembered all those times you came over and all the laughs he heard coming from her room upstairs. He started to grow fond of you too, after all, you were his baby girl’s best and only friend for a long time. “Thanks Joel, I'll think about it.” She responded without looking at him. He knew that by the tone of her voice that she wanted to be left alone. He got up and gave her a light kiss on the forehead before they said their goodnights. 

Ellie got up from her desk and laid on her bed staring at the ceiling, thinking about you. When she tried to sleep she hugged the dino plushie you had found and gave to her on her first christmas after she arrived. It still smelled like you somehow and it helped her fall asleep. You were in your own bed looking at that one drawing she had given you as a surprise. It was almost like a picture of you, and a tear fell down your face as you fell asleep thinking of that day. You wish you could go back in time.

A few weeks passed since Cat dumped Ellie and she just missed you so much that she wanted to get into your house and hug you, but she knew she couldn't. She passed by your house everyday to get to school after all. A few months passed and you didn't have school anymore. You had finished with high grades and with honors, your parents were very proud. After that, you spent most of your time at home or completing your training for going on patrols as soon as you turned 18 and could take your final test. You tried to not think about Ellie anymore. You were starting to take down her drawings from the wall and store them into a box. But once you touched that one she spent so many hours making, you couldn't bring yourself to take it down. Next to it was a polaroid of you together smiling when you were 15. Tears started falling from your eyes as you continued to look at it. You decided to put it in the box. You couldn't bear looking at her face any longer. It hurt too much.

That year Ellie learnt what Joel had actually done in the hospital that day. She couldn't believe he took that choice from her. She could have saved the world. She wanted to save the world. She confronted Joel and asked him the truth. After he told her everything, she couldn't take it anymore. She stopped talking to Joel, ignoring his existence entirely. She entered a mental breakdown and lost herself completely. The only people that really knew the truth were her, Joel, Tommy and Maria. No one else ever knew she was immune. Not even you. As much as she wanted to tell you she couldn't. She thought she had no purpose and never felt so alone. Her worst fear. Ending up alone.

Ellie was also completing her training and her birthday was around the corner since it was June. She still remembers the 3 day trip she and Joel had made when she turned 16, so he could take her to a history museum. She remembered it with a pain in her heart, she loved Joel so much. She missed him too but wasn't able to forgive him. That day she saw loads of dinosaur fossils and knew the name of all of them, she still does. But the best part was the space shuttle and the tape Joel managed to get of a rocket ship left off. She felt like she went to the moon that day. When she came back to earth she remembered you again. Remembered everything. She woke up and was hit by reality. A reality where you and Joel were no more. And part of it was her fault, and she knew it. 

Summer was really making itself felt that day. The summer in Wyoming always had been beautiful but it was unbearably hot as well. You decided to leave the house and get some fresh air. You left with your favorite book in hand and started walking to the town's park. You were wearing a blue sundress as you sat down under a tree in the town's park and took advantage of the shade. As you sat down you started reading your book. The pages were turning yellow and faded from how many times you had read it already. 

Ellie got up from bed slowly and she sat on the edge of it, gathering the strength to actually stand up. She looked at the drawings she had made of you that were on her desk. She missed you so much that she was starting to forget your features and her sketches started to become messy and unfinished versions of you. Versions she couldn't bring herself to finish. That day she decided to go out, she hadn't left her home in ages and it was starting to get to her. Next to her sketches was Joel's guitar. She felt like smashing it to pieces but it wouldn't help with anything really. She put on some old t-shirt of hers and some shorts and went for a walk with her backpack. It was really sunny and hot outside, so she decided to go somewhere with a nice shade and relax for a bit. 

Everyone around you was so happy, kids playing and laughing, adults having a good time and relaxing. This time of year they would turn on the park's fountain so people could get a break from the heat, but it was mostly kids that used it as a pool. Ellie had had the same idea as you and noticed you sitting down from where she was sitting with her sketchpad in hand. You didn't notice her so she felt relieved and she knew you wouldn't look away from that book anytime soon. She knew it was your favorite. She started to draw you in your beautiful blue dress that hugged you just right. She almost cried when she saw you. She just missed you so much. She finally saw your face and was able to finish her drawing after so many failed attempts. She was so happy to see you, even if you didn't see her.

After about an hour she mustered the courage to get up and walk up to you and finally try to make things right. She was just wearing an oversized t-shirt with a pair of shorts and her black converse of course. You could take a lot of things from her, but those sneakers? Only over her dead body. She took a deep breath and walked over to where you were. You didn't notice her at first, you were really concentrated on your book but then you felt like someone was looking at you. As you took your nose off of your book for a second, you were greeted by Ellie. She stood in front of you. She was trying to say something  but she was really nervous. She managed to let out a “Hey” after a few seconds.

“Hi.” You said quietly, going back to your book. You didn't know how to react to this, to her. Ellie took another deep breath before she spoke again. “Can I sit with you?...” She asked, getting the feeling you were going to say no. You were a bit hurt by Ellie but you missed her a lot too. “Sure.” You said, not taking your eyes from those old worn out pages. She looked quite surprised when you actually said yes. She shook her head and came back to earth. She sat down next to you, not too close but not too far either. You waited for her to initiate the conversation.

“So… it's been a while, hum?...” She said with a trembling voice as she looked at the ground.

“Yeah, almost half a year.” You respond in a stiff tone, still looking at your book. The guilt hit her like a bullet. She felt so bad for hurting you, she just wanted things to go back to how they were before. She took another deep breath as she said, “I’m so sorry… I'm so sorry for stopping hanging out and talking to you…” She said in a soft and sad tone. You closed your book and put it to the side, still not being able to look at her. “I know I hurt you… I'm so sorry…” The tears were forming in her eyes.

After a minute or two of silence you finally spoke. “Why did you do it? Why did you stop talking to me? What did I do wrong?” You asked not in an angry voice but a sad one. Ellie didn't have any good reason for what she did and she didn't know what to say. “I thought we were friends…” You said and Ellie could feel the hurt in your voice.

“Y/N, i'm so sorry… I don't have any good reason for what I did. After that day I just felt like you didn't like me anymore…” She started to cry. “Then I met Cat and she didn't reject me. I'm not saying you did, but it was different.” You listened as she spoke. “I felt like I ruined everything after telling you how I felt…”  You thought for a second as you took in her words. “I didn't mind you getting a girlfriend, I just didnt understand why you stopped wanting to hang out.” You said fidgeting with your hands. Ellie took a minute to answer, she had to think hard about what to say next, she didn't want to hurt you more than she already did. “ I guess I felt like you didn't need me and you'd be better off without me. Every time I saw you you looked happy. Then you started seeing Jesse and I felt like I had no place in your life anymore.” You could hear how nervous she was, talking about this to you. Her hands were actually shaking.

“And how did you think I felt when you started saying no to our hang outs?” You say, starting to cry. “Everytime you said you couldn't because Cat this and Cat that… Everytime you ignored me or just pretended you didn't see me?” Ellie felt really bad for what she did to you, she hadn't realized how much she had actually hurt you. She turned to face you. “I'm sorry, I know that no matter how many times I say it it will feel like it's never enough, but I am really sorry and I regret what I did to you.” She reaches to hold your hand. You were a bit startled by her touch but you let her hold your hand. “I still feel the same about you and I'm not scared anymore to say that I love you. And it's okay if you don't feel the same way but I can't lose you. Without you I lose myself.” She spoke as she held your hand and looked at your face. You were crying, you couldn't keep it in anymore. “You never really gave me the chance to tell you how I felt, you just ran away…” You said looking up at her face. “Please don't cry, I hate to see you cry.. .” She wipes your tears away with her thumbs as she held your face. “I'll never leave you again, never push you away, never dismiss you. I'm here for you, if you'll have me…” She was being as honest as she could, she doesn't want you to be out of her life, she needs you.

“Do you promise?” You ask, looking at her still crying. “I promise. I promise I'll never leave you again.” She hugs you as she starts crying as well. You hug her back. You missed her so much. The rest of the world disappeared once she held you in her arms. After that, you sat next to each other, you leaned your head on her shoulder and she leaned her head on yours. You didn't say anything, you just enjoyed each other's presence as you held hands.

Ellie and you started hanging out together again. You were friends again. And if that was all that it was ever going to be, Ellie was okay with it, as long as she never lost you. You felt so happy with her back in your life again. You didn't feel alone anymore. You saw each other every day, and made up for lost time. You felt like you were kids again, just like when you met at 14. Ellie had never been happier. You put up those drawings of her back on your wall and it didn't hurt anymore.

A couple of months later you and Ellie were inseparable. None of you started seeing other people yet. Ellie was just happy to have you in her life again and she didn't want to think about anyone else. To her you were just as important as air to breathe for her to be able to live. But you, you always liked Ellie and those months apart only made you realize how much she really means to you. You loved her like you've never loved anyone else. It felt like you were soulmates, meant to be together. You two were still just friends but who knows what the future could hold.

It was still Summer and you two went out to have some fun. It was a particularly hot day so you and Ellie went to the river, to spend the day and cool down. You had brought food and drinks as well as towels to dry off after going in the water. It was a hot August day and Ellie was wearing a red tank top and some short shorts. You were a couple feet away from Ellie, who is sitting down on the shore of the river. The two of you had been having a good time there all afternoon but you both needed to cool down a little bit. "Hey? We should probably jump into the river now. This heat is getting pretty intense... I'm already sweating a lot here, to be honest!" Ellie says to you as you laid on your towell. You were wearing a white tank top and just your underwear since you didn't have a bathing suit or a bikini.

You get close to her and you push her into the water unexpectedly as you laugh at her shocked face. Ellie is caught off guard and she falls into the water. "Hey! You didn't tell me that you were going to do that!" Ellie splashes some water up at you. " That's it! You're going into the water too!" Ellie gets up, out of the water and walks over to you. She then grabs you by your hips and tries to push you into the water. “Hey! No!” You tried to fight her, you were both laughing. Ellie kept trying to push you into the water though.

"Come on! I want fair play! I push you into the water now like you pushed me! It's only fair!" Ellie still has a hold of your hips and she tries harder to push you into the river. She manages to push you in and she giggles as she lets go of your hips.

"Okay, fair enough. You've won!" You say defeated. "But you know what? I don't mind being pushed into the water... I've been wanting to cool off anyway…" You say trying to look smug. Ellie starts to step into the water and she smiles at you.

"Are you coming in or what? Come on! It's really nice here." You call her to get in the water already. Ellie stands in front of you in the water and you splash her. Ellie gets a little bit surprised as you splashed her. "Hey! What was that for?" Ellie looks at you curiously and you can tell that she's being a little bit playful with you. "If you're going to be mean to me, I'll be mean to you too!" Ellie chuckles and then she splashes you back.

You splash her again as she gets in the water. Ellie giggles as you splash water on her. "Hey, come on! I can play a little dirty game too then!" Ellie looks at you, as if she's trying to decide what she will do. "Oh, I got it! You don't want me to splash you... then what if I do this?" Ellie walks forward and she quickly grabs you and holds you under the water for a few seconds.

“Hey! No fair, you are way taller than me!” You say pushing her away playfully. Ellie smiles as the water drips down your shirt. "Hehe, it's true that I am way taller than you, but that's not an excuse. You should've been expecting something like that to happen." Ellie seems to be really enjoying all this roughhousing with you. "Besides, why do you even care if I get a little bit of water on you?"

Your white tank top is now all wet and see through. You didn't have a bathing suit so you were just in your top and your underwear. Ellie notices that your tank top is wet and slightly transparent now. "Oh, so that's why you cared so much..." Ellie looks at your slightly wet tank top, she can make out your nipples as you try to hide them, in a playful and teasing manner. "I'm sure that not many people would be upset if they saw you wearing a wet and slightly transparent top... it is a good look on you..."

“Stop it!” You blush as she looks at your body so you splash her again. Ellie gets slightly hit by some water as you splash her. "Okay, okay! Fair is fair. We'll call that one even for now." Ellie laughs softly and then she looks at you. "Oh no... your face is a little red. Are you getting embarrassed?" She teases you.

“No! No I'm not!” You deny it. Ellie continues to look at you, as if she's trying to prove that you're embarrassed. "Oh, but your face is still a little red... are you sure that you are not embarrassed?" Ellie seems to be enjoying teasing you about this a little bit.

“No!” You try to find an excuse. “It's just really hot today…”

"Oh, you're right. Maybe that's it... it is a really hot August day in Jackson today. The heat is starting to really get to me too... but then why do I look fine?" Ellie points out to the fact that she doesn't look very hot or bothered by the weather. "I'm not sweating or anything... I don't look like we’re in a very hot day at all... in fact, I look surprisingly great in this heat." She says smugly.

“Shut up!” You splash her again. Ellie chuckles as you splash some more water on her. "Oh, you look so cute when you're getting mad at me!" Ellie smiles warmly as you splash the water on her. "Come now... you're not even going to try to splash more water at me are you?" Ellie doesn't seem like she's annoyed by the water that you're splashing at her. In fact, she seems to be enjoying this game that you and her are playing right now.

You swim away from her a bit, she notices that you're moving away from her so she waves a little bit at you to get your attention. "Hey, where are you going? Are you leaving already? Ellie's tone is somewhat playful and she seems slightly reluctant to let you go.

“Can’t a girl swim a little?” You smile at Ellie as you swim backwards. Ellie smiles and nods at you.

"Of course, of course. You can swim as much as you want. I was being silly just then." Ellie continues to watch you as you swim away from her. "Wait... do you want me to swim with you or something?"

“If you’re not too scared! You big baby!” You tease her, knowing she doesn't like swimming that much, since she only learned it at 16 with Joel. Ellie rolls her eyes at you and she sighs. "Oh, come now,. Give me a little bit of credit, you know? I'm not that much of a big baby or scared... am I?" Ellie's tone is slightly teasing and playful as she talks to you.

“I think you are!” You say, back floating.

"Oh, really? Do you really think I'm scared? I'll show you what scared really means!"

Ellie stands up and then she swims towards you. "There, I'm not scared at all, am I? In fact, it feels really great here and I'm not going to move until you do!" Ellie laughs in a playful manner as she says this and she also seems to be daring you to get closer.

You swim up to her. Ellie smiles at you as you swim towards her. "Oh, you're joining me now? Welcome to the party. It's really nice in here!" Ellie continues to stare at you as you continue to swim towards her. She looks slightly excited that you're joining her in the river.

You splash her again playfully. Ellie laughs a bit as you splash some more water on her. "Hey, I thought you said that I was the baby!" Ellie continues staring at you and it's clear that she's really liking this little battle between the two of you, maybe a little too much. "Hey, if we're playing like this, I get a chance to splash back too!" Ellie splashes some water on you as well.

“Ellie! Stop it!” You say smiling slightly.

"But... you started it!" Ellie continues to splash water at you in a playful manner. "Come on! I thought we were playing... are you telling me that you want to stop playing?" Ellie laughs warmly as she says this. Her tone is friendly and joyful and not serious at all.

You get closer to her. Ellie smiles softly as you do. "You want to come over here? That's okay, I don't mind." Ellie glances at you and she looks slightly confused as to what your intentions might be, behind getting closer to her.

"Hey, what are you doing? Do you need something?" You smile at her as you put your hands on her shoulders looking up at her face. Ellie smiles and she looks down at you with a cheerful expression.

"Hey, what's on your mind? Is everything alright?" Ellie seems to be really enjoying your company right now. "Did you want to tell me something? Or are you just trying to... um... get closer to me?"

You look into her gorgeous green eyes. Ellie stares back at you as she looks into yours for a few moments. "Umm... is... there something that you want to tell me? Or is this something for me to figure out right now?" Ellie smiles softly and she's trying to figure out why you're getting so close to her.

You smile at her playfully. “guess…” You tell her almost in a whisper. Ellie continues to stare back at you as she thinks about what you're trying to say to her. "Umm... is it something about... um... feelings... or... umm..." Ellie seems to be struggling slightly, but she still has a smile on her face. "Are... are you asking if I... umm..."

You put your arms around her neck, but you start getting nervous. Ellie blushes as you wrap your arms around her. "Hey, Y/N?” Ellie is also starting to look a little bit nervous and she doesn't quite know what to say. "Wha... what... um..." Ellie is trying to figure out the right thing to say in this situation.

You just look up at her, blushing. Ellie stares back at you as you continue to look at her. "I... umm..." Ellie sighs and she looks a little puzzled as she tries to figure out a response. "Is there something that you... um... w-want to tell me?" Ellie is fumbling for words and her tone is very nervous and her voice cracks a little bit.

You hold her face with one of your hands. Ellie's face turns a deep shade of red when you grab it and she feels a rush of emotions traveling through her. "Wha, what are you... umm... what... What are you doing...? Wait, what do you want to tell me?" Ellie seems to be both nervous and excited as she looks at you.

You slowly get your face closer to hers, a bit nervous still. Ellie's heart is pounding and she's shaking slightly. She seems really nervous, but she still really likes this moment that she's sharing with you. "I... um... I..." Ellie is speechless and she just looks at you as you draw closer to her face.

You look straight into her eyes. Ellie stares back at you as you come closer and she can feel your warm breath on her face. "I... umm..." Ellie can no longer muster any words and her heart is beating really fast and her body temperature seems to be rising. You get closer, only centimeters away from her. Ellie is burning hot as you get closer to her face. Her body temperature seems to still be rising and her eyes are locked on yours. "Y/N..." Ellie's voice is soft and she looks like she's about to say something but she's struggling to express it in words.

You blush as you get even closer, biting your lower lip. Ellie's voice is now barely audible. She seems to be blushing a lot and she can't believe that this is happening right now. "Y... y... y... Y/N..." Ellie tries to say her words, but they're now completely lost as tears begin to flow down her cheeks. She covers her face with her hands and her knees go weak. "I... I..."

You back away after seeing her tears. “I'm sorry... are you okay? Did I do something wrong?” You look at her worried. Ellie wipes the tears off of her face and she tries to say something, but she can't seem to speak right now.

"Y/N, I... I..." Ellie takes a deep breath and she looks at you with a tearful smile and a blush on her face. "I always kind of guessed... I knew... I always thought that this might happen... but I never knew when it would... and... umm..." Ellie's sentences are still being broken off, but it's clear that she has something important to say.

You look up at her and wipe her tears away from her face with a warm smile on yours. Ellie stares back at you for a moment as she gathers herself. Her smile continues to remain on her face and her eyes are filled with happy tears as you wipe them away. "Y/N, I... love you... do you hear me?" Ellie sighs and she still can't believe that these words are finally coming out of her mouth. "I've... loved you... for quite a while now... and I never knew what to say... but now I have to say it, you have to hear it... you have to know... I love you,Y/N."

You look at her not knowing what to say. You get closer to her again slowly. Ellie doesn't back away from you as you approach her this time. "You're not scaring me anymore with all of this... in fact, you're making me feel very happy." Ellie smiles warmly at you and the corners of her lips feel the slightest bit tingly.  "I... love you... and I always will..."

You kiss her gently and the whole world disappears. Ellie's face goes red and her cheeks are flushed right away as your lips touch hers. "I... I..." Ellie can't manage to say anything else. She just stares at you and she seems slightly shocked by the kiss. Her breath is getting short and she's smiling brightly and the corners of her lips are still tingly.

"I... umm... I love you... I've always loved you. I... I just didn't know when to tell you... and I always thought that there was some other time to... to..."

You smile at her and kiss her again. After finally having the guts to do it, to finally kiss her, you just want to keep doing it. Ellie's face remains in a bright shade of red and she's still smiling lovingly, back at you. "Y/N... I... umm..." Ellie's breath is still short as she looks at you. "I want to kiss you... I want to kiss you again..." Ellie leans forward toward you and you can feel that her lips are trembling as they're about to touch yours again.

You wrap your arms around her neck and kiss her again. Ellie's face turns even more red and her breath is still short as your arms wrap around her. You can feel the joy and love in her body as you kiss her. Ellie's hands reach up towards you and she wraps them around your waist, holding you close and pulling you tighter towards her body.

You wrap your legs around her hips as you were in the water together. Ellie's body is now really close to yours and she can feel you against her. She always wanted to do this, to feel your body against hers like this. Ellie's face is still a bright shade of red as you wrap your legs around her. Her voice becomes very faint as she speaks again.

"you're... umm... do you know how beautiful you are...? You're gorgeous... I've always wanted to say this to you... but I was always a little bit scared..." Ellie keeps your legs tightly wrapped around her.

“You think I'm beautiful?...” You look up at her as she says this. Ellie continues to hold you tightly and she nods slowly. "Mmm... yes, yes I do. The most beautiful girl I've ever seen... and the most lovely girl I've ever known." Ellie's voice is still very soft and you can feel her body temperature rising again. "I need to tell you something... I..."

“Yes?” You say blushing even more.

"I... I love... you…" Ellie's voice is still soft and her breath is a bit shaky as she says these words. "I love you so much, Y/N... you don't know how much you mean to me..." Ellie then gently strokes the side of your face with her hand as you continue to hold your legs wrapped around her. "You're so precious to me... and I'm so glad that... that I met you... and that you are... are... mine..."

“i... I love you too.... I just never knew how or when to say it…” You confess, but not being able to look into her eyes. Ellie smiles warmly at you and your words warm her heart.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to hear those words... I've always wanted to tell you, but I never knew how to say those words either." Ellie then kisses your cheek and as she pulls away slightly, she smiles at you as she touches your face gently again. "The way that you make me feel... I can't really describe it... it's like... like a warm feeling in my heart... and a rush of happiness..."

You hug her. You can't believe this is real. Ellie hugs you tightly back and she can feel your arms around her waist. "I... I've always loved you. but... but I never thought you'd ever feel the same way..."

Ellie closes her eyes and smiles brightly as she continues to embrace you. "I've always wanted to say those words to you... but I was always terrified of how you'd react... but right now... I don't care at all... because right now, I just think that... that you're the most beautiful girl in the whole world..."

You look at her and smile shyly. Ellie looks and smiles brightly back at you. "You look... you look so beautiful when you're smiling like that.. oh my god... I just... I just want to kiss your cheeks… look what you've done to me..." Ellie reaches towards your face and her fingers go to your cheeks.

"You're... you're too... sweet. You're too sweet. You're going to give me diabetes..." Ellie laughs softly.

You chuckle at her joke, she still has her same sense of humor, then you reach up to kiss her. Ellie leans her head down a little bit as she feels your lips on hers again. "I love... I love..." Ellie pauses and it seems like she's trying to tell you something else, but her words keep getting cut off by your kisses. "I... love... I... I..." Ellie's words are completely lost right now as she gets caught up in the moment and she closes her eyes as she focuses all of her attention on your lips.

You kiss for a bit, bodies close to each other. Ellie's hands wrap around your waist as tight as she can. She continues to kiss you passionately for another few seconds and then she eventually pulls away with a smile.

"Y/N..." Ellie takes in a deep breath and she smiles lovingly at you as her cheeks are still a bright shade of red. "I..." Ellie can't muster anymore words, but she still looks really happy right now.

You break the kiss and catch your breaths. Ellie's arms are still wrapped around your waist and you can feel your bodies close, your hearts still racing and your breathing still a bit short.

Ellie looks at you with a smile and then she speaks again. "Oh my god... ." Ellie laughs and covers her face with her hands for a moment. "Oh my god... oh my god... I..." Ellie still seems to be speechless for a few more seconds.

“What's wrong?” You ask her, taking her hands off her face.

Ellie takes in a deep breath and she smiles warmly at you. "Oh, nothing. Nothing's wrong at all. I... umm... I just didn't realize that you... umm... loved me so much. I'm... I'm just really happy right now." Ellie's face goes back to being a bright shade of red again as she stares at you. You hug her tightly. Ellie smiles again and she returns the hug tightly as well.

"Y/N, do you... ummmm... is... umm... do you really love...? Do you... really love me?" Ellie's voice is now very quiet and soft. "I hope I don't seem desperate, but you make me feel... umm... incredibly happy. I just want to hear those words one more time..."

“I do.. i have for a while, i just din't know how to say it, i didn't want it to ruin our friendship.” You say, a bit embarrassed.

Ellie can't hide how happy she is when you say those words to her. She twirls with you in the water holding you tight and she smiles warmly at you again. "I feel the same way... I think I've always loved you... but I didn't know how to say it either. I was always afraid that it was going to... umm... ruin the amazing relationship we already had..." Ellie's breath is still a bit short and her voice is still quiet and soft as she talks.

"But now... I think I know... how to say it..." You look up into her eyes. Ellie stares back at you as you look into her eyes. "Look... I'll make it simple. I... I love you. I love you a lot..." Ellie's voice is still soft and the corners of her lips are slightly tingly as she stares at you with a smile. "I... I always have and I think that... I always will..."

“I love you too, Ells…” You say smiling shyly. “More than you can imagine…” Ellie smiles lovingly at you and there's a little bit of a blush on her cheeks. She can barely contain how happy she is right now and she feels completely relieved about finally knowing how you feel. "I... I love you so much... and I think that... I always will..." Ellie looks back into your eyes as she says these words and she leans her body in closer towards you.

You two kiss again. She starts to kiss you softly as your bodies are getting closer. A slight sigh leaves her mouth and you can feel her body temperature rising again. She wraps her arms around you and you can feel her fingers playing with the back of your head and your hair as she kisses you passionately. It feels so amazing. You can't believe that it is real. It feels like a dream. A beautiful dream.

A couple of months later you were walking through town holding hands. Ellie and you have been together for a few months now and your relationship has become much more intense. Your love has grown stronger and your commitment is deeper. Ellie looks up at you as she holds your hand and you can see how happy she is.

"I can't believe what these last few months have been like... it's like... it's like I've found a true friend and... and she also turns out to be the love of my life. I could never ask for anything better..." Ellie says with a smile from ear to ear.

“I love you too, Ells.” You say looking into her eyes. Ellie smiles warmly at you as you say those words to her. "I love you too... I love you a lot... you're so precious... and I'm so happy to have you in my life..."

Ellie wraps her arms around you tightly and she lets go of your hand. "I... I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for you... I don't know what I would do if... if..."

“If what? Are you okay?” You ask, a bit concerned.

Ellie looks into your eyes and she nods her head. "I'm... I'm fine, it's just... you know what I said earlier... where I'd be if it wasn't for you? I can't imagine my life without you right now." Ellie looks back at you and smiles warmly again. "I... umm... I just... I just want you to... I want you to always stay by my side, will you do that for me?"

“I don't plan on ever leaving you.” You caress her face gently as she holds you still.

Ellie nods at you and she keeps hold of you. "I don't plan on ever leaving you either, you've... you've made the past few months so great for me..." Ellie smiles at you and her eyes are sparkling happily.

"I honestly couldn't ask for anyone better to be my girlfriend..." Ellie takes in a deep breath and she hugs you again, your bodies still close to each other. "I... I don't know how I got so lucky to have you..."

You walk by the swings where you two met, once more, almost four years ago now. You look at each other knowing exactly what the other is thinking and sit down together as you start to swing. It was October, just like when you saw her for the first time. The sun was shining, the breeze blew through your hair and the sun hit Ellie's face perfectly. You've never been able to forget her eyes since that day. They were still as beautiful as if not more. She was the most beautiful girl in the world to you.

[thislovintime]

Peter’s application picture to Carleton College, 1959 (courtesy of Carleton College Archives).

“When I was in junior high school, I was a punk. I wanted people to love and admire me for my gentle wit, my talented music-making and my beauty of personality. Instead I was loathsome and irritating and quarrelsome and I didn’t know why people didn’t like me. But I began to think and meditate on it. Meditation is the only way the personality can be improved, and gradually I began to work things out and better myself. I like to give someone as many ‘different sheets of music paper’ as I can — behave differently toward him each time I see him. That is the only way someone can know what the real me is like. You can’t know the real me by only talking to me. I believe that you can tell more about people by the way they looking walking away from you than you can by what they say.” - Peter Tork, Seventeen, August 1967 (x)

“‘All of my early life was spent feeling out of whack. Physically I matured late and never was very athletic and always found myself on the short end of the stick. I was raised in a liberal family in the middle of the McCarthy era.’ Against those odds, Tork inevitably developed an inferiority complex that he carried into adulthood and his musical career. When he became one of four young men chosen out of 437 applicants to become what were supposed to be the ‘American Beatles,’ his self-doubt grew to mammoth proportions. ‘Half of the time I would think I didn’t deserve it and the other half I would think I was God’s gift to the children. I got my head turned around. It was the “arrogant doormat” syndrome low self-esteem combined with arrogance.’” - The Daily Oklahoman, November 7, 1983 (x)

“‘My life between then [moving from Wisconsin to Connecticut] and my senior year of high school was a total disaster,’ says Peter. ‘In fifth grade I started going downhill because I was unhappy. I was constantly trying to make friends and trying to be funny but never succeeding because I was so much younger. I did have a small circle of friends but that was at home, it didn’t have much to do with school.’ […] ‘When I was little I wanted to be an orchestra conductor. I remember a time when I was in Germany, I was about four years old, we went to a restaurant where they had an orchestra and the leader let me get up and conduct it. As I got older I began to love folk music, particularly the Weavers stuff.’ Around 1956, as rock ‘n’ roll was beginning to make its impact, Peter was pursuing rather different musical interests. Folksinger Tom Glazer […] became a friend of the family and presented fourteen-year-old Peter with a ukulele, which he mastered with disarming ease. ‘Then I took up the guitar and later I learned to play the five string banjo. Learning to play musical instruments always came easy to me. Other things I couldn’t learn no matter how hard I studied.’ Peter’s adolescence took a turn for the better around the time of high school senior year, when he was moved to the newly-opened University of Connecticut High School. ‘It was much more comfortable. The age difference ceased to matter and I finally got a chance to make some real friends. This is when I guess you could say I blossomed out. There were all kinds of amateur societies I could join, like drama and rifle shooting. I even started going to football and baseball games. […] I was very interested in drama but I was a late grower and because I was so short I never got any big romantic leads. My acting debut, at age sixteen and a half, was as a thirteen-year-old paper boy in Our Town. This was a bit degrading; it reminded me of the age problem, that had dogged me all through school.’ Peter also contributed to the school newspaper, submitting bizarre humor pieces illustrated by his younger brother Nick. Buoyed up by new confidence and security, Peter took a crash course in the French horn and was invited to join the University (not high school) of Connecticut Orchestra, as fourth chair French horn. ‘I really began to love music, just about every kind except opera. Sometimes I liked listening to classical music better than anything. My favorites were Prokofiev, Bach, Rachmaninov and Stravinsky. Pop music seemed kinda drab around that time. The hard core rock ’n’ roll era had ended and most of the excitement had gone. I was hung up on the orchestral music we played at school. About the only popular stuff I used to really listen to was Ray Charles.’” - Monkeemania (1997)

“A friend of the family, Tom Glazer, a folk singer, is the one who started it all for me. He gave me my ukulele. I had been taking piano lessons but when I got the uke, I found I could go plunk, plunk, and it was a sound I really dug. My mother wanted me to keep studying the piano, but I couldn’t make that plunk-plunk sound on it even after practicing. Knowing the piano helped a lot, though. I played other instruments too, like the French horn. I played that as a senior in high school in Connecticut and in a university band.” - Peter Tork, Seventeen, August 1967 (x)

[sbk-zgvlt]

HEARTSLABYUL

And their relationship with Dia (Yuu!Crowley)

RIDDLE ROSEHEARTS

“For some reason, every time I go near him, I get this weird sense of...unease. N-not that I dislike Dia, of course! It’s just that...for someone who’s supposedly from another world, he adapts very well despite the circumstances. Although, I do admire his efforts in trying to catch up to our current curriculum, even when most of our subjects seem foreign to him. If only a certain duo were the same...then again, he’s a part of those troublemakers, so I shouldn’t expect TOO much.”

“He really lucked out on the last name department. He’s practically a literal rose: Beautiful but prickly, just like Ulyss...wait, what was I saying again?”

ACE TRAPPOLA

“Weird guy, but he turned out to be super cool! Not too proud of our first impressions, though...anyway, I’m trying to find a way to thank him for everything he’s been doing, so Deuce and I are planning to hit the library to see if any of Dia’s weird thingamajigs from his world actually exist. Y-you didn’t hear that from me though! Seriously though, what the hell is a ‘kinnie?’”

“He should be grateful for how many times I’ve saved him from Riddle...he’s good company though. I can trust him to have my back when things go downhill.” 

DEUCE SPADE

“Dia’s super fun to hang out with! Especially during Ramshackle sleepovers, even if Ace snores in his sleep. I still can’t believe a guy from another world has better grades than me...no matter! it just goes to show that I still have a long way to go until I can become a proper honor student! Do you think he would help me out in alchemy if I asked nicely enough...?” 

“I don’t think Deuce knows that I know that he’s been hanging out with me lately to build up the courage to ask me for something...he DOES know that I would’ve said yes to whatever he wanted, right???” 

CATER DIAMOND

“He’s TOTES fit for Magicam! The mysterious aura, the smug smile, the slight attitude...girls would try to ‘fix him’ from left to right! LOL, they’re probably just going to make him worse though. Too bad Dia won’t let me get a picture of him, but Cay-Cay always finds a way!”

“Cater’s a fun guy. But people on social media are scary...just one wrong thing and they’ll start coming after you...I have to keep up my image, now that he’s hellbent on getting me on his Magicam account.” 

TREY CLOVER

“Ever since the prefect’s started coming over, I’ve had to double the amount of ingredients I need to use...seriously, the guy’s a blackhole! It’s still nice to know that someone who isn’t from Heartslabyul appreciates my food. Now I know my dormmates aren’t exaggerating when they say that I’m good in the kitchen.”

“It’s not my fault his food is so good! Besides, I’m just that gracious to accept food lovingly made from a friend! ...I don’t eat THAT much though, right?”

[artists-ally]

I had a very lovely anon ask me some questions recently and I’m gonna answer them for ya babes!

1. How long have you been writing?

Oh lord that is a great question. I actually first started writing in like the 7th grade I think? My best friend at the time had introduced me to fan fiction and it was downhill ever since. I used to HAND. WRITE. things in a notebook about this one guy I had a crush on it was FOUL. So I’ve got a good 7 years of practice going for me

2. Are you planning on making this a profession or just for fun?

My absolute DREAM GOAL in life is to be an author. I have several series ideas planned out but I’m 19 years old and I just have no idea where or how to start. I would love to be able to write all day every day and want nothing more in life than to be the next fantasy author.

3. Who or which character do you prefer to write more for?

Azriel. My sweet, lovely Illyrian baby Azriel form ACOTAR. I love how much depth his character has and we hardly know anything about him. I cannot wait to know more. I also have gained in interest in Lucien thanks to @thelov3lybookworm for getting me hooked on him. And we cannot forget Xaden Riorson. But Az is by far my favorite.

4. What do you do when you’re out of ideas?

I listen to music. I find it very helpful to listen to songs that have some sort of story or underlying meaning to try to spark an idea. That or I just stare off into the distance and wait for it to come. One of those two will eventually work 😭😭 (if anyone needs any good song writing playlists they’re on my masterlist)

5. Lastly, will you please give advice for the young readers out there?

Honestly, write whatever the hell you want. No matter who it’s about, what it is, just fucking do it. It doesn’t matter if it makes sense to the rest of the world it makes sense to you. Don’t feel pressured to write things you have no interest in writing. If you don’t love a character, don’t write for them!! If you’re feeling angsty, write angst. If you want the most jaw dropping, soul twisting adventure, WRITE. IT. Write everything and everything that comes to mind. I have a note in my phone that has three separate sections: Characters, Titles, and Ideas. That is the first place my initial thoughts and ideas for stories go. Or if I think of a random character name, it goes there as well. Find something that works for you is most important. To be a solid writer you don’t need to write 1,000 new words a day. Sometimes progress is just reading what you already have and developing thoughts for where you want the story to go. If it’s not working, come back to it another day, go write something else.

[shiftingwithmars]

Taking A Break-Barty Crouch Jr One Shot

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N:Enjoy this while I work on my other fic! This one might end up being kinda long.

Summary: When you suggest to take a break, things don’t quite go as planned.

Pairing:Barty Crouch Jr x Potter!Reader

Warnings:Fluff, angst if you squint, swearing, soft Barty, clingy Barty, reader is James’ sister, use of Y/n, mentions of smoking, mentions of fighting and blood, Dorlene, Jegulus, Marylily , Wolfstar, Barty earns James’ approval, lmk what I missed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You sighed softly as you sat next to Barty on his bed, trying to keep your nerves under control. “What did you want to talk about?” Barty asked softly, smiling as he rested his head on your chest. You ran a hand through his hair, feeling horrible about what you were about to do. Things had been stressful recently, and your grades had been dropping way too much. “I-I think we need to take a break.” You said softly, waiting for Barty to lash out and get mad at you. But he didn’t. He just sighed, curling up on your lap.

“How long do you need?” He questioned, pulling you closer as he buried his face in the crook of your neck. “A-a week maybe?” You suggested, once again waiting for Barty to yell at you. But he didn’t. Instead he just nodded in understanding, pressing a soft kiss to your cheek. “That’s fine. A week isn’t that long.” He said with a shrug. He hugged you even tighter, and you couldn’t resist the urge to roll your eyes.

“I don’t think you quite get how a break works.” You teased, playfully nudging him. Barty chuckled, smiling up at you. “Just savoring the moment.” You rolled your eyes once more. “Are you savoring the moment or are you just clingy?” You asked with a giggle. Barty chuckled, shrugging a little. “Both.”

Things went surprisingly well. You guys managed to get through the week without talking to each other. Apart from a few stolen glances in class or the hallways, you didn’t interact. However, things all went downhill when a week stretched into a month.

You don’t know how it came to this. The two of you had agreed to start talking to each other again Monday morning, but somehow a week had turned into a month. You still caught Barty’s gaze every once in awhile, but apart from that the two of you kind of just ignored each other. The weird part was that you didn’t even miss him.

You were splayed out in the common room, sitting between Lily and Marlene on the couch meanwhile Dorcas and Mary sat on the floor. “I don’t know, it just feels weird. I feel perfectly fine, which I shouldn’t because I haven’t talked to my boyfriend for an entire month.” You explained, fiddling with your ring. “Honestly, you’re way better off without him.” Marlene said with a shrug, popping a gummy worm into her mouth. “Girls are better anyways.” She added, winking at Dorcas who was sitting in front of her. You rolled your eyes, leaning back against the couch.

“Whatever happened to ‘all Slytherins are bad’?” You challenged, and Marlene rolled her eyes. “Oh shut it.” She said playfully, throwing a pillow at you. You caught it, tossing it behind you. “Ow!” You glanced back at the voice, laughing as you saw Sirius holding a hand over his eye.

“Y/n, we have a problem.” Sirius exclaimed, a serious expression on his face. All of the laughter instantly died down. “What’s wrong? You look worried. Sirius Black is never worried.” Mary exclaimed, sitting up straight so she could properly see Sirius. “It’s Barty.”

You hurried down the hallway, struggling to push through the crowd. You finally fought your way to the front, your eyes landing on a very bruised Barty standing in the middle of the crowd, his eyes trained on the bruised and bloody Ravenclaw in front of him. “Say it again, I fucking dare you!” Barty spat, his hands balled into fists. He made an effort to lunge for the guy again but Evan and Regulus held him back. Remus and James held the Ravenclaw boy back, keeping the two from clashing again.

Evan and Regulus pulled Barty away, dragging him towards the Slytherin dorms. You glanced back at him, your eyes filled with worry. “You should go check on him.” James said softly, coming to stand next to you while Sirius and Remus dealt with the Ravenclaw boy. “Whatever happened to you not approving of him?” You questioned, raising an eyebrow. “Yeah, well, I think he just proved himself.” You looked at James, a confused expression on your face. “Go. Your boyfriend needs you.” James said softly, as if he were trying to remind you of just how important Barty was to you.

You hesitated outside Barty’s dorm, trying to calm your nerves. You hadn’t been here in a month. You hadn’t even talked to Barty in a month. What if he no longer cared about you? But then James’ words echoing in your mind. ‘I think he just proved himself.’ That had to mean something. You hesitantly knocked on the door, waiting for a response. “Come in.” Barty called from the other side. You cautiously entered, your eyes immediately landing on where Barty was pressing an ice pack to a bruise above his eye.

You slowly went over to him, sitting down beside him. “You okay?” You asked softly, slowly reaching to touch him but then pulling back. Barty glanced at you, forcing a small smile. “I’m fine.” He lied. Barty studied you, trying to ignore the pain in his chest as he thought about you. How he hadn’t seen you in a month.

“Why?” You questioned curiously. Barty glanced up at you, raising an eyebrow. “That’s all you have to ask? Just…’why’?” He questioned curiously. “That’s all I need to know.” You responded, sighed softly as you sat on his bed.

“He said something he shouldn’t have. Had to set him straight.” Barty’s words were firm and filled with bitterness. You met his gaze, knowing there was more to the story. Barty sighed before continuing. “He was planning to ask you out. I know it wasn’t a big deal, but I…I didn’t want him to steal what little hope I had left…” Barty said softly, his eyes filled with hurt as he stared at the ground.

Your gaze softened, and you resisted the urge to reach out and hug him. “I’m sorry. I should’ve reached out.” You said softly, your hand slowly moving towards his. Barty took your hand without hesitation, holding it tightly. “It’s not entirely your fault. I didn’t reach out either.” Barty said softly, a look of guilt crossing his face.

You gently took his face in your hands, smiling as you looked at him. “You gonna kiss me or what, Junior? Barty’s gaze narrowed at the nickname, and a pout slowly formed on his face. “Don’t call me junior, you know I hate it!” He replied with the saddest expression he could manage, which wasn’t very effective. You laughed, placing a gentle kiss on his lips. “I love you, idiot.” You said softly. “I love you too, moron.” Barty replied, hugging you tightly.

You smiled as you bounced up to your friends, who were sitting under a tree in the courtyard. You sat next to Sirius, giving a friendly smile to Remus, who was currently lying in his lap with a Book in hand. James was rambling about a certain dark-haired Slytherin, meanwhile Peter absentmindedly played with a blade of grass. Lily and Mary were busy talking about potions class, meanwhile Marlene just looked around in boredom.

You enjoyed the peaceful atmosphere, basking in your friend’s warmth. That was, until, the usual Slytherin crowd came to ruin the peace. Evan and Barty ran over, making a lot more noise than necessary. Evan playfully shoved Marlene, and Barty ruffled Lily’s hair. Regulus rolled his eyes at his friend’s antics, claiming his place next to James. Dorcas had a smile painted on her face as she sat in Marlene’s lap, making herself right at home. Evan climbed into the tree, helping his sister up with him. Pandora’s legs dangled below her as she leaned against a thick branch. Barty finally stopped taunting the others, collapsing next to you with a grin.

Barty sat behind you, his head resting on your shoulder as his hands found purchase on your waist. You sighed, leaning against him with a smile. “Woah, wait a minute. Since when are you two a thing again?” Sirius asked with a raised brow, leaning forward in curiosity. You blushed, and Barty smirked as he kissed your cheek. “Doesn’t matter. As long as it continues to get on James’ nerves.” Barty said with a laugh. You turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. “And I love you, too. I’m with you because I love you!” Barty said immediately, jumping to his own defense without hesitation. You rolled your eyes, resting your head in his chest as you listened to your friends banter back and forth.

[eldritch-queern-magicat]

Actually, no, I haven't really changed at all since middle school. I'm still the same deeply creative weirdo with ever-growing eclectic interests. A happily blooming nerd. If I learned about something in school, I wanted to explore it at home, on my own. That's really how the electronics disaster happened. I'm actually incredibly grateful Mom and Dad monitored my Internet use. I am way too curious sometimes. And I have to see shit for myself extremely often.

I wasn't let back out properly as a specific part until sometime in the sixth grade. It was partially the cats, but also realizing Nanny probably wouldn't be around much longer. So when she did die, I was more relieved than anything else. I used to feel bad that I hadn't cried for her.

But she was stifling me and trying to tell me what to be. She didn't like me being curious about makeup? I was low-key kinda thrilled when I got makeup for Christmas in my senior year of high school. I like color. A lot. I used to constantly change my favorite color. Now I just say I love the entire rainbow.

And I had to hide that I absolutely loved Pokémon. I think she thought it was glorifying violence, but it's more like competitive high-contact sports. Either that, or it was the racism. Frankly, probably both. It's probably the one thing she might have been worse than foster care about. But honestly, watching all the stuff that had to do with entirely different cultures was so good for me. It still exposed me to to new ideas and lessons when I actually needed it. Among them, I started passively absorbing any little bit when Taoism or Buddhism were significant themes. Paired with Bible study on Saturday morning, I guess I managed better than I thought.

She was surprisingly ok with when I was really into western fantasy like Sabrina the Teenage Witch. I think she was also ok with Power Rangers and ThunderCats (the original). At least she validated my love of learning new things and legit gave me old text books (that I don't know where she even got) to look at science subjects at home.

I think that really started in the seventh grade when I got so obsessed with astronomy and in particular, black holes. It just amazed me how unfathomably massive the universe is. How far it goes, how long even light takes to travel through it. I couldn't help but find the divine in the actual, physical cosmos. And it was there with every part of it. I would think, ‘How can everything in this physical reality be bad if God had said it was good in the beginning? Surely we haven't corrupted everything. Cats and dogs know about compassion, in a sense. That's good and beautiful.’

It wasn't hard at all to be better than foster care, but she actually was. She did encourage me to ask questions if I was confused. She clarified a lot of the literalist theology so I could start to understand it. I think I asked to study the bible with her, with that very hope. According to Dad, she could keep up with devout Catholics. I had two different children's bibles at her trailer, plus she bought me my own standard bible when I was ten, for my birthday. She and Mom took me to the book store at the mall, and had them print my casual first name with my last name at the bottom right corner of the front in silver letters.

Fun fact, someone actually jokingly asked if I'd grown up Catholic because of my apparently deep knowledge of Christianity. That was during the summer last year. The irony of my current proximity to the nearest Catholic church is not lost on me.

What fucked me back up was how I was treated during high school a lot by peers and family, and largely I just got angrier more than anything else. I was trying my best to do better when it all started going downhill fast again. But apparently I was still not good enough. My cousins suddenly became spoiled brats because of my needs frequently not being met entirely, but they seemed so much better adjusted. They didn't understand, and I didn't know how to break my silence. So I started lashing out because i really didn't have the social skills I needed. So yeah, I was definitely an asshole at times. The bullshit from foster care got a refresh, and I was forced to submit to their training again.

Never had any serious issues with Grandma, though in typical moody teenager fashion, I was sometimes a brat.

There's a reason I didn't really come out of my shell again until my junior year of high school. I decided to try to be more brave the year before, since I knew I'd graduate in Ohio. I got better at my art and creative writing, and it seemed to give me a way to connect with others. I decided to go for the culinary class at the career center because hey--good food--and the only thing that was in question was my literal birth date and legal age restrictions with the student restaurant. I got in. Mom and Dad made absolutely sure it was paid for. So I decided to do another nuts thing and go try out for the spring musical. I met one of my closest friends that way. Truly a charismatic character (gonna tag you, @themerrymutants I miss you). I felt accepted and encouraged, like family is supposed to make you feel.

Memories are really just flooding in now, it's a just lot to process. Maybe it's because while answering the person on anon, I opened up a lot of my own psychological cupboards. I never really said a lot of that at once, let alone even explained my logic behind it all. It put a lot of things into perspective for me.

And I just can't help but think, oh, shit, I actually am competent. But I was constantly second-guessing myself because so many of the people around me were hellbent on judging everything I did. Now I understand that in those cases, they most likely feared how authentic I am. Some people, more or less depending on where I was at any given time, thought I was pretty cool because I was so authentic.

I stopped fronting almost entirely when Mom died. I still hadn't recovered at all from literally anything, and didn't know how to handle that. It took cycling through different roles to find something productive for me. I shattered, and ended up pushing most of my remaining idealism into the then-evolving Lilitu.

But I was always at my best when I was true to myself. There were still plenty of people who loved me for who I really was. And that was just enough to keep going. That is precisely what fueled my spite against others who didn't like me. And Mom sure as fuck never quit going.

-Era 🍎😺

[izoom02]

OMG?!?!?! I enjoyed your jungwon one so much😭😭 Can I ask for a request about Ni-ki where he only used reader for his gain like fame or whatever and then when reader broke up with him, he realized how much he actually loves them ( AJSKAJAJHA I thought of this when I was about to sleep )

“Please come back”

Pairing: Ni-ki x reader !!

Genre: Angst !!

Warning: Swearing !!

Notes: This is actually good! I also have to apologize for not uploading in my Heeseung smau, I have to re create the next chapter because I lost all my progress😭

———————————————

Y/N’s father is very wealthy and succcessfully. He is known for his successful luxury brands. So at school, Y/N is adored by everyone because of it, not only because of her father, also because she treats everyone so nicely and doesnt look low to others. Ni-ki, of course, is well known at their school as a ‘Ladykiller’, he only used girls for money, power and fame, he never feel bad and never will ‘cause he enjoys it, and besides the girls always crawl back to him, begging to get back together, he always found that funny. Its really easy to charm a girl anyway but why can’t he charm you??? You know what he wants, its very obvious, but to be fair… It’s kind of cute when he leaves cute notes at your locker or when he gives you a paper flowers, you can tell he did it, its kind of crumpled and its funny to think how many times he tried making this but it’s really cute, maybe he changed..? Because of his little scheme, you are now slowly getting convinced that he might be a good guy and he changed.

So one day, you accept his confession, he was your first love, you had a first date and he was your first everything but something changed… its been 3 months and he started to become cold and distant. He wouldn’t even look at you when you call him, at first you thought he was having a bad day, he was demanding you to give him alot of money, you even found out when he is going to a ‘study group’ he was actually on a trip with his gang. It’s been a rough week for you guys, you thought you guys are already falling apart so you bought him a Bungeoppang and a Nintendo switch since he was talking about it with his friends alot, you gave it to him but he just took it without saying thank you. You sat down at the couch thinking for a solution why is he like that but then you saw on his Instagram, He was hugging another girl… maybe that was his cousin but deep inside you, you know its not his cousin, you were just forcing yourself because you love him alot and then one day, you finally snapped… when you saw a girl was at his house and kissed him at the lips, you were crying hard and accidentally let a sob which they both heard, Ni-ki laughed and said “ Did you really think I would like someone like you?? You are just a nobody.. nothing special” You were stupid falling for his trap… You were beyond angry “ Fuck you Ni-ki… fuck you so much..” You just hope karma gets him, after all karma is a bitch…

Its been a month since you guys broke up, you are starting to move on, you were improving your grades, making alot of friends and helping your dad with his buisness, everything is perfect again but what about Ni-ki?? His life went downhill… his girlfriend broke up with him for not having enough money to buy her luxury brands, girls no longer getting charmed by him and his friends suddenly stopped hanging out with him. He wakes up, kind of missing you leaving delicious breakfast at his bed or when you guys are cuddling before getting up in bed. He missed the time you guys spent together… Wait what? He missed you? No, thats not right… Then that clicks him, everytime he ignores you and you pout, he cant help but kind of smile, or when you hug him to comfort him, or when you guys watch his favorite cartoons, or when you guys shared your kiss, he then realized he actually loves you… but now he lost you because of his stupid greed… yes he did gain alot before but now he lost everything, and the only thing he wants back, is you… he tried to talk to you but you ignored him.. you want nothing to do with him, everyday he begs with to your surprise, he never begs at all. You gave him a chance to speak up, “ Please Y/N come back, I was stupid… so fucking stupid, I want you back.. I missed you and I loved you, it took me a while to realized that. I will change, please just come back” he states, he was sobbing, you felt bad… but the damage has been done, and plus he sound sincere and he does sounds like he means everything he said, “I forgive you Ni-ki… I forgive you for what have you done but the damage has been done, I forgive you but I wont forget it, we can start over and just stay friends”, it did hurt but he understands why, so he agree to start over.

[kxowledge]

I thought I’d be more anxious about the whole PhD applications process. I am not. I am actually very much fine with the prospect of not getting in. Partially, it’s because I have only applied here, which means that, if rejected, I still can apply to many other places & equally that I haven’t gotten a string of rejections, which perhaps would have tugged at my self-esteem. Partially though, it’s because I’m fine with the idea of not doing a PhD.

It's not because I don’t want to do one – I think this sort of career would suit me very well! – but at the end of the day, it’s a job like any other. I’ve always known that I could have gone for something else and be okay, but now this doesn’t feel like a second choice imposed upon me. If academia isn’t for me, I can perhaps think of doing something else that’s completely different – something that could help with the lack of meaning I feel at the moment. I don’t have clear plans, I’ll decide when it comes to it, but there’s many opportunities I’d consider. There’s three-four I keep circling back to, around agroecology, teaching, and more directly helping others. I would still apply next year (and possibly another cycle as well) before giving up, but I wouldn’t be too upset if it doesn’t work out.

I have the second and final interview next week. And I’m very calm about it. Confident in my abilities and confident that I’ll be happy no matter what awaits me in the future.

I did a tarot reading two days before my first interview. Three cards popped out. The Tower – representing a surprising change – is very fitting. It’s an invitation to embrace it and look at it in a positive light, which I think is the attitude I have going forwards, no matter what this change will entail. Looking at the card, I also thought of “bad” habits I’m trying to get rid of. It also indicates a revelation, and I must say, I am going through a period of realization, understanding more and more what’s important to me: human connection. This means love and helping others and so much more. The Eigth of Cups signals a similar direction: the seeking of a deeper meaning, focusing on my personal truth and concentrating on what is important. It also speaks about growing weary and lacking energy, which is very much the condition I find myself in. Not emotionally, but physically. Allow me a small parenthesis about this.

It has been almost a year since I started feeling this way. ["This way" being fatigued, often with a low-grade fever, stomach pain, exhaustion after very little activity, frequent headaches, little appetite, nausea]. I thought what I was experiencing was burnout. August is when things got worse – surely triggered by the bacterial infection I got in India. I thought I had started making progress towards the end of 2023, but then I got Covid (again) and it all went downhill. It is entirely possible that this is long Covid. It could be something else. It could be nothing.  I haven’t seen a doctor about this. I mentioned it in my last visit and it got dismissed. I will go in the next few weeks for another visit, as I promised my dear ones. I don’t have much faith however in the doctors’ ability to do something. Especially if it is long Covid, there really aren’t recommendations and treatments in place (though research is underway).

I haven’t been fully transparent with my family about the extent of how fatigued and sick I am, though they know I’m not in top shape. My boyfriend on the other hand is similarly worried (but hasn’t gone down the spiral of googling what specific types of illness it can be). I am too. It feels like something serious. And it’s so much pain that the other day I actually thought that I don’t think it would be worth living like this. I hadn’t had this sort of thoughts for a long time. I’ve been trying to manage my energy more and I might share bits of this journey here, as perhaps they might be helpful for someone else too.

Finally, the Emperor. Structure, which is what I need for growth. An order and sound principles. The way forward.

[bluesicle]

I love Kingdom Hearts.

The first game specifically slams down all of the keys on the piano of nostalgia in my heart.

Every time I hear Traverse Town, I get a soft comfort in my brain that reminds me of the times before my whole life went downhill, and I want to keep it that way.

I first was introduced to Kingdom Hearts by my uncle who owned a PS2. Beforehand, I already had knowledge of Final Fantasy games such as X.

This was all back in first grade, so my mind is a little foggy. I saw my uncle playing a game that wasn't one I've seen him play on his PS2. Of course, I asked him what it was. When he responded by saying it was a mix of Final Fantasy and Disney, I was obviously interested. You know, since I was super young, it's probably safe to assume that I liked Disney movies.

He started playing it, the whole intro sequence played with the remix of Simple and Clean, and I fell in love.

I would watch him play, and my dad would point out the Final Fantasy characters. All the ones I knew, and the ones that I didn't.

Of course I wanted to play, but I never got that far. I sucked at the combat, and I still kinda do to this day. So for the most part, I would wait until my uncle was willing to play that day.

I watched him complete the game. I loved it!

I have vague memories of drawing the heartless on the backs of my papers during class.

But after a bit, I dropped it. I have forgotten about the game that I had loved so much.

Fast forward to 3rd grade, and I hit a very rough patch in my life that I can't let go of to this day.

Of course, I developed more of an attachment to drawing, like I did back in 1st grade. But I used it more of a way to be happy and escape such terrible things in my life. Drawing made me happy, like it did in my past.

Over multiple rocky years, my art was developing, and I was proud of myself. But I still didn't have much contact with Kingdom Hearts. I didn't care about it, because there were so many other things that I liked. Those things inspired me to draw. I didn't need to remember Kingdom Hearts.

I didn't realize until I re-discovered Kingdom Hearts sometime in summer of last year that Kingdom Hearts had more than just the one game. It is a whole, amazing, kinda confusing, franchise.

And now, I have more knowledge on the series.

My art skills have improved.

I hope I keep a hold of these games for even longer than I had before.

They have a special place in my heart.

First grade me would be so happy for me as of now.

And really, that's all I want to do. Keep my inner child happy. Remind myself of the good times.

I'm glad I re-discovered this series. And I'm hoping you can keep your inner child happy, just like I can.

(Blake if you see this post, do NOT point out the possible mistakes in it. You know my memory is full of holes.)

[itsliyahhbih]

Into the spider-verse: Xiomara’s intro

Sum: this is my intro to my au fanfic. Puerto Rico’s Araña-Mujer & it takes place on Earth 906. This starts in Xi’s POV‼️

A/n: The other characters come in later. The story really starts after her intro so this of this rlly as an intro/pt.1 ‼️ In this story Xiomara does end up with Miles G. Morales. HOWEVER, this is being posted as a test to see ‘how good’..this fic is. This is basically a ‘rough draft’ I’ve honestly barely edited this. I have read thru it so hopefully I didn’t miss any BIG errors. I just wanna see if others enjoy this or if maybe I get thrown suggestions. If this does good I’ll possibly continue with this fanfic on here :))

Okay let’s get this started , Hi I’m Xiomara Marina Aguillar . Puerto Rico’s one and only Spider girl. I got bitten by a radio active spider on a school field trip to Oscorp Labs for a career day. My spider bite gave me special venom powers through nails that can temporarily paralyze my victim. As well as camouflage effect that allows me to blend into any surroundings, also my body temperature drops leaving me undetectable to heat vision. I’m 15 years old and attend Visions, the center of advanced studies..It’s..It’s really just a highschool, but I like to remind myself of what my papa said to me. “Mija, you earned your place at that school! I’ll be damned to see stuck up children run you away from a proper education!!” Something my father didn’t have growing up. I tested very highly my whole life and always got good grades, school and education came so naturally to me..friends..not so much.

It was my papa’s dream for me to go to this school , so who was my mother to deny a man on his deathbed his dream for his eldest daughter right?…he..hehe. Yeahhh uh…My pa, he’s gone…He passed away when I was 13 from Cancer, but I don't like to remember him as a Cancer patient! I like to remember him for just being my papa. The one cracking jokes, cooking good food and saving lives as a firefighter…

I always wished he never got sick because then I just know..My life wouldn’t be the way it is now..

Months after my papa’s death my mother went downhill even almost lost her nursing license. She picked up drinking and smoking cigarettes heavily, also picking up extreme hours at the hospital to try to keep us afloat. She liked to claim all the hours were for keeping us afloat..a part of me believed that. That she was still the mami who used to give pep talks and smother you in kisses every morning, but really I knew it was also to feed her addiction..Apart of my mom still wanted to be a mother but sometimes couldn't bare to look at us and so I tried really hard to shelter my siblings from this part of her, but as they got older they became coherent to their surroundings . It was hard for us emotionally and financially, we were even still paying off his medical bills and that alone was a struggle to do.. Don’t get me wrong, my parents both made good money. I wouldn’t say we are DIRT poor as of right now, just struggling.. Those bills were just always a harsh reminder to us that he was gone..

We even lived in a beautiful house when he was alive but the hospital bills, caring for us, our wants and needs no matter what, bills..It swallowed them as his hours at work decreased more and more due to his cancer getting worse. Eventually putting him on disability we slowly got back afloat, but when he passed and we no longer got his disability income we lost our home and my mom lost her sanity. My parents worked so hard their whole lives to get us outta the hood for us to end up right back there . As I stated my mami kinda went..loco, She wasn’t herself any more, gave us no attention and became very cold and mean as the alcohol addiction increased so I picked up the care of my younger siblings and our apartment we moved into after the loss of the house. It was just my moms job to give me her paycheck to get it ALL done..Eventually we would argue about the money and costs of her habits so I had to pick up a job to pick up her slack..But that's enough of my life story let’s just get into it…

To be continued..?