#and not surrounded by toxic energy

[jaerie]

Woodlands Texas - July 8th, 2023 

[dodecademons]

Not to generalize or whatever, but I'm sorry but like wtf is going on with some of the cis hets? I literally got to know this couple and the guy just... insults her? All the time? "Lovingly" he says, she just kinda lets it happen. So far i have heard him insult her looks, hygiene, weight, voice, personality, intelligence, and just overall is mean to her. They've been dating for 3 years. Girl that sounds like a toxic af relationship to me. I have NEVER (and will never) insult my partner while we were dating, and even after we broke up (except one because they were literally manipulative and gaslighty). I like to be loving not insult their literal existence like that guy does. I will tease them sure but what that is isn't teasing babe, that is reason to break up. Biggest red flag

Wild.

[xoxomireya]

！ᶻz﹒the ultimate friendship guide﹒🦢﹕⤾

tysm for requesting @jasminejournal < 3 ! i had a lot of fun making this.

I. YOU CAN’T NATURALLY MATCH WITH EVERYONE

First things first: You can’t be friends with everyone. apart from the obvious “a friend to all is a friend to none”, it’s quite unrealistic to expect everyone to like you, and that’s okay! You just have to acknowledge that you aren’t meant to be liked by everyone.

Find people who are like-minded, who give you the same energy back, who have the same values, people that have healed and don’t bring their baggage and toxicity into the friendship. quality >>> quantity. Not everyone is meant for you and that’s okay, because we are not seeking quantity, we are looking for quality friends who have all the values i listed before and the ones you also find important.

The world is your oyster. in this era it’s easier than ever to make friends: meet a lot of people, say yes to plans, go to events, network, etc. The more people you meet the more you will realize that you can’t match naturally with everyone, some people are just not your vibe and the more people you meet the more likely you are to find someone you do mesh well together with. I completely understand that it might be harder for some people who are introverted or have social anxiety to socialize, but in that case I really recommend to work firstly on yourself because a lot of the times those things are triggered by insecurities and a bad relationship with oneself. I also recommend to practice with people online or people who know nothing about you, because that’s the thing: they know nothing about you. If you’re insecure, they don’t know that. If you’re acting in a confident way even though you’re not, they’re also not going to know because they don’t know the way you think or act.

Maybe the problem is YOU. Ifyou’re always losing friendships and struggling to maintain them, maybe the common denominator is you because you have issues you need to introspect. Focus on yourself for some time and fix all the issues that might be making you repel high-value people such as being insecure, romanticizing your sadness, having toxic and jealous behaviors…

II. WHERE AND HOW TO MEET PEOPLE

Like-minded communities !! You need to utilize the resources you have to make friends. friends that last are the ones who think in a similar way and who share similar values and interests, and you’re more likely to find like-minded people in like-minded communities. Build up the courage to go and do things alone so you become comfortable in going to places to meet people alone.

Some like-minded communities can be classes in which they teach hobbies of yours because when there’s a community of people whom you have to coexist with you will be forced to work together in a team and talk to each other and that will make it a lot more easier to make friends. Plus, you’re taking the same class so you’re going to have an interest/hobby to bond over which means automatic conversations without any awkwardness. Another option is to become a regular literally ANYWHERE. Ranging from a coffee shop to a gym, when you become a regular you familiarize with the staff and other regulars.

We’re living in an era in which technology can help you with almost anything. Use this to your advantage! Make online friends, use social media to search for like-minded people, download apps to make friends such as bumble bff…

III. HIGH-VALUE FRIENDS.

Now that you’ve prepared yourself and know where to find friends, let’s talk about how to know when someone is right for you.

Look for people who strive to be the best version of themselves and who are surrounded by positive energy. You are who you surround yourself with, so make friends that bring you positivity and who inspire you. Make sure that you both share how you want your future to look like and have similar future plans. Meshing well with them is a must. For example, someone who prefers and feels more comfortable having low maintenance friendships won’t match with someone who prefers to have high maintenance friendships.

And of course, respect is needed. You cross my boundaries? You’re out. Any sort of toxic or jealous behavior is NOT normal and you should not be friends or be influenced by that type of people.

IV. WHAT TO TALK ABOUT AND HOW TO BE A GOOD FRIEND.

Do NOT come off as desperate. “What if they don’t like me?” Thinking like that will only make you be so immerse in your thoughts that all of your confidence will disappear. Focus on having a “How can I make them feel comfortable and understood?” mindset, you’re now not thinking only about yourself and being self-conscious, so you’re going to appear more confident and since now you’re focusing on listening and making the other person feel comfortable you will make an amazing first impression.

Ask them questions about themselves. People love talking about themselves and this will immediately make them like you. Do not make it look like an interview, tho. Make sure you provide your input too which shouldn’t be hard because every question you ask is going to be redirected to you. You can also start the conversation with a compliment!

Friendship is a two way street. It needs to go both ways and you need to follow up with each other. What are they offering you? What are YOU offering them? Think about what can you give without forgetting what can you receive. The type of friend you want is the type of friend you need to be

V. HOW TO MAINTAIN FRIENDSHIPS

Everyone has the type of friendship maintenance they feel more comfortable with, but it's a fact that low-maintenance friendships are tho ones that last. Even if you feel more comfortable having high maintenance friendships, make sure that both of you can accomodate to having to maintain the friendship even when both of you are busy.

COMMUNICATION!!! I assure you that there's probably going to be a lot of hardships and misundersatings in your friendships (And that's not bad, we're human) and no proper communication will lead to the deterioration of the friendship.

[venusgroove]

chiron in the solar return houses

when reading a solar return chart, i always look at chiron’s placement. chiron can tell you where you’ll be struggling the most that year.

chiron never fails to give you a hard lesson, you cannot go against the lessons chiron has prepared for you. although this seems tough, once the pain and grief is experienced, you’ll be gifted with strength.

chiron in the first house

issues with self-identity. chiron in the first house can experience negative comments towards appearance and/or personality leading low self esteem. there can be an overall negative approach to life, a lack of optimism.

chiron in the second house

issues with material possessions. chiron in the second house can lead to tricky financial situations or just possessions stolen, this can cause a lot of physical and mental stress. there can also be issues in the work environment, things may be stressful.

chiron in the third house

issues with communication. chiron in the third house can cause miscommunication in both parties, the person with the placement and with other people. things said may be taken the wrong way. there can also be conflicts with siblings.

chiron in the fourth house

issues with family. chiron in the fourth house can cause conflicts in the family. family members can be fighting often or the person with the placement is fighting with family members. either way, instability will be found in relationships at home. this can also cause direct issues with the mother.

chiron in the fifth house

issues with finding happiness. chiron in the fifth house can cause a depressing year. it can be hard to enjoy things that are deemed as fun. there can also be a lack of creativity, this can cause a burnout, especially to someone with water placements.

chiron in the sixth house

issues in routine. chiron in the sixth house can cause life to feel somewhat dull. things can feel boring, there may be the feeling that the days are just repeating themselves. this can lead to a negative mindset, a decline in mental health. there can also be issues with physical or mental health.

chiron in the seventh house

issues in relationships. chiron in the seventh house can lead to romantic rejection. asking people out will often lead to getting declined. if one is already in a relationship, this can mean toxicity may arise in the relationship.

chiron in the eighth house

issues with maintaining positive energies. chiron in the eighth house creates a negative energy, not only can this harm the person with the placement, but also those surrounding them. this is happens due to the fact that energy is so contagious. there can also be issues with letting go, holding onto old experiences can contribute to the negative energy that was previously discussed.

chiron in the ninth house

issues in finding meaning/purpose in life. chiron in the ninth house can cause turbulence to philosophic beliefs. there may be many stressful thoughts relating to experiences of death and what happens after death. there can also be issues with higher education, such as college.

chiron in the tenth house

issues with reputation. chiron in the tenth house makes others jealous of ones status, therefore they try to sabotage. friends will often be hidden enemies. there can also be issues with a father figure.

chiron in the eleventh house

issues with friends. chiron in the eleventh house can bring negativity to friendships. either friends backstabbing or struggling to create friendships. this can also cause a negative experience with technology, something such as cyberbullying.

chiron in the twelfth house

issues in spiritually healing. chiron in the twelfth house drains spiritual energy, leading to a blockage in healing. this could lead to a negative mental space. there can also be issues with sleeping, a possibility of getting insomnia or having nightmares and experiencing sleep paralysis.

[crazilust]

What main character energy should you embody for this next chapter

From left to right : Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3.

Pile 1

confirmation/what’s coming instinctively : Brown eyes, brown, guitar, vynils, green shoes, docs, bangs, rings (lots of them, Virgo/Earth energy, hardwood floors, The Emperor, Goddess energy, Water sign, Water dom, Loves water, loves nature, loves animals, Names that start with a J, F, P, S

the message :

You should embody the main character that moves out of her town to start her character ark. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll physicall leave your town (although, you might!) but you definitely need to leave some things behind. I’m sensing friends, maybe even family members. Your environement is getting too small for you, which is maybe why I’m getting small town vibes. You are someone that needs a lot of recognition, even from yourself and you’re not getting any where you are right now. Are you proud of yourself? I doubt it. But you need to make the proper steps to find your place in this universe and there is a place for you but you need to look for it! I see you in a new apartment, maybe a bit lonely at first, but it’s because it’ll be the first time you really get to know yourself and discovering your true self. You have been repressing your true taste, your true interests, your true self with those people you’ve been surrounding yourself with. It’s not healthy and it’s getting dangerous at this point cause you’re starting to lose yourself. Leave. That would be my advice for you.

Pile 2

confirmation/ what i’m getting instinctively: Fighter, Orange is the new black, Piper Chapman, Blue, Glacier, Grey, long hair, fake smile, dimples, the emperor Reversed, bad relationships with caregivers, siblings, many friends, Aquarius, Pisces, car, driving, roadtrip, name that starts with M, N, X, V.

the message :

Woah! Okay! Love this energy, but hard to catch honestly. You don’t like being seen, huh? It’s okay, me neither! The journey you should embark on is the one where you’re gonna get thrown into an environment that is completely unfamiliar to you. A bit like pile 1 in the sense that it’s not something you’re used to, but contrary to that pile, you don’t decide to go into this environment, you’ll get thrown into it. I can sense you have some sort of anger issues and this will be the perfect environment to finally let it out. I can feel that although you have a very polished appearance, you actually feel like a wild animal inside. In this new environment, you’ll finally face yourself as you really are. You won’t be able to fake it, or to act like you’ve always done it. It won’t be possible anymore. You’ll have to be your real self, even tho it might disappoint people around you. Oh, you probably don’t want that. Too bad, because you will disappoint people, but you’ll make some real connections out there. When you’ll get out of that environment (because yes, it is temporary I feel), you’ll look back and won’t even recognize yourself. I think you’re quite excited for that. Deep down.

Pile 3

confirmation/what i’m getting instinctively: Twilight, Bella Swan, break up, torture, painful love, toxic love, mean, smiles with bad intentions, agenda, skinny, long hands, pale (or pale for your ethnicity), doesn’t like their hair, Aries/Taurus/Sag/Pisces, Fire dom, Neptune dom, Jupiter Dom, lucky but fails to see it

the message : Oh I’m getting major Bella Swan vibes lmao. Not necessarily her temperament, but mostly what she’s going thru. You’ve been thru a bad breakup and that person has left you empty inside. You find yourself staring at the window, and wondering why it ended the way it did. Stop obsessing over the past. You’re at a point of your journey where you need to change gear. You cannot keep going like that or you’ll litteraly become a shell of yourself. Get up of your bed, take a deep breath, take a walk. Anything. But reminiscing on someone that is gone, won’t do any good. Btw, they’re gone now but they’ll come back. I know you’re excited, but they’ll come back when you won’t care and then you’ll be like : “huh, i don’t even see what I saw in you anymore”. It’ll be a very satisfying feeling for you. In the meantime, cause you’re not there yet, focus on healing. See some friends, get into a hobby. Anything that could take your mind off of him. Why do you fixate over him? Was he something he did? Or didn’t do? Focus on moving on. That’s your journey for now. That’s the part of movie where we all root and get excited for the protagonist to get on her two feet. That’s your part. You got this.

• 🧡🍯👑🐰🪀 •

and that’s all from me folks, thank you so much 🧡

[tarotwithavi]

How do people view you/your energy? Pt1

How to choose a pile?

Close your eyes and take a deep breath and ask the angels to show you the right pile for you and open your eyes. The first pile that catches your attention is the right pile for you.

MASTERLIST

PAID SERVICES

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT 💕

Pile 1

Alright so welcome to your reading and I hope you are having a great day. So the first message I'm getting is that people view you as someone who has grown a lot. I see that people see you as somebody who has been to a lot of transformations, a lot of deaths and rebirths. They view your energy as victorious. You may be well recognised among your peers or you may be famous for your work. They view your energy as really sacred and hard earned. I see that you do not give out your energy to people easily and people feel as if they need to be worthy of your energy. I am also getting the message that a lot of people may get obsessed with your energy or they may want to fight for your energy and want to fight for your attention because people seem to get obsessed with you easily. It may be the reason why you have High boundaries. I am also getting the message that people view you as someone who can heal them, someone who can uplift them from their darkest Times. I also see that people may want to use you for your energy, the vibe that you give off. I see that people just want to be in your presence so that they can feel the high vibrational energy you have. That may be the reason why people seem to return back to you no matter what has happened between you. But sometimes your energy can also attract a lot of competition and I'm talking about toxic competition like people want to compete with you no matter what. People may want to show you how they can do things better than you and how they are better than you but that is just because they know deep down that you are doing better than them. I also see that you may remind people of birds, how birds are not restricted to one place and how they migrate from one place to another for a suitable environment. People see you as a bird because you will move on if you feel that the environment you are offered is not suitable for you. People are also confused by your actions because they cannot seem to put you in a certain box because when they feel like they know you you show them something they don't know. they are always in a state of confusion about you. People are always asking themselves “who are they?” , “what are they hiding?”. You may have Scorpio in your big three or 8th house placements.

Pile 2

People see you as someone who has worked really hard for what they have become and what they have achieved in life. I am getting the message that people see you as someone who is really work driven, someone who is really work oriented, someone who knows what they want in life and someone who is always working hard to achieve success. You seem to have a really rich energy. I am picking up on the message that you are surrounded by the energy of abundance and prosperity. People can literally feel that you do not have a lack mindset and that you do not have a victim mindset. People find your energy really wellcoming; they can feel that you will welcome them with open arms if they prove themselves. Your energy makes people feel appreciated and understood. You may find yourself listening to people's problems, or you may find yourself in situations where people open up to you easily. I feel as if sometimes people want to protect your energy and I am also getting the message that people stand up for you, people stand up for your beliefs for what you believe in. If Somebody is talking bad about you in front of others, there will be somebody to stand up for you because they believe in you. People view you as an angel sent from above. You have a really friendly, cheerful and outgoing energy to you that attracts a lot of good people in your life. I also see that people feel as if they can be themselves around you, people do not feel judged in your presence. I see that you may have Aquarius placements or 7th and 11th house placements. But sometimes you may feel as if people are using you for money or people are using you to get things done. You need to be really protective of your energy because there are greedy people out there who do not think twice before using somebody for their own good. People see you as someone who has a lot of friends, someone who has a big social circle or people may feel as if you are connected to a lot of people and that you have really good connections. People feel really inspired in your presence. I see that you are a lot of people's muse. People see you as Somebody they can trust for true and genuine guidance. They feel as if you have a solution to every problem.

Pile 3

Alright pile 3! The first message I'm getting is that people view you as someone who has a lot of control. They see you as someone who controls the environment and people around them. This may come naturally to you but you seem to have some kind of power over others, you exclude this energy of authority and others seem to submit to it. You may have a lot of masculine energy or you may embody masculine energy so when you are around others people feel dominated by you. People can feel that you are meant for something great in life and they view your energy as a power that is constantly inspiring you to take the next step to run after your dreams to do the things that you need to do in order to become a better person. A lot of people can feel that you have been through a lot of difficult and negative situations where you felt as if you had nobody else around you so you became your own savior. People can feel that you do not need anybody in your presence to make you feel appreciated or to make you feel worthy. They know that you are fine by yourself, you are fine in your own company and they know that you have faced your darkest nights alone. However, your nonchalant energy is what makes them more interested in you, in a sense that they want to be somebody to you; they want to offer you the love and care that you deserve. Some of you may have Saturn & venus conjunction or Venus in Capricorn or Aquarius. I am getting the message that people want to serve you, people want to be somebody you can lean on, people want to be somebody you can trust because they want to make you feel loved. I see that a lot of people may see you as their soulmate or they may feel a deep soul connection with you. People see you as someone who is a bit misunderstood. I don't know why but you give off Beauty and the beast Vibes and here you are the beast. People view you as someone who has put up a wall around them so that nobody can see their real self.

If you see a typo/spelling mistake please comment. I will fix it as soon as possible.

[hausofneptune]

"spicy" takes / unpopular opinions

[astro notes no. 002]

IF IT DON’T APPLY LET IT FLY. everybody’s chart is different, if you have any aspects or placements mentioned in this post that don’t resonate with you, that means the energy didn’t manifest the way that i described due to other influences in your chart (or you being delusional, idk, you decide). also, when i speak on certain signs i'm referring to their archetype and the innate energy they express. just be mindful that there's a variety of ways these energies can manifest from person to person.

disclaimers | masterlist | ask

༄ y’all stay talking about how hard scorpios have it but y’all don’t talk about the struggles capricorns face. especially capricorn moons?? have y’all ever encountered a capricorn moon that wasn’t in therapy or didn’t desperately need it??? they be facing the most insane level of emotional distress and then turn around and pick up more shifts and start studying harder like that shit finna help lmfao

༄ the discourse surrounding 8H synastry is... odd to me. i feel like some people (specifically the tumblr/tiktok girlies) are romanticizing trauma bonding. y’all can talk about how good the sex is all y’all want, but unless you and the person involved have a good amount of self-awareness and are spiritually evolved enough (especially if y'all have your own 8H placements in your own charts), i feel like you’re just setting yourself up to be in a “toxic” relationship with somebody. it could just be my aqua venus talking, but the whole “baring your soul” to someone and developing a possessive/jealous bond with them don't sound fun to me. i would rather perish.

༄ everyone talks about how dramatic your saturn return is but why does no one bring up how traumatic your 12H profection years are? being 23 was literally one of the most unhinged experiences i’ve ever had 

༄ i be tryna advocate for geminis because i know they’re just lil creative mercurial sponges and wanna have enough knowledge to see everything from every side… but why do some of them act like that? and you know what i mean. especially the more “unevolved” gemini placements, they be doing the most insane level of mental acrobatics and be contrarian just for the sake of being contrarian

༄ i have to say this as an 8H moon, i understand what y’all mean when y’all say 8H, scorpio, and plutonian placements usually face a lot of vitriol from others for no reason, but honestly, some of y’all be using that as a justification for being paranoid and manipulative. operating from a place of pain, assuming that everybody is out to get you, and being hyper-vigilant of people’s intentions isn’t the type of behavior anyone should be trying to normalize. let that hurt go pookie <3

༄ i feel like this has been spoken about before but i’ll never understand why water signs are constantly stereotyped as the emotional crybabies of the zodiac but fire signs aren’t? water signs can definitely be sensitive and existential but prominent fire placements will literally lose their mind over the smallest shit and then be cool 10 minutes later… yes i’m looking at you aries

༄ speaking of aries, can we address the way that they’re literally the toddlers of the zodiac and very much so behave like it? idk as a pisces i have a soft spot for them, i love their childlike, carefree spirit, and the way they be throwing tantrums for fun tickles me 

༄ this note doesn’t pertain particularly to signs/placements but astrology in general. i am begging y’all (specifically the people who are newer/beginners to astrology) to use traditional studies as a starting point and to stop taking notes from these tiktoks and tumblr posts. there are astrologers on these platforms who have done the work and studied (love y'all), but there are a plethora who haven’t. i saw a post the other day where somebody said squares/oppositions don’t indicate conflict in a chart and i felt like i was losing my damn mind. i definitely recommend the astrology podcast as a starting point for beginners, chris brennan is amazing and i still find myself re-listening to a lot of his content 

༄ i talked to one of my mutuals the other day about this, but astrology is such an amazing tool, and y’all should use it for so much more than self-validation. y’all do not need to have a certain venus placement to be considered pretty. y'all do not need certain mercury or uranus placements to be considered intelligent/creative. y’all do not have to rely on [insert random asteroid here] to know what your future spouse is gonna look like, when/where y’all are gonna meet, how they’re gonna perceive you, etc. etc. etc. i understand the hype around shit like that is due to social conditioning/constructs, but there are so many more important, relevant things you can learn about yourself through astrology that don’t revolve around "aesthetics"

༄ the girls are gonna hate me for this one, but i don’t understand the hype around lilith. and i say this as someone with a tight sextile between my sun and BML. there’s three versions of it, two of which don’t even technically exist, and then there’s a mean/true version that affects the accuracy. if anyone has more knowledge than me on the subject feel free to give me your input, because i feel like the insane amount of attention lilith gets has to do more with the whole “dark feminine archetype” trend that the tiktok/tumblr girlies love and less to do with its relevance from an astrology/astronomical lens (i feel this way about most asteroids honestly, but we’ll wake up that tea another time)

i don’t wanna get dragged so imma end this here, as always let me know if y’all have any aspects/placements mentioned and tell me how they manifest in your life/personality! and if you have any insight feel free to let me know as well. and don’t be messy. you will be blocked expeditiously. <3

click here to read part two!

[animeyanderelover]

Yay, your recs are open! Hope you're doing great and your health is good :)

This one is pretty dark, so ignore this if smth!

If you know about Tomie, could you do some jjk characters of your choice with a darling with similar powers? Like, she can't die fully, always returns no matter how cruel was her death, and for some reason all non-sorcerers are going crazy after being in contact with her for a some time – and, maybe, at some point even a yandere starts feeling a strange need to cause harm to her. Bonus points if she gives femme fatale vibes, but actually is much sweeter and kinder person than she may look.

Thanks, and have a great day!

I hope you don't mind that I made the darling in here the curse of obsession because this would fit the theme very nicely and would crank the Yandere scale to an incredibly creepy level. I know a bit about her since my best friend is a huge fan of Junji Ito works and she especially adores Tomie and Uzumaki.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, toxic relationship, possessive behavior, obsession, delusional behavior, manipulation, isolation, abduction, death of s/o, murder, mentions of cannibalism, nudity, mentions of dub-con, sexual themes, starvation

The curse of eternal obsession

Okkotsu Yuta

💍​Walking through the streets of Tokyo, no human would suspect you to be the cursed being that you are. Instead there is an aura of allure and mystery around you, something that seems to draw them to you like a moth to a flame. Bound to be consumed by the fire. Yet Yuta seems to bring a quick end to your life when he senses your eerie cursed energy. There are no words spared as he attacks you, your calm and beautiful face chilling as he exorcises you as if you have lived through death already multiple times before. Your face is something that seems to be stuck in his mind as it is the thing he sees as soon as he closes his eyes. It agitates him, disturbs him but he tries to calm himself by reminding himself that he has already killed you. Until he meets you again in the middle of the fight as you sit on the ground, surrounded by the blood of two men who have stabbed each other to death. When your eyes meet his own, there is the same serene look on your face as Rika brutally assaults you and Yuta watches how she tears you apart, a lump in his throat.

💍​You should be dead. He watched how Rika murdered you. He even murdered you one time himself. Yet only a few days later you stand in front of him again, greeting him politely before you walk away, your hair swaying in the wind. Yuta can only watch you with a racing heart whilst you disappear in the crowd. A few days later he receives word that a group of friends were found all dead. The police suspects that all of them strangled and beat each other to death in violent ways that are rare to find and his mind immediately suspects you to be the culprit. Whenever you appear it only takes a few days before news about violent deaths and gruesome suicides appear on the news as your mere presence seems to drive non-sorcerers to madness yet he has seen with his own eyes that you seem to possess an immortality unlike anything he has ever seen. To protect the public from your cursed energy, he captures you the next time he finds you.

💍​Yet when he tracks you down he is witness to a violent crime that would have made the average person empty their stomach. Even Yuta can't help the creeping feeling of horror as he watches a woman dismembering you with a saw before she cuts her own neck with the saw until she dies of blood loss. There is a strange sense of fury flowing through his veins as he collects every part of you, his heart clenching when he picks up your head with dull and lifeless eyes yet to his great disturbance even dismembered and dead, you still possess an attractiveness that he shouldn't feel about a violated corpse. He locks all of the parts away from you instantly and stays away from the room you are in to clear his mind and get away from the cursed energy you still seem to produce even in your temporary death. He can't get a wink of sleep that night as his heart never stops pounding nor does he seem to get your face out of his mind. When he gathers the courage the next morning to peek inside the room, his heart tumbles when he sees that you have regenerated and sit there completely naked, the sight of your body sending sparks of arousal through his body before he hurries up to give you something to wear.

💍​He keeps you there, locked inside the basement and stays as far away from you as possible. He has never encountered a curse such as you that has affected him as greatly as you do and he has to fight constantly against the temptation to see you as he finds himself standing in front of the door separating you from him multiple times a day, his nails digging into his palms as he bites his lips until he can taste blood. Even when he is not seeing you, Yuta can still sense the cursed energy of yours that is wrapping itself around his body like a snake and as weeks pass by, he finds himself falling asleep to horrifying fantasies about you that have him waking up drenched in sweat and with a raging boner that only throws him down into a spiral of disgust, shame and insanity. Until one day after roughly three weeks your cursed energy disappears. He should feel relieved about it yet his heart drops with such intense anxiety that has him nearly ripping out the door leading to your room. As soon as he sees your thin and dead body laying on the ground, he feels something shattering as he suddenly bursts out in tears. He starved you to death.

💍​He carries your light and thin body to his own bed and lays you down before he waits. He sits there and waits for hours in agony until your cursed energy picks up strength again and your body regains its healthy and otherwordly beauty. As soon as your eyes flutter open, Yuta's face is the first thing you sees. His heart starts beating with excitement as he tells you that he will prepare something to eat for you before he rushes to the kitchen. It is only after he has prepared the food and serves it to you that he realises what he is doing and for a short moment he feels a spark of hot wrath that you have reduced him to this yet when you open your mouth and he hears your voice for the first time, his anger melts away. It is a soft and sweet sound that echoes in his mind long after you have told him your gratitude for the food. An infatuated smile appears on his face as he watches you eat the food before he asks you if you would like to take a bath. The following days you suddenly get a lot more freedom, although you are still kept within the house but that isn't solely because you are a threat to non-sorcerers anymore. It is also because Yuta feels a possessive yearning to see you whenever he wants.

💍​You are unlike any curse he has ever seen. Not only are you beautiful and gorgeous but you are also soft-spoken, kind and even somewhat shy. You help him with the household as you insist on showing your gratitude by preparing him meals and washing his clothes to the point where Yuta feels like you are his housewife and that image has his heart racing and his body reacting. You insist on sleeping on the couch when Yuta offers you to share a bed with him as you don't want to breach his private space and you reject it until he snaps at you with a frightening look on his face and a tight grip on your arms that could break bones. He instantly withdraws his hands when he regains his sanity and apologises hastily to you with tears in his eyes. He clings to your warm body at night, taking deep whiffs of your scent. Everything about you drives him crazy, the feeling of your skin against his electrical. There is a constant arousal keeping him half-hard at night as temptation grows stronger until he starts dry-humping against your thigh or ass, praying that you are asleep. Until you one night run your fingers soothingly through his hair whilst he is humping, causing him to let out a choked moan as he cums.

💍​Yuta spends weeks on cloud nine as he fully indulges in everything. He treats you like his precious wife as he buys you cute dresses and even gifts you a ring which he insists for you to wear. You never deny him anything as you allow his touchy behavior as he holds your hands, kisses you and eventually even has sex with you and this fuels Yuta's delusion that you feel the same as he does. It is almost sickening how sweet he acts with you. All until one day he crosses paths with an acquaintance who knew someone who came in contact with you and when Yuta finds out that they know about your existance, he suddenly feels a feeling of paranoia about your safety as he suddenly sees this non-sorcerer as a threat to you. He feels the urge to call out Rika but decides to pry for information for now. They open up to him, perhaps because they just want to tell someone who shows interest as no one has believed them so far and the story that they tell him shatters his pretty delusion. They tell him how their dead ex-lover left them for you, abducted you and apparently even had sex with you and how they called them moments before they jumped from a building to tell them in tears that they ended up killing you.

💍​Yuta lets Rika kill that person within the same day as a wrath has suddenly festered inside of him. At first he believes that they are lying because you only love him and you would never allow another person to touch you the same way he touches you. You love him. But when he sees their corpse, a realisation slowly settles in. You are a curse. A curse that has always driven people mad and Yuta is no exception. He's just killed an innocent non-sorcerer. And it's your fault. Disgust, pain and wrath cause him to spiral down violently as he all but storms back to his house to murder you and take revenge on you for deceiving and using him. When he arrives home, he finds you asleep on the couch and for a moment his eyes just take in your beauty as you lay there so innocently before his gaze zooms in on your neck. In the next moment he is choking you, his body on top of yours. Your eyes fly open as you start whining and choking whilst he is watching you with a dark glint in his eyes, taking in with joy your suffering form. Then your eyes meet his own though. No shock, ne fear, no guilt. Instead all he sees inside those orbs is acceptance and pity. You are pitying him.

💍​It is this look in your eyes that throws him off as he lets go and stumbles away from you, staring at you with shock and agitation. Why are you giving him this look?! You don't say anything as you instead just give him a sweet smile that tears his heart open. What kind of monster are you to deceive him even now? You know how much he adores that smile of yours. He's on the verge of crying as he pulls out his katana to dismember you but then he suddenly freezes. His wrath dies down as he stares at the katana in his hands and his eyes widen as he drops it and sinks down on his knees as he suddenly becomes aware of his own horrifying thoughts he just had. He just looks at you for a few minutes before he suddenly bursts out in tears when he seems to realise something. That you never had any choice but allow people to do what they want to do with you. Your own curse brings you as much misery as everyone around you and your immortality forces you to endure it over and over again. You are a victim. He crawls back on top of you and apologises to you whilst his hot tears fall on your face, promises you in between sweet kisses on your neck that he will never harm you again.

Gojo Satoru

🩵​There you are, walking through the streets together with a man following you with infatuated eagerness as he constantly points at stores and offers to blow all of his money on you yet you only shake your head politely. Your cursed energy isn't oppressing nor is it filling the entire area but Satoru can sense how potent it is as he happens to be in the same area as you. He's currently there to buy something for his students when he senses you and blue eyes instantly race over the crowd to detect the source of it. An exceptionally beautiful man himself, even he can't deny your sheer beauty as he finally finds you. He watches as you point to a store selling candy and the man who is accompanying you eagerly nods his head before he rushes to buy you something. You seem to observe him for a while before you turn your head in an inhuman way and your own glowing eyes meet Satoru's as you have recognised his presence as well and want to let him know about it. Your cursed energy spikes and Satoru wonders if he will have to use his Domain Expansion if you decide to attack but you don't seem to plan on doing so as you crack your head back and wait with folded hands for the man to return.

🩵​Something about you is off though, majorly off, so Gojo decides to follow you. You have clearly seduced the man who seems to be on all four for you and Satoru doesn't blame him. You are beautiful and gorgeous as even your cursed energy is tempting but that won't stop Gojo from exorcising you. He is even bold enough to approach you when your victim leaves you alone for a moment to murmur in your ear that you appear quite calm despite the fact that you know that he is following you. You only glance at him briefly and Satoru almost drowns in those enchanting eyes of yours before a loud yelling interrupts him. So lost was he in your gaze that he didn't even notice the man returning. If looks could kill, Gojo would have died thrice now as he can quite literally see the man shaking with rage and for a few seconds Gojo is convinced that he will come for his throat before the man just grabs your hand violently and drags you away. Blue eyes narrow as Satoru waits for a while before he decides to trail after you again. He suddenly has a bad feeling about this and eventually he finds out the apartment where the man apparently lives. He's already standing in front of the door when the commotion suddenly starts.

🩵​Loud screams and wails belonging to the man are heard, crying out your name before they are followed by screams of pain and the shattering of a window. That's when Gojo breaks the door open and the scene he sees inside is not pretty. Shards of a broken vase are stuck in your neck and even your now deformed face and the shattered window is painted with red blood from the now dead man who must have hit his head against it until it broke and he died. Yet Gojo can still sense the cursed energy from you, can almost feel it crawling towards his own body. He watches your bloody form alarmed, something warning him that something truly isn't right with even though he can't figure out what it is. When he notices your fingers twitching and your body twisting, he acts quicker than he can even react as he kills you and senses your cursed energy vanishing completely. A few days later he decides to visit the graveyard of the man as he has for some reason not been able to forget about you. When he senses a familiar cursed energy though, he feels his muscles tensing as this shouldn't be possible. Yet there you are, kneeling in front of the graveyard.

🩵​He is instantly behind you, throwing a shadow over you as his hands linger over your head as if considering to rip it off yet he doesn't as his eyes narrow in confusion and wariness. You are supposed to be dead. Why are you still alive? You lean your head back to look at him and only greet him politely before you arrange the flowers you have brought with you on the man's grave before standing up again and leaving. The white-haired man stops you though as he grabs your arm so tightly that your bone might break as he asks you how you are still alive. You cascade your gaze very shortly down to the ground, seemingly reminiscing about something, before you meet his intense gaze. He could swear that you almost look a bit sad as you merely tell him that you are eternal. You hold his gaze for too long until he feels threatened to get lost in those eyes again which causes him to let go of you. Blue eyes are glued to your form as you walk gracefully away, his eyes roaming over the shape of your body until he can't sense you anymore. Only then does he feel the urge to follow you die down a bit.

🩵​He is almost ashamed of his own lack of self-control when he senses your energy a few weeks later again and the urge to see you again just takes over him. Truth is, he has been thinking about you a lot ever since. Your mysterious words have stuck with him as he has been trying to figure out what you meant and your hypnotising gaze has been following him in his sleep. He is shocked to find you though. Half-naked and with deep cuts littering your skin as you are held down by the neck as the man above you traces a long knife down the curves of your body. Briefly he is reminded of your deformed face and bloody body when he met you for the first time and suddenly rage starts to cloud his vision. A hot wave of jealousy falls over him for the way the man touches you so closely and ire takes hold of him for it looks like he is about ro rape you. Gojo knocks him instantly out, perhaps a bit too strong as blood starts seeping from his head. He quickly offers you the jacket he is wearing to cover your bare upper body with before he grabs your wrist and tells you that you'll come with him. You beg him to call an ambulance for the man before you come with him and Satoru is surprised to hear those words.

🩵​He almost doesn't want the man to receive help but then he snaps out of it and gives you his phone to call the ambulance. It is strange that a curse wants to help a human, especially since that human looked like he was about to sexually force himself on you and kill you at the same time. You are indeed very strange and he finds himself looking at you the entire time out of curiosity and since your beauty is very outstanding. He should kill you but he has already tried this and somehow you just appeared again so he has a feeling that it wouldn't work even if he would try again. He doesn't want to kill you for some reason though. Instead he brings you to his home and tells you that he wants to keep you in here until he has figured out what you are and what to do to you. You give him a silent nod before you ask him if there is anything you can do whilst he keeps you here and this is not what Gojo expected to hear. You really are a peculiar curse. He monitors you very closely the following days as you walk around the house to memorise the interior and every room and whe he realises that you seem to have a love for books, he ends up buying you entire shelves worth of them. The giddy grin you give him has his heart pounding.

🩵​You are well-read and seem to have existed for quite a long time already as far as Satoru can tell from the knowledge you share with him. As much joy as it gives him to see you happy, he starts feeling jealous that you spend so much time reading books. He wants attention, more attention than you already give him. It just isn't enough. It escalates very quickly when you one day ask him to wait until you have finished this book. Only a few pages are left yet somehow those words make Satoru snap as he snatches the book out of your hands and rips it apart. Blue eyes ablaze with agitation yet also a familiar look to you as he bends down so that he is on eye height with you. Hands grab your own harshly, squeezing them as he tells you in a low voice that he despises if you ignore him. You look into his gorgeous eyes, seemingly unfaced from the way he glowers at you before you carefully free one of your hands and reach tentavively out to touch his face. His Infinity is already deactivated, allowing you to touch his face. He lets out a satisfied hum as one of his hands grabs your one touching his cheeks, blue eyes gleaming as he looks at you.

🩵​His Infinity around you is mostly deactivated as he encourages you to touch him as much as he is already touching you. Your touches are warm and addictive and he seemingly can't get enough of them. Often you find yourself trapped beneath him, his arms wrapped around your waist and his head on your chest. You sometimes asks him what he plans to do with you as he is a sorcerer and you are a curse yet he always shuts you up, mostly by kissing you to silence all of your sounds. He does know that technically he should find a way to exorcise you or to at least seal you away yet his whole body is filled with rage when he considers it. He has to keep you a secret from other sorcerers under all means necessary. Not only because of their demands but also because he fears that they would desire you too for your beauty and gentle nature. He notices that you never seem to protest or stop him whenever he becomes very touchy and as sick as that is, Satoru finds himself abusing this. Within a short time he is able to fully indulge in his desires as your nude body is pressed against his own, teasing you here and there as he claims you for himself. He has never seen someone more beautiful than you.

🩵​Satoru is almost drunk on you and every word and gesture you do as he is convinced that he would kill anyone who would try to take you away from him. Yet the willingness of yours to let him do whatever he wants with you soon turns into a festering jealousy as he starts wondering if you allowed all the people before him to do everything to you as well. He shouldn't care considering that your curse seems to make people naturally obsessed with you and that he isn't the first and most likely not the last one yet he has already fallen under your spell. His heart threatens to burst as he realises that he will fade whilst you will continue. He won't let anyone else have you after him! You are assaulted by him whilst you are changing clothes, a desperate look in those blue eyes as he begs you to tell him how he can murder you as he tells you about his wish to kill you when his time comes so that no one else will be able to have you after him. When you confess to him that you don't know how you can die, you see the anger and madness flaring up in his eyes as if he is about to attempt to murder you again then and there before he manages to regain his self-control and tells you in a sweet tone that he'll find a way.

[zeldasnotes]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PART 25 🐣

Venus in the 10th house people easily get receptionist jobs and other jobs where they are the face of the company. They are seen as someone who will make the company look good.

”I dont care if SHE hates me, shes ugly” - My Libra Moon, Libra Rising friend. We were talking about some girls who dont like us, she cant stand not being liked, except if the person is ugly then its okey because to her an ugly persons opinion doesnt matter💀

Ceres conjunct Lilith is found in the charts of a lot of body activists.

I looked up the chart of a body activist who focuses especially on making new moms accept their post partum bodies, and she got Venus conjunct Knight(29391) in Cancer.

Virgo Risings give off that ”Im better than you” energy without meaning to. This is the rising sign most likely to be accused of being arrogant or having an attitude when they are just minding their business.

People with Moon Square/Opposite Mercury might struggle with oversharing and gossiping. They have a hard time processing information.

People with Venus aspecting Saturn have this style where they look dressed up but still look so casual? Like they have the perfect mix between luxury and comfort, especially if they have Taurus or 2nd house influence.

Contrary to popular belief Libras are not likely to be mean to you just because others are, thats a Capricorn trait. Libras are usually friendly and kind even tho they have some shallow traits. They are still an air sign and air signs wants to think for themselves. Capricorn placements are the ones most likely to pretend to dislike you because others dislike you.

If you got asteroid Achilles(588) in the 2nd house you could make money out of your biggest insecurities. You could write a book about your trauma.

Lilith in the 9th house can mean your partners family dont approve of you.

Ive seen so many people with inner planets aspecting Neptune who are soooo much more beautiful irl than on pictures. Neptunians are known to be photogenic but a lot of them are the opposite. You dont see the otherworldy energy surrounding them on camera.

Mars 8th house synastry can mean you find eachothers name attractive.

Adorea(268) conjunct Sun or Ascendant is such a blessed placement.

If you have Aura(1488) conjunct Neptune people might be completely mesmerized by you. You have this disney princess aura. 🪄

Ive noticed people who are into toxic positivity usually dont like 8th housers. 8th housers are so good at accepting that life is both positive and negative, they see the beauty in the wicked. Also 8th housers remind them of what they are trying to ignore.

Having an air sign Venus in the 8th house is not giving a fuck but at the same time crying over the person you dont give a fuck about.

Machiavelli(19730) conjunct personal planets can make someone an expert at getting ahead by using others. Very good at knowing who to use. Very cunning and can be very detached from others (CAN BE doesnt mean they will be)

I know we shouldnt judge people based on astrology but seriously never ignore someones North Node because what conjuncts North Node is a life theme. Whatever a person got conjunct their North Node WILL affect you if you are involved with them.

Transits affect your style a lot. The year transit saturn was going through my 1st house I dressed very businesslike and wore a lot of grey, black and white.

I noticed that the person who take your virginity often have their Mars in your 8th house.

Venus conjunct Venus can be a rivalry aspect in synastry because you both want to come across the same way. You see what the other person is doing. If one of you is fake the other will see it. Venus affects our personality and behaviour a lot.

I noticed that a lot of people with Scorpio/Pluto energy could never be friends with someone whos too ”innocent”. They need excitement and drama.

If you have Uranus in the 1st house it doesnt always mean that the ”unique” about you is seen. You might not have an unsymmetric face it can be that the Uranus effect shows up by your tongue being longer than the average length for tounges. which will not be seen. Can even be that one boob is bigger than the other. Or that you have a look that doesnt match what people from the same cultural background as you look like.

To my Moon/Pluto and Venus/Pluto people. Remember that feminine energy is threathened and can be competetive with you. That doesnt only include women, anyone can be feminine. So you will experience hate from feminine men too.

You have a bad feeling about a situation or a person? Ask a Cancer Moon. Trust me on this. And ALWAYS listen when a Cancer Moon warns you of someone. Cancer energy is PURE intuition.

©️ 2023 Zeldas Notes

[cozycottagetarot]

You & Your Person: Relationship Dynamics

This Reading Covers the relationship dynamics in general and how you and your person show up in the relationship.

This Extended Reading Covers:

The Strengths and The Roles You Both Play

The Challenges and The Roles You Both Play

Bonus Question

Notes:

I loosely used the tarot in this one. I considered the traditional meanings but also factored in what I got from the imagery along with what my intuition was telling me.

This reading is for entertainment purposes only. ✨

Dividers From X

Reading Masterlist | Patreon | Paid Readings -- Open 🥂

Group 1

The Relationship In General

Cards: King of Cups, Five of Wands, Ten of Wands, The Thief, The Assassin

This isn't the best opening line, but this relationship has a dynamic that very easily has the potential to become toxic, however it does not mean it will be. Now stay with me! I've been struggling with how to do this reading but the energy I’m picking up on has been very adamant about me not trying to be all rainbows and sunshine’s with this pile. This relationship is heavy. It is mentally taxing. You’ve both got your shadow attributes and they clash. But at the same time, there is so much love here… it’s almost as if there’s so much love that you end up drowning in it.

You show up in this relationship as The Thief. You’re the sweet talker, I was going to say spontaneous one (that could still be true) but I'm getting that that's not exactly it. You’re the sweet talker here. The Thief has their own agenda and has a streak of luck. I can’t say you’re the dominant one because it feels like two dominant people together, but you’re the outspoken one who kind of calls the shots while your person has a more passive (aggressive) type of dominance. It’s more like you call the shots until your person has had enough of it and then suddenly you don’t.

The Assassin represents your person. They may not be the best at maintaining relationships but they know they have to put in the effort and they do so. I think this is why the relationship works. Yes, you two may clash and the relationship takes a lot of work, but because you’re both able to and willing to put in that work, you’re able to return to that state of love or emotional balance and make it work.

To summarize, you and your person both have strong personalities. These personalities can clash, but when they do you two work it out you come back together closer. There’s also a thick tension here. I think it's a very fiery build-up between you two... If people were watching you two they’d question if you’re going to try to kill each other or have a rough night in the bedroom when you go home.

If you've made it this far, thank you! ♡ If you'd like to see the extended version which includes the strengths and challenges of the relationship as well as bonus question specific to each group, you can check out my Patreon here.

Group 2

The Relationship In General

Cards: Page of Cups, King of Wands, Queen of Swords, The Sailor, The Poet

Your relationship with your person seems like one that is delicate. There's so much potential surrounding what can come of it and I think both you and your person are aware of that and put in the work. There's a levelheaded flexibility here. You're both clear and concise on what you want (seeing where the relationship goes) and because of this you two can take the necessary actions to cultivate this relationship and all the possibilities of what you two can become.

Here you show up as the sailor. I don’t really think you’re the type of person to be tied down easily. It's like yes you'd like to call someone to call home, but you're not calling just anyone you get along with home. Maybe that’s why the relationship seems delicate... because this person is the one person you’d lower your anchor for. I think you bring the adventure to the relationship and not just in the sense of let's try a new restaurant, but as in let's move to a different country for a month! You've got a restless energy. Always on the go. Always curious about what lies beyond. I think it adds an extra weight or importance that you’d settle down with them. Not for but with.

Your person shows up as the poet. They bring the charm and the romance making the relationship seem like the best kind of love story. They're very open and adaptable. For some of you this could be a long distance relationship or there is a distance of some kind between you and your person (it could be like a two hour drive, different work shifts etc)... so whenever you two are able to spend time together your person does their best to make sure there's some wow factor when you two are together. They just have such a beautiful energy I think you'll always find yourself enamored by them.

If you've made it this far, thank you! ♡ If you'd like to see the extended version which includes the strengths and challenges of the relationship as well as bonus question specific to each group, you can check out my Patreon here.

Group 3

The Relationship In General

Cards: Page of Swords, Ten of Pentacles, Three of Wands, The Aspirant, The Sentinel

I feel like you have this relationship with your person locked down! You and your person are all about expanding your material wealth or physical aspects of your relationship (home, car, trips, finances, etc). For some of you, you two could even be in some business endeavor together, but at the very least you two are always about maintaining the stability of your relationship and making sure the relationship is without want. You will always be looking to improve and I feel like you two may end up experimenting a lot within your relationship with different plans for your combined futures.

You show up in the relationship as The Aspirant. You’re the one who has the grand vision for the relationship in a way. You see the final destinations in all the endeavors you and your partner dream up together. You have the keys to making the relationship work and making sure you attain the success you both seek. I’m also hearing generational wealth may be of importance for you as well.

Your person shows up as The Sentinel. They guard these ideas of yours, they guard the relationship and they guard the stability. The aspirant doesn’t see obstacles, only the goal which can end up setting the back but the sentinel does see obstacles and overcomes them and that’s exactly how you two work together as a unit.

If you've made it this far, thank you! ♡ If you'd like to see the extended version which includes the strengths and challenges of the relationship as well as bonus question specific to each group, you can check out my Patreon here.

[patscorner]

ok, I see you need requests, so here's one, something for Chris where the reader is Jealous?

absolutely!

Defeaning Silence

Summary: Both you and Chris attempt to seal the cracks in your relationship

wc: 1,517

Pairings: Chris x fem!reader

Contains: Swearing, arguing, fighting, insecurities, toxic, mentions of alcohol

______________________________

You and Chris both knew it was coming, you’d seen the signs. You both just chose to ignore the evidence, and delay the inevitable.

Chris and you had gone to Tara’s party. You were less than happy to go, as you were swamped with schoolwork, as well as your boss forcing you to work overtime. The last thing you wanted to do on your day off was be around a bunch of people who were drunk and less than unaware of their surroundings.

But, you hadn’t spent a bunch of time with your boyfriend, and he had invited you to this party. So even though you’d rather be under a warm blanket, watching a movie and eating your favorite snacks, you suck it up and go out.

Everything is going well, as it usually does. You had been glued to Chris’s side the whole time, not having the energy to go out of your way to talk to anyone. Chris wasn’t super pleased with the hesitation you had when he asked if you wanted to go, he felt like you weren’t being super appreciative of the invite he’d given you. He, of course, didn’t communicate this with you, not wanting to cause an argument. So he instead attempted to hide his feelings and just to enjoy your company.

As the night progressed, the more people got drunk, the more irritated you had become, the more the uneasy tension grew between you and Chris. This was unusual for you two, as you were usually that one couple who couldn’t keep their hands off each other. But tonight, you stood uncomfortably at each other's side.

Chris mumbled something along the lines of ‘fuck this’ before turning to you. “Can you at least pretend to be having a good time? You’re really ruining this for me.”

You look up at him, your blood instantly starting to boil. “What? Where is this coming from?” you spit at him. This is truly not the time nor the place for this, both of you being slightly under the influence, and already upset with each other.

“You’re standing here, being all dry and shit, and you're really starting to piss me off. I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt, ‘cause I know you’ve been hella busy. But, come on, you’re not even trying.” he exclaimed, flailing his hands around.

You’re stubborn, so even though deep down you know he’s correct, the last thing you’re going to do now is agree with him. “I am trying, Chris, that’s why I’m still fucking standing here. I do not want to be here, and I’ve already sucked it up. I don’t know what more you want from me.” you say, just as loud as him.

Chris rolled his eyes. “If you’re gonna be all mopey and shit, then you shouldn’t fucking be here.” Chris says harshly, his words laced with venom. Your eyes widen.

“Are you being fucking serious? You asked me to come, I’m here now, so what is the fucking problem?” You both are eye to eye now, screaming in each other's face. You know you should call it quits, sleep this off, and come back to it in the morning, but all logic has left, and you’ve both let the alcohol and frustration from earlier take over.

“My problem is the fact that I feel like I haven’t seen you in about two weeks, and when I try and be a good boyfriend and get you out of the fucking house, your acting like a bitch about it.” he spits bitterly. His words hold a hint of truth, despite his slight intoxication. “I might as well go hang out with someone else.”

You stand in front of him, speechless, as you let what he said sink in. Finally, you find your voice again. “Go hang out, with someone else then, Chris. See if I care.” you say untruthfully. You don’t mean it and he knows it.

He laughs even though this situation is far from funny. “I’m not falling for that again and you’re fucked up for trying to put me there.”

Now it’s your turn to laugh, finding his implication shocking. He’s referring to a party you guys went to a while ago.

You’d only been dating for three months, so nobody really knew about your relationship. You had gone to a party, one that was far more packed than you thought it’d be, so you lost Chris pretty quickly. You’d had an argument before the event, so you assumed he had gone to hang out with his friends.

But after a while, you found him, talking to a girl who was the exact opposite of you. Her hands were on his chest, and his arm was snaked around his waist. You’d seen them talking, and you watched as she pulled him in for a kiss and how he didn’t pull away as their lips interlocked.

When they pulled away, he locked eyes with you, and you stood there, in shock. His eyes widened as he made his way to you, but you were already out the door. But he was fast, and he was able to talk you into letting him take you home so you both could speak privately. The car ride was quiet and awkward because, of course, it was.

You’d gone home that night, and the next morning, he explained himself. It wasn’t a good explanation, but you had always believed in second chances, so you let him attempt to make it up to you.

That didn’t stop you from having your own insecurities, though. After the party, you had him under a microscope. Every party, if you saw him talk to another girl, you’d be pissed for the rest of the night. Chris wasn’t able to do anything with anyone of the opposite gender, all because you were scared he’d kiss them again.

This led to a plethora of apologies and Chris practically begging you to relax. Your jealousy and his prior infidelity made it impossible for you both to have a positive relationship. It had turned toxic extremely quickly, but eventually, it got better. After long talks, you both attempted to work out all the issues you’d had.

Tara’s party was the first party you’d gone to since then, which was a year ago.

Back to the present, you were still staring at each other with such hatred. It’s like that flipped a switch in Chris. He realized you were both still hanging onto the past and it wasn’t going to get any better if you didn’t heal first.

He sighed deeply before grabbing your hands lightly, dragging you out of the party. “What’re you doing, Chris? Look, you can stay, I don’t care.” you ramble, wanting nothing more than for him to enjoy himself.

He opens your phone and orders you an uber, without saying a word. He hands it back to you and you look at it, then back at him. “We need to talk tomorrow. When we’re sober and cooled off.”

You don’t say anything, but nod knowingly. Chris sits down on the steps, and you follow as the silence surrounds you. Unfortunately, the quiet had become a recurring theme in you and Chris’s relationship.

When the uber arrived, Chris walked you to the car, and opened the door for you. Before you get in the car, Chris kisses your forehead. You smile sadly at him. “I’m sorry.” you mumble.

“I know, love, me too.”

The next day, Chris showed up at your apartment. You could tell by his demeanor what was coming. You both knew. It was only a matter of time.

“I’m sorry. Us being together is not healthy. And I know you know. We need a break. I just- I feel like I can’t breathe. It’s not just your fault, I know that. But you and I both know this isn’t good for us.”

At first you were in denial, knowing how much you loved him. “We can fix this- please, we can figure it out, we always do.” you begged tearfully.

Chris shook his head, water brimming his eyes as well. “Baby, I’ve figured it out. We’re only hurting each other.”

“You’ve thought this through, haven’t you?” you ask, swallowing your pride and biting the bullet.

Chris looks down. “The truth hurts, baby.”

“Lie to me then.” You whisper. Chris looks at you and smiles sadly.

“Baby.”

“I know. I just think there are other ways to solve this, a way where we don’t have to leave each other. Tell me what I can do to fix this. Please. Anything.” you're sobbing now, feeling pathetic.

Chris pulls you into an embrace rubbing his hands up and down your back. Eventually, he pulls away, his own tears falling.

“Thank you for being the light of my life.” Chris says, grabbing his keys and heading towards the door. Before he walks out he turns to you and looks at you with sympathy.

“We almost made it.” And with that, he closes the door, leaving you in the deafening silence.

______________________________

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[clbrq]

VENOM — C. BROCK.

prompt; you and colby were toxic. your relationship was venomous and wicked. colby would constantly surround himself around flirtatious girls and spend less time with you. as for you, you had a serious alcohol and drug problem—always drinking whenever you got the chance or smoking weed in the back garden. you hated colby constantly entertaining other women, and colby hated your substance abuse. however, neither one of you addressed the issues. until one day, it tipped over the edge.

warnings; SMUT, hate sex, fingering, oral (giving), p in v sex, unprotected sex, rough sex, degradation, ANGSTY, substance abuse(alcohol and drug) disloyalty, toxic relationship, arguing, cursing/swearing, slight physical fight but not rlly.

contains sensitive themes. MINORS DNI.

“Ahh, that’s good.” You sighed, the smoke slipping past your lips as you spoke. The smell of weed filling your nostrils as you brought the joint back up to your lips to take another tote.

Smoking weed wasn’t always a recurring habit for you. You’d usually only do it at parties after a few drinks, or with your friends at night—but not anymore. You smoked almost everyday, feeling your body tense up when you went 24 hours without the high in your system. By this point, your tolerance to the drug was so high, that you rarely got extremely blazed anymore.

“Y/N?”

The sound of your name being called caused you to raise your head from staring at the burning joint between your fingers. The figure of your friend, Aryia, could be seen stood in the doorway of the back door.

“What’s up?” You smiled, your eyes feeling heavy as you spoke.

“Care to share?” Aryia teased, walking over to take a seat next to you on the patio chairs, placing one leg over the other.

Handing him the blazing joint, you shifted your body to face as him as he took a large drag, “Mhm, this is some good shit.”

“Why do you think I smoke so much?” You joked, thanking him quietly as he returned it to your fingers.

“You not having a good time?” Aryia pondered, his eyes boring into the side of your face as you glared through glass patio door, witnessing the loud party occurring in the house before you.

Your friends hosted a lot of parties, and usually you’d have a great time. But tonight, you’d been warned to not drink excessively. So what was the point in drinking at all?

“Nah,” You breathed out a large cloud of smoke, turning your head to face him, “I’m on a drinking ban.”

Aryia laughed at your words, “Man, that sucks.”

“Sure does, but, they never said I couldn’t smoke, though.” You winked, the two of you sharing a laugh as you handed him the joint once more.

The two of you shared a casual conversation as you finished the joint. Putting it out and rising from your seat, you and Aryia made your way back into the house—being greeted by loud music and the smell of alcohol.

You scanned the room for a certain someone, hoping deep down you wouldn’t witness what you secretly knew you would. And that’s exactly what you saw.

Your boyfriend, Colby, sat on the couch, a wide smile on his face as his arm rested comfortably on the back of it—talking extremely closely to a practically half-naked girl. She wore a large smirk on her face, twirling a strand of hair around her index finger and her other hand laid flirtatiously against his arm.

Rolling your eyes at the sight, you didn’t have the energy to fight him. This happened all the time—you were used to it. You knew it would blow up into a massive fight if you brought it up, so you stayed silent, just like you knew he did with your substance abuse.

Fuck your friends, you needed a drink.

Walking swiftly into the kitchen, you’re greeted by a few familiar faces as you grab a bottle of Jack Daniels—taking a long swig. Feeling much happier as the bitter drink flowed easily down your throat, you continued to chug from the bottle as you took a firm seat on a bar stool, your eyes landing on the horrific sight in front of you.

Colby hadn’t noticed your presence, not that it would matter, as he was too wrapped up in the conversation. The girl had now scooted closer to your boyfriend, her hands now resting on his chest, slipping under his button-up. Jealously sparked in your chest bitterly as he reached up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Feeling the buzz of alcohol and weed in your system, you shot up from your seat—anger bubbling in your stomach. Storming over to the couple, an expression of pure fury rested on your face. Once you approached them, Colby soon noticed you, backing away from the girl once his eyes landed on yours.

Without saying a word, you grasped his arm and dragged him to his feet, beginning to pull him away from the situation. Before you could make it far, a harsh grip on your arm stopped you.

“Wait your turn, bitch.” The girl spat, a scowl on her face as she attempted to take Colby back.

You laughed in disbelief, “He’s my boyfriend, you little slut.” You spat, your words slurring as you spoke, smirking as her face dropped, “Yeah, not such mouthy cunt now, are you?”

“Fuck you.” The girl mumbled, turning her back to you, ready to walk away.

“What did you say to me?” You pushed, letting go of Colby as you advanced towards her, rage filling your intoxicated body.

“Y/N.” Colby’s low voice warned from behind you, “Stop.”

“Shut up, Colby.”

“I said, fuck you.” The girl snarled back, facing you now, with a foul look on her face.

Slap!

She clutched her cheek in shock as she came to terms with what just happened. Followed by a stifled gasp as your fist grasped a handful of her hair, yanking it backwards, “Keep your slutty hands of my man, or else I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry, please let go!” She begged, her eyes wide open with fear.

Letting go of her hair harshly, you swiftly turned back around, ignoring the judgemental stares of the people surrounding you, and grabbed Colby’s hand dragging him upstairs for some privacy.

Leading him into his bedroom, you slammed the door, the adrenaline from your previous encounter still rushing through you, “Don’t think you’ve gotten out of this.”

“Gotten out of what?” Colby questioned, a teasing smirk on his face.

“You’re such a prick, you know that?” You spat, your voice raising increasingly as you spoke, not caring about who heard.

“And what, Y/N? The world keeps spinning.” Colby shrugged, an uninterested tone evident in his voice.

“But it doesn’t when I’m drinking?” You fire back.

Colby rolled his eyes at your question, “You’re out of control with your drinking, Y/N, not me.”

“And you’re not out of control looking to fuck anything other than me?” You shouted, your hands shaking from the anger coursing it’s way through your veins, “I mean for fuck’s sake, Colby, you’re fucked in the head!”

“And you’re not?” Colby screamed back, your feelings rubbing off on him, “You’re high all the fucking time and getting as drunk as a sailor any chance you can get!”

“At least I’m not a fucking cheater.” You growled, stepping closer to him.

Clearly, neither of you saw the unimportance of the back and forth argument you were playing—but continued to shout at each other until one of you gave up.

“I’ve never cheated on you.” He stated, his face scrunching up in disagreement.

Scoffing, “Oh, give me strength.” You laughed, lightly, “So, that downstairs was just two friends having a casual chit-chat, was it?”

“Exactly. Finally, you’re not sounding like a crazy bitch.” Colby waved his hands in your face, accentuating his words.

“Oh, fuck you.” You let out a breathy laugh, pointing a finger at him, “You’re quite possibly the worst boyfriend on this planet.”

“Oh, boo-hoo, Y/N. Grow up.” Colby mocked, shaking his head at you, “Until you realise you’re the one fucked in the head, this ain’t gonna work.”

“So, you’re suggesting breaking up after you continuously cheat on me? What a fucking joke!”

Colby edged towards you, his cologne filling your nostrils as you peered up to meet his eyes, “You’re the fucking joke, so don’t even play that game with me.”

“Go fuck yourself, Colby. You’re such a waste of space.”

Colby’s face dropped as the words left your mouth, the alcohol practically controlling your brain as you spoke.

“Say that to me again, and see what happens.” He threatened.

“Go. fuck. yourself.” You slurred, feeling delirious as you scowled at him.

A gasp was ripped from your chest as Colby slammed you against the wall, his arms holding your shoulders as he twitched angrily above you, “I swear to God, one day I’m gonna kill you.”

Feeling a throbbing sensation between your legs, your crossed your legs to attempt to stop the feeling as he shouted at you.

“Fucking do it, then.” You argued back, “You’ll be sat in your room for the rest of your life wishing you’d never hurt me. Wishing you’d done something sooner to save us. Sat there crying your cold little heart out wishing I was still alive.”

Before you could say anymore, Colby’s lips roughy connected with yours, your teeth clashing as he kissed you passionately. Moaning into his mouth, your hands flew to his hair as your body’s tension slowly subsided. Colby’s tongue pushed past your lips and slid into your mouth—tasting the infamous drug and drink on your tongue.

Pulling away, Colby glared down at you, “You fucking smoked again, for fuck’s sake, didn’t you?”

“Just shut the fuck up and kiss me.” You ordered, pulling the back of his neck down to meet your lips once again. Colby didn’t argue you back, feeling too aroused to care about your bad habits.

Still attacking your mouth with his, Colby moved you towards the bed. Moving his lips away for a moment, Colby forcefully ripped the small dress from your body, tossing it onto the floor as you hurriedly worked your way onto his belt. Quicker than you anticipated, all your clothes were off as you pulled Colby’s boxers down to reveal his achingly hard cock.

His hand reached down to your slick folds, rubbing your clit slowly as he grasped the back of your head, “Be good for once and suck my dick.”

“Yes, Colby.” You obeyed, your lips wrapping around his tip as you hand jerked the base of his cock.

Colby didn’t like this. With one swift motion, Colby pushed his cock to the back of your throat, laughing at the way your throat contracted around him as you gagged. Pulling you off him, you coughed and spluttered as you caught your breath, only to be punished once more as he returned his dick back into your mouth while protruding a finger inside your pussy.

Moaning around his cock, you licked the underside of his member—bobbing your head up and down as you sucked him. Colby’s finger curled upwards to hit your sweet spot, marvelling in the way you whined around him as his thumb rubbed slow circles on your sensitive nub. You whimpered as his hips moved back and forth—pushing his cock further down your abused throat as his fingers sped up. Bucking your hips up into his hand, tears fell from your eyes as Colby ruined your mouth—groaning loudly at the feeling of your warm throat.

“You don’t mind if I use your throat, do you, sweetheart?” Colby asked, smirking evilly as he knew you couldn’t reply. His hand tightened in your hair as he began relentlessly fucking your throat, while speeding up his movements on your clit.

You could feel the orgasm building up inside you as Colby slurred out a string of curses, your name and other degrading words.

“You’re such a fucking whore, aren’t you? You love fighting me just so you can get fucked.” Colby spat, followed by a hum of pleasure.

Your moans grew louder around him as you reached closer to your orgasm. Colby picked up on this, his fingers increasing speed as he coaxed you through it.

“Yeah, come on, baby. Cum for me, you fucking whore.” He growled, feeling you tighten around his fingers as you came around them.

The orgasm ripped through you so aggressively you saw stars, your jaw falling slack as Colby fucked your mouth harder, the pleasure coursing through him as your moans rumbled around him. Your slick coated his fingers as you came down from your high, a strange buzzing feeling taking over your body as Colby’s cock twitched in your mouth.

“Fucking take it, bitch.” He commanded, a loud groan leaving his lips as his warm load shot down the back of your throat as his hips stilled while he came.

Colby soon pulled out of your mouth, taking his fingers from your slicked pussy and bringing them to his mouth, sucking them clean as you swallowed his cum, “Mm, so sweet.” He hummed, “If only you were too.”

“Shut up.” You spat, wrapping your legs around his waist as he guided his cock towards your entrance, feeling him slid his tip up and down your folds, gathering the wetness onto him.

“Shit, Colby.” You winced as he harshly pushed his dick fully inside you, groaning as he felt you clench around him.

“So fuckin’ tight.” He muttered, slowly starting a rhythm as he thrusted inside you.

Your fingers threaded through his hair as he lifted one of your legs onto his shoulders, picking up the pace. Moans slipped into the air as his throbbing cock repeatedly abused the sweet spot inside you.

“God, I fucking hate you.” Colby muttered, his head lolling forward to connect your foreheads.

“Don’t stop.” You pleaded, feeling another orgasm creep up as your arousal soaked his cock.

Colby fucked you senseless, his hips not faltering once as he rammed into you—not giving you chance to even breathe with his pace. Your hands moved down to his back, your sharp fingernails clawing at the skin as you joined your lips again, indulging in the feeling of his mouth against yours.

“Jesus, I’m gonna cum.” Colby warned, pulling away as his hands flying to wrap around your throat, “You fucking bitch, god.”

“You’re the fucking bitch.” You fought back, dragging your nails extra harshly down his back, earning a low groan from him. Colby didn’t let that slide—he picked up his pace even faster, angling his cock to press inside you deeper, abusing your cervix.

“Mhm, I’m close!” You whined, screwing your eyes shut. Colby’s hand flew to your jaw, holding your chin unkindly.

“Look at me when you cum, Y/N.” He instructed, “Look deep into my eyes and remind yourself who you’ll love no matter what. No matter how fucked up we are, you’re never leaving me.”

You nodded rapidly, your eyes snapping open to meet his brooding stare, “You’re fucking mine, you hear me?” He growled, his cock still pounding deeply into your creaming pussy.

“Yes! Colby, I love you!” You shouted as you came around his cock, the words leaving your mouth before you could even realise it. The ecstasy took over your body as you blabbered, your back arching off the bed, your tits grazing his bare chest.

“Yeah, atta girl.” Colby praised, “You gonna let me cum in this slutty pussy?”

“Yes, yes, yes.” You mumbled, feeling numb as your hand trailed their way to his hair, pulling on the stands as his hips sped up.

“Fuck, Y/N.” Colby dragged out as he came inside you, shooting his large load deep against your cervix, making you whine as he filled you up.

Colby moaned lowly as his thrusts stopped, both your chests heaving as he pulled out, then laying next to you. Regaining your breath, you stood up and grabbed your clothes—suddenly sobering up and remembering the frenzy before your glorious fuck.

“Where are you going?” Colby muttered, running a hand through his sweat covered hair, narrowing his eyes at you.

“Home.”

“No.”

“Excuse me?” You sassed, stopping to look at him.

“I said no.” Colby replied, standing up and grabbing his boxers, slipping them on as he walked over to you.

His hand slid to your face and cupped your cheek, “You know I love you too, baby.”

Batting his hand away, you shook your head, “I only said that because I came.”

Colby laughed, “Don’t kid yourself. Now shut up and get back into bed.”

Rolling your eyes, you ignored him and grabbed your dress off the floor—before it was ripped from your hands, earning a string off curses from your lips.

Colby threw your dress across the room as he forcefully grabbed your face, “Don’t fuck me off again, Y/N. You know I fucking love you, and you love me. So stop being a bitch and get into bed, now.”

Knowing deep down you wanted to scream at him and walk out, the alcohol caught up at you as fatigue washed over your body.

“Whatever, you’re still a dick.” You murmured, pushing past him to climb into his bed, getting yourself comfortable as he pulled you onto his chest.

Colby pressed a loving kiss to your forehead as you closed your eyes, “You’re such a pain in my ass, but you’ll always be mine.”

“Fuck off.”

“Y/N.” Colby warned, his voice stern.

“Fine, I love you.” You said in defeat, trying to the hide the smile that crept onto your face.

“Good girl. I love you too, sweetheart.”

You sighed as you drifted off into a deep slumber, trying to enjoy the moment of tranquility. But, in the back of your mind you knew that tomorrow it would start all over again.

-/-

a/n: lmao y’all are gonna hate me for this one but toxic relationships aren’t toxic all the time. that’s why they’re so hard to leave—when it’s good it’s really fucking good, but when it’s bad it’s FUCKING HORRENDOUS.

AND YES IM BACK YAYYY

i’ve missed y’all sm, all your messages and support are so so sweet and im so appreciative of all of u. so thank you sm and yes some good shit is coming soon. i’m trying a new writing style and format for my fic so i hope you like!!!

b<3

tag list (comment to be added to see more content!);

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@reem6806

@cam1ly

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@nanascupid

@peachhiz

@samandcolby-ownme

[double--blind]

(SPOILERS) Andrew and plausible deniability, OR: mfer doesn't wanna be held accountable for his actions

This has been churning in my head for a while (I am mentally ill 🥴), but a large part of the driving force behind Andy and his actions is his aversion to blame. He sorta shares this w/Ashley (she's got quite a few rants abt how things aren't her fault), but I believe Andrew takes it just a step further.

I've seen many say this before, but from the start of the game, you'll notice that even beyond normal moral quandaries, Andrew's first objection to any horrific action Ashley proposes is usually a variance of "what if we get caught?". He objects not bc her ideas are ethically repugnant, but bc they could be found out as having done them, and he knows rationally that others know they're bad. This goes as far back as childhood with the Nina incident. He fears punishment and the threat of prison more than he apparently worries about what his crimes might mean for him as a person or what they might mean for the people that might be affected by them (save him and Ashley). This doesn't mean he doesn't feel guilt or have nightmares abt them, but they're not his first priority. Trouble's a pain to deal with, and the dude's low-energy.

In fact, most of his guilt seems largely self-centered. Like, no exaggeration: if it isn't about either him or Ashley (which is, in a way, lowkey also about him), then he couldn't really care less. Do you recall him ever expressing worry or remorse on Nina's behalf? Mourning her? We think Ashley's the one w/empathy issues, but Andrew's in the same boat imo. Self-preservation and self-interest is all that's keeping him seemingly amiable enough for polite society, bc for the most part, he really couldn't be bothered.

In his dreams, the victims of their murders are just bodies: interchangeable, holding no more meaning beyond the fact that they're dead. Any corpse's limb will do to replace the one Ashley cooked—never mind that they may be from different people—bc they're all the same to him. Even Julia, sitting in her dorm room surrounded by evidence of Ashley's harassment, gets no sympathy from Andrew. For the most part, he elects to ignore it all, and regards Julia herself with a detached sorta nostalgia tinged in no small part with apathy.

img txt: You'll never see her again. And the fact that it doesn't really bother you, bothers you.

(The only things of notable worth from her were the colored pencils on her desk, which he promptly takes from her to give to Leyley instead, and isn't that just some crazy symbolism right there?)

His fear of punishment goes hand-in-hand with his desperate pursuit of plausible deniability. Everything he does, he does under certain self-imposed conditions. If it's Ashley's idea and he argues back, it doesn't matter in the end if he goes along with it, bc it was Ashley's idea in the first place. He's just there to make sure she doesn't get them in trouble, bc she needs him, bc he's gotta take care of her. Even if it's not her idea at all (e.g., killing the closet warden, killing the lady in room 302), it's still her fault, bc he did it for her, bc everything he does, he does for her.

Ashley's a manipulative, evil lil possessive gremlin w/a soul as black as tar, and Andy's a doormat, but don't think for a second that part of him doesn't use that dynamic a little to keep from reflecting on what he is. He suffocates under it, but he also relies on it. If there's any sort of plausible deniability available, he'll take it and run with it.

The truth of the matter is that they're both deeply toxic, warped individuals. The difference is that Ashley's owned up to it and quite frankly doesn't care. Andrew hasn't. He's the "normal" one.

Now, for the funky incest part (what we're all here for babyyyyy)—

We've all seen the flavor text abt the bed-sharing by now, right?

img txt: Oh yeah, you tooootally have nightmares as often as you claim.

We know for a fact that aside from some light teasing, maybe, Ashley would have no problem whatsoever with sharing a bed w/Andrew. Heck, she'll coax him into bed (demo) or climb onto the couch with him (ep 2) w/o any prompting from him whatsoever, just bc she feels like it. Andrew, apparently, can't do the same. He doesn't allow himself this intimacy of his own choosing, so he has to lie and pretend to get it if he wants it. He's greedy for her, too, but he can't let himself show it.

If something is sufficiently too intimate in his eyes, beyond anything he can excuse away for some reason or another, then he'll stop himself from doing it. Just like how he wouldn't let himself succumb to the urge of pulling Ashley into his arms to make her smile, but is willing to give her a hug when she asks for it in front of their parents.

He insists on the extra expense of two beds, and then cites his nightmares and panic attacks as the driving force behind crawling into bed w/her, bc then it isn't really his fault now, is it? He tried to stay away, after all. He did! He just didn't have a choice!

Lol

Andrew can't admit to wanting this—buries those feelings and thoughts as deep as he can so they fester and bleed, the repressed idiot—so he gives Ashley all the power to decide how close they get. It's in Ashley's hands. He's free of that hassle.

Which is why the post-sex vision, and Ashley's reaction to it, is so dangerous. @csg-iii made a good point about it in my last post:

img txt: I think the biggest point about "11" is that Andrew asks/begs Ashley for reassurance that it will never happen ("never say never"). It's a subtle admission that if she really wants it to happen, he knows he won't be able to resist his own urges. His only ""hope"" of avoiding going there is if Ashley doesn't want it.

Andrew, in absolving himself of this choice and putting it in Ashley's hands, shoots himself in the foot, bc what if Ashley goes the whole mile? Then the only real thing keeping his desires unrealized was the fact that they had never been voiced as an option before.

He doesn't want to think of himself as someone who'd bone his own sister. Forget being a cannibal, demon summoner, or a murderer; those titles were foisted upon him. This is too close to something real that he carries inside him; this isn't anything Ashley's buried in him, but rather something of his own invention. Something he'll definitely have to take responsibility for.

[puff0o0]

Tags: @simp4konig @shoukiko

Cw: You may cry happy tears, it's sad fluff

Ghost was never a man who adored being touched.

The PTSD of his past, the trauma on the field, the fear of letting people get too close.

It prevented him from being friendly with strangers and even friends. Recruits never ever got to touch him, a simple brush can make him look at you weird, even if he doesn't mean to.

He scans everything, focused on his surroundings and making sure danger is not where near him or the other soldiers at base

To touch the lieutenant with even a pat, you had to be in his inner circle like the 141 was or like how you were.

But now he was at home, fresh out of deployment and straight into your arms as you noticed a couple new scars on his arms and you couldn't help but frown.

You knew this was war and that it was just how war worked, soldiers would get injured, but it didn't mean your heart didn't feel heavy at the thought that he was in pain

Your hands running through his hair created a feeling he hadn't felt from anyone in a very very long time. He lowered his head so you could get a better angle as you poured the shampoo into your hands, rubbing it together before applying it to his head.

Your soft hands being gentle as you massaged his scalp slightly and played with his hair a little, a comfortable silence between the both of you in the shower as all that could be heard was the water hitting the floors of the tub.

He allowed you to wash his hair, his walls being down and allowing you in for just this moment before they raised again and kept you out.

You made him smile, you made him trust you, you made him feel love.

Just one look at your smile and it's as if waves washed over his problems and took them to the bottom where he could forget about them for just a moment. Your jokes and sarcastic remarks to him were some of his favorite things, you matched his energy almost always and he adored it.

There was nothing to hate about you.

His hazel eyes looked to yours, maintaining eye contact as he saw how focused you were. His eyes softened without him realizing, your brows furrowed in concentration and your lips pursed in focus.

You looked so beautiful.

You cared for him so much and he had no idea what to think of it.

He wasn't used to this kind of care, most of the care he got was friendship, never true love. He only ever knew toxic love, seeing how his father would treat his mother was all he ever thought of when it came to love and yet you managed to shed a whole new light to it

Your eyes reminded him of someone for just a moment.

Fuck, who?

Ah, his mother's eyes.

They held the same gentle gaze and love that his mother showed him and his brother, the only parent in his childhood that cared for him and was there for him in even the darkest of times.

Seeing that reflection of her is your eyes made him feel something, something that overwhelmed him to the point where he frowned slightly.

He missed her.

[honeytonedhottie]

prepping for the next year⋆.ೃ࿔*:･🫧

welcome to a brief guide on prepping for the next year in ur life to be fruitful <333

REFLECT - take the time to look at where u are right now, look at the habits that you've picked up and engrained into ur life, then depending on where u wanna be, decide which habits to keep and which habits to get rid of. make a list if u want a visual representation

start HABIT STACKING. habit stacking is a technique that was mentioned in the book "atomic habits" which i highly highly recommend. so basically the concept behind it is starting a habit that'll trigger a domino effect of positive habits. "a technique where u form new habits by pairing a new desired behavioral change with an already existing behavior you routinely do"

EXAMPLE : in the morning the first thing i do is i brush my teeth, my brain knows that as soon as i've finished brushing my teeth, i'll reach for my head-band and cleanser and begin to wash my face. the action of brushing my teeth created a domino effect because ik that after brushing my teeth -> i wash my face

GOAL SETTING - think about ur dream life, how it feels, looks etc u already know how to manifest, if ur on my blog or around this side of tumblr chances are u probably know about law of assumption and how it works. take some time to learn and apply it so that u can manifest ur dream life. and who you wanna be (build that SELF CONCEPT)

DAY-TO-DAY - make sure that ur prioritizing ur health above all and knowing what will you be doing on the day-to-day basis? what do u want it to be like, what is ur ideal quality of life? think about habits that'd align with it. for example if something u wanna experience in ur day-to-day life is energy in surplus then you'd look at ur habits and think "am i sleeping enough" or "whats my diet look like"

YOUR CIRCLE - take a look at the people that u surround urself with, their characters, their aspirations and habits and if that aligns with the life that u want for urself. for example if ur constantly surrounding urself with someone who is lazy or toxic, you'll subconsciously be influenced by their laziness and toxicity. the saying "you are who u surround urself with" is so true! surround urself with like-minded people or people that you'd want to be with in ur dream life.

some things to practice to improve urself :

self discipline (its like a muscle, the more u exercise it the stronger it becomes)

hydration (drink some water <333)

gratitude

thinking consciously (thinking from the wish fulfilled = ur manifestation coming into fruition)

reading (or listening to audio-books if reading isn't ur cup of tea)

[dear-bunnyboo]

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐍𝐄: 𝐖𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐊𝐄 || 𝐉𝐎𝐄 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖

important note: my face claim will be madison beer but you can imagine whoever you desire. also the songs mentioned are not all technically all madison’s i will be incorporating other songs from other artists.

all the pictures seen below are not mine, however they were edited by yours truly. credits to the owners.

and just like that, all hell breaks loose 🫢 (hope this makes you guys temporarily forget that bae played like ass last sunday 🥲)

side note: I am really proud of this chapter. so proud that it might be my current favorite <3

𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Joe Burrow x Singer!Reader / Brief Ex!Jack Hughes x Singer!Reader

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: Can Joe save you when everything comes crashing down?

𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: angst, cursing, haters, rumors, liar!Jack, toxic ex, crying, angry!reader, media, joe being a sweetheart, light fluff, flashback, protective!Joe

𝐒𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐌𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐌𝐢𝐬𝐜. 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 || 𝐍𝐇𝐋 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

This week has been proven to be challenging for you.

Halfway through your tour you have a mandatory rest week as you’d like to call it— not only for yourself but for every single people involved behind the scenes as well, they have been working as hard as you were, if not even more.

You were a workaholic, and a day off is enough for you to get recharged. Which is why you were finding it so hard to get through the week— you were itching to perform. You had to distract yourself with a pen and paper for your own sanity— writing helps release the energy and tension from your body.

It’s only been two days since the rest week started and you were silently going insane. It doesn’t help that Joe just messaged you saying that it was their bye week of the season— you really didn’t know what to do with the information he gave you. You are more closer to Joe now than you were before, from the frequent late night talking, FaceTimes, texting— and you loved it. You just didn’t know what his break had to do with you— until he spells it out for you.

I’m coming over

He texted you this an hour ago. Joe has been over your house before and vice versa— you were continuously teased by Y/BF/N which really wasn’t a surprise to you. Your best friend has declared herself the president of the Joe and Y/N Fanclub and it’s borderline psychotic but you love her anyways.

Again— this week is a challenge.

Joe was coming over and you found yourself wanting to throw up— you had zero clue as to why your stomach was hurting and why your palms were getting clammy. You placed your palm on your forehead, lightly feeling for a fever but with no avail.

You have been refusing the feeling for months now.

You hated it.

It was happening all over again. The same feelings, the same outcomes. It was bullshit.

Those damn butterflies that died that night seemed to resurrect from the dead every time you talked to Joe— every time he laughed and smiled at you the butterflies not only show up but get trampled by a stampede of animals.

Sitting cross legged on your living room sofa as you waited for the quarterback— you looked around your surroundings. Around you was littered with papers with scribbles of your panic writing, your electric guitar discarded right next to you. A ding broke you out of your thoughts and upon looking down on your phone, you see another message form Joe.

I think you’ll really like my surprise, lovebug.

You were gonna throw up— a butterfly is about to come out of your mouth.

Yeah?, well, color me intrigued.

Tossing your phone away from you, you wiped your sweaty hands on you sweatpants and continued writing— you were writing with so much fervor that your handwriting started to look like you were writing a medicine prescription but you understood it.

You understood it.

Lovebug

Joe started calling you lovebug a couple months ago when he came over your house for the first time.

You and Joe were talking animatedly about your favorite SpongeBob episodes on your couch. The two of you just finished watching the first SpongeBob Movie and now you both were just geeking out and giggling about iconic episodes.

“Nothing will top the chocolate episode. Still makes me laugh out loud till this day.” Joe chuckles as he placed his arms on the sofa just behind your head— he wasn’t touching you but you felt the heat of his body by how close you two were sitting. The feeling was somewhat more intimate than actually being touched— it was the longing for it that was getting to you.

“The episode where they performed at the Super Bowl halftime was my favorite! I thought that would be your favorite. Nothing will ever top that.” You bounced on your seat, facing Joe even more now— looking at him like he grew three heads for not picking that episode as his favorite.

The quarterback laughs at you as he watched your eyes grow wide in excitement as you talked about that episode, “Ok, ok! That’s a great one as well, I’m not gonna lie.” He put his hands up in surrender but before you could even reply back to him, you caught sight of something moving from your peripheral vision— turning your head slightly, you spotted a tarantula climbing up your sofa and with no hesitation whatsoever you bolted out of your couch screaming.

Joe looked at you alarmed, immediately standing up and walking towards you slowly in concern, “What’s wrong?” He carefully eyes you with his beautiful baby blues— if it weren’t for the predicament you found yourself in you would have turned red but you didn’t have time for that. You pushed Joe away from you, your eyes still trained on the spider as you directed Joe’s body to face the insect.

“There is a huge spider, Joe!” You whisper-yelled, trying your hardest not to yell as you inched your back towards the wall. Joe, however, turned to look at you with a grin on his face— you gave him a look as he continued to look smug.

“What!?” You scolded him.

“You’re scared of spiders?” He asked in both a concerned and amused tone.

“Gee, Joe— no I’m thrilled. That was me screaming in joy.” You blurted out sarcastically, slightly pushing him towards it again as you hid behind his towering figure, “And that is not a spider, that’s a fucking Pokémon at this point— get it out!”

The blonde, laughed at your attitude— just now meeting this new persona of yours, you’ve always been so sweet to him that this side of you was amusing him. Sassy— he liked it.

“Joseph! Are you just gonna stare at me? Or are you gonna actually help? That thing basically owns the house at this point— please, Joey.” And there it was, the sweet side Joe was just thinking about, Joe shook his head and smiled at you before moving towards the insect.

“You know, it’s also scared, right? We probably look hideous to it as well.” Joe consoles you while you continued to watch him quietly reach his bare hands to catch the spider— which were as big as his hands.

“Congrats, you’re a Disney Princess.” you rolled your eyes at him— there was no convincing you when it comes to spiders.

Joe just let out the biggest laugh at your sassiness, “You’re the funniest person I’ve ever met.”

“I’m here all night.” You stuck your tongue out at him.

He struggled to keep the spider in place as he carefully wrestled it around his palms as the spider stared squirming. You slowly inched closer to the couch now that Joe has reached your front door, “Be careful. Don’t hurt it— I want it out of my house not dead.” You muttered but Joe heard you loud and clear, earning another a warm smile from him.

“Look at you— I thought you were worried about me for a second but it was for the spider. Who’s the Disney Princess now?” Joe winked at you before walking out of the front door to get the spider out.

Joe saunters back in shorty looking smug as if he just wrestled an alligator out of your house. Placing himself next to you back on the couch he looks at you in amusement and before you could give him an attitude— Joe raised his hand up to remove the stray hairs out of your face, your hair slightly disheveled after running for your life.

You remained still as you watched him watch you— Joe was looking at every single part of your face as if he was memorizing every inch of you before muttering something under his breath. It was so low that you missed it.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you asked, “What?” You managed to breath out.

“Lovebug”

His baby blue eyes finally meeting yours. You sat stunned— not knowing where all this was coming from.

“What?” You started to sound like a broken record as you asked him again.

“You’re such a lovebug.” The quarterback shrugged before removing his hand off of your face, now facing your TV as he tries to move on from the situation. Joe must have felt your eyes still on him as you tried to process and understand what he just said— what he was trying to say.

“You’re full of love. You’re such a good person. Just a few months of knowing you and being your friend and I’ve noticed how much love you have to offer— it’s amazing really. You are terrified of spiders but you didn’t want it dead, unlike some people would.” Joe shrugged shoving chips in his mouth as if he didn’t just say the sweetest things to you.

“Joe, that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. Thank you.”

“It’s true” he nodded at you. “Lovebug is scared of a little bug.” Joe continued to joke earning an exasperated look from you.

“That thing was not little, Joe. It was practically a grown adult.”

You remembered the feeling you felt when he told you those things that night.

You understood how fucked you were.

You understood how this could be another one of your biggest mistakes, you continued writing on the paper— words, phrases, lyrics were spewing out of you as you continued to think about that night— the TV not even distracting you for a second.

You didn’t know why your heart was feeling this way. How it could start beating the way it is as if it wasn’t beaten and bruise— you didn’t understand why this was happening to you.

All of you thought that love off the table.

So why?

The heart is resilient— love is resilient. It can suffer for years, it can be broken and used over and over again, it can be shattered into pieces, it can make you feel numb— but then it surprises you when it flutters again. Flutters from the happiness, the giddiness, excitement, and even love— again, it’s resilient.

You’re brain however, it’s logical. It has stored all the memories; the good, the bad, the traumatic into specific file cabinets— it gathers information from your previous experiences and helps you stop yourself from going through those same experiences again.

Your heart was telling you to go for it while your brain was telling you to let it go. They never seem to listen to each other but they also couldn’t live without each other— the heart and the brain, just another love story.

Your doorbell rang pulling you out of your thoughts. You quickly gathered yourself together before standing up to answer the door— opening your front door, you were met with Joe who has one hand in his pocket while to other one was hiding a paper bag behind his back.

“Hey.” And just like that he single-handedly managed to get the butterflies in your stomach to awaken from their slumber.

Holding to door wide open you gave the man in front of you a smile, “Hey, you.” You greeted Joe before side stepping to let his huge frame in— as he walks in your house you addressed the paper bag clasped in his hand.

“What you got there?” You nodded your head towards the bag, looking up at him in curiosity as he placed himself down on your sofa. Joe took a quick look down at the bag before reaching out to hand it to you.

“It’s the surprise I was talking about.” Joe eyes you up and down, his eyes feeling like lasers as the heat started to build up throughout your body. You simply shook your head as you sat next to him— carefully opening the paper bag.

A peak of yellow was seen— pulling the huge box out you were met with the new Bowser Lego set that you have been looking to buy for a while now; it’s been sold out everywhere. One of the many surprising things that you’ve learned about Joe was that he loved Legos which you found exciting cause you had a mild but concerning obsession with Legos.

You eyed the box with wide eyes before looking up back at Joe who was looking at you amused— you couldn’t contain yourself so you launched yourself on the quarterback and tackled him in a hug.

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I don’t know what occasion it is for you to give me a present but I’m not complaining!” You muttered excitingly in the crook of his neck as Joe squeezed you back in return, laughing at your explosive reaction.

“There is no occasion— and I have connections.” He said proudly before slowly scanning the papers scattered in front of him.

You let out an over exaggerated gasp, “You have Lego connections?” your eyes widening even more as you scooted closer to him— all your undivided attention now on him.

Joe nodded as he chuckles at your excitement, “Can I know those people, please?” You begged hoping the man next to you would give you what you asked for.

“I’m your Lego connection. I’ll buy you all the Lego you want— you have me.” Joe answers his eyes still trained on the papers in front of him as he tried his hardest to understand your manic handwriting.

“I do have you. That’s sweet.” You looked down on your lap smiling.

You hate yourself

“You have me.” Joe mutters under his breath.

You hated him.

You hated everything— why is this happening to you?

You hated how easy it is for your heart to love again. You hated how your body reacted to Joe— he could breathe in a weird way and you’d find it cute. You hated how you folded for a man who could easily disregard you like they all did.

You wanted to cry.

You hated how scared you are, it’s almost a year since the cheating scandal happened and you were still scared— you weren’t scared of falling, you were scared of crashing.

Trying your hardest to swallow the lump that formed in your throat, you turned to look at Joe who was quietly trying to read your lyrics— in a flash, your hand swooped down and compiled all the paper towards you.

“Uh uh, these are potential songs— no spoilers for you.” You tutted at him as you arranged the folded and crumpled pieces of papers in your arms.

“I couldn’t read them anyway. You have terrible handwriting, Y/N.” He teased as he eyed you for your reaction which you immediately responded to.

“Hey! I have very pretty handwriting. It just so happens that my brain was spitting out too many ideas at once that my hand couldn’t keep up.” you raised your chin high up— looking up at him, you’re eyebrow raised as to challenge him to disagree with you.

“Alright. I believe you.” The quarterback flicks your chin up with his fingers as he took a quick good look at you— Joe finds himself doing that to you a lot recently.

“Anyway, are we gonna make my baby Bowser? Or not?” You gave him the most childish smile you could muster making Joe smile back at you warmly before smirking, a mischievous look covering his handsome face.

“I thought you were gonna ask if we we’re gonna make a baby.” A huge grin twitching to form on his face and in turn you remained still looking at the man in front of you with wide eyes— your mouth opening and closing however, words weren’t coming out of your mouth.

“Maybe next time, lovebug.” Joe continued which shocked you even more. You had never expected that Joe Burrow would be like this prior to meeting him— he looks like such a serious man who means nothing but business. In fact, before meeting him you were sure that he had zero personality, you doubted it’s existence. You were so sure that football was his only personality trait, but now here he was making sex jokes— or was he flirting?

“Joseph Lee Burrow!” You yelled at him before smacking him on the shoulder with the box you were holding— the contents moving around making clanking noises inside the unopened box.

“Ow! I’m joking— but yeah, let’s make your baby Bowser.” He jokingly mocks you while he rubbed his shoulder that you had just hit.

That’s how you found yourselves the next couple of hours— playing with Legos.

You two were sat on the ground on the carpet, finding it more comfortable to work there than your expensive couch. The two of you worked in silence— unless when you two found yourselves singing along the songs in Joe’s playlist.

The bass to Future’s song Codeine Crazy was blasting in your speakers as you and Joe finished Bowser’s legs— you were bobbing your head to the beat as you mindlessly danced in your spot, your eyes solely focused on the manual in front of you— you were too focused that you failed to notice Joe watching you with a fond smile on his face.

What didn’t go unnoticed to you though was the reporter reporting celebrity news on your TV. Before Joe arrived, you were flipping through the channels on your TV looking for something to watch when you decided to leave it on ENews while you continued writing— ultimately you were now regretting that decision.

“New Jersey Devils’ star player Jack Hughes finally speaks up regarding his very public split with Grammy Award winning singer Y/N Y/L/N.”

Apparently this doesn’t go unnoticed by Joe as well who was now watching you as your eyes shot up and remained glued on the screen in front of you.

“Almost a year after videos and pictures surfaced of NHL star Jack Hughes kissing a unknown woman— Jack finally breaks his silence. We interviewed Jack after his game last Saturday against the New York Rangers and the 22 year old had a few things to say about the situation.”

“I just want to clear everything once and for all. You’ve only heard one side of the story. After three years of dating Y/N, never once did I cheat on her— when those pictures came out we were already broken up for a few months, so there was no cheating.”

You’re hands were now shaking while your chest moved up and down in an abnormally fast pace— the Lego piece you were previously holding was now disregarded on the table. Joe— you could barely hear him trying to call out for you. You were solely focused on the TV.

“I hope this stops the baseless rumors, the false narrative that has been put out through the songs— I don’t appreciate it.”

“Why do you think Y/N would lie?” the interviewer asked.

“I don’t know. She has been getting cozy with Burrow— maybe she’s projecting but I do wish her all the best.” Jack chuckles as he gives the interviewer a smile.

Silence

Joe managed to find the TV remote and turned it off but it was too late— you heard everything you needed to hear. You would have heard about that interview regardless, the internet is fast.

“Y/N.” Joe’ stern voice broke the silence. You failed to realize that he was now crouching right next to you.

The soft touch of his hand drawing circles on your back managed to bring the tears out to surface. You felt the burning pain in your chest that you’ve grown familiar with the past couple of months— everything came crashing down on you like the waves during a storm.

“He’s lying.” Was all you’ve managed to muster up. You’re voice was now raspy from the struggle of trying not to break down and cry.

“He’s lying.” You said again, more so to yourself— trying to calm yourself down.

“I know. I know. I believe you.” Joe reassured you while he continued playing with your hair. The blonde’s words shocked you. Why would he believe you? Why should he believe you?

“Why?” You sniffed looking up at Joe, you’re eyes getting more blurry as they filled themselves with tears.

Joe remained calm offering you a comforting smile before gathering you into his arms— he was now sitting behind you with you in between his parted legs, his arms wrapped around your entire torso as he gently pushes you backward to lean against him.

“We haven’t known each other for that long, Joe. How do you know that what he said wasn’t all true?” You pushed releasing a shaky breath not understanding why he is choosing to blindly trust and believe you.

The quarterback doesn’t know about Jack, he knows that you just recently ended a long term relationship but never the specifics— unless he researched you prior which seems uncharacteristic of Joe and unlikely at that.

“I believe you because you wouldn’t be acting like this if you were lying. I believe you because if you were lying, you wouldn’t tear up every time you performed a certain song. I believe you because if you were lying, you wouldn’t have a distant look on your face every time you get reminded of your ex. I believe you because I know you not him.”

The tears that gathered in your eyes finally fell. You were crying again— sure, Jack caused it but you were crying because deep down you knew that you were falling again, for someone who’s talking to you as if you were the most precious thing in the world, someone who unbeknownst to you have been watching your every move.

“He’s ruining my life. He keeps hurting me, Joey.” Sobs wracked your body as you curled up against his chest. “Shh, you’re okay, you’re alright. No one can ruin anything for you or hurt you without your consent, lovebug.” Joe coos as he tries his best to remove the hair that was now sticking on your face from the tears.

The ringing of your phone pulled the both of you out of your little bubble that you’ve just created, grabbing your phone you see Y/BF/N and Trevor calling you for a group FaceTime, quickly answering the call, you started to cry even harder— the overwhelming things that just had happened in a matter minutes getting to you.

“Y/N?” Your two best friends started in unison, their faces filled with concern as they finally saw the state you were in.

“Hey, Popstar.” Trevor gave you a sad smile as he tried to make you smile back at him.

“He’s a fucking liar, Z.” You looked at them sadly, your tears now falling slower than before but consistently.

Trevor looked at you defeatedly as he was just as hurt and disappointed at Jack as you were. He didn’t know why Jack would do something like that to you— he didn’t understand why he cheated in the first place. When Trevor confronted him that night, Jack stated that he was drunk and he didn’t mean to do it, that he wanted to apologize to you and take you back but still continued to date the same girl he cheated on you with and now this— lying to the world, turning the story around. Trevor was just as pissed.

“Y/N, I want you to breathe, okay? I already contacted your publicist for you and I’ll be back there by tomorrow— we’ll figure it out. We always do.” Y/BF/N calmly but sternly confronted you. Y/BF/N went back to her hometown for a couple of days to meet her family which is why she wasn’t with you currently like she always was.

“I know. It’s just people are gonna think I’m a fucking liar now— and that I cheated on him. He fucking implied I’ve been talking to Joe while we were dating and that I was projecting.” upon the realization that Joe’s name was brought into the conversation, you cried even harder.

You didn’t want Joe involved. He doesn’t deserve to be involved in such nonsense— he already gets bombarded by questions about you, now he’s gonna be apart of cheating allegations.

“No one is gonna believe that asshole, Y/N. Sure his die hard fans who wants to jump his bones might but that’s it— he’s dumb.” Y/BF/N explained.

“How do you know that?” You blurted. The pain and anger now reaching the surface ready for you to explode. Thankfully, Joe was quietly listening— his fingers slowly drawing patterns up and down your arm, whispering sweet nothings in your ears that could turn you into a melting puddle if you weren’t so angry right now.

“Because! We were all at that golf course a few weeks before the pictures of Jack cheating came out, remember? The paparazzi got photos of you two latched to each other like a couple of leeches, Y/N! Don’t you see? Jack didn’t think his plan through properly. People won’t believe his bullshit story about you two breaking up months prior and everyone knows you and Joe met after the fact.” You could kiss Y/BF/N through the phone right now. She was right. A few weeks before the drama exploded on your face; you, Y/BF/N, Trevor, Cole, Alex, Jack, Luke, and Quinn went out to play golf together— the day after that the tabloids had pictures of you and Jack together full on PDA.

He’s a dumb motherfucker and that dumb motherfucker is dead to you.

“So, do me a favor— grab your pen and paper and start your magic. I hate seeing you cry because of that fucker. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Joe don’t think I can’t see you, take care of her please.” Y/BF/N gave a stern look through the screen.

“I will.” Joe curtly answered before squeezing you tighter making you melt into him even more.

“Are you telling me the Joe Burrow has been right there this entire time? I’ve been looking at your zoomed in face when I could be looking at Joe Burrow?!” Trevor voices out, moving his head side to side as if he could get a glimpse of the NFL player that way.

You slowly inched your phone away from your face, Joe’s face now appearing on the screen earning a literal gasp from the hockey player.

“Oh my god, hi!” Trevor waves at the quarterback earning a chuckle from Joe and a small smile from you.

Trevor looked at you with a grin after finally making you smile, “I have a game against the Devils this week. I’ll bash his head in against the glass for you.” Trevor said his voice now serious as ever, along with a determined and pisses off look on his face that you only see during his games.

You only hummed in reply before deciding to bid goodbye to your two best friends— lyrics floating around your head waiting to be written out of anger.

“Your friends are sweet.” Joe comments once the call ended, now watching you as you pulled out new blank pieces of papers— both of your positions unchanging, in fact you two were even closer than before.

“They are— you are too.” Turning to meet his intense gaze you managed to give him a genuine smile as you watched him watch you.

Joe was holding you so close and so gentle that it made your heart ache in a good way. “Thank you.” you whispered.

“You can talk to me, always.”

And that’s what you did. Not moving from both of your places, you told Joe everything. From meeting Jack to losing Jack— you told him everything. You shed a few tears as you told him how bad it hurts, how it broke you— you told him how scared you were, how scared you are now of love— of falling in love; and Joe listen. He quietly listened as you poured your heart to him, until Joe caressing your arms and him whispering reassuring words to you slowly lulls you to sleep.

The energy you drained from writing your songs and from crying pulled you into a slumber. You remained motionless in Joe’s arms— your back leaning on his chest as he circled his arms tighter around you, protecting you from the world as he watched your chest steadily move up and down, your soft snores filling his ears making him smile.

Joe enjoys your company. Meeting you was one of the highlights of his life— you were a breath of fresh air. You were so beautiful inside and out, you were funny and witty— the banter and conversations you two would have kept him on his toes. Joe never once denied what he felt and he knew he will have to work hard for you to believe his feelings especially now with how fragile you were— Joe cares for you and he hated how your smile instantly dropped after hearing the news, he hated seeing and hearing you cry which is why as he watches you sleep in his arms, he carefully pulled out his phone.

Joe was just as pissed as you were and everyone will know that.

𝐓𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫

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