#and now I get to dance in a little validation circle of not feeling crazy anymore

[seeminglyseph]

Todd in the Shadows jumping in with the steel chair of fact checking to make my weekend complete

[atinymonster]

tears and kisses

ateez 9th member.

when jiyu and sunwoo are given the chance to make up with one another.

the way i sort of got carried away but hehe it’s okay 🥺

➴ taglist: @banhmi07, @jiyeons-closet, @jaeminpeachy, @mochibabycakes, @euphoriamingi, @marsophilia, @goddessofdestructionbeast, @studioreader, @dkdlwhs12

➴ masterlist

"Wait, this is a horrible idea, Eric.”

“No it’s not, calm down Sunwoo. You look like you’re about to puke,” Eric rolled his eyes at his friend’s dramatics.  

“Because I am!” Sunwoo whisper-shouted as to not distract their manager who was currently driving them. 

A week had passed with no signs of reconciliation between Jiyu and Sunwoo. Which meant a week of Eric and the other boys dealing with a sulking and brooding Sunwoo who scrambled for his phone at every notification that he received. Even during the live broadcast for Kingdom, his members could tell how much he wanted to approach Jiyu, but his hesitance held him back. 

Eventually, he decided enough was enough for the sake of not only Jiyu and Sunwoo, but for the sanity of everyone else who so desperately wanted the two to make up. 

“Alright guys, we have a plan!” Eric and Haknyeon suddenly declared in the middle of their dorm living room. 

“What plan?” Hyunjae asked before a lightbulb went off in his head. “Oh, for our brooding rapper over there?”

Eric nodded. “Precisely.”

Sunwoo rolled his eyes, yet he couldn’t ignore the small spark of hope that ignited in his chest. He had been wracking his brain all day for the past week on how to apologize to Jiyu, but he was afraid she was still angry with him despite her small smiles and encouragement towards him during the recent Kingdom live broadcast. 

“I texted Wooyoung, and he said everyone else was willing to help us. Without Jiyu’s knowledge of course.”

“What if she’s still angry at me?” Sunwoo groaned, burying his head into his hands. The closer they were to arriving at KQ, Sunwoo felt the stress and anxiousness weighing down on him even more. 

Eric stifled his chuckles. According to Wooyoung, Jiyu worried about the exact same thing, which was the main reason why neither of them were able to make the first move to reconcile. “Wooyoung told us Jiyu wasn’t angry anymore. He said she was feeling regretful if anything.

And he was right. Despite Jiyu’s attempts to try and act like her normal, everyone could tell her mind was elsewhere with the amount of spacing out she’s done.

The recent offline fansign they had was the hardest for her, having adorable comments about Sunwoo being thrown at her so often. All she could do was smile as a response, even if all she wanted to do was break down and cry. The boys all took turns looking out for her, and they felt a pang of guilt whenever they overheard an ATINY talk to her about Sunwoo.

But what could they do? Nothing. Jiyu had told them numerous times that she didn’t want to raise any suspicions, and that she didn’t want to bring the mood down since it was their first time seeing ATINY in person after a whole year.

The boys hated seeing her so lifeless and saddened when they didn’t have any schedules, so when Wooyoung received a text from Haknyeon asking for their cooperation in getting the two together again, he wasted no time informing the others (minus Jiyu) and gaining their approval.

“So what choreography are we learning today?” Jiyu asked, plopping down onto the floor while waiting for Wooyoung to choose a song on the practice room monitor.

Every so often on their free days, the two would take the time to learn another group’s dance together for fun and to keep their dance skills sharp. Not that Jiyu minded; dance was an escape for her, and she could really use a dance session at the moment to clear her head. 

Wooyoung knew that, so he used the dance session as a way to try and lift her spirits, as well as a way to keep her in the room so she didn’t bump into Sunwoo prematurely.

“I’ll teach you Don’t Call Me! I need a buddy to dance with and we can record it to show ATINY later,” he answered, peeking at his phone every so often to keep an eye out for a text from one of the others to let him know when Sunwoo would arrive.

[hongjoong] is everything okay so far?

[wooyoung] yep! she’s still with me in the dance room :)

[san] great! now let’s all pray the two of them make up soon...i don’t like seeing baby monster so sad :(

[yeosang] yeah, it’s weird when she’s all frowning and not her usual bubbly self

[hongjoong] i know, it’s weird not having her voice resonate through the dorm everyday...

[hongjoong] anyways, we’ll direct sunwoo to practice studio 2, so send jiyu there too when we text you again later

“Who are you texting?”

Wooyoung felt his heart stop the moment he looked up and saw that she was about to peer over and read the text messages. Turning off his phone, his mind was scrambling for a valid excuse. 

“Nothing, San just started spamming me with messages again,” he chuckled, letting out a discreet sigh of relief when she believed him. “Come one, let’s start!”

Jiyu’s ability to quickly pick up choreography was both a blessing and a curse. This was one of the rare times where Wooyoung found it a curse. She was able to learn the first verse all in ten minutes, and Wooyoung only learned up to the end of first chorus to teach her. At this rate, they were most likely going to finish before Sunwoo even arrived.

“Okay, let’s take a break? I’m sure your body still hurts from practicing for Kingdom.” Wooyoung said, trying to mask how frantic he was. Luckily, she agreed, sliding down the wall and resting her head in his shoulder before letting out a sigh.

“Feeling okay?” he asked, patting her head.

“If I’m being honest, not really. I just...miss him,” she quietly admitted, her chest tightening as various emotions began to overtake her mind. She never talked to any of the boys about how she was really feeling, not wanting to burden them with her personal problem. While she was extremely grateful that they tried everything within their power to cheer her up, she didn’t want them to feel obligated to stick with her every second of the day just to make sure she was okay. 

Wooyoung bit his lip. He felt a sense of guilt for not being able to tell her that Sunwoo was on his way over as they spoke. “Do you want to talk to him?” 

Jiyu touched her now-empty wrist, missing the weight of the bracelet that she had thoughtlessly left behind at Sunwoo’s studio. “I won’t lie, I do want to talk to him again...but does he want to talk to me is the real question.”

Before he could reply, he heard his phone’s ringtone go off—his cue to send Jiyu to meet Sunwoo. His heart started to pound in anticipation for the moment they’ve all been waiting for. Fishing out his phone from his jacket pocket, he couldn’t stop the small smile that spread across his face, a smile that didn’t go unnoticed by Jiyu.

“San again?” she giggled, completely unaware of who and what was waiting for her just down and around the corner of the hall.

“No, uh, Seonghwa hyung wanted to do a VLIVE, but the wifi connection’s acting up again. Can you run over to practice studio 2 and help him out?” he asked, mentally apologizing to Seonghwa for hinting that he was an old man for not knowing how to fix a simple wifi connection (when in reality, he most likely knew how).

He must’ve been blessed with luck for the day because Jiyu agreed without hesitation or suspicion, mumbling about how she swore she showed him how to reset it a few weeks ago. 

A few minutes after she left, the practice room door opened and the others, along with Eric, quietly filed into the room to join Wooyoung in anxiously waiting for the outcome of their little plan. 

“Mission accomplished!” Yunho whisper shouted with a little grin. 

“We can’t say that yet. Not until we know if they made up or not,” Seonghwa reminded. Deep down, he was worried for Jiyu. Should the outcome be one that they weren’t hoping for, he knew Jiyu would be strong, accept the results, and push through. But how would she really feel deep down?

It was a mutual concern of their’s. They knew Jiyu would never want to worry them, they knew she’d just keep how she really felt to herself if things went downhill, so they really hoped with all their heart that everything would turn out alright for her. She couldn’t lose another person she loved, it wouldn’t be fair for her.

While the boys were waiting in the practice room, Jiyu made her way down to the studio. It was odd, Seonghwa never mentioned anything about a VLIVE today, but given how often she’s spaced out the past few days, she wouldn’t be surprised if his notification went in one ear and out the other.

“Seonghwa? I thought I showed you how to reset the wifi—”

The words died in her throat when she opened the door and instead of seeing Seonghwa, she saw the one person she’s been missing like crazy. She was convinced it was a hallucination that her mind had conjured, or that she was dreaming. 

“No, no, shut up mind, you’re not doing this to me right now,” she mumbled to herself with her eyes closed, about to close the door and open it again in hopes that she’d see Seonghwa instead of Sunwoo sitting at the monitor table. 

“Hey, hey.”

Before she could close the door, Sunwoo held it open before pulling her inside and closing the door. 

And that’s when it hit her that he wasn’t a hallucination. She felt the warmth of his hand on her’s when he pulled her in, and she felt his body’s warmth and his breath on her shoulder when he pulled her in for a hug the second the door closed. 

Sunwoo noticed how she tensed when he brought her into his arms, and a pang of sadness shook within his chest. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled, feeling his eyes water. He tightened his hold on her, afraid that she would disappear if he loosened his grip. 

Feeling his body tremble, her arms moved on their own, gingerly wrapping themselves around him and her hands drawing small, comforting circles on his back. Tears pricked at her own eyes but she refused to let them fall. 

Basking in the warmth of each other’s arms, no words were exchanged. They just silently rocked side-to-side as Jiyu tried to comfort the boy in her arms. 

Despite her calm exterior, she was a mess on the inside. Her heart was pounding in her chest from having the presence and warmth of her beloved back while her mind tried to find the words to say. 

“I’m sorry, too,” she managed to say even though her voice started to crack from trying to keep her tears in. There were so many things she wanted to say, but she couldn’t bring herself to.

Lifting his head from her shoulder, tearily chuckled before bumping foreheads with her. “Hey, don’t cry.” he mumbled, feeling his heart break at the sight of her crying. He’d never seen her cry before, not even on the night of their fight. 

But his words seemed to only encourage her tears and before she realized, she felt the tears slipping down her cheeks and the small sobs wracking through her body. She felt relief crash into her; relief that this all wasn’t a hallucination or a dream, and relief that he wasn’t there to break up with her.

Sunwoo sniffled before stroking her cheek to wipe away the river of tears, all while gently shushing her and whispering words of comfort. Once he felt her breath start to even out again, he guided her to the chairs and sat her down in one while he sat on the other. Jiyu couldn’t look at him, but the tight grip of her hands on his conveyed everything.

“I’m sorry for that night,” he quietly said, rubbing circles on the back of her hand with his thumbs, “I should’ve just asked you about it rather than assume and take out my anger on you like that. And—” 

He paused, feeling his throat tighten as he remember all the horrible words he said. “I’m sorry for accusing you of being unfaithful. I really don’t think of you like that, I swear.”

Jiyu cupped his face in her hands and raised his head so he was looking at her. His bambi eyes were now filled with tears again, and it sent ripple of sadness throughout her chest. “It’s okay, I forgive you,” she cooed, using her thumbs to wipe away the stray tears that escaped his eyes.

“And I’m sorry for lashing out at you, too...and for saying things would’ve been better if we broke up.”

Sunwoo didn’t respond, but the way he nuzzled his face further into her hands answered for him, and she let out a little giggle. He felt the corners of his lips tug upwards at the sound of her laughter; he had terribly missed the sound. 

Another moment of silence passed before Jiyu started to speak again. “My brother’s my only family left.”

Sunwoo’s eyes widened before they wandered to find her own. Taking her hands away from his face and resting them on his own again, she took a deep breath before continuing. “My parents died in an accident when I was three. Jiyong and I were the only survivors so we were sent to Guangzhou to live with our grandparents. That’s why we’re so affectionate with each other...we’re all we have left here in Korea.”

No matter how many times she spoke of her family, it never got easier. There was still the stinging pain in her chest, the guilt she carried around for years always started to resurface, and the anxious feeling that the person would think less of her when they found out about her broken family.

But Sunwoo just brought her in for the tightest hug he’s ever given her and buried his face into the crook of her neck. He knew she didn’t tell him that to make him feel worse about himself, but it still broke his heart when he realized he had accused her of cheating when in reality, she was with the only family she had left. 

Countless apologies left his lips as Jiyu carded her fingers through his curly hair. No matter how many times he heard her whisper that it was okay, it didn’t ease the guilt that consumed his mind.

“I told you because I trust you. You didn’t even know, so please don’t blame yourself.”

It took a few minutes for her to soothe him, but she didn’t mind. She missed hugging him, she missed feeling his body against her’s, she just missed him. Too busy caught up in her thoughts, she missed how he fumbled around for something in his pocket before feeling a cold sensation wrap around her wrist. Looking down, she couldn’t control the smile that grew on her face when she saw the familiar white bracelet. 

“I think this belongs to you, lovebug” he chuckled, satisfied when he saw a genuine smile instead of the forced ones she gave him during the live broadcast.

Her heart swelled with happiness at the nickname that she thought she’d never be able to hear again. “Thank you, sunshine,” she returned the nickname, an indirect reassurance that they were okay, that everything was okay. 

With him still hugging onto her, she leaned down to place a quick kiss on his cheek, laughter rumbling from her chest when he started pouting and claiming she missed.

“I don’t think I missed, Woo—” 

Before she could even finish, she felt him swiftly readjust their position so that he was pressing her against the chair, his hands firmly pressed onto the armrests to keep himself up. “I think you did, love,” he smirked before leaning down and pressing his lips against her’s.

It wasn’t their first kiss, but she still felt the volcano of butterflies erupting, fluttering around in her stomach. She wrapped her arms around his neck when one of his hands gently grabbed onto the side of her neck. 

Pulling away, Sunwoo placed one last kiss onto her forehead before getting up and offering his hand out to her. “Come on, let’s go tell everyone the good news,” he giggled. It always threw her in for a loop at how he could switch from looking like he wanted to devour her back to an adorable puppy in a few seconds, (although Sunwoo could say the same about her). 

Taking his hand and letting him hoist her up, she held him back before he could walk towards the door. Looking back and cocking his head to the side, he swore his heart almost stopped when she smiled up at him. 

“I love you, sunshine,” she said, her aura resembling a puppy that had it’s tail happily wagging.

Eyes filled with adoration and affection, he smiled before leaning down to peck her lips one last time. “I love you, too lovebug.”

[shugojima]

𝗔𝗸𝗮𝗮𝘀𝗵𝗶 𝗞𝗲𝗶𝗷𝗶 🍋♀️

Sensual play✔︎

Very soft✔︎

Aftercare✔︎

Condom cause he smart✔︎

Praising✔︎

♡︎

You were out with your friends. Those usual party nights you spend together, searching for a boy to fill you up. Yes, that's how much of a hoe you were. You just compensated your depression with dick. Some good dick made you forget about all the problems you had so why not making this a regular?

Dancing with some halfways attractive stranger you felt yourself getting thirsty. No, I don't talk about that kind of thirsty... hoe.

Walking your way to the bar you pushed some people aside and sat down to order your drink.

"Just give me something strong, please."

This lead to nothing. Not with this guy you thought. Also he seemed to be soft asf and you needed to get destroyed so why bother?

"Wanna talk about it?"

A soft but deep voice rang in your ear when you looked to your side and saw a pretty damn attractive guy. Black hair... beautiful, tourquise eyes... glasses... Damn. You had a thing for glasses. You thought those made every man look ten times hotter.

"Oh, sorry. Akaashi." he reached for your hand and you took it.

"Y/n... What made you think I need to talk?"

Smiling a little he said

"You just ran away from a guy you wanted to sleep with for whatever reason but figured it's not worth it, so you came here and ordered a strong drink to forget whatever is on your mind. So I just guessed you'd probably need someone to talk to."

"Well shit. You got me there... what a whore, huh?"

Sipping on your drink you tried to wash away the last blowjob you gave two hours ago as he looked at you kinda worried.

"Do you do that often?"

"Huh?"

"I mean using dick to cope with something."

You looked at him raising a brow.

"What are you my therapist?"

"You're right, I shouldn't have asked that. That was rude of me."

"Well, you certainly give off therapist vibes. With that look on your face, those glasses.. also what are you doing with pen and paper in a bar? Taking notes already?"

You felt you were getting comfortable due to the alcohol. He laughed a little and said

"Valid question, I guess. I'm a manga editor. That's just my worksheet. Usually I do that at home but I felt like I needed a drink."

The way he used his words so carefully and his overall behaviour made you wonder how high his IQ is.

Certainly a smart man and to be honest, that was a rare breed around here.

The two of you kept talking for over two hours and you really had a lot of fun. It wasn't the usual shit talk, nothing too flirty more deep. You also told him that he was right and you were actually just looking for a rough fuck but gave up hope when you noticed that guy was definetely a bottom.

Also... you were a little tipsy by now...

And that's where it started.

"So you think in order to forget everything around you, it has to be extremely rough?"

You looked at him confused. Well sure it has to be?!

"Uhm... yes? I mean... I at least never really enjoyed that soft shit. It's just... ughh idk I just like it hard."

A warm smile on his face your eyes met and his gaze was so intense, it send shivers down your spine. No way you would be able to break eye contact. Wow... just... wow. You felt like he was able to read your mind, look straight through you. He definetely had something about him. Something special that made your mind go blank.

"That isn't true."

"What?"

"I said that isn't true."

Who tf does he think he is? Thinking he knows what you like or not?

Looking into your eyes, no... basically into your soul, he said

"Sensual sex is something you need the right man for. You need to connect on a high level and feel real attraction. Not just to his dick but also to his personality. If you ever come across that man... Think of my words."

You sat there, mouth slightly agape and you didn't know why but his words somehow affected you... that deep voice, the way he spoke, its was erotic. No other way to put it. So you couldn't help but eventually press your legs a little together.

Sure, he noticed your reaction. He's a smart motherfucker after all...

Slowly placing his hand on your thigh he said

"That's what I was talking about. And I only used my words." He winked at you and you were already a puddle.

Blushing hard you almost spilled your drink when he broke eye contact first.

How did he do that? How could he get such a reaction out of you just by talking to you? Not even doing dirty talk, just by stating facts.

"How... I-...how?"

"Skill." He laughed.

TIMESKIP

"Make yourself at home, love. You relax a little I'll be right back."

You nodded and got a little comfortable on his bed. Sitting there you realized you had never been so nervous before you had sex.

Something was different this time and you were sure it was a positive change.

You knew each other for only about 4 hours now and you felt like you were already close friends. It was weird and if you'd believe in such things you'd say he's your soulmate.

The way he spoke about that connection people need to have... that had to be it.

When he came back he had more comfortable clothes on and a bowl with ice cubes in his hand as he sat himself besides you, placing the bowl on the carpet.

"How do you feel?"

"Good, I guess... not that drunk anymore."

"That's great to hear." he smiled as he leaned in whispering with his dark voice

"Because I want you to be sober enough to feel everthing to the fullest. Everything of me."

Gulp

"You're so nervous again just because of my words... You probably really love dirty talk, am I right?"

Eyeing me closely he didn't need an answer tho.

"Nevermind... Your legs are pressed together just like they were two hours ago."

Blushing hard you tried to act normal and keep your composure but that was absolutely impossible when he guided you onto his lap and looked deep into your eyes, through his black framed glasses. His mouth slightly open, not even half an inch from yours.

"If I'm doing it right, you're about to feel heaven, my love."

You wanted to feel his lips on yours so bad so you leaned in but he hold you in place, his hands on both sides of your head.

"No kissing. Heavy breathing can be just as erotic."

And that it was...

You just stayed like this, breathing in and out on opposite times, basically exchanging breaths. The air around you heating up rapidly as you closed your eyes and enjoyed this intense feeling.

"Can you feel the tension?" he breathed into your mouth before kissing you so sensual yet full of lust. He slightly bit your lower lip when he slid his tongue into your warm mouth, one hand on your back, the other slowly running through your soft hair.

You felt nothing less than loved in this exact moment and you already forgot about everything that made you feel so terribly sad earlier.

Never did a kiss feel so good.

When your slick lips seperated he leaned to your ear and whispered

"I can hear your heart beating."

Wanting to get rid of his glasses you stopped him in his tracks.

"Can you... leave the.. glasses on?"

Smirking knowingly he put the glasses with his middle finger back up the bridge of his nose.

"You like that, hm?"

"Y-yes... they.. look good on you."

"Note taken."

Carefully placing you with your back on his sheets he gave you a soft kiss on your forehead before he stood up.

"What.. are you-"

"I'm sorry, love. I don't do it raw."

"Oh r-right.."

Rummaging something in his drawer he put the shiny package on his bed side table before crawling up on top of you.

Your heart was beating out of your chest and you didn't even know why. He was a stranger after all. Someone you just met and still he made the butterflies in your belly you didn't even know you had, go fucking wild.

Your hips between his legs he slowly started to unbutton his grey and blue plaid shirt when you looked away blushing.

"Hey, eyes on me." He commanded softly, continuing with the last 3 buttons.

I'm sure my eyes had hearts in it by now when I saw his ripped body. Fuck... he was so hot. Those toned abs, perfectly on display with the low light that shone on them, leaving a little shadow under every muscle.

"My god..."

"And you wanted to look away in shame."

He smiled when he threw his shirt on the soft carpet near his bed and leaned in on you.

Kissing you again he carressed your deep red cheek and whispered

"Let me show you what real sex feels like."

You got the chills when he started to trail a path of soft kisses down your neck and sucked a little on your skin every now and then. Slight gasps leaving your throat he breathed heavily against your skin.

"You're so... so sensitive to my touch... "

"Wait.." You breathed out, wanting to get rid of your shirt as well so he could kiss you further.

Quickly taking it off so he can continue making you go crazy.

Holding you in this half sitting position he asked you if he could take off your bra as well when you nodded.

Skillfully opening it with one hand while his other cupped your cheek. He didn't stop kissing you until he layed you back down and took a moment to fully capture your feautures.

"You look absolutely beautiful, Y/n."

"Thank.. you, Akash-"

"Keiji."

Leaning down on you again his soft fingertips explored your body. Carressing along your neck, your collarbones, your breasts... before he pinched your hard buds slightly. Moaning softly you closed your eyes to make the feeling even more intense.

"Do you feel comfortable, love?"

"Y-yes... nghhh.. very much so.."

A warm smile on his face he reached for the bowl with ice cubes and put one into his mouth. Playing around with it a little until it completely melted he started licking circles around your bud. His cold tongue driving you crazy when he sucked slightly.

"Nghh... K-keiji.. that feels so good.."

Feeling his smile against your skin his hand found its way down your belly... to your skirt.

Hovering above you again he kissed you once more.

"You know where else that feels amazing?"

Melting another ice cube in his mouth he lifted your hips from the sheets and slowly took of your skirt along with your soaked panties.

Going down on you his cold tongue parted your slick lips making you throw your head back and moan loudly.

"Right here."

"Fuck."

He licked slowly but greedily along your wet slit, evetually sucking on your clit before he slid a finger inside and looked up at you.

"You're soaking wet, love. I thought you can only enjoy it the hard way?"

Inserting another finger you arched your back as you grinded on his fingers. Desperate for more.

Desperate for him.

"Keiji... I- I need more..."

"Is that so?" he smiled, curving his fingers inside making you scream as he hit your sweet spot.

"M-more... please!"

Pulling out slowly he licked your juice off them

and opened his belt before he stepped out of his jeans and pulled down his boxers.

"Holy shit."

Chuckling he went "Thanks I guess?"

He reached for the shiny package on the little table and opened it with his teeth before rolling it onto his hard cock.

Can we talk about how fucking big he is? Lord help you were thinking of calling an ambulance in advance.

"You know... I don't have to be rough on you to have you drowning in pleasure. There's no need to be when you know which bottons to push and when."

He said as he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose when he leaned in on you and was close to your lips again, his eyes drilling holes into yours you felt his tip at your entrance.

"Right now you're craving my cock so bad that you'd basically do everything just to feel it rubbing against your walls. And I like that a lot. Not that I'd dare taking adventage of your miserable situation."

"Put.. it in... please, Keiji! I can't anymore!"

You whined as you tried to lower yourself onto his length just for him to grab your hips and hold you in place.

"Why are you so impatient, my love?" he breathed against your lips, pushing just his tip inside.

"Nghhh fuck! Please!!! Please I need more, Keiji!!"

"Remember this moment."

One deep thrust inside you screamed in heavenly pleasure, your eyes shut close and your back arching.

"OHH MY...GOD!"

Smirking at your reaction he took your hands and intertwined your fingers, holding them down besides your head when he started moving slowly.

"To me at least... It looks like you're enjoying it a lot."

His thick cock stretching you out to the limit, low growls leaving his mouth as the sounds of his balls hitting your ass and the squelching sound of your soaked pussy filled the room.

You were in heaven.

He brought heaven to you.

An endless rush of endorphines fluted your body as he teached you his way of pleasure.

He knew exactly what he did, how to do it and when. Noticing every little reaction coming from you and knew what it meant.

This man was a drug.

And you were about to get fucking addicted.

♡︎

Guys... I had to do a cut. This is getting sooo long and I really love how it turned out.

It's so sensual and sweet my heart is a puddle.

I will upload the second part as soon as possible.

Soft Akaashi is gold

����🛐

[momsopposed2theoccult]

A Very Special Night

Hey everybody! Here’s a quick oneshot I wrote where Toph and Su help Lin get ready for her school dance, because we deserve more happy Beifongs and Lin getting the love and support from her family that she was denied in canon. Enjoy! 

“So, are you nervous? You must be nervous, you’re not eating.”

Lin looked up from her plate at her sister’s words. It was true, she was nervous. Her dinner lay untouched on her plate, as her stomach was in knots.

“Eat up, baby girl. You can’t dance on an empty stomach. Well, I suppose you can, but you shouldn’t,” her mother chimed in. 

“No, no, I’m not nervous. I’m just… excited, that’s all!,” she lied, something her mother picked up on immediately. 

Toph’s expression shifted into one of concern.

“What’s wrong, Linny? This is a big night, you should be over the moon right now,” she wondered. 

It was true, tonight was a big night. When her school at first announced that they were going to be hosting a formal, Lin decided right away that she would not be attending. She was a horrible dancer, not to mention socially awkward, and she didn’t know the first thing about getting dressed up. It wasn’t until one of her oldest and quite frankly only friends, Tenzin, had decided that he wanted to go and as his best friend she was obligated to go with him was she convinced to buy a ticket. 

Lin wasn’t sure why she felt like her heart was gonna beat out of her chest when he asked her to go with him. It wasn’t like it was a date or anything. She had known Tenzin forever. This was just a friend thing, she repeated over and over again in her head, although the mantra didn’t do much to rest her fast beating heart. 

“Promise you won’t laugh at me?”

“Promise,” Toph and Su assured her.

“Well, I have a dress and shoes and everything, but I’m still not really sure how I’m going to do my hair and makeup. You know I’m not good at that stuff,” she confessed, blushing. 

Su perked up. “Oh, that’s easy! I can do it for you, I’m great at that stuff!”

It was true. Su had always had a keen and stylish eye that her visually challenged mother and dorky sister lacked. Maybe Lin should have felt embarrassed that her ten year old kid sister knew more about these things than herself, a girl of fifteen, but she was honestly just grateful for her help. 

“Here, I can do it right now no problem,” Su offered. The sisters got up from the table and began to make their way upstairs.

“Hey, girls! Aren’t you gonna finish your dinner?,” Toph called out.

“Yeah, yeah, we will in a bit. But this is more important!,” Su shouted back from the top of the staircase.

The girls made their way to the bathroom, where Su sat Lin down on the closed toilet seat. She pulled out a hairbrush and assorted hair elastics and then plopped herself down on the edge of the bathtub behind her sister. 

“So, you and Tenzin?,” she asked suggestively as she brushed out Lin’s hair. 

Lin began to blush. “What about me and Tenzin?”

“Is this a date?”

Lin’s face lit up bright red. “Wh- what? No- no we’re just friends. We’re going to the dance as friends. Not a date. Why would I be going on a date with Tenzin?”

“Because you have a huge crush on him?,” Su said knowingly, as if this should have been obvious.

“No! No I don’t! Who told you that anyways?”

Su rolled her eyes. “Nobody told me, silly! I figured it out myself. You make it pretty obvious, you know.”

“No I do not! I do not make it obvious because I do not have a crush on Tenzin!”

Su sighed. It appeared she was going to have to bring in the big guns.

“Hey Mom! Does Lin have a crush on Tenzin?,” she shouted down to Toph in the kitchen.

“Su! What are you doing?,” Lin asked her sister angrily, a warning tone in her voice.

Toph laughed. “Well duh! She’s had a crush on him since she was like, what? Five? Six?”

Lin’s face was growing redder by the minute. “Mom! Why would you say that? I. Do. Not. Have. A. Crush. On. Tenzin.” 

“Sorry baby girl. Deny it all you want, but your heartbeat always goes crazy for that airhead. Don’t worry, he likes you back,” Toph called up to them from the kitchen.

“What?,” Lin shrieked, although she couldn’t deny that she didn’t entirely hate the idea. She more than just not hated it. She actually… well she could actually get used to the idea. Tenzin having a crush on her. 

Su giggled. “Keep still, I’m trying to do your makeup. Unless you want me to poke you in the eye with this thing,” she joked, waving the mascara wand in front of her face. 

Lin rolled her eyes. “I don’t think I would mind having my eyes poked out right about now. And maybe gag me with a spoon while you’re at it.” 

Five minutes and lots of eye goop later, Lin had been transformed into a thing of beauty. That’s not to say that she wasn’t already beautiful as she was, but it wasn’t as if Lin put a ton of effort into her appearance on a daily basis. She told herself that it was because she had more important things to worry about, but in reality it was mostly because she always felt as if she couldn’t really pull it off. 

“Here! All done! You look absolutely gorgeous, Tenzin is going to love it,” Su told her with pride. 

Lin took a look at herself in the mirror. Her sister hadn’t been lying. Her dark hair was done up in a low bun at the base of her neck with a braided crown circling her head. A blue lotus blossom poked out from behind her ear to match the shade of the shadow on her eyes. Her lips were glossy, and her cheeks blushed a faint pink.

She looked fantastic. 

“Wow, Su. I don’t even know what to say. Thank you.”

“My pleasure!,” she replied with a smile.

“I’m gonna go put on my dress. How about you go downstairs and help Mom figure out the camera?” 

Su gasped audibly as Lin emerged from the top of the stairs several minutes later. Her beautiful blue qipao dress perfectly matched the flower tucked behind her ear, and it made her look and feel like a star. 

“How do I look?,” she asked nervously. 

“Wow, Lin. You look amazing!,” Su exclaimed.

Toph walked up to where her daughter was standing and cupped her face with her hands, tracing her features softly with the tips of her fingers. She had to reach up and pull her face down to her level, as Lin had undergone quite the growth spurt within the past few years and had shot up well above her chronically short mother. 

“Gorgeous. You’re gorgeous.”

Toph began to tear up a little. “I can’t believe my baby girl is all grown up. Where does the time go? It feels like just yesterday I was holding you in my arms for the very first time.”

“Yeah baby girl, where does the time go?,” Su repeated in a light mocking tone, although there was no real malice behind it. 

“You’re growing up too, little miss beauty parlour,” Lin reminded her sister with a laugh, but she was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. All of a sudden, the nerves she had been keeping at bay all came flooding back to her. 

“He’s here! Okay, you guys cannot embarrass me.”

Toph threw up her hands defensively. “We wouldn’t dream of it.”

“Mom, that means you can’t try and interrogate him like he’s some criminal. And Su, if you mention anything about this being a date or how I have a crush on him, I’m going to have to kill you later,” she warned her family. 

“Got it. Scout’s honour,” Toph swore.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it,” Su agreed reluctantly. 

Lin took a deep breath and opened up the door. 

“Wow, you look fantastic!,” Tenzin exclaimed, blushing. 

Lin began to blush herself. Tenzin had gotten pretty dressed up. She was surprised to see him in a suit, normally he wouldn’t be caught dead in one unless his parents forced him to. 

“You look pretty good yourself,” she complimented him. 

Su waggled her eyebrows suggestively behind Tenzin’s back, and Lin shot her a warning look.

“So, Tenz. Bring my daughter home in one piece, will ya? We kind of like her around here.”

“Oh yeah, of course Aunt Toph!”

Toph raised one eyebrow at him.

“Oh- uhhh- I mean- uhhhh- yes. Yes ma’am. I will do that,” he stammered. 

“Good man,” Toph validated him with a nod of her head, apparently unable to resist an opportunity to take a power trip. 

“Let’s take pictures, and then you guys can go have your fun,” Su giggled. 

Lin rolled her eyes at her sister, but obliged to take a few cheesy photos of her and Tenzin posing together. 

“Alright, we better get going or we’re going to be late,” Tenzin warned.

“Right. Okay, I’ll see you in a few hours, bye!,” she said, waving goodbye to her mother and sister. 

“Have fun, kiddo! Don’t spike any punch, at least not without me there to make fun of the aftermath!” 

“Bye Lin! Bye Tenzin! Have fun on your date!,” Su called out as the door slammed shut.

Lin shot a look at her sister, but it was too late. Tenzin had heard.

“D- date? Is this a date?”

Lin’s face burned bright red. “I mean- n- no. Unless you want it to be?”

Tenzin went quiet for a moment, as if he were thinking it over.

“Yes, yes I do. I do want this to be a date. But I mean, only if you want it to be.”

“I think I do.”

Tenzin’s entire face lit up, and Lin felt herself begin to grin as well. Perhaps school dances weren’t so terrible after all.

[reyescarlos]

there’s no way (that it’s not going there)

for my love @sulkybbarnes on your very special day. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARA! my goodness, i’m so glad the universe created you. how lucky we all are that you exist! 💕💜

word count 3.6k || read on ao3

We just dance backwards into each other Trying to keep our feelings secretly covered You touched me and it's almost like we knew That there would be history

As he sits with Michelle inside the Ryders’ backyard, the heat of the late summer evening still kissing his skin, Carlos smiles in contentment at the sight of all his colleagues turned friends and even perfectly good strangers all bound by their shared love for Grace and Judd. It’s because of them that they’ve all gathered today, to celebrate the Ryders’ vow renewal. It’s the perfect atmosphere in every sense, one of joy and festivity.

A few feet away, the happy couple mingles with the small gathering of their family and closest friends. Grace’s melodic laughter soars a note or two higher than the jazz music playing. Judd’s arm is slinked around her waist and Carlos can only stand back and admire the ease to which they orbit around each other. This is what years worth of love looks like. Carlos knows it can’t always have been an easy road, that all marriages— all relationships for that matter— are never without their hardships. But if it leads to something even vaguely resembling this, Carlos wants it at whatever cost.

He’s always been a hopeless romantic, swept up in the belief that finding the right partner could be a salvation. It’s not a sentiment the men he’s seen care to ascribe to. The world of dating hasn’t always been kind to him with Carlos almost always chasing after people who proved themselves adverse to being caught.

He’s vowed to himself repeatedly that he won’t fall down that rabbithole again. But what he hadn’t accounted for was meeting TK Strand, a man that makes Carlos willing to make an exception. TK has only been a part of the fabric here in Austin for a few weeks but he’s already managed to work his way into Carlos’ heart and mind. He hasn’t been able to shake his thoughts about the firefighter since their night at the honky tonk. The attraction he had for TK was instantaneous out on their call earlier that night but it’d only strengthened as they danced later. Ever since, there’s been this energy between them that neither has addressed. But it exists as a third party, living in each stolen glance, each quick retort traded between them like currency.

He and TK have been at this for weeks on end, this constant back and forth where they say so much without actually saying anything at all.

That’s all it ever takes, just one look to light the match. It’s a wonder they haven’t both been consumed by the flames though Carlos would argue he’s been coming dangerously close these last few weeks. At first it was fun, a casual flirty game between the two of them but now Carlos has been getting restless.

He takes in the sight of TK standing with his father under the back awning. Carlos can’t stop himself from giving him a once over, eyes roaming from top to bottom shamelessly. It’s truly a pleasant view with TK dressed up for the ceremony and looking far too attractive than any man has the right to.

“Carlos, if you stare any harder you just might strain those pretty brown eyes for good,” Michelle teases, her hand cupping her chin as she rests her elbows on the table, following where his eyes linger.

Carlos sighs and ruffles his hair slightly, forcing himself to look away from TK and back at her.

“Is it really that obvious?”

Michelle snorts out a laugh, covering her mouth and laughing even harder as Carlos groans.

“Aw, come on, no, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh but my god, Carlos. Do you really think either of you have been subtle this whole time? Anyone that’s spent so much as ten seconds around you both since he blew into town could call it.”

Carlos lifts a brow. “So you see it from him too? It’s not just me, right?”

“Absolutely not. To be honest, I’m actually shocked you guys haven’t hooked up already. It’s long overdue, my friend.”

Carlos picks up his glass for something to do as he thinks it all over.

“I think I just want it to mean something. Maybe that’s dumb, I don’t know but I really like him and we’ve been...in this weird limbo with each other. I don’t know what his endgame is here.”

Michelle tilts her head to the side, casting her glance off Carlos over to TK once more. He’s still caught up in conversation with Captain Strand. The younger Strand must have said something hilarious because Owen cracks a hearty laugh.

“You could do the totally crazy thing of actually talking to him and finding out what his deal is. He seems really into you. He’s been staring at you all night when you aren’t looking and who could forget that night we all went out? I think you got him hooked pretty fast. Reel him in already.”

Carlos chuckles at the analogy but even he can admit Michelle makes an extremely valid point here. This hasn’t been all in his head. Even if they’ve both managed to successfully avoid talking about it, it’s clear that there is something that they’ve been eluding from the moment their paths crossed.

“Screw it. You’re right. I’m going for it.”

Before he can lose his nerve, Carlos sets his glass down and rises from his seat. He can feel the reassuring press of Michelle’s hand on his forearm just before he leaves the table and begins the short but daunting walk over to where TK is standing.

Captain Strand notices him approaching before TK does and the man makes a move that Carlos isn’t expecting. He locks eyes with Carlos and in that brief bit of contact, there’s recognition of some kind and Owen seemingly excuses himself from his son.

Owen walks towards him and gives a polite nod of his head. “Evening, Carlos,” he says as he passes, not slowing down at all and leaving a clear path to TK.

Carlos doesn’t have the time to mull over the implications of this gesture but he makes a mental note of it, marking it as something to investigate later. His main pursuit now is a particular firefighter who has been weighing so heavily in his thoughts for weeks now.

This unspoken thing between them needs to be addressed once and for all. TK looks far too good tonight for Carlos to keep this little game of cat and mouse going any longer. Coming on too strong has more or less always been his problem but this is something he desperately wants and Carlos knows he can’t hold back beyond tonight.

TK soon notices him and stays in place, a slow smile inching across his face. By the time Carlos nestles in beside him, it’s a full on grin. It’s so reminiscent of the first time they ever hung out outside of work. Then, much like now, they were surrounded by this crowd of coworkers and people he’ll more than likely never see again. But it’s all just background noise, so inconsequential in comparison to his primary focus right now.

“Hey,” Carlos greets. It isn’t exactly the smoothest or most captivating thing to say but it had been enough that night out the bar and Carlos is hoping that it’ll prove itself useful enough again now.

TK looks briefly at the party at large, eyes pulling away from the throng of people dancing to Carlos and Carlos’ sense of déjà vu threatens to overwhelm him for the briefest of moments. But he focuses up once more as TK looks at him fully, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

As always, the man’s expression is playful as ever, as if he knows something Carlos doesn’t. Carlos has no doubt that TK is taking a trip down memory lane right now, too. How they were always finding themselves in a scenario like this was beyond Carlos’ comprehension then but it hardly matters. It serves as the perfect ice breaker for them now, a nod to the night that truly set things in motion for them. It makes this feel like a full circle moment, as if everything over the last few weeks has been leading to this.

“Wanna dance?” Carlos asks, tipping his chin towards the other guests bopping to the music.

TK’s eyes roam over his frame but Carlos doesn’t waver or back down. It’s merely part of the script they’ve been reading off of for weeks now. He’s confident that TK will accept, just as he had that night at the bar. The only difference now is that TK’s display of reluctance isn’t him genuinely debating the merits of taking a chance and saying yes, at least Carlos hopes that is the case. They have enough history between them at this point that Carlos feels safe in guessing that they’ve moved beyond that. Now it’s simply banter, a call back to that night.

“Yeah,” TK says after a moment, his perfectly white teeth trapping his bottom lip.

Carlos doesn’t even attempt to downplay how much he notices this, his own lips parting slightly before he pulls his focus back to the task at hand.

Carlos leads them to the makeshift dance floor just as he had that night of the honky tonk. TK falls into step with him, the two dancing along to the uptempo number playing throughout the yard. It’s all too easy to tune everything and everyone else out as he feels both their guards lowering even further. TK is all smiles and it’s the most infectious thing ever.

They dance for a while together, their smiles growing bigger with each new song that plays. Carlos is breathless and yet he can’t seem to stop himself from moving. But a new song comes on, the opening tone far more subdued. Carlos looks to TK, his face covered with a slight sheen of sweat. It makes Carlos’ breath hitch and he can’t help but to want to keep going, even though this is a different terrain than they’ve been dabbling in thus far.

“Do you still want to—,” Carlos begins to ask but TK answers in actions, not words as he slips his arms up over Carlos’ shoulders and begins to sway to the music.

This part is the variable, the break from their usual bit. Instead of dancing around each other with no real contact, they’re now wrapped up closely with TK hugged to his frame, their bodies pressed together, enough for Carlos to feel the firmness of TK’s chest against his.

This feels right in a way that Carlos can’t even begin to put into words. He wonders if maybe everything feels heightened because of where they are and what they’re celebrating tonight. But that still doesn’t change what he’s experiencing now, the rush of having TK’s warm body in his arms, more alive than anything. Even though they’re now moving slower than they have all night, Carlos feels the most electric now. It only instills what Carlos has known all along. This is so much more than a crush, it always has been, but now it feels like a tangible thing, a very real possibility and a step up from the hypothetical.

TK peers up at him as they continue to rock gently and Carlos can feel the man’s breaths as they fan across his face like the gentlest, most subtle breeze. The longer Carlos stares back at him, the more he realizes how uneven TK’s breathing actually is, the way it stalls and starts. The only explanation is that TK is nervous. Carlos is well-versed in reading people. After all, he literally gets paid to assess situations. He’s seen countless people he’s interviewed on a call panic and grow uneasy. He’d know the telltale signs of an anxious person anywhere.

“Relax,” he murmurs quietly, just low enough that the words get trapped between the two of them, safe in this private bubble. His hands hold even more firmly, more reassuringly to TK’s hips as if to remind him that Carlos is truly right here holding on to him, keeping him upright and present in this moment.

TK blinks twice and licks his lips. Carlos tries to take his own advice and settle his racing heart but even without meaning to, with doing something as mundane as wetting his lips, TK is getting under his skin. There’s something about this hazy summer night that’s making his mind feel like it’s drifting, floating like the fireflies that flicker on and off in the yard. It’s as if they’re under a spell of some kind. Carlos can’t remember the last time he’s felt a pull this strong towards someone, as if they’re a planet and he’s a helpless moon sucked into their gravity. And yet still, TK makes him feel grounded.

“Carlos, what is this?” TK asks, his voice barely above a whisper. But Carlos catches it all with how close they are to each other, with how much he always seems to hang off TK’s every word.

It would seem that Carlos isn’t the only one keen on getting answers tonight.

“The beginning of us, I hope,” he replies.

Carlos isn’t sure where that boldness comes from but with the words out there, there’s no way for him to snatch them back or undo them. And frankly, Carlos realizes that he doesn’t want to. Clear cut answers. A line drawn in the sand. Clarity. That’s what they need now. Tiptoeing around feelings or pretending as if they aren’t there at all is no longer something that he can accept.

TK eyes him for a moment before slipping his arms off of Carlos’ shoulders, letting them fall at his sides. Speaking outright about this thing that’s been brewing between them is in clear violation of the unspoken rule, he knows but if TK was bold enough to ask, Carlos figures he was right in matching that. Yet now TK is pulling away and Carlos fears he’s said too much, his bravado from only seconds ago now dwindling. But before he can dwell on it for too long, TK is grabbing hold of one of his hands and tugging him off the dance floor.

Carlos knows better than to ask questions then. Wherever TK wants to take him, Carlos will willingly go. TK leads him out of the yard, ignoring the piqued interest of their coworkers who no doubt have questions and assumptions about where these two are headed off to. But Carlos takes a page out of TK’s book and tunes them out as well. Instead he focuses on how easily their hands slot together as if they were designed to hold on to each other.

They come around the side of the house to the front of the Ryder household. A few guests are milling about outside, chatting among themselves. Carlos doesn’t recognize any of their faces, the entire lot of the 126 now left behind in the yard.

TK keeps moving forward, beginning to walk down the block, raking a hand through his hair.

“TK?” Carlos ventures, starting to grow a bit concerned.

With an abrupt stop in his tracks, TK turns to look at Carlos before taking a seat on the curb. They’re only two houses down from the festivities and can still hear the revelry of the reception but it’s distant enough that Carlos feels far removed from it all. TK looks up at the sky, his face bathed in a wash of moonlight, half his features thrown into shadow from the lamppost a few feet away. Carlos settles in beside him, wrapping his arms around his legs.

The silence between them is heavy and with how unmoving TK is now, Carlos knows he’ll have to be the one to breach it if they’re going to get anywhere with each other.

“I know I’m not losing it here, am I?” Carlos asks. “I haven’t been imagining this vibe between us, right?”

TK looks down at his hands and shakes his head. “No, something is definitely happening. I just...it’s starting to feel real now and that’s not something I was expecting to find out here in Austin.”

Carlos considers this for a moment. “But is that necessarily a bad thing?”

It’s then that TK focuses back on him. “That’s what I’m still trying to figure out. It’s one thing to BS and flirt but it doesn’t feel like a game or a tease anymore. If it gets serious, there’s no going back and I don’t know what that’ll mean.”

Carlos’ brows furrow. “And you don’t know if this is worth it?”

“It’s so much more than that,” TK sighs. “Long story short, I left behind a lot of baggage in New York.”

Carlos knows what that’s code for. “What's his name?”

“Alex,” TK mutters, a hint of disgust coating the two syllables. Carlos doesn’t press for details. He simply nods his head in understanding and stays quiet for a beat.

“I can’t speak to this guy and whatever went down between you two but from what I know of you, I think you’re amazing. I’m sorry he made you feel like you can’t take chances or fall for someone again. But, I’m here, TK. I’m here and I’d like to see where we could go from this point.”

TK frowns and fiddles with his fingers again. “If you knew everything, I’m not so sure you’d still feel that way.”

This is a different version of TK than Carlos is used to but he welcomes that. Gone is the facade, the carefully crafted demeanor the man maintains in public. Here with just the two of them on a quiet street under the night sky, Carlos feels like he’s getting to the heart of TK and he likes what he sees. Certainly the man is in a self-deprecating mood, a complete shift from the confident guy out on the dance floor. But he’s being forthright about himself and Carlos can respect anyone that’s being candid. It’s an admirable trait and makes TK even more real to him.

“Maybe you could give me the chance to decide that for myself? Or to show you that I’m serious about this.” Carlos cringes a bit then, worried he’s coming on too strong considering TK’s hesitancy. “I don’t...I hope you don’t feel pressured here. I’m sorry if I’m—”

“No. Honestly, you aren’t making me feel like that. If anything, it’s the exact opposite. You make me feel...free. To possibility, to everything. I don’t know. There’s something about this town and the people here. Nothing is going at all like I expected it to, which is a very, very good thing.”

Carlos smiles softly at this. “Glad I could play a small part in that.”

TK knocks his shoulder lightly against Carlos’ and that tiny bit of contact sends his heart racing.

“Not a small part, believe me.”

Carlos bites back on the corner of his bottom lip and holds his hand out in the small space between them, palm up towards TK who smiles at him before accepting it. They sit in companionable silence for a moment before TK rests his head against Carlos’ shoulder. The reception is still in full swing with voices and music carrying over but Carlos couldn’t be happier with where he is now.

It makes him think loosely of that Oscar Wilde quote. He is quite literally in the gutters with TK now and yet there’s such a beauty to it as they both watch the stars beside each other for a short while with TK still resting on him.

“I could be good for you. Whenever you’re ready. If you’re ever ready,” Carlos amends, stroking his thumb along the back of TK’s hand.

TK sits up and Carlos shifts to face him. TK’s normally bright eyes are darkened now, his expression calculating as if he’s trying to make his mind up about something. Before Carlos can ask what’s on his mind, TK is leaning in, his lips pressing gently against Carlos’.  There’s no rush to it, no haste as if TK is trying to prove something by kissing him. It feels more like an exploration, a tentative dive into uncharted waters.

Carlos matches his pace, leaving this all entirely in TK’s hands but he’d be lying if he said his mind isn’t already spiraling, his thoughts running away from him to the point where all he can think about is the mouth keeping time with his own. TK’s ability to make himself Carlos’ sole focus reaches new heights with this now. Carlos wants all of him, to swallow him whole and keep every bit selfishly for himself.

TK deepens the kiss and Carlos follows his lead, his hands grasping gently onto TK’s hair. TK responds in kind, his nails dragging down Carlos’ back. TK kisses him hungrily and Carlos serves it right back. This is weeks’ worth of tension bubbling to the surface, completely unfiltered. It makes Carlos feel delirious, his breath catching and blood pumping in his ears.

TK lets out a small whimper and pulls away sharply, both of them breathless and panting.

“I’m sorry,” TK says, licking his lips and pressing his fingertips against his mouth.

Carlos shakes his head, waving him off politely. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

TK breathes out shakily, lowering his hand and searching Carlos’ face with urgency.

“I still want to take this slow. I just got a bit carried away there for a second.” Even in the dark, Carlos can see the slight pink tinge to TK’s face.

Carlos leans in and gives him a soft kiss on the cheek, taking his hand again and entwining their fingers.

“Progress is progress no matter the pace,” Carlos says simply. “Point is, we’re moving forward together. That’s all I could ever ask of you.”

[cilldaracailin]

Crazy Little Thing Called Love

Hello my Tumblr lovelys!

I am back with the next part of this story and I have left some gift baskets around the story with paper bags, oxygen masks, chocolate, blankets and some more chocolate. Please make use of them as needed as you read this part.

This one is for @hitmeonmytspot​ @fuseburner​ @primaba11erina​ and @turkish276​

Please don’t all come for me at once and perhaps some warning before hand would be wonderful!

Suze xxx

P.S There are a good few Irish words in this part and there is an English translation straight after. I normally phonetically sound out the Irish words but because there are quite a few, I am not going to, unless someone really wants me to.

P.P.S That might just be me on St Patricks Day years ago in my Irish Dancing costume in the picture....

6

“Cleachtadh a dhéanann maistracht – Practise makes perfect”

As she made her way back to her table, she said hello to anyone she knew and as she wandered closer to her seat, she could hear loud laughter and didn’t know whether to be worried or relieved.

“Thanks Robyn.” Taron took his bottle of beer from her and she set the other drinks on the table in front of him.

“So, you are still alive then.” She said pulling a chair over beside him.

“And you too. Claire quiz you?”

Robyn grinned at him. “Just some girl talk.”

“Bloody girl talk.” He muttered before taking a drink from his bottle.

“We have been having a very interesting conversation with Taron.” Shane said wriggling his eyebrows at Robyn.

“It doesn’t surprise me at all.” She answered him. “And have you mauled him yet?” She threw his way, grinning as Shane blushed from ear to ear.

“Robyn!” His voice was a near high pitch squeal.

“And may I remind you that you are married.”

“You are coming out all defensive already Robyn and the evening hasn’t even begun. I was asking him about his time filming Rocketman.”

“I just know what you are like.” She answered him back and felt Taron shift a little in his chair so he could be a bit closer to her.

“He wanted to know about how we filmed the under-water scene.” Taron explained. “And if the hot pants chaffed.”

Another round of laughter circled the table. “It is a valid question and as a gay man, I think it is ok to ask.” Explained Shane.

“And did you get you answer?” Robyn asked as Claire took a seat beside her, carrying a tray with some drinks for everyone else at the table.

“Was waiting for it when you arrived back on your high horse.”

Robyn stuck her tongue out at her male friend and turned her attention to her drink. “Well don’t let me stop the conversation.”

Taron looked from Shane to Robyn and back to Shane before taking a glance at Claire who nodded her head at him and after he had swung his arm around the back of Robyn’s chair, answered the question.

“Not at all. They were actually quite comfortable.”

“They didn’t go up your bum?”

Robyn was mid swallow of her drink as Shane asked the question and some of it dribbled out of her mouth and she sat forward quickly trying to catch the drops in her hand so it wouldn’t get on her skirt. She was thankful for the tissue Claire quickly got her and wiped her chin and her hands before turning to Shane and glaring at him.

“You think you are the only one who can play this game?” She asked him with an edge to her voice.

“What game?” Asked Shane. “It is a genuine question and seeing as how Taron wore some, he has experience in this area.”

Robyn turned to look at Taron and he had one of those little cute half smiles on his face. “You do not have to answer that.”

“Not the way you thought this was going to go, huh chicken”? He asked her his eyes dancing with delight as he took in her angry stare at her friend.

“Chicken?” Claire’s voice took Robyn’s attention away from Shane and to her. “He just called you chicken. Why has he just called you chicken?”

“Ugh, I bloody hate you all.” Robyn threw her body back into her chair and crossed her arms over her chest, a sulk on her face and pout on her lips.

Taron couldn’t help but laugh at her. He couldn’t have adored Robyn more in that moment and if her friends hadn’t of been around, he absolutely would have tried to poke the pout from her lips but as she was already embarrassed, he shuffled a little closer to her and swung his arm around her chair again, placing a light kiss on her head instead, ignoring the stares he could feel from her friends. Both himself and Robyn had expected the same taunts and heckling he had gotten from his friends but so far it had been the complete opposite and his normally composed Robyn was infuriated with her friends and he was kind of really enjoying the little tantrum she was pulling, something he rarely saw from her.

Still grinning he turned back to Shane. “I honestly can say that no, they didn’t and I am assuming that is either down to the massive size of my arse or the wonderful abilities of the costume designer.”

“Well that is all I wanted to know.” Replied Shane.

Taron nodded. “However, I will stick to my trusty boxers though but give them a go Shane. You might like them.” He watched as the married couple looked to each and winked and Taron turned his attention back to Robyn. “Smile.”

“No.” She answered him.

“Please smile.” He asked again. “Or I will do something drastic to make you smile.”

“No.”

“You are at a table in front of your friends and I will not hesitate at all to tickle you here and now.” He whispered into her hair, pretending he was kissing her head again.

“So…” Robyn sat up on her chair. “How has everyone’s day been.” She saw the beautiful grin on his face from the corner of her eye and allowed a calming deep breath to fill her lungs, the scent of Taron’s aftershave filling her senses as she inhaled, he was still that close to her and it helped to lift her mood immediately.

The table’s conversation was filled with laughter and stories and once Taron and Robyn had again talked through what happened at the 7/11, Robyn’s friends finding it a bit more difficult to hear the story from the man she had saved, the cheeky banter slowed down and the conversation became more about getting to know everyone at the table.

“Does it get draining though?”

“Not so much draining but frustrating.” Claire had asked Taron about his re-shoots and filming the same scene over and over. “You could get it perfect and then the director wants the same scene from a different angle and you could fluff a line or not put the same emotion needed or just not feel as happy as you could be with the performance. I am a perfectionist on set and it works against me sometimes. I can get annoyed very easily with myself if I keep doing it wrong and even more so when I know my mistakes wastes time.”

“Sounds like Robyn.” Said Emma. “Total perfectionist at work, maybe a little bit too much of OCD too.”

“Which came in very handy when we had the inspection last week.” Robyn answered back.

“Well I can’t argue with that. First time I have had an inspection where my staff were complimented.”

“Me too.” Agreed Robyn. “But then I am pretty awesome.” Robyn laughed.

“Fucking awesome.” Corrected Taron, laughing with Robyn at his words.

“Ok share the joke.” Complained Claire.

“Just something one of Taron’s friends said on New Year’s.”

Claire was about to question it again when the microphone screeched a little and their attention was taken by the man standing at the top of the gym. “Beannachtaí Lá Fhéile Padraig!” He said excitedly into the microphone.

“Happy St Patricks Day.” Robyn translated for Taron, grinning as he rolled her eyes at him.

“Kinda figured chicken.” Chuckling as she lightly elbowed him in his ribs.

“So, let me quickly explain how this is going to work. Those of you who have been to one of these before know most dances comprise of four pairs, eight people in total so some of you may need to buddy up with others but it doesn’t mean a group of four can’t figure it out too. I don’t know if you have noticed that your tables have numbers on the them and they correspond to your place on the floor. To help keep everyone in place, we have also put some footprints on the floor too so you can make sure to stand on your footprints, just so we don’t have groups dancing on top of each other. You can come and go as your please but we just ask that you wait until one dance is finished before you come and go, just to keep some sort of order on the floor. I am obliged to show you the fire exits. The way you all came in, three along the wall behind me and three on the opposite side. We will begin very soon and all that is left for me to say is bain sult as duit féin agus ná bíodh imní ort faoi na céimeanna a fháil mícheart. Tá sé ach beagán spraoi agus beidh an craic againn.”

A cheer went up and although Taron clapped along he turned to Robyn with a look that just screamed help.

“Robyn?”

“He said ‘Enjoy yourself and don't be worrying about getting the steps wrong. It's just a bit of fun and we'll have the craic’.”

“Thank you. So, everyone understood that accept me.” He looked around the table at the blank faces.

“What did he say?” Asked Shane.

Robyn quickly repeated the English translation for everyone else at the table. “Not everyone speaks Irish or understands it. Maybe a few words here or there.”

“Hadn’t a clue.” Agreed Shane. “You English taking our native language.” He smirked toward Taron.

“And Taron is Welsh Shane, not English.” She patted Taron’s knee, reassuring him after Shane’s words. “And some of us paid attention in Irish class in school.”

“Wasn’t for me.”

“No but the teacher was! I am surprised you didn’t actually grasp the concept of the language.”

“It wasn’t the language I wanted to grasp!” Shane winked, earning a dig from his husband but he appeased him with a quick kiss to his lips.

Taron laughed and then smiled before looking away from the little intimate moment between the two and he turned his attention back to Robyn.

She noticed the change in direction of his body and turned to him. “So, you ready for a dance?”

“Well to fully embrace my Irishness, yes and I apologise now if I stand on your foot.”

“Well you didn’t in Aber so I think I can trust you.”

“Please remember you said that at the end of the evening.”            

Within the next ten minutes a slight buzz of excitement filled the air as the Irish music stopped and the group of people in charge of the céilí were getting set up around the gym, making sure they each knew which section of the floor was theirs so they could teach the dances to the groups, helping each group as they got into the literal swing of things.

“Ok and we are ready to go! So, if you want to make you way up to your number, we can get you all started.”

Robyn looked around the tables as no one moved. She looked to Taron and tilted her head towards the floor and he immediately stood up and taking her hand skipped with her to the dance floor in the middle of the tables, Robyn giggling at his actions as he found their table number on the floor and stood directly on it.

“And thank you so much Miss Quinn!” Robyn made a fake curtesy to the MC. “And your partner.”

“Dean!” Robyn grinned. “This is Dean!”

Taron looked to Robyn and could only smile at her grin on her face and then back to MC smiling. “Yep that’s me Dean.” He turned back to Robyn. “Seriously. Is there one person in this town who does not know who you are!” He laughed as she pulled a face at him but was distracted from returning his own, when Shane and Darragh stood beside them.

“We’re here too! Ready to Riverdance our hearts out and give Michael Flatley a run for his money.”

The four broke out in laughter and once the other tables saw Robyn, Taron, Shane and Darragh get up first to the floor, they slowly filtered their way up and took their places on the dance floor, the rest of Robyn’s friends joining them.

“So, we’re sticking with Dean huh?” Taron asked he stood beside her with Shane and Darragh opposite them in a square shape, the other four from their table behind them in the same square formation.

“Seems to working for you today.” She replied to him.

They were been given a very quick walk through demonstration of the first dance of the evening, The Walls of Limerick.

“Do you know this dance?” Taron asked her.

“This is the only one I would know. We did this in school as kids.” She told him as the music started.

“Ok well I am counting on you then to get these one two threes right.”

Robyn laughed and gave his hand a squeeze. “I think I might enjoy this more than you rocketman.”

The helpers counted everyone in and the dance started. Robyn knew Taron would have no trouble with getting the basic one two three of the Irish dancing step or keeping in time as with his musical ability, keeping rhythm and time came so natural to him but it was more making sure they went in the right direction and she almost convulsed with giggles as he crashed into her as she went to the left while he went to her right and he had to catch her, lifting her in the right direction before he set her down again.

“Stop laughing Robyn!” He muttered as they danced forwards and backwards again but she just made a face with him as she swapped places diagonally with Darragh opposite her before Shane switched with Taron and holding each other’s hands they spun around in circles.

They stood on the outer square while Emma, Tommy, Claire and Nick had their turn with the dance and Robyn was still giggling away.

“Best night ever!” She laughed. “Oh, I wish I could have videos of these dances!”

“I will get the hang of it!” Taron insisted as he concentrated on watching the dance play out in front of him again. “Not all of us have Irish dancing in our blood or did it as a kid.”

It was a pure look of concentration Robyn had never seen on Taron’s face before and he held her hand firmly when he needed too and made sure his direction was perfect the second time and as he spun Robyn around and back to their place giving the other four their chance to have their turn he did an extra little step, delighted with himself he got it perfect.

“Told you!” He grinned.

“You are a quick learner but I already knew that.”

Once each set of four had danced the set twice more the music ended and a huge roar and applause went up in the gym, Taron clapping enthusiastically with everyone else.

“Oh, Robyn this is just the best Irish thing ever. I am so glad I could come over. I desperately needed something like this to just shake all my stress and anxiety off. Thank you so much.” He gave her a sideways hug and she grinned at Claire who made kissy faces at her, Robyn returning her own to her friend as she stood close with Nick.

The next dance in the set was called The Siege of Ennis and instead of two groups of four, involved all eight, two lines of four standing opposite each other. Every group was given another brief walk through of the dance and it carried the same basic steps as the other, criss crosses, spins and even a bridge of arms. They started off great, but soon the four pairs became a tangle of arms, wrong directions and mountain of giggles and laughter, having to go back to the footsteps on the ground waiting so they could start again. On the second try and with some guidance from one of the helpers, they got through one round of the dance and needed no help for their third and fourth round.

Robyn could see that Taron was thoroughly enjoying himself and his whole demeanour had flipped from that morning, a ridiculously honest smile on his face. She was so delighted that the day had turned positive for him, hating it when he was down over his work though she was still slightly concerned about his upcoming job knowing how he was going to have to dig really deep for the emotion needed for the character he was playing, the reality of the story of an abused son making Taron want to put everything he had into it. Shaking her head, Robyn brought herself back to the present and looked to him as he happily chatted with Emma and her husband and Nick, while herself, Claire and the other married couple stood talking to each other a few footsteps down as they waited for the next dance to begin.

“You can bring him to visit us any time Robyn.” Smiled Shane. “He is a darling and dotes on you something shocking.”

“He does not.”

“Listen here Robyn Quinn, that boy is head over heels in love with you and you may not have noticed the little touches he gives you, like a hand on your shoulder or around your waist but I have and my God I am so jealous of it all.”

“I think you are going to be divorced by the end of today.” Darragh grinned to his husband. “But Shane is right.”

Robyn rolled her eyes at her friends. “We are…”

“Just friends.” They all said together, Robyn frowning at them.

“Does he have to have such a perfect side profile.” Sighed Shane.

“So, I am going to take my husband outside for some air. We will be back.” Darragh placed his hands on Shanes shoulders and guided him out of the hall, Claire and Robyn laughing.

“They are going to do what you and Taron need to be doing.”

“And you and Nick.” Robyn countered. “Which by the way, the spins are not hip to hip spins but hand to hand spins.” She grinned.

“They never specified that in the instructions.” Laughed Claire and she glanced at Nick who was a in fully animated conversation with Taron. “I just want to kiss him.” Claire sighed.

“Then go and kiss him.” Suggested Robyn. “I really don’t think he will mind. He was asking where you were earlier during the choir’s gig.”

“I was watching from afar.”

Robyn watched the hopeless look on her friend’s face. “Claire please just go and talk to him, ask him out! Kiss the man! I absolutely guarantee you that it will be a very positive result and a yes to going for a drink. He is such a wonderful person.”

“So is Taron.”

“We are talking about you and Nick, not me and Taron.”

“You go and kiss Taron and I will kiss Nick.”

Robyn looked to Claire as she gave her the ultimatum and could see the seriousness in her face. “Really?” She asked tilting her head.

“You go and kiss Taron right now before the next dance starts and I will go and kiss Nick.”

“A kiss. Sure, no problem.”

“And not just a kiss on the cheek Robyn. A proper kiss on his lips.”

“Well the same goes for you too.” She watched as Claire’s face faltered a little. “You are going to give out such demands you need to follow through with them on your part.”

“I will.”

Robyn held out her hand and Claire gripped it tight, both girls adding their second hand. It was a well-used promise handshake they had created when making a deal with each other when they kids and had become their tradition as they grew up and once the handshake was made, the deal had to be followed through with or else face a forfeit of the others choosing. Handshake given and promise assured, Robyn grinned to her friend and saluted her. She turned away and prayed no one could see her heart beating wildly in her chest. She only agreed to go through with this stupid plan because she knew Nick was desperate to ask Claire out but both her friends were so hesitant to make a move so if a little kiss from Taron, something she had with him before, would sort them out, she was very willing to do it and not just because she wanted to kiss him. Again. She just wanted to help her best friend. That was what she told herself anyway.

Taron was standing still talking to Nick, Emma and Tommy, a beautiful but tired smile on his face and he was talking with his hands, still about music, specifically the music of Elton John and Robyn knew he was in his element at the moment. His cheeks were a little red from the slight heat in the gym and the two dances they had just danced and he had opened all the buttons of his check shirt, the material now hanging loosely against his body and she was suddenly regretting her quick and sudden deal with Claire, realising she hadn’t actually thought this through properly. Claire would not be happy with a simple peck on his lips, the deal requiring much more and her hands started to shake as she strolled toward the little group. She wished she hadn’t been so rash with her plan to get Nick and Claire together. Her heart was hammering and she could feel her stomach swirling in knots, her hands shaking a lot more and all she could think of was how handsome and gorgeous he looked just causally standing there talking to her friends. He had been such a gent and so wonderful with her friends, getting to know them, willingly sharing stories of his life with them and he was just happy. Pure happiness radiated from every inch of him and it was how she liked seeing him best however now as she walked towards him, she never even considered her end of the deal with Claire and how a kiss with Taron was going to affect her or him and it was suddenly a very bad idea.

“Hey Robyn.” He said giving her one of his trademark grins that spread over his face. “I was filling Nick in on our sing song with Elton.”

A very bad idea but with her head held high she walked right up to him. “You trust me, right?” She simply said.

“Of course. Always.”

“Ok well then trust when I say this is for the greater good in the long run.”

She took one long breath, her lungs filled with a mixture of humid air in the gym and that wonderful aftershave he always wore and it made her a little dizzy but she couldn’t back out and stepped right up to him, taking in his now slightly amused face, his stunning eyes, a light brown colour even in the green glow of the gym, opening wide and searching hers as he looked down to her, his forehead creasing as he raised his eyebrows in an almost question as to what she was up too. She heard and felt the hitch of breath he took as she pressed her body up against his and with her hands going to the back of his neck, lifted her head so she could reach his lips with hers and with perhaps a little more weight at first then she meant to, pressed her lips against his, then keeping them soft and light, Taron immediately tilting his head so their noses didn’t bump, his hands going to her waist pulling her right against him.

He knew what was coming before it happened, the determination in which Robyn walked towards him and the way she looked at him told him what she was going to do, her words of ‘you trust me’ making it so obvious what was going to happen but it did not mean he was prepared in any shape of form for the force at which she kissed him. Robyn stalled against him, her lips just resting against his, not moving at all and it took every part of him not to run away with the kiss. Feeling her silky lips against his caused a rush of electricity through his whole body and he parted his lips a little so her bottom lip slipped in-between his and he did his best to hold in the moan he was so desperate to let go from his body as he gently started to create the tiniest motion of friction so their lips finally moved against each other’s. His head was spinning and he knew if he dared to open his eyes, the room would be twirling around him so instead his closed his eyes tighter and pressed his mouth a little harder against Robyn’s knowing well that her lipstick had already transferred to his lips and not caring that his fingers dug into waist for a mili-second before he brought his hands up to her face. His hands cradled her neck, his thumbs at the edge of her face in front of her ears, giving him an almost better grip on her so he could hold her face in place as he moved his lips more against hers and taking the lead, he dared to move the slightest half inch away from her, her bottom lip falling from his, before he went back in immediately for a second kiss, not even taking a breath into his lungs for fear that if he waited too long he wouldn’t get a second kiss and it was also desperation that spurred him on not knowing if and when he would ever get a kiss like this with her again.

As Taron’s nose brushed against hers once more as he moved his head to tilt his face in the opposite direction, Robyn copied his hand position and moved her hands, pulling his face closer to hers as she felt him pull away, Robyn now taking control of the kiss back, gliding her lips over his before she stood right on her toes so she could capture his top lip between hers, increasing the tight hold on his face and the pressure at which she was kissing him, drawing his lips into hers. The scratch of his facial hair felt so satisfying on her skin and as he parted his lips once more, she let his wonderful damp and velvety lips take over their kiss, Robyn pressing her body further into his, the heat from him only increasing the building temperature between them. Robyn could feel his hands holding her face a little harder than he normally would and his nose swept hers once more as he changed his head’s position again. The way he moved his lips so nimbly against hers, made kissing him effortless and Robyn was very quickly finding it so difficult to keep her restraint and she had to make herself stop kissing him knowing the forth head tilt from Taron was a sign it was long enough but she needed to get one last kiss in and as she pulled away from him went back in to have one more light feather peck, a silent sigh leaving her body as her forehead rested on his, her hands still on his face. Taron leaned in to steal one last and final kiss from her, his lips in a full grin as his slightly wet and parted lips met hers and she could feel the smile on his lips and she knew she had the exact same one on hers.

“Jesus fucking Christ in heaven! What was that!”

Taron and Robyn, whose bodies were still locked together, turned their heads to see Shane and Darragh staring at them, Shane’s eyes open wide, his hands on his cheeks too. Robyn didn’t give him an answer but turned around to stand in front of Taron and looked to Claire with a smirk.

“You’re turn.” She simply said to her friend, her hands reaching for Taron’s which were now around her waist and she was so glad he had a tight hold of her because her legs were like jelly, her head was spinning and her lips were on fire and the heat from Taron’s body felt glorious agasint hers.

Claire was mortified, not believing Robyn would even dare to kiss Taron in such a way, thinking she was going to chicken out but she didn’t. In fact, Robyn had gone above and beyond and shared a kiss with Taron that was extremely intimate, quite thorough and as she witnessed it, could firmly say it was definitely heated. Claire had been by Robyn’s side as she fell madly in love with Keith but had never seen her best friend share a kiss like the one she had just shared with Taron with Keith and it wasn’t even a kiss of a couple in love, well love that had been admitted to each other. It was just two friends kissing but it was so much more when watched from the outside. They their hands rested perfectly on each other’s cheeks and they just knew how to position their heads so they didn’t bump noses and it had the perfect amount of everything a kiss needed and as Claire stood with her mouth open as she witnessed their kiss, their first proper kiss, she was stunned. It was near perfect. She hadn’t missed that at one point Taron took the lead with the kiss, seeing how much he wanted to kiss Robyn so much more than he was letting on and it made her a little sad to know that Robyn wanted it as much as he did and the two were just holding back so much.

However, now that Robyn had fulfilled her end of the deal it was her turn and she was stood frozen on the spot. Robyn was always a little braver than she was, especially over the last three years and although she had doubted that Robyn would follow through with the kiss, her best friend had gone and kissed Taron hard and without a doubt Claire knew she now had no choice but to kiss Nick, the man she had been crushing on for at least four years.

“Claire.” Asked Robyn looking to her friend, who hadn’t moved for a few seconds, motioning with her eyebrows for her to go over to Nick.

“Nick you want to help a girl out here?” Robyn was surprised to hear Taron speak and even more shocked when Nick walked past them, over to Claire and placing his two hands on her cheeks, kissed her, a lot more deeply then Robyn and Taron kissed and a few wolf whistles went up around them.

“Will someone please tell me what is going on and why everyone is kissing everyone else and why I am not getting kissed by anybody!”

Robyn felt Taron’s chest move with his laughter and closed her eyes as he threw his arms around her shoulders and hugged her against him. “You are in trouble Miss Quinn.” He whispered to her, his breathe hot against her cheek. “And have a lot of explaining to do.”

She gave his hands a squeeze and felt the deep breath he took, taking one of her own and turned to face him, not missing the flush on his face or how his eyes were now a swirling mix of brown and green.

“What it with all the kissing!” Shane asked again, clear frustration in his voice.

“Want to go outside?” Robyn asked him. “Before the next dance starts?”

“Please.”

Without a word to those around her, Robyn lifted Taron’s arms from around her shoulder and over her head, keeping a grip on his hand and started to lead him off the dance floor. As they walked, she could hear Shane complaining again and as she walked past Claire, she gave her a little push with her left hand, breaking the kiss between herself and Nick, winking at her. “Not that hard was it?” She said as she walked past them, still keeping a tight grip on Taron’s hand.

She guided him out the front door of the club house and to the left walking down the footpath a little and to a little corner she knew of where they could talk.

“So, Robyn what is with all the kissing?” Taron asked her as he leant against the brick wall behind him, his arms crossing over his chest. “Not that I am complaining, just to put that out there.” He added, hoping that his face had cooled down a little, though his cheeks still felt incredibly hot and even the chill in the late-night air wasn’t helping to cool his overheated body down. He could still feel Robyn pressed up right against his body and he had hugged Robyn so many times before, tight gripping hugs where she was properly squished against him but when their touching bodies were from the result of a kiss, it was a completely different feeling all together. “Sometimes a man needs a bit of warning before he is assaulted with kisses.” He gave her a little half smirk, keeping his arms folded against his chest, resisting the urge to touch his lips, instead rubbing them together and licking what he knew was her lipstick from them, that cosmetic taste in his mouth a little reminder that once again Robyn had kissed him and not just a little kiss, a proper full on, lip sucking kiss and it was glorious and he saw a few fireworks set off behind his closed eyes.

“You never warned me outside the lift.”

He grinned at her response. “Robyn, I kissed your neck. You fully planted one on my lips and in front of your friends and it was more than just a little kiss. Honestly, I thought you were going to slip me some tongue at one point.”

“Ugh eww Taron no!” Robyn turned away from him and squeezed her eyes shut biting her bottom lip before she turned back and prayed her face was calm and composed. “Just no. You are my friend.”

“Hmm.” He hummed. “So chicken, care to explain what that was all about? I am guessing something to do with Claire, maybe a bet of some sorts? She looked mortified. What did you two agree too.”

“I am really sorry Taron, about the kiss.” Robyn stepped a little closer to him and leaned opposite him against the wall.

“I didn’t ask you if you were sorry. You don’t have to apologise to me over it. You did ask me first in a way.”

“I asked you if you trust me.”

“And I do.” He assured you. “And you know I do, with my life.” He waited for Robyn to start with an explanation but she was staying silent. “Come on Robyn. Spill or I am ringing Diean right now to tell him about our kiss. He has been bugging me about the New Year’s Eve kiss constantly so I know he will love this one!” Taron pulled his phone from his jeans pocket but Robyn quickly snatched it from his hands.  

“I did do it for Claire.” She started to explain quickly, still holding Taron’s phone, her eyes glancing down very quickly as his screen lit up as she accidently swiped his phone, a new picture of the two of them on his screen, one from New Year’s Eve they had taken on the beach before they went to her home. “I hadn’t actually planned just to land a kiss on you like that, I promise. She is so desperately in love with Nick and has been since he joined the choir four years ago and you know we had this match making plan and I know Nick has been fawning over Claire since I introduced the two of them after a gig we did. So, we were having our girl talk…”

“I am going to ban girl talk.” Interrupted Taron. “Bane of my life. Even Rosie and Mari have their girl talk now. No boys allowed!” He complained.

Ignoring him, Robyn continued. “Well during our girl talk, Claire told me that I wouldn’t kiss you and I replied to her with the oh so mature answer of well you won’t kiss Nick and I was like sure I would kiss you if she kissed Nick and she was like well if you kiss Taron I will kiss Nick and then she made the deal tougher by saying that it couldn’t be a kiss on his cheek, as in your cheek, it had to be on the lips and I was like well if I do this, knowing and hoping you wouldn’t mind, I mean we have kissed before, Claire would have to follow through and kiss Nick and like I said, I already know that Nick has a thing for Claire and Claire is like a love sick puppy when she sees Nick even if she won’t admit to it and then we agreed and shook on it using our special handshake which we cannot go back on so I had to go first and kiss you and then we kissed and I was like go on Claire and she stalled and looked at me as if she had seen a ghost and I mean I had just kissed you so she had to follow through with our deal and she just stood there with a blank face, and then you spoke to Nick and he just went and kissed her instead and hey how did you get Nick to do that so quick with just some words and he went straight in for a kiss but Claire totally broke our deal she needs to do the forfeit but I mean…”

Taron watched as Robyn started to talk fast and her words jumbled together as she moved away from the wall, still with his phone and placed back and forth in front of him her hands moving as she spoke and as she rambled on, Taron was grinning from ear to ear. Sure the kiss played complete havoc with his emotions and he was still light headed and buzzing from the feeling of kissing her but he did not regret it at all or how he kissed her back and as he stood away from the wall he automatically found himself biting his lip, still feeling Robyn’s against him and he chuckled as Robyn began to speak even faster. She always spoke fast, her words almost blurring together even more so when she was excited or as he found out the hard way, angry and she was doing it right now, almost without taking a breath. He stepped in front of her, stopping her mid-stride and without a second thought, he reached forward and put his hand over her mouth to stop her which she did but he pulled his hand away quickly as she licked him.

“Don’t lick people.” He grinned. “And like I said, you don’t have to apologise to me. You asked me if I trusted you and I said yes and I do and when you were at the bar with Claire, Nick and I were getting to know each other. He let it slip that he was very happy you asked him to come along as he has the biggest crush on Claire. I did a little match making of my own and told him he should tell her but he wasn’t really feeling brave enough too. After you kissed me and egged Claire on, I put two and two together and thankfully Nick took the hint and the first step and went to kiss her.”

“You little sneaky rocketman. Hatching plans of your own.”

“Except Nick and I did not have a handshake to seal the deal.”

“I am going to make Claire pay for not stepping up.”

Taron grinned. “I think she will give you whatever you want after that kiss she had with Nick.”

“Finally.” Smiled Robyn. “Those two has been making googly eyes at each other for years.” Robyn looked down to her hands as she accidently swiped his phone again and she saw their picture. “I am sorry for just kissing you like that Taron.”

“It’s ok. I think I can forgive you when you ramble on nervously like that and if we got Claire and Nick together, than mission accomplished.”

“Taron…”

“Honestly, it is ok.” He stepped closer to her and held his arms out for a hug, which she walked into. “Don’t over think it ok. I know what you are like. It was just a kiss.”

“Just a kiss.” Repeated Robyn into his shoulder but it was so much more than just a kiss and as she started to re-live that wonderfully delicate and smooth kiss, his phone rang in her hands, ending the short hug between then. “It’s your mam.” She said to him, looking at the name on the screen.

He smiled and took the phone from her and answered it with a light cheery tone. “Hey mam!”

“Hello love! I just wanted to check in with you before your night became too Irish and you would forget to call your mother back.” Hearing Tina’s words, Robyn laughed. When Tina heard the laughter, she knew Taron was with his reason for his visit to Ireland. “Hello Robyn.”

“Hey Tina!” Robyn said loudly so she could hear him.

“Hi Robyn!”

She laughed as she heard Rosie and Mari too. “Hello girls.” Robyn looked to Taron. “I will leave you to it.”

“You don’t have too and you know the girls want to talk to you. Always want to talk to you.”

Robyn grinned. “And you know I adore them but your mother wants to talk to you.”

“And you want to talk to Claire.” He returned.

“Oh my God I do.”

“So, more girl talk.” He rolled his eyes. “Go, I will follow you.” He leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Sort out that forfeit too.”

“I will.”

Robyn turned on her heels and walked away from Taron, hearing him pick up the call as she headed back for the door, inhaling the cool fresh air was she walked. Her head was still very fuzzy and not only from the specular kiss but also from Taron’s reaction. He was so calm and acceptive of what she had done to him, literally done to him and he was his usual wonderful self and she was so confused by it all. She was expecting at least a tiny bit of backlash from what she had done but there was none. He was completely understanding and had even said he couldn’t complain about what she had done and as she pulled open the door of the GAA club she took a glance back to him. He was laughing and smiling and not for the first time her stomach dropped to her toes. Whatever doubts she had before about being in love with Taron had been well and truly squashed. She, Robyn Quinn, without a doubt was head over heels in love with the man that was Taron Egerton.

[mmagazinemoment]

Why my past loves make me want to look into nihilism as a lifestyle.

Good morning, midday, afternoon, or evening to you my fellow queers and allies and plain and simply gorgeous humans. You see I have already written another version of this edition but instead I have a pure heroine filled piece instead, and you may not be ready for it because it covers a few serious points but it’s also the (fuck your ex) vibe, not literally…unlesssssss * insert meme*. Thanks for joining me again my loves

 Why my past loves make me want to look into nihilism as a lifestyle

You ever just meet someone and fall completely into their arms and become almost a complete and utter 3rd leg of the other? What I mean in all seriousness is, don’t you ever feel like the love game grows on you like a drug addiction and I know some of you will see this and be thinking? What do you mean “the love game” I know it’s not a game, a figure of speech as such. Basically, what I’m trying to say is have you ever loved someone so much that you didn’t see the signs of detrimental dysfunction.

Wow that all sounds so serious, let me dial it down a little, I’m just trying this new thing called being uncensored and not caring about preconceived notions of myself from external eyes. Months ago, I was shattered into a million pieces and I won’t blame just him because it was my fault for thinking every relationship or whatever it was, was going to end up like a tv romance, no that’s a lie. I over invested and blamed him for hurting my own self, sure he had something to do with it, but he wasn’t just to blame. Can’t tell me I don’t know how to take accountability (wow I’m funny).

For instance, in a movie you meet and lock eyes with someone and the breeze grasps your hair, when I met said person, I was like ‘omg he’s tall, I’m going to fall in love with a giraffe’ and then I tried to build a home in him, without the investment and time taken to be careful with my time and words of affirmation in efforts to receive reciprocation I never got unless it was backhanded or what I wanted to hear. So how did you perceive your first love? Did he/she/they look pleasing? Or was it the scent of their perfume or cologne? Did they dress in a floral vintage outfit or was it a suit and tie? Ballet flats or sneakers? Tell me? I want to know all of the juicy details!

I know some of you probably didn’t ask or ever want to know but my first love happened in a series of me closing doors journeying through my uneasy sexuality labelling and let’s be real, fuck labels am I right? (unless you find comfortability and closure under a label and with that you’re perfectly valid), Love to me was like heroine and in some senses it still is. When I first learnt of love, it didn’t feel like love, it felt like obligation, perhaps a trend. Love felt like learning all he moves to a Tik Tok dance as fast as possible before the hype disappeared, and it became irrelevant again, questionable reference point but blame social media not me. I was never satisfied.

Keep in mind this was 15-year-old me, trying to gain some sense of validation to seem a little less repressed and not confused because before 15 year old me realised that 12 year old me wasn’t as weird as I thought.  I was under this veil of non-transparency and speaking on the subject of transparency I must tell you 12 was the year of age I realised that I wasn’t like the other boys at school, just swooning for girls and getting scared of cooties, I was just begging to be seen by whoever had eyes to care. Sounds dramatic I know.

Nobody was ever there to tell me at such a young age that there were others like me, “different”, the type of boy who watched rebel without a cause and felt weird when James Dean was looking so gorgeous and composed in that leather jacket or admiring Tim Curry when he dressed like no man I’d ever seen on a movie screen in or even real life in the Rocky Horror Show, something sparked in… me. I started on the smallest step I knew, acknowledgement, I knew I could find a home in the fact that there were more people like me, and wow I was right. I was finding comfort in what I knew, I found a few gorgeous women and obviously because of my age we thought that holding hands and a peck on the cheek was all we needed in life from the label of ‘relationship’, but it was only ever a weekly process. Anytime I found ‘love’ I wouldn’t know what to do with it without the chase, like a dog chasing a bone. Even to this day I have never had a successfully long relationship but at least these days it’s not because of my toxic traits, I like to think I’ve grown a considerate amount since I was 15. Don’t get me wrong, neither of those experiences were love? How could they be?

Ironically love happened even ‘after’ I was in a relationship. I had another relationship when I was 17, it lasted a little longer than the prior, it went for a month and a half, I was convinced I loved her, so sappy but you wanted transparency right? I have a lot of it. After that, my ex brought to attention after she cheated on me that I was using her as a sort of beard to cover up the truth about myself, I never knew how to perceive myself until then and that was only the second step, there was so much more to cover.

Skip forward past a few experiences leading up the near current, I met someone, a sort of fleeting romance, now (forewarning, this gets sappy) we talked for a few weeks if my memory isn’t hazy, and we quickly developed something no short of a connection. FaceTime after FaceTime I’d gather more and more pictures of his goofy face and at one stage, I thought I was going to be happy for the foreseeable future, then came reality. You can’t be loved by someone who doesn’t want to face themselves and you can’t help them anymore than what you’re capable of giving out. I didn’t listen to that, naturally things just got worse, and I hated everything…

He would apologise, I would validate his actions to friends who were concerned and realising that I was getting too soon attached and it wasn’t going to end well and I copped the consequences, I still have only recently not found regret in messing up this badly because if I didn’t make that mistake then I would’ve just witnessed those mistakes I made in the lap of somebody else and this is where the saying goes, better the devil you known then the devil you don’t. let me tell you it did more than a number on my mental health before I added up the reasons as tallies against us and internalised what I should’ve subtracted (hehe see what I did there). In all seriousness I wanted the thrill, I sure as hell got one.

Your mental health is amplified by your lifestyle choices and the people you choose to keep in your circle, friendship, or relationships regardless, the whole thing was out of whack and a tornado was nothing less than the accurate definition of where I was at, and it hurt a lot but sometimes it’s best to leave that situation if that person who you thought was going to be there for a while and a necessity to your life ends up being the detriment. (as Ashley Frangipane said) “its crazy when the thing you love the most is the detriment, let that sink in”.  

 If there is one piece of advice that I want whoever sees this to take with them it’s this, Keep your space sacred baby, you only have one life, but also please do not criticize yourself for getting caught in the motion sickness, sometimes you just can’t avoid it and that’s ok. Life is not a movie, life is more like the behind the scenes extra that puts everything into perspective, it’s rational and shows the hard work put in place to make the art and you should remind yourself as such. Remember also that if you cannot cope with all of the stress that presents itself in your life, that there are people that are equipped to help you hold some of the baggage for you until you are ready to take it back and analyse it. Whatever your grief is, I assure you, you’re not alone.

As always, stay healthy and strut your shit and I cannot stress this enough but keep raging against the machine and the super straights xoxo without the gossip girl, farewell until the next piece of The Mantra Magazine. *keep this in mind* next issue will be a little forward, it will include themes of segregation and war regarding the families of the Palestinians and Israeli conflicts happening right now. So, bring some tissues and an open mind. Farewell.

[angelic-holland]

Arcade // th x fem!reader

Summary: Loving you was a losing game, but Tom would be damned if he ever stopped playing.

Warnings: Smut, angst, fluffy ending

Word Count: 7.2k

A/N: based on the song “Arcade” by Duncan Lawrence, italics between (***) are flashbacks, I attempted to write this sort of from Tom’s point of view.

The roar of the children and other young adults nearly drowned Tom as he watched you dance around after winning a lot of tickets at the skee ball machine. His eyes glimmer with admiration as he watches your hair dance along the sides of your face, one of your small fingers brushing it behind your ear. 

You were having one last night out before you and your family went to America for a few weeks, an annual tradition, Tom sometimes went with you, but this year he couldn’t. Work, responsibilities, life got in the way. 

He smiles, a toothy, kid in a candy shop smile as he walks up to you, “ready for your big prize?” 

You turn around to face him and laugh, grin stretching across your face as you throw your head back, clapping your hands happily as you walked towards the prize room. 

“I hope my prize includes you,” you grin, biting your lip as Tom laughs, his hand gently resting on your hip while you search through the glass for your prize, a fist full of tickets that added up to 353. 

Tom tried, he really did, to win at the games he played while you were there but you were just so distracting. You didn’t mean to be, encouraging him as he hit the button on the fake slot machine, your hand resting gently on his shoulder, blush spreading to the tips of his ears. His eyes would wander to your side, pressed against his, your foot on the inside of his leg, running up and down his calf, then he wouldn’t pay attention and lose. It was almost like a game, Tom thought, you would distract him, ever so slightly, and then if he won you would wrap your arms tightly around him, sighing into his neck before pulling away. He’d give you the few tickets he won, insisting that he wouldn’t get anything good with them anyways. 

And that was better than any stupid plastic toy prize. Your pure excitement. 

You picked out a stupid plastic kazoo that somehow was worth 350 tickets and used the other three tickets to get Tom a piece of candy, his favorite. 

“Wanna get outta here and I can suck you off in my mom’s shitty ‘98 mom van?” You ask as you walk out of the loud arcade, hands swinging side by side, knuckles brushing every so often, you had no intention of grabbing his hand and placing it in your own, Tom knew this. He so desperately wishes you did however.

His eyes roll in his head as he tilts it back, the long expanse of his neck inviting, “can you not call it your mom’s shitty van in the same sentence as wanting to get me off?”

“What? Are you not getting hard right now?” You whispered into his ear, the back of your hand pressed against the back of his hand.

How easy would it be to grab your hand, slip your fingers in between his, never let go? Tom’s feet faltered as you licked the shell of his ear, sighing before skipping ahead of him and playing the kazoo obnoxiously loud. 

“Come on, I know you wanna,” you said in a sing song voice and Tom couldn’t lie, of course he did. He never didn’t want to. But he also wanted to sit at the pier overlooking the water and talk for hours about everything and nothing, just listening to the sound of your voice, inflections as you asked questions, rising as you got excited, raising an octave if it was a really good story. But you weren’t in the mood for the friend part of your arrangement, not right now. And that was okay, because he just wanted to spend time with you, in whatever way that came down to.

Before he knew it he was sprawled out in the backseat of your car, a hand me down from your mother, fake leather seats are worn, tearing in some places, his hand gripped the door handle for dear life as you situated yourself on the expansive floor between the very back of the van and the front seats.

You hands traced down his front to his jeans, one stroking his cock over them while the other worked on opening up his jeans. No matter how many times you did this, you still managed to fumble a little each time. Tom liked to pretend it was because you were nervous because you wanted more than hasty blowjobs and fucks. Deep in his heart, hidden behind years of longing and just recently the excitement of being with you, he knew that wasn’t the case. You have a kind heart, always wanted to please people, your nerves were a result of thinking you weren’t good enough, no matter how many times Tom told you how good you made him feel. Your confidence day to day was strong, unwavering, head held high as you navigate your life. Very few people, if anyone other than Tom knew that you desperately wanted to hold onto something and ground yourself, never sure in anything you did. 

His other hand was a calming presence on your hair, fingers running through your pretty locks, brushing them behind your ear so he could see you as you kissed along his hips, tugging his cock out of the confines of his boxers. Your eyes looked up at him, the slightest bit of nervousness overshadowed by lust as you licked your hand, using it to stroke his cock while your tongue dipped out of your mouth to trace along the head down the underside of his cock.

“So good, feels so good,” Tom manages to get out. Because it does, you always made him feel good, and because he knew you were craving the words that slipped out of his mouth, “Good girl.”

You went to work, mouth parted, full lips wrapping around the head of his cock as he watched, he always watched, watched as your pretty lips bobbed up and down his cock, taking as much of him as you could while your hand worked what couldn’t fit into your mouth. He watched as your eyes stared up at him, constantly searching for that validation. And holy shit he wanted to give you the entire fucking world, show you that you were it for him. But for now a stuttered out, “yes, fuck, keep going, please, good girl,” would do.

You whined at his words, eyes slipping shut as one of your hands reached up and rested atop his own, fingers curling to make Tom grip your hair. The closest he would get to holding your hand. His smile faltered for a second at the thought, his heart slowing in his chest before he looked down at you, your eyes wide again as you stared up at him, curiously attempting to understand where he stood while you sucked him off, scared he wasn’t enjoying himself.

You pop off him quick, hand continues to slowly jerk him off, “you okay?”

He nods quickly, “Yeah sorry, could you maybe use your tongue a little more?” He makes up something that could explain the look on his face, almost smacking himself as your face fell before you nodded.

“Course, yeah, lemme make you feel good, okay?”

He nods, smiling again as your tongue traces up and down the veins along his cock, wet and shiny lips sucking as his head as your tongue swipes at the precum pooling on it. 

“Good girl,” he sighs and his smile widens as you visibly relax, letting his hand in your hair guide his movement while your hand gently rests atop it, searching for the warmth of human touch. 

He couldn’t stop staring as you worked him over with your mouth, taking him further and further until his cock bumped against the back of your throat and you fought against yourself, relaxing your throat to allow him in. He was close, and oh so fucking soon but he couldn’t help it, watching you work, you looked so pretty when you were determined to make him feel fantastic. 

Not that you weren’t pretty all the time, if Tom were a poet, he could think of a million ways to describe how beautiful he thought you were. But alas, he was just a boy who was destined for failure, and the only word he could use to describe your beauty was ‘perfect’.

He had a far off look in his eye, thinking about all the time you’ve shared together, since you were little, he wouldn’t lie, he was a little distracted while you tried your hardest to bring him back to reality, to the fact that you were sucking him off, attempting to make him feel the absolute best. 

You whine around him, an indication that you wanted more from him, more noises, more enthusiasm. 

More more more.

And Tom would be damned if he didn’t give you everything.

His eyes wandered back to you, lips stretched wide as you took him nearly completely in your mouth, hand now resting on his hip just beneath his shirt, rubbing circles into the bone while his hips stuttered, mouth dry as his hand gripped your hair harder.

He was on the edge, he was always on the edge with you. On the edge of orgasm. On the edge of falling in love. He likes to pretend he hasn’t already fallen off that steep and dangerous cliff, like he wasn’t broken and bruised and bleeding at the bottom, crying out for you to save him. Throw him a fucking line, tell him you also stay up at night and dream of a future with him, tell him you yearn for him the same way his heart beats crazy for you. 

He moaned your name as he came down your throat, you sucked him down enthusiastically as he strung along whimpers of “y/n, fuck, sucha good girl for me.”

When he came down from his high he peeked through his lashes as you slowly come off his cock, sitting back, your hand slips off of his own and he wishes he lasted even just a little bit longer if that meant he could feel the warmth of your hand on top of his own for just a few more seconds. 

“Thanks,” He grins lazily as you tuck him back into his jeans.

You nod, wiping your mouth on the back of your hand before eating up and

“Can I return the favor?” Tom asks as you begin to climb into the front seat.

“Nah, doing the nasty here kinda creeps me out, back to our place?” You ask and Tom nods, climbing into the front seat as well as you start the car.

“Was that, are you thinking of something space cadet?” You joked as Tom sat rather solemnly, chin in his hand, elbow resting on the window, eyes distant as you rested your hand on his thigh.

“I’m okay, just thinking.”

“Oh, okay, penny for your thoughts? Or a kazoo song?” You steady the steering wheel with one hand as you use the other to play a horrible tune on the kazoo.

“No, god, anything but the kazoo,” Tom groans, tossing his head back, you set the kazoo down and put your hand back on his thigh, his hand goes to rest against yours and you almost flinch at his touch, a little too intimate. 

You take a deep breath as you pull into the apartment complex, moving your hand from under Tom’s.

You both make the trip upstairs, lust and a hint of something else hung in the air as you unlocked the door to your shared apartment. Three rooms, you, Tom, and Harrison, whenever Tom and you had sex it was always in his room. There was an unspoken agreement ever since the first time it happened, your room was untouchable, cold and empty, like Tom sometimes felt your heart was.

***

“Are we really doing this?” You giggles, hands tracing patterns into Tom’s bare chest as he takes in your naked form, laying underneath him on his bed, as drunk and giggle as he is after a long party to celebrate moving into your new space, freedom from parents and the burden of new responsibilities forgotten for one night.

You were the most beautiful person he’s ever seen, hair spread out underneath you, legs slightly shaking as you wrapped them around his waist.

“Only if you wanna,” Tom replies, arms straining as he held himself above you, cock twitching in his boxers as you rubbed against him.

“I wanna, want you to fuck me,” you moaned as he kisses down your neck, taking in the way your skin felt against his lips. The realization that this might be the first and last time he got to touch you like this was sobering.

“Okay,” Tom nods, “lemme, we need,” he pauses to think, what did they need? He couldn’t quite remember.

“Condom!” You shout loudly, jerking your head up, chin collided with the top of his head. You both groan in pain before Tom rolls off of you, searching his bedside table as you laugh.

“Gotcha,” He says, holding up the silver foil while you sit up, spreading your legs while he pulled his boxers down and off. Your jaw drops as he rolls the condom onto his hard cock.

“What?” He asks, head tilting to the side.

“God I’ve never thought of you like this, but holy fuck you’re huge,” you manage to get out, laughing as he pounced back on top of you.

If he was truly sober your words would’ve startled him, ‘never thought of you like this’. Like what? In a sexual way? A romantic way? You’re about to have sex with him, how do you see him?

His hips pause at the statement however, was he in way too over his head?

“Please,” you whimpered below him, hips rocking against his cock, which would nudge against your entrance, sending you into a flurry of “Please, Tom, pretty please.”

He was way too drunk and way too horny to think about his feelings while you were underneath him, begging, writhing for him.

“Gotcha, I gotcha,” he says, voice soothing as his cock enters you. It’s a feeling he never thought he’d have, your warm walls wrapped around him as you pulled him down, arms around his neck, sloppily kissing him.  

You whimper into his mouth, tongues and teeth clashing as he pounds into you, one of his hands steadies himself, the other grips wherever he can get a hand on you, your shoulder, hip, breasts, wow did he love your breasts. 

You both were ridiculously close way too soon, a mix of your adrenaline, Tom’s feelings for you and the alcohol coursing through both of your veins. His fingers snake between your bodies, his hips move quickly, chasing his high as his thumb rubs your clit. 

“Fuck, Tom,” you cry out as you come. The first time you said his name like that, on the cusp of orgasm, breathy but loud, like your personality, made Tom come with an equally desperate cry of your name. Out of all the ways you said his name, this was his favorite.

***

When you first met, you were in third grade, you were both in a specialized classroom, Tom for his dyslexia and you for your hearing loss. He would never forget the first day you walked into the classroom, pigtails high on your head, your goal for the day was to introduce yourself to someone and focus on the way their words of the other person came out and repeat them back to yourself. It was something that was a less than traditional route to help focus your hearing and strengthen it but your parents didn’t want to give you hearing aids or a cochlear implant unless absolutely necessary.

“Hi, I’m y/n,” you stuck your hand out, arm full of silly band bracelets and Tom looked up at you from his desk curiously.

“I’m Tom,” he said, shaking your hand quickly.

“Tom,” you repeated, testing the word on your mouth, it came out a little fumbled as you worked to put the letters together but you smiled, “Tom,” your voice was more confident that time and Tom smiled back at you.

***

Another way you said his name, the least favorite of all the times, was when a boy broke your heart. It was prom, Tom was at an all boys' school, while you were at your public high school. Tom came to your prom photos to watch and cheer you and the rest of your friends on as you all took photos and you smiled brightly, bouncing over to him with the same wide grin on your face from all those years ago. He could never grow old of that smile. You hugged him tight and his heart pounded so loudly he was afraid you’d hear it. 

“Have the best night,” he whispers as you pull away. 

“What?” You say, neck craning to hear him.

“Sorry, just, have a good time okay?”

You nod and wave goodbye as Tom watches as Jack Patterson rests his arm around your waist and helped you into the limo.

He figured he’d hear back from you tomorrow morning, you might have a slight hangover, but you’d call him excited to tell him all about the night before.

He didn’t expect a knock on his window at 3am, a broken and hushed, “Tom,” as you stood in the grass, shaking with tears falling onto your light purple dress, as you waited for him to open the window.

His room was the only bedroom on the first floor of his parent’s house, the luxury of being the first child.

“Y/N?” He says, rubbing his eyes and standing up, feet padding over to the window where you stand, bottom lip trembling as your makeup runs down your face. 

“Tom,” you choke back a sob. 

“Y/N,” he says, body trembling with worry as he unlocks and shoved the window open.

“Tom,” you kept repeating as it was the only thing grounding you as he helped you inside his bedroom.

You all but collapsed in his arms, makeup smudging on his shirt, arms shaky as they held onto his waist, searching for an anchor to reality.

“What the hell happened?” Tom asked as your breathing steadied, you sat on the edge of his bed with him, both of you exhaled shakily for different reasons. Tom was terrified, he had no idea what happened and was scared to find out.

“I, I lost my virginity,” you breath out, Tom’s scared to look at you, but your eyes search the side of his face for some sort of reaction.

“Then why are you crying?” He asks, hand resting between the two of you, itching to take your hand and hold it, comfort you however he can.

“Because, I’m here, Tom,” you choke back another sob, hands covering your mouth as you cry, “I’m here and not in his bed. He, he fucked me and then told me I had to leave.”

Tom’s eyebrows furrowed and his lips downturned, open hand now clenched into a fist.

“He what?”

“He told me that I probably shouldn’t be there when his parents came back, so I had to leave.”

Tom’s silent. After so long of being your friend, your best friend, he knew when you wanted words to comfort you, and when you just wanted him to be there, a presence to keep you steady, make you feel less vulnerable.

He stood up, moving around his room, grabbing a face towel and sneaking into the adjoining bathroom to wet the cloth before kneeling in front of you on the bed. His hand shook as he took the warm washcloth to your face, wiping away your makeup. He attempted to wipe away your tears, he hated seeing you upset like this, setting the washcloth on the ground beside him, using his thumb to wipe a stray tear from your cheek.

You tried to keep your tears to a minimum, deep shaky breaths to steady yourself, “and I already told mom that I was staying over Audrey’s tonight, so if I come home now she’ll know I lied and know what happened and she couldn’t and you were the only person I thought I could trust and-,”

“You can, you can trust me. Okay?”

“Thanks Tom,” you voice cracked, raw from crying, you laughed a little, “who thought this would happen?”

Tom took another shaky breath.

Exhale. 

He wanted to give you the fucking world.

And you were here and asking for it, or at least parts of it.

More. More. More.

He stood up, grabbing a T-shirt and sweatpants from his drawers and setting it on the bed next to you, who had started to cry again, body shaking as your hands attempted to tear away your bobby pins that held you hair up.

“Shhh, it’s okay, I gotcha,” he says, sitting on the bed behind you, hands wrapping around your wrists and setting them back on your lap, his hands lingered just a little too long on your wrists before moving back to your hair, working on taking out each bobby pin. He didn’t have a brush so he attempted to run his fingers through your hair, working out each kink and knot careful not to hurt you. You were already hurt enough. 

His hands came to rest on your bare shoulders, your body heaving as you tried to calm down.

“I gotchu,” he whispered and you relaxed under his touch, still crying.

“Can I stay here?” Your voice small.

“Always,” Tom nods, fingers tapping against your shoulder as the only sounds in the room are your sobs and his heartbeat.

Thump thump thump, so fucking loud. He was scared even you would hear it. 

One of his hands slid to your zipper; tugging it down to right above your hips and he helped pull his shirt over your head, your arms lifting lazily to do part of the work as your dress got pulled off. Any other time he would’ve lost his mind seeing your bare back, body so exposed in front of him. He looked the other way, always the gentleman, as you kicked off your shoes and tugged your dress off the rest of the way, arms shaking as you tugged the sweatpants up your body.

“I can sleep on the floor and you can have the bed,” Tom starts to get off the bed when you turned to him wide eyed and voice frantic.

“Stay.”

He sits back on his heels, trying to think, mind racing, his twin bed would some maneuvering, you would both have to sleep on your sides, but it would work.

“Do you need anything else?” He asks as you climb up into his bed, slipping underneath the sheets and blankets, body curling up to the side.

He would gladly give you whatever else you asked for and more.

More. More. More.

“Stay,” your voice was tired, tired from dancing the night away, tired from giving everything to a boy who left you stranded, tired from walking in heels all the way to Tom’s parents home because you felt safe. 

“Forever,” Tom whispered, and he counted on your hearing loss and the fact that you were about to let sleep overcame you, he counted that you didn’t hear him. Even though his heart so desperately wanted you to. You didn’t. Sometimes he thought he could be screaming until his lungs collapsed and you still wouldn’t hear him. It was exhausting. He was exhausted. But not as exhausted as you must’ve felt. 

He climbed into bed as well, resting on his side, a few inches between his chest and your back. You tried to cry a little softer, slowly realizing whoever else is home would probably hear you.

“Do you need anything else?” He asks again, voice just loud enough for you to hear and arms awkwardly resting in between the two of you.

Tom can tell you’re thinking for a moment, contemplating how many friendship boundaries you were going to break. 

“Hold me,” you whisper, voice now steady. 

Tom takes another breath, unsure, because this is the girl he has the biggest fucking crush on, and damn it it was way past a crush at this point, and here he was, a body double for the boy who had sex with her and left her to pick up the pieces of her heart he seemingly broke. 

“Please,” you whisper through the silence and Tom can’t help but listen. He scooted closer, chest pressed to your back as he moves his arm under your head, resting his other arm across your stomach.  

You immediately relax against his chest, your hand covering his on your stomach while you breath and attempt to sleep, a few stray tears slipping down your cheeks. 

“Thank you Tom.”

***

The first time he ever called you a good girl it was by accident, he wasn’t going to lie, before you snuck into his bed late one night, a few days after that drunken one night stand you didn’t bring up again, he was watching porn. And he knew, he knew porn wasn’t what sex in real life was but he didn’t care because ever since that night he’s been in an almost constant state of arousal and he had to relieve tension one way or another. 

So when you slipped into his room and sat on his bed in a white lace sheer nightgown, nothing underneath and leaving nothing to the imagination, he almost came in his sweatpants. 

“Hi,” you grinned, hand resting on his calf while your other played with your hair.

“Hi,” Tom mumbles sitting up.

“I was thinking, I had a good time the other night. You had a good time the other night. We should uh, do it again.”

“Huh?”

“Oh,” your voice dropped all excitement, lip downturned, did he not enjoy himself? When he sobered up did Tom regret that night?

“Like sex?” Tom asks, voice curious about your intentions, all of your intentions as you sat looking like a fucking angel in front of him.

“Yeah,” you nod, hair falling in your face. Tom instinctively brushed it back behind your ear, hand falling on top of yours on his calf, “just sex,” you say, voice faltering.

Tom wished the tremble in your voice was because you didn’t want it to be just sex, just like he didn’t want it to be just sex. But he knew it was because you were nervous, laying yourself out for him, afraid he’d reject your idea.

“Just sex,” Tom nods, his other hand cupping your cheek to pull you into him, your soft lips kissing his own. 

He wished he could kiss the angel in front of him forever, but your hand moved from under his to settle at the back of his neck, fingers running through the bottom of his hair as you sighed into the kiss. Your tongue meeting his as your other hand rested against his chest, pushing him down as their lips broke apart.

And the angel choked him with her halo. 

His lips and cheeks red as your hand ran down to his crotch, running your palm over his covered hard on, “condom?” You ask, resting your ass against his thighs. 

“Bedside table, top drawer,” Tom manages to get out, and you twist above him, opening up the drawer and grabbing one of the few condoms laying there. You set it in his hand, closing his fist around it while you slide down his legs, kneeling between his spread thighs. 

“Wh-,”

“Gonna make you feel good, okay?” You ask, eyes watching for his permission as your hands play with the edge of his sweatpants.

“Please,” he manages to get out, breath already coming out in pants as you pulling his cock of out his sweatpants, fumbling as you work to push his clothes down his legs.

“Sorry,” you say, voice laced with a nervous excitement as you settled between Tom’s bare thighs again.

“All good,” he smiles down at you, crying out as your hand starts to stroke his cock, lips hesitantly wrapping around the head of it.

“Fuck,” he groans as your lips push further down his cock.

You look up at him nervously, wanting to please him, make him feel the absolute best. You didn’t know that anytime Tom spent with you was like he was spinning on the Spin-N-Win, the winning prize if you would have him. You press the button at the right moment and hit the jackpot, heart pounding as your fingers jabs the button, every other hit comes so close, but you lose no matter what. A rigged game set to fail. But the moments leading up to the downfall are what matters. Every time you took his breath away with a simple smile, every time you looked at him like he was the only other person in the world, he felt the absolute best, each day bringing him higher and higher. 

He smiled down at you, nervous hand running through your hair, moving it out of your face so he could see you, all of you.

“Good, fuck, feels so good, good girl,” Tom grunts out and you moan around his cock, moving the slightest bit quicker at the praise he gave you, the validation you were doing a good job.

Tom noticed this and kept it in the back of his mind as his cock twitched, the vibrations from your moans sending him so fucking close, “wait, wait, c’mere, lemme get a taste,” he says, voice coming out in pants as you pulled of his cock, smiling softly at him.

“Was that okay?” You ask, face nuzzling into his hand, eyes closed as you waited for his answer.

“Of course, fuck it was amazing, so good I don’t wanna come to soon, lemme make you feel good, okay?” He asks and you nod, shifting from between his legs to lay next to him as he tugs his shirt off, pulling you into the middle of the bed as he settles between your thighs, hands gripping them as he slowly pushes the nightgown up, kissing along your hip, eyes meeting your wet pussy as your hands trembled at your sides.

“This okay?” He asks, making sure you were 100% ready to spin in circles with him.

“Tom,” you mumble, “yes, please,” you cry out as his fingers spread your folds, his breath hot against your heat, tongue poking out to lick through your folds, pausing at your clit.  

“Oh fuck,” you groan as his finger pushes inside you, “Tom,” your hands shake as they run through his hair, craving the feeling of him so god damn close to you.

“Gonna make you feel good,” he whispers, lips vibrating against your clit, another finger pushing inside you as your hips buck against him.

“Tom,” your voice is breathy and perfect as you came.

***

Maybe Tom was making it up as you led him back to his room, one hand on his arm, the other playing your kazoo. 

This nagging feeling in the back of his mind that tonight would be different. You wouldn’t just have quick sex, disappearing to shower before re-emerging a little later to watch tv or play video games with him and Harrison. You’d fall asleep in his arms, head resting on his chest as you talked about everything, your eyes would droop and you’d fight to stay awake because you craved the time you had with him.

All Tom wanted was for you to hit the button at the right time, jackpot.

“Come on, want my real prize,” you laughed and the way the notes fell from your mouth, an echoing melody bouncing against the four walls of his room made Tom’s heart stop.

He was so fucking in love with you.

“Am I the prize?” Tom asks as you start to tug at his shirt.

“Mhm,” you said.

Tom wished he would always be your prize, but he held on with bated breath, knowing at any second you could trade in your fistful of tickets for an actual jackpot, and what you had with him would be over like that.

Neither of you spoke as you stripped each other, feet easily finding their way back to the bed, Tom kissing down your neck, never leaving a mark, always a gentleman.

He guided you down as his hand found a condom from his bedside drawer. 

You laid there, hair framing your face, fingers tracing patterns in his blushed chest as he rolled the condom onto his cock.

His fingers traced the side of your body, your arms around his neck as you pulled him down for more, more kisses, more touch, more everything. 

As he slips two fingers into you, mouth groaning, lips wetting the skin of your neck, your legs tighten around his waist. 

“Please,” you whimper, “fuck me.”

He nods against your neck and slips his fingers out of you, hand resting against your hip as his cock nudges your entrance.

The room is filled with both of your groans as he bottoms out, hips meeting yours as you yearn for more, whatever he can give you. 

It’s silent, no pleading, no praise, just the thick air of admiration Tom tries to show you through the movement of his hips, the tender touch of his hand on your hip, lips lightly pressing into the space between your neck and collarbone, whispering words he knew you never wanted to hear. 

You were both on the edge, your clit throbbing as his hand slid between the two of you, thumb running smooth circles around your clit as you cried out for him, giving him part of you as you come with a broken moan of his name. 

Your hand cupped his cheek, bringing his eyes to meet your own as his head tilts down and his lips capture yours. He’s amazed he’s lasted this long, eyes boring into yours, tears welling in his eyes and he struggles to blink them away. 

“Tom, you okay?” You ask, breathless as your other hand grips his bicep.

And of course you’re checking in on him, making sure that he’s okay, because you can see the tears struggling to stay in his eyes, you can feel the way his hips are stuttering against you. And you’re scared that he’s not okay, that he’s just going through the motions.

He nods, lips tight, afraid of what he would say if he parted them. 

“Yeah?” You nod, lips pressed against his cheek, softly kissing along his face, down to his jaw.

“Always,” he sighs, looking down at the angel spread out below him through blurry eyes. 

You capture his lips in your own, whining lowly as he pulls his lips away.

His mouth moves faster than his brain can as he comes, “I love you.”

And it’s a barely-there whisper and he counts on you not being able to hear him. He kisses down your neck as he pulls out of you, panting as he comes down from his high. He pauses when he sees you frozen beneath you. 

“Tom,” your voice is unsure, head tilting as your hands drop from his body.

He sits up, body sweaty, both of you sort of out of breath as he realizes what he said. Your eyes widen as you understand the implication of what he said.

“I’m sorry,” you mumble, scrambling out from underneath him, naked body grabbing your clothes as you rush out of his room. The only place you can go is your room, which you scramble to, ignoring Tom’s pleas.

“Wait, y/n, please wait!”

You slam your door and collapse on the other side of it. He throws on sweatpants and follows you, hand resting against your closed door, wishing he could bust in and talk to you, talk through what he just said.

But he knew you’d need space, time, to process what he said. So he turned as his back slide down and he sat on the other side of the door. Heart beating loud as he wondered what you were doing. He only saw your initial reaction, wide-eyed and terrified of his confession. He leaned his head against the door, eyes squeezed shut as he attempted to control his breathing. It wasn’t working, they came out in short pants as he felt himself lose the ability to breathe with each thought that raced through his mind. You were feeling much the same, head in your hands, his words repeating over and over in your head, you mouthed them yourself, ‘I love you’, feeling how the words moved across your lips, how each syllable felt gliding across your tongue. You didn’t know this but Tom fell asleep on the other side of your door, an unspoken barrier as tears slipped down his cheeks, eyes heavy as he struggled to stay awake, failing in the end.

You eventually stood up, feet dragging as your head pounds, collapsing on your bed, tears in your eyes because you felt like a complete idiot and an asshole. 

Harrison woke up Tom several hours later, confused at his friend’s state, shirtless, tears welled in his eyes as he stood up.

“I’m fine,” Tom said, knowing he was lying, he wasn’t fine. He wasn’t okay because he went and he revealed something he’s known in his heart was true for years, even when he lost his virginity to someone else, even when he tried to date other people, there was one constant. You. His love for you. And he sold his soul to the devil to fall in love with the angel who was too clueless to have a heart to love him back. 

***

Tom, hey, it’s y/n, obviously. You hate reading letters and I hate phone calls. You know why. The static, the delay, the muffled voice that I can never understand. So I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding your calls, but you know I never answer the phone for anyone, not even you. So this was the next best thing. A voice memo, I can get my thoughts out and you can listen to them, without the half a dozen awkward ‘what did you say’s from me. I’ve recorded and deleted these about 32 times already. So maybe this time will be the jackpot. Isn’t that what they say? You hit the jackpot on those arcade games every thirty or so tries? Anyways, everything came at such a shit time, I don’t know how else to describe it. Me leaving for vacation the day after. America is really beautiful, it always is when we visit. I’m sorry you couldn’t come this time. We’re at a place called Martha’s Vineyard, it has America’s oldest carousel. And it still works! Can you believe it? Anyways, I rode it and couldn’t help but think of you, and the time we went on the carousel at the arcade, it broke down as we were riding the horses, your hand flung out to hold onto mine as we lurched forward. I always thought it was because you thought I was scared. But I think you were scared. And that’s okay, because you of all people know how vulnerable I am. And how much I appreciate how you’re always by my side through those moments. So I’m sorry, sorry that at your most vulnerable I was an asshole. There’s no better word I can use for my reaction. I guess I acted like that because I didn’t know what to say. That’s still not a good excuse. I still don’t know what to say, I’ve spent this entire vacation thinking about what to say. I was never very good with my words anyways, but I’ve never felt like this before. What ‘this’ is? Haha, I don’t know, I don’t know if it’s what you said, but then again, I’ve never known what it’s like to feel like that, the way you feel about me. And trying to figure out these feelings sucks, no other way to say it. But I want to figure them out with you. That much is clear to me, through the haze of whatever we are, I know that much. I could never stop being your friend, since I met you and repeated every word you said to me the first day in third grade. I never told you but I went home and told my mom I met my best friend, a cute boy with a quiet voice who immediately spoke up when I told him I couldn’t hear him. And hasn’t been that quiet since. She laughed because she knew that childhood friends were just that, meant for childhood. But I knew that what we have is worth more than 18 years. It’s worth a lifetime. Four days and 17 hours until I land at Heathrow. Four days and 17 hours is how much time I’ve got left to reflect on everything, Four days and 17 hours until I see you again. I would love for nothing to change but I know that can’t happen, that train has already left the station. Because I like you, I like you more than a friend likes another friend, more than a best friend likes another best friend. I don’t want to say the other ‘l’ word, because I don’t know what that is supposed to feel like. Maybe it’s the way that my heart is beating so fast in my chest even I can hear it, the girl with ears that barely work. Maybe it’s the way you smile when you give me the tickets you won. Or the way you hugged me so tight and spun me around when I won the jackpot on the Spin-N-Win game, the pirate themed one? ‘Member? Maybe it’s the way you make me feel like I’m the only other person in the world, even with the hustle and bustle of everyone around us, your eyes look at me like I’m the only one who exists. And maybe I get caught up in what other people are doing, but I want you to know that you’re it for me, when I’m with you, nobody else exists. Wow I can’t believe I didn’t figure this out earlier. Save us more time, save us all this, whatever it is. But that’s okay, because we’ve got all the time in the world. Anyways, I can’t wait to talk to you, for real, in person, 4 days and 16 hours now. I would call you, but I don’t want to struggle to understand what you’re saying. I want to hear you loud and clear because everything you say is important to me. I’m pretty sure my phone is running out of storage, there’s a pop up message saying I’ve only got a minute left. And I’ve got so much more than a minute of things to say to you. I’ve got a fucking lifetime Tom. So, thank you for listening to me, if you’re listening to this message, memo, whatever. I like you, like like you, I think I even ‘l’ word you, but you deserve to hear me say it in person. 4 days and 16 hours Tom. 

***

taglist: @la-bellezaa @tom-hollands-blog @spider-babes @unicornsyy @sunshinedolantwins @practicallylivesonline @tom-hollands-wife @quinjetboi @rageyoudamnednerd @sunnydays0803 @jackiehollanderr @khhbby @fancyxholland @thomasthetankson @lousimusician @amyalpha @musiclover1263 @peterbxrnes @relise-thefury @tessathedragon @rebeccamckirgan99 @starsholland @stucky-is-bae @fandomdarlings @sluttylokii @peteunderoos @saysomethingspiderman @babygrootbabyjack @yamyam515 @dylanrauhl @spaceprintesa @mobbinholland @whisperingspace @desir-ae @cvrecem @legendsofwholock @christinaxolynn @particularmila @darktwistydiamond @aestheticqueen18 @i-guess-n0t

[palmett-hoes]

since the first step in achieving your goals is to state them aloud, here's a list of aftg fics/ au s that i'd like to write some day

- pre-canon fic from aaron's perspective spanning the twins' first meeting till they're drafted by the foxes and graduate high school. i'm increasingly enamored with aaron as a character as well as with an outside perspective of andrew's actions and i think it would be very interesting to look at the foundation on which their fraught relationship is built and first developed

- even more pre-canon fic. andrew's early life in foster care. yes, we all know about the most... gruesome things that were done to him, but i believe that there is plenty more that has affected and shaped him, especially in relation to my interpretation of andrew as an autistic poc. this would not be a happy fic.

- anastasia au. neil as anya, andrew as dimitri. possibly a plot amalgamation from both the animated movie and the stage show, with changes as i see fit. (no, neil is not the prince of russia). what i find most compelling about this au is the story of neil and andrew as childhood friends and then the angst of having andrew, as an adult, teaching an amnesiac neil how to act like a noble while being convinced that neil is an imposter. good shit

- art school/dance club au. the foxes attend the palmetto school of art at prestigious edgar allen university. they're considered the school's charity cases, and they are NOT friends. andrew is a studio arts major with a concentration in sculpture who works in the campus coffee shop in the mornings and frequents night clubs that employ pretty boys in the evenings. neil is attending college completely on his father's dime, PROVIDED he study what his father wants, despite his desire to study dance and music. going crazy without an outlet, neil takes a secret job as a go-go dancer. look. this may slightly possibly be a result of me having planned to party hardy this summer, then having my plans ruined by the virus :c

- 1950s High School au. the 1950s aesthetics fucking rock even though the 1950s fucking sucked. kinda wanna tackle both. plus, andrew already has that james dean bad boy fast car appeal

- an exploration of mary and nathan's relationship and history. i get that neil's parents are both super taboo and both really really awful people, but i have questions and i want to answer them

- neil never returns from baltimore. in order to keep his deals, permanently, andrew kills riko and tetsugi, and gets over 20 years in prison. when he gets out, he just wants to be alone, but it seems there's a ghost haunting him. this was conceived for MAXIMUM angst, no getting around it. i got the idea from a badacts fic and it has haunted me ever since

- post-canon sexuality exploration fic. i have a real passion for quality sex education and healthy experimentation, and neil very clearly didn't get the chance for either. yet at the end of the books he finds himself in a very intense sexual relationship. i just really want to give him the opportunity to find out how desire works for him and what he likes, on his own terms. i read a lot of fics where neil's desires seem to be completely dependent on andrew's initiaton, and while i do believe that andrew is the only person neil is attracted to and will ever be attracted to, i also want to explore how his sexuality manifests on its own. the vibe i'm going for is, uh, HornySweet (tm), but also with a lot of genuine eductional material. i want this is to be something that offers real information to its readers that may have been inaccessible for a lot of people, on topics like like sexual hygiene, maturbation, and sex toys in a non-fetishy way. this will be very very E rated, but like,, in a very earnest and goofy way because sex and sexuality is neat and cool but it's also not all serious perfect fucking. it's just,, a topic that deserves to be DISCUSSED

- mobster au. andrew, having never met aaron, takes a job for the moriyamas to track down a runaway asset. Neil. upon completion, they make andrew the butcher's apprentice, and pull neil back into the fold as a commodity rather than a person. lots of violence, lots of shady underground dealings, lots of plotting, lots of secrets.

i'm gonna put some more under the cut, ones that i don't feel as strong a drive towards right now or that i haven't thought as much about. if you (yes, YOU) like any of these, or are interested in any of these, or wanna hear more about any of these, or are even inspired to write something yourself by any of these please, PLEASE, say something in the notes, or send me a message, or an ask or anything. ANYTHING. i am stuck inside, all the time, and i am so, so lonely. i answer from hoob-gooblin

- princess bride au. come ON. princess bride is one of the most romantic AND most snarky movies of all time, and andreil literally invented love and devotion sooooooo it's a perfect match. "yes or no" vs "as you wish" kings of consent and communication and unconventional love declarations. also,, he may not be how I imagine andrew, but a young cary elwes in dramatic black pirate getup is DEFINITELY a valid andrew

- hozier au. sometimes,, i listen to an album, and imagine a fic that encompases the whole thing. nothing speaks louder to me than hozier's discography. (also, yes, i am gay). maybe a little bit inside llewyn davis. neil wanders through a small town and takes up some small jobs, but sings his heart out through twisted metaphors once a week in a hole in the wall bar staffed by a very short, dead eyed veteran

- prince and the pauper au. on a stealth recon mission in enemy territory, andrew encounters a local lord who happens to have his face. in a moment of desperation to save himself from arrest, andrew knocks the lord out and assumes his identity. he returns to the castle just in time for prince moriyama to arrive with a shifty-eyed, red-headed handservant in tow. lord aaron of columbia, meanwhile, wakes up on a ship manned by crown traitor and fugitive kevin day, calling him by a name he's never heard before, and then he's in the hands of the guerilla rebel forces that have been attacking the kingdom. i watched barbie princess and the pauper as a child and that movie fucking slaps

- little mermaid/beauty and the beast/bride of the rose beast/ladyhawke au. in a last ditch attempt to escape his father, neil trades his voice and his tail for legs and washes ashore on a small kingdom with horrible secrets. because he cannot speak, read or write, prince aaron employs neil to serve the monster in the catacombs, the prince's twin brother. the twins are under a curse that turns them into terrifying monsters, andrew by day and aaron by night. aaron's affliction is a secret, as is andrew's humanity. this is such a hodgepodge idea lol. did neil also have to be a mermaid for this to work? no. is he? hell yeah

- new york private school/twin swap au. aaron wins a scholarship to a prestigious school that will guarantee him a future, but then he relapses. convinced he just needs a little more time to get clean, he makes a deal with his volatile new brother, andrew, to stand in for him at the school just until he can his shit together. neil and ichirou moriyama have been raised together their entire lives, always under the knowledge that ichirou will inherit the family empire with nathaniel as his right hand. they hate the idea, but they have no way to escape, and now neil is being harassed by ichirou's bitchass estranged brother at their stupid, fancy private school. LISTEN, we as a fandom do NOT take enough advantage of the twin swap possibilities presented to us. pathetic

- post-canon fic where ichirou, realizing that the life of a mob boss is a lonely one, decides that he needs... a friend. however, because of the nature of his work, he can't just make friends with anyone, so he decides to make friends with neil. without consulting neil first. cue a lot of very weird, very awkward coffee dates where neil is convinced he's about to be disposed of, and ichirou just wants to know about his cats. the thing i like about ichirou is he’s a complete blank slate. i can make him a good guy, a bad guy, an ally, the Big Bad

- Kill Bill au. mary survives a bullet to the head and wakes up from a coma over a year later. with nothing left to lose, she sets out to single-handedly dismantle the wesninski circle. good thing she used to be its top assassin

- single dad andrew au. except look, look, stay with me here, okay, aaron is his son, and he's adopted nicky and kevin. LISTEN. STAY WITH ME. JUST THINK ABOUT IT. tbh the idea comes from my interpretation of the andrew/neil/kevin dynamic as distincly parental, then extending that interpretation to andrew's protection over the rest of his family.

- fashion au. andrew is a fashion designer and photographer who frequently works with allison reynolds. one day she brings around a short, twitchy assistant who looks like she just plucked him out of an alley. somehow, he becomes andrew's muse. i watch a lot of fashion competition shows

- ghibli. either howl's moving castle (andrew as sophie, neil as howl) or spirited away (?). maybe both idk

- legally blonde au. legally blonde is so good guys

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Hiii, i love Affinity war so much, its in my top 5 fave fics 💕 i’m not sure if you’re still doing prompts but if you are could i please have 8 and/or 24 with spideychelle please xx

Thank you very much, Anon!! That’s a huge compliment and it really means a lot to me! I’ve already written a fic for prompt 8 (read Hostel Feelings here!) and I am indeed still chipping away at these prompts, so here’s yours!

Her Best FeaturesPairing: Peter Parker x Michelle Jones (Spideychelle)Rating: GWord count: 1226

24. “Is that a tattoo?”

Peter talks a lot. Peter talks too much, and it’s getting worse. Ever since he figured out who hereally wants to talk to, he can’t shut up. He isn’t even sure if all thetalking is accomplishing anything because the person he’s talking to… well, shemostly communicates by giving him blank stares or the middle finger. Man, oneof these days, he’s going to spill something super important―keyword: super―andhe probably won’t even realize it until later. Unless Ned’s there. If Ned’sthere, he’ll be sure to tell Peter what an idiot he was right away. Which isnot that comforting a thought.

It’s Wednesday and Peter’s seriously considering showing upto the detention classroom after school just so he can keep breathing the sameair as MJ when his incessant talking to her during class actually earns him adetention. At least he doesn’t have to pretend. She told him one time that he’sa bad liar and he believed her. He also said “thanks.”

Ugh, it is what it is. Peter’s crush on MJ is massive.

In detention, he doesn’t know how to be quiet, doesn’t knowhow to sit still. Would it be outrageous for him to drag his desk across thefloor so that it touches hers? He’s doing it. There’s an ear-splitting shriekas the desk’s legs scrape the linoleum and Peter locks eyes with Coach Wilson,grimacing. He tells Peter to keep it down because he’s listening to Céline Dionon his Walkman. (Peter wonders if still using a Walkman was considered a pro orcon during the man’s hiring process at a school called Midtown Tech.)

All he gets from MJ is a raised eyebrow, but Peter isexultant, straightening his desk to align it perfectly with hers. The fact thathe hasn’t stopped staring at her escapes him for the moment because she hasn’tstopped staring at him either. Once her gaze does dart away, Peter flushes hard.

He looks around, as if this classroom―the most boring one inthe building, as far as he knows, selected as a form of sensory deprivation forhomework-non-turner-in-ers and talking-in-class-ers―has changed since the lasttime he was here. (It hasn’t.)

As Peter is about ready to accept the borderline criminallack of visual stimuli, he notices MJ’s arm, where she’s pulled up her sleeve.He leans towards her, eyes narrowing.

“Is that a tattoo?”

She gives him a sharp look.

“No.”

And looks away again.

Oh. Well, that was disappointing. Peter’s mind is racing,trying to conceive a follow-up comment, when she speaks again, making his browneyes go wide.

“I ran out of paper.”

Not only does MJ volunteer this explanation, she rolls hersleeve a little higher, inviting Peter to look. Along the length of her innerarm are several mouths sketched in blue pen. Parted lips with the hint of teethbehind them, closed-lipped smirks. Thin and full. He reaches out and feelsimmediately awkward and intrusive, but MJ gives an equally awkward little jerkof her head to say it’s ok, and Peter touches her skin near the inside of herelbow.

“They’re beautiful.”

She graces him with a small smile.

“Thanks, nerd. I’m practicing facial features.” His fingerstrail faintly over her skin, not thinking, and he feels her pulse surge beneathit. Peter looks from his hand to her face and finds her cheeks pink. “Uh,separately. Practicing them separately. Without a―” MJ points at her face andmakes a hasty circling motion. “―face.”

“Right,” Peter agrees, jerking his hand back to scratch theback of his head. Very casual. “Right.” As if his distracted words are any kindof useful validation. God, he has no idea what he’s talking about, but he’stalking. He’s always talking.

“You’re running out of space.” Jesus Christ, there he goesagain.

MJ shrugs, assessing her doodled arm.

“Yeah, I’d start on the other one if I could draw with bothhands.”

“Use me,” Peter blurts out. “I have… arms.” He’s alreadyshoving up the sleeve of his sweatshirt to substantiate his statement. “I mean,you need to practice right? Not that Ithink you need practice. You’re really great. At drawing.”

He’s begging to be called out as an idiot at this point, butMJ doesn’t seem to be listening. Her eyes are directed down, at the arm he’sangled across their joined desks. Peter’s gaze shifts frantically between hisarm and her face. When her hand reaches out, just like his did, he quitsbreathing. He thinks his expression is full of some kind of baffled wonder,like he saw on the kid’s face in this really old movie E.T. when the alien’s finger lights up.

Miraculously, her hand strokes his skin. Peter bends hiswrist back a bit to display the potential canvas and his forearm flexes. MJ’sfingertips veer away from his flat inner arm, pressing harder over raisedmuscle.

“AND I MADE MYSELF SOSTRONG AGAIN SOMEHOW,” Coach Wilson sings out suddenly.

Peter and MJ jump apart. He hadn’t noticed how close theirheads had gotten while they were both looking down.

“I was just making sure, uh, that you work out. That your arm would work out, for drawing on,” MJexplains.

“Right,” Peter says, for probably the millionth time now.

“So, just keep still,” she instructs, uncapping a pen andshifting to position her hand over his arm again. He misses how she wastouching him.

“Fine. I have…”

The word ‘homework’ eludes Peter, so he just points at hisSpanish workbook. His eyes are all over the side of MJ’s face as she begins toconcentrate. (On him! Ok, on her drawing, but it’s still on his arm.)

She sketches steadily and he’s addicted to the tickle of thepen across his skin. Although he doesn’t stare―he assumes it would bother her―Petercan’t focus on anything else. He’s become aware far too late that he gave herhis dominant arm; it’s not like he could write down an answer even if hethought of one. What he does do is become very familiar with the layout of theopen page.

He’s surprised when MJ stops. She’s paused a few times overthe past half-hour-ish, but this time, her pen doesn’t return to his arm.

“We still have time,” Peter says, glancing at her and theclock (hmm, maybe not that much time).

“I’m done.”

He looks, holding his arm up. She’s created a row of eyes.They’re amazingly realistic for something drawn in thirty minutes on hisforearm. There are eyelashes and shadows, flecks in the irises that almosttrick Peter into believing the eyes are more than one colour.

“These are incredible. It’s crazy that you did this sofast,” he says, wanting to give her every compliment. Talking, talking,talking.

“There are only six,” MJ says.

Her tone of downplaying is so ridiculous that Peter laughs.She smiles slightly in surrender.

“Why six?”

The bell rings to end detention and he isn’t ready to beaway from her.

“Because you already have two on your face,” she says,stuffing her pen into her ponytail and sliding out from her desk. “Later,Parker.”

Peter’s the last to leave―including Coach Wilson,who shuffle-dances out the door―as he sits there, stunned, thinking about thenumber of eyes on a spider.

Pick a prompt for a Spideychelle drabble!

[purplesurveys]

742

Are we alike? So True or False, Yes or No. Explain if you'd like. You are 16 years old. 16+6. You are a junior in high school. Graduating college senior. Math and Science aren't your best subjects. I was definitely more of an arts student. I only did great in math and science when I liked the topics we were learning, but otherwise I never felt like exerting as much effort for them as I did for classes like history. Your dog is really little. He’s medium-sized. He’s a really weird size actually hahaha and I guess it’s because he’s mixed. He’s too big to be classified as a small dog and too small to be grouped with the larger dogs. You love being tan. I mean I obviously don’t go advertising how much I love it, but it’s definitely nothing to complain about.

You think you are pretty for the most part. I have my days. You love making other people smile. Getting people’s approval is always a nice achievement. You love bracelets or just wearing jewelry in general. I think jewelry’s pretty but I’m particular about them – I prefer them to be silver and for them to have subtle designs, never explosive as I think that’s a tad bit tacky. Also I prefer necklaces to bracelets. TLC is one of your favorite channels on TV. It certainly would be if I still regularly watched television. I know for a fact Gab and I will tune in to TLC when I crash at her place. You have been in three different countries. Six, so far. You have ridden in a plane. Yeah well I live in an archipelago, so we’re separated from all the countries near us and have had to ride planes to get to them. You’re learning how to drive a car. I already did. I’ve had my license for four years. You have had 3 serious boyfriends. You believe you can only have 1 true love. As a demi this is typically how I think, but I like keeping my mind open. I know this is certainly not how it works for a lot of people, and that’s valid. You have a job. You have been to Aruba. No but if anything this reminded me of Friends because this was where Rachel was supposed to have her honeymoon before she ran out of her wedding hah. That contributed absolutely nothing to the conversation but yep. You love little babies or children :) Yes, and it increases as I get older. I have to practice for when it’s my turn, lol. You can't wait to get married one day. You always try to have a smile on your face. Not always. I allow myself to be sad or cranky if I want to. Your emotions change very easily. Sometimes. It’s not a dominant trait of mine though; I can typically keep my emotions consistent and it’s only volatile if I’m under a lot of pressure or stress. You cry very easily. Yep, I’m very sensitive. Earlier today I cried over a girl’s Tiktok about her dog with diabetes and the adjustments that had to be made for him, like how he stopped going down the stairs or sleeps a lot more these days. You cry a lot. Yes, because I cry easily. You have a boyfriend you have been with for a while. Girlfriend. You hate when people say 'I love you' too quickly. Idk, I haven’t had to deal with this.  The hair on your legs grow very quickly. Not very quickly but yeah it does grow back after a certain amount of time. I shave every one or two weeks. You always feel like your back needs cracked. It’s definitely not in the best shape, coupled with the fact that I already have scoliosis to begin with. You’re still trying to determine what you want to do after high school. I have career fields in mind but as for exact jobs, no. You love fashion. I like keeping up with what’s trending within my age group but I’m not obsessed with fashion at all, like I don’t know the fashion week schedules or who the biggest models are these days, and I still think some fashion trends don’t make sense. You love shopping for school dance dresses. You think decorating is very cool. It’s okay. I wouldn’t do it myself but I have friends who are great at decorating, like Laurice, and I think it’s a good and a pretty cool skill to have. You always seem to be cold. Not always, but I do feel cold more easily than the people I know. I’m always the first one to grab a jacket, a blanket, or to move further away from the AC. Still, I prefer being cold than hot. You love hot weather. Oh my god fuck no. 22 years of living in a tropical country and I’ve had just about enough of the sun which is all we get all year round. I can’t wait to live somewhere with a lot of rain and with snow. You have tanned in a tanning bed. I don’t have to; plus aren’t those really unhealthy to stay in? You aren't a very good cook. I can’t even call myself a cook. You aren't an independent person. Hah, no sir. I find comfort in doing almost everything with at least one person with me, even if it’s just grabbing a snack or having something photocopied in school. I went to UPTC alone ONCE just to try having dinner all by myself cause everyone seemed to have great experiences of it, but I hated every second of being alone. You like any type of food, you aren't picky. The only foods I’ll refuse are fruit and anything with raisins on them, but generally I’m not hard to feed.

Country is your favorite kind of music. You quit watching American Idol. I quit when I realized all the wrong people kept winning. If I remember right, the last straw for me was Scotty McCreery over Lauren Alaina. You like the show 'Big Brother'. I never did get into it, but everyone did. I used to think something was wrong with me for not enjoying any season of the show, but eventually I stopped caring. You used to like Jersey Shore. I was only interested in it because it felt edgy to watch as a 12 year old lmao, but I was never obsessed. You think tye dye is super cool. It’s definitely cool and fun to make, but it’s not the first, fifth, or thirtieth thing I’d wear. You love glitter. Your nails are almost always painted. Total opposite. You have had sex before. You have a best friend of the opposite sex. I have close friends, but no best friends. Andrew is the best closest guy friend I have, probs. You have been stabbed in the back a few times. You don't trust many people. Again, quite the opposite. I like to believe everyone deserves trust in the beginning, but I have a rule to cut anyone who breaks that trust out of my life. You don't have many close friends. I have a lot of friends but I like keeping my closest circle small. You’re normally nice to everyone. Duh? You like to meet new people. Egh, it depends on who it is. I can find other people exhausting to talk to from the get-go; or sometimes I’ll find them too different and I just know no friendship is gonna come out of it. Sometimes you can be pretty shy. I’ve learned to be a bit more extroverted through the years but I’ve never lost my trademark shyness hahaha. You don't have any secrets. This blog is a big glaring secret from everyone I know. Your boyfriend has supported you through your hardest times. Girlfriend. You have a scar from cutting your leg while shaving. Not right now, but it’s happened a few times. You think flowers are very pretty. They’re okay. I’m not crazy about them but I do like giving/receiving bouquets. You hate nature. I have no reason to; it’s peaceful and beautiful. You don't like animals very much. Love them. You like to eat meat, any kind. I wouldn’t try all kinds of meat. Like I wouldn’t eat cats, dogs, or anything that’s critically endangered. But I do tend to be adventurous with meat, much like with any other dish I try. You have eaten donkey before. You’re pretty close with your parents. Like I said in an old survey, we have a buddy-type of relationship. We don’t hate each other but we also wouldn’t have heart-to-heart talks with one another and we’re so not emotionally close. You are also very close with your sibling(s). My sister and I also tend to treat each other like friends, ^ just like that. We’re not emotionally close either; when my sister’s cat died last week I could only send her comforting messages on Messenger because we’re not the type to visit each other’s rooms and cry to each other. You don't mind being around your family. If there is anything I learned in the last two months, it’s that this exact fact holds true. You love summer. Only when there is a trip planned. Otherwise, I don’t enjoy the weather at all. You don't know how to swim. There were always a couple of months allotted for swimming PEs in all years in my old school, so I know basic swimming and treading. You like being a teenager. It was okay. It certainly got better when I finally fit in somewhere and got invited to teenager stuff. You thought you were depressed at some point in your life. I was, throughout my teenage years. These days I’ll occasionally have very low points, but I don’t think it’s severe depression anymore. You feel like someone is growing apart from you. No, not at this point in my life. You like to take walks. With this climate, I always bitch about walking haha. When school was still ongoing I would typically drive everywhere, no matter how near my destination was.   You aren't very good at buying gifts for people. I wouldn’t say this. I pride myself on being a good listener and by extension, being a good gift-giver. I’ve often made Gab cry with my gifts. You love seeing couples in love. Sure but tbh I’m partial to same-sex couples because I see them a lot less. When I see one in public I always make sure to give them a kind smile. You love weddings :) I haven’t been to one since I was 9, but sure. You are addicted to sweets. You get scared very easily. Only at night. You don't like to be alone. If I’m doing stuff outside, then yes this is the case. Otherwise I don’t mind having alone time at home. Many people have asked if you were black, but really you're white. I’m neither of these. You could do without the TV. Have been for a few years now. You text a lotttt. Back when everything was normal and I had load on my phone every week, yep. I don’t really need to text anyone these days, though. You tend to make extra letters on your words. Only occasionally. You hate when people use bad grammar. It only bugs me when I expect them to know better, like if an American is being cocky or racist but still fucks up basic grammar; or if a Filipino wants to act like a know-it-all and obviously has poor command of English, but still forces themselves to speak it when they could very well speak Filipino in this hugely bilingual country lmao. You have a little bit of chub on you but you aren't fat. Not really. I only get bloated after I eat but my metabolism is very quick and it disappears relatively quickly. You are pretty good at rollerblading. I was never good at it even though I practiced a lot. I generally have bad balance. You wish you were a good gymnast. Sure, I feel that this is a very cool skill to have. I remember being fascinated by the gymnasts from Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo and how prettily they spun their ribbons. You are a competitive cheerleader. I am not, but it was one of my dreams. You are very uncoordinated. I wouldn’t say very. I’m not very physical these days and I can be clumsy, but my hand-eye coordination has stayed sharp all these years from playing table tennis; and I was good at futsal and had good reflexes when we had to play it for PE. You aren't good at making decisions, but you try your best. You love God very much :) This is such a hard pass it deserves a strikethrough.

You love lotion and perfume. I love the variety that’s available out there, but I don’t splurge. You wish you could own everything in Victoria's Secret. You wish you could be a model. You hate when girls are sluts. Even the word ‘slut’ isn’t gonna fly by in 2020, much less this entire statement. You hate when people act dumb on purpose. Don’t we all? You don't care what other people think of you. Depends on who it is. Some opinions will matter, and some won’t. You love to cuddle. You wish you could bake. I wish I can be good at the kitchen in general but tbh I always let my fear of fire and knives take over and I’m always left too scared to learn. You would like to own a pool. When I’m richer, sure. You kind of regret a few things... You want a little tattoo that no one can see. I kind of want my tattoos to be personal to me, yes.

[snarkysboys]

Chapter Two (part one): The Boys

When Danielle awoke that morning, she could feel a dull ache in her lower back and tail bone. Likely, a nasty purple bruise was already budding across her underside. She groaned and rolled over, reaching out her hand to pry her phone off the table-side charger, but came up empty. She then recalled having lost her phone the previous night. And then she recalled him. The immense, vigilante, sword wielding turtle. Her eyes shot open and she pulled herself grudgingly up to sit on her tender tailbone, her plump comforter splayed along on her lap. Doubtless to her was his existence, as her memories had yet to deceive her at this young age. She wholly dismissed the option of it being a figment of her slumbering subconscious as well. As she replayed the nights events again in her head, she was left with the resentment of not acquiring the anomaly’s name, if he had one, before he disappeared over the rooftops and, presumably, her life. She was doubtful of them ever having a second encounter.

 Danielle rolled her legs off the bed to stand wearily, her tender muscles aching under the weight, and began her journey to the kitchen. The coffee pot was her immediate priority. Billy was already awake and seated on the couch, engaged in a morning talk show. “Morning Dans.” She smiled chipperly, eyes still on the television. Danielle could only grunt a response, never breaking stride. Once everything was set and the coffee began to brew, Danielle hauled herself up on the counter across the machine to wait, her legs and head gently swaying downward. Suddenly, a glint singed her eye as something reflective on the dining room table caught the sunlight to dance on her retina. Danielle focused her attention only to discover it was her cell phone and wallet neatly stacked on the table.  

“Hey!” Danielle exclaimed, hopping off her perch. She grasped her cell phone, bewildered, and noticed a few red splotches now decorated her mint wallet.  

“Oh yeah.” Billy piped up from behind. “I found those out on the deck this morning. You probably shouldn’t leave that stuff out there in case it rains, yo.”  

“I didn't. I’m pretty sure I dropped these last night by the van.”  

“Huh.” Billy stopped to think a moment. “Well guess your guardian angel was looking out for you in more ways than one.”

“Yeah no kidding. Come to think of it, it could have been bad news if the cops had found my things by the crash.”

“Ah yeah, for sure. I wouldn't have been able to bail your poor ass out either.” She snickered. Danielle took a seat at the dining table turning the phone over in her hands, the freshly brewed coffee effectively forgotten. The phone was cheap but durable considering only a few small scuffs now graced the screen.

A few minutes of contemplation and then, “Well, now I can call off work with my own phone.”

Billy smiled devilishly. “Playing hooky?”

Danielle held up one of her bandaged hands. “Gonna have a hard time making pizza’s like this”  

“Valid point”

-----

Danielle’s freshly charged cell phone read 1:53 am. She was standing outside in an alleyway a couple of blocks from her apartment. In one hand, she held a ziploc bag filled with chocolate chip cookies she coaxed Billy into baking. In the other, she held a dual pet-food dish filled to the brim with cat food. Danielle had that whole two birds, one stone mentality. She placed the food dish on the ground as three alley cats had already come out from hiding to circle her feet. “Hey buds, who's hungry?” She surveyed the felines, crouching beside them. “Looks like we got Clubs, Bartleby and Snowman tonight.” She gave the only friendly cat, Clubs, a few pats and a smile before standing and resuming her trip further into the deserted alley.

Danielle took a steadying breath then tentatively shouted out. “Uh... Hello! Renegade turtle guy?! Uhm. If you’re around, I’d like to speak with you.” She couldn’t help but let out a light sigh. This was truly a silly plan on her behalf, but she was unsure of a better way to initiate a second meeting with the turtle man. Ridiculous as it was, she knew she had to at least try. “Hello!! Listen, I know you’re like a superhero or something and probably save people all the time, but I like...I dunno...wanted to thank you, if possible.” Her voice trailed off at the end of each sentence. Her outset confidence was strong though continuously waning with each subsequent word. The night air was still. The only other sound was that of the cats feasting a few feet behind her. Danielle stood planted in that alley for another twenty minutes, periodically shouting up toward the stars in hopes that the proper recipient might somehow hear her in this enormous cityscape. After a while, Danielle squatted down with her back along one of the nearby walls and pulled out a homemade cookie to snack on. In between bites she kept up her feeble messages, discouragement starting to weigh heavily on her shoulders. Little did she know a couple dozen feet above her stood four ninjutsu seasoned terrapins debating whether to answer her calls.  

“So, which one of you is she referring too?” Donatello asked as he adjusted one of his elbow pads.  

“Okay I swear it’s not me.” Michelangelo quickly jumping to his own defense.  

“Like we’re gonna believe that.” Raphael crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes at the youngest brother. Mikey feigned a look of dismay but then immediately put his hands up in surrender.  

“Honest Raph. I’ve been busy all week getting caught up with this new monster comic Donnie got me. It’s about this race of skinwalkers that forms an allegiance with these mole people to-”  

“It was me.” Leonardo curtly cut in. Everyone turned to look at the leader who, in turn, locked his eyes at the girl down below. Raph opened his mouth to counter but Leo continued, “While I was on patrol last night, I came across a solo Kraang droid as he was driving somewhere. I followed him to see what he was up to, but he spotted me and started shooting. I deflected one of the shots back into the tire and it spun out of control, nearly taking that girl along with it. So I helped her out of there.” The other three turned their attention back downward.

Danielle raised her head to the sky again, “Turtle guy I swear I won’t tell anybody about you! I just want to talk.... shit.. I just kinda screamed that for the world to hear. Well, most people would think I’m crazy anyway!” At this point, she shouted that mostly just to reassure herself. And perhaps she was crazy. Sitting out in the darkest hours of night and screaming at rooftops did seem like a particularly crazy thing to do. At this rate, she wagered someone would soon be calling the police on her for public disturbance.  

High above her the bulkiest of the turtles snorted and turned back to his older brother, “I dunno Leo. She’s kinda cute. Maybe you should go down and say hi.”  

Mikey instantly crashed in, his cerulean eyes glistening, "Can we Leo? Please, please please! We could totally always have more friends!!"  

Leo stole a sideways glance at his brother, debating the whole situation. It was always dangerous, for all parties involved, to allow more people into their families' inner circle. Coupled with this, she had such an unprecedented interest in him that Leo was simply unfamiliar with. She did not immediately alert to him that she was a threat. He could rule out her being a member of the foot as her lack of fighting skills against the Kraang was proof enough of that. But his unwavering doubt still lay heavy on the leaders’ shoulders. Even if she wasn’t a physical threat, she could be someone who wanted to trap him and reveal his secret identity to the city, as Master Splinter had warned humans might do. It was always a gamble and Leo had been taught not to bet on his family’s safety if he could help it.

Again, the four brothers heard her voice cutting through the air. “I have a thank you gift! My roommate made some homemade cookies! I don't know if you eat those but I just thought-” Her sentence ran into silence as she didn’t know how to continue. The last of her energy surrounding this plight was depleted and she was ready to throw in the towel.  

“Cookies?” Mikey said. The other brothers all quickly snapped their attention to the youngest, but it was too late. “I love cookies!” He exclaimed as he excitedly launched himself over the lip of the building, sliding down the fire escape.  

“Mikey!” “No!” “Stop!”  

[wenotaboutlove]

prom night

To start this blog I thought I should start with my earliest memory. This is a sweet yet cringy one, so buckle up!

Prom. A night to remember. Throughout high school I always imagined myself going to senior prom with a hot guy and loosing my virginity to him. Tale as old as time. For me that boy was Sean. Sean was very out of my league. Tall, smart, quiet, popular, athletic, and oh so hot. I only ever spoke to him thrice, but when I did my heart would skip a beat. He had a nonchalance about him, a je ne sais quoi. For some reason I held on to the hope of him asking me to prom. Spoiler alert, he didn’t ask me. No one officially asked me, actually. Instead I “went” to prom with a friend of a guy who wanted to go to prom  with my best friend. I say “went” because we didn’t arrive together, there was no corsage, no limo, nada! We met up at prom and had awkward conversation. Plus there was another girl, a lower classmen, who was continuously flirting with him. I let her have him- I later heard she gave him head at an after party. So Jeremiah, if you’re reading this, you’re welcome. 

During the dance I was actually invested on another guy who was also named Sean. I was hoping he would notice me but he didn’t. My friend and I decided to leave the dance and head to an after party. At that point I was feeling the prom night blues. I didn’t have an actual date. No guy was dying to dance with me. My friends were lame and didn’t want to throw that ass in a circle. Not to mention my makeup lady did me dirty and I looked a hot mess. But it was alright because there was still an after party. My friend and I hopped on an uber and we were on our way! 

I’d like to start by saying we didn’t know whose house we were going to. A friend of a friend sent us the flyer to the party. The uber ride took a shockingly long time. We went from Buckhead to Bankhead real quick. When we arrived we were confused. There were about 10 people there. We thought maybe we had the wrong house. We decided we would give it 20 minutes. If more people didn’t arrive then we would leave.

Thankfully people did start to arrive. We didn’t recognize any of them but hey, it was starting to get lit. Being the social anxiety lil bitch I am, I was a wallflower. I will say i do regret not dancing my ass off, because if I were dancing none of the shit I’m about to tell y’all would’ve happened. 

A group of Hispanic boys are standing and talking next to me. And let me just paint y’all a picture. There I am, full face of cakey makeup, sitting on the floor, wearing my friends tshirt with no bra because apparantley you’re supposed to pack an after party outfit. All of a sudden one of the guys comes up to me and says “ You tryna fuck with my friend?”. Although I was flattered for being considered I politely declined. Eventually two of the boys and I start sparking an actual converstion. I ask if they were coming from their school prom and they said yes. I’ll admit I thought one of them was pretty cute.

Now before we go any further I need to tell ya’ll something about me and Hispanic boys, more specifically Mexican boys. I don’t date them. I will date anyone else but Mexican boys. Before ya’ll call me racist let me explain. I’m Mexican, and I mean I was born in Mexico and had to cross the goddamn border. I don’t go for fellow beaners because they all either look like my brother or my cousins or my uncles. It makes me uncomfortable. Plus, for the most part, Mexican guys are not my style. They’re all so cheesy and corny, it grosses me out. So there. 

Anyways, of course the boy that I was somewhat interested in didn’t really pay attention to me, but his less cute friend did. By that point I was willing to take what I could get. His name was Patrick. Odd name considering he had “el nopal en la frente”. So there we were. Patrick and I being wallflowers at this random after party. I was tipsy at that point after eating some alcohol laced gummies- yes those are a thing. We talked and talked. Well, I talked and talked. I think I told this guy my whole life story. It was getting late and I was thinking “ is this it? Am I going to have sex with him?”. I thought it over and decided that I wouldn’t. He asked to kiss me and I just felt gross, my makeup was droopy, I felt very gutter slut. I said no to the kiss. 

I will say he was a very sweet guy. When I got cold he put his jacket over me. He walked me to the car when my friend’s mom came to pick us up. I caved and gave him my snap. On the car ride I did feel a little gitty. Someone out there liked me, even if I wasn’t too crazy about him. I felt like a teen. All throughout high school no boy had ever showed interest in me. I had never felt wanted. With him I could tell he got butterflies around me. It felt nice. 

The next day at school I was more than excited to tell my girlfriends about my “crazy” night. They were so happy for me. I had finally found a guy that liked me, I was finally validated. My friend told me that he asked her if “my baby had gotten home ok”. He called me his “baby”! I had many thoughts rushing through my head. “Is he going to be my first boyfriend?’”, “do I actually like him or the idea of having a bf?”, “I don’t care, I’ll finally have a bf!”. 

We texted back and forth. I can’t quite remember what we actually talked about but it was nice to have someone to text. Then one day I get a text that says “I have to tell you something”, not sure why but I automatically knew what he was going to say. It all clicked, he’s not 18. I never asked his age, I just assumed he was 17 or 18. He then says “ I’m not 18, I’m 16″. Massive yuck! Any maniscual feeling I had for this boy went out the window. I have a thing where I can not date anyone younger than me, even if they’re just one year younger. I instantly see them as a fetus. I told him it was ok, we could remain friends. He goes on to say that we should still go out. I informed him that it would technically be ilegal, considering I was almost 18 at the time. He was presistant. He said no one needed to know. Umm hecky no, I was not trying to catch a case, especially since I barely even liked the guy!

He did not care. He then proceeds to drop the L word. The freakin L word! I told him it is impossible for him to be in love with me, he didn’t even know me! We had only known each other for about four days at this point! He goes on to say it was “love at first sight”. I came to the realization that he was just a boy of 16. He had no experience. He didn’t know what love is. He was just eager to find someone, a complete stranger. Someone to try and make him feel nice, wanted. I sympathized with him. I agreed to a date.

Now, this date wasn’t for us to further our “relationship”. It was to make him see that he didn’t love me. We are completely different. I saw this date as an oppurtunity to let him down and teach him a few things. 

Lessons on my agenda:

-Veganism. How it can aid in global warming and sustainability

-The crisis in Venezuela. Most people are dying of hunger

-Gun violence

Yes, I did indeed talk about these and only these topics. And of course he was more interested in getting to know me but that wasn’t going to happen. We had decided to meet at a cupcake shop and I strategically got there early and bought myself a cupcake. Prior to that he had mentioned how he wanted to pay because “that’s what gentlemen do”. I guess he wanted to show me that chivalry wasn’t dead. But the awkwardness was alive and well. The whole time he could barely look at me. I could tell he was nervous. I didn’t make it easy on him considering the fact I dressed in the cutest little outfit, I wanted to really make it hard on him. I saw it as an opportunity for him to really grow. We walked for a while and he was bold enough to make a move. He very swiftly grabbed my hand and I very swiflty snatched it away. The date came to an end shortly after that. My parents came to pick me up. My mom always remembers him and ask when I’ll see him again, even after years. After that I made it clear to him that I was never going to date him. Seems harsh but I knew I would never come around to like him. Our texts became dry. Until eventually we stopped talking. 

I still think of him fondly. The first guy I ever went on a date with. His curly hair. His bashfulness. His Irish name. Patrick, thank you for starting my dating career, even if you were underage. 

[artemis-entreri]

"Have you eaten?”

“Not yet,” the assassin replied automatically. Then, realizing that he’d been alone, that he should’ve still been alone, Entreri lifted his head just enough that his heavy-lidded eyes could behold the colorfully-clad drow.

He sighed and let his head drop back onto his arms. Although he’d never admit it out loud, the exhausted man was glad that it wasn’t any other voice, for he wasn’t sure that he’d had it in him to snap his head up in time.

“How’d you get in here?” Entreri asked, his voice muffled by his arms. A spice-tinged floral aroma tickled his nose, and he peeked over his arms to behold a ruby-red gaze appraising his own.

“What?” the assassin sighed wearily.

“Answering uninhibitedly, asking obvious questions, general lowered situational awareness...  what’s gotten into you, my abbil?” Jarlaxle tsked.

Entreri groaned and buried his eyes in his arms again, his temple beginning to throb. “Go away.”

The assassin wasn’t surprised to hear the scrape of another chair being pulled up to the table, or the shoving of his arms to the very edge of it until he could just barely still balance his head on top of them. Breathing another deep sigh, he began to gather the scant bit of energy he’d conserved from his brief repose to confront his uninvited guest, when a different smell seized him.

“What--?” the perplexed man looked up, and his vision was immediately obscured by steam. He didn’t think to complain though, for the steam was accompanied by an intoxicating scent, so rich that it energized his limbs far more than his respite did. Entreri pushed himself up to better behold the extravaganza unfolding before his eyes, and as soon as his arms cleared the table, a plate bearing a handsomely roasted leg of boar was pushed to where his head had been a moment before.

“Eat,” his companion ordered, and the assassin didn’t protest. Not bothering to even look at the fork and knife that the drow had set down, Entreri grabbed a protruding piece of bone and tore off a hefty chunk.

The drow watched the crude display with a disapproving frown, but the human just met his gaze and continued to rip off pieces with his teeth. 

“At least make sure you’re getting a balanced meal,” Jarlaxle chided as he reached for the savaged and now much less handsome-looking meat. Before he could pull the plate away even a little, the assassin snapped a hand onto it, glaring at the drow. It wasn’t the dangerous man’s usual deadly glare however, for it reflected the dancing glitter in those ruby eyes that Jarlaxle rolled at him.

The mercenary heaved a great exasperated sigh and pushed a plate of green stuff towards the assassin. That took up the last of the space on his side of the small table. 

“Ah, my abbil, why do you always choose to live in such ignoble places?” Jarlaxle lamented as he stood, lifting a bread from the basket that he’d also procured. Circling to his companion’s side, he started to poke the side of Entreri’s face with the bread, but stopped, and instead sniffed. 

And sniffed. 

And sniffed. 

And continued to sniff while circling the assassin like a hummingbird attacking a delectable flower until Entreri could no longer ignore him.

“What is it now?” the irritated man dropped his mostly-gnawed bone onto the plate.

“When was the last time you’d bathed?”

Entreri threw up both hands. “Oh, for the love of every god in every pantheon--”

The drow skipped out of his view. However, Entreri didn’t need to look, didn’t need to hear the sound of wood scraping against wood to know that Jarlaxle had gone for the tub. The assassin pushed his chair back with a growl and spun to his feet.

“Jarlaxle, I don’t need a bath!”

“I would have to disagree, my abbil,” the mercenary replied without looking up, still engrossed in dragging the tub to the center of the room.

Entreri started to argue, then sighed and shook his head. “I don’t have time for one right now.”

Jarlaxle stopped and straightened. He folded his arms. 

“You haven’t had time for one in a while.”

Entreri conceded with a small nod.

“Just as you haven’t had time to eat. Just as you haven’t had time to sleep -- properly, I mean.”

Discomfort crept over Entreri like spiders under his skin. “Circumstances have been especially pressing,” he tried to explain, but even to his own ears his words sounded like an admission of guilt.

The drow closed to him and began to unlace his shirt. “You’ve been neglecting the wider perspective, my abbil. You might spare some time in foregoing a meal, a bath, a nap, or any other self-tending rituals, but at what cost? For as any poisoner can tell you, the more poison you make, the more gold you make, until you throw back a glass of water that is not.”

Entreri caught both lace ends and held them fast. “Are you Drizzt Do’Urden then, come to lecture me?”

Jarlaxle chuckled but didn’t let go of Entreri’s shirt. “Hardly! Drizzt would not call you ‘abbil’ or try to undress you - or at least, I’d hope he wouldn’t!”

Entreri mock-blanched and covered his mouth. “Wonderful, now you’ve made me ill.”

Jarlaxle laughed again, but this time in triumph, for the assassin’s gesture allowed him to pull the string loose. Capitalizing on his victory, the drow began to peel his companion’s shirt back, but Entreri’s hands were there to deflect his. The mercenary would’ve been happy to push back, but stern gray eyes caught his own, freezing him. 

“Jarlaxle, please, I need to tend to things now.” The assassin’s voice was soft but firm.

The drow’s shoulders drooped with his sigh, and his delicate fingers went to the human’s shirt again. They gracefully re-threaded the string through the lacing holes. 

“Promise me that you’ll take better care of yourself?”

“If I do, will I be spared the intrusions and the threat of forced bathing?”

“Not likely.”

“There’s your answer, then.”

Both chuckled helplessly. It didn’t take long for the sounds of mirth to fade, replaced by a awkward silence.

“I need to go,” Entreri finally said, and Jarlaxle nodded quietly.

“I’ll not be in your way then,” the mercenary said, and headed for the door.

“Wait,” the assassin’s call halted him.

Jarlaxle turned around, one eyebrow raised, his eyes expectant and his smile hopeful.

Entreri’s outstretched finger guided the drow’s gaze to the table. “Don’t forget to clean that up.”

[[ I wanted to write this even though I feel that it is kind of out of character for Artemis, as he’s the type of person to have a solid regiment of self-care, since that’s a necessary part of keeping himself at peak performance. But I wanted to do something about the importance of not neglecting self-care, no matter what things might arise. Even if there seems to be no time to eat, do hygiene stuff, and rest, you need to drop other things to make time for those.

I know that that’s really obvious so I feel silly talking about it, but today I had a poignant brush with how bad things can be if I don’t do the basic things of taking care of myself, like eating. I struggle with chronic major depression and PTSD, and the medications I take cause mild to severe nausea, so eating is something that I don’t enjoy doing. Nonetheless, I force myself to do it, even though eating makes the nausea worse. In any case, I was so crazy busy with work today that I forgot that I hadn’t eaten, and at around early afternoon, I felt so extremely weak and tired that I had to lay down, and didn’t feel like I could get back up afterwards. I decided to eat something even though I doubted it would’ve done much for me, because I felt that shitty. 

Surprisingly, after I’d gotten some food in my stomach, I totally recovered. I mean yeah, the nausea worsened as usual, but having the energy and strength to finish my work was much better than literally being unable to do anything but lay there.

So I guess what I’m trying to say is, there’s a lot of stuff in our lives that deter us from engaging in proper self-care. I know firsthand how difficult it is for one struggling with mental illness to practice self-care, but it’s not any less valid when people feel that they’re too busy to do self-care. I used to be of that second category too, but that’s a totally wrong mindset. 

Anyway, I’ll shut up now and go back to wondering if I should’ve done a different ending in which Jarlaxle bathes Artemis and maybe other stuff happens. o: ]]

[xiaojusaur]

Confession

Drabble game! I had this laying around waiting for me to realease it. I got too inspired! I hope you like it even though I got kinda fluffy at the start! @francais404francais

Remember you all can request anything, not necessarily from the Drabble list, you can just request anything you want! Thanks for all the notifications and for reading my stuff!

Jung Hoseok was your best friend from all your life and he was also your neighbor. You literally could open your windows and talk all night long through it since your houses were side by side.

You went to school together and now were even going to the same university. You were inseparable. His sister was your brother’s girlfriend and everyone in the family teased you that you would end up marrying Hoseok but you always took that as a joke, you didn’t think he was interested in you in those ways.

Tonight was your prom night and, of course, Hoseok was your prom date. He asked you in such a funny way. One day you were at the cafeteria eating lunch with your friends when suddenly he appeared with a boombox, blasted some music, got on the table, started dancing sexy for you and then his friends appeared holding a big poster that said “Can I have your prom dance?”. You couldn’t say no, besides he was your best friend after all.

There you were with your long pretty dress, your hairdo and perfect makeup waiting for him.

The doorbell rang and suddenly you felt butterflies in your stomach. You felt weird because it was only Hoseok but for some reason he was making you nervous.

Your mom opened the door to reveal a Hoseok in a tuxedo, looking more hansome than ever, holding your corsage. As soon as he saw you his jaw dropped dramatically. “Wow! Y/N you look gorgeous oh my god!”.

You blushed and smiled. “You look handsome yourself, Hoseok.”

“Shall we go? The limo is waiting for us,” he said while making you take his arm like the whole gentleman he was. Your parents were wild taking pictures and you both were as nervous and embarrassed. Finally you got into the limo and headed to the prom.

It was a wild night, full of drinking, dancing and laughter. You never left Hoseoks side and apparently he was happy about it.

As the prom ended you headed to a beach that was near, your heals in your hands while you were barefoot from the pain you had from so much dancing. Hoseok walked by your side, talking about nonsense. You sat on the sand with your pretty dress, not caring about anything. Hoseok sat by your side and for a moment you were both silent.

“Y/N...” he broke the silence.

“Yeah?”

“I-I have something to tell you,” he said kinda nervous.

“What is it?”

“Promise me you won’t panic and that nothing will change after this.” He held out his pinky finger. You were scared of what he was going to say, usually your pinky promises were as valid as anything serious. You trusted Hoseok so you interlocked pinkies, “Promise.”

“Y/N... i like you.”

You thought he was joking and said “Aww Hoseok, I like you too!”

“No Y/N, you don’t understand. I really like you as in more than friends, as I want to date you.”

Silence grew between you two. You sat there looking at the waves, thinking in what to say.

Hoseok was an splendid man, he spoiled you, he was always there for you, he listened to you, he supported you and he knew you really well. Physically he was hot, his smile was the best.

Considering you got nervous before when he picked you up, did you liked Hoseok? You started thinking about him in those ways. Taking his delicate hands, kissing his heart shaped lips, being under his perfect body... you started blushing at the thought, you were thankful that you were just under the moonlight and he couldn’t see you well.

“Say something please,” he said almost as a whisper. You took his hand, lacing fingers, he looked at you shocked.

“Hoseok, I would be honored to date you.”

He smiled, “So is that a yes?”

“It is.”

“Thank God! I was so nervous.”

“Silly!” You pushed him and he pushed you back making you fall completely to the sand. He started to tickle you. Your laughs sounded through all the place “Hoseok stop!!! HAHAHAH!”

He got on top of you, his thighs on each side of you, his expression changing to a serious one. He started getting closer to your face. You pulled him by the tie “Just kiss me already,” you smiled and he also smiled.

His lips touched yours tenderly, they started moving in synchronization with yours, slowly, taking their time to know each other. He then pulled away, looking directly to your eyes, you passed your fingers through his hair.

“You know how much I dreamt about this? It feels surreal,” he said.

You caressed his face, “We should go to the hotel room, it’s getting kinda cold.”

“Sure, let’s go.”

You never planned this, you never thought it would be so fast, but here you were kissing wildly, under Hoseok.

“Let me peel off your dress huh?” he said while kissing your neck. “You look beautiful in it but it’s bothering us already, don’t you think?” You just nodded out of breath.

“Get up,” he commanded and you obeyed. He was sitting on the edge of the bed holding your hips. “Turn around please.” He spun you, his hands running up your back, looking for the zipper. When his fingers found it, he started unzipping it slowly, enjoying every inch of skin exposed to him. He then slid the sleeves off your shoulders, his hands caressing down your arms. Your dress fell graciously, pooling on your feet. He then spun you again so now you were facing him.

Looking at you dazzled, eyes shining he said “Wow, you’re a goddess.” His hands held you still, then he started kissing your belly, going up your torso and down again kissing your thighs. “You’re beautiful Y/N” he whispered on your skin making you smile. “Come,” he invited you to the bed again.

He was kissing you again, his tongue reaching yours. Your hands started to unbutton his shirt and when his abs were finally exposed your hands were touching him everywhere. He was nervous, you could tell by the way his hands trembled. He was trying to unclasp your bra but his trembling hands didn’t help much. He finally did, his hands taking your bra and throwing it to the floor. He stopped everything to just look at you which made you a little uncomfortable.

“Relax, you’re beautiful. It’s just I still can’t believe it.”

You just smiled at him but then asked “Can you take off your pants? I feel like you’re still dressed while I’m here almost naked.”

“Sure, anything’s to make you comfortable.” He then unbuttoned his pants. He was struggling to take them off which made you laugh. “They don’t want to leave apparently,” he said being funny.

He started kissing you again, his mouth running from your mouth, to your neck to then reach your breasts. He looked at you directly into your eyes while taking a nipple inside his mouth, his tongue swirling around it and then he sucked it. You moaned from how sexy he looked “Ah~ Hoseok.” He winked at you and then moved to give attention to your other nipple. His hand moved down your torso, reaching between your legs, his fingers trying to get into your panties. They were spreading your folds to find your bundle of nerves and when they did he started drawing circles on it. A gasp escaped from your lips from the sudden shot of pleasure you were feeling. “Wow, you’re so wet.” He continued with this for a while until he knew you were ready to take his fingers.

A finger slipped into you making you hiss. He then started pumping it inside you, making you go crazy.

“You’re so tight Jagiya, are you a virgin?”.

“Hoseok, please don’t stop, your fingers feel so good,” you begged suddenly feeling surprised by your own words.

“I need to know baby, I need to prepare you well.”

“Yes, I am.” Feeling a little embarrassed of your confession.

“It’s okay, nothing to be ashamed of. Im happy I get to be your first,” he said proudly.

He then kneeled on the bed to take off your underwear. He grabbed it and then pull it down your legs, making you raise a little to finally take it off. You closed your legs feeling a little conscious. He started kissing your legs, down from your foot up to your knee then to your thigh. “Open them babygirl, it’s okay,” he whispered sweetly, caressing your thighs. You complied giving him access to your core.

He started running his nose, leaving butterfly kisses up you thighs until his mouth reached to your center. His hands still trembled while holding your legs apart. “Are you nervous Hoseok?” You asked him.

“I am. Having a goddess with you on bed is not easy.” You smiled at his response, he could always make you smile even in situations like these.

His finger started going up your slit, exploring you, his mouth dangerously close to your core. His fingers spread you and then his tongue started licking you. A sudden moan grew out of your throat. His tongue lapping on your clit furiously. Your breathing started to grow uneven and then you gasped when he suddenly sucked on you. “Oh Fuck!”

He was licking you faster, sometimes sucking, sometimes nibbling, making you a moan mess, his hands were pressing your thighs down to avoid them to close. “Ah! Hoseok it feels too good!” He grunted “Fuck, you’re really wet. You’re so ready.”

He stopped making you grunt of frustration. He laughed at your reaction “Patience Jagi, Im going to make you feel good with other things.”

“I want to suck you,” you said surprising him. He smirked and laid back on the bed. “Come, It’s waiting for you.” His voice sounded so sexy it made you shiver.

Taking the elastic of his boxers in your hands, you slid them down his legs, his erection springing free. You couldn’t avoid blushing a little when you saw his dick, it was perfect. “Like what you see?” He said laughing a little. “I love what I see,” you replied taking him by the base, his eyes very attentive on every move you made. You gave him a lick from the base to the tip, his mouth forming an o. Your tongue started swirling around his tip, he looked at you amazed, his hand taking your hair out of your face. You then took him into your mouth, going as down as you could his breathing stopped for a moment and when you went back up, sucking him, he let out a shaky moan “Ah~ yes!”

You started bobbing on him, he was biting his lower lip. He arched a little, his back going back “Shit! Jagi stop! You’re gonna make me cum. You’re so good!” You let go of him with a pop, leaving his gasping. “Wow! You’re really good, but now I’m going to take you all. Come, lie down.”

Suddenly you got nervous, he saw it in your eyes “Relax, you’re going to be okay. Unless you don’t want this, I can always wait until you’re ready.” He was so sweet, what did you do to deserve him?

“Im okay don’t worry. I’m just a little nervous.” He smiled and kissed you, “I’ll be back in a second.”

He got off the bed and went to look for something in his wallet. He climbed back into the bed with the tinfoil package, knowing what it was made you more nervous. He opened it and rolled it down his length.

“You’re ready?” You nodded out of words.

“Spread your legs for me baby.” His words were making you go insane, you sighed. “It’s going to be okay, Im going slowly okay?” He caressed your cheek.

He placed himself between your legs, you were watching every move he made. He started to rub his tip on your core, looking for your entrance, you let out a heavy sigh. “Relax, trust me.”

He then eased into you slowly. You flinched a little at the pain from the stretch. “Shit! Hoseok! It hurts!” You whimpered.

“Ah~Jagi, relax, you’re clenching me,” he whimpered too. You started taking deep breaths to ease the pain. When it stopped you nodded, he felt you relax and continued to go into you. “You’re okay?” he whispered. “Mjm,” you managed to say.

He started moving in and out slowly. It was starting to feel good. “You’re so tight, wow.”

“Mmmff! It feels so good,” you moaned.

He took that as a hint to go a little faster. His hips moved sinfully. This new feeling was something you wanted to repeat over and over again.

“You look amazing my love,” he said pounding into you. You both were a sinful melody, combining moans, sighs grunts and whimpers. His moans were driving you insane. “Shit Hoseok, you’re driving me insane! Please don’t stop!”

He shifted his position to one where he could reach deeper into you, putting one of your legs on his shoulder. He was reaching your sweet spot, that spot you didn’t know it was reachable. “Fuck! Hoseok! Right there!” you screamed.

“You like it there? Yeah?” he said in a breathy moan.

“Uuuu! Harder please!”

Hoseok was now hitting you harder, the hotel bed moving with you. Your hands were scratching his back, your nails digging deep leaving marks and he moaned because of it “Fuck! Y/N!”

You then felt a knot in your stomach, trying to be freed. Hoseok noticed you were clenching “Are you gonna cum babygirl?” He started going faster, trying to make you reach your high. “Oh fuck! Hoseok!”

Your legs started trembling, you were on the edge of exploding. “Cum baby, let go,” he whispered in your ear. Yo felt your eyes roll, your body stiffened and a scream left your lips. A shiver ran through all of your body and then a feeling of relaxation took over your body.

Hoseok’s cursings brought you back to reality “Fuuuuck! Im gonna cum baby.” You couldn’t talk, you were too fucked up at the moment. He crashed on you, the sexiest moan sprouting from his lips, you felt him pulsing into you. He started kissing your cheeks, your neck, wherever his lips reached. He pulled out off you, taking off the condom, making a knot and throwing it into a trashcan.

He came back to the bed to cuddle you.

“How do you feel?” he asked while caressing your hair.

“I feel amazing, though Im a little tired.”

“Let’s sleep it off, yeah?”

“We should.”

He closed his eyes, you were studying him, how perfect he looked so close and so innocent. “Hoseok?”

“Yeah Jagiya?”

“Do you still like me?”

He opened one eye to look at you, “I like you even more now.” He then rolled over, pecked your lips and you both went to sleep.

[bffhreprise]

Entry 235

 James sat with me, never taking his hand from my shoulder.  My tears continued, running… drip, drip, drip.  Water running nearby as if my tears already made a puddle.  I could feel James’ touch.  There was carefree skipping in the distant, otherwise empty park.  I was never carefree even as a child.  James was with me.  I fought back the darkness when he mentioned getting shot so casually, but the tears continued.  James stayed with me.  I knew what I was avoiding.  There were thoughts too tender to touch.  What would become of me now?  The tears continued, bad thoughts avoided.  James was still with me.

 I could hear the flap of wings similar to a hummingbird.  The sound soon hovered nearby, so I glanced up to see what was there.  “James!  There's a… a fairy!  A real-life fairy!”

 “Is there?” he asked.

 For a moment, I wondered if I somehow became even more crazy, but the smile he fought to control told me otherwise.  He could see it.  As I considered possibilities, I slowly reached toward the fairy.

 Thoughts of the fairy cowering, flying away in fear, entered my head as I considered what would happen if she saw my other form.  I smothered the darkness as it tried to burn out from its hole.  Unlike me, this fairy was innocent.  I mustn't let her see.  Mustn't let James see.

 “Looks like she wants to play with you.” commented James as his smile grew.

 “What?  How can you tell?” I dubiously questioned.  “Dubious” was a fun word.  I liked dubious.  I didn't like being teased.  Was James picking on me?

 “Didn't you see that image?” he asked.

 James saw his own darkness?  I couldn't really picture something dark within him.  I was probably confused.  I never quite got the hang of communicating with people.  They could forget stuff as they spoke.  I never forgot, but I often grew distracted.  With how slow people talk, my thoughts could drift to a thousand places before they finished their sentence.  I would collect and order my thoughts, respond, and wait again, fighting the fear that would always rise.  Oh, yes.  Image.

 “What image?” I asked.  The fairy hadn't said anything this whole time, watching us.

 She was unashamed in her nakedness.  Beautiful and confident.  Her wings were translucent while her body was radiant.  Her wild hair looked perfectly natural.  I wanted to hold her and talk with her.

 He had been talking.  He was saying something about the fairy.  I continued thinking about the fairy while he spoke.  Then I arranged the pieces.

 “Huh.  Perhaps you're unintentionally blocking her out as I had done, but the Fey communicate directly with your mind, placing images, feelings, scents, et cetera directly into your mind.” he had told me.

 “Wh-what?  But… I want to hear her…” I assured him, even as I doubted myself.  I watched the fairy flutter.  “Flutter” was another good word.

 “I did too, but I… well, I suffered from too much attention when I was young and grew accustomed to ignoring a great many things.  Now I fight the urge to bottle myself up every hour of every day, because my little friend here grows quite annoyed with me when we can't communicate.” he explained.  “You have to open yourself to her, really want her inside your head.”

 Before he was finished speaking, I was cringing.  The idea of this innocent creature exposed to my mind was terrifying.  She would be terrified if she found the darkness, if she knew what I was.  Even fairies couldn't be friends with monsters.

 “I… I can't.” I admitted, certain James would think even less of me.  Maybe he wouldn't even turn me away nicely now.

 He reached out, placing his hand back on my shoulder.  When had it left?  Oh.  Back when the fairy arrived.  I felt his gentle touch, enjoying it and knowing I shouldn't.  If I transformed, his hand would be shredded by my fur.

 “Raine, don't run.  You still have an interview, and I have a feeling you'll fit in nicely here. There are other fey you'll be able to meet if you work for me.”

 Fact or fiction?  Fact: He had said those words.  Fiction: Their validity.  Monsters can't belong.  He didn't realize what I was.  I considered fleeing some more.  Fact: I needed time for those thoughts lurking in my mind.  Fiction: I could be happy here for a time.  I wanted that fiction.

 “Other f-fey?  More fairies?” I questioned.

 Smiling again, he said, “No, the others don't appear as fairies.  They come in all shapes and sizes with an equally great range of abilities.”

 I had my fingers along the grass, surprisingly lush despite the heavy snow.  Wait.  Why wasn't I touching snow?  I had sat in snow.  Things were warmer than they should be.  I saw a circle of grass where we sat, surrounded by snow beyond the circle.  Thinking back, I heard it when I was crying.  I had stopped crying!   Why was the snow melted!?

 “The snow melted!” I exclaimed as I stood, wanting James to take notice as well.

 He shrugged and said, “Oh.  Sorry.  I was worried about you catching a cold, so I heated the area around us and got the water out of our clothes.”

 Huh.  I remembered seeing the lights move faster than normal but was distracted, fighting the darkness.  I didn't consider there was a meaning this time.  I remembered wishing each pinprick of light was a fairy looking over the world when I was young.  I had underestimated the beauty of fairies.  She was wonderful in her tininess.  My thoughts continued to wander till I realized I was far afield from where I started.  Oh!

 “Y-You… you can use magic?  You're so…” I started wondering how to describe him in terms of speed as I thought about how he sounded when he ran toward me while I worked up to hitting the doorbell.  Pitter patter.  Pitter patter   People don't move that fast.  “so fast too…”  Wait.  James wasn't a person!?  I thought for a time.  No, he was a wonderful person.  He just wasn't human.  “Wh-What are you?”  I felt rude.  I asked him what he was without letting him know he stood before monster.  Monsters were allowed to be rude.

 “Human, surprisingly.”

 Anime style eye-bulging was how I imagined myself.  His pacing hadn't been human.  I checked and rechecked, imagining myself with a ruler as I measured his stride before returning to the door.

 “Apparently, one of us pops up with gifts here and there.” he insisted with such confidence that doubt would be an affront to the statement.

 Monsters were supposed the be confrontational, so I almost forgave myself for dubiousness.  I believed James, despite knowing humans weren't like him.  The dilation of his eyes hadn't changed.  His heartbeat was slow and steady.  He didn't sweat.  He didn't smell of fear.  He was certain, but he was probably certain the girl he faced was just a kitty, not a monster.

 “Most of the others living here are not human, so you really don't have to worry about species.” he insisted, obviously unaware of what stood before him.

 Other than Alma and those twins, I could probably name every species who had been in that house for the past several months by smell alone, though I knew something else now too.  Fey.  There was a similar smell to the fairy on the redhead.  Why wasn't he tiny and cute if he was related!?  Life wasn't fair.  He probably had impossible dreams of being a sixtieth his size and looking cute.

 “But…” I started, knowing I should tell James the truth.  “But…” I tried again, knowing you wouldn't want a monster in his precious home.  Something had changed.  The skipping child was much closer.  I caught her scent on the wind.  Her voice… Wide-eyed fangirling was to commence in three… I started to turn, savoring this moment.  Two… The excitement was building.  One… I could already see the skipping, singing form in my peripheral vision.  Zero… My heart beat like a war drum sounding off an engagement.  My mind raced through how I would build such a drum in Ancient Tribes of Earth.  The game's creator was skipping toward me.  I felt as if a goddess was descending despite seeing the carefree skipping over the snow.  Her socks didn't match.  The jacket contrasted terribly with her mismatched shoes.  Wild, blonde hair danced in the wind.  Her eyes sparkled with fun.

 “That's… th-that’s the princess!” I exclaimed, uncertain his “human” eyes could tell.  Could a magically imbued human still claim humanity?  She'd know!  The princess was famous for knowing.

 The fairy was fangirling even harder than I was, flying off to meet the princess before she reached us.  The temptation was real.  I could be to her before the fairy’s wings flapped again.  Would I even be able to talk?  I wasn't even worthy of talking with her.  I was a monster.  This was the princess!  Would she remember me?  James hadn't.  Well, he knew my name, but…  why did people think we had dated!?  Didn't matter.  Princess coming.  Must make words.

 “Can…” I started.  Good word.  More needed.  Must accomplish mission.  No… quest!  So many thoughts.  Words needed.  Communicate.  James was nice.  He'd help.  “Can I…”  Step closer to victory.  I can do this.  I already imagined how her hand might move, stroking a page with a pen.  Page!?  My game.  I needed her to sign my game.  Could I pay for more autographs!?  One first.  Must make with the words.  “I mean…”  So nervous.  “Please, will you…”

 James’ heart rate had risen and his scent changed.  He was nervous too.  Even James couldn't grow accustomed to being near the princess.  Nerves were fine.  Goal in sight.  I could do this.  No!  Question left unfinished!  Needed more words.

 “Autograph, please.” I finished, forcing myself to speak as clearly as possible.  Would he understand!?  The wait seemed too long.  Mission failure!?  No!  Wait.  Time was a slow thing.  Waiting required.  Waiting.  Waiting.  Waiting.

 “You want her autograph?” inquired James.

 Success!  Quest stage complete.  Onto next stage!  Multi-tiered quests could be tricky, but the princess was close in… I could do this!  Oh.  More words needed.  He had asked a question.  Confirmation required.  Must click quest box to approve stage clearance.

 Nodding, I said, “I… I'm… I'm in your g-guild.”

 Clarity: poor.  Mrs. Darfunkle frowny face.  She was my favorite teacher in grade school.  Her frowny faces were heart wrenching.  I remembered them all.  I always knew I goofed when there was frowny face.  Monsters get worse, so I survived with just frowny faces.  She never learned about the monster in her class.

 “I really doubt she'll mind.  Aaliyah acts as the secretary here, although I'm certain she's underpaid.” replied James.

 A tower of powerful i-beams fell apart in my head.  Well, steel was fragile, so I overvalued their strength.  I worked through what caused the mess.  There was something distinctly out of place here.  Words needed again.  Princess questions important.

 “But… I thought… You don't… d-don't work for her?” I questioned, reconsidering if adequate words were there.  Scenarios of James working for the princess were hovering around a trash bin.

 “I do at times.”

 Scenarios placed back on shelves and petted gently for good behavior.

 “Well, generally I'm technically working for her father, but that might as well be working for Aaliyah too.  You'll see.  She's quite the brilliant little girl.” explained James, adding to my questions.

 How incredible was Aaliyah's father?  What did they do for fun?  Did he play Ancient Tribes of Earth?  If he did, was he in our guild?  Are there actually people who don't know the princess is brilliant!?  The questions continued whirling along as James talked more.

 “Oh!  If you play Ancient Tribes of Earth, you'll love the setup we have here.  With the fastest computers I've seen.”

 His voice sounded slightly pained when he mentioned computers.  What tragedy had befallen a computer in his presence.  James deserved happiness.  He wasn't a monster like me.  Could I really stay here without telling him the truth?  Maybe for a while?  The princess was coming.  No time for monstrous truths.

 “Can I… can I really w-work… for… for y-you?” I managed to ask.

 “Well, I'm technically supposed to be giving you an interview, but I'm leaning toward 'yes’, though we'll have to work on your shyness.  What brought you here today?”

 “Mom…” I started, fighting back those thoughts I didn't have time to consider.  “My mom…” I tried again, but the thoughts came.  I wasn't with her and didn't protect her this time.  As I fought the thoughts, I felt James hug my shoulders.  He had such a pleasant warmth.

 “Were-... werewolves…” I remembered her blood in the alley.  “They…” I had fought so hard not to follow them.  “they killed her.”  The darkness called.  I could find them… kill them… I'd be gone and back next time James blinks.  Tears were coming.  The monster needed chained.  I should just leave.  I could run far away or maybe just never stop.  Could I eventually wear out?  “I… I need…”  I needed to flee.  I needed to save James from myself.  I had so many thoughts on what I needed, but I said, “home.”

 I didn't want to leave now.  I didn't want to flee.  I had nowhere else to go.  Monsters didn't belong in this world.  The werewolves belonged more than I do, but I had to be somewhere.  I couldn't stop existing, despite my existence endangering others.  The darkness stayed contained as I focused more and more on James’ warmth.  He was so kind.

 “Boss-man, sir, I see your interviews are as intimate as ever.” stated Aaliyah as she reached us with the fairy still fluttering around her.

 “This being my first one, I can hardly say that's the case.” he replied.

 “Boss-man, sir!  Don't you remember interviewing me!?” she questioned, sounding hurt.

 Smiling, he said, “Perhaps my memory’s fuzzy, but I recall you more or less giving me an ultimatum.”

 “Boss-man, sir!  That's not nice.  I'm telling your mommy on you.” she warned as she placed her tiny hands on her hips and glared adorably.

 “I'd worry, but you know I was only teasing.  Did you know Raine here as in our guild?”

 “Well, duh, boss-man, sir.  She plays Nekopawpaw, the catgirl crafter.  Everyone knows her.”

 I was surprised by the casualness with which they bantered.  These two were even closer than I had surmised when I first met them.  Even more surprising, the princess knew me.  She recognized me in real life and as my character.  I considered hugging her, kneeling before her, prostrating myself and telling her how unworthy I am.

 “Oh!” exclaimed James.  “You're that crafter!?  Wow.  I'm glad you didn't end up leaving.  Are things going well under Emma’s command?”

 I was befuddled.  Some errant dream had replaced reality.  The greatest guild leader in all of Ancient Tribes of Earth couldn't remember my name.  This life was a lie.  Good things we're rare and precious, not a treasure trove pouring out without end.  I already had seen James again, received numerous hugs, met a fairy, and even saw the princess again.  Was I dreaming in some alleyway!?  We're dreams this good!?  I tried to break back into reality.  Nothing happened.  I would try words.  Quest accepted.

 “You…” I started, not wanting to be confusing yet trying a hundred other words in my mind.  I'd stick with that one.  “You… you… noticed me?”  Clear.  Concise even?  Mission cleared?

 “Of course” he replied, sounding dream warning bells in my head.  “I couldn't have one of our best crafters leave the guild.  I'm surprised that you don't do more fighting.  You have to have great reflexes.”

 Fighting… fighting bad.  Not safe for me to fight.  I shook my head.  I wasn't a fighter.  I was a monster.  People die when monsters fight.

 “Well, we're glad to have you.  What do you think, Aaliyah?  Will Raine here be a fine best friend for hire?”

 Aaliyah grinned widely as she said, “You totally should hire her, boss-man, sir!  I came over to help you find the paperwork, since Mila’s… still dead.  How's your back?  I heard you were shot.”

 I moved slightly.  “Shot!?” I asked, remembering that was mentioned earlier.  Not a joke then.  “Who… why… James!?”  I couldn't imagine why someone would want to shoot James.  Why did people kill?

 “Stung a bit, but it's really not a big deal.  I'm fine.” he insisted.

 “Can I see the holes!?” asked the princess excitedly.

 James sighed and turned around after letting go my shoulder.  He didn't even stand.  I stared with wide eyes at the holes through his jacket and shirt.  His skin looked pristine, yet he still called himself human.

 “You… you're… fine?” I questioned, verifying that I was somehow trapped in a dream.

 “He's not the average human.” stated Aaliyah with a wink.  Then she turned to James and inquired “Did you ask if she eats people yet?  Marco will want to know who to cook for her if she does.”

 Bubble pop.  The princess knows everything.  True story.  Wait.  She knows.  James doesn't.  “I'd…”  Need more firmness.  Not a dream.  I'd never have dreamed about the princess asking such a thing.  Dreams aren't mostly pleasant.  “NO!” I asserted.  Too forceful?  The princess seemed amused.  What was happening?  I couldn't find a rational scenario.

 “Sorry, Raine.  I haven't honestly had much luck with the therianthropes I've met.  We had to know.” explained James, acting perfectly certain in his belief of my words.

 I nodded, still confused.

 Standing and reaching toward me, he said, “Welcome to Best Friend For Hire.  Sorry about the contract.  Aaliyah gets carried away writing them.”