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#and now I’ve gone on a whole rant in the tags
callooopie · 3 months
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Modern!Davos Blackwood headcannons (pt. 1?)
— SFW —
I’ll hit it from the back, just so you don’t get attached — i like the way you kiss me // artemas
I can definitely see myself making more of these. Adding to the modern! Davos lore. Not proofread. LMK if y’all have other ideas or headcannons too!
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Benjicot Davos Blackwood. People call him Davos. Only close friends call him Ben. Only you can call him Benji. Although, he goes by his middle name usually. Now, bloody Ben? That’s a story to be told later on how he got... (There is no story. It’s just people saying “Shit.. there’s bloody Ben..” or something like that. There’s no violence to the name, only pure exasperation when people see him)
This is the boy you need to hide away in your closet or under your bed when your parents come checking in on you randomly. You could’ve been working on homework, or just hanging around. And somehow this “annoying” guy appeared outside your bedroom window—and you just had to let him in. “C’mooon, let me in sweetheart.. you think I can’t climb up there? Stand back, I’ll show you.”
He is the type of person to rant about how the education system is rigged, set up to fail students, or rant about it in general and as a whole. Anyway he’s got a 4.0, and makes it onto the dean’s list every semester in college. However he is always late to class—complete with either a Monster or Red Bull drink in tow.
He invites you over to his place like a gentleman. Ignore his “annoying fuckass” roommate.. (it’s Aeron.) He does the whole (“it’s a little messy :3”) as he leads you down the hall of their apartment. “Hello MTV, welcome to my crib.”
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He cooks at that desk, game-wise. Faceit level is between 5-6. CSGO rank is Master Guardian II (He does tell you he once hit Global Elite. But he stopped the grind to focus on school, not because he’s washed or anything—maybe you could be his Valorant duo? Or be his support in League; he’ll have you know he makes a mean ADC.. do you do overnight discord calls?—)
If you play more casual games (Minecraft, stardew, etc) he will play with you, HOWEVER, he will either ruin the aesthetic of the minecraft world via automated farms OR speedrun the mines in stardew (he passes out so much it starts to affect the money you’re trying to save for farm upgrades). Every time he goes fishing in either game he puts on a country accent and makes “gone fishing, getting away from my bitch wife” jokes. “I’ve uh- carved out an area for the iron farm. Nothin’ too big—just something to get started.” (Shows you an utterly decimated and leveled biome)
Davos Blackwood fun fact no. 43; he does rallying (rally racing). He went to a rally school for fun over the summer. Ignore the price tag; yes he saved up for that! no it’s not dangerous! Regular driving wise he does donuts in empty parking lots, and takes corners way too fast. He is the type to street race a random ass pickup truck or some other car that pulls up beside him. It is thrilling, and he knows you enjoy it too despite your protests and how you grip the handle above the seat. “No it’s fine.. pfft—don’t worry don’t— I’ll smoke him. Just watch.”
Speaking of cars. Do not complain about his car. This is his baby. His one and only. It’s an old car; it’s so old it’s bordering not being considered street safe anymore. Ignore the anime girl stickers with their tits and ass out, that was there already he didn’t do that. “It’s safe don’t worry—I’m getting the bumper and everything fixed like Monday I swear.. no I did not hit anything why would you say that-“
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He’s oddly in-tune with his emotions and emotions of others despite appearances. He’ll KNOW if something’s bothering you. Maybe you’re just a little too quiet, you laugh at a joke a little too late or even if it sounds unenthusiastic. Whatever it is, Davos is on the case. A hug, some pep talk, he’ll let you punch his palms to get any anger out. He’s your ride or die, of course he’d do anything for you. And maybe if it’s a person who upset you he might pay them a visit.. “Who was it this time? Oh—that bitch? Ugh. I’m sorry about that… I have a gun just saying—“
Needs your hand in his. Or some part of you touching him. Whatever works. If he does not get a modicum of affection in 5 minute intervals he shrivels up like a plant—no he’s not being dramatic. Is the type to whine loudly about it regardless of where you’re at. On occasion he lets out bloodcurdling screams as a joke, lamenting about being denied tender love from you. You think it’s funny in private, you do not think it’s funny in public. Which is why he always does it in public. “Gimme your hand. Wha? What do you mean ‘it’s too hot out’? I wanna.. I wanna hold your hand… I don’t care if you’re sweaty—LET ME HOLD YOUR HAND”
I do believe his brain would be.. a little rotted. He sends you tiktoks, niche memes, shitposts. He will watch twitch streams or league/csgo content creators on YouTube. His vocab is normal, but does consist of slang from the gaming community. This can be good and funny, or sometimes bad if he uses it during serious moments. However he’s at least a normal human being and knows when to talk ‘normally’. He says joever unironically
Shadow boxes you. No matter what’s happening or where. You could be looking at something in a store and you just see slow, dramatic punches going toward you. He makes the whooshing sound too. This is how you know he’s bored. He’s also the type to tackle you to the bed. Not in a sensual or cutesy way but in like a WWE way that initiates a caged fighting match between you two.
Regardless of your mastery level of skateboarding he will hold your hands and pull you around on his board. Late at night when the parks or lots are empty, you both will be there. And he’ll be a smiling goof as he gently steers you around on the board. He usually says fuck helmets (his one big flaw), but carries one around just for you. His safety be damned. Yours? No question about it, you’re wearing all the gear required.
Smoker. Red flag. Marlboros, sometimes he uses zyns. It’s bad. Yes he knows he’s going to get lung cancer and succumb to nicotine. But he just can’t help it—it helps him relax. It’s why there’s a plethora of gum and also a cologne bottle in his car. Does it help? That’s to be determined. Does not smoke near you however if you don’t like that, he’s not that bad of an asshole.
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twost3ps · 4 months
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This boy has been in the drafts for like a month
I'm feeling like I want an Adam sandwich with two slices of Morningstar brothers so you guys are going to hear me out on my LucifurxAdamxMicheal au (and I mean it in a they both share Adam in the end :3 ) In general I'm calling the ship ✨️GuitarStars✨️ boooyaaa I feel like there might be a better name for it but idk
(Also I’ve noticed there is complaint for guitarhero in the adamsapple tag. I'm tagging this post as adamsapple this once of it but post related to this with both brothers will be counted as #guitarstars.
I also completely agree with the complaints. There is a problem with the tagging so this is a very quick reminder to please tag properly!!! Ik it's not meant to be harmful bcz most guitarhero shippers are also adamsapple as well. But i will admit there has been a lot of unecessary tagging (i am guilty of this im so sorry qwq) so please be mindful!!!! Ik this post might go agaisnt that but its just this post i swear sorrryyyy)
ANYWAYS The actual au:
For now I'm calling the au- Angels on My Shoulder (I can't think of a good title rn grrr)
quick sketchs so you get the idea
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General prompt:
Adam respawns as a human with all his memories. He lives a normal happy life until he turns 21 when two angels (Micheal and Lucifer) appear on his shoulders with a mission: try convince him into making certain decisions so that he ensures a spot in heaven or hell.
That doesn’t work out very well because adam hates how theyre forcing their ideals onto him one way or another. He doesnt really want to think about heaven or hell anytime soon. Heaven or hell seems like complete torture to him. The fact that he didn't like either of them before he respawned doesn't help.
A revelation happens and both brothers realize it's not gonna work on their terms so they're gonna have to earn his favor first before trying anything. One of the ways is talking it out beacuse adam had expressed several times over that, while at first it was funny, their bickering needs to die because it's getting annoying.
They talk it out. They make up. It takes a whole but they become close again. They try to earn adams favor in the meantime and between time. Everything is at peace. As time goes on though, the wooing is no longer for just adams favor, its now romantic. Both develop feelings for Adam. And since now they made up both made up they are very willing to share him.
The og goal is completely lost. Gone with the dirt and dust. And now what was once a competition to get Adam into heaven or hell has spiraled into heaven and hell trying to get into Adam. If you catch my drift.
Do they get in there?
God bless they do
(Ps they start off as small little mascots but then later grow into their normal form and an added human form. Adam Prefers the small mascots though)
My in-depth of the au that is very subject to change I just wanted to rant is under the cut o3o
So when Adam had died, he respawned onto earth. Born into a normal family and all that jazz. He lives life as normal and has comes to terms with it. He actually loves his life. He doesn’t have to walk on eggshells anymore and lives as normal. He’s not insanely good or insanely bad, he’s just a guy.
A guy who is very happy with himself. After graduating he becomes a national park ranger.
Heaven and hell both know of adams soul, but contant cant be initiated till he turns 21 (It was recognized because I wanna say 21 would be the age Adam technically was in his creation during Eden, and thats when he can process divinity without his body tweaking as if he were any other mortal. Souls grow along with age and all that drama, adams soul in eden was strong enough to stand the sheer power of a seraphims presence) both sides made it their immediate duty to guide him to their path.
Sera wanted Adam in heaven to clear her mind- to have heaven back to perfection with the original perfection creation (also to have her son back, but she's not ready to unpack that for herself.)
Lucifur wanted adam as he could punish him directly for hurting Charlie and her friends. A little tiny part of him also really wants Adam all for himself grrryrvgrvsgrs
So both heaven and hell spawn a representative guide for Adam to follow once his soul is ready to guide. Lucifur nominated himself and Sera nominated Micheal who agreed.
For some reason (probably amix of earth and god or sumn), Adam's presence nulls the powers of both angels and devils. So the first time they appear, Micheal and lucifur appear as small tiny mascots on Adam’s shoulder.
(Adam has flicked both of them away several times and they can't really do anything about it other than fly back and try again)
Both sides had the same idea and Adam connects the dots very fast on why they are here without them telling him. And he's pissed.
His normal life is now ruined.
Adam actually really hates both Lucifur and Micheal. Lucifur for obvious reasons and Micheal because he's just so nitpickey. Micheal had trained Adam in the past and that guy was brutal. Adam understood part of it was with Lucifurs falling and their brother thing and whatever but god daymn bro needed to chill. If Sera was on him like a hawk Micheal had been on him like a spy camera from space monitored by the secret service. In a way, both devalued adams emotions to some capacity so Adam hated both of them equally. Nothing Adam could do about it though because he was human.
In the beginning, both micheal and lucifur kept it really formal between them. Its strained but neither brother imposes on what the other one advises. That doesn’t stay for too long. The formalities between Lucifur and Micheal die pretty quickly. Under 2 months tops. While both are very old and very much adults, they are, first and foremost, SIBLINGS.
Both begin talking over eachother, butting in, shoving eachother. It's like pre eden all over again between the two on who is better. Most of the time they argue about the most random topics forgetting their og purpose.
After one year of enduring both of their bs, Adam feels like he has a dog and a cat rather than two otherworldly gaurdians monitoring his every move.
He doesn't complain though. After a while he's learned to tune them out. He also finds it incredibly entertaining watching the literal devil fight with the a high angel while being incredibly small. And with no powers it resorts to petty slapping. He's gotten pretty used to it....
Except when it comes to them making him choose what actions he takes.
They're always on him about everything. It sucks so much ass. Everything Adam tries to do something good, Lucifur tells him that it's stupid, that he should be more selfish and blocks Adam. He keeps on telling him that deep down adam really isnt all that, and why should he try and do good when everyone knows that hes not really that. Micheal does the same thing in reverse. When Adam does something considered bad, Micheal raves on how he'll go to hell. That Adam was made in perfection and must reach that perfection. That heaven is waiting for him and is available only if he keeps on doing good.
It makes Adam so mad when they remember what they're trying to do.
Adam doesn’t listen to either angel because after living part of his life as just a normal person, he’s come to realize he doesn’t want to think about living life wondering if he’s going to heaven or hell. Adam does not want to face eternal punishment or be in hell. He still really hates sinners, and while the blood hungry killer part of him died with his second life, he still thinks that the majority of those sinners are disgusting to say the least. But he doesn’t want to walk eggshells to be virtuous enough to enter heaven. Heaven, for all its greatness got tiring after 1000s of years. He's grown tired- already hated hell and grew to hate heaven. He doesn’t want to think about either, he doesn’t want those ideas to deter him from choosing what he wants to do. He wants to make both good and bad decisions without an angel watching over him. He wants to be able to make both good and bad decisions. He makes this very clear after a breakdown.
It becomes less of a competition over making Adam choose and more of getting into Adam’s favor after that because their first tactic is clearly not working.
So both agree that they will have to earn adams favor before making him do anything.
But in order to get adams favor both have to learn to get along because it had become one of Adam's biggest gripes. Funny at first, but the bickering and arguments got tiring after the course of a few years.
So they do attempt to make up. Genuinely. It's hard and its tough. Theres a lot there to unpack. But both jnkw that if they don't do this Adam is not going to listen to either of them because getting along has go go both ways.
And they do make up.
By the time Adam is in his early 30s, the close proximity and a lot of Adam yelling to sort it out, allowed for some slow but needed time to talk it out. They would do it infront of Adam who was the mediator, but they mostly would talk when Adam falls asleep as both watch over his dreams (creepos imo). They begin talking about their decision and their lives. Both brothers do acknowledge that they miss each other and that they have committed several wrongs with each other. And soon the fighting turns to light banter and life is good. They still try to earn adams favor but it's a lot more calmer. Everything's more calm.
Atleast that's what adam thought at first.
While bonding and stuff, they both come to the mutual agreement that they could share Adam. So they both freak it and try to woo Adam together.
And then now it's a matter of Adam freaking out because while before, both his little shoulder angels used to argue, they their bickering distracted them enough that Adam could chill and leave.
Now they're both bothering him and helping eachother try to get in adams pants. They're tag teaming him now.
It doesn't take long for their combined forces to make Adam cave.
The og goal is kinda gone. They still put their input but adams become more open it because they're less demanding and he feels like their goals are more aligned to his wants than theirs. Lucifur and Micheal also come to kinda realize that where Adam ends is where Adam ends. They're going to have to just suck it up when the time comes but they'll enjoy sharing while it lasts.
It gets pretty domestic and slice of life here. So the years following is a mix of sibling bonding and having ✨️the rizz✨️ on Adam.
Lucifur talks about hell and Charlie. Micheal talks about heaven and lucifur and his siblings. (Both Micheal and Lucifur arent permannt shoulder angels, they can actually pop away if they wanted to) Adam talks about his life and stuff.
When Adam eventually dies, his soul is neither here or there (because getting absolutely boned by twin morningstars does not make you virtuous or sinful it just makes you a bad bitch) his soul spawns in limbo. He’s deprived from salvation but doesn’t endure the horrors of hell. It’s basically a decent sided garden with a basic house in the middle where the garden ends is white space. On opposite ends of the garden are two doors, one goes to hell and the other to heaven. Turns out, the doors are connected to Micheal and Lucifer’s homes, but only appeared in them once Adam died. He’s allowed outside limbo into heaven or hell of his choosing for a limited amount of time and visites Micheal and Lucifer when he can. On the flip side Micheal and Lucifer can freely walk in and out of the place. I don’t want Adam to be lonely once he enters limbo so Cain and Abel are there because they died before heaven was ready and when he’ll just started.
So that’s pretty much it :3 kinda
incomplete but doesn't have everything I wanna say
Also
I will reiterate what I said at the beginning. I love you my guitarhero ppl but they are right in the tagging. It comes from a place of love so just be mindful!! Also, this is from me, sometimes the adamsapple vs guitarhero thing gets repetitive. It's a very common post ive seen. And I mean in general not just leaking into the adamsapple tag. That might just be me, but I do see it pretty often. Love it but that with the tagging does get a bit old. Really, the problem is a mix of incorrect tagging and the same trope. There's a lot more to the ship, especially with Micheal being free reign rn, so there is a lot of opportunity to show their relationship besides comparing it to Adamsapple.
I feel like somone who ships guitarhero also had to say something so yeyeye
Again, no offense to anyone guitarhero isbmy love but just please be mindful guys o3o
If you read all that thank you lol
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lynlee494 · 3 months
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Winterhawk Community Sourced Recommendations, A Master List
This post is a long time coming, but finally I’ve finished a master list from when this fandom really helped me out.
The original post is here:
^ Just in case I have forgotten or skipped over a recommendation, or if more are added in the comments since making this post.
My original plea for help was, for context on the type of recommendations you may find (though delightfully, there are others mixed in):
‘I'm looking for Winterhawk fic recommendations.
Ones where Clint finds/meets the WS (as either Hawkeye or an AU Clint, not picky)
Or ones where it is Winterhawk with a Hurt Bucky or Bucky in Distress kind of vibe.
AU or otherwise, even if it is a full on Clint/Bucky AU.’ I also had asked simply for favorite authors and favorite stories. The answers were plentiful and wide spreading, and I’m still making my through (I am a multishipper as long as one of ‘em is Bucky Barnes – welcome to my hyper fixation. So I jump around).
So, in thanks to so many who took time to dig for the recommendations, I wish to spread the love and make it easier to view what others took the time to dig up for me. It really did help. ❤️
I tried to make it easy and may have gone overboard, but hopefully ‘Ctrl-F’ or copy + pasting the text because I typed this out instead of using image snips (oh my gods the time this whole thing took) makes it easier to search tags.
Hopefully this helps others, and so now, organized for all our reading pleasure: A special thanks to sunny-rants for jumping in to give recommendations sooo fast!
*Please note: I have included tags, but not pairings, for times sake. All the stories are Winterhawk, and I believe there was a Clint/Bucky/Steve as well. *I also did not include archive warnings, etc. so please review the tags at your own risk.
*Also, cause I’m absolutely shameless, if you want to include anymore recs, that would be amazing… just putting that out there. Also, don't worry if you think it may be a repeat, I can always sort it out/organize later. (wink, wink: got any bottom Bucky, angst, long fics, AUs (current fav)? Clint taking care of Bucky etc.?)
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'Keep Reading' for the recommendations bestowed upon me in an hour of need, along with summary, tags, and wordcount
Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club by sara_holmes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/3889561/chapters/8697424
Summary:
Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club. (Invitation and pending mental health evaluation required.)
"When Steve brings Bucky back to the tower for the first time, Clint’s first thought is that Tony Stark’s pride and joy is quickly becoming a less of a very tall and expensive ‘fuck you’ in the faces of investors who don’t believe in self-sustaining energy, and more of a superhero rehabilitation center."
Tags: Discussion of Canon Child Abuse; Discussion of Canon Brainwashing; Seizures; Epilepsy; Fluff; SHIELD Agent Clint Barton; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Strike Team Delta (Marvel); Sharing a Bed; Sharing Body Heat; Stranded; Slow Burn Word count: 67k+
(rec by tumblr: @sunny-rants)
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Outnumbered by sara_holmes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/7954669
Summary:
Bucky Barnes returns to Brooklyn ready to get back into the world, make friends and sleep with Steve's super hot neighbor. The fact that the guy turns out to be a single dad to two-year-old triplets who spend most of their time causing mischief, trouble and mayhem doesn't deter Bucky at all. Steve would like it on record that he thinks Bucky is insane.
Tags: Kid Fic; Parent Clint Barton; Triplets; Post-Recovery Bucky Barnes; Steve Is a Good Bro; Bucky comes home to New York; Single Dad Clint Barton; Deaf Clint Barton; Bucky Barnes Feels; PTSD RECOVERY; Happy Bucky Barnes; Kids; Alternate Universe - No Powers; Clint Barton is terrible at relationships; Insecure Clint; Happy Ending
Word count: 18k+
(rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)
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Play It Again by sakkakitty
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15206579/chapters/35269208
Summary: After a mix-up in a Hydra base, Bucky Barnes finds himself transported to the 21st century.
Tags: Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant; Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant; Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant; WinterHawk Big Bang 2018; Time Travel; Pre-Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Deaf Clint Barton; Canon-Typical Violence; Background Stony – Freeform
Word count: 100k+
(rec by tumblr: @sunny-rants)
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Nobody Lost, Nobody Found by ClaraxBarton
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15634884/chapters/36306264
Summary:
"Look, dude, I get it. You’re fucked-up. HYDRA fucked you up. I’ve been there. But you’re my fucking Soul Mate!"
“I can kill you. I could kill you without even realizing what I was doing. I’m not fucked-up, I’m a monster. I’m a nightmare. You can’t be here. You can’t- All the people I’ve killed- I will not murder my Soul Mate too. Not after everything else I’ve-”
Clint worked his left hand between their bodies and managed to land a punch to the man’s right side, forcing him to shift his weight, and Clint brought his right hand down on the place where the man’s metal arm met his torso - hidden by the shirt he wore, but on full display in the video Clint had watched.
The man released Clint with a grunt of pain, and Clint pressed his advantage, landing another punch to his abdomen, backing him up against the opposite side of the RV and then pressing the kitchen knife he had pocketed while cleaning up earlier to the man’s throat.
“Like I said, I’m not a Boy Scout. I’m plenty dangerous myself. We clear on that?”
OR:
This looks bad, because it is.
OR:
How Clint Barton met his Soul Mate
Tags: Soulmates; Soul Bond; winterhawk – Freeform; Slow Burn; No I mean the slowest of burns; Canon-Typical Violence; canon divergent/canon meandering starting with Age of Ultron; Smut; eventually I swear; Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Angst; Feelings; Clint Barton Needs a Hug; Bucky Barnes Feels; Steve Rogers Needs a Hug; BAMF Clint Barton; BAMF Natasha Romanov; Oral Sex; Frottage
Word Count: 108k+
(rec by tumblr: @sunny-rants)
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Choose Every Single Day by Noxnthea
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28708083/chapters/70385346
Summary:
Clint has once again been wrangled into doing something because Natasha thinks it’ll be good for him; he’s not sure why she thinks she needs therapy too, but he knows better than to question her logic at this point.
Bucky’s doubtful that group therapy is going to do much for his crippling sense of self-loathing (and to be honest, he really doesn’t want the help), but Steve’s convinced it will be beneficial for both of them to learn to deal with the mistakes from their past.
None of them ever expected to have to deal with secret government organizations, eccentric billionaires, or unwanted super powers on top of their personal problems, but then, they are already paying Sam.
Tags: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting; TherapyCanon-Typical Violence; Clint Barton's low self-esteem; Sam Wilson is a Saint; Everyone Needs A Hug; Deaf Clint Barton; Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot; Group Therapy; Slow Burn; seriously the slowest this is a fic first and foremost about individual growth; Found Family; Misunderstandings; Getting Together; wanda maximoff is everyone's little sister
Word count: 103k+
(rec by tumblr: @sunny-rants)
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Gold On Your Fingertips by Kangofu_CB
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21434821/chapters/51074443
Summary:
“So,” he said, unwrapping the foil of the bar, “I’m Clint.”
The Soldier just blinked at him, caught somewhere between confused and surprised.
Which, fair, Clint got that a lot.
But he figured the Soldier hadn’t expected him to acquiesce so quickly, and Clint fully intended to capitalize on that, either in information or opportunity to escape or both.
He flashed a half-smile at the other man, one he’d flashed at a dozen other people in the last few years, one that got him a second look at least seventy percent of the time, and a quickie a fairly significant portion of that. He stretched his arms up over his head and cracked his spine, working the stiffness out of the shoulder that had, until ten seconds ago, been shackled to the furniture.
“This is the part where you tell me your name.” Clint said. “Or something to call you by,” he amended.
Or: Clint meets his soulmate.
Tags: Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Circus Performer Clint Barton; baby criminal clint barton; Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Not Captain America: The Winter Soldier Compliant; or anything after that either; Alternate Universe – Soulmates; Soulmates; Soulmate-Identifying Marks; Kidnapping; Deaf Clint Barton; Breaking and Entering; Voyeurism; Exhibitionism; Masturbation; wow that escalated quickly; Himbo Clint Barton; Diners; Bucky Barnes Recovering; Bucky Barnes Remembers; On the Run; Canon-Typical Violence; Shooting Guns; bad guys die etc etc; minor descriptions of wounds and wound care; barney barton sucks you can't change my mind; so does Trickshot; hydra also sucks; getting in a brawl with the Avengers was a bad idea; it's not Clint's fault; except for how it kind of is; Protective Clint Barton; Competent Clint Barton; Rutting; Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm; Disappointed Steve Rogers; but he gets over it; eventually; bad jokes and worse ideas; hey kids who wants to be an avenger?
Word count: 27k+
(rec by tumblr: @sunny-rants)
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Like Real People Do by Kangofu_CB
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15937667/chapters/37163564
Summary:
And now Steve had brought him home like a goddamn found puppy he wanted to keep.
“What the fuck, Rogers?” Clint asked, his hands itching for a bow, a gun, an anything, but not stupid enough to make any sudden moves. There was no way to casually reach for the pistol he’d tucked into the back of his jeans, not with Steve so close and the Winter Soldier so unkillable.
“He’s not the Winter Soldier,” Steve said in a rush of expelled air, reading the tension in Clint’s arms correctly. “He’s Bucky Barnes.”
Either there were two silver-armed motherfuckers running around - and Clint could believe anything at this point - or this situation was even more bizarre than he’d first thought. And he knew bizarre. He’d been part of a circus.
A love story involving Billboard's Top 100, chopping firewood, and not looking like incognito serial killers when out on the town.
Tags: Cabin Fic; Tropes; Slow Burn; or at least my version of it; learning to be people again; sniper assassin courtship rituals; sniper nerds; Things This Is Canon Compliant With: Nothing; actually not true; possibly canon compliant with Captain America: TFA and also Iron Man; but I'm not positive; Civil War Fix-It; I honestly just wanted to watch these two idiots fall in love in a secluded cabin ok; Canon-Typical Violence; Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; FlashbacksPost-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; Canon Disabled Character; Deaf Clint Barton; Texas Two Stepping is a thing; Sorry Not Sorry; tags updated to include country music; winterhawk – Freeform;magic woodland archer cabin; HYDRA supersoldiers; a small selection of violence; Canon-Typical Injuries; a tiny bit of angst; Happy Ending; found family trope abounds; Sex
Word count: 67k+
(rec by tumblr: @sishal01)
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Making Me A Habit by Kangofu_CB
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26706253
Summary:
Bucky is a disabled vet struggling with reintegrating into civilian life. He has a routine and a rhythm, and he doesn't like to let anything - big or small - disrupt it. That all changes the day Bucky finds himself inside CATastrophe, the local pet rescue, recovering from a panic attack in the back room of the shop. He’s used to walking by the place, not visiting, but the next thing Bucky knows, he’s hanging signs and being used as a climbing tree for a bunch of freshly-acquired kittens. And he just...keeps going back. First for the kittens, then for the disaster shop owner who rescues actual kittens from actual trees and teaches archery as a side-gig, and eventually because he’s hopelessly in love.
(Clint was in love before Bucky ever walked in the door.)
Tags: Modern Era; War Veteran Bucky Barnes; Amputee Bucky Barnes; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; Bucky Barnes Has PTSD; Civilian Clint Barton; Pet Adoption; Kittens; so many kittens; Archery Instructor Clint Barton; Alternate Universe - Pet Store; Slow Burn; Pining; Misunderstandings; WinterHawk Big Bang; Word count: 20k+
(rec by tumblr: @sishal01) (rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)
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Look What The Cat Dragged In by flawedamythyst
https://archiveofourown.org/works/27084847/chapters/66134170
Summary:
The Winter Soldier was looming over him, dressed in full combat gear and hung all about with weapons. Blood was seeping out of a wound on his arm and there was a smear of it down his cheek that was starting to flake off as it dried. He was staring at Clint with a jaw-clenchingly intense glare and Clint felt every cell in his body freeze up under his scrutiny, expecting pain of some kind.
Instead, the Winter Soldier held a fist out containing Clint’s hearing aids and then, once he’d tucked them in pretty much on autopilot, thrust a cat in Clint’s face and growled out, “Tell me about this kitten,” like he was demanding the passwords to a nuclear weapon.
Somehow Clint ends up co-owning a kitten with the Winter Soldier.
Tags: Bucky Barnes is a Cat Lover; Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug; Bucky Barnes has a sweet tooth; Alpine – Freeform; Clint Barton Is a Good Bro; Just Add Kittens; Bucky Barnes Recovering; Domestic Fluff
Word count: 22k
(rec by tumblr: @sishal01) (rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)
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Sing Me That Old Song Again by mariana_oconnor
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12976866
Summary:
After breaking free from Hydra's control, James Barnes is keeping his head down. Captain America and his team are miles away, and he's better off alone. He's not expecting to be found by an Avenger. An Avenger who proves hard to get rid of.
Somehow, in spite of himself, Hawkeye ends up growing on him, and he realises that maybe alone isn't the best way to be.
But as Bucky's working out his own past, Hawkeye's coming face to face with his. They never should have gone to Budapest.
Tags:
Alternate Universe – Canon; Bucky Barnes's Notebooks; Road Trips; Sort Of; Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant; Winterhawk Reverse Big Bang; Bucky Barnes's Plums; Deaf Clint Barton; Hurt Clint Barton; Bucky Barnes Recovering; Bucky Barnes Remembers; Bucky Barnes Needs a HugWhat Happened in Budapest
Word count: 27k+
(rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)
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Warming Up by pherryt
https://archiveofourown.org/works/19003336/chapters/45126904
Summary:
The last thing Clint expected when SHIELD went down and he had to make his way to his safehouse was to find the Winter Soldier already using it.
No, maybe the last thing he expected was for all his survival instincts to say screw it, and let him stay.
This couldn't possibly go wrong, could it?
Tags: Implied Tony/Steve – Freeform; Brainwashing; post winter soldier; deaf!cllnt; PTSD; Nightmares; hurt; comfort; bed sharing; tub sharing; Cuddle for Warmth; some violence but not too graphic; First Kiss; Low Self Esteem; Misunderstandings; hurt!Clint; First Aid; Running Away; Artist!Steve; mild to moderate hypothermia; Snowed In; cint's farm; PiningMutual Pining; Implied/Referenced Child Abuse; safehouse
Word count: 45k+
(rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)
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Sticks and Strings and Christmas Things by PhoukasPenmanship
https://archiveofourown.org/works/5433500
Summary:
12 connecting vignettes for the "12 Days of Winterhawk" prompt challenge.
Tags: 12 Days of Winterhawk; Christmas Fluff; Swearing; Slow Burn; A little angst; Family of Choice; deaf!Clint
Word count: 66k+
(rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)
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Nowhere You Can Be by jstabe https://archiveofourown.org/works/22012795
Summary:
Sometimes fate gets a little help from FedEx.
Tags: Bucky Barnes Recovering; Amputee Bucky Barnes; Deaf Clint Barton; Implied/Referenced Child Abuse; References to Depression; Happy Ending; Alternate Universe - No Powers
Word count: 26k+ (rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)
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Lucky in Love by dr_girlfriend
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17230013/chapters/40516820
Summary: Clint is only a couple of sips into his cardboard cup of coffee, his brain barely out of neutral, which is probably why it takes him so long to realize that some damn psycho is trying to kidnap his dog.
Excerpt:
“I’m not some charity case,” Bucky says pugnaciously.
“I didn’t think you were,” Clint answers back readily enough. “I mean, I can tell you’re fucked up for sure, but of the two of us, I’m probably the bigger disaster. My sleep schedule is shit, and I drink coffee straight from the pot. I sing in the shower even though I’m deaf as fuck. I have arrows everywhere because I’m an archer — did I tell you that? And I was raised in a literal circus, so I’m not exactly domestic. Let’s see, what else?” He squints down at the ground, rubbing the back of his neck. “Oh, yeah, I won the building in a poker game with the Russian mafia and every once in awhile they show up and try to take it back, but usually I handle it, no problem. Uh...”
Clint happens to looks up and Bucky’s eyes are wide, his mouth hanging open. Clint’s hand freezes where he’s rubbing the back of his neck, suddenly embarrassed. Yeah, when you put it all out there at once, it doesn’t sound so good.
Tags: Fluff; Romance; Slow Burn; Oh my god they were roommates!; Alternate Universe - No Powers; War Veteran Bucky Barnes; Deaf Clint Barton; Ableist Language; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; Mutual Pining; Hurt/Comfort; Touch-Starved; Friends to Lovers; Fraction/Aja Comic-based Clint Barton; Implied/Referenced Child Abuse; Ambiguous Cuddling; Touch Aversion; I Dunno Maybe a Little Praise Kink?; Circus Veteran! Clint Barton; SHIELD Veteran! Clint Barton; Slow Build; meet ugly; Idiots in Love; Tooth-Rotting Fluff; References to Depression; Not Gonna Tag Every Sex Act Just Trust Me There's Plenty; Body Worship; A Little Gentle Dominance Stuff Maybe?; Edging; Crying During Sex; What Can I Say the Winterhawk Crowd Are Dirty Enablers; #Make Clint Cry 2019; meet cute; Deaf Character Word count: 59k+ (rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)
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Battle Born by sian1359
https://archiveofourown.org/works/7960690
Summary:
Bucky Barnes decides he needs to come in from the cold soon after the events that happened in DC. He can't go to Steve or Natalia, as both would have expectations of a man he cannot ever be again. So he turns to someone who wouldn't have any expectations: Clint Barton.
Tags: Slice of Life; Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant; Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant; Angst with a Happy Ending; Relationship(s)Aftermath; Hydra (Marvel)Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence
Word count: 22k+
(rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)
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The Anthem of a Dead Man Walking by EVVS
https://archiveofourown.org/works/7962379
Summary:
“I’m Clint,” he says again, knowing that he’s going to have to force this if he’s not going to go insane in here. He lasted this long, but knowing that there’s someone else? Someone else who he could talk with? No, he needs that right now. So badly. Someone who isn’t Tasha coming in to update him on the real world. Someone else who’ll help him make fun of the guards and maybe who’ll harmonize with him to Bohemian Rhapsody. He’s not looking for a new best friend, just someone who’ll commiserate. “I’m gonna call you John.”
There’s some movement. Sounds like someone’s head bumping the wall. “Why John?”
“Since you aren’t giving me your name to work with, you’re a John Doe to me, right? So I’ll just… call you John.”
Tags: Prison; Suicide mention; alcohol mention; Courtroom Drama; Crayons are involved; Not Canon Compliant; Marvel Universe
Word count: 14k+ (rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)
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Outnumbered by sara-holmes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/7954669
Summary:
Bucky Barnes returns to Brooklyn ready to get back into the world, make friends and sleep with Steve's super hot neighbor. The fact that the guy turns out to be a single dad to two-year-old triplets who spend most of their time causing mischief, trouble and mayhem doesn't deter Bucky at all. Steve would like it on record that he thinks Bucky is insane.
Tags: Kid Fic; Parent Clint Barton; Triplets; Post-Recovery Bucky Barnes; Steve Is a Good Bro; Bucky comes home to New York; Single Dad Clint Barton; Deaf Clint Barton; Bucky Barnes Feels; PTSD RECOVERY; Happy Bucky Barnes; Kids; Alternate Universe - No Powers; Clint Barton is terrible at relationships; Insecure Clint; Happy Ending
Word count: 18k+ (rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)
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Falling Off the Face of the Earth by Teeelsie
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12951468
Summary:
Cap relaxes his hold, but he stays where he is, still looming over him. “Clint. The compound’s been breached,” Rogers whispers urgently, then finally sits back and lets go of him.
There’s another explosion, closer this time and throwing more light. He turns his head sharply and sees Bucky Barnes hovering near the door, looking… off. Clint pushes Rogers and he finally stands up so Clint can scramble out of the bed and grab some clothes. He’s wearing only boxers because it’s fucking hot in Wakanda, and he catches Barnes’ eyes flicking across his body.
Clint long ago stopped being bothered by people’s reactions to the many scars on his body – not that that many people actually see them - but that doesn’t mean he appreciates when they stare. “Like what you see?” he asks with a hard edge as he pulls on his shirt. Barnes turns his head, at least having the decency to look embarrassed for being caught staring.
Rogers looks at them both impatiently and quickly switches gears. “Clint, I need you to take Bucky. Get him out of Wakanda and somewhere safe.”
OR Bucky and Clint fall into each other. Bad shit happens. Then it all works out in the end.
Tags: Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie); On the Run; BAMF Clint Barton; BAMF Bucky Barnes; Developing Relationship; Slow Build; Brainwashing; Mind Control; Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; Clint!Whump; Hurt/Comfort; Emotional Hurt/Comfort; Angst; winterhawk – Freeform; Winterhawk Reverse Big Bang; WinterHawk Big Bang; Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant; Long Live Feedback Comment Project
(rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)
(author rec by tumblr: @jinxquickfoot)
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Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club by sara_holmes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/3889561Summary:
Clint Barton's Super Secret Snipers' Club. (Invitation and pending mental health evaluation required.)
"When Steve brings Bucky back to the tower for the first time, Clint’s first thought is that Tony Stark’s pride and joy is quickly becoming a less of a very tall and expensive ‘fuck you’ in the faces of investors who don’t believe in self-sustaining energy, and more of a superhero rehabilitation center."
Tags: winterhawk – Freeform; sniper bros; References to PTSD; Therapy; Recovery; Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery; Avengers Family; Avengers Tower; Bonding; Drinking; Alcohol; Steve Feels; Protective Steve; Tony Stark Needs a Hug; Tony Feels; Deaf Clint Barton; Clint Is a Good Bro; Bucky Barnes Feels; Bucky Barnes Recovering; Ceiling Vent Clint Barton; Humor; Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism; do not copy to another site
Word count: 67k+
(rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)
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Broken But Mending By Lissadiane
https://archiveofourown.org/works/18782863
Summary:
Bucky's not sure what he expects when he picks up the free local paper in his therapist's office, but it's not advice on losing things in his butt, that's for sure.
In which Bucky Barnes is a recovering war vet with a whole bunch of issues, none of which can be solved by a small time sex advice therapist, no matter how pretty his smile is. Tags: Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; War Veteran Bucky Barnes; Alternate Universe - No Powers; Amputee Bucky Barnes; Discussions of Asexuality; sex advice columnist Clint; Panic Attacks
Word count: 15k+ (rec by tumblr: @effervescentaardvark)
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Silhouette by mariana_oconnor
https://archiveofourown.org/works/7956760/chapters/18197191
Summary: After a mission in Mexico goes wrong, SHIELD Agents Barnes and Rogers are given the job of hunting down the notorious Hawkeye and the Black Widow, the only problem being: no one even knows what they look like.
On the other side of the law, Clint's enjoying messing with their new SHIELD shadows, especially seeing how close he can get to Agent Barnes without him realising, but he makes the mistake of getting attached, and that makes everything more complicated. Tags: Alternate Universe; SHIELD Agent Bucky Barnes; SHIELD Agent Steve Rogers; Assassin Clint Barton; Assassin Natasha Romanov; Slow Build; very slow build; WinterHawk Big Bang; winterhawk – Freeform; Natasha Is a Good Bro; Mission Fic; A lot of people get assassinated; Torture; Mentions of past brainwashing; epic bromances; Deaf Clint Barton; Identity Porn; Steve Rogers is a little shit; Steve Rogers Is a Good Bro;
Word count: 105k+
(rec by - tumblr: @itsalinski; note from itsalinski: ‘Silhouette is such an awesome fic, with a cool flip where Clint is the assassin and Bucky is the SHIELD agent’)
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All My Mistakes by ClaraxBarton
https://archiveofourown.org/works/14774933/chapters/34171013Summary:
Next job I’m taking is going to be south of the equator, Clint promised himself as he finished zipping up his down coat. He wished he had another. He was already wearing a black balaclava and a black beanie, thermal underwear under his clothes and two pairs of pants, but it was freezing on the rooftop.
The wind and the fine, misty rain that couldn’t decide if it wanted to be snow, ice or rain definitely didn’t help matters.
Clint hated the cold.
He didn’t understand why millionaire criminal masterminds couldn’t meet in exotic, warm locations to do their deals.
If he was a millionaire criminal mastermind, he sure as hell wouldn’t do deals in London in February.
-o-
It's February, 1999, and Clint Barton is about to encounter the Winter Soldier
Tags: Pre-Canon; or well pre-Avengers; Clint still doing his solo assassin thing; Smut; Adventure; Action; Angst; plumbing; Coffee; Spanking; jumping off roofs; shooting bad guys; Movie References; winterhawk – Freeform; Word count: 10k+ (rec by - tumblr: @itsalinski; note from itsalinski: ‘All My Mistakes is actually exactly what you were asking for, with Clint running into Bucky when he's still the winter soldier’)
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The Other Man out of Time by sara_holmes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/6004771
Summary:
Also known as Time Travelling Clint Wrecks the Universe.
Due to The Time Stone having a great day screwing around the fabric of reality, Clint finds a copy of himself thrown back into Normandy, 1944. Cue Clint 2.0 meeting Bucky Barnes, the Howling Commandos and a pretty different version of Steve.
Tags: Time Travel; Author has messed with timelines again; Dubious Science; The Time Stone; World War II; WWII Bucky Barnes; Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Clint Barton-centric; Deaf Clint Barton; Bucky Barnes Feels; The Asset remembers; Original Character Death(s)Falling In Love; Angst and Hurt/Comfort; Humor Word count: 97k+
(rec by - tumblr: @itsalinski; note from itsalinski: ‘And, The Other Man Out of Time is one of my absolute favourite Winterhawk fics’)
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Hope It Leaves a Mark by thepartyresponsible
https://archiveofourown.org/works/26762500
Summary: A collection of short fics inspired by the 2020 whumptober challenge.
Tags: Canon-Typical Violence; Fluff and Angst; Hurt/Comfort; Word count: 72k+
(rec by - tumblr: @itsalinski; note from itsalinski: ‘Also 'Hope it Leaves a Mark' is just a collection of truly awesome short fics that I wish were each long 100k fics, they're all that good and interesting (even the ones that aren't even Winterhawk, the author just writes so well and does such awesome things with Clint, Bucky and Frank’))
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Americana is for Lovers by ccbytheseashore
https://archiveofourown.org/works/10129133/chapters/22524080
Summary: Please tell me you are still alive, read Steve's text.
In Virginia, Bucky replied.
The hell are you doing in Virginia?
Would you believe me if I said trying to find a foam sculpture of Stonehenge?
Tony said to make sure his car comes back in once piece. Please don't shoot each other.
Clint and Bucky set off on an adventure to find an infamous work of Americana history, but find literally everything else (including love) instead.
Tags: Road Trips; Americana; Sexual Content; Developing Relationship; Getting Together; monstrous abuses against perfectly good bedframes
Word count: 8k+
(rec by – tumblr: @luredin)
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Bent by jstabe
https://archiveofourown.org/works/17413493
Summary: “My name is James Buchanan Barnes.”
He felt Clint’s lips curl up where they were resting at his temple. “Yes.”
“I am an Avenger.” Which was frankly ridiculous and impossible to believe sometimes, but it was true so it went on the list. Tags: Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Past Rape/Non-con Word count: 3k+ (rec by – tumblr: @luredin)
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I'll Keep You Safe Here With Me by sara_holmes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/1907085/chapters/4113102
Summary: Yes, Clint is avoiding the other Avengers. No, he does not want to go back to New York. But then again, he didn't exactly want to be kidnapped by the Winter Soldier either. Really, he just wants to go back to bed. Tags: Kidnapping; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; Canon-Typical Violence; Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Where the hell was Clint Barton; Bucky Barnes Feels; Clint Barton Feels; Depression; Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery; Implied Relationships; Minor Steve Rogers/Tony Stark; Panic Attacks Word count: 110k+ (rec by – tumblr: @luredin)
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A Little Less Bloodshed Would Be Nice by youcancallmearrow
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12972900
Summary: Clint Barton may be a human train wreck, but when it comes to befriending ex-mind controlled assassins, he's pretty much the best there is. Unfortunately, he's not nearly as good at being kind to himself. Lucky for him, Bucky's got it covered. Tags: Fluff with Feels; pizza dog – Freeform; Mind Control; Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery; You Will Pry Jarvis Out of My Cold Dead Hands; Falling In Love; Domestic Avengers; Dog Cops; WinterHawk Big Bang; Angst; Comfort; Tony Is a Good Bro
Word count: 8k+ (rec by – tumblr: @luredin)
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A Thistle Cannot Grow by ccbytheseashore
https://archiveofourown.org/works/7956835
Summary: Clint stood at the bottom of the stairs in his boxer shorts and socks with his bow aimed at Bucky Barnes.
Bucky held his hands up in a placating gesture. “I didn't mean to sneak up on you.”
Clint didn't lower the bow.
“I didn't know you had a kid,” Bucky added conversationally.
“I should shoot your ass on principle.”
Tags: Kid Fic; Deaf Clint Barton; Developing Relationship; Getting Together; Panic Attacks; Mild Hurt/Comfort; WinterHawk Big Bang; Happy Ending; Sexual Content; Frottage; winterhawk – Freeform; Word count: 12k+ (rec by – tumblr: @luredin)
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Liminal Spaces by thepartyresponsible
https://archiveofourown.org/works/19086175
Summary: “Clint,” Steve says, and it’s that same no-bullshit, do-or-die, I really, really mean it voice he used to trot out in the last few innings of close games in high school. “Bucky’s not gonna fly. He’s not going to drive himself. He can’t— I need you to drive him here.”
“Oh, fuck you,” Clint says, and hangs up. Tags: Alternate Universe - Road Trip; Alternate Universe - No Powers; Idiots in Love; Mutual Pining; Exes; Angst with a Happy Ending; Past Child Abuse; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; Clint Barton Needs a Hug; Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug Word count: 20k+ (rec by – tumblr: @luredin)
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Draw, Breathe, Fire by FestiveFerret
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12218880
Summary: If Bucky's not the Winter Soldier - not a weapon - anymore, then who is he?
And who is this smart-mouthed, cocky, flirty, pushy archer, Clint Barton? Tags: Bucky Barnes Recovering; Falling In Love; Get Together; Romance; Flirting; Banter; Hurt Clint Barton; Clint Barton's Bow & Arrows; Bucky Learns to Archery; Bucky Barnes Has PTSD; First Kiss; Sexual Content; Animal Shelters; Ferrets; Noodle no Noodling; Little bit of angst; lotta fluff
Word count: 14k+ (rec by – tumblr: @luredin)
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if god is in the lens by shatteredhourglass
https://archiveofourown.org/works/19123954
Summary:
The Asset pauses. He remembers the first few days after dragging St- dragging Captain America out of the water, the aimless emptiness that had filled him, with no mission and no knowledge of what to do next. He’d spent a week staring at the peeling wallpaper in a motel. There had been butterflies patterned on it. He hadn’t known what direction to go in next, because he was (is) scared of Captain America, and he didn’t want anything to do with Hydra, and he’d just… stopped. That’s when he realizes Barton isn’t going to move unless he gives the man a reason to move, something to do that isn’t related to a past he can’t remember or the threat of imminent death. (It’s been burned out of him, the Asset can relate.)
A mission.
He's leaning on the button to the microphone before he thinks about it. “Come with me and you can kill more of them.”
Tags: Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie); Recovery; Denial; Brainwashing; Protective Steve Rogers; Bucky Learns To Be A Person Again; Blood and Violence; Deaf Clint Barton; Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship; Bucky Barnes Feels; Psychological Trauma; Angst and Hurt/Comfort; Mostly On Bucky's Part; Clint's Just Like 'Ah Yes This Is My Life Now'; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Hand Jobs Word count: 40k+
(rec by – tumblr: @luredin)
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Got a Heart in Me, I Swear by thepartyresponsible
https://archiveofourown.org/works/28846980
Summary: The pictures leak on a lazy off-season Sunday, in that muddled bit of midafternoon Clint never knows what to do with when he isn’t training. He curls up with Lucky on the couch and naps through the end of his whole damn life. And that, honestly, is pretty much perfect.
Tags: Alternate Universe – Baseball; Implied/Referenced Homophobia; Internalized Homophobia; Team as Family; Fluff and Angst; Mutual Pining; Idiots in Love Word Count: 36k+ (rec by – tumblr: @1968bullittmustang: ‘one of my all-time favorite au’)
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Patricia the Superior Vehicle: The Helpfulness Mission by Aelfay, pietray, Sagacity, Twindragons
https://archiveofourown.org/works/42875178
Summary: The Soldier is doing his best. He’s not quite up to trying to deal with Rogers, Steven G. (Captain), but he’s found another way to be helpful: keeping an eye on one Clint Barton. He’s kind of a mess, but that just gives the Soldier more ways to help, right?
Clint is confused about why Natasha keeps following him around – he keeps seeing glimpses of black out of the corner of his eye. The constant presence means he’s a little suspicious of his next mission. Unfortunately, it’s still not enough to keep him from being caught.
In which: Clint sings the disco stick song, Patricia is a Superior Vehicle, and the Soldier buys underwear. A balance of humor and intimacy as Clint and Bucky both recover a little bit of who they are.
Tags: Kidnapping; Cabin Fic; Mission Fic; Hand Jobs; Frottage; Deaf Clint Barton; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Patricia the Superior Vehicle; Disco Stick; Fluff and Smut
Word count: 16k+
(self-rec by tumblr: @alchemistdoctor)
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What Happens in Vegas… by Aelfay, Twindragons
Summary: Clint gets sent to check on a 'friend' of Natasha's in Las Vegas. Only this place is really nice, and her 'friend' is hot as hell. How is he meant to cope!? Answer: he can't. Featuring bunny ears, a fluffy tail, and Clint never quite having enough clothes.
Tags: Pole Dancing; Aerial silks; casino – Freeform; Crack Treated Seriously; Looney Tunes – Freeform; Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship; Natasha Romanov is a good friend; Illustrated; Don't post on another site; Clint Barton loses it when Bucky pole dances; brief masturbation
Word count: 10k+
(self-rec by tumblr: @alchemistdoctor)
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Boys of Summer by Aelfay
https://archiveofourown.org/works/21711700
Summary:
Bucky wants a goat. He gets robots, a dog, and Clint Barton.
And the goat.
Tags: Trashcan the Goat; James "Bucky" Barnes; Clint Barton; Steve Rogers; Tony Stark; Natasha Romanov (Marvel); DUM-Ebite-Size; U (robot); Cricket (robot); Hamburger Helper (robot); Fidget (robot);
(self-rec by tumblr: @alchemistdoctor)
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Fair Game by NotEvenCloseToStraight
Summary:
...being courted by a wolf!shifter is hard.
When Clint accepts the Game Warden/Shifter Pack Liaison position in Willow’s Run he thinks he'll be signing hunting licenses and maybe writing a few tickets. He doesn't expect to start a brawl on day one, be claimed by the definitely scary Beta!Wolf Bucky on day two and begin what might be the worlds slowest courtship.
...oops?
Eventually Clint settles into his new role, strikes up a friendship with precocious scientist!Tony and a careful affair with Bucky. He navigates awkward shifter courtship rituals and misunderstandings, surprising romance and increasingly bitey kisses and for a while, all is well in the mountains.
But hunting season brings strangers to the town and when increased tension and broken rules bring up old prejudices and new fears, their quiet life turns dangerous.
Clint has his hands full with aggressive hunters, defensive pack members and a town pushed towards chaos.
Torn between the law and what his heart wants, the Game Warden knows something's gotta give--
--but will that 'something' end up driving Bucky and the pack away?
Tags: winterhawk - FreeformStony – Freeform; Shifter AU; Wolf Shifters; Strangers to Lovers; True Mates; Matt Fraction's Hawkeye; Clint Barton & Tony Stark Friendship; awkward dating; Werewolf Courting; Hunters vs Shifters; Fluff and Humor; FunnyAngst and Feels; Mild Peril; Falling In Love; Developing Relationship; Awesome Clint Barton; Tony Stark Does What He Wants; Alpha Steve Rogers; Bucky Barnes Feels; Pack Dynamics; Hurt Characters; Hurt/Comfort; sex then feelings; Eventual love confessions; happily ever after guaranteed;
Word count: 139,000k+
(rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)
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if you were a mythical thing by Kangofu_CB
https://archiveofourown.org/works/42952029/chapters/107913444
Summary:
After winding up in hot water with the Ukrainian mob, Clint finds himself relocating to a small town in northern Indiana to work as an elementary school gym teacher, and finds his new home invaded by a series of suspiciously wolfish puppies determined to be Lucky's BFFs, and his life invaded by over zealously friendly neighbors determined to feed him. In a startling twist of events, three of his favorite students happen to be his next door neighbors, along with their ruinously hot single dad Bucky, who proves to be just as enamored of Clint as he is of Bucky.
What follows is a classic rendition of thirsting over the hot neighbor, bizarre small-town behavior, and so many puppies.
Tags: modern suburban fantasy au; Alternate Universe – Teachers; Kid Fic; Werewolves; disconcertingly friendly locals; puppy invasions; bizarre subtle interrogations; roving packs of scheming children; awkward seduction attempts via edible arrangements; a ruinously hot single dad; Werewolf Courting; Werewolf Mates; Oblivious Clint Barton; Protective Natasha Romanov; Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov Friendship; Alpha Steve Rogers; Peggy was and remains a spy and it shows; Sam Wilson is a Gift; First Dates; Slow Burn; the things werewolves find attractive are more surprising than you think; SexAnal Sex; First Time; fluff and joy and jokes mostly; No Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics
Word count: 74k+
(rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)
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Lost & Found by mariana_oconnor
https://archiveofourown.org/works/15230097
Summary:
Clint Barton’s got a bag full of stolen money and a burning desire to stay under the radar. His old friends in the Carnival will be looking for him and they sure as hell won’t be happy. In a desperate attempt to stay off their radar, he ends up in Timely, a small town so far off the beaten track he’s surprised he even found it, and waits for Barney to comes and get him. Because Barney will be coming. Clint knows he will.
But there's something about the town. Maybe it's the strange wolf that watches him from the trees, and the way people finish conversations when he enters a room. Or it could be the bartender, Bucky, who decided to hate him on sight. Something’s going on in this small town, and Clint’s not sure if he’s jumped out of the frying pan and into the fire.
Tags: Alternate Universe – Werecreatures; Werewolf Bucky Barnes; Werewolf Steve Rogers; Werefox Natasha Romanov; Protective Natasha Romanov; Carson's Carnival; Hard of Hearing Clint Barton; Canon Disabled Character; Bucky Barnes Has Issues; People Trafficking; forced cage fighting; dubiously consensual heavy petting; on the part of the petter; Pack Dynamics; Not Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics; But Steve is the alpha; Sheriff Steve Rogers; Bartender Bucky Barnes; Criminal Clint Barton; Werewolves; werewolves mate for life; Clint Barton's Excellent Self Esteem; Barney Barton's A+ Brothering; Barney Barton is not a good bro; WinterHawk Big Bang; Implied past emotional abuse; Identity Porn; Slow Burn; Enemies to Friends to Lovers; Public Sex; Inadvisable attitudes to wild animals; Seriously people; Don't Try This At Home; Clint Barton is not a good role model
Word count: 89k+
(rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)
___________________ Mokusatsu by shadesfalcon (Wintershieldhawk)
https://archiveofourown.org/works/12227904
Summary:
Clint Barton has been strung along from abusive relationship to abusive relationship all his life. Not that he would use the word “abusive”. He would argue that, as a sub, he was born to take whatever it is his dom feels like throwing at him.
But even with that attitude, he’s nervous about his current situation. Trapped in a bureaucratically mandated relationship with not one but two doms is going to be difficult and dangerous. Especially since these two doms are both members of the Avengers themselves.
He hopes that whenever he disappoints them, they’ll have at least a little pity on him, even though he knows he won’t deserve it.
Tags: Alternate Universe – BDSM; Dom/sub; Power Imbalance; Communication Failure; and given that power imbalance those communications failures have real consequences; Spanking; Belts; Canes; Bondage; Hurt/Comfort; references to past abuse; accidental abuse; Unhealthy Relationships With Food; self-harming behaviors; Sub Clint Barton; Dom Bucky Barnes; Dom Steve Rogers; Domestic Violence; Sexual Content; Angst with a Happy Ending; Polyamory
Word count: 125k+ (rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)
___________________ Speechless by sara_holmes
https://archiveofourown.org/works/5647540
Summary: It's not that Bucky doesn't want to talk. It's that sometimes (most of the time) he can't. So learning ASL is 50% getting around that slight issue and 50% getting Steve to shut his cake-hole about the necessity of him learning to speak again.
Well, to begin with. Then it's pretty much all about him falling head-over-heels for his incredibly hot - yet slightly tragic - ASL teacher.
Tags: Alternate Universe - No Powers; Deaf Clint Barton; ASL teacher Clint Barton; Mutism; Bucky Barnes Feels; Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship; Anxiety; Anxiety Disorder; Therapy; Physical Therapy; Mentions of PTSD; Steve and Bucky are ex military; Bucky Barnes Recovering; Happy Ending; Humor; Fluff; Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm; dumb boys; Falling In Love; an incident with an egg; Clint Barton is tragic and adorable and not as dumb as he makes out Word count: 10k+ (rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)
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Hipsters get Remembered, Legends Never Die by sara_holmes https://archiveofourown.org/works/17471969/chapters/41145935
Summary: Bucky Barnes is a broke millennial hipster and one-armed veteran who somehow ends up as a science project for Tony Stark, a PA for Steve Rogers and a fling for Clint Barton. What even is his life.
Tags: Modern Bucky Barnes; Awesome Clint Barton; Commander Rogers; SHIELD 2.0; War Veteran Bucky Barnes; Canon Disabled Character; Millennial Bucky; Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder – PTSD; Recovery; Do not repost; Do not post to other sites Word count: 89k+
(rec by tumblr: @southern-goth: ‘this is a different take with hipster!Bucky and he's annoying but in a good way lol’)
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This Just In by Noxnthea https://archiveofourown.org/works/44128362
Summary: George C @dapperdanman if I was Hawkeye this might be the worst day of my life. 1: I get the shit beat out of me. 2: I find out my Soulmate is the Winter Soldier. 3: I pass out while a villain is monologuing at me on live television and the internet makes a meme of me talking about sandwiches in my sleep.
Clint and Bucky are having a rough month, and the whole world has something to say about it.
Tags: Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Alternate Universe – Soulmates; Soulmate-Identifying Marks; Identity Reveal; Light Angst; Humor; Epistolary; Chatting & Messaging; Social Media; News Media; Texting; Twitter; reddit; YouTube; POV Outsider; The Avengers vs their worst foe yet: the media; Clint vs his self-esteem; Slow Burn; Even though the news moves fast; Steve Rogers Rages Against The Machine; Clint Barton Needs a Hug; Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug; Somebody tell these people to hire a PR team Word count: 29k+ (rec by tumblr: @southern-goth: ‘there's social media posts in this fic and it's so well written I could cry’)
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Complications by flawedamythyst https://archiveofourown.org/works/6700921/chapters/15325426 Summary:
Clint's got a plan to retire and go find himself a simple life at his family's old farm. Simple is good, right? Easy to remember. Simple is why he doesn't really mind that his soul-print has never activated, because a soulmate could only add another layer of complexity to his life.
And then the Winter Soldier turns up at his archery range on the Avengers base, and simple slips through Clint's fingers.
Post Age-of-Ultron (minus Clint's wife&kids) Soulmate AU.
Massive thanks to Chucksauce for betaing. Tags: Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie); Not Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant; Soulmate-Identifying Marks; Main Pairing is Clint/Bucky; Mention of past violence towards children
Word count: 84k+ (rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)
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A Heart Worth Loving by Kangofu_CB
https://archiveofourown.org/works/34870519
Summary: Fate has it out for Clint Barton.
After a few too many heartbreaks, he's given up looking for his Soulmate; who needs happily ever after anyway? He’s perfectly content with his dog, his job, guarding eccentric billionaires, and drinking Natasha’s contraband vodka. Just ask anyone.
So he doesn’t think anything about inviting a random sex worker home for coffee to get him out of the cold - no need for any special company, thanks - because that’s just the decent thing to do. But when he keeps meeting Bucky again and again, it’s not fate he’s gotta worry about, it’s his heart.
Bucky’s just living his life. He’s got work he doesn’t hate, a degree program he loves, and and a side project out to prove Green Arrow's archery antics aren't possible outside the comics. He’ll meet his Soulmate when the time is right, but for now he’s content to wait.
But then his roommate pulls a Breaking Bad, leaving him caught up in an NYPD investigation, out of his regular work, and scrambling for a place to stay where his demon-cat won’t get them both evicted. Before he knows it, Clint is turning his whole life turned upside down, and Bucky thinks fate shouldn’t be tempting him.
Tags: Alternate Universe – Soulmates; Soulmates; Soulmate-Identifying Marks; Sex Worker Bucky Barnes; Sex Work; Jewish Bucky Barnes; SHIELD Agent Clint Barton; SHIELD Agent Natasha Romanov; Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers; War Veteran Bucky Barnes; Modern Bucky Barnes; Deaf Clint Barton; Past Relationship(s); Concussions; Forced Cohabitation; Miscommunication; Fake/Pretend Relationship; Angst and Fluff and Smut; Tony Stark Does What He Wants; Pop Culture References; Archery; Masturbation in Shower; Clint is emotionally constipated; Poor attempts at seduction; the love is requited but they're both idiots; Sex; (of course there's sex - I wrote this)
Word count: 82k+
(rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)
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something magic, something tragic by squadrickchestopher https://archiveofourown.org/works/28487004/chapters/69802917
Summary:
After making a fatal mistake on a mission, Clint Barton vanishes into the depths of the Midwest.
What he wants is to be left alone for a bit, to take a couple weeks of peace and quiet and get his mind straight.
Instead, he finds himself caught up in a nationwide game of cat-and-mouse with a brooding, metal-armed vampire.
Natasha’s right. He’s got the worst fucking luck in the world.
Tags: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements; Supernatural Creatures; Vampire Bucky Barnes; Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug; Canon-Typical Violence; Deaf Clint Barton; Competent Clint Barton; some non-consensual biting; because Vampires; Attempted Kidnapping; Sassy Clint Barton; Other Additional Tags to Be Added; Enemies to Lovers; creative escapes; Non-Consensual Blood Drinking; Implied/Referenced Suicide; Drunken Kissing; Torture
Word count: 55k+
(rec by tumblr: @southern-goth: ‘supernatural!Marvel’)
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Once Lost (now found) by Teeelsie https://archiveofourown.org/works/35419939Summary:
There’s a beat and then Phil says, “Clint, you don’t have anything to prove.”
And that stings, because, “If you think I’m doing this to prove anything to anyone, then you don’t know me half as well as I thought you did.” He hears Phil sigh on the other end of the comm. “Besides,” Clint tells him, “I’ll have back-up. I’ll have Barnes. Hawkeye out.” He reaches up and clicks off the comm, cutting off Phil’s continued objection mid-word.
Eight days these assholes have had Barnes and he’s not going to let them keep him for another hour, much less another day. He doesn’t have anything to prove, but he sure as hell isn’t going to give anyone any reason to question his actions, either. Tags: Whump; Hurt/Comfort; Blindness; On the Run; Blood and Injury; Self-Sacrifice; Hurt Bucky Barnes; Hurt Clint Barton; BAMF Bucky Barnes; BAMF Clint Barton; Developing Relationship; Rivals to Friends to WinterHawk Word count: 40k
(rec by tumblr: @southern-goth)
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blood on my hands, love in my heart by hawksonfire https://archiveofourown.org/works/33643102/chapters/83604322
Summary: The lines in the Soldier’s forehead are gone in his unconsciousness, leaving a relatively young looking top half of a face. Clint has to put his bow away to get the mask off him, but it slides off pretty easy and he sets it aside.
The instant he turns back and sees the Soldier’s face, his jaw drops. “Holy fuck,” he says, astonished. “You’re Bucky goddamn Barnes.”
Tags: Deaf Clint Barton; Mercenary Clint Barton; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Not Canon Compliant; BAMF Phil Coulson; Director of SHIELD Peggy Carter; boomerang arrow; Sassy Clint Barton; Sassy Phil Coulson; BAMF Clint Barton; Violence only in the first and second chapter; Home Renovations; Bucky Barnes Recovering; Clint Barton's Farm; Clint Barton's Shitty Childhood; PiningMutual Pining; Sexual Tension; Nightmares; Chickens; Domesticity; Bucky Patching Clint Up; Chickenus Interruptus; Sharing a Bed; Cuddling & Snuggling; Boys In Love; Boys Kissing; Clint Barton's Arms; Hand Jobs Word count: 12k+
(self-rec by @spacey-acey-artemis: ‘this one has Hawkeye meeting the Winter Soldier’)
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blood on my hands, love in my heart by hawksonfire
https://archiveofourown.org/works/33643102
Summary: What if, after Clint Barton was left for dead by his own brother, he didn't become Ronin and instead became someone else? This is the story about the Winter Soldiers, and how they became two
Tags: Winter Soldier Clint Barton; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Pining; Idiots in Love; mentions of torture; Mentions of brainwashing
Word count: 7k+
(self-rec by @spacey-acey-artemis: ‘this one has a fun twist on Winter Soldier Bucky’)
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The Storm Shall Not Wake Thee by dr_girlfriend
https://archiveofourown.org/works/52165594
Summary: Following the events of CA:TWS, the Winter Soldier finds Hawkeye. Clint is still haunted by his own experiences with having his control stripped away, but together they find a way to heal.
Excerpt:
“How did you even … how are you tracking me?” Clint tries.
The question seems to confuse Barnes even further. He looks at Clint, and then somewhere behind Clint’s shoulder, and then back to Clint’s eyes.
“I don’t know,” Barnes says again.
“Listen,” Clint says, taking a step forward, and Barnes flinches back instinctively, stumbling for a moment.
“Whoa,” Clint says. Before he knows it he’s sheathing the knife and grabbing Barnes’ arm, steadying him. Barnes blinks rapidly a few times, wobbling a bit before he seems to find his balance again. His slate-blue gaze, so intent a moment ago, seems a little unfocused.
“When’s the last time you ate? Drank something? Slept?”
“I don’t know,” Barnes says, Clint mouthing the lines along with him.
Christ, Nat is going to kill him when she finds out about this, but there’s nothing else Clint can do.
“Well, c’mon in the house. We’ll get this figured out.”
Tags: winterhawk – Freeform; Canon Divergent; Post CA:TWS; Selkie Bucky Barnes; Selkies; Deaf Character; Deaf Clint Barton; Clint Barton Has ADHD; Demisexuality; Implied/Referenced Child Abuse; Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con; Canon Disabled Character; Secondary Relationships are Background; Matt Fraction-inspired Clint Barton; All Characters Outside of Winterhawk Are Very Background; Single POVPOV Clint Barton; Clint Barton Has Self-Esteem Issues Word count: 45k+
(self-rec by tumblr: @drgrlfriendrgrlfriend) (I also love their stuff, so consider this a rec from me as well! - Lynlee494)
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My Heart Will Be Your Home by dr_girlfriend
https://archiveofourown.org/works/42901050
Summary: Four years after the Battle of New York, Clint has created a stable life for himself and his young daughter, free of the dangers of SHIELD work.
The Winter Soldier turned himself in to the Avengers, expecting a death sentence or lifetime of imprisonment. Instead, he found absolution and an invitation to join the team. He is still adjusting to life as an Avenger when he meets Clint Barton and his daughter.
The young man that Bucky Barnes used to be was wholeheartedly enthusiastic about meeting his soulmate, but Bucky is not sure there’s a place for him in his soulmate’s life anymore.
Clint has spent his whole life dreading meeting his soulmate, drawing false conclusions from the hurtful words that were spoken in haste. They are both drawn to each other and are willing to give this a try, but will have to work together to overcome the shadows of their past.
Excerpt:
It’s one of the largest soulmarks Bucky has ever seen. The script in Bucky’s neat cursive handwriting starts at the crest of one shoulder and arcs below Clint’s collarbones to end at the crest of the other shoulder, golden letters that no tattoo ink has ever been able to replicate.
What kind of idiot are you?
Tags: winterhawk – Freeform; AU; alternative universe; Soulmates; Alternate Universe – Soulmates; Soulmarks; Soul Bond; Soulmate-Identifying Marks; Single Parent Clint Barton; Single Parents; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; SHIELD Veteran Clint Barton; Secondary Relationships are Background; Deaf Character; Deaf Clint Barton; Jewish Character; Jewish Bucky Barnes; Picking Through Canon Like a Junkyard to Find the Parts I LikeSingle POV; Referenced Canonical Character Death (Phil Coulson); Mild Derogatory Language (e.g. Idiot and Stupid); Canon Disabled Character; Disabled Character; original robot character – Freeform; Harm to a Child in the Context of a Nightmare; Fluff Word count: 49K+ (self-rec by tumblr: @drgrlfriend)
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Freefall by dr_girlfriend
https://archiveofourown.org/works/36074404
Summary:
It’s a small hunting cabin. It’s unlikely to have heat or electricity, and it looks uninhabited, but it’s shelter, and Clint is beyond relieved to have managed to make it within striking distance. Just a little longer … a little farther …
It takes him long enough that he would be ashamed under any other circumstances, but eventually he gets the lock open and swings the door wide.
“Fuck me.”
It’s a small one-room cabin, dark and dusty, and notable primarily for the fact that the fucking Winter Soldier is inside, straightening up from where he was hunched by the fireplace, drawing his knife. Tags: Discussion of Canon Child Abuse; Discussion of Canon Brainwashing; Seizures; Epilepsy; Fluff; SHIELD Agent Clint Barton; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Strike Team Delta (Marvel)Sharing a Bed; Sharing Body Heat; Stranded; Slow Burn
Word count: 49k+
(self-rec by tumblr: @drgrlfriendrgrlfriend)
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(Tell Me) It'll All Be Alright by Lynlee494
https://archiveofourown.org/works/54368605
Summary:
How do they do it? Boxed in like that. Back to the only open space around you? Sitting around all day. Nothing to do...” Clint’s voice is tinny through the comms. “Ooh, if you see any decent munchies, snag me a few. I missed dinner.”
“Hey, bird brain, focus. If we’re too late getting back, I can’t pick up Alpine from Kate’s till late tomorrow.” Bucky’s voice is low, while the building should be empty, they aren’t able to watch all the entrances from Clint’s angle on the opposite building. A lot of this relies on the element of surprise and stealth.
"Dude, you just walked past a break room.”
“Are you looking for stray guards, or are you looking for snacks?”
“Both, of course.” Clint scoffs on the open mic. “Wait! Nine o'clock!”
Bucky growls but reaches out and grabs a handful of caramels from a desk and puts them in the breast pocket of his tactical vest.
“You’re the best.”
“Shut up, Barton.”
Tags: Missions Gone Wrong; Hurt/Comfort; Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug; Hurt Bucky Barnes; Protective Clint Barton; Clint & Bucky’s Mutual Love for Explosions; Canon-Typical Violence; Clint Barton Needs a Hug; Bucky Barnes Needs A Bandaid; Whump; Clint Barton is a BAMF; Unreliable Narrator; Matt Fraction-inspired Clint BartonClint Barton Doesn't Have A Secret Family; winterhawk - Freeform; sniper bros; Pre-Slash
(self-rec by Lynlee494: *see above reference to 'shameless')
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Barton and Barnes, the Marvelous Ex-Assassins by Lynlee494
https://archiveofourown.org/works/50450977
Summary: It wouldn’t have been so bad, Bucky could have shrugged this off easily once he caught his breath, but he found the more he pulled to free himself the worse it seemed to be. Barnes thinks he hears shouting, but it is distorted and drowned out by the pounding in his ears. Ripping further at the trap that was furthering ensnaring him he found himself snarling and just ripping at it with brute strength and panicked rage that echoed of the Asset’s frustrated rampages through Hydra personnel.
Tags: Hurt Bucky Barnes; Whump; Bucky Barnes Whump; Hurt/Comfort; Whumptober; Whumptober 2023; Day 1 Prompt; Safety Net; Panic; "How Many Fingers Am I Holding Up?"; Circus Performer Clint Barton; Circus Has Come To Town; Canon-Typical Violence; Bucky Barnes Recovering; Panic Attacks; Alternative Prompt; Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes; Clint Barton Feels; Dehumanization; preslashwinterhawk - Freeform
(self-rec by Lynlee494: *see above reference to 'shameless')
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I Don't Remember How by AvaKelly (Part 1 of Kitty)
https://archiveofourown.org/series/308049
Summary:
"How the hell did they wash you," he mutters as he raises from the chair.
"Hosed the blood down," comes from behind as the Soldier follows him toward the bathroom.
Clint almost screams right then and there.
Tags: Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Pre-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie); Where Was Clint Barton During Captain America 2?; the farm house; Gif Inspired; Oblivious Clint; there's a kitty; Memory Loss; clint adopts assassins; clint is in denial
Word count: 7k+ (Part 1) (rec by tumblr: @nana-evans) (assistance from tumblr: @therulingqueen)
___________________ Nameless by AvaKelly
https://archiveofourown.org/works/5827387
Summary: A gun is pointed at him before he can even move from his position, the Soldier's metal arm steady in its aim. Clint sighs.
"Nemo," Clint says. "It's tattooed on your wrist, right here," he lifts his right hand and taps his left index finger where his palm ends.
The Soldier's eyes widen. "How do you know this?"
"I put it there." Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence; Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier; Past meetings; starcrossed assassins (not really); Memory Loss; Tattoos; jules verne references; Canon-Typical Violence; Hurt/Comfort; Recovery; Infinity Gems; Time Loop; Time Travel; Slow Burn; Action; Rescue Mission; Saving the World; mentions of torture; Tearjerker; Healing; obliviously falling in love
Word count: 101k+ (rec by tumblr: @nana-evans) (assistance from tumblr: @o-kaythislooksbad)
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Author recs:
'Definitely try squadrickchestopher’s and teeelsie’s fics!' teeelsie: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Teeelsie/pseuds/Teeelsie/works
(rec by tumblr: @jinxquickfoot)
(rec by tumblr: @broken--bow ) -- squadrickchestopher: https://archiveofourown.org/users/squadrickchestopher/pseuds/squadrickchestopher/works
(rec by tumblr: @jinxquickfoot)
--
Lissadiane: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lissadiane/pseuds/Lissadiane
(rec by tumblr: @sishal01)
--
‘I'm shocked that no one has recommended ArtaxLivs yet--particularly the True Colors series; Through the Looking Glass; Both, Both is Good; And the Stockings Were Hung; and The Happiest Place on Earth. The character insight! The inner anguish! The humor! The smut! ’
ArtaxLivs: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArtaxLivs/works
(rec by tumblr: @feistygina )
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***I was unable to find the following, however: ‘You should check Ava Kelly's "Kitty" series for Clint finds Bucky, it's awesome! Also, "Nemo", from the same author’ (rec by tumblr: @nana-evans) ***If anyone has a link? I tried to find both author and stories, and failed.
Thank you to @therulingqueen and @o-kaythislooksbad! The above fixed are now at the end, right before the 'Author Recs'!
116 notes · View notes
peachysunrize · 1 month
Note
One thing that I find really wasteful is how they basically threw the Prince Regent storyline down the drain. If their intention was to show Aemond’s descent into pure evil, they could have at least given us something. Like, shown him wearing a crown, sitting on the Iron Throne, holding court. All the Dark Prince vibes. But what does he actually do? He leads a couple of council meetings while Alicent has her Eat, pray, love moment. He orders to remove the rat catchers (thank goodness, since them being hung was haunting the narrative more than poor Jaehaerys’ death), fires Alicent (a wise decision, given her selling them all out in the season finale), calls Larys a toad (iconic), and tried to single-handedly run a war that is putting his entire family’s life at risk but that no one except Cole and Gwayne seem to care about. So what did he do that was so bad, considering the context of the world the series is set in and the fact that they're at war? The people blame him for the blockade that Nyra has put in place (the scene with the food boats, Hunger Games’ sponsors style is RIDICULOUS). The fact that he doesn't treat Helaena like she's made of glass and thinks she wants to fight, since she's a rider despite what Nyra says, and considering her son was slaughtered, makes perfect sense. The only two times Aemond actually acts as a villain is towards Aegon and when he burns the village. I don't excuse his behavior towards Aegon, but as for the village the writers didn't bother to give us any context. But, assuming the village was actively helping Nyra, well… it’s gone, cry me a river. This a medieval civil war and the lives of everyone in Aemond's family are at stake. The fact that the narrative continues to cast Nyra as a literal saint because she keeps procrastinating (even though she does want to put her ass on the throne) and everything she does is a whoopsie daisy, while Aemond is the boogieman because his actions make sense in the context of the war is just bad writing.
End of rant. Sorry, but all the antis in Aemond's tag who see Daemon as a hero and can't wait for him to kill him pissed me off 😭
Oh no lovey it’s okay!!! Rant all you want here<33
I totally understand that!!! I’ve been saying this since the whole “Aemond is a dark ass villain” hate train started and it’s still pisses me off because this “villain” people are hating on hasn’t done anything?? Like NOTHING?? I’m not excusing his actions towards Aegon but if we got him doing something pure evil FOR HIS PLEASURE AND SATISFACTION then I’d be more than willing to call him a villain
But now he’s burnt a village with no context, we don’t know what he thinks, we just know he is “evil and sick” for not treating Helaena like a child and actually sees potential in her.
Like bffr writers! How am I and other Aemond wives to hate on him when we don’t know ANYTHING about him??? How can I hate him when he is the only one alongside Daeron, Cole & Gwayne that wants to survive this war!!!??? He said it himself it’s not about the throne anymore it’s their lives!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
21 notes · View notes
gibuckaroo · 6 months
Text
WIP Wednesday
got tagged by my best friend @babybucks! this is my first time to join and is there a format? because i've found i'm bad at formats, but anyway
this is a snippet from the first part where buck and natalia break up in my multi chaptered buddie fake dating fic which has been sitting in my gdocs since nov? i normally don't have wips because i go for one shots and upload it as soon as i think of it and it's done. but this has gone through so much edits and changes that it's not even the fic i started with (sorry i'm ranting)
“Just made me remember about the situation with the LAFD a few years back, wasn’t it?”  He nods curtly, ready to drop it, asking instead about the incident that happened with her—he can focus on that, the present, her, here, the fact that all he’s doing is pretending this isn’t coming undone as he speaks.  “I searched about it. You didn’t tell me Eddie was the one who got shot.”  The claws ease. The hold slackens. The nails sag. He prays she wouldn’t continue.   “Yeah,” he manages to croak out, "he was.” “And you were there, too. There was footage from a civilian, from one of the buildings—it was all over the news. I’ve heard of it, for sure, but never connected two and two together.”   There’s still this nonchalance in the way she speaks as if Buck’s world didn’t turn upside down in that moment.  Snapshots infiltrate the back of his eyelids, heavy and uncomfortable as the memories appear to him in flashes. As iron fills his tongue. As he sees brown eyes slowly close, in a space he so desperately wanted to reach.  “I was.”  “That must have been exciting! No, sorry, that’s not the right word, but thrilling—I mean, your job generally is.”  Buck doesn’t speak. Natalia shouldn’t either, but she does.  “Does Eddie talk about it? Must have been so cool—" The claws disengage. The hold lets go. The nails lose.  Just like that.  Buck stands up, his chair scraping across the wooden floor so loud that it gets the attention of half the restaurant. He gets money from his wallet, a few bills he doesn’t even bother checking and storms out of there before his vision gets too dark and he goes to a place he hasn’t been in for a while.  He reminds himself to breathe, but the smell of blood is overpowering, and he can feel his hand twitch to reach even though there’s nothing there to grab.  Cool?   Cool? Cool? All he can see is red. The red on her shirt, the red from the fire engine driving by, the red that swallowed his face whole covering his tongue for weeks, months—he could never truly wash it away.  (He should have stopped. Should have stayed. Should have let her finish her sentence at least. She has said the same thing to him once, and he only responded in laughter.  What’s the difference now? What’s the difference between the lightning and the shooting?) (Eddie.  Eddie’s the difference.)  The taste of iron on his tongue and Eddie’s eyes hollow, as life slowly drained away from him. He inhales and exhales as he jogs up to his car and he hears the steps of another person following him. He can’t even face her right now. He can’t even look at her without exploding. 
tagging @evanbegins @likegoldintheair @letswishuponastar @loserdiaz @strawberryspence @yramesoruniverse + anybody who'd like to share their wips <33 (pls tag me i'd love to read)
16 notes · View notes
stevebabey · 8 months
Note
I just read your x reader post (and the anon response to it) and good Lord you are right. I read your whole rant and I felt it in my bones!!
I've been in this damn app for over 10 years, and written for almost as many fandoms, and I'll say that the x reader tag has NEVER been this bad. It's not just st, it's nearly all of the ones I've seen and it's just gone down hill. It's really so fucking sad.
I was huge in the SVU fandom, and there were So! Many! Writers! We all reblogged eachothers fics and not everything had to be about sex to get notes! We LOVED when reader kissed the character for the first time because we understood that it was the yearning, the 'Oh God finally I'm having you' and not all about just fucking! God now even the most hastly written, shitty smut gets thousands of notes just because it's smut. It's so fucking disheartening. I've written a few things for st (one of which is the piece I'm most proud of, ever) and it got like, 100 notes on here. That's it, but I swear some 'popular' writers get so much traction just because they write smut poorly.
And not to sound like a boomer (cause I'm not a SWEAR) but the tik tok-ification of fandom and fanfic is ruining it! The lack of reading comprehension, the fact that reader has to be as description-less as possible or else "its not realalistic, I'd never do that, etc etc" makes me wanna rip my skin off. Fanfic used to be an outlet for so many people but the way its treated now makes it near unbearable.
(I'm so sorry I went on a rant you don't have to post this but just know that I agree with you 110%)
RANT! RANT! RANT! i’m so happy to hear people’s rant, i talk about these issues a lot with friends in dms and it’s very vindicating to hear it’s something that has bugged and annoyed more people than just me !
yes omg the way x reader fics have shifted over the last 10 years is INSANE— hearing that it’s not just stranger things unfortunately doesn’t make me feel much better lmao
i’ve picked this fight before back when i was in the spidey fandom because of this EXACT reason — where i was like hey…… sometimes things that have more notes….. are worse - because people have this insane thing where they will judge a fic? based on? its notes? and its like buddy how do u think a fic gets ANY notes if you act like that. truly its the worst, writers that are already big just keep getting boosted (even if they just write characters nasty fucking which is! ur prerogative! but it shouldnt be SUCH a factor in being popular/getting your fics read)
i’m not pointing fingers but yes i know a couple blogs that get HYPED because they both A) write smut constantly and B) write fast. and isn’t that just such a kicker if you can’t and don’t want to do those things? like even though it means nothing, there is no correlation between writing slow = bad writing, this site reflects that SO much because they never give that shit the notes it deserves
tiktok-ification god ur so right. it’s the way the mindset has shifted from these being wips, writing, pieces that you develop into instead content. consumable content. there’s such a disconnect between people that read shit tons of fic and the realisation that it’s produced by a person. they just hit the like button and go on anon to ask for an update and it’s like buddy it can’t work that way! the same way u like to read fic, writers want validation and engagement and questions and motivation!!! talk about biting the hand that feeds you 😭
[grabs ur shoulders and presses our foreheads together] we’re not crazy. it used to be better and we can make it better in time <3
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galaxythreads · 9 months
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Hi, do you mind if I rant a little? Because I found one of your posts while browsing the Loki tag and I’ve since found several more. Then I found your WandaVision one and it reminded me all over again how annoyed that finale made me. I’m sorry, I know it’s been a couple years since it came out, but MY DAYS! What were they thinking in the writers room!? It could’ve all been resolved if Wanda didn’t know what she was doing and sincerely apologised after for it, but… SHE KNEW!? The whole time! And then felt justified for it! “They won’t know what you sacrificed” still being one of the worst lines to come from Marvel. What happened to Wanda crying her eyes out in Lagos because she caused casualties? What happened to Wanda having a panic attack in AOU because she realised what she’d accidentally caused to happen? I had my own opinions about her before, but now I can’t stand her. It would be alright if Marvel went down the villain route of Wanda grieving so much she can no longer care to do good, but they’re still trying to act like she’s a good person after this, as if they haven’t made all her casualties only POC, as if she had a right to enslave an entire town and gaslight her husband and kids. I’m sorry, I’ve gone on for longer than I meant to about something you’re probably not even bothered about anymore. I don’t even know if I’m making sense
rant away, you're good. I remember that i made that post after months (weeks?) of frustration about seeing people praising the ground that Wanda walks on when all I could see when I looked at her is one of the most selfish people in the entirety of MCU. Her character was so good until WandaVision and MoM. She and Loki were my favorite characters.
"It could’ve all been resolved if Wanda didn’t know what she was doing and sincerely apologized after for it, but… SHE KNEW!?"
EXACTLY. There is a massive difference between "i did this without meaning to, I am so sorry" vs "I know I am actively hurting these people and I DO NOT CARE" she comes across as so cold and so selfish because she doesn't. Wanda in WandaVision doesn't care about other people, just what she wants. I just can't help but think about the beginning of her arc vs the end and just feel massive disappointment. And I think it wouldn't be as annoying if it wasn't framed like she was a hero. If they intentionally took her on a dark path and let her be evil, it would have been fine and I would have enjoyed it because I would have been in awe of the clever writing.
But she's not. Wanda is not a hero in WandaVision for holding an entire town captive. she's not a hero for being aware of what she was doing and then doing it anyway. Like I guess the problem with WandaVision is that the finale and the rest of the series seem to disagree with each other, if that makes sense?
Wanda knows what she's doing in every episode until the end, where she's suddenly more sympathetic because she's not trying to hurt people?
like this scene:
this scene was clearly intended for her to BE the villain
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but then you get to the end and the finale is like "NOPE! She was actually a good person the Whole Time :D"
look at her! Would I say she's in her right mind? no. but she is aware, she is responding, she is conscious, she KNOWS what she is doing because she understands that the wall can be exited and entered, she is aware these people are here to RESCUE the townspeople and she threatens them. She has what she wants, that's all that matters. WandaVision is an amazing villain origin story. but somehow after all of this she still doesn't have to face any repercussions???
gughsguhgusdghsdglihsdg. Yeah, it's been years and I'm still mad.
but this
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are not this:
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basilone · 8 months
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@hesbuckcompton-baby tagged me in this one, ty! 💚I know a lot of folks have gone and done this one already, but please if you wanna do it consider yourself tagged right now! misc tag game!
favorite place in the world you’ve visited?
I really loved Prague when I went there for a citytrip aeons ago. The atmosphere of that city and its chill style really vibed with me. We’d rented an apartment, so it felt way less like visiting and more like living there for a couple of days. Remember just standing on the balcony in the very early morning watching the locals waking up and starting their day – that sense of utter inner tranquillity I had in that moment has really stuck with me.
something you’re proud of yourself for?
Uhm, I dropped out of school when I was fifteen. That part isn’t a point of pride, just a fact of life. And I had a lot of people pushing me this way and that way since, telling me I’d never make it and that I needed to sacrifice pretty much all of my mental health in order to fit the standard idea of what fifteen-year-olds should be doing with their time. I didn’t listen to them and started to carve out my own way instead. We’re almost twenty years on from my dropping out, and I can safely say this: I made it. I’ve got a great job I love, I’ve got people around me who lift me up, and my mental health is good enough for me to thrive 90% of the time. I have worked my ass off to get to where I am right now, and fought a long uphill battle to make life sing again. And it’s made me so resilient and so certain of myself, you know? I’m superproud of myself for sticking around in this world and making something awesome of my own path in it.
favorite books?
Rebecca (by Daphne du Maurier), Anna Karenina (by Tolstoy), Son of the Shadows (by Juliet Marillier), The Braided Path trilogy (by Chris Wooding), and Ash: A Secret History (by Mary Gentle).
something that makes your heart happy when thinking about it?
The prospect of curling up on the couch/in bed with a really good book for company. Can’t beat that!
favorite thing about your culture?
The way I almost went “which culture” lmao. 😂 Which really almost is an answer in itself, as I think Dutch culture is a collective of many different things? We’re traders/explorers by nature and our identity tends to slip into something pretty multifaceted. That said, I come from a specific part of this country where people still routinely speak a dialect and where the cultural events are a lot more in-your-face celebratory. My fave thing about this particular cultural offshoot, which I grew up in, is that you can play all the Dutch-language songs you could ever want without anyone bothering to so much as hum the tune… but the second you play a song in my dialect is the second you get the whole crowd singing along. Something about poetic expression? Yeah.
when did you join the hbo war fandom? what was the first show you watched?
In 2020! At least, that’s when I immersed into the fandom here on Tumblr and watched Band of Brothers/The Pacific back-to-back. Gen Kill was actually my first, though, as I’d read that book some years before and watched that one without fandom-dipping first.
have you read any of easy company’s books? if so, which ones were your favorite?
Yes! Bill & Babe’s book is so nice.
favorite hbo war character and your favorite moment with them?
*inhales* Speirs. Night time, speech time. Local forest cryptid says shady shit about war, more at eleven. I’ll never be normal about him so.
do you make content for any fandoms, if so; what sort of content?
Fun fact: I usually advocate against using the term ‘content’ when describing creative pursuits, for reasons I’m not gonna get into right now because that’s a rant for when I’m feeling particularly feisty. That said, I’m a writer and gifmaker. I’m more known for the latter, but the former is where my heart really lies.
favorite actor/actress and your favorite film of theirs?
I have a few favorites that’re way up there in terms of how mesmerizing they are, but I’m going to mention one that isn’t mentioned nearly enough: Tom Pelphrey. Truly one of the most captivating actors of our time. He tends to do TV shows more than movies – please, look up his monologue from Ozark if you have a moment – and so I get to rec Banshee to y’all while I’m at it. He’s amazing in that.
favorite quote/s that you wish to share with others?
Look, I’ve lived by the words “seize the day because tomorrow you might be dead” for years now. I think it originated in Buffy, but I’ve adopted it and it’s mine now. Life wisdom from yours truly, boom.
random fact your mutuals/followers don’t know about you?
I’m really into astronomy, outer space, etc.
if you’re a writer, do you need a beta reader?
I used to have beta readers back when I started writing, yeah, so I’m not gonna advocate against using one. Sometimes you need that extra pair of eyes, that nitpicking, that moment of being confronted with your own hubris. I’m my own beta at this point in my writing journey, but I still have a group of people around me who get first dibs on reading my stuff because I trust they’ll give it to me straight and pick out any lingering idiocies on my end. Which doesn’t stop me from shoving something onto the internet that has never seen an edit a day in its life, ahem.
three things that make you smile?
Put me near an alpaca and watch my face brighten, I dare ya. Also big fan of bookstores. Even bigger fan of AO3’s notification mails for fic reviews.
any nicknames you like?
Killy’s my most-used nickname, and we’re vibing!
list some people you love to see around on tumblr!
If I follow you, I love to see ya. That’s just how this thing works. But I’m gonna shout out my writing-and-life-support crew here because without them I would be nowhere much at all: @mercurygray, @junojelli, @shoshiwrites, @arethosedustyjumpwings. You lot are the real deal who’ve stuck to me like glue, and that means so much more than words can say.
what would you do during a zombie apocalypse?
Look, I have a zombie survival plan drawn up in my head but it essentially involves not being near people ever again. Because we’ve gone through a pandemic now and I don’t trust people to follow quarantine instructions or anything else that mildly inconveniences them. So. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, I’m sorry in advance, I’m gonna cry-scream-piñatapunch my way through any and all stupidity. If you see me running, please know I’m being chased because there’s no other way you’ll ever see me running voluntarily.
favourite movie?
Singin’ In The Rain. This needs no further explanation.
do you like horror movies?
Yes and no. I do not vibe with horror movies that get really gory for the sake of shock value. Can’t do it, won’t do it. But I’m a biiiiiiig fan of the final girl trope, I can’t go a day without pondering vampires, and I really love old horror movies and the progression of horror stories throughout the years. It’s fascinating to me to see how specific types of horror interact with the history/culture of that time it was created in: horror is never created in a vacuum, and its storytelling beats are so inspirational.
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hazardworld · 2 years
Text
Part 2 of Monster Town. Part 1
------
30 minutes later, Steve was snacking on another fish, watching Dustin pace as he angrily ranted in front of Robin and Eddie, who had tagged along purely because Robin needed a ride and Dustin wasn’t letting Steve "escape," even after Steve reassured him he wouldn’t try anything.
He would’ve tried something.
He wasn’t their problem to deal with.
"So you’re telling me not only has Steve kept his monster status from me, his bff for life, but he’s also risked his life because of his shitty parents telling him to restrict being himself?" Robin gave him a pointed glare as Dustin confirmed, whereas Eddie just raised an eyebrow, purple eyes laced with befuddlement.
"Guys, look, it’s not your problem! My parents are shitty, sure, but this isn’t an issue any of you should deal with, especially you, Eddie."
"Bullshit, Harrington." Steve’s brow furrowed as Eddie rubbed the side of his face, exasperated, with a small smile. "You and your stupid fucking martyr complex, wasn’t it you who told me I was part of the Party now, anyway—"
"And when one party member requires assistance, it is up to the other members of the party to provide that assistance!" Eddie raised his hand towards Dustin as if to say, 'exactly, you shithead,'
"See? You listened to my problems, now I’ll help you with yours, deal?" Steve nodded slowly, hugging his arms to his chest and looking away from the rest of the group. That didn’t last long though, as he was being yanked up by Dustin, and soon, pushed by Robin and Eddie, to where he quickly realized the pool was.
"Guys I literally just got dry—"
"Shut it Steve, I’m seeing your fish form, even if I have to possess you to get in there myself!" Steve let out a puff of air. It wasn’t like he was resisting, honestly, so before he got close enough where Dustin would fling him in, he spun himself to the side, making his friends all crash into the pool themselves.
Whoops.
So sad.
"STEVE!" Dustin’s voice was the first one he heard, angry, sure, but not in danger (poodles can swim, right?). He sighed, smiling lightly at his younger brother and best friends’ pissed faces. Robin shot him the finger, and he returned it right back.
"Fuc—St’ve!" And then there was Eddie, sputtering and splashing, and immediately, Steve went into panic mode, diving in and keeping the man up above the surface as he caught his breath.
"Eds, you ok?" Eddie nodded, coughing out water.
"Yeah, shit, I uh—" Eddie froze, eyes widened, staring at the pool floor. Steve raised an eyebrow, was there a bug, a spider or something? He looked down, and immediately realized Eddie’s distress: Steve’s tail had wrapped itself snugly around Eddie’s ankles, keeping Eddie afloat, but also 100% tied down.
Also, not to mention it was Steve’s tail, which was weird, because usually he had to contemplate the change before he made it, but this time he’d dove in and gone full form without even thinking.
And also, it was Steve’s tail.
On Eddie’s skin.
Fuck.
He started to loosen it, drifting away, but Eddie quickly put a hand on his shoulder, stopping him.
"No, no, it’s keeping me upright, keep it there, just…" Eddie bit his lip and looked away, Steve pretending not to notice the red blooming his cheeks, "you’re real pretty like this, Harrington. No wonder the girls find you so irresistible." Eddie finished off with his signature cocky smirk.
"Found, Munson. Stopped using sirenspeak after Hellkins round 1," Steve watched as not only Eddie, but Dustin and Robin’s eyes all widened.
"Holy shit, that’s why all your romance tips were such bull! Because you’ve never actually tried to swoon someone!" Steve sputtered and crossed his arms indignantly.
"Of—Of course I’ve tried to swoon someone, Henderson! I’ll have you know, I only used sirenspeak to get Nancy to notice me, not make her fall in love with me. That I did by hand. Besides, in a romantic context, it’s really only good for one-time things, the whole premise being to kill the person after, so…" He gave a weak smile, shrugging his shoulders.
"Yeah, you’re too sweet to kill people, Steve," Robin smirked, and Steve stuck his tongue out and gave her a little splash. She phased it out while putting up two middle fingers, and Steve rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, yeah. It’s also against the law, Rob, in case you were wondering." Robin laughed lightly as she flew herself up out of the pool, grabbing Steve’s towel from earlier. Dustin quickly followed up the pool steps and shook himself off, which left Eddie, who was still bonded to Steve by his ankles.
"So how is this gonna work, Stevie?" Steve smirked.
"I’ve got an idea," He laid his upper body back onto the surface of the water, and gently moved Eddie up and back until he hit the edge of the pool. "Let me know when the lip is on your kneecaps." Steve moved Eddie up and down until he was given an indication, and Eddie took the obvious hint to sit, and Steve finally unwrapped himself. He then moved himself next to Eddie, and crossed his arms over the edge, plopping his head on top.
"So, you never learned how to swim, eh Munson?" Eddie rolled his eyes, blushing in embarrassment. He crossed his own arms and kicked the water in front of him.
"Yeah, yeah. We didn’t have a local pool close enough for me to walk to in Indy, and by the time I got here it was kinda too old for someone to be using a floaty for reasons other than relaxing." Steve nodded.
"Fair, fair. I feel like it’s pretty useless If I try, but if you wanted, one of the other party members could come teach you here? I promise all the insults you get will be in good company." Eddie chuckled.
"So sure I’m that bad already, Stevie?" Steve felt his cheeks heat up the the nickname.
"No, but you’ve met Erica. That girl will take every excuse to tell you what you’re doing wrong." Eddie laughed. Steve decided he loved Eddie’s laugh.
"Damn straight, man." Eddie pooled some magic into a glowing purple ball, and tossed it in his hand. "That girl is a fucking powerhouse," The two sat in silence for a minute, and Steve turned his attention on the house, to where Dustin and Robin had both disappeared.
"You know," Eddie spoke up, and Steve immediately turned to him. His magic ball rested in his hand now, not being tossed. "I wasn’t lying when I said you looked real pretty like this, Harrington." He looked Steve up and down, and Steve gulped.
"Really?"
Eddie frowned, tossing the ball once before it disappeared into his hand, the magic returning to its source.
"Aren’t you supposed to be? Catching the attention of humans to devour and what not?"  Steve chuckled and shook his head.
"No, dude. I had to explain this all to Dustin before you got here, but like, sirens aren’t entirely meant to look pretty, we’re meant to kill. Mermaids are the pretty ones." Eddie hummed, his frown forming into a smile showing off his own fangs, glinting in the sun.
"Well you look plenty pretty to me, Stevie." Eddie leaned over and ruffled his hair, making Steve’s face grow hot. Before he could respond, however, the sliding door opened up to a sauntering Dustin and Robin.
"We have a way to try and get you to a natural form, Steve!" Dustin’s voice boomed across the pool deck. "Monsters who shift forms like you and me usually shift out of fear!" Steve raised an eyebrow.
"Dustin, you and I both know that’s not tr—" Dustin grinned.
"Just get on out of the pool, Steve!" Steve groaned, shifting back to his bipedal form as he climbed up and out next to Eddie, who stood as Steve’s more aquatic features faded away. Steve noted his second set of fangs stayed, as if they had already gotten used to themselves being there in the two times he’d moved them there that day.
Suddenly, Robin disappeared, and within minutes, Steve was tossed and tugged around blindly. Ahh, so Robin was trying to spook him into shifting? Two could play at that game.
He felt the magic rush into his throat as he started to sing to her. He was only singing for friendship, not romance, since romance wouldn’t’ve worked on her. As the notes kept coming out, the forces gripping his arms started to loosen and still as Robin slowly took her corporeal form again, enamored with his voice.
He swayed along to the song a bit as he willed Robin to dance with him, and they did for a few seconds before he stopped and booped her forehead with a finger. He felt the magic drain back down to wherever a siren’s magic resided, and Robin groaned and rubbed her head. Steve looked around to find Dustin and Eddie gaping.
"Did you—Did you just—" Steve laughed lightly.
"Yeah, Dust, I just used sirenspeak. But in my defense, as the person who taught you to form shift, fear is never the best way to shift! I know what I’m doing, Henderson." Dustin rolled his eyes.
"Says the person who didn’t even know they were binding their form, Steve!" Steve passed Dustin the finger, and he stuck out his tongue.
"I feel…like I got hit by a bus. Did I survive?" Robin grunted out, pressing two fingers into the gap between her eyebrows.
"You did, Robin," Robin groaned disappointedly as Steve turned his attention to Eddie. "Eddie, I have some of your pain potion things in my bathroom. Think you could help Robin?" Eddie nodded once, and ushered Robin back inside with calm whispers.
"So what are you gonna do, Steve? Figure it out yourself? Because I don’t think that’s been working out for as of late." Dustin panned his hand from Steve’s head to his feet, frowning.
"It’ll work just fine now that I know what’s wrong!" Steve snapped back.
"You’ve been binding for so long you might not know how to get it out on your own!"
"I think I can do things without a idiot 15-year-old nerd trying to baby me every step of the way!"
Oooh, too far. Even though he tried not to show it, Dustin’s ears flattened against his skull and his tail tucked tight between his legs. Steve sighed.
"Sorry, pup. That went too far." Dustin perked back up, though cautious.
"No, no you’re right. Sometimes I forget that not everyone needs my help with everything. That was my bad, Steve."
"Still shouldn’t’ve snapped at you. It was bitchy and unkind." Dustin smirked.
"You can make up for it with a hug." Steve snorted and opened his arms. Obviously, Dustin could get a hug from him anytime. Not only was companionship and touch something instinctually needed for werewolves, but Dustin was his little brother. Obviously, Steve was gonna let Dustin hug him whenever he wanted.
"Did you two finally make up?" Steve heard after a few minutes, and the two released. Standing in the sliding glass doorway was Eddie, with Robin behind him, hands on her hips. "I don’t think either of us would make for good mediators." Steve rolled his eyes and ruffled Dustin’s hair, making the kid laugh and bat his hand away.
"No, neither of you would," Steve grinned at his friends, "Eddie, you’d just avoid the issue and move on, and Robin, you’d get too anxious about it to even get involved,"
Eddie shrugged, and Robin sighed. Steve was very emotionally intelligent; he couldn’t tell if it came with the territory of being a siren or if it was just him, but if there was anything he was good at, it was reading people’s emotions.
And like, swimming or something.
"I can’t help it, I’m skittish towards conflict!" Eddie grinned, raising his hands in surrender.
"I’d like to prove you wrong but the only rebuttal I can think of is about Hellkins 4 and I’d really rather not think about that right now," Dustin commented, and the atmosphere of the room changed instantly. "Can we change the subject?"
"Let’s talk about Steve!" Robin supplied after a minute, "We don’t know much about sirens besides the whole," she made rapid circles with her hand, "shifting and sirenspeak thing. What else can you do?"
Part 3!
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marzzthehuman · 3 months
Text
(putting this up here as well in the tags. tw vent)
(pointing at my reflection in the mirror) you wonder why you get so upset when someone tells you something isnt real. you wonder.
ok storytime.
in 6th grade this person i was friends with would just. tell me that they weren’t real. they would be like ‘ohhh im not real youre imagining me’ and shit like that.
this obviously scared the shit outta me because i was fucking eleven! and i thought this person was so cool! i looked up to this person! (even though they were only a month older than me) i considered this person my best friend! (at the time i dont know if they thought of me being their best friend. tbh i was really fucking annoying but.) and them telling me this shit about them not being real actually makes me so angry to think about now! i would say ‘oh but i’ve hugged you before’ and they would say shit like ‘nope you imagined that you didnt actually do that’ like obviously they were lying and i knew they were fucking with me but it still freaked me the fuck out! i hate ‘what ifs’ !! (well. it depends. like this type of what if. not like ‘what if akita neru was the one that hypnotized miku and teto in mesmerizer’ because thats a whole other thing! sorry for the random example i didnt know what else to do) (i would also say things like ‘other people see you too’ and i dont remember what their response to that was)
once we were at the after school thing we would go to and they disappeared into thin air! and i was scared! and obviously i texted them like ‘where did you go’ and they responded like ‘oh i’ve disappeared. i was never real. im gone forever’ or some shit like that. i was so scared and i was bawling my eyes out! of course they reappeared and i was crying so hard
and im so fucking pissed about this! and im pissed i was still friends with this person until the summer before 8th grade!
like obviously they were eleven as well but this is just ugh. no! don’t do this!
they eventually stopped doing this (thank god) but it still affected me! DON’T FUCKING DO THIS!! this shit is not fucking funny or cool at all btw. if youre reading this please never do this to anyone ever.
ok thanks for coming to my rant i needed to get that off my mind
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inukag · 1 year
Note
Hello, so I'm not heterosexual (I'm ace) and as you can tell I do like one of those ships in the poll. I thought your language was very harmful. Now, I'm not here to say those characters are nice people but that doesn't mean their fans like them because they are "hetero" and just like a hot guy. They are good characters and had cool dynamics with Kagome (yes that's subjective and you might disagree with it but some people did enjoy it). I do agree that Sango should have been on the poll but there are legit reasons people enjoy darker ships or enemies to lovers trope, they can be engaging to some. So to dismiss it as just "hetero girls liking a hot guy" is very bad. The reason I'm sending you this ask is because I think you are a good person and might recieve well my comment. I considered sending an anon but I wanted you to "see" me as we talk and I hope I don't get any harassment over this from others. Anyway, thank you for reading.
First of all thank you for sending this message non-anonymously! I know it can be stressful but it is definitely better for discussions. If I see anyone sending you hate over this I will fight them personally.
When I said “this fandom is painfully straight” I did not mean “every single person who likes these ships is straight”, that would be ridiculous. But it IS a straight ship. My point is that gay ships are almost never taken seriously in this fandom, as shown by the fact that people ship Kagome with all the male characters she canonically doesn’t like before shipping her with girls that she actually likes. I find that sad. Literally the only gay ship in this fandom that has a sizable fanbase is Inu/sess, but that’s another can of worms.
I’m not here to change anyone’s mind about sess/kag or kog/kag, I’m very much a ‘ship and let ship’ person. Those ships have existed for years so I know very well that me saying “Kagome Higurashi would never canonically love these guys” is not going to change anyone’s mind. So I’ll spare you the whole rant but I’ll say that I’ve read some sess/kag stuff (Raindrops and other fanfics I found years ago) and I’ve never seen Sesshomaru portrayed as anything other than a kind, suave, gentleman who saves Kagome from Inuyasha the toxic, two timer. His canonical racism and lack of empathy for others is gone. So I have a hard time believing people when they tell me they love the ship because it’s a “sexy villain/heroine, enemies to lovers ships” lol. Anyway like I said, I’m not going to change your mind and you won’t change mine, so no need to argue about this.
Also for added context regarding the “gay ships aren’t taken seriously” issue, a couple weeks ago a bunch of people on Twitter (inukag shippers) made tweets saying they were “disgusted” by the fact that many people headcanon Moroha to be a lesbian. That her blushing at and complimenting girls is “not evidence that she’s gay” and that the “real canon” is that she will end up with Koga’s son (who doesn’t even exists in any Inuyasha media!!!). It’s not an isolated issue with Sesshomaru or Koga fans, as I pointed out the people doing this were inukag shippers and they were called out by other inukag shippers. This fandom as a whole is just not the most friendly when it comes to lgbt+ stuff.
So yeah, I have nothing else to add. I don’t see how my language was harmful if I’m being honest. Regardless of people’s own sexual/romantic orientations this fandom mostly talk about and support straight ships. This isn’t really a call to action either, I’m not telling people what to ship, I was just jokingly pointing that out and hoping that next time people would just consider the fact that gay ships exists as well.
Thanks again for the message and I’ll take this time to remind everyone following me that I use the tag #<ship/character>-critical tag when I criticize stuff, so you can blacklist that if you follow me and don’t want to see negativity about characters or ships that you love. I didn’t tag my first reblog of the poll so that’s my bad, I’ll go back and fix that.
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someoneimsure · 2 years
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Hello.. I dunno where to start with this but I need some advice if you’re willing to give it. When I just joined the site around a year ago, I had nooo clue about internet safety or warning signs or even what an anti or a pro shipper was. I barely knew how tumblr worked basically. I had always identified as asexual after hearing its definition from a friend a few years ago, so I didn’t know that would be a problem on the internet, either (spoiler alert: it was) basically when I was very new to both tumblr and the whole fandom experience I kind of accidentally fell into a really, reallyyyy bad, toxic subsection of fans because those were the blogs recommended to me by tumblr 😭 none of them identified them as antis (didn’t know what that was) but said if you were proship not to follow them, which I also didn’t know what that was, so I just followed them anyway. When I had like ~35 followers some biggish account follows me back and starts acting veryyyy buddy-buddy. Sliding into messages, trying to pressure me for personal information like my name, age, and selfie. I said a fake name and my real age but refused a selfie because of internet safety and made me feel guilty for it.. they also reblogged a bunch of reblog bait CONSTANTLY like ‘what color are your eyes?’ ‘What hair texture are you?’ ‘What’s your skin color?’ And tagged me in it. I was dumb and participated in it but now I feel sick that they were manipulatively trying to figure out what I looked like. They also tagged me in several little ask games where you also tag your other mutuals at the end of it, that will be important later. Basically, they literally OUT OF THE BLUE went on several long, longggg, vitriolic rants about how much they absolutely despised asexual people, how we are single handedly oppressing gay people and trying to ban gay sex, how we want to be oppressed so badly, how straight we ‘basically’ are, how much asexual headcanons annoyed and disgusted them in fandom, etc. mind you, I had my sexuality in my bio at the time. I was very meek and naive (this was only a year ago lmao how times change) and decided to respond to the rants in the morning about how they made me feel. Went to bed, woke up, found out I had been softblocked on the false assumption that I was a dirty hidden proshipper because I had reblogged from someone with a username like antis solve nothing or something idk, again didn’t know what that was but actually was following them for their niche fandom meta, I learned later what the whole fandom shipping stuff was and don’t feel one way or another about it but am starting to think it was just an excuse to softblock me since she knew I was asexual lmao. Also how do I know she softblocked me for this? She made a post about it and called me a cockroach which… wow, where have I heard that one before… (I’m Jewish btw so if I’ve become accustomed to being compared to a bug) But this is all just backdrop. I blocked them and moved on with my life because tbh I don’t really give a fuck one way or another, but I started to receive death threats periodically from makeshift side blogs, occasionally from anonymous as well. They always say the same thing and I only get them once in a great while, so just going off that, there’s no way I’d be able to find out who actually sent them… except that the death threats also targeted my mutuals. Specifically, the mutuals who I tagged in the little ask games I was asked to participate in by the toxic mutual. So that’s why I think it’s them, and it’s honestly scary how far they’ve gone to circumvent my various blocks (I must’ve blocked them like 11 different times now) and ig. I dunno what to do. Or even if it is actually them. But I have a strong suspicion it is. What do you think?
I am so sorry you experienced that anon! I agree with your suspicion. This is very typical anti behavior. You’ve accidentally become their hyperfixation, and now they are stalking you.
There are ways to solve this problem without deleting your blog, but your friends might have to change their urls so they are no long being linked back to the ask game. (I assume the stalker in this scenario has reblogged the ask game already. Unfortunately, your solution is going to be complicated because changing your url will not prevent them from finding you.)
For all of your friends, I recommend blocking the stalker, changing your urls, and then all of you doing this:
Turn off anon. You can do this from the app and from the web browser. In the latter, it’s located under Edit Appearance.
Turn on invisibility. This is located in the web browser version under Edit Appearance at the way bottom.
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Wait a month before switching back.
This is the bare minimum measure to prevent and avoid being harassed on tumblr. It is not foolproof, but it will force the cowards to think twice before harassing you. If they continue to harass you, they won’t be on anon when they do it and it will give you more credibility when you report them to tumblr for spam and harassment. (Though I don't believe I have ever seen the staff do anything about it... hellsite <3.)
There is a more complicated way to solve this problem, but it’s a headache. It involves deleting your blog.
If the above doesn't stop them from harassing you, or worse they come back to harassing you after a month, you may have to delete your blog. I would need to do a little more research before I can say how to do so without losing your url. Some sources say you can't use your url after 24 hours of changing or deleting a blog, but that has not been my experience with switching accounts. As far as I know, you will have to be very vigilant and fast to grab your url again. I am hoping to find some way to avoid that though.
Fortunately, tumblr has an export/import ability on the web browser so at least your posts can be saved and recovered. The same cannot be said for followers, following, and liked posts, so if you must take this option you will need to at least save the names of all your mutuals so you can follow them when your blog is up again.
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dani-ya-dig · 2 years
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Ughhh I’m seeing posts about the new Geordi audio and now I’m scaredddddd
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ihavenocluedude · 2 years
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Lost in admiration
Eddie Munson x Gender Neutral!reader
Link to reading this on Ao3    Link to my main masterlist 
A/N - I don’t mention any pronouns as far as I know so I think I can call this gender neutral but what the heck do I know. Title sort of taken from the song Head over Heels by Tears For Fears. Although not really inspired by it. Except maybe the vibes?? I’ve seriously been working on this for days now and my brain is beat. I am so in love with Eddie Munson though so it’s worth it. 
Sort of inspired by these two tags I wrote in a reblog of an Eddie Gifset :
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Warnings - Swearing (a lot of internal anxious swearing especially I guess but also in dialogue, which is also mostly in the anxious dialogues), crushing on someone for years, mentions of drugs and alcohol, drinking, I’m kind of scared this is OOC... so like hoping it isn’t but warning that it might be
Word Count - 5.7k
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”So, you’re having a party on Friday?” This had been going on for 3 days now, the near-constant questioning. 
Several people coming up to you at any time they themselves figured was a good time to ask this very question. And now even fucking popular douchebag star of the basketball team Jason Carver was speaking to you. Seemingly trying to work some sort of charm that you bet several of the cheerleaders had fallen victim to.
”There’s no party.”
”That’s not what the entire school is saying y’know? Parents gone, a whole house to yourself, don’t be selfish.” As if any of that would change your mind to actually liking parties and wanting to have a bunch of strangers in your home.
”I know.” You chuckled sarcastically before continuing ”But, y’know… no one in this school except for me actually lives there so, it’s my right to decide. No party.”
”So… no party?”
”Exactly. Spread the word, jock.” Thankfully, he stepped away from your lunch table after that. ”I hate this.”
”You don’t hate this.”
”Robin. I hate this. Someone literally almost stopped me in the grocery store yesterday, with my mom next to me! They’re not even away yet. And it wasn’t even me who told the masses that I’d be home alone this weekend.” You ranted in anguish before letting out a small groan, your volume rising slightly during your rant, making several of the students in the cafeteria look over at the two of you.
”I am sorry for telling Steve…”
”I know.”
”I didn’t think he’d-”
”Robin, it’s okay. It’s fine. It would’ve spread around anyway. Apparently, Steve was not the first to start spreading the word. Someone heard us talking the other day and didn’t hear all of it, so they assumed, like they always do.”
Your parents had told you the weekend before they were going to be away. Told you that they trusted you not to do anything stupid, have at most just three friends over, and to try not to mess up the house whilst they were gone. They hadn’t told and taught you the wise lesson that it’s wise not to mention this information in school or to tell your best friend not to tell anyone including her still somewhat new friend Steve Harrington.
Formerly known as King Steve. More recently known as the guy who had a thousand dates lined up but nowhere to take them to. Hawkins wasn’t exactly the most… eventful place unless you count the horrifying events that you’d thankfully and unthankfully gotten to know about through Robin’s rants to you about it after she got pulled into it all.
And Steve couldn’t possibly bring all his dates to the makeout spots like Lovers’ Lake or Skull Rock. No no no, that would be completely ridiculous. So when he heard Robin mentioning you being home alone for the weekend, aka a possibility for a party he could take a date to, he’d just ran off to the phone to start calling numbers. He isn’t the guy to force a party upon you but… he ’accidentally’ was anyhow.
”Would it be that bad if you had a party?”
”Are you offering to clean up the house with me the day after?” You asked mostly sarcastically. Even with trying to turn everyone and anyone away from the idea that you were having a party… It was sort of starting to grow on you anyway.
The ’classic’ high school experience was just there right in front of you, why not appreciate it? Besides if you didn’t you’d have to open your door every five minutes on Friday and tell them ’no, there isn’t a party here, listen for a second… you hear that? complete silence’ anyway by the way this had spread… so why not instead actually just let them in.
”Sure.”
”Really?”
”Why not?”
”Am I really going to have a party just because of group pressure?” Robin’s smile was ridiculously infectious and even as you said it you felt your lips quirking up into a small smile.
”Not just. He would totally come.” AND she’d won you over completely. You knew exactly who she was talking about, because who else would she be talking about with such inflection in her voice.
Before you knew it you had stood up on the lunch table dramatically as he himself has done before. Clearing your voice in a showy way before almost screaming to the cafeteria ”I CHANGED MY MIND! MY HOUSE THIS FRIDAY, PEOPLE!”
You should’ve known to regret those sentences by the way the basketball team table started cheering. Fuck. But then whilst you were getting down off the table, desperately averting your eyes from the popular table, your eyes just quickly locked on him for a second. The usual jean vest & leather jacket duo, and the Hellfire club shirt proudly presented under them. But more importantly, his eyes on you too.
”Well, that was nice.”
”Do you think he’ll still come if Jason and his league of basketball douchebags come?”
You knew that he wasn’t that into parties in general. But he showed up sometimes. You weren’t really a party person yourself but if Eddie ’The Freak’ Munson came to the party, you’d hear about it the day after usually. Some of them he just attended because he knew he could sell a lot, bringing along his little lunch box-y thingy.
But… in this situation, you also sort of had a contact that could perhaps convince him to come. Hopefully.
The video store wasn’t necessarily your favorite place in Hawkins, but it wasn’t all that bad. You’d hang out with Robin whilst she worked sometimes, which led to actually getting to know Harrington a bit. There were movies galore, you had a pretty good friend discount, and Robin would tell you when something you’d maybe want to rent or buy would come in. But none of those reasons were why you entered the video store along with Robin right after school that afternoon. Almost rushing up to Steve Harrington, a somewhat pleading look in your eyes already.
”I need you to pass on a message. Well, not a message per se… I just-”
”Out with it.”
”I want you to make Dustin convince Eddie Munson to go to my party. Without making it all- fucking- obvious.” You were jittery, nervous, and still just a tad on edge from your earlier announcement at lunch. And Steve’s immediate reaction to start laughing at what you just said did not help your on edge behavior. ”Steve, I’m serious.”
”Eddie ’The Freak’ Munson?” He scoffed once he’d calmed down his laughing enough to get words out, but then turned quiet for a few seconds as he saw your anxiousness. ”Are you… No way! You’re into Freaky Eddie?”
”Steve! Shut up!” You muttered with wide eyes, quickly glancing around the store to thankfully see no customers your age in the store at the moment. ”Can you do it?”
”It’s up to Dustin but I can ask him.”
— ~~~ —
All in all… it wasn’t a big deal. The thing about Eddie, your thing for Eddie. But it had started years ago.
It could all be traced back to middle school. But you wouldn’t call what you felt back then a crush. It was more like…  an admiring kind of intimidation and jealousy.
He was just so himself.
You felt like you were still deciding if you were an actual person and there he was so… fully formed. He’d already started his rock band with his friends, been so passionate about music it almost made you sick, and had a sick buzzcut at the time. And he was older. He seemed so mature and grown sometimes although he was probably nothing of the kind.
It wasn’t like you ever talked to him, the intimidation was just… too much. He went off to high school whilst you were stuck in middle school for two more years without him and by then he’d slipped away from your mind a little. Well until you saw him again at least.
Once you caught up to high school with him he was in his junior year. Just two more years until you’d probably never see him again, at least that’s what you thought.
Freshman year was… easy. It wasn’t quite the same awestruck admiration you’d had for him when you were younger. And you hadn’t yet quite seen him like you would come to see him the year after. Once entering your sophomore year, the year of his first senior year, you realized that the feelings you felt towards him had definitely developed more… romantically?
Without ever speaking to the guy, without ever actually interacting with him, it had still developed.
He had started growing out his hair from the buzzcut the year before, the shaggy curly hair growing quickly and just almost reaching his shoulders at that point. And you noticed that you’d never really noticed his eyes before. For a guy who seemed so unreserved and called a freak, his eyes were just really calm in a way. Yet so expressive, warm, and just beautiful. And although you’d never really mention it to anyone, not even Robin, he was adorable. And hot.
But you had to be honest with yourself after all. That was his senior year. He’d leave Hawkins and probably never come back after that, at least that’s what you’d heard the plan was. And you were… glad.
Maybe you could stop feeling like some school girl with a silly crush on the ’bad boy’ of the school. Maybe you could stop feeling as if he was just everywhere you went in Hawkins, just because your brain seemed to feel like it meant more seeing him than seeing any other schmuck in this school or person in this world. Maybe you could stop fantasizing about joining his club just to get the courage to actually talk to him.
Then he was held back.
And it all just snowballed. The feelings grew more intense and testified to the fact that you really never were going to speak to him out of your own volition. Not even if you tried joining The Hellfire club, because how on earth were you going to speak to him whilst under the pressure of the game too?
And now you had agreed to host a party partially because Robin told you he’d come. It wasn’t even guaranteed. It was just speculation and your heart jumped out of your chest and told your brain it was a good idea, even when in afterthought it felt like the most stupid thing you’d ever done.
— ~~~ —
You’d thought about if you’d actually get the courage to speak to Eddie at the party. Would what people call ’liquid courage’ actually give you courage? You weren’t a party person yourself, you didn’t know the proper etiquette, and you definitely didn’t feel like you had whatever you thought you needed to speak to Eddie Munson. Which felt silly considering Freshmen speak to him daily.
You hadn’t ever talked to him thus far, why would it happen at the party?
This was the question you were both asking yourself as much as you also were protesting it. You obviously wanted to speak to him. And hey, why not? It would be more casual at the party, perhaps liquid courage is actually courage, and hey maybe unicorns do exist?
It all just felt so ridiculous that you questioned why you were thinking about it this much anyway. A loop in your head with the intermittent ’you should think about all the other great things about this party!’. And still, it was on your mind the whole Thursday school day.
”Hey!-shit. Hello?” The question had been clouding your mind enough to first not even notice the person who’d called after you. ”Can you stop walking please?” Or at least seemed to be calling for you. You turned around before answering, hoping to see that it wasn’t yet another person asking about the party and instead someone calling after someone else.
And there he was. Seemingly actually calling for you.
Taking a breath and clearing your throat before answering, ”Y-Yeah?” if you hadn’t it probably would’ve sounded more like a whisper.
”You’re having a party tomorrow right?” A quick nod in response as you don’t fully trust your words, barely even trusting your facial expressions in this moment. ”Could we talk for a minute?”
”Yeah sure absolutely.” You were talking to him. What the fuck was going on.
”Not… in school preferably.” He clarified, hoping that you’d get what he was signifying. You gave a slower nod before gesturing with your thumb over your shoulder towards the way you were headed out of school, him giving you a nod back to say that he’d follow you. Walking up beside you as you then walked side by side through the halls.
”I could… I could drive you home or something and we could talk about it on the way?” He suggested sort of stumbling through the sentence, your shy and quiet demeanor because of being flustered evidently being somewhat contagious.  
”Uhm… well, my friend is supposed to pick me up. But… yeah sure?
”Oh, I should’ve known, you can still go with… them. We could just talk tomorrow?”
”No, it’s fine, really.” You insisted whilst simultaneously trying as hard as possible not to constantly look up at him. To get to see his eyes up close or see if he had that smile you’d only get to truly see when he was making a spectacle of himself somewhere in the school. Instead, you allowed yourself a few short glances before averting your eyes to the way you were going.
Whispers from other people in the hall somehow already started going around about the two of you as they saw you. But soon enough Eddie’s voice cut through them as he spoke to you again.
”So, Steve right?”
”Huh?”
”The friend picking you up?”
”How’d you know?” Your eyebrows furrowed slightly in response although quickly trying to unfurrow them to not seem as desperate for the answer as you actually felt. Running your fingers anxiously over your forehead lightly before running your hand over your hair and then dropping it to your side again.
”Well he picks you up sometimes right?”
”Well yeah but-”
”And I know Dustin who knows Steve so…”
”Right. Of course.” Somehow it had never truly come up in your mind that Eddie could know who you were. That he had heard about you from Dustin or others, that he could’ve had thought about you too whenever you two saw each other around Hawkins the last couple of years. ”I just have to tell Robin that I’m going with you instead and then we can go I guess.” You sort of sighed out when the two of you stepped out of the school, trying to take deep breaths but still feeling like you were somehow failing.
Once outside Robin was thankfully the first thing you saw. Not that she was close by but rather that your eyes knew just as well as your brain to seek her out when anxious. Your safe person.
”I’ll just go wait in my van.”
”I- I don’t know which one’s yours.” It wasn’t completely true, but it wasn’t false either. You’d seen him arrive at school once or twice at the same time that you did and although you had picked up that it was a van… you’d mostly been focused on the driver rather than the car or really trying not to look.
But even though you knew you’d embarrass yourself more by trying to find it later without knowing what it looks like… you found yourself regretting saying that anyway. Because right after you said it, he got closer to you, made sure he was on the same eye-level as you, and then pointed it out before noting; ”It’s… that one.”
Shivers. down. your. spine. Mouth slacking slightly open before quickly snapping it shut. Breathing in deeply through your nose, although regretting that instantly as well.
He was barely doing anything but being somewhat close to you, body heat radiating from him, his arm pointing over one of your shoulders towards the van that sat just a small distance away, his head lingering quite closely by yours on your other side.
But considering you’d pined for him for over two years, been admiring him, and been intimidated by him for even longer, it felt like… nothing else. Not to talk about the fact that you got a heavy dose of what he smells like, heavenly by the way, when you breathed in through your nose.
”I- I see it. I think. I’ll be right over. I just- see you later.” You managed to get out before directing your eyes back to Robin and walking quickly towards her. Her eyes were wide and already looking at you, definitely having seen what just happened, your eyes instantly shooting daggers back at her as you knew that Eddie would be able to see her expression if he looked over.
And although she was your safe person you once again couldn’t stop the incessant overthinking going on in your head as you walked towards her.
Eddie must think that you’re terrified of him or something by the way you’ve averted your eyes, stumbled and stuttered your way through the conversation, and the anxious behavior overall. OR he knows, he’s noticed and he knows. Either way; Fuck fuck fuckity fuck.
”So, what the hell was that?” Robin asked a teasing grin on her face that probably wouldn’t stop even if you begged her not to smile like that ’because it’s making it obvious’.
”I- uhm… he wants… Eddie- he wants to talk about the party, I think. He’s sort of driving me home.”
”What?”
”You can literally not make a big deal out of this right now, I’m freaking out and he’s probably looking at us or something. I can’t look-” You started ranting, your last few words catching Robin’s attention as she decided to glance his way instead, your hand immediately going up to her jaw to push her eyes back to you ”Robin! You can’t either, are you crazy?”
”Somewhat.”
”What the fuck do I do.”
”You think I know anything about that?”
”I don’t know! Where the fuck is Steve when we need him?” And almost as if summoning a demon, you apparently summoned Steve by just saying his name, his car rolling into the nearest parking spot to you and Robin before quickly half getting out one foot in the car and the other on the asphalt. ”Oh, thank fuck.”
”How did you do that?” Robin chuckled before looking over at Steve. ”Hi Dingus. Look like it’s just going to be the two of us.”
”Really? You don’t need a ride?” Steve asked, directing the first question to Robin before looking at you and tilting his head the way it feels like he always does when asking something.
”Getting a ride by Eddie Munson.” Robin answered, louder than needed and with the same teasing grin as earlier. Throwing her stuff in the back seat before assuming the Steve Harrington Position of one foot in and one foot out.
”I thought you’d never spoken to him before?” Steve questioned, thankfully much softer and not as loud as Robin. You walked closer to the car hoping that fewer people might be interested in the talk the three of you were having and not having to talk as loudly. Or at least not as loudly as Robin thought she needed to for you to hear from that small distance away.
”I haven’t. Not until today, he was sort of waiting on me outside the classroom by the end of my lesson I guess?” And it still felt like one of your dreams or fantasies, although with a lot more anxiety.
”And you’re getting in a car with him?”
”I trust him. I mean hasn’t he like driven Dustin sometime or something? He trusts him too! But uhm… I need… Like- What the hell do I do? Like how do I act?”
”Why are you asking me?”
”Because you know about these sorts of things! I’ve seen you at the video store. C’mon now Harrington, lay it on me, tell me how I’m supposed to act.”
”Haven’t you been there during all the talks we’ve had with Robin about her crush? Be yourself!”
”Yeah fine whatever, but you can’t just do that, right?” The former king of Hawkins High had to have some sort of advice other than the totally cliché thing that Robin had said first.
”What, do you mean flirting?”
”I guess?” Although the nervous feelings from before weren’t gone, you found yourself a lot calmer around Robin and Steve. Eyes not averting as much except looking over at Robin from time to time and once or twice glancing over at the van to see that it’s still there. Just looking at the hulk of the van though and not even daring to look through the front window of the car in fear that you’ll lose all your calm within just a microsecond or something.
”Listen. Calm down. Go sit down in his van and just talk for now. You can save the flirting for when you’re drunk, it’s easier.”
”That last bit sounds sort of like bad advice, but what the hell.”
Robin and Steve drove off and you made your way over to the car, sparing one single glance through the front window to make sure it was Eddie sitting there, which thankfully it was. And thankfully you didn’t lose your complete cool by just looking at him, progress.
”Hi. Sorry that took a while.”
”It’s okay.” Eddie’s answer was short and simple, his voice as smooth in tone as you’d always thought it was. ”That conversation looked intense?” shit
”Uhm… yeah, no. It was nothing.”
”So, not about me?” Eddie questioned that wonderful smile on his face, obviously lightly teasing you. Testing the waters.
”No, no. About the party.” You chuckled back in response with a shake of your head, it wasn’t technically a lie, the party was sort of mentioned. Steve had told you to leave the flirting to the party. Eddie still hadn’t started the car. The two of you talking in the quiet of his van although with the echo of the conversations of students getting out of school just outside.
”I know Harrington doesn’t like me.”
”Harrington doesn’t know you.” It came rushed out before you could even stop yourself, ”Not that- not that I do… I just-”
”No, I get it. That’s… sweet.” Finally, albeit your feelings were a bit mixed over it, he started the car and started getting out of the parking lot, driving out into Hawkins. ”So, about the party. I was thinking that I’m gonna go.”
”Great.”
”Yeah?”
”Do you want to come?”
”Do you want me to come?”
”Yeah. Sure.”
”Could I- You do know about my ’part-time job’, right?” You didn’t know where to look but looking over at him, you found your eyes meeting his just as he was gesturing the quotation marks with his right hand, nodding in response once again. ”Can I sell at your party?”
”Why not? I won’t be- But I don’t mind.” You explained with a shrug and a shake of your head, once again stumbling through your words. Kept your eyes on him for a little while, appreciating the moment whilst you could, and finding out that he glanced over ever so often. But when looking out the front window you realized you were getting pretty close to home. ”Do you know where I live?”
”Everyone’s sort of been shouting your address all over the school the last few days. It would be hard not to.”
”That’s really… uncomfortable honestly. The whole thing of everyone knowing where you live? I felt pretty much invisible before all of this.” You winced, had people at school really been that vocal about a party? ”I won’t get like… weird shit happening to me right?”
”They’ll probably forget as soon as they’re there.”
”Really?”
”Absolutely, you’ll be safe.”
— ~~~ —
”So this is going well so far, right?” You asked with your back leaned up against a wall in the entry hallway next to Robin, drink in your hand. The door stood wide open and ready for the next horde of teenagers to come in and crowd your living room, kitchen, and whatever else they wanted it seemed. ”I mean… we’ve got a crowd, Steve seems pretty happy over there with Heidi or whoever, they all seem to enjoy the music? And I’m like… tipsy for the first time in a long time.”
”You’re past tipsy, but yes. Everything seems pretty good. Except for one thing. You haven’t talked to him.”
”I said hi?” You defended yourself. But you couldn’t even defend yourself that much cause you knew you wanted to, you needed to. If you had been sober you would’ve felt completely ready to go somewhere else and hide from the situation, but the drinks had pulled something out of you. Neediness, something you had both sort of hoped for and dreaded.
Neediness that made your eyes linger on him every time you peeked around the party, neediness that felt like it was pulling at your heart, neediness that felt like it was pulsing through your blood.
”Dude, go and talk to him.”
”Sure, fuck it. Wish me luck.”
”Good luck!” Robin chuckled and gently pushed your shoulder as you separated yourself from the wall.
The living room was completely crowded, just as expected. What you hadn’t expected, however, was the way most of the people in the living room still hung out in their cliques. Sure they weren’t all in their separate little groups, some were on what had become the dance floor not giving a shit, some were playing drinking games whilst sitting on the couch, and all in all, it wasn’t that bad.
But the basketball team was almost standing in a line, all in their letterman jackets as if the jacket was a uniform. Stood all together as if they were trying to intimidate the whole party. Meanwhilst, the seniors of the group they call freaks were all spread across the room, none of them in their hellfire shirts.
”That looks weird, right?” An icebreaker was always a reliable way to enter a conversation. At least that’s what you hoped for when you came up to Eddie, gesturing towards the team. ”It looks almost horror movie-esque.”
”Yeah definitely.” He laughed out, and just like you and Robin had leaned against a wall in the hallway, you leaned against a wall with Eddie Munson. What you hoped was one of the normal positions at a party that wasn’t sitting or being in the way of others. ”You’re okay with them being here though?”
”Yeah it’s fine. At least I know who they are, if any of them breaks a lamp… I know whose parents to call.” Popping the ’p’ and sighing a little before averting your eyes from the team and instead to Eddie who definitely seemed to be in a laughing mood. Looking away from him a second later though when you realized that you currently couldn’t look at his eyes this closely without your mouth just slightly opening. ”I’m not like that uncomfortable with it but… there are a lot of people here that I feel like I don’t know.”
”You know me.”
”Do I?” It felt like it was just minutes ago when you had sort of excused yourself by saying that you didn’t know him in his car.
”Eddie Munson, Freak of Hawkins High. Nice to meet you.” He stretched out his hand with a smug grin on his face. With a playful tone in his voice and expressing a demeanor you’d only seen from afar before. You took his hand without much of a second thought but almost froze up when you could feel the rings on his fingers. The rings almost shocked you as if something knocked on your brain and just reminded you that this was Eddie Munson. The Eddie Munson.
”Oh, you’re that guy, well of course.” You teased with a chuckle, playing along.
”Told you that you knew me!” He chuckled and clapped his hands together once after your little shake. ”Y’know Dustin was talking so much about the party I thought he was gonna come here. That he was dropping hints that he wanted me to chaperone him to his first party or something.”
”Really?” You might have to smack the back of Dustin’s head a little next time you see him… ”Is that why you came?”
”No… Not at all.” Eddie remarked calmly, holding eye contact with you whilst he said it but then moved his eyes to look over the party around the two of you. ”Could we get away from this for a while?”
”For sure.”
You tried going outside at first but there were a lot of people outside too. People who’d probably had the same thought as Eddie. To get some air or just get away from being surrounded by people for a second or two at least.
”I have an idea.” You said before without a thought taking his hand in yours and leading him to the kitchen. Opened one of the drawers, and there they were; the key you’d locked the bedrooms with and a bag of snacks you’d saved for either when everyone left or for when you felt you needed to retreat to your bedroom. Almost like this moment turned out. Except you’d thought it would just be you, going up into your room, changing clothes and eating snacks, and then falling asleep.
Took the key, took the snacks, filled up your drink, and walked upstairs with Eddie in tow. As soon as Eddie made it into the room as well you shut the door as quickly as possible, set down your things and walked over to the windows, and opened them. Letting the fresh air in, but also thankfully some background noise. Took your things again and slumped down next to your bed, using it as a backrest.
”Better?”
”Much.” Eddie chuckled, his also refilled drink stretched out to toast with yours, ”Cheers.”
”Cheers.” He was sitting close enough for you to feel the heat of him radiating off of him once again. If he was so warm all the time you had no clue how the hell he constantly had on that leather jacket and jean vest combo. But you weren’t going to complain about any of that.
”I didn’t bring my stash.”
”Huh?”
”The… I asked if I could sell, y’know the other day. But… I didn’t bring it.”
”I don’t want to buy or anything-”
”No, you’re- I just… I didn’t want to sell. I just wanted to be here.” Eddie admitted with a sigh as if he absolutely needed to tell you that. His ’here’ sounded as if he really meant here, alone with you.
”That’s… sweet.” You chuckled as you heard yourself practically quoting him from the other day. Your heart felt as if it was going to beat its way out of you. And as a distraction… you decided to make it so much harder on yourself. Pulling your legs closer to yourself before picking up his closest arm and resting it on your angled lap as you decided to get a closer look at the tattoo near his elbow. Angling your knees slightly more in towards him as you stroked your fingers over the bats that decorated his skin.
You knew his eyes were on you as you started to trace them with one of your hands, whilst the one closest to him sort of just supported his arm. Or at least that’s only what it was doing until he took that hand in his own. However, you still didn’t dare look at him just yet. But you could still feel how close his head was to yours, how close you truly were now.
Your breathing had become kind of heavy, mostly in anticipation. This certainly felt like something was about to happen. And surprisingly you found yourself being the one to make it happen. Looked at him and took a deep breath in before you picked up your hand that had now just rested over his tattoo and guided it to his jaw instead. And then guided him to you.
Turns out, that having a crush on Eddie Munson leads to pretty amazing things. Like seeing the way he looked at you before you kissed. Feeling his free hand rest on one of your knees and guide them even closer to him. And the harsh feeling of several years of crushing on him, being intimidated by him, and admiring him softened severely.
”I’ve been wanting that for… too long.” Eddie sighed out dreamily once the two of you parted, which almost made you laugh in his face.
”You? I’ve been-” You started before your eyes widened and started over, ”Yeah no… way too long.” Your head bumped gently down on his shoulder forehead first and rested it there.
”What were you going to say?” His voice was quite hushed still but you could hear the smug and happy tone in it so clearly. Although he seemed to try not to sound so obvious.
”I uhm… I’ve sort of had this crush on you… for a while.”
”Really?”
”Yep.”
”Dustin trying to convince me to go makes a lot more sense now.” Eddie chuckled although his voice sounded more confused than enlightened. ”I sort of… figured out it was something behind it but I didn’t believe it when he said it was Steve who’d asked him to. I never figured out that there was a chain of command.”
”Oh god. Sorry. I was just… I didn’t think you’d come with the way the basketball team pretty much yelled their acceptance of the invite. And… y’know, crush. So I figured it was worth a try.” You shrugged lightly and placed your chin on his shoulder instead so you could look at him. Those big soft brown eyes looked right back at you.
”I was gonna come anyway.”
”Well I didn’t know that.”
”But now you do.”
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frogtanii · 3 years
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iwaizumi was... overwhelmed, to say the least.
the past few days had been such a whirlwind of change that hajime could barely properly process, much less appropriately react to it all, so he behaved much like a zombie, saying yes when prompted, signing papers when told, and packing up what was his entire life for the past 11 months.
wow. iwaizumi collapsed on his bed as he scanned his now barren bedroom. he’d been here for almost a year and yet, all his belongings were in boxes within a couple of days.
hajime couldn’t keep the disbelieving chuckle from escaping his chest as he leaned back on his bed, dark brown eyes trained on the ceiling.
it felt like he’d spent such a large chunk of his life trapped in this house, under the foot of the woman who he thought he’d marry but in reality, he’d been in little leagues longer than he’d been in love.
iwaizumi scoffed and rolled his eyes. yeah, “in love”. it’d been about a week since his whole life started to unravel and he had hardly seen, let alone spoken to meiko throughout that entire time.
over text, she’d sworn up and down that she loved and cared about him but as she passed by him packing his things a few days ago, she’d barely spared him a second glance.
hajime wasn’t going to lie. it hurt. he’d opened his heart up to her, something he didn’t do easily, and she’d taken his trust and used it to twist him into her weapon.
he always believed he was stronger than this — he’d never forget his mother telling him so when he was younger. he had fallen and scraped his knee yet he refused to cry to keep from upsetting his mom. iwaizumi existed to live up to what his mother thought of him but here he was, completely enveloped in meiko’s shit, doing her dirty work and following her bidding like some mutt.
god, toorū was right. he really was her bitch.
“i could hear you thinking from down the hall, iwa-chan.” speak of the devil...
oikawa stood at his doorway, leaning against the frame with a posture that seemed relaxed at first glance but if you looked a little closer, you’d notice the tenseness in his shoulders and the tightness of his smile.
hajime quickly sat up on his bed before motioning for his old friend to enter. “uh, yeah,” he began, his voice cracking a little from disuse, “i have a lot to think about.”
the light haired brunette let out an understanding hum before wandering into the room, sharp observant eyes darting to look at all the empty walls. “looks like you’re all packed.”
“pretty much,” iwaizumi nodded before the room fell into an awkward silence, the two childhood friends completely avoiding one another’s eyes.
“look, i-“
“iwa-chan, i’m-“
they both paused for a moment before bursting into laughter, the sound carrying into the hall and throughout the house.
hajime wiped a few stray tears from his eyes, shaking his head at their awkwardness. “you first, shittykawa.”
toorū gasped in halfhearted mock offense before quickly sobering up, training iwaizumi with a completely serious look. “i’m sorry and before you go on some bullshit, self sacrificing rant, you’re not the only one to blame for what happened to our friendship.”
he sighed while making his way to iwaizumi’s bed, sitting down gently beside him. “i should’ve known better, okay? i shouldn’t have let my jealousy and insecurities get in between us but i guess i got swept up in the attention, yknow? meiko is actually charming when she wants to be.”
iwaizumi nodded in agreement, knowing all too well how compelling meiko could be. the room fell into a more comfortable silence as both boys escaped into their thoughts, questions about the future of their friendship flitting throughout their minds.
“oh!” oikawa was pulled out of his own head at hajime’s exclamation, his eyes moving to observe his friend dig through his pockets to procure a thick white envelope. “here. i’d like you to give this yn.”
all toorū could do was nod, his brain short circuiting at the sight of iwaizumi’s apparent kindness to the woman he tormented for so long. “uh, what’s in it?” he ventured to ask, his soft hands toying with the sealed envelope flap.
a soft chuckle came from across the bed. “don’t be so nosy toorū, just give it to her, yeah?” oikawa rolled his eyes but obliged, the bed creaking as he stood to his feet.
“so... this is it, huh?” it was like the reality of the situation was just now sinking in — they hadn’t been close in a while but iwaizumi was still his best friend and he wasn’t quite ready to let him go.
they’d been through so much together, practically growing up together and now, they’d only see each other on holidays, if even then, and then he’d never be invited to hajime’s wedding as his best man as they’d planned and he also wouldn’t be the coolest uncle/godfather of iwa’s children and—
“fuck no,” hajime scoffed with a bright grin on his face. “thought you were gonna annoy me til the end of time shittykawa. don’t tell me you’re quitting your job now.”
the hidden meaning behind iwaizumi’s words brought tears to oikawa’s eyes and before he could stop himself, he launched his body into iwa’s arms. hajime hesitated, his hands stuttering at toorū’s sides as though he’d forgotten how to hug but the feeling passed, his arms winding around his friend’s lithe waist.
“‘m gonna miss you hajime,” oikawa’s voice came out as a broken whimper, his arms tightening around his shoulders.
iwaizumi hummed instead of responding, too afraid of his voice cracking under the weight of his emotions. they stood there for a moment but the honk of the moving truck outside signaled the both of them of their limited time.
hurriedly, oikawa wiped the tears off his cheeks before waving awkwardly at iwaizumi as he left the room with a friendly, “don’t be a stranger.”
and then he was gone.
toorū finally allowed himself to collapse into sobs on his best friends empty bed, his palms pressing into his eyes as he sat there and just let himself feel.
apparently, he wasn’t crying very quietly because it took only a few moments for you to find him, your soft footsteps alerting him to your presence. oikawa scrambled to wipe away what he knew was an unattractive mixture of tears and snot as you got closer.
you were one of the last people he wanted to see him like this.
“hey,” you whispered, standing a few feet away from him. “um, i know this is probably a bad time but i just wanted to thank you for apologizing? back at the awards show?”
toorū sniffed as he looked up at you with confusion written on his face. “what? you shouldn’t thank me for apologizing. ‘s common courtesy.”
you laughed softly, nodding in agreement. “well, not always. so, thank you.” finished with your piece and not too keen on lingering where you weren’t wanted, you moved towards the door but were swiftly stopped before you got there.
“um, here. it’s from iwa-chan.” you gaped at the thick envelope oikawa was handing you before taking it and opening it, a low curse falling from your lips.
inside the package was a dense wad of cash, more money than you’d seen in months. accompanied with it was a letter, written in beautifully loopy handwriting.
you shut it quickly before oikawa could see, stuffing the envelope deep within your pocket where you could access it alone in the depths of your room.
“do you wanna come eat? last i heard, bokuto and tsumu were doing a cooking competition and i’m sure it’ll be fun to watch.” you were severely thrown off by the money and letter but you were determined to show toorū that you’d accepted his apology and were on your way to making amends.
he gave you a shy nod and trailed behind you to the kitchen, the loud sounds of fire and screaming coming from down the hall. you wanted to focus on the fun and merriment but the envelope was practically burning a hole in your pocket.
later that night, you finally got the chance to open the letter and read it, your former manager’s words bringing tears to your eyes.
dear yn,
i’m probably the last person you expected to hear from. you probably didn’t want to hear from me at all if i’m being honest and i don’t blame you. i know there is nothing i can say that could make up for what i’ve done to you but i’d like to try.
i’m sorry. those words don’t nearly express in and of themselves how truly remorseful i am but they needed to be said. there’s no excuse for how i treated you — not meiko, not my stress, absolutely nothing.
you deserved my common decency and respect and i didn’t give that to you. instead, i abused my position and made your life hell. i’ll never forgive myself for that.
uh, i bet you’re wondering what the money is? i promise i’m not trying to pay you off, it’s just all the money i’ve denied you since you moved here. i have a lot of wrongs to right and this is one of them.
sorry, i’m not very good with words but i just wanted you to know that i’m very sorry for everything that i’ve done. and i’m in no place to make demands or anything but i just wanted to ask if you’d keep an eye on oikawa for me.
he’s strong but he’s also vulnerable. he might be a pain in my ass but he’s my best friend and since i can’t keep him from drowning, i was wondering if you’d do that - not for me but for him.
anyways, this letter is shit but i suppose you get the gist. use the money for whatever you want and if you’re as unselfish as i’ve heard, you don’t owe me anything. you don’t owe me money, kindness, or forgiveness.
take care of yourself,
iwaizumi hajime
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℗ poker face
so... this is it
series masterlist
(●’◡’●)ノ
an - soooo m back :D hopefully this is the last of my mini hiatuses!! this chapter sucked to write but i’m not mad at how it turned out?? pls let me know how i did skjdkd don’t forget to feed me <3333
taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you
@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @katsulovee • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @syndellwins • @jooleuuh • @loubells • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saikishairclip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @crybabygumi • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp
the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!
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that-spider-witch · 3 years
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On “Dead” Cultures and Closed Spiritual Practices: Why Colonialism Is Still A Problem.
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Let me start this by saying that, as far as my knowledge of Paganism and Polytheism as a whole goes, I’m what the internet witch community calls a “Baby Witch”. I’m stating this out of the gate because I know there will be lots of people, including witches who have more experience on the craft than me, who might decide to ignore what I have to say based on that fact alone, stating that I’m not knowledgeable enough to give my opinion about this.
Here’s the kicker: I’m a ‘baby witch’, yes, but I’m also a twenty-six year old Venezuelan woman. I’m an adult. I’m Latina. I’m a Christian-raised Pagan,but I’m also a Latinoamerican woman over all other things including that. I grew up on this culture, these are my roots. It is because of this background than I’m writing this post today.
Looking through the “Paganism” and “Witchcraft” tags of this website, I’ve seen a few posts throwing indigenous deities and spirits’ names around on lists alongside deties of open cultures. Yes, you can know better by doing your own research and not going by what just a random Tumblr user wrote on one post (as I hope its the case with everyone on this website), but the fact that pagan beginners are still getting fed misinformation is still worrisome to me.
There’s nothing like reading a so-called expert putting Ixchen (Maya), Xolotl (Nahuatl) and Papa Legba (Vodou) on the same damn list as Norse, Hellenic and Kemetic deities and tagging it on the tags aimed at beginners who might not know better to truly ruin your morning. I’m not mentioning user names here: If you know then you know.
To quote @the-illuminated-witch on her very good post about Cultural Appropriation: 
“Cultural appropriation is a huge issue in modern witchcraft. When you have witches using white sage to “smudge” their altars, doing meditations to balance their chakras, and calling on Santa Muerte in spells, all without making any effort to understand the cultural roots of those practices, you have a serious problem.
When trying to understand cultural appropriation in witchcraft, it’s important to understand the difference between open and closed magic systems. An open system is one that is open to exchange with outsiders — both sharing ideas/practices and taking in new ones. In terms of religion, spirituality, and witchcraft, a completely open system has no restrictions on who can practice its teachings. A closed system is one that is isolated from outside influences — usually, there is some kind of restriction on who can practice within these systems.”
A counter-argument I’ve seen towards this when someone wants to appropiate indigenous deities and spirits is to use the “dead culture” argument: Extinct cultures are more eligible for use by modern people of all stirpes. It is a dead culture and dead religion. It would be one thing if some part of the culture or religion was still alive, being used by modern descendants, but the culture died out in its entirety and was replaced, right? They were all killed by colonization, they are ancient history now, right?
Example: “If white people are worshipping Egyptian deities now, then why can’t I worship [Insert Aborigen Deity Here]?”
To which I have two things to say:
Ancient Egypt’s culture was open and imperialistic, meaning they wanted their religion to be spread. This is why Kemetism is not Cultural Appropriation, despite what some misinformed people might tell you. Similar arguments can also be made for the Hellenic and the Norse branches of Paganism, both practiced by people who aren’t Greek/Norse.
Who are you to say which cultures are “dead” and which are not?
Religious practices such as Vodou and Santería certainly aren’t dead, not that it keeps some Tumblr users from adding Erzuli as a “goddess” on their Baby Witch post, something that actual Vodou practitioners have warned against.
Indigenous cultures such as the Maya and the Mapuche aren’t dead, despite what the goverment of their countries might tell you. The Mapuche in particular have a rich culture and not one, but two witchcraft branches (The Machi and the Kalku/Calcu). Both are closed pagan practices that the local Catholic Church has continuously failed to assimilate and erase, though sadly not for lack of trying:
“The missionaries who followed the Spanish conquistadors to America incorrectly interpreted the Mapuche beliefs regarding both wekufes and gualichos. They used the word wekufe as a synonym for ideas of the devil, demons, and other evil or diabolical forces. This has caused misunderstanding of the original symbolism and has changed the idea of wekufe right up to the present day, even amongst the Mapuche people.”
For context, the Wefuke are the Calcu’s equivalent of the Familiar, as well as reportedly having more in common with the Fae than with demons anyway.
This and other indigenous religions are Closed because it is wrong for foreigners to just come and take elements from marginalized groups whom are still fighting to survive and that they weren’t born into. To just approppiate those things would be like spitting in their faces, treating them and their culture like a commodity, a shiny thing, a unique thing to be used like paint to spruce up your life or be special.
I know some of you are allergic to the word “Privilege”, but on this situation there really ain’t a better word to explain it. You weren’t born here, you don’t know what it is like, you are only able to see the struggle from an outsider’s point of view.
If a belief or practice is part of a closed system, outsiders should not take part in it. And with how many practices there are out there which are open for people of all races, there is really no excuse for you to do it.
Why Colonization Is Not “Ancient History”
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If you have kept reading all this so far, you are probably wondering “Ok, but what does Colonization has to do with any of this?”
The answer? Everything.
With the general context of culture appropriation out of the way, let me tell you about why the whole “dead culture” argument rubs me the wrong way: Here in Venezuela, we have a goddess called Santa Maria de la Onza, or Maria Lionza for short, whom’s idol statue I have been using to illustrate this little rant. If you happen to know any Spanish, you might recognize the name as a derivative of Santa Maria, aka the Virgin Mary, and you are mostly correct: Her true indigenous name is theorized to have been Yara.
And I say “theorized” because it is a subject of hot debate whether she was really ever called that or not: Her original name, the name by which she was adored and worshipped by our ancestors, might have been forever lost to history.
That’s the legacy of colonization for you: Our cultures were stolen from us, and what they couldn’t erase they instead tried to assimilate. Our ancestors were enslaved, their lands and homes stolen, their artwork and literary works destroyed: The Maya and the Aztec Empire were rich in written works of all kinds, ranging from poetry to history records to medicine, and the Spaniards burned 99% of it, on what is probably one of the most tragic examples of book burning in history and one that people rarely ever talk about. 
People couldn’t even worship their own gods or pass their knowledge of them to their children. That’s why Maria Lionza has such a Spanish Catholic-sounding name, and that’s why we can’t even be sure if Yara was her name or not: The Conquistadors couldn’t steal our goddess from us, so they stole her name instead. Catholics really have a thing with trying to assimilate indigenous goddesses with the Virgin Mary, as they tried to do the same with the Pachamama.
On witchy terms, I’d define Maria Lionza as both a deity and a land spirit: Most internet pages explaining her mention the Sorte mountain as her holy place, but it is more along the lines that she is the mountain. 
You’d think that, with Venezuela and other Latinoamerican countries no longer being colonies, we’d be able to worship our own deities including her, right?
As far as a lot of Catholics seem to think and act, apparently we are not.
The Catholics here like to go out of their way to shame us, to call us “cultists”, to ostracize us, with a general call to “refrain from those pagan beliefs” because they go against the Catholic principles. Yes, the goddess with the Catholic-sounding name, a name she happens to share with a Catholic deity, apparently goes “against Catholic principles”. You really can’t make this shit up. (Linked article is in Spanish)
This is just an act of colonization out of many, of not wanting to stop until the culture they want to destroy is gone. Don’t believe for a second that this is really their God’s will or anything like that, they are just trying to finish what years of enslavement and murder couldn’t. They might not be actively killing us anymore, but they still want us dead.
So no, colonization is not some thing that has long passed and now only exist on history textbooks: It is still happening to this day. It is by treating it as old history that they can keep doing it, and it is by pushing the narrative that our indigenous cultures are “dead cultures” that they try to erase our heritage.
Because we are not dead. We are still here, we are alive, we have survived and we’ll keep on surviving, and our gods and goddesses are not yours to take.
¡Chao! 🐈
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