#anyway really curious how I see people say 'it's a good representation of being in a relationship with a terminally ill person!'

[5mcsinatrenchcoat]

is there a way to block one single post without necessarily blocking the whole person

[yourlakebed]

okay, I'm a little bit scared to post this, but I think I finally have the right words to write a concise and clear post about my thoughts on asexuality (although the topic is still complicated).

upd: well, at least it was planned as concise...

let's start with what a huge number of people stumble over. if we put the term 'sex-repulsed' into google, the first article on the link will tell us that:

"'sex-repulsed' typically refers to people on the asexual spectrum who experience some form of sex repulsion. Some ace-spec or a-spec individuals may be repulsed by the idea of sexual activity or any sexual situation.

The term indicates that a-spec person experiences sex repulsion meaning they find sexual activity disgusting or repulsive. Some people are repulsed by the thought of engaging in sex altogether, while others may be disgusted by some sexual activity but not all.."

though it is not entirely wrong, articles like these that make a direct correlation between aversion to sex and asexuality do a lot of damage to the perception of asexuality. cause what if I told you that asexuality is not an umbrella term for "people who don't have sex/who hate sex"?

asexuality is about the absence of sexual attraction. it's not even about a lack of libido - there are a huge number of asexual people with a high libido. i.e., we can't even say it's about "people who don't want sex." no, because

it's as simple as that - it's about people who do not feel sexual attraction.

It took me a long time to explain how exactly this works even to myself and now, it seems, I finally got it (the final straw was actually Good Omens, with its incredible representation of asexual characters (yes, I'm talking about Azi and Crowley, and no, I'm not in any way dissing other headcanons for labeling them differently, and even more so - I don't see why these headcanons have to clash)).

so I came up with pretty simple example - comparison to food/hunger. it may be a dangerous one because sex, unlike food, is not a "basic human need", [despite the claims of some men who justify sexual violence by referring to their "basic need for sex/reproduction🤡"].

but anyway, this is how this food analogy works:

imagine you're a creature that doesn't need to eat at all. therefore you never feel hungry - you simply do not have such a function as being hungry. you were made that way. you can try food if you're interested or you can not. let's say you tried it, but it was.. well, it was okay, but not that you would do that every day. and suddenly you tried pancakes with raspberry jam, and you really liked them, and now you eat pancakes because you like the taste. and you think, "well, if I liked the pancakes so much, then maybe I'll search and find another one"...

and so your journey continues, and sometimes you find some new "dishes" that you like... or maybe you don't find them and move on. that, my friends, what asexuality is like!

I have asexual friends who love bdsm and are into the kink culture, because for them it is like a delicacy or some exotic dish. there are friends who simply don't care and don't want to try anything. I have friends who are curious and plan on trying to find their "raspberry jam pancakes". there are those who long ago found their comfortable "dish" and eat only that one. there are those who like the way one particular person cooks, and like the smell when you sit and watch that person cook, and like the very fact that that person cooks for you.

and people who are disgusted by sex, or even the very idea of ​​it (sex-repulsed people) are most often people who have a certain trauma that has nothing to do with asexuality. and the combination of these two terms standing beside each other creates a terrible stigma around asexuality.

I am infinitely grateful to everyone who read this, because this is a very important topic for me personally🖤🤍💜

[generalkenobitrash]

spoilers for ep6 of hotd s2

i'm completely confused by the writing at this point, but i do like that we're getting more team green representation because they were too cartoonishly evil and not cool last season. i would've wanted corlys to have an outburst over rhaenys' death last episode, rather than simply going to driftmark for baela to convince him. rhaenyra making him hand of the king would have had more importance then, i think. jace is sitting the council at last lol. knowing what will happen to steffon darklyn, i feel kinda bad for him. it was a bit of a stupid decision, especially considering bastards are perhaps a better bet than a kingsguard (a very needed one, at that) whose relation to house targaryen is pretty distant. but i do admire than he genuinely wanted to help his queen and thus kinda sacrificed himself. okay, my wish for daemon to hallucinate viserys has come to pass at last. though viserys says the same stuff as in season 1, but it's much more...soft. i actually prefer this one to the scene in s1. viserys is more vulnerable and it's always a pleasure to see paddy considine. daemon's storyline is a bit slow but i'm glad to see him being driven to the edge of madness. matt smith is a phenomenal actor, so he carries the sometimes boring writing. simon strong is being an icon as always. i love caraxes so the screen time is much appreciated. i just know alys giggles to herself when daemon has his luigi's mansion moments. i do love that she makes him face his faults when he's trying to run. daemon has always wanted the crown, but it's so clear to see that he's not fit for it. he's right that rhaenyra never wanted it, but she rose up to the occasion. she's being a leader. daemon struggles to raise men by threat of fire. alys and mysaria are the most interesting characters to me this season. by saying that in three days the winds will shift, i think alys meant that grover tully will die and oscar will take his place and therefore secure an army for rhaenyra. i am still sad to lose kermit tully. i understand the muppets association but it's legit a cool name 😂. the scene where ser steffon tries to bond with seasmoke was very interesting. it's pretty neat to get more insight into the dragonbonding process. anyways, rip steffon darklyn. you did your best. i do like sylvi (the brothel madam) and dyana, so i'm curious to see what's next for them, though i think sylvi may not appear again. anyways, the smallfolk have my heart. i like that after suffering yet another loss, rhaenyra feels utterly frustrated and desperate. i love love and love rhaenyra and mysaria. i kind of don't like the "the people will be hungry and will need someone to blame", because yes, the keep has more than enough food for themselves, but it was rhaenyra who initiated the blockade. the blame could easily shift to her. with all the dismissing and whatnot, i don't think otto even managed to reach oldtown before he's being summoned back lol. aegon didn't really listen to his council, but atleast he tried, while aemond's being outright mean to his council. tom glynn carney is amazing. no matter what aegon did, i don't think he deserves to be lowkey tortured by aemond. tgc is seriously too charismatic and too good to make me hate aegon. i truly wonder if they'll make rhaena tame sheepstealer. i love my sweet girl sm. the baby dragons are so cute. i'm sorry jeyne arryn is so beautiful i can't focus whenever she's on-screen. i'm lowkey stressed that the battle of the gullet is coming. i love the rather subtle way they're using to show that addam and alyn are bastards. i like alyn in the show. i love that even rhaenyra is sick of daemon. he truly has to get his act together and recognize that it is rhaenyra's claim he should uphold. how did the fisher guy not see the boat before it was right there at the beach? oh well. food for the smallfolk yay. lyman beesbury haunts the narrative. i write as i watch the episode and i'm already at the limit and the episode is not even over 💀

[arenabreadandbiscuits]

What Disney princess or non Disney couples do Radioapple and RadioStatic remind you of.

For me

RadioStatic bottom Vox is Ariel x Eric, or Christine x Raoul

RadioStatic bottom Alastor is Rapunzel x Eugene, Anastasia x Dimitri

Radioapple bottom Lucifer is Snow White x Florian, Odette x Derer

And Radioapple Bottom Alastor is Tiana x Naveen, Megara x Hercules

But what about you ps sorry for rambling

PLS DONT APOLOGIZE

I was reading and ended up having those moments when you hear something really cute and fluffy about a ship that you're on the fence about or whatever and it's one of those moments that really solidifies your secret love for em.

I'm saying I was like this:

You're thoughts for radioapple got me so good, good job 😩✨

For starters though! (Prompts Below!)

Radiostatic: Bottom Vox x Top Alastor

Ariel and Eric for bottom Vox x Alastor is so cute. Like hold on lemme post gifs too but listen to this bruh, like Vox is definitely the one to run off every so often and BAM...what's this creature that walks on...sticks?? Twigs?? Like BROO IM FINNA DRAW THIS LISTEN TO ME

anyway Vox is curious and of course he's told not to go, I'm thinking maybe instead of the family scenario in the little mermaid, Valentino could be like Ariel's father. Like he's always telling Vox about those humans and stuff, to stay away and all that even though Vox feels such a pull.

He goes anyway. "It'll just be for a moment... No one will even notice!" And then he goes out there, builds this thing where watching Alastor go on about his day to day is a lot more interesting then the ocean all of the sudden.

Bro would literally freak out when it comes down to Alastor actually catching him in the act. Like imagine them freezing for a moment and just looking at each other before Vox seems to realize he's been caught and immediately ducks back down into the ocean just so he can fathom it.

"H-He saw me! Holy shit he actually saw me this time!"

"The people", being Alastor. Vox finds that he desperately wants to be so much closer to Alastor and interestingly enough, the feeling is mutual.

Like come on, Alastor saw a mermaid! How could he not want to investigate further?

I'm also thinking something like imagine Alastor having internal moments of like he's feeling like something is missing and just for a splint moment, just as he lets his guard down, he lifts his head with a little smile and casts his eyes up, perking when he's met with another pair of eyes.

Lol, active representation of Vox when their eyes connect before he ducks under the waves below!

BRUH NAH THIS IDEA IS TOO GOOD I MUST DRAW 😭

...

...

Anyway~

Radiostatic: Bottom Alastor x Top Vox

I LOVE the repunzal x Eugene idea too since I know those two better but yo immediately thinking of this scene.

Alastor would be so spooked to find Vox there that this is TOO him 😭😭😭😂 he definitely wasn't playing with Vox at first and then considering Alastor's a deer it's also giving those videos of deers jumping extra hard at something when it spooks them. Immediately on guard.

Thing is, Vox is quite charming, like more so than Alastor would have ever initially thought.

Vox definitely finds himself looking at Alastor like this often after they get along a bit more. Like he's always been able to run around and be 'free', a commitment issue with saying in one place for too long surely, but Alastor's always been...locked up, hidden away and hardly ever exploring the world around them. Vox finds that while their adventures together are CRAZY he really likes that light in Alastor that Alastor has never been given the chance to show others before.

Alastor has always had to be something so much smaller than what he really is and Vox sees it when they run into each other and he doesn't necessarily mean to but he manages to be up for pulling that side out of Alastor.

Imagine Vox being so lovesick while Alastor is still understanding it, like he's patient but he's always there if Alastor actually needs him, always willing to rush to his aid and keep him safe because after everything Alastor has been through Vox is willing to be the peace he deserves. It's all for Alastor in his head though later Vox really comes to the understanding that it is in fact for himself as well because in reality...all he's ever wanted was someone to love who loved him too.

Radioapple: Bottom Lucifer x Top Alastor

Snow White and Florian! I'm telling you you are brilliant.

For one work with me here because Snow White is an older movie so I'm recounting right now and hopefully accurately but Snow White lived on her own with the animals and such before right?? If that's the cause when Lucifer went about his life he did so simply, doing what he loves. Like it's giving that he is a hopeless romantic here, like imagine when he's outside watching the animals be together and find mates he smiles because of course he wishes he could have something like that. A partner and one who adores him.

In the case from earlier where Vox is a lover boy Lucifer here is too but like I said, hopeless romantic. Where basically he continues to wait, wait, and wait even if doing so gets him down from time to time.

Maybe one day someone will come, maybe someday someone will find him and in moments like that he sings because it feels right. What else would he do anyway?

I see a scene in my head that I wanna draw and basically Lucifer is outside, probably sitting in a patch of grass, bonus points if it's flowers and he sings as the sun shines down on him. Animals would start approaching and Alastor would hear it in a distance, hunting though ..he has to know who's singing. He'll follow the singing, careful just as he would be with an animal just in case he spooks whoever it is and then he'll find him. He'll see Lucifer and just stop for a moment as he listens.

Alastor would definitely take a radio with him when he was outside every once in a while just to do so but imagine his face hearing Lucifer sing. He's starting to worry he may never be able to listen to the radio again without thinking of the mystery man who loves the animals.

It probably leaves him thinking a lot. He must leave him be.. no, no. He must talk to him! Alastor probably would be conflicted on whether he wants to get closer or pull away and act like he never heard anything to begin with.

Imagine he does decide to leave at first but he just keeps coming back later like he can't help but find this beautiful man who sings in the woods every time Alastor goes. Definitely would be a really good slow burn honestly but they definitely would find each other later and Alastor is so careful with Lucifer, easy with him and as they grow together it just feels right.

Radioapple: Bottom Alastor x Top Lucifer

I'm finna eat this up so good. Both Meg x Hercules and Tiana x Naveen are amazing ships for how I think this dynamic between them would go.

Lucifer is so witty and charming so moments like when Naveen was walking out playing his little guitar and stopped for a moment to like wink or whatever at Tiana and the moment when Hercules was at the waterhole and smitten but Meg and the two scenes that jump to mind thinking of Lucifer x Alastor here.

Like Lucifer probably shows more of his fun loving nature here, like he works for himself but he's really just chilling, not particular goal in mind though he does have dreams and ambitions. Pfft frog Lucifer x Frog Alastor needs to be drawn or something because the back and forth that Tiana and Naveen had was top tier Radioapple 😩😭

YOOO THIS IS SO YHEM IDC IDC

Like I always thought that in the movie even before they turned to frogs, that it was interesting that Naveen and Tiana had that moment. It was giving accidentally soulmates or something along those lines because in the cause of radioapple, Lucifer probably seen Alastor at that moment and thought he was cute so tipped his hat and grinned and Alastor rolls his eyes and it's just that. Lucifer doesn't push for anything more and then BAM they run into each other again later and have to deal with each other.

Lol and we saw in Princess in the frog later how when they were frogs Naveen and Tiana had their disputes and such when trying to turn back human and Alastor and Lucifer would literally be the very same way 😂

Same in the concept of them being like Hercules and Meg. With both ships Lucifer is the witty charming love interest and Alastor is the hardworking other who isn't necessarily searching for love but it finds him anyway.

Like they definitely have their moments of arguing but they work so well together when they actually choose to do so and Alastor finds himself being more and more drawn in by Lucifer's presence as they spend time together.

Really it's Alastor having to trust Lucifer and Lucifer having to prove that he's trustworthy but once Alastor lets him in everything else seems to be history.

Imma leave it here for now but I hope y'all like the read! Ask box is open and I'm still healing so commissions are always welcome.

Drawing requests are 4/5 if I believe so RN and I'll post Wips of current art later ^^

[best-transgender-character]

Is all the characters being from Homestuck literal or a joke? (Genuine question, not upset. Just need clarification because that could really be either)

I'm breaking character in this post, for the only time. If you don't want the joke explained, don't keep reading.

Questions:

Is this a joke/rigged? Yes. Submissions were not taken into account, every poll of round one was drafted long before submissions closed. I had the list of competitors and the match-ups planned before I even made the blog. This was the plan all along. The competition was rigged from the very beginning.

Is this a real competition? Yes! I will be running polls with the characters in the match-ups. We will have a winner. It is still a real competition, and I encourage you to participate if you want, and reblog/vote and send propaganda.

Will you be running a different competition afterwards (with the real submissions)? No. This is the only competition I'm going to run. If you stick around only because you think there's going to be a different competition than this one, you'll be disappointed.

Why is X included? Why wasn't Z included? At the end of the day, the choice to exclude certain characters was a personal one. I'm no-longer going to be giving public reasoning for choices I've made including or excluding characters. You can DM me if you're genuinely concerned or curious.

Will you post the submissions? No, not publicly. If someone with prior competition experience wants to run the competition, they can reach out and I'll likely share the data with them.

Surely you don't actually expect us to believe it was all Homestuck submissions? No, I absolutely don't expect that. The absurdity is part of the joke. If you see my other posts insisting that the match-ups accurately reflect the submissions, that's because those posts are in-character.

Why did you do this? Mostly to see how people would react. The original inspiration for it came from the way Homestuck characters are sometimes over-represented in Tumblr competitions, as well as the way people get really mad about Homestuck characters in these competitions. The joke is that every single Homestuck character is transgender, and that these characters are superior to every other transgender character in media. The original thought process was something along the lines of, "You could submit every single Homestuck character to a poll like this."

Complaints:

I feel cheated that my character didn't get in!/I put so much work into my submission! The reality of these competitions is that most characters do not get in. If you're upset that your submission didn't make it, you're likely part of one of two groups. Either your character is less popular, and therefore wouldn't make the poll anyway, or your character is incredibly popular, in which case they've been included in countless identical polls already. When you submit a character, there's no guarantee that they'll make it. You do so voluntarily, with the knowledge that it's only a chance. If this is genuinely distressing to you, you may want to reconsider how you interact with online polls.

You're transphobic! I'm transgender, and I don't feel that this joke is at the expense of transgender people. Even if you do feel that this joke mocks the transgender community, I think it is healthy and good to be able to take the piss out of ourselves from time to time.

I was hoping to discover new transgender representation! This blog never claimed to be about transgender representation, and explicitly did not preference canonicity. However, if you're looking for interesting transgender characters, I have a webcomic in mind that you might find interesting.

This isn't funny. That's okay, the joke wasn't for you.

[ID: Anonymous asked "You could say we got trolled." End ID]

Credits:

Thank you to @hsrips for the promo and image edits.

Thank you to my friends for laughing with me.

Thank you to the people spreading the polls and rooting for the characters, especially the people getting really into the more niche characters.

And most of all, thank you to the people who originally reblogged the post, who were here before the round one announcement, who submitted a huge amount of characters, and who got really upset at me. This joke relied so heavily on you, and I appreciate it a lot.

[paradoxcase]

Gideon the Ninth audiobook reactions

I listened for a little over an hour, to the end of Chapter 3, and so far it's been great. It's a little odd making notes for what I think about it though - with the ebook I could visually skim over what I read before and take specific screenshots and everything, currently I've just been taking notes in a text editor and it's a little awkward. I had to look back at the pronunciation guide, which was also a little awkward, since the audiobooks are on my linux partition now and the Nook app is on Windows, so I keep having to reboot. I think I decided that for my next computer I'm not going to partition and will just run linux in VM

Anyway, for the name pronunciations:

Nonagesimus: Yeah, that pronunciation is going to bother me, but realistically I think she is going to be saying it so often that I'll just get used it it

Aiglamene: This was stressed on a syllable I didn't expect, but after consulting the pronunciation guide, that is how it was described and I was just wrong. Woe

Glaurica: Not how I pronounced the au. I note there's no instruction in the pronunciation guide about how to pronounce the au, the "phonetic" spelling also just says "au"

Palamedes: Also stressed on a syllable I didn't choose, but I knew full well that that was how the pronunciation guide said to pronounce it and was just in denial. I don't know if I'll get used to this one, we'll have to see

Character voice opinions:

I love Crux, he sounds kind of like Locked Tomb Gollum who doesn't double-mark plurals

I always headcanoned Gideon as having a low voice, probably because I have a low voice I want to see more representation for women with naturally low voices, this audiobook is not giving me that and I just have to accept it. Otherwise it's pretty good, although it's not always distinct from the narration

Aiglamene's voice is perfect

Harrow is also pretty good, but I'm curious if it will change when the main person she's interacting with is Ianthe, because right now it's very aristocratic and I feel like that would sort of overshadow Ianthe being even more aristocratic

The Glaurica voice was great

I'm not sure how I feel about Ortus's voice, but I guess I'll have to wait for the next book to reassess that first impression, since Ortus is now officially gone for the next 16 hours

Just regular stuff about the text that is hitting different a second time:

The Eighth House being described as "The Forgiving House" in the Dramatis Personae made me go "lol nope". Also it feels like a, uh, call-forward, I guess, to Mercy talking about forgiving John

The book opens in the year 10,000. I remember being Gideon and Harrow's age when we got to the year 2000, and we were all having endless arguments about whether the millennium actually began in 2000, or 2001. Why are none of the nerdy young people in this book getting really overinvested in the question of what is the actual first year of the myriad? I can see Harrow and Gideon having an incredibly violent argument about this and it would have been a great callback to some early aughts culture, which is something this book absolutely loves to do

Not really hitting different, but even after reading the whole thing I am still mystified by Gideon's apparent knowledge of Pluto's seasons

At some point it said "they chipped her". Did they put a tracking chip in Gideon, like you do with a cat?

Harrow says "I swear by my mother I have nothing on me" but Gideon was asking her to confirm that it was a fair fight, and it absolutely wasn't, haha

"My parents should have suffocated you" followed by "I'd like to see them try that now." Oof

Harrow saying "my parents have been waiting long enough" at the end of Chapter 2 hits a bit different when you already know at this point that they are dead and its their zombies that are waiting to be puppeted by Harrow. And everyone in the room knows this, she's not like pretending her parents are still alive for the benefit of some random nuns who aren't in the know

"In the Ninth everyone knew [cavaliers] were chosen for how many bones [they] could hump around" - I remember last time someone filled me in on this after Gideon's fight with Naberius and someone else said it was a spoiler, but it's actually stated quite plainly in Chapter 3

[uninformedartist]

Would you please elaborate on Alastor & iffy ace rep? I’m assuming it’s “only confirmed ace is a murderous cannibal with seemingly no positive feelings toward other people” but I’m curious if there’s anything else

Actually (this is me personally) I don't have a problem with Alastor being this murderous cannibal with little to no feelings towards others. Lets go on that, love seeing villainous ace/aro characters in media. I always seen in media how kind of coddled and infantalised ace/aro characters are (like Todd in bojack) or they are villainous but them being ace is a last minute slap on, its not genuine or its just really bad (◔_◔) riverdale). But I am happy for the positive ace representation in some media like the owl house I felt how Lilith was written was top tier, a breath of fresh air and fandom and outside reactions towards Lilith being aromantic-asexual is really heartwarming and overall positive.

Anyway back to Alastor. To me Alastor being ace has felt like a last minute slap on by Viv, a kind of "representation quota" to be met in the hazbin show. Hazbin is full of characters with different sexualities and Viv's past art of them always explored or alluded to that aspect of them but Alastor its always been him being murderous, cannibalistic or with Mimzy. I found some past art of Alastor with Mimzy and yes I know ace characters can have romantic partners etc but Alastor is devoid of exploring his asexuality or a hint of him being possibly ace in past art or the pilot.

Some of the art, these were from Vivienne's portfolio (feel like they were supposed to be a couple but was changed later).

Why it feels to me like a last minute add on and mainly feeds into the toxic borderline ace-phobic notion that we as ace and aro people also are seen as devoid of ever feeling love or reciprocating love/affection/sympathy etc and because of this ace and aro people are perceived as cold narcissists because of these false assumptions. All that I mentioned seems to me the reason why Alastor was made ace in the 1st place because he feels nothing towards others and is a narcissist. Yes props for a villainous ace character but Alastor feeds heavily into the negative assumptions made on ace people.

Also fan reception to Alastor being ace. I mentioned how Lilith being aromantic-asexual was recived well by the fans and outside the fandom. Alastor being ace wasn't well taken by the fandom/outside the fandom when it was 1st announced by Viv and it continues to this day.

A few comments by fans and people:

This one tho hmmm

And it doesn't help that Viv gave her blessing to the fans to ship however they like, and in doing this gave people and fans the liberty to just ignore or deem Alastor being ace as meaningless to them.

This is not good ace representation because when I see Alastor through Viv depictions of him I cannot tell that he's ace, the the glimpses of "hey I'm getting ace vibes from him" is zero or him being ace can be completely ignored or written out by Viv and the fans. Viv is not ace and as such I don't have faith in her showing accurate, relatable and correct ace representation and also she doesn't seem to reach out to others of different sexualities to show good representation because her shows is full of stereotypes of different sexualities. Alastor in conclusion feels like a stereotype, was made ace to fill a representation quota, feeds into the negative assumptions made on ace and extention aro people and his asexuality can easily be written away or ignored because it doesn't feel part of who he is.

The sexuality of a character shouldn't be a quirky add on. These are *real* sexualities of *real people*, you doing this and I'm saying it how it is you're making fun of their sexuality and especially if its a sexuality thats not widely known about, taken seriously or is constantly misrepresented you can do great damage/add to the damage.

If you're making a character with X sexuality and no research or thought was put behind 1) why is my character this sexuality, 2) is how I'm writing this character going to feed into stereotypes/negative assumptions relating to their sexuality, 3) am I giving my character this sexuality to be a "quirky" add on or am I being genuine giving my character this particular sexuality. These are just a few things to consider and Viv by the looks of it has done no research, care and thought when making Alastor ace, he's just ace for the sake of it. I'll see how he is in Hazbin when it comes out but my expectations are very low but I'm still open minded.

Anyway this was a very messy ramble. This is just my personal opinions as an ace person on how I feel about Alastor. Would love to see others comments on this.

[archivalofsins]

Gunsli what are you talking about this time-

Would you believe it if I said it's the use of the word "New". Because it is. Multiple people have pointed to the use of the words,

New and newly born

In Double to go see this is why there have to be more alters because Dissociative Identity Disorder forms in childhood and John is admitting that his existence is new. Not just in comments on my post but privately to me as well. This isn't a dig at that reasoning because I see how people could conclude that when they take those words at face value.

However, it is funny that these words are being taken at face value here but weren't in other instances. Personally, to me this just seems like another obtuse tactic to explain why there must be more alters and it's not just two. However, I've been assuming the worst a lot lately because of my current disposition.

So, I thought I should try to engage with this on some level of good faith. Then after doing so concluded,

"Yeah, it's still objectively a weird thing to assert and seems to mostly be rooted in the fact that people don't want there to be only two in this instance. Plus, I personally doubt if Double or Neoplasm had hard confirmed there were three alters anyone would be highlighting the line to say there were more than that."

Okay, well we can't speak on that because neither the song or voice drama hard confirmed or even alluded to the idea there were more than two alters outside of the use of variations of the word new. We can't speak on that because that didn't happen.

Yeah, I know that I was there but a good deal of people are still behaving as though either of those things did do that or will do it later.

So, I can only assume at this point the issue isn't the fact that Milgram the franchise or story is ableist, but it has garnered an ableist fan base that is projecting their own biases onto the media and blaming it for those existing in the first place. Instead of properly reflecting on themselves because that would take a level of maturity severely lacking in this space.

Something that could explain why Yamanaka keeps saying that he's really excited to have people grow older and look back on their experiences with the franchise and the prisoners' cases. In a very way. While continually poking fun at Es' immaturity within the narrative through multiple characters. What do I know though it's probably not that.

Okay, well what makes it unreasonable or come off like that? Huh? Since you're so smart.

Oh, why thank you let me explain.

Firstly,

As I said this term is used in songs before this one just as the color green is.

Harrow

"Newly born, “HARROW HARROW”. It’s ok to dislike, right? Losing it, losing it, What should I hope for."

So, it's curious to us personally why the use of the word "new" is being highlighted here to support the idea of their being more alters but not in the case above. It just makes it apparent that maybe people aren't positing this idea with the best of intentions but simply to cling onto how they wish the story to go. Which is anyway other than being about an individual with dissociative identity disorder and only two alters. Really interesting...

Kotoko literally uses this exact wording to explain the formation of a new problem or idea. The beginnings of her idea of Justice and hatred of criminals. In the same vein the term could be being used again here to describe a new problem or change of circumstances that has led to an exacerbation of a long-term undiagnosed disorder.

Unless everyone wants to apply the logic, they're using in Mikoto's case to undermine two alter representation here as well and say that Kotoko has a different personality that was born over the course of Harrow that immediately wanted to kill so they did.

Secondly,

How is it ableist?

Well, here's the base definition of ableism,

Of course, what one considers ableism one can vary from person to person.

I personally consider it anything that discriminates against an individual with a disability whether that discrimination is in their favor or not. As both can come from a place of belittlement and superiority.

I.E

"Oh, they didn't know better. You know they have x so things like that are hard for them to understand. As someone who doesn't have those sorts of issues you should be more understanding. Be the bigger person."

"Don't you know they have x- You shouldn't talk to them. They might go off at any time."

Both of these statements are ableist in my opionion because they both belittle or demonize someone based on them having a disability. There are times when the first one may be applicable. However, it is annoying for some individuals with disabilities to have themselves be treated like a child even after they are long past the age of adulthood. There's a good example of this concept in the game Pocket Mirror with the character Harpae.

One may seem helpful and even lenient, but it can be annoying and patronizing to continually assume just because someone has a disability, they are incapable of taking care of themselves or doing wrong. Pocket Mirror immediately comes to mind because it was the first game to teach me that this behavior of over helping just because someone has a disability can also be viewed as dehumanizing and ableist.

Okay well that's grand for you what does it have to do with this instance though?

Well, personally the ableism with this framing to me is that it frames having dissociative identity disorder as this thing where alters can just be born sporadically and immediately go on murder sprees. You know the ableist trope that everyone was bitching about being the case trial one. Just to be using it now to support the idea of there being more than two alters.

It kind of highlights that people don't have an issue with ableism when it directly supports the point they want to make.

Further displaying how performative and disingenuous the audience's interest in these concepts can be.

All to again undermine the idea that Mikoto is,

"I don’t remember a thing, it couldn’t be helped, I’m DOUBLE (MeMe) I was having such a hard time, I was trying so hard."

Along with the very existence of individuals that have dissociative identity disorder that presents with only this number of alters. When I referred to the behavior as copium it was to make light of this situation and move on. Because it was clear to me that people within this space aren't at a point in their lives where they can actively reflect on how they interact with the topics Milgram discusses.

That those behaving in this way aren't doing it based on any reasonable grounds but just trying to engage with the media in a way that they find more interesting to them personally. How that comes off to others or what it says about them is just what it says about them. However, there's no discussion to be had here. There's nothing to really debate about. Will nothing that ultimately sticks to discussing the material as it was presented instead of going into what the majority fan response says about the audience.

Which doesn't really make it that fun to interrogate in my case. I'm here to interrogate Milgram the series not real people's objectively harmful behavior. I don't go looking for 3koto theories for this reason. I don't go on people's posts about it saying well this is why I believe it's not that. Because at the end of the day I'm not hung up on what others want to believe is going on.

I'm not going to change my mind on this simply because of what other people think would be narratively pleasing.

Because that's completely subjective. I don't see this being the case and it would not be narratively pleasing to me. There's no evidence for it and I believe presenting the idea that dissociative identity disorder can only present in one way is harmful. I could disprove it a million times. I could go point by point frame by frame color by color explaining why this behavior is just ridiculous.

However, I do have a life and I want to spend it discussing things the way I like to discuss them. Regardless of how people feel about it. Because when someone else is pissing in a cup right in front of me and tries to sell it to me as lemonade I simply go,

"Okay, that's certainly a thing you did there. Now drink it. You like what you did there so much, right? Drink it."

It's really that simple.

[gayeddie-saved-me]

Any 911 s7 ideas -things you think might or you would like to have happen- ?

honestly… i’m awful at guessing these sort of things. it’s been like forever since i’ve been watching a show as it’s being released (i lived in a house with someone that was very controlling about what we watched so i missed a solid 5 years or so of tv shows being released) so this is an interesting experience

honestly i get nervous about making predictions because i worry about getting my hopes up. i’m really really hoping that no matter what happens, abc does a good job handling the characters and storylines because sometimes when shows move from one broadcast channel to another it can get dicey.

i’m curious to see where they go with hen and karen and the new baby, and what hen is doing when it comes to medical school. also in general i just want more karen. always. she means so much to me you don’t understand.

i’m curious to see how abc handles the cruise ship situation, and whether it’s going to be a trauma that is thoroughly discussed or if it’s gonna be another tsunami scenario. and i want a good dramatic reunion scene between bobby and athena. i want to cry so much abc please make me cry but don’t kill them

some flashbacks to the tsunami episodes specifically for buck and eddie and christ would be great also but i don’t expect much

I WANT MORE CHRIS!!! i want to see pre-teen/early teen chris. i love him so much and i think it will be really interesting to see where they take his character now that he’s reaching an age where kids start to fully explore who they are. you reach a different level of consciousness and the early roots of your childhood form into deeper roots and personality traits and also just. teenage angst. anyway. chris diaz superiority forever and always

speaking of superior characters please please please please more ravi character development more ravi scenes im begging im on my knees he has become so important to me and i wanna see him and get to know his history more because the little bits we’ve gotten are not enough MORE. RAVI. PLEASE.

i know a lot of people are hoping for canon buddie and obviously i would LOVE to see that!! but i am also nervous that if we do start to get canon buddie, they won’t do them justice. i do however want more buddie content regardless of whether they acknowledge the romantic implications of their relationship. but also….

pls just kiss each other for gods sake. PLEASE.

also what are they gonna do with natalia and marisol because [redacted]

even if they don’t make buddie canon, i would really like to see gay!eddie become official. because that man is so queer coded, buddie or otherwise. good lord.

(also bi!buck but we know how television is with bisexual representation 😬)

and can i just say:

what the fuck is going on with the basketball shit

i have zero idea what is happening there

also i want to see madney wedding stuff obviously, specifically would love to see buck helping with decorations and planning and being a little asshole.

and more jee cuz i love her so much. i work with toddlers so i get really really excited when we get scenes of her. i really hope we get more uncle buck content but we’ve only got 10 episodes to work with so i don’t have high hopes.

this is such a long answer sorry 😅

[paperstorm]

I really like the 2x04 episode for reasons that have nothing to do with Carlos’ large hands because as a straight person who’s an ally but not part of the LGBTQ community, I learned about how different the coming out process can be. I had of course heard/read about the horror stories of people being kicked out of their home or ostracized from their communities and also the heartwarming stories of where family members stood up for the LGBTQ person and embraced them. But I feel like I didn’t know about an experience like Carlos’. How his parents simply never brought it up again and that made him feel like he couldn’t bring home boyfriends or introduce them to his parents and how confused that must have made him feel. Like, they said they love him, but the silence and avoidance, he just accepted. He just accepted that he could live his life in neat little compartments. And maybe that made him seek out men who weren’t really interested in being his boyfriend and meeting his parents (because he seemed flabbergasted that TK was upset at being introduced as the “friend” in that episode). Maybe he just thought, nope this will never happen for me. Or maybe he didn’t even love anyone enough to try. That felt so heartbreaking. Until TK.

And also Carlos’ large hands gently cradling TK’s.

Sorry if I’ve said anything offensive, I certainly didn’t mean to and I understand now that everyone’s coming out experience is different.

This is really lovely, I’m sure the writers and actors would be really touched by this. Good representation of different types of people is so important for exactly this - so that we can all step out of our bubble and learn to see the world through the eyes of someone who has a completely different life experience than us. I think the “we just never talked about it again” reaction is a really common one tbh, especially in some cultures or religions. Parents love their child but they can’t (or at least, not at first) reconcile their child being something that they were raised to believe was wrong, so they end up in a place of cognitive dissonance. We never really got Andrea and Gabriel’s side of that story, I would be curious to know how the writers saw their reaction. Were they upset at first and didn’t want to say anything? Were they just really confused? Were they waiting for Carlos to bring it up again and when he never did, they just didn’t either? Family dynamics are so complicated and interesting.

Anyway I rambled (as per 🙄) but I love that 2x04 gave you a perspective you didn’t have before. This show is generally really good at that.

[sanctum-of-ramshackle]

In The Dark

[TWST AU]: An MC/Yuu who fights like Xu Shang-Chi

[Synopsis]: In this timeline, MC/Yuu was transported to Twisted Wonderland and uses their knowledge of material arts to survive through chaotic adventures.

[Gender Neutral MC/Yuu]

[(A/N)]: I love Simu Liu and how he acted as Shang-Chi to show Asian representation in the Entertainment Industry.

The first time MC/Yuu came to Twisted Wonderland, they were in a middle of a battle against The Ten Rings clan.

MC/Yuu broke out of the coffin with their bare hands, shattering the lid into splinters and scaring poor Grim.

They were confused and still on defense mode then asked Grim who send him.

MC/Yuu: Who sent you? Wenwu?

Grim: Who-wu?

MC/Yuu: Never mind. *Sprints out of the room*

Grim: Hey! I need those clothes!

The chase still happens like in the canon storyline, but with some parkour stunts and losing Grim until later in the Library.

Crowley was almost knocked down while he came into scene, but you know you can’t sneak up on a former assassin.

MC/Yuu (plus Grim after he was captured by “The Whips of Love”) were dragged into the Dorm Sorting Ceremony and the same disaster happens.

MC/Yuu: *Witnessing a mess after under a minute* …This is crazier than seeing Morris the first time.

They brought Grim in as an emotional support buddy since their childhood wasn’t too good.

[Campus]

MC/Yuu: *Blocks an attack and knocks out the Savanaclaw student* I told you to stop, but you didn’t listen. I mean, what were you proving? Your large physique or that attitude?

Ace: Whoa! How did you do that?

MC/Yuu: I was trained to be an assassin in a clan called The Ten Rings. They’re not good people and last time I was with them, Wenwu was tracking down his son after he left.

[During Chapter 1]

Trey: Thanks for coming with me, MC/Yuu. I could use a set of hands.

MC/Yuu: No problem. If it saves Ace from being a “magicless student”, then he doesn’t have to complain about my living situation.

Trey: Yeah, it’s for the next Unbirthday Party. I just needs some over from that tree.

MC/Yuu: Okay. That sounds easy.

Trey: Careful, they have an outer shell covered in spikes. I provide some gloves-

MC/Yuu: *Kicks the tree which shook off some chestnuts* This enough for the tart?

Trey: *Surprised* Huh. They are enough.

[Back in the Heartslabyul kitchen]

MC/Yuu: Wenwu talked about some wannabe who was impersonating him as The Mandarin, the leader of the Ten Rings. Anyway, I found out he’s reintroduced to his career of becoming an actor.

Deuce: *Curious* When did that happened?

MC/Yuu: Oh, when Shang-Chi, Katy and I were looking for Xialing after she was imprisoned.

Deuce: Oh.

[During Chapter 2]

MC/Yuu: *Fighting against Overblot!Leona* Is this what you want?! *Pulls out replicates of the Ten Rings* You sore fighter!

Ace: Beat his ass, MC/Yuu!!!

Deuce: Careful, Prefect!

Jack: Don’t kill him!

MC/Yuu:

Overblot!Leona: *Falls back from the impact and spat out the Blot stone*

Everyone: OH!!!

Ruggie: Ya didn’t have to knock him unconscious!

MC/Yuu: I’m sorry! I’m still getting use to the rings.

[Karaoke Night at the Monstro Lounge]

MC/Yuu = Red Lyrics

Cater = Orange Lyrics

[Run It - DJ Snake (Ft. Rich Brian & Rick Ross)]

MC/Yuu: I picked a perfect song to start tonight.

Cater: Go for it, MC/Yuu-chan/kun!

[Song starts]

MC/Yuu: You can join in, too.

Cater: Alright! #KaraokeDuet

Uh, rollin' in impalas but you too tame

I ain't from the South, but I appreciate the wood grain

Neighbor callin' me about the noise it's only two, man

Now I'm in the same building but the floors and view changed

I ain't for the waitin' now

I bought a 'Rari and I did it just to hear the sound

Drive safe really 'boutta lose all it's meaning now

Guess you love to travel when I pull up man you're leaving town

Say you're married to the game, and I'm just here to burn the gown

I got a flight in the morning

I see what you been tryna do and I'ma mission abort it

You think I never pay attention in my mind I'm recording

I'm 'bout to win and ruin all your goals and dreams out of boredom

Ridin' around with homies like we run the city (done it)

Lookin' fresh and feelin' like a milli (money)

Move in silence, you can never hear me (comin')

If you got a problem when you see me (run it)

Run it

DJ Snake

Rozay, woah

Bang, tryna show you what we came to do (huh)

Boss, only talkin' makin' major moves

Rolls Royce, no top, me

No one will ever stop me

Me against the world, I got my back against the wall (woah)

Know I'm hell bound (woah)

But I'm well now (woah)

On the road to riches I could never lay around (woah)

Told her don't make a sound unless she make it loud (ah)

Everybody scream (everybody scream)

Everybody scream (everybody scream)

Everybody scream (everybody scream)

That's my only thing (yes)

I'm a born winner

A Jordan 23 (woo)

All my people G's until the party ceased

Ace: *In the audience* Do a flip!

MC/Yuu: *Performs the impressive stunt*

[Cater attempts to flip, but flops instead.]

Cater: *Falls on his back* Ow…

MC/Yuu: Oh shit. You okay?

Cater: *Looks up at MC/Yuu* Did you get that on MagiCam?

MC/Yuu: Oh my god.

Epel: You are so cool! How can I fight like you? Y’know, like the punching, kicking, and parkour stuff.

MC/Yuu: Uhh…it takes years to perform everything. But it’s not too late starting your journey.

Epel: What should we start with?

MC/Yuu: *Holds up a wooden board* Break it. Use whatever strength you possess and maybe we’ll start from there.

[Within a second, Epel breaks the board with his palm. Except he received 5 splinters.]

MC/Yuu: *Inhales with caution* Vil is gonna kill me.

✨[Reblogs helps creators and creates for more content]💫

[copperbadge]

pagemelt on tiktok did a 2-part video on Stealing Harry! how does it feel knowing how deeply important that fic is to so many people?

As many of you know I am a Fandom Old, and never has there been a moment where I felt older than when I was trying to get onto TikTok to see these videos. Oh man I am so old. But what lovely and thoughtful tiktoks those were! Just truly delightful and a lot to consider.

For those of you who are curious and/or very new to tiktok as I am, here are the videos:

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRMAErfP/

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMRMAt3df/

Hopefully those will load in browser, but I can't make promises. Anyway, I had many thoughts but I'm not really a video guy, so I wrote this here and I'm going to drop a link to Pagemelt and hopefully she will see it!

I have a lot of feelings, most of the time, surrounding Stealing Harry; as odd as it is to say it really was a defining moment in my life, though I didn't see that for many years.

In terms of being influential or meaningful to others, of course I'm extremely proud and touched, and so glad I could offer such positivity. Writers do their craft for a lot of reasons, but I've always wanted to write in order to interact with others -- to touch people or teach people or offer them my opinion, although this wasn't as consciously vocalized when I was younger. To have written something with the impact of Stealing Harry, especially at the age of 24, was a real accomplishment for me, but the kind that is mainly seen looking back -- it's the kind of feeling that comes of years of compilation, for lack of a better word, of conversations with others about the work. At the time it was very popular and that felt extremely good, of course, but I didn't understand why.

In some ways I still don't -- I also have a lot of bafflement when it comes to the story, because why THAT story, at THAT moment, and still today? I've had guesses before -- people love a kidfic, and there's plenty of romance and sex, and much of the fic is a sort of emotional hurt/comfort -- but I do feel as though Pagemelt put her finger on something in that regard which I hadn't fully considered.

Her take on Stealing Harry is extremely cogent and thoughtful, particularly since she's looking back at the fic as a reader and really thinking about the experience. Like, bisexual representation that wasn't stigmatized was really important for her, and I think perhaps both Remus being secure in his love as a gay man and Sirius being truly uncertain about his sexuality as someone who has had romantic/sexual relationships with women and strong feelings for men really spoke to people. Struggling with identity or with knowing your identity but feeling attacked for it, and also wanting that security in identity, I can see how the adult relationships in Stealing Harry could speak to people. I'm so very glad they have.

I also think she were spot-on about her discussion of some of the flaws in the story. It WAS written fifteen years ago and the environment in fandom was different. Certainly I love to write a strong redemption arc, so I would have added more nuance to Snape's had I had the reading of Half Blood Prince beforehand, but I think I still would have written it. That said, she's not wrong that there was a strong shift in fandom attitudes towards Snape based on HBP, though it took a few years after the end of the series, at least in my experience, for that to arrive.

I hadn't really thought about the name issues, with Tonks; she was definitely read as queercoded even at the time she first appeared in canon, but specifically trans-coded readings for Tonks weren't as visible and trans headcanons for characters in general, while I'm sure they existed, weren't vocalized as much, for perhaps self-evident reasons given how much transness was respected (or rather, not respected) in fandom at the time. People not always respecting Tonks' name in Stealing Harry does land differently today. It's something I, to my dismay, wouldn't have consciously thought of if I were writing the story today, the idea that respecting Tonks' chosen name was an important gesture to trans readers, so I appreciate having that pointed out.

Though, I am a little proud that, subconsciously, I did sort that out as a current writer -- I don't know if Pagemelt knows that I'm rewriting the story into an original fiction, but in the original-fiction version Tonks is very much gender-questioning and their name and how the adults can help them through it is a whole entire subplot -- Remus finds out about the shift in names, asks Andromeda about it, draws his own conclusions, and then speaks to a canonically trans character about who should (or if they should) offer to be a sympathetic older queer presence in their life.

So overall, I'm feeling quite proud both of myself and Pagemelt, delighted that Stealing Harry continues to be considered a classic text, and not unsatisfied that people are looking at it critically. As you all know from my original work I don't enjoy being told my works' flaws but I do like knowing them so that I can continue to learn and grow as a writer, and Pagemelt said some things that I think will stick with me as I continue. Plus it has made me want to get back into work on the Ozyverse, the adaptation of Stealing Harry, so once I'm no longer traveling with a bluetooth keyboard and an ancient tablet as my primary mode of communication I will get on that....

[danhoemei]

Hi, danhoemei.....if you don't mind me asking who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (canon or non-canon)? Sorry if you've answered this question before......Thanks....

Hello thanad-zid, the curious sweetheart 💚 I don't mind at all, you actually made me think about the series I haven't thought about for so long! (I'll answer excluding danmei because that's material for a whole separate post and I partly answered that)

19 days by Old Xian - tianshan

(and zhanyi who I love with my whole heart but tianshan is The One for me akjvsbdv)

Tough on the outside but soft on the inside delinquent and the devilish lonely rich boy who'll go batshit crazy if his friends are in danger. Both of them learning to trust and very slowly showing their vulnerable sides to each other.... I can't say much, it's already a spoiler that they become closer because in the story they start as strangers or even "enemies". They're also secondary characters so they make appearance later in the story and gradually gain more importance (well, it started with them being secondary but tbh now they're one of the main characters with a lot of focus AND I AM SO HAPPY). But anyway, I am absolutely obsessed with them.

The original main pair (zhanyi) has completely different dynamic and vibe, but I love them and enjoy their story and relationship very much as well <3

This series has such variety of multilayered characters who honestly could have their own separate manhuas. I absolutely recommend 19 days, it started like absolute crack but gained so much depth and action and angst and questioning yourself and 'am I abnormal for having feelings for you' and trust and progress in relationships and-

I love this manhua so much, please read it, if you enjoy danmei you'll enjoy it.

Their story by Tan Jiu

You want a sweet story about a lesbiab who fell in love at first sight and then pursued her love interest, firstly becoming friends and learning about each other, everything among a lot of humor and shenanigans? Well here you go.

Brooklyn 9-9 - Jake and Amy & Friends - Monica and Chandler

I see similarities so I put them together lmao. They are wholesome and sweet, support each other no matter what, work for their dreams and for people they hold dear. The guys are hella funny but also very smart and cool, the girls are intense and ambitious and need to have everything under control but are also very sweet and loving. The shows are light and hilarious, good as a stress relief.

The Good Place - Chidi and Eleanor

First of all I recommend The Good Place in general, a wild ride of unexpected twists and turns, each reveal more “whaaat” than the previous one, with diverse representation and filled with philosophical questions and lessons, created by people who love philosophy. Its humor is incredible as well akjvndfv

Chidi and Eleanor are complete opposites - a nerd with severe anxiety issues who spent his whole life buried in books, and a bi disaster who partied hard, made a lot of bad things, and cared mostly about herself. They learn from each other and complement each other, all the while growing and changing right in front of our eyes.

Aggretsuko - Retsuko and Haida

HAIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA im love him your honor. Get a partner who can do both (be sweet and supportive, be badass and taking no bullshit). I truly believe they'd be happy and just right for each other, and I want them to be together 😭😭

Yuri on ice - Yuri and Victor

akhdbsdjkfnlsdf if you watched this then you know why. I recommend it if you want a good quality lgbt anime with an interesting story, diverse characters, and beautiful skating scenes 💚 I love this wholesome duo so much T^T

Svvord of Truth - Richard and KahIan

I kinda feel like I owe it to them to mention them here, probably my earliest couple on this list. It’s an old high fantasy series which I read when I plunged straight into puberty, I haven't read it as a more mature person so I wonder if there are some harmful stereotypes I didn't see or how many typical tropes there are (well e.g. the main guy is so ridiculously overpowered and smarter/holier-than-thou, and there is a lot of black and white there) but also it’s a really complex world with interesting mechanics. However, what truly makes me remember this series fondly is because it was there with me when I was going through a lot of hardships, showing me a rich world with many people worth loving, strong women who I admired and strived to be, wise people of different backgrounds, cultures, and ages. It taught me how important it is to be kind and compassionate, that no matter how desperate your situation can get there is always hope and a way, that people who care about you will be there for you when you need them, and that you need to reciprocate as well. To always “think about the solution, not about the problem” which became the thing I repeat to myself every time I start struggling. The main couple also showed me what I want to strive for in a good relationship - support, understanding, standing by each other’s side no matter what, deep respect for each other and treating each other as equals, working for the relationship, and most importantly trusting each other. The series might be a typical high fantasy but for my growing and messed up mind it was a good teacher who reminded me of things we consider obvious but tend to forget, and might have played a significant role in who I am now.

Ok, I wanted to add a short bullet-point list of some other couples but this list is already long so let’s end here xd

[persephoneyss]

Doomeds.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x f! Reader. Ft. Bts.

Genre: Yandere, dark themes, anguish, suspense.

Summary: ❝We are doomeds, wandering in eternal suffering.❞

Warnings: Yandere behavior, obsession, stalking / stalking on cameras, humiliation, unspecified forced marriage, n*n-c*n explicit sexual relations (on the reader), abuse of power, implicit murder, drug use, kidnapping, hitting, manipulation, dating previous trauma, alcoholism and depression (in Yoongi), accusations of infidelity, dub-con (in Yoongi's case), the reader is in school but is of legal age, death threats, really strange facts. Possibly this would qualify as dark fantasy since everything is so unrealistic.

Number of words: 10,000+

︙Author's note: *sighs* This is the longest fic I've ever written, and I honestly don't know how it turned out because I didn't read it twice like I always do before publishing it. But my beautiful baby helped me correct, I hope you enjoy it and please read the warnings well, I do not want lawsuits. Thanks for being here!

(Sorry for any mistakes, my first language is not English and I am not fluent either.)

Puedes leer este fic y más aquí en español.

If they ever had to ask the reality of events it would be ... Unbelievable. Thinking of how just a simple action changes everything in an already established and perfect environment.

A life.

Your minutes, hours and days were the same under your criteria and eyesight, you study in the mornings, you work in the afternoons and you attend to your homework at night. It was a good routine that used to be repetitive at times, it was fun to follow, even more so in your part-time job.

You could meet many people working in one of the best cafes in the city, your classmate insisted too many times that you work with her saying that could recommend you and you should not even pass a test, they would only accept you for her.

It was a good opportunity and you accepted it with a smile, although she was long gone from work, you were still grateful for the good salary and health insurance that they gave you every month.

"An American coffee with a spoon of sugar and a green tea cake with cream on top." Your mouth and hand move in sync, the client nods silently. You smile, pointing out other details before asking what name you would give the order.

With a sigh, he name came out like a gust of light wind. "Min... Min Yoongi."

You write his name on the screen, the little receipt paper comes out of the machine. You hand it to him by brushing his hand with yours, strangely cold and pale. A chill runs through you but you ignore it, continuing with your work.

"Good Morning _____!" One of the employees greets you kindly, you correspond still concentrated on serving the mysterious stranger's coffee. "Do you have a request for me?"

"Oh, uh... Yeah, this is for table four."

Yun smiles taking the tray with Yoongi's coffee and cake, arriving at his table. The man's expression can be dazzled even under his black mask that covers half of his face, his eyes look for you before colliding with you. YYou refuse to play along, continuing with your work, you had a lot to do and wasting time flirting wouldn't really help you make money.

However, it became pointless trying to ignore him when he kept coming back day after day. Week after week. Tormenting your head, Yoongi was not the first nor the last handsome man you would see coming often, your work establishment was literally in a strategic area and not cheap, you knew that many men and women with money frequented them to drink a coffee or eat some delicacy, even sometimes they only came in to sit for a few hours attending to their affairs over the phone.

It was fine, it was comfortable. You weren't expecting too much, sitting behind a counter, always having to fake a smile despite being tired.

Perhaps it was the constant visits that led you to start a conversation with him. You had about an hour of rest, you prefer to spend those few moments sitting in front of the window of the premises eating any cake that was a few days before expiring to avoid paying for consumption, you felt comfortable in that place that seemed so far from all the other clients.

Until his voice interrupted once, he seemed as calm as ever. His gaze lost from you elsewhere avoiding making contact with you, nervous apparently. His rough and austere tone was changed to a bolder and lower one, asking if he could sit next to you for a few minutes.

"Sure, sit down... he's not busy." It was your answer without having any problem in sharing your place so secret, so comfortable. It was still just as safe even with him present.

And in much the same way, everything became a silent routine. You heeded his order, you took your rest next to him and then you both left at one point. The talks became more common, he being the first to ask about such insignificant things as the rise in the market in the country and how prices should start to rise in coffee as well.

You laughed, you really did it by getting his attention and sharing your reaction.

They both started laughing at how strange it all started, and it was always the perfect anecdote to tell their friends about how they met.

Everything was perfect, like a painting by a great artist, what you would see would be beautiful and cheerful colors, adorning both of you possibly holding hands with a smile and a loving expression from the man who was now your partner. Her pale skin and angelic face represented on beautiful thin paper, presented to the world as a painting that reflected a symbol of love between two souls met in a casual cafe and who wanted each other so much. Too much.

Yoongi was the clear representation of an ethereal person, casual and elegant, polite and kind, protective but not possessive. Simply to the target.

Your routine didn't change much after starting your relationship, you kept walking to your school in the mornings, you attended the cafeteria in the afternoons and you rested at night. Perhaps the only significant thing that you would get out of your boring schedule was your boyfriend's proposal about moving with him to the house of his best friend, almost a brother as he described it, and avoiding paying for your little apartment. You had made one and a thousand excuses, making Yoongi shut them all up.

"Jin is my brother, he would never take advantage of us. I already mentioned the proposal, about you... I have been living there for a few weeks, I assure you that you will be like family."

Family?

Your face relaxed for a few seconds, you had abandoned that feeling and sensation long ago since you moved from your home in your native country. Your mother used to call you every night but little by little that habit was lost, she also had her own problems and being aware of you as if you were a child was ridiculous.

"It's fine." It was your final decision, nervously you moved your hands in the air explaining what you would not accept.

Do not invade your privacy.

You had spent days thinking about how to introduce yourself to them, because apparently there would be more than just Jin, Yoongi and you in that house. Your things were scattered in boxes, you stood in the middle of the almost empty room still nervous about meeting new people and friends of your boyfriend.

That they were now family. Literally family.

The moving truck was parked in front of a large house, it had two stories and an incredibly large garden. More like a forest than an ordinary garden, you got out of the car trying to clean your clothes as much as possible and look presentable. Although it was difficult when your whole body was covered in dust after lifting the boxes.

"I'm not ready, Yoon." You say, containing your anxiety that vibrates to the surface of the skin within you.

Her hand gently brushed your cheek, giving you a bit of reassurance. "You look beautiful, they will accept you anyway." Her lips came up to yours, giving you a quick and soft kiss. "I just remember that I love you, and I know all my brothers will too because you are perfect."

You thanked the little compliment in a whisper, the door of the house opened just after the two of them left, you automatically showed a friendly smile approaching the first person to leave. He was a tall and rather handsome man, he seemed very well dressed to be indoors on a Sunday, more like he was going out to an important business meeting. He looked flawless and elegant.

"The suit was not necessary, Nam!" Shouted your boyfriend behind you mocking, the man laughed showing all the charm of him to your eyes.

"I'm Namjoon, Yoongi's friend. Nice to meet you... _____, right?"

"Yes, it's me. Sorry to see me so disastrous, it was a tiring day with the move."

Namjoon seemed like a very nice and incredibly understanding guy, his presence made you want to meet your boyfriend's other friends. You opened the door entering the house after Yoongi asked you to find your room to start carrying the other things, Namjoon stayed behind to help him, leaving you alone on your unknown route. You walk all over the place and you are surprised that you only walked through the living room, your eyes straying to a noise in the kitchen.

Curious.

You ignore it, continuing your way up, you read every name on the doors. Jin, Namjoon, Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung, and Jungkook. All written brilliantly on each different door, you walk a few steps to one that says your name and you thank it with a sigh.

You weren't surprised by how big it was, everything inside that place seemed to be exorbitant and out of the ordinary.

"Oh, it must be you." You are surprised to hear a voice behind you, you turn around in fear before remaining calm. You recognized her face from a photo Yoongi had on her phone.

"Jimin?" You ask with fear of being wrong.

"It's me, it's nice to finally meet you. Jin-hyung said you're moving in a few days, I didn't think it would be so soon." His voice seemed to be calm but there was a hidden question. Why? Why were you there?

You take a few uncomfortable steps back. "It really was, but ... I thought it would be better to do it today that I don't have classes, plus Yoongi doesn't work this day and it seemed like the right thing to do. I'm sorry if bother you."

"No you don't. it's okay, Welcome." With that one simple word he left.

You thought you would have a longer talk with him but you weren't expecting too much, they didn't even know each other and you plan to chat with him like they were old acquaintances. Well, naive.

It seemed strange to you that no one else showed up in the whole house, even when you were uploading the last boxes of the move no one seemed to be a little curious to meet you. Aside from the already friendly Namjoon and the reserved Jimin.

"Yoon" You get his attention, he smiles at you taking the sheets out of your suitcase and making your makeshift bed ready for the night. "Do your friends work today?"

"I guess so, they really don't spend a lot of time together or at home." Explain without noticing your downcast face. You nod, putting the issue aside and concentrating your eyes on arranging your clothes. "Hey... Okay, you can meet them all at dinner today."

Your chest clenches in anguish, "Dinner?!"

"Yes, darling. It's the only time they meet all day, when Jin-hyung cooks for us especially on days like these where we have pleasant surprises."

You purse your lips annoyed, Yoongi smiles kissing your forehead so carefully and lovingly that it melts your senses. The mere presence of him made you want to continue with him forever, you relax for a few seconds hugging his body in silence. They both stay like this, with nothing to say but telling each other everything at the same time.

The thought of ever letting go scares you.

You wait several hours, still sitting in the same place where Yoongi left you. You should be presentable for dinner, you take a quick shower before running to change into a nice comfortable dress, you try not to overdo it but also not show disinterest. From the stairs you hear everyone's mixed voices, chatting animatedly.

"Honey, come here." Yoongi watches you, being the only one to notice that you were peeking in the shadows still unsure of interrupting.

You say hello by walking a few steps until you reach your boyfriend's side, you present yourself the best you can. Everyone falls silent, Namjoon smiles at you just like he did before. Jin interrupts the moment where no one seemed to have anything to say about you, or if he wants to want to introduce himself.

"Today we have a special guest, the dear girlfriend of our brother. I introduce myself, I am Jin the official cook of this family." His body bends down with an exaggeratedly long bow, proud of his words. Jimin rolls his eyes, while his other siblings just choose to tease. "On Yoongi's orders we made her favorite dish, so I don't want any complaints of any kind about the food. I'm looking at you Jungkook."

You are surprised how well everything is going, you feel praised when your favorite food is in front of you. She looked just as elegant, as if you were eating in a five-star restaurant and at a luxurious table with silk tablecloths.

Jungkook still stayed away from the talks, preferring to eat quietly and fiddle with his phone. Hoseok was more animated, asking about you and exaggerating anecdotes that happened with his childhood friends. He moved you that he will still remember all that after years. Namjoon vaguely drew your attention with book recommendations when you commented on your love of reading, Jin quietly continued eating in complete tranquility, Jimin thanked the food and just left.

Taehyung... He seemed interesting to you, he was looking at you all the time with narrowed eyes and when Jimin got up and walked away, he followed closely with a small and almost hidden smile.

You had a strange feeling inside what they called home.

"I-I... I need to use the bathroom." You say goodbye by wiping your lips with a napkin before quickly walking behind them both. Something attracted you to want to know more, as if they were leaving clues knowing that curiosity killed the cat and that you wanted to be the one.

Your steps were quiet, even more so when you tried not to be noticed . You went upstairs listening to their voices whispering and then... An obscene moan was clearly heard, Jimin seemed to laugh in the air.

Your hands shook thinking of opening the door and seeing what was happening. And without knowing it, you had fallen into the same network of attraction as them.

You curse yourself biting your tongue and cheek until they bleed, sure that you were going to make a big and heavy mistake. Minutes later you are going down the stairs back to the table but no one is waiting for you anymore, the table was just as spotless and clean. You are pleasantly surprised to learn that they don't treat you like a guest and that they don't wait too long for you. Maybe they had things to do, however you feel a chill when silence comes.

Where were?

You look around the yard, but no one is outside. Neither in the kitchen and less in the room where you had already walked twice. You catch the sound of drums in your ears rumbling loudly, you close your eyes in a daze for a few seconds until in an instant it goes away, and then everything comes back to itself. You hear their voices upstairs, chatting animatedly for the second time.

"Where were you sweetie? Are you okay?"

You nod still confused. How did they... When was that... You were really fine? You refuse to fall into paranoia and lie down next to Yoongi, as they continue their conversation with each other. Your head keeps spinning with the fresh memories you have, but they seem to disappear second by second and it scares you, you open your eyes without wanting to fall asleep yet but it is as difficult as breathing.

You fall into the dark abyss of sleep, feeling the same chill.

Your gaze is lost in the gray sky, you are cold and your body is swaying. Your eyes move restlessly observing that you are under the snow and a person holds you in his arms through the forest, walking at a slow and safe pace.

It's fine. Are you okay.

Wake up. Yoongi greets you from the door of your now room, you try to regulate your breathing thinking that he would notice your overwhelmed state and he would worry, but no. He is as calm as ever, relaxed even.

"Good morning beautiful, it's time for breakfast. Jin-hyung made your favorite." And with that last sentence she is shifting away, closing the door behind he.

You go down the stairs ready to go, your backpack resting on your shoulder. The table is just as full as at dinner, Jimin seemed very tired trying not to fall asleep, you watch him for a few seconds before looking at Taehyung who ignores you taking his cup of ... Coffee. You approach making him recoil alarmed and disgusted, you check the cup realizing that it is the same recipe that you use in the cafeteria.

Like them?

You look up noticing that, you were uncomfortable, Taehyung takes a few steps away from your body almost leaning against his, still sitting in his chair. You apologize to him making me sigh irritated, still ashamed you apologize again without eating or serving anything, just leaving through the front door.

Your journey is reflective. You forget, dream and recognize, that was the pattern you were following, everything seemed so strange and deep down gloomy, you feel the already casual chill running through your entire body almost like a warning.

Your seat in class was empty waiting, ready for you. Ari greets you, being your table companion and friend.

"Hey, intense night?" She jokes, you look shaking his head. She laughs pointing your neck. "You have... something there."

She frowns even more confused, her face leaves her smile aside and she starts looking at her things until she takes out a small mirror and she hands it to you. You look with horror at a large red bruise painting on your skin, it seemed painful but you had not even noticed or felt it. You touch it still scared and nothing, it doesn't hurt or it seems real.

You take a deep breath before lying with silly chatter, "I had an accident, but I'm fine. I had forgotten I was there, it was nothing serious."

Ari seems worried but in the end she forgets it by returning to the same kind and joking attitude of her, but her gaze drops from second by second to your neck making you cover yourself uncomfortable. Who? It can't be Yoongi, he was always very calm in that regard. You think terrified, your hand goes up to touch it and this time you manage to feel a sharp pain.

You have to cover it with the collar of your shirt so that no customer will notice it and avoid staining the reputation of the cafeteria, you smile nervously taking orders as fast as you can and avoiding looks. Yun greets you like every day, arriving at his work time. You spend hours begging for the clock to advance faster, the night sky appears and the doors close, you clear the last counter before you can finally show your neck again and breathe.

"That's a big problem." Yun whispers looking at the horrible mark, you nod with a sigh giving the same stupid excuse you told Ari. "You should use a little makeup to cover it up, I think it will help you a lot."

You think about it for a few seconds before deciding what you would do. You bow to him with a bow after he offered to close in your place and finish the remaining work for you.

You come home with a smile, you greet Namjoon who is reclining on the couch in the living room watching something on TV. You wait a few seconds but you do not receive a small or accidental look, you approach a few steps to repeat it again but you only get him to get up and go upstairs closing the door of his room apparently with a door slam. What the hell? You think covering your face with your hands looking for some comfort.

Everything was happening inside you, it was like a whirlpool sweeping away your sanity. Were you going crazy? Or you were just thinking a lot about nothing.

You try to draw a picture of your situation, but the only thing that repeats is the constant painting of Yoongi and you together.

"Yoongi!" You say to yourself with a smile, you drop your backpack running towards his room, wanting to see him after such a day.

Your hopes fade like air, everything within the space him screams 'he', but he is not there. You check the safe time that he should be home at that moment. You hear Jin's voice screaming from below about dinner ready, you sigh losing your appetite at those moments.

You lie on your bed checking your cell phone in case there was a message from Yoongi warning about he delay but nothing. You feel empty for some strange reason, but there was nothing different about it now.

If I had been more attentive and conscientious, you would have noticed that two more people other than Yoongi and you were missing from the table. Jin smiles sitting in his same place leaving your plate not caring without you being there with them, his smile never fades even when all his brothers are sitting silently eating and looking at your empty place so intensely that it was terrifying, he squeezes the cutlery in his hand without wanting to break the tradition in his family.

Dinners are sacred and no one should be missing. There will be no discussions or complaints, that's what the rest of the time is for.

That was what her mother said, sitting at the table in her old home containing her anger at seeing her husband so calm after having been unfaithful once more. Not on the table, not on the table.

Not on the table, honey.

Jimin opened the last bottle with a little satisfaction, poured another glass before handing it to his friend who was only glaring at the ground.

"She's not like that... I know her." Repeating the same stupid prayer for hours, Taehyung rolled his eyes trying to calm his annoyance, looking at his other friend insisting that he help him.

"Yoongi-hyung you saw it yourself, she had that... That mark. you didn't do it, maybe Tae is right and she-..."

"Not!" I scream interrupting what to him were lies. "_____ she's my girlfriend, she's not like that. I know her ... she loves me! She loves me! Do you understand?" Says exalted, holding the shirt of his friend who closed his mouth immediately, Jimin noticed that same reflection of anger in him and knew it was better to leave it for now.

Taehyung pushed the drunk Yoongi away from his side, making him release him and repeat the same phrase as in his state, he tried to believe himself.

The door to your room was opened and the smell of alcohol invaded you, making you look disgusted. You closed your eyes without wanting to see him, his body fell to the side of your bed approaching your body so slowly that the anxiety inside you doubled.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered.

His hands rested around you, giving you that warmth so familiar and comfortable in your gray days. A sob was heard while you lost yourself in your own thought, you watch it melt into your arms crying and without wanting to tell you why.

"It hurts." It's the only thing it says. But... Why?

You wake up. Just like a week ago, days had passed and it seemed like your skin kept accumulating horrible marks all over the place. You even went to consult a doctor but he only insisted that something... Or someone did them with such fury that it was incredible that a piece of skin will not be torn off by the force of his suction.

You touched the last mark that came, it was dangerously close to your crotch, you try to hide the others with makeup but they were still visible at a short distance.

You went down the stairs to see them all again, you greet with regret taking the first thing you find. Your mug had your name written on it, it was a rather curious gift from Jin after your melancholic night with Yoongi days ago, he apologized explaining that he felt bad after hearing all the sobs and apologies. For a moment you thought it was something exaggerated but he kept insisting that he felt bad about himself, not with Yoongi who was almost his brother or with you, with him.

You accepted it without wanting to show your dislike for his selfishness and narcissism, thanking him so softly that he hardly heard you.

The special drink that morning was coffee... Americano. You felt insecure to drink it, and you just put it aside.

Same recipe.

Yoongi looked at you for a few seconds before smiling fondly, and you just looked away, leaving him with a confused face as you walk out the door so quickly that he can hardly feel you.

He sighed before being drawn to Jimin's grin-adorned face, he shrugged, hinting at his silent opinion. She is not faithful to you Yoongi, why do you keep waiting for something good? Only looks at her body, her attitude and who she surrounds herself with, it is a classic of womens. You will know that she is a fox hidden under her sheepsuit, just observing her more and you never leave her.

The marks on your body, your cold attitude made him more and more suspicious and fall for Taehyung's profound words. She bit his lip, refusing to spy on your life away from him... Out of his sight.

But he really wasn't doing anything wrong, just observing. In his now dirty head, everything was valid if he could know the truth.

You did the same thing you always told him on his nights where they stayed up talking about his heavy days. You went to school, to work, and then home. Nothing changed your version.

I try to focus on your friends, there was only one girl you spent more time with in your classes and after them. He researched everything about his life, but he had nothing to worry about after learning that he had a boyfriend. He passed your work, standing outside for hours waiting to see you do something dirty or guilty, but you never seemed to move.

You just served the orders and then kindly said goodbye to the customers. He felt guilty for doing something so low to you, until he saw you.

To you.

Your smile grew when one of the workers who was your partner approached your place in the box to whisper something in your ear, you left your place following him towards the warehouse.

Anger consumed him quickly, refusing to continue standing there observing the obvious, possibly he was being irrational and he knew it but the constant insinuations of Jimin. The conversations with Taehyung, his words, his suspicions, the pleased looks from they when he fell back at his feet asking them to tell him what to do with you.

With his damn relationship.

Where were you and him. Not them. You and he.

He opened the door to your room and started going through your things like a degenerate, something must have made him sure that you were cheating on him. Something, a letter, a note, a gift from him, or a simple cheap jewel.

This was your Yoongi? You were clearly looking at another subject.

"Yoon..." You started, his eyes coldly piercing you. He looked different, he was looking at you but you didn't feel safe being so close. "What are you doing?"

"What do you think I do?" He asked how else he will not point to the obvious, for a moment you thought that even if it was, out of respect or dignity, he would try to deny it or find another explanation for his actions so offensive to you. "Where is?"

"Where is what?" You claim, starting to get angry, his eyes leave you again as he continues searching through your drawers, dropping everything to the floor with thudding noises. You get closer trying to push it away but you only get rejection. "Stop it, Yoongi."

"Not until you say so."

You freeze without knowing what he meant by the latter, you take his arm to stop him but you only receive a push that makes you back away this time scared by the force of his attack. "Enough!" You claim this time by making him look at you with his cold eyes. "I don't know what you're talking about and why you're doing this, but enough."

"Then say it..." You shout again that you don't know what he wants you to say, you even curse furiously making him come closer to support your shoulders with his hands bringing you closer to his face. "Say it damn it! Say you're cheating on me with that bastard son of a bitch!"

You feel the pain of his grip, you sob, begging him to release you but are ignored as he continues to ask you to say so. You refuse to lie, especially with something so degrading.

Jin hears the screams as he continues serving the dinner desserts, Jungkook strangely puts aside his phone for a few minutes to thank him with a small toast and a smile that was rarely seen on him.

"The dessert tonight is sweeter than usual."

Jimin raises his glass with a bright smile, Namjoon adjusts his tie tied perfectly around his neck as he sips from his glass, Hoseok laughs eating the delicious cake with enthusiasm.

Curious, a green tea cake with cream on top.

"It's a shame Yoongi-hyung misses out on dessert." Taehyung speaks pretending a pout on his lips, playing with his spoon with the cream on her plate. "It is especially exquisite today."

"Stop playing already, when will you do it? I'm looking forward to getting started." Jin snaps angrily, pushing the cake out of her sight as he drinks from her wine glass.

Jungkook laughs, turning his phone back on to continue playing as usual. "So impatient, hyung." He says he with a click of annoyance.

Jin rolls his eyes, following her gaze to Jimin who is innocently cowering in her chair. Ignoring how completely obsessed Jungkook is with his games, it really was not his business,for something his youngest friend had his parents, who were too busy with their work, they ran the largest electronics factory in the country, leaving his son in the background just giving him everything he asked for without objection. Always showing a smile when little Jungkook came before them demanding a new console or the best phone.

"It only remains to wait..." Whispering, he released a patient Hoseok. His smile as charming as ever. "For her to decide what to do and then... Plot! She fell into the wrong well."

"I hate when you describe and talk like that, but I can't expect much from a Jung... like you."

However, Hoseok never stops smiling even when anger is consuming his mind causing him to clench his fists under the table and bite his tongue inside his mouth, hidden by his gleaming and visible teeth. Namjoon smiles at her, knowing that she managed to provoke him but that she won't do anything to shut him up.

"Pathetic."

Motherfucker.

Jin breaks the tense silence, shushing everyone with a snap. That silence. Nobody hears anything from you or Yoongi, for a moment they feel the anguish that something bad has happened or that his friend has lost a bit ... The hand. But just seconds later you're rushing down, wearing the same clothes and your face covered in tears. You don't even look at them when you run to the door, leaving a trail of emptiness behind you.

"Hm, intense." This is Jungkook speaking, his eyes still lost on the phone screen of him playing a silly online championship. "She will be fine after hours."

"Jungkook is right, now we must move with Yoongi."

Namjoon gets up walking to your room, surprised that everything seems almost the same as it was before their fight.

He smiles when he manages to see his friend laying on the floor sobbing, and like that children's book called Pinocchio, he feels good being that cricket-shaped voice of reason. Only this time that sweet and serene voice, released one and a thousand blasphemies that would contaminate even the most devout by his beliefs.

He managed to convince Yoongi's easy to manipulate mind, blurting out words almost like a song. Playing with the naive self of hes that still lived and breathes inside him.

You had come home after days of spending with Ari and her boyfriend away from him. You really didn't want to set foot in that house again in years, a small irrational part of you believed that it was all his fault, your real problems started when you set foot in that damn place.

You open the door observing the room in the same way, empty. You try not to make yourself feel ready to go to sleep, without having been able to do it in days, but now you doubted that it would be different here.

You remain static in view of everyone, you had forgotten that at that time they were having dinner together. They only met once a day and it had to be right there.

"Good evening, sorry to interrupt." You ignoring Yoongi's gaze that, he's trying not to get too excited about your return, even though she causes he to euphoric whirl. "Carry on, I'll just go to my room."

"Please no, sit with us."

"I'm not well."

"I insist, sit with us. They were difficult days but I know they can fix it." Jin puts a plate in front of one of the empty chairs, you refuse to sit down but you do it out of compromise.

Everyone seems to be exclusively quiet, dinner was gray, like a black and white painting. Remember the first dinner, where everyone seemed to have so much to say and now that was left behind, Jungkook continues to play with his phone sometimes moving his plate by accident, without touching a single silverware with the intention of eating. Jin eats in peace, so slowly that he is strange. Namjoon reads a book in his hand, eating so cleanly that it's amazing.

Hoseok looks at you playfully from time to time, with a smile that almost makes you smile the same. Jimin and Taehyung seem to communicate silently, they both look at each other with slight grimaces and smiles.

"We can talk?" Yoongi whispers, you feel her breath next to you and instinctively you walk away scared. Still hurt by her actions and attitude, you give your vow of silence by standing up and without saying goodbye, you walk up the stairs.

"How rude." Jungkook interrupts, keeping an eye on his screen lighting up his beautiful face. "He didn't even taste the food."

Yoongi looks at Jin, her oldest friend and the one she trusted the most, seeking some advice. But just gets the same treatment as always, a look insisting that go with you and try to fix her mistake.

However, it was late. You had packed a makeshift suitcase by going down as quietly as you could, exiting through the back door like a thief or a fugitive.

You spent days thinking about your cowardly way of running away, but in the same way you felt better and even more so when you did not receive any message from him. Maybe it wasn't that important to him, it hurt but it also relieved you.

You knew it would be awkward to see him in the face again, but you should go back and get your things over with as soon as possible. You naively thought of forming a friendship, a very distant one, but in the end it would be the healthiest thing for both of you.

"______?" Asked the person who opened the door after you barely managed to ring the bell due to nerves, he was clearly confused.

"W-good morning ... Jin." You greet by taking a few steps back to get a better look at it, you had forgotten how tall it was. "Sorry to bother I just wanted to -..."

"Talk to Yoongi? I'm sorry but he's already better without you, he even met someone new." You were surprised by his austere, sour tone and trying to intimidate you. "And you better go, you are not welcome here."

"No ... No, I-I came for my things but I'm glad to know that it's better now, and that ..." The words stayed in your mouth, almost as if it hurt to admit it. "I was able to find someone, I hope we can be friends. Also with you, I'm sorry I left without explaining or saying goodbye properly."

You waited what seemed like ages for her response, and you expected more than a simple nod of the head, letting you pass without a hitch. You searched your room quickly, trying not to have any contact with any of them for now. You opened the door that had your name on it but you were scared by what you found inside, the whole room had been painted blood red, a very dark color that managed to give you such familiar chills.

"What is this? Where are my things?!" You turned around ready to go and claim but the door closed behind you with a stormy noise. You ran to try to open it but it did not move an inch, you searched the whole room for something useful to help you but it was completely empty, and alone.

You sobbed in fear, not understanding what was happening and why it seemed that the walls were getting narrower every second. You fell to the ground, trying to stay calm and without losing your goal, hours and even days passed for you, you waited to hear at least one noise but everything was so quiet that you had to avoid going crazy, you played with your hands trying to distract yourself and think positive things, you had read many books about stressful situations to know that thinking a lot about those things caused even more stress, you lie on the floor sure that a nap will calm everything down, if it was a nightmare you wanted to wake up and if not , you wanted to dream that it was.

A lock, you hear that particular noise and you wake up. You open your eyes as fast as you can lifting your body, the door was slightly open as if someone was exiting. You scream for help but it closes, you fall back into sadness and despair screaming even more for your freedom.

You didn't deserve this.

You look with regret at the delicious food they left for you, for a moment you think about going on a hunger strike but your stomach demands you not to be so stupid. The same would not change anything. Regardless of manners, you eat as fast as you can, dropping quite a bit of food on the ground in your rush.

It had an exquisite taste, and you could recognize it everywhere. It was one of your favorite dishes, you felt disgusted to compare it to your mother's food, but as magnificent as it was, it reminded you so much of her.

You wait for something to happen, but minutes go by in which you just look at nothing, letting your head fly. Thinking of a thousand things, playing with the spoon and singing in a low voice.

You feel hot from one moment to the next, your vision becomes cloudy and the door opens again. You just stay in the same place, you don't care about anything, not even how they hold you by helping you walk into another room.

"You were right, she is very calm now."

You look at him, their faces so familiar and you try to place them, but your head is flying away at that moment. You close your eyes laughing, and drifting into unconsciousness.

You wake up. You open your eyes and you are tied, you struggle with the ropes that hold your arms while the bed below you makes your body bounce. You touch the sheets realizing that they are extremely soft, you are in an unfamiliar room surrounded by scarlet red, with elegant and shimmering decorations. You try to stand up but your legs, like your hands, are tied.

And you're still quiet because of the rag in your mouth.

You fight the bindings furiously, screaming into the cloth as much as you can get sick of being locked up again.

You think of Yoongi, although at that moment it was irrelevant you wonder where she is and if she knew that she was being kidnapped in such a way, would she help you at least? Resignation covers you completely, fighting the bonds again with such force that you feel like they burn your skin every time you move.

You sob, just as he did one fall day.

Yoongi watches you from the monitor in another room, Jin is talking to Namjoon to the side while Jungkook is still sitting in a corner entertaining on her phone. Jimin, Taehyung, and Hoseok seem reluctant to look at each other despite facing each other.

Remember the day, the one in the past, when he met them. Jimin and Taehyung were already friends playing in one of the children's castles, with their hands pretending to be weapons as they ran around. Hoseok was sitting next to his mother, talking and apparently they had a lot to say. Namjoon did not detach from the side of his father who urged him to go up to the games, while Jin was busy collecting Flowers in a basket that his grandmother was holding.

They were all strangers and even more so he, felt out of place surrounded by so many games and away from home. His parents had freed up a whole day to spend together in a decent park, it was several hours of travel from Daegu to Seoul only for his son to play in a beautiful park surrounded by luxurious buildings.

He dropped down next to her mother, hugging her without wanting to let her go.

"Min Yoongi, we didn't take this trip just for you to sit there all day, son."

"I'm scared..." he whispered, biting her lip and hiding her face in the neck of his beloved mother.

"I see... but the games look so much fun. Run and try them, love."

He nodded still uneasy, walking over to one of the swings where he sat rocking so slowly that he seemed still. He felt hands pushing his body from behind, scared he looked at the boy behind him, he had a smile on his face and waved him with a hand.

"Sorry, I thought you needed to be pushed." He spoke and did not seem at all nervous.

"I'm fine, but thank you..." There was a momentary silence before he interrupted again. "I am Yoongi."

"Hoseok, although my mommy calls me Hobi."

He smiled, offering himself this time to push the swing, they spent minutes like this just helping each other take a walk pleasantly. He didn't even think about it when Hoseok offered to talk to Jimin and Taehyung about how they'll all play together in teams.

Now in the present, he smiled again remembering how he met Jin that same day, he had collided with him when he was running so as not to be caught by Jimin. His older friend was flushed with anger, screaming for her flowers and his dirty clothes. His grandmother teased him a bit making him deny even more, he followed Yoongi for several minutes until the chase because of her desire to hit him became a game.

They both fell to the ground tired, laughing before Hoseok introduced himself to Jin. Namjoon arrived shortly after, curious about the commotion and why he had gotten bored of sitting for so long, as he explained later. Besides that his father didn't have the best conversation starters.

He cried so much that very day when he had to go home again, promising to return soon.

"We have everything ready, are you ready?" Jin stood next to him, his eyes looked at him but he couldn't recognize his childhood friend. The same one that he offered to organize his birthday parties when his parents could not afford them, the same one that he never took advantage of his money to lower it. The one who hugged him as many times as he could when he came out of his therapies after his parents died.

Who was this man?

"Y-yes." He murmured still stunned. He got up, following in his footsteps with his head lowered.

They opened the door showing him, you were distracted biting the cloth in your mouth and trying to move your hands to free them.

Your body felt the same repetitive chill making you look at them feeling their presences so... uncomfortable.

"Enough." Jin ordered as you continued your insistent useless movement, trying to free yourself. "I'm not playing around, stop."

Me neither, idiot. You clench your teeth as much as you can at not being able to say it out loud, you stubbornly keep moving even faster than before. Your hair falls on your face from your busy tossing and you stare at him, challenging his patience and judgment.

You try not to tremble when he approaches you with intentions that deep down manage to scare you. But you continue, the bed moves as fast as you do until his hand falls against your cheek causing a gasp to come out of your gagged mouth.

"Hyung!" Yoongi claims holding her hand to prevent her from trying to hit you again, you feel the particular burning on your right cheek and the tears growing back in your eyes. "Please, no blows. That was not what we agreed on."

Jimin cleared his throat, a satisfied smile on his face, "We never specified anything, actually... Yoongi-hyung."

"Jimin is right, you never specified any kind of restriction for her and us." Namjoon clarified making you look at them confused, it was as if they were talking in terms of employment or contract.

But you had never signed anything.

"B-but they can't do that, they'll never accomplish anything if they force her." He tried to persuade him but Jungkook sighed, dropping his phone to the ground and then stepping on it like it was worthless. "She will just hate them."

"She will do it anyway, if we let her off her or try to convince her to stick with sweet words she won't think twice and she will run away ready to report us for kidnapping."

"In addition to the damages that she suffered here." Namjoon continued to condemn Jungkook, uplifting her surname and her family's status.

"You are in this with us or against us, there is still a free place in the basement for you with chains just as heavy."

Again, the same chill ran through you causing you to cringe in your place. These men were insane, they were capable of betraying each other, and worse, they could possibly also consider shooting themselves in the back when they weren't looking at each other. All for you, as if you were some kind of prize for winning and owning.

After moments that seemed eternal, Taehyung was releasing your mouth as you began to complain about what they were doing, how they dared and demanding freedom.

Really a classic, so much so that it was witty and hilarious that you said it literally.

They forced you to kneel on the ground with your hands on your legs still perfectly tied. More questions filled your mouth not knowing what they were planning, all you could do was look at them so scared it was adorable.

"Uh... Well... I guess one should go first." Jin says, taking a few steps away from your crouched figure.

Jimin stepped forward, standing in front of you causing you to look up from your spot below him.

"What are you doing?" You ask weakly, you try to drag yourself away when his hand struggles with his pants to remove it but Jin holds you in place. Getting on his knees to speak into your ear softly.

"You better take a breath instead of trying to run away, honey. I thought you were smarter... hm?" He laughs mocking your scared face, you refuse to open your eyes and mouth making him stop laughing in annoyance.

Jimin sighs taking your face in his hands so roughly that they will surely leave a purple mark on your skin. He was still dressed, I was hoping I could humiliate you more and then fuck your mouth until you suffocate while his hyung explains everything to you. How it all started, his obsession, his plan, they had planned everything so perfect that it was terrifying, everything monopolized on one board.

Soon as soon as possible you will just be a cute housewife and you will forget your life before that day. Not for nothing did they have a closet full of cheerful and homely outfits ready for you, they wanted to destroy you and then put you back together just to serve them.

You would be his wife, of everyone.

"Come on, little bitch..." Jimin started, reaching over to kiss you on the lips even though you refused to do so. You really no longer had a vote or a word of objection in his plans. "Open your eyes darling, you don't want a stray bullet to land in your mother's skull, do you?" He threatened making you obey even more scared than before.

"P-please don't hurt my mother!" You sob, clasping your tied hands in supplication.

"Oh, we won't.... yet." He whispered kissing your lips one last time before imposing himself on your kneeling body. Her cock came out of her pants, stroked a few times before guiding it to your lips. Your stomach contracted, and you pulled your face away as far as you could before Hoseok held you by the hair tightly pulling you close again. "Take it, baby. Everything will be fine if you just obey."

"I hate them, they disgust me" You whisper before Jin forced you to open your mouth making you take it, you fight for a few seconds but her hips are already moving making you choke and gasp. His moans are so loud they make you squirm but his hands hold your head close to him.

"I told you you'll take a breath, but you're a dumb whore." His breath is hitting your neck directly, your skin crawling trying to distract you from anything other than Jimin's cock in your throat causing you to gag and vomit. "I bet you're wondering why, what did you do, and nothing really. Or if Yoongi!"

You do not look at your boyfriend before, you only focus on Jin who smiles, caressing your body with his hands, almost exceeding your limits. However, what did it matter if he did it, there was nothing you could do for yourself.

"You were only here, I think we all loved you from the first moment we saw you. We spent many nights wondering what was special about you, many of us had dated women before but you... You were so different, you had something that attracted us and it made us go crazy. " His hands squeezed your breasts causing you to gasp on Jimin's cock who moaned with pleasure, continuing his steady and hard rhythm. "Taehyung got involved in the matter. "

Jimin smirked when your eyes went up to him, your eyes showing how angry and helpless you felt. And it was exquisite.

"I bet you didn't know about your beloved boyfriend's background,locked up in a rehab center for alcoholics for two years. Three years taking therapy for his depression after the tragic death of his parents, quite strong actually." His words had such a strong past but from his mouth they came out as if it were not so important. Something common for him. "I'm surprised he loved you so much and didn't tell you."

You cried unable to turn your face to look at him, deep down you wanted to put Yoongi aside and not hate him for this. But it seemed almost impossible when he was there, doing nothing, so calm that it was unreal that he had ever looked at you directly and declared his love to you over and over again. For months.

"He really was fine for a while until we decided to make him fall again, one drink after another... First trust him, then question their relationship and finally make them argue." A laugh left his lips, it was almost uncomfortable that he was the only one doing it. Everyone else was so quiet just watching. "But I can't give myself all the credit, let me introduce ourselves well, my dear."

Jimin walked away from you letting you breathe again, you had almost forgotten that he had been doing that act against you. Your tied hands help you hold off the ground by not being able to breathe properly, you feel so weak that you are about to pass out but you refuse to look weak in front of them.

"Kim Seokjin, son of the best chefs in the country and heir owner of thousands of five-star restaurants, inside and outside the country." His body crouched down, making an extremely long bow. Namjoon stood next to him, with the same smile from the day he met you. "Kim Namjoon, the only and adored son of the best lawyers and mayoral candidates, future presidents if occasion permits." There was a strange tone behind his voice, with a knowing wink. "I thought you can guess what Hoseok's parents do, but I'll tell you just in case. Great psychiatrists recognized for their countless achievements outside and within the country, having a tradition from generation to generation, capable of manipulating even the cleverest mind like yours."

Hosoek smiled at you, but this time his smile showed malice and pride. All that time you were surrounded by people who wielded a certain power and influence, oblivious to the fact that they could ever use it against you.

"Park Jimin, Kim Taehyung... Maybe you heard about their surnames on the news two years ago? Families specialized in medicine, their knowledge dazzles science and biology. Before allies and now both surnames are enemies competing for the market, but who would say that their children would meet secretly and use their same knowledge to retain a precise treasure." His hand stroked your hair causing you to recoil angrily, with a grimace of disgust and resignation. "Well... Finally Jungkook, son of the best technology creators in the country. Capable of creating anything, millionaires obviously, like everyone. Faithful lovers and devoted to he son, giving him everything he wants. " He stopped for a moment and then brought his hand to your ear taking out one of your earrings, you looked at him confused before he opened it showing a tiny device that lit up. "Even creating a more than wonderful device, a tracker of the smallest size."

You opened your mouth completely petrified, looking at each and every one of them. Most of them had a firm and conceited posture, but your eyes only looked at him.

"Were you in on this?" You ask by moving your body slightly, Yoongi only remains silent, avoiding looking at you at all costs, even if it is out of mercy you demand a simple word. "Speak! Tell me! Tell me!" You scream completely out of control, letting out all your frustration and anger with him, just him. It's all his fault. "Tell me now! To finally be able to completely hate them all... Please tell me, I just want to stop inventing and fooling my head trying to justify why you are standing there doing nothing for me" You sob almost exhausted, " Without helping me, when before you said you love me."

His eyes meet yours a few seconds before Jungkook chimed in, completely certain that you were trying to play your manipulation cards to get rid of them. Funny, they had done the same to catch you, their hyung could sometimes be so... credulous. That it was ironic that she was older than him.

"Good enough talk for today." He demanded, causing you to hide your head again in fear. You were so scared, even with the pain in your cheek and jaw from being forced by Jimin, you would never give up on them.

Your mouth felt dry, you couldn't remember the last time you drank water alone. As if they could read your thoughts, Taehyung appeared with a tray with a glass of water and a purple pill.

"Take that away from me." You scream when he tries to put the pill in your mouth, backing up as far as your bound legs will allow.

He sighs bored, as if he doesn't have the patience to deal with it, "If you want water you'll have to do this."

"What is it?" You ask almost breathless from the lack of water in your body, he smiles before bringing the pill to his face to look at it rolling it on his finger.

"Hm... Vitamins." Respond after hesitating. "Everything you need in one compact little pill. It was an invention by Jimin and me, we were hoping you would be the first to try it."

A few seconds ago you remember hearing about the reputations of both families, they were specialists who probably passed that knowledge on to their children. If they knew what they were doing with them, they would be shocked. Your reasoning tells you no, to throw it away and try to run away but your head and body can't take it anymore, they demand water and a rest.

"I-it's okay." You accept, removing the pill and the glass of water from the tray angrily. You put the pill in first, then the water so hard your mouth hurts from the force.

You return the glass silently, eyeing him suspiciously before sitting back down and walking a few inches away. You wait for everyone to do something, but they stay so still as dolls that it scares you, everything about them and their attitudes was creepy.

I wish you had noticed earlier.

And now you feel it, it was not pain, nor anxiety. I was just calm, the noises seem to decrease and your vision does not blur but you feel so relaxed that you do not seem to be affected by any drugs. You could feel it all, but you didn't care.

It was relaxing but you weren't far this time, you remember the previous scenes. When you ate the food they gave you, it was similar but as if it had been modified so that you can remain docile and obedient, but at the same time you know what they are doing.

Your body falls on the bed, you don't even try to get up. Your brain isn't thinking about that, it just gets distracted by the decorations around it, but it clearly perceives one of them nearby. Namjoon is behind your body lying face down, half is on the bed and your legs are still kneeling on the floor. You feel his kisses so desperate on your neck, his hands touching your breasts and stomach trying to lower himself further, anxious not to wait to fuck you as he always wanted and should have been.

You do not fight when his legs open yours with force and speed, you just stand still, thinking with your head glued to the soft sheets of the bed, deep down you can slightly feel your desire to push him and push him away furiously, you want to do it but not you do. You feel so confused that you sob into the sheets in released frustration.

"I thought I heard from you, that her wouldn't refuse anything with his stupid pill." Jin whispers, disgusted seeing you struggle with yourself in search of reason.

"I don't see her deny it." Jimin retorts, crossing his arms with a small victorious smile.

Yoongi stands aside, not wanting to accept this but likewise, like you, does nothing to avoid it while Namjoon sinks deep inside you causing you to writhe overwhelmed and let out a groan of pain, your mouth opens to complain and probably ask him to stop, but he instantly closes again only releasing more gasps and squeals.

They spend minutes with all eyes on you, taking the cock of her friend who abuses your sore pussy from overstimulation, this time you are crying and begging for mercy to stop. Even in your unconsciousness you continue to feel all the pain and also the pleasure that is now almost non-existent.

"S-stop!" You cry between gasps of exhaustion, your hands had been released by Jungkook seconds ago so that you can hold on properly. However, you only use them to try to ward off Namjoon who is holding you against the bed by slamming his body against yours with obscene noises. The bed squirms like you, colliding with the wall in sync.

"A little more baby... Just a little more... And I'll fill you with my cum, so fucking tight. You like that, hm?" Her breath very close to your cheek makes you react, you squeeze your eyes almost suffering from your next inevitable orgasm. You scream making everyone watch you fascinated by how your face contracts with pleasure and pain, you try to walk away when the moment of ecstasy recedes, but he continues to fuck you bareback hard, selfishly chasing the release of him against you.

You spent hours repeating the same routine, sometimes sometimes even more hours than you can remember or count.. Your body was completely covered with bruises and marks not only made by them manually, you had discovered in the worst way that Hoseok had a great fetish to make small cuts to any animal or person that had skin and that glistening blood came out of those wounds, red as hell and as sweet as ambrosia.

A delicacy, truly a true delicacy blessed by God.

Jin could not stop laughing at your overwhelmed face, sometimes he would sit next to you while your body was fucked uncontrollably, watching your face move on the sheets with the constant and hard movements of his friends.

"Do you enjoy it, you dirty bitch?" You knew he was making fun of it, not only because it denigrated your dignity, but also because you couldn't answer correctly and the only thing that moved was your head up and down from the thrusts. As if you were affirming his disgusting words. "You like it right?" And again. "I bet you will enjoy it every day from now on, do you want to marry us, little bitch? Be ours forever, that we fuck you every damn day like that, that we also fill you up that you would get pregnant, you would have our children , and you would gladly. Do you accept _______?"

You did not want to know where he managed to get your last name, nor your full name and less because he thought that after the effect of whatever they had given you, you would really accept being his damned wife.

But he just stands there, watching Jungkook abuse his new power against you and taunt him.

I just wanted to wait for everyone to leave, so I could hug you, heal you, and ask for forgiveness.

He couldn't save you if he was chained to the basement like they threatened to do. He was afraid of his own friends, who looked at him madly when hours before he thought of withdrawing from the plan, Hoseok as charismatic as he always claimed to be able to cut his neck so easily if I took you away from them.

Now, they were doomeds.

The painting lost its color once more.

[heniareth]

I was really curious about what your opinions on the DAO companions are :) I know we have talked about some, but I'd love to hear more and about the others as well :D I hope it's ok to pose this as an ask :)

Sure! That sounds like a ton of fun. This might be a long one tho. Mind you, this is not the finished version of the answer. I'd like to link stuff and add a cut, but rn that's not possible. I'll update it when I can.

Edit: I have updated it ^^

Let's go alphabetically bc why not.

Alistair:

Sweet guy. So sweet. There was a moment when I was hard pressed chosing between him and Zevran (alas, Zevran won). Also, he's weirdly tall according to the wiki? How did I not notice that before?

Let's get a bit more serious now, Alistair is a great guy. The only reason he's not the hero of the story is because he doesn't want to. He has all the qualities of a leader: he's good at dealing with conflict (as evident with the conversation with the mage at the beginning. He gets where he wants to get without antagonizing the mage, but without allowing him to trample all over him). He's a solid tactitian and knows how to make allies (he suggests to use the Grey Warden treaties, after all). I bet if he was in the leadership position, he'd even not bicker with Morrigan. His moral code is pretty tight; some might say too tight, but I think it's less about the moral code and more about learning to judge people by their actions, not by the labels they fit into (Morrigan is a proud apostate and therefore bad. Wynne is a humble circle mage and therefore good). He also has a bit of a black-and-white way of seeing the world. I empathize a lot with Alistair, especially with his experience with the Chantry and his subsequent reluctance to deal with it. I really wish I had gotten to know more about concrete experiences he had during his training as templar, but he seems reluctant to talk about it (gee, I wonder why).

Since I've only played the game once, I haven't really picked up on Arl Eamon's abuse towards him, which apparently exists (Isolde, however... I mean, even if he were Eamon's illegitimate son, he's a kid, ma'am, he didn't exactly get to chose his parents. So that's so not okay). Alistair's way of speaking about them both, however, is either sign that he has not come within a hundred miles of acknowledging how much it hurt him, or that he's already gone through the whole process and has decided to forgive them. The latter shows a very strong character; yes, he relies on the approval and leadership of others, he has his issues, but he's already started working on them.

That being said, irl Alistair would be like a little brother to me. I'd tease him relentlessly (all in good fun and I promise to stop if it makes him uncomfortable, but he's just so teasable). I still wish the videogame gave him the chance to take important decisions for himself. But that, of course, would somewhat defeat the point of the game.

Leliana:

Another sweet, sweet person. Her singing voice is amazing. Her belief in the Maker inspires me (I'm a religious person and seeing religious characters represented in a positive light is Very Cool. It's also sometimes a source of discomfort, because the Church has done a lot of very messed up stuff and positive representation can sometimes veer into apologetics for things that should not be excused, but that's a whole other can of worms. The bottom line is that religious characters sometimes work for me and other times don't and Leliana works for me very much bc she's an outsider inside the Chantry).

Leliana is best friend material, tbh. I'd love to get to know her irl, discuss theology and philosophy and maybe even politics? She makes mistakes and has prejudices, but, tbh, so do I. And I do get the feeling that she tries her best to learn. From the times she intervenes in a conversation between the Warden and an NPC, she shows herself to be compassionate and open to the needs of others. What I get from her character is that she genuinely wants to help, which is something that I adore of her. I suspect that she sometimes has a hard time deciding wether she's a good person or not. She has killed and seduced and worked for a morally dubious person, and she doesn't show the same nonchalance about it as Zevran (though they both do discuss their line of work in very... professional terms). This is, however, more of a headcanon than actual factual canon.

I also very much enjoy her girly side, like her interest in shoes and dresses. She's one badass woman who also looses her cool about the latest fashions in Val Royeaux. I like that. Between her and Alistair, a non human noble Warden has as good a help to navigate the Fereldan court as they're going to get. Leliana is also, I can't forget that, clever and insightful. It'd be easy to write her off as the innocent chantry girl, but she's so much more than that. Her kindness is paired with foresight, I think. She knows that taking on the trouble to help now can go a long way in the future. I just have a lot of respect for her.

Loghain:

This one's gonna be short bc I didn't recruit him. He's an amazing villain and would probably be a great Warden as well. He reminds me of Denerhor from LOTR; once a hero/stewart of his people, ambition and desperation have driven them both down a terrible path. I have also only little idea about his past. People say he lost a lot, and I believe it wholeheartedly; it doesn't excuse the fact that he plunged the country into a civil war in the middle of a Blight. I don't have a lot of sympathy for short-sighted politicians. I wish he hadn't made himself regent. That's what I take away from his character.

Edit: One thing I forgot to mention that really impressed me was his death. I had Alistair duel him (that was a rough duel), and then it kinda just jumped to a cutscene of my Warden nodding and Alistair executing him. That didn't sit well with me. I didn't want to kill Loghain, and less so in front of Anora. But what impressed me was that Loghain just accepted it. That takes a whole lot of guts. Compare that to Howe's death, and how he screams out that he deserved (more, probably, or anything but death) and it's crystal clear who the more noble of the two is. Loghain strikes me as very lawful neutral, and any neutral alignment has the particularity that it can be dragged towards good or bad, sometimes without the characters noticing it (which is interesting from a DnD perspective; neutral is often concieved of as just as stable as good or evil, but that may not be true. But that's a different post). Anyway, Loghain's death was impactful.

Morrigan:

I could kick myself for not maxing out her approval in the first play-through. I got to enjoy a bit of her friendship by the end of it and boy was even that little bit worth it. Friendship with Morrigan is something that is hard-won. It's all the more precious because of that.

Morrigan is full of paradoxes, I think. She's incredibly wise in some ways, yet also very short-sighted (”just kill them, don't solve their problems”. Morrigan, dear, I'm not going to gain a lot of allies if I kill everybody who poses a problem to me). She is so intelligent, but emotionally... not so. She knows so much about some things, and very little about the next. She's incredibly wilful and knows what she wants, but follows Flemeth's orders all the time through. She hungers for power and independence, yet craves closeness, but won't allow herself to have it. She asks you to prove yourself to her and is extremely critical of your actions, I think, because she's afraid. She bites the hand that feeds her because it might hit her next.

Like with Eamon, I haven't managed to catch the undercurrent of abuse that seems to permeate Flemeth's relationship with Morrigan. Except there are signs, because there must be something Morrigan is scared of and who has instilled all that rage in her, and that's Flemeth. Also, she clearly hates/does not care about her and wants her dead (unless killing Flemeth was part of Flemeth's plan as well? Hm.)

Morrigan is that one person who you are nice to, continuously, because nobody else is. And suddenly she becomes less cold. And then friendly. And suddenly you're asking yourself why everybody hates her, because she's a really good friend! I just wish the other companions came to a similar conclusion, especially Alistair and Wynne.

Oghren:

They did this man dirty. He has such great lines and I'm convinced he was a great person before Branka disappeared. He has that dwarven warrior spirit, and while he looks like Gimli, some of his most impactful lines remind me of Dwalin or even Thorin Oakenshield himself. He could be so noble had he gotten some character development, damnit!

Oghren as he is written is somewhat disgusting. I hate the lechering comments and the drunkenness. And still, I don't hate him because of those amazing lines he has when he's actually sober. It's frustrating and I'll give him that character development myself if the game won't. I strongly associate the song Whiskey Lullaby with him, bc that's how he would have ended up if the Warden hadn't taken him along (warning: the song talks about suicide and alcoholism). Like I said, they could have done such cool things with his character. As he is written now... it's just sad. Moments of lucidity drowned in alcohol and creepy jokes. As you can see, I don't blame the character for either. The alcoholism happens all too often irl. The creepy jokes... I put that one on the writers' tab.

I actually think Oghren could have been a great mentor figure (I know, I shock myself as well sometimes). Next to the Grey Wardens, the ones who know most about fighting darkspawn are the dwarves because they have to deal with them constantly. Especially a warrior caste dwarf like Oghren could have brought a lot of that invaluable knowledge to the team, especially since there are no Grey Wardens in Ferelden but two extremely green recruits. Next, you get the chance to give Oghren the command of the teammates you leave behind in the battle of Denerim with the reason that he has lead men into battle before. Where did that suddenly come from? Oghren should have been right up there telling my Warden that they were doing this wrong, that they needed more food (and booze) and a confident leader to keep the armies they've called together going. Oghren should have been able to tell my civilian city elf who got recruited into the Grey Wardens a six months ago how one leads an army. How one presents oneself to inspire confidence, how one doesn't crack under the pressure, how one gets the leaders of said armies (some who hate each others guts i.e. Dalish elves and humans) to work together. And, last but not least, Oghren could have had a great story about grief. This is a man who has lost most of what made him (and what he hasn't lost he's spilling down the drain with every mug of ale). This is a man who, if you take him into the Deep Roads, has to see what his wife did to his family, how his wife got absolutely obsessed, and can be forced to kill said wife or watch her die. All Wardens loose their home and families at the start of the story. It would really have rounded the whole narrative out if the Warden and Oghren could have recognised their grief in each other and hashed it out somehow. Such as it is, Oghren is a depressed drunkard and there is nothing we can do about that. I find that frustrating.

Rascal (a.k.a. Dog):

Best boy. 100/10. I wish we had gotten to see the reaction of the different origins to the mabari (because elves probably have a whole different experience with them from mages or humans. And dwarves just... I think they straight up have none? XD). Other than that, no complaints. The name Rascal was the one I gave my dog because you have to be a right rascal to survive what he did and play the pranks he plays. Smartest breed in the world indeed.

Shale:

Shale is one of those characters that I recruited rather late in the game, so I haven't had the chance to explore their personality and worldview, really. I didn't even get to take them to the Deep Roads (this will be ammended in playthrough nr. 2). As such, I don't have particularly strong opinions on them (or her? The wiki refers to Shale as 'it', but that sounds weird). But, because I know so little about Shale, I have a lot of questions. First, what were they like before they were a golem? Shayle, as she was called then, was the best warrior of her time if I remember correctly. Why did she become a golem? Was it to be able to eternally protect her people? Was the sarcasm the golem Shale exhibits also part of the dwarven warrior Shayle or did that come later (if for thirty years you have nobody to talk to but yourself, you better be entertaining. And I can imagine how it could make somebody terribly jaded as well).

Next, how attached is Shale to their golem form, exactly? According to the banter, they infinitely prefer it to a squishy fleshy form. If that is the case, however, why go to Tevinter to try and become a squishy dwarf again? It's not like that process could be reversed if they wanted to become a golem again; if Shale survives to the end of the game, the Anvil of the Void is destroyed and Caridin is dead. Was the whole spiel about their indestructible form a façade? It might have been, but not because Shale actually disliked their form. I think it would have more to do with the loss of their memories and with the very invasive experiments and alterations of Shale's body made by the mage Wilhelm. The loss of memories means that Shale is unable to remember life as a fleshy creature. They might be deflecting by pretending that they didn't care for that experience anyway because of the superiority of their golem form. The modifications made to their form by Wilhelm would have alienated them from their body. In light of this, it's significant that Shale asks the Warden to decorate their form with crystals.

All of this is, of course, pure speculation. I may have easily missed or forgotten details that would disprove the above thoughts. All in all, I like Shale and I hope we meet them again in DA4 (given that it's mostly set in Tevinter). It's a liking from a respectful distance, because Shale is tall and made out of rock and also way more experienced than I will ever be (they are literally the oldest member of the Warden's little Blight fighting squad).

Sten:

Sten is another person I'd keep a respectful distance from physically. That seems to be the what he would prefer, at least. I've enjoyed his character a lot, especially because he seems pretty clear-cut at first, but slowly lets the nuance of his person show (gruff and stoic, but then he has an eye for art, a sweet tooth and he likes cute animals). It's also very interesting that there's no moment when you learn "the truth" about him the way you do with Zevran or Leliana. There's no big reveal about his life under the Qun before coming to Ferelden. He says he was sent to monitor the Blight, but honestly? If neither Ferelden nor Orlais knew there was a Blight, how could the Qunari know? I think he's lying, and he takes his secrets back with him when he leaves Ferelden. And yet I think I know him enough to say that a Warden who has become friends with him has nothing to fear from Sten.

One thing I find very interesting about Sten is how he thinks. His conversation about how women can't be soldiers has been analysed a lot on this page I think. He seems to be arguing based on a different paradigma than the one the Warden has. He also seems to have a very clear-cut view of the world. What is fascinating to me is that, when arguing with the Warden and learning about their culture, he is not necessarily becoming more lax about his worldview. I think it's more likely that he is expanding his paradigma, the structure of thought through which he understands the world. I don't think that he is now convinced that women can be warriors as well. I think he rather understands that, in Ferelden, the relationship between occupation and gender is different than under the Qun. Which of the two he thinks is more right or more agreeable, I have no idea. I'm also not very interested in that. But I find it fascinating how he always seems to be looking on quietly, gathering data, classifying it and trying to fit it into his understanding of how the world works. I wouldn't be surprised at all if his original party was a scouting party to see how vulnerable Ferelden was at that moment to outside forces. One thing I don't understand with all of this is why he urges the Warden to meet the Blight head on. No smart soldier would suggest that, except if they are foolishly proud (and Sten doesn't seem like that kind of guy tbh). I get that the Warden takes way longer to gather allies than expected because they first have to solve all of their allies' problems. But surely Sten sees the need to have allies? Is he just that impatient? Does he have a death wish (à la, I lost my sword and am without honour, better to die sooner than later and in glorious battle)? Was he his group's previous commander and is he now having trouble following somebody else's orders? Or maybe it's his way to make sure the Warden knows what they are doing? To push them into becoming the self-assured commander their allies will need once they're all gathered? I really don't know. I like the last option best, however.

For me, Sten is my fellow, more experienced soldier. Like Alistair, he can potentially be the Warden's brother in arms, but he's definitely the older brother here. He probably doesn't take kindly to tearful confessions of how hard everything is, but I feel like he's otherwise a solid rock to lean on. I feel like the Warden can trust him to do what is necessary and count on him no matter what, especially after they get his sword back. His devotion from that point on is honestly so powerful.

Wynne:

Wynne was such a support for my Warden (except with the whole conversation about love vs. duty and that she may have to choose between Zevran and ending the Blight and that she should therefore break up with him. Wynne had a point. Astala was so not willing to sacrifice her relationship with Zevran. But the whole conversation came at a point where she was already so disillusioned that she blew up in Wynne's face (”can i please just have one (1) nice thing????”)). But all in all, Wynne is great.

She has a lot of flaws. She was very marked by her life in the Cricle and, for all her age, she has little experience living outside of it. She is also a conformist despite her strong moral core. In a way, her ability to find peace with her lot in life impresses me deeply because it speaks to a lot of strength of character. Sadly, however, strength can be ill applied and used to suppress. I think she has convinced herself that the Chantry is right under (almost) all circumstances to be able to rationalize the life that mages live. She's had her son taken away from her as a baby and an apprentice killed. Her reaction seems to have been to convince herself that this was right, or for the greater good (and now I'm thinking about the Guardian's question at the temple of Andraste's Ashes; are you wise or do you just repeat what others have told you? The answer is not as clear-cut as it might be). This is why she is so irritated by Zevran and Morrigan. By aligning herself with the Chantry, she is, in her eyes, good. Zevran and Morrigan are not; they do not conform to Chantry morality and they defend themselves tooth and nails against somebody who would try and convert them. This is something Wynne never allowed herself to do; she always did the "right" thing and it has cost her so much. I'm not saying she was right (it would probably have done her some good to rebel from time to time, and to trust her own gut instinct more), but in light of this, it hardly surprises me that she's so judgamental. She has to be, or she would be forced to confront all the evil she has not fought against all those years and all the hurt that has been caused to her by the very institution she protects (and thank God she only tries to argue and can appreciate it when people have found a good life outside of her comfort zone. If she tried to convince by force or, for example, drag her former apprentice back to the Circle... boy oh boy that would get ugly). If you think about it, Wynne really is a good example for what happens if you live by a philosophy of always choosing the lesser evil.

Something that I keep forgetting over her grandmotherly and dignified character is how damn powerful she is. She has escaped the carnage at Ostagar; HOW!? She protected those mage apprentices in the Circle tower for God knows how long. In the battle of Denerim, she wades through an army and comes out alive on the other side. The wiki lists her age at 40, I think, but that doesn't make a lick of sense unless 75 years of age are the Fereldan equivalent to 100. This lady, about whom people make grandmother jokes, did all that. It's impressive.

Zevran:

You know, I would really love to know what Wynne thinks about the events at Kirkwall in DA2. It might be a disaster for her, or it might pave the way for one last bit of character development. She certainly didn't want to return to the Circle after fighting the Blight. That may be an indicator of some change in her stance on the Circle of Magi.

Edit: I forgot that she is what the Circle considers a literal abomination! Holy cow, how could I forget that?? Anyway, her conversation about what being an abomination means is so... heartbreaking, actually. It's so tentative. So careful. "Am I an abomination? Am I the same thing that has killed my students? The same thing as Uldred? Am I lost and damned? Did I invite this spirit in? Is this my fault?" Like wow, Wynne is going through something huge right there. I love it. I have to continue playing the game to see what it ends up as, but it's fascinating and such a huge thing that she allows the Warden in on that.

Ah, Zevran, my beloved (he has stolen my heart so much it's not even funny anymore). He's funny, he's charming, he's so so loyal and it breaks my heart. Zevran is the one about whom I've read most meta: these three wonderful posts for instance, as well as this one about his possible lack of scars, and this one about his lack of freedom. All of these have influenced my opinion of him and they are great reads.

I have talked about Zevran with you before, so I'll just skip to the new stuff. I have come to conclusion that Zevran is an artist at heart. This is totally not biased by the fact that I also do art, but hear me out. One of his preferred gifts are bars of silver and gold. While those have the obvious utility of basically functioning as money (they can be sold to any silversmith or goldsmith and their value is pretty stable through time and in different countries), there's also this from his codex: "Zevran shows an affinity for the finer things in life—hardly surprising for an Antivan Crow—but his appreciation can be more poetic than he lets on. A simple bar of refined silver or gold, uncomplicated by a craftsman's hammer, is elegantly valuable." Tell me that is not an artist's eye that sees that gold and sees the beauty in it. Then, there's also the meta about Zevran the Seducer which I linked above and link here again. It talks specifically about how he lets himself enjoy the target and be seen in his enjoyment. Tell me that is not an artist's eye that beholds the beauty of something he is set out to destroy. Even his talk about his assassinations show this. He talks about it as an art, the way somebody would talk about the brutal intervention in stone that produces a sculpture. Yes, it's a rationalization of the act of killing and yes killing is still wrong. But he doesn't go on about it on a moral tangent the way Alistair or Wynne would (”this person was bad, killing them was necessary”) or even through the argument of survival like Morrigan would (”it was either them or me and it sure as Hell wasn't going to be me”). He talks about the pleasure of a job well done, of the satisfaction of striking the precise point and executing a plan to the perfection so as to minimize chances of discovery and to make a clean death possible. And pleasure in seeing and in doing, this I firmly believe, is absolutely fundamental for an artist.

My favourite part about my Warden and Zevran as a pairing is that Zevran precisely brings out that ability to take your pleasures as they come and to really savour them. Fighting the Blight is tough; it's so important to find good things amidst the chaos to stay sane. If Astala saves Zevran from himself by offering him a place to stay and a purpose, Zevran saves Astala from herself by keeping her from running herself into the ground trying to save the world.

There are some things I don't like about Zev. The incessant flirting, for example, sometimes makes me uncomfortable (it becomes enjoyable for me once the Warden and him are in a relationship, but before that? Nah, no thanks). I wish he would also leave the other female characters alone (and there's so many more shameless comments of his aimed at Morrigan, Leliana or Wynne than at Alistair or maybe even Sten).

---

And that's my take on the Origins companions (this was rather long. Whew ^^' I hope it was still readable and that you enjoyed it!!) Thank you so much for the ask!! It's been a joy thinking about this. I was worrying at first that the less prominent companions like Sten or Shale wouldn't get as much content but... well XD

[jamespotterthefirst]

Prelude (Ethan x f!MC)

Book: Open Heart, Book 1 Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 1.5 K Premise: Three moments leading up to their fateful meeting.

Author’s Note: In which I try to explain why MC didn’t know what Ethan, her medical hero, looked like. Also, my (late) fic for the book 1 replay. Thank you @aestheticartsx​ for pre-reading!

Three.

Harper frowns down at the file in her hand, her sharp gaze burning into the collated papers as though coercing them to solve their dilemma once and for all. From the end of the table, Cyrus lets out an inpatient sigh.

“It's very simple, Harper,” he drones. Ethan's fists clench reflexively at his sides, urging to remind Cyrus that Harper is the chief now and warrants more respect than his insufferable tone is offering. “The last spot should go to the candidate from Harvard. We are the best hospital on the east coast, after all. It only makes sense.”

Harper looks unconvinced and still, her pensive expression remains fixed in the file.

“An ivy league degree does not a good doctor make,” Naveen adds sagely into the ensuing silence. His smile is placid enough but Ethan knows the older doctor well enough to hear the warning edge in his voice. Evidently, even Naveen disapproves of Cyrus's lack of respect for their new chief.

Cyrus scoffs.

“And if you need further proof of that, Doctor Cyrus,” Ethan begins dryly, eyes boring into him. “Then look no further than your side of the conference table.”

A few attendings—at least the ones who have become increasingly tired of Cyrus's boastful proclamations about his alma mater—laugh quietly at the jab. Cyrus splutters, his face an unpleasant shade of red as he glares daggers at Ethan.

“This candidate,” Harper says at last, unaware or uncaring of what she had just interrupted. Her two lone words are enough to command the room's attention at once, but her hazel eyes are on Ethan. “You're convinced she's the best fit for Edenbrook?”

Ethan meets her eye and pauses.

It's the first time they look at each other directly since he ended their relationship two weeks prior. Despite the brief time apart and an unshakeable resolve to be professional, his stomach sinks heavy, like a stone.

Harper looks as graceful and dignified as ever, keeping every emotion in check. Yet, as she holds his gaze, Ethan can see a small flicker or sadness and his stomach twists with guilt.

“I'm positive, Chief Emery,” Ethan responds. “This candidate exhibits the type of potential we look for at Edenbrook.”

The use of her new title seems to snap Harper out of a reverie.

“She graduated top of her class and ranked in the top percent among our chosen cohort of interns,” Ethan continues. “I've also looked into her research and it's among the most promising I've seen. I recommend her without reservations.”

With a single nod and a sense of finality, Harper closes the file.

“Then it's settled. We have our last intern.”

“You're joking, Harper,” Cyrus blurts out, incensed. “We're giving a coveted spot to the candidate from UCLA?”

He says the name of the school with so much derision, Ethan feels his ears flare up.

“That Doctor Ayala?” Cyrus continues.

“Doctor Allende,” Ethan corrects, jaw clenched.

“Don't we have enough charity cases in the cohort already? This is token—”

But the vitriol is quickly interrupted by several things happening at once: Ethan darting forward, fists ready; a startled, collective gasp from the other attendings; Naveen, quietly intercepting Ethan and halting his steps with a steady hand, a feat that is impressive for a man much older and shorter; and Harper, also on her feet, directing a disgusted look at Cyrus she doesn’t bother to disguise behind professionalism.

“I would think very carefully about finishing that sentence if I were you, Doctor Cyrus,” she says, her voice low but with the impact of a clashing gavel. “And I ask that you address me as Chief Emery moving forward.”

Two.

“If you end up marrying someone with a Boston accent,” Laurel is saying with a devilish grin. “I will never be able to keep a straight face when they talk. Pahk the cah in Hahvahd Yahd.”

Her older sister peers at Lilac over the flaps of an open cardboard box, the glint in her eye growing wickeder still. “Imagine what they’d sound like in bed. You're so fucking gawgeous, dawctaw—”

Before her sister can escalate that impression into disturbing territory, Lilac silences her with a well-aimed pillow. It succeeds in hitting Laurel straight in the face but also in turning her laughter into a cackle.

“Are you going to help me pack or not?” Lilac says sternly, though the effect is entirely ruined by the smile that manages to break through.

Laurel raises her hands in defeat and returns to packing Lilac's books neatly. They work in companionable silence for a few minutes with nothing but their favorite music blaring from the speakers of Lilac's phone.

“Is this the book?” her sister asks suddenly, turning a worn textbook in her hands and studying it closely. “The one written by your medical crush?”

For some inexplicable reason, Lilac feels her face flare with heat. “He's not my crush.”

“You just worship the ground he walks on,” her sister returns, flipping through Diagnostic Principles. “Though, you're right. In order to have a crush you'd need to know what he looks like.”

Laurel reaches the back cover, frowning. “Why wouldn't he add an author picture?”

Lilac says nothing, biting the inside of her cheek. She can't blame her sister for being curious and a bit disappointed at the lack of visual representation. After all, Lilac had felt crestfallen when all she found in the author's information section was the green and blue Edenbrook logo.

“Maybe he's a private man and doesn't like his picture out in the world? Maybe he wants aspiring doctors to focus on his research and not his looks?”

“So he's either really hot or really ugly,” Laurel returns, unmoved by Lilac's impassioned speech. “Have you ever tried looking him up online?”

Lilac had been tempted many times, but she was fiercely adamant about keeping her medical hero a mystery outside of his work. It already felt invasive enough to track down his undergrad research and every other minor paper he'd ever written. When it came to Ethan Ramsey, Lilac had searched every corner of scholarly journals and databases, absorbing every piece of his work with an adoration that was already embarrassing enough.

Plus, she would never admit it out loud, but she was also afraid that knowing what the brilliant doctor looked like would somehow ruin him for her. Or at least, alter the image of him she had constructed in her head for so many years. It felt right to continue seeing Dr. Ramsey as the brilliant force that pushed her into her dream career and not as a definitive set of features.

“It doesn't matter what he looks like. He's the best and I'm going there to learn from him, not to judge his appearance.”

“I'm Googling him,” Laurel announces, already typing furiously into her phone. After a few seconds, her phone returns results and her eyebrows shoot up, staying suspended for longer than normal.

“What?” Lilac asks despite herself.

“Wow.”

“Wow what?”

“Just… wow.” Laurel stares down at the screen with such awestruck amazement that Lilac feels a powerful wave of curiosity. “He’s shirtless in some of these.”

“What?” Lilac yelps, feeling her face flare up at once. 

“Yeah, apparently you’re not his only fan. Tons of people have taken his picture.” Her sister seems to blink out of a trance, turning the screen toward Lilac. “Here, see for your—”

But Lilac turns her gaze away almost out of reflex.

“No!” 

The word comes out far more impassioned than Lilac intended. Still, she resolutely turns her head. “That feels...invasive, somehow?”

“Come on—”

“I'm serious, Lau. I don't want to see. I'm already nervous enough about this whole thing without having to worry about this wow-worthy revelation. And besides, taking someone’s shirtless picture without their consent and posting it online is already bad enough. It feels wrong supporting that.”

Laurel rolls her eyes.

“I'm going to see him in less than a week anyway. With clothes. In a professional setting. As I should. If I waited all these years, I can wait that long.”

A knowing, devious sort of smile pulls at her sister's face. She mumbles something over the music and Lilac can swear it sounds oddly like: “...worth the wait.”

One.

Ethan should have taken the broken and sputtering coffee machine in his apartment as an omen. His morning definitely declined from then on, starting with gridlock traffic and ending with an infuriatingly long line at his favorite coffee place.

The ultimate lack of coffee is probably his fault because Ethan had spent too much time deliberating whether or not he wanted to go with store bought coffee on what promised to be a grueling day. When he had finally made up his mind, however, the line was already out the door.

Irritated and caffeine deprived, he drives back to Edenbrook.

“You're earlier than we agreed,” Naveen says as soon as Ethan accepts his incoming call. “What was the point of rearranging the whole schedule if you were going to come in when you pleased anyway?”

“I'm not even through the gates yet. What are you spying on me?”

“No need. You forget how predictable you are.”

Naveen chuckles as he says this which eases some of Ethan's irritation. The older doctor had purposely scheduled him later in the day to give him some peace on the first day of the new intern cohort.

Naturally, Ethan arrived several hours early, as per his custom.

“Or maybe you know me too well by now.”

Naveen's benevolent laughter turns into a dry but lingering cough on the other end of the line. Instantly, Ethan's insides freeze over, his stomach sinking unpleasantly.

He opens his mouth to question his mentor about this persisting symptom, when sheer reflex prompts him to stomp on the breaks so suddenly, his body jerks forward then slams against his seat.

“Shit.”

Something—or rather someone— had crossed the parking lot road right in front of his car, standing mere inches away from his front bumper.

“Ethan?” Naveen asks through the speaker.

When Ethan recovers and regains movement of his arms and legs, he feels the spike of adrenaline give way to pure annoyance.

The offending pedestrian is a young brunette clad in blue scrubs, a medical intern by the looks of it. She stands there in the middle of the road, her mouth hanging open in a way that would have been comical to Ethan if he wasn't so irritated.

They stare at one another, though Ethan is convinced she can't see much through the tinted glass.

Then, right before his eyes, she seems to recover from the shock. Drawing herself to her full height, she glares at Ethan. At least, he thinks she's glaring through the dark lenses of her sunglasses.

Ethan almost scoffs.

She has the audacity to be angry when she was the one who made the rookie mistake of aimlessly crossing in front of him?

Who the hell does she think she is?

“Asshole,” she mutters, the word quite audible through his windows.

Before a stunned Ethan can respond, she turns on her heel and rushes toward the hospital, a curtain of dark hair dancing behind her.

“What was that?” Naveen asks, still on the call.

“I hate interns,” Ethan responds much to the older doctor's amusement.

Bonus:

Author’s Note: In other words, my MC was late to her orientation because of Ethan and that’s how she met him in the waiting room lol. Thank you so much for reading! 

*Tagging Separately