#anyway yeah. straight from my brain to the page.

[calliecwrites]

Pretending

Sometimes pretending to be a person is easy. Sometimes it isn’t. On the bad days, numbers start crawling on the page, straight lines curl, and I’ve got to remind myself to keep my face on. I want to stretch my other limbs, but the world down here is so thin, and so easy to tear. I have to be careful not to think too hard about anything, or it might start seeping through. You have no idea how much power you have, someone told me once, being able to create with a thought. And the children of my mind look too much like madness to humans.

Cases of madness worldwide are 1.3% higher on days like that.

But I don’t want to drive them mad. I’m here to protect them, not devour them. Not this time. So I have to pretend. Though with some of them practically throwing themselves at me, that isn’t always easy.

Writers are the worst. I let my ‘pretending to be a person is hard’ line slip into the coffee I’m nursing while my head pounds with the effort of keeping it all together, and her only response is, “Yeah, I know.”

“‘A writer is a world pretending to be a person’,” she quotes at me, and then, “That’s a deliberate misquote of something Victor Hugo said: ‘A writer is a world trapped in a person’. But I like my version better. If my soul wasn’t in a human-shaped body, sometimes I think I’d turn into a galaxy or something. Or maybe more than that. A multiverse.”

Humans are famously good at detecting things that don’t quite look human. I’m not doing a particularly good job of staying out of the uncanny valley today, but she doesn’t seem to have noticed. Or, worse, she’s noticed and likes it. Writers are like that sometimes. But I’ve been deliberately staying out of her mind. I can tell it’s twisty and complex, and I’m afraid the slightest touch from me would tip her over into madness. Or, who knows, maybe she’s right, and it would trigger her transformation into some kind of eldritch goddess that would put even me to shame. I don’t want to think about what that would do to the paper-thin world down here.

I’ve been so focused on my coffee, I’ve accidentally created another one. She hasn’t noticed.

“I do wonder what being a person is actually like, though,” she goes on. “You know, actually fitting in with all the weird rules humans have. Actually feeling at home here. And most of them only get to live one life, not all the fragments of all the lives we get to. Imagine that. They’ll never know what it’s like, being able to create with a thought.”

That last part hits too close to home, and I can’t resist taking just one quick peek into her mind.

“Oh, hello,” she says, and looks me in the eye.

I withdraw. No way she should have been able to feel that. And what I saw there – she’s practically a multiverse already, all jammed up there somehow into that tiny human brain.

“I always wondered if telepathy’s real,” she’s saying, “and now you’ve gone and proven it. Do that again, so I can see how you did it.”

No way, I’m not risking that – but she fumbles around and somehow does it anyway.

“There you are!” she says. I twitch back into my defences – why does this have to be happening on a day like this, when I’m barely holding it together anyway? The writing on the menu twists and curls, and customers start walking in circles. This time she notices.

“Ooh, eldritch abomination, is it?” she says. “Here, let me try.”

She squints, and now she’s holding another coffee, too. She takes a sip. “Mmm, just like in my dreams.”

Then she’s looking at me. Not just at my rapidly-slipping human disguise, but really looking at me, all the parts that no human should ever be able to see. But I don’t think she’s human anymore – I think she’s been right at that boundary for a while.

“You know, you really should pay more attention to that,” she says. “I find pretending is much easier if I do something like this—” and she does something, and my own human form snaps back into clarity. “There you go. Get those few things right and most people won’t even notice.”

Meanwhile, her own form is becoming more solid. That’s the only way I can describe it. Soon she’ll be so solid that her slightest movement will tear right through reality like tissue paper.

“Be careful,” I say, “you’re new to this, and this world is fragile—”

But it’s too late. She twitches in just the wrong way, and something tears.

Now everything is inverting. Everything that was packed up tightly inside her brain is becoming outside. The whole world is reforming around us, into one she considers home. I’m unaffected, but the humans are being completely rewritten.

“Hmm,” she muses, observing all the worlds at once. “Looks like I was right about myself.”

And she sees my dismayed expression. Avoiding something like this is exactly why I was being so careful down here. So much for that.

“Don’t worry,” she says, and gives me a reassuring pat somewhere in the fourth dimension. “There’s more than enough room in me for everyone.”

I really like that quote she uses, and use it myself. This story came from thinking - what if it was literally true, and not just a metaphor?

Tag list (tell me if you want to be added):

@avery-victoria-winterlight @dierotenixe @leahnardo-da-veggie @lunadook @mint-and-authoress

@sandyca5tle @scrubbinn @theriomythic-lesbian @void-botanist @wuwojiti

@zzzestyy

[agendabymooner]

mamma mia (again) ! daniel r. x ofc (måneskin member! ofc)

“they ask me why i’m so hot, ‘cause i’m italiano.”

summary: a series of video clips, but it’s only just danny ric being in love with a certain lester alessandro.

content warning: hint or two of suggestive comments (nothing detailed or graphic), use of explicit language, filler blurb or something, danny being a simp for few videos straight (“have my kids” type beat), lester being an etsy and pinterest enthusiast, literally posted this blurb from my phone so they’re crazy about their image limits 😩

note: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE 105 FOLLOWERS?! UHM? seriously, i’ve never been so happy. i honestly only started posting these because i have them ingrained in my brain and won’t let go until i write or make something. just indulging my imagination you know? enjoy xx

masterlist

𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐁𝐄 𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐑𝐈𝐂 𝐈𝐒 𝐀 𝐒𝐈𝐌𝐏

【VIDEO ONE — daniel ricciardo is a gatekeeper】

[1st image: yeah, i dunno. everyone just found out that i made it official with my girlfriend and i’m pretty sure i just saw lando weeping in his room. max was the second to react to it and i’m so sure he recoiled. he did say that he didn't want to know what happened in imola few months ago.]

[2nd: interviewer: what happened in imola few months ago? daniel: *chuckles* wouldn’t you like to know - nah, i’m messing about. nothing happened in imola besides from me retiring to my bed early. i think we were both drunk when i posted that photo and i know it looks lewd but there's no way we could've done anything questionable.]

[3rd: d: but yeah. we didn't really want to catch that much attention until maybe i don't know... when we're married or something *chuckles* i: keep it a secret until the wedding? d: yeah. but charles, the absolute fool, posted videos during the concert with me in the background. It would've been real nice if no one caught onto it until we had a mini ric running and racing, you know? just to wreak havoc.]

【VIDEO TWO — daniel ricciardo talks about lester’s love language in his gq video】

[1st: i got this journal from lori. it has my initials "DR" on it for daniel ricciardo*laughs* it's one of those many first gifts that i’ve gotten from her throughout our first few months of dating. her love language isn't just shitting on my life -she has every single aspect of love language within her and this is one of them.]

[2nd: when she gave this to me, all she said was "you can write out your thoughts if you can't let them out through your mouth. *giggles* "she clearly had her thoughts sorted out that time especially when she showed me a page with an embossed phrase or nickname, "tasso di miele" - it means honey badger. she apparently bought the custom embosser from etsy and almost fought tooth and nail just to get it in time. *laughs even more* i love her so much, i honestly wanted to cry that day.]

[3rd: lori actually has a laptop with *laughs* itunes on it and she still got some playlists from 2010-2014? yeah. she’s put a lot of old taylor swift songs in my ipod during the christmas break. my favourite album right now is speak now. she loves red.]

【VIDEO THREE — lester hates ashy hands confirmed】

[1st: daniel: i think i should just cover my hands with gloves all the time. lando: that literally has nothing to do with anything that we're about to do. d: lori tells me that my hands are rough whenever she holds them.]

[2nd: l: or you know... you can just use a hand lotion all the time because your hands dry up real fast? d: ah that's true. i wonder if that's why lori just casually put a bottle of hand cream on my travel bag. the thing smells nice though. it’s chamomile.]

【VIDEO FOUR — it’s okay to spoil your partner; even if it’s an accent chair from her pinterest board】

[1st: d: lori just sent me a picture of an armchair from ikea. l: why was she randomly in ikea, by the way? I saw the text. d: window shopping. but anyway, she saw this armchair that she had on her pinterest board. she asked "pretty or no?" with the green velvet chair. l: what did you tell her?]

[2nd: word to word? I texted her "LOL you should see the accent chair I've gotten you for our flat in monaco." l: are you serious? *laughs* d: she wouldn't tell me what she wanted for her birthday. I only got a brief idea when she left her phone in my pocket once and gave me a free access to her pinterest boards.]

[mylittleredgirl]

while we’re having the endless debate about sorting by kudos or not on ao3, i have to stump for my personal favorite way to find fics:

i basically always go straight to the “bookmarks” page for whatever pairing/tag i’m reading rather than the “works” page, and i literally just realized why: it lights up the same parts of my tumblr gremin brain as my dash does.

content hand-selected by people who are bookmarking shit for their own reasons entirely unknowable to me, so it’s a mix of quality peer review and user xyz’s to-read list

if you keep going back to it there’s a repetition over time as new people bookmark old fics. as a tumblr girlie my brain enjoys seeing Thing I Recognize

brand new fics often show up there if they’re good!! (equivalent: new posts tagged “investing at 5 notes”)

a lot of the top kudos fics keep showing up too because so many people sort the works page that way (equivalent: heritage post)

but so much random stuff shows up too that i would otherwise never find, thanks to the hardworking folks out there sobbing into the bottom of the tag at 4 am (equivalent: those posts with 56 notes from 2011 that somehow?? end up on your dash like bestie how did you even find that)

sometimes there are 30 bookmarks in a row by the same person who has a new hyperfixation and you get to think “good for them”

sometimes you get to recognize a username as someone having good or seriously bad taste

sometimes i see my own fics in the mix!! and get that little hit of positive attention (or neutral attention i guess, when people add a bookmarker tag like “it’s about [my fave character] but it’s ok”)

yeah! people can add bookmarker tags and their own notes! so sometimes people rec fics or add marginalia and their own sortable tags (but most people don’t)

there’s always that one fucking harry potter crossover fic with 194 tags in the mix (equivalent: manscaped ads you can’t escape). not saying this is a plus, but scrolling past the same long post you hate for the dozenth time is also an essential part of the tumblr experience.

re: that last bullet point, the one downside of the bookmarks page is that the filtering isn’t quite as robust as on the works page. you do have all the usual include/exclude filter options, but the very last section of filtering (crossovers, WIPs, word count, date range) is not available. (@ ao3 coders please i’m begging 🥺🙏)

anyway i’m sure the bookmarking economy is different across fandoms, but this will give you a semi-randomized feed of the tag, weighted toward new and popular fics (and, for better or worse, unfinished multi-chapter works and megafandom crossovers). it’s probably a good place to start for people who long for an algorithm, but unlike the usual user-targeted panopticon experience it’s more like the chance to rummage through strangers’ junk drawers for fic. tumblr vibes. you get me.

[casperth3ghost]

"mundane hcs" but its acc just shit i do on a daily basis

ANYWAYS, a list of random things i do that i think tts & vat7k characters would do‼️(this is like most characters btw, like not js the main ones this is like as many as i can remeber and that fit with my self projection

lance will get home from the busiest day ever and the first thing he does is make himself a bowl of ice cream, no matter what hour of the day, he WILL have a bowl of ice cream

varian tries to brush his teeth twice a day but usually how it goes is he takes a shower and then lays and bed lying to himself like "yeah ill js rest my eyes for a couple minutes and then ill get up" and then he actually falls asleep, but every morning he brushes his teeth with no problems

eugene used to brag about how many cavities hed get until he had to take care of them and started missing when he didnt have any

rapunzel can be mid convo with somebody while texting them and then out of the blue just space out and like "huh..." when she realizes what js happened

cassandra and yong are both lactose intolerant but cass tries to take care of herself(she drinks almond milk & eats frozen yogurt which are 10/10 alternatives for non-lactose free items BTW) but yong just keeps eating everything and then wonders why he feel absolutely diobolical 10 mins later

catalina says shell start a book and then reads 1 page then forgets about it for around 3 months ans then remeber and the gets so focused on it no one knows if shes okay, angry does the same thing but with tv shows

nuru tends to not stop what shes doing to go pee so shes suffered the consequences(shes had a UTI before)

rapunzel, despite telling everyone around her to drink water, shes always suprisingly dehydrated

ulla will wake up at random times at night wondering why the fuck shes awake and then go right back to bed like nothing happened

donella has thought of multiple schemes to kill people but has decided that for her own good she will not commit any of them

quirin forgets to say please and thank you at restruants and then says them last minute and then gets so embarrassed and akward he will just flat out stop talking, he passed this onto varian who seems to suffer with this to even MORE extent bcuz he doesnt realize when someone is complimenting him so he'll just stare at them and then be liek "oh!! oh my gosh thank you!!" but the person already walked away and now he feels like an asshole

adira will wear the same pair of pants for 3 weeks straight w/o washing them bcuz she wears other pairs in between that pair so she has a pant cycle, but none of the pants get washed until she can acc smell like dog shit on them or smth and realizes just how morbidly gross they are

hector says hes a hopeless romantic but has never fallen in love a day in his life

donella knows every word to satisfied from hamilton but she literallt doesnt relate to angelica in any way, shape, or form

catalina is a shameless taylor swift fan

angry is a taylor fan but she will always refuse to admit it bcuz idk she feels ashamed

rapunzel will find a band that scratches her brain and listen to that band until it is literally impossible for her to do so anymore

cassandra loves fettuchini alfredo

king edmund is an accidental social butterfly

queen ariana had attempted to drown willow in a pool more times than she can count

kind fredric will butt into random convos if even just 1 word peaks his intrest

hugo knows how to crochet but never has enough money or motivation to actually make something even mildly useful

hugo is a "booktok" girly but he doesnt and never has had enough money to invest in the shit ton pile of books he wants

varian would rather go to a meuseum then lay in bed at his house

ulla would do cartwheels in an aquarium if she could w/o getting kicked out

cyrus says goodnight and goodbye to everyone but can never muster up to say "i love you" after just bcuz he thinks itll be too akward😓

amber is the type of gay girl to say "ewww lesbian/gay" to her friend/gf bcuz they say smth gay knowing she is just as queer

uhhhh thats all i can think of rn, but like this is mostly based off shit i do... so take all that as you will🤺‼️ ill post any art i decide to shit out in the next couple of days on here but also a reminder i am painfully active on pintrest so uhhh ya:3!! BTW most of these hcs are just stupid and for fun so like pls dont get offended and feel free to add on or give suggestions:3!!

[erospandemos]

Exam stress

Minnie x Reader

Length: 2.1k

Nicha notices how hard you're studying and gives you comfort for the exhaustion.

Note: Minnie's real name is Nicha Yontararak

Dedicated to @svndaysaweek

You were sitting on your desk, frowning, with a hand on your face to prevent exhaustion from planting your nose flat on the desk. Your eyes were burning, your eyelids felt heavy, your back was giving up on you, and the engines inside your brain were too filled with rust to function properly. 

Late-night study sessions were the norm for most students, especially if the competition was high. But it was all easy and done with the help of a coffee and the incoming threat. The problem was doing it for a week straight. At this point, coffee didn’t work anymore and the only thing keeping you awake was pure willpower. You knew the finals were near and you were terrified, you couldn’t stop now.

Nicha knew something was wrong. She briefly wondered if it was just her impression but really she just noticed all those minor differences in your behavior—you started talking to her less, compressing your conversations into tiny paragraphs, your movements got more sluggish, and your brightness seemed to fade away. 

She wasn’t worried about you cheating, losing feelings, and whatnot. Her first guess was your health. But then she remembered what you told her weeks ago: “Nicha, the finals are coming so I’ll have to study a lot more. Sorry, I’ll make up for it when they’re finished, okay?”

Nicha walked down the corridor and into your room. 

“Baby…how’s the studying going?” she asked softly, barely touching your shoulder. “I know math makes you feel like you want to rip your eyes out…”

You didn’t answer at first. You didn’t really hear her—it took you a moment to register her voice.

“Hey, sweetheart? How’s it going? Definitely see more writing in that notebook…” Nicha made another attempt, putting her head closer to you to look at your desk. 

It was because you turned around and looked at Nicha, that you finally noticed the dark sky out of the window and realized how late it was. She looked at you, a bit surprised at your furious eyes and crooked frown. Your expression wasn’t as contorted as it looked, but the dark circles stepped it up a notch.

“Why are you looking at me like that…?” she whispered with hesitation.

You let out a loud growl, turning around and ripped away a page of your notebook. Whatever. You didn’t need those, they came out all wrong anyways. You were going insane. You studied math all afternoon: you got most of them right at the start but as time went on, you kept making more mistakes and now they were all wrong. What was even more frustrating was how stupid the errors were.

“Oh, oh, okay. Erm…baby?” Nicha stumbled, trying to find the right words. 

You sighed and shoved your face in your hand for the nth time to scrap the tiredness out of your skin. 

“Sweetheart, are you…are you mad at ME? If I need to give you space, I will, I just…”

“No, no, it’s not you Nicha,” you finally spoke up.

“No? Okay. Are you frustrated?”

“Yeah… sorry, Nicha, I kinda snapped. It all kinda stacked up—the exercises look impossible, studying the same subjects for days is so tiring, the news of the test are making more and more scared, I really need to study more, to get more of them right, I—”

“It’s okay baby,” she shut you up, placing a hand on your nape. You closed your lips and listened to her voice. If it wasn’t for her, you’d just be raging even more and tire yourself uselessly. “You don’t have to explain—I get it. Math wasn’t my….best subject either.”

“There’s this thing where I need to compute this thing and I need all sort of tricks. I probably have to see it like a convolution or something…”

“Uhhh… What the hell is that?” Nicha’s honest reply made you chuckle. Your words really sounded absurd.

“That sounds super complicated. And by the looks of those weird things on your laptop, it is. Who invented this shit?”

“We all have to do it though,” you said, defeated.

Nicha sighed. “No, no, you’re right. But why don’t we come up with a plan for this, hmm? You’re just studying for hours on end without rest, it surely won’t be effective.” Nicha took your hand and pulled you up from your chair, pulling you to the bed. You didn’t say anything and followed her. She sat down against the wall and back hugged you like a huge stuffed animal, keeping you warm and comfy. 

“So how much stuff do you have to know for this exam?”

“Well, I have language first with all the reading, literature and writing. Then math, the basics are okay but then there is calculus, probability and geometry, which is so hard. Then there are the other subjects like physics, geography and history—I think it’s manageable, I just have to memorize.”

“Mhmm. Okay. And how much time do you have before the exam?”

“Next month,” you said and buried your face on your knees from desperation. Nicha noticed it and hugged you tighter, placing her hands under your chest and keeping her body glued to your back. For a moment, your muscles relax and all the built up stress dissipated. You let her cuddle you, which she was really enjoying. 

“Starting studying early. Good job, so let’s divide this up…”

“8-10 hours a day should be good.”

“No, no. Baby that’s too much for one day.”

“It’s the bare minimum, Nicha, I won’t be able to remember anything if I don’t—”

“Don’t argue with me. You already know it’s not going to work. Look at you, you can barely stand up, you’ll end up in the hospital before you can even attend the test. You have to sleep and get rest or the subjects will just drip out of your ears and you will forget them.”

“I need to study more.”

“I KNOW you need to study,” Nicha sighed. “Baby, you’ve been going for so long I bet you’re not even retaining any information right now. You’re just making yourself more frustrated.” 

“I guess you’re right, maybe that’s why I am making so many mistakes… I’m a bit sleepy actually.”

Nicha raised her face and looked at the clock. 1 AM. “…jeez, baby. You little sneak! You distracted me. I had NO idea it was THIS late. You need to sleep.”

Before you could say anything, your stomach spoke for you, letting out a low rumble. You blushed and shrinked in Nicha’s embrace. She just chuckled at your action but immediately turned serious, pinching her eyebrows. “You haven’t eaten dinner yet, did you?”

“No…” you said quietly.

“You damn— fine, let’s go eat something. There are still some cup noodles in the drawer.” Nicha got up, and jumped off the bed. Feeling her warmth leave your back was a bit disheartening but you really had to go eat because the hunger was killing you. As soon as you stepped down the bed, you felt light-headed, realizing Nicha was right and you pushed yourself too hard. 

Your girlfriend was already putting water in the boiler and taking the cups out. 

You smiled and looked at her, slowly stepping into the kitchen. She looked so focused on getting everything. Her big t-shirt flowing around, matching her striped long pyjama pants, she looked comfy with her hair tied up in a messy bun. 

You were lucky to have her caring for you.

When this hell was over, you’ll have to find a good date place and really spoil her.

“Hey, don’t just stand there, come help me.”

“I’m coming,” you said and followed her.

As the kettle finally clicked off, signaling the water was ready, Nicha held the cups steady. You carefully poured the hot water into each cup, the steam rising in a warm, fragrant cloud. The noodles quickly softened. You closed the lids, after putting in the seasoning mix, and waited for a few moments.

Nicha got the kimchi out and placed some plump pieces of cabbage on a plate.

You tried to ask her about her day but Nicha was more focused on you and wanted you to rant, at least for now. She insisted on asking more about you and gave you time to think and speak. She looked at you with a smile, her eyes didn’t leave you for even one second.

“School is so stressful… and although everyone tells me it will be better in uni, I don’t really believe them.”

“Oh, I know, I know. I know school is so stressful. It’s like a full-time job you’re not getting paid for.”

“If I can get a good score, I’ll get into a good uni. Only then, I’ll be able to rest.”

“I know your studies are important to you. And I’m really proud of you for that. You worked really hard and I can’t be anything else but proud. But frankly, it makes me a little sad when you hole yourself up to study all the time instead of going out from time to time.”

“I’m sorry for disappointing you,” you confessed.

“No, no, I’m not disappointed. I love you the way you are. I know you still care about me and I always see it. Whenever you can, you always buy food for me, you listen to all the bullshit I have to say, your messages…” Nicha stopped herself before she’d get lost in her ranting. “I’m not going to tell you that grades aren’t important because I know it’s really important for you, but I just hope you don’t get too lose in your studies and forget about yourself.”

You finished your noodles by distracting yourself with jokes and stories, Nicha always had something interesting to say. You didn’t go outside much these days and neither did your friends because of the preparation for the exam, so you could only tell her about what you saw on the internet but you could still make her laugh.

You took turns to brush your teeth and wash your face in the bathroom, while Nicha was putting everything away. You walked to your desk and looked at the notebook. Just one quick look won’t do you any harm, you could look at the notes once more to make sure they really sticked. You sat down and flipped through the pages back to the start.

When Nicha entered the room, she yelled, “What do you think you’re doing?!”

“I’m just… I’m just reviewing a little bit. I’m not going to study anymore,” you said with guilt, the guilt of someone that just betrayed the person that trusted you the most. 

“I just saw you yawn. We both know you wanna sleep.”

Nicha got a hold of you between her arms to convince you to get up. You tried to resist but she was so persistent that you couldn’t resist much longer. You quickly put everything away and went on the bed, with Nicha joining you. 

Her hair flowed gently over her shoulders, and her eyes radiated warmth and tenderness as she looked at you. Sensing your need for comfort, the girl extended an inviting hand. You accepted the gesture, and you moved closer, sitting down on the edge of the bed, facing each other. 

Their eyes locked, and the girl gently wrapped her arms around the boy, pulling him close into an embrace. Their bodies molded perfectly together, and the world seemed to disappear as you held each other. Everything that happened that week and everything that worried you about the future. She could feel the tension in our body, the weight of your worries, and she knew she needed to help you.

She began to softly whisper sweet nothings into his ear, her breath warm against his skin. "I’m really proud of you," she murmured, her voice like a gentle lullaby. "You're stronger than you know, and I care about you more than words can express." 

As they cuddled, the girl's fingers traced soothing patterns on your back, moving with a gentle, rhythmic motion. Each stroke seemed to wash away a bit of your worries, replacing them with a sense of security and belonging. She pressed tender kisses on your forehead, your cheeks, and finally, your lips, conveying her love and affection without the need for words.

With each passing moment, your tension gradually melted away, and you began to relax in the girl's arms. Her comforting embrace and loving words acted as a soothing balm. And the weight on your back finally slipped away.

You laid on the bed with her and slowly started to drift away until you fell asleep. 

THE END

Written, 24 September 2023

[red-might-be-dead]

hello hi here to force strange thoughts into your brain once again, this time about jrwi (wow who could’ve guessed)

been thinking about this for a little but it’s basically what i think some campaigns would be if not podcasts, i haven’t listened to some of the older ones so i’m sorry they’re not on here :(( if you have any ideas feel free to add them btw :DD

RIPTIDE!!!!! - really long animated series

not an anime though, no matter how much grizzly wants it, it would be an animation style where the characters could have very clearly different nose, face and body shapes, really pushing my riptide nose agenda here sorry, each episode would be like 20-40 minutes long and instead of coming out in seasons there would be massive gaps in between episodes, from 2-6 months long, to leave time for writers and animators to get stuff done (massive team of animators btw, i feel like it would be pretty successful)

PRIME DEFENDERS!! - comics

literally nothing else they could be, just really well made, well performing comics (i’ve already talked about this before you can stalk my talk tag if you really want to find it lmao), the comic company making them would be keeping well away from movies n shit btw

APOTHEOSIS!!! - i wasn’t really sure about this one to be honest

i had to ask my friend and she said anime which i don’t agree with but i can see it, i think maybe a short book series where each book is 150 - 300 pages and is about a different god they have to kill/a different episode, i think that works but if anyone has any better ideas please tell me :D!!

BLOOD IN THE BAYOU!!! - i hate to say it, i really do…

bitb would be a really long really good 80s horror book with strong homoerotic undertones, a satisfied fanbase and lots of active members in the community making fan comics, films, writing, theories and art ect… until well after the book came out……….. and then it would be made into the most egregious and awful live action movie you have ever seen, the most awful casting (like chris pratt as officer dudes….. throws up) and even worse sfx, oh yeah and the characters would be ruined and the story would become so butchered it wouldn’t make sense, they would do some shit like cut out becky so kian just kisses some random lady (removing both a really good and well written character and a layer of kian’s character that i think is super important) and make rolan really be an evil bug spy the whole time so rand has to kill him to save the town also add in a whole new sub plot that never existed like the rand family is secretly a long line of bug alien hunters or something fucking stupid like that and the entire fanbase would murder whoever thought re-writing the story was a good idea (ahaha can you tell ive been through something like this before ahahaha, character morals and motives being removed and whatnot ahahahhahahaha.)

anyways………

THE SUCKENING!!! - live action series

it would be well made though, unlike the bitb movie it would be its own original thing, have great makeup and effects also be well casted and well shot, well written, ect ect, it would bloody and gory and not suitable for people who can’t handle showing bones and organs all over everywhere, lots of shitty rip off merch would be made though and the fandom would be 99% gay little freaks (normal suckening enjoyers) and 1% homophobic straight white men who get mad whenever they see soda and emizel having gay sex on screen or whatever fag shit that biting thing was

again feel free to add your thoughts and ideas and shit in the reblogs it would be nice to read them :DD!!

[fae-morrigan]

hi…I was thinking about your jay/damian step-brothers au (I hope I got the right blog bc I searched through your blog and didn’t find anything but like I’m so sure it was you), but anyway…any scraps you have about this au that you can share…pleaseee

like their initial reactions and whether or not this is something Damian would flaunt, or anything else you have 🙏

How about a little more than just some scraps? For you, my lovely anon, who asked about the thing I've been circling in my brain for WEEKS?!

Sara and Talia get together when Damian isn't born yet. It starts as just a convenience thing, putting aside their nasty breakup as college students to raise their kids with a more unified/powerful house. And then of course they re-catch their feelings and their marriage becomes For Love.

Jay, who's of course around 6 (and just lost his other mom) thinks Damian is a very ugly baby. He comes around eventually.

Sara and Talia's respective influence on their sons ends up changing a lot about these two in this AU.

For one, Jay, like Damian, is trained from combat from childhood, and ends up taking a specialty in bladed weapons (where Damian is more of a jack of all trades). He ends up also being a lot less shy and even is actively assertive even before the experiments, making him a bit of an oddball in Gamorra (which retains Japan's culture of politeness) but also a bit of a leader. He ends up taking after Talia in terms of her strategic cunning when it comes to people, more than willing to pluck a person out of the crowd if he thinks they have a shared goal.

Meanwhile, with Sara's influence (specifically kicking Ra's to the curb immediately because only son boy allowed and Gamorra MORE than has the resources to tell him to shove it) Damian has a much more... Normal isn't the word, but happy is, childhood. They still have their grand political goals that these two are being raised to help realize, but Gamorra has a huge culture of 'it takes a village' when it comes to kids and so from the start Damian sees himself less as the top of a lateral hierarchy and more a leading part of a grander horizontal convoy.

(I'll elaborate a bit on Ra's in a later post once I pin down Jon & Nika in this au. Stay tuned!)

The fall of Gamorra goes, somehow, even worse. Talia and Sara in this au are not above rigging the election to make sure Bendix, Least Obvious American Plant Ever, doesn't win and take control of all their combined assets, except Bendix decides an election is for suckers and in this au just straight up stages a coup with American backing. Both Talia and Sara get captured: Sara gets taken first, with Talia and Jay getting captured together while ensuring Damian escapes to Bruce.

Damian's first meeting with Bruce in this au is not precipitated by his final birthday victory over Talia- In this AU, they never played that game at all, as Damian had zero interest in ever knowing his father (why dad when perfectly good two moms?). Rather, its precipitated by being the only survivor of his family when imperialism came knocking.

He still becomes Robin, and he still has an arc around learning the true power of violence and Why Killing Is Bad, but its with a different set of challenges: Rather than trying to help Damian unlearn his arrogance and deep-rooted trained violence, Bruce has to help Damian overcome his survivors guilt. Part of Damian's motivation for staying Robin and becoming the strongest is to save his mothers and his brother here.

He hates the other bats even more at first, here. They're not Jay, so why bother? His brother is gone.

Jay's story also goes almost the same but with slight differences- He still finds the revs, and still founds The Truth, and still sets out on a quest to exploit and destroy Bendix, but....

Everyone he exposes in The Truth's pages as helping Bendix's regime? Yeah, he kills them. With a sword.

(Also he's a bit of an arrogant dickhead here because he immediately gets to the revs and decides it is HE who is in charge. Dont worry, they soften him up a bit.)

The plot of this au formally kicks off when Robin (Damian), during the We Are Robin arc (which plays out almost entirely the same) gets wise to a string of mysterious murders that has seemingly migrated from Metropolis to Gotham.

I'm really proud of these designs btw, lol. Jay's especially.

Thanks for asking! I'll have more on this AU soon and will absolutely accept any more questions you guys have.

[doodle-do-wop]

Kotlc theory: spoilers for Stellarlune

I'm probably gonna slap this on discord cause I like rambling to my friends but it felt like a fun theory to drop here anyway

It's a very very VERY long plot point that I honestly kinda maybe somewhat thought about the first time it popped up but the missing star stone Gisela had commissioned into a hair thingy

Biana mentions her dad taking her to buy a comb once when she was young and that was that up until Stellarlune when the star stone is essential now for Elysian and Biana, brilliant girl that she is, has a theory about the stones and as per use, she's right. Whenever Biana has a theory there is like a 90% chance she's right or she was still right but just slightly missed the target. So it turns out Biana has had the star stone this whole damn time sitting in a box because little baby Biana didn't think it was pretty/it wasn't the one she wanted

But Cyrrah purposefully gave the star stone to Biana and yeah it could just be because no one would think twice about some little kid having what is essentially the government's biggest secret in a jewelry box for who knows how many years but could Biana have been essential to Elysian in some other way besides being the keeper of the place?

Had Alvar ever been ordered to snoop through his family's jewelry because Gisela heard they bought something from Cyrrah but everyone just shrugged her off because she's crazy and paranoid and none of Della's jewelry was special but womp womp Gisela uses her brain for something other than kicking kids and she right

I know Biana is Shannon's favorite plot device for moving things along and Dex is her favorite when she remembers he exists and needs to set a kid on fire (I really hope Dex doesn't die in the final battle because if anyone is going down to an exploding glittery rock it would be Dex but knowing him and fire Dex might survive this) but I genuinely think Biana might still have a foot in the door with this whole Elysian thing

And yeah, big shocker I'm talking about Stina again, but where the fuck did this kid get a book on BATTLE STRATEGY??? How did this 'cowardly' character who has only been in ONE FIGHT THAT WASNT EVEN GIVEN TO US IT WAS JUST SPARK NOTES NEVER TO BE TOUCHED UPON AGAIN( Shannon when I catch you Shannon) HOW DID SHE OF ALL THE CHARACTERS WHO HAVE NEARLY LOST THEIR LIVES USE THAT THING INSIDE HER SKULL CALLED A BRAIN AFTER ONE BATTLE AND THINK "hey i should learn battle strategy" WHEN NO ONE ELSE DID

Shannon hates me, it's true, she stuck a sticky note to my door that says 'I hate you Doodle-xoxo go piss girl (Shannon)' and I saw her in a Mazda waiting for me to read the note and then dramatically burn tires as she drove off, so I know this blonde woman will do SOMETHING that will make me wanna throw book 10 into the ocean. It will probably be the page count of the book for the number of 'last time on Shameless' filler paragraphs. But she'll do SOMETHING to piss me and only me straight off and it's gonna have something to do with Stina I feel it in me bones.

Cause where did she get a battle strategy book????? Who did Stina go up to and say 'hey does my library card work for goblin writings on battle strategy?'. Elves don't have those types on books they're allegedly peaceful but I mean if they made themselves forget about Nightfall and Elysian the elves might have a super secret dark history of battle strategy.

Biana, Fitz, Tam, Linh, Wylie, Stina, Dex, (I don't even remember if Keefe was there I just recall the Horse Girls and Sophie punching stained glass while Marella shows her support for the LGBT) and the rest of the adults who have so far been nerfed beyond nerffing

Unless Shannon decides she needs a book 11 book 10 is about to be the longest book I've ever had the misfortune of laying my eyes on or worse, broken into two book parts

Shannon can't drop cookie crumbs no more she can only drop the full fucking box of cookies so that battle strategy better come in clutch like the deus ex machina I know it's going to be but I also think it's hilarious that Sophie and the gang leave Stina to her own devices for maybe less than 24 hours and Stina managed to set up a full armada in that time.

Shannon had Stina do far too many things in Stellarlune that are never touched upon/mentioned after they're said and once again, she can't drop crumbs she can only drop the whole cookie. Stina in Stellarlune volunteered to 1) talk to a psychopath 2) search through Kenric's library for a crystal that still wasn't found and 3) read battle strategy while calling herself their strongest asset

Stina has to have something up her sleeves and it better be something big or I'm fighting Shannon in the park lot again. Stina could have gotten the book on battle strategy from Kenric's library tbh and asked to check it out or she was only allowed to read it in Kenric's library. Who knows. I think it's hilarious that Oralie might've had to report back to the council that Stina Heks is reading battle strategy books. Lord only knows how Timkin handled telling the Collective his daughter is reading those books.

Can't believe Stina might be a deus ex machina in book 10, I will go crazy if book 10 is too long and has to be broken up into two parts. I still feel like Biana plays a bigger part because she always does. And this has gone from theory to nonsensical rambling but that's just how this blog rolls

[birb-boyo]

How Short is SR Link?

This question spawned after I went searching through the Sacred Ream page(all made by @zelda-the-sacred-realm) and I saw a picture of Realms(?) standing next to Wild and went “HOW SHORT OS THIS MAN???”

So, as stated before, all art credit goes to @zelda-the-sacred-realm

Also, this entire post is a joke. Please, for the love of god, don’t take it seriously💀💀💀

This guy is S H O R T. Short king, if you will.

1st piece of evidence?

See here, Realms is slightly bent over, yes, but you can still see a difference.

I gave a measurement of how he is slouched and an estimate of him standing straight

Both of which still make him look tiny…?

Not only that, but Wild is behind Realms. Which, if that one yellow chair perspective trick from Brain Games taught me right, that means that he should seem shorter than the nearer figure, but maybe this doesn’t work because they’re so close

So then that means that it’s time to dig deeper, right? Well good ol’ Google says:

No, I didn’t feel like reading through articles, I’m not Matpat, HOWEVER, hypothetically, if Wild stopped growing after Breath of the Wild, that means that Wild, according to Screen Rant, is somewhere between 4’11 and 5’2…

That means that Realms is probably in the 4 foot threshold

BUT THATS ONLY A HYPOTHETICALLY-

WE DONT KNOW IF WILD GREW MORE…right?

WRONG. HE DID.

(Picture taken from this)

Here, Wild is being yanked by Time. So, reasonably, he is on slippery footing, basically tilting, only the chain keeping him from falling

And here’s my estimate

Far fetched? I know, but hear me out-

Wild didn’t stop growing. This is because Wild is still technically 17 in BotW. A male is expected to stop growing at around 21.

So, if Wild grew tall enough to be Time’s height-

Your wrong

What?

You’re like…so wrong

Proof?

We’ve already gotten a comparison between Time and Link, why not just use that?

…what comparison?

…this one (from this)

…DAMN HE’S SHORT-

I thought we already knew this?

GET OUT OF MY STUDIO

Stop edging everyone and get to the point then.

…ANYWAY that is at least a foot difference between Link and Time, but here’s another clashing factor-

The Hero’s Shade

…yeah, the Hero’s Shade. If this Time is as Tall as the Hero’s Shade then

Thank you Kerest, I didn’t feel like doing real diving😌

So if this Time is 6’5…Link just might not be as short as a short king

So now we’re back to square one.

How Tall is Sacred Realm Link?

He’s 5’5 btw

@trippygalaxy @majorproblems77 :]

[sibillascribbles08]

People who followed me way back when I was posting VHHB may remember I had a personal AU where Donnie was raised by Holly Blue. Yeah my brain kind of blew up with it the other day, adding in Leo being raised by Bueford, the tension between Raph and Mikey being cranked up to ten, and a lot of other craziness

Anyway here's a doodle page.

Couple of other quick points

Donnie's full name in this AU is Belladonna, but Leo still calls him Donnie

Leo's name is just Leo, no longer form

Due to losing two children, Splinter is rather protective over Raph and Mikey and Raph being the big brother starts picking up on this as well, and Mikey finds it suffocating.

Leo and Donnie have known each other since they were toddlers and consider themselves to be cousins (they don't know they're related)

ID under the cut (it's a big one tho oh gosh)

[ID: A massive page of doodles, some colored and some not, for an AU of Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Starting in the upper left corner is a two panel comic featuring an alternate design of Donatello. In the first panel he's holding a cigarette close to his mouth and attempting to light it. In the next panel, a voice from someone out of view shouts "Belladonna! Did you steal my cigarettes again!" Donnie drops the cigarette in surprise, and the antenna attached to the ear pieces he wears go straight up.

Just below it are a small doodle of Holly Blue, a mutant wasp, holding a baby Donatello who is reaching for her antenna. And a simple drawing of a shield bug.

To the right of it is a three panel comic. In the first panel is a drawing of Draxum with his mask still on, pointing with two fingers. He says, "Matter of fact, your eggs hatched on the same day." In the next panel is a simple drawing of Donatello and Leonardo. Leonardo is gasping with his arms out while Donatello just looks shocked. In the next panel Leonardo is holding Donatello by the suspenders and shaking him while shouting, "We've not only been brothers this whole time but TWINS?"

To the right of that is a simple drawing of Leonardo holding up a bagel and looking sympathetic while looking at Raphael who has giant tears in his eyes. Leonardo says, "Can I offer you a bagel in this trying time?"

Below that is a drawing of Michelangelo pointing, his hand larger due to perspective, and glaring sharply as he shouts, "I'm 13 I'm basically an ADULT."

In the bottom left is a drawing of Leonardo, his fists on his hips and smiling with his tongue sticking out. Rather than his usual outfit he has a pale yellow bandanna on his head, an off-white tank top, and blue shorts. The tank top has a logo for Bueford's Bagels on it, the design of an ouroborus but puffed up like pastry. The shorts feature the same yellow stripes on his legs.

To the right of this drawing are two small doodles, one of Leonardo hugging Bueford, a snake yokai, and another of a baby Leonardo biting into a bagel that's almost bigger than he is.

In the bottom right corner is a colored drawing of Michelangelo from the back. He's looking back just a bit and glaring at the floor, his eyes in shadow. He's clutching his left arm with his right hand. On the back of his shell is a hazy image of Shredder's face with a crack near the center of it.]

[mandareeboo]

Unfinished Work #60: "Untitled" (Finished)

I never felt up to publishing this, but I've been rewatching BoJack and felt it'd be good to put here! A little goodbye to an old friend between Hollyhock and Diane.

Title: N/A

Summary: N/A

"Sorry about this," the horse said. "You're probably really busy with writer things."

"You wanna know what I was going to do before coming out on the porch to have a smoke and chat with you?" Diane asked dryly. "I was about ten seconds away from telling my husband I was going out onto the porch to have a smoke. It's not even half the inconvenience you think it is."

"Oh," she responded, and fell silent.

Diane let out a gust of lung cancer in a long, drawn-out sigh. Texas is pretty in postcards but hotter than the sun in person, with the added bonus of all sorts of creepy crawlies straight out of the official nightmare catalogue, but it's kind of nice? There's trees everywhere. Lots of open, bumpy land. The spider currently weaving its web a few feet from her isn't even venomous- it's an orb weaver of some sort. All in all, better than death.

It'd be nicer if her company talked, though.

"Let me guess," Diane prompted, making her jump. "You're Hollyhock, right?"

"Bojack told you about me?" Hollyhock asked, ignoring her question.

"He told all his friends about you. He was really excited to have family he didn't loathe with all his being."

"Oh," she repeated, softer this time.

"Relax, you're not gonna end up on his wiki page or anything. And, for what it's worth, I'm really happy to meet you in person. You're shorter than I thought you'd be."

Hollyhock looked at her hands, where her phone was situated, then back at Diane. "Bojack's told me about you, too. He talked a lot about a lot of things, but you especially."

"And that made you think I had answers?"

She shrugged helplessly.

Diane took another drag. "You want the truth? He's an asshole. Whatever you feel or suspect about him is absolutely vindicated."

"Yeah." she said. "But I miss him anyway. Isn't that... awful?"

"No? I don't think it is. I mean, the part that sucks about people is that they're more than just one thing. Sure, Bojack is a sleezy, emotionally-abusive jerk who's slept with almost every woman he's ever met, but he also sends stupid little text messages about stuff he saw on his drive home, and one time when he got drunk he sang the lollipop song and it was actually the prettiest thing ever, and he helps you pack even though he complains the whole time. He's all that shit."

"He once threw his mom's doll out a window."

"I know. He told me."

"He did?"

"He's always drunk-dialed me. Fifteen years now, and I'm his drunk-dial SOS." Diane considered her cigarette a moment. It was her first one of the day. A new record low. "I never met her, but I spoke to Beatrice twice- for his book."

"Oh, yeah, that thing. I never read it?"

"It sold alright, but it wasn't the next great American novel. Anyway, I called the retirement home to get a statement- got the phone number off of Bojack's long-time manager and friend Princess Carolyn- and called. This was before the dementia really ate up her brain- think, I dunno, almost nine years before you knew her- and she was still pretty sharp. I said, 'hi, this is Diane Nyguyen, I'm ghost-writing a novel about your son, Bojack' and she said, 'what, is he too lazy to write it himself'?"

Hollyhock winced. "Woof."

"Oh, I'm just getting started." Diane flicked some ash away. "We went in circles a bit, but eventually I laid it out for her. 'Mrs. Horseman', I said, 'I'm writing about your son's life, and as such I have called to see if you had any note-worthy stories or quotes you'd like to add'. She was pretty quiet for a minute. Then she said, 'sure, why not, I'm dying anyway. Might as well debase myself even more.' She told me all about her husband, Butterscotch-"

"Bojack never said much about him."

"There wasn't much to say, honestly. Bojack took after him and he always hated himself for it. Beatrice despised her husband for being unfaithful, bitter, and sexist. And she told me, 'now, put this in your little book, girl, and put it word-for-word. Bojack took after him, but he had the sense to be a bit quieter about it; which is a bit like saying the hissing roach is less disturbing to the eyes than the American one because it eats leaves instead of garbage. They're both insects, and they're both a waste of the paper their books were written on'." She paused. "Gotta say, she was damn eloquent."

Hollyhock winced again. "Double woof."

"It's the one story I never put into One Trick Pony. Not because I thought she'd regret saying it, or because it wouldn't fit the tone of the book, but because I knew it'd rip Bojack apart. Even back then, I was putting him above my own job. He has a way of worming into things like that." Diane stamped out the rest of the smoke, then pulled out another one. "I used to smoke like a freight train, but now it's only when I get worked up. Sorry about the second-hand."

Hollyhock was quiet again, but this time it was more pensive than anything else. "I... wrote him a letter. I actually don't even know if he read it, because he kept sending me voicemails telling me he would, but he never told me he did before I changed my number. I thought it'd be over. I thought I was moving on, but..."

"Moving on isn't the same as moving away," Diane said. "Trust me. I've packed houses before. But even now, I still find myself looking for him in the news, or thinking back to the good times we had."

"Mhmm. He tried to learn sports for me, you know? Because he wanted to cheer me on. And that still means a lot to me. But then I remember that interview, and I just... I just can't do it. I can't talk to someone who's done stuff like that."

"That's completely in your right! I know you're a grown-up, but you're still pretty young, you know? Bojack's in his fifties. His problems shouldn't be on anyone, but they especially shouldn't be on you."

"You won't tell him I came, will you? I know you're friends, but..."

"I think your definition of friendship is a bit different from us, kiddo. I mean, we haven't spoken in almost a year now. I just go see his movies, and he sends me long rambling reviews about my books, and we follow each other on social media."

"That feels like friendship," she concurred. "Mrs. Nyguyen?"

"God, don't. Diane."

"Diane. Did you and Bojack….?"

"Nope. But not because he didn't want to. I was dating when we first met, and married a good chunk of the time I lived in L.A. Now I'm married again. If I hadn't been... well, he would've tried, if nothing else."

"And you?"

She pursed her lips. "There was a time where I lived in his house and spent every day getting shitfaced drunk, and nothing skeevy happened. He'd come home, I'd be drunk and when was Bojack not drunk? We'd drink more and we'd watch reruns of Horsin' Around. I liked that. It wasn't healthy, but I liked it. And I liked him. I try not to think too hard about it, but... I dunno, honestly."

Hollyhock pulled her knees to her chest. "I came here hoping to find a way to stop missing him. Now I just miss him even more? I hate emotions."

Diane smiled. It was bittersweet. "Now you sound like a true Horseman."

[cringelordofchaos]

Okay I think my obsession with Albert flamingo is getting concerning once again

I mean I was UTERRLY OBSESSED WITH HIM for like TWO YEARS STRAIGHT about two years ago to the point of it being detrimental to my social status

I would literally make the Albert "sus face" and my classmates would just say "ah they're doing that thing with their face again" and everyone would have me for it lol 😂😊😂😂

I made weird toys out of genuine trash with bad faces drawn on them inspired by his mannequins and I'd bring them everywhere

I would constantly sing earthworm Sally for years straight and my avatar was earthworm Sally too and people would say that the earthworm Sally meme is outdated and I would get so mad

My whole RECCOMENDED page on YouTube was just filled with flamingo. And NOTHING else. For like a year at least. Most likely more

I would rewatch videos over and over again and reference his memes all the time except literally I didn't know a single person that also watched flamingo

I drew fabart of him and Felipe

There were certain videos I would watch whenever I got sad. Like the one about paralysis demons, idk the way he reacted to the lesbian couple in the game really comforted me ig?? or the video that had Mario time in it (aka 03:37 AM), and him playing royale high, or superstar planet, or more stuff like that

I would listen to earthworm Sally remix on YouTube over and over again and I annoyed my family to death with it

Sometimes I would cry over just how much I loved his content personality and how much it felt like he raised my childhood and how much personality I would steal from him

Sometimes I just wanted to BE Albert. To WEAR HIS SKIN ON ME and BE HIM to the core of my heart and sometimes I would get genuinely UPSET over the fact that I am NOT him and never will be (and it happened again last night)

Now all of it is happening AGAIN except I have a whole year of his content to catch up on, and except I am less obvious about it. I mean, the only content on YouTube I'm capable of watching as of now is flamingo, so my siblings can tell I am getting obsessed, but overall I'm a bit more reserved (a shy little boy I am) and would feel way too embarrassed about doing random faces in public like that

And I've noticed I started watching him more like - 3 days ago ? And I've realized my brain will involuntarily make me think of random things HE says in HIS voice and sometimes my inner dialogue would turn into his voice

... Uh yeah

Idk if I should be too concerned. I mean I get pretty obsessive about my hobbies and interests and I always return to my old ones and it's happening with flamingo

Oopsyy

Anyway since I'm already imagining myself with his voice I am giving permission to everyone following me to imagine me with his voice too, in fact I encourage it

I AM GOING TOM WEAR HIS SKIN

(and now Im going to write crackfics about Felipe)

[ladyseidr]

So, as you may know from his muse page, Rory has ( obviously undiagnosed ) ADHD. I wanted to delve more into this ( and project some of my ADHD onto him lmaooo ).

so, we'll start heavier and then move on to the mostly lighter stuff: yes, his ADHD is disabling. no, he does not know that. yes, he's thinks he's just lazy and stupid ( he's not </3 ).

no, his would-be-shitty-no-matter-what parents do not help the above, although his mom's emotional abuse / judgment actually gives him the bigger complex abt it

he does struggle academically despite the fact that, talking to him about his interests / stuff he's knowledgeable about, he clearly comes across intelligent. he struggles with focus, some memory issues, plus general test anxiety despite claiming to not care about school. he hears a lot of "try harder" despite, like, actually putting effort in for many years of his schooling.

he graduates high school, barely ( as in, highly considered dropping out for 101 reason, including the ADHD ). no, he doesn't even consider college.

the combination of untreated ADHD, C-PTSD, and definitely an ( un ) healthy dose of depression make it hard for him to work "traditional jobs," so he does mostly odd jobs. at some point after getting his own place, i def think he starts diving into his art a little more. can aspen write a muse who isn't a creative? tune in next time to find out.

unrelated, but i am serious about the band idea. about him joining some local, semi-decent band as a singer.

ANYWAY some lighter stuff now: guy who always has one major ( months and months long ) and one minor ( 1-2 weeks ) hyperfixation going on at all times.

his common types of hyperfixations tend to be: specific comic book series or characters, specific bands, D&D, video games, and so forth.

he does get pulled back to previous hyperfixations sometimes, especially favorite characters ( like batg.irl, green ar.row, nightc.rawler, spid.er-man, etc )

please let him infodump at you. please let your muse find it endearing when he talks for 30 minutes straight about the latest Batm.an series. or about his new spray paint. or about anything.

btw i'm adding this just to be petty because i brought up comics but i promise you he called in and voted for jason not to die. i think older rory read "Under the H.ood" and felt the most validation he'd ever felt in his life. this isn't even fn.af-related anymore, let me get mad about D.C for a second—

( actually let's be real rory relating to jason big time is Real and Canon to me. anyway hayla, if you're reading this—)

sometimes his brain moves faster than his mouth and he literally can't say what he wants to say fast enough to get it out coherently ( real real real ).

he does miss social cues sometimes, but how much of that is ADHD vs him just not being properly socialized prior to school is debatable. pre-bite, he's able to laugh it off when someone calls him on it.

projecting big time but i think he should be a rocker ( as a stim ). if he's sitting down, he's probably rocking or bouncing his leg or something. if he's standing, he's shifting foot-to-foot constantly. that's not to say he can never be still, but he stims quite a lot. it's not always ( or even often ) a sign of nerves, he just gets restless.

in fact, honestly a lot of his idle behavior can scream "nervous" if you don't realize he's simply restless.

his recklessness is honestly not something i'd attribute to his ADHD. he has little care for his own safety, but i think that's a lot broader then ( or even wholly unrelated to ) his ADHD

does he ever get diagnosed? it's probably well into his 30s before he can even be convinced to try therapy, but yeah, i think eventually he gets diagnosed and tbh i think he probably cried the first time he read the, like, symptoms of it and realized it fit him. also when he gets on medication. this is supposed to be a happy bullet point but AGH </3

anyway rory infodumping at your muse starter call when?

[knickynoo]

BTTF: The Animated Series, s01ep02, "A Family Vacation" Review and Commentary

Previous episodes will get linked HERE. (top of page)

I didn't mention in my last post, but I have seen the first season before--about 2 years ago. I have basically no memory of it (I guess my brain was like, "yeah, no, we don't need this" and just dumped it), so this is a lot like watching again for the first time. Never seen the second season, so that'll be all new to me.

In this episode: We travel to England, Doc duels with one of Biff's ancestors, and we meet Marty's goofy relative Harold McFly.

Ok, let's jump in.

Interesting. I thought all these episodes began with Real Doc in his lab, but this one seems to skip that part and goes straight to animation. Christopher Lloyd is narrating, though, which is nice, I suppose. Still not as good as getting to actually see him. Automatic points deducted from this episode for not immediately showing me Doc's face. More Real Doc, less cartoon, please. Thanks.

I am thrilled to announce that we have found Clara! (she did not appear at all in episode 1) She's voiced by none other than Clara herself, Mary Steenburgen.

As you may be able to tell, she's shed her 1885 attire in favor of modern clothes. And right away, we learn that she's become super tech-savvy as well. The Brown house has many futuristic features to it (either from Doc's travels or his own inventions) and Clara is using two of them here. The device on her leg allows her to work out without actually having to move, and the thing on her finger has some sort of laser feature that allows her to grade school papers on a screen across the room. And I can only wonder how it is that Clara has managed to get a job teaching in a modern school—not so much because of any gaps in knowledge she may have (Clara's super smart, I'm sure she could catch up) but because I'm wondering about the interview process. Surely she must have had to show identification and fill out forms. I can only assume that Doc has gotten forged documentation somehow for his entire family with made up birth years, medical records, etc.

I would have liked an episode about that. Kids would've enjoyed an episode all about Doc creating fake birth records for his wife and kids, right? Right??

Elsewhere in the house, Jules and Verne are busy playing with remote control cars and an elaborate model train set. Hmm...seems like this episode is setting up lots of scenes with technology in preparation to give us the ol' "too much tech is bad for you" lesson.

Our good buddy Doc is even in on the tech craze. He's busy building robot arms that will turn newspaper pages for him so he doesn't have to do it himself, lol. Unfortunately, this causes a power surge, and all the lights in the house go off. The family is not happy. Doc comes to the realization that they've all become spoiled by technology. He declares that they all need to take a vacation to a time without electricity and ushers them to the DeLorean.

As the car flies off into the sky, Marty and Jennifer are walking down the street.

Um. That's—that's Jennifer. Yeah. I don't know what happened there. Her design upsets me. Marty is still in his silly letterman jacket. I'm thisclose to photoshopping a denim jacket onto him. Why is he wearing high-waisted jeans?

As they watch the car, Marty tells Jennifer, "I don't guess we'll be borrowing the car tonight." So, apparently, he's allowed to take the DeLorean through time all willy-nilly whenever he wants? That sounds like an absolutely horrible idea.

Doc takes the fam to England in 1367 because I guess he figures a good dose of dysentery will help put things in perspective for them? Anyway, he uses this high-tech camera thing to "change" all their clothes into Medieval ones. He says it's only an illusion that lasts a few hours, though. Idk, don't think about it too hard. To ensure the family all stays put and "enjoys" the trip, he programs the DeLorean to fly away, back to present day, and return later on to pick them up. There is no way that can possibly go wrong.

Clara is not happy with her husband.

"Of all the pig-headed, insensitive, macho things you've ever done, this takes the cake," she says. And. Can we just talk about how un-Doc-like those descriptors are? Insensitive? Macho?? OUR DOC? Cartoon Clara and Doc have a weird dynamic in this so far. I don't like the exasperated wife with a bumbling, inconsiderate husband trope.

We soon meet Lord Biffingham, Earl of Tannenshire. If you read my episode 1 review, you know that Thomas F. Wilson voices all Tannens in the show. He's really a bright spot in this series because the guy can do so many fun voices. We'll meet many more Tannen relatives in the show—Biff evidently has family roots all over the globe. Lord Biffingham orders Clara to be kidnapped by his cronies. Uh oh. Doc is also kidnapped. Double uh oh! It's up to Jules and Verne to save the day now.

They soon meet one of Marty's relatives! Harold McFly of the Sussex McFlys. Here they are all hanging upside down in a tree because they got caught in rope traps.

Those are traps Harold set, btw. He caught himself in his own trap. I love him already. Harold tells the boys that he's vowed revenge against Biffingham for stealing away "his lady" Jennivere (assumed to be one of Jennifer's relatives due to the name and fact she is literally just the Jennifer character from the earlier scene but in Medieval clothing). They team up to try to sneak into Biffingham's castle to rescue Doc, Clara, and Jennivere.

Meanwhile, Lord Biffingham asks Clara to marry him. First, though, he has to kill Doc. Yep. So far, we've had a Civil War episode featuring guns being pointed at Jules and Verne, and now a murder plot. Very fun.

Doc, however, isn't too concerned with his predicament. He's locked in a dungeon, having a grand ol' time identifying various bugs and rodents by their scientific names. And while I can't see Real Doc being quite so calm in such a time of crisis, I can see him taking breaks from his panic to be like, "Oooh, rattus norvegicus." (That's literally just a Brown Rat, btw. Doc is fascinated at seeing it.)

We go back to Marty Harold, Jules, and Verne, who are enacting their plot to infiltrate the castle. Harold sings and says some things to the guards, but I can only understand like a third of the words coming out his mouth because of his exaggerated accent. Harold what are you saying.

Lord Biffingham prepares for a jousting tournament against Doc, during which he plans to "eliminate" Doc. Biffingham has this massive horse, tons of fancy armor, and a huge sword thing. Doc has this:

I mean. I dunno, I believe in you, Doc.

Jules and Verne show up just in time to rig Doc's pathetic little "horse" with their motorized car that they snuck on the trip, which makes it go super fast. He's able to avoid Biffingham's attacks for a while, but eventually gets captured. Biffingham orders Doc, Jules, Verne, Harold, and even poor Einstein to be executed.

Doc makes a joke about himself and the boys being the first people to ever die before they were born and I just. I feel like this isn't the time for jokes, Doc? Your children are about to die and also—ALSO!—one of Marty's relatives, thus causing him to never be born in the future. Your vacation is destroying entire family lineages, Doc. This show belongs in the horror genre.

It's Clara who ends up saving the guys just in time! She and Jennivere use a ton of fabric to somehow make a hot air balloon, and they throw ropes down and fly the gang away.

With everyone free, Harold and Jennivere are reunited! He says it isn't safe for them to stay in England but he doesn't know where they can go. Doc suggests *drum roll* Ireland! And there are several things that come to my mind here.

One of Marty's relatives and one of Jennifer's relatives got married in the 1300s, moved to Ireland, and had kids—establishing the McFly family line in Ireland.

According to this, Doc is the one who caused the McFlys to even go there in the first place. So. How did they end up there originally? I guess Harold and Jennivere eventually decided on Ireland as well on their own.

It's Clara who helps to free Jennivere from the castle. Who got her out in the original timeline? Maybe Harold?

Shhh, Nikki, it's a cartoon

Anyway, Harold and Jennivere fly off to Ireland right that very moment in the hot air balloon.

Byeee! Goodbye Harold and Jennivere! Enjoy life in Ireland, you crazy kids.

I miss Seamus. I wish he was in this cartoon. That would make it better, I think.

Wait, wait. I just got sidetracked looking at the Animated Series wiki, and it turns out the opening live-action segment of Doc from this episode was cut from the DVDs, which is where I'm watching this on. It was apparently of him flying above Hill Valley in a hot air balloon. Why was this stolen from me?

Let's wrap this up. We finally get to see Real Doc! We also get one of my absolute favorite gags in all of media. And that is: when a character falls from a big height or is getting dragged or spun around and it's very obviously a fake, stuffed dummy. I cannot describe how much this gag amuses me. It is the peak of comedy, and more shows and movies should use it. Look.

It is hysterical. I watched this gif loop upwards of 15 times.

Based on the context I now have regarding the removed opening segment, it appears that Doc fell from his hot air balloon. He recovered from the lethal plummet like a champ. Must be due to the medical overhaul in 2015.

Bill Nye then shows us how to make our own hot air balloon using a plastic bag and hair dryer. That's basically the end of the episode.

Overall, I'd rank this episode as being better than the previous one. I did miss Marty, though; he was only in those 10 seconds at the beginning. But Harold was a fun guy. I like that they're keeping with the "all of Marty's relatives look just like him" thing. (Except for Arthur and George, of course)

Join me next time to see dinosaurs wearing clothes.

[letters-to-rosie]

for the fic writers ask (a bit late): 2, 3, 8, 9 and 41 please

it's not too late I like to talk lol

and I talked a lot so buckle in

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

my top 3 are "alternate universe - modern setting" (8/10), "alternate universe - college/university" (5/10), and "not beta read" (5/10, which is funny because 10/10 are not beta read lol)

and yeah, I can't say they don't represent me. when I was on ff.net I used a beta (my mom lmao) but now my grasp of English grammar is much better. I still miss stuff all the time (I found a word use error rereading something I'd published like a year and a half prior and wanted to scream lol), but it is what it is. even though I have professional editing credentials, it's really hard to edit your own stuff because your brain still fills in what it expects to see

re: modern setting and college setting, I started off my account publishing a couple college AU Fullmetal Alchemist one-shots; the only other college fic I had was my second prompt fill for the Arcane timebomb secret santa, where the prompt was to write in a modern setting. so that's all the college fics and 5/8 of the modern setting. another modern one is high school, since when I finished Arcane I felt a deep need to write Ekko in a high school setting because rarely had I felt so compelled by a single character. and the last two are the revolution universe, which is a funny story

idk how much I've mentioned this before, but the reason revolution is a modern setting is because I wanted to see if I could make an Ekko/Jinx roleswap work without the help of any of the story's magical elements. to restrict myself, I changed the setting. from there, developing modern Piltover/Zaun was just really fun. I took a lot of cues from the aforementioned high school setting fic I wrote and turned them up to 11. it has been and still is a fun ride, so I'm not mad about that choice at all

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

hmmmmmmm lol well line breaks! I like to make detailed little line breaks. some show up better on one platform than another (for example, the revolution telephone line breaks look WAY better on desktop imo), but I think they are cute

in terms of more trope-related things, I actually had a hard time for a moment. I went and looked at some fics of mine to try and find an answer

humor is one, for sure. big believer in laughing even on the worst day of your life. I think that's how I survived mine, and I think the characters I write about would be the same, finding something absurd or funny even when things are really bad

another one, I think, is attention to the mundane. I'm not a super detailed writer; purple prose isn't really my personal style. but I like writing about boring things. little things, you know?

the last one I'll bring up is setup and payoff. that's one of my personal favorite writing devices. I really enjoy putting the pieces in place and watching it all come together is always really satisfying. especially when combined with a focus on the mundane. like I have one story where Ekko's wearing a tie, and it matters.

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

hmmmmm well I don't know if there are any I'd want to see just adapted straight into a fic, or nothing comes to mind directly. or maybe it's that the songs I am thinking of are more vibes than plot? well anyway, Willow's Symptom of Life is one I really like lately, as well as Sampha and Little Simz's Satellite Business 2.0, Kenny Mason's Firestarter (or Metal Wings tbh, or like the entirety of Angelic Hoodrat), and Isaiah Rashad's Headshots (4 Da Locals)

9. How do you find new fic to read?

scroll on a tag, or someone I know writes something and I go read it, and sometimes recs

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

honestly, I just want to write like myself, but the goal is to shoutout other people so I picked one from each other the fandoms I've read the most of on ao3

for Fullmetal, Swallows on the Beam is a long-time fave; the detail of the worldbuilding is really great, and I love the amount of thought put into a setting that isn't even seen in the canon material. the prose is just really lovely too. the author has done such an incredible job, and I need to go through and actually comment on all the chapters someday, but I have so much to say that I know it'll take me forever lol. but like how can a scene of a character touching another character's earring make me lose my shit? that is the magic of this fic lol. one of the most romantic things I have ever read

for Hunter x Hunter, I really love a thousand miles wandering; the Silk Road setting is just so unique! the prose is great, character work is great, setting is worked into the story in a great way. all feels like generic praise, but the whole thing is just so well-rounded in its excellence

for Arcane, my favorite has always been The Revolution Will Not Be Televised; just has such an infectious energy. it's fun, funny, and it takes this fantasy setting and makes it feel very real, which in turn helps the characters feel even more real than they do in the show, in some ways

[traumadumpwriter]

Heavy trigger warning! This story includes heavy themes of ab*se, r*pe, self h*rm, mental illness and violence.

Check out every part by going on the tag Freedom on my page cx

Freedom: A John Shelby mini fic

Chapter four: 3924 words

The next morning, both John and Alice had woken up in a good mood despite their slight hangovers. Alice had awoken earlier than John so, unable to ignore her headache and go back to sleep, she decided to get a head start making breakfast for everyone.

Polly was the first to come downstairs, then Finn and then Arthur. The four of them sat in comfortable conversation as they ate, Arthur poking fun at Finn whilst complimenting Alice's cooking. When Tommy came down, he only grabbed a slice of toast before going straight into his office, earning an eye roll from Polly.

It was about five minutes later that John finally stumbled in, yawning and doing a big stretch. Instantly, his eyes caught Alice's and he sent her a quick wink before anyone else would turn and see him. The girl nearly felt her face go pink, watching the outline of his toned body through the white vest as he stepped over to the table.

"Smells bloody delicious." He smiled. "You're a real good cook you know?"

"Yeah. I know." Alice replied back with a smirk, earning a chuckle from the brothers.

"I see you're still humble." Polly scoffed, trying to poke light fun but the comment irritated Alice, seeing Polly was the person who suggested sending her away in the first place. To the younger woman, it almost suggested that the matriarch didn't feel enough guilt for her role in the suffering she'd endured and she felt an annoyed pit festering in her stomach.

Nonetheless, knowing not to challenge her authority, Alice let out an awkward laugh and forced the feeling to go away - as she'd unfortunately had to learn to do so. John's lingering gaze caught her attention anyway and her brain was soon again a flurry of excitement and affection.

As they all ate, John and Alice kept exchanging glances and smiles across the table - something that Polly noticed but kept quiet about. A part of her still saw Alice as the untameable teenage menace she once knew, a glint of trouble appearing in the girl's eyes every now and then.

She remembered how Clara would cry into her lap, not knowing how to stop her daughter from the constant self destruction she engaged in. She remembered Andrew, Jamie or even Arthur and Tommy having to physically restrain her on many occasions from either attacking someone, smashing something or hurting herself. She remembered the times that Alice would spit and scream and shout with rage before grabbing the nearest object and somehow harming herself with it, no matter how much anyone tried to calm her down.

Overall, Polly wasn't keen on the thought of one of her nephews - who were already engaged in so many problems - getting soft for a girl like Alice. A girl who had been nothing but chaos from the day she was born, a raging fire now seemingly dampened by an awful event. Polly was sure that her flame would be relit again though, it was just a matter of when, how and the size of the flame.

—————

Two weeks later, Alice found herself busy at The Garrison, as she had been since her first shift - only taking one day off to spend with Ada and Karl.

Following Harry's instructions, she'd quickly learnt the routine of pouring drinks, cleaning tables and chatting to the drunkards. It kept her mind comfortably busy and made her feel good, being treated with respect by most customers since being associated with the Shelby's. Some of the patrons had even known the woman back in her disastrous younger days and were almost shocked into sobriety upon realising who was serving them.

"Perhaps it takes them some time to realise because these long sleeves cover my arms." She thought to herself, remembering the simultaneous horror and fascination most of the neighbourhood had with her self inflicted scars. "Or maybe they're just blinder and stupider than I remember."

However, when her mind did have time to wander it would generally drift to either thoughts of Jones or John depending on her mood. On the bad days, she'd be snappy and rude to any customer that was even slightly annoying, her mind racing with cruel memories that put her on edge and made her angry. On the good days, she'd be full of laughter and energy, a general delight to anyone around her as she filled her spare moments with daydreaming about the Shelby brother.

They'd not spent another full night together since that one dancing in The Garrison, John and Arthur being busy in London with important business. When they were around, they had engaged in casual conversation but never being alone, the words meant little. Alice knew not to ask what exactly the business they were conducting actually consisted of, but she had a pretty good idea and had prayed for their safe return.

She didn't really believe in God, nor did she have doubt in John's own survival skills. But having seen the worst of men, she couldn't stop the worry from creeping in occasionally.

Every evening, she secretly hoped to hear Arthur's loud voice followed by John's laughter as they slammed open the Garrison doors. Instead she would end up listening to the ramblings of old drunks for hours and then stay up late, crying and cutting herself when got home; still struggling to deal with her immense trauma.

The exposure to drunken men had been both good and bad for her recovery; partially healing her fear, partially triggering it.

Today was a slow day; only a few regulars popping their heads in for a pint and a chat. One of the younger ones called David had taken a particular liking to Alice, sitting at the bar and making conversation with her for hours whilst she did her duties. He would occasionally make flirtatious remarks but the woman always laughed him off, enjoying the flattery but having no real interest.

It had now hit ten o clock and Alice had been chatting in the pub with David for a few hours since Harry asked her to close up by herself. There were three other men sat in the corner of The Garrison drinking and chatting to each other and although they payed the pair no mind, Alice was glad that they were there - slightly scared to be left completely alone with a man she hardly knew.

He'd gone to the toilet, finally giving her a moment of peace as she could stand in silence whilst she scrubbed the taps, letting her thoughts wander back to John and how badly she missed his touch. It was a confusing feeling for the traumatised woman: partially being terrified of intimacy and sex, ashamed by the way her body had been painfully ravaged. But there was also comfort in it; the girly crush made her feel like a teenager again, giving her back those years of innocence that she'd lost.

Those thoughts were cut off shortly though, as David returned from the toilet, drunkenly swaggering back over to the bar with a grin on his face.

"You know Alice, I look at you and think you ought to be a bloody movie star." He announced, slurring his words. "Another drink please m'lady!"

Alice scoffed as she poured his drink and took his money.

"What makes you think that? It's not like I can act." She smiled, sliding the drink across the bar before continuing to clean the taps, scrubbing them harder than they'd ever seemingly been before.

"Ladies don't need to be good at acting! They just need to be good to look at! And you Miss Alice are very good to look at!" His words made her cringe a bit and she awkwardly laughed, brushing it off as drunken idiocy.

Moments later, the three men in the corner stood up and left, leaving Alice with a sudden intense stroke of anxiety. The air went thick and silent.

She walked over to their table to take the empty glasses, her heart beating heavy as she had her back turned to David and felt extremely vulnerable.

His eyes were drilling holes into her, his gaze so intense that she physically felt it on her body, suddenly giving her gut an extremely uneasy feeling. She heard the sound of the stool scraping and his feet stepping towards her.

"He's going to attack me in any minute now. He might even know Jones and he's come here to get me." Her thoughts sprung with paranoia as she slowly turned around to face him again. "Do I run or do I fight?"

But before she got to decide if her thinking was rational, let alone make the decision, the front door swung open and in strutted Arthur and John, both bloody and bruised but seemingly in good spirits, halting David in his tracks.

"Where's Alice? I need a bloody pint!" Arthur immediately announced, looking to the bar and not seeing her in the dark corner on the other side of the room.

John did notice though, picking up on her uncomfortable posture as some mystery man eyed her up like a piece of meat. The man didn't even turn to face the boys as they walked in - meaning he must've not been from around there as he had no clue of the trouble he was getting himself in. That or he was a rival, purposely showing disrespect to get under the Blinder's skin.

Either way, John instantly paced over to him, Alice's eyes lighting up and posture relaxing upon seeing her knight.

"She's over here with this stranger watching her." John replied loudly, causing Arthur to spin his bar stool around and eye up the scene.

The younger brother put his arm around David's shoulders, a menacing grin lacing his lips.

"You look like you're really enjoying the company of our fair bar maiden here." John scoffed, looking David up and down in the most intimidating way possible, but the shorter man kept a brave face.

"So what if I am? She's a lovely young lass.. You don't mind me, do ya Alice?" David grinned back before settling his eyes on the girl again. "I can see you'd rather be left alone though. So I'll be going."

He pushed John's arm from his shoulder, sending Alice a wink before picking up his coat. Arthur and John's eyes stuck to him, sending harsh glares to the seemingly unbothered man.

"Lovely place you got here. I'm new in town, been trying out all the pubs and I have to say, I think The Garrison's the one for me..." He said casually to the boys before turning to Alice with a smile. "I'll see you soon, doll!"

Once the door was swung shut and he was finally gone, the boys gazes immediately averted to Alice. Internally, she was recovering from her moment of panic before the boys had arrived, trying to collect her thoughts and convince herself that the man meant no harm. A flurry of bad memories had hit her like a a tonne but she had to push them away. She couldn't break down in front of the brothers about her fear of men, especially Arthur, as surely that would cost her her new job. Her new job that she needed in order to stop being scared of men.

Perhaps the distress was visible on her face as John quickly rushed over and pulled her into a hug. In the time that he'd been away, he had been completely obsessing over the girl; dreaming of her every night and then spending his spare moments in the day thinking of her.

"She is bloody beautiful." Arthur had agreed whilst they were in London, being able to read his brothers anxious mind when it wandered to such things. "Always was the prettiest the girl in the lanes, even with all those stupid bloody scars."

Now that John had her in his arms again, the anxiety was fading and instead he was concerned, seeing true fear in her eyes when he'd first stepped into The Garrison.

"You alright? He didn't bother you or anything did he?" He asked as they pulled away from the hug.

Her eyes were back to their usual emptiness now as his voice had snapped her into reality and she was determined not to be weak.

"I'm fine, he was no bother." She smiled, brushing off her dress and heading quickly to the bar. "Now Arthur I'll get you that pint, sorry for the wait."

Her sudden mood change sent John's head into a spin, not knowing wether she needed protecting or fearing. Possibly both.

"No need to apologise to me dear. Pour John and yourself one too!" Arthur chuckled, oblivious to the jealous anger coursing through his brother that had just sat down beside him.

"What does she mean he was no bother? She looked like a terrified lamb when I walked in. Has he been here all day? Did she actually like his attention?" He found his thoughts going wild as they had been all too often lately.

Alice slid them their pints before grabbing the keys from behind the bar and heading to the door to lock up.

"I'll count the cash and then join you for that pint." She smiled, earning an impressed chuckle from Arthur.

"I see you're a hard worker, already learnt the routine. I'm sure the customers love you too, matey just then certainly did." He beamed at her. "Don't be afraid to tell them off though, you know you got that Peaky Blinder authority."

"I don't need no Peaky Blinder authority to tell a drunk bastard off." Alice teasingly scoffed with a smile as she opened the till. "Trust me, there's been a few."

Her sass made the men smile, snapping John from his negative thought spiral and back into his doting one.

"Oh yeah. Like who?" John chuckled.

"Some stupid git had the gall to offer me three pounds for a blowjob. I told him to fuck right off and he fucking left straight away!" Alice said with a grin, earning more laughter from the brothers.

"Well I'm sure he'll be back, as will every other cretin, anytime soon! So be prepared, on the big days the blokes can get real drunk, real confident, and they'll offer you a lot more than three pounds I'll tell you that!" Arthur snickered with a slur, unknowing of the uncomfortable effect his words were having on both Alice and John.

She chose not to respond, not knowing what to say and instead changing the subject, perhaps riskily.

"Anyway, you both look like you've stabbed a couple people. None of that blood is yours, right?" She nodded towards their shirts before starting to count the money, quietly muttering numbers whilst she intently listened to their responses.

"Well I don't think none of this is mine but who knows I did bump me noggin a bit." Arthur chuckled. "Wasn't anything too bad now was it John boy? Just some rough and tumble with the Turks, nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about."

Arthur's answer was exactly what she expected from him, it was the younger brother that she was truly curious about.

"And you John? You're being awfully quiet. You sure you're not slowly bleeding out on us?" Alice raised an eyebrow at him before focusing back on the money.

He almost crumbled under her momentary gaze before clearing his throat and sending her an equally confident stare.

"Yeah I've got some cuts, nothing major. Like Arthur said, just some rough and tumble."

Alice didn't reply for a minute, finishing up her counting and proclaiming the final number before closing the till and turning back to John.

"Well I'm glad to hear that." She smiled, finally pouring herself a drink with a relieved sigh. "It's been a long day, wouldn't want an injured Shelby to top off the list."

"Why's the day been so long? You already sick of pouring pints?" John teased as Alice took a gulp from her beer.

"No, nothing like that. In fact I prefer it when it's been heaving, keeps me busy... Today I had almost no one to talk to except for David-"

"What the guy that I just kicked out?" John interrupted her, his jealous irritation finally slipping out and causing a sudden tension in the air that even Arthur picked up on.

Alice was initially confused as to why he cared so much until it too struck her that he was jealous in some way for whatever reason, which made her secretly excited.

"Yep, that's the guy." She answered nonchalantly, taking another sip. "Said I ought to be a movie star cos women don't need to act, we just need to look good. I thought how ridiculous. It's a shame really, alright looking fellow but a huge ego. Started trying to impress me with war achievements and such."

Arthur seemed to sense where things were going and slid his empty glass across the bar whilst his brother silently watched the woman, every word she spoke feeding his testosterone fuelled jealousy.

"I'm gonna leave you two to it. G'night to the pair of ya!" Arthur interrupted Alice with a chuckle, before heading out the door.

"See you in the morning!" Alice called but John didn't even acknowledge his brother's exit, feeling embarrassed by their emotional duel being so visible to him.

"That was rude John. Not even a goodnight to your brother?" She teased, leaning across the bar and resting her head in her hands. "You sure you're okay?"

He eyed her up and down, his lips remaining puckered in the irritated fashion they had been for the the last five minutes, although there was now a smirk developing in the corners.

"You still play mind games, just like you always did." He said, surprising Alice.

"What makes you say that?" She looked up at him with seductive eyes and a cheeky grin.

There were so many things he wanted to say; to rant about David, his creepy gaze and how Alice felt the need to compliment the man purposefully just to make John jealous. To the other creeps that hit on her daily when she could have picked literally any other job. But he chose to stay quiet, downing his drink before standing up from his seat, instantly towering over the girl.

"You like the attention of men like that? Whatever happened to you, has your worth really been stripped down that low?"

Now he was playing her game, trying to regain his upper hand. He was a Shelby after all, nothing was off limits to him.

"Wow, what a nasty thing to say." Alice scoffed, actually slightly offended by that jab although she played it off. "Guess you really are jealous."

"Jealous of what?" He stepped towards her, now also slightly offended. "I'm a fucking Shelby, I've got everything I could ever want!"

The vicious edge to his tongue reminded Alice of just how much he'd changed, just how much she wasn't a kid anymore, like her. Maybe if it was someone else, a different man, she would've been scared, but Alice wasn't afraid of him or his attempt at intimidation, moving so that they were only inches apart.

"You don't have me though, do you?" She grinned, running her eyes up and down his body for a second, earning a frustrated growl before he suddenly gripped her waist and pressed her lips to his.

She was shocked for a second, but quickly warmed into the kiss as she'd been dreaming about doing so since last time. This one was a lot more intense than the one they'd shared before though, both pushing against each other in a game of domination.

John ran one hand through Alice's curly hair and placed the other on her ass, gently groping her as she ran her hands along his chest.

"Mmm bloody hell Alice, your body is fucking amazing." He quietly moaned. "But you already know that don't you?"

In truth, although Alice had always acted as if she were the top dog; bigger and better than anyone else, that defence mechanism had sprung from a true self hatred, harboured deep inside since she were a little girl. His complimentary words actually meant the world to her and she wanted to giggle and go "you really think so?" somehow still retaining some girlhood innocence in amongst her ravaged brain.

Instead of revealing that though, she chose to remain cool, shoving John backwards into the bar and shooting him a glare.

"You make a lot of assumptions John." She scoffed. "I can't tell if you think I'm an injured sheep or the hungry wolf."

"I made two assumptions." He scoffed back, starting to enjoy the game that she was playing. "Both of which I think are fair to make."

Alice finished her drink and then immediately started to pour another one as she spoke.

"They were two completely contradictory statements. Do I have such low self esteem that I enjoy the attention of drunkards? Or do I already believe myself to be 'amazing' as you so put it?"

John took a moment to respond, unsure of his answer. There were so many answers he wanted to give but they were mostly just consisting of more questions. He lit a cigarette while he thought, a comfortable fifteen seconds of silence passing before he finally answered.

"I think that somehow, you're the injured sheep and the hungry wolf... You play these games and act mean to feel powerful and most people fall for it... but deep down you're terrified."

His answer left Alice in shock, never having been outright read so well before. She knew that John was smart, but she didn't know that he was that perceptive.

"You know, I knew you were going to come looking for that letter opener, because even though you're so fucking strange and usually I have no idea what the fuck you're gonna say or do next.. for some things you've always been predictable." He continued, a smug gleam in his eyes.

Alice took a big swig from her drink and then answered with an equally smug gleam.

"You talk like you know me so well. A lot has changed since we were kids. Why don't you take me out and actually get to know me?"

John liked that answer a lot, chuckling and instantly formulated a plan. He pulled his wallet out of his pocket and handed her a note.

"Take the day off tomorrow, go shopping for a nice dress with Ada, here-" he pulled out another note "- tell her to treat herself n all, God knows Freddie ain't doing it. I'll pick you up from hers at seven."

Alice edged her hand over to the money on the counter, slightly surprised by the amount peaking out of John's wallet.

"And take me where?" She questioned.

He chuckled, her defiance - no matter how slight

- always lit a spark in his belly. Every woman he'd ever courted would've say yes with no questions, desperate to please the Shelby. It always bored him and in the end, the woman would wind up heartbroken whilst John would feel nothing.

This girl was completely different, filling him with too many emotions at times and as she said - he hardly even knew her yet.

"I mean we could go anywhere you want. I was thinking some place nice to eat, we can even dance if you'd like."

That brought a grin to her face and she put the notes in her pocket.

"Sounds perfect."