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#apologies for the long tag list
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The emotions you feel, the crying, and the chills you get when listening to Hozier are inevitable
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itsmuffiiee · 3 months
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What are your favorite DCA fics? Some of mine are Solar Lunacy, LDR, and Sleuth Jesters! :D
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OKAY!! so I don’t think I have a favorite? I have fanfics I’m currently excited to see update though!! (Which is.. almost every fic I read but I’ll try to include some I’m ESPECIALLY excited about!!)
Enjoy some silly notes about each Fic Below!! ・・・★
Flaring Rays and Ivory Crescents
By @surrealkunstlerin
- Moon has a silly stupid laugh but let him have it..! he deserves it!
- How y/n spending isn’t giving them anxiety is beyond me- I think you gotta trust the robots to be financially intelligent
- I would just sort of lay in moons arm all day before they both got mad at me for not doing anything 😞
- Self indulgent.. my dream: sun and moon would be helpers that help me live a better life )::
Red sky
By Kettle_fish
- “I want two boyfriends, and I want by boyfriends to be boyfriends”
- 257k my beloved
- I really enjoyed the moments of y/n bonding with sun and moon in the cell ::3c
An Introvert Meets the Devil at the End of the World
By Kassykins
- post apocalyptic time!!
- sun is so traumatized
- Should of listended to y/n smh
- interactions between the bots and y/n … 12/10… the other humans though make me question humanity- I think however that’s is the point to be off put and disgusted by them
- I enjoy moon protecting y/n as their source of life and is trying to get sun not to FUCK IT UP
He’s a little confused but he got the spirit
By @midnight-mourning
- I can’t wait to see sun stare in the mirror and realize “oh god, I like them, oh god, oh no.. THAT THING IS WHAT I FALL FOR? You got to be kidding me!!”
- The Sun is burning out and is stressed )::
- Beloved moon in this fic, I hope he gets everything he wants and more
- Fanart MIGHT be in progress.. I am excited to draw these goobers
There Are Many Benefits (To Rethinking This Career Path)
By @moonliched
- Nessa x Chica was not on my 2024 bingo
- I need to see sun and moon get jealous more often
- Author please, please, let them have a sleep over someway somehow
- “I need to go into the ocean, I need to be in there” - y/n probably
- the little extra bits at the end of each chapter DO make me smile and brighten up my day immensely
If ongoing fics aren’t your style !! And you prefer completed stories I also have: Claw at the Stars by @vivisols !!
- NON HUMAN Y/N BELOVED !!
- more mermaids.. ::3
- I love all their fics sm.. ‹𝟹
> I have so many more fics to share (to ramble about).. so..so many but I’ll leave it here for now!! Thank you for asking!! Please be mindful of tags before reading! ::)
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taydaq · 4 months
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tell me ALL your nsfw roman headcanons i need to know pretty please
Oh man, HERE WE GO... (and most of these are with Dean/Mox in mind),
-"Big Dog"/Shield Roman cries during sex from feeling overwhelmed and over stimulated. *Roman got extra emotional during his last time with Dean before he left the company and even Dean almost stayed because of that. 😭 -Roman LOVES Dean's mouth, especially when he's spilling absolute filth and saying everything he wants to do to Roman in that rough and raspy voice.
And HIS HANDS... I like the idea that Roman gets off from a hand job or being fingered. And prefers when Dean keeps the hand wraps ON. LOL. -Roman likes his hair being pulled and yanked. -"Tribal Chief" Roman wants to be pampered and have every single need met. I'm not the biggest Roman/Sami shipper, but I feel like in this case... Sami would do anything to please his TC when he was in The Bloodline. 💦 -TC Roman will top from the bottom and make sure he's being pleased. Although, when he's with Mox, he'll talk big, but immediately turns into mush and let Mox have his way. -TC Roman also knows what Mox is capable of and wants to be destroyed by him and put in his place. 🥵 I just thought of Roman licking his own blood and then kissing Mox to mix with his (totally not sanitary, but hot) after a sweaty and messy sparring session. Which turns Mox RIGHT ON and leads to sloppy/rough sex. 💦 -Roman likes to dress up in his suits and tease Dean when they're out in public at an event. It excites him to know that suit will soon be ripped off of him. (TC Roman also knows Mox is watching during televised talk shows, etc. and purposely gives signs. He may even flirt with the interviewer because it will make Mox jealous and that he'll be railed afterwards). 🥴🥴
-As much as "Big Dog" Roman likes being man handled, he really enjoys passionate love making. He craves the feelings, the emotions, the LOVE. He's a softie and melts when Dean takes gentle care of him. *Roman needed all the love when he was constantly booed and hated, Dean made sure he'd forget all that during their nights together. 💘💘
-He likes to be called "baby, babydoll, or doll". But he gets flustered when his looks are talked about. He turns totally red when called 'beautiful' or 'gorgeous'. And Dean does that A LOT.
-He likes neck kisses and bites.
-He's loud during sex. (which Dean enjoys, he wants the world to know what he's doing to that man, haha).
-TC Roman DEFINITELY has a praise kink. That man needs to be worshipped.
*I'm gonna tag @imabillyami and @harmshake in case they need some... inspiration. 😘
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Pick a song for each letter of your URL, and then tag that many people! Much thanks to @angelthingy for tagging me <3
Bird, you can fly - Eyemèr Untitled - Knuckle Puck Re-emerging Signs of the Apocalypse - Spanish Love Songs Never Meant - American Football I Was Hiding Under Your Porch Because I Love You - Waterparks Nightmare On Southfield - Action/Adventure Green Squirrel In Pretty Bad Shape - Hot Mulligan Cigarettes & Saints - The Wonder Years Overstepping - Belmont My Life For Hire - A Day To Remember Pints Of Guiness Make You Strong - Against Me! Understanding In A Car Crash - Thursday Thank God It's Friday - Ice Nine Kills Early Sunsets Over Monroeville - My Chemical Romance Right Choice - Can't Swim Paradise Lost, a poem by John Milton - The Used El Niño Considers His Failures - Spanish Love Songs Rationalize - Action/Adventure Sick Of It All - Magnolia Park One Step at a Time - Four Year Strong No Children - The Mountain Goats And Now I'm Nothing - The Wonder Years
Good lord did that take a while to finish... time to start tagging uhhh *counts* twenty-two people now: @sucker-for--anything-acoustic @tradedsymmetry @broke-bruce-wayne @mackie-ds @juliens-bakery @breaking-justin @flashlight-smallknife @cemetery-pigeons @ogbulesky @dysphoria-things @eyemermusic @plainramennoodles @unnervinglyferal @ameliafromafairytale @aiam-maianaise @weirdpinkandmagical @crazyworkswell @kind-wizard @leonidele @thevictorianpirate @mira-kyria @cant-even-spell-my-own-url
Okay I think I tagged like all my mutuals and then some... suffice to say I am sorely regretting my longass username. Anyway these tags are low pressure and open as always, so feel free to join in! (or not, I'm not the cops)
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fiona-fififi · 5 months
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
Tagged by @spotsandsocks. Thank you for the tag!!
How many works do you have on Ao3?
59
What's your total Ao3 word count?
250,243 words
What fandoms do you write for?
Currently only 911. In the past, Supernatural, Shameless, Bones, and BtVS.
Top 5 fics by kudos:
Breaking News
The jury's out, but my choice is you
On the Outside
say (don't) go
Believe in one thing, I won't go away
Do you respond to comments?
Honestly, no. Trying to respond stresses me out. It can take me literally hours to figure out how to respond to a single comment, and then I feel like, if I respond to one, I have to respond to all immediately, and my anxiety can't handle it. So I've mostly stopped responding. Every now and then, I will respond to a friend because I don't stress over those, or if someone makes a weird comment where they seem to have misunderstood something I might respond to try to clear things up.
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
For 911, honestly, I don't think I have any angsty endings. Plenty of angsty fics, but most of my endings are happy or at least hopeful. I guess I would maybe say the one with the angstiest ending is Believe in one thing, I won't go away, but the end is still pretty hopeful.
Outside of 911, the angstiest ending was definitely in a little Supernatural fic I wrote many years ago titled The Things They've Left Behind. It's also one of fics I'm proudest of. But it's a rough one.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Honestly, there are quite a few happy endings to my fics, but I think say (don't) go takes this one. It's a little angsty through the main story, but the epilogue is just pure fluff.
Do you get hate on fics?
Not often, but once or twice. More often than hate for the fic, I get sort of weird hate comments about side characters in the story. Like, I'll have a fic where Taylor Kelly is kind of in the background, but not in any way written hatefully or even negatively, and people will just go off on the character in the comments, which is weird and not a great look. Don't do this, y'all.
I did once get a hate comment accusing me of villainizing Eddie based on the summary alone, I believe. I responded, and they apologized, which I appreciated. But I will never understand people's need to toss around accusations without even reading the actual fic.
Do you write smut?
I have in the past, but not recently. I really have to be in a very specific mood to write smut, and often I just cannot tap into the focus I'd need for it because I generally find writing smut boring. So it takes me forever to actually finish anything even a little bit smutty. I've had a post vow renewal smut fic in the works since the vow renewal aired, and I just can't get it together.
So. Often not my cup of tea as a writer.
Craziest Crossover:
Okay, I don't have this posted on Ao3 (I think it's on ff.net?), but I once wrote a series of Sam Winchester/Temperance Brennan fics. Those were fun times.
Have you ever had a fic stolen?
I don't think so. I had a couple of fanvids stolen back when I vidded for Bones, but never fics, I don't think.
Have you ever had a fic translated?
I think someone asked once and may have done the translation? I can't remember if anything ever came of it, though.
Have you ever co-written a fic before?
I have not. I don't have the focus or discipline to co-write with anyone. I would immediately lose focus and cause everything to go off the rails, and I would never want to do that to someone else.
All time favorite ship?
All time? I don't know. I really want to say buddie, but also, like Mulder/Scully and Sam/Dean. Honestly, I tend to be just very, very attached to my ship of the moment, so answering for all time is tough.
What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Probably this Natalia finds out about Chris fic because I keep accidentally fogetting it exists, which. is hindering progress.
What are your writing strengths?
I honestly don't know. I think maybe emotional scenes or angst?
What are your writing weaknesses?
A lot. Focus is the worst. I just don't really have it, and it makes writing near impossible. I also don't think I'm any good at scene transitions or dialogue sometimes.
Thoughts on dialogue in another language?
I wouldn't personally do it because I don't have enough of any other lanuage to feel comfortable with it. I might use a word here or there if the character uses it regularly and I feel generally comfortable with the context and/or translation. I also don't love when people drop in dialogue or things in other languages and admit to just using google translate because that feels. not great.
I also don't think it should be translated in the middle of the fic. Sometimes, it's okay to not understand every single word of a fic, and people who speak and write in other languages shouldn't have to translate every word for their readers over a couple of lines in another language. Which might be a weird take, but that's where I stand on it, I think.
First fandom you wrote in?
Like, in my little notebooks before the internet was a thing in my house, it was The X-Files when I was like 8-11. That I posted in a fandom I actually interacted with, I think it was BtVS.
Favorite fic you've written?
This one's kind of a toss up. For 911, I think it's probably one of the following:
I got nothing to believe (unless you're choosing me)
say (don't) go
You were bigger than the whole sky
Home
I know I should narrow it down more, but I don't know. That first one is probably recency bias and the fact that parts of it are deeply personal to me. The second is the Eddie wants kids fic, which I worked on for months, so it has a special place in my heart. The third one is kind of a weird little experiment that was just unlike anything I'd ever written before. And the fourth one is a post break-up fic, and I really enjoyed playing with that kind of angst.
So they were all pretty different, and I can't choose.
Tagging (no pressure! and sorry for any double tags!): @messyhairdiaz @shortsighted-owl @elvensorceress @reachingforaspark @wh0re-behavi0r @daffi-990 @eddiebabygirldiaz and anyone else who wants to participate.
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marsdemo · 1 year
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Hi! I'm looking to explore more punk artists who write about disability (of any kind really) and/or chronic illness, would you happen to have any recommendations for that? Thanks!
hi! i didn't have a concrete list, really, so i did a bit of digging and here's a couple albums & blurbs! it's not actually very punk-centric (more experimental than anything) my apologies. i haven't listened to all of these fully, but the stuff that i've heard has been lovely!
grim bitch/sick shit — collander: experimental/electronic bedroom pop. "a peek into a few weeks of low-spoons electronic production, demo tracks demo bodies." alli yates, the singer behind collander, is also "member of Sins Invalid, a performance collective for artists with disabilities, and is a prominent disability rights activist within Oakland’s underground scene" (bandcamp daily)
187bpm_demo — wheelchair sports camp: experimental funk/hip-hop. "We would like to offer this song of rage, anger, and grief to the ongoing fight for liberation. For those on the frontlines of today's uprising and for the generations of movements before that paved the way, taught us how, and who gave their all for us to be here." i found them through kr/p-hop nation's network, whose website is sadly defunct but the founder's twitter (leroy f moore jr) is still up!
sicko — beast nest: experimental/electronic noise. "And when I personally think about liberation, I think about what it means to get to a place where you are able to be present and really live with that presence. I think about what oppression functions as, what abolition is about, what disability justice is about" (bandcamp daily). sharmi basu (of beast nest!) is one of the people behind ratskin records, a label based in oakland, ca dedicated to "decolonial experimental music centered in the Bay Area and beyond". i've heard some of beast nest's stuff before and it is stellar, definitely recommend if ur interested in brown noise.
the runner — boy harsher: coldwave/drone. "Last year, in the midst of the obvious chaos, but additionally with Matthews’ MS diagnosis, Muller started working on moody, cinematic sketches. It was uncertain what these pieces would become other than catharsis — the duo were unable to tour and making “club music” did not feel right." this one i had saved from a rec post i'd seen somewhere on here, but i hadn't had a chance to listen till now. this is the soundtrack to their short horror film of the same name!
split 12 — chronic anxiety / dialer: post-punk noise/harsh electronic punk. "the album is six slices of pure post punk-noise rock wrapped in a silk swaddle of self-assertion and anxiety." this one's actually a vinyl split between 2 bands but i figured it would be a fun add! this one's a joint release between Bunny Cat Records (Great Weights, Love Club, Impressionist) and SRA Records (FOD, Dead Milkmen, HIRS, Psychic Teens) and their noise is so so cool.
https://synthfreq.bandcamp.com/album/vol-1
the enigma of heaven and other daily delusions — heaven pierce her: electronic/experimental breakcore. "An exploration of christianity, mundane divinity and paranoid schizophrenia in the information age." i'm originally familiar with hakita's work via ultrakill, but this album actually means so much to me for a lot of different reasons. shan't get into it here, hope you enjoy it.
the flesh of the world — uboa: dark ambient/harsh noise. "These four songs were done under quarantine and are about bodies, body dysmorphia and the schizophrenic dissolution of the boundary between self and other" ; i love uboa's work and this album is genuinely fantastic.
i'm not 100% sure if these completely qualify, but the following punk bands are extremely vocal about their support for marginalized groups (and discuss mental illness / disability here and there in their work): hirs collective, blkvapor, the muslims, soul glo, pulses., pinkshift, S.B.S.M., and G.L.O.S.S. ^_^ if anybody else has any recommendations, please feel free to add on! this list is by no means exhaustive, it's literally what i found after a couple weeks of sitting on this ask. i would love love love any recs; they would be much appreciated.
all albums linked are through bandcamp! obligatory mention that bandcamp staff are currently unionizing: check out bandcamp united's linktree for a ton of resources to support them, including email templates to the co-founder expressing your support for the union. on bandcamp fridays, the first friday of every month, all proceeds from sales will go directly to artists & bandcamp will not take any fees. <3
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marshmallowgoop · 5 months
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WIP Game
Rules: In a new post, post the names of all the files in your wip folder regardless of how nondescriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet and tell us about it!
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I was tagged by @hexfloog! Thank you!!
This is a game I actually played years ago, so I thought it'd be fun to look back at that and see what I've finished since then?
Things I Have Started and Am Determined to Finish
AMVs
I am standing by your side ❌
I am afraid I was made to be able to fall apart ❌
out of time japanese ❌
Essays
Ship bingo by ahasbands ❌
heishin ranking ❌
three days with heiji hattori ❌
detco blu-rays ✅
Fic
noir zine ✅
GIFs
crying in the club ❌
Other
HD English dubs ❌
Things I Might Maybe Finish (That I Might Not Have Actually Started)
AMVs
I prefer kick drums and red wine ❌
with you heishin ❌
shadows in the city ❌
I’m just a little messed up ✅
ryuketsu the movies ❌
you are someone else ❌
Essays
Forgiveness in Fiction (and the ‘Net) ❌
detco merch ❌
Fic
KLK fairytale AU ❌
GIFs
OP 5 HD ❌
best buds forevah ❌
Other
detective conan dub comparison ❌
Yeahhh.... 3/22 isn't so good, is it? But some current WIPs I'd like to get done in the next few months or so!
jimjam bday
subtitle process
nakamouri
coai mmv
secret summer
heishin scrap
Kazuha ribbon
Anime NYC
The Boy's Return of a Favor
(And this probably doesn't really count, but I've been thinking about making a post about how to buy Detective Conan films officially and attach your own English subtitles? Some of these skills I've briefly touched on already in my HD English dub process post, but I could go into more detail about how to buy from Japan when you don't live there, how proxy sites work/which ones I use, what you might be able to do if you don't want to rip a disc, how subtitles work on VLC Media Player, etc. I just feel a little sad seeing folks buy bootlegs when you absolutely and totally can buy Conan films officially and just attach your own subtitles—and it's really quite easy! (If expensive and time consuming.) I guess I'm mostly wondering if there's any interest at all in that. Because I realize I'm bonkers 😅)
I tag: @astravis, @cartoonsbyandie, @detectivefable, @meitantei-shitpost, @sapphicselkie, @srirachapop, and anyone else who'd like to do this! (But no pressure at all to play, of course!)
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torchickentacos · 1 year
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ok i've been feeling under the weather (chronic, not covid) and i've been binge watching warrior cats infodumps/video essays and.... hhhhhh do I REALLY want to reread half the series to make a post about my leopardstar apologism?? becuse girlie deserved better and if she was written better she'd be everyone's favorite literal wet cat pathetic girlfail girlboss tragic character but nope. got vriska'd but like in a 'shallow without redeeming qualities' kinda way
#like ok let me go down the list of my unorganized opinions about her#<<long tags. also edit i talk about pokemon paul too i guess#this is barely even canon commentary because in canon she was a bitch who died of diabetes. this is me exploring her canon potential#first off. i just like her unique pattern#and i'm a riverclan stan#second. orphan who was raised by the village and adored and doted on#would inevitably lead to her feeling like she had to fulfill those expectations and setting high goals for herself#AND SHE REACHES THEM!!!!! she is motivated and strong and determined#but she's also iirc pretty young as a leader but age in wc is more of a crapshoot than even pokemon which. yikes lol#so. very young leader who has high expectations on her and also high expectations of herself#desperate to prove herself#and so. strong and iirc described as handsome tom comes along and manipulates her into joining his new megaclan#SHE IS YOUNG AND WANTS TO DO WHAT'S BEST#FOR HER CLAN#also tigerstar is like. top manipulator supreme. apologism and all but leopardstar was a victim idc#that turns out to be. you know. bad. tiger is trying to kill her clanmates which she did NOT sign off on#so she has to deal with that SUPER EARLY in her leadership#so we come out of arc 1 with a new leader who's seen more in her first like what. year. than many leaders do in a long time#so after joining tigerclan of COURSE riverclan secludes themselves more#it's a protective measure!!!!!#riverclan is going THROUGH it in series 1#and ngl i barely remember the rest of the series with ehr because they kinda forget she exists#except to have her go crazy and die#which. hm. a choice.#but wc is known for their. choices. of the odd variety.#and for ignoring character potential#i dub this the paul problem (pokemon).#where they will not commit to making a character a true villain OR to redeeming them#and isntead just placing them in 'annoying bitch who is just kinda eh' territory for the msot part#i do like paul do not get me wrong. i could fix him
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white-cat-of-doom · 2 years
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I posted 2,327 times in 2022
827 posts created (36%)
1,500 posts reblogged (64%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@the-cat-at-the-theatre-door
@munku-collar
@white-cat-of-doom
@sillybub
@cassandra-has-moonlit-eyes
I tagged 2,321 of my posts in 2022
#cats the musical - 2,288 posts
#cats musical - 2,287 posts
#cats us tour 6 - 356 posts
#jellylorum - 262 posts
#victoria - 260 posts
#demeter - 253 posts
#bombalurina - 247 posts
#cats rccl cast 12 - 244 posts
#cats uk tour 2022 - 232 posts
#cats international tour 2022 - 230 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#part of me wants to change my avatar to one of these pieces but i cannot bring myself to take away the 2019 rumple i have had for two years
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Today is the day! The Il Sistina production of CATS opens tonight (07 December 2022) in Rome!
Below are some more specific character photos, outside of larger group photos.
Jacopo Pelliccia as Gatto Giò (Bustopher Jones, a separate character in this production).
Photos taken by Gianluca Sarago.
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Gaia Soprano as Cassandra.
See the full post
133 notes - Posted December 7, 2022
#4
Everyone generally knows what the Rumpus Cat looks like in traditional productions, right? A bit silly, with funky hair and red eyes.
Meanwhile in Japan, the modern Rumpus Cat looks like this:
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The hero we never knew we needed.
(Fukuoka 2021, January 2022; Kenshin Mori as Rumpus Cat, Miki Okudaira as Jellylorum, Eiko Kataoka as Rumpleteazer, Yuki Takahashi as Old Deuteronomy, Taijun Kanemoto as Munkustrap, and Yurie Sato as Bombalurina. Almost fully hidden is Haruaki Tamai as Mungojerrie.)
141 notes - Posted February 21, 2022
#3
Rehearsals have started for the production of CATS at Teatro Sistina in Italy, starting 07 December 2022, an officially licensed non-replica from RUG.
The designs are interesting in that they have reference sheets for both the makeup and costume.
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See the full post
149 notes - Posted November 9, 2022
#2
The promotional pictures for the UK/International Tour 2022 have been posted!
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See the full post
181 notes - Posted May 31, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I never uploaded these pictures last year, so I figured now would be a fun time to celebrate Pride Month again. Who better than with my favourite cast of Cats in Vienna?
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See the full post
192 notes - Posted June 1, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
#It has been a good year for me and CATS#I luckily got to see the last cast three times and the current cast (only) once#An interesting breakdown here#I would have thought I created more posts but 36% is much higher than the 3% last year!#Plus I reblogged from myself a fair amount which lessens those numbers compared to making a new post altogether#Jellylorum being the top character tag is actually a bit surprising to me#But good for me for pulling that off#Poor Jenny was in enough posts#I had completely forgotten about that top post but that is fun to see#Aside from myself being in the top 5 (I would not thought I counted towards that) the reblogged blogs the list is not surprising at all#And that longest tag! It did not take long after for me to overhaul (as much as you can overhaul on mobile) my appearance to change my icon#To one of the beautiful art pieces of my OC Freya that Jemi created and I would not have it any other way now#Thank you again Jemi for creating those#You are too kind and immensely talented and that is why you were obviously going to be my most reblogged blog#Apologies to anyone who gets tagged and would rather not for a post like this#I guess the main point to all of this is to say thank you to everyone who interacts with this blog and to anyone who makes content#Enjoy your passions and interests and maybe someone else will love it alongside you but at the very least you are making it for yourself#Let me see if I can overtake my reblogged posts with my created posts next year#I think I am well on my way#I hope I offered everyone some fun posts and up to date information on the musical as the (official) unofficial source for everything CATS#(that last one is more a joke but at this point how much of one is the question?)#Rambling over#Thanks for everything everyone#Who knows maybe I will actually have something important to say next year
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Okay! Finally I have the recent sherb lists (only from Sherbert's stream though- I gotta go check Centross' and the one heyhay mcci one today-)
《▪︎▪︎》
[FROM SHERBERT STREAM "MESSING AROUND IN THE 1.20 SNAPSHOT!"]
-Blood is still faint, but further down their face
- Maniquine (The one with C!Sherbert's fit) is gone from frame
- They open minecaft, light doesn't change
- Among Us are white and red
- Wack Music #1 (A Jack Stauber song started playing)
- Wack Music #2 (Another Jack Stauber song started playing)
- Wack Music #3 (Another Jack Stauber song started playing)
- "It's *my* music, nice." (The only music C!Sherbert listens to is Jack Stauber. Presumably this is why CCC!Sherbert refers to it as "My Music," once again referring to C!Sherbert in first person.)
- Searching up "NETH", really quietly they went, "Netherum?"
- Wack Music #4 (Another Jack Stauber song started playing)
- "I love these songs, they're my songs. I listen to them all the time."
- "Which look most like my converse?" (Refering to C!Sherbert's Yellow/Purple converse as 'my converse')
- "I can make my armor at some point" (Referring to C!Sherbert's armor in 1st person)
- Wack Music #5 (Another Jack Stauber song started playing)
- Wack Music #6 (Another Jack Stauber song started playing)
- Sherbert going "Don't take this as Canon" when trying to remember their wings name. (Implying the rest of this whole bit *is*)
- Wack Music #7 (Another Jack Stauber song started playing)
- "I won't lie, my favorite flower is a blue orchid, but it may change to this."
- Wack Music #8 (Another Jack Stauber song started playing)
- Wack Song #9 (Another Jack Stauber song started playing. This one ran shorter.)
- "Rae is gonna- Rae is gonna ascend." (Talking about the new bookshelves.)
- "Rae is gonna love these. I gotta make him some whenever I- whenever I see him again." (Again, talking about the new bookshelves.)
- "I've never speedrun before." "I've only been to the end once." "I have no idea what I'm doing."
- "It's been a long time since I've had to, I dunno, start over."
- "It's been about a year or so." (Season 2 of Fable went on for about a year before the finale.)
- "I don’t know I’ve never done this before"
- "I guess I killed the dragon that one time but I don’t know."
- "I am birb, I got my little wing ears and everything"
- "Yeah, I'll be used to the thunder, I'm not worried about that."
- "'Funky eyes,' I already have a funky eye, i cant handle more."
- "I am not used to being in a new world, kinda forgot this was a thing."
- "I guess if Momboo’s not here then it won’t rain, huh."
- "Always thunder is a lie. I geuss Momboos not here to do that, so I guess that's fine."
- "We gotta go to the moon again."(Refering to the time they played portal. (Portal!Sherbert))
- "'Turn yourself into a warden,' Uh, that's trauma."
- "I guess we're going to the moon again. I wasn't on the moon for a very long time last time, but i definitely was up there." (Portal!Sherbert)
- Sherbert seems a tad stressed (While trying to get to the moon.)
- "Last time I was here I was just kinda getting rid of a robot." (Portal!Sherbert)
- "Well I guess the dude I left up here is doing pretty good for himself." (Portal!Sherbert)
- "Honestly not the weirdest thing that has happened to me. I wont lie, I've had way weirder things happen to me. Objectively. "
- "Giant warden? But this is just going to give me trauma."
- "I got to go to the moon again." (Portal!Sherbert)
- Goes to sleep at the end, same way they end lore.
《▪︎▪︎》
[FROM SHERBERT STREAM "THIS GAME MIGHT MAKE ME CRY"]
- Blood a little further down their face
- Blood around their eye a little darker
- Scar (C!Sherbert's scar) is back
- When asked what crimes they commited, they listed some thing that C!Sherbert did.
- "Jerold where are you? I thought you left me too..." (..so many things. So many things about that sentence.)
- "At least this box is grey, i think I would be a lot worse if I was in another one of the black boxes." "'No obby.' Yeah, exactly."
- "How long is my sentence I’m not necessarily saying I want to get out."
- "I've spent time in boxes before."
- "Might rip up my clothes a little, but it's okay."
- "At least I have something to do in prison this time."
- "You know. This isn't - This isn't to far off from my communicatior.."
- "'Are things talking to right now?' I mean, sure, yeah. I'm in a prison, not sure how else you would be talking to me."
- "'Charles did it,' Yeah, probably."
- They sound nervous. Very akin to how C!Sherbert sounded when they got put in the prison
- Light Blue and Green/Lime Among us.
- "You don’t have to spend your money on games, I’m okay."
- "I've done this before."
- "Do I get out ever?"
- "Atleast not in the ones I've been in, isn't there supposed to be an outside area?"
- "I'd like to get out I probably have some people I'd like to see, maybe… Maybe…"
-"'You remember the prison?' Yeah I remember a lot of things."
-"I'm pretty sure I have people waiting for me on the outside."
-"'Time seems to go slower when in prison,' Yeah. Something like that."
-"Is that an eye? Ugh….Illuminati confirmed."
- "I'm sure they don't want my eye."
- "'What's you eye doing?' Bleeding like always."
- "You know, my communicatior didn't have games."
- "Me and a significant amount of objects that can speak-"
- "I've done things in the past, but I'm pretty sure in the past - 8 days, not the ones in here, i havent done anything that warrents prison." (The finale was 8 days ago.)
- "'Another almost happy ending.' Yeah."
- When Sherb closes the game, they sorta do their thing they do at the end of lore. (You know what I'm talking about-)
《▪︎▪︎》
[FROM SHERBERT STREAM "ADVENTURE FOR THE LIL CRAB GUY"]
- Blood seems a tad darker
- Orchids have moved (??)
- Scar (C!Sherbert's) is still there
- Among Us are Red and Orange (Differing from the last time they were on Mer - Which was Orange and Green.)
- They opened minecaft and the light changed to lime green
- "'What happened to the purple and yellow Among uss?' These are the Among Us? This is what they've always been."
- Krit finds an emerald with Quixian written on it, Translates to 'MAYBE THIS ONE?' (Ψ⦚⍔⏚⏅ ṽ⌗⌘⏄ ⍕⍔⌮ - FILTH ZAOP ULV - YBEMA STHI NEO - MAYBE THIS ONE) Presumably Quixis attempting to figure out where Sherbert went after they went through the portal. (Though, if they are in charge of the Rave-Room, presumably they do know where the portals go, and would know that they didn't go through the one to Mer after tye Fable one went out.)
- Centross walks into their room, They have a little crab-claw thingy. They click it. A lot, and Sherb goes 'It's like me, Ahhh-' (Acknowledging things IRL while also in character.)
- "'Little Itty Bitty Bell,'" Yeah, for the Bits!" (Acknowledging things IRL things in character.)
- Wack Music #1 (Not the usual ambient Mer music. At least, I don't think.)
- They close minecaft, Lights change back to yellow.
《▪︎▪︎》
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beachboysnatural · 4 months
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one in the morning i am listening to slipping through my fingers on repeat and missing my mom really badly while also feeling upset with her and i don't think this combination will ever really leave me
#i havent seen my family in months and her dad just died and now she probably has covid too#and i know she misses me and i miss her so badly but i also miss the idea of having a mom you can tell everything too#like i will never have that relationship with her!! and that hurts!!#we've both hurt each other and i've done things i'm sorry for that i haven't apologized for#but i was a fifteen year old having a mental breakdown. she was the parent#i know she didn't know how to help me and no one did and i know blaming her for that is unfair#but i have never ever gotten anything like an apology for her not even trying until the cracks were so wide they showed#she's never said 'hey sorry you had a two year long depressive episode that must have really sucked' or anything like it#and she never will because she does not take accountability or apologize for things.#but she makes jokes about how moody i was or how i never wanted to talk to her during that time and it's like.#weren't you there?? didn't you see?? didn't you know?? did you even try to understand??#i'm sorry i was a moody 15 year old i was also so completely burnt out that all my energy went towards finding any joy i could#need to go back to therapy over the summer because i literally have SO much to discuss#my mom. my grandpa. adhd. new special interests. my cello teacher. the Creep. my actual life now. the list goes on#whatever this has become a tag ramble. maybe the way to get my mom to apologize is to watch ladybird with her#(if i did that i think one of us would burst into flames)#persannal
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Busted
Summary: Logan x Fe!Reader -> Rogue has a date, and you and Logan decide to follow. You're just making sure she's safe. But sometimes it's in moments like that, that you find out your 'husband' is the love of your life.
Disclaimer: Mostly chaos, fluffiness, fake dating, mentions of being a soldier, the claws come out briefly, a nosy book club and its members. Some swearing, steam and a little angst. I wrote this over two days so apologies if it becomes spotty. This is a long one. Not Proof Read.
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Rogue had a date. 
Both yourself, Logan and…practically most of the teachers in the school knew about Rogue having a date. 
Yet, despite knowing all of this. And somewhat knowing the guy’s intentions…Logan had decided to follow them. 
And you had found yourself tagging along. 
“And what did you think you were gonna do when they figured out you were following them?” You asked him. “At least this way it just looks like we decided to pick up dinner in town.”
“At the same restaurant?”
“You ask that as if this wasn’t your idea.”
“Oh please,” Logan practically rolled his eyes at you. “I saw what you were actually looking at early. You were caseing the place.”
“I was looking at their opening times.” You countered, if a little harshly. 
“You were casing the joint and you know it. If I wasn’t coming down here, you would have already come.”
You gave a short, heavy sigh. “Fine. I wanted to make sure this wasn’t some kind of set up. I just want her to be safe and have fun.”
“And I want to make sure the guy isn’t a creep.” Logan finalised before opening up the door for you allowing you to step inside. 
“Hello, madam! Ah, good sir! Table for two?” The waiter looked at his list. 
Logan looked and felt a little out of place. He was hoping you could both enter quietly, not have an announcement made to the entire restaurant. 
“Uh, yea. Yes, please.”
The waiter smiled, picking up two menus. “Please, this way.”
“Logan.”
Logan followed your line of sight to see where Rogue and her date were sitting, smiling and laughing with one another as they looked over the menus. 
“Uh, actually, bub?”
The waiter turned around. “Yes, sir?”
“If you don’t mind we’d like to sit…” Logan looked around and found an empty table. “There.”
You saw where he pointed and realised why. Too far back into the restaurant, you’d pass right by the happy couple. 
Sitting where Logan was currently looking, gave you direct sight of the happy couple and with a chance, more coverage from the rest of the guests. 
“There?” The waiter asked, a little offended. “Oh, no, Sir. Please. We have a lovely booth for a couple such as yourself back here. Romantic candle light, a lot more privacy, no?”
You felt yourself blush at what the waiter was trying to subtly say. 
And it seemed that Logan caught on, too. And looked at you, unsure of what to do. 
You gave a small laugh and moved closer to Logan, “I’m sure, but you see, the thing is, my…”
You hesitated a little on your next words. “Husband.”
Christ, you felt that lie weigh on your chest. 
“He was in the army. Not a big fan of not being able to see the door. Just a habit, I suppose.”
The waiter gave a softer smile. “Ah, no worries.” 
Swiftly, he began leading you both towards the table Logan had pointed out. “My sister is serving overseas right now. We are all very proud. Thank you for your service, Sir.”
Logan gave an awkward smile and thanked the waiter before you both sat down with your menus. 
“I thought we were busted then,” Logan shifted in his seat. 
“So did I,” you replied. “So long as they don’t draw any-”
“So, what will it be?” 
Both yourself and Logan jumped at the waiter's sudden reappearance. However, he didn’t seem to notice as he began rattling off the specials. And then the wines. And then came the crash. 
Everyone’s heads turned inside the restaurant. 
Including Rogue’s. 
Quickly, you scooted your chair around so the waiter blocked you from view. By the time he turned back around, muttering about incompetencies about the newer staff members, he excused himself and headed in the direction of the crash. 
You saw Rogue settle her back to talking with her date and you breathed again, pulling your chair back to its original position. 
The waiter returned. 
“So, what will you be having?”
This time he blocked your view from Rogue’s table, giving Logan a clearer view of her date. You could see something flare up in Logan. 
“Uh, we’re gonna need another minute.” You said hurriedly, willing the waiter to walk away. 
And he did. 
For a moment. 
“Logan.”
He turned back to you. “What?”
“Have you decided yet?” The waiter was back. 
Logan took your menu from you and placed it with his before handing it over to the waiter, who seemed shocked for a moment since it took him just as long to realise what Logan was doing. 
“Two cheeseburgers, a side of fries and two sodas. Please.”
The waiter seemed to force his smile a little. “Of course, sir. Anything else?”
“No, thank you.” You replied and the waiter bowed his head before walking away.
For a split second as you looked at Logan, you felt a comfort in your gut. And apparently the look was still clear on your face when he looked back at you. 
“What?”
You shook your head, snapping yourself out of it. “Nothing, just…well, the last time a guy ordered my food for me he ordered me a salad, with a side of vinegar and sparkling water.”
Logan raised an eyebrow, slightly confused. “Is that what you wanted?”
“Fuck no.” You answered honestly. You didn’t want it then, and you sure as hell didn’t want it now. 
Especially the sparkling water. 
Logan looked at you for a moment in a silence you hadn’t known from him before. Then he turned back to watch Rogue’s date. 
And there was that look again. 
“Logan. You can’t kill him from here.”
“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to.”
You nodded. “I know that. And so does everyone else in this restaurant. At least now I know why Scott doesn’t send you undercover.”
Logan turned back to you. 
“You might be the ‘mysterious, silent’ type but if someone took one look at your face, they’d find their answers.”
“Are you saying I’m easy to read?”
Someone came and placed your drinks down on the table. You shrugged. 
“To the people who know you, yes.”
“Okay, then. Fine.” Logan turned his full attention onto you. “What am I thinking?”
“That I’m wrong. And that you wished you had the powers of invisibility so you could be closer to the table without being seen and mess with her date whilst he can’t see you.”
Logan remained still for a second before shifting in his seat. “Okay, fine. Maybe I am easy to read.”
You smiled and took a sip of your soda. “See.”
For the next twenty five minutes, things ran smoother than expected. You both enjoyed your meals, yourself and Logan talked a little however spent most of your time watching Rogue and her date enjoy their time. 
“What would you do?” 
Logan hummed a questioned response. 
“If you took someone out on a date? What would you do?”
Logan scrunched up his paper napkin and placed it beside his plate. “Why do you want to know?”
You shrugged, looking away from Rogue’s date. “Curiosity? I’ve had that many crappy dates in my time, maybe you can rescue my last sliver of hope.”
Logan felt a smile on his face for a moment, hearing your plea for hope. 
“Oh, come on. They’re talking. If we look at them any longer they might sense someone staring.”
Logan sighed. “Fine.”
“So, what would you do?”
Logan shrugged. “I don’t know. Go for a drink, maybe some food. Honestly, it’s been a while since I’ve dated.”
“Seriously?”
Logan nodded. “Seriously. What about you?”
You thought about it for a moment. “Well, the last date I went on the guy ordered my food for me.”
“Sparkling water guy?” Logan asked. 
You nodded. “One in the same. He spent two hours talking about his businesses, and didn't notice I hadn’t touched my food. Or my drink, for that matter. Then at the end, said that if we ever got married, I wouldn’t have to worry about anything other than what I was going to make him for his dinner each night.”
“Fucking asshole. Why did you stay?”
You decided to answer honestly. “Didn’t have anything else to do. And my friends had been on my case about my dating life. They were all either married or getting married or starting a family, and when they said they knew this “really great guy, you’ll just adore him” I decided to give it a shot.”
“What did they do when they found out he was an asshole?”
“Couple apologised, others asked me to give him a second chance. They haven’t tried setting me up with anyone since.”
Logan watched you for a moment as you pulled your soda to your lips. He wanted to punch the Sparkling Water Guy. He didn’t realise how lucky he was to be on a date with someone like you. And, in all honesty, he wasn’t too happy with your friends either. 
“You deserve better.”
Your eyes widened and for a moment Logan thought he had fucked up, saying that to you out loud. 
“Logan. Logan, quick. Shit.”
Then he noticed where you were looking. Rogue was standing up, as was her date. 
“Shit.”
You looked around you, trying to find the best place to hide yourself. Only Logan found a solution. 
From under the table, he grabbed the bottom of your chair and pulled you closer towards him. 
“Just keep looking at me, hopefully we’ll just blur in with the rest of the crowd.”
And you did. You kept your eyes on Logan. 
In his peripheral vision, he saw Rogue slipping her coat on with her date’s help, who just so happened to rake his eyes up and down her body from the back whilst she wasn’t looking. 
Then he felt your hand on his. 
“Logan,” you whispered to him, getting his attention. 
With your hand on his, you were covering the tips of his claws that started peeking out from between his knuckles. 
“He’s just helping her put her coat on.”
Logan felt the tips of his claws retract, however three small holes were left in the cloth on the table beside his plate. 
“Sorry.”
You just smiled. “It’s okay.”
Then the waiter came back. “Ah, so lovely to see a couple so in love.”
You felt your cheeks go red and hid your face against Logan’s shoulder as he curled his arm around your back and smiled at the waiter. “Can we have the check?”
The waiter nodded. “Of course, just one moment.”
Within seconds, the waiter was back just as Rogue and her date walked out of the door. 
“Have a lovely evening!” The waiter called out to both of you as Logan took your hand and headed for the door. 
Rogue and her date were already half way down the street. 
“Where are they going?”
“Maybe he’s walking her to the cab station?” You offered. 
Logan, with his eyes still fixed on the dates, nodded his head in the opposite direction. “Taxis’ that way.”
Looking back at you, you both made a simultaneous decision and were back to following them. 
“Where the hell could they be going?”
“Maybe they’re just going for a walk. It is still early and they looked like they were having fun. Some couples like to take a walk together after a date.”
“They’re not a couple yet. And this is their first date.” 
You caught up beside Logan and pulled him to a slower pace so neither of you looked like frantic maniacs going down Main Street. 
“If we get any closer, they’re gonna see us.”
“You’re right.”
Yourself and Logan tailed them down the street and around the park before deciding to head back home. “If they’re coming round on the top of the street, they’re gonna see your car.”
Logan looked around him before taking hold of your hand and nearly pulling your arm out of its socket. “This way.”
“Logan, slow down.” You told him. “We aren’t all ten feet tall.”
Thankfully, he did slow down, however didn’t let go of your hand. 
“Do you think we did the right thing? Following them?”
You nodded. “I was questioning it at first but…at least this way we know the guy actually meant what he said when he asked her out. Oh, shit
“What?”
You just managed to push Logan into the doorway of a closed bookstore, pushing his back against the glass. 
“What are you doing?”
“Uhhh,” you panicked. “Nothing. Just a…puddle. Big puddle.”
“It hasn’t rained in three days. What are you-”
Logan stopped when he saw what you had seen. Rogue’s date was about to lean in to kiss her. 
You pushed him back, trying your best to keep him pinned to the wall. “Okay, I get we tailed them most of the night but we have to give them some privacy.”
“Did he even ask?”
“I don’t know, but just keep your voice down. The car is three spaces away. Hopefully they’ll be distracted long enough to-”
You peered back round the corner. “Oh, thank god.”
“What? What’s going on? Has hell opened up and sucked him in?”
You looked back at Logan, a little less than amused. “They’re going into the ice cream shop. Come on, before they see us.”
However, just as you both stepped out of the doorway, you found your path blocked by an elderly woman and her dog. 
She chuckled to herself. “Don’t mind me kids, just taking Frankie on a walk. And don’t worry, honey. I remember when I first met my Harry. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other.”
You let out a nervous laugh as Logan looked like he was about to burst from embarrassment as he ran a hand through his hair, his shirt coming untucked and showing off a small hint of his torso. 
Mrs Keller watched where your eyes landed and gave you a knowing albeit loving smirk as she watched you move closer to Logan, tugging his shirt down a little and pressing close into his side. 
“We should get going. It was nice seeing you Mrs Keller.”
Mrs Keller waved you both off towards Logan’s car. “I’ll see you for next week's book club?”
You nodded. “I’ll be there.”
“Feel free to bring your husband along,” she called back. “It’ll drive Little Miss Prissy up the wall that you’ve been keeping that Handsome Fella a secret.”
You laughed nervously once again, as Logan gave you a slight smirk despite his initial embarrassment at what the old lady thought you were both doing.  
“Good night, Mrs Keller.” You called out before Logan repeated it. 
She waved you both goodbye before continuing down the street with Frankie walking by her side. 
Closing the passenger door, you covered your face with your hands already feeling Logan’s eyes and teasing smile on you. 
“She was nice.”
“Shut up and drive.”
Logan chuckled, placing his key into the ignition and pulling out of his spot, his hand behind your headrest as he did so when looking over his shoulder. 
Barely five minutes into the drive, Logan started asking you questions. 
“You’re a part of a book club?”
“We all meet every fortnight and talk about books.���
“And Mrs Keller…?”
You sighed. 
“Is one of the founding members. I met her at the library one day when taking some books back. She was at the desk asking if they had the newest Danielle Steel. They didn’t, but I had seen it in the shop window in a bookstore on the other side of town. We walked together and she invited me to join.”
“How was the book?” Logan asked. 
“I cried.” You answered honestly. “First book I actually cried at.”
Logan let out a small laugh and you hit his arm whilst trying to hold in one of your own. “Don’t laugh.”
“I-I’m not laughing. Okay, maybe I am. I mean, it is funny. Is this where you’ve been disappearing every other Saturday?”
You nodded. “Pretty much. They’re a fun group. Well, most of them are.”
“Let me guess?” Logan asked. “Little Miss Prissy?”
You groaned. “She lives two doors down from Eva. Eva can be nice, but Prissy? God, she’s a nightmare. Every time it’s her turn to talk, she somehow manages to turn it back to her and her “ever doting husband” and their “precious baby niece and nephew” and “oh, look at how cute he is with them.” You know, we read American Psycho once. She still managed to turn it back to her husband.”
“I wouldn’t mind,” you continued. “If she wanted to know about anyone else’s love life. Like…” you sighed, thinking of an example. “Mrs Keller? Her and Harry have been together since they were seventeen. They met when they were twelve, lived across the street from each other their entire lives. Mrs Keller had been stood up for one of the local dances by Harry’s friend. So, the minute he found out, he ran over to her house, still covered in motor oil and asked her to the dance. Mrs Keller deserves to write her own romance book for everything that her and Harry have done together. But can she get a word in edgewise? Nope.”
“Sounds like a love for the ages.” Logan said with a soft smile on his lips, looking at you before turning his gaze back to the road in front of him. “And by the sounds of it, Mrs Keller is going to give her something else to talk about.”
You covered your face again. “Oh, god.”
“Hey, come on, it can’t be that bad.”
“How do I tell Mrs Keller I’m not married? She’s gonna think that I’m-”
“What if you didn’t?” 
You turned and looked at Logan. “What?”
“What if you didn’t? Tell them you’re not married? I mean, it’s not like they’re gonna meet me.” Logan explained. “Just…keep up with the lie.”
“And what do I do when they ask me questions?”
Logan shrugged. “Just…bend the truth.”
“Okay,” you sat up in your seat, deciding to test him. “How did we meet?”
“At work. We’re both teachers.”
“When was our first date?”
Logan thought about it. “Six months after we met. We decided to stay up late and ate leftover Chinese food.”
You furrowed your brows. How the hell did he manage to answer these so quickly? Sure, most of it was true. You were both teachers, and the first night you spent alone in the same room together was eating the leftovers in the fridge. Of course, what wasn’t being said was that you both actually met when Logan nearly bulldozed you when he ran into the Professor’s office just after he’d woken up in Jean’s lab. Or how neither of you had properly spoken to one another until that night six months later. 
Or how afterwards, it took a long time for you to make a genuine friendship with him that wasn’t just talking about the team or what the students had to learn in that semester. 
“And then what?” You asked him. “We kissed and lived happily ever after?”
Logan shrugged. “Sure, why not?”
You groaned again. “I hate lying to Mrs Keller.”
“You just lied to her like ten minutes ago. We both did.”
Eventually, Logan pulled up outside of the school and left the car back where he had found it. 
“Like we never left.”
You smiled. “Come on, before she gets back and figures out what we’ve been doing.”
Walking through the school ground and up the front steps, both you and Logan chatted away, laughing a little here and there about anecdotes you were telling him. 
Then you were alone in the middle of the empty hallway, cast in darkness and hints of moonlight. 
“We should get to bed before they get back.”
“I think I might stay up and wait for her to get back. Make sure he didn’t do anything he shouldn’t have done.”
You stepped a little closer to him. “Be nice, Logan.”
“I’m always nice.”
You just raised an eyebrow at him. 
“Okay, fine.” Logan sighed a laugh. “I’ll be nice.”
“Thank you. Tell me how it goes?”
Logan nodded. “Course.”
However, as you both stood together in the hallway, soaking in the vision of the other, you both heard footsteps. 
“Shit.”
Logan looked around. “Here.”
Taking your hand, Logan pulled you into the small space besides the bookshelf and the window. 
Being pressed between the wall and him, you felt his scent and body heat swirl around you and mix with your own. Your own heartbeat was drumming so loud in your eardrums you could hardly hear what Rogue was saying when she was talking to her date. 
From above you, Logan leaned down, his eyes roaming across your face, whilst you found your own gaze doing the same. 
Your heartbeat seemed to drum harder and faster against your chest, your lungs trying to find an even pace to breathe at. 
But you weren’t the only one struggling with that. 
Because Logan’s breathing had become laboured as he looked at you, wanting the space between you both to be further so he could think clearer and not do something you both could regret, but at the same time, for you to be closer to him so he could cross that line. 
You swallowed thickly, trying your best to keep your gaze from his lips. 
You were failing. 
“Logan…”
“Y/n…”
The hand you had pressed against his chest slid up his chest before you took a wad of the loose fabric by his collar in your hands, holding him closer, begging for that line to be crossed. Just as you did so, his own hand pushed the hair from beside your face, his hand gripping onto the space between your neck and your shoulder. Maybe if he forced himself, he wouldn’t move his hand and he wouldn’t cross that line. 
“Alright, where are you two?”
You and Logan stilled. “Maybe if we’re quiet…”
Rogue started walking around. “You wouldn’t have gone to bed yet. Where are you? Oh, come on. I saw you both in the restaurant.”
You and Logan sighed and he closed his eyes, leaning a little further into you. You didn’t want him to leave. 
“Busted.”
Slowly, you and Logan came out from your hiding spot and Rogue spun around her heels. “There you both are.”
“Look, before you yell, you need to know something.”
Rogue crossed her arms, waiting. 
“It was Y/n’s idea.”
“Logan.”
But rather than yell, Rogue laughed a little. “Why does something tell me that’s a lie?”
Logan shrugged. “It might be part of a lie.”
You gave a sigh. He was hopeless. 
“We just wanted to make sure you were safe. And, if you want to know, we’ve already learnt our lesson.”
“Really?”
Logan nodded in agreement with you. “Just take our word for it.”
“So, how did your date go?”
Rogue smiled. “If you must know, we’re going out again next Saturday. He’s going to take me to the movies and then we’re gonna go bowling.”
“That sounds like fun.”
“It will be,” Rogue said. “So long as you two promise to not follow us this time?”
You crossed a sign over your heart. “I swear.”
Rogue waited for Logan to do the same, and only when you nudged him did he do so. “But I’m dropping you off.”
“Just agree,” you told Rogue. “It’ll be easier on all of us.”
Rogue agreed. “Fine. You can drop me off.”
Not long after that, both yourself and Logan went to bed whilst Rogue walked towards the kitchen to grab a bottle of water before doing the same. 
“Are we being overprotective?”
“She’s just a kid, Y/n. We’re allowed to be.”
Logan walked you to your door, both of you calling goodnight to each other. However, you didn’t fall asleep. 
At least for the first couple of hours. 
Mrs Keller thought you were married. 
Married to the same man you were friends with.
The same friend you had almost kissed. 
The same friend who had almost kissed you. 
By the time you woke up the next morning, you seemed to be the only one awake. It was no surprise though, considering you were still three hours off the clock having a one at the beginning of it. 
“Morning.”
You jumped a little when you heard a voice before you opened your eyes to confirm it was Rogue’s voice who had spoken to you. 
“What are you doing up? It’s 7 am. And a Sunday.”
Rogue gave a smile. “Could ask you the same thing.” Rogue told you. “Figured you’d be wrapped in Logan’s arms right now.”
Your back was to her as you opened up one of the doors to the fridge, however became completely still and forgot why you’d opened the damn thing in the first place. 
“What?”
Turning around, you saw Rogue and her smirk, sip at her coffee. 
“I saw you and Logan last night.”
Beside the bookcase? 
“At the restaurant?” Rogue was confused by the more than panicked look on your face. She had said she saw you both, when she got home last night, didn’t she. “You and Logan were sat at the table by the window?”
“Oh…” You felt your heart leave the vice you’d just locked it in. “Oh, yeah.”
Rogue smiled again. “Looked pretty cosy if you ask me.”
“Good job no one’s asking you.”
Milk. That’s why you opened the fridge. 
Taking the carton out, you closed it behind you and reached for a bowl and some cereal. 
“All snuggled up together, his arm around you. I was pretty sure he would have kissed you if the waiter didn’t interrupt. Though, if he didn’t, maybe you would have done more than kiss at that table.”
“Rogue!”
She laughed. “What? Oh, come on. I’ve seen the way you look at each other. Seen the way he looks at you.”
She mumbled that last sentence into her coffee cup leaving you questioned just exactly what she meant by it. 
“It’s too early in the morning for this,” you grumbled to yourself, replacing the cereal box in the cabinet. 
“You could always go back to bed.” Rogue offered. “Or go and see if Logan wants some company.”
You turned around a slightly shocked, slightly disgusted look on your face. “Oh my god.”
“I’m kidding.” Rogue laughed out. “Kinda.”
“When did you grow up?” You asked out loud, coming to the daily realisation that Rogue wasn’t the little kid you had first met when she arrived at the school but was, in fact, very quickly on her way to becoming a full grown woman. After all, she had started taking on a small time tutoring job and she was still a couple months away from graduation. 
The rest of the day went smoothly. Well…as smooth as it could go when you were having a constant internal flashback to the night before. Mrs Keller and what she thought you and Logan were doing, it almost happening beside the bookcase, and then you walked in on him in his bathroom. 
He had said it was safe for you to come inside, and you had happened to see him shirtless a couple of times. Though never in sync with a time when at least two people on the planet thought you were married, another one was trying to convince you she saw, at the very least, something similar to what the others had and the two minutes spent beside the bookcase which you had thought about over and over. 
“Hank is asking if you want corn or peas.” You told Logan as you walked inside, trying your best not to yell or scream out loud and retreat away. 
“Either is fine. You okay?”
You snapped your eyes back to Logan’s face. “Hm? Oh, yeah. Fine. Have you talked to Rogue?”
“Not today,” he replied. “Why? Should I have done?”
You couldn’t help but shudder. “No. That kid is scary.”
You heard Logan laugh as you closed the door a little as you headed back out. 
“Hey, wait.”
You opened the door again, holding onto the frame for dear life. “Yeah?”
“About last night…”
“What about last night?” You tried your best to remain as casual as possible, though it didn’t help when you remembered Logan was practically a walking lie detector. 
He could hear your heartbeat. 
And it was only getting faster. 
You told yourself to calm down. 
It was only a question. 
A big question. 
That he hadn’t finished. 
Was he going to tell you to forget about it? Was he going to pretend it didn’t happen? Did it happen? Had you made the entire thing up? Was the line that you thought had blurred for a second been completely in bold this entire time and hadn’t shifted?
“Thanks…for coming with me…I know you would have gone anyway. But, I’m glad you didn’t try to stop me.”
You smirked a little. “Logan, you’re made of metal. The only practical way I could have is if I owned an industrial magnet.”
Logan chuckled a little. “Still. I’m glad you came. It’s nice to know the kid’s not alone, you know?”
You nodded. “I know. Anyway, I should probably…”
“Yeah, yeah. I, uh, I’ll meet you down there.”
You nodded, letting your eyes take a mental picture of Logan before you shut the door again and headed downstairs and back into the kitchen. 
“He said either.”
Hank nodded and turned back to the stove. 
“You were up there for a while,” Rogue appeared by your side. “And you look a little flushed.”
You turned your head to look at her and glared. “I do not.”
“You do look a little red in the cheeks, Y/n.” Hank added from where he was standing, busying himself by the stove. 
“Maybe I’m coming down with something.” You pressed your hands to your cheeks to hide them. 
Rogue stood in front of you and pressed the back of her hand to your head. “You don’t feel hot, maybe- Oh, hey Logan!”
Rogue broke out into a wide grin.
Logan was a little shocked by Rogue’s enthusiasm. “Hey, kid.”
“Come here, does Y/n feel hot to you? She’s looking a little flushed.”
“Rogue.” You warned under your breath. But she just smiled and pulled Logan over where her hand was replaced by Logan’s. 
And there it was again. 
That same…difference. 
Just like when you stood in front of him when you both got back, before you hid beside the bookcase. 
“N-no. She feels…she feels okay.”
Rogue looked back at Hank who was trying his best to hide his smile. “Why, Logan, you’re looking a little flushed yourself.”
Logan quickly stepped back, as did you. Only, you fell into the counter and gripped onto it for dear life. 
You looked down at the floor. 
“Maybe you’re coming down with something, too. I hope it’s not catching.”
Logan shook his head. “I can’t get sick.”
Hank hummed. “Must be something else then.”
“Must be.” Logan’s voice was quiet as he looked at you and found you looking back. 
Though you couldn’t look for too long, feeling your cheeks heat up again. 
“I better-”
“Yeah, I’m gonna-”
Both yourself and Logan headed in opposite directions. Yourself out of the kitchen the way you came in, and Logan out through the back door and into the gardens. 
Eventually, you made it to your room and locked your door before moving over to the mirror. You did look flushed. Even more so when your brain projected the feeling of Logan’s hands on you from the night before, as well as the look on his face from thirty seconds ago. 
By the time dinner rolled around, yourself and Logan tried to keep your distance until you both suddenly found yourself seated beside each other, taking one look at each other and then taking a large gulp of your drink. 
Your main suspect for the forced seating arrangement was Rogue. She had been the one to lay out the cards. Three days previous, you were sure you had been sat beside her and Storm. 
And when you looked over to her and found her smiling in your direction, you had your confirmed culprit. 
For most of the night, you were kept distracted by the stories being told by everyone as you all caught up with one another from the past couple of months or so. 
It was a few days until things felt normal between you and Logan. At least to the extent where you didn’t feel yourself visibly flush at the sight of him. 
And everything seemed normal. 
Until Saturday. 
You had already left - Logan being the only one to know where you actually were heading off to. 
“Okay, but Logan, you’re not allowed to get out of the car.” Rogue told him. “You’re just dropping me off. And you’re not allowed to come into the movie theatre, either.”
“What if I want to see a movie?”
“Not tonight, you’re not.” Rogue told him. “I like this guy, okay. And I think having The Wolverine sat behind us both isn’t going to make things easier.”
Logan sighed. “Okay, fine. I won’t come into the movie theatre.”
“Promise?” 
Logan nodded, and crossed his heart. “Promise.”
“And you can’t send Y/n in, either.”
“Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t. She’s busy.”
“Let me guess, on a date at the movie theatre?”
Logan held back his smirk. “No, smartass. She’s at a book club. But you can’t tell the others. She doesn’t want them to know.”
“Y/n’s part of a book club?”
Logan nodded and stifled a laugh as he flicked on his indicator and turned down a side street. “Yeah, it shocked me too.”
“You wouldn’t happen to be the mysterious husband they’re all talking about?”
As a red light came on, Logan slammed on his breaks a little too hard. “What? How would you know about-”
“Y/n took me to the library. There were a load of women looking at her. She was outside but when I asked her about it she said it was nothing. But I definitely heard them talking about her being married.”
Logan looked back to the road. 
“Logan?”
“Yeah.”
“It's green.”
A car behind him honked and Logan quickly got moving, all the while feeling Rogue’s eyes on him. 
“Oh, my god.” Rogue smiled and turned back to the road in disbelief. 
“What?” 
Logan was beginning to feel a little panicked. Though he didn’t quite know why. 
“You are him.” Rogue stated. “Oh, my god. Is this what you meant by ‘learning your lesson’? Did something finally happen?”
Logan was confused. “Finally? What do you mean finally?”
“I mean finally.” Rogue repeated. “Jesus, Logan. Have you not seen the way you look at her? How she looks at you?”
“How she looks at me?” Logan questioned. 
Since when did driving Rogue to her second date become a time for confessions?
“Hank was right, you both really are as bad as each other.”
Logan had to shake his head. “Wait, Hank? Beast Hank?”
Rogue could help but laugh. 
For months Rogue had watched Logan and yourself get close to each other. She had to watch as the looks Logan gave you went from untrusted, to familiar, to friendly to…everything after the fact of trust. Not only could you see it in his eyes that he trusted you, but you could also see what he was too scared to admit to himself. 
He was in love with you. 
And had been for quite some time. 
Of course, Rogue had only noticed this in the last couple of months. 
Except, when talking with Hank as he cooked and she mostly watched and snacked on the parts he wasn’t using for the main meals, she realised it had been going on for years. 
How you had looked at Logan. Intrigue, civil, uncharted, familiar, friendly, safe and,,,love. 
And apparently Hank hadn’t been the only one in agony watching both of you. According to him, so were the rest of the team. 
They were all just surprised nothing had actually happened yet. 
“W-why are you laughing?” Logan’s gaze kept flicking from the passenger seat beside him to the road ahead until he finally pulled up outside the movie theatre. 
“Because you’re both idiots.”
Logan didn’t look entirely amused. “Thanks, kid.”
“Look, I could tell you but…you need to work this one out for yourself. Thanks for dropping me off.”
As Rogue stepped out of the car, she closed the door and walked away. However, a few paces from the car she stopped and turned back around. 
“Fuck it, I’m just gonna tell you.” 
Leaning back inside the car, Logan looked back at her. 
“You love her. And she loves you.” Rogue told him. “You’ve both loved each other for a long time and it’s about time you both do something about it before time passes and you’re both too chicken shit to do something about it. There is a reason everyone already thinks you're a couple, and that’s because when neither of you are thinking, you both act like it anyway. You should really see the way you look at each other, Lo. I hope I can find that some day, too. It’s rare. Don’t let it slip past you. Either of you.”
Rogue watched as Logan soaked in all of her words and then settled back behind the steering wheel. 
Reaching into her bag, Rogue pulled out a book. “This was on the counter when I came downstairs.”
Logan took it from her. It was a new book. The new book you would be discussing about. Tonight. 
“Figured she might need that. Maybe you can drop it off with her?”
Logan looked at Rogue and gave a smile. “Thanks, kid.”
Rogue shrugged. “Just mention me during your wedding speech.”
Shutting the car door, Rogue watched as Logan pulled out of his parking spot and drove down the street, turning the corner to head towards the address you had given him earlier that week. 
“Just in case you or Rogue needs me.” You had told him. 
Pulling up outside the house, KELLER written on the mailbox, Logan turned off the engine, took the book from the passenger seat and headed up the porch steps and knocked on the screen door. 
From inside he heard laughing before a familiar face opened up the door. 
“Oh, my. Logan, isn’t it?”
Logan nodded, trying his best to hide the flush on his cheeks. “Mrs Keller. I’m hoping Y/n is here. She left her book and I thought-”
Mrs Keller gave a wide smile and pushed open the screen door for him to come in. “Of course. The more the merrier. Your wife will be happy to see you, I’m sure. Follow me.”
As he did so, Logan soon found himself entering a second living room where around a dozen people were sitting in somewhat of a circle, either on the sofas or on the floor. 
“Look who’s come for a surprise visit!” Mrs Keller announced. 
Everyone turned with welcoming smiles and slightly shocked expressions. 
“Logan.” You weren’t expecting to see him. 
“Hey,” Logan breathed with a smile at seeing you. “Rogue. She picked up your book and I thought you might need it.”
You stood and took it from him softly. “Thanks.”
“Well, honey? Aren’t you going to give him a proper hello?”
Suddenly you and Logan felt a dozen pairs of eyes on you both and with a slight awkwardness, you leant up and kissed his cheek. 
“Oh, come on. Girls, I tell you. Last week they were like two teenagers.”
You felt your cheeks go bright red and you hid your face with the cover of your book. The only comfort was Logan’s hand that hadn’t left your hip since you stepped into him to kiss his cheek. 
“Oh, Logan, please. Will you stay?”
Logan looked around the room. It was the first time he understood the expression “Feeling like you were going to be eaten alive.”
“No, no. This is…your thing. I don’t want to intrude-”
“Nonsense! Besides, we’ve been dying to know more about our little mystery.” Mrs Keller said with nothing but affection. 
“Who knew mystery could have so much romance?” 
Logan turned to where the voice came from and by your reaction, he gauged the voice belonged to Prissy. Who’s name he would soon learn was Pricilla. 
“I’d love to.” Logan replied, looking back to Mrs Keller. 
“Wonderful!” She clapped her hands together and got comfortable in her chair. “Oh, Darwin, honey, come and sit by me so the lovebirds can sit together.”
The sofa in which Darwin had been sitting was as big as a seat and a half. So, when Logan did finally sit down, you were practically sitting on his lap, the only comfortable position you could find yourself in was tucked in by his side, your legs over his whilst his hand held your knees on his thighs. 
Thankfully, your back was supported by the arm of the chair, but either way you felt yourself melt into Logan’s side, his body heat warming you. The fire Mrs Keller had on in the hearth was enough to heat the room but there was just something about Logan’s warmth that made it…different. 
“Oh, you two just make the most adorable couple.” Mrs Keller smiled, watching the pair of you, noticing the smiles you gave each other as you both finally got comfortable in being so close to one another. “Like no one else is in the room.” 
Logan heard Rogue’s words echo inside of his head. 
She was right. 
“Oh, you have to tell us how you met? Please.” Daisy asked from the floor beside the coffee table. 
Prissy coughed. “Aren’t we more interested in discussing this week’s book?”
A chorus of “No” sounded out. 
With a shlump, Prissy sat back with a noise stuck at the back of her throat. 
“Oh, tell us how you met!” Darwin called out. “Start at the very beginning.”
“You know it’s gonna be a good story when they look at each other like that.” Daisy added on. 
Prissy leaned forward. “You know, if you want a good love story, I can always tell you about how me and my darling husband met.”
Dawin groaned. Loudly. “We already know your story, Pricilla.”
“God knows we’ve heard it enough,” Mrs Keller mumbled. 
“We want a new story and we want to hear about Y/n and Logan.”
You looked at Logan and Logan looked back. Something seemed different about him. It was almost like something was gleaming inside of him. You just couldn’t figure out what. Or why. 
But you loved seeing a new side of him. 
There was just something that made your stomach flip and your heart grow when Logan showed you another side of him. A side he didn’t let people see that often. Sometimes a side he wouldn’t let himself see. 
“We met at work.” Logan told them. 
“Yeah, he nearly bulldozed me in the Professor’s office.”
“I did not.”
“You did.” You countered. “I almost got a concussion from how hard you opened up that door.”
“You weren’t even near the door.”
“No, because I jumped out of the way when you did.”
Mrs Keller smiled. “Let me guess, you didn’t get off on the right foot?”
You shrugged. “Not particularly.”
“It took time…about six months before we had a real conversation. And even then it took time.”
Mrs Keller smiled with a knowing look. “The best ones always do.”
Over the next two hours, you and Logan were asked question after question. Most of them scolding you for not mentioning or bringing Logan to the book meetings sooner so they could all meet him. 
Eventually, you did get onto the book you had all read. Prissy spent most of the time talking about the book and Logan got to witness first how she took the descriptions of a bird and placed the conversation back on her husband and what they had done during the week. 
The first time, Logan could see it almost as sweet. After that it just got tedious. 
But he couldn’t care. Not when he felt you fall into his side, allowing for his arm to come around your back, his hand fanned out across the exposed skin from your hip where your t-shirt had come untucked from your jeans. 
As the fire in the hearth settled into a constant warmth, people started to get more relaxed and cosier, pulling up blankets, putting on Mrs Keller’s complimentary cosy socks. 
Apparently she had a pair for everyone. 
“Let me go and get some more snacks and then we can talk about chapter fifteen.” Mrs Keller gave a small gasp. “I didn’t see it coming.”
But you shot to your feet. “No, you sit down. Let me.”
“Oh, thank you, dear.”
Sitting back down, Logan stood with you and walked into the kitchen with you. 
For a moment, you both talked about the book club and everything that had just happened before a comfortable lul came and you both realised you had to talk about the elephant in the room. 
“We need to talk.” Logan told you. 
“Do we?”
“Rogue told me something and it’s been on my mind ever since. And I can’t stop thinking how much she might be right.”
You poured some pretzels from the jar into a section of the dish. “Really? It must be bad if you’re agreeing with her.”
“Can you just…look at me for a second?”
You stopped pouring the snacks and looked at Logan, only for him to grab your hands and hold them in his. Running his thumbs over your knuckles, you forced yourself out of your thoughts and back to focusing on the real Logan in front of you. 
“I think I’ve known it for a while, I just don’t think I’ve been able to let myself know it because, if I do…look, I’ve lost a lot of people.”
He was scaring you now. 
“Logan, what’s going on?”
“I’ve lost a lot of people,” he finally looked you in the eye. “But I’ve come to realise you are not someone I can lose, Y/n. I don’t want to lose you. But if I don’t tell you something now, there might be a day when I could still lose you anyway.”
“Logan, you’re scaring me. Has something happened? What did Rogue say to you? I told you not to talk to her. That kid can be scary.”
Logan chuckled at that. It was true. Especially more recently. Very recently, in fact. 
“I’m in love with you, Y/n.”
You felt yourself falter and stiffen at his words. 
“You are the person I trust the most in this world, and I don’t say that lightly. I trust you and I love you. But I can’t lose you. So…” Logan took a breath. “Please tell me if I’m going to lose you because of this, because I don’t want to. I don’t want to ever lose you. Especially over something that I’ve done.”
“You…you love me?” You questioned. “Logan…how…when…Logan, you can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because you…you just can’t.” 
You were in shock and disbelief. “I’m not someone you fall in love with.”
“Little late for that.”
“I’m being serious.” Pulling your hands from his, you walked away for a second. You needed space. You needed to breathe. You needed…you needed…
“So am I.”
You couldn’t help but scoff. “Logan…I…you…we…we don’t…”
“We don’t…what?” Logan asked you. 
“We don’t fit, Logan. We…we spent years building…us. Don’t you think that couples tend to know- if not instantly, a little sooner than us?”
“Y/n. I love you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“I love you.”
Logan started walking closer to you, repeating his words with every step. 
“Logan, you don’t.”
Taking you by the shoulders, he looked you in the eyes. “Yes, I do. And…I’d wager to say you feel the same, too.”
“Logan…”
“Just listen to me.” Logan begged. “Please.”
And so you did. 
“Coming in here to tell you this? I didn’t expect you to tell me the same. I still don’t. I get you’re scared. Hell, I’m terrified. But the only thing that is keeping me from running out of that door is you. I know you, Y/n. And you know me, so when I stand here telling you that I love you, you know I’m not lying. You know that you are the only person I cannot lie to. I respect you too much to do that.” 
Logan continued. 
“But just now…you said ‘us’. And after what almost happened the other night and what happened in the kitchen with Hank…hell, even back there with the Town Gossip Board…”
Logan studied your face for a moment. You were fighting back tears, white knuckling the countertop beside you both.
“I can’t lose you, Y/n. So, please, tell me now. Just answer me this and if you want me to walk away I will. Do you love me?”
“Logan…”
Logan’s grip on you tightened for a moment as he bit his lip saying your name. He was desperate for an answer, wishing for you to say yes. For you to tell him not to walk away. 
He couldn’t lose you…but maybe he already had. 
“Please…” His voice broke. “Please.”
And then you broke. 
“Of course I love you.”
Pulling him in by his collar, you held your other hand against his face before kissing him. It wasn’t soft or gentle. It was full of desperate and an outburst of emotion that you couldn’t put into words. You could only hope he knew what you meant by your kiss. 
Almost instantly you felt his hands come to your waist before he pushed against you, kissing you back, allowing his arms to snake up and around your back, holding you flush against his chest. All the while, his lips caught yours once more after half a breath. 
Your tears dried up and your hand fell to Logan’s side as he turned you, your ass bumping against the lower counter in the kitchen. A low groan came from the back of Logan’s throat as your hand dipped under his t-shirt and your fingers raked across his skin and up the side of his torso. 
However, just as Logan was about to lift you onto the counter, you both heard a voice call out from the living room. 
“Did you manage to find the pretzels? They’re in the cabinet above the stove!”
You and Logan pulled away, breathless. With his hands tangled in your hair and your forehead pressed against his, Logan forced a swallow, his cheeks heating as he smiled, still feeling your hand on his skin. 
“Yeah, we’ve got em’!” Logan called out. “We’ll be there in a second.”
You let out a small laugh, as did Logan. 
“How long have you got left here?”
You turned your head to look at the rustic clock above the kitchen dresser. “About an hour.”
“Make it 45?”
“50.” You gave it as an offer. “I still want to find out what they thought about Chapter twenty two.”
Almost out of arm's reach, Logan pulled you back. “Hey.”
“What?” You asked, allowing yourself to fall back into him. 
Looking at you, Logan smiled before brushing the hair from your face and leaving you with a kiss that left you a little stunned and dizzy in the best way imaginable. 
“I love you.”
“I love you, too.”
“Wait.” Logan said once more, before pulling you back. You laughed a little. 
“If we spend any more time in here, Mrs Keller is going to think we’re about to defile her kitchen.”
“We almost did,” Logan smirked watching your face heat before he started fixing your hair and your top. 
And you did the same with him. 
Finally walking back into the living room with the snacks, you and Logan sat back down together, your legs draped over his lap all the while your fingers subtly played with the ends of his hair, allowing your nails to run up and down the back of his neck every once in a while that had him shifting in his seat. 
You were out of there within forty minutes. 
But not before Mrs Keller gave Logan his own pair of cosy socks. 
“Yellow and blue,” she told him. “For some reason, they speak to me. They’re yours. You’re an honorary member. Feel free to drop in any session. We’d love to hear more about you two.”
Both yourself and Logan smiled before walking back to the car where he opened up the door for you before walking around and getting into the driver's seat. 
It took all of a month before everyone found out you and Logan had finally come together. Rogue and Hank seemed the most relieved that something had finally snapped between you two.
You both spent most mornings and nights tangled in each other’s arms, finally free to admit the truth to each other. 
You had loved Logan for a long time. And he had loved you just as long. 
Neither of you planned on stopping that any time soon. 
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Text
✨His Queen✨
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Short drabble I wanted to write because I am unwell for this man…
Lucifer x f!sinner reader
Summary: Your first time with the King of Hell, and he might be even more nervous than you are~
(I don’t even have a set up for this, I’m diving in head first like I would for Lucifer. This is just porn without plot 🤷🏻‍♀️)
Tag list: @trashbin-nie
@yellowsubiesdance
@j-jinxee
@stevensdickrider
@airwolf92
@mrssabinecallas
@myhornybrainonlyknowsthis
@bee-sinner
@thesoccerenthusiast
Warnings: 18+, smut, humping, pet names, oral (m & f receiving), fingering, p in v, service top!Lucifer
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All throughout, the only thing that could be heard in Lucifer’s home was the sound of your lips crashing into his relentlessly. Your nightgown draped over his legs while sitting in his lap for at least an hour now, on his throne, no less. You’re breathless, your lips are swollen, and you can’t get enough. You haven’t pulled apart in what seems like an eternity, Lucifer moaning into your mouth as your tongues intertwine. However, you’ve become increasingly more aware of the bugle that’s growing between your legs. Ever so slowly, you start to rock your hips back and forth. Lucifer instantly freezes from the sudden sensation, inhaling sharply.
“I’m sorry,” you apologized sheepishly, “I didn’t mean…”
Lucifer cut you off with another kiss before you could finish your sentence. “Please don’t stop, love,” he whispered.
Blood rushes to your cheeks from hearing those words. You felt Lucifer’s hands travel down the sides of your body, stopping at your hips. You start rocking your hips again, eliciting such sweet moans from him. He was so sensitive and you knew it, you knew you could make him putty in your hands and that excited you!
“F-Fuck, sweetheart…,” Lucifer moaned, “this is…this feels amazing.”
One of his hands slid down your thigh at an agonizingly slow pace and you continued your motions. His hand stopped when he felt the soft cloth of panties. He tried to hide his small smirk from you, but you caught him. You knew the fabric must have been wet, and it’s clear from his reaction that he noticed too.
“May I, my angel?”, Lucifer asked softly. You nodded your head wordlessly. You stood up almost too quickly as Lucifer reached for the hem of your panties. You felt them get dragged further and further down your legs until they finally touched your feet and hit the floor. You resumed your potion, straddling Lucifer once more.
He reached down to press his fingers at your folds for the first time. You felt your face heat up, it was something you’ve been wanting for so long. Lucifer exhaled heavily, his painted cheeks flushing a different shade of red. You could feel his hand trembling against you.
It’s been a while since he’s been intimate with anyone, Lilith had been gone for so long. Lucifer had been so alone during that time, never pursuing another lover. Until you, of course.
Noticing his hesitation, you brought your hands to his cheeks, cupping his face. His shining red eyes stared into yours as you leaned in for another kiss. “It’s alright, Luci, take your time,” you soothed him.
“Thank you, love,” he smiled. After a deep breath, Lucifer finally began to tease your entrance, running his fingers up and down your slit. You grabbed onto his shoulders as if you were hanging on for dear life. His thumb found its way to your clit, circling it slowly. You couldn’t help but let out a moan. His fingers began to push up into you, thrusting them in and out of you at an even pace.
You rested your forehead on the crook of his neck, your cries were stifling and your checks were burning. “O-ohh my God, Lucifer, you fee-feel so good.” Lucifer placed his lips on your neck and began to bite and suck every inch of it. Your knees were becoming weaker and weaker, you felt a tightening in the pit of your stomach with every motion of his fingers.
But suddenly, Lucifer removed his fingers from you, making you whine in protest. You pulled your head up to ask why he stopped, but it became very evident. He brought his fingers to his mouth and began to suck on them. You pushed your face back down into his shoulder to hide your reddened face.
“Mmmm, you taste absolutely delightful, darling, ” he murmured in your ear. “I need more.”
Without warning, Lucifer scooped you up in his arms and carried you to his bedroom right across the hall. You always forgot how strong he was considering his stature, but it never failed to amaze you. Once he reached the side of his bed, he laid you down as gingerly as possible, positioning your head onto his pillow.
“Wait,” you said, pulling yourself upright and positioning yourself on your knees. You reached for Lucifer’s shirt and began to unbutton it hesitantly. Lucifer said nothing, only nodding, letting you continue your work. His face became flushed once more, you couldn’t help but smile at the way you made him feel. Almost prideful. Almost.
You made your way to the last button and gently push his shirt off his shoulders, letting it hit the ground. He was beautiful, his pale skin was mesmerizing like a marble statue. But he was warm, very warm, you noticed as you ran your hand down his chest. “Beautiful…,” you said to no one in particular. But Lucifer had impeccable hearing.
“My love, nothing compares to your beauty,” Lucifer sighed. “I want to devour you. Please, let me see you?”
With some hesitation, you reached down to the bottom of your nightgown to pull it up over your head. Your body now laid bare before him. You went to cover yourself with your arms, but Lucifer held your wrists before you could.
“Don’t cover yourself, darling,” he pleaded, “you’re the most intoxicating creature I’ve even had the pleasure of laying my eyes on.” He leaned into you again and planted a passionate kiss on your lips, you couldn’t help but moan into him. He pulled away, looking longingly into your eyes. But only for a moment. His eyes couldn’t resist trailing down to look at your chest, his face turning beet red.
“My eyes are up here, Luci,” you said jokingly.
“Forgive me, sweetheart,” Lucifer apologized and snapped his head back up to look at you once more. You chuckled and pulled your hands away from his loose grip to grab his instead. You placed each of his hands on your breasts, almost making Lucifer lose his composure. “So soft…,” he murmured as he began to softly knead at your skin. “Lay down on your back for me, love. I only had a small taste of you, I have to have more…”
You gulped hard, doing as he says. You untucked your legs from under you and rested your head against his pillow once more. You stared at the ceiling, too embarrassed to think about what was happening. You felt Lucifer’s sharp hands on both of your knees, snapping you out of your trance and forcing you to focus on him.
“Open up, angel,” Lucifer asked sweetly. Whenever he spoke like that to you, it was impossible to say no. With a shaky breath, you part your legs, exposing your glistening pussy to him. Lucifer’s shaky breathing echoed in his large bedroom. “S-Shit,” he choked out, “forgive me for this.”
Lucifer’s head fell between your legs in an instant, his hands resting on the inside of your thighs. You let out a strangled yelp at his tongue began to lick up and down your wet folds. Fuck! It felt better than you could have imagined. His tongue darted in and out of you, his lips vibrated against you and he moaned and hummed from lapping you up.
“L-Lucifer, f-fuck ohmygod!,” you cried out. “Don’t stop, please don’t stop!”
“I wouldn’t dream of it, my dear,” he responded coyly. You could feel a smile creep across his face as he continued to eat you up. Lucifer took one of his hands and placed two of his fingers right by your entrance, it was almost painful waiting for him to put them in you. “I need you to cum for me, I’m not stopping until you do,” he whispered before plunging his two fingers into your ruined cunt once more. That alone almost sent you over the edge. He began to pump his fingers in and out of you, faster and faster, while his tongue tortured your clit. He continued at a relentless pace, never giving you a chance to relax. Your mind was beyond foggy, you couldn’t even tell him to stop even if you wanted to. Which you didn’t.
“Luci…L-Luci I’mgonnacumFUCK,” you nearly yelled. The tightness in your stomach was threatening to snap. You gripped his soft and silky blond hair as he brought you to the very edge.
“Promise?,” Lucifer responded while pushing a third finger inside of you.
That was it, your head snaps back and a breathless scream escapes your lungs. Your orgasm hits you like a freight train. You feel your walls start to pulsate around his fingers which refuse to slow down. Lucifer devours the mess your soaking pussy made while letting you ride out your high. You finally come back down to earth (so to speak) and are able to breathe again, beads of sweat pooling on your forehead. Lucifer retreats his fingers from you and takes one last taste of you from his now cum-soaked fingers.
“Mmmm, fuck sweetheart, never tasted anything more enticing than you in my entire existence,” Lucifer praised. You brought your hands to face to cover up your cherry red cheeks. His words never failed to make your head fuzzy.
“Luciferrrrr,” you whine playfully, “you can’t just say things like that!”
Lucifer chuckled, “I’m sorry if I embarrassed you, love.”
You propped up onto your elbows. Lucifer had straightened up and was now on his knees in front of you. Your eyesight trailed downward and it was obvious how hard he was. His cock painfully straining against his pants. He noticed your stare sheepishly looked away.
“Your turn,” you said as you crawled towards him, only stopping an inch away from the large bulge he had in his pants. It lit a fire in you. It was his turn to be devoured.
“Y-You don’t have to do that, hon, I’m alr-”
You cut him off by placing your hand on his clothed cock. Lucifer immediately tensed up. “You’re right, I don’t have to,” you said looking up at him with ravenous eyes, “but I want to.” You heard Lucifer audibly gulp. “On your back, Luci,” you coerced.
Lucifer nodded and did as you said. He made his way to his pillow and laid down, holding his breath. You began your ascent, crawling and hovering over him. He looked so adorable beneath you. Your hands made their way to his belt, pulling it off in a flash with a clank to the floor. The button and zipper were next. Carefully you undid both with ease. You reached for the hem of his white pants and eased them down his legs. All that remained were his briefs. And my God, they left little to the imagination.
It didn’t occur to you until just now that you’ve never seen Lucifer’s dick before. It drove you wild just seeing the outline of it. He was huge. You bit down on your lip without thinking, Lucifer looked away from you in embarrassment. It was then that you noticed the large wet spot on his briefs from his leaking tip. He was an absolute mess, all because of you. A wonderful sight to behold, for sure.
You couldn’t wait any longer. You reached up to pull down his briefs, setting his cock free at last. It was impossible to look away, you knew you had to eat him up immediately. His dick continued to leak precum onto his stomach, Lucifer’s hands gripped the sheets beneath him as he watched you inch closer and closer to his cock. You placed your hands on either side of it, massaging everything around the one area he needed you to touch. He bucked his hips up at your touch impatiently.
“Please,” you heard Lucifer beg, “pleasepleaseplease!” The sounds of his desperate pleas sent waves of pleasure through your body, it drove you mad. Not wanting to torture him any longer, you took ahold of his cock and placed his tip into your hot mouth. You heard a broken moan escape from him as you lapped and sucked on the head, licking up every drop of precum that had leaked out. It was salty, but you didn’t mind. He tasted divine.
You began to bob your head up and down on his shaft, taking in as much of him as you possibly could. You knew you would choke otherwise. Your one hand remained on his hip to keep him from bucking up into your month while the other hand pumped his cock in tandem with your mouth. You figured it might be fruitless to try and hold him down since he could overpower you in an instant, but you knew he wouldn’t ever hurt you.
You saw that he was unraveling quickly, but you didn’t want this to end so soon. His staggered breathing and wanton moans were music to your ears, you’d do anything to keep hearing them. You trailed a long lick up from the base of his shaft to the head were you peppered a few kisses. One of Lucifer’s hands flew to his mouth to keep himself from being any louder than he already was while the other white-knuckled the bed sheets. It was an absolute dream to see the King of Hell be undone by you.
You felt him throbbing in your mouth, you knew he was close. But all of a sudden, two hands flew to your shoulders to push you off. “Wait, wait, wait!,” he pleaded as you let go of him completely.
“Oh my gosh, I’m sorry! Did I hurt you?,” you asked ashamed.
“No, no! Of course not,” he reassured you, placing a hand under your chin. “You…fuck, you felt so good, my love. But…”
You didn’t even know what happened until you were on your back now looking up at Lucifer hovered above you. You noticed his eyes had turned a haunting red and yellow, with black slit irises piecing your soul. His horns had burst from his head with torn flesh wrapped around the base of each, adorning his snake-shaped halo with a burning flame below it. His angelic wings sprouted out from his back, enveloping the entire bed in shadow. His tail had popped out as well, whipping back and forth behind him as if he were a predator on the hunt. You were his prey.
“I’m having a really hard time keeping it together, darling,” he spoke quietly, almost ashamed at his lack of control. His more demonic form caught you off guard, but you weren’t afraid. You smiled at him, reassuring that you were alright. He smiled back, showing off his large sharp teeth. It made you shiver. God, you wanted him. And you wanted him now.
“I-I need…shit…c-can I…,” Lucifer fumbled over his words, struggling to form a coherent sentence. You cupped his face in you hands and planted a soft kiss on his lips. You reached one hand up to stroke one of his wings, curiosity getting the better of you. You could have sworn it was the softest thing you’ve ever felt, you were entranced. Lucifer let out a low hum, his wing leaning into your gentle touch.
“Yes, you can, Lucifer,” you murmured into his lips. “Fuck me now, please, I need you…”
His composure broke completely. His lips crashed into yours with a vigorous force. You wrapped your hands around his neck to bring him as close to you as he could possibly get. You felt the head of his cock graze your entrance. You whimpered at the sensation. Lucifer looked at you expectantly, only for you to silently nod your head.
All you felt next was his cock sliding into your pussy until he was fully sheathed inside of you. It took a few seconds to remember how to breathe again. He stretched you out, filling up every inch of you completely. Lucifer couldn’t help but bite down on your shoulder, desperately trying not to cum right then and there. After only a moment or two of getting used to his size, your body started to relax around him.
“Please move, Luci,” you moaned.
Lucifer retracted the grip his teeth he had on your shoulder and placed his forehead onto yours. Ever so slowly, he started to shift his hips, taking his cock out just to pump it back into you at a rhythmic speed. But of course it didn’t take long for him to pick up the pace, his thrusts becoming more and more staggered and uneven.
You could have sworn you were seeing stars. Or perhaps it was the light bouncing off the tears forming in your eyes. It was a pleasure you’ve never felt before. You felt whole. That new knot in your stomach was tightening once again, and was threatening to release with more force than before.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Lucifer whispered, clenching his teeth and screwing his eyes tight. “Gonna cum, love…gonna cum, FUCKFUCKFUCK!”
Quickly you wrapped your legs around his waist, making sure he stayed in place. “M-me too, sshhhiiit,” you managed to choke out. “Cum in me, pleasepleasepleasecuminmeLucifer!”
Those words made him incoherent. He held your hips down as he thrusted into hard and fast. At last, you felt him throbbing inside of you, emptying his load into your waiting cunt. You screamed as that sensation pushed you over the edge as well, your newly painted white walls pulsating on his cock.
Both of you could hardly catch your breath, your orgasms finally fading away. He stayed inside of you for only a minute longer before pulling out. Your body mourned that sensation already. Lucifer fell down next to you in the bed, his demon form receding. You watched as his chest rose and fell at a slow and even pace. He turned towards you and smiled, he tucked some hair behind your ear that had fallen in your face.
“Thank you for that, my angel,” he spoke softly. “You were perfect.”
You couldn’t help but smile. You scooted your body closer to him, nuzzling yourself into his chest. Still so warm. “No,” you said, “thank you, Lucifer. That was heavenly…no pun intended!”
He chuckled. “Funny you say that considering where we are, my little duckling.” He grabbed you by the waist and ever so gently placed your body on top of his. He let his wings spread once more, wrapping them and his arms around you in a soft and tender embrace. “I love you so much, sweetheart.”
You smile and gave Lucifer one last small peck on the lips before your body collapsed from exhaustion. “I love you more, my king.”
~~~~~
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I’m not seeing the pearly gates after this one, lads!!
But please let me know what you think of my very first NSFW fic, I was nervous about writing about something I’m not well versed in 😅
I had fun though and that’s what matters!
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malcriada · 1 month
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I don't want my friends to die, please help them
long story short, my friends Alaa (@alaajshaat) and Bilal lost their tent after the Khan Yunis massacre and had to sleep on the street for a while. they are now in an extremely unsafe location.
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all places in Gaza are dangerous, but being forced to stay in an unsafe location because they have no other choice is especially dangerous. needless to say, i am worried sick about them especially because their fundraiser has been stagnant for a long time, with a few donations here and there coming through that help them survive yet another day. but it's not nearly enough.
as of today, 08/14/24 they have: $ 23.783 / $ 25.000
everything helps. even $1-2 genuinely help them out. please never underestimate the power of small sums.
they have been verified on @/el-shab-hussein's and @/nabulsi's list of verified fundraisers here (#95, line 99). i have been talking about them on my blog for a long, long time, you can check out my tag here
i am in contact with them almost daily, if their internet connection permits it. they are very dear to me and the thought of them not having enough for their daily needs pains me to no end. please share this and give what you can. apologies for the tag but i'm a small blog and my posts do not get traction otherwise. please shoot me a DM if you'd like to be removed
@timetravellingkitty @deathlonging @briarhips @dirhwangdaseul @mahoushojoe
@rhubarbspring @schoolhater @pcktknife @transmutationisms @sawasawako
@feluka @terroristiraqiss @irhabiya @commissions4aid-international @wellwaterhysteria
@deepspaceboytoy @post-brahminism @khanger @evillesbianvillain @neechees
@mangocheesecakes @kyra45-helping-others @jezior0 @7bitter @tortiefrancis
@toiletpotato @fromjannah @omegaversereloaded @vague-humanoid @tododeku-or-bust
@aristotels @komsomolka @xinakwans @heritageposts @nibeul
@ot3 @amygdalae @ankle-beez @lonniemachin @dykesbat
@watermotif @stuckinapril @mavigator @lacecap @yugiohz
@socalgal @chilewithcarnage @ghelgheli @sayruq @northgazaupdates2
@vakarians-babe @wayneradiotv @paper-mario-wiki @rthko @decolonize-solidarity
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wholoveseggs · 30 days
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Homecoming
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18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List}
{Daemon Targaryen x Reader} You haven't seen your husband since your passionate wedding night, leaving you to doubt his love. Now, three months later, you're round with child and missing him more than ever—until he suddenly returns.
♡♡ This is purely just to get all my daddy Daemon feelings out, I 100% believe he has a breeding kink. ♡♡
3.2k words - Warnings: smut, major breeding kink, slow sex, so so so much fluff, a little bit of angst and Daemon apologizing in bed...
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@elijahstwink @starshipcookie @absolutemarveltrash @odairtrqsh @darkened-writer
@cheneyq @fallout-girl219 @nina6708 @evasmlp @sadmonke
@deamonloverrrr @urmomsgirlfriend1 @moonsleep
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It was another quiet night, in a bed far too large for one. The wind was gently blowing through the curtains, bringing with it a cool breeze and the smell of the sea. It was late, and everyone was asleep, yet you laid awake, tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep.
You rolled over onto your side, the silk of the sheets sliding against your bare skin. These days, sleep evaded you, no matter how much you tried. If it wasn't your thoughts keeping you up, it was your changing body and the ever growing life inside of you.
Three months ago you had gotten married to the prince Daemon, a dream of many girls across the kingdom. But your marriage was hardly that. The day after the ceremony you woke up in an empty bed, and hadn't seen your husband since, leaving you to wonder if you had done something wrong.
He had left you no letter, no message. Nothing. Only the memory of your wedding night, the way he touched and kissed you, his sweet whispers of adoration as he made you his. On the loneliest days you would close your eyes and remember it all, his lips on yours, the way his fingers caressed you, the feel of him inside you.
You place your hand on the small bump of your stomach, a smile spreading across your lips. Although it had only been one night, he did his duty and you were pregnant. A piece of him was always with you.
But it wasn't enough.
You longed to see him again, to touch him and be held by him, to tell him of the life growing within you. You wanted so desperately to be with him, but instead you were left with the ghost of his love, a memory that wasn't enough to fill the hole in your heart.
You sighed, trying to push away those thoughts, and attempted to fall asleep, but every time you closed your eyes all you could see was his handsome face. You opened them again and sat up, staring into the darkness.
You could see the light of a torch through the cracks of the door, and the sound of footsteps. You knew exactly who it was, the guard outside your door. His shift was almost over, and soon a new one would be out there, watching over you. There was a muffled conversation, and the sound of someone walking away.
A few moments later the door cracked open, and the torch light poured into the room. Your eyes squinted at the sudden brightness, and as the person entered the room they shut the door.
You were about to give your guard a kindly lecture on waking you up when you noticed that it wasn't the guard who had walked in, but a hooded man. You opened your mouth to call for help, but before you could get a sound out he was at your bedside, his hand covering your mouth.
"Don't scream, my love, it's me." He whispered.
You blinked at the voice, your mind taking a second to process what was happening. Your eyes widened, and you reached for his hand. He took it away from your mouth and intertwined your fingers together, his other hand pulling down his hood.
"Daemon." You breathed, looking up at his face.
The torchlight casted a warm glow on his handsome features, highlighting his strong cheekbones and sharp jawline. His hair was longer than the last time you saw him, hanging past his shoulders, his eyes were dark and clever, looking you over with admiration.
You pulled him towards you, your lips crashing into his. He let out a sigh, a sound that sounded almost pained, and returned your kiss. Then you harshly pushed him away, hitting his chest.
"Where have you been?" You demanded.
"I had matters to attend to." He told you.
"Three months!" You cried. "Three months I waited for you, and you were doing what?"
He smiled and pulled off his cloak, his eyes raking over your form. He reached out to cup your cheek, his thumb gently stroking your skin.
You wanted to be angry with him, you really did, but the look he was giving you, like he was starved, melted away your resolve. You leaned into his touch and looked up at him through your lashes, a smile tugging at your lips.
"Asshole," You whispered.
"My love." He whispered back, leaning down and placing a kiss to your forehead.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for another heated kiss. You were angry, yes, but seeing him now made all of that fade away. Your ire could wait until the morning.
His lips were gentle and loving, and you were so happy that you had almost forgotten that he had been gone. He kneeled on the bed and pulled you close, his hands cupping your cheeks.
When he pulled away, you rested your forehead against his, smiling and breathing hard.
"I thought you left me," You admitted, your hands gripping his wrists, as though you could keep him there forever by holding on to him.
He hummed, his nose nuzzling against yours and you pressed yourself closer to him, trying to get as much contact as possible.
His large, warm hands moved down to the swell of your stomach. He placed his palms flat against the bump and leaned back, a small smile tugging at his lips.
"Did the maesters tell you?" You asked, placing your hands over his.
He nodded, his eyes lifting up to meet yours. "How are you feeling?" He asked, with such gentle kindness that it made your heart melt.
"Big." You answered, laughing slightly. "I can't wear any of my old clothes, and I have to have new ones made all the time. And the way the ladies look at me when I go out..."
He shook his head, a breathy laugh escaping him, his thumbs caressing your skin. It was true that you had changed since the wedding, your body swelling with his child. You were nervous about how he would react, but the softness in his eyes and the way he touched you told you otherwise.
"I wish I could have told you the news myself, it's a shame you had to hear it from some crusty old maester," you said.
"It is a wonderful thing to return home too," he smiled, leaning forward and pressing his lips against yours.
He kissed you deeply, his arms wrapping around your waist. You smiled into the kiss, your fingers weaving through his long, silver hair. You could feel his lips turn up against yours, and you both pulled away.
He looked at you for a moment, his eyes raking over your features, a smirk tugging at his lips. His hands trailed down your sides, sending a wave of heat through you.
"My prince," you said softly, your fingers brushing along his cheekbone. "We've already made a baby. You don't have to do this."
He laughed, and shook his head, a look in his eyes you couldn't decipher. "I forget just how innocent you are," he said, his hands trailing down to your thighs.
“Well, whose fault is that?” You teased, smiling up at your handsome husband.
You sucked in a breath as he leaned down, his lips trailing kisses along your neck, his teeth grazing over your skin.
"It's true, I've been away for too long, my lady wife has forgotten what it is I crave," he breathed against your skin, his lips finding yours once more.
Your hands slid down his shoulders and arms, feeling his muscles. He pulled back slightly and tugged off his shirt, letting it fall to the floor.
"You have gotten bigger as well," you said, running your hands across his chest, feeling the hard muscles.
He smirked, a cocky gleam in his eyes. "Oh?"
"It suits you," you said, a playful smile on your lips.
His hand came to rest on the side of your neck, his fingers caressing your jaw. His thumb brushed against your bottom lip and he leaned in, capturing your mouth with his.
"And you are more beautiful than the day we wed," he said, his voice husky.
"My prince flatters me." You breathed, a blush rising on your cheeks.
His eyes went to the ties on your nightdress, a row of pretty little bows that went down to the valley of your breasts. He tugged at one of the ribbons, the fabric becoming loose.
He pushed it aside and his hand moved up to caress your breast, his thumb rubbing your nipple, causing you to gasp.
"Still as sensitive." He said, a smirk on his lips.
He leaned down and took your other nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, before gently biting down. You tugged hard on his hair, your legs kicking and squirming as he continued to play with you.
"Daemon," you moaned.
He hummed, the vibration causing a wave of pleasure to wash over you. He let go of your nipple, and his mouth moved lower, placing hot kisses along your skin, his hand pushing up your night dress.
"Perhaps a bit more sensitive." He commented, his hand brushing along your thigh.
He hooked a finger into the waistband of your small clothes and pulled them off. You were now naked, your body on full display for him, and he leaned back and admired his work. His hand on the swell of your belly, his thumb tracing over a stretch mark.
"Beautiful." He said, a sincerity in his voice that made your heart skip a beat.
You looked away, suddenly shy. You had only spent one night with him, and now he was here again. His touch, his words, they all still had an affect on you, making your stomach flutter and heart race.
He leaned down, and pressed a kiss to your bump, his hand resting on the side of it, his lips trailing lower. You smiled softly, and ran your fingers through his hair, the silver strands smooth between your fingers.
His hand came to rest on your thighs, gently coaxing your legs open. You watched as he positioned himself between them, his head almost disappearing behind your bump.
His eyes flickered up to yours, and his smirk was all too knowing, causing you to blush and turn away. He leaned forward, his tongue darting out and licking up your slit.
You gasped, your grip on his hair tightening. He did it again, this time focusing his attention on that sensitive little spot he introduced to you on your wedding night. He placed a soft kiss on it, his tongue circling it.
"Dae-ah," you moaned, trying to muffle the sound by pressing a hand over your mouth.
You didn't know if it was the fact that you were pregnant, or maybe that you missed him more than anything, but everything felt different, his touch more intense.
His hands gripped the backs of your thighs, holding you down as his tongue licked and circled you. His mouth moved down and his tongue slid into you, making you arch and cry out. He lapped at your arousal, his tongue going in and out, the sounds he made, the hums and sighs, driving you wild.
He groaned, a sound that vibrated through your entire body, and his tongue went up, swirling around that little spot again, his mouth closing over it.
You moaned his name, your thighs squeezing him, your whole body trembling as your release washed over you.
He placed a few more kisses to the inside of your thighs before rising up, his hair messy and face glistening with you. He wiped his face with his arm and leaned down, his lips capturing yours.
You could taste yourself on him, and you kissed him hard, your hand tangling into his hair, the other reaching down to the ties of his trousers. He helped you undo them, and kicked off his pants.
His hard length sprung free, and you wrapped a hand around it, causing him to let out a shaky moan. He pressed his forehead against yours, his hand cupping your cheek, and his eyes locking onto yours.
You slowly started to stroke him, and he let out another moan, his eyes fluttering closed, his breath hot against your skin.
"My love," he groaned, his hips thrusting into your hand.
You loved the effect you had on him, the control you had. To have the prince of dragonstone, the most dangerous man in the realm, at the palm of your hand, made your heart flutter.
His hand found yours, and he guided it away from his length, a whine leaving your throat. He chuckled and gave you a quick kiss before positioning himself between your legs.
He slowly pushed himself in, causing you both to moan. It hurt a little, just like the first time, but his hands were on your thighs, his thumb caressing your skin, and he slowly pulled out and pushed back in, letting you adjust.
"My love, I'm not going to break," you said.
He smirked and gave a shallow thrust, a gasp leaving you.
"I can't be too careful with what is mine." He said, leaning down and giving you a heated kiss.
He pulled away and rested his forehead against yours, his hand sliding up the length of your leg, coming to rest on your bump, his other hand planted next to your head, holding himself up.
He started to move, his length slowly sliding in and out, the pace slow and gentle. You could feel every inch of him, rubbing against that perfect spot. A soft moan left you, and you reached out, your hands on his chest, feeling the hand planes of muscle underneath his skin.
His thumb caressed your belly, his eyes never leaving your face, studying every detail, memorizing each feature. You felt so exposed under his gaze and turned away, your cheeks flushed.
He smiled, a soft, loving smile, and kissed you.
"How I've missed you, my beautiful wife," he said, his voice thick with emotion.
You looked up at him, seeing nothing but love in his eyes. It was the way he had looked at you at your wedding, the two of you standing there in the sept, whispering promises to each other. The world had disappeared around you, and in that moment you were the only people that existed.
He kissed you again, and began moving a little faster, the sound of his hips meeting yours filling the room. He groaned, his hand still gently stroking your bump.
"I can't believe such a perfect creature could bear my child," he said, his eyes trailing down to where his hand rested.
"Our child," you corrected, giving him a teasing smile.
He hummed, leaning back and wrapping his arms around your waist and helping you into a sitting position. He pulled you onto his lap, and you moaned at the way he was buried deeper inside you.
His lips left open mouth kisses on your shoulders, and his hands rested on your hips, guiding you. You braced yourself on his shoulders, his hands back on your bump as you moved. You knew he liked the feel of it, and he couldn't get enough.
Your name left his lips as you bounced in his lap, his hands cupping your ass, squeezing you. You moaned, your hands sliding into his hair, tugging at the silver locks. You were growing louder, your body humming, that feeling building within you.
"Not too loud, my love," he whispered. "I do not wish for the guards to hear,"
A moan, that was halfway to a laugh escaped you, and he cut it off with a deep kiss. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, as you kept moving, the feeling of your release building.
"For your lovely sounds are only for me," he continued, his voice in your ear.
You let out another shaky moan, his hands squeezing you. He was moving his hips to meet yours, and you could feel him shaking beneath you. His hands gripped your hips tighter, and pulled you harder, his voice soft yet commanding as he talked you closer to your peak.
Your hands gripped his arms and back, and when he said your name, a deep, low groan that sounded almost pained, you toppled over the edge, falling in a pool of ecstasy. All the pent up emotions and frustration that you had been holding in were released, and you let go of a final moan that you muffle in the crook of his neck.
He followed soon after, capturing your lips in a heated kiss and letting out a deep, satisfied moan. You clung to him, afraid that he might disappear if you didn't. His arms were wrapped around your middle, cradling you close to him, his lips pressed to your temple.
The two of you breathed in each other's air, a simple shared breath, your foreheads pressed together, your eyes closed. You could feel his lips on your sweat slicked skin, his fingertips still caressing your bump.
When you both had returned to your senses, he gently laid you back on the bed. He leaned down, the tip of his nose nuzzling against yours, and peppered your face with little kisses. You smiled and let your eyes flutter open, finding him staring at you, a sweet, lovestruck look in his eye.
He grabbed the blanket, and covered your naked form with it, tucking it around you, almost protectively. He crawled under with you,his head resting against your chest, his hand still protectively cradling the swell of your stomach.
You wrapped an arm around his shoulders, and ran your fingers through his hair, smiling. He looked up at you, his eyes sleepy, and he pressed a kiss to your bump.
"I hope it's a boy," you said, continuing to stroke his hair. "With the most handsome features, and a true warrior, like his father."
"Mm," he hummed, his eyes closing, and his arms wrapping around your waist. "I hope it is a girl, a daughter that looks just like her mother."
He was silent for a moment, and you wondered if he had fallen asleep, when his eyes suddenly opened.
"Or perhaps both," he said, his voice serious, a glimmer of something in his eyes.
"Twins?" You laughed. "I don't think I could handle two little dragons running about."
He chuckled, his fingers drawing lazy circles on your skin. "I will be here to help you," he said, his eyes meeting yours. "I am not going anywhere."
"You better not," you warned, poking his chest. "You've kept me waiting long enough."
He laughed again and caught your wrist, bringing your finger to his lips and placing a gentle kiss there. He slid his arms back around you, and pulled you close, your foreheads touching, your noses brushing.
You were content, your heart filled with so much love for him, and as his breathing evened out and his eyelids drooped, you knew he felt the same. You drifted off to sleep, dreaming of what was to come. Of a big family, a happy life, and many more nights just like this one. 
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ruleofheart · 6 days
Text
growing pains — ellie williams
ellie williams x f reader
7k
fluff, angst, smut >O<
ellie if nothing bad happened to her ever, childhood friends to acquaintances(?) to lovers, longing, joel is involved, ellie is a DWEEB! but so are you, car sex, classic misunderstandings
to the lovely folks that asked to be tagged, i hope this meets your expectations… i am terrified of failing you: @macaroni676 @d3sperationn @g3latin
beta read by @heartofrhea my best friend my apologies for being cringelord
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The universe can be so cruel. 
You sit at the edge of the curb, curling your legs to yourself to feel less vulnerable. Your phone rolls in your hand, tears of frustration prickling at your eyes. You probably should’ve known better. Well— you do know better. That sinking, intuitive feeling had been swirling in the center of your stomach all night, but you had let your desperation and loneliness take ahold of you. 
You had agreed to go out with some friends and some friends of friends; people you didn’t know jackshit about, but hung out with anyway. You had hoped you didn’t reek of seclusion too bad, feeling like a wounded animal in a crowd of predators. 
But your friends and their friends didn’t really care. They had pulled away from you in the club, losing you to flashing lights and crowded bodies. You searched up and down, called their names in the dingy bathrooms, and even asked the bartender. No dice; you were here to party alone. Now what was the point of even coming along?
Silly.
You initially opted to order an Uber to just get the fuck off the street already, but hey— it’s a Friday night and finals are over. The prices listed cost more than six different coffee runs, and there’s no way you’d be giving those up. 
It’s how you end up sitting on the curb and fervently wiping your tears away, cringing when you remember your hands had been touching all the club door handles and god knows what else. You feel dirty, forgotten. 
You unlock your phone and dim the brightness— the stupid thing almost all out of battery— and turn to what seems to be a last resort, an option that you’ve buried away at the back of your mind for years now.
Pressing your phone to your ear, you can’t help but sigh as the line rings repeatedly, almost positive that you’re completely out of luck. 
It falls silent for a second before there’s faint rustling on the other side, and a voice so familiar, so painful to hear, questions you softly. 
“Ellie,” you say breathlessly; from fatigue or relief, you’re not sure anymore. “Can you come get me?” 
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Becoming friends with Ellie Williams was almost too easy. 
That’s just how she is as a person. So easy to be around; her voice and twinkling laugh showing no threat. 
It began with Mrs. Sullivan’s freshman class seating chart; a table of four with you, Ellie, and two other boys who were too preoccupied with copying off each other’s notes half the time for you to even remember their names. You mostly kept to yourself as a weird adolescent, the onslaught of teenage hormones and emotions forcing you into your own little world. 
Ellie, on the other hand, was different. She had noticed the front page cover of Savage Starlight slipped into the front sleeve of your binder, the edges frayed and jagged as if you had actually ripped it off. She was almost offended at the sight of such a careless pull, but found the emotion wavering once she realized you read the comics just like her. 
“Hey! No way!” she had exclaimed with a growing smile, her eyes lit up. She had half a mind to just reach over and take your binder, fingers skimming over the glossy cover. She stopped herself mid-way, mind racing before she asked with just as much glee, “Can I see? I don’t think I’ve been able to get ahold of that edition yet.” 
Your short-lived conversations about Savage Starlight began to transform into lunchroom giggle sessions and bike rides on the way home. She was so easy to fall into; it was almost like she had a part of herself that was reserved just for you, eager for your arrival.
The thing about your dynamic was that it was so intricately woven over time, each thread of yourself intertwining with her own as you came to know each other better. Unabashed adoration and excitement with every laugh, with every moment of eye contact across the classroom and dinner table at home: a twinkle of unwavering youth and closeness.
And the thing was, when it came to you, Ellie was not prideful at all. She would openly admit any given moment that there had to be a hole in her heart that was in the shape of you. The two of you fit so nicely in each other’s lives, slipping into a familiar rhythm that almost seemed karmic, even at such a young age. While you were surrounded by other girls your age navigating their own pent up emotions and typical coming-of-age realizations, turning against each other and whispering dirty secrets, Ellie only seemed to cling onto you— hanging onto your every word with sincerity and trust.
It didn’t take long before Ellie began to invite you over to sleepovers, which was new territory for both her and Joel. He was already a little awkward as-is, navigating life with a teenage girl who had the same foul mouth and temperament as he.
So when you came around, greeting him with little smiles and kind language, he couldn’t help but feel his heart sway in relief, happy that Ellie has someone like you in her life. 
You’d tumble off your bikes, leaving them strewn across the front yard, crushing the grass he labored so hard over. But he didn’t mind, relieved to see the two of you arrive in one piece, losing yourself in video game releases and comic book pages as you both sat in her bedroom. 
Joel became a sort of fly on the wall for you two, ever-present as you were fairly comfortable in their home. Tuning the both of you in and out, listening closely for anything that may alarm him (which, never happened). Sitting across the both of you at the dinner table, serving up a quick and easy bowl of Hamburger Helper to you two. He’d glance at the two of you from under his eyelashes, watching how either you or Ellie would lean into each other as you splayed out homework sheets on the table, muttering to each other in curiosity. The two of you may have been better off sharing a single chair, he’d think to himself in amusement. 
Again, your presence in Ellie’s life and in his home never worried him. It became routine for him as well, watching the two of you bike up the block together almost every day after school. 
One hot summer afternoon, he stood on the porch, prying off the entrance screen door in an attempt to replace it, the critters from the greenbelt nearby winning at their efforts to nibble away at the material. 
From afar, he could hear the growing sound of your chattering, your bike chains clicking repeatedly as you breezed down the sidewalk. He glanced over his shoulder, watching as you two fought amicably, reaching out to each other in a playful attempt to push the other off their bike. He chuckled to himself and turned his gaze back to the screen door, fingers prying at the edges. 
Behind him, Ellie reached a little too far to the side, fingers brushing against your arm before she toppled over sideways off her bike. She collapsed with a laugh-yelp, swearing at you in a way that made you burst out laughing, your shoes dragging across the concrete to stop your bike. 
You hopped off your seat, carelessly letting it fall to the side as you approached Ellie, laughing at her as she pushed herself off the ground. 
“You idiot,” you breathed out in between laughs, nearly folding in on yourself as the incident repeated in your mind. 
“Dude!” she scolded lightheartedly, trying to feign annoyance, and of course failing. She stuck out her arm to show you a deep scrape right above her elbow. “This shit burns.” 
You caught your breath and stepped closer, eyeing the scrape. It was rather gnarly, and you inwardly winced at yourself knowing it was probably going to scab horribly.
“Damn,” you muttered to yourself, holding her arm and twisting it to get a better look. Joel eyed the way you two interacted, pulling away from his task as he glimpsed the bloody splotch on Ellie’s elbow. 
From where he was, he couldn’t exactly make out the words that you two exchanged, your voices lowered significantly. From the look of it, you were offering an apology. He didn’t catch the way you smiled up at her apologetically, but he was positive that his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him when you leaned in and placed a harmless, healing kiss onto her arm, right above the scrape.
It was, in reality, lighthearted and childish. A testament to your playfulness, your eagerness to please Ellie’s heart. 
And although Ellie didn’t realize it, there was a flicker of emotion that crossed her face. A change in her eyes; in the way that she looked at you. It flew over your head, too; busy smiling up at her, pulling her closer with the strength of the sun’s gravity. 
But Joel noticed. He caught this sudden change, this glimmer on Ellie’s face. He felt the complexities of youth and new emotion washing over him again, a short chuckle leaving his lips as he turned away, focusing back on fixing the screen door. 
Later that night, he pulled Ellie aside. 
“Hey, kid. I’m gonna need you to keep the door open when she’s around, alright?”
“What?” Ellie asked, utterly oblivious. A look of distaste flittered across her features. 
He was trying to remain as nonchalant as possible, knowing all too well that if he pushed too hard or looked too stern, Ellie would just defy him out of her own stubborn nature. He folded some blankets over the couch, eyes avoiding hers. “Just keep it open, Ellie.” 
She groaned in annoyance and threw her head back, hands falling to her sides. She looked truly exasperated, confused with this sudden change in house rules. 
That night, as the door remained cracked open, Joel walked by Ellie’s bedroom to sort some towels in the hallway closet. His ears picked up her frustrated tone; “…wants me to leave the door open now. Never heard of a rule as stupid as that, but whatever.” 
You giggled calmly, then fell silent for a second. “It’s okay. My mom has that rule too, for my brother and his girlfriend.” 
And he could almost hear the way Ellie’s face scrunched up, a confused groan escaping her again. She failed to reply, and the topic at hand was dropped as soon as you leaned over to her and showed her a page from a new comic, rambling on about how the plot hole in this series was diabolical. 
He silently walked away, mind wandering as he tried to think about how to approach this blooming situation, a flicker of both hope and protection illuminating in his chest. 
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It was junior year of high school when the foundation of your friendship began to split, allowing something else to slip into it. Something sneaky, deceitful, something that constantly rendered you speechless and warm. 
You no longer rode your bikes or shared comic books; you were much too old for that now! Ellie had just gotten her license, a little too eager to drive Joel’s old beat up truck around with you in the passenger seat. And, of course, the both of you felt like true teenagers when you finally got phones.
You sat on Ellie’s bed, your knees pulled to your chest as you scrolled through your timeline. You giggled at random collages of pictures and videos, occasionally showing your screen to Ellie in hopes that she would laugh with you. 
She sat on the other end of the bed, a rolled joint held delicately in her fingers. Joel wasn’t home, and her bedroom door was closed. The walls of her bedroom trapped the both of you with the smell of it, but you were slowly learning to not mind it as much. 
When you first received a phone, you found yourself diving into social media, trying to keep up with this sudden boom of a new language, new jokes, new form of communication. Ellie, on the other hand, never touched her phone. If she was using it, it was probably because she was texting you. She refused to engage with any social media at all, meaning you had to sit and explain new jokes and trends to her. Sometimes, she’d try her hand at new lingo or an ongoing joke, but failed so miserably each time that you’d roll over her bedsheets in laughter. 
She pressed the joint to her lips, eyes lazy as she looked at you with longing. The brightness from your screen illuminated your face, emphasizing every beauty mark and freckle. 
“Hey,” she started, voice low. “C’mere.” 
You looked up at her in curiosity, putting your phone down. Your eyes stayed trained on her as you scooted closer, the sides of your legs pressing against hers. 
She wasn’t sure if it was the smoke or the way that you peered up at her that made the center of her body feel warm. She tilted her head away from you as she exhaled, the smoke clouding the space between you two; your heart thundered in your chest. 
“Almost done,” she promised, voice only a little raspy. “Missed you; that thing is hoarding all your attention.” The corners of her mouth twitched. 
“Is not!” you defended, shoving her shoulder with your own. “I’m right here.” 
“Yeah,” she began, her hand coming up to tap at your head playfully. “But you’re not here. Let’s do something; been wanting to play a few rounds of that old zombie game.”
It was how you end up pressed into each other’s sides, hollering and giggling at the tiny TV screen on her bedroom dresser. You played erratically, your fingers relying on nonsensical button smashing to survive. Ellie had to constantly revive you every five minutes, but never mentioned it. 
She missed the way you squealed in anticipation with every new round that started, your eyes wide as you spoke with a constant smile. And, maybe it was from her high, but she was a little too intent in the way that she watched you, her mind feeling far away as she memorized every crevice of your face from the side. 
“Ellie!” you scolded, bringing her out of her daze. “No way you already died, the round just started!” 
She turned her attention back to the screen, scoffing as her player screen was black and white, her character eye-level with the ground. 
“Damn,” she muttered, surprised that she let herself slack off for so long. Too lost in your side profile, the dip of your lips, the way your lashes fluttered in surprise when a zombie attacked you in-game. 
Your character raced towards her, shooting around sloppily before you pressed the buttons to revive her. Her hand found itself on the top of your thigh, right above your knee. Perhaps it was the fogginess of her mind, or a newfound boldness that spurts through her; but she squeezed at your leg, her eyes stuck on the screen. “Thanks,” she says a little too nonchalantly, like that was completely normal. 
You swallowed thickly, your own movements faltering. There was a red ring forming around your player screen, indicating that you were being ruthlessly attacked. 
She snickered, her voice playful. “Focus.” 
The two of you kept on, your mind instead slipping up and focusing a little too hard on the way she touched you. 
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It was senior year when that particular, sneaky something begins to widen the cracks in your relationship. A feeling that blurred your vision, blurred your mind. A feeling that made it impossible to correctly decipher whatever it was that Ellie was going through, and the two of you began to fall apart. 
It mostly started when Ellie got a job at a skate shop. For the most part, it was relaxed, her days consisting of seeing the same people come and go for wheels and decks. But it meant that she had less time to spend with you. 
Initially, she would use every single day off to see you. To invite you over or to laze around on your fluffy duvet, listening to you ramble about your nervousness as graduation was approaching. She would take you out, spoil you rotten with the excitement of her new paychecks, saying fuck all to saving any money. 
And in reality, you didn’t care about the way she spoiled you; granted, it was nice and certainly made your heart beat a certain way, but you mostly valued that she made the effort to see you still. Exchanging silent words and looks across the classroom was no longer sufficing your yearning heart. 
Months passed and Ellie started to become a little bit more focused on balancing school and work; she was set on saving as college approaches, and you figured that the prospect of growing up had changed her. She was set on a college, set on astrophysics, set on buying Joel some land and maybe, hopefully, spoiling you some more in a few years down the line…
But she was maybe a little too caught up in it. She saw you less and less, accidentally channeling her friendly energy to her coworkers. And while you knew there was nothing wrong with that, you couldn’t help the bitter taste that rested on your tongue when she constantly brought up the names of others that you’d heard of countless times. A part of you wanted to turn to her, ask her so pathetically, why can’t you do the same with me?
You started to really feel like you were losing her when you finally got the chance to sit in her room again, the both of you babbling about what you think college will look like. At first, the comfort of her poster-covered walls and space trinkets settled your restless heart, and you had felt at home with her again. 
It wasn’t until she slipped away to use the restroom, leaving her phone on her bed. The screen illuminated as it buzzed once, twice— three times. You should’ve left it alone, thinking maybe it was Joel warning her he’d be late from work. But you leaned over anyway, reading over the text on the screen.
For one, it was a coworker. You recognized the name on the notification; and for some reason, when you realized it was from the only other girl at her workplace, a horrible feeling nestled into your stomach. 
And then you couldn’t help the minor feeling of betrayal as you realized they had been messaging each other on a social media platform; one of the many things Ellie swore up and down that she’d stay away from. 
You didn’t even follow her on there. She never told you. 
It’s silly, you thought. Ellie can do whatever she pleased. But this new turn of events, this tiny thing that was still so out of character; the foundation between you two felt almost completely severed. 
Weeks passed from that day and you them found yourself pulling away. The both of you were accepted into the same college, but you couldn’t even find it in yourself to feel excited. Ellie begged you to fill out your housing papers on time so that the two of you could be roommates, but you purposefully procrastinated. You weren’t sure you could handle such close proximity with her anymore. 
It was with this that the gap between the both of you widened. She didn’t drive you home anymore; it was time to put your own license to use. You two no longer exchanged knowing looks across the room, and you sure as hell didn’t share dinner with Joel anymore, either. You started to forget the exact layout of her bedroom. 
Graduation came and went; you spent it in solitude, not really counting the presence of your family members. Ellie did race up to you and gave you a bone crushing hug, nose burying into your hair, but you were so caught up in it all that you didn’t reciprocate it. 
It was another one of those minor things that widened the gap, made her step away from you both physically and emotionally. 
Even when Joel offhandedly mentioned that he’d be okay with helping you move into your dorm, Ellie made up some excuse on the fly; saying your brother had it covered. She hadn’t even asked you.
So, just like that, summer passed in a blink. You spent your days curled up in your bed, wallowing. Ellie spent it trying to distract herself, losing herself in the presence of coworkers-turned-close-friends. You shamefully stalked her social media, tears pricking at your eyes as she posted places and things that seem so fun, so far away. Places and things that you would’ve liked. 
What hurt more was the constant questioning from your family. Where’s Ellie? What’s she up to?
Hell if you knew. You’d been relying on her story highlights for snippets of her life, and even then they were still so vague. Scenery, music, her guitar. Someone else’s hands holding a deck of cards, videos with incessant giggling in the background. God, you were almost sickly with both wanting and loneliness. 
And, just like that, it was freshman year again. This time, there was no seating chart. No binder for you to slip comic book covers into. No comfort of hopping on your bike and riding home with the only person that matters at your side. 
You were in some sort of emotional purgatory. Your mind blank as you walked around campus, as you stared at your laptop screen in the dead of night, body aching as you slumped over and completed your coursework. The excitement and late nights that you and Ellie had planned were nowhere to be found. 
On the other hand, Ellie busied herself so much, she found that she almost forgot you. Almost. 
Burying herself into her homework, mind trying its hardest to wrap around these new concepts. Partying, though she wasn’t not really there. Smoking some, drinking some. It all still felt lonely. 
She was enjoying this new group of friends, but they didn’t amount to the certain someone that still had their shape, their initials carved into the center of her heart. It was almost unbearable to exist without you; the two of you blending into each other so well, she still found herself saying things the way you did— the intonation, the little lingo, the mannerisms. Your existence was embedded into her own, folding over into her psyche so compact-tight, she knew she could never escape you. 
Ellie assumed that now, at this point, it was about carrying you in her soul even though you were no longer around. The beauty of this life; she’d lost you, but not entirely. Your personality reflecting in her own no matter what, no matter how hard she tried. Her existence was a testament to your own— someone’s been here. Someone’s loved me. 
Weeks passed. Months passed. The both of you constantly shuffling across the same campus, yet never running into each other. Your text messages now buried underneath more recent threads, your shared playlist long forgotten and neglected. 
Winter break hit and the loneliness bit just as much as the cold. When Ellie returned home, she noticed her old bike in the garage, propped up against storage bins, the tires flat. When you returned home, you came back to photos of the both of you, pinned to your wall. Your breath stuttered in your throat as you took them down, throwing them into a box in your closet. 
At the same time, yet separately, the both of you traversed new grounds, and odd fucked up forms of grief. Being in your own space yet running into things that reminded you of someone that you wanted the most. And it wasn’t not like they were gone; yet the both of you let go, deciding that somehow, it was for the better. 
The cycle repeated as the seasons changed. Instead of actually moving on, the both of you just somehow got better at repressing your emotions and acting like nothing happened. Occasionally reflecting on your friendship in a daydream, and then reminding yourself that somehow, it just wasn’t meant to be. It was time to move on— she was never yours. 
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It’s summer now, the end of junior year. Ellie’s at her friend’s place, sipping on a poorly made drink as they play card games and tune into a new season of a trending series. She’s cross-legged on the floor, smiling to herself as her friends talk over each other, slamming the cards down on the coffee table and trying to warp the rules in their own favor. It’s fun, and it’s easy to sit back and watch everything unfold. 
She feels her phone in her back pocket vibrating; assuming it’s Joel just checking up on her, she gets up and excuses herself, slipping out the back porch door. 
When she reaches for her phone, her heart nearly stops beating altogether. In fact, she’s sure it does, as her stomach suddenly twists in confusion and pain, a small cough leaving her lips as she tries to collect herself. Your name shines on her screen as you call, and she’s so sure she’s hallucinating (the hell was in that drink?) until she swallows her surprise and answers. 
And there you are. Breathless, exhausted. Immediately, she knows. Despite it being so long, despite the fact that she’s not entirely sure she knows you anymore, she still recognizes the tone in your voice, recognizes that you needed her. 
“Where are you?” she blurts before you can finish your sentence, her body automatically pacing around. “Send me the address.” 
You’re apologetic, sounding defeated on the other side. You tell her over and over again, I’m sorry.
There’s weight behind the way you say it, like you’re apologizing for something more. Like you’re counting all those times you shut her out, the times you let her slip through your fingers. It’s weak and shaky, but Ellie doesn’t bring it up. She’s too busy slipping on her shoes, keys dangling from her fingers as she mouths to her friends that she’ll see them later. 
She stays with you on the phone the entire time she drives over to get you. She asks, over and over again, if you’re okay and in a safe area, and your heart twists with guilt and shame. You stay planted on the edge of the curb, looking like a wilted flower.
Ellie feels her heart drop to her stomach as she approaches the street that you sit on, her headlights illuminating your pathetic figure. She rolls down the window and pulls over, calling out to you. 
Your eyes are low, the shame blatantly evident on your face. Ellie’s not sure how this will unfold; this isn’t exactly the way she dreamed the two of you would reunite. But that look on your face— Ellie knows it well enough. You’re both 15 again, and you’re trying to hide within your own body somehow. She sees the embarrassment, the bitter feeling that sits at the center of your chest. 
You approach her car and observe at her through the window, eyes avoiding her own. You study her form, how much she’s grown. She’s got a new haircut; it’s shorter— gayer. You can almost imagine yourself laughing at her, can almost imagine twirling the short pieces between your fingers. A patch of black ink catches your eye just then, your gaze landing on her forearm. Since when did she get a tattoo? 
She unlocks the door, silently beckoning you in. You slump into the passenger seat, completely defeated, and she reads your body language well enough to know not to pry at the situation. 
She shifts the car into drive but realizes that she doesn’t even know where you live anymore. The car sits there, idle as she tries to figure out what to ask you and how, then you mutter the directions to your apartment, reading her confusion just as well. 
The sound of Ellie’s music is quiet, practically just a gentle hum as the two of you sit, rigid as you keep your gazes locked on the road ahead. You don’t intend to explain yourself or have some sort of emotional come-to-jesus moment with Ellie, figuring that this situation alone is already stressful enough. 
But, she clears her throat and opens her mouth to speak, eyes still locked on the street signs. “You see the trailer for the new Savage Starlight adaptation?” 
You give her an awkward chuckle. “Yeah,” you say, nearly whispering. “Looked like trash, honestly.”
Ellie laughs at that. Laughs. And god, it’s not the kind of laugh that kills her, but it’s a solid one; an honest one. It sounds so good as it erupts from her chest, the sound of it pouring into your ears and over your heart. Christ. 
Your eyebrow twitches and you have to turn your head to look out the window— you can’t let her see the look on your face. You’re sure your eyes are wide and pooling with some sort of desperation. 
And, of course, Ellie catches it. But she just cares too much about you, so she lets all these little thing slip by to keep you comfortable, to keep you with her for even just a second longer. 
The conversation stays trained on little comments, acknowledging new video game releases and comic book trailers as if the both of you are in high school again, caught up in your nerdy obsessions. The air is thick and steady; the both of you dancing around this thinly-veiled attempt to be normal. The smallest things, such as the sound of her clearing her throat, or her hand coming up to scratch at her cheek, make your skin crawl with anticipation. 
You brace yourself for the ball to drop, holding it so tight to your chest, you’re almost suffocating. 
And while there’s no way you’ll drop this act, desperately clutching onto this feeling of faux normalcy, you know Ellie will. She’s much too blunt and forward focused to let you both sit in this awkward, paper-doll like scenario; steadily crafting your sentences, training your eyes to avoid her. 
And, god— it’s almost too easy to let your body relax, to slip back into your old comfortable patterns with Ellie right next to you. Because she’s never been prideful, and never will be, with the way she smiles to herself and breathes: “I missed you. It’s been… really long,” she says the last part with a bittersweet chuckle. “Too long.” 
Your chest caves. Stupidly, eagerly, almost like it wanted to, this whole time. Your body feels prickly and warm, but you school your face to remain somewhat neutral. 
“Yeah,” you offer dryly. “I’m kind of surprised, actually.” 
At that, Ellie tilts her head, fingers fluttering around the steering wheel. “How come?” 
“That, like, you even showed up. And you’re actually being nice and taking me home. I figured you kinda hated my guts towards the end.”
Ellie’s body has a physical reaction to that, and she taps on the brakes by accident. Not hard enough to send the both of you flying forward, but just enough of a push. You whip your head towards her, watching the way she furrows her eyebrows and shakes her head. 
“Sorry. Not trying to be defensive, but why…” She swallows thickly. “Why would you think that? And of me, of all people?”
She’s so, so gentle with the way she says it. Her voice quiet and low, not wanting to scare you away with this sudden confrontation. She reeks of true curiosity and something else that seems like hurt. 
“I just,” you start, trying to gather your words, then pause, not really recognizing where Ellie is driving. “Hold on. Where are you—?”
She pulls into an empty parking lot, stopping the car at an awkward angle, careless about her parking etiquette. 
“I’m sorry. I really just wanna clarify things,” she breathes out, her tone hurried as if you’ll slip and fade away if she doesn’t explain herself fast enough. “But, if you want me to completely fuck off, I’ll take you home. Just tell me.” 
You remain quiet, looking at her with a face that reads half anxious, half eager. A mix of the two, both emotions so similar in nature that maybe it kind of looks like… excitement. 
Ellie turns her body in her seat so that she can face you directly. “I was never tired of you, ever.” She takes in a slow, deep breath, trying to pace herself and keep her voice steady. With you, she can become passionate very quickly, so she needs to remain cool. “If anything, I thought that you felt that way about me. You stopped comin’ around, didn’t even try to room with me, and completely bailed on my attempts to see you. Did I do something?” 
She’s completely disarmed. Her words woven with nothing but good intentions, the look on her face desperate for some sort of reconciliation. She eyes you carefully, and if you looked hard enough, you may have been able to catch the glimmer of want in her eyes. 
Overcome with emotion, you fumble. Too busy with wanting to just defend yourself, swinging around your sword with your eyes shut in the hopes that you won’t get hurt, you don’t even try to match her energy. 
“Well, yeah,” you bite back, not nearly as careful as she was. “You changed. Everything changed. You made other friends, new friends, and just left me behind,” you accuse sharply, not thinking straight. “You… went behind my back.”
Despite the way that you speak to her, Ellie’s face softens. She knows what this is about. She’s too understanding, too willing to do anything to get you back in her life. As the realization slowly dawns on her, her heart flutters both with yearning and a deeper need. 
It’s how you end up pressed against the backseat of her car, her mouth on yours as her hands roam freely around your body. You shut up rather quickly, mind blurring over with the oncoming release of years of pent-up wanting. You tried to keep arguing back at her, and she did nothing but talk to you in that sweet tone, with eyes that scream I love you.
It isn’t that she’s trying to coax you, or anything. It just happened as you begin to increasingly realize that she is not going to fight you; she just wants you. She needs you to know that, she has to make herself clear. 
Fog creeps up the car windows as she presses her knee in between your legs, rocking against you slowly. 
Ellie’s pacing herself; she’s thought about this a few times, guiltily. But in her mind, it’s always been in her bed, her mind crafting the scene of your body, your little sounds. It was like she had to slap her own hand away from herself sometimes. 
So while this isn’t exactly what she had daydreamed it would be, she still wouldn’t complain. Regardless of the situation, you were pressed into her, panting and sighing in ways that made her mind turn to soppy mush, overrun with desire and emotion. 
And, while she’s set on taking care of you and showing you just how much you meant and still mean to her, she can’t help but want to make you admit it too. 
She pulls back from kissing you, her eyes glazed over as she looks at your face. Holy shit.
Skin so warm, and you already look spent. She swallows, suddenly doubting how long she’ll be able to hold off. 
She bites back a satisfied smile before she dips down again, her face hidden in the crevice between your neck and shoulder, kissing all the way down. 
“Take this off,” she murmurs, fingers pulling at the waistband of your skirt. You do your best to follow her orders, cramped up in the seat, pulling your knees towards yourself in an attempt to shimmy out of the fabric. It catches on your ankle, hanging, and you giggle at the state of the situation. Ellie’s heart melts over itself, beating erratically; she’s going fucking crazy. 
You’ve done nothing but moan, twitch, laugh, and flutter your lashes. She hasn’t even felt you yet, hasn’t even seen your body in its entirety. And she’s gone. 
She almost raises an eyebrow at the sight of your skimpy little underwear, but her question catches in her throat. You were at the club, after all. Something sinks in her stomach at the thought of anyone else seeing you like this, observing the way the fabric clings onto you. 
Her fingers massage at your inner thighs, her knee firm in place as she keeps them set apart. Her digits dance right against your core, pressing against the fabric. You twitch, rolling your hips into her, fingers catching on the seatbelt behind you, gripping on for life. She laughs, but not necessarily at you. 
It feels like it takes her years (well, technically) to push your panties to the side, eyes falling hazy as she stares right into you. You’re so vulnerable, you try shutting your thighs close, but she pushes them apart again. 
“I know,” she hushes you, dipping lower to nip at your lips. “I know.” 
Her fingers trace over your folds, and you think you’re about to explode. You hadn’t expected Ellie to be the type to make this agonizing and painful, but you know you probably deserve it after your showcase of attitude. 
She draws her hand back and brings her fingers up to her mouth, sucking on them nonchalantly. A satisfied sigh escapes her as she finally, finally gets to taste you on her tongue. She lets her hand travel back down, and you turn your head to the side, shutting your eyes in anticipation. 
“Look at me,” she commands softly, stopping her fingers right where you want her. 
You nod, giving her the false promise that you will. Ellie sees right through it, and with her free hand she gently grips onto your face, turning you to make eye contact with her. 
She needed to see your face as she fucked you, she needed to know, after so long of wondering, how you looked when facing pure pleasure. 
Your lashes flutter, eyebrows screwing together as she slips her fingers inside your warmth, pressing the heel of her palm against your clit. She’s gentle in the way she stretches you out, working you through it with such care and patience. 
Ellie revels in the way your chest heaves already, pupils blown out with bliss. She moves her knee and lets you shut your thighs together, trapping her hand in place. 
“This is all you needed, huh?” she teases, her voice only a little prickly, but her smile says otherwise. “For me to touch you like this.” 
You nod silently, too busy biting on your bottom lip and rocking your body onto her fingers to reply. 
“Answer me,” she demands with the same softness, setting the tone. Her gaze is locked onto your face, memorizing every twitch of your brow, every whine that leaves your lips. 
It’s almost ridiculous how brainless you are already, melting beneath her entirely. 
“Needed you,” you manage to breathe out, nodding your head again. “So bad.”
Ellie hisses a swear, and she can’t help the way she leans into you, pressing her body against yours. She curls her fingers inside of you, the palm of her hand nudging at your eager bud. She groans to herself as she feels your walls twitch around her digits, her head dropping low as if she has to stop herself from spiraling. She’s hanging on by a thread; a hair, wanting nothing more than to fuck you senseless. But it’s been too long, and she’s got something to prove to you. 
Her eyes shine as she feels your body grow tense, your wriggling becoming more constant. She slows down her pace, watching closely as your mouth drops, a pout playing at your lips. 
“Please,” you begin, and she smiles. 
“Please what?” 
“Please, fucking just,” you try grinding on her fingers, lashes fluttering. “Oh my god,” you sigh, that little attitude trickling in your tone. 
She scoffs, almost meanly. She stops her movements entirely, fingers falling slack in your pussy. “Yeah? Do it yourself, then.” 
And to her surprise, you do. That attitude is wiped clean from your voice as you whimper pathetically, body rolling, walls fluttering as you try to fuck yourself with her fingers. She stares at you in awe, throat running dry. 
It takes her a second, but she blinks and she’s falling back into you. Watching as you desperately chase your release, bumping your clit onto her hand, and you absentmindedly grab onto her arm, trying to anchor yourself. 
She sucks her teeth and sighs to herself. She had intended to drag this out, to make you beg, to make you say that you were hers all along. But with the way you hold onto her, shamelessly rutting your hips, her name falling off your lips like a prayer— she already knows it’s all true. 
She’s kind enough to start thrusting her fingers again, moaning at the way your slick bundles at your entrance, coating her fingers and slipping down her hand. It’s obscene, but she doesn’t care. In fact, it gives her more of a reason to clean you up afterward. 
“Ellie,” you breathe suddenly, your little prayers becoming less coherent as a certain feeling creeps around, engulfing your body and mind. “I’m gonna cum,” you whine shamelessly, the heat in your stomach spreading lower and lower, your body tingling. 
She leans over you again, watching over your face as your eyes slip shut. 
“Go ahead, baby. Let me hear you.” 
It’s a demand but she still says it so softly, a certain tenderness behind her words. You choke on your own moan, body practically seizing as your thighs tighten, fingers digging into her arm. You chant a repeated I can’t, I can’t, I can’t, and Ellie smiles as you do anyway, your cunt swallowing her fingers with your release. 
Her hand relentlessly slaps against your core, even though you begin to tear up and beg for her to stop. She smiles to herself before she slowly drags her fingers out of you, bringing them back up into her mouth. 
It’s not nearly enough. While you slump back into the seat, panting, body still shaky from such strong sensations, she’s busy maneuvering her body to sit on the floor of the car and propping your legs onto her shoulders. 
You blink as you slowly come back to reality, your mind hazy. 
“Ellie,” you start softly, reaching out your hand. 
She reaches up and intertwines your fingers, eyes locked on your dripping cunt as her voice carries over to your ears. “I’m right here. Can’t let it go to waste.” 
Your eyes roll back, another string of moans escaping you as Ellie shuts her eyes and latches onto your clit, moaning into your pussy. 
The hours of the night escape both of you, becoming lost in each other in the back of her car, cementing your fate. 
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Ellie laughs at your blank expression, her hand rubbing down her face in disbelief. 
“That was so… garbage. Beyond garbage. Landfill levels of trash,” you say weakly, the soft lights of the movie theater reflecting off your face. 
She continues giggling at your side, hand over her mouth in an attempt to be quiet despite the fact that the movie is already over. 
You playfully swat at her arm, turning to her, face ridden with shock. “There’s no way you’re not disappointed! This shit was such a waste of money. We were better off pirating it.” 
She shakes her head and smiles to herself, hand wrapping around your own as she pulls you to stand up with her. “I think it was well worth it; it was, like, funny bad.” 
You stand, wrapping your arm around her own as you two trail down the steps of the theater. You continue picking the movie apart, disdain in your voice. You have a reason to be passionate; this lazy attempt at turning Savage Starlight into a box office success had taken a terrible turn, the movie filled with stupid one-liners and god awful acting. 
You should’ve known; it’s been a month since the trailer dropped— or, since you and Ellie came back together. A month of everything falling into place, the pieces of your individual lives slipping back into the way they used to be. A month of constant, whispered confessions, making up for lost time; lovelorn kisses, touches fueled by years of yearning. Pursuing your lives together again, and of course, falling back into your geeky little habits— the one thing that brought you together in the first place, anyway.
You shouldn’t have walked in with such high expectations after the both of you predicted how awful it was gonna be once you both sat down to rewatch the trailers together. 
As the two of you make it outside of the building, Ellie bites her cheek at the way you continue to ramble, the passion in your voice making her heart swell. There is just too much to adore about you. 
“Hey,” she starts, voice low. 
You raise your eyebrows. “What?”
Ellie nods her chin in the direction of her car, mischief written all over her face. “I know a way to give you a happy ending.”
You groan in annoyance, pushing her away. Your voice rings out and into her ears, settling her restless heart as you scold her, a smile showing through.
“Ellie!”
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