#as a trans person I can't begin to tell you how scared I was of starting hrt bc of the genital changes it brings

[shrews-things]

Re. last reblog, this whole issue pisses me off so much and like, if people were more normal about intersex bodies, I think *everyone* would be less ashamed of their bodies

[candyskiez]

Fuck it. I've been sitting on this one for a while.

Lemme talk about Luz as a trans allegory. Is this the only way to interpret her character? Fuck no! Is it one of my favorite ways to interpret her? Fuck yes! Strap in, I am very normal about her story.

Luz's story literally begins with being sent to a camp to make her more "Normal." It is later revealed that one of the people sent to that camp is nonbinary. And they say that the camp was like a prison. Sound familiar?

It's also very noteworthy that throughout the story, it seems like Luz has to choose between being herself and her family. Either have your mom or be happy. Either find yourself or be with someone you love but who you feel like you can't let know you, because you feel like you're too weird for them to handle. It's also very interesting how she interprets Camila's actions, and also completely understandable considering everything. She interprets it as she just became Too Much. Her issues are too much, she's too much effort, she's a burden to her, and she can't justify it anymore. There's something Wrong with her. And she's desperate to make it up to her. She feels like she can only show Camilia a part of herself, because maybe that other part of her isn't what she's supposed to be. Maybe she's just a mess. Maybe she's a horrible daughter. She's weighing her down. (Once again, sound familiar?)

Camilia in grom fright walking in through a door makes me really think of being Outed. Being caught in the act, being realized as Other and just the whole "have you been LYING to me?!" Which. I'm sure many trans people relate to. Hiding this part of yourself from someone you love because you're scared that it's too late to tell them. If they find out, will they take it personally? Will they be angry? Will they need to know every little detail before they're satisfied? Luz doesn't know how Camilia will react after she sent her to that camp, because that felt so out of character for her mom to do and now she's left reeling. She got Too Much for even her mom to deal with. Now she feels like she needs to hide this part of her even more. Her texts to Camilia are also very notable. It just...it sounds so much like sounding scared to come out. Wanting, so bad, for her to know who she really is. She's just...scared. And she isn't ready.

Also the fact that everyone, at every turn, is constantly telling Luz she'll never be a witch. She wasn't born with a bile sack. She wasn't born one. She wasn't born here. She can't be a witch. Humans can't do magic. Humans aren't built like that. She wasn't born a witch. And her dejection in covention is just...

Is she really a witch if she wasn't born one? If she has to make herself one?

And Eda says, what makes a real witch? Someone who conforms and acts exactly like a witch "should?" Thats bullshit, then they'd be miserable. Do whatever , be your own witch. Do you see what I'm getting at.

Also the fact Luz is constantly made to choose between worlds. Human realm and demon realm. Everyone telling her where she's allowed to be. What she's allowed to be. You can't have both. You can't be both. You do not get both. Luz calling herself a bad boy. Luz being referred to as a girl as well. Her being both. Her being told she cannot be both. Do you get what I'm saying. Do you hear me.

And just. God. Thanks to them. None of her old clothing that was so much like her. Covering up her body so much. No more non conforming, none. She has the dysphoria stereotype fit, bit for bit. She's hiding her own body. Trying to look normal. Depressed and she hates herself because she thinks she ruined everything by chasing that happiness.

And what saves her is Camilia telling her, I never EVER meant to make you feel like this. My biggest mistake is not supporting you when you needed it. My biggest mistake is letting other people push you around. I was terrified that they would hurt you for being different, so I tried to make you hide it. I should've stood with you and fought the people who I thought would hurt you. You needed me. And I wasnt there. But I'm here now. Please, don't hate yourself. Please don't think this is your fault. You're beautiful. And just. God! God! Her not using any gendered terms , no my daughter, no mija, NONE. Just. This beautiful, good witch. The thing she always wanted to be allowed to be. Do you see me. Do you see what I'm saying.

And her palismen is a shape shifter. Who can be ALL. Who can be BOTH AND MORE. Luz choosing every track in hexside, having every animal as a palismen, being called a girl and a boy, she is BOTH and ALL and NEITHER and MORE. And it's fucking beautiful.

And onto my favorite part of the allegory. Titan Luz.

Luz is killed by the extremist who thinks anything different is bad and corrupt and evil. She's brought back by an elder who openly says he's the best of both things. Who's lived through years of hatred. And he tells her she has the right to fight back against her oppressor. So get out there and LIVE.

And she transforms. She gets a new body. A new body that's the combination of everything shed ever been. It has calls to her family, Kings fur and Eda's eyes and Camilias hair and Hunters teleporting. But it's so LUZ. It has the light symbol it has her hat and the azura outfit and she looks like HERSELF. She comes back from the brink with a body all her own. That she made for herself. That she CHOSE for herself. She chooses herself and she becomes the best of both things: human and creature of the isles. She's both. She's all. Shes neither. She's something different entirely. She's Luz.

And her speech to Belos. She declares herself as belonging to both realms, as being BOTH. She isn't going to give up one thing for the other. She can have whatever the fuck she wants. She's Luz motherfucking Noceda, she's all of the above, and you can't do anything about it. She's a human, she's a witch, she's a titan, she was born in a world that made her miserable so she found one that didn't and worked on the relationships that weren't working out for her until they worked. She's still weird and different and she doesn't fit into any of your boxes and she's the happiest she's ever been up to this point in the series. She has a body all of her own making. And she's overjoyed. THIS is who she is. She's so comfortable in her own skin in the epilogue it makes me emotional. God. Luz. I love her.

Is some of this reaching? Probably, yes. But I love hitting my favorites with the trans stick, so! I do not care. Love ya Luz, you're the protagonist we did NOT deserve.

[horrorjunki3]

Texas chainsaw massacre slashers with m!reader

Warnings: Canon typical violence, mention of insecurities, sexual content if you squint, Discussion of PTSD and Mental illness for choptop and nubbins and unsafe driving

The reader is meant to be interpreted as a men -> trans inclusive ♡

Thomas Hewitt

♡ I feel like Thomas would like a sweet/kind partner -> he has alot of insecurities and you being kind would go ALONG way.

♡ I personally Headcannon that if Tommy was Queer Lunda May knows and picks up on your attraction to Thomas -> how you react to him is what would save your life! She just wants her boy to be happy after all

♡ His first thought when he sees you was that you were just so handsome and when you smile at him he gets all flustered! -> If you compliment his mask, eyes or hair during this time he will kind off shut down till Lunda May steps in to help!! Matchmaker she is!

♡ He'd think your perfect -> nothing could make this man change his mind - Regardless of your insecurities he'd love every part of you

♡ I think he'd love to see you and his momma getting along! Sometimes when he sees how sweet it is he can't help but pull you away and smother you

♡ His a very physically affectionate person -> However at the beginning of the relationship he is very shy and clumsy about it. Once he gets more comfy with you tho his constantly touching you in very wholesome and affectionate ways like holding your hand or a peck on the cheek -> he was raised to be a gentlemen after all

♡ I feel like Tommy's ideal date is cuddling outside of a night time, just basking in his boyfriends love

♡ when Tommy first asks you out he gives you a letter telling you everything he loves -> although he can't speak it doesn't stop him from expressing his love for you through words of affirmation

Choptop/ Robert Sawyer

♡ I feel like Chop would like a guy who has a unique fashion sense or shares his love for music

♡ He loves passionate people -> if you generally love something with all your heart he just listens to you and smiles

♡ I strongly headcannons that he'd let you live if you're a fan of his band Cornbugs.

-> Imagine recognising his voice and stuttering out that you know him -> name a song you like and he will be so smug and flustered

♡ He'd call you pet names like "Big boy, Big daddy, pretty boy, or babe"

♡ Loves when you call him handsome -> after his plate he didn't think anyone would see him as handsome or love him again -> kiss his plate he will melt

♡ He'd love driving Speeding at night and listening to music -> alternatively he will slow down if it scares you

♡ He'd love if you shared your taste for music with him -> makes him feel like he can understand you better

♡ will write love songs for you and sing them -> sings about how perfect you look when discussing your passions

♡ His extermly affectionate! And will grope you at any moment! Your his man and he finds you so perfect he can't help it.

♡ He'd have nightmares and PTSD flash backs -> will come to you for help because you make him feel safe

♡ Please act like a groupie for him -> he doesn't care if it's real or not he'll melt and kiss you like his starving everytime you do

Cornbugs song reccomendations: spot the psycho, pigs are people too, cornbugs and anything from the album "celebrity pyscho"

Nubbins Sawyer

♡ This sweet sweet boy!!

♡ You pick him up hitch-hiking but alternatively to other people you ask questions, listen and care about what his saying. When he takes a photo of you -> you most likely pay him and ask for one of you guys together bc how could you not? His so cute!

♡ He'd take photos of you constantly -> occasionally he'd let you take photos of him. I headcannon that there's this one beautiful photo of him sorting through photos with a smile and it's so cute. (A/N: I've gotta draw that omfg!)

♡ Tells everyone about you -> asks victims if they think his boyfriend handsome - lord help them if they say no

♡ He calls you "Darlin' , Sweetheart and handsome" -> call him pretty boy he loves it!

♡ His ideal date would be having you in his bed while he takes photos of you -> this isn't necessarily sexual he just thinks your perfect and wants to capture it

♡ He loves showering with you and getting spoiled! His so touch starved and loves to be cuddling you, sitting on your lap or anything he just loves it!!

♡ It's cannon that he has Schizophrenia and there will be days that are harder for him -> please be there for him during these times.

♡ He will tease and mock you but it's done lovingly -> doesn't like it when anyone else does it

Bubba sawyer

♡ Much like Tommy Bubba needs a gentle and kind partner! Please tell him his pretty! Tell them they're good!

♡ I headcannon that Bubbas gender queer and uses he/they pronouns!! Please love and support them! Tell him, he looks pretty when they do their make up!

♡ If your sweet and kind to them -> they'll wanna save you like with stretch! Compliment him and call him how pretty he is and he will choose you over the saw!

♡ Bubbas extermly loyal once you become his family he -> he will do anything for you!

♡ They will carry you - even if you think they can't they'Il make an exaggerated noise and just lift ya! They are sooo strong

♡ Gift giving is there love language and they'll make you little brackets and stuff

♡ His a giant teddy bear and loves cuddles and kisses!!!

♡ They will melt if he sees you Helping them family regardless of if it's to do with meat or cleaning! They love their family and seeing you love them? It's the best sight ever

♡ Bubba wants kids! So he'll definitely want to adopt some lil Bubbas or have some animal babies -> they love cats but are never allowed to keep them:( Maybe if you both beg his brothers you can keep them!!

[gor3sigil]

hi i dont really know how to introduce myself, so i hope you dont mind if i skip that part.

i just wanted to ask about that post you made a few days ago. in one of the last paragraphs you mention how hatching is painful. but is it supposed to feel like my entire world is cracking apart around me?

what you mentioned in the beginning of the post, about how the people around you felt about masculinity, that very aptly describes a lot of my fears of reactions to me identifying as masculine, which is what started me crying and ultimately spurred me to message you.

im just so scared

i have lots of trans people in my life, i just dont know how to talk about this with most of them (see: Very Scary :C) ive spent my whole life using femininity to take down peoples walls and help them feel comfortable around me. what the hell am i supposed to do as man? can i even still behave that way? will people even still trust me? will they like me? will they feel safe around me? its unbearable. every time i think about it my brain tries to run away, there's just so much fear.

is this normal at all? to be scared like this? i mean, considering i too struggle with the radical feminist narrative you mentioned? i dont believe the narrative, but i fear it. and then i get insecure and i cant stop thinking the insecurity an indication that manhood is the wrong direction for me.

am i making any sense?

Hi, it must've taken lots of strength to write all this so congrats to you. My answer will be based on my own experiences so take it with a grains of salt. Yeah, your world will definitely shatter too. Because even if you're just socially transitionning, if you do so while being surrounded by trans friends, most of them will change the way they percieve you so your interactions may change. I know that's scary, but you have to trust the process. If they're good friends, they won't like you less or anything. That's the hardest part I think. As you read in my post, coming ot made me lose tons of friends, most of them trans, because they treated me badly after I came out.

And yes, you are making sense. I went through the exact same fears as you. The fear of not being deemed as safe anymore. Unfortunately, I don't really have any solutions to offer you, appart from building your own community, online and/or IRL. Like I said, most of my trans friends were kinda crappy about me being masc and I struggled for years to feel comfortable in my masculinity as a result. Because I did the same as you, me being a "woman" was my way of saying that I understood the struggles of others and was safe. Let me stress one thing. You are still okay, you're not a bad person. Even if you discover new things about yourself, even if you're transmasc, even if you're transitionning (if you do), you are still very much the same person as before, with your understanding of a number of issues, with your own pas experiences.

It's a point I really can't stress enough. As I said in my post, you are still worthy of love, support, tenderness, being understood, being heard, being listened to, being comforted. One thing I noticed is that my previous friend tended to dismiss my feelings and/or be "rough" with me thinking that it was "affirming" because I was a man now. Let me tell you that that's BS and don't let anyone treat you this way.

Maybe try to test the water, idk if you came out already or not but maybe in your presentation or just by talking about transmasc specific issues with them, see how they react. That being said, I really do hope that your friends will be understanding. Or that by explaining to them how their behavior is wrong they will understand and act differently, because sometimes people so shit cause they don't know any better. I hope this helps, and I really wish you all the best. If you ever need to talk feel free to reach out again. Take care.

[pbeltarts]

I can’t remember where i saw this mentioned but someone pointed out how danny NEVER cries in the show. Like plenty of characters cry, just never danny, and mind you crying is necessary for emotional regulation. The phandom can use this as angst potential. Imagine characters seeing him cry and just going: “oh shit this is serious.” or theres some kind of last straw and Dan just kinda lets it all out at once and starts bawling. Im actually kinda begging u to make a comic based on this lil detail.

Bro in a remake I would love to explore Danny's relationship with his emotions in response to how he's handling his trauma. Because it wasn't done in the original and I think its such a let down!! The only major emotion I remember Danny expressing regularly, that got a slight spotlight, was anger. And that was interesting!

But imagine Danny starting out as an anxious teen, just starting his highschool career. He wants confidence, he wants to be brave, but its not that easy- and then the transition happens. Now, on top of a confusing puberty he doesn't want (because he's trans), he's struggling with this whole other biological change that no one can help him with. He doesn't feel like he can tell his parents for fear of what they'll do, he doesn't tell his sister yet because what if she tells their parents... the only people who know is his two best friends.

And so the anxiety is still rly bad, but he's learning to just brunt force through it because now? He's the only one who can protect people from the mistake he made. He feels responsible and despite the fear he feels, he has to move foward.

(Frankly, this whole 'get through the fear' thing I think would be mounted early on, as a "starting point" where we see Danny struggling p soon after getting his powers, eventually choosing "I can't do this" and wanting to just put it away and not think about it but something happens that sort of forces his hand and he has to do something and use these powers and the success of this proves to him that he CAN do this.)

From there we see Danny go from anxious and scared, to more confident and mischievous as he gains better control of his abilities. Its still awkward at times, its still bumpy but you can see the small change over time- and then he runs into his first biggest problem, Vlad.

Someone he should be able to relate to, someone he should see as a confidant, but instead Vlad treats him like Dash does. Like a freak, a burden, a loser. And it hurts so much more because Vlad is better at everything Danny is just brushing the surface of. And when he loses to Vlad? That puts this nail in the coffin of "I have to get better faster"

So Danny hardens. Subtly at first, spending more and more time as Phantom and practicing and training and at first his friends just think its a phase he's getting through- but he doesn't get through it. He just hardens more. No more goofy Danny, or anxious Danny. Just Danny Phantom, hero of Amityville, the person who faces any monster without fear. He starts not talking to his friends, to his family. He can't open up because they don't get it.

And then he's jailed in the ghost prison. Another trauma, another nightmare, but one he can't easily deal with and escape. It puts a lot of new pressure on him, being there and being surrounded by danger, and having to operate in this way that keeps him alive- to the best of his ability. He makes it out, luckily and barely, and there begins the start of the cracking. Because it was so fucking scary.

More and more I think we should see these moments in Danny's life that warp how he copes with them and see how he changes in response to them, and how the PEOPLE he relents this to help or hinder him.

[call-me-a-simp]

Don't be scared

(oneshot)

Rhea Ripley x Reader x Damian Priest

Mami!Rhea X Afab!(trans ftm)disabled! Reader X Daddy!Damian, smut

You're in your apartment with your partners, cooking dinner while they relax on the couch. They had a pretty rough day and are now watching their favorite TV show.

You join them in the living room, trying to balance the tray with food on your legs and pushing your wheelchair. It's quite difficult since you don't have any feeling inside your legs due to an accident a few years ago, but you've gotten quite used to it by now and it's not that much of a challenge anymore in your daily life.

"Oh sorry babe, let me help you" Rhea says and is about to get up but Damian holds her back. She looks at him confused and before he can explain, you interrupt him. "I don't want help, even if I know you only mean well but I want to make it on my own" you give her a warm smile and she returns it, relaxing onto the couch again.

"Alright then, sorry, what did you make?" she asks curiously. "No need to apologize, you didn't know better. I didn't make anything fancy todas, just pizza with some extra cheese since I know how much you love it" you wink at her and put the tray on the little table in front of the big couch.

You lock eyes with Damian and he get's up, helping you out of your wheelchair and onto the couch next to Rhea. "Now I'm confused.." Rhea says. But you can't blame her, she's new to your polyamorous relationship and doesn't always know when or if you need help.

"he doesn't have the strength in his arms to lift himself out of the wheelchair and onto the couch" Damian explains and you thank him with a smile. "Oh ok" Rhea shrugs. "Don't worry, I usually always tell when I need help but Damian got so used to it that I don't need to say anything anymore" you chuckle.

You eat in silence in front of the TV, even after you're finished no one says a word. Until the main character of the show is making out with another person and they end up showing them in bed. Even though you can no longer feel your legs, there is still a lot of feeling in the area around your hips and lower abdomen.

Damian notices you trying to grind on the sofa without success and smirks, deciding to let you suffer in silence until either Rhea notices by herself or you speak up, which you usually don't do when it comes to being horny.

Rhea sees you trying to shift positions next to her and asks if everything's okay and if you need help, but Damian jumps in saying you're just honey but not able to do anything about it on your own. "Yeah but you two could change that" you smirk at them.

You notice Rhea feeling uncomfortable, she never had sex with you before and it made her nervous. As tough as she might seem out there in the ring, she was a very soft and sometimes really insecure person and you always felt the need to protect her.

"Dont worry baby, there's nothing you have to be afraid of" you lean over to her and kiss her cheek. "but what if I do something wrong, like.." she whispers and sighs. "I think you already know the answer sweetheart" Damian tries to calm her and hugs her, pulling her close to his chest.

"Okay but can we do something now?" you beg "I hate teasing you know that Damian!" you whisper-shout. Your two partners chuckle and this time Rhea picks you up and carries you to the bedroom where she let's you down on the bed. You take off your shirt and pants, revealing a pretty sexy set of lingerie.

"Oh damn" Damian says and whistles. He's standing in the door frame as he put the dishes away first. You grin and pull yourself into the middle of the big bed. Rhea, overwhelmed with the whole situation, just stands there awkwardly as Damian begins to take of his shirt.

"Come here Rhea baby" you say and hold your arms open for her. She hesitates a little but does as you say and snuggles close to you. You pull her on top until she's hovering above you. You cup her cheek, putting a stray strand of hair back behind her ear.

"I know you're afraid of failing, but first of there's nothing you could do wrong and second of all, I promise this is worth it" you whisper and kiss her. She hums into the kiss making you smile, it sounded almost like a moan. You feel Damian joining you two in bed, pulling Rhea off of you so she's only laying half on top of you. She doesn't break the kiss though. Priest then get's comfortable behind her, spooning her and carefuly trailing his hand up her body making her shiver.

You pull away from the kiss and Rhea lays flat on her back, looking at you and then Damian who's smiling at her. You lean on your elbows and bend over to her, whispering "no need to be scared" and kiss her again, more passionately this time. Damian slowly moves his hand up, but is stopped by Rhea who is still very insecure and not ready.

You cup her cheek and deepen the kiss, reassuring her enough to let Damian continue. He starts to play with her chest under her shirt and she moans into the kiss. You pull away again so your boyfriend could also have a turn and move yourself over to the nightstand while your partners are making out, and pull out a vibrator from the drawer.

Damian has removed Rhea's shirt and bra by now. She grew more and more confident with every second and let her hands move dangerously across Damian's body. He pins her down, dominating her again.

They exchange heated kisses and you can almost feel the knot building in your stomach just by watching them. You lean over to them and lightly drag the toy up from Rhea's bare abdomen to her breasts where you turn it on and listen to her whimpering.

She pushes Damian away to break the kiss and curses "fuck y/n don't tease me like that! I want you both, now!" "that's how I like my pretty girl" Damian praises and moves to unbutton Rhea's pants. She helps him, not wanting to wait any longer, and takes them off together with her panties to throw them off the bed.

You notice your girlfriend almost staring at the bump in your partners pants. You're sure, if she were to open her mouth drool would start dripping out. "You need to take off your pants baby" she breathes out but you push her back down on the bed and place the vibrator on her clit, turning it on without any warning.

"Oh fuck" she moans loudly. And you grin, it always turned you on so much, seeing a partner making faces from pleasure. "I- oh yes- y/nn" she cries out and sharply inhales as she feels Damian's hard cock against her entrance.

"Relax" he says in a deep, lust filled voice "I'll be careful!" and kisses her forehead. You see a single tear escaping from the corner of her eye as Damian slowly pushes into her. She exhales shakily and you cup her cheek and kiss her.

One of her arms wraps around your waist pulling you closer and the other ones takes the vibrator away from you. Your hand moves to the back of her neck, deepening the kiss. You both moan into the kiss as you hear Damian grunt. He's all the way inside his girlfriend now, giving her some time to adjust.

Since your hips are about three feet away from Rhea's body you try to turn on your tummy, Damian helps you by grabbing your waist with one hand and pulling it over. Your upper body now hovering over Rhea, her arm still around your back trying to get your bra open.

Your boyfriend takes the vibrator from her hand and begins to tease you with it. You didn't expect it and let out a surprised sound which quickly turns into moans. Damian also started to move inside of your girlfriend who seems to be very overwhelmed by the whole situation.

Her moans grow louder as Damian fucks her faster and harder and you decide to edge her even more by rubbing her clit. Rhea is now literally crying from pleasure, tears streaming down her face, hands clenched to the bedsheets.

"I can't take this any longer" she whines and pulls you down for a kiss. "Don't come until I say you can" Damian presses out through gritted teeth. You could tell by the look on his face that he was close too.

With a few more hard thrusts he gives Rhea permission and they both cum with a loud moan. Your boyfriend tries to keep himself from collapsing on his partners and you pull him down for a sloppy kiss.

"Shit" Rhea pants. They're both heavily breathing but you all knew this wasn't over yet. You once again let out a surprised moan as Damian turns the vibrator up to max level. Rhea pulls you in for another heated kiss as Damian pulls out of her, switching places so you were the one under him now.

"Come on Demi, we're not done" he smirks and Rhea sits up. They help you in a position, somewhere between laying and sitting. You notice Damian and Rhea exchanging eye contact and smirking before your girlfriend speaks up.

"From now on, whenever you speak to us, it's either Mommy or Daddy! You understand that?" she advises you. "Yes Mommy" you reply making them grin. Damian lifts one of his legs over your torse, kneeling in front of your face now.

Rhea spreads your legs and begins to kiss your tummy and lower abdomen. "You know what to do princess, suck it" the man's voice is so sexy and turning you on, you could cum just by listening to him speak.

"Yes daddy" you moan as Rhea bites down on one of your sweet spots. You use your hands to stroke him a few times before kissing the tip and swirling your tongue around it. Damian's breathing get's heavier again and as Rhea plays with your clit and teases your entrance you open your mouth to inhale deeply.

Your boyfriend uses the opportunity to grab you by the hair and force his dick into you. "Mmhm" you moan, drool dripping down your chin as you begin to pleasure him. Rhea finally pushing one finger into you and immediately hitting the right spot makes you gasp and Damian pushes further into you.

You gag and grab his hips for support as he fucks your face harder. Your girlfriend's tongue dancing around your clit, her fingers managing to always curl in the right spot, hitting your g-spot every single time.

"Ohh yess" Damian moans, his head falling back and his eyes fluttering close. He speeds up his thrusts in your mouth until he cums, filling you up all the way. "Don't forget to swallow, pretty" Rhea interrupts her work to chuckle.

Damian pulls out of you and strokes himself a few more times until he cums a third time on your tits and face. You have a hard time swallowing but manage to do it. As soon as you can speak again you moan for Rhea to not stop now as you were close yourself.

Rhea moaning against your pussy as Damian slaps her ass is everything you need to cum all over her fingers "ahh shit keep going mommy, keep going" you scream and end up squirting everywhere. "Good job baby" your boyfriend praises you as you pant heavily and kisses you.

"Damn" he says to Rhea "I've never been able to make him sqirt, you really must know which buttons to press" he smirks and Rhea smiles proudly. "Thank you mommy, thank you daddy" you say once your breathing steadied a little again.

"Everything for our princess" Damian says, kissing you again and getting up to get some towels from the bathroom to clean up. "You were right" Rhea whispers and curls up to your side, snuggling her head in the crook of your neck.

"This really was worth it! I don't think I've ever had sex that good". You smile at her words and wrap your arms around her, kissing her forehead. Damian returns and cleans everything up, before tossing the towels aside to your clothes and spooning Rhea again from behind.

You feel her smiling against your skin, knowing it's because she can feel her boyfriend's cock against her ass, just like you did many times before. You chuckle and Damian kisses her neck before pulling a blanket over the three of you. Damian snuggles closer as Rhea whispers "Thank you for this great night" and he wraps his arm around her waist.

---------------------------------------------------

Requested oneshot by @babybatlover, hope it's way you wanted it to be and you enjoy it and btw this the first time I wrote a disabled person

Requests are open!

[jesses-life-updates]

people tend to think trans people are special snowflakes who get pampered by society so here's being trans from the perspective of a transgender 14-year-old who has no adult support in his life. please boost this message to transphobes, it might not change their minds but it could at least make them consider the real children they're hurting.

• when I came out at 13 I was yelled at by my parents until I cried

• according to transphobes it's somehow my fault that I was born with a female body

• people at school ask me what my pronouns are as an insult and call me slurs and nobody does anything about it, not even teachers care

• I came out to these people I thought I could trust and their response was to push me out of their circle of friends and harass me, constantly calling me a lesbian even though I'm not even a girl

• life seems to have lost its colour and I can't remember the last time I felt actual strong emotions

• actual grown ass adults complain about trans people on the internet just for clout and argue with each other about whether or not we deserve rights, as if that isn't the most dehumanising shit

• I've been told that my feelings don't matter by a teacher at my school because "people in countries at war have it worse"

• the prime minister of my country was on national television spreading hate speech about my people and everyone is acting like he's a saint for it, completely ignoring the other bad things he's done for this country because "he hates trans people and that's good"

• I have to stand idly by while trans people my age are committing suicide and I am so scared I will end up adding to that statistic

• there's bad apples in every group of people and just because I'm trans I have to be grouped in with every bigoted/hateful trans person when I'm just trying to keep myself alive and I'm not bothering anyone

• I am too scared to bring up my queer identity around anyone because I don't want them to think I'm shoving it in their face, it might as well be a secret even though I've been out for over a year

• i sometimes forget that I'm not physically a boy but then it hits me again when I see how much taller/deep voiced my male peers are

• I had to resocialise myself as male and change so many things about my behaviour that it's constantly at the forefront of my mind

• my chest constantly feels tight, I can't breathe deeply, my breathing is shaky and I get random rib pains every few hours

• I'm told that my gender is a "protected characteristic" but adults are doing a piss poor job at protecting me, I feel like I'm in danger because of being queer

• people at school harassed me so much for being trans that I practically forced myself back into the closet by telling them I don't care what they refer to me as (I most definitely do care)

• my identity is so normal to me but it's not normal for anyone else, I'll be talking about a girl crush I have thinking what I'm saying is normal but someone chimes in with "oh are you a lesbian?" and it brings me back to the harsh reality that being queer isn't normal

• I used to feel so much pride as a queer kid but now I just hate everything about being queer and I wish so badly that I could be just like everyone else

• more and more laws are being put in place against my people and one day I might not even be able to get gender affirming treatment

• the chemical imbalance in my brain is considered a political stance rather than just a rare condition a group of people have that shouldn't be a big deal

• I, a 14 year old boy, am more mature about gender than ACTUAL GROWN ADULTS who go on PUBLIC TELEVISION TO COMPLAIN ABOUT ME WHEN I AM JUST TRYING TO EXIST IN PEACE

• I keep being hit with the realisation that I still need to wait four years just for the chance of merely beginning to transition, which will cost me thousands of pounds and probably take more than ten years to fully transition, whereas my peers are just handed it at birth

• trans people are seen by society as "annoying" and "shoving it down people's throats" and "looking for an excuse to be special" for some fucking reason

• I have to juggle all this shit with trying hard in school and balancing life, all while my brain is not even fully developed yet. my cognitive and emotional processing skills aren't even close to being developed but i have to deal with suicidal thoughts, media pushing the idea that I'm mentally ill, internalised transphobia, constant harassment, transphobia from almost every single person in my life, feeling like a fucking freak for a chemical imbalance in my brain, and yet I STILL have to deal with normal teenage things like feeling ugly or struggling in school, and further yet I CANT TALK TO A SINGLE ADULT ABOUT MY SITUATION BECAUSE NOBODY BELIEVES ME OR SUPPORTS ME

• the cherry on top: there is absolutely nothing I can do about my situation until I turn 18, my only option is to suck it up and deal with it until either get actual help or end up killing myself

if you're an adult who thinks trans people are groomers/snowflakes/annoying/criminal, think about how your actions are impacting youth who are just trying to stay alive. you are not protecting children by making us wait longer for treatment or shielding us from supportive outlets. grow the fuck up. you're an adult, act like it. find something else to do with your life than attack an astronomically small minority of people.

[gwaaaaar]

Black Butler racism (or just overall bigotry) is the funniest shit ever (no it isn't. It's awful) because. Black Butler somehow got better. And worse. Spoilers under the cut for Baldroys backstory btw.

Please try not to take this as an entirely anti-black butler sort of argument. I was thinking about this in passing and thought it was something worth discussing. So DON'T COME AT ME!!!

I'm gonna start off with the easiest and earliest examples of racism.

Soma and Agni-! Wow... so I'd argue in the beginning Soma was based off of, I wouldn't say harmless stereotypes, but stereotypes that weren't applied with malice. He's a prince with like. 26+ siblings so he never really had a chance for the throne.

The 26+ siblings is... an unfortunate common stereotype applied to brown people, more specifically muslim. Soma is from Bengal and depending on where, there could be a high muslim population. But Soma is hindu. Either way, it's not. Good. To portray brown people like this. Like having 20+ kids that is a bad look. Indians do have big families, I should know, but not to that extreme and it has weird implications. Also when Soma tells Mey Rin to strip because painting naked women is better... yikes

Here is the harmful part: his and Agni's worship of Ma Kali is treated as a joke. Like ohhh look at this scary demonic hindu goddess!!! Even sebastian is weirded out and he's a demon!!! LIKE WHAT THE FUCK. :/

BUT. but. This. PALES IN COMPARISON TO THE SINOPHOBIA. Holy shitttt Lau... oh my god he is like a stereotype from mf Tintin. The opium den and the Chinese girl in skimpy clothing is crazy (and the implied incest??? What is ran mao to him again??? Theyre like siblings right???)... It really fucking sucks that the way hes portrayed almost implies that Chinese people wanted the opium crisis rather than you know. Having it pushed onto them by the British . I can be upset about Soma all I want but damn... maybe indian people did get the good end of the stick.

And, it's weird right? It's weird how one minority that normally isn't treated seriously can escape with relatively minor stereotyping compared to. TO THE SHIT TON OF OPIUM. Of course there's a lot of historical things going on, but wow the sinophobia is nuts.

I do think the main problem is somewhat classism. Victims are treated brutes for retaliating. Like that one miniarc where indian immigrants were tying up British nobles that visited India because they were angry that they were used and tossed aside and can't go back home. Soma, one of the few indians treated with sympathy, is a prince. I WILL NEVER FORGIVE WHAT THEY DID TO MINA... she was rightfully upset. The caste system is a terrible thing and she wanted to escape that, and she's the bitch? She isn't gentle to Soma, but she's in the right.

Black Butler has evolved as a story significantly since the beginning and when I say it's kind of gotten better I mean, the characters have evolved so much they can no longer rely on stereotypes. We have to take Soma and Agni seriously, they are no longer just some funny foreigners. LAU DOESN'T EVEN DO OPIUM ANYMORE AFAIK... that was like 50% of his personality and she got rid of it lmao.

edit: i lied he still does opium its just that isnt his personality anymore.

And that's a good thing! They shouldn't have been portrayed in such ways in the beginning. Stereotyping is just objectively shit writing. But also yeah shitty thing to do to minorities.

I think one of the most beautiful cultural references made later on is post Agni's death, when Soma has had enough and finally snaps. The panel that says "he has gone down the path of Maa Kali" is so poetic and my roman empire . It's a good reference back to the deity they worship, but instead of her being treated as something to ridicule or be scared of, it shows how Soma's personality, and background has lead him to who he is today. I think it's beautiful! I'm happy Soma is in the story because of that.

The same can be said about the slight transphobia with Grell in the beginning. NOW I know in the beginning, there wasn't a particular word for trans women or people in general so a word referring to effeminate/gay men or crossdressers was used. This isn't about that, language changes etc etc. Its moreso how she was portrayed as like, a sicko serial killer. Like yk, negative trans stereotypes. But over time she was recognized as a woman and gets to be her own character. Which is awesome! It's good that shes been viewed more postively over time.

Now... here's where things might be getting worse.

Baldroys backstory pisses me off. The idea that native americans were like ravaging his hometown and killed his innocent family. He even says something like how he knows their land got stolen so their reaction was probably justified but he doesn't care. It just. It just feels like siding with the colonizers you know? Like perpetuating these stereotypes to give people a reason to be "afraid". I know conflict was pretty rampant back then but there's just certain things people should be careful with when portraying... and I don't think Black Butler did a good job. I was really surprised to see that it was from a recent chapter bc it honestly read like something from the older ones.

AT LEAST we finally got a black grim reaper wooo mama

[piffany666]

Ok just one more punk progeny won't hurt~

Chapter 1: the give away

(Bright eyes is ftm trans in this but not all of the other characters know this so they use he/they when referring to him) tanker and Lovely use they/them pronouns (this is the same in all of my fics)

To put it simply Vincent honestly didn't understand what the big deal was.

Yes, Sam had confided in him about the way Bright eyes acted out and how the whole "wonder world incident III" was Bright's fault but giving Bright away to William? Seemed a bit...drastic. However Vincent had never seen how bad the arguments got, how Bright would act like a 'rebellious teen on steroids' and how Sam would scare himself sh*tless realising who he was beginning to sound like...his parents.

Vincent only ever heard Sam's side of the story and Bright wasn't big on talking to well...anyone other than Sam, when they were arguing, Fred, when he was telling him to get out of his room and Tanker when they would hang out.

Not to mention this was William's idea.

Vincent was the first person William had told about this. Will's plan was to run it by Vincent to get his advice, then ask Bright if he wanted to, then ask for Sam's consent. In any case, Vincent thought that the idea was a little on the extreme side but he could see some good coming out of it.

He wandered through the halls of the solaire household as he thought about all this and eventually found himself back in one of the common rooms, where he left lovely. He smiled to himself and walked over to them.

"Hey lovely" Lovely's head perked up at the sound of his voice

"Oh! Hey Vincent" the meeting with William wasn't particularly long but the two embrace nonetheless

"How did it go?" Asked Lovely. Neither of them knew what the meeting was going to be about, Vincent was just notified that William wanted to "discuss a potential proposal and wanted his opinion".

But now that Vincent knew what William's "proposal" was, he of course planned on telling Lovely.

"It went alright I mean, it was....unexpected" Lovely gave him a look of curiosity. Vincent sat next to them and instinctively put his arm around them.

"So what WAS the meeting about?" Vincent hesitated for a moment due to him worrying that gossiping about something like this while IN the solaire house might not be a good idea but then brushed the thought aside, he was pretty sure Alexis was out, Fred was at Sam's and he hadn't seen Bright.

"Welll~ you've met Bright eyes right?" Lovely thought for a moment then gave a nodd.

"Uh huh, yeah we've brushed shoulders once or twice, he's Sam's progeny right?" Vincent gave a blunt laugh at that last comment.

"Ha! No no he's FRED'S progeny (who is Sam's progeny)"

"Oooohh sorry, its just from what little I've heard of them they just seemed like there both being taken care of by Sam right?"

"Yeah but that's only because Fred can't exactly take care of or teach Bright to be a vampire right?" Vincent replied. Lovely understood.

"Ah ok I get it. What about them?" Vincent gave one more look into the hallway just to check that no one else was listening, he saw no one so he continued.

"OK so you know that Bright is being 'taken care of' by Sam right?" He continued without Lovely having to answer "buuut Sam and Bright have an extremely...rocky relationship, with Sam initially blaming the whole wonder world III incident on Bright and them not apologising to Fred. So they tend to argue a lot. Sam tells me a little about these arguments but only after they both have calmed down." Lovely nodded to show they were paying attention.

"I guess they've gotten worse tho....? Cos now William wants to step in. And by 'step in' I mean

Hes gonna ask Sam if he can take Bright off his hands and make him HIS progeny"

Lovely's jaw dropped "wow, do you think he will?"

"Sam, accept the offer? Hmm hard to say, but if I had to guess...yeah probably. Sam means well and I'm sure Bright dose too but right now I think it's all too much for both of them to handle. Besides we both know William has his way with 'trobled vampire youth'" Lovely giggled.

"Oh you should have seen his face! He wants another punk-ass progeny so bad!" Vincent and Lovely both began laughing.

But while they laughed, unknown to them, another held back furious, burning tears. Bright had been listening.

When Vincent went to look in the hallway to see if somone was there, he ducked out of the way of the open doorway and remained hidden but he heard the whole thing...

Without being heard by the two, he stormed to the guest room he had been given and slammed the door. A moment of silence momentarily drowned the room, then he scrunched up his fist to the point where he swore he felt blood dripping out of his hand and he punched the wall of his bedroom so hard, a crack that resembled lightning could be heard reverberating around the mannor.

He couldn't tell if the crack came from the wall or his knuckles but he didn't care either way.

He hated this, this feeling, this situation, everything. The thing that he had hated from the very beginning was the way Sam made him feel like a child again. And now that feeling was more overwhelming than ever, because he was being given away...again.

Of course Sam was going to accept the offer, he had hated Bright from the very start! All these thoughts screamed at him as his fist slid down the wall he had hit, along with his body.

He fell to the floor and leaned his forehead against the wall for a long while.

Maybe having William as a mentor wouldn't be so bad, at least him offering ment he gave even a little bit of a sh*t about him. Still...he didn't like the feeling of being given away without being able to do anything about it.

After this thought crossed his mind he got up, whipped his face and walked out of his room...and ran towards William's office.

(Thanks to @darlin-collins for giving me the idea and proof reading for me again 🧡💙)

[syoddeye]

hi. this got long, i'm sorry. you don't know me, i'm a lurker and usually i only reblog fic. i ocassionally write authors but not a lot so here it goes. i read reminiscent because i love reading a/b/o and as an asexual/aromantic transman i was interested how you would combine a/b/o and asexuality. i saw that y/n was soap's sister and that the story takes place after he dies, but i wasn't prepared to be eviscerated. i say that in friendly manner lol (:

as an asexual and aromantic person, one of my biggest fears is being left behind or alone. since i came out as trans i only talk to my sister so that fear is times ten with her. reading the story i felt that for y/n and simon. in the beginning i noticed it right away when simon tries to look at soap in the van but remembers he's dead and when y/n thinks about him at the funeral.

i am scared of ending up alone because of who i am but reading how simon and y/n live together and warm up to each other gives me some hope i will find someone or people who won't leave me or will come back for me. thank you for writing it. i hope you write more a/b/o for cod.

🧡 howdy! sorry for the delay!

so first, don't apologize for sending a longer ask and it's totally cool if you just lurk. as long as your age is in your bio and your blog isn't completely blank, i don't mind. i'm always floored when people send or leave comments like this.

asexuality and sex ramblings under the cut.

not gonna lie, i got a little teary eyed reading this at work. reminiscent was hard to write for a few reasons, but getting feedback like this makes all that worrying worth it.

the fear of being left behind is such a huge thing. i can't speak to the aromantic experience, but i am asexual.

in my 20s, even in my current relationship (which is the most solid and safe relationship i've ever had), i was constantly afraid of being dumped. i'd date people and wait to tell them i wasn't actually into physical touch or sex because i was so desperate for companionship. and like, that fear is valid, because i would tell them, and they'd either dump me or let it fizzle out. which obviously sucks! it contributes to that fear and feeling of 'brokenness' because you're not into this one thing that's a major deal breaker for folks.

while my current relationship with sex is complicated (and not something i will go into depth here), i wanted to write a reader whose relationship to sex reflected how i felt in my 20s: zero percent interested, and somewhat repulsed. which to be abundantly clear - there is nothing wrong with that.

but combining that particular ~flavor~ of asexuality with a dystopian lite omegaverse was hard, because anyway you look at it, asexuality is not going to be a Thing that's respected—it's going to be seen as undesirable, especially with an omega. but. it's also the story i wanted to tell. i wanted to self-flagellate a little, because i wanted a story where, even when you're considered broken or a misfit or, more harshly, a waste, you can still find your people or person. like-to-like sort of thing. sometimes your life doesn't look like how you thought it would look, and sometimes your person isn't who you thought they would be.

and i think that is true in the real world, too. it might take more time and effort than you thought, but i believe finding your people is a worthwhile process. it's also not a one-and-done thing—i am +30, and i've 'found' my people several times over. i hope that you do not give up hope. 🫂

i dunno if i'll write omegaverse again anytime soon, but never say never. thanks for popping in! 💐

[kursedmayo]

I have come to ask you about your OC's, I saw one around Simp's page and I am curious✨

-Chaotic

UHHHH oh lord. Uhh well I don't really make many OCs these days.... However if you've come to ask about Iyani though well!!

They're a yandere Donnie simp. Man I dunno what to tell you bro.

Let me just summarize them:

Their family is filthy rich. No one believes then when they tell people they are

Nobody knows what their gender is. They always give noncommittal answers when asked so they're just ???

They could be trans, cis, nonbinary or whatever and no one could be the wiser. Doesn't help that they use all pronouns either so yeah

They're pansexual and demisexual. When you're as desperate and as much of a hopeless romantic as Iyani you can't afford to be picky really (/lh)

They look like a gremlin and act like it

They would eat a random hot dog off the ground if you let them

However, their whole look is actually still actually quite pricy

Sure their long hair is messy as hell and they dress like they're homeless. But they smell really good (suprisingly) and their clothes are all made of high end fabrics and their shoes are worn down but Dior so who's really the loser here?

They're also a nervous wreck.

They're pretty anxious when it comes to socializing with people and it shows, despite it they actually like meeting new people and getting new friends

Somewhere down the line they're being forced to share Donnie with another Yandere (Simp's OC, Silas) because if they kill each other, Donnie will be sad (It's a draw)

They're basically only "yandere" in name. They have quite a few traits that doesn't fall into the conventional traits of a yandere so I'm begining to hesitate calling them one

Putting the rest of below the cut!! It's basically the gist of how they met and stuff. :3

—

What's their history with Donnie?

Their first meeting was in college, when Donnie's crusty 4 ass saw them trip and scatter stuff like some sort of anime girl because they were lithe and were struggling carrying their thick college books and papers.

He looked haggard as hell while he was picking their stuff up to help. When he said "Are you okay?" he sounded like he's been chain-smoking for 35 years and counting, but Iyani was MESMERIZED

Bro was seeing flowers and sparkles framing his handsome face. His voice sounded like Chopins Ass Kicking Sinatra #75 (jk) and everything.

At first they were shy and distant while they were trying to befriend him

They had a small crush on him now and it was apparent to literally everyone but him

They were incredibly blunt and told him they thought he was cool so they wanted to ask to be friends if it was okay with him?

Donnie thought that was kinda cute and flattering (though he had a bit of doubt if that was their true intentions) so he decided to get to know each other

And over the course of a few months it became a really good friendship. They had a suprising lot in common (with a few disagreements here and there ofc)

But when they became closer they also got a bit more... Weird

They were starting to get a lot more unhinged, which was fine, it was funny anyways

Then they became unhinged in a not so funny way

They became a lot more vocal about their adoration for him. They used to mask it with a joking tone but now they made sure he KNEW they weren't kidding

They would be in his personal bubble more often. They're kind of scared to touch him because they know he has Autism and don't want to breach his boundaries but at the same time they didn't realize that always standing too close to him would still often make him uncomfortable

They would steal his clothes and sometimes replace it with theirs. It would have been normal friends shenanigans if they weren't doing it just to use his hoodies as their pillow cases so they could sleep better at night

They were also gift him so much stuff, up to the point it's overwhelming. Like they would gift him random items that would be worth a person's net salary and not bat an eye. They're rich after all.

They would text him relentlessly and was generally needy as hell

Donnie is the type to like being equals with someone and being the giver in the relationship

Him being pamphering this much and the fact that he often can't give gifts with the same monetary value feels off to him

Since he wasn't really being firm and telling them no, they took that as a silent consent and it got even worse because they began to break even more boundaries

Tracking him, stealing his stuff just to frame them in their room, getting a lot more touchy when they're allowed to, snapping at people and generally being overprotective

In summary, they're addicted to him. They're insane. But somehow they have never made an actual move to try and date him

Now Donnie's confused as hell because he didn't know what to do

He still considers them his friend. They really like each other but they're being WEIRD and he hated it

He didn't wanna leave them but he also did not want to be around them 24/7

When they nearly hurt someone out of jealousy (she was asking him if he could tutor them) that was when he snapped

Shouted at them and such, told them about how fed up he was at them being so damn clingy like they were together and invading his personal space constantly and generally being a bad friend

He also finally mustered up the courage and turned them down and confirmed he had no romantic feelings for them

They were so grief stricken for a while and even went MIA for a week

But then suddenly popped up in their classes again as if nothing happened

And they're still acting the same, affectionate and overwhelming but slightly a lot less than before

When Donnie finally snapped and asked them where the hell they've been they just said they've been doing some thinking

And pondering

And they concluded

They figured that while he doesn't have feelings for them, that didn't kill their feelings for him either

So they asked him quietly if he could just... Let them express themselves at least.

So Donnie was like "What... What do you mean?"

And they said they wanted to still express their adoration. They still want to shower him with gifts and such but he doesn't have to reciprocate

Because in the first place, they had didnt even expect him to

Sure, they hoped he would like them back, they really really hoped he did. They wanted to pretend it meant he liked them back when he gave back gifts or hesitantly reciprocated on physical or verbal closeness

But they knew. Even in their delusional state they had moments of clarity and they knew he didn't like them back in the way they wanted

So now they're just... Crying to him. They want to still love him, even if he's taken away by someone else (aka gets into a romantic relationship with someone else)

They promised to be better, they promised they'll try their best not to be so overly affectionate and to lose their feelings along the line, and to stop invading his privacy

They also apologized for being so protective

But they also begged him to let them keep loving him, even if they knew he didn't love them back

And Donnie, not knowing what else to do, they just... Scolded them for all the weird shit they did but ultimately just... Let them be

Literally everyone in his family started cringing when they heard how it all went down and everyone advised him to start on cutting connection to Iyani but it's not that simple!!

He LIKES them even though they were getting weird. No not romantic like but still.

Even if they used to be somewhat of a creep they were also getting better now than before and making good progress so he didn't want to just leave while they were

Despite everything he still considers them a friend... It was a bad idea for sure but uhhh yknow??

It was hard to leave them after everything they went through together

It was only after a certain accident that he begins to rethink his decisions...

It's a cliffhanger <33

I'll delve into what happens next in another post eventually but that's generally how their relationship went for a while. They're quite the odd pair don't you think?

[uncanny-tranny]

Hello :) I've followed you for a long time now, and before I start I just wanted to say that it's an absolute pleasure every time you are on my dash. You made me feel much less alone as a confused teen.

Now onto my sorta question/problem. I've known that I am trans since I was 14. Of course, there have been ups and downs, moments where I am less sure of myself, but I always come back to it. Since cutting my hair and presenting mostly masculine, I've never wanted to go back. I'm 18 now and just finished my first semester of college. I had originally planned to come out to my mom sometime between the 3 days of her dropping me off at college and classes beginning. Instead, I woke up the first day after she dropped me off absolutely petrified to tell her, and wasn't able to calm down until I decided to hold off until later. But now that I've finished my first semester, I still feel very unsure. She's not liberal, but not outwardly conservative either. It's more under the surface. Definitely does not understand/fully respect trans people. Her relatives are much worse and openly transphobic/homophobic. I'm incredibly close to her, she's really the only family I feel loves and respects me. I'm just so scared that coming out will ruin our relationship. Like if she rejects me, I'm worried I'll like implode or something. But dysphoria has been getting worse, I feel like I can't really put myself out there at college because I'm using the wrong name and being gendered incorrectly. It's why I've barely made any friends, and haven't had any sort of romantic prospects. I constantly find myself wishing I had a button that would have made me born male just so I don't have to gamble my relationship with her to be myself. I don't really have much of a question, just kind of wanted to get it off my chest to another trans person because I unfortunately don't have many of those in my life.

I'm going to preface this by saying that I was in a very similar situation as you are when I was a bit younger. My family is also the same way, but they're very religious and conservative. I prioritized my relationship with my dad, so despite most of my family being judgemental to this day, I personally don't care about them much if this is the straw that breaks their back.

When I came out to my dad, he was definitely in the same place it seems you mother is in. He didn't understand much of anything, and I was really scared to come out to him for the same reasons you did. I told him in-person, but I also wrote many letters, because I found that it's much easier when you're able to edit what you say before you say it. He's absolutely not been a perfect supportive parent, and it took years of conversation before he could get to where he is now.

I think what I'm getting at is that our parents also mature. My dad seven years ago is not the same person he was. He's matured a lot since I've come out and I've grown on my own, but he's also matured since my brothers have grown, too. I can't predict what your mother is like, but I hope she is willing to grow with you. The beautiful thing about transition is that it doesn't just affect you; you aren't the only person who grows and changes. The people around you also tend to grow and change when they see just how much you blossom.

So I hope she allows herself to grow with you. You are her child, yes, but you are also a person, and it's so beautiful to see people grow and change and develop. I know this whole process is truly daunting. I have no idea how I even had the ability to come out. But I also know just how much a relationship can flourish after, even if there are major bumps or heartaches at first.

[feltmasterskinface]

I don't know what how to heal this. I wish I could talk to someone about caedsexuality. Preferably a therapist who specializes in CPSTD and sexual relationships. I just can't give myself to him the way he gives himself to me. He craves physical intimacy. Physical intimacy triggers my trauma. I've worked a couple things out; I've realized that I'm okay with cuddling, physical caressing but only in private, and hugging. The things that trigger my trauma are when he grinds his privates on me; this usually happens when I'm awake but trying to sleep. In the dark too, another trigger. It triggers me when he isn't saying anything to me, but is trying to put his hand down my pants. I don't like even kissing especially when he doesn't ask first to kiss me or begins to engage in foreplay. He shows that he cares through physical intimacy and there's nothing wrong about that, but I cannot reciprocate. He says that these boundaries don't bother him, but I know he feels a little frustrated about it. He just won't say it. And that hurts me because I do the same thing. I want to please him and the best way, the way he most enjoys is sex. He won't let me go though, ive tried 3 times now to break up with him but he sucks back into the same loop. He says he can make that adjustment so im comfortable. But now he's neglecting his sexual appetite to make me happy. What straight sexually active man would want a girlfriend that doesn't want to have sex with him, like ever? Doesn't even want to make out really either. Im not going to make someone pretend to be someone they're not. Sex was taken from me at a delicate age. I was between 5-8 years old. I was too young to start thinking about sex and sexual identity. What 6 year old is ready to talk about sexual intimacy? Not gender (like being Trans or non binary) but sexual identity (like lesbian, gay, bi, straight, pan etc...). Not only that; what 6 year old can talk about their sexual attraction to someone but have the sexual awareness to comprehend the concept of sex acts and how they are a more mature way to show your attraction and affection to another person? After the abuse I just remember feeling very uncomfortable around the scenarios of when people try to flirt with me, date me, to have sex with me (which didn't really start happening until around 25 years old). It scares me. I don't want anyone to even touch me really. Sometimes I feel nausea start to build in the back of my throat. Most of the time when I'm having sex all I feel is the friction and chaffing, stretching of skin and anxiety about how I'm supposed to feel about it. I'm usually dry too. I can't keep doing this. I want it all to stop. I wish I could go back in time and tell someone sooner. It's deep. It's too deep in me now. My abuse altered my cognative development and introduction to sexual attraction and arousal. Sex is bad to me. It means fear to me. And I've never really seen sex any differently since then. Sex means conflict, sex means someone is going to touch me, sex means someone is going to kiss you, sex means something bad is going to happen to me. I can never get that back. It was taken from me before I even knew I had it. Can't miss what you never had I guess.

[winterswrandomness]

8, 15 and 16! :]

!!!!! (arospec ask game)

I don't have much in the way of characters from media that I like who I know are aro. BUT. I can absolutely talk about my OCs, and will for Q: 16

15. what are some things you associate with arospec identities? i.e. frogs, arrows, white rings, anything the color green, etc.

LOVE arrows and white rings. hmmmm- I'm not entirely sure honestly. maybe clovers, both the little leafy things and the white flowers! also king cobra snakes, cause of this post!

for my personal identity but not aromanticism in general, is a whole other topic. strawberries, lemonade, playing cards, and a handful of other things I can't think of! also clams

16. do you have any arospec OCs, if so tell us about them?

YEAHHHHHHH

to start, we have one of my faeries, Del! he's aromantic, then somewhere between greyace and allo. he likes to dance and sing and he's like 2 feet tall, and he's from the feywilds (which I have a hand in making for the game he's in!!)

then we technically have my little guy, rolevander! she's a sona, uses alllll the pronouns, and is indeed aromantic by proxy of me being aromantic! I love xem so much. please understand how much I utterly adore ein. cae can shapeshift, float, fly while having wings, size change, and! most importantly. it can KILL!!!!

let's see let's see. jam and salsa!!! world's weirdest friends. jam is one of my guys from stardew, while salsa is my girl from terraria! they're technically the same person. and they are best friends!!! jam is a trans guy/masc leaning gender neutral, while salsa is a transfem with a STARRY SWORD!!!! she summons pink stars from the sky to kill while jam peacefully farms crops and goes mining

here's two pictures of them

[ID 1: Salsa leaning down to look at a cat in Jam's arms. Salsa is a tall woman in a torn up wedding dress and veil. She has a bird's nest on her head, a cloud in a jar on a belt, boots with wings, and her hair is a messy bob. Jam is shorter by about half a head, holding a cat that sniffs one of his hands. He's wearing overalls, a t-shirt, bandana, boots, and his hair goes past his shoulders. End ID 1

ID 2: Jam and Salsa holding hands. Jam is still in the overalls, tee, bandana, and boots. He has his other hand on his hip. Salsa has changed to wear a tank top, off the shoulders sweater, pair of shorts, and low heels. Her free arm is out, as if to begin guiding Jam somewhere. /End ID 2]

Salsa stole the wedding gown and veil from a zombie she killed

also the cat is Jam's cat, Peanut Buttt! (triple T included)

I imagine they're both kind of silly! Salsa does a double take whenever Jam cuts his hair or ties it up, then pretends to sob over how it isn't loose anymore. while Jam gets scared by the random lady on his farm whenever Salsa is wearing anything other than the dead woman's dress

right! yeah! salsa is demiaro while jam is unlabelled lovedrained (word I use for myself) and are both relationship anarchists

and that's my special variation and woes of aromanticism! I do love the idea of exploring those more romantic sorts of scenarios and thoughts, like, yknow. Being In Love. but I just can't do it and that's chill! I got to make a fun word for myself :]

[intimate-reaper]

I'm happy with the progress I've made last night during drunk therapy with my boyfriend.

(Problematic language but, we're literally learning, so don't expect mentally ill people to have it figured out right away /lh)

• I was forcing myself to be attracted to women even though I'm not.

"But I've been attracted to trans women before learning they were women and then lost interest." -- So you lost interest once you learned they were women? You aren't attracted to women.

• This stems from me coming out to my mom as a gay trans man at 11, but she demanded that staying a straight woman would just be easier. I really wanted to just Have An Easier Time with all the stress I had at the time.

"What if I just project my dysphoria onto cis women, so I can't tell if I'm attracted or not?" -- I've had some exceptions for women but all of these women are boyish or remind me of my boyfriend, and I find them pretty without necessarily being aroused by them.

• Then online I internalized the t*rf idea that I was fetishizing gay men which was homophobic of me if I identified as gay. I could not be Gay Man Enough.

• I may have been using hentai compulsively to try to find the specific exceptions of women I am attracted to. When I look at mlm content I feel less gross/"post nut clarity". (Also, the entire concept of post nut clarity is messed up - if you're ashamed and depressed after, you need to evaluate what you're doing to begin with because you shouldn't feel bad after doing it??)

• I am ashamed of myself for having dysphoria at my core because it feels misogynistic to hate a female body this much, even though it is my own and I don't see other afabs as any sort of negative for their bodies.

• I don't want to take T because I'm not thin enough and I don't want to be a fat, creepy "Discord mod" and bullied. I don't have this concept for fat women, which I view positively. But I'm scared of socially being perceived as a fat man myself even though I've been attracted to bigger men.

• I have sexual fantasies that I don't necessarily think would be beneficial or enjoyable, but I don't know if I need to fix those. The main one being something that, at its core, could be a self esteem issue re: deserving intimacy, but I don't know how to approach: build esteem so I feel deserving, avoid engaging with the fantasy (has it been making me feel worse subconsciously?), somehow make the fantasy less "mean" to myself, etc?

• I rely on hentai a lot for masturbation and have issues with sex, because I feel like I'm objectifying my boyfriend by even being attracted to him, so I'm basically mind raping him. I would rather project that onto fictional characters however I cannot even watch photographic content because the thought of other real people being sexual isn't really appealing. It's easier to dissociate with artwork, but I still hold a lot of guilt by being "so" attracted to my boyfriend.

• Every time I've been with someone I find physically attractive, I have not been able to have a close, emotional bond with this person. I've only had causal sexual relationships. This enforced the idea that I have either or: someone is hot, so they do hot things, but they're not invested in me psychologically and in lifestyle which would make me feel more comfortable with the sexual experiences I would have. I've had parasocial/one sided feelings for hookups which I loathed the cycle of but felt pressured to continue because I didn't feel deserving of romance. I also am still concerned it makes me a sex negative prude if I'm not able to make myself perform sexually for others that haven't given me enough bonding depth. Again it's easier to use ai or art for this because it doesn't remind me it's a person.

• Like, I'm scared that I'm just "not really in love" with my boyfriend because he's hot. I started crying because I wasn't pansexual and I wanted to be pansexual so I could experience true love, not just using someone for their body. I have this idea that I can only truly love someone (care about them, want to spend my life with them, etc.) if I am pansexual.

[puppygirlsounding]

So it's been over a month now.

I'm pre-typing this. Going to drop this in your dms. I don't expect a response, and I'll take the hint and leave it at this if you don't respond.

I bet you still use your Tumblr, no idea if you still follow me because my list has been bugged for the better part of a decade. So If you saw some of my posts I'll be rehashing some things.

Long story short, Forced myself to be alone and completely lock away my emotions. I got so tired of it all I completely shut shop. Normally this would be the part where I'd admit how stupid and/or careless that was towards myself, my mental well-being, etc.

Except that it worked out somehow.

I still can't believe it myself, but it was like being compressed down into a new state of matter. Hitting rock bottom and realizing there was nowhere else to push the feelings, no one else to blame or use as a distraction. It made me finally come face to face with my self. My true, inner self and not the facade I've kept up for my entire life. A life of repression, anxiety and unmitigated hatred.

I spent 20 years basically trying to be anybody but myself because a handful of shitty people made me think it was a crime to exist. All of what I had been for the entire time you known me has been that pared down, sink water version. Too afraid of their own shadow judging them to be themselves.

And this isn't some "I totally re-invented myself nothing is wrong anymore lmao" level brainrot

I was still myself before, just incredibly neutered, and I chose to be that way for so much longer than I should have.

I still take responsibility for every way I acted and anything I've done

I'm finally able to say all this without it being run through a morass of epic irony or depression

I got to see myself for the first time, and show love inward so I can begin to regrow what was lost

So the past month has been crazy because of it, not hating every day you wake up sure does make time pass differently, it's felt like forever since we stopped talking, to the point I did a double take when looking at our dms

On a short list of notables, I came out to my coworkers as trans/bigender/genderfluid

Still.... Figuring that one out.

But my boss and trans friend coworker know, I have a support network for the first time.

I already naired all the hair off my arms once, and started displaying more femininity, as much as I can for now.

And I've stopped having my meltdowns and panic attacks.

I'm still as sensitive as ever, that is one of the things definitely still a part of me, it's just not being exacerbated by a roiling sea of vitriol tucked underneath the surface anymore.

So yeah, I'm not out here saying I'm some "completely new person" or something like that, but I am an incredibly different version of the Hunter you knew.

Which brings us to the topic at hand, and why despite all this positive change I haven't been able to bring myself to talk.

I'm scared

I'm scared I'm scared I'm scared.

Yes I felt the need to say it four times.

After learning to distance myself, resulting in finding myself. I realized a few days ago why I couldn't reach out to you like I had planned. At first I tricked myself into thinking I was mad. Made you out to be the problem in my head, because I didn't want to acknowledge I was being a coward. Because it hurts to look at flaws carved that deep right after coming out into the sun for the first time.

There are a lot of things that were said between us, I said some awful garbage. You said some things I want to believe we're in good faith, you trying look out for my best interests.

The fact of the matter is though, I lost it and lashed out because I was too afraid to address my real feelings and tell you how much you were hurting me unintentionally.

Doesn't excuse me trying to hurt you, but I'd I don't explain it this way I'll never be able to finish so just hang in there with me please.

So after all that, and the self discovery I was feeling great, cloud nine sublime.

But I still couldn't get over how we left off. Despite not being able to address it.

Because I learned the reason why socializing was so easy for me before was the fact that my love starved brain was primed to leap into the arms of anyone that would give it validation.

Now though, with the ability to self-actualize, love, and support my own mind... The thought of reaching out petrified me.

I'm finally learned how to not be a walking pipe bomb of human emotions after 25 years, but now the exact opposite was the issue.

I put distance between myself and everyone around me because the thought of putting myself back out into the world, and risking the little seedbed I had started was too much to handle.

So I'm telling you now, I'm scared. I'm afraid to even send this, and despite having my anxiety under control now, I'm still mortified about sending you this. Because I don't want to relapse, I don't want to go back. I'm starting over completely from scratch with my social skills almost, even the ones I can still use all have to acclimate to my new perspective.

The one where a potential friendship isn't all upsides, where I have to think about protecting myself first.

I still consider you the closest a person has ever come to really understanding me, and that means more than I could ever illustrate with words.

I've spent my whole life looking for it, and I don't want it to be a pipe dream.

I want you to be a part of my life as long as possible. I don't know if you could ever feel the same, but I'd spend an eternity with you if we could get us figured out.

That's it. Enjoy the novella. I'm going to go drown myself in chores now to try and feel better.