#banter prompts

[forestryprompts]

Character A: You know, for someone so clever, you have an uncanny ability to always get us into trouble.

Character B: Trouble finds us, my dear, and I simply offer it a seat.

Character A: Maybe next time, offer it a cup of tea and a polite exit strategy.

Character B: Ah, but where's the fun in that? Besides, trouble has terrible taste in tea.

Character A: I can't decide if your audacity is infuriating or endearing.

Character B: Why not both? Keeps things interesting.

[delusionisaplace]

can you pls write some banter prompts <33

ofc!! and thanks for the ask :)))

𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙛𝙪𝙡 𝙗𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙩𝙨:

have fun with these | tag me if you use any | if yall want more prompts like this, jus drop an ask

“Do you trust me?” “Yeah, but I feel like I shouldn’t?”

“If you were a movie, you would be a comedy.” “Aww, because I make you laugh?” “No, because you’re ridiculously stupid.”

“You’re like a good book: I can’t seem to put you down.” “You know how to read?”

“Did you steal my fries?” “No, I just borrowed them indefinitely.”

“You’re a clown.”

“You’re the most unique person I’ve ever met.” “Unique is just a nice way to say weird.”

"You're like a puzzle I can't solve." "Oh, so I'm a brain teaser now?" "More like a never-ending Sudoku."

“You love my cooking, right?” “It’s like an arduous adventure for the taste buds.”

“I’ll pay you to leave me alone.” “I thought you said I was priceless to you?”

“You’re just like cotton candy—full of hot air.”

“Are you sure you aren’t missing a few brain cells?” “Of course not!”

“When we’re together, it’s like WiFi: a strong connection.” “It’s more like 3G data, but alright.”

[jasminesfury]

messy chaotic ‘we’re terrible for each other but can’t keep our hands off each other’ prompts

oh hello i am in fact alive

“do you ever actually think before speaking? like is your brain capable of processing a thought??” “yeah, it’s just immune to idiotic ones”

“take that back” “prove me wrong” (or; a cliché ‘make me’)

being in some sort of intense slightly pointless staring match (after an argument, preferably) and just saying “oh fuck it who cares” and pulling their neck down to kiss them

“do you the sex would be boring if we didn’t argue before it every time?” “i mean, we could always argue during”

^or, alt: doing it once when you’re not arguing instead kinda tipsy but not drunk, and it’s all giggles and laughter and sweet nothings and the next morning being like “oh fuck i actually like them”

“why does everything with you have to be so difficult!?” “it’s fun getting you all riled up”

“oh, if i had known that’s all it would take for you to shut up i would’ve done this ages ag-“ “only finish that sentence if you have a death wish”

“you’re doing it wrong” “jesus, would you just relax” “no because i’m wasting my tim- oh, oh my god-” the other character smirking, “don’t look so smug” “i think i’ve earned the right, now just trust me, okay? believe it or not, i want to make you feel good”

“so you’ll finally stop being an asshole and just sign the document?” “keep doing this and i’ll sell you my house”

getting jealous and the other character pretending that it’s unreasonable, but secretly character A is the only one they feel a spark with. the only one they feel excited to be around

“we should probably stop this” “yeah” … “we’re not going to though, right?” “oh absolutely not”

“nope no nada, no using sex to get me to do things you want, it’s not going to work anymore”

“you really are a fucking asshole aren’t you?” “yes, i believe that’s what’s on my resume”

“i hate you” “i know” “and that won’t change” “i know” “and you’re still okay with this?” no “yes”

“imagine a universe where we didn’t hate each other, that would be so-“ “boring?” “yeah! like imagine not bickering over tiny things, that’s no fun”

“she says we bicker like an old married couple”

talking with a friend; “you shouldn’t go there” “i know” “and you shouldn’t sleep with them” “i know” “it’s a bad idea” “i know” “well. will you?” “..yeah”

“i know we’re terrible for each other but every time i look at them it’s just like my brain flies out the window and my hormones take over”

“we’re broken up, it’s just two friends going out for drinks, okay?” ending up in one’s bed, but alright

“did you sleep together?” “noooo, i just-“ “tripped on a stone and accidentally dailed his number which magically led to you two meeting at a pub and you just magically teleported to your bedroom without your clothes on? yeah, thought so”

[unboundprompts]

Can you do dialogue prompts for inside jokes? Thanks sm in advance!!

Dialogue for Inside Jokes

-> feel free to edit as you see fit.

"Do you know what that reminds me of?"

"If you mention it one more time, I swear."

"I'm going to die if you say one more thing about it."

"You know what else is [color]?"

*raises eyebrows*

"Guess what?" "Don't say it."

"We agreed to never mention it again!"

*wheezing laughter*

"If anyone knew what we were talking about they'd think we're crazy." (crazy? I was crazy once...)

"My stomach hurts from laughing-- oh my god-- we have to stop bringing this up."

"Guess what I'm thinking of?"

*sly smiles*

"Stop talking about it someone's coming."

"It's an inside joke, you wouldn't understand."

"I don't get it."

"Why is the word porcupine so funny to you guys?"

"What are you two dying over?"

"What's so funny?"

"I'm so confused."

"I'm not even going to ask."

[mediumgayitalian]

“I had a dream about you last night.”

“Oh, did you.” Will grins at him over his shoulder, up to his elbows in blood and fluids.

Nico kicks him. “Focus, stupid.”

“Yeah,” snarks Chiara, whose blood is currently splattering Will’s shirt. She reaches over and flicks Will on the forehead. “Focus in stitching the gaping gash in my leg, Solace.”

Nico frowns around his juicebox. “Hey. Lascialo stare. Only I call him Solace.”

“‘S my last name, Neeks.”

“Uh-huh. Everyone else can figure out something else to call you.”

“Possessive, are you.”

Nico smiles. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“What’d you dream about, anyway?”

If Nico didn’t know Will so well, he’d take the casual tone for what it was. But he does, in fact, know Will and his horrible poker face, and notices the purse of his lips, the flick of his eyes in Nico’s direction every three seconds.

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Everyone would,” huffs Chiara. “I have about forty dollars resting on you, di Angelo, and I will not be losing it.”

Nico sticks his tongue out at her. “Masticare lo zoccolo, zitella.”

“Hey!”

Will’s shoulders shake so hard he has to pause, trembling with the effort to hold back his laughter.

“I am trying to do a medical procedure, you two.”

Nico and Chiara speak at the same time.

“Yeah, in flip-flops.”

“Oh, are you? You’ve been flirting so long my numbing cream has started to wear off.”

That knocks Will back into doctor mode, eyes narrowing in focus. He is especially freckle-y today, not that Nico notices. And the sun is shining out the window at just the right angle to make Will’s curls look luminous. And his tongue sticks out of the corner of his perfect mouth, when he concentrates. And, gods, he’s wearing a shirt but the muscles in his /back/ —

“I can’t work with you oglin’ at me, Ghost King.”

“I’m not ogling at you.” Nico is a beautiful liar. Ignoring Will’s smirk, Chiara’s snickering, and his own flush is easy. “Why would I ever ogle at such an ugly person?”

“Because you’re in love with him, stupido. It’s embarrassing.”

“I think you should check her eyes, too, Solace.”

“How about you check deez fuckin’ nuts —”

“Alright,” Will says exasperatedly, before they can escalate too much and end up knocking a shelf off the wall. Again. “You’re done, Chiara. Take this ambrosia and scram. Don’t do anything strenuous and rip your stitches, ‘cause I’m not doin’ them again.”

She wastes no time bounding out of there. As soon as she’s gone, Will turns to face Nico, grinning.

“So,” he says, stretching out the syllable, grin wide and crooked, “you had a dream about me?”

Nico glances both ways, making sure no one’s watching. Then he darts forward to press a kiss to Will’s lips, relishing in the smell of his herbal shampoo, the chapped skin of his lips. Will grabs the side of his face and holds him longer, far past the quick peck he’d aimed for, kissing him until he smacks his boyfriend’s shoulder and pulls away, laughing. Will grins triumphantly, like he has the upper hand.

And, well.

Nico can’t have that.

“Yeah, lemme tell you about my dream.” He smooths his hands over Will’s shoulders. “This shirt was gone, for starters.”

“Mm. What else?”

“We certainly weren’t in the infirmary.”

“No?”

“No,” Nico breathes, breath hot on Will’s ear. He shivers. Nico smirks. “My cabin, dark, some low music playing…”

Will gasps. “Yeah?”

“…No one to bother us, you looking pretty as a picture on my bed…gagged.”

“Kinky.” Will shudders, hands sliding into Nico’s hair.

“Mhm. My dream come true.”

“That’s your dream?”

“Yes.” Nico pauses. “Dark, comfortable, warm…” He grins, wide and sharklike. “And finally, finally…quiet.”

It takes a second for it to sink in.

“Oh, you jackass!”

Nico cackles, stumbling back at Will’s shove. “Your — your face!”

“You jerk! I despise you!”

“Oh my gods,” he wheezes. He tries to calm himself, but one look at his boyfriend’s bright red cheeks sets him off again. “Oh my gods!”

Will huffs. Despite his embarrassment, he’s visibly struggling to hold on to his scowl, mouth twitching. “I’m breaking up with you. I’m gonna go date someone who appreciates me.”

“Nobody appreciates you more than I do, Sunshine,” Nico says, grinning. He presses a kiss to Will’s glowing cheek. “You’re just so easy to tease.”

Will rolls his eyes. “Whatever. I gotta work. Leave me alone.”

Nico presses another kiss, lingering until he feels him smile. “Okay, okay. I’ll see you at dinner, okay? Te amo.”

“…I love you too. Asshole.”

[autocrats-in-love]

Prompt (307)

“Ooh, I like your haircut,” the villain said as they slammed the hero into the wall.

“Thanks,” the hero said, head butting the villain and sending them crashing to the ground. “Your new shoes look nice.”

[ms-write-a-lot]

Villain rolled their eyes. ‘I can’t believe I’ll have to work with your pathetic ass. Honestly, just try not to weep at every dead wasp we find on the way.’ Hero scowled, looking at the Villain who grinned at having effectively aggravated their favourite enemy. ‘What is your problem?’ Hero snapped.

‘At this moment, my problem is the same as the media.’ The Villain leaned down. ‘It’s you.’

‘Do you have needles in your heart?’

‘I don’t have a heart.’

‘I can tell.’

‘I was going to say because you stole it, but now? Fuck you.’

[marihem]

@fransweek 2024

Day 4: Lazy

What a messy evening...

[marlynnofmany]

Here's a genre crossover I'd love to see: a robot and a talking skeleton. They'd get along great. They have so much in common! And if their human buddy starts to get uppity, they can burn him to the ground by making fun of his squishy bits and need to eat.

[hurt-and-comfort-me-please]

Be Original, at Least

"You're such a piece of shit, you know that?"

The Ex-Villain took their sweet time taking a drag of their cigarette, their expression completely blank.

"Really? I hadn't noticed." Ex-Villain said, almost laughing, "That was only the thirty-thousandth time I've heard that."

Hero didn't say anything, glaring at Ex-Villain,

"Y'know, I know what you're thinking. 'How rude', right? How dare I say anything other than 'sorry' to you, but you know what? I've been here for three fucking years now, three years!" Ex-Villain stood up, pacing around in front of Hero,

"I know what you all think of me! I'm so sick of hearing it!" Ex-Villain groaned, "And it's always the same shit. 'You're a piece of shit', 'You should be ashamed of yourself', blah blah blah."

"They're in the right to!" Hero rebutted,

"Well if they want it to actually hurt me instead of just boring me to tears they could at least come up with something original."

Hero almost chuckled. "The average person needs 674 pounds of oxygen a year, that's over 2,000 pounds of oxygen wasted on you since you've gotten here. Meaning you'd need to plant over 2,300 trees just to justify the air you've taken up."

"Ya see? So much better. I'll be crying about it all night."

[blusnowflakes]

A: "i'm changing, don't look"

B: "you want me to look, don't you"

A: "no, but you would wanna look"

[forestryprompts]

Character A: You know, they say love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably crap.

Character B: That's the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me!

Character A: Well, I like to keep it real. No sugarcoating here.

Character B: You're a breath of fresh air, I'll give you that.

[hitlikehammers]

stupid superpower

rating: teen tags: humor, brotherly ribbing, Dustin has a ✨stupid superpower✨, Dustin continues to have issues with his tone ✨for @slashify at my BIRTHDAY MONTH PROMPT FEST for the prompt: Character Has Powers (requested to be Dustin)

“Look, see!” Dustin points at the mat he’s laid out on the coffee table in Steve’s living room. “This is why Dart was so easy, it makes so much sense now.”

He turns to them with the biggest grin that’s getting a little less gummy by the week, now, but…he looks so proud, is the thing.

And it is painful. The pride. What it’s for.

The way they’re gonna have to probably dash it.

“I,” Steve squints at the setup, start to finish, empty cans framing the perimeter before he sighs: “I am not seeing anything, man.”

“No,” Dustin’s voice goes pitchy, really, he should have outgrown that by now, s’looking like it’s a permanent trait, yeesh; “look.”

And he points with such…some superiority, such imperiousness, like…okay, so maybe it’s the least painful of the list, when they have to dash all that pride. Kid’s gotta fucking learn some humility, man. Like, sooner rather than later.

“I told you I could communicate with them!” Dustin pulls off his cap and throws it to the couch, triumphant. Steve watches the mat for a few more seconds before he straights up, cocks his hip and crosses his arms.

“You’re telling me,” he says slowly; “that you talk to slugs.”

Because that…that certainly appears to be what the argument has been. They’d kinda thought Dustin has been joking, in previous passing mention. Eddie, at least, definitely thought he was just being an annoying little prick for how many times he asked if either of them felt particularly chiropteran, muttering about traits from interactions, close encounters, bites would obviously count.

Like, it was Dustin, if they took all the crap he said to heart, weighed it seriously, they’d never do anything else.

Like: ever.

“Interspecial gastropodic extracommunicational phenomena,” Dustin rattles off, a little defensive, if Eddie’s gonna be honest; and it wasn’t exactly called for. Steve just asked a question.

Eddie, on the other hand…

“So slugs and snails,” Eddie confirms, droll as fuck by intention, because Eddie is actually very aware of his tone in most situations, thank you very much; “the shell doesn’t deter you.”

“No, I think it’s the whole at least the whole class, maybe the whole phylum,” and he’s so excited, but, he’s also being a fucking know-it-all about it and there is a part of Eddie that doesn’t want to squash Dustin’s enthusiasm but the bigger part of Eddie, but fucking far, knows for a goddamn fact no one could possible squash Dustin’s enthusiasm, or self-confidence, like, Dustin would happily go toe-to-toe with like, Stephen fucking Hawking, and brag afterward that the intellectual stimulation was lacking.

So Eddie doesn’t actually feel bad about any of this and Dustin rambles on.

“But I think if I got my hands on a limpet, or an abalone—“

And when he looks up he must catch something, like he must be able to tell, to read something despite Eddie being very fucking careful to keep a helluva poker face right now—and Eddie’s kinda proud, because maybe the little shithead can be taught.

“You’re joking,” Dustin concludes, dry as fuck and with the audacity to sound…disappointed? Like in a how-could-you-be-so-juvenile-as-to-stoop-to-this-level kind of way which. Which.

“Not at all,” Eddie clutches his non-existent pearls in mock offense, and Dustin’s eyes just narrow.

“I was right.”

“Might not want to say that too loud, Dusty-Buns,” Eddie shoots right back and Steve coughs unconvincingly to cover a laugh and Eddie bites his bottom lip to stop his own smile, less because of Dustin’s reaction and more just because…Stevie. Being adorable.

Steve being his Stevie.

“Yeah, that feels like slander,” Steve adds in thoughtfully, stroking his chin and everything before he turns to Eddie, considering.

“Can you slander yourself, if you’re embarrassing enough?”

And oh, oh: Eddie adores it when his boyfriend’s bitchy side comes out. He adores it so much.

“‘Course you can, big boy,” Eddie can’t help himself as he leans over and pecks at Steve’s cheek; Dustin scowls at them and Eddie can’t help himself, so he licks up Steve’s cheek for the disgusted grown from Dustin and the half-assed shove from Steve that doesn’t move him further away at all.

“You’re just jealous that I have a superpower,” Dustin ultimately shoots back which: okay, Eddie knows he’s capable of better than that, he’s kind of disappointed, that was so weak.

“It’s a stupid superpower,” Steve points out, plain and simple and Eddie wants to clap his hands. He. Loves. His. Bitchy. Boyfriend.

So. Much.

“Or is it a superpower for stupid?” Eddie asks, turning back to Steve like it’s a genuine question, a worthy debate.

“Naw,” Steve shakes his head, almost regretful; “he is pretty fuckin’ smart.”

“More than one kind of stupid, Stevie,” Eddie notes with due gravitas.

“Envy,” Dustin sniffs, so goddamn superior. “Green’s really not your fucking color,” and ooo, there’s a little snarl, a little sneer on his lips; “either of you.”

“I look good in green,” Steve points out, not even petulant, just factual.

“For example,” Eddie picks up and talks over Dustin’s comment like he never made one, leveling the little asshole with a pointed look:

“Some people are stupid about their tone.”

Steve doesn’t even try to cover his snort that time.

“You look good in everything, sweetheart,” Eddie takes the opportunity to comment, to sneak another kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth as he purrs; “and out.”

“Disgusting,” Dustin gags and Eddie turns to glare as he bites out:

“Tone!”

Like, way to prove Eddie’s fucking point for him, wow, the lack of self-preservation is overwhelming here.

“I’m gonna go find El,” Dustin announces, like he thinks it’s an airport; “she will be thrilled to have someone like her around—“

“Remember what I said?” Eddie turns to Steve, exaggerates the knowing look he gives; “types of dumb,” then he turns again to Dustin, and knows his look is pitying, because he fucking means for it to be.

“Telekinesis and slug-speak aren’t even in the same universe, man,” and Jesus H., Dustin looks offended at the suggestion, which.

Which.

“The overlap of telepathic—“

“Slugs, Dustin,” Steve butts in, cuts him off; “I drown those fuckers in little bowls of beer in the yard. They go in willingly,” and oh. Oh, Eddie loves his boyfriend.

Eddie loves his boyfriend so goddamn much.

Because he hadn’t even noticed the set up, the slight of hand, because Steve had overturned the can of PBR he hadn’t finished, that had gone warm anyway, and dumped it into the shallow little bowl that used to have pretzel sticks inside, low enough to, to—

“Well they won’t anymore,” Dustin declares, fucking haughty with it; “because I will tell them—“

“Yet behold, special super slug-whisperer,” Eddie gasps and gestures wide to the mat where the slug demonstration had originally taken place: “whatever do we have here?”

What they have there is the little bowl of beer, set on the slug mat.

With slugs already drowned inside.

“Probably maybe you should be smarter about where you stick your attention if you really want to save your precious children from their hoppy graves,” Eddie shrugs, and infuses his words with as much fake fucking concern as he can fit into them because slug-whispering.

Fucking honestly.

Dustin only wastes a few seconds gaping at the scene, mouth working around something—comprehension, maybe, or just some degree of shock—before he turns his eyes up and glares at them both.

“You’re evil,” he says definitively, pointing; “both of you.”

“Go see El, Super Slug,” Eddie smiles indulgently; “she’s absolutely trembling with anticipation at the arrival of an equal, I’m sure of it.”

“After all, didn’t you say,” Steve shrugs and folds his arms over his chest, looks Dustin up and down before delivering the final blow:

“You were right.”

And Dustin scowls, and Eddie cackles, because that’s his brother, that’s their brother.

“Fucking assholes,” Dustin mutters, and leaves his slug mat and the beer-bowl behind as he stomps out the door: these children really need to learn about cleaning up after themselves, even if they leave in a stompy little huff like a goddamn toddler, fucking hell: but still.

Dustin’s their brother.

Like they were ever going to let him get away with bragging about slug powers.

permanent tag list (comment to be added/removed): @pearynice @hbyrde36 @slashify @finntheehumaneater @wxrmland @dreamwatch @perseus-notjackson @estrellami-1 @bookworm0690 

[jasminesfury]

silly funny quirky prompts?

um. hi. more pre/post smut actually

part 2 !!!

cw: suggestive, obviously

<while panting> “well..three times a night is certainly a record isn’t it?” “records are meant to be broken”

“still hate me?” “definitely” “just as much?” “hmm…maybe * pinches fingers* a little less”

“oh well that was..” “yup” “and that” “i know ” “and THAT” “oh my god” “…..” “round two?” “oh definitely”

one of their roommates being like “you know all i want for christmas/my birthday/etc is some noise cancelling headphones i think they’ll be utilised quite a lot actually” “…that is three months away” “you both are the reason i need them especially after..that time so go figure”

if it’s friends to lovers: them knowing exactly what the other likes and doing their best to like do those things

if it’s enemies to lovers: “this changes nothing i still hate you” “sure you do”/“didn’t seem that way two minutes ago”

<while making out> “is this moving too fast” “i uhm- maybe yeah” “…” “fuck it anyway?” “great idea” <resumes making out>

“YOU SLEPT WITH A??? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING????”

“you’re so cute when you get all blushy”

“are you..are you blushing?” “NO physical activity just makes me red okay”

eye-fucking each other across the room and someone just says “earth to A/B?? hello??”

“name one thing we benefit out of this relationship?” “well..” “the sex doesn’t count” “it is good” “THATS NOT THE POINT” “do you disagree?” “..no” “there you go”

character A making it their absolute goal for character B to admit that the best sex they’ve ever had is w/ A, and they both are kinda surprised when it actually happens

“that is simply not possible” “challenge accepted”

[unboundprompts]

Random Prompt #132

"Do you think you'd love me in every universe?"

"I don't even like you in this one."

[trashforazriel]

@gwynrielweeksofficial Day 2: Complementary

AU, Nesta sets up her bestie Gwyn with her broody guy pal Az.

Gwyn: Nesta said you were quiet, but is there something on my face? You're staring. 🫨

Az: 😳 Oh, sorry. I don't mean to stare. Nesta told me you were beautiful.

Gwyn: That doesn't sound like a compliment, Azriel.

Az: 😳 Sorry, you are so gorgeous. This inability to speak is your fault. Please call me Az.

Gwyn: My fault, ☺️ Mr. Walking GQ model? Az, what is your favorite color?

Az: Your eyes.

Gwyn: 😄 So, blue?

Az: It was before we met. Now it's more of an ocean teal. 🤗 What do you do for fun?

Gwyn: Stick people with the pointy end of daggers. Read.

Az: Marry me💍?