#bc 2 me im just having a conversation abt my day or whatever

[doodlboy]

Hey question 4 autistic/adhd/ppl who didn't socialize much as a child, do y'all have ppl say shit like "can't you talk about anything besides yourself?"/"you're really selfish/self centered" to you??

[toastsnaffler]

i keep getting irrationally miffed at ppl 😐😐

[verytendou]

Looks up wikihow for what to do when you realize your office has 5x the amount of budget of every other executive office combined

[unripe-lemon]

Since i know no one will see this:

1 note and i will email my therapist

ok so for this one,, like since then i have emailed my therapist?? that counts right????? tbh i dont even know what to talk abt anymore, but i do have a session with her so dw

2 notes and ill put my laundry away

ugh….. stupid. internet.. making me do things that will make my life easier…. gugh yeah i put my laundry away!!!!! everyone clap now

5 notes and ill try to brush my teeth more often

ok so like for this one i found this video https://youtu.be/pvutTiPY7q8?si=PASnBmUXZ0xiHzWM imma sing this song to myself every tike i dont feel like brushing my teeth

6 notes and ill try to put on cream for my dermatitis (anxiety hives!!! yayyy!!!!) more often

just did it hehe :) tho it is getting a little worse and my kitten scratched me on top of it 😭

10 notes and ill attempt to learn my timestables

11 notes and ill study for my exams

my exams are over!!!! so idk what to do for this one? maybe ill go do my homework instead

20 notes and ill try to go one day without using my pc/phone

30 notes and ill vaccum (more bc we just adopted kittens) my room entirely

40 notes and ill try to explain my depression to my mom again

50 notes and ill clean my locker out at school

imma do this tmr!!!

i forgot 😭 someone remind me

80 notes and ill fix the posters that are falling off of my wall and are probably going to rip soon

doing this rn! taking dinner break

100 notes and ill REALLY unpack everything with my therapist

maybe tmr?

we talked about medication and kittens, also exams so like success??

200 notes and ill ask my mom if we can go to my go and get! me! medicated!

ill discuss w therapist tmr

discussed with therapist, we are now getting the conversation started with my mom and are going to see what my gp says after that!! :) ty to everyone in the notes rooting for meds

300 notes and ill re organise my bookshelf

400 notes and ill clean all of the mold off of my wall

damn 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 ion wannaaaaaaaa

this is a weekend activity tbh, and idk if its even going to BE this weekend :P

500 notes and ill clean the mold off of my roof

600 notes and ill try sewing some new clothes

i crocheted a scarf!!! does that count?

700 notes and ill buy some new shoes

800 notes and ill check out dnd club at school (im scared)

900 notes and ill come up with more goals

edit: bro……. 😭

so im gonna take my time w these bc there is a lot to go thru!! i will try my best to remember to update!!! ty for notes :)

- random internet stranger

edit 2: WTF 1000 NOTES GUYS CHILL

ok so like i have to come up with more goals now???

1500 and ill start taking study notes with a study method (rb with study method that is your fav eg cornell method)

1700 and ill attempt to hype myself up enough to eat at school (long story, germs)

2000 notes and ill start whatever book wins this poll:

[alyimoss]

9, 10, 31,,, (ask game)!!!!!

:333

ok so

9 What do you consider your biggest accomplishment?

honestly i. have not done much at all. ever. so this is a tough one (and also bc i cannot for the life of me remember ANYTHING abt my life suddenly). idk if this counts, but. ive been told several times that im the kind of person people can come to when they have problems, either for advice or just to have someone listen to them. that at times ive been the only one they could turn to. and i consider my ability to become (and keep being) that person despite everything an accomplishment. its either that or learning mostly-proper, semi-advanced english in like 2 weeks after we moved to the states but i was like. 7. and kids that age are sponges so its not rlly anything special?

10 What is a fact about you that nobody would believe?

either that i did ballet (albeit briefly) or that i used to be a social butterfly. im a pretty closed off person nowadays, riddled with anxiety and constantly too nervous to speak up. so i think if i told people that, at some point, i was not only social, but *popular*, they would not believe me. i could strike up a conversation with anyone. was literally getting bullied and i chatted with them like nothing was happening. fun times. wish i was still that kid sometimes

31 Describe yourself with 3 singers

what a horrible day to only listen to game osts lmfao. buuut maybe lemon demon, will wood, and mitski?? ld is kind of the. whatevers up with my brain. the hyper and excitable part that gets buried under the issues. the hyperfixations and the random info and oh its the neurodivergence. his songs exude a sort of vibe that i want to have and think i do have in the privacy of my own thoughts. never ask me abt his songs i will not shut up (i could write whole essays overanalyzing his music). will wood is the loudness and the issues that arent (necessarily) neurodivergence and also the gender issues. kind of vibes i wish i had also in the sense that his songs are so. in your face. a bit nonsensical at times, hard to make out, but you can feel the emotion so plainly. and then mitski is like. every song i hear from her is just my thoughts with a backing track. its actually kind of insane and i need her to stop bc i cannot listen to her songs like a normal person. anyway yeah across the three of those i think the common theme is "mental illness" and i do not know what that says abt me (i know what that says abt me)

anywayyy ty for the ask!! :3

[thecontainerstoreofficial]

long post after cut, not a vent just love life update and also a question for those who are better at this than i am….

okok so basically i ran into an acquaintance from college 2 saturdays ago who i always thought was kind of cute if a little out of my league and we always vibed super well in conversation….we mostly saw each other in group settings through a mutual friend. but when we ran into each other randomly he DMed me afterward on instagram and expressed interest in catching up in person!! and then we proceeded to DM for the next week talking abt random geek stuff + work, at some point i gave him my number so we could text instead.

(also for context the few times we’ve hung out in groups i was openly involved with someone or other at the time, but the fact that he’s reaching out individually now makes it feel like he checked my instagram after seeing me and saw that i had removed all of the photos of my ex-boyfriend and then decided to reach out….)

soooo basically last night after us texting for around a week and a half i asked if he wanted to hang out this weekend or next. and he’s suggested sunday dinner. does this have date vibes??? hes been very receptive and he was the one to reach out initially, but since then i’ve been the one making the moves (ie moving us to text versus DM and now me suggesting a concrete timeframe for us to hang irl….)

it all feels kind of datey but honestly ive been in situations before where it FELT datey but i was the one making all the moves and then it turned out the other person wasnt interested and it only felt datey bc of my own efforts. especially since we’re both recent grads so maybe hes lonely and just looking to make friends that are still in the area since some people moved away after graduating?? like its confusing bc dinner feels like a good sign but i also feel like sunday is the least sexy day of the week 🤔

sorry for the boytalk lol im just out of practice and usually its easier understanding the vibe when u meet people off of hinge or whatever bc that means that they inherently are romantically inrterested in u. meeting organically means this extra step to dating where you have to figure out if its even a date at all!!

[robynbaldurlogs]

baldur log day 1 + 2

day 1 i dont have much to show for this day visually bc i wasnt actively documenting... but essentially, i: made my character, went through the beginning tutorials and stuff, took the little brain guy with me, saved shadowheart, and crashed on the beach. then i stopped playing. here is the only image i took before i got off LOL

day 2 ok. so: shadowheart is cool as fuck. i LOVE her already. cannot wait to strengthen the social link with her or whatever the hell you call it. get the friendship numbers up. this fuckass poem had me dead:

shoutout the bitch queen ig whoever you are. keep serving also i love this fucking guy. i can tell hes a conniving fuck but ohhhh hes kinda hot though!

like why is he kinda cunty. but yea anyways he joined my party. also met this guy. gale. he is strangely charming. but he also gives me zephyr breeze vibes (which is bad) and jack sparrow vibes (which is very good). told my friend speves that and that i thought he looked like a smart himbo and she was like "i dont blame you for that read" + "we'll see" which i Dont Know how to take. my judgements were based off the literal first minute of conversation btw

+ really stupid visual glitch i almost didnt notice. theyre fusing

shadowheart talk your shit man.

"just waiting, like a lovesick puppy?" ...... thats a bad thing? whatever you say man. gonna scare shadowheart with commitment. COMMITMENT JUMPSCARE BOO also little parentheses shadowheart is the most fucking dementia raven way ass name and i love it but it was hard to take it seriously for a little bit. warrior cats ass name. also i got crazy fucking lucky with my rolls. dont have many screenshots but i kept getting high numbers it was lucky as shit up until gale talked to me about needing to consume magical items like crack i read his mind with the mindflayer tadpole and found out it was cus he consumed some crazy ass Dark Magic or something, got a critical failure first, then just used some inspiration i had to get it right, and rolled high as shit LMAO

hit the rolls TWICE btw. read his mind once and then went deeper into his mind which had a 15 dc and got that too. hell yeah baby. also afterwards i was totally honest with him about reading his mind and he freaked the fuck out which fair i read your mind. i get it. but still

then i calmed him down by being like "hey man i had to know. youre dangerous" and passed the persuasion check :sunglasses: easiest game of my fucking life oh i talked to shadowheart abt her pains before that which was cool every conversation i have with her makes me like her more.

i met wyll. great guy. i went to camp to long rest and he dropped some INSANE fucking knowledge on me. like. i could live by this

so i switched gale out in my party with him LMAOOOOOOO and had a conversation with astarion about how hed kill me if i started turning. i asked what he would prefer personally and he said decapitation. which was CRAZY. so i was like yeah sure king decapitate me if i turn. do your thing. i trust your judgment

also talked to shadowheart bc i will seize every chance to learn more about her

then i left camp, talked to kagha while looking for a healer, got them to free a tiefling girl through more persuasion rolls (BECAUSE IM GOATED) and talked to the healer nettie who was fixing a Regular Bird

she told me how strange it is that we arent turning, to swear on my life id drink a poison if i saw any symptoms (which i of course agreed to, shadowheart approved and astarion did not) and stopped playing on the way to rescue halsin. fun times!

p.s. days doesnt necessarily mean im playing this daily but rather just what happens when i play per irl day... days just works as a way to categorize tbh

[xplrvibes]

alright im half way thru and here are my thoughts so far:

1. I truthfully don’t know any of the controversy around joe rogan, i just know he’s hella popular for being controversial and he’s someone i’d be on edge to have a convo with bc what i have seen is he questions everything and he isn’t afraid to let you know he doesn’t agree. but snc seem to really like him and vibe with him and it does seem super out of the blue for joe to want ghost hunters to come investigate his place (I hope this isnt a set up). either way, sounds interesting.

2. that contract from o-park mall is challenge worthy. they spelt colbys name entirely wrong (misspelt his last name and used his nickname and not his legal name) making it null and void from my understanding. i would also say the same abt sam as they used a nickname not a legal name. A good lawyer could wiggle them out of that if they cared.

3. loved hearing colbys take on religion. im the same, i’m not so much religious as i have a relationship with God. i think thats way more important than being in a religious community. and i also feel the same way about just knowing there’s something else out there. also interesting he was the only one on the table who doesn’t have dreams of dying. chop that up to trusting in God and not being afraid bc he knows God has the perfect plan and everything is in control, or just generally not afraid to die for other reasons, who knows. definitely fascinating, either way.

alright i’ll be back in 1.5hr hours with part 2 comments. I probably missed a bunch of stuff i could’ve commented on but these are my standout comments.

- aussie anon

I finished the podcast late last night and then immediately went to bed without really doing a deep dive into my thoughts on the whole thing (aside from a few choice areas that stuck in my brain and had to be discussed in dm's last night lol), so I'm going to use your reviews to sort of start my own review, and then will probably finish up with an additional post later on side thoughts - cause I have a lot lol.

1, The thing with Joe Rogan is that he kind of plays both sides of the fence, in terms of not just politics, but pretty much anything going on (he will have on conservatives and liberals, will have on atheists and people like snc, will have on scientists and then people who believe in UFOs, etc) and so he tends to be very controversial because of that. I don't listen to him, his viewpoints on certain things aren't really my cup of tea and he has in the past said some stuff in his pursuit of riding the fence that was not good and gross and everything, so this is not me defending him or whatever - but at the end of the day, he has the most listened to podcast on earth and love him or hate him, is a household name. Them being invited on his podcast, being treated very well by him, and then him keeping in touch with them and inviting them out to his comedy club is objectively a big deal for them and their visibility and they aren't going to turn that down because twitter - who has pretty much made it clear they lowkey hate snc anyway lol - have an issue with the collab.

I actually found that part of the conversation interesting, because the whole thing came about because his daughter was a fan of theirs, which I just find kind of hilarious and random. Imagine how many people of notoriety and fame they meet or could potentially meet because those peoples' teenage children are fans.

2, I don't think they would actually get arrested for showing up at that mall at this point in their careers, anyway - most malls do not have the uumph to take shit like that truly seriously, and both S & C have made it public that they've been back in there since (one time right after the release of their book, Colby went into their Barnes and Noble with his mom and illegally signed a few of the books on the shelf and posted about it all over his instagram lol). But it is objectively kind of hilarious that they are "banned" from entering the mall and yet they've had consumer products in three of their stores (B&N, Hot Topic and Zumiez), and have had their faces on the store fronts of two of those three.

3, I strangely found that interesting as well, and I normally tend to zone right the fuck out when people talk religion (sorry, all). I was raised Catholic but am not religious these days in my own life, although I certainly do believe that something else has to be going on, hence all the ghosts and stuff. But for whatever reason, hearing others talk about religion always makes me feel wildly uncomfortable - I think it's just feeling like that's something personal and so different from person to person and I just don't like feeling like I'm intruding on their privacy by hearing it (even if they are offering it up freely), if that makes sense? I don't know, I'm just weird about those conversations in general.

But I find it interesting when these two talk religion, firstly because of the content they make and how it would tie back into their own personal belief system, but also just how interesting it is that this is one of those areas where they kind of balance each other on opposite sides of the scale, and yet somehow come together perfectly at the end. It's an interesting phenomenon with them.

Also, all of them talking about dying in their dreams and Colby just piping in with "I've never died in my dreams 😃" like go off, you sweet little just happy to be there king.

[kits-ships]

i filled out my own ask game bc i love fun and i need to talk about atlas or ill explode.........

this is atlas if he was born to eleven, btw!! (he wasnt conceived in the tardis so hes just. a guy)

👒: which physical traits does your child get from you? which do they get from your f/o?

atlas has olive's red hair and a few of her freckles, while he gets the doctor's green/hazel eyes as well as his nose! he'll also eventually have the doctor's height

🧠: which emotional traits does your child get from you? which do they get from your f/o?

like olive, atlas enjoys a bit of domesticity. he still likes to travel, but he wouldnt be opposed to settling down one day. he's also more emotionally-driven than his father is, which he gets from olive.

like the doctor, atlas is off-the-wall hyper and loves being silly! he will dance however he wants and will NOT care what other people think of him. he also has his father's intelligence!

from both of them, he's extremely nurturing and has a strong sense of what's right and what's wrong. he also loves getting to see new places/planets, is always up to try something new, and always has a hundred questions bc he loves an opportunity to learn

💬: what was your child’s first word? was it a nickname for you or your f/o or something entirely different?

tardis. it came out more like 'dardis,' but they both knew what he'd said. the doctor wanted it to be dad or smth but olive thought it was really funny. the tardis was also very excited (she definitely didnt have any influence over the situation, nooo, she wouldnt do that...)

💕: which parent does your child tend to cling to? does it make the other parent jealous?

atlas probably clings to olive simply because he spends the most time with her! when he was younger, he sometimes didnt even recognize the doctor and was like ?! mama there is a GUY OUTSIDE!!! (the doctor is a little jealous. it makes total sense to him but he still wants baby cuddles </3)

🪁: does your child enjoy learning about their parents’ hobbies, or do they prefer to find their own?

atlas loves getting to learn everything abt whatever his parents are doing!! he wants to figure out everything he can about the tardis, time-travel, and other 'timey-wimey' stuff. with his mother, though, he likes baking with her! he would also sit with her when he was much younger and tried to embroider alongside her.

🐾: do you and your f/o have any pets alongside your child? how do they get along?

ive never thought about olive having another cat after celeste (excluding in her polyship or a master x olive situation) but!! she probably does. olive loves cats and im sure atlas would too!

🍼: what’s your child’s comfort item and where did it come from? is it a hand-me-down?

i think his main comfort item would be a crochet blanket that olive made for him when he was a baby! that, and he likes to steal random clothes from the tardis' wardrobe that remind him of his dad (think four's scarf, six's coat, seven's vest, etc)

🤲: how did your child react when they met you and your f/o’s friends? are they shy?

atlas is far from shy. he's the type of child to wander off in the grocery store and try to strike up a conversation with the butch or smth. so, when he meets clara, bill, etc, he's excited!! he wants to know all about them and, in return, wants to tell them EVERYTHING about his own life. he will impress everyone with his collection of lego sets.

🌈: if applicable, who (from your f/o’s source) would you make your child’s godparents? who (out of your friends) would you make their godparents?

this is a hard question to answer because most of their friends are 1.) dead. 2.) extremely busy or 3.) the doctor abandoned them. my first thought was river or jack, but their life isnt very. child friendly. (jack would absolutely babysit though and try to pull the 'yeah im a single dad ;)" card on random people at the park)

later in the doc's life, olive would absolutely trust graham with the baby. when atlas is born, though?? i guess they'd have to get into contact with tegan or ace or soMEONE. normally i would just say "eh they dont need one" but these idiots put their lives in danger every day so. godparents are v necessary

☀️: what’s your child’s favorite game to play with you and your f/o? tag? hide and seek, maybe?

HIDE AND SEEK IN THE TARDIS!! its a nightmare for poor olive and her eds, but she'll get there eventually. there's just so many places to look....... the doctor loves playing with him tho though and the tardis refuses to help the doc cheat

🧁: what’s your child’s favorite thing in the world? what’s their least favorite thing?

atlas loves getting to hear stories about his dad/from his dad!! theres just so much to talk about and atlas wants to hear everything!!

his least favorite thing is whoever this 'master' guy is! atlas hasn't met him, but he would definitely bite him if he got the chance!! (he gets that from olive)

[binders-and-beanies]

Mental health updates under the cut I guess (tldr I’m still not ok but am taking steps to keep myself safe or whatever)

Told my supervisor I’m in crisis and he was super understanding n supportive n whatnot. We both are trans and have mental health issues and work in an lgbt center so one would hope it’s safe to be honest abt that kind of thing but it was a relief bc it also opened up a conversation abt scheduling moving forward n me having like 2 or 3 days off a week as opposed to the current 1 or 0. Esp since higher ups want me to work less anyways im like that’s totally fine bc i have a million things to do outside of work all the time.

Other thing I did was cancel a workshop I was gonna lead next week and it was a really hard decision. I would have been proud afterwards and I’m worried abt having regrets but I’ve done the same workshop before so it’s off the bucket list or whatev. Person in charge of that was also super supportive for similar reasons as above. It doesn’t solve the problem of there always being too many things stressing me out, and I don’t wanna set a precedent that I can just not do my responsibilities, but it eases a big part of the stress this month specifically.

Ppl in my life are saying they’re proud of me for setting that boundary and it’s weird to be praised for bailing on smth when I’m also feeling big guilty abt it but I gotta remind myself that being flakey is absolutely normalized in society and if ur average person can do so on the regular then I’m allowed to take One step back once it’s gotten to the point where my safety is questionable. I’d like to get to a point where things don’t get that serious in the first place but I’ve also never rly appreciated feeling blamed for being in this kind of position when the kind of things I’m busy with are mostly 1) things that are required for survival and 2) things that make it feel worth surviving. As if this is smth i do to myself bc i just <3 capitalism or smth

Im stressin tho bc as mentioned earlier my job is at risk for unrelated reasons which also means a lot of other things are at risk. This is happening at the same time I’ve just lost my insurance and have my biggest ever college bill to pay. And now I don’t know where I’ll be living or what that will mean for my finances either. It would also mean it takes even longer to qualify for any kind of credit, and therefore an apartment.

Even if nothing happens and I just keep working here for another year as planned it’s like can I not get JUMPSCARED w my livelihood being threatened like there’s literally always at least one Huge actual life or death problem as well as many other less catastrophic but extremely stressful things to deal w. I’m tired of living like that w no relief and I hate that the best case scenario is this fear ends up being for nothing. I hate that I’m thinking abt what I’ll do in x y or z scenario for this summer and my masters if this falls through, instead of enjoying the relief of one less thing on my plate.

I hate that this is how I’m doing the day after my birthday. I had a fun birthday weekend and am grateful for the people I spent it with and the places I went but it didn’t feel like genuine celebration it felt forced, like I was doing it because I Have to have a good birthday. Bc if one of the most important days of the year isn’t joyful then where’s the hope of any other days getting better. I did enjoy it I just couldn’t Feel the enjoyment bc I’m so stressed and I had major breakdowns before and after my bday. It sets a bad tone regarding aging and I want to celebrate progress but it’s hard when the future is more terrifying every year.

I feel like even if all my problems were magically solved, my ability to feel joy is permanently altered and it’s hard to imagine feeling anything more positive than just like, relief and rest. Idk I say all that to say I’m proud of myself for taking steps to make life more livable just like I’ve always done but it also feels kinda hopeless like nothing I do matters if it’s gonna be constant stress regardless

[stonejuice]

ive stuck my foot in it and called out some ppl at a local mutual aid group for being hypocrites and abusing "authority" and now im a little lost on how i can contribute to do the work and build a better community. Because these people do not want to be questioned. Community organising is a whole thing and i love people so much, but this has been really disheartening and its making me want to step away from mutual aid even though im pretty in with this group. Im thinking even i might just move. One of the central tenets of the beliefs i subscribe to is like. Reflexivity not recursion. Not getting stuck in an echo chamber of therapy speak. Listening to criticism and learning from people who have different experiences. Not bad. Just different.

But my ex is now telling people im an abuser when they r the one that fucked me over and im still trying to untangle actual good experiences i had with them so i can tell them apart from the "didnt want to kill the mood by askin for u to go easy on me" (for whatever reason) experiences. Theyve fucked me good and proper and i need to take spme time to recover bc im also so sick right now. i cant even be in there defending myself for giving valid criticisms bc im sick, and now ive started more shit by askin people not to try and boss people around if they do not know the first fucking thing about what theyre talking about. Abt really specific practices. I worked in food production for 2 years. I know whats safe to eat and whats not, how to process something to make it safe if by itself it wouldnt be. I know whats safe to feed chickens bc i *have* kept chickens for most of my life. But now im questioning my entire knowledge base bc these few people are unable to accept criticism.

Unless i just caught them when they were tired and not down for empathy. In which case, maybe we just need a conversation when we are on a more even keel.

But some of the ways i have been treated by people for trying to speak up are actually inexcusable. Qnd until that gets seen and recognised im not giving them the time of day because they will keep actually gaslighting me (deliberately or not) into second guessing myself. I want this person to accept that they hurt me. I dknt even need an apology. I just want them to accept that i have been wronged. If they can see and accept that their actions have hurt me, you know, maybe after that we can talk. But until then im sick. Im tired. I think i hauve the flu.

Apparently its been exceedingly apparent to ppl, that my ex is full of shit. Or at least that theres something else going on thats uncool, and its setting off warning bells for other people and i am so so relieved to hear that. But thats from my brother, who was also tired and is prone to exaggeration so idk how much truth i should be taking from that source. Hes the best and i love him to bits, but hes also in a cult like situation with his housemates rn so his own perception is being warped by stress

[pepprs]

im going CRAZY

[curiouskurona]

Regarding your last post, who would you say IS the type to ghost? V.S who wouldn't?

DJKXJQKFLVLA okay so . bear with me here

riddle : would never ghost ( unless there was som kind of rule abt it ?? doubtful tho lol ) . is straightforward n 2 tha point , also isnt afraid 2 call ppl out so he wont feel tha need to ghost instead of telling u whats up

cater : oh man . maybe ?? honestly i dont hav a great grasp on his character ( @ twst give us moar cater content plz ) but i can see him both ghosting and being ghosted w equal frequency

trey : yes . 100% yes sorry . i feel liek i dont even need 2 explain this one but * looks at how he just let riddle do whatever he wanted instead of confronting him for years * . no trey slander but also kind of a lil trey slander ( I DONT HATE HIM THO LOL JCKAJLFLGLA )

ace : oh 100% he would . hes not a serial ghoster but he has and he will again . not bc hes adverse to confrontation , hes just kind of inconsiderate / he can b oblivious to other ppls feelings ( NO ACE HATE IM AN ACE APLOGIST HES FUNNIE )

deuce : no . he wants to , but no . he would definitely force himself to communicate and either air his grievances or tell them hes not interested in talking anymoar . hes trying to better himself . what would an honorable honor student do ,, not ghost ppl thts for sure

leona : yes 100% absolutely but only bc hes so lazy / he sleeps all day . he cant be bothered to spend any moar energy on a conversation that bores / annoys him . unless ur a girl / woman . and i dont mean that in a womanizer way i mean that in a leona chugs respect women juice all day long way . so hed maek ruggie type out what he wants to say n then go back 2 bed

ruggie : yes but only bc hes so busy taeking care of leona that he probs forgot / doesnt hav tiem 2 respond . actually he might ghost genuinely but only if ur liek . maeking him uncomfortable

jack : NO it wouldnt be right !! he respects ppl too much to leave them hanging liek that , it would be rude . and even if he doesnt liek / respect you , its tha principle of tha matter . why would he stoop so low as to be petty n passive agressive by not responding , he'll just tell you straight out if hes got a problem

azul : hm . this one is a hard one ngl ? i think no bc who is he to burn bridges , yanno ? he lieks having connections n shite im sure . but also i can see him being our smug lil capitalist liek " hi sorry i cant hear u i was too busy counting my money " also hes probably a lil lonley tho so . why would he ghost you unless u were being rlly mean or smth

floyd : yes bc he thinks its funnie / he wants 2 get a reaction outta you fjkvHAKFLVLLVLA . he regularly leaves riddle on read so he can provoke riddle into stompin over to yell at him , actually . and if u nevr respond / give him a reaction he'll probably end up forgetting to respond anyways ( unless he lieks you / is on an up moodswing )

jade : hm . no , because he really enjoys playing out that whole sebastian michealis thing . oh hes too much of a gentleman for that , you know ,, stares @ u liek this ^___^

kalim : NO NO WAY he loves to talk he loves to maek friends !! well actually he might ghost accidentally if he forgets but hes SUPER apologetic about it ówò he will send flowers n jewelry n stuff to maek up for it

jamil : yes 100% . again not a serial ghoster but can and will if he doesnt liek you . he will pretend he is too busy to respond but rlly he is looking @ u liek this -_-

vil : yes , he would . hes a very busy boy , but also hes not above ghosting ppl if he feels liek he doesnt want to waste his precious tiem talking to potatoes who dont event get what hes trying to say . actually i taek that back he would purrobably tell you the above b4 he stops responding . he would also ghost tho

rook : you wish

epel : no , as i stated in my last post . he just isnt tha type . he'll say what needs 2 be said , just ignoring his problems until they go away isnt his style , he aint gonna wuss out n he aint gonna beat around tha bush . he grew up with a ton of old folks , he probably doesnt get or have an interest in highschool drama , just communicate w him damnit

idia : yes are you fucking kidding me

ortho : this is a child . a kind of lonely child . he should be playing neopets idk how to answer this question . no ?? maybe ?? hes normal ig

malleus : yes absolutely but only bc his concept of tiem is wack and he genuinely wont realize its been ages since he responded . is devastated wen he finds out

lilia : no not really . hes pretty witty and finds most things amusing , i figure he can always respond to whatever you throw at him and he wont really feel tha need 2 ghost . if u maek him mad he might threaten you or smth n stop responding but nah he wont rlly ghost

silver : another obvious yes , bc he WILL fall asleep . constantly leaving you on read but isnt tha type to long term ghost / cut contact , unless he liek . keeps putting it [ responding ] off and always falls asleep b4 he can . next tiem for sure tho ,, right ?

sebek : are you malleus ? no ? blocked . JDKLVLSLLFLVLA okay but srsly tho . probably yes unless ur a classmate n yall r askin abt tha homework n stuff . hes not really interested in being social outside of diasomnia as far as i can tell , but what do i know , i havent rlly gotten into his character much

[quidfree]

I didn't know you watched Stranger Things. I adore your MHA works a lot (your characters' designs, your worldbuilding ideas,... they all are brilliant), so I wanted to ask about ST a month ago when I started watching the show ( but didn't know for sure that you even knew about it so). So, what's your thoughts for Stranger Things? Did you read any analysis, like about the subtext, symbolism,... of it?

(btw I love Steve and Robin' friendship so much)

have a good day ^^

haha i don’t watch that many Popular Medias but i’ve watched s3-4 of stranger things yeah (don’t ask me why i haven’t watched s1-2)

also thank you re works <3 i do have many opinions abt stranger things but i’ll just drop a couple of random ones here or we’ll be here forever- if you want to talk abt specific things feel free to ask (s5, the will sexuality conundrum, ships, whatever)

first off you are correct steve and robin’s friendship is so great. wish we had more of their conversations this season but loved their rapport. robin’s coming out scene in s3 is one of my top 3 stranger things scenes.

my fav charas are probably… steve will max nancy? i like s3 robin more than s4 robin

i haven’t really read much Analysis of it actually... i feel like most of the things in the show are fairly surface level im not sure what i’d be reading into. then again somehow people still don’t think will is gay so maybe i’m making generous assumptions about people’s media analysis skills

i guess the Upside Down of it all is the ripest for theories but my honest stance there is that i don’t think the duffers actually know what they’re doing when it comes to their crafting the UD. the rules of the upside down are INSANELY inconsistent between seasons and episodes lol. why hopper got lung damage from the air there but steve’s been biting bats and getting strangled and getting chunks eaten out of him and just walking it off i do not know.

i think will and el should have scary sci-fi child vibes together & s5 should refocus on the s1-2 protags. i love the extended cast but i think the show is better when we have our Protagonists do Protagonist things. and noah schnapp should be acting beyond [tender emotional music] again!!!! even goddamn mike needs to step his ass up back into protagonist territory in s5 im tired of his s4 blandness

people speculate a lot abt the relationships in the show and like i said im not diving into all that unless asked but i am Tired of the nancy love triangle storyline we are 4 seasons into the show pls. 

my least fav plot line is probably ye old evil russians. like really. is that still fresh and groundbreaking in 2022. hopper’s storyline this season bored me so much. 

let me purge my followers of anyone who will take issue with this stance but fuuuuuck billy, one of those kylo ren loser charas whose following makes 0 sense to me hes literally insanely abusive to his kid sister and her friends of which he tries to kill the only black one like why are people ride or die for this man. i dont care that he has a sad backstory do you know how many people have sad backstories and aren’t like that. 

on the other hand i did love eddie this season altho i was at peace with him dying bc it spared steve. however i think his death scene was dumb and could have been done better. and i am sad they didn’t give us more of a steve bisexuality arc bc tbh it would actually fit his character. more interesting than steve pining after nancy again

I HATE THE TIMESKIP THEY DID AT THE END OF S4 !!! VERY LAME !!!

[awhst-alt]

I HAD THE BEST BYLER DREAM LAST NIGHT AND I REALLY WANNA SHARE IT WITH YOU ALL

it's so long (literally 2k words) so im gonna put it under the cut haha <3

so basically this would take place after mike and will start dating or something, idk exactly the time frame (i picture them being like 18 or something and this is the summer before college) and will goes to this summer arts program for like 2/3 months (i dunno how long american summer is but something like that) and its all the way far from home so there is dorms and stuff and he's "not in hawkins anymore" (no pun intended)

mike and will decide after will finishes his school they'd go to college together (cuz they're gonna be comic book artists together bc thats boyfriend shit) so throughout these months he's practically just waiting for will (<333333)

so one specific scene i remember from my dream involved will and mike getting off the bus to the school and then they hug and then mike grabs wills hand and brings him behind the bus and then he gives will a biggg kiss bc he won't be able to kiss him for 3 months. then they say they love each other and will gives him another quick kiss and is like "two kisses". they agree they'd call each other every day.

so will goes inside and mike goes back on the bus and goes home.

and basically the whole day is a whirl, until the end of it, in which mike is sitting in the kitchen near the phone waiting for like 3 hours for will to call, and will doesn't end up calling.

AND THEN IT GETS SPICYYYYY

so meanwhile at the arts program will asks like the front desk or something if he can call mike and they say phone is offlimits and they don't let him call mike

so then will goes to sleep and he's paranoid that he thinks mike is gonna hate him or something like that

mk than the next day in class there is this girl (they didn't reveal her name in the dream, ill call her stella) so stella is basically looking at will the entire class but will doesn't know it

so when they exit the class stella's like "hi" and will says "hi"

then stella says "i like your painting."

will is like rlly weirded out so he goes "thanks?"

"i um- hope this doesn't sound weird but i have no friends, do you want to be mine?"

"sure"

and then end of scene (this does not sound like a normal conversation but it's my dream so it doesn't have to make sense"

so BACK AT HAWKINS mike is still sleeping even tho it's like 3 pm because yk depressed boyfriend shit but then the PHONE RINGS and mike gets out of bed frantically and goes to the phone and he picks it up and is like "will?" and then it answers "it's el, idiot"

i feel like this is important for context but el speaks english very well now and hoppers back and she lives with hopper and not the byers anymore. ANYWAYS

el says "how's will?"

mike says "idk he didn't call"

"he didn't?"

"no, he didn't"

"okay. well maybe he will call later"

"yeah mb"

"wanna come over"

"ok"

so mike hangs up and gets changed and goes to el's house bc they r a couple o' besties and when he gets there it's like a therapy sessions bc mike usally talks to will every single day and he can't for like 3 months (unless will calls, but he's not going to) so he accepts he's gonna be depressed for 3 months and he's just talking to el about how he's gonna miss him so much and no be able to see his face and that shit

so el's like "well do u wanna do something to take ur mind off of him"

and mike's like "no im not gonna replace will" (I SCREAMED IN MY DREAM SRSLY)

but than el says "okay. guess im gonna go to the mall by myself" (ig starcourt is rebuilt by now)

and than mike bolts up and is like "fine"

"we can by something for will"

"okay yay"

so then they go to starcourt yasss!!

anyways back at the art school will is having lunch and stella is with he friends (even tho she said she doesn't have any friends) and one of her friends is like "omg did you see _____ he's so hot"

and another friend says "YESS! but ____ is cuter"

"what abt u stella? who do u have ur eyes on"

she says "byers" BUT NOOOOOOO WILL IS MIKES MAN

and they say "ew that kid who came back to life"

she says "yea. but he's cute, and shy, and once i wrap them around my finger i can get them to do anything"

so then she goes to sit down next to will at lunch

"hi will"

"hi"

"hru"

"im good"

"okay. good." and she gets upset because will goes ask how she is but she keeps her urging rage inside. and than they have this weird conversation and will is uncomfortable the whole time bc shes all like flirting with him and will is seeing someone obvi

but then she puts a hand on will's shoulder and he's shaking and then says something (idk what it is it wasn't explaining in my dream) then will stands up and runs to the bathroom. so he's just sitting in the stalls crying.

okay back at starcourt this part wasn't shown in my dream but im just gonna make up that mike and el go looking around starcourt for something for will (sort of like the mike/lucas/will montage where they were looking for stuff for el) and then i guess they find something for will and i don't have the slightest idea what they could have got for him BUT THEY GOT HIM SOMETHING GOOD

so mike's all happy but they'res still that depression inside of him lol

so fast forward a week, it really isn't explained but ill just make up that will still hasn't called mike, and he's super sad and all sleeping in but decides to look through his good ol binder full of will's drawings and in the arts school will and stella have a few more interactions im sure which are still very uncomfortable

okay so it's lunch again in the cafeteria and somehow will and stella are talking again but somehow it ends in stella kissing will and will like pulls away immediatley and is like "what is wrong with you!?"

and she says "what?"

"i'm seeing someone!"

"oh i uh- i didn't know."

the whole cafeteria is staring at them

so will's freaking out almost on the verge of a panic attack "idk what to do, he's gonna hate me and-"

"he?"

will has the look on his face like shit shit shit oh fuck no

"you're gay?"

"i-"

and will runs off once again. and everyone in the whole cafeteria knows that he's day and ofc with everybody being homophobic will knows it's not good at all bc everyone's gonna bully him

so then the next day he goes to class and the teacher is like "does anyone care to tell me where ___ is?" (it would be like a math question like 'where x is' but in art idkkk) and then the teacher calls on "will? can you tell me where ___ is?" and they'res a pause and then the teacher says "or perhaps you'd want to find your boyfriend instead?" (giving me anne with an e vibes prolly cuz i did a rewatch last weekend but i won't explain more in case some people haven't watched it but) anyways will stands up from his seat, everyone is looking at him, and he's shaking and so concerned but then he goes "fuck. you" badass will yeaaaa thats my boy

so then he runs out of the classroom and out of the school in a really cool montage way but then he realizes he's like 2 hours away from home but he runs and runs and he goes to a random bustop (it's not even garanteed if it takes him to hawkins but whatever) he gets on and tries to go back to hawkins.

and soon enough, he gets there, and immediatley goes to the wheelers because he needs to see mike and apologize for everything. so he's at the wheelers, and rings the doorbell, realizing he's still in his uniform lol but karen answers and mike is upstairs in his room sulking (i picture it would be 8 pm by now) so will asks for mike and karen calls mike. mike groans obviously because he doesn't know it's his boy, but he comes down, karen gets out of the way and as soon as he sees will they have a really big hug and it's super sweet and my heart UFHEIOSKA

mike says his usual "are you okay?" and mike is still confused as shit but will says "i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry" and mike says "you don't have to be sorry for anyrhing" but will says "ill explain"

so then they go to will's room, side-by-side on his bed and will starts explaining everything

(this is mostly improvised by me but it's still pretty similar to the dream)

"i hated it."

"the school?"

"yeah. there was no you, (mike blushes lmao), everything was terrible, i felt so lonely, they didn't let me call you-"

"what?"

"they said the phone was off limits. i wanted to talk to you so bad and i thought you'd hate me"

"i could never hate you, will, even if i tried." will smiles

"and then there was this girl, and she hit on me and i didn't know what to do bc i'd be the face of the school if i told her i was dating you and was gay and today she kissed me"

"WHAT"

"im sorry im sorry i didn't kiss back and i was so scared bc i never was in a relationship before and i was so scared it was considered cheating-"

and mike LAUGHSS

"what? mike? what's wrong?"

"if you don't do anything back, it's not considerd 'cheating'"

"oh. good. are you mad at me?"

"what? no! no never!" so mike opens his arms and says "come here" so will and mike hug or something like that and then mike says "do you need me to beat her up?"

and will says "you can't even beat eggs. besides, your noodle arms wouldn't be able to do harm to even a fly"

so mike laughs and says "i'm glad your home"

so will blurts "i cursed out a teacher"

"you? cursing?"

"yes."

"might have to start calling you a bad boy now"

will just smiles and says "i love you"

and mike says "i love you too"

AND THEN END AND IM SO PROUD OF MYSELF BC I LOVE THIS DREAM LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE MY BRAIN THOUGHT OF THIS BUT IM OBSESSED

ALSO ONCE I FINISH WYBMFFAE ILL PROBABLY WRITE THIS INTO A FULL BLOWN FIC BUT AHIHFUSAH

edit: i have no idea what mike did with the present him and el bought for will but i guess they ended up giving it to him lol

[snapjock]

help i don't talk 2 anybody anymore i say words but im watching myself type it like 🙂 all the things inside me i know are there are so shoved down in dissociative depression numbness i cant connect to online conversations or even rlly irl conversation . so basically i repeat the same stock answers and i hate myself more every day bc i am so common boring now and i cant display emotions or original thouguhts (when i even have them) . which perpetuates the problem. maybe my meds suck actually bc this started a month after i went on them and now every emotion and thought and etc whatever is just. stuck in limbo. i hate it . like i dont have moodswings anymore but also i dont FEEL ANYTHING AT ALL or have any thoughts or things to talk abt or desire to communicate or connect or anyrhing. i get overwjekmed at the idea of holding a real conversation for more than 5 minutes bx its like no i cannot talk any more. its all gone. [explodes my brain]