#before i went to therapy like where would i be without her

[oc-cinematic-universe]

time to analyze my ocs as if I didn't make them, dara's character arc is soooo interesting to me. cause she's already had her redemption arc. you don't get to see it but she's spent the last 70 years trying to improve in every way she can. and she's done well! if you compare her as she is now to how she was before theron's death, she is Starkly different.

the only perspective you get on her before theron's death is theron's journal, but it is a good perspective to have. because she fucking treated this kid like shit! theron was not part of her job description so she did not give them care aside from making sure they were alive. and she clearly didn't do that part very well either! she got herself wrapped up in her annoyance of this kid enough to be convinced they needed to DIE. falling that far into her own selfish emotions wasn't entirely her fault but she still very much had every option not to. and yet therons dead.

what you don't get to see is everything in between that moment and the start of the comic, 74 years later. of course you don't. dara is the main character of this story, a little bit the narrator as everything follows her. and she does not think seeing those 74 years is important. there's only then and now. she doesn't let the story take a path that could reveal just how much effort she's put into doing better. she won't look at it and neither should you.

but she HAS clearly had her arc. you can see that. she loves the kids in her school so much. she cares about everyone she meets So Much. she lets kids who have nowhere else to go stay over the summer and makes sure they dont have to go back to abusive environments. you dont even have to fucking look at anything else to know this is a HUGE shift from what she was like in 1950! she takes in a random kid practically left on her doorstep (jules) and makes sure they are loved and safe despite the consequences that could come from that! and it feels so casual for her!! this isn't something she's doing out of guilt (maybe not anymore), she's just doing it because it's the right thing to do! because she CLEARLY put in the effort already to reach this point, even if we didn't see it. dara does not HAVE a redemption arc in the comic. she's already finished hers LONG before the story begins.

dara's arc in comic isn't about getting better, it's about accepting being better. dara had even already begun accepting herself before the comic started. its been 7 decades. she hasn't Forgotten what she did, it just. isn't relevant anymore. so she doesn't think about it as often as she once did. ...but now she can't avoid thinking about it. and she's losing so much of the progress she's made because she hates herself that much. as much effort as she clearly put into being kind to others, she did not put the same into being kind to herself. and on some level, it's fair. i mean. kind of hard to want to be kind to a child murderer. and she shouldn't convince herself that didn't matter, because it does, so much. but she really takes it to mean she can never be a good person. and thats where so much of the conflict of the story lies. her self hatred is why everything gets as bad as it does. she's dragging everyone down with her because hating herself becomes more important than keeping her loved ones safe. and it hurts them a lot. it hurts her. over. and over. and over.

daras arc revolves around accepting the truth. that people are complicated. and letting herself live because she's a person too. she's already gone through her redemption arc. now she just needs to see that and live with it

[elia-the-bibliophile]

Hey I have this Charles x reader request in mind where they're in a backstreet relationship and someone is being rude to her while she's in Monaco? the rest of how the story goes is up to you:)

Protective Boyfriend Mode (Charles Leclerc x Female Reader)

Genre: Fluff Word count : 2,8k

Dating Charles Leclerc in secret has its perks.

For starters, Y/N doesn’t have to dodge the metaphorical tomatoes hurled by the public just yet. The judgment, the microscopic scrutiny, and the sky-high expectations that come with being a WAG? She’s more than happy to keep those at bay for now.

Y/N doesn’t mind that the world has no clue she's dating Charles. What really counts is how he treats her when they’re away from prying eyes. Who needs the world to know when she gets the best version of him, away from the cameras and the chaos?

His family, of course, is in on the secret and backs her decision to stay incognito. Honestly, Y/N doesn’t need the publicity circus that would erupt if they went public. She enjoys her peaceful, average life, free from paparazzi ambushes and social media execution.

Sometimes, Y/N can’t help but indulge in a little harmless online stalking of Charles’ exes—Giada Gianni, Charlotte Siné, Alexandra Saint-Mleux. These women look like they’ve stepped straight out of a magazine cover, and she has zero shame in admitting it. Envy is one of the seven deadly sins for a reason, and let’s face it, she’s only human.

What really gets her is trying to figure out why on earth Charles latched onto her after dating these goddesses. It’s like he stepped out of a sleek Ferrari and decided to cruise around on a humble bicycle.

She swings between feeling like the luckiest girl alive and wondering if he might need a stronger prescription for his glasses. The whole situation leaves her scratching her head and laughing at the absurdity of it all.

────────────────────────────────────

Today, everything grated on her nerves. Her hair looks like it could fry chips. Her skin is dull enough to blend into the wallpaper. The toaster has chosen today of all days to go on strike. To top it off, her co-workers keep bombarding her with Teams calls without even checking if she’s available. If she could rate this day, it would get a solid 0 out of 10.

“Can this day get any worse?” she mutters to herself, glancing at her reflection. “Y/N, you’re one bad hair day away from looking like Bellatrix Lestrange.”

Her laptop buzzes with another Teams call. She groans and answers, forcing a smile. “Hi, Harvey. Can I help you?”

“Hey, Y/N! Quick question—”

“Harvey, quick question for you: Did you check if I’m available?”

“Uh, no?”

“Exactly, so please, next time, do me a solid and check if I'm available before hitting that call button, okay?”

Just then, her phone buzzes with a text from Charles.

“Hope your day’s going better than mine! My helmet decided to play hide and seek.”

She snickers and types back.

“At least your helmet’s hiding. The toaster just gave up on life.”

“I'm really sorry about your day, ma chérie. But I promise to make it better. I'll swing by your favorite bakery and bring back a ridiculous amount of cakes just for you.”

That earned a smile out of her. Trust Charles to know exactly what she needs.

As Y/N tries to shake off the day's frustrations, she decides to distract herself by scrolling through Instagram. Among the posts, one catches her eye—a recent upload from Jasmine Tookes, her celebrity crush since forever. Jasmine looks stunning, as always, flaunting a gorgeous Yves Saint Laurent bag in cherry red that's absolutely to die for.

Y/N can practically feel the allure of the bag through the screen, and an idea sparks in her mind. The YSL boutique is just a short walk away.

“Maybe a little retail therapy is just what I need to salvage this day,” she muses aloud.

Without giving it a second thought, she grabs her purse and heads out the door.

────────────────────────────────────

As Y/N steps into the YSL boutique, she's greeted by the scent of a distinct perfume mingled with a hint of leather. The store is relatively empty, save for a few tourists browsing the shelves. Undeterred, Y/N scans the display case, her eyes searching for that coveted cherry-red bag she spotted on Jasmine Tookes' Instagram.

From her peripheral vision, she notices a couple of sales assistants giving her a once-over, but no one approaches her. She shrugs it off, relishing the freedom to browse at her own pace. Finally, she spots the bag she's been dreaming of and makes her way over to it.

“Excuse me,” she calls out to one of the nearby sales assistants politely. “Could you tell me about the stock availability and the price of this bag?”

The sales assistant approaches, but when she begins speaking in French, Y/N's heart sinks. She's not fluent in French, and she quickly apologizes, asking if they could switch to English instead.

There's a momentary hesitation from the sales assistant, who seems to be holding back an eye-roll, before reluctantly switching to English. The demeanor, however, turns chilly, and Y/N can't shake the feeling of being judged.

“I'm sorry, but that particular item is not available,” the sales assistant replies curtly, her tone dripping with condescension. “Perhaps you should try checking other stores that may be more suited to your purchasing ability.”

Y/N's cheeks flush with frustration, her jaw clenching as she tries to maintain her composure. She can't believe she's being treated this way in a store she loves. Taking a deep breath, she forces a polite smile, trying not to cause a scene.

“Excuse me,” she says as politely as she can muster, her voice trembling slightly. “May I ask what made you say that to me?”

The sales assistant's gaze hardens, her tone dripping with disdain. “Maybe you should look into a mirror and see your own appearance today.”

Y/N's eyes widen in disbelief. So what if she's just dressed in a plain t-shirt and linen pants? Is minimalism suddenly not cool anymore?

Y/N retorts, her voice edged with disbelief. “Are you seriously judging me based on how I look? Last time I checked, being a customer wasn't contingent on wearing a designer outfit.”

As she speaks, Y/N notices some discreetly filming tourists nearby, their expressions mirroring her shock and disbelief. She feels a surge of vindication knowing she's not the only one appalled by the sales assistant's behavior.

Y/N's fists clench tighter at her sides, her nails digging into her palms as she struggles to contain her rising anger. The sales assistant's dismissive wave and condescending tone only serve to fuel the fire burning within her.

“Madame, this is a respected establishment,” the SA says, her voice dripping with thinly veiled contempt. “Please take your leave.”

Y/N's jaw tightens, her frustration reaching its peak. She opens her mouth to retort, to unleash the torrent of words building up inside her, but then she stops. What's the point? Arguing with someone who clearly lacks any sense of professionalism would only waste her energy.

With a deep breath to steady herself, Y/N turns on her heel and strides out of the store, her head held high despite the humiliation burning in her chest. She refuses to let this one encounter ruin her day, but she also knows she won't be returning to that boutique anytime soon.

────────────────────────────────────

By the time Charles arrived home, juggling two bulging shopping bags filled with an assortment of delectable cakes, he could practically taste the sour mood emanating from Y/N. Despite her attempts to shrug off whatever had bothered her, Charles refused to let it slide.

He set the bags down on the kitchen counter with a soft thud, his brow furrowed in concern as he approached Y/N. “Hey, bébé , what's wrong?” he asked gently, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

Y/N forced a tight smile, trying to brush off his concern. “Oh, it's nothing, Charles. Just a little hiccup. Not worth your energy, really.”

But Charles wasn't about to let it go that easily. He could sense her distress, and he wasn't one to stand idly by when someone he cared about was upset.

Before he could press further, Charles' phone rang, signaling an incoming text message. His eyebrows shot up in surprise as he glanced at the screen, seeing the name Lorenzo flashing across it. The text sounded urgent, almost concerned, and Charles felt a knot form in his stomach as he read the words: “You need to see this.”

Curiosity mingled with dread as Charles opened the message, his heart sinking as he watched the video attached to it. There, playing out on his phone screen, was footage taken by a tourist earlier at the YSL store. His jaw clenched in anger as he watched Y/N being treated with such disrespect, her humiliation on full display for the world to see.

He curses under his breath, his fists clenching at his sides as he paces back and forth in the living room. His mind racing with thoughts of how to address the situation.

Charles then gently takes Y/N's hands in his own, his expression softening with concern as he looks into her eyes. “Why didn't you tell me about this right away?”

Y/N's smile falters slightly, and he can see the sadness lurking behind her eyes, but she quickly masks it with a playful tone. “Ah, you know me, always trying to avoid unnecessary drama,” she says, attempting to brush off the seriousness of the situation. “Besides, sometimes people are just assholes, right?”

Her attempt at humor falls a bit flat, and Charles can't help but feel a pang of guilt for not being there to protect her. He squeezes her hands gently, his voice filled with determination. “You shouldn't have to deal with this alone, Y/N. I'm here for you.”

Y/N gives him a small, grateful smile, but he can tell she's still trying to downplay the situation. “Hey,” she says, her tone lightening, “at least people will think it's just a video of some random person being treated badly in a luxury brand store. They won't know it's Charles Leclerc's girlfriend, right? So, let's just let it go and move on.”

She tries to lighten the mood with a joke, but Charles can sense the underlying tension beneath her words. He knows she's just trying to protect him from the inevitable media storm that would follow if the video gained more traction.

But Charles can't shake the feeling of anger and frustration bubbling inside him. He wants to defend her honor, to make sure she never has to endure such treatment again.

Reluctantly, he nods, forcing a small smile of his own. “Okay chérie. Let's just focus on enjoying these cakes, shall we?”

────────────────────────────────────

The very next day, unbeknownst to Y/N, Charles decides to pay a visit to the YSL store. With a determined look in his eyes, he discreetly asks for the service of the sales assistant who humiliated Y/N.

Colette, the SA in question, practically beams with excitement and arrogance when she learns that Charles Leclerc has requested her personally. Straightening her posture, she approaches him with an air of self-importance.

“How may I be of service, Monsieur Leclerc?” Colette asks, her tone laced with enthusiasm.

Pathetic. Charles thought to himself.

He adopts a casual demeanor, pretending to browse the store as if looking for a gift for his girlfriend. “I'm looking for something special for my girlfriend,” he says casually, noting the way Colette's eyes light up at the mention of his romantic status.

Colette tries to contain her excitement, feigning nonchalance as she responds, “Oh, I wasn't aware you had a new girlfriend since your breakup with Alexandra Saint-Mleux. She is also a regular customer here.”

Charles decides to play along, a dangerous glint in his eye as he says, “Yes, my current girlfriend is a very private person. She prefers to stay out of the spotlight.”

Curiosity getting the better of her, Colette can't help but ask, “May I see a picture of her? Just in case she happens to come by, I'd love to be able to assist her.”

Charles smirks inwardly, knowing this is his moment to turn the tables. “Sure, why not?” he replies, pulling out his phone and scrolling through his gallery.

As he shows Colette a picture of himself and Y/N together, he watches with satisfaction as the color drains from her face, her eyes widening in shock and recognition.

Colette's apologies pour out in a torrent, her voice trembling as she stammers out excuses. “I-I had no idea, Monsieur Leclerc! If I had known, I would never have acted that way. Please, forgive me!”

Charles maintains a cool and collected demeanor, but his words are razor-sharp as he addresses Colette. “Your behavior reflects poorly on the brand,” he says icily, his tone dripping with disdain. “Perhaps they should consider terminating your employment for such unprofessional conduct.”

Charles's threat hangs in the air like a storm cloud, and Colette's eyes widen in alarm as she realizes the gravity of her mistake. She scrambles to salvage the situation. “Monsieur Leclerc, please, I assure you, this is not how we typically treat our customers. I'm deeply sorry for any inconvenience I've caused.”

But Charles remains unmoved, his defensive stance unwavering as he delivers his next line with a sharp edge. “I suggest you think twice before treating customers so disrespectfully in the future,” he says, his tone leaving no room for negotiation.

Colette can only nod, her eyes downcast in shame as she mumbles yet another apology.

Seeing the tension escalate, the store manager, who has been discreetly observing the commotion, rushes over to where they are. He offers his own profuse apologies, his tone filled with urgency. “Monsieur Leclerc, I am terribly sorry for the behavior of my staff. This is unacceptable, and I assure you, Colette will be disciplined for her actions.”

Charles raises an eyebrow, his expression skeptical. “Disciplined, you say? Well, I suppose that's a start. But perhaps I should take my business elsewhere, like Dior or Chanel.”

The store manager's eyes widen in alarm at the suggestion of losing such a high-profile customer. “No, Monsieur Leclerc, please, we value your patronage! I assure you, this will not happen again. Please, allow us to make it right.”

Charles offers a tight-lipped smile. “I appreciate your swift action, but I do hope this serves as a lesson for your staff moving forward.”

He then gestures towards the display. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I'd like to purchase the bag my girlfriend had her eye on.”

The store manager nods hurriedly, signaling to a nearby assistant to fetch the bag. As they scurry to fulfill Charles' request, the manager returns with a bouquet of peonies wrapped elegantly.

“Please accept these peonies as a gesture of our sincere apology,” the manager says, offering the flowers to Charles. “We hope this helps to make amends for the madame.”

Charles accepts the bouquet with a nod. “Thank you,” he says, his tone clipped. “I'm sure my girlfriend will appreciate the thoughtfulness. She's far more forgiving than I am, fortunately for you.”

────────────────────────────────────

Y/N is furiously typing away on her laptop when the front door swings open. She squints at the figure entering the room, only to catches sight of her boyfriend holding something suspiciously behind his back.

“Baby, what are you up to now?” she teases, a grin spreading across her face.

He feigns innocence. “Oh, just a little surprise for my favorite woman.”

Y/N's eyes sparkle with anticipation as she eagerly stands up, her curiosity piqued. “Oh, do tell!”

In a dramatic motion, Charles presents her with the unmistakable YSL bag. Y/N's jaw practically hits the floor as she exclaims, “Oh, no, you didn't!”

Charles chuckles, unable to contain his amusement. “Oh yes, I did, chérie. And just wait until you see what's inside!”

Excitedly, Y/N opens the bag, her eyes widening in awe as she pulls out the coveted item. She tries it on with exaggerated walk, striking poses as if she's on a runaway.

Charles watches her with a mixture of adoration and amusement, his heart swelling with love for this wonderful person.

But then, amidst her excitement, Y/N's expression turns serious as she asks about the sales assistant.

Charles adopts a mock serious tone, his eyebrows shooting up in faux concern. “Well you know, she's just taking a little timeout to contemplate the error of her ways.” he replies, his gaze flickering with a hint of satisfaction.

Y/N's eyes widen in surprise, but before she can inquire further, Charles pulls her into a warm embrace, his arms wrapping around her tightly.

“And also,” Charles adds, “they threw in some peonies.”

“Peonies? Are they trying to bribe me with flowers now?”

Charles chuckles, shaking his head. “Well, considering the ordeal you went through, I'd say they owe you a bouquet or two.”

Y/N playfully rolls her eyes. “I hope they at least remembered to include a card with a heartfelt apology from the SA.”

Charles raises an eyebrow, feigning surprise. “You mean the 'Sorry we were jerks, here are some flowers' card?”

They both dissolve into laughter, the absurdity of the situation not lost on them. It's moments like these that make even the most frustrating experiences worth it.

[inkskinned]

they don't see it, because it is around them like air. to them, it would have to be through movies, through magazines. they think it happens outside of life, like it must be selected to be interacted with.

but you discovered in the fifth grade that you couldn't wear shirts with words on them, it was an excuse for someone to look at your chest. you were catcalled before you were in middle school. sometimes you look at that memory and deny it - surely that can't be right, you were young. but you were in a skirt, so maybe that was a natural byproduct. it was a skirt from that place "justice by limited too" - a store literally for kids. it was popular around then. you wore that skirt twice and then never again.

you can't wear headphones, because what if a man wants to talk to you? there's a guy on the internet who complains that women shut themselves off from being approached. at night, you often keep the headphones positioned but with the sound off, just in case you need to hear something behind you.

you learned at 12 that you can't make eye contact, don't acknowledge the aggression. just walk faster and hope he picks on somebody else. don't wear your hair like that. do not park next to that kind of car, park an entire cityblock away if you must.

you can't go to the museum, you're sitting and tying your shoe when he approaches you and mentions that nobody understands art anymore. that in the whole world, it's just you-two. you have no recourse for eating a meal (it's rabbit food if it's salad, and someone will roll their eyes, eat a sandwich. it's pick-me behavior if it's a burger, we get it you're a cool girl). if you like mushrooms you are cottagecore, which is cheesy. if you like video games you're an egirl (similar to a pick-me). boys do not get categories, but if you point out the categories are sexist, you are told okay but these girls really exist.

it is somehow developing, a little undercurrent that you've been uncomfortable with. the nickname "karen" went from being "a white woman that uses her whiteness as a weapon, particularly against people of color," to now mean "any woman raising her voice or being even a little upset." the reappropriation of a term used specifically to call out white women for their racism has set your skin on edge. now it is just another version of "bitch," one that can be said on television. recently you saw a woman get called a karen because a drunk driver sideswiped her, and she screamed when it happened. the comments on the dashcam video all say "why do women always scream about everything." "when has the world ever been bettered by women screaming." "this fucking karen. she deserved to get hit."

in the sitcom, it's a joke that the wife is furious; slamming her hands down into the sink. i do everything around here, might as well do this too. in your house, your father is always in-his-office. before you know better, your first boyfriend is the type to say it's just easier for you. you used to beg him to take you on dates. he used to make a big deal about it, about the sacrifice of effort, even if you were the one who did most of the planning.

someone on the internet makes a "POV: the most boring person you've ever met" where he puts a towel on his head and just talks like a normal person. his impression of a boring woman is just a woman that is talking about her pretty-average life without exaggeration.

you are sometimes actually sad in the reverse, because actually you did used to struggle to pay attention in conversations. you were also easily bored of normal things, your adhd pinging off of every radio tower in the vacinity. it took time and therapy and patience, and now you delight in the small things about your friends. you like having them show you their organizational systems and talk about their taylor swift tickets. you are entertained by them because you learned to be, even though your brain is structured to only be excited by novelty. you kind of hate the idea that the reason your father will never actually pay attention to you is that you're no longer interesting. eventually the shine wore off, and you were just a person, not a spaceship. he never learned how to just, like, form an actual intimate friendship. it was always at a distance, this sense - emotional closeness was too much. (and yes. he's homophobic).

you're already tired of whatever the fuck is happening with the words "divine feminine", a rancid take that is basically just a rebranding of the patriarchy in action. what the fuck do they mean "being small and delicate and needing protection" is feminine. the words they are looking for are that they want a partner, not that their desire for equivalent support is relegated to gender. the human desire for community is not actually gendered at all. also, what fucking wolves are these "divine masculine" men even battling. fuckken taxes? shouldn't their "desire to protect" also mean "protect you from emotional neglect", or are all emotions off-limits (and how sad would that be. that's a horrible bar to set.)

and they tell you it's really not bad actually, because it's just there. they suggest you get off the internet or you stop reading that book or you stop thinking so hard about the movie or you stop just-being-a-feminist because honestly it's a killjoy sort of thing and then you tilt your head to the side and there's that little siren in the back of your head. if things were actually fine, being a feminist wouldn't put a stop to anything, it would go completely unnoticed, because you wouldn't have any comment to make about any of this

but you are ruining your own life, they tell you. also, girls don't sit like that. also, all girls are catty. also, all girls are bad drivers. also, all girls just need a cute bracelet and an iced coffee.

you do like iced coffee, is the thing. when you close your eyes, the world around you has this strange note to it. and once you hear it, it never stops ringing.

[the-mighty-e]

Okay so... I was doing a md rewatch before ep 7, and I noticed something in ep 4 that I NEVER noticed before.

In the scene where V covers up Uzi, when she sits down, I always thought she was frowning. Cuz like in ep 3 she's starting to realize that worker drones don't actually care about death anymore or smth like that.

BUT NO

SHE'S ACTUALLY SMILING IN THE SECOND IMAGE IM GONNA BE SICK

And after noticing that I started thinking back on her behavior with Uzi and realized how much she actually cares about her.

Look at her smile. She's starting to care about the workers smmmm Im crying

Okay now for Vuzi. In ep 4 V initially saw her as just a "purple thing", later on as Cyn. But probably N saying "what did I say about antagonizing her?" got her thinking. What if she was really antagonizing her? That's why she covered her with the teacher, and that's why she smiled.

Now, episode 5 doesn't have much about them. We know that V remembers stuff from her time as a worker, so we know that she got once possessed by Cyn. She would be the only drone ever to understand what Uzi is going through. (another reason why she protected her in ep 4).

This reflects in ep 6. When Alice cuts Uzi's finger she can be seen flinching.

Idk about you, but it's kinda strange for V, the most insane out of the trio, to flinch when someone's finger got cut off.

This further proves just how much V started to care about Uzi. Same when Alice and Beau died and she was trying to escape the Sentinels. She immediately rushed to save Uzi, even if she just witnessed her getting fully possessed for 5 good seconds by Cyn

She didn't have to save her. She could've ran away, leaving Uzi to be killed by the next sentinel that passed by. But she didn't. She brought her back to N and Tessa, holding her tightly

And of course.

When they saw the Doll trap.

V immediately went to protect Uzi, getting extremely worried too when she was about to use her solver

This shows just how V started to like Uzi. She initially saw her as a thread, another Cyn, a thing and a monster. But after the sky therapy she probably saw herself in Uzi. Someone who's always been alone, someone who the solver can control however it wants. A poor possessed worked, confused and scared.

Moving to her sacrifice. The very first time V called Uzi by name instead of dumb nicknames. Immediately before she was smiling after N said that they still needed her. But she didn't believe him fully. They could do well without her, she probably thought. She had done nothing but cause troubles with Uzi. She wanted to make it right

Giving her full trust to Uzi, giving her life to Uzi. She was literally half possessed by Cyn but V still decided to trust her. And then she smiled at her.

That smile, immediately after the "I trust you" meant a lot coming from V. That smile was to assure Uzi that she doesn't see her as an enemy anymore.

Okay rant is over because I'm tearing up.

I love Vuzi so much I love tragic yuri 😭

[spookysteddie]

Text Me The Details

Modern!Rockstar!Eddie Munson x Influencer!fem!reader

18+ MINORSDNI

cw: gossip magazines, reader being horny on a live stream, cocky!Eddie, drinking, drugs mention

a/n: I kinda want this to be a series? So expect a part two at some point. But yeah this isn't an original idea so, credit to literally everyone who's done this before me. I gave reader a last name because if I have to write y/l/n one more time I'll sob. ANYWAY I hope you all enjoy and let me know if you like this!

WC: 1.2k

...

You are never drinking again. Ever.

Your management would agree after what happened last night. You didn’t mean to spill the secret you’d been keeping. It wasn’t even that big of a deal, however, you had an image to keep up. The party girl, the kind one, the one with lots of friends, the girl who had good grades in college, the one who always donated most of her fortune to various organizations. 

Now, every tabloid was writing articles about your celebrity crush. 

Party girl and influencer drunkenly admits she’d love to sleep with lead singer of Corroded Coffin Eddie Munson. Sources have said they’ve been together for a while but decided to keep it under wraps. 

The dating portion of that article wasn’t true and you silently vow to figure out who the fuck these ‘sources’ were. However, you admitting to wanting to fuck Eddie… did happen. You have no one to blame but yourself. 

Now, there are three reasons why you’re so stressed about this. First, even though you party all the time, you were good. You know, like only went out on the weekends, did every single assignment, tutored people on the side, was probably the most unproblematic influencer out there. Second, the last thing you wanted was Eddie Munsons attention. You had this thing where you didn’t want the people you were fans of to perceive you. 

Theoretically you knew they did, most of them followed you on social media. But there was a difference between being a fan of someone, and them semi-knowing you vs your actual crush who you own a poster or two of? That makes you want to throw up and pass out at the same time. 

But, finally, the third reason this stressed you out was because Eddie and his crew were not good. You know like, partied every single day, smoked a lot of weed and snorted coke off of his groupies and fans. It was all over the tabloids and the band has even posted about it a time or two. You didn’t do that. And if the tabloids caught you doing that, you’d lose everything you worked towards.

“So this is how we’re going to fix it,” Case, your manager, says from where she’s standing next to the fireplace in your apartment. “You’re gonna go back on live and say it was an accident.” 

You look up from the article you were reading, eyes finding his. “That is the worst idea ever. I was tipsy not black out drunk. No one will ever believe that was an accident.” You huff, locking your phone, “and I have tickets to their show next week.” 

You loved your team, but sometimes they made the most insane comments on how to fix the unfixable. 

You stand, pacing the room, “he isn’t one to read gossip magazines. And-and I’m not on the same level as his band. They’re A listers and I’m C list at best.” 

Your manager and publicist look like fish after what you said. Anna, your publicist speaks first, “I swear to god if you ever say that again I am uppin your therapy appointments. You hear me?” 

You huff, sitting back down on the couch, “I’m not kidding though. I’m not giving up this ticket. It’s one of the few things I’m looking forward to.” 

Case answers after rubbing her temples, “you better pray this blows over without him seeing it. You may party but his partying is a whole other level.” 

… 

The call came two days later, an unknown number popping up on your phone. 

You knew, you knew before you even accepted the call who’d be on the other end of the line. 

It felt like it started in slow motion, first came the gossip mags with the original story. Then came Eddie following you on instagram. He’d like a few photos and stories you put up. Then came his interview. The interview where he said, “of course I know who she is. I’m flattered really. I hear she’s a sweet girl.” 

Now, your phone is buzzing in your hand and you can’t bring yourself to answer the phone. 

“Yes just a fucking person. Just like you’re a person. Answer the phone.” You look down at the phone and are thankful it’s just you in your house. You tap the answer button, a fake smile on your face, as you put the phone to your ear. 

“Hello?” you use your best interview voice, the one Anna has drilled into you. 

You can hear him breathe in before letting it out, long and slow, it’s clear he took a drag of his cigarette. Is he nervous too? There’s no way. Eddie always seemed to be this cool and calm guy, never afraid of anything or anyone. He gets into more fights in a week than you have in your entire 25 years of existence. 

“Good afternoon, Miss Asher.” You can hear the grin in his voice and it sends a shiver down your spine, your heart pounding in your chest. “It’s Eddie.” 

He didn’t have to introduce himself to you, you’d be able to pick out his voice in a crowded room. But only because you’ve listened to his music so often… only reason. 

“Oh! Hi! I’m s-surprised to hear from you.” You cringe at the stutter that came out of you. You had more than enough practice dealing with any situation thrown at you. From the funny to the uncomfortable to the scary. You were trained for this and you were fucking it up. “How can I help you?” 

“The band and I will be in town next friday, we’re playing a show.” You know where this is going and it makes your heart beat faster, so fast you’re scared it’ll burst. “I was wonderin’ if you were goin’?”

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuck.

“I am, actually. Me and a few of my friends actually.” You rub your hands down your sweatpants, nerves making them sweat. 

“Oh! Well that is fantastic,” his tone is chipper as hell and you know he’s high. On what, you have no idea. “I was thinkin’ that maybe ya friends and you’d wanna join us backstage. VIP area for the show? What cha think?” 

All of sudden you forget how the english language works, your tongue sticking to the roof of your mouth. This is what you’ve been wanting for so long. Well, in your dreams of course. But looking at it from a business perspective, it could bring his fans to your page and your fans to his page. It was kind of a win win. Well, win win lose because then Corroded coffin knows who the actual fuck you are and you arent just some fan. And that, terrified you,  

“Heeeeeeello? Are you there?” 

His voice breaks through your clogged mind, forcing you to respond. 

“Hi, sorry. I’m here! I um I got distracted. But, yeah that sounds great, actually. We-we’d love that.” 

“Good! I will have my people call your people, yeah?” 

“O-or you can just send me the information,” you say it before thinking and now you really want to punch yourself. 

He chuckles to himself, “okay, sweetheart, I’ll text you the information. See you next friday.” 

He hangs up before you can say another fucking stupid thing. You press the phone into your hands, foot bouncing on the floor with nerves. You can think of seven different ways that conversation could’ve (and should’ve) happened. One of which was with your entire team, another being with your friends, another being with your parents. Not alone to make a fool out of yourself. Your management team was really going to kill you.

[writerswall26]

First Time In Years

Synopsis: Y/N is an action star who's dubbed as Tom Cruise Jr. she was in a relationship with Jenna for a while before the two of them broke up due to Jenna's uprising status in the industry. The two of them happened to bump into each other at an award show and time stopped when they saw each other again.

Warning: Bad writing, Feels.

Words: 1.1k

Masterlist

A/N: I was feeling a bit bored then this popped in my head so I thought I'd share it to you guys. Happy Reading!

You've been away from the entertainment lime light for a couple of years because of an accident that happened in a production you were doing a few years ago.

During those times you were down and under, one person stuck by your side and supported you, from recovery, to therapy, to getting back in shape. You'd never ever forget that person, she was the one for you, you believed that. But fate had something instilled for the both of you. She was an uprising superstar, you did not want to hold her back. So you did what you thought was best at the time, you broke up with her.

A few years back, you were not so sure you're gonna be back into doing action films due to an accident you had on a set that left you bed bound for at least 3 months. You thought your time in doing actions was done by that point. But here you are, leading a sequel from one of the best action films of all time, Top Gun: Maverick. Your Godfather pushed you to be in this movie, quoting "you're gonna be my successor, I want you in this movie". So yeah, what Tom Cruise asks, he shall get. And today, you're back in an award show with your castmates.

Today, you're gonna have to face that person again. You're not entirely sure what would happen, or if anything would happen at all. You haven't seen her since you two broke up, but you did follow her activities. Watch her series, movies, anything that would update you of what she's been up to. And you couldn't be more proud of what success she'd had. She was becoming a household name and she's still getting bigger and bigger as the time goes by.

So, when you saw her being interviewed wearing a wonderful dress, you could not help but stare, you're shameless about that, but can you blame yourself? She was looking beautiful. She looked more mature now, her long hair cut shorter, she looked more of a woman now, it's crazy what time did to her. She looked more beautiful, she's always been beautiful in your eyes.

"Stop staring and start approaching, kid." She heard Miles whisper in her ears.

Y/N turned to her castmate and gave out a chuckle. "I don't think that's a wise idea."

Miles looked confused. "Why is that?"

Y/N shrugged. "Let's just say we want to leave it where it was left." She said before she walked on. Miles was still confused as he followed her inside with their team.

"So, who's that girl you were looking at lovingly outside?" Glen asked as soon as they got to their table.

Y/N groaned, not wanting this topic to be the talk of the entire night.

"She's just... some I used to know, okay?" She told them, pleading for them to stop asking questions.

The older men and women got the signal as soon as they heard her frustrated voice, and thankfully, they did not continue to ask.

The entire show, Y/N would steal glances to look at the girl she's watching outside. She couldn't help it. It's been so long. Of all the places, she never thought she'd be seeing her here, with a guy she knows has been linked to the girl.

"I'm gonna go to the toilet real quick." Y/N told her mates and went without waiting for a reply.

She did her business and was about to leave when she stopped on her track as she was face to face with the girl she's been eyeing the entire time. She looked as shocked as Y/N, her eyes widened.

Should've tried to hold it in. Y/N thought.

The two of them stood there, in the middle of the comfort room, staring at each other with wide eyes. No one made an attempt to move, or even to speak. It's like they're stuck in a dimension where they're just there, standing and staring at each other.

Y/N was the first to move, to get back to her senses. She gave out a small chuckle, thinking how dumb they probably look inside the toilet room, just staring at each other.

She cleared her throat, getting the attention of the girl in front of her. "Well, you look extremely lovely." Y/N said genuinely, smiling.

The girl in front of her giggles as well, her dimples showing. Y/N always loved those cute dimples, and she most definitely loved the sound of those cute giggles.

"It's so weird that the first time I see you after so long, we're in a comfort room." Jenna said, giving out a giggle again, lowering her head, shaking it lightly.

Y/N laughed with Jenna as well. The two of them looked like madmen inside the comfort room.

"How have you been?" Y/N asked when they finally calmed down.

Jenna's smile never left her face. "Good. I've been good. You?"

Y/N nodded. "I'm getting by. Trying to get back on my feet."

Jenna nodded, then she looked at Y/N from head to toe. She never thought she would see the taller girl again. Ever since they broke up, Y/N seemingly went under the radar, like she was hiding, not wanting anyone to find her. But here she was, standing tall and healthy.

"I saw the film. I thought you weren't gonna get back to it. Was afraid I'd heard on the news that you broke something again." Jenna admitted, making Y/N's heart jump at the thought that Jenna was still worried about her after all these times.

"I wasn't expecting to get back in action as well. Just tried to bring back the old me, but did not expect to get back."

Jenna nodded. "What made you take the film?"

Y/N grinned. "Tom Cruise."

Jenna giggled again. "Ah, of course. Can never say no to the godfather." She said, causing the both of them to share a small laugh.

"You realize we're really catching up inside a freakin' comfort room, right?" Y/N said, giving Jenna one of those weird looks she loves to give.

"Yeah, I know it's weird, and disgusting."

Y/N just shook her head. She stared at Jenna for a moment, taking all of her in. She's still as beautiful as before, maybe even more. But one thing's for sure, she's still the Jenna she knows, nothing has changed.

"Congratulations on everything you've achieved. I'm extremely proud." Y/N turned serious, but the smile on her face never left.

"Congratulations on getting back to the screen, I'm extremely proud." Jenna replied.

The two of them stared at one another, before Y/N broke their eye contact.

"I'll see you around, Jenna." She finally spoke.

"See you around, Y/N."

And they both left it at that. Their hearts are full knowing the sacrifice both of them made blossomed into something bigger than they both expected. That would stay in both their hearts forever.

[universalitgirlsblog2]

👑🩰MOVIE THERAPY👑🩰

-In this post, I want to mention the lessons I learnt from two beautiful movies - Queen and English Vinglish. I HIGHLY RECOMMEND these movies!!!! Both the movies start with women who are timid , stuck in their past , trying to please others , lack self love , dependent on others but in the end they become independent, confident and develop self love. Isn't that wonderful ?

Let's start from Queen movie starring Kangana Ranaut, Rajkumar Rao and Lisa Haydon. It's about a girl named Rani who was dumped by her fiance and she decides to go on honeymoon, all by herself

1) If they leave you, it's not the end of the world.

Rani's fiance dumped her just before the wedding, ofc she was heartbroken and locked herself in room . After that she decided to go to honeymoon, all by herself! She went to the same place where she was supposed to go after her marriage - Amsterdam , Paris . I know it hurts , when a close one , whether it's your fiance , boyfriend, girlfriend , best friend etc leaves your side with/without any reason. As once a wise women said , you lose people who aren't meant for the best version of you . Even if they leave, you have to enjoy your own company and continue with your own life . Vijay aka Rani's fiance cancelling the wedding was a blessing in disguise . Also if they left without any reason or if they were just embarrassed by you , they didn't deserve you at all .

2) YOU ARE COMPLETE ON YOUR OWN

Yes , here is a spoiler from the movie , Rani doesn't end up with any new guy or gets married to her ex fiance. Infact , she becomes independent and free. You are whole on your own. You are complete on your own , you don't need anyone to complete you. You are a queen/king and will always remain one ! You can be happy on your own. You don't need anyone or their approval.

3) Have fun with friends , don't judge each other

Rani met VijayLaxmi , Olexander or ( Sikander🐵) , Taka and time. Their friendship was perfect example of "opposites attract " . However , despite the differences, she never judged them because she knew they were good human beings , deep inside .

4) A make over is never a bad idea !

A makeover can make you feel confident in yourself. The way you present and take care of yourself also shows how much you love and respect yourself. So wear a pretty pink dress and straight your hair or maybe curl them , whatever you like ! Also REMEMBER YOU ARE DOING IT FOR YOUUU!!!!!!!🧁💖

5) Step outside of your comfort zone

Why?? You don't grow in your comfort zone. Rani stepped out of her native country and tralleveled all alone to a country where she was supposed to go with her ex fiance. Remember Great things never come from comfort zone.

6) Free yourself

Be independent. Love yourself. Respect yourself. There is a scene in the movie where Rani rejects her fiance when he comes back while they play a beautiful and meaningful song in background . That scene represents Rani's walk of liberation. Rani finally became independent, learnt to love herself and be her own person !!

7) " Thank you " - Rani, Queen 2013

Rani thanks her fiance when he comes back to her. No, she doesn't take him back . She finally realized that if he didn't cancel the marriage, she would have never become her highest self which was confident , full of self love and independent. It was truly a blessing in disguise. Say thank you to all those hurtful past experiences, those experiences made you wiser. Say thank you to all the people who left you at your worst because they made you realize that you only need one person and that's YOU !

Lessons learnt from English vinglish , starring Sridevi . It's about a woman named Shashi who didn't receive any respect from her family peers for not knowing English. She was also timid and often mistreated by her daughter and not appreciated enough by her own husband.

1) Step out of your comfort zone

Shashi went to New York inorder to attend her sister's wedding but she couldn't speak or understand English. She went to a country where she didn't know how to communicate with anyone. You must get comfortable with the uncomfortable.

2) Turn your weakness into strength

Shashi was mocked by her own family for not knowing English. She took English classes and learnt English. She was committed and determined to learn English so she succeeded . She gave a meaningful speech in English too which shocked her daughter and her husband whereas some people were proud of her - her little son , her other cousin Radha , her English teacher and class peers. Later , her family also felt bad for mistreating like and they developed respect for her . Also please respect your parents , don't humiliate them for not knowing something or anything. The scene where Shashi cried because her daughter disrespected her were so painful to watch .

3) Don't allow others to degrade your hobbies / Job

Shashi was never appreciated for her being good at making sweets and her buisness was going pretty well but she never got the appreciation she deserved and was degraded by her own husband for being called " entrepreneur ". If you like something and if it is beneficial to you too , then don't care what others are saying , even if it's someone from your family.

3) Self love

Shashi summarized it in few words which hit hard so I will just end this post with her quote

" When you don't like yourself, you tend to dislike everything associated with you . New things seem to be more attractive , but once you start loving yourself , the same old life begins to feel new and good "

-Shashi , English Vinglish , 2012

[bloggingboutburgers]

Hey, allo anon with an ace partner here. I wanted to say thank you so much for the well wishes! I figured I would send this in here again, so anyone else who is curious about what this experience looks like from the other side can see it.

My girlfriend came out to me a little over 2 years into our relationship. At the time it surprised me a lot, because she'd never given me any signs that she wasn't enjoying what we were doing. After we talked more I understood that she wasn't repulsed by sex and she didn't hate it, but she didn't really love it either and wanted to stop doing it for a while (so a sex-neutral ace).

Honestly, at the time, I did get anxious about it. Not just because of social conventions, but because I had viewed sex as an important bonding part of our relationship. I don't do well with change, and I was super worried about how a lack of sex would change our dynamic. I also had some insecurities about my own body, and my girlfriend admitting that she didn't see me as sexy was upsetting. But after speaking to my therapist, I realized that I was projecting my own issues on to the relationship. So I spoke with her again, and she reassured me that she wanted to be with me, and that she was confiding these feelings because she trusted me. She likes how I look, she just doesn't have the same sexual impulses I do.

So, I realized this was pretty much like cuddling. I love physical touch a lot, and I want to cuddle for a much longer time than she does. I like it when someone lies on top of me. She doesn't want me on top of her chest during cuddling. She still cuddles with me, but she tells me when she's satisfied, and we stop.

A few months went by, and I noticed that she wasn't spending any less time with me; she was actually spending more. We would still call every evening when we didn't meet up in person, we would still joke around, and she still told me she loved me and did everything she could to show it to me. We also began trying out new stuff together, and playing games and watching stuff more often. We also still had plenty of physical intimacy with things like cuddling and kissing, which made me really happy.

I realized that I didn't feel like anything was missing from the relationship. I just needed her to show and tell me she loved me in the ways she normally did. Sure, I am still attracted to her that way, but it wasn't something that would make or break the relationship.

It's been years since she came out, and at this point, I never expect anything sexual. It happens rarely, and I always check in with her multiple times before and during. We stop at any point she tells me. There are quite a few hard boundaries about what is and isn't off limits, and I always keep them in mind. I would rather satisfy myself forever than make her uncomfortable, and she knows it.

It's been over 5 years and we are still going strong. I am hoping to ask her to marry me in the next few years, because honestly, I can't picture wanting anyone else by my side. She is kind, funny, beautiful, intelligent, and treats me well. I could never ask for anything more from a partner.

Thank you SO MUCH for sharing. I myself definitely lack knowledge of what it feels like from an allo's perspective, so this was very educational for me, but beyond that... You have no idea how much hope this gives me.

From you being aware of how much sex meant to you in the context of your relationship and still being fine without it, to just... Heck, even your therapist for not blaming her for the situation. Therapy is still very much, in my country at least, an area where the absence or lower levels of sexual attraction will be hastily labelled as something wrong physically or mentally, so... Yeah, the amount of relief I felt reading that, you have no idea. And I can only imagine how much your partner appreciates it too.

Honestly I teared up a bit reading this - I sincerely wish you guys all the best and I hope you have a bright future ahead! (Also fun fact, seems you guys have been together as long as my partner and I have, it's nice to be able to relate to that too hehe^^)

[thedragondawn]

the one that didn't get away - Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Words: 780

Fluff, angst

A/N: This is a belated birthday gift for my dear @iosonoarina 💕💕

taglist: @iosonoarina @stefroutledge @blackwidow-3

taglist || ko-fi

War was over.

The Avengers had won. Well, Thanos was defeated and now it was time to mourn the losses and go back to the world that they had known before the snap. A world that part of Natasha didn’t believe would ever come back.

Now there was hope again. Hope that she would find you home, safe and sound and things would pick up from where you’d left them before Thanos had almost destroyed everything. Hope that she would find you home and that you’d still love her. 

Hope that everything will be okay.

**

“Banner, I’m fine, let me go.” Natasha insisted, wanting to be cleared so she could make it home to her apartment - a place where she’d barely slept as it felt like a haunted museum without you in it. A museum holding the memories you two had made, a museum reminding her of how empty her life was without you.

“You will come back for more testing tomorrow, you hit your head.” 

“My head is fine but yours won’t be if you keep me here.” 

“Fine, fine. Go.” Bruce lifted his arms in defeat.

Natasha stole the keys to one of Tony’s cars and drove off, speeding towards her old apartment. She had no phone on her and the closer she got to that apartment, the more her pulse raced.

Her heart stopped completely when she pulled up in front of the apartment building and saw you emerge from the door.

“Nat..” Nat saw you whisper and ran out of the car, wrapping her bruised body around yours. She started shaking as relief flooded every cell of her body.

“Любимая…” Natasha repeated over and over again as the two of you held each other in the middle of the sidewalk. She didn’t care that her body ached from the long battle, she didn’t care that there was so much that she still needed to do. No. There was you, solid and breathing in her arms. The scent of you enveloping her, your presence finally anchoring her home after so many years of drifting.

You cupped her face gently, scanning and making sure that she was whole, that she wasn’t a dream.

“What happened?” You asked but your question was silenced with a desperate kiss which you reciprocated just as passionately.

“It was a bad time.” Nat caressed your face gently, your heart breaking when you felt her hands shaking against your skin, touching you almost with a reverence.

“I’m here. We’ll handle it.” You reassured her before leading her back into the apartment.

**

Time went on. The two of you were almost inseparable and it came as a huge relief to you when Natasha announced that she will step back from the Avengers. There would be less shadows haunting you two. 

“You’re staring.” Yelena scolded her older sister as you were making tea in the kitchen of your apartment.

“Mind your own business.” Nat bit back playfully.

“You’re so in love, I could puke.” Yelena made a gagging face.

“You’ll find your person too.” Nat winked at her and then moved her gaze back to you.

“I can’t believe that you two made it.” Yelena commented.

“Why?” You asked, looking at your future sister-in-law. The two of you had grown closer in the months after endgame, and in your new home with Natasha, Yelena had her own room, which she joked was as if she was your pet.

“Because the world tried to tear you apart yet you resisted.” 

“No, Thanos tried to tear us apart, we finished his stupid grape face.” Nat argued. 

Her comment made the three of you laugh. There was still lingering darkness from the time of the snap and the final battle, but Nat frequented therapy and you knew that it would all work out.

“So, did you set a date for the big day?” Yelena looked at you and Nat all snuggled up on the couch.

“No, we are not rushing.” 

“Are you tempting fate?” Yelena teased petting your orange cat who plopped herself on the floor next to her.

“She is the one that didn’t get away. There’s no doubt about that.” Natasha smiled and pressed a soft kiss to your temple. She’d had other relationships before meeting you but her soul knew that she’d found home with you the moment she’d laid eyes on you and getting you back was something that she would have given up everything for.

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily.” You teased, even though Natasha could see the tears shining in your eyes.

“Good.” Nat kissed you gently.

“Lord, save me.” Yelena muttered, bursting your little bubble and lightening the mood. 

[deleteddewewted]

Fuck it, we are being self-indulgent tonight:

Feminization Hawks (Post-War Arc)

Hawks x Fem! Reader

W: NSFW, Feminization, Body Worship, Sub! Hawks, Dom! Reader, Mommy Kink, Princess/Baby/Pretty Girl, Power Bottom Reader, Subby Top Hawks

Commissions: Open! (You can commission me on Ko-fi!)

He feels self-conscious about his body since he's so burnt and scarred up.

He thinks that you lost any attraction to him once he lost his undamaged body and his wings.

He doesn't like his prosthetics at all but wears them around you just because he wants you to see him like he looked before everything went to shit.

He feels gross. His body, his face, his back, his truth. Everything feels gross and tainted and he doesn't like any of it because of it.

You've got the truth about him in a way he didn't want you to find out but there it was, all in the open for you to judge and see.

You didn't leave his side at all. You were there with him in the hospital, you went to every single physical therapy he had and even for his prosthetic appointments.

You called him beautiful and it set his insides on fire because he didn't believe you and at the same time understood that everything you said was true.

He felt beautiful but only when you said he was.

He felt pretty but only when you touched his face and kissed his burns.

He wanted to feel small and protected and you managed to do that without much effort.

You caressed his body and kissed his face softly as if he'd break if you gave him too much attention.

He moaned at how you massaged his wings base and tenderly hovered your fingers over the scarring around the area.

"Y/n, please." His voice trembled and his eyes watered as he gripped onto you.

He felt disgusting for a moment but you kept giving him so much love and attention he couldn't think about anything other than you.

"Please, don't leave me." He whispered.

He discovered he liked being at your mercy.

He also discovered he liked feminity.

He's worn makeup and he's done lingerie shoots during the prime modeling part of his career but he had never thought about wearing any for himself or at home.

He liked eyeliner and blush. It brought his face together, making him look sweet and soft.

He liked the softness of the lingerie he had bought and the red color that the fabric had. He enjoyed how it hugged his legs and his chest, his dick looked nice as it was tucked into a thong.

He was scared to show you that he liked these things at first but after you had him screaming your name and calling you "mistress" and "mommy" he knew better.

He showed you his dress collection and all the other ultra-feminine.

He asked you for your help to put on his favorite skirt and to put on the eyeliner he liked.

He would do this casually around you.

Wearing more feminine clothes and it slowly led to you using more feminine titles for him.

He didn't mind it at all.

He'd keen and coo at the new names and terms of endearment.

"Come here princess" or "My pretty girl." had him squeezing his legs together for friction.

In bed, that's where the changes were noticeable.

He didn't hide from you anymore. His body was all for you to enjoy and to do as you pleased with.

He liked hearing how pretty you thought his burns where and how gorgeous his wings, be it burnt and never as glossy or full as they used to be, look on him.

"Come here, pretty girl. Don't hide from me. Let mommy see her pretty little thing." He came as you pushed his hand away from his face and kissed him, tongue and all as he arched into your hand.

He cried from overstimulation as you fucked his ass open all while telling him he was your cute pillow princess.

Even when you both switched positions the dynamic stayed the same.

"Mommy, please. Let me squirt, mommy. Please." He was out of breath and he knew he was going to come if he fucked into you anymore.

He was wearing a tight-cropped shirt that showed his perked nipples in combination with a short skirt that was covered in his release.

Your pussy was covered in cum and some of it dripped out of you as he slapped his hips against yours.

His grip was bruising as he held onto your waist.

He shook with every thrust and pull, your insides warm and tight around him.

"Don't stop, baby. Cum inside Mommy again. Do it for me, baby. Can you do that for mommy?" He nodded at you and came inside you one last time before collapsing on top of you.

His forehead was sweaty and his hair clung to it.

His wings drooped over you both like a tattered blanket and his face was pressed against your neck.

You could feel him empty himself inside of you, his seed dripping out as he lay still.

"You did such a good job for me, princess. I'm so proud of you for being such an obedient girl." He pruned at your praise and held you close as he fell asleep.

This was something for just the two of you.

He didn't want anyone else to see him like this, the vulnerable and beautiful person you saw him for.

He wanted to keep this special, to yourselves.

He wanted to keep being your good girl no matter what, no matter how ugly everyone else might think he looked now that he had lost his appeal and his trust.

You were there for him and he was yours to keep.

[saintkiri]

summary: you felt numb after eren walked through your apartment door. you thought you would never find love again..well..eren wasn’t love. it was everything BUT love. he used you and ended up cheating. you have so many questions that you know you’ll never get the answer to. after a night out drinking with friends..you ended up finding love just outside the door where you watched eren leave.

content warnings: cheating, smut (begging, multiple orgasms, spanking, unprotective sex (wrap it before you tap it!), aftercare) toxic!eren, mentions of therapy, praying to God, anxiety, throw up (?). if i miss anything, lmk :)

wc: 5.6k

author note: …so it’s been 2 years since I’ve actually written and posted something. I meant to post this almost 2 years ago & I promised you guys I would post it & I never did. but, life was crazy and I am still adjusting. Anywhos, don’t expect much from me writing. I am glad to be back even tho I’m not 😭

part one (pls read so this can make sense)

taglist | aot masterlist

When Eren walked past that door, you felt like you lost a piece of you. The last thing he told you made you feel even more stupider than you have ever felt. 

‘The moment I laid my eyes on her, I stopped loving you.’

That sentence kept repeating over and over again. 

You closed the door, and fell. Your back sliding against the door until you were sitting on the ground waiting for the tears to come. But, they never did. You were so numb and shocked, that you couldn’t shed a single tear. 

Your life and emotions relied on him. He made you feel everything you craved. 

It didn’t make sense. He stopped loving you the moment he laid his eyes on someone else. 

What made her so perfect? 

Eren would always made comments saying that you were the girl of his dreams. How could he say all the right things just to cheat? 

You lost track of time, you sat against the door in silence, watching the apartment go from dark to light. You were so numb, you couldn’t sleep. It felt like he drained every emotion out of you with a sentence. All it took was one sentence to change you. 

The memories of you and him kept running pass your thoughts. As you watched time go by, it was as if the ghost of you and him were running through the apartment. It hurt. You remembered all the laughs, all the times where he made your heart feel so warm and full. 

But now, how can your heart go from that feeling over never ending lust to feeling cold and empty?

~~

It’s been about six months since Eren. It’s been hard to say the least. For the first month, you couldn’t even recognize yourself. You couldn’t stop thinking about him all day. It was always either you replaying his last words to you, replaying the argument, or all the times you should have realized he was cheating on you. 

Slowly, you grew. It took you a while to get back up on your feet. It took you a while to get used to a life without him. You never really realized how much you relied on him. Your friends helped you move on and get back to your life. 

You would gradually throw away Eren’s stuff during the first three months. First, it was the pictures and little momentums. You burned and threw out all the polaroids, all the gum wrapper hearts he would make, all the receipts, and every physical memory. It was weird because when you and Eren broke up, you would randomly find those hearts wherever around the apartment. You would keep them in a jar on your dresser, and slowly throughout the relationship, the jar kept getting filled to the point where you needed a new one. After the breakup, when you would find one, you would throw it out. 

Every time you threw one out, a little piece of your heart went with it and you couldn’t explain why. 

The day you finally decided to move on hurt you just as bad as the day Eren and you broke up. You were burning away not only the bad memories but the core memories. The polaroid picture from your first kiss, the rose he got you for your first date, the first movie ticket. Every single physical memory was being turned to ash. Jean and Mikasa helped you light the match and watched everything burn with you. You didn’t cry at first, and you didn’t start crying until they both left. 

You closed the door, thanking them for being there for you..and for pushing you to move on. Although your heart was breaking, you still managed to smile. As soon as the door closed, you were back at the same position you were six months ago. Your back against the door, still somehow wishing that this was just some sick joke. 

Tears were running down your face. You would wipe them just for there to be more. You sobbed in the same position. At this point, it felt like a routine. You would try your hardest to get over Eren, no matter what you would do to get over him, the memories haunt you. 

Slowly, you stopped crying. You don’t know how long you sat there, it could have been minutes or hours. You eventually stood up, then you walked to your kitchen as if nothing happened. The first thing you grabbed was to go to your cabinet to get a glass when suddenly you heard someone talking on the phone outside of your apartment. The voice sounded familiar, it was deep yet somehow smooth. 

You put down the glass and walked back to the door. You then looked out of the peephole to see Jean sitting on the ground across from your apartment. Your eyes widened slightly, wondering why he was there. You opened the door, seeing Jean’s facial expressions. He looked tired, concerned, mad, everything you were feeling right now. 

“Jean?” You say softly, while you were watching Jean slowly get up. He walked towards your door not saying much. But yet, the silence says it all. “H-How long were you sitting there for?” You opened the door some more to let him in. “Just long enough so I know you stopped crying because of him.” Your heart dropped. 

How long has he been doing this? That was the first question that came to mind. You were having mixed emotions right now. How were you supposed to feel? Although your heart felt somewhat warm, you were also feeling untrustworthy. 

Jean walked to your dining table and leaned against it. He then crossed his arms. You walked to your kitchen, "Do you want something to drink?" It was the least you offer, especially since he was sitting outside for who knows how long. "Do you have any alcohol?" He joked, and a small chuckle left your mouth. You grabbed another glass, then walked over to your counter to grab some alcohol.

You opened the bottle, then poured some for you and Jean. You handed Jean his glass, "Why do you wait?" You asked while taking a small sip. Jean stayed quiet, most likely trying to think of an answer. There was this moment of awkward silence. 

Before you and Eren started dating, you and Jean were best friends. You and him have been friends for years, but when Eren came along, your friendship changed. Eren became possessive and toxic. He didn't like how close you were with Jean. So eventually, you stopped talking to Jean. 

But, when you and Eren broke up, Jean came running to be right by your side. Although you and Jean stopped talking, Jean never stopped wanting to protect you, he never stopped watching over you, and never stopped loving you even after seeing you with another man. 

Jean has had feelings for you since he met you. There's always been this little spark between the both of you. Eventually, that spark grew to be something more. He always tried to protect you. He would try to tell you what Eren was doing behind your back but you wouldn't listen to him in fear of Eren seeing you two together. 

"I wait because I'm worried, y/n." 

"Why are you worried, Jean?"

Jean took another sip of his liquid courage and walked towards you. You walked backward until you reached the counter. "Because you were crying over a man who didn't deserve you." Jean softly confessed. Your heart skipped a beat. Slowly, your eyes locked with Jean's hazel eyes. His expression was gentle with a mix of protectiveness..and a mix of love. "Then who deserves me?" You responded, feeling a rush of emotions come over you. 

Your heart started racing as Jean leaned in closer to you. Was it the alcohol? Was it the fact that Jean is right about you getting over Eren? 

Jean's hands were placed on top of the counter, cornering you. His right hand found its way to your hip. His lips inched towards yours, “You deserve someone who takes your breath away every time you look at him. Someone who makes you laugh, smile, feel every emotion that Eren didn’t.” Your eyes lock with his, feeling his breath against your lips. “I-I’t’s you..” You whisperingly confessed. Suddenly, he kissed you with passion, feeling sparks fly. Your noses bumped into each other as little giggles left your mouths. You wrapped your arms around the back of his neck. His lips tasting like the alcohol you were just drinking a moment ago. Your lips move with his, for the first time in what felt like months, this was the kiss you've been dreaming of. The kiss that makes you feel like you're on cloud nine, the kiss that makes time go by slowly, the kiss that makes all the others seem non-existent. 

You felt Jean's hands pick you up and place you on the counter, "Are you drunk?" You asked as his lips found their way to your neck, gently kissing and leaving hickeys. Jean stopped his movement, as a small smile spread on his face. The smile you missed, the smile you practically dreamt of, the smile that never failed to make you smile. "No." He answered, as he slowly dragged his thumb across your bottom lip, "Are you?" He asked in return, you nodded, not knowing how to respond. 

Jean's free hand moved towards your buttoned pants, "No answer?" He asked with a sly smirk on his face. Your mind went blank. His fingers played with the button as he leaned in to whisper in your ear, "I'm going to ask one last time, y/n. Are you drunk?" You coughed out a response, "N-No. No, I'm not, Jean." A laugh left his mouth. 

"Good, because I don’t want our first time to be while you're drunk." He whispered again. Just like that, his lips were on yours. This time, that once soft kiss was now a kiss full of meaning. You don't know what came over yourself...and right now you weren't thinking about that. You were thinking about how soft his lips were, how his lips were on yours, and how you felt at that moment. 

Jean picked you off the counter, and for a moment, all emotions that you had left for Eren had left your mind and all you can think about was Jean. 

That kiss made you realize one thing. 

It's always been...him. 

It's always been Jean since the first day you laid your eyes on him. You were blinded by Eren. You were blinded by the fact that a very popular guy finally chose you. You were wrong..and now you want to spend the rest of your life making it up to Jean. 

As he walked into your bedroom, your legs were wrapped around Jean's waist. He gently placed you on the bed, his lips finally leaving yours for a split second, "Finally, you're mine." You could cry with pure happiness. It was the happiness you never felt with Eren..but only with him. 

You gave him a small and gentle peck, whispering softly, "Finally." You both smiled as you went back to kissing. His lips never left yours. If they did leave yours, they would end up moving and peppering kisses on your neck, as he slowly ripped away each item of clothing off of your body. 

The tip of his index finger teased the top of your panties. You roll your hips, "J-Jean.." You moaned out softly, hoping he would get the hint. A sly smile grew on his face, chuckling slightly at how much you were begging for him. "God, y/n." He whispers in your ear as his lips move at a slow rate.

His fingers inch more and more towards where you wanted him to touch you most. You were getting impatient, all you wanted was to feel him. You moved your hands when suddenly Jean pinned them above your head. 

The sexual tension was so thick. As much as he wants to fuck you, he wants to take his time. 

Your eyes meet, "Please touch me, Jean." You begged. His eyes read yours, and that's when he lost all control. Fuck taking his time, he wanted you just as much as you wanted him. He moved his hand from pinning yours to taking off your panties. 

It all happened so fast. One moment Jean was taking his time, devouring you inch by inch, finally getting what he's been dreaming of since he realized he had a crush on you. 

Jean moved to the edge of the bed, and in one sudden motion, your thighs were wrapped around his neck. His lips peppered kisses on your inner thighs, moving closer to your aching clit. 

He flatted his tongue and in one lick, he had you melting and moaning his name. That one moan sent him over, he wanted to hear you say it over and over again. This moment will be embedded in his brain for who knows how long. 

Your fingers brush through his brunette locks, highly tugging at the roots, "Fuck, Jean." You moaned out as Jean's tongue circled your clit, making your mind and body melt. You felt his fingers add into the mix, moving slowly, pressing against the spot that makes you lose control. 

He was in between your legs, lewd noises were the sound that was echoing in the room, pleads, begs, screams and moans.

His long, slim fingers thrust into you, making you moan louder and louder. Jean was loving the way your moans sounded. It was like music to his ears. 

Over and over again, you were chanting Jean's name. It was every time he hit that spot, you would scream his name in pleasure. 

Jean replaced his tongue with thumb and admired the view ahead of him, "God, you're so fucking hot, y/n." He said as your eyes met with his. A sly smile spread on his face while watching your reaction to his compliment. Your lip slid between your teeth, trying your hardest to hold back your moans.

He replaced his thumb back with tongue, and your head fell back onto the bed, feeling his tongue explore your cunt again.  Your hands then roamed your body, finding their place over your mouth. You then began to slightly ride his mouth.

A familiar feeling began to stir in your stomach. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your toes curled, feeling his finger movements begin to speed up. 

You were speechless, you couldn't spit out a word, it felt that good. Finally, you spit out the words, "W-Wanna cum, so-so bad." Jean sped up his movements, moving his mouth off of your core, then crawling in between your legs, moving up until you were face to face. 

His fingers didn't stop moving as he kissed you. Your moans were muffled by the kiss. "Cum on my fingers, y/n." He didn’t have to tell you twice. You came on his fingers, and instantly, your legs started shaking. 

Jean got off the bed, and you held yourself up with your elbows, watching him pull down his boxers, and your jaw instantly dropped. His dick was big, probably the biggest one you've seen. He was mesmerized by your reaction to his size. 

Your eyes locked with his as you sat up. You grabbed his arm and immediately pulled him into a kiss, your arms wrapped around his neck, feeling Jean slowly spreading your legs. 

His lips left yours for a split second, "Are you on the pill?" You nodded, "Are you clean?" You asked as his hand inching towards your aching cunt. He nodded, kissing you back in response. 

"Good, now I want you to beg for it, y/n." You smiled slightly because thought he was joking. You wanted him obviously, your body was practically begging for him. The tip of his dick teased your sensitive clit, and a quiet moan left your lips.

You lifted your hips, trying to get more out of him. Your smile disappeared when you realized he wasn't kidding, he was dead serious. You looked into his eyes, and his sparkle was gone. 

"P-Please." you said desperately. Jean raised his eyebrow, "That's all you got? C'mon, y/n. Your body is practically begging for me..." His lips inched towards yours, "But, I want to hear you beg for my cock." His words hit straight to your core. "Please, Jean. Please fuck me. I-I want you so-so much." 

Jean chuckled as he moved the tip of his dick in between your folds, “Where do you want it, princess?” He said as he kept teasing your aching cunt. You buck your hips against the tip of his cock, begging for some sort of friction. You look up and all you see is his desperate eyes on yours. “I want you to fuck me with your cock.” He chuckles, “Good girl.” he praised, and in one swift motion, he finally slid into your cunt. You both moaned. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and the bottom of your lip slid in between your teeth. 

He bottomed out, hitting the spot that made you scream his name. With each thrust, came a moan. "F-Fuck, Jean!" You said as he pounded his cock into you. 

You dug your fingers into his back, slowly moving them up, making sure to leave a mark. Jean inhaled sharply, "So fucking t-tight, y/n." Jean said as he kept bottoming out into you, hitting your g-spot over and over again. 

Jean's lips found their way to yours, the kiss was deep. It was almost like he was trying to devour you as if you were his last meal. Although the kiss was deep, it had a meaning. You were his, you belonged to him. And, you were okay with that. Jean moved his lips from your throat and then moved to his next position. He grabbed your ankles and placed them on his shoulder, hitting your g-spot at a different angle. 

He kissed your ankle as he kept pounding into you. The view in front of you looked so hot. He was hitting all the places that made your mind go blank. “Fuck.” Jean moaned. His moans made you want to exploded right then and there. He moved your legs and by habit you wrap them around this waist. 

“This pussy was made for me, y/n.” Jean expressed in the nook of your neck, peppering kisses, sucking softly. Your fingers raked through his locks, lightly tugging. “J-Jean..harder.” You begged. You wanted him to fuck you like no other could. You wanted him to make you forget about Eren. 

His thrusts slow down making you whimper. Jean flips you on your stomach, “Grab onto the headboard.” He demanded. You wrap your fingers around the cold metal bars, “Please.” You begged. Jean chuckled as you felt his dick slam into you again. You practically scream, feeling the bed shift slightly. Jean’s hands find their place in your hair. His finger wraps around your hair, making a make-shift ponytail, tugging at your roots. You moan feeling his dick hit a new spot from the new position he has you in. 

You suddenly felt a harsh slap on your ass, you wince from he pain..but, you wanted more of it. Sounds of slapping skin fill the room, “Keep milking my cock, y/n.” You clench around his cock with every thrust. 

You could feel your orgasm building up, feeling Jean’s hand leave your hair, then snaking to your clit. “You gonna’ cum, princess?” You nod, not being able to find the words. You felt another harsh slap on your ass, “Words.” He warned. Jean’s movements on your clit made your toes curl, making you moan loudly. 

“Yes, I-I need to cum..so so bad.” You felt his thrust fasten, knowing he was close too. He instantly flips you over again, feeling his lips on yours. You wrap yours around his neck, “Cum for me, princess.” That’s all it took. Your legs started trembling as your orgasm unraveled. Jean emptied his load into you, letting you ride out your orgasm. 

His lips found yours again as he pulled out. This kiss was different. This kiss felt like you were home..with him. 

Jean’s lips left yours as he got up and walked to your bathroom, leaving you absolutely speechless. You couldn’t believe that just happened..but yet, you were so glad it did. You turn your head to see Jean in the bathroom, running a washcloth under some water. 

Eren never did aftercare. He would just fuck you, and leave you hanging. Most of the time, you didn’t even finish..it was always about him finishing, his pleasure before yours, and that’s when your handy vibrator came into your life. Looks like you wouldn’t be needing that anymore with the way Jean just fucked you. 

You thought sex like this belonged in porn.

Jean walked out of the bathroom smiling, “What are you smiling about?” You questioned him as he bends your still trembling legs. He kisses the top of your knees as he cleans your most sensitive area, you wince feeling the washcloth on your clit. 

“You.” It was a simple one word..but, it made your heart melt leaving your very dirty thoughts behind. His fingers find your clit again, as that smile turned into a sly smirk. You moan, “Jean.” You warned softly, as he rubs it slowly.  His fingers slip into your hole, “Just cleaning you out.” He says, as his fingers hit your g-spot. Your hand wraps around his wrist, “Do you want me to stop?” You shaking your head, never wanting him to stop. 

He continues his movements, your legs squeezing together as his long, slim fingers continue to pump into you. You could feel your orgasm bubbling up. “Let go for me, princess.” And that’s all it took for your third orgasm to unravel, leaving you in a moaning mess. 

His fingers left your cunt as his eyes locks with yours. He licks his fingers cleaning, “Now, I’m actually going to clean you up.” A giggle leaves your mouth as you feel the washcloth sliding over your skin again. You could get used to this. 

You started thinking about life with Jean. “So, now what happens?” You ask out of curiosity. You were absolutely terrified of losing him. You didn’t know what was going to happen. Were you guys going to pretend this didn’t happen? Were you guys going to start a life together? Were you guys going to stay as friends? You had so many questions that were fueling your anxiety. 

He stops his movements, looking at you, “I said that I was never going to let you go, y/n. You’re mine.” Tears start to form in your eyes, “Losing you to Eren was my biggest mistake, I should have never let you go..I felt like I hurt you. If I would have kept pushing you, and telling you everything he was doing behind your back, I thought I would have lost you permanently.” He stands up and walks across the room, throwing the used washcloth into the hamper. Then walking towards the bed, laying next to you. He places his hand on your cheek, “I will never ever let you go..And I mean it. I will spend all this lifetime and the next proving it to you.”

As a tear escapes your eye, Jean’s thumb catches it, “Why are you crying?” And suddenly, there were more tears..too many tears for his thumb to catch. You roll over, placing your head on his chest. “I’m sorry.” You say in the midst of a broken sob, Jean doesn’t say anything, he just caresses your head and lets you cry. 

You wrap your arm around his chest, hugging him so tight, as if he was going to leave went you woke up. All this time, Jean waited for you. For all the years that you were with Eren, Jean was there waiting to help you when he left. 

The day that Eren left the apartment, you called Jean, and he ran to your apartment. You didn’t know who else to call, you wanted the one person who knew how to comfort you, your best friend. Jean helped you through all the stages of your break up. He was there when you needed a shoulder to cry on, he was there when you couldn’t find yourself. And now, here he was yet again, being the shoulder you cried on. 

“It should have been you, Jean.” You said through the soft sobs, “It shouldn’t have been Eren, I should have never been with him..it was supposed to be you.” Jean kissed the top of your head, comforting you. 

Jean kisses the top of your head, as you looked up at him, “Now we can make up for lost time.” His lips inched towards yours, “Starting now.” His lips connected with yours. 

This is what loves feels like..and it’s how it should have been from he start. 

Jean is your forever.

Jean is the missing piece to your broken puzzle.

Jean is the person you prayed to God for everyday instead of Eren. 

Jean is your other half. 

____

2 YEARS LATER:

“Here’s to your last day being engaged!!” Mikasa exclaimed as she jumps into your arms. You were out for brunch with all your girlfriends, celebrating your last day being an engaged woman. You never thought this day would come. 

Jean ended up proposing a year ago..and it was so romantic. You both knew you wanted to get married. Jean wanted it to be a surprise though. He had taken you to a romantic restaurant..which would have been very cliche of him. You and him would always joke about the cliches. He knew you wanted everything but the cliches. 

He ended up getting on one knee when you least expected it. He wanted to catch you off guard. You and him were going house hunting when he proposed. You guys were looking at a house and the moment you step foot into it, you saw your life with Jean flash before your eyes. Every corner you turned, you could imagine kids running around. When you went into the kitchen, you saw family dinners..just the thought alone brought tears to your eyes. 

It was when you guys walked into the backyard when you looked Jean in the eyes and told him exactly how you felt. That was your forever home, the place where you wanted to grow old and gray with Jean, the place where you wanted to start a family..that was where your future was. You turned around for a split second and when you turn back to face Jean, he proposed. 

You didn’t even let him finish talking. You knew you wanted to marry Jean for years. Even before Eren. 

Even after a year of him proposing to you, you still think about every single word Jean said. He said the same exact thing you were thinking while walking through the house. His dream was your dream. 

The wedding was around the corner and you couldn’t wait. It was going to be a small wedding. You and Jean just wanted something simple. You both agreed that the memories were more important than the big wedding. 

As you, Mikasa, and the rest of your friends leave after drinking one too many mimosas, you accidentally bump into someone. You instantly apologize, looking up to see the man who broke you in ways you thought couldn’t be fixed. This was the actual time you bumped into him. “Y/N?” Hearing your name leave his lips sounded like poison. It’s the one voice that still haunts you. 

You started to feel sick, feeling bile rising up your throat. His eyes inched towards your taken hand. You couldn’t find words. There were so many things you wanted to say..but, it wasn’t worth your time. Jean helped you move on, he put you back together when you couldn’t find the pieces. Eren took a piece of you that you were still trying to find..even after all these years. You slowly back away, calling out his name once. 

You walk past him linking your arm with Mikasa’s, “I’m sorry.” The two words stop your movement, you turn around for a split second, feeling Mikasa giving you and encouraging squeeze. “You’re not sorry, Eren. You never were..you ruined me. Y-You used me, cheated on me, fucking tore my heart into pieces.” You walked closer to him, “You don’t get to apologize, you piece of lowlife scum, I hope you rot.” 

Before he could say another word, you turned away linking your arm with Mikasa’s. You feel good. A smile spread on your face, “You feel good, y/n?” You nod, feeling a sense of relief fuel your veins. 

You never really got closure and that was something you struggled with for the longest. You still don’t understand why he cheated on you. The countless therapy sessions helped for a short period of time. But, this is your closure. You said what you said, and you feel good. This is what you needed to open the next chapter of your life. 

As you walk into your stunning house, you were immediately greet by the newest addition to your family, Remi. She’s a french bulldog you and Jean adopted when you moved into the house. She lights up your world. You and Jean are so grateful for her. After greeting your pup, you were greeted by your fiancee. 

You give him a soft kiss, feeling his hands on your waist, instantly feeling like you’re home. “How was brunch?” A smile spread on your face as you take off your coat, “It was a lot of fun! I wish you were there though.” You said as you were taking off your heels. 

“Yeah, I wish I went too. Connie is having a late dinner later to have a pre-celebration for tomorrow.” You roll your eyes with a smile, “Make sure you don’t drink too much, Jean.” A chuckle leaves his throat, giving you another kiss on the cheek. 

As you both walk towards the kitchen, you were thinking about how to tell Jean about your interaction with Eren. 

He opens the cabinet when you broke silence, “I bumped into Eren.” 

Jean turns around, placing both of his hands on the counter, “What happened? Did he do anything?” You shake your head, as a small smile spread on your face, “I got closure, Jean. I feel good.” You went onto telling him what you said and you both ended up laughing. You don’t have a mean bone in your body. So, telling him what you said made the both of you laugh. 

“I’m proud of you, y/n.” The four words made tears run down your cheek. Yet again, even after all these years, Jean is there to catch every single tear. “I’m glad you finally got the closure you’ve been searching for.” You wrap your arms around his waist, “Me too. I feel like I can let go of that chapter of my life.” 

Tomorrow was the start of a new chapter. 

Although you know your next chapter won’t be picture perfect, you were okay with that. As long as you had Jean on your side, you knew that it would be your version of picture perfect. And, that’s all you needed. 

__

As you’re walking down the isle, you think about everything you (and Jean) have been through to get to this moment. 

In a sense, you were grateful that everything happened, because it led you here, marrying your best friend, and you couldn’t imagine life go any other way. Jean has taught you that love is real, you just have to find the right person. Life has a funny way of showing love, it’s like a road to describe it the least. 

Life and love are both bumpy roads, there’s all these bumps, cracks, unexpected turns, things that get in your way. But, once you get past that, the road is smooth and clear. 

Today, you’re marrying your soulmate, your other half, your best friend, & you couldn’t wait to finally be Mrs. Kirstein. 

Jean didn’t lie when he said you were his. Since that day, he never left your side. He was there for everything. Every doubt, every cry, everywhere you least expected him to be. 

The six words you’ve been waiting for years for finally approached, “You may now kiss the bride.” Jean kissed you like your life depended on it..just like the first time he kissed you. The kiss that makes you feel like you're on cloud nine, the kiss that makes time go by slowly, the kiss that makes all the others seem non-existent. 

“I told you, you were always mine, y/n.” He whispered against your lips. A bright smile spread on your face. It was just you and him. You zoned out the crowd, as if time was going in slow motion. You stare into his eyes and see your future. You place your thumb under his eyes, collecting the tears that he’s always done for you. 

Inching your lips towards his, feeling the same emotions as his. You whisper, “Forever and always yours.”

The end. 

🏷️: @betterwinter @moonlight445sblog @linglingisyutabiased @takspv @imaninfjbiherself @levisstainedunderwear @cafesho @Unicornlover25 @mocha-focha @Mochaxfocha @szna @yeagerfushiguro @twiixiies @haitanihime @Crazytyphoon @the-sun-baby

Finishing note: thank you so much for all the love in broken promises! It’s been two years since I posted it and it’s still one of my favorites. I am very happy with how it ended. There were some bits and pieces in here that I took from my actual life. Remi is true!! She’s my baby🫶🏻..plus some breakup scenes were from my breakup😭. Anywhos, I hope to be able to get back into writing soon :)

[alavestineneas]

Glass and mirrors

pairing: young!coriolanussnow x fem!reader summary: There is one thing the world needs to know about her: she didn't become a star overnight. She was born to be one. warnings: canon-typical violence, mentions of mental illness, narcissism, blonde men who need therapy, unhinged women, people in shitty relationships and toxic industries word count: 4.6k PART TWO IS HERE

author's note: Hello and welcome to our small community of people who have fallen victim to the charming (and evil) blonde man! This fic is heavily inspired by the edits of models that pop up on my ticktock feed every day. Shout out to them and the talented editors who bless my eyes with their creations. As for YN this time, prepare to be on quite a ride because she, surprise-surprise, is evil! In my head, there has to be at least one victor who feels no remorse at all; they can't all be morally good (and relatively sane) people. Also, the obsession with beauty in this fic is, in fact, intentional, so bear with me. Feel free to comment or insult the author in the comments, but only if you are creative with it. Enjoy and see you in part 2!

In all of her short childhood, she always loved mirrors. Her grandma used to joke about it with her old friends while they shared lunch at the factory: ''That empty-headed child wants to do nothing but stare at herself all day.'' The women would laugh, their raspy voices making the glid, already filled with toxic fumes to the brim, hotter. YN didn't mind; she would pretend not to hear them, clinging to the machinery in front of her instead. She would get out of here sooner or later, and she'd see whose laughter would be left echoing all through the narrow streets.

She wasn't born to rot in this place like these people were; YN was sure of that. Not with a face like hers, with manners she taught herself from the bright magic box in their cramped commune apartment, where a few times a year the government played the show. It was supposed to be a punishment, YN reminded herself each time, but it didn't look like one. She watched the children eat more food than she had seen in a month and then cry on the stage in front of millions. She wouldn't cry if she was there, that was for certain. People die every day here, but none of them get to dress up in the jewels provided by the wealthiest people she has ever seen.

It was funny how they had all the money in the world and still chose to dress so horribly. Mismatched fabrics and smudged colours on their faces, like the colours of the lake near her house—the factories polluted it with dyes, turning the water green, purple, and sometimes even pink. That's how she got her old grey dress to be such a pretty lavender colour. It didn't matter that everyone at school laughed at her, even Miss Kyla; she was horrendously ugly anyway, her hair resembling the colour of unwashed underwear. YN wore her dress with pride, mimicking the voice of the funny multicolour-haired man on the screen, chatting with long o's and a's.

That's how she ended up here, on the first floor of the newly renovated training centre, with a drink in her freshly manicured hand. She had two hours before her stylists would need her again—a time designated for sleep, which she apparently so greatly lacks. YN doesn't care; she went without sleep for much longer than two days. Instead, she does what she loves the most—turns on a shiny screen and watches the golden letters appear: the 15th Annual Hunger Games.

It starts with reaping, as always, but YN skips that part—she doesn't like seeing herself in those dirty rags, although, as papers would later state, ''nothing could make this girl ugly, even if a potato sack was put on her body.'' She likes interviews better. Luckily, the wait is not very long; soon enough, her favourite host pops up, his hair shimmering with sea green.

''And now, our dear viewers, I am more than pleased to announce our next tribute from District 1—please let her hear how excited we are to meet her!'' His voice booms through the theatre as the crowd erupts into applause.

YN moves gracefully, a beaming smile on her face matching that of a host. Her gloved hands wave at the supposed people in front of her as if they were guests at her birthday party. But most importantly, dress. The one she chose herself, arguing over it with her stylist for the last few hours, the one that fitted her perfectly. Capitol enough to appeal to the audience, district enough to highlight that she isn't one of them—she is something new, undiscovered, and worth keeping an eye on. It's almost not a dress at all—the sparkling, sheer fabric of beautiful white, with stars gathering at her chest and bottom to finish the ''almost naked'' look. And the crowd goes crazy for it. People shout, and the splashes of the cameras blinding her create a new melody that is so unfamiliar to YN's ears. Admiration. The thing she craved for so long.

''Alright, alright,'' Lucky Flickerman smiles, gesturing for the crowd to settle down. ''We don't want to scare her off now, do we?'' He turns to her, a microphone in hand. ''What's your name, sweetheart?''

''YN Y/L/N. And I am afraid you can't scare me off, no matter how hard you try. The thing is, I am here to stay,'' she jokes, cocking an eyebrow at the man beside her.

''Oh, how I love your confidence! Now tell me—we heard you are a volunteer—the first in the history of District 1! Are there any special ties to the girl who was supposed to stand here tonight, or what's going on?''

''Well, I was dying to see you in person, of course—no pun intended.''

Oh, there weren't any ties to the girl, or the boy, for that matter. No, YN simply wanted to go at her peak chance of winning—countless years of secret preparation in the factory; working a night shift after school and full days of weekends; hours of studying every plant and animal known to mankind—all to ensure that she wouldn't waste her chance like most kids here did.

''That's an honour coming from your lips; we are happy to see you in the Capitol, Miss Y/L/N. Since you came here by choice, what strategy are you planning on using in the arena? Maybe something tied to your district's craft?''

''If you promise to keep this between us, I'll confess—I will use my charms to make everyone fall in love with me and watch them fight by promising the winner a kiss—and then I will take it from there.'' YN turns to face the lights, staring directly into the camera for a few seconds. The crowd laughs once more, some going so far as to cheer and whistle in excitement. ''But in all honesty, I think I have a fair shot—I would win in a day if it meant the unlimited supply of those amazing cupcakes with sprinkles on top.''

''Well, in that case, you should definitely get a good rest this night—you are not the only one who got your eye on them! Ladies and gentlemen, prepare for the Cupcake Games tomorrow, and don't forget to sponsor this lovely girl right here if you want to see her win! And now, a short word from our sponsors.''

Cupcake jokes are still funny to her, even after two years, although she got sick of them a week after her victory and was just as sick of all the titles papers came up with to fit her into the candy girl box. It served her well, for which she is grateful; the sponsors did send her a shitton of things, although mostly useless.

Next is the introduction of everyone else; YN doesn't care to look at it for more than just a few seconds, speeding it up to maximum. It's boring to no end—how do Capitolees watch it every year with such excitement? She stops to look only when her face appears on the screen, covered in crimson blood.

She counted six canons when she finally stopped to take a breath in and look at her surroundings. That was about right, although YN didn't count how many times she pulled a knife out of somebody's still-warm body and lurched into another nearby. The sand soaked up the blood fast, she noticed, stepping over the pile of what used to be her competitors and walking towards the cone-shaped something. Nobody in sight—each one of the ''better'' kids is now dead without a chance to kill each other, to kill her, and ''others'' will die like flies under the hot sun of what looked like a desert. YN noticed that some even left behind the given jackets; she collected them before stepping into the Cornucopia, claiming them as her own. Not everyone grew up in hot factories, she thought to herself, so they have no chance of knowing how cold it gets at night.

YN doesn't like how the uniform looks on her; the T-shirt hangs around her frame too loosely. It's evident that she didn't eat enough back then, but it was tolerable. The dried blood looked worse; with her stoic face and eye colour, the streams looked too grotesque, almost unserious; it didn't fit the look she was going for. Her hands itch to wipe it before YN remembers that it's non-existent now—the girl on the screen is just a recording. She forwards a little more, looking for the commentary of the first night from the hosts—their excitement and praise never get old—but hears knocking at her door just as she is about to press play. YN glances at the clock—it's too early for the prep team, so it must be someone else—and turns off the TV just to be sure she heard it right.

When the knocking continues, she shouts a quick ''Come in,'' after checking her reflection on the now dark screen. ''Ah, Maggie!''

''How many times do I have to repeat that my name is Mags, not Maggie? Not Mags with fangs either, to be clear. Just Mags.''

''But everyone calls you that! And I want to be special,'' YN whines, laying back on the sofa.

It's Mags. YN likes Mags. Mags is the only girl besides her on the victors' list. Mags is the one who is always down to eat lunch together or to watch the new collection in the magazines. She is funny and down to earth, and, most importantly, Mags doesn't take bullshit from anyone.

''Even more special?'' Mags smiles, opening the fridge to look for something edible. There isn't much; they both know that YN would never eat something to ruin her figure. ''I saw your photoshoot on the street today. It's beautiful.''

''Thank you,'' YN smiles. She doesn't remember which one of her campaigns was supposed to air today, but it doesn't matter. ''Are you here for the promo again?''

The curly-haired woman nods, not looking up from the shelves. ''I hate it. I wish they would just leave me alone, so I can go home and forget about all of this.''

YN is always weirded out by such comments from Victor from 4 but never says anything. Not everyone was born to be in front of the camera; if that were the case, her talent wouldn't be so special anymore. ''It's our job, Maggie. They'll never leave us alone.''

''I know.'' Mags sighed, planting her body on the sofa beside her.

They are different, but YN thinks it's better that way. They are the same age, both 20, and that's about the only thing that ties them together. YN watches as her friend's chest rises and falls as she stares at the ceiling, her long, curly hair in some type of twist. YN would never style it like that, but Mags doesn't ask, so she stares at her in silence, trying her hardest not to compare them. She knows what type of conclusion will sparkle in her brain, but she doesn't want to admit it. Mags is her friend, her only good friend, so something inside YN fights hard to leave her alone. It's an unusual feeling, almost foreign, but YN wants to make an exception. She thinks Maggie deserves it.

''Are you okay?'' the woman asks her, finally snapping out of her trance. ''You are less talkative than usual.''

''Oh, yeah—just a little tired from work, that's it.''

Work. It's not the type of work people can really get tired from, and if anybody thinks otherwise, they never worked a day in District 1. Sometimes, YN can still feel the burning cloud of steam hitting her face when she closes her eyes. The work she does in Capitol is child's play—photoshoots, interviews, promotional campaigns, and runways. She is the only one with this kind of hectic schedule, the only one who is interesting enough for the general public to want to see her everywhere they go. Multiple shows a day wasn't uncommon; photoshoots until five a.m. were basically her usual routine; she did so many of them that she never remembered the brand name for more than an hour.

''Well, I hope I don't interrupt your me-time,'' Mags notes. ''Panem knows you need it. ''

''You worry too much about me. Better tell me about how life is in 4—anything new?''

There is probably nothing exciting, but it feels nice to listen to somebody talk with such love for their home as Mags does. It's also a great opportunity. YN catches every subtle expression and every movement of her friend with attentive eyes, making sure to parrot them later. She noticed from the recording today that her speech misses a certain effortlessness.

-

Curl and twist, curl and twist—YN has learned the pattern by now, sitting in front of the gigantic mirror, surrounded by a team of stylists. Hair, make-up, nails, and toes—five people work hand in hand for her to appear for two minutes on the long podium. The backstage is loud, and a lot is going on—last-minute changes, alterations, and quick touch-ups. YN doesn't bother to look around; she closes today like a face of the collection, and after she is done with this podium, the day is finally coming to an end.

''Oh, YN, darling, here you are!'' The bald man in his forties appears on the horizon of her peripheral vision, clasping his unnaturally white hands together. ''How are you doing, my little star? Anything you need?''

She is irritated to no end; her team booked seven shows for her today; she hadn't had anything to eat in the past six hours; and the loud music makes her head throb. But she doesn't voice any of that—nobody really wants to know how she is feeling.

Just like she guessed, the man doesn't wait for her response. ''There have been some changes in the order today, sweetheart. Jenovia will be closing today, and you will walk in her dress instead,'' the man says, turning to face her styling team. ''Change the hair to fit, and take off the blue in her make-up—it won't match. Good luck!''

''Do what he says,'' YN announces, her mouth twitching just a little. She is furious. To have that blonde bitch Jenovia walk in the best dress of the collection YN inspired? Over her dead body. Or, should she say, over Jenovia's? She will figure it out but do so later. Now there are only four girls before her, so she needs to be ready.

''Three, two, one! Go, go!'' the stage coordinator shouts, opening the curtain for her.

Right and left, hip and hand, followed by the strong clicking of her five-inch heels. The music is even louder here, with the beets vibrating through the runway and pouring into her bloodstream. She doesn't pay any attention to the glass floor underneath her. Surprisingly, her training before games helped her model more than one could guess. YN doesn't see anyone but the blinding lights lining the podium—not that she needs to see the hungry faces of the spectators. It doesn't matter what piece of fabric covers her body; they are looking at who wears it. Final pose at the centre—no smile is her go-to. Hold and turn is the golden rule.

''Here you are!'' One of the seamstresses grabs her hand, pulling her into a small, curtained space with countless clothes on racks. ''Calio wants you to hold a purse for the backstage photo and lose the belt. Where the fuck is the golden belt?'' she shouts, searching for one. ''Wait here; I'll go find it,'' she finally announces, running away before YN has the chance to suggest anything.

YN looks around, carefully moving the laying rags with her foot. She mentally goes over the outfits labelled with names, rating them one by one, until her eyes stop on the white dress. The closing dress, the one she was supposed to model. Underneath it are velvety black high boots.

The idea comes to her mind quickly: she steals a needle from the nearby table and carefully places it inside the shoes, making sure it looks like an accident.

''Finally,'' the woman returns with a belt in her hands, oblivious to YN's half-smile. ''Put it on and go; they are already waiting.''

''Of course, thanks.''

YN isn't sure how much time has passed before she hears a scream, standing up from her place in the corner with a blanket around her exposed shoulders. Surely enough, Jenovia is on the floor, crying crocodile tears—a needle inside her heel deep enough to make a few of the girls around her gag.

''What the fuck happened?'' It's Calio, the boss here; he was ordering her around before.

''I don't know,'' all the blonde girl can manage before bursting into tears one more time.

''Well, can you walk?'' he asks, kneeling to take a look.

''No,'' Jenovia whispers, her hand holding her bloodied foot.

The bald man sighed, more annoyed than concerned. ''We need a replacement. You,'' he points at YN. ''Take it off and change into the dress. Quick!''

YN does what she is told in no time; she doesn't want to wait until Jenovia suddenly gets better or the man finds a better-suited girl to close. After a few minutes, she is almost ready; she only needs the lipstick to finish it off.

''We don't have time!'' the man roars, dragging her to the exit. ''Here!'' He puffs out her hair and adjusts the layers of fake pearls covering her neck. ''Three, two, one! Go, fucking go!''

And go she does. A few steps on the runway, and she discovers that lipstick is still in her hands. YN puts it in the pocket of the enormously large black coat that hides the gorgeous white dress underneath. Step after step, her long black boots draw patterns on the glass. She will have no choice but to buy them; YN doesn't care if it's stupid. They helped her, so she will have them.

It's time for the final pose: YN takes out the lipstick from her pocket and applies it with two swift motions, blowing a kiss to the camera. It will definitely be a hit with the photographers. YN throws one last look before turning around and returning to the curtained exit. On her way back, when the lights lower to follow her back, she can see a little clearer. In the sea of vibrant hair colours and clothes, the platinum-blonde hair and a simple black suit stood out too much not to notice. There is only one person who could afford to look so simple—YN knows it. An opportunity of a lifetime.

She makes another stop in the middle of the podium, right in front of his seat. The coat slides off her shoulders effortlessly, and YN catches it just when the fabric is about to hit the floor. The crowd goes crazy, clapping and whistling at her tricks, but YN has no wish to entertain them any further. YN pauses for a moment, her eyes meeting icy-blue ones, before turning away and finishing the show. There is one thing the world needs to know about her: she didn't become a star overnight. She was born to be one.

-

Since the last show, she has done fifteen more—day after day, opening and closing. Her little trick got her where she wanted to be, with more money than one person could need in a lifetime and nowhere to spend it. Even now, standing in the long hallway of the training centre, she wears nothing she bought herself; all are gifted, sent, or handed by the adoring fans. Like a rag doll, with no say in how she looks or what she does, YN hears everyone say that it was ''a price of fame''. She doesn't think so; she was told what to do long before she tasted real butter on her toast.

The sliding door to her apartment moves almost without noise. While most victors complain that the lock system reminds them of prison, YN is grateful to have it. The thought of some crazy fanatic waiting for her in the dark isn't the most pleasant one. The designer bag finds its place on the floor, soon joined by the coat—room service will clean it up later. The heels slide off her feet quickly, leaving bloodied marks on her skin, but YN doesn't care enough to do something about them.

''Forgive me for joining you without an invitation.''

YN turns around, her hands grabbing the keys in her hands tighter. She mentally goes over her means of escape or fight—a mirror could easily be broken and used as a weapon; if necessary, she could also grab a nearby ottoman. The man in the chair doesn't look too impressed with her thought process. His lips curve into a smile, blue eyes staring at her with undivided attention. A suit, not very different from the one he wore at her show, was a deep brown colour.

''Mister President,'' YN breathes out, lowering her hand.

Coriolanus Snow. Light, almost white hair frames his face like a halo, with his suit hugging his waist just enough to highlight the broad shoulders. YN saw him on TV a couple of times, but seeing him in person was something entirely different. It's like the air shifts around him and changes with his presence.

''I believe we met before,'' he humours her, his eyes shining with mischief.

The light knocking on the door doesn't leave YN any time to answer. She presses a button near it, fixing her hair before opening it. YN tries to look as composed as possible without betraying her nerves—why was he here? ''Yes?''

''The dinner, Ma'am.'' the room service declares, pushing a cart in front of her.

YN nods, even though she didn't order one. ''Leave it here,'' she says, gesturing to the place nearby. When the door closes and she is alone with the man in her room again, her heart skips a beat.

''I took the liberty of ordering; I hope you don't mind.''

Even if she did, she knew better than to say anything. Instead, YN watched as the man stood up and took the dishes from the cart, placing them on the coffee table, before turning to her once more.

''Please, have a seat.''

She does what she is told, sitting down on her king-sized bed—the chair is already taken by him—and waits for the blonde man to start speaking. He doesn't right away, choosing to pour a glass of wine for her and himself.

YN watches the dark liquor pour into the glass, swirling with each drop. She isn't hungry—she rarely was—and the soup he ordered looks more like vomit than a dish, but she still takes the spoon and carefully places it into her mouth. Her lipstick stains the silverware with colour, leaving a small circle right at the end—that's when the man finally decides to speak.

''Dare I say I am a huge fan of your work ethic? Everyone who I've spoken to is very satisfied with your,'' he pauses, searching for the fitting word, ''dedication .''

''Thank you, Mister President,'' YN replies with a polite smile before returning to her soup. She watches him only from the corner of her eye. The way he cuts his steak with his ringed fingers and the way he places a small bite in his mouth before his lips close. There is a subtle roughness in his movements, a power play of some sort.

He catches her gaze and, for a moment, is silent. ''You probably wonder why I am here in the first place, outside of the amazing steak they cook here, of course. The thing is, Miss Y/L/N, that you are popular not only with the general public but with people higher in power as well. One may even say they fell in love with the way you present yourself.''

''I am pleased to know that, Mr. President, but I am only doing my job as a victor.''

''Then you will understand the weight of my dilemma. Those people who have served Panem all their lives faithfully usually don't ask for much recognition; they work because they want to build a better future for all of us. So, when they do ask for a small favour or two, I am more than happy to satisfy them. But recently, all they ask for is you .''

''I believe I don't quite understand. They want to meet me?''

''You can phrase it like that, yes. For a night or two, of course, with all expenses covered.''

It's heavy, the understanding of what Mister President really implies. The thought of someone's hand roaming her body brings her dinner up YN's throat. ''Why?'' Her voice is shakier than she would like, but she is more focused on composing the rising anger than noticing it.

''I am sorry, Miss Y/L/N, but I am afraid there is nothing I can do; I am greatly outnumbered. Unless,'' he starts but doesn't finish his sentence.

''Unless what?''

''Unless you are seen with me.''

His piercing blue eyes look at her, but there is nothing in them. Her chances are limited, and he knows it. There is something rogue in him beneath the veil of chivalry he offers. YN smiles at him. That's what this whole charade was about—he wants her. Coriolanus Snow, the most powerful man in the whole world, wants her.

''Of course, Mr. President. That's very generous of you.''

''Mister President is too official, don't you think, Miss Y/L/N? Perhaps we could find a more informal way of addressing each other?''

''Informal?'' YN asks, tilting her head to the side. If he wants her, he'll get her. ''What about Mister Snow?'' The buttons on her shirt are easy to manage—a few quick motions, and it slides off her shoulders onto the cream cover. ''Or, Sir Coriolanus?'' The pants are a little trickier, but YN learned that backstage, every second counts, so they soon also pool around her heels, the fabric hitting the floor with a slight thud.

The blonde man watches her intently, his eyes following every move of her hands. His legs are still spread wide on the lime-green chair as he slightly leans back. YN can't tell if he is enjoying her antics or not, but frankly, she doesn't care; she is enjoying it.  The way her shadow dances on the wall, the way the air shifts in the huge room, transforming it into a tiny stage. YN looks at him with mischief, with superiority, even. After all, she is the show here. Why not let Mr. Savior think it is for him?

''Come, Mister Snow,'' she says, throwing it in his face like a bone to the dog.

He doesn't have the haste to join her; on the contrary, he stands up painfully slowly. His tall figure almost seems to stretch as he raises, covering the floor lamp behind him fully. When he finally circles the table to stand above her, his presence is overwhelming. YN lets him stand between her legs, his unusually cold hand on her thigh.

''I prefer Coriolanus,'' he whispers in her ear, lowering himself enough to touch her ear with his velvety lips. He pulls away slightly, planting a kiss on her cheek instead. ''Have a most pleasant night, Miss Y/L/N.''

And then he walks away. YN watches as his figure disappears behind the sliding door before she lets out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. Her gaze instinctively finds her reflection in the nearby mirror; there is no reason to shine if no one watches her.

[spectres-n-soap]

All The Things I've Said PT2 - Ghost x Reader x Soap

Content Warnings - Ghosts past, tragic backstory™️, pregnancy, implied protective Ghost

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N - 2/7 done.

Ghost has found that the times when you are gone from the flat while attending therapy is suffocating. He normally does not mind being alone or the silence that comes with it but after spending the last weeks with you, he finds that he hates it.

He tries to keep busy now instead of sitting around like a dog left at home while the owner goes shopping. Which is what he did the first few times you told him that you would text him when the session was over. He had wandered from the couch, to the dining room chairs and back to the couch so many times in just a few hours that he was sure he was going mad.

It wasn’t until the fourth day of this that something had clicked and he started this routine. You were heavily pregnant now and after the reveal that you’d likely have to get a c-section, he had picked up more chores around the house. He cleans the dishes, takes out the trash, makes your bed and does the laundry. He buys food for the house and keeps everything stocked. Ghost looks at the little sage green onesie in his hands and wonders if the baby will even fit. He saw the size of them, they were going to be a big and fat baby.

Ghost folds the onesie with a skill that had made his hands shake when he first did it. Joseph had been a very fat and happy baby. All smiles and giggles, only crying when hungry or having soiled his nappy. He had big blue eyes that Ghost can still recall with clarity but not without it being soiled with the memory of how those eyes looked when he was dead. Maybe that's why he couldn’t visit Johnny before he was cremated. His and Joseph’s eyes were so similar. He didn’t want the memory of two sets of blue eyes glazed over with the gray of death.

Ghost rubs the soft fabric of the beige pants that went with the white shirt he had just folded. It was soft, non irritating for a baby’s soft and delicate skin. His mind is drawn back to the past, back to when Beth had just finished her own baby shower and there were so many gifts.

Despite Ghost’s family being rather small, Beth’s was not. It had been refreshing and a little overwhelming to have so many people over. But his mum had enjoyed it, she had made so much food that despite the twenty people in that house there were still leftovers.

Beth rested her head against Tommy’s shoulder, tired from all the fuss and talking while Simon gathered up the trash. “You okay love?” Tommy asked softly and cupped Beth’s cheek. Beth smiled up at Simon’s brother and nodded.

“Jus’ tired. That’s all.” Beth yawned and Tommy smiled before he suggested she take a nap while he and Simon cleaned up. Beth didn’t need any convincing and with their mum’s help, waddled up the stairs to their bedroom. Simon kept putting things into the trash bag as Tommy gathered up the collection of blue onesies and outfits. Simon had never imagined Tommy being a father.

He had never envisioned either of them being fathers because of the shit job their father had done. And yet, here was Tommy. Married to a wonderfully kind woman with a baby on the way, clean from drugs and their father left to die from whatever cancers ate away at his body. Good fuckin’ riddiance thought Simon.

“You’re gonna be a good father.” Simon said, not exactly sure where that came from. Tommy smiled at him, brown eyes mirrored each other.

“And you’re gonna be a good uncle.” Tommy said as he folded up another blue onesie. “You’re already a good brother.” Simon shook his head but didn’t argue. He had told the military to fuck off, that he was going on leave to fix up the mess that was his family. He didn’t know how much longer he would be able to stay on hardship leave. Hopefully long enough to see baby Joseph.

“I’m doing what I’m meant to do.” Simon said with a shrug as he stuffed one last pile of ripped apart wrapping paper. “I came back for my family.”

“Thank you Simon.” Tommy placed a hand on Simon’s shoulder. “For making me get better.”

Simon shrugged off his hand, “I only threw the rope, you’re the one who had to climb.”

Ghost rewashes the baby bottles, not interested in the baby drinking from unwashed bottles. He watches the droplets slowly drip from the bottle as he sets them on the drying rack, he swallows as the memories claw up from the depths. He wishes they were happy still and not fucked up with blood and a type of grief that didn’t let go.

He looked down at the baby in his arms. All swaddled in a soft blue blanket with a blue boonie on his head. Baby Joseph. His face was still wrinkled and his eyes were shut, his mouth slightly open as he slept. There were feelings stirring deep within him that he had never felt before. There was this tiny life being held in his hands, hands that had killed and shot off guns that would surely ruin Joseph's hearing. And yet he was the only one holding him as Tommy doted on Beth after some skin to skin contact earlier.

Simon held his breath as Joseph blinked, his little blue eyes unfocused as he stared up at Simon. Joseph squinted and a small toothless smile appeared. “Hi Joseph.” Simon whispered as he looked down at his nephew and he felt tears appear in his eyes. “It's your uncle Simon.” Simon licked his dry lips as Joseph looked up at him, “I’ll protect you. I’ll protect your entire family. Promise.” Simon murmured, so quietly he almost didn’t hear himself say it.

Simon wipes at his eyes as the memory fades and leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. He checks his phone just as your text message appears, “I’m ready to be picked up.” Simon wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans before he grabs his keys as he stuffs down the emotions those memories conjure. You are not Beth. Johnny was not Tommy. And he was not going to let anything happen to you or that baby.

[s-4pphics]

scent of the pine. 7 (e.w)

hi c:

wc;cw 15.4k, sistersbestfriend!ellie, guitarist/producer!ellie, violinist!oc, age gap(three years), all ocs r black coded <3, angst, brief mentions of therapy and depression, FLUFF :D, underage drinking, weed, three smut scenes omfg MDNI!!!, fingering, eating out no buffalo wild wings, strapons, vibrators, scratching, choking, some pain kink lol, some switch!ellie i’m barking, dubcon(they r drunk), nipple play, exhibitionism😳, more music references hi 21, lots of descriptions of sex bc they’re horny n in love, this is pretty cute tbh

THEME FOR THE PART GET INTO ITTTTTT

Ellie heard your sister before she’d seen her. 

She was mindlessly talking to Elijah about the small, recurring glitch she kept hearing in her mix when she heard her boisterous laugh. She stiffened like she heard the whisper of a ghost, Isaiah’s goofy personality pulling giggles out of her mouth as the bar door closed behind them. 

The second their eyes met, Ellie saw your sister’s pupils get overshadowed by shock, then sorrow, then anger. A nasty, uncontrollable anger that she could only watch fester within her. 

Everything happened so fast: Ellie couldn’t hear any of your sister, Isaiah, or Elijah’s shouts over the pounding in her head, until your sister rushed her like she owed her a sum. Ellie immediately went into defense mode at your sister’s bucks; She did not want to fucking fight her, that’s the last thing she wanted, but if that’s what she wanted, so be it. 

Of course, Jesse and Dina were about to let them scrap by any means, so they trapped Ellie behind their bodies while Isaiah held your sibling back, speaking into her ear to calm her… was your sister the girl he always talked about? Was Isaiah the guy you claimed she was seeing? What the fuck! 

Your sister was screaming obscenities at her, but she couldn’t give a fuck— all she could think about was you. Where the fuck did Anthony take you? Were you okay? Fuck, she hoped you weren’t seeing this—

The fuck are you doing here? 

Ellie couldn’t explain the pain that exploded in her chest when she saw you standing near the bar's main hallway: you looked so hurt, so scared of what your sister was going to do until Dina calmed her down enough so she could leave without hassle.

Ellie didn’t want you to talk to your sister by herself, and even though she knew that being within ten feet of your sibling would get her touched, she wanted to make sure you were monitored properly. It took Jesse's strong grip on her arm to stop her from following you out into the rain. 

“Ellie, let her fucking handle it! This isn’t your fight, what the fuck!” 

She didn’t fucking care! She didn’t, she didn’t! You needed her there with you! She thrashed in his grip, gritted out protests, she was this close to biting his fucking arm off! —

“Ellie… Ellie, look at me!” 

Her resistance stilled at the soft hands on her burning cheeks, her hoarse breaths hitting Dina’s face as she looked at her with concerned eyes. She spoke before she could stop herself.  

“Tell him to get off me,” she felt her teeth grinding together in her mouth. 

Dina’s calm voice cut through the roaring sound in her ears. “I’m not telling him that. Please, tell me what’s going on? She's not going to fight her baby sister.” 

Her fists clenched tight. “I fucking know that! You know how fucking overwhelmed she gets, why the fuck did you let her go out there by herself to begin with?!” 

Dina’s hands dropped from her face in agitation. “She said she could handle it, so let her! She’s not a fucking baby anymore, why don’t you trust that she can hold her own?!” 

Ellie didn’t reply as she looked into Dina’s expecting gaze. She took a deep breath and exhaled through her nose as she felt the tension in her shoulders dissipate, making Jesse let up his grip on her. 

She let out another heavy exhale before she spoke shakily, “It’s… It’s not that I don’t trust her. I don’t want her dealing with shit that she can’t handle by herself. That’s fucking it.” 

“How do you know she can’t handle it!” 

Ellie didn’t have an answer for her: she knew that she trusted your judgment without any doubts, but she promised herself that she would always show up for you regardless of if you could handle it on your own or not. She already abandoned you once, and she promised you that she’s never going to let it happen again. She slowly turned her gaze to Isaiah, meeting his frantic eyes. 

“Why the fuck did you bring her here!” 

“Don’t fucking get mad at me! I didn’t think it would be a fucking problem, I don’t even know what’s going on!” 

She let out an exasperated sigh as she shook her head. She knew Isaiah wasn’t at fault for this blow up, —how could he have known that they had beef! — but she was still pissed, “I’ll… I’ll tell you everything later, alright?” 

She brushed past her friends and towards the exit, ignoring their calls of her name. The second she pushed the door open, her ears were instantly filled with your choked wails coming from the parking lot of the bar, and she bolted towards the sound of your cries before she could think. 

She could see you grabbing at your chest like you were trying to tear your own heart out as you attempted to catch your breath, trails of tears rolling down your cheeks as you sobbed. She reached for you and tried to calm you down, tried to get you to breathe with her, but you weren’t listening, shaking your head at her, and desperately grasping at her arms. 

Dina and Jesse had followed her to help lead you back inside, wrapping their arms around your trembling frame to guide you towards the entrance. 

They sat you down in the chair you’d been sitting in the whole night as Ellie tried to talk you down. She watched you wail like you were in excruciating pain, and tears jerked in her own eyes. She could only whisper comfort to you as she pulled her close. 

You just cried, and all she could do was hold you. 

Your sister was absolutely distraught after that night at the bar. 

She raced home, jerkily parking her car as she sobbed all the way up the stairs of her apartment building. She couldn’t stop fucking crying. Her phone had been ringing off the hook the entire drive, calls from Isaiah, Dina, and Jesse bleating in her tossed purse. She didn’t care, she didn’t give a fuck about any of them. Fuck them, fuck you! 

How could you do this to her?! She’d sacrificed everything she knew, everyone she loved so that you could be comfortable! She never failed to place your security above all else in every situation, and you turn around and do this? Fraternize with the fucking enemy?! 

… She needed to smoke so fucking badly. 

She cut her pacing around the living room short as she stomped towards her purse. She dug around for her phone to turn it off, but she saw the all too familiar baby fawtha🧑🏾‍🦱👅🥰 across her screen. 

Why the fuck did Isaiah even bring her there in the first place? 

She remembered how excited he looked the entire drive over to the bar: rambled about how excited he was to see the owner again, boasted about his mix, about how talented and cool his ‘good friend’ is, how badly he wanted your sister to meet her. 

Y’all would get along so well. You’re just fucking alike, swear to god! Crazy asses. 

Your sister declined the call before turning her phone off, fresh tears searing in her eyes as she tossed her belongings on the floor and kicked her shoes off. She couldn’t ignore the emptiness in her soul, a vacant space that hadn’t closed in hopes that the girl that used to fill it would ease back into her life someday. But she was too prideful, too bull-headed. 

She’d convinced herself to never admit it, but she was still mourning the loss of her best friend years later. Her fucking family. 

Your sister tried to ignore the painful pang in her chest when she recalled her ex-friend's shocked face when she walked in, but she couldn’t. 

She just cried. 

TWO MONTHS LATER

Before you and Arya returned to campus, Ellie watched you like a hawk. She made sure you were eating, cleaned, and comforted. She even offered you and your best friend a ride all the way back to campus, but you politely declined, saying that you needed time to think on your own. She understood completely and held you all the way up until you called Arya to come pick you up. She surrounded you with affection and care, and you didn’t want to leave her embrace. You’ll never forget how close she held you, taking in your scent and you, hers. You heard her release the gentlest I love you into your shoulder, and tears gathered in your eyes when you held her closer. 

She made sure to reach out to you multiple times a week, asking how you were doing, if you needed anything. She even made you smile with her jokes on occasion, you wished she was here with you. 

Arya has been so sweet as always, making sure to console you whenever she has free time (it’s her last semester! you’re so proud of her), and while you were so thankful for her patience and attentiveness, you desired some time for yourself. You’ve been managing for a couple of weeks now; You were still heartbroken, but you would survive. 

You threw yourself into composing the second you returned to campus. You practiced and practiced until the tips of your fingers were scabbed and numb, symphonies ringing in your head before you passed out in your bed every night. Tchaikovsky would be impressed by the darkness that surrounded you.

You haven’t seen or spoken to your sister since she cursed you out and left you in the middle of the wet parking lot. She hasn't returned your bouts of apologetic text messages or phone calls, has been inactive on all her social media, and you only hear about her life through your mother’s joyous rambles on the phone. You were almost scared to return home for the summer in a couple weeks; Would your unsuspecting mother be curious as to why your sister hadn’t stopped by the house to see you? You hoped she didn’t have any of her random family dinners planned for the next three months, you wouldn’t be able to bear seeing your sister's disgusted face whenever she looked at you. 

You missed her terribly, and you hoped she could forgive you someday. 

You locked yourself in your campus’s small rehearsal room, the tiny space littered in eggshell paint and stocked with one classical piano and microphone. 

Your peers barely came in here due to its nearly constricting size, but you loved how closed off it was. It became your little escape destination since you found it a month ago, and the four opaque walls brought you a strange sense of comfort. 

You were tuning your violin, preparing to mimic Stravinsky on The Rite of Spring as you listened to students pass through the hallway on the other side of the door. 

You propped your woodwind onto your shoulder and immediately played the screechy opening notes of Ritual of Abduction, the shrilling, nearly erratic melody filling the room. Thank god for soundproof walls! 

The world around you slowly disappeared as you were launched into your tiny universe, the one that you dominated. The shrieking swallowed you whole, took over your body, made you feel invincible! How could someone make the lightness of Springtime sound so disastrous! 

It was aggressive, it was loud, and you could feel the power rushing through you. Music was everything to you, it was yours, you would never let it go!

You weren’t even following the notes of the sheet paper you memorized anymore, playing completely from instinct as your eyes closed. You couldn’t even tell if it sounded terrible or not, but you didn’t care. You just played and played until your fingers burned. Played with anger and sadness and love. Played for your mother, your best friends, Ellie, your sister. Your sister, you missed her so much! —

You nearly jumped into the air at your professor's voice, the wails of your woodwind coming to a halt. You spun and was met with his curious expression, “Hey, sorry, I came to get another pair of headphones, I would’ve knocked if I knew someone was in here! “

You dropped your instrument from your shoulder, “No! No, no, it’s fine, I was just leaving, actual— “

“Sorry, I didn’t know you played violin, that’s dope!”

“Uh, yeah, I… uh, I’ve played for a while,” you couldn’t ignore the heat that took over your face at the compliment. Even though you’ve grown accustomed to reading them online, you were always stunned when you received them from the people around you. 

“Damn. So, d’you compose, too, or?” 

“… Sometimes, yeah. I-I just started.” 

“That’s crazy! How come you never participate in the events we have, man?”

Your eyes darted to the wall before returning to his. “Uh… M’too scared to,” you said bluntly.

You expected him to laugh at your pitiful admission, but his brows furrowed in concern as he gently shut the door behind him. “Okay… do you mind if I sit for a second?” 

“… Sure,” you gave in and set your violin down on the piano as you shrugged, grabbing two folded chairs that were up against the wall. 

You handed him one before you moved to the empty side of the room, “So, talk to me! What’s been going on with you? I’ve been a little concerned these last couple of weeks, not gonna lie.” 

You sighed heavily, “Just… just family stuff, y’know.” 

“I feel you. What you were playing was kinda… y’know…” 

You huffed out a laugh. “Depressing?” 

“I didn’t say it!” He said jokingly. You smiled softly. 

“But honestly,” his tone got more serious. “There’s nothing to be afraid of, especially here. Everyone’s trying to improve so they can be their best selves. Whether it’s live music or not. That’s literally the whole point!” 

You nodded, but stayed quiet, listening intently, “I know it can be really scary, trust me, everyone that works here has been in your position! But nothing feels better than watching people appreciate and enjoy your creation. It’s… it’s unexplainable. I would hate for you to leave this experience without feeling that at least once.” 

You digested his advice. Next semester would be your last, and you couldn’t help but feel a bit remorseful. You’ve gone an entire two years—fuck, two decades—ducking from opportunities that people gave you to play for them, and it has done nothing but keep you in a hole of self-loathing and doubt. The disappointment was starting to set in: you were in the exact same place you were when you were a kid. Have you really stunted your own growth this terribly? 

“Y’knooow, we still have our little Fall festival next term. Nothing scary, it’s like a high school talent show with some seasoning. Lawry’s!” He suggested goofily.

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped you. You nodded as you looked at him, “I’ll think about it— “

“No more of that! You’re going, and you’re performing! Say it, c’mon!” He brought his hand up to his ear that was pointed towards you. 

You tsked with a smile, “C’mon, dude.” 

“We’re not leaving till I hear it! I’ll nail that door shut!” 

“… M’going and performing,” you mumbled. 

“Sorry, I thought I heard something! What was that!”

“I'm going and performing!” 

“Going and performing where!” 

“The Fall festival!” 

He nodded in satisfaction as he stood from his seat, “I’m holding you to that! If you don’t go, you’re not getting your degree!” 

He walked towards the door before turning to you, speaking in a hushed tone, “Oh! Tell your roommate to check her gahtdamn e-mail!” 

You laughed harder, “I will!” 

“See ya, man. Don’t waste this.”  

You waved as he gently shut the door behind him, leaving you in your thoughts. 

You looked over to your violin on the piano as you sighed. 

Its brow was raised at you, awaiting your decision. 

Your thoughts raced. 

The semester came to a close, and you and Arya were on your way home. 

She’s been so excited the entire train ride: jabbering about her future in writing and producing, how she’s about to become world renowned in the industry, how she’s going to die a musical legend! You were so excited for her; you couldn’t wait to follow wherever her creativity led her. 

The closer you got to your hometown, the more nervous you felt. 

What the hell was going to happen when you walked into your home? Your mother sounded so excited to see you on the phone before you departed, but she hadn’t mentioned anything about your sister. 

Your thoughts were cut when your phone dinged on the small table in front of you, Ellie’s contact popping up. Your mood brightened a bit. 

hiiiii :3 cant wait 2 see u miss u so fucking bad 

A small grin grew in your face. You carefully unlocked your phone, mindful of your sleeping friend's head laid on your shoulder. 

miss u too :(((( 

u home yet? 

no we still got 2 hours to go!! moms coming w dessert u know how she is

🥺🥺save me some? 

LOOOOOOOL u hate bread pudding 

not hers! >:) she shouldve dropped that cook book eons ago 

TEAAAA 

omg when am i gonna see u :(

still in cali baby :((( 

u free on 4th of july weekend? fuck america but u know

yeyeyeye

LOOL idk if you’d b willing to fly out but we’re turning up!! sai n all our friends r having this little beach party but we’re making a weekend out of it everyone’s going :p come w us🥺

dee n jesse r coming too!!!! 

we don’t have 2 go if u don’t wanna but i think it’d be fun :p

Your thumbs hovered over the small keyboard at the mention of Isaiah. You wondered what he thought about all that’s happened; Him and your sister seemed to be so happy whenever you saw them together. Were they still together? Were they even official to begin with? You hardly knew anything about their bond, and it saddened you. You missed your sister. 

But you also recognized how these episodes took over your entire being. You hated how your downward spirals left you feeling worthless. 

Before the semester ended, you reached out to your therapist and told her about what happened over Spring Break. It’d been a while since you spoke to her, but that particular meeting was one of the most vulnerable ones you’ve had in a long time. Instead of placing emphasis on the devastation you felt like you usually would’ve, you asked for some of the first steps of becoming… better. As a person, as a musician, as a girlfriend, everything. You needed this for yourself: you were tired of feeling so… empty. There were moments where you were so full of life, so elated and bright and hopeful for the future, only to come crashing back down to your dark reality because of your own insecurities. You’re sick of hyper-fixating on your imperfections and shortcomings. Your journey of self-love is incredibly overdue, and you were preparing to be softer with yourself. You vowed that you wouldn’t neglect yourself or your aspirations anymore! 

If your sister was going to hate you for falling in love with Ellie, then there's nothing you could do about it anymore. You prayed that wasn’t the case, but you were willing to accept the consequences for her, even if it meant losing the person closest to you. 

Your therapist swore to hold you to that. 

You’ve never flown on a plane before, but the opportunity of a new experience was slowly luring you in. People always talk about how fun California is during the summer, and one of your favorite people is going to be with you the entire time! 

… Why the hell not? 

i wanna go 

who’s buying that plane ticket tho 😳

AHHHHHHHHEJWJJW

me tf

i brought some of my dicks out here YESSIIRRR

LFMMMFAOAOOO ur a dumbass 

but☺️☺️need that tbh 

word? 

word🙄 don’t b annoying 

gonna fuck u so good 

ur so good at eating pussy 

gonna make love to yo u 

WHEN WE MAKE LOOOVEEEE YOU GO AWWWAWWWAWWW 

YOUREJW STUPIIDDDKSOW 

GET OFF MY PHONE DICK

LOOOOOOOL 

titty pic first? i gotta headache 🤕 

UR BLOCKED

mmm fuuuuck keep being mean im gnna cuuuum uhhhhh

i love u 

kiss 

UR GAY!!!! DISGUSTING!!! 

jk love u baby 

sososo much 

mineminemine

mwwwwwwAH!

mwahmwahwamhwahhhhmwwah 

lmk when u get in town!! 

i will stinky!!! ily 

love uuuuu 

You were cheesing so hard until you heard a sleepy chuckle come from beside you. Your cheeks burned even harder as you placed your phone face-down on the table. Curse Arya and her nosiness! 

“Y’all are so… fucking… gay. I hate queer bitches.” 

“Shut up!”

Your best friend laughed into your shoulder even louder. 

It had only been a couple of weeks since you’d been home, but you were having the time of your life. 

After Starr and Kris returned to town, the four of you went everywhere together: the fair, out to brunch and dinners, to the movies, long drives with no destination. You even followed Kris to the gym once: you only lifted for fifteen minutes, but you tried, and that’s all that matters! You took every opportunity to spend time with your friends, and you enjoyed every second of it. You’ve never been this active on Instagram in your life! 

You also took the initiative to record yourself—your face included! — playing one of your own compositions, even though you haven’t posted it yet. The six-minute video was already edited and ready to go, but you didn’t want to rush yourself too quickly. You weren’t ready for your audience to hear it just yet, but you were getting there faster than you thought. You were determined to post it before the summer was over. 

Baby steps. 

There were only three days until you flew to California: trying to convince your mom to let you leave the state alone was almost impossible, but once you emphasized that you’d be staying with Ellie, she lightened up a bit. She was still very skeptical and demanded that you call her three times a day, but she eventually resigned and granted you permission. 

Starr and Kris were laid across your bed as they walked you through packing while Arya retwisted her hair in your bathroom, you sat on the floor rummaging through your drawers. 

“Bro, it’s fucking summer! Cali is like… nine-thousand degrees during this time, you need at least four bikinis!” 

You chuckled at Starr as you folded your rash guard, “I wanna try to surf, though. I don't want my boobs flying out.” 

“I bet that’d make your girl happy,” Kris added as she stuck her tongue out at you, making Arya and Starr snicker. 

You shook your head at them as your cheeks burned, “… Shut up.” 

Arya, of course, didn’t care. You heard her release fake, high-pitched moans of oh, Ellie! oh, god! I love you! harder, yeah! come from behind you as your two friends laughed harder. 

“I said shut up! My mom’s downstairs, have some couth!” Your face was burning, at this point. You couldn’t stand them, sometimes!  

“Whatever, can you smuggle drugs for us?” You heard Arya ask. 

“Facts! Pleeease bring me some Cali bud, I’m feening,” Starr said, gazing down at you with puppy eyes. 

You stared at her stoically, “If I get held up at the airport, I’m killing both of y’all when I get outta jail.” 

“… So that’s a yes! I wanna try Bubba Kush… Ooo, or wedding cake!” 

“You already smoke wedding cake, Ari,” Kris said blankly.

“… Okay? Cali wedding cake is probably better— “

Starr jumped in. “That’s not how it works—“

“Yes the hell it is— “

You and Kris shook your heads at each other as the two weedheads debated bud quality… again. 

You couldn’t wait to get strains for them to try so they would cut it out. 

Days later, you boarded the plane, and you sent your mom one last love uuu text before opening the messages between you and your sister. 

All the blue texts you sent were still left unread, and you sighed sadly. 

You typed and sent an i love you, the message showing up delivered. 

You put your phone on airplane mode when you got to your seat.

The flight to California had been… god awful. You now have a hatred for planes. 

Why did no one tell you that airplane bathrooms are uniquely disgusting? They might have porta-potties beat!

You were currently waiting outside of baggage claim for Ellie to come pick you up and… you completely understood why she sent a link to a How to Survive LAX guide on YouTube. This place was fucking crazy! The number of times you almost got trampled in a twenty-minute time span was impeccable; You were never traveling during any holiday again! 

The sun was setting, and the lights of the airport were damn near blinding you, but you were so excited to see Ellie and your friends. Your foot tapped in anticipation next to the curb as you clutched the handle of your luggage tightly. 

You suddenly heard a slew of honk!honk!honk!honk!s from in front of you, and your heart soared in your chest when your eyes connected with Ellie and Dina’s excited ones through the rolled down window. They hopped out of the car as quickly as they could, instantly enfolding you in a tight embrace and kissing your forehead and cheek, their scents surrounding you. You couldn’t stop smiling. 

“C’mon, lemme help you,” Ellie released you to grab your luggage and ran over to the trunk as Dina grabbed the duffel from your shoulder, scurrying over to climb into the back seat. 

Ellie jumped into the driver's seat as cars honked from behind her car, pressing the gas on accident and forcing the car to rev up. 

“Bitch, can you drive like you have sense? My baby’s in the fucking car!” Dina scolded from the back seat.

“Shut up,” Ellie threw over her shoulder before putting the car in drive and glancing at you. “Missed you so fucking much, holy fu—GET THE FUCK OUT THE WAY, PRICK!” 

You couldn’t hold in your laughs at Ellie’s road rage, “I swear to god, these fuckers don’t know how to drive!” 

You watched her clumsily swerve into the line of traffic, and you couldn’t help but squirm a little in your seat. She looked so good: Slipknot muscle tee, washed jeans, sneakers, her fucking arms and tattoo and bracelets and everything! She’s so fucking fine and she always smelled so good. How did you survive not seeing her for so long? 

She must’ve noticed your intense examination of her appearance because she turned to you, slowly licking her lips as she took you in. Her eyes were gazing over your entire body, all the way down to your sneakers and your thighs clenched together. 

PUT THAT DICK UP, WE NOT HUMPIN’! —

Dina’s body leaned onto the center console between you and Ellie, cranking up the radio before residing back to her seat behind you. You saw Ellie avert her gaze onto the road as she bit her lip, a red tint blending in with the freckles on her cheeks. 

You cheesed before looking out the window. 

Neither of you noticed Dina’s observant stares between the two of you. 

You, Dina, and Ellie stopped at her favorite dispensary to pick-up before she dropped Dina off at the hotel she was staying at for the weekend. She gave you a fat kiss on your cheek before she ran inside the… seemingly expensive building, leaving you and Ellie by yourselves. You slowly looked over at her: she looked so deep in thought, head rested back on the seat, fingers mindlessly tapping on the wheel, picking at her lip with her teeth. 

You spoke softly, brows pulled down in concern, “Ellie, you okay?” 

She nodded but didn’t look at you. She took a deep breath before mumbling, “Took everything in me not to kiss you when she was in here.” 

Your heart fluttered in your chest, “Why didn’t you?” 

She turned her head, finally meeting your gaze. “Wanted to ask you before I… said anything to anyone, wanted to talk to you’n make sure you were okay with it. I didn’t wanna assu— “

You impulsively leaned over the center console, your lips connecting with her soft ones, and you held her cheek in your hand. You felt her hand wrap around your wrists as she sighed into your mouth, her calloused fingers massaging your pulse. 

You pulled away from her, and she chased you before you spoke in a hushed whisper, “I don’t care if people know anymore, Ellie. I wanna… I wanna be happy. With you a-and in general. If you… still wanna be with— “

Her mouth cut your words off, her hand coming up to the back of your neck to pull you closer. She pulled away slightly to speak, “You’re my girlfriend, and we’re together, you understand?” 

She sounded so serious, so sure, and it made tears glisten in your eyes as you looked into hers. They were so full of love and admiration, and you hoped yours expressed the same. 

“Let’s go home? Someone’s waiting for you,” she spoke in between soft kisses. You nodded eagerly. 

She gave you one more peck before she let you go, putting her car in drive as you eased back into your seat. 

She held your hand the entire drive. 

Ellie’s other home was so fucking adorable! 

White tile floors, black furniture littered with small green details, and Duchess! You missed her dearly! 

She helped you bring your bags up, placing them in her room near her nightstand. You inspected the quaint space: it wasn’t nearly as stocked as her room back home, but it still had intricate details that were solely hers. Small, twinkling lights, her producing equipment and monitors, her green blankets! 

You felt her arm wrap around your waist to pull you closer, reconnecting your lips in a proper kiss. You felt her hand sneak down to your clothed ass, giving it a light squeeze as your arms wrapped around her neck. The bulb in her mouth moved against your bottom lip, and you happily allowed it entry. 

She pulled away slightly to whisper against your mouth, “Wanna shower?” 

You nodded before kissing her again, pulling her closer to you. You missed her so bad; you needed her so bad—

Meow! Meowmeow! Meow! —

Ellie pulled away, and you saw that annoyed look on her face at her baby’s cries. You laughed and kissed her cheek before moving towards your bag for some clothes. 

You heard Ellie walk towards the little angel, mumbling do you hate gay people? be honest! to her as she meowed. 

“M’gonna shower, El.” 

“Okay, baby! Bathroom doors on the right side of the bed!” You heard her call back to you. 

You were so, so happy. 

After showering, you did your skincare and brushed your teeth before wrapping your hair. The anticipation of your little trip left you restless for two days, and your exhaustion was crashing into you all at once. 

You exited the bathroom to find a sweatsuit-clad Ellie already sitting on the edge of her bed and rolling a blunt, her back turned to you. 

She turned to look at you over her shoulder when you shut the bathroom door, “Hiii, babe, c’mere.” 

She set her blunt on the ashtray on her nightstand before flopping onto her back and making grabby hands at you. You laughed at her gestures softly as you snuggled into your side. 

She crawled up next to you, immediately connecting your lips and lifting your leg up to wrap around her waist. You couldn’t stop smiling into the kiss and it made her giggle with you. 

“Tired?” she whispered in your ear before kissing the space below it. You squirmed under her, but you nodded. She hummed against you before moving back to kiss your nose. 

“What’s the plan for tomorrow?” 

Her brows furrowed in confusion before they shot up in realization, “Oh, yeah, the fuck, sorry.” 

You giggled as you listened, “So, there’s two parties tomorrow. There’s the beach party, that’s the one we’re going to. And then there’s gonna be one at a club that Sai mixes for, we don’t have to go to that one if you don’t wanna, it’s up t’you.” 

Your interest perked at the mention of a club. You’ve never felt strongly about clubs one way or another, but you were very eager to make the most out of the two days you were here. You wanted to go everywhere with Ellie. 

“I’ll go to both.” 

“Yeah?” she smiled down at you.

“Yeah, El, sounds fun.” 

“Kay, baby, go to sleep.” 

She planted one more kiss to your nose and lips before shuffling off of you, scooting over to retrieve her discarded blunt from the ashtray. 

You pulled the covers back to get underneath them, and the minute your head hit the pillow, your eyes fluttered sleepily. The calming scent of Ellie engulfed you, and you drifted off to sleep. 

You woke up late the next day with Ellie’s back to your chest and your arm and leg thrown over her body. 

You shifted slightly to stretch and rub your eyes. You looked past Ellie’s head and at the small clock on the nightstand. It was almost ten. 

You sat up slowly, and you felt Ellie shift before she groggily mumbled, “You always wake up so damn early.” 

You huffed tiredly, “It’s not early, you’re just a light sleeper.” 

“I fucking hate it, you sleep like you’re dead.” 

You laughed quietly as she smiled. You got out from under the covers before turning back to her, seeing that she was already facing you. 

“What time we leaving?” 

She yawned as she answered, “Around noon. The beach isn’t far but traffic is gonna be crazy.”

You cracked your back before planting your feet on the cold floor before whispering, “Shower with me?” 

She instantly sat up at your suggestion and you rolled your eyes with a chuckle. She chased behind you, arms wrapping around your waist as she planted kisses to your neck. 

You’ll never get used to how pretty Ellie is. 

You rinsed the soap off your body as your eyes trailed over her dripping, bare form, taking in every scar, freckle, mole, hair, anything you could see. You were so, so in love with everything about her. You could feel her gaze burning holes into you like you were doing hers, but you couldn’t help your gawking. 

You were ready to pounce on her right now! 

The kiss she planted on your cheek broke your stupor, and you could feel her smiling on your skin. 

“Still stare hard as fuck,” she mumbled against your skin.

You smiled. “Fuck off, so do you.” 

She leaned in closer to you, and your smile dropped as you gazed into her intense eyes. They were so dark and wanton as she looked you up and down. Her nose brushed against yours as she spoke quietly, “I wanna kiss.” 

“Then kiss me,” you whispered. 

“Want you to kiss me,” she mumbled needily against your lips. 

You didn’t hesitate, wrapping your arms around her neck to pull her closer. Her breasts pressed up against yours as her hands grabbed your asscheeks, slowly walking forward to press you up against the wet wall. 

You gasped and arched closer into her when the cold surface touched your back, but her tongue sliding into your mouth distracted you instantly. She lifted your leg around her waist, and you stumbled unsteadily, but she pressed you even further into the wall to keep you stable. 

She grinded into you, planting wet kisses on your cheek, down to your jaw, and sucking marks into your neck. You panted out into the foggy bathroom, wet moans leaving your mouth as her tongue moved on your skin. 

Your cunt squeezed tight when she dug her teeth into your shoulder before, her hand coming up to yank the wet coils on your head. Your eyes fluttered closed when you felt her play with your nipples, her rough fingers rubbing and pulling on the hard buds. She sloppily kissed down your chest and sucked bruises into the skin. 

“Missed these fucking tits,” she groaned out against your chest, her free hand sliding down to your cunt. Her fingers immediately rubbed your clit in quick, tight circles. You could barely stand on your own as you bucked into her hand, the leg you held around her waist jerking at her touch. She shoved her face into your neck again, nipping the sensitive skin. 

“Needa fuck you, missed you s’fuckin’ bad.” 

You moaned out as you nodded eagerly, you needed her to fuck you just as badly. 

She suddenly pulled away from you to shut the water off, planting one more kiss to your mouth before grabbing your hand and pulling your dazed form out of the shower and to her bedroom. 

She pushed your still dripping body onto her bed, and you watched her pull her nightstand drawer open frantically as she dug around. Her breath was so heavy, and she was so eager to touch you, and you were just as eager for her. You needed her in your guts. 

She pulled out a blue strap and stepped into it, shakily adjusting the harness before dropping to her knees in front of your spread legs. She yanked you closer to the edge of the bed by your thighs and shoved her tongue inside you without warning. Her nose was brushing against your clit, and you watched her eyes roll back at your scent and taste and you moaned out. 

She was eating your cunt like you were paying her, it was so wet and sloppy and quick. The sounds that filled her room were disgusting, the nasty slurps and sucks nearly echoing in the quiet space. You would’ve been so embarrassed if you weren’t about to cum!

Your hands flew down to pull at her soaking hair, and one of her hands traveled up your body to massage your tits. Her nails dug into your nipples and your hips jerked off the bed, heavy pants leaving your mouth as the tension in your core built. 

“E-El, fuckmeplease— “

She slapped your tits before sucking your clit into her mouth, shaking her head between your trembling legs. You were yanking at her hair, digging your nails into her shoulder, begging her to fuck you into the bed. You needed her so badly! 

You looked down at her, and she looked up at you. She looked so fucking cute her flushed cheeks and glossy eyes as she ravished you. “Cum on m’face, baby, please, fuck— “

“M’gonna!” 

She released whiny mhmmhm!s against your bud like she was going to die if you didn’t cum in her mouth, like she needed to drink you to survive. Your eyes rolled back when you felt that strong pull in your belly, it’s right there! So close so close—

Your mouth dropped open in a silent scream as your orgasm hit you fast and hard, your head falling back onto her wet sheets as you shook through your release. You tried to lift your hips up so she could lick into you deeper, but her strong arms pinned you down, her nails digging into the plush on your hips. You hope they leave indents in your skin! 

You didn’t even get to recover from your first orgasm before Ellie climbed on top of you, slapping her dick on your clit a few times before pushing inside your clenching entrance, and you both groaned in unison as her body moved on top of yours. 

She was fucking you so hard the second she bottomed out, digging into you deep, and all you could do was take it. Your legs lifted and spread even wider on their own, your body working on autopilot to get her even deeper inside you. Her soaking body was fully pressed against you as she grinded her hips into yours, your nails digging into her back as you cried out, the skin moving under your nails.

“Ellie, mmh, fuck yes! —” 

“Feels s’fuckin’ good, babygirl, Jesus fuckin’ Christ— “

One of her arms hooked under your knee to lift your leg up even, and you screamed when her tip grazed against your cervix. 

“Uggh! El, can’t take i-t, fuuck— “

“Yeah, you can, you’re takin’ it so fuckin’ good, baby, shit, missed you so fucking bad.” 

You missed her, you missed her, you missed her! “M’gonnacumm’gonnacum, yesyesyesyes!”

“Fuck, baby, cum on this fuckin’ dick,” she gritted out right next to your ear and you shouted as another orgasm hit you, your walls squeezing down on her hard. She fucked you through it as she moaned out your name, the sloppy noises of your cunt mixing with your pleasured screams of her name. You didn’t think she could hit deeper, but she managed, and it made you cum harder. 

She stopped sucking on your neck to connect your lips, your tongues messily swiping against each other, her spit coating the outside of your mouth as you moaned into hers, the last remnants of your orgasm pulsing through you. 

You whined into the kiss before pushing at her shoulders, and she immediately pulled away to gently ask how you were doing.

You cut her off with one last hard push and she flipped onto her back, her dick leaving you with a nasty squelch before you clumsily straddled her waist. 

Your cheeks burned at the evident shock on her face before you watched her ogle your body. Your neck, your tits, your pulsing clit, everywhere. She looked like she was going to eat you alive! It was getting you so hot. 

You boldly reached behind you and grabbed her wet cock, holding eye contact with her as she brought her hands up to massage your tits. One of your hands gripped your tits on top of hers, and you brought her dick towards your drippy entrance. 

You popped the tip in and slowly sunk down on her. You watched her eyes drop to watch your pussy swallow her, and she let out a dazed fuuuck, releasing your tits to prop herself up on her elbows to get a better view. She looked so sexy like this, cheeks bright red and eyes glossy. 

You got more confident the deeper she slid, and your eyes flitted as every ridge caught on your walls. You were panting heavily when you took the last few inches, sat fully in her lap with your heart pounding in your ears. 

You watched her eye your cunt, and your hand trailed down your body to rub your wet clit, your fingers getting coated in your slick instantly. She moaned out before thrusting up, and you moaned even louder as painful pleasure shot through you. 

Your hips slowly rose before coming back down, your movements barely there. You took her slow, and it felt so good. 

She dropped back down onto her back, her hands flying to your hips to help guide you on her. You felt her nails digging into the plush skin as she moved you into a steady grind. Your free hand came up to grab her wrist as you followed her hands as best you could. You wanted to watch her watch you so badly, but you could barely keep your eyes open, it felt so good. 

They rolled back whenever she brushed up against that patchy spot inside you, and your hips grinded down harder. She was whining underneath you, grabbing at you everywhere, trying to get you closer to her clit. You’ve never seen her this desperate to cum, and it made you squeeze on her dick. 

You shakily shoved your wet fingers into her mouth, and you watched her eyes roll back into her skull as she moaned at your taste. She rocked your hips harder, pulling you down against her, but you pulled at her wrists to stop her. She lightened her grip instantly. 

You took a deep breath before leaning back, propping yourself up on her thighs, your knees coming up to point at her ceiling. She had a full view of your pussy full of her cock, and by the way her eyes fluttered as she gawked, she liked it! A lot!

You raised your hips before dropping them, and her dick hit somewhere deep inside you that your legs jerk closed, but she instantly pried them open to lightly slap your cunt. 

“Keep t-those fuckin’ legs open,” she sounded like she was drunk. 

You nodded as you moaned, experimentally bouncing on her again. You watched her head fall back as she moaned out, her bitten, wet lips parted as she cursed out into the room. You bounced again, and again, jumping on her harder until she sat up, wrapping a strong arm around your waist and quickly fucking up into you, digging as deep as she could in your cunt. Her bed started moving with your bodies as you wailed, one of your arms wrapping around her neck and pulling her close. 

“You’re so fuckin’ gorgeous, gonna make me cum so hard, what the fuck,” she was whimpering into your neck, and it forced more slick out of your cunt. You felt so sexy, so sensual, so desired by her, and the pleasure was making tears jerk in your eyes. 

“Want your cum in m’pussy, daddy! P-Please?” 

“Fuuuck! —“

She was hitting you so deep, and you both were so loud. She was sucking on your neck and mindlessly rubbing your clit with her free hand, her hand on your hip scratching you deep. You wanted her to rip you apart!

“Fuuuck, baby, m’so fucking close, fuckfuckfuckyeah!—“ 

You were screaming out wanton cries of fucking wan’it, daddy as you grinded down as hard as you could. You didn’t even care about your own orgasm; you needed her to cum! You were surrounded by your girlfriend, her warmth, her scent, and you wanted to drown in her. You would happily die here, right on top of her as you made her scream for you! You want her cum, you want it you want it—

You heard her moan loudly in your ear and it made you grind down even harder. She stopped rubbing your clit, wrapping both arms around your waist in a tight grip so she could hold you down right where she needed, your nails digging into her shoulder as she grinded out her orgasm in your cunt. You would give anything to feel the warmth of her filling you up, her creaming your insides. The nasty visuals in your head made you jerk on her. 

She moved her head up from your neck to connect your lips in a passionate kiss, the grinds of her hips slowing as she moaned into your mouth. Your hand flew up to her hair and pulled, and you felt her grind deeper. 

“M’about to say fuck the beach in a second,” she mumbled out against your mouth. You laughed softly before planting a smacking kiss on her cheek, your other arms wrapping around her neck. 

You both stiffened when you heard a thud come from the other side of her bed, Duchess swiftly jumping on the bed before flying across Ellie’s room like a bat out of hell and bolting out her door again. 

You both stared at each other before you busted out laughing, still winded, “She's actually the worst, feral ass.” 

“Watch your mouth, don’t talk about my baby like that!” 

“Did you raise her?! Ohhh, exactly— “ 

“She loves me more, you said it yours— “

You jolted when you felt her hand crack down on your asscheek, the stinging sensation immediately spreading on your skin. You let out a shock noise before jerking downward. You watched a sly grin appear on her face before she sucked her bottom lip into her mouth, her hands gripping your hips tighter. 

“Lay down.” 

And you shuddered in her lap at her tone.  

… Fuck the beach. 

You and Ellie barely made it to the Municipal Pier. 

You couldn’t keep your hands off each other! She damn near imprinted your bodies into her mattress with how passionately she fucked you… another three times! Your legs hurt so badly, how the hell were you going to trek through sand?!

When she finally got off you, you both threw on your rash guards and swim shorts before grabbing your bags and booking it downstairs. The party started at two, and it was already forty-five after! 

The ride over had been so fun, you and Ellie blasting music in her rental jeep as you moved through traffic, wind blowing past your ears. People were dressed in their bathing suits and swim shorts, barbecuing, buying fireworks for tonight. The city was lively, and you took it all in. 

You and Ellie waddled down the packed beach as you laughed amongst yourselves. The closer you got to the shore, the more you could make out the outline of Dina and Jesse snuggled up under the giant umbrella from a distance, and it made you so excited.

You ignored the discomfort in your thighs before grabbing Ellie’s hand in yours and clumsily bolting down the sand. 

Dina must’ve recognized your shouts of her name because she looked up and nearly flew into the air to run towards the two of you. You accepted her tight embrace, wrapping your arms around her as she kissed the top of your head. 

You opened your eyes to take in some of the groups. You recognized some of the faces: Riley and Abby (you saw her on the news a couple times! Hockey legend!) were relaxing on the lounge chairs as Isaiah and some of his friends ran up and down the shore with water guns and balloons. Jesse came up to you to pull you into a hug after Dina released you to embrace Ellie. 

Jesse walked you over to the blanket that was stocked with food, drinks, and pre-rolls as music blasted from the speaker on the edge of it. 

He pointed out everything for you, “Get whatever you like, there’s forks and plates over here. This is Isaiah’s little phone for the speaker, queue whatever song you want and come shoot with us!” 

He handed you the small IPhone before grabbing a water gun and sprinting towards Isaiah, shooting him with water. 

“I know that ain’t who I think it is!” 

A familiar voice came from in front of you. You looked up and were met with a surprised, but delighted Riley and Abby. 

“Gimme a hug, girl, what the fuck!” Riley got up from her chair and ran towards you, giving you a tight embrace, Abby doing the same with a soft smile. 

“What are you doing out here! Where’s your sister?!” 

You hesitated, “She’s… she couldn’t make it! Work and whatever, y’all know how it is.” 

“Aww, I miss her! I haven’t seen her in a minute,” Riley pouted slightly, Abby nodding in agreement. 

“She misses y’all, too,” you said immediately. 

She pinched your cheek before grabbing two water guns, slyly handing them to you and Abby before grabbing one for herself. 

“Gonna blast these motherfuckers, c’mon!” Abby screamed before bolting towards them while Riley shouted it’s a stick-uuup!, trailing her best friend closely. 

You turned to find Ellie and Dina sharing a pre-roll, giggling as they watched their friends shoot the shit out of each other with salt water. Ellie must’ve felt your eyes on her because she looked over at you, a soft glint in her eye as she stared lovingly at you. Your cheeks ran hot when she winked and nodded towards the laughing group, encouraging you to play with them. 

You bent over to grab the tub of water balloons before chasing after them. They all laughed when Isaiah snatched one and cracked you on the back with it, the freezing water making you shriek and shoot him with your toy gun. 

You wished your sister were here. You hoped she could reconnect with them soon. 

The sun set, and you were very tipsy. 

After blasting your newfound friends with water guns, swimming in the ocean, and attempting to surf without waves(dammit!), you all settled on your blankets laid out on the sand as young people passed around wearable glow sticks. 

You were currently chowing down on another lukewarm cheeseburger— it tasted like the best thing you’ve ever eaten thanks to the three pineapple margaritas you downed before this! —as you anticipated the little firework show. 

You heard some shuffling behind you and was met with Ellie’s squatted form and gentle smile before she kissed your cheek, “Feeling good, babe?” 

You nodded around your sandwich before shoving a couple potato chips in your mouth, clumsily resting your head on her shoulder. You heard her chuckle, planting gentle kisses to your head, “I’m gonna make a sandwich, gimme a sec, okay?” 

“Kay,” you whispered back before watching her get up and walk towards the paper plates and tupperware. 

You finished the last bit of your burger and chips when you felt another presence beside you. Isaiah! 

You grinned at him, “Hiii.”

He smiled, “Hey, man, how you been.” 

“Fine, I like your friends,” you said with a slight slur and a smile, pointing towards Dylan, Regine, and Marcus by the bonfire almost setting their marshmallow sticks on fire. You saw Regine smack the fuck out of Marcus’s head and snickered. 

“They like you more, they think you’re hilarious,” he added while laughing, shaking his head at them. 

“I’ve been told,” you said, miming flipping your hair over your shoulder. 

He chuckled again before quieting, “How’s, um… how’s your sister doing?” 

You sighed sadly at the mention of her as you stared at the water, “Still mad, I think. Planning my funeral.” 

“I don’t think so, you’re literally the only person she cares about,” he laughed sympathetically. 

“Have you talked to her?” you said, turning to face him as he stared off at the ocean. 

“A few times, didn’t get a good read on where we stand, though. Unfortunately,” you heard the sorrow in his tone. 

“Did she say anything about me?” your ears perked at the information of her being communicative. 

“… Nah, bro. M’sorry,” he denied gently. 

You deflated, but you nodded, “She, uh… she hasn’t answered me. I-I visited her a few times, but she didn’t answer.” 

“Just give her some time. She’s gonna come around at some point. I believe it.” 

You hoped that was true; This was the longest you’ve gone without speaking to her, and it still hurt you deeply. 

“Show’s gonna start soon. Wanna s’more?” he offered with a soft smile. 

“… Yes, please.” 

“Gotcha, lemme get you one.” 

You watched him slowly walk towards his friends, grabbing a skewer from its bag and sticking your marshmallow through it. 

You saw Ellie walk back over to you after talking to Riley with a full plate, smiling before she sat down beside you. You inspected the contents of her plate and laughed. 

She’d stacked a burger pattie, Hot Fries, and something that looked like tree bark between two buns. You shook your head at her, “And what the hell is that?!” 

“A fucking masterpiece, you wouldn’t understand!” Ellie laughed with red-tinted eyes. “You haven’t had real food until you’ve had a burger with chips, mustard, pickles, and jalapeño beef jerky. Fuck Gordon Ramsey!” 

You laughed harder as she took a large bite of her monstrosity, muffling out a this is real fucking food as she chewed with gusto. You giddily kissed her cheek, and she hummed happily when you rested your head on her shoulder. 

You sat in comfortable silence as she finished the tornado on her plate, you munching on the s’more that Isaiah brought you as he laughed quietly at Ellie’s grubbing. 

You saw the other beachgoers start to stand from their chairs and blankets, looking at the sky with their phones aimed upward in anticipation. You turned to look at Ellie’s relaxed state: she was leaning back on her hands, her legs outstretched as the gentle breeze moved through her hair as she looked at the sky. 

The firework show started, but you didn’t care to watch as you stared at your girlfriend, bright colors exploding above the two of you. She looked so innocent, her expression filled with wonder as she stared up at the colorful sky, and the world around you seemed to melt away the longer you focused on her. 

She turned her head to look at you, her tender eyes filling with affection, and your face burned as you smiled. She smiled at you just as brightly. 

She scooted closer to you, your shoulders now touching. You looked down at her lips, and you saw her look down at yours. You slowly leaned forward, your noses brushing against her before you kissed her. Your eyes shut, the colorful explosions shining beneath your fluttering eyelids as your lips molded with hers. She was so gentle, and your heart soared in your chest. 

You pulled away and looked at her fondly, and she did the same. You watched her lips move as she mouthed I love you, and you smiled widely, leaning in closer to nuzzle your nose against hers. 

You loved her just as much, if not more. 

A surprisingly sober Dylan offered to drive you and Ellie back to her apartment, which you happily accepted when Ellie stood wobbly from the blanket. 

You and Dylan guided her back to the parked jeep, making sure she was buckled in as you handed Dylan the keys from her backpack before jumping in next to your girlfriend. 

“Bro, I don’t think she’s going out tonight,” Dylan commented over his shoulder as you both stared at a very slumped Ellie. You’re never letting her touch a bong again! 

“Nah, probably not! Are you gonna be okay to get back?” You asked as he started the jeep. 

“Yeah, don’t trip, Marcus is gonna follow us and I’ll leave with them.” He backed out of the tight parking spot and eased into traffic. 

“Cool, I appreciate it,” Ellie snuggled up next to you, her face in your neck.

“Course, man, you’re good!” 

The traffic was horrendous, and it took so long to get back on the freeway, but after a lot of swerving and honking, the jeep pulled into Ellie’s apartment complex. Dylan helped you walk Ellie into the building and onto the elevator. 

“I got her from here, thank you so much,” you turned to look at your new friend as the elevator door opened, securing a hold on Ellie’s waist as he held the automatic door with his hand. 

“Don’t sweat it, this was so fucking fun, holy shit,” he said with a laugh, and it made you smile, Ellie nuzzling deeper into your neck to kiss it. She was fucking zooted, what the fuck!

“I had such a good time! I hope we can link soon.” 

“You coming back to Cali, or?” 

“I’d love to, hopefully real soon!” 

“Dope, I’ll see you then!” He said with a grin, and you waved to the best of your ability. 

You heard the elevator door shut as you and Ellie waddled down the hallway. You unlocked her door eased inside, shutting and locking it behind you. You kicked your slides off and dropped the bags onto the floor to walk you both to her room. 

“C’mon, hon, gotta getchu cleaned up,” you sat her down on the chair to help her undress so she could shower, but she wrapped her arms around your waist so she could rest her head on your stomach. 

“Love you s’much,” she barely mumbled against your clothed tummy. You smiled to yourself, kissing the top of her head before pushing her back into the seat so you could get her rash guard off. 

“Love you, too. Lift up, babe,” she listened, and you slid her swim shorts off. 

“M’sorry you… didn’t get to go out— “

“Hush! I’m fine, just wanted to spend time with you,” you helped her out of the chair, her arms wrapped tightly around your neck as you guided her to the bathroom. You let her rest against the bathroom sink so you could strip and turn the hot water on. Detangling your hair was about to be a bitch! 

“C’mon,” you whispered to Ellie as she nodded off behind you. She jolted as you gently pulled her under the stream, wetting her body and grabbing her soap and sponge. You washed her as thoroughly as you could, trying to get all the sand off her body; no one likes itching when they’re trying to sleep!

After you were satisfied, you grabbed her shampoo and washed her hair. You rubbed your soapy hands through her soft strands as gently as you could, massaging the suds in as she sighed happily. You watched her eyes flutter open slightly to look at you, and she smiled harder before shutting them once again. You couldn’t help the small grin that appeared on your face. 

You brought her under the stream once more so you could get the soap out before grabbing the conditioner and repeating the same thing. 

She was all clean and smelled so good!

You noticed her watching you clean yourself next, green eyes soft and glossy as she leaned against the shower wall. You sent her a gentle grin, and she slowly sent one back before she started giggling. 

You quickly parted, shampooed, and detangled your hair, getting all the sandy particles out of your coils before conditioning, and Ellie watched all of it with affection. 

You shut the water off when you were done washing up, grabbing Ellie’s towel from its rack, and wrapping her in it before guiding her out of the shower. You wrapped yourself in your towel before walking towards her sink to grab her toothbrush and paste.

“C’mon, El, open,” you grabbed her chin gently, and her jaw opened with a cracked ahhh. You giggled gently as you scrubbed her mouth, carefully getting around her tongue piercing before instructing her to spit in the sink. You gave her a shot of mouthwash, and she slowly swished it as you unraveled the towel from around her and dried her hair with it. She spit into the sink, and you kissed her cheek before guiding her to sit on her side of the bed. 

You grabbed an oversized shirt and boxers from her drawer before returning to where she sat to dress her. She lifted her arms so you could put her shirt on, unfolding her boxers so you could get them up her legs. She snickered before taking them from your grasp and shoving them on herself. 

“Alright,” you said blankly as she chuckled. “Go to bed.” 

“C’meeere,” she whined out playfully, making grabby hands at you. 

“I gotta feed the baby! And do my hair, go to sleep!” 

She didn’t argue, instantly plopping down onto her soft pillow. You tucked her in and kissed her forehead, quickly pecking her lips before walking over to your suitcase. 

You put on a t-shirt and cotton panties, grabbed your wide tooth, and headed to the bathroom. You heard soft jingles coming from Ellie's room, and you made kissy noises to lure in Duchess. 

The kitty watched you moisturize your scalp before putting your hair into four big twists from atop the closed toilet. You brushed your teeth and did your skincare before wrapping your head in your silk scarf. You picked up a purring Duchess and made your way to the living room to refill her food and water bowls.

You pet her gently as she drank. You gave her one last kiss before reentering Ellie's room and getting under the blankets as your girlfriend snored soundly. You snuggled up to her, wrapping your arm around her waist to pull her closely before sleep overtook you. 

You woke up to the smell of… pesto! 

Ellie wasn’t next to you, but you heard clunking coming from the kitchen as the cabinets opened and closed. You rubbed your eyes before reaching for your phone on the nightstand to check the time; Almost eleven. You sat up slowly, removing the blankets from your body to stretch. 

You got up and dazedly made your way over to the kitchen, a cozy-looking Ellie pulling out the orange juice jug from the fridge. She had a tray set up with fancy looking sandwiches, cut up fruit, and pastries. You smiled before clearing your throat. 

Your girlfriend jumped before turning, immediately relaxing at the sight of you as a grin spread across her face, “Scared me. Fuck.” 

“Sorry, you made breakfast?” 

“… Well, yes, I absolutely cooked all of this! You know I'm actually a licensed chef? Literally just got my $250,000 check from Food Network!” She said matter-of-factly as she poured the juice into glasses. 

You huffed out a laugh and shook your head, “You’re so annoying.” 

“You like it,” she hummed as she walked over to you, her scent overtaking your senses as she kissed you. “Wanna eat now?” 

You wrapped your arms around her neck, and hers came around your waist, “Depends, we got somewhere to be?” 

“Not right now, everyone wants to see you one last time before you fly out. We were planning to just go over to Sai’s place to chill.” 

You brightened at the mention of seeing them again, “His friends are so funny, oh my god!” 

“Dude, they fucking love you! I woke up to a whole bunch of texts from them asking when you’re coming back. Like I don’t fucking know, whenever she wants!” She said as she smiled. 

You laughed with her before you felt Duchess rub up against your bare leg. You released Ellie to pet her, “Mornin’, baby!” 

“Yeah, yeah, I’m gonna go eat while you play with the demon.” 

You gasped playfully, “Watch your mouth, bitch!”

You heard her chuckle as she walked into her room with the stocked tray. 

“She’ll never have the bond we do,” you whispered to the kitty, and she meowed in agreement. You kissed her head. 

“I heard you!” You heard her release a muffled shout. She’s really eating without you! 

Duchess rubbed against you and purred louder. 

You and Ellie woke up hours later to Duchess’s meows. 

After eating and showing Ellie the ninth season of Bad Girls Club, —she was so hurt to find out that the show got canceled! What d’you mean there’s no more fucking auditions?!— you gave each other toe-curling head, played with Duchess’s laser toy, and knocked out. 

You’d watched Ellie sit at her desk with her headphones, switching between her production software and her computer files before you dozed off to the sound of clicking keys. 

You didn’t feel her crawl into the bed next to you, but your heartbeat sped up when you felt her arm around you as she shifted. 

Meow meowmeow! Meo—

“Get your kid, bro,” Ellie grumbled sleepily against the back of your neck. You laughed tiredly. 

“Shut u— “

Meowmeow Meow! Meow!

“Alright, alright,” you blinked before moving away from Ellie and pulling the covers back so you could get up. You saw Duchess sitting politely in the entryway, and her meowing stopped the minute she saw you get up. She just stared at you. 

“What’s the matter?” You asked her softly. 

She just walked away. You heard Ellie snickering behind you. 

“I don’t why you’re laughing, we gotta get up soon, anyway. It’s almost eight,” you threw over your shoulder. 

She only laughed harder. 

Isaiah’s apartment building was fucking luxurious. Why were all your friends so fucking wealthy?! 

Ellie pulled up to one of the prettiest buildings you’ve seen in Beverly Hills, and needless to say you were gobsmacked! It was white and incredibly modern: large glass windows, balconies, a fucking gigantic pool that you could see from the small walkway between the buildings. What the hell!

You and Ellie walked hand in hand all the way to the entrance and elevators, all the way up until you reached Isaiah’s apartment on the highest floor. 

You and Ellie could hear the commotion going on the closer you got to his place, Ellie banging on the front door with an excited jump. She turned you to plant a frantic kiss on your forehead, “You’re so hot, fuck— “

“WELCOME TO MY CRIIIB!” 

A very intoxicated Dylan practically ripped the door off the hinges, Casamigos—oh, god— bottle in hand and party hat on his head. Music boomed from behind him, and you caught a glimpse of Jesse and Dina making out by the fridge. 

This didn’t look… chill! 

You wondered if you were a bit overdressed: Arya told you to bring one thottie dress, show them titties! for when you went clubbing, and you didn’t want to waste dry-cleaning it. It was simple and black, but it hugged your curves and showed some cleavage. Everyone else seemed pretty casual, including Ellie, who wore a black tee and her usual ripped jeans. 

… She did have her Cuban links on, though. Fuck. 

“You don’t live here, prick. Move,” Ellie tightened her grip on your hand and pulled you past Dylan, but he hugged you anyway. You hugged him just as giddily. 

“Look who’s heeere!” Ellie said to her friends in reference to you. Isaiah and Marcus, who’d been taking their shots on the couch, turned to look at you, excitement taking over both their faces. 

They rushed over to hug you both, handing you and Ellie a shot of… battery acid. They really drink straight vodka! 

You watched Ellie down it with a light cringe, and you followed in her lead, the burn making you cough a little, before making your way towards the sofa. 

“Is that my babyyy!”

You immediately grinned at the voice. 

Dina walked towards you with the brightest smile, pulling you in for the tightest hug before pulling back to look at you in faux anger, “Why the hell didn’t you say hi when you came in!”

“Y’all looked busy!” you said, gesturing to a flushed Jesse standing behind Dina. “I didn’t wanna interrupt!” 

“C’mon, you know you’re more important than him— “ 

“What the fuck!” He yelled in playful offense. 

Everyone’s laughter quieted by a voice coming from the hallway, “What’re y’all laughing at?” 

Regine appeared with a bright smile as Dina wrapped her arms around her neck. 

Ellie was very transparent about their short past before you two reconnected, but you couldn’t help the small swirl of jealousy when she pulled Ellie in for a hug. You knew it was completely friendly—she literally hugged everyone, including you, the same way! — but you squeezed Ellie’s hand harder, anyway. You felt her squeeze back before she kissed it. 

You eyed the vodka bottle on the table. 

… One more shot wouldn’t hurt. 

I MIGHT SLAP A TRACKER ON HIS WHIP AND GET TO ADDIN’! —

Hours passed and this seventh shot was hurting, but you didn’t give a fuck as you swallowed it down. 21 was on!

Everyone was dancing everywhere: on the bar stools, on the couch, on the dining table, everywhere! Why did he have such a hard grip on your generation?!

Regine was throwing it back on Dina, and she was throwing it back on Jesse as he tried not to fall off the couch while you, Ellie, Dylan, and Marcus screamed out about all of you hoes from different parts of the kitchen. 

You were dancing to the best of your ability from your barstool, committing to the chair twerk as you poured another shot for yourself, some liquid spilling over the glass and onto the counter. You set the bottle down clumsily, but before you could reach for your drink, your girlfriend snuck up behind you, snatched it from the counter and downed it. You watched her hand set the glass down before you heard her mumble the lyrics in your ear as she gently kissed your neck. 

Your face was burning, and your pussy squeezed! How was she so fine! 

You felt her hands come up to massage your shoulders and it took everything in your body not to jump on her in front of everyone here. 

“Dance with me?” She mumbled against your cheek as she kissed it. 

“I suck at it,” you pouted jokingly. She smiled against your skin. 

“So?” She whispered and massaged you even deeper. Your eyes fluttered, and you felt her smile wider. 

She grabbed your hand and guided you up out of your chair, spinning you goofily before pulling you close. You laughed at her attempts at sweetheart dancing; this did not match the song at all! She even tried to dip you, but she stumbled, and you almost fell. You giggled harder. 

But then See Red came on… the building nearly rattled. 

You perked up instantly at the harsh beat as everyone jumped in the middle of the living room to form a circle, Isaiah and Marcus immediately getting sturdy on the slippery rug. 

You were so happy. 

Everything calmed down after the noise complaint from downstairs. 

You were cuddled up next to Dina as you watched everyone play Cards Against Humanity. 

“Step one: kissing grandma on the forehead and turning off her life support. Step two: having sex for the first time. Step three: profit?” Dylan slurred out as he slowly read his cards with furrowed brows before looking at everyone for approval. 

Ellie and Jesse were the only ones who giggled. Tough crowd!

“That was wack, next!” Isaiah said as he pointed at Jesse. 

You heard his voice as he read off the cards, but you couldn’t put together what he was saying as Ellie stared at you with dark eyes. She was nibbling on the skin of her index finger as she looked at your face, down to your chest, over your bare legs before trailing back up again. She was fucking ogling you, and it made your thighs squeeze. You watched her grin devilishly at your movements. 

“El, your turn,” Jesse said as he looked at her, but she held your gaze. 

“Not playin’,” she mumbled against her finger. 

They moved onto Dina, and you squirmed in your seat, your nails digging into the arm of the couch. She eyed your every move like a hawk before pulling out her phone. You watched her type before she looked back up at you, then your phone dinged in your pocket. 

You pulled it out and unlocked it.

hi :0

hiiii bab y

u ok

ye

needa eat u out

You froze before immediately looking up at her. You saw her thighs squeezing together like yours were, subtly squirming in her chair. She looked around the room with a pout before looking down at her phone to type.

like rn

im so hieny

hor ny u make me sososo hirny u looks o good 

needa fcuk u rn need ur cum i n my mouth 

we can’t drive r n well die 

don’t care just needa eat ur pussy

bathhroom? 

“You good, hon?” Dina asked softly, and you nodded. She patted your thigh before turning back to the loud group. 

fuckme pls lol

She got up abruptly before stumbling down the hall, presumably to the bathroom. How the fuck do you follow her without looking suspicious! They seemed distracted enough—

You stood on autopilot, and everyone turned to look at you. 

“… You good?” Isaiah asked with his brows furrowed. 

“Yeah! Yup, just want a… a shot! Gonna go’n… and get it!” You chuckled awkwardly before walking towards the kitchen. You heard Jesse snort from behind you before their chatter built back up. 

You eyed them cautiously as you poured yourself a glass. 

Just stand here for a little and go! Don’t bring attention to yourself! 

They were laughing hysterically as Regine yelled about how something wasn’t fair, and you scurried down the hall to the bathroom door. Just as you were about to open it, Ellie did, her breath heavy and face flushed. You looked at her lips once before you were yanked into the bathroom by your waist, the door closing behind you with a slam. You cringed at the loud noise, but Ellie didn’t care. She pressed you up against the door and kissed you deeply. Her tongue slid into your mouth as she lifted your dress up around your hips. 

“We’re leaving after this, gonna get a fucking Uber, I don’t care,” she mumbled against your mouth, and you nodded eagerly before reconnecting your lips. You grabbed her by her hips to pull her closer, unbuckling her belt and unbuttoning her jeans. She bucked into you as she kissed all over your neck. 

“Needa eat your pussy, baby,” she was sucking on your neck desperately. 

“Later, El, j-just do it later,” you heard her let out a whine of complaint before she nodded. You shoved your hand in her jeans and your fingers were instantly wet with her slick. Her hips bucked into your hand before she whimpered into your neck, bringing her hand up to rub your clit through your panties. 

You rubbed her slippery clit in fast circles as she breathed heavily in your ear, releasing small noises of pleasure. Her movements on you seemed like she was trying to keep up with your pace on her, but she was falling behind. You didn’t care, she was so cute when she got like this! 

“F-Fuck, mmh!” 

Ellie’s hand pulled away from you to prop up against the door to steady herself. She opened her legs wider when you slid your index and middle finger down to her entrance, your palm pressed into her clit as you slow pressed them in. Her wet, gooey walls cling to your digits, and you heard a slight smack against granite when her hand landed on the counter. 

You grinded your fingers in as you watched her jaw fall open, sweat glistening on her forehead and her cheeks red under the blue LED light. 

“Feels good? Okay?” She nodded slowly at your inquiries as she gasped, leaning forward to connect your lips. She shoved her tongue in your mouth as she squeezed your jaw. Her lips wrapped around your tongue to suck on it gently. You pressed your fingers deeper at her action, and she moaned brainlessly on the muscle in your mouth. You pulled back and let out a quick shhh!

She was practically riding your hand, grinding her hips back and forth as you craned your wrist to hit deeper. The tips of your fingers finally grazed that spot in her cunt, and her knees buckled. The noises she was making were increasing in volume, and your heartbeat was picking up in pace.

“Ellie, babe, be quiet, please,” You could feel her getting even wetter at your commands. Even though you were silently praying to not get caught, you couldn’t help the desire growing in your belly from Ellie’s eagerness. You made sure to grind in deeper.

“You’re gonna m-make me… cum really hard, I’m— “ 

“I know, baby, just— “

“I’m gonna scream, I can’t— “ 

You looked around quickly before grabbing the washcloth on the counter and shoving it in her mouth to cut off her frantic rambles. She didn’t protest, and you watched her eyes flutter as she moaned around the small towel. Her head plopped onto your shoulder, and you felt her body start to tense up, the squeezes of her walls getting stronger around you. 

Her muffled warnings of her orgasm were cut off when she wailed, her walls practically milking your fingers hard. You felt her calloused hand grab your wrist as she fucked down onto you. At some point, the towel dropped from her mouth, and you felt her teeth dig into your shoulder as she cried out, and you whined at the pain, more slick pooling in your panties. 

You fucked her through her orgasm until she started to relax against you, her choked gasps easing into satisfied sighs. 

You pulled your fingers out slowly to rub her clit, her grip on your wrists tightening as she whimpered a quick nonono against your skin. You snickered before removing your drenched fingers from her boxers. You gently kissed her head, and she lifted up. You held eye contact with her when you brought your fingers up to your mouth and sucked them clean. She bit her bottom lip before grabbing your hand to pull your fingers towards her mouth, mimicking your actions. You shuddered when you felt her tongue swirl around them before pulling back to kiss them. 

She pulled you closer by your bunched up dress and kissed you, her tongue messily gliding against yours. 

You felt her thumbs hook into the elastic of your panties before you pushed her away gently, “No, El, they probably fucking heard— “

“Don’t care— “

“Let’s just go,” you whispered as you grabbed her pouty face in both hands. “I’ve never… used a Hitachi before?” 

She instantly perked up at your suggestion, her eyes twinkling. She fixed her appearance in the mirror, adjusting her non-existent tie as you giggled to yourself. She ordered the Uber as you fixed your dress and washed your hands. She opened the door and led you out with her hand in yours. 

The minute you reentered the living room, everyone’s chatter quieted, and your heart sank. Your face burned intensely as you gazed at your friends, their smirks and quiet giggles making you hide behind Ellie. They definitely heard! 

“Hey, lovebirds,” Jesse muttered around a pretzel with a sly grin. 

“Don’t talk to me, we’re leaving in a little,” Ellie muttered as she blushed, and everyone laughed. 

“I’m sure y’all are, Uber?” Dina asked as Isaiah and Marcus snickered. You both nodded with your heads tilted downward. 

Neither of you said anything as you moved towards the barstools as you waited for the car. Ellie rested her head on your shoulder as you sat as she kissed the exposed skin. 

You saw Dina smile fondly at the two of you.

You tried to hide your smile, but you failed. 

The ride home felt excruciatingly long. 

Ellie couldn’t keep her hands off your legs, rubbing them up and down, grabbing them, trying to spread them even though you stopped her. You were not about to get frisky in this poor old man’s car! Reggie didn’t deserve that! 

You practically raced into the elevator, her lips immediately pressing to yours as you both smiled and laughed. 

She pulled you into the hallway when the elevator opened, clumsily unlocking her door before pulling you both inside. You pushed her against the door this time, your lips reconnected as she held you close.

Meowmeow! MEOW—

Ellie pulled away from you as her head thudded back against the door, “We’ll never know fucking peace— “

“Hiii, my love!” You immediately ran over to the crying kitty, picking her up from the floor and hugging her close. 

You pressed kisses all over her as you petted her head, and she purred in your arms. 

You watched Ellie refill her bowls and clean her litter before heading into her room. You put Duchess down and allowed her to eat and you followed Ellie into her room. She was in the middle of undressing, and you stared at her toned, bare back as she moved. She sat on the edge of her bed and propped herself up on her elbows, still clad in her boxers.

She stared at you as you shuffled shyly in the door frame, her Cuban dangling between her breasts and her hair mussed. 

She looked you up and down before whispering a soft c’mere.

You followed her instructions, gently shutting her door and removing your small purse from around you to place on her desk. You turned, met her fond eyes, and smiled. You pulled your dress over your head and tossed it to the floor, only clad in your bra and panties. Her eyes were filled with devotion and tenderness as she scanned your body. You felt like you were boiling. 

You slowly walked over to her, and she sat up, her hands grabbing your hips as she lightly kissed all over the skin of your tummy. You sighed happily as you ran your fingers through her hair. You bent down to kiss the top of her head. 

“Love you so much, baby,” she mumbled to you against your skin. 

“Love you more,” you gasped out when she reached out to squeeze your ass, planting kisses all over your thighs.

She hooked her thumbs into your damp panties and pulled them down your legs. You stepped out of them, and she pulled your thigh over her lap so you could straddle her. 

You pressed your lips to hers, and she released a soft sigh through her nose. You pushed her back, so she laid flat, your chest pressed to hers and she lightly scratched her nails down your back. You grinded down on her lap when dug her nails in slightly. 

She pecked your lips one last time before her head plopped back down, a wide grin on her face as she whispered to you, “Still wanna use the wand?” 

You nodded before kissing her again. She grabbed your ass in her hand before patting it lightly, ushering you to lift up slightly so she could wiggle under you. She moved up the bed as you crawled on top of her until her head rested on the pillows. 

You unclasped your bra and tossed it as she rummaged through her drawer, pulling out the wireless, white toy and handing it to you. “Hold that for a sec.” 

She clumsily pulled her boxers halfway down her thighs. You curiously pressed the first of three buttons, and the entire toy rattled strongly in your hand. Oh.

“… Damn.” 

She giggled quietly, “Mhm, there’s a bunch of other settings. Here.” 

You held the toy out to her. She pressed the button underneath the first, and it immediately started pulsing. She pressed it again and the pulses slowed. 

“See which ones you like,” she brought her arm behind her head to rest while the other one massaged your tits softly. 

“Where’s the… slower ones,” you huffed shyly. 

She pressed the second button three times, and the steady pulses ran all the way up your arm. You sighed at the sensations. 

“Like that?” she whispered to you, and you shrugged. 

“Think so.” 

“Take your time.” 

She patiently rubbed your hip as you brought the large bulb of the toy to your tits. Your hips jerked every time it shook against your nipple, small gasps leaving your lips. You looked at her, and your pussy squeezed on top of hers. 

Her nipples were hard, and her eyes were black, but she made no effort to touch you. She just watched in curious silence. 

You brought your free hand up to massage your other breast, and your eyes shut as you grinded on her. 

“You’re so pretty,” you heard her gasp out, her hands digging into your thighs. 

Your cheeks ignited further, “So are you.” 

You grinded down harder on her, and she bucked up against you. Your slick mixed with hers as your breaths increased. 

Your eyes opened and you changed the setting, the pulses increasing slightly. You brought the toy down to her nipple, she immediately started squirming under you, her eyelids quivering. 

You played with her other nipple, and she mewled. You pressed the button, and the timed thrums intensified. She moaned aloud. 

“Okay?”

She nodded at you quickly as she slurred, “It’s s’good, shit.” 

You leaned down to peck her lips before kissing down her neck, sucking into the skin that made her shiver. You missed down her chest before taking her unoccupied nipple in your mouth, pressing the toy deeper into the other. You flicked your tongue around the bud before sucking on it vigorously. 

“Feels like m’gonna cum,” you heard her gasp out in warning above you, surprise evident in her voice. 

“Really?” you released her nipple in shock. Your walls squeezed eagerly at the thought.

“I… I dunno? I’ve never cum like this.” 

“You wanna?” 

“Want you to c-cum with me.” 

“Okay, baby,” and you kissed her nose before moving the toy away from her. She tried to catch her breath. 

You clicked the button, and the toy instantly shook from the powerful vibrations; It made you jump. Ellie released a choked laugh, “That one’s the hardest.” 

“… Oh.” 

She smirked before whispering like she was sharing her dirtiest secret, “It makes me squirt.” 

You hummed at the information, and she giggled. You pressed the second one and the pulses built up again. 

Her chuckles eased into sighs when you placed the shaking silicone between both your pussies, you and your girlfriend’s clits smooshing the toy. You both sighed in unison as the feeling shook your core.

Ellie moaned out your name, “Fuck, shit, baby.”

You felt her legs twisting underneath you, her nails scratching the meat of your ass. 

She was whining your name out, and you knew she was close. “I’m g’na cuuum— “

“Cum for me, Ellie,” you shakily cooed at her. 

She was crying out uh huhs before her entire body locked up underneath you, her hand slamming into her mattress to grasp her sheets before she let out a pleased squeal. You watched her orgasm rock through her: her eyes were rolled back, freckled cheeks a deep red, her sweaty chest rising up and down with every harsh breath. You’ll never get over how beautiful she is. 

You pressed the third button and Ellie nearly curled in on herself. 

Your eyes rolled back as your orgasm built quickly in your gut, your walls clenching tightly.

“Choke me, baby, pleasepleasefuck— “

You carefully wrapped your hand around her throat and squeezed the sides like she does to you, and her eyes crossed in her skull. Her hand wrapped around your wrist to hold you there. 

She wheezed with glossy eyes, “M’gonna cum so fucking hard— “

“C-Cum on me, El, please— “

She breathed in a deep gasp, “I’m cummingm’cumming!—“

She screamed out, and you felt a splash of wetness between your legs, and it triggered your own orgasm. 

Your hand dropped from her neck to catch yourself as you fell forward, your body shaking on top of her as tears filled your eyes. Your clit jumped on the silicone as slick left your entrance, your walls clenching tight around nothing. Ellie was sobbing under you as more of her cum landed on the mattress, leaving a hefty puddle on her blankets. 

It felt like your orgasm lasted minutes before overstimulation rocked through you, your legs trying to shut around the toy. Ellie grabbed your wrist to pull the toy from between your bodies, tossing the juddering object somewhere on the bed. Your body twitched on hers, the aftershocks rocking through you as you rested on her. 

You felt Ellie quivering under you, and you looked up slowly to check on her. She dreamily stared at the ceiling as she caught her breath. 

“O-kay?” You asked brokenly. 

She only nodded before kissing your head. 

You plopped back onto her in exhaustion. 

After you both regathered your strength, you changed the linen and showered. 

Ellie was laying on your bare chest as you massaged her scalp. 

“… El?”

She hummed. 

“I’m gonna try’n talk to her again.”

“Want me there with you?” she asked immediately, and your heart fluttered with gratitude. 

“No, babe,” you stared intensely at the ceiling, “just wanted to let you know that I have to tell her everything.”

She didn’t say anything immediately, but she kissed your chest gently in comfort. 

“I love you.” 

Tears jerked in your eyes. 

“I love you, too.” 

Your sister set her phone down on the pillow next to her. She sighed heavily before shutting her eyes.

When your mom told her you were in California, she didn’t know how to react. She didn’t react, she only listened. 

She listened to your mother’s voice as she explained the ventures you and her were on, sending her the pictures you sent your mother of the beaches, sunsets, and fireworks. 

She couldn’t ignore the concern that bloomed in her chest when your mother told her you talked to your therapist recently: were you okay? How were you behaving? You hadn’t been in years, and she was scared that she triggered something deep within you. 

But when she only heard good news of you and your thriving social life, she was… confused. Your sister had been living on autopilot for months: get up, go to work, smoke, sleep. Everyday since you fought. How were you suddenly so… normal? So happy? What were you on? She’s never heard of you being this bright since you were a toddler. 

Her suspicions were confirmed about you and Ellie, though. She knew your instinctive need to defend her hinted at something deeper. Were the two of you dating, now? Most likely. How did she feel about it? She wasn’t sure, yet. 

For the longest time, all your sister had was you. She was the one you called when she was happy, depressed, anxious, in love, and you never complained. You always showed up to support her without fail, and she couldn’t help but feel guilty that she wasn’t extending that same courtesy to you, especially now that you were at your most radiant. 

When Isaiah mentioned you on their phone call saying how much you missed her and wished she were there, her heart dropped, and her regret began to set in. You were still thinking about her after all this time? Even with all this animosity between you two? 

… Did Ellie still hate her? Or had you been correct about her wanting to apologize? Did she ruin any chance for reconciliation with her harsh temperament? 

She missed you tremendously. 

And she finally accepted that she missed Ellie just the same. 

She opened the text messages between the two of you, and tears jerked in her eyes at the last one you sent. 

She typed as her hands trembled. 

come see me when you get back? 

Her tears fell at your almost instantaneous response. 

of course 

She sobbed herself to sleep that night as shame and yearning consumed her. 

one more pt to go :(

hi lil taglist love yall so bad :3 @fandomshitpostingqueen, @elsivy , @nymphetkoo, @sawaagyapong , @amitycat, @nil-eena , @onallfoursforellie, @letsreadsomesins-shallwe , @gold-dustwomxn

last pt :(.

[canonicallyobserving911]

Buck & Eddie: 7x4 and 7x5 stills in episode order???

When the two separate synopses were released for 7x4, I wondered how 9-1-1 was going to fit everything into the episode that was released via the BTS stills but then I realized they wouldn't be able to especially since the length of each one (without advertisements) is only 42 to 45 minutes. Also, it appears there will be three main storylines, i.e. Athena and Harry, Hen's life changing news and Buck being bothered and bewildered.

After considering all of the information that's been released, a few days ago, I figured the stills of Buck and Eddie in Buck’s loft, the ones of them talking in the firehouse gym and the one of Eddie and Bobby's conversation wouldn't be included in 7x4. Additionally, I remembered the way 3x5 "Rage" ended with Buck and Eddie still on the outs and they didn't reconcile until the end of 3x6 "Monsters" when Buck made Eddie talk to him. With OS recently commenting on someone's IG post about how the two pictures of Buck and Eddie in the loft are from 7x5, it added confirmation to my analysis.

Since I'm a visual person, I like to see things in their totality instead of in increments the way the BTS pics have been released. Therefore, I've put all the stills together in a way that IMO, could be how they'll play out during each episode and there's one picture of Buck by himself that was released but I believe it deals with something else. I've included it at the end because I'm going to do a separate post on it.

Before I delve into this, here's my UNPOPULAR OPINION. I ship Buddie and only Buddie but I have to admit, I'm not really excited about this storyline because IMO, the audience has seen it before in 3x5 and 3x6 when Eddie was temporarily partnered with Lena (post linked here). Sure, he didn't leave the 118 but Eddie did have a new work partner who Buck was clearly not happy about. Also, even though Eddie didn't tell Buck about her, it was evident by Buck's reaction, he was in fact jealous since he thought he was being replaced and it seemed to be part of the reason why he filed the lawsuit (not the only reason but part of it). Reminder, he was ok with being the Fire Marshall until he heard Lena call Eddie's name in 3x4 then once he saw her, he asked Bobby, "You replaced me?"

At this point, in six years, I hoped Buck and Eddie would be at a place in their partnership where they can actually discuss things like adults instead of Buck lashing out. Please don't misunderstand me because I get it, Buck's worried about being abandoned again so it's understandable and this time he doesn't have anyone to cling to. But if they would let him go back to therapy like he went on his own in season 4, maybe he could spend time working on himself and this storyline could have been avoided. Will I change my mind before Thursday... honestly, I'm not sure.

Back to the regularly schedule program...

7x4 "Buck, Bothered and Bewildered"

Based on the look on Buck's face in the stills from them at Air Rescue, IMO, it's likely this scene could happen first because he seems to be bothered and bewildered by how close Eddie and Tommy are. Hopefully there's a scene before this one that explains how they became fast friends but it's also possible it'll be another scenario where Eddie magically contacts Tommy or vice versa and they start hanging out but the audience won't see it the same way we didn't see how Eddie magically got M's phone number? 🤷🏽‍♀️

Full disclosure: I don't trust Tommy Kinard and I've already posted about my reasoning (linked here) and I may elaborate on it but I really don't want to because I'd rather not focus anymore of my attention on the character.

Buck's face in the stills below while he's at the firehouse, appear to be hopeful like he got his "Eddie" back but when he sees him walk away, he gets that sad look in his eyes like he's being left behind again. That's why IMO, it happens before the basketball court scene but after them being at Air Rescue.

I tried to put the pictures below in order but since there's no context for when some of them happen, I added them where I thought they should go. Also, since Buck's bag is still on his shoulder in the third picture with him holding the basketball, I figured it happens before they start playing. Maybe Chimney hands it to him and he looks at Eddie and Tommy like him and Chimney are going to win the game.

IMO, Buck will have a conversation with Maddie before the end of the episode and that's when JLH's leaked script will come into play. Also, I believe Chimney will be the one to tell Buck he's acting irrationally then he'll ask him if something else might be going on. Reminder, he's going to be on the court with them and he'll witness the event.

It appears 7x4 will end with them still upset with one another just like 3x5 ended with them not talking.

7x5 - "You don't know me"

I've already completed a post on the title of the episode (linked here) but I do believe multiple people will say, "You don't know me" throughout the episode, including Eddie possibly saying it to Tommy.

When the episode begins, Buck and Eddie still won't be communicating just like they weren't in 3x6. Also, since there aren't any stills that show Tommy and Eddie discussing an available job position at Air Rescue, the only information that was made available came from one of the promos that included Bobby telling Eddie, "I can't tell you how to feel about this job, only you can do that" so it appears Eddie's going to be presented with the option to leave the 118 again either at the end of 7x4 or the beginning of 7x5 but I think his conversation with Bobby will happen at the beginning of 7x5.

Now, ever since TM (showrunner) released the two pictures below in advance of season 7, they've always perplexed me and it's mainly due to the looks on their faces, more so Buck's because he doesn't look angry or frustrated, he just looks tired like he's retreating or giving up. Initially, I didn't speculate on the pictures because I had no idea what was going on and I'm still not sure but based on the things that have been released regarding the episodes, IMO, Buck will apologize just like he did in 3x6 followed by him telling Eddie that he'll have his back if he wants to leave the 118 and go to Air Rescue. Reminder, the last time Eddie left in 5x10, he told Buck in front of Hen and Ravi but the audience only caught a glimpse of Buck's reaction.

I believe the stills below will happen towards the end of the episode and it will be similar to their conversation that happened in the firehouse in 3x6 with a little bit of the 3x9 kitchen scene thrown in. My reasoning is because they're at Buck's loft and Buck will be sitting alone probably pondering what he should do next since it'll be a strong possibility (for him at least) that Eddie will leave and he'll have to find a new partner.

I think Eddie will say something similar to the things he said in 3x6, "I forgive you. Just don't let it happen again" but this time it'll be different and more along the lines of how they talked in 3x9 (related post linked here).

This is where their dynamic seems to change because unlike 3x9, Eddie's not leaned against the counter, he's actually touching Buck's shoulder and his waist the same way he did in 3x1 during Buck's surprise welcome back party but they're the only two present 👀.

When I saw the picture above, I had an immediate reaction to it because it reminded me of something the audience has seen before. I'm not going to include my thoughts on it in this post but I will do a separate one about it.

The point of this post is to illustrate with the BTS stills how the scenes in the next two episodes with Buck and Eddie could play out. Will they finally take the leap at the end of 7x5 and become a CANON couple or will the show continue to delay the inevitable? Only the showrunner, writers, producers, actors and actresses know the answer to that question. Hopefully, they will start their romantic relationship because it's been six years and there's no reason to keep delaying it.

[obxone]

Fading Castles

Edited-ish. ~775 words

“I’m not okay,” he whispers beside you, the heel of his palms pressing against his eyes. He is close to the edge, and you are afraid he will slip over it before you get the chance to pull him back.

“What happened?” You whisper, hand soothing a trail over his back. “Rafe?”

“I’m trying to get better,” he says, lifting his head and looking at you. You frown, noting the misery on his face. “And it does not seem to be working. I keep messing things up.”

If someone had told you this is how your night would be going, you would have called them a liar as Rafe stares at you. He had been cold and impersonal with you since the moment you had met. But tonight, you are getting a glimpse past that hard, shiny outside surface, and it both terrifies you and exhilarates you.

Moving your hand to cup his face, you stare at him sadly. The pad of your thumb swipes away the tear tracking down his cheek. “What happened?”

He swallows before he is up and pacing away from you. The empty parking lot is lowly lit, but you can still see him. The normal kook attire that he and all of his buddies seemed to wear sticks out like a sore thumb against the cracked and weed infested beach parking lot.

“Rafe?”

He runs his hand over his face. “I…I tried to hurt Sarah.”

“How?”

He looks anywhere but at you. The toe of his sneaker scraps across the cracked pavement. “Um…I-I...I got angry about her and the pogues. I grabbed her, and I tried to choke her.” He exhales a shaky breath. “I had my hands around her neck…”

You exhale and stand, smoothing your hands down your jean shorts to calm yourself. Alarms blaring in your head at his description of the events prior to him finding you on the beach. He is drunk. The expensive smashed bourbon bottle at the entrance of the beach pathway is a clear indication of how much he is trying to drown out the pain. Being afraid of Rafe would be an understatement as you watch the kook prince pace in front of you. He seems to teeter on the edge of madness and pity.

“Why are you here, Rafe?”

He stops walking and finally meets your gaze. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

You nod, arms crossing over your waist. “Your dad?”

He shakes his head, a heartbreakingly sad chuckle leaving him. “Sarah’s his favorite.”

“Ah.”

“I can go…” He looks over his shoulder towards the highway. If he went left, he would end up back in Figure 8 and if he went right he would end up in The Cut.

You can not let him walk away, not like this. Figure 8 would tattle, and The Cut would destroy him in his current state.

“No,” you murmur and close the space between you. Your arms wrap around his waist, and you hug him. It surprises you both, but he does not pull away. Instead, he hesitates, but eventually, his arms circle around your shoulders, and his head drops to rest on yours. “I’m sorry that you are losing control and have no one to turn to.”

He swallows, it is audible, but otherwise, he stays silent until you end the hug and step back.

“I know I’m only a girl that serves you and your buddies drinks at the Island Club, but I think you are right…” You try to sort out how to word your train of thought without making him angry again. If he could harm his own sister, there is no telling what he could do to you if provoked. “I do think you are not okay. You hurt people, and it is terrifying at times.”

He nods, wiping his face before reaching for you again. He tugs you back against his chest, and you let him. He is warm against the chill of the October breeze pushing in from the sea. A shiver runs through you, and he seems to hold you tighter.

“Therapy is a good option. Like a professional.”

He blows a breath out before his gaze meets yours after you look up at him.

“You care, don’t you?”

You bite your lip before nodding once.

“Why?”

“Because everyone deserves to have someone in their corner.”

He closes his eyes briefly before opening them again. Those brilliant blue eyes make you long for the summer days on the beach, playing in the ocean, and being carefree.

“You have me, Rafe. I know I’m just me…”

He smiles a little. “I like just you.”