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#benefits of walking everyday
harmeet-saggi · 11 months
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Steps To A Healthier You: The Surprising Benefits Of Just 8,000 Steps A Week
Is walking the underrated exercise you've been missing out on? Can something as simple as a daily walk really lead to a healthier you? If you're wondering about the benefits of walking every day, its impact on weight loss, and the optimal daily steps for fitness, you're in the right place. In this comprehensive 1500-word guide, we'll uncover the secrets behind walking exercise and why taking just 8,000 steps a week can be a game-changer for your health.
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maacare2023 · 2 years
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Top 15 Major Health Benefits Of Walking Every Day
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fitnesflag · 5 months
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fitness benefits
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devilsskettle · 6 months
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i hate that this website has location based ads now like it's one thing to promote the local grocery store chain to me but i am seeing ads for my workplace now :/
#stop it......#i don't want to go back but this is the last sick day i can reasonably take#i probably should've gone back today but i told them when i was still feeling worse that i wasn't coming in.......#ohhhh i dread going in tomorrow so much. i don't even dislike this job i just hate being somewhere everyday#each day feeling its meaninglessness...... my meaninglessness in the space.......... the repetition and redundancy#selling people who don't need to be there things that they don't need#standing all day long just fucking bored#hoping that enough has happened since i've been gone that people can fill me in#ugggh because it's soooo boring but stressful to have to generate conversation with the same people every day#when nothing new ever happens#and i get sick of everybody even the people that i like and i don't really think anybody likes me that much either#i guess i felt this when i worked there part time but because i only had to be there part time it wasn't this constant gnawing feeling#and they didn't have me in the shop all the time....... this schedule is fucking killing me#i walk there i stand all day and i walk home#that's one of the reasons i haven't come back in yet - i was so dizzy and nauseous that the idea of standing all day was like.#i obviously can't fucking do that even if i would otherwise feel well enough to come in#if i had a sitting job then it wouldn't matter if i was a little dizzy#but getting back and forth to work and then standing for 8 hours. even when i'm feeling well it's kind of a lot#idk i guess i'm pretty unhappy with this job and where i am in life etc but i can't quit rn because what else would i do#there's literally job of this type that is going to pay as well and have good benefits#and i'm not qualified yet for the type of work i hope to do in the future#so i just gotta wait it out but it feels like. endless.#sigh anyway i'm just lazy lol#all this is to say. stop putting ads for my workplace on my dash lol i don't need to see all that
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sallytwo · 1 year
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you seem like someone who would like reuben james by the kingston trio (<- compliment)
https://youtu.be/J_lPSX38zWk
THIS IS SOOO GOOD THANKS FOR TELLING ME ABOUT IT… i unironically love old folk sea shanties so much i know i’m so stereotypical. it reminds me of the mary ellen carter by stan rodgers…
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tardis--dreams · 10 months
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I haven't gone running in over 3 weeks now. Maybe i should do that again and i'll stop feeling like roadkill
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goodmorningglory · 1 year
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where's the "can someone please be proud ofe, like fuck i'm trying my best" post when you need it
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gender-euphowrya · 5 months
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they should invent a my grandma who understands other people not being like her
#like. objectively i should go on walks. it would benefit me & my health#but in fucking practice I HATE IT. i don't like it. i don't enjoy it. it fucking sucks. i don't want to do it.#forcing myself to do it is fucking terrible. it makes my body hurt. it feels like a waste of time.#it requires an amount of prep work that i just Don't have the energy for on most days#and i just am 0% motivated to do it because I Do Not Like Walking. if it's walking to go somewhere then. fine.#walking just for the sake of walking ? with no destination ? pure fucking bullshit. boring. pointless. awful.#how am i supposed to be motivated for it when there's no end goal ?#if i go outside to idk get groceries then that's what keeps me going. i need to get groceries#if i'm outside and the only goal i have is one i set up myself which is just a nebulous ''go around the block a few times''#which i am in no way obligated to do Or interested in doing and that i can just. decide Not to do without consequences#then i won't have the fucking drive to do it ! man i can just walk back into my home right now#SO ANYWAY grandma is like the exact opposite of that. bitch loves walking. walks Everywhere. can walk miles. will walk in any weather#and she just... doesn't get that we feel very different ways gkfjdjd#''oooh you should walk and walk everyday It's Good For Youuuu'' and she acts like i don't walk because I Don't Understand That It's Good#sis i'm not fucking stupid i know the health benefits & everything I DONT ENJOY IT THOUGH#same way i know the health benefits of eating veggies but i still Don't do that because i can't stand them !!!!#god fuck Whatever about my health lmao like. i'm here for a good time not a long one !!!!#do you think when i'm old and dying i'm gonna be like ''aaah i'm glad i spent so much time doing things i hated so i could live longer''#nah mate i'm gonna think ''well this was a GOOD one i got to do all the stuff i loved yippee'' and croak
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monster-noises · 8 months
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really wish I could spend the day laying on the couch and chilling but it always makes my brain feel like sleepy starving mush instead of being restful and recuperative
it's like a really low stakes version of that movie Crank. if I want my brain to work like normal I have to be in constant motion.. I won't die or anything but I won't be able to think clearly, I'll feel really vaguely Bothered and Antsy for no reason, and there's a chance I'll get a slight but really annoying headache
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chunghasweetie · 4 months
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𝐇𝐄 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐄 | J.JK
— part 2
— pairing | fem!oc x dealer!jjk
— summary | always giving out free shit to his favorite customer
— warning | bad writing (i’m doing my best)
smut, bickering, cussing, drugs🍃, plug jk, dirty talk, belittling, pussy eating, protected sex, porn making, friends with benefits(?), etc
— word count | 2.09k words
— song suggestion | everyday — ariana grande
“I can’t believe this man is really out here waiting outside like this.” Y/n groaned to herself.
She was meeting him once again for pre rolls, some dispos, and enough weed for her and her best friends.
Usually for anyone else it would be a bit strange for a plug to show up at their front door but Jungkook seemed very comfortable doing so.
Unluckily for her, she was very close to the plug.
He had been pulling up to her place everytime she wanted something. And he was more than happy to do it.
She was wearing a pink low cut top with a matching mini skirt. Her makeup was done up nice and her hair was curled to perfection.
She didn’t have much plans for the day. However, knowing that she was ordering from Jungkook, she knew she had to look somewhat presentable.
It’s not like she had to try too hard, she was gorgeous naturally. She had a body people would kill for and a face many would pay to even resemble.
“Hey mama.” The man bit his lip, checking her out at the doorstep.
“I don’t see anything.” Y/n looked at both of his hands and his front pockets. “Jungkook I swear if—“
“You’re already bugging.” Jungkook rolled his eyes. “I have it. A ‘hey’ would’ve been nice.” He stepped into her home.
“And it would’ve been nice to ask to come in.” She shut the door behind him.
“You’re so so pretty but your mouth—“ He exhaled. “You’re annoying.”
“Yet I’m your favoriteee customer.” She teased.
“Hell no. You’re not my favorite.” He shook his head, walking over to her counter, tossing everything he brought on there.
“Oh really?” She cocked her eyebrow. “You’re such a liar.”
“Psh- Why would I lie?” He looked over at her. “You’re honestly my least favorite.”
She could laugh. “Least favorite?”
“You heard me mama.” He shook his head. “You’re so annoying, rude, and you don’t even pay me.”
“I don’t pay you because you’re always tryna fuck.” She rolled her eyes at his insults.
“Trying to?” He laughed. “You act like I’m not successful every time.”
Wasn’t a lie. He was even laying it down when she didn’t order from him.
“You’re so annoying.” She groaned.
“I’m annoying? You texted me to drop off your shit and gave me attitude the second I came in!” He argued.
Also true.
That was their dynamic. Always having petty arguments as their way of flirting with each other. It was annoying but also very entertaining for the both of them.
“Oh my gosh. You’re already starting something.” She shook her head. “Go fucking change so we can watch a movie.”
“No way.” Jungkook fake gasped, touching his heart. “You’re letting me spend the night again mama? I’m so honored!”
“I hate you.”
༊—
“No way.” Jungkook’s jaw dropped at the sight of the scene on TV.
Jungkook and Y/n had been sharing a blunt on her couch and were heavily tuned into That 70s Show.
They had been watching the show together since the beginning of him coming over.
The two were cuddled up, Y/n stroking his hair as they watched the show.
It was the scene in which Jackie and Hyde had been secretly hooking up over the summer, and no one was as shocked as Jungkook.
Y/n had watched the series more than once, and seeing Jungkook’s reaction had her weak with laughter.
“That was so unexpected.” He announced. “But honestly, I’ve been thinking they looked good together.”
“Told you.” She shook her head.
“You didn’t tell me shit!” He turned over to her.
“Whatever.” She took another hit of the shared blunt.
“Pass it to me.”
“No.”
“Damnit woman.” He furrowed his eyebrows. “You’re so fucking irritating but you’re so hot.”
“Awe. You’re such a sweetheart.” She answered sarcastically.
“Keep fucking playing with me.” He stared her down. “Been giving me attitude all night. I’ll straighten that out so fast.”
“The fuck you will.” She replied with an attitude once again.
“Oh wow.” Jungkook turned his attention to the TV, chuckling to himself.
“Okay.” He rubbed behind his neck. “Put the blunt down.”
“But—“
“I said put it down. You got your high. Just being greedy.”
She obeyed him after noticing his demanding tone of voice. He grabbed her remote, turning up the TV.
“Kiss me baby” He leaned in, easily earning a kiss from her.
“Pretty lips.” He pulled away before grabbing the back of her neck with his tattooed hand, crashing her lips back onto his.
She kissed him back willfully, smacking her lips repeatedly against his.
“So pretty.” He mumbled against them. “But that mouth is disgusting. Gotta fix that.”
He spit in her mouth, going back in and kissing her more aggressively.
Moving the couch pillow behind her head, he laid her down on the furniture.
He slid up her skirt, moving her panties to the side with his teeth.
“Not even apologizing,” He made a ‘tsk’ sound with his mouth. “I got some for you.”
He used his left hand to grab onto her breast, and used his right hand to hold her hips down.
His face was immediately hovering her cunt. His mouth was already watering at the sight, spitting and drooling on it.
Although it made her feel good, eating pussy was one of Jungkook’s main sources of pleasure.
Especially hers.
He’s never craved something so badly.
They weren’t dating. They never discussed anything of the sort. They were young and didn’t want to waste time with the labels.
But he would be damned if he had to share this woman.
The two did have their rocky and dysfunctional relationship but he was very happy to be around her.
Always smirking to himself whenever she texted. Hoping she’d ask him to stay longer. Following her on his damn plug account.
He had some other customers that were attractive women, but from the beginning she’s been his favorite. No one else got all the perks like she did.
She was a whiny moaning mess. Jungkook hadn’t even tasted her yet.
“Jungkook, please.” She begged. “Can’t wait like this.”
"I know, baby, I know. It's been too long." He leans in, his breath ghosting over her skin for just a moment before his lips press against her clit.
Her legs immediately squirmed at the feel of his mouth. She could hardly move due to him holding her down.
Grinning, he moves his tongue around her clit, sucking and nibbling at it.
He moves one of his arms to keep her leg in place, while the other one moves upwards, slipping two fingers inside her.
"All that attitude for what?" He asks through muffled groans.
He smirks against her skin, moving his fingers in and out slowly. He starts flicking his tongue over her clit faster, adding a third finger as he matches the rhythm with his tongue.
“You’re bitching at me the moment I get through the damn door. Now look at you.” He chuckled against her clit. “Apologize.”
“I— mm— Fu— I’m”
“Can’t speak?” Jungkook suddenly stopped, pulling out his fingers and moving from her heat since he knew she was close.
“Jungkook!” She groaned. “You can’t do me like this right now.”
“I can’t?” He laughed. “Oh I can. You can give me attitude all damn day but you want me to reward you by letting you cum already?” He scoffed.
“Ugh!” She groaned in frustration.
“Turn around.” Jungkook was already tearing a condom open with his mouth. “Ass up face down.”
She got into position like ordered. Jungkook moved the hair from her face so he could have a better view of her.
“Oh fuck yes.” Jungkook had the sight of her ass all to himself. “Don’t even know how you made it fit in that tight little skirt.”
He was checking her out. He did this everytime. Her body was perfection and way better than any of the models he had seen on Instagram.
“Can you do me a favor mama?” He leaned forward, “I wanna to do something with you.”
“What is it?” She asked, desperate to get fucked already.
“Lemme record.” He tapped her ass, almost fainting at the recoil. “Please?”
“Yeah.” She reached over, grabbing her phone and handing it to him.
“My dirty girl.” He chuckled. “Knew you’d be down.” He took a hit of the dispo the two had on the couch.
He doesn't hesitate as he opens the camera app on her phone and starts recording. He positions himself behind her, lining his cock up with her entrance.
“Oh fuck.” He cussed as he slid in, the camera flash capturing their synchronized gasps as he slid inside her.
“Fuck, you have to watch this video later.” His mouth hung open at the sight.
“Mm— Jungkook” She hummed, “Fuck baby”
“Come on mama.” He slapped her ass. “Make this video good yeah? Bounce on this dick for me.”
She fucked herself on his cock, making her eyes rolled back with each bounce.
He grips her hips as he starts thrusting in and out of her, picking up the pace as he fucks her hard.
“Always so fucking tight” He groaned. “But you’re so fucking wet. How does that work?”
“Mm” She whined. “Jungkook you’re too fucking big.”
“You take it don’t you?” He slapped her ass. “So fucking pretty. Especially when you’re high.”
Her ass clapped against him, the sounds of her moans and her ass driving him off the edge.
They were panting, equally putting in the work to get each other off.
“Been dying to fuck you since you texted me this morning mama.” He spoke to her. “Huge tits, fat ass, and pretty face is just what I needed.”
She could cum with his words alone. She loved how he smoke to her and how vocal he was.
“Fuck” He groaned, pulling out with a loud ‘pop’ sound.
“Jungkook!” Y/n whined in irritation.
He stopped filming, shutting off the phone and tossing it to the side.
“Sorry mama. Gotta fuck you missionary.” He apologized, smacking her ass before flipping her over on her back. “Wanna cum while I look at your face.”
“Can I take it off mama?” Jungkook pouted cutely, pecking her cheek. “Pleaseee”
“No. I still don’t trust you.” Y/n shook her head. “Over here tryna bend the rules.”
She was very strict on Jungkook wearing a condom. She heard all sorts of rumors about the women he had been with and she was not taking any chances.
“I don’t know why. You know rumors aren’t always true.” He shook his head.
“Do you want pussy or not?” She threatened.
“Fine fine” He gave in.
He wanted her to know she was the only girl he was with but, it was too soon to deal with the sappy shit when all they were doing was fucking.
He slipped back in her, stretching her out once again.
He went back to his pace, snapping his hips inside of her while she arched her back at the impact.
Jungkook couldn’t stop staring at her breasts bouncing up and down as he fucked her.
His shaft throbs as he watches her come undone on his cock, tits bouncing wildly. He's almost there just from the sight.
“Mm fuck Jungkook.” She moaned out his name repeatedly.
Their energy was lower because of the weed but their sexual urges were at an all time high.
Jungkook reached over, circling over her clit with his thumb. “Feels good huh mama? You take it so good.”
He was growing closer to his edge.
The double stimulation with the weed still highly active in her system made her go insane.
“Look so fucking pretty like that baby.” He cooed. “My prettiest and favorite customer for sure.”
His thrusts become more frantic, his balls slapping against her ass with each one.
“Jungkook I’m— I need to cum” She whined desperately, barely able to let out a single sentence.
He rubbed her clit more intensely before she came all over his cock, panting at the aftershocks of her orgasm.
Jungkook came shortly after, pulling out pumping himself until he came all over her stomach.
The two panted together, staying still for a moment to catch their breaths.
“F-Fuck. I’ll clean us up.” He said, still trying to get to his breath.
“Let’s just run a shower.” She replied. “P-Please”
He agreed. He cleaned up what he could before the two stood up of her couch.
“So…” She trailed off. “You admitted I was your favorite customer.”
“Goddamnit Y/n.”
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inkchwe · 23 days
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dancing with our hands tied ↦ sjy
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⋆ pairing: sim (jake) jaeyun x fem!reader ⋆ word count: 7.7k ⋆ genre: semi-angst, fluff, smut (18+/mdni!) ⋆ tags: brothersbsf!jake, minor age difference, college au, friends with benefits, secret relationship, light choking, semi-public sex, oral (f + m receiving), fingering penetration, unprotected sex (please practice safe sex folks). ⋆ synopsis: What began as a simple friends-with-benefits situation with your brother's best friend has turned into something deeper, and you now find that your emotions are more complicated than you initially thought. ➸ bless @temptaetions for giving me so much amazing dialogue to work with and @sweetvenomnet for getting me through finishing this monster!
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You did not envision Sunday morning sitting across from your brother, concealing the bottom half of your body with your comforter and Jake next to you in bed. Jay’s face is a jumble of shock and anger, fists balled at his sides. You’re unsure if he’s ready to kick his best friend’s ass or throw him out by his neck, or both.
“How the fuck did this fucking happen,” Jay yells.
Well, you think, the beginning is a lot easier to explain than where we’re at now…
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The first night you slept with Jake six months ago was like any other. Jay, your older brother by two years, was home with his best friend for the weekend. They had bonded over their freshman year as dorm buddies and Jay immediately inserted Jake into the family. “He’s like the brother I never had,” Jay would say when people would comment on them being attached at the hip.
It was not unusual for the two of them to stay over at your parents’ house when they were back in town. The university was more than three hours away. If they tried to drive home the same day, it would only end in a headache thanks to the rush-hour traffic. 
It was nice to see Jay succeeding though, his footsteps being ones you’d hope to follow in one day. He had it all figured out, while you were anything but decided. Still unsure about what to do now that you had graduated, you chose to stay home and attend community college in the meantime.
But Jay occasionally being back in your presence meant he had to fulfill his annoying brotherly roles, like boring you with tales of campus and admonishing you for risqué outfit choices.
Like that night.
He stopped you short at the door with judgmental eyes scanning up and down your dress. “Absolutely not.”
You scoffed and pushed him out of your way. The dress hugged your curves just right and the color fit your aestethic. You knew when you bought it that the length wasn’t ideal for everyday wear, but it was perfect for a night out. Jay wouldn’t tell you otherwise. “You don’t have to act like Dad, dude.”
“Listen,” he said, rolling his eyes. “We all know you’re a woman. You don’t need to prove it with a little black dress.”
“Unless you’re blind, this dress is blue,” you mocked him.
“You know what I mean, smart-ass! You’re not leaving wearing that!”
“What’s going on,” Jake called from the kitchen.
“My sister’s about to walk out of the house in a napkin,” Jay responded, sarcasm dripping from his mouth.
“You’re such a prick,” you said, crossing your arms.
Jake sauntered into the sitting room, a bag of chips in his hand. He was taken back by the outfit, his eyes slowly trailing down your body. His Adam’s apple bobbed as Jay continued on his tirade about modesty to nobody but the air.
“You look pretty,” Jake said finally. He popped a chip in his mouth.
Your cheeks turned red instantly. Jay’s best friend wasn’t unattractive to look at, not in the slightest, so hearing him say such a thing even in quick passing made your body tense.
Before you could thank him for the compliment, Jay coughed like he swallowed his own spit.
“Did you just say she looks pretty?” Jay asked in his best friend’s direction.
Jake chomped down on another chip. “What,” he said, his mouth full.
“If I heard that right, you just said my sister looks pretty in her dress.”
“Yes?” Jake’s expression morphed into confusion as your brother’s face went pale.
“Do you have a death wish?” Jay asked.
“Bro, c’mon—”
“No, seriously. Do you?”
You backed up towards the door, making sure not to clack your heels too hard on the tile to be noticed.
Jay, however, sensed your escape. “I meant it! You’re not leaving without putting something else on.”
“Seongie, stop being an asshole. I’m gonna be late,” you whined.
“Dude, all I said was that she looked pretty,” Jake butted in.
Jay turned his focus back to him. “You said the girl you fucked at that club on Fifth was pretty.”
“Bro, I’m not gonna fuck—” Jake ran his free hand through his hair, smiling in incredulity at the ridiculous conversation. “Just trust me.”
“Finish that sentence.”
Jake scoffed, mouth agape. “What the hell, man?”
“Finish. The. Sentence. Jaeyun.”
“Okay, if you’re done being weirdly overprotective and Jaeyun’s done taking back his compliment, I have a happy hour to go to.”
Jay was so preoccupied with Jake at that point that he barely registered your words and your exit from the house. Before he could protest again, Jake interrupted him.
“I’m not going to fuck your sister, Jong,” he says.
“Thanks, that’s reassuring,” Jay responded.
As you closed the door, you heard Jake say, “But if she fucks me, that’s a different story.”
Despite walking down the cobblestone pathway, you heard Jake’s cries from your older brother whacking him. Jay screamed, “You sick fuck!”
Your cheeks felt hot when you finally got inside of your friend’s car. You greeted them with a smile when you sat in the back seat, but your mind kept playing back Jake’s words. He must have had enough pickings on campus and in his hometown to keep him satisfied. He didn’t need to put his effort or interest in you. There’s no way that he would, right?
Five hours later, the clock just shy of 1 AM, you stepped quietly inside to not wake your parents. Tiptoeing up the stairs to your room, you didn’t see Jay’s bedroom light on, certain he was fast asleep. That gave you some relief knowing he didn’t stick around to admonish you for not listening to his forceful advice.
What you weren’t expecting was Jake to be sprawled out on your bed, his body akin to a limp starfish. He had been scrolling endlessly through his Instagram feed until you creaked open the door to your room.
A silent scream jolted your pulse. “Jaeyun, what the fuck are you doing here?” you asked.
“Jongseong told me to wait for you. He wanted to make sure you got home safe,” Jake said absentmindedly, like being in your bed is a natural occurrence by now.
You suppressed the urge to roll your eyes. “Helicopter Himbo couldn’t do that himself?”
“He linked up with some girl he knows…Dahyun I think was her name?”
You sighed. Of course Jay had to hook up with his high school ex when he had no other options to exhaust. You thought Jay had higher standards than that at this point in his life, but he was still Jay.
You nodded. The soles of your feet throbbed from wearing your heels longer than you intended to. You tried to hide the pain on your face, but Jake was quick to walk over to you and feign concern.
“You okay?” He asked.
“Yeah. I’m just slightly buzzed and I’d like to see the inside of my eyelids and forget how bad my feet hurt right now.” You released a breathless laugh. “You can text my doofus of a brother and tell him I’m in one piece.” 
You practically motioned your head towards the door, but Jake only smirked in response.
“Well, first things first, let’s take these off.” Before you knew it, Jake leaned down and began unbuckling the clasps of your stilettos for you. The sight made the alcoholic buzz running through your veins mutate into something sensual. You felt the ache between your legs as Jake’s fingers caressed the skin of your ankle as he was taking off your shoes for you, and immediately you remembered who he was.
This was wrong, and in no way going to happen. Not with someone who your brother confided in and loved so dearly. No matter how it felt every time you looked at him, or if he did intimate things like this that made you question everything.
“I meant what I said earlier you know,” Jake whispered. “And I wasn’t trying to take it back when Jongseong was grilling me about it.”
“I get it. He can be intense sometimes,” you mumbled.
“But you did look pretty. Fuck, you still do.” Jake chuckled to himself and positioned your feet out of the shoes and onto the carpet floor. The fabric felt cool against your toes, and instinctively you released a pleasurable sigh.
“So much better,” you moaned, smiling. “Thank you.”
Jake stood up, his grin infectious. “My pleasure.”
Neither of you moved, and admittedly you were glad Jake hadn’t made his exit yet. In the blur between your gratitude and onslaught of confusing feelings, the tether between your head and your body loosened. 
Then you were kissing him. You were kissing your brother’s best friend and enjoying it very much, an amalgamation of all the passing glances you threw at him when Jay wasn’t looking and the semi-flirty conversations coming to a head in your lips and tongue.
Jake was kissing you back with the same fervor, his hands roaming to the curve of your ass and groaning in your mouth at the sensation of your bodies touching.
“Fuck,” Jake swore and pulled you in tighter, clutching at the hem of your dress.
In a tangle of fingers and lips, you almost didn’t register the feeling of your mattress against your back and the cool air on your skin when Jake pulled the dress down your body. But you did relish in the feeling of his tongue between your legs and how deliciously he slipped inside of you afterwards. And by that point, there was no time to regret and worry about what would happen next. All that mattered was the present and savoring it.
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Three weeks after that first encounter, it was easy to forget it ever happened. The next morning, Jay and Jake had gone back to campus without a word. That was normal for them, seeing as they woke early and didn’t want to disturb anyone in the house.
For you, it was a bit disheartening, but it proved exactly what you knew. It was a mistake and a potential repeat was nonexistent. “Jeong’ll never find out and this can stay buried,” you told yourself.
Jay was too busy with his studies to respond with anything but one-word answers to your texts after that, so you gave up initiating anything. Jake, however, began texting you often to either greet you in the morning or say he hoped you were having a good day. It was sweet, but you didn’t read too deep into it. You replied in kind and left it at that.
Then, the boys came back one Friday afternoon in Jake’s Tahoe, and your nerves were live wires at their impromptu arrival. You had not seen Jake since that night in your bedroom. You felt the heaviness of guilt when you welcomed Jay home with a hug. A secret shouldn’t have had the power to eat you alive,  but it did all the same.
And it didn’t help seeing Jake either. His smile took you back to the hours you had spent together in your bed. It was a kaleidoscope of memories. His hands on your hips, his whispers in your ear, his mouth in between your legs— 
“Yo!” Jay waved his hand in front of your face. “I asked if you could help us with the last duffel bag.”
“Yeah, of course,” you said, walking over to the trunk. Jake’s shoulder brushed yours as you moved past him, and you couldn’t help the way your breath hitched. If you weren’t deluding yourself, you could’ve sworn you heard his throat catch in the same way.
You decided to leave the house that night, meeting up with a classmate to take your mind off of what was waiting at home. The Uber driver was polite, not bothering you as you were lost in your thoughts. Thankfully, the tequila sunrise you gulped down numbed your thought processes long enough that you could unwind and converse without rambling on about the situation you were in.
Then, you heard the ping of your phone and saw Jake’s message light up the screen.
Received at 11:23 PM: I’m picking you up. JS doesn’t want you taking an Uber when you’re not sober.
You sighed and typed back a reply with the hand not holding your drink. The words might have been mistyped, but you knew the message would get across to him.
Sent at 11:27 PM: im find u dont ned to come th last guy w nice.
Received at 11:29 PM: Sure. I’ll be there in 15.
You groaned. Jake could be as stubborn as your brother; it was no surprise the two of them became such good friends.
When Jake’s arrival came closer, you said goodbye and walked out of the bar, kicking your feet on the sidewalk gravel while you waited.
His truck’s lights came into full view a minute later. You got inside without a word, leaning your forehead against the passenger window. Just because he was being stubborn didn’t mean you had to be okay with it.
“Have fun?” Jake kept his focus on the road, but he sounded sincere when he asked about your night. While your heart swelled at the tone of his voice, it made the thoughts you tried so hard to suppress creep back in with full force. You were at a loss as to what to say. Honesty was off the table, but you weren’t capable of pulling your heart from your sleeve.
“I was. Not anymore.” You pouted.
You didn’t let him respond to your comment, instead looking around at his car’s interior and changing the subject. “I didn’t expect you to own a Tahoe.”
“What do you mean?” He asked with a chuckle.
“It’s so much space for one person.”
“Well, it was my dad’s truck. He gave it to me before I left for school. Now, I use it to go hiking and stuff with my dog, Layla.”
You smiled and leaned into the seat, looking at him. “That’s hard to believe.”
“That I have a dog or that I actually do physical activity? You’ve seen my body.”
You giggled and turned away. “I guess both. I’ve always wanted a dog, but Jungseong’s allergic. My parents thought plushies were a good compromise. And it all makes sense now. You can’t be that handsome naturally.”
Jake laughed harder. Without warning, he put his hand on your thigh, the feeling foreign yet incredibly welcome. You hummed in pleasure at the sensation. While you would’ve loved to enjoy the moment, your logic kicked in at the scene playing out in front of you.
“Jaeyun, you can’t just do that.”
“Why not? I wanted to,” he confessed, squeezing the curve of your knee. He moved his hand slowly across your skin.
You bit your lip and shook your head. “Just because you want to doesn’t mean you should.”
“Are we still talking about my hand or something else?” You gave him a stern but cutting look, the Are you kidding me evident in your eyes. It made Jake curse into the open air. “Fuck this.”
Jake pulled off into a vacant parking lot of a convenience store, one lamppost barely lighting the surrounding area. He put the car in park with an aggressive fist on the stick shift.
“Okay,” he started. “You want to talk about that night? Let’s talk about it.”
He inhaled a breath. You were terrified of what was unsaid and what he planned on saying, but you knew it was better to put it to rest sooner rather than later.
“I’m not sorry for what happened that night. I liked it and I liked you.” He looked directly into your eyes, his pupils dilating with extreme vulnerability. “I like you. And I’d like to repeat that night as many times as you want, but you’re my best friend’s sister and I don’t know how to accept those two things being true at once.”
You were taken back, his words the ones you wish you could have said to him before he left that morning. You tried to stamp down the truth many times since then, but Jake feeling the exact same way made you realize it wasn’t wrong to want what you wanted.
And Jay didn’t have to know everything.
“I do too,” you responded. “I like you too, and that night is all I’ve been thinking about.” You felt the knot in your stomach loosen, smiling in surprise from his confession. “And I would like to have more of those nights, for sure. In more than just my bed.”
Jake smirked and leaned in closer to you, lips ghosting over yours. “So if I said I wanted to fuck you in my car, you’d let me?”
You didn’t respond to that question with words, both of you knowing the question itself was rhetorical. You pressed your mouth to his hard.
The kiss was a clash of teeth and tongue, the act a desperate plea to pull each other closer after weeks of not being together. Now that you had Jake where you wanted him, you weren’t letting him go. 
Jake palmed one of your breasts over your shirt, and you partially broke away from his mouth to moan. He swallowed it, tugging on your bottom lip with his teeth.
“You like that?” Jake asked, his voice husky.
“Fuck yes,” you said, knowing it was the truth. Nothing felt better than his touch on your skin.
He grabbed the side of your throat with his free palm. The other was hovering over the waistband of your shorts, his thumbs deftly unbuttoning them and dragging the zipper down.
“Tell me now if you don’t want this,” he panted. “And I swear I’ll stop.”
You shook your head vigorously. “If you stop right now, Jaeyun, I might just have to kill you.”
Jake gave you a crooked smile and kissed you again, harder than the first time but just as pleasurable.
His fingers dipped into your underwear, and you both groaned when he found your clit. He was surprised that the little amount of foreplay already made you this wet. You were just glad to have his fingers where you needed them the most.
You moved your hips in rhythm with his digits, the figure-eight patterns he was drawing into your skin creating stars behind your eyes. You released numerous whimpers and gasps into Jake’s mouth as he kept rubbing up and down your pussy, your clit receiving the most attention.
But it wasn’t enough.
“Jaeyun, I need you inside of me, please,” you begged. You gripped onto his shirt tightly to emphasize how bad the desire was to feel him stretch you open.
He nipped your lips again. “Climb in the back seat, baby.”
Jake followed in suit as soon as you moved from the passenger seat to the back. Once he sat down, you had his pants around his ankles and the head of his dick lined up with your entrance, your panties moved to the side to make room for him.
The fullness of his cock filling you to the hilt made your eyelids flutter. Jake knocked the back of his head into one of the headrests, the groan that left his mouth so beautiful you wished you could’ve replayed the sound on loop.
“God, you’re so tight.” He pushed his hips up further into you, the tip kissing your cervix. “It’s fucking incredible.”
You moaned in agreement. Beginning to grind his hips into yours, you licked and sucked the spot behind Jaeyun’s ear. You remembered how much he loved it the first night you had sex, and he loved it even more now that you were partially in control riding him.
He bucked up into you here and there, but for the most part, you were setting the pace. The sounds of your skin slapping against each other as well as both of your moan-laced expletives filled the back seat.
“That’s it, sweetheart. Bounce on this cock. Show me how much you want me.��� He trapped your hips with his hands, holding on tight as you continued to grind against him.
“I want to come so bad, Jae,” you gasped. “Please make me come.”
Jake took his index and middle finger and found your clit again. He circled the nub with tenderness as you continued to ride him without mercy. He knew he could come at anytime with how well you were touching him and taking all of him inside of you, but he had no problem waiting until you found your pleasure first.
You felt the orgasm creeping up on you, starting in the pit of your stomach and ready to come to the surface. You begin to grow sloppy with your rhythm, and Jake took extra effort with his fingers to push you over the edge.
“Let go for me, love. Come all over me.”
You cried out, clutching onto Jake’s hair hard as you rode out your orgasm to its full capacity. Jake let go in that same moment, painting your insides white and cursing the entire time at how good it felt.
When you sat down next to him in the back seat, both of you sated and breathless, you knew the path forward was uncertain. And sure, a million questions still lingered in your mind, but you stored them away without a second thought, refusing to let them ruin your current happiness.
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This led to where you were with Jake for the past six months, having sex every time he was in town and even sneaking off to visit him when you had the chance. He would pick you up in his truck and hold your hand across the console the entire drive to and from his student apartment. The two of you were skilled at keeping your trysts out of sight from Jay both in your hometown and on campus, the local spots he wanted to take you to and your favorite hometown stores not ones Jay frequented often.
At the same time, Jay had gotten back into a relationship with Dahyun, but you were optimistic for the both of them this time around. He seemed to be really happy, as were you, although he didn’t know the reason why. Dahyun would hang out with the guys and you when she got off work, and the four of you would drink and watch movies together like any other couples would.
The only part that didn’t fit such a picture perfect image was the fact you and Jake were not a couple at all. You slept together and did most things boyfriends and girlfriends did, but there were no labels. It was as if saying it out loud would make it real, and then you’d have to confront the biggest hurdle of all: telling your brother. And you were determined to put that off for as long as possible.
One morning, as you made breakfast in the kitchen for all three of you, Jake slid in behind you without you noticing. You gasped, feeling his chest against your back. “Jae, you can’t do that!”
“Couldn’t help it. Smelled pretty good in here,” Jake responded, kissing the spot that joined your neck and shoulder together, his hair tickling your ear in the process.
“I know, I can’t wait to eat it.”
“I was gonna say the same thing.” Jake smirked.
“Jae,” you reprimanded him, grinning. “Jongseong could come down at any second.”
“But he’s not. Last time I checked, he was still asleep.” The curve of his lips touched your collarbone, making you shiver.
“And when was that?”
In that moment, you both heard Jay yelling “I did it!” in tandem with his quick steps down the staircase. You both split apart in record time. Jake pretended he was searching for a drink in the fridge while you flipped the fried egg in the pan.
“I finally did it,” Jay exclaimed, a wide smile on his face directed at Jake.
“Did what?” Jake asked.
“I got you a date with Dahyun’s cousin Jihyo tonight. Dahyun’s been dying to go out to this new restaurant downtown, and I know you’ve been lacking in the pussy department lately.” You felt the saliva in the back of your mouth hit the wrong pipe, and you coughed.
“You okay, sis?” Jay asked, grabbing you by the shoulder.
“Yeah. Just choked for a second, sorry.” There was nothing wrong with Jake going out; he had no obligations to you. Yet, at the same time, the thought of him finding someone new felt like acid on your tongue.
Jay turned back to Jake, excitement filling his features again. “Come on man, you haven’t picked anyone up in what? Five months? Either your game got terrible or you’ve been holding out on me about some new chick.”
You plopped the fried egg on the plate next to you and motioned for Jake to pick it up. “Over medium, how you like it.”
“How do you know his egg order, freak?” Jay questioned you with a chuckle.
“I asked him this morning, dingbat. While you were snoring in your room and told me to leave so you could get your beauty rest.” Jay gave you the middle finger but you didn’t pay attention to him. You looked back at Jake with shy eyes. “You want toast?”
“No thank you,” Jake said with a smile that didn’t meet his eyes. You could tell when Jake was uncomfortable. His entire body grew stiff at the thought of being roped into a double date with a stranger.
But, avoiding suspicion, Jake said, “Sure man. Can’t promise I’ll be into her, though.”
Jay smiled and patted his friend on the shoulder. “I’ll take it.”
When Jay ran back upstairs to call Dahyun with the news, Jake dropped his plate back on the counter. He suddenly pinned you against it with his hands on your waist, forcing you to look at him. “I don’t have to go on this date if you don’t want me to.”
You shook your head, the faintest frown on your face, hoping it looked more like an expression of indifference. “If you don’t, Seongie’s going to ask more questions. Besides, we’re not together. You don’t have to ask for my permission.”
“That’s not what I’m doing.” He furrowed his eyebrows. If there was one emotion you didn’t show him often, it was ice. But if the alternative was being emotionally exposed in that moment, you would choose the former.
“You know what I mean.” You broke free from his grasp, swallowing the bitter taste in your mouth. You turned off the stove and threw the sizzling pan into the sink. “Hope you have fun.”
Jake waited for you to elaborate, but after a minute of silence, he admitted his defeat and walked out of the kitchen. It cracked a piece of your heart to be so cold, but what other choices were on the table?
Once he was gone, you grabbed your phone from your pocket. Typing out the number in your mind and pressing the call button, you hoped the man you were looking for answered.
“Sunghoon?” You spoke, relieved he picked up. “I need a huge favor.”
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“Do I have to?” Sunghoon groaned, straightening the collar of his polo shirt. “This is so ridiculous.”
“Hold my fucking hand, Hoon, or I swear to god I will tell Professor Choi you used my essay on Machiavelli for your paper.”
He released a low, agitated sound and put his hand in yours, squeezing your palm in retaliation. You smiled and walked into the restaurant. 
You didn’t go all out with your outfit. A simple dress and denim jacket fit with the atmosphere of the Brazilian barbecue joint Dahyun wanted to check out. Sunghoon also followed your instructions to the letter, looking presentable without trying too hard.
The hostess made you both wait fifteen minutes or so for a table. Even at 9 PM on a Saturday, past normal dinner time for most folks, the business was still bustling due to the word of mouth from their grand opening a week ago. It didn’t take long though for you to find Jay and Jake sitting at a table in a corner booth. It was like Jake’s presence in any tiny or expansive space was a magnet, pulling you in without giving you space to put up a fight.
“So that’s the guy,” Sunghoon stated, staring at Jake next to your brother. “He’s cute. I see why you’re in love with him.”
“Shut up!” You laughed and smacked him in the chest. He pretended to act hurt, smiling the entire time.
Your Humanities classmate might have been too sarcastic and vain for his own good, but you knew he was a good friend and would always come if you called. And while it was purely platonic, he didn’t mind playing the part of the arm candy for another free essay.
In the midst of your shared laughter, neither of you saw both Jay and Jake walking over to you. Jay’s cough pulled you out of your trance, and you stood stock still at the sight of Jake’s clenched jaw and crossed arms, immediately dropping Sunghoon’s hand in the process.
Jay said your name in annoyance. “What the hell are you doing here?”
“Hoon and I have class together, but we decided to have dinner after studying,” you say with a smile. “Funny we’d be at the same place as you guys!”
“You have my location, dipshit,” Jay said with a stone face.
“Just because I have it doesn’t mean I look at it,” you said in your defense.
Hoon held his hand out to both men, but you knew it was bait specifically meant for Jake. “Nice to meet you.”
Jake clenched his jaw even tighter. You thought he would break the bottom half of his face if he kept it up. To your surprise, he grabbed Sunghoon’s hand like a pure gentleman. Jay did the same.
You immediately felt so small. It didn’t have to be this way, trying to pull a front for this guy that wasn’t even yours. If it took this much effort to be exclusive, a title you didn’t fight for to begin with, maybe it wasn’t meant to be.
When Sunghoon let go of Jay’s hand, you grabbed him by the bicep. “We can just go somewhere else. We’ll probably wait another hour before getting a table if we stay, anyway.”
Jay agreed. “I had to book this in advance, so she’s probably right.”
Jake looked directly in your eyes when he said, “Hope you have fun.” Mirroring your words from earlier, Jake’s were laced with spiteful sarcasm.
Sunghoon put a hand on the small of your back and guided the two of you out of the restaurant. It took everything in you to not turn back and reveal it all in that stupid restaurant, but you circled back to your initial thoughts. What would it do attempting to claim him now? It was already pointless.
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You didn’t make it home until midnight, spending the night scarfing down Chinese with Sunghoon in his apartment and watching old seasons of New Girl together. It was a bitch thinking about what it would be like when you got home. Jay would quiz you on Sunghoon and his motives or Jake would get defensive on what you were doing with the guy to begin with. Or both.
The last piece of advice Sunghoon left you with as he drove off was to “be honest” with Jake, if that was any bit as simple as it sounded coming out of his mouth.
You stepped inside your house without a care for your noise level, knowing your parents were off on an overseas conference for four days. And what were the chances the guys had gotten home by now?
 But, like the first night you had spent together, Jake was waiting up for you in your room, sitting stock straight with his hands in his lap.
You didn’t freak out or feel shocked by his presence. You were glad to see him actually, but greeting him with anything but a hello would have been inappropriate given the last few hours.
“Hi,” you began.
“Why have you been gone so long?” His voice was clipped, matter-of-fact but laced with authority. The mixture of sadness and anger in his face surprised you. Jake was always fun, silly, casual…never like this.
“I lost track of time.” It was the easiest answer to give him, even if it wasn’t enough to assuage his concerns. “We just ate takeout and watched sitcoms.”
He nodded and stood up. Walking closer to you, the emotions on his face registered to you so clearly now. The anger was simply misplaced pain, unsure where to go but in front of you for an answer. “What do you want from me?”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m asking you what this is, what are we doing here?” He ran a hand through his hair. “Seeing you tonight with that dickhead was all I thought about while eating that churrasco and listening to Jay’s dumb jokes. And if that’s against some unspoken rule, I need to know.”
You gulped down a heavy bubble of air. It was now or never. Choose to either lose the guy you had spent so much time with by keeping your feelings to yourself or risk him breaking your heart by being vulnerable.
“I don’t want you going on dates with anyone else.” You beginning with that wasn’t perfect, but you were out of ideas.
He nodded. “Okay.”
“Sunghoon’s a friend, but you’re my best friend. And you make me feel like nobody else ever has.” Your lip quivered. “I feel like an idiot for not saying it before, but I’ve liked you since the second Jay introduced all of us to you. And maybe all you want out of this is exclusive sex and I’m even more of an idiot for saying all of this but—”
Jake caught your mouth in a perfect kiss, effectively shutting you up. A tear passed between your lips, but he was all you tasted. He pressed his forehead to yours, eyes bright and expression full of mirth. “You’re a beautiful idiot, but still an idiot for not realizing I feel the same..”
You gasped. Grabbing his shirt, you pulled him back in hungrily.
The subsequent kisses and touches were ripe with the things you didn’t know how to say in words but could easily express with your body. Every kiss on his jaw told him how enraptured he made you feel. Each pass of your hands exploring his naked skin expressed why you saw nobody but him in the most crowded room. And when you took him into your mouth, you hoped Jake knew why it was so easy to fall for him and want nobody else.
“Just like that,” he said, tenderly grabbing your hair as you stroked what you couldn’t fit past your lips.
It didn’t last long. Jake pulled you in his arms and said, “I want to be inside you.” 
Jake held you as you sunk down onto him. Your legs were wrapped around his waist as he sat on the edge of the bed, rocking his hips up into you. No matter how many times you had sex, it still felt incredible feeling all of him fitting around the spaces inside of you. You wished he could occupy them forever.
“Fuck,” you exclaimed, clutching the hair at the nape of his neck. Your bodies were slick, foreheads touching but slippery from perspiration.
But it didn’t matter how loud you were being or how sweaty your skin became. All you could focus on was the words that came out of Jake’s mouth. “God, I love you so much.”
It didn’t make you slow down, instead riding him faster and kissing him fervently in response. You mewled into his mouth, feeling yourself coming undone quickly.
“I’m gonna come,” you announced.
“Right there with you, sweetheart. Come with me,” he said, and so you did. You felt the warmth of him inside of you in tandem with the downfall of your orgasm, siphoning every drop until you were spent.
When you were lying next to each other, however, you remembered those three little words that slipped from his mouth.
“You said you loved me,” you stated in post-coitus bliss, covering half of your face with your comforter.
“So what if I did?” He was glowing, and it only made you smile harder. “So what if I do?”
You smirked and pecked his lips sweetly, nipping his bottom lip. “I love you too, you goof.”
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You woke up next to each other that morning, both in a euphoric daze despite your fatigue. You also took into account how you now held the title of Jake’s girlfriend, a majority of the reason why you were a thousand leagues above cloud nine. Jake showed his joy in the form of his tongue pressed to your clit. 
But it didn’t last for long.
You weren’t fast enough to cover yourself when Jay barged in asking whether or not you had seen Jake at all. Little did he know he would find his best friend in the last place he ever expected.
Which led to now, your brother interrogating the two of you like you committed the worst crime humanly possible. In a way, you could see why he would think such a thing.
“So you kiss my sister—” Jay starts.
You cut him off, grabbing Jake’s hand. “I kissed him first.”
“Then you decide to hook up in my car.”
“It was actually my car.” Jake counters, squeezing your fingers with his own.
“And now I find you guys here in your room”—Jay looks directly at you—“just doing whatever the fuck you were doing before I came in.” His face is red from the shock. “How long has this been going on?”
“Six months,” Jake says.
Jay takes a deep breath of air into his lungs, his body rising and falling at a rapid rate. He’s probably grateful your parents can’t hear him yelling. Otherwise they’d come in and ask more invasive questions while you’re not in the position to answer them, half naked and all.
“And where was I while you guys were fucking behind my back?” Jay asks, darting his eyes between the both of you.
“Hanging out between Dahyun’s legs?” You hypothesize, throwing your other hand in the air. “How the hell are we supposed to remember?”
“And you expect me to believe you kissed his scrawny ass first?” Jay asks you.
“Dude, you’ve seen me shirtless,” Jake remarks, rolling his eyes.
 “True, but it’s not much of a show, bro.”
“Seriously, this is not the point!” You yell, placing your face in your hands.
“Yes it is! You’re my sister!”
“And she’s my girlfriend,” Jake interrupts, “so you need to get your head out of your ass and stop acting like she’s not capable of taking care of herself.”
Jake stands up to Jay, the two of them face to face with each other in a way you expected when your relationship came out of the shadows. You don’t want Jay to feel betrayed, but at the same time, it will kill you if Jake gets hurt trying to stick up for you.
“My priority will always be looking out for my family.” Jay turns to you, disappointment clear as day in his eyes. “No matter how I’ve shown it, I didn’t expect to be branded the bad guy for wanting to protect you.”
Jay slams the door on his way out. Tears prick your eyes, silence permeating the bedroom.
Jake sits back down next to you and places a few kisses on the curve of your shoulder. “Believe it or not, but I think he took it better than I thought he would.”
“He hates me,” you sob.
“He doesn’t hate you. Maybe me, but never you.” Jake takes your hand and kisses the inside of your palm, tucking it gingerly between his fingers. “Nobody could ever hate you.”
“I need to fix this, though.” You swiftly kiss Jake’s lips before standing up to get dressed, throwing on a pair of gym shorts and one of his shirts you stole. When you go to Jay’s room, it’s empty. But you hear the faint notes of a guitar from somewhere on the first floor of the house.
You walk down the stairs to find Jay strumming his favorite Yamaha in the living room, the one your father brought home from a trip to Japan for Jay as his graduation present. You step towards his spot on the couch quietly, but he’s already too adept at sensing your presence. He stops playing but says nothing.
“Hey,” you say.
“Don’t.” Jay’s voice is gruff. “Don’t ‘hey’ me right now.”
“Well, if you’re looking for an apology, I’m not going to give you one.”
The two of you are silent, unsure where to take the conversation next. What was there to say? Yes, you felt guilty for keeping Jay in the dark, but either way, the situation would hurt him. His best friend and his younger sister falling in love is not ideal, but feelings couldn’t be fought. All the same, the deceit sat in your stomach like a stone, begging to be thrown away.
You sigh and sit down on the love-seat, adjacent to Jay’s spot on the couch. “I really like him, Seongie,” you confess. “No. I, actually—I love him.”
Jay looks directly at you for the first time, his eyes a bit puffy. “Are you happy?”
“What?”
“Are you happy? Does he treat you well?”
You laugh. “I mean we’ve only been a couple for about 12 hours, so—”
“You know what I mean, asshat.” The two of you share a laugh together, the mood much lighter than before. “Do you see a future with him?”
You nod. “Yeah, I do.”
“Then I can’t get in between that. I just wish one of you would’ve fucking said something.”
“And I would’ve, but you know Jaeyun.”
Jay nods. “He’s a wimp.”
“No,” you shake your head, smiling. “He just didn’t want to hurt you either. He loves you, and I love you, too.” You run a hand through your hair, contemplating your next words. “I’m just not a baby anymore, Jongseong. I know how to handle things.”
Jay nods, sniffling. “I know. It’s just…hard.”
“What is?”
He puts his guitar by his side. Clapping his hands together, he tries to brush off whatever emotion is surfacing. “It’s nothing, I don’t know. Stupid, probably.”
You move positions to sit closer to your brother, placing a hand on his knee. “Nothing you say to me could ever be stupid.”
He knocks you in the shoulder with his fist lightly. “It’s just—when did you get so grown up? You gotta stop doing that.”
“If I did, I’d be dead.”
“True.” Jay chuckles. “I’m sorry for freaking out.”
“I’m sorry for keeping it from you. And I hope you and Jaeyun can talk, too.”
“We will. For now, I’m just glad we did.”
Nodding, you open your arms for a hug, a hug that Jay gladly accepts. It’s a tight one that encompasses both a white flag of retreat and a sincere love for you that you forget to remember sometimes in the midst of his teasing and admonishment. You now know, more than ever, it’s his way of protecting you and proving he cares.
And you’re grateful to have both him and now Jake by your side through all your successes and slip-ups.
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“You don’t seriously think I’m okay with you wearing that dress again now that you have a boyfriend, right,” Jay asks. “I’m even more against it because Jake will have a heart attack.”
You chuckle and twirl in the mirror, checking the back of your dress to make sure it’s sitting right on you. “He thought I looked pretty in it the first time.”
“Well now, he’s not worried about you looking pretty. He’s worried about other douchebags checking you out.” Jay flips the page of his book, trying to feign a nonchalant expression. “I’m just saying, he’s still my best friend. I know things.”
You poke your tongue out at your brother. The doorbell rings and you rush to answer, your heart beating at a vigorous pace in your chest.
Once you open the door, Jake’s standing there with a bouquet of flowers and a lopsided grin on his face. When he sees your dress, however, his smile falters a fraction.
“Oh my god, Jay was right!”
“I usually am,” Jay yells from his space in the sitting room armchair.
Jake looks confused, but the realization dawns on him in a flash. “No, you look beautiful. It’s just…a bit short, don’t you think?”
You pout, crossing your arms. “I spent so much time getting ready, Jae.”
“I know, sweetheart.” He takes his free hand and rests it on your hip. “And everyone will be able to see that. I just don’t want to have to fight anyone off at the restaurant.”
You giggle. Going in for an impromptu kiss, you smell the traces of his cologne. The scent could make your knees buckle, but you try to stay confident and lull your boyfriend into submission. “I’ll only be looking at you. And I can defend myself just fine, baby.”
Jake’s bottom lip juts out. “So, I can’t convince you to change?”
You shake your head, grinning.
Jay sneaks up behind you, making you gasp. “If she isn’t gonna listen to her brother, she’s definitely not gonna listen to you, man.”
Jay and Jake exchange a handshake. You’re relieved their relationship has recovered from the reveal of your relationship, but you know that means they have the potential to gang up on you more out of their misguided sense of protection.
“I have the advantage though. She’s in love with me,” Jake sing-songs, kissing you on the cheek after doing so.
“Regardless,” you say, “I’m wearing the dress.”
Jay rolls his eyes. “Just change, for fuck’s sake.”
Jake nods. “Pretty please?”
“Not a chance in hell, boys.”
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586 notes · View notes
jenosbliss · 3 months
Note
Hello!! May I request Mark 1,5,14,7 fluff & smut?
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pairing. afab!reader x husband!mark | genre. smut , fluff | wc. 2.6k | mdni!
warnings. fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (wrap it up guys), nipple play, kind of body worship, loads of kissing and mark is just a sweetie :’) let me know if i missed something
summary. this marriage was a business deal for you, no one asked your opinion and forced you into this. but mark felt differently and tonight he needed to show you just how much he wanted and loved you.
a/n. this is my first smut ever ㅜ_ㅜ and idk if it’s like smutty? enough so please leave feedback’s! and hope you like it anon
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Mark felt his shoulders relax as the warm droplets ran down his body, with a heavy sigh he leaned against the tiled wall, running a hand through his wet hair. He let his exhausted body relax against the warmth of the water, the official dinner tonight left him worn-out.
Forcing laughters and putting on that fake smile, every time he met a business partner or a colleague wasn’t easy. He loathed official dinners like these, more so because it was all a masquerade for the business world to prove how successful his marriage is, yes it was a dinner to celebrate his wedding.
His parents had arranged his marriage with you as a way to strengthen the merger of the two companies. Everyone knew this marriage was nothing but a business deal, an assurance that this merger will last forever, and benefit both the companies. “That’s how marriages work in families like ours” your elder sister, who suffered the same fate, had tried to provide some comfort to you when you were informed about your marriage.
Mark saw how friendly and happy you seemed today interacting with others at the dinner, knowing you were faking everything too like him but still he couldn’t help and feel his heart swell with affection for you whenever he saw you smile. He loved you, he was sure of it, the moment he saw you walk down the aisle he fell headfast in love with you, and everyday was like fighting a battle to not confess his feelings for you cause he knew you didn’t feel the same.
As the warm water cascaded down his skin, he felt himself release another deep sigh. Yes, you had asked him to wait, to give you sometime but seeing you in that midnight blue dress tonight, the way it perfectly highlighted your curves, the colour complementing your skin tone, the light makeup and your hair falling on your shoulders. He couldn’t help but feel himself drawn to you in ways he has never felt before, his desires getting the best of him, he knew he couldn’t wait any longer.
Turning off the shower Mark walked out, “Get a hold of yourself.” looking at his reflection in the mirror he tried to get his desires in control, to respect your boundaries, to give you the space you asked for. Wrapping a towel around his waist he finally walked out of the bathroom, only to find you standing in the middle of the bedroom struggling with your dress.
He carefully reached you from behind “You need help?” he asked hesitantly, placing his hand on your bare shoulder. His touch sent jolts to run down your spine as you turned around. You didn’t expected to see him half naked in front of you, just a towel hanging below his waist leaving almost nothing to your poor imagination. It was your first time seeing him like this in all the 2 months of your marriage, you knew he was muscular but the way his chiselled abs glistened under the drops of water or the way it made you feel hot in places you won’t like to admit, had you doubting all the things you knew about your husband.
Mark noticed the way your cheeks burnt red and how you gulped looking at him, a smirk curving his lips upwards as he teased “Like what you see?” Snapping out of your thoughts you turned back around “Uh” you cleared your throat “Can you help me with the zipper, I guess it's stuck somewhere” He let out a small chuckle at your flustered state, moving closer as he let one of his hand to gently push your hair aside, fingers grazing the back of your neck, leaving goosebumps to rise in their wake.
He slowly pulled the zipper down, exposing your back to him. He gulped as he let his eyes trail down to your waist, he just couldn’t believe how your beauty defied every standard he knew. Unable to stop himself, his fingers gently drew patterns on your back making you shudder under his touch.
“Mark, what are you doing?” You asked breath hitching when you felt his lips on your shoulder. “Y/N, you’re beautiful.” He kissed the back of your neck, his lips trailing towards your ear as his hands tranced patterns on your neck.
“Mark… we shouldn’t-” you gasped when he pulled you flush against his bare chest, “Y/N” he kissed you below your ear before whispering “I’m sorry, but I’m done waiting.” With this being said he left a trail of wet kisses along your neck and shoulders.
He felt your body tense under his touches and he slowly pulled back, turning you around by shoulders “Do you really not want this?” His eyes searched yours as he continued slowly pulling back himself from your proximity “Do you really not want me?”
With widened eyes you reached out and held his arm “No, no… I want you” you hesitated looking for words that won’t make you look like you hated him “It’s just, I’m confused… scared.” Mark smiled, moving close to you and gently caressing your cheeks “Do you trust me?” He asked, unable to form a sentence, you replied with a nod.
“Then trust me y/n I’m never going to do anything to hurt you.”
Without wasting a second he leaned in and kissed you, his lips moving against yours slowly at first as his hand rested on your waist. He tried to convey all the love he had for you through the kiss and soon it turned passionate, he held you close to him as he continued kissing you with desire.
“Can we take it further?” He asked breathlessly, resting his forehead on yours as his hands slowly rubbed against your sides.
All it took him was a nod and a feeble ‘yes’ from you to gently remove the dress from your shoulders as he let it slip all the way to your hips, his eyes taking in the sight of your bare chest in front of him… he couldn’t help but stare.
Feeling embarrassed under his gaze you moved your arms to cover your breast but he was quick to grab them before they could cover you. “Does it make you nervous when I stare?” He asked in a teasing tone. Blush crept up your cheeks as you admitted “It’s embarrassing”
Mark let out a light chuckle “Don’t hide away from me baby, you’re so beautiful I just can't get enough of the sight.” He whispered right above your ear before leaving a trail of wet kisses along your jaw as his hand carefully touched your breasts softly kneading the skin there when you let out a satisfied moan.
“You like it when I touch you here?” He lightly pinched your left nipple, pulling out a louder moan out of your lips, a satisfied smile curving his lips as he gently nibbled on your neck, sucking harshly and then licking it as if to soothe the pain.
“Mark” your fingers laced in his hair as you tugged them while moaning “don- don’t stop”
“I have no plans of stopping baby” he smirked against your neck. “But let’s make it more comfortable.”
Pulling down your dress as it fell around your ankles he helped you out of it, carrying you in his arms to the bed, carefully putting you down on the mattress, lips never leaving yours while he did all the work. He moved on top of you and trailed his lips down to your chest leaving marks all over.
“Let’s see what happens when I do this…” he licked over your nipple and then on the underside of your breast before taking it all in his mouth. His teeth gently grazed the soft skin there while he sucked on them harshly all the while pinching and kneading the skin of your other breast.
“Mark- ah- too good” you moaned again, arching your back a bit as you grabbed his shoulders, closing your eyes. “Making you feel too good?” He mumbled against your chest while moving his mouth to the other one as he continued his ministrations there.
He finally let go of your mounds with a pop, and came back up to claim your lips once again. This time he kissed with more urgency and hunger… as if he craved it, his hands cupping your breast then moving along your sides before finally moving where you needed them the most.
Tugging on the waistband of your underwear he pulled back from the kiss, his breath hot on your cheeks as you saw his hair sticking on his forehead due to the sweat. “You’re ready for it?” He asked, wiping the sweat from your face with his free hand.
“Yes” you smiled a little before moving your hands around his back as you pulled him close for a kiss. Mark felt himself melt in the kiss, his lips moved against your slowly and gently as if you were made of glass.
“I love you.” He said after pulling out from the kiss as he pushed your underwear down, his eyes meeting the glistening and swollen folds. He couldn’t help but lick his lips at the sight while gently parting the folds with his fingers and he slid a finger between them.
This mere action made you arch your back as you threw your head back, moaning his name. “Fuck you’re so wet already.” He cursed as he collected your arousal in between his fingers and held it in front of him.
You opened your eyes a bit only to see him take his fingers in his mouth, a low moan leaving his mouth. “You taste so fucking delicious.”
“Mark… I need you.” You barely whispered, “Need me where?” He smirked knowing exactly what you meant. “Please Mark” you whined and took his hand to place it over your folds “here…”
He let out a low chuckle at your neediness but complied. Sliding two of his fingers in you as he began moving them in and out all the while rubbing your clit with his thumb. He watched the way you arched your back, the way you bit your lip, the way you threw your head back, the way your hands pinched your nipples and the way you moaned his name, squirming under his touch.
He replaced his hand on your breast and leaned down to suck on the other while increasing the pace of his fingers on your clit and folds. All this making you feel euphoric, pleasure clouding your mind as you feel your orgasm building, the knot in your stomach growing tighter.
“Mark -ah fuck fuck-“ you moaned when he entered a third finger pulling you even closer to your climax “I’m close” you managed to say as he continued fingering you.
Hearing your words he removed his fingers as he sat up on his knees, making you whine at the loss of contact. “Fuck I can’t have you cum on my fingers the first time I fuck you” he groaned as he removed the towel from his hips.
“Baby… goddamn you’re so beautiful” he gently caressed your cheek while looking you under him, the ruined mascara stains on your cheeks due to crying out of pleasure, smudged lipstick around your slightly swollen lips, dark red marks starting to appear all around your chest, your perfect hair now a mess.
He loved how you looked right now, he loved it more because he was the reason for your pleasure, it was like a work of art for him as he glided his hands up and down your sides before gently placing them around your hips as he leaned down and whispered “I’m going to make you mine.”
He stroked himself a few times before entering your folds and in you, letting out a low groan as he felt your warm walls around him, so tight yet so welcoming.
You cried at the feeling of him inside you, his thick and long length hurting a bit as you grabbed his bicep, digging your nails in his skin. “Tell me when you’re comfortable.” He leaned down and kissed the tears away all the while interlacing his fingers with yours.
“Move” you muttered against his lips, after finally adjusting to his size. He nodded and moved in slowly before pulling out a bit and moving in again. He repeated these actions slowly while placing soft kisses all over your face and neck.
After a few thrusts he increased his pace, holding your hips tightly to prevent you from moving as he gradually kept on increasing his pace, a string of moans falling out of your mouth as you threw your head back, relishing in this pleasure, holding his arms to give yourself stability.
A loud moan slipped past his lips when he felt you clench around him, his mind going feral as he nibbled and sucked around your neck and chest muttering “Mine. All mine. My wife.”
You pulled him closer, lacing your fingers in his hair at the words of possessiveness. “Fuck me harder.”
His eyes darkened at your words as he kissed you hungrily, biting and pulling down on your bottom lip, while he moved his hands to rub your clit once again and completely pulling out, just the tip in you before he bottomed out, his dick hitting that spot which made your eyes roll back to your head as you screamed loudly.
“Fuck I love you so much.” “My gorgeous wife.” “Taking me so well.” “Mine.” He mumbled in your ear all the while hitting that one spot repeatedly.
He knew you were close with the way you kept on mumbling incoherent words and clenching around him uncontrollably, he also knew he was close, so Mark again moved one of his hands to your hip, holding you still as he delivered this last sharp and intense thrust, making you slid up a bit as you let out a loud scream of his name and coming undone.
He saw the way orgasm washed over you and something in him snapped as he didn’t give you time to recover and kept on moving, chasing his own high. You cried due to over sensitivity and tried to push him away but to no avail.
He held down your squirming body with his hands and soon his thrusts became sloppier. He threw his head groaning loudly when you clenched around him.
“Shit baby, you’re so fucking good at it.” He moaned before coming undone. You felt him cum inside you, a moan slipping past your lips. He looked down to where your bodies met and how his cum got mixed with yours. “You’re so messy.” He looked up at you once again admiring your messy and worn out state “But I love seeing you a mess like this.” He pecked your lips “My mess.”
Gently pulling out he rushed to the bathroom to grab a wet towel and cleaned you before wiping your face with wet tissues, tossing them in the dustbin as he finally laid down next to you, pulling you close against his chest.
“When I said I love you… I meant it. I know this marriage wasn’t the ideal one but that doesn’t mean we can’t try and make the best out of it.” He placed a lasting kiss on your forehead “You are my wife. And I won’t hesitate a bit to say that you actually mean the world to me now.”
“I love you.”
You looked up at him to meet his eyes as you placed a hand on his cheek, rubbing your thumb slowly over his cheekbone before kissing him softly.
“I love you too.”
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a/n. this fic is not related to the poll i posted earlier, that’s for a different one ;)
masterlist. nct dream | nct 127 | wayv
100 follower event 🌷
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stargirlinterludefr · 3 months
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YES TO HEAVEN: jj maybank x reader
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Synopsis: Three times JJ is told you love him (+1 time he finally says it back.)
TW: mentions of physical, emotional and verbal abuse, mentions of drug usage (weed), alcohol consumption, mention of Luke Maybank, mention of child abuse, angst to fluff, use of y/n
If there is one thing everyone in the Outer Banks knows about JJ Maybank? It’s his ferocious loyalty. He’s probably the most loyal man to walk the planet. The boy would walk into a fire blind to save the people he loves even if he only had a 0.99% chance of doing so, he’d rather take that chance over anything else.
But, there was one thing you knew about JJ Maybank and that was the fact he was terrified of love. The irony right? A boy so full of love that he’s nearly bursting at the seams, petrified that he isn’t worthy of the very thing.
And yet…you love him as though it’s as easy as breathing.
A fact that he can’t seem to except, no matter how hard he tries.
-
1st Time: SHARING A JOINT
The first time you tell JJ you love him, and not in the friendly way, is when you are both high as kites.
And that’s exactly what JJ pins it down to, the fact that you’re only saying you love him because you’re high. There couldn’t possibly any other reason you love someone like him, right?
“It’s crazy as shit to think that the stars…they’re just like a bunch of dead suns but they’re still vibin’ it up in the sky man.” JJ rambles, intoxicated brain running at a slower pace than usual but still managing keeping up with his everyday hyperactive sober brain.
You stare lovingly, not at the dead suns, but at JJ. Despite how much you’d smoked, your eyes held so much adoration that the Maybank boy could feel it burning into the side of the face and he didn’t dare turn you’re way because he’s sure he’d up and bolt at the sight of such love.
“I wish I could be a star, just chillin’ light years after my death and being some beautiful light in the sky it’s so-“
“I love you.” You blurt out, mind not catching up to the words that had slipped past your lips and perhaps not even realising you’d said them out loud until JJ’s head snapped in your direction at the speed of light.
The look on his face nearly made you cry, the look of utter terror that flashed on his features would be enough to make anyone cry because how could anyone hurt this boy? A boy so special, kind and loving.
A boy who currently looked at you like you had three heads.
“W-What?” JJ splutters, he’d planned to play it off jokingly, as though you were saying it in a friendly way. But he wasn’t stupid, sure he’s had a lot of cuncussion due to all the blows to the head he’s taken, but he wasn’t stupid. Nor was he blind.
He knew the way you looked at him and he knew he looked at you that way too.
You cheeks flush slightly, JJ also tries to downplay that as you being high outta your mind, “I just…I love you, Jay.” You whisper, so earnestly and full of meaning that JJ laughs.
He actually laughs.
You feel sick.
“Nah, you don’t love me man.” He throws out, mind sobering up so quickly that it almost gives him whiplash with the speed it happens. He sits up and shuffles away from you slightly, the feeling of rejection burns deeply in your gut.
You don’t feel so high anymore.
“But I do, love you I mean.” You state, beginning to anxiously pick at your nails as JJ scoffs, tongue rolling on the inside of his cheek as he pulls himself to his feet.
It’s almost embarrassing how quick you are to follow.
“Why’d you-“ He starts, throwing his hands up before slapping them back to his thighs, his glare cutting you in half like a sharp knife. “You- you’re high, y/n, you prolly’ ain’t gonna remember this in the morning.”
You try to speak, but your mouth is hoarse and you wonder if you even have the strength to open it.
“Let’s just forget about this, yeah?” He sighs out and you nearly cry at how you nod, forcing a smile for his benefit.
2nd Time: JOHN B
JJ is sat in the hammock at the Château, blue eyes intently watching as you, Kiara and Sarah giggle like three little girls as you share stories animatedly between one another.
The boy doesn’t even realises he’s smiling at the sight until John B speaks from beside him, “What’s got you looking so happy, and if you dare say you’ve jacked off in my hammock I swear to god…I’ll kill you.” JB warns jokingly, bringing himself to sit across from the blonde haired boy as JJ’s cheeks basically flush.
“Nah man, you know I wouldn’t do that shit infront of impressionable ladies.” He mocks, eyes darting to you and back to John B who looks at JJ as though he’s got him all figured out.
“What’re you doin’ anyway? Thought you, Pope n Cleo were off gettin’ some beers?” He then quizzes, trying to play it off, he can essentially feel John B’s interrogation looming.
The Routledge boy shrugs, “We were, we got back like ten minutes ago, you not hear us call out?”
Busted. He’s so fucking busted.
JJ clears his throat as he leans back on his arms, “Was probably nappin’ the sun has been killin’ me off, bro.”
“Uh huh, you sure it’s the sun that’s been making you all…distracted?” John B quizzes, eyebrow raised as he stares intently at his best friend who refuses to look him in the eye. Completely out of character for JJ’s golden retriever like nature, he never avoided eyes with anyone unless he was afraid.
JJ clenched his jaw, his eyes unknowingly travelling to you once more and this time, John B follows his line of sight and his mind clicks into place.
“Ah.” He him making JJ’s head snap toward him as the Maybank boy narrows his eyes toward his best friend.
“What? What does ‘ah’ mean?” JJ interrogates quickly, nudging JB with his knee so the boy would answer him instead of wearing a very annoying smirk on his sun kissed face.
“Ah means that you have feelings for y/n.” John B states bluntly, deciding to not beat around the bush because he knew better than anyone that beating around the bush is exactly the thing that has prevented you and JJ from confronting your feelings for this long.
JJ shifts uncomfortably and shakes his head, “The fuck? Only feelings I have for y/n are like the same ones I have for like…Kiara and Cleo, hell even you man.” JJ quickly defends and from the corner of his eye, he tries not to watch as you laugh so beautifully at something Sarah said.
Your laugh was like JJ’s own personal drug, if he could bottle the sound and get drunk to it every night he would.
John B laughs dryly before saying, “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Jay, she obviously likes or even loves you back so why not just…you know?” He says, imitating kissing motions with his hands as JJ’s face scrunches up.
“First of all, that makes you look like your a puppet bein’ controlled or some shit,” JJ begins, sitting up slightly in the hammock “And secondly, she obviously doesn’t like me and I don’t like her, we’re just friends.” He stresses, shrugging despite the desperate look in his eyes that always tells John B the truth of it.
And to prove himself wrong, both you and JJ turn your heads at the same time, catching each other’s gaze for a few moments. You always felt as though the world comes come to a halt when this happens, as though both you and him were the only ones in the world but then you feel Kiara nudge your shoulder and you remember JJ said he basically wouldn’t feel the same way about you, ever.
John B shook his head with a small laugh as he watches the interaction, standing up from the hammock as JJ’s eyes dart from yours and up to John B who gives him a quick pat to the shoulder.
“I don’t know what you tell yourself, bro, but…friends don’t look at each other like that.”
3rd time: AFTER A FIGHT WITH LUKE.
The third time that JJ is told you love him probably goes down in the worst way possible.
JJ had just had a huge argument with his father, the reason for which he couldn’t even remember now, all he knows is Luke had punched him square in the jaw and followed it with a kick to the ribs for good measure.
So, JJ was bottled to the brim with anger. And to make matters worse? You were looking at him with so much love that it made him feel sick, he didn’t deserve that love. He didn’t deserve you.
He was currently sat on the dock of the Château, face tensed and twisted with anger as he stared out at the water and you sat beside him…face twisted with anguish at the fact this had happened to the boy you loved.
JJ couldn’t look at you, again. But not because he didn’t want to but because he knew that if he did, he’d likely flip the top off the bottle that was holding everything inside of him and the thought of doing so absolutely terrified him.
“Do you want me to get some ice for your cheek? It’d probably help with the swelling.” You ask softly, eyes trailing down the side of the boys face as he doesn’t respond.
JJ really wanted you to be quiet but your love and care was overflowing and his was overcome by a blinding anger that he was struggling hard to contain, the anger that was hanging loosely by a thread which he sensed was about to be snapped at any moment.
“Or maybe a beer? Or I could roll a joint? It might be good if you-“
“God, would you just shut the fuck up!”
Snap.
Your face subtly drops but you’re quick to pick it back up, you know you have no right to be upset, he’s just angry at his dad. He’s not angry at you, right?
“All you ever fuckin’ do is yap down my ear, ‘oh do you want some ice JJ?’, ‘do you like this new shirt I got JJ?’, ‘I love you, JJ.” The boy mocks and you feel as though you’re being sliced open, your feelings laid bare like a wounded animal.
JJ scoffs out a dry humourless laugh as he raises to his feet, you are once again embarrassingly quick to follow. “I mean, it’s so fuckin’ tiring, you spout so much worthless shit down my ear like how am I supposed to get a clear thought when you’re clinging to me like I’m some sort of lost limb! It’s pathetic as shit, bro!”
His chest heaves in pure anger, anger you desperatley try to believe isn’t directed at you.
“This is just your anger talkin’, Jay, it’s not me you’re angry at its-“ JJ groans loudly enough to cut you off as his hands gesture to you wildly.
“And here you go again! Wafflin’ bullshit that I don’t give a fuck about, dictating to me how I should feel! Is that what you hoped? When you told me you loved me? That you’d get the same thing said back?” Your heart beat is sickeningly fast in your chest and you try to will your voice to come out as strong when you mutter;
“I mean, maybe? I-I never expected for you to say it back-“
“Damn y/n, I mean I know you’re smart but I never took you to be blind as shit! You and me? We ain’t gonna happen!” As JJ’s fuse burns out, his chest heaving and his words all but escaping him your heart shatters.
You both stand there, staring widely at one another.
Regret seeps into JJ’s eyes so quickly that you don’t have time to notice, your own eyes holding so much hurt that it cuts right through JJ’s anger and grasps harshly at his heart. Tugging roughly at the love he has for you, his blue eyes sweeping over your soul shattering expression.
JJ wants you to scream back, he wants you to hit him, he knows he deserves it. But you’re not his dad, and he’s unleashed his anger on you like you were.
You’d never lay a hand on him, the thought of doing so would likely make you keel over and vomit. You’re probably the most gentle person he’s ever come across and he’s just thrown whatever gentleness you’d extended to him, through your love for him, right back right into your face. Harshly.
And all you say in response?
Nothing at all.
You nod, tears now horrifically slipping down your face as you simply turn and walk away.
JJ’s ashamed to admit he doesn’t go after you, he remains frozen in place. Mind whirring at the fact that for a second, he’d acted exactly like his father.
+1: JJ SAYS IT BACK.
You never claimed to be an expert on love, you actually found it incredibly hard to believe in. Growing up and not seeing your parents love one another is a harsh reminder that you don’t actually know what love is supposed to be.
Or, maybe you do.
It’s the love you hold so dearly for your friends, the small things you love like the music you listen to and the mismatched socks you wear.
Love is how you’d define what you held in your heart for JJ, despite all the cruel words he’d hauled your way.
There is one thing your parents taught you about love…the fact that it hurts.
You’d never seen your parents actively be happy together, but when you looked upon old photos and gazed at your older siblings you knew they must’ve loved each other once upon a time. You and your siblings were a product of that love, the proof that danced in front of their faces to ensure they don’t forget. Proof of a love that burned out.
You don’t think your love for JJ will ever burn out and that’s what hurts you the most. You can’t even bring yourself to be angry at him for what he said, because he was right.
Why did you expect him to feel the same way? Why did you even hold out hope?
You hadn’t seen the Maybank boy since your fight, Sarah had told you that he was searching high and low for you but you’d somehow managed to stay out of his path.
In other words? You were hiding on the beach where you first told JJ you loved him. In a very cliche movie kind of way, you knew he wouldn’t think to check this particular spot until the last minute.
And you didn’t intend on being here when he did figure it out, but, in the aftermath? You’re insanely glad you were.
You hear him approach, you don’t acknowledge him but JJ approaches anyway and he stands still just watching you for a few moments, clearly undecided on what he could say to you.
JJ had come up with a million different speeches and scenarios of how this would play out but he didn’t expect to be tongue tied the minute he caught sight of you laying on the beach, simply gazing up at the stars.
So, he brings himself to lay beside you. He keeps a respectful distance but the fact you aren’t maiming him to death or screaming for him to leave gives him the slightest flicker of hope.
“You know, it’s uh crazy as shit to think about the stars, they’re just a bunch of dead suns but they’re still vibin’ up in the sky.” JJ quotes and he swears he sees the corner of your lip twitch, you just won’t give him the satisfaction of a smile.
“I always liked the stars, in a sort of fucked up way, they remind me that i’m not alone. That there’s billions of people under the same exact sky livin’ and breathin’ at the same time as me.” He rambles, his head now turning to you so he can gaze upon you.
This time, you’re the one who can’t bring yourself to look back.
“What I’m tryna say is, the stars…they remind me of you.” At that, your eyes find his, JJ smiling softly as he catches your gaze.
“Stars are so beautiful, they can direct you on the places you need to go a-and they remind you that no matter what, they’ll always be there, so insanely gorgeous.” You sit up and JJ is proudly fast to follow you this time.
“Wh- why are you saying this, JJ?” You whisper, voice so gentle that JJ’s heart aches at the fact he said all those cruel things to you.
“I’m saying this because…I-I love you, and i’m sorry i’ve been such a fucking idiot and i’ve been hiding behind this stupid ass wall I put up but i just know that ever since I met you…no one else has been worth even thinkin’ about.” He rambles desperately, hands coming to clasp your own as you stare up at him.
You’re so beautiful that JJ has to physically restrain himself from simply smashing his lips onto yours before you can take the time to respond.
You stare at him with so much fear in your eyes that JJ imagines it’s exactly what he looked like when you told him you loved him that first time.
“B-but what if things get like complicated? What if we fight? I-I mean-“ You start but JJ is quick to cut you off.
“I don’t care how complicated this gets, baby, I want you.” He says so earnestly and full of meaning that it takes you all but two seconds to lean forward and kiss him.
JJ happily excepts your kiss, the two of you breathing a sigh of relief at the feeling.
And from the corner of his eye, JJ thinks he sees the stars shine a little bit brighter.
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colebabey888 · 4 months
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Things I did that helped me become "That IT Girl" and could help you too! | IT GIRL DIARIES 🎀🩷
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Physical Health + Skincare🎀 🩷
- cleared my gut ( very crucial )
- worked my lazy ass off ( walking, cycling skipping just for 15 min everyday does more than you can imagine )
- became besties with green juices and smoothies ( it doesn't have to be nasty, just healthy )
- included leafy greens in every meal
- LEMON WATER ( hot water with lemon in every morning on an empty stomach and you can add honey if you don't enjoy sour things, trust me on this one !!! )
- limit processed artificial sugar ( honey and sugar in fruits are natural aka glucose and actually a good energy source )
- stopped eating junk food ( occasionally is fine but constantly, will cause your body to have issues digesting = bad gut health )
- lost 25 kg ( it's not necessary to lose weight because we're all perfect as we are, but I was at an unhealthy weight for my age + height which affected me physically and mentally )
- ate more protein and fats over carbs ( this works for me but may not for many. ps. fats = healthy fats meaning avocado, nuts, egg yolks ect. )
- BONE BROTH !!!! ( it's packed with all the minerals your body needs and has mega benefits for your skin, it helped clear my acne so well )
- prioritized zinc supplements in my everyday life for hairgrowth and to promote healthy skin ( it has tons of other benefits too, these were just my main focus points )
- remained consistent with my skincare routine ( advice : less = more )
- started doing coconut oil pulling ( 5 min is all you need )
Mental Health + Lifestyle🎀 🩷
- began journaling negative thoughts that lingered in my mind ( leave it on paper instead of projecting it into your reality )
- i drew up a vision board and lived my life according to it ( this is very beneficial if you're a procrastinator like me and can't find direction. it's similar to having a to do list )
- very important! cut off toxic friends ( you don't need an indepth of what toxic is, you'll know! )
- i began to read more often ( choose your favorite genre but I chose spirituality as it helped me gain mental stability )
- be selfish ( don't actually be rude for no reason ) be selfish with your time, your space, your energy. reciprocation is key, if you are not receiving what you're giving, you're wasting yourself.
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this is your daily talk with @colebabey888 🎀 🩷
The Digital Dollar ✨👛
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femmefatalevibe · 1 year
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Femme Fatale Guide: Top "Glow Up" Tips & Habits To Become The Best Version of Yourself
Prioritize the Holy Trinity: Nutrition, Movement, & Sleep. Following a whole-foods, plant-based diet with vegetables and/or fruit at every meal and limiting processed foods is one of the simplest ways to improve your overall health. Drink plenty of water, have any necessary supplements (like vitamin B12, vitamin D, omega 3s, etc.), and reduce your consumption of sugary, alcoholic, or caffeine-loaded beverages. Try to incorporate at least 30 minutes of walking and/or a simple 15-20 workout into your everyday routine. Make getting a full night's rest (usually 7-9 hours for most people) a non-negotiable in your life.
Practice Radical Self-Acceptance. Fully embrace your personal values. Get comfortable with your authentic desires. Define and set goals for yourself in every area of your life.
Nourish Your Body, Mind, and Spirit Consistently. Eat a healthful diet (enough food without overstuffing yourself), sleep and move enough throughout the day, and continue learning and educating yourself on current events, your industry/career field, art, culture, history, world languages, etc. Practice mindfulness and self-care activities. Honoring your sexual needs. Giving yourself at least one rest/reset day per week.
Cultivate Sustainable (and Personally-Fulfilling) Routines. Your sleep schedule, work/school schedule, workout schedule throughout the week, social and self-care time, date nights, time for your hobbies, errands, cleaning, and relaxation. Make appointments with yourself to empower you to fulfill all your daily tasks and activities to ensure you can work and play without burning yourself out in the process.
Set Boundaries. With your friends, family, work-life/professional network, romantic and sexual partners, and yourself. Understand your emotional, physical, and energetic limitations. Communicate them clearly, compassionately, and unapologetically. Cut toxic people out of your life. Avoid codependency like the plague. Nurture your healthy and supportive interdependent relationships regularly.
Learn What You Enjoy. Ensure To Incorporate These Products, Routines, and Relationships Into Your Day. It can be a piece of dark chocolate and a favorite T.V. show, a long evening phone call with a loved one, a hot bubble bath, or any other small luxury that gives you genuine pleasure and adds some necessary joy to your day.
Check In With Yourself Regularly. Pivot When Necessary. Self-improvement, goal setting, relationship building, and cultivating unshakeable self-love/life satisfaction takes time, experimentation, trial and error, and tons of self-reflection before you get it right in any area of your life. Be honest with yourself on what's work, what's not, where to remain consistent, and what areas of your life would benefit from a change.
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kalims · 1 year
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Can I please request any Twst character seeing their crush kiss their tsum?
⊹ kissing their tsum tsum
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premise. maybe leaving their tsum somewhere to come back to wasn't such a good idea anymore when it's clearly taking the attention of the person they like.
parts. floyd (i somehow forgot him help)
content. gender neutral reader
characters. riddle, leona, jack, epel, sebek
cw. written by someone who hasn't played through the event and does not know shit lol
note. are they just plushies??? or do they have a consciousness of their own??? I am so confused but wow I wrote somehow
I just slapped whoever had cards on the event onto here 😭 caters part is my favorite ugh
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riddle rosehearts
left his tsum in it's custom made velvet chair to grab another jar of sugar since riddle didn't know it ran out.
and yes, he had one made for it. smaller version of his own and stuff, it literally has better privileges than any other resident of the dorm.
^ he totally drinks tea with it and believes that even if it isn't actually alive it's him and if this tsum didn't drink tea at the exact time for a specific rule he still feels like he broke one.
he even pours a cup for it hekasbkqkas.
I mean the liquid doesn't get drank by anyone obviously but riddle still does it.
so as he's walking back, opening the chair to take a peek to see if it's enough cubes once he closes it, and looks up he almost just trips on air and drops the glass jar.
he fumbles with the object for a second, blinking rapidly at the sight of you snuggling into his tsum then giving it little kisses every now and then, did he hear you calling it cute—?
"wha...what in the world are you doing?!"
"it's so adorable.." you mumble, hearing the boy but it just goes in one ear and out the other.
good lord he doesn't know whether he'd like to melt into a puddle, combust from his red face, or be that tsum.
should he be jealous? no. but is he? yeah. even if he's denying it severely.
next session the tsum was left with no tea and was promptly caged in his room in hopes that you would not do all that to his tsum, and to his real self instead.
leona kingscholar
I honestly don't think he would really care for it??
I mean wow. it looks like him. cool. whatever. what's he supposed to do with it? it's just a plush no need to work up so much for it.
not that doing effort for it benefits him in anyone but he just keeps it on his bed since he didn't really wanna go anywhere else and his bed just happened to be near so...
*yoink*
no one tells him this, especially not ruggie but he actually sleeps with it. an arm over it sometimes and usually coddling it in his arms.
trust me ruggie has proof.
100 madol for 5 seconds fr
well as usual it's in his bed just there in it's habitat just like the real leona kingscholar.
even someone like him takes the time to actually go to the bathroom so while he's gone, and when he's on his way back he immediately knows you're there.
that's a scent he can recognize anywhere (well duh. bro spent so long tryna engrave it) and if he can smell you so close to his destination then obviously you're in his room.
also he left the door slightly closed and it's more open than before so that's that.
just like anyone else he completely stops before he could open his mouth and is actually flabbergasted and flustered?
why are you kissing his tsum?? "that's kinda creepy ain't it?" he drawls but his tucked ears says I wanna be it so bad.
"guess i'm creepy then."
you say simply and go back to coddling the damn thing. leona scowls at the relevation. there's no way a small, lame version of him is gonna win you like that!
move over so you can enjoy the real thing >:(
jack howl
mr. everyday is leg, arm, everything day guy.
I believe he's more of an outdoors dude, a very sweet outdoors dude.
the kind of sweet outdoors dude that would buy a miniature plushie version of weights for his tsum so it can get the eveyday is leg, arm, everything day too.
cute thing is jack is actually so proud of himself 😭 evident from the cute lil' wag of tail he does.
he's so pure!!
and him and his tsum totally 'work out' together.
well it's mainly him but he likes to think that his tsum is too. if he's doing an exercise that doesn't require a lot of moving his tsum is just there somewhere with it's weights facing him.
if he's running he has it on his shoulders awww..
sometimes he can get a little distracted though. from his intense focus he didn't even hear you approaching, let alone sitting down and basically hogging his tsum all to yourself!
at some point you just made the tsum copy whatever the real jack does. jack is doing push-ups? damnn.. tsum is doing is so easily.
you get the point.
it's only then when jack notices when he hears you and mistakes your comment for him.
"ahh, you did great cutie.. so strong, so cute." he hears you mumble and turns pink before turning back to look at you and the happy movement of his wolf traits pause.
oh that wasn't for him.
jack stares in envy. HE SWEARS THAT TSUM JUST SMIRKED AT HIM.. LITERALLY TRAITOR.
man just feels betrayed.
cater diamond
absolutely adores him tsum to bits!!
ever since he got it he practically drags it everywhere and his magicam page is full of it.
I reckon cater named it. maybe dia(mond) or something, if not then the classic cater 2.0 which is funny cause now he got 3 clones!!
^ the other two and now lil' cater 🎤
which makes me wonder. it'd totally be cute if he had like, two other tsums that are copies of the result of his unique magic. now it's actually cater 2.0 for real!
cater 2.0 is definitely more popular than some students so you could go up to one and say: you know who this is *picture of random student*
they'll be like: ehh... can't say I do, or seen them before
you holding up a picture of cater 2.0: what about this?
them: oh thats cater 2.0 obviously!
random student crying in the backround.
IMAGINEEE (laughs in pain)
ahem. he likes to have his tsums (tsums cause he actually got 3 to match himself) around everywhere so he can incorporate them into his selfies.
also he needs to feed everyone more cater 2.0's content. there's cater D, cater I, and cater A who all spell out dia :DD big brain
in the music room of his club where's he's peacefully testing out a riff behind him his tsums lay..
so obviously he didn't hear you shuffle into the room, let out the quietest gasp ever and just take the three into your arms and look like you're in heaven.
you stay like that for a while, smiling and hugging the tsums cause wow were they just adorable! and there's three of them!
you all spare the three a sweet kiss before realizing that the music has stopped and cater is pouting at you.
"aw that isn't fair!" he whined, and smiles cheekily. "these guys and I want some of that too!" he points to his two splits that has recently conjured.
now you got three miniature caters that got the kiss, and three real caters that want one yayy!
sebek zigvolt
said he was not going to care for.. something like that and if there was anything like.. that, the only thing he'd care of was one of malleus'.
then said that 'he wanted to educate the plush' even though it was a plush. he's already contradicting himself here, where's the hate??
legit just rambled to the plush for an hour straight preaching about the greatness and glory of his young master.
where silver actually woke up from! silver!! crazy, right?
it must have been a lot of even silver rose from it.
said he was not going to spend anything on it unlike the other people who had spent a hefty amount of madol for the comfort of their tsum and for them alone.
but he figured.. just getting a small painting of the young master so the tsum would look at it everyday isn't too much of a stretch.
that's what he said before and now he's on his way to get another smaller version merch of malleus.
god forbid if malleus ever came inside the room cause he's just gonna see a lot of stuff.. but don't worry cause sebek atleast has a separate corner for all that.
'I will not care for it' my ass.
of course he had completely forgotten that he had invited you over and was outside fetching his blade he forgot to bring inside.
as per dorm rules! don't want it flying away anywhere if a.. *coughs* storm suddenly appears.
lilia had already invited you in and insisted it was fine for you to enter sebek's room beforehand even with your doubts he just pushed you in and you weren't in a place to argue when he didn't even budge when you tried to stop.
once you just walked around out of curiosity it was only in due time where you would see the plush.
an idea pops in your head.
sebek did not expect to see you inside his room.
let alone on his bed, with his tsum in your arms and you dutifully committing yourself into showering it with love and affection.
he's just flabbergasted, shocked to silence, every synonym near to those. but there's an increasing amount of steam pouring out of his ears as his face twitches more by the minute.
"WHAT ARE YO—"
you kiss it so casually that sebek shuts up and almost faints out of embarrassment and fluster.
WHAT IS GOING ON?? he's so confused. WHO LET YOU IN??
bat chuckling somewhere
epel felmier
would very much like to dress up his tsum.
he knows because vil already saw the tsum looking like a monstrosity covered in dirt and leaves, only spared a disappointed look but stayed silent.
not in the way you'd think cause he feels like he can do whatever he'd like to this tsum and vil wouldn't really care like the man would to real epel.
a hallelujah for him honestly.
he doesn't really put much love to his tsum but it's pretty cute that's all. rook finds it way more appealing than him though which he isn't sure how to interpret.
epel doesn't leave it just anywhere when it's outside of pomefiore. cause students there are polite and definitely would not wreck a plushie that looks exactly like him.
if he did the tsum would probably disappear on campus and be found in a dumpster.
*chills* cause he somehow feels for the tsum.
when he's angry he just vents to it and vents whenever. including the times he's just having a crisis about you.
if that tsum was alive godddd epel would be so exposed.
he left the tsum somewhere outside, in the middle of the garden.
he was practicing his make-up there, as per vil's instructions and went out to go fetch a product he had forgotten to grab along with the others.
he figured he might as well take a cup of water as a drink to go.
epel is just gulping down the water when it's just coincidence that he lowers the cup, sees you, there's water still in his mouth, then you give his tsum a little cute kiss so he just spits it all out.
OH MY GOD WHAT WAS THAT. he thought completely out of it. he stares intensely at the tsum.
he's definitely regretting venting to the tsum about you cause epel somehow thinks it's somehow alive and is now rizzing you up, with the knowledge HE gave IT!
he's so mad help 😭
*epel trying to aggressively rizz you up too*
"you don't need that." *snatches and throws the tsum away*
IN JEALOUSY.
meanwhile you watch it fly with sad eyes. :(
mad epel.
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note. jesus christ I wrote all of this RIGHT AFTER I posted that /srs ☹ AND I DID ALL THIS IN LIKE AN HOUR HELP ME WHERE DID THAT COME FROM
commision me!
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