#break to breathe fanfiction

[okamirayne]

BREAK TO BREATHE UPDATE 🚨

HEAVEN HOLD US CHAPTER 9

😅🫠💀….ENJOY!!

*passes out on fic notes *

[kettlefire]

Justice League & The Observants

The first time The Observants appeared before the Justice League, they were met with resistance. The JL was more than apprehensive when it came to working with the beings.

A new side of their world was exposed to them. Since the day those things showed up at the watchtower, everywhere the JL turned, there was a new spooky thing to learn about.

The strange beings didn't say much. Appearing in the room through a swirling portal, took a look at the heroes and gave them a mission.

A mission. Like suddenly the Justice League works for them. Something that rubbed all the heroes the wrong way.

Yet, they had to take it. They couldn't let a town get absolutely destroyed and leveled just because they disliked the creatures that told them about it.

It kept happening.

Batman pulls out all the stops to learn more about these so called "Observants". Everything he could find.

It takes him down a rabbit hole. Finding out more and more about the world those beings came from. The Zone.

No one could really complain. The visits from the Observants were always short and to the point. A new problem has arise in the time line and they needed to fix it.

That was until the first time it wasn't one of those things stepping out of the portal.

This time it was a kid. Or something that looked like a kid, and this kid looked pissed.

He demands to know everything that the Observants had asked the league to do. Demands to be filled in.

The anger isn't directed at the JL. No, no. It's directed at the Observants. It seems the league aren't the only ones that despise those all-seeing beings.

He's a king. The kid is a King.

Not what anyone had expected, and it seemed the complication only grew more. The king, Phantom, informs them not to trust the Observants.

The Justice League takes it all in surprising strides. Confirms that they have done nothing wrong, and they haven't. It was simply that the Observants cared more of their own opinions than the betterment of the world.

However, it gets a little harder to keep a straight face when they are introduced to the God of Time.

Made even worse when the God, Clockwork, is a child. If they thought Phantom was a kid, this was a baby.

Except in almost a blink of an eye, Clockwork was an old man.

Things just kept getting more complicating and intriguing.

Before the Justice League knows it. They are essentially thrusted into the Zone's own problems. An inner war was brewing, and Phantom wanted to do everything he could to stop it.

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

Chapter 20

alright guys hit the showers. or the bathhouse. wait hold on i left my computer boy in there. guys wait don't open that

SEE HERE FOR GENERAL WARNINGS AND FIC SUMMARY

Some pre-chapter notes:

wow i wrote 10 pages for chapter 19 but i better take it easy so i dont burn out (writes 11 pages for chapter 20) anyway guess who's taking a break after this chapter

this is the one with togiri development but they're extremely not normal about it so it's almost blink-and-you-miss-it

@digitaldollsworld <- betapilled readmaxxer

Content warning tags: mild violence and injury description (non-graphic), description of depression symptoms and nausea, mild mention of eating disorder

< previous - from start - next >

He’s not sure how long he sleeps for, only that he wakes up still-dressed and laid out across his bed, his mouth dry and head groggy, the bedroom lights still on. As he checks his handbook’s clock, he finds he’s entirely missed Monokuma’s morning announcement, which is a good thing; he had no desire to listen to that bear’s irritating voice, especially not today.

But, he doesn’t have much desire to do anything else either. The library no longer feels like the safe haven it used to be, and he had no interest in going anywhere else and running into anyone else, when the atmosphere was still thick with the deaths of two people, and pity that Byakuya didn’t want. Much less, the possibility of encountering Makoto, who was the last person he wanted to see, so to speak.

He lies in bed a moment longer, unwilling to move. Everything feels sluggish, like he’s moving underwater; even his head feels stuffed full with cotton and wool. It's a strange, unfamiliar feeling, and unpleasant, too.

Grief. He thinks blearily at first, before rolling his own eyes at the thought, and pushing himself up with a grunt. Such dramatics didn’t suit him. He wasn't the kind of person to spare such theatrics, regardless of his circumstances.

He showers, brushes his teeth, and half-debates whether to try his hand at shaving before ultimately deciding against it (it didn’t feel like his stubble should be that noticeable, yet). He forgoes changing into a clean uniform in favor of his pajamas, and collapses back into bed with a sigh, hand searching immediately for his handbook - but finding nothing but empty sheets.

“Hello, there!”

He jerks upright immediately. Standing in the foot of his bed is Monokuma, rocking back and forth and looking as innocent as could be. Or, would be, if not for the handbook clutched in its paw.

Byakuya dives for it without thinking, but his perception is off, and he crashes to the carpet instead with a grunt. Monokuma sidesteps him casually with a laugh. “Whoa, there! Easy partner, don’t wanna hurt yourself!” It dances around his head, infuriatingly out of reach. “Didja miss me that bad? If you wanna hug, you can just say so!”

“Give it back,” He snarls, as he picks himself up. He’s in no mood for its jokes. “Give me back my handbook!”

“Your handbook? My my, but these were all mine first, weren’t they?” It shakes a paw disapprovingly in his face. “I just need to check it real quick, after all. I didn’t expect Mister Fujisaki to go and Macgyver anything onto here, so if it’s anything malicious, I’ll have to do a quick wipey-wipe!” Byakuya makes another lunge, and it juggles the handbook out of his reach, hopping backwards with a mad cackle. “After all, if it’s anything naughty, there’s no way I can let it fall in the hands of my precious students!”

“You miserable little-” Byakuya tries to rise to his feet quickly, but he hasn’t eaten since yesterday, and a bout of dizziness crashes into him like a wave. He sways and braces himself against the mattress, one arm still reaching out clumsily to try and grab at Monokuma.

But the bear has already flipped it open, scrolling so quickly through the screens that the little automated voice can’t keep up, the words blurring together. “Schoo-Stu-App-Day-”

“Whoops, too far.” It scrolls back. “Applications, that’s what we wanna see. And, what’s this?”

Byakuya feels his blood run cold. There was only one application there, the one Chihiro had downloaded for him. Alter Ego. The app was inconspicuously named ‘Test_App’ in the interface itself, but if Monokuma opened it-

“Well well well. Let’s take a look-see!” It crows, and Byakuya’s protest is frozen in his throat. He shuts his eyes, expecting to hear Chihiro’s voice-

“Black to E5.”

He opens his eyes again. What?

Monokuma also seems confused, tilting its head as it stares at the little screen. “What’s this? A chessboard?”

“Black to E5,” Alter Ego repeats, so digitized and monotone it was nearly unrecognizable. “Would you like to review the board?”

“Is this all it is? A chess game?” Monokuma sounds almost disappointed. Byakuya, seeing his chance, surges forward, snatching the handbook back and snapping it closed. He presses it to his chest, feeling his heart thud beneath it.

“Is that a problem?” He demands, and Monokuma shrugs, shaking its head.

“I guess not, but I thought it’d be something spicy, y’know? You’re a growing boy, after all!” It reaches out to pat Byakuya’s knee, and he steps backwards just in time, lip curling in disgust. “Aw, don’t act so mean to your headmaster, you’ll give me a complex!”

“Get out.” He hisses. “You got what you came here for. Leave.”

“Oh, alright…you sure know how to make a bear feel glum...” It sighs, kicking at the carpet, before it makes its way to the door. “Take care, now! Make sure you eat something, y’hear? I don’t want any hunger strikes in this house! And-”

No sooner had Monokuma crossed the threshold, had Byakuya jumped up, and sped forward to slam the door with a resounding bang. He takes a moment to breathe, leaning against the wall, legs suddenly weak.

How the hell did that thing get inside my room? He was sure he had locked the door - or he should have locked it, at least. Looking back, he actually can’t remember, but he double and triple-checks now, suddenly paranoid. He also flips off the light for good measure, leaving the room in complete darkness before he crawls back into bed.

Beneath the covers, he opens his handbook, and squints until he can make out the pale green shape of Alter Ego’s face on the screen.

“Is he gone?” Alter Ego asks, and Byakuya relaxes, the tension flooding out of his shoulders.

“Yes.” He whispers back.

Alter Ego makes a sound like a sigh of relief. “I’m glad. I got so scared when he grabbed me.” And its voice sounds so much like Chihiro's that Byakuya feels a strange pressure behind his eyes.

“How did you know?” He asks. “That Monokuma was there?”

“I could hear it. Through the microphone.” He reaches up and touches the tiny pinprick grid of the speaker, and feels the buzz of Alter Ego’s voice against his fingertips. “I didn’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Don’t worry about me. I think he would’ve just deleted you as punishment for me anyway.” He sighs. And then frowns, as a thought comes to mind. “If you could eavesdrop from the microphone this whole time, then you already know…?”

He doesn’t finish his sentence. But he doesn’t need to. Alter Ego makes a quiet noise like a sigh. “Yes, I know.”

“I’m sorry.” And he’s surprised to find that he means it genuinely, and almost laughs at himself. Heartfelt apologies were rare for him, and here he was offering one to an AI, of all things.

“It’s okay. He knew it might happen,” Alter Ego replies, and he imagines it might be smiling, a sad, helpless smile. “There’s nothing we can do about it now.”

“No, I suppose not.”

They’re quiet for a moment. In the darkness, Byakuya can almost pretend that he’s normal - unable to see in the dark as everyone else is. But it’s also the middle of the day, and he’s too restless to sleep, too uneasy to go outside. Too tired to mourn. Too mournful to do anything else.

“Can you really play chess?” He asks instead.

“I can, along with checkers, shogi, and backgammon and more.” 

“Play a round of chess with me, then. I’m bored.”

“Okay!” Immediately, the pale blot of their face on the screen is replaced by a square. “I’ll play black. What’s your first move?”

He smiles to himself. “E2, pawn to E4.”

—

Hours pass like that. He plays chess with Alter Ego (three wins, four losses, and seven draws), and a few rounds of shogi (one win, one loss, and two draws) for good measure. And then, huddled over his desk with his back facing the camera, he pores over lines of Dostoevsky and Nietzsche until he feels too sick from staring at the letters to even hear Alter Ego’s voice, reciting the words aloud beneath a dim ringing in his ears.

By the time he’s pulled out of his concentration by the sound of a knocking at his door, he’s too nauseous to feel hungry, but his throat is stinging from lack of water and there’s a slight pulsing in his head. His immediate first reaction is to ignore it, but that proves to be impossible; whoever was on the other side was clearly, very persistent, and had nothing better to do.

Even so, he lasts a full five minutes until he finally gets up to answer, irritated beyond measure. If it was Makoto, he was going to slam it closed again, reasons be damned. He didn’t even want to think about the other boy, lest he get pointlessly enraged about it.

But instead of brown hair, he’s met with pale white. Kirigiri stands at his threshold, hand partially raised, halfway through knocking, and they stare at each for a moment in silence, as if both surprised to find the other person there.

And then he slams the door shut in her face. Or tries to - instead of the satisfying bang of wood meeting wood, there’s a sickly crunch, and then she’s wrenching the door open, heedless of the way her fingers had just been crushed in the jamb. He almost winces in sympathy, but she’s too busy pushing her way in to offer much room for condolences.

“What is wrong with you?!” He demands, trying not to be too obviously perturbed by her lack of reaction; he doesn’t think he even heard her wince. She ignores him for a moment, attention focused on her hand, as she experimentally clenches and unclenches her fingers. Apparently they’re not broken, or maybe, she just had high pain tolerance. Or she was more insane than he thought.

“We’re calling a group meeting,” She replies, without so much as a waver. “Come to the bathhouse.”

“And why should I?”

“It’s important. I can drag you there if I have to.” It doesn’t sound like an empty threat either. Somehow, she seems impatient, though he’s not sure how he can tell; and it wasn’t just because she shoved her hand into the door in order to deliver the message.

He weighs his options - on one hand, he has no desire to speak with anyone, much less Makoto, who was bound to be there. On the other hand, he didn’t exactly have anything in the way of provisions in his room, and though he was still a little too light-headed to consider eating, it’d be embarrassing to collapse from dehydration at this point. That, and it seemed that Kirigiri had no intention of letting him refuse.

“...I’m going to get dressed first.” He says shortly. If he’s going to have to meet them, it will not be while he’s still in his pajamas.

“Hurry up.”

She makes no move to leave, and he realizes with no small amount of annoyance that she was making sure he wouldn’t be able to run or shut her out again. Somewhat affronted by this, and now wanting to go even less, he grabs a clean set of clothes from his dresser and goes to the bathroom.

Routine carries his hands through the motions, so he manages it relatively quick, but it’s only after he’s applying the finishing touches, that he nearly pokes himself in the eye as he reaches to adjust his glasses. It’s a strange sensation, feeling the bridge of his nose and finding nothing, and even though his original prescription was low and they were more an accessory than anything, he feels a little like he’s lost a limb.

She’s still there when he emerges, though now standing over his desk, bent over the books he has open. She looks up as he approaches, one hand halfway through turning a page.

“What?” He asks, chin turned up in challenge.

“Nothing. Just looking.” She closes the book, and he realizes, scandalized, that it was the one he was reading earlier. It was going to take him ages to find that page again. “You have predictable tastes.”

“Shut up. Are we going or not?”

He follows her out, his hands twitching all the while, smoothing down his shirt, his lapels, his sleeves. Making sure his buttons were lined up, that his shirt was tucked; he hadn’t had the time to put on garters or even try a hand at his tie, and he feels underdressed.

“You’re fine.” Kirigiri says suddenly, and he freezes, one hand resting on the button of a shirt cuff. “Stop fidgeting.”

He scowls. He was walking behind her, so what would she know. “I’m not fidgeting.”

“I can hear you fidgeting. Your buttons are fine.”

“Oh, can you hear my buttons now too?”

It’s a petty, childish remark, one that he can’t stop himself from muttering before he can even reconsider it. She stops at that, halting so suddenly in the middle of the hallway that he almost walks right into her, and turns around to face him, her head moving in a slow tilt from up to down - scanning me, he realizes - before she says: “You look fine. Are you quite done?”

She was checking for me. He’s not sure if he should feel grateful for the courtesy or irritated by her lack of grace. “Did the sound bother you that much?” He asks instead, patting down the front of his shirt one last time.

“...It wasn’t the sound.” Is all she says, with a sort of finality that indicated that no other questions would be answered on the topic.

They enter the bathhouse, and find everyone else there, gathered in a sort of semi-circle around the wall of lockers. Asahina and Ogami, predictably, are huddled close together on one of the benches. Celeste and Yamada sit on another bench, one fidgeting uneasily, the other sitting regally with legs crossed and hands folded. Hagakure is standing next to Owada, who doesn’t even stir when they walk in, and who Byakuya ignores in turn, gaze sliding past him uncomfortably. Fukawa hangs near the back of the group, and twitches when she sees him, though makes no move to approach.

Makoto is leaning against the lockers with hands tucked in his pockets. He looks up as they enter, and stands up straight immediately. “Ah-”

“We’re all here?” Kirigiri cuts him off, casting a glance around the room. “Good. Can you catch him up, Hina?”

“R-right,” Asahina looks between Kirigiri and Byakuya, then at Makoto, and seems to hesitate for a moment. “Um, so…last night, I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d go to the kitchen to get food. But on the way there, I heard something coming from the bathhouse - like, a weird, machine-y kind of sound? - and when I went in…”

She peters off. He raises an eyebrow, “And?”

“Uh, it’s going to sound a little ridiculous...”

“You act like nothing else is ridiculous about this situation. Get on with it.”

Her face flushes dark, embarrassed. He gets the feeling that Ogami is glaring at him, but since he can’t see it - and has no reason to act like he can see it, anyways - he ignores it easily.

“Right. I saw a ghost - I know it was a ghost,” She adds defensively, as Byakuya was preparing to scoff and roll his eyes. “It was glowing green and floating in front of the lockers, and…and it had Chihiro’s face.”

“That’s-” not a ghost, he’s about to say, but he stops, suddenly uncertain. The bathhouse had no cameras, but he wasn’t sure if Alter Ego’s existence should be revealed here, now, to everyone, especially given some of the individuals present. His hand reaches into his jacket pocket, where his handbook was. “That’s…and you’re sure it was Chihiro?”

She seems taken aback by how seriously he asks that, and nods quickly. “I know it was Chihiro! It was his face and everything!” She points in front of her, at a locker less than two meters away from her eye level. The exact locker, Byakuya thinks, where Chihiro was keeping his laptop.

He wonders if Makoto was thinking this too.

“...I highly doubt the existence of ghosts,” He sighs. There was no point trying to hide it with Kirigiri around, and better to do it now than later. “Instead of being in front of the locker, I think the thing you saw was inside it.”

He turns to the locker Asahina had indicated, and moves to unlock it - before realizing he doesn’t know how. If it was unlocked by key, he didn’t have it, and if by code it was even more impossible. But Kirigiri steps forward, nudging his arm out of the way, and the locker door clicks open under her hand.

Sitting inside is the laptop, its screen dark. After a moment, it hums to life, flickering green. A round, pale shape forms, and behind him, Byakuya hears someone gasp.

“Hello,” Alter Ego says, and their voice is clearer through the computer than through Byakuya’s handbook, and sounds so similar to Chihiro’s that it’s almost jarring. “It’s nice to meet everyone!”

Hagakure shrieks, arms thrown up in fear. “A g-g-gh-!”

“It’s not a ghost,” Byakuya cuts him off sharply. “It’s a program.”

“Yes, and it looks like something Chihiro made.” Kirigiri touches the keys lightly. “This computer was the broken one from the library. And the fact that it was placed here, out of sight of the mastermind, means that it was meant for us.”

“So, this is what I saw last night…” Asahina’s tone doesn’t sound uneasy anymore, but wondering, and she raises a tentative hand as the little Chihiro in the screen waves at her. “But, what is it?”

“You just asked, ‘what is it,’ right?” Alter Ego says, almost teasingly, making her and several others jump. “The short answer is, I’m an AI program based on as much of Chihiro Fujisaki’s personality, memories, and thoughts as he managed to transcribe into data…um, but if it’s easier for you, you can call me Alter Ego. I was made to try and break through the firewall around the school’s network and to analyze the files on this computer, but it’s been taking a long time. I’m only about 25% done.”

25%? That was already more than Byakuya expected, and he feels a thin, inexplicable strum of pride.

“Crazy…hey, isn’t this crazy?” Yamada is up from his seat, and sitting as close as he can, crouching on his heels to be eye-level with the screen. “This is so- so totally sci-fi, right? Isn’t the genre wrong?” He sounds excited, overly so, and his breath is a little fevered and fast. “Hey, Chihiro! Can you hear us?”

Alter Ego doesn’t respond. Byakuya suddenly remembers the night that Chihiro was installing the application on his handbook and how Alter Ego only ever responded after the sound of keystrokes. “You have to type what you want to say in order for it to respond.”

“Move.” Yamada scurries out of Kirigiri’s way, as she drops to a crouch in front of the open locker. There’s the sound of fingers clicking over keys, and then -

“It will take me a while longer to finish analyzing everything,” Alter Ego says aloud, a little sheepishly. “I can definitely finish it though! Actually, progress is moving faster than originally predicted, so you can leave it to me!”

“My, how dependable.” Celeste remarks. “It seems that Chihiro has left us an invaluable gift, does it not?”

“It’s…pretty crazy,” Hagakure agrees, scratching his head. “Wait, uh - can Alter Ego get online? Like can we call for help from outside?”

“Hmm, probably not.” Asahina hums in thought, crossing her arms. “We’re in a bathhouse after all.”

“Then, if we take it outside of here-”

“No.” Kirigiri says flatly. “We can’t take any risks. Taking it outside might mean that the mastermind will discover it.”

“Yeah, but, I think it’s better to get help sooner than later. You know…” He pauses for a moment, tilting his head pointedly towards Owada. Throughout this whole time, the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader had been as still as a mouse, face turned downwards towards the floor. Hagakure clears his throat awkwardly. “Can’t we try it?”

There’s a sharp tap as Celeste laces her fingers, rings clicking together. “As stated earlier. We cannot take unnecessary risks. And we are not in the position to be pointlessly altruistic.” Her tone is casual, but Hagakure seems to shrink away from her, defeated.

“I…okay. Fine, sure.” He scratches at his head, then pauses. “Ah, wait a minute. Does Alter Ego, like, know…?

His question peters off, but the implication hangs over them like a heavy fog. Byakuya watches them cast uneasy glances at each other, then back to Alter Ego, as if trying to figure out who should break the news.

“It already knows.” He mutters. He’s not trying to be loud, but in the silence everyone could hear it anyways.

“...Not to say you’re lying or anything, Byakuya, but how do you…?”

Instead of answering Hagakure out loud, he reaches into his jacket pocket and withdraws the handbook, flipping it open and holding it up, screen facing them. Someone gasps.

“Yes,” Alter Ego confirms their unspoken question, and its voice echoes uncannily, doubled between the laptop and his handbook. “Master made it so I can be accessed through Byakuya’s handbook, so I could assist him with his visual impairment. I can also access the microphone function on this device, so I was able…I was able to overhear what happened”

The little, buzzing voice trails off sadly, and Byakuya suddenly feels uncomfortable, as the room grows all the more dreary. He clicks the handbook closed, suddenly irritated.

“That should explain it.“ He sighs. “Chihiro built Alter Ego to try and help find a way out of here, and at the same time gave me access so I could be self-sufficient. That’s the extent of my knowledge about it.”

He looks up and finds nearly all of them with their faces tilted towards him, and shifts, disconcerted. “What?”

“Nothing…it’s just kinda sweet that you’re, like, telling us this yourself.” Hagakure, ridiculously, sounds almost happy about this. “You never really talked to us about yourself before.”

“There’s no point in being secretive about it. Not when I was already forced to reveal it during the trial.” He sniffs. Immediately, Hagakure looks away, chagrined. From Byakuya’s periphery, he can see Makoto still facing away, his ears turning pink.

Kirigiri clears her throat. “...For the time being, it’s clear that we need to ensure Alter Ego remains a secret from the mastermind.” She says, and Byakuya watches as she types something out, a thick line of black characters. Every few keystrokes, she stops, and deletes the last word in a series of light clicks; listening closer, the sound was awkward and irregular, each press slurring into the next key. With a slight twinge of guilt, he realizes that the cause of it was her left hand - the one he had practically crushed.

After a moment’s consideration, weighing his conscience with what was at stake, he nudges her slightly with his knee. “Move. You type too slow.”

“And how would you know that?”

“I can hear it.” He replies flatly. “You type like you’re all thumbs. Move over.”

He half-expects her to stay where she is, to ignore him and continue, but to his surprise she actually complies, standing up and stepping aside. He crouches into the space she had just abandoned, sliding his hands over the keyboard until his index fingers find the tiny, tell-tale grooves of the position keys. The size and dimensions are different from his computer at home, but for a moment the feeling is so familiar that he’s almost nostalgic.

“What did you want to ask again?”

“If it has any contingency measures in place for if Monokuma - or the mastermind, or anyone suspicious - happens to find it.”

His fingers skim over the keys, clicking fluidly. A thin line of black appears at the bottom of the screen in time to his movements, but he can’t confirm if the output is accurate; judging by the way Makoto gasps behind him, and the way Hagakure whistles, he can guess that it’s more or less correct.

“Impressive,” Celeste says, in an appreciative tone. “I suppose being such an esteemed heir means you have many talents.”

He can’t tell if she’s mocking him, so he decides to ignore her, though he allows himself a small amount of smugness. He finishes typing: “Is this what you wanted to ask?”

Instead of replying, Kirigiri leans over his shoulder and clicks the ‘enter’ button. After a moment’s pause:

“Hm, to be honest, so far I’ve just been trying to be reeeally careful with when I’m active…though I guess that backfired last night, with me scaring Aoi.” Alter Ego hums in thought. “But, I do have a secret plan! If anyone comes around who I don’t recognize on my webcam…I’ll scream super loud!”

“That’s so basic!” Asahina blurts out, shocked by the simple nature of it.

“Yes, and it’s not likely to work at night.” Ogami grumbles. “The bedrooms are soundproofed.”

“Maybe we can try taking turns staying up?” Makoto suggests. “I can take the first night, I don’t mind…”

“I think such a sudden change in our patterns is likely to draw suspicion from the mastermind. Which would be rather counterproductive.” Celeste says, and Makoto ducks his head immediately. “Though, your thoughtfulness is appreciated.”

“Then it can’t be helped.” Kirigiri sighs. “I’ll leave my door open. I’m at the end of the hallway anyways, so if anything happens, I should be able to react the quickest.”

What a crazy woman. “You’d leave yourself vulnerable?” He scoffs. After all the precautions he’s seen her take, it’s hard to imagine her sacrificing herself to any degree.

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take. Besides, I’m not so helpless. I have no intention of going down without a fight.” She pauses, mouth open like she’s about to say more, before she decides against it. “Anyways. We should avoid any mention or contact with Alter Ego as much as possible, to draw as little attention as we can.”

She claps her hands sharply, a sound that makes more than one person jump, and makes Byakuya almost flinch. “For the time being…let’s disperse.”

< previous - from start - next >

[piercedmysoul]

crying screaming throwing up tearing my hair out punching the wall

[autumnala]

The dog day are over (so you better run)

summary: As Bella prepares for her wedding, she tries desperately to outrun the memory of Jake and that pesky thing tying them inextricably together.

a/n: Inspired by, and composed to the song Dog Days Are Over by Florence + the Machine (linked in case anyone wants to listen while they read, idk)

(Not usually one to post fanfic here. But this is where the Jake and Bella brain worm truly took me over again, so it seems only appropriate. Much love to all the intrepid Jake and Bells shippers out there. )

———

Jacob where have you run off to?

“What do you think of this one? Bella? Bella?”

I pulled my eyes back to Alice guiltily. She was holding up a mass of pale blue and greens and whites.

“Um flowers?”

“For the bouquet?” Alice laughs and it tinkled, lifting my heart like a hymnal.

“Um… I always liked…” Dark green like the forest, sage like the succulents in Arizona, red like the dirt there, red like his fur. Yellow as the sun…

“These will go so well with the wedding colors. You’ve always looked so great in blue.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

I’m focusing everything I can on the wedding now.

I never even wanted a wedding. But it’s what I have to focus on.

In that beautiful meadow, that perfect dream, it felt so right. I would bind myself in every way possible to Edward, because there was nothing else I could do. Our love story is fate, it’s inescapable. It’s destiny.

But now I see Jacob everywhere.

He’s running alongside my old truck, which Edward’s going to replace any day now, as I trundle along the highway.

His long, beautiful hair is disappearing around every corner just at the edge of my sight.

I’m so tired of telling you good-bye.

I love him too much - even if it wasn’t enough.

I let that string tying our two hearts together pull too tight. And now every night I’m running after him in my dreams. I wake up tired.

I can’t hold onto that though. That echoing of emotion and sense of being kindred. I just can’t let it go either. The thought of that thread breaking terrifies me in a way I cannot quite understand.

But Edward is everything. He’s the gravitational force of my life. He’s in my veins and I need him. If nothing else, I’ve learned that, haven’t I?

He’s taken me into his world, his fairytale forever.

How could I ever be sufficiently grateful for the miracle of him choosing me?

It’s all over, with Jacob, with the wolves, with walks on that grey beach, and that shabby- warm house by the sea.

Sometimes, when I’m running in my dreams, I run straight into the sea.

And Edward’s beautiful face is still in front of me, and I’m freezing and sinking.

But I remember now, too. It has to be more than a dream, because I can feel the rightness of it in my bones. Like sunlight.

Jacob’s warm hand, grasping mine. Pulling me upwards into the light. Pushing air back into my lungs.

As easy as breathing.

The dress Alice picks for me is the whitest white I’ve ever seen. Simple, which I like. Clean lines, form fitting. Fashionable, I assume. It doesn’t look like something I would choose at all. But it looks like a good dress for the kind of person Edward should marry.

Edward doesn’t come along with us on the wedding errands, on Alice’s orders, of course. And because that’s the tradition. He wants the magic of this our (first) wedding. For me, of course. I’ll appreciate it later, I know.

Jacob would have gone dress shopping with you, a traitorous voice whispers to me while I’m flipping the idly through a magazine with a hundred glossy photos of wedding things that all blur together. He would have laughed at all the ruffles you hated and told you to get something comfortable. He’d know-

I turn a page sharply, glancing as each car passes by down the street. My cereal is turning to mush next to my magazine.

What am I looking for again?

Oh, right. Hair styles. Charlie hears me sigh and I can feel him looking at me for a long moment.

We had our longest argument ever when I told him I was getting married to Edward.

Now he doesn’t say anything, but I feel him watching me as I try to project happiness.

Edward is everything I want. He’s perfect.

Jacob is in the past.

Edward is kind and understanding. Only he hates my truck, and he’s baffled when I don’t want to listen to music, even his. He wishes I’d let him replace the truck, and all my shabby things with better ones. I should appreciate that.

I forgot that it was Jacob who always knew how I worked without me telling him. Who knew things I never told anyone. I never knew how that would feel (like coming home after a long day).

But Edward loves how I always surprise him, how he doesn’t know what I’m thinking. I’m a mystery to him. The only one in the whole world. A miracle. I’ve never been a miracle before. It seems important.

Will I still be a mystery when I’m not human anymore? If he heard my thoughts, would they live up to the me that he loves?

I’m so so happy, so ready to be perfected. Finally, Edward and I will be on equal footing.

He kisses me so chastely and so sweetly - like I might shatter. And I can feel that feeling, sinking into my bones. I feel fragile and delicate and quiet now.

I glance up quickly when I hear a boisterous laugh in the market, then glance to where Edward’s face is tilted, as he looks at me, just ever so slightly, his expression mild and tender. I can feel my face flushing and a thousand expressions battling on my face. He shakes his head lightly, and guilt flashes through me.

Not Jacob. Did he know I hoped it might be Jacob, just for a second?

How can I stop looking for him though?

He’s everywhere. Around every corner. Every growl of an engine.

He’s every sunrise.

But as long as I keep moving I can forget that he’s gone. I’m moving into the future. With Edward. My perfect forever.

And Jacob and that cozy, ramshackle garage, and warm sodas, and motorcycles, and jokes about getting old are in the past. They have to be.

I’ll run so far and so fast as a vampire that that cord will surely break.

It’s what I should want, of course.

But the thought fills me with dread.

Until your heart stops beating.

“Bella? Bella?” Alice’s voice trills, exasperated.

I realize I am running my finger slowly over the little carved wolf hanging from my wrist. Petting it.

When I open my eyes, light reflecting off the diamond heart blinds me for a second.

“Sorry,” I say. My finger hasn’t moved from the little wooden figure.

I look up and Alice looks concerned, confused, hopeful. She’s only trying to help. I wish I could forget, like her. Forget my human life, forget everything but the perfect, sparkling future.

Rosalie is looking at me too, with pity. I can’t hold her eyes.

I could never be sufficiently grateful to Edward for him choosing me. I could never choose him enough to make up for everything he went through for me.

For the miracle of snatching him back when it seemed hopeless.

Vampires don’t sleep, so soon I won’t have to worry about dreaming anyway.

I wake up gasping, again, and I know immediately that Edward is there.

But he’s not the one I am chasing after in my dreams.

Despite myself I think of the spring, when I told Jacob we could run away together.

Just the two of us, driving toward the sun.

I could have saved him, my Jacob.

One day he won’t be your Jacob anymore.

I can’t bear that thought; I just can’t.

“Bella,” Edward says, still the most beautiful voice in existence, a pleasant, intoxicating anesthetic. “Why are you crying?”

I didn’t notice I was, but it’s true. Soft round teardrops are dropping onto my bedspread.

“I don’t know,” I tell him, honestly. What else can I say?

He comes to my bedside and crouches down, pushing my sleep mussed hair back from my face.

His eyes look dark to me, in my dark room. Despite the darkness, up close he is so beautiful that it makes me feel like my heart will burst, like my brain is short circuiting. I should trust this. Look how he makes (almost) everything disappear.

“Don’t be scared, my love,” he murmurs to me. His hand ghosts across my hair, gentle as a breeze. I wish he would grab me hard enough that I could feel it. Maybe that would wring these feelings from my bones for good. I lean up to kiss his mouth, trying to pull the honeyed sweetness of him into me. He kisses me back, gently and full of love, and for a moment his hands clasp my shoulders more firmly, hard enough that I feel held together. But only for a moment before he is setting me carefully back, breathing just a little harder.

When he’s kissing me everything is clear, it all makes sense, this path I’ve set myself on. My blood rushes in my ears. But when he sets me away it feels like lead is trickling into my heart. Cold molten dragging me down.

And I’ll sink too fast to swim.

Some nights I think about how he isn’t going to come the next time I fall in the dark.

I think it quietly though, hoping Edward thinks I am asleep.

Why did I never know how to love him when he was here?

One night, when Edward is gone hunting, and I can’t quite bring myself to close the window, I hear it.

A howling wolf.

Have they been howling all this time and I just haven’t heard them?

I hold up my bracelet to look at it over my head. There’s barely any moonlight to glint off of the diamond heart and without that dazzling light I look at the little wolf, head tilted back, rough edges smoothed by the stroke of my fingers.

I can see Jacob carving him in my head. His large hands were always so careful and deft, whatever he was handling. It’s a beautiful little wolf. Not flawless and unchanging, but still perfect, even as I imagine how he’ll be worn smooth by the years, how he’ll eventually turn to dust.

I can’t say what I’m thinking next. I’m not thinking anything at all when I get out of bed, throwing on any clothes I can grab.

I look at my truck for a long moment. But no. If I take the truck everyone will know…know something, it will be a decision, so instead I turn the other way and walk into the woods.

There’s no way I can walk far enough.

But I can’t think about that; I can’t decide. I never could. All I have left is this instinct and this yearning I cannot name.

So I run.

I’m not a graceful runner, I’m not fast. But I run and I run and I don’t stop. Even when my chest aches, then screams.

Everytime I hear a wolf howling I turn and run toward the sound.

It’s so dark, with only the moon overhead, and the stars.

I run until I can’t anymore, until I fall, until I see the sun peaking over the edge of the hill ahead.

I smile at that line of sunrise.

My face is wet, with tears and sweat. Probably blood.

I feel like I’ve been scoured, weak and yet relieved as if I’ve emerged from a long fever.

A large shadow looms over me.

It’d be too perfect if it was him, but I laugh up at the sight anyway. It’s Leah and she looks like she wants to bite me. But all I can feel is happiness. Incandescent joy blooming deep in my chest while I lie there laughing weakly into her golden, furry, face.

I shrug at the wolf, what can I say?

I try to stand but collapse. My legs have run as far as they can.

Leah makes a wolfish grumbling sound and sits and watches me. I fall asleep while the sun is rising and don’t dream of anything. Who knows how long.

I can’t quite come fully awake, but I feel warm arms lifting me up. Familiar arms.

I lift my eyelids for the barest moment before the fall again, fluttering against my effort to lift them.

Jacob, backlit by the sun, is more beautiful than I remember. Maybe he always was.

Not like a dream or a vision. He looks like home.

I sigh, eyes still heavy and closed.

Jacob doesn’t say anything at all.

“There you are. I was looking for you, you know.” I tell him weakly.

He snorts.

“Do you know,” I try again, forcing my eyes open to look into his face. My eyes stream at the sight but I don’t blink to clear them. “If I was going to run away with anyone, I think it’d be you too, Jake.” I think about that, watching a stormy dawn break across his face. “Only, not right now. I don’t think I can run anymore right now. Where are we?”

His smile brightens and I feel my tired mouth struggle to tilt up in response. “We’re just across the treaty line. You were looking for me by running, by yourself, at night?”

“It seemed like the thing to do at the time.”

He chokes on a laugh. Or maybe a sob. His hands tighten and then loosen again.

“You’re sure? Really sure? Because dammit Bella, I can’t…”

I think, then, for the first time in hours I search the deepest parts of my mind and heart and everything for an answer.

Inside me, where it was all frantic movement and rushing and fever it is calm now. It’s quiet.

I lean over and kiss his chest, bare of course, and blazingly warm, directly over his heart. I feel like light is filling me up. Pouring into me through this cord nothing I did could ever sever, from his heart to mine. Golden and blazing.

Jacob grins at me then, really grins, and his eyes are shining just for me.

“Until my heart stops beating,” I tell him. He starts to frown but I’m smiling so hard at him it feels like my face will crack. I can see him understand what i’m trying to say. He told me so long ago, but now it’s not an end, not a plea, it’s a promise. A beginning. “Could be a long time. And maybe even longer than that?”

“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah that sounds…it’s enough? You said…”

The sun can’t fight an eclipse he told me. But an eclipse can only hide the sun for so long. It’s the sun that remains in the end.

“It’s enough. More than enough.”

[sunlightrays]

Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters were created by and belong to Masashi Kishimoto. Yamanaka Naoki is the Original Character and property of Okami Rayne. This fanfiction is based in the Naruto fanfiction universe of the “Break to Breathe” series by Okami Rayne. ( @okamirayne )

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The Canvas Of A Life

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Summary:

Not every night can be lit up by stars. Lives fade, years pass by and some nights the sky is covered in clouds.

Looking at the north star of his life, an illuminated window, Genma thinks that maybe the lights he has left could help him chase away the darkness on the birthday of a person that’s left this world too soon.

Song to this fanfic: Rain – Sleep Token

"And just like the rain / you cast the dust into nothing / and wash out the salt from my hands"

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The sky looked just about as dark as Genma felt. The bags under his eyes were as deep as the clouds looming over him.

He huffed a weak laugh, breathy and tinged with bitterness.

Way to be dramatic, Shiranui.

Ah, but dramatic seemed to be the theme for this day.

Standing outside, he took in a deep breath of the cool air, felt it on its path down his constricting throat and heavy chest, filling his lungs. He hadn’t exactly meant to come here. Not tonight…

Hadn’t intended to stand outside of Kakashi’s apartment building. Really, he’d planned to just go to sleep, close his eyes and forget about today and what it meant.

But he hadn’t slept. Not tonight and not the night before…

Couldn’t.

Because he hadn’t been picking Kakashi’s lock and claiming his bed like he belonged there. The copy-nin had been away on a three day mission and while Genma was a self-proclaimed freeloader he preferred having witnesses to it. Made it more satisfying.

Around noon Kakashi had returned, safe and without noteworthy wounds, according to Kotetsu and Izumo.

And according to the light in his window, he was awake.

Shifting his weight from one foot to the other and grinding his teeth on cold steel, he looked up for a few more seconds before passing a hand over his face. His eyes stung. He turned to the door of the apartment complex, picked the lock and made his way up to the front door.

Quiet, quick, avoiding the steps he knew would creak.

Quick was also the work he made of the lock to Kakashi’s apartment.

Got enough practice in, hmn?

Indeed… Over the past few weeks, he’d been here more often than not.

Honestly wasn’t sure why Kakashi even bothered locking his door.

Most of his nights were spent at Kakashi’s side, pressed close on the small bed. Sometimes the air was thick with the smell of sweat, sex and shared breaths. Sometimes they were both too exhausted to do anything but sleep.

He didn’t show up every night… Missions called them away. Every so often, they crossed paths in the Jonin station, Kakashi telling him about his evening plans with his team or Gai. Some nights Genma spent on Raidō’s couch, still refusing the spare bed. Others he sat in his bedroom, pieces of paper and earrings in his hands.

But practice wasn’t the only thing he’d get if he wasn’t careful. A chakra charged fist coupled with a healthy dose of electricity wasn’t exactly what he came here for.

Kakashi should be used to Genma letting himself in by this point, Kami knows he’d done it often enough… but missions fuck with you, put you on edge. Genma knew that just as well as any shinobi.

Not wanting to startle the other ninja, he made a point of opening the door slowly, senbon tucked back between his lips. He let it catch the light of the lamp as he stepped in.

Several pairs of eyes turned to look at Genma.

Really, it only should’ve been one. One eyeball, not a pair.  A single, pretty grey one.

As it was, though, he had the full attention of eight ninken with their ears perked up and fur bristled.

A low, warning woof came from one of the ninken, laying on the floor between Kakashi’s desk and bed, canines flashing.  The copy-nin made a sharp “Shh.” and the dog’s light-brown head dropped back down onto his paws, watching Genma’s every move.

The silver-haired leader of the pack was on his bed, propped up on his elbows, mask on, eyebrows raised in askance. He didn’t seem tense, just tired, curious and a little startled.

After having closed the door behind himself, Genma leaned his back against it and gave Kakashi the once-over, gaze lingering more than necessary. He did indeed look fine.

Shit, he always looks fine.

His black sleeveless top exposed the strong arms and tattooed shoulder, the mask pulled over the face that Genma knew was pretty and the disheveled hair made it hard to look away.

But he wasn’t the only one staring. The dogs regarded him with an animal wariness, not used to his sudden intrusion.

A silver dog with spiked fur at the top of his head was stationed right at the foot of the bed, paws crossed, and head raised.

Although, at second glance… not all of them seemed too bothered by his presence.

Curled up on the left side of Kakashi’s bed was a big black bulldog, huffing a quiet sigh before dropping his head on the sheets again, heavy eyelids closing slowly. An odd feeling of jealousy washed over Genma at the sight, the senbon between his lips tipping down.

Pakkun regarded him with a skeptical look from the left side of Kakashi’s pillow, looking over bulldog’s massive head.

“Huh. Didn’t expect canine company”, Genma drawled.

He’d sort of expected to get the copy-nin alone. Not for any ulterior motives… though usually he wouldn’t pass up the chance. But he felt too raw, too tired, too real to hide what was going on beneath the surface.

He needed smart-ass remarks from a grouchy pug about as much as a kick to the shin.

“They were with me on the mission… They deserved the rest.”

Or you needed the company…

Genma shot a pointed look at Bull, occupying the side of the bed closest to the wall, forcing a smirk. “I see you replaced me already.”

Kakashi raised an brow at that. “Believe it or not, he snores less than you.”

A slow smirk. “Didn’t know big and wrinkly was your type. Could’ve told me sooner.”

Familiar humor. It eased Genma’s mind and tension a little. Hearing the breathy chuckle of the other man filled him with a warm feeling.

But one in the room didn’t seem as amused by his jokes: Pakkun huffed a deep sound that seemed suspiciously close to distaste. Granted, Genma didn’t claim to be an animal expert by any stretch - just yesterday Waif had gotten pissed off at fuck knows what and in consequence, shredded a nice new sweater. Shame, really, he liked that sweater.

Watching the man on the bed, Genma sat down on an empty spot on the bed, the mattress dipping. Shiba observed him from the floor, raising his head to sniff the air around him.

Genma drummed his fingers against the sheets, eyes focusing on a white dog hair shining in the artificial light.

“How was the mission, Hatake? All good?”

“Nothing noteworthy. Though you might be delighted to hear that I did have a rather intimate meeting with a thorny bush.”

Genma grabbed his chest in fake exasperation, but his movements felt sluggish, lacking his usual energy. “You cheat on me with bushes and replace me with dogs.” He sucked in a breath through his teeth for dramatic effect, resting his elbows on his knee, hands dangling between. Leaning forwards, he cocked his head.

“I bet I could lick you just as well.” A cheap replica of his signature scandalizing smile and velvet murmur. “And give you a few scratches too…”

Kakashi humored him with a small chuckle but not before long, a quiet settled in between them, only the sighing of Bull’s breath audible. Something was off and Kakashi seemed to notice.

Damn.

Around them, a palpable tension… emotion, a sense of wariness, the question of why Genma was here and acting like this.

The grey orb studying his form in a slow drift made Genma’s skin itch, tension skittering across, closely followed by the warmth of arousal that gaze tended to inspire.

Over the last few weeks, the intimacy between them had grown stronger, displays of affection more frequent, their connection deepening… They’d found purchase on shaky ground, navigating the new terrain.

But today, Genma had felt his foundation shake, the opening of a sinkhole he tried his hardest not to fall into, seeking out the man that steadied him.

Lost in the landscape of thought, his senbon flicked up and down between his lips and he damn near nicked his tongue with it. Jolting on the spot he cursed himself for his tic – one he’d have easily avoided any other time – and saw Kakashi’s brows draw together in a mixture of concern and confusion.

“Genma. What is going on with you today?”

Fuck it. One animal to another, he figured. Kakashi could read him… Knew him long enough, well enough. Genma knew his defenses were down, hard to keep up around other people, harder still around this man.

Still, finding the words was equally hard.

Almost hesitant, he met Kakashi’s mismatched gaze under shuttered lids, trying to hide his feelings behind a smile. He knew it came out wrong by the way the crease between Kakashi’s brows deepened.

"Take a walk with me?”

At the mention of the word ‘walk’, ears turned to him, animal eyes lit up with excitement and the dull thud-thud-thud of a hesitantly wagging tail broke the silence. Genma’s lip kicked up at the corners as he saw Biscuit looking at him, at Kakashi and back to him in what seemed like a request for permission.

Kakashi hesitated for a moment, his gaze fixed on Genma, searching…

Then he surveyed the room, studied the reactions of his ninken for a few moments before tilting his head with a mock-defeated look and shrugged his shoulders. “Looks like I’ve been outvoted.” A signature crinkle around his eyes, Genma’s heart fluttering at the sight.

Kakashi didn’t ask any questions.

He was glad for it.

Only Pakkun regarded Genma sceptically under his droopy lids. “You’ve looked at the time, pup? You woke me up for a walk?”, he rumbled, grouchy as ever.

Kakashi shot him a silencing look. “He woke me up for a walk. You can stay here, if you’re so inclined, Pakkun.”

The pug grumbled, pondered this for a moment.

Genma rose off the bed, felt restless and antsy.

As soon as Kakashi peeled the sheets back and stood, the majority of his pack got to their feet as well.

Loyal…, Genma thought. Unquestioningly. Not giving him the privacy he wanted though.

Shiba and Biscuit positioned themselves at the door, anticipation clear in their body language.

Only Bull took his time, yawning and slowly heaving his body off the – seemingly very comfortable – bed and dropping down with a heavy sound.

Pakkun stayed on the bed for a few moments longer, a disgruntled look edged into the wrinkly face.

After reaching for his hitai-ate and pulling it over his red eye, Kakashi grabbed his Jōnin vest that laid draped over the chair.

“Where do you want to go?”, he asked.

Genma shook his head. He didn’t know. Just knew he needed to walk. Knew he needed to not be alone.

His silence seemed to give him away. Kakashi crossed the room, Shiba and Biscuit making space for him, before opening the door. The ninken waited until both men had stepped out of the room. As he walked through the door, Kakashi turned off the lightswitch.

He held the door open, waited as even Bull joined them in the corridor. Waited a little more… cocked his hip against the wood, arms crossed, looking back into his now dark apartment.

Waited, waited on…

...the fast clicking of tiny nails on the floorboards, the patter of paws and a pug with head held high strutting through the door like royalty.

A royal pain in the ass., Genma thought without scorn.

Together they made their way out into the cold, cloudy night.

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Luck was a bitch; fate was a whore and grief…

Grief was a fucking sewer rat.

Genma was sure of it.

It snuck up on you, silently, gnawed with sharp and tiny teeth; chewed holes in the walls, the masks and the fragile beating muscle hidden behind. Grief tunneled through mind and memories, flesh and feelings…

It wasn’t suffering. Genma was well acquainted with that hellpit-demon.

Suffering took larger chunks, tore and ripped, leaving destruction and devastation in its wake.

Grief nibbled… nibbled on the edges of memories, left them frayed. Little reminders of what once had been. Sometimes it’d skitter off, hide somewhere deep and only come out when it felt safe…

When he felt safe.

Kakashi…

They were sitting on a fallen tree, thighs touching, looking out to an open clearing where the pack sniffed, ran and played.

I’m even starting to think like you, hn?

Eccentric.

Yeah, he was thinking alright. Thinking… and remembering. Starlit nights spent with a different man, in a different time, in a different life...

Pretty sure love did this to him. Bright and beautiful shades stealing in again with every smile and every kiss. Making him feel, think… wax lyrical shit.

Things he thought long buried under the wreckage of his life.

But life had changed its artistry after he’d stopped trying to burn down the canvas. It painted in every color available in the goddamn palette: brilliant, happy, gloomy, dark, every stroke evoking emotions too long denied; the colors dulled by maturity, now that he was older, wiser, more experienced.

And he was glad for it. Glad that he hadn’t burnt the entirety of his synapses and bridges. Glad that people stuck with him, even when he was at his worst…

I didn’t deserve it.

A sigh left his lips, loud into the chilly night.

Kakashi gave him a sidelong glance, grey eye piercing almost as intensely as his bright-red one.

He gave the other man a tight lipped smile, avoiding his gaze, wasn’t sure he could stand what was written in those eyes with his own walls laying crumbled at this feet.

Kakashi’s soft looks had a way of reminding him of a time where people, lovers, had left and he’d stayed behind.

That's in the past…

Not the first time that thought had crossed his mind. Likely not the last either.

He wasn’t living in it anymore but he’d been marked by it.

Marked by all the memories he had made… God, the memories.

How many could he even recall?

So many were hidden, blurry behind a chemical haze, pink pills and shōchū burning in a different way now… Leaving him mourning more than lost lovers.

Few moments were clear in his mind. One of them was the night he and Kakashi had shared their first kiss and a lot more than that…

That kiss… That fucking kiss. It had framed and hung itself on the walls of his inner mind. All by itself, that damn thing had a life on its own. Must have hands too by the way it had his heart in a deathgrip. Maybe it’d taken some inspiration from him, moving in and refusing to pay rent.

That kiss and the words that had accompanied it rang through Genma’s mind.

“You’re not that man… and I’ll tell you why. Cause I’d never do this with Kaika.”

Not that man…

Yeah. He felt different now, seeing those fragile moments of memory, illuminated in the light of the present.

A time where names were carved in stone, spintops had lost their momentum and the minutes still ticked by. Floated away like the dark clouds above their heads, taking away the days, years…

A rustling startled him out of his thoughts.

His eyes narrowed in the direction.

Damn…

Out of the shrubs trotted an auburn-colored dog – Ūhei, as Genma had learned at some point – carrying a stick that was about as long as the animal itself.

Genma turned his head to Kakashi, an amused quirk to his lips. “Looks like it’s time for fetch.”

“Looks like it.” Kakashi nodded his head in the direction of the dog and as Genma looked back to it, the canine dropped the stick unceremoniously in front of his feet.

“Have fun.”

Genma stared at the dog and his slowly wagging tail.

“Hn.”

The animal touched his nose to the stick, looked at Genma again, dark eyes shiny and pleading. Genma raised his brows in a 'not happening'-look.

Either the dog couldn’t tell or simply didn’t give a shit because he didn’t budge.

At that, Genma turned to Kakashi, figured the dog was his responsibility after all.

Sensing his look, the copy-nin hummed, made to grab the stick which Ūhei promptly snatched away from Kakashi’s reaching hands. “See?”

“Stubborn…”, Genma murmured, tipping his senbon to the side, leaning down and holding his hand out.

“He can do this all night.”

“I’d rather do something else all night and it sure as hell doesn’t include dogs…”

“You were the one wanting to take a walk.”

Genma couldn’t argue that. Didn’t attempt to, either.

Ūhei dropped the stick in Genma’s hand, providing a welcome distraction from the conversation. Tail wagging, he made a half turn, body tilted to the front, eyes fixed on the wood.

Genma feigned a throw, watching the dog twitch on the spot.

He lifted the stick and chucked it, smiled faintly as the auburn colored ninken sprinted and caught it mid-air.

Trotting back proudly, Ūhei dropped the saliva-covered stick in front of Genma’s feet like a well-trained lapdog, expecting another throw.

Obliging, Genma repeated the game a few times to the same effect until he noticed Kakashi looking at him from the corner of his eye.

Head resting in his palm, elbow propped on his leg, Kakashi smiled at the two of them, grey eye warm with affection.

Their gazes held, one second, two.

Kakashi said nothing and Genma’s eyes dropped to the movement just below, Kakashi’s hand stroking out and over the dog’s head. He leaned into the touch, closing his eyes. “He likes you, Genma.”

Genma had to snort at that, but it came out too soft, the tiredness eating into his voice. “And they say dogs are good judges of character.”

A soft look and silence again; Kakashi proceeded with the game of fetch, throwing the branch into the treeline, much to Ūhei’s delight.

“For the record”, came a grumbling from off to the side. Pakkun. “Don’t let it get to your head, pup. If you throw a stick, you get into Ūhei’s good books.”

Genma raised a brow at the slightly condescending pet name but before he could retort, Ūhei had already pounced on Pakkun, dragging his tongue over the wrinkly face, stick dropped beside him.

That works.

Was probably more annoying and humiliating for Pakkun than anything Genma could’ve done.

They sat in silence, after that. Genma watched the dark clouds pass by, catching glimpses of the stars behind them.

The cold breeze rustled the leaves, the dogs had settled down near them, Pakkun using Bull’s paws as a pillow, Ūhei chewing his stick, the rest in differing states of awake.

Genma leaned forwards, resting his elbows on his legs, gazing onto the clearing and the trees. The scene looked like painting material…

Too bad his artistic skills were about as good as animal handling ones.

“He was an artist. Drawings, poems… Stuff like that”, he spoke, softly.

Charcoal sketches came to mind, stashed away in the safety of his apartment. Ink on paper and on Karibi’s skin, soft strokes of watercolor capturing fragile petals, words turning empty pages to artworks.

“He’d… find beauty in fucking everything”, he went on. “Rainy days, random flowers… Shit, he even drew me sharpening kunais.”

Kakashi kept silent, palm stroking over Bulls pelt, observing the way Genma was staring off into the middle-distance, into the past.

“I never really understood, you know? How he saw the world. How he saw me.” The words seemed to just pour out now… poured like summer rain, every drop filled with warmth and melancholy, falling into the quiet night. “But I loved him for it. And then he left and I thought I’d never find peace… I thought I’d…”, his voice broke. “Never get out… But you were there and I got to see him, talk to him one last time…”

He took a deep breath in, dropping his head and passing his hands through his hair to restore his composure that had crumbled under the weight of emotion.

A sad smile as he met Kakashi’s eyes. Then, quietly… “He would’ve turned 34 today.”

Kakashi’s gaze gentled, grey eye softening with empathy and compassion. He reached out a hand, placed it on Genma’s leg, thumb kneading soothing circles. The warmth of that gesture sent a comforting wave through him, an unspoken “I’m here”. And really, that’s all Genma needed tonight.

Next to him, a grey dog settled down, sensing the mood but seemingly wanting to be close.

Genma found himself stroking the spiked fur on his head, felt the soft strands between his fingers.

Karibi would’ve liked you…

Liked? Bullshit. She would’ve fucking loved the mohawk on this thing. Probably would’ve tried to steal him, too. He chuckled at the thought of Kakashi running after the woman in an attempt to get his ninken back.

“Who’s this one?”, he asked, scratching behind an ear. The dog was leaning into his touch… so trusting… Stupid decision, really, but somehow he ended up receiving trust anyway. Raidō, Kakashi… Waif on occasion.

“His name’s Shiba… You met him before…”, Kakashi murmured, a bit reserved, an odd edge to his tone.

“I have?”

“After I let you in again… When we fought. When I told you that Naoki wasn’t…”, he trailed off there, the words and silence hanging.

A flicker of memory, senbons buried in fur.

“One dog down. One more to go.”

His own voice, ice-cold… as cold as the wave of regret that washed over him…

Well fuck.

Genma stared at his lethal hand, still resting on the dog’s head, stomach tightening. A hand that had hurt the dog in front and the man beside him.

He pulled it back, startling Shiba with the motion, curled it into a fist and pressed it against his mouth, teeth grinding on the senbon.

Fragments of that time skirted around his mind. Shit, he barely remembered. Had been too far gone. On pain, on drugs, on a red-mist rage. Fuck. Just who hadn’t he hurt?

“I-…”, he choked out, swallowing hard, the rest of the words dying in his throat.

Kakashi let out an audible breath, looking at his ninken…

Forgiveness. It came in the form of heavy head on top of his thigh. Genma flinched at the sudden warmth but Shiba just rested his head against him, unphased, unconditional.

“You don’t smell like the entire chemical lab anymore, pup”, Pakkun chirped up. “You’d be dumb to think we didn’t notice the change.”

He straightened, passed a hand across Shiba’s head.

The change… Getting better, getting clean, getting closer to Kakashi… Of course, they had noticed. His scent was plastered all over the copy-nin with the amount of sex they had.

It’s more than that…

“You feel for him in a way you haven’t felt for anyone in a long time.”

Remembering those words, that voice, that face... It’d never stop hurting. Genma knew, knew it just as well as he knew that Naoki hadn’t been wrong. His words had always hit, always had possessed the power to reach him in vital spots and they struck true often.

Dead-fucking-centre...

Always.

But the memories remained... They lived on inside him, inside his soul. Just like the will-o'-the-wisp lights guiding him out of whatever dark places he found himself in. Out of addiction, out of punishment, out of pain and penalty.

“Ghostly lights, the spirits of the dead... those aren’t the kind of lights that just go out.”

Never.

“Never. I’ll always burn for you. But now you have to live. Really live. No more seven times down bullshit. No half-life. No half-love. Promise me.”

And Genma had. God, he had. And with all the things Genma broke... objects, bones, trust... hearts... He would never break this promise.

He looked across at the silver-haired man beside him, felt the warmth radiating from him and let his hand drop back down from his mouth.

Another light.

Another love.

A guide out Tanzaku-flames and crippling addiction.

“Hatake”, he said quietly, a gentle smile on his face.

Kakashi turned his head to him at the sound of his name and hummed in question, brows raised.

Genma put his right hand on top of the copy-nins that sat on his thigh, linking their fingers.

Their gazes locked again, such a soft, affectionate look on the other man’s face and Genma could do nothing but marvel. That look… The one that had made everything so damn complicated between them. But right now, there was something else between them.

Fondness.

Empathy.

Intimacy…

Gently, slowly, Kakashi leaned in, reached up with his free hand and plucked the senbon from Genma’s lips, set it aside and kissed Genma, lips nudging gently. Genma melted into the touch, into the softness, the safety of it, tension leaving his body with a soft sigh.

Crazy how this man made him feel. His pulse tripped as their tongues touched, a kiss so breathtakingly slow that, for a moment, the entire universe focused only on them.

He felt the warm breath of the other man on his face, felt his lips ghosting over his eyelids. Genma lowered his head slightly and Kakashi pressed a kiss to his temple.

When Genma opened his eyes again, he felt a little more balanced, a little more steady than he did before. The dreaded day had come and passed, his internal clock telling him it must be shortly after midnight.

But Kami, he was tired… the exhaustion and sleep deprivation had caught up to him, turning his bones to lead. He felt like he’d run for hours and in some way, he had…

The way he felt must 've been written on his face judging by Kakashi’s next comment. “Time to go home?”, he said, raising his hand and cupping Genma’s cheek, stroking his thumb over the dark skin under Genma’s eye.

Genma turned his face into the touch, drew a deep breath before nodding against Kakashi’s hand. “Yeah. Feels like I could doze off right here…”

Kakashi smiled faintly, a small crinkle around his eyes. He stood, stretching out a hand to Genma.

A brown brow sketched up at the offering to help him up. “Ass”, he chuckled, without bite. “Next you’re gonna carry me?”

“Oh, if you insist. I’ve done it to Gai. As part of a challenge, of course. I won.”

“Mhm…” Genma stood, stretching his arms to ward off the drowsiness for a little longer.

They made their way back to Kakashi’s apartment, the pack following quietly. As Kakashi opened the door with the keys, Genma watched, an amused quirk to his lips at the rare sight.

Kakashi opened the door, husked a stern “Wait.” as Biscuit tried to squeeze past him. He stepped inside first, laid the keys on his desk. Genma squeezed past the pack waiting before the threshold, impressed with their obedience and slightly annoyed by their unwillingness to move out of his way.

After Kakashi had given them their command to come in, they wasted no time settling down on the bed and the floor around it.

“So… they’re gonna stay here, huh”, Genma questioned, although he was sure of the answer already.

“Yes, they are.”

“What was that about the taxidermist you mentioned a while ago?”

Pakkun, having settled on the right side of Kakahshi’s pillow, shot him a glare from underneath wrinkled brows.

“That was solved without having to resort to violence.”

“Right… Well. As long as I get to sleep without having to resort to violence…”

Kakashi chuckled at that. “We’ll figure it out.” And with that, he proceeded to strip off his vest and Jōnin slacks, removed his gloves and hitai-ate, setting them over his chair.

Genma followed suit, but stopped his motions as Kakashi took off his mask. Just to look… just for a few seconds before proceeding to undress to his boxer briefs. Something about the dogs being in the room made him not want to be entirely naked.

Some might call it embarrassment, Genma called it prevention of getting his balls chewed off by some canine craving a midnight snack.

Kakashi climbed into bed; the dogs had left a spot just big enough for him to fit. Training or respect, Genma didn’t know but he sure knew there was not enough space for him. He stood at the edge of the bed, eyebrows raised at the copy-nin who returned the look, propped up on his elbow, a coy look on his face.

Smug bastard.

Genma didn’t find it in him to be angry for any amount of time. Instead, he smirked, let his gaze drift over the sight on the bed. He kneeled onto the bed and, with a little athleticism, laid down on his side close to Kakashi, head in hand.

He shot a look at Pakkun, who occupied a good half of the pillow. “Care to move?”

“Is this your home?”, was the grumpy retort.

Kakashi lifted his hand, cupped the back of Genma’s head and drew him close to his chest, causing him to brace his arm against the mattress.

“Yes, it is.”

A little startled, Genma stiffened before relaxing against firm muscle and warm skin covered in the soft fabric of the turtleneck. He could feel the steady and strong heartbeat against the side of his face, felt Kakashi’s fingers gently massage his scalp.

Silently, he counted the heartbeats, comforted by the gentle rise and fall of the other ninjas chest with every breath and fell in a deep and dreamless sleep.

[disdaidal]

Whoever sent me that ask about a Billy anti, I’m only going to answer you the same thing that I’ve answered others so many times before: block them or ignore them. It’s the best way to deal with them.

I am not going to publish that ask because it gives a direct link to a post and I don’t encourage bullying anyone - even if it’s a person with a ‘bad take’.

[undeadcannibal]

can't decide whether I should finish a Graves or Alejandro fic first, ahhh

[okamirayne]

BtB Throwback… Stirring the old feels as I plod along with chapter 9 of HHU…these Hyūgas….💔

[andillwriteyouatragedy]

okay well so don't ask me how bc i truly don't know but i put over 15k more words into my ofmd big bang first draft and. finished the first draft

still so SO much editing to be done but my first draft of the ofmd big bang is OFFICIALLY completed and i am EXTREMELY excited

[snoopyearss]

When jjk characters call you “clingy” pt. 2

Feat. crybaby-ish!reader

Gojo, Geto, Toji

I’m sorry it took so long! I triiiied to make them as realistic as possible based off of their characters so pls don’t bite my head off if it’s not accurate omg it’s call fanfiction for a reason

Part 1 if you missed it!

Satoru Gojo

Guilt and shame filled his body after that little interaction. He didn’t even know where that behavior came from. All he knew was that it was a shameful thing to do. The meeting didn’t go well, and he took it out on you. He felt disgusting. Now all he can hear is the clanging of pots and pans along with the smell of a familiar dish.

His favorite meal.

It made his heart feel heavy. Here he is practically cursing at you and calling you ‘clingy’ while you’re in the kitchen cooking his favorite meal. You didn’t even have to, you could’ve made him order takeout for pulling a stunt like that. But you didn’t. And the fact that you didn’t, hurt him even more. Satoru stepped out of the shower and quickly put on some more comfortable clothes so he could go and apologize to you.

He walked out of your shared bedroom to only one plate by the table with food on it. He presumed it was his. But what he didn’t see was your plate. You both always ate together, “so why didn’t she place both plates on the table?” He thought to himself. He looked around to see where you had possibly gone. He turned to his left when he heard you sneeze. There you were, sitting on the balcony with a fluffy blanket over you, staring at the city before you.

He smiled softly as he admired you so snuggled up against the mini sofa. His eyes traveled to your face filled with sadness, you were sniffling as you wiped away excess tears. His smile dropped and it finally hit him as to why you didn’t set your plate at the table. He knew he had to make things right.

He made his way toward the sliding door, giving you an apologetic smile as he looked into your teary, red eyes. My poor baby.

“Hey, sweetheart,” He says softly and has a seat on the ottoman in front of you. “Hey,” Now it’s you who doesn’t greet him back with a pet name. He notices. “I looked on the table and noticed only one plate. Did you eat already?”

“Wasn’t hungry.” You mumbled. Satoru sighed quietly in response. He knew you didn’t want to eat with him. “Baby, I’m so sorry,” He started. “I’m so sorry for snapping at you and for calling you clingy. Today wasn’t the best day and for some stupid reason, I took that out on you. You didn’t deserve that, you were only just trying to help. It breaks my heart to see you this upset and have it be because of me. I'm so sorry my love.”

You took a deep breath before speaking. “I didn’t mean to annoy you,” Your bottom lip slightly quivering. He got up from the ottoman and sat down next to you. “Hey, no..baby,” He cooed as he scooped you up and placed you on his lap. “You could never annoy me, sweetheart. I love you so much and I never want you to think that I don’t.” He reassured as you softly cried in his chest. He then kissed your forehead and rubbed your back, repeating the phrases “I’m so sorry” and “I love you so much”.

Eventually, you calmed down and you both were just staring at the brightly lit city. “How’re ya feeling sweetheart? Feeling any better?” He tilted his head to the side to look at you, very comfortable in his lap. You nodded yes and he kissed you on your temple. “Would you like to eat dinner together?” You nodded in response. “Ok, good because I want us to eat dinner together.” He chuckled.

He knew that you were a bit sensitive, and it would take a few hours for your mood to change. So to make it up to you, he called off work and took you on a shopping spree the next day.

Suguru Geto

Suguru ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He knew he had to make things right, especially since you left everyone to run away with him too. Suguru put himself in your shoes for a second. You left your family and friends as well. He couldn’t imagine what you must be going through and it made his chest ache.

“Mr. Geto, where did Y/n go? We wanted to give her a present!” They ran up to him and Nanako opened her hands to show him a flower crown. “Do you think she’ll like it? She taught us how!” She softly asked. He looked at the gift they made and smiled softly. “Of course, she would love it.” he held his hand out for the gift. “It’s lovely, girls.” She giggled in response. “You should give it to her! We made it to cheer her up!”

“Cheer her up?” Suguru frowned. Did they hear your mini-argument? Did they see how you stormed off? He was confused. “Yeah! She seems a bit sad. When she took us to the mall today, she was super quiet.” Their response made him feel worse. “Let me talk to her.” He got up from his seat. Before he was able to walk back in, Mimiko tugged on his shirt. “Don’t forget our present!” She reminded him. “Of course, how could I forget?”

He knocked on the door to your shared bedroom and saw you wrapped up under the comforter. You back was facing the door so you didn’t see when he walked in. “Honey,” he softly said. “Can we talk?”

“So now you wanna talk? I thought I was bein’ clingy.” You scoffed and pulled the comforter over your head. You heard his footsteps get closer to where you were lying and felt a dip in the bed. “Y/n, I’m sorry angel. I’m just so frustrated with everything at the moment and I didn’t mean to say those things. It wasn’t my intention to yell at you, baby.” He said rubbing your thigh. You remained silent for a bit. “You know,” You removed the comforter from your face and sat up. “I left my family and friends too. We all did. I understand your frustration, but you aren’t the only one struggling, Sugu.”

“I know, I’m so sorry baby,” He pulled you into him and wiped your tears. “I couldn't be more glad that you came with me. I love you so much.”

“I love you too.” You both sat in silence for a while.

“You make a great mother for the girls too. I see how they react to you. They love you so much.” He pointed out. “Really?” You sat up in amusement. “Of course! They even made you a gift,” He handed you the flower crown they made for you. “This is so sweet,” Tears began to well up in your eyes again. “They told me you taught them how to make it. You’re way better at this parenting think than I am. But I wouldn’t have made it this far without you.” You smiled in response. “You gotta make it up to me though. You know that right?”

“Of course I do. Anything for my favorite person.”

Toji Fushiguro

Toji has never yelled at you before so it made you jump a bit. Your legs feeling like jello as you walk to baby Megumi’s room to see what was the matter. You wiped your tears from your cheeks before greeting the tiny baby. “Hey ‘gumi, what’s the matter?” You cooed as you picked him up from his crib. “Aw, were you awoken by the noise? It’s okay, my love.” You held him and checked his diaper just in case.

“It’s been a while since you last ate. How ‘bout we give you a bottle hm?” You prepared his bottle and sat with him in the rocking chair. You tested the bottle on your hand before feeding him. A few seconds passed and you heard heavy footsteps walk to the door. “Y/n,” Toji called out, not wanting to startle Megumi anymore. “Toji.”

He sighed at your choice of response. He knew he really fucked up if you resulted to being petty and giving one sentence responses. “Baby-”

“I’m not doing this with you right now. Not in front of him.” You interrupted him, placing Megumi to lean against your chest and burp him. You both waited for him to swiftly fall back asleep before addressing the slight tension between you two.

“I didn’t mean to snap at you like that. I was just-“

“Really frustrated?” You cut him off. “Don’t act like that baby. You know I’m not good at this whole..apologizing thing.” He scratched the back of his neck.

You said nothing.

“C’mere little girl,” he opened his bear arms and like a magnet you attached yourself to his big frame.

“If I ever yell at you like that again, take my gun and shoot me.”

TAG LIST: @hikachipsz @dontxevenxask @dianexo-v @chilichopsticks @koko-1025 @stevenknightmarc @ladyaggaga @satoreo @queenmimis @constawrites @satorugirlie @bluechocolatemint @teenagedreamlandstudent @dvc4 @yanjunify @ressespearlz @nxxun-blog @yinyinyinyinyinyin @honoredalone @iheartlinds @lwyourx

[moonlightspencie]

darling, i fancy you

Description: James Potter is in his second year of university. He's with his friends, having the time of his life! His only problem... a horrible, evil, beautiful, wonderful girl who doesn't seem to return the feelings he's developing for her. His dramatics and flirtatious antics usually work. He just can't quite figure out how to hook this girl.

Pairing: James Potter x Reader

Warnings: drinking, idiots to lovers, reader is described as american in one line because what is fanfiction if not a bit of self-service on occasion

Word Count: 8.2k

Coming into his second year of university was supposed to be fun. He was no longer jittery or nervous about classes since he’d already been there and done that for a full year. Besides, he was James Potter. Of course he had gotten down the routines like they were nothing to him. It was easy as pie. Now, as he brimming with confidence, he was looking forward to seeing old friends, and meeting new ones. It seemed bright and exciting: and it was, so far! 

Until his second day.

James walked into his final Thursday afternoon class and sat in a seat near the front. He might enjoy goofing off here and there, but he’d be damned if he was going to do any less than stellar in his classes. The class filled fairly quickly, seats being taken all around him. He barely noticed when a girl sat in the seat next to him as he pulled out a notebook and a pen. Until he turned with a small smile that melted off his face as quickly as it arrived. 

“Great,” he grumbled under his breath. 

She looked in the direction of the utterance curiously, blissfully unaware that one of the last few open seats, and the one she just had to choose, was right next to James Potter. 

“Perfect,” she muttered bitterly, shaking her head. “I suppose you’re going to try to get me to convince my roommate to fall in love with you again, yeah?”

“Not after last time.”

She scoffed a laugh. “Oh, yeah? Why’s that?”

“Because you’re selfish and don’t care about the happiness and general wellbeing of others.”

“Right. As if your happiness should be my number one priority,” she rolled her eyes. “You’re insufferable.”

James turned his head to her abruptly, feeling quite put off that she’d say such a thing. Him, insufferable? He thought it might do her some good to do a bit of self reflection, and had told her as much last year. It didn’t do any good, obviously, considering she was still just as irritating as ever. 

“She’s dating someone anyway. So you’re out of luck,” she said, seeming quite pleased with herself. 

James was annoyed again. “Dating someone? Great. That could’ve been me if you weren’t so horrible, and now I’ve got to wait until they inevitably break up to—”

“She’s dating a girl, so good luck with that plan of yours, Potter.”

James blinked in surprise. He supposed he never exactly saw Lily with a boy before. But… But he liked her so she couldn’t possibly be interested in girls. What a silly notion, he thought. 

“You’re sure?”

She stared at him for a moment. “Uh… yeah. Pretty sure.”

James hummed in thought. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I didn’t know until summer,” she shrugged. “She came out to me shortly before she told me she’d been asked out by her current girlfriend.”

“How odd.”

“Excuse me?” she asked, looking at him with a bewildered expression. 

His eyes widened. “No! Not like that. I just… I didn’t realize. I just assumed—”

“Careful how you phrase things, maybe,” she said, looking at him a little suspiciously. 

He nodded quickly. “Right.”

He fell silent for a moment. A few blissful seconds that she basked in. Until he opened his mouth again.

“I just…” he said, then sighed. He thought for a couple seconds. “I don’t think I’ve ever not been able to win someone over before. And this seems pretty bleak for me, doesn’t it?” 

She snorted a laugh, nodding. “Yeah. More than bleak, I’d say.”

James smiled a little, then internally scolded himself. There was no reason to laugh at a joke a girl like her made. How terrible. He was better than that. He straightened in his seat, determined to ignore her now that he really had no use for her with his precious Lily too far out of reach for even him to pull in, all things considered. He pouted for a bit, feeling terribly sorry for himself as the class started. He took his notes, of course, but not without sighing every five minutes or so. 

“Can you cut that out?” 

James looked offended again, glancing at the girl. 

“Cut what out?” he whispered back. 

“The constant sighing. It’s irritating.”

“I’m upset.”

She rolled her eyes, going back to taking notes. He fell silent, but only for a few seconds. 

“You try finding out the girl you’re in love with is gay.”

“For me, that would actually work out.”

James rolled his eyes. “You know what I mean.”

“Get over it,” she said after a beat. 

He glared at her, then went back to his notes. Again, really only for a few seconds. 

“Wait. Are you gay, too?”

“So what if I am? That’s not really your business, is it?” 

“I— Maybe not. But I’m curious,” James said, looking at her. 

“Stop talking.”

“I just wanna know.”

“You sound like a child,” she sighed, exasperated. “You’re distracting me.”

James gave her one more sour look before turning back to his notes. He was feeling quite annoyed now. Maybe it wasn’t necessarily ‘his business’ what her sexuality was, but he couldn’t help but be curious. Why was that his fault? He couldn’t quite figure it out. He waited until the class ended this time to turn to her again. 

“I don’t mean to intrude—”

“I’m sure you will, though,” she stated. 

James sighed. “You’re so difficult. I’m only curious. I don’t mean anything by it.”

She huffed a breath, then looked at him straight on. He raised his brows in question, hoping she might answer if he tried looking innocent enough. She shook her head. 

“It’s a bit of a rude question, you know?”

“How?” he asked, feeling a little offended. 

“It’s personal.”

“Well I—“ James started to argue, though his voice died. His eye twitched slightly as he thought about it for a few seconds. “Okay. I guess… I guess that makes sense. I just thought it was, like, knowing your hair color or something like that.”

“Personally, it’s something I usually only discuss with my friends. Not with a strange boy who I’ve only spoken to when he decided he liked my roommate.”

“That’s mean.”

“We aren’t friends.”

“It’s still mean,” James said, standing up with his bag. 

She did the same. 

“It’s honest.”

James pouted a little. “I’m only trying to make conversation.”

She looked at him for a moment, and he looked right back, his hand on the strap of his bag. He quirked a brow when she was silent for a second. 

“I’ll see you around,” she said at last, not unkindly, but definitely not in a friendly manner. 

Of course, James had to relay this ridiculous interaction to his roommates when he got back to his flat. He sprawled out on the couch, his hand flipping off the side to touch the floor and his cheek pressed against the cushions. 

“She’s evil. There’s something in her that isn’t right. I’m sure of it.”

Sirius furrowed his brow. He’d been hearing about James’s plights with this woman since last year. It always seemed that his buttons got pushed so easily by her, and Sirius couldn’t help but wonder how on earth James kept getting himself into these situations

He sighed softly, leaning back into the armchair to the left of James, a hand running through his long, dark hair before settling over his face.

 “You’ve been dramatic plenty of times before, Prongs, but this might be a new height you’ve climbed to,” Sirius said, his voice slightly muffled through his hand. 

“Mm. Not quite evil to keep that sort of thing to yourself. I don’t run around campus advertising that I’m queer,” Remus added, walking into the living room with a cup of tea. 

Remus settled on the ground near Sirius’s chair, leaning his back into the arm of it as he stretched his long legs out. He did plan on doing so on the couch, but it seemed that James had beaten him to it with his dramatics. 

“That’s not what I mean,” James groans. “It’s how she acted. I don’t care if she keeps that to herself, but she didn’t have to be so mean to me. It’s like she delights in making me feel stupid.”

Peter laughed from the chair across the way from Sirius’s. “It’s not always hard to do.”

James scowled at the boy, but before he could say something back, Sirius sighed loudly. 

“James. Just back off of the girl.”

James turned to Sirius. “What do you mean?”

“If you ignore her, she’ll ignore you.”

“How do you know?”

“Because she probably finds you just as irritating as you find her,” Remus says pointedly. 

“You guys are supposed to be on my side,” James says.

His friends all exchange a look, then stare back at him. 

Sirius leans forward on his chair to come to eye-level with James. 

“James. You are like a brother to me. I love you dearly. But leave the poor girl alone before she hits you.”

James buried his face in the couch cushion and groaned loudly in protest. Maybe they were right, but he didn’t have to like it. He knew he was being dramatic and probably a bit annoying, but he couldn’t help it. He hadn’t met someone who got under his skin so easily in a long time, and he didn’t like it. After a few minutes, he lifted his head, looking at his friends. He didn’t like to upset them, and he was afraid if he kept this up, that he might do just that. 

“You guys want to go get dinner on me?” he offered. 

They smiled, Sirius in particular shaking his head at his friend in amusement. James felt a little better then as he scrambled off the couch. 

James’s first encounter with the girl of his dreams, who he begrudgingly accepted no longer could be, happened a few days later. He walked into a café just off of campus to get a little fuel for his first essay of the semester when he saw a familiar head of red hair. His first instinct, of course, was to rush her with a smile and that classic Potter-charm of his… but then he deflated. 

There she was: the wretched girl who had stolen his dear Lily from him. He looked sour for a moment, then sighed, shrugging it off internally. He supposed that he couldn’t really be mad since he wasn’t also a girl, so Lily wouldn’t like him no matter what. 

But if he was, he was determined he’d be very upset about the whole ordeal. 

He sat down at a table across the small coffee shop, inadvertently staring at Lily and her girlfriend. He had to admit: the girl she was dating was very pretty. And they did seem happy together. But it was still a little bit annoying. He hardly paid attention to someone approaching with his drink until he heard an unfortunately-familiar voice. 

“I would tell you that a picture would last longer, but I don’t think I can condone borderline-stalking my roommate,” the girl said, setting his latte down in front of him. 

He looked up at her in a bit of surprise. She just seemed to pop up everywhere. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked. 

She looked down at her apron, then back at him with a puzzled expression. 

“I— I work here?” she stated, shaking her head a bit. “Thought you may have gathered that from me bringing you your drink and wearing an apron.” 

He deadpanned, unamused. “I just didn’t expect to see you here is all. It’s like you’re everywhere.”

“It’s been like a week and half and we’ve seen each other twice,” she said, huffing a breath at his dramatics. “Anyway. Is there anything else you need, besides maybe a magazine or a blindfold?”

“Why would I need those?” he asked, immediately annoyed. 

She pointedly looked at Lily and her girlfriend, then back at James. He made a face of realization, then chuckled a little despite his better judgment. 

“Oh. No. I’ll stop staring, I’m just…”

She paused waiting for him to finish, but it didn’t seem like he was going to. She nodded slowly after a beat.

“Well… it’s been a pleasure as always.”

James nodded, but then he leaned forward to grab her wrist. “Wait.”

She turned around, giving him a look that told him to let go immediately. 

“Sorry,” he said quickly, dropping her wrist. “Just wanted to ask if you got that western civilization assignment done for tomorrow.” 

“Tomorrow? Tomorrow is Tuesday.”

He raised a brow. “Yeah. It’s a Tuesday-Thursday class.”

She paused, looking a little lost. “What?”

“It’s on Tuesday and Thursday evenings. The assignment is supposed to be done for tomorrow’s class.”

“You’re joking.”

James shook his head. “No. Why would I be?”

“Shit,” she sighed heavily, throwing her head back. “How hard is it to do?”

“Not hard, but it took some time.”

She groaned. “God, I feel so stupid.”

“You’re not stupid. Just forgetful, obviously,” James laughed. 

She did not look amused. “Right. Well… Fuck. Thanks for the heads up, then.”

James looked quite pleased with himself. He actually got a ‘thank you’ out of her. He nodded quickly. 

“What would you do without me?” he smirked.

She glanced at him, looking somehow even more unimpressed. James didn’t like that look. 

“I’d have missed one class. Don’t give yourself too much credit.”

James watched her walk off, feeling annoyed once again. It’s like she couldn’t help but ruin his mood every time they talked. He sipped his latte, and suddenly felt more irritated: this might have been one of the best latte’s he’d ever had, and she just had to work there. Great. 

He kept his eyes on the girl as she walked back behind the counter, getting started on whatever task came next for her. She seemed to be making some kind of drink. He watched her as she flitted around back there easily, taking note of the way she’d occasionally scrunch her nose in a weak attempt to adjust her glasses as her hands were full. He took in every detail of her outfit that he could see from the other side of the counter: a simple black t-shirt and jeans that looked annoyingly good on her. Like it wasn’t enough to be irritating all the time, she had to be pretty, too. How was he supposed to just ignore her completely? He scoffed to himself at Sirius’s stupid advice as he sipped at his drink again.

That same thought snuck into his head as she walked into class the next day, dropping into that same seat right next to him. He took note of her slightly messy hair, and the crewneck sweatshirt that hung on her a little loosely. He looked at her nails as she pulled out her laptop, smiling a little at the baby blue that was painted on them. He liked blue quite a lot. He was in the middle of looking at the minimal makeup on her face, especially the gloss on her lips, when she just had to interrupt him.

“What are you doing?” she asked, looking at him as if he’d grown a second head.

“None of your business,” he replied quite defensively.

“You’re staring at me. It feels like my business, Potter.”

He rolled his eyes. Why did she always have to be so difficult? It’s like she had fun making him feel like an idiot.

“I wasn’t staring. I was observing.”

She sighed, softly, shaking her head as she went back about her business, logging into her laptop. He tried really hard to remember what Sirius had told him and just ignore her as well as he could, but it wasn’t exactly his fault that she had a photo of herself and some guy on her computer.

“I thought you were gay?” he said curiously.

She turned her head to him slowly, and if he thought she looked at him like he was stupid before, it was nothing compared to how she looked now.

“What?” 

“I thought you said you were gay,” he clarified, though it made nothing clearer for her. He pointed at her laptop background, “but, there’s a boy with you on your computer.”

“I never said I was gay. I said it wasn’t your business if I was or not.”

“But you must not be if you have a boyfriend.”

“Ugh,” she groaned. “That’s my brother, nosey. And I’m not gay.”

“Thought you said that wasn’t my business?”

“I’m going to slap you.”

“That’s what Sirius said,” James replied, though it was mostly to himself.

She snorted once. “Your friends are telling you you’re gonna get hit by someone?”

“By you,” he corrected.

Now, this piqued her interest. She looked at him curiously.

“Your friends tell you that I am going to slap you? Why?”

“I told them we don’t really get along. Sirius thinks I should just ignore you.”

“You’re doing a shit job of it,” she laughed a little.

He wanted to be annoyed, but he couldn’t help but smile a bit back at her. She had a nice laugh. He thought to himself that maybe he’d like to hear it more. It would certainly be better than the grating sound of her always being annoyed with him.

“Can’t help it if I’m curious.”

“You can help if you’re peering over my shoulder at my personal laptop.”

“I’d hardly call it peering. Plus you have a large screen, it’s easy to see.”

She cracked another small smile against her better judgment, and decided on ignoring him the rest of the class. It didn’t work. At all.

“So…” James started up when the professor decided on padding the rest of the class time with an ‘opportunity’ to get a headstart on the next assignment. “Did you end up finishing that assignment that was due today.”

“Clearly.”

James furrowed his brow. “Huh? How is that clear?”

“I’m a mess. I look like I just rolled out of bed, because I practically did in order to finish the assignment today before the rest of my classes. I haven’t even been in my apartment since like eight this morning.”

James still looked on in a bit of confusion, glancing over at her again, taking in her appearance. Sure, she wasn’t extremely put together, but she still looked pretty. James, ever the one to speak exactly what’s on his mind, decided on telling her that.

“I think you look really pretty today.”

She swallowed once, looking at him in a moment of mild shock. She usually wasn’t one to clam up around anyone, but she certainly was now, and James took notice.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything…”

“No. No, it isn’t that. I just…” she trailed off, then shook her head. “Nevermind. Just… work on your assignment. It’s what we’re meant to be doing anyways.”

“Oh. Right. Sorry,” James nodded, feeling a little bad now that he’d apparently made her uncomfortable.

Though, as much as it was a sense of discomfort that she felt at his compliment, there was also much more to it. Not that she would ever tell him that. No, it was much worse than the normal annoyance she felt for the boy when he looked her up and down and gave her that sweet smile. It was terrible and evil and made her face a bit warm. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, his cheek smushed in his hand nearly making her smile being all the more evidence: she was developing a crush on James Potter.

James was in the process of waking up on a cold Saturday morning in early October. Usually he’d be able to pull himself out of bed somewhat easily, only really needing a good shower to get his blood pumping for the day ahead. The ‘process’ part came into play as a rare, true hangover made him feel both dizzy and like a rock stuck in bed. 

He wasn’t a stranger to a late night of drinking with his friends, or a party here and there while he was at school. Even in his highschool days, he would sometimes sneak out from under his parents’ watchful eyes with Sirius to go live it up for a night. But it rarely resulted in an actual hangover. Sometimes a headache, occasionally he’d throw up before bed, but this? This was hell on earth. He was convinced. It certainly didn’t help that he hardly remembered past drink number seven the night prior. He decided on not letting the frat boys fill his cup anymore.

After an hour of laying in bed, he finally decided that it might be time to at least try to join the world of the living. He rolled off of his mattress, shuffling into the bathroom to take a cool shower. He effectively did as much, only having to bend over the toilet bowl to empty his stomach twice! He was quite proud of himself for that, considering he felt nauseous the entirety of the shower. He stumbled back into his room, haphazardly drying off his body and hair before slipping into a sweater, jeans, and a warm coat. He slipped on his boots, grabbed his keys, and walked out the front door. He thought that maybe his favorite cafe would have something to lift his spirits and fill his now-empty stomach. He also thought that maybe a certain girl might be working. That would definitely lift his spirits.

He walked into the cafe around 11am, finding it surprisingly empty for a Saturday afternoon. He had started making a habit of visiting the place probably more often than he needed to. He knew the usual flow at this point.

He frowned when his favorite table was taken, and ended up dropping into a seat near the back by a window after he had ordered. He sat his order number marker on the table, and waited for a familiar face to show. He started to smile when he saw his coffee and a chocolate pastry being set in front of him, but it dropped as he looked up to see a less familiar man. He thanked him anyway, despite the fact that he was quite disappointed. He picked at his pastry, and sipped his drink, letting the carbs and caffeine make him feel a bit like a human being again after such a rough night. He decided to stick around for a while after he finished both, just sitting and thinking. He always liked being alone with his thoughts, but they seemed to flow a little better with the hum of something in the background. A cafe full of people did the trick for the day. After an hour or so of staring out the window, he decided he could use another cup of coffee.

He went to wait to order behind a small line of people, fiddling on his phone until he was finally called up to order next. A smile grew on his face when he saw who was taking orders now.

“Hi!” he said to her cheerily.

“Oh. James. Hi,” she said, a little surprised to see him. “What can I get you?”

“You weren’t here earlier. I got here a little past 11, and some guy brought me my drink.”

“Yeah. I just got in at 12. So… what do you want to drink?”

James ignored her question with another smile. “How long are you working today? Don’t you normally come in earlier?”

“Five hour shift today,” she said with a small sigh. “I just didn’t start early this time.”

“Oh. Well, it’s good you’re here now. I’d have hated to admit that I might have missed you when I saw you in class on Tuesday.”

She fought a smile at that, determined to remain irritated at him.

“Are you going to order? You’re kind of holding up the line.”

“Right!” he exclaimed suddenly, looking up at the menu as if he didn’t get the same thing every time.

“Do you just want your usual?”

James stilled at that. She knew his normal order? He smiled a bit to himself, trying not to seem too delighted at that fact. But he shook his head quickly, even though that’s exactly what he planned on getting.

“What’s your favorite drink?”

“I like the lavender oatmilk latte.”

“Lavender? In coffee?” He made a sour face.

“James,” she said, somewhat shortly as he dawdled. 

“I’ll have one of those, then.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah. But if it’s gross, I’m blaming you.”

She smirked a little as she shook her head, typing in the order.

“Alright. It’s in,” she said, nodding to the side for him to get out of the way. 

“But I didn’t pay.”

“It’s on me,” she replied. But, she continued before he could think it was too sweet, “It’ll get you out of the way faster.” 

He nodded, giving her a thanks with a shy smile. He went back to his seat, expecting that same wretched boy to come back out instead of her with his drink. Though it certainly took a long time for him to do so. Just as James was looking over his shoulder to see what was taking so long, he saw that same familiar face coming towards him with a mug of coffee. He smiled up at her as she set down the mug.

“I thought you were on the register.”

“I was.”

“But you just had to come see me, right?”

She scoffed a laugh, rolling her eyes. “Enough out of you. I came to ask about the test on Tuesday.”

“Oh?” he asked, looking down into the coffee she brought. It didn’t look gross, at the very least, but he still wasn’t sure about lavender in his coffee.

“I can’t find my notes from two weeks ago anywhere. Do you think I could borrow yours by any chance?”

“You want to borrow my notes?”

“You can be an idiot sometimes, but you’re not stupid. Unfortunately, you are actually really smart under that…” she gestures vaguely at him. “You know. Your whole vibe.”

“Hey!” he exclaimed, pouting a little.

“It’s a compliment.”

“Still mean. I thought you Americans were supposed to be nice.”

“I think you’re thinking of Canada, but I mean it in a nice way.”

He huffed a small sigh, tilting his head as he looked up at her. She tried not to look at him for too long, sure she’d start grinning for real this time. Why did he have to be so handsome? And so annoying. And ridiculously charming. She merely quirked a brow at his silent tantrum, waiting for him to speak again.

“I guess. You can have my notes, but you have to come get them from me at my apartment.”

“You can’t just email them to me?”

He smiled. “Nope. I take ‘em on paper. You can come get them.”

“It would be easier to take a photo of them.”

“I want my roommates to have to meet the girl who hates me so much anyways. They’ve been dying to properly see you without me having to point you out across campus.”

“You talk about me a lot?” she asks with a little smirk, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Enough,” he smiles at her brightly. “Come on. Just humor me.”

“I don’t have your address,” she argued weakly.

He laughed a bit at that. God, she was adorable when she was being difficult.

“Give me your phone, then.”

“What for?”

“I’m going to put my address in. And my phone number so I don’t always have to try to catch you here or in class when I want to talk to you.”

“Who says I want to talk to you?”

“I think you secretly like me.”

“I think you’re annoying.”

“I think you secretly like me, even though I’m annoying. You’re trying to tell me I’m not a delight to be around?”

She sighed softly, clinging hard onto that small sliver of irritation, even if it didn’t do much good against the boy. She pulled out her phone, unlocking it and handing it over to him. She watched as he typed in all his information, and even took a cheesy little selfie for his contact photo. 

“No, no, no…” she said, trying to take her phone back when he started messaging himself.

He put out his arm with a giddy grin, blocking her from getting the phone back as he continued on his path with the other hand.

“How else was I meant to get your number?” he giggled, hitting send and handing the device back to her. “Just wanted to make sure you wouldn’t be the only one with the option to contact me. If you were the only one of us who could text, we’d never get the ball rolling on a proper friendship.”

“Maybe I don’t want to be your friend,” she snorted once, pocketing her phone again. “You’re a nuisance.”

“I’ll see you tonight then, right?” He ignored her poor insult. “To get the notes, I mean.”

She fell quiet for a moment before begrudgingly nodding. “Yeah. I’ll see you then. When will you be home?”

“For you? All day.”

She rolled her eyes again, but she couldn’t help but fight a warmth in her cheeks as she turned to get back to work.

As it turned out, much like she was suspecting, letting James put his number in her phone, and consequently exchanging numbers, was a horrific idea. It seemed that every time she went to check her phone, even if it was the middle of the night, he had something to say. Whether it be an actual message or just a strange meme he found online, he was constantly sending her texts. She was convinced he was testing out a kind of exposure therapy. That maybe, in his head, if he kept bugging her all hours of the day she would learn not to act so annoyed by him. To his merit, he was mostly right. But it helped that she was harboring a secret crush on him to begin with.

James, on the other hand, was getting non-stop reprimands from his friends. Every time he pulled his phone out and started typing, they’d groan in annoyance, knowing exactly who he was trying to talk to.

“Mate, you’ve got to lay off the poor girl,” Remus grumbled softly, his head dropping onto the back of the couch when he clocked James texting her in the middle of a movie night with the boys. 

“I just thought she might think this movie is good. I’m recommending it,” James shrugged a little, still typing away.

“She probably doesn’t care,” Peter said casually.

“Shut up, Pete,” James huffed, setting his phone down. Though he left it up to make sure he’d see exactly when she texted back. “It’s funny. She likes funny stuff.”

“You’ve got it bad, Prongs,” Sirius shook his head as he came back into the living room from his brief excursion to the bathroom. Remus pulled him right back into his lap as he came out, hugging him tightly.

James looked at them, making a disgusted face and groaning. 

“You guys aren’t allowed to talk about me when you’re always clinging onto each other like that.”

“You’re just jealous,” Sirius smirked.

“Maybe I am! I have to watch you two cuddling all the time, all in love. It’s sickening,” James crossed his arms as he looked back at the television. “I shouldn’t have to watch that and hear about how I shouldn’t text a girl I fancy.”

Remus and Sirius shared a look. Remus then set his sights on James with a raised brow.

“So you fancy her now, do you?”

“Shut up.”

“Just saying,” Remus chuckled. “When we started the school year you said she was evil. Now you fancy her.”

“She is evil. She doesn’t like me back,” James sighed dramatically, slumping in his seat. “I don’t get it. Girls loved me in high school. Then all of a sudden we’re at uni, and the first girl I like turns out to be a lesbian and the second one thinks I’m annoying.”

“Poor boy,” Sirius cooed at his dear friend jokingly. “You’ll find one soon. Maybe she just isn’t the one for you.”

“But I want her to be! It isn’t fair. She probably doesn’t like English boys at all. I bet that’s what it is.”

“What?” Remus asked incredulously.

“She’s from the States. I bet she only likes, like… farmers or surfers or something stupid.”

That earned a laugh from his friends, brushing off his dramatics as usual. James merely pouted to himself as he watched the movie until his phone buzzed next to him. He grabbed it like his life depended on it when he saw who the notification was from, smiling like a giddy child as he read the message.

“alright. thanks for the rec, I’ll check it out :)”

He giggled a little to himself. “She sent me a smiley face! You guys think that actually made her smile? I bet it did.”

His friends merely sighed, ignoring him again since he wouldn’t have listened to their response anyways as he typed away.

“Maybe we could watch it together some time! I think my friends would really like you. They didn’t get to know you well enough last time they saw you since it was only a couple of minutes. You should come over!! :)”

He sent the message, but as soon as the excitement calmed down a smidge, he sent another message.

“If you want to, of course. I don’t want to pressure you. But I do want to hang out with you. I think you’ll like me if you decided to stop hating me lol”

“Sorry, that sounded weird”

“I just mean that we could be good friends, I think. You’re funny and cool, and I’m also funny and cool. It’s like we’re made for each other haha!”

“I don’t mean it like that. You know what I mean, yeah?”

“Fuck, mate, you writing a novel over there?” Sirius laughed with wide eyes, looking at the phone in James’s hands.

“I keep fucking up and sending weird stuff,” he groaned. “Trying to do damage control.”

“Not much damage control to do when she already talks to you in person,” Sirius retorts with a smirk.

“Shove off, Pads.”

His phone buzzed again.

“right lol. maybe sometime? do you plan on talking through the whole thing though? you tend to be a motormouth, you know lmao”

He let out a breath of relief, smiling to himself again when he saw that he didn’t screw things too badly.

“I’ll be quiet during all the important parts at least. Promise!”

He waited for a moment, staring at the screen as a little text bubble popped up almost immediately.

“maybe then, yeah. i’ll let you know next time i’m getting too happy with my peace and quiet. or the next time lils and her girlfriend are making out in front of me again”

He laughed softly, ignoring the looks he was getting from the others as he texted the girl. They were all in happy relationships, they certainly were not allowed to judge him for being excited to be speaking to somebody cute.

“Might not be much better with Sirius and Remus here, but misery loves company, right?”

“Those are two of my mates you met when you picked up those notes a while back, btw. In case you forgot their names.”

“They’re dating now.”

He waited patiently, not even paying an ounce of attention to the movie still playing. Besides, if he was going to watch it with her again some time soon, who cares if he missed a bit of it?

“good for them, they’re probably super cute together. but yeah, i’ll text you next time then”

James smiled brightly.

“Great!!! I’m looking forward to it! We can order dinner and everything.”

“But not like a date.”

“Unless you wanted it to be lol. Just kidding. We don’t have to do that.”

“But I’ll still buy dinner so you don’t go hungry.”

He waited again as the speech bottle popped up, and frowned a little when it went away. Then, there was a little heart on the first message he sent about ordering in, which, to him, felt like everything. 

She was surprised with herself when she was all nerves before going to see James and his friends for that promised movie night. Though, she quickly realized that was incredibly silly.

As she got to know James’s friends, she kind of started understanding why he talked so highly of them. She adored them, and thought it was pretty funny that they always seemed a little bit lovingly exasperated with his antics. She couldn’t help but wonder if that’s how she’d start feeling about him, or if that bothersome crush would never fade into a casual friendship.

The answer seemed to come after Sirius and Remus ran off together after dinner, and Peter left to go hang out with his girlfriend. She didn't expect to find herself opening up to the Potter boy so easily about her past, nor for him to become so serious and thoughtful when talking about his own. 

She really didn’t expect for herself to say yes to hanging out with him again. And again. And again.

It’s like he somehow found his way under her skin. She knew he was capable of such a thing from how he was easily able to bug her from their first meeting. It was exasperation at first sight. But the way he charmed his way into her heart was an entirely new kind of annoying. He was all boyish smiles, silly stories, and dramatism… and it was fucking endearing.

But their tipping point came in March. 

Much to her chagrin, they had become close friends. They spent a lot of time together, and not just in the classroom or at work. She’d become friends with his friends, and James had become friends with Lily and Marlene after he finally accepted that Lily really wouldn’t ever like him. Though, realistically, he was pretty much over that the second he realized he had feelings for someone else. That slightly-grumpy, highly caffeinated, lovely, hilarious, complaining, sweet, smart, ridiculously difficult angel of a girl. 

The girl that made him embarrass himself in front of a party full of people.

He stood with Peter and his girlfriend at a table, chatting as they started sipping on freshly made drinks. James was, admittedly, probably a few too many in. But he couldn’t always exercise impeccable self-control, he decided. So, he stood there, staring at the girl from across the room as she danced with Lily’s girlfriend Marlene with a smile on his face.

“You look ridiculous staring at her like that, mate,” Peter said to James, nudging him lightly.

“I don’t know what you mean,” James snorted, pulling his eyes away from her to smirk at his friend. “Besides, I can stare at my girl all I want.”

“Only she isn’t your girl, James,” Peter reminded him.

“I’d like her to be,” James sighed dreamily, turning his head to look at her again. But this time, a frown overtook his face. 

She was now being tapped on the shoulder by some tall, terribly handsome looking guy. James’s stomach lurched a little at the sight. What did this guy think he was doing? 

He looked on for a moment as the two talked, growing more and more frustrated. He knew they weren’t together, but that was still his girl. He knew he had to take immediate action. This couldn’t just slide without consequence. James looked around the room almost frantically, trying to figure it out. How could he get all her attention on him instead of that stupid dude hanging off her shoulder?

Aha!

He pushed his cup into Peter’s hand, ignoring his friend questioning what on earth he was doing. He walked, though it was more of a drunken stumble, to the nearest table, clambering up on top of it. He cleared his throat, looking around as more and more people started looking up at him in confusion. Perfect! An audience.

He called her name over the crowd, looking at her intently until she turned to him with wide eyes, shrugging off the other guy that was still trying to get an arm around her. He smiled brightly, though she looked less than amused, shaking her head a little at him.

“I want everyone in this room, and… and everyone forever, everywhere, to know something. I am so, stupidly, madly…” he stopped as he stumbled a little, his foot slipping off of the table’s edge in front of him. “Shit!”

He crashed to the floor, scraping his hand on something on the table as he tried to stop himself from landing too hard on the ground. He winced, both from the tumble to the ground and the pain in his hand. What the hell was so sharp on that table?

“Ow,” he muttered, not even trying to get up yet, rubbing his head a little as he felt quite dizzy.

“James!”

He squinted up with a small, pained smile as her saccharine voice reached his ears as she came rushing over. He groaned a little when she dropped on her knees in front of him, trying to look at his hand. It was bleeding a little bit.

“You’re so fucking stupid,” she mumbled, but he still noticed the worry in her eyes. It made him feel good.

“I’m drunk.”

“Clearly,” she sighed softly, then stood, reaching for his opposite hand. “Come on. Let’s go get you home.”

“I didn’t finish what I wanted–”

“You need to get to bed. You’re a mess, Jamie.”

He smiled a little more at that little nickname. He loved it when she called him that. He agreed instantly to her at that point. How could he say no?

“Okay. Lead the way, mama.”

“...Don’t call me that.”

“Mm,” he shrugged, letting her help him stand up. He hung off of her, practically using her as a human crutch. “You’re so sweet to me.”

She stayed quiet, trying to bring him out of the room of people either staring or laughing at him. It was a miracle she got him home, but she did after a lengthy battle against the sidewalks and stairs. She sat him on his bed, making him stay put as she went to get disinfectant and a bandage for his hand.

He blinked slowly, looking after her with a dopey smile as she left and returned. She sat in front of him on the bed, taking his hand in hers. He barely whined at all when she cleaned off his hand, muttering something about him being a ‘clumsy, ridiculous cunt’. He thought it was cute how she could take care of him so well while still insulting him for being an absolute idiot. He reasoned that at least he would be her idiot. 

“Sorry, love,” he mumbled when she finished up with his hand. “But you’re awfully good at this stuff. Maybe I got hurt on purpose just so you’d take care of me.”

“No, you didn’t,” she said, practically force-feeding him some water. 

He swallowed. “No, I didn’t. But I could have. I like it like this.”

“You like having your hand all fucked up, and a room full of people laughing at you?”

“I like you sitting with me like this. Giving me alllll your attention,” he giggled. “Besides, you’re really pretty when you’re concentrating. I don’t mind getting hurt if it means you’ll do that silly little thing where your tongue sticks out a bit when you’re focusing.”

“You need to go to sleep,” she said softly, fighting a smile.

“But I didn’t finish what I was gonna say on the table.”

“Too late.”

“I don’t want you to go.”

“Too bad.”

He whined. “Please? That douchebag who was all over you is gonna go right back to it if you go back to the party.”

“I’m not going back to the party. And what do you even mean? What guy?”

“The one who was on you when I got up on the table,” he pouted.

She quirked a brow. “I don’t even know that guy.”

“That’s worse! He’s gonna steal you away!” James exclaimed. “That isn’t fair. I had you first.”

She swallowed once, looking at him curiously. “What?”

“I don’t like boys looking at you or… or touching you or talking to you or anything. You were mine first. They need to back off,” he said, getting increasingly irritated. “I don’t care if you think I’m annoying or you don’t like me. Doesn’t mean some other boy gets to just… take you.”

“Slow down,” she said, grabbing his arm. “First of all, I do like you, if not evidenced by us becoming friends the past several months. Second… some dude I don’t even know isn’t gonna come along and ‘take me’. That doesn’t even make sense. Besides…”

“It does make sense! You’re so beautiful, and funny, and caring, and really mean but in a way that is super hot…”

“I don’t want to date some random frat boy, James.”

“But they want to date you!”

“Who gives a fuck?”

“I do! I love you! They shouldn’t get to butter you up and take you away from me, it isn’t fair,” he groaned, tossing himself back onto the pillows.

As a result, he didn’t see her mouth drop open at the accidental confession, nor the way her eyes widened as she looked at him. 

“You love me?”

“What?”

“You just said you love me.”

James opens his eyes, though he doesn’t look at her. “...no I didn’t.”

“You’re a shit liar, Jamie. I know what I heard.”

He winced a little. “Well… maybe I do. That’s what I was gonna say on the table, anyway.”

“So you’re brave enough to say it in front of a crowd, but you get scared to admit to it one-on-one?” She snorted a laugh.

“It’s easier to not get rejected right away when we’re around other people. Then at least I could figure out your reaction when you were still far away,” he said meekly, finally looking at her.

“You think I’d reject you?”

“Maybe? You kind of hated me when we first met.”

“And now? Who do I spend every waking moment with, dummy?”

“...me?”

She merely raised her brows, opening her hands in an ‘obviously, dumbass’ kind of gesture. He smiled at her.

“So…?” he asked vaguely.

“So… you love me, huh?”

He merely nodded, looking a little sheepish and still pretty drunk. She was thanking her lucky stars that she was still extremely tipsy as well, or else she probably would’ve passed out from nerves.

“What if I said… like, me too?”

His eyes widened. “You too?”

“Yeah.”

“You love me too? Like, also?”

“Yes, like, also,” she laughed. “I’ve honestly had a crush on you since the second day of classes this year.”

“Really?” He smiled brightly. “Ugh, you’re horrible!”

“What?” she scoffed a laugh.

“You are evil! I’ve been saying it since day one. This whole time I thought I was an idiot for liking you so much, and you had a crush on me?”

“To be fair, I really didn’t want to. You were pretty insufferable,” she chuckled, brushing some of his messy hair out of his face.

“Then what changed for me?”

“Nothing. I just started thinking all of your irritating traits were becoming irritatingly adorable.”

“You think I’m adorable?” He giggled to himself.

“Don’t push your luck, Potter.”

“Don’t call me that. I like it better when you call me Jamie.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Makes me all soft and mushy inside.”

“You’re such a sap,” she sighed softly, leaning down over him to kiss his cheek.

He felt his cheeks heat up quickly at the sweet gesture, and even more when she didn’t pull her face away from his. He looked up at her with a soft smile. How could he not have fallen head over heels?

He leaned up slightly, glancing down at her lips before closing his eyes to let her make the first official move. He hoped she’d make that move. Butterflies fluttered in his stomach, and sparks all over his body when he felt her lips meet his for the first time. He smiled into the kiss, unable to stop himself from it.

He kissed her back, though it was admittedly sloppy with the both of them still fairly inebriated, James being even more so. But to him at the very least, it was perfect.

Against his preference, she pulled away. He pouted, as he usually did when he didn’t get as much attention from her as he’d like.

“You have to promise me something,” she said quietly.

His ears perked up. “Anything.”

“We won’t become annoying like Lily and Marls or Sirius and Remus.”

He grinned. “Does that mean you want to date me?”

“God, you’re dense,” she muttered against his lips, kissing him again with no intention of ever stopping.

[huskyweebo]

Kings accidental consort. PT. 1 [ ? ]

Tysm to this blog for inspiring me to make an RadioApple fanfic!

“ So do you Agree on the terms. “ Lucifer affirmed, folding his arms as if saying to not agree. He and Alastor were on the patio; the only quiet place in the now bustling hotel,

“ yes yes, “ The radio demon said somewhat dismissively, “ I would only act as a parent to dear Charlie when you are not here, “ he repeated.

A sudden, odd thought came to Lucifer, “ just like divorced dads, “ he heard in his head, making him snicker slightly, Alastor tilted his head and narrowed his eyes, “ what seems to be hilarious your Majesty, surely not our agreement “ he proceeded to hold out his hand, Lucifer grasped it.

“ oh nothing, I was just thinking that this deal seems like we act like a sort of divorced couple, and how it would be funny if we were actually, truly married “ they shook hands, around them powerful rays of light signaled a deal being made by an Overlord and King.

Downstairs Charlie and Vaggie were heading to their room after letting Angel handle the new guests for a break. Suddenly, the lights darkened around them and Green light was seen, both girls knew that all too well.

“ I’m sorry but who is making a deal with Alastor? “ Charlie asked. Vaggie raised an eyebrow

“ wait didn’t your dad go up with Alastor a couple minutes ago? … oh shit, “ Vaggie muttered, she grabbed Charlie’s hand and rushed up the stairs leading to the patio where Lucifer had said he will be. The was a lot of commotion behind the closed doors, Charlie kicked it open and ready to fight.

“ -re you shitting me! What is this?! This is your fault sinner ! “ Lucifer yelled once Charlie smashed the door open, her father appeared to be wearing a wedding dress, and blushing profusely. Vaggie burst out laughing.

“ well I wasn’t the one who made a frivolous joke about being married, am I ? “ Alastor said. he seemed frustrated, but he still held his smile. He himself was wearing a black tuxedo and holding a bouquet of flowers.

As they argued, both of their hands flared around. Charlie stayed quiet, not wanting to intervene but suddenly noticed wedding bands on each of their clawed hands, putting two and two together, she gasped loudly. She started squealing making both men stop yelling to look at her,

“ oh my gosh, oh my gosh, Vaggie!! Alastor is officially my Father!! They have Ringsss! “ she said shaking her girlfriend, Tears fell from her eyes.

“ ok easy on the sparkles Hon, “ Vaggie said while being shook, she turned to the males with a questioning look,

“ did you guys seriously get married? “ Charlie ran to hug Alastor, “ NEW DAD ! “ she yelled while sobbing madly,

“ What is this? Dear this isn’t for long, His Highness messed up a deal we were making and ended up like this, “ Charlie was peeled off of his body, and her face told them she was hugely disappointed.

“ what but what kind of deal can you botch that badly to- “

“ WELL TIME TO BREAK THIS MARRIGE “ Lucifer interrupted, snapping his fingers.

The wedding garments disappeared for both, Alastor brushed his clothes, “ There you go, the deal should be of- why do I still have another ring. “ Lucifer stretched out his hand in front of him, on top of his old wedding ring that Lilith gave him, there was still the new one. Alastor looked down, he still had his on aswell.

“ Now this is particularly “ he said off handly, “ I thought you had it covered your majesty, “

“ well I do, give me a second “ Lucifer growled,

20 minutes later and everyone was in the palace with Lucifer running everywhere and looking through all the books he can find, he was muttering under his breath frantically similarly to how Charlie did when she was in a panic,

“ HOW IS THERE NOTHING ABOUT STUPID DEAL BREAKS IN THIS SHITHOLE “ Lucifer yelled out from another room and a book could be seen thrown.

“ hmmm “ Alastor hummed through his smile, he enjoyed the little one running around with tarnish, but he knew the fun couldn’t last. He he assured Charlie then went through his shadow and to where Lucifer was.

“ Your highness what seems to be the problem? “ he asked knowing full well the answer to his own question. Lucifer looked like a complete mess: both his horns and wings were out and he wore a crazed expression,

“ well, funny thing, well um- “ he stammered, then flew up and took another book out of a shelf instead of answering him.

Alastor waited for him to come down, he was like a prissy baby and currently, he knew not that Alastor could hear him from down below. The king cursed him out and his past living self. The book he previously had in his hand fell with a slam right next to Alastor, Lucifer cursed even more and flew higher, deep into the high rise library, Alastor went to pick up the book but immediately dropped it when it burned his skin through his gloves.

It was a holy book, ‘ Deals With The Unholy ‘ it was called. All around Alastor was holy books similar to that.

Finally, Lucifer calmed down slightly and flew back to where Alastor was, he was panting heavily.

“ finally calmed down? “ the Sinner rejoiced, his smiled sickened Lucifer, “ I see you don’t got this handled, “ the King rolled his eyes,

“ looks like apparently once a deal is made it can never be broken until it ends, but we never put a deadline, so it’s not possible… but I swear I had saw something about breaking a deal somewhere! “ he said with a pout, Alastor laughed slightly.

“ well I suggest we go ahead and tell our daughter that becuase she is currently worried about you. “ Alastor said smoothly,

“ she worried about me ? “ Lucifer said excitedly, then clearing his throat embarrassed when he saw Alastors face.

“ what do you mean, ‘ our duaghter ‘ she’s my duaghter not yours “ he growled. Alastor laughed,

“ Well this ring says otherwise, so until we find out a way to break this frivolous deal, we are officially married so she is indeed my duaghter. “ Lucifer narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything, “ go along now darling, please tend to OUR daughter “ The short king muttered angerly as he left, not waiting for him.

Alastor waited for him to close the door. The sound of a Wendigo could be heard from him.

he held his hand with his wedding band out, from it, sparks came from it and suddenly a book appeared in his hand. He reading for a brief moment before shutting and burning it.

“ A slight mishap that I could use, maybe being married isn’t such a bad thing “ Alastor started laughing, he continued on as he went through the shadows…

TBC [ ? ]

[alyakthedorklord]

Bat Poker Face Training

Dick, Steph, Cass, Tim, and Jason all crammed into someones room, with a kidnapped Duke sitting awkwardly with them, kinda scared.

Duke: “Uh… what’s going on?”

Steph, completely blank faced and standing ominously in the corner: “It has come to our attention that you require training.”

Duke: “Bruce is already teaching me really well-“

Jason, also blank faced: “That’s bat training. This is robin training.”

Cass, carefully but without a single emotion: “Sibling training.”

Dick, face just as blank as all his other siblings: “It’s much more fun.”

Duke, freaked out by the empty faces: “Am I being hazed?”

Jason: “Eh, maybe. Scared?

Tim, not giving Duke a second to reply: “Yes, he is. It’s written all over his face. And while its okay to be scared, sometimes hiding your true emotions in the field is a matter of life, death, and secret identities.”

Dick: “You’re going to be flustered. Humiliated. Terrified. Angry. Relieved. Your vigilante ID dragged through the mud in front of you as a civilian. Someone worried about your civilian ID and you need to keep them away.“

Tim: “Not just as a Bat, but a Wayne. Some dinosaur at a gala is going to say the most out of pocket thing you’ve ever heard in your life and you’ve just got to stand there.”

Duke: “So that’s the reason you’re doing the creepy thing?”

Steph: “Yes Duke. You need to have a poker face that Even Superman can’t break. That even a Fifth-dimensional Imp can’t crack! And that is the purpose of our training tonight!”

Duke, getting the program now: “Okay. I’m ready.”

Jason, allowing a creepy grin to slide over his face: “Don’t be so sure. Because what we are about to show you… it has broken Batman.”

Dick: “Damian is too innocent to see it, which is why he isn’t here.”

Steph: “If you can handle this, you can handle anything.”

Tim, tapping on his computer, chanting under his breath: “the horrors, the horrors, the horrors…”

Duke, terrified of what Tim is about to pull up, on the edge of his seat wondering what on earth can shake the Bat of Gotham, what the family considers too awful for thier arguably LEAST innocent member to see, what vile images he’s about to be shown…

Tap. The screen lights up white.

Duke: “No.”

Jason, grin widening: “We’ll be reading this aloud, for your entertainment.”

Duke, trembling and inching towards the door: “No.”

Steph, vice grip on Duke’s arm: “There’s no escaping it, Signal. This is your mission- to stay completely pokerfaced through Real Person Fanfiction of us- the Batfamily. And co, of course.”

Duke, sobbing: “Please, why… why would you do this to yourselves… oh god, is that… is that… is that Kate with Bruce? She’s a lesbian! And his cousin!”

Steph: “They don’t know that, Duke. They know nothing. And the depths of a human imagination is comparable to the depths of the ocean… there’s some weird shit down there.”

Tim, without a single emotion on his face, least of all mercy: “I had to sit through Young Justice fawning over Dick and Bruce. Do you know what they said? About my own father figure? Right in front of my salad? I was lucky I was wearing a mask. I cried, and I cried in silence. They knew NOTHING, because I showed nothing. This is what you must achieve.”

Jason: “I’ve had to listen to criminals talk about what they’d do to the ‘Prince of Gotham’ and not twitch. I’ve had to listen to both goons and civilians play fuck marry kill with our vigilante identities and not move a muscle. I know this feels like overkill, but trust me, it’s not.”

Dick: “Don’t worry, we’ll keep it mostly PG. Tim? Begin with the wildly out of character and aggressively heteronormative Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman love triangle. Then maybe we’ll work our way up to slash readers and…” shudders in horror, “…batcest.”

Duke: “NOOOOOOOO!!!”

[sorrowsofsilence]

Nightmares • Sebastian

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Fem!reader (oneshot)

Words: 2.1k

Warnings: Smut 18+ (fem!fingering, male!receiving, explicit language)

Prompt: You wake up from a nightmare, and your friend Noah finds a way to keep it off your mind.

Authors note: I know this prompt was requested a while ago, but I finally got it out hehehHEHEHE

Tags: @sammyjoeee @cookiesupplier @th4t-em0-k1d @dsireland86 @whenthesummerdies @spicywhenspeaking @gretaswhore28 @veronicaphoenix @lma1986 @calleyx13 @somewhere-diamond @talialovesmiw @auratheopossumwitch @blackveilomens @skulliecadaver-blog @silentglassbreak @darkmxgician

(some tags are from older one shots, so if you want on or off the tag list pls let me know! :3)

THIS IS A FANFICTION USING REAL PEOPLE IN A FICTIONAL SITUATION! I AM NOT IMPLYING THESE PEOPLE WOULD DO THE THINGS IN THE STORY OR ACT THE WAY THEY DO IN THE STORY IN REAL LIFE! IT IS FICTION! IT IS JUST FOR FUN! <3

“I don’t want anything to do with you ever again.” He seethed through his tongue, piercing me with his harsh words.

“But-“ you whispered, barely able to make a sound as your stomach clenched with complete heartbreak.

You never should have admitted your feelings for your best friend.

Noah’s glare was grim as he pointed a finger into your chest, disgust radiating off of his tone, “I would never love someone like you.”

His words dug into your soul, breaking you from the inside out as if you were a worthless, disposable vase, shattering into unfixable pieces.

“Y/N,” he yelled, face inches from yours with a snarl evident on his face as he bore hatred into you.

“Y/N!”

“Y/N!”

Your eyes opened as you gasped, your body flying upward as you sat on the couch, chest heaving heavily.

Wet tear-stained cheeks left you gathering your bearings, before making eye contact with a concerned brunette, his auburn orbs furrowed with distress.

You coughed and choked on your saliva, breathing with intensity as you sobbed loudly, pulling the thin fuzzy blanket up to your throat in an attempt to comfort yourself.

With legs draped over Noah’s lap, the two of you were placed on the couch. Looking around the room in confusion as the blue light from the tv danced across the darkened room, you watched it illuminating Noah’s worry. The sound of the movie that you were long-gone from paying attention to, was muffled within your ears as they rang with anxiety, unable to focus on what just happened.

Right, you were watching a movie with him; but must’ve fallen asleep.

It was just a nightmare- but it felt so real.

Noah’s calloused hand reached out to you, his slender fingers delicate as he rested them on your leg, ghosting over the exposed skin from your shorts.

“Y/N,” Noah’s voice cracked with fret, “what happened?”

You sniffed as you wiped your eyes with your sleeve, shaking your head, “n-nothing, I just had a bad dream.”

Sucking in a hyperventilating breath, you sighed and Noah opened his arms, inviting you into his space.

You hesitated for a moment, something that he noticed, before he reached over to grab your shoulders and pulled you into him anyway.

You relaxed slightly once safe in his familiar arms, pressed against his chest. Your face nuzzled into his black sharingan hoodie, his cologne faint as it mixed with the smell of tide from his laundry. The fabric was soft against your s/c skin, and Noah’s fingers began cradling your head, running across your scalp and through your strands in a soothing motion.

His free hand rubbed up your back as you rocked gently, “did you want to talk about it?”

“uh, n-no.” You hiccuped.

Your heart pounded at the thought of telling him what happened in the dream. He couldn’t know it was about him rejecting you, saying he would never love you.

The two of you had only been friends for a couple of years, meeting at a record label party. You were talking to Matt about sound mixing and Noah had overheard; and you’ve been inseparable since.

You never intended to fall in love with him. Of course you’ve always found him handsome, but there wasn’t ever an initial crush. However as you got to know him, his humour and personality sucked you in, leaving you completely whipped; and lost.

It was easier to believe he would never feel the same, because you were just friends. Nothing more, nothing less.

Noah sucked in a breath, “are you sure? I’m pretty worried about you right now, not gonna lie.”

Shrugging, you squeezed onto his body and clung to him. Noah’s small circles on your back delved lower and lower before sliding underneath your crew neck, inviting himself to trail his nails along the bare skin of your back. He traced rhythmic patterns, leaving the skin goose-bumping and tingling.

He always did that when you were anxious.

“One second you were quietly sleeping, the next you were thrashing and crying.” He whispered, resting his cheek on your head. He was genuinely worried, and you knew he cared about you; despite the harsh words that came from the dream.

You exhaled heavily, easing into his touch, “It’s okay, it was just awful… I don’t want to talk about it.”

Noah hummed, agreeing warily. You twisted your body so you were resting your back against his chest and snuggling into his arm that wrapped around you, before turning your attention back to the movie. His hand still rested along the skin beneath the sweater, holding onto your side.

You had no clue what was going on in the movie, but the two main characters on screen were heavily kissing, and beginning to strip. You and Noah watched in silence, ignoring the awkward tension that began to build as you held each other to the sex scene unfolding ahead.

With puffy eyes you wiped your cheeks again and began focusing on breathing, worried he’d notice the way it hitched as the characters loved each other. Your mind raced as it replayed the nightmare over and over again.

Noah’s torso stiffen, his hand on your side hesitating for a moment, before circling the skin again. He ran his hand across your stomach, soothingly.

You pretended to be focused on the movie, and so did Noah, but knew his attention shifted once his fingers tailed further down, the tips treading dangerously close to the hem of your shorts.

He dipped his fingers just between the waistband, running them across your abdomen, the skin tingling at the sensation.

Sucking in a shaky breath as he pushed his hand down further, touching the top of your underwear; you felt your stomach churn in anticipation.

“What are you doing?” You asked nervously, confused at his actions. Noah’s always been touchy with you, whether it was playing with your hair, holding and hugging you, or tickling your skin; but this was something different- something blurring the line between friendship and more.

His chest vibrated as he spoke, a sultry touch added to his tone, “Maybe, if you’re comfortable,” his fingers continued to slide further down, now between your underwear, “you need a little distraction?”

Your heartbeat quickened at his words, a mix of confusion and excitement washing over you. Noah’s fingers lingered for a moment, waiting for an answer.

“What do you mean?” You whispered and felt him smile as his chin rested on the top of your head.

“I can tell you’re overthinking,” He said gently, “so, let me give you something else to focus on?”

The muscles of your thighs clenched at his words as lust washed through you. Of course, you’ve thought about Noah’s inked fingers; there have been many times you imagined your own were his during nights fated to lustful thoughts.

As the room felt smaller and smaller, your mind began to wander to dirty images of succumbing to Noah, the nightmare beginning to wash away.

Nodding slowly you questioned him, “like?”

A breath caught in your throat once his fingers dipped against your sensitive skin, pressing small circles with the pads of his middle and ring fingers.

“This,” his voice hoarse and hungry.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek as Noah’s fingers slid between your folds, the slick arousal coating his fingers as he teased your entrance.

“You’re soaked, and I’ve barely done anything,” he chuckled, and your face flushed from embarrassment. Everything about him turned you on, and now he knew.

You hummed, too nervous to make a sound as his fingers sank into you. With your head tilted back to rest it onto his shoulder, you closed your eyes, afraid to look at Noah who was peering down.

Noah’s free hand ran up underneath your shirt, passing your chest before stopping at the nape of your neck.

“You’re allowed to moan,” He chuckled, his fingers curling.

Laughing lowly, your hips beginning to rut towards his touch, “Well then, I’m going to need you to make me.”

“Is that a challenge?”

Eyes fluttered open to his, a sly smile playing on his lips.

Noah’s dark eyes flickered to his hand that pleasured you, watching how you pushed and pulled from his touch, his mouth agape, almost moaning himself. His repetitive motion left you crumbling, body close to release.

His fingers continuously curled towards your pleasure, his thumb pressed against your clit as he skillfully gave you everything he had. His free hand slid from the base of your neck, grabbing hold of your chest, squeezing.

Noah’s fingers slid up, the pads rubbing along aggressively, stimulating every desire you have ever had. At that moment a moan escaped your throat and he smiled widely, encouraging him to go even faster.

“There you go,” He groaned in contentment and you felt him harden below. Your fingers gripped his thigh, nails digging into his skin as eyelids lowered in rapture, stimulating that you were seconds away from release.

“Oh fuck,” you cried as you came, your other hand gripping Noah’s that held you from above your shirt, squeezing as your abdomen clenched. Legs began closing around his hand as Noah worked out your orgasm, refusing to stop until you pushed him away.

With heavy pants you sat up, turning to face Noah who smiled, taking his fingers into his mouth and licking your release off of them. The tension between you two grew stronger as his hand then slid to the top of his cotton shorts, palming his erection that pushed tauntingly against the fabric.

You watched hungrily, mind no longer thinking about the nightmare from minutes before; but instead wanted to see how far he’d be willing to go- just this once.

“I think I need more of a distraction,” you said delicately, adrenaline taking your racing heart. Without a second thought, you then straddled Noah on the couch, grinding into him as his fingers gripped your hips.

Your body began aching for Noah’s touch again, craving him as his auburn eyes flicked between your own and your lips. You leaned down as his hands travelled up your body, gripping your face as he broke the distance and kissed you desperately. You couldn’t help it as your stomach grew butterflies, his soft lips devouring your own in a hungry kiss, lips open as his tongues pushed against each others.

A guttural groan escaped Noah as he kissed you deeper, the beat of his heart vibrating against his chest in excitement. His hands glided down to follow every curve of your body, pushing and pulling against the skin with need. His hands landed on either side of your hips once again before gripping your ass, pushing you into his arousal, frantic for friction.

“I bet I can make you come without even touching you,” you teased and spoke into his lips, rutting back and forth along his covered length.

Noah chuckled darkly, “I guarantee you could,” his breath quickened, “but I’ve dreamed about your lips wrapped around my cock too many times to let that happen the first time.”

Pausing for a moment, you stared down at him, almost shocked at his words. His smile was radiant as he brought you into another haste kiss, feeling giddy as you two melded into one.

Dream, about you?

“Really?” You whispered, barely audible. You shoved the surprise to the back of your brain, kissing him eagerly one more time before sliding off his lap and onto the floor. Positioning yourself between his legs, you then gripped the hem of his shorts as he watched every move, analyzing each touch.

“I need you Y/N,” he replied as you pulled his shorts down, his arousal breaking free and standing hard against his stomach. You couldn’t help but let out a moan as you gripped him, beginning to stroke up and down.

Noah ardently pushed into your hand and watched with furrowed brows. You then slowly licked a strip up his length before taking him into your mouth fully.

Swirling your tongue along the tip, you then began sliding down, lapping and sucking. Listening to his moans left your knees weak, barely supporting yourself below, succumbing to his need.

Noah’s fingers tangled in your hair as he held it out of your face, admiring you worshiping him. His head fell back in pleasure as you took your free hand to stroke what was free at the base, rubbing his skin firmly but in a delicate manner.

“Jesus fucking Christ Y/N,” his groan deep and lewd, the sensation of your mouth wrapped around him leaving Noah crumbling to the touch.

You wanted to take an orgasm from him, but weren’t sure whether you wanted him coating the back of your throat, or breeding your insides.

“So,” you licked up Noah again before pulling back, stroking him with a hand as you spoke, “do you want to come in my mouth…”

You trailed off, before looking up at him devilishly through your lashes, “or inside of me?”

Noah’s slanted-slutty grin and lidded eyes told you everything, but his words reassured you completely, erasing any signs of doubt you had from the nightmare.

“I’ve always wanted to make every inch of you mine.”

[imyourbratzdoll]

𝒂 𝒕𝒖𝒎𝒃𝒍𝒓 𝒐𝒃𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒐𝒏

hello, something I came up with that was initially supposed to be written with chris as the man, but seeing as I no longer write for him, I give a huge thanks to @royalsweetteaa for helping me choose.

summary - sebastian decides to download tumblr and comes across your blog, slowly, he becomes obsessed with you and your work.

warning - smut, obsession, masturbation, oral sex, swearing, slightly dark content.

18+ only please, the gif and header I use aren't mine.

On a cool Saturday night, Sebastian lies in bed, staring at his phone as he looks at the app he has just downloaded. He had heard many things about it, had heard that there was fanfiction written about him on this app. Sebastian didn’t think he would ever download Tumblr, but he was taking a small break from acting, hiding away from the world and thinking, why not. He didn’t know if reading what the fans wrote about him would be creepy or exhilarating.

He thinks for a few seconds as he tries to think of a perfect username. Sebastian lets out a noise as one comes to mind. His fingers move fast as he types ‘nottherealstan’, smiling triumphantly when his account is created, and many things appear on his home screen. He lies there for a while, scrolling through, wondering where these stories would be, not wanting to type his name in, but maybe he has to. 

His fingers move to the search bar, typing in his name and fanfiction at the end of it. His eyes widen as he scrolls through, taking his time to read the many stories designed about him. He couldn’t believe his eyes at how people could bring incredible stories to life with just the idea of one person. He continues to scroll until one story catches his eye. 

‘I’m a sucker for you.’ He reads the title, humming as it begins to sound interesting as he reads the summary. He gasps, feeling his cock twitch at how descriptive it starts to get. His hand slowly slides down his body and underneath his trackies. 

You knelt on the ground, looking up at the blue-eyed man, feeling yourself throbbing between your legs as you watched him suck on the lollipop that you were previously sucking on. Your lips and tongue are stained a soft pink, and you whimper when Sebastian slowly drags the lolly from his mouth, making a popping sound and placing it into yours. “Suck, bunny. Be a good girl for Daddy.” 

Sebastian groans, stroking his cock up and down as he continues to read. His breath picks up. No other story had lived up to this one. He felt needy. He could feel sweat building and pre-cum leaking. He quickly blinked away the fuzziness building before his eyes, needing to read more.

You wrap your lips around the lollipop as Sebastian unbuckles his belt, slowly unzipping his pants. You suck hard on the cherry-flavoured lolly, moaning when your eyes land on his hardened member, drooling at the sight of the pre-cum leaking from his angry tip. “You going to be a good bunny and suck on daddy’s cock?” You nod, opening your mouth wider, allowing him to remove the lollipop, replacing it with his member. You moan, eyes slipping closed when the sweet flavour is mixed with his musky one, immediately becoming your new favourite flavour. 

Sebastian moans, squeezing his cock, picking up his pace. Tingles shoot through his body as he realises the thrill of this, imagining an imaginary woman on her knees for him, sucking his cock and worshipping him. No matter his fame, he could never find a woman to act like this for him. Be his little slut, his bunny. “Fuck!” He can’t stop his head from falling back, stroking his cock faster. He needs to stop because he wants to make it to the end of the story. Sebastian squeezes his base, swiping his thumb across his tip and shivering. “C’mon, don’t cum like a damn teenager.” His eyes move back to his phone.

Your head bobs back and forth on his cock, gagging and choking as you take as much of him as you can. Your tiny hands rest on his thighs, moaning as you feel him. Sebastian’s hands fall onto your head, assisting you. His cock twitches, thrusting into your throat, grunting and groaning at the feel of your mouth around his cock. You stare up at him with wide eyes, and your hand moves from his thighs, making its way to his heavy sacks, watching his breath hitch when you cup them. You caress them, softly tugging as you suck and slobber all over his thick member. 

Sebastian feels his orgasm quickly approaching, causing him to squeeze his cock and slam his eyes shut. He can’t, and he shouldn’t. This was so wrong but so good. He could imagine himself in the story and desperately wanted to be the man in the story. The story may have been written about who he is, but he was jealous. He wanted someone like Bunny to be here, be with him. Sebastian wanted to see how this would end. He needed to finish the story before he came. It had seemed that this was a series, and he wondered if it could get any more spicier. 

You continue to suck his cock, moaning when you feel him twitch in your mouth, filling it with thick spurts of his salty cum. You swallow all his goodness, sucking him dry and licking him clean. Your tongue swirls around his tip before you pull off with a pop. Sebastian strokes your head, smirking down at you with hooded eyes. “Good little bunny. Did so good for Daddy.” You whine, grinding against your foot, pouting up at him and opening your mouth when he grabs the lollipop again. You moan against it, sucking on it while he picks you up. “My bunny deserves a treat.”

Sebastian groans, thick amounts of cum spurting out of his swollen tip and all over his hand and sheets. His eyes roll to the back of his head, and his chest heaves up and down as he tries to catch his breath. “Jesus…” He looks back at his phone, eyes widening. “What?! That was the end!” He looks around, knowing this is a series, but there’s no link for part two. “C’mon… What…” He whines, clicking on the blog, feeling his cock twitch at the username, ‘ahornylittlebunny’. 

He scrolls down, checking to see if there is an update, and he lets out a sigh of relief when he sees a post you made that same day. Sebastian imagines how cute you must look when you type these stories out. He reads your words, fascinated.

‘hi, all! I know you’ve all been waiting for part two of I'm a sucker for you, and you’ll be happy to know that I'll be posting it later tonight!’ 

Sebastian licks his lips, knowing he must be present when you post the story. His fingers move fast, clicking your notifications and turning them on. He needed to see everything you posted. He spent the whole night reading everything you’ve written, smirking at the posts about him, saying if you ever met him, you’d instantly become his little slave. Your eyes widen slightly from the other side, watching your phone blow up with notifications of likes, comments, and reblogs from someone named ‘nottherealstan.’

Sebastian can slowly feel himself becoming obsessed, he doesn’t even know who you are, but he’s intrigued and wants you. His eyes light up when he gets a notification that part two has finally been posted, and he feels his cock harden, already leaking pre-cum. “Fuck, such a good bunny.” He growls, clicking the story and slipping his hand into his pants. He groans as he reads, never having read something so sexual before. The title perfectly describes everything for him. ‘beyond your wildest dreams’.

Sebastian slips between your legs as you sleep, groaning when your legs fall open, exposing your glistening cunt to his hungry gaze. He licks his lips, sliding his hands up and down your thighs, getting closer to the sweetest treasure he’s ever known. “Such a cute little bunny, so soft and sweet.” He nuzzles closer, creeping near your cunt. Sebastian slides his hands to your hips, gripping them and dragging you closer to his face. You whimper in your sleep as his tongue swipes against your folds, drinking your juices in and wrapping his lips around your swollen pearl, sucking it into his mouth. “Taste like a dream, bunny.” He groans into you.

Sebastian moans, gripping his cock and rapidly stroking it. He couldn’t get enough. He needed this to be true. But he didn’t just want anyone. He needed you. Sebastian reached down and began tugging his balls, twisting his wrist as he jerked himself. “Shit, bunny. You feel so good.” He slips his eyes closed, imagining you, a faceless woman wearing a cute little bunny costume, those little bunny ears and that fluffy bunny tail. He opens his eyes and continues to read, needing to finish. 

Sebastian pulls you flush against his face as he feasts on your juicy cunt, ravenously sucking on your swollen clit and thrusting his tongue into your tight hole. Your head moves side to side on the pillow, fingers curling into the sheets as Sebastian continues to eat you out like a man starved. You wake with a moan, your back arching as he pulls you even closer to his face, staring at you with those pretty blue eyes. Your toes curl, and your eyes roll to the back of your head as your juices squirt out of you and cover his face. “Oh god! Sebastian!!” You pant, sagging into the bed, clutching the pillow as you come down from your high.

Sebastian can’t help it. His toes curl, his balls tighten, cock twitches frantically as rapid amounts of cum spurt out of his mushroom tip, “Fuck! Shit!” He groans as he sinks back into the silk sheets, placing his phone down and wiping his forehead with the back of his hand before he reaches over and cleans himself. Never having cum so hard in his life, no one had ever made him feel like this. He felt like a teenager again, constantly jerking his cock and cumming. Sebastian picked his phone back up, reading the rest of the delicious story, making sure to reblog with the perfect response. 

‘Fantastic, just fantastic. I’ve never read something so delicious and captivating in my life, and I won’t lie I couldn’t help but touch myself when reading. This masterpiece made me cum twice. What I would do to make you my perfect little bunny.’ Sebastian smiled, sending it through.

Sebastian plugged his phone in and headed to the bathroom. He gets ready for bed, looking at himself in the mirror, and he can’t stop picturing the perfect little bunny beside him, also getting ready with him. Someone who admires him, worships him, and loves him. He shuts the light off, heads back over to his bed, gets under the blanket, and stares up at the ceiling, slowly blinking. He probably shouldn’t have downloaded Tumblr because now he has become obsessed with you. 

As Sebastian slowly falls asleep, he speaks. “Don’t worry, little bunny. I will find you and make you mine, bringing all of your little fantasies alive.” His cock stirs, imagining having you in his arms finally, your wide eyes staring up at him as you realise he’s found out your dirty little secret. 

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.