#brothers one. most upset when someone else takes a big hit one. etc

[istherewifiinhell]

If Leo gets in trouble I’m the first one in there, but right now it looks to me like Leo’s got more than one monster to work out of his system.

^quote that is like. so indicative of what the dynamic is. (raph speaking) just gonna explode about.

[otakusheep15]

SFW Alphabet - Belphegor

My last post about Levi seemed to do really well, so I thought I would continue with this series. Belphie is my other fave, so I hope I do him justice. Also, sorry if anything seems weird, I wrote this all super late (for me anyway) so there might be some mistakes. 

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

At first, he isn’t super affectionate. Verbal affection is just hard for him in general, and he’s scared that he may hurt you with physical affection. However, he eventually comes around and becomes super affectionate with you. Sleeping together is a must for him, and he’ll often pass out on your shoulder or lap when you two hag out. Verbal affection is still often a challenge, but he does try is best to tell you just how much you mean to him. He also loves both giving and receiving head pats. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

 You two often hang out in the attic together. Whatever you decide to do depends on the day, but most activities will end up with him (and sometimes you) falling asleep. Beel also joins you during hang-outs. You guys will also platonically cuddle all the time. Most conversations between you are very sarcastic and filled with banter, but it’s only (partially) joking. He also likes to ruffle your hair since he likes the reaction it gets out of you. 

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

  This boy is the king of cuddles. He can honestly fall asleep anywhere at anytime, but he finds that he sleeps the easiest in your arms. While he likes any cuddling position, his favorite is when you lay on your back and he rests his head on your chest. He also likes when you run your fingers through his hair. In his demon form, he’ll wrap his tail around your leg as a small sign of possession. He’ll also bump you with his horns so that you’ll pet those as well since they’re sensitive and helps him fall asleep faster. 

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

He doesn’t really have a preference one way or another. If you feel the need to settle down, he’ll join you without question. However, if you wish not too, he wouldn’t really care. While he is not a fan of cleaning, he is a surprisingly good cook. Since Beel is his twin, and they have that special connection, he often knows when Beel is particularly hungry and can’t control it. Because of this, he learned how to cook in order to make sure his twin had enough snacks for the day. Even though it started as simply something for his twin, he’s found that cooking is quite fun, and enjoys cooking with you. 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

He’s the kind of person that would just straight up tell someone that he’s breaking up with them. To him, if he feels the need to break up with someone, then that person’s feelings no longer matter (at least, to him they don’t). He could care less if the other leaves the situation absolutely heartbroken; he just doesn’t have the time or energy to care. Maybe if it was someone he actually really liked and wanted to keep as a friend, he wouldn’t be as harsh, but he’d still be blunt regardless. 

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

As stated above, he doesn’t really care either way. He’s down to go along with whatever you want as long as you don’t make him work too much. If you want to get married, he’ll go along with it as long as Beel gets to be his best man. And if you decide you don’t want to get married, he’s fine just living with you and being with you without the ring. 

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

At first, he’s very gentle. After the incident, he is so afraid of hurting you again. There’s even a point where he goes into a near-panic when he accidentally touches you, and it gets so bad that the brothers have to stage an intervention. Once he’s calmed down and you’ve assured him that you trust him, he’s less cautious, but still gentle. He knows that demons are much stronger than humans, so he still tries to be careful even if he knows you’re not made of glass. 

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Hugs are one of his favorite forms of affection. He’ll hug you all the time, especially in front of the brothers in hopes of making them jealous. A lot of his hugs consists of him coming up behind you, wrapping his arms around your middle, and placing his head on top of yours. He’s even managed to fall asleep like this a few times. Out of all the brothers, his hugs are the best due to their warmth and softness. 

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It takes him a while to actually say the phrase, but it’s obvious that he loves you. He’s not one to really express his feelings through words, so he’s never actually thought that saying it was necessary. However, when you say it during one of your late-night cuddle sessions, he finally decides to say it as well.

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

He’s not as bad as Levi or Mammon, but he’s still pretty jealous. Although, he won’t actually say or do anything about it. If he’s jealous of one of his brothers, he’ll leave it to you to actually figure it out for yourself and then come apologize to him. But, if it is some random demon that’s trying to hit on you, he will try to drag you away with some excuse of him being tired and wanting a nap. 

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

His kisses are super lazy and tired, but that’s to be expected. His favorite spot to kiss you is on your neck. He likes how flustered you get, and he likes teasing you about how sensitive your neck is. His favorite place to be kissed is on the forehead. He finds it super comforting, and he especially likes it when he’s about to fall asleep. 

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Of all the brothers, he is, surprisingly, one of the best with children. It’s not that he likes them, or that he’s even good at controlling them; he just knows how to put them to sleep really quick. He can have them out in a matter of minutes, no matter how energetic the child. And, fun secret, he actually doesn’t mind children all that much. He just hates when they get loud or go all crazy. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

Mornings are usually spent cuddling in bed until you two have five minutes to get down to breakfast before Lucifer beats y’all half to death. Most of the time, you wake up before him, but it’s impossible to get up since he’s always wrapped around you and refuses to let go. Once, Beel had to come in and actually drag you two out of bed because he refused to get up on time. 

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

Nights are usually spent with him trying to stay awake while y’all watch a movie or something, but you both know that won’t happen. Instead, he usually falls asleep on top of you, leaving you with two options. One, you can try to drag him to bed, which almost never works. Or two, you can just fall asleep there and hope you aren’t sore in the morning from the weird position. Eventually, and no matter which option you go with, you both end up asleep in each other’s arms and sleeping peacefully. 

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

He is a very secretive demon by nature, so opening up is really hard for him. He really wants to, and he knows you also want him to, but he just can’t. And when he does finally start opening up, he takes it very slow. This is so that he doesn’t overwhelm you, or himself for that matter. He’s scared that showing too much of himself at once will make you leave him, and that’s the last thing he wants, so he tries to hide it for as long as possible. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

He isn’t ever angry so much as very passive aggressive. He’ll make snide comments, give mean stares, and make rude gestures whenever pissed off. This usually happens when he gets jealous of a lower-level demon, but it never usually escalates past that. However, there are those few times in which he does get legit mad, and that’s when the yelling starts. If he knows he’s losing against whoever he’s fighting, he’ll storm off to either his room or the attic until either you or Beel comes to get him. 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

He tries to remember things, he really does, but he just seems to forget things really easily. He’ll remember big things - birthdays, anniversaries, and your favorite things (shows, games, etc.), but he always tends to forget smaller things. He doesn’t mean to, and you know that he is trying, but sometimes it can be difficult when he forgets that date you two had planned and went to sleep instead. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

His favorite moment is when you two were cuddling together one night after he got into a fight with one of his brothers. He was really upset after that argument, and he didn’t have the will to do much else other than lay down and sleep. But, as always, you came to his aid and stayed with him all throughout his self-loathing party. At one point, you began humming quietly in an attempt to make him feel better, and that’s what did it. He began crying quietly, letting all of his insecurity flood out to you. The entire time, you sat there, listening patiently. When he was done, you kissed his forehead and told him that everything would be okay, and that everyone loved him no matter what. It was also this moment that made him truly fall in love with you. 

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

He would never admit it like most other things, but he loves the idea of being protected by you. He knows that scenario is a bit weird, but he just loves it so much. You’re so caring towards him, and he loves the thought of you protecting him from something that he could obviously handle on his own, just because you love him. It makes his heart melt a little. And, of course, he also protects you from anything that seems even mildly dangerous. He vowed to never hurt you, and he also vows to never let anything else hurt you. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

He puts in about as much effort as you would expect from him. He does really try, but he just never has the energy to do much. Plus, he knows that you prefer smaller, less extravagant things anyway. Most of the time, special days will be spent with just the two of you (and maybe Beel) either in the attic or the planetarium. You two will spend the whole day together, cuddling and just enjoying each other’s presence.  He usually always tries to make you some sort of food, usually a sweet of some kind. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Obviously, he has a bad habit of sleeping in too much. At first, it wasn’t a problem, but now it happens more often than it should, and for far too long. He also has a bad habit of being overprotective of you. In his mind, you are a weak, fragile human that needs to be protected from even the smallest of things. Eventually, he does learn that you can take care of yourself, but that doesn’t stop him from taking it a bit too far sometimes. 

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

One of the last things on his mind is how he looks. Like Levi, he spends most of his time inside, so why should he bother with something as stupid as appearance? He often gets into petty fights about this with Asmo, who is always trying to get him to try harder on his appearance. 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

He honestly thought he could do fine without you, but when you went home after the exchange program ended, he was falling apart. True to his character, he didn’t let it show, even after you can back, but it always stuck with him from then on that he needed you. He couldn’t stand being away from you, and if it happens again he will go on a rampage. 

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

As I stated previously, I headcanon him to be really good at cooking. At first, he’s shy about it, but soon you two are sharing kitchen duty with each other all the time. He originally learned so that he could cook for Beel, but he also likes cooking for the rest of his brothers (and you too). 

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

He’s not too fond of extraverted people, or people who have a lot of energy in general. It’s fine if you have some energy, but too much is where he draws the line. He has enough of that going on with his brothers, so he prefers someone quieter to enjoy peace and quiet with. 

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habits of theirs?)

He has a habit of sleeping with other people. It’s easier for him to sleep when someone else is in bed with him, so that’s what he prefers. Prior to the attic, he would actually go to Lucifer and ask to stay with him (if Beel wasn’t available). Now, he usually just sleeps with you or Beel or both. 

[deaconusdelirium]

So this is love

Requested: “could I please have Princess!Reader who Crosshair ‘volunteers’ to guard while he tries to not fall for her, yet he does, and he’s a total gentleman and romantic, eugh. I need some love right now”

I’m so sorry this is late. I was suppose to post this Monday and I didn’t. Sorry cyar’ika, I hope you like it though🥺

———

“Listen, all we need is someone to guard her for the day, her mother and I have some matters to discuss. We hate for her to be in our problems she shouldn’t have to be in right now” your father exclaimed, holding your mothers hand as she nodded, “listen your highness, we have our hands full right now. We have a kid we also need to take care of” “we could pay you handsomely” Hunter seemed to think about the offer, they needed the credits, especially in a trying time such as now. “Alright. Crosshair will do it” Hunter said as Crosshairs head turned towards him, he was not expecting this.

“Hunter. I’m needed on your side, not, walking along side some fake royalty” He spoke, your parents a little offended, Hunter turned and put a hand on his brothers shoulder, “the planets pretty peaceful, this is easy money. Just watch the princess until we come back, they did say they were going to pay us well. We’ll be back before nightfall, you only have a few hours” he turned back around to negotiate further terms. Crosshair groaned, he was meant for a better job, not whatever he was ‘chosen to do’. He could be serving in the military yet here he was, being a lap dog for some wanna be princess. “Very well, follow me” your father pointed his hand towards the castle, Wrecker laughed as Tech didn’t seemed fazed at all. Echo didn’t have anything to say, even he thought he could do a better job than Crosshair.

“This better be worth it” Crosshair spoke, pushing past Hunter while hitting his shoulder with his, sliding his helmet on and walking after your parents. “Why him Hunter?” Echo asked, folding his arms, “because he’s willing to do what needs to be done” Hunter said, watching his brother disappear behind the big doors until they closed. “Alright, let’s go” “uh Hunter. How long are we going to be gone for exactly?” “Long enough for him to get that attitude straight” Tech bumped in, “I believe that leaving him on a planet he’s never been on, to be a guard while we go off, will not affect his behavior on accepting and listening to you. However, it will probably only make him upset” “since when has he ever been happy?” Echo said, shaking his head since he could never think of a time Crosshair was happy. “He’ll be fine, it’s not like we’re leaving him for good”

—

“This way.. Crosshair? Correct?” “Yes.” Crosshair was a lot taller than the guards at the palace, and whenever he passed some. They’d grow a little bit intimidated, but he couldn’t do anything. After all, it is a peaceful planet, so danger wouldn’t be common, right? He stopped abruptly when your parents did, almost bumping into them, he took a step back, “now, that’s all you’re doing. Just guarding her, bring her back before sundown. If she tries anything, bring her right back here” you father ordered, “mother” you parents turned to face you, making Crosshair do the same. You were a lot different than he had expected, he’s found you almost... endearing, really. He tuned out whatever you dad was saying, nodding along. Ok, maybe this wasn’t so bad.

He watched as you approached him, “I’m uh, ready” you looked down, you’ve never really been around clones, and he looked more rugged than the original stormtroopers. He gave a quick nod, you turned to wave, signaling you were leaving. You didn’t know how to start a conversation between you two, it was awkward, a bit embarrassing. He hasn’t said one word, at least you haven’t heard him say anything, you pulled the hood over your head further, wanting to just disappear into it instead of walking around with a stranger you’ve never seen who now has to guard you. You’d rather have one of your guards, they were easy to talk to, you were about to open the door but the Clone did, letting you walk through until he closed it, standing behind you once again. “Vor entye” you thanked him

“You know Mando’a?” He started, you looked at him wide eyed, not expecting him to speak so soon. “I do, my mother taught me. My father doesn’t know any, you?” You asked, looking around the streets filled with people, kids ran across playing with a ball while the adults talked and vendors were making money. “A little” you hummed, talking the left walkway first, “I assumed as much, considering you travel around the galaxy and talk to so many other people” he turned his head, “have you ever been off world?” Oh well, he might as well get to know you if he’s going to be with you for some time. “No, unfortunately. My parents won’t allow it, they don’t even trust me to take a walk by myself” you sounded upset, “and they promised me that I could have this day to myself, but yet here you are” he stopped for a second, maybe this planet wasn’t that all peaceful

He caught up to you, who was looking at the items that littered the table in front you, “so tell me, princess” he made the word princess sound silly, you rolled your eyes and turned to meet him, his helmet still hid his face, “yes, trooper?” You teased back, he wanted to know more about what really was going on behind the fake set up, if you sounded that distraught, then who knows what happens when you’re alone. “Did you want to take a walk today? Or were you made to?” You smirked at him, “my parents wanted to test my social skills. l, I guess you could put it that way. They’re just getting me ready” you turned back around, walking to another shop.

This didn’t seem that hard, maybe he could find out before the day ended, “ready? For?” You scoffed, “are you really asking me that?” He wasn’t expecting for the snap back, he’s never been around royalty so he stood there, waiting for your explanation, “for marriage? Two planets or two cities come together?” You even motioned it to him, he only watched, nodding along when he finally pieced it all together. “And how, is this going to help?” He asked, as you paid for the item you bought and put it in the bag you carried. He offered to carry it for you, and you reluctantly gave it to him, he swung it over his shoulder, next to his rifle. “Well, I could find out what my ‘husband’ would want for dinner. Clothes, etc. etc.” you explained, “I thought royalty got whatever they wanted” “that’s probably what non royalty think. But we’re just like everyone else, we still have to pay. And the Queen, Princess, Bride whatever you want to call them, still have to have their priorities set straight. It’s not fair that my parents met off world on their own planets when I can’t. They’re finding one for me”

He nodded his head, now he understood. He watched you as grabbed something again, his eyes followed the person he seen lurking around the shop. Looking over at you every now and then, he moved closer, “and does everyone have priorities?” He asked, motioning the civilians. “Mm, no. Some yes, they do, others don’t, why?” You faced him, looking around to see what he was worried about, “just wondering” “I see, well. I don’t feel like buying anything really, come on” you pulled his hand, he was not ready for that. He followed around like a lost puppy, his face red underneath the helmet. He barely held your hand back, unsure if you wanted him to hold it or not. “Come on, I want to show you something”

You both weaved through the crowd, he wouldn’t admit that even he was excited to see what you had to show him. Once he notice you slow down, he knew what you meant, it was a small clearing with the two suns. “Tell me..” “Crosshair” “Crosshair, what’s it like out there? Is it pretty? Better than here?” He looked over at where you were looking. He sighed out, “not exactly, some planets may look nice, but they’re still bad out there” “oh... what about the planets. Are there a lot? I mean I know are, but I feel like there’s limit to them” it bothered him knowing that you were so closed in and you didn’t know much about off world. “There are many planets, some, better than others” you looked at him, his hand went up to his helmet, pulling it off. You quickly turned away, shielding your hands from his face

“What are you doing?” He asked “I thought you might like privacy” you frantically said, he almost laughed, “no, you’re fine” “a-are you sure, because most people like you don’t take their helmet off in front of other people” he pushed your hands down, “what, other people?” He questioned, you slowly faced him, taking in his features, “people like.. Mandalorians” “Mandalorians?” “Yeah, he have quite a few visit every now and then” he eyed you down while you pushed off your hood. He got an even better look at you, he couldn’t deny that you were beautiful. He looked down to see that he was still holding your wrists. He backed off, looking away and standing there. You frowned, maybe it was something you did.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have” you apologized, walking off and waiting for him back at the alley, he put his helmet back on. Following you, it was almost evening. You were quiet after that, now it was his turn to feel awkward. You both took your time, every waking moment he spent with you felt like he’s known you for eternity. Some moments he found that he just wanted to stare at you while you talked about what you loved and what you wanted to to do. The stars in your eyes shined, the way they lit up whenever he asked about something from your culture.

Is this how you felt when you first met him? His head hung low while still following your footsteps, he looked up to see another pair of shoes in front of you, he glared at the person behind his visor. What was he demanding from you? He couldn’t hear, but he didn’t want this to go on any further, he stood up straight, pushing you behind him as he shook his head in a ‘no’ manner to the person. Once they knew to stand down, they did, walking off shortly while he turned to face you. “They didn’t do anything, did they?” “No... no I’m fine. I think we should head back” you both didn’t travel far, is this as far as you wanted to go?

“That’s it?” He questioned, he could still see the palace from where he stood. “What is?” You asked, “this is as far as you want to go?” “It’s getting late Crosshair, I’m suppose to be back by nightfall” you both had plenty of time, but why would you want to go back so early? He stood there, baffled at how you were paranoid to be out late, and you were being controlled more than you even knew. Even he could see it when he first met you. The somewhat sad expression he noticed whenever you looked up at the sky and seen night creep closer, “come on” he grabbed your hand, pulling you along side him as he walked around with you. “Crosshair, I think it’s best to go back. My parents are going to send guards soon” he ignored your protest, you had more than enough time to go do more things.

An hour or so later, you both found yourselves in a nice restaurant, he told you everything you wanted to know. He’d gotten to know your past and what you did growing up, must have been boring. He answered all your questions you had about off world, even listening to his stories about the time he went Gino battle. He stood up, coming over to your side and holding a hand out. You noticed how comfortable he had gotten in the past few hours, he helped you up as you both walked out the restaurant, then away from the crowd and into a small field. He was still getting use to being squished by people, so being alone would comfort him a little. “Cross” you called out, his helmet under one arm as the other was wrapped around your shoulder. “What is it?” “I.. just wanted to thank you. For today, this probably has to be my first time ever, outside with this much freedom. I’m surprised you haven’t taken me back yet” “you haven’t tried anything yet” he teased, “But all good things come to end” you looked down, holding your hands as he pondered about what just happened.

He wasn’t sure what he wanted. He pushed your hood off and pushed your head up and bent down to your lips. Softly taking them in his as you fell into it. He wasn’t sure what he was doing, he was suppose to only be watching you. Your father said nothing about talking... or falling in love, did he? But if he didn’t say anything about that, then maybe he just did. He moved closer to you, your hands found their way to his sides, where his armor wasn’t protecting. He tensed under your movements. He moved away, only leaving him wanting more, so he dropped his helmet and cupped your face in his hands. Bringing you in for another, his hands wandered down your shoulders and to your hips. Settling for the your lower back as you both tried to come as close as possible.

You pulled back with a gasp, heaving breathing as your hand fell on his chest plate. “Cross, I love-” he listened carefully, he knew what you were going to say and he wanted to hear it. He just couldn’t make the first move until you did, the past hours spent with you were probably the best ones he’s ever had. Something grew between you when you two, he started the day not wanting to do this, and at the end, he would do anything to be with you again like this. “Crosshair, I hope you you took the princess back. We’re almost there” he almost commed Hunter back to shut up. You pulled away without finishing your sentence. He didn’t even get to hear it, the cold air blew against the warmth you provided him, he shivered a little, expecting you to come back. “He’s right Crosshair. We should head back” “Y/n” “no, it’s getting late. I don’t want you getting in trouble” you said as you picked his helmet up off the ground and pushed it towards him. Walking off as he followed behind.

“Crosshair” Hunter commed again, trying to call for his brother but Crosshair could only think about the past minute. How you were so close he could feel the beating of your heart through his armor. The warmth you brought him and your soft gentle touches along his side. Was this love? Had he actually found someone to stay with? Or was this his feelings messing with him, he’s never been so close to someone before, And he definitely did not mind you being. “Crosshair” “what. What. What?” He finally answer back, snapping at his brother for ruining something he never thought he wanted. He kept an eye on you as you walked back to the palace, “we’re talking with the King and Queen, once you bring her back is when we’ll get paid. So I suggest you hurry” “you’ve told me before, you don’t need to tell me again.” He turned off his radio, catching up to you

The people who came too close to you were shoved out of the way since it also scared him that if you did come back late, guards would come, and his brothers were at the palace, that would mean there would be many there. He wondered just how many suitors were in line for you, how you spoke about not wanting to marry any of them earlier. Why would you kiss him? All the thinking about love and his feelings were giving him a headache, particularly where his chip use to be. He shook his head trying to rid the feeling, the large doors were now in front of the both of you. You looked hesitant to knock, “Y/n” he called out, his modulator matching his hushed tone. You looked over, his gloved hands tried to hold yours, the shadows from the door blocked the view of anyone looking, “yes, Crosshair?” Your voice. So frail, so soft.

He took his helmet off as you slid your hood off as well. He rested his helmet under his arm, while he took off his glove. He pulled you closer, this was probably the only time he’ll ever get to do this again, he brought the flower he held behind his back, fixing it into your hair as he pushed it back. “Tell me you love me” he can’t believe that he actually said that, but it was true, he couldn’t love you until you said you did, and you almost did. “Cross, I love you” it didn’t sound as real as before, but he took it nonetheless. The doors started to open, “I love you too Mesh’la” he gave you one last kiss, pulling your hood up to hide the flower, then sliding his helmet on before acting like he only did what he was suppose too. Your hand left his side as he felt the snap of a button and stood up again

He let you walk through, following until you both went and met your parents. Another group of Clones just like Cross were there too, “Y/n, how was your day?” You mother asked, fixing your clothes and making you presentable. “It was fine” the others thought you spoke fine and how royalty should, but Cross knew that it was just a play. Fake. “Now, how do we thank Crosshair?” Your father asked, pushing you forward to him, you didn’t want to make it seem like you had gotten comfortable around him. “Thank you, Crosshair, for today” you didn’t look at him, the feelings would only come back. Crosshair looked around making sure his brothers weren’t listening before speaking, “You’re welcome...Cyar’ika” you only hoped your mother hadn’t heard. You turned and seen her talking to the other Clones and your father, you smiled and shook your head at Crosshair. You could see by how his armor moved he laughed a little as well. “Go on a clean up now” your mother ushered you as gave Crosshair one last smile before leaving.

He didn’t even get to tell you that he would see you again. That may have not been true, and he knows he might not ever see you again, he watched as his Hunter grabbed the boxful of credits. He was getting paid from his happiness from, love, if you will. He didn’t do or say anything when your father thanked him one last time, the Batch looked at him then left. He was quiet on the way back, even Tech tried to start a conversation with him. Back on the Marauder, everyone went their separate ways, Crosshair went to his bed, Echo not to far, while Wrecker and Omega played with Lula and Batcher. Hunter and Tech were up at the front figuring out where to go next. Crosshair put his stuff away, standing his rifle up against the wall and his Helmet on his cleaning kit. Then he remembered your bag!

He took it off, looking through it only to find a few flowers and, a teddy bear much like Lula? He stifled a laugh, he sat it up on his bed and put your bag in his locker. He reached to grab whatever was in his pocket around his belt, and it was your necklace. When did you give it to him? Was it when you first bought something? Or at the restaurant maybe? It didn’t matter, he felt bad for not giving it back. “That looks like the doll I told my friend to get” Omega pointed out, Crosshair only scoffed, and leaned forward to rest his head in his hands. “I heard she got it today, at the market” he attention piqued since he was at the market with ‘Omegas friend’ that was a ‘she’ “what’s her name?” He asked, looking over at Omega while she held Lula and pretended to play with the doll that he had. “Y/n, she lives here too, but I didn’t get a chance to see her since we were doing that mission” his eyes widen at your name. You. You were friend with Omega? He nodded, maybe you were going to see each other again soon.

———

This request was from long ago and I’m so sorry. I wanted to make it better but I have other, so part 2 will be even better. I promise!

[dysphxtric]

Mental Illness - My Mental Health Story

TW: Depression, Anxiety, Self harm, Suicide, Sexual Harassment

“You should smile more.”

“It could be worse.”

“Just don’t think about it.”

These were the phrases I heard throughout all of my elementary and high school years. There was never a time when my peers and teachers, would not mention some bizarre, ignorant statement revolving around mental health. Not to mention, my family also contributed heavily to the stigmatization of mental health issues. Essentially, my family approached the subject of mental health with extreme hesitation, they refused to talk about how it affects people of all age, gender, ethical background (etc.) Every time I would say “I’m feeling lost” my family would automatically dismiss my frantic worries and it was not any different when I went to school. My peers would continuously remind me that my pain was not valid and that I need to stop being so sensitive. My primary parental figures, my mother and brother did not have the adequate knowledge or tools to be able to hold space for me. I would frequently hear my mom say, “I could understand someone suffering from PTSD feeling upset or sad but you’re so young and healthy honey, you have nothing to worry about” or the old classic “Someone else has it worse than you”. Whether I was at home or at school, I heard the same ignorant statements spewing out from what felt like everyone. And I could never comprehend what was the point of these falsely “encouraging” statements and why profusely use them? These kinds of statements do not uplift, nor do they empower those struggling with mental health issues, if anything it makes it extremely debilitating when your emotions are not acknowledged nor validated. One cannot expect to simply brush away another person’s emotion, thought or feeling as though it means nothing.

With that being said, growing up, I lived in a dysfunctional household alongside my mother, my older brother, and my grandmother. My mother would always be juggling work, schooling, and her dating life. My brother was very reluctant about staying home so he would always vanish after school, hang out with friends, party hard and engage with various street substances. Now my grandmother? It was not long after she immigrated that she began to immerse herself within the Jehovah’s Witnesses ideology and “religiously” strayed away from us as my mother likes to say. My mother was never fond of religious practices that were not “orthodox”. My grandmother wanted to indoctrinate my mom, brother, and I into joining her religious little club but failed which resulted in countless fights, yelling matches, and multiple dents left in our walls. The back and forth with the yelling was what scared me most in my childhood even if it was over something as small as not closing the cabinet door. I think it was around this time period I experienced violence/ trauma at home and truth be told I was extremely stressed and anxious all the time as a kid. My mother would cover the punched indents by taking magazines and sticking pages onto the indent. Often times my stomach would turn as I looked at the pages covering the area where my brother punched the wall with brutal force. Moreover, I felt impending sadness because all I ever wanted was for everyone in my family to be able coexist and not argue. I was trying to keep the peace between everyone, yet I was always the one that got caught in the middle of everything whether I liked it or not. I would get blamed a lot for trying to mend things for everyone. Even though all I wanted was the best for all my family members.

Fast forward to my pre-teen/ teenage years. By this point, my brother and grandmother were no longer living under the same roof as my mother and I. My brother was living with his ex-girlfriend while working as a security guard meanwhile my grandmother was living in her own little subsidized apartment preaching the word of Jehovah. At that particular time, my mother and I lived in a marvellous urban semi-detached house in a peaceful neighbourhood. My mother’s boyfriend had moved in with us and for the most part I was really happy because at least it was not just me and her.

My mother’s boyfriend lived with us while I was going to school. He was a really nice, caring and warm-hearted individual although I could never understand why my mother argued with him so much. I once told him “You should propose to her, I can see you two together forever” to which he replied with a welcoming smile.

But eventually just like with all good things, there comes an end. The inevitable breakup my mom went through was very bitter and I had to be there for her. Afterall, I was technically the only child that was around to emotionally comfort her. Ironically, the breakup occurred during the time I was being bullied in school. And it was difficult to be fully present for my mother while dealing with a lot of negativity at school. I had been experiencing cyber bullying on MSN by a bunch of peers calling me “weird”, “ugly” and “different”. To make matters worse, the group of kids that bullied me online ended up following me everywhere I went for recess which posed as a big obstacle for my well being. I had to eat inside the portables when teachers weren’t around or inside the girl’s bathroom stall just to avoid being teased. I never felt like I had a safe space to myself where I could be vulnerable and open up. Not to mention, it was a difficult time and there was practically no one I could confide in. I didn’t have a social circle of supportive friends, after all I was an antisocial person. Fear washed over me as I worried about disclosing my unpleasant experience to my mother because she was already dealing with so much, the heartbreak, the bills, work problems (etc.), it was then and there that I decided to lie instead of telling the truth. Ultimately, lying became my cooping mechanism to deal with the ongoing pain.

I kept up the lying for a long time in order to make it seem like everything was okay. I lied to everyone from family members to school peers to the teaching staff to principals to counselors.

For the longest time, lying sheltered me from all sorts of unnecessary questions. No one could really tell whether I was truthful or disloyal because I was able to make it sound believable. When I was a teenager, I continued to go down the same destructive path by being dishonest with myself and others. Many times, the thought of suicide crossed my mind and when I started to think about it and plan/coordinate the intricate details it did not hit me that something was very wrong, and I needed urgent help. A big part of the problem was that I was so used to downplaying my pain, given my family circumstance and stigmatization I experienced growing up with. There is no denying that I would engage in negative self talk convincing myself that I deserved the pain and suffering for not being likeable enough or for not being smart enough.

Sometimes I think that is the thing… people do not understand that I lied because that was what I was required to do in order to survive my childhood. I, myself do not tolerate lying and I think it is a form of betrayal and if I were to be completely honest, I would have NEVER lied to my mom had it been safe for me to express myself authentically in my household.

I did not live in a household where it was safe to speak my mind freely and disagree with my mother. Disagreeing was always the last thing I wanted to do, disagreeing meant I got the belt, my devices would get confiscated or that I was going to get grounded. They say, “Honesty is the best policy” and I do not disagree however, it is not as black and white as one may think. In my situation, lying was not only an adaptive coping mechanism but it became a survival mechanism to keep me safe from harm/threat.

I did not have very much individuality growing up. I felt as though having an opinion of my own was bad. In order to perpetuate this fixated mindset that I had, my mother constantly deemed certain attributed behaviours or thoughts as “good” or “bad”. So, say you were upset about a recent breakup with your partner, my mother would scoff and say, “You know life isn’t just about love right?” and play it like it means nothing to the person affected by the situation.

The first time I ever felt depressed was when I was 13. At that age I did not understand why I was feeling what I was feeling. All I knew was that there was something wrong with me. It did not help when I was being picked on by my classmates telling me “Go die”, “You belong in a ditch ugly bitch.”

The moment when things started getting out of hand was when I was first started my Art and Family Studies class in the same semester. In both classes I was placed into groups amongst other students. In Family Studies I had to be in a collaborative group that would divide responsibilities and tasks accordingly. When it came to cooking, my group consisted of four snobby, rich yet immature peers who were unwilling to help and contribute in any shape or form, I had to become the bigger person and sure enough I took all the responsibilities on myself. Though, it was not a smart move. But I was super shy and felt anxious to do anything different least to say speak up and advocate for myself, so I did what I had to do which was prepare meals, clean, and wash the dishes. At the end of the day, none of my peers thanked me, the only thank you I got was getting groped while washing the dishes and getting laughed at.

After what happened I ran to my best friend in tears to tell her what happened just to find her say “It’s not that bad, you’ll be fine” I felt like my blood was going to boil and I was about to start fuming. I stood thinking “Huh, that is so weird, is this how you comfort a person after being sexually harassed?”

Not to sound all grim but that experience showed me that no one really cared about me. No one cared that I got groped or how I felt in that moment. Let alone not even my “best friend” who was supposed to fulfill her role and be there for me. All I wanted was comfort and to be heard out. I could not even tell my mother about this experience until I turned 21 because of how ashamed I felt carrying around that experience and not having the ability to open up and mourn what happened that day and to be able to heal that damaged part of myself. I carried that incident with me for 7 years in silence because I was scared of being honest.

That specific experience was very detrimental to my mental health. Everything began to spiral out of control, I sprawled into a dark depressive state. I began to have intense panic attacks, insomnia, forgetfulness (etc.) After a certain duration of time, I had thoughts of suicide lingering at the back of my head. I questioned my worth, my identity, my culture, my everything.

The bullying and name calling persisted and became so intense that I ended up missing weeks of school time. Some of the boys in my Art class found it funny to make fun of my last name and call me “Prostitute”.

One day in the early springtime, my Art teacher noticed the marks on my wrists as I was painting and had not said anything until I made it to my last period class. I was called down to the guidance counselors office and was interrogated with questions.

“It has come to our concern that one of the staff members noticed cuts on your arms.”

I sat in silence trying hard to contain my anxiety.

“Are you struggling with depression or low mood? Is everything okay at home?”

It came to the point when I got so tired of lying about my pain that I admitted “Yes, I am struggling, I need help”. I dived into the bullying occurrences, the cat calling, my low grades, my self-esteem, the groping, my home situation (etc). After that, I was told that my mother would have to be called down to the school for “safety” reasons even though my counselor promised not to disclose any personal information to my mother. My greatest fear was that I did not want my mom to know that something was wrong.

Of course, my mom came to my school. She was told everything that had happened. I met her at the counselor’s office just to find her wailing in distress “You are such an embarrassment” and “Your counselor told me what you did, how could you do this?”. When the counselor gave us resources for help, my mother grabbed the papers and shoved them into the trash, got up and yanked me out the office.

The next three days that followed, my mother withdrew into her room not saying a word to me. I felt really uneasy and upset. She had her right to be alone but locking herself away from me and avoiding communication altogether? Didn’t make much sense.

I felt extremely guilty for not opening up to my mother sooner. But instead of choosing to be compassionate and caring she chose to resort to anger. She furiously blamed me for being “quiet” and “not trustful” which all landed on my shoulders again. It was “my” fault I thought.

Bottling this up resulted in a full-blown mental breakdown. I could not focus or concentrate because of everything building up. It came to the point where my mom had to choose between living in a toxic community or starting fresh elsewhere.

And even though my mother kept subjecting me to her harmful stigmatizations, the transition from my old school to my new one helped me greatly. When we moved away, I gradually started to feel better emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Very quickly, I ended up adapting to my new high school where I finally made friends.

One thing I cannot deny is that there definitely was a silver lining to all of this. Although I went through severe bullying and torment at school and home, I managed to reclaim my power and through that I discovered my inner peace after being extracted from my toxic high school. The new school that I ended up attending completely changed me and inspired me to become a more authentic version of myself. It was almost as though I did a complete 180°

My new peers and teachers were enthusiastic, open-minded and caring. The new community I was surrounding myself in was a very positive one that broke down stigmas and encouraged deep understanding and acceptance. My mind was blown when I found that it was easier to conversate with girls and guys at my new school, I was gradually becoming confident and more vocal, and I liked the feeling of not hiding myself away from the world. It felt rejuvenating to finally be heard and seen by others.

Slowly but surely, I began to partake in various activities at my school. I joined the Poetry Club which I would have never considered joining had I stayed back in my old school due to fear of how I was perceived. Ultimately, I started caring and nurturing myself more. My new friends supported me, and teachers began to openly listen to my stories and encouraged me to write. When I started writing, I realized that I could use this medium to cope with my depression and anxiety. The acknowledgment made a major difference in my life like never before.

If it were not for the transition from my old high school, I would have not made progress in developing into the woman I am today. I know that I am not my pain, I am not my mistakes.

Do I still struggle and have bad days? Yes, of course. Just like any human being I have my days when I am not feeling the greatest however, I am more open to learning about how to engage with my mind, body and soul in order to soothe myself during turbulent times. I still have that inner critic however, I have been engaging with activities such as bike riding, painting, drawing, and reading to help occupy my mind which as a result has reduced the time that I spend ruminating. Occupying myself has worked magic, I am now able to reduce and control how much time I spend self-loathing, criticizing, and judging myself. Rather than judging every thought, I’ve learned to slow down and observe.

If you stuck along until the end of my story, I want to thank you for reading through my experience. My hope is that my story can shed some light on the myths and stigmas surrounding mental health, especially within the Eastern European community. I want you all to know that you are ALL valid and I wanted to be able to share my story so that my readers know that they are not alone.

[rainywritingsx]

hc: Lucifer, Satan & Beelzebub with a shy s/o

request:... 🥺👉👈Can I please get Obey Me! hcs of Lucifer, Satan, and Beelzebub with a shy s/o? You don’t have to do this one if you don’t want to! 😖

aaaaaaa I’d love to!! I had so much wrong writing this tbh being a little shy myself when it comes to crushes etc so I hope I was able to do well because of that ^^

Reminder that as of right now, requests are closed!

total word count: 1700

Tip jar ^^

I just realised the title looks so weird to people who don’t play obey me lmao i’m not a satanist i swear

Lucifer

we all know Lucifer is a sadist

so

he will basically feed off of making you flustered and even more shy

of course there’s a limit and he’ll know when to stop

and if anyone else makes fun of your shyness he won’t hesitate to teach them a lesson

he won’t push you to do anything you don’t want to do

and whenever you seem to need him, he’s there

you’re being bothered by some demons at school? Lucifer is there

one of the brothers is messing with you *ahem asmo i’m looking at you* ? Hi it’s the avatar of pride to the rescue

he thinks your shyness is adorable

but of course he won’t say it out loud

he’s too prideful for that lolol

also

because of your shyness he’s learned to figure out what you want without telling him

but sometimes he’ll act all smug and specifically want you to say it

he’ll act as if he really doesn’t know

“What do you mean, my love?”

“....”

“I can’t know for sure if you don’t say it.”

“okay okay!! j-just kiss me..”

uwu

but again he will be considerate of your limits

as for PDA, he won’t really do it much because he’s aware it will most likely fluster you

and there’s no need for him to show you’re his

the whole school practically knows you’re Lucifer’s s/o and well,,, they know not to mess with him

if it does happen that someone flirts with you he will state very clearly who you belong to

he might wrap an arm around you protectively but that’s it

in private tho

o o f

you bet there’s cuddles. lots of em

knowing his busy life, Lucifer probably needs moments like that once in a while

but again and i keeeeppp saying it, he won’t do it if he can tell you really really don’t want him to

wait I didn’t even mention how you two got together what-

okay so

Lucifer is not an idiot

while at first he did think it was just your shyness, he did start to notice that your behaviour towards him was rather different compared to his brothers

he thought that maybe it was just because of his position and him being close to Diavolo

but then it just kinda hit him

and well, to say that his heart didn’t race whenever he saw that adorable blush on your face would be a lie

so,,,, he confronts you about it (in private ofc)

will definitely ask you out on a date uwu

he’d pick something which he knows you love so you can ease up a little

but he’ll lowkey also try to make you flustered because it amuses him

but it won’t seem like it

but as you two talk more and more you’ll start to notice when he purposely says or does things to see you react

doesn’t stop you from being embarrassed though

sorry babe

but of course he loves you uwu

also

if there is any problem at school

literally anything from bullies to you being stressed

he will take care of it for you and of you if needed, no but’s accepted

overall he’s just a smug boi who loves you so much

kinda like “yes I get to make fun and tease my s/o but if you dare say a bad thing I’ll kill you” but in a cool and sophisticated way??

I’m just rambling at this point sorry

Satan

Satan finds your shyness endearing to say the least

he doesn’t mind it at all

in fact, it gives him some peace and quiet away from his loud brothers

when he meets you, he becomes kind of curious about you

you’re a human first of all but also your shyness sparks his interest

which is why he would like to hang out with you often

I can’t get the idea of Satan just reading with you in his room in silence out of my head

or, if reading isn’t your thing, he might read to you

idk why that came to mind lolol

he might encourage you to speak up a little at times, but forcing you is something he’d never do

if anyone talks badly to or about you and you don’t say anything about it, Satan will

he might do a little more than talking

also, he will ask if something is okay 100% of the time

but I also feel like at first he won’t initiate things at all

if he wants to hold your hand or kiss you he will wait until you do it

but slowly he will be able to read you (hehe) and even then he will ask if it’s okay just to be sure

but

when someone seems to not know you’re his s/o

he doesn’t get jealous but he does get angry

and you can tell

he’s smiling while talking to whoever bothers you but it’s not a reassuring one tbh

and he might just kiss you out of nowhere if his anger really really gets to him

will definitely apologise for doing it in public

“However, I do not feel sorry that I kissed you like that.”

“S-satan!!”

he’ll chuckle at your flustered state lolol

he loves seeing you blush, or, if you don’t blush, just seeing you all embarrassed

overall he just loves you for who you are and wouldn’t want to change a single thing

he will also enjoy doing things such as taking quiet walks with you (i’m dying over here AaaaAAAhhhH)

as for how the two of you got together,,,

this will probably be after you two have been hanging out for a while

Satan will immediately notice when he starts catching feelings for you

and while he does want to be with you, he’s worried

yes, Satan manages to keep his composure most of the time

but he’s not an idiot, he knows how he can get

and the last thing he wants is to hurt you

that really worries him a lot

but as time passes, he sees that… you’re still there? you don’t leave?

In his moments where he can feel himself transforming into his demon form, he will leave quickly however

and when he comes back he really wants to apologise profusely

but he sees you’re calm

and you aren’t disgusted and terrified

and I feel like that is when he really knows he wants to be with you without a doubt

so just like that, he asks you out

and when you say yes, he will just smile and feel the happiest he’s been in a while

suddenly Satan discovers a big love for romance books

Beelzebub

a real cutiepie

he would think your shyness is so cute!!

but Beel wouldn’t tease you over it at all

at first he’d be worried that somehow he made you scared of him

beel you’re a baby wdym scary

but after you or maybe one of the brothers tell him he’s just shy he will understand

he’ll try to be as careful as he can

I can’t get this one idea out of my head of Beel just pulling you into his chest if you’re in public and it’s getting too much for you

he’s huge so he’d basically cover you completely

and if anyone ever messes with you he will clearly get upset

he may not be as aggressive as Lucifer and Satan but he will still make clear that he did not like what someone has said about you

if you’re too shy to maybe talk to someone or ask something in a store, this cutie will do it for you!

he wants you to be comfortable and he doesn’t mind doing things like that for you

will definitely take you out on dates in restaurants (do those exist in their world idk now they do) and he will order for you!!

at some point he will just have your preferences memorized

as for physical contact, I don’t think Beelzebub needs it in the sense that he’s annoyed with your shyness

he lets you take your time so if you want to hold his hand and do it, you can. If you say you want cuddles, he’s more than happy to hold you

he’ll make sure to make you as comfortable with him as possible in your relationship

noowww as for how you two got together :D

I feel like most conversations would be in the kitchen because 1. that’s most likely where Beel is often and 2. talking about food is super easy for him lolol

so, whether it’s you cooking, baking or him just getting food in the kitchen, you two always end up talking

he will always ask if he can try whatever you’re making, and if it’s something he has never tried before he’ll want it even more!

and who can say no to this precious boy? (can you tell I love beel yet)

but as time progresses, you two also start having conversations that are longer and about other things

to the point where sometimes,,, it seems that Beel just forgets that he came to the kitchen for food and talks to you endlessly

he doesn’t completely lose his appetite

but he does notice it seems less important at times

and that’s where he’s like :o i caught feelings

being the sweet boy he is he decides to just be honest with you

but part of him is also really insecure

I mean, he eats so much and it’s not that he’s worried about his body, but he does feel like his constant hunger takes away his personality

he just doesn’t want to be boring but he’s afraid he might be exactly that

but when he tells you about his feelings and you say you feel the same, he’s happpier than ever!!

will pull you into a big big hug bc he’s  so happy

then sees your face is about to explode so in worry that he hurt you he’ll immediately let go

“Y/n are you okay?”

he’s the sweetest boyfriend you could ask for

fuck i’m so soft Lucifer is my fave i swear

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

NSFW Alphabet: Crosshair

A/N: Not officially a request, but I thought I’d better cover the whole Bad Batch while I’m at it. And as a reminder, remember to REBLOG AND COMMENT IF YOU LIKE THIS!!! The tumblr tags are fickle at best and it’s the only real way to support creators on this hellsite.

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

He’s always stuck between wanting to keep your body against him, but at the same time not wanting to come across as needy. He’ll probably start kissing your shoulders and neck, before nipping at the skin and telling you to go take a shower. Once you do, he’ll try to play it cool like, “you can stick around if you want, not that I care either way”. But, he does. He does care.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He likes your waist. Odd, but true. It’s the natural place to put his hands when he pulls you close to him. He likes the way you shiver when he runs his fingers along your skin. Not to mention it’s the perfect place to grip you as his fucks you senseless.

For himself, he likes his legs. Yeah, they’re not as thick or muscular compared to regs, but they’re distinctly his. Plus even if he’s not any taller, it helps with the illusion that he is.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

His favorite place to cum is all over your chest and stomach. Seeing you a sweating, blissed out mess with his cum sticking to your skin is the single hottest image his mind can come up with. Second only to you hazily swiping his cum onto you finger and sucking with a moan.

You better be prepared if you do that because you won’t be able to walk the next day.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He has an impressive collection of dirty holos you’ve sent to him while away on missions.  He’s kept every single one.  It’s gotten to the point where he just picks a random holo and that’s the fantasy he indulges in to get himself off until he can see you again.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Like the rest of the batch, he’s had a pretty healthy string of one night stands since leaving Kamino. He actually has the most notches on his bed post which he is not ashamed to bring up whenever Wrecker is getting just a little too cocky. So, he’s pretty experienced all things considered.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Taking you from behind and against a wall. That’s the popular image of him in the fandom and I’m ain’t here to dispute it.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Not funny, but he’s definitely a smug asshole who can’t help but comment on every sound you make.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He keeps it pretty well groomed down there, almost complete shaven.  Also, dark hair down below, if you’re curious. 

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

It’s very rare for Crosshair to be emotional in bed.  He uses sex more as a way to get rid of tension or get a solid hit of dopamine.  Actually being open with someone is not something he’s comfortable with.

The most intimate he gets is when he feels he might lose you, either in the field or to another man.  Then, he uses it as a way to assure himself you’re with him and his. In that case, it can get pretty intense.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He jacks off often, before and after meeting you.  He’s got a higher sex drive than his brothers and needs someway to work off the tension after a mission.  He prefers doing it in the shower when he has the time, but he’ll honestly whip it out anyplace where he can get some privacy for fifteen minutes.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Let it be recorded that Crosshair is not only a Dom, but the only true Dom in entire Grand Army of the Republic. (With the exception of Commander Wolffe.)

Seriously, the man likes nothing more than pinning you down and using your body as his personally fuck toy.  His ultimate fantasy is keeping you tied up in various positions, your body spread open and willing for him to use whenever the mood strikes him.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Anywhere with a relatively flat surface. I cannot emphasize how much he does not care where he does it: bedroom, shower, locker room, bar bathroom, sparring room, between a couple of boulders out of view of the rest of the Bad Batch. He does not care.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

His ego...let me explain.

There are two ways to really get him going, but they both come down to how they effect his ego.

Number one, praise.  If you compliment him on a shot, confirm that he did, in fact, beat Wrecker at something, or rasp a dirty promise in his ear that he’s the only man who has ever made you cum that hard; that’ll get him going more than anything.

Number two, jealously.  If he sees another man actively flirting with you, he’ll all but sling you over his shoulder and carry you to the closest abandoned alley he can find to fuck you senseless.  He doesn’t care if you were interested in the guy flirting with you or not, you’re his and he needs to remind himself and you of that.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Humiliation for him is a no go. There’s the more obvious stuff, like the idea of you putting him on a leash or something equally degrading just gets him frustrated, and not in a sexy way.  But, more specifically verbal humiliation. He genuinely gets upset if you’re the one to say he’s not good enough for you in some capacity or compare him negatively to somebody else. That’ll kill the mood in seconds.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Much prefers receiving to giving.  Seeing you on your knees with his cock in your mouth his heaven.  And being able to cum all over your face and chest when he’s done? He’s in heaven.

That being said, he’s not bad at giving, he just ends up mostly using his fingers while he runs his mouth.  He can’t help it.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and rough, like all the time.  He basically has no other mode.  Now, whether it’s more intense with pent up emotions or a fun stress reliever depends on his mood.  Either way, if you’re not a sweating, panting mess by the end of it he feels like he’s failed in some way.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Yes.  He’s going to say yes to quickies.  Where ever and whenever is good for him.  But, don’t think it’s really over when it’s over.  He only considers it a preview of what he’s going to do to you once you actually get some time and a little more privacy.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He’s certainly willing to try different positions and kinks, but he’s not big on getting more toys in the mix.  He’s more than happy to tie you up and spank you, but he’s not so keen on adding a paddle or something like that, if that makes any kind of sense.  It’s about his body and what he can do to you.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Just as good as every other clone, with a fantastic recovery time. A solid average of three rounds per night lasting as long as either of you can stand it.

That all being said, he’s in constant competition with himself on how long he can last and for how many rounds.

Current record for time is two hours before he came once with you cumming a total of five times. Current round total is him cumming five times in one night while you lost count of yours.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Surprisingly not his thing. He’s got some cuffs he uses on occasion with you, but not much else. Like I said, he’s in competition with himself, not him and a toy.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He doesn’t tease often, but when he does, he’s an asshole.  He’ll keep you pinned down, lazily rubbing the tip of his cock against your opening, never fully going in until you’re squirming and begging him to just fuck you already.  Sometimes he will and sometimes, he’ll leave you hanging there.  It all depends on his mood.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not especially. In the beginning he keeps it almost conversational, as he talks dirty into your ear. But, it all changes when he comes to the end. It’s like whatever control he had over his vocal cords gets shut off. He curses a lot combined with grunts and borederline feral growls as he rams his cock harder and deeper into you.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Crosshair has a real jealously streak, especially when it comes to regs. 

While he’s confident in his abilities, he’s aware more than Wrecker or even Tech that they’re basically a bunch of freaks the Republic likes to keep under wraps.  A funny little lab experiment.  While regs were made just as much as he was, they actually have a chance at being...well, normal after all is said and done.  He’s not sure he’ll ever be normal.  So, the fear of you realizing you’re dating an actual freak of nature weighs on him constantly.

He needs to remind himself that you’re with him, that you chose him and you’re not going to walk away.  It drives him crazy that you make him feel that way, but it’s the truth.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Just as long as his clone brothers (a solid 8-inches), but not as thick.  Not that he need that extra edge.  His talent is precision after all.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

I’d say he has the highest of the batch, actually getting agitated if he hasn’t had a good fuck in more than a few days.  His hand can only do so much for him before he gets down right hostile.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I’d say it takes him a solid half-hour to finally fall asleep after sex. He’d never tell you, but he likes the feeling of you asleep in his arms. He’ll savor it for as long as he can.

[slade-neko]

Saw this video game tag thing pop up on my dash a few days ago. Wanted to do it.

1. First game you played obsessively? Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, I believe I was 5yo. Still waiting on that FF7 Remake treatment.

2. A game that has influenced you creatively? Writing, drawing, etc. Well if I play a game and like it, then I'll create sims of it. Does that count?

3. Who did you play with as a kid? My brother from the day I was born.

4. Who do you play with now? My brother FROM THE DAY I WAS BORN.

5. Ever use cheat codes? I wasn't lying when I made this post. {link}

6. Ever buy strategy guides? Yes! Mainly to look at the artwork though. (Don't need no guide!)

7. Any games you have multiple copies of? Lots of games, most being Left 4 Dead with 6 copies (3 Xbox 360, 1 PC case, 2 PC digitally.) What can I say, its a GOOD GAME!

8. Rarest/Most expensive game in your collection? Gold cartridge Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time (maybe that's rare?)

9. Most regrettable purchase? I don't regret my purchases, but I have received games I have never played like Cubix (PS2) no clue where that game came from, but I have it somehow. Madagascar (Xbox 360) came with my Xbox 360, never opened it from its case. And Monsters Inc. Scream Arena (Gamecube) or something... it was a gift.

10. Ever go to a midnight game release or stand in line for hours? No, because then I'd have to interact with people.

11. Have you ever made new friends from playing video games? I'm only friends with people BECAUSE of video games, so yes.

12. Ever get picked on for liking games? No, that'd be ridiculous.

13. A game you’ve never played that everyone else has? Probably a lot, I'd say Call of Duty, but I technically played CoD 1, 2, and 4. The campaign mode was alright, but I don't really care for CoD games at ALL.

14. Favorite game music? Koji Kondo and Grant Kirkhope are two BIG ones.

15. If it was a requirement to get a game related tattoo, what would you pick? Triforce is the most basic option, but I'd rather not get a tattoo.

16. Favorite game to play with your friends IRL? Super Smash Bros. Brawl with hacks, but that was over a decade ago.

17. Ever lose a friend over a game? No, that'd be ridiculous.

18. Would you date someone that hates gaming? No, that'd be RIDICULOUS.

19. Favorite handheld console? PSP. 3DS is great, but PSP Monster Hunter has ALL of my portable gaming memories. Like playing in school after End of Grade tests with my friend.

20. Game that you know like the back of your hand? Sims 4 I like to think I know everything about Left 4 Dead. Quite a bit about Monster Hunter, more so of a series though than a specific game.

21. Game that you didn’t like or understand as a kid but love now? I'd say Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic. I loved it as a kid, but had a lot of complex pen & paper RPG mechanics that I never understood. I understand a lot more of it now, but its still complex as all heck. I just know you hit things, they die.

22. Do you wear game related clothing/accessories? That's the only thing I wear.

23. The game that you’ve logged the most hours into? Not sure so I'll list a few. Sims 4, Smash Bros. Brawl, Monster Hunter (its a series though), or Left 4 Dead

24. First Pokemon game? Leaf Green

25. Were you ever an arcade game player? No, don't like paying to play.

26. Ever form any gaming rivalries? No.

27. Game that makes you rage? I don't get mad at games, but I had a custom modded Hard Eight mutation in Left 4 Dead that is absolute bullsh*t!

28. Ever play in a tournament? No, because then I'd have to interact with people.

29. What is your gaming set up? A giant wall of video game consoles spanning from NES to Switch, 4 TVs, but I sit at a desk with a PC.

30. How many consoles do you own? "I own every console that's ever existed." - I Don't Play Games When I Play Games (My STRENTH) original song by Smooth McGroove BUT no seriously I own 32 consoles including handhelds.

31. Does the 3DS and/or Virtual Boy hurt your eyes or give you headaches? Yes. 3DS gave me headaches though I only really played with the 3D feature in Ocarina of Time 3D. I think my eyes broke because I couldn't get my 3D to work very well after.

32. Did you ever play a game based on your favorite show/cartoon/movie/comic? Sure I play games based on a lot of things. Literally any anime game. If I had to pick Dragon Ball Xenoverse is kinda like a dream Dragon Ball game. Oh, Attack on Titan 2 is pretty neat too!

33. Did you ever have any bootleg games or plug-n-play games? Some SEGA plug-n-play thing once. Played it like once and now its lost to time (or my closet.)

34. Do either of your parents play video games? Yes. Mom and Dad played NES Super Mario Bros. My Dad went HARD at that game until he saved the Princess. Then he quit forever.

35. Ever work in a game store? Or do you have a favorite game shop? "Hi. Welcome to Gamestop!"I never want to hear that again, but it was my main store until I went full digital/ online orders.

36. Have you ever shed actual blood, sweat or tears over a game? No, I don't tend to get upset or emotional, but Bill dying in Left 4 Dead made me pretty pissed.

37. Have you played E.T. for the Atari 2600? Do you think that’s the worst game ever, or do you have another nomination? Never played it. I don't really play "bad" games, but maybe Sims 4.

38. A game you’re ashamed to admit that you like? The Sims 4

39. A sequel that you would die for them to make? Dragon's Dogma 2 WHICH I think is actually in development, so I'd have to say Fallout New Vegas 2. C'mon Bethesda you cowards, hand the keys back over to Obsidian so they can make another good Fallout game!

40. What to you think of virtual reality headsets or motion controls? Two part question, two answers. VR Headset to immerse in world, yes. Motion Controls, no.

41. A genre that you just can’t get into? MOBAs and MMOs. I don't like paying to keep playing.

42. Maybe it wasn’t your first game, but what was the game that started you on your path to nerdiness? Nintendo 64 opened me up to what video games could be as a kid. Sad to say my parents' NES didn't really do that for me. And years later Fallout 3 was a big game changer for me too.

43. Ever play games when you really should have been concentrating on something else? Every day of my LIFE.

44. Arcade machine that has consumed the most of your quarters? None. I'd rather emulate.

45. How are you at Mario Kart? Pretty dang good. 3-STARS MARIO KART WII, BABY!

46. Do you like relaxing games like Animal Crossing or Harvest Moon? Yes, both of those. I preferred when Animal Crossing had more character to it. New Horizons looks so pretty, but feels so bland compared to classic AC.

47. Do you like competitive games? No. Not really. Usually amongst friends or if I can get competitive against AI Bots. I love my machine bot friends cause they don't cry like 10 year olds when they lose.

48. How long does it take your to customize your player character? Too long. I've seriously restarted games because I wasn't happy with my character's appearance.

49. In games where you can pick your class, do you always tend to go for the same type of character? Yes, I am always the magic man, my brother is always brute warrior, and my friend is the ranger.

50. If you were a game designer, what masterpiece would you create? I don't really know. Honestly, I'd rather mod already good games to make them better than create something completely new.

51. Have you ever played a game for so long that you forgot to eat or sleep? No, that'd be ridiculous. But I've had a friend fall asleep playing games at my house 3 different times and currently dozes off during our Minecraft sessions. So, maybe that's not a completely ridiculous thing after all.

52. A game that you begged your parents for as a kid? Kirby 64 apparently. My brother tells me we had to count out pennies to buy it. I must've been too young with no recollection, but I believe it.

53. What’s your opinion on DLC these days? It's good if its not in the game's files from the beginning and is actually developed AFTER launch... and pre-order bonuses should be standard DLC a month or two later. Some games have content lost to time because of that pre-order bullsh*t.

54. Do you give in to Steam sales? Of course. If you want a game and its on sale then why not? I typically wait just for Steam sales to get games.

55. Did you ever make someone you hated in the Sims and did mean stuff to them? No? I typically make people and characters I like in Sims. I've made villains like Dio, but he's an anime villain and I don't really HATE him despite the horrible things he's done.

56. Did you ever play Roller Coaster Tycoon and kill off your guests? No. Never played that game.

57. Did you ever play a game to 100% or get all of the achievements? I try to for all the games I really like.

58. If you can only play 3 games for the rest of your life, which ones do you pick? The Sims 4, Skyrim, & Fallout: New Vegas. Mods make them live forever. Left 4 Dead and Monster Hunter are good choices too.

59. Do you play any cell phone games? Those aren't games.

60. Do you know the Konami Code? No? But I'll take a guess. Is it make an IP and forget it exists?

61. Do you trade in your games or keep them forever? Keep forever... even the bad ones.

62. Ever buy a console specifically to play one game? PS4 Pro for Monster Hunter World. It was basically for early access since the PC version was being developed and releasing after PS4, but I don't like waiting.

63. Ever go to a gaming convention or tournament? Sort of. Been to anime cons and walked into the gaming tournament rooms only to walk out less than 10 minutes later.

64. Ever make a TV or monitor purchase based on what would be best for gaming? No, but I'm going to be doing that soon, hopefully.

65. Ever have a Game Genie, Game Shark or Action Replay? Did it ever mess up your game’s save file? GameShark for N64, PS2, Gameboy, and Action Replay for Gamecube, DS, 3DS. And no not really, I would cheat responsibly... but there was this one time at school my friend and I borrowed another friend's Gameboy game, loaded it up with my Gameshark, tried playing, it crashed, loaded it back up, save file corrupted... we just stared at each other jaws dropped, "Here's your game back, dude. Make sure you don't play it til you get back home!"

66. Did you ever have have an old Nokia with Snake on it? No, but I remember seeing them on billboards in the game DRIV3R on PS2.

67. Do you have a happy gaming-related childhood memory you want to share? Every game I play is filled with happy memories (mostly.)

68. Ever save up a ton of tickets in an arcade to get something cool? These tiger plushes. My brother got white and I got orange. They were the coolest. Got a butt load of tickets from some jackpot spinning light game thing as I was good at the timing with repeated jackpot hits.

69. In your opinion, best game ever made? I've played quite a few masterpiece games, but to pick one, I'd say Fallout: New Vegas

70. Very first game you ever beat? Super Mario 64. I was a mere child on a Sunday morning and ate celebratory pancakes made by my Dad.

Wow, that was long... I get the feeling this was supposed to be a "send me ask with numbers" thing, but answering all at once is more fun.

[adobe-outdesign]

It's time once more. Based off of the summaries, which Step Closer stories were good and which ones were not so good?

Step Closer: This one’s frustrating, because we got really close to having a solid story here - guy is a jackass, gets cursed, curse is completed by the end. It has a solid follow-through that most of the other stories lack (for example, the end of Lonely Freddy has little to nothing to do with the beginning set-up). HOWEVER, there are quite a few problems that we run into:

First, what does a curse have to do with FNAF? Why is this following To Be Beautiful where there’s just literal magic now?

For a story centering around Foxy Foxy is barely in it

Not as important but why is this called “Step Closer”? It has nothing to do with the story

Chuck’s characterization seems inconstant in how he views his brother

And whoo boy, that ending:

Why is he possessing his own corpse? He never got injected with remnant. And if the remnant isn’t important, then why did FFPS establish it?

Not a big fan of stories that play up organ donation as something horrifying. We already have a severe lack of organ donators as it is, we don’t need fear mongering chasing more people away

“just got a call in, someone needs an eye and a hand” uh, bullshit? there are like year-long waiting lists for organs

also, a hand and an eye wouldn’t be urgent anyway because you can live without both of those things fairly easily, compared to something like a kidney

Internal organs are taken out first because they die pretty quickly compared to everything else. Things like eyes and skin come afterward

Why can’t he move? Michael literally has no bones and he can move no problem, same with GF. Actually I can answer this one: it’s lazy writing because if he could move it would ruin the payoff and force the story to continue on so they just ignored rules of canon

HANDS AREN’T EVEN TAKEN FROM ORGAN DONATORS

The thing is that all of this is easy to fix. Here, watch:

During a visit to Freddy’s Pete threatens his brother Chuck by forcing him to get close to Foxy while he’s active. Foxy malfunctions and starts repeating the phrase “You’ll make a fine pirate, but first you’ll have to loose an arm and a leg”. Pete returns to Freddy’s day after day, and keeps having close encounters with those body parts - he almost gets his hand crushed in the pinball machine, Foxy malfunctions and nearly gouges out his eye, etc. (basically implying the “curse” is poltergeisting by one of the kids, who were upset by the bullying).

He’s wracked with paranoia over time and believes this is karma for threatening Chuck. He finally stays home from Freddy’s and apologizes to his brother, admitting that it was wrong to scare him and that he doesn’t hate him, which Chuck accepts. Now feeling like his “curse” has been lifted he leaves to go to Freddy’s again, only to be hit by a car on the way there. Cut to the medics inspecting the corpse on the scene, who note that his eye and hand are mangled beyond recognition. End it on the reveal and let the suspense and realization do the talking rather than just focusing on shock value.

Dance With Me: The last section was long so I’ll try to keep this brief. This story has little to actually do with Ballora, it has more magic bullshit, and nothing particularly interesting happens. Ballora just basically t-poses at a kid until she gives up someone’s purse. Riveting. It’s not even really a FNAF story at all and there’s no real horror in it as Ballora doesn’t do shit. It’s not audacious enough to really be bad, it’s just a solid “meh” that you’ll forget about soon after reading it. Ballora deserves better

Coming Home: Everyone keeps praising this as the greatest FNAF story ever written, praise Scott, but I think it’s just decent? It’s by no means bad, and in fact speaking from an objective standpoint it’s probably the best story in these books so far. It’s emotional, actually focuses on the dead children and MCI (you know, the things that make FNAF FNAF), and has a satisfying ending.

But with that said, I do have some issues. First, this might not be fair to the story, but the mere fact that it’s an AU rather than a canon story kind of pisses me off. We could’ve gotten actual canon characterization for one of the ghost kids along with lore reveals, but no, Scott’s allergic to focusing on old characters so we just have some random AU that only parallels the event. Which in turn means I don’t care as much as I should, because none of this actually happens in canon. It’s not even canon-divergent like TSE, it’s just a random AU (and unlike TSE, which focuses on Charlie, there’s no canon characters in this either).

Also, what the fuck was up with the bullshit about Chica coming by to claim Susie’s soul? Like, the fuck was that a thing? Doesn’t that like, kind of completely ruin the point of the games? The entire point was that these poor kids are trapped possessing these animatronics who have to stay in the pizzeria they died in, driven mad with grief and blindly trying to kill the nightguard because they think he’s their killer. It’s incredibly sad and haunting. Here, the kids can just leave whenever and go wherever they please, and for some reason it’s the animatronics who are doing the killing, despite it never being implied that the classics are even sentient on their own, and also allowed to walk around the neighborhood with attracting attention??? And I realize this is an AU and it doesn’t have to affect canon, but that’s the problem with these damn parallels - I have literally no idea what’s supposed to be canon or not.

And while that might not sound like such a big deal if you take the story isolated on its own, I’d argue it makes this less of a FNAF story. I know that sounds weird when I just said that this was more of a FNAF story than the others, but I say that because it focuses on the right themes, right setting, right events, right emotions, etc. But by having the ghosts just wander around, it kind of takes the uniqueness of FNAF - the possessed animatronics - and turns it into a generic ghost story. I’ve read this kind of story before about ghosts being freed by close loved ones, it’s nothing new, and with the animatronics barely around it’s really not as true to FNAF as it could be, even if all the elements are there. Even the way Susie is freed is just by giving her her doll, it has nothing to do with the pizzeria, the animatronics, etc. Like I said, this one’s good overall, I just don’t think it’s a masterpiece like everyone else does, even if it is probably the best of all the stories (then again, that’s not saying much).

TL;DR: Step Closer is sort of goodish-but-not-that-great-kind-of-between-good-and-meh, Dance With Me is a solid Meh, and Coming Home is flawed but good overall. So it’s goodish-meh-good, which places it slightly above Fetch as the best book as a whole.

[fuckingthefictional]

Cross my heart - part 12

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OFC, John Shelby (platonic) x OFC

Warnings: talking about the experiences of the war- so violence, trauma, etc. Injuries, arguing.

A/N have an extra long chapter that hasn’t been proof read!

Previous//Next

“Alright home-time everyone, you are dismissed.”

There was a scrape of stools on hardwood floor and the patter of children’s feet as they all attempted to leave the classroom.

Once they had all left, Eliza began to pick up the sand trays that had been left on each child’s desk for writing practice.

She found the idea to be useful, it cut back on costs and waste with the littluns- but personally Eliza hated sand. It was corse and rough and it got everywhere. She swore she’d find sand in her socks or shoes months after using the sand trays.

“Aunt Liza?”

She looked towards the doorway where Katie and Eddie were stood, book bags slung over their shoulders.

Eliza smiled, “Give me five minutes and I’ll be ready to go- I just need to tidy these trays away quickly.” She pointed to where their younger brother sat on the front desk that belonged to her, “why don’t you help your brother pack his things away?”

Placing the trays on a desk closest to the supply cupboard, she put the rickety closet stool on the floor.

Eliza clambered up onto the stool, it wobbled out precariously as it struggled to maintain the weight that had been placed on it.

She reached down for the trays and put the small pile on a shelf.

Well she tried to.

Even with the stool, Eliza was too short. She tried to stretch a tiny bit further to no avail.

She tried one last time, as she went onto the tips of her toes.

And then her knee buckled and she fell onto the floor with a crash.

The three Shelby children immediately ran over to the woman on the floor, who was clutching at her leg in pain.

Each of them started asking numerous different questions at the rate of a mile a minute.

It caused Eliza’s already pain dazed thoughts to become even more muddled.

It took her a moment to realise that Eddie had run off to find his Father or one of his uncles.

Katie just stroked the older woman’s hair comfortingly, something she had seen Aunt Polly do to Ada whenever she was upset or in pain.

And little Matthew just tucked himself into Eliza’s middle section. He had a hand clamped around his exposed ear- the sudden loud noise must’ve set him off.

She tried to comfort the young child, who had retreated into her shirt. But the searing pain around her knee was front and centre and the first thing on her mind.

Eliza felt hurt and frustrated at herself, she knew that her left leg would probably always be weaker than her right, and probably be more prone to giving way.

A shattered knee cap would do that to a person- Eliza just wanted to be normal, independent and care free.

But instead she was weak and broken, she wanted to cry out of frustration but decided against it as she was in the midst of two children.

She just kept blinking away tears as the three of them waited for someone to come and help.

Her thoughts were broken when Eddie burst back into the room, a frantic Tommy Shelby trailing behind him.

As soon as she locked eyes with him, his whole stature changed to that of a dog, with its tail tucked between its legs in shame.

“Kids go home.”

“But uncle tommy-“ they tried to protest and fight their plea, but Tommy wasn’t having any of it.

“I said go home- or back to Aunt Polly.” He have the children a long hard Look, “You understand that?”

They all nodded reluctantly as they scarpered off, no doubt to tell the other Shelby’s of what had just happened.

It was just Eliza and Tommy in the room now. And she wanted nothing more than to be on her own.

Eliza would rather be in severe physical pain, than go through the turmoil of having to be within a meter of the man.

“How’s Grace?”

Tommy’s head snapped to her direction, a look of disbelief apparent on his features.

“Are you fuckin’ joking Eliza?” He stepped forward in her direction, “Eddie was in a right state when ‘e found me, told me you were hurt and the first thing you ask is ‘how’s Grace’.”

“It’s called exchanging pleasantries Mr.Shelby.” Eliza grit back as she tried to move her leg.

Tommy obviously hadn’t liked her attitude and bit back at her, “In that case then, how’s John?”

Fucking arse

Eliza pushed herself into a stand, her leg screamed for her to stop but her pride, determination and overall anger at Tommy pushed her through the physical pain.

She hobbled out of the classroom and pushed open the entrance doors.

A few moments after she heard the door close, they opened again. He was following her- she sped up as fast as her leg was willing. But it wasn’t enough.

“Eliza.”

She kept walking.

“Eliza for fucks sake-“

“LEAVE ME ALONE TOMMY.” She screamed at him, tears flooded her eyes and her breath shook.

Tommy looked taken a back, he stepped forwards trying to reach for her, “Eliza I’m...” He couldn’t finish, he didn’t have the heart to.

“What Tommy?” She sobbed, “You’re sorry for what exactly?” She continued, aware that the street was emptying at a rapid rate due to the dark heavy clouds that had started to roll in, “Sorry for choosing Grace over me? Sorry for calling me a whore? Sorry for hurting me? Sorry for taking everything I worked for, away from me? Sorry for making me fall for someone like you?” Eliza was becoming more and more erratic, “TELL ME!”

The rain started to pour in sheets of icy buckets, it chilled them to their bones. But they were both to caught up in their emotions to care.

Eliza’s knee began to buckle, she felt her legs crumple beneath her again. Only this time she didn’t fall to the floor, instead Tommy caught her and held her close.

Eliza began to hit his chest in anger and sadness, chanting over and over again how she hated him.

It broke Tommy’s heart again and again, but he let her.

Tommy’s arms began to engulf the crying woman in an embrace as he kissed her head and stroked her hair sopping wet hair soothingly as he repeated the words, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” And for once he meant it.

//

Eliza woke up warm and dry. And in a bed that most definitely was not hers. Her hair had been braided- unlike before when it was pinned up. And she had different clothes on.

A baggy shirt which was about twice the size of her, cloaked her frame. But the material wasn’t big and empty, it felt welcoming and comforting.

It smelt of tobacco and alcohol and made her feel warm.

She looked around her, as she took a few seconds to allow herself to take in her surroundings.

The room was unfamiliar, but the small lumps that were curled up next to her were not.

Katie, Eddie, Matthew and Finn were all fast asleep on the bed with her, each of them shared a blanket or two and they all looked peaceful in their sleep.

Their chests rose and fell, as their breathing repeated a steady and soft mantra of sleep.

“They were waiting for you to wake up.”

Eliza turned to the voice. Tommy was on the floor, his back and head were up against the wall and his eyes closed.

“But they fell asleep trying.”

The young woman looked at the sight before her, Eddie and Finn shared a blanket towards the foot of the bed, they leant against each other. Obviously having drifted off in that position from when they had been awake.

It was definitely clear that Eddie was John’s child, as the boy drooled just as John did when he was asleep (as much as he tried to dismiss it.)

Katie was on her back, arms stretched out, spread eagled. Eliza could hear the soft snores coming from her as the girl fidgeted in her sleep.

Matthew was the last child that Eliza found in her bed, he was curled up in a tight ball and nestled into her body, his thumb was in his mouth as he suckled softly on it and his face had a soft rosy flush to it.

Eliza smiled at the sleeping figures on her bed, “They’re good kids,” she said, “John did well with them.”

Tommy snorted from his place on the floor, “‘course you’d say that.” His feelings of bitterness and jealousy shone through, despite how he was acting before.

Although Eliza wasn’t looking at him, she could tell he was rolling his eyes, “Forever speaking highly of our John.”

Tommy’s voice was laced with bitterness.

Eliza had had enough of his attitude towards her, she had done nothing to the man and here he was acting like a twat.

“Y’know Thomas, sometimes I think that these,” she motioned to the sleeping children on the bed, “Are more mature than you.”

Tommy laugher shortly, “is that so?”

“Yes.” Eliza replied simply, “you have the ability to be an absolute twat all of the damn time- and I’m sick of it.” She ranted on, “And don’t go using your past as an excuse, because there are plenty of us who fought in the war that don’t purposely act like an absolute cock every waking minute of the day.”

From her place on the bed, Eliza could see Tommy’s jaw lock in frustration and anger.

He was seemingly biting down on his tongue, trying to stop himself from saying something else.

“You don’t know me- so don’t make assumptions on things you don’t understand.”

Eliza was beginning to become frustrated, she was being treated like a little girl- like she was incapable of winning this fight.

“The assumptions I’ve made, are based off of the actions and attitude you’ve given.” Eliza spat out, “So I can deem you to be an absolute arse.”

Tommy laughed shortly again and he shook his head, “You’re a bitch, Y’know that?”

“Aye well,” Eliza paused and looked the man dead in the eyes, “better a bitch than an agent of the crown.”

He shuffled forward, and Eliza braced herself, shielding the smaller bodies on the bed. Tommy was going to hurt her.

Although she didn’t realise it, tears had started gathering in her eyes.

He stopped at the edge of the bed frame, his face portraying a look of mortification, “did you,” he paused, almost not believing himself, “did you think I was going to hurt you?”

Eliza choked back a sob and shrugged, “wouldn’t be the first time, would it Tommy?

He fell to his knees, knowing she was right. He took one of Eliza’s hands in his larger one, it was rough and calloused and his fingers brushed against her knuckles as soft as he could manage.

The other wiped the tears away from Eliza’s cheek.

Eliza didn’t know why but she felt her head tilt into his palm, accepting his small touch of affection.

“Why do you make me feel like this?” She whispered, “you make my heart ache and my head want to explode in anger and frustration.” She saw Tommy’s head droop, “but you make my stomach flutter and my eyes light up in joy and wonder.”

“I’m broken, I hurt you- I let you be in pain.” He looked at Eliza, “I’m not a good man.”

“You’re too good of a man for Grace, you deserve better.” She spat, her hatred for Grace was extremely apparent in her words.

Tommy smirked, “What like you?”

“Maybe, at least you know I’d never hurt you or your family- I can’t say the same for her.”

“What do you mean.” His eyebrows furrowed.

“She’s going to break your heart and spirit Tommy, and I don’t want to have to pick up the pieces.” Eliza tilted his chin up, “let common sense take control Tommy- then it’ll all make sense.”

TAGLIST: @marvelschriss @eternallyvenus @peachy-aisha

[axelxmartinez]

(Hi I love to plot, hit me up and let’s chat!)

Introduction @redridgeimp​

FULL NAME:  Axel Jose Diego Martinez

NICKNAMES(S):  Axe, Ax, Diablo

AGE:  33

DATE OF BIRTH:  October 30th, 1986

PLACE OF BIRTH:  Red Ridge, Nevada

CURRENT LOCATION:  Red Ridge, Nevada.

ETHNICITY:  Latino. Mexican primarily and his mother was partially Caucasian (European descent), as well as Mexican and Dominican.

GENDER:  Cis male.

PRONOUNS:  He/him/his.

SEXUAL ORIENTATION:  Bisexual.

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION:  quoiromantic

RELIGION:  Atheist.

OCCUPATION:  Owner of Roberto's and Bone breaker for Valencia.

EDUCATION LEVEL:  he dropped out of high school in the beginning of 11th grade. 

EXTRACURRICULAR:  Boxing, lifting weights, playing video games, occasionally reading

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS:  Owns his parents house, a medium sized single family home with 4 bedrooms, an unfinished basement, nothing to brag about on the south side of redridge

SPEAKING VOICE AND ACCENT:  Deep, smooth voice with a hint of a Spanish accent, especially when he's angry. Normally keeps a steady tone, unless he’s really upset about something.

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, ETC.

FACECLAIM: Manny Montana 

HAIR COLOR AND STYLE:  black, shaved short

COMPLEXION:  Brown on the lighter side with neutral undertones

EYE COLOR:  Brown.

EYESIGHT: 20/30 the last time he checked, he probably could use corrective lenses for driving or reading something but he doesn’t bother with it.

HEIGHT:  6’1” or 185cm

WEIGHT:  169lbs or 77kg

BODY AND BUILD:  Muscular, lean, well-defined muscles. 

TATTOOS: tons, he gets them at random and the only theme to them is that they are black and white. The obvious ones most people see are the skull on his throat and the ones on his fingers and hands. (See his pinterest linked at the bottom for more ideas in this area)

PIERCINGS: none, he fights too much to have piercings.

CLOTHING STYLE:  jeans, hoodies, t-shirts, flannels, button down shirts, primarily black for everything. 

DISTINGUISHING CHARACTERISTICS:  tattoos all over his body, small linear scar on his eyebrow where no hair grows, various scars all over his body - some covered with tattoos and some not. Also wears necklaces and rings, has a few random bracelets made by his nieces and nephews.

HEALTH.

MENTAL DISORDER(S):  ADD is all he’s been diagnosed with, though he likely has an anxiety disorder as well. 

PHYSICAL DISORDER(S):  none

ALLERGIES:  the pollen gets to him in the spring but he just ignores it

SLEEPING HABITS:  insomniac, he sleeps in small shifts between work and whatever he’s doing during the day. 

EATING HABITS:  Axel has a high metabolism so he eats a lot and often, he tends to pick things up while he’s moving around town and keeps protein bars and snacks in his car for in between meals

SOCIABILITY: extroverted introvert, he tends to be around people but doesn’t go out of his way to strike up conversation unless he feels it necessary, knows the person already, or is spoken to first. 

BODY TEMPERATURE:  neutral.

ADDICTIONS:  Nicotine, Caffeine, some would argue he drinks a little too much but he doesn’t think so.

DRUG USE:  Depends on the drug. He smokes marijuana frequently, but anything else is occasionally and he refuses to touch needles or anything made purely from chemicals (i.e. Meth). 

ALCOHOL USE:  Frequently, usually has a drink or two everyday. Sometimes more, sometimes less. He prefers brandy and tequila but also enjoys beer and will always accept a free drink regardless of what it is.

PERSONALITY.

POSITIVE TRAITS:  Hardworking, Efficient, Honest, Strong, Confident, Curious

NEGATIVE TRAITS:  Callous, Insensitive, Secretive, Possessive, Withdrawn, Stubborn

LIKES:  Fighting, good food, drinking, video games, smoking, sex, most things physical, some reading, fire

DISLIKES:  Schools, authority (mainly police), drama, airplanes, inactivity

FEARS: His only fear that he could ever pinpoint was his father.

HABITS: Plays with his fingers, touches his face, staring without talking, smoking, rain

ASTROLOGY:  Scorpio Sun, Sagittarius Rising, Libra Moon

PERSONALITY TYPE:  INTJ

MORAL ALIGNMENT:  Chaotic Neutral

HOGWARTS HOUSE:  Slytherin.

ELEMENT:  Fire

WEATHER: Overcast or Sunny

COLOR:  Black

MUSIC:  Rock, Metal, 90’s hip hop

MOVIE:  Documentaries or Action movies

SPORT:  Baseball and Soccer

BEVERAGE:  Brandy or Tequila

FOOD:  Waffles

ANIMAL: Snake

SEASON:  Summer

FAMILY, RELATIONSHIPS, ETC.

MOTHER: Antonia Martinez (Rodriguez)  

FATHER:  Roberto Martinez, deceased

SIGNIFICANT OTHER:  none

SIBLING(S):  5 younger siblings, names and ages vague for future wc

CHILDREN:  TBD

PET(S): Ball Python named Slinky

PROMPT.

“ROUTINE”: violence tw, death tw

Ever since he was a teenager, Axel has worked at Roberto’s. At his father’s insistence to teach him some responsibility, as the owner, it was common for him to hire his children and other relatives because he didn’t trust anyone. When Roberto, his father, went to prison and was simultaneously killed while there, his business was given to his eldest son. Axel wasn’t very torn up about losing his father, it made his life significantly easier and allowed him to take over the role as head of the Martinez family. Something he’d been well prepared for and while he wasn’t the nicest guy, he wasn’t the psychopath Roberto was. At least, he didn’t think he was. 

With his father gone, his days started with the sun (if he even got to bed the night before). He opened the convenient store, put the money in the till for the starting shift and made sure everything was turned on and stocked from the night before. Once the first shift comes in, he usually heads to the back to double check that everything is locked up and set up for the next shift. After that is usually when he gets word of anything Valencia needs him to do that day. Even though he’s not a soldier anymore, he likes to keep busy so he picks up slack where he can. If not, he starts checking in on his younger siblings and making sure they are doing what they’re supposed to be doing and staying out of trouble. If he doesn’t have anything pressing to get done, he heads to the gym to do his usual workout and possibly some sparring to keep his endurance at peak along with his fighting technique. Afterwards, he hits up Ridge Roasters if he’s going to the North side of town and gets his coffee with a random pastry to go. Otherwise, he heads to Blue Hill Diner for a proper breakfast and chats with the staff there or scrolls through his phone. He heads back to the convenient store if they need him, otherwise he heads home for a nap or just to relax. Most days he can trust his shift supervisors or the manager to finish up the rest of the day at Roberto’s. Only on occasion does he have to cover a shift or go in to change the cash register for a shift. 

By five or six in the evening, Axel crosses the threshold of St. Peters and takes a spot at the bar. If he feels like dinner, he gets something to eat. Otherwise he has a few drinks to pass the time and watches the environment. If he’s lucky, he catches something that isn’t supposed to be happening in Redridge without approval and brings it to a higher up. Otherwise, he wastes some time before Rogue’s opens and he can go watch the fights for the night. By the time it’s his turn to get in the ring, he’s usually itching to start fighting. He’s not one to get excited about much, but once he gets sight of his ‘opponent’ a wide shark-like smile will spread across his face. Axel loves the work he gets to do with Valencia and if he could do more he would. Fighting and getting rid of people was something he specialized in, he was damn good at it, too. If he was lucky, he brought someone home with him at the end of the night. If not, he has another drink and heads back to his house to watch something on the television or, if he’s even luckier, gets a few hours of sleep before he has to wake up and repeat it all the next day. 

“REMINISCENCE”:  violence tw, alcohol tw, blood tw, death tw

“Not everyone gets to just blurt out how the feel about whoever or whatever on a fuckin’ whim, dude.” Axel spoke into his glass, the third brandy making his voice hoarse. Stuck in the reverie that his best friend had pulled from him. That afternoon they’d gotten the news that his father was found dead in the showers that morning. He was out celebrating. That man had never done anything for anyone, nothing good at least and definitely not any of his kids. Axel looked at the brown liquid in his glass and swirled it around. “Remember back in high school, that kid Jake who used to hang around sometimes?” He asked, eyes still on the glass. “We used to mess around or whatever. I was young and stupid.” He shook his head, knowing at twenty-five he wasn’t exactly old but he was a lot older than he was then. “Anyways, it had been a few months and I started talkin’ a big game like I was the boss of my house. My papi didn’t give a shit what I did or who I was with and all that. We stopped at Roberto’s after school to get some snacks or whatever. You know, same shit different day.” Axel paused and let out a slow sigh. The alcohol was getting to his head and loosening his tongue to reveal shit he’d never talked about with anyone. Most people knew his father was a prick that was quick to correct his children with his hands rather than his words, but Axel didn’t ever make it seem like it bothered him. He sure as hell didn’t let on that he harbored a great fear of the man. “We were at the counter paying, right in front of my dad and Jake tried to lean in for a kiss or somethin’ to say thank you or some shit. I just freaked out, I didn’t know what to do because that shit wasn’t goin’ to fly with Roberto Martinez. Not one of his kids. So, I pushed him away and beat his ass bloody right there for all the world to see.” He didn’t want his dad to do it and if he thought for a second that Axel was into guys he would probably shoot him on the spot. Definitely would have gotten rid of him in one way or the other. Even if he still liked girls, too. “My brother had to pull me off of him. I was so fuckin’ scared man, I just kept hittin’ him. He had to go to the hospital and his parents didn’t even press charges, they straight pulled him out of school. I never even saw him again.” Axel finished off his glass and exhaled the burn it left in his throat and chest. “Out of all the people I’ve beat in my lifetime, all the shit I’ve done, man. That’s the only one I regret. But you know the sad part?” He let out a bitter laugh. “If I could go back and do it over, I’d still beat his ass. What the fuck does that say about me?” Axel shut up after that, didn’t even really pay attention to what his friend had to say about any of it. He drowned himself in a bottle and had no idea how he got home at the end of the night. 

BACKGROUND. ( abuse tw, death tw, violence tw)

Born and raised in Redridge, oldest of six children. Some of his siblings still live in Redridge, others have left and spread around the country. He has a large extended family. They live all over the country, Mexico, and South America.

His father was a very strict man and ran his household with an iron fist. He believed his children should be seen and not heard. If one of them were to step out of line, show defiance, or generally make him angry in any way, he normally responded by correcting them physically instead of with words. He owned Roberto’s, which he started before Axel was born. Roberto was also a member of Valencia working up from street rat to lieutenant. He was arrested when Axel was twenty and died in prison when he was twenty-five.

Antonia, his mother, was a reserved woman. She was hard-working and loved her children. However, she listened to her husband and he was the head of the household. When Roberto went to prison, Axel took over the role of head of the household. His mother fell ill in his late twenties and currently lives in an assisted living facility in Redridge. Axel visits her regularly.

As for his siblings, he keeps up with all of them. One attends the community college and he is adamant that they keep up with their grades and continue their education. He keeps in almost daily touch with each and every one of them and adores his nieces and nephews. Whenever he can visit, he makes a point to but hates to fly so it is usually only once or twice a year at most for those who live outside of Nevada. 

School wasn’t Axel’s strong suit. He could never focus and everything just made him feel like he was stupid when he knew he wasn’t stupid. He just wasn’t book smart. So he dropped out right before eleventh grade and worked at Roberto’s. As soon as he was able to, he joined Valencia as a street rat and moved up the ranks to Bone-breaker once he had proven himself. However, he enjoys doing soldier work still so he will pick up any spare jobs if they are available.

As far as romance goes, Axel has never been with anyone long. He enjoys both women and men and their company, but he has a hard time letting anyone past his walls. The few times he has tried, he fucked it up in one way or another. So, he stays single and just holds casual relationships. 

He loves to fight and he is good at making people disappear, getting jobs done efficiently, and intimidation. Axel is very loyal to Valencia.

Currently, he is always on the move. He doesn’t like to be idle for long. So he is either doing work for Valencia or Roberto’s, moving around town, drinking at a bar, eating somewhere, fighting at Rogue’s, at the gym, watching fights, or sleeping in between any of those activities. 

WANTED CONNECTIONS.

Friends With Benefits/One-night Stands (unlimited): He likes physical activity and touch, he tries to pick people up often and especially after a fight. This could have been happening for a long time or just a night or be brand new. 

Best Friend (0/1): This person knows him better than anyone. They just get him and is likely the only person he’s ever opened up to. 

Close Friends (0/6): These people know him better than most, but he probably has only opened up about one or two things to them. He trusts these people and likes to be around them.

Employees: Anyone who wants to work at Roberto’s

Budding Romance (0/1): could be a fwb that progresses, someone who’s always been around but neither of them made the move to advance it past anything.

Enemies: Self explanatory, but they always butt heads in one way or another. Possibly have fought in the past, but definitely never have anything nice to say about one another.

Past relationships (0/4): People who tried to break through his walls and didn’t get through. Or they just didn’t work out for any multitude of reasons.

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/kitmeowza/c-axel-martinez/

[vadersmom1]

What is a Honeybear?

Read on ao3

When Steve and Bucky move into the house on Vine St., they were greeted by their neighbor that lived two houses down. He was a short brunette that definitely worked with his hands, Steve notes.

“Welcome to the neighborhood!” The man greets. “I’m Tony. I live two houses down. Do you need any help unpacking?”

Steve isn’t sure why, but his voice has stopped working. Bucky steps in, holding out a hand to shake. “Hi, I’m Bucky Barnes and this is my brother, Steve Rogers. We would appreciate the help.”

Tony helps them carry their last truckload of boxes into the house. By the time the last box has been set down, the three of them are laughing and talking aa if they were all old friends. Tony orders pizza from “the best pizza place in town.” When they’re finished, he tells them he has to go.

“He’s kind of cute,” Steve remarks as he and Bucky watch Tony leave.

“He is,” Bucky agrees. “Go for it.”

“I dunno. I would have to make sure he is interested. I don’t want to make our first welcoming neighbor uncomfortable with us.” Steve nudges Bucky’s shoulder. “When is Sam going to be here?”

Sam arrives about twenty minutes later, and the three of them unpack until Bucky decides he is done for the night and drags Sam to bed. Steve checks his phone and sends a quick text off to Sharon about their neighbor before he decides to follow Bucky’s example. It was a long day, and he is exhausted.

Steve keeps Sharon updated on Tony. She had broken up with him two years ago when she realized that she just wasn’t into men. Steve had had a self-realization not too long after that he liked men just as much as he liked women. Six months later, Sharon was dating their friend Maria, and she and Steve had remained friendly. Now he texts her about any new options he’s found. She’s on a long business trip at the moment and is unable to visit.

Tony hangs around a lot. Even though he owns three cars, he lives alone with a few robots, which he has named oddly. He has a DUM-E, a BUTTERFINGERS, and a U. Steve thinks he has another one, or else he names his cars because he knows he’s heard “Platypus” and “honeybear” a few times. It’s a little odd, but Steve finds it endearing. The man drinks more than his healthy share of coffee and somehow manages to injure himself on the dumbest things. If Tony lived with someone, Steve would be afraid that he’s covering up abuse. Tony is a genius – you should see (or hear) the AI that he coded and installed in his home – but he is also so dumb sometimes. He can work out long division in his head, but he has no idea why drinking orange juice right after brushing his teeth is a bad idea. Steve knows he’s smitten, and it has only been a month since they’ve moved in. Sam and Bucky think it’s hilarious and that he should just ask Tony out, but Steve is unsure.

They have had other neighbors welcome them to the neighborhood. Most of them have something to say about Tony, mostly disapproving.

Old Mrs. Oakley tells them that he gets big deliveries and floods the air with exhaust from “those big trucks.” She often wonders why he doesn’t just get them delivered to a warehouse. Steve does wonder if he works from home. He doesn’t know if he’s ever seen Tony leave to go to work.

Janice Teller brings them an apple pie that is a “secret family recipe.” She openly flirts with Steve even though he knows she has a husband and four kids. She tells Steve and Bucky that Tony is a sex addict. There are always people going in and out of his house. Steve has noticed that two read-headed women visit him a lot. Maybe he’s in a polyamorous relationship and really digs redheads.

Mr. Everton, who lives next door to Tony, complains about the noise. Apparently, Tony keeps late hours and blares classic rock and 80’s metal. Bucky just smirks and says he likes Tony’s style.

Karen Packer stops past weekly to catch them up on the latest gossip. When Bucky – to Steve’s mortification – asks if Tony is single, she leans in and tells them, “I hear he’s pansexual or something like that. What is that – attracted to skillets?” And she laughs at own very annoying joke. “Any way, whatever that means. But honestly?” Somehow, she leans in even further. “I don’t know. I think he’s more of a playboy. There have been several people who keep coming back. He did have a black – I mean, African American, I’m sorry – man living with him for a while, but he’s never around anymore. Man probably drove him away what with all his oddities. He must be a lot to deal with.” Steve wants to strangle this woman, so he lets Bucky handle her.

Jessica is a recluse who lives next door to Steve and Bucky. She’s a PI who has a home office. She’s obnoxious and mean to any who approach her, save Tony. To be honest, she is mean and obnoxious to him as well, but it’s a different tone. He returns it, and she gives a hint of a smile. Tony tells Steve and Bucky that they are drinking buddies.

Most people seem to leave Tony alone, and he does likewise. Steve wonders why, then, does Tony seem to knock on their door at 3am because he can’t sleep and needs someone to whom he can talk? They learn that Tony has nightmares from a traumatic experience, and he hates fire, the cold, and closed, dark spaces.

+++++++++++++++

Somewhere around the two-month mark of their new home, Bucky hears a knock on the back door. This is odd because their back door opens to a fenced-in yard. He opens it to find Tony in sweatpants and a flannel that he is quickly trying to button. Bucky catches some scar tissue across his chest.

“Can I help you?” He asks amusedly.

“Yes. I need you to hide me.” Tony pants. “I have someone at my house who is violating a restraining order.”

“Do you want me to call the cops?”

“No. No cops. I’m trying to stay out of the spotlight, not because of anything illegal, but because I used to be famous and I don’t want to be anymore. And she’s a stalker. She didn’t see me, so I don’t know if it’s just a lead she got, or if she really knows I’m here. Do you mind if I stay here until she leaves?” Tony asks.

“Sure. No problem. Want me to get rid of her?” Bucky asks. He knows his glare and prosthetic arm scare a lot of people.

Tony shrugs. “You can try, but she’s pretty persistent.”

Bucky and Steve look out the window blinds. There is a gorgeous woman standing at Tony’s door. After she knocks and rings the doorbell a few times, she stands on the walk, waiting. Bucky opens his door and walks over to Tony’s. “Hi! Can I help you? I don’t think they’re home at the moment.”

“Oh, hi.” The woman says her voice like a syrup. “I’m just looking for Tony. Does he live here?”

Bucky stares at her quizzically. “Tony? I don’t know any Tony’s. You have the wrong house.”

“Are you sure? I was told he lives here.” She starts to get a little pissy.

“Nope. The people who live here are Adam and Julia Batcher. I believe they are both at work.”

“Then who’s car is that?” The lady points at the old Toyota Corolla out front of the house.

Bucky shrugs. “Car broke down about a year ago. Adam bought a new one, but this was his first car, so he doesn’t want to get rid of it.”

“If you’re lying to me,” She threatens, eyes narrowed, “I can make your life miserable.”

“What reason do I have to lie to you?” Bucky makes himself look upset. “I just wanted to help you. But if you want to threaten me, I will have to ask you to leave. We all stick together here, and no one will be happy that you just threatened an ex-soldier who lost his arm on a tour.” He knows his death glare is showing now.

The woman gulps. “I am so sorry. I will be on my way. Thank you for your service.” She hops in her car and drives away.

Bucky scrubs a hand over his face and mutters, “Bitch.”

Tony is awestruck when Bucky returns. “You got her to leave in five minutes. Can I hire you as my bodyguard?” He gushes. “Sunset Bain didn’t know what hit her.” He stays at their house the rest of the day and has one of his redhead friends go home with him in case Sunset is watching.

Tony introduces his friend as Natasha, the second-scariest person he knows. She shakes their hands but looks at them suspiciously. When he leaves, he hugs both Steve and Bucky and thanks them profusely.

Tony starts to hang out with Steve, Bucky, and Sam most days now. He’ll buy expensive steaks and just take them to their house and say he’s providing dinner. They have a weekly movie night, and Tony is a James Bond and Star Wars junkie, so he fits right in. He indulges and feeds Bucky’s conspiracy-fueled brain. Many a night is spent arguing about the moon landing or whether aliens are real, etc. Steve feels that Tony is fitting in so well to his friend group. He can’t wait for Sharon to meet him because he knows they will hit off well.

Steve still hasn’t made his move for two reasons. One, Tony has never seemed too interested in Steve. He flirts with Steve, but he also flirts with Bucky and Sam. Two, he thinks Tony is dating Natasha. They seem awfully close.

Tony seems to be getting happier and happier. He keeps referencing something about “one more month" or “three weeks" and so on. It has something to do with “Honeybear" the car being home to stay. Steve guesses he’s finally made the last payment on his car or something.

+++++++

The day finally comes that Tony has been referring to. Steve is curious to see why today is so special. But Tony just goes about his day like normal.

Steve complains to Bucky when he sees him out working on the Corolla in short shorts and a black wife beater. “It’s like he wants me to see him. The grease stains are so hot. Ugh. I just want to ask him out.”

“Ask who out?” Maria asks, walking in the door with Sharon.

“Tony. Look at him. Isn’t he hot?” Steve sighs.

Sharon looks out the window, and her eyes get big. “No, you better not ask him out!” She growls.

Natasha's car pulls up. Tony rolls out from under the car immediately, and his face brightens. Steve sighs dejectedly. Of course, they’re dating. He looks away.

“Keep watching,” Sharon advises.

An African American man in an army uniform jumps out of the car, and Tony’s face beams. He embraces the man tightly and pulls him into a filthy kiss. Steve’s face forms an ‘O', and Sharon laughs, “Yes, that is why you shouldn’t ask him out.”

“You-you know him?” Bucky asks.

“Yes, he’s my ‘cousin' Tony. My aunt Peggy and his dad were friends. Rhodes is his husband.”

“Why did he never bring up his husband?” Steve questions.

Maria snorts, “Has he mentioned Sugarbear, Honeybear, Sourpatch, Cabbagepatch, Platypus, or anything like that? Tony uses nicknames for those he loves.”

“Yea, I have gotten a lot of Cyborg names,” Bucky says thoughtfully. “And he calls Sam ‘Birdie’ a lot. Steve, doesn’t he call you the ‘great wall of justice’ or ‘Cap'?”

“…And here are Steve and Bucky,” Tony walks up with Rhodes. “Steve, Bucky, I would like you to meet my husband, my honeybear, my sour patch, my lover, and my Rhodey, James Rhodes. Rhodey, this is Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes.”

“Call me Rhodey or Jim,” Rhodey sticks out his hand. “This one thinks James is a stupid name. It’s nice to meet you. I’ve heard tons about you guys.”

“Nice to meet you as well.” Steve replies.

Tony claps his hands. “Ok great! Introductions are made. I hate to kiss and run, but Rhodey just got back from a long deployment. I hope you understand we will need a lot of alone time.” He grins as Steve blushes. “Please excuse us.” Tony all but drags Rhodey out of the house. Seeing Sharon, he pauses, “Hey cuz. Wait you guys know each other?”

Rhodey rolls his eyes and proceeds to pull Tony out of the house, “I thought we needed alone time.”

Steve heaves a sigh of relief once the couple makes it to their door.

“That’s why,” Sharon says. “However, have you met Nat? She might be a good choice for you.”

Steve groans.

[blacksunscorpio]

How to Survive Mercury Retrograde in Pisces

Welcome to retrograde season, team. in 2 days, Mercury goes retrograde at 12°53' in Pisces to be exact. Now, retrogrades usually breed a certain amount of panic and understandably so., but this retrograde falls into the sentimental and some could even argue the overly sentimental sign of Pisces. 

So let's break this down, shall we?

Pisces, the fishes (Think Tui and La from Avatar) are ruled by Neptune, the Latin name for Poseidon, god of the sea, dreams, illusions, etc. Mercury rules Virgo and Gemini, hence Mercury does not feel at home in such an emotional and watery sign. Mercury is in its fall. It prefers the critical and airy signs that it’s used to and at 29 degrees (the last decan of the constellation before it moves on to the next) it’s in a hurry to finish things up. In layman’s terms? There’ll be a sense of intense urgency for the next two weeks.

So what else can we expect during this celestial backspin?

Welp, with Mercury Retrograde in Pisces, this creates mental and emotional confusion, with strange erratic dreams and maybe even some psychic experiences. Mercury rules the [rational] mind and thoughts while Neptune ruler of Pisces lords over the unconscious. The subconscious. Addled states of being (so careful with your alcohol intake around this time or overindulging with drugs in general.)

Your mental processes will have a tendency to become merged with emotions and you might find it hard to separate ideas and opinions from your idealism. You feel as if things are unfolding behind-the-scenes but are not yet clear what they are.

So here’s what to look out for in general:

Sleeping patterns (as we mentioned), communication, and travel plans may be thrown off during this time.

People from the past may be reappearing sooner than expected and bringing with them Emmy winning displays of emotion and drama thanks to the Piscean influence. Don’t trip off this one too much, sometimes this means you could receive that ever-elusive closure you never got.

With upcoming Mercury retrograding in Aries (ruled by Mars, god of war), periods of combative attitudes are heightened as well as impulsive decision-making.

I cannot stress this enough: THINK before you speak.

Deceptive people will swarm like roaches ESPECIALLY with Neptune in Pisces. People show you their true colors so you know who needs to be removed from your life.

Arguments are more prone at this time..

Pretty cut and dry, right? If not, here’s what each of the signs should be aware of specifically during this watery transit.

Aries – Hello my fiery brothers and sisters. Take this time to relax, think things through and watch your tongue. I know it’s hard with our ruling planet being Mars and all but you would not want anything you say now to follow you through the remainder of your birthday season. Mercury retrograde is aiding you in redefining your emotional boundaries and making concise decisions on what to take into the next year of your life—just in time, too, because Aries SZN starts on the 20th, just a week before the retrograde ends. But do take a break from people who have been exhausting you, you don’t have to apologize for taking care of you. Chill.

Taurus – You might suffer from miscommunicating with friends and family members or just everyone in your radius. Or maybe it's just that no one gets how awesome your thoughts are. Either way, be as clear as possible with those around you so that you don’t get annoyed with the world. Mercury retrograde is testing your emotional capacity to open up. Testing your ability to refrain from being judgmental. Try being a little more accepting.

Gemini – You might be frustrated since no one seems to get your ideas but this will prove to be a fruitful period of time for you. Mercury in daydreamy Pisces fills your head with ideas of what could be and where you want to go in life, but you struggle to fit these dreams into reality. The good thing is, you’re trying. And A-for-effort, you little genius. Accept your status as the wise one amongst friends, school or even work. Mercury gives you some much-needed insight while everyone seems to be out-of-whack.

Cancer – Yeah, this bad boy’s gonna hit you guys pretty hard. There’s no sense in cloaking it. You, my clawed cousins, are probably the most emotional sign so not only are your feelings heightened, you may feel like you just want to get away from it all. Considering taking a nice trip? Stahp. Plan it now and go for it in the next few months. While Mercury is in Retrograde, you definitely do not want to take some crazy excursions. If you need to take a break, visit a museum, take up some yoga or work on that project you gave up on a while ago. These alternatives will help you cope in a healthy way instead of running from what you don’t want to face.

Leo – Tax season is coming up, so contemplate how you want those funds allocated. Yes, my preening feline. With Chiron (planet of wounds and healing) and Mercury in such close proximity, you might feel a bit wounded this time around. Self-help books could become useful this time as you try to decipher dreams or just memories from the past. Pay attention to things you normally wouldn’t. That includes friends and family you’ve been neglecting. This Piscean influence is sending you signals and forcing you to readjust the way you exchange emotional resources as well as your financial ones. The devil’s in them details.

Virgo – Oh Virgo’s my OCD loves: Try to loosen up this month. Not everything has to be perfect and you don’t need to go ghost in order to obtain it. With this Piscean influence affecting your relationships, people might be put off by your disappearing act and might consider whether you value their friendships. Reach out, be that person that randomly appears during retrograde. Heal those old wounds and reassure the ones you love with your presence. Chances are if someone’s crossing your mind it’s because you’re on theirs as well.

Libra – Mercury will add some irritation to your routines but you’re good at this, so it will not be such a big deal. Here you learn how to perfect things and redo them so that you will get the value months from now. You’ll do things you’ll thank yourself for later. Work hard even if you don’t feel motivated that way you can play hard later.

Scorpio – Good news arachnid fam, this is the time to relax and break free. I don’t think any of us can forget (or forgive) the things that happened during the last Retrograde. But now that we’ve healed, expect a lot of muses to inspire you. Your artistry is alive. Your creative juices are flowing and people flock to you this March. Social connections are highly likely as you make time to reconnect and steal the spotlight. Yes you’ll be affected by the watery influence but you’re ruled by water too so it’s nothing you can’t flex on.

Sagittarius – Miscommunications at home (which might be part of this issue since you guys are a ruled by the planet of expansion) can prove frustrating but no worries! This is temporary. This will help clear out the air and it will allow you to work on any family drama you have been ignoring. Relax, take notes. You guys are a sign that’s notorious for your blatant and cavalier honesty. Some appreciate it. Some just think you’re harsh. Listen to others and take a page from Libra’s book on this and practice being more diplomatic in your approach.

Capricorn – It’s highly unlikely that you will be on time for anything this month which is highly unlike you since you guys are ruled by Saturn, father of time. Sorry fam, the world seems to be against you, or maybe it’s just time being complicated. You as an earth sign just don’t rock with this watery retrograde. It may seem hard but attempt to go with the flow, don’t lose your cool. Mercury here will teach you some much-needed patience. Be clear, be concise and be patient.

Aquarius –Shmonnaayyyyy! Listen, this could prove to be a beneficial time for you as you see a surge of income from unexpected forces. Has your right had been itching? While others might be losing their mind, you might actually benefit from this period since mercury is making you remove the emotional baggage and clutter as you get your finances in order and learn from previous spending habits and mistakes.

Pisces – It’s about you, baby. Happy birthday. You are on Cloud 9. Yes, this year may have started with upsets and disappointments, but you’ve noticed that things have stabilized and you feel extra Zen with the universe. Mercury’s taught you acceptance, self-care and most importantly self-love (who couldn’t use more of that?) This unconditional joy you may experience throughout the month will allow you to bloom and heal for Aries Season.

So what have we learned today?

Number one: don’t resort to excesses but remain balanced and focused on building the right sort of relationships. Be it work relationships, old ties we thought were forgotten or family binds that will never break. Yes yes, nervousness and stress, fears paranoia may be stimulated, especially if you’ve been working or living in an environment hostile to your deeper needs. But let's all remember to keep our dignity and wits about us. Especially with such a murky and hazy fog that Neptune always blesses us with (note sarcasm) around this time.

Now, will second-guessing and trying to read between every line be hard to avoid? Absolutely. However, the best course of action around this time is to make as few assumptions as possible. Be open to your own intuitive hunches and be ready to take a new direction when it suddenly materializes. It may be closer than you think.  And when the mist clears, you’ll have the opportunity to really make yourself seen and heard. Until then, I’ll be here to keep you updated on the latest celestial happenings. Good luck.

[scatterpatter]

15 w Corren!

15: What is your characters background story?

OHOHO, so I’m going to leave One Detail Out because there’s one part of his backstory I don’t wanna spoil for Jazz yet, but... >:3c

Also it’s under the cut because i totally infodumped and then some OOPSIE

oh also cws: serious illness, death, domestic violence, depression

Corren Hartwell grew up the youngest of 3 siblings, the oldest being his big sis Mila and the middle child being his bro Julian. Their parents were pretty detached emotionally, but that’s pretty par for the course where he was from, and they provided for the kids so it really wasn’t all that bad. Not a perfect family, no fam ever is, but they were happy.

His race’s culture is super inclined to intelligence and studying technology, the mind, etc, so Corren spent his childhood being a total bookworm. Studying history, arcana, all sorts of stuff... he never really minded it, though. He was actually quite good at what he did! 

Mila was a spellcaster- I honestly forgot what school of magic she was in OOPS, and Julian dual-classed as a Necromancer and Bard! Jules and Mila were both pretty close in age, and they were like besties on top of being siblings, and they’d often team up to do small adventuring jobs: hit up the help wanted board in town and take care of short deliveries or a monster stalking a farm or something like that- both for the thrill and to also earn some extra gold for the family. They loved Corren, but they couldn’t take him with them because it was too dangerous for him since he was still just a little kid. Still, Corren admired them and wanted to be just like them(better, even?) when he grew up! ... Oh yeah I always forget this detail but Corren’s totally trans XD He came out pretty young but his family was chill with it so like... ayyyeee

Though one day, Mila started getting sick. Corren doesn’t really know what it was, but for whatever reason she wasn’t able to heal from it with simple healing spells. It was a slow process, but she was just getting worse instead of better, and one day she passed. The family was a wreck, understandably. The issue is... Corren and Julian had... different ways of grieving. Corr was still young, the equivalent of like someone 10-12 in human years, so he didn’t fully grasp the concept of death just yet. He retreated into himself a lot, had trouble grounding himself to the present and really struggling with depression. Julian, about the equivalent of someone 16-18, had a better understanding of what was going on, but he was wrecked. He wanted their sister back, and was so upset he couldnt do anything... but he wanted to try. He ended up doing something rash, and... well, spoilers ;) (dont worry he didnt hurt Corren or anyone else, but... he Fucked Up in what he tried doing)

Things quickly went downhill from there for the Hartwells. There was often a lot of fighting between Julian and their parents, or Corren would be chided for being unable to focus, like, at all, and... Corren and Jules never really fought, but there was a clear rift between them after what happened. They still loved each other, but it was so obvious their relationship would never be like what it was when Mila was still around, and that hurt both of them so much.

A few months later, things reached a boiling point and Julian was kicked out of their home. Before he left, though, he found Corren and gave him something: a small amethyst pendant on a necklace chain, something Julian used to always wear. They made a promise that this wasn’t gonna be goodbye, that they’d find each other again, and then Jules was gone. It was just Corren and his mom and dad.

Things were still strained, and Corren just did his best to keep to his studies to distract himself from everything. Not wanting Corren to end up like his brother, his parents forbade anything necrotic in the magic he learned. The problem was... Corren still loved Julian. And still wanted to be like him, to a point, so... he would study necromancy in secret. It was kinda like his little lifeline like “hey Jules is still here to an extent if I know the spells he does”, and things seemed to be going okay, for the most part

Well uh... one day his father caught him practicing his necromancy and... well, was far from happy about it. An argument quickly erupted between them both, a lot of yelling back and forth, and before Corr could react properly, his father grabbed something from the desk and struck him with it, giving him a pretty bad cut across his right eye(the smol scar I always draw? Yeah...). In a panic, Corren’s flight of fight kicked in as he cast a magic missile at his father in retaliation. Corren isn’t sure if his attack just stunned, knocked out, or killed his father, but the flight of fight-or-flight kicked in as he just ran from the situation. He had no idea what he was to do or where to go, but he just knew he couldn’t go back home after that.

SO this poor kid, probably the equivalent of a 14-15 y/o, is out on his own now... and he sure does his best. He mainly spends his time hopping from town to town, taking up small jobs to get some gold in his pockets, and is just... focusing on surviving. Going from this sheltered lifestyle to suddenly on the streets was a wake-up call and then some, but he found ways to make it work. Luckily his background of studying all the time gave him enough intelligence to take up tasks others weren’t as capable of, but it was still... far from easy. But he made it work!

One day he’s in a city known as Lilenthemar, just taking a break in one of the town squares, when an Elven man takes a seat on the bench next to him. They both sit in a comfortable silence for a while... but the elf then strikes a conversation. Corren, socially awkward like no tomorrow, tries to keep up the conversation... key word tries. The man introduces himself as Jethro, and I imagine the conversation took a turn like this:

Jethro: I don’t see many Marelienths around here, are you new in town?

Corren: Yeah, just passing through I guess. ... Gotta say, wasn’t expecting to see the Dragon Saint of the Green as I came here, though.

Jethro, laughing: Ah, yes, Raerose. Don’t worry, he’s a kind dragon. Though, it’s certainly surprising to those who are new to the city.

Corren: Oh, no, I know all about Raerose and his connections to this city and the Edgewoods. I just wasn’t expecting to... you know, run into his path as quickly as I did.

Jethro: Oh, so you’ve done your research, I take it?

At that point, Corren does what any neurodivergent would do when asked about his hobbies: Infodumps the hell out of what he knows. He’s far from a great scholar, considering he’s only the equivalent of someone 16-21ish at this point and spent quite a few years away from studying in favor of surviving, but he was still very intelligent and knowledgable about what he talked about. Jethro, picking up on this, decided to offer Corren a temporary position as a Family Historian. Jethro was actually a noble, something Corr somehow didn’t pick up on, and not only could’ve used the help... but also, he kiiiinda picked up on the fact that Corren looked like a kid who could use a place to stay for a while. Corren, not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, immediately accepted the offer.

Now, Corren wasn’t intending to stay for long. A few months, maybe a year or two... but. He realized he was building a pretty stable life by having a consistent job for the elf- it didn’t make much sense to just leave that in favor of hopping from place to place with no purpose. Not to mention, he was actually growing quite close to his boss. They’d often spent time together during off-hours, sitting in a comfortable quiet, just taking comfort in each other’s presence. Jethro’s actually the only one Corren ever opened up to about his past, and over the years Corren really grew to love him in a strong platonic way. They both struggled with their own grieving, Jethro with his passed wife and son he hadn’t seen in years, and Corren with his passed sister and brother he hadn’t seen in years, which only helped them grow closer, since they understood each other’s pain, in a sense.

He still struggled with depression, but overall Corren was doing pretty damn well in life. ... Many years later, Corren being 44(idk which human-equivalent this would be. Mid-Late 20s? Early 30s?), actually gets to meet Jethro’s son, Jericho, and the party he traveled with... called the F.U.C.K.s. ... I couldn’t make this shit up even if I tried. They needed help getting to a place called the Menoa Tree, which Corren happened to have studied for a long while, so he offered to help the party. ... They totally broke him with their antics. He proceeded to have a mental breakdown in front of them, and essentially went “FUCK THIS IM GOING HOME AND TAKING A NAP”. Jethro got a laugh out of the furious rambling Corren came home with.

... But despite that, something stuck with him. He just couldn’t quite get the party out of his mind. Something about them, as frustrating as they were, was almost... magnetic? ... Well, weeks later, word came to Lilenthemar about a war that had been raging on for years now... but specifically of a battle at a city known as Joshua, the forces being lead by Jericho alongside many others. Jethro was of course worried about his boy... and Corren... well, something in him changed. He wanted to know more about the FUCKs and just WHAT their deal was, and he wanted to ease Jethro’s worries, so... he grabbed a sniper rifle and decided that he’d go help protect Jericho and his friends as they fought. 

He eventually caught up to the party, convinced them to let him help, and after many battles... the war was won(Corren kinda came in at the tail-end of it all). The only thing is... after that, Corren didn’t really want to go home just yet. He actually enjoyed spending time with the party... and then it clicked: They were powerful adventurers who were totally crazy, stupid, and had no sense of self-preservation... they were just like Julian. And Corren loved it, even when they drove him crazy. He felt alive, which is something he realized he hadn’t felt in a long time... and quickly grew attached to his party, Alistair now taking the reigns as leader as Jericho retired from adventuring. And, well, he’s stuck with them ever since!

He still has Julian’s amethyst, as they’ve yet to reunite(yknow, assuming Jules is still alive even), but... certain events are causing some concern with the story I’m telling. Mainly... Corren is slowly facing Aboleth Corruption(he doesn’t know this yet, but is starting to suspect there’s something wrong with him), and that’s causing parts of his memory to be... patchy. Certain things aren’t lining up, and there could be more(or just different altogether) pieces of this story than what I’ve just told... but we’ll have to wait and see until we get to the quest that deals with that before we find out what’s REALLY going on ;)

... HEY UM I HOPE YALL DONT MIND THE IMMENSE INFODUMP IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR THEN THANK U FOR CARING ABT MY BOI ;-;

[bigskydreaming]

Just heard about Tom King’s explanation for why Bruce hit Tim in Batman #71, and its gross and stupid and awful and IMO probably just backpedaling and something he worked in after the fact when he got hit with a ton of backlash he didn’t see coming because he didn’t think it was that big a deal when he wrote it. As far as I’m concerned, its still abuse apologism, because coming up with a make believe in story justification for why Bruce hitting his kid wasn’t really what it looked like, even though it very definitively was meant to look like Bruce hitting his kid, like...hello, that is very much the essence of abuse apologism. God, I can’t wait for him to be gone.

That said, I know people are celebrating Tynion taking over, but I’m still extremely wary on that front, and I’d like this to be talked about more, given the EXACT things fandom is most holding against King, myself included, and all with very good reason. Because I have DEFINITELY not forgotten Tynion’s bullshit inclusion of BOTH Tim AND Damian hitting Dick at different points in Batman & Robin Eternal, simply because they were pissed at him, and him making no attempt to defend himself or call them out for this, and then with Jason eagerly trying to bond with Tim over this moment and being gleeful about it and comparing it to his recent punching of Dick in Grayson #12 and like, wanting to talk about how good it felt to deck the Golden Boy.

Because it was NO different, and it drives me nuts that Tynion’s writing is so positively regarded because fandom is more than happy to forget about those instances since it goes hand in hand with the tendency to gloss over things other family members do to Dick. And again, let me be clear, this in NO way is meant to lessen, invalidate or take away from the very justified and rightful criticism of King’s writing of Bruce and Tim, its simply a plea for people to BE CONSISTENT WITH THIS STUFF, AND NOT JUST BASE IT AROUND WHETHER OR NOT IT HAPPENS TO A CHARACTER YOU LIKE.

An older brother passively letting his younger brothers all hit him and get away with it and make no attempt to EVER raise it as a criticism or point of complaint against them, because its a kind of apology for upsetting them each to the point where they wanted to hit him, like. That is STILL abusive as hell. It doesn’t matter that he’s the older one, because abuse isn’t about set ages or positions or anything like that. Its simply a dynamic. Its the exploitation of a power or advantage one person has over the other. In each of these cases, it was the exact same dynamic...the power that was exploited in each of those scenes, that the brothers all had and Dick has never been shown having a comparable advantage, is that Dick was desperate for his brothers to forgive him and get past their issues with him, and he was willing to do or allow anything to see that happen, and Jason, Tim and Damian were each very much aware of this tendency and desire of Dick’s, and at no point was it ever framed as if any of the three had any expectation or care that Dick might retaliate or hold this against them. This is an abusive set up, its shitty, bad writing for a family, and not calling it out as such is shitty, bad writing and bad takes and abuse apologism.

This isn’t meant as a bash Jason, Tim or Damian thing, because that would require accepting this as part of their family dynamic with Dick, and I DON’T. Its a terrible dynamic, it should be regarded as such, and pushed back against and called out rather than ignored or normalized. Every bit as much as Bruce’s abusive actions at times are called out. If people don’t want to validate these scenes’ existence at all, I can understand and empathize, but as I’ve said in past posts, the problem I have is with the willingness to engage on the topics and instances of Bruce being abusive with Jason or Tim but then any mention of similar shitty scenes between him and Dick at MOST reduced to ‘and he’s punched Dick a couple of times’ before swiftly moving on. BE CONSISTENT. That’s all I’m asking. 

What King wrote was shit. He should be gone. I’m glad to see him gone. It should be addressed. It should get all the fix-it fics. I’m glad to see it get all the fix-it fics.

I’m just extremely unsettled by the cheers for the return of a writer who wrote THE SAME DAMN KIND OF SHIT in one of his most acclaimed instances of writing the Batfamily, with no mention of these exact same kinds of scenes, dynamics, and bullshit explanations or lack of followup and accountability....from either canon OR in fandom responses to that canon, potential fix-it fics, etc. The fact that in Tynion’s case, each and every one of those scenes happened to revolve around the character that fandom most frequently glosses over being the butt of his family’s bad writing or worst tendencies, like....its not a coincidence, its like pretty much the entire heart of my constant harping on about double standards and inconsistent criticisms of hugely charged topics such as abuse and abuse apologism.

Again, I DON’T want to see it validated that everyone in Dick’s family is apparently fine with hitting him when they’re ticked at him. I just want to see it validated that this is a thing that has been written more than once into canon, and normalized into more than one fanfic. With no resulting trend of fix-it fics that either tackle addressing these instances, revealing they’re a problem, discussing why they’re a problem, or rewriting those dynamics entirely so that this problem never exists in the first place...the way fandom produces fix-it fics and headcanons for the times other Batfam characters are the ones victimized.

Tynion has written some good stuff. Far more than King has ever managed. But I’m still extremely worried about HIM of all people, being the follow up to King, given the specific nature of most peoples’ issues with King and his writing.

Because when Tynion has written the exact same kind of bullshit, with like....no real sign of pushback or criticism from fandom and readers saying hey this is bullshit, this is NOT the kind of family dynamics we want to see...

There is absolutely no reason to hope or be optimistic that Tynion won’t pull the same crap again and think nothing of it....because unlike with King, nobody’s making enough noise about how this is crap and writers should think twice before writing it!

Just to be perfectly 100% clear, that is the ONLY real point of this post. This is not a waaaah, Dick has it so much harder than everyone else, it is not an attempt to make it a competition, it is not an attempt to take anything away from Tim or the reactions fandom had to what happened to him, this is simply me being worried about seeing more bullshit happen to yes, admittedly my favorite character here, but specifically because we’re going into a new run written by a writer who’s already established a tendency to write this kind of dynamic in regards to the kind of scenario where Dick feels he has stuff to make up for and his family has reason to be angry at him, with fandom largely agreeing....given that y’know, we’re talking about that very same writer now about to take over at a time when Dick will once again only JUST be returning to his normal self as Nightwing and Dick Grayson and a member of his family....with him most likely being poised to feel he has stuff to make up for and his family has reason to be angry at him, with fandom largely agreeing.

Like, do you see why I’m concerned about that particular combination of things, especially when added to the supreme lack of mentions these moments of Batman & Robin Eternal got the first time around? 

And given that all the issues people have with Ric Grayson are quite likely to be transferred right back over to Dick the second Ric disappears for good, even though all their criticisms and complaints are more accurately attributed to the actions of someone who’s been pointed out to essentially NOT be Dick Grayson, as in that’s the entire premise of the story.....much like how all the issues people had with Spyral and Dick’s faked death landed solely on him at the time, even though all their criticisms and complaints were more accurately attributed to Bruce’s canon actions?

Just saying, as much as I hate King’s writing of Batman #71 and his followup to it, at least its been a relief to see that hatred validated and reflected across the board by all parts of fandom, even those of us who aren’t Tim fans first and foremost. Its crap. We all agree its crap. Nobody’s saying otherwise. Just like with Lobdell’s bullshit with RHATO #25. I never WANT to have to read about abuse within the Batfamily and ensuing abuse apologism but it really really really helps when fandom’s largely on the same page about it being what it is and saying in no uncertain terms, hey, we don’t want to see this shit.

Just...please, please, please don’t make me sit through months and months of abuse and abuse apologism in canon and fandom if history repeats here again, just because ‘well at least its not King’ and because its happening to Dick instead of Jason or Tim. That’s all. That’s literally my only point and concern. 

[medea10]

My Review of Wotakoi: Love is Hard for Otaku

[thisvaryingexistence]

My thoughts on Code Geass: Lelouch of the Re;surrection

So I finally saw the Code Geass movie last night and OH MAN DO I HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS.

First of all I think I should start this out by saying this series came into my life at a very weird time I’d say. I first watched the show when I was in 7th grade (13 years old) and I don’t know why but it stuck with me. As soon as the last episode finished I immediately hit start on episode 1 (ah the good old days when Bandai had all the episodes on Youtube) to see what I was missing my first viewing. Since then I have easily watched the series over 10 times over both in English and Japanese. The show (and the fanfiction let’s be real here) got me through a lot of tough times. In my freshmen year of high school, I really took a turn for the worst and seriously thought I would die before I turned 15. That was when I met @projectcluclu and she (along with the show) became a really key part of my life. Her fics really made me fall in love with the pairing Lelouch and CC even more than I already had been with before. The pairing itself became a real comfort for me and just. TLDR: Code Geass is really important to me.

Writing now as a junior in college (20 years old), I could still say this series has my heart. Have I grown older now and seen many other things (mostly not anime related things)? Yes. Do I notice the endless plotholes in the story and how certain characters I once hated are actually okay and the characters I thought were flawless could actually be rather despicable? Yes again. But this story as a whole still makes my heart go BOOM. 

NOW TO THE MOVIE!

So when I first heard they were making a movie I rolled my eyes. I get it was an anniversary and the show had had many other specials before such as Lelouch’s Birthday, Nunnally in Wonderland, etc. However, this one was going to make or break this show. The creators seemed to know this and pulled something I laugh so hard at but at the same time THEY KNOW THEY GET TO MAKE THE CAKE AND EAT IT TOO. After realizing that “oh shit. We really did have the perfect ending. Legit half the viewers are going to be upset no matter what we do” they decided. “YOU ALL CAN THINK WHATEVER YOU WANT. This is an alternate reality.” Now, to me this was a cop out for sure. They knew no matter what they did, someone would be upset. Even I joked around with my sister and said if Lelouch got with anyone else but CC in the movie I would burn all my Code Geass merch. Still, the war still goes on from the original show whether he is dead or not. The creators wanted the ending to be ambiguous, but couldn’t even handle the inner-fandom war when the ending first happened over 10 years ago that they were like HE IS DEAD STOP FIGHTING. 

All that being said, I obviously knew I had to see this movie. I’ll admit the spoilers that it was a CluClu ending did give me a slight push to hit buy tickets on my online order, but I knew it was important to my sister and I. We drove an hour away to go see it and the theater was actually pretty damn packed. We anticipated being 2 of like 7 people there but it was FILLED. It was pretty cool to here people talking about the timeline under their breath and getting excited about the movie. So the movie. My God I laughed so hard. Like tears were streaming from my face. First, I saw it in English. I love my Johnny Young Lelouch so much and Kate Higgins as CC is great. Everyone else had the same voices as well but. It literally appeared everyone but CC forgot how to say Suzaku’s name and called him “Sooz-a-koo.” Legit sounded like fucking Shinjuki. The first time LELOUCH said it I was like who he is talking ab- OMFG ARE YOU KIDDING ME. My sister and I were in tears and I was shaking so bad. The new characters got me confused. Where the fuck was this big ass nation in the show? (Obviously non-existent as this is an alternate universe”) But I was like what is geass did anyone at the studio actually figure it out? In the show they got nowhere close to explaining it, but we got a very good understanding on what it does, it’s limitations, who had it and why, etc. This movie was like oh you have geass?! CHECK MINE OUT! The princess (at least I think she was a princess) was weird? That scene with her and her brother in the bath after she saw her prophecy was fucked. I laughed so hard again as everyone around me was saying WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT? With these new characters, why is Cornelia now the head of them? 

My brain did not take it seriously and just laughed at how crack-fic this movie was. They showed almost every character and it was beautiful and almost bought me to actually cry no matter how weirdly they were placed and who they were placed with. Like why was Schneizel with Rakshata?? In a daycare place?? Why?? Ohgi and Viletta’s wedding though. My heart exploded Lloyd and Rakshata dancing? I approve. THE BABY? I approve. 

The main characters. I know it has been ten years and it could be seen, and there were definitely moments where they were, out of character. One thing I saw a lot of before I saw it was that CC was out of character because she cared so much for Lelouch but to me? I think she was pretty in character. It had been a long time for her and Lelouch. As soon as Lelouch died, Shirley bought his body to CC and she had to take care of him as they looked for his lost consciousness. I imagine she was a bitch in the beginning to him but quickly realized she did this. 

She did this.

She is the reason Lelouch is alive at all.

This is why I believe she was in character. It shows how she is not a stagnant character from the beginning of the story. When first knowing about her in episode five of the series, it was clear she was a stone cold bitch who made her own rules for her life (which makes her CC my favorite character so I’m not saying this as a bad thing). As the show moved forward, we saw her at her most vulnerable and how as a child she was desperate for someone to love her. After her own geass story and her immortality, she saw quickly it must have not been in the cards for her and how she was “utterly alone.” Even as she and Lelouch started to become closer to each other, she was rather distant. I don’t think she really let it show how important he had become to her until her backstory episode 15 of R2 when she would not let him take her immortality. Even when she was dying, mind you the only reason she went after Lelouch in the first place, she was crying at the thought of leaving. In the penultimate episode of the series, she and Lelouch had a very touching scene that Kallen had to ruin, but she voiced her care for him. Therefore, in the movie when it shows her caring so much for him, I do not find it out of character for her. It was already shown in the show and sound episodes that she was not sure what she thought her feelings for Lelouch were and she was confused and frightened by them. She was afraid she ruined his life by giving him the power in the first place, and she was selfish enough to do it again by reviving him knowing full well he intended to die for all the things he did in the rebellion. 

I teared up at the trailer watching CC cry trying to find Lelouch in C’s world. You could tell that man is her new “meaning for living” so to say and she realized how close she was to losing him again. I teared up when they were in the knightmare and Lelouch was about to issue a surrender. She pulled her gun on him similar to episode 7 of the show and told him this was not the Lelouch she knew and bought back. That moment of shaky tears and words made Lelouch into his self again. They are the missing pieces the other has always lacked. They are better off together and they know it. Another reason why the scene at the end hit so strong when he told her he would follow LL and abandon the name Lelouch. He was stating how he was ready to let go of his past and begin a new life with her. Her face welling up and crying. Those scenes of them together were my favorite parts of the movie for the obvious ship reason but also for the fact that I felt more connections to the original story and the characters seemed to be staying true to their old selves. 

Lelouch. He was pretty much in character. I do believe leaving Nunnally to make her own choices and let her grow up is something he would do. After all the lessons CC told him about keeping people you love at a distance. He was a little more flirty than usual but again? The scenes that mattered the most, he was Lelouch. 

Suzaku. Excuse me Soozakoo was a pretty much his character from R2. Kind of a douchebag with a heart of gold. His scenes with Lelouch were very very in character and really touching.

Kallen was a little out of character. The one scene that touched my heart is when she cried (which by the way was fucking hilarious because the English cry was so bad) when Lelouch kept staring at her with his dead eyes. That was a really beautiful scene and I could admit that even though I despise the two of them together.

Everyone else was pretty much thrown in with no explanation. Ohgi apologizing to Lelouch made 0, no pun intended, sense. Cornelia leading this new nation? This new nation of a whole? How did Lelouch know where everything was and how to work this foreign computer network and equipment? Why was mostly everyone else not phased by the fact that Lelouch was alive? So many things were not explained in this movie.

THE ANIMATION. The characters were beautiful as ever but damn. Sometimes they left blobs and mouths moving and it was so funny. The close up shot of the camels had me laughing in my seat.

THE ENDING. And I mean the post-credit ending. I feel like the creators found this famous fanart of Lelouch and CC:

And were like LET’S GO WITH THAT! They were pretty much dressed like this and looked like they were having a wedding type thing? But they gave a weird vampire feel which was hm. Okay? 

Overall, this movie was what it was. An anniversary movie to give the fans and give some more spotlight on Lelouch and CC’s relationship. In the moments it had its key characters, it was beautiful. Hell, it was all beautiful. However, it really did feel I was watching a crack-fic fanfiction in HD. That being said, I would not change anything about this movie. My heart is so full and I was smiling the entire time. So glad I got to go see it!