#but I had fully given up on art at a point because i felt like I was stagnating and i got no joy from doing it anymore

[ricoka]

I was just looking through old references I saved in 2020/early 2021 and I'm so incredibly proud of myself, when considering where I'm at now in comparison. Still a long way to go, but I saved some tutorials on what I'd now consider very basic knowledge. I often only see everything that I can't do, that I still need to learn. But I am really proud that I made it to this point. I never really thought I would.

[inkskinned]

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

[cooki3face]

Your present reality vs far future

message: I'm doing a reading from bed today guys, believe it or not, I have not done any readings from bed in quite a long time lol! I have a designated table for these types of things in the house but I'm feeling like taking it easy today and relaxing. Sometimes doing readings or creating tarot content feels like a chore although I really love it. Many things in my life have felt like a chore lately between work and school and managing my time properly and whatever else I have selected to put on my plate. This is the reason why I'm pulling this reading out of my draft list, I have many readings stored away in my drafts about various things. I felt called to do this one because I felt that maybe the collective wanted some insight as to what the life they're working towards or manifesting may look like. I've been feeling called to do these types of 3D-themed readings for a while. I also considered releasing a financial forecast reading as well. I'm asking spirit and setting my intention for this reading to motivate and help awaken the collective to the reality their higher selves live and what needs to be done or put in in order to receive the manifestation of the dream life you deserve collective. I know many people whose past life karma, the beliefs they grew up with, their childhood trauma, and the experiences that they were given within this lifetime to put them on their highest path of ascension if they made the right choices or saw things the best way has made them feel very discouraged and stuck and has ruined the idea that a good life is available for them to be a recipient of. It is not your fault that the divine plan that was set in place for you to learn certain lessons was difficult or was dreadful or took such a large toll on you but it is possible to heal from and be relieved from such a way of things. I swear. And today I will try and deliver to you the truth of a life you could live away from the hurt, the karmic cycles, and the trauma or hard times. Anyways, many months ago when I created the draft for this reading I chose Miss Frida Kahlo and her wonderful art for my banner and my pick-a-pile covers. I hope that you enjoy her as much as I enjoy her and her legacy and art.

-

i.

your past: I pulled the three of swords for your past pile one, there could've been a lot of loss and a lot of heartbreak cut out for you. Loss may have served as a large aspect of some of your greatest lessons. The loss of a parent to death or to outside third party obligations, the loss of a lover or many, the loss of approval or much-needed validation from outside sources, loss shaped the way things were laid out for you and was responsible for some of the behaviors or needs that you had for a long time. There's an essence of learning that is so incredibly significant to you here, you could've begun your life in a way where knowledge or the need for knowledge was heavily significant in your life, but I also see this idea of the primary purpose for your life events and circumstances was for you to learn important lessons early in order for you to become something great in your future. You could've had to grow up really fast, had to experience or see things or undergo drastic changes and hardships that people usually don't at such a large volume but you were made to survive and flourish. You're someone with a great purpose, you may be a healer or a light worker or someone who has a heavily significant gift even if your gifts aren't in the world of helping people along their ascension or things that fall into the metaphysical.

your present reality: you've reached a point within your journey where you've outgrown and broken all of your karmic cycles or successfully and fully completed the portion of your life that was heavily designed by the divine to teach you some of your most intense and powerful lessons, congratulations pile one. I almost said pile two, there may be messages for you in pile two. Last night in a reading I had said that there is a portion of someone's life in which their past life karma and the events in their lives and their experiences are heavily determined by what needs to be a part of their reality in order to reach the level of ascension needed to step into their higher self and fulfill their purpose. Sort of in the way in which we spend a large majority of our lives as minors in someone's care before we're considered legal adults and can go off on our own and create our own lives and stories. and This was exactly that. You've graduated or aged out of a space in time within your journey where your hardest lessons were that were meant to shape you.

You are at the beginning of your life, the world is yours. Some of you have just turned 19 years old or are newly adults. The number 19 is associated with perseverance, inner power, and finding your own path or finding your own spiritual path. The number 1 symbolizes the beginning and the number 9 symbolizes completion or near completion or the point in which someone is about to reach their highest level of completion or wholeness. You also have the ten of cups here indicating bliss, harmony, and alignment. This point is the calm after the storm that you have experienced, the ages of 6 and 7 may be incredibly significant for you as well and could've been the point in which certain karmic cycles or karmic energies began to flare up for you within your life.

You're at this extremely significant point in time, I see spirit or your spirit guides and ancestors opening up this huge door for you or you getting ready to walk through this gigantic door you've been waiting to enter for a long time. I see little you or someone being a teenager waiting in front of a door or sitting in front of a door. Someone had an ancestor or a spirit guide that always wanted to let you in early or always wanted to let you see what was on the other side even if you weren't ready yet someone's ancestor or spirit guide is very sorry that you had a hard time or had to go through so much, you have buckets of compassion in other realms for you pile one. Behind the door there is all of these opportunities, all of this abundance and all of these beautiful things for you to have and experience as compensation.

your future: in your future there's a lot of you using everything you've learned or everything you've experienced to keep you grounded or consistently moving in the right direction. Not out of a place of fear but out of a place of wisdom and knowing. You may also be someone who struggles with commitments in your life either emotionally or in the physical/material aspect of things and this is not going to be something that continues to hold you back I just heard "You'll find your way." or something along the lines of being able to put your money where your mouth is or stand fully in the things you want to accomplish will come to you eventually and you won't have to worry about this any longer if you worry about your productivity or your performance or your ability to take action and make things happen. You'll soon be seen as someone very disciplined who has things figured out and mapped out and you'll not only be seen that way but you'll be that person actually.

Some of you are young and may feel disappointed in yourself or having a hard time accepting that you are in fact young and there are skills or things you're not immediately good at or have to learn to do with time as you come into yourself due to the fact that you may be someone who is very grown up, wise or mature in a lot of areas. You are not behind. I just heard "allow yourself to grow." someone's ancestor or spirit guide thinks it's funny that you might get upset at the fact that you have a hard time. They see you as a baby in a suit lol. You may be unable to see just how much you have within your life or feel you crave more or don't get all the recognition you rightfully deserve within this lifetime to some extent here. You may fall into a practitioner role or be someone who teaches or creates a name for themselves through a leadership role or through something like divination. You'll be someone mysterious and sensual or someone who attracts the attention or curiosity of many. I just heard "friend of the world" or "mother" You may hold mystique and/or have a very high status patriarchal or matriarchal vibe. You may be well known in the world of the arts or there will be a worldly presence about you that you'll hold for the remainder of your life.

I pulled "The Daughter of Skulls" in the deck I'm using today and in essence, she represents infinite potential of life on earth. "steady and secure materialization. infinite potential. birth. completion. abundance. strength. tangible. earthly happiness. pure creation. opportunity. generous. beautiful. sensual. benevolent. arousal. adoration. truth. security. commitment. freedom. sensations. perfection. divine inspiration and holy wisdom. here is the message behind this card in the Tarot book for this deck:

In your future, what you put out in the world you will receive in return in full capacity and you will give to the world a lot and the most valuable and most cherished things. Anything that comes from you or derives from you will be held at high regard and will be something of value. Your ideas, your guidance, your charity and even your children if you bless this world with any.

how you'll get there: value yourself and value your energy and your time and your essence. You are a person of high rare value and you must behave as such. Your first line of defense is always going to be you in the physical realm and world of the living and your second line of defense is your spirit guides and ancestors. You cannot receive the things you want in your life or get to where you want to be or be who your higher self is if you do not protect yourself in every sense there is. respect your legacy in the making. make choices according to where you want to go, be the energy you want to receive. your success in your life will come from you using your wisdom and using the respect you have for yourself and the love you have for yourself as your biggest weapon. People often see us the way we see ourselves when we have a very strong sense of identity whether or not it's a honest one or not. People will come to you because you're magnetic. Success will follow you because you're magnetic and it's safe in your hands. continue to nurture yourself and your energy and your persona. I don't even mean in the sense of who you present to others as an alter ego but your higher self or who you feel called to be. Love yourself, love your life, value your essence. easier said than done for most but if this message is yours you know exactly what means, looks like, feels like, sounds like, tastes like. Love is your sixth sense.

-

ii.

your past: your childhood or past could've had a lot of stagnancy and suppression within it. There's something authoritative here or something that restricted someone's self-expression or was very judgmental and inflexible. this could be anything a parent or a legal guardian, a school system or a culture or a religion. Someone was a brilliant child or was someone with a lot of broad potential for many things who didn't get the freedom or ability to blossom or grow the way they rightfully deserved, there's a suppressed part of someone here that has been pushed into the shadow or has been lying dormant. you may have a difficult time making decisions in your life or have low self-esteem or an inability to think for yourself, express yourself or have a wicked case of imposture syndrome that tells you that you're not worth much or that you aren't capable of much but you're very powerful and very divine.

incredibly smart, have a psychic ability or an oppressed spiritual gift. someone told you that you were crazy or weird or led you in a direction or raised you up in a way that very heavily wounded your sense of self. this could also be a case of environmental oppression of the spirit, somewhere you once resided or the place you do reside and/or haven't moved away from didn't have the resources to accommodate you or help you. you may have a mental illness or a disability or have very heavy trauma that may impair you. There was some complication with the message that came through at first, I couldn't grasp it right away and I think this is reflective of the energy you may be in because something has cut you off or pushed you to lose something that was a naturally given birthright for you that you inherited from your ancestors or one in particular like a father or a grandfather or someone on your paternal line or a masculine energy. potentially one who passed away before your time. I pulled "The Lord of Knives" in the deck I'm using here's the message and essence behind the card:

someone in your life could've known that you had a gift and took advantage of the fact that you were a child and may have had their own ideas about which direction they felt you were destined to go or put a lot of energy into suppressing your gifts or trying to break your spirit for fear you'd be entirely too difficult to control or be disobedient or out of jealousy for what you'd get in life or what you'd reap if you were allowed to grow into your power or be yourself. I see this could've been multiple people who chipped it to see you fall or have a hard time it may have started in the home or came from the home as well but it also was something you dealt with outside of your life, in your social life. Someone was afraid of fullness of conserved power in you.

your present reality: You're about to grow into yourself or at the brink of your ascension, you couldn't spent a lot of time in a stagnant place with many karmic behaviors and cycles, you could've fallen into addictions or fallen into some hard places or ran into a lot of karmic people and situations that were meant to shake you awake or act as major catalyst to put you on the right path. I hear someone saying that these were the cards you were dealt in terms of your past (both as a child and in your early life and in your recent past or in these past couple of years) and there isn't much you can do about that but you can use the cards you were dealt with to alchemize your self and learn the right lessons and find what you may have lost a long time ago. there's something significant here about your crown chakra being closed or you having a hard time learning lessons or taking the positives out of a negative situation or circumstance.

There was a recent catalyst that you've just experienced or are standing in at the moment that has been the last one for this block of time or this cycle of misfortune or hardship. You need peace and quiet or you need most at this time the ability to break away and turn inwards and soul search. It's about time some inner clarity on certain matters including the directory of your life and what you need to do come to you. you're about to rethink an idea or any clouded judgment you've had or carried with you about your sense of direction or where you needed to go, do, or be is about to clear. At this point in your life you're potentially in a place where you're juggling the persona you've been given or the one you've grown into to assimilate or that was in alignment with your choices and the life that goes with it and the person you really are and the life you are destined to have that's in alignment with who you truly are. this collective is always a really heavy one within my readings, you're always with me, I've practically grown up with you and now is your moment. I've always loved you and seen your light. it is now time you see it to and step into your power pile two.

You're in the process of regeneration and healing as well after a time long spent carrying with you wounds and skeletons. You're finally on the rise and about to reach your freedom. You're so close.

your future: I see you feeling and being victorious. a force to be reckoned with. people might actually believe you to be the golden standard of something or may idealize you or feel that you're glorious. You may be someone who is heavily put on a pedestal by their romantic partners and romanticized even to a point where you don't understand and they may become increasingly disappointed or have a hard time coming to terms with the fact that you're a real person with real flaws are can't possibly be everything they've chosen to try and make you out to be but I see this no longer being the case with anyone in the future in the sense that you will be everything and more. You may be heavily attracted to someone in your present life or be really infatuated or obsessed with someone in your present life who is a fantasy-like individual or has a really beaming sort of divinity that you wish that you could embody on your own and you will. You are divine and you will be divine and that will be the end of it. You'll be someone in the future who has a knack for improving themselves or finds great pleasure in self-improvement and pushing limits, even to the point of perfectionism it may work against you at some point but what it really does for you is set the standard for which you think you're worth and what you think you're capable of doing or accomplishing.

You may find that you'll be someone in the future and for a good amount of it who is a lone wolf or is seeking out a divine counterpart or someone to compliment you and bring to you your ten of cups or your divinely ordained commitment here or some sort of completion. I see you holding off for it and devoting a large amount of your energy towards your self-care and your physical world and career as you look for deep and divine commitment in your love life and partnerships. You may be someone who commands a lot of attention or that people desire to follow around or invest in deep commitments with but will find yourself not necessarily lonely but seeking something profound, at this stage in your ascension you'll have the ability to detect intention and what is in store for you and another individual intuitively. You could very well be a masculine energy or just someone who is very action-oriented and moves through their lives with a sense of fluidity. I pulled the "Prince of Scepters" here is the essence and description attached to this card from the book:

how you'll get there:

focus on taking the time you need for yourself to thoroughly recover from the things you've experienced and allow yourself the time to make the changes you need to make to come into your power and refine who you need to be. Don't rush into commitments out of loneliness or force yourself to be around people just to keep company or just to make it seem like you are loved by others, it's okay to be alone or to use the time you have being alone for a productive cause that pertains to you, you're not selfish or wrong for it. Continue to grow and pour your energy into yourself. Love yourself enough to meet your own needs, love yourself enough to do things for the sake of your own nourishment, and stay far away from things that can destroy you out of craving or desire. take time to think about what you truly want and come into alignment with that by trusting that it exists and that it's available for you to have if that's truly what you want. the world is yours after such a long time of being denied it and it's time you align yourself with receiving it.

-

iii.

your past: This may not be for the entire collective but it's likely there could've been some of you that could've experienced some violence or abusive environment even may have had someone in your life that was emotionally volatile that you could never truly please or had to walk on eggshells around. could've also been heavily oversexualized in your life as a child and during your teen years or general early life. there's a possibility someone could've attracted a lot of people who wanted to take from them or exploit them and did. Some of y'all could have experienced a lot of heartbreak from a young age or a lot of your needs not being met or your first heart break or massive bouts of betrayal from significant individuals like family members or like your parents and that could've heavily affected the way you behaved in front of others or how you navigated in the world. It's possible some of you could've developed a personality disorder or may struggle with mental health. You may have developed a tendency to lie to get approval or to get your way or obtain opportunities you don't believe you could receive if you were just yourself. lie or put on facades.

You may also have liked to party within the past couple of years or went through a lot to try and keep from being alone with yourself or being isolated or feeling alone. If it wasn't partying it was attempting to keep as many friends as possible or do what was necessary to keep as much attention as you felt you needed.

your present reality: you could be potentially dealing with a lot of energetic pressure in the heart space or undergoing a heart chakra awakening. You could be in and out of depression at this time potentially as well. Things from your past or past suppressed feelings or memories are resurfacing. if it's coming up, it needs to come out. You're learning what it means to love yourself and operate from a place of love instead of fear. You could be experiencing heavy emotions attached to codependency There could've been a loss or multiple. Of friends or lovers or both, people you may have heavily relied on past even a healthy point. relied on for various things, to regulate your emotions, validate your existence, or prove to you that you are loved or could be loved. There's also a potential you may have several uncut soul ties from past lovers and failed relationships, talking stages, or sexual rendezvous. You may have attempted to use your knowledge to cut them or severe them but it was somewhat unsuccessful.

You've been isolating yourself lately or having a lot of trouble being perceived or have developed a deep/deeper fear of being seen. You may have spent a lot of time off of social media or have been minimizing the amount you're willing to share about how you feel with "friends" and family. This could potentially serve as a way of being able to control your environment and what comes in and out of space so as not to trigger you. someone might be an air sign as well, you may not have the ability you may usually have to let things flow right through you or control the way you react to certain stimuli. You're bothered, triggered, or heavily emotionally sensitive or volatile at this time. You're undergoing a dark night of the soul and are in the process of waning in order to return in better shape soon. You're the last portion of the collection to undergo a full transformation. Some of you apart of this pile/collective are individuals who have younger spirits or haven't been on this early plane for very long or haven't lived multiple lives here.

You could have very youthful or childish energy or tendencies in your most authentic and natural state, you may look older or give the impression to others that you are older than you really are. You're in the process of healing the part of you that's karmic behavior may stem from a stunted place in your growth. learning how to properly navigate in the world and in your relationships, learning how to communicate properly, some of you may also be seeking out therapy or psych evaluations or may be placed in alignment to receive those types of mental health services.

your future: You'll be completely committed to the cause that is loving yourself and being the energy that you want to receive or manifest in all forms. Self love or insecurity may be something you have struggled with for the vast majority of your life so much so that a few of you have learned to heavily overcompensate or have developed an extremely inflated sense of self-importance that comes from a seemingly narcissistic place due to your past. learning how to do things authentically and from an honest place and not take short cuts or use your trauma as a way to cushion the fact that you may have some unhealed aspects of your shadow is something that you'll be learning to do and be determined to do.

You'll be in the process of challenging beliefs you've learned from your past or carried with you a long way and be in the state of learning and growing for a large amount of time for the earliest portion of your enlightened life. Any growing up you failed to do or limited mindset you've carried is what you'll primarily be working on. You may be disconnected spiritually or disconnected from spirit or God as well and your faith and purpose is something that you'll be working on or trying to find guidance through. You'll be entering your most in-depth spiritual journey or spiritual rebirth. You may have spiritual knowledge already but it comes from a limited place or the intention for learning isn't in the right place.

by the time you've completed this inner work and have come into alignment with your purpose and what you're meant to do within this lifetime you'll find yourself feeling relieved and having more room within yourself to build your life in such a way that will bring true fulfillment for you. You may have a tendency to heavily fixate on the physical or material world or the way your reality "appears" in the 3D and neglect your spirit, emotional/mental well-being, or internal affairs which has played a huge factor in your stunted growth and ability to operate and your future will begin itself with you having no choice but to shift your focus and find alignment internally before you can make anything come into rightful alignment in your physical life.

how you'll get there: you'll receive your highest reality by nurturing and healing the parts of you that need the most care and attention, which happens to be everything within and in spirit. There can be no true abundance or alignment if we don't bring into true order our internal aspects first. Be for your inner child who you would have wanted for them growing up. You are your first line of defense for your internal and vulnerable self and behind that is your spirit guides and ancestors. Your journey to your highest reality and your deepest place of alignment is going to be a lot of soul searching and a lot of inner work and growth and the effort that you put in to get yourself there. I pulled "The Daughter of Scepters" in the tarot deck I've chosen for this reading and here's the essence and meaning of the card for you to read:

I also channeled the song "Tell Him" by Lauryn Hill, and "Him" as referred to in the song would be self (you).

Your greatest strength will be utilizing the natural free-spirited energy of your spirit, use it to allow yourself to embrace change and do the inner work to break karmic cycles and emerge out of stagnancy when it finds you.

-

This reading took me so long guyss 😭😭 I broke it into two parts, I completed the first two piles that took me a couple of hours last night yesterday and then this morning I woke up with the intention to finish. I hope you found what you were looking for in this reading and it touched you!! I was unsure about the directory spirit took it in because I had envisioned it to be more of an entertainment type reading and be more surface level in its content but it turned out completely different. Bless you. 🤎

[extensionallydefined]

Okay, so, I need to talk about the relationship between Persona 5's ending and Persona 5 royal's ending, because I think it isn't discussed enough how one puts into question the themes of the other and in doing so it elevates everything that came before.

Spoilers are coming, you've been warned.

The main thing that's given me an outlet to think about this is a few quotes from the Phantom Thieves when they're in the Velvet Room after being Thanos-snapped by Yaldabaoth. Specifically these quotes:

Ann: "I... I never want anyone to have to go through what I did!"

Yusuke: "Just as art is meant to break boundaries, people should be saved even if they frown upon it. I won't allow the justice I believe in to be shaken any further!"

Ryuji: "We're doin' this to make sure people don't go through the same crap we did. It doesn't matter if they think we're just or not. We gotta do what we believe in!"

Futaba: "I can't let people suffer like this, even if I don't know them personally"

They mention some core ideas: 1. They want to prevent people's suffering because of the suffering they've felt. 2. They must do this regardless of if people want it, because they think it's the right thing to do. 3. Their justice is worth fighting for by virtue of being what they believe in.

Does this seem familiar? Maybe makes you think of a certain therapist who shows up in Royal?

I think Takuto Maruki serves a decent amount of purposes narratively and thematically, but one of the most genius things about him is that he serves as a foil to both the Phantom Thieves and Akechi, and in being that foil, he is, deep down, following the principles that the Phantom Thieves fought for - In the end, it was largely Joker who inspired him to fight for his reality.

Maruki fights for a reality where suffering straight up doesn't exist, because he doesn't want anyone to feel the suffering he's had to endure. Maruki wants the Phantom Thieves and Akechi to never feel suffering anymore, regardless of their stance on the matter. He is "saving" them regardless of their wishes, and will fight them to keep the reality he wants. He thinks the world is unfair, so his "justice" is to make a perfect world for everyone - and that's what makes it worth fighting for, because that's what he believes.

Maruki's rationale to fight against the Phantom Thieves and Akechi is (partly) the same reasoning that the Phantom Thieves use to regain their motivation to fight the Holy Grail/Yaldabaoth.

So, narratively, Maruki serves as a mirror that's telling things not to be told for the Phantom Thieves to look into and to see the ugly parts of their own way of acting. Can they really fight Maruki, knowing that he is just acting how they did?

I see people sometimes refusing Maruki's reality because it "wouldn't actually work" or "it's imperfect". But as far as I'm aware, it's imperfect because it hasn't been completed yet - I think the game is a lot more interesting under the pretense that Maruki truly has the power to erase all suffering, once his reality is complete, past the deadline. I also see the argument, and even the game uses it, that Maruki's world "isn't reality". But did we listen well to Morgana's speech before he disappeared in the Yaldabaoth arc? The world itself is made up of cognition, reality is born from the points of view of everyone. Maruki *can* change reality, and the real question of the game is not about the logistics or "ontological dignity" of his reality, but rather - Do you want a world where all your wishes are granted and no suffering exists?

In the end, the game shows the Phantom Thieves that "sticking to their justice" will make them fight against people with similar ideals as theirs. It's funny, in a way, how Akechi was the one fully willing to fight Maruki from the start. His rebellion has always been more individualistic in nature than the Phantom Thieves' - he wanted revenge for himself, then redemption for himself and now he wants a reality where he isn't under anyone's control anymore. To him, Shido's country, Yaldabaoth's ruin and Maruki's world are all the same - Maruki just has a nicer, more therapy-speaky way of presenting his proposal, and sees people as his equals rather than as insolent masses, but his goal is the same. They're all worlds that shackle you for the "greater good". And in the end, Maruki, and Royal, force the P5 gang to become more like Akechi - to value their individuality in the face of the public's "justice".

To fight for what you believe in you will face people with the same determination as you. They will be your equals in many, many ways. In the end, you can only stick to your guns and hope that what you believe in is worth more than what they believe in.

I have a lot more to write about these topics but I'll leave it there. Maybe about the relationship between Maruki's reality and individuality next? That could be fun ^^

Btw - Special thanks to @thedaythatwas for inspiring me to write up stuff about Persona 5 Royal!

[ascendanttarot]

PAC: Reassuring Messages From The Universe

Hi everyone! I have a feeling some people may need a pick-me-up at the moment hence why I made this reading. I think this may be my longest reading so far! There will be signs listed before to ensure the message is for you. If you resonate with one or more signs, that is meant to be your reading. At the end, each pile will also have a quote and channelled song to listen to that resonates with your reading. The specific lyrics that I heard are listed below the title. :)

Please remember your fate is not set in stone so your answers may change depending on the actions you take and will take if you please. Tarot is not a substitute for professional advice. The images I’ve used are not mine.

From left to right, Pile 1, 2 & 3.

Pile 1

Signs:

You may be a Lana Del Rey fan, or at least have one of her songs be your one of your favourite songs

You may be really creative. Specifically, I see most of you here are artists because I just saw an image of someone’s hand covered in paint like a make-shift palette to find the right colour, or someone wiping away excess paint on their skin

You may be left-handed. To be honest, this kind of relates back to the art thing because I just heard someone swearing because their pencil sketches were smudged by their hand again lol

You are a ride-or-die friend. I’m not picking up any signs that the people who picked this pile could be ‘low maintenance friends’ because all I could feel was a loyal and passionate heart, particularly towards their friends

Okay this is an odd message but some of you here are DEHYDRATED, like you’re not even thirsty anymore this is beyond that. Please drink some water if you haven’t at all today

Back to music here, but do some of you spend hours making playlists? I just saw someone using a lot of their free time to curate playlists. I even saw some of you here like making playlists for specific people

Another weird message here but I just smelled crayons, so I’m interpreting this in a few different ways: you may be connected to your inner child, or you may work with children/have plans to work with children, or you would like to be a parent/are a parent

Your Cards: The Emperor, Knight of Cups rx, Page of Wands rx, Justice rx, The Star, 10 of Pentacles

Your Reading:

Okay, the first thing I heard while looking at these cards were the words, “Lost time” and I think that sums up half of your reading quite well.

The cards show that at the beginning of this particular situation, you felt like you were fully in your power. A very Mars-dominant energy to be in, or an Aries energy to be in wherein you felt like you could take on anything. It’s like this was a time when your confidence was at an all-time high about yourself, but also about something. For most of you, this ‘something’ was a project. For some of you, this could be a relationship. The point is, this was something in your life you felt was given to you like you’ve waited for this and finally you’ve got it, but that hope didn’t last.

As we moved on, I felt heavy feelings of frustration. Like you were ready to spring into action but something or someone else was telling you to wait, like they were stringing you along. At the back of your mind, you knew you were being taken advantage of, but you decided to stick with it anyway. I just heard, “It’s worth it.” So maybe this was something you wanted for so long that you felt like you had to stick to it because you couldn’t see how another opportunity could be better than this. I’m really sensing this was a career move for some of you here. Maybe some of you were promised a promotion but you didn’t get it. Maybe some of you were given false hope by a higher-up that this project idea of yours would be taken seriously, but you just had to wait for the right time.

And these people kept giving you excuses. If this were a relationship, I could sense that maybe this was someone who you thought would be ready to fully commit to a relationship, but they never ended up being mature enough to make that decision. It could even be a platonic relationship, and this person wanted you and them to be more casual friends, but you were ready to be a ride-or-die as I’ve stated in the signs above. The overwhelming feeling here is that you got the shorter end of the stick.

But, of course, this doesn’t last. The universe is trying to tell you that if you were broken down before and were able to build yourself back up again, then you can do that now. For most of you, I feel you’ve already left this situation and are worried that this was a mistake, and that you shouldn’t have left in the first place, but the cards are saying otherwise.

Your hope was burned out because of what you’ve gone through. You’ve sacrificed your hope and your sense of self, but the next chapter of your life won’t ask you to do that anymore. If anything, this new chapter will nurture all of those traits you have always felt were intrinsically part of who you are.

If this were a relationship, you’d probably take a break from dating for a while, but your friendships will be a cornucopia of love and support, with new and old friends alike. If this was a job or project, a new opportunity will not only cause success, but stable success. The universe is giving you the new direction you need. “One door closes so the other one opens.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 1!

Your Channelled Song: Let The Light In by Lana Del Rey and Father John Misty

“Put the Beatles on, light the candles, go back to bed”

“Put the TV on and the flowers in a vase, lie your head”

“Ooh, let the light in

At your back door yelling 'cause I wanna come in

Ooh, turn your light on

Look at us, you and me back at it again”

Pile 2

Signs:

You may be a blunt and direct person, and you may have even gotten in trouble for this in the past. Really, I could sense you’re just a BS detector. I also saw someone rolling their eyes and saying “C’mon, talk to me straight I’ve got things to do!” haha!

I just heard ‘homebody’, so I feel like plenty of introverts have picked this pile!

You may be the sarcastic, unintentionally funny friend. If you know you know. But to specify I saw someone in a group setting saying something like “I hate half of the people in this room/I didn’t want to go—I got dragged here by my friends, please don’t talk to me” and someone laughing because they didn’t think you were serious (You were)

You’ve got a dry/witty sense of humour when you do try to make a joke intentionally, but either no one gets it, or it may be a touch too dark for their taste (Nothing problematic though!)

I got tempted to swear so many times writing out these signs so you may swear a lot. Like sometimes, if you’re in a professional environment you may find it difficult to filter out your words because of how automatic it is for you

I also feel like you’re really articulate. The first word I actually thought to describe your humour was ‘sardonic’ and I wasn’t even sure what that word meant so I can guarantee you that did not come from my mind (Yes, I had to Google the meaning)

For astrological signs, you may have Scorpio and/or Virgo in your chart. Possibly a stellium. With how active your mind is coming through in this reading and how much communication is highlighted in this section, I would not be surprised if your dominant planet is Mercury, or if you have many aspects involving that planet in your chart

Your Cards: The Hermit rx, 2 of Cups, 5 of Swords, 2 of Swords rx, King of Wands

Your Reading: Pile 2, please don’t get mad, but when I opened up to your energy, I was expecting a different message than what I delivered right now. I was ready to get serious, to go into deep waters and dive face first. But when I saw the cards… I may or may not have audibly giggled.

Not in a bad way! Hear me out before you scroll, I promise I’m saying this with the same fondness as a best friend, but pile 2, I know you’ve been in hermit mode for a while and are very comfortable staying there, but the universe isn’t really going to let that slide. For most of you, I could see you not wanting to go out but being pushed to do so by a friend. For some of you, you’ve even been convinced by some of your close friends to go on blind dates or new places to meet people in general, and you go but you really don’t want to.

The message here is clear: You’re going to meet someone new. For most of you, this will be a romantic partnership. For my aromantic folks or my readers who are simply not at all interested in romance, this will be a platonic relationship. Whatever this is, I could specifically see one person here coming out of nowhere and earnestly offering you love or friendship with respectful persistence, you wouldn’t even know what to do with them at first. I think a lot of you here have closed yourself off, not to your pre-existing close relationships, but to new people. This person is going to test that wall you’ve built around yourself and despite how much you try to intimidate them, they are not going away. Think of someone with ‘golden retriever’ vibes, which is funny because as I was tapping into your energy I got ‘black cat’ vibes from you. (I just heard, “The Arthur to my Merlin” and “The Gwen to my Morgana” whether platonically or romantically doesn’t matter, but wow, do I have some Merlin fans/old Merlin viewers in this pile)

In all seriousness though, I don’t think you have this boundary up for no reason. I’m seeing a very specific message of someone in the past that you used to trust no longer being in your life because they’ve done you wrong. This could possibly even be a betrayal of trust? Like you told them a secret, but they shared it with one person, and it quickly spread through word-of-mouth. The severing of that relationship was as fast as the betrayal done by the other person.

This made you more guarded towards newer people in your life. But also, I could see this even had a domino effect making you wary of new experiences and environments too because you’re scared you’ll meet a new person that way.  The universe is saying this past relationship has clouded your judgment and will cloud your judgment when you meet this new person. What you don’t realise is that this person could actually be good for you if you take a chance. Some of you may be worried about co-dependency. The universe is actually saying that a relationship like this will actually make you more independent, and this is because this person is emotionally mature enough to actually commit. They’ll give, you’ll take. You’ll give, they’ll take. It feels like two people who genuinely see each other as equals, and therefore respect each other as such. Their commitment and genuine belief in you will make you a more confident person in the future, but more importantly, you’ll be bolder in your choices in life. You’ll grow to have a brave heart that other people will appreciate in you, and that you’ll appreciate in yourself. “Fortune favours the bold.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 2!

Your Channelled Song: King and Lionheart by Of Monsters and Men

“We won’t run, and we won’t run, and we won’t run”

“I’ll be here to hold your hand”

“'Cause you're my king and I'm your lionheart”

Pile 3

Signs:

Your sun sign may be an earth sign or an air sign. I also feel like some people who picked this pile may be a Leo rising or have a Leo Midheaven, but more on the Leo rising actually

I feel like some of you here may have curly hair

You may be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community

You prefer winter palettes over lighter and pastel colours for your clothes. I’m not getting a specific style but the colours here are striking. Either an all-black outfit but with the same shade of black making you appear more put together, or someone wearing jewel-toned colours like emerald green or a very striking purple

You may like wearing statement pieces. I saw this image of you in someone else’s point of view, admiring a watch you always wear or commenting on how they know you’ve just been in the room because they smelled your perfume. Picture this, someone walks into an office and just says, “Was pile 3 here—actually, you don’t need to answer that I know they were here.” And the other person who doesn’t know you getting really confused so they clarify by saying, “Oh, I know they were here because they’re the only one in this building that wears (insert fragrance here)”

Some of you here may have a ritual of listening to music in the morning while you’re getting ready to hype yourself up. All genres are coming up right now, (No, seriously. It went from Gangsta’s Paradise to successful by Ariana Grande songs to It's a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock 'N' Roll)) but what unifies these songs together is that it’s there to put you in a good mood in the morning

You may be interested in working for yourself by either starting a new business or working your way to the top. Highly ambitious energy coming from this pile, but in all the best ways possible; it makes your energy infectious. Yes. That word specifically. Just a really great energy to be around

Your Cards: 5 of Wands, 3 of Pentacles, 8 of Swords, High Priestess, The Star (clarified by 3 of Cups)

Your Reading:

Okay, I want to preface this reading by saying that this pile feels similar to pile 1. You may not have had the same circumstances, but the arc is similar, so if you are attracted to pile 1, feel free to read it as a supplementary reading after this.

There’s a very clear energy here that you may have had a falling out with people in your life. This could be a group of co-workers, friends, or even family members. There was chaos surrounding your previous situation and you felt like people were constantly at each other’s throats. If it was not as aggressive as this, it is possible that at the very least you were in an environment you did not feel safe. I think these people showed their true colours, so to speak, and it made you realise how you shouldn’t have trusted certain individuals involved. The thing is though, I can feel you being an outsider in this situation. Like from the start of all of this, you made it clear to everyone you did not want to get involved. I literally just heard, “Get over yourself.” from this pile, so maybe some of you here may even feel that people were blowing up a whole pile of nothing, and/or that they all needed to act more maturely about the situation. I also feel like one person may have taken something personally when they shouldn’t and that could’ve made you particularly frustrated because you felt this person missed the point completely.

I could see that you tried providing counsel to try to smooth things out, but no one listened. This was your last straw. You left or will leave this situation and the universe applauds you for doing so. I think a lot of people in this situation had a victim complex. This is not a judgment on them, it’s simply a message that they have a lot of unhealed wounds they need to work on. You didn’t stand by this though, and this led to you making your boundaries clear and cutting yourself off completely. For some of you, this may be a temporary situation (I heard, “Fix this or don’t bother coming back.”) but for most of you, this may be a temporary step away from these people.

The universe saw that you trusted your gut and left and are rewarding you as such. I think you have a logical mind and are not used to making decisions intuitively, but this all happened because you did what felt right, and this show of trust is going to lead to positive effects.

For the people who picked this pile, I’m getting a strong message that your intuition is a muscle, and that’s true for most people but it’s especially true for yourself. I think you’ll be asked to make more quick decisions in the next phase of your life, Some decisions have larger consequences than others, but most will be small and trivial decisions such as, “Which café should I visit today?”. Before you might’ve picked the familiar or logical option, but now you’re allowing more spontaneity in your life, and this may even surprise you a little bit. I just heard one of your friends saying, “But you always go there!” and seeing you shrug before saying, “Well, I’m in the mood to try something new.”

This will reward you with a new sense of self. The 3 of cups traditionally has a more social meaning, like friends who see each other as equals coming together to celebrate, but for you, I could see this as different sides of yourself finally living in harmony with one another. With all of that stress gone, you’ll finally have the chance to recognise how deeply complex and interesting you are, and you’ll do so with an acceptance you may have not known you needed. “To know myself is to love myself.”

Thank you for letting me be your reader, Pile 3!

Your Channelled Song: “New Person, Same Old Mistakes” by Tame Impala

“I can just hear them now

"How could you let us down?"”

“Two sides of me can't agree”

“Feel like a brand new person… I don’t care I’m in love”

[lemontwistee]

Still so incredibly pissed off about the My Lady Jane and Acolyte cancellations. These were 8 episode shows released maybe 2 months ago with pretty limited marketing. And they were expected to get blockbuster level views? What irritates me the most is that they had good reviews, TIKTOK was losing their minds editing these shows. But it wasn’t popular enough? Wasn’t liked enough? Bullshit.

8 episodes are simply not enough to create a well rounded show. Sorry. And only giving a show two months before pulling the plug? What really bothers me with Amazon prime is that Maxton Hall had almost the same level of success and attention that My Lady Jane did but that show is getting a second season? Not griping about it because I also loved Maxton Hall but? Make it make sense.

Now as for Disney. You finally release a good show, an interesting show, a show headed in a new direction and say nah? Disney is locked in this idea that the only way to make a successful show is by playing the nostalgia factor. Okay well the nostalgia factor is good and dead so quit beating it. Kenobi? Made for nostalgia. Boring. Ashoka? Made for nostalgia. Boring. (Not hating on these shows they just didn’t do it for me and it felt like they were only created to tug on nostalgia strings rather than created to tell a story.) The Acolyte was the first Star Wars media I have actively enjoyed since Rouge One. And it’s not even being given a chance.

I’m also going to real quick bring up The Artful Dodger. I loved that show and it was really well done. But again it was only 8 episodes. And I guess it was only marketed as a mini feature? So 8 episodes is all we were gonna get from the start? What the fuck was the point of that? If you’re gonna do that why not make it a fully fledged season so you can really give the characters the closure they deserve? The closure the audience deserves? Ending an 8 episode season that was only ever intended to be 8 episodes open ended is honestly just stupid. Wrap it up guys don’t leave the possibility for a season 2 cause then people will ask for it.

[skyartworkzzz]

COTL Headcanons ramble

Felt like sharing these in case I take a long ass time to draw it out These are still raw in my mind, so some things may change futurely or the way I explain it might not make sense BUT ALAS it is fun to ramble

SO WATCH OUT FOR THE LIST UNDER THE CUT!!

Before Narinder was banished, a feeling of mistrust was already growing amongst the siblings, and one of the reasons for such a thing involved envy (except for Shamura, I like to think they were above finding themselves lower or greater than anyone) Ever since a young age Narinder has always been a fast-learner, and quite skilled at everything he did. Gardening, fighting, cooking, strategizing, he was good. Definitely not perfect, but alarmingly good So as time went by, the Bishops grew colder with him until he eventually turned against them all, and thats where their feeling of envy turned into fear. For both of their own lives and their brother's, because that's when they realized his "flawless" abilities were always and clearly prone to turning him into the monster he then became (smtng like Anakin Skywalker if the image I have of him in my head makes any sense-) Naturally, a feeling of guilt lingers in them for not having been able to see it sooner and stop it, but as Shamura pointed out after Narinder was sealed, this was meant to happen. He was meant to be a monster, and a really good one

Aym and Baal were secretly given to Narinder by Shamura; they performed a ritual by themselves and killed the kits to send them to the Gates. When the brothers arrived, Narinder reluctantly took them in and naturally grew fond of the twins as time went by, but because they were sacrificed as offerings, Aym and Baal were half-immortal (something like the Lamb once they receive the Crown), meaning that they still had mortal needs such as eating or sleeping At the time, Ratau was serving Narinder as the bearer of the Red Crown, and amongst the rat's adventure, the god of Death eventually introduced the red chest we use to sell things for gold. He would request Ratau regularly to send in meals and fish in order to feed Aym and Baal (and I feel like a genius for coming up with why that chest exists hi-) When the kits were finally fully grown and well-trained, they ascended to Divine Guardians of TOWW and officially started serving him Despite their Ascension, Aym and Baal were never trapped into the Gates, so they were able to visit the world above but as ghosts of sorts (which means only a few ppl would be able to see them). It was through these ghostly travels that both were able to learn who their mother was and watched her from afar when not serving TOWW

The Bishops were once mortals before becoming bearers of the Crowns, a long time to ago, meaning that they likely have a life they no longer rememeber For the funs and giggles of it, I like to imagine that this "long time ago" for them was around the times animals still did not wear clothes nor knew how to speak aside from their respective noises AUHAUHASDJSD ALSO POSSIBLY LESS HUMANOID I like the thought of them looking either much more beast-like or just- tiny. Very tiny. As the animals they are AUHAJMDKADS

The Lamb doesnt know how to do SHIT aside from fighting. Im writing my Lamb as an artist in my Death After Life fic for the sake of the angst, but in actuality, they do not care about art that much. I like to think that they'd prefer small silly doodles over full-blown paintings, but if they do put in the time and effort, they manage to make smtng Mona Lisa-esque. So the skill is there, but they prefer to not use it unless for smtng specific. Its like those kinds of hobbies nobody knows u have til u make smtng CRAZY yk This also goes for cooking, except they are truly a Terrible cook, in modern AU Lambert lives off from cheap pizzas and dollar-stored cupnoodles u cannot change my min-

Leshy is the one who'd soften up the most for me. Obv still a fcking GREMLIN but I think he'd be much more considerate than his former self My guy would go from "kys /srs" to "kys /j" ALSO I like to think his and my yellow cat's love language is gifts and/or acts of service, theyre oftenly pampering each other out of the blue <3

This idea is still in the approval stages but.............Shamura remembers a bit of their pre-Bishop life. A bit. And that bit revolves around the fact that they might have known love in the past. Perhaps a romantic one, Im still not sure- Which now that I think about it would make the most sense as to why theyre so forgiving to Narinder, since the Bishop of War would probs want anything but peace with those that wronged them, unless they had a good reason not to cause havoc immediately............

[hajihiko]

Ahhh, I'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, but I'm curious to know what changed Hajime/Izuru's mind in the universe your art takes place in? Like, what made him go from not caring about anything because everything was boring and meaningless, to trying to enjoy life?

I don't really remember what it was in the anime, but it was probably hope. And like, that makes sense if you think about it, considering that's the definition of hope, but hope doesn't usually just happen like that, you know? Especially not to someone who probably had never felt it since the whole Ultimate Hope thing (ironically). In my mind, it's hard to imagine what it could have been, considering nothing ever phased him. I know that whatever gave him hope doesn't have to be that deep, because that's how it is sometimes, but I was wondering what you think it could have been (or more importantly, what you consider it to be in your art)!

Also, this is kinda unrelated, but I find it so cool how much your art makes me really think about the characters. It's amazing how you're able to really see how you've fleshed out the characters through you art, and honestly, you are probably one of my favourite artists because of it.

But anyway, sorry about this long and random rant 😭 Idk why I spend my time analyzing the character and point of view of fictional characters, but I guess sometimes the ADHD brain goes brrrrrr.

Thank you for sharing your art; I hope have a great day or night!

depends on the universe! But I'll assume you mean my general post-game stuff.

I've said it somewhere before so if it's old bread to you bear with me, but basically, it was a genuine dedication to face the big horrible awful feelings that come with trauma and life in general, and also the brain boost of getting to skip the slow growing part even for just a while.

My idea is that Izuru and Hajime are not two separate identities, rather, an amnesiac and horribly traumatized boy was given a moniker he didn't care to accept or deny. It's not like he had any other name to go by. That was Izuru Kamukura.

The brain has these neural pathways of how it responds to things, and his all got burnt out so he could respond with an appropriate talent each time. As a very simplified example, someone might respon to threat with the Flight response, because it worked in a dire situation and the brain decided "that saved us, this is how we will respond from now on".

Hajime, in the game, gets a sudden bump out of those pathways, enabling him to feel things properly and be fully present in his life. Thematically, the big Super Sayian moment is him deciding to not fall into old, but true and tried, brain patterns, and instead taking on the horrific experience of being human, with all the messy Emotions and Failures that comes with it.

When he wakes up from the game, he still struggles, but the artificial boost from his old thinking as well as a conscious, strenuous, painful effort to not repress himself anymore but instead face the things that he did and were done to him, make him able to carve himself into a new Him.

Not the same, in the sense that WHO could say they're the same as they were before a simulated murder game that revealed that you were a killing machine terrorist and so were your friends. But the same as in, he's Hajime Hinata and he decides what exactly that means. To want is an emotion, and he wants to become someone who can experience life fully, and chasing that single feeling of Want opens up the doors to everything else. You might've heard this before but "before you change, you have to want to change".

So in short. What enabled him to get Hopeful so to speak was the combination of a brain kick (you could call that a metaphor for outside help), and a concrete decision to try to do the difficult but right thing. Sounds kind of boring maybe, but everything else comes later - like his interest and care for his friends, an enjoyment of philosophy and the arts, a pleasure from being useful and helpful, a serenity from accepting things as they are, and a thrill that comes with strong genuine emotion (from my own life, sometimes a single moment of !!!! can carry you on for months).

Yes the whole thing is a metaphor for getting better with mental health stuff. It's personal to me okay 😂

(also I like the idea from Miggys fic that his human connections override the apathy and distance so as long as he's around the people he loves he can hold onto what keeps him going)

I love thinking about and building on characters too! Spending tons of time inspecting them like a specimen 🤝 people (and therefore characters) are very interesting to me so I just like rolling them around my brain. Thank you for your interest and kind words!

[atiny-for-life]

Golden Hour feels different and I think I know why...

This album feels a lot less cohesive than all others they've ever released. I'm by no means saying it's bad or you shouldn't enjoy it or support the comeback, but it's still something noteworthy.

They said they were really happy making this album, which is amazing and I'm glad they've been enjoying all the new opportunities they've been getting, but when I listen to most of these songs, I feel like we' we've been given a folder from the producer's computer with all the leftover/unfinished tracks, and I think I may know why that is.

First, I wanna say what I mean by the album being less cohesive: Ateez are big on concept albums. The songs tell a story, they're connected, both conceptiually and lyrically, even as we switch genres. Look to the Fever and World Series where you can track the themes even without knowing about their storyline.

Ateez are also famous for their cinematic songs - Inception, Answer, Guerrilla, Halazia - the instrumentals are layered, interwoven, it feels like you're on a journey as you listen to it. You start in one place and don't know where you're headed until you get there. They're full of unique instruments, random noises, hidden harmonies from Maddox and the vocal line. It's art.

And now move on to Blind, Work, Shaboom, and it's one beat in the back that switches up as we move along but there's nothing new to notice on repeat listens, nothing remarkable to pick out. Wooyoung summed it up as "easy listening" in their KStar Next Door interview. Lyrically, Work is also a lot more repetitive which is something Ateez historically stayed clear of because Mingi and Hongjoong especially are very invested in the writing process and want the songs to have meaning.

Proving my point, they mentioned during the Preview Live that Mingi and Hongjoong worked more on Empty Box and Siren, with Siren even being a contender for the title track and Empty Box being their collective favorite and, hey, look at that, those two are the only songs on the album which are a lot more complex on all fronts, a lot more similar to their usual approach to music.

Looking at the bigger picture, I absolutely don't think it was laziness which led to the slight drop in quality. I think KQ just has a pre-planned release schedule where everything is organized so they can squeeze in comeback promotions between tour schedules and, this time, they had to find a way to squeeze in Coachella, which is an opportunity you simply cannot turn down and they made a judgment call and decided to take preparation time away from the album.

Regardless of how Ateez felt about this, they worked their asses off, and while they're already in the US, they attend interviews, take extra classes, film the music video etc. and thus, weeks of album preparations are now spent on Coachella-related schedules. As a result, there ultimately just wasn't enough time to hole up in the studio as much as they normally would've which, as a performer, must be a whole lot more fun, but isn't so great when you're just a listener.

The Edenary team is still responsible for most of the songs, of course, but they're now also working for Xikers which is likely possible because Hongjoong now has years of experience under his belt and can compose full songs or add finishing touches himself whenever needed while also working on Xikers' music on occasion - we've seen him credited multiple times.

On top of that, they also used a live band at Coachella, meaning their songs had to be translated to acoustic which was most likely fully Edenary's doing and also took them away from preparing for this comeback.

These days, their albums aren't as pre-prepared anymore as they used to be a couple of years ago when we still got song teasers at the end of tracks several comebacks in advance. They've caught up by now, as we've been able to see in behind the scenes footage of Hongjoong in the studio and from his interview with Changkyun from Monsta X (I.M on the Beat) where he largely talked about working on The World - Ep Fin. which was clearly still fresh in his mind.

Normally, this wouldn't be a downside at all, but it does make scheduling conflicts like this something to be cautious about, especially looking back to how exhausted they (and most other K-pop artists) always are between December and February every single year when all the award shows come together.

Whether I'm right or not, I don't know and can't prove, but I think it makes a lotta sense and would explain some things. Either way, watching them perform Work is still fun and it's lovely to see them so happy and thriving, but I do think there'll be a noticable difference when the next album drops without any surprise schedules throwing things off course.

[theacecouple]

I didn't see anything from somerton until about a month ago when he popped up in my recs and I ended up binging his content for about 2 days, but something kept being off and I noticed some of the lies/ignorance, and there was something really dismissive and weird about how he talked about aspecs and women in particular... I stopped watching him cause I watched one of you guys' podcast and realized I also just felt like crap after his videos.

I did end up getting his rwrb video in my recs when it came out cause of the binge and I just remember leaving a comment about the way he talked about aces in it. It was especially upsetting seeing people in the comments who were simply happy he mentioned aspecs at all. He replied to me just saying his cowriter was ace. I don't reply to youtube comments but I just remember wanting to point out that same co-writer he was using as a shield said aces don't face discrimination or conversion therapy, and in that video wrote that aces have to have sex to find out they don't like it. Being something doesn't make you instantly know everything about it, as somerton himself demonstrates with his ignorant comments about gay history.

I'm not really one of his victims since I avoided him as soon as I found him, but I feel bad for all the people he tricked and/or guilted into believing him. I hope some other creators make videos exposing the weird way he manipulated the queer community, cause I think a lot of young folks could use a breakdown of it.

Anyways I just wanted to finish by saying I love you guys' work and learning from you. You helped me understand why certain phrases make me upset, and that and watching your podcast back to back with his videos helped me figure out what I didn't like about Somerton, so you helped protect me from him and not convince myself I was just being Weird as I often do when I get Bad Vibes from someone.

Thank you so much for reaching out <3

It's so fascinating that you stopped watching Somerton after finding us. We've tried to keep things as professional as possible these last 2 years by only citing directly harmful things he's done to us and direct members of our community, and even then it was sparingly and as kind as possible.

When we first spoke with him about including Asexual representation in his future Telos endeavors, he assured us that not only was there already an Ace in the writers' room, but that two real, fully-fleshed out Ace characters were already being written. This was encouraging! After all, we had no way of knowing if he was the kind of cis gay man who loathes Aces or doesn't view us as queer. Since this didn't seem to be the case and rep is important, we supported him. We now deeply regret not doing our research on him first.

Even before his video "The Queer Erasure of Asexuality", we started watching a few of his YouTube videos for the first time and some of the subtext was NOT kind to our community. Subtle things that we'd see get repeated by his fans over and over again, like how queer art is bad these days because all the "artists" and the "exciting queers" who "really lived" died in the AIDS crisis. Or the implication that the Interview with the Vampire reboot was *more queer* because the vampires actually had gay sex on screen, despite this being a complete departure from the source material and neglecting the fact that Anne Rice's vampires have always been undeniably queer *and also* sexless. In fact, we didn't say his name, but we did mention some vague "bad takes" we saw about the series in our podcast episodes 75 & 76 The Triumphs and Failures of AMC’s Interview with the Vampire Part 1 and Part 2...At least some of those came from James.

We did not see his rwrb video, because we had long given up on him by that point, but it is not at all surprising to hear that he had bad takes and also hid behind Nick once again to shield himself from any criticism. It was very much his MO, and yet we're also certain we've heard him chastise straight women for using the "I have a gay friend" defense.

It is so good to hear that our podcast has been helpful to you. There are FAR too many Aces who are willing to let bad behavior or ill-informed takes slide just because someone with a decent following noticed us. We deserve so much better.

[didididraws]

my tablet is currently halfway across the country for repairs (my brother's the most tech-savvy in my family and asking him to take a look at it was cheaper than taking it to a shop) so i haven't been able to draw lately. i've made a bunch of traditional sketches in the meantime, but none of them are presentable enough to post here, so i decided to take a trip down memory lane and fill out one of foxorian's influence maps!

below the cut are the names of the artists featured here, as well as a little bit of director's commentary on how they've influenced me :]

yugo limbo (website, tumblr, twitter) - some time last year, i realized something profoundly unnerving: i actually... don't like the art in smile for me's original release all that much? that's not to say it's bad, just that there isn't a whole lot about it outside of maybe its architecture that stands out to me. which is REALLY WEIRD, considering i wrote a whole retrospective about how much this game means to me. art-wise, however, it was only after smile for me's release that yugo limbo's art evolved in a way that really resonated with me; i love how textured everything is, i love the way they simplify clothing folds and the way that skin wrinkles around the joints, i love their love for puppets; all of those things ended up worming their way into my art style and tastes one way or another, and i couldn't be happier!! it didn't feel right to leave smile for me out of the equation entirely, though, so i chose a piece that was both related to that game and that i felt reflected a lot of what i love about yugo's more recent art.

echobsilly (twitter, tumblr) - oh god, speaking of yugo limbo - god. i fucking love echo's art so much i have no idea how to even do it justice in writing. like many people i first found him through his smile for me/limbolane fanart and animations - and those are some of his best work, don't get me wrong, but i really wanted to include one of his original designs to make a point that he's just fuckin great at art in general. character design, facial expressions, body language, composition, LIGHTING... he makes it all just. so so so gorgeous. i always liked "painterly" art styles for lack of a better word, but i think his art is what first pushed me to embrace that more in my digital art. i also like how he talks about dr. habit like he's his dead wife. i'm very proud to call him a friend these days :]

japhers (tumblr, twitter, instagram) - i first found japhers' art in high school and he very quickly became a HUUUUUGE influence on my taste in character and costume design. one of the big reasons i never fully bought into the idea that men's fashion is inherently harder to design is bc so much of his art is already dedicated to exploring fashion Without the restrictions of a gender binary in place which is to say that he's really good at drawing buff dudes in frilly outfits. i also think he gave me more confidence to draw more intricate costumes without having to worry about super dainty and clean lineart, bc a lot of his art looks like it's kinda been carved/rendered out of sketches, and it is Gorgeous.

moe suppe (website, tumblr, cohost) - another artist i found in high school, albeit originally from a long-gone instagram account. his art is what kickstarted my desire to have some Roughness in my art, some Texture. it may not have stuck to my lineart, but it Definitely stuck to my rendering. it helped that i was going through a pretty big angel/demon phase at the time, which meant i was pretty immediately drawn in by his delightfully weird worldbuilding. i should probably read fear not now that it's an actual serial...

val wise (website, itch.io, twitter, instagram) - a more recent influence, but a pretty significant one nonetheless. i featured the cover of délicatesse here because it was the first thing from him that i had ever read, but in general his grasp on the human body really blows me away given how deceptively simple his style looks at first glance, especially his faces. the way fat and hair sits on her bodies, and how much it varies from character to character... it's beautiful without being So glamorous that it feels untouchable. his costume design is also great. i recommend his comics for low fantasy/ursula k. le guin fans who are Dying to see more fat characters in leading roles. i also just found out that i am of two hearts is free on itch.io, so i'll be treating myself to that over spring break.

partycoffin (tumblr, twitter) - if you have known me for any amount of time at all then this should not come as a surprise to you. i actually wasn't going to include partycoffin in this map at first, because while welcome home has inspired me in Many creative pursuits, i didn't think visual art was one of them? i definitely picked up some of clown's love for dramatic lighting and thinner lines with just a smidge of well-placed hatching subconsciously, though.

ryoko kui - probably the most recent artist featured here? anyways i have a confession to make: i have yet to read dungeon meshi. i just know that when i saw a post compiling a bunch of ryoko kui's sketches from her daydream hour series, i was so overwhelmed with this feeling of, like… "oh, yeah, these capture almost everything i love about women as flesh and blood people. when i draw women this is the kind of beauty that i want people to see in them." of course, ryoko kui is a great character designer in general, but something about her women specifically really speak to me. the earthier color palettes and rendering also do a lot to endear her art to me.

shuzo oshimi - specifically his art in blood on the tracks. something that really stood out to me in that series was whenever the shadows would get really intense, and you'd get these big blocks of black with just the faintest bit of hatching to soften out some of their edges. it was always very effective in creating this sense of claustrophobia. i really want to keep incorporating that in my more intense pieces!

person918x (tumblr, instagram) - i don't work with 3d art often and i don't see myself doing so any time soon, but the composition of person918x's pieces is something i take a lot of inspiration of. i also love his sequential art, as someone who does a lot of dream journaling it's sick to see the exact Vibe of a dream be put to (digital) canvas. i also firmly believe that he's one of the only people out there who knows what he's doing when it comes to using generative AI in art.

oops i made this list too long so now i have to put the last two artists in a new block.

10. meatgiri (twitter, instagram) - definitely the artist i've known about the longest out of this selection. i think i've been following her since…. oh god. since i was in middle school. way before she was meatgiri, even. i think her influence probably shows up the least in my art, but there are definitely some characteristics that stuck with me for a very long time (the lil block of black accompanied by one or two lines for shading on the neck, the looser lineart making it really easy to incorporate soft curves and sharp edges, the Eyes, etc etc.) i chose this drawing of her oc juniper bc i thought it was both reflective of her current art And a good embodiment of a lot of things i wanted to emulate from her art as a young'un.

11. dragan bibin (website, instagram) - specifically his 'deimos' series. much like with person918x, it's his compositions that really stand out to me the most, and you probably know by now that i'm a sucker for high contrast. i find it interesting though that he uses high contrast to obscure more than he does to highlight... helps a lot with giving the deimos paintings that air of Quiet Unease. another thing i want to incorporate in my horror-adjacent art! manmade environments gone wrong!

[houkagokappa]

More Yuri, More Manga

It's been a year since I embarked on my journey to read more yuri manga and it's time for a second update!

After all the yuri manga I read for my previous post, I set my eyes on josei and came to the conclusion that josei that either focuses on wlw or contains wlw relationships, is the best kind of manga there is. I read a lot of josei, and as for works that were also yuri, I read Love My Life, Indigo Blue and Free Soul by Yamaji Ebine, based on a recommendation from @theurbanfuturesoftherecentpast (thank you!!!). Yamaji Ebine has a neat minimalist style and she writes messy complex characters. All her manga had a realistic feel to them, which I enjoyed.

I explored other queer works and stumbled upon Yuri to Koe to Kaze Matoi by Renjouji Mei, which is a yuri manga focused on two asexual women and their relationship. Once again, I found the characters highly relatable and realistic. It's nice to see some asexual representation, but at the same time, I wouldn't have minded more development between them, although that might be on me and the expectations I have when I pick up a new yuri title, that unfortunately didn't fit this manga or topic. Both characters were ace, but the protagonist felt romantic attraction whereas her crush didn't. While they got a happy ending, I didn't feel fully satisfied, and would've liked if the manga had explored the partially unresolved feelings more, mostly due to personal reasons, even if the conclusion would've been the same (which it probably would've).

Back to some high school yuri, I finished Omoi no Kakera by Takemiya Jin, which I actually started reading early last year. It's another manga that's relatable to me, as it portrays characters with different sexualities, who befriend each other due to the shared experience of being young, closeted queer people. We got wlw/mlm solidarity, and characters who are more secure with their sexualities looking over those who are still trying to figure theirs out. The interactions and communities reminded me of the queer youth group I used to be part of :') In addition to that, I liked the portrayal of different kinds of attraction, and how the focus was on the life of a queer person, rather than a specific romance they experienced, since there's indeed more to being queer than some singular love story. Out of all the manga on this list, this is one of my top recommendations, and at some point I should check out Takemiya's other works. She's out as a lesbian, and you can tell she writes based on lived queer experiences.

One day when I didn't have anything else to read, I picked up Luminous=Blue by Iwami Kyoko (same author as Kyou wa Kanojo ga Inai kara). It had the same beautiful artstyle as Kyou wa Kanojo ga Inai kara, was slightly less toxic, but equally messy when it came to the relationships. Luminous=Blue is about a transfer student who loves photography. She starts taking photos of her two new classmates, who unbeknownst to her used to go out with each other, and still harbour some lingering feelings towards each other. I was a fan of the different relationship dynamics and happy with the direction the manga and the relationships took, although the last pages included a twist which felt a little out of place. It's a shame, because if it had been given more time, it could've been a very interesting and welcome development, and I'm curious if Kyou wa Kanojo ga Inai kara will go in a similar direction, since it has the prerequisites for it.

I also read Toumei na Usui Mizuiro ni by the same author, which had an interesting premise of a girl with a crush on her female childhood friend, who was dating their other, male childhood friend. Normally I like this kind of setting with love triangles that include both straight and queer relationships, but since this was only 3 chapters long, the characters and their dynamics weren't established enough for the story to feel as cohesive and satisfying as it could've. At least the art was gorgeous once again, and I enjoyed the messy relationships. The volume contained two one shots as well, which I think were kinda fun, but I cannot remember that well anymore.

Next up, I read Moonlight Flowers by Tsukumo Mutsumi, based on a personal recommendation from someone who has since escaped tumblr. It's one of the older yuri works there are, as it was written in 1989. It's only one volume long and contains two stories about women who are pressured to marry men, and end up in miserable marriages, until they decide to leave their husbands to be with the women they love. It has a strong feminist message and I've seen a lot of people praise it online, but I wasn't too fond of it. I couldn't quite connect with the characters, and because of that, I didn't particularly enjoy reading about women lacking rights, or homosexuality not being socially accepted. However, I can see how others might be able to feel inspired or empowered reading about characters who overcome the obstacles in their way. It was also quite dramatic, but I will always be in favour of that (even when it's ridiculous, like it was here).

I continued with Sakura no Sono by Yoshida Akimi, which was another recommendation from the same person. It's another old manga, first published in 1985, about the romances of four girls in a drama club of an all girls high school. I found Yoshida's style charming, but it's not among my personal favourites. Some characters looked quite similar and were hard to distinguish. It was disappointing to realise that only one chapter focused on a girl crushing on another girl, while the other romances and the majority of the manga were about straight characters/relationships. If I would've known that from the start, I could've adjusted my expectations accordingly, which is a shame, because now I'm mostly disappointed by the lack of yuri, and it's harder for me to appreciate the work as a whole. It was decent, but quite forgettable.

Then I completed Watashi no Muchi na Watashi no Michi by Momono Moto (same author as Yuunagi Marbled and Kimi Koi Limit from my previous post). I first started reading it 5 years ago, but didn't finish it due to the scanlation taking its sweet time. Now I read it from start to finish. It's about a woman in her early 20's, who's spent all her life pleasing others, and is on the path to marry a male childhood friend of hers, simply out of duty to him and her mom, before her female coworker steps in and swoops her away. The manga takes a weird turn after that, as it turns out the coworker might've had some ulterior motives getting close to our protagonist, but it's interesting, until a somewhat abrupt ending. It was nice to read about a young adult who never cared for romance until she fell in love with her coworker, and for once I didn't even mind the plot point where she was about to marry a man, since it made sense for them and he wasn't overly vilified for how he reacted to her rejection or the reveal of her relationship with another woman (not that it was great either). The art was nice and I liked all the characters. It wasn't anything groundbreaking, but it was a fun read.

Another recommendation from @theurbanfuturesoftherecentpast was Maka-Maka by Kishi Torajiro, an adult manga about the close relationship between two best friends, Jun and Nene. The manga is two volumes long with short chapters in full colour, which required some adjustment from me as I'm usually only reading manga in black and white. It didn't feel like any other yuri I've read, in a good way! My absolute favourite part was how comfortable Jun and Nene were with each other, with a strong mental connection, and frequent, casual sexual encounters. Their relationship felt real and I loved how they kept smiling throughout the sex scenes, which made for an interesting combination of wholesome and horny. I highly recommend this manga, as I'm still thinking about it months later...

Next up, I read Watashi no Sekai wo Kousei suru Chiri no You na Nani ka. by Amano Shuninta. It's about seven university students and their ever changing relationships. Once again, the protagonist was a whole mood as she complained about all her friends having boyfriends which she hated, having a very relatable crush on one of said friends, before getting to live the fantasy of ending up with her. I looooved the inclusion of a toxic lesbian (and her toxic lesbian clique) who would sleep around and toy with others, letting lesbians be flawed people too, but also having wholesome and genuinely good people in the cast, as a counterbalance and showcase of the whole spectrum of different people with different views on love and sex (especially fitting for the university age/setting). There were happy times, but also angst and heartbreak, and bittersweet love, between women who truly cared for each other, but weren't suitable for each other as they had different needs when it came to their relationship and sex life. At first it was a little challenging to keep track of seven different characters, but by the end of it I really enjoyed the various relationship dynamics and the somewhat unlikely friendships that formed between them.

I also read Sweet Guilty Love Bites by Amano Shuninta, which consisted of three short stories about four cabaret girls. The first story was about one of the cabaret girls taking in a random woman she came across, which I didn't care for that much. The second story was about a single mother who unknown to her, hooked up with her child's kindergarten teacher. First she freaked out, thinking she'd be judged for her profession, but the kindergarten teacher was chill and only looking to date her. It was very sweet to see them take care of the child together. I also loved the third story about two cabaret girls who were best friends and roommates, with one of them being very vocal about her love towards women and other cabaret girls, which is a trait I always appreciate. Seeing her pining for her friend/roommate/coworker was great, and precisely the kind of stuff I love! Amano has a lot more in her library and after enjoying these two manga, I think the rest are worth checking out as well. I especially like how her characters are allowed to be horny, but there’s more to her manga than just sex.

Then I picked up Kimi to Shiranai Natsu ni Naru by Keyyan, thanks to the premise which sounded relatable. It’s about two women who are at the end of their university studies and looking for work in Tokyo, facing rejection after rejection. They’ve had enough of it and decide to run away from all the expectations and responsibilities to a small island. First of all, what a mood. Second, I really liked the art, especially the character expressions, and how well their excitement was conveyed. The island setting was also A+, and I loved the portrayal of young adults who were in an established relationship, with no uncertainty or drama about the same-sex relationship itself. They were devoted to each other, and the reason both of them wanted to work hard, so they could provide for one another. Besides that, my feelings towards this manga went back and forth quite a lot. First I enjoyed the escapism, but then I had to take a break because it became too idealised with conveniences you can't count on in real life. Once I picked it back up again, I realised that the story actually does stick to reality, when the characters start to worry about money and finding permanent work on the island. While I was happy with that development, it backfired as I was reading this while I was away from home myself, and anxious about my own future in regards to my education and employment, so reading about their struggles felt a bit too real and stressful. Unfortunately, it seems like the series got axed, because the ending was sudden and can be interpreted in two opposing ways, one depressing, one hopeful, and neither fits the story I can only assume the series wanted to tell. It's still a manga worth reading, but maybe in the right mindset.

Although I try to stay away from ongoing works, Dore ga Koi ka ga Wakaranai by Oku Tamamushi seemed fun, so I couldn't help but check it out. It’s about a girl who is unable to confess to her high school crush of 3 years, and starts university determined to find a girlfriend. And oh boy does she find potential girlfriends! She instantly meets and falls for five different women, who also become enamoured with her. What follows is a bunch of flirting, some deliberate, some accidental. The catch is, she doesn't know which one to pursue seriously. The tone is lighthearted and comedic, and the series is best described by the tagline to one of the chapters as "an endless conveyor belt of yuri encounters". I like all the girls, the girls and their embarrassed or flustered expressions are very cute, and instead of the setting falling apart with five people never confessing or trying to seriously pursue the main girl, some do, while others have believable reasons to hold back. The pace is quick enough for any interruptions or miscommunications to not feel aggravating, with several encounters each chapter. I'm curious to see how the manga will continue and potentially end, with some ships seeming more likely than others, since there has been some actual development! I'll also throw it out there, that this manga is a good example of why dark haired girl/light haired girl is an established pairing, since the main pursuer at the moment has light hair and bangs like the protagonist, and it can be a little difficult to tell them apart from some panels or angles.

Another ongoing work I began reading because it ticked the right boxes for me was Sukeban to Tenkousei by Fujichika. As the name suggests, it’s about the somewhat unlikely relationship between a delinquent girl and a sweet transfer student. The manga is set in the Showa era in the 80s and has very charming art. I thought it would be pretty lighthearted and fun, opposites attract type of story, but then one of the characters saw how romantic love was defined as feelings towards the opposite sex, heartbroken by the fact there wasn't a name for her feelings, and I was in tears thinking of anyone who's ever felt that pain. Otherwise, it's mostly a comedy and a fun, easy read, with not that many chapters out yet.

Finally, reaching the anniversary of my year long yuri journey, I finished reading the manga adaptation of Murasakiiro no Qualia, by Ueo Hisamitsu and Tsunashima Shirou. It's a sci-fi series with psychological and mystery elements, about Yukari, a girl with purple eyes who sees humans as robots, and Gaku, the protagonist who befriends her. There are a lot of twists and turns to the story, and it gets gory and dark, as Yukari uses her abilities to help the police solve murder cases and later gets involved with a secret organisation. It's also very philosophical and a bit difficult/slow to read at times, when characters get surprisingly deep into quantum mechanics. I liked the narration a lot, because there's a lot of repetition and Gaku, who's telling the story, jumps back and forth on the timeline, giving the reader more context and insights each time. I was also a huge fan of the character development she went through, starting to exhibit truly unhinged behavior to a level that's hard to find elsewhere, but also oddly reminiscent of Madoka Magica? The ending was satisfying, and it was cool to see it circle back to the beginning. I didn't know anything about this manga beforehand and after a curious start, it kept getting better and better. I originally found out about it in the tags of a tumblr post complaining about variety in yuri, so this is me giving back to the community and passing on the recommendation.

...That was a lot more yuri to add to the library, and there are still so many different works I look forward to reading! I don't know if I'll continue documenting my journey, as I'm probably going to slow down on the yuri a bit, but who knows if the bug bites me again and I won't read anything else for months on end! Again, thank you for reading through all this, I hope you're inspired to read some yuri yourself, and if you have any recommendations I'm always happy to hear them!

[starry-nights-17]

Thank you @bawlbrayker for the tag. Let's give this a go!

rules: post the first lines of your last 10 fics/chapters posted on AO3 (if you have less than 10 fics posted, post the first lines of all your fics) and try to draw some conclusions.

1: It wasn’t that Mickey was still in the closest, he wasn’t. While it might have taken some time, he was now in a place in his life where he had fully accepted his sexuality. It’s just that he didn’t see the point of shouting it from the rooftops, of dressing up in rainbow coloured shit or painting glitter all over yourself or waving flags like a kid on St. Patrick’s  Day. The drunken assholes he had to deal with on that day were bad enough but today the streets were even louder and more colourful and unreasonably fucking happy. (Lost....or found?)

2:

“You can’t stop me from going dad,” Ian shouted, as he tossed clothes and toiletries into a large back pack.

“I’m about to be announced as the candidate Ian, you need to be here, where I…”

His father, Governor Clayton Gallagher, trailed off and his eyes darted away. Ian snorted because he knew why, “Where you can keep an eye on me, huh”

His father sighed wearily and stepped closer, “It’s not like that Ian, that’s not fair. I worry about you, we all do and this is a crucial time for me, for the whole family. Vice President, you know how much it means to me Ian and how long I’ve wanted this”. (The Secret of Art)

3:

“Jesus Mandy, you look poured into that shit,” Mickey teased, as he took in his younger sister’s outfit for the evening, a skin tight black leather jumpsuit. Unsurprisingly she had left the zip opened, daringly low, exposing her cleavage.

“Least I’m wearing an actual costume shithead; you look pretty much like you do every day”.

He snorted and finished styling his hair before adding the final part of his outfit (he refused to call it a costume).

“Huh, not bad right,” Mickey suggested confidently, as he cocked an eyebrow at her.

Mandy begrudgingly smiled and nodded, “Fine, looks better, least it’s more obvious now”.

“Fuck you bitch, I look badass and you know it. Told you I wasn’t gonna wear fucking gay ass tights or a cape or whatever” (Not All Heroes Were Capes)

4:

“TJ, c’mon, you’re gonna be late for school”

He groaned into his pillow, upon hearing his Dad’s voice grow even louder, as he shouted down the hallway for a second time. TJ knew he was pissed by his tone but his Dad didn’t get it, no one did. School was like his own living hell. His Dad had probably been popular and had fit in, not like TJ. He was the school outcast apparently which made him a prime target for the resident bullies. Not only was he the only kid he knew with a single gay Dad for a parent but he didn’t belong to any of the cliques at school. (Circles)

5:

“Listen up!”

Mickey raised his voice to his students, who had started to pack up upon hearing the bell to indicate the end of class. “Your latest assignment, which is due by the end of next week, is to outline three themes found in Pride & Prejudice and describe how they apply today, if they still do”.

He chuckled as the entire room erupted into a loud groan before they started exiting one by one. “Yeah yeah, I’m an asshole for giving you homework on a Friday, tell someone who cares”. (Parachutes)

6:

Ian gripped the phone tightly in his hand as he sat on the edge of his temporary bed in the dingy roadside motel.

“Mam died, thought you should know” the text read simply. No emotion, no greeting, nothing but the bare minimum, six basic words.

He sniffed back a few tears as he reminisced about the only person he ever truly missed back home in Ireland, his grandmother Margaret or Mags as she preferred to be called. His own mother or at least the woman who had given birth to him had sent him a message for the first time in about a year to inform him of his grandmother’s passing and he supposed it was better than nothing. He felt helpless and paralysed in his grief, however, knowing that he couldn’t do anything about the situation. He couldn’t return home, he couldn’t attend her funeral, if her ungrateful children even bothered to organise one of course. (Growing On Me)

7: Ian marveled as it occurred to him that this was about to be their second Valentine’s Day spent together as husbands. The first one occurred only weeks after they had moved into their first real home together, a place free of Gallagher siblings and run away Milkovich cousins. It was the first place which offered complete privacy and a sense of pride considering it was a real nice apartment on the West Side which they paid for with legally earned wages. They had struggled for a few months upon moving in as their security business was only taking off and they had to spend whatever extra cash they had on furniture and essentials but now they felt stable and so Ian wanted to do something extra special this year for Mickey. (These Little Things)

8:

“Assholes” Mickey muttered to himself as he slammed his front door shut and tossed his jacket on the couch.

He grabbed a cold beer from the fridge and gulped down half of its contents immediately. He shook his head knowing that his sister Mandy was going to give him yet another irritating and unwelcome earful. But she had just struck it lucky, she actually liked her job, whereas Mickey wasn’t sure he could ever like any job enough to stick it out. Mostly he figured he just hated people, most people anyway so that instantly ruled out an awful lot of jobs. Customer service, cashier, retail, hospitality, you name it, Mickey had tried it. (Footprints In The Snow)

9:

Ian was giving serious thought to murdering his younger brother Carl and dumping his body in Lake Michigan but he had sworn never to set foot inside a prison cell ever again, luckily for Carl.

For Christmas he had gifted Ian and Mickey a couple’s card game, whereby you could pull out a card at any given moment to use against your partner. Ironically Mickey wasn’t even interested at first, said card games were only worthwhile if there was money involved. But as soon as he opened the packet and started reading through the descriptions on the cards his face had lit up with that typical mischievous smirk of his. (You've Been Served!)

10:

“Jesus Christ Mick” Ian moaned as he pounded into Mickey relentlessly from behind.

His husband was on all fours in front of him on their bed, as Ian dragged his perfectly round and ample ass back towards his hips, over and over. They didn’t always fuck hard and fast but when they did Ian sometimes got completely lost in the act, lost in his husband’s glorious body, almost to a level where he became feral and animalistic. It was as though he couldn’t get enough of him, could never get deep enough, he wanted to consume the man entirely from the inside out. (12 Days of Sexmas)

Conclusion: So I still cringe hard at my grammar, especially on my earlier fics, but given I literally never wrote anything until about a year and half ago I wont sweat it too much. I prefer the dual pov style but that doesn't mean I'm restricted to that format either. And as the last one shows, I clearly love writing smut lol. I honestly find it hard (no pun intended) to write completely smut free works because to me sex is such a big part of their relationship and I particularly enjoy writing flirtatious banter. If I was to be very critical I worry that my style wont evolve much and I really do want to try and push myself out of my comfort zone. Becoming predictable or boring is my worst nightmare!

Just want to end with saying I'm so eternally grateful to anyone who has read my stuff or sent kudos or left comments. It means the world. X

[sipping-ambrosia-wine]

okay so yorukura definitely didnt stick the landing... honestly episode nine mightve felt like more of a season finale if it had been leading into a season two. i dont think its bad necessarily, splitting kanoyoru toward the end of the story but i dont think they got enough one on one time together before it ended. kimura and kiui really got time to shine, which i do appreciate, but kanoyoru has been set up from episode one. theyre really the heart of the show, and giving them so little time together- even with a relationship left unconfirmed, like in lycoris recoil- kind of kills it. they were going FULL THROTTLE on kanoyoru endgame. they didnt include an aquarium date in episode three a cheek kiss in episode five the motorcycle beach date in episode seven, all of mahiru's teasing and her remarks about a special someone who inspired her and she's interested in for it to be unintentional. their breakup had me on the edge of my seat, but their make up just left me wanting.

kimura and kiui's endgame developments are generally pretty well liked and with good reason. mei got to confess her feelings and she made it clear that in contrast to her reasoning as a fan it was because of her real, less marketable traits that she loved kano. that its because theyre such different people and because she doesnt always understand her or want to emulate her that she loves kano now. and she expressed that through her own real, unmarketable trait, showing a little bit more of her own growth and self acceptance. that said its got a little less punch to it given the use of "nonotan" was nearly back to back with kano's flashbacks of her idol days and her confessing to her father that she can barely remember the last time she was called by her real name. kiui stood up to their explicitly transphobic old friends and regained a bit of that childhood confidence. maybe im a bit dumb bc the trans coding didnt quite fully click for me until then but that really blew me out of the water. like yeah oh loss of self confidence due to social isolation- and onset of puberty. when they clicked with the driving school friend who is also trans, even under the baggy dysphoria fits kano noticed that their chest was slightly bigger than the woman who had work done. kinda masc vtuber rig. pink hair and pronouns. its really cool that they confirmed it!

independent of the yuribait i do think kano and mahiru were decently done like... in all aspects aside from one another. mahiru previously worried about comments criticizing her technical art and it drove her to improve. the JELEE gang's support is why she had the courage to start drawing again in the first place but kano's mom gave constructive criticism, and then praise for the initiative and self improvement when she saw the arm edit. but that focus on technical skills and approval from others becomes a double edged blade and she doesnt deliver her best work until she draws authentically to herself and her tastes as an artist. i feel like they couldve delivered on the jellyfish metaphor, about how jellyfish can only filter and reflect the light around them, but that the light reflected is made more beautiful for it as well or... something. the point of splitting a dynamic duo in the third act is generally to let them breathe and develop apart from one another and prove they can stand on their own before bringing them together stronger for it, but though the theme is still there i feel like they kind of dropped the light and jellyfish dynamic after the fight. that said mahiru's show of devotion to kano being a timeslot at the show, the jellyfish art all over the city, and all of that being done via the show light projectors, mahiru's art made to literally shine for kano was a great touch.

now kano... this might be controversial but i dont see her ending as a "forgiving an abusive parent", or at least i dont think thats the point of it. last we see of her mom is at her graduation ceremony. kano leaves campus and sees her mom and her sister came to see her. she says she made her moms dream come true and she's clearly happy about it- but then she walks away. its not full severance but she's not living on her mom's agenda anymore. her sister was in the car- her mom mightve meant for a family meal after the graduation ceremony. from kano's words this might be the first time theyve seen one another since the concert. but kano has plans with her friends and doesnt even hesitate. her mom discarded her but it was kano who made her dream come true anyway. and now she's moving on to what she built for herself. before, she was singing to prove her mom wrong- but she was still singing because of her. when the set her 100k follower goal she was going off her mom's success model of numbered audience. she was with the sundolls as a nepobaby because her mom was their producer and wanted her in. but JELEE is hers and its what she's pursuing. all that said im dead curious about what's up with her family situation- her dad seems to be a shut in maybe? he's deliberately a gaping abscence in comparison to kano's hypercontrolling mom, and theyre definitely split. and through his viewpoint in kano's flashbacks as well as the fact that he was the reason she was in shibuya to see mahiru's mural, and also the fact that he's the last shot of the ed really makes me wonder.

overall disregarding the finale i'd say the show was still about a 8/10 but even with all that going for it they chickened out on kanoyoru and the whole episode was cheapened by it. maybe the full finalized concert lyrics of shinkai yuei had a more uplifting love song vibe to it, maybe if they had made it clear that she was singing a love song for mahiru. maybe if mahiru had been the one to encourage her instead of melo. i dont dislike these decisions independently, pursuing passions for yourself and the connection it offers with other people rather than one person in particular, forgiving yourself and laying the past to rest are good. but the last episode feels incredibly empty and it feels like overall they actively dodged every opportunity to fulfill the conclusion theyve been dangling since the start. it burns to say since i was rooting so hard for this show but theres really no other word for it but baiting. its yuribait.

[autumnal-prince]

My Time at Evershine

I guess they're reworking Project ME into a more PC/Console friendly version. (This does kind of make it feel like everyone who was given access to Project ME were just unpaid beta testers but...I won't dwell on that too much)

I played Project ME on and off (at least until it stopped working on my device) but I just couldn't fully get into it what with it being a mobile game and all (and unavailable to emulate on Nox). So I am looking forward this as the third My Time game.

I do still have...concerns...though. I'll just put them under a cut if you're interested but be warned: Long winded and probably poorly articulated rambling ahead. TL;DR: Not loving the art style and I'm a bit pessimistic about certain game mechanics.

The first thing is the direction of the art style. It's almost too far from the style of Portia and Sandrock. I know a lot of people complained about that with the previous games. If I had a dollar for every time I saw someone complain about the MC looking like a child or harping on the character proportions...I'd be pretty rich by now. That being said, the the cartoony style was part of the charm and uniqueness of the other games. My Time at Portia is distinct, you really can't mistake it for any other game (like how when you see Code Lyoko, you know it's Code Lyoko and not possibly another show). Even the slightly less cartoonish style of Sandrock still retains that charm. Project ME kept up the Sandrock style so I was hoping if they brought it to PC it wouldn't change much but clearly that isn't the case. With the more realistic style it's lost it's uniqueness. Several people have already pointed out that this new direction makes it look too much like other games (I see a lot of comparisons to Palia and Dreamlight Valley in the YouTube comments) and I can't help but see MiHoYo's signature anime-esque style myself. I'm not saying it looks bad. It looks amazing! It just doesn't look like My Time.

Another thing for me is that it's more of a city builder than a building/farming life sim. Those elements are still there obviously but...trying to build up the settlement takes a lot of time and planning (again, I played Project ME so I already have a feel for this feature) and you're left with little time for the core elements of the game. Hell, I struggled to keep up with commissions while working on the settlement and keeping up relationships and collecting materials AND exploring. I constantly felt like I wasn't making any actual progress. It became stressful and if there is one thing these type of games shouldn't be, it's stressful. Hopefully they'll balance it out better here than in ME.

Lastly, and I know this one is something a lot of people will disagree with me on, but I already have a fear of them focusing too much on multiplayer/co-op. I know there is a (very) vocal group of people who constantly demand multiplayer to be shoved into every. single. game. And when developers kowtow to that demand, singleplayer always suffers. Always. I'm not saying that it shouldn't be implemented for those who want it or if the developers themselves want it but...some of us just want to be left alone to enjoy the story. Especially in a game/genre that is, at it's core, supposed to be a singleplayer experience. Sometimes though, developers focus so much on pleasing multiplayer gamers that they completely neglect the singleplayer campaign. Hell, that almost seemed happen with Sandrock (thankfully, it didn't but it got precarious for a hot minute during early access). This is somewhat two-pronged, too. Usually, you can ignore multiplayer stuff in a game if it also has singleplayer but it's become more common to force the multiplayer/co-op feature onto players recently. Such as locking features of the game or putting up a roadblock in story progression unless you play with other people. I dropped Magic Awakened after only playing for a few weeks because of this. When you can't enjoy a singleplayer storymode without having to do co-op tasks or something it ceases to be singleplayer (and fun...for people like me). I know Pathea wanted to expand on the multiplayer feature for their next game, I just hope they don't expand so much that it destroys the main, singleplayer experience.

To reiterate, these are personal concerns. I know this comes across as whiny and I'm not trying to be but I guess I've just become pessimistic. That being said, I am genuinely looking forward to this game. I've supported Pathea for a long time and I don't plan on dropping that support unless they do something horribly unforgivable (which I honestly don't foresee).

[rascalentertainments]

Okay first of all I’d like to apologize for not sending this in sooner, because I went to finally clear all the tabs from my computer and realized I??? Didn’t press the “ask” button to actually submit these questions??? But here they are, late but I hope they still work!

(If you’ve answered some of these before, feel free to skip them)

What were the symptoms of Asha’s father’s death?

Was Sakina pessimistic after her husband’s death as well?

Will Asha’s wish be turned into a wish orb?

Asha is 18 in this rewrite, so if she stayed in Rosas, would she give up her wish?

Did Sakina give up her wish? Or did she refuse?

What about Sabino?

Does Valentino have a separate design, or are you sticking with the concept art you showed?

What wish gets destroyed for Star to realize that Rosas is actually kind of fucked up?

Are you changing around the order of any songs?

How old are the seven teens in this rewrite?

How is Star’s stand-off with Amaya different than one with Magnifico?

Who taught Amaya magic?

They created wish magic, you say? Do they know that taking a wish robs people of their drive?

When did Amaya adopt Sabor?

Would Sabor ever warm up to Magnifico?

If the traitor isn’t who we think it is, then it’s probably not Simon. Can you give us any clues?

Sneak peak!

No Star before has ever changed into a human before? Why is Star the first?

How old is Star if he hasn’t got a name for himself yet?

Are you adding anyone new other than Flazino?

Bazeema x Safi, you say? Are you thinking of any other ships?

Will you be making a poster for Wish Granted?

How are you showing the songs in your rewrite?

Is anyone dying in your rewrite?

Would you consider this more of a rewrite or an AU? Like, could this be a Disney movie, or more of taking the concepts and turning it into your own thing?

Hope you enjoy!

OH MY GOD, THERE'S SO MANY QUESTIONS, SAPH! 😂 Let's get started!

Similar to Simon, he started to feel more lethargic as years went on, but he usually powered through it like Sabino. However, something else took his life, which lead to the rest of the family fleeing Rosas. That's a gonna,be a big reveal on what happens to him!

At first she was, but Sabino convinced her not become bitter, because it would set a bad example for Asha growing up. Unfortunately it happened anyway, but not because of an influence. So Sakina does the best she can for the family and Hamlet by making clothes for others that need it. Its the closest she can get to her dream.

Both yes and no. 😆 Asha does indeed have a wish and Magnifico does try to take it from Asha as a bargaining chip. However, he's gonna find out that he can't exactly do that. "wink wink"

If it meant her family would be safe, then she begrudgingly would. She would want to find a way to get her own wish back along with everyone else's and now be on a time limit because she could start feeling the symptoms at any given time.

Sakina originally did, but she regretted it after she found out what happened to her husband. She's glad that they ran away before Asha was old enough to give her's away.

Same for Sabino. He had the wish since was a boy and thought the king was finally going to grant it, only to find out years later he had no intention of doing so.

Valentino does have a separate design! He has a similar outfit and horns like the piece of concept art I used, but his face and fur color will be different. Canon!Valentino's face is unsettling...

Flazino's wish gets destroyed, along with a woman who's implied to also know about the Hamlet. Star ends up finding the wishes at one point, and he can feel their joy, hope and dreams. So once those two wishes were crushed, he felt the pain they felt. It reminded him of feeling so alone in space. That's when he fully understands Mags is a monster that must be stopped.

Not really. Its easier for me, lol. The most extra I'm doing is putting "A Wish Worth Making" near the end to close out the movie. And "Knowing What I Know Now" will be used after the traitor is revealed and that same traitor will end up joining the rebellion instead. There MAYBE a villain song added though! (Not TITTIG, I can't save that one)

They're all about nearly year apart from each other, since they looked different ages in the movie. So in order, Simon and Dhalia are 18, Dario and Hal are 17, Safi and Bazeema are 16, and Gabo is 15.

While Star's stand off with Mags is more about their power differences and how they few wishes/humans, Amaya knows how to get into Star's head. Amaya basically tells him he can't be human, ever. She's very good at using her words amps weapons when she doesn't have magic, so her other tactic is to convince Star even if he stays on Earth, he could never be good enough for Asha, always being viewed as something inhuman. (Think of that scene from Shrek 2 with the Fairy Godmother) It REALLY gets to him and starts to question himself of what he even is anymore.

Much like Magnifico, she was self taught! And by combing their magic, they grew in power!

Absolutely, that benefits them in fact. If the wisher loses drive, they lose motive to do anything else, including having any desire to stop them and their plans.

Back when the couple was traveling the world and before they reached Rosas. When they arrived in the country, Amaya found him alone in the forest as a cub and took him. He was a lost animal that needed to be raised and grow into a beautiful yet dangerous animal like he was meant to be.

.....A little bit, when Sabor is actually thanked for finding the true traitor and he gets to eat Mouse!Star, he does start to see he's not all bad.

You're right, its actually a different character, BUT I CAN'T GIVE SPOILERS! I want to, honestly cause its such a big part I'm excited to show! The hint is its another teen, so that leaves 6 other suspects. OR it could be somebody from the Hamlet! 😯

Here's one from Chapter 5:

18. No other star nomad has had a desire to visit Earth. They enjoy it as a tourist attraction and not much else. Star is the first one that we know of that has had the desire to actually GO to Earth. Him and his cousins, lol.

19. He turned 18 a month before the story starts, but he's never really decided on a name. There's just so Mich variety to choose from that he's indecisive.😂

20. Aside from giving the Rosas citizens and Hamlet people some personalities, the cast stays the same. That way it won't feel over crowded.

21. Possibly Flazino x Dhalia. Though it might end up being one-sided. It could change though! 😉

22. YES!!!! I WANT TO SO BADLY!! It will most likely be for when the story us half way through and with Chapter 5 still being written, we're only 1/3 in. But I already have ideas for one! 😁

23. I'll make a separate postings for them featuring the rewritten lyrics, instrumental backgrounds and possibly some art! 😉 Each song will help the story along, just like the first three did! The one I'm really trying hard to remake is "Knowing What I Know Now" cause it was the closest to sounding the best.

24. Now that's a secret! 🤐

25. A bit of both! Its basically how I would've written a Disney movie, so its leans towards more rewrite.

Wow, thanks so much for these MANY great questions, @wings-of-sapphire!! Sorry it took me so long, it was a lot to answer this time! I appreciate you writing these out though! 😁 (I'll tag your other channel just in case @signed-sapphire)