#but idk. i feel like a coward for not trying. i feel like im too clingy and dependent and small and soft and lazy.

[feline-evil]

Dethvanity is really funny to me conceptually as an episode because you can see how little they had to make the characters insecure about for the bit. They swing for obvious lowblow choices with Pickle' baldness and Nathan's weight and even those require some suspension of disbelief because ok. Sure. Nathan '(said extremely proudly) never skipped a meal in my life!' Explosion is insecure about being a big man now. Nathan *guy who everyone thinks is smoking hot 99% of the time* Explosion is a tiny bit larger than usual and is insecure about it now. Lol. Lmao even.

But anyway then we hit Skwisgaar and Toki and there's like NOTHING to swing for, you can see them going uhhh ok Skwis doesn't sleep he probably drinks a lot of coffee, and Toki? Shit, what does Toki have to be insecure about with his looks. He's perfect, he's adorable, he's ripped. Um. FUCK IT, HE'S DOING NOTHING BUT EATING LEMONS. WE GOT NOTHING, WE GOT NOTHING, JUST GIVE THE BOY CITRUS FRUITS.

WOE 🍋 BE UPON YE

I'm sure i could make some smarter points about the attempts at applying vanity in this ep and how outside of this and a few other moments i do actually like that the show rarely takes pot shots at things like Nathan's weight, but you see Nathan has shirtless scenes in this one and so my intelligence is impeded when all the blood rushes out of my head and into my-

[jammyshouse]

finally accepting i am a gay man rather than whatever i thought i was is explaining a lot about everything to the point it’s actually making me angry. like man. man i guess it was very fucking obvious to everyone except me huh

[katamarigender]

I don't feel 20

[chilipepperconverse]

god im so tired of this shit

[vitaminyoo]

Dating apps are so overWHELMING

[wings-of-fire-confessions]

So many people think Webs is the Good Guardian. That he's the Nice One. They say "oh he's not that bad" and claim he wasn't abusing the dragonets. I was litterally talking to my friends about him and they were like "He was only mean to Glory, and she dismisses it, so its fine, it didn't affect her. Plus he brought Starflight scrolls every now and then. Hes good, trust."

And im just left fumming bc. Idk if there's an english equivalent, but in my language theres a saying that goes "The lookout is as much of a thief as the robber" and I think that applies to abuse too. Webs was a coward who didn't stood up to Kestrel, so he just left this grown ass woman bully litteral children and gave them scrolls as a consolation prize. What the hell. Hes a spineless coward who doesn't have the strength to disagree with anyone, hes not nice.

And Webs just straight up lied to Tsunami about the bioluminescent stripes. This is a post I made but I cannot find it and link it for the life of me.

Telling her they were for mating display purposes just so that he wouldn't have to teach her Aquatic. Like. What was the point of that?? I forgot most about the books (havent read them in years) but that part stuck with me.

What was his plan? Embarrass her in front of the other seawings? That seems very counterproductive if you're trying to raise a prophecy dragonet that needs respect to be able to choose a queen and end the war.

Just being lazy? Bro??? How do you get lazy enough to lie about your own biology. If you really dont want to teach her just give her a scroll and tell her to figure it out. Maybe while you're gathering scrolls for Starflight you can get something for the other seawing you've been in contact with for the last 7 years.

And now Webs is teaching at JMA. I dont know about you, but if it were me, I wouldn't trust him anymore. Much less to teach dragonets.

I went to go find confirmation in the books, and here it is, beginning of Chapter 8 in book one:

< “All right fine!” She [Tsunami] said with a grimace. “Glowing in the dark — Webs says it’s to attract other SeaWings. That’s how we choose our partners, or whatever.” She shoved his [Clay] head under water again, and he came up sputtering. “Now aren’t you sorry you asked?”

He was, a little bit. The idea of Tsunami leaving them for another SeaWing with cool glowing scales made Clay feel extra-blooby and drab. >

I told this to my friends and their answers? "Tsunami might have misinterpreted his answer." WHAT. How do you misinterpret "this is to speak a language" and "this is a for mating displays".

Bottom line: Webs was just as awful as the other guardians, but people tend to dismiss it because "he brought them scrolls from time to time :)"

.

[letsmyy]

i have a request!!! you should write a daughter of apollo x leo valdez fic but based on espresso by sabrina carpenter (idk i feel like that song gives children of apollo vibes!) it'd be leo obsessed with the apollo girl (like him being absolutely obsessed with her, having the biggest crush on her possible, he constantly thinks about her, him being an absolute loser bf) and finally getting the courage to ask her out on a date or something like that.

“she’s like a shot of espresso…”

leo valdez x duaghter of apollo!reader

warnings: use of yn! english isn’t my first language so it might be some errors!!

thank you so much for your request, it made me so happy!! idk if what i wrote it’s exactly what you want but i hope you like it 🤕 this is my first timing writing a real fic and I think it really shows lol, but i promise I’ll try to improve in the next one, I’m so sorry if it’s that bad, and this is really short too? omg im really bad at this lol, but anyways, ly anon tell me your opinions (honestly) abt this later, kisses to uuu!! 🫶💗 (btw anon, please request other things I feel like I didn’t did you justice with this one)

words: 850

“is it that sweet? I guess so…..”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ - ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Leo was sure he was going crazy.

He always had a pretty big amount of silly crushes on girls, but with you? It was getting way too serious. Of course, you're beautiful, incredibly kind, and too generous for your own good, and you treated him well, but that isn't enough reason to make him lose sleep; at least that's what he thought.

And he was extremely wrong. Being in your presence was the equivalent of being bathed in the sunlight, and gods, he felt like a prisoner who hadn't seen the sun in years.

He's completely obsessed with you; he just needs the courage to verbalize that, but being honest, Leo felt like a coward at the moment.

While being lost in his thoughts (the thoughts being the pretty daughter of Apollo that never leaves his mind), the boy finally falls asleep.

Leo doesn't mind waking up if that means spending the day with the people he loves, so after getting ready for the day, he searches for you.

And he found you, talking with a much younger camper, helping him. You're smiling like it's the best day of your life, and Leo could swear that you're almost glowing.

The boy makes its way to you the same moment you finish talking to the kid, now having your full attention on Hephaestus' son.

"Leo! Good morning!" Your voice to him had the same effect as listening to his favorite music, it made him happy in ways he couldn't explain, even if his life depended on it. 

"Yn! Good morning!" He mimics you, not in a bad way, just a teasing one. You roll your eyes in fake annoyance.

"Sooo, did you sleep well, Valdez?" You ask, seeming really interested in the answer, but he knows that you're like that for everything, being extremely kind.

"Not really, would be better if I dreamed about you," you laugh amusingly.

"You say that every day, y'know?"

"I know, I say because it's true. " You can't help but blush a little. You're used to Leo flirting with you, but it never gets past that, so you just learned to joke back.

"Hilarious, Valdez... fortunately, I slept very well today, and I'm more excited than normal! I think it's because it's so sunny today, that's awesome, was thinking about going to the lake later. I can't waste such a pretty day like this one painting inside my cabin..."

"Unfortunately, I'll be in the bunker today, I have lots of things to do."

"What? No! You're coming with me, you can't waste this wonderful day either!" You grab his hands, walking toward the lake.

Leo could swear he would pass out at that moment. He couldn't even think about denying your offer, he would prefer dying to doing that.

After a few seconds, you guys get to the lake.

"Look how pretty it is! You have to go swimming with me, it’s a need.”

"Look, sunshine, water and fire don't get along so well, so I might skip that one" he says, apologetic. You frown, thinking.

"We don't need to go swimming, we can just talk, i really don't care." You smile lovingly at him.

"I don't want to ruin your day! There are many people that can go with you, you'll find someone better to do that." He's so oblivious that it's getting concerning.

"I want to spend time with you, Valdez. I don't mind if it's swimming or just talking, I want to, you know..be with you."

"Oh." He's acting like a loser, he can't think straight anymore and is blushing like crazy, but who cares?

"Oh?" You tease him, smiling.

"Yeah, we can. Just talk, I'm happy with that. " His smile was so genuine that made your heart melt.

That's when you realize you're still holding his hand, and you don't want to change that. You can feel he notices too.

Something just snapped in his head, now it’s the time, now or never, right?

"Yn? Can I tell you something?" He says it in a quiet tone, and you just nod.

"When I'm around you, it's like constantly drinking a shot of espresso, it's like being bathed in sunlight, you're incredibly energetic and enthusiastic, and i just can't get enough of you, you're my sunrise and daylight....all I'm saying is, gods, I very much love you more than just friends" You're surprised, really surprised, so surprised that you can't even speak for a moment, which just makes Leo even more nervous.

"Please say something...like, anything, a no it's better than silence because it’s less-“ Before he yaps again, you interrupt him:

"I like you too." The boy almost squeals of pure excitement.

"Seriously? Oh gods, oh gods. What?" He's so happy, it's so sincere, so soft, it's amazing, you can feel your heart beating so fast, and you don't even care; seeing him like this because of you is the best feeling you ever felt.

Then you see that one look, meant just for you, it's like time has frozen, and you're both thinking the same thing. Then, like all the stars aligned, you kissed him

[attyrocious]

cross posting yesterday's rambling thread for posterity and because tumblr lets me edit things. anyway this is a sorta long thing and i might add things i forgot to mention in the twt thread

i tend to draw on-model canon because im a coward + just personal preferences. but the way i convert the canon designs into my artstyle is that i take the distinct features oda gives them and then combine it with personal headcanons to complete what should look like a unique human. Starting with Trafalgar Law, who is unfortunately a bland-ass conventionally pretty boy

someone commented a while ago the law hat drawing tutorial i made a while ago didn't make much sense and i realize its bc of the specific way i draw law's face: heart shaped (ba-dum-tss). That meaning, a narrow chin widening into a mild defined jaw, wide cheekbones, and up to his know-it-all brain dome.

given that, the pudgy guitar pick shape of his head i mentioned here should make a lot more sense.

i don't think this design point is unique to me, as most conventional pretty anime boy gets given jaws like this. a lot of law artists tend to veer into this head shape. just how life be sometimes. other points: flat, thick eyebrows is bc im a hairy gal and i need to feel better about myself.

Killer gets to be more interesting, because he shouldn't be considered conventionally attractive. my idea behind killer's is that those individual features is smth he would be insecure with enough to hide himself in a helmet but i draw him with all the love in the world actually. i'd like to think its how kid sees him or yknow, law, bc he's my kin assigned blorbo and maybe you ship lawkill as a guilty pleasure too i mentioned before (and ruined people's days) when i said whenever i draw killer he looks like griffith before i put on his goatee. the upper half of his face is distinctly feminine, with the lower half kinda over compensating. other than that uhh...idk. stan killer

Kidd is the bane of my existence, i feel like i can never draw his face consistently. yet at the same time he's so damn fun to draw everyone gotta try it.

my problem with kidd is that this mf does have eyelids. most kidd painters out there interpret this as him having deep set eyes (think Matt Smith or jeffrey star) . and yeh skill issue on me i should practice that. other notes, i try to make him younger than canon makes him look. he is my babygirl and he deserves to look cuddly. my band au kidd version has the honor of being allowed some chubs. he's just tries to look older and more menacing with edgy makeup. also i try to give him dimples when i can because, well i can.

Rosinante last bc i lost steam after kidd. the thing abt cora is that aside from not having eyebrows, everything is structured with the generic one piece man template. which means i gotta do everything myself doffy is there bc the way to figure out how to draw these two is to give them minor differences from each other, that being doffy gets slightly sharper features. in canon, these two are also rly wide boys (more of an oda style feat tbh) but i make them long. though bigger brained donquixote artists know that of these two brothers, doffy should be the wiry-er built. anyway that's it. in conclusion, i need to draw more girls actually i feel like im becoming misogynistic by osmosis from oda's style and now i draw girls all looking the same too.

[daftmooncretin]

rip to rian johnson but star wars sequels would be way better if ben solo was just kinda cowardly and han solo coded so he defected from the jedi and went to be a fun swashbuckling anarchist space cowboy instead

and finn and poe have to find him and try to convince him to come back to the rebellion but hes afraid who he is and what he could become

also instead of luke trying to kill his nephew for NO REASON (so insanely out of character it boils my blood) he just realises after ben dips thats hes not cut out for teaching. and is living on a mandalorian colony as rebellion liason/ambassador with chewie and sometimes lando i guess (din djarin is there) he aids the rebellion (because of course he would fuck that plotline) but he wont stay on the rebel base because he doesnt like all the chosen one clout and mandalorians are very chill and mind their own business

han and leia are still together and play active parts in the rebellion because fuck that plotline too although they do disagree about the ben situation (leia is annoyed and han is understanding) poe and ben childhood friends and for what.

in this au, rey is raised in the empire and is a sith lord but she has doubts and isnt as abjectly disgusting as kylo ren because of course not. (appears slightly too interested in the rebellion when poe is captured and maybe??? possibly lets finn and poe escape but thats up for debate.) rey gets more evil over course of movies before turning to light for plot drama and a satisfying zuko arc.

force awakens timeline

prophecy that a new jedi will rise and take down the dark side. rey and sith lord (dk who but fuck snoke im writing him out) assume it is the missing ben solo (its finn and rey tho fr) and are intent on finding him. movie opens on rey being evil probably and capturing poe. also finn as a character actully needs no real changes hes great. and then next scene space pirate ben solo doing his thing (but without identity revealed so we dont know who he is yet he may go by kylo because funny)

instead of luke poe has a lead on missing almost-jedi before he dipped ben solo and is searching for him on leias orders.(rebellion also believe the prophecy is about him. but nuh uh) torture scene and escape scene doesnt need to change but show reys nuances and how lost she is.

in the interest of narrative poe and finn still crash on tatooine but finn manages to pull poe out of the crash. (finn still gets the jacket at some point because i say so) poe is too injured to fly so they seek out help and and meet ben solo who saves them from pirates or something idk. (but neither know who the other is)

finn and poe convince ben solo to be their pilot still thinking hes a random smuggler named kylo. they get along very well, especially finn and ben. rey by this point is tracking their whereabouts

they end up on that lightsaber planet and ben gets the weird darth vader nightmare and freaks out, (hes afraid of being evil or something idk) poe is getting suspicious now also finn feels the force and takes up the lightsaber. rey comes and finn trys to hold her off. finn get hurt and drops lightsaber. ben is forced to take it up and his identity is revealed as rebel reeforcements led by han and leia arrive and they see him fighting. rey and ben have a weird charged moment (yes i guess i am still making reylo a thing but its reyben now and its woke so shh) and in a dramatic desperate effort he manages to knock her lightsaber away with the force. poe crawls into a plane at somepoint and blows up reys ship. the rebels destroy the stormtroopers but rey captures finn and escapes in a stolen ship.

ben has a oh-shit-i-said-id-never-use-the-force-again related existential crisis which makes him freak out and leaves. a distraught finn-less poe calls him a coward. poe picks up the discarded lightsaber and the jackettm and sadly packs them up. leia tells him about the starkiller and poe volunteers to go on the starkiller and save finn. han and leia have a sweet moment and han decides to go with poe on the suicide mission, chewie goes too.(chewie arrived at somepoint i guess)

mid hostage situation finn blocks reys force attempt and shes shook up. he sees something in her (finn is a beautiful sweetheart) and he trys to appeal to her. she force chokes him and books it out of there. but it is clear she fears him a little. he escapes with mind tricks and runs into han poe and chewie on the deck. finnpoe moment fr. poe gives him his jacket back in order to get the keep it it looks good on you line.

meanwhile ben is back on his ship(i guess its the falcon?) and he thinks about finn and his mom and luke or something.. a dream maybe?? idk something emotional and motivational for his arc. and he goes to a box under the floor in his ship and pulls out a green lightsaber. he turns the ship around.

on the ship poe finn han and chewie are planting the bombs and escaping when they get stopped by stormtroopers ordered by rey. poe is about to be shot by a big droid thing when it is cut in half by ben wow big reveal hes here oooo ah. rey is shot in the shoulder by chewie and angrily orders more stormtroopers. they cant take them all. han sacrifices himself by blowing up the bridge. he tells finn and poe to find luke in the mandolorian colony ben is distraught him and han have an emotional goodbye he tells him to tell leia he’s sorry and that he loves him and he proud of him then he makes chewy get ben out of there and he blows himself up. leia senses it v sad rip man but he had to die to intensify plot drama

rey chases them onto the ice planet and another weird charged moment. mind link established??? this time ben is too angry and grieving though so its not a good match and she wounds him real bad all over hes v scarred now. poe shoots at rey and throws lightsaber at finn. he gets ben onto the ship and finn and rey have the big force awakens show down. finn uses the force v powerful all that jazz the good guys get away. on the ship finn mentions how he felt a connection with rey to poe and claims he sees good in her

movie ends with meeting luke on mandolore. ben is very traumatised wont really speak to finn or poe and avoiding luke. finn returns lukes lightsaber and rey has doubts movie over. movies ends with ominous rey ben mind link

final notes (on first movie and overarching rewrite plans)

finn

finn is the protagonist of this movie so it would be much more character heavy on him them the original. more in depth on his stormtrooper trauma, how he always chooses the people he loves over the cause and his reluctance to join the rebellion. his friendship with poe and the han/leia parallel’s especially. relationships with han and ben important for his character exposition and he plays a key role in supporting both rey and bens character progression. possesses the strong sense of mercy and kindness at the heart of the star wars franchise.

rey

rey is raised in the first empire and does not know anything different. when she meets finn who was able to rebel and escape from the same system she is trapped in she becomes plagued by doubts and projects all of her hatred and resentment onto finn to compensate, but it is clear she fears him. to escape from her doubts she fixates on finding and capturing ben solo imagining him to be a frightening and terrible adversary. however when she meets him they see eachothers minds, and she sees how plagued by doubt and fear he is, how he runs from everything and he sees her too. they connect and develop a strange mutual fascination/understanding. this is put askew by finns appearance at the end of the movie in defence of ben. reys fear of finn increases when she sees the true extent of his power. she fears and hates equally finns strength of character and easy goodness and by extension hates ben for his alliance with finn. she blames finn for “taking” ben from her.

ben solo

kylo ren is a disgusting blight on the star wars names so ben solo is being completely reclaimed by me into a different character because i fucking hate that stupid pretentious eboy. instead ben solo is an incredibly han solo coded character with a heart of gold and deep love and loyalty to his friends and family. his main weakness as a character in this rewrite is his fear and lack of self belief. ben is terrified of being a jedi and of his own power. he fears his own nature and was so afraid he would become his grandfather that he ran from the jedi altogether. ben solo is a runner that wont face his problems, he runs from the jedi and from his parents to avoid failing or becoming something terrible. finn and ben recognise the need to run in eachother (although important distinction finn runs because he doesn’t want to fight for a cause. and ben runs because hes afraid he will be the reason the cause fails) and ultimately encourage eachother to break the cycle and stand their ground (well finn motivated ben in this movie, finns not fixed yet.) Bens arc in these movies is about learning to live with his own nature and fighting for what he believes in despite his fear. also dealing with mommy issues (ben is kind of jealous of poe and leias relationship the son she wanted or something blah blah blah etc) and being a malewife to his murder girlfriend. his job is kind of to support and fight with finn and later rey and help them save the world

finnpoe (will be a gay couple)

their friendship will be front and centre in these movies because they represent duty vs personal loyalty. poe puts the cause above all else and values his own life and personal relationships little. finn on the other hand is disillusioned with establishment cause of stormtrooper trauma and wants to protect himself and others from it. poe is the first person that finn truly bonds with and loves. he puts poe above everything, including being a jedi and the rebellion. this leads to a lot of fighting and discord between finn and poe as finn doesn’t understand how important the rebellion is to poe and poe doesnt get why finn is trying to protect him from it. ultimately though poe teaches finn faith and belief and finn teaches poe to accept love and value himself. (also many hanleia parallels) the two of them are the harbingers of a new age. poe as future leader of the new republic and finn as the jedi messiah or whatever. in terms of romance, im thinking slowburn. baity first movie, kiss at the end of the second and established relationship by the halfway mark of the third.

also when rey eventually joins the light in the beginning she refuses to talk to ben (cause of romantic drama i havent thought of yet but centres around some sort or betrayal in the second movie) or finn (because hes her narrative foil and slow burn best friend forever) so her first friend is poe and she kind of follows him around in her first few months before she eventually bonds with finn 4eva. her poe shadowing has lots of cute friend moments where they fly together and he tries to talk her down about finn and the ben drama but also more importantly it foreshadows her leadership ability and tactical mind as she gives him advice and aids him with the rebellion behind the scenes (also leads to leia taking rey under her wing probably because poe is her surrogate son and mirror) which will eventually lead to her and poe leading the republic together because in my mind rey is a jedi but actively a member of republic government because ben can’t do politics and finn won’t but shes great at it so she’d be a perfect jedi liason and vice president to poe. meanwhile finn and ben lead the jedi. finn as a knight travelling across the galaxy and ben as a teacher. (luke is happy in retirement rn on mandalore but leia is still probably an advisor in the republic because retirement is definitely not for her) and everyone is happy the end. force ghost han solo is clapping.

[cookiecomics]

Anonymous Coward asked: sometimes it’s not even just whiteness (referring to a tweet of yours) but just like how pervasive every part of it can be. ignorance of culture, policing and harassment of others, assumptions about what everyone else’ experience should be. Like sometimes it isn’t even visible but you can just… tell???? how much a space is affected by whiteness as a concept (idk if im making sense. anyways)

No, you get it lol. It isn't something you can see if you're not outside of that bubble, but you can feel it and at times it's very unbearable. White people a lot of the times do not notice how white a space is and how it trickles down to accepted idea, accepted faces, perceived kindness and grace. But I also cannot understate how people don’t find it odd how hard it is to find black folks in the same fandom spaces as everyone despite us being huge nerds just like everyone else and folks don’t think about why that is you know? They don’t see a server and ask if it’s safe for black folks, they don’t wonder these things because they feel comfortable and that’s what matters. Honestly, being in fandom feels like that time I went to a karaoke party and I was the only black person there and everyone was playing songs I had never heard in my life.

 I couldn’t relate, I couldn’t engage, I had to smile the whole time because I need to be having fun right? Even when given the power to pick a song, to play a song I know that no one else can relate to would kill the vibe. There’s always this element of ‘you compromise not us’. At that same party a song with slurs was put on and there were yt folks singing at the top of their lungs. The other half were not or skipping the slurs when they show up and they thought that was enough. They thought not being racist themselves was enough. No one asked how I was doing because I have to be fine lmao. Anyways, that’s what it’s like to be in fandom where you can hardly find people that look like you or understand you experiences while everyone else is having fun. I’ve been sitting here wishing I could talk about specifics (I do have them) but unfortunately, I do not think that’s a good idea and the last thing I want is negative attention rn, so I’ll try to be as vague as possible. 

Plus people would hella disagree with me lmao. The safest example I can talk about isn’t even p5 specific, but I spoke about this with a friend on why Geto isn’t one of my favourite characters or more broadly why I don’t ship satosugu. I like Geto just fine mind you! I think he’s cool. And I think Satosugu is a great ship. However. I invite you whoever is reading this to imagine why I, a black person, may not exactly jive with a character whose favourite insult and dehumanizing phrasing is to call people he sees as beneath him as a monkey. I’ve never even touched satosugu fic lmfao because dear lord, I couldn’t in the manga and I wouldn’t willingly subject myself to that. 

Not saying it happens, but to be in character, I imagine it would lmao. And the same goes for Morgana! I saw a tweet the other day like “I don’t trust people who don’t like Morgana.” And I see this tweet like twice a week, (different people mind u) And every time I’m like, I simply did not enjoy Morgana calling Ryuji a monkey. It made me uncomfortable, (it’s not gonna make every black person uncomfortable but I know Plum was at least taken back by it) but to open up that discussion would make me look aggressive wouldn’t it? ESPECIALLY again, Ryuji is very black coded but I’m not touching that topic with a ten foot pole. People don’t really think too hard outside of their experiences and it’s alienating. Not to mention when I brought up a conversation about experiencing micro aggressions the overall response despite having a larger account at the time was silence and disappointment, by people I thought I was closer with than that too. 

It was a wake up call and I haven’t been able to feel right in the fandom since. Absolutely nothing would happen or something minor would happen (like Hazbin releasing a fucking Slurs shirt which thanks Viz. And this is coming from someone who laughed at the joke in the show because it was *just* the show) and it would dredge all this pain up all over again. Anyways, that’s my ramble, it sucks fandom is like this but I don’t see that ever changing because as I told Plum, bringing up race in their spaces is something yt folks do not like to do so

(https://retrospring.net/@CookieComics/a/112944476253264310)

[j2zara]

j3j4 time!!!!! director's commentary for the part starting with "He says it again" and ending with "there really is something thrilling about being chased, isn’t there?"

Oh my god i asked for this, didn't I? I'm gonna interrogate my deeply horny art. Sorry I put this off for so long but again i got a little embarrassed trying to analyze my own smut and needed to take a break. This is gonna get long winded. Please bear with me.

He says it again. His voice shaky. “Punish me.” A beat. “And why would I do that?” she asks, feigning naivety. “When you’re being so good for me.”

This is gonna sound funny but. I do think there is something to like. J4 actually being kinda bad at the reward/punishment framework of like a Scene b/c she's just ultimately too soft for J3. But to be fair, she is getting something she wants in this situation. He is articulating at least something about his wants to her.

And I've joked before that LJ3 is a little jaceporter coded in that there is a slightly less hostile version but still an undercurrent of "The only time you liked yourself is when you were trying to be someone this cunt might like". And in this moment (well, just prior) he's laughing, he's happy. She likes making J3 feel good, likes herself when she's doing it. She sees herself as too ugly on the inside otherwise, too unloveable and cruel and miserable. She wants to be a person, but she feels like she's getting how to be a person wrong, unless she's with him (and its her god given right to fuck up being a person, she knows this, but part of being a person is the hope that you're doing something of meaning and this? weirdly. Is the only time she feels like she's doing something of meaning)

Anyway. There's this weird dance the two of them are doing of J3 like refusing to articulate what he wants or only doing it in half truths and J4 trying to get him to speak and giving him what he wants but only to a certain extent also those wants conflict anyway. He wants a reward. He wants punishment. he wants EVERYTHING. Is J4 refusing to give him what he wants (punishment) part of their delayed gratification game? Or is it more important to satiate the initial expression of want from earlier (touch me). And obviously, she's doing it with the mage hand so. She's giving him what he wants but there's still that element of denial. That is part of the delayed gratification game, part of the punishment, but also part of her real and genuine boundaries. Her feelings are hurt in this moment, so maybe she's not ready to touch him just yet.

she has to bite back a pathetic moan of her own [...] because he moans her name so loudly, and it makes it sound real, she sounds real, like it’s something of meaning and not just a number—she’s been fighting to be real her whole life and he just willed it into existence, just like that.

Funny b/c i just made a post abt the Eurydice vibes i felt writing this scene. Anyway I know i was a total coward and didn't commit to the Electra-Ellie-El name for J4 in this bc. As much as I personally like it (and its an @neerdowellnarrator Esme Special so thank them) and use it interchangeably i'm always scared abt adding new shit to the lore... Mainly bc idk. I feel like I don't want my decisions to carry that much weight but im also terrified of my choices being rejected. I was so scared abt that with Bluejay as well. But like it seems like everyone has really taken to it so tbh i feel less weird abt it now. Thank u Esme, go pay ur respects to them.

That being said. The other reason i wanted to hold back i guess is. I really liked the idea of J3 imbuing the name "J4" with meaning even though it's just a number just because he wants her so much, he reveres her that much. The name J4 is not inherently meaninful but he imbues it with meaning. And like. Doubly so because that's not even her hand, its through use of a tool.

And there's something so... Unfair I guess. I loved the unfairness of it. Of someone else being the one to give J4 meaning. And it being so easy. Like. She wants to feel real. But she's fought so hard to be the person who determines her own life. She strives for personhood. And J3 doesn't have to fight. He just says it and she just feels real. And that's so unfair. She wanted to be the one to do that. But she'll take it. It's why she moans too. She wants it. She's used to being difficult to love. It feels so good in this moment to be wanted, special, loved—especially for being who she is, and not as an extension of anybody.

There's also the idea of like. The follower having power over the god. Putting a name to it. So that it is Borne into existence. Belief as a form of power.

And being in his head—no wonder he is the way he is, she pities him, the incessant loneliness is abated as he’s filled, as she pushes in deeper, all the other swimming thoughts are vanished completely, he simply wants someone to touch him, wants her to touch him, wants that hand to be hers so badly, in his head she’s right there with him—

There's so much like. J3 being like Jace, being like J2, wanting to amalgamate into one perfect being energy here to me. In the like. Being filled in a sexual way but also like also the. spiritual way i guess? I think thats the one thing that i can't picture J4 wanting that the the others secretly or not so secretly desire. Like. On some level they want someone, porter especially, to take over and like. ALmost live their life for them. Or Be with them always. They want that level of closeness and intimacy, and they maybe even want to abdicate their own responsibility. And. As exhausted as J4 is i do think she understands the appeal in that but she still would resist.

There's also J3 and his like. Use of touch and sex to like. Shortcut intimacy while also being terrified of vulnerability. As like. Connective tissue with Biggest Lie, J3 is always telling himself he doesn't need intimacy, he's better without it while also craving it so badly. And then being afraid to ask for it. So like. He wants to be touched, he wants to bridge a gap, he is so lonely and ignored all the time.

And this is part of a recurring thing of like. It's hard for J4 to tell if he wants her or wants someone. Most of the time, when we get in j3's head, there is a little bit of both and so im always leaving it ambiguous. However, I said this before, obviously ppl are free to read it as they like, but i do belief J4's self hatred makes her a bit of an unreliable narrator. Yes, there are thoughts of broad loneliness in j3's head, of wanting someone not just her, but as much as wanting someone vs. wanting her are both thoughts in j3's head, it usually ends up coming back to her. He wants intimacy, not just with anyone, but with J4. it's why he's always picturing her in his head when all he's getting is the mage hand.

She’s still slow, still teasing, she’s enjoying making him come undone and all without touching him, getting right into the rhythm she knows can make him keen like fucking animal, and then he does—it’s not quite the same, but she’s getting the hang of it, and he really needs to get out of her head, because she wants it, too. She wants it to be her. She wants to give him everything.

I think the like. J3 and J4 understanding each other really well thing is very present here. I call it Homophrosyne which was coined to refer to Penelope and Odysseus, when two people think alike. Like. There's the irony of J4 saying J3 should get out of her head when she's the one reading his mind. And her also craving intimacy with him.

I also think this is an LJ3 + Jaceporter parallel. J3 and Porter as people who are ravenous, they want everything. J4 and Jace as the person they truly want most of all yet are always looking past. You are all I want. You will never be enough. And that's where J4's doubt always comes in. How could she truly satiate someone who wants everything?

But the reversal could also be true. We could see J4 as Luxury Sex Object Prison Coded Porter. As a god who wants to bestow all the best onto her favorite worshipper. So he never has to want for anything else every again. (maybe in a way that is selfish on the part of the god. That way, they can truly monopolize the mind of their saint. Be the only thing they will ever need)

Like what you see? he asks, mouth slightly agape as he makes eye contact with her—the intensity of it knocking the wind out of her. Somehow even when he submits, the pull he has on her, it’s unreal. Not a message. A thought. “Yes…” she breathes before she can help herself. Dawning horror, and then, “Do—Do you want me out of your head? “Nah. I like being double-penetrated.” [...]“You are such a freak,” says J4, but she can brave running her nails along the underside of his thigh. He notices, too, gasps.

Again this is like. Calling attention to the IYWD thing of like. The relationship between god and follower being a two way street. The follower has power over the god just like the god has power over the follower. The person submitting having power over the one in control. Which is very like. J4 kryptonite. She wants to have control over her own life, and when she's with J3 she feels weak, not in control, like his mere existence has power over her.

Again, I think there's like. More homophrosyne, or J3 understanding J4. In that he knew that J4 was using detect thoughts on him the whole time. And J4's reaction being. Like. She truly does believe in personal autonomy, so she does feel terrible and guilty about this violation that she was willing to commit. (A violation that is. To take. To invade. Something she is afraid aligns herself with porter, with everything she hates)

And. Ok. I do think the DP joke is funny. Like. I will give myself that. I'm silly but i do think it's clever. This does kinda go in line with my like. I love when J3 is filthy but in my mind he's also the funniest clone and this kinda goes with that. But also, he's not lying. J3 seeks out everything. He is into everything. He wants it all before he goes. And as much as he gets off on being told he's gross and disgusting and he can make jokes about it, a part of him is truly worried those desires are too dark, too unpalatable, they make him too unlovable. J4 does affirm he is a freak as lot, like, half joking, but to me that's not condemnation. It's like. instead of being like "oh no don't worry you're so normal <3" it's like. I love you amidst all your flaws. Because of them. You don't need to be perfect. You are a perverse, but there is nothing wrong with being perverse.

“Would it make you smug if I said you do this better than He does?” “Maybe a little.”  The best part? She knows he means it, too. She'll do anything for him after this.

Listen. I love when LJ3 is good for each other but i love when they're a little bit fucked up. Like. The ambiguity of whether they can escape the narrative!!! They should be able to exist on their own terms!!! They willed this, they chose this, they want each other intentionally, but also. This is such a tie-in to Biggest Lie as well. Because in that, J3 gets off on the idea that Porter thinks he's better than Jace. And here, J4 gets off on the idea that she's better than Porter. Like. It always has to come back to invoking jaceporter. They get off on the idea of transcending their creators, but is that true escape? For them to always be tethered to Jaceporter?

There's also this like. Thing about. Porter wanting to be the center of Jace's world. Remaking jace in his image. Wanting to be Jace's one and only. And is this instinct, this desire for J4, to dominate J3's mind, monopolize it, be the only one for him. Is it Of Porter?

Gonna skip some of the stuff that's just plainly horny that i don't have much commentary on... I will say, her kissing the corner of his mouth and finally getting him off is like. AFTER the "Being better than Porter" confession which is so funny like it takes that for them to broach the intimacy. For her to fulfill her desire and give him what he wants. And like. Nice? Or fucked up? who is to say.

“Come on then,” says J4, flashing him a wink over her shoulder before turning away again. She beckons him forward with the Mage Hand as a final act before it is dispelled. Once in the bedroom, she lays herself upon her master’s comforter, her legs spread. Waiting. The creak of the door being pushed open tells her that J3 is quick to follow her, and J4 smiles to herself. Then he’s on the bed, and the sight of him on his knees, crawling toward her makes her heart skip a beat. She likes to think of herself as the kind of person who takes action, but there really is something thrilling about being chased, isn’t there?

I do like J4 reclaiming a bit of her power here. Like I know she's femdomming for a lot of this but i feel like in her mind she very much perceives herself to be on the backfoot. The wink feels like a moment where she is truly confident.

But also! The willing reversal! J4 usually being the one to act, to take control, and that's seen as an act of power in most ways, but also, it's to perform labor for someone else. The person who commands the attention, who doesn't even have to lift a finger. Do they not have power in their way? And J4 is exhausted. And she wants to be the one to will her own destiny. But that means she's always the one doing the work. Like she has to fight to have her personhood even recognized. And maybe. A part of her wants to be loved simply for who she is.

And so. In this, she wants to be pursued! Especially after so long feeling like a second choice, feeling abandoned when J3 left her for Porter. She's used to him running, returning. Very Orphydice / Persephades. Very Eurydice joining Hades in the underworld.

("Whatever happened. I'm to blame" / "no!" / "You called my name" / "You came!")

She gets to be the god, the one who is worshipped instead of the worshipper. Instead of the sacrifice. (Mr. Hades is a mighty king... seems like he owns everything / kinda makes you wonder how it feels).

On a personal note. I want that for her so bad. She deserves it. She deserves to be pursued. Loved for who she is. But also. J4 wants to be her own person so badly. And yet isn't the desire to be pursued, to be chased? Isn't that so unabashedly Of Jace? Here they are, defying the narrative. Carving out their own future. But are they? Have they transcended the Starbreaker Pantheon? Or are they doomed to repeat the cycle? Are they going to make it?

("Do you trust each other? Do you trust yourselves?" / "We do" / "well listen, brother / if you wanna walk out of hell / you're gonna have to prove it before gods and men / can you do that?" / "We can" / "a'ight! Time to go" / "Mr. Hermes?" / "Yes?" / "Its not at trick?" / "No. / It's a test")

("Do you trust each other? Do you trust yourselves?" / "We do")

[michixoxo]

hello i just wanted to request a one-shot! i love your writing haha

anyways could you write a oneshot based on the reader (female) (who’s dating arlo-secretly or publicly idk) having to fight john during the joker arc and arlo gets involved and the aftermath of the fight? like if the reader is hospitalised! kind of like when joker and remi fought. thanks sm if you can!

ofc! thank you anon, im just glad i have people to write for <3

word count: 1.1K

a fucking jungle. that's the only way you can describe this hell hole. as if high school wasn't bad enough, with joker running around, it's become an anxious mess of trembling cowards and fools. though, as much as you'd like to blame the rest of the student body for how things are going down, you can't shake the feeling like you're all to blame. too self-absorbed, too violent, too cruel, to notice nor care about those below us. with a strained laugh, you figure you're the same. too vain.

but instead of degrading yourself any longer, you walk down the empty hallway, wondering whether it'd be better to text arlo for his location than search for him. though, whenever you both would plan to meet up, it would always catch some prying eyes, ruining the whole secret relationship part of your secret relationship. you reach for your phone in your back pocket, still looking forward. he's been really stressed lately, for good reason, maybe you should take him out for dinn—? huh? that's weird. you don't feel your phone in your pocket. you hum as you turn your neck back and—

—collide with someone's white-knuckled fist. you barely have time to process whats going on as you fall down, red already beginning to drip down and out of your nose onto the pristine white floor. who the hell?! who would dare—?! a knee connects with your head, forbidding any coherent thoughts.

"you're boyfriend's fucking useless, and so are you.", you're not you when you're hungry, and you can't help but think, as you look at that infamous ski mask through blood laced eyes, that mister joker could really benefit from a snickers. you power up, the glow in your eyes as dim and pessimistic as your chances in this fight. yet, you stand, though the reddened ground almost seems to drag you with it. you stand, though you wish to sleep and never wake again. you stand, because a certain blond doesn't like cowards and damn it all to hell if you aren't gonna try for him.

despite this, a pig's resolve is never thought of by the farmer. try as you might, but as you hear the crack of your spine under his foot, you realize there's not a world in which a mere spade could trump this joker. you fall, face first on the ground. you watch, as the black of his shoes comes into view. surly, he won't kick you while you're— fuck! okay, maybe he will. and he does so multiple times to where it's almost funny. you make a cruel beat with the rhythm of his kicks and the sound of your groans. a symphony never realized, for a forceful punch knocks joker off his beat.

"HAVE YOU NOT HAD ENOUGH?!", you barely open your eyes, blood soaked, making it hard to see. though, you'd recognize that pristine blond hair anywhere. "SHE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO YOU! HOW VIOLENT— HOW CRUEL ARE YOU?!", the source of all our problems: violence, cruelty. but, he's right, you didn't do anything. didn't do anything when you saw the lower tiers brought to their knees. didn't do anything when you saw the manic grins of the higher tiers, getting off from their pain. you held no hand in it, but maybe to joker, your eyes hold the same guilt.

judge, jury, and executioner, he lands a solid punch to arlo's face. not like it did much, his skin feels closer to stone than flesh. still, the slightly muffled, impossibly vengeful voice reaches your ears, "you didn't stop sera from being kidnapped, but you have the balls to prevent your fucking whore from getting what she deserves? your priorities seem to be fucked up, your majesty." you try to laugh, but only blood sputters out. darkness overtakes you, violent and cruel.

...

"its all my fault.", you never took arlo as the self depricating kind, but you can understand the sentiment as you lie in hospital gowns and wheeze with every breath. "no, it's not, he was gonna go after me anyways. the whole destroy the hierarchy thing he's going on about and all...fuck, how could we not know there was someone this strong in Wellston?", you cough, "and apparently bloodthirsty."

you raise an eyebrow as he looks away, a certain expression gracing his face, one you've never seen. it almost looks like... shame? no, no, arlo? ashamed? did joker give you brain damage or something-? no way. no. way.

"you good?", his attention returns back to you. he holds your gaze before smiling, soft and delicate. an expression you've seen many times before, one reserved only for you. "i should be asking you, you're in the hospital bed after all.", "meh, i'll walk it off." you both allow yourself to giggle, basking in each other's company.

he holds your hand, resting his forehead ever so gently on the back. "i'm sorry. i'm really, really sorry." you grimace, it's not his fault. if anything, joker should be apologizing. he should be here groveling, begging for your forgiveness rather than arlo, the man you want to marry.

you caress his face, lifting your hand to cup his cheek gently, pulling his head up. your heart aches, looking at those glossy blue eyes. he hasn't cried in years, told you as much, and yet here he is, on the brink. and all for you. with your thumb, you rub circles into his cheek.

"i love you, and i'll always be here for you.", you say, imagining that the ache in your heart matches his as he leans into your touch, letting out a breathy chuckle. he sighs, and his breath is warm against your chilled hands.

"besides, a couple kicks isn't gonna kill me. joker will have to try harder to take me out!", you give him a thumbs up, earning a more genuine laugh. "right, he'd have better luck by throwing a book at your head.", you gasp, "hey! i read, probably more than you, you ass!", "hm, you're right,", you cross your arms proud at your— "it'd have to be a calculus book. blunt force combined with your hatred of math? might have to arrange your funeral right now.", "HEY!"

you spend the evening like that, which soon falls into the night. the sun descends down the buildings outside the window, not returning. your sun, similarly grabs a blanket, covering himself with it as he sleeps in a chair at your bedside, holding your hand in his. you glance at him, and squeeze his hand ever so slightly. this is the man you want to marry, and joker better try his damn hardest to take you from him.

[insertcoolusernamehereee]

Spider-verse, but Nightwing

OK I once saw a comment somewhere which went along the lines of...

"I wish Dc would give us a animation-like Spiderverse of Nightwing"

and at first i kind of ignored it- cuz idk, i don't really care about Nightwing- I mean, i love him! He's great, but not one of my favorite batfamily members.

BUT THEN I REALIZED THE OTHER CHARACTERS WOULD BE THERE TOO

so, here's what i think a Spiderverse movie would be like,

(If the plot was similar)

Nightwing- Obv he's Miles Morales, the main character!

Gwen- OK, the love interest. So we have three main competitors for fan favorite ships! Dick/Wally, Dick/Barbara, and Dick/Kori! Now one of them is already cancelled by default, because Dc is a coward, so we only have Barbara and Kori left! and well, Barbara fits Gwen's personality much more than Kori, and that paired with the fact that DC favors DickBabs in general, WE HAVE A WINNER!

SpiderVerse- okay, this is where it starts to lean a bit away from the movies and a bit from the comics; Spiderverse is now the Court of Owls! My headcannon is that for some reason all vigilantes (minus Batman and one other person, u will find out) join the court of owls thinking it has the right idea, and then BOOM its not actually that good (it kills people it can't control). BUT its not that wrong either. When it figures out what its doing wrong, it starts helping the vigilantes against the real evil, which is...

Spot- The league of assassins :)) YES I KNOW, IT ISN'T REALLY A MAIN VILLAIN of Nightwing's, but STILL, it's too good of a opportunity to give up seeing Ra's and Talia in the movie.

Miles Parents- Bruce and Selina, obviously. I think Jefferson's personality as a parent is PERFECT for Bruce-emotionally-constipated-dad! Selina is Bruce's wife, obv, BUT there is one change here...Y'know that scene where Rio gives Miles that 'your un-grounded" talk? I think it would be Wally giving Nightwing a super cool heartwarming speech (it won't be the same though) and then turned out Selina was listening to it all and at the end is just like "sigh, ok, you're ungrounded, come back soon, i'll deal with Bruce."

NOW FOR THE REST OF THE BATFAMILY MEMBER'S

Tim Drake- DRUM ROLL PLEASE, Hobie Brown! Hobie's smart, and while his personality might be a bit too much....It's still perfect for the role Tim would be playing. Hobie doesn’t trust the Court, and at the end he’s the one who had everything prepared for when they realise that the Court Of Owls is wrong!

Stephanie Brown- AND SHE'S GOING TO BE OUR FAV CINNAMON ROLL, Pavitr Prabhakar. And as much as it pains me as a Pakistani to remove his Indian heritage, it must be done. He's goofy, he ships the two main characters, and is just adorable, he's perfect for Stephanie, and will definitely give her justice.

Cassandra Cain- Sadly, Cass is going to have a less prominent role in the second movie, but hopefully she shows up more in the third; Margo Kess! the scene where she lets Miles go is perfect, because she can detect body language and would understand that Nightwing is right, and Miguel is planning on hurting him.

Damian Wayne- FINALLY MY FAV CHARACTER, but this one is more of a original character instead of a already made character in the movie; Damian is going to be the person Dick has to save. Because i love their dynamic. So, Damian is probably being manipulated by LoA, and idk maybe Ra's is trying to use him as a body vessel without Damian knowing, and the court of owls needs him dead because "HES A WILD CARD" but Dick just NEEDS to save him "BECAUSE THAT'S MY BROTHER, DAMN YOU, IM NOT LETTING ANOTHER ONE DIE" and cue everyone fighting LoA and then a wholesome Dick and Dami scene; Feel free to elaborate on it.

Jason Todd- I had to think a lot for this, but i have a PERFECT answer; Uncle Aaron. ITS SAD AND WILL BREAK HEARTS BUT ITS PERFECT, HELP- The relationship with Jefferson? check. Dies? check. What more do we need?

a happy and alive Jason

Hey! Maybe he comes back when hey go to save Damian! Actually, yes, that is 100% the plot. They find Jason revived at the league and save him :3

Duke Thomas- I CANT FIND A CHARACTER FOR DUKE BUT HE HAS TO BE HERE DAMN IT- please either come up with a original character for Duke or find a already made character PLEASE.

RANDOM OTHER CHARACTERS

Peter B. Parker- Must i explain why? No, no i do not. its perfect.

Mayday- Jon Kent :))) Because why not///

MJ- (Peters wife and Maydays mother) Obv Lois Lane.

Miguel- Random court of owls leader (any idea's?).

SpiderWoman- Can't think of anyone...let me know what you guys think in the comments!

Peni Parker- Kori!! She's perfect

Pig Spiderman- Beast Boy lmao

Black and White Spiderman- Meme version of Raven.

Roy Harper- Just another original character who i need in the movie.

King-Pin- Mr. Freeze! his goals match up pretty well with Kingpins anyway.

The rest of the villains Miles faces will be random Rogues from Batman's gallery.

The rest of the Spiderman's in Spiderverse will be random Justice-League members (OMG I LOVE THIS)

And, well, the first movie takes place when it's only Dick and Jason adopted (Before Jason's death, and then a bit after, when Dick is dealing with the grief)

Feel free to add more stuff in reblogs/Comments! Really want to see what you guys come up with :3

[ticklishfiend]

um long irl tickle story because i’m tweaking out rn 😀

so i’ve got this friend who is also not Just A Friend and it’s complicated LMFAO anyways, we’ve done kink play stuff before so we know everything each other is into. obviously this means they know i’m real big into tickling fjskjf (which no, is not purely sexual for me lol. neither of us are very sexual people, kink isn’t always abt sex and i think more people in this community need that to register in their brains LOL)

ANYWAYYS so i dont think they know Just how into it i am, like they dont even know abt this blog but im slowly working up the courage to tell them abt it bc i know they wouldnt be weirded out (im just shy LOL). so bc they dont rlly know how big of a thing this is for me, they’ve never Really tickled me before.

now, i’ve tickled them. plenty actually lol. it’s super fun and i love tickling them sosososo much bc they’re reactions are so cute and they’re really good at holding still lol. but anytime they’ve tickled me, it’s mainly just like a poke here or a squeeze there, nothing for real yknow.

which is like. it’s fine. but every time they do it i get skyrocketed into the biggest lee mood for like days on end and usually i get too embarrassed to tell them dhsjndjsg

but the other day i actually decided to tell them how much it affected me. we had both spent the night at a friends house, and at every sleepover when its time for bed, our other friend goes to her room and then its just the two of us alone in the living room. we were high the other night and cuddling, and they kept teasing me by making claw hands and wiggling their fingers at me (i’ve told them before it flusters me So Bad when they do it and now they’re just relentless with it 😭😭), they poked me a few times like usual but also kept quickly skittering their fingers on my foot which they’ve never done before and dhsjjdjdf i was too high i was losing my mind

so that was it, but the next day when i got home i texted them telling them they were so evil for that bc now im feeling crazy. they found that hilarious and teased me abt it for a minute 😭 so i thought that was the end of it bc they rarely tease me too much (im mainly the dom in our relationship so i can understand why lol)

but then. but then.

my friend group went hiking all day today, so when we got back to my friends house we were pretty beat. me and my friend were cuddling on the couch watching tv, but they just kept. poking. me. i felt crazy LMFAO

so ofc bc im me, i was tickling back! i’m more deliberate with my tickles, so i kept squeezing their side and poking places i know they’re ticklish at. they ofc kept making wiggly hands at me, but atp im like so lee and it’s not enough 😭

so. i called them a coward! (teasingly, ofc). i didn’t get specific cause our other friends were right there and id rather they not know abt it LMAO but this main friend knew what i was talking about. they were playing all offended, trying to defend themselves, but they kept not actually tickling me so ofc i kept calling them a coward hehehe

so later tonight once we were at our own houses, we text each other almost immediately. ofc because i was feeling super lee after all that i told them i was (playfully) mad at them for teasing me earlier

they started defending themself again saying they aren’t a coward, so i texted back with “always threatening but never actually does anything about it 🥱 coward behavior to me”

they texted back with “when i come over tmrrw its over. im gonna get you”

😨 WHAAAATRTSJS

AAAAHHHHHH

i was. freaking out LMFAOOO

they kept teasing me back and forth about it and i am STILL losing my mind and that was hours ago 😭😭

we’re hanging out tmrrw night and yall. yall idk if i can HANDLE ITFNFKD we’re spending the night like we always do so once we’re alone and ALSO HIGH AGAIN………bitch i can’t my stomach just turned a flip thinking about it omfg

anyways yeah sorry i know this was long but this little back and forth on “will they ever actually tickle me” has been going on for almost a YEAR now so im justifiably freaking out abt it LMFAOO

i’m also taking my driving test for my license tmrrw before we hang out so let’s hope i don’t start thinking abt tickles and crash the car 👍

[nerves-nebula]

"I might not be in a better place but ill be gone and that's good enough"

Oh.

Like ok My buddy my friend dearest homie whom I've followed for a long time now, I need to let you know that u single handedly just ripped off several curtains off and forced my own wounds and rot to acknowledge itself. You're someone I've admired and looked up 4 a while now. You were never scared to say what was on your mind even if it was silly or uncomfortable. Maybe if I wasn't such a massive coward hiding behind the anon button id do something more than a thanks like this.

I just wanted to let you know that u matter, if not to the universe or whatever perceives us then at least to me (and I mean that in like a Benevolent Eldritch way like the Minecraft end poem or that one warm squishy YouTube comment under the eldertubbies vid with mother void)

Maybe if things weren't as they are right now, with us as forever strangers and distance keeping everything in between you could join us. Me and my merry band of lost things(<-my friends&sibs[they're silly]) Hop in our van and just fucking LEAVE. Just Ditch everything and hide in the woods and make a little village out of it. Itd probably be cold, and dirty and tiring but yk

There's not really a point I'm trying to make here. There's not much I can give to make anything feel better.

But I care. I do.

And I'm so sorry for everything that's been done, for the things that will happen and for not being able to be more human thru these screens.

I'd wrap u up in a blanket and give you soup if I could but all we have in common are sky and stars. So think of soup everytime u see them :))

I might have read that post of urs wrong itslike fucking 3:30am here and im sleep deprived af. If I did my bad just disregard this completely. If not then I hope both sides of ur pillow are cold when you sleep and u get 2 remember again why the sun is loved and why it loves back today :)

Ps I fucking love ur work very scrumptious and heart dropping it's amazing. U go homie ur on fire!!

Your time zone isn’t too far off mine, was like 4 AM when I posted that. I haven’t seen many stars in years. I know the sky is full of them but I don’t recall ever being far enough away from light that I could see it.

Idk what some of the stuff you said here means (specifically the squishy YouTube comment) but that’s aight its the VIBE and EMOTION that counts (of which you have plenty)

I’m so tired man

[malaierba]

I have SO MANY thoughts and notes about Choro and Kara's dynamic but I don't really have the material to do a proper post so I'll just highlight my favourite moments of the duo:

When they ended up as their mom's reserve kids (alongside Jyushimatsu (unrelated but I love the Reserve Trio mostly because imagining Choro survive it makes me feel alive)) and Karamatsu keeps failing at appealing to his mom's affection, Choro straight up tells him "If things go wrong I'll take care of you!"

Then speed forward to like three or four different instances over the three series where Choromatsu falls, and Karamatsu yells "are you okay Choromatsu!? I'll save you Choromatsu!!" but DOESN'T STOP RUNNING KFKDKJF

When the brothers are taking advantage of Karamatsu's inability to say no, who calls him out on it??? Choromatsu!!

On the same episode though Karamatsu once again left Choromatsu to fend for himself against his devil brothers 💀 he's such a coward lol

Episode 24, Karamatsu was setting the mood to celebrate Choro!! He even gave him a surprisingly thoughtful Nyaa-chan thingy! And something painful of course but that's his brand

(I think he'd give good gifts in general, if a bit over-the-top at times)

Then during the Valentine's day episode he gave Choro some choco, all while saying "I like you because you're so lame that I look cool besides you" JDDHFJ this man has got jokes yall

I don't remember much about the Omurice skit they do other than they were VIBING ON THE SAME WAVELENGTH and it was Glorious. I think all the time of Karamatsu calling Choromatsu out like "STOP PLAYING DUMB IM TALKING ABOUT PERVY STUFF AND YOU KNOW IT" and Choromatsu honest to god CLUTCHING HIS INVISIBLE PEARLS lmao

I personally call them the LaLaLand duo, because they both live in an alternate reality made up of alternative facts that support the belief that they're The Proper One/The Cool One, and if I'm honest it almost surprises me that Choro is probably beating Karamatsu on number of episodes solely focused on poking fun at this gap between the reality they try to manufacture vs. The Actual Reality (see: the self-awareness orb episode and the Choromatsu Museum episode).

But at the same time I kind of appreciate that both of them can take a look at their immediate surroundings and call out bs when they see it. PARTICULARLY when Osomatsu is at the heart of that bs. Peak eldest three moments are those where Osomatsu is talking out of his ass, and Karamatsu is making The Exceptical Face that he does only for him (yknow. like 😒 but more Done) while Choromatsu is seconds away from nagging him to filth.

I like to think that they just have an special bond, a sympathetic understanding born from having to see Osomatsu live his best effort-economizing life, where too often they've shared looks that eloquently says "u seeing this bs rn"

So I guess my perception of their relationship is that they're comfortable enough with each other to discuss more personal things, Choromatsu seems to look out for Karamatsu a bit more but on the other hand Kara seems to trust his competence with a degree of honesty (even if he finds it a bit geeky), they can absolutely vibe on the same wavelength, and

I think it's good that they both seem to be Exceptical of the others social persona (Choromatsu more than Karamatsu, which is funny because Kara thinking he's a cool suave guy is so harmless??? Karamatsu on the other hand was horrified when Choromatsu tried to lie about being a NEET in his Christmas card, but other than that he Lets Him Live Laugh Love lol), because if they weren't.... If they fed into each others imaginations??? We'd have reason to worry

I also think that this dynamic is a somewhat recent development, as in, happened post highschool. Idk much about Osomatsu-kun but from what I understand, Karamatsu was more of a shy crybaby (if gluttonous? Call back to the Night Snacks skit where we see a VERY RARE Karamatsu telling Jyushi, arguably his fave youngest sibling, to get his ass back in bed, and all Choromatsu says is "Welp, duh, grub is involved" haha) while Choromatsu had that Godforsaken Temper of his with none of the social conditioning to motivate him to keep it in check.

I like to think about Karamatsu being artistically inclined from middle school, and exploring more earnestly his interests in high school. I used to like the idea of Choromatsu and Jyushimatsu glaring at whoever had a problem with the budding, still somewhat timid High School!Karamatsu being the theatre kid he was born to be, but then again I guess that doesn't quite fit the timeline as we see it in the movie? Shame 😔

Still, something something middleschool and highschool etc, Choromatsu is the one that goes to the McDonald's casheer with Karamatsu's burger and says "he didn't want pickles", and then post highschool they build a dynamic around other things.