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therealcocoshady · 18 days

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Recovery - Chapter 34

Eminem x FemReader Fanfiction

Summary : Thanksgiving is just around the corner and Reader is planning Talia and Jamal's wedding when unexpected news happen.

Tags : Angst

TW : Mention of drug use - Mention of pregnancy

Author's Note : I hope you enjoy the chapter ❤️

Y/N’s POV

Ever since Marshall had informed you that Kim would be there for Thanksgiving, you were a little bit freaked out. However, you didn’t really bring up the topic, and neither did your boyfriend. After the conversation, you spent a few days pondering whether or not you should try and escape the situation. Not being American, Thanksgiving wasn’t important to you anyway so you wouldn’t mind skipping it or celebrating it the same way you had done since you came to the US - with Talia and Jamal.

When you moved to Detroit, you quickly befriended Talia at the beginning of the school year. You were planning on spending your first Thanksgiving in your dorm room, on your own, watching a crappy movie and eating ramen, but she wouldn’t have it and invited you to spend the day with her, her boyfriend and her family. At first, you declined the invitation but she basically forced you to go and that’s how you met Jamal, as well as Talia’s mother and her three sisters. You got along with everyone and had an official, standing invitation for every holiday, your best friend’s family being just as warm and welcoming as her. Even when you were with your ex, you spent Thanksgiving with Talia. This year would be your first time celebrating it with someone else. When you told her about the change of plans, she was happy for you but made it clear that you would be missed. To be fair, you would miss them too. You didn’t know too much about how everyone else celebrated Thanksgiving, but Talia’s family certainly made it fun : everyone would spend the day cooking together in a relaxed atmosphere, making jokes, dancing to some 80s tunes and playing board games.

You didn’t mind skipping this in order to celebrate with the man you loved, but knowing his ex-wife would be there certainly made you reconsider. However, he made it clear that he was looking forward to celebrating with you and told you how important it was for him that you be there.

It’s a family holiday, he said. We’re officially living together, it doesn’t make sense to spend it apart, Y/N. We’re family, now.

We’re still very new, you reminded him. What will your family think ?

As far as they’re concerned, you can do no wrong, he chuckled. Apparently, they’re all relieved that my grumpy ass found someone who is actually willing to put up with me. And they all know and like you already.

Except for your ex, you pointed out.

Is that what it’s really about ? He asked with a raised eyebrow.

You sighed and did not reply. Part of you thought that it was a good thing that Marshall and Kim were on friendly terms, for the sake of their daughters. It was a proof of maturity on their part and you had heard enough stories from your friends with divorced parents to know that it was actually a good thing. Everyone would like for their parents to be able to get along after a divorce. But being the partner of someone who was divorced made it a little challenging. After all, no one expected to spend a holiday with their boyfriend’s ex-wife, let alone relished the idea.

I told you it will be fine, he said as he hugged you from behind while you were doing your skincare before bed. And it’s not just her, anyway. Everyone else will be there.

Yes but she’s the only one I haven’t met yet, you said sheepishly. What if she hates me ?

Why would she hate you ? He scoffed.

Because I’m your girlfriend… Duh ?

Look, Y/N, he said as he took your hands in his. Yes, Kim is my ex, and yes, we have a long and complicated history. But any form of romantic feeling between us is long gone. There won’t be any jealousy… On her part, at least.

The end of his comment made you raise an eyebrow.

You think I’m jealous of her ? You asked.

I don’t know, he said with a smile. Are you ?

I guess not, you shrugged. I do have many questions, though.

So we’re gonna have that talk, huh ? He asked with a sigh.

Do you mind ?

No offense, babe, but even if I did… I know you well-enough to know that you’d toss and turn all night, and you'll drive yourself crazy and me as well. I love you, and I want to get some sleep tonight, so for both our sakes, let’s get this over with, he chuckled.

Thank you, you said shyly as you felt your face redden a bit.

You both sat in bed and you were nervously tugging on your nightgown, not really knowing where to start.

I don’t have all night, though, he said playfully. Just ask your damn questions, babe.

Did she sleep here ? You asked, as it was the first question that popped into your head - hell, maybe you were in her spot !

In this room or in this bed ? He asked. This is the master bedroom, so yeah, we slept here. The bed and mattress are new, though, if that’s any comfort. Next question ?

Do you miss her, sometimes ? You asked nervously.

He glanced at you and shook his head with a smile.

What kind of question is that, Y/N ? He simply asked. Really ? You’re asking me if I miss her ?

Can you blame me for wondering, though ? Everyone knows she’s the love of your life, your high-school sweetheart and stuff…

Everyone also knows that our marriages were utter failures and that we drove each other crazy, he stated with an eye roll.

So you never think about her ? You asked.

That’s a different question. Of course I think about her often.

Often ?! What the hell did he mean by that ? As he saw the expression on your face - that probably resembled that of a deer in headlights - he let out a laugh.

I told you, babe, we have a history and three daughters, he said. Of course I think about her, whether it’s something about the girls or simply memories. I can’t erase twenty-plus years from my brain, you know ? But it doesn’t mean I miss her. I used to, for sure, but I don’t. Not anymore. You can think of the good times you had with someone without missing the relationship.

I guess, you said. How do you feel about her now, then ?

I mean… She’s the mother of my children and that will never change. In that regard, I respect her, because she’s doing her best to be a good mom, too. I might not always agree with her, in fact there’s a lot of shit we disagree on, but she’s high in my esteem. Also because she put up with a lot of me and my shit, he said.

Do you have feelings for her ? You blurted out before you were able to hold back the words.

As soon as you spoke these words, he frowned and shook his head. He sighed and took your hand in his, interlocking your fingers.

I just told you I don’t miss her, he said. So no, I don’t have feelings for her. Not romantic, at least. I do have affection for her, though, in a way. I care for her and I don’t want anything bad happening to her. If she ever needs me, I’m here. I told you before - whether we like it or not, Kim and I will always be family. So I will always be there to support her.

You nodded, a bit lost in your thoughts. He pulled you in his arms and leaned in, his forehead resting against yours while his piercing blue gaze held yours.

I need you to understand something, baby, he said. Nothing I’m saying here affects the way I feel about you. Just because I care for Kim doesn’t mean I don’t love you. You are the woman I love and the one who makes me happy, and no one will change that.

Ok, you said as you nodded softly. I love you too, you know ?

And even if she did hate you, which she won’t, you’re the one person I chose to share my life with. Whether anyone likes it or not, you are my girl and they have to respect that. And I know she does, he said.

Ok, you said. Does she know that we live together here ?

She does, he nodded.

And that I’m… You know… Younger ?

Yes, that too, he chuckled. I mean, I told her about you before so she knows a couple of things. She knows your name, your age, what you do in life, part of our story and, most of all, she knows I am head over heels in love with you.

When did you tell her all that ? You asked, a bit surprised.

I talked about you on a couple of occasions, he explained. When we got together, and a couple of months after our breakup, too. We don’t speak or see each other too often, but we keep up with each other’s life.

He was smiling, which was sort of reassuring. His transparency made you feel at peace and, even though you were still a bit anxious, you eased up. You smiled back and kissed him on the cheek.

Thank you for reassuring me, you said softly. I think you got yourself a night without me tossing and turning.

Good, he chuckled. I get how weird it must be for you, you know ? But I’m sure everything will be fine. It’s just Thanksgiving.

You smiled and nuzzled his neck as he held you in his arms, tracing circles on your shoulder.

I love you, Marshall.

I love you too, Y/N. And I’m really happy we’re celebrating our first holiday together, he added.

That’s a milestone, you said.

The first of many, many more, he said with a smile before pressing a kiss to your temple.

So… What does a typical Thanksgiving look like in the Mathers household ? You asked. What should I expect ?

Just classic Thanksgiving stuff, you know ? He shrugged.

Well I only ever celebrated at Talia’s family’s, so… I don’t know, you chuckled. In my experience, it involves Talia’s mom preaching about how good God is and the blessings he gives, lots of cooking, lots of eating, board games and Talia’s sisters arguing over who Jamal prefers !

Sometimes I forget you’re not from here, he chortled. No preaching here, but lots of eating, just hanging out together, talking, watching movies, playing games… And I have my basketball tradition with Nate.

Let me guess ? You usually win ? You asked with a grin.

I lost the last one, actually, he chuckled. But I’ll definitely humiliate him this year. I have a lady to impress, I can’t lose.

If you win, I’ll give you something to look forward to, you said teasingly.

Like what ? He asked with a smirk.

Win and you’ll see, you replied with a wink.

I have an entire week left before the game, he said. Believe me, I’m going to train for victory.

You giggled and kissed him softly before turning the lights off. You were a little reassured and figured that, even though your first Thanksgiving with him would be a bit stressful, you would get to admire him all sweaty on the basketball court and that would be absolutely worth it.

In the week leading up to Thanksgiving, you were busy with wedding stuff and maid of honor duties. Talia and Jamal had yet to set a date for the wedding but that didn’t prevent your best friend from giving you tasks such as browsing ideas, looking at dress designers and searching for venues. You gladly obliged : you had sent out a few applications for jobs but you hadn’t gotten any answers yet and you were starting to get a bit bored. You would have gladly taken care of the house or garden, but there was staff hired for that and the only thing you could do to help around the house was to cook dinner for Marshall when he came back from work. You enjoyed it but it was clearly not enough to fill your days and you were starting to feel like one of those rich, bored housewives. Helping Talia with the wedding was a welcome distraction and you took the task with the utmost seriousness. You had always been a sucker for weddings and you knew full well it would be the only one you would get to organize so you decided to enjoy it. Every day after she got off from work, your friend would come to your place and your living room was soon filled with bridal magazines and moodboards for what was set to be the wedding of the century. Jamal’s work as a renowned beatmaker allowed them to have a very comfortable lifestyle and he had made clear that, whatever Talia wanted for the wedding, she would get. And she happened to have expensive taste, as well as a never-ending guest list.

I will never find a venue, she loudly complained. I either hate the places we’re looking at, or they’re simply not big enough.

You let out a sympathetic laugh. With the immense guest list they had, it was no surprise that finding a venue would be challenging. It seemed like every single person they had ever met would be invited.

We will find something, you said with a smile. Or maybe you could try and shrink the guest list ?

Jamal put you up to this, didn’t he ? She sighed. He keeps on telling me that we should keep it small. If it were up to him, we would elope…

That could be super romantic, you know, you said tentatively. I mean… How many people on your guest list do you actually keep in touch with anyway ?

I want my princess wedding, she said. You don’t know what it is. You’ll see when you get engaged !

I’m not getting married, you reminded her. Marshall doesn’t want to get married. You know it, I know it, everybody knows it.

I can’t believe you’re willing to accept that, though, she said with an eye roll. You, of all people, not getting married ?

You know I’m a sucker for weddings and all things “traditional family”, you chuckled. But I’d rather never get married and be with Marshall than the other way around. He means more to me than a dress I’d wear for a day.

You know I love Em, but I just don’t get it, she shrugged before munching on a cupcake you had baked earlier. He’s old, so I get the “not wanting kids” part. But you moved back here for him and you decided to give up on kids to be with him, so the least he could do is put a ring on it, you know ?

We just got back together, you giggled. And don’t get me wrong, if he asked for my hand, I would say yes. I mean, he is the love of my life. But he seems pretty adamant. And as long as I’m with him, I’m good, so really… Doesn’t matter.

Still… I never thought you would be ready to renounce marriage and children for any man.

You could absolutely see where Talia was coming from. You had spent countless hours talking about wedding stuff, since the two of you had met. You had actually bonded over your love of romantic movies and series and watched countless wedding-related TV shows. But you had made your choice and you understood that Marshall didn’t want that. And after all, he was right : you didn’t need to sign a piece of paper to be in a loving, committed relationship. As long as you got to experience life with him and make great memories, you were happy. And as for the fun you would have had planning your own wedding, you would live vicariously through Talia, who would be the most beautiful bride. The conversation shifted and you got back to your order of business : the wedding. You looked at venues while she took a fun break and looked at the Vera Wang website.

I’m going to be sick, Talia muttered after a while.

Come on, you chuckled. The bridal collections can’t be that bad…

No, I’m really feeling sick, she said before running to the bathroom.

You heard her puke profusely and looked at the plate of cupcakes. She had eaten about half a dozen. You had eaten a few yourself, though not nearly as much, and you were feeling fine, so you doubted that your baking was actually to blame. When she came back from the bathroom, she looked rather ill and tired.

Do you want some tea ? You offered.

Yes, please, she said in a croaky voice.

Lay on the couch, I’ll make it. Do you think you caught a stomach bug or something ?

I don’t know, she said in a small voice. Maybe it’s my period ? I’ve been waiting for it to actually come for a while.

Wait… You’re late ? You asked with a raised eyebrow.

You stared at her in disbelief and started to put two and two together. In the past days, she had complained about being tired and bloated, but you didn’t think too much of it. However, now that you knew she was late, it made you think of your own symptoms, from when you were pregnant. That’s how it had started after all : feeling tired, hungry and bloated, with a bit of morning sickness to top it off.

I can’t be pregnant, Talia said with a terrified look on her face. My mother gave me enough shit about living with Jamal before being married, she will kill me if I have a baby out of wedlock.

Maybe it’s just a false alarm. You’re using protection, right ? You asked as you tried to reassure her.

Of course, she said. I mean, except once, but what would be the odds ?

When was that ? You asked with a raised eyebrow.

Hum… The night we got engaged ? She said nervously.

You opened big eyes. The night they got engaged was the night Jamal brought condoms to your room. And doing the math, it would make sense and explain Talia’s period being quite a bit late. On some level… You were the one who stopped taking the pill after your breakup and your best friend might as well be the one who ended up pregnant. You convinced her to take a pregnancy test and the two of you ended up driving to the nearest pharmacy, buying one from every brand. When you got back home, Talia was shaking with nerves.

You’ll be fine, you said as you gave her a hug. You guys have been together for ages and you guys have talked about having kids before. You know he will be supportive.

I know but… Right before the wedding ?! She asked nervously. That was not the plan, Y/N. I wanted to look good in my dress, I wanted to show off my figure in a bikini on a Hawaiian beach for my honeymoon…

Only one way to find out, you said. Now, go and take the test !

In true bestie fashion, you sat on the tub while Talia was peeing on the stick. She handed it to you during the mandatory three minute waiting period. You had been there before and you knew damn well how she might be feeling. You held her hand and started to feel overcome with nerves, as well as many other emotions. You were probably a bad friend for this, and you would never confess to feeling this way, but deep down, you were feeling envious. You were content with your life, but some shameful part of you felt like you would have been in her place, if you hadn’t broken up with Simon. You would most likely be engaged, maybe with a rainbow baby on the way. In a way, you were envious. Of course, being with Marshall was everything you wanted and you loved him more than hypothetical plans of having kids or getting married, and Talia was more than deserving of these things, but it was stronger than you. When the alarm on your phone rang, both you and Talia took a deep breath.

I can’t look at it, she said.

You sort of have to, you pointed out. You have to know, right ?

You look at it and tell me.

You nervously took the stick and looked at it. Two lines. Positive.

You’re… pregnant, you said in a blank voice.

She gasped and looked at it herself. She freaked out and refused to believe it, trying to convince the both of you that it might be a false positive and she ended up guzzling almost a gallon of water and taking another test. Then another one. And another one. Of course, all of them had the same result : your best friend was definitely pregnant.

I’m pregnant, she said in disbelief. I’m really pregnant.

How are you feeling ? You asked.

I… I can’t believe it, she simply said. I am pregnant.

She stared at the numerous tests on the sink and put a hand on her belly. She stared at you as tears welled up in her eyes.

I’m pregnant, she repeated.

Look, if you don’t feel ready, you can absolutely…, you began.

No, she said. I think… I’m happy. I’m having a baby with the love of my life. I’m so happy.

She took you in her arms and held you tightly as she sobbed with happiness. You were emotional - for a lot of different reasons - and you felt a tear roll on your cheek. Talia was the kindest soul you had ever met and you had absolutely no doubt that she would be an amazing mother. She was already so good at taking care of people.

You’re going to be a splendid mom, you said softly. That baby is going to be so lucky.

You’re going to be the best aunt, she said emotionally.

And Jamal is going to be the greatest Dad on earth !

Oh my God, I have to tell Jamal ! She said. And my mom ? Do I call my mom ? And the wedding ?! What do I do ?!?!

You could see her go through so many emotions at once. You tried your best to reassure her and walked her through what she needed to do. First, you told her to go home and break the news to Jamal before telling anyone else. Then, she would have to make some medical appointments to ensure everything was alright with her pregnancy. As for the wedding, you assured her that, whether they wanted to elope or wait until after the baby was born, you would do your best to make sure her dreams came true and that she would have the most beautiful wedding. Whatever she needed, you would be there for her. She hugged you tight before leaving your place, making you promise that you would not tell a soul, not even Marshall.

MARSHALL’S POV

Marshall sighed in relief as he drove past the gate of his property. The past few days at the studio had been pretty rough : nothing seemed to be going right and it was starting to get on his nerves. The week had started with an artist postponing a recording and writing session they were supposed to have together, as well as a sample clearing issue. However, there was a bigger problem : whenever he wanted to write, he couldn’t bring himself to. Whenever he jotted down some ideas or words on a page, everything felt insanely corny or simply wrong. He knew that was to be expected, though : whenever his personal life was peaceful, that’s when he found it harder to write and, right now, things happened to be going great at home. Every morning, he woke up with the biggest smile on his face, happy to be with the woman he loved. She was truly amazing and he loved living with her. She was easy to get along with and she took care of him by cooking, baking and providing him with comfort whenever he needed. There was literally nothing for him to complain about and, deep down, maybe it was what was lacking. When they were broken up, he was hurting and felt like shit but at least, it was a familiar feeling. As hard as it had been, he had learned to thrive on sadness, hurt, anger and resentment. Happiness, on the other hand, felt foreign to him, especially when it was this peaceful and domestic. There was always this irrational part of him that felt like it was too good to be true and was in panic mode. When he was with Kim, this kind of calm, peace and happiness only meant a storm was coming and that he was about to be brought to his knees. Same when he was a teenager living with his mother : when things were going great, it always meant drama was coming their way. So, obviously, he had developed trust issues and always felt odd when things were going good. Of course, he loved being with Y/N and he would not have it any other way. But at the same time, he couldn’t shake the feeling of anxiety.

When he got home, he found Y/N reading yet another bridal magazine on the couch while a documentary was playing on the living room TV. He immediately joined her and pulled her in for a hug. Her presence was just what he needed. However, she seemed a bit more distracted than usual.

How was wedding planning today ? He asked as he settled and pulled her legs over his knees.

Eventful, she replied.

Really ? What happened ? Did you argue about the color of the bridesmaids dresses ? He chuckled.

No, no, she said. I mean, whatever, it’s not really interesting.

Are you alright ? He asked.

Yeah… How was your day ?

She seemed a little nervous and preoccupied, but he figured that Talia was probably to blame. Jamal’s fiancée was amazing, but she did keep Y/N busy with wedding planning and he knew that she was definitely the type to turn into a bridezilla. He told his girlfriend about his day and a meeting he had about upcoming performance dates. He was set to be a headliner for Lollapalooza, not only in the US but also in Europe and South America. He tried to focus on the positive and keep his writing struggles to himself.

How would you feel about coming with me for Lollapalooza ? He asked.

I don’t know, she shrugged.

Come on, he said with a smile. It could be fun. I don’t want to be away from you for too long. And you could also enjoy the festival, see concerts, and we could travel a bit between the performance dates and make it romantic. What do you think ?

That could be fun, she agreed. I don’t know if I’ll be free, though.

I think Talia can do without you for a little while, he chuckled.

No, I meant… From work, she corrected. In case I find something, you know ? But maybe Talia will need me too. I don’t know.

We’ll see, he said with a smile. Are you sure you’re ok ? You seem… Gloomy ?

I’m fine, she shrugged. Sorry. I guess I’m just under the weather.

You’re working too hard for this wedding, he said as he took the magazine from her hands and pulled her closer to him. Come here.

She hummed and buried her face in his neck. They cuddled in this position for a while and he started to relax. The warmth of her breath on his skin was doing a good job soothing him and making him forget about the frustrations of the day. From the day she walked into his life, she had been a peaceful presence for him and getting to come home to her in the evening was a blessing he was definitely grateful for. He enjoyed being in a bubble with her and being able to forget about the pressure of his work. They didn’t need to speak, her mere presence in the room and her touch were enough for him to be able to ease up.

I missed you today, he said as he kissed her temple.

I missed you too, she replied.

If you didn’t have that appointment tomorrow, I’d take you to work with me, he continued. I could use your hugs throughout the day.

What appointment ? She asked, seemingly confused.

Your OB/GYN appointment for your contraception. Isn’t that tomorrow ?

Oh, right, she said sheepishly. I forgot about that.

Are you ok, babe ? He asked with his eyebrows furrowed. I mean… If you don’t want to take the pill, it’s fine, we can stick to condoms.

No, no, it’s not that, she replied.

What’s wrong, then ?

Nothing, she said. Sorry. Mind if I go lie down before preparing dinner ? I don’t feel too well.

No, of course not, he said softly. Do you want me to come with you ?

Don’t worry, she said. You can stay here.

She got up and kissed his cheek before heading to their bedroom. Something definitely seemed off. Ever since they got back from Europe, she had been in a rather good mood, even considering the situation with her Dad. Now, she almost seemed depressed and he had no idea why. He decided to let her rest, figuring that she was probably just tired or that her period might be on the way. A couple of hours later, he went to see her and ask if she was hungry. She immediately offered to cook something for him, even though she didn’t plan on eating, but he told her not to bother. Y/N was laying in bed, wearing one of his tee-shirts, doom scrolling on her phone, the preoccupied look still on her face. He kissed her and went to the kitchen for a quick sandwich and a can of diet coke. When he was done, he threw his can in the trash and saw three sticks that looked all too familiar : pregnancy tests. Ever since he got back with Y/N, they’d had protected sex and, on one occasion when the condom broke, she had gotten emergency contraception. There was no way she could be pregnant. So why the hell had she taken these tests ? In a matter of seconds, his heart had started pounding in his chest. He nervously grabbed one of the tests, hoping it was negative. But there were clearly two lines. Positive. So were the two other ones. He felt terrified and dizzy. That had to be a nightmare. He could not have a baby. Not at fifty-two. Not when he had sworn that he would not have any more children. If anything, he was the last person on earth that should have kids. He loved his daughters, obviously, and even though raising them was his biggest accomplishment, it was also the hardest thing he had ever had to do. Seeing the two lines on the pregnancy tests gave him flashbacks of all the sleepless nights he’d had, tossing and turning, doubting himself and being terrified to mess things up. There was no way he would be able to do it all over again. Now that his daughters were grown-up and out of the house, he wanted to take it easy, enjoy life with Y/N and be able to do whatever he wanted. The last thing he expected was to change diapers, get up in the middle of the night and just struggle all over again. He took his face in his hands. He could not do this, and especially not with Y/N. She had not even been sober for two years. He had been there with Kim and he knew what it was like to see the mother of his children relapse and struggle with sobriety. No kid ever deserved this and he was simply not strong enough to raise a kid with another addict. Not again. He tried to pace himself but he couldn’t. He had to talk to her. He did not understand. Why hadn’t she told him she was late ? When did she take the test ? Why didn’t she tell him she was pregnant ? He had so many questions. He grabbed the sticks and walked to the bedroom to confront her.

Please tell me it’s a prank, he said as he walked in. Please tell me it’s not true. Please tell me they’re fake.

Fake what ? What prank ? She asked as she looked up. There’s no prank.

So it’s real ?! He blurted out. How long did you think you could hide this from me ?!

Hide what from you ? She asked as her eyebrows knitted.

THIS ! He yelled as he threw the pregnancy tests on the bed.

He was livid. His anxiety had simply turned to anger. The idea that she could have the audacity to pretend not to know what he was talking about was driving him crazy. Had she even taken the plan B pill ? He couldn’t think straight anymore. He felt betrayed and trapped. He could see her face change as she saw the pregnancy tests. Her face started to crumble and tears started to roll on her cheeks. But if she thought he would fall for it, she was wrong. No amount of crying would work and she was not getting away with it.

Don’t even try that shit with me, Y/N, he said coldly. You don’t get to pretend you have no idea when I’m talking about when I just found these fucking pregnancy tests. And you don’t get to cry when you’re the one who tried to hide that shit for me. What were you fucking thinking ?! Were you waiting for the legal delay for an abortion to be over ? For an ultrasound to soften me up ?!

W-What ? She asked. No, Marshall, it’s not…

What is it, huh ?! Fuck, we talked about this, we fucking broke up over this, so don’t tell me you didn’t fucking know how I feel about having kids, he continued. I’m not having another kid. Especially not with you. When you get to the doctor tomorrow, you better ask him to point you to the nearest abortion clinic !

She stared at him in shock. Her mouth was slightly open, she was still crying but she looked in disbelief. What was she thinking ? That he would jump up at the news ? He shook his head and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed.

It’s Talia, she said. She…

Of course it’s Talia, he scoffed. Of course your stupid friend put you up to this. Do you know the number of times she told me to suck it up and agree to marriage, babies and shit and get you back ? I gotta hand it to her, she’s fucking persistent. Though I must admit I didn’t think she would put you up to this.

At this point, he wasn’t even thinking about what he was saying, just spitting his words in a spiteful way. As seconds went by, he was getting more and more worked up. He didn’t care about this pregnancy. He did not want to. He simply refused this possibility. There was no way he was having another baby. He loved Y/N but there was no way he would have a kid with her.

You’re not the first person to try this with me, you know ? He spat. I should have known better. But you’re the last person I would have expected to try and fuck me ovI-

I’M NOT PREGNANT ! Y/N finally yelled before throwing the tests back in his face.

You’re not ?! He asked in disbelief. Whose fucking tests are they then ?!

TALIA’S ! TALIA IS PREGNANT, YOU ASSHOLE ! NOT ME !

He felt a sudden wave of relief wash over him. He didn’t realize he needed to breathe that much, but it felt like he had a whole bottle of oxygen poured into his lungs. He felt at least thirty pounds lighter. Y/N, on the other hand, looked absolutely livid. And why wouldn’t she ? He realized he had basically insulted her, blinded by anger. As his mind got a little clearer, he recognized he might have gone a little overboard.

Thank God, he sighed. Babe, I…

Cut it, she said as she got up from bed and started to leave the room.

Wait, he pleaded as he grabbed her arm.

She jerked her arm and groaned before going to the corridor. He followed her, trying to apologize and get her to talk to him.

Y/N, I’m sorry, he said sheepishly.

Please, she scoffed. You’re not sorry.

I am, he assured her. Nerves got the best of me. I’m really sorry.

Well, at least I got to know what you really think of me, she said.

Where are you going ? He asked as she went down the stairs.

On the couch. I don’t know about you, but I usually don’t sleep in the same room as people who think I am capable of betraying them, she spat.

I didn’t say that, he defended himself knowing full well he had, indeed, said that.

You did, Marshall, she said coldly. You literally said I tried to fuck you over. And not only do you think I am a terrible person, you also insulted my best friend.

You’re not sleeping in the living room, it’s stupid, he said.

Well I would have appreciated waiting until tomorrow to gather my things and figure out my next move, she pointed out.

Your next… Y-You want to… leave ?!

She did not answer. She only shrugged. Her demeanor and gaze were cold. She was clearly pissed, understandably so. But… Leaving ? She couldn’t leave him. He couldn’t lose her. He had promised to himself he would do everything in his power not to. The idea of her leaving put him in a state of panic and brought him back to their breakup, to that fateful Saturday morning, over pancakes, about seven or eight months ago.

You can’t leave.

Why should I stay ?! She spat. Why should I stay with someone who thinks I am capable of betraying them ?

I didn’t mean that, he pleaded. I panicked, I’m sorry. Babe, I love you. I know you’d never… Fuck, I… Don’t leave me. Please.

Let’s be clear, she said as she looked at him dead in the eyes. The only reason I’m still standing here is because my best friend is telling her future husband that they’re having a child and there is no way in hell I’m ruining that moment for her. Otherwise, I’d be over there and back in my old room already.

Don’t do this, he said on the verge of tears. Please don’t leave me. I just… You seemed a little off, today, and you said it had been eventful, and when I saw the tests, I… I don’t know, I panicked.

The reason I was off is because my best friend just told me she was pregnant, you dumbass ! She yelled. I was off because I had to stand in my own bathroom and hold these fucking pregnancy tests and see that they were positive and they’re not mine !

She was starting to cry again. She mumbled something in French and went to the living room, as he followed in her step. She sat on the couch and brought her knees to her chin. He stood there, watching her.

Just leave, she said.

No, he replied. I want to talk about it. I want to make things right between us. I’m so sorry…

You want to talk ? Let’s talk then, she said sarcastically. You said you’re not having another kid, especially not with me. What was that ?

I just don’t want more kids, he said evasively. I’m in my fifties, I’ve had three daughters, I don’t want more.

I know that, she said as she rolled her eyes. And I respect that. But answer the damn question, Marshall. What did you mean about me ?!

It doesn’t matter, he pleaded. It really doesn’t. You don’t want a kid, do you ?!

Believe me, the last thing on my wish list is to have a baby, especially with you, she replied.

Then it doesn’t matter, he simply said. I was out of line, I shouldn’t have accused you and I’m sorry. Let’s go to bed, I’ll make it up to you.

Just say it, she said firmly. If you don’t, I swear to God, I’m packing a suitcase, calling a cab and booking a hotel room.

I meant addicts like us don’t get to make that kind of mistakes, Y/N, he sighed. Addicts are shitty parents. I should know.

Wow, she simply scoffed.

She was staring at him with a look of both pain and disdain. He had obviously struck a chord. She closed her eyes and sighed.

Why do you even bother with me ? She questioned. Why did you take me back ?

What do you mean ? He asked nervously. I love you, I want to be with you.

Why would you want to be with someone who you obviously think is not good enough ?! That’s just stupid, she pointed out. Why bother ?

What ?! No, Y/N, I don’t… Of course you’re good enough.

You know, I’m fine with your choices, she said with a hint of sadness. I respect that you’re done with marriage, and that you’re done with having kids. But you thinking I shouldn’t get to have children ? That fucking hurts.

I’m sorry…

STOP ! She screamed. You’re not sorry. I was ready to renounce having kids. Because I love you more than any unborn child. But do you even realize how much it hurts to know that if I had actually gotten accidentally pregnant, the person I sacrificed everything to be with would not support me ?!

He felt his heart strain a little. Seeing the pain on her face made him feel like the worst asshole in the world. To be fair, if she had actually been pregnant, he would have supported her. Sure, he thought abortion would be a better option, but he would never force her. If they had been in that situation - and thank God they weren’t - he would have stood by her side and supported her to the best of his abilities. He had simply been mean and stupid. Once again, anger had gotten the best of him.

I would have been there, he said. Of course I would have been. I love you, Y/N.

But you think I would be a shitty mom, she pointed out.

I’ve seen addiction ruin families, he explained. It certainly ruined mine, in more ways than one.

You still think of me as an addict, don’t you ? She asked on the verge of tears. No matter how long I can stay sober, you think I can’t be trusted ever again ?

I-I don’t know, he replied honestly. In my book, an addict is an addict. I still think of myself as an addict. It doesn’t mean people can’t improve or recover but… It’s tricky. But I love you. I love you more than life itself, baby.

She looked at him and simply shrugged. No matter what he said, he got the feeling that it would not matter much. He hated that angry side of himself. It wasn’t the first time that his anger got the best of him and ruined everything. He had been to therapy for his anger for years but, right when he thought he had made progress, it had to come and bite him in the ass once again.

Please talk to me, he begged. Please say something.

I have my appointment tomorrow morning, she simply said. I’ll pack my things when I get back. I will be out of here by the time you get back from work tomorrow.

#eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #recovery fanfiction #eminem x reader #eminem fluff #eminem imagine #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers x reader #Eminem angst

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fromasgardandback · 10 months

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Rocker Mayfield - Part I

Eddie Munson x Mayfield!Reader

description: Y/N Mayfield moved back to Hawkins after their father left her to be with his new family. Living in the trailer park wasn’t bad, especially with an attractive neighbor.

word count: 1.6k

warning: divorce, abandonment, crappy relationships, fluff

a/n: i will be making this a mini-series. maybe 3-4 parts?

masterlist | oneshots

Hawkins, Indiana. The dreadful town in the middle of nowhere. Farmlands, hillbillies, and rich freaks who loved to tell you they were ��popular”. I hated it here, but what else was I supposed to do? I’m in my senior year and refuse to not finish just to get a GED. I am Max Mayfield’s older sister and when she was just a toddler our parents split. Mom took Max and Dad took me, but I fought to spend the summers with Mom and Max. Every summer I did except for last summer which is how everything went down on both of our ends. Max dealing with underworld demons and me dealing with my own. I practically lived alone because of how much Dad was out. I took care of myself and learned to do it all. Until one day at the beginning of summer, right before I was about to leave for Hawkins, this young bimbo walked into our house. She looked like a hooker, a gold digger, and someone with major daddy issues. That summer I found out my father was living a whole lie apart from Max and me. He created this whole other family, and by “family” it was Dad, this bimbo, and two dogs. I won’t lie, I contemplated taking the dogs. He told me to get out and move back in with our Mom. All summer I packed everything I owned, black-mailed him into getting what I needed to take care of Max and me and left. I took the eleven-hour car trip from New York to Indiana.

I pulled through the trailer park entrance, making my way to the one mobile home that I knew too well. Putting the car in park, I got out taking in the surroundings and awful smell. From the front window, I saw Max visibly happy to see me. She ran out before I could run to her and we both fell in a tight hug.

“Y/N. I missed you. Never leave me again.” Max mumbled into my neck.

“I missed you too, kid. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon.” I smiled holding her closer.

Luckily the trailer was a two-bedroom trailer, so I shared one with Max while Mom got the other room. She worked long hours and late nights. Barely being home for Max, so being home is like I came for Max. Which I did, because if it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have returned. The place still looked the same as the last time I was in it. Brown, brown, and oh yeah, more brown. Max set up a bed for me in the corner of her room while she took the other side. Part of me felt bad that she doesn’t have her own privacy anymore, but based on the late-night calls about her nightmares and night terrors, I know she wouldn’t mind. I set my things down and turned to sit on the bed.

“One perk of Dad bribing me to leave is that I got the car. So, wanna go for a drive? Get out of here and take a breather?” I said leaning back on my hands.

“Hell yeah.” Max sighed in relief. I knew she needed someone to support her and that is who I am going to be. Her main support while Mom was out supporting us. I took Max driving down farmlands and back roads that lead to a lake. I parked and we spent the night watching the sunset before heading home.

School started within the next week or so from my arrival. The feeling of going to Hawkins High made both of us physically sick. When the first day came we regretted getting out of bed. I pulled into the parking lot and looked over at Max. Her face went from upset to straight disgust.

“It’s going to be okay. I’m here with you the entire time. Find me and I’ll be there for you. Maybe find your friends? Dustin was the sweetest to you, he can give you some kind of comfort.” I said gently squeezing her hand.

“Thanks, Y/N. I just want to get it over with and go home.” Max said, giving me a tight-lip smile. I knew this year was going to be harder on her than anyone, but if I could make some part of her day memorable, I will.

“Listen to your music. Remember to take breathers. And I love you!” I yelled at her walking towards the school and away from my car. She laughed, playfully flipping me off. I grabbed my bag, following her into school when this guy came out of nowhere and I bumped into him.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you.” I said picking up a pack of cigarettes and handing them back.

“No, it’s fine darling.” The voice said as our hands touched. That voice, I know that voice. It was familiar. I look up to see a curly, long-haired man with a metal look. Jeans, jean and leather jacket, a bandana, and a chain connected to his back pocket and belt loops. Only one kind of person in Hawkins looked like that

“Eddie?” I questioned, finally getting to see his face.

“Y/N?” He questioned back, looking at me.

“Oh my gosh, it is you.” I smiled wide. Eddie and I used to be friends when we were younger and every summer we would hang out when I came home. Calling each other wasn’t an option because of my father, so we would write one another and I kept everyone.

“It really is. Come here.” Eddie enveloped his arms around me, holding me close. I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him back.

“When did you get back? I would’ve helped you move back in.” Eddie kept looking over my face as if something happened.

“Last week, but I know you were working hard at the plant. I didn’t want to come over and bother you just to bring in heavy items.” I said walking inside with high school with him.

“You know I would do anything to help you. Don’t hesitate again.” He said seriously.

“Oh yeah? Just so you can go through my panties again like last summer?” I said standing in front of him at his locker.

“You weren’t supposed to be that fast in the bathroom.” Eddie’s face went red.

“You admit it!” I said laughing and walking away.

“No, Y/N. Get back here.” He laughed following me to our homeroom class.

A few months passed and it was late fall. Fall in Hawkins was similar to what a New England falls resembles. Beautiful colored leaves, colder weather, and a vibe of dark academia. Eddie and I skipped the last class which was just a Study Hall and headed to his secret picnic table in the forest. We’ve been talking about anything and everything. More than we could write in our letters.

“It wasn’t my ideal situation to come back home to basically become a mother figure to my younger sister or be her keeper, but she’s my best friend. I love that girl with everything in me.” I smiled thinking about Max. “I’d do anything for her.”

“That’s admirable. I feel the same way about Wayne.” Eddie said, leaning over the table on his elbows.

“I haven’t seen Wayne since we were kids. How has he been?” I asked following suit and leaning my elbows on the table. His eyes sparkled at the mention of his beloved uncle.

“He’s doing good. They switched him to the night shift down at the plant, but other than being tired, he’s doing good. I can’t believe you remembered our last conversation about him.” Eddie said looking at me. Just looking into his eyes made me weak.

“Of course, I did, Eddie. I care about you and Wayne so much. You’re very close to me so I’m going to pay attention to what you say. Even if you ramble on about how “Henderson” is annoying you about winning the last game.” I laughed, smiling at him.

“It was valid!” Eddie was very enthusiastic about his Dungeons and Dragons meetings. “Do you still listen to rock music?” He asked playing with his rings.

“I do and some metal. The ones you recommended. I really like Metallica.” I smiled while looking at him wearing a shit-eatin’ grin knowing I paid attention to his requests. “You know I have kept every single one of our letters.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I love that we started that at a young age. It’s very endearing. I mean who would’ve pegged you for the kind of guy to write letters to his childhood best friend while being the town’s metalhead freak, but because he plays a fantasy game.” I looked him in the eyes again.

“Don’t forget to mention satanic cultists too.” He chuckled. “I’ve kept all of mine too. Wayne tells me it's because I’m in love with you.” He blushed saying those words.

“You? In love with me?” I chuckled. That’s funny because it’s not true. Eddie wasn’t in love with me, he’s my friend.

“What if he’s not wrong? Would it be so bad if I was?” Eddie leaned over the table again, this time getting closer.

“No,” I gulped. “Would it be bad if I said I am too?” He’s showing the signals. Either show mine too and get rejected or finally be able to be in love with Eddie. My hands were shaking from this interaction. I didn’t get many in New York. The girls were prettier and the guys weren't Eddie.

“No, darling. It’d be great, so I can do this.” Eddie closed the gap between us and kissed me. I froze for a quick second, letting my brain register what was happening. I raised my hand to hold his face and kissed him back.

#sarah's specials #eddie munson #eddie munson x you #eddie stranger things #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson x mayfield!reader #eddie munson headcanons #stranger things 4 #stranger things headcanons #stranger things x reader #stranger things #wayne munson #max mayfield #max mayfeild x reader #max mayfield x sister!reader #dustin henderson

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writersmilex · 1 year

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My Only Friend

Anonymous asked: hi smilex nice to see you again, can i ask a scenario where hank and reader knew each other before hank became well... a murderer? basically reader was hank's only friend and they were very close, over time hank begins to have a crush on reader but he couldn't confess until the fateful day came with the boombox accident and from there they parted ways but after years they meet again

___ Nice to See you too... ‘I don’t know who you are’ Here is the request, Tumblr is always screwing me over one way or other and now I can’t respond to my asks. Here it is!

___

Hank Wimbleton X Fem | Reader

Summary: Just before the crimson skies, Hank had a friend. You were the only friend he had at the time. _____________________________________

(Art Belongs to Rightful Owner)

"It sounds like fun, you should try it." Your eyes gleam with intrigue as you point at the flyer for a volleyball tournament. Hank crosses his arms and huffs in annoyance. "I don't want to." He growls, by this time Hank's crappy moods hardly threaten you. "You want more friends, right?" You reason with the stoic man beside you. He doesn't answer and looks away from you. Yeah... He does want more friends, but he just doesn't know how. He has an intimidating stature, and stoic expression acts rather aggressively at times and making friends difficult for someone like him.

"Tell you what, we go together." You say, taking a pen from a string to write your name neatly on the flyer. "(Y/n)..." Hank tries to reason, but he knows there is no point in reasoning with you. "Fine..." He agrees and takes the pen from you to write down his own name, right under yours. You look at Hank and beam at him, the brightest gaze he has ever seen, it could blind him if your face produced light like that. "Awesome!" You laugh with glee, Hank just huffs in annoyance once again. "Whatever..." He grumbles. He feels you tug on his arm. "I'm thirsty, come on let's get a drink." You're not strong enough to pull Hank out of balance, but that will change soon as you have been working out lately. Hank follows along with everything you want to do. He has nothing better to do anyway. And you're always so hyper and like to do things that end up being very fun for him always. Even though he will never admit it out loud, he doesn't have to because you always seem to be ideally in tune with his mood every time. ~~~~ The volleyball tournament was indeed fun, doesn't matter if you were good at it or not. You personally thought you did well. You noticed Hank acting a little looser after the games, he had fun as well. If you squint you can see him smiling slightly. "See? What did I tell you?" You ask playfully, patting your friend on his arm. Hank lets out a low chuckle, "It was alright..." He replies that means he had fun. His response only makes you gleam brighter. You cheer with a little jump, "See? I knew it would be fun!" You skip alongside your stoic friend. His hands are shoved deep into his pockets, as he slanders along with whatever you want to do. You're the best at finding fun things to do in his opinion. ~~~~ Hank started to feel strange around you for reasons that are still unclear to him. Seeing you happy made him happy, he did everything just to please you, he'd even do murder for you if you asked. Anything... Anything to make you happy. That smile of yours makes his day brighter. As far as he knows his life is very mediocre, and you make it better. He wants to see you every day to bring colour to his grey world. There is a place, Hank's favourite place in the park where he can find some peace. By the tree, it is a very serene place for him, ever since he was little he went there to be alone, as none of the other kids wanted to play with him back then. He didn't have friends back then, but now he has! He has you! His best friend and his only friend. He almost feels protective of you, and you don't have any enemies whatsoever! Perhaps some people find your bright and bubbly nature annoying, but that's normal he assumes. You can't get everyone on earth to like and respect you, no matter what you do. But he likes you but isn't really sure how he could show you that. So, he's going to show you his favourite place. "Are we there yet?" You ask for the fifth time. "We're really almost there," Hank repeats for the fifth time. You don't reply this time, merely holding your own hands behind your back as you trail behind Hank. You're usually the one with the plans for fun activities, and how he's the one with an idea and you don't want to ruin this for him. So you'll go with everything he wants now, just to make your friend happy. "This is a really nice place though, very tranquil." Your comment on the grassy fields of the park, There are not as many trees around as he remembered from when he was little, but his favourite tree is still the in the same place as it should be. "The quietness helps me think," Hank explains as he comes to a stop by the tree. "I can imagine that," you reply and keep looking around the fields. The park is rather crowded today, many people around and you saw one guy in the distance walking around with a boombox. "I like to just stand here and enjoy the silence... If I can..." Hank explains as he takes a stance, crossing his arms. He gives the random guy with the boombox a side glare. Hank never like that genre of music anyway, not to mention that it's rather distressing, such loud music in a place that's supposed to be peaceful. "I'm really thirsty, I'm getting a drink by the bakery. Do you want anything?" You ask your friend as you point in the general direction to the bakery that is right outside of the park's fields. "Just a soda." Hank requests with a dismissive wave of the hand. You nod and smile at your friend and skip off to get drinks. ~~~~ Hank waits for you to return, feeling a little tense at the loud music getting closer to him. The boombox guy is really getting on his nerves by now. Destroying his zen moment with that obnoxious music. It's clear that the boombox guy is not stopping on his own, so Hank has to do something about it himself. He walks around the tree and approaches the guy, "Hey, could you turn it down?" He asks as politely as he could. But instead is met with a rough push that causes him to stumble and lose his balance, falling on the grass. "This is a public place, I can do what I want!" The guy says matter-of-factly. Now Hank is angered enough to get physical with this guy, and he does. It was madness that day... ~~~~ Hank hasn't seen you since that fateful day with the boombox, it feels like he lost a piece of himself, which he might as well has. Nothing has been the same since that day... a day he curses still. The crimson sky doesn't change how he is feeling, as he looks over a war-torn city with very little left from the rooftop of the building where he and his comrades have taken shelter, a light breeze brushes by. But a part of him also wishes he never sees you again, you might think he's a monster. And he would agree with you if you did think that. His only friend that has been missing for what feels like years. He has kept you a secret from his comrades in the force, even Doc is not aware of your existence. Your memory is only his to cherish closely to what the last pinch of innocence remains in the endless void that he calls a heart. He still misses you so dearly, even when he can hardly remember your face. He is really conflicted about what he is feeling: He wants you back, but he doesn't. If he could meet you now, everything would change again. What if you weren't even alive? That thought saddens him. If you were out there somewhere, he hopes that you can survive. And meet him again one day. _____________________________________

There, I hope this is something that you want. It's very light-hearted, but it feels kind of bland, to be honest.

Anyway, there is nothing else much I think I could add to this.

Thanks for reading.❤️

- Smilex🙂

#madness combat #madness combat x reader #madness combat reader insert #x reader #reader #imagines #hank j. wimbleton #madcom hank #requested

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babiebom · 6 months

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Between a Rock and a Hard Place(i)

A/N: literally the premise of this fic took over my daydream and I had to write it. Will not be as good as my daydream was because the dialogue my brain came up with made me cry and I cannot for the life of me remember it so this is second best<3

Tw: cursing, murder, kidnapping,physical abuse, pregnancy, mental abuse, verbal abuse, gore, blood, Stockholm syndrome, racism/slurs

Wc:1.8k

Next Masterlist

It’s easy to fall into traps when you can barely see in front of you. And it’s easy to see just how obvious those traps were when you look back. To Evangeline the bright red flags that were waving in her face had to be transparent with the way she stared at the man in front of her. She had always been the confident type, her beauty was something that couldn’t be questioned, and everyone around her knew it. So when men flirted or chatted her up, she reciprocated, always making it known that they had no chance of bedding her. She was flirty, yes, but not so loose that she would sleep around with just any guy that sent a poorly executed wink her way.

That is, until him. Johnny Slaughter was one of the most gorgeous men she had ever seen. The very sight of a man that women in the south dreamed of when they wanted to have a wet dream. His charm, and looks meant that her confidence stood no chance against him and what he wanted. And at that moment, what he wanted was her. The more he flirted with her, the more she could feel herself falling into his web, and for some reason no alarm bells went off in her head. Or maybe they did and she just mistook them for wedding bells.

She slept with him that very first day, let him get to know her in every meaning of the word. And he was sweet, those first couple of weeks. Took her out on dates, let her meet his weird family, told her that she was the one he wanted to be with for the rest of his life.

Until he convinced her to move in. Sweet words, golden promises, a cheap ring that made her fall deeper for the Texan man without any other thought. It didn’t take too much longer after that for Johnny to show his true colors.

Lashing out, throwing things. It scared her the first time he took a vase from the shelf and flung it into the wall across the room. Evangeline couldn’t help but scream at how quickly he moved. But he still didn’t touch her, not then. He apologized for his actions, said he just got upset and didn’t know what to do about it. She forgave him after he peppered her tear stained face with kisses, figuring that everyone had their quirks. She grew up with a dad that was similar; he punched holes in the walls and smashed things when angry. He never put his hands on her mother, and that’s what she clung on to every time that Johnny got upset, she prayed he would be like her father and kept his hands off her.

Her prayers went unanswered. One day the man grabbed her instead of an object that he could break, and he threw her into the wall. He screams and screams, standing over her with a red face and spit flying out of his mouth. She doesn’t even remember what she did to make him upset, so she screams back at him, cursing his name and making a scene that now looking back she wished she had that same personality that had been lost.

She left after that, packing up her stuff and moving into a crappy little apartment that she could afford on her own. It took Johnny three weeks to come and apologize, reeling her in with honey dipped words and promises that he spent the three weeks they spent apart working on himself. Again, ignoring the red flags, she believed him and allowed herself to reenter a relationship with him. It was as if they had restarted to the beginning of their relationship when everything was hidden behind rose colored glasses. Happy with her life, she fell deeper for the man that somehow proved that he could change even though an entire month hadn’t passed.

She ignored the people whispering their doubts in her ear, moving faster than she had in her relationship with him than she did before. They had already been together for a while, right? They didn’t need to slow down; they were obviously on the right track. He convinces her to move in together again, this time into his family’s home.

She hated living with the Sawyers, their weird diet and secrecy put her off from wanting to maintain an actual relationship with them. She begged Johnny to move out into their own place, or at least with his mother, but he refused. His mother had left somewhere and since she didn’t like Evangeline, and wasn't supportive of their relationship, the two were not allowed to live together in her house.

Soon, she found out exactly why he had hid his family from her before. A girl had burst into the room she shared with Johnny, bloody with a crazed look in her eyes. She grabbed Evangeline roughly, screaming and swinging at her, going on about her friends being murdered and it being the fault of this family or something. Evangeline couldn’t do anything but scream, taken by surprise and unable to fight against pure adrenaline.

She kicks the girl and screams, confused as Nubbins bursts into the room laughing loudly. “Found ‘er!” He yelled down to the family below. When Johnny comes in he rips the girl away from Evangeline, unlike Nubbins who was amused with what was happening. The girl is taken out of the room by Nubbins and Johnny as Evangeline lies there on the ground, bruised and scratched, bleeding from the cuts she received.

It took a week for her to ask, and still he didn’t answer totally, not until she wandered into the basement and found Bubba cutting up someone as if they were an animal he had slaughtered. She threw up loudly, causing Bubba to spin around and panic that she was in the room. Everything after this just got worse.

Johnny reverted back to being abusive now that he had nothing to hide. Didn’t slowly escalate like last time, just went straight into beating Evangeline. It was worse than before, choking her until she passed out, punching her until her eyes were puffy. All the while he laughed and taunted her, that she couldn’t break up with him now, he owned her now, they could never let her go because of what she’s seen. It’s either submit or die.

It’s months of this, a year of this. Of being beaten and taunted and manipulated. They didn’t allow her to leave, and because she willingly moved in with him no one would report her as missing. Her friends experienced her disappearing before, and so has her family, last time she was in a relationship with him.

Things start to look up when she starts throwing up, when she starts showing signs of pregnancy. It’s not surprising in the least to her, unable to access birth control and Johnny’s hatred of using condoms when plowing into her. She’s surprised that it took this long for her to get knocked up by him. And as her pregnancy progresses every time she looks at her face in the mirror she is disappointed at the person she sees.

It takes being beaten by him two more times while she’s carrying his child that she realizes that in the course of this relationship she has changed completely. Gone is the girl that could laugh freely, that was confident and unwavering. Johnny had stripped her of her personality and crushed her down into whoever he wanted her to be. So she starts planning, using the tiny bit of determination she had left, she needed to better herself if she’s going to be a parent. No one wants to raise their child in this type of environment.

Her plan goes into motion quicker than she expects with the return of Johnny’s mother. The woman at first is angry that he managed to get Evangeline pregnant, saying she doesn’t want a grandchild that is half negro because he decided to fuck some coon. Then as time passes the woman comes around to being happy that she was getting a grandchild and started being the monster-in-law from hell. Every day is spent with Nancy telling Evangeline just how happy she’s going to be when the baby is born and old enough for them to get rid of her. That Johnny will no longer need her after the baby is born because when her body changes the man will be disgusted with her and won’t want to stick his dick in her anymore. That they’ll easily get rid of her and her baby will be raised by Nancy herself, and there’s nothing Evangeline can do about it because Johnny will always side with his mother, and will cut out her tongue faster than she can disrespect Nancy in any way.

Luckily the whole stupid family trusts her to cook, and because Sissy hadn’t kept her gardening secrets an actual secret, Evangeline knows exactly how to knock out the entire house. It isn’t uncommon for her to refuse to eat, and since Nancy isn’t living in the Sawyer house she doesn’t have anyone looking over her shoulder, everyone believing that she was completely broken. When everyone falls asleep she takes off into the night, driving away in her car that had gone unused for a while.

She stops at her mothers house, crying that she was leaving and needed money to get away. Her mother helps, happy enough to help her get away from the guy the entire family had hated from the beginning. Letting her pack clothes, her documents and other things and letting her get away while the moon is still high in the sky.

This is how she finds herself now, on a train to Florida with no way to find her. As the train pulls away, she can feel herself shed so much tension that she feels almost weightless. As far as her eyes can see, no one around her recognizes her, and as far as she knows the only person that knows that she’s leaving is her mother, and to be careful she doesn’t even tell her mother where she’s going, having decided the second she got to the train station.

Roseville, Florida is similar to Texas with the heat. The familiar feel of the sun in the sky makes her feel better, though she hates the heat it’s what she’s used to and no one would think that she didn’t go across the country when in reality she just went a couple states over. The little house that she is renting is a little expensive, a couple of blocks away from a beach and a little diner, close to a bus stop and a grocery store. She feels herself growing in hope, the thought of a new life makes her want to scream out in joy.

Johnny didn’t care enough to find her, that’s what she knows for sure, and so I’m her mind there is nothing that can go wrong now. She’s safe, happy, and expecting a baby in six more months. Things are finally looking up.

#texas chainsaw massacre fic #Texas chainsaw massacre #texas chainsaw massacre game #texas chainsaw game #Tcm #tcm game #tcm game fic #tcm johnny #johnny tcm #johnny slaughter #johnny sawyer #dead by daylight #dbd #dead by daylight ghostface #dbd ghostface #the ghostface #danny johnson #jed olsen #danny jed olsen johnson

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brekker-by-brekkerr · 2 years

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I don’t understand why they couldn’t have left Portwell as a cute high school relationship where they're unfortunately going two different directions, realize that together, communicate about their future, and come to a respectful breakup where they’ll have their good memories, and they’ll always care about each other in some way. That’s more consistent with these characters, it respects the shippers and the characters, and it’s something that happens in real life. I still think with the Portwell we saw in season 2 they could have worked out (like, they’ve always been in somewhat different places, like him having his future planned out and hers always being up in the air as discussed in the couch scene, but they still understood each other and connected, that’s part of why they work so well), but if the writers needed to break them up, that would at least be better than destroying them and making them out of character.

Seriously, why did the writers act like Portwell was bad and would never work? And now, acting like Gina didn’t have feelings for EJ. I feel like I’m being gaslit as a viewer. How can you spend all of season 2 making me not want to ship R*na, pouring everything into making Portwell one of the best relationships ever, give two characters incredible growth, and then try to backtrack and act like none of that happened. When I saw the way these characters looked at each other and acted around each other. This is bad writing, plain and simple.

It’s not just a matter of liking one ship more than the other. If R*na was handled better, if they found a way to handle Portwell respectfully in a way that made sense, I could have been on board. Imagine if they had let Portwell unfold more like Jack and Gina’s airport episode, where they’re cute and fun but at the end of the day Ricky is the one she really feels things for. Because the way they wrote Portwell, it feels real and important and they’re so clearly in love and happy together. It’s not just this cute little midgame ship, they have a connection like I’ve never seen. They fake date, they scheme together, they do so much for each other and they have so much effort put into their relationship only to have it torn apart and treated like it was never important.

Also, once again, EJ has fallen in love with a girl and she doesn’t love him back (Gina was definitely in love with him too but whatever the writers want to gaslight us into believing I guess. Which is so dumb because you can love more than one person in your life. Why did they feel the need to completely destroy every bit of Portwell after working so hard to make us ship them). Pointing this out isn’t prioritizing EJ in the relationship, it’s pointing out the crappy writing. Why are we doing this again. I think the writers must hate EJ or something because he never gets serious songs, of the main four he has the least time spent on him (other than this season with Nini being gone), and the writing this season for him was just awful.

And this sucks for Gina because she’s having to put in the emotional work again with Ricky, which I discussed in this post so I won’t get into again. Do they hate Gina too? She wanted the guy who shows up, and Ricky hasn’t really done that yet, not in a meaningful way because it was just him hanging out with Gina because he didn’t have any responsibilities while the only reason EJ wasn’t “showing up” for her like normal this season was the pressure on him, and he still found ways to encourage her and make sweet gestures like picking her flowers. Ricky should be putting in so much more work.

It’s sad for so many reasons but in large part because it’s going to be hard to watch the show from here with how all the relationships were handled. I wish I could love R*na and ignore the bad writing, but I can’t. And they could have been such a cute couple.

#portwell #ej x gina #gina x ej #ej caswell #gina porter #hsmtmts #hsmtmts spoilers #hsmtmts season 3 #hsmtmts 3 #high school musical the series #high school musical the musical the series #anti rina

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chiyeko-kurea · 19 days

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Miscarriages (tw: vent)

I never really believed in spirits or reading into someone’s mind or anything. I mean, for some people, you can see in their eyes that their soul’s broken but I never believed to be a part of them.

One day, at was at the « microkinesiologist », a doctor my mother insisted to take me to. It sounded like a crappy scam, but my mother is the kind to really believe this sort of stuff and was ready to pay a scammer if it even gave us a tiny hope to relieve my pain. I was lying down on the table, my mother sitting next to me, this woman examining my knees, and I remember already feeling uncomfortable with the contact. She touched my knees, turned to my mom and said a year, i don’t remember which one, and asked what happened that time. My mother froze, and told she had a miscarriage. It was a few years before I was born, and my mother never told me about it, I heard it from my sister when I was young. She didn’t specify to the doctor she actually had several miscarriages all the following years, until I finally came, yet the doctor nodded and said something, again I don’t remember exactly what, but she just somehow knew. And she told my mother, like i wasn’t right there under her fingertips, « you can tell her to let go of that. »

I have no idea how she knew that i felt guilty for all of them, the dead kids before me, and how i feel unworthy of being the one born, and how i sometimes wonder how they were named, and if my parents would have been happier if another kid before me was born instead of me. The twisted, bad-tempered, mean and ill little me.

Maybe one of them would have been a lovely little girl, a ray of sunshine and health, talented in science and naturally destined to be a doctor, and would’ve filled my parents with happiness even in their darkest days.

And never, ever would’ve made them cry like I do.

And instead, here’s me, and I wonder if my parents did the right thing to keep trying to have a second kid, or if i am the living proof that sometimes giving up is better.

Sometimes I feel like I have to live up to them. The fetuses. Which is dumb, because you can never outdo someone who never existed based of what they maybe could have done. Their imaginary successes have literally no limitation inside my mind and no matter how hard I try, I always think « maybe they would have done it better ».

I have to be worthy, worthier than them. And sometimes, the truth is that I am jealous of these dead bloody fetuses.

I absolutely want to be a doctor, but deep down I know that even if I didn’t want to, I’d still choose that path because it makes my parents proud in a way they don’t really want to admit and maybe one of the dead fetuses would’ve become a doctor. In the same way, I don’t really know if I want kids and I’m most definitely sure my body can’t handle it because it can’t even handle itself, but maybe one of the dead fetuses would’ve had kids. And in the same way, I taste food I know I won’t like because my parents want me to and because maybe one of the dead fetuses would’ve always tasted everything. And in the same way, I go drive with my dad even when it fucking scares me, because maybe one of the dead fetuses would’ve always happily say yes to drive when he offers.

I know it’s stupid, it doesn’t matter, I should stop comparing myself to other versions of me that could have been born before and stop competing with them, and at least I get credit for actually surviving and living when these fetuses didn’t, right? But still I feel guilty, because I tried to kill myself several times, and even if I never actually managed to, I fucking tried. And oh, how freaking cruelly ironic would that be, the child who finally lives, ends up dead once again, and they lose it to its own hands. And they just keep losing children.

And my mom wouldn’t be able to bear the guilt and my dad would lose another child he poured his soul into.

And « all your parents want is for you to be happy » but then again, I feel guilty, because I not even am. I can’t even give that to them.

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tonguetyd · 2 months

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Hiiiii! I only seeing you reblogged the ask game as well, hope i'm not terribly late. 🫂💖 Also sorry if i'm repeating any question, but may i:

39, Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? 123, What colour are your towels? 140, Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

Julie Andrew’s voice: a queen is never late, everyone else is simply early

39, Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Honestly both! I guess I slightly prefer behind it, but more like in a “I am taking this selfie of all of us” kinda way. It’s taken a very long time for me to like how I look in photos but now that I like it, I’m very happy getting in frame!

123, What colour are your towels?

Tan and grey (she’s boring). I do have one teal one from college that’s still kicking but it’s a kinda crappy one tbh, barely holds any water at all

140, Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

Ok I happen to have my Bag-O-Sentimental Things near my bed today which has my “You Are OK - Finding Your Way When Life Doesn’t Feel OK” album release book from The Maine and Evan Lucy.

“But The Maine have made peace with their choice, maintaining they’d rather be at the level they are and happy than at the next level and unhappy with how they got there.”

Which HI SORRY IM DRIFT AND IM GONNA TAKE THIS AS A MOMENT TO RAMBLE ABOUT A BAND CALLED THE MAINE! Levynn I am so sorry I’m taking your ask and going on a crazy tangent - thank you very very much you are very sweet

This is literally everything I love about this band in a nutshell bc 1) this is literally a book they put out with their 7th record You Are OK which like. Need more be said on that album title? And they were just like “hey we not only want to do this record but we want to show you our headspace while we were writing it and let you know we see you and this is how we got here.”

2) the reason they can be like “fuck it lets also do a book” is because they have been completely 100% independent since 2011 (cough fuck Warner Bros cough) and it ALLOWS them to have the mindset Evan mentions. They DID the big label and the one hit in 2008. They could have probably been playing arenas and getting radio play on the alt stations long before now, but they aren’t. Which brings me to 3) because they want to do things authentically and not just churn out money.

This is the band that did a FOR FREE TOUR. AN ENTIRE TOUR!! WHERE YOUR TICKET WAS FREE. JUST SHOW UP. They *CALL YOU* when you pre order their record just to say thanks (and sometimes to prank you but that’s a story for another time #BigStimmyEnergy)

They hop down off stage right after the gig and take photos with as many people as they can. I’ve met these guys more times than I could accurately count. My cousins thought I was dating Jared the guitarist cuz I had him in so many of my profile pics on Facebook 😂 I have NEVER done a paid m&g for TM because their whole THING is “we want to meet you too. Come talk to us.” They don’t HAVE m&g, they have Pat the drummer slinging merch or the post-show hangs or walking the line while everyone is queuing. I think it’s harder to NOT meet TM than to actually meet them 😂

They make it SO OBVIOUS that they care and want to have success in the industry yes, but not at the expense of us. And that is so incredibly rare. I never question if the guys in TM are good people - I sometimes question if they think their shit through enough and definitely know they stumble like everyone. But I never question their intentions. Or where their hearts are.

They’d rather be where they are and happy than the next big thing.

I haven’t read through this thing in a while and honestly kinda forgot I had it, so thank you very much for letting me find it again (and sorry for gushing but. They are my faves. band1. Forever.)

#this turned into a love letter to my favorite band sorry #also it’s almost 3am ok gniiiiite #the maine #<< fuck it main tag woe drift rambles be upon ye #ask game #answered asks #a-s-levynn

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awesomefringey · 2 years

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Dude I used to respect Olivia. This whole past year and a half has actually made me sad because she was such solid representation for women (so I believed). I was happy when the pictures of O and H came out from the wedding. I fell for it! But now - wowwwww. Her actions have been inexcusable. And I feel like she truly looks down on people and especially Harry’s fans. She thinks she’s bucking conventions by not being with her kids or sleeping with someone younger so she can go on talk shows and be like, “it’s soooo hard being a woman, right? I’m such a feminist and I’m exposing all this misogyny.” It’s kind of exactly what men roll their eyes about and why the public doesn’t always believe women. It’s just…so transparent.

Like Olivia - you’re not going against convention. You’re not proving some big point about women and misogyny. You don’t have the truth on your side to be able to pull off that kind of ruse.

You are patriarchy in a dress. And it makes me sick. People compare her to like David O Russell but the difference is that guy isn’t trying to nominate himself as the queen of feminism. She’s crafted an image that upon further scrutiny that she has invited in — does not hold up.

This is her own fault. Misogyny can’t be blamed for everything. Sometimes a woman just sucks and is employing all the same crappy tactics as many before her. Sidling up close to the status quo and saying the right things but acting in their own self-interest time and again.

I, 100% co-sign this. 💋

#ask #holivia #she’s toxic hollywood in disguise of a fake feminist

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stormkobra-5 · 2 years

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Can i request for marc/steven/jake (it can be just one of them thats up to you) comforting y/n after having a bad day and shutting down for them to comfort them and it be pure fluff Could y/n also be gender neutral pls thank you

Awww, of course you can nonnie! I'll give you all three!

Steven: If you've had a bad day, Steven is 100% there for you at once. He drops everything. Sometimes quite literally. "You alright, darling?" It's cuddles, massages, whispered nothings and your comfort comes above all else. Steven will get you your favorite food if you want it. Put on your favorite show. Make you tea or hot chocolate. This boy will cuddle you senseless.

Marc: Where Steven cuddles you, Marc doesn’t feel he does as well in that department. So he comforts you in another way: he grabs his guitar (yes he has one) and serenades you unexpectedly. Ignoring your surprise, Marc sings for you in English and Spanish, occasionally pausing for a few minutes so he doesn’t destroy his vocal chords— and in those breaks he’ll pull you into his lap, with the guitar on both of you, and will show you the ropes, trying to get your mind off whatever it is that made you upset.

Jake: The way he sees it, his sole purpose in existing is to protect you (along with Marc and Steven). So if you’re upset, his first order of business is murder (not really, because Steven always talks him out of it). His second order of business? Making you laugh. He’ll make crappy jokes, puns, and tickle you until you can’t breathe— then he’ll make you some good ol’ tacos, because you’re not telling me the man can’t cook. Then he’ll cuddle with you.

Something all the boys do, though, is they always ensure that they tell you how loved you are, how happy they are to have you in their lives. They love you more than anything and they’ll probably get annoying with how much they say it if you’re upset.

———

I hope you like it anon! I’m sorry it took me so long to get to this but I wish you all the good days in the world!

#moon knight #steven grant #marc spector #jake lockley #steven grant x reader #marc spector x reader #jake lockley x reader #moon boys headcanon #stormkobra 5 answers

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andthevillainshallrises · 1 year

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the missing hunter part 3

Winchesters x reader // dean x reader // Supernatural x f!reader

summary: Dean and Sam found y/n exhausted and wounded in a motel room and brought her back to Bobby’s place. Now she doesn’t want to be there, she doesn’t want to confront her past and those people who completely forgot about her– she’s sure of that, because otherwise why would they never call her? why would they never visit her?

previously: part 1 part 2

(find me on ao3 under the name sadgirldreams11)

note: ahhh hello there! i'm really happy that the two first parts are getting so much love!! <3 thank you for your feedback :) don't forget that interacting with the fic is the best way to let the author know that their work is good enough ;) also so sorry this part is weird and short but i didn't really know what to write haha hopefuly inspiration come again for the next parts!

chapter 3

Dean and Sam knew exactly who y/n was right when they saw her in the motel room, because how could they forget the only girl they played with when they were little and stayed at Bobby’s place? How could they forget the girl to whom they would give a phone call from a crappy motel room when they were bored of watching tv and eating the same food John usually left behind before going on a hunt on his own? How could they?

Truth is, Dean wasn’t as close to y/n as he was with his brother because, well she was a she, and he never had to deal with little girls before, he was only used to his little brother always annoyingly complaining about the food and the boredom of doing nothing. But slowly and surely the three of them grew quite close despite the distance.

Y/n had realized her friends were not really happy with their situation and had dared to ask, just once, to Bobby about having the boys stay more often, as he was practically their uncle or so. But the man just scoffed the thought away and never said a word about it again. Y/n did the same. But she never truly forgot. John was the one making the decisions for his sons.

Then the boys started to go to school more regularly, sure it was a different one every two months but it was one of the reasons they had slowly stopped to call y/n. Maybe they didn’t do it on purpose, they might have not even realized it at the time. And the three of them would grow-up apart, each one with its view on life, each one with their goals. each one with their feelings and fears and hopes. but y/n never forgot them, and sometimes she wanted to call them but she lacked the confidence to do it. She thought she was annoying, as the only girl the brothers had been friends with, surely they must think of her as an annoying kid. they must only talk to her out of pity.

So she faded away, hidden in the shadows of her own mind.

Later, y/n had started to join Bobby on hunts, at least at the beginning she only helped him in the library doing research. He considered she wasn’t old enough and needed more training. Then when she was ready and Bobby couldn’t take her puppy eyes look anymore, he finally allowed her to join him. Even though he wouldn’t admit it anytime soon, y/n was good at hunting things. So they started to hunt together more and more over the years to the point y/n didn’t even go to school anymore, since she needed to go from states to states and missing too many days of school would raise suspicions.

It was like she had been made for this kind of life; she never complained, never got scared, each hunt was a success and slowly the other hunters started to appreciate her work and welcomed her fully into their big family.

Bobby didn’t legally adopt the young girl, but it was as if, since they’d spent most of their time together. Over the years y/n noticed that John would come by less and less, and when he did, she was never there in time, often on supply run or investigating something. It started to drive her crazy how John seemed to keep his boys away from her, as if she was a demon herself who would kill them all. But when that feeling made its way to her core and the flow of thoughts started to spill in her head like blooming flowers she was quick to shut that door and drown herself numb. She didn’t want to have to deal with such things as feelings and emotions, because she knew feeling so deeply would never bring any good to her. It would only harm her and the people she cared about.

and enough people had been hurt already.

The years passed and y/n grew up, not totally forgetting what brought her to this line of work– hell, she could barely call what she did a job since she never really got paid. She never totally forgot her messed up childhood and all the lessons she had learnt along the road. Neither did she forgot the two boys she used to play with when they were little and call late at night when they were bored. But as she drowned herself in research and hunts as did the brothers, she noticed their relationship slowly but seemingly started to falter. They didn’t really communicate anymore, sometimes when she was at Bobby’s she would scan the place searching for some evidence the boys went by. Maybe she was searching for evidence they were alive, flesh and bones, and not a product of her imagination.

maybe she was secretly hoping they’d left a message, or asked Bobby about her. But the old man never said anything.

He never really talked about them, and she would rarely ask how they were doing. too shy. It seemed like everybody was avoiding each other and it was odd. Y/n didn’t know what could have happened. Life happened.

One day though, she learned by Bobby that Sam had dropped out of the business and had started going to university. It was not a total surprise to y/n, as she remembered how the young boy had seemed bored everytime he had to do research for his father and brother when they would dump him at Bobby’s or leave him alone in a motel.

Frankly she was more concerned about Dean, who was always following his dad’s orders no matter what, like a lost puppy looking toward its jailer with the hopes that one day he would be seen and appreciated. Y/n had the feeling that this day would never come. seemed like the puppy would grow cold and distant.

She didn’t know when, or why, but Sam got back in business and started to hunt again with his brother. She suspected John might’ve been the why. and she hated it. The boy only wanted a normal life, she couldn’t hate him for that; he never knew his mother, the loss and grief was more on Dean’s shoulders since John had gone a little unstable mentally– if y/n was being honest, and he’s been completely oblivious to how his eldest son could feel toward the tragic events.

So now, staring at the mantle of the fireplace where yellowed pictures sitted, their frames dusty with the years, her mind froze. As if she was rebooting her brain, her body wouldn’t move and her eyes wouldn’t blink. The only constant reminder that she was still alive was her breathing. Maybe a bit too slow.

Bobby took a few steps and approached y/n’s back, the floorboard cracking, he knew already but still picked over her shoulders to take a look at what she was staring at. A shuddering breath escaped him.

“y/n,” he started but cut himself before saying anything he would regret later.

She turned around and met his gaze, flickers of sunlight filtering through the window reflecting in her eyes, she didn’t say a word. her expression was unreadable, as per usual.

Bobby was used to not being able to tell how his protégée felt or what were her thoughts. She kept some kind of mask on her face at all times, it seemed like she was keeping her thoughts and emotions in check all the time. what was she scared of?

Dean cleared his throat, the empty bottle of beer abandoned on the counter in the kitchen and it seemed like he was also wearing a mask. but one of mecontentement, one that was easily readable. Y/n glanced toward him and spotted Sam hovering near his brother, almost waiting for the storm to strike. Y/n tensed up and bit her lower lips.

“Go ahead,” Dean nodded from y/n to Bobby, motioning for her to speak, “tell him what happened.” She gulped down but her mouth was dry with anticipation. She didn’t want to go through it again. enough. She just wanted to pass out in bed and sleep for hours. “please, i’m tired.” she said almost in a whisper, and Bobby looked at Dean who seemed on the brink of exploding. why was he so angry?

y/n gaze never left Dean’s as if in a staring contest. Bobby could tell the tension building up in the room.

Dean spoke without breaking eye contact, but directing his words to Bobby, “i’ll tell you what happened.” his chest heaved as he took a deep breath, “that smartass right here thought it would be fine to take a vampire by herself, with no backup and no one knowing where she was. She thought the vampire was alone. And the worst,” his tone was more and more heavy with anger at each word he was spitting out, “the worst, is that she got caught.”

Bobby couldn’t help the hiss of disapproval escaping his lips. He shook his head and turned from Dean to y/n but she was still looking at the eldest brother, as if her stare could make him shut up.

“Dean”, Sam tried to calm down his brother but it was useless, “what? Oh right! someone else was captured so you got help and nailed it.” He exaggeratedly imitated quotation marks emphasizing the last two words. Y/n couldn't breath, her lungs felt as though they were shutting down on themselves, cutting all the oxygen her body needed. She felt numb and so stupid. Stupid like a child caught doing something bad with no excuses.

But she had an excuse. She had reasons. That's what she thought.

She opened her mouth to say something but Sam's look of pity stopped her short.

“Y/n”, but before Bobby could finish his sentence he was cut short by an angry and exhausted young girl who was tired of being left behind, tired of being told what she should and shouldn’t do.

“what?” she turned her face to look at him, “what?” her facial expression was distorted and angry, so angry Bobby almost took a step back. He never saw her like that. Never. she is almost blaring her teeth like a mad dog ready to attack. And nobody moves.

Dean’s face is still as the surface of a lake but his brow is still furrowed.

“Hey, y/n calm down okay. we ju-”

“Don’t tell me to calm down Sam! You don’t fucking know me.” harsh words she almost immediately regretted to speak.

“ ‘course I know you,” his anxious brow relaxed a bit as he tried to smile, “you’re y/n, we used to hang out and make phone calls.”

And that is enough for her face to fall, like the petal of the flowers after a brisk. Her skin becomes cold and hot at the same time, she doesn’t know what to think, what to say.

He remembers. it’s the only thing her brain can hold on at the moment, like a sailman drowning in the sea, it holds on to it like a lifeline.

“ Then why.. why’d you make me call Bobby in the first place?”

“ He wanted to be sure you were fine.” Dean’s voice is somber and deep, his anger not quite gone, but at least his face is a little less tense.

One look at Bobby and she can see the worry on his face, in his eyes. She stupidly thought she could go on a job on her own and not anyone, not tell Bobby where she was going. It was one of the first rule of this job.

she felt stupid, so stupid. but she only wanted to prove to herself she was capable.

capable of what?

She was so tired she didn’t have the strength to cry, the tears getting stuck on her throat. She couldn’t talk anymore, she didn’t know what to say, and quite frankly she didn’t really want to talk anymore.

***

tell me in the comment what you think and if you wanna be added to the taglist <3 hope i didnt forget anyone

taglist: @french-vanilla-in-the-clouds @some-destiel-shipper @vantae-tea @tiggytaylor @lacilou @stitchintimefan @katsotherworld @leigh70

@hellhound-whisperer

#dean fanfiction #supernatural fanfic series #supernatural fanfiction #dean winchester x you #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #bobby singer #dean x y/n #original character #ao3 works #writer tumblr #spn fanfic #ao3 fanfic #team free will

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rottenbrainstuff · 5 months

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BG3 playthrough: Last Light Inn

Spoilers below the cut

HOOOOOOO it’s my tiefling buddies from act 1!

…some of them!

………a very, very small amount of them.

Goddamn I was so happy to see them, smiled so wide to see those kiddos there, but SO sad to see what happened, and see how few of them were there. Dammon seems undaunted, the kids are making the best of a bad situation (Mol I take my eyes off you for one minute and you are making a deal with a GODDAMNED DEVIL), but fuck me, Bex crying by the bridge broke my heart, and Rolan being a dick at the bar made me so sad as well. I wonder if people dislike him because of how rude he is being here? Like, he’s literally calling me names and blaming my tav for things that aren’t my fault at all. But it didn’t make me mad at him - it only made me more sad. He’s totally drunk and angry and blaming me for things that don’t even make sense, because he’s so upset about his siblings. The more it doesn’t make sense, the more sad it is. Poor guy. I know he told me to fuck right off when I said I would save them, but I mean it, I will. I love Rolan. He’s such a fucking idiot. That’s my type I guess, idiot men who have no idea how fucking lame they are.

I’m really sad that Alfira isn’t here: it seems she would have extra dialogue about what happened to them on the road, some horrible details about what happened to poor Asharak, and exactly how Rolan and his siblings saved the kids. And it seems talking to HER gives me a little extra dialogue options for when I talk to other people. Ah well. Dark urge sacrifices.

As mentioned, Mol is already waist-deep into more trouble, and she’s considering making a deal with Raphael. What an interesting conversation this was. I tried to warn her off and she said, but no one is helping them. She is going to protect her kids no matter what she has to do, and if she has to make a deal to do it, then that’s what she’s going to do. I thought to myself, god, that sounds exactly like Zevlor. THEN, the very next thing she says, she mentions Zevlor, how he froze, and how she is going to do better. I’m sure the game did that on purpose, I’m sure that writing can’t be a happy accident. NO MOL NO. No deals with literal devils.

The conversation here between Raphael and Astarion is super super interesting, I think. Astarion can sound suave when he’s doing a seduction, but here more than anywhere else I’ve seen so far, it’s really evident this is only because of the practice he’s had. Talking to Raphael, it’s obvious he’s nervous, halting, even whining. 10 cha boy, truly. I love it.

The strange ox is in the stable outside. Dark urge has some options to talk to the ox and realize it has the same horrible murder fantasies that you have. It’s startling for sure but I don’t think it has anything to actually do with the dark urge: as far as I’m aware, the only thing that’s up with the ox is that it’s a shape-shifted ooze hiding out, right? Are oozes really just that murderous??? I was showing a friend of mine the ox scene, and wanted to aggro it to show them what the ox really looks like. I picked a dark urge option instead of the normal aggro option and…. wow. Dark urge isn’t playing around, huh. We were both surprised, lol. I’m playing a resisting durge so I hadn’t actually done one of these scenes before, lol. If you say the right things, the ox will be pleased with you and… hork up a gem. Thanks?...

This area is crappy. It just feels bad. Like, not even just the shadows, but the ground itself is all broken up and off-kilter. I now have, like, four different tasks to do, and I have no freaking idea what I want to do first. The first thing I guess is to decide how I want to get to moonrise… go with Kar’niss and the goblin caravan, or ambush them? I want to go with Kar’niss so I can meet up with him later at the top of the tower, but if I do that, I’m going to be stuck at the tower without a lantern for a while and I’m not really wanting to do that either…. Sigh. Not sure.

Fun note - my daughter who is also playing just got to the gith creche. She is really committed… for some reason… to playing a character who doesn’t really want to be nosy about investigating in other people’s property, or about stepping in and interfering where she is an outsider. Play the game how you want, I guess, but end result of this that she just stood back in the gith classroom and let Varrl get knifed, thus killing one of my favourite NPCs. I was…. Surprised…. With her choice. Lol.

I was also wanting to see what her thoughts were after talking more with the guardian. I wanted to know if an unspoiled player would think the guardian had something to do with, or perhaps even WAS, somehow, Orpheus. But, she mistrusts the guardian so badly that this thought apparently didn’t even cross her mind. So that’s interesting. She ended up stabbing the guardian, lol.

I still don’t know what I’m going to do next here. Sigh. Maybe I’ll explore around and do some of the small stuff, need to go save Rolan’s foolish ass, and then decide what to do about moonrise?…

#bg3 #bg3 playthrough #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 spoilers

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esther-dot · 2 years

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You’ve peaked my interest… and I agree, I think there is a bit of a disconnect between how we might view Jon (his character, choices, relationships etc) and how Kit does. And I guess that’s a fault of the show, because being so involved in that as an actor would have had an impact, but are there any other glaring differences in perception for you? Things that make you apprehensive for his continued version? Thanks :)

(about this ask)

Oh, I studiously avoided all interviews and news related to GoT until right before s8, so I'm not filled in on Kit's perspective the way other fans are, and obviously, s8 was such a mess I was gonna hate everything he said after the fact because he had to be unprofessional or defend crappy writing. Also, I don't think interviews are necessarily a writer/actor/director's honest opinion. They have to sell their product, that’s the priority, and if they’re totally honest, as amusing as that can be, it can just confuse the issue. I know EC said a lot of things post finale that were expressing her feelings about what happened, but they didn’t make sense with what we watched happen on screen. So, sometimes the interviews just muddy the water, and in that way, it may be best to stick to the party line. And another issue is that what we hear them talk about is not only guided by what the interviewer is interested in but sometimes further curated so I don’t know what is a sincere thought on Kit’s part, I didn’t listen to his thoughts over the years so I’m unaware of how they evolved, and I don’t want to claim I know things I don’t. I mean, I’m still gonna chat about this but caveat caveat caveat.

After s8 Kit said something about Jon belonging with the FF, and I simply don’t see how someone who has read the books thinks that Jon belongs with them. I know people do, but I don’t understand it at all. I don’t even buy that for show Jon although it isn’t quite as weird to me that show watchers think that. Thinking that he may end up in exile is one thing, but to assert that he’s happy/happier there? It’s implying he’s at peace with their lifestyle when in the books he is clearly disapproving, so I just don’t buy the idea he’d ever embrace it, nor should we want him to? Jon’s view needed to be challenged and developed, but we aren’t mean to think killing kids or kidnapping women is ok.

One quote from Jon’s time with the FF that I always found jarring is when he thinks of himself as a dog when having sex with Ygritte. The fact that he feels dehumanized was disturbing to me, and made the revelation of what he truly wanted, to be a lord with a lady wife, all the more heartbreaking. Jon doesn’t want to just find a rando to fuck, he wants the life he’s been denied through no fault of his own. So even if to the reader his time with Ygritte sounds like fun, Jon’s internalization of it isn’t positive because of his upbrigning. Jon fans should respect that. Now, of course, the show diminished the cultural differences and barriers that prevent Jon from assimilating post canon, but if we’re thinking of book Jon, sympathy and caring for some of the FF doesn’t eliminate them.

I defended (a lil bit) Kit’s thoughts about show Jongritte (link) because D&D changed it from the books, and I don’t want to assume that’s his answer if asked about book Jongritte. But, if we conflate it all, or just combined that with his comment about show Jon belonging with the FF, I worry. How sincerely did he mean that? Book Jon wasn’t truly happy with Ygritte, he didn’t choose her. He resisted her, was coerced into having sex with her, and she was continually forceful and demanding with him. The entire time that Jon is with her, he’s tortured because he always intended to betray her. He feels bad because he’s a good person and comes to care for her and others, but to me the point wasn’t that he ever wavered, it was simply to highlight how difficult it was for him to remain steadfast. I think Martin’s a writer who never wants it to be too easy for his characters, and I admire that. But to take that, to take Jon seeing these people as people, and miss the fact that he has much greater loyalty and love for his family, for the North as a whole, for his brothers of the Watch (and this is big considering what later happens to him), and to himself….uh, well, I think that means misunderstanding him in a major way.

Again, I don’t know that Kit missed that. He was speaking in the context of the show, but I think D&D missed the purpose the J/Y relationship served in the book, and I worry that Kit followed their lead there and applied that to Jon and the FF too. Jon is very much a product of his culture and his upbringing by Ned. He wants to have honor, he wants to adhere to his vows, he wants to be worthy, he has certain values, none of which the FF or Ygritte understand or respect. It bothers me that even in the show Ygritte says it’s time to break his vow and that’s presented as romantic because these two gorgeous people have chemistry, rather than yet another burden poor Jon will have to carry that he must do something that will add to his shame. And yeah, Kit later talked about Dany being Jon’s love and we all saw how he acted that, so everything he says in interviews is suspect, especially when he had to at times outright lie to us (regarding Jon being dead, for instance), so this stuff doesn’t bother me too much, it just makes me hhhhmmm.

I understand why Kit would want to believe that Jon’s ending is good, that Jon will be ok, but what if he truly believes that Jon belongs with the FF? What does that say about how he read Jon’s struggle with honor/duty/love? What does that say about how he read Jon’s relationship with the Starks? What does that say about how he took the line Jon gives a dying Ygritte? Does he think Jon should have been a turn cloak? Should have stayed in the cave? Does he think Jon should have fucked Ygritte, rethought all his convictions and giving a shit about his family and the North and sided with the FF? I mean, I doubt it, but I’m not sure what he thinks. Even if he meant Jon belongs with the FF now, when they’re seemingly at peace, he belongs with them because he’s done with politics and just wants to live without those games impacting him, that’s still ignoring the child killing and the rape culture that book Jon specifically objects to. Life South of the Wall has been cruel to Jon, there are all sorts of machinations, women and children suffer even a society that considers itself so much more cultured, but he finds those two aspects of FF life wrong, and considering his habit of wanting to protect the helpless, he’d never be able to ignore it. He would never be at peace with it. SO, how can we think Jon is happy to live in that world?

Also, I was concerned by the fact that Kit spoke about how annoying Sansa was and how he didn’t understand her etc. Now, I always thought the way he talked about it (blushing, laughing) was very cute and that he was speaking more in the context of his friendship with Sophie than anything too serious about Jon’s feelings regarding Sansa because of how he played Jon in their scenes, but I was concerned because even though he said that, there seemed to be a weird absence of equal judgment of Jon and Dany. If Sansa is annoying for begging Jon to consider another perspective, what does that say about Dany who says if you don’t kneel I’ll let everyone die? On any moral scale that Sansa registers, Dany is off the charts and that’s in s7, way before she starts randomly threatening the lives of her bf’s family or burning kids for funsies.

Again, I tried to avoid interviews so I’m not trying to say I know what Kit thinks, I’ve definitely heard contradictory soundbites, and at one point he said he would never understand Jon, but while there were some (joking imo) complaints about Sansa, I never heard him acknowledge that in the story they ended up giving us, Sansa was far too trusting of Jon because Jon betrayed her by bending the knee, giving away her freedom, unnecessarily. I never heard him defend Sansa and point out how loyal she was to Jon. I never heard him talk about how accepting of Jon she was. That may have happened, and I think there were some interviews around s6 in which he said Jon should listen to Sansa, but I didn’t think, putting all shipping aside, he acknowledged what Sansa’s actions (giving Jon a cloak like Ned’s, telling him he’s a Stark to her, wanting him to take the Lord’s chamber, supporting him as KitN...) meant to Jon, and I think that meant the world to show Jon and would mean even more to book Jon.

Even Sophie was guided into some Sansa critical comments at times, so I don’t get offended by that stuff, but it makes me squint because Kit continued to talk about Jon’s honor and honesty in s7-8, even then it looks like he lied to his lords and the Starks about that. So it appears Jon felt like he needed to be honest with Cersei in s7 and Dany in s8 but he didn’t owe that to his family or the people who made him king? Now, obviously, that’s shit writing, Kit isn’t responsible, but why isn’t there recognition of what that means about Jon? And what that means about Sansa’s behavior? The context of Sansa’s behavior is Jon’s, and Jon’s is so so much worse then hers. So, what gives? I don’t like Jon bashing but between Jon and Sansa, Jon is the one who sided with a mass murderer. Why wasn’t that brought into focus?

This is probably what gives me the most concern about a sequel. If he doesn’t look at Jon s7-8 and think “boy, you fucked up.” (and I haven’t heard anything that makes me think that’s how he views things), I can’t see how this show will have anything to say that I want to hear. I remember him saying when they go into KL and the massacre starts that Jon realizes there’s no honor in that fight and that did annoy me because Jon hadn’t had honor all season, not after he lied to his family and forced Sansa to keep a secret she shouldn’t have and refused to listen to any warnings about Dany even though he knew even better than Sansa that all her concerns about Dany were justified, and he then refused to even entertain the idea that Dany needed to be stopped, stood by as Dany burned a man alive, went ahead and dragged his men into KL even thought he knew Dany wouldn’t stop after the bells rang...like, caveat caveat caveat but also wtf wtf wtf.

He spoke about how it broke Jon’s heart to kill Dany, and that’s fine, he has to say what he has to say as part of his job, but what about Jon’s feelings of complicity in the massacre? What about the fact that his choices meant bringing a woman into Sansa’s home (where she had been raped and tortured) who immediately started threatening Sansa’s life? What about his feelings that Ned Stark abandoned his sacred honor and lied to his best friend/committed treason against the king he fought for to protect Jon, only for Jon to side against Ned’s daughters and with a Targaryen conqueror, until the last possible minute? Where is his shame? Where is his guilt?

For book Jon, no matter how fucked up he is post assassination, being embroiled in any of this mess, all I can think of is the self-recrimination he would have and how the kid would never have peace unless the entire time he had remained faithful to the Starks and the North and been serving their interests. Even for show Jon, I found this all untenable. But I never saw anything that made me think Kit felt that way. Hence my misgivings.

#ask dot #jon show

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changingplumbob · 5 months

Text

New Goth Household: Chapter 3, Part 5

Keira and Marta discuss the jerk that is Marta's emotionally abusive ex. Milton tries to make a friend and Joey throws himself in to his work.

Keira: And by he we’re talking about the sorry excuse of a man that belittled you for years, right

Marta: Liam

Keira: I thought you said he was through pursuing you when he realised you were no longer afraid of him

Marta: I thought so. But he waltzed in and wanted me to make his coffee order. I mean I couldn’t say no, the boss was right there watching

Keira: Did he say anything else

Marta: That I make him crazy. That he misses me. I told him, I’m in love with a beautiful girl. His response was rather vulgar

Keira: That piece of trash

Marta: He never believed I was bisexual. Thought he could woohoo liking girls out of me

Keira: Please tell me you spat in his coffee

Marta: Carino I need this job, we need savings. We can’t live in that mansion forever and I want to be able to pay my own way with you

Keira: But-

Marta: He doesn’t know who you are or where we are, he can’t harass us beyond wanting crappy coffee.

Keira: I just want you safe

Marta: Whenever I’m with you Keira, I feel safe

Alexander: How was your first day of school

Milton: Okay I guess. Except when they asked me if my mum or dad were picking me up and I had to say neither

Alexander: I’ll call your teacher about it

Milton: Please don’t. I’m already the kid with no parents, I don’t want to be the kid who makes trouble

Alexander: If you’re sure

Milton: I am. Look I’m all finished with homework so I’m going to go to the library room

Alexander: You think he’s okay

James: It was always going to be tricky love, but I think he doesn’t seem too downcast

Joey: Wait- he just turned up like some stalker creep

Marta: I’m used to him pulling stupid stunts

Joey: But you haven’t been together in ages

Marta: He thinks he owns me, or owns my happiness

Keira: Yeah I don’t count as a partner because I’m a girl

Milton: Adults sound stupid

Joey: You’re telling me kid

Alexander: You get promoted yet

Joey: Even I’m not going to get promoted on my first day. The producer did have a flip out though, kept flinging me panicked emails, and I thought I was paranoid

James: Did you sort it

Joey: Oh yeah. I had to take some time off other tasks but I managed to make a programme to tackle all the issues. Even got praised in the afternoon meeting

Following dinner Alexander takes time to play with Milton and make sure he ends the day happy. James looks after the other youngsters, making sure the cats are content.

Alexander: I haven’t read anything but textbooks in ages

James: It’s always nice to slow down. Did Milton get to bed alright

Alexander: He was cracking jokes so I think he’s okay sweets

…

In their room Keira and Marta are having quite a passionate make out session.

Marta: You’re kissing pretty hard carino

Keira: Sorry, I just want to help you forget whatshisface

Marta: Ay dios mio, I can’t even remember his name

Keira: Good, we’re working

All the young adults take advantage of the home gym while James preps breakfast for everyone

James: Gertrude they did not order this with cat fur dressing

Joey: Can you see my muscles yet

Alexander: I guess

Joey: You seem crabby

Alexander: Milton’s still insisting on sharing a room. It makes it hard for me and James to...

Joey: Do something abut getting hard? You know you can just put him somewhere else

Alexander: He’s my brother, I’ve got to look after him

Alexander washes is dishes in the guest bathroom where James finds him.

James: You all caught up on homework

Alexander: Yes Mr Goth, I’ve finished my schoolwork

James: *chuckles* well Milton is at school, the cats are napping down here, our bedroom is pretty empty right now if you’re up for it

Alexander: I’m always up for it. It’s felt like forever since we’ve been together and I have been dreaming pixel part dreams

James: So glad I landed a younger man. Come on love

School only made Milton tense but afterwards he invited over classmate Reynaldo. The two set themselves up int the dining room battling voidcritters. Could Reynaldo be Milton’s first childhood friend? Unfortunately I did make it trickier to raise friendship so we’ll have to wait and see.

Alexander: Milton, come and eat

Milton: Just as soon as I win this battle

Reynaldo: Never!

Marta: Kids are so cute

Joey: Guess who got promoted! It’s ya boy Joey

Alexander: Still talking about yourself in the third person when you brag

Joey: It helps highlight my skills. I just demanded some challenges, took extra training and ta da! I’m now a project manager

Marta: Is that good?

Joey: It’s closer to the dream. Well the career dream, not the sleep with as many women as I can dream

Joey chose to work hard during his shift (seriously, I didn’t select it) so is feeling like he needs to stretch his creative skills. He starts knitting a new pair of socks upstairs while Marta checks out what drama is on TV. When Alexander is finished with his homework he joins them and they chatter away until Keira finally finishes her work. Joey is ending his knitting when he gets a hook up txt from Tuesday.

Tuesday: Congratulations on your promotion!

Joey: You here to congratulate me then?

The two head to Joey’s room where Tuesday takes a moment to chat before diving in.

Tuesday: You know how Monica has always fancied you

Joey: Really? But she’s less than attractive

Tuesday: To you maybe. Anyway she’s got her sights set on Derick and was asking about how we practice together and I get the feeling she’d like to practice with you. If for nothing else than making Derick jealous

Joey: Yeah I’m sure my killer good looks have nothing to do with it

Tuesday: Focus. My point is, if you have fun with her, make sure to include me. I’ve wanted to get a better look at her boobs for ages

Winterfest is certainly over so its time for a cat costume change. Hamlet gets a mysterious cape while Gertrude gets to be a lady knight, en garde! Joey tried to fit in some creative time to wipe away his threatening burnout before work but didn’t quite manage it. Fingers crossed he doesn’t overdo it today.

It may be raining but if you’re underwater it makes no difference. Keira has another day free of classes before her exams and takes the time to do some more diving. She gets a new underwater photo and cements her love of sea creatures.

Milton got another pop up about inviting Reynaldo over after school. He lost his first tooth during recess (one of his front oversized ones) and is not happy.

Milton: Why do we have to lose them anyway

Reynaldo: If you were an adult with kid sized teeth it’d be weird

Milton: How many do we have to lose

Reynaldo: I think it’s kind of the same one over and over again until we become teens and they shift

Milton: Sounds logical to me

Keira has also been taking time to use the easel Kayleigh gave her and today finished her first masterpiece! Mum will be proud. Alexander is indulging in his culinary hobby again by making everyone mac and cheese. I know I don’t have hobbies installed right now but I’m going to keep playing like I do. Joey arrives home and yep, he’s experiencing burnout. Time to use a vacation day to unwind I think.

James is busy giving lessons on love to Marta and Keira when Alexander finishes cooking.

Joey: Man I feel rubbish

James: You don’t look too good son

Keira: Burnout maybe?

Joey: Please, I’m a genius. That said, I have taken tomorrow off

Alexander: Milton! Come eat!

James: It’s good he’s making a friend

Of course before everyone can be finished Hamlet jumps up and helps himself to the food.

Derick: Yo bro, how’s it

Joey: Not too shiny my man. Hoping some partying can lift my mood but my roomates have exams tomorrow

Derick: Dude I have exams tomorrow and I can still enjoy a keg

Joey: Us bro’s are built differently. Is Monica here

Derick: Monica? Probably. She always seems to be wherever I turn

Joey: You ever tap that

Derick: Na, I don’t dabble with amateurs. But why are we talking about her, come on in

Joey taps the keg but try as I might, the keg stand interaction doesn’t work

Monica: Joey, you came

Joey: Always do

Monica: *blushes* You know you have pretty eyes

Joey: I do, lashes make a difference, but let’s cut to the chase. You don’t need to flirt with me. If you want to practice to impress Derick I’m happy to help

Monica: Really? Just like that?

Joey: If the woohoo is on offer I’m happy to oblige

Joey: But you know, it’s not going to be sparkles and rainbows. Be sure you want this

Monica: I do, and make sure to give Derick a good review

Joey: About that, Tuesday really wanted to help

Monica: She did? But I’m straight

Joey: Same here but playing with more people can increase your skills

Monica: Okay but if she’s involved she has to take some cute pics to “accidentally” send Derick

Joey: I’m sure she can manage that. Shall we go upstairs

Monica: No. Not here. I want Derick to think I’m good, I don’t want him to think I’m easy

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#sims 4 #the sims 4 #the sims #Rotation8 #ChangingPlumbobStorytime #NewGothHousehold #MartaRomero #KeiraFoster #AlexanderGoth #MiltonGoth #JamesGoth #JoeyYork #simblr #R0802

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