#but lily makes it better

[resident-gay-bitch]

“james, love…” lily puts her hand soothingly on james’ thigh. it’s soft, and small, and smooth, and almost delicate in her touch. everything about lily is so right to james, in every sense.

but gosh, sometimes he wishes that hand were bigger, rougher, scarred and pale with long bony fingers and black chipped nail polish.

james doesn’t even know why he feels that way sometimes. he loves lily. he really fucking loves lily. she’s everything to him, and five times out of ten he’ll yearn for her hand and her touch and her love.

but those five other times…

fuck, it hurts. and it’s so goddamned confusing. james drives himself crazy thinking about it.

actually, he drives himself crazy trying not to think about it. he doesn’t want to think about it. he can’t hurt lily. she’s the love of his life. so wonderful, she is, the brightest witch of her age, and she’s sassy and challenges james and doesn’t put up with his arrogance but also loves when he gets a little snobby. she’s so wonderful, and his parents adore her, and they’re engaged. to be married!

james doesn’t think life could get much more perfect than her.

oh, but his heart, it’s a terrible fucking thing. it’s the worst thing in the world, he’s beginning to think.

everyone’s always told him he has the most pure heart they’ve ever seen, that he has so much love and wears it on his sleeve. james potter has a wonderful heart, so good and lovely.

but james potter thinks his heart is so horrible, the betrayer. why? why would it do this to him?

it loves lily so dearly, and he’s certain of that. so why does his heart race so fucking fast when those long bony fingers reach out and tickle his skin. why does it ache and yearn for james to look into ice grey eyes and embrace another? if his heart so full of good and love, why must it hate james so much?

his body quakes when her delicate touch gluides over the meat of his thigh, the covers kicked down to his shins. her nails are painted a pretty pale green colour, and they look lovely, sitting in the place where his boxers end. he usually loves the sight of her hand there, so perfectly placed, her freckled skin contrasting against the tan of his own.

but not tonight. not right now. right now it’s his hand that james wants to see there. it’s his bony pale fingers that james wants to see spread out over the thick muscle. it’s his touch james yearns for.

he convulses, caving in on himself more. he’s distraught, arms wrapped tight around his almost bare body, snot in his nose, hot cheeks covered in tear tracks, his glasses all foggy.

“love…” she whispers again, her perfect, sweet voice. james loves the way she chants his name, weather it be soft, or tender, or loud, or excited, or desperate, or angered. he loves it all. he loves how perfect the melody of everything she says sounds to him. but he wishes for the deeper baritone of someone else to call his name in all the same ways. someone who’s not supposed to call his name in all the same ways.

james can’t even look at her. cant bring himself to look at her. he can’t hurt her the way hes hurting himself. cant believe he’s feeling this way. it’s horrible, guilt sinking it’s claws into his chest and tugging everything out until there’s nothing left but empty pain.

he can’t tell her, or she’ll leave him.

he can’t tell him, or everything will be wrong.

he can’t lie, or he’ll feel even more guilty.

he can’t be honest, or things will get messy.

he can’t rot like this forever, or hill drive himself to insanity.

they’re getting married next week, for fucks sake. and james loves her so much, and he’s so happy, and so excited. they’ve been taking about kids, about life. james got so excited about the thought, he impulsively bought a tiny pair of baby sneakers he saw in the store one afternoon.

so why is it, on his bucks night, of all nights, that he’s getting cold feet? why is it now just hitting him harder than it ever had before, these horribly betraying feelings?

had it been because those ice grey eyes looked at james with such pure affection and softness it made his heart want to explode? had it been because calloused hands felt good wrapped around james’ biceps as he had to be hauled back up to bed? had it been then kiss left on james’ forehead from pretty pink lips that didn’t belong to his fiancé? had it been the quiet words muttered into the night, when james was presumedly asleep, that had been playing on an insistent loop since they’d been whispered?

she can give you everything i can’t, amour. be happy, please.

or did it only really hit him, how horrible this all is, when he heard lily get home right as he was leaving. when he heard them talking downstairs, unable to decipher what they were saying, but sobered enough in the head to know they were talking for a while, taking about good things and bad.

or is it worse, because james feels the way he does, and he knows it’s bad and that he shouldn’t think on it, but sometimes he notices those ice grey eyes drift over to look at the soft curves of lilys figure? is it anger, he feels, for his friend to look at his fiancé like that? is it jealousy that he feels, when he notices her looking back? or is he jealous that those ice grey eyes aren’t always set on james?

“james.” lily whispers once more, moving herself closer to him on the bed, her hand shifting from his thigh to his cheek where she wiped his tears and held him. her makeups smudged, her hairs all messy, and he has a gaudy feather boa on. she wanted an all muggle henz night, and it looks like she had a wonderful one. and now james was here, ruining it because his heart yearns for a second.

why isn’t she enough for him? why can’t she be enough?

“i’m sorry, love.” james splutters out, surprised he can actually string his words together.

“oh, jamie.” she whispered, the soft pad of her thumb swipes over his wet cheek, flicking away more tears as they spilled. she leant in close to kiss his forehead, so delicate and warm, her kisses. so perfect. not enough. she smells like champagne, and sweat, and her floral perfume. it’s nice, comforting, it’s her and assurance she had a good night.

james sobbs more, they rip through him like waves; a never ending stream washing him away, and he aches.

“i love you so much, darling.” she whispers again, “and you love me?”

oh, more than anything he’s ever loved, almost. besides that one other incessant, irritable, beautiful, perfect disaster. he loves the both of them equally, he thinks, which is wrong. it’s so wrong. pick one, he tells himself. you can only love one person at a time.

“of course.” he nods, bottom lip wobbling as he speaks. “oh, i love you so much, lily, you have no idea-“

“i know, my love.” she smiles, so pretty, so perfect. “but your heart… it’s not only mine, is it?”

james stills, his said heart stops still in his chest. he isn’t entirely sure he’s actually breathing for a very long while. how would she know such a thing? how can she know? how- how… oh how?

“oh, my love.” she giggles, so softly. it sounds so familiar, like a warm summer breeze, and it settles something deep in james’ chest. it provides him comfort, as she always does, and he breathes again. “don’t panic. i’ve known for a while- for years, james. before we started going out, you know?”

“i’m so sorry.” he breaks, slumping into her arms and almost wailing against her chest. she holds him tight, soothing her hand over his back and petting him there, another hand sifting through his hair as she kisses his crown. she’d make a wonderful mother some day, james knows it. but now he’s gone and fucked it up, hasn’t he? “i don’t want to hurt you, i love you, lily, so much-“

“i know, james.” she sighed, kissing his crown once more, “you don’t have to be scared. not with me. you know you can tell me these things? i’ve been waiting for you to tell me years, thought maybe once we tied the knot you would.”

“you’re not… mad at me?” james peaks up at her, his eyes stinging from crying so much, his glasses askew. “why are you not mad at me?”

he’s terribly lost right now, his heart practically on another planet already with how fast it’s moving.

“you can love more than one person, james, and still have your love be pure.” she smiled, so sweetly, so pretty. he wants to kiss her, but thinks this is hardly the time for that. “you can love anyone you desire, as much as you desire. i know your heart is mine, i just share it with sirius, is all.”

hearing her speak his name like that, it’s unsettling at first. it makes james jolt back in shock, looking at her through eyes blown wide. she was never meant to know, no one was ever supposed to know. it’s weird, now she knows- she’s always known, apparently. but since he’s been made aware. why isn’t she angry? why isn’t she saying his name with such distain?

why does she speak his name like it’s something tender, like he’s precious? why does she sound out each letter the same way james would?

“you’re not a terrible person, james. please know that. i only waited so long to bring it up because i wanted you to feel good about it. but i can see it getting to you…” she sighed, smoothing her soft hands over his shoulders, “i love you so very much, no matter how many other people i share your heart with. i think it’s wonderful, how you can love me so strongly and still have more to give. don’t you think it’s wonderful? you do really have the biggest heart.”

james doesn’t know how to feel right now. he doesn’t know what this means. she loves him, still. is glad, perhaps? he’s baffled, actually. and he must show it, because she laughs so brightly at him and wipes the last of his sticky tears away before kissing him kindly.

james sinks into her wonderful, wonderful kiss. oh, she really is brilliant, his lily.

the brightest witch for certain.

“you relax, my love. lay down.” she mutters, pushing james back to lie under the covers again, folding his glasses for him and setting them on his bedside, “i’m going to put on a spot of tea, and then we’ll lay together for a while, and we’ll talk more in the morning about what it all will mean, okay?”

“okay.” james muttered, closing his heavy eyes.

oh he really loves his lily.

he must have fallen asleep, because one minuet she’s laying him into bed and the next she’s making him sip a hot cup of tea. his glasses stay off, too tired to worry much about seeing, too drunk to process much else anyway. he sips his tea, and she sips hers, and smiles at him softly.

“i love you so much, james.” she whispers to him, taking his teacup and setting it on his bedside table. “let’s sleep?”

she doesn’t give him time to argue, shoving him over into the centre of the bed. rather than climbing into her own side, she crawls under the covers on james’ and curls in at his side.

but james can’t focus much on the soft curve of lily, or her pretty smile, or the inviting smell of her; there’s another body climbing into bed behind him.

“shhh…” lily whispers, taking james chin and turning him to face her, as he startled. she kisses his lips again and wipes away the confused furrow of his brow. “not now, love. just relax, okay. let us hold you, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

james nods and turns to look at the other body, and finds pale skin and ice grey eyes looking down on him softly.

“would you like me to hold you, jamie?” he whispers, and james’ heart burns with how fast it’s beating.

james nods, too delirious to question it, if he’s honest. it’s not as if they don’t cuddle, regularly. it’s just… this is a little different, he suspects. lily has this look on her face, like she’s meddling, like she’s happy to be meddling.

james usually loves when she meddles, so he can only assume this is something good. he doesn’t have to worry now, they’ll talk about it in the morning.

for now, he lays his head on his pillow and wraps his arms tight around lily, their legs slotting together with ease, a position they have mastered. she’s curled into his chest, her forehead pressed against the flesh of his, and her hair tucked under his chin.

but tonight another set of arms wrap around them. strong biceps and ink blead into pale skin lay over james’ own. those long bony fingers skate over the back of james’ palm, the one that rests on the meaty flesh of lilys lower back, and they slot between his own. a strong jaw tucks itself over james’ shoulder and nuzzles there, warm breath fanning over his neck.

it’s sirius, pressed up against his back, spooning james whilst he holds his fiancé. it’s so oddly comforting to be sandwiched between the pair, his heart never had felt quite so full.

lily shoots her hand up and shoves sirius’ face away, and she tiredly groans. “your breath smells like cigarettes, dog-boy. don’t breathe on me, or i will kick you out.”

sirius snickers, and james utterly loves the sound. it contrasts the melody of lilys laugh quite strongly, and perhaps lily is right; maybe it is kind of beautiful how his heart can love two entirely different things, so intently, and so equally.

“please don’t kick me out.” sirius grumbles, tucking his face behind james’ shoulder and kissing him there. james’ heart positively somersaults. “i’ll probably have a bigger meltdown than james,” james kicks his foot back against sirius’ ankle, and he laughs before continuing, “i love you both terribly.”

this time lily is the one to kick sirius, right between james’ legs, “shh! don’t ruin it!”

sirius kicked her back, “he’s so drunk, he won’t even remember, mrs. potter.”

“he’s significantly more sober now, dipshit.” she muttered, “sorry, jamie, go to sleep.”

“oh…” sirius muttered, pressing his face into the back of james’ neck, “sorry, prongsie boy. we’ll, ah… we’ll talk more tomorrow. but you can understand, right? waiting so long and all-“

“shut up, pads.” james groaned, hoping neither of them could notice the red smatter of blush on his face or the lovestruck grin he had plastered to his lips, “i’m trying to sleep.”

“right.” sirius muttered, and shut his trap.

silence lulled over the room again, and james mind was so heavy, so desperate to sleep. however, his heart was hyperactive.

this was something.

oh, this had to be something entirely wonderful.

he wasn’t sure he could wait till morning to talk about it further. he just had to get one last word in before he let himself sleep.

“i love you both terribly too, i suppose.”

james fell asleep feeling much better than he had before, lily and sirius sandwiching him in; the shared warmth of their body’s settling comfortably over james. they were here, now, all of them, together. james and lily love eachother, and by the looks of things james and sirius love eachother too; and perhaps even lily and sirius might. but either way, james’ heart is too fucking full of love and he never intends on ridding himself of that.

they both pressed pretty little kisses to james skin in sync, and james certainly dreamed much more wonderful things than he had in a while.

[lexithwrites]

Justice for Barty and Lily for always being made out to be shitty exes, getting cheated on or used just so jegulus can get together

[obsob]

muse :3

✹prints shop!✹

[dolybun]

I wanna have as much fun as they did

[honeyroseluv]

[messervixen]

Lily should have survived.

“Harry was saved by his mother’s love-“ Let me stop you right there.

I present to you: James Fleamont Potter.

You’re telling me that James didn’t love Lily and Harry enough to evoke the ancient love magic that Lily saved Harry with?

Mr. “Had an ego the size of a lake but a heart to match it?”

He loved both of them so much that he literally died trying to give them a chance to escape and that wasn’t enough?

I don’t buy it.

The only semi-logical explanation I can come up with is that he didn’t have his wand and maybe you can’t do something like that wand-less but did Lily have her wand?

Even then we’re talking about a guy who literally became an illegal animagus at the ripe age of 15.

He also loves and cares for people so deeply and it was LOVE MAGIC.

Look me in the eyes and tell me James Potter couldn’t have just saved BOTH of them without his wand.

Exactly, you can’t.

Honestly I could go on about all of the reasons James and Lily dying didn’t even make sense.

This is just another thing that makes me question why they died the way they did.

Them dying on an order mission would’ve been more realistic. There were just too many plot holes in them dying in Godric’s Hollow.

In conclusion, the ending of the first war didn’t make sense. Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

Edit:

Guys this post is not that serious I just mean that everything about what happened that night and the explanation for all of it felt like a stretch and kinda vague to me 😭

Even with the stuff about James not having a choice. Like yeah Voldemort didn’t verbally give him the option to back off but James still made the choice to try and hold him off.

Also James was a Pureblood and Voldemort made it known that he would spare them if they didn’t fight him because his whole thing was blood purity.

So like the “Lily was given a choice” still feels so vague to me.

Also Voldemort making the promise to Snape feels weird. Snape asked him not to kill Lily but Voldemort said that he wouldn’t as long as she didn’t get in his way. And Lily did get in his way of killing Harry so he didn’t break that promise by killing her.

Yeah he probably could’ve just knocked her out or something but he still didn’t break any promises.

And the whole reason Snape joined Dumbledore before the end of the first war is because he didn’t think Lily would just let Voldemort kill her son. He didn’t make an unbreakable vow or anything so Snape knew that Voldemort would probably kill Lily.

[bia-and-tea]

i did some memes out of boredom…literally three

here is the reference:

[trentcrimmisgay]

i ran out of screenshots so i will now be using my own text messages w ted posts (i miss them). this one is all about loooove baby. romcommunism !!!(part six. more posts)

[anonymouscheeses]

Exposing myself

[sungtaro]

XIAOJUN IN EVERY MV ✦ 7. 'TURN BACK TIME'

[oceans-beloved]

Meme dump yayyy🥳✨️

(off to make more now muhahaha >:3)

[muchlovefleursblog]

[fanfic-lover-girl]

Snape being gaslit

“He must have Disapparated, Severus. We should have left somebody in the room with him. When this gets out —” “HE DIDN’T DISAPPARATE!” Snape roared, now very close at hand. “YOU CAN’T APPARATE OR DISAPPARATE IN- SIDE THIS CASTLE! THIS — HAS — SOMETHING — TO — DO — WITH — POTTER!” “Severus — be reasonable — Harry has been locked up —” BAM. The door of the hospital wing burst open. Fudge, Snape, and Dumbledore came striding into the ward. Dumbledore alone looked calm. Indeed, he looked as though he was quite enjoying himself. Fudge appeared angry. But Snape was beside himself. “OUT WITH IT, POTTER!” he bellowed. “WHAT DID YOU DO?” “Professor Snape!” shrieked Madam Pomfrey. “Control yourself!” “See here, Snape, be reasonable,” said Fudge. “This door’s been locked, we just saw —” “THEY HELPED HIM ESCAPE, I KNOW IT!” Snape howled, pointing at Harry and Hermione. His face was twisted; spit was flying from his mouth. “Calm down, man!” Fudge barked. “You’re talking nonsense!” “YOU DON’T KNOW POTTER!” shrieked Snape. “HE DID IT, I KNOW HE DID IT —” “That will do, Severus,” said Dumbledore quietly. “Think about what you are saying. This door has been locked since I left the ward ten minutes ago. Madam Pomfrey, have these students left their beds?” “Of course not!” said Madam Pomfrey, bristling. “I would have heard them!” “Well, there you have it, Severus,” said Dumbledore calmly. “Unless you are suggesting that Harry and Hermione are able to be in two places at once, I’m afraid I don’t see any point in troubling them further.” Snape stood there, seething, staring from Fudge, who looked thoroughly shocked at his behavior, to Dumbledore, whose eyes were twinkling behind his glasses. Snape whirled about, robes swishing behind him, and stormed out of the ward. “Fellow seems quite unbalanced,” said Fudge, staring after him. “I’d watch out for him if I were you, Dumbledore.” “Oh, he’s not unbalanced,” said Dumbledore quietly. “He’s just suffered a severe disappointment.”

Poor Snape. Book 3 was really bad for him. Dealing with Remus' passive aggression. Having to brew wolfsbane potion for the guy who nearly killed him years ago and said guy not seeming to care too much about said detail. Dealing with Sirius again and having him escape. Then having Dumbles gaslight him - sometimes I just have to shake my head at his old man. What a shady character. Can't believe people call these men friends. Dumbles is not Snape's friend. A friend doesn't get amusement from their friend's uncontrollable rage. Not to mention I don't know how Snape can truly be friends with the man who was his headmaster in school - the age difference is too great for a close friendship IMO. Plus Dumbles contributed to making Snape's school life hell. I literally don't understand how Snape could be friends with him OR Minerva.

If I were a better writer, I would write a fic where Snape tells both Voldy and Dumbles to screw themselves, throws Lily's memory in the trash where it belongs, moves far away from Hogwarts, opens up a successful apothecary and marries and has a small family with a lovely woman who adores him. I just want this poor man to have all the good things in the world and leave Harry's dim witted butt to someone else. There are fics where this happens...but they tend to make Snape gay for some reason :'(. Why is it so hard to have Snape marry a woman??

PS: I kind of like seeing Snape and Draco lose their absolute marbles over Harry. I feel bad for them but it is still amusing to see :')

[dolybun]

do you get it now?

[honeyroseluv]

𝐁𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐨 '𝟔𝟔 𓏲 ˖ ࣪ . 🦢 ࿐ ˚.

Vincent Gallo - Christina Ricci

Date: 1998

(Photos edited by me) 💌✨

[kittycatto]

Every time someone makes a one-sided Edelweiss ANYTHING my heart shirnks and suffers. Why would u do that to me .