#but somehow im bad enough at games to fuck that up

[queerloquial]

whining about pointless things in tags

[piplupod]

searchengine dot com clicks search bar typing "how do i make peace with the fact that i am living a life that is the situation i was terrified of ending up in as a kid. how do i make peace with the fact that my younger self would've killed themself if they saw where we are now because the only reason they stayed alive was for a dream that has been relatively recently rendered impossible forever. how do i continue to pretend that i am just the same as everyone else and a-okay when i feel like i need to scream for help nearly constantly. how do i make peace with a situation that makes me feel nauseous to simply think about and remember i exist in."

[designernishiki]

sometimes i kinda wish mirei wasn't killed off because boy the divorced exes dynamic with majima could've been so god damn funny

[nomairuins]

also its so dumb that one of the arguments ppl have against a sims 5 is that theyve already invested too much money into ea. like yes its fucking scummy that ea charges so much for dlc and its Ludicrous the amt sims 4 costs if you have all the cc and its going to keep getting more and more expensive but . to be honest . why are you paying for sims packs. im sry

[the-angel-of-the-bottomless-pit]

also god my expectations were skewed so hard because i got the other speedrun achievement solely by accident because i play games like i dont want to be there. like i am DESPERATE to escape and i can only do so by finishing and there's a bomb set to explode in 10 milliseconds. but suddenly i try to do this shit on purpose and OOHHH-

this game has my ass studying the map trying to figure out quickest routes, LIKE ACTUALLY. GIVING MORE OF A FUCK THAN I'VE HAD TO FOR A VIDEO GAME and it's just leaning in to bite my face instead of kiss me; bitch i love you and i put so much effort into you why are you beating the shit out of me <3

[kalims]

ㅤdorm leaders being savages

summary. basically some backstabber mf tries to 'steal' him and... this is where the savage part starts

featuring. dorm leaders

content. bad friend, gender neutral reader, brutal rejection 😭

note. a full post after a while :')

malleus

I mean it's not like he would notice anyways, again. I firmly believe human and fae courting traditions are vastly different and c'mon... he doesn't even know what the fuck flirting is do you really think he'd get their intentions. 💀

when they start to slide up an arm in places he's quite bothered about, (cause guy is so whipped that he won't let anyone but him touch you.) he isn't even happy that someone is near his proximity anymore, not scared and whatnot.

just he no likey.

AND HES NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE ROMANTIC HE JUST SHRUGS THEM OFF EVERYTIME. he's just a genuine innocent lil' dude who wants his lover to come and save him from this touchy, weird, human.

no child of man cause that's your name ‼️

while he may not get it, he's got a feeling, sixth sense of sorts and when he sees it he's backing tf up away. he's not gonna entertain the doubts.

also he still doesn't get it in the end lmaoooo, he's avoiding all their advances thinking it's a part of human... culture? that he wasn't made aware of.

if they start putting in the forbidden words in the same sentence as your name you know shits going down, suddenly he's not that confused, oblivious, cute guy that they saw but a much colder shell.

when his eyes darken, and it starts storming they'd had better run, he's been kind enough to stay even with their relentless annoying behavior but that is where he crosses the line fr.

don't even be surprised when they get hit by lightning and end up in the infirmary or something, malleus didn't even say anything to them cause he believes actions speaks louder than words... *sends touchy, weird human to the nurse.* see?

someone insults him: ?

someone insults you: 😠😡🤬👿🌩⚡

just goes: "your friend is very unpleasant, I'd appreciate it if you refrain from spending time with them."

something unsaid; spend all of that time with me duhhh

idia

you know what I'm surprised someone actually likes him tbh 😭 except us because we're all built different and we love disgustang discord mod behavior.

you know what's even more surprising? the fact that idia is actually seen by your friend group. I swear he comes out of his room like once a day and that's just because he's craving something else that isn't in his food stock and he's just gonna rob whose mac n' cheese was in the microwave.

and that's literally in his DORM ONLY.

he's like a vampire and allergic to sunlight, he's more willing to come out in the middle of the night because that's when the least 'normies' are scattered around like flies.

(if that counts for anything at all??)

but hanging out is more fun and if you somehow managed to convince idia to come with you with your friends for some well needed, 'socializing' then you're in luck!

besides that you had to bet one of your items in that open world game you played together... all is good!

im like 99% sure idia is disgusted by any other touch from other people, besides you? cause if you touch him he's just embarrassed... but in terms of the disgusted faction, you've been there before.

he immediately spots their intentions cause he definitely plays otome games and this is one of them cliche scenarios to 'spice up' the plot by invoking jealousy in it.

only difference is its him, you and this... random.

if they weren't already offended by the absolute mortification and disgust on his face, somehow continuing to 'rizz' him up.. oh boy. it's gonna get worse.

he's got the worst fucking 3rd grade insults like... "back away from me you noob, are you supposed to be their friend?" he scoffs, surprising them cause they thought he was gonna be that red flag discord romance experience.

"sorry but im not really sorry. i don't associate myself with lower levels such as yourself, try to come back when you're higher but I doubt they'd accept a fiend back."

LIKE WHO USES NOOB AS AN INSULT?

when you come back he's steering you away, pulling on the hem of your sleeves practically begging to come home with the promise of 'grinding that outrageous drop rate item you've asked his help with.'

something unsaid; doxxing them as soon as I get back

vil

ok this one I get.

who wouldn't want vil... it's not like I've made the entirety of the fandom known about my obsession with him as my favorite character or anything, not at all... jokes aside he's a very prominent candidate, he's hot and rich. you get it?

forget about the other qualities because we all known those two can carry someone in life alone, life in luxury and fame? sign them up ASAP.

besides your boyfriend being one of the superstar actors, models, the dream jobs for a dream man even your friends had a hard time believing you. you should be offended that they even considered that you were clinically.. delusional.

plus you didn't even seem to know about vil before so how are you dating him?!

they found out the hard way and safe to say they're flabbergasted because what even?

of course out of everyone here, vil has the most experience in terms of being approached on a baseless appearance only, he's iffed by how fast people get infatuated when they're barely scratching the surface of him.

well, you somehow dug your way deep with a shovel so you're the only exception he will allow...

at this point he knows what to expect the moment one of your friends gave him a look he's all the well too accustomed to. it's easy to ignore the ones he sees in crowds cause there's always some type of fence blocking them from fully proclaiming their love or something.

problem here is that this person has no obstacles and he can tell they're waiting for an opportunity to strike like a snake. *texts the pomefiore gc to tell them about this SNAKE!*

honey this is a big NO for him, you need to consider your circle of friends if one of them immediately starts folding around like this and wastes what? a longer friendship with you? please, he's known his stylists more and they literally get replaced every single day.

he's giving them the biggest, sassiest side eye ever. putting a palm up before they even get to speak because frankly, he does not want to hear it.

they open their knarly mouth. "i—"

he raises a finger. "no."

a frown. "but i—"

"shush."

he can do this forever.

when you come back he's still giving a bombastic, criminal offensive side eye, mentally thinking on how to ruin this person's life in media of course! his natural domain. just one word and the rest of his army will attack fr.

vil usually doesn't do this but seriously? that was another level of low.

also he's just by your side, you don't even have to say that he's your boyfriend because he's lowkey rubbing it in their face that he is in fact, taken.

"next time you try to see me again, might as well buy one of the tickets to my fan signings because you’re not seeing me again otherwise.. well, not like you can afford it anyways." *fabulous hair flip*

something unsaid; either way I'll kick you out if you try to get in

kalim

most safest person to flirt with, even if you're friends with their lover but also the most impossible to actually try and 'steal.'

the thing about kalim is that he's adorably stupid, not to degrade him in any shape or form but he's so oblivious about everything that you could consider it as one of his redeemable traits to be adorable.

he takes everything you say so seriously to the point where if you joke about wanting to water an entire continent he's just there with his carpet waiting for you cause he's gonna do exactly that.

"you're in luck cause I have a lot of water in me!" pops his non existent guns on his arms. (he is talking about his unique magic..)

it takes a remarkable mind to be like... that but you like him all the well about it, compliment his stupid-ness and he'll just grin, flush a little and laugh loudly as he compliments you back. not an ounce of anger in his tiny body.

red eyes but what a bright heart!

the type of guy that goes. "any friend of yours is a friend of mine!" so when he meets your friend group, casually just throws them a grand ball. they don't know whether to be flattered or.. concerned cause this is pretty weird.

not only was one of your friends awed over the mere value of many things inside the dorm he renovated, apparently his very huge bank full of gold was something to gasp over too.

and that's exactly what they did. (I mean get that bag sis but that bag is already owned by someone else and that's you... so that's not slay of you, random friend.)

here's when his nature proves to be quite relenting, even after many flirting, even using those cringe pickup lines from the internet, he just won't budge! it's getting irritating cause they're sure the people already heard the embarrassing words coming out of their mouth.

also that they were flirting with a non-legally married man. (to you ofc ofc.)

kalim either laughs at them because he thinks they were jokes, and just funny or laughs just because he's kalim.

he didn't really mind the casual touches at first, maybe it was friendly? he does it all the time after all but there was a stinking feeling that it felt weird and that alone was weird cause friendly pats were supposed to feel good.

not with you though cause those feel great!

accidentally shuts them down cause they're feeling like a third wheel when you come back after a bathroom break and it's like a total contrast to how he was treating them.

how do you seriously not notice kalim now unintentionally flirting with you?! are both of you airheads?!

he was literally all over you when you quipped up a "hi, I'm back."

and he was like; "welcome back :DDDD!!!!" if it wasn't already obvious they'd even add floating hearts emojis all over his head.

something unsaid; girl he didn't even notice anything was up...

azul

kinda a 50/50?

I'm not sure if most people really dig the whole 'bad reputation' thing. he's friends with the most terrifying twins in the entire campus, notably scammed a lot of people, can give wishes with an extreme price.

oh yeah he runs monstro lounge too but that just means he won't have time to spend with a lover.

that's their own imagination but azul's actually very sweet and gets some overworked junior to do the work for him, usually jade since floyd just leaves if he's given the job. JUST so he can go fret over which tie to use for your unofficial date.

despite him annoyed and losing sleep 24/7 because of the tweels he still asks them which one to use, jade's opinion is most trustworthy since floyd picks the neon, vibrant ones. (don't question why he even owns it.)

I doubt he actually likes people though, anyone else than you? hard pass. he's a simp through and through but unlike idia who can't mask the mortification and disgust on his face even at the cost of his life, good thing that masks are one of the many things azul is good at.

he slips up sometimes cause he genuinely thinks it's embarrassing that they're doing whatever this is to him, (well more of an attempt?) and to you, who is also their friend and his lover.

slip up as in his eye twitches, he flinches away a little too fast when they touch him, and his smile wobbles.

I mean no one would notice if he uses his magic on one, singular person...

mentally makes a note to remember whoever this was cause they're not stepping foot in octavinelle ever again.

+ an object of fun for the tweels. #gotormentthatlife!!

he's just a polite guy, so he won't just straight up insult them but he does warn them. the only thing holding him back from cooking a whole table is the crowd that would definitely spread the news of him going batshit.

like; "could you please, stop this? I hope you're not as stupid as you make yourself out to be because if you think I'm an idiot to not know what you're doing.. "

meanwhile his mind; "ugh this bitch. [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]."

I mean he's not that intimidating ALONE but when he gets all threatening like that (🥰) he could pass for an assassin fr.

just gets the tweels to deal with them cause he does not have the patience to deal with this backstabbing ho and it's wasting his precious time that should have been spent talking with you.

ugh he did not spend like 30 whole minutes picking out his tie and gloves just for this.

azul when he sees you coming back: 😇

something unsaid; [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted] [redacted].

leona

oh boy, cover your eyes cause we're stepping onto another level of SAVAGE. you don't call lions that for NOTHING ‼️ beastman or just beast.

has the least filter out of everyone, as in he just doesn't give a single fuck, he's the chillest (agressive) guy on the twst planet so if the thought of wanting to insult some stranger that doesn't have a significance in his life at all pops up in his mind he ain't gonna change it lol.

gives the stinkiest eyes, even his tail and ears pause to synchronize with his thoughts cause if they had googly eyes they'd have a side eye too.

if he's laying down and they try pulling him upwards, tryna latch onto him? *just shoves them cutely.* problem solved.

leona's nice enough to let them off without losing something cause you really do mean something to him if he's holding back for your expense knowing that this is one of your 'friends.'

they don't even deserve to be called that!

like no one interrupts his peaceful nap times except for when he stands up to interrupt it himself just to drag you down with him.

wait so basically anyone but him???

he, really doesn't want to waste energy on this fool and to be honest they're really boring him since you went out to grab something you forgot. (but knowing this person for less than an hour in his life, they probably had something to do with that too.) so you aren't here to give him a reason to stay awake.

them rambling but in leona's eyes they're a blurry figure cause he's really sleepy.

then suddenly he's an iphone promax when he's looking at you 💀

if they already didn't take a hint from his earlier shove, the dirt isn't the only thing he's gonna shove someone into. there's a lake there for a reason other than keeping a home for the fishes y'know. never would know if they eat people too. /j

"would you shut up?"

yeah that's all he says but we all know how sharp it is to hear that from somebody so they immediately shut up. there's absolutely no need for any waste on energy of them, just one look from him and they're SILENT.

hopefully embarrassed too cause wtf was that??

unfortunately he can't fully enjoy his usually relaxing nap cause this random is corrupting the atmosphere even when they're silent, I swear they could shift and leona feels like one step closer to smacking 'it.'

ignored them every single time they tried to call out to him LOUDLY before but when you just silently step back on the field, he already peeks out an eye??? like no words needed.

what love does to a mf... sighs... another cold male lead we've lost to romance because of our mc <4

something unsaid; I was really questioning if keeping myself from strangling someone was worth it. took more effort than doing it literally

riddle

I'd have a crush on him too tbh.

unlike azul who already knew their intentions from the start, polite enough to kindly drop signs that he's not interested. riddle doesn't get it, he's just polite as well but also confused?

like he doesn't know they're tryna flirt, but he does think their actions are strange like c'mon. why are they trying to feel him up? he has no idea except the thought that he doesn't like it at all.

also it feels like he's betraying you so he just straight up pulls their arm away off of him firmly and shakes his head.

"stop this behavior."

he sighs.

surprisingly he's patient but also impatient???

consider this the first and last warning cause he WILL excuse himself if it ever goes on, riddle can wait for you browse through a whole store with him following you around and playfully commenting on your taste but can't wait for their attitude to get better.

he ain't gonna waste any more of his precious minutes on this period.

I don't know how to explain it, he's totally unaware of what they want, which is him ironically. but the reason he's rejecting their advances is because he's so devoted and a simp for you.

not a lot of people have the balls to converse or touch around him carelessly like that so freely so isn't it basic human courtesy to hold off all the physical affection till they're more acquainted?

well, not that riddle's not gonna let their current relationship advance any further from strangers at this point...

he's so loyal to you that it's cute jabskans.

riddle sticks to his principles, and he certainly has his own preferences for the personality of people. one of the traits he despises is when they don't understand his earlier warnings.

of course riddle isn't very forgiving, they're lucky they were even given a chance before cause even he, doesn't spare his dorm members a second chance when they break a rule he's been plenty lenient with.

so if you were given a chance, you better take it cause he's not giving you another.

like how since you did take your chance he's not gonna let you go now 😍.

isn't the type to be rude to people for matters he deems conflict being easily avoidable so he just makes up a believable excuse and walks away loool.

and they're like thinking; didn't he say he was tired and had to sleep since he stayed up planning the unbirthday party... why is he having a tea date with you???

suddenly he didn't look too tired at all compared to when he randomly slumped to look exhausted before??

something unsaid; 🥰🍵 what a successful unbirthday party *forgets about them immediately cause you're both having an unofficial date.*

note. ok so something unsaids are basically that but don't misunderstand, it's something they didn't say.

[poppy-metal]

naaaahhhhh im not normal abt dads bsf patrick at all 😭😭😭 after your unacceptable intrusion he definitely gets furious with you, maybe says some things he doesn't mean in the heat of the moment. Then you're gone. He feels like a piece of shit, not being able to get you out of his mind, overthinking in the ungodly hours of the night about how he should've reacted instead. Next time he's fucking the same woman on his bed, with her long, slender legs wrapped around his hips, he thinks of you. Your sweet, hopeful smile, the blush on your cheeks after he hugs you, your beautiful eyes looking up at him like he was the best thing in the world, a man to be worshipped. Fuck...he cums. Cums right then and there. This was not going to end well.

none of us are normal

because he hates that you got into his head. he didn’t even think of you that way. for once, he wasn't a shitty person to a girl in his life. he was like, a good male figure in your life. kinda sorta. definitely not a role model, but someone who cared about you. and it wasn't tainted - and then you'd gone and ruined it when you started crushing on him. you were desperately obvious about it, with your crop tops and short shorts and wanting to be around him more and more. big batting lashes and singing his praises.

you'd ruined it - because he's not a good man, and he noticed your body. he'd noticed and he'd had reactions to it and he'd worked to keep thos reactions under wraps, putting distance between you, making himself less available. you'd find someone your age, he was sure. you only wanted him because he was older and 'bad' in your eyes. rugged and forbidden. every girl who grew up too sweetly wanted to be corrupted. it was boredom. he'd chased the same things when he was younger and bored. women older than him, girls he couldn't have. it was the thrill. patrick fucking loved the thrill. he still did.

but he was older now. and you were his best friends daughter. and there had to be a line there, somewhere.

but then you'd gone and ruined that too, when you'd cried in his kitchen because he had another woman over. like he was betraying you somehow. and he knew he'd probably not drawn the line deep enough in the sand as he should have.

he remembered your face when he told you, you shouldn't come around anymore - that it wasn't appropriate - how you'd gotten all misty eyed like he'd pulled the rug out from under you and asked if that meant he didn't like you anymore and he'd closed his eyes because he was in alot deeper shit than he thought if you were worried about him liking you. it wasn't about that. he cared about you. but it wasn't. it couldn't be - anything. because you were young and impressionable and his fucking best friends daughter, for fucks sake.

he'd seen you as a baby. held you in his arms when you were a toddler and bounced you on his shoulders. do you know how fucked it is, you wanting him to feel something for you when he remembers what you looked like all chubby cheeked with baby fat and missing teeth you'd put under your pillow for the tooth fairy? do you know what kind of person you're asking him to be when you walk into his home with your nipples poking through your shirs and acting like a little fucking housewife?

do you want to ruin his life? ruin his relationship with your dad? ruin whats left of his conscious? and all for, what? a good fuck from an older man? a quick step into the wild side before you skipped on back happily to the white picket fence you live behind and go back to dating men your own age? is that it? you want him to fuck you - teach you what its like to cum - before you settle down?

his life isn't a fucking game or a dalliance. he's fucking fed up with you and your blasé attitude. you're nothing but a spoiled fucking brat.

that'd made you cry. big fat tears. and of course he'd felt like shit. like someone had reached into his chest and punched his heart. girls like you shouldn't cry.

"but-" you'd blubbered. "its n-not a game to me. i love you- i want you -"

fuck. fuck, fuck. fuck.

over and over again in his head.

"dont say that." in a cracked voice. "god, please. dont fucking say that. you dont mean it -"

"i do!" trembling jaw and determined tear filled eyes pinning him in place. you had so much fire in you. "you think i want to feel this way? that i dont know how fucked up it is? that i havent tried to feel different? you're not some - some ride on the wild side i wanna take - you're the only person i think about. do you get that? im supposed to be thinking about guys from the football team. shawn from fucking economics. but all i can fucking think about is you. you're in my dreams! you're everywhere. its not fair! its not fair you're everything and i have to deal with it alone - you cant - you cant s-say i dont mean what i feel - you cant say that - you dont know- "

its blurry after that. he thinks he stood there in shock for a moment. he thinks he said some mean shit. insensitive shit. shit that made you run out of his house in tears. he didn't go after you.

you can't have feelings for him. you can't. it'd be too destructive. the last time patrick loved someone.... it didn't end well. and that was without the whole essential power dynamic and grooming situation going on. shit. had he groomed you? that thought haunted him more than he wanted to admit. and not in ways he was proud of.

he'd tried to put you out of his mind. buried himself in other women - in their slick welcoming bodies - but the thinks of you during - which. fuck.

he cant help it and its entirely your fault.

he has a perfectly hot woman under him and she's doing all the right things - clenching on his cock - raking her nails down his back - moaning his name - and all he can think about is your pink nail polish - girlish and sparkly - gripping onto the muscles of his shoulders and back.

all he can think about is your sweet voice and how it'd sound in different tones like when you're begging for it harder or crying out because he's so big - he's sure he'd tear you open- that the tears he saw on your face in his kitchen would look so much better sliding down your cheeks when its his cock you're crying on.

he thinks most horribly of your pussy. the tight grip of it - how small and new you'd be - how he'd get to crack you wide open, split you apart, teach you all the ways to please a man, all the way your body can bend to take him inside you. have you ever thought about having something in your ass? because he'd want to take it. put his tongue and fingers there - bully his cock in next - god, that bratty little mouth - he could really fucking punish it, couldn't he? punish you for saying whimsical shit like you think about him all the time.

would you still look up at him with those big worshipful eyes with your throat full of his cock and drool spilling down your chin? if you wanted him so much - would you let him do whatever he wanted? with that same adoration in your eyes?

he cums with that thought in mind. has to bite the womans shoulder so he doesn't groan your name. his cum fills up the condom and all he can think is, if it was you under him, he'd be inside you raw.

[xixovart]

lost trio headcanons because theyre my mini fixation for the day

for starters i’d like to remind you that the first time jason felt like a person and not a soldier was when he was with leo and piper

ok now actual headcsnons

jason’s hair grew out after a bit and ended up covering the scar (“undercut”) he has on the side of his head from that one bullet. leo likes to surprise people by putting jason’s hair up bc its funny to see their reactions

l: “and look—secret undercut!!”

j: “it’s not an undercut leo, it’s a scar”

p: “the bullet didn’t even touch your skin drama queen”

j: “might’ve. my head could’ve exploded and—“

[groaning and arguing and leo laughing]

—canon convo guys rick told me

leo knows a lot of car games which is very beneficial for long days on the argo ii

piper always has a lollipop in her mouth and no one knows where they come from

leo comes up with the oddest nicknames and piper and jason are just. so used to it? jason could be talking to like reyna or smth and leo will come up to him and say

l: “oh hey jason gracer razor blazer”

j: “hi leo”

r: “what the fuck”

leo is really bad at picking up social clues so jason does it for him

the wildnerness school had a really early curfew that piper and leo blatantly ignored

they would stay out and wander the halls and hide in classrooms whenever a teacher was nearby

leo was poor and homeless, jason was raised with no regards to currency, spending, or finances, and piper is a nepo baby. the ultimate trio dynamic. arguing for hours about whether $50 is a lot or not (it is.)

leo shares food as a love language

jason loves video games, surprisingly enough (mario kart. MARIO KART.)

piper is constantly taking leo’s and jason’s stuff. hair ties, jewelry, mostly clothes, also mostly food, leo’s homework,

the trio has a movie marathon every friday night. there’s blanket forts, gummy worms, matching pjs, and fairy lights involved. they borrow rachel’s cave, since cabin 1 is too depressing and the aphrodite and hephaestus cabins are way too packed (sometimes rachel hangs around for a bit :D)

picture me this. it’s winter, the lake is frozen over. they somehow find ice skates. utter chaos. leo fancies himself a figure skater, jason is on all fours because he keeps falling, and piper actually did figure skating as a kid

GUYS GUYS THE TRIO GOING ON A QUEST AND HAVING TO HIJACK AN UPPER-CLASS PARTY/GATHERING IM LOSING MY SHIT IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES

im gonna have to draw this but like

piper giving them very strict instructions on what to do and what not to do (they end up forgetting half of it)

yk that one quote from new girl?

“where are you piper?? this place is fancy and i don’t know which fork to kms with”

that’s leo

jason just hanging around quietly and not engaging in conversation and keeping everyone under close radar like the little fucking wolf he is

everyone ends up thinking he’s a bodyguard

the trio just goes along with it

YH THATS IT I HAVE MORE I THINK BUT THIS IS GETTING WAY TOO LONG SOOO BYE LOSERS GOODNIGHT AND DONR FORGET RO SLEEP EAT AND DRINK WATER (you hear that, @kindred-spirit-93? water. not pink milk. water./j)

[mono-dot-jpeg]

some real nagi thoughts

a/n; it's some god gamer nagi time. as a gamer myself, i want some real gamer shit in headcanons. we may want a duo in gaming but only in genshin??? HELL NO. im like half sorry to genshin players. there's probably some crazy power creep in that, with the amount of characters they have now

[implied to be no blue lock project]

unapologetic gamer! nagi who hate matching pfps and usernames. do you know how weird those can get, especially on the horniest fps games? he doesn't hate you for the idea, he hates the reputation that comes with it.

unapologetic gamer! nagi who plays (mostly) everything, mmos, rpgs, card battlers, moba, rts, auto battlers, etc. he does not limit himself (kind of), and he's okay with playing games on his own.

unapologetic gamer! nagi who cannot simply pause his online matches for you. you'll have a damn hard time getting him off those ones. "it's too much of a bother to leave the match now, i'll get a timeout if i leave."

unapologetic gamer! nagi who hates gacha games because "it's always more of a cash grab than most games i even play." and he plays games from riot and ea company.

unapologetic gamer! nagi who has definitely went free to play on other games just out of pure spite when he heard about how bad genshin was. "there's no excuse for them to be so stingy, they didn't learn from honkai impact."

unapologetic gamer! nagi who loves gore and horror games more than anything. he won't stop playing those. he'll be considerable enough to play away from you if you hate them, but he's like locked in, headphones on max, and stuck in his chair. you're not getting him back for hours.

unapologetic gamer! nagi who plays slow games despite how much they make him tired. he can't play life/farming sims because of this. he can do his best to speedrun it but he gets impatient.

unapologetic gamer! nagi who jumps from game to game. he gets fixated on different games every few months. when you see him, he's talking about them casually, or he's infodumping everything he physically can. he has that little passionate shine in his eyes, like when he plays a good game of soccer.

unapologetic gamer! nagi who plays ranked like the loser he is. he doesn't really care about the toxic people in those matches. he likes a challenge. but he does unintentionally rile people up though with his nonchalant and blunt words. don't play ranked with this man, he is in diamond/low masters, and he is so tilted about it even if he doesn't say it.

unapologetic gamer! nagi who definitely needs to be taken care of. god help him, reo was a godsend to deal with his shit. when he gets tilted, he's somehow even more lazier than he normally is. "being angry is such a hassle." but you know he's fucking pissed off out of his mind about to smash his desk about that one bad match that gets him de-ranked.

[oswalish]

rahhhh random rant because i’m angry hater mood i HATE HATE HATE people who think miss goldberg did anything to marvin. saw someone go “set those sails is a villain song and people need to accept miss goldberg is a bad person” i’m screaming and crying and clawing at the walls you don’t fucking understand it you don’t understand the goddamn musical.

in trousers is at its core about misogyny, that is its core theme, which is shown by how marvin hurts the women in his life, specifically his wife, his sweetheart, and miss goldberg. it would conflict the themes and narrative if miss goldberg hurt marvin, as this would diminish what marvin does to the other women. marvin does come up with excuses for his actions/ tries to garner sympathy in the musical (im talking 1979 vers here, i’m not as well versed on the 1985) he is immediately hit with trina shutting him down with her telling us how his actions have hurt her more than they’ve hurt him.

another thing is that the women are mostly not themselves, but rather versions of themselves that exist in marvin’s head. this doesn’t apply to trina, as she is the only woman in the musical who tells her own story. for example, your lips and me and its reprise tell us very specifically events that are happening in her life and how she’s feeling, she also tells her about her past. she also addresses marvin directly in breakfast over sugar.

whereas his sweetheart and miss goldberg do not have songs like this. “my highschool sweetheart” doesn’t tell us anything about his sweetheart other than that she’s his sweetheart, she’s a person, and that she wants marvin to pay attention to her more. but there honestly isn’t much in the musical to confirm that she actually is a person at all, she insists her own existence but marvin never pays attention to her or even addresses her existence, in childhood or adulthood.

miss goldberg is interesting. she doesn’t play into marvin’s fantasy and feels like more of a real person than his sweetheart, having her own personality and opinions. she also sings i am wearing a hat where she seems to tell part of a story that could be her own, though it doesn’t really get more specific than “i’m wearing a hat, i am unloved”. she never quite seems to behave like a schoolteacher either, within the story she seems to be more of a narrator, likely due to her importance in marvin’s story. she is the biggest case of marvin insisting his heterosexually, while also forcing him to realise he is gay. she is not actually herself within the musical, the real miss goldberg is probably nothing like her. this is an internalised version of her than marvin came up with, though it’s more authentic feeling than his sweetheart since her role is to pull marvin out of his fantasies, since she’s probably the only way marvin can actually be honest with himself and recognise his actions.

many people bring up the lines “you might tell me you’re a victim, you might get what you deserve, but i won’t excuse, boy i cant excuse, a boy who’s lost his nerve” which i will admit. do not sound great, incredibly suspicious even. but taken in the context that miss goldberg is not actually saying this to marvin, and actually it’s a version of miss goldberg that marvin has made up to make himself “behave properly” it starts to make sense.

marvin victimises himself a LOT. he’s self aware enough to recognise when he does wrong but tends to refuse to believe that it’s truly his fault, and that he’s the victim somehow. this is pretty obvious in falsettos but it’s also true in in trousers. he sings a lot of songs trying to portray himself as the victim, facing a lot of opposition from the women. this is shown in How Marvin Eats His Breakfast where he is sure that he’s in the right and is the victim because he’s not getting what he wants, and the women in the song directly oppose him by describing all the insane things he’s doing and even insulting him. it’s also shown in The Nausea Before the Game, where he’s lamenting about how his life is so hard, and how trying to live up to societies expectations is nauseating (this is a very simplified analysis of the song, i do actually thing marvin’s feelings in this song are valid but that’s an entirely different conversation). the song transitions into his wife singing about how she met him, how he ghosted her for weeks but then came back. that part of the song is much more tragic than marvin’s, essentially telling the listener that while his feelings are valid, he also seriously hurt and damaged this woman, and that that cannot be forgotten. the musical never ever lets us believe that marvin is the victim, despite his insistence.

and then every pony, is what i think the first line of that quote is referring to. how marvin is convinced that he is the victim, he is telling *himself* that. and the part of himself who knows that isn’t true manifests as miss goldberg to tell him that no, no you aren’t. no matter what marvin says, he will never be the victim, he is the one hurting others.

“you might get what you deserve” is slightly more difficult. i can’t really tell if it’s positive or negative. it could either refer to how he got what he deserved by being in a loveless marriage, or how he got what he deserved by leaving his wife and kids (and bird) to leave with whizzer. personally i think it’s the second, going with how marvin is convinced that he’s the victim, he’s convinced him leaving his wife for whizzer is what he deserves after going through so much. he thinks he deserves something good for once. and like yay bro for breaking out of your forced heterosexuality but did you have to destroy your wife’s entire life in the process? when i say marvin isn’t a victim i do mean in the context of the musical, marvin is very much a victim of society and heteronormativity, but he is NOT a victim of any of the women in the musical, which he likes to pretend he is. it’s easier to blame them than himself.

“but i won’t excuse, boy i can’t excuse, a boy who’s lost his nerve.” much simpler to understand, the miss goldberg inside marvin’s head is very much the voice of outside influence, aka wider society, the one that expects him to conform. she can’t excuse him “loosing his nerve” by deciding to cheat on his wife with a man and run away with said nerve.

anyway i hope this yap session help y’all understand that marvin was never harmed by miss goldberg (nor do i think he did anything to her, other than probably be off putting and creepy like an average 14 year old is) i doubt anyone will see this but i loooooove talking about this stupid musical so ask questions please please please or else i’ll post 5 MILLION of these because i can’t stop thinking about this musical

[tkaulitzlvr]

I NEED A PT2 TO THE 'DID U MEAN IT' ANGST PLEAAAAAAAAAASE IM BEGGING

DID YOU MEAN IT (2)- T. KAULITZ

synopsis: you see tom for the first time after calling off your casual hookups - unsure of what to make of tom’s confession after he says something that makes them so much more. it seems that he has had a change of heart, determined to put things straight, no matter how hard you resist.

content: angst & smut

a/n: lowk forgot i even wrote did you mean it LOL, i meant to write a part two a few days after but that never happened😭i’d recommend u read part one before this to remind urself of what happened cause this has sat in my drafts for weeks and i have finally found the motivation to finish it🔥

“truth or dare guys come on!”

a noticeably tipsy voice shouts over the loud music, everybody placing their drinks down and walking over to the large circle that begins to form in the centre of the living room. i contemplate joining, swirling the drink in my hand aimlessly, praying that no one will notice me. normally i would rush towards games like this, enjoying the thrill that came along with them. but that excitement is replaced with dread, because he is here.

my friends hadn’t told me that tom would be at this party - knowing that i would never have agreed to come if i had found out. but it was far too late to leave now, my breath catching in my throat when i had spotted him from the other side of the room, my heart aching as the wound of whatever we had is still fresh. and he spotted me too - his eyes locking onto mine, no longer paying attention to the small blonde clinging onto his frame. though a couple weeks had passed since i had walked out, i know that i’m not ready to speak to him yet, so for the rest of the party i ignore him, despite the obvious glances that he sends my way.

and i was able to do so easily - until now. a game like truth or dare means that i have to face him directly, something which i have strictly avoided. my eyes are glued to his frame - adorned in baggy attire as usual - as he joins the circle himself, no longer accompanied by the girl he was with when i arrived. and just when i think i have managed to get away with missing out on the game, i am dragged over to the circle by one of my friends, unable to resist her strangely strong grip. as i near the circle, tom’s eyes dart to mine, somehow spotting me out of his peripheral vision. if my luck wasn’t bad enough, my friend sits just a few seats beside him, tom now not even a metre away from me, this the closest we have been since we last fucked. i ignore his eyes clearly burning into mine, focusing on the glass bottle that is placed in the centre, watching as it begins to spin around.

“the first person it lands on has to choose truth or dare, the second chooses what they have to do.”

the bottle begins to slow after a few seconds, everybody’s eyes fixed on it - everybody’s except tom’s, who still refuses to tear his gaze away from my body. i groan internally when the glass bottle finally stops, landing directly on me. it spins again, landing on some random guy who i hadn’t seen before.

“truth or dare?”

“dare.” i state confidently, deciding that if i am sitting here, i might as well do something fun, rather than answer a shitty question that would probably be along the lines of ‘what’s your body count?’ or ‘where’s the craziest place you’ve had sex?’

“i dare you…” the guy pauses, visibly contemplating over what to instruct me to do, adjusting himself in his seat before continuing. “to sit on the hottest guy in the room’s lap for five minutes.”

seriously? i scoff quietly at his dare, wondering how he failed to come up with something at least a little more interesting. though when i lock eyes with the brunette that had been eyeing me up the entire night, it suddenly doesn’t seem that bad. he is cute, soft brunette curls adorning his structured face, deep green eyes and plump lips, i had spotted him almost as soon as i had entered the party. and he had seen me too, sending me quick glances and smiling at me. the opportunity seems perfect as i grasp it with open arms, standing up and adjusting my dress that was probably too short.

though as i begin to walk over, my steps are quickly restrained as a hand wraps itself firmly around my wrist, pulling me backward to sit on their lap. i turn around, a familiar pair of brown eyes looking back at me, his expression harsh, jaw clenched and gaze darkened. he doesn’t seem at all fazed, his hand remaining firmly on my wrist as he adjusts himself, ignoring the quiet gasps that sound from the people around us. all i can do is stare, somehow unable to scold him like sober me would. i don’t even contemplate getting up just yet, far too shocked to do anything but stare into his eyes, ones that i hadn’t seen since i had caused tears to spill from them the last time we had been this close.

“start the timer.” tom mumbles just loud enough for the rest of the circle to hear, his voice low as he refuses to look away from me. he adjusts my position on his lap, his hands moving to rest on my waist securely.

“what the fuck are you doing-”

“who is that guy?” he completely ignores my question, tightening his hold on me and pulling me even closer, diverting his gaze to the brunette who i had intended to walk over to, though like everyone else he is submerged in conversation with his friends.

“i don’t know.” i groan, feeling his arms tighten around my waist once again, pulling me in so my back is flat against his chest. i hear him tut behind me, his low breaths seeming to get closer and closer to my ear. “maybe i would if you hadn’t fucking pulled me over here-”

“i wouldn’t even let you find out his fucking name.” he quickly cuts me off, voice laced with an anger i hadn’t ever heard before, far beyond the heat of the moment frustration he had displayed a few weeks ago. this time jealousy edges it, the idea of me wanting to entertain another man leaving a bitter taste in his mouth. his lips are now centimetres away from my ear, close enough to be able to just ghost over it, but he stops himself. “you won’t speak to anyone else. because we’re talking about what happened, mhm? that guy isn’t going anywhere fucking near you.”

i scoff at his statement, his bold attitude somewhat amusing. he hadn’t been this possessive ever - when we were fuck buddies we would have sex, then he left. he would take me out for food sometimes, though it always ended in the same way - wrapped up in some random hotel room sheets with his dick inside me, leaving almost just as fast as i had entered. this is new. he had always gotten tense at any mention of me with another guy, yet he never had the guts to call me out. maybe he was jealous, but the most likely explanation is that he simply didn’t care. so why now?

i open my mouth to speak, though i am quickly cut off by the sound of a dull alarm ringing from the other side of the room. the guy that had given me the dare pulls his phone out of his pocket, ending the timer and uttering a quick ‘times up guys’. tom however doesn’t budge, keeping his hands firmly on my waist, despite it being literally impossible for him to have not heard the alarm.

i quickly detach his hands from my hips, standing up and exiting the circle before he can attempt to stop me, wanting nothing more than to be as far away from him as possible. though not because he frustrates me, not because i am seconds away from punching that jealous look off of his face, but because the butterflies that erupt in my stomach from his touch shouldn’t be there - not after i had ended things. my mind had told me that i would be fine without him, and until now i had believed myself. but fuck, i would be stupid to ignore the feeling that his presence ignites, his touch almost enough to make me run back into his arms. though i know that would be irrational, the alcohol in my system not helping my ability to make the right decision, forcing the morally correct part of me to get the fuck away from him before i make a mistake.

the music gets quieter and quieter as i carry on walking down the hallway, pressing my ear against one of the doors on the left, sighing in relief when i hear silence. my hands reach for the handle, pulling it open, silently thanking god that it is not only a bathroom, but an empty bathroom, something that is a luxury at parties of this size. i close the door behind me, turning to face the large mirror above the counter, adjusting my makeup and pulling my dress down - knowing that tom is the reason why it has rolled up so much. the mere thought of him leaves an uneasy feeling in my stomach, his actions totally unexpected and more than anything - annoying.

sure, i had been confident in my decision to cut things off before, but seeing his face and being so close to him proves too much to handle, the unexpected realisation that i am not where near over him beginning to set in. i groan loudly, resting my elbows on the marble counter and placing my head in my hands, quickly realising that i should never have come here in the first place.

the door handle begins to turn, though i don’t even have the energy to see who it is, mumbling a small ‘someone is in here’, hoping that they will move on. though the door fully opens, creaking quietly as i hear footsteps behind me.

“are you fucking deaf? i said-”

my mouth falls open when i turn around, my eyes meeting the brown ones that are the last things i want to see. his dreads hang loosely along his shoulders, tied in their usual ponytail. his expression is stern as he closes the door behind him, twisting the small lock beneath the handle.

“what the fuck do you want, tom?” i sigh, rubbing my temples as the alcohol in my system creates a small headache that begins to throb painfully. he steps a little closer as i move backward, my back hitting the cold counter behind me.

“to talk.” his voice is calm, still laced with anger as he places his hands in his pockets, his gaze never tearing away from mine.

“we have nothing to talk about.”

“don’t play that bullshit with me. we have fucking plenty to talk about.” he cuts me off firmly, tone lacking the composure it had just seconds ago, becoming more frustrated by my somewhat nonchalant attitude. in my head i am screaming, pleading, my mind thinking the exact opposite of what my voice utters, knowing that if i give in, i won’t be able to stop myself. the room turns silent, the uneasy kind that leaves a sinking feeling in your stomach, one that tempts me to leave the room and sprint home.

“i miss you.” he eventually speaks into the silence, tearing it apart with one of the most heavy sentences possible, leaving my voice caught in my throat, unable to do anything besides stare into his eyes.

“the sex you mean? me and the hookups are two different things.” my voice is harsh, probably harsher than i had intended as he scoffs at my statement, shaking his head and clearing his throat. he takes another step towards me, now within arms reach.

“why did you end it?” he completely changes the subject, tone matching the harshness of my own as his eyes narrow, feet shuffling closer to mine as his hands move to rest at either side of the counter, trapping my body between his own and the counter.

“because you said you loved me then changed your mind within ten fucking minutes. don’t act stupid tom.” i shake my head at his stupidity, wondering how he could ask such a question, the answer totally obvious. he still doesn’t budge, arms trapping me against the counter. “why do you care anyway?”

“you wanted to end it, not me. that’s why i care.” as much as it irritates me, he is right. i was the one to call off our regular hookups against his pleas not to. “and that guy is lucky he can walk out of this party alive. he’s been eye-fucking you all night.”

“so what? i’m not your’s tom. i never was. all we did was hookup, i can do what i want.” his jaw clenches at my response as he turns away from me, hands remaining fixed on the counter whilst his head is turned towards the door. he exhales loudly, his grip on the counter seeming to tighten as he grits his teeth, swallowing before looking at the ground.

“what so that’s it then? you don’t even care?” his voice raises now, not far off yelling as he finally backs away, eyes darkened as they scan my own, his expression hurt.

yes i care. of course i fucking care. my heart begs me to scream the words out, to bring him close to me and kiss him like we aren’t complicated. like we have the most simple relationship ever, even though it is everything but. we never dated, nothing beyond a regular hookup, and my heart shouldn’t ache the way it does over somebody who was never mine. somewhere within me, my rational side manages to take control, prompting me to speak after a few painful seconds of silence.

“care about what? look, i don’t understand what you want me to say. we had sex sometimes, now we don’t, that’s all there is to it. bye tom.” each word stabs me in my own heart as i speak them, knowing deep down that i don’t mean any of it, that i will regret pushing him away one day. when my hand reaches for the door, not able to spend another second this close to him, i know that i want nothing more than to show him how i really feel. though the second my palm twists the door handle, it is forcefully pulled backward, my entire body pushed harshly against the counter.

i am unable to object or even question what is happening as tom presses his lips onto mine firmly, silencing any attempts to fight back before i can even utter them. his hands attach themselves to my waist, pushing me further against the counter as his body presses against my own. my eyes close, lips moving to kiss him back without any real thought.

“don’t say shit like that.” he mumbles angrily against my lips, groaning quietly into the kiss as he deepens it, his tongue sliding into my mouth. his lips are soft, just as i had remembered them, always contrasting with the harshness of his metal lip piercing, something which i had grown to love over the course of our hookups - not that i would ever tell him that. never breaking his lips from my own, his hands reach under my thighs, lifting me up and onto the counter in one swift motion. he uses one hand to move my legs apart, standing in between the gap as his mouth works against mine. it is this change in position that soon makes me realise where he is going with this, and no matter how much i want to, i can’t give myself up.

“we can’t.” i mutter against his lips, my words getting through with little success as he mumbles a quiet ‘hm’ against me before kissing me with just as much hunger as before. i place my hands against his chest, pushing him back, though he only takes this as a sign to attach his lips to my neck, planting sloppy kisses all over the skin as his hands run up and down my waist.

“tom we can’t do this.” my voice is much louder this time, firmer than before as he pulls his head from my neck, not moving far as his face is inches from my own.

“why not?” he is breathless, chest rising up and down as his hands still rest on my waist, body resting in between my legs. when i don’t respond, he sighs lowly, moving his head back into the crook of my neck, resuming his lips’ movements on the skin.

“tell me to stop.” his grip on my waist becomes tighter as he presses our bodies flush against each other. the kisses on my skin become much harsher, bordering messy as they aim to caress every inch of my neck. and when i struggle to form words, i realise that tom knows exactly what he is doing, his kisses pausing momentarily to speak. “say you don’t want this. say it and i’ll stop.”

“i-i….” i pause, thinking things through for a second. i choose my words carefully, deciding what to say, wondering if i even mean what is about to leave my mouth. because we both know the real answer, the one that my heart pleads for me to say, even when my words come out as a choked whisper, saying the complete opposite. “i don’t want you. stop…”

“you’re such a bad liar.” he breathes out against my skin, moving to rest his forehead against my own, his eyes flicking between my own gaze and lips, swollen and slightly parted. he doesn’t waste much time though, capturing them in to a harsh kiss, even more desperate than the ones before. his hands move under the small dress that hugs my figure, the pads of his fingertips now dancing along the bare skin of my waist, his touch creating goosebumps along it as i moan lowly into his mouth.

slowly his hands begin to trail down, my mind paying little attention to these small movements, until his finger teases the waistband of my lace panties. my breath gets caught in my throat, lips momentarily stuttering against his own when he wraps his fingers around the lace, tugging it down at a slow pace. his lips still work against mine, only much slower now, pulling away once my panties pool at my feet.

“you have no idea how much i’ve needed you.” he shakes his head whilst his fingers scramble to undo the button of his jeans, pulling them down and stepping out of them. he reaches for his t-shirt, not getting far as i stop his movement, my hands taking the fabric and pulling it over his head, revealing that toned upper half that i had been close to so many times. but no matter how many times i had seen it, i would never get used to it. the muscle that lines his frame, broad shoulders and slightly built arms, trailing down to his somehow perfectly crafted six pack, god he looks good.

and he knows it too, a soft smirk tugging at his lips when he registers that i am staring. “it’s all yours. it always has been, but you had to be fucking stubborn about it.”

he reconnects his lips to mine, spreading my legs apart even further as one finger slips downward, teasing my entrance as i moan into his mouth. i gasp against it when he slowly inserts one finger, knowing just when to curl it to elicit those sounds out of me that he longs to hear. and he knows that whatever he is doing is working, my lips stuttering against his as my head falls backward, legs subconsciously spreading wider. just as i feel myself getting close, he pulls his finger out, placing it in his mouth as his tongue swirls around it, releasing with a small pop. all i can do is watch, my eyes glued to his fingers, staring as they move toward his boxers, hurriedly pulling them down as his dick springs free. his size had always been something that excites me, though now, after being without it for two weeks, my thighs clench together at the sight, needing nothing more than to feel it inside me.

he takes his shaft in his hand, pumping it slightly whilst the other reaches behind my back, undoing the zipper of my dress and pulling it downward. he uses his other hand to pull it completely off of my body, stopping in front of me for a few seconds to take in the view in front of him. his tongue comes out of his lips to gently poke at the metal piercing that adorns it, eyes widening slightly once they make contact with my breasts.

“you’re so beautiful, want you all to myself.” he mumbles quietly, spreading my legs apart and lining his tip up with my entrance. “you ready?”

he waits for my consent, smiling weakly when i nod my head. that is all he needs to begin sliding into me, his head falling backward at the feeling. my walls attempt to stretch out to accustom to his size as i hiss in pain, hands clutching onto the countertop. though i never tell him to stop, deciding that any pain is better than ruining this moment, waiting patiently for it to subside. he finally bottoms out inside me, and i swear i feel his tip prodding at my cervix, the sensation causing my mouth to fall open, tom’s already placing messy kisses on my my chest.

he slides out slowly, almost pulling out completely until only his tip is inside, before thrusting all the way in without warning, my entire body jolting forward at the feeling. he repeats his motions, my body practically on the verge of giving out, hands flying to his chest in search for any form of support. my teeth sink into my bottom lip, hissing quietly as dull flashes of pain wash over me, eventually becoming less and less frequent, instead replaced by pure pleasure.

tom finds a steady pace, his head still buried into my chest as his lips work against it, leaving purplish marks in place of their kiss. my ability to speak is long gone, desperate mewls of his name spilling from my lips as he grabs my hips, using them to speed up his thrusts even more. he moves his head closer to mine, somehow managing to kiss my lips at a slow pace, tongue exploring my own whilst his cock thrusts in and out of me far more relentlessly than ever before.

“doing so good for me, missed this pussy so much…” his praise is cut off by short and almost inaudible groans every few seconds, his nails digging into my waist whenever i clench around him. he pulls his head away from mine, and through half lidded eyes i see his own gaze flash to the large mirror behind us, his pace faltering momentarily as his expression changes, eyes darkening. and before i can question why, he quickly pulls out of me as i whine at the loss of contact, not having long to complain as he takes my body, bending it over the counter as i now look at myself in the mirror, mouth falling open as he thrusts into me once again.

the new angle is almost too much, my body now fully bent over the counter as i almost lose my balance, eyes squeezing shut and eyebrows furrowing. i can feel every inch of him inside of me, every vein seeming to leave its mark inside my walls as i clench around him. my head falls downward, close to being flush against the counter, though tom reaches around to grab my face, forcing me to be level with the mirror once again.

“no no no.” he mutters breathlessly, teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he pauses, holding my face harshly in his hands, his grip likely to leave a mark. “watch yourself. look at those pretty faces you make as i fuck you.”

my eyes almost roll backwards when his tip prods directly against my g-spot, fighting the already strong urge to close, determined to comply with tom’s request as he continues to hold my face, his eyes locked on mine through the mirror. his muscles tense with each harsh movement, face twisting lightly after each thrust, the noises he lets out becoming more and more unrestrained as he gets closer and closer to his release.

“i’m so close.” he groans, finally letting go of my head, trailing his hand downward to rub fast circles on my clit, pushing me closer to my climax as the knot in my lower stomach begins to tighten. my legs buckle at his movements, quickly becoming overstimulated as i try to keep myself upright, pressing my body firmer into the counter. tom’s dick begins to twitch inside of me, signalling that he really is close, the soft groan that leaves his lips quickly followed by a much louder one as ropes of his thick cum begin to shoot into me. his head falls backward, low curses pouring from his lips as his cum continues to spill into me, his fast and deep thrusts fucking it upwards, followed by my own release. my hands clutch onto the counter desperately, using whatever little strength i have left to hold myself up, eyes locked on tom’s face as he cums, milking his cock slowly until he can no longer keep going.

he slides out of me, a mix of our juices seeping out of my hole, soon collected by the tissue that tom grabs from the side. sweat lines his body, showing just how tired out he is, if the loud and heavy breaths that leave his parted lips don’t show it enough. he lazily lifts me onto the counter, standing between my legs and pecking my lips softly, doing so repeatedly until our breathing has returned to its normal pace. he slides my panties on for me, grabbing his own boxers and quickly slipping them on, leaving the rest of our clothes on the floor. his forehead rests against mine, hands reaching to move any loose hairs out of my face.

“i meant it.” he states quietly into the silence, his lips ghosting against mine as i look back at him in confusion.

“you meant what?” i ask, my arms wrapping loosely around his neck. he smiles weakly, his thumb coming upward to stroke my cheek gently as i lean into his touch.

“when i said i loved you. i meant it.” no matter how daunting his confession is, he never looks away, his brown eyes searching my own as he blinks slowly. “i know i was a dick when i said it the first time. i didn’t want to scare you away, because i know it was just sex. and don’t get me wrong the sex is great, but it’s been more to me for a while. it did slip out, but i meant it, and i still mean it.”

my eyes widen, unsure of what to say, slightly hesitant to believe him instantly and instead wondering if this is just another ploy to fuck with my head, like he had done the last time. after a few seconds, i attach my lips to his, the kiss much softer than before, lacking the lustful intent behind it that had brought us to this position. he smiles into it, his hands resting on my lower back as his thumbs creates soft circles over the skin.

“i love you too.” his eyes light up at my response, arms wrapping tightly around my waist as he pulls me into a hug, lips pressing short kisses to my shoulder. he pulls away after a few seconds, smiling and reaching down to hand me my dress, quickly slipping on his own clothes and helping me down from the counter. he glances at the mirror, noticing that it is steamed up, his eyes lighting up as a childish idea flashes across his mind.

‘we just fucked :)’ i giggle quietly as he guides me out of the bathroom, glancing quickly at the mirror and reading the messy writing spread across it, hitting his arm playfully. he flashes me a quick smile, placing a hand on my lower back as we rejoin the party, my eyes immediately locking with the boy from earlier. tom quickly spots where i am looking, his eyes darkening as he refuses to look away. instead of walking toward him and starting a fight like i had expected, he places a hand firmly on my ass, kissing my lips roughly, his eyes still locked on the guy as he scoffs, shaking his head and walking elsewhere.

“i told you that he wouldn’t go anywhere near you. you can’t tell me i don’t stick to my word baby.” he smirks in my direction, taking my hand in his and leading me through the crowd, glancing behind him every so often to make sure that i am okay.

thank god for truth or dare.

requests are open! keep sending them in!!

[pinkgy]

Hello, a new writing blog with great writing!

How about some NSFW headcanons for the paradise lost demons (whb)? I'm not sure if you write for them since the request rules don't really specify it, so feel free to just ignore this if you don't.

Have a nice day!

Hi Anon !

Yes, I do write for every character from every of the fandoms listed in my request post.

I’m sorry if my headcanons might lack a bit of accuracy or are not as specific as the ones I wrote for the kings, we don’t know much yet about the Paradise lost demons so I’m writing this based of on my opinion, some investigation and the little content we’ve seen in the game so far about them.

Hope you like it and thank you so much for your request♡

𝗪𝗛𝗕 !

𝗣𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗘 𝗟𝗢𝗦𝗧

𝗡𝗦𝗙𝗪 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗖𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗡𝗦

GN!Reader + Reader has a pussy + Slight mentions of She/Her pronouns in Buer’s.

𝗖𝗪: Overstimulation, Edging, Dacryphilia, Shibari, Toys (Vibrators), Praising, Degradation, Blowjobs, Handjobs, Lingerie, Somnophilia.

𝗟𝗨𝗖𝗜𝗙𝗘𝗥

⇒ He's a Top without a doubt, there's no debating in this, he would get mad at you if you dared to suggest the idea of him being a sub.

⇒ Lucifer is actually pretty sweet, yes, he does a lot of questionable things while "pleasuring you" but he never does anything that hurt you too much, you have a safe word and many other ways where you can communicate to him any discomfort you might have and he Iso gives the best aftercare.

⇒ He's into shibari, this mostly because this way he can have you all to his mercy so he can toy with you for hours until your face is covered in tears.

⇒ He's the worst when he overstimulates you or when he edges you, by doing that he forgets any kind of limits you have set for him, you can beg him to stop, he won't, the more you cry, the more he does it. If he is eating your pussy while he aggressively thrusts his fingers in and out and you are sobbing and telling him to stop, he is going to do it faster, harder and way for aggresively.

⇒ There's no such a thing as normal sex with him, he's into a lot of shit, one crazier than the other, and he's also pretty good at analyzing you and he can figure out pretty quickly the things you like, and Lucifer will also be into those things.

⇒ "You say that it's too much ? Well, this cunt tells me overwise, and those beautiful tears all over your face don't seem to be out of pain, so don't lie to me and give me one more

𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗕𝗔𝗦

⇒ Marbas confuses me, he technically cant be freed from his restraints without Lucifers permission because his libido and violence are to dangerous for EVERYONE, but for the sake of this headcanon, lets say that he's not that bad when he's free. (ill include some headcanons where he's tied up tho, thats literally his kink)

⇒ Marbas is a Top, the fact that he's into being tied up does not means he subs, he definitely doesn't.

⇒ He would tie you up if you begged enough or as a punishment, but you better appreciate it, it doesn’t happen as often as you’d think.

⇒ He loves when you use toys on him while hes tied up, specially those wired bullet vibrators, he's soooo into being defenseless in front of you.

⇒ When he's tied up he loves being overstimulated, suck his dick nonstop or furiously rub it it up and down or play with his dick head, the sight of your face covered in his cum makes him go crazy.

⇒ But in spite of this headcanons, he tops, a l w a y s, you can have him tied up and ruining him with a bunch of bullet vibrators attached to his dick, he's dominating you somehow.

⇒ "Do i look that weak to you ? speed up that vibrator right fucking now or else im not fucking you"

𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗔𝗫

⇒ I don’t know why, but he gives switch vibes, but is leaning towards subbing.

⇒ Morax likes to be taken care of but not to the point of being a pillow prince.

⇒ Omg praise him please, he’ll become the whiniest boy out there, tell him how beautiful he is when he cums or how cute his moans are.

⇒ He’ll do anything for you, if you want him to completely submit to you, he will, and if you want him to fuck you senseless and completely rail you, he will, Morax is the definition of being into what you’re into.

⇒ As his kink says, he’s into body modifications, if you have one, he’ll go crazy, and if you don’t, that’s fine for him. But if you wanted to get one, even if it’s temporary, just to please him, you’ll drive him crazy, not because of the modification, but because of the intention.

⇒ “Just tell me, whatever you want me to do, just tell me, I’m yours, every part of me is your property, I’m here to please you and only you”

𝗕𝗨𝗘𝗥

⇒ He’s neither a dom nor a sub, but he’s not a switch, he just likes to feel good and likes to make you feel good, but he tends to get a bit dominant sometimes.

⇒ Wear fluffy lingerie, bonus points if it’s animal themed. (I don’t see him being into pet play tho, but who knows)

⇒ Buer is a box full of surprises, you never know his next move, he can be kissing you in the most romantic way possible, and then suddenly he’s spitting in your mouth.

⇒ Buer has something that makes me believe that he’s into somnophilia, but receiving it, he likes to challenge you to make him cum without waking him up, and the feeling of having his pants wet with his cum makes him go crazy.

⇒ He would love a pillow princess, to just please her and only her for hours, that’s a big fantasy of his.

⇒ “We have all the time in the world, so for this night and every night you want, so let me be the one that makes you feel the best you’ve ever felt”

[fyodior]

FLORA please . . . thinking abt dazai n fedya locked up together makes mi think of a threesome w them 🤭 how rough do u think they would be :O r they fighting over who gets to fuck ur pretty cunny ! ! giv mi all da deets teheheh :3

coco!! hmmmm ok i've been thinking a lot abt this hehehe sorry for how long it got 🤭

okey this could go so many different ways i could write an actual dissertation but. im going to come at this as if u are fyodor's lover hehehe

so. fedya is typically very gentle and sweet with his lover, esp in bed (unless you ask for otherwise) but... he hates dazai, and would rather die than let him have anything of his, especially u. so if u somehow stumbled into a threesome with them, it would be a lot djfjsjdj the way i see it happening is dazai purposely pushing all of fyodor's buttons abt how beautiful and sexy you are and how bad he wants you, probably taunts fyodor and says that he doesn't satisfy you ,,, and usually fedya can ignore dazai easily but when it comes to u and saying some shit like that he absolutely loses his SHIT and is like you're gonna watch and see how good i fuck her, how she falls apart over my cock

and he's very right!!! u do you def do. plus you've always thought dazai was kinda sexy so u agree to go along with their stupid game

so it starts out as just u and fedya while dazai watches, likely starting out w just missionary/ nearly mating press. he immediately jumps to what he knows makes you whine and moan the most, like fucking u right at the angle he knows feels the best, not too slow but not too fast, hips meeting flush with yours as he massages your clit and presses sweet kisses all over your face and lips. bc to him, this isn't just abt showing dazai how good the sex is, anyone can make sex feel good, he wants to rub it in his face too how much u just fucking love him and want him to be inside u not just cuz of how heavenly it feels, but bc u need to be that close to him. dazai fists his angry red cock, massaging himself to the sounds of your whimpers and cries and just how hot u look getting fucked.

when fyodor spills his cum inside you is when he decides its ok for dazai to take u next, smirking bc now he has to deal with the fact that he'll be fucking fyodor's cum right into you. u cant lie tho, dazai is really fucking talented. he's taking you from the back, ass high in the air as he shoves his desperate, needy, neglected cock so deep inside you it kisses your cervix and makes ur eyes roll back in your head. dazai is kinda losing it himself, absolutely mesmerized by the way ur cunt stretches and pulls with each thrust of his cock, the cream that's dripping down ur thighs and gathering onto his length. fyodor's the one watching now, irked that dazai's making you moan but is confident enough to know he could never be as good. he can't stay away for too long tho, sidles up next to u as dazai continues to fuck u as he sticks his hand in between ur thighs to rub your clit and suck on your nipples, and to say you were overstimulated was an understatement. your senses were so overloaded and on fire as they both had their way with you, but goddamn did it feel fucking amazing. it was the best orgasm you had had in a long time.

one of the hard and fast rules fyodor set was that dazai was by NO means allowed to cum inside u, and if he did it would result in very unsightly consequences. dazai doesn't rly listen to rules but he knew fyodor did not fuck around when it came to u. so he settles for flipping you over so he can cum all over ur tummy, using his fingertips to spread the seed all over you and squeeze your breasts. fyodor slaps his hands away. ur incredibly out of breath and fucked out at this point, a tiny bit of drool pooling at the edge of your mouth as you tried to catch ur breath, but things weren't over yet.

dazai wanted to know what ur mouth felt like, and weirdly, fyodor was ok with that. let him experience how good you suck dick and have to live knowing that fyodor is the only one who'll ever get to experience that. sat on fyodor's lap with your back to his chest now, his cock buried deep inside you as a reminder of who u rly belong to, dazai is sat on his knees next to you so you can suck him off. now he's the one whimpering and moaning as you take him into your mouth and skillfully use your lips and tongue to give him the best head of his life, and fyodor only smirks as he watches and feels u very slowly rising and falling on his own cock, subconsciously chasing the familiar feeling. and with a good massage of dazai's balls, he's cumming down your throat with a hearty groan -- he almost immediately gets hard again when he watches u swallow every single drop easily, licking ur lips afterwards with a smile.

in the end, fedya is right. dazai would forever be jealous that fyodor is the only one who ever got to have you. and that's how i think a threesome would go :)

[ryuzakistoe]

Rin Itoshi (x reader)

Rin Itoshi x reader, breakup au, fluff, fem!reader, angst

You and Rin broke up a couple of weeks ago and only recently has he realized he made a mistake. He can't seem to get you out of his head despite that it was his idea to break up with you. He really wants you back.

a/n: So like this is my first ff here on tumblr...pls tell me if its good enough😖 ANYWAYS IM SOOO OBSESSED WITH RIN ITOSHI and maybe sae...actually most of the bllk characters.

Empty.

That's all he felt.

He thought that maybe letting you go would be the best option. Apparently not.

You were the cause of his distraction during soccer. You were the reason he couldn't keep his focus on the game and almost lost in the finals.

Well, he at least thought.

After that game, he felt somewhat frustrated. He was frustrated at himself for losing focus but also felt somewhat frustrated towards you. You were the reason why he couldn't think clearly.

The way you beamed with joy when he scored goals. The way you shouted his name across the field. The way your eyes sparkled every time he received the ball...

It was all stuck in his head. He just couldn't shake away the image of you.

And yet, THAT was the problem.

You rushed toward him, cheering and shouting his name with a big smile on your face, which he always loved. He also loved it when you jumped on him and hugged him tightly.

But for some reason, all he felt during that moment was annoyance and slight anger.

He didn't hug you back and of course, you immediately thought something was wrong.

Taking your hands back slowly, you gazed at him. "Rin, are you alright?"

...

"Let's break up."

...

He will always remember the way your expression changed. The way your face turned white when he spoke. The way the admiration in your eyes vanished..

But how could he possibly also forget the icy gaze he fixed upon you? Those piercing teal eyes, lacking of any emotion, seemed to burn right through you in that moment.

He regretted that deeply.

He soon left without saying anything more, leaving you to process and replay his choice of words.

Hell, even the way he walked showed no remorse or emotions either.

…

Now, here he was a couple weeks later on the field, going against some lukewarm team. (see what I did there😏)

In the middle of the game, it seemed like he was instinctively trying to find you in the crowd. He kept looking towards the front row and then at the seat where you always used to sit. The same seat that was right next to Rin was now unoccupied.

That's when it hit him. From this point on, that seat would always be empty.

That same feeling he felt the day after the breakup, it all came back--hitting him twice as hard.

All that regret, sadness, loneliness--it all came tumbling down on him.

He knew that he missed you but he didn't think he did THIS much.

He remembers how your eyes looked that day. He remembers the tears welling up and the quiver in your lip. He remembers how your voice cracked when you said his name. Yes…he remembers it all.

Only now does he know that he really did fuck up.

During the match, he realized he wasn't performing at his best. Whenever his teammates passed the ball to him, it was either intercepted by the opposing team or slipped through his grasp.

This was the worst he played.

He clenched his teeth in frustration. Why couldn't he concentrate? Why couldn't he score? Why couldn't he make it across the field?

Oh right.

It was you again.

Ever since he left you, his playing somehow worsened. Well, he already knew it was bad with you around, but this time, it was even more chaotic.

Every minute, every second in his mind seemed to be filled with you.

He remembered how you used to run up to him after every game, laughing out his name as you got closer, your hair gently running alongside you, and your arms outstretching to embrace him in a tight hug. He missed all of it.

While he was busy trying to push aside his thoughts, surprisingly, his team managed to turn the game back around and claim victory, but that didn't calm him down.

The same thoughts that had been running through his mind during the game were still lingering in his head, refusing to settle or go away.

He missed you. He needed you. It was wrong of him to push you away.

It was as if he couldn't find rest unless he was back with you. Back in your arms, back in your embrace, back in your heart...

Arriving back home, he immediately whipped out his phone and scrolled down to your contact.

'Love❤️'

He gazed at the name of your contact. He couldn't muster the courage to delete the contact or change the name.

The grip on his phone tightened. He really really needed you back.

The pain in his chest and mind wouldn't disappear until he had you back. He was certain of that.

He wanted to make everything right again, he wanted to make it up to you.

But the question was, would you let him?

After a bit of contemplation with himself, he finally clicked on your contact.

'RING RING RING'

His heart pounded in his chest. He felt like his guts were going to rupture from nervousness. Had he ever felt this nervous and desperate before? Probably not.

As he started having second thoughts, the ringing finally stopped.

"Rin?"

Oh, how he missed that voice.

It seemed as if all his doubting and nervousness in his body had been healed by just hearing your voice.

That's how much he needed you back.

"Y/n. Can we talk?"

Now it was your turn to be nervous. 'Talk?' What was there to talk about? He made it clear that he wanted nothing to do with you. All the texts and calls you sent him after that day have either been ignored or declined. At one point, he even blocked you.

But you couldn't deny that hearing his voice again felt relaxing--calming even.

You craved day after day to hear his voice one more time, but of course, you knew that would be impossible.

Well, you thought it would be impossible, until now.

"Talk? Talk about what Rin?"

Shit. What was he supposed to say? Tell you that he was wrong and that he wants you back?

...Well...technically...yeah.

How? How was he going to say it properly though?

He had to think quick. He knew he had to at least say something regarding that line. This may be his ever only chance.

"Y/n...I want to talk about us. I'm sorry. I truly am. I never realized how much this would impact me...but if you can, can we meet up? I want to apologize properly. Not through some device." Rin breathed out.

Wow.

You never thought you would be hearing these words come out of his mouth after a break-up.

But now, the question was if you would accept his apology and agree to the meet-up.

You loved Rin. You always have as a matter of fact.

Even after the breakup, you couldn't stop loving him. It felt like your love for him only grew stronger. But now, it felt like the universe was finally listening to your heartache.

You felt your heart beating irregularly, but the thought of seeing him again made you happy despite feeling sad and upset before.

You already knew the answer to his question. You knew how desperate you wanted him back. You knew how much you loved him and still do.

Without wasting any more time, you replied.

"Sure Rin. I'll see what you have to say." You smiled, knowing Rin couldn't see that precious smile of yours that he adored.

That was all he needed to hear from you.

"Let's talk at the garden by (ST. NAME) St. at 6. Okay?"

"Okay."

...

Rin hung up after bidding goodbye. A small smile plastered on his face. He let out a sigh as he rested on his sofa.

He was happy. No. More than happy by your consideration.

The anticipation of seeing you again grew inside him, increasing steadily. He couldn't afford to mess up now. All he had to do was be honest, right?

Yeah. Honest.

A small frown replaced his soft smile as he had to tell you how he truly felt, how much he missed you, how wrong he was, and how he regretted the whole thing.

He had to tell you how sorry he really was.

But he knew he definitely wanted to tell you how much he needed you back in his life, to fill that empty seat.

__________________

He couldn't take his gaze off of you.

The way the afternoon sun coated and highlighted all your features, making it seem as if you were glowing. The way the wind brushed threw your hair, as if your beautiful locks were being combed in sections by the gentle breeze. And the way your eyes softly squinted as your face morphed into a delicate and soft smile.

It was as if he was falling in love all over again.

Except this time, it was the same girl he still loved.

He began walking towards you, taking appropriate strides.

Gosh.

He couldn't help but admire you. You looked even more beautiful up close.

He let out a breath, preparing his words.

“Y/n…” he mumbled

“Rin.” you muttered back, your smile never faltering.

Rin enjoyed hearing his name spoken by you. It was the only thing that could calm him down. The smooth, comforting sound of your voice saying his name...he needed to hear and keep that heavenly voice in his life forever.

Rin took a deep breath before finally speaking his heart's content.

"Y/n.. I want to apologize. I kept pushing you away because I couldn't stop thinking about you while I was playing soccer. But even when I wasn't on the field, you were still on my mind," Rin said.

"During that game...my mind was still drifting back to the thought of you. That's what made me distracted during the game.

I thought that maybe breaking up with you would settle my thoughts and help me focus more on soccer. But I was wrong. The fact that you were no longer by my side only made me more distracted than I already was." Rin explained before continuing.

"Every day, I would feel empty and lonely without you. At one point, I thought that those feelings would go away after some time. But I was wrong. They only grew day after day.

That's when I realized that breaking up with you was a mistake. I need you Y/n. I need you to be here with me. I need you to stay in my life. Without you, I only feel empty and hollow. I want you to come back to my games and continue cheering me on. I want to look forward to your hugs and embraces after the games.

Please Y/n...I miss you. Will you consider staying with me?"

Shocked. Amazed. Surprised.

You felt almost all of the above.

Those words...that tone...his movements...they seemed heartfelt.

You gazed up at him, eyes wide, mouth agape, body still. You absorbed all his words and felt as if some kind of shackle around your wounded heart had been mended.

It felt relieving to finally hear the truth.

Noticing your motionless state, Rin grew a little worried. Were you mad at him? Upset? Angry? He couldn't tell.

What if you're angry at him with the whole "pushing you away from him to focus on the whole soccer thing"?

After having some negative thoughts in his head, they all seemed to have been pushed aside at the sight of your smile.

"I missed you too Rin. I missed you so much that my heart would swell at the mere thought or sight of you. Morning and night I would go to bed, hugging myself, wondering what it would be like if we were still together and what I could've done differently.”

“Every day I have not been able to stop thinking about you. I even haven't been able to stop loving you as well." You softly chuckled.

Now he was the one who was shocked. He always had a thought lingering in the back of his mind, wondering if you had ever moved on from him or not. Now he knew the answer.

He quickly and gently pulled you into an embrace after hearing your words.

You still loved him.

And of course, he still loved you.

He felt so relieved and content after hearing your words.

His smile only grew wider as he felt you reciprocating his hug.

"I love you Y/n. I love you so much. I promise to not leave you over something stupid like that ever again." He spoke quietly into your ear.

Now, it was your turn to smile wider at his words.

You knew that he meant every word. You knew that he still loved you. You knew that he would keep his promise. You knew that he was being genuine.

"I love you too Rin." You spoke back.

_____________________

a/n: BRO I DID NOT LIKE THE ENDING OF THIS ITS SO ASS buttttt I was starting to feel lazy😣 BUT OMG IM SO EXCITED FOR S2!!!

P.S I might take a long while to post more stuff like this bc I'm just so busy with school and life

P.S.S HES SO HANDSOME AND BEAUTIFUL WHAT

[kings-highway]

What do you think about UshiOi/OiUshi? I know they don’t get along but….. Don’t have to do this one if you don’t want to..

m 🤔

Im gonna be honest with you, I was downright against this ship most of my haikyuu days. I just dont like it, but I do think I dont like it due to the fanon version of it, not because I ever actually thought of it myself.

The "What do you think of my worthless pride now?" "Its fantastic" pages of the post timeskip are genuinely almost enough to make me convert then and there. That dark, possessive "Its fantastic," as all Ushijima ever wanted was for Oikawa to reach his full potential, the potential he always saw, and sure, Oikawa ended up hating him in the process (and maybe he was wrong about where he needed to be for that growth) but goddamn he finally did it and Ushijima could not be more excited to see him on court. Oikawa subconsciously seeking Ushijima's approval and (praise?) despite thinking they were enemies.

You can't convince me that if Ushijima looked him in the eyes and told him he was the best setter he wouldn't swoon right there and then.

I do really see the appeal of these too, especially as a more mature/adult ship, but I dont really think of them very long term. The idea of Oikawa saying "this is my boyfriend/husband" and then fcking Ushijima Wakatoshi is standing there? Insane. BUT. I do kinda see them as a queerplatonic ship, or... the evil equivalent of a queerplatonic ship? like they find in each other something nobody else can give them, a mutual understanding and respect that drives them both forward, and they grow old without ever having another significant relationship, neither get married, neither have kids, but somehow, when they're both 80, they still end up meeting in the same places, sitting down together, and talking about how much they've enjoyed their lives (together.)

I feel a little bad not at least trying to see them as a proper ship, so...

Ushijima would absolutely win carnival stuffies for Oikawa because he makes one offhanded comment about "a proper boyfriend would get me a stuffed puppy" (regarding one of the prizes) and that becomes his Most Important Mission

Oikawa really rushing to change out of uniform and sprint to the court to watch the end of the STZ team match because he knows how fucking quick those games go but he wants to see Ushijima destroy them.

Pre-relationship, when Ushijima learns Oikawa had been so truly, genuinely hurt by their rivalry, he sends him a card that is very long but basically amounts to "apologies. i had thought you found our rivalry as exhilirating as I did. I will back off." and Oikawa feels this *thump* in his chest and its just... oh no.

Overall Rating:

For me, Personal Interest: -2/10

Concept/Potential: 9/10

[animentality]

the fun thing about durgetash for me as far as definitely toxic ships go, is that gortash and durge, as individuals, are toxic. but the ship itself? not toxic at all in my take. because as horrible as they are as people, the love they have for each other is actually very genuine. everyone else in the world is dust under their boots except for each other. they truly respect each other and get along frighteningly well and listen to each other and support each other’s atrocities and so, if you ignore the screaming of their victims in the background, their relationship is actually kind of healthy.

to be fair: this is with my version of them in mind lol i know other people have spicer takes where they ARE actively toxic to each other and such, and those are fun too but ive gotten so into the version of them where they both just exude toxicity to everyone in their lives EXCEPT each other. it’s already a trope im very weak to but its especially crazy with them. its like they cancel each other out somehow lol

like i think it takes a while to get to that point of course, to build up actual trust enough to feel even slightly safe around each other, but once they open up to each other the affection-starvation just jumps out. and then despite everything they manage to actually be gentle with each other. and neither of them deserves gentleness of any sort, but they get it anyway, from each other.

so for me durgetash is “toxic” only by virtue of the individuals involved being horrible terrible people, and because they gleefully support each other’s evil plans, and not because of how they actually treat each other, which is actually the closest thing to “normal” either of them will ever experience (and it is still so, so far from “normal” lol)

but it’s still also nice to be in a ship where the discourse is so obvious we don’t even bother lol. yes gortash has a list of human rights abuses longer than he is tall. yes he’s gonna have an evil cuddle with his evil partner-in-crime in their evil bedroom after a long, hard day of being evil. and i’m gonna be thinking about it <3

Anon, you get me.

I think durgetash just works because...they are so blatantly evil.

Gortash tortured a bunch of people trying to figure out how tadpoles worked, and the evidence of his crimes is in the mindflayer colony beneath Moonrise and in the Steel Watch Foundry. His Steel Watch guards literally kill children and innocent families.

The Dark Urge mentions killing (eating?) a BABY. They have killed thousands. They eat human meat. They torture people.

They both started the entire plot by being total pieces of shit.

So what are you going to do?

Cancel them???

The game cancels them.

Gortash literally got cancelled so hard his brain popped.

The Dark Urge dies in most playthroughs. They only become redeemable by literally dying and becoming a new person. Plus their life is so fucking awful, that it almost cancels out how bad they are, because they're a vessel of Bhaal, who can either choose obedience or death.

They are both so outrageously evil, you can't even be outraged.

No one on the entire planet is defending either of them.

It almost defeats itself as an argument, like, you say Gortash is horrible, and I say yeah, man. You say, the Dark Urge is evil, and I say absolutely.

But that's kind of why...a relationship between the two of them IS so good, though.

Sure, there have always been villainous ships, but...something about these jagged creatures having a soft spot for one another...

It just works.

It's...it's taking two wretched beasts, and giving them something human to hold between their claws.

How can you support them being together, but how could you deny them this?

They're so horrible, they don't deserve love, but at the same time, seeing profoundly evil people are still capable of love, and humanity is inescapable, no matter how inhuman you are...

Hmmmm.

Yes.

The worse Dark Urge and Enver are, the better Durgetash comes.

That's the wonderful conundrum.

It's honestly such a SHIP, anon.

THE Ship.