#but you're allowed to do whatever you need to to enjoy social media!! it's not supposed to make you feel bad

[positivelyadhd]

Hi! I hope this isn’t too uncomfortable to talk about for you,(feel free to ignore if it is) but lately I’ve been seeing a lot of distressingly hateful comments about people’s looks. Saying things like how people who don’t fit into societal beauty standards are “objectively ugly” and that saying no one is ugly and beauty is subjective is “delusional” and “lying to yourself”. It’s honestly pretty gross, but they seem to be popping up more, especially in otherwise innocent discussions about things like fashion and makeup. I’m worried it might be a continuing trend and we’ll be seeing more of this. Is there any way to stay safe in avoiding this kind of thing or argue back? Should I even say anything? Hope you guys are ok at least and thanks for reading all this!

Hello friend!!

I'm sorry to hear you've been seeing unkind comments online it's very upsetting to see people say things like that but comments like that are often more of a reflection of what that person is feeling about themselves than anyone else! unfortunately i think content on anything to do with appearance will sometimes lead to people being unkind and again, i think a lot of it is more to do with them and their own insecurities than anyone they may think they're talking about!

I understand the urge to want to argue especially when things people are saying are hurtful but online arguments rarely end with a constructive conversation and often lead to people being even more engrained into their viewpoints. I often stick to blocking/muting people that say things like that and trying to remember that what they're saying is an issue with them, not you.

a lot of social media with a recommended section often has options to tell the app that you don't like the content its showing you so marking that can help to reduce it and avoiding looking at comments! sadly comment sections often tend to be toxic and I've taken to avoiding looking at comments on posts! it tends to save a lot of mental energy! you are under no obligation to do or say anything on social media and doing whatever you need to do to make it an enjoyable experience is what's most important!

I hope this helps and I hope you can get to see more positive online content <33

[astonmartinii]

pick of the crop | logan sargeant social media au

pairing: logan sargeant x fem farmer!reader

sometimes opposites attract so much that a city boy is willing to get mud on his trainers

based on this request: Logan sargeant x reader smau, where she’s like a farmer in the country, and people are surprised that they’re so different? - @indesicivelyconfuzzled

MASTERLIST | BUY ME A KO-FI?

logansargeant

liked by alexalbon, yourusername and 611,209 others

tagged: yourusername

logansargeant: never been so thankful for a two week break in the race calendar, farm time has been overdue.

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user1: did we just unlock the farmer version of logan

user2: real ones have known farmer logan since his f2 days

oscarpiastri: ugh... couple goals i guess

yourusername: you guess?

logansargeant: you wish you were us

yourusername: let's not pit two powerful women against each other

oscarpiastri: thank you y/n

yourusername: i was talking about me and lily, y'all can fight amongst yourselves

user3: you guys are fake as fuck cause why didn't you tell me logan has a gf

user4: a farmer gf ?!?!?!?

alexalbon: so i got heat from you for @albon_pets (follow me) but your gf has a whole ass farm?

logansargeant: and what? dodger would defo take otter in a fight

yourusername: stop the violence

alexalbon: see, this is why people are confused on how you guys got together

logansargeant: i'm just standing up for my dog child ?

yourusername: leave the children out of it

user5: idk how or when this happened but i am enjoying seeing another side of logan

user6: for real haven't seen his feral side since prema

user7: two weeks on a farm will do that to you

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo, logansargeant and 3,199 others

tagged: logansargeant

yourusername: the y/ln farm takes the cota paddock, thanks @alexalbon for recommending fifi for the job of paddock drama queen

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user9: she brought a horse for her paddock debut ???

user10: idk about you guys but i am thoroughly enjoying whatever the fuck is going on right now

logansargeant: i think fifi did great (i think dan might be friends with us now)

yourusername: she's a gentle queen (omg we've made friends?)

danielricciardo: damn right you have a new friend what a STALLION

yourusername: you can ride her if you want :)

alexalbon: WE CAN?

landonorris: WE CAN?

maxverstappen1: i would like to ride the horsey

yukitsunoda0511: dan woke me up with his scream of joy so you're morally obligated to let me have a ride on fifi as well

logansargeant: well if i knew all i needed to do was bring y/n and fifi to the paddock to make friends they would've been at miami :(

user11: crying so the reports that logan was feeling really lonely were real?

user12: at least he has y/n?

oscarpiastri: cool kids have already ridden with fifi :)

logansargeant: you screamed the whole time?

oscarpiastri: semantics

danielricciardo: i'm outside williams hospitality let me in

yourusername: that was fast?

charles_leclerc: it's kinda in the job description (we're all here please let us in)

user13: the way all the teams are gonna be like where are all of our drivers and why are they all running away?

williamsf1

liked by yourusername, logansargeant and 610,994 others

tagged: logansargeant, alexalbon

williamsf1: austin you delivered !! logan and alex pick up three and four points each in logan's first points and our first double points finish of the season !!

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user14: someone tell y/n she's not allowed to go home, she's a williams employee now

liked by logansargeant

alexalbon: WHAT THE FUCK IS A KILOMETRE I LOVE YOU AMERICA

logansargeant: 🤨🤨🤨🤨

alexalbon: don't lie you love the bit

logansargeant: no i think YOU love the bit

alexalbon: today i love YOU 😘

yourusername: 🤨🤨🤨🤨

alexalbon: i guess i love you too

yourusername: i would like to think so. don't think i didn't see you swipe a jar of marmalade

alexalbon: GUILTY

user15: williams points, maybe america isn't all bad ...

yourusername: home race did pretty boy so good :))))

logansargeant: idk i think you might just be my lucky charm and can never leave my side again

yourusername: what about the children logan :(

logansargeant: fuck dem kids

logansargeant: JOKES

oscarpiastri: 📸 📸 📸 got ur ass

logansargeant: why are you here?

oscarpiastri: i want naming rights of the next babies 😬

yourusername: logan :((((((( they have feelings :(((((

logansargeant: i'm sorry :( i just love you :(

yourusername: awwwwww i love you too

oscarpiastri: so can i name the next babies PLEASE

yourusername: you wanna give logan a tow next race?

oscarpiastri: fuck no

yourusername: then there's your answer

user16: what the fuck is going on here?

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 7,103 others

tagged: logansargeant

yourusername: there's no such thing as a snooze button here

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user17: FARM LOGAN FARM LOGAN FARM LOGAN

user18: farm logan makes me weak in the knees

oscarpiastri: why are there two pictures of logan?

logansargeant: choke.

oscarpiastri: woah i didn't know comedy was illegal in texas

yourusername: to perform comedy you kinda need to be funny oscar

oscarpiastri: i am funny?

yourusername: sure ...

oscarpiastri: stop trying to look like a nice gf on the internet you make fun of him just as much as i do

logansargeant: she did say that she prefers dermot over 'my ass'

yourusername: LOL sorry logan....

landonorris: am i dumb?

oscarpiastri: yes :)

yourusername: ass is another way to refer to a donkey lando

landonorris: ohhhh. in that case i am a massive donkey

yourusername: oh that's not...

user19: y/n having to deal with more than logan and oscar will kill her i fear

alexalbon: SHEEP PLEASE BRING SHEEP NEXT RACE PLEASE I LOVE SHEEP

yourusername: you good?

alexalbon: i love sheep. sue me

yourusername: we actually host sheep cuddle session at the farm lol

logansargeant: can confirm they are very cuddly (not as much as you)

alexalbon: 1. why thank you logan 2. LILY CANCEL THE FLIGHTS

logansargeant: i was talking about y/n... but i knew you remembered our snuggle on the plane

alexalbon: i'm like an octopus in my sleep, just ask lily or george

user20: please santa bring me a cuddle session with the sheep at y/n's farm 🤞

logansargeant

liked by alexalbon, yourusername and 503,776 others

tagged: yourusername

logansargeant: 2024 williams? no. y/n's tractor? YES

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user21: country boy i love youuuuuuuuuuuu eh

user22: third pic is doing something to me that is irreversible

yourusername: lovely lovely cowboy, i might have to ban you from working on the farm cause you're too distracting

logansargeant: saying that as if you don't make collecting eggs look like the hottest thing in the world

yourusername: you looking mighty fine wrangling the cows

logansargeant: you riding a horse makes me go feral

alexalbon: OKAY WE'LL BE ENDING THAT THERE BEFORE IT LEAVES THE PG RATING

yourusername: boooooo you're no fun 🍅 🍅🍅

logansargeant: as if you aren't posting up your feet all over the timeline 🤨

alexalbon: ffs it's just double trouble with you people

user23: only time that driving a tractor is attractive for f1 drivers

oscarpiastri: you guys look like you've jumped out of a trashy romance novel

yourusername: you read them enough to know that

oscarpiastri: what is on my kindle is between me and god

logansargeant: oscar jack piastri leave us out of your smut

oscarpiastri: oh stop being so dramatic, i don't want to know what you freaks do on that farm

logansargeant: and you'll never know. don't think of my girlfriend like that

yourusername: and don't think about my boyfriend like that

oscarpiastri: you people are infuriating

yourusername: we irritating 👯‍♀️

logansargeant: they hate to see bad bitches winning 💅

user24: this relationship is so precious to me

yourusername

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant and 31,503 others

tagged: logansargeant

yourusername: farm update: meet the formooooola one grid!!

yuki has eaten all of my shoes :(

alex has taken station in the chicken coup

charles thinks he's a dog?

max and daniel just snooze everyday under the orange trees

george is always right at the door every morning

oscar and logan are just obsessed with each other and the goats

yes i did name the one with the prettiest coat after lewis

fernando is always sat on some poor soul (usually one of the cats)

carlos and lando chase each other constantly

lance and esteban are chill and just like cuddles

valterri drags zhou to do dumb stuff (they got stuck in a window? don't ask)

pierre demands to be brushed everyday

checo, nico and kevin are the mother hens

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user27: stop the count!!! this IS the cutest moment of the year

yukitsunoda0511: i'm sure cow yuki has a very good excuse

yourusername: i don't have any leather shoes so at least he's not a cannibal?

logansargeant: he did eat my limited edition converse though 🤨

lewishamilton: i simply HAVE to meet cow lewis he sounds like a great dude

yourusername: he's very calm and does love affection

logansargeant: he let me give him belly rubs !!

lewishamilton: that is cute (do not try to touch my stomach)

logansargeant: ... noted

user28: i will never recover from this and need constant updates please

logansargeant: cow me might be obsessed with oscar but real me is still obsessed with you

yourusername: don't tell the others but both you and cow logan are my faves - i love you

logansargeant: awwww i love you too

alexalbon: OUTRAGE

oscarpiastri: ROBBERY

yourusername: oh please ....

logansargeant: you snooze you lose

danielricciardo: awww they can't even separate us as cows @maxverstappen1

maxverstappen1: we're bffs in every universe daniel

yourusername: this is very heartwarming

logansargeant: we're still better though, right?

yourusername: oh of course

danielricciardo: ???

maxverstappen1: ???

fin.

note: two in one day? i am on a roll - i hope you all enjoy with me finally writing for logan !! i for one am glad he's getting a second season!

[swarovskiseraph]

SOME* OF YA'LL ARE NEVER GOING TO GET YOUR DESIRES, AND YOU'LL HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELVES

*WARNING: TOUGH LOVE RANT. also, like everything in life, take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not doing anything i mention in this post, then this post doesn't apply to you.

before anyone comes for me, MOST of us are going through (or have gone through) hard circumstances. many of us have come from abusive households, abusive relationships, poverty, homelessness, & just overall bad circumstances.

but you know why the bloggers & anons who succeed in manifesting their desires/desired lives ACTUALLY SUCCEED?

because they took accountability for their current state and their limiting patterns.

because they were disciplined & determined enough to claim their desire(s), apply the law, & persist regardless of EVERYTHING.

because they knew that this practice would actually change their lives forever and allowed NOTHING to stand in their way.

AND GUESS WHAT? NOW THEY HAVE THEIR DESIRES/DESIRED LIFE!

if you were to be 100% honest and tell me why after months/years of being in this community you STILL haven't manifested your desires/desired life yet, what would be the answer?

overconsumption? procrastination? laziness? lack of persistence?

whatever the case may be, what i do know for a FACT is that it has been no one's fault but YOURS.

many of you guys come running on this platform; asking the same repetitive questions, complaining about not seeing results, whining about how sad your life is and how hard your circumstances are, or just straight up hating on some of these bloggers that are helping you FOR FREE, when they could be using that time to enjoy their desires/the life that they manifested for themselves.

LIKE...DO YOU REALIZE HOW PATHETIC & ENTITLED SOME OF YOU GUYS ARE?

"can you pleaseee manifest/tap into the void for me?" 🥺

"im so lazyyy, i can't be bothered to persist..." 🥱

"loa is FAKE! you guys are a bunch of lying b***hes..." 🤬

"my life is sooo hard, i have such a horrible life...*continues to trauma dump*" 😭

OHHH MYYY F*CKINGGG GODDD!

there are MILLIONS of people in the world who are in unfavorable/horrible circumstances that have NO IDEA what the law of assumption is, and have NO WAY to access this type of information!

you guys literally have the knowledge and awareness to make the most beautiful life possible for yourselves with JUST YOUR IMAGINATION, and yet, A LOT of you guys are the most ungrateful, lazy, irresolute, undisciplined whiners, who don't want to do even the BARE MINIMUM to change your entire lives!!

TRUST ME, everyone on this platform (including myself) understands that there will be setbacks. we all know that they are going to be bad days. we all understand that everyone has their own personal/mental issues. we get that life has obstacles and that not every day will be a win.

BUT, you guys NEED to put in the effort & not give up! you guys NEED to STOP letting your ego win! you guys NEED to get tf off of social media and stop overconsuming information. you guys NEED to claim your desires/desired life, stay consistent & persist until your desires/desired life has materialized.

because guess what, a day turns into a year pretty quickly, and you'll have gone another year of NOT having your desires/desired life, and it's going to be no one's fault but yourself...

do you REALLY want another year of watching everyone else get what they want besides you? do you REALLY want another year of not having your desired appearance, your sp, or financial freedom?

REALLY?

i hope the answer is no...because that's a HUGE waste of time that could be used to actually have the things & life you want.

everyone deserves to live the life they want...but at the end of the day, no one & nothing has the power to manifest the life you want but YOU.

[emeryleewho]

If you're worried about the enshittification of the internet completely killing your access to work by your favorite creatives (I've already seen a lot of artists I love state they'll be leaving Tumblr thanks to all the AI training), I want to introduce you to a handful of ways to circumvent the social media hellscape to stay connected to your favorite creators.

RSS Feeds

I'd argue that this is the best option. It essentially allows you to create your own social media "dashboard" by saving websites and getting updates when they post new content. Most websites already have these, and if social media goes down (or just continues to degrade), the best way you can access your favorite creators will be with direct connection to their personal websites. I'm still learning how to use these, but if you want to learn more, this article does a great job.

2. Newsletters

I know newsletters are a pain and it's annoying to have your inbox cluttered, but if there are creators you know you'd be remiss to lose access to, I recommend subscribing to their newsletters. I'd honestly skip the ones that share frequent content you don't need, but for example, my newsletter is updates only so I only send it out maybe every few months when something big happens. It's an easy way to stay up to date on info that social media buries. Of course, if your faves are writing up blog posts & insights that you want to read in newsletter form, consider subscribing to those as well, and don't feel like you have to subscribe to *every* newsletter to make it worthwhile. You just want to make sure you can still be reached by the creators whose work you really don't want to miss.

3. Ko-Fi/Patreon

I don't think a lot of people realize you can follow people on these platforms for free, but because they have paid options, they offer more direct access than social media sites whose algorithms will just erase people you love from your feed altogether. This one isn't the best alternate since a lot of content may be behind a paywall, but if you just want an easy way to be sure you'll still have access to updates from people you want to support, this is a usable way to compile creators in one place and most creators will post updates for free so you should still get those.

So yeah, these are my suggestions. If you're just on social media casually and you just like the easy access to content but don't particularly care about individual creators or specific projects or anything like that then you probably don't need any of this and that's fine. If social media is continuing to work for you then feel free to continue enjoying it without worrying about alternatives. I just want people to have a fail safe if you, like me, are realizing that this shit is getting completely out of hand and everything you once wanted social media for is quickly becoming inaccessible.

Anyway, I highly recommend tuning in to people's personal websites, but I doubt most people have the energy to check each individual website so RSS Feeds are great alternative. Whatever you choose to do, just try to diversify enough that no one company can completely kill your access to your faves on a whim and remember that the closer to direct communication you can get to with creatives the better.

[sweatervest-obsessed]

You're Keeping Me Down

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader (she/her)

WC: ~5.8k

TW: mentions of trauma, mentions of Maeve, kissing, previous relationships, swearing, alcohol, so much crying, bad decisions, girlbossing

A/N: ayo....angsty teehee. I hope y'all like it! It's a sequel to Dedicated to New Lovers and was inspired mainly by Sara Bareilles's Gravity, some Harry Styles, and other sad songs. I hope y'all enjoy it!! I really do love reading all of your comments, and tags, and feedback because it makes me so happy to know you guys are enjoying the writing!! <3

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” ~Maya Angelou

Something always brought you back to Doctor Spencer Reid. No matter how hard you tried, no matter how much you fought it, something about the universe could not keep you away from him for too long. 

It was like the two of you were attached at opposite ends of a string, always pulling you towards one another, ignoring whatever you had been feeling beforehand. 

There was nothing you could do to escape him. You had tried traversing the globe, studying in Greece and Turkey, or taking vacations in the most remote villages of China; you had even done a two-week expedition traveling to Antarctica. But somehow, some way, Spencer Reid stayed in the back of your mind. 

Sometimes, it was like he was right next to you. You could still feel him next to you in your bed, or if you were alone in your car, your hand was absently reaching toward the passenger seat, only to feel the leather and not his leg. 

Maybe it was because all of those stupid little facts he had spouted to you were resting in the back of your mind, popping up when you’d come across anything he would have told you about. 

It was something you missed. He would just ramble on about anything to you, watching the joy on his face as he continued to speak, so grateful to have an audience, to have someone who cared. But you’d have to remind yourself that Spencer chose her as his audience instead of you. 

Her. 

The guilt of Maeve’s death followed you around more than Spencer did. At first, it was anything to do with therapists. The thought of choosing someone to speak to outside of your circle was a betrayal you had felt, and you couldn’t bring yourself to do the same. Then it was your distrust of your friends, watching as they became less and less frequent in your life. 

Work was all-consuming. You knew this fact well. Being one of the top profilers in the FBI meant that news of your transfer went fast, and the job offers came even quicker. But you decided to take some time off to rediscover the girl you once knew, someone outside her job. 

The BAU was simply your life for the past eight years. You worked at the BAU, you dated inside of the BAU, and your friends were all within the BAU–It was honestly a joke that it all had decided to come crumbling down once you felt secure in your life, in your job, in your relationship. 

You had filed the paperwork that allowed you to take two months of paid leave, not to leave the department. Your social media suddenly became filled with images of Ancient Greek monuments, Italian Vineyards, the French and Swiss Alps, and cities you once only visited in your wildest dreams. 

Escaping reality was the best way to rediscover who you are. And so you tried.

When you returned from your two months, you had walked into the BAU bullpen and straight to Hotch’s office. Your skin was tanner, and your hair was a bit lighter from all of the sun. You were suddenly this confident woman again, but you weren’t who you were before, making you nearly unrecognizable. 

“Y/N, please come in.” 

You smiled warmly at Hotch, giving him a quick hug. 

“You look good. How were your travels?” 

You smiled and leaned against the wall, not wanting to sit since that meant you would be here longer than you wanted. 

“It was everything I needed it to be, Hotch .” You nodded to the file on his desk with your name on it. “I take it Garcia ‘accidentally’ discovered my file and decided to drop it off?” 

Hotch sighed and opened the file, looking over at you. “Of course she did. I thought you were just transferring after your leave; I didn’t know you were leaving the Bureau entirely.” 

You nodded, a sad smile making its way onto your face. 

Hotch looked at you, replicating the same sad smile. 

“I wanted to tell you in person since I didn’t want you to find out via paperwork, but I should have known to come to your office first and then file it instead of filing it on my way to your office.” 

A soft chuckle passed through Hotch’s lips as he nodded. “We’re going to miss you more than before, Y/N.” 

“I won't be gone forever, Hotch. You can’t get rid of me that easily.” 

“I know.” He rounded the desk, giving you a quick hug, arm on your shoulder. “You have my number.” 

You gave him a quick smile, nodding, “Don’t worry, Jack will still be getting weekly updates about my travels, and expect a box of goodies occasionally. I have to uphold my reigning title of the coolest aunt ever.” 

As you left Hotch’s office, you didn’t notice Spencer at the coffee station. You didn’t see as he watched you quickly drop a note off on Emily’s desk and another on Derek’s desk before stepping into the elevator for the last time for the next two years. 

You didn’t notice the heartbreak in his eyes, and you didn’t notice the fact that he had overheard as you told Hotch you weren’t coming back to the FBI at all. 

But somehow, you found yourself back in that same elevator, visitor badge clipped to the new dress you had received as a gift from a friend during your month-long stay in India last year. The fabric draped across your body, highlighting how beautiful your curves were, and the colors brought out this newfound radiance in your skin, your eyes, your smile...

Color was the newest development in your life. The BAU meant that everything was in professional shades of blue, black, white, or maybe a subdued purple or green if you felt risky. But suddenly, your wardrobe burst through the rainbow as you experimented with patterns and shades, basking in this newfound joy beyond the world of suits. 

Eighteen months of experimenting–with life, with colors, with places you called home, with love.

You had two brief “love affairs” as Garcia lovingly called them. One was only two weeks long, but the other was a few months. Yet both were missing something special and could barely converse with you. Maybe that was how Spencer felt. And the sex wasn’t all that great either.  

And yet, after Eighteen months, an award, four nominations, a cat, a mediocre short-term relationship, and one groundbreaking dissertation that led to a Ph.D. later, you found yourself back in that damned elevator. 

You inhaled sharply as you heard the tiny ding, doors opening up to a sight that made your stomach twist. It was truly bittersweet to be back, to visit the place that once carried everything in your life, and to have it be so foreign to you. 

But what was not so foreign was how one Derek Morgan looked up as the door opened and his eyes filled to the brim with light. 

“Well, well, well, look who it is.” He dropped his file on his desk and met you in the middle of the side aisle of the bullpen, pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. “My woman.” He muttered into your hair, giving you an extra squeeze before pulling away slightly. 

“What’s up, sexy.” You laughed, thrilled to hear he hadn’t changed too much while you were away. 

“I’m sexy? Have you seen yourself recently?” He laughed, and you gave him a twirl, eager to show off one of your favorite dresses. “And where did you get this? Wait, wait, let me guess.” 

You pursed your lips, failing to hide the smile that was beaming across your face. 

“Was it your time in Taiwan? No no…Pakistan?” 

“So close. India. Maybe next time, champ.” You patted his arm, turning your head at the gasp behind me. 

“Do my eyes deceive me, or is that Doctor Y/N Y/L/N, world traveler extraordinaire?” 

“JJ, you saw me three days ago.” 

JJ pulled you into a hug. “Yeah, over Facetime,” she grumbled, not even trying to pretend she was upset at the sight of you in person. “You seriously have to stop sending Henry so much stuff.” 

“Some of it is for the other one, too.” You muttered to her, knowing she wasn’t fully public with her pregnancy at the BAU just yet. 

“I’ll be right back, I promise, I just have to say hi to Hotch first.” You placed your hands on their arms, turning towards Hotch’s office. As you went to knock on the door, it opened, leaving you face to face with the only person you weren’t ready to confront just yet. 

“Hi.” He breathed out.

And fuck you, he looked so good. 

“Hi, Spencer.” 

You watched as a wave of emotion rippled across his face. His name almost tasted weird in your mouth, not something you’ve often said in the two years apart. 

“I’ll, um..” He moved to step out of the way, letting you maneuver into Hotch’s office. 

But you had also tried to move, causing you and Spencer to almost collide, causing his hand to barely grace your waist. A spark flew through your skin at the thought of his touch, causing goosebumps up and down your body. 

You both muttered an apology, eyes not leaving the other until you quickly moved into Hotch’s office, causing him to move back, still watching as you closed the door in his face.

While you spoke to Hotch, catching up, Spencer was down in the bullpen at his desk, barely even trying to move them away from the windows. 

JJ and Derek stood around his desk, looking from the office to Spencer and back again. 

“She’s back.” He said simply when Kate approached them, wondering why they were all standing around, staring at Hotch’s office. 

“Who?” Kate crossed her arms, looking between the agents, hoping for an answer.

Spencer said your name for the first time in a very long time. And it was almost as if his brain whirred to life, like some part of him had been dormant for a long time. 

“Doctor.” 

Spencer gave Derek a weird look. “What?” 

“It’s Doctor Y/N Y/L/N now, Pretty Boy.” 

Spencer let his mouth fall into a small oh, letting his mind sink deeper and deeper into the pit of you. 

When you had originally left, Spencer decided to try and ignore you. It didn’t work, but he wouldn’t seek you out purposefully. He never looked up your name and tried to steer clear of the conversations involving you. But he wondered why you had never mentioned wanting to get a doctorate beforehand. He would have remembered something like that. He should have remembered something like that. ______________________________________________________________

The thought of Spencer’s fingers on your waist was the only thing you could think about for the rest of the day. Your skin hadn’t stopped tingling, and suddenly you wanted to drown in his touch, let his hands roam over your body and— “Stop it.” You said out loud as you put in your earrings. 

Your mind wasn’t playing far. 

“What did you say, sweetheart?” 

“Nothing, just talking to myself!” You called back, sighing as you smoothed out the front of the dress you had changed into. 

The team had decided to throw you a welcome-back party that night, generously hosted by David Rossi. And since they had all wanted an excuse to get dressed up, you gave them that much, meaning you had to dawn heels and a touch of makeup to accentuate the features you wanted. It also meant you got to pull out another stunning dress you had bought. 

Celebrating your doctorate, which you completed a year early, you had flown to Milan with Emily Prentiss and decided to go shopping, which is how you ended up with the current dress you were wearing. 

It fits you in all the right places, showing off just enough cleavage to be tasteful but maybe tempt something a bit more. You wondered if Spencer would like—

“God, I forgot how hot you look in that dress.” 

“Emily Prentiss, I could kiss you on the mouth.” 

Emily laughed and looped her arm through yours, staring at the two of you in the mirror. 

“Thank you for flying in on such short notice.” You whispered, unable to take your eyes off of the reflection staring back at you.

“We can call the whole thing off right now…”

You shook your head and smiled at her. “It’s for me. And I really want some of Rossi’s cooking right about now. Especially now that I can compare my worldly experiences with the Italian Masterchef himself.” You laughed, causing Emily to laugh with you. 

“Let's get going, yeah?” 

The ride to Rossi’s house on the outskirts of Washington D.C. made for a relaxing drive, filled with updates from your best friend about each other’s lives, even though it had only been a month since you had seen each other last. 

“I think you’re being perfectly reasonable, hun.” 

“You’re saying that because all I do is cry these days,” you grumbled, kissing the head of the black cat in your lap. 

Emily laughed and took a sip of her wine. “Or maybe I just know that you need a change of scenery. You’ve dedicated your entire life to the BAU and now you need to explore the entire rest of the world.” 

“I think you just want to go to Greece with me.” 

“You know how much I love Mamma Mia….”

You cracked a smile and picked up your glass. “Maybe Em, I’m not sure…I just…”

Emily watched as you looked up, trying to keep the tears from your eyes. 

“I know he’s not worth the tears,” you mumbled, but you exhaled slowly. “It’ll just hit me sometimes.” 

She stayed quiet, watching as you slowly worked through whatever was happening in your head. 

“It’s like he’s right next to me sometimes. I…It’s like sometimes my own head is against me for not talking to him. I heard a song the other day, and I immediately turned to tell him something about it and–It’s like he’s ruling over my mind—” You huffed angrily. “I feel like I’m not making any sense–god.” You downed your wine and placed the glass on the table. “Maybe I’m just meant to wallow and drink wine and be completely useless for the rest of my life…past my prime, past my worth. I was so—I was so fucking sure he was the one…Like there's this strong attachment to my chest and I’m connected to him for eternity, regardless of whether he loves me or not.” 

Emily pulled you into her arms while you cried, rubbing your back. 

“You are so much more than him, hun. You will go out in the world, figure out who you are again, and stand so tall, just how you’re supposed to.”

“So tall.” Emily looked at you as she parked the car in Rossi’s driveway. 

“Just the way I’m supposed to be.” You whispered, looking over at her, smiling.  ______________________________________________________________

You’ve been to Rossi’s more times than you could ever admit, but it managed to take your breath away every single time. After his first wife had passed away, he had put in a garden near the edge of his backyard, providing beautiful color for you to look at from the porch. 

Somehow, you always had a half-full glass, managing to have someone always get you a new drink when you seemed low. 

You managed to talk to Jack and Henry, telling them all about the wonders of the world you had seen, then being pulled away by Garcia to discuss that brief love affair you had in Argentina, which then led to telling Derek about your time in England, studying for your doctorate. 

Gratefully, you excused yourself when Rossi announced that dinner had been served, leading you to the tables set up in the backyard, filled to the brim with all your favorite foods. He had simply done too much. 

Dinner was filled with smiles, laughs, and chatter about the ‘good ol days’ and the newer memories being made. You had become acquainted with Kate Callahan, Emily’s replacement. She seemed nice enough, but you both were hesitant of one another. 

Spencer was sitting across the table from you. The two of you would catch glances at one another, passing moments where you couldn’t help but notice the way the wind ruffled his hair or the way the garden’s fairy lights reflected in his eyes. 

“So, what brings you back to Washington,” Hotch asks you the question every person at the table has been dying to hear the answer to. 

“Oh! Well…” You blushed slightly and shrugged. “It’s not that big of a deal, but I was just offered a position at Georgetown as an adjunct professor. If I take it, I’ll teach classes for at least the next semester. That is if I like it more than King’s College in London..”

The table erupted into congratulations, ending with a toast from Rossi.

You all raised your glass in “Salut”, and took a sip from your drink, but you couldn't help but look at Spencer, who was already looking at you. 

Excusing yourself from the table, you went inside quickly, walking towards the kitchen sink. You ran your hands under the cool water before splashing it across your face. 

“Y/n…”

There it was. The moment you had been dreading. The two of you were alone, no one else to buffer you, no one else to take your arm and drag you to the dance floor. 

“Spencer.” You turned around, your body leaning against the sink. God, you felt so small, so unable to watch yourself. 

“That’s a–that’s a beautiful dress.” 

“Milan.” You mused, fiddling with the ring on your pinky finger, unable to look away from the man before you. 

“Ah.” 

The silence hurt. Watching the two of you must have been painful because you could feel it. You once told this man everything about yourself; he once knew how your day went by one singular sigh. He could have told you what you were in the mood to eat for breakfast just by how you woke up. 

But now, you didn’t even know what to say. 

“Georgetown.” 

You nodded and looked down at your nails, seeming that they felt like a safer bet to look at. “Yeah, uh…should be fun. Can I–” You looked up at him. “Can I ask you something?” 

Spencer’s head nodded, and you pursed your lips, looking out the window and watching as your friends and family all laughed together and ate together. 

“When I was…um.” You cleared your throat, willing away the tears that had instantly sprung to your eyes. “When I was packing up all my stuff two years ago…I found the…W-Was it for her or…” You braced yourself for impact. Waiting for him to respond. 

Spencer’s eyes glassed over, and his mouth formed a small oh. He fiddled with his ring finger and looked out past you through the window. He couldn’t bear to watch the travesty he was about to cause. 

“You.” 

“Oh.” Fuck this. Fuck. You had sobbed over finding it for three hours while packing and then  sobbed again as you moved out. Somehow, hearing it out loud was worse. 

He was going to propose to you.

Spencer Reid had wanted to marry you. And god, that hurt. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, and then he told you that he wasn’t in love with you anymore. 

You didn’t care if you were reserving a spot in hell for yourself by damning an already dead woman. Her death meant Spencer could feel an ounce of the grief you just dug up. A sliver of the pain. 

Suddenly, you felt his hand on your jaw, a thumb on your cheek, wiping away the tear that had escaped your eye. “I am so sorry.” He whispered. 

And that broke the damn. 

He pulled you into his arms, and you let him, surrounding yourself with Spencer. Letting the smell of his cologne wash over you, letting him squeeze you tightly like he used to so long ago. The feeling of his chest rising and falling gave you such comfort that your brain was screaming at you to run away from it. You had finally built all your walls back up; you felt as if you could finally exist, but here in his arms, the world was silent. 

In his arms, you felt fragile; you felt so small. All of the strength you had was gone. And it felt so fucking good to not have to be the strong one, the person with the brave face. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

His lips kissed your hair, arm running up and down your back, trying so desperately to bring back that sense of comfort he once could provide you. And it was fucking working. God, why was it working. Why did it feel good? Why couldn’t you pull away? 

“Spence…” You mumbled into his shirt, that had been stained by your tears. You shook your head. “I can’t…We can’t…”

He pulled away from you slightly, eyes saddened, and you couldn’t tell if it was because you were rejecting him or because he still loved you just as much as you loved him. 

“I love you.” 

You pulled away from the kiss, hand on his chest, smiling brightly at him. “What?”

It was the most beautiful you had ever looked, Spencer decided. 

Your lips were puffy from how much the two of you were kissing, hair messy from his hands running through it, eyes wide with just as much love repeated in his own. 

“I love you.” He repeated, smiling beyond measure.

“Say it again.” You mumbled, yanking him back down to your lips, kissing him again and again. 

“I love you so much, y/n y/l/n.” 

You pulled away, laughter filling up the entire room. Pure joy echoed and bounced off of the walls. 

Spencer bit his lip, pulling away slightly. You hadn’t set it back. 

“Spence…” You cupped both cheeks with your hand, thumb rubbing over his bottom lip. “I love you too.” 

Just saying it caused you to giggle, full of love and pure joy. 

Loving anyone else would have caused you to gag–it still does. 

But the memory makes you shudder, causing you to step out of his arms, quickly wiping away your tears or trying your best to. 

The thought of love made you want to rip your head off. It made you want to sink to the bottom of the ocean and never resurface. 

Spencer said your name, making you shake your head. 

“You don’t love me Spencer. You haven’t for a long time.” The admission caused a resurgence of tears, making him take a step towards you. “No, Spencer, no.” 

You shook your head again. “I-I can’t…you hurt me. You…you left me for someone you had never even met. She was–god.” 

“I never loved her the way I love you.” 

“No.” You whispered, chest heaving. “No, no. You can’t..fuck. Don’t say that shit–why would you say that shit to me.” 

“Because it's the truth.” He said softly, too calmly for you to just ignore it. 

“How can you stand there and say that to me? You don’t mean it—You can’t..” The past two year’s worth of therapy, of moving on, of becoming your own, came crumbling down because fuck, you didn’t know what to believe anymore. “How can you just…You don’t fucking mean it.” 

“I know you don’t believe me, but I–”

“Don’t believe you?” You laughed at that, tears mixing with the stabs in your chest, dropping past your mouth as it laughed and laughed and laughed. “Then why did you fucking leave me. Why–Why–Why did you tell me to move out and…God Spencer, why did you come here tonight.” 

You were almost hysterical at that point; all Spencer could do was watch. He couldn't touch you because every time he tried, you’d move away or lose some part of your mind even more. 

“What about me was so–so–so, so boring, so understimulating to you, so desperately ignorant that you told me you didn’t love me anymore, that you kicked me out of our home, that made you reconsider wanting to marry me. And you know, I get it, I do. You found someone on your level intellectually, I get it. But still, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life–what did she have that I didn’t, huh? What about her made her more appealing to talk to than me? ” 

“She…”

“She what, Spencer.”

“I wasn’t–”

“No.” You were leaning back against the counter, trying to gain some semblance of yourself back from the spiral you were on. “Don’t lie to me. Don’t give me some ‘unworthy’ thought process because maybe you’re fucking eidetic memory doesn’t remember all of the conversations we used to have, but I fucking do. I couldn’t cut them out of my skin if I tried, and god did I try.” 

Spencer stared at you, dumbfounded. He didn’t know what to do; he couldn’t function. All he could do was watch the pieces of you shatter all over, reliving the exact moments you were, but instead of being able to make it right, all he could watch as you closed yourself off more and more. 

“Y-you tried?” 

“God, Spencer, did you even look at me during those months.” 

“I…” He just looked at you, really looked at you. “I couldn’t.”

You scoffed, wiping away the tears on your cheeks, and straightened out your dress. 

“The only fucking thing I know is that if I don’t walk away now, then I will hate myself for the rest of my life for letting you talk me back into loving you again. And the worst part is, I still do. I don’t think I could ever love anyone again because of how much love I have for you, after everything we had been through, but—”

He kissed you.

Or you kissed him. 

You weren’t sure. 

But all you knew was that his hands were on your waist, and your hands were on his cheeks, and his lips were touching yours, and everything felt so right within the world, and your body was against his and just–

“Fuck.” You quickly pulled away, both of you panting, staring at one another, unsure about what happened. 

You two just stared at one another for what felt like forever until you heard Emily call your name from the porch. You took another step away, back against the kitchen counter, smoothing your hair and crossing your arms. 

Emily walked in and eyed the two of you, misreading the tension as something more antagonistic from before than what had actually happened. 

“Uh, Rossi made you a cake…” She looked between the both of you, watching as you nodded at her, standing up fully. You followed behind her, sparing one last look at Spencer, who was just looking at where you were standing. 

______________________________________________________________

“Uh, hi, sorry, could you point me toward Agent Hotchner’s Office.” 

The person whose shoulder you tapped turned around and gave you one of the most beautiful smiles you had ever seen. 

“Well hello, gorg–”

“Derek. Don’t be rude.” The woman next to Derek had elbowed him in the ribs, preventing more HR training for the both of them. “Hi. You must be Y/n. I’m Penelope, and that’s Derek, don’t mind him.” She looped her arm through yours and started to lead you towards the little staircase on the side of the room. 

“Hotch’s office is right up here.” 

“I–Thank you, Penelope.” You smiled at her. 

“I’ve read your file.” She whispered, smiling back at you. “I’m really excited to work with you because you are one impressive woman, let me tell you.” 

You blushed slightly, about to respond, but Penelope had knocked on Hotch’s door, causing a voice to tell you to “come in.” 

“Welcome to the team.” She pulled away, leaving you to enter Aaron Hotchner’s office for the first of many times. 

You opened the door and smiled at the man at the desk. “Hi, I’m–”

“Y/n Y/l/n, You have a very impressive resume. Please, take a seat.” He stood to shake your hand, gesturing to the chair before his desk. You quickly scanned the photos along the walls, the books on his shelves. 

“Everyone knows who I am before I know who they are.” You laughed slightly, taking the seat. 

“Yes, well, We’re all very excited to have you join us here.” 

The memory of your first day hit you like a wave when Aaron pulled your seat out for you back at the table outside. You stalled for only a second, but it was long enough for any of the various profilers at the table to notice something was off. 

You smiled through the speeches, and you laughed at the jokes and cried at the sweetness of your friends, but you were somewhere far away, dreaming about the moments that led you up to where you were. 

“And that is why I am glad to have you back because clearly, the universe respects you enough to let us all come together to celebrate the return of our Y/n.” You raised your glass and cheer with Rossi, standing up to hug him. 

“Now.” You smiled at all of the faces that looked up at you. “Let us eat cake!!” 

The table erupted and while Rossi cut slices for each of you, you sat back down, listening to what Garcia was telling you, but your eyes kept darting to the person directly across from you. 

You could feel his eyes any time they were on you, and you knew they were fleeting glances, but it was just too much. 

“Want to take a walk with me through the rose garden?” 

You nodded, standing up and accepting Derek’s arm, letting him lead you towards the garden, enjoying the fresh air and the sudden weight off of your shoulders. You couldn’t feel his gaze anymore but you knew he was still looking at you. 

“What’s next on your list of adventures.” Derek looked at you, watching the millions of emotions race across your face before settling on a smile and a shrug. 

“I’m not sure yet. You know about Georgetown, but I don’t know about D.C. anymore….”

Derek nodded and pulled out the chair at the small wire table. It sat under a trellis filled with gorgeously bloomed roses and baby’s breath. The smell was almost overwhelmingly fragrant. 

You gratefully took it and watched as he went and sat across from you. 

“You looked like you got a bit overwhelmed back there.” 

“What happened to not profiling me like I asked?” 

Derek chuckled, “It’s not profiling if it’s written on your sleeve.” 

You sighed and looked out at some of the flowers. “I don't…”

He let you work through it in your mind, just glad to keep you company while you figured your shit out. 

Eventually, you spoke up. “It’s weird.” 

Derek hummed in agreement. 

“I don’t know. Just. I felt like I was doing so well, and I was becoming my own person, figuring out who I was, and then I come back here, and suddenly I’m back to being that twenty-two-year-old kid who breezed her way through the academy. It’s like I did everything in my power to end up where I did, and then the universe told me I fucked up and should have done something else.” 

“I don’t think you fucked up in the slightest. Do you know how many people you saved?”

You went to brush off his comment, but Derek didn’t let you get a word in. 

“I know your entire world got completely fucked over, but you were meant to be in BAU. You were supposed to be there. I cannot think of my life without you, I know Garcia can’t, and I know Emily would tear you a new one if you even brought up to her the possibility that you being in her life was a mistake.” 

“Yeah, and now I’m thirty, with a doctorate and a cat, and no idea what to do with my life.” 

“But you also just spent the last two years seeing the world–how many countries did you go to…”

You pursued your lips, trying to count in your head. A blush spread across your face as you mumbled the number. 

“Sorry, wanna repeat that for me?” 

“At least fifty…” 

“That’s what I thought.” A very proud look crossed Derek's face, smiling at you. 

You looked down at your left hand, fiddling with your ring finger. No matter how hard Derek tried, no matter how much you enjoyed his company and the way he was keeping your ego healthily inflated, you couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that you could have been married–you could have been happy. 

“He told me when he bought it.” 

Your eyes snapped to Derek’s, and he looked at you with such soft eyes. 

That was something you had always loved about Derek. No matter how much he cared for you, no matter how gently he was being, he never treated you like a piece of glass.

“He, uh, I was the only one he told.” 

You nodded, waiting for him to continue. 

“When did you find it?” 

“When I was moving my things out of the apartment.” 

“Damn…” 

“Yeah.” You laughed. It was colder than usual but still antagonistic at the whole situation. “I…um. I found it on the last day when I was cleaning out my bedside table. He knew I never went into the bottom drawer because I literally never kept anything in there, but I checked because, you know, I was asked to leave, and…there it was. It was just…It’s ironic, really, how perfect it was, too. They say that if a guy can’t get the ring right, then he’s not the one for you, but no one preps you on if it’s the perfect ring, perfect size, but you had just broken up two days before you found it…” 

Derek nodded, letting you ramble. 

“I feel like I’m being weighed down by a million different things, yet they’re all him.” 

“What are you going to do about it?”

“I have no fucking idea.” 

"Sometimes good things fall apart, so that better things can fall together." ~ Marilyn Monroe

Part 3

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Tags: @lilrios-world @gubzgirl @mynameisnotokay @hereforfun22-blog @yoursarahg @mega-kittyglitter-1 @onlyspence

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Yandere coworker (part 9)

Tw: afab reader, non con touching, non con kissing, violence, cyprus mad n yelling

Masterlists, part 1, part 10

It's been a little over a month now. You barely get to sleep at your own apartment anymore ever since you got that fever.

Because Cyprus kept stealing your stuff and blackmailing you with it, you've never missed a night of sleeping at his place. It's like you're living there now, your pyjamas are Cyprus's large clothes and you've been wearing the same few outfits to work over and over, thanks to the free washing services downstairs.

Once or twice, he lets you visit your home just to pack up your skincare, soaps and whatever you need. He already bought you a new toothbrush earlier on in this relationship. Cyprus wouldn't allow you to take your gaming consoles though, he said he didn't want it to "clog up" his apartment.

It's... Nice. You didn't have to worry about what to eat. The bills are paid for. Your rent was also paid for despite barely living there anymore, you had no idea how Cyprus managed to transfer the accounts to his without you knowing. It didn't seem to put too much pressure on him, he was still as cool as a cucumber. You wonder how much he earns in a month.

You didn't have to deal with that creep back at your apartment, but you knew that he was lurking around, watching you and Cyprus during the rare visits. However, as long as that hunk of a man is next to you, he wouldn't dare to approach. That's a plus, at least.

You just had to get used to Cyprus's molester tendencies. It doesn't matter how hostile you would be with him, he would always try to seize every possible opportunity to touch you.

He would pull you into the staircase during lunch, just to make out with you until your legs grow weak and your head goes blank. Cyprus said it helps with his insatiable urge to smoke, you think it's at least helping him, so you're somewhat okay with this treatment. Totally not because you're secretly enjoying the attention and experiences he's giving you.

You managed to convince yourself that being with Cyprus isn't all that bad. He cooks, he cleans, he defends you from Jane, he prepares a cup of your favourite drink every morning and delivers it to your desk, he clocks you out and helps you greatly with your phone addiction.

He sets a limit where you can only use your phone for a grand total of two hours per day. Just to text your friends and family, but he made you delete all social media off your digital slab. Which caused a massive meltdown on your part, where you would cry and flail, and spit and hiss. But Cyprus was unmoving, he's determined to rid you of his modern curse.

Most of your time is filled with doing something else, visiting the beach, and the park, going on motorbike rides with Cyprus, having his tongue shoved down your throat, watching his violent boxing matches, eating at restaurants, talking, and visiting places that you always see on social media, but never been to (Ie., the zoo, the aquarium, carnivals and some other trending venues). You would come back dead exhausted from the day's activities, and you're astonished at how he never seems to run out of energy or date ideas.

You could cry, sob, beg, and struggle, yet he wouldn't allow you to rot in his bed or yours. There must be a destination to go to every day, after work. He would sling your entire body over his shoulder if he had to, it wasn't a fun experience being hung upside down while your legs helplessly flail around.

His lifestyle was completely different than yours, it's almost as if he's living in the 80s- sometimes even completely forgetting to bring his phone with him. That is unfathomable to you, forgetting your phone is just like forgetting your vision, how anyone could live without it, you couldn't understand.

It would be a lie to say that you never had any fun. You would start off teary-eyed and throwing a tantrum because all you wanted to do was take a nap or play your videogames after a long day of work, but in the end, you would be laughing gleefully with cotton candy in one hand, and a stuffed animal in another. You would collapse immediately upon coming back to his place, allowing you to have a complete, 8 hours of sleep a day without fail.

As it turns out, Cyprus only uses his gadgets for work or for research on where to go, or date ideas. Not even for navigation, he used old-fashioned paper maps for that. His screen time is unbelievably low, you wonder if he's actually a modern man or someone from the pre-smartphone era.

Cyprus began to have a "candy drawer" at work, where he would offer sweet treats to nobody but you.

You think he's using that as a substitute for smoking during hours when he couldn't assault your mouth with his, putting actual work into quitting his habit. It's almost admirable, you just wish that he didn't rope you into it as well. You missed your phone badly.

From there, you found out that his favorite candies are mostly cinnamon-flavoured or chewy liquorice sticks. Oddly enough, you couldn't taste whatever he ate when you and he mashed kissers. There is a faint hint of cinnamon, but the licorice isn't there. There was a moderately intense scent of mint, though.

Now everyone in the office knows that you and Cyprus are a pair. Even those from other departments and floors knew not to steal you away from him. Because he once caught someone from marketing flirting with you, he was then let go a few days later. You and your coworkers knew he had something to do with it since he kept entering his supervisor's office with a stack of papers.

You took a peek at them once, their account balances, supposedly serving as evidence that his rival was embezzling company funds with the help of someone in Finance.

There was a new hire that tried to make moves on you. Cyprus made it very clear that you were his by interrupting the conversation with a passionate kiss on your lips. He then barked at the newbie to leave you alone. It's now a must to tell all newcomers about your relationship with Cyprus, and why he isn't to be messed with.

It's very different from the usual, stoic, and professional Cyprus the office once knew. On all matters relating to work or otherwise, he still maintains that frosty, quiet, and monotonous exterior. But when it comes to you? The message is clear: Do not touch his woman. Even looking at you wrongly will cause him to try and sabotage their career.

Your coworkers used that new feature to their advantage. If they wanted to find him for something (Ie., regarding the annual financial report, discuss an error from his side, politics, etc.), all they needed to do was find you and exchange a couple of words. Cyprus will then appear to manifest out of thin air to possessively protect his territory.

They knew not to abuse it too much, though. A man tried to summon him through you one time too many, he came back from lunch late, with an eye swollen shut, a bloody nose, some teeth knocked out of his mouth and bruises all over his body. When quizzed about what happened, he refused to say anything to anyone and refused to press charges on his anonymous assailant. He avoided your gaze and ran away whenever you tried talking to him. Shortly after, he transferred departments and you never saw him around again.

You still didn't know what he said to Jane to make her deathly afraid of him. To this date, she hasn't tried anything with you; allowing you to go home at 5 pm sharp and holding her tongue whenever you made a mistake.

You have come to know a lot about him since he likes talking; sharing about himself and knowing more about you. Unfortunately, Cyprus remarked how embarrassing it is that you have nothing to say about yourself except to describe what you see online. And you didn't realize what you did until he pointed it out, which kept you up at night reflecting on your life so far.

He has friends that he would regularly talk about, they were who you would think Cyprus would associate with: Loud, brash, and sharing a mutual hatred for work and their superiors.

You couldn't remember the names of his closest friends, maybe it's because you believed that this relationship between him and you wouldn't last long. However, you do know he has three best friends, all male.

Today, he's bringing you to meet them in the same pub where you first ate dinner with him. Of course, you didn't want to go. He had to drag you into his car, hissing and spitting as usual. You felt insulted that he would be nonchalant, carrying you without being visibly affected by your hits. As if you're his inanimate suitcase.

When the car starts moving, you would turn docile. Not wanting him to crash or injure yourself by jumping out. He would always have a victorious grin on his face, knowing that he won once again.

You're nervous because you already don't like Cyprus. You couldn't imagine dealing with three more, it might just cause a blood vessel in your forehead to pop. Your boyfriend tried reassuring you by rubbing your thigh while he drove. No matter how you press against the door to try and get away from his grabby hands, he will always reach you.

Reaching the pub, he parked in a spot but told you to wait in the car for a while. It didn't take long until the deafening noises of motorbikes made you shut your ears with your hands. You peered out the window to see three, black and sleek motorcycles pull up around Cyprus's cars. Their drivers all wore leather jackets with customized helmets, and a feminine figure was behind each one, which you assume was his buddies' girlfriends.

They excitedly hopped off their vehicles and started knocking on Cyprus's windows. You cower deeper into your seat in fear as Cyprus rolls them down.

"What the hell, Cy? Just got out of work or something?" One of his friends stuck his arm into the window and pressed on the honk, making you wince at the sudden loudness.

"Yeah, what's with the car? We always come here with our bikes!" Another one slapped the top of Cyprus's car.

"Don't tell us you agreed to work overtime!" The last one jabbed Cyprus in the head, causing your boyfriend to jab his friend's head back.

"Oh my god! Is that her? She's so cute!" The women gushed at you as they took off their helmets. "Hi! What's your name?" You squirmed uncomfortably when they all jutted their hands inside the car to squeeze your cheeks, stroke your hair, and tickle your chin. You felt so violated, already at the brink of tears as their girlfriends continued taking turns petting you.

"Get the fuck away from my car, all of you!" Roared Cyprus, he was so loud that your ear temporarily rang. You couldn't imagine what it was like for his friends that are right next to him.

They backed off, but it didn't seem like they were surprised or upset. Instead, they were giggling and smiling at each other. Is it normal for Cyprus to lose his temper like this?

He stormed out of his car and started yelling at his friends and their partners. "What the fuck is wrong with all of you? I told you all to behave, look at what you did to my girl!" Cyprus marched up to your door, glowering at the women in the process.

He opened the door and cupped your cheeks, wiping away the tears that you didn't know were falling from your eyes.

"Aw... We're sorry." The women had a guilty and sympathetic look on their faces. The men awkwardly looked away and scratched the back of their heads.

"Give me a moment to talk to them, doll." He murmured, tenderly kissing you on the forehead before turning around to scowl at his friends.

All six of them already knew where Cyprus wanted them to go, it was like watching a dog herding sheep into a secluded place.

You watched Cyprus yell at them harshly while their gazes were downcast, it seemed like the girlfriends got more scolding than the men. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion when you spotted that it almost seemed like they were trying to stifle a laugh while being torn a new one by Cyprus. Are they not afraid of him? Do they not respect him, or is this just their dynamic?

He stomped back to you once he was done flaming their asses, while the rest went into the pub.

Cyprus sighed as he shook his head in disapproval, he unbuckled your belt and held onto your hand.

"Come on, let's go in."

__

You're seated next to your boyfriend at a large table, and one of the girlfriends excitedly takes the chair beside you. He narrowed his eyes suspiciously at her as he hooked his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him.

Now that you had a closer look, you noticed that the women wore beautiful and stylish clothes, had long, healthy hair, had long, acrylic nails on, and their thick makeup looked like it was applied by a professional.

The first ten minutes were spent catching up between the men and their partners, joking around. You were too intimidated to participate, opting to anxiously grip your pint of beer and pretending to drink, so you wouldn't need to speak. All that anger and rage from Cyprus evaporated, he is much more playful and animated now, yet equally as loud as his friends.

You had to jam your fingers into your ear canal to bear with the explosive environment.

"Oh, what about this cutie right here? We didn't even catch your name, and we made you cry. Poor thing." Dread washed over you as the girl next to you suddenly brought all seven pairs of eyes on you.

You took a deep breath as everyone fell silent, waiting for your response. Eventually, you stammered your name.

There was a beat of silence, followed by one of the men cheering excitedly, and then all of them joined in, boisterously welcoming you into the circle.

You took a deep breath and exhaled, this is going to be a long night...

Each of them fought to ask you questions about yourself, cutting each other off and speaking at the same time. You couldn't tell who was saying what, and what was being said. It is just one big cacophony of voices.

Only when you brought your palms to your ears, Cyprus shouted one more time to shut everyone up.

"I told you all to fucking behave! We're leaving if you all can't stop acting like animals!" He berated.

You looked around, there were patrons throwing glances your way, but most of them didn't care. It didn't make the situation any less awkward for you.

"Aww... We're sorry." The woman next to you had her hand hovering over your head, about to patronizingly stroke your hair as if you were a leashed pet, but Cyprus slapped it away and glared at her.

She merely rolled her eyes at Cyprus and huffed, dramatically flopping onto her man's chest. Her boyfriend gave numerous kisses on the 'injured' hand as she mock sobbed.

Cyprus spoke for you, basic information about how you and he met. A simple description of your personality, but he did emphasize 'shy' more than twice. You wonder what their definition of 'Shy' meant.

The conversation revolved around you now, but you didn't say a word. Too afraid that you might excite them too much again. It was humiliating to be hiding under Cyprus's jacket while clinging onto him, but they were genuinely scary.

The woman next to you tried to touch you discretely, having her thigh brush yours, her fingers grazing your knee, her stocking-clad feet gently rubbing your calf up and down. Driving you closer and closer to Cyprus until you're positively pressed up against him.

Whenever you looked back at her, she would have this gleeful smile. Well, all the girlfriends had this same look on them whenever you paid them any attention. It's as if they're overcome by cuteness aggression, since they're mildly gyrating in their seats as soon as you made eye contact.

There was a point where they chatted amongst themselves while Cyprus took a couple of sips from his beer. You tugged on his shirt to catch his attention.

"Yes, princess?" He cooed, craning his neck down so he could hear you.

You told him that you want to go home. You don't like his friends, especially their overly friendly partners.

He frowned. He opened his mouth to say something, but one of his friends decided to pipe up.

"Hey! Share with the class, what the hell are you two talking about?"

"She speaks!? We have got to hear it!"

"Come on, Cy! Let us in!"

He slammed his fist on the table, silencing everyone once again and causing a bit of their beers to spill.

"That's it." He growled, rising up from his seat and holding you tight. "We're leaving."

All six of them began whining loudly, pawing at Cyprus and yourself, begging you both to stay.

"You all can fuck off to hell." He spat, whipping out enough cash to cover the beers for you and him.

"Come on, doll. We're going home."

He stared at you, waiting for you to lead the way.

However, you thought about it. Maybe they meant well; just a little too eager to know you. Maybe you could get more information about him through his friends, perhaps you could act like the opposite of his type.

[dreamlifebunny]

bunny's ✨digital detox✨ + manifestation challenge!

hi friends! i've decided to do a little "dopamine detox" so that i can become more present in my day-to-day, connect with myself and my passions, and apply the law. instead of leaving you without any posts, i thought i would turn this short absence of mine into a challenge so that you can join me if you're interested! this is going to be a very simple challenge that mostly focuses on regaining joy in your life, but i hope it can bring you inspiration and peace.

purpose of challenge: to help your brain enjoy simple things again and fill your life with more joy, to get off of social media and apply the law, and to manifest anything you desire. as you can see, this is mostly a challenge to reconnect with ourselves and what brings us joy, but manifestation is the added bonus of this challenge!

step one:

delete or hide apps on your phone or laptop that involve mindless stimulation. for me, this includes tumblr, social media, checking things that give me notifications like my email, etc. normally, tumblr wouldn't be included in this because i use it for learning about the law, but part of this challenge is about getting offline and actually applying the law, so for now i will be deleting it.

step two:

make a list of activities that bring you joy that don't involve mindless stimulation. here are some ideas of things that i like to do if you're having trouble coming up with your own list:

scripting my dream life and coming up with cute scenarios in my head

writing a letter to a friend and decorating it with my own art or stickers

reading a fiction book and getting lost in the story

reading a non-fiction book to learn things about my passions and interests

singing and playing instruments

journaling or filling out writing prompts

going for bike rides or long walks with music

playing fun video games, but not for hours on end like i normally would heh

step three:

decide what you are going to manifest and choose your favourite methods to fulfill yourself! remember, this challenge is about connecting with yourself and what you love, so pick the methods that make you smile. i really enjoy daydreaming about my desires and feeling every emotion in my body that comes up and knowing that my desire is real.

REMEMBER: this challenge is primarily about doing a digital detox to give our brains more happiness. the main goal isn't to manifest, but it is SO much easier to manifest when our brains aren't constantly stimulated and consuming information. our desires manifesting is an added bonus for this challenge!

step four:

as you engage with your life and connect with awareness (who you are at your core) and as you enjoy activities that bring you joy, remind yourself in whatever way feels best to you that you have all of your desires, and that this extra space you're giving your brain is allowing more space for your lovely desires to show up in your life

step five:

report back during the end of any three-day period from when you start this challenge with your results! results could include how you feel, what you learned about yourself, what you manifested or realized about your manifestation, how your days looked without constantly stimulation, or anything you wish to share!

important note:

detoxing from constant stimulation is a HARD THING TO DO! they design apps to make us addicted, and your need for constant stimulation is not your fault. if at any point this challenge brings up feelings of shame or struggle due to the addiction of constant stimulation, make sure you are compassionate and loving to yourself; you're doing a wonderful thing as a gift to yourself and are a good person who is doing something very tricky, and you should be proud that you are even giving it a try. you are strong and badass and deserve the world and all of your desires! if at any point you need to dip out of this challenge, make sure to pat yourself on the back and thank yourself for trying it and know that you can always do it again in the future if you want to c:

love you friends! i am so excited to see the results of this challenge. i am proud of you, i am inspired by you, and i can't wait to see you all soon! 🥰

lots of love, bunny 💕

[moonlightdreamzz]

FOR LIFE — Choi Yeonjun

SUMMARY ✰ You don’t want to bother your ex-boyfriend, Yeonjun, but in the midst of intense heartbreak and questioning why the ones you love always leave you, you have no choice but to invite him over to help you make sense of it.

GENRE ✰ Ex!Yeonjun, Firstlove!Yeonjun, ANGST

🎧 ➤ For Life by EXO

You swipe down on your phone to check the time, which reads 10:00PM.

Your lower lip is practically bleeding from how hard you're biting it, all because of the nervousness you feel as you hover over Yeonjun's phone number. You know you shouldn't reach out to him, even though the last time he saw you, six months ago, his lips planted a delicate kiss on your forehead and he assured you that you could call him whenever you need him.

It’s selfish though, is it not? To interrupt whatever peace he’s gained since the two of you broke up, all because you haven’t been able to find your own? A year and a half has passed, and based off of the scraps of his life he’s allowed you to have through social media, he seems so much better off. He’s constantly traveling, glowing, and you know him—he’s way too beautiful and perfect to not have replaced you by now.

“Fuck it.” You utter. With a shaky thumb, and a quivering voice, you press the call button. You have no clue whether he’ll pick up the phone for you. All you know is that more than anything, you need to hear his voice, and as your first love, and the only ex you don’t absolutely despise, he’s the only person qualified to assist you in this moment.

You’re sitting on the floor in-front of your bed in fetal position, rocking back and forth to the sound of the phone ringing. After three rings, it stops, and so does your heart for a second. Did he send you to voicemail? He probably did. I mean, you would've sent yourself to voicemail if you're being completely honest.

“Hello?”

His voice is clear and unwavering, and now you're frozen in place. Your mouth opens and then closes repeatedly, but words refuse to come out of your mouth and you aren't sure why.

"Hello? Y/N? Maybe she called by accident." He mutters. You hear him getting out of his chair in his studio, the squeaky sound instantly reminding you of all the times you curled up into his lap, content as long as you're with him, but silently wishing he'd give it up for the night and take you home so the two of you could sleep.

“Um, it’s me. Me, as in Y/N. Wait—you know that already.”

You start to relax a little when you hear his consoling chuckle that he uses when you're amusing him. “You don’t think I deleted your number, did you?” You don’t have to see him to know that his left brow has raised teasingly.

“Well it has been a long time.”

“It doesn’t matter how much time has passed. I told you that you can call me whenever. I’m always going to care about you.”

You know he’s a saint—everybody does, but it still catches you off guard every time. His tone is so genuine, and you can hear his the confident smile he’s wearing on his face. He knows he has you feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, holding in your squeal of excitement that you would totally let out if he wasn’t still on the other line.

“Thanks.”

“Is that all you called for? To hear my voice? I didn’t know we were allowed to do that.”

Your eyes shut, and without regret, you slap yourself on the forehead. God, why is he still so good at taking your breath away? “No.” You sigh, “I just—I really just…ugh.”

“Take your time.” He coos.

“Yeonjun.” You wine, a shy hiccup escaping your throat.

“Okay, I’m sorry. It’s just so easy to tease you. What’s wrong?”

“If I’m being honest, I’m a mess.”

“You’re not a mess, Y/N. Don’t say that.”

Had this been a few months ago, you’d stop him right there, asking him if you’re truly not a mess, why didn’t he stay? But that would ruin the mood, wouldn’t it? You hate how quick your emotions change. You were happy to hear his voice—enjoying your nostalgic back and forth, but now your entire body feels icky and tears are welling up in your eyes.

“Well something isn’t right, because I keep giving my all to people and they keep sucking the life out of me and leaving.”

Silence.

“Can I come over?” He says. You don’t know whether to be surprised or not. You know him—he probably felt a rush of guilt from your subtle, but sharp words. Guilt is what you believe kept the two of you together as long as you were. You really don’t know the truth, because all he said when he broke up with you is the cop-out “I’m too overwhelmed” instead of saying what it really was.

“I mean—yeah, of course. But you don’t have to. You actually can hang up and pretend I never called if you want. This is weird anyways for you I’m sure.” You force a laugh to try and lighten the mood, and he mimics you.

“I owe it to you. I’ll be over in like thirty minutes.” Is all he says before hanging up.

The room suddenly feels both emptier and warmer after Yeonjun's promise to come over. You take a deep breath, a mix of relief and apprehension settling within you. The rhythmic ticking of the clock becomes more pronounced as you gather your thoughts, realizing the gravity of what you've just set in motion.

After what seems like an eternity, a soft knock interrupts the silence. You hesitate for a moment before getting up, your legs feeling like jelly. You open the door, and there he is, Yeonjun, with that familiar reassuring smile.

"Hey," he greets, his eyes reflecting genuine concern.

Ah, there it was. The paralyzation of your mind and mouth whenever your orbs greeted each other. It didn’t matter how long you prepared your words, everything always disappeared when he was in-front of you. What did you invite him over for again?

You manage a nervous laugh, realizing the irony of the situation. "I think I invited you over to... discuss life, or maybe just to remind myself what it feels like to have someone who understands." You slowly back away from the door, which allows him to step in. Flashbacks of him being nose to nose with you try to creep in, but you’re still fighting.

Yeonjun smirks, his eyes holding a playful glint. "Well, I'm here for both, and anything else you need. Discussing life is kind of my specialty."

The room settles into a comfortable quietude, filled only with the soft hum of distant city sounds. Yeonjun's presence brings a warmth that transcends the physical space, as if the air is charged with the shared history between you two.

"Can I sit?" Yeonjun questions softly. He refuses to look at the couch, and you wonder if it’s because he can’t help but be reminded of every kiss, touch, and comfort the two of you have shared on its worn cushions.

You nod, giving him permission as you try to read the emotions flickering in his eyes. He chooses a spot on the floor instead, perhaps opting for a neutral space that doesn't carry the weight of history.

The silence stretches for a moment, both of you enveloped in your thoughts. You can't help but steal glances at him, the playfulness from earlier replaced by a quiet contemplation. The ghost of a smile tugs at his lips, hinting at the shared nostalgia.

“So.” You utter.

“So.” He repeats.

“I uh—you’re my first love.”

"I know," he replies softly, a mixture of understanding and a hint of regret in his voice.

"My first... everything," you remind yourself in the moment, the vulnerability in your words echoing the raw emotions that brought him to your apartment tonight.

Yeonjun shifts on the floor, adjusting to the weight of your confession. "I remember," he says, his tone gentle. "It's not something you easily forget."

A bittersweet smile plays on your lips as you recall the shared moments that shaped your past. "You left, though. You left me wondering what was wrong with me."

He looks down, his fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on the floor. "Y/N, I didn't leave because of you. It was me, my own issues. I didn't handle things the way I should have."

Your eyes meet his, searching for sincerity in the depths of his gaze. "But it felt like I wasn't enough. Just like now, with someone else. I keep wondering if there's something inherently wrong with me."

Yeonjun sighs, a heavy exhale that carries the weight of shared struggles. "Y/N, it's not you. You're not the problem. Sometimes people leave not because of who you are, but because of where they are in their own journey. It took me a while to understand that."

You take a deep breath, the truth settling in your chest. "I just wanted you to know... why I called you tonight. It's like history repeating itself, and I needed someone who understands."

Yeonjun's gaze softens, a silent invitation for you to share your story. The weight of unshed tears lingers in your eyes as you begin to unravel the painful narrative of your recent past.

"It's Yuta," you admit, the name carrying a bitter taste on your tongue. "He came into my life when I was convinced I was done with relationships. Said all the right things, made me believe there was something real between us."

Yeonjun listens, his expression a mix of empathy and concern. You trace invisible patterns on your palms, a feeble attempt to anchor yourself in the vulnerability of the moment.

"But the moment I started to like him, he turned distant, hot and cold," you continue, your voice cracking slightly. "It was like he played this game, and I didn't understand the rules. One day he was all in, and the next, he acted like we were strangers."

Yeonjun's jaw tightens, a subtle display of the protective instinct he still holds for you. "He doesn't deserve you," he says, his voice carrying an undercurrent of anger.

The pain in your chest intensifies as you delve deeper into the tangled web of emotions. "I thought I was over these insecurities, that I could move on. But it hurts, Yeonjun. It hurts to feel like I'm not enough, like no matter how hard I try, someone will always find a reason to leave."

Tears threaten to spill over, and you look away, hoping to hide the vulnerability etched across your face. The room feels suffocating, a reminder of the cycles of heartache you find yourself trapped in.

But the echoes of Yuta's actions linger, reopening old wounds and casting shadows on the love that once bloomed in this very room. The irony of finding solace in the person who was once the source of your joy is not lost on you, and the weight of it all presses heavily on your shoulders.

In a desperate attempt to redirect the overwhelming emotions, you turn to Yeonjun, your voice trembling. "Why did you leave, Yeonjun? Was it me? Am I too much, too clingy? Not pretty enough? I need to understand."

Your words spill out in a frantic torrent, the questions forming a chaotic symphony in your mind. The room seems to close in as you anxiously await his response, fingers twisting together in a silent plea for clarity.

Yeonjun's eyes flicker with guilt, a deep-rooted understanding of the pain he once caused you. "Y/N, it's not about you. It never was. I had my own issues, my own demons. I ran because I was scared, and I didn't know how to face them."

"But why?" you press, desperation lacing your voice. "I need to know. I can't keep replaying scenarios in my head, wondering what I did wrong."

He runs a hand through his hair, a gesture of frustration. "It's not about you being too much or not enough. You were everything. It's about me not being enough for myself."

Your heart pounds in your chest, the words sinking in but offering little solace. The uncertainty gnaws at your sanity, and you're on the verge of a breakdown without even realizing it. The fear of inadequacy, the fear of repeating the same cycle with Yeonjun that you did with Yuta—it's all too much to bear.

"I just wanted to be good enough for you," you admit, your voice barely above a whisper. "I wanted to be enough for someone, anyone."

The room hangs in a fragile balance, the unspoken emotions swirling between you and Yeonjun. The weight of your insecurities crashes against the fragile walls you've built, threatening to break you down completely. As you grapple with the echoes of your past and the uncertainty of the present, you find yourself caught in a storm of emotions, hoping that somewhere in this chaos, you can find the answers you so desperately seek.

Yeonjun's frustration simmers beneath the surface, a storm gathering in the calm of his expression. His eyes, once warm, now reflect the turmoil within. He takes a deep breath, his words measured but carrying an edge of exasperation.

"Y/N, I need you to understand," he begins, his tone low but intense. "You didn't make it easy for me to leave. In fact, you were the hardest person to walk away from. But being around you, it felt suffocating."

Your heart skips a beat, the words hitting you like a punch to the gut. "What do you mean?"

He runs his hands through his hair, a gesture of frustration. "You're perfect, Y/N. An angel. I'm not. I never was. Being with you highlighted everything I wasn't. It was like standing next to a light so bright, I couldn't help but cast a darker shadow."

His confession hangs in the air, the weight of his words sinking into the very core of your being. The truth, raw and unfiltered, leaves you speechless.

"And you," he continues, his eyes never leaving yours, "you attract darkness, not because there's something wrong with you, but because you're so full of light. Some people, like Yuta, and every guy before him, they weren't ready for that light. They wanted to take your good energy and use it to mask their own dark souls, leaving you with the shattered pieces."

Tears blur your vision as the truth unravels before you. The ache in your chest deepens, the realization settling in that the very qualities that make you extraordinary are the ones that others find intimidating, overwhelming.

Yeonjun's frustration morphs into a deep sense of regret, his eyes pleading for your understanding. "I wasn't ready for you, Y/N. I was too consumed by my own darkness. It's not about you being too much. It's about me not being enough for someone as pure and good as you."

There’s a silence that’s so sharp, it’s suffocating.

"Why don't you hate me?" he questions, his gaze searching yours. "After everything, after being the first one to abandon you, why don't you hate me like you seem to hate everyone else?"

In the dimly lit room, as the shadows dance across Yeonjun's features, you find yourself captivated by the familiar lines of his face. The subtle play of light highlights the contours, and you take a moment to appreciate the details that you've come to cherish.

His eyes, deep and expressive, hold a universe of emotions that have both comforted and challenged you. You remember the times they sparkled with laughter, the warmth that enveloped you in moments of shared joy. Now, in the quiet of the room, they reflect a mixture of concern and care, amplifying the intensity of your emotions.

You look at him, a myriad of emotions playing on your face. "I honestly don't know, Yeonjun. All I know is that you're the only one I can't get over. The one my mind always takes me back to. I love you, and I don't want to, but I do."

The weight of your admission hangs in the air, and you can feel the vulnerability of your heart laid bare. Yeonjun's eyes widen slightly, registering the depth of your words. His silence carries a mixture of surprise and understanding, and in that moment, you wonder if your hearts are resonating in the quiet space between you.

"Y/N, I never wanted to hurt you like this. Knowing that I'm the one you can't get over, despite everything, makes me feel a thousand times worse."

"Yeonjun," your voice trembles, "is there any part of you that still loves me?"

For a moment, Yeonjun hesitates, his eyes flickering away from yours as if avoiding the intensity of your gaze. The air seems to thicken, anticipation mourning. Finally, he meets your eyes again, his expression a mix of sadness and resolution.

"Y/N, I..." he pauses, choosing his words carefully, "I've loved you, and a part of me probably always will. But it's been a long time, and I've had to accept that you deserve more than I could give you. You deserve someone who won't hurt you, who can give you the love and stability you deserve."

Your doe-like, teary eyes lock onto his, seeking the truth that you've been denied for so long. You can sense the sincerity in his words, and even though the truth stings, there's a part of you that appreciates the honesty you've yearned for.

"Thank you for being honest with me, Yeonjun," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. It's a bittersweet acknowledgment, a painful acceptance of the reality you've been avoiding.

Yeonjun's inner monologue swirls with conflicting emotions as he observes you, the ache in his chest almost palpable. As he maintains his gaze on you, his internal struggle remains concealed behind a veil of remorse. While he acknowledges his shortcomings and the belief that he doesn't deserve you, there's a tumultuous storm of conflicting emotions within him.

I want to kiss her. The thought echoes in his mind like a persistent whisper, each word resonating with a desire that threatens to consume him. As he sees the pain in your eyes, the longing to comfort you intensifies. He imagines the taste of your lips, the warmth of your embrace—familiar sensations that once brought solace and joy.

To fall into her, to sob into her chest. The yearning is raw, a deep ache that transcends physical touch. He imagines the release of tears, the vulnerability of exposing his soul to you. The safety he once found in your embrace feels like a distant memory, and the realization of the chasm between them intensifies the pain.

I wish I could be toxic. The admission lingers in his thoughts, a confession he's never dared to voice. The allure of toxic patterns, the chaos that might temporarily numb the pain, has crossed his mind. But he refrains, acknowledging the destructive consequences it would bring to both of you.

I don't want to disappoint her ever again. The final realization echoes with a profound truth. The fear of letting you down, of causing more pain, holds him back from laying bare the entirety of his emotions. His commitment to your well-being, despite the internal chaos, remains unwavering.

You're too caught up in the sound of your heart breaking to notice the whirlwind in his mind.

Once again, the room falls silent. Neither of you knows what to do or say. Lost in your own thoughts, you both stare through each other, searching for a way through the emotional haze.

Breaking the silence, Yeonjun takes a step closer, his hand reaching out to tenderly caress your cheek. The warmth of his touch sends a shiver through your body, the sensation a paradoxical mixture of comfort and ache. "Goodnight," he murmurs, his eyes holding a depth of emotions he's yet to articulate. "I hope I helped, even a little."

As he turns to leave, the gravitational pull of his departure becomes palpable. The door seems both a physical and emotional barrier, and it's in this charged moment that you act on an impulse you can no longer suppress. Your hand reaches out, grasping his arm, pulling him back towards you.

His eyes widen with surprise, and before either of you can fully comprehend the situation, your lips meet in a kiss that holds the weight of shared history and unspoken desires. The kiss is a magnetic collision, a dance of emotions too long confined. Yeonjun responds immediately, the barriers crumbling as he embraces the intimacy of the moment.

In the heat of the moment, Yeonjun lifts you effortlessly, your legs wrapping around him as he carries you towards the bedroom. The physical and emotional boundaries blur as you lose yourselves in the shared journey, an exploration of a space where the weight of the past can be confronted and, perhaps, rewritten.

Behind the closed bedroom door, the air crackles with intensity as the kiss deepens, becoming a language of its own. Yeonjun's hands explore the familiar landscape of your body, each touch igniting a spark of desire that had long been dormant. The warmth of the room mirrors the heat between you, and as your bodies meld, the boundaries that once confined you seem to dissolve.

With a gentle urgency, Yeonjun lowers you onto the bed, the weight of his body pressing against yours. The layers of clothing become obstacles, and with a shared understanding, you begin to dismantle the barriers that separate you. The room becomes a haven for rediscovery, a sanctuary where past wounds are soothed by the tender exploration of each other's skin.

As you both lie together, catching your breath, the room feels charged with unspoken feelings. In the quiet aftermath, Yeonjun looks into your eyes, and in that moment, you sense a promise of healing and a new beginning. The heaviness of the past isn't gone, but it feels a bit lighter, as if the shared vulnerability and intimacy of the night have carried some of the weight away.

As the stillness settles over the room, a soft plea escapes your lips, breaking the quiet. "Stay, just for tonight," you murmur, your eyes reflecting a vulnerability that has long been concealed. "I want to feel loved, even if it's just for a little while."

Yeonjun, his gaze holding a mixture of understanding and remorse, sighs. The weight of the unspoken hangs in the air, but there's a tenderness in his eyes that speaks of shared pain. In that moment, he reaches out and brushes your braid from your face, his touch a gentle reassurance.

"I can stay," he says somberly, a promise laced with the acknowledgment of the complexities between you. "Just for tonight."

[twstfanblog]

*~Period Drama~* Sunday

A/N: SCREAMS. Ok, sorry. It's been a hard time getting this out and for no reason. I literally had it like 80% done this whole time and the last 20% got lost in the damn mail I guess. But now it's done and out for the masses to enjoy! A thank you to @bun-lapin for allowing me to use their lovely OC for this fic! Word Count: 7.5K (God Damn...) Warnings: Period Talk (Like most of this is just various period facts and it lowkey gets pretty horrifying near the end), She/They Pronouns OC Pairings: AzulxOC (Poly), JamilxOC (Poly), Paternal Crewel &OC, Alluded to Riddle/Floyd Now with a tag-list! @twistedcece, @deltrea, @krenenbaker Start, Part 2 (Octavinelle), Part 3 (Here). Part 4 (Savanaclaw), Part 4.5 (Diasomnia pt.1), Part 5 (Diasomnia pt.2)

"Sorry again for bleeding on your pants."

Yuu stood in their dorm’s entrance hallway, Azul at the door with his ruined slacks in hand and wearing a pair of sweats borrowed from Yuu.

Azul had spent the night after Crewel’s brief lecture. The fur-wearing teacher had given Yuu another pain relief potion before leaving, stating he was going to get something longer-lasting for them by tomorrow. Azul had elected to stay, acting as emotional support and bringing Yuu whatever they needed from elsewhere in the house.

"No issue, my pearl. The twins have ruined more than one outfit for me, a little blood isn't the end of the world." He mutters under his breath, looking at the sweatpants with a pinched expression. But he turns to smile at them, “I’m only sorry that I can’t stay with you longer. But, I’ve already missed one productive day at the lounge, and I fear what will happen if I miss another. Let alone leave Jade and Floyd to their own devices any longer…”

"So what do I owe you for the emotional turmoil then?" Yuu smiles lazily, eyes lidded as they watch Azul place a hand over his chest.

"Why I could never ask for anything in return. You're in such a delicate position, it'd be cruel to give you a payment plan now for all the distress you've caused me this past week…"

So, she was going to be ambushed with a 'payment plan' once her period was over. 

Smirking, they tilt their head, a finger poking into their cheek, "So, can I start making those payments before the interest gets too high?"

Azul sighs, pouting and shaking his head with his eyes closed, "Honestly. I try to be benevolent and you throw it back in my face. Such cruelty…" he opens an eye, a smile almost leaning into a smirk, "But payment in kisses is always accepted with you."

"Suave" Yuu leans closer, peppering kisses against Azul’s reddening cheeks before going for the kill on his lips. The two sets molded together, Yuu holding him by his jaw as her tongue slid into his mouth, tasting his moans as his hands shakingly reached toward her hips. Pulling away, they giggle at seeing Azul catch his balance on the wall, "Have fun at the lounge. Call me when you can squeeze in a break."

Still dizzy from the kiss, Azul nodded, free hand fumbling for the doorknob behind him, "W-will do. Please don't overdo it when no one is here. Love you." He barely escaped, losing his composer and stumbling away just as he closed the door behind him. Yuu was always physically affectionate, but she was downright merciless if he ever blushed in front of her.

Yuu sighs, deciding to finally check their phone in bed…maybe they’ll just grab more towels from the hallway closet. Laying on the couch closer to the kitchen would be the smarter idea. They huff, pulling out more towels and piling them in their arms. They really needed to find something to act comfortably enough like a pad or tampon, free bleeding was too messy in the long run.

Once the couch was prepped with towels, they laid down to rest under their cozy throw blanket until Crewel appeared to check on them. They clicked their phone on and almost choked at the number of notifications.  At least 300 texts, 47 missed calls, and various social media @'s in an effort to reach them. They had to fight back the tears, emotions swelling at the idea of just how cared for they were in this world. Once their nerves were settled, they went to ground zero.

Their group chat with the 'Firstie Squad' was where most of the texts were. Ace first stated that someone had assaulted them. From there chaos descended. Jack demanded to know if Ace was joking, because if so it wasn't funny in the slightest. Epel chimed in that there was no way anyone overpowered them and got away alive. Ace snapped at both of them what he saw, pointing out how odd they'd been behaving the week prior. Sebek finally chimed in, only typing to ask whether Ace was sure.

Once Ace rementioned the bloody vagina mess the whole chat might as well as caught on fire. Jack seemed to disappear, Epel followed quickly after dropping several swears and threats into the chat about the would-be aggressor. Sebek stuck around the longest, talking with Ace to get information and make a game plan. Ortho sent a single link on helping a loved one who had been assaulted. But, knowing the living droid, he had probably combed every camera at his disposal to try and catch whoever did such a crime.

Nearly an hour later Deuce had finally entered the chat, full caps stating that they were okay and then yelling at Ace. He scolded him for blabbing when Crewel just told them to keep quiet. From there new, familiar chaos took over, a normal back and forth whenever Ace and Deuce started fighting over text.

The other stray texts were from the housewardens, mainly asking why their respective firsties were acting so odd. A few more texts asking if they were okay, noting how angry they've been the past few days. Surprisingly, only two texts were from Jamil. One was a photo of a teary-eyed Grim being held like a baby by Kalim in the background, crumbs on his over-stuffed cheeks and Kalim flashing a peace sign. Mildly blurry in the corner of the photo was the side of Jamil’s face, a half-in-frame peace sign hiding his mouth. The simple message attached, ‘Grim is fed and being held. Love you’

Yuu smiles, sending him a quick message before replying to the other texts, making sure to send Ace several middle finger and a single heart emoji. She groans, seeing a few texts from Vil. But looking closer, she sees most of the missed calls were from Vil, maybe she should call him…

Listening through a few of the voicemails, Yuu notes how calm Vil sounded in the first recording. The blonde only asked how their day was and if they were still on for their movie night. The next few voicemails slowly increased in panic, the last one being a chaotic audio of Epel wailing in the background. Rook trying to either comfort or hold the country boy back while Vil yelled into the phone, “You better be dead when I find you, or so help me you’re going to be for making me worry like this!”

Yuu personally made sure to save that voicemail. It was rare to hear such emotion from Vil Shoenheit without having paid him an insane amount of money and hours of makeup and hair styling. Should Crowley try to withhold their allowance, they had a nice little nest egg to sell.

Soon, Yuu heard the front door swing open, the wood slamming against the wall and no doubt deepening the dent that was already there. Crewel really needed to announce himself at all times when he was annoyed. Yuu doesn’t rise from the couch, instead letting out a high-pitched yip to let him know where in the house they were. Hearing the click of the adult's shoes, Yuu waves over the side of the couch, “Sup, papa dog.”

“Hello, puppy.” Crewel leans over the back of the couch, his gloved hand petting her head and pressing a kiss to her hair, “How are you feeling?”

“Like bloody dirt.”

“Hmm.” Crewel drops a bag onto their stomach, the warmth and smell of it giving away that it was a take-out box of food, “Breakfast from your eels. You’ll need to eat it before you take this pain potion.”

Yuu smiles, pulling the food out and digging in. Mid chew, they raise an eyebrow, “Why’s this potion different? I normally take them without food all the time.” They watch Crewel pull out a flask, but instead of the normal green-colored syrup, it was a bright cyan. The bottle itself had a warning tag on the glass, “What the fuck is that?”

“This, puppy, is a medical-grade pain potion. While I am able to brew anything, it’d be illegal for me to brew something of this strength without proper licensing. So, I tasked Ms.Oster with making a few for you.”

The distrust Yuu had instantly faded, reaching out for the flask with a smile, “Oh, I love Ms.Oster.”

Crewel pulls the bottle from their reach, playfully sneering down at them, “Yeah, I know.”

Ingrid Oster was one of the science professors under Crewel’s direction in the school. She mainly taught practical magic and magical first aid. Even though Yuu had no reason to even know the woman as a first year, they had managed to meet and we’re now teacher/student ‘besties’, something that deeply annoyed Crewel. The number of times the bi-colored man had walked into the staff room only to see the two of them having a luncheon and gossiping about other students. Not to mention Ingrid only upped her teasing, telling Crewel that he wears the ‘dad look’ very well.

Crewel demanded they finish their food before letting them even touch the bottle. The teacher explained how a medical-grade pain potion had a  much stronger effect than the standard potion. It lasted for nearly a whole day instead of 4-6 hours, not to mention how it worked. Instead of simply numbing the nerves to give pain relief, a medical-grade pain potion targeted the muscle system, physically relieving tension and letting the fibers relax. As such, they were very rarely used outside of hospitals, but Crewel didn’t feel comfortable having Yuu drink possibly more than two potions a day.

Once Yuu was done eating, Crewel held up a finger, making sure he had their attention, “Don’t drink all of this like a normal potion. This is much stronger than that so I want you to sip. Understand? Sip.”

Yuu sighed, making a grabby hand motion until Crewel handed the flask over, noting how it still felt a bit warm through the glass under their fingers. Uncorking the bottle they make sure to sip the liquid as loudly as possible. Pulling it away and smiling at Crewel’s annoyed look, “Sip.”

“Enough of the sass or I won’t be sending you lunch.” Crewel collected the trash, throwing it away for them in the kitchen before walking back into the lounge, “Ortho hasn’t answered me yet about any of his findings. But, then again I think you actually managed to traumatize the poor boy. Until then, you’re sadly on house arrest, puppy. Invite who you wish, but you shouldn't roam campus how you like.”

“Fine…” Yuu slumped back onto the couch, pouting but feeling better as the potion started to take a mild effect. They do send a smile as Crewel ruffles their hair.

Crewel reminds them once more to not drink the whole bottle, Sip, giving their head another kiss before he left. As much as he’d want to stick around to make sure his favorite pup was taken care of, he was a very busy teacher and he had lesson plans to prepare for tomorrow.

The second Crewel had slammed their front door closed, they uncorked the flask again and drank the whole potion. They’d rather just deal with the full effect of the potion in one sitting instead of having to sip for hours on end or wake up from a surprise nap in pain. Crewel would understand if he came back and Yuu was in some type of medically induced coma.

Lunch rolled around, and along with it came three steady, loud knocks on the front door. Yuu blearily blinked their eyes open, yep, they passed out on the couch. Luckily they didn’t roll onto their phone, checking the time and messages before another three knocks rang out. As before, Yuu lets out a loud —bird-adjacent— call, their universal sign of approval. She giggles lightly, hearing Ace and Deuce return the call when they open the door, the sound of Riddle scolding them for making 'nonsense noises' without permission.

The Heartslabyul crew all walked into the lounge, each in casual clothing and a different level of uneasiness but smiling all the same. Cater was in the back, phone held nervously with both hands as he gave a wary eye at their prone form. Trey was calm as normal, holding a picnic basket in hand. Ace and Deuce were already in front of them, leaning down and annoying her mildly. Mainly Ace, the redhead poking at her stomach asking if she was still bleeding. Deuce hissed at him to stop, ‘What if you poke them so hard they bleed more?’

Riddle stood with an extra type of rigidity in his stance, the only give that he was uncomfortable. Even with his medical knowledge, he always found blood to be a deeply uncomfortable topic. But, he was willing to face his apprehension if it was for his younger classmate's benefit. Walking closer, Riddle clears his throat before speaking, “Apologies, Yuu. We’ve visited without a prior invite or call, but due to recent events I believe we can have a pass on that rule for now…”

Cater nods his head, but still refusing to get closer, “We were totes worried about you, sweetie. Plus the ADeuce duo over here wasn’t making things better by vague ranting in the dorm…”

The two freshmen glare over their shoulder’s at Cater. They had returned to the dorm yelling at each other the day prior, a common occurrence. What peaked the upperclassmen’s worry was the dubious context of their argument and their silence when Riddle demanded to know what had happened. 

Yuu smiles, blinky slowly, still half asleep from their nap, “Sorry. In fairness I wasn’t expecting it to happen, so I was really unprepared.” Cater actually had a more familiar reaction, something Yuu wasn’t aware that she missed. The mild fear from boys the second periods were mentioned, skirting around but still ready to help out because they knew they were in danger.

Trey chuckles, looking at Cater’s nervous self from the corner of his eye. Holding up the basket he taps it lightly, “We brought you some croissants, freshly baked this morning. I can even make you a sandwich with fixings of your choice.” He wouldn’t mention the hastily compiled ‘survival guide’ Jade had sent him last night. The main point being that favored food seemed to be the only thing to keep Yuu in a relatively calm state.

“I just woke up, don’t give me choices…” Yuu whined lightly, curling into the couch but still muttered out, “You know I like croissants savory or sweet, surprise me. And thanks for bringing me lunch.”

“No problem, Yuu. I heard from Crewel you were on house arrest. So to ease his workload we’ll be watching you for the day.” He starts to walk away, calling over his shoulder, “I’ll get to making you something to eat.”

“And I’ll help him! Bye, sweetie!” Cater hurried after Trey, seeing an opportunity to run and taking it.

Ace sighed, standing up straight, “Jeeze, you’re such trouble…You can’t even be bothered to sit up while you talk to us?”

“Don’t bully them, Ace! They’re in pain!” Deuce sputters, turning to Yuu with a worried, “Wait are you still in pain, should we have brought you a potion?”

Yuu waves him off lightly, slowly patting him on the face until the worried pout loosens, “Don’t worry. Crewel brought me breakfast and a pain potion. I’m as…chill as a…cold thing…Yeah…”

“You’re still half asleep is what you are…” Ace mutters quietly, rubbing the back of his head before he looks up. He looks back down, a smirk on his face, “But, since I’m such a good friend, I’ll help around since you’re too useless to do it right now.” Waving he starts to walk toward the stairs, “I’ll go clean your room.”

Deuce jumps up, growling under his breath before he follows Ace, “You’re not slick! I know you’re just gonna nap up there! Just because Yuu isn’t using their bed, doesn’t mean you get to laze around in it!” He had run out of the room after the fleeing redhead, only to rush back in. Kneeling down he gathers Yuu into his arms in a quick hug, “Glad you’re ok, Yuu.”

“Aw…Thanks, buddy.”

Deuce releases them, running back to the stairs and his yelling fading the farther he gets.

In the silence, Yuu drifted between half asleep and simply staring into the air. They probably shouldn’t have taken the whole potion, but they’d never admit to Crewel being right. Not after they deliberately disobeyed him. While studying their hand in the open air, they notice Riddle had stayed in the room, looking more and more conflicted, “...You ok?”

“...” Riddle shifted nervously, looking to the side before he walked closer. Crouching down, he whispered, almost in fear of anyone else hearing him, “Are you really bleeding from your…vagina?”

“...” She wasn’t going to laugh, she refused to laugh. Not when Riddle was looking at them so concerned. He didn’t deserve that. She didn’t know if her face stayed straight or betrayed just how hard she was trying to not laugh, but she reached out to pat Riddle on the head, “I am…but it’s fine. Other than cramps, this doesn’t actually hurt me. No need to be all worried…”

That seemed to be enough for Riddle, the 2nd year letting out a sigh of relief before he stood back to his full height, “In that case, would you allow me to interview you?”

“Interview?”

With a wave of his pen, a notebook appeared in his hands, “You are a biological alien to us, though we seem to forget that at times… Such functions don’t happen to the people of Twisted Wonderland, it’d be any researcher's dream to study it.” Coughing into his fist he calms himself, “But, I understand if you are uncomfortable with such a thing. I only thought it’d be good to get the facts documented should something similar happen again.”

Yuu chuckles, seeing how eager Riddle was. One thing Yuu knew about Riddle, was that he loved puzzles. Researching a new topic with little information was a blind puzzle to him and he dived into research like it was a water slide. Sure he was trying to curb his enthusiasm since they were affected by an ‘alien illness’, but he just couldn’t stop how excited he was.

“I don’t mind, Riddle.”

Riddle’s nervous energy instantly passes, smiling at them before he flips the notebook open. Sitting in front of their legs on the couch, he clicked his wand to uncap the pen, “Perfect! Now, what is happening in broad terms?”

“Pussy peeling.”

Riddle sighed so hard that Yuu was worried he’d fall over dead from lack of air, “Yuu...You know I dislike that word, I’m begging you.”

Yuu giggles, a leg moving to lightly push against Riddle’s back before calming down, “I’m sorry…My Vagina is peeling, liquifying the scraps and then forcing it out of my body.”

Riddle looked ill, but I kept writing, “That sounds horrific…”

“Oh, it is.”

“What function does this process serve?”

“Baby room reno.”

“...What?”

Yuu groaned, head falling back against the armrest, trying to figure out an easier way to explain. Snapping their fingers, they point toward Riddle, “My pussy is replacing the wallpaper.”

“In no way…does that help me.”

“Aaaaaokay. Imagine your hormones, like, spend the whole month decorating a nursery. But, turns out there’s no baby. So the hormones throw a fit and decided to redo the nursery for next month. Hence…” Yuu smiles, gesturing to their stomach, “Replacing the wallpaper.”

Riddle wrote down the long-winded analogy, making sure to circle ‘Wallpaper replacement’ with a question mark beside it, “And this is normal in your world?”

“Sadly. Girls get their first period sometimes at like… 8 years old or younger.”

“Why!? That just…What is the purpose of it? I assumed this was a feature from birth, not something you just…wake up to.”

“Oh, it’s a sign that your body can make babies. It’s a hormonal change that comes packaged with puberty.”

Riddle stops writing, “You said some girls get this at 8 years old?”

“Yeah…though it’s more common around like 12 or 13. My friend got her’s when she was like 9 and she said she freaked out so hard. Her mom hadn’t had the, like, talk with her yet. So she just bled everywhere and tried to hide it.” Yuu kept rambling, recounting the stories her old friend group had shared about their first period horror stories, missing Riddle’s own dawning horror.

Yuu normally talked fondly of their old world. Funny stories with friends, and pleasant memories with their grandparents (Yuu never claimed to be an orphan. Had stated that both her parents were alive as far as she knew. She never shared a happy memory about them though). But sometimes the things they said worried them. The violence, the discrimination, the constant fear some people had to live in. The fact the people in charge would rather let their workforces starve than simply give them the rightful money earned (That bit of knowledge had even made Azul uncomfortable for a time). And now he hears that girls were ready to carry and birth children biologically? Girls, children. He’s praying that it wasn’t okay for girls so young to be engaging in such…activities, but the fact their bodies went through such a change at that age horrified him.

And a selfish part whispered that he was glad Yuu had managed to escape such a place.

Riddle manages to shake himself free of his spiraling thoughts, catching the end of Yuu's rambles.

"-And then my friend Tracy got her's in the middle of a ballet recital and she, like, bled all over the stage. Apparently, one girl was staring the whole time and tripped because of it." Yuu laughs, the sound coming out mildly choked, “Lisa…Lisa has like 3 older sisters, okay? They all got their period on the same day, so their house was super tense. Then poor lil Lisa comes out of her room crying holding her bloody bedsheet and everyone starts crying.”

Riddle looks at Yuu in worry from the corner of his eye, writing down more questions to review with Jade, “All of them at once? Would that be considered rare?” Was a period something like an overblot? The symptoms seemed to match…

“Naw, it’s common pussy ping, happens to the best of us.”

“One, stop saying that word. Two, a common what?”

Yuu nodded their head in a sage manner, eyes already drifting around the room again, “Yeah, pussy ping. It’s when you, like, sync up with other vaginas.”

“...” Riddle turns to Yuu, eyes wide in horror, “Sync up? As in…if someone’s period has started…”

“Yep.” Yuu smiles, making vague hand gestures, “If you spend enough time with another vagina, they send wifi signals to each other and sync up the calendars so that their hosts start on the same day.”

“I-Their hosts?” So a period was like an overblot. An extremely dangerous one at that if they were able to induce overblots in others simply by being around them long enough. The very thought of his own overblot resulting in the others…

“Oh yeah. The pussy is a dangerous thing. It’s acidic and can influence other vaginas to rebel.” “Wait, it’s acidic!?”

“Oh, yeah.” Yuu stretched, back popping as they sat up to look at Riddle directly, “I guess some stuff doesn’t carry over then. Yeah, my pussy is mildly acidic.”

Riddle looks down to Yuu’s covered lap, eyes panicked, “Is that healthy?” “Yeah. If your pussy juice can bleach your underwear over time, your pussy bacteria is healthy.”

Acidic was healthy. Riddle cared about Yuu, he truly did. She was like a sibling his younger self would have desperately needed to be a reason to think of how his actions affect those around him and to physically slap him for going too far. But every time he spoke to them about their natural state, he just felt intense concern. Things Yuu would joke about only made him realize that depression wore many faces, and that fact only made his worry expand to others in his dorm. Clearing his throat, Riddle edged just slightly away from Yuu’s lower anatomy, “Do you need to clean it out with soap or-”

Yuu was leaned against the back of the couch in a daze, cheek pressed into the fabric before shooting up and cutting Riddle off, “No. Nothing but clean water can go into the pussy. If you put any kinda cleaner up there it will anger the blood goddess and she will curse you and your pussy with dryness and wheat…yeast infections.”

“I- The blood goddess? You said your world didn’t have magic, who is this blood goddess!?”

“The Moon.”

…

“The…The Moon?”

“The moon controls the blood tides and demands her daughters pay for the sins of old…”

Riddle wrote down the new information, eyes wide, “Ok, let’s change the subject.”

Yuu nods, head lulling back to rest against the couch, “Periods are like…insane. Girls only like talking about them because it makes everyone else terrified.”

“I can see why…But with this affecting possibly 50% of the population, you must have had a class about it? Do you remember anything you could tell me?”

“No.”

“...No?”

“I don’t remember.”

Riddle sighs, looking at Yuu with a stern frown, “Yuu this would be much easier if you would cooperate with me-”

“No, really I don’t remember. We had the ‘puberty talk’ when I was, like, in 5th grade. We don’t review that shit until we get to Sex-Ed and I didn’t have that class yet.”

“...That sounds incredibly negligent and poorly thought out.”

“You could also opt your kid out because you don’t want them learning about sex.”

“What-”

“Those were the kids who normally end up pregnant, funny enough.”

“Childhood pregnancy isn’t funny, Yuu.”

Yuu giggled, nudging at Riddle’s back with her knee, only stopping when the 2nd year forcibly shoved her knee away from him, “It’s kinda funny. At least to laugh at the parent's stupidity, you know?”

“You’re laughing at a child getting pregnant…” Please don’t let that be a common occurrence in Yuu's world, “But, You are sexually active, aren’t you? How is that so if you’ve never had Sex-Ed?”

“The fuck kind of question is that? You’re the ghost of a sickly Victorian child who never lived to take The Dangers of Spices 101, how are you fucking Floyd?”

“It’s mandatory of Twisted Wonderland home school curriculum to teach a basic Sex-Ed course at the middle school level and you don’t need to know the details of my personal life.”

“Oh god, you had Sex-Ed with your mom.”

“Yuu-”

She waves his tone off, not at all bothered by his reddening face, “I learned from my friends. Honestly, I didn’t even know how a tampon worked until we had to make a midnight run at a sleepover one night.”

“Tampons…” Riddle writes it down, ensuring the page had plenty of space, “That’s a new term. What is it?” Jade’s notes hadn’t mentioned a ‘tampon’.

“Cotton you shove up your pussy to soak up the blood. Most of my friends used those but me and another gal named Rue liked pads better.”

Riddle nods, writing down the second word. He had heard of pads from Jade’s shared notes, and also from being manhandled by Sam’s shadows in his search for information. “I'm guessing a pad is also like a tampon, but less…invasive?”

“Yeah.” Yuu yawns, seeming to realize just how full of cotton her head was even when awake, “Though that’s mainly because I heard about what the fuck Toxic Shock was and it scared me enough to not want to use them.”

“I’m sorry, Toxic Shock? You couldn’t lead with that!?”

“Oh, right. This is like common knowledge for me so I don’t really care about it. But, Toxic Shock Syndrome is like…something that could happen if you use tampons. But it’s like super rare, to the point if you got it from a tampon? You left that thing in there for days and you deserve it because that’s just gross.”

Ok, that…that was calming at least. He wrote the new information under the Tampon page. As far as he was concerned Yuu had made a good decision, ‘Tampons’ sounded nothing but dangerous. Though Yuu had stated most of their friends preferred to use them. Maybe there was a proper method to using them that Yuu didn’t care to learn (Which honestly fit them). He reviews his notes briefly, frowning at how most of the information was concerning, “Your reproductive health is surprisingly delicate.”

“Oh, you have no idea. I could have cancer honestly.”

“What!?”

“The female anatomy is a hellscape. I could be dying right now but the cramps basically overshadow everything.” Yuu laughs, picking at her nails absent-mindedly, “There’s plenty of people who’ve, like, died from actual internal damage but they just thought it was their periods- W-whoa, Riddle are you crying?”

“No, I’m panicking!”  Riddle scrambled off the couch, lifting the blanket to check Yuu directly. Or he would have if the sight of blood smeared across their inner thighs didn’t make his head swirl. The blanket drops from his hands, turning away and managing to catch himself onto his hands and knees as he dry heaved, “By the Seven, is there supposed to be that much blood!?”

“...” Yuu watches him in mild concern. But seeing how the 2nd year didn’t actually start vomiting they answered, “I think so? I might be flowing heavy since I haven’t had one in a while…”

Riddle wiped at his forehead, taking slow breaths as he stood back up, eyes roaming the floor for his dropped pen and notebook, “Heavy flow? As in the flow can change pressure? Consistency?”

“Yeah, those are words to describe it, I guess.” Yuu shrugs, head turning in the direction of the kitchen. Were Trey and Cater making the jam from scratch? What was taking the two of them so long? Looking back at Riddle, Yuu shrugs again, “To be honest I have… no idea what normal is. Honestly, no one in my world really did.” “How?”

“Dude, people were fucking terrified of periods. Before I got here? They were just now actually, like, testing pads and tampons with shit that wasn't water. Aka, not the right cunt-sistency of periods.”

Riddle gripped at his chest. The lack of common sense was baffling. These were the people in charge of that world, half the population was suffering from this illness and they couldn’t even test their sanitation products correctly, “Oh my Seven…”

“Some places were trying to ban talking about them in school, so fuck what shitty health class we had in the first place. Plus, periods can get weird, you know. Sometimes, you can like…bleed from other places.”

“What.”

“Yeah, like, from your butt or your eyes,” Yuu’s head rolls along the back of the couch, laughing as a memory resurfaces, “My friend, Chel, told us her cousin’s all came out in one piece once.”

Riddle dry heaved, stumbling back and coughing as the mental image started to form, “Trey…” He called out weakly. He was going to pass out, or vomit. Either one was wildly unwelcome at that moment.

“Apparently, it was like wet tissue just slid out of her.”

Another gag, Riddle fully turning away. The horror clear on his face unable to stop his mind.

“Yeah, her cousin sent a picture too. It looked like a bloody piece of chewed-up gum-”

“TREY!” Riddle doubled over, just barely getting his yell out, coughing as he fought against his urge to vomit. Hearing the sounds of footsteps thundering down the hall, he felt relief flood him. He couldn’t handle another minute of this, he was never good with blood. Blood was always the sign of something being deeply wrong, blood outside the body besides the need for a transfusion was never healthy. Now one of his friends was basically hemorrhaging and he had to deal with the fact it was “healthy”.

Cater and Trey rush into the room, Trey dressed in Yuu’s black ‘Shut Up and Eat’ apron with a plate of croissants gripped in his hands, “What!? Who’s dying!?”

Phone pointed in front of him, Cater films a video. If Yuu managed to kill all of them, someone would be able to find the video and know what happened to them, “Is Yuu still bleeding?”

At Riddle’s loud retch, Trey handed the plate of food to Cater. The 3rd year quickly walked over to Riddle, rubbing at his back and trying to guide him out of the lounge, “Okay, let’s get you outside. Some fresh air will help. Cater, keep Yuu company.”

Cater watches mildly stunned, Trey walking past him with his hands firmly on Riddle’s shoulders. With a plate of toasted croissant sandwiches in one hand and his still recording phone in the other Cater looked at Yuu on the couch. Their head was leaned back against the armrest, watching him with what he could only describe as a predator’s stare. Putting his phone in his pocket, Cater grabs one of the sandwiches and slowly approaches Yuu, arm outstretched as he wiggled it, “Pspspspspspspssps.”

“I can not begin to tell you what I will do to you if you don’t stop that shit right now.” The threat was empty and they both knew it. Yuu struggled to not laugh as Cater finally walked over to them normally, gently placing the plate in their waiting hands, “How fucking dare you���? I’m laying here in pain and ruining the nice towels Kalim gifted me and you’re treating me like a cat.”

“A feral cat.” Cater had eased, if only a little bit. He still wasn’t standing at an angle to let Yuu get a quick hit in, but his shoulders had finally relaxed. It helped that he knew Yuu had food now, Trey was just as confused as he was when Jade kept sending texts reflecting the importance of giving Yuu food lest they attack them in a mood swing. And now with said feral cat feeding on the still-warm sandwiches, Cater could feel a bit safer, “You’re totes a cute cat, but still feral. #Hot-Mess, #Hit-By-A-Bus, #Don’t-Bite-Me-Pwease.”

Yuu frowned, though a smile was clearly winning the fight over their expression, “Shut up…” Taking a big bite, the buttery sweet sandwich filled them with a sense of comfort. Trey’s cooking always had an odd effect Yuu found. No matter what he made it would make others feel content and full. They and the ADeuce duo would joke that Trey was using his Unique Magic to make his food replace negative emotions somehow. 

Trey hadn’t answered their joke, only smiling at them and offering another pie for their hangout.

Now with a plate of warm food, Yuu was more content, almost melting into the couch and snoozing into the armrest as she hummed. In their hazy mind, Yuu could hear Cater’s chuckle. The redhead sat carefully on the armrest above their head.

“Aw, my poor rag-a-muffin froshie is having such a hard time. It really makes me wanna be a good senpai and look after you.” He sighed dramatically, tapping at his cheek as he playfully pouted, “Is this how Trey feels looking at Ace and Deuce?”

“Only if you feel a deep sense of disappointment and contempt for everything I do.”

Ace and Deuce had just entered the room, Both of them with messy hair and disheveled clothing, clearly having gotten into a scuffle before coming back downstairs. The redhead first-year scowls, clicking his tongue, “Shut up. I’ve never done a single thing wrong in my life.”

Cater snorts, trying to hide just how hard he was fighting back his laughter.

Yuu raised an eyebrow, “Did you get fucking concussed up there? You’ve done nothing right since the day you were born, and you know it.”

“Shut up, you’re lucky you’re injured! Plus, where’s Riddle and Trey?”

Deuce looked around, walking closer to Yuu to once again give them a check, “We heard Rosehearts-Senpai yelling upstairs…”

“And you just now decided to show up?” Yuu tries to shove the whole of a croissant into her mouth, seeming to not realize the issue of it not being able to fit.

Ace scoffs from the doorway, “Like we’re coming down here if he was actually mad.” He watches Yuu with a raised brow. She was just…holding the sandwich now, as though she was trying to figure out how to properly eat it.

Deuce watches in silence too, only to gently grab the sandwich from Yuu, tearing it in half before giving it back, “Yuu did you…eat anything else before we got here?”

“Yeah, papa dog brought me food…” Yuu stared at the new, smaller sandwich in hand. Half shoving it into their mouth they continued, their voice muffled, “Why do you ask?”

“...Did you have one of those gummies Sam legally doesn’t sell you?”

“Are you high!?” Cater perked up, leaning over and tilting Yuu’s head back to look into their eyes. He lets out a laugh, noticing how heavily their pupils were dilated. Well, that would also explain why Yuu seemed so calm. Cater did the same when he had lingering body aches from tending the garden. If a pain potion wasn’t available, a nice ‘chill pill’ was plenty to ease the mind and body, “Let me have one.”

Yuu huffs, nearly choking on their massive bite, “I didn’t take a gummy. I took some medicine Crewel gave me.”

Deuce leaned closer, also checking their pupils before muttering under his breath, “Was it a tranquilizer dart?”

“Naw, it was a pain potion…Like a fancy one, with a tag on it.”

…

Ace looked around the floor near the couch, eyes catching the empty bottle half hidden under the skirt of the seating. Pulling it out, he read the tag and shouted in surprise, “Dude, this like a ‘The pain is so bad I’m dying’ pain potion! Is it really that bad!?”

Deuce grabs the bottle from Ace, reading it over before handing it to Cater, “Yuu! Do you want us to take you to the hospital!? Wait, no, you don’t want to-”

“How is this empty already?”

“Huh!?” Yuu clicks back into the conversation, looking up at Cater’s concerned glance, “What do you mean how? I drunk it.”

“Sweetie, these potions are like…You can take them orally, but they’re strong enough they normally are supposed to be given via drip for a safe, lasting effect…So why is it empty already?”

“...” Yuu started to cackle, the plate of sandwiches being saved from the floor as Deuce dived to catch it as they jostled off her lap, “I fucking chugged morphine!”

“You chugged this!?”

Ace slapped his forehead, “By the Seven, you’re fucking hopeless. This period thing makes you bleed out the brain, too? You’re gonna lose what little brain cells you had to begin with.”

Yuu still chuckled, hand reaching back to bat at Cater’s fingers combing through their hair, “Fuck you, Ace. Even if I got a brain bleed, I’d still have more brain cells than you.”

“Doubtful. You’re so useless right now, you couldn’t fight your way out of a paper bag.”

Yuu’s laughter instantly stopped, smiling falling into a neutral line as their gaze snapped to Ace. The redhead’s eyes widen, fear suddenly gripping his chest at Yuu’s stare, “...Uh…”

Riddle's breathing had calmed, but now he was sitting on the steps of Ramshackle, head in his hands as he felt a headache crowning. Lifting his head he stared at his palms, as though they held the answers to his questions, “This is bad, Trey. I don’t have any other way to describe it, this is bad.”

“Riddle, calm down. We can trust Yuu to handle themselves-”

“Except, we can’t! Yuu doesn’t even have all the facts and what facts they do have may not even be right since it’s all second-hand knowledge from other uninformed minors! Not to mention they haven’t even had a proper class on the subject…By the Seven, would it even be informative? They would have dealt with this for years at that point, They probably just went on the internet and read some uncertified drivel, lord knows they won’t open a book-”

“Riddle. Breathe.” Trey grasps Riddle by one of his shoulders, shaking him lightly and thumping the 2nd year on the chest with his other hand. Something to make Riddle take more than a shallow breath in his rambles, “Like you said, Yuu’s been dealing with this for years. They know what they need and we can help by giving them access to whatever it may be.”

Now that he was taking deep gulps of air, Riddle’s anxious energy had finally died down, his stomach finally resting. He turned to Trey, worry clear in his expression, “But it’s concerning. It’s so simple, yet the difference is so obviously alien I can’t help but want to…fix it. But it’s not my place to fix it, because there’s nothing to fix and this is completely natural for them…”

“...That’s right…Riddle did something other than…the blood upset you?”

“...” He sighs, “Yuu says they have no idea about their overall reproductive health. Since they refuse to see a real medical professional and Idia isn’t going to give Ortho the permission to do intrusive body scans, we have no way of checking. They could have cancer and we’d have no way of knowing until they got sick or they died! They said this ‘period’ isn’t always a standard thing either! They could bleed out of their eyes one day and we won’t know if they were actually about to expire or if they were simply on their ‘period’!”

“...” Trey sighs, rubbing the back of his neck at the new information, “Ok, yeah, that…that is very worrying…But,” Trey turns to Riddle with a smile, trying to find the bright side, “Yuu knows their body. If something was really wrong, you know they’d at least tell Crewel about it. And…” He trails off, letting Riddle’s mind come to the conclusion itself.

“...” Yuu’s relationship with Crewel was, to most other students, blindingly trusting. The prefect would tell the teacher anything and everything if they truly felt concerned about the information. Yuu continued to trust Crewel so much since he responded to such faith with the same intensity and care. “And Crewel would physically drag them to a hospital if he truly felt their life was in danger…” He took one last deep breath, nodding at the ‘fact’.

Trey watches with a smile as Riddle gathers himself up. What was once a too-small teen curled in on himself in anxiety and physical illness stood his good friend Riddle Rosehearts, a calm and collected figure of authority.

“Ok, I feel much better now, thank you, Trey.” Riddle looks to the door, “I should finish interviewing Yuu. There was so much information Jade wasn’t able to collect regarding the physical aspect of this…”

Trey hums, opening the door for them as they walk back inside, “He did say Yuu was very hormonal during their visit. Eels noses are really sensitive so he might have been distracted in his own interview by that and the smell of blood.”

“Possibly-”

The sound of Ace yelling and a loud crash coming from the lounge sends them both sprinting. Riddle reached the archway first, nearly being rammed into the side by Trey sliding to a stop beside him, “What’s happening?” “Is anyone hurt!?” Cater chuckles from the back of the couch, phone poised in his hands to film the fight between Ace and Yuu on the ground, “Poor Ace is gonna be.”

Ace and Yuu were spread out on the ground, Yuu quickly making progress to reach at Ace’s face to slap and tug on his cheeks, “Say uncle!” He kept pushing at Yuu’s hands, face pulled into a scowl as a stray drop of blood eased down from his nose, “You bitch! You punched me!”

“You’re the one saying I couldn’t fight my way out of a paper bag! Are you weaker than a paper bag, Ace!?”

“Senpais!” Ace flips onto his stomach, reaching out to Riddle while his other arm braced against Yuu’s chest to keep them away from his face, “Help me! Cater and Yuu are bullying me and Deuce isn’t being useful!”

Deuce calls out from the other side of the fight, holding his thumb up, “I’m helping, Yuu! The hair, prefect! Pull him by the hair and slam his face into the carpet!”

“Senpai! Help!”

“...” Riddle turned away, holding his hand over his mouth, “Don’t bleed on Yuu’s rug…”

“ME!?”

Yuu cackles, finally managing to tangle their fingers into Ace’s wild hair, “Yeah, Ace! Don’t bleed on my rug!”

[lindwurmkai]

hey, have you heard that pillowfort has ✨ drafts ✨ now? (as in, the ability to save your posts as drafts.) they're still working on the queue feature (update: it's done!), but drafts are a big step forward!

in case you missed it so far, pillowfort is like a cross between tumblr and dreamwidth/livejournal, with a simplified dashboard reminiscent of old school tumblr and some classic livejournal features such as communities, threaded comments, and the ability to make individual posts followers-only or mutuals-only.

what are communities? basically, central hubs for posts about any subject you want that, unlike hashtags, can be moderated. they may have rules, such as "[subject matter] must be tagged" for example. you can post directly to a community or reblog existing posts to it!

since the site is currently experiencing some financial trouble, i thought i'd help out by spreading the word once again.

edit: the fundraiser was a success! crisis averted! i knew we could do it :D

why you should give pillowfort a chance:

no ads

no venture capitalist funding

no spying on the users

completely free to use except for optional premium features

nsfw is allowed except for sexual depictions of minors. if you're unsure what exactly that means, their tos may help

communities and the privacy controls mentioned above are excellent features

great community, low drama compared to other websites (so far)

the site's features themselves encourage genuine connection and good-faith conversation over endless "discourse"

every blog can automatically be filtered by original posts only or reblogs only

reasons not to join:

if you enjoy algorithmic social media. there is no algorithm at all

if you want to post or look at machine-generated art. they're still finalising the wording and personally i hope some exception will be made for models trained on ethically sourced images, but basically an anti-AI rule is in the works (update: finished!)

if you cannot live without reblog additions (reblogging with comment). all discussions on a pillowfort post take place in the comments section, and only your own followers see your tags. this has its pros and cons for sure! a similar feature to scratch that itch may be implemented in the future, but it will never be exactly like on tumblr.

if you need everything to be an app. the website works fine in a mobile browser and a progressive web app will hopefully be released soon (basically it's like an app in your browser and on mobile these can be added to the homescreen like real apps i think? they have push notifications!), but there's not going to be a native app available through official app stores due to the restrictions of those stores.

other factors to consider:

yes, the userbase is still small. depending on your interests, activity may be very slow. but we can change that! and on the plus side, reblogging your post to a community is a good way to easily get more eyes on it; way more effective than simply adding tags imo

the site culture is a bit different than on tumblr. many people read everything that's been posted since the last time they were online and don't follow more users/communities than they can keep up with. it's still somewhat lacking in shitposts and heavy on "essays" but don't be afraid to post whatever 😅

there are no blog themes like we have them on tumblr as yet, but you can customise your blog's colours and use html/insert links and images in your blog description

likes literally do nothing except to let OP know you enjoyed their post. you can't look at a list of all your likes. beware!

the staff is small and development is slow. some highly anticipated planned features other than the aforementioned queue include: - multi-account management - dashboard filters/reading lists - post bookmarking (since likes don't work that way) but we don't know how soon any of those will be implemented.

there is a user-developed browser extension (well, a userscript) called tassel available that adds additional features much like tumblr's beloved xkit :)

✨ okay, so how do i sign up? ✨

if you're interested but confused by the sign-up process or still under the impression that you need to pay to sign up (false), i'll put some clarifications and invite codes under the read more below. plus a note on donating, premium features, the paypal issue etc.

in a nutshell:

it's free

signing up without an invite code is possible, but you may have to wait a short while - supposedly less than an hour atm. just submit your email to the waitlist

if you don't feel like waiting, you can either use an invite code from an existing user or pay $5 to sign up instantly

every user gets plenty of invite codes and we're all willing to hand them out at the drop of a hat. they're really not hard to come by

some invites to get you started (just click the link):

invite 1 ▪ invite 2 ▪ invite 3 ▪ invite 4 ▪ invite 5

invite 6 ▪ invite 7 ▪ invite 8 ▪ invite 9 ▪ invite 10

invite 11 ▪ invite 12 ▪ invite 13 ▪ invite 14 ▪ invite 15

invite 16 ▪ invite 17 ▪ invite 18 ▪ invite 19 ▪ invite 20

i'll try to periodically check if any have been used and cross those out.

...paypal issue?

ok so paypal doesn't like working with sites that allow nsfw. as a result, you need a credit card in order to donate to pillowfort, buy one of those insta-registration keys, or subscribe to premium features*. i personally happen to have a credit card and would be willing to help out anyone who trusts me enough to send the money to me via paypal, but i realise chances are only my friends will do this.

some users are currently organising various activities for the purpose of letting people who only have paypal contribute to the site's survival. it's not super relevant for new users and won't get you access to premium features, but i thought i'd mention it anyway in case someone loves the concept of the site so much they want to support it immediately. a fundraising community has been created to collect posts of that nature!

*premium features are strictly limited to two categories of things:

fun little extras that no one truly needs

higher image upload limits, because obviously big images take up bandwidth and are therefore a reason for increased costs

you will never need to pay for vital accessibility features or anything of the sort. :)

[morty-witch]

Vox x F!PopStar!Reader

A/N: Hello! This is my first ever fanfiction on tumblr and first ever fanfiction i wrote fully in english and i went kinda crazy with this prologue and went WAYYY over the signs limit. I will publish it in few parts and i'll link other parts to this one. Ily guys and i hope you enjoy it <3 This story will have few chapters, because i got a lot of ideas for it WARNINGS: Language, cursing, swearing, Valentino being Valentino, emotionally abusive boyfriend, mentions of cult, mentions of d3ath Y/N: YOUR NAME S/N: STAGE NAME

PROLOGUE 1 PROLOGUE PART 2 PROLOGUE PART 3

stop, you're losing me

PAST

Y/N and Vox got to know each other during their first days in hell. She was innocent, lovely doll in his eyes, even though she was in hell for a reason. She was practicing witchcraft, occultism, whatever you’d call it. That’s also how she died - she got killed by fanatics of different beliefs. Vox on the other hand was her prince charming. She adored every single thing about him and was fully commited to their relationship or whatever it was. He enjoyed how she played piano or guitar in their apartment while he was working, she was happily breaking the silence with her self-written songs practicing them to then sing it in some shabby restaurants. And everything was going well, Y/N thought she got someone to spend her hellish torment with, until everything went downhill and “forever” she wished for fell apart. ”Doll, i adore you, i really do, but what the fuck are you even thinking?” Vox asked, while looking at her notebook full of songs. “I know you like music and i never had anything against you having a little creative freedom and fun, but pursuing it as a career? Really?” he asked, visibly tired of this. For a second he thought he should never even allow her sing her little songs in those bars for little money, but that was making her happy and everytime she was coming home, he enjoyed seeing how energized and recharged she was. Little did he knew, that music was strongest medium of her power. ”I know what are you thinking, but music really will be worth the wait. I just need more…” she started, but then he just laughed annoyed. ”More what? Money? Time? What do you need this time?” asked, leaning his back on the countertop. Girl opened her lips to answer. They had this conversation way too many times, but every single time Y/N was enough of a good girl, she just apologized and they just came back to their everyday routine, but that time she was prepared to fight him, if she had too. ”Time. I need… More time. I got plan! I-I” She stuttered. YN got anxious just by seeing her lover in this state. As she was about to start explaining everything to her, as she took a deep breath, he snapped. “For fucks sake, Y/N, we are in fucking hell, nobody really cares about your cute little songs. Focus on making contracts and gaining power, not… this” his hands were moving violently and then he just took her notebook and burned it with one spark of electricity. That was it. She had enough. She looked at him with teary eyes and then just walked out, leaving her phone in their apartment, so he wouldn’t know where to find her. He called and cursed her name, said she was overreacting, but she was in amok, she heard nothing excepr for blood running through her vains and her heart pounding heavily like it was about to jump out of her chest. That was last time they spoke.

PRESENT

“Get ready you fuckers we have to be on the stadium in like 30 minutes” Velvette yelled, waiting for other Vee’s to get out of their rooms ready. She got them concert tickets for one of the biggest tours all around the Hell. This artist has been trending for years already and this is her first tour after longer break and it was all around social media. It was indeed a big event, so Velvette had to be there, as she is hells biggest trendsetter and influencer if she wouldn’t be there, what kind of influencer would she be? ”You can as well go without us if you are in such a hurry” Said Vox, walking out of his bedroom wearing white turtleneck and a blazer. Velvette rolled her eyes up annoyed with him and focused on her phone once again. “Please, tell me again why you want me and Val out of all people to go with you?” sighed “isn’t your bodyguard enough of a big strong man to make you feel safe? Not to mention you would do just fine on your own” he said, then looked at Valentino walking out of his room. ”I did not want to go alone, there will be a lot a lot of sinners, good way to earn contacts and meet someone useful. And Val wanted to do some scouting, because apparently he needs some fresh meat or whatever” she said, then decided to add “Also i thought about offering her a collaboration, because we need to grow in different directions and to be honest she has most influence in the entertainment field” Velvette explained and when Vox tried to speak, she hushed him “Yes, even more influence than you. She is everywhere”. ”Weird i never heard of her” he said with his typical annoying smirk, but Velvette just brushed it off. ”You are just not a man of culture, Voxxy, she has been in the industry for years” Valentino took a puff of gis cig. ”and i can barely hear you listening anything except for old Alastor broadcasts” Velvette joked and moth chuckled this comment, while Vox got angry and started explaining to them that he is just getting to know his enemy. So basically he’s only way to justify it was saying he’s preparing himself to next diss battle.

They all got to the place in silence. Well… Kind of. Valentino bitching about Angel Dust moving out (as always) broke the silence, but other than that, nobody else spoke anything except “mhm”, “really?”, “woah” without even paying attention to whatever moth said. Velvette had a backstage pass, she got it from manager of the tonights star. ”Vees! You are just in time, guys. (S/N) is about to enter stage in few minutes” welcomed them the mentioned manager. Eddie was a powerful hellborn - no matter how ridiculously it sounds, she indeed had a lot of contacts and connections in all of the hell. She may not be strong, but her greatest power is who she knows and one word from her was enough to make a specific demon or even an overlord vanish. “Velvette, darling, you are looking absolutely stunning, (Y/N) would absolutely love working with you” woman said, walking through the backstage with Vees. Vox felt a knot in his stomach when he heard this name. He have not heard it in years. He tried to look for her first years, but he couldn’t find her anywhere, especially without the phone, so he gave up looking for her. ”(Y-Y/N)? Who is this?” He asked, trying to clear his mind. Maybe its not my (Y/N) he thought. ”It’s her concert, you dumbass. But she uses (S/N) because it’s more catchy and looks better on album covers. More aesthetic or some shit” Velvette explained, turning back to Eddie and talking about business, while Valentino was looking around, eyeing some young, pretty hellborns and sinners working there. ”What are those pretty things~” he purred and smiled mischiviously. Vox rolled his eyes, but stayed quiet. It probably is someone else, it’s not like she was the only person in hell with this name, right? he asked himself in thoughts

“Alright, my dear, here you go, wear those bracelet, it will keep your energy and power safe and you may take your sits” Eddie handed them all a silver bracelet. Vox just looked at the thing in confusion. Keeping energy safe? Why in the sweet Satan ass would he need to do that? He wore it anyway, but still… Was a little confused. Velvette thanked Eddie and they just exchanged quick “see ya” and overlords left, going straight to their sits. Velvette got the ones quite in the front, since she wanted to see everything. Y/N was known for being quite the performer and everyone in hell was saying her concerts are the experience of a lifetime. PROLOGUE PART 2

PROLOGUE PART 3

[theemperorweek]

The Emperor Week 2024

The Emperor Week, a week-long event celebrating out favourite mind flayer from Baldur's Gate 3, will be held on March 11th-17th 2024 here on Tumblr, on Twitter, and on AO3!

FAQ:

How can I participate in this event? Create a fanwork centered around the Emperor and publish it during the event (March 11-17th 2024). If you post your work on AO3, submit it to this collection. If you're posting it on Tumblr or Twitter, please @ me (@TheEmperorWeek) so I can reblog/retweet it!

What kinds of works do you accept? Whatever you can think of! Fanfiction, fanart, podfic, meta, fan videos, cosplay photos, fiber crafts, anything you want, as long as it features our favourite illithid.

How many works can I submit? As many (or as few) as you like! The event runs for seven days to give everyone who wants to participate enough time to post their works, but it doesn't mean you have to make something for every single day (but you can if you want to!)

Is NSFW stuff allowed? Of course! Just make sure to tag it appropriately when posting on AO3, and follow the guidelines of the social media website you're posting your work on.

What about works featuring dark themes (e.g. graphic violence, non-con, etc.)? Sure! As a rule of thumb, if it's allowed on AO3, it's allowed here. Again, be sure to use the correct warnings and tags.

Do you accept works in languages other than English? Yes!

If, for any reason, I can't finish my work before the end of the event, can I submit it later? Sure! After the event concludes, I'll keep the AO3 collection open for a couple more weeks.

Is there going to be a list of prompts/themes for this event? Nope! This is a bit of a test run, so I decided not to have a prompt list this time, as to not overcomplicate things and give everyone total freedom in what they choose to create.

I could really use some prompts though? I need inspiration! You can check out the AO3 Tag Cloud! Also, @kelpie-bael came up with their own list of Emperor x Tav prompts, which you can find here!

I don't think I'll be able to create anything for the event. How can I still participate? By engaging with fanworks created by others! Leave kudos and comments on works in the AO3 collection, comment on and share works posted on social media, rec your favourite works to fellow fans who might also enjoy them. Before the event, if you're a writer on AO3, consider adding a Permission Statement to your profile, to let others know if they can make transformative works inspired by your fic (art, podfics, translations, fanfic of fanfic, etc.)

I have more questions! You can DM me on Tumblr (theemperorweek) or Twitter (@TheEmperorWeek), or send an email to theemperorweek@gmail.com!

[elderscrollsconceptart]

Its not just about you.

I WISH it was. Because whooo boy have I had some nasty fights with people on the internet back in the day. Let me tell you, to my sincere shame I genuinely enjoyed them at the time.

I stopped doing that when I realized (thanks to Elon Musk adding Twitter impressions hahaha) that the amount of people who read and never interact with what you write online is INSANE. Why embarrass yourself when tens of thousands of people are seeing what you're saying? The only reason I'm engaging with you is because A. This is a debate worth having and B. I'm doing this in a respectful manner and to your credit you've not resorted to name calling so presumably you're engaging with restraint of your own feelings as well.

A pathetic slapfight I had back when I was still on Twitter has almost 40k Impressions.

FORTY THOUSAND. That was fucking EMBARRASSING. It made me realize how a *real* person is reading whatever you are writing on social media.

I talked about AI and I'm engaging in this conversation with you *because* this is a conversation worth having. I'm talking to you because you inserted yourself with a directed criticism but I assume that was your way of saying you disagree with my stance on AI. Disagreement is fair and we are both allowed to air our feelings on the matter.

People need and deserve to hear what people on opposite spectrums of an issue are saying. I'm doing my best to be genuine and fair with you because I know you are a real person and this issue is worth talking about.

[cyaerandom]

FAQ

Do not interact with this account if you're a minor.

I highly recommend not following me at @cyaerandom, because it's a personal account. If you like what I draw, please consider my art blog instead. I will reblog any scribbles I post here.

ART BLOG @cerberusmahou I'm mainly into ATLA 🪃👣 + 🌾🌊‎ , but I draw whatever and this can change any day. Take this into consideration before following. Mute #riya reblog for art only and check the other stuff I'm into to curate your space. Alternatively, you can install XKit and turn on the feature Show Originals. Art only tag Scribbles tag (cw: suggestive content) Ask me anything, or give me ideas to draw! Unless specified otherwise, I don't take art requests. However, I'm always on the lookout for inspiration, happy to read about your headcanons and talk about our mutual interests. As a general rule expect me to reply by text, but if any prompt gets my brain gears turning, I may draw it.

🌈M/F ATLA. A discord group for LGBT+ adults who enjoy or create straight ships content and want to meet people similar to them!

All joining members must be 20+ years old. Mlm/wlw is obviously allowed and welcomed, but not our focal theme.

Can I use your art as icon and/or for rp? Sure, I'll be honored.

Can I repost your art? Send me a message first, please.

Can I tag headcanons in your art? Of course, I love reading them.

How did you add music to your blog? Wikplayer & CommonNinja.

Which program do you use to draw? Paint Tool SAI.

Which brush do you use for drawing? It's a custom, here's the settings. However, I recommend sketching on a hard brush and using this only for inking or doing a more refined sketch.

Any anatomy book you recommend? Figure drawing by Kan Muftic and Morpho collection by Michel Lauricella.

Could you share your art style inspiration? Here.

Any tips for dynamism? Besides checking on art tutorials (dynamism and gesture drawing), I'd say studying the principles of 2D animation, paying attention to real people's body language, and watching animation compilations from great artists like Richard Williams, Milt Halt, Hiroyuki Imaishi, Yutaka Nakamura, etc. I tend to tag animation gifs I go across and like, feel free to use it as reference library, if it's helpful for you.

Are you open to collabs? If I follow you or you're a writer whose fics I comment, I will most likely be interested. Message me and we can talk, no compromise for either of us.

Why am I blocked? Nothing personal. You probably talk about discourse non-stop, don't follow proper fandom etiquette or were caught up in a blockchain I used. I want to see specific content, so I curate my spaces. Please, message me if you'd like to be unblocked.

We are mutuals and I appreciate you, but your blog isn't for me anymore. Unfollow me, I'd never take it personally. You have to cater your social media to your own tastes and whatever makes you happy. We can interact in other spaces anytime.

I'd like to follow you, but my moral and political beliefs don't align with yours. Is that a problem? As long as you're an adult, feel free. I don't intend to live in an echo chamber and I aim to learn about other realities.

I mainly draw m/f, but I talk and draw about gender and sexuality in a very fluid way. Sometimes seriously, sometimes as a joke. If you need characters and ships to be gender-conforming to a fault, my account is not for you.

+18 only

Do you take commissions? Yes, here's my carrd. Adults only. Do you have Patreon? Yes, here's the link. Once again, adults only.

Check my former pinned post and appreciate this beautiful fanart of my wife and her husband.

[morallyinept]

Hey D! How are you feeling today, handsome?

Oh no... what happened? Oh, well that wasn't very nice of Joel now, was it?

Joel, are you being a mean grump again?

Dieter say's you weren't very nice to him. What did I tell you boys before, hmm? That's right, you need to be mindful of someone else's feelings. I know, bud. It's a tough world out there, but if you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all.

Joel, you need to apologise to Dieter.

Don't look at me like that, I mean it, Joel.

Now, shake and make up. Dieter wants to, look...

There. All better. Honestly, those boys of mine... 🙄

So, last week we spoke about how we can channel negative thinking into positive thinking. But what about when negativity is directed towards you, by others? Then what?

Hold on tight, it's another Self-Care Session with Dieter & Jett!

There is always going to be someone who, for whatever reason and usually it's rooted deeply within themselves, is not going to like what you're about. Not going to like what you put out into the world.

Or they're just not going to like you. Period.

Yes D. That's right. I know, it's sad. Oh, don't worry, everybody likes you, bud. Trust me.

It's a fact of the world that opinion divides us, and it is what also makes us unique as human beings. But there are ways to express those differences of opinion in a thoughtful and well construed manner. Respect being the key.

But not everyone can, or wants to, express themselves in that way.

Negative people love to bring others down and sometimes, this can seem like it's the only thing that they enjoy doing. Isn't that right, D?

In a world full of social media consumption, where it's all too easy to be anonymous, there will always be those who feel the need to push that negativity onto others. And sometimes, in a degrading and toxic manner.

So, how can we can tackle this when it happens to us, Dieter? You got any thoughts on this?

Well, I mean that's one way to tackle it bud, but seems counterproductive, don't you think?

Easy there. Are we going to have to have another intervention?

Do I need to ask Frankie to stand in for you again? 🤨

That's better.

So, lets look at how you can deal with negativity aimed directly at you, be that through a physical person in your life such as a friend, spouse or family member etc..., or via anonymous comments and hate aimed at you on social media.

It's not YOU, it's them.

First thing to remember is that YOU are not the issue.

Negativity often stems from the projector's own self doubts, lack of confidence or traumatic experiences. Negative thinking can become a disassociation tactic, where the projector feels the need to arm themselves with a barrier and a pessimistic outlook on life to remain protected from further harm.

And, in some instances, people are just jerks.

Not you, D. You're fine.

You can't control negativity aimed towards you, but you can learn to process and deal with it in a way that doesn't linger or infect your mental well-being in the long term.

Don't buy into their negativity.

Don't allow yourself to become infected with toxic negativity.

Do not engage in a difficult person's habitual scepticism. Whatever you do, don't stoop to their level. Maintain your emotional distance and dignity. It's your best weapon.

Trying to convince someone to stop being negative may only challenge to them to amp up their hostility towards you. You know when someone tells you "to smile it could be worse" and all you want to do is lamp them?

Yeah, that. Don't do that.

A difficult person is probably locked into a negative mindset that is part of the fabric of their personality. Negative people often have a demanding nature and put pressure on those close to them. They want others to love and respect them, to "be there for them," yet they are incapable of offering the same emotional support back to others.

Limit your expectations when dealing with them.

A negative person isn't a good choice to turn to when you're feeling down yourself too. When you do engage with them, use noncommittal language. Acknowledge their comments without endorsing what they're saying.

Agree with them as far as you can, then rephrase their complaints using less loaded language.

You can't change their personality, but you might neutralize their toxic outlook.

When dealing with anonymous negativity online, these same points apply to some degree. It's just that you don't know them to be able to start a conversation to direct the negativity. So it's pointless to interact. Ignoring them is the best tactic here.

You can't solve their problems.

It is not your job to make an unhappy person happy. Read that shit again. It is not your job to make an unhappy person happy.

If you set out to change a person overnight, you'll fall short and may end up feeling disgruntled yourself. The only person whose happiness you can control is your own. You can (and should) remain positive when dealing with negative people, but don't fool yourself into thinking you can cheer them up or change their mindset.

Some people thrive on your misery at trying. Don't feed them that.

Invest in boundaries.

Setting boundaries is how you give yourself a break from an encroaching negative person. You need space where you can clear your head after dealing with someone who zaps you emotionally...

Lord, ain't that the truth.

Keep the negative person at arm's length to avoid being overwhelmed by their toxicity.

Even though you live with a smartphone wired to your hand, you aren't required return every call or text immediately. When you're frustrated or annoyed with a difficult person, take some time to collect your thoughts. Contact them when you're calmer. Give yourself time to recharge your batteries so when you do deal with them, you have the endurance and patience to handle them without resorting to murder.

Dieter and I would prefer not to visit you in jail, right bud?

Don't bite back. (Unless your name is Max Phillips. Nom.)

Uh, we'll just leave Max to it. It's spooky season after all... *backs out of the room*

When dealing with a negative person it's tempting to let yourself slide into anger or frustration, but save yourself the heartache. Responding angrily only feeds their negativity. Hold your tongue and listen. Eventually, when they realize you won't give them the reaction they seek, they will take their angry rants elsewhere.

Tempering your emotional responses can be difficult, but it is key to maintaining inner peace.

Protect your zen. No matter what it looks like...

Try not to take insensitive or tactless comments personally. Negative people are often so wrapped up in anger about perceived indignities that they aren't aware of how insulting they come across.

Although, there are some who wholly thrive on it. They're called assholes sadists.

Take charge and lead.

It's all too easy to become embroiled in a pointless debate and the next thing you know it's turned into a slanging match with threats and tantrums.

Be the bigger person and know when to disengage and walk away.

Don't allow yourself to stoop to their level of pettiness. You're better than that.

When online, use the block button.

It's there for a reason. It's there to protect you from unsolicited material, things you don't want to see-

Urm... 😐

It's also there for you to use to protect your own inner peace. Don't be afraid to use it.

And if someone is particularly insulting or harmful, you can always use that other button too - the report button.

If you happen to get an anonymous ask that's negative, the best thing to do is ignore it and delete it. Negative people want to know they're getting to you. It's how they feed off it and continue to harangue you.

Ignoring a bully is the best way in making them disappear as they will eventually tire and move onto someone else when they can see it's having no effect on you.

Drawing attention to negative asks, comments and toxicity on your blog, your social media, or wherever you have an online presence, only invites it into your life further. It's tempting to bite back, but it'll be more powerful if you ignore them.

Delete, block and move on. Delete, block and move on.

Be kind to yourself when others can't.

There will be times when someone's negativity towards you can cut deep like a knife. You're only human and scathing words aimed at you can be difficult to ignore sometimes. Especially when they seem so personal and you may already be in a fragile place.

It can be upsetting, it can knock your confidence and make you question your own self-worth and talent. But don't let them take that away from you.

It's important to remember what we said at the beginning; this is a THEM problem. Not a YOU problem.

And it's okay to feel saddened by it too. Or irritated. We're not invincible. But the best thing to do when that happens is to take some time out and to be kind to yourself.

Have a break, indulge in something you love for a little while that makes you happy. Surround yourself with positive things and positive people to help you find you way back to the sunshine and away from those stormy clouds.

That's the spirit, D! Positivity looks hot on you, baby!

Now, shall we go and see if we can turn Joel's frown upside down? Shall we do something nice for him, might make him feel less negative?

You got any ideas, D?

Oof. I think he could be swayed. He really likes it when we do that for him...

Wait, what are you implying? I'm talking about us making him his favourite roast... What are you talking about?!

Oh. Ohhhh...

Dieter and I - with a little help this week from a surly Joel - hope we've been able to help you understand that although negativity exists in all forms, and will be directed at you at some point in your life, when it happens it's important to understand that you're not the cause of it.

We'll catch you next time for more Self-Care with Dieter & Jett.

Stay kind. Stay creamy. 🖤

YOU. ARE. STRONGER. THAN. YOU. THINK. 🖤

Do you. Then do Dieter.

More Dieter & Jett here

🖤

GIFS of Dieter/Joel/Max by @perotovar @a7estrellas @uuuhshiny @miguelo-hara If I've used one of yours and not credited you, please do let me know.

ℹ️ Dieter and I always strive to bring you unbiased, fact-checked advice. We're not licensed therapists, so we do a lot of research to ensure we can provide helpful and informative posts. Well, I do. Dieter mostly sits around eating KitKats.

[aroaceleovaldez]

re: previous post, blog tips!

if just a general pjo blog, that's your house man do what you want. In general though just being frequently active and posting original posts will draw people to your blog. That's just kind of how blogging works. tbh same applies to most social media. just tag things appropriately and you're good (don't crosstag [tag irrelevant stuff, ex: tagging specific characters on a post that does not reference them specifically] and you probably need less tags than you think in general. fandom tags + whatever your own blog's organizational tags are is probably sufficient.) I'll throw some general pjo tagging tips below a cut at the bottom of this post. And obviously don't repost other people's stuff, that's a given. Reblogging is fine, obviously, that's a different thing. The only other thing I would specifically advise is making sure to enable custom themes on your blogs, just cause it's a nice way to show people you're not a bot, customize your blog, and it's just way easier to navigate. Just pick a theme that has very clear buttons, please. Previous/next page, like, reblog, etc. I've personally been enjoying the theme Vision recently.

For askblogs specifically - particularly if your askblog is heavily story-based or OC-based, people aren't likely to reblog frequently from you, so it can be hard to get traction on your askblog. That's just kind of the nature of askblogs. People are also very unlikely to reblog advertisement posts for askblogs. Ergo, best way to get traction on your askblog is to post general art or etc (depending on genre of askblog) occasionally, particularly towards the beginning of the blog, especially little memes and jokes. Also again just posting regularly and tagging appropriately. If you need asks, you are allowed to send yourself prompts or ask your friends to send you ones. I also personally recommend saving asks, since some you might be able to use later or maybe just don't have an idea for yet.

Also if you're starting an askblog, ABSOLUTELY MAKE SURE you open your inbox! Turn on anon if you're able. And if your inbox gets overwhelmed only turn off anon, don't close the inbox completely. Turning off anon will limit the amount of asks you get by a lot. Most askblogs i've seen that have become inactive or died are askblogs that closed their inbox and lost steam as a result, or never opened their inbox to begin with and didn't realize. Also label your blog clearly as an askblog. Askblogs and rp blogs are different things. If it's an RP blog, don't label it as an askblog, and vice versa, unless it is genuinely intended to be both, in which case label it as both, but know 90% of the time if you intend for it to be both it will end up purely an rp blog anyways. Askblogs, even text askblogs, are just a different beast. You can always make two sideblogs for the same character if you'd like.

Tagging advice below the cut cause this got long:

With PJO specifically, general tagging tips - "pjo" and "riordanverse" are the main two to tag stuff with for main series stuff. You can tag stuff "percy jackson" cause that is the series name but i personally try to refrain from that on this blog at least cause it's also a tag shared with a specific character. Obviously if it's side series, MCGA + Magnus Chase or TKC + The Kane Chronicles respectively, plus "riordanverse." I dont usually tag HoO/Heroes of Olympus or TOA/Trials of Apollo unless it is very specifically about those series and not just the characters from that series. Really please stop flooding the HoO and TOA tags with irrelevant stuff. Just keep it to specific-to-that-series.

Also PJO specific character names i just do [whatever name they usually go by in the series] + [surname or if lacking surname, "[series abbreviation]"], so like Leo would be "Leo Valdez" or Dakota would be "Dakota PJO." For deity chars i tag same as no-surname, "[god] PJO" or "[god] TKC" or whatever. For Reyna specifically there seems to be a lot of variations of how her name gets tagged, such as including her middle name or not including the accent or hyphen. I usually try to tag her as "Reyna Ramírez-Arellano."

I usually order tags [series] > [characters] > [etc] + [personal blog organization tags and/or any content warnings necessary] > [commentary tags]. For awhile it was tumblr only counted the first like 5 tags for what to show in tag searches, i think it might be first 20 tags now? unclear. doesn't really matter.

Anyways don't crosstag cause that's spam and otherwise do whatever you want forever have fun