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novankenn · 3 months

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Nora in : Tea with Jaune's family... Story-Time

"In a time before antiquity, a lonely young woman sat trapped, impressioned in a tower by her father. The once kind man, had shattered when his wife, the mother of his daughter passed while giving her birth. Obsessed with keeping her safe, he locked her away from the world..."

Nora: Wait... this sounds like that fairy-tale! The girl in the basement?

Nora: It's the Girl in the Tower!

Nora: So you are REALLY telling me a story.

Nora: Would you just listen! This is important!

Nora: Well can we get Bob to bring some finger sandwiches, or cookies? This is going to be long isn't it?

Nora: Okay. Bob!

Bob the Beowulf sticks his head in through the door.

Nora: Bob could you get us some cookies and pastures, and some hot chocolate, please?

Bob(Beowulf): *Yip

Bob's head vanishes back through the door.

Nora: I like Bob. He's nice.

Nora: Yes he is. Very well mannered, and extremely focused on his duties. Did you know that Bob is the FIRST ever Grimm to earn a doctorate in Butler Sciences?

Nora: How did he do that? He couldn't have gone to a normal school.

Nora: Correspondence courses.

Nora: Makes sense.

Nora: Anyway, while we wait for refreshments, I shall continue...

"So trapped behind a magical barrier, unable to leave the girl suffered. Her father cold, and caring only of her as a possession to keep safe, locked away from the world. So she started to wither, and it was only through her nanny and the books did she know of the outside world."

"But her reading gave her a taste for life. A desire for adventure, and by accident she discovered she could send tings pass the barrier that kept her trapped inside. So armed with ink, quill and paper she convinced her father to allow her access to, she started to send messages... seeking someone to save her...."

Nora: Is there a point to this fairy-tale?

Nora: Yes, there is.

Nora: Can we just get to it? I appreciate the build-up and the attempt to get me interested, but you're me. You know.

Nora: Yeah, your right. Okay, so the TLDR is that Grandma-ma Salem was the girl in the Tower.

Nora: Is that true?

Nora: Yes.

Nora: Well if it is true, she looks astoundingly good for someone older than dirt!

Nora: Anyway the rest of the TLDR is that Ozpin the Headmaster is the reincarnated soul of her rescuer, lover and husband.

Nora: Okay?

Nora: They got married, he grew ill and died. She tried to cheat death by conning the brother Gods... it failed, and in a fit of depression she threw herself into a pool of grimm goo.

Nora: She obviously survived.

Nora: Yes. Anyway Ozama, which was Ozpin's original name came back and the two fell in love, had four beautiful daughters... but Salem wasn't happy. After all those years alone, watching humanity rebuild she grew just a tad power hungry... and decided the best way to help Remnant would be to rule it.

Nora: So Ozpin... er Ozma thought differently and they fought didn't they?

Nora: Yes, they did. Salem attacked Ozama when he tried to leave during the night with their daughters.

Nora: No...

Nora: It happened...

Nora: NO! THIS IS A STUPID STORY! I DON'T WANNA...

Nora: Nora... this is the main point... in that clash of magical energies, one of their children was flung through time... that girl was Jasmine, Jaune's mother...

Nora: Now I'm getting a headache. So Jaune's mom is Salem's real daughter, meaning Fearless Leader... MY Jaune-Jaune is directly related to the queen of the Grimm?

Nora: Yes.

Nora: Question?

Nora: Yes?

Nora: Is this a universal constant like us?

Nora: Yes, it is but the problem is Salem and Jasmine don't know the other is alive, so it takes... Outside forces to get them to connect.

Nora: Forces like US!

Nora: Exactly!

Nora: But how does this all work? Like Queen of the Grimm just giving up, because she has great-grand-babies?

Nora: Salem has eons to fester with guilt and regret. Finding Jasmine opens her wounds, allowing love to finally touch her heart, which you know as well as I do the Arc's are masters of showering someone with love.

Nora: I do.

Nora: So do you understand? The ned for you and Jaune to have children?

Nora: So Salem has something else to occupy her time?

Nora: No, to fill her life with a loving family that will withstand the tests and trials of time.

Nora:...

The library door opened and Bob the Beowulf entered pushing a cart loaded with sweet pastries, cookies and a steaming kettle of hot chocolate.

Nora: Thank you Bob. Can you go ask Salem to join us?

Bob just nodded and padded off, leaving the two alone.

Nora: Question, does Jaune know about any of this? Because this seems like a BIG deal, and Jaune should know about it. Like it's not everyday you find out you're directly related to the big bad who controls all the grimm in the world!

Nora: To be honest... I don't know if he does... but you're right he should.

Nora: You think we could do the whole snatch and talk to him here routine you've been using on me?

Nora: Don't see why not.

(Master List)

#rwby #Nora in : Tea with Jaune's family #jaune arc #nora valkyrie #nora's arc #salem #saphron cotta arc #adrian cotta arc #terra cotta arc #jaune is salem's descendant #jaune is a descendant of salem theory #jaune's mom is just as baby crazy as grandma salem #is saph baby crazy too?#terra wants a REAL baby daddy

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howlingday · 1 month

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Yang: I got hit by a car on the way to work today.

Jaune: WHAT?!

Yang: Yeah. I got his by a car on my bike. Bumblebee is beyond repair, my neck is stiff and I can't raise my arm, but my boss made me go to the doctor, so I got the day off. That's a win in my book~!

Jaune: You got hit by a car! That's not a win!

Ruby: Crazy story, I was driving into work today and some dumbass motorcyclist pulled out in front of me. Naturally, I ran her over. These fuckers think they own the roads or something.

Weiss: My butler was driving me home from work today when a motorcyclist swerved in front of us and we hit him. These long-haired hippie fucks fishing for insurance money. I hate it here.

Nora: Funny story, I watched my best friend watch somebody on a motorcycle get hit by a car but didn't do anything to help the poor guy. Fucked up world.

Blake: Funny story, I was on the porn set while this fluffer was getting pounded hard. He was constantly grumbling about some guy on a stream watching a motorcycle accident. Clearly some kind of crypt-car whose top wrecking and decking wouldn't stop for some moped-bike scrub.

Mercury: Funny story, I was coming home in my land-speeder when some ignorant fuckboi cut me off in a rinky-dink little bicycle, so I ran him over and murdered his entire family in front of him.

Raven: So I was flying my usual route and saw some dude on a bike get hit by a car. I shit on him and flew away.

Maria: Yo, I didn't see shit.

Penny: I have a funny story. (Hiccups) I watched notorious assassin Mercury Black run over Yang Xiao Long and ran into a yellow car piloted by Ruby Rose. (Hiccups) Buy my mix-tape.

#rwby #aplfisher #maria calavera #jaune arc #yang xiao long #ruby rose #weiss schnee #nora valkyrie #blake belladonna #mercury black #penny polendina #raven branwen

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rocknroll7575 · 4 months

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Weiss " okay lets recap ruby fucked my brother, my butler fucked my mom, Jaune fucked my sister. So i am the only schnee who isn't fucked in the good way. That's fucked

Ruby: Even when out of Battle! You lose!

Jaune: HAHAHAHAHA!!!

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #rwby meme #rwby asks

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arc-misadventures · 1 year

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Horror Games

Jaune was a streamer, going by the name: Crescent Knight. And, today he was playing a relaxing game of, ‘Shadows of Doubt.’

Jaune: Okay… Fingerprints collected. Addresses collected. Any, and all information on the victim has been collected, and yet we have no clue who murdered this poor sod.

GoldenDragon: It was the butler!

RedReaper: No, it was the maid!

Jaune: I don’t think there is a maid, or a butler character in the game. You two.

GoldenDragon: I can dream, Harold!

Jaune: Hehe~! That you can. Ahh, my characters hungry. Lets see, what we should have today…?

TeaLotus: Noodles.

ThunderThighs: Pancakes!

Jaune: There are no pancakes, ThunderThighs, sorry.

ThunderThighs: WHAT?!!

ThunderThighs: This game sucks!

Jaune: Hehehe. What is with you, and your weird obsession with pancakes?

Jaune: Let’s see… 147th street…?!

A howling cry soon emanates form his speakers, causing, Jaune to look at the chat feed.

Jaune: Hey, thanks, GoddessofVictory for subscribing for…? (Whistles~!) Whoa… 14 months! Thank you! And, you sent me a message too…Let’s see… “Crescent, have you decided to do anymore collab streams with any other streamers soon?” Collab streams, eh? Well, Emerald Guardian, and I are planning on playing a few games later, but we need a few more people to play before we can do that. So… Maybe, hopefully soon.

ShadowNinja: Oh! Are you two going to be crossing swords soon~?

Jaune: Hilarious, Ninja, absolutely hilarious…

ShadowNinja: Let me enjoy my otp dammit!

AngelofSnow: We know you’re dating, let us enjoy this!

Jaune: Sheesh, can’t you guys get your own love life to be interested in. Not mine you sad, lonely people?

RedReaper: Ouch.

IceCreamShortstack: 🤣🤣🤣🤣

GoldenDragon: That hurts dude.

Jaune: Oh, we…

: AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Jaune: …

Jaune: Lamb…?

TeaLotus: Did anyone else hear a scream?

CoffeeAddict: Was that Emerald Guardian?

BunbunBunny: Is she okay?

Jaune: Yeah, that was, Emerald Guardian, chat. She’s playing some sort of horror game.

Jaune: …

Jaune: I don’t think she’s winning…

CoffeeAddict: I don’t think so.

RedReaper: Sounds like she died during a jump scare.

Jaune: Yeah, probably. I don’t understand why she’s playing one of those game. She doesn’t watch horror films, because she can’t handle them, I don’t watch them because I’m bored by them. So, why is she playing those kind of games?!

GoldenDragon: Because it’s fun?

GoddesofVictory: People like to be scared.

Jaune: I know that, but…

(Click)

Jaune: Hmm?

Jaune swiveled in his chair, allow the chat to see the back of his chair as he addressed the new arrival in his room.

Jaune: Jessica? You okay?

ShadowNinja: Oh, are we going to have some juicy Emerald Knight moments!

IceCreamShortstack: 😘😘😘

AngelofSnow: Hell yeah!

Jaune: Do you need…? Hey, what are you… Ooph?!

ThunderThighs: Oohhh~! Sounds like something interesting is happening~!

GoddessofVictory: This should be good!

Jaune: Uhh… You okay?

Jessica: No…

Jaune: Did something scary happen?

Jessica: Yes…

Jaune: Okay… Do you want to stay here for a while then?

Jessica: Please?

Jaune: Stay as long as you want then. Now, lets get back to it.

Jaune swivelled in his chair so he was facing the camera again, and he showed himself sitting in his chair with his girlfriend, Jessica, the Emerald Guardian hugging him tightly, resting her head in the crook of his neck as she sat on him.

GoddessofVictory: OH MY GODS!!!

IceCreamLover: ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

ShadowNinja: YES! All my fantasies are coming true!!!

BunBunBunny: Oh that is so precious!

CoffeeAddict: That’s so fucking adorable!

KnightBat: Hey, has anyone seem, Emerald Knight?

SuperMan: She left her game after that last jump scare.

GoldenDragon: Look for yourself.

RedReaper: ❤️ This is so cute!!! ❤️

AmazonianQueen: OH MY GODS!!! She hugging him like a koala! That is so precious!

Jaune: Hehe~! Ladies, and gentlemen: The benefits of a small girlfriend.

Jaune smiled for the camera before giving his Smol girlfriend a kiss, causing the chat feed to explode with hearts, and happy comments.

Jaune: Alright then, where were we…? Ahh yes. Murder~!

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pilot-boi · 1 month

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Jaune be like "My favourite cake is new york cheesecake! What about me being lactose intolerant, I clearly just suffer" and if that isnt also you

I can’t help the similarities, I didn’t do this. But bro if I don’t love cheesecake

Also that’s a thought, New York City doesn’t exist in Remnant so it would have to be called something else. Based on the “existence” of cake butler I have to assume Solitas. But I’m leaning towards Mantle, not Atlas. The shining city just doesn’t have the New York rat vibes

#rwby #jaune arc #mine #asks #Remy steel official

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palaceofpassion · 10 months

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For the HouseHold Arc Au, does Jaune do all the laundry or only a bit of it?

"I do all of it. The girls weren't... happy with that at first. But I asked if they knew how, and only Jessica seemed to raise her hand." He shrugged, "Weiss was particularly upset of course, as she be."

"First of all!" The snowy heiress quickly interrupted. "I was... uncomfortable with you handling them!"

"That's fair honestly." He nodded, he of course had to ask if she was okay with it.

"And... I didn't know how to do it... my butlers always did."

He went along, "Right, you mentioned that the first time. Like I said, it's clothing, that needs to be cleaned. Seven sisters, one ma. Had to learn, and I'm kinda... well..." He shrugged, "Jaded to them?" Tilting his head to the side.

"I noticed... it was peculiar. I was lead to believe that boys would often run off with young women's undergarments in panty raids." He blinked, "Weiss, I think that's an old thing, and I'm not Neptune or anything like that."

She took a deep breath, recalling the young man that had attempted to steal her heart... it had been good, till she realized how much of a womanizer he was. "Point taken."

He smiled, "And, you've said it yourself that-"

"Yes! Okay, yes, the clothes ARE rather soft and fluffy and... really comfortable." She muttered the next part, "Especially our sleep wear."

He smiled, nodding at the approval.

Though he didn't notice the pair of eyes that seemed to frown at the comment he made about being jaded towards underwear.

#householdarc #jaune arc #weiss schnee

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c-jay-s-text-posts-only · 1 year

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A Hairy Eulogy

Written with permission from @n6918

The next afternoon, Jaune was wandering around the Academy. He and Team RWBY had left the EverAfter the evening before and arrived just as the sun set.

When they were finally able to reach Shade, Jaune was amazed to see how packed it was. So many people from all the other kingdoms had come.

On one hand, many of the locals were struggling to be around those from Atlas, Vale, and Mistral - tensions between them and the Vecchians were rather high, especially after the war.

But on the other hand, he was glad so many people had gotten Ruby's message and taken it seriously; even Saphron and Terra came with Adrian.

He had gotten an earful from her since he hadn't told the full truth, but it warmed his heart to see his family again, and he promised to keep them out of harm's way.

As he wandered, he noticed the doors to one of the big rooms had been shut. He remembered seeing these ones open yesterday.

'Hello?' He wondered, 'What do we got over here?'

Jaune put his ear to the door, and heard what he could only describe as a wedding march.

'Can people get married at the academies?' He didn't know that until now.

Jaune pushed it open slightly, just enough to see inside. What he saw left him very perplexed.

It was dark inside, save for a spotlight aimed at a podium near the front of the room. Team RWBY were there, as well as Ren, Nora, Oscar, and Emerald. Weiss's sister, brother, and mother were with them too, and so was their butler.

Everyone faced away from the entrance, and so didn't see that Jaune had found them.

"Wha-" he wanted to ask.

Weiss stepped up to the podium, and everyone sat down.

"Dearly beloved." She began grandly, "My Friends. Family. And Ruby."

"Whu- HEY!" Ruby pouted.

Everyone laughed. Weiss hid a giggle behind her dainty hand.

"Oh, come on!" Ruby stamped the ground from her seat,

"Right, right, excuse me." Weiss recovered, "That was very mean of me, and I'm sorry, I won't do it again- moving on!"

"Not funny, Bro." Ruby pushed her lips out.

"We are gathered here this afternoon," Continued Weiss, "Ahem, in the sight of the Gods . . . And the enhanced hearing of our fun-loving-four-eared-friend, Blake-"

"PFFT- shit!" Blake covered her mouth and turned away.

Yang threw her head back to laugh and fell off the bench.

"Ooh, look at me, aren't I being funny?" Weiss sounded amused,

"Get on it with it already!" Nora hollered,

"Okay-okay! Okay." Weiss cleared her throat, "We are gathered here today, on this, most dreadful occasion. To mourn the absolute loss of our Dear friend, Jaune Arc's beard."

Jaune accidentally banged his head against the door.

"The fuck?" He stumbled in and carefully shut the door behind him.

Somehow, no one had noticed. Yang's mouth fell open and her eyebrows lowered as she got off the floor.

"Whu- dude." She took her seat and her eyelids lowered too, "Is this seriously what you dragged us all here for?"

"Yes." Weiss didn't even hesitate,

"Oh- Weiss, honestly." Winter looked disappointed, "I was meant to have a meeting with the Ace-Ops this afternoon, I cleared my schedule for you."

"I- I think our little Snowflake has something important to say about this." Klein interjected kindly, his eyes turned from brown to yellow, "Go on, my dear. What about losing this Jaune's beard has you so upset?"

"Thank you Klein." Weiss smiled at him, "as I was saying-"

"Uh, hold-up!" Interrupted Ruby, "Weiss, are you sure this is a good idea?"

"What do you mean?" Weiss raised an eyebrow,

"Well, like," Ruby tried to find the words, "Is this really something we need to cry about?"

"I still don't follow." Weiss shook her head,

"Dude, it's a frikken beard!" Yang found the words quite easily, "It's not like we need to have a ceremony for it!"

'. . . Thank you?' Jaune wasn't sure how to feel,

"Again, you seriously dragged us here to talk about that?" Yang put her hands on her hips,

"Well, how couldn't I?" Weiss threw her arms up, "I needed to talk to someone about this! Preferably a group of people. I mean, it's a completely, criminally rotten shame he doesn't have it anymore!"

"And that wolf tail too." Blake purred quietly, wiping her nose with a loud sniff,

"You see?" Weiss pointed to her teammate, "She understands!"

"Wait-a-moment, now I'm confused." Whitely raised his hand, "Were you friends with some one named Jaune, or were you friends with his beard?"

"Eughhh . . ." Winter shivered in her seat, "Whitley, please. Don't talk like that."

"Why not?" Whitely was genuinely puzzled,

"The picture it paints isn't one I'm interested in seeing." Winter didn't miss a beat,

"I beg your pardon?" Whitely still didn't understand, "I just want to know who we're holding this funeral for . . . And if I should feel sorry for, um, whomever we're talking about."

"Why is that important?" Winter blushed and wrinkled her nose,

"Well, I'd feel quite offended if someone mourned something so superficial about me." Whitely reasoned, "It'd be like if we held a ceremony for your hair before you dyed it white."

"You dye your hair?" Nora leaned over to see.

Winter glared at her little brother.

'No one was supposed to know.' She thought.

"I'd like to know whether we should do this for your father." Remarked Willow, "I think I prefer the idea of celebrating his mustache rather than the man himself."

The two considered.

"It is what he deserves at the moment." Whitely conceded,

"I like the sound of that as well, Mother." Winter nodded, then she turned back to the podium, "By the way, which one is Jaune again?"

Jaune's stared and gaped. He couldn't tell if Winter was being sarcastic or if she really didn't know, but regardless, he didn't like that at all.

'I'm so glad the first time I broke you a twenty was also the last time I ever broke you a twenty.' He thought grumpily, 'I worked with you for six months, and you don't even know my name? You literally ditched me in the Central Location like three days ago!'

Suddenly.

"BARK-BARK-WOOF-WOOF-LOOK-AT-HIM!" Nora did her best impression of an excited chihuahua, "HE'S SO HANDSOME AND COOL HERE!!

By now, Weiss had brought up a projected image of The Rusted Knight's true face. Jaune slapped his thigh, he was shocked but mostly confused.

'Who took that and when?!' He wanted to shout.

The picture Weiss used wasn't very flattering. It showed a very frantic Jaune, with his hand on Juniper's snout. His hair looked good, and it captured his beard nicely, but he had been a total mess there.

The look in his eyes did nothing to help.

That this was even happening made no sense.

Where was team SSSN when you needed time to bond with the bros over things we all understood?

"Thanks to Ruby," Weiss was still oblivious to Jaune being there, "the Visage has permanently been made immortal. And you have my eternal gratitude."

All eyes, except for Blake, turned to Ruby, who didn't look the least bit ashamed.

"My beastly bestie glowed up so good!" Ruby insisted, "Everyone deserves to know it! Look at him! LOOK AT HOW GOOD HE LOOKS!"

Blake hadn't taken her eyes off the picture; she didn't need a second telling. She was practically drooling, but interestingly, Yang wasn't very upset about that.

"Well said, I concur." Weiss nodded.

And the others murmured their agreement.

"What's he putting his hand on there?" Emerald tilted her head, "Is that a deer or like an elk, or something?"

"Oh, it's so cute." Oscar smiled,

"Look at those beautiful eyes!" Added Willow,

"That was Juniper." Explained Weiss, "The Rusted Knight's faithful jackalope."

"I WANNA RIDE THE BUNNY!" Nora shouted suddenly,

"Phrasing . . ." Ren sighed and clapped his forehead,

"As far as this creature is concerned," Put-in Winter, "head-pats and ear-scritchies are of the highest order."

"Wait, the who?" Whitely stuck his pinky in his ear and wiggled it out with a pop, "I can't have heard that right. Who's jacks-a-lot did you say-?"

"You heard me correctly, Whitely." Said Weiss, "Juniper is a jackalope, and she belonged to the Rusted Knight."

She smirked broadly.

"Whose hand is on her snout in the picture." She added.

"Wait, what?" Ren perked up,

"Our friend Jaune is, in fact," Weiss said proudly, "The Rusted Knight from the beloved children's story: The Girl Who Fell Through The World."

Everyone but Team RWBY reacted.

"No . . ." Emerald gaped, "You're lying."

"But-!" Winter looked like she might lose her mind, "But the Rusted Knight was an older man! I thought you said this Jaune was a friend of yours from Beacon?!"

"I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!!" Nora was thrilled, her eyes sparkled like polished gemstones, "I KNEW I HAD A REASON FOR CALLING HIM FEARLESS LEADER!! AND EVERYBODY DOUBTED ME!"

"But how?" Ren was more impressed, "That story was written almost two hundred years ago."

"Wait, that story was real?" Weiss knew she had Oscar's and Ozpin's full attention now,

"Indeed," She said, "The Girl Who Fell Through The World is, as it turns out, a true story. But certain events were either written out or altered to tell a much better one for children."

The others all wanted to know more, but Weiss quickly hushed them.

"As I'm sure this picture clearly shows," She said grandly, "Jaune's beard truly was a beautiful thing. The edges were a bit crooked, and the corners were somewhat unkempt, but it was thick~ and full~."

Jaune furrowed his brow.

'Am I hearing this right?' He was sure he couldn't be.

"The strands of grey mixed in with his blonde hair," Weiss seemed lost in her own little world now, "like veins of silver lost amid a field of gold, forever twirled and twined like clouds in the early morning sky."

Still looking at the picture, the others appraised his look, like critics at an unveiling. Although, none of them could remember a time when the sky appeared gold.

"And lest I dare myself to neglect," Weiss added quickly, "the way it shaped his~ beautiful face~."

Again, the others collectively agreed.

'Wait a sec, my beautiful face?' Jaune couldn't believe it, '. . . This woman is on drugs.'

"To summarize for those of you who are lost in my explanation, because I know that's possible now." Weiss paused impressively, "Jaune's beard was a hot, sexy thing, and it deserved its own article and three-page-spread in a Reader's Wives magazine."

"Why do you know what those are?" Ren was smirking.

"By the Gods . . ." But Weiss hadn't noticed, "Just looking at it had me weak in the knees and positively dripping~! I'm so sure that if I'd taken my panties off and gagged Yang with them, I could've shut her up for once."

"Ew." Ruby grimaced.

"PFFFFFT!" Blake palmed her face and tried not to laugh,

"Dude, I dare you to try that." Yang didn't think it was funny, "I dare ya, I just dare ya!"

Whitely had clamped his hands over his ears.

"I DON'T NEED TO HEAR MY SISTER TALKING LIKE THIS!" He nearly shouted.

Winter and Willow started weeping. Though for very different reasons.

"I can't believe my sister would speak in such a manner!" She gasped and hiccupped, "It's- it's . . . It's undignified! She used to be so precious!!"

"My darling girl is growing up!" Willow dabbed her eyes with a handkerchief, "I'm so proud of you my dear!"

Klein just stared blankly and his eyes turned pink. He wasn't sure if he should laugh or cry. And when he decided to do anything, he promptly fainted.

Whitely caught him just in time, Ren and Oscar gave him a hand too, and they laid Klein down on a free bench.

"In closing," Weiss finished, putting the picture away, "I wish to say this. Fare thee well, oh glorious beard and tail! You shall be sorely missed-"

The spotlight went out, and darkness filled the room.

"Agh!" Shrieked Ruby, "I'm blind!"

Winter and Ren readied their weapons.

"Who's there?!" Demanded Weiss, "How dare you interrupt-"

"Okay, I've heard just about enough." Jaune's voice boomed from the back of the room.

The main lights turned back on.

Weiss saw Jaune and screamed for a second before calming down.

"Oh, hi Jaune!" She tried, desperate to save face, "I- um . . . How are you doing?"

"Well enough to know that I could have a three-page-spread in Dazzle." Jaune smirked.

The colour drained from Weiss's face, which Yang, Blake, and Ruby thought looked hilarious. They didn't think her skin could get any lighter.

Dazzle was a popular Health and fitness magazine, and it often showcased some of the best, most physically attractive people on Remnant.

Yang mentioned once that Weiss sometimes read them, but only when she needed . . . Inspiration.

"Oh." Weiss anxiously bit her lip, "Um, I see . . . Uhm . . . Wh- we- huhhh . . "

She took a deep breath and bit the bullet.

"How much of that . . ." She asked, "how much of that did you hear?"

Jaune was still smirking.

"I came in at around the 'Dearly beloved' bit." He answered.

Weiss's pupils dilated.

"Ah- . . . Ha . . ." Was all she could say.

Jaune's smirk became a smile.

"I'm not upset, just so you know." He told her.

"Ohhhh . . ." Weiss buried her face in her hands, "Gods, I've made such a fool of myself . . ."

"If nothing else, I just think it's funny." Jaune crossed his arms and cocked an eyebrow, "I didn't know I affected you like that."

"I thought you said you didn't think you had an affect at all!" Called Nora,

"I do now, apparently!" Jaune called back,

"Please stopppp." Weiss begged, raising her head, "Look, I'm sorry. I mean it, I am-!"

"Hey."

Jaune put his thumb on her chin, tilting her head up to look her in the eye. Weiss stopped at once.

"I forgive you." He said simply.

And for the third time since they'd met up again, Jaune have her a hug. Weiss's strength returned, and she threw her arms around him, squeezing tightly.

Everyone cooed as they watched.

"But you know," He reminded her, " I could always just grow my beard out again-"

Weiss jerked back in his arms.

"YES!" She didn't even hesitate and blushed when she realised what she'd done, "Uh- ahem! Please. Yes. Please. Please do."

Jaune wheezed and laughed.

“YOOOOOOOOOO-!!” Ruby, Yang, and Emerald laughed too, none of them could believe their ears.

"Okay, okay." Jaune recovered, silencing the crowd, "I'll grow my beard out again."

"EEEEEEEEEEE!" Weiss balled her hands into fists and jittered excitedly on the spot.

Blake was excited, too, and was bouncing in her seat with glee. Once again, Yang, surprisingly, didn't seem to mind. She just smiled.

"But if we want to do this right . . ." Now Jaune bit his lip, "I gotta ask you something."

He dropped down on one knee and took Weiss's hand in his.

Everyone gasped.

Was this happening?

"Weiss Seraphim Winona Schnee." Jaune proposed, "Will you do me the honor . . . of signing a prenup with me?"

The mood died at once. Strangely, Ren was the only one doing his very best not to laugh out loud.

"What?!" All the girls except for Weiss shouted,

"Wh-. Ah- eh- m, what." Weiss fumbled,

"There's always a catch." Winter sighed, shaking her head, "And Seraphim is my middle name!"

"Lousy blood-sucker." Muttered Willow,

"I'm surprised you know what that is." Realised Ruby.

For those who don't know, a prenup, or prenuptial is an agreement made between two people before marriage. It establishes either the husband's or wife's rights to property and support in the event of divorce or death.

Somehow, it rubbed the girls the wrong way, knowing Jaune would want one. Ruby, and Yang especially. They both knew there was no escaping death; they had lost their mother after all.

What they didn't like was the idea of planning for a separation.

Something about that felt . . . Underhanded.

"Listen, Momma raised a smart boy." Jaune liked to pretend he was, "If we really wanna do this, then I think we both deserve a little security. Don't you think?"

Now, Weiss was a practical woman, and she agreed that security was important. She pursed her lips together.

"Ahhhhugh fine," she sighed reluctantly, then thought carefully and clicked her tongue, "how about . . . Ten-thousand lien a month for you to stay by my side, that fair?"

"Well, I was thinking of- you whaaAATT??" Jaune stared at her in utter disbelief,

"What?" Weiss was surprised,

"You- you're kidding me, right?" Jaune recovered with a shake of his head, "ten-thousand?"

"What? What's wrong with that??" Weiss was very confused, "Is it not enough-"

"Weiss, are you trying to buy me or marry me?" He quickly stopped her,

"Ah-" Weiss paused,

"Ah-" Ren, Blake, and Yang paused,

"Ah-" Willow, Winter, and Whitley inhaled sharply through their teeth,

"Ooh . . ." Ruby winced, "Yeahhhh, you- you wouldn't have to pay him to do that . . ."

Weiss felt very ashamed of herself. She must have sounded a lot like her father just then. Throughout her entire speech, in fact.

Jaune's mouth morphed into a teasing smile and Weiss saw it.

"But-" She tried, "But you said-"

"I was joking," Jaune soothed her, "I don't really want a prenup. Are you THAT serious?"

By now, Weiss's face had turned incredibly pink. Any pinker, and she might pass out.

Yang leaned over to Blake.

"It's weird seeing him tease people like this." She whispered.

"Mm-hm." Blake agreed.

"Well . . ." Weiss tried again, "I . . . We've both done a lot of growing since we met at Beacon."

"Well, yeah . . ." Jaune nodded, sheepish.

"And . . . I can see now, with the benefit of foresight . . . And . . . hindsight, I suppose . . ." Weiss admitted, "that I'd be quite happy to share a future with you."

"Foresight and hindsight?" Jaune cocked an eyebrow again.

Weiss was about to speak again, but her thoughts were cut short, however, as a loud voice broke through the building tension.

"Oh, NOW you like him." Nora wasn't impressed.

Weiss jumped.

"Well?" Nora leaned in expectantly, pinching her fingers together and shaking her hand, "Speak-a da Basic! Do you like Jaune-Jaune for Jaune-Jaune, or because you know how sexy he's gonna be when he's your mom's age?"

"A-And- and what if I do?" She tried not to look embarrassed, "I'm grown up enough to admit when I'm wrong. Or- when I have been."

"Ah- excuse me," Willow raised her hand, "I'm not nearly that old."

No one argued that.

Nora put her hands on her hips and shook her head.

"Listen, Weissy, if you didn't like his goofball-hero era, then you don't deserve him as a full-blown DILF." She proclaimed, as if it were ancient wisdom, "I don't care if you don't think you're marrying him for the beard or not, ya gots ta earn the rights to it."

"Nora . . ." Jaune couldn't be angry,

"Look, I'mma be honest," Nora said, turning to him, "You know I've always thought you were hot, but if the chips were down and we didn't have Ren, I'd've totally gone out with you."

Everyone stared at Ren, who nodded.

"It was mutual." He said plainly,

". . . Seriously?" Jaune was touched,

"With or without the beard." Nora smiled, "You're still our Jaune."

Behind everyone, Oscar was just confused.

"Wait-wait-wait, I still don't get it." He scratched his head, "What does the beard have to do with it?"

He came from a certain part of Mistral where beards were considered hard on the eyes, especially if they weren't trimmed properly.

Emerald gave him a pitying look and patted his cheek like an over-concerned aunt.

"Eh, I'll tell you about it when you're older, sweetie." She promised.

Oscar blushed. He wasn't sure how to feel about being called 'sweetie' by Emerald of all people.

Jaune, meanwhile, was blushing too and had looked away.

"Daaaaammnn." He fidgeted, "You got me twirlin' my hair and-"

Jaune reached up, and remembered.

"Oh yeah . . ." He wrinkled his forehead, "The haircut."

Everyone laughed again, even Jaune. Looking out at the sea of smiling faces, from friends both old and new, he felt happy for the first time in years.

It was great to be back to his old self again.

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juanarc-thethird · 7 months

Text

May I give you a suggestion?

Jaune (Butler): What do you wish to drink, miss?

Weiss: Hmm... I don't know.

Jaune: May I give you a suggestion?

Weiss: Sure.

Jaune: Never wear those heels with that jacket. Please have some self respect.

Weiss: *Schock* I beg your pardon?!

#jaune arc #jaune #rwby jaune #rwby jaune arc #rwby weiss #weiss schnee #rwby weiss schnee #weiss #rwby #rwby shitpost

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razorblade180 · 2 years

Text

Ruby:Maybe the real heroes are the friends we made along the way?

Blake:What if the friends we made along the way were always the heroes we looked for?

Ruby:Isn’t that kinda what I just sai-

Blake:*shakes story book*

Jaune:Zzzz

Ruby:….Oh. Ah…my head hurts.

Weiss:I refuse to believe this.

Yang:Because it means you had many nights excitedly asking your butler to read to you before bed; wishing they skipped to the good part of the story where Jaune shows up.

Weiss:*drops to her knees* I refuse to believe this!

#rwby #ruby rose #jaune arc #weiss schnee #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 9

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platinumrosetail · 1 year

Note

Hi how your day going

Can I request

Yandere team RWBY x baby koi fish fanws reader

Like each members of team Ruby find baby reader and take her in as her own please

And she a Koi fish fanws so she has a mermaid tail

Please and thank you

Rwby! Rwby! Rwby!!! Also the characters will be ages up to 18-19.

Warning: noob author, female reader, platonic yandere characters, and others.

Characters: ruby, weiss, Blake, yang.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruby:

She met you when she passed the fountain at beacon, you were just hiding there as some bullies (Cardin and his lackeys) that were picking on you and fled to the fountain as fast as you could.

She had shown her friends and sister you, they all loved you as you were still a child and would need guidance so they all took care of you but ruby is the one who took the title of ‘mom’ to you.

You helped ruby confess to Weiss and so both become your mothers while you helped yang and Blake get together, they all called you the little matchmaker as you helped them get in a relationship with the one they love.

They all begged glynda and professor ozpin to keep you, glynda was against it but ozpin thought it would teach them responsibility and on how to take care of any children who’re in danger or lost from their parents.

Ruby would sneak you and her some cookies when you two weren’t supposed top have any yet which brought you two to a sugar rush that wiess had to deal with until it wears off.

You and ruby are spoiled by Weiss when she uses the card that was given to her from her father which all of team rwby and you hate. Tai adores you and thinks of you as his granddaughter even though he thinks that ruby is a bit young to take care of a child at the age she is plus with how she and her teammates, your mother and aunts, are huntresses as well.

You were a bit afraid of zwei but soon learns that he wouldn’t hurt you as he protected you from Cardin until your mothers and aunts came to teach him a leases on. You also met team jnpr who all thought you were adorable.

Weiss:

Weiss had found you knew her family estate before she went to beacon and had taken you with her without anyone but her family butler; Klein, know about you which he found was sweet of her and made sure to keep this secrecy of hers from her father as he is the big issue here more so than her mother and siblings.

Ozpin had let you stay with her as long as she and her team that was deformed after coming to beacon can look after you and take responsibilities for you.

Ruby loved you and thought you were the most adorable child she had ever seen, yang as well as her sister also loves you the same and had soon become the self-proclaimed aunt for you, Blake was worried for you considering weiss family neglecting faunas alike with force labor but soon seen that weiss takes good care of you and also became your aunt soon after.

You helped the group get together; ruby and weiss, yang and blake, which made you the matchmaker of the small little family.

Jnpr soon mat you after jaune saw you with weiss, he didn’t know that ruby and weiss was together as the two wanted to get used to the new relationship plus weiss father would have a fit and she doesn’t want that to stress her and you and with the fact her father still doesn’t know about you yet, jaune started trying to flirt with Wei’s before you spoke before she could and said she was already in a relationship with ruby which shocked and sadden him but he understood and left.

When winter met your it was when she came to visit weiss along with because of the festival happening at beacon for future hunters and hutresses. She was shocked that weiss would have a child with her but was soon explained the whole story and understood quickly and became a aunt figure to you as well.

Weeiss had bought a wheelchair for you which alerted her father but she gave an excuse that a friend of hers needed it and it doesn’t cost that much (it does but not for her family) and so he rwhole family know of this wheelchair friend of their daughter/sister, minus Klein and winter and was now wondering who you were. If Cardin ever picked on you, he now wished he hadn’t as he was soon in a nightmare of a time that he would never forget even if he wanted to.

Yang:

Yang had found you while she was out on here motorcycle, you were getting bullied by some thugs sand she took care of them for you and decided to show you to her friends and sister.

Ruby self-proclaimed herself as the aunt and made her girlfriend the aunt as well. Blake, yang’s girlfriend became your second mother which was a bit nerve reason as you thought she might think of you as lunch like a regular cat would with regular fish but that soon changed fast as she and yang protected you from Cardin who was bullying you and the other Faunus which made the two mothers angry and taught him a lesson.

Blake helped educate you on Faunus history while yang taught you how to be street smart, weiss teaches you on the economy and human history while ruby how to use the puppy dog eyes with zwei.

Ozpin had let yang take you in as you two already grown attached to each other and cause you had no known parents or relatives to take you in and cause it might help with Yang personality and teach her and the rest of team rwby about responsibility along with how to take care of the lost children that might come up on their missions as soon to be huntresses.

Tai and Blake’s parents all love you, you soon became their granddaughter and brought the two families together which helps everyone out as weiss made sure to secretly help the Faunus out with the knowledge that Blake’s family and herself has plus the help of her team now every Faunus with get a brighter future with the help of all of team rwby.

Jnpr met you soon after you officially became the child of yang and blake when they got together and now they’re help of babysitting, though mostly Pyrrha and ren was the one that helped took care of you while jaune and Nora played games with you and of course Pyrrha and ren joined as you had insisted all of you to play.

Yang will protect you from anyone that poses a threat to you and her friends, and sister as long as you stick beside her.

Blake:

Blake’s family was a close friends of your family, so when all but you passed because of some humans that still hated the Faunus killed them while you were visiting the belladonna family, it was only right for them to take you in, though blake said that she would like to adopt you as her daughter which was fine with her parents as they know that she is responsible enough to keep you safe.

She took you with her to beacon as she had gotten the permission from ozpin that she can as long as you stay at the dorms and she along with her team make sure to take care of you.

You helped with any problems she had and helped the team get along and all of you look out for each other and make sure you’re safe from Cardin and anybody that thought that it was a good idea to bully you.

Blake tries to not eat fish around you as that might freak you and make you scared of her but when someone does it on purpose then she will raise hell on that person and anybody who joined in.

You had helped yang and blake get together as well as ruby and weiss which gave you the title as you had somehow got other people together though blake make sure that you don’t overwhelm yourself.

Tai also loved you and made sure to teach you some things he would think you need to know while qrow somewhat stayed at a distance with you but still came in with some life advise just in case you might need it in the future same with tai but it was mostly qrow’s advise that sticker with you.

Jnpr were the go to babysitter for you if they aren’t on a mission for when rwby is about to go on a mission, if team jnpr are on a mission the uncle sun and neptune which was always fun but ends in a scolding for them and a quick check up for you.

#anime #various x reader #anime x reader #x reader stories #rwby x reader #platonic #yandere x reader #yandere #x child reader

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