#cause shared trauma <3< /div>
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Venom!Hobie Cat-Symbiote AU!
Okay so I might have made an AU of my AU...
It's based on my Venom!Hobie au but with a slightly (?) lighter tone in the sense that Hobie actually gets along well with his symbiote. Though they initially mostly get along due to shared mutural trauma... (But more about that later)
This version of the symbiote is more animalistic and usually communicates with Hobie through emotions- sorta projecting its own emotions and feelings towards him to let him know how it feels about something, though it might also communicate via single words or short sentences but that's pretty rare.
So, I'll do like I did in my original Venom!Hobie post and focus on the Design first:
Since they get along the symbiote feels safe around Hobie and thus it'll often "extend" itself outside of him and take the shape of a (freaky looking) cat - Kinda like how VENOM is able to partially seperate itself from Eddie while still being tethered to him:

Like this but they actually get along and the symbiote looks kinda like this:
(Once again- I CANNOT draw but the brainrot is stronger so I need to share this)

(I didn't draw the symbiote goo that would extend from it to tether it to Hobie but it's there I swear!)
Since this is Spider-Punk's symbiote I wanted some of the spikes to carry over in this design
I haven't quite decided if it should have the "running-mascara" look (buttom drawing) for its eyes like Spider-Punk's mask has or not so lemme know what you guys think?
The spikes are used as a way for it to communicate to others as a way to make its body language more expressive (though it only shows itself around people it really trusts so it rarely uses them as it still just communicates its emotions directly to Hobie when it needs to)
And like with Venom!Hobie the spikes are reminiscent of symbiote teeth
When it's relaxed/happy the spikes will be pressed down towards its body - making it easy to pet- if somebody would dare approach it that is
Hobie pets it a lot as it usually sits on his shoulder when he walks around (when there's nobody around that is)
The symbiote is still made of the same goo as regular symbiotes so it does not feel like petting a cat at all- Hobie doesn't mind but most other people find it rather unpleasant to touch
The "fuzzy" look is just the symbiote goo trying to imitate cat fur
The reason the symbiote takes this form is partially because it's more animalistic and likes physical affection (from people it trusts, it will bite your hand off if it doesn't like/trust you and you try to pet it) and partially because Hobie is a cat person and it used it as a method to make Hobie like it more when they first "met" + petting it helped Hobie calm down and still does
It's gotten pretty good at mimicking cat noises including purring
It'll usually stay on Hobie's shoulder or sit in his lap like this, it's still tethered to him so it can't go that far without him - not that it really wants to anyways
If it likes someone it'll rub itself against their legs and mimic purring noises
Okay now we move on to the
Origin:
This is my current headcanon for this AU but as always feel free to share your thoughts/ideas/inputs if you have any <3
Hobie and the symbiote "met" at one of Oscorp's labs
Hobie was living as a homeless teen (13-14 years old having escaped an abusive household a few months prior) and was captured by Oscorp to be used for their symbiote experimentations
Hobie was an easy target as he had just been bitten by the radioactive spider a few hours prior and thus he was starting to suffer from the fever the bite gave him
Hobie was to be fused with a new kind of symbiote
The symbiote had been made to make people more susceptible to orders- making them less inclined to think for themselves
But in order to make that possible the symbiote had been put through some rather painful and extreme experiments- making it more "dead" than alive at this point
When it's fused with Hobie, who's still very sick at this point, the spider bite is still working its magic on Hobie's body and thus it also partially heals the symbiote
Both Hobie and the symbiote are terrified of their situation as they're put in holding cells made specifically for symbiotes.- Their only comfort is each other.
The symbiote takes on the cat like appearance to soothe Hobie after being subjects to a particularly bad experiment
Since Hobie's gotten powers from both the spider bite and the symbiote they quickly become the subjects for many inhumane and painful experiments as the scientists futilely try to figure out how to replicate the symbiote (as they're unaware of the spider bite, thinking the symbiote alone is behind Hobie's new powers)
Due to the symbiote Hobie develops a taste for human flesh
And he gets his first taste of it as he manages to escape the lab during one of their many tests- killing as many guards and scientists on their way out as possible. (This is also the first time they fully transform into Venom!Hobie)
He would later return and burn the lab down completely.
As a result of their treatment at the lab + Hobie's past with his abusive family, both him and the symbiote have developed a deep distrust to other people.
Which is also why Hobie isn't trying to get rid of the symbiote, he considers it his only friend for a long time.
Hobie still loves playing music (which is also how he eventually makes new friends) but has had to make some adjustments due to the symbiote, thus he usually uses both earplugs and noise cancelling earmuffs when he's playing and even then he still gets migraines if he plays for too long or too loud
He still craves human flesh and will usually target cops or anyone associated with Oscorp to sate his hunger.
He doesn't feel bad about killing but will still try not to harm civilians (emphasis on try- sometimes the hunger gets the best of him)
He still operates as Spider-Punk but for a long time he's mostly fueled by his hatred for Oscorp and how they treated him and the symbiote
But as he slowly learns to open up to people he starts to shift his focus onto figting to help people and make the city safer (which means he'll still target cops and Oscorp employees but that's not his only focus anymore) (he also makes an effort to actually save civilians at this point)
Though due to the symbiote and their past this version of Spider-Punk is more prone to just straight up killing his villains (+ he still gotta eat right?)
But I'd like to imagine that this version of Hobie also finds his own community who help him out and accept both him and the symbiote
Giving them kind of a "happy" ending despite this version of Hobie being more messed up and unhinged...
Once again this turned out way longer than I intended lol (I just can't shut up about Venom!Hobie, the brainrot is real!)
Thank you so much for reading!!! <3 <3 <3
(And please let me know if you have any thoughts/inputs/questions about anything I wrote! The brainrot is real and I'll never get tired of talking about this guy)
Also click here if you wanna read more about my Venom!Hobie concept <3
#I'm realising I basically wrote a small fic in the origins section lol#might turn it into a full fic one day? not sure since I kinda spoiled a lot of it here ^^'#will I ever be able to shut up about Venom!Hobie?#no.#I love this guy so much#I could talk about them forever#this was just supposed to just be a short post about the cat symbiote#but I love stuff like this#speculating and coming up with different stories like this is so much fun#especially if they have a lot of ANGST#and yes I know the lab experiment trope has been used a thousand times before but there's a reason behind that!#if it ain't broke don't fix it#also this was the only scenario I could come up with were Hobie would actually bond with his symbiote lol#cause shared trauma <3#but I'd love to hear from you guys if you have other ideas!#please#I wanna talk about my boy <3#also this isn't my official headcanon for Venom!Hobie#just a fun au of my au lol#cause I wanted hobie to have a symbiote cat#and that led to all this#also sorry if there's any spelling mistakes or erros but it's literally almost 2 am here lol#I am TIRED#but I wanted to finish this post before I went to bed so here you are <3#venom!hobie#hobie brown#spider punk#venom hobie#cat symbiote#spider man across the spider verse
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Steph's Year of Recovery
So! Danny noticed that a new face had made it's way into town. Two new faces actually, an older lady known as Dr Leslie, and a girl about his age called Steph.
He first met them when he was at the hospital for one of his parents. They had stood too close to an explosion again, and he met them while he was in the waiting Area.
Dr Leslie was a strict but obviously caring older woman, who seemed to be the one taking care of Steph as a kind of maternal figure, or maybe more like an Aunt. She greeted him simply and then walked away to talk with the Secretary, leaving him to talk to Steph.
Steph was a blond girl in a Wheelchair, and he could see bandages piking out of her clothes as he talked to her. She explained that she had been in an Accident a few weeks ago that left her wheelchair bound for a while, and that she had come to Amity for their surprisingly good Medical Centers.
He and Steph got along really well, and by the end of it he asked her for her Number so they could continue talking later. They stayed in touch, and when she was finally permitted to leave the Hospital, he introduced her to his friends. They all got along like a House on Fire, both figuratively and in one memorable case very literally (Vlad had pissed them off okay!)
Eventually Steph recovered enough that she moved from a Wheelchair to Crutches, and their shenanigans got even more chaotic (Vlad hadn't even pissed them off, this time was just for fun)
The only thing Danny could complain about was the fact that Steph was hiding something from them.
She said that she had been in an Accident a while ago, which was why they had come to Amity in the first place. But Danny knew it was more than that.
He could sense lingering traces of Death coming from her after all.
...
Steph honestly loved her current life.
Sure she had lost everything, her home, her health, her friends, her life, but she had gained new things too! Like Danny and the Gang! They were honestly some of the best friends she had ever had, and for some reason they just clicked with her instantly.
Danny was interesting and funny, Sam was vegan and a badass, Tucker was smart and witty, they all fit with her personality perfectly! It almost felt like she bad been friends with them for years. (She ignored the way her heart skipped a beat when she saw them)
But she still couldn't shake the sense that they were hiding something from her.
She knew it had something to do with the Ghost Problem in the town. And wasn't that a kicker, there was a whole Supernatural Ghost Outbreak in this Town and nobody knew about it. Dr Leslie had said that Amity was off the map enough to hide from Bruce, but she hadn't mentioned it was hidden from the Justice League itself!
Danny, Sam, and Tucker definitely knew more about it than they let on however. Whenever a Ghost Attack would happen, at least one of them would rush off with some practiced excuse and return after the Ghost Attack was over all dirty. She could guess what was going on, and she really didn't like it.
(This had killed her, she had died doing what they were doing, she didn't want to lose them)
Eventually she had to confront them, coincidentally on the same day they decided to confront her.
"Are you Vigilantes?" / "Did you die?"
"..."
"What?" / "What?"
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#Stephanie Brown#Stephanie Browns Death#Steph actually did die to Black Mask#Dr Leslie didn't manage to save her but did manage to bring her back#How she did it is up to you#But because if that Steph needs Physical Therapy and Treatments only found in Amity#Amity is also secluded enough that Batman won't find them there#Steph knows she died but is willfully ignoring it to the point of almost repressing it#Especially because she doesn't know how she came back to life#She doesn't like that her brand new friends are also Vigilantes because being a Vigilante is what got her killed#She doesn't want them to die like she die#She doesn't want to lose her new friends#Trauma#Steph is Traumatized#Also all of them are 17 in this#Stephs age when she died is very vague but 17 is the most reliable middle ground#So the Trio has been Vigilantes for 3 years now#They know what they are doing and have a system so they can share the workload#Sam and Tucker still have their powers#So they can help Danny with the workload#Idk if Steph would develop Powers from the Treatment or her Resurrection but I kind of like the idea#Also yes this is Poly Eternal Trio + Steph cause she deserves happiness#I NEED more Steph Ships cause she deserves more attention
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One of my favorite headcanons that I have is that Reaver was a momma's boy before what happened with Oakvale...happened, lmfaoo. I've had it for so long, I genuinely don't know where exactly it came from or how it started, but if it's like any of my other headcanons then it's just purely based on the vibe he gives off, but like I said, it's one of my favorites lmao. I just love the thought of a little Reaver worshipping the ground his mom walks on, it's sweet...and really sad, when you consider what was probably her fate. I also headcanon his dad was a deadbeat...no particular reason for that one, I just like my characters to suffer, y'know? Reaver having an easy life was just simply never in the cards for me, I fear, loves-
#fable#fable 2#fable 3#fable reaver#late night rambles#most of my reaver headcanons are very personal#so they're probably a bit out there#but i still love them and wish to share them with you all nonetheless#i have a whole list of reaver headcanons in my notes that i wish to share someday soon#most of them are oakvale based too#cause I'm so fascinated by what a pre-trauma reaver could have been like lmao#random but i also handcanon him to have an older sister#like i said#just vibes#lmfaooo
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#vent post#vent blogging#Seven’s Public Diary#motivating myself to study for my driver’s permit by thinking of the Freedom and independence a license would grant me? ❌ 1/10 ineffective#motivating myself to study for my driver’s permit by imagining all the new & different possible ways i could become injured in a car crash?#✅ 7/10 it just might fucking work!!!#the only true cure for OCD is to face one’s fears. but i just might be able to find a loophole via my ever-worsening mental health#because you don’t have to Face your fears if you don’t Have any fears#and in order to rid myself of my fears regarding harm coming to myself. i simply have to stop fearing being harmed#and what better way to stop fearing it than to actively crave it!#or at the very least become so overwhelmed that i lose the capacity to feel any particular way about it#i’ve found a new OCD cure everybody - Just Stop Caring™️ /sarc#well. sarcastic or joking for everyone else. but im serious when it applies to me#bc so much of my anxiety comes from feeling unsafe. so i just have to reach the point where i stop caring if im safe or not. easy peasy#like yes i know this is flawed and unhealthy logic but i’ve resisted more compulsions via this method lately than i have via anything else#and even outside of OCD stuff even just for all my other anxiety disorders it’s also worked. im actually making a modicum of progress now#need to make a scary phone call? just get into a 3-hour family argument and then you’ll be so upset that you don’t feel fear! :)#genuinely worked very well. scared of a home invasion? well at least it’d mean you’d have some different company for once!#you might make a new friend! or if they **** you at least you’d have some Real trauma for once. it’s a win-win honestly …/hj#so. scared to drive? well even if you Do crash at least it might lead to a hospital visit and then you’ll finally get that attention you-#-want so fucking badly! you’ll finally get a break from everything while you recover. or even if you don’t survive- well. i shan’t say.#anyways. the ‘you’ in those tags is me talking to myself for the record. i wouldn’t speak to anyone else like this. i just speak in the-#-wrong tense/person sometimes. don’t know what’s up with that. just another reason i need to stop speaking altogether. as i’ve learned#i’ve been trying So fucking hard to be nice lately. letting them walk all over me. and it’s still not enough. cause i’m always-#-‘using the wrong tone’ and ‘if all im gonna do is say smthn negative i just shouldn’t speak at all’ ..okay! gladly!!!#sorry for being autistic and unsocialized and under immense stress and being unable to keep my ‘tone’ under control. my bad.#i just need to get blackout drunk with Venti at Angel’s Share. that would fix me.#that or heading down to the bottom of the Fortress of Meropide and curl up like a dog under Wriothesley’s desk. head empty no thoughts#not sexually. just. in a pet-regression sense. i can’t stop thinking abt it. i wanna write a oneshot for it but i can’t focus these days#anyways. the delusional maladaptive daydream dissociation will continue until morale improves. and brother it’s only getting worse.
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guys i freaking did it fraeking did self therapy so i could edit this ritsu into the image, ensemble stars CAN be good for your mental health see! This was just so freaking ritsu-core I had to sit down and hardcore speedrun through trying to process some trauma so id stop getting flashbacks during this, its uh, not 100% BUT my flashbacks decreased in severity and frequency enough i could finish the piece without making myself miserable explanation for what i did below
Id do a below the cut thing but i cant figure out how that works so sorry for the long post but i figured i should share it since it provided me relief so freaking fast-? (again im not cured but ...it helped.)
(I sat down, processed my trauma by going over what i learned from my traumatic experience and not shying away from the things i wanted to avoid because well they were making me have flashbacks, carefully going over what i learned from it in detail that allowed me to regain some control over how the situation affected me and how i handle situations going forward and how it changed my view of the world, and then i went over in detail how i would handle it if a similar situation came up and what little i can actually do to prevent it, while also assuring myself that its okay that theres a certain degree of uncertainty but that its a very rare and unlikely thing for that to ever happen let alone multiple times in my life and ill probably never encounter it again, and since i took my brains concerns seriously, it seemed to be more willing to actually let me believe that this time. I feel ...so much better and like a weights been lifted. I cant believe i just freaking did all this becasue i needed to make a meme so bad but honestly im so proud of myself, worth it. definitely reccomend it, I really wish someone had told me sooner that telling yourself what you learned from a situation and making it part of an uplifting narrative and that kind of thing is in fact, what it means to process trauma and that theres actually a definition for that and its not just wait around and hope your brain unfricks itself. i have a lot of work left to do on myself but i feel so much better... thanks to original poster for making a meme so good i had to make my own ver-)
Saw this post and immediately knew I had to make it Ford
(Og post under cut)
#enstars#ensemble stars#mental health#ford#grunkle#gravity falls#sakuma#ritsu sakuma#enstars ritsu#ensemble stars ritsu#flashbacks#ptsd#not diagnosed though so again take this with a grain of salt#tagging it as ptsd in case someone has that blocked for mental health reasons mostly#ive been told it sounds a lot like ptsd but i havent been able to go to a therapist for this whole thing yet#i plan to see one one of these days though i freaking need it#again not a mental health professoinal#but man did this help#id feel guilty not sharing it considering how much it helped me so fast#im frankly worried it might just go back to normal after a while but maybe if i keep working on it itll help#it was based on some stuff i read about online about processing trauma#if you are struggling#i hope you get the help you need and i love you please keep fighting#again i am not saying i have ptsd!!! please do not misunderstand i may have phrased some things funny#all im saying is this helped me and i hope it helps you whatever the cause of your issues are this has helped me with a LOT#and i love everyone and just want everyone to be okay <3#super special thanks to whoever posted this and gave me the random wild burst of motivation to fling myself directly through self care#sorry for attaching this whole thing to your post-#though youll probably nevre see this anyways so-#probably not a big deal?? if it is or it bothers you ill gladly delete it-
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Please don’t skip 🍉🇵🇸
✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #442 )✅️
"I am Khawla from Gaza, 34 years old. I stand before you as a person trying to support her family of 5: Me, my husband, and my three children: Muhammad, who is 5 years old; Sham, who is 3 years old; and Ghazal, who is nearly a year and a half old. In our terrible conditions, My son Muhammad contracted hepatitis from drinking contaminated water, and both he and Sham are deprived of their right to register in kindergarten, daycare, or other educational institutions. Additionally, due to the circumstances and lack of income, necessary benefits like milk are not provided to baby Ghazal.🫂💙🥺
With that, my husband's livelihood ha been completely destroyed since we are no longer entitled to work; and we expect to live under miserable conditions in tents in Mawasi Khan Yunis. It is difficult for me to find the words to describe what we face every day in Gaza; with no food, no medicine, no clean drinking water; with oppression, helplessness, psychological pressures, doubts, and daily traumas caused by everything around us and inability to care for loved ones. the fear of danger, disease and death never leaves us🍉🫶
Now, I find myself in this difficult situation, and humbly ask for your help to save the lives of my family, especially my children, by getting us out of Gaza or helping us have money for medication or other necessities we may have access to. Asking for help is not easy, but we were left with no choice because we want to survive and we strive to rebuild our broken lives. We are very grateful for any help you can provide, no matter how small, as your help will contribute greatly to alleviating our suffering. I hope you will share my story with your family and friends."🍉🍉💙🇵🇸🇵🇸
Donation link⬇️⬇️
paypal.me/KhawlaFunds






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Support the Jad Al Haq family
I've been asked by the family to make this post to help clear up the rumors of fraud surrounding them. All of these campaigns have been vetted by trustworthy sources and I have linked proof of verification for each of them. You may see similar photos and wording in their campaigns, but that is because they are all sisters.
Please share and donate where you can to help the Jad Al Haq family be able to reunite with Doaa in Egypt.
kr85,535 SEK/kr300,000 SEK
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@dodoomar12345 and her son Omar evacuated to Egypt. Omar is autistic and nonverbal, and is suffering from shock and trauma caused by the bombings he and his mother lived through.
Doaa is seeking to get Omar therapy and enroll him in school, but she needs support to cover the expensive weekly fees for his treatment. Her campaign has been vetted by 90-ghost.
$3,694/$5,000
@free-gaza2 is Doaas other account for her second campaign. This fundraiser is to help her purchase the equipment she needs to restart her sewing and embroidery business so she can support herself and Omar. It was also verified by 90-ghost.
$3,481/$65,000
Vetted by 90-ghost
This fundraiser is for 3 of Doaa's sisters: Tahreer, Fidaa, and Aseel. All of them were recently forced to evacuate where they were sheltering and find themselves displaced again. The funds will be used to help them afford necessities and evacuation so they can join Doaa in Egypt.
@tahreer1990 and her husband Ahmed have 4 children: Fatima, Khamees, Sarah, and Ameer. Ameer is a toddler with a broken pelvis and in desperate need of medical care. Khamees also recently underwent a tonsillectomy without proper conditions/medications due to a severe infection.
@fedao and her husband Hashem have 4 children: Dima, Abdullah, Islam, and Duaa. Hashem has an arm injury and needs medical care.
@aseelo680 is a young ambitious English student who is taking care of their elderly parents. Both their mother and father need treatment to help with their medical conditions, but Aseel cannot afford the care they need. Her father also recently suffered a stroke after losing his home, job, and relatives.
Aseel also has a second fundraiser to help with her parents' treatment and evacuation.
$6,693/$20,000
Vetted by 90-ghost
@/ebenrosetaylor is also doing an art raffle for Aseel's fundraiser. You can read the details here.
£7,301/£20,000
246 on the verified fundraiser spreadsheet vetted by nabulsi and el-shab-hussein
@hanaa987 and her husband Muhammad have a 2 year old son named Youssef. Their family has now been displaced more than 6 times. They were recently forced to evacuate Khan Younis and were able to afford another tent thanks to the donations they received, but they still need support so they can afford evacuation.
$6,000/$75,000
Vetted by 90-ghost
@safaa18mero is a law school graduate who dreamed of becoming a lawyer to support her family. She is currently in need of support to afford milk and diapers for her 5 month old son Amir who she gave birth to during this genocide.
$8,022/$40,000
Vetted by 90-ghost
Additional information can be found here
@falestine-yousef and her husband have a 3 month old son named Youssef that Falestine gave birth to during this genocide. She is struggling to provide enough milk, diapers, medicine, and vitamins for her son. She also fears for Youssef's health because of the unsanitary conditions in their camp. The tent they live in is next to a dilapidated public toilet where sewage, dirt and waste is everywhere, putting her family at greater risk of contracting deadly diseases.
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hi! i’m thinking about some angst with a soft fluff ending where the reader and bucky is in their early stages of their relationship. bucky was s h@rass3d in hydra, he was struggling to make physical contact and interactions with the reader but somehow learned what safe touch is 🫶🏻
here's your fic <3
A kind of brave
Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader
Summary: Bucky flinches when you touch him—but you're not in a hurry. Love, in your world, is patient.
Word count: 1.1k+
The writing in italics is a flashback
Warnings and tags: Past trauma and harassment (non-graphic), Flashbacks to Hydra-related abuse, PTSD symptoms (flinching, hypervigilance, difficulty with physical touch), Emotional vulnerability, Hurt/Comfort, Gentle Love, Healing Together, Safe Touch Exploration, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Reader Helps Bucky Heal.
You weren’t expecting anything when it started.
He’d shown up to the Tower quieter than most. Standoffish, unreadable. You'd been assigned as his point of contact—“Ease him in,” they said. “Help him find normal.”
But normal wasn’t easy to come by for someone like Bucky Barnes.
Still, he let you sit with him during shared meals. You’d catch him listening as you told stories about the city or teased Sam across the room. His replies were clipped but thoughtful. He'd nod when you made jokes. Once, you caught him smiling.
Then came the moment that changed things—subtly, but completely.
You were reaching for a mug in the kitchen. He stood beside you. As your fingers brushed his arm—just a touch, featherlight—he flinched.
Not dramatically. Not enough to cause a scene. But enough for your heart to ache.
His shoulders tensed. His breath hitched. He stepped back like the heat of your skin had burned him.
“I’m sorry,” you murmured, pulling your hand back instantly.
He didn’t speak. Just stared at the floor, ashamed of something that wasn’t his fault.
You didn’t bring it up that day. Just gave him space and offered him coffee like nothing happened.
But that moment stayed with you.
So you started paying closer attention
You noticed it in the way he avoided the couch if someone was already sitting. How he always stood at the far edge of the elevator. How his hands stayed buried in his sleeves, even when the sun was warm.
When he smiled, it didn’t quite reach his eyes.
When he laughed, it was careful—like joy was something borrowed.
You adapted without needing to say it aloud. Stood beside him instead of in front. Sat far enough away that he wouldn’t feel cornered. Asked with your eyes before you ever reached out.
He noticed. You knew he did. Because slowly, inch by inch, he started to linger longer. Sit a little closer. Speak a little more.
Trust takes time.
Especially when you’ve been taught the wrong definition of touch.
It always started with the sound.
A low, mechanical click as the restraints slid into place, followed by the sterile whir of lights flickering to life overhead — harsh, clinical, too white. Too clean. A cruel contrast to the filth he was forced to live in.
The chair was metal, ice-cold against his skin no matter how long he was in it. His breath fogged in the air like a ghost trying to escape. But ghosts were free. He wasn’t.
He stopped fighting it years ago — if years even existed down here. Time was meaningless in a place that never changed. No windows. No sky. No sense of day or night. Just missions, control, silence. Then pain.
A man in a lab coat leaned over him, faceless and featureless in Bucky’s mind now. There had been too many. They all smelled the same — antiseptic and cruelty. A hand gripped his chin, tilting his face roughly upward like he was an object being inspected.
“You're not him anymore,” the voice said, clinical, bored. “You don't flinch. You obey.”
But he did flinch — inside, where no one could see. Where it wouldn't earn him another reset.
Another hand came next — this one pressed over his shoulder, firm and too slow to be casual. They wanted him to feel it. They always wanted him to feel it, in the worst ways. Not just pain, but control. Ownership. Submission.
It wasn’t the physical agony that broke him the most. It was how they taught him to dread touch. How something so human became a punishment. They rewired him — so that warmth became threat, closeness became fear, and skin-on-skin was something to survive rather than savor.
There were nights after a mission when they didn’t even have to touch him. They’d just come close. Breathe behind him. Wait for him to flinch.
He always did.
It was a week after a rough mission. Bucky had barely said a word.
You found him on your couch one night, long after the city had gone to sleep. Hoodie sleeves pulled over his hands. Eyes vacant.
You didn’t speak right away. Just offered him tea. Sat beside him—far enough to let him breathe.
Eventually, he said it.
“Do you know what it’s like,” he whispered, “to want to be touched but not know how?”
Your heart cracked. You didn’t rush to fix it.
Instead, you said, “Yeah. I think… I do.”
He turned toward you. “It wasn’t just the fighting. HYDRA—they used touch. Twisted it. Made it mean control. Made me afraid of something I used to love.”
You swallowed. “I’m sorry they did that to you.”
His voice dropped lower. “Sometimes I still feel like a weapon. Even now. When you smile at me. When you sit close. Part of me wants to pull you in. And the other part... is scared I’ll ruin it.”
“You won’t,” you promised. “Not with me."
He asked if he could hold your hand.
His voice shook when he said it.
“Only if you’re sure,” you told him.
“I’m not sure of anything,” he confessed. “But I want to try.”
So you laid your hand between you on the couch. Open. Waiting.
He took it, slow and careful. His fingers hovered before they rested on yours, like he was expecting the world to crack open beneath him.
But it didn’t.
And for the first time, he didn’t flinch.
You squeezed gently. “You’re doing amazing.”
He smiled—small, but real.
He started coming over more.
Sometimes with books. Sometimes with nothing but tired eyes and quiet company.
One night, you found him in the kitchen. He was making tea—two cups. He handed you yours without a word, then hesitated.
“Can I stay tonight?” he asked.
You blinked. “Of course. You want the couch?”
He shook his head. “I want to try… sleeping next to you. If that’s okay.”
You nodded. “It’s more than okay.”
That night, he curled up beside you—nervous but determined. You didn’t reach for him.
But he reached for you.
His fingers brushed yours under the blanket.
Light, hesitant.
You looked over. “This alright?”
He nodded, eyes a little glassy. “Yeah. It’s… nice.”
You didn’t need more than that.
And when you woke the next morning, his arm was loosely around your waist. His breathing soft against the back of your neck. No nightmares. No panic.
Just warmth.
Just safety.
Just him.
He still had bad days. Days when the shadows whispered louder than your voice.
But they passed.
And on the good days, you’d catch him reaching for you without thinking—nudging your foot under the table, brushing your hair behind your ear, linking pinkies as you walked side by side.
He was learning.
And he was loving you, in the way only he could—slow, steady, gentle.
Not perfect.
But real.
And more than enough.
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fanfiction#marvel#tw assault#tw harassment#bucky barnes fluff#marvel fanfiction#bucky barnes angst#sebastian stan x reader#bucky barnes x you#james buchanan barnes#bucky x reader
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IF I WAS A RICH GIRL PT.2 ♡
pairing: bodyguard!jason todd x fem!reader x bodyguard!dick grayson
summary: you, jason, and dick have grown closer in the time since their little competition. now that dick has been officially added to your case, new feelings crop up, and the three of you try to figure out what the next month together will really mean.
cw: nsfw (18+), smut, oral sex (all receiving), fingering, threesome, nightmare, mentions of past trauma + violence, daddy issues
wc: 11.1k
a/n: hii everyone. sorry this took me so long. i'm still not sure how i feel about it, but i'm happy to finally have it out. bear with me because this chapter is leading into the rest of the story, and this will be my first multi-chapter fic. as of now, i have seven parts outlined. all that i ask is that you guys not pressure me between chapters cause that makes me feel really burnt out lol. they'll be out when they're out i promise. anyways reblogs + comments always appreciated <3
part 1
Just as he had one week ago, Dick currently stood in the small elevator cabin watching the numbers above the door light up from left to right. With his car keys in one hand and a bag of takeout in the other, he waited for the now-familiar chime of arrival to ding.
It came only moments later. This trip felt much shorter than the first. He wasn’t buzzing with anticipation or running scenarios through his mind to prepare for what lie ahead. This time around, he knew what waited for him inside the apartment, and it wasn’t anything that caused him anxiety.
The sleek exit parted and allowed him into the penthouse. His keys jingled as he walked through the entrance hall to the double doors at the end. They were open now. From the living room, he could hear some grunting, Jason, and some laughter, you.
He rolled his eyes and shook his head. You two had been going at it when he woke up this morning, and after he joined in, for a couple hours more. He couldn’t even really be irritated that you were still doing it while he was gone. Instead, he just wondered about what kind of super stamina the both of you possessed that made it possible to be rubbing up against each other all this time later.
Though, it wasn’t like this came as a surprise to him. Since the morning of the little competition last weekend, you and Jason fucked like you used to fight. All the time you spent glaring at him and stamping your feet, now found you with your eyes rolled back as you bounced on his cock. Your pouty huffs morphed into giggly smiles and pitchy moans. And Jason’s tense demeanor had melted into the more casual one Dick was familiar with.
This seemed like the best case scenario. Compared to other jobs, this one came closer to being a vacation. Presented with this situation out of context, it would honestly have seemed more like a fever dream to Dick than anything that could have been real. Sharing a girl with Jason wasn’t something he ever really planned on, but it just kind of fell into place here. There weren’t any rules or schedules. The three of you just took it moment by moment, and so far, that worked.
He had no complaints. He still got plenty of time with you too, and he no longer had to play mediator 24/7. It was a bit amusing, how simple the solution to all Jason’s strife really turned out to be. If only he had started with this, maybe he could have saved himself that first week’s worth of headaches.
Dick entered the living room, expecting to catch you bent over the back of the sofa or spread out across the dining table, but he saw no such thing. In fact, he didn’t see you or Jason at all. He almost paused. A quick bolt of worry shot through him. Realistically, he knew the two of you were fine. Jason was more than capable, and he heard your laughter. But after years of protection orders, he still hadn’t found a way to suppress that instinct to find something wrong.
It was only seconds later he spotted you over on the other side of the room beyond the end of the couch. Your head popped up and down into his line of sight. Relief coursed through him in a rush. Crossing the wooden floor, he walked a few paces closer to see what was happening.
And he did find you on top of Jason, just not in the way he anticipated. Instead, you were parked on the younger man’s back while his body rose and fell in a set of push-ups. A grunt slipped from his lips with every flex of his biceps. From behind, you played with his hair. He’d been going at this a while if the sweat trickling down his temple and staining the collar of his t-shirt were any indicators.
“Hey, you two. Whenever you feel like getting off the floor, I brought your food,” Dick said, raising the plastic bag and giving it a light shake.
Your head zipped in his direction, eyes sparkling impossibly brighter at the mention of your dinner’s arrival. You hopped up off the muscular back supporting you. Despite wearing a cute, pink workout set, not a drop of sweat coated your skin.
Jason, meanwhile, rolled over with a quiet groan. He ran a hand over his face to wipe some of the perspiration away. “Be there in a second.”
You pranced up to Dick and wrapped him an excited hug. After nuzzling into his chest for a second, you tilted your head upwards.
“Did you get the extra rangoons?” you asked, batting your lashes at him as if there was any way he could have forgotten your special request that you’d repeated at least ten times before he left.
“Of course. Think I would’ve left the car keys behind before driving away without your rangoons,” he teased.
With a small cheer, you swiped the bag from his hand and headed in the direction of the kitchen to deal out the food.
“Wow, not even a thank you?” Dick called after you while trailing behind.
“Thank you, Dick!” you chirped.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, coming up beside you at the marble countertop. Red containers appeared one by one across the sleek surface as you unloaded them from the bag. Leaning in, he planted a gentle kiss on your cheekbone. “Bodyguards, workout partners, takeout delivery, and now teaching you manners? You got us working a tall order here, babe,” he murmured.
“I didn’t ask for all that. I think you guys just like doing extra stuff for me cause you know I make it worth your while,” you shrugged with a little smirk on your face as you placed the last box of noodles on the island.
Your haughty display was fast interrupted though as two thick arms snuck around your waist, lifting you off the ground. You squealed as Jason twisted around and placed you out of the way of the meals.
“Did I hear you say you don’t ask for any of that stuff? What were you doing earlier then?” he mocked as he stepped up to the counter and popped open a small container.
“Hey!” you pouted, trying to shove him over so you could have access to all the food again. Your feet slid on the smooth floor as you floundered against him. It took Jason literally no effort to resist your pushing. His large frame did the job all on its own. “I didn’t ask you for anything. You just wanted me on top of you.”
“Mhm, sure. I must have imagined every time you said ‘Jason, what are you doing?’ ‘Jason, I’m bored,’ ‘Jason, let me help,’” Jason imitated before shoveling a forkful of garlic-glazed beef into his mouth
You huffed and circled around to the other side of the counter to grab your bag of rangoons. “Whatever. I still didn’t ask you for anything,” you grumbled.
“Did you really need to when you took the initiative and just climbed on my back?” he mocked.
You scoffed, but both of them could see hints of a smile pulling at your lips. Since you’d become closer to them, winning or losing a minor argument didn’t have an effect on your mood. It was the mere attention that got you going.
In the midst of your back and forth, Dick grabbed the now-empty takeout bag. The plastic crinkled as he crumpled it between his hands on the way to the trash.
Jason glanced over at him. “How’d the meeting go?” he asked, playfulness fading from his expression as work became the topic of conversation.
“Good,” he nodded, reaching for a small box of his own, “We’re all set. We’ll both be assigned here for the remaining four weeks.”
“You managed to convince the old man she needs two people on babysitting duty? How’d you pull that off?” Jason asked with a raised brow.
“You’ll really both get to stay here?” you asked from your side of the island. Your eyes gleamed with hope rather than excitement, as if you still couldn’t believe it was true.
Dick answered you first with another nod before responding to Jason. “I just explained that given her eventful social life and… willful temperament, it would be more convenient on our end to have two people on her case.”
“And he believed you? He didn’t get suspicious?” you checked.
“I think he bought it. He really didn’t ask anything that gave the impression he thought something was off,” he reassured.
To his relief, you, like your father, didn’t question his vague statements either. If you did, he’d have to figure out how to dance around the exact details of the conversation. He wasn’t really eager to rehash how your own flesh and blood spoke about you.
He thought before arriving at the Senator elect’s office that this would be an uphill battle. Those who didn’t want to use the word controlling would describe your father as protective, but no one would call the man stupid. He knew the reality of this situation just as well as Dick and Jason. There was no party in this arrangement who believed you were in real danger. So why on Earth would he agree that you needed two full-time guards when the one you already had barely did enough to justify his presence?
But the silver-haired man greeted Dick with an election-winning smile and firm handshake. He nodded along to each piece of what he said about you, as if he was absorbing every word like it was law. And when Dick reached the part about your aforementioned attitude and packed schedule, it went off without a hitch.
He eased into it, starting tentatively and bracing for pushback. “She’s adjusting now. Her and my partner are getting along, and we haven’t had any other issues since those first couple days, which is normal. Everyone takes a bit to get used to a second shadow,” he said in an attempt to keep things light. “I was only thinking she might benefit from having a detail of two since she has a few events to attend over the next few weeks and she can be… very set in her ways.”
Your father chuckled while leaning back in his leather chair. “Oh, you don’t have to sugarcoat it. I know how she can be. I love my daughter, but there’s a reason she doesn’t live with me anymore.”
Dick blinked in response at first. Logic would point to the fact that you were an adult aged into her twenties as a potential reason you might live alone. However, he figured that defending you would have aroused suspicion, so he kept his mouth shut, smirking and nodding in agreement.
“Yeah, uh… she’s something else.”
Your father nodded with a knowing laugh. “She knows how to bitch and moan till she gets exactly what she wants better than just about anyone. Think she learned it from her mother,” he sighed in a way that almost sounded fond. “You’re the expert, so if you think you need two guys to deal with her, have at it. You won’t hear any complaints out of me.”
Two guys to deal with her. Have at it.
If only he knew.
You pulled him out of the recollection with a bright smile. “Oh my gosh, this is great!” you cheered. “This is like the nicest thing he’s ever done for me. Not that he knows it. If he did, he probably woulda said no.”
Jason moved on too, going right along with your happy mood. “Great, huh? This the same girl who was doing everything she could to get me out of here just last week?”
“Yes. You’re the one who’s different. You’re someone I actually like having around now. Kinda,” you responded with a coy eyes.
For whatever reason, Dick just couldn’t share the same playful attitude. This was probably the one time in their lives that Jason had him beat on the front of being pleasant. He couldn’t pin down the exact cause, but seeing you now, with your sweet little smiles and muffled laughs after hearing someone who was supposed to protect you paint you as nothing more than an airhead, dug a dent of sadness into his normal nonchalant temperament. He knew your father wasn’t winning any awards for his parenting. However, bearing witness to his casual dismissal struck deeper than he expected.
But you and Jason continued to banter back and forth without a care in the world, so he tried to appear lighthearted for the remainder of dinner.
The three of you talked and ate in the way that had become routine after only a week. Things weren’t tense and argumentative anymore. Now that frustrations had been dealt with, it was easy to riff with one another about music you liked or movies you hated. They’d tell you the occasional story about an old case while you divulged past drama.
After the supply of food across the counter began to dwindle, the three of you worked in tandem to clear away the trash and put away any leftovers. With their help, the surface was clear in no time. You leaned back against the island, your palms flat on the smooth surface with your shoulders angled outwards.
“So…” you started, mischief swirling in your eyes as you looked between them. “What do you guys wanna do now?”
It was no secret what you were after. Your stance gave the two of them a nice view of your cleavage in that tight workout top. And how you looked between them through your lashes left no question about what kind of activities you were hoping would come next.
Jason shook his head. His face held a similar sense of trouble, only it lacked the lustful charge that motivated your own. “I don’t know about you two, but I’m gonna take a quick shower before anything else,” he said, already stepping in the direction of the stairs.
A scoff came from your lips. “What? No fun,” you said and started after him. “At least let us join…”
You reached out to touch his bicep, but Jason’s larger hand grabbed your wrist, preventing you.
“Your shower’s big but not enough for three people,” he said. “Plus, you got a bad case of wandering hands, princess. I want a quick shower. If I let you come with me, we’ll be in there till we’re both waterlogged .”
“But-” you started, your voice already getting a tad whiny.
He clicked his tongue at you, hushing you like an owner would do to their pet’s whines. “You’ve been with me all day. I’m sure Dick can take care of you for a little bit,” he said.
It was a gentle rebuff, but it was sincere. You tried one last attempt at pouting to no avail. He let go of your arm and headed off.
Your sad puffy lips tightened into a more resigned line. You were clearly intent on remaining unaffected. Only a beat passed before you turned and pranced over to Dick.
“He’s no fun,” you said as you snuck your arms around his waist for a hug.
You could be so touchy, but that wasn’t a problem for him. One of his arms slung across your shoulders while his other hand rubbed the curved space just above your ass.
“Sorry you have to stick with your second choice,” he said with a small pinch to your waist.
He meant it as a joke and nothing more. Even though you had been a bit clingier to Jason as of late, he felt no jealousy over it. It was understandable, chasing after the one who made a chase necessary. But if your face was any indication, the teasing nature of the words didn’t fully come across.
You tilted your head upwards, looking at him with a hint of real concern woven into your furrowed brows.
“You’re not my second choice,” you corrected. “I don’t have a favorite or anything. I like both you guys equally. I just know you’ll hang out with me if I want, so I don’t have to ask.”
Your arms curled around him tighter like a pair of hungry vipers. You put your head against his chest again, right over his heart. His hand continued its gentle motions on your back while he looked down at you. He was content to leave your explanation as it was, but he could feel the unsaid words prodding at you, almost nudging at him by extension.
“I was just joking, babe. Promise,” he said and planted a kiss on the top of your head.
You glanced up at him once more. “…I just don’t want you guys to like… feel like it’s a competition or anything. I like both of you a lot, and I don’t wanna mess this up.”
“You’re not messing anything up,” he reassured without thinking about it. You seemed oddly vulnerable about this, and after earlier, he didn’t want you to have any reason to feel insecure with them. He pressed you right up against him and squeezed your shoulder. “I was just making a stupid joke. If I had a real problem, I wouldn’t be holding you like this, alright?” He smiled a little to further his point.
“Alright…” you said, nodding against his chest.
He pecked your forehead as if to punctuate the words. “Good. No more worrying about anything like that. Let’s go find something to do while he’s showering. I’m sure when he’s done he’ll be sniffing around you again.”
You smiled back at that. Rising onto your tiptoes, you stole a quick kiss from him before dropping your hand to grab his and pull him in the direction of the stairs.
“Oh my goshhhh. He’s taking FOREVER in there,” you called out, saying the last bit loud enough so that it’d be audible through the bathroom door.
For someone who claimed they wanted a “quick” shower, Jason was taking his sweet time in your bathroom. At least by your standards anyways.
Your bedroom ended up being the place for you and Dick to hang out while waiting for the third member of your trio. You preferred it for obvious reasons, but clearly so did Jason since he chose to freshen up in the ensuite rather than the bathroom down the hall.
Dick didn’t mind it either. It was the largest of the three bedrooms. The windows had the best view, showing off how the nearby river twinkled under the sunset. And at night, anyone inside got a good look at the sparkling skyline. The bed was the softest and the biggest, but best of all, it was totally yours.
Objectively, the other two were comfortable, but in here, everything smelled like you. Every surface was your favorite color. He could almost imagine you picking out each fine detail. Stepping into this room felt like stepping into a little world of your creation.
His eyes drifted around it now. After the conversation with your father earlier, he could almost see it in a new light. Everything from the elegant curtains to your glamorous vanity in the corner said you didn’t pay for it on your own. He wondered if you had to “bitch and moan” to get it the way you wanted. Or maybe you picked things based on what you thought would be acceptable. Or perhaps because it was something that brought you joy, he wasn’t involved at all.
A little huff from you brought him out of his thoughts.
“What’s he doing in there? Shaving his legs?” you grumbled, sinking back into the mountain of plush pillows behind your head. You crossed your arms and kept your eyes on the TV ahead. It played a random episode of one of your favorite shows, just something meant to be background noise.
Dick chuckled at your persistent impatience and snuck an arm around your shoulders. “You know, I doubt letting him hear how riled up waiting makes you is going to convince him to go faster. As much as you’ve gotten him to soften up, he still likes to annoy you,” he teased.
He kept you tucked to his side, his fingers running up and down the smooth skin of your thigh. You had changed out of your tight workout clothes in favor of something looser to relax in. While not as form fitting, the tiny pajamas you chose left just as much of you exposed to his eyes. His digits danced with the hem of your shorts every time they brushed the silky fabric.
“I bet he’s jerking off in there,” you said suddenly, ignoring Dick’s statement completely. You glanced at him and then back at the bathroom door. Your eyes bore into the white wood like the mere possibility had insulted you personally.
He laughed and shook his head. “I don’t think he’s wasting time with his hand when you’re out here,” he said.
“Maybe… Or he’s doing it just to spite me,” you said, feigned accusation still present in your words.
Dick’s gaze lingered on you even after you’d settled into reluctant patience again. You met his stare with a questioning look. “What?” you asked.
He blinked, batting those lashes across his pretty blue irises. “What?” he said back.
Narrowing your eyes, you poked his cheek. “You’re being weird. You’re all quiet and staring… It’s suspicious.”
“Maybe I was just looking at how cute you are right now, all puffed up cause you can’t be patient,” he grinned.
You rolled your eyes and leaned into him a bit more, as if he could provide relief from getting flustered. “Nuh uh. I look cute all the time, so that’s not it,” you said. “You just look like something’s bothering you.”
“Nothing’s bothering me. I’m fine,” he reassured you.
“Are you sure?” you asked, clearly not satisfied. Then it was as if two little wires connected in your head. “It’s nothing about earlier, is it? My dad didn’t tell you something stupid or embarrassing and scare you off, did he?”
He shook his head with a breathy husk of a laugh. “No, nothing like that,” he denied. With how close you were to hitting the mark, he could only wonder how long ago it happened before.
“Ok... just… You know you could tell me if something was wrong. Even if it wasn’t about work or whatever. I know we’re not like friends… and we haven’t known each other that long. But you could always talk to me about real stuff if you ever needed to,” you offered.
“I know that. But I swear, nothing’s up, alright? Do you ever have one of those days where you feel more stuck in your head than usual? I think it’s just one of those,” he said with a kind smile.
You nodded, willing yourself to accept the answer. “Jason must be having one of those too. He’s been gone for like forever and a half.”
“He probably just needs a moment of peace. You are pretty insatiable, and you’ve been all over him all day, climbing on his back and grabbing his arm,” he murmured with a couple playful squeezes to your own side and arm.
Your body twitched and squirmed in response to the little grabs. The sight drew a huffed laugh from him. He’d never met someone as responsive as you. Your body would light up from a few of the most simple touches.
“I’m not worse than you guys. You both are ready to go like all the time,” you said and slid your hand into his lap, trying to find a bulge.
“There’s a difference between being ready to go and being the one who instigates,” he said, grabbing your wrist and moving your hand onto his abs instead.
You didn’t resist the adjustment. Your fingers traced the rigid muscles in his stomach. You’d felt them so many times already, seen them just as much, but they still brought you a sense of wonder. Both of their bodies did. Before them, you had limited experience, and none of it took place with people who resembled divine beings so closely.
He chuckled at the look in your eyes. “You’re too easy, baby.”
Your cheeks heated up. You tried pulling your arm back to shove his head, but he kept it right where it was.
“It’s ok. You know Jay and I think it’s cute,” he said, continuing to gently mock.
He pecked your cheek, smugness found in his every feature. Leaning in closer, he laid a few soft kisses on your throat. Your breath hitched before you tilted your head to allow him more room. The near-instant compliance with his touch had him grinning against your neck. Even while being stubborn, you wouldn’t deny yourself any attention. And to be honest, he couldn’t see himself ever in a situation where he’d withhold it from you.
He took a deep breath, letting his lungs fill with your air. His arms tightened as his mouth parted and closed against your sensitive skin. The tip of his tongue swirled around your pulse point in the way he had come to learn you liked. Your hand pressed down on his abs a little harder just as a tiny moan escaped you.
In the same way that his body put you in awe, you cast a spell totally your own over him. Being so close felt like willfully submerging himself in aphrodisiacal quicksand. You were so soft and so warm under his hands, your flesh so malleable, practically hypnotizing to grope.
His palms glided over you with reverence. They moved slowly, but with enough pressure to exemplify his growing desire. You writhed under his hands as they smoothed from your back to your hips, over your ass and then down to your thighs.
You allowed your own hand to go lax on his torso, slowly bringing it further South. The place you’d searched for a bulge before rewarded you with one now. You could feel the semi-hard outline under your fingers.
He hissed at the lazy rubs you gave it through his pants. “Always so eager for more,” he mumbled.
While he was still very much wrapped up in the feeling of you, going further tempted him just as much. He dropped one of his hands to the elastic waistband of your shorts and shoved it underneath. His fingers ducked below your panties next with the same precision. The middle one slotted between your puffy lips, seeking out your clit.
Already, you’d started to get a little wet. Dick dragged the pad of his digit through the collecting slick, relishing the clicking sound that came with it. His finger then ventured back to your little bundle of nerves. He gave it a few rubs to which your hips jerked and a whine spilled out of you.
Then the bathroom door opened. Neither one of you had even heard the shower turn off while distracted with each other. Steam poured out into the bedroom. Along with it came Jason. He stepped out, baby pink towel low around his hips, stray beads of water trickling over his scars down to his v-line. His eyes immediately landed on the two of you.
“See? So needy before, but I knew you’d have fun with Dick just fine,” Jason said. He shook his hair like a wet dog before advancing further into your room.
“Shut up. You took too long,” you whimpered, rolling your hips into Dick’s hand.
“You think so? You should’ve said something. I could hear you complaining through the door, but I don’t think it got the point across all the way,” he mocked.
He headed over to the door leading back out into the hall, and suddenly, all traces of your attitude vanished. “Wha- Where are you going?” you asked, turning your head to give him puppy eyes. Dick took advantage of the new angle and attacked your neck with his mouth again.
“Where do you think?” he asked.
Of course, you knew where he was headed - down the walkway and into the guest room with his duffel bag. Most of Dick’s stuff had migrated to your bedroom, but Jason still kept his separate. It really didn’t matter to you though; here or there, you did not want him getting dressed either way.
“Nooooo,” you whined, reaching out towards him with one grabby hand. “Don’t put clothes on.”
He almost laughed at your little display. A smile settled on his lips, and he took a few steps back in the direction of the bed. His pupils scanned over your body again, taking in the way your back arched and your heels slid against the blankets. He watched the outline of Dick’s hand pump beneath your shorts.
“I don’t know… I think Dick’s got you covered, sweetheart. Doesn’t look like you need anyone else,” he taunted, running a hand over your head.
“Need you,” you said, whimpering as Dick rubbed a little star onto your clit. “Need both of you.”
“Greedy,” Jason tutted. But he didn’t stop petting your head.
“Nuh uh,” you denied. Your gaze fell down his body, specifically to his waist where that towel remained tucked around him. It would be so easy to reach out and just…
“No?” he said and cupped your jaw, directing your eyes back to his own. “You don’t think you’re acting spoiled?”
You shook your head before looking down at his stomach again. This time you couldn’t help yourself. You extended your arm, hooking your index and middle finger over the fluffy edge of the towel. It barely took any force to tug it free.
The plush fabric vanished, pooling around his feet. Now, at your eye level, his cock hung, thick and heavy. Your pupils all but morphed into little hearts while staring at it.
He didn’t stop you from grabbing the shaft. Your fingers curled around his length and gave it a gentle tug, beckoning him closer to the mattress. For once, he went along with your desire free of protest. He boosted himself up a bit with one knee on the foamy surface. You continued stroking in time with Dick’s fingers caressing your pussy.
His cock rose to life between your digits. It grew stiffer with every twist of your hand or swipe of your thumb over the tip. You watched in amazement as you did every time, and he watched you. Something deep inside of him went wild for that innocuous fascination that would come over your face in moments like these. Jason was well aware that you weren’t a saint by any means, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to corrupt you.
On the other side of your body, Dick’s head popped up from the crook of your neck, looking up at him with lidded eyes. “Would there even be a point in putting your clothes on when she’s gonna pull ‘em off as soon as you get back?” he joked.
You didn’t even register the little joke or how Jason responded because you were so laser focused on giving him a hand job. Your own movements nearly hypnotized you. With every flick of your wrist, desire gnawed at you, begging you to get more. To take more.
“Can I suck on it?” you asked abruptly.
Jason’s hand paused on your head. He looked down at you again, taking in your dilated pupils and parted lips.
“You want me in your mouth?” he checked.
You nodded.
“Do you think you deserve me in your mouth?” he asked next.
Exasperated, you whined. “Jasonnnnnnn. Come on.” You stuck your lip out to add to your plea.
“Alright, hush,” he said, sweeping his hand around to cup your jaw. “No whining. If you want it so bad, then open up.”
The rough pad of his thumb pressed down on your bottom lip, coaxing your mouth into a cute little o. His cock throbbed as you looked up at him so sweetly. Your lashes fluttered against your cheeks, and your lids drooped slightly under the weight of your lust.
He shifted his hips forward to guide his length to your awaiting orifice. You tried to reciprocate, leaning towards him as much as you could while still Dick’s grasp.
“Ah ah, lay your head back and let me give it to you. You’ll crane your neck otherwise,” he grunted.
Shockingly enough, you obeyed without issue. You sunk back in Dick’s direction, allowing the pillow behind you to support your head. Jason continued on. His tip nudged the seam of your lips. Droplets of precum smeared on the plump skin.
It took no force to push into the wet warmth of your mouth. Your saliva coated his length, making the shaft shimmer as it slid in and out of your mouth. He could feel your tongue lazily flicking and laving against him. It was cute. Such small efforts as you laid there for him to use.
Dick continued rubbing your clit beneath your shorts, but as Jason found his rhythm with shallow thrusts, he maneuvered his fingers around to prod at your entrance instead. The slender digits applied some light pressure before slipping inside. A mewl erupted from you around Jason’s cock, but your body didn’t protest or try to shut him out. You remained lax with the sensations, allowing him to fuck two between your pulsing walls with ease.
He kissed underneath your earlobe. “Such a good girl, sweetheart. Just relax for me. We’ll keep you all filled up,” he whispered.
You whimpered at the electricity his hushed voice sent down your spine. It was all so overwhelming in the best way. You were full of them in every sense of the matter. Not only were they inside you, but they claimed each of your senses as well. Dick’s lilted voice crooned in your ear while Jason’s scent clouded your nose. You got the taste of him all over your tongue as every nerve ending on your body lit up for them.
All of it made your head spin. Your eyes drooped, and your jaw got a little lazy. Before you knew it, Jason was squeezing your cheeks to grab your attention.
“Keep it nice and wide for me, little brat. Don’t want your teeth scraping me up,” he teased.
“Sorry…” you tried to say, but with a mouthful of cock, it just came out garbled and incoherent.
However, the need to apologize fled your mind fast. The creeping sensation of release replaced it. It started to simmer as Dick curled his fingers within you, finding that sweet spot you never reached on your own.
Your hips started to quake. You rocked up and down in a desperate search for release. They both chuckled as they saw it, knowing all your signs by now.
“Are you almost there, pretty girl?” Dick cooed.
“Mhm,” you whined around Jason.
“Yeah? You wanna cum?” he goaded, coaxing you further along.
“Mhm,” you said again; this time louder, more desperate.
His fingers kept thrusting into you. Wet squelches echoed from between your thighs as your peak got closer and closer. You could see it just in front of you, within reach, the sweet, shimmery heat already lapping at you. But just as your body got ready for the final ascent, Dick pulled his digits out.
You bursted with displeased whines and agitated whimpers. In a second, you backed off Jason’s cock so you could grab at Dick’s arm.
“Whyyyy?” you pouted, trying to glare at him. Though, with your eyes all glazed from pleasure, it didn’t come off as any kind of intimidating.
“What?” he laughed, bringing his fingers to his mouth. He slid them inside and sucked them clean while maintaining eye contact with you all the while. “You know you’re still gonna get to cum. You just make it too fun to tease you,” he said once he’d pulled them back out.
The explanation did little to quell your discontent, but before you could voice any of it, a hand wrapped around your ankle and tugged you downwards on the mattress.
Jason had walked around towards the foot of the bed in the midst of your distraction. He crawled over your legs towards the rest of your body, caressing up your calves as he went. His thumb hooked under the hem of your shirt to boost it up. As he moved, his head ducked down to lay some kisses along your belly.
“Have we left you unsatisfied so far, sweetheart?” he asked, gazing up at you through his lashes.
It was a leading question. Of course, the answer that came from your lips was a soft “no.”
“Exactly. So quit whining. You know Dick and I are gonna take care of you.”
His fingers looped over the waistband of your bottoms next. He yanked them off your legs. Tossing them to the side without a second thought. You watched his movements carefully, having a pretty good idea where he was headed. It just wasn’t something you were used to quite yet.
“Lemme return the favor for you, princess. While I’m doing that, you can do the same for Dick.”
“For what? Not letting me finish?” you huffed.
The fingers belonging to the man in questions landed on your forehead and nudged you back, putting your skull flat on the mattress. He smiled down at you stroking your cheek.
“No one can ever say you don’t know how to hold a grudge,” he teased.
A little scowl curled on your lips. At the same time, Jason got in position between your legs. You felt his hand cup one of your thighs then the other, placing each on either one of his shoulders.
There was really no time to brace yourself before he dove in. In seconds, that petty expression was gone, wiped clean by parted lips and furrowed brows. Your back curled inward, your body coiling in response to the sudden burst of stimulation down there. Dick watched. It was obvious from the look in his pretty blue eyes that he greatly enjoyed seeing the moment the pleasure took you.
“No, she wants people to think she can hold a grudge, but she’s not as tough as she lets on,” Jason taunted, sounding almost affectionate.
That was the last you heard out of him. Before you had the chance to go back and forth, his lips were on your pussy again. He flicked his tongue over your clit, back and forth, back and forth in quick succession. Your hips bucked while your legs flailed fruitlessly, but Jason was more than strong enough to keep you in place.
A broken whine trickled from your lips. Your heels dug into the firm muscles that spanned over his back. You figured he liked it. The harder you pressed, the more fervor he seemed to have with his mouth.
Beside you, Dick shimmied down his pants and pulled them free. His cock was hard, more than ready for some attention. He gave it a few tugs. Just simple jerks of his hand to the sight of you unraveling under Jason’s skillful ministrations.
As you squirmed, your head tilted in his direction. Your eyes fell on the veiny shaft before you. You remembered what Jason had said. To take care of Dick while he took care of you.
“You ready for me, baby?” he checked, voice hushed as he pet his free hand over your head.
You nodded and opened your mouth into the same shape you had before. He did the work for you just like Jason did. Angling his hips, he tapped his tip against the corner of your mouth before pushing it in. Like usual, he was more gentle than Jason. Despite it being the same action, he handled you with more care.
He got just as much pleasure though. A hearty groan came out of him as you started to suckle on the tip. Your eyes fluttered shut. Having something in your mouth gave your attention somewhere else to go. It acted as a distraction from the bursting bliss between your thighs.
You couldn’t see it, but Jason’s eyes flitted up to your face. He watched you take Dick’s cock while his tongue drew mini figure-eights from the bottom of your slit to your cute little bundle of nerves above. Something close to obsession danced at the center of his green irises. When you weren’t looking, he didn’t bother trying to hide it.
Little whimpers still squeaked from your mouth around Dick, but Jason wanted more. Tiny sounds he had to strain his ears to hear weren’t enough. He stopped licking at you, stopped grazing his tongue across your clit. Instead, he maneuvered the wet muscle lower. He prodded it at your opening and sunk it into you. That got a nice, low moan out of you.
He fucked his tongue in and out, pressing it against your silken walls as you pressed your own against the tender ridge of Dick’s cock. He was hissing too then. The three of you created a chorus of ecstasy, a neverending feedback loop of hissing and squirming.
Jason ground his hips against the mattress as you rolled yours towards his face. He was still holding you down, but your movements got him off. Seeing how desperate you could get, how eager you were to writhe into the pleasure, it had him leaking sticky white pre onto your pretty, pristine sheets.
You could feel that burning hot peak building up inside you again. Your toes curled, and your back started to arch. You knew Dick was getting close too from the way he was panting. That and how his hips were starting to jolt forward a little more frequently.
Jason pulled his tongue out of your slick hole and put his mouth on your clit again. He wrapped his lips around the tiny bud, giving it a harsh suck. You yelped around Dick’s cock. Your whole body jerked, and your head snapped back, his saliva-coated length falling from your mouth.
“J-Jay,” you whimpered. Your hand flew down to grab at his damp hair.
He didn’t answer with words, but the feeling of your digits against his scalp got a groan out of him. His tongue continued to dance over your soaked folds. With everything he had, he worked to bring you to the edge. His fingers dug into the plush of your thighs hard, almost bracing himself as he humped the blanket under him.
Gentle as ever, Dick guided your head back in his direction so he could slip his cock between your lips again. You accepted it happily, sucking it like you had been before being interrupted. Your lips rested right against the ridge. Every little vibration from your squeaks of pleasure reverberated through him.
Those small buzzes were enough to get him to the finish. Dick came first. He sighed and tilted his head back. His hand pressed on your head, keeping you close as his shaft twitched against your tongue. Warm spurts of cum bursted into your mouth, and you had no problem swallowing all that he gave.
In the midst of Dick’s release, you hit your high as well. Just as his was coming to end, you felt something snap inside of you. A loud whine bubbled up inside your chest and left your mouth as you slowly eased off. Waves of bliss coursed through you, your body rolling in trembling waves.
Your thighs squeezed around Jason’s head, and that was when he lost it.
He continued to devour you through it, not pulling away as euphoria surged through him. You cried out when overstimulation began to set in. Your hands weakly pushed at his head.
In a rare reversal, he listened to you. He pulled back from the junction of your thighs, departing with one final kiss to your clit. His jaw shimmered with remnants of your arousal.
You couldn’t help the way your eyes raked over him. Your small pupils drank in every detail. His tousled hair, his lidded eyes, his puffing chest, his softening cock between those thick thighs… But as your vision drifted down, your gaze landed on the mess he’d left on the plush fabric of one of your blankets.
Sitting up quickly, you grabbed it as if to inspect the sticky patch. “Jason,” you whined, accompanied by a glare.
He snatched it back. “Zip it,” he hushed as he climbed off the bed. “I’ll put it in the wash. It’ll be fine. And if not, I’m sure you can afford a new one.”
You narrowed your eyes at the tight-lipped, mocking smile he gave you. “I can, but I don’t want to. That one’s like the best.”
“Then I guess you’d just have to find better than the best,” he replied before stepping out of your bedroom.
A pouty huff came from your lips, but your eyes lingered on the door. You weren’t actually mad, of course. The wash would get the mess out, and even if it didn’t, what he said was true. You were more concerned with trying to figure out whether or not he was coming back.
On your other side, the mattress lifted with the absence of Dick’s weight. He rose from the bed and stretched his limbs out. Your head snapped in his direction, your hand reaching for his wrist.
“Where are you going?” you asked with a little pout.
He eyed you curiously. “I’ll be right back. I’m going to take a leak - if that’s alright with you.”
Your grip on him loosened as you realized you should probably reign these feelings back in. “I just was wondering like if you were coming back, or if you wanted to do something else.”
“Like?” he asked.
“I just didn’t… want you to feel pressured to like stay in here or anything. I know we all mess around and stuff, but you guys can still sleep in your own rooms if you ever want to,” you said.
His eyes narrowed. He leaned in a little, cupping your chin to direct your eye line. “Would you want us to sleep in the other rooms? Are you getting sick of sharing your bed?”
“No…”
“Do you think I want to sleep in the other room?” he asked.
That prompted a longer pause than the other two questions, but after a few seconds, you shook your head.
“Ok then. No need to worry about it. No one’s annoyed with you. If Jason or I wanted to sleep in the other rooms, we’d tell you that,” he said, leaning down to peck your lips.
With that, he walked off to the bathroom and nudged the door shut behind him. In their collective absence, you dragged yourself out of bed. You took the brief period of free time to put yourself back together and get the bed in order again.
Just as you finished putting your pillow into place, Jason strolled into the room. Without a care for all the organization you’d just done, he came over and flopped down onto your mattress. The blankets wrinkled to his shape, and the pillow you just placed toppled over. You pursed your lips in response before hopping up too and lightly slapping his bicep.
“That’s two times you’ve messed up my bed tonight,” you huffed.
His lips spread into a grin. In a flash, his arms looped around your waist as he playfully wrestled you down onto the mattress. You squirmed around, acting as if you were putting up a fight, but only a matter of seconds had gone by before he had you pinned.
Looking up at him now, you almost forgot the man you met on that first day. His green eyes appeared so much softer. His features seemed way more relaxed. He looked as unbothered as Dick sounded. Maybe you didn’t need to worry.
“We could mess it up again, you know. Maybe before Dick even comes back. I can be fast,” he teased, pecking your cheeks.
“Not fast enough,” Dick’s smooth voice cut in from behind.
That made you smile a little bit. The bathroom door clicked shut again, following it came the soft padding of his feet across the carpet. You brushed your fingertips across Jason’s cheekbone before nudging him off you.
He rolled to one side of your bed while Dick settled on the other. This was how it went most nights. You squished in the middle of their two muscular bodies.
Shifting around a bit, you grabbed the remote. Your head leaned onto Dick’s bicep while your leg overlapped with Jason’s. You could already feel sleepiness creeping up on you, but there was one more thing to decide before letting yourself drift off. Really the only thing that still caused arguments as of late.
“So… Do you guys wanna watch something?”
A few hours later, the tv was still on, broadcasting flickering patterns of light across your bedroom walls. The volume stayed low, the words of the characters on screen inaudible. Not that it mattered. You, Jason, and Dick were all fast asleep by now.
Each of you laid in the positions that had become normal to you now. Dick slept supine with one arm up, you curled into his chest, and Jason latched onto your smaller frame from behind.
The first time this happened it was almost overwhelming to you. You��d spent the vast majority of your nights up until this point alone. The one boyfriend you had in adolescence had never been allowed to sleepover, and the few flings here and there didn’t bother to really spend the night. You were used to the spacious loneliness that came with the mattresses thrice your size.
But since Dick and Jason had taken up residence with you and divided your king sized bed into three sectors, you didn’t think you could ever go back. Without Dick’s strong heartbeat thumping below your ear, something would feel missing. The absence of soft puffs of Jason’s breath against the back of your neck would leave you cold. In only a handful of nights, you’d become acclimated to sleeping with tangled limbs and limited moving room.
Besides the barely audible chatter of the television, your bedroom was always silent at night. The penthouse was so high up, the sounds of the city below never disturbed your slumber. Cars honking, people shouting, trucks huffing. It was all so distant and muted. None of it could penetrate the peaceful haze of your dreams.
Tonight something else was responsible for that. Not just sounds, but something physical that roused you from the depths of unconsciousness.
It started as simple rustling. Just the sheets shifting against each other, the blanket being pulled from beneath one person’s weight to wrap around another’s. And then grunting followed it. It was quiet and uneven, accompanied by heavy breaths.
You didn’t wake from just that though. Only when you heard mumbling and felt more forceful movements did your eyes flutter open.
Jason’s nose wasn’t nestled against the base of your neck. That was the first thing you realized.
You rubbed the sleep from your eyes while sitting up. Your movements came slow at first, bogged down by your body’s desire to go back to sleep. It took a few seconds to register what was happening. The glow of the tv disoriented you as your mind tried to fit everything into place.
But you soon realized the mumbling and squirming was coming from Jason.
Glancing over at him, you saw him curled up facing the opposite of you. The muscles in his back looked tense, as if bracing for some kind of impact. His legs kicked at the covers, not with their full force since he couldn’t give all his effort but still pretty hard.
You furrowed your brows as you observed for a few seconds. At first, you didn’t understand what you were looking at. But then you heard him more clearly. You could make out words like “no” and “stop” and “get off.” He made a noise that almost sounded like crying, and that was when it clicked.
He was having a nightmare.
Instantly, you scooted closer, kneeling behind his back. You brought a gentle hand down on his bicep and tried waking him with a combination of soothing strokes and weak shakes.
“Jason?” you whispered. You didn’t want him to get pissy about being woken up, but you also didn’t like watching him upset by his dreams.
He didn’t wake up from your cautious touches or quiet call, so you tried a little harder. You shook him with some actual dedication and leaned in closer.
“Jason. You’re dreaming. Wake up,” you said. Your voice remained caring and tender, but you said the words clearly. His eyes stayed shut though so you went for one more attempt. “Come onnnn. Wake up. Don’t make me get some water-”
The pitchy whine snapped his eyes open; only he didn’t awaken with the relieved gasp or tiny jolt you were expecting. Instead, he snapped at you like you’d nudged him with the barrel of a gun rather than your fingers. He flipped around and lunged. One of his hands wrapped around your throat, the other slammed your shoulder down to the mattress.
You squeaked at the blur of motion. Of course, you knew Jason was strong. It was obvious from the way he worked out and the muscles padding his body. You’d just never really felt how strong he was first hand.
This was a different kind of strength from when he fucked you. His fingers didn’t dig in just enough to mark, their pressure against your skin acted as an unspoken threat. He slammed you down with way more force than when he was just manhandling you. In a position like this, you realized how powerless you really were against him, how easy it would be for him to snap your bones or severely maim you if he felt so inclined.
You stared up at him with widened eyes. Your body trembled with a mixture of fear and confusion. Earlier, when he was on top of you, looking all soft and sweet, it seemed hard to compare him to the facade he wore around strangers. But right now, he had morphed into another creature entirely. That quick temper you saw from day one became so much more severe under pressure. It sharpened into something looking to puncture. You didn’t even want to speak his name to try and calm whatever sort of reaction you’d triggered in case the mere sound of your voice would set him off further.
Luckily for you, being throttled onto the bed had been enough to wake Dick too. He came to his senses faster than you had. The second he saw your predicament, he was up. He grabbed Jason’s shoulder and tugged him back without fear. Maybe he’d done this before.
You sat up, rubbing your throat as you scooted back to lean against the headboard. There was no internal damage that you could feel since he hadn’t actually choked you, but the sting of forming bruises along the base of your throat lingered.
“Hey, hey, hey. You were dreaming, man. No one’s here. You’re alright. She’s fine,” Dick murmured to Jason at the end of the bed.
He definitely had done this before. You could tell. The way he positioned his hands on his shoulders and made him look in his eyes. The tone he spoke with, intentionally grounding and firm without being harsh or scolding. It was practiced, tried and true. You wondered for how long had Jason needed this kind of help. For how long had he struggled with whatever caused him to lash out.
It only took a couple moments for Jason to come back down to reality with the both of you. You could nearly see his features relax back into the shape you’d grown accustomed to. His eyes softened, and although his chest still heaved with rough panting breaths, his posture relaxed. He rubbed a hand over his face before his gaze shifted to you.
For a second, he appeared almost sheepish. Though a stoic mask quickly came up to conceal that.
“Are you alright?” he rasped. “I didn’t…”
“I’m fine,” you reassured quickly. “You just startled me a little, but I’m not hurt or anything.”
He nodded, throat bobbing as he swallowed hard. “That’s… um that’s good,” he said. But he still wasn’t settled. Instead of returning to his previous place next to you, he made his way off the bed. “I’m sorry. I- It- I’m just gonna take a minute,” he mumbled.
“Jason, wait. You don’t have to-” you started, but he was already out the door without looking back.
Your head turned to Dick who was coming to sit next to you again. “Did I do something wrong? I didn’t mean to scare him like that. I just touched his arm and-” you tried to explain.
“No, you didn’t do anything wrong. It wasn’t your fault. You’re ok,” he said. His hands gently maneuvered your jaw around to get a look at the markings on your throat.
“Is he?” you asked. “He seemed really upset. I don’t want him thinking I’m mad or something…”
“He doesn’t think you’re mad. Promise,” Dick said softly. Once he was satisfied with his inspection of your neck, he leaned back against the headboard next to you.
You wrapped your arm around Dick’s, leaning your head on his shoulder. The two of you sat in the silence of the bedroom for a couple seconds. You hesitated before speaking again.
“Why did he get so freaked out?” you asked, voice quieter than before. You knew there was a risk you were prying into something that was none of your business, but didn’t you have a right to know after getting choked-slammed as a result of it?
“Jason… He…” Dick started, clearly contemplating whether he should share or not as well. “A few years ago, he was on a case. One of the last ones at our old firm. He was serving a protection order for this girl. And anyways, the details aren’t too important, but it didn’t go well. He got hurt. The client… she didn’t make it out.”
Your eyes widened. Suddenly, guilt for all the shit you’d given Jason upon meeting him hit you like a truck.
“I… Is that what he dreams about?” you asked.
Dick shrugged. “He’s never told me exactly. I’ve only seen him like that a few times before this, on different cases, but I didn’t think he’d had one in a long time,” he said.
“Does he blame himself for what happened?” you said.
“Of course,” he said, smiling a little despite the words. “Any time something goes wrong on a case, you blame yourself. But there was no way he could have done anything different. We had a leak within the agency that sold out their location. No one knew until it was too late.”
You frowned. This story didn’t get any better the more you learned. You tried to piece this information together with your already existing perception of Jason. Part of you just wanted to imagine what he would have been like before any of that. He probably would have been around your age. Maybe he’d be carefree like you or have a sense of humor closer to Dick’s. It didn’t really matter though. Contextualizing what was real was more important than imagining a life that would never exist.
“Should we…?” you said, tilting your head towards the door.
“No. He likes to be alone afterwards,” he answered.
Your frown worsened. Likes didn’t seem like the correct word here. You doubted he liked any of this. He was probably in his room or downstairs, moping around, feeling ashamed and isolated, wanting company and not knowing how to ask for it.
But Dick was already laying down again, so you followed in suit.
“Just give him till morning. He’ll be ok,” he told you, kissing your forehead before relaxing into the mattress again.
You did not plan on giving Jason till morning.
After lying there for a couple minutes, worry for him still nagged at you. There was no way you were gonna fall asleep like this, thinking of a new scenario every few seconds, all of which involved him lonely and in anguish.
You just waited until Dick fell asleep before creeping out of bed and slipping into the hall. Quiet as could be, you padded down the lofted walkway. You peeked into his room on the way, finding it empty and untouched except for his open duffel bag. He must have been downstairs then.
When you reached the bottom of the stairs, you found the living room and kitchen empty too. A few more paces in, however, you spotted his figure out on the balcony. He leaned against the railing towards the corner, head hanging forward. His dark hair blew to the side in the breeze outside.
Even though you knew it’d be cold, you opened the door and stepped out. A little shiver overcame you as the chilled air hit your skin. He didn’t look. Either he didn’t hear the door, or he was hoping you’d cut your losses now and go back inside.
But of course, you didn’t.
“How do you not get dizzy doing that?” you called softly as you approached him.
He glanced over in your direction. “Don’t tell me you’re scared of heights too, little brat?” he asked. Despite the nickname, his voice came out almost hollow. As if someone had carved out his usual mirth.
“Well kinda… I don’t come out here too much,” you admitted with a shrug.
In contrast to your slight aversion, you took up the place next to him, placing your forearms on the frosty steel rail.
“Why do you live in a penthouse if you don’t like heights?” he said.
“I didn’t really choose the floor,” you started. You intended to say more, but a low hum from him cut you off.
“That’s right. How could I have thought otherwise?”
He said it in the way he talked to you before, when you were just a client. When you were just a pest. It hurt a bit, you couldn’t lie. But you didn’t let it push you away. You knew he wouldn’t be in a good mood before you came down here. The time alone probably only hardened his feelings and aimed them more at himself.
“Are you ok, Jason?” you asked, soft and quiet. You reached to touch his arm; however, he put a stop to that by inching away.
“Don’t,” was all he said.
“I just-” you tried.
“I know. You just want to help. But I’m telling you don’t. I don’t need it,” he maintained.
Maybe you should have stopped there. It might have been better to just stand there with him, offer comfort by not letting him be alone even if it had to be through silence. But to be honest… the short tone and the way he interrupted your point pissed you off. You took a deep breath and gripped the railing a little tighter.
“You look like you do,” you said, trying to remain non-confrontational. “You’re out here all alone while it’s freezing.”
“Like I said, I don’t. I’m fine. I can handle myself.”
“But you don’t have to! You can tell me stuff, you know. Like real stuff. I know I’m not like your best friend or anything, but I wanna actually know you. I can listen and maybe help if you let me,” you said, starting the same spiel you gave to Dick earlier.
Only Jason didn’t want it.
“I don’t want help from you.”
Your cheeks burned at the targeted nature of the statement. It wasn’t that he didn’t want help, apparently. No. Just that he didn’t want it to be yours.
“You know you have your right to privacy, and if you really don’t wanna tell me how you feel, fine. But don’t act like I’m a goddamn stranger,” you said.
“Oh, that’s a bad word. You sure daddy lets you say that one?” he retorted.
And that stung. He’d made cracks like that before, of course, on the day you met and those that came after. Right up until that morning where you’d given him all of yourself. That was why it hurt so much when he said it now. It was why your throat tightened a little and your eyes started to sting. You thought that things were different. That he at least understood you even if he didn’t respect you.
“Why are you being such a jerk? I was just trying to help you. Just because you’re too scared to let me in, you don’t have to be rude,” you defended.
He let out a bitter laugh at that. “Oh scared? Is that what I am? You’d like that wouldn’t you?” he taunted. “Because then you’d get to be the one to fix me, and you could finally prove to me that you’re capable. You could get my approval for doing something worthwhile because you know it’ll never come from your daddy.”
The breath vanished from your lungs. You had to actively try not to cry now. Crying would only make you look more pathetic in front of him, and while he may be winning the argument, you’d be damned if you proved him right in any way.
“You barely even know me! How-” you forced out, trying to hide the way your voice cracked.
“If I barely even know you then why the fuck would I wanna talk about this stuff with you?” he said.
Your argument shriveled up on your tongue because, technically, he had a point.
“I was just offering because I thought…” you trailed off. A combination of losing and not wanting to share held you back now.
“I’m not telling you anything because I know you,” he continued. “I know you wouldn’t understand, and you never will. You’ll never know what real pain is. You’ll never have to deal with actual guilt. And I know for a fucking fact shame isn’t a thing in your life.”
You stood there, taking it all. This was the first time he was actually mean to you. Everything in the beginning had been a simmer, but now his temper was heating up. You didn’t even know what to do when he was done. You didn’t want to cower and run off with your tail between your legs, but you also didn’t want to agitate him more.
“Ok, Jason, I get it,” you said. Now yours was the voice that had been hollowed out. This was probably his first time hearing you speak without some form of whining or teasing.
He looked away, and you could tell he realized that he went a little too far. He wanted you to leave him alone but not permanently. But what was said was said. There was no way to unhear his words.
“Look…” he started, but you honestly couldn’t take any half-assed apologies right now.
“It’s fine. Just forget it,” you said, barely more than a whisper, before walking back inside.
The air in the living room was objectively warmer, but the emptiness of the place made it seem chilled. You skulked back upstairs and into your room, slipping into bed with Dick again as if you never left. Your head landed on his chest and your palm rested on the center of his abdomen. You shut your eyes in an attempt to let the sound of his beating heart drown out Jason’s words that were still bouncing around in your skull.
It didn’t really work, but one positive came along with the sadness. It suppressed your anxiety. The pain left you wanting to avoid Jason, so you weren’t at all concerned about whether he was coming back to your bed or not.
You accepted the fact that he’d probably be back in the guest room for good.
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dear me | 08
lawyer! jeonjungkook x privatechef! reader
SUMMARY: Once upon a time, Jungkook and you were everything. Best friends who shared every moment, every secret—except one: you were in love with him. But life changed. High school ended, real life began, and slowly, you drifted apart, the distance between you growing too wide to cross.
The end. Except it isn't.
One day, after a long day at work, you open your email to find a message from 13 years ago—written by your younger self. A letter you’d forgotten, sent by a service you paid to remind you of your youth, your love for him. As the emails keep on coming and you keep reading, the flood of memories hits you, and you realize something heartbreaking: you never stopped loving him.
But now, it’s too late. Jungkook is about to marry someone else. Or is he?
estranged childhood best friends-to-friends-to-lovers?
TRIGGER WARNINGS: death of a loved one, grief, childhood trauma, emotional vulnerability, mentions of smoking, mentions of hospitals, funeral themes, themes of loss, nostalgia, emotional dependency, performance anxiety, fear of failure, complicated parent-child relationship
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wc: 6,3k // date: 28th of April
CHAPTER EIGHT — Fifteen Years and a Pinky; happy reading my gummies...
AN: hi gummies, how are you? here’s the ch 08. now, i know i told you this chapter is supposed to be 9k long and you may be surprised that it’s only 6.3k, but—listen. this chapter was originally supposed to include the night at the house too, but when i reread it i realized that three (3!!!) separate scenes would be like throwing your feelings into a blender and then stepping on it. and because the scene before the house night is raw (like steak tartare levels of raw) i didn’t want to ruin the flow. so here we are. soft. emotional. holding pinkies and sobbing.
this chapter is a bit heavy and personal for me, so if you’re thinking about sending hate asks or comments... respectfully, go touch grass. and maybe hug your grandma too while you're at it.
anyways, note goal for this chapter is 420 notes. if we hit it, you get chapter 9 which is lowkey spicey but not really but like... i sprinkled some ✨specs✨ of something in there okay. patience is a virtue, babes. see you soon.
The music at The House is doing exactly what it’s supposed to — vibing in the background like a low, steady heartbeat, not blasting your eardrums into oblivion like most places would. It's early, but a few brave locals are already perched at the bar, clutching their coffees like lifelines and pretending to be scandalized by Alex’s latest story. Honestly, half the chaos is in the fact that it’s barely 9 a.m. and he’s already causing a scene.
You can’t help but love mornings like this. Especially when the playlist is this good — Jezebel by Sade melts through the speakers, smooth and rich, and you bob your head to the beat as you sip your espresso like you’re in some cheap movie.
You and Jungkook had smartly claimed a booth instead of the bar. The bar is for nights when you need bad decisions and worse tequila. The booth? That’s strictly reserved for existential crises over coffee. Classy.
It’s almost funny how most people don’t even realize The House runs in the mornings too — it’s like an unspoken VIP pass to a secret world. Mornings here feel untouched, sacred, like you’re living inside a memory.
The place hasn’t changed.
The boy next to you — sprawled out, looking entirely too comfortable for someone with a cappuccino in hand — hasn’t either.
But you? Him? You’re not the same kids who used to think the world owed you something.
And maybe that’s the magic of it.
Or maybe it’s just the espresso talking.
“Vicky literally wanted to murder me yesterday,” Jungkook sighs, taking a small sip of his coffee.
“I think she did,” you agree, leaning back in your seat like the weight of the whole performance exhausted you. “Honestly, it’s a miracle you made it out alive.”
“She gave me a death glare that could’ve set the entire room on fire,” he says, laughing under his breath. “I think my soul left my body for a second.”
“She’s just... passionate,” you say, trying not to snicker.
“Passionate about hating me?”
You shrug, a mischievous glint in your eyes. “Well, maybe don’t exist so loudly next time.”
Jungkook presses a hand to his heart, pretending to be wounded. “Brutal. Betrayed by my own favorite.”
You smile into your coffee cup, trying to hide the way your heart trips over itself at his words.
Jungkook tilts his head to the side, and you hear a loud crack echo from his neck. He winces, rubbing the spot.
"Jesus," he mutters, "I don’t know if I’m just getting old or what, but my neck’s been killing me lately. Like, constantly."
You snort into your coffee. "Join the club. For me, it’s the shoulders. Doesn’t even matter how I sleep—on my side, my back, curled up like a shrimp—bam, wake up feeling like someone beat me up in my dreams."
He chuckles under his breath, nudging your foot under the table. "We’re literally falling apart and it’s not even noon."
"Speak for yourself. I’m thriving. Pain is my lifestyle choice now," you say, dramatically stretching your arms and instantly regretting it when a sharp pinch runs through your shoulder.
"Yeah," Jungkook smirks, raising an eyebrow. "Looks like you're thriving real hard over there.”
"So, Mr. Neck Pain," you tease, swirling your coffee, "what’s next now that you’re all settled back in town?"
Jungkook groans, slouching deeper into the booth. "Ugh, don’t even ask. Nina’s on this mission to redecorate my mom’s house. I can barely keep up with everything anymore."
"Redecorate?" you blink.
"Yeah, why?" he asks, eyeing you curiously.
You shrug, playing it off. "Nothing. I just always thought you loved that house the way it was."
"I do," he says, running a hand through his hair, "but we want it to be, you know, a good place if we ever start a family."
Your brows knit together, something tugging at your chest. "But we—I mean, you—grew up there. It's already a good place."
He smiles a little sadly. "True. But you know how Nina is—she loves the latest trends, new aesthetics, all that HGTV bullshit."
You force a chuckle, but your heart isn't in it. "Yeah... I know." You pause, tracing the rim of your cup. "I just thought… there were too many good memories there for you to change it."
Jungkook’s expression softens, and he leans forward, elbows resting on the table. "We're not tearing it down, just giving it a facelift. Besides..." he trails off for a second, choosing his words carefully, "there were a lot of bad memories there too, you know."
You gulp, regret washing over you in waves.
As much as you loved that house, the memories, the time you spent there with Jungkook, you know better now. When you left, he stayed. They all stayed behind. In there.
"Shit, Kook, I’m sorry," you mumble, your voice quieter than you intend. "I wasn’t thinking."
Jungkook glances at you, his expression neutral, but you can see the tiredness in his eyes. "It’s okay," he says, but it doesn’t sound as reassuring as it should. "Really. You didn’t say anything wrong."
You shake your head, frustration bubbling up. "Still... I always run my mouth before thinking."
"It’s fine," he repeats, more firmly this time, though it doesn't quite ease the tension between you. He runs a hand through his hair, exhaling sharply like he’s been holding his breath for too long. He seems like he wants to move on, but you can tell the weight of the conversation hasn’t shifted for him.
There’s a pause as he stares down at his coffee cup, swirling the contents absentmindedly. "Speaking of the devil… He called me last night."
Your stomach sinks, a tight knot forming in your chest. "How does he even know you’re back in town?"
Jungkook shrugs, looking like he’s trying to make light of it, but the slight crease in his brow gives him away. "Maybe a neighbor mentioned something. You know how it is. Small town, everyone talks."
He shifts uncomfortably in his seat, his fingers tapping rhythmically on the table. "He said he misses me. Wants to see me."
You take a breath, your heart pounding a little faster than usual. "Kook..." Your voice softens, and you try to hold his gaze, willing him to understand. "You don’t have to go see him. You don’t owe him anything."
His eyes dart to yours, but they don’t hold the same certainty you’re used to. There’s a flicker of something there—maybe guilt, maybe doubt. "I know," he says, the words thick with hesitation. "But he’s still my dad."
You lean forward, putting your hands on the table as if grounding yourself, trying to find the right words. "Jungkook, I get that. I do. But look at what he did to you. To your family. You don’t owe him a damn thing. Not after everything he’s done."
A flash of pain crosses his face, but he quickly masks it with a forced shrug. "Maybe he’s changed." His voice is small now, as if he’s trying to convince himself more than you.
You feel a pang in your chest as you watch him. His words sound like a plea, a hope that hasn’t faded, despite everything. "Maybe," you say, your voice quieter than before. "But... Kook, you’ve given him so many chances. How many more does he need to mess up before you stop waiting for him to change?"
Jungkook doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he stares at the table, his jaw clenched. His hands are folded together, knuckles white from the pressure. The silence stretches between you like a tension-filled rope, and you hate how long it lingers.
Finally, he lets out a long, slow breath, his voice almost inaudible. "I just... I don’t know. Part of me keeps thinking that maybe one day, he’ll realize what he lost. That he’ll finally see everything I’ve done for myself. But I’m still his son, you know? I still want him to be proud of me."
Your heart aches for him, and you find yourself reaching across the table without thinking, your hand brushing against his. "Kook..." You pause, unsure how to say what you want. "You don’t need his approval. You never have. You’ve made your own path, your own life. You don’t need him to recognize that."
He meets your eyes then, and for a moment, the world outside fades into the background. He’s so tired, and it’s not just the physical exhaustion. It’s the emotional weight he carries, the years of longing for something from his father that he may never get. "I don’t know if I can just let it go," he admits quietly.
You squeeze his hand, offering him a small but sincere smile. "I know it is. But you’ve been carrying this for so long. You deserve peace, Kook. You deserve to stop wondering if he’s going to come around."
He nods slowly, but the doubt still lingers in his eyes. "I’m just... not ready to give up on him yet. Maybe one day, I’ll be able to let go. But not now."
You nod in understanding, even though you wish he didn’t feel this way. You’re not sure if he’ll ever let go of the hope that his father might change, but you’ll be here for him—whether he wants to see his dad or not.
Because even if he can’t yet walk away from that, you’ll be the one to catch him if he falls.
"So..." Jungkook leans back, stretching like he’s trying to shake off the whole conversation. "You want another coffee or what?"
You huff out a laugh, sensing the way he’s desperate to change the subject. You’ll let him. For now.
"Sure. Let’s drown our trauma in caffeine," you say, clapping your hands once.
"Aki!" you yell across the room like a drunk girl at a party.
Alex's head snaps up from behind the bar, his expression pure chaos. "I KNOW you are not hollering at me from across the damn room at 9 AM!"
You press your palms together in mock prayer, batting your lashes at him.
He points a threatening finger your way, but he's already stomping toward the coffee machine. "You better be glad you're cute. And that you called me Aki. Otherwise? I'd be filing a noise complaint on your ass."
Jungkook cackles next to you, throwing his arm over the back of the booth lazily. "Don’t blame her. She’s been a menace since birth."
"And YOU!" Alex spins dramatically toward Jungkook. "Mr. Ex-Drummer-Wannabe over there—you even THINK about ordering like that and I’m dragging you out by your sad little hair bun."
"I cut my hair," Jungkook defends, laughing so hard he almost spills his cappuccino.
"Good. One less handle for me to grab when I throw hands," Alex fires back without missing a beat.
You’re crying with laughter now, doubled over in the booth as Alex aggressively slams the espresso shots into the machine like he’s personally offended by your existence.
"Two coffees! Extra espresso! And a prayer for your broken souls!" he yells over the sound of the steamer.
You wipe a tear from your eye. Jungkook’s cheeks are flushed pink from laughing.
The tension between you? Gone. Completely obliterated by the unholy spirit of Alex at 9 in the morning.
When Alex brings over your coffees, he doesn’t just drop them off and head back to the bar like a normal person. No, of course not. Alex being Alex means he slams the mugs down with a dramatic flourish, making a few drops slosh over the rims—and then, without so much as a warning, slides right into the booth beside you like he owns the damn place.
You blink at him. "Aren’t you supposed to be, I don’t know, working?" you deadpan, scooting over an inch, not that it does anything to deter him.
"Babe, I am working," Alex says, fake-fanning himself like he’s starring in some bad soap opera. "Quality customer service. Mingling with the clientele. Boosting morale." He flashes you a smile so wide it’s practically criminal.
"You call this customer service?" you snort, narrowing your eyes.
"I call this excellence," he corrects, snapping his fingers in the air.
Jungkook leans back, grinning. "Remind me again why George hasn't kicked your ass to the curb yet?"
"Because," Alex says, stretching out his arms along the back of the booth like a king surveying his kingdom, "nobody else is stupid enough to work as a barista, bartender, waiter, and unofficial therapist at the same time."
"Unofficial therapist," you cough, laughing into your cup.
"I’ve seen things, alright?" Alex says gravely, glancing around the café like someone might overhear. "The shit people cry about at two in the morning over whiskey shots would make your hair fall out."
"You mean like that one girl who thought her cat was psychic and warning her about her cheating boyfriend?" Jungkook grins.
Alex gasps. "That girl was a treasure. And honestly, her cat probably was psychic. Men ain’t shit."
You and Jungkook crack up, nearly spilling your coffees.
"But seriously, why are you still here, Alex? You could probably have an actual desk job by now."
Alex sighs dramatically, placing a hand over his heart. "Because I love this place. And because I love the poor lost souls who stumble through that door looking like they need either a double shot of espresso or an exorcism."
"You saying you love us?" Jungkook teases, winking.
Alex points straight at you without missing a beat. "Yeah. But I love her more."
He leans his full weight against you, feigning a swoon.
You shove him half-heartedly, laughing. "Jesus Christ, get off me."
"Can’t," Alex hums. "We’re bonded for life now. Future spouses. Bar booth besties. Trauma buddies."
You shake your head, hiding your smile behind your coffee cup. No matter how loud or outrageous Alex could be, moments like this reminded you why you kept coming back to The House. Why it still felt like home, even when everything else around you had changed.
Jungkook watches the two of you with amusement flickering in his eyes. For a second, the weight on his shoulders seems lighter. His smile less forced. You catch the way he lingers, looking around at the chipped wood tables, the battered jukebox, the dusty light pouring through the windows—and you realize it’s not just you clinging to the past.
“So,” you start, drumming your nails against the scratched surface of the table, “anyone interesting playing tonight?”
Alex perks up immediately, a sly smile curling his lips. “Why, you guys thinking about stopping by?”
“Don’t answer my question with a question,” you groan, tossing your head back dramatically against the seat, earning a low chuckle from both Alex and Jungkook.
“Still so easy to rile you up,” Alex teases, nudging your arm with his elbow. "But fine. Yes, there’s someone playing tonight. Some high school senior band. New kids. Pretty decent."
He glances toward Jungkook, a flicker of something unreadable flashing in his blue eyes. “You’d love them if you came to watch. Especially the drummer.”
Jungkook quirks an eyebrow, his mug pausing halfway to his mouth. “Yeah? They any good?” He phrases it like a question but there's a lightness there—something almost hopeful.
Alex leans back against the booth, arms crossed, grinning. “Real good. Their drummer reminds me a lot of you, actually. It’s crazy."
For a moment, something shifts in the air between them—some old memory or unspoken thing passing by. You catch it, the way Alex's voice softens at the edges, the way his posture straightens just slightly when he says it.
Jungkook doesn’t respond right away. He just hums, a quiet sound, before taking a slow sip of his cappuccino. When he sets the cup down again, there’s a faint, almost reluctant smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.
"You were amazing, you know," Alex says suddenly, voice lower, more serious now as he turns his head, eyes drifting toward the small stage at the front of the café. "Everyone loved seeing you up there."
"I was nothing special," Jungkook mutters, shrugging like he's trying to make himself smaller. He rolls his shoulders, like the memory sits a little too heavy on them.
"You were," Alex insists, almost stubbornly.
You stay quiet, just watching Jungkook carefully, feeling your chest tighten a little.
He was special. He is special. But you know he struggles to see it sometimes.
“Well," Jungkook says after a beat, laughing under his breath, "thank God we have new generations now. I’m way too rusty these days anyway."
"Rusty?" Alex scoffs like it's the dumbest thing he’s ever heard. "You could still kill it. I bet you could pick up a pair of sticks right now and blow everyone’s mind."
Jungkook laughs again, but this time it’s softer, almost bashful, his fingers idly tracing the rim of his coffee cup. "Nah, man. Really. I can’t even remember the last time I touched a drum kit."
"Doesn’t matter," Alex shrugs. "Some things you don’t forget. It’s in you, y’know? Like breathing."
You smile a little into your coffee, feeling something warm bloom in your chest as you watch them.
Because you see it—that flicker of pride, of something almost childlike—lighting up behind Jungkook’s eyes.
No matter how much he tries to brush it off, no matter how much he plays it down…
There’s a part of him that still holds onto that love.
That part hasn’t rusted at all.
“Wanna bet?” Alex leans forward, elbows on the table, a wild grin spreading across his face. “If you come by tonight, get on that stage, and play like you used to, you owe me the fattest tip The House has ever seen. I’m talking, like, a thousand bucks.”
“A thousand?” you splutter, nearly choking on your coffee. Your eyes whip between Jungkook and Alex like you’re watching a live tennis match. “Are you insane?”
Alex just shrugs, looking completely unbothered, like he didn’t just casually ask for a month’s rent.
Jungkook’s tongue pokes the inside of his cheek, the way it always does when he's considering something reckless.
You can practically see it happening—the slow spark, the glint of mischief flickering to life behind his eyes.
“Yeah?” Jungkook says, voice low, teasing, almost daring. “And what if I suck? What if I’m absolutely terrible?”
Alex grins wider, if that’s even possible. “Then I’ll cover all your drinks. You, anyone you drag in here with you, free tabs for the next three months. No questions asked.”
Jungkook snorts, shaking his head. “What if I’m bad on purpose?”
“You can’t be bad on purpose, Jungkook,” Alex says, voice almost affectionate, like he’s stating a universal truth. “You don’t know how. It’s not in your DNA.”
You laugh under your breath because, honestly, Alex isn’t wrong. Jungkook could try his absolute hardest to mess up and somehow still end up being stupidly good at it.
And now you see it happening, right there in front of you—the battle playing out in Jungkook’s head.
Because no matter how calm or grown-up he pretends to be these days, underneath it all, Jeon Jungkook has never met a challenge he didn’t want to destroy.
His fingers tap restlessly against the mug, his jaw tightening ever so slightly. He’s thinking about it. Seriously thinking about it.
For a second, you think he might laugh it off.
For a second, you think he might shake his head and say, “Nah, not tonight.”
But there’s a part of you—quiet, selfish—that hopes he doesn’t.
Because seeing Jungkook now, here, with the stage in the background and the hum of The House around you, feels so strange it almost aches.
Like a part of your life that belonged to someone else entirely.
And yet, it did happen.
Right here, between these old walls and scratched tables and buzzing neon lights—Jungkook was alive once.
So alive, it made your chest hurt just watching him.
You swallow around the lump forming in your throat, forcing a smile onto your lips.
You want to see that Jungkook again.
Just for one night.
Just for a song.
Maybe, just maybe… you’re not the only one who wants that too.
“Okay,” Jungkook says, crossing his arms lazily behind his head, his body slumping back into the booth like he couldn't care less.
You and Alex whip your heads toward him at the same time.
“Okay?” you both blurt out, voices overlapping in pure disbelief.
Alex’s jaw actually drops a little. His whole face lights up like someone just handed him front row tickets to his favorite band.
You swear you see sparkles in his eyes.
“Yeah,” Jungkook says with a casual shrug, sipping his coffee like he didn’t just agree to revisit an entire part of himself he’s been quietly avoiding for years. “Game’s on. Don’t get too excited about it.”
You can’t help it.
You squeal.
Loud.
Like a literal teenager seeing her One Direction live.
“Oh my god, you’re really playing tonight?” you practically shout, bouncing in your seat.
Jungkook raises an eyebrow at you over the rim of his mug, hiding a small grin.
“Yeah. Only for the free drinks though. Because I know I’ll be terrible.”
Alex shoots you a look across the table—the look that screams I'm so winning this bet and you better remember this moment forever.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, pretty boy,” Alex sing-songs, leaning back with a smirk. “I’m getting that one grand tip tonight. You’re gonna play like an angel and you know it.”
Jungkook snorts, setting his coffee down with a loud clink. “Dream about it, Alex. I’m washed up. I’m bad.”
“Yeah, yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night,” Alex says, waving him off. “We’ll see who’s laughing when I’m bathing in bills later.”
You shake your head, heart thudding against your ribs, still trying to wrap your mind around it.
Jungkook is playing tonight.
In this place.
On that stage.
The same one where he used to tear the house down with nothing but drumsticks and a grin.
You steal a glance at him—at the way he tries to act unfazed, too cool to care.
But you see it.
The way his fingers twitch slightly on the table.
The way his knee starts bouncing under it.
He’s excited.
Terrified maybe.
But excited.
And somehow, you feel like you're about to see a version of Jungkook tonight that’s been hiding for a long, long time.
You smile into your coffee cup, letting the warmth seep into your chest.
Tonight’s gonna be special.
You can feel it.
"Alright," Jungkook says, pulling out his wallet and flipping it open with a lazy flick of his wrist.
"You don’t have to pay me yet, you know," Alex grins, lounging back in his seat like he’s the king of the damn world. "Everyone knows I’m winning this anyway, but still—appreciate the enthusiasm."
"Bold of you to assume that," Jungkook mutters under his breath, rolling his eyes with a small smirk. He peels a few bills from his wallet and hands them over. "This is for the coffees. Nothing more. Don’t get your hopes up."
Alex whistles low under his breath, dramatically tucking the money into the pocket of his apron like it’s sacred treasure. "Coffees are on me, but I'm keeping this. Just so you know, when you lose tonight, this is going straight into my ‘Victory Drinks’ fund."
"Dream on," Jungkook says, already pushing his chair back.
You laugh, grabbing your jacket and slinging it over your shoulders. "We’re heading out before you two start slapping each other with money."
"Already?!" Alex pouts dramatically, sticking out his bottom lip like a child about to throw a tantrum. "But this was just starting to get fun!"
"We’ll see you tonight, babe," you tease, leaning in slightly as you adjust your jacket. "Try not to miss us too much."
"Wouldn’t dream of it," Alex calls after you, tossing a mock salute your way as he saunters back behind the bar, already chatting up a new group of customers like the social butterfly he is.
You glance over your shoulder once before stepping outside, the cold air nipping at your cheeks.
The door swings shut behind you, cutting off the warm hum of The House.
And as you and Jungkook walk down the sidewalk, shoulders brushing every few steps, you can’t help but smile to yourself.
"I can’t believe I’ll see you on the stage tonight," you say, your voice soft, almost quiet.
The city moves around you — the low chatter of couples at outdoor tables, the distant barking of a dog, the steady thrum of cars in the background — but right now, it feels like it's just you and Jungkook, walking side by side.
He kicks a small pebble along the sidewalk with the toe of his boot, the rhythm of his steps syncing perfectly with yours.
"Me either," he says, chuckling under his breath. "I’m gonna suck."
He tries to brush it off with a joke, but you catch it — that slight dip in his voice, the way his shoulders curl inward, the way his teeth sink into his lower lip like he’s trying to keep the doubt from slipping out louder.
"Kook," you whisper, reaching out without thinking, your fingers wrapping gently around his elbow, giving it a small, reassuring squeeze. "There’s no way in hell you’re gonna suck."
He looks at you then, really looks at you, like he’s searching for something — maybe faith, maybe reassurance, maybe just a familiar face who remembers who he used to be.
"I literally bet against myself," he mutters, half-laughing, half-defeated. "I’m pretty sure I know what’s coming."
You shake your head, smiling so much it almost hurts. "I’m with Alex on this one. You’ll be great. You’ll be better than great."
Jungkook scoffs, looking away as a faint blush creeps onto his cheeks. "I’ll embarrass myself," he says, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his jacket.
"You could trip and fall flat on your face and people would still cheer for you," you say, bumping your shoulder against his lightly. "You have that thing, you know? That... energy. People just wanna root for you."
He laughs — a real one this time, the sound bubbling up from somewhere deep, somewhere maybe he thought he buried a long time ago.
"You’re dangerous," he says, shaking his head, but there’s a smile tugging at his lips now, one he can’t quite hide. "You’re making me think I can actually do this."
"You can actually do this," you say simply.
For a moment, he just stares ahead, the sunlight catching in his hair, painting gold into the brown strands.
And you realize — he’s not scared of being bad.
He’s scared of remembering how much he loved it.
And maybe, deep down, he's scared of wanting it again.
"C'mon, let's go eat something," you say, grabbing a fistful of Jungkook’s jacket like a child dragging their favorite toy behind them.
Your steps turn rushed, half-skipping across the street, and you hear him laugh behind you — that soft, warm laugh that makes your chest bloom.
"Okay, okay, you don’t have to pull me," he chuckles, letting himself be tugged along, the heels of his boots scraping the sidewalk.
"You’re too slow and I’m too hungry," you shoot back, ignoring the string of playful complaints he tosses about you destroying his ‘new, very expensive, limited edition jacket.’
He doesn't actually try to break free though. He just follows, like he always does when it’s you.
You pull him into a small, tucked-away restaurant, the kind where the air smells like fresh bread and melted cheese, where the noise is low and comfortable.
Without even asking, Jungkook lets you choose the table — a cozy little booth by the window.
And somehow, as you both sit down, flipping open the greasy menus, it feels like nothing ever changed.
Not the years that passed. Not the hard things you both carried inside your chests.
Sitting across from him now feels exactly like it did when you were both younger, less guarded, less afraid.
The food comes quickly — baskets of fries and sandwiches stacked high — and you both agree without saying it that tonight's performance is off-limits, at least for now.
It’s a silent pact sealed with the clink of your water glasses.
"So you’re working tomorrow, and what after that?" Jungkook asks, stuffing a fistful of fries into his mouth, looking so casual you almost forget how his nerves had been rattling earlier.
"I think I’m gonna go to the cemetery after," you say lightly, twirling a fry between your fingers.
You don’t say it like it’s heavy.
Because it isn’t anymore.
It’s a routine. Like brushing your teeth. Like calling your mom.
It’s just something you do.
His chewing slows a little. "Nana?" he asks gently, voice dipping lower like he’s trying not to make the air around you heavier.
"Yeah," you smile a little, taking a sip of your drink. "Tomorrow’s the 15-year anniversary. Gotta go and visit her."
You joke about it, the same way you always do when you talk about it out loud. Not because it’s funny.
But because if you don’t laugh about it, it might feel too real. Too much.
Jungkook doesn’t prod.
Doesn’t tilt his head and give you the pity look.
Doesn’t say I’m sorry like everyone else does.
He just nods, tearing off a piece of his sandwich.
Because he knows.
He knows you visit her grave every month like clockwork. Knows you sit by the little marble headstone and tell her everything you can’t tell anyone else.
Knows that, as weird as it sounds, it’s almost comforting now.
Like a monthly check-in with someone who’s still somehow listening.
"It’s weird," you say suddenly, voice quieter, like you’re not sure why you’re even saying it. "Fifteen years sounds like forever. But it still feels like she’s... close. Sometimes."
Jungkook’s eyes lift to meet yours, soft and full of understanding.
"That’s because she is," he says simply.
You just smile, a real one this time. One that makes your nose crinkle.
And Jungkook smiles back, pushing the basket of fries toward you like he’s offering something bigger than food — like he’s offering comfort without making a big deal out of it.
And in that small, simple moment, you’re grateful.
Grateful that some people in your life — no matter how much time passes, no matter how much hurt sneaks in around the edges — always just get it.
"You know," you say, a small smirk playing on your lips, "I think I’m gonna bring her a pack of ciggies tomorrow. She’d be happy."
Jungkook laughs under his breath. "She’d be thrilled. I can already picture her up there in the sky, chanting, 'Smoke one for me!'"
"Literally," you snort, "that’s so her."
"Bring her some coffee too," he adds, nudging your foot gently under the table. "She only ever smoked when she had coffee."
"Maybe you can bring her the coffee," you tease.
His face softens, the teasing moment slipping into something gentler.
"You’d want me to come with you?"
You glance down, fiddling with the hem of your sleeve.
"Yeah... Only if you want to. No pressure."
"Of course I would," he says instantly. Then his smile fades just a little. "I just didn’t think you’d be comfortable with that. We haven’t gone there together in... ages."
"Yeah..." you trail off, the memory of old visits brushing against your mind like a ghost. Then you pause, the realization creeping up your spine. You lift your head slowly.
"Wait," you say, squinting at him, "are you saying you’ve gone to visit my Nana’s grave... alone?"
The air between you shifts — heavier, thicker.
He gulps. His shoulders tense slightly, but he doesn't back down.
"Yeah," Jungkook admits, voice smaller than before. "Whenever I came back here to visit... I’d stop by and see her too."
You blink at him, stunned.
Your heartbeat violently pulses in your ribcage — not from anger, not even from sadness, but from a fierce, overwhelming surprise.
"You..." you start, then falter. "Why?"
He fiddles with a paper napkin, his fingers slow, deliberate.
His voice is rough when he answers.
"Because you loved her so much. And because she’s the only one I ever trusted to keep an eye on you when..."
There’s a crack in his voice that he doesn’t bother hiding.
It splinters something deep inside you.
"And because..." he clears his throat, like the words are caught there, too heavy to say. "Because I miss her too, you know."
You don’t realize you’re crying until your vision blurs and a tear slides down your cheek.
You wipe it away quickly, embarrassed, but Jungkook just gives you the softest look — patient and understanding — like he knew you would.
"I think," you say, voice shaking despite yourself, "I think she'd be really happy you still visit her."
Jungkook lifts his eyes to meet yours — and for a moment, the busy restaurant, the cold food between you, the people outside — all of it disappears.
"I think she'd be happy about a lot of things," he says quietly.
You don't ask what he means.
You don’t have to.
Instead, you reach across the table and brush your pinky against his — tentative, testing.
He smiles and hooks his pinky around yours without hesitation.
It’s small.
It’s quiet.
But it feels like something sacred.
"Then let’s make her happy tomorrow," you whisper.
"Deal," Jungkook smiles, and you feel a rush of emotions flooding you all at once — a tidal wave you don't even try to fight.
"You know..." you start, gently smiling at him, "I never got to thank you."
His smile falters just a little, confusion slipping onto his face. His eyes lock onto yours — steady, unwavering — and you feel yourself shrink a little under the weight of his gaze.
"For what?" he asks, voice low.
"For being there for me," you say, heart pounding, "when she died."
He shakes his head immediately, brows knitting together.
"Nonsense. You don't thank me for that. Ever."
"I have to, Kook," you whisper, feeling the lump build in your throat.
"No," he insists, voice firm but gentle. "You don't."
But you remember that day like it was yesterday.
You were still in middle school. Barely thirteen.
It was lunchtime, and you sat with your friends, Jungkook included — laughing, pretending everything was normal.
You'd told them how your Nana was sick. How you’d overheard your parents whispering late at night that the doctor said she didn’t have much time left. That it was only a matter of days.
You remembered the way everyone had reassured you.
How they promised she’d pull through.
How they smiled too big and said she was strong. That she would be fine.
You remembered coming home from school that day.
The house had felt... too quiet.
Only Leah and Vicky were there, small and scared, faces pale with something they didn’t fully understand.
Your youngest brother was at the neighbor’s house.
You remembered asking them — what's going on?
You remembered how tiny Vicky’s voice was when she said it.
"Mom said... Nana died."
You remembered standing there, rooted to the floor, unable to breathe.
You remembered the way the world cracked open under your feet.
And you remembered calling Jungkook.
Hands shaking. Voice breaking.
The only person you could think of to call.
He had answered before the first ring even finished.
And he had come over immediately, sneakers barely tied, hair a mess, face open with worry.
No questions. No hesitations.
Just him.
Just Jungkook.
Sitting with you on the cold kitchen floor.
Letting you cry into his chest until your sobs turned into hiccups.
Until your whole body hurt from it.
Until it hurt a little less.
You remember Jungkook holding you, Leah, and Vicky — small arms trying to wrap around all three of you at once.
He was just a kid too.
He loved Nana just as much.
You remember him hiding his own tears, trying so hard to be strong for you.
You remember him picking up your little brother from the neighbor’s house, walking all of you to the corner store, and buying you ice cream — like it could somehow patch up the hole inside your chest.
You remember falling asleep that night with your face buried in his shirt, your sobs wrecking your body until you were too exhausted to cry anymore — and him just holding you through it.
You remember the funeral, too.
How your hands wouldn’t stop shaking.
How the world felt too big and too loud and too empty without her.
And how, without saying a single word, Jungkook hooked his pinky around yours — small and trembling — and didn’t let go the entire time.
Back then, it felt like a promise.
Like even when everything else disappeared, he wouldn't.
Now, sitting here with him years later, pinkies still finding each other without thinking, it feels like the same thing.
Maybe it was always the same thing.
"As I said," Jungkook’s voice cuts through your memories, pulling you gently back to him, "nonsense."
His tone is soft but steady, his eyes kind.
"We’re family. I’d always do that."
And without thinking, without meaning to, you tighten your pinky just a little around his.
Just to make sure he’s still there.
"I remember everything, Kook," you whisper, voice shaking.
"And you don’t even realize how much that meant to me."
He doesn’t say anything at first. Just watches you, the softness in his eyes enough to pull the air from your lungs.
"I’m glad I was there," he finally says, voice thick. "I’m glad you called me."
You smile, watery but real.
"Me too.”
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#bts smut#bts x reader#bts angst#bts fluff#bts x fem!reader#jungkook smut#jungkook x reader#bts x y/n#bts x you#jungkook scenario#jeon jungkook angst#jungkook angst#jeon jungkook smut#jeon jungkook fluff#jungkook fluff#jeon jungkook x reader#jungkook x reader smut#jungkook x you#jungkook x y/n#jungkook and reader#jungkook imagines#jungkook imagine#bts scenarios#jungkook bts#bts fic#bts series#jungkook series#jungkook fanfic#jungkook au#jeon jungkook
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I love your writing!
can I request reader with either penetration trauma (something I deal with), or reader who just has an ick about it, being talked through it/helped by the marauders (especially James)? thank you!! 💜💜
formatted as a one shot. got this request while rewatching kick-ass so the “especially james” is really working for me. i did some research on this and tried my best to not disrespect your experience. i did my best to be as gentle with this fic as possible. i apologize if anything is inaccurate or if it’s improper toward this delicate topic <3
talk through | james potter
pairing: james potter x fem!reader
warnings: discussion and mentions of penetration trauma (read with caution!!), smut (MDNI 18+), not proofread
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James's hands tangled through your hair as he kissed you, his body slowly pressing your back into the mattress. You did the same, twirling a strand of his hair in your fingers as if it was second nature.
He moaned into your mouth to signal that he liked it, one of his hands gently tracing the skin of your neck, then down your chest, your stomach, down between your thighs-
You gasped into the kiss as James began to rub gentle circles onto your clit. You slowly rolled your hips against his hand, silently begging him for more.
He pulled away and asked breathily, "whatcha want, hm?"
You kissed along his jawline and down to his neck, still grinding your hips against his fingers.
He smiled above you. "That's not an answer, baby."
You continued to pepper kisses along his skin, needy and unwilling to pause the pleasure.
"Can't give you what you want if you don't tell me," James said.
You knew he was going to make you say it. "More," you begged.
"More what?"
"Harder, Jamie, please," you said, immediately resuming your mouth against his skin.
"C'mere," he said, pulling your lips back to his as he finally pressed down against your clit, rubbing circles even faster than before.
Your back arched into his touch. He kissed you harder as well, his need growing as he felt you writhe beneath him in desperation.
"Like that?" James teased.
You nodded your head up and down furiously. You just wanted more. You and James had never gone quite this far, and you'd be damned if you let it stop here.
"Someone's needy today," he whispered.
"I want you," you moaned.
"'M right here," he smiled.
"No, Jamie, I want you."
James stopped moving his fingers. He scanned your face for any uncertainty, but found none.
"Are you sure?"
You had spoken to James about your penetration trauma before. You opened up to him about what had happened to cause it, and how you were terrified to have sex and completely break in front of him.
However, you finally felt like you were at a point where you trusted James enough to try. You just needed to feel like you weren't going through it in your head. You knew James could make you feel safe. You just had to communicate.
"I just- I need you to talk me through it."
"Okay, baby, what do you mean? Just wanna be sure I'm giving you what you need."
You smiled at his kindness. "Just let me know what you're doing as you're doing it," you said, "if you do something unexpectedly, I'm scared it'll trigger something."
James's heart shattered. "I promise to talk you through it, every step of the way," he said, "but you need to tell me if anything is too much. If there's anything you want me to stop or change, you tell me immediately. Okay?"
"Okay," you nodded.
"Are you sure you're ready for this?"
You didn't know. You felt ready, but you knew that it could change at any moment. You hoped James understood that. You trusted that he did, and you trusted him.
"Just go easy on me."
"Of course, baby," he said, kissing your cheek, "of course."
You kissed him, the the kiss was perhaps the most intimate, loving kiss you'd ever shared with anyone.
James reached between his legs to give himself a few strokes in preparation, and you nervously looked between your two bodies.
"Just touching' myself," he said, "not doin' anything just yet."
You nodded your head and kissed him again, this time hoping the kiss conveyed how appreciative you were that he was being so nice to you. You figured maybe you should just tell him.
"Thank you," you pulled away.
James smiled down at you. "For what?"
"I don't know," you said, "being nice, I guess."
James tilted his head like a puppy. "You don't need to thank me for being nice, baby, I wanna be nice to you. That's what you deserve."
Tears pooled in your eyes as you looked up at him. "Thank you."
"Baby," his voice broke as he leaned down to hug you, wrapping an arm behind your neck as you nudged your head into the crook of his neck. You let your tears fall freely, allowing yourself to be vulnerability in the comfort and safety of James holding you.
"I got you," he cooed, "I got you. You're okay, I'm not gonna hurt you."
You cried harder at his words. You loved him so, so fucking much. You would never be able to thank him enough for this, or thank him enough for the fact that he doesn't even think it's something to be thanked for.
James truly believed that this is the bare minimum of how kindly you should be treated. You had never been loved like this. Ever.
James didn't rush you. He didn't pressure you, didn't move you, didn't say a word. He just let you cry into his shoulder until you were ready.
"I want this," you said, which is the only reason why he released your neck and wiped away your tears with his thumb.
"We don't have to do this, baby."
"I want to," you said, "it's just gonna be a little tough at first."
"That's okay, we'll do whatever you need, okay? I just don't want you to feel like you have to do this. I don't need it. I have a hand, I'll be good."
"You've never once pressured me about sex, James," you replied, "and I want this for me. I want sex to be something other than the trauma that it currently is. It's just going to be a rough thing to get past, but I trust you."
"Okay," was all James said before he gently kissed you.
It was you who heated the kiss up as you pulled his hair an pressed him closer to you, grabbing at his back in need.
"Gonna touch myself again," he breathed, stroking himself as he kissed you hard.
After a few moments, he pulled away from your mouth. "Are you ready?"
You nodded your head up and down, scared that you would cry again if you spoke.
"I'm gonna line myself up with you, but I'm not gonna do anything just yet, okay?"
"Okay."
James lined the tip of his cock up with your entrance.
"Not goin' in," he said, "can I just move against you for a second? Help warm you up?"
"Yes."
You whined as James pushed his cock between your folds, moving his hips in a thrusting motion against your clit. You couldn't help the moans that fell from your lips, it just felt so good.
"Fuck," you moaned as he pressed himself even harder against you, using your wetness as lubricant.
"I'm goin' back where I was now," he said, lining himself up with you again.
"You ready?"
"Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"Are you absolutely totally sure?"
"James."
"Just making' sure," he smiled, and you giggled back at him, happy that he took some of the weight from the moment.
"I'm gonna fuck you now, okay? I'm gonna move nice and slow, I promise."
You took a deep breath. "Okay."
James pressed his forehead against yours as he guided the tip of his cock into you. He moved as slow as he possibly could. Once his tip was fully in, you swallowed hard. He watched your face to gage your comfort level, and stopped for a moment. Once your face softened again, he began to move slowly, his hips barely moving from the insanely slow pace.
"Stop, stop stop stop," you pleaded.
He immediately pulled completely out of you. Tears were pooling at your eyes again, and James stroke your hair, keeping his body close to yours to let you know that he was there, and he wasn't going anywhere unless you told him to.
"I'm sorry," your voice broke.
"Sh," he continued to stroke your hair, "no need to say sorry. I got you." His voice was soft and gentle.
"I'm sorry, I just-"
He shushed you again and began to stroke your cheek, exaggerating his breathing as an example for you to follow. You did as he did, holding a breath in before elongating a breath out. You looked into each other's eyes as you breathed until you had calmed down.
"Okay, I'm okay," you let out a deep breath, "you can try again."
"Only if you want," he assured you.
"Please," you said.
James kissed your forehead before he lined himself up with your entrance.
"Alright, baby, I'm gonna move now," he said.
You shuddered as his tip pressed into you again.
"I'm goin' as slow as I can, just a little deeper, I got you, you're okay. Alright baby, the tips all the way in, do you want me to keep going?"
"Mhm," you said, working to control your breathing.
James intertwined his fingers with yours, holding your hand against the mattress to the side of your head.
"Okay, baby, I'm gonna move again."
He began to push in slowly again, still watching your face for any uncomfortability or pain.
"Easy, easy, you're alright," he said, "I'm not gonna hurt you, baby, you're okay. I've got you."
You focused on James's words, and before you knew it, he bottomed out inside of you.
"I'm as deep as I can go," he said.
You took a few deep breaths, adjusting to the feeling of him fully inside of you. His cock was thicker than you were ready for, but you adjusted quickly, reminding yourself that you were okay.
"You're okay, gorgeous, you're okay," he cooed.
You blinked your eyes open and looked up at him. "I'm okay."
"You're okay."
"You're not gonna hurt me," you said like a mantra.
"Never."
You pulled James's head down to yours and kissed him, appreciative to be in this moment and to be okay.
"You can move."
James eyes widened for a split second before returning to normal, as he didn't want to show anything that may take the control of the moment away from you. "Are you sure?"
You smiled to show him that it was truly okay. "I'm sure."
"I'll go slow."
You nodded your head up and down in understanding.
James pulled out only a small amount before pushing back in. You furrowed your brows, so he continued at that soft pace, only ever pulling out in small bits.
Once your features softened, he said, "gonna move a little more. You stop me if you need to," and began to pull out even more.
After a few strokes, you grabbed his shoulder and said, "hold on. Don't pull out."
James stilled inside of you and awaited further instruction.
All you needed was a moment to remind yourself you were okay and breathe.
"Okay, okay, move."
"Are you-"
"Please move."
"I'm gonna pull most of the way out, and then go back in slowly, okay? Let me know if it's too much."
James did as he said he would, pulling out most of the way before pushing back in at a steady, gentle pace.
"You okay?" he checked in after a few strokes.
"I'm okay," you told him, watching his face so that you had something other than your memories to focus on.
"I love you," he told you.
You smiled. "I love you too."
He kissed you as he pulled out to his tip and then pushed back in.
"I love you so much," he said, peppering kisses along your neck and your jawline, "you're so beautiful."
You held him close to you as he said, "can I move faster?"
"Please," you said.
James began to move faster. It was still slower, but it was steady. You could tell James was holding back, but you knew that he wouldn't want you to lie about what you were ready for just for his sake.
"Fuck," you moaned.
James stilled. "What? What, did I hurt you? Are you okay? Too much?"
"I'm okay, I'm alright, I promise," you said.
"Do you want me to keep going?"
"Yes."
James kissed you as he moved. He fucked into you a little faster, and it took you a moment to adjust, but you swallowed the lump in your throat and were able to move past it. You thought about James, the feeling of him inside of you, the feeling of his fingers intertwined with yours, and the feeling of his mouth against yours, instead of thinking about the trauma and the memories in your head.
James desperately wanted to replace all of your bad memories with good ones, and he desperately wanted to be the one to make that happen.
You decided it might be worth it to let him try.
"Faster," you whimpered.
James kissed your neck as he moved faster, his cock hitting deep with each thrust of his hips. He began to grunt and moan into your ear, and his moans had your arousal out of control, almost overshadowing all other emotions.
Your back arched, and James gently rubbed your hip with his thumb to ground you and remind you that you were alright.
"Faster," you said again, and James searched your eyes, but you nodded your head yes.
He began to really fuck you, having wanted to for ages. He was fighting to maintain control over himself as he fucked you at a steady pace, moaning your name into your ear like a prayer.
"Holy fuck," he grunted, "you feel so fucking good, baby. I got you. You're safe."
You let out a strangled moan as your walls began to pulse around his cock. "Jamie, I-"
"You can let go whenever you need, baby, it's okay. I've got you. You're alright."
"Jamie-"
"Come for me, baby."
His words sent you over the edge. You squeezed around him like a vice as you came, your breath shuddering as your thighs shook slightly. James slowed down, waiting until your high was calmed down to pull out of you and give himself a few quick strokes.
"Can I come on you?" he rasped.
"Mhm," you said, and he immediately released himself onto your stomach.
After a few pulses of his hips as he bucked into his hand, he pressed is forehead against you again, your hair sweat-slick against your head.
"Are you okay? How are you feeling?" he asked through shallow breaths.
"I'm okay," you reassured.
"I love you so much," he whispered.
"I love you too," you replied, "thank you."
"No need to," he said, "I love you."
You laughed. "You just said that."
"I love you," he repeated, "now let me take care of you. Stay there."
James stood up and retrieved a small towel from the lavatory, running some hot water over it before he returned to the bed.
"Can I clean you up?" he asked.
You nodded your head and shuddered as he moved the towel slowly against you, then against your thighs, cleaning up any wetness left over. He then swiped the towel a few times across your lower stomach, cleaning his seed off of your skin.
He then flopped down next to you. You immediately turned to him, resting your head on his shoulder as you curled into a ball against his side.
He wrapped an arm around you and kissed the top of your head. "I got you, baby. You're safe."
#asks#james potter#james potter imagines#james potter x reader#james potter smut#james potter fanfic#marauders#marauders era#marauders era fanfic#marauders smut
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very generic swap AU for ava. Lots of yap below the cut where I talk about important changes and my thoughts about the differences between victim and Mitsi here.
couple important differences between her and victim
The big one is that she doesn't actually pursue revenge until she realises the guy who tortured her malewife would give her access to the guy who killed her malewife; before this, she basically has a big personality change, becomes a bit bitter, cold, managing with an iron fist etc and changes Rocket Corp's focus from general tech to arms/defence using blueprints victim had made.
unlike victim, who loses like 90% of his workforce and tanks the share prices, Mitsi instead sells to the gov because they are now obviously wanting some protection against terrorists. Whereas victim is too caught up in his own trauma to think of any other future for the company, Mitsi capitalises off the fear The Disappearance caused and quickly becomes the wealthiest figure in the entire Outernet. I think she’d be an absolutely terrifying boss using her old personality as more of a Customer Service mask. This would definitely be obvious though and I think it would make her more terrifying if anything
As to how victim dies in the disappearance, my best guess is once people start disappearing from the party, he realises it’s to do with Newgrounds very quickly and he rushes over there with the rocket he fixed probably not long after he landed. He gets there, finds her, and saves her in a final moment of self sacrifice. I think this is a good setup because it puts Mitsi (and Agent) in the exact position Agent is in canon whilst also allowing Mitsi to see who the culprit was. I think it’s a good (temporary…) ending for victim as well, since he dies on his own terms rather than that of his creator’s
It's not until The Showdown that she realises she has a proper shot at getting revenge AND getting victim back; I'm certain victim has at least told her a little about how he was made, and she realises that she could totally get that revenge she's been craving for years whilst also convincing victim's creator to "make him again". Another big difference between victim and Mitsi here is that whilst victim quite obviously stews in his rage and grief for an extensive period of time (and quite frankly never actually has any real proof TCO and Alan are working together and simply just assumes that until he gets that showdown clip), Mitsi doesn’t let it show until she knows it’s actionable i.e. she has solid proof that going after TCO would give her access to Alan.
Something else to add on here is that where victim is more or less using Mitsi’s death as an excuse for revenge, Mitsi is using her love for victim as a motivator. Because Mitsi simply doesn’t have the sort of background victim does (the disappearance is like THE traumatic event of her life rather than one of several), victim takes the emotional centre of her eventual desire for revenge. In canon, it’s pretty clear victim is more obsessed with getting revenge on Alan than getting revenge on TCO (still absolutely brutal towards TCO though, don’t get me wrong); his hatred for Alan/TCO outshines his love for Mitsi.
Big flaw here is that she doesn't really grasp how bad Alan was to victim; she’s so deadset on getting him back that she won’t stop and think “how might this actually be a bad thing”. I wouldn’t imagine he would be normal after being revived again and I think this would work as a good climactic point of conflict for like act 3. Where in canon there’s a good chance Mitsi will be revived no immediate consequences (thanks orange), victim would be redrawn the same way he had been all those years ago (and hence would not actually look like the victim Mitsi knew in the first place). A nice touch of “revived but came back wrong” to get Mitsi to hop off the revenge train. Another big aspect here is that victim would be like “what have you done to our company” much in the same way id assume Mitsi would in canon.
Overall I think the events we see in canon (other than the ones I have described) would play out about the same. I think it would be clearer that Rocket Corp. has a way bigger presence in the Outernet rather than being some weird creepy company that people vaguely remember as having a change in management some time after the disappearance. Mitsi would be probably more precise (and markedly less brutal) in capturing and extracting information from TCO because Mitsi doesn’t have the inferiority complex victim does. I think he’d still take a couple hits though, but Mitsi has no need to exemplify her control over TCO like victim does; she just needs to weaken him enough to make him talk.
That’s all i’ve really thought about so far. She’s spinning around in my mind like she’s in a microwave.
#ava#alan becker#animator vs animation#Mitsi ava#ava mitsi#my art#again I’m back with my conviction that mitsi is gonna be revived#It’s just got so much sauce about it#Makes me crazy and insane
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✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #438 )✅️
Please don t’ skip🇵🇸👶🏻




I am Dima from Gaza. I am 30 years old. I stand before you as a person trying to support my family of 3 members, me, my husband, and my young daughter. We are living in very difficult circumstances after the occupation launched the war on Gaza. We were displaced from our home and live in a tent that does not protect us from the cold of winter or the heat of summer. We live in extreme poverty due to the circumstances and there is no income. We are no longer able to provide the necessary supplies of food, drink and others due to the insane rise in prices. Thus, my source of livelihood was destroyed and we live in very difficult conditions in tents. It is difficult for me to find the words to describe what we face every day in the tents without food, medicine, or drinking clean water, along with the oppression, helplessness, psychological pressures, and daily traumas that everything causes. Around us and unable to care for our families, the fear of danger, disease and death never leaves us
Now, I find myself in this difficult situation, and I humbly ask for your help to save the lives of my family, especially my little girl, by getting us out of Gaza to Egypt and building a new life outside Gaza or helping us get money to buy the necessities we might be able to afford. Asking for help is not easy, but we had no choice because we want to survive and strive to rebuild our shattered lives. We are very grateful for any help you can offer, no matter how small, because your help will go a long way in alleviating our suffering. I hope you will share my story with your family and friends.
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It’s wild that you’re not OK with age play but you’re OK with saying that assault is a kink …. rape is not a kink! Why do so many people not understand that it’s CNC or it’s assault? Do y’all just do this for attention or what because I’m really confused on why you would think such a terrible thing could be considered a kink. Coming from someone that was raped before I was even five years old.. I just don’t think that we should sit here and act like rape is ever OK. like I said you’re looking for the term CNC, not rape. please stop contributing to men thinking rape is OK because they’re out here assaulting people in the real world when y’all do shit like this making it seem okay when it’s not. whether you think your little dumb posts are contributing to real world assaults or not, they absolutely are.
Hi there,
I can see you’re feeling really triggered by this, and I am going to explain my thinking, but first, I want to gently encourage you to take some time to self-soothe and take care of yourself, because engaging with this in a state of heightened emotion is not going to make you feel good.
I am answering this now out of the understanding that you are hurting, and this may be a good opportunity to share my perspective on these ideas, but I’m not going to answer any further asks about this. I don’t come on here to debate things.
Anyways, if you, or anyone else is interested in my take on this, here it is under the cut.
I’m going to address a couple different things here, with a reminder that is my perspective, and you absolutely don’t have to agree.
1. “You’re not okay with age play”
I actually am okay with age play, and there are some aspects that I, myself, enjoy. The reason it’s in my DNI is not bc of the kink itself, but bc of how much shit I’ve seen on tumblr of people actually being under age or seeking out under age people and using that type of tag/fantasy/etc. to do it, and I want nothing to do with that entire side of tumblr, as much as I can avoid it. Undoubtedly, there are people on here that are into age play that do so in consensual, risk-aware ways, and I support that, but I don’t actually engage with it online bc of what I said before.
2. “Rape is not a kink / it’s cnc or it’s assault”
So, we agree on this, except on the semantics of the language. Part of kink is exploring shameful and taboo topics in a safe, consensual way. It’s important to understand the limits of where play can become harm, absolutely, but I think that is very individual, and nitpicking how other people explore with no understanding of why they might be doing that is not productive.
With that understanding, it doesn’t make sense to me to say “well it’s okay if someone wants to be held down and have someone hurt them and not stop even if they say no, but they can’t say the word ‘rape’.” Language does matter, but it becomes counterproductive if we spend too much time prioritizing semantics over context and meaning. I prioritize safety, curiosity and connection, because that is what kink is about to me. I feel secure in myself that I can explore these dark fantasies without harming myself or other people, and that doing so is healthier than shaming myself for it.
3. “Do you do this for attention?”
I’m going to gently remind you here that I am also a person, who has my own set of trauma and bad experiences, and who chooses to process them in the way I choose to process them. I created this blog as a space to express myself in ways that I generally don’t get to in real life, because it’s not socially acceptable to talk about the scary/dark/repulsive thoughts that we all experience.
We are so conditioned to feel shame, and to shame others, and shame causes more damage than anything else does in humans, in my experience. Shame doesn’t make people change, it just makes them isolate and repress themselves, which leads to them dealing with their thoughts, emotions and urges in unhealthy ways. I choose to acknowledge the darker parts of people, and to be open about it so that we can learn to deal with it in healthier ways.
And yes, I do enjoy the attention, and I enjoy that people enjoy the content I create.
4. “You are contributing to real world assaults”
My question with this statement is basically: where do we draw the line? If I made the exact same posts and never used the word “rape”, would that make it okay? If I put a disclaimer on every single post, would that at all discourage someone who already thinks it’s okay to do these things without consent? Should I post about cnc at all, knowing it may be feeding into someone’s shitty ideas about the world? How much responsibility is on me, specifically, to prevent people from being assaulted?
Basically, it’s an endless rabbit hole. We have no control over other people. I choose not to take on the burden of feeling like it is my job to be perfect so that I never contribute to anything bad happening, because that is impossible. Instead, I choose to focus on the good I put into the world, and what feels good for me so that I can continue putting good into the world.
More importantly, if you want to make change in something as huge and pervasive as sexual assault, is your energy best spent lashing out at random people online? Or is it finding ways to help yourself heal, so that you don’t hurt yourself and other people? What about finding ways to support people who have through similar experiences? Or working through activism to support changing the systems at large?
I am very satisfied with the ways in which I put good into the world through educating people, supporting people and doing my best to be authentic. I have made a lot of meaning out of my suffering by helping other people.
If you genuinely want to make things better, find better ways to do it.
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✅️Vetted by @gazavetters, my number verified on the list is ( #438 )✅️
Please don t’ skip🇵🇸👶🏻




I am Dima from Gaza. I am 30 years old. I stand before you as a person trying to support my family of 3 members, me, my husband, and my young daughter. We are living in very difficult circumstances after the occupation launched the war on Gaza. We were displaced from our home and live in a tent that does not protect us from the cold of winter or the heat of summer. We live in extreme poverty due to the circumstances and there is no income. We are no longer able to provide the necessary supplies of food, drink and others due to the insane rise in prices. Thus, my source of livelihood was destroyed and we live in very difficult conditions in tents. It is difficult for me to find the words to describe what we face every day in the tents without food, medicine, or drinking clean water, along with the oppression, helplessness, psychological pressures, and daily traumas that everything causes. Around us and unable to care for our families, the fear of danger, disease and death never leaves us
Now, I find myself in this difficult situation, and I humbly ask for your help to save the lives of my family, especially my little girl, by getting us out of Gaza to Egypt and building a new life outside Gaza or helping us get money to buy the necessities we might be able to afford. Asking for help is not easy, but we had no choice because we want to survive and strive to rebuild our shattered lives. We are very grateful for any help you can offer, no matter how small, because your help will go a long way in alleviating our suffering. I hope you will share my story with your family and friends.
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Twitter AU Masterpost
I decided to compile a list of my Twitter posts, and just put in a little summary of what goes on in each so anyone who wants to can find whichever one they want.
Now also on AO3:
Part 1
Damian bullies Bruce and Dick messes with him, Bruce simps for Superman on main and Clark and Damian take on a hater in the replies, Jason wants to be verified and his siblings bully him a little.
Part 2
A fan of Nightwing's gets a picture of him and Robin and Red Robin battle it out in the replies while Flash stirs up shit, Donna posts a picture of Dick and the Fab Five take on a hater, Damian texts Dick about his profile picture, a lucky Gothamite snaps not one but two pictures of Batblob.
Part 3
Nightwing posts a picture and the people of Bludhaven take the time to appreciate him, Red Robin reminisces about kicking Red Hood and Red Hood gets bullied some more, Batman posts a picture of baby Robin!Dick and everyone coos over it, Riddler questions how Batman got his Twitter handle.
Part 4
A warning is issued for Gotham vigilantes about Batman and Catwoman getting busy and Nightwing's trauma about this is addressed, the debate over Batman's sex life is put to rest, Talia issues a clarification and sets the record straight, Gotham discusses Bruce's emo era.
Part 5
Lex hateposts about superheroes and Bruce annihilates him in the replies, there's an investigation into the matter of Luthor's handle, a mysterious troll makes an appearance, Dick questions Clark, Bruce reveals his and Clark's shenanigans from Dick's Robin days, and a hater is given even more power.
Part 6
Lex is salty and Lois and Clark tear him apart, Superman posts a picture and is accused of plagiarism, Nightwing starts a trend, Babs takes issue with her overuse of coffee being questioned.
Part 7
Oracle and Red Hood reveal the story of why Joker is banned from Twitter, the people of Gotham reminisce about an old tradition, Bruce gets roasted by Alfred, Damian has a wholesome interaction.
Part 8
Damian bonds with Dick and gets trolled by Steph, Spoiler finally creates an account, Spoiler poses a question to the people of Gotham, Batman is bullied by his kids and a billionaire.
Part 9
Spoiler gets a present, mistakes have consequences, Red Robin questions Nightwing's decisions, a resident of North Dakota has a life changing experience.
Part 10
Some well-meaning Gothamites stand up for Red Hood and Oracle gives a history lesson, an old face makes a less than triumphant return, the fab five have some fun, a relatable photo of Batman reveals something more and a new player enters the picture.
Part 11
Harley Quinn beats up Joker, Flash is disgusted by Nightwing, Batman's hypocrisy is revealed, Superman has some fun at Batman's expense.
Part 12
Black Canary fondly remembers a better time, Green Arrow confronts Batman, Green Arrow issues an apology, Oliver schemes and plots, a well-kept secret is finally revealed.
Part 13
Arsenal reveals a personal secret, the people discuss some new revelations, the fab five weigh in on Arsenal's problems, Nightwing takes a stand.
Part 14
The Gotham villains share some opinions, Two-Face and Riddler have an argument, Flash finally picks a side, Green Arrow evades responsibility.
Part 15
Some observers share some hot takes, the Superfam witnesses a breakdown, Lois asks Bruce for help, Dick puts an end to the ongoing feud, everyone starts to move on.
Part 16
Deathstroke shares a story of a failed assassination, someone loses their Twitter privileges, the Court of Owls tries to recruit Nightwing, Talon gets more than he bargained for, some very recent history repeats itself.
Part 17
Bruce is a meme, The League has some concerns about their monthly budget, Nightwing's personality confuses everyone who knows him.
Part 18
Bruce's mistakes reveal his most defining character trait, an early present for Superman causes chaos in the present, Superman's reactions to the goings on lead to some pleasant destructive results, Bruce's inability to understand memes is discussed
Part 19
Red Hood shares an embarrassing opinion, Red Robin starts an argument, Superman wins massively, the superhero community can agree on one thing.
Part 20
The villains discuss their least favorite Robin, Nightwing defends his pettiness, Red Hood endures some misplaced blame, Tim explains his masterful plan, Jason finally gets a win.
Part 21
The Court of Owls is humbled, Nightwing's friends face a problem, a culprit is found responsible, Arsenal gets in hot water.
Part 22
One of Bruce's childhood obsessions is revealed, Riddler tries to call out Batman and runs his mouth online, Riddler issues an apology, the Wayne kids' comments about Bruce eccentric habits reveals their own inadequacies.
Part 23
A tweet is posted by a concerning individual, the heroes find a surprising ally, Superman is the victim of a prank, Superman fires back.
#DC#DC Comics#Dick Grayson#Bruce Wayne#Clark Kent#Jason Todd#Damian Wayne#Tim Drake#Barbara Gordon#Cassandra Cain#Batman#Superman#Lois Lane#Nightwing#Wally West#Alfred Pennyworth#Wayne Family Adventures#Red Hood#Robin
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