#deadpool x gn! reader

[dxxdhood]

convince me

pairing: wade wilson x gn!reader

summary: deadpool forced me to write smut where the two of you act out the position you see in an,,,, ahem,,, erotic video.

tags: smut (18+), fingering, penetration, slight degradation, finger sucking, dom!wade wilson, sub!reader

wc: 1.2k

“Babe, listen, the mistake we made was going to White Castle sober.”

“Excellent defense, Mr. Wilson. You ever think about switching to a career in law?”

“Can’t, my tagline doesn’t transfer across professions. Calling yourself the Lawyer with the Mouth is like saying you’re the fanfic writer who’s horny.”

He manages to make you chuckle, as usual, even though you were supposed to still be annoyed about your frankly terrible dinner. But walking back into your apartment has you less inclined to hold grudges, somehow. It’s probably the promise of cuddling up in bed together. Either that, or it’s all the hilarious nicknacks Wade keeps dropping off in your living room. The fucked-up Pikachu plush where the eyes and cheeks are swapped is particularly getting to you.

“Wait for me in bed, alright?” you say.

“Oh?” Wade waggles his non-existent eyebrows. “Is this little cutie planning something?”

“Yeah, planning to spend an hour in the bathroom,” you shake your head and fail to hold back a smile. “Find us a good movie to watch while I’m out.”

.

To nobody’s surprise, you both end up on a site that starts in p and ends in hub.

“Nobody can get into that position,” your inner critic bursts out of you at the best of times. 

You can feel Wade smirking from where his face is tucked into your neck, cuddling you from behind. “Well, in the words of Clue 1985,” he runs a scarred hand down your waist. “Sure, they can. Let me show you.”

He nips at your neck, kissing at the sensitive skin of  your jaw. You exhale, trying to calm the burning sensation building in your gut, but you struggle to stay patient when he starts sucking a bruise into your collarbone. 

“Wade!” you gasp, trying and failing to stop your body from grinding your ass against him. He responds in turn, moving closer to you, his hard cock slowly rubbing against your ass.

He flips over, now perched on top of you and caging you in, arms on either side of your head as he kisses you. Every time he deepens the kiss, makes you feel like you’ll never want to come back up for air, he fucks with you by biting at your bottom lip or scratching his teeth against your gums. 

You bang your fists against the mattress a few too many times, understandably annoyed with his teasing, so Wade grips both of your wrists with one hand and holds them above you, plastering them to the headboard.

The action has you moaning into his mouth, and the bottom half of your body continues to move on its own, grinding against the air now. You feel so desperate, your face heats up thinking about how much of a mess you already are for him. Wishing he would close the new gap between your bodies, you arch your back off the bed, trying to feel more of his body against yours.

He giggles, watching you wriggle around. “Hold your horses there, cutie. We’re not even at the good part yet.” 

Wade brings a hand up to your face, rubbing his thumb across your cheek. You’re so thrown off by the sudden show of affection that you don't even process him slipping a rough finger into your mouth.

“Suck,” he commands. And something about Wade only using a single word when he’s usually so noisy has you whining as you circle his finger with your tongue.

His big brown eyes are glued to your lips, watching them worship his finger like he’s all you’ve ever wanted. Around the time you start bobbing up and down his finger, he slips it out of you and pats your cheek.

“Good baby, such a good slut for me,” he whispers as he slides your shorts and underwear off in one motion. He slicks up the finger and you with a small bottle of lube and carefully starts slipping into your entrance.

“What? Where’d you even–” you snap your gaze sideways to your bedside table, which is curiously unopened. 

He taps the front pocket of his pants, “Never leave home without it.” Did he really always have that in his pocket? At the fucking White Castle?!

He talks as he fingers you, pressing against your walls casually as if he isn’t making you lose your mind. “You look impressed, babe. Tell me you’re not impressed.”

“Oh my god, shut up!” you groan as he reaches deeper inside you, adding another finger and stretching you further.

“As you wish,” he pumps his fingers at a faster pace, gripping your hip with one hand and bringing his face to your chest so he can lick at a nipple. A spark shoots down your spine and you can feel him chuckle as your body starts to shiver.

His fingers are pounding against your insides. You can feel yourself throbbing around him, clenching and wanting more, so he adds a third finger and fucks you at a punishing pace. You bite your own lip to keep back what was going to be an embarrassing moan, but he nips at your nipple and you let out a small shout.

Just as he finally starts reaching at that spot in you that has you seeing stars, he slips his fingers out. You're going to berate him for throwing you off just as the pleasure was building, but he already has his cock placed at your entrance, so close to sliding in.

“You ready?” he whispers, and you nod so quickly you think you may have pulled a muscle.

 He releases a breathy moan as he slides all the way in you, reaching right where you need him but still stubbornly not giving it to you.

“Wade, move!” you cry. He responds by smacking your ass and pulling you into his lap. You’re seated on his thighs as he throws your legs over his shoulders, folding you in half as he starts thrusting in and out of you. The position has you feeling so much closer to him, like he has free reign to stroke every part of you.

You grip onto his shoulders and try to interlock your ankles together to help you hold onto him as he pumps his cock into you faster. Wade moans so deep it sounds like a growl and you clench around him at the sound.

“Fuck!” he cries before kissing you, harshly making out as his hips continue to piston inside you. You can feel the vibrations of his moans against your own mouth, and it’s enough to make your muscles twitch around him again.

“Shit, Wade,” you whisper. “I’m going to–”

“Yeah, babe?” he says in between kissing you. “Go, do it. Come for me.”

You rip away from his mouth and release with a moan, your entire body burning as you quiver around his cock. He leans his head into your neck and bites down on the juncture between your neck and shoulder as he comes, filling you so completely you never want him to leave. 

You finally come down from your orgasm and relax in his lap, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. Wade is still panting, but he keeps kissing across your face, smiling when you reciprocate and kiss his forehead. 

“You’re making every thought that passes through my head sound like an ABBA song,” he whispers, eyes closed.

“That might be the closest thing to a love confession I’ve gotten out of you.”

[paranormal-pajama-phantom]

headcannons for deadpool dating peter parkers older sibling??

yesss this is such a good idea

Deadpool X Peter Parker's Older Sibling

Peter would definitely not want you dating or even going near Deadpool

he thinks Wade is too much of a risk and will put you in danger

But no matter how hard Peter tries to convince you he never can

He starts out very cold to Wade but eventually just accepts that this is his new fate

Constantly gets into fights with Wade but the more time you and Wade are together the friendlier the fights become

Deadpool on the other hand thinks annoying Peter is hilarious and continues to do so, but he also tries to make sure not to cross a line

They're never gonna be best friends but if you do enough bonding exercises with them then they at least wont hate each other

Come back soon! 💌

[montimer]

Deadpool x reader Nsfw hc's

Gn!reader, smut ! Both dom 'n sub

Sub!Wade

He's not embarrassed about being loud, he'll moan endlessly

Hes probably in his costume and mask on (mask is pulled up to his nose) so you can't see it but his eyes roll back every time he feels you hitting the right spot

Loves the fact that you can take control over him

The more he loses himself in pleasure the more he'll obey you

Hes into almost anything, as long as ur comfy and enjoying this too

Tie him down and make him beg for you to touch him

Touching his chest will make him feel very loved

Tease and bite his nipples, he will give out whimpers and high pinched moans

Kiss him until his gasping for air

The way you slowly move ur hand along his skin makes his head spin

Praise him and tell him how good he is

You can make him cum sometime with out even touching him

Or call him ur slut/whore and degenerate him. He will beg for you to punish him

Kiss him all over, it will make him into a flustered mess

He'll let you use toys on him. Put a vibrator in him and play with it, it'll make him go crazy.

He'll throw his head back as he cums

As an aftermath kiss him passionately and tell him how much you love him and what a good boy he was, he needs it really. Tho it might make him aroused again, maybe a round two?

Dom!Wade

He doesn't care what pose you guys are in, he just wants to feel you

He will make you suck his dick while praising you, groaning and low moans leaving his mouth.

He'll wrap his arms around you and hold you close

If its in doggy style, he will bite you from behind, sucking and leaving love bites on ur neck

He loves it when you ride him, he will massage ur chest. When his close he will grab you by the waist and fasten the pace

He'll make you moan out what you want and might tease you a bit

He cant help it, you just look so cute begging for him

He will be gentle if you ask him. Hes a softie for you

He will want you to sit on his face, no matter your weight he will want ur full weight on him. He'll eat you out/suck you hungrily, his hands wrapped around ur legs to keep you there.

He'll moan out ur name so lovingly as he cums

As aftermath he'll cuddle you close, burying his head into ur chest.

Bonus funny lil hc:

He'll try bringing romantic atmosphere by having the bed covered with roses and him laying on bed in 'paint me like one of your french girls' pose

[youronlydarlin]

🥰Hey can you write a fic for me. Simon buys thongs and he puts them on, he’s all naked with just thongs on. He also lives alone and makes a sexy slow walk to his bedroom door trying to be seductive and he lick his lips and bites it as he gives his ass a little shake. Then Leon jumps and hangs himself by his thongs on the door giving himself a wedgie and he’s screaming loud. His balls squeezed from the thong and his bare ass on display as he hangs from his thongs receiving the wedgie, he screams but he enjoys it

Hi, what?

You stand in the corner, confused, bewildered, afraid. Half eaten pizza falling to the floor at the sight of... What ever the fuck this is..

It's 3am and you're convinced that what you're seeing is a hallucination, a twisted trick your sleep addled mind bestowed on you as the consequence of not properly taking care of yourself. But of all the fucking horror your brain could've conjured, why this? Was this some sort of secret fantasy that you've locked away and neglected? Tossed to the back and left to starve like that one artificial pet you used to play on your moms phone when you were 7? What was so enticing about the image of Ghost from the hit game Call of duty wearing a thong? With the special participation of Leon Kennedy from the world renowned classic Resident Evil game?

It's all just too much, your knees threaten to give out and you're wondering if it's really too late to get therapy. All you wanted was to go back to your room with a snack, and no, Ghost's ass does not count.

It's like watching a car crash, no matter what you do you can't stop looking. Like you're not in control of your eyes. Forced to look up at the morbid scene that's forever engraved into your memory.

When all of a sudden Deadpool crashes in through the window, he carries you to the basement where you have a hot steamy threesome with Wolverine.

And they all lived happily ever after...

a/n: I can't believe after months of disappearance this is what breaks my no fic streak. I'm deeply sorry to anyone who reads this

Yours, truly

–Dolly

[pandagyaru]

This isn't 2023 or whatever you just said

Deadpool x 2009 Gender neutral reader

Early 2000s au with my favorite man with a very big uh

Personality.... yeah personality lolz

Anyways my thought process is like, what if dp goes back in time on accident and needs to find out what year it is. Like 2009 or something. But he meets the prettiest little human, aka you dollies!

P.s: Your apartment is like all rooms in one, kinda like dps in the movie, except your bathroom is private, LMAO.

P.p.s: the reader is very no descriptive. Besides the fact they wear glasses!

A swirling noise fills the dark void of your open space apartment. You sit up in bed and slide your sleeping mask up on your forehead. A purple and orange hole in the abyss that is your living room. You blink the eye crusties and boogers away as you stare at it, blinking like a frog as you get used to the strange light. A red and black clad body shoots through the portal, landing on your comforter.

"WHAT THE FUCK" You shout, crawling up to your headboard. You hurry and flick on your bedside lamp to get a good look at the dead body? You don't know if the person is dead or not, but God, you didn't wanna find out. It suddenly sits up with a gasp, its head snapping towards you. It points at you.

"YOU! WHERE AM I?" The voice is masculine, so you're assuming it's a guy. I mean, you're hoping what you're assuming is right. It may be 2009, but you'd hate to misgender this stranger in your bed.

"Uh, you're in my apartment. May I ask where the fuck you came from?" You ask, leaning over and grabbing your glasses of your nightstand, slipping them on your face.

"Right, your apartment. I came from a mansion, not mine. Like a friends mansion" He explains, looking around at all your "ancient" looking belongings. "Say is it 2023?"

"Huh? 2023? No, it's 2009. Are you okay? Did you hit your head on my bed post? Like, I understand you like spawned in my apartment, but I dont think time travel is possible. doctor who" you joke, nudging your foot at him. His head whips to you.

"2009?" He asks. You nod and pull out your iPhone 3G, turning it on and showing him the date.

"Yeah. It's also 3 am. So, if you're staying, my couch pulls out into a bed. I do have to warn you, I have work at like 9 am" You tell him, getting up incase you have to pull the couch bed out. He looks over at your couch and then back at you.

"Or we could share this cozy ass bed you got yourself here." He flirts, leaning back on your bed and trying to seem seductive. You blush.

"I'll pull out the couch" you mutter, speed walking over to the couch. You bend over to grip the metal bars under the couch cushions.

"You're supposed to remove the cushions' first sugar butt" He says, standing up and walking over to you. Your face feels hot at the petname. "Its like a sleepover! All we need is movies and snacks"

"I have work, remember?" You state, picking up and throwing the couch cushions. The bed sliding out and setting itself down on the hardwood floor. He looks over at you.

"Yeah, at 9am. When did you go to bed?" He asks. You look over at him.

"Like 8pm. I was exhausted today"

"So you've had 7 hours of sleep. If we watch one movie, you'll get like 5 more hours. You'll be fine" He says, plopping his leather clad fat ass (I just had to specify that btw) on the couch bed. You think it over. You sigh.

"Fine, but we're watching catwoman. Halle Berry is gorgeous in that movie" You say, walking over to your DVD rack. You crouch down to read all the titles of movies you have. You find the movie you want and peek over your TV stand to your DVD player. You put the movie in. "Have you ever seen this movie?" You ask, walking back over to thr couch bed. Deadpool wades (HA GET IT?) over his response. The truth is he hasn't seen it in fucking forever.

"I have, but it's been a while," He answers.

"Oh yeah how long? I watched it the other day"

"About 15 years. Give or take"

"It came out 5 years ago..."

"Right right its 2009"

"Wait so you're actually from the future? Holy shit. What's life like?" You jump up and grab his shoulders.

"Technology is definitely better then what you have in this place. I'll tell ya that for free. God your phone is God awful" He jokes, smashing his hand on your face.

"Hey, that's the latest phone! I'm cool!" You shout, grabbing his wrist, trying to pull his hand off your face. He laughs. "I know we just met. But would you be able to show me what 2023 looks like?" You ask, looking into the whites of his mask.

"Uh, i don't know if it transports more then one person. But I could try." He mutters, watching the way your eyes light up.

The night ended with you falling asleep on him halfway through the movie.

LOVE YA!

[luvghostie]

Hello! I was wondering if you could maybe make headcannons of Deadpool with a S/O that struggles with anxiety? If not that's fine!

ɪ ʟᴏᴠᴇ ᴛʜɪs ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛ ᴀ ʟᴏᴛ ᴀᴄᴛᴜᴀʟʟʏ!! ɴᴏᴛ ᴏɴʟʏ ᴀᴍ ɪ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ ᴛᴏ sᴘʀᴇᴀᴅ sᴏᴍᴇ ғᴏʀᴍ ᴏғ ᴄᴏᴍғᴏʀᴛ ʙᴜᴛ ɪᴛ’s ᴇxᴄɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴡʀɪᴛɪɴɢ ғᴏʀ ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ʀᴇǫᴜᴇsᴛᴇᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀᴀᴄᴛᴇʀ. ʜᴏᴘᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ<𝟹

╰┈➤ 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐏𝐎𝐎𝐋 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀 𝐒/𝐎 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐆𝐆𝐋𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐀𝐍𝐗𝐈𝐄𝐓𝐘.ೃ࿐

ɢɴ ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

ᴛᴡ: ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ, ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ, ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀɴɪᴄ ᴀᴛᴛᴀᴄᴋs

Wade tries to be there the best he can. Between fighting and regenerating lost limbs, it’s rather hard at times. Missing parts don’t stop him from comforting you. Even when he’s getting his ass beat his main thought is if you’re okay.

He knows the signs of your anxiety kicking in. Whether it’s no eye contact, going quiet, or short breaths, he catches on right away.

If it's just you and him, Wade will move you to a more remote or comforting place. There are times when you have panic attacks while the x-force is around. Rusty is the main priority of the team, well... Most of the team. As soon as Wade sees you shaking or breathing rapidly he'll forget all about the boy.

If your boyfriend isn't there while you have a panic attack (which doesn't happen a lot) Yukio is the next best person to go to. She's kind and very patient with you as she understands what's happening.

Arms wrapped around each other cuddling as close as possible, it's the way he calms you down. Hell, Wade will even lay you on top of him if it helps.

You'll probably have tons of stuffed animals. Even if you don't need them he still insist it's nice having one.

If someone caused your anxiety to peek I promise you they'll be gone soon. That's if the person isn't of value to you. He might be crazy but, he won't kill your mom or dad without consent from you. Wade would 100% kill anyone else though, even if they're part of the team. Love and loyalty over anything else.

Many many times he's gotten shit for putting you before the mission. He doesn't take it out on you though, never does. In fact, he'd die defending and protecting you if necessary.

Overall, Wade loves you a lot and will do anything to make you feel better. It doesn't matter if it takes minutes, hours, or days he has time to wait. Even if it was a century he'll wait by your side because you're worth it.

[aliorsboxostuff]

MALE!READER WRITING REQUESTS (TEMP) CLOSED !

Come check out my works bellow!

I've seen how devastatingly little male!reader fics are in my big fandoms, and as a gay man i feel like i should provide us with said fics! Which is why I'm opening my ask box for any and all male!readers and gn!readers requests! (Including anon requests!)

RULES:

I WON'T ACCEPT FEMALE!READER FICS REQUESTS. I’m a trans-masc genderfluid, so male!Readers or gn!Readers are the ones that I usually write and am comfortable with. It’s hard looking for male!reader fics, especially in female-dominated fandoms, that's why I'm opening requests for any and all sad and touch-starved dudes out there! If these don't fit your preferences then you are free to leave, and if you're a female user/reader entering my blog, I hope you remain respectful about the fics I write or get requests for, thank you.

NOTE: I NEVER USE ANY FORM OF Y/N IN MY FICS. I find them kind of weird for me to write so my fics are mostly 1st Person POV. I write most of my fics based off on Fixations that may last a couple weeks, months, years. If you've requested something but havent seen the fic, that might be because i've lost interest!

What i will write:

male!reader

gender-neutral reader

Ftm! Reader

Smut 

Platonic or Romantic relationships

angst

fluff

comfort

headcanons

nsfw alphabets

drabbles

Series

Age gap (CHARACTERS MUST BE OVER THE AGE OF 19)

What I Won't write:

female!reader

underage characters (anyone under 17)

necrophilia

real people

pedophilia

Omorashi

age play

rape/non-con

incest

offensive/harmful things

THE CHARACTER LIST! Or, characters I will definitely write about if requested!

PEDRO PASCAL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE

Ezra (prospect)

Joel Miller

Javi Gutierrez

Javier Peña

Frankie Morales

Whiskey (Kingsman)

Tim Rockford (yes from the Ad)

TOP GUN 86’ & TOP GUN: MAVERICK

Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd

Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin

Bradley ‘Rooster’ Bradshaw

MARVEL & XMCU

Miguel O'hara (ATSV)

Hobie Brown (Platonic/fluff only)

Pavitr Prabhakar (Platonic/fluff only)

Kurt Wagner (xmcu)

Loki Laufeyson

Bucky Barnes

Moon Knight System

Deadpool

Daredevil

Eddie and Venom (They come as a pair)

BULLET TRAIN

Tangerine

Ladybug

Jujutsu Kaisen

Satoru Gojo

Nanami Kento

Higuruma Hiromi

Ryoumen Sukuna

Yuuji Itadori (Fluff)

Toge Inumaki (Fluff)

DETROIT: BECOME HUMAN

Connor (RK800)

Nines (RK900)

COD MODERN WARFARE II

Simon 'Ghost' Riley

John 'Soap' Mactavish

König

HONORABLE MENTIONS

Chris Knight (Real Genius)

Hannibal (NBC)

The Corinthian (Netflix Sandman)

Leon S. Kennedy (RE4 Remake)

Luis Serra (RE4 Remake)

Understand that these are all works of fiction; I am perfectly fine with writing for topics including mafias, mobs, murder, organized crime, war, mental illness, abuse, etc.; but please do not romanticize them in any way. Reading it is fine; please don't romanticize them in your head.

If any of this provided information may seem confusing or have any questions, feel free to drop a DM and I will explain further! I will try to post fic requests as regularly and as fast as I can!

For refrence, these are fics i've written and uploaded to my AO3!

Steven Grant/Male Reader fluff

XMEN Family Pride Fic

Steven Grant/Male Reader Smut #1

Steven Grant/Male Reader Smut #2

Deadpool/Male Reader Fluff Confession

Deadpool/Ftm Reader Smut

Robert 'Bob' Floyd/Male Reader Fluff

Robert 'Bob' Floyd/Male Reader sunshine x grumpy

Tangerine/Male Reader Fluff/Angst Mature

Tangerine/Male Reader Mature

Tangerine/Male Reader (Escort Fic) Mature

Tangerine/NB Reader Teen&Up

Tangerine/Gender-Fluid Reader (Coming out fic)

Francisco "Catfish" Morales/Husband Reader

Joel Miller/Ftm Reader & Ellie Fluff

Joel Miller & Kid Reader

Joel Miller/Ftm Reader & Tess Fluff a bit Angst

Miguel O'hara/Male Reader Fluff

Miguel O'hara/Male Reader Spicy Fluff

Miguel O'hara/Male&GN Reader Spicy Fluff

Miguel O'hara/Male&GN Reader Fluff slight Angst

Din Djarin/Boyfriend Reader Smut

And the Short Fics/Drabbles on Tumblr!

Pulse (Tangerine/M!reader)

Deep Dive (Namor/M!reader)

Hold Tight (Tangerine/gn Reader)

Ner Mesh'la (Din Djarin/Male Reader)

Trinkets (Kurt Wagner/Gender-fluid Reader)

"Anythin' you wanna be." (Hobie Brown & Ftm Reader)

Little Nap! (Meows Morales Drabble)

Anyone that starts an argument about me writing exclusively for men and gender neutrals alike will get a very passive-aggressive and sarcastic reply to your request. There is an abundance of female!readers fics and writers who provide them; I am just here for people that takes a whole day searching for good male!reader fics. IF you do start an unnecessary rant about my fics or my writing preferences at a given moment; I’ve been in fandom spaces for the last 7 years of my life and run on pure manic adrenaline, I will throw hands. 

Without further ado, REBLOG TO TELL ALL DUDES! I OPEN MY FLOOD GATES! WELCOME ALL MALE!READER REQUESTS!

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Manic Monday - Wade Wilson X GN Reader

Title: Manic Monday

Wade Wilson X GN Reader

Additional Characters: Blind Al (Mentioned), Reader's mother (Mentioned), Wolverine (Mentioned), Professor X (Mentioned), and Reader's work (Mentioned)

Requested by Anon!

WC: 1,475

Warnings: Overworking Reader, cursing, Wade, slight mention of toxic mother, Reader needs a break (take a break reader), slight suggestiveness cause it's Wade, breif mention of death... cause it's Wade, partial nudity but like not really, plethera of nicknames, a bit of cat and mouse, blood mentioned, insinuations, movie references, slight angst, and fluff

Letting out a breath, you pushed open your door, shuffling in tiredly before kicking it closed with your foot.  You dropped your stuff by the couch and flopped down on it face-first. The soft leather of the couch enveloped you as you let out an exhausted groan. It was late. Way past midnight. You should have been asleep hours ago. But you couldn't help yourself. You had work. Suddenly, your phone alarm began to buzz and play 'Walking On Sunshine' by Katrina & The Waves, signaling for you to get up once more. Gaining strength, you pushed off the couch, blindly digging in your bag to grab your phone and turn off the alarm, ignoring the many texts from your… Less than a doting mother. Shutting up your phone, you let out a defeated sigh. Before pushing up off the couch, you quickly made your way to the fridge, grabbed your pre-made snack, and took a long swig of water from your bottle, draining half of it.

After putting everything away, you ran to your room, ready to get dressed for work, but you stopped briefly; spotting Wade on your bed. He was dressed in his crime-fighting suit, wearing your silk robe, reading a Highlights magazine. You shook your head, moving to your closet, and grabbing your next set of work clothes. 

"What are you doing?" You asked, quickly slipping on your Y/F/C scrub shirt, as Wade continued to flip through the pages of the magazine.

"Oh, nothing, darling," He spoke in a terrible posh accent. What movie were you in? Gone With The Wind? "Just doing my nighttime reading... Wishing my beautiful partner would just call in sick... And stay home with me. Oh! I found the hidden boomerang!”

You sighed, checking your watch before looking up at Wade. "You know I can't do that. You don't have a real job, so I have to be the breadwinner around here. You know... So we have money to have chimichangas?"

Sighing, Wade pulled off his mask, setting down his magazine. "I have a real job." He whined, before hopping out of the bed, making you realize he had been in your bed, with his damn crocs on. “Besides, I bet if we beg enough to the Professor, he’ll give us a nice wad of cash.”

You furrowed your eyebrows, running a hand through your hair, "Who? Uh, nevermind. Wade... What did I say about your crocs?" 

Wade looked down at his feet, looking back up at you, "Uh... That they go great with my eyes?"

You sighed, checking your watch again before you headed out of the bedroom, "I literally don't have time for this."

Wade scrambled over to you, grabbing your arm. "Come on, when have you had time for a break? Kicked up your feet, get a massage? I give great massages."

"I had a couple of hours yesterday. Thanks for the offer. Now, please let go. I don't want to be late."

Wade shook his head stubbornly, "Call in sick." He ordered softly, "You have been working nonstop. You need to rest. Look, you have little bags under your pretty eyes, you look like you haven't slept since last night. You're going to collapse, sweetheart, and then where will we be? You’ll be dead, I’ll die cause I don’t understand how to not be dependent on someone, and then I’ll have to move back in with Blind Al."

Your mouth snapped shut as Wade released your arm. But as you stared at him, seeing how serious he was... You shook your head. "You're never this serious, love." You mentioned, "Why all of the sudden are you being so..." You searched for the word, "So clingy? I mean, you are always clingy... But are you not feeling well?"

Wade shrugged. "No, I'm fine, honey butter biscuit. Just really worried about you. I thought you'd appreciate getting some sleep instead of sitting behind a desk all day, or going around helping people. Tiring those feet of yours..."

You sighed, headed back down the hall, "Can't today, Wadey. Too much to do. I can't be late." You called out to him before Wade grabbed your hand again and twirled you around as if you were dancing, and right into his chest. "Wade..." You scolded, "They could fire me... And then I'll be really ticked off."

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn, call in sick."

You sighed, before getting an idea, looking up with a small smile, "Wadey, would you please let me go to work?" You cooed, batting your eyelashes, "If you let me finish what I need to do, I'll promise to take a nap, I swear."

"Hmm, you really think I'd believe that?"

Smiling mischievously, you leaned forward, giving Wade a quick kiss on the lips before backing away slowly. "I'm sorry, but I have to do this, babe." You said before bolting to your bag, with Wade close behind.

Grabbing your bag, you ran behind the couch, Wade on the other side. Heavily breathing, you clutched your bag to your chest. Glancing at the front door, you looked back at Wade, feeling like a child as you tried to figure a way to get to the door without him getting you; but it seemed pointless.

"Don't do this, Y/N." Wade began, staring intently at you, "You're not going to win, I've seen how this ends, I’ve read the book adaptation."

You laughed humorlessly before nodding towards the window. "It's not the only way I can get to my car."

Wade looked at the window and back at you, "Nope, you're not doing that. Not while I live and breathe, and you know I can't die, sugar plum."

You suddenly pointed behind Wade, your eyes wide in shock, "Oh my god! Is that Wolverine!?" Wade was quick to turn around, eyes wide as he looked around.

"Where!? I must see if he wants to be in my new movie!"

With that, you ran to the front door, you grinned in victory as you reached for the door, before you felt two arms wrap around you, pulling you back inside. Twirling you out, as if you were dancing once more, Wade twirled you back into his chest. Turning, he dipped you, his hand landing on your thigh as he pulled it up against him. From this position, you felt like you had just finished dancing the Salsa. His face hovering over yours, his lips just barely brushing against your own. His breath fanned over your face, making you shiver. Before you could even say a word, Wade spun you around, where you landed on the couch with a small 'oof.'

"Wade..." You whined, "You're mean." You sighed, as Wade flopped on the couch, pulling you into his lap.

"You're the meany-pants in this situation, my dear." Wade began, "You made me think my one true love was here..."

You sighed again, crossing your arms, "Fine. I'll call out of work tonight and tomorrow." You huffed, trying to pry him off of you.

"Really? Oh, babydoll, you won't regret this! Tomorrow, we're watching The Wizard Of Oz and eating popcorn." Wade held onto you as if your life depended on it before you grabbed your phone and called your boss.

After that quick call, you went back to crossing your arms, relaxing slightly, you wrinkled your nose, "Wade, you stink."

Wade paused, lifting an arm up to sniff his armpit, "Do I?"

You nodded, "Yes, like blood, sweat, and tears. And now I probably smell like blood. And my bed is probably dirty as all hell because of you..." 

Wade hummed, “Tears of my enemies,” He said before squeezing you closer to him, "Well, I'll take a shower then... But only as long as you join me~" He winked at you, as you rolled your eyes.

"Fine, but no funny stuff."

Wade huffed, "You're no fun."

"Never am." You argued, "Now, come on, let's get cleaned up. I'm hungry."

Wade cheered, standing up and taking your hand, "Near, far, in our motor car! Oh what a happy time we'll spend. Bang Bang Chitty, Chitty Bang Bang! Our fine four fendered friend!~" He sang as he skipped down the hall with you, dragging you along. "Oh you pretty, Chitty Bang Bang, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. We love you!~"

You sighed, shaking your head as you smiled. Wade was so weird, but you loved that about him. You loved how protective he was, how determined he was; he wanted to protect you. He was perfect... Kinda. Sometimes you don't know who he's talking to when you enter a room. But, nonetheless, you loved the man. You loved everything about him... Even if sometimes he was a bit goofy. You couldn't imagine your life without him. You didn't think you ever could...

[notwonderlandsworld]

Deadpool's reaction to s/o who does parkour.

I can't even imagine anyone's reaction to figuring out someone they know does parkour. Like either calm, or overly excited I'd assume.

He's kinda OOC (or a lot lol)

pairing(s): Wade Wilson/Deadpool x GN!Reader

warning(s): I mean it's parkour wtf would be a warning, cursing? OH DEFINITELY NOT PROOFREAD AT ALL IDEK WTF I WROTE

word count: 1.2k

Honestly what can be said? Wade jumped off buildings and even sliced himself with them sometimes, but never really bothered with tricks or such. He had never heard or seen parkour before, so the concept became sort of new to him when he found out about it.

You remember how he had called you 2 months ago, claiming he had a dire emergency and you needed to head home now. After leaving work due to a ‘family emergency’ and breaking some speeding laws, you made it to the apartment in less than 20 minutes.

Let’s just say you didn’t know what you were expecting. Of course Wade would call you for something like this.

Glaring at him with hands on your hips, “Really? I left work early for this?” You dragged a palm along our face. Wade looked at you with ice cream smearing his lifted mask and mouth, confused.

“What babe? Look!”

The spoon flicked some of the melted dessert onto the rug as your boyfriend gestured to what was on the TV screen. Seems like he was on youtube watching a bunch of guys jumping on rooftops, building ledges, etc.

“Those parkour videos better not be giving you any ideas.”

Great. Now you gave him some ideas, (Y/N).

A week passed and you thought Wade had gotten over the small interest. Just another thing in the past, right?

Wrong.

You kept finding chairs stacked up one another whenever you made it home from work. Or caught onto Wade running across the table. Hell you even caught him clinging onto the ceiling one night. "Wade, what are you doing?!" You'd ask him whenever you opened the door to your apartment now. He'd be hanging onto one of the lamps like a cat and would simply yell, "Parkour!"

Parkour.

It became his favorite word for a whole two months. You two couldn't even take a decent jog in the park anymore because one peek at a bench and your boyfriend would be all over it. He'd be running and sliding under the seat like it was the only way to escape some non-existent enemies.

It was starting to bother you. Couldn't you do anything without him attempting to do his failed attempts? I mean seriously, please? A simple pizza run couldn't even slide normally without him insinuating his parkour shenanigans? It was starting to take a toll on your patience.

Wade? Never. You could handle him.

Except for when he mentioned parkour. Hell and you haven't even told him you used to do some parkour yourself. You didn’t even want to mention it now. It’d only feed into his current infatuation.

“(Y/N)?!” Currently occupied in the kitchen, you heard your boyfriend call out while focusing on stirring the boiling broth. It was Wade’s turn to cook, but you didn’t want to eat any more fast-food, so you offered to make something at home.

Usually he’d cook, but since he’s become downright obsessed in learning parkour, he would simply order food these past few weeks. Eventually you grew tired of it.

When he didn’t respond, you looked over. Wade hunched over the couch looking deep into his phone. Reducing the heat to prevent any accidents, you walked over to the merc. What the hell did he shout your name for?

“Wade? Is something wrong?” you asked your boyfriend. Snapping out of it, Wade finally turned around and shoved the phone in your face. Leaning away from the screen, upon further inspection, you noticed he was watching another parkour video. However, you didn’t think you’d see yourself in said video jumping off buildings and doing crazy leaps across debris.

Shit, he probably stumbled upon some old videos of you. Calmly taking the phone out of his hands, you checked the posted video-date.

Seven years ago.

Sighing, you handed the phone back to your boyfriend before heading back to the chicken. Hoping he ignored the current situation, you went back to stirring the broth again, “Um…so dinner’s almost ready. You want some cheese in your bowl?”

He stared at you for a few moments before shooting up from the couch, “You can’t just ignore this!”

“Oh yes I certainly can, now wash up. I’m putting cheese in your bowl.”

“(Y/N)!”

“Parmesan or Mozzarella?”

Wade jumped towards the kitchen and yanked you across the room, his arms caged around your midsection. Screeching you elbowed him, “I’m gonna drop the bowl!!” but your boyfriend simply hugged you tighter, “When were you gonna tell me you did parkour?!”

“Never!”

“Why not?!”

“Because!”

Needless to say, dinner consisted of Wade spouting your ear off with questions. About what? Parkour. Groaning, you dropped your spoon into the bowl of soup, the small splash against the bowl as you dragged a hand across your face. “Wade.” you said quiet and calm. He paused, awaiting your response. Smiling at him so helpless, you asked, “Can we just eat? In silence?”

Smacking a hand against his chest in offense, Wade went on, “Huh?! I’m just asking you questions, pumpkin! Are you insinuating that my voice is bothering you? Is that it?! What about the cops you ran away from? I just wanna know how you got away!”

“What…cops? What are you talking about Wade?”

“The video of you parkour-ing away from the cops.”

“That video was six years ago. I don’t remember.”

“Seven years ago.” Wade corrected. Throwing your hands up, you clicked your tongue. “Look, Wade. I used to practice parkour when I was younger and posted some videos online. That’s all! There’s nothing important to it! Jeez, drop it already!”

The merc crossed his arms, narrowing his eyes, “Uh-Uh babe! No can do! You knew I had gotten into parkour and didn’t bother saying anything?! Not even offering to teach me some moves, I'm kinda hurt (Y/N)!”

“Oh please! I didn’t tell you because you’ve been obsessed with this for months! Besides, it's not like it’s something important! You think me saying something would help your addiction?”

“Addiction? I’m not even that addicted.” Wade pondered. Scoffing, you gave him a flabbergasted look followed by the stink eye. In your head you could imagine fake wrestling him onto the floor. Sighing, before this could turn into a real argument, you looked at Wade.

“Look,” you began, “If I taught you some moves, would that make you happy?”

“Yes!” the merc immediately responded. Quickly you pointed a finger at him, “But! That means you’d have to stop with this whole parkour thing.”

“But—”

“Wade.” you stated in a serious tone, lowering yourself down to his chair—more specifically his lap—wrapping your arms around his neck. “I show you some parkour moves, and you have to promise you’ll stop with this infatuation.”

He stuttered out some excuses before eventually sighing. Wrapping his arms around your waist, he gave in, “Alright…” Wade grumbled out. Pouting slightly, he leaned in to give you a kiss, you smiled, reciprocating.

“Good.”

“So…” The merc said quietly before rambling again, “So when are you gonna teach me? What are you gonna teach me? Oh! What if you showed me how to spin off a building and land on ledges without falling? It’d be really helpful for when I’m running away from bad guys! Oh! Or what about that one move I saw you do in the video? And what about—”

Maybe you should've just told him it was a secret twin cousin.

Don't ask me what the hell I wrote because Idk either. Sorry it sucks major balls.

[purplestars222]

Deadpool x reader - Hot chocolate

gender neutral reader

based on this request

cw: none, just fluff

words: um idk but its short (wrote this on my phone so cant count them)

You sit in the corner of your loungeroom, huddled up under 3 blankets away from the windows. The power already went out, and your phone died. Storms were your biggest fear, even as a child. You wanted this one to be over so bad, you didn't even notice the knock at the door.

The door swings open, and you scream, very loudly

"Jesus- Y/n??!! It's just me, I got pizza"

Wade walks over to you and plops down on the floor. He's wearing his suit, and theres a couple of noticeable bloodstains.

"t-thanks wade.." you stutter through your tears

"What's wrong y/n?"

You wanted to tell him, so bad. But being scared of storms is so childish and stupid. He would probably call you a baby.

"its nothing, i promise."

You take a slice of pizza, taking a small bite out of it.

"Bullshit. tell me." He grabs half the blankets and wraps himself up too

"i'm really really scared of storms. and the power went out- and my phone died, and nothing is going right."

Wade softly smiles and pulls you into a hug

"Wanna go to mine? i still have power, and i'll make you a hot chocolate, you can charge your phone too."

You nod, and he helps you up. He calls a taxi and you guys go back to his place. When you get inside, he sits you down on his bed, and wraps a blanket around you.

"Put something on, we'll watch a movie."

He walks into the kitchen and starts making the hot chocolate. By the time he gets back, you're almost asleep. Wade smiles, and helps you under all the blankets. He plugs your phone in to charge and hops into bed next to you, snuggling up to you

"wade?" your voice comes out weak and croaky

"yeah?"

"thankyou."

sorry this was so short!!! i just wanted to get it finished. i might expand on it some other time?

[luxthestrange]

Mc Once Said Part 1

*Mc arriving in the celestial realm*

Mc: It's a Big realm, It's weird I only ever see two of you*Looks at Simeon and Luke*Almost like the Developers couldn't afford another Angel

[squicksquak]

i think you guys should consider writting deadpool! readers too.... you can fuck up their gender if you want too it doesn't just have to be black cat and spider...... i just think we're missing out on an insanely good dynamic

[paranormal-pajama-phantom]

Deadpool's reaction to seeing his s/o's head getting sliced off while captured but then the real s/o is standing behind him as they somehow escaped saying that's a clone because the villain was trying to fuck with his head.

oh dang this is actually a super good idea 0_0

At first he would try to play it off like he knew the whole time because he doesn't want to show the fact that he was completely terrified

He would probably laugh a little before breaking down

It just shed light to the fact that you might die one day and there's not much he can do to stop it

He will absolutely slaughter that villain by the way...

It definitely makes him realize just how precious your life is

When he first sees the S/O imposter's head getting sliced off his first reaction would probably be kinda, chill

like he's so used to seeing heads getting sliced off

but then he realizes who head it was and he'll start shouting your name

probably won't actually believe its you till you prove it

Will be shaking for hours afterwards

Come back soon! 💌

[montimer]

Imagine giving wade the love he deserves ☆

Gn!reader, fluff, very short

You're leaving kisses all over his face. You hear him giggle at that.

You kiss him so passionately he loses his mind.

You give love bites to him, leaving hickeys on his neck with licks and kisses.Him whimpering and snuggling more and more into you.

You tell him how much you love him, and what you love about him, never fails to make him smile.

You slowly taking his mask of to love him more, the way you keep on doing those things tells him that you don't find him disgusting or annoying.

You just love him so much, you can't help but kiss him again and again.

He loves you so much, he can't help but think he doesn't deserve your love and affection. It feels like heaven. The bad thoughts go away every time he looks into ur eyes. You just love him so much don't you?

[pendragon-writes]

𝒟𝑒𝑒𝓅 𝐵𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓉𝒽𝓈

Deadpool x Gn!Reader

An: Sorry if it's a bit short but I hope you like it!

Requested: Yes

TW: Panic attack, anxiety, cursing, mentions of blood (Not Wade's or Readers).

No no no no no, this wasn't supposed to happen. You were standing outside of the bar you worked at when what was supposed to be a smoke break turned into a panic attack, well you called it a smoke break but really what happened was someone said something that triggered a panic attack and made you tell your co-worker to cover.

You tried your best to use all of the breathing methods you knew but it wasn't working, your eyes were getting blurry and the tears just wouldn't stop. So you called the only person you know who would be awake at this time.

"Hey if it isn't my favorite bartender!" You heard over to your right, with the voice came the blasting music of 'El Sonidito'. You didn't respond and you fell more and more onto the floor. "Oh shit, it's serious." He mumbled, as he quickly turned off the music and put the car in park, and jumped to you.

°。°。°。°。°。°。

You suddenly felt some ice in one of your palms and your favorite food filling the air. Then you slightly looked up to see the man you called standing in front of you, Deadpool.

"Alright, easy now, I'm here you're safe and no one is going to hurt you, let's try the 5-step method yeah?" You nodded slightly which signaled him to start. "Alright, what are five things you hear?" "T-the cars passing by, the bar music playing, your voice, people in the bar talking, and my breathing," "Alright alright, good start" He praised. "Now, how about four things you see?" "The building behind you, your mask, some blood, and the door behind you". "Great job bud! Only three more steps you got this" Already you started slightly calming down but it wasn't enough. "What are three things you can feel from here?" "I can feel the ice, my clothes, and the cold floor". "Two things you can smell?" "(Favorite food), and blood". "Yeah that blood isn't mine thankfully" he chuckled. "Now last step and then you'll get this bag of goodies," he said shaking the bag slightly. "What is one thing you taste?" "My saliva" you answered, finally calming down for good.

"How about we get off this dirty floor, go into my car for a bit, and eat this good? I'll even play your favorite songs~" You chuckled at this and agreed to his proposal. "Sure Wade, that sounds good".

°。°。°。°。°。°。

"So... You wanna tell me what happened back there?" He asked, taking a bite out of his pancakes, which he somehow got. "Oh it's nothing to worry about," You muttered, softly biting into your food. "Nothing? (Y/n) you had a panic attack not too long ago, I get not wanting to talk about these kinds of things but it's me, your pal, the one and only mercenary in red". "Alright fine, just stop listing off things will ya?" "Deal!" He smiled cheekily.

You took a deep breath before speaking. "In the back of the bar I overheard these two guys talking to each other and, I don't know, I guess they said something triggering because before I knew it the music started to blur out and my heart was racing". "Do you think you'll be able to go back to work or am I going to have to threaten your boss to give you a break?" "No, I'll be fine. But thanks for the offer," you laughed at the end. Wade smiled at this. "Good, in that case, finish up your food, I think someone back at work might get worried that you've been kidnapped or something,"

°。°。°。°。°。°。

"Thanks again Wade," "It's no problem! Now I should probably get going, the blind granny I'm living with might get worried and think I'm dead" "Alright, bye Wade" He responded back with a salute and rushed to his car.

°。°。°。°。°。°。

"Now, the person reading this, that's right, a fourth wall break. Betcha didn't expect that here huh? Well you should, it's me after all. Just here to send a public announcement, if you are having a panic attack and don't have anyone to talk to there is a hotline out there to help, that hotline is 1-800-64-PANIC (72642), remember, there are people who can help you. Now, what are you doing sitting around for, go find something new to read!"

[your-next-daydream]

Marvel Master List

*********************

Multiple characters

Body mod reader headcanons with Natasha, Wanda, Peter Parker, Loki, Thor, Bucky, and Wade

Loki Laufeyson

Loki x overly anxious reader (fic)

Wade Wilson / Deadpool

Deadpool x equally chaotic reader (hcs)

Deadpool x equally chaotic reader (hcs pt. 2)

Deadpool and a reader who doesn't understand sarcasm

Deadpool x s/o partner in crime teachings