#dick literally does not have his shit together in any other way but he can do laundry and introspect about his feelings

[incidentallysunny]

Through The Skin

Real Uncle!Leon

Dead dove warning.

7k word count. Proof read lightly. Critique is welcomed and my skin is thick for it.

I'd like to appear in the tagz pls so here's a warning. My writing is not ever meant to be taken literally and is just for the sake of writing fxcked up content that I enjoy writing. If you do not wish to read this, please do not as my intentions are not to offend or make you intentionally uncomfortable but if you choose to read- don't be hateful. With that out of the way, extremely sensitive content and dead dove material ahead.

Specifically blood-related incest, smut, suicidal ideation, mentions of grotesque imagery, light mentions of gore in a hypothetical scenario, age-gap, overall just some disturbing topics.

As far as smut specifically: this includes talking of public sex, public female oral-recieving, Leon has dick piercings surprise, make and female oral, fingering, unprotected sex, cream-pie (wrap your willy irl pls) praise, dirty talk, spitting, any probably some other irrelevant shit I'm forgetting my bad.

PROCEED if you read the above, are okay with it, and are mentally unwell like I am. Happy reading, it's a long one.

To be quite frank, you didn’t give a shit about a single holiday party that your parents threw. Having to hug and touch on people you didn’t even know, putting on a fake smile and pretending as if you remembered them at all. Exhausting for a young woman to keep up this charade for so long. You’re sure your relatives noticed the dying spark in your eyes over time. Living Growing does that to a person. You spent all night fetching beers and other pre-packaged, alcoholic drinks- hoping he would show up every time you had to hand one out. Still one less face you’re can be enthralled to see.

You sat at the dining table, leaned onto an elbow with your face in your palm. Clearly a dejected and annoyed pose but everyone here was too cheery or already deep in the ‘special occasion’ wine bottle to even piece that together. Your other hand traced the ringed patterns in the wood surface, wondering how old it had been before it was chopped down ruthlessly by some hot guy with a chainsaw who was getting paid way too much to be fucking up nature left and right. All so that some college-aged girl could sit at the furniture it had been made into and sulk. God, an almost 40 year old tree. That’s pretty fucking old. You’re glad it lived a somewhat long life (in human years, not tree years.) ‘Cause some trees live a few hundred or even thousand years. So maybe it was taken too soon before it became the placeholder for your familial drunken talks. While you were distracted, annoyed, and pitying yourself, the table all erupted into ‘Hey, long time no see!’s , laughter, and other delightful sentiments that were jolly and deafening enough to make you jump. Loud noises weren’t your thing.

Before you could regain your composure and turn your torso in the hand-carved, deep-brown varnished chair- a hand graced the presence of your slumped shoulder.

“Hey, babydoll. Long time no see.” The voice greeted, husky and rough like a patch of concrete you’ve definitely scraped your knee on a time or two. Basically, it was familiar, which is what you’re getting at.

Uncle Leon.

You turned your full body now, swinging your legs to the side of the seat- a few laughs slopped from the table.

Everyone knew how much you loved and fawned over your Uncle- your dad rivaling how much you seemed to prefer his brother over him. Well duh, dad. It’s because he’s fun and you’re a hard-ass. And ugly to look at. Your poor, poor mom.

It had been years since you saw your uncle. Since you were freshly 18, to be exact. Your dad wasn’t too keen on having him around his barely-legal daughter- probably because he could practically smell it on you that you want your uncle to pop your cherry. You still remembered his few quirks, too. He was always sloppy yet casually drunk wherever he was, he hated fireworks (due to PTSD as your dad explained), and he had always been known to be grabby with people- probably because of the alcohol. He was a weird guy, but you loved him all the same. It broke the normalcy of your home and made things interesting to be around him. However- none of this was the focus. His stubble, dark-liquored bags under his eyes that almost resemble eyeliner, and dark-tinted hair were. And god, his chin. Could be a replacement for a Sybian, if you had one. All of that aside, he looks sexy. That’s so fucking weird to say about your dad’s brother, but calling it weird is also so outdated. Fucking your hot, middle-aged uncle is in; getting a boyfriend your age is out.

You stood up swiftly, hugging him tightly around the waist and almost toppling him. He chuckled, steadying himself with one arm around your back and the other on the table to catch himself. Once he felt he was steady enough, the other arm joined around you- the embrace squeezing you like a stress ball. You worried that your eyes might be a little more loose in your skull than before.

“Gotta be careful, kiddo. You’re gonna take down your uncle one of these days.” He teases, moving out of the hug and letting his hands explore their way down your back- resting on the small of it. Digits perched like a bird where your back starts to curve into your ass- not sweetly or gentle- but like one of those huge-taloned hawks that would rip your flesh off. You only say that because his hands are big and rough- and you’ve heard stories of what your uncle does for work (plus the alcohol is making him need to stabilize himself so he doesn’t crash you both into the nearby counter and cause any serious brain injury. At least then you could excuse the bubbling of strange feelings as TBI). Oh, and with how handsy he was known to be (Just ask your Aunt Claire on your mom’s side). But he had never been that way with you- not until now.

You see your dad eyeing him like the same kind of big-taloned hawk from across the table. They’re cut from the same feathers- except your dad must have been the one that never learned to fly. Pushed out of the nest by a sharp shove of a beak and bit every branch of the ugly tree on the way down. Cause he’s a lot weaker and uglier than your uncle. How he pulled your mom is a miracle and a mystery.

“Hey, uh. Honey. Come sit back down. No need in playing into your uncle’s fashionably late, drunken stupor.” He quips towards you while grilling Leon about being late, nursing his own drink with that ugly grin. You roll your eyes. Leon removes his hands from you- putting them up in defense of himself and leaving your back with an empty feeling.

“Hey, hey. Just hugging my beautiful niece.” He turned to address you again. “Been years since I’ve seen you, sweetheart. Look even better than your momma.” You feel a blush creep up at Leon’s words, but your dad clears his throat and your mom pays him no mind. Just an eye roll and sip of a wine cooler. To be honest, even she probably fucked your uncle. You couldn’t blame her if she did.

You huff and sit back down, crossing your arms. Your dad always had to ruin everything. If you fuck your uncle or kiss him or whatever and don’t like it, you can just go to therapy. Leon snickered behind you, patting your shoulder before leaning in next to your ear.

“Come join me out on the deck in a bit. I’m sure you’re tired of being smothered in here with the fun police.”

You feel muggy from his words. Like a Louisiana swamp type muggy. Is your hair sticking to you? Are there zika-virus bearing mosquitos pricking you or is that just undiagnosed anxiety?

You bounce your leg under the table while you hear the sliding door open and close in the distance. Minutes pass of you twiddling your thumbs- and you excuse yourself to sneak off- exiting out the same heavy sliding door that Leon used.

When you sealed it behind you- the smell of whiskey filled your nostrils- sizzling off any hairs that your nose so proudly grew for much needed germ-protection. A hand slapped itself gracelessly onto the glass above you in the dark, trapping you in place. Predictable uncle.

“Shit, sorry sweetheart. Lost my footing. Y’know how it is. I’m always taking spills here and there.” You felt giddy and blistered all over, speaking back to him.

“S’okay. Sorry about dad.” You excused, breathing in. Leon’s other hand patted you low on your hip as he chuckled into your ear- sending off more whiskey breath.

“It’s okay, sweet thing. Your dad can be that way. I’m not exactly safe to be around in his eyes. Besides, he’s just doing his job- looking out for his little girl.” He explains, not making any efforts to move. You predicted this- but it wasn’t unwelcome.

“Why’s that?” You dare to ask, sounding purposefully puzzled- but Leon knows better. And you know the answer.

“It’s ‘cause your Uncle likes ‘em young and pretty.” He mulls the information over you, the words sliding down you like a vibration that sets off a perfect sensation to your already throbbing clit. Because you’re always horny. The hand on your hip now kneads your ass under your skirt- somehow getting there without notice.

“O-oh.” You choke on the word like it’s quicksand in your throat- but only the quicksand is the prospect of having your uncle plow you until you develop early onset dementiaSo really, the quicksand isn’t bad in this instance. You jump into it face first for a good mouthful.

“Shouldn’t be wearing something so short when you know your dirty old uncle is coming over. Can’t keep my eyes where they’re supposed t’be.” He mutters low, leaning down to tickle the shell of your ear with his voice.

“Knew you were coming over. I wanted to look pretty for you.” Saying it makes your head spin, but like in the good way. The sound Leon makes is between a groan that says ‘good god, I’m going to bury my cock inside you right the fuck now’ and ‘I figured as much’. A simple cocktail of horniness and knowing.

“Mm, just want to kiss you everywhere, you know? Love it how sweet you are.” He murmurs into your scented hair, using the hand from the wall to push aside any strands that are in his way. He kisses the back of your neck and his breath scorches your skin. The affection is sloppy and leaves small bits of saliva behind, his barely-darting-out tongue making you ache even more.

“U-uncle.” You shuddered, a slight protest to your voice. Not ‘cause you don’t like it but because you’re worried someone will see. Or that you’ll never want off of his dick. He can be your personal IUD, all buried in your cervix.

Leon ignored the shared thought that someone could see because the way you referred to him made his dick jump in his jeans. Plus, the whole family knows he’s a sleeze. They’d see him balls deep in you and say ‘Ah, that’s Leon for you’ And look the other way until his next sexual prospect. One of the many reasons that Aunt Claire doesn't visit and Aunt Ada divorced his ass. Her loss. You’d happily share him if it were you. It’s only right to share a man that looks like a washed-up pornstar. His dick is great too. Not ‘cause you’re guessing- but because you saw it one time. Last time you saw him actually- the whole incident that left you wanting to see him again oh-so-badly. He had stumbled in the bathroom to piss- ignoring you at the sink. It’s whatever, he was totally wasted and probably didn’t see you. Nor did he probably see the fact you were gawking at his big dick. Or his nice ass, cause he had let his pants drop completely in his hazy state.

“Mm, what is it, babydoll? Hey- Think anyone’d notice if I fingered this sweet little pussy right now?” His voice cut through your memory and thick, long fingers teased the swell of your pussy lips through your underwear, making your hips contract with excitement. Your breath fans over the glass and smogs it.

“I don’t know- maybe.” You huff, trying to keep your composure. It sure is fucking hard when God’s gift to women is about to finger-fuck you at your parent’s house with 20 or so family members inside the property. You second guess yourself now. Maybe God's gift to women doesn’t go around playing with a pussy that belongs to their niece. Or maybe God was fed up with some girls missing out so he created sexually-attractive uncle’s to even any scores. You’ll be attending church this upcoming Sunday. Not because you’re going to follow through with blood-related fornication but because you want to thank the higher-ups properly for this fine piece of ass you’re about to receive from. Or maybe you shouldn’t step foot there, the whole ‘bursting into flames for egregious sinning’ type thing. Wait a minute- there’s literally daddy-daughter incest in the Book of Genesis, so you’ll happily sin away and tell god to fuck off while doing it. Okay maybe that’s a little uncalled for.

Leon tugged your panties to the side, breathing shakily.

“Fuck. I gotta see it, baby.” He mumbles, dropping to one knee with the other bent and still supporting the front of him. Underwear aside, he uses his hands to spread you out- taking in the sight of your damp folds. Damp is putting it lightly. His thumb collects some of your slick and he nearly cums right there.

“You save your first time for me?” He questions. In his mind, you’ve already had a dick or two. He can work with that. Those little guys your age don’t match up to him, but he’s blindsided when you whine about being a virgin, begging him to stick it in or something. Now, Leon’s not the greatest guy morally. At all. But if he’s going to pop your pussy like a soda cap for the first time, he’s going to do it in private cause he’s not stopping for anything. And privacy allows just that. Again- it’s not about it being special, just private. He’ll turn you out good and well.

“Sorry sweetheart. I wanna fuck this needy hole when it’s just us. Think you can wait?” He asks, before darting his tongue out to taste you and lapping up any of you that’s continuously dripping out from pent-up arousal. Your knees almost buckle and he puts his hands under the curve of your ass to hold you still. Your brain goes so mushy you almost forgot to respond.

“Y-yes, uncle Leon.” You whine like a pathetic puppy- begging for something that it didn’t need. But actually, you did need your uncle’s dick so badly. He laughs against your cunt, seemingly happy with that answer. Before you can properly nut like you want, you see your dad pass by in the distance of the sliding door. You tap the glass gently to alert Leon with a small series of clicks. He shoots his head up, yanking your panties back into place and using the sleeve of his leather jacket to wipe his mouth.

“Fuck- always such a blue-balling asshole for anyone, I swear. Sorry, pretty girl.” He smooths down your hair, making sure you look presentable. Well- besides your face that’s red enough to be used as a lit flare.

“Go inside. I’m sure he’s looking for you, babydoll.” He grabs you drunkenly by the upper arm, pulling you in to kiss you on the cheek.

“Come by mine sometime. I’ll be home, for once.” He mutters the last part, loosening his hold on you and starting down the steps of the deck.

“Okay. I’ll see you later, Uncle Leon.” You sound so disappointed and miserable. Pouty. Leon gets it.

“Later, babydoll.”

He heads down the path of the backyard and through the connecting gate that leads to the driveway, the sound of his motorcycle’s engine revving is the cue that he’s definitely headed off.

You let yourself back in, acting inconspicuous. But your dad is already waiting with crossed arms. Yuck.

“Did I not tell you several times about hanging around your uncle. He’s a weird guy. I don’t mind him coming over but, god.” He lays into you, mostly just insulting his brother. You roll your eyes as you normally do. You’ve never not had an attitude with your father. He was born to be shit on in your eyes- barely deserved your mom, as is. Besides, He had no backbone whatsoever.

“Just go upstairs.” He asked, cause he never told you to do anything. Just asked and hoped you’d listen. You were pleased enough to have gotten as much as your uncle tonguing your cunt, so you can comply a bit longer. You go upstairs to your room, shutting the door and lying down.

—

It’s a week later when you finally get to see your uncle. You managed to convince your dad to let you borrow his car, ‘cause you’re a broke college student and can’t afford that right now. Plus you’re spoiled but not enough for a car, apparently. Whoops. Probably because your dad knows as soon as he signs the papers, you’re going to drive to his brother’s house and impale yourself on his dick for life. He’d rather you go to college and get a train ran on you or something, at least.

You hoped you had remembered the right place at first, until Leon’s motorcycle was spotted in the lot. Good, he’s home. You still questioned your memory as you were walking up the flights of stairs in the apartment building, tugging down the back of your skirt when you felt it was airing out your ass too much (for any passerbys, not Leon). After reaching the 12th floor and navigating the scarily clean hallway (the few decorations in the area made it less horror-esque), you found the right (?) door. Your knock was soft because again, you weren’t entirely sure. Just going off of childhood memories.

After hearing a shuffle inside, it didn’t take long for it to swing open, Leon standing in the doorway shirtless with a pair of grey, thin sweatpants loose on his hipbones. His v-line was saying hello to you. Hello to you, too.

“Pretty girl! Hey! Thought you’d never come by. Sorry about the attire- been having a lazy day since I’m off work.” He moved aside for you to come in, the door shutting behind you when you accepted the unspoken invitation. His place was nice. A little cluttered with a half-packed suitcase; clothes messily thrown on top and some paperwork and a passport in a heap on the desk nearby, but still nice. Not to mention spacious. Thank god.

“It’s okay, really. You deserve some relaxation time, you know?” You try to be cool and collected- not getting to the main point of your visit. Even if you did have genuine interest in your uncle as a person.

“Isn’t that the truth? Want a drink?” He asked, already walking towards his kitchen. You don’t immediately reply because the sway of his ass is… something else, but you manage to snap yourself from the hypnotizing gaze of it. He’s got a whiskey glass and bottle already on the counter, waiting for a reply.

“Sure.” You tell him, knowing damn well you can’t handle your alcohol. You get all fucking lovey and touchy, and you’ve only drank like 3 times. And sure. You did come here to fuck him, but you were nervous. Okay, never mind. That gives a complete need for liquid courage.

He makes his way to the hallway- switching something on the AC control before sitting on the couch, adjacent from the chair you’re nestled in. You’re taking small sips of the whiskey, burning your throat, sinuses, and any nervousness down like a forest fire. Leon just sits, legs splayed apart like how men always sit. Except you can see his fat-ass dick print. God, kill me now. Or after I’ve sucked it, at least. You see, too, what looks like indents in the fabric- piercings maybe? Or the folds of the pants are sitting weird.

“Did you find the place okay?” He asks, coming off like he cares- which he does- but he’s mostly waiting to get you and himself sloppy for fucking so he’s just stalling now.

You nod, bottom lip tucked into your mouth- if you talk it’s going to be about his dick being huge or his dick being inside you. Leon allows you another deep sip, finishing off the liquid completely.

“I actually remembered how to get here just about perfectly.” You spoke, laughing a little. Yeah, you’d be gone completely in a few minutes. You already felt yourself slipping into a hazy, bubbly state. Leon could tell, too. Good for him. He loved when the girl was sloppier than the pussy attached to her.

“Smart girl. Always have been.” He took a long, heavy drink- finishing off his glass. You watched how his stomach twitched or moved even the slightest when he adjusted himself, the same with his arms. He was muscular yet lean- like he didn’t eat enough some days. Figures. Beauty isn’t easy and he looked good, and maybe that’s why he got plastered all the time so easily. No appetite=no tolerance. However, you were most certainly not afraid to look at the hard work. Even more so with alcohol brewing in your stomach acid and then liver.

Leon patted his leg, fingers drumming on the material of his sweatpants.

“Come sit. You can tell me more about it on your uncle’s lap.” Gross. Gross in the hot way. The gross-hot way you want him to fold and twist you like a pretzel. So no, you don’t abhor the idea of sitting in his lap.

You don’t even hesitate, standing and nearly falling over- realizing you forgot how wobbly your legs could get while inebriated. Leon reached forward to grab your hand and waist, letting you fall directly onto his lap, ass to crotch. Like a puzzle piece. An incestual puzzle piece- which ideally shouldn’t fit together but it just does.

You feel his cock twitch under you; he’s anticipated this, obviously. His hands slid up your thighs, and down again, then back up- like he’s appreciating them.

“Got the prettiest legs, baby. Want them on your uncle’s shoulders, don’t you?” He cooed, scooting you to the edge of his lap just enough to get his cock out of his bottoms. You turn to look behind you, twisting yourself a bit to get a look at it. Christ. One, he was big. The kind of dick that couldn’t stand ‘cause it was heavy and long. Two. It had a few piercings down the front of his shaft, gleaming in the light. So not only were you about to take your first dick, but a pierced one (like you had suspected). Okay…you didn’t remember seeing those the only other time you ever saw his dick by accident. New additions.

Leon stroked your hair with the hand that wasn’t holding his dick.

“Trust me, feels a lot better than it looks. I promise it doesn’t hurt. Even for virgins.” He adds, like he knows that for a fact. “Nothing you can’t handle for me.”

Okay, he’s right. You’d take his fist if it meant his approval, honestly. How bad could it be?

You move to spin yourself around on his lap, Leon’s amused at your eagerness. He holds his cock, spitting down onto it so he can stroke himself while he puts a hand onto your neck. You’re pulled by the hold into a slow, messy, spitty kiss. He’s definitely experienced, as you are not. His tongue makes its way against yours like he’s silently teaching you how to kiss him open mouthed. Not so hard, you think. He groans into your mouth as he handles himself, maneuvering his cock to brush against your underwear; prodding your clothed clit under your skirt.

You mewl against his lips which only spurs him to kiss you a little more rough now, assuming you’re ready for it. Which you definitely don’t mind. His hand squeezes the side of your neck affectionately, a thumb tracing the skin. You’re thankful you’re in his lap because your knees are weak and your head feels dizzy. It was an exchange of sighs and heavy breathing- no distance. Your hands tangled into his dark locks which is something that Leon loved; having his hair pulled (you could tell by his lusty growl and the shift of his hips). He truly was the epitome of a kinky, dirty old man. If pushing 40 was old. Well, to be fair, you did call the dead tree of a table at your parent’s house old, ‘cause it was 40.

He pulled off of you, your now un-joined mouths drippy with saliva.

“Get in between your Uncle’s legs. Wanna see that pretty mouth on this cock.” He urged, and you found yourself with your calves folded under you in between his parted thighs. He held his cock proudly, and to be honest, the piercings look daunting. How did you even expect yourself to suck on it like you’ve seen in porn? Maybe you should have spent more time watching guys with pierced dicks instead of the step category. You had a preference, clearly.

You snaked your hands up to him, holding his cock with a puzzled look clear on your face. Leon laughed, not like he was laughing at you but the way you laugh at someone when you think what they’re doing is cute.

“Don’t worry about them too much, gorgeous. Just do it how you think you would normally. But pay careful attention with your tongue. Won’t hurt me any, promise.” He reassures you thoroughly, chuckling through a sexually intense gaze. Okay, it seems…. easy enough. Didn’t know dirty old uncles could be so sweet about having their dick sucked.

You lean forward, Leon guiding the head to your mouth.

“Just go slow and focus on the tip. Don’t want my girl to be uncomfortable, now do I?” His girl? You liked the sound of that. Enjoyed it very much. You’d be his girl wherever and whenever. You took him past your lips- suckling on the tip softly and swirling your tongue around it.

“Just like that- fuck- you’re doing great, babydoll.”

The praise edged you on, and you managed enough confidence to glide your tongue down his shaft and over the piercings- flicking over them pornographically. You felt like it was just right. If fucking your uncle could be right in any way of the sense. Leon groaned and his head fell back onto the couch. A large hand found its way to your hair, holding it into a makeshift ponytail. You discovered that it wasn’t too daunting- it was possible to bob your head a little while keeping your tongue exploring the piercings in small swirls and flicks. Just makes your jaw a little tired faster. Besides, seems less scary than taking it inside you.

It’s an alternation of the previous movements and kitten licking up the front of him, and the adornments on his skin only seem to make everything feel much more stimulating. His breath deepens and he guides you now with your hair in hand- looking down at you through deep-brown bangs.

“Fuck- that’s it. Just look at you, dirty little niece I’ve got here, sucking her uncle’s cock like she was made for it. God- so damned pretty with your tongue on me.” His head falls back again for a moment, before he sits up- his labored panting evident.

“Christ. Okay- can’t take it anymore. C’mon, baby. Up.” He says, smacking your bottom when you stand in front of him. You’re feeling a bit ‘five seconds away from crashing into the coffee table and impaling yourself on the broken wood’ type of drunk now.

“Uncle Leon’s gonna pop that cherry, got it? Now sit down and let me lick that sweet pussy. Can still taste it after last time.” He’s speaking filthy things you should hear and run in the opposite direction from- but you don’t.

“My room. Remember where that is?” He mumbles, standing behind you now while he runs his hands down your sides- possessively grabbing at any fabric on you.

You shake your head no.

“Can’t remember. Need you to show me.” You whisper to him, putting your hands over his on your sides. He just muffles a laugh into the crook of your neck and shuffles you along in front of him, the two of you almost falling over multiple times on the way to his bedroom. You’re sure that something did get knocked off the wall at one point, but you literally do not care in any way.

Leon staggers you into the room and pushes you back onto the bed, shedding off his sweatpants. Naked, no boxers. Just full, thick cock and a trail of hair leading up to his belly-button that you haven’t let your eyes leave for however long you’ve been here. Oh, and muscled thighs. One of the greater parts of a man. His hands find their way to your thighs, tugging you to the edge of the bed before invading his thumbs into the waistband of your panties.

“Let’s get these off.” He grunts, pulling them down your legs and tossing them only for the undergarment to land in an unseen place. You go to tug off your skirt, until his hands pin yours to the bed.

“Want you to keep that on. Looks cute.” He says, retracting from you and sinking down at the edge of the bed. In no wasted time, his mouth is lazily lapping at your cunt- making your back bend in the reaction of immediate, overwhelming pleasure. You grabbed at the sheets until you remembered how his body responded when you pulled at his hair- so you found your hold there instead. Tugging his darkened strands with the pace he was eating you out at- stubble against your pussy and nose in your mound. His cheeks tickled your thighs, punching out a soft giggle and squirm from your body between the moaning. It makes him smile into you- reaching a hand up to knead your breast. Honestly, you hoped that the roof caved in right now and took you to your death because no moment would be better than this and that in itself made you suicidal.

You feel a finger slip past your hole, curling itself into that soft wall of fleshy, orgasmic sponge. The noise that left you was new, for sure and the muscle in his mouth jerked against your clit in tandem. It seemed Leon had the same deep feeling and worry you did about his dick even fitting, cause he added a second finger. Then tried to add a third but gave up because he actually wanted his dick to do that labor. He can be selfish, okay? It didn’t take long for you to cum either, duh. He was a skilled whore of a man and you’re a virgin. Or will be for only a few more minutes- probably less.

Your legs shake and tense, your heart thumps viciously, and your fingers threaten to tangle his hair into knots and make him start balding. Not happening no matter how hard you yank, though. His genes are too good for that. He was made for rough pulls to his mane. Made to take damage both mentally and physically. Made for splitting open cute, slutty nieces like you.

While you recovered, he licked his lips and fingers as clean as he could- missing the further parts of his stubbled cheeks. He stood up, hand on his lower back (‘cause duh, he’s old as dirt), and reached into the nightstand for a condom- which you gave him a look before he could open it. A look that told him ‘please, please, please don’t put it on! sure, fuck your blood-relative niece raw and possibly knock her up! Might not have to worry because you’re an alcoholic and your sperm quality is low, though.’ So fuck away.

He was a sucker for your big, glossy eyes and the slutty pout of your bottom lip. Not mentioning- he wouldn’t have worn a condom anyway. Would have just slipped it off before he stuck his dick in you. A virgin couldn’t tell the difference. What? You expected a man that fucks his own family to have morals for things lesser than that? No chance.

“Please, Uncle.” You begged softly, Leon knowing what you want without actually saying it. He’s great at reading people.

“Fucking hell. You’re something else. You want it that bad, huh?” He laughed, pleased by you beseeching him with so little words. You nodded, no objections about it. He tossed the unopened condom back in the drawer and shut it impatiently, making the lamp wobble.

“Changed my mind. Everything off. Gotta see that pretty set of tits.” The words were matter of fact and laced with a bit of erection-fueled urgency.

You reach your hands up to remove your shirt, then discard your bra and skirt. Left in the nude as naked as the day you were cut from your moms stomach. C-section baby and all that. Only this time there was no blood. Yet, anyways.

When you were stark naked, Leon pushed you firmly onto his bed again- folding you by the backs of your thighs, legs pressed to your chest and gifting your stomach with that cute roll thing it did. Leon liked that on a woman.

He grabbed his cock, positioning it against your slick that dribbled from your yet-to-be-abused hole. He was gonna change that. You could feel his one of the piercings resting against your skin down below- a tsunami of anxiety settling over your delicate village of a body.

“Might hurt a little, babydoll. Can’t promise I’m gonna be gentle with her.” He referred to your pussy, your hole fluttering when he talked. You gave a look of understanding and acknowledgement.

“God, want it so bad.” You whined under him, the position he had your legs in made you even crazier about having him in you, like, yesterday.

He didn’t savor the moment so that he could push into you, he just did it. The feeling of each piercing bumping your hole on the way in. It felt fucking good, but also his dick stretching you out was intense and stung like a papercut.

His hands held your thighs down into your stomach- giving you a novice contortionist experience, and you could see the veins in his forearm pop a little. Your mind raced with the following anxieties; ‘What if a piercing cuts my insides and I die from sepsis or something? What if a piercing ball comes off and is lost inside me forever? Maybe I should stretch more.’ The first two were irrational but maybe not so much so, or else you wouldn’t be thinking of them. You’re not the first woman to think any of it.

“Fuck- there we go. Shit. You feel incredible, baby.” He dropped the doll in favor of calling you baby this time, making you squeeze around him as he bottoms out, balls against your ass. Yep. A bruised cervix was in your future. Going to have to come up with an excuse for why you won’t be able to get out of bed for the next few days. You thought other girls were just exaggerating this whole time about feeling yourself be split open, what the hell was he trying to do? Dig out your uterus with his dick? Does he really have to be so deep? It’s, like, really hot and feels really fucking good, but also, slightly uncomfortable. Maybe it’s the position.

Either way, he’s feeding your ego.

You let your head relax onto the bed instead of continuing to hold it up, ‘cause doing that was much more painful.

“God.” You muttered, relieved to be full and get the virginity loss out of the way. You should be getting a cake and celebration for this, if it wasn’t your uncle. But still. Taking big, pierced dick deemed trophy worthy. Or maybe a plaque.

Leon gazed down at you through straight locks, shaking them out of his face a little. He pulled himself out, minus the tip, before pushing back in with a groan- his Adam’s Apple bobbing hypnotically. Your spine arched, lifting your back off the mattress and your hands dug into your own thighs, helping hold them in place.

“You like that, huh?” He asked, the difference between it being pure hormones and condescension was blurred. Could have been both. He doesn’t give that much of a timeframe to start dragging his cock in and out of you, slowly picking up speed and bottoming out each time- balls slapping against your bottom.

You babble nonsensically, the ribbed sensation of his piercings almost sending you into hysterics. Something about yes, yes. I love it. Need you to fuck me so hard that my dad disowns me because I’m wheelchair bound and he knows why.

“Feels good, baby. I know it. Bet it’s hitting places you didn’t even know you had.” If he wasn’t so fucking hot, you’d probably have the ick from how cocky he is. Or not, you’re fucked up.

He leaned forward over you more to tangle into your hair, guiding your head to more of an angle and exposing your neck. You were so overwhelmed from how hard and deep he’s fucking you, not to mention his dick feels like how you imagine a beginner level bad dragon dildo to feel. Or maybe a less monster-y version anyways. It just feels fucking good and that’s all you needed to care about. Soft, airy cries crawl their way from your throat and leave you between that and moaning. Uncle, please. Please, please, please, harder.

“Let it all out, that’s it. Uncle Leon’s gonna take good care of this pussy.”

You nod as much as you can with his hold on your hair, and he pants into your collarbone, sweaty and nasty on top of you. You feel like you’re almost being crushed under his weight but it’s only hotter, and gets even more when you feel his free hand slip between your damp bodies to thumb your aching and still-sensitive clit. You tighten around his cock in reaction- gasping.

“Take it, babydoll. Fuck. Show me how much you want your uncle to make you cum. Belong on my cock, you know it?”

Your brain is off somewhere in a hot air balloon, far from its preferred skull. Which is yours. He speaks in ways you didn’t imagine you’d ever get to be spoken to or even enjoy. But it’ll be the only thing that gets you off from now on, no doubt about it.

“Uh huh, belong on your dick forever. Never wanna take it out.” Yeah. You’re stupid for him.

“Fuck. That’s my girl. Keep talking like that and I’m not ever letting you go.”

You nod your head.

“Want that, want that so bad. ‘D let you fuck me whenever you want, uncle.”

His lips curl into a half-pressed grin before he’s panting again- a bead of sweat dripping onto him. You remember he did something with the AC. Yeah-to the heat in the apartment is frying you good and well. Guess he wanted the sex to be extra clammy and gross. You know, besides the incest.

“Christ. Fuck, yes.” He groans deep, throaty and carnal.

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you. You’d be the prettiest little girlfriend. Sitting around waiting to get fucked all the time. I know how needy my baby is.” Christ. You’re going to the deepest abyss in hell. You’re sure whatever torment awaits is worth it though, so it’s not a big deal right now.

“Wanna be yours.” You choke, throat dry. Ah, you remember you’re intoxicated. That must be why you’re so loose at saying this stuff.

“Open up.” He huffs, almost face to face with you but still enough that his breath is hot on your features. You’re hasty to open your mouth like a whore, Leon dribbling his gathered spit down onto your tongue.

“Gotta keep you hydrated, baby. Can’t have that throat getting raw, can we?” You nod, there’s so many nasty things happening you can’t process it properly- unaware of everything as you cum a second time on his hand, squeezing his dick like a much softer and less dangerous guillotine.

His thrusts were a little more sloppy and erratic- alcohol fully set in for the both of you. Normally, he’d be able to hold off his orgasm a little longer- but combatting it wasn’t an option in this drunken state.

“Christ- so fucking pretty and tight when you cum on my dick. Gonna cum too, baby. Don’t think I can pull out right now.”

You shake your head no.

“Don’t pull out, please. Please uncle, ‘ll do whatever you want.”

He laughs brokenly, choked up from the moans that need to come out first.

“God, yes. Okay. Gonna fill this sweet pussy up, baby.”

He focuses a few more thrusts, hard enough to make it hurt a little and sloppy enough to still be just the right amount of perfect.

“Here it comes, baby. Need you to take i- shit.” He buried deep inside you as he came hard, rasped voice and all while he held his place firm. His hair is stuck to his face in some areas, his natural scent emanating off of the sweat droplets.

His dick spasms inside you, filling you with every bit of semen he’s got pent up in him. You could almost feel the way your cunt was full of his cum, having no room around his dick to go anywhere, really.

He relaxed a little, letting out a long, pleasurable groan. You yourself joined him in letting your body go limp as it could in this position. He grabbed your legs to straighten them out and let them wrap around his waist, making you realize they were folded too long and that they ache a bit.

He kissed your collarbone, picking up his head and kissing your cheek next.

“Mm. Did so great for me, babydoll. Not gonna be able to let you go now.” He teased, another peck to your mouth that you managed to reciprocate just in time.

“Then don’t.” You tell him, mumbling.

“I can manage that. Could easily be my girl. Would have to be our little secret, though.” He adds at the end, threading his fingers in your hair.

Yeah, you’re not turning down that offer.

[bombusbombus]

Obsessed with the idea that of the batkids everyone has like. genius level intellect and extreme murder skills and powers and stuff. And then there's Dick Grayson whose main strengths are being bendy and having emotional intelligence. And the emotional intelligence thing frankly makes him OP among his family

[strangersteddierthings]

I love a good S3 Steddie AU so—

Eddie and Robin were friends in high school, and every time they needed cover they would pretend to be dating.

So she starts working at Scoops, sees Steve not knowing he’s different now, and as a defense mechanism tells him about her “boyfriend”

Then they become buds but she still doesn’t correct the record, because she would have to explain why she lied

So Eddie comes into the shop and she’s like “That’s him!” and Steve is “🥺”

Because he and Eddie have been dating for months

THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT AT THAT LAST LINE NONNY. This story starts on July 1st (S3E3), so after they've cracked the Russian code.

-

It takes a full month of working at Scoops to get Robin to be more chill around him. He gets it. He was never outright mean to her but he was a dick in high school and his reputation lingers.

He's happy now that she's graduated from quietly distrusting him to outright teasing him. He's pretty sure it means they're friends now, or something like it. She even made that white board to mock his inability to flirt a few weeks ago. He knows he'll never get a tally in the You Rule category because he's not actually trying to flirt with anyone, what with him having a boyfriend of his own. Not that he can brag about his boyfriend as much as Robin brags about her boyfriend.

And, Jesus, did she brag at first. Steve had been convinced it was a new romance, and therefore she was still in the honeymoon phase, except she said they'd been dating since she was a freshman. With senior year starting for her in September, Steve's a little jealous.

He hopes that he and Eddie never leave their honeymoon phase. It's only been three months, and Steve's in awe that Eddie even bothered to look his way after how he'd been in school. Still in awe that Eddie wants more with Steve than just the physical. That Eddie wants cuddles during a movie, and sappy hand holding while they just chat, and to hold Steve after a nightmare on the rare occasion they get to share a bed through the night.

Anyway, the point. Robin is something of a friend and Steve's pleased about it. They have to be friends now, right? They cracked a Russian code together! (Steve refuses to give Dustin any credit for their official jump into friendship even though they wouldn't have had a Russian code to crack without him.)

"Are you and the Boy going to do anything for the Fourth?" Steve asks apropos nothing after handing off a banana split, leaving no more customers to help currently. He's a little ashamed to admit that he doesn't remember the name of her boyfriend. He's sure she said it at some point, so he's blaming his shit memory for that. But she just refers to him as the Boy, and doesn't find it weird that Steve does, too, so he'll take the win.

"Oh, uh, we haven't really discussed it. I'm scheduled closing on the Fourth so," Robin shrugs.

"We'll be in misery together," Steve says.

"Joy."

It's times like these, where Robin is so deadpan Steve can't tell if she's joking or not. Like maybe they aren't the budding friends Steve thinks they are. She's tough to read, sometimes.

"Well, even with the closing shift, there's still a lot of night left. Great time for fireworks."

"True. I'm sure The Boy is thinking up something as we speak. He likes to surprise me."

Steve's not jealous. He's not. He knows that Eddie would surprise him if they didn't have to be so secret about it all.

They do have plans for after Steve gets off work on the Fourth to go to the carnival. It's not strange for friends to go together. Maybe Steve can convince Robin come and to bring the Boy and they can just be a group of friends hanging out?

"Well, if he hasn't planned anything, maybe you and he will want to come hang out at the carnival? I'm going with a friend, maybe we'd see each other."

Robin levels him with a look, eyes squinted in judgement. "Your friends, the children?"

"I have more friends than just children!"

"I literally do not believe you. Why don't any of your age appropriate friends come bother you here, like all those kids?"

It's a valid question, Steve can concede. "That's because I do not want him to see me in this uniform. I will never live it down."

Robin raises an eyebrow. "Does he even know you work here?"

"Absolutely not. So if you do bump into us at the carnival, you are not allowed to say our place of employment. I'm serious, Robin. This will ruin me. You can say 'the mall' because that's all I'll say about it."

Robin's grin turns mischievous. "So, what I'm hearing is, I have blackmail material against the Steve Harrington?"

Steve groans. She's joking. He's like... 80% sure she's joking. He makes a mental note to ask Eddie if he knows Robin.

"Oh shit!" Robin calls out, surprised but delighted. Steve whips his head to her, and sees she's looking out the front door and through a sea of people.

"What, is it Dustin? Russians?" Steve joins her side quickly trying to see what she sees.

"No, it's-" she cuts herself off and Steve turns his head to look at her, only to find she's already looking at him. "It's my boyfriend. I don't think he's seen me yet. Want to meet him if he comes in?"

"Hell yeah I do. I need to meet the man you won't shut up about," Steve grins at her before turning his attention back to the people. His eyes scan over all of them, trying to figure out which guy looks like he might be Robin's boyfriend. Which, yes, he knows isn't something you can judge based on looks (he and Eddie are a prime example) but still.

And speaking of Eddie- no! No no! He'll never hear the end of it if Eddie sees the stupid sailor outfit. Eddie hasn't spotted him yet, so Steve slides around Robin to be out of eyesight. "You see him?"

"Yeah, he's- oh! I think he's seen me. He's coming this way," almost as an after thought, she adds, "do you remember Eddie Munson?"

Play it cool, Steve. "Uh... yes. Why? Is he coming this way? I thought I saw him out there..." Way to play it cool. If Robin didn't seem so hyped to be seeing her boyfriend, she would absolutely be questioning him.

"Oh. Well, he's my boyfriend, and yes he is."

Steve feels the floor fall out from under him.

The whole world shifts and Steve cannot stay here. He thinks he says something about a bathroom break before ducking into the employees only door, and then his body moves him further still until he's through several other doors and suddenly outside in the heat of the day.

Do you remember Eddie Munson? Well, he's my boyfriend.

He doesn't know what to do with that. Doesn't know how to process it. How to proceed. Eddie is- but he can't- this can't be real. This is a crazy dream, brought on by thoughts of Russians and codes and leftover Upside Down bullshit and he will be waking up anytime now to get ready for work.

Eddie Munson. He's my boyfriend.

He can't be your boyfriend Steve wants to scream. He can't be your boyfriend because he's mine.

Maybe... Maybe it's turning out to be that while Eddie is his boyfriend, he's not Eddie's. Maybe Eddie's never thought of him as a boyfriend.

Every instance runs through his head; all the times Eddie wouldn't stay the night. All the times Eddie told him he couldn't stay at the trailer. Is Eddie actually even in a band or is band practice just a convenient lie that keeps him from having to see Steve while still keeping him in his back pocket?

All the hiding, and the let's keep this just to us for now, and how wonderfully convenient it is that this needs to, has to, be a secret when you're in a queer relationship in a small town.

Steve's a goddman idiot!

Of course, Eddie has a girlfriend. Of course, he agreed to 'see where this thing goes.' This is why Eddie bothered to even look his direction. Because there's no scenario where Steve comes out okay. He can't even tell Robin her boyfriend isn't the fucking golden, perfect boy she brags about because how does he do that without telling her how he knows?

All the worst case scenarios play in his mind. Robin being in on it. Her and Eddie laughing at him behind his back, waiting for the right time to publicly out him. To get whatever revenge they think he owes to them for all his dick behavior in school. His whole relationship being a joke.

He lets out a yell and whips around to punch the wall next to the employee entrance door. The pain grounds him almost immediately and that yell turns into a chokes off sob, his eyes squeezing shut as he leans in to rest his forehead against the wall and take a shuddering breath.

There's no way Robin is in on this. And it was mean of him to think so. If Steve's just been some sort of experiment to Eddie, then that's on Eddie.

And Steve. For being stupid enough to believe anyone would actually be interested in him. For taking one look at Eddie's stupid dimpled smile and tripping over himself to do everything in his power to see it again. For fucking falling in love too fast, too soon, and not asking enough fucking questions and-

Oh.

That's why this hurts so much. That's why he didn't stick around to watch Eddie sweat at seeing his long-term girlfriend and- and whatever the fuck he thought Steve was working together and getting caught in whatever fuckery he's doing.

Steve's gone a fallen in love with the asshole.

He pushes off the wall, takes a deep breath to steel himself, and makes a decision. He's going to confront Eddie on the Fourth, since that's the next day they'll see each other. He'll tell him they're done, and that Eddie needs to come clean to Robin about what he's done, or he will. She deserves to know, and Steve can deal with the consequences.

When he returns the Scoops, there's no sign of Eddie, but Dustin is there.

(What Steve doesn't know is that Robin and Eddie hugged in greeting. Robin asked what he was up to. Eddie told her he was searching for his boyfriend. He works at the mall and Eddie wants to surprise him. Robin doesn't ask who he's looking for, and Eddie doesn't offer, because they both know the importance of coming out on your own terms and in your own time. Robin does ask if he's happy, and Eddie says he didn't know he could be this happy.)

Of course, what follows that is a series of terrible events that result in being stuck in an elevator, captured and tortured by Russians, drugged, and then rescued.

He and Robin end up in a bathroom, puking up their guts, and Robin says, in a Russian accent, "Interrogate me."

Steve chuckles and replies, "Okay. Interrogate you. Sure. Um... when was the last time you peed your pants?"

"Today."

"What?"

"When the Russian doctor took out the bone saw. It was just a little bit, though."

She laughs and he groans. It's definitely still in her system.

"Okay. My turn."

"Hit me."

"Have you..." she starts, leaving a pause as she thinks of what to ask, before ending with, "ever been in love?"

And Steve, horrifyingly, mortifyingly, just starts to cry. He can normally reign this in, has better control than this, but whatever drug is still in his system robs him of that.

In another universe, where Steve is able to control himself, he'd lie. He'd describe Robin, knowing she's happily taken, maybe slide himself under the partition between their stalls so she can reject him to his face, and they can laugh it off, solidifying their friendship.

But that's not what happens.

What happens instead is this: Robin, who does not slide herself across the floor but instead hauls herself upright to stumble around the partition, kneels in front of him as Steve lets out hiccupping sobs in between saying embarrassing things like yes and they don't love me back, they never love me back.

And Robin. Sweet, wonderful Robin, to whom he has been the other person in her years long relationship, tugs his arm until he's no longer hugging the toilet and is instead cradled by Robin. And she hums and assures him that whoever doesn't love him is an idiot and it makes Steve sob harder because she doesn't know and when she learns she's going to hate him.

He cannot let her continue to comfort him while he's crying about her boyfriend. It is with that sobering thought that he's able to win his war against whatever he's been injected with and stop his tears. Just in time, too, because Dustin and Erica find them, and then the Russians do, but so does El and the others.

The world is nothing but Upside Down terror for hours.

When the dust settles, Hopper is dead, and so is Billy, and Steve is sat in the back of an ambulance, hugging Robin around her shoulders as they both look out into the parking lot with matching thousand-yard stares. They've been looked over and deemed okay to go home, so Steve is just waiting for the government men currently raiding what is left of the underground Russain bunker to either find his keys, or not.

If his keys are found, he's Robin's ride. If they aren't, they're both being dropped off by ambulance, which Robin is stressing about because her parents cannot see her come home in the back of an ambulance.

Steve offers her to stay at his house. He thinks it'll be easier to beg her parents for forgiveness than explain this situation. Robin agrees to stay if the ambulance ends up being their ride.

It doesn't, though. It takes an hour after everyone else has left, but someone delivers his keys.

It's eerie, the walk from the front lot around the mall to the back employee lot, so they clasp hands to have something to ground to. There are less people the further they walk. The fire's been contained, probably so the government people can root around the bunker below the mall to discover whatever it was the Russians knew, or know, or whatever.

The back lot is completely empty. Only Steve's car, parked towards the edge of the lot give that his shift yesterday had been an afternoon one, and all the closer parking spaces had been taken.

His car is parked so that the passenger side faces them as they approach. Wordlessly, they break apart, Robin heading for her door and Steve rounding the front of the car to get to the driver's side. Except as soon as he rounds the corner, a figure that was previously crouched or sat in front of the door jumps up, lunging at Steve.

He barely has time to register the voice, a terrified sounding "Stevie!" before Steve back tracks with a yelp, out of reach of the figure. Robin screams when he does, and whoever was lunging at him stops in their tracks, whipping around to look at the other source of the noise.

"Robin?"

It's then that Steve takes in the sight before him. It's Eddie. It was Eddie leaning against his door, waiting for him. Steve's flooded with a rush of love, his stupid brain deciding that Eddie must have been worried when Steve didn't meet him for the carnival. Had come to look for him. But then the reality of the situation settles over him.

That might have been true, but now he's seen that Steve is here with his girlfriend and this isn't how he wanted to do this but he will.

For Robin, he will. She deserves better.

"What are you doing here!? Besides scaring the shit out of us!" Robin yells, rounding the car to punch Eddie in the arm.

"Ow, Buckley, what the fuck!" Eddie rubs the spot she punched him, looking between Robin and Steve with... confusion? Steve is expecting to see maybe some remorse, or guilt, or maybe even glee at the fact stupid Steve Harrington was able to be so easily fooled. He doesn't see any of that, though.

Eddie takes a step towards him, and Steve flinches back.

Robin steps up to Eddie, like she wants to pull Eddie into a hug, but he stops her with a hand on her shoulder. He looks from Robin to Steve again, then back to Robin. Steve can't see his face, his hair hides his profile, but he can see Robin's face. Her confusion, brows furrowed, before her eyes go wide and now she's looking between Steve and Eddie.

Fuck. She's just put it together herself! She's going to hate Steve forever, homewreaker that he is.

"Oh. Oh no," Robin whispers, then says Eddie's name in a devastated tone. "Eddie. Is it-?"

"I-I can't... Robin," Eddie says back, sounding just as hurt.

"No! No, I told him- Eddie, I told him we were dating!" she turns to Steve, then, and blurts, "I'm a lesbian!"

He doesn't know what to do with that information. "What?"

"I lied. Steve, I lied, I'm a lying liar and I'm so sorry," Robin says, shoving Eddie away from herself and towards Steve.

Maybe the drugs are still working because Steve still doesn't understand. "I don't... what?"

"I'm not dating Eddie," Robin says. "I've never dated Eddie, would never date Eddie because I don't want to date boys. Please, Steve, I never meant to make you think-" but she cuts herself off, looking from Steve to Eddie and back, before saying, "I never meant to make you think you were unlovable."

Eddie makes a wounded noise at that. "What did you say to him, Buckley!?"

Robin lied. Robin lied about dating a boy. Because she's not interested in boys? That doesn't make sense. That- oh. She lied about having a boyfriend for the same reason he's lied about not having a boyfriend. Because it isn't safe to not to.

Steve's legs give out, but he doesn't hit the pavement because Eddie catches him and the three of them sob and cling to each other in the dark of the parking lot.

Later, much later, the truth will come out. Steve will learn they've always been each other's covers but never actually together. Robin will apologize because she blames herself for Steve's bathroom, drugged-breakdown, and Steve apologizes for all the awful thoughts he had about Eddie when he thought Eddie was dating them both and lying about it.

Steve will learn that Eddie loves him, too, just as much as Steve loves him.

[i-yap]

Literally loving ur writing so far Bestie 🥺💙would I be able to req how the batboy would react to a fwb/situationship vibe with reader? Like they have feelings but reader is scared of commitment

Thank youuu! Im gonna be really honest, I don't think a lot of the batboys would be okay with a situationship sort of deal.. and I don't write romantic damian( at least not yet) .

Batboys x reader- Situationship headcanons

Dick grayson-

I can see a teammate or someone he works close with as a detective turns into a night of passion and now both of them cant go back to normal situation .

He says he is okay with it, and prolly keeps up that act for 4-5 months?

I think you would end the situationship. Dick is a really sought-after guy and one night he Is just upset with you about something. So when another girl flirts with him rather than his usual " I'm sorry there's someone else I'm into" line he flirts back. You see red

you either walk away angry/upset or pull him away. He follows you to an alley or a secluded area of the party.

"why are you even upset, you are the one who doesn't want us to be official?" "well that's not because I don't want you, that's because I'm scared of intimacy"

He would be really understanding once you explain your issues and fear of commitment. You guys come up with a better set of guidelines for your arrangement and he sticks to it.

if you want an open relationship, he is down. if you want to be exclusive but not yet in a relationship relationship he would be okay.

But dick does want to get married someday and have kids. So this arrangement wont last for long. he will try his hardest to help you overcome that fear of commitment but if you cant then its gonna end someday. And he makes that clear to you from the start. all cards are on the table always and communication is key and he makes sure no one gets hurt( or at least tries avoiding it as much as he can)

Jason todd

wont do it

maybe a bestfriend turned situationship scenario

you are his sanctuary , his home a safe place to come back to. and after everything he has been through he struggles with so many insecurities and he deserves a domestic life.

the moment he sees you with another guy, even if it just flirting, he is out the door. He already believes no one loves him and now you don't even want to commit to him? is he not enough?

he gets that you have issues and no one understands issues better than him. But he is in so much pain already that its best for the both of you to not get together at all.

even the fact that you from the very start didn't want to commit makes him get all in his head and even if you get ready to commit later on , he wont be able to forget that fact and will keep thinking you'll leave him or he isn't the one

he also reads a lot of classic literature and romance in books is what he wants. the concept of a situationship doesn't make sense to him and he just needs some good old domestic loving.

Tim drake

best at it

you guys are young, he is so busy. he is totally cool with a teenage dirtbagy relationship

lets meet under the bridge , get high and makeout type of shit,

Partners in crime / bestfriends that hookup

he loves it, its perfect for him

there are no expectations no responsibilities, you guys are just what the other needs . no stupid anniversaries and big fancy dinners

tim gives very "eat the rich" vibes so this situationship is another way for him to be a little rebellious .

Very very teenage dirtbag- going to grocery shops at 2am and sitting on the dirty floor trying all 20 types of slushies

spray painting the really big asshole companies buildings, going to huge rallies without having any idea what you are rallying for.

stealing the batmobile and then crashing it

the adrenaline makes you hot and bothered and it leads to more. and once its over you go to a shady Chinese place and tip 200 on a 40 dollar meal.

he gets you, you get him and you don't need labels to show your love to each other. and who needs someone else when you have everything you could want within each other? and then someday when you're ready and if you are ready, you can always make it official. its all up to you two , fuck the labels

[deaddovedecadence]

hello ! I hope you’re well I wanted to ask you if are planning to do something about the platonic batfamily ? Thank you for your work, you’re literally my favorite blog 🥰. (sorry if there are spelling mistakes)

Ah thank you for the question i love it so much! What we’re doing today is breaking down each yandere and how they treat you in order

Alfred: very gentle, very caring. He makes you think that he’s on your side only to betray you if you ever try to run away. His loyalty is to the health and well being of the family and if you left it would nasty for all parties involved. He isn’t overly possessive, and is the most likely to let you out and about (so long as you’re with him or another trusted member of the family)

Bruce: At least you were a tool for making up with his son, but he grew to see you as his own child. You’re younger then Dick so he treats you as such, and is very unlikely to let you out of his grip,/let you out of the house because he’s paranoid. He’s the ultimate possessive yandere, wanting to keep you safe in the house at all times. He’s like this with his children too but because they’re fighters/have proven themselves it’s a lot different

Dick: Good luck with this. Dick sees you as someone who deserves childhood, who deserves to be young, so he treats you younger then you actually are. He’s very possessive, and almost doesn’t realize that you’re capable of taking care of yourself and he’s ver y smothering because of that. He’s the type of yandere to be in his own world and not really see. things as they actually are..

Jason: Caretaker to the fucking MAX. He likes. taking care of people and things that he considers his and you are absolutely one of those things to him. He needs to tak3 of things because it makes him feel real, feel. focused again especially when he’s tired of angry. The least likely to ever hurt you but will break you mentally if he has to.

Cass: does not get it, at first. She doesn’t understand why her family wants something that she perceives as helpless as one of them. Cass is all about getting her shit done and you interfere with that. It isn’t until she sees Jason visibly relax around you and stay in the same room as bruce that she understands. You keep things stable which means that you need to stay. She‘ s obsessively, can be cruel and uses physical punishment like forced dancing or sparring to keep you in check if you leave or deny your place in the family.

Tim: Oh good fuck. Tim is pretty close to yandere in canon, he’s terrifying, possessive of what he thinks is his and cruel as hell. with you he’s cruel cold, only to turn gentle when he deems it the right moment. Tim wants to break you because that means that you won’t run away and try to go and be somewhere else (with someone else). Tim is sadiastic and if he and damian are working together it’s best to go and beg jason for sanctuary from them.

Duke: Honeslty you aren’t sure whether he’s like you or like them at first because Duke is so easy doing, listens to your problems so well and makes. you feel like you’r valid for being angry. It’s all true what he says, it’s just that he also is on his family’s side about you and is slowly working his way into your heart in a way that the others can’t because they’ve never been where you (and he) has. Duke is the gentle yandere unless you really manage to make him angry by getting hurt in any way.

Damian: I wish you the best of luck. Damian is the son of thalia and bruce. His ver y nature is to be possessive over anything that he considers his and you are his. You’re his older sibling in a way that Dick is, someone to be trusted, someone to ask questions too, but that does not mean he’ll let you escape. If anything the thought makes him infuriated and he’s likely to blow up. Damian is obsessive, and sadistic, willing to do anything if it means that you’re safe at home with him.

[leclerc-s]

the tortured poets department

series masterlist

liked by danieljonesricciardo, blakelively, yukitsunoda0511 and others

daphnejonesricciardo the tortured poets department. an anthology of new works that reflect events, opinions and sentiments from a fleeting and fatalistic moment in time - one that was both sensational and sorrowful in equal measure. this period of the author's life is now over, the chapter closed and boarded up. there is nothing to avenge, no score to settle once wounds have healed.and upon further reflection, a good number of them turned out to be self-inflicted. this writer is of firm belief that our tears become holy in the form of ink on a page. once we have spoke out saddest story, we can be free of it.

and then all that's left behind is the tortured poetry.

the tortured poets department is out now.

user has restricted comments

danieljonesricciardo wow.

danieljonesricciado that's my wife??

danieljonesricciardo i'm so proud of you. i love you.

↳ daphnejonesricciardo i love you too danny

danieljonesricciado how did i get so lucky??

isabellaperez if i sob to this album. no one say anything.

↳ landonorris i'll join you. crying session in isa's hotel room.

↳ logansargeant wait for me!!

mclaren if admin is found crying in a corner that's on us.

visacashapprb oh no. i feel the tears coming and i'm only 1 track in.

scuderiaferrari are these tears that i feel coming?

redbullracing i will be out of commission for the next few hours while i process this.

alex_albon you've outdone yourself daphne.

maxjonesverstappen1 i now understand why you people shut yourself in that studio for so long. it's amazing daphne.

↳ charles_leclerc you're such a hater, i helped too!

↳ maxjonesverstappen1 you wrote piano piece shut up.

↳ charles_leclerc this is why i don't follow you. all you do is bully me.

rhysjones ARE YOU PROUD OF YOURSELF? YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK!! I AM SOBBING!!

fernandoalo_oficial any songs about me daph? or our secret love affair?

↳ danieljonesricciardo please stop flirting with my wife or people will start rumors again.

↳ fernandoalo_oficial admit it, you're just jealous i could steal your wife like you were jealous of killatrav when he publicly announced he was in love with your wife.

↳ danieljonesricciardo this is why i don't like you.

alex_albon sick and twisted is the best way to describe you jones-ricciardo. i literally hate you right now.

georgerussell63 there's no way the girl who writes about max's dick is the one who helped write the songs on this album. i refuse to believe it.

↳ maejonesverstappen better believe it bitch!

patriciooward oh no this album will kill me.

isabella perez you are sick and twisted daphne jones-ricciardo

isabella perez SICK AND TWISTED!!

logan sargeant currently sobbing to florida!!!

bailey winters claiming so long london.

lando norris WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN BAILEY?? bailey winters IT MEANS I LOVE THE SONG YOU FUCKING MUPPET!!!

mae jones-verstappen wow we outdid ourselves this time around.

charles leclerc of course we did. it's our masterpiece.

daphne jones-ricciardo a true masterpiece. the work of five geniuses.

pierre gasly i wouldn't call charles a genius. rowan todd at least he didn't get married in vegas while he was drunk. natalia ruiz we did things a little backwards but yeah pierre!

freya vettel mick wouldn't break up with me so i could get the full experience. that's blasphemous!!

mick schumacher WHY WOULD I BREAK UP WITH YOU?? IT TOOK US TOO LONG TO GET OUR SHIT TOGETHER??

freya vettel IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO MICKOLAS!

zoya torres i can confirm that logan is crying to florida!!! it's on a loop in his drivers room.

arthur leclerc i don't believe my brother helped write any of this album. he's not smart enough for that.

ollie bearman why am i sobbing??

oscar piastri it's a very emotional album

sebastian vettel it's an amazing album daphne!

penelope trevino that feature with florence was amazing

george russell i bet lewis wishes that was him on fortnight instead of post malone

lewis hamilton why do you people always have to drag me into things?

rhys jones rip xnda you would've loved being on a daphne jones album.

sebastian vettel he's not dead??

lance stroll it's a meme seb. sebastian vettel oh okay.

pato o'ward MY NEW HYPE SONG IS DOWN BAD

isabella perez because he's down bad for gael

gael perez i will fucking fight you isabella maria perez

max jones-verstappen DOES SHE OR DOES SHE NOT HAVE A MIDDLE NAME??

oscar piastri she does. it's juliana. isabella perez OSCAR!

esteban ocon crying in club to the entire album.

charles leclerc a win for the sad bitches (me)

dulce perez the extra 15 songs destroyed me. i was already sad and then daphne had to go and kill me.

natalia leclerc can you believe charles refused to call off our engagement so i could experience the full album in all it's pain?

daphne jones-ricciardo that seems horrible. let's run away together

fernando alonso where's daniel? he's usually the first one here screaming about how he loves the album and daphne.

rhys jones crying in his room over the album. there was a solid 15 minutes where he spent screaming "did i hurt you?" to no one in particular. the cats left him and joined me instead.

rowan todd ending the album was a 10/10 but ending it with the manuscript was a 4823014/10

carlos sainz i will never recover from this.

ollie bearman SOMEBODY SEDATE ME!!

oscar piastri he's still crying in bella's arms.

isabella perez WE'RE CRYING TOGETHER!! pato o'ward MAKE ROOM FOR ME!! I'M COMING TO CRY!! gael perez YOU'RE IN LONG BEACH!! THEY'RE IN CHINA!! dulce perez WHEN THERE'S A WILL THERE'S A WAY BITCH!

max jones-verstappen can't believe i made it onto another daphne jones-ricciardo album. that's 4 out of 11!!

natalia ruiz Y'ALL I'M ON A DAPHNE JONES-RICCIARDO ALBUM!!!

fernando alonso daphne, i knew you were in love with me!

daniel jones-ricciardo BACK THE FUCK OFF OLD MAN!

daniel jones-ricciardo THAT'S MY FUCKING WIFE!!

daniel jones-ricciardo DAPHNE ALISON JONES-RICCIARDO I FUCKING LOVE YOU

daniel jones-ricciardo SHE HAS MORE TALENT THAN I DO IN MY PINKY TOE!!

daniel jones-ricciardo YOUR BRAIN WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS!

daniel jones-ricciardo I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!!!!

rhys jones we knew it would take fernando to get you back.

zoya torres and if i cried to clara bow?

bailey winters anyone who says they didn't cry is lying.

rhys jones i will go to my grave wishing i got a daphne x xnda collab.

pato o'ward I LOVE THIS ALBUM!!

pato o'ward ISA!! WE HAVE TO CRY TOGETHER TO THIS ALBUM!!

isabella perez i will always cry to this album and i'm in a happy and healthy relationship.

gael perez for once.

dulce perez says the one who broke up with his boyfriend because he was scared.

pato o'ward woah

daniel jones-ricciardo i expect all of you to be playing this album over the weeked in your garages. make me proud children.

taglist: @burningcupcakefire @arkhammaid @applopie @sunflower-golden-vol6 @lorarri @bb-swift @thewannabewriter @mypage-myfandoms @stopeatread @hobiismyhopeu @lilsiz @alessioayla @niniluvsainz @au-ghosttype @six-call @justtprachisblog @nichmeddar @landonorizzz @unluckyyoshi @cool-ultra-nerd @kami10471633 @1nt3rnetgf @fernandoswarcrimes @arieltwvdtohamflash @brekkers-whore @natcha888 @camdensreg @mycenterfold @dear-fifi @georgeparisole @dan3avocado @nikfigueiredo @bella-1 @namgification @jensonsonlybutton @weekendlusting @trouble-sistar @lesliiieeeee @leclercsluv @33-81 @theseus-jpg @sarah-thatstings-ann @minmira95 @casperlikej @formulaonebuff @hopenshaw @ijustgomessitupx @hwalllllllelujah @doodlehunz @prongsvault

¡leclerc-s speaks! does the tagging actually work?? cause when i do it looks like it works but i'm not quite sure if it actually does work or not. anyways, happy ttpd release! this was supposed to come out sooner but i got distracted watching grey's anatomy.

¡disclaimer! this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!

[alwaysaslutforfic]

Tsukki Headcanons ❤️ - NSFW

Just some musings on my favourite Sendai Frogs middle blocker ☺️

Warnings: nothing super explicit. Mentions of sending nudes, hair pulling, and oral sex

Minors keep away from the cut and DNI!

Beta readers? Pft

Listens to any and everything but with a purpose 👌🏾. Ask him for a recommendation in any genre and he’ll give you a top 5 tier list. Has playlists arranged by mood, genre, vibe and occasion (he even has one for you that he will literally never tell you about but plays often. He just tells you it’s his favourite mix). Dude is highkey a music snob. Like he’ll listen to a song in any genre but it better be a fucking ✨S tier song✨ or he will Judge. Will never concede the aux cord.

Meanest tutor ever. Will have you crying at the kitchen table asking the same question till you get it right. “If Johnny has 5 apples! 😤” typa tutor. But his notes are amazing and he’ll always lend them without question.

We already know how I feel about clingy Tsukki. But let me reiterate: this man is obsessed with being in your personal space. Like ”I’m gonna go take a shower.” ”….. without me? 😒”

But he also respects your space when you need it. Just don’t be gone too long or he’ll get lonely. He’s highkey touch starved.

An impeccable driver. And unreasonably hot while doing it. I��m talking hand on thigh, arm on headrest when reversing, will do your seatbelt HOT. And you’re his favourite passenger princess. Tsukki refuses to let anyone adjust your seat. If they’re feeling cramped they’re more than welcome to sit in the back, or even better, walk.

A great cook. He lets you be the taste tester when you cook together. If you can’t cook this is the one time he has an amount of patience teaching you. He is, however, a horrendous baker. Tried to make you valentines day chocolates and you had to throw out the tea towels cos they somehow ended up singed. You laughed till you cried he’d have been hurt about it if you weren’t so beautiful

Likewise, his actions speak louder than his words when it comes to affection. Obviously he compliments you and tells you he loves you, but only on special occasions like birthdays, christmases and blowing your back out ten ways till sunday. But mostly he’ll show you how much he cares by treating you like royalty. Carries your bags while calling you weak, says ‘no’ every single time you ask for a favour but does it anyways, takes you for walks to your favourite ice cream shop and pays for both of you while you bitch about a character in your dumb show that he hates (read: binges with you and gets invested in)

A slip it in while you watch a movie kinda dude. At this point the Netflix subscription is for show. There is literally no point in trying to watch something with him because your legs will be over his shoulders way before the halfway mark.

Much like his actions speaking louder than words, he’s willing to try anything once if you suggest it. This has led to a very interesting bedroom life. There were obviously things that you both decided weren’t for you, but Tsukki would do anything to please you even if he’d never confess it. Once you asked for a personalised dildo so you could have his dick whenever you wanted as a joke. It was there by next week.

Loves fucking you in public. You guys are banned from THREE different lingerie stores. You’re 65% sure he only takes you out so much so he can find somewhere to fuck you, since it’s how most of your dates end. The Karasuno gang clocked you two on a club night when Noya and Tanaka took a badly timed trip to the bathroom. They are constantly embarrassed when you two go missing for half an hour and return dishevelled.

Send. Him. Nudes 😩 Especially when he’s busy. He sends them back and holy shit are they art personified. He heard “don’t send dick pics, send cumshot vids with the sound on” and boy did he run with it in the best of ways. Has a password protected folder for all the filth you send each other.

Speaking of nudes, his dick is so pretty. He doesn’t even manscape. It’s just long and slightly curved with just the right amount of hair. Also so much pre-cum. He was actually a little embarassed by it until he saw how much you loved licking him clean.

Pull his hair and listen to him moan. If you pull it hard enough when he’s close he will just cum. He definitely wasn’t embarrassed the first time it happened. Now it’s sort of a game to see if you can use it to get him off when he’s going down on you.

He’s reconciled with the fact that he has a volleyball brain. Seeing you at his games, and feeling your eyes on him as he jumps blocks is like foreplay to him. It’s always a race to see how quickly he can get you naked and under him after a match.

I will undoubtly have more thoughts on this, because I spend an unreasonable amount of time thinking about Tsukishima Kei

[crushedsweets]

What do the proxies think of each other?

this is gonna be kinda messy and disorganized but i got it HANDLED

again, THIS IS ALL MY AU!!! there is a streamline, detailed plot that intertwines, so these characters mingle and grow in ways they probably wouldnt in canon, since different events follow them here O/S Syndrome = Operator/Slender Syndrome, aka slender sickness

Toby: He thinks of Brian and Tim kinda like shitty uncles who only come around every now and again . they used to taunt him a lot cuz toby was always like. annoying, selfish, sarcastic - so it would piss them off, and they'd piss toby off, and then it would be pretty bad. but as toby gets older and calms the fuck down, it gets better between them . he gets pretty sad when they eventually cut him(and everyone) off to move to like, canada or oregon or something.

he likes kate. theyre both outcasts even in a group of creeps and killers and literal monsters.... so toby's always been nice to her. when she refused to come to the cabin, he ended up dragging a mattress over to the mines for her. brings her food, gallons of water, t shirts. she owns random band t shirts that she doesnt even listen to cuz toby gave it to her LMFAOOO . he's the reason kate starts coming and staying at the cabin

Kate: she hates tim. completely cannot stand him. she hates when slendy makes them work together. he's been a dick to her since he met her, because their first time meeting was um. her dragging tim through the forest while he was unconscious. and she was generally part of what tormented him during the events of marble hornets (IN MY AU OBVIOUSLY). he's also uncomfortable because when she kills people she does it with her bare hands. will lick the blood and dirt and grime off her fingers. generally freaky.

she's better with brian. he doesn't remember her tormenting him so much during MH, but he still knows - but he's better at empathizing with her situation. he kinda pieced together what happened to her, while tims just blinded by like. anger and trauma. dont get me wrong, brian is still uncomfortable around her (again, she acts really scary when working), but when she's not working and she just sits there. she looks so tired, and she's so quiet, and its sad. he feels for her.

she likes toby, too. first person to treat her fully like a person after becoming a proxy without her having to like, beg for it (directly or indirectly). again, he brings her things, he's kind to her, laughs with her. he'll tease her and make fun of her but she can tell it's not with ill intent so she'll do it back - she considers him her best friend for a while.

Tim:

HE'S A HATER HE'S A HATER HE'S A HATER ok i know i call him an asshole and say he's mean a lot but i legit am not mad at him and i think he is within reason (like 60% of the time) since like. kates dragged his unconscious body through the forest and left him covered in scratches/bruises, toby's almost always throwing the first punch, he's had his entire life derailed for so fucking long, and these kids don't make it any easier- he could've been in kates position, which is the one thing that makes him kinda hesitate when he wants to say smth mean. he usually isnt an asshole unprompted, but he'll always take it the second step.

a lot different for brian. he wanted him dead for a while too. blamed him for a lot of stuff, but at this point he........... has nobody else. brian is his friend. i feel like writing too much about the complication of their relationship kinda takes away from it. theyre roommates, they leave together, they'd fight tooth and nail to stay in eachothers lives. despite everything

Brian:

i feel like i dont have a lot to say about brian since I already described everyone else's relationship...

just to sum it all up with him, he cares more about all three of them then he lets on. but he's also a lot better at showing he cares. he brings some basic groceries and beer and shit over to the cabin pretty frequently, he'll hang around toby and if kates there, ask if she needs anything. she usually just shakes her head, but on the off chance she says she wants like. a specific drink. he kinda feels like he got +1 friendship points with her LMFAOOO . and obviously he jokes around and messes with toby when they're not fighting

and again, same thing with tim. that's his friend. he's missing a LOT of memories from the events of MH, but tim hasn't hesitated in telling him how he feels about it... and he feels bad. it all sucks. even now, he says things he doesnt mean, just because all of the guilt and anger and trauma gets him and tim both riled up. then they go get a drink together and move on

overall, the proxies are pretty messy. brian and tim arent very present anymore, toby and kate are sort of taking on their 'in charge' roles. their relationship slowly mends itself over time, since my AU largely focuses on improvement and recovery and redemption (HOWEVER MUCH THEY CAN ALL THINGS CONSIDERED...), but its still pretty bad

[thefourthwifeoftengenuzui]

Hiiii bonten Rindou hc???? Pleaseee. Love him frr

To be honest, I intended for this to be almost exclusively for haikyuu… BUT FOR YOU MY FRIEND! *pounds chest* I SHALL GIVE YOU THE RINNY OF YOUR DREAMS. Also you didn’t specify what kind you want so ima give you my finest shit, which happens to be my head cannon prowess. (Totally not because I hate writing dialogue, no,no, that’s so stupid 😳) Also important side note: I aint spend days finishing the Tok rev manga not to use it tf outta here. Tokrev and Jjk content is welcomed proudly.

idk if I’ll make a part 2, but on the off chance I do, look foreword to girldad Rinny content.

status: unedited

warnings: cursing, slightly sexual situations (but no smut), mafia bs, blood? Fluffy bullshit, Rindou being a dick hole, the ick, my bad Spanish

💜Bonten Rindou Hataini. Headcannons~💜

The first thing off the bat, I definitely think he is on the demisexual spectrum. I know everyone else be saying that he would be all about just sleeping around like that, but to be honest, I think that that’s more of a Ran thing. I feel like the only reason he would go to strip clubs and shit like that for work, and would actually be really grossed out when people would coddle him. If he was to have a significant other, it would have to be someone he has known for a long time, or from his old delinquent days. My best idea would be a calm friend who would give him the notes from his skipped classes. And in return he’d take them out for food or some shit. Somewhere along the way y’all would just be like, “we’re totally together right?” “Duh, why else would I put up with you.” Yeah he a lil bitch.

Any way, as for him as an adult, all I gotta say is “Mmmm Papí ¿quieres una besito?~”. Like Jesus Christ man has no right being this freaking fine. Sexy Jellyfish ass boy

Yakuza Daddy🥵. This man will spoil the everlasting shit outta you, and go to Walmart for his own shit. But had does it in the most obnoxious way possible. He gets you a necklace? “Hey babe, gotchu this, your old one was musty af, take better care of your shit.” Awww you want a new dress? “Sure babe, but just know that thing barely covers shit, and will be gone by the end of the night.” You want something just random? “Wtf am I a walking ATM? No, pick it tf up, I’m buying it, you can’t stop me. Quit arguing before I buy you 3 more.”

But when it comes to himself? Yeah he only indulges in suits and Jordan’s. Other than that, he has an avengers shirt he had since he was 12 and a pinball machine. That’s the extent of his possessions. Well that and the watch you got him for his birthday, but shhhhh he can’t let you know he cares ewwwww.

Man is literally the biggest (for lack of better word) Tsundere. Like Top three in anime. Like you got 1.Kageyama 2.Sasuke 3. Him. Like manz would rather die than say he cares. His love language is quality time and gift giving, so he’s more show you he loves you, but won’t say it first. The kinda mf that when you say I love you to them say, “Yeah I know, I love me too if only there was someone out there who loved you.” Like manz is so obvious I wanna kiss him to shut him the fuck up. (I think I have a type.) like bro the me love you tf?

In terms of icks there is one thing I no for fact. This mf wears socks to bed. And not the cute fluffy kind. The musty ass crusty socks he wore all day, then stepped in water, and now you gotta deal with it while yall cuddling. I hate this mf.

On a more serious note, because of his Bonten Bs, he doesn’t have a lot of time for us. So we make time. His time. We just barge in during his meetings, lay across his lap, watch TikTok’s, while everyone (him) are just looking like “is this bitch serious!?” >:|

Anyways, because he’s so busy all the time, the majority of what he wants to do when he gets home is just to sprawl out on the couch and just stay there. You can cuddle with him too or whatever he doesn’t mind🙄. But fair warning, he’s the kinda dude who is only ever in the mood for either ww2 documentary’s or like deep sea documentary’s. Like mf has the same movie taste as my dad, I can’t with him. It’s a good day when you can convince him to try something actually entertaining. And you know what he picks? The Fucking exorcist. He’s an asshole. The kinda dude to pretend he’s unfazed, but his left leg physically won’t stop shaking.

speaking of movies, I know I say this every time, but scream Halloween costumes. Yes. Give me Rinny as ghostface please, I’ll freaking sell my soul. Especially if it’s not the robe but one of the like dry fit and leather harness- *incomprehensible pterodactyl noises* 🥵

anyway back to cuddling, his go to position is literally the Hakari and Kirara thing. Like this mf will always have a hand on your ass. He doesn’t like PDA but this? Yeah you can’t stop him. He is an ass guy, it’s just where his hand naturally gravitates.

I cannot explain the urge to play daddies home by usher every time I see him. Like he and my baby daddy Gojo have partial custody over that song. Like bro. Yes.

Tbh I don’t see him having a big wedding. Or any wedding. I think his thing would be just handing you his debit card and saying “pick some shit out. No, don’t worry bout the price I’m rich for a reason.” And after that yall just elope to some tropical place across the planet for like a month.

speaking of travel it’s a pretty common thing for you. Just that it’s always last minute. Like bro don’t even give you time to brag to the your friends. Man just pulls up 10 minutes before y’all need to go to the airport and says, “get ready, we’re going to France. How long? Idk a month? Boo hoo bitch. Stay home then. Mhm that’s wtf k thought”. Manz is such an ass but you gotta love a walking wallet.

My last thought I’m gonna share is how he physically won’t use nicnames. Like babe is the physically most he can bring himself to do. Maybe baby. He gives himself the ick every time he thinks of doing anything else

all in all, he’s the one who is always there for you, and expects the same. He’s a great guy, under all the stress and yakuza bs. Treat him well, or I’ll treat him better😤

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ sorry this took me so long to write, I’m working on another request too, and more importantly, my final exams for collage, love that. But even do, if you liked this, please like and request something, and I will definitely be posting. Love y’all so much, I’ll see yall later.

[suzukiblu]

I just wanted to say, yesterday I sat down and binge-read all your Timkon fics, as well as most of the WIPS, and I BADLY want to write some now. I've never really written Tim, tho, since I'm more used to writing Jason. Do you have any tips, or bits of Tim and Kon characterization you consider especially important? (The WIP I've made on my head, if it helps, is (Daemon AU) comics!Tim ends up on Young Justice!Cartoon universe, and he's very, very weirded out by how different Kon is to Conner, and very pissed off that this Conner gets a Daemon while his Kon doesn't have one.)

tbh it kinda depends on where you're trying to go with the fic idea, I'd say? Also why Conner DOES have a daemon and Kon doesn't, probably. Also-also, does Conner even actually have a daemon or is Tim just confused about Wolf or something.

Generally speaking, though, the thesis of Tim is that he is a ride-or-die guy who really fucking COMMITS when he makes a decision. Sure, he'll stalk Batman. Sure, he'll introduce himself to Nightwing and tell him he knows his secret identity. Sure, he'll put on the suit Jason died in to go save Batman and Nightwing from their own stupid selves. Sure, he'll be Batman's emotional support sidekick and lead Young Justice and the Teen Titans and try to clone his dead best friend and run around the planet solo to save Bruce from the timestream. Why not! SOMEBODY'S gotta do it!!

"Somebody's gotta do it" is a lot of Tim's motivation, from what I can tell, haha. He also comparmentalizes really well, is a very talented and skilled detective as his defining Robin skill, uses a bo staff as his signature weapon after convincing Lady Shiva to train him and was the dude who was smart enough to add pants to the Robin suit, and one of his more iconic lines is I think Cassie going, "you lied to Starfire?" and him answering, "I lie to Batman". Which he does. Frequently. Frequently and a LOT-ly. To be fair, Bruce is also a fucking liar, so he deserves it. Tim, however, actually has friends he will ADMIT are his friends without having to be waterboarded into it during an active apocalypse-level crisis.

The boy has no chill. He DISGUISES his lack of chill, but it is fucking nonexistent and the ONLY reason he looks "reasonable" is because his besties are the teen idol superclone with limited life experience and Stephanie "welp my dad's gone supervillain so I'm gonna go kick him in the dick with my intermediate gymnastics" Brown. And then there's Cassie "I'm just gonna ask Zeus for superpowers, natch" Sandsmark.

Also Bart. Also Bart is a thing. Bart is SO MUCH a thing.

So yeah, Tim is a full-stop no-holds-barred insane person, he's just also a better liar than any of his friends. Like so, so much better. AT LEAST THEY HAVE SUPERPOWERS, TIM. AT LEAST THEY'VE GOT THAT. He figured out Bruce's secret identity at NINE 'cuz he went to the circus as a toddler and Dick Grayson's flips were just that sick, and then just didn't tell anybody for FOUR FUCKING YEARS. Four fucking YEARS!! ACTUAL FUCKING YEARS. He just didn't think it was relevant, I guess?!!? So instead he just stalked them with his camera and took cool pics. So many pics. So, so many pics. And he skateboards.

Also he and Kon fucking could NOT stand each other at first because Kon was used to being a solo act and didn't want to answer to anyone else and Tim lacked the ability to convince him to listen to him and they just had VERY different personalities and priorities, and also for a little while in there Match was fucking shit up by pretending to BE Kon, and frankly it's a fucking miracle Tim and Kon didn't kill each other before they ever got to be Titans together, the way they totally failed to get along for the first YJ run.

Seriously, I think they actually had a literal fucking fistfight on Apokolips once, I think that ACTUALLY happened. In the middle of a literal WAR that happened. Tim. Tim, you KNOW better, buddy.

[thesuperiorrobin]

Hey lovely!!

I was wondering when you write your (AMAZING AND EXTRAORDINARY) works how or like who physically do you imagine Damian as?

xx

I think I read this right?? If I didn’t let me know. (Also I’m basing all of this on stuff that I have red and watched. I only read a handful of comics) lots of grammar issues, I wrong this on the bus ride home)

Physically—comics and animated, they don’t do him justice sometimes and I know he was originally created, I believe don’t take my word for it, to kill Bruce and replace him that’s why he looks so much like him and all. Pale skin blue/green eyes all that stuff. I don’t really see him like that because Damian’s was raised by the league of assassins and they literally trained him since he was born, so he probably spend most of his time outside in the sun( also climbing mountains and all) so like him being pale never really made since to me personally. And I know some people portray Damian having blue eyes like Bruce but I kinda like him better with green eyes, idk he looks so much like Bruce with blue eyes (even this that was the point) that it just seemed like Bruce used up all his DNA and made a human begin by himself with no help.

To me damian is also tall probably like 5’11 -6’1, and I’m not saying that just bc I can but because both his parents are tall asf ( and I’m only saying that bc I’m 5,2–been that way since 6th grade so everyone just seems tall to me) Talia is 5’8 and Bruce is 6’2 so he pretty much got his height genes from Bruce. (So additionally when I write fanfics I sometimes write from my POV when it comes to the readers height)

And he has muscle too, not like those body builders that look like they stuffed rocks inside their skin but it’s enough where people can see his muscles from the slightest of flex he does. Like c’mon he was raised by assassins, trained like one and then goes out and lives with Batman and then trains like Robin—there’s no way in hell he won’t have any.

And I’m also bringing his emotions in to Because some people will say to you that he’s not capable of caring or loving someone. Yes he does, 100% he does. Maybe not 10 year old because he was a little shit in the animated movies and what not, but he literally had a character development though out his life. In the comics and in the animated ones he has seen to have multiple loves interest. I’m biased my favorite is Him and Raven together because I feel they had more chemistry together then the others. Like cmon he even told Raven that the only reason he wanted her to join in leading the leagues of assassins was because he genuinely liked her and wanted her to be by his side ( and still does) Like he would die for his significant other in a heart beat!! Also he literally used the pit to bring back Dick because he was his brother and the thought of living without him hurt to much.

Thanks for coming to my TED talks

[spacehostilityy]

rewatching the OVAs (netflix s2)

low key one of my fave intros art wise (we all know howling by granrodeo is my fave intro song lol) like the suits !! are so !! cute!!!

and this frame is adorable !!

I love the search for hawk sm theyre all so fucking cute

Meliodas casually dropping “you are my purpose in life” to Elizabeth like a month after they met is INSANE. Bc from his side, makes sense. Fell in love when they were young from opposite sides of a war, risked everything to be together, have been finding and losing each other for 3000 years. But from her side, he is a cool guy she has a crush on (who is at least 15ish years older than her) who she might have known as a child. He also just described her as his entire life’s purpose. Like bro THATS CRAZYYY

Seeing Meliodas destroy the horn of cernunos is such a badass moment to me. The way he responds to her taunting with direct action and violence rather than his usual merciful beating around the bush. My favorite Mel moments are when he is using his silly goofy little guy façade and suddenly has to drop it. This is when we see a glimpse of who he was when leading the 10 commandments: arrogant, powerful, and constantly full of rage

it just so happens that arrogant, powerful, and constantly full of rage are my most prized qualities in any character

WAIT HOLY SHIT IS THE “HEINOUS SIN” MELIODAS IS CONSIDERING THAT THE GODDESS SAYS WILL DRIVE EVERYONE HE LOVES AWAY REFERRING TO HIS PLAN TO BECOME THE DEMON KING ?!?!?!?

THAT WOULD MAKE SO MUCH SENSE AND ADDS LOWKEY A TON CHARACTER MOTIVATION TO EVERYTHING ELSE MEL DOES FROM HERE ON OUT

maybe everyone knew this and im late to the game but damn that would be so cool

im pretty sure ban switches out his red leather for the long burgundy coat is bc he keeps getting stabbed front to back and the coat has a hole in the back so the weapon wont tear it lolll😭

i feel like their faces (esp meliodas’s) look a tiny bit janky in the OVAs

once again appreciating the intro 😌

They’re so fucking cute !!

Merlin and Ban clearly don’t rlly like each other much yet and it’s so funny to me

Like these are Meliodas’s closest friends and they just kinda annoy each other a lot

it’s like fuckin icarly

Gustav: the captain and one of his fellow sins going one on one? We might neve see something like this again!

hahahahaha nooo. i mean gustav didn’t, he’s dead. but the rest will el ol el

Gil is the biggest dork to ever live and howzer is concerned. Mans is crying at watching them fight and howzer is just like … ok ??

Bartra: where the fuck is my daughter

his daughter: literally watching a cage fight

MELIODAS RIPS OFF BAN’S FUCKING ARM AND SMACKS HIM WITH IT AHSDBFKSKFSDHFFK LOLLLL

theyre literally the cutest

bestiesss (boyfriends)

every one of these bitches is a fucking alcoholic

ban’s whole character is that he’s a depressed, violent alcoholic and I love him

my horrible secret is that im skipping through a lot of ova 3 bc im just not a kiane girlie😔

i do love diane tho she so babygirl

nakaba’s not even thinly veiled size kink strikes again. Seriously, i can fuck with it, but its so funny that every single main ship has a significant/abnormal height difference

hendy and dreyfus are so gay for each other im genuinely surprised it’s not canon

like look at this scene and tell me something lgbt is not happening here

omg my pfp !!

Howzer’s dad is such a dick i love it

Meliodas using the sugar spoon to full counter is literally so fucking cute, i love when they have to use dumb weapons

but also vivian lost to a tiny spoon hehe

bet gil regrets not killing vivian after she kidnaps and permanently fucks up his son ahaha🥲

Merlin being fucking terrifying saying that vivian should have realized that she is a monster is why im gay

Meanwhile Meliodas:

I love when his face does that he’s so baby

KASDBFKLHDFNWDKF GIL, HOWZER, AND GRIAMOR ALL BEGING HORNY ABT “MATURE WOMAN” MERLIN

anyway time to start season 2!!

[obey-me-disaster]

may i request NSFW alphabet Mephisto headcanons?

We really need more content about Mephisto in the main story, I NEED to see his demon form...for research purposes

Here is the NSFW prompt for anyone else thag would like to ask ^-^

Warning: NSFW

Mephistopheles x gn!MC

A=After care

This guy is pretty much as rich as Diavolo. He has big bathrooms where you two could take a bath together and he probably uses some really expensive bath bombs that also have some magical properties. Don't forget the expensive demonus.

For his after care, he prefers for the two of you to stay cuddled for a while and talk. That's when you'll see him be really open about himself and relax.

B=Body Part

His legs. They are really strong due to horse riding and it reminds him of all the hard work he puts into his hobby. They also look really nice but that's besides the point.

Also your legs, he loves to leave hickeys on your inner thighs whenever he eats you out/suck your dick.

C=Cum

His cum is thick and mostly salty. It sometimes tastes more sweet but for the most part salty.

He prefers to cum on your chest/abdomen cause in his mind it feels like he is claiming you. Seeing you covered in his cum inflates his ego as if it wasn't big enough

When it comes to you, he prefers when you come inside of him/in his mouth. He claims it's easier when it comes to clean up but in reality he just likes the feeling of you cuming inside of him.

D=Dirty Secret

This happened before he even started to like you as a friend, but he was annoying you and Satan about something and you quite literally stood up to him and put him in his place. That moment lived rent free in his head for 2 weeks and would get instantly horny just thinking about it. At the time he wasn't even into any kind of degradation so he was all the more confused. He kept of thinking of multiple ways you could put him in his place and it made him angry because he didn't even like you at that point.

E=Experience

He is a centuries(or maybe millennia) old demon that isn't really bound by duty or has some kind of trauma as far as we know and he is rich on top of it all. He got plenty of experience over the course of his life. Sure he doesn't exactly sleep around but he got his fair share of lovers over the years.

Watch him in canon be bitchless because he is loyal to Diavolo or some shit.

F=Favorite Position

This man is good at riding, I am just saying. He most likely loves any and all variations of cowgirl.

Also, if he is being a prick which he can really be he loves to be bent over one of the desks in the newspaper club. He will never admit it tho.

G=Goofy

He tries to be as romantic and as serious as he can. I am talking about setting the mood with an expensive dinner, candles, drinks etc. If you were to crack a joke during sex he would burry his head into your shoulder just to try and hide his smile.

H=Hair

Very well groomed, he takes great care of the way he looks. Won't admit it but he really values your opinion on him, so he always makes sure to look presentable for you.

I=Intimacy

He isn't someone to half ass things, especially when it comes to you. This of course, includes him being intimate with you.

If outside of the bedroom he is acting like a prick, when it's time to get intimate with you he becomes way softer, both in the way he talks and in his body language.

J=Jack off

Likes to think he is well above needing to jack off but he still does it every other day in the privacy of his own room

Once he gets into a relationship with you he prefers to wait until both of you can fuck, but he can't always have it his way so he still has to masturbate, maybe even more than he used to in the past

K=Kink

Praise him! He is a demon of pride so he lives to get praised. Just be careful not to inflate his ego too much. Of course, that means he likes to praise you too during sex

Some light degradation mixed with praise can go a long way for him. He loves the mix of the two. Tho degrading too much(both on him and you) is a turn off. With time he does start to like it more.

I can see overstimulation being on the list of kinks he has. Just continuing to fuck as you're still sensitive and force a second orgasm out of you. This also applies to him, don't be shy, he can happily take it

L=Location

If he wants to get really intimate with you and take his sweet time with sex, he prefers his place. He avoids the House of Lamentation like the plague unless he wants to rub in the demon brothers' face that you picked him and not the.

He heard stories from you about how the brother barge into your room without knocking and he doesn't want to get jumped by the lords for hell despite not doing anything wrong. One more reason to hate on Lucifer I guess

He may drag you into an empty classroom if he feels like he can't wait anymore to get you to his place.

M=Motivation

Absolutely hates to admit it, but seeing others flirt with you or get too close to his liking makes him want to take you away and turn all of your attention on him. He would rather die than admit how much of a turn on that is for him.

You putting him in his place when he is acting like a prick is also something he didn't expect to turn him on and he didn't know how to deal with that fact for a long time.

N=No

Humiliation if it isn't mixed with some praise. He likes it to a certain degree but too much just gets him out of the mood.

Edging. No other reason that he finds it frustrating and he can't find himself relaxing after that or getting into the mood to keep going.

O=Oral

He prefers receiving rather than giving. Not to say he doesn't like giving but he much prefers to be sitting down and have you suck his dick. He is pretty sensitive so he might pull on your hair without meaning too.

When it comes to giving he can get a little messy with spit dripping down his chin. Also be careful not to pull on his hair, he doesn't really like that.

P=Pace

He tries so hard to be slow and sensual but he always ends up losing himself due to how good you feel and is rougher than he would like to admit. If you call him out on it he will try to come up with some excuse and will not be able to look you in the eyes for an hour.

Unless you plan on teasing him and making him beg don't go slow on him. He has a love-hate relationship with that cause on one hand it feels so good but it's never enough to satisfy him.

Q=Quicky

When you first asked him about it he said he doesn't like them but not even a week later he pulled you into an empty classroom to have a quicky. He still prefers intimate sex over a quicky but after that incident he didn't try to act like he wouldn't want one once in a blue moon.

R=Risk

Unless you really want it or it sounds like he would like it he doesn't take risks. He says he knows himself enough to know if he would like something without needing to try it.

S=Stamina

He is pretty average by demon standards and above average by human standards which is a blessing for him cause he would hate if he couldn't keep up with you. If he bottoms he bottoms he has lower stamina and is always winded once both of you are done.

T=Toys

Doesn't have any at the moment you met him. He used to have in the past but with time he either got bored or just didn't like to use them anymore. If you want to buy toys he would have nothing against it.

U=Unfair

He gets so annoyed in the funniest way possible when you tease him. It's not that he hates it or something but he loses his patience pretty fast.

At the very least he isn't one to tease you either, so you can't call him a hypocrite because of it.

V=Volume

He can get rather loud(a reason why he prefers to do it at his place instead of HOL). He tries so hard to keep his composure but he fails terribly, especially if he is bottoming. If you want to keep him silent you'll have to literally gag him.

W=Wild card

Wants to have sex with you somewhere where the brothers could easily catch the two of you just to rub it in their faces. He is not even really into exhibitionism, just the thought of showing off to Lucifer that you choose him

X=X-ray

he got that horse cock, pun intended

A/N: I am so furious we don't know his demon cause I can't headcanon his demon dick in any way. I am saying for sure, it gets both longer and thicker.

In human form his dick is both thicker and more veiny towards the base. It's also 6.7 inches and curved slightly up.

Y=Yearning

When is not in relationships it's rather low but when he has a partnere it gets stupidly high. Especially after getting with you.

Z=Zzz

He does tend to be more tired after he is bottoming but doesn't immediately go to sleep since he still wants to stay up and talk with you. It's honestly kind of cute how clingy he can get in those moments

[toomuchracket]

"if anyone has any flatmate smut ideas" as if my brain isn't a constant rotation of flatmate smut 😂

How about makeup sex after their first fight. Maybe not even a huge fight just a misunderstanding but they both end up sleeping in their own rooms afterwards instead of sharing, but matty sneaks in at 5am and is like "I couldn't sleep without you"

GOD ok right so it's like a stupid argument over something trivial, you're both just a bit burnt out from working hard and more irritable than normal so something that shouldn't have been a big deal turned into a massive one. you're also both ridiculously stubborn, so neither of you are particularly willing to be the one to apologise, and you're so grumpy that you're like "i'm too fucking tired for this shit i'm going to bed"; you stomp off to your old room and slam the door behind you, getting into your unused bed and pulling the covers up to your chin. and as tired as you are, you can't fall asleep - through the wall, matty's the same, and it's because you're not cuddled into each other. for a good few hours, you both toss and turn, the anger ebbing from your respective bloodstreams and the loneliness flowing in; you're genuinely about to get out of bed and go into you and matty's room when you hear him through the wall saying "fuck it" and then his footsteps padding into the hallway.

he tentatively opens the door and kinda lingers in the doorway looking at you lying in bed, quite like he did right before you guys slept together for the first time - to be cute, and to reassure matty you're not angry anymore, you smile and say "get over here, healy, i want to spoon you". matty exhales and smiles back, then literally launches himself onto the bed, which makes you giggle, and climbs in behind you; he kisses your bare shoulder as he wraps an arm around your waist like "can't fall asleep without you next to me, sweetheart. m'sorry for being a dick earlier", and you're like "m'sorry too. couldn't sleep by myself either". thinking you'd turn to face him for a kiss, which would turn into a makeout, which would turn into matty lying above you with his hips grinding into yours - he's murmuring against your lips like "need to be even closer to you, darlin'. can i?", and you say "mhmm" and lift your hips so you can slide your underwear off. matty does the same, and just slowly slides his cock into you, moaning into your mouth as he bottoms out. immediately, you both feel better, and you stay like that for a minute - you being you, though, start to get turned on, and whisper in matty's ear like "need you, baby", and he's like "of course, sweetheart, let me make you feel good". he fucks you slowly, at first, hands intertwined with your own against the pillow for leverage, and it's lovely, but you want more; you shift your legs so they wrap around matty's waist and whine "want you to fuck me harder, please". matty groans into your ear like "fuck, yes, whatever you want", sits back on his knees, and obliges, speeding up his pace and slamming his hips into yours quite desperately - initially, he holds your hips for leverage, eyes fixated on the way your tits bounce with every thrust, but quickly places his hands on either side of your head so he can kiss you again. when he feels you clench like a vice around him, one of matty's hands moves to your clit, thumb rubbing over the nerves in a fervent attempt to make you cum; he begs you to do so right into your open mouth, capturing it in a kiss when you actually do. as soon as you cum, though, you push matty off you and onto his back, shimmying down the bed to take his cock in your mouth; he's whimpering like "oh, babe, m'gonna cum, you're gonna fucking make me cum". you look at your boyfriend, want evident in your eyes even in the moonlit room, and say "please" around his cock - that's enough to finish matty off, making him spill into your mouth. you keep him there until he's done, carefully sliding him out of your mouth with a pop before swallowing and smiling at him. matty pulls you up and into him for a hug like "you're fucking insane, my girl, but in the best possible way. thank you. i love you", and you're like "needed that. i love you too, so much"; after a quick loo break and more kissing, matty carries you back to your shared bed, where you fall asleep in each other's arms <3

[thwackk]

Can you just talk about your mundane and crazy domestic basic Clark Kent ideas… I’m captivated by him

yes, this man saves coupons and doesn’t own a car but takes the subway or walks to work everyday despite being fucking superman. This guy loves baseball sooooo much he thinks baseball is the best sport in the world and he’ll infodump abt it if you let him. He’s the best cook in the league and makes the most delicious meals ever seemingly without any effort at all, he loves making food for everyone and everyone is always shocked at how good it all tastes.

This guy grew up watching shitty old sitcoms so of course his sense of humor is very old and specific. Also because of where he grew up and who he grew up with, he had a pretty strong accent when he was little but living in metropolis made it go away almost, it’s still there but it’s way more subtle.

everyone agrees with this but i’m putting it in here anyways, kryptonians have fangs, clark has little fangs, it’s the way it is, it’s real.

his hair is naturally very curly and it shows no matter what he does to it, as clark kent he slicks it back and makes it look nice but the curl still very clearly shows. as SUPERMAN, he of course still has his iconic little curl in front, but the rest of it is NOT perfectly slicked back, that’s STUPID and i’m GETTING RID OF IT!!! He’s fucking superman, always flying around at high speeds fighting crime doing all this crazy shit getting beat up or beating some jacked up monster up, there is no way in HELL that his hair stays that perfect, it is ALWAYS crazy, curls everywhere, very windswept look. That’s how it is cause I say so, l’m that powerful.

this is practically canon but he just lets himself into the batcave whenever he needs something from bruce and bruce stopped caring years ago because deep down he loves this guy and is overjoyed to see him everytime but would never say that becayse he’s bruce and bruce is fucking stupid and emotionally constipated. The only reason he does this to Bruce only is because he thinks it’s funny, anything that bothers batman is a little bit funny to him. He has a tiny little streak of doing-things-just-for-the-sake-of haha-sillies deep within him and he mostly takes it out on bruce. Like when he found out Dick’s favorite superhero is actually him and not bruce, he found that significantly amusing and often teases bruce abt it but in the most subtle way. He is the KING of subtlety when it comes to this stuff.

speaking of Dick, he and dick have gotten together to prank bruce on more than one occasion. Dick is usually the one to instigate it but Clark never says no.

this is more of a personal complaint of mine but still a headcanon i guess, his SKIN TONE IS NOT THAT WHITE!! THIS MAN LITERALLY SOAKS UP SUN RAYS TO CHARGE HIMSELF!! he is in the sun CONSTANTLY, he grew up on a FARM, he has very tan skin!! all these comic artists color him sooooo white and pale and it’s so INCORRECT. anyways, that’s all i have to say abt that

kryptonian eyes glow in the dark and it makes for some scary ass situations for other people i mean. speedster eyes also glow in the dark, i was gonna draw something abt this one day. like one time bruce was on the watch tower late at night and most of the lights were off, he’s just finishing up some stuff and was unaware that clark had not left the tower yet and so he turns around and there’s just two glowing red eyes in this dark hallway, and bruce is a bit unsettled for a minute until it speaks LMAO

clark loves ducks, like a lot. He likes flying with them he likes watching them in the pond at the park, he likes giving them little crumbs from his lunch occasionally, he likes them, they’re his favorite animal. Also because the kents always had ducks on the farm when he was little and he liked to chase em around and catch one and then just hold it and pet it for a while. He named all the ducks everytime they got new or more ducks on the farm

This man still believes in Santa Claus, this is actually canon in the DCAU and I fully support it. Which also leads to my belief that he’s one of those people that just loves christmas SO much, he’s always so happy when christmas rolls around he decorates early, he starts listening to the music early, he has at least four different ugly sweaters, and buys all his gifts for everyone early. he also decorates the watchtower and the hall of justice, of course everyone else in the league helps out with that too

this man always gets coffee for Lois too, he knows just how she likes it and she’s always appreciative and he and Jimmy have a buddy handshake and alsooooo uhm he and lois have little competitions and play little games when they get super bored on slow days, like paper football, or throwing wads of crumpled paper into the trash like basketball or who can type faster, and Jimmy is always the score keeper. sometimes the rest of the office will get into it too if Perry’s not around, like the office olympics episode of “The Office”. It doesn’t happen often because usually there is alot of things to do but sometimes there are those days.

okay that’s all i can remember rn sorry i wrote so much omg

[50cal-fullauto-astarion]

König HCs

Because why not lads. These are some of my personal ones regarding the lore I’ve put together for him. TW: untreated mental illness, childhood neglect, burn injuries, surgical trauma. Uh, some other shit, too, probably. Idfk reader beweader you’re in for a sceader.

Bro has BPD. It covers a lot of the beloved fanon interpretation of him being clingy and hot/cold and scared of being left. He’s got Fear Of Abandonment Syndrome, and he’s like 10% more likely to make a fucky wucky on himself and end up sleeping in the forever box.

Source: I have it and my baby girl only gets the best of the worst from me.

H a t e s d o c t o r s. And hospitals, and surgical procedures, and anything of the like. He’s probably already got more health issues than a blue blood racehorse just from his sheer size alone - prone to heart issues and musculoskeletal strain - but there’s no way on god’s green earth that he hasn’t been through a handful of major procedures because he’s diagnosed with human knife block and bullet sponge disorders respectively.

Sub-point A: born with a cleft palette and lip. Palette was corrected, has a turned second incisor as a result. Lip was botched. Pulled a pot of boiling sugar off a stove and burnt a big-ass portion of his face, neck, chest, and stomach. Multiple painful reconstructive and corrective surgeries to deal with keloid scarring.

Sub-point B: psychology might help OTHER people, but HE is built DIFFERENT. He’s not crazy, you see, and if you suggest otherwise you’ll suddenly develop a case of Backpfeifengesicht and he’ll provide the violence. DBT? That’s Dick and Ball Torture, babey.

Despite this, he lies through his teeth at psych evals. He knows the “right” answers, and he is not going to get his livelihood taken away from him, even if it’s not exactly what he wanted. If he’s answering for his own actions, he can swerve and intuit what thing will calm things down the most and get him the smallest punishment.

Developed most of his wheedling skills as a kid, parents were neglectful as shit. Mostly disregarded him during his upbringing. Youngest of three, an eldest sister and a brother. Not in contact with any of them.

He’s 34. I don’t know if I’ve accepted him being a Colonel into my heart as my lord and savior, I’m still figuring that one out until there’s more concrete canon material besides a loading screen.

Grew up in a hoarder house of apathy, alcoholism, and depression and it was DISGUSTING. Black mold, water damage, trash everywhere, travel lanes carved through the most useless fucking junk. His parents bred Doberman dogs to sell as guard/security dogs, and some lived in the house, adding to the filth and destruction. He can’t stand a dirty house, and as an adult has an insane cleaning routine. Often stress cleans. You could eat off his bathroom floors.

He Does Not Like Dogs. Period. He especially hates Dobermans. He doesn’t like dog breeders worth a fuck either, good or bad.

Did not have any sort of media or anything as a kid. Parents didn’t spend money on tech or pop culture stuff, they were kind of stuck 30 years behind everyone else. His parents were older when he was born, he was very unplanned and not particularly warmly welcomed. Kept himself entertained out in the boonies, did a lot of reading, learned to juggle, learned to juggle knives. Had a big brokedown half-draft horse to take the kennel dogs on longer walks in the country, horsebacked a lot.

Soon as he was in the army, away from his family home, and living on his own, he got his first cell phone and computer and pretty much started living on the internet. He’s self taught in a couple of programming languages, very tech literate, halfway kind of lives on Reddit (narrowly swerved getting redpilled, thank fuck) on his personal time, and built his own PC set up. Built one for Horangi, too, and gives Stiletto advice on her own build when she asks for it.

H E H A T E S K L A U S

Bc I said so, everyone I love hates Klaus. All my homies fuckin hate Klaus.

König was raised secular Jewish, really doesn’t know all that much about it and didn’t get a bris or bar mitzvah, it’s just like Yeah That’s What I Put On Papers to him. Klaus is always getting in his shit about Austria and WW2. König’s grandparents made it out of the camps and went on to become: a microbiologist, a professor at the Austrian University of Veterinary Medicine, a multi term mayor of a small village/candy maker, and a beloved homemaker. The brilliance of the family seemed to leech out with each passing generation, and König sees himself as the dead end of it all.

König has rocked Klaus’s shit about the shitty jokes before and will do it again.

Favorite rugby club is South Africa, and he has an intense crush on Faf de Klerk even though he’s been traded to Japan. He’s kind of hot for all scrum halves tho lbr here.

Lunch break is over and this is ridiculous, will probably do more later.