#does it on purpose

[mysterycitrus]

conceptualising brucie wayne as like…. an ominous boomer texter. he uses a lot of ellipses. never elaborates on anything. describes events in the worst ways imaginable. he texts dick ‘the plane went down. we lost tim’ (bruce forgot to pick tim up from school after lacrosse practice) and dick tries to call and ask if bruce just told him his brother?? is dead?? and bruce just keeps replying with thumbs up emojis with no context and ‘tim passed’ (his final exams)

[muppetfreak]

Mr. Riordan, it is truly a pleasure getting to experience your second draft.

[artschoolglasses]

Americans not giving a shit about the wildfires burning down forests and homes in Canada until smoke starts spreading across the border. Meanwhile Indigenous communities across the country are far more likely to be impacted by the fires and I’ve seen all of one link to a charity and about nine million memes. 🙃

[akanemnon]

Meanwhile with the bicker brigade...

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

[mischievous-thunder]

Shut up, Wade! Give Logan some time to recover from your incessant flirting!

[lucabyte]

On autonomy, and what it means to be Obliged to Help.

Bonus:

[pockethep]

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Thanks for listening to my sad backstory. Anyway, here's Wonderwall.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[what-is-it-to-be-pk-esque]

Playing around with freecam and saw that Astarion does this lil sheepish/coy/nervous playing-with-his-hands thing a lot so I made a compliation:

Most of it seems to happen during Act 1 when he's doing his over the top flirting, but there are a few moments that sort of are similar from parts of act 2 & 3 Edited to add the tadpole clip I originally missed & a couple from the "whose blood would you drink" convo and the act 2 confession aaaand edited again after finding some more from the raphael scar dialogues Updated 9/17/24: found 1 min more of instances like if you become an illtihid

[mobius-m-mobius]

Mobius + being the only one to notice

[puppetmaster13u]

Prompt 331

Demon twins? Demon twins. 

Damian? Good at the assassin side of things, at least for a four year old, but Danyal? He’s okay, but he’s far better at things like poisons and bookkeeping. Which is honestly? Okay. They’re the League of Shadows, and sure a majority of the members are assassins, but it’s definitely not all there are. So? Danyal starts getting medical training. 

Not to say that either of the boys don’t know their fair share of violence and healing- it’s just better to let them play to their strengths. One doesn’t keep a league over centuries if they just have one type of warrior, or even just warriors. A variety is needed. 

So one gets trained more towards the business side of things. Damian may be better at wielding the weapons and killing- even if neither have had their first kill quite yet- but Danyal shows far more proficiency at acting, at masking who he is and gathering information. 

Damian, when he’s first sent to their Father, doesn’t mention his twin. Not because he’s jealous or hates him or anything like that. You just don’t talk about someone in an undercover mission in the League, and it’s not something he realizes isn’t a rule everywhere. 

Needless to say, the Bats have more than a mild freakout the first time Damian mentions a twin who will be coming to the manor now that his mission is over. 

[nelkcats]

Skeleton Invasion

Pariah's castle was boring, and since Danny had inherited it he hadn't really done anything with it, although he felt a little bad for the skeleton soldiers (even though he wasn't sure they actually had a personality, they always acted the same).

So he sent them on missions around the universes. They would probably cause a bit of chaos but they were the best option to investigate, since they couldn't die.

When one of them found many cracks to the Realms, he informed Danny immediately, and Danny sent more skeletons, just to be on the safe side.

Unbeknownst to him, the young King had caused panic in the DC universe. The Justice League wasn't sure what to make of the skeleton invasion (technically they weren't doing harm, they seemed to be wandering around and looking for something), it became a problem when they discovered what they were looking for.

Lazarus pits, the skeleton army was looking for Lazarus pits (Batman wondered if the skeleton's "master" wanted to use the pits), looking on in dismay, the League prepared for an impending invasion.

Though none of them expected a teenager emerging from a portal and congratulating the skeletons. What?

[abstractfrog]

little comic based on The Gloria Scott - part 2

[confessedlyfannish]

Writing Prompt #14

"You foolish, stupid child," Vlad hisses, pinning Danny to the wall. Danny's eyes turn green as he wraps both his fists around the one Vlad has clenched in his collar, his feet dangling in the air. Vlad leans in, his own eyes burning red.

"When, exactly, did you plan on telling me your biological father was Bruce Wayne?" he says furiously.

Danny's hands drop in surprise. "W-What?" he gasps.

Vlad drops him unceremoniously and he lands on the floor in a heap. Vlad claws at the air in frustration.

"Don't lie to me, boy." Vlad says, omitting his often used possessive "my" in front of "boy".

"How do you know that?" Danny asks warily, propping himself up. He watches Vlad push a shaking hand through his hair. The man looks down at him before dropping in an ungainly squat beside him.

"Of all the sperm donors, Bruce Wayne, Daniel? Really?" The man asks, despairingly.

"I didn't exactly choose him, Vlad."

"No, I suppose you didn't."

"Seriously," Danny says, watching the man rock back on his heels as a growing pit forms in his stomach. "How did you know about him?"

Vlad's mouth twists bitterly. "Because he now knows about you."

"What do you—"

"Vladdy! Danno! What are the two of you doing on the floor?" Jack flops down beside them, a tray of freshly prepared fudge in his hands. "We having a heart-to-heart boys? Let me in on this!"

"Jack," Vlad says. "If you truly want to have a heart-to-heart with your son, I suggest you tell him the real reason I've come over today."

Jack's face falls.

"Vlad," Maddie says from behind him. "Thank you for coming. We're grateful for all you've done, but I think we can handle it from here."

"Madeline," Vlad says, rushing to his feet. "I must insist—"

"And I must insist you see yourself out," Maddie smiles tightly. "You know where the door is, don't you?"

"Mads," Jack says gently, looking between the two.

"I can show him out," Danny says, getting up as well.

"That's alright, Danny," Maddie says. "Why don't you go get your sister? We need to have a talk...as a family."

Danny glances at Vlad.

"Now, Danny," Maddie says. Danny heads for the stairs, pit growing ever larger.

--

The next time they meet it is Danny who has Vlad pinned, the gaudy chandelier above him shaking with the force of his rage.

"You should've told me," Danny growls.

"I thought your parents had you informed," Vlad says, utterly unbothered by the teen cracking what is thankfully not a load-bearing wall of his mansion. "Honestly Daniel, we could throw around allegations of deception on both sides, particularly mine as I assume you've known for quite some time now, if not the entire time, about your father hmm?"

Danny's eyes flick away in an obvious tell.

"Yes, I thought as much. But rather than whinging about being blindsided, I suggest we focus our energy on the solution."

Danny drops Vlad, barely biting back a snarl when the man lands gracefully on both feet.

"Which is?" Danny asks.

"First of all, your well-meaning but frankly moronic parents seem to believe that they can make a case for your custody without the assistance of my legal team. It is in both of our best interests to dissuade them of this."

"They don't like feeling indebted, Mom in particular."

"Well, to be crude for a moment Daniel, tough shit. Yes," Vlad says in response to Danny's widening eyes, "I said it. Bruce Wayne has the best of the best on his payroll and your parent's rinky-dink attorney from the local practice won't stand a chance against Friedman & Sons. Especially once he establishes paternity."

"He can do that?" Danny asks. "I mean I'm almost eighteen, can't I just refuse?"

"The keyword here, Daniel, is almost. As in, you are not. The judge can take your wishes into consideration, but I suspect Wayne will make a case for an unsafe living environment alongside his paternity to win his petition for full custody."

"Un-unsafe living environment?" Danny sputters. Vlad eyes the boy dryly before gesturing to all of him, currently clad in silver and black hazmat. Danny drops the transformation with a wince.

"In fact, I suspect that's the main reason the man filed in the first place," Vlad continues. "Lord knows he doesn't need anymore heirs to fight over his fortune once he passes—"

"Jesus, Vlad,"

"—so I believe he did some digging and found your home to be, well, wanting. On paper, Daniel, your parents sound eccentric at best, dangerous at worst. Pull the right strings, and hospital records just fall into laps. He probably thinks he's rescuing you." Vlad sneers. "If only he knew how quick you are to spit in the face of one offering you a comfortable and wealthy home."

"Fuck off," Danny says. "Is that what this is about? If you can't have me, no one can?"

Vlad rolls his eyes. "Come now, Daniel. Are you really intending to keep up this pretense?"

"What are you talking about?"

"We agreed a long time ago that no matter the nature of our quarrel, we would leave the Justice League out of it," Vlad says, taking a menacing step forward. "You think I, running in the circles I do, would have no knowledge of Bruce Wayne's alter-ego?" He takes another step, voice rising. "I have avoided drawing The Batman's attention for years, no matter how often our paths crossed. I stayed under his radar for decades, and now, BECAUSE OF YOU, I AM ABOUT TO BE RUINED."

With a creak and a groan, the chandelier drops, landing between them with a crash. Danny coughs from the dust as Vlad takes a heaving, calming breath.

"Then why get involved at all?" Danny asks, staring at the ground.

Vlad sighs, clapping his hands twice. Several ghosts dressed in service uniforms fly out the woodwork, gathering up bits of chandelier as others begin to mop.

"Because, little badger," Vlad says, walking away from the mess. "If we lose this, he'll have you in the palm of his hands. Which is infinitely worse."

Entering the kitchen, he pulls an open bottle of white out of the kitchen fridge and pours himself a glass, throwing a Fiji water to Danny who takes it for the peace offering it is.

"He won't."

"Won't what, Daniel? Please speak in full sentences."

"Won't have me," Danny says, letting a thin coat of frost spread over the bottle. He tips the freezing cold water into his mouth and wipes his face with his sleeve, mostly to see Vlad grimace.

"Why, because you'll run away if he wins? Until you turn eighteen? I won't have you fail to complete your education because of a cockamamie scheme, Daniel—"

"Because I have a solution, Vlad, one that doesn't involve the courts or running away."

"And what is that, exactly, Daniel?"

--

"You're going to leave my family alone."

"Danny," Mr. Wayne says, blinking in surprise at the boy on his doorstep and miles away from Illinois.

"I mean it," Danny says firmly. "You're going to drop your petition and whatever smear campaign you were planning on and leave the Fentons alone."

"Danny...why don't you come inside?"

Danny takes a step back from the manor's large doors. "You want a relationship with me? Brute force isn't the answer."

Bruce takes in the teenager, lanky but almost to his eye level. His eyes are clear and sharp, his demeanor forcibly calm.

"I debated whether going through the court was the right thing to do," Bruce says slowly, matching calm with calm. "But I wanted to be above board."

"Because my adoption wasn't?" Danny says, arms crossed. "Yeah, I'm aware. Kinda hard to adopt a kid that doesn't legally exist. And I know what you're going to say, the Fentons should've reported me to the system, but they didn't do it because I begged them not to. Because I didn't want my biological parents to find me."

"Danny..."

"You can swing your dick around and get your way, exactly the way I thought you would do things," Danny says, "Or you can have a relationship with me on my terms. A relationship where I don't despise you because you took me away from the people who've loved me no matter their faults."

"You're asking me to choose your happiness over your safety." Bruce says carefully.

"That's bullshit," Danny says. "I had a lab accident when I was fourteen and went directly against my parents' instructions. They trusted me, and I made a mistake."

"It's not a matter of trust. You were a child, Danny, and you almost died." Bruce says, not bothering to feign ignorance. Footsteps echo behind him.

"Bruce?" A voice calls. "Is that..?"

"Your son did die," Danny says. "He took a flight with your credit card to Ethiopia and got blown up. I bet you trusted him too."

Bruce reels back as a hand lands on his shoulder, the other on the door.

"Whoa, whoa, uh, Danny, right? I'm Tim, I'm—"

"I know who you are," Danny says, clenching his fists. Powering through the hurt he is causing. "I didn't come here to point out what a total hypocrite you are. I just want you to back off. And if you give me your number, we can text and I'll come to Gotham for Thanksgiving or the ski chalet in Vermont or your villa in where-the-fuck-ever and you can be Uncle Bruce that I maybe even tolerate being around once in a while. Just leave my family alone."

"Bruce, what is he talking about?" Tim asks. "Back off of what?"

"Your Dad is suing my parents for full custody," Danny says when it becomes clear Bruce isn't answering.

"What?" Tim hisses, turning to Bruce. "That isn't what we talked about!"

"Danny. I..."

"Here," Danny says, thrusting an index card forward that he's scrawled his phone number and email onto. On the other side is the past participle conjugation for 'venir'. "I won't answer until you drop the custody petition. Which I expect you to do by tomorrow morning."

"Done," Tim says, stepping past Bruce and taking the card. "Give me about noon to get it all squared away with the lawyers. Do you have a hotel? A way home? I'd be happy to reimburse your flight and accommodation."

"Overstepping already."

"Fair enough," Tim says coolly, raising his hands. "Our lawyers will reach out when it's settled."

"Great. Bye." Danny says, turning to leave. He waits until he hears the manor door close behind him before pulling out his cell phone.

Ring!

Ring!

"Hello?"

"It's done."

"What's done? Again, little badger, full sentences, I beg of you."

[softer-rounder-larger-heavier]

How to train yourself to be a good piggy 🐖✨

Hi there lovelies, I thought I’d write up a short guide on the easiest and best way to turn yourself into a total hog in the shortest time possible ✨ why not give it a try?

Always pick the highest calorie option. Add extra butter, cream and sugar to everything you eat, not only will it make you fatter but it’ll taste better as well!

Replace your wardrobe with nice roomy sweatpants and soft shirts. Tight and rigid clothes might be exciting, but you should always have something you can lounge around in where your growth can happen unencumbered. Celebrate every pair of clothing you have to retire!

Keep yourself stuffed and overly full at all times, when you can. Not only will it help you grow faster, but it will also stretch your stomach capacity further and discourage you from doing too much activity that might upset your full tummy. Do this for too long and you may get addicted to the feeling!~

Move as little as possible. Too much exercise burns calories, and you’ll be so uncomfortable as you grow sweatier and sweatier from lugging all that lard around. Instead try to keep food within arm’s reach, and only go out when strictly necessary.

Get lots of sleep! Of course while you’re sleeping you’re not eating, but it also gives your body time to process all that junk you’ve been eating into luscious, soft, heavy fat. Don’t be scared to drift off after a good stuffing!

Drink lots of water to keep yourself hydrated, but for every sip you take drink an equal amount of soda, juice, or if you’re really dedicated, shakes. You’d be pleasantly surprised at how calorie-dense a simple 2 liter of soda is!

Rub your belly often, massaging and letting your hands feel every inch of softness. Associate the feeling with contentedness and joy, and think about how excited you are to be even bigger and softer and how you’ll do anything to make it happen.

Ignore anyone who tries to get you to stop. Only you know what’s best for you, and it’s your body. If you want to be majorly obese, that’s your own decision and not anyone else’s. You’re probably happier than these people anyway!

The most important one, keep from cumming until you’re totally, completely stuffed or have finished all the food you have. You should be training your body to respond to eating with getting horny, and the need to eat until you’re unable to as a prerequisite for release. It’s a powerful association, and will ensure you blow up rapidly in pursuit of that good feeling.

If you follow these instructions, I’m confident any of you can become a fat, sweaty, useless mess within a matter of years~ doesn’t that sound nice, piggy? After all it wouldn’t hurt to give it a try…. Right?

[respectissexy]

We talk a lot about someone like Brennan Lee Mulligan being so prolific that it seems like they never sleep, but Ify is the person who has me scratching my head as to how they manage with the same 24 hours in the day as the rest of us.

In addition to being a booked and busy performer and writer, and confirmed having sex 20+ times in an average month (just with his primary partner! I think they're poly!) ...if you know anything about fitness at all, you know that maintaining a physique like that is an additional whole ass job. How does he have time for the gym and eating 250 grams of protein a day in between gigs and fuckin'? Does he sleep?