I wanna turn a firehose on and douse my neighbors parties. Like I'm sorry I'm so so sorry but if I can't hear my own blasting headphones in my house and your music is shaking my floor and you live 3 blocks away from me across a fucking creek you deserve to have everything you're enjoying rn ruined i think
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for ages i thought i didnt like drag because of internalized homophobia but it turned out i just don't like bright lights and loud music and really visually complicated things
spd is homophobic i guess is what im saying
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whoever made the decision to cast jacob anderson as louis dpdl struck fucking gold and i mean that. not only is he a phenomenal actor but every time i look at his beautiful face i too realize that i would do utterly deranged, fucking unhinged shit to keep him in my life forever. at the end of the day lestat and armand and everyone else need not explain a damn thing.
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every time a new SA allegation of a favored celeb arises, i'm reminded of the absolutely soul-crushing experience of the depp/heard trial in which i learned that dozens of ppl i loved + respected + trusted were also willing to engage in the basest form of misogyny if the woman Seemed Crazy Enough. there was a horrifying 2ish weeks on this website + much longer irl where i genuinely felt unsafe voicing my discomfort as i relived something eerily reminiscent of the aftermath of my own assaults playing out on screen, commented on by true crime youtubers like it was a red sox game.
it happens time + time again with every new allegation + it's truly the most agonizing + exhausting part of being a survivor. i am begging you all to consider that survivors are watching you engage with this stuff like theater + it erodes our trust in all of you + compounds our grief.
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It’s entirely inappropriate that Hani’s fundraiser has been stalled ~20k away from its goal for months now. I don’t mean to be so aggressive, but it actually makes me so resentful when I start thinking of the fact that ao3 fundraisers w triple that goal reached it in days. I know that Hani has done everything from showing proof of authenticity, to going into his family’s strife in detail, to even providing pictures—something he absolutely does not have to do. Ignoring that and allowing the campaign to stagnate entirely is so cold. Please share and donate what you can. Clearly no one else has been.
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Idk how can this be a constant on my life but after the delirious 2020 Samishigariya emotional slap every christmas LipxLip releases something that very much destroys my life for about the next 6 months
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Tumblr would literally rather arbitrarily delete the accounts of trans women on this site with uncharacteristic amounts of speed than address even one genuine instance of harassment. They've already lost one harassment lawsuit and they immediately decided it was more worth their time to continue on the exact same path. They KNOW what they're doing. With staff like this, the only way to see genuine change on this site is going to be to make it more of a problem for them to not address this issue.
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
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