#everyone get comfy on the titanic while it sinks

[septembersums]

Kinktober Update

sooooo, my kinktober day 19 post got slapped with a community guideline violation and taken down almost immediately (booo tumblr), and you may/may not be able to see it now (if they reinstate it, who knows).

here's an ao3 link if ya'll still wanna read it: degradation (gojo x you)

i always crosspost on ao3 if ya'll want to read my fics/support me there!

i'll try to keep posting on tumblr as much as possible, but nearly every post gets flagged with a community label, and this one's been taken down entirely, so i might end up banned in the future lol

ily guys and appreciate you reading my fics <3 if my blog disappears one day, i'll post an update on @septembersummer to let everyone know what's up

thanks for reading mwah

[codenamed-queenie]

Nap Time

Hear me out.

When you work the graveyard shift busting baddies and crushing cases, you likely average about two, maybe three hours of sleep a night. At most. There’s only so much time in the day, right? And Timothy Jackson Drake is not the only member of his family who’s dangerously sleep-deprived. 

So, upon Alfred’s insistence (and many isolated incidents involving brick walls, hot coffee, shaving cream, and a lack of pants)--

A bargain was struck. Deals were made. Schedules were rearranged. Employers and Teachers were generously bribed. 

All for one minor, but critically crucial thing:

Family Nap Time

It was actually Duke who had the idea, to everyone’s surprise. He stepped into the manor one day and witnessed a state of chaos on a scale only achievable by a family of the World’s Greatest Detectives:

Dick had climbed on top of the fridge and curled into a fetal position, clutching a cup of coffee like his very life depended on it. 

His eyes were unfocused, staring into the eyes of demons nobody else could see.

Jason was screaming at the toaster in Portuguese and hitting it repeatedly with a whisk. Said toaster was on fire.

Steph was dutifully trying to put out the fire with the extinguisher Alfred always kept within reaching distance of the oven (for obvious reasons). 

The only problem? She was nowhere near the toaster.

Instead, she was spraying the potted Ficus on the opposite end of the kitchen, screaming ‘aaaaayyyyyyyyyy’ in complete monotone. 

Harper, who’d ‘spent the night’ to catch a quick hour and a half of sleep, was perched, bird-like, on the bar stool at the counter squeezing mustard into her Frosted Flakes. She stared, unblinking, at the bowl. 

Whether she thought it was milk, or whether she was perfectly aware of what was in her hand and just didn’t care what she was doing is unclear. 

Damian was hugging a struggling Alfred the cat like a teddy bear, and standing with his face in the corner of the room. Unmoving. Just...standing there. 

Tim was wearing swim trunks (they were actually Dick’s, and had little yellow rubber duckies on them) and sitting in the kitchen sink. Said sink was running. Tim’s head was tipped back. He stared at the ceiling while water continued to overflow onto the floor. 

Cass was nowhere to be seen. At least, at first. 

Bruce walked in, wearing nothing but a pair of his best underwear and Selina’s fluffiest bathrobe. He was holding a carton of orange juice. He nodded at Duke, and, as the most lucid of the bunch, said, 

“Morning, son. Breakfast?”

He stepped over to the fridge, and Cass was clinging koala-style to his back. 

Whether Bruce was aware of this fact was also unclear. 

Duke was fine. He operated during the daylight hours, and therefore had the best REM cycle in the family. But still...he had Concerns. 

So, collaborating with Alfred (a.k.a. the Only One Anyone Actually Listens To) they came up with Family Nap Time. 

The rules are simple:

At exactly 6am EST report to Wayne Manor

Family Nap Time shall take place at least three (3) times per week

Refer to the Family Group Messages for more info

Bring: 

Your fluffiest blanket

If you do not have a fluffiest blanket, one will be provided for you

One or more pillow(s)

Body Pillows are Highly Encouraged

(But if necessary, a younger sibling will serve the same purpose)

Fuzzy or Comfy Pajamas (and Socks)

Not required

(But you must be wearing CLOTHES, MASTER JASON)

A raffle shall be had each week to determine who gets to pick the white noise played in the background.

Those who would like to opt out of background noise will be supplied with foam earplugs. 

No, Master Timothy, the Bee Movie Script is not adequate white noise.

Master Jason, please take this seriously. Sirens, car horns, and explosions are not conducive to a positive sleep environment. I don’t care if that is what helps you sleep at night, why can’t you be more like Miss Cassandra and select wind chimes or ocean waves?

Everyone shall gather in the living room. 

You are free to sleep anywhere you would like

Couches, the rug, by the hearth, all are excellent choices. 

No, Master Timothy, you may not sleep in the chimney

Master Dick, the coffee table is an...interesting choice, but--

Miss Brown, please keep your hands to yourself

Especially within view of young Master Damian.

No cellular devices allowed

This means all of you

Yes, ALL of you

Even you Master Bruce, don’t give me that look

The Lights will be dimmed, and the curtains drawn.

This signals that it is time to Sleep

Glowsticks are banned, Miss Brown, I’m sorry. 

Everyone must sleep for at least 3 hours, but you are free to stay as long as you would like. 

Within reason

We made an exception one time, Master Timothy

But you cannot continue to spend the week on the sofa, no matter how little sleep you’ve gotten this past month.

There’s actual work that needs to be done

Failure to attend shall result in Mandatory Leave from all patrols and other related Vigilante Activity, to allow for the opportunity to sleep on your own time.

Either way, Sleep is a NECESSITY not a SUGGESTION

Needless to say, there’s some bumps in the road, and a few debates to be settled and rules to be tweaked. But all in all? Family Nap Time is a huge hit.

The rest of the heroes in the Super Community are well aware of this practice, as well. 

Tim was teased about it at a Titans’ briefing only once. (The other Titans are still attending group therapy.)

Roy negged Jason about it a few times, then stopped once he started to notice how the dark bags under his friend’s eyes started to slowly disappear. 

The Birds of Prey pick up the slack while Babs heads over to Wayne Manor to join the siesta festivities (Siestivities?) She always helps Alfred make chamomile tea for the others. 

And lastly, 

Barry Allen, the poor fool, burst into Wayne Manor one day and shouted something about an emergency in space that the League needed Bruce for, asap!

Twelve heads perked up out of a nest made of pillows, sheets and blankets set up in the living room, glaring daggers

It was at that moment, Barry knew

He. F****d. Up.

All he remembers is the unholy sound of shrieking, fingernails, fists, and being stuffed somewhere dark (the broom closet)

Anything past that? Gonzo.

Wally had to pick him up after Alfred gave the all-clear.

It’s become a sacred, but unspoken, rule for any hero outside of Gotham: 

Let the Bats Sleep...or else

[vesuvian-american-fics]

better with time. Ch 6

your name.

You finally have a name for yourself, after so long you are Y/N. (AO3)

Words: 1,815

That afternoon you were woken up with a flick to the forehead. Slowly opening your eyes and allowing them to adjust to the bright scenery you found Levi looming over you. Before you could speak or sit up, he flicked your forehead again harshly.  

“Oi, brat. Wake up and eat...” He said with a bored tone. You frowned before groaning as you sat up. Your chest was sore, breathing was painful but you did find that you felt absolutely famished. Your muscles ached as you reached for the plate on your bed side table and began to eat hastily. Levi’s lips formed into a slight frown at the sight before him.  

“No manners.” He muttered to himself as he flipped through his reports. While you were asleep it seemed, Levi set up shop with you in the infirmary, a small table with a neat stack of forms sat a few feet away from you. Quill pens lay next to an ink well on one end, and on the other sat Levi’s favorite tea set. Levi’s eyes watched as yours scanned over his table and he cocked his brow at you.  

“Mind your business and eat.” He spat, before crossing one leg over the other. You huffed at him before taking a large bite out of your loaf of bread dramatically. The two of you rolling your eyes at each other.  

The silence drew on and as you finished your meal you sat awkwardly on your bed, not knowing what to do with your hands. Erwin hadn’t yet arrived with your new book and your old ones were nowhere to be found. Levi noticed this but decided against going to grab them for you from your old cellar.  

Silently he rose from his seat and poured you a cup of warm tea to ease your aching throat. The two of you sipped your teas in the continued silence before Hange came barging in to check on you.  

They felt your forehead, still a little warm but your fever was definitely dropping. After your routine checkup Hange asked if you were up for a bath to which you desperately agreed.  

“Well, Levi while I watch her in the bath can you change the sheets?” Hange asked with a shit eating grin, though it did little to mask their anxiety for asking Levi to do something like that. Levi frowned as he eyed the sheets over, knowing they were drenched in your sweat put him off.  

“No.” He replied dryly turning his body away from your bed as if to remove himself further away from your sick germs. Hange pouted before hatching a new idea for a solution.  

“If I switch the sheets, you’ll have to take her to the bath–”  

“Fine.” He said with an exasperated sigh, setting his tea cup down gently before slipping out of the door not waiting to see if you follow him or not. You groan and pout in Hange’s direction but do your best to catch up with Levi. Your body was feeling so heavy and weak you looked forward to the bath but not with Levi in the room.  

The partition will help to give you privacy but the dead silence will be nerve wracking. Your inner complaints fell silent when you found yourself walking past many of the scouts you recall seeing in the canteen and outside of the infirmary.  

The scouts gawked and moved out of Levi’s path as he walked on ahead but you slowed down to take the time to memorize their faces. They looked younger than you, well, everyone’s younger than you considering your past but that’s beside the point.  

You gave the young scouts a sheepish smile and a little wave before catching up with Levi. You gave the young boy with those large emerald eyes a curt nod before continuing on. He looked like he wanted to ask a million questions, and you hoped one day to be able to answer them.  

Levi addressed a tall man as he walked towards the baths, his name was Mike. The two men nodded at one another as they passed by and you gave him a small nod of your own. However, instead of returning that gesture the tall man hastily slapped his hand over his nose and backed away from you.  

Mortified, you gasped and wrapped your arms over your body as if to conceal your scent. Was it that bad, really? As if it couldn’t get any worse Levi saw the entire thing and a smug look was painted over his features, probably laughing at your expense. You whined to yourself before continuing to the bath and slipping inside.  

Levi shook his head trying and failing to conceal the smirk on his face.  

“Mike has a strong sense of smell.” He commented as you slid the partition in front of the tub with a frown ever present on your features. You sucked your teeth at the new information.  

“ Great, so I just broke his nose with my ick, ” you thought to yourself. Levi stood across the room with arms folded as you peaked back behind the partition and began to undress. You slid down into the steaming water and released a delighted sigh, allowing your weary muscles relax in the warmth. Any humiliation from you encounter with Mike melting away.

Hearing the splashing water die down Levi excused himself to quickly retrieve fresh clothes for you. He brought back an olive button down blouse, khaki slacks, and a pair of slippers. Swiftly he walked up to the chair next to your bath and dropped the neatly folded clothes onto its seat. You eyed him warily, sinking an inch deeper into the bath but Levi was a gentleman of course, he made no attempt at sneaking a peak at your body and you appreciated that. It was hard to imagine him as the perverted type anyway.

<3

Levi leaned his back against the wall of the washroom near the door, sighing before reluctantly breaking the silence.  

“You remember your name yet brat?” He asked, tilting his head to the side as he waited impatiently for your attempted response. You hummed “no”, sounding a bit sad.  

“Troublesome...” He muttered under his breath but you caught what he said loud and clear. You huffed at his comment before reaching for the shampoo bottle and giving your scalp a scrub.  

You hummed delightedly, feeling refreshed and clean. Just as you were stepping out of the bath Levi ordered you to hurry, dress, and get back to the infirmary. Levi stepped into the hall where he was met with a scout pacing back and forth on the other side of the door impatiently waiting for someone to emerge.  

“What do you want brat?” Levi spat waiting for the young boy to explain himself.  

It was Eren Yeager, he had so many questions he’s been wanting to ask about you. Who you are and why you’re here? Just as he opened his mouth to ask as much you stepped into the hall, dressed in your new comfy clothes and drying your drenched hair on a fluffy towel.  

Eren’s eyes scanned between you and Captain Levi, mouth still agape before he finally spoke.  

“You’re a titan shifter?” He interrogated, staring a bit too hard at you. It was a little unnerving how eager he seemed for an answer, an answer you weren’t sure of yourself.  

Awkwardly you shrugged your shoulders looking between the two men.  

“Theres your answer brat, now get to cleaning in there.” Levi ordered shuffling between the two of you to leave towards the infirmary.  

“B-but–” Eren attempted to protest his new chores but he was quickly silenced with an irritated glance from the Captain. Eren deflated before stalking off into the wash room to tidy up to Levi’s high standards. You gave him an apologetic smile before following Levi back to your room.  

There you were met with Commander Erwin, he stood in the middle of the room flipping through a thick book, one you supposed was meant for you.  

“Oh, there you are!” He said with a bright smile handing over the book to you.  

“This is for you, pick whichever one you like most.” He nodded towards the text in your hands, while you looked at him questionably. That is, until you saw the context of the book. Names.  

It was a book filled entirely of names to pick from. Something in your chest twisted almost painfully, you hadn’t realized how heartbreaking it was to have forgotten your own name. However, finding a new identity for your new life felt a bit rewarding and poetic. Grinning with misty eyes you flipped through the pages enthusiastically.  

A knock sounded against the door but you ignored it as you continued to scan the pages with haste. Hange slipped inside and Levi caught them up on what was happening.  

“She's picking out a name...” He said with a bored tone, yet on the inside he was anticipating your choice. Hange gasped and clapped their hands together, excited to finally have a name to call you form here on out.  

You pointed out a name to Hange and watched as their expression soured.  

“I don’t know about Daisy for you...” they said hesitantly, a tentative smile on their face as they flipped to another page to divert your attention from Daisy. Levi’s own expression twisted at the sound of that one too, and Erwin chuckled giving a choice of his own.  

“Mildred?” This time you were the one frowning, shaking your head frantically before snorting a bit at that name. Levi shook his head before adding his suggestion.  

“How about the brat flips to a random page and the first name she finds we use that? Problem solved.” He added, feigning irritation and impatience. You gave him a small smile before taking him up on the offer.  

Closing your eyes, you flipped the pages at random before randomly stopping yourself and pointing at a spot on the page.  

Slowly you opened one eye to see where you landed, Hange leaned eagerly over your shoulder to get a glance themself.  

“Ooo~ I like this one!” Hange exclaimed giving you a playful nudge in the side. Erwin glanced at your finger on the page, his thick eyebrows raising a fraction in surprise.  

“Lucky pick! It’s lovely, do you like it?” He asked, his features softening at the dazed look on your face. You loved it, it felt perfect. You felt like this name was already yours. You nodded softly, unshed tears clouding your vision.  

Levi sauntered over and looked at the name on the page before giving a curt nod.  

“It’s not shitty.” He said plainly. You chuckled before smiling at the page once more.  

That’s when, in 107 years you uttered your first word. Voice soft and trembling.  

“Y/N.”  

[house-of-tykayl]

cystar tho (headcanons)

imagine

cyborg and starfire are the cuddliest couple ever. the PDA is incredible. star will perch on his shoulders like he’s a climbing post/bird perch and generally just drape herself all over him bc he’s got a lot of surface area and she wants comfy. and cy will just grab her out of midair for huggles before letting her float away again like a balloon headed straight for the atmosphere. star will float higher when she wants to look over his shoulder at something (bc hes the only titan taller than her) and sometimes cy will just reach up and touch her waist and lead her around in the air like that while they chat

the other titans support them, but are simultaneously disgusted by the excessive amount of PDA. cy sometimes milks star’s affection to troll everyone, especially at the breakfast table. “hey star i havent had my morning kiss today” “oh apologies” “do that long tongue thingy again babe” “if you two dont let me eat my waffles in peace for just ONE morning i will open a portal to the seventh circle of hell and chuck the both of you inside”

star is living for the unabashed affection bc cyborg has no qualms about being proud boyfriend in public. like he’ll wrap an arm around her and go “hey star’s my girlfriend :)” and the grocery store clerk’s like “we know, that’ll be $15.99″ and star’s just beaming, holding the plastic bags full of snacks and unorthodox food combinations

if cy’s generous with the lovin wait till you see star lmao. “you are looking most beautiful today!” she keeps saying shit literally no one else will say, either (possibly) coz of the robot thing or just coz starfire’s being starfire, and cyborg’s just like *clutches_chest.jpeg* because she a lil weirdo but she makes him feel normal and appreciated and that he’s great the way he is, that he’s desired even if a lot of him isn’t organic anymore. like yes!! my boyfriend is comprised of 80% robotic parts!! he is extremely strong and the “cool”!!! is he not absolutely wonderful???

ok but starfire can almost never get enough touching, and cyborg’s just like aight *picks her up and carries her around on his arm for an hour* and she’ll just be giddy the entire time

more under the cut

star doesnt have a lot of preconceived notions of what a normal human relationship is, outside of things she sees on TV and robin’s incomprehensible push-pulling over the years. so she doesn’t care one bit about the fact that she’s cuddling a robot. she’d figured starting a relationship with anyone on earth would be something different for her regardless– so a lot of the things cyborg used to think a partner would find problems with, end up not happening because man, this alien chick. “may i lay together with you in your bed?” “girl are you saying you wanna sleep while standing up?? on my charging port???? surrounded by 3478012 cables and wires?????” “is there no room? then may i sleep on the floor?” she just wants to be with him

heck more bed shenanigans would involve like, cyborg awkwardly trying to lie down on star’s bed, and it feels weird coz he hasn’t slept in a real bed for years and while it feels nice he’s kinda sinking into the mattress and he’s self-conscious about leaving a dent in the frame?? or like rolling over at night and squashing star which would be awkward coz he’s more than a little heavy?? then star hops in and cuddles close and is all like shhhhhhhhh slep time

silkie is usually very happy about cyborg’s presence in star’s room, if only because he can gnaw on cy’s legs while they sleep. cy begins to think it’s also revenge since there’s a lot less space on the bed with himself in it, and silkie struggles to find room near starfire to sleep at night. they eventually just get a bigger bed. silkie is a lot less stressed– but cyborg still wakes up with chew marks in his legs

if either of them are too tired from a battle that day, the other will carry them to bed. BB laughed his ass off the first time he saw starfire princess carrying cy to his room (star’s perfectly capable of carrying his weight but her arms aren’t necessarily long enough to hold onto him properly, making it a little cumbersome and awkward), but cy just tiredly gives B the finger

cy will talk to star in awkward broken tamaranian and she’ll get all giggly. everyone else assumes it’s cute flirting, but he’s actually whispering dirty, raunchy shit. that she taught him. and she continues to teach him tamaranian, occasionally dropping new words while otherwise speaking english, and waiting for him to ask about what they mean.

cy will sometimes smack star’s ass and then run for his life before she can return the favor, because he always ends up with an overly-enthusiastic handprint-shaped dent in his ass. it’s a terrifying game of tag. BB will chase them chasing each other with a camera to add to his album of “cyborg’s dented ass” photos that he shares with the whole titans network

cy teaches star about the niches in earth/american culture, the kinds of things that are a little harder to learn about on your own, or things she otherwise wouldn’t have had a reason to learn. he tells her about old american tv shows and explains obscure slang words and how to make telemarketers hang up first and what the contra code is and why he mashes it in every time he boots up a new video game. it’s a crash course mix of useless trivia and miscellaneous culture that makes star’s head spin– but she’s excited about learning all the same, the power of just knowing more makes her feel more comfortable on a planet where she is always a foreigner

it’s kinda why star adores all the different nicknames cy has for her like “fly girl” “baby doll” etc because it makes her feel “in” coz she gets all these cool nicks of names like other earth people!! she fits in!!!! and he’ll say it so fondly it makes her blush half the time. cy definitely notices and thinks its super cute at how excited she gets over pet names. she tries to nickname him back at one point but it felt awkward and she struggled to come up with them, and cy reassured her that he liked her saying out his name anyway, its cool. just be yourself babey

cy loves teaching star things in general, he’s patient and she’s always an eager student. he once took a few hours showing her how to play video games and while she didn’t really take to it, she did learn how to not break the controller whenever her virtual car’s about to crash into the divider (she still shrieks when it happens though)

initially, star is a bit nervous about touching some of cyborg’s robot parts like the implants and consoles coz she’s not sure how to deal with them? alien tech is one thing and earth tech is another, and then there’s the advanced shit that made up cyborg’s body and literally keeps him alive. she’s petrified at the thought of accidentally breaking something like what if she presses the button that turns off his lungs???????? and cy is like why the fuck would i have a button to turn off my lungs?? so one day cy just sits her down so she’s leaning back against his chest, and he looks over her shoulder as he shows her how to navigate his arm console. press this button and choose this option, no the screen wont break even if you press hard, dont use the browser to download malware on my arm like BB did, etc. the ui’s pretty intuitive and star gets it pretty quickly, then she gets all excited. cy teaches her about all the maintenance he does on his body and how his charger works and all that shit and she like oooooo

“if the t-car is your baby, does this mean i am its mother? cyborg does she like me enough? should i assist in changing her oil? *panicking* WILL SHE ACCEPT ME AS HER ADOPTED K’NORFKA?!”

(the t-car is a sassy one, easily jealous and protective– but ultimately, she does approve of starfire, if only just barely)

they spend a lot of time in the garage together. whether cy’s fussing with the t-car or putting together a new gadget, star’s a helpful assistant when it comes to welding or heavy lifting. and while she doesn’t necessarily get programming, she still helps cy with all the calculations and math involved in it; the concept of physics as she has encountered on earth is primitive compared to tamaran, and cy will often challenge her to crack a tough equation before his computer can. while the computer usually gets a result first, star will just explain that its answer was wrong in the large scheme of things, before she starts going in depth into that nerdy science shit to find a more effective way to wire whatever project they’re working on and cy’s just like  ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ heart eyes ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at how smart she is

they fucking love food. while all the titans are hanging out in the common room, star and cy spend an inordinate amount of time in the kitchen. star will literally eat anything, at any time, and cy would go like “yo star want a sub??” and shes like “YES I WOULD LOVE THE EDIBLE SUBMARINES” and they go make the tallest sub ever and then Eat it

they just cook together a lot, one of them being head chef for the hour and the other being the kitchen assistant. cy’s usually in the lead when they’re making food for the other titans (to prevent food poisoning), and star is happy to learn new recipes that aren’t lethal to her friends– that, and licking all the mixing bowls clean. cy purposely gets sauce etc on his face so that star will see and lick it off too. then star will very unsubtly smear food on her face so that cy will wipe it off with his finger and then things get handsy. (they’re both aware it’s a game, but they pretend like they don’t.)

cy gets them matching aprons and a tiny chef hat for star. she asks him why it’s so tiny or even necessary but he just thinks its cute af on her lol

it helps cy’s ego when star will also eat literally anything he puts in front of her while enjoying it unironically. of course, cy quickly learns that starfire’s favorite “earth” foods are things that most people wouldn’t consider food at all, so while he’ll prepare Real Food for himself, he had to start a new custom cookbook for the random combinations of ingredients that starfire likes to ingest. he’s torn between feeling like his chef skills go to waste on her, or being proud at how good he’s become at figuring out the kinds of food combos she likes based on the flavors and consistencies she’s inclined to. but ultimately she’s just so cute and happy when she smiles at the taste of m&ms on raw steak that cyborg’s just like ahh. fine.

cyborg: *sighs while writing* “edamame in a cherry-chocolate reduction: get a handful of fresh edamame, washing is optional, pour hershey’s chocolate sauce all over it, add cherries but don’t remove the pits or the stems, sprinkle in some drops of 7up, then cover that shit in mustard. stick it all in the microwave for 1 minute, doesn’t really matter what temperature? prep time: 3 and a half minutes. the fuck did i just write”

star: *wolfs down that edamame shit like its the best goddamn thing ever*

raven:

meanwhile, while cy can’t stomach star’s tamaranean food, he does go out of his way to learn how to prepare the stuff himself, for whenever star’s sick or feeling down. the nostalgic taste of home tends to help her feel better. the bowls of wustlepus might keep trying to strangle him, but hey, cy can handle it

cy used to think we was master of stuffing his face, but he quickly found out that you do not challenge an alien with 9 stomachs to an eating competition and expect to win. it’s still fun, of course, to pick a restaurant and watch her slowly but surely put away food with a grace that cy doesn’t (care to) have. robin and BB cheer will them on, raven is disgusted but plays referee anyway (even though it’s not like the result ever changes)

“are the table manners required for today’s duel of excessive food consumption?” star will ask cy innocently, but she’d be smiling a lil smugly because she knows she’s gonna win like always

(at some point, the restaurant manager will start eyeing them nervously from the doorway of the staff room, unsure about whether to ask the titans to leave before they run the kitchen dry, or to take advantage of the publicity.)

cy and star are a couple that isn’t inclined to subtle about anything. that means smooching all the time. mwah noises. flirting. glomps. yelling at shit together for fun– cy just expresses himself loudly, while shouting at each other is a form of affection on tamaran. they’ll sometimes wrestle, sometimes arm wrestling and sometimes all out full-body on the floor (actual wrestling tho, not a innuendo; star usually wins). they keep denting walls and furniture with their messing around and the other titans are like /(e_e)\ *passing out earplugs* and at some point robin is like guys… just… keep it in your rooms please

but being loud isn’t exclusive to daytime. nobody fucking knows how the hell an alien and a robot get it on, but based on all the god damn noise at night, they’ve apparently figured something out. maybe more than one something. it is a mystery

“hey, star… ever heard of a vibrator?”

most of their making out happens in the gym tho, let’s be real. they’ve been checking each other out for years in there. now they just get frisky after (or during, or before) a workout, culminating in yet another “workout”. they never lock the door, and after enough incidents the other titans just end up boycotting the gym entirely in lieu of the other training room

with the added privacy, star opts to work out in the gym without a top on. or a bra. then she heads for the treadmill

“you never wear clothing, cyborg, so why should i?”

cyborg keeps dropping his weights on himself and just ends up covered in dents, two mangled prosthetic legs, and having done no training at all

they’re such a peppy excited pair that sometimes things can get a bit too wild. there’s a pile in the back of cy’s room made up solely of dented/crushed/melted/ripped arm and leg prosthetics, all damaged because cy was busy pampering his superpowered alien gf a lil too much. starfire feels super bad but cy is like, he has to fix his limbs after a lot of battles anyway, it’s no big deal. he also hasn’t bothered to suggest a workaround yet because watching her lose control is hot (and maybe getting his hand melted is kinda kinky)

they sometimes troll the other titans– usually robin– by whispering in tamaranian behind them and snickering, pretending like they’re talking about them. robin used to be extra miffed by this, but after learning that cy’s tamaranian is actually still shit enough that he has yet to learn to string together a proper sentence longer than 3 words, robin knows they’re just fucking around with him. at one point robin turns around on the couch and throws some tamaranian right back at them and cyborg’s like :O what the fuck? what the fuck?? and star’s like yeah actually robin asked me to teach him tamaranian too. and robin’s like :) and cy is grumpy he can’t antagonize him with it anymore (and that it’s not exclusively his and star’s code language anymore, but really, you can’t own a language like that)

star likes to cart cy around while flying, but he’s just so bulky that he doesnt look all graceful and shit like robin; he just looks kinda goofy dangling in the air with her holding him under the arms. but even if he felt a little self-conscious, he forgets it quickly when she lets him skim the ocean with his feet or take him up over the clouds– he’d thought he lost everything with the accident that left him a robot, but getting to fly like this is something he never could’ve even dreamed of even when he was all human. like. this must be what it actually means to be living. everything happens for a reason

cy gets a UV lamp installed in his body just in case they get stuck somewhere and there’s no sunlight for star, he can’t replace the sun but it might help

he also turns his heaters up a bit when they’re cuddling coz he knows she likes warmth, as long as he’s not running the risk of overheating his system, but his metal parts can be cold to the touch and while she doesnt mind it at all he just wants her to be cozy….

cy’s like the only titan taller than star, so she usually floats to be eye level with him. he big and bulky and strong and he reminds her of galfore, and that’s part of why she always felt protected and safe around him. not to mention star’s been getting taller than most earth people her age; she sometimes feels like a tall poppy, sticking out of the crowd too much. so she lowkey enjoys being smol for once compared to cyborg, especially if she ever feels like hiding behind him, or being carried by him, the comfort of a sort of bodyguard that she doesn’t necessarily need but is there if she wants

i keep bringing this up but star sitting on cyborg’s shoulders/arms like. the result is this tall stack of a couple that towers over all the other titans– then like everyone will be chilling on the couch when they hear making out noises from above and they look up and its just star floating around cyborg’s head as they smooch and everyone’s like -_-

all the meme fun aside, they’re always able to confide in each other whenever they’re upset. they’ll sit together in silence and just lean on each other or hug and wait for someone to spill. if (when) it comes down to “will i ever fit in?”, because that kinda worry never completely goes away, they’ll be reassured that they know the few places they’ll always be accepted– and that’s in the titans, or in the unconventional relationship between a half robot and an alien nuclear bomb

star likes being around cy coz he’s so sturdy, in more ways than one– he’s strong enough to tank stuff so it’s safer to roughhouse with him. she loves being able to give the biggest of hugs without worrying too much about crushing a ribcage (earthlings and their Fragile Little Bones!)

cy loves how small star is compared to him bc shes fun to pick up or pluck from the air and cuddle ♥ and she’s so warm, just radiating heat both literally and metaphorically and she’s so full of life and heart, and cy’s once again reminded of what it really means to be human– by a goddamn alien, no less

they like to touch each other’s faces, just caressing n stuff like they do in “how long is forever” and the teen titans go comic #24, staring into each others eyes and shit and going all (uwu) they just love to touch each other okay even back when they were just friends!!!!!!!

HAVE I MENTIONED THE SMOOCHES. star will just kiss cy all over his face because its fun and she knows he likes it. then cy returns the favor, except with increasingly exaggerated kissing and nomming noises because it makes star laugh and blush like crazy. it’s horribly embarrassing for anyone else watching. star & cy are usually standing in the middle of the corridor by this point, and then robin was gonna head to his office, but once he sees the path is blocked– by this no less– just returns the way he came without a word

if anyone tries to make star feel uncomfortable for being alien or misunderstanding something, which does still happen sometimes, they’ll quickly find out they’ve got the goddamn terminator comin for their ass. or they’ll turn around and see 6 foot tall robot man with arms crossed and red eye glowing and he’ll be like (: hey there (:

star keeps leaving the garage with motor oil all over her face. none of the other titans knows how to address it, or if they even should, so they don’t

anyway theyre in love

[aceparson-blog]

Distract Me | Parched

CHARACTERS: March Anderson and Kent Parson LOCATION: Phone Conversation DATE: Early February (directly after this text message) NOTES: March calls Kent to cheer him up and they DTR :)

MARCH Exiting the messages app and opening the phone app, March hovered Kent's contact in her phone and pressed the blue phone. Pressing her phone to her ear, she eased into her head listening to the dial tone. "Hey," March said sweetly, "are you ready for petty college drama?"

KENT Kent let out a sigh of relief when his phone played March's ringtone--a cute underwater bubbly noise that made him smile every time. "Hey," he said, sinking back into his couch and pulling his comfy blanket up to his chest. "God, yes. Give me all the drama, please."

MARCH March giggles, pressing the phone closer to her ear. Looking over at her door, she makes sure it's closed m before she goes full Gossip Girl on Kent. "Okay, so. My teammate Janis has this super complicated thing with a guy on the lacrosse team." March starts off. "Which, first off. Was stupid from the start. It's the lacrosse team. It's like proven by Ransom and Holster that they're all douches." She rolls her eyes, before letting out a huff. "Anyways. A couple months back Janis found out her douche of a boyfriend was following with some girl on the soccer team. And his excuse was because we were on the road so it 'didn't count' like can you believe that?"

KENT Kent snorted. "What the fuck? What a serious douchecanoe, god. I don't know much about lacrosse dudes, but I've been around Ransom and Holster enough times to know that they're bad news." He hugged the couch pillow closer to his chest--it was a poor substitution for his cat, but it was better than nothing on a roadie. "So is she actually still dating this guy?"

MARCH "They're literally terrible, and super gross. I really don't know what she sees in him. I don't even know his name." Now sitting up, March pulled off her glasses and set them on the window sill next to her bed. "Oh no, it gets better! They got back together and were disgusting for like two weeks. Like normally their PDA is normal, but since they agreed to put the cheating behind them -- Which, fuck that. They've been off the charts." Putting her phone on speaker, March set it on her bed while she pulled her hair into a high pony tail. "Anyways. He like canceled on them going to the mall and shit and Janis went anyways cause she had to get whatever and she fucking saw him there with another girl. I swear to god I'm gonna punch him."

KENT "Oh my god are you fucking serious? What the hell? This guy is more than a douchecanoe, he's like a...a douche Titanic, Jesus Christ." Kent sat up on the hotel room's couch and leaned his cheek against his hand. "So? Did she finally dump his ass or are they going to try and /work things out/?"

MARCH March rolled her eyes and giggled, "Douche Titanic, that's hilarious I gotta tell Ransom and Holster that one." Getting off her bed, March walked over to her desk, searching for her headphones. After finding them she hopped back on her bed and plugged them into her phone and then her ears. "Not sure. I'm trying to stay out of it. The whole situation frustrates me. I told her back when the first incident happened that she could find someone better."

KENT "I mean, that's probably smart to stay out of it. Drama's only fun when you're on the outside." He picked at the edge of the throw pillow, distracted for a moment by the bold geometric pattern. "Hey, how are Ransom and Holster doing, anyway? Did they ever actually work their shit out? Because I'm not above meddling, babe."

MARCH "I will only be involved if I get to punch him. He maybe 6'4 but I have a mean right hook." March joked, even though she wasn't in the slightly. She really would punch that dude in the face. He really deserved it. "Oh! Yeah, they did. Actually? We're dating. All of us." March added a smile growing on her face. "It's pretty awesome."

KENT Kent dropped the pillow and grinned. "Shut up. All three of you? Dude, that is so great." He snuggled back into his blanket, his head resting on the arm of the couch. "You're so lucky, dating all these hot hockey boys. And holy shit, Holster is an excellent kisser. I really hope we end up on the same team because roadies suck without a buddy to make out with, you know?"

MARCH "It's been really nice. Holster is.. A lot of things. Really hot being one of them." March laughed and rolled her eyes again. "What can I say, I have a thing for hockey players I guess." March knew as much about hockey as a girlfriend of three hockey players should. But she has no clue how the NHL worked. If that was possible, she'd want that for Holster. Ultimately she wanted whatever made him happiest. "That would so fucking awesome, oh my god imagine?" Her mind still running off on a scenario. "I know, I hope whatever happens works out in his favor. He deserves it."

KENT Kent's smile softened. "He really does. He's gonna go to an awesome team, I just know it. Fingers crossed that he goes with the Bruins, though. It's pretty much for sure that I'm gonna be in Boston next season so." He closed his eyes and let out a happy sigh. "At least I'll be closer to everyone." He licked his lips. "I miss you."

MARCH March sighed and felt her chest tighten slightly. "I miss you too." She fell silent for a moment before speaking up again. "So Boston huh?" March smiled into her phone. "Hopefully I stay in the area for grad school so we're actually on the same side of the country."

KENT Kent turned on his side and pressed his forehead against the back of the couch, his chest full. "Yeah. The Bruins seem like a pretty good fit for me and. It will be nice to be close to home, you know? I didn't really want to go back to New York, but I wanted to be close to mom. And I've got a lot of friends in the Boston area, so that's nice, too." He licked his lips. "Any grad school prospects yet?"

MARCH "I have faith that you would be great anywhere, but Boston is closer." March felt herself smiling at the idea of seeing Kent more. Any time March thought of grad school for longer than three seconds anxiety hit her. And it hit her hard. "No." She said curtly. "I- Don't know if I want to go. It's, scary. I don't know. It's weird." Her voice was a tad shaky as she tried to calm herself down. She still has time to figure it out.

KENT "Ah. I'm sorry babe, I didn't realize it was a touchy subject." He but his lip. "It's gonna be okay. You have plenty of time to figure out what you want to do, honey." He fiddled with a loose thread on the couch cushion. "It's okay to wait a bit. These big things are scary, babe. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that. Ad...well, soon you'll be dating two different NHL players so it's not like you're gonna go hungry or anything, you know? We've got your back."

MARCH "It's just. Don't want to leave." The realization dawns on her and a lot of it makes sense. She put off college applications because she didn't want to leave her friends. It's the same thing. "I wouldn't have time for volley anymore. And I've never wanted to go pro or anything but I love playing it. I've played it since high school." March starts rambling, feeling the words spill out of her. "I'm just so used to be here. Being the student athlete. Now I'm gonna be the graduate student? I want to be a freshmen again." She laughs softly and bites down on her lip only to laugh again shortly after. "Yes, my two NHL boyfriends are gonna support me while I figure my way through life."

KENT "Change is the worst," Kent agreed. "Even the good kind of change like graduating. It's hard. But...you don't have to leave, do you? I mean, I guess it depends on the kind of program you want to do, but have you looked at the grad degrees that Samwell offers? There's probably something in your field that you'd be interested in." He paused. "Do you have an idea about what you want to do? Or do you just want something that's related to marine bio?" He laughed and nodded his head. "Hell yeah your two NHL boyfriends are gonna support you!" His eyes widened a bit. "Wait. Um. Am I...your boyfriend?"

MARCH "I haven't thought of that actually.." Her voiced trailed off, thinking about all mailed letters sitting at her parents house. "I'll look into it, I kinda wanna see if I got into any of the places I already applied too. Even though just saying that makes me want to vomit." Realizing what she said, March falls silent. Her teeth biting into her tongue as she feels her mouth go dry. "Oh. Um. You don't have to be.. If you don't want to.. Do you?"

KENT "Um." Kent couldn't actually see his own face, but his cheeks felt flushed and warm. "That would be good. Yeah. I think I'd like to be...your boyfriend." He smiled softly. "I like you a lot, you know. I'm really happy that I decided to come back out that way. It's gonna be nice to see everyone more often." He glanced at the window, showing the smoggy view of Phoenix. "It gets a little lonely out here."

MARCH "A little nervous over there?" March teases lightly feeling her own confidence coming back. "Is that so? Is my charming good looks or quick wit that got you all in a tizzy?" She asks again. A laughter takes over her body shaking her shoulders. "I like you too Kent."

KENT Kent snorted. "Oh, it's the quick wit thing, for sure. Your charming good looks are just a bonus." He ducked his head and grinned. "I'm glad you like me, babe. We definitely need to do something next time I'm near Samwell."

MARCH "You sure know how to make a girl blush Parson," March felt warm all over. From the apples of her cheeks to the pit of her stomach. It was a feeling she also felt around Ransom and Holster too. "I wish you could come to one of my games without being bombarded by fans." March pouted, though she knew Kent couldn't see her. "When Thing 1 & Thing 2 are able to come they're a riot."

KENT "Maybe I can come undercover. I'm sure the guys could sneak me in. We can bond over how fucking awesome our girlfriend is." He grabbed the bag of pretzels on the coffee table and popped one in his mouth. "Thanks for calling me, babe. It's nice, talking to you. And I like the sound of your voice."

MARCH Letting out a giggle, March shakes her head, her nose wiggling as she tries to fight off the blush blossoming on her cheeks. Even though she's alone and it can't be seen because of her dark complexion, she's still slightly embarrassed. "Hearing you say that makes me so happy, you don't even know." Pulling her blanket over her body, March snuggled into her bed and smiled into the once. "I just want you to be happy. It sucks you're so far away. I know about ten different ways to cheer you up."

KENT Kent let out a soft sigh. It was comforting to talk to her--she just got him. "Well talking to you makes me happy." He ate another pretzel with a grin. "Ten whole ways to cheer me up? Really? What would you do?"

MARCH "One of them would be to hug you for as long as you wanted. And sing Britney Spears songs until we couldn't breathe. I could also cook you dinner, I'm pretty awesome in the kitchen," March turned on her back and stared at the ceiling. "I could tell you, but I think it would be more fun to just show you the next time you're here."

KENT Kent blushed and stared down at his blanket. "All of those sound amazing. I am definitely holding you to that when I'm up there. I think we have a game there sooner or later. I'll have to check the schedule." He yawned and laid back on the couch, a couple pretzels spilling in the process. He would deal with them later. "I am fucking beat. Today was too long."

MARCH Thinking about seeing Kent again made the butterflies in her stomach goes crazy. "Hopefully we can make something work." After hearing Kent yawn, March let one out herself; rubbing one of her eyes. "You should get some rest babe. Might make you feel better."

KENT Kent sighed. "Yeah, I guess. Maybe I'll make Swoops snuggle with me or something. Make things a little less lonely." He frowned down at hands, which were clenched together. "I miss him. Is that fucked up?"

MARCH March felt her heart clench in her chest, hearing Kent's sad words. "Oh, honey. It's not at all." March said softly wishing she could do more than just call him. "It sucks. It really fucking sucks. And I know you care about him. But in the long run this will be better for you."

KENT Kent sniffed quietly and nodded. "Yeah. I know you're right. It's just...weird. I don't know." He sighed again and sat up. "I'm gonna go find Swoops and head to bed. Thanks for distracting me, babe. You're the best."

MARCH March frowned, closed her eyes and sighed. Hearing Kent sniffle made her angry, and there was barely anything she could do. "Stop being such a famous NHL hockey player so you can come here and I can cuddle you silly." She sounded angry, but not at him. "Okay.." Her voice trailed off as she bit down on her lower lip. "Get some sleep okay? Text me if you need anything." March felt herself smile, though she felt she needed the praise. "Anytime sweetheart."

KENT Kent laughed and said, "Yeah, I'll work on that." He nodded to himself. "I will. And I'll definitely text you in the morning." He rubbed his eyes and headed for the comfy-looking bed. "Good night, babe."

[ipadsadvise]

The Repeat Political Madness Of Never-Ending Crypto Wars

What is it with politicians as well as file encryption? There are now two bills in different UNITED STATE states, one in California and also one in New York, suggesting that mobile phones offered in the state must be able to be decrypted on demand by either their manufacturer or OS provider.

Ergo the complete disk encryption attribute supplied by Google on Android or Apple on iOS would-- if these bills are signed into law-- be outlawed in both particular states. As, most likely, would sales of apples iphone and (plenty of) Androids.

The prospect of political leaders forbiding the iPhone does not have 'fantastic vote-winning strategy' created all over it. But politicians on both sides of the Atlantic obviously stick to the concept that file encryption could be magicked from presence on their say so.

You need to wish lawmakers go to the very least collectively not so foolish regarding wind up passing legislations that try to forbid mathematics-- also if individual political leaders continue in the sensational belief that the basic public's protection can be boosted by weakening, er, the public's protection ...

Over in the U.K., draft regulations presently before parliament, aiming to broaden knowledge and also regulation enforcement companies' surveillance abilities, contains some weasel words on security-- with a provision that comms service providers need to have the ability to "get rid of electronic protection" as well as supply understandable customer information in response to a legal intercept warrant.

While the UK federal government asserts it's not requesting gadget manufacturers and also provider to develop backdoors or hand over encryption keys, it has likewise explicitly said the regulation will certainly call for comms suppliers to supply data in a legible form when offered with a warrant. So the implication coincides: with a little legal sleight of hand, end-to-end security is made to stand outside the law.

Frankly this is a really tiresome dispute, given that it's indefatigably cyclical. We are apparently doomed to rehash the very same disagreements every few years as a brand-new swathe of political leaders show up as well as set to, at the urging of overstretched protection and also regulation enforcement agencies, to discover brand-new methods to prevent solid encryption.

The fact things had gone a little quiet on the crypto wars front, in the pre-Snowden period, was evidently not absolute victory however instead a creeping office workaround-- as the NSA et al taken advantage of poorly safeguarded but favored consumer solutions to acquire the chests of public information they had sought.

But considering that the Snowden discoveries technology titans have actually tightened up their act-- therefore we arrive, again, at political leaders attempting to tighten the legal thumb-screws on encryption.

Not a lot a crypto battle then, however a constant arms race between innovation solutions and an effective commercial security complicated that obviously still has a significant pull on the political strings in nations like the U.S.

There is a very lengthy history of UNITED STATE government agencies looking for to bore file encryption. The NSA also made a chipset with a backdoor-- the Clipper Chip-- in the 1990s and also attempted to obtain UNITED STATE phone manufacturers to utilize it. (Yep, you could presume exactly how well that went ... ) So it appears the conflict between technology and also national politics is a struggle of Sisyphean period, where useless activities are constantly required, regardless of being all too apparently and also hopelessly resisted to the legislations of physics. And we're meant to call this progress?

The disagreement that national protection is boosted by piercing safe and secure security has actually been roundly and also constantly condemned by the security market. You do not enhance the public's safety by making everyone's details much more quickly available to cyberpunks and other criminals. Period.

Yet here we are again.

In this circumstances the costs in California is specifically making the disagreement that damaging file encryption is a needed action to fight human trafficking. In the UNITED KINGDOM the instances routinely brandished to justify mass state penetration of safe and secure tracts are terrorism and/or pedophilia.

The issue with such arguments is they have no boundaries. Where do you attract the line? Should every house have government-installed security cam in every space on the off chance that an individual living there might one day do something criminal? Certain you may capture some criminals yet it's an enormously out of proportion response to invade the personal privacy as well as damage the safety and security of everybody in the nation in order to accomplish that outcome. Policing can not be absolute. It needs to be balanced versus other considerations.

And if we intend to stay in a totally free society, where constitutionals rights and also personal privacy are enshrined as fundamental values which aid to define who we can be as individuals (and also as a cumulative), after that we have to have some enduring red lines.

Yet mass monitoring rides harsh shod over tough won democratic borders in the name of an ill-defined and apparently infinite 'battle on horror'. If the objective is outright defeat of terrorism after that political leaders are visiting should do a whole lot greater than restriction iPhones. Most likely some sort of widely implanted mindreading chip would be needed. Yeah, good luck with that.

Returning to reality, tries to disallow security are doomed to fail on the grounds that it's not feasible to regulate people's access to encrypted modern technology. In one really recent example, the so-called Islamic State has developed its very own encrypted conversation application. So exactly what was the point of political leaders attempting to implement backdoors in mainstream apps and solutions? Bad stars will constantly locates methods to course around the damage. every person else's information security obtains screwed.

In all likelihood terrorists locate this situation entirely to their liking-- given they are triggering massive damages to public safety and security with minimal action on their component. They've contracted out mass hacking to government brokers whipped into the chaotic vortex of power national politics as well as the peculiar potency of terrorism to flip political bars. At the same time truly major threats to human civilization (e.g. climate adjustment) obviously take years to even register as a political problem, let alone make it into the legislative radar. Such is the strange reasoning of politics.

So if the states of California and New york city end up determining to ban sales of contemporary smartphones-- as well as you really have to wish that's rather darn not likely, provided how crazy the reasoning of this is (I informed TC's editor I would eat my typical hat if the NY legislation happens, so I admit to having some teeth in the game ...)-- you'll definitely soon see a whole great deal of UNITED STATE people daytripping to the following state to acquire their following Nexus or iPhone. As well as the question will certainly stay: exactly what will political leaders have achieved?

The overarching problem shows up to be that security services have become addicted to catch-all surveillance as their method operandi for intelligence celebration. As opposed to concentrating their resources in a more wisely targeted means. (If you require access to a suspicious individual's encrypted data you can consistently install malware on their tool. Instead the security services prefer to demand tech platforms do the intelligence help them by supplying backdoor accessibility to everyone's information. So maybe they have actually failed to remember ways to do core authorities job to figure out that are suspects in the first area. Perhaps due to the fact that they are sinking in information ...)

This structural problem appears to be compounded by some cosy relationships between political leaders who are proposing encryption-perforating legislation and the safety and security firms seeking it. Ars Technica notes that Jim Cooper, the California Setting up participant that is recommending one of the aforementioned costs, is a 30-year veteran with the Sacramento Area Sheriff's Department.

While, in the New York state example, the costs has actually been suggested by Assembly member Matthew Titone-- that public records reveal has taken project benefactor funding payments from cops unions as well as associations in current times.

So long as politicians stay most comfy outside the digital globe, as well as so long as they require to increase cash to fund their very own re-election campaigns, we'll get highly illiterate legislations being suggested, either from out-and-out stupidness. Or (more likely) to placate various other passion groups that are a lot more arranged when it pertains to oiling the right set of political wheels-- and the next round of crypto altercations will rat-tat-tat up again.

Is there any sort of means to stop the madness of repeat record? The most good indicator in this most recent crypto battle is the durable public protection of privacy and also file encryption being mounted by Apple. Such a high profile company is in a location to increase public awareness and apply sizable political stress. And loud enough objections could work as a weight to relocate to quietly slide new loopholes right into encrypted solutions via vaguely-worded legislature -- or attempts to work off intellectually dishonest debates as inarguable logic. State by claiming the "security of the population" depends upon banning iPhones.

Even so, the cycle continues to be extremely tedious. We can however hope that eventually, in some moment of blinding future revelation, there will certainly be a political tipping factor right into a basic understanding that the "security of the citizenry" actually relies on the sacredness of the population's data.

Perhaps the expansion of an Web of Points-- wherein significant quantities of intimate personal information are routinely streamed to the cloud, straight from individuals's homes and also from their bodies-- will be the catalyst for a much required shift of mainstream perspective.

So let's hope we don't need to wait too long before the crypto wars are lastly, ultimately won.