#family can be frustrating

[scenicphoenix]

I may have had no straws left due to them piling up for a while and a slight headache today. A bit of a Long and personal post

My sister and I got into a heated conversation. A topic came up that i had no energy to try and stop from happening because she likes getting upset with my boundaries (i don't think she realizes she gets upset so often, or if she knows what boundaries are). So, if the conversation was going to lead to my boundaries being crossed (again), she would hear the consequences. The consequences were her hearing what I had been holding in for ages.

If she keeps refusing to take constructive criticism on her behavior and views and continues to get defensive and remain in denial, she is going to become a very lonely isolated person. Because her behavior is pushing me away at a rapid pace, and our mom won't live forever. Her ignorance is no different from malice if she refuses to reflect on it when told of it. I honestly regret telling her that I am Queer, I would have preferred moms outright denial and attempt to bury and ignore the truth. It's more bearable, my sisters half assed attempts to understand and backpedaling so hard she slams through a wall is so much worse. I honestly, at this point, don't think she knows what respect is because the closest thing you can get with her is fear or if she considers you an authority figure. I don't like making her fearful, and I am the youngest of the family, so obviously, I am never going to get any hint of respect from her. Part of the reason I have boundaries in the first place is so I don't scare her because I have a hard time controlling the volume of my voice when emotions are high. If I put so much work into respecting her and her boundaries, and she steps on me like a door mat, and she gets upset when I tell her to stop, why should I continue to see her in person.

And the thing is, she would probably say me getting upset after her crossing my boundaries is an attack on her. Or giving her constructive criticism. I will admit that I am not the best person. But at least I realize that and work on it. If I do something wrong to my sister I try and apologize in the most sincere way I can. Whenever she apologizes when I tell she did something wrong, it sounds sarcastic, and/or she sounds like she's forcing herself. That or self depreciation. Hearing someone calling themselves retard isn't the best when you are saying what they did to you or others wasn't cool. I didn't ask for self depreciation. What i want is a sincere apology (or no apology) and for them to work on their behavior. Calling herself irredeemable and useless and then never actually doing any self reflection and working on her behavior is exactly NOT what I want. I am telling her that because I think she can do better. But she has to think and want to do better first. Sure maybe I could word things better. But I don't have the time, patience, or mental spoons to do that. I am a mental health wreck, my brain hates me, I want to strangle God for creating me this way. I need email templates so i don't insult the government when I send emails about things. Because if I didn't have email templates I very much would insult the government because I am a very pissed off person internally. It's the reason I am alive still to this day. I was so pissed off at the world I decided I needed to prove every mother fucker wrong, and one of those mother fuckers is my own goddamned brain. I'm still alive dipshit, old man yelling at his own brain.

[andsewingishalfthebattle]

Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.

Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU

[notbecauseofvictories]

I think the most terrifying part of any relationship is the ongoing awareness that you are going to have to trust someone when they appear to like or love you. There is no objective way to check your status with someone, no app that will say "they like you overall but are mad at you right now, specifically for x or y or a vague z thing that you didn't even clock when it was happening. But! if you send them a nice card and small gift, they will forget about it and return to base level affection"

instead, you have to just....keep having a relationship with that person, doing big and small things with or for them, and praying that you will both be brave and evolved enough to raise x/y/z as an issue if it genuinely is problem.

Mortifying ordeal of being known, down to your very gluons, and disliked.

[bixels]

While I do think anon was rude, I do think it's pretty shitty to set up all this stuff you were going to add the au and then just drop it. It's disappointing. Definitely unfollowing.

Bye.

[fiendishartist2]

you appear familiar dear; you look just like my bathroom mirror!

[deoidesign]

A frustrating development with the growing lack of reading comprehension I've personally noticed is an emerging fervor of insisting things aren't canon unless they are explicitly stated beyond all reasonable doubt.

I can not emphasize enough how harmful a mindset this is to have. Yes, it's wonderful to have characters outright say "I'm trans," but to deny a character's identity for not saying that is dangerous.

Plenty of real people prefer not to use specific labels. Historically, people didn't have our modern terms or modes of expression. Many modern cultures don't use these terms, either, and plenty of people within those that do can't safely openly identify.

If the only representation you accept as canon is within modern (and let's be honest, wealthy white able-bodied American) standards, then you are denying yourself and others a huge amount of representation and seriously limiting the media around you.

[shalom-iamcominghome]

People findinging out that antisemitism does, in fact, victimize people

[lucreziagiovane]

"This, dear sister, is a gift for you like no other" "For me?"

[asgodintended]

the tradwife-ication of jason todd is so bad literally bruce didn't even need to pyschic lobotomy him and try to send him to metropolis. the fandom has already done that

[avoidmint]

Redemption didn't cure his bully tendencies.

Don't worry he didn't leave him to drown. There's witnesses.

[aimasup]

sure i COULD ramble about how ai is one of the multiple things that check all the marks of humanity's seven deadly sins but would that be extreme

^^^ possibly insufficiently educated

[scenicphoenix]

I think the way my sister has been treating me and my boundaries has made me a bit more hesitant to post lately

She doesn't mean to do most of what she does but she refuses to listen to me when i tell her and refuses to change. She gets upset when I mention the past like it's ancient history, but it happened so recently. She says she feels like she's being attacked when I merely speak my feelings and has become afraid of me because I have the self respect to get upset when she disrespects me and my boundaries constantly and repeatedly. She doesn't respect me so much that she didn't think about listening to my boundaries (i was practically begging her to stop crossing my boundaries during this moment) until I got our mom involved, I was forced to pull the mom card. In fact she was surprised that my anger wasn't irrational when told by mom and her counselor, I'm going to assume she sees most anger other than her own as irrational. I don't like making her fearful, I just want to be genuinely respected. But if she sees respect as fear and/or authority, maybe I don't really want her respect. Maybe I don't want to be around her at all. Maybe I prefer the isolation while I work on my social anxiety. Because isolation is better than being treated like shit. I would prefer being around my mom at this point, and that is saying something.

If anyone has ideas and/or tips for working on social anxiety, learning to socialize in general, especially for someone who lives in a rural area like me, let me know. I would appreciate it.

I practically need to teach myself how to person. Because my mom didn't seem to want to do that part of raising a kid. Socializing with their peers, exploring the world, navigation of society, driving? I had to ask her to teach me to drive in my late teens and early twenties, I live in rural Missouri. A place where it is pretty necessary to get a car and drive. The closest Walmart is an hour there and another hour back. I am honestly surprised that I am upset with my mom for not forcing me to do more shit as a kid, like Socializing with my peers and going to after school activities. It would have possibly helped with my depression who knows. Given me something to distract myself from the depression.

On a completely unrelated note I am looking out the window right now and I think it's going to rain soon. So i might be standing outside watching the rain fall, one of my favorite activities

[kacievvbbbb]

Watching Dressrosa and seeing Zoro watch Luffy's colosseum battle on the screen I was suddenly hit by the fact that in a Modern AU he'd probably be the most obnoxious kind of soccer fan.

You know the one that probably picks a new favorite team every match and is only a soccer fan when they are actively watching soccer. I can honestly just imagine him screaming at the screen and being all dramatic at the team talking about honor and shit. No actual practical knowledge of soccer though.

I just think he and Mihawk would just be the kind of people that like sport in a Modern AU they are athletes themselves but they also just like competition and adrenaline and so sports. Except Mihawk atleast attempts to possess a basic knowledge of the rules and plays of sports he watches while Zoro will watch a sport he's never heard of in his life, chooses a random dude that's "got guts" and root for them so wholeheartedly you'd think he's supported them all his life.

All this to say that goth family watches the World Cup as part of "family bonding time" and

-Mihawk is rooting for 3 separate countries, the 2 that his data says are statically most probably going to win and his home country cause he has some "patriotic pride". He watches intensely but never actually reacts to anything.

-Zoro is rooting for whichever team is playing against whatever team Mihawk is repping at the moment. He has no stakes in this longterm whatsoever exceot that he gets his fill of trolling Mihawk, sports adrenaline and on the rare occasion his team wins he gets to be a smug asshole to the man who raised him 😌. He screams at the T.V so much you'd think he had money on the line.

-Perona liked the idea of styling cute matching jerseys so much so that she forgot how much she hates watching sport. She is very bored and unhappy and hopes that somehow both of them lose. She judges the outfits (the jerseys) of different countries and their coaches on a scale that only she really understands but all must suffer through.

-Shanks is there because this is the only time Mihawk will hold his hand even though he is squeezing so hard his bones might be ground to dust. (the only indicator that Mihaw is affected at all by what is happening). He's bar hopper he's used to seeing random sports he doesn't understand played on green fields running in the background of his mild buzz to drunken fool binge. He's just glad to be included.

[literallyjusttoa]

Me when I’m finally working on all my big projects and then my computer breaks and the service worker says they’re not sure my hard drive will be accessible so I might’ve just lost all my files

[tea-cat-arts]

"Madam Yu would be a Karen/ treat minimum wage employees like shit-" literally the only servant she's shown abusing is Wei Wuxian (and that's because he's the victim of a proxy war between her and Jiang Fengmian around the idea of him being adopted into the family, not because of his class). Madam Yu's two handmaid's love and respect her, and Madam Yu actually defends them when Wang Lingjiao tries being a Karen to them. She also tells Wang Lingjiao to fuck off when she demands the Jiang servants bring her tea.

Also, Karens are unpleasant women, but not all unpleasant women are Karens. That term is about entitlement and being unreasonable (and often times, racist). Madam Yu is mean and unpleasant to talk to, but she keeps most of her interactions brief and probably doesn't have the time or mental energy to be a Karen or hold a grudge that long. If you want an actual example of a Karen in mdzs, Wang Lingjiao is right there

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

when I want to write something self indulgent to give me all the angsty and cuddly hurt/comfort feels but I can't because I end up feeling guilty because I'm seeking after feels that I feel in an inappropriate place because my mom told me one time when I was 15 that I shouldn't search that out or it's probably sexual sin but it confuses me because ALL the feels happen that way for me even if it's entirely platonic and nonsexual and so I don't know if it's okay to want to write to that because apparently all pleasure of any sort, even over platonic stories, is sexual or comes with a possibly probably sexual feeling and I also am having a hard time figuring out what's genuine conviction from God and what's just my anxiety/OCD/perfectionism/fear of failure