#focus on the words and not if my own behavior is weird

[anonprotagging]

maybe it shouldn’t be but I think it’s SO DANG FUNNY that I’m a trans man when I have THE highest soprano-1, valley-girl-constantly-question-mark-sounding voice of all time, AND an enormous excess of energy (nervous or otherwise) that makes me move my hands around like I’m trying to fight off a swarm of wasps

because like, aside from my hips, I look pretty androgynous, but then I try to communicate with someone and it ends up being like

[loveemagicpeace]

North node- your path🌊

The sign in which the North Node falls denotes the psychological shift that needs to occur within the personality. The house containing the North Node shows the experiences that allow the person to access this new psychological awareness. In my experience, the house is at least of equal importance to the sign. The house position indicates the arena in which the life lessons of the North Node are learned. For ex:, if your North Node is in Cancer in the 11th House, you are learning to get in touch with and communicate your feelings, through cultivating the energy of friendships and learning to "go with the flow".if your North Node is in Aries in the 4th House, through getting in touch with your gut instincts (4th House) you can discover and communicate who you are (Aries.) . If the sign of your North Node is in the same sign as the house containing your North Node it simply means double the intensity of the same life lesson. If your North Node is in a house opposing the sign of your North Node it will be necessary for you to carefully and continuously check with yourself to find the right blending of behavior.

North Node in 1st house/Aries North Node-in this life you are focused on yourself, how you see yourself, personality. To learn how to be with yourself and love yourself. Accept yourself as you are. Being independent from others and believing in yourself. Being kind to yourself and not looking at others. You have the ability to see the difficult sides of others, but also their loving sides. You don't like to be with people when your dark side shows and you prefer to withdraw because you feel guilty. But then you can see yourself in a different light, and that's actually a good thing. You have to find someone who will accept it and not push you aside. When you make decisions, you can feel that it is the right decision and you must not make a decision impulsively, because that way you can make the wrong decision. You have to be aware of yourself and who you are, and when you are more in touch with your energy, then you will feel the real you. You need a partner with whom you can grow and become a better version of yourself, and thereby also get to know yourself.

North Node in 2nd house/Taurus North Node-your focus is to find value in yourself and not through money. Many people with this position see their worth or power only when they have money and think that makes them worth more. You can learn to find value in the things that make you happy and bring you peace. To enjoy life without including money in it. To find pleasure in food, good drink, movies, good company and being in your own comfort. To find trust in others and in yourself. To take things slowly and be patient. To live knowing that they live for themselves and not for others. You can be too vulnerable to the opinion of other people. You define your self-worth based on them. You could easily get help, and you attracted things to you naturally. The north node in second house suggests that in the past, you used sexuality as a means to get what you want. With this placement, you often possess a lot of sexual power. You are very charismatic, and other people are drawn to you. There were periods in your life when you were on the verge of collapse, where you had to completely recreate yourself, and come back and rise like phoenix.

North Node in 3rd house/ Gemini North Node- your focus is on communication, relatives, interaction, intelligence and learning. It is important that you are not focused on your truth but on the people around you. To listen to other people and understand their sides. That it's okay to ask if you don't understand something and that the question will never sound weird or crazy. You can learn to be okay with silence and connect with people through it. Sometimes silence speaks louder than words. It is also important that you choose one path, because the problem with this north node is that many times you are torn between two things. One path may be quite different from the other, but you can choose the path that suits you best. These people are learning to accept duality. Planet earth runs on the principles of yin and yang, night and day, cold and hot, female and male- seeing opposites that make a whole. U will better understand people when u will see filp side of the coin.

North Node in 4th house/Cancer North Node-in this life you are focused on home, family, comfort, people you know and who give you a sense of recognition. You have to learn to be with others and be connected to your family (which can be difficult) but this is also your purpose - maybe a better connection with your mother and to understand her better and build a better relationship with her. To support others in things and to feel accepted. You can sacrifice a lot for others and to make others feel better around you. You want the person next to you to feel safe. You have to also learn that you don't need to achieve everything right away and that it takes time and that no one is more successful than you. When it comes to relationships, you can learn not to control things but to let them go if your partner doesn't feel good enough in the relationship. They have the need to do everything just to keep their partner because they think that if they fulfill their needs then they will have a nice relationship, but this is not entirely true. First, they can fulfill their own needs.

North Node in 5th house/Leo North Node-in this life your focus is on children, hobbies, fun, inner child, romance.Many problems with taking responsibility have to do with trust. Leo North Node people violate other people's trust without intending to or recognizing when they have done it. This is why other people sometimes react violently against them. If these folks can see the child in other people, they will recognize that everyone operates from a certain level of trust that others are going to keep their word. You can learn to find your own fun and hobby that makes you happy and fulfilling. Above all, you can find your inner child and connect with this part of your life. Spending more time with people who are younger than you or children. You can proudly show your childish side and talents. Share your knowledge with others and don't be afraid to step in front of others and show yourself to the world. You could have had a more difficult childhood that was unusual and because of that you now want to find your childhood joy that you couldn't find before. You have to recognize your power and follow your ego. You are wonderful with children and children are “good karma” for you. It is important in relationships that both things are involved giving and receiving.

North Node in 6th house/Virgo North Node-in this life you have to find balance with your body and your job. You have to work in a job in which you feel that it is healthy for you, because the job can also cause you to get sick. You can find a routine that will suit you and in which you will find yourself. The connection with your body is important here. You must not doubt your abilities and be self-critical. You have to learn to find your perfection, which is in some ways imperfect. You are here to heal others and help them on their journey. You are often more aware of the pain of others than they are themselves. You can heal many people. You can also become a mentor to others. When it comes to love, you can't idealize others too much and you can let other people close and not look for an ideal partner. You have a lot of empathy for others and you listen to others without judging them and you like to help solve their problems. Sometimes you can also put off a lot of things. Like, say, time to pay a phone bill or an obligation. You often avoid this. You can be very messy at the times.

North Node in 7th house/Libra North Node-in this life, your focus is a partnership that will make you and the people around you happy. You can see two sides well and know how to overestimate a problem and solve problems in relationships. Finding a partner who will really suit you is difficult for you, because you may want someone who will match the image you have in your head. You might need a lot of confirmation from others that you are good enough and you want a lot of love from others. But here it is important that you find love within yourself and not from others. That you learn to receive love from your partner and that this is enough for you. To let go of the fear of disappointment and loss. Some of these folks are afraid to love anyone because they aren't accustomed to exchanging love. In this life, their early attempts may fail because they haven't learned how to exchange love. They close themselves off emotionally in response. However, they are learning that some people will love them for their innate individual spirit, and some will not. People are differ-ent, after all. You attract partners that are karmic.

North Node in 8th house/Scorpio North Node-in this life you want stability, depth and trust. You feel a lot of other people's energy and can have a lot of past lives. These people have such good and simple hearts. They must also accept and trust the help of others. You are a very mystical person who can quickly identify the energy of others. You like to build something worthwhile. You also have a special gift when you build things (relationship, business, etc.) you can build things so that they will last consciously. You want power and you want your money. You like things to be yours only, this is true in all things in life. That's why you don't like to build a relationship with someone if that person is not completely yours. It is also necessary to remove things that do not serve you from your life because you can stay in the old circle. When you decide to change - you win and when you decide to do things the old way you lose. It is very important to connect with your spiritual side because that will fulfill you and to look for people who are similar to you in these aspects. Find people who are deeper and more spiritual. Surrender more to the universe and trust that magical things will happen. These people are destined to experience a total bonding with another person. And this is also what they are looking for the most. These people are also destined to meet many soulmates.

North Node in 9th house/Sagittarius North Node-in this life you are looking for your belief and your truth. The more you travel and discover new things, the more you will learn about yourself and your journey here. You can find people with whom you can be exactly as you are and they will accept you as such. You have a gift for understanding others. Many times you can find yourself between two decisions such as "knowing" and "feeling", but your intuition will always be right, so rely on it. You can follow your path and trust that you are where you are, exactly where you can be. You can let go of things that hinder you and rely on others. You can find some peace within yourself and trust that this is just a journey you're on and it's fun and you always learn something new. To live in the moment and forget everything that hinders you and all the thoughts you have. Being more spontaneous and making decisions impulsively.

North Node in 10th house/Capricorn North Node-in this life you have learn to be yourself and find your own light that doesn't involve your family. Family can often be the reason why you don't do what makes you happy or why you don't follow your path. Many times you can feel that they are controlling you and your life. You can have problems with rejection in all aspects and you can learn that in life we ​​don't always win, but even losing can bring a lot. When you get over that fear, good things will come. You learn to be responsible for yourself and find out how to become independent and independent from others. This will also bring you great growth. Adulthood and maturity are also part of it. You can be a very good boss and you can also have good leadership skills. You want to gain the respect of others. You can boldly pursue your goals and believe that they will succeed. Above all, you can let go of your emotional attachment to your parents and you must not let them control you. Connect more with your emotions and needs. You want someone who will make you feel seen. You need a partner who will give you a sense of protection, strength, determination and will support you. When you find your goal and follow it, then you will also attract the right partner.

North Node in 11th house/Aquarius North Node-in this life you have to find your interests, friends, group and what you want in yourself. To belong to oneself and not to society. You have to let go and do things without expecting anything from them. You like to take risks, but when you lose, it brings you great disappointment. You must learn to lose in any area of ​​life, even if it's just a game. You must learn to control your ego and see things from a different perspective. You have to also look at the needs of others, which can sometimes be insufficient. You are meant to shine and take the stage, but with the right intentions. You have to learn that not everyone will love you and that not everyone will see you and give you the feeling that something you do is approved by them. You have the extraordinary gift of being able to build deep and unique friendships. And you can attract many people who will change your life. You tend to attract very unique people and idiosyncrasies. Being a child or teenager will bring you great joy. You must trust the flow of life and trust that it will bring you the best.

North Node in 12th house/Pisces North Node-you have to find your inner self in this life. Connecting to yourself and not looking for perfection. You can live in an imperfect world and do things with your soul and not your head. That way you will best achieve what you want. You have a lot of past life connections and can be very intuitive. You can become more aware of your existence and be okay with it. You like to plan things and you like to be in order. You can be critical of others and yourself, which is one of the things you can give up. It's good to make mistakes and to let yourself make them. You must realize that we are all only human and that this is normal. You can have an obsession with being able to analyze everything and get an answer as to why something is the way it is. You must embrace change and allow yourself to become more like a fish and just go with the flow of life. When things go wrong, you can get nervous and want to control things so that they go in the right direction, but in reality, you have to just let go and let go. In relationships, you have to let go of your emotions and let yourself be vulnerable. Facing the unknown and being okay with it. It is good to meditate and do yoga, this way you will connect better with yourself.

🎸For personal readings u can sign up here: https://snipfeed.co/bekylibra 🎸

-Rebekah🦋🧚🏼‍♀️🌊

[lovecried]

˚˖𓍢ִ໋˚ ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES.

you've made your way up the rankings and retired pro-hero, dynamite aka bakugo katsuki, couldn't be more proud.

( fic demographics. ) boku no hero academia, bakugo katsuki, sexually mature | minors, ageless & blank blogs: do not interact & 7370 words.

╰┈➤ retired pro-hero!bakugo katsuki, sidekick turned pro-hero!reader (she/they), age gap (bakugo in his early to mid fifties/reader in their early thirties), alcoholic consumption, standing sixty-nine, playful banter, some bratty behavior, rough sex, unprotected sex (creampie), multiple orgasm, mating press, cum swallowing, slight slapping, dirty talk, etc.

( author's note. ) i realized that im a basic bitch and usually stick to the same kinks and positions in my smut and decided to change it up slightly. ended up having so much fun that im now currently in a bakugo rut and want him to do some very nasty shit to me.

Bakugo doesn’t quite remember when he started feeling so old. When did his hearing become so sensitive? Was it from the multiple times he had was an inch away from his own end— a ringing in his ear that was damn-near deafening? Or is it simply because he’s halfway to his sixties? When had his appetite become so bland? How come he can’t drink as much as he wants now that he’s retired from being a pro-hero? 

He thought the moment he finally received an actual break, things would get better, but he’s wishing to go back. Is there a type of quirk that’ll de-age him? It doesn’t have to last forever, just long enough where he can bask and reminisce in the feeling of being young and in his prime. Now he’s in his mid-fifties and he can’t move as freely as he wants to anymore. He was once a high-ranking hero working his ass off to be at the top and giving himself little time to enjoy it. Not that he could, danger was always a millisecond away. He got everything he ever wanted. He should be proud of it, and he is. He truly is, but God damn, sometimes does he have regrets. 

He’s still nursing this glass of whiskey that the bartender served him for ten minutes, sitting at the bar of a pristine place only open to pro-heros and sidekicks, active or retired. It’s a Thursday evening, a quiet night unlike its usual business. Bakugo’s always here on a Thursday, so much so that the moment he walks in, the bartender Akiri already has his drink waiting for him. Always cold and fresh, like it was served right in front of him. She has a weird quirk— everlasting ice— but it proves to be great in her line of business. 

The television is on and despite the music playing, he can hear the current news report. 

“This just in on Pro-Hero ranking, Spiderweb continues to climb the charts, their venomous webs seemingly seeping a new poison that makes every fall in love with her. Rumor has it that she’ll be the number one hero within the next month—”

Bakugo doesn’t hear your arrival, not hearing the jingle of the overhead bells the moment you walk in. He doesn’t even hear the moment you slide out the chair, its legs scraping against the tiled ground. You frown as his focus remains on the television, watching you when the real deal is right there. He really is getting rusty.

“You're losing your touch, Dynamite,” you slide on the stool, grabbing his drink right out of his hand the moment he falls out of his trance. “A villain could've walked right in and you would've been—” you snap your fingers. “—done for.”

He ignores your comment because he knows you're right. Can't argue that he still had the skills. He had some, but some wouldn't be enough. Instead he takes you, drinking you with his eyes. You're still in your hero suit that closely resembles everyday clothing to the regular eye, but Bakugo knows how you designed your hero fit, he helps you improve it after all. 

An ashy purple top that sucked you in, holding you in place. It had a dark gem-like pattern on it that people could mistake for rhinestones, but you were intricate with the design, using the same fluid you use to take down villains to help create the spider web pattern that runs down the top. Around your wrists, are smaller and more stylistic versions of his gauntlets, resembling bangles to help you store sweat. Similar to his quirk, you form the webs through your build up of yours with further additions. He remembered you explaining just exactly how your quirk works, but started to check out once it became too biological. 

Your black pants were baggy, helping with your own comfort as you had a fanny pack around your waist, holding them up. The boots you wore were another storage for your sweat, your clothes being a tool to absorb your bodily fluids, where you were able to experiment with yourself and further prove your usefulness. It definitely contrasted with your old sidekick uniform— a skimpy piece that you paid someone to have designed for you and you didn't have the heart to tell that you didn't like it. Considering that you're climbing the rankings now, he figures you've finally grown that backbone you used to lack when he first got you. 

“Well, if it isn't Spiderweb,” he turns in his seat to face you. It's apparent that he still works out, arms still bulging out, though he's gaining some chub in some places. But that scar on his face and his facial expression doesn't have you fooled, he's still rough around the edges. “I still prefer Deadly Spider, by the way.”

You roll your eyes with the tilt of your head as you scoff out sarcastically, “Of course, you do, Explosion Murder God— whatever it is.”

“Haha,” he feigns laughter, subconsciously scooting closer to you. “What're you doing here? Shouldn't you still be on patrol?”

“I'm not rumored to become number one for nothing,” you wink. I finished up early. Bakugo snorts. Finishing up early doesn't exist, and you know that. Hearing his snort, you stop the joking and become a little more serious. You technically weren't lying when you said you finished up early. “I was on a case for a while. I should still be out there, but I managed to crack shit down and I decided I needed to reward myself after a long day.”

He nods, bringing his glass to his lips finally. “You've gotten good,” he gestures to the screen.

“I had a good mentor,” you smile. He chuckles at that, “Damn right, ya did.”

You can't help but giggle as you slump in the chair. You can see him looking at you from the corner of his eyes, those vermillion eyes that used to always be set in a scowl now seem to be brighter. He lets out a breath as he downs the whiskey in one go. “‘m proud of ya, (Y/N). You're not disappointing me after all.”

“Have I ever?” You expect the answer to be yes. That there must've been times where you've disappointed him, especially in your early days of being a sidekick. A few UA graduates that had your tail between your legs and didn't know how you survived the lot of it. You made stupid mistakes and were chastised for it. Surely those were the moments where he was obviously disappointed in you, right? 

There's a long pause before he's shaking his head, beckoning the bartender over and asking for two more glasses. The bartender is quick, placing one in front of you and Bakugo. You're not a drinker, but you take a few sips from it. “Nah. Always knew I passed the torch to the right person.”

You snort, calling his blasphemy. “You're lying to me to make me feel good. What about that time I dropped that serum?”

“It was your first big case with me as a fresh graduate,” he remembered that day vividly. It was a month in of you being his sidekick. You were used to being by his side during patrols and smaller cases. He didn't expect to have you thrown in something like that so soon. He wanted to leave you behind, but others thought otherwise and in a rare moment, he didn't follow his intuition. “You were bound to fuck up after being thrown in with the wolves.”

Your eyes widen at his nonchalance, but they become serious in an effort to prove him wrong. Why would you want to? Bakugo can't understand as you start relaying moments where you messed up, whether it was a small accident or a huge fuckup. Stubborn as an ass, Bakugo still upholds his position. “Quit it, won'tcha? If I thought y’er a disappointment, you'd’ve been fired a long time ago.”

“Well,” you start to tear up. “That's refreshing to hear after all.”

“Now, don't make me change my mind!” He knows you all too well, seeing how the corner of your eyes start to water. “Here I thought ya finally grew a backbone, but y’still cry like a baby.”

“What?” You exclaim, not denying his claims. “I've never cried in front of you. How'd you even know?”

“Y’always were on the verge of tears, honey,” he smirks. “It wasn't hard to miss.”

The way honey fell from his lips with ease. His raspy voice sent something straight through you that it was hard to keep your composure. You're starting to remember your younger years where you'd ogle him, all while trying to not cry from him yelling at you. Despite how rough he seemed back then, you had developed a crush that you thought you grew out of. But, here you are, falling back into old ways. 

If Bakugo notices a shift, he doesn't mention it. Instead, swiveling back around to stare at God knows what. You clear your throat, taking a huge gulp of the whiskey. Your throat burns as you quickly question why Bakugo seems to like it so much. “I'm getting better though. At hiding my tears, and I do have a backbone, by the way. Just took me a while to find it, but it's all intact.”

“Good to know,” Bakugo says, dismissively, the atmosphere changing. You try to say something else, but you can't find anything to talk about anymore, despite your mind running with lots of stuff. You remembered a month into Bakugo's retirement that he started coming to Sakura's Blossom— the bar you're in now. A popular place for heroes to relax, somewhere Bakugo used to always avoid as a hero, becoming a favorite for him. When he pushed you to become a hero, your early days were close in its vicinity. You'd always see him walk in, but he's never seen you. It became a regular for him to come in on Thursdays, making it easy for you to find him.

You've always wanted to run after him, tell him how much you're grateful for his endorsement and that you'll make him proud. Because in the midst of it all, you had forgotten to and it was slowly eating at you. You had been raised to always give gratitude and you couldn't even thank the man that put you where you are today. But now, your throat is dry and you still can't. 

You can. You. Can. You can—

Bakugo pushes out against the chair, standing up as he pays for the bill— for both yours and his drinks. He nods towards the bartender before looking down at a speechless you. “Good night, Spiderweb.”

You should've said it then, but you don't. “Good night, Dynamite.”

—

You managed to change your schedule, so that you have Thursday nights free, managing to find another hero willing to switch with you. You start making regular appearances when Bakugo's there, and when he asks, you always lie. Though, you know that he knows you're lying. However, he never says your word. Simply just enjoying your company. 

You missed him, missed having him around. And he realizes that he's missed you. When he first became a pro-hero and as he grew comfortable in this dangerous career, he flew solo. Did everything on his own and didn't want a shadow that wasn't his own following him around. However, as he grew in age and realized that a second hand wouldn't hurt, he hired you to help make things easier for him. 

At first, you were a mere pain in the ass. Like you had said, you had messed up countless times and God, was he close to firing you at plenty of points in time. But, something was hindering him from doing so. He just couldn't do it. So, he kept you and trained you to be who you needed to be— helped shape yourself into someone he was proud of, as well as yourself. Sometimes when you'd seek his advice, your voice would get soft and he’d be reminded of that young woman you once were, but you've grown so much. You still might not believe him, but damn is he proud of you.

“Breaking News! Spiderweb has found themself in a web of her own. An elaborate plan on her part turned against her as a villain gives her a taste of her own medicine. Luckily, other pro-heros within her vicinity were able to help rescue them, but she was gravely injured and was brought to the hospital. Reporters have yet to hear about their condition—

Bakugo doesn't think twice before he's springing from his seat, dropping some cash and heading in your direction. He should've known from the moment that you were ten minutes late than when you usually drop in to chat that something was up. “Fuck,” he curses, climbing into his vehicle and speeding in your direction. If he's got it right, he knows exactly where you've been taken. 

You've been in and out of consciousness the moment an IV has been shoved in your veins from the joint of your arms and biceps. You were in an immense amount of pain, nearly every part of your body aching. When you squint your eyes open, you're greeted with white and you know you're in the hospital. It should be a relief, you're alive, but you feel the tears building up. You've failed. And you have before, but this time it's different. 

In the midst of finding your groove and truly feeling like yourself, you've been forced flat on your back and lost the upper hand, having to depend on others to rescue you instead of doing the rescuing. You were careless, wreckless, a disappoint—

“Where is she?” You recognize that voice. That gruff and raspy voice. It doesn't help soothe the pain, only making it worse as you begin to sob. The machine you're hooked up to starts beeping erratically. 

“Sir, we need you to calm down. She's just starting to become stable. She's in good hands—”

“Then why won't you let me see her?” Bakugo slams his fist into the desk. “She's not in surgery, is she?”

“No, but…” It goes silent from there, hearing a slew of voices and footsteps rushing towards you before Bakugo follows. “That's her! Let me see—”

“Sir, if you do not calm down, we won't have a choice in having you removed!”

You don't remember much from that point on, knowing that Bakugo didn't go down without a fight and probably finding some sort of loophole into seeing you again. When you open your eyes once more, you're more stable and not in and out of sleep. You're still in pain, but feeling slightly better. 

“Yer up,” a deep voice booms, filled with exhaustion as a huge yawn leaves Bakugo's mouth. “‘Bout damn time.”

You should be happy that he stayed to make sure you're in a stable condition and that he cares for you, but you aren't. Only reminded of your mistake. “You—you should go.”

You end up croaking and stammering on your words, but he makes out what you say and scoffs. “What the hell are ya talkin’ ‘bout? Didn't come rushin’ here and fight off a guard just to be told to leave.” 

“Dynamite—”

“Bakugo—”

“Dynamite,” you pause, expecting him to rebuttal, but he doesn't. “Please, I don't have the strength. And, I don't want you seeing me like this.”

“Seeing you like how?”

“Vulnerable.”

He snorts, crossing his arms as he stands over you by the bed. His big arms bulge as he doesn't take you seriously for a second. “Don't give me that shit. I'm stayin’.”

You don't even know why you tried arguing with a stubborn ass like him. You should've known it was pointless. He always seems to get his way, so instead. You do what you do best. Cry. 

And it's worse than he can ever imagine. You're in full-blown tears, sobbing heavily that your eyes will be bloodshot red by the end of it. He doesn't know what to do or what to say to get you to stop, leaving him speechless as he can do nothing but stand there. Why don't you want him there so bad?

“I… I failed you,” you finally sob out, clenching your fists as they crack. Your nails dig into your skin as you force your body to turn away from him.

“What are you talking about?” Bakugo asks, incredulous. “Failed me, how?”

“I got too ahead of myself,” you further explain. “Thought I could take that villain on my own, only to get a taste of my own medicine.”

Is this what this is about? Why you were in such a haste to kick him out of your hospital room? 

His uncontrollable laughter catches you off guard, having you spinning your head to look at him so hard that it hurts. “W-why are you laughing? It's not funny!” 

“Oh, honey.” There he goes, calling you honey in your horrible predicament. “But it is!”

His laughter dies down not too shortly after, a hand instinctively reaching to caress you, pushing away your braids that nurses lazily put in a ponytail. “It was bound to happen. You climb up the ranks, get a little cocky and then God strikes ya down. Happens to us all.”

“You make my near-death experience sound like it's normal,” you mumble.

“It is,” he points out. “For people like us. It's what we signed up for— it's what you signed up. Be grateful you're alive. From what I'm hearing, you'll make a great recovery. If Recovery Girl was working here, you'd have been out of here quicker than this.”

“I thought you were going to chastise me,” you admit. “It's what I wanted— what I needed.”

“If ya wanted it so much, you wouldn't’ve tried kicking me out.”

“Mmm, maybe you're right,” you give up. “You should still, though.”

His eyes grow dark in a teasing fashion, looking down at you. “And give ya what you want so easily? Not a fat chance.”

—

As Bakugo had said you would, you make a speedy recovery, getting back on your toes in no time. You take his advice, taking it easy and to not make the mistakes he made earlier on in going solo. Your ranking has dropped a few, having to live with the next month or so with people ridiculing and noting how you got full of yourself. They were right, you did, and you'll learn to be better— to accept help and ask for it. Being a pro-hero isn't a one-man gig, after all. 

You still have your Thursday nights free to spend them with Bakugo. Your accident seems to bring the two of you incredibly closer, and to the few onlooking pros that saunter inside, it's too close. You scrunch up your nose in laughter. You slap at his chest in your fit of giggles as his arms instinctively wrap around your waist and pull you closer, your head falling to his chest. You're laughing so hard that it's hard to breathe and you're nearly choking. “Woah there, honey. ‘M not that funny.”

You stop laughing, expression turning serious in a millisecond that it's nearly concerning until your voice is barely above a whisper, “Stop calling me honey. I don't think you're aware of what it does to me.”

For a moment, Bakugo’s eyes widen at your openness before they share the same darkness that yours have been growing. “I wasn't, but now that I am, I think I'll just abuse that little info.”

— 

Maybe Bakugo’s alright with this period in his life after all. Being able to say that he's an experienced man, where despite his long days of pro-hero work, he's managed to keep his dick wet through it all. It means he knows how to please someone of your caliber. 

He's a big man, despite the pudge that's grown on him. He can't workout as much as he used to, but picking you up? You're light as a feather. 

The moment he got you through his front door, he couldn't wait any longer. He needed you in a way he's never felt with any other woman. The taste of your lips don't compare to the plenty of one night stands he's had. He's got you in his arms, legs wrapped around his waist as he pushes you against the door. The tent in his pants continues to form, rubbing against you as slick sticks to the crotch of your panties. 

“Fuck,” he curses deliriously, pulling away from the kiss with a hiss. His eyes are low and hazy, filled with wanton lust. “Bet ya taste so good. Been wanting to try ya for a while.”

“Oh really?” You giggle, eyes sparkling in interest. You buck your hips into him, feeling his cock against your core. He's pulling at the hem of your shirt, helping you out of this damned hero costume. “Since when?”

“Dunno,” he shrugs with a pant. With the top of your suit gone, you do him the favor of kicking off your pants. Leaving you nearly bare and for him ogle. His eyes are glued to your chest, getting rid of your bra next to play with your dark and pert nipples. Your breasts are perky, ready to be sucked on. He takes a nipple in his mouth before remembering what else he wanted to say. “Since ya started stalking me at the bar.”

“Wait,” despite the sexual situation you find yourself in, your eyes widen at the sheer fear that he knew that you had watched him. That he had known the small fact that you had memorized his scheduled visits to Sakura's Blossom. You push against his chest, pulling him away from your breasts. “You knew that I knew all this time?” 

“Feel like we're no longer on the same page here,” he furrowed his eyebrows to clarify, fingers trailing to pinch at your nipples. “But since ya started yer regular visits.”

“Oh,” your breath of relief turns into a whine when he twists rather harshly. 

“Y’were watching me from before?” His gaze becomes stern in a teasing manner, moreso like he's bemused by the fact. 

“Used to patrol right next to Sakura's,” you shamelessly admit, gnawing on your bottom lip as you start to grind against his cock. It has him remembering why you're here, what he wants to do to you. “A hot spot for pro-heros— a villain's bound to hit some day.”

“Oh, shut up already,” he finally huffs out. 

“You're the one asking the—” You squeal as Bakugo flips you upside down, feeling his nose press into your mound. He takes a deep inhale that you can feel. His hold on you gets tight, a visceral grip that will have your sides aching by the morning. “Oh, gosh! Dynamite!”

Your damn dedication to calling him his hero name pisses him off, especially in a position like this. “Don't call me Dynamite when I'm tryna eat yer pussy.” The slap to your ass echos the room, you swallowing a breath of air in your shock. “It's Bakugo or Katsuki from this point on, got it?”

He slaps your ass again at your silence. “Ya got it?”

“Fuck,” you finally mewl out. “Yes, Bakugo.”

His cock twitches, loving the way you say his last name. He smirks. “I'll make sure that I have it engraved in your head when I'm done with you.”

“Didn't you tell me to shut up alr— oh…” 

You feel his tongue against your covered mound, pressing into the fabric before the sound of sucking. He can taste you through it. He can taste your juices through the cotton of your panties with no shame at all. His eyes flutter shut as he feels your hands reach for his hips and dig your nails into him. They go through his shirt and into his skin as you can't help but roll your pelvis into him. 

You can feel the blood rush to your head, but fuck are you enjoying this. His desperation to taste you at his front door, not bothering to get you down on a bed. More juices pool from you as you gain more stability in this position, bucking your hips up to his mouth as you feel his teeth graze your skin, catching the hem of your panties and tugging it to the side. The cold conditioned air that breathes down on your core is brutal and in the darkness, Bakugo can see your pussy shine in its wetness. “Shit, I’ve gotcha all to myself, don't I? You're just mine for the taking.”

Your hands traverse to his bottoms, unzipping it as you nod. “‘m all yours, Bakugo.”

You pull down his pants as best as you can, palming his cock through his underwear and hearing a slew of curse words fall from his lips. “Yer gonna be the death of me.”

Finally do you reach in his pants, pulling out his cock. He's been losing a lot of things due to age lately, and he's grateful that an erection isn't on the list yet. Hard and prominent and all for you, he can only see so much, trying to get a good look at your face from the position, but it's hopeless, he can only feel how good you are. With one hand, he uses it to wrap around your waist tightly before using the other to rub two fingers between your folds, hissing when he feels your tongue against his tip. He spreads your slick down your pussy, making your lips all messy of yourself while he tries to remain steady as you take him in.

You can't help but moan, feeling yourself pulsate at the idea of sucking Bakugo off. How the sheer thought of it makes your pussy pool with heat. Legs wrapped around his head, you yearn for more than just his fingers as they dance around your entrance, his middle and index digits a mess. Your heart races as your tongue swirls around his tip, tasting his precum against your lips. You salivate, letting your spit lubricate his cock as you use a hand to hold it up. You shuffle to get your tongue at the base, the tip of it touching the juncture of where his cock and balls meet. You feel a vein just right there and it seems to be a sensitive spot for dear old Bakugo, causing him to shudder the moment you touch it. 

“Keep doing that n’ I'm gonna cum like a little boy,” he warns you. And you were going to keep at it and play the part of a dirty little vixen until you feel his wet muscle at the center of your nectarine. Lips around your clit, Bakugo groans around it, tasting you from the fruit itself. It surely keeps you occupied as you momentarily lose focus. You grip around his base, squeezing it and causing his fingers to dig deep into you. Whimpering at the pain, it jolts you out of your haze as you bring his cock to your lips. It's a ravenous torture between the two of you, trying to bask in your pleasure while trying to grant the other some as well. 

Still, you mewl and moan around his length, eyes sparkling in delight as you swallow his shaft. Cheeks hollowing as his pink, cut top rests on your tastebuds. Pre continues to leak from him, a translucent mess that slides down with ease. He feels so good inside your mouth, and you can feel his legs flexing and contracting at what you're administrating. A true, dirty vixen you are.

But, Bakugo's no better to you. Lapping at your pussy like a starved man, both of you are so eager to give to each other. He tastes the intricacies of your pussy, mapping it out with his tongue as his grip around your waist tightens and his free hand is back to join the party. A thumb pressing down on your clit, building up pressure and has your legs tightening around his head. Around his length, your moans become more high-pitched at the overstimulation, feeling your legs tense then untense. 

Your face is a mess, saliva dripping down to your forehead due to this upside down state. Your head beginning to hurt but you don't have the heart to tell Bakugo to stop because you don't want to. It's bound for him to change positions soon, but gosh, you want to delve in this a little longer. You continue to bob your head, the wet sounds mixing with your slurps further sounding the room. You become daring, letting go of your other hand around him and putting all of your faith into Bakugo. Your upper body dangling upside down as your other free hand travels to cup his balls, shortly remembering that spot he oh-so warned you about. 

You fondle them, greeted back to that jerk of his leg as his waist’s now pressed to the door. He momentarily pulls off of you to curse, “Shit.”

However, he never corrected you or tried to get you to stop, simply speeding up his attack on your clit to receive a close response as well. It works, but you remain focus as your mouth is off him for a second as you stroke his length, finally taking in just how big he is and how you truly weren't able to fit all of him in. All this time, working with an aged cock that could destroy you. It has you whimpering out to yourself at the anticipation of your pussy being stretched out by him. His cock glistens even with such a lack of light, your spit being the work of that. Your strokes are quick and languid, mirroring his reign on your clit, causing your hips to jerk and twitch every so often. 

Your actions falter every once in a while, but you're so determined. You're always so determined, that's what Bakugo adores about you. Even as a sidekick that often fucked up, you had your own way of showing it. You were just like him in a way, stubborn as a mule to get what you want. You just needed to learn how not to give in to people when they bite harder. And here he is, gently nibbling down on your folds, but you refuse to back down, determined to make him come undone. 

You fondle his balls, adjusting his cock up, going to that dangerous place that he warned about. A chaste kiss before your lips are fully around it and you're suckling on one of his sacs. In this position, you can truly get a good whiff of him. There's a musk, but don't be mistaken, he's sure to clean himself. It's not overpowering as you can still smell the minty hint of whatever brand of bar soap he's using. The combination has your senses going to overdrive as your legs tighten immensely around him for a moment. 

That typical clench of your stomach goes ignored as you're determined to make Bakugo release. You're unforgiving and relentless, stroking his cock as mouth tries to fit his second sac of balls in. Your moan has become a melody to his ears as his head hits the door and he tries to remain focused on your pussy. She's so damn close, he grunts to himself. Don't give into her just yet. However, it's easier said than done when he feels his cock twitching in your hold and he moans. Sending vibrations straight to your core, your achievement and his response is enough for that band in your stomach to finally snap as he lets go. 

You both gift each other your essence. You, you're the forbidden nectar in the garden of Eden, your juices so natural that it tastes sweet. There's a tang to it that has him quickly intoxicated as he finds himself addicted. Him, he's like a refreshing taste of cold water on a hot summer day. You're feeling nothing but delight when his white cum shoots down your throat and you have no choice but to swallow everything— you wouldn't dare spit anything out. 

You both need a breather to come back to the present. You're still stuck in this now painful position as your head comes to throb and you have to croak out Bakugo's name to remind him. Slowly but surely does he get you back on the right side up before finally taking a step away from the door. His legs work like muscle memory as his lips plant on yours, swallowing away the pain as he makes a beeline for his bedroom. Pushing open the door and not bothering to have it shut, he hurries to put you down on the bed. He still has you in his arms when he does, grinding his still hardened length against your pussy. All traces of your release disappeared on his tongue, but you can still taste the remnants of yourself, as you both can taste each other. 

Now that you're on a bed, you feel yourself slowly checking out as the pain is slowly alleviated by your comfort. Bakugo mutters some stuff that you couldn't care less about, only mewling and nodding in agreement until you feel his hand grab your face, squeezing your cheeks. It's hard to focus on him, to stare right back into his eyes. 

“Awww,” he coos. “Is it all too much for my baby?” He noticed your disorientation immediately, planting a chaste kiss on your lips as his eyebrows knit with concern. “She doesn't want to stop, does she?”

Immediately comprehending that, you shake your head. “Mmm, no,” you squeak out. However, Bakugo's lips drop to your ears, whispering out, “are ya sure? We can always—”

“Yes— yes, I'm sure,” you persist. “I need you, Bakugo. Would you not help a woman in need?”

He doesn't like the way you stammered out that yes, still peering down at you. However, your eyes have significantly steadied now and that same brand of determination is back on your face to finally convince him. He finally caves with a barely audible ‘okay.’ He dives down to meet you for another kiss, hands roaming to grip your legs. So focused on the kiss, you're taken aback when he hikes on leg up, your knee touching your shoulder. His cock is perfectly slotted in between your folds before he does the same with your other leg. 

“Bakugo,” you groan at this change of position. He claims that you'll be the death of him, but you beg to differ. Your soiled panties are still on you, which Bakugo is sure to get rid of in a hurried haste, pulling so hard at it that it rips. You gasp, calling out his name once more, but he dismisses your complaint. “You'll be fine.”

You feel so exposed with your body pressed like this, in the dark with Bakugo looming over you. His cock slides in between your folds, wet sounds running through the air. You don't know what he's waiting for, so you do the work for him, wanting him to ravish you just as much as he does. That familiar grip returns to his cock and before you can press his head to your entrance, he slaps your hand away. You whine in protest, but he pushes you. “Have some patience, honey. Good things take time.”

The return of that damn nickname he's given you. Once used sarcastically, now one that he's going to use to his advantage because of you— all because you couldn’t keep in your attraction for him anymore. You should be grateful for it. It's landed up in this position, but now he always has the upperhand over you, knowing just how to make you cave. 

You clench around nothing, feeling his shaft go in a back and forth rhythm as it barely presses down on your clit how you want it to. You whine nonetheless, hoping that Bakugo will pity your desperation and give in. “Bakugo, please… I need you in me. Need to know how you feel.”

One hand comes to grab your face roughly, squeezing your cheeks to make your lips pucker up. “Oh, is that right? You need to know how I feel inside you? Or what, hm?” He challenges. “Ya gonna die without knowing.”

You nod, tears pricking the corner of your eyes. “I just might.”

He can't help but chuckle at that. “Yer cryin’, again? Yer tears don't work on me anymore, honey. They just egg me on. Love to see ‘em now. Know that I've got ya all desperate for me.”

“Don't care,” you mewl. “I want you inside me.”

He keeps up at it, gliding his cock between your folds and letting his shaft collect your juices. You're so fucking wet for him that all he wants to do is bury himself deep inside you and finish, but he practices what he preaches and holds himself back. “Is this how you are with all the men you sleep with? Such a whiny baby. Rumored to be the next number one hero, a crybaby for cock?”

He taunts and teases you, pushing out his bottom lip as he tuts. “It's almost cute.”

From all your whining and desperate begging, you don't realize that Bakugo’s now slotted the tip of his cock at your entrance. It's not until his head is inside and he's deep inside you that you fully register his intrusion, a loud sob coming from your lips as he stretches you out. But just as quick as you were shocked, moans slip easily from your mouth as you drag out just how you're feeling. 

Watching you—watching how your eyes are blazed with a fire that's filled with wanton lust. He's never seen it with everyone else and he quickly realized that you've gotten him under your spell and he's so deep in it that he doesn't want to retract. It's as though you're a succubus, a demon that feeds off of lust, with the way the corner of your lips turn upwards in a smile. Your hands come to wrap around his neck and Bakugo puts all his weight on you, causing him to go deeper in you. 

You feel the tip of his cock kiss your cervix, pain mixing in with pleasure. Your back’s barely able to arch against the bed under Bakugo’s heavy weight, but your nails digging into the nape of his neck is enough to communicate just how you feel. As do your words.

“Ba— Katsuki, you feel so good,” that sudden shift from his last to his first name nearly has him cumming inside you too early. The creaking of the bed halts for a moment as his crimson red eyes look deep into yours. With his stillness, it makes you focus on the length that's against your walls, stretching you out. “Yeah, I think I prefer you calling me Katsuki better. Be a good girl and keep at it, will ya?”

It sounds like a request, but in this position, you know it’s a command. You don’t have a chance to respond, not that you were going to. He’s thrusting into you once more, but this pace is more brutal than before as he sits up and drills into your pussy without any remorse. He pushes down on your legs, making them ache as they press against your breast, making them more accentuated. Your moans become more high-pitched as you cry out his name— his first name. 

“That’s it,” he grins, maniacally. “Call my name out like the dirty little slut you are. Let my neighbors know who’s making you feel this good.”

One of your hands drag to cling to his bicep, making marks in a matter of seconds as your juices spill out of you. You’ve never had anyone else make you feel the way that Bakugo does. How he easily takes control and dominates you. With him, he lets you know that while you run the streets of Tokyo, Japan, you’ll always be underneath him. The stinging pain that runs through your lower body is delicious and while you know you’ll bear the consequences in the morning, you bask in the pleasure it secretes now. 

In this moment, you become delirious as your imagination becomes active as you can see a future with Bakugo, but is that what he wants? Hands back on his neck, you tug him down to you. “Katsuki… need you.”

“You’ve already got me, honey,” Bakugo kisses the corner of your lips, pace slowing by a pinch. “What more do you need?”

“Kiss me,” you whisper, eyes becoming glossy with wanton need. Something snaps within the both of you, a sudden shift that changes the trajectory of your relationship with him forever. Time stops for a moment before his lips are on you— lust turning into something more, something fatal. No longer is he pistoning inside you to oblivion, but holding you with more care. Precise thrusts that still get the work done to having you call out his name without a care in the world. 

He’s hitting that special spot inside of you, memorizing the sounds you make just for him. That familiar coil comes back and you bring Bakugo closer to you. “G’nna cum. Please make me cum, Katsuki.”

“Anything for you, honey.” He helps you ride out your orgasm, slowing down as he brings your legs to finally lay on the bed. Not too long after does he empty himself inside you, painting your insides white before pulling out completely. He makes eye contact with you. This. This is the perfect time, your mind tells you. 

Getting your breath steady, you peer up at him. “I never did thank you, y’know.”

“For what?” he grunts, sitting up on the bed, completely towering over you as you stay in place. Climbing over you, he’s reaching for something. Shortly after, he tosses you a water bottle that you catch with ease. 

“Just…” you sigh. “For everything.” 

—

FIVE MONTHS LATER 

"Spiderweb has had such a spectacular come up. From working under retired pro-hero, Dynamite, as a sidekick to being endorsed into a hero. She’s climbed the roster faster than anyone else has and while she had her stumbling moments, she came back to kick butt and prove to Japan that she is the hero they need!"

"We’ve managed to get a video with the pro-hero themself about the announcement of her current hero ranking—" Shortly, they pull up separate footage of a next reporter before it shows you.

“Spiderweb, please tell us how it feels to currently be the number one hero of Japan!”

The camera pans to you, your eyes lighting up in delight. You’re panting heavily standing outside in the hot sun, evidently just finishing a case. You have to catch your breath before your attention is fully turned to the camera. “It feels… It feels unbelievable, y’know? I mean, I’ve heard the rumors about it, but for it to actually come true? It’s only been a couple years into becoming a pro-hero and it feels like it’s something I don’t deserve, but I know for sure that I’ve worked my ass off— sorry for the language, kids!

“I’m just really grateful,” you continue your rambling. “I’m really grateful for everyone who believed in me and put their faith in me, especially my old mentor, the man that endorsed me himself. Dynamite, if you’re watching this! I know I’ve already told you this already, but thank you! I couldn’t have gotten here without you. I love— I mean, I’m forever in your favor.”

It’s a Thursday night and he’s not at the bar this time. Instead, he’s at his place, getting ready to head to yours. He’s lucky he kept the television on to hear you say that. He’ll certainly tease you later for it, but now, a sense of pride washes over him.  “That’s my girl.”

( author's note. ) this was only supposed to be 5k words, but gosh i had so much fun writing this. you guys have no clue.

[jinnxedy]

Do you take requests for your writings?

If not, just ignore this...

I read one of your headcannons about Abby that says that she treats the stuff animals she gifted to her s/o like if they were their children.

One day, she comes home in a bad mood after a stressful day and takes out her anger in reader and make a comment about it.

"Stop treating them like that. They're not real"

But of course, she apologized and had a happy ending.

Take your time and take care 🫶

Hii, this is such a good request, thank you for suggesting this 💕 I hope you like it and I hope it meets your expectations!

Disclaimer: not much, just some cursing, mentions of clickers and such? Don't know If this is considered angst with happy ending, but I doubt it. English not being my first language, idk lmao I think that's it.

Abby wasn't having it today. Everything and everyone irritated her, the patrols, clickers, Isaac being on her ass every second, could people be more annoying today?

She doesn't know what's going on with her, she couldn't talk to anyone without making a snarky, backhanded comment. Don't get her wrong, she feels so bad for it, but she doesn't have time for apologies. It's too much for her, she says.

Walking back to her shared room with you, she could feel her own body giving up. Her legs weak, head pounding, shoulders tense, jaw clenched, you get the gist.

She just wants, no, needs some rest.

As soon as she opens the door, she's met with the sight of you laying in bed, plushies all around you. You were reading one of Abby's books, and honestly they were too boring for your taste. It's not like you had other things to focus on. You had one of your favorite stuffed animals in hand, holding it for some sort of comfort. Truth is, you've missed Abby, not being able to see her all day was torture.

You diverted your gaze away from the book to Abby, a genuine smile quickly painted onto your face. Dropping the book back at the nightstand and rushing to her side, you hug her.

And listen, Abby loves your hugs, but she's had a long day. The sudden and unexpected contact made her grunt in pain, pulling back from the hug unintentionally. Her eyebrows scrunching a bit as she closed her eyes and sighed in slight annoyance.

You were hurt to say the least, she's never reacted like this to your touch, you've never seen her so hostile towards you.

"Abby... is everything okay, did I do something wrong?" Your voice soft, gentle, and careful. You were scared of getting a bad reaction out of her.

It was so weird, the way she just dismissed your question and went right to bed. You hummed quietly to yourself, almost in disbelief of this girl's behavior.

I mean, the fuck?

Abby huffed at the feeling of one of your stuffed animals poking her back as she laid down back in the bed, rolling her eyes and throwing it across the room. You stare at her wide eyed, a scolding look on your face

"What the hell was that for?" You didn't raise your voice, but you were assertive, you needed to know what was going on with her today. "Why did you throw the poor guy? He didn't deserve that" You said jokingly, hoping she knew you wanted to light the mood up a little.

Still, Abby failed to get the small joke. "Stop treating them like that. They're not real" You didn't fail to notice her bitter tone, taken aback by it.

You weren't offended by the words, after all they weren't directed towards you, but the way she spoke and treated you earlier, that made it for you.

"I don't know what the fuck's wrong with you today? You're being such an asshole to me, I didn't do anything. Apologize, talk to me, do something... anything." You sounded hurt, your face filled with worry.

Just then, Abby realized how she treated you. You didn't deserve this, what was she thinking?

She sat on the bed, thinking of what to say, only inaudible and incomprehensible apologies coming out. She was rambling, fumbling over her own words, only making her more frustrated.

You sighed and sat down beside her, putting your head on her shoulder and holding her hand, offering comfort and support. Abby took a moment before talking again, enjoying your soft touches here and there, not failing to calm her down. This is just what she needed, your soft fingers running up and down her arms and hands, you were her own personal haven.

"I'm so, so sorry. Please, forgive me" Her voice sounded meek, vulnerable, her hands looking for your own, needing you to make her feel better.

You saw the desperate look on her eyes, and you felt so bad for the poor girl.

You just held her all night, running your fingers through her hair, kissing all over her face, anything to lift her spirits up. Abby loved it, the way you caressed her, held her with such care and love, your delicate fingers tenderly grazing all over her skin.

Abby doesn't know what she would do without you, you complete her perfectly.

[nyuusayuri]

My "handsome" Stalker

Ateez Choi San x Reader (SMUT)

Warnings: stalking, signs of violence, dirty talk, possessive behavior, smut

For your information: I made up this story 10 years ago (when I was around 14-15), so I apologize if some things sound weird or rushed, but I wanted to keep as much of the original as possible.

In the middle of the forest, I got a strange feeling. A feeling I only had when something was wrong. And something was definitely not right here. I stopped and looked around carefully. It was getting a bit dark, but I didn't care. My eyes were good enough to see everything around me. When I looked back ahead, he was there. The man who hadn't left me alone for quite some time. He constantly followed me everywhere, never took his eyes off me, and allowed me no privacy. Who was this guy? A sick stalker?! Everything pointed to that being the case. I stared stubbornly into his eyes, which he hid behind black sunglasses. You could hardly see him. The only thing visible were his black hair. The rest was concealed under a black leather jacket, jeans, and black boots. Around his mouth and nose, he wore a mask.

It was intimidating to stand in front of a completely black figure that you didn't know, who was always stalking you, and was now out in the forest as it was getting darker. My limbs had stiffened, and I couldn't move an inch. "What... what do you want from me?!" As hard as it was for me, in all that fear, I tried not to show my anxiety. Did I even want to know what he wanted from me? Probably not. My gaze was fixed on him, but he didn't respond; he simply disappeared behind the bushes. Still frozen and shocked from the unexpected encounter with the unknown stalker, I stood there. Only after a while did the stiffness in my joints fade, and I continued walking through the small forest area toward my home. I took off my shoes and ignored the screaming of my quarrelsome parents, like I did every time, and went straight to my room, just to free myself from my jacket, throwing it onto the small sofa in my room and collapsing, with a loud sigh, into my cozy warm bed. Immediately, my eyelids, heavy from exhaustion, fell shut, and I drifted off into my own land with my own rules.

3 Weeks later

I was slowly fed up. This guy was still stalking me, and now the new bad boy at our school was also in the picture to annoy me. Jae and Sora helped me stay out of his way, but one day it had to happen. Unfortunately, that day was today. He and I had to work together on the same project, that's how we ended up at my house, and I swear I was so close to tearing his head off! He could never keep his hands to himself, and if my little sister wasn't here, he would have been dead a long time ago! I hated this guy so much! "San! Could you please focus on the screen and not on my cleavage?!" I shot him venomous glances, but he didn't seem to be impressed, because instead of trembling with fear, he just laughed. Had I mentioned that I hated this guy?! Because I'd gladly say it again. I hated him! "But you have two far more interesting toys to offer."

Disgusted, I redirected my gaze to the laptop in front of me and began searching for more information about Seoul before our time. After hours, we were both fed up, and it was already getting dark. Since I didn't want him to think about spending the night here, I dragged him straight to the front door. Unfortunately, my parents caught me in all the haste. They still believed that I should finally get a boyfriend, and they were okay with absolutely anyone at the moment. Just not for me. "Y/N sweetheart? Why are you in such a hurry with that poor guy?" I interrupted my mom before she could continue. "I have a lot to do, Mom. San should really be going now." Without waiting for another word, from anyone, I shoved him out the door and slammed it behind me. My parents just looked at me with wide eyes, confusion written on their foreheads. They were the kind of parents who never understood teenagers like me. So I didn't care any further because I knew it wouldn't do any good and immediately disappeared back into "My" realm. "What an idiot! If my parents dare to hook me up with him, I swear I'm gonna jump off a bridge!" I muttered, slightly annoyed.

Yes, I was easily provoked and thrown off course in the evenings. Grumbling, I threw myself onto the bed, pulled the blanket over me, switched off my bedside lamp, and fell immediately into a deep, dreamless sleep. The next morning, I had no desire to go to school. Especially because I had to see him again. It would be even worse if I had to see them both. If I encountered that weird guy from the forest in the same spot again. The thought sent chills down my spine. He scared me, but still... there was something intriguing about him that drew me in. Yes, it really sounded like I was losing my mind, but I was definitely still sane. That's why it felt so strange to me. After arriving at school, I initially had my peace and quiet. Jae and Sora weren't there today, so I could wander around alone all day. I actually had many friends at school, but I only hung out with those I cared about more.

With the others, I would just be bored and wouldn't fit into the group at all. And I could definitely do without that. So, I preferred to sit in a quiet place, put on my headphones, and listen to music. It was a nice feeling to be able to be by myself. At home, I had my family, who usually got on my nerves, and here I had my two friends, who constantly talked about some celebrities, fashion, or other stuff while I just stood there, lost in my thoughts. Today, I had settled once again into my usual spot and listened to Taeyeon's beautiful voice in her song "I." One of the few songs that calmed me down so much that I could relax deeply and everything around me felt like air.

After a while, I looked at the clock on my phone and realized that class was starting again. Thank goodness I had developed a sense for that, otherwise, I would have been late. Sighing, I sank down into my seat and rested my head on my hand. It was so boring without the two of them. But only in class. Suddenly, the shrieking of the girls echoed through the room, causing me to cover my ears and look in the direction where they had all gathered. Who else stood in the doorway? Of course. Choi fucking San. Why else would the girls start screeching like that? Without a word, I just walked right past them and couldn't help but feel his gaze on the back of my neck. Creep.

After school, the feeling of being followed overcame me again. I kept turning around and looking at the surroundings, but I saw no one following me. The few people who were walking around ignored me or gave me confused looks. Shrugging my shoulders, I continued walking. When I arrived home, it was really quiet. That had never happened before. For the past two years, there had always been pure terror as soon as I got home. After all this time, it was quiet in the house, but I didn't like it. Before I went to my room, I crossed the entire house and looked around. Everyone was gone. No one there. Strange. I was still quite uneasy, but I tried to ignore it and went to my room. My phone suddenly flashed and showed me a message from my mother. Apparently my parents and my sister are currently at the doctor's because she had the brilliant idea of ​​eating nuts at school despite her nut allergy. Can't say I was surprised to hear that.

Immediately, I sat down to do my homework because, 1. I wanted to get it done as quickly as possible, and 2. I knew I'd be sitting there for hours again. "Finally! Done." I exhaled and leaned back in my chair. After three hours, I had finally finished. To be honest, I was the kind of person who always got distracted by something without meaning to. That's why I spent a bit longer than others on my homework. When my stomach finally started growling, I walked into the kitchen, grabbed the leftovers from the casserole in the fridge, put it on a plate, and popped it in the microwave while leaning against the counter in our kitchen. Bing. I jumped up, took the plate out of the microwave, and sat down on the sofa, switching on the TV at the same time. I always watched TV while eating. It was completely normal for me.

Something shattered behind me. A small scream escaped my throat, and I immediately looked behind me in the apartment. No one there. But what was that? On the shelf above the TV, we had katanas on display. I couldn't handle those things, but it was better than being unarmed. I quickly grabbed one of the katanas, carefully took it out of its sheath, and walked cautiously in the direction from which the noise originated.

Keeping the sword poised in front of me, I walked through the hallway and discovered my mother's vase shattered on the floor. I almost stepped on the shards. I walked around it in a wide arc and moved toward my father's office. Light was on, and the door was ajar. Suddenly, I saw a shadow beneath the door. I felt fear. Real fear. Any sane person would have screamed and run out of the house, calling for help. But I was different in this situation. What I was doing was the last thing anyone should do.

The door slowly opened, and I held the sword ready to confront the intruder. My eyes widened when I saw who stood before me. The guy who kept stalking me. He was here. In my house! Oh my God! What now? I was frozen. My hands trembled with uncertainty. The last bit of my courage had vanished. The guy slowly approached me cautiously, reaching for his mask that covered half of his face and slowly pulled it down. At the same time, he removed his sunglasses. Did I want to see what creature was beneath that mask? I squinted my eyes and bit down hard on my lower lip. My heart raced uncontrollably, and the adrenaline surged through my blood, making me feel so nervous and restless I could hardly stand. I had never felt as much fear in my entire life as I did in that moment. "Look at me, Y/N." That voice. I knew it. Could it be? Was it really him? Hesitantly, I opened my eyes and immediately looked into the face of the person I hated most. Choi San stood right in front of me. He was the stalker?! Was this guy joking with me?! Angrily, I put the katana down and glared at him with hatred.

"Have you lost your mind scaring me like this?! Do that again, and I'll rip your head off!" I shouted at him, and he flinched slightly before grabbing my wrists and slamming me roughly against the wall. His face was uncomfortably close, and not a second later, as I was thinking about it, his lips were on mine. I fought with all my strength, but he was ten times stronger than me, so I eventually gave in. Still reluctantly, I reciprocated his kiss, and he immediately made it more demanding and wild. I didn't know why, but over time, I let him overpower me. I surrendered completely as he started covering my neck with kisses and sometimes began sucking on it. We then moved into my room; he immediately shoved me onto my bed and knelt over me. Again, he placed his lips on mine, and I automatically wrapped my arms around his neck to pull him even closer to me. Why did I suddenly have this desire for him? None of this made any sense. I hated him! And yet, here I was, wildly making out beneath him. His fingers slid under my shirt and slowly pushed it up. He stroked my stomach while sucking on my neck. Tomorrow, I would definitely have a hickey there.

Jae and Sora were back today. That mainly took away the boredom. It had been two weeks already, but I constantly thought back to that one night when he was with me and kissed me. But the worst part of it all was that I had reciprocated, and if my parents hadn't come home that evening, I probably would have... Oh God, please no! Not with him! Anything but that! My aching cheek brought me back to reality. My two friends were standing in front of me, and Sora had slapped me. That was the only way to pull me out of my daydreams. Still, it hurt. "Sora~. What was that for? That hurts." I whined with a pout. She just placed her hands on her hips and looked at me sternly. "Then stop daydreaming when I'm talking to you. You know how much I hate being ignored." Oh yes, that was true. And how much she hated it. Just as much as being interrupted. If she ever got a boyfriend, I hoped for him that he was deaf-mute.

He pulled my shirt over my head and pinned my wrists to the bed. I hadn't expected that. A bit surprised and nervous at the same time, I looked at him. "S-San? What-..." "Shh. Don't be afraid. I won't hurt you. You mean way too much to me," he murmured against my lips, interrupting me and teasingly licking them. He was driving me crazy. I was already feeling so hot, and my body was practically screaming for him. He sat up and took off his coat and shirt as well. Could you believe it? He had an incredibly well-trained body, and so many tattoos adorned him, making him even more attractive. "Do you like what you see?" he grinned cheekily at me, and only now did I realize that I was staring. I turned my face away, blushing slightly, but didn't answer him. Again, he leaned down for another wild kiss and captured my lips. Suddenly, the front door slammed open, and we both stared in shock in that direction. Then our eyes met again. San pulled his clothes back on, freed me from my restraints, and ran to my window. "See you later," he winked at me and then jumped out of the window. Completely dazed, I remained lying in bed.

A few days later

Suddenly students started to run past us outside and formed a circle around a spot. What the hell? My expression became serious, and I marched outside to the yard with my friends directly behind me. I stopped and saw... my best friend and San? What had Wooyong done? He was the nicest person I knew and was pretty much always with me. Jae always said he wanted something from me, but I couldn't believe that. He was my best friend and nothing more. San seemed to be the one who was angry. I could tell by his gaze. He was tearing Wooyoung apart with just his eyes. I walked up to the two of them and stood between the two fighters. "What's going on here?!" I said seriously, crossing my arms over my chest. San simply ignored me, walked up to him, grabbed him by the collar, and whispered something in his ear that I unfortunately couldn't hear. I immediately pulled him away from Wooyoung, who shot him an angry look before disappearing into the school building, taking half the students with him. The rest scattered across the schoolyard. I could only shake my head and walked over to my best friend. "Wooyoung. Are you okay? What was that about?" "Nothing! That's none of your business." He turned around and just walked away. I watched him with wide eyes. What was that all about?

After school, I felt again that I was being followed. This time, I didn't care since I knew who it was, and I definitely had no fear of him. Out of nowhere I was grabbed by the arm and pulled into a wooded area. Totally surprised, I looked at the back of San's head and was literally forced to follow him. "San, what the hell? Let me go!" He didn't say anything but just kept pulling me along. Eventually, we arrived in a big backyard. "Wait a minute. Isn't this... my backyard?!" I looked at San, somewhat confused. However, he averted his gaze and pulled me into the house. He shoved me into my room and locked the door behind him. He angrily approached me and pushed me onto my bed, leaning over me and looking into my eyes intently. "Stay away from him! Do you understand?!" I blinked several times to comprehend what he meant. "What... what do you mean by that?" He sighed and lowered his head for a moment before looking back into my eyes. "Your friend just wants to get into your pants. Don't fall for that fraud!" "What?! Wooyoung is my best friend! He would never do that!" "Oh, really? Are you sure?" he said still seriously, leaning even closer to me. "Kim Sook. She was very close friends with him for two years until they ended up in bed, and then he left her hanging. My friend Mingi's sister didn't fare any better. So how do you know it would be different for you?! Do you really think I'd let that happen?!" he nearly shouted at me, and I stayed calm out of fear.

For a while, we stared into each other's eyes in silence. He was still so close to me; it made me quite nervous, but it also calmed me down. His closeness and warmth soothed me just like the wonderful, musky scent of his aftershave. Slowly, he bridged the last few centimeters and I could feel those wonderful, soft lips on mine. It was just a brief kiss, but it awakened so much within me. "I don't want to lose you to him," he whispered against my lips and kissed me again, this time with more pressure. I couldn't resist this guy, so I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. He supported himself on his forearms on either side of my head and let the kiss become more passionate while one of his hands glided from my neck down my entire body. A pleasurable shiver ran down my spine, and it felt like it was getting warmer in my room. His hand wandered under my shirt and slowly lifted it. His tongue teased over my lips, and I willingly opened them for him. San's tongue explored my mouth, played with mine, and with both hands, he massaged my breasts. Things got hotter and he leaned down to my neck, gently kissing his way down to my breasts, pulling my shirt and bra off. Normally, I would have turned red with shame, but at that moment, I was too aroused by the hot curly head above me.

His gaze devoured me, and he licked his lips seductively before leaning down to my breasts, circling my nipples with his tongue. Moaning softly, I scratched lightly down his back, enjoying the teasing of my breasts. Occasionally, he would bite lightly and suck on them. It was driving me insane, and my core started tingling with excitement. Impatiently, I squirmed beneath him and noticed his dirty grin as he kissed down my stomach. He wouldn't dare...?! No second later, my legs were pushed further apart, and I saw his head disappear between my legs. "San, stop that!" A bit embarrassed, I tried to stop him, grabbing his hair, but in the next moment, I had to stifle a moan and instinctively clutched his hair tightly. My strength slipped away in an instant, and I sank back into the pillows. He blissfully ran his long tongue along my wet core, skillfully teasing my sensitive pearl with the tip of his tongue, which only made me moan louder, my hips involuntarily arching up to meet him. His lips wrapped around my pearl, and he sucked on it hard, licking teasingly over my entrance while grinning at me. I couldn't do anything but surrender completely and let this man drive me crazy.

Moaning, I pulled on his hair and moved my hips against him, feeling that I was getting closer to my long-desired climax. Just a few more seconds, and I would finally go over the edge after his sweet torture on my sensitive clit. "San! Fuck!" I cried out, clutching his hair tighter, pulling on it as I arched my back and climaxed. Never in my life had an orgasm been as overwhelming as this one. Breathless and totally surprised, I looked at San, who was smirking cheekily, eliciting one last whimper from me followed by a reflexive arching of my hips as his tongue glided one last time over my now pulsating core. He kissed his way back up to me, sucking onto a spot behind my ear. I bit my lower lip to stifle any revealing sound, but just the tension in my body seemed to let him know that it was that spot I liked the most, and he traced it with his tongue. "Do you like that?" he whispered into my ear with his rough, deep voice, bringing another whimper out of me, and the only thing I could manage was a weak nod. San looked at me and didn't even try to hide his smug grin, to which I just rolled my eyes.

My gaze traveled along his face to his full, rosy lips, just waiting to press themselves back onto mine, showering me with their gentleness. "Do you want more?" It was just a soft whisper brushing against my lips that sent indescribable goosebumps down my spine, yet it was enough to stir up my loins and reflexively make my head nod slightly, though forcefully. God, what was this guy doing to me? Grinning, San stood up from me, and I became witness to an incredibly hot strip tease. It hadn't even occurred to me that he still had all his clothes on. But that I was getting this private show right now made me all the happier, and I could hardly wait to feel him inside me. To be taken shamelessly yet tenderly and passionately. He was driving me completely mad, and my clarity was dwindling as I was led to unleash the woman that had been slumbering inside me this whole time. A fiery young woman who had been waiting for the man who would cloud all her senses and send her to cloud nine, making her forget where up and down were. I immediately shook my head and tried to regain some clarity of mind.

This guy had managed to make me aroused just by my thoughts of the tattooed, dominant, and hot man who had such an incredibly bright smile and could easily wrap any woman around his finger. I still couldn't take my eyes away from that incredibly hot six-pack, scrutinizing every single one of his tattoos in detail. I just caught on the side how he grinned at me and slowly moved back toward my bed. Like a predator, he crawled toward me, pushing me back into the pillows. Again, he came so close, and his gaze made me hold my breath for a moment. His eyes were full of lust, and even his breath became a bit shallower, while his skin felt burning hot. "Do you have any idea how damn sexy you look? So helpless and so aroused. And all because of me." His rough voice made my core pulse even stronger, and I instinctively squirmed beneath him.

With a glazed look, he watched me until he grabbed my legs, spreading them apart and lying between them. He pressed his lips demandingly against mine and immediately deepened the kiss into a wild and intense tongue dance. San sucked on my tongue, licking and playing with it while his hands began to travel down my legs. Gently, he ran his right hand along my inner thigh to my core and paused just before reaching it. A bit confused, I was about to break the kiss and ask him what he was planning, when suddenly I felt something hard and pulsing at my entrance. Slowly and carefully, making sure not to hurt me, he entered my hot tightness. Piece by piece, deeper and deeper until he was fully buried inside me, letting out a quiet moan. With steady movements, he slowly thrust into me and gradually picked up speed, pounding harder and harder. "Oh my God. San!" Overwhelmed by this sudden and indescribable feeling as he thrust into me, I nearly screamed and clung to his back. "Found you."

Grinning, he grabbed my hips, pulling me closer to him and let his pelvis hit hard against mine. His thrusts became deeper and faster, and each time he hit that one spot inside me, drawing the most beautiful sounds from me and truly sending me to cloud nine. San's hands clutched the pillows beside my head, and his incredible hip movements grew more uncontrolled as he panted. I instinctively wrapped my legs around his waist and let him drive me onward. Finally, we both soared together over the edge and screamed each other's names into the room. Breathless and totally spent, he fell beside me after pulling out and draped the blanket over our bodies. "That was..." "Yes, that... was it," I finished his sentence, looking at him with a weak smile as I breathed heavily, which he returned by pulling me into his strong arms. "I love you, Y/N." That was the last thing I heard before my eyes fell shut and I drifted off into dreamland.

[leviathanspain]

i’ll be at the door, hoping you’ll come around

azriel x reader

synopsis: azriel didn’t know you were his mate, and you vowed to shut him out before he did.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

your tongue could’ve split with just how much you were biting down on it. gazing at azriel with elain from across the table, you wondered how you even got stuck with them. all the others had split off into the club, and it was just the three of you now, you throwing drinks back and elain cuddling up to azriel.

you didn’t even focus on them until your attention caught at elain whispering in his ear, her hand petting his forearm. the rage you felt boiled over and the glass you had been holding, the whiskey in it drained away, had shattered all over the table and you.

elain yelped as she and az looked at the scene. you stood up, your face turning into an unnatural smile as tears threatened to fall.

you practically zipped to the back corner of the club, the bathroom was a sorry excuse but you still stuck your hand under the facet, scrubbing it clean of glass. the cut was large and deep, but all you could do was wrap it up and wait.

a knock on the door made you turn and you saw feyre stepping inside. concern struck her face as she grabbed your hand, “az told me what happened. are you okay?” you felt a tap on the mental shields and set a wave over to rhys, ‘im fine’ you thought, and his hum echoed into your head.

“i’m fine.” you looked at feyre, “really.” you sniffled and feyre cooed, “i’m sorry.” you said as she began to wrap her arms around you. “i- it’s just frustrating.” you admitted. feyre knew, she was the first one to figure it out but you would’ve told her anyway. “we should’ve hung back. im sorry, i know how much third wheeling sucks.” she patted your back and you nodded, “yeah. i think i’m just gonna head home. i don’t wanna-“ you waved a hand to the door and laughed weakly. feyre nodded, “do you want rhys to winnow you home?” you shook your head, “no. i’ll walk, clear my head a bit.”

feyre and you exited the bathroom. you didn’t even bring a bag to collect so you found yourself outside, a makeshift bandage on your hand rubbing on your dress. you shuddered slightly at the cold but your home wasn’t too far from the club, so you began your trek, until a familiar voice had you pulling back.

“y/n.” azriel called after you and you stopped. you turned around reluctantly and smiled weakly, “az. im sorry about earlier. i guess i didn’t know my own strength as well as i thought i did.” you tried to make light of it, but he didn’t even crack a smile. all he did was reach down to grab your hand, taking a good look at the bandage, he grimaced, “i’m sorry.”

you were taken aback slightly.

why was he apologizing?

“what?” you whispered before pulling your hand back. you gazed at azriel, who sighed deeply, “you were uncomfortable back there.” you began to shake your head and he held up a hand, “i can read people’s body language, i knew how you felt and i didn’t think to fix it. so im sorry.”

you shook your head, “no, it’s my fault for third wheeling with you guys. i know better from feyre and rhys.” you shifted uneasily in your stance, the throb of your wound intensified.

“elain and i aren’t together.” azriel was quick to speak, “she just needed company. i do it because rhysand asked me to.”

you nodded, “that’s kind of you, az. but i have to go now. i’ll see you around.” you didn’t even let him get a word of a goodbye in before you started walking.

azriel stayed watching your back, knowing just how much he wanted to say more to you.

azriel held his knife in his hand as cassian went on and on incessantly about nesta. he looked at cassian’s face, the focus of listening to him was long gone and he found himself thinking about you.

he wanted to immediately help you after you hurt your hand, but all he could do was listen to elain’s off handed comments about your ‘weird behavior’.

“what do you think about y/n?” azriel looked at cassian, aware but not entirely that he had interrupted him.

cassian wanted to fly into a rage that azriel hadn’t been listening, but hardly did azriel ever ignore him.

“she’s hot but i’m with nesta and she’s feyre’s best frie-“ he shrugged and began to ramble but azriel held up a hand, “cass- i didn’t mean it like that.” he paused, “do you think she hates me or something?” he looked at cassian with a strike of concern on his face and cassian found himself dumbstruck at his concern. “no. she doesn’t.” he assured him, knowing very well that y/n had no reason to. azriel nodded, and cassian moved the conversation along but azriel’s thoughts faded in and out about you.

you had barreled into his office without even checking in first. rhysand greeted you unhappily at the door, “i could hear your thoughts of the hundreds of ways to kill a high lord. i guess that wasn’t on accident?” he quipped, moving to sit at the gigantic chair made for illyrians, sitting at the other end of his desk.

“no.” you inhaled sharply, “why in the world would you tell azriel to keep elain company?” you maintained your tranquility and instead tried to focus on not scrambling rhysand’s brains.

rhysand let out a sigh, “oh cauldron.” he stood up, “i’m so sorry. that was before i even knew the two of you were mates. elain had just been made and she really liked az-“ he continued but you cut him off.

“it’s fine. i get it, you didn’t know.” you felt defeated in a way, even if this entire situation was in your control. rhysand must’ve thought the same because he raised his eyebrows at you.

you huffed, “i cant. i won’t!” you stormed out of the office and down the steps of the townhouse. feyre wasn’t home, otherwise you’d be with her, nailing the last screw in your ‘i refuse to tell az’ coffin.

you trudged back to the city, your eyes focused entirely on trying not to trip at the overwhelming volume of snow. “hey.” a hand grabbed your shoulder and you turned to see it was azriel.

you tried a smile, “az.” you greeted, and he said your name, “are you coming from the townhouse?” you nodded, “yup. i was talking to rhys for a little bit but now i’m off-“ you looked at the various shops and smiled, “i gotta go. i’ll see you later.”

azriel watched you walk away, again, and he stomped his way to the townhouse, his sour mood taking over.

“she does hate me!” he threw himself into the chair and threw his feet up on the ottoman. cassian rubbed his shoulder, “it happens to the best of us.”

“not now.” azriel put a stop to cassians jokes and instead inhaled sharply, “i don’t know what happened. we barely talked at first, and then we did and it was going good and then,” he imitated an explosion in his hands, “that.”

rhysand was already hearing the conversation from upstairs and had already made his way down.

“that’s not the issue. just stop hanging out with elain.” he raised his eyebrows and azriel scoffed, “what? rhys you told me to-“

rhys shrugged, “now i’m telling you to not. do i have to break it down better?”

cassian laughed and azriel rolled his eyes, “whatever.”

azriel paced the front door of your apartment for literal hours. the day was young when he had been encouraged by his brothers to go and talk to you. but now, the sun was setting and he still hadn’t found the nerve.

he stuck his hand in his pocket and raised the other to knock, but the door had already been pulled open.

“az.” you looked at him, stunned, his fist raised as if he was going to knock, he quickly put it down, “y/n.”

you looked behind him and saw he was alone, “what are you doing here?” you hardly ever let any of the inner circle into your apartment, only feyre and rhysand but that was because they helped you buy it.

“do you hate me? because we were fine for a few months and then we became what i thought was friends and then you became distant and we hardly even talk, and all i want to do is-“ he rambled, something that azriel never did. he was usually quiet, but this was out of the ordinary.

so you kissed him. your lips were warm on his, especially after he had been in the cold the whole time. azriel kissed you back, an intense feeling overwhelmed him and he pulled back.

he looked at you, bewildered almost. he panted, “are you-“ you nodded, “it was killing me seeing you with her.” you admitted, finally taking that breath of relief as he nodded, “mate.” his shadows floated towards you and he pulled them back, “mate!” he seemed stunned tk even hear it.

“mate.” you responded, and he grabbed you, pulling you in close as he kissed you, “my mate.”

[verathena14]

Okay so the other day, I stumbled across a post asking why Sora forgave Riku for everything he did in KH1. And of course my Soriku brain went "It's because he loves him, duh," but I realized that something a lot of us Soriku Endgame Actually believers discuss quite a bit... might not be common knowledge. And so I got to thinking.

Sora doesn't really know when Riku got possessed in KH1.

Sora didn't see Riku get possessed. And Riku had been acting weird ever since the night of the storm. So it's reasonable to assume that Riku had been possessed before they even left the islands.

...Right?

Everything that Riku did after the islands got destroyed?

Sora thinks that was Ansem. That it was always Ansem.

We, as the players, know it wasn't, but Sora doesn't know what we know.

He doesn't realize that everything before their final confrontation was Riku. And yeah, Riku wasn't in the most mentally stable position, and Maleficent was gaslight-gatekeep-girlbossing him, but he still had control over his body. Everything he said were his own words and feelings.

And this is made even more clear by CoM, right after SDG (and Jiminy) first meet Repliku.

But... it's not. In the few scenes where Ansem was possessing Riku, he had the double-voice, and he spoke like Ansem, not like Riku. Repliku's behavior is much more like Riku's than Ansem's; he's cocky and volatile, while Ansem-Riku had an air of "untouchability" that would've made Repliku absolutely insufferable as a character.

It's clear that Sora thinks Riku was not in control during KH1. That's why Sora forgives Riku; because he thinks his friend was just another pawn in Xehanort's 5D chess game and had no autonomy throughout KH1. But that's not true. And they're going to have to talk about this.

Sora believed Riku did nothing wrong. Riku believes he did everything wrong. Sora's been trying to ignore the way Riku's words had hurt him - by deflecting the blame from his friend, by not dwelling on the events of KH1.

But with KH4 upcoming - with its focus on Sora and Riku stuck in a fictional world together, and the likelihood that Sora will have to learn to work through his darkness - Sora and Riku will have to discuss this.

And maybe, Sora and Riku will be able to have a true heart-to-heart conversation: no secrets, no lies, no misunderstandings. A KH2 Dark Margin 2.0.

And maybe they'll admit that there is a little bit of homo between them.

[starzshopoflove]

Can I get ghost comfort for someone who doesn't eat because of anxiety?

omg i love this ask so much since i also have bad ass anxiety that beats on me till my meds kick in. Just gonna base this off my own kind behavior with food and eating since i have my own issues too so let me know if this is good or not!!

Notes: no warning, fluff, comfort no hurt, gn!reader

I feel like ghost wouldnt understand it at first and just think your skipping meals or not hungry. So he'd probably be a little pushy at first asking if you've had a snack or not when your together or he'll send you a text randomly in the day if you've eaten or not

But when he starts to notice how you clam up when he asks about it after the first few times he'll shut up and try to watch you a bit to see what's making you not eat. He'll start seeing how sometimes when you're on a date or just at the bookshop for lunch you might pick at your food but not really eat any of it, or how you might only eat some parts of your sandwich and leave the bread off it, sometimes you'll just not eat with him and just be there talking.

When he does finally ask you about it he tries really hard to approach it sensitively since your kinda like a skittish cat in a corner when he has asked before. So you'd be in his flat laying on his couch together and he's keeping you all warm with an arm around your waist rubbing some soothing circles so you stay relaxed while watching whatever show he let you pick.

"Dove"

"Mhm?"

"Do you not like gettin' lunch with me?"

You might freeze up on him and not talk for a moment mulling over if you really wanna tell him or not, you dont usually like talking about it. Whenever you have before people just started teetering around eating with you or acted like you had some sort of issue, treated you like you were just different.

"I like getting lunch with you Si, love getting to spend time with you"

"Yeah but you never eat anythin' with me"

You really wanted to dance around this topic some more but he just felt so warm and smelled so good you were already fused onto the couch at this point. You felt safe with him, like he wasn't going to judge you for trying to be honest with him. The way he let you slot yourself next to him tracing patterns on your skin made your blood a little warmer and your head a little fuzzy

So you finally let yourself spill out your issues hands playing with a strand of your hair that was in your face so you couldn't focus on if he was judging you or not trying not to stumble over your words

"Its not that i don't like eating with you Si, just sometimes when I'm out n I know people can see me eating makes me feel like I'm being watched and all i can think about is how loud im chewing or If i look weird when I'm eating. Then when i start thinking about it, ts' like there's a hole in my stomach and if i try to fill it, might just come right back up. But if I do make myself eat then i have to think about how full I feel n how i can feel the weight of the food in my stomach n once i start thinkin about that i start feelin sick again"

The whole time you let out you meek confession Simon was holding you a little closer loosening his grip so you didn't feel trapped, resting his chin on your head still keeping a warm hand around you to keep you relaxed. He let you speak without cutting you off even when you paused to try to figure out what you feel and put it into words he keep comforting you with his touch and softly nudging you to keep going

"Wish you didn't feel like you had to hide this from me luv, I care about you. Never want you to feel like you're stressin' yourself out for my sake, want you to feel safe with me and tell me when something's bothering you so i can help yeah?'"

Oh my god, whole time you feel like you could cry because he's cooing to you so sweetly and holding you so close not making you feel like you're weird or different from him just because you cant eat sometimes. You might sniffle a little which would make him worried but when he sees its just you getting a little emotional he'll calm down a little and place a kiss on your cheek murmuring about how much he cares and doesn't want you to force yourself to do something you don't like.

Feel like he'd still check to see that you atleast ate something through the day, and instead of doing dates at public places he might pick up some food and you'd eat at either one of yours's flat , sometimes at the park when he knows it wont be crowded either.

Just know he'd sometimes just pick up the fork and feed you when your looking at your food weird letting you know its alright but he'd never push if you resisting too much

__________________________________________

god i love writing soft ghost

[koqabear]

My Life in Your Hands

Song: Cien Años, Natalia Lafourcade, Pepe Aguilar

“The life of a detective hasn’t always been so lonely; you knew how to trust, once. But after being shown the dangers of vulnerability, you choose to keep it safe and focus on more important matters— completing your mission and stopping a certain outlaw that dares open a door you long ago lost the key to.”

criminal!Soobin x detective!reader

Genre: enemies to… reluctant enemies? It’s weird. Mutual pining, angst, smut, he’s a cowboy your honor 

word count: 7.9K

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, guns, death, violence, blood, injuries, pet names (mostly anything with “pretty” in front of it.)

Smut Warnings: no established dom/sub dynamics, they’re just really hurt and angry, marking, possessiveness, dry humping, oral (f receiving), fingering, manhandling, cum eating,  teasing, begging, scratching, multiple orgasms, creampie 

Notes: this turned out so much sadder than I meant it to be?? It was just supposed to be a silly cowboy story, how did I get here… also, the song is really fitting… sad, but fitting. If you’re curious about anything after reading, feel free to ask me on my blog!

The air becomes tense the moment you step into the bar. 

It’s quiet— too quiet, the people seated around you leaning in and whispering secretly as though their conversations were dangerous. The air is foggy and dense with smoke as the customers drink under low lights, eyes shifting from the singer onstage to you, taking your figure in before they’re moving on to the next eye-catching thing. 

This bar is made up of regulars— everyday customers and familiar faces that nod to each other, waving over their favorite waitresses as they ask for another glass of whiskey— and her time, if she’s willing. The sight practically makes you gag, the wooden chair creaking lowly beneath you as you lean back to inspect the place; your hat is low on your head as you slowly scan the room, hyper-aware of every movement that is being made around you.

“How can I help you today ma’am?” The server before you is pretty, her perfectly rouge lips sculpted into an impeccable smile as she flutters her lashes sweetly at you; all you can do is softly dismiss her, asking for a simple glass of water as you try to ignore the confusion on her face. 

“ ‘m just waiting for someone, is all,” your voice is gruff as you find an odd need to clarify your behavior that might seem strange, a slight relief entering your system as you see her brightly nod in understanding before she’s off. 

You’re not here to drink at all, you think somberly, eyes flitting back to the main entrance for just a moment, but you’re not completely lying about waiting for someone. 

Your thoughts are interrupted by the loud arguments that continue to build up to your left, the table next to you suddenly becoming fussy over a game of poker. Yet you pay them no mind, the dull glint of the guns in their holsters giving you more than enough of a warning to not spare them so much as a dirty look. 

“Here you are ma’am,” the waitress says, daintily placing down a glass of water before she’s standing straight, clearing her throat as you barely regard her, “let me know if there’s anything else you need.” 

A nod is all you give her— your attention is much more focused on the young man that enters the bar, quietly slipping in as he makes his way toward you. He’s tall, dressed in black jeans and a black leather jacket that contrasts greatly with the white button-up he wears. His shoes click softly to the beat of the singer’s song, arms lazily swinging by his sides as he reaches up to adjust his pristine, white cowboy hat.

Looking down, you allow your own hat to obscure your view as you feel him walk past you, the slight breeze he leaves behind allowing you to catch a whiff of his cologne— then he’s sitting, the loud screech of the chair against the wooden floor making you wince slightly as he allows himself to get comfortable. 

“Gentlemen,” you hear him say, the sight of him nodding to the same loud patrons from earlier being caught in your peripheral vision. His voice is soft and deep, and it only lowers more as he leans into the table, the rest following along as they begin to discuss a seemingly urgent matter. 

You try to listen in— you really do— but you’re unable to pick up on anything, your teeth gritting together in frustration as it all becomes incoherent mumbling to your ears. But then, you hear it— “reward money.”

You’re practically on the edge of your seat as you look forward, seemingly mesmerized by the woman on stage as your fingers drum along absentmindedly to the music. To any outsider, you’d look entirely drawn in by her performance— but it’s far from that. You think your ears might strain from how hard you attempt to listen in, a frown on your face as you’re only able to pick up on a few keywords; they all mash together until he pulls out a heavy key from his pocket, the sound of it a dull thud against the wooden table.

“Careful now boys,” he scolds, immediately placing a protective hand over it as the others attempt to snatch it away. His fingers are slender and careful as they wrap around the item, slowly picking it up before he’s stashing it away safely in an inner breast pocket— briefly, you allow yourself to steal a glance as your eyes hone in on the sight. 

“I worked mighty hard for that little key you saw there,” he pouts, leaning back in his seat as his arms are crossed over his chest firmly, the thick muscle showing even under the layers and dim lighting, “I think it’s time we discuss my payment.”

“How do we know you’re not cheatin’ us?” A man chimes in, a frown on his face as he leans on his elbows, “for all we know, that key could be a fake.”

“A fake?” The man scoffs, laughing softly as his brows raise in bewilderment, “you know I’d never do that you guys.” 

His words begin to become drowned out in your mind, much more focused instead on how you’re going to take that key away from them— and leave in one piece, of course. 

There are five of them now, you calculate, sparing a glance to the rest of the bar, no doubt that there are more of Yeonjun’s goons lying around as well. 

It’s surprising to see that the leader of his own gang isn’t present to take charge of the transaction, but you’re sure that he’s found other ways to entertain himself— briefly, your eyes wander back to the bar and its excess of pretty women; you grimace at your thoughts and its implications. 

Instead, his right-hand man seems to be present in his place— though, you’ve always thought Hueningkai had too much of a short temper to be a proper leader. Even now, your theory proves to be true, the young man glaring daggers at the sly man before them, clearly doubting every word he’s told as his posture remains stiff. 

“Come on now, you know Yeonjun wouldn’t have approved of this if he couldn’t trust me,” the man says, tipping back his hat as his narrowed eyes come into the light, “Why don’t you just give me the money now and hunt me down later if it makes you feel better.” 

You’re in disbelief that this man would be willing to give up this key so easily— whatever they’re offering, it must be more than enough.

There’s not a price that compares to what he has in his pocket, you think, just as suspicious as the substitute leader as you try not to glance back at the table again, it would be foolish to give it up now. 

That key could guarantee an easy life— the key to a hidden vault, filled to the brim with gold and smuggled treasures from the fortune of one of the greatest leaders that ever hit the underground crime scene; The late Kim Namjoon would be fuming if he knew it managed to slip out of his unknown heir’s hands. 

Then again, many speculate that it wasn’t a simple key that would open this vault— he was a great mind after all, and Kim Namjoon would not let such a flimsy security measure stick; it is rumored that the key that is currently slid across that wooden table is only the first step to acquiring the fortune. 

Your job is to see if that rumor proves to be true. 

The sound of a heavy briefcase brings you out of your daze— the recipient doesn’t even bother peering inside as a wide grin is spread across his face, thanking them as they all stand to leave; he doesn’t stand with them, bidding them goodbye and safe travels as he eagerly waves them away— it is silent, save for the sound of his whiskey glass hitting the table after he downed it; clicking his tongue, he sighs.

“Pretty lady, whatcha thinkin’ bout over there?”

His loud call doesn’t phase you; your fingernails dig into the wood as you trace shapes on it, not bothering to look at the sound of a chair being dragged against the wood. Slow, calculated steps come closer to you, and the thud of his briefcase comes first before the thud of his body falling into the chair. 

“Couldn’t solve the puzzle,” you pause, looking up as you catch the way the man’s smile widens as your eyes meet his, “Soobin?”

“Oh please,” he says, tilting his head as he leans forward, hand on his chin as he takes your appearance in, “you know all their brains put together couldn’t even amount to half of mine.” 

You roll your eyes at the thought— he’s as narcissistic as always.

“Too much work then?” You muse, pouting as a finger circles the rim of your glass mindlessly, “you gave it up so easily.”

“You hurt me, pretty girl,” Soobin says, a pout to match yours gracing his lips as he shakes his head, “you’ve always been one to underestimate me.”

“What is it, then?” You say, your voice hardening as you attempt to come up with reasoning for his actions, “what number could they have possibly given you that made you give up that key?” 

He tuts at your tone of voice— completely dismissive of the glare you fix him, he clicks his tongue as he feigns getting lost in thought; it isn’t long before a fiendish smile sneaks onto his lips. 

“There isn’t a price in the world that would make me hand that key over,” he says, leaning in so close that you think he might just pounce at you— but he doesn’t, sending you a wink instead, “Now I have to go before the chase begins.”

He’s taking off before you know it— the suitcase is left behind, and you’re out of your seat before you can second guess yourself. You kick the suitcase open— there’s nothing but paper in there. 

It was a setup. 

The absence of music is suddenly much more apparent to you— there are no workers around, and the silence is quickly filled by the bullets that come your way; the chair beside you breaks to pieces from the impact of the stray shots. 

You’re quick to flip the table on its side— even quicker to run away, only able to take down a few of Yeonjun’s men before you’re running out of bullets, the rest of the patrons much more involved as they partake in the fight that breaks out. The calming music that once filled the air is now replaced by bullets and the dull thuds of bodies falling around you; the familiar bark of Yeonjun’s voice reaches your ears, followed by hurried footsteps and mumbles of Soobin’s and your names. 

“That fuckin’ detective got some real guts, showin’ up and sittin’ beside us like that,” Yeonjun grits out, kicking away any obstacles as he continues his search, firing at every person that attempts to reach for their weapon and aim it at him.

“I know you’re still here, detective!” Yeonjun yells, fuming as he steps on the bullet wound of a patron— the scream of agony echoes throughout the place as you wince at the sound, “come out now and I’ll go easy on you!”

The only other exit is behind the bar in the employee’s lounge— and by now you’ve crawled your way into some random nook that you can feel your limbs beginning to tense, your teeth sinking into your tongue as you try to ignore the pool of blood from a nearby body that is slowly inching towards you.

“We could work together, even!” He muses, eyeing the place as he signals for his people to leave— he’s attempting to convince you, trying to make you feel more secure as the sight of an equal match could lower your guard. 

“We’re both after the same thing, right?” He says, spinning his gun before he’s firing off into some unknown hiding spot— the shot rings a long closer than you’d like, and you’re barely able to pick up on the offhanded oops that Yeonjun lets out. 

“I knew Soobin would cross me,” he sneers, firing again as he makes his way around the bar, “yet I still gave him the benefit of the doubt— sneaky little thing, that one.” 

Slowly, he makes his way to the center of the bar; he stops, surveying the area for any other places you might be. 

“I know how hard you’ve been workin’ to catch him— to catch both of us. How bout this,” he clicks his tongue, staring down at the barrel of his gun before he’s aiming it again, “work with me, and we’ll catch him— together! I’ll let you take all the credit for his capture… and you let a couple of my things slide under the table.” 

The shot is fired— the sound that rips through you is uncontrollable, the bullet that lodges itself in your bicep catching you off guard as you break the skin of your lip. Your attempt to put pressure on the wound is futile, and your mind is racing to find a way to escape. Looking up, you find that Yeonjun is already looming over you.

“There you are, cutie.”

 You flinch at the sight of him kicking away the debris that hid you so well; his foot stomps down, your eyes shutting instinctively as the blood of someone unknown splashes onto your face— the feeling makes you want to gag.

But you hold it all back as you’re being pulled up roughly, a weak groan leaving you as Yeonjun’s fingers dig into your wound— your mind is spinning so quickly that you’re helpless against the way he slams you against the wall, your cheek pressed against it as he restrains you.

“Quite the offer I put up, hmm?” He says, grabbing a fistful of your hair as he’s forcing you to look at him, “I’d take it if I were you.”

You don’t respond to his words; you know better than to make a deal with Yeonjun, but you’d rather have him think he’s got the upper hand while you wait for a vulnerable moment to appear. 

“Tempting,” you remark, frowning at the way his grip becomes bruising on your arm, “if I were as power-hungry as you.” 

“You’re quite the mean little thing, aren’t you?” He sighs, and your head is roughly pressed against the wall once more, “see, if we’re gonna work together, I don’t think I’d be able to put up with all that— that is of course unless you’d like to die instead.” 

The barrel of his gun is cool against your skin— slowly, the hammer of his revolver is pulled, and the glint in his eyes is unmistakable as he appears in your peripheral vision. 

“I know how fond you’ve been getting of our little friend,” he pouts, a mocking tone to his voice as he leans against you, “but I’d advise you to choose wisely here.” 

You’re trapped— he’s got you, and good, Yeonjun knows this— you see the way he grins at you, waiting patiently for you to decide as the pressure on your temple slowly begins to become worse; the innocent smile he sends you as you glare back at him does nothing to make you feel better. 

What other choice do you have? There’s nothing good that can come out of making a deal with Yeonjun, but you’ve come too far to give it all up now— shakily, you clear your throat, trying to find the words that only seem lodged in your throat. 

Yet, it seems to be your lucky day. 

The pressure at your temple is lifted as Yeonjun groans in pain, the shot still ringing throughout the bar as you take this moment to run, kicking his gun away before you do— and without realizing it, you effortlessly make your way to Soobin’s open arms. 

“Can’t believe you would trade me in like that,” you pay no mind to the way his arm wraps around yours protectively, attempting to shrug him off before he’s pulling you back to him. 

“If you go out now, you’ll die. There’s too many of them out there for you to go like that,” He hisses into your ear, leading you to the back exit and tucking you under his frame as he crouches down low, “just follow me.” 

You’re given no choice with the way your blood is beginning to seep through the cracks of your fingers— you need to get it treated, and fast. The sounds of Yeonjun’s men storming in is enough to have you urging Soobin to hurry, the two of you slipping out from the back and into the night sky. 

It’s foggy and humid as the pavement beneath you is still wet from the rainfall, and you’re far too surprised the moment that Soobin forces the two of you to take off into a sprint— quietly sneaking behind buildings and homes of those who are peacefully asleep. 

“Did you come here on foot?!” You hiss, your arm beginning to take a toll on you as your energy begins to seep out— you can hear the familiar clammer of hooves on the streets as Yeonjun’s people begin their search, only half the size as the others were left to protect their leader. 

“Of course not,” Soobin scoffs, and it isn’t long before you spot a horse tied to the post of a closed shop, “Just stationed myself at a safer distance.” 

The horse is sleek and taken care of— all of its equipment is pristine and expensive as Soobin assists you on, ignoring your protests and groans of pain as he scoots up closer behind you. 

“Grab on tight, pretty thing,” he says, gripping onto the reins as his thighs close around yours, “might be a bit of a bumpy ride.”

You don’t get another chance to adjust before he’s taking off, your body pressed against his as you feel the exhaustion of it all begin to take a toll on you. Your shirt is soaked and sticky— yet the pain has dulled down significantly as you fight to stay alert, unsure of what Soobin is planning as you race down empty, lonelier streets. 

The homes slowly become sparse— before you know it, you’re surrounded by trees, the terrain switching from pavement to the unstable grounds of the forest. The ride could almost be considered calming— that is, until a sudden gunshot has your eyes snapping wide open, stiffening up against Soobin’s chest as he commands his horse to go faster. 

“Stupid fucker found us,” Soobin grits, glancing back at the single person who managed to keep track of Soobin and your whereabouts. His shots are getting increasingly closer, and Soobin’s horse can only go so fast— before you can stop yourself, you’re reaching at his hip with your uninjured arm, taking the gun from his holster before you’re twisting dangerously to face back. 

“Hey, hey!” The sound of a gun being fired so close to his ear has Soobin losing control of his horse for a second, sending you a glare that would immediately make anyone wilt. But you ignore it, stretching out your good arm as you attempt to fire at the person chasing you once more, “watch it, are you crazy? You’re gonna fall!” 

You’re practically ready to slip off with the way you’re forced to twist around, Soobin’s arm flying to secure itself on your waist as you two go over a rocky spot— the sudden movement makes you wince as you miss another shot.

“I don’t have infinite bullets either now!” He says, sneaking a glance back before he’s back to rushing his horse, “you better aim right if you’re gonna hit him!” 

“I’m trying!” You bark, gritting your teeth at his insults, “it’d help a lot if you’d shut up!”

You can tell he’s getting ready to say something— but he holds back, cursing under his breath as his grip on your waist secures. Slowly, you take a deep breath; it’s hard to spot your target in such a dark forest, but as you attempt to take a moment to concentrate, you’re finally able to get a clear shot— the relief that floods through you is unexpected as you slump against Soobin’s hold.

“Easy there, don’t go all soft on me either,” he says, twisting you back around before he’s caging you in; he feels warm, the feeling oddly welcomed as exhaustion threatens to creep up on you. Attempting to fight it back, you find it to be much more persistent than before— which is why you feel a tinge of panic when your eyelids become uncontrollably heavy. 

“Just a little bit more,” you hear Soobin say, his voice a muffled mess to your ears, “I’ll patch you up then.”

With the ride much calmer than it was moments ago, you finally find it in yourself to rest. 

✩ ☆ ✩

“Here, slowly,” Soobin’s bed is soft as he slowly guides you down on it, attempting to ignore the way you wince in pain from the awkward angle your arm remains in. He quickly leaves to get supplies to patch you up, and you take a moment to regain your composure. 

It’s strange— his home is cozy, well-decorated, and clearly used a lot. For someone like him, you’d expect something more barren; he has no pictures, no true personal touches that could link this small cabin to him— but it’s intimate nonetheless, the smell of him filling the air and mixing in with the faint scent of a candle that sits at his nightstand. 

You don’t get much of a chance to look around as Soobin quickly returns— his jacket and hat have been discarded, and you take in his appearance as you wince at the state of his white button-up; now coated red on the right side with your blood. Meeting his eyes, you frown— his dyed hair is ruffled messily as he lays down his supplies next to you, placing down a short stool before he’s sitting down in front of you, knees knocking your legs open carelessly as he situates himself between them.

“Your shirt— here, let me…” Slowly, he moves to cut the sleeve for better access; you stop him midway, your uninjured hand hesitantly reaching for the buttons of your shirt instead. 

You really don’t have to, you hear him mumble, slightly panicked, but you shake your head, knowing it’d be much easier for you to take the item off than to have him struggle with the fabric around your injury. It’s quiet, your eyes much more focused on a point behind him as you carefully shrug off your sullied shirt— he’s quick to assist you, his gentle hands brushing against the warm skin of your shoulders as he places the shirt to the side. 

Shakily, your eyes meet his; his eyes are focused as they take in the state of your wound, brows furrowed and his lip caught in his teeth as he winces at how messy the injury has become. It’s oddly tense— you haven’t been this close to Soobin in a long time, quiet and vulnerable as you allow him to take care of you. 

Sweat begins to bead on your skin as he begins to take a hold of your arm, examining the wound once more before he begins the process of trying to take the bullet out— a small warning is all you get before he offhandedly points at a pillow nearby for you to hold onto. 

Instead, your hand immediately finds purchase on his thigh— it’s instinctive, and you don’t stop to gauge his reaction as your fingers hold on desperately, gritting your teeth as you bear the uncomfortable feeling of Soobin taking out the bullet.

It’s quiet, but you can hear soft words of praise and reassurance fall from his lips, kind words that serve to encourage you as he finally takes the small bullet out; the piece is carefully put onto a tissue that is left to be discarded. You attempt to remain silent as he cleans your injury, clearing off the dried blood that ran down your arm as he softly brushes the wet cloth against your skin. It isn’t until you’re all clean that he begins to apply alcohol to it as well. 

“Shit— sorry,” you grit, startled by the sudden sting as he immediately pulls away, whispering an apology of his own before hesitantly tending to you again. After a moment, your body becomes relaxed in his hold once more, allowing him to gain the confidence to tend to you freely again. 

The stitches don’t feel too bad; he’s awful skilled, the action quick and effortless as you keep quiet through it all, the feeling of the gauze wrapping around your bicep and applying subtle pressure to your wound finally giving you the relief you didn’t know you needed. 

Soobin looks more at ease as well— and before you can pick up on what he’s doing, he’s taking your uninjured hand gingerly, his fingers delicate as he holds onto your wrist lightly. The cloth in his hand is warm as he wipes you with it, thoroughly taking each of your fingers as he wipes off all the blood that managed to cake on; then, it slowly moves up to your face, cleaning off the blood of someone unknown as your eyes meet Soobin’s; your lips part as you stare at him, unsure of what to do as he remains concentrated on his task.

He looks so different from before— there’s a heavy look in his eyes, as though the life he’s lived has been filling itself with nothing but regrets. And as you take in the way his hand lingers, carefully caressing your cheek, you wonder bitterly if this was one of them.

“Why are you doing all this?” You ask, your voice much softer than you expected it to be— there’s no more energy to be malicious to him, only exhaustion and a burning curiosity left in you as you watch him hesitate to answer. 

“I couldn’t let them take you like that,” he says, a frown settling on his features as he slowly pulls away— the absence of his touch feels jarring, your hand curling into a fist as you listen to him speak, “they would’ve used you to get what they wanted from me.”

“What, too scared that I would’ve caught you?” You quip, oddly angered that even now, all he can think of is himself. You don’t know why the words feel so poisonous on your tongue, the anger that ignites inside you only stirring more as you watch the way he becomes angered by your accusation. 

“They would have a hold of my greatest weakness,” he grits out, as though admiring it aloud brings him another wave of anger. His eyes stare at the tight fist that rests on your thigh— then they meet yours, narrowed and pointed as his lips turn down in distaste.

“You.” 

The word feels like a punch to the stomach— you can feel the air leave your lungs as you stare at him, unsure of what to make out of his words as he stares at you with that same fire in his eyes, a fire that is unwilling to back down on his claim.

His greatest weakness— you. And he would be damned if he let Yeonjun of all people lay their hands on you, free to do as they pleased as they used you for leverage— or worse, used you to kill him. 

“Stop spouting nonsense,” you say, an unknown rage blooming within you as he regards you with such a fire, “you showed me just how much you cared the day you turned your back to our work and all we stood for.”

The memory is enough to leave a bitter taste on your tongue; you can tell the mention of it is enough to have him back down like a wounded puppy, unsure of how to respond to that. 

You trusted Soobin, once— and you learned your lesson when he pushed you out of his life, turning to a life of shadows as your partner you once trusted your life with became no better than the everyday criminals you went after. The humiliation of it all set deep into your bones— a deep grudge that reared its head even now, when Soobin seemed to be ready to come back to ask for forgiveness. 

“___,” the sound of your name on his lips is bittersweet. His effect on you is unrivaled, a fact you wish wasn’t true as you attempt to hide the way the sound sends electric shocks through you. He’s somber, his eyes searching yours in hopes of breaking through and finding an emotion akin to his, “you have no idea how much I cared.” 

“I have full access to the vault.” His words clear your mind out effortlessly, “I’m the heir.”

The heir to the fortune— the new leader of the crime syndicate Kim Namjoon spent years building up under the shadows. The man before you was not who he claimed to be— he never was. Hesitantly, he takes your hand— he’s shaky, fingers lacing with yours as he leans into you, long legs knocking against yours as the space he made for yourself becomes wider. There’s a new emotion that coats his face, free and unadulterated as he looks deeply into your eyes.

“Join me.” His words are breathy as you stare at him, confused, angry, hesitant. “You’ll never have to worry about anything again— I could care for you.”  

Your hand feels like fire in his— you pull away like you’ve been burned, disbelief on your face as Soobin stares at you like a scolded child, doe eyes soft and shining under the soft lights of the lamp on his nightstand. 

“I—“ it’s hard to speak— why is it so hard? The words are stuck on your tongue as you stare at him, the man you cared for so deeply, offering a chance to start over. A chance you’ve dreamed about since the day he disappeared from you, a chance that you never allowed yourself to properly hope for, and it’s finally being presented to you.

“I can’t.” 

Soobin knew your answer before he asked— there was never any other option for you. But the pain, the confusion you feel building within you is much more unexpected, your mind fogging as the reality of it all begins to set in. 

“This whole time…” you begin, brows furrowed as the conflicting emotions form a torrent within you, wild and uncontrollable as your mouth enables them to be let loose. 

“You knew everything. What his group was doing, where he was, how to catch him—“ your eyes flick back to his, wounded and sharp in hopes of getting him to the same level as you, “you knew it all. Yet you lied in my face, led me on whenever I thought we finally had a lead.” 

“And yet you beg me to believe that you still care for me?” 

He shakes his head, reluctant to give up as he attempts to reassure you again. 

“I’m sorry— I wasn’t in control of my life back then. I never meant to hurt you,” his attempts to dissuade your feelings are futile, for his claims do nothing but egg you on even more. 

“The moment I leave this cabin,” you growl, glaring at him as you speak, “we will be nothing more but enemies. Forget everything about me. You’ll become my one target from this moment on.” 

A new resolve has formed on your face— Soobin knows you’ll never hate him more than you do now. 

“Your life will be in my hands.”

“The moment you leave this cabin…” he whispers, determined to see you crack, for even a small moment longer, “I will no longer hold back on you. My sweet killer…” 

He’s so close— why would you let him get so close? His lips are practically brushing against yours, eyes lidded and low as he leans towards you, your head tilted down as his puppy eyes continue to shine, even now. 

“Give me one last memory to keep of you.” 

The feeling of your lips crashing against his is unexpected; but the anger inside you is too hot, too rapid for you to simply leave like this. You’ve lived your life filled with regrets— what’s one more going to do to you?

Soobin’s hum of surprise is muffled by your kiss that threatens to take him whole— your yearning, so eager and greedy, is like a switch to him; he’s chasing after you, leaning into your touch desperately as his hands meet the skin of your bare waist. His touch leaves a trail of fire, caressing and smoothing out the skin as he feels every scar, sees every bruise, any detail that he might be able to ingrain into his mind. 

Your back sinks into the mattress— you’re unsure of when Soobin decided to become so greedy, the kiss rough as he allows himself to bite at your lip, his hair soft against your face as a trail of kisses and marks are left along the column of your neck. His touch will be left for weeks to come— he’s determined to make it so, determined to make you have to face your reflection and the memory of him, the memory of his want for you. 

Tangled limbs, pressure against your body— the act is messy and desperate as Soobin has half the mind to leave your injured arm as undisturbed as possible, supporting his weight on one arm as he allows the other to explore your body; trailing up your waist, fingers tracing along the expanse of your chest, ready to take your bra off with ease. Your hand is careless as it rips away his buttons, desperate to have him the same way he has you. 

His chest is smooth and sturdy— his muscles are firm under your touch, honey skin littered with bruises and scars that have your fingertips tracing along them, briefly wondering what stories might belong with them, the memories he carries engraved within him. 

His hips are slotted desperately between yours; you didn’t realize how he was able to get into such a position so easily, his hand already venturing from your breasts to cup your face, hovering above you as he whispers to you, his voice breathy and sultry that it takes effort to listen to what he says. 

“I’ve wanted to have you like this longer than I can remember,” he says, his eyes meeting yours and conveying words his mouth refuses to speak. Close. Needy. Vulnerable. “It hurts to think that I’ll be losing you again after this.” 

If you had any fight with his words, it died the moment his hips rolled firmly into yours. The breath that escapes him is shaky and labored, and he’s unable to control himself as he finds his mind loosening, words spilling beyond his comprehension as the pressure of his body against yours makes you rock back into him. 

“I’ll be damned if I ever let Yeonjun have you like this,” he says, fingers digging into your hips as his thrusts become harsh, uncalculated, and desperate, “I would’ve killed him.”

A small groan leaves your mouth at that— his eyes that once sparkled under the light, pleading for forgiveness, hardened into something foreign, wild and needy as he took what he could from you, the feeling of him hard and pulsing against you making your head fog with need.

Adjusting his position, he stands— you feel your body moving along with him, hips dangling dangerously over the bed as he holds you there, hands already working to get your pants undone.

“What makes you think he would’ve done any of that?” You ask, breathless as his sharp eyes meet yours, filled with an emotion you hesitate to pinpoint. 

“That man would fuck anything that moves,” Soobin growls, your body bare before him as he begins to kneel, your legs thrown over his shoulders carelessly as you gulp at the action, “I can’t imagine what he’d do to a pretty thing like you.”

He’s good at rendering you speechless— that is, if his mouth sucking firmly on your clit had anything to do with it. He’s desperate, eager to have you fall apart on his tongue as he feels your body jolt at the stimulation, a hand grabbing at his hair to bring him closer still. 

His fingers that slip through your entrance has your mouth falling open and your eyes fluttering shut, a small whimper slipping out of you as he groans, his mind reeling at the feeling of your walls fluttering around him, pulling him in and asking for more. 

Soobin can’t help but wonder how you would feel wrapped around his cock, your arousal like an aphrodisiac to him as he finds himself growing needier, tongue messily laving at your clit as his fingers speed up the process, thick and long as a third soon finds its way inside. 

Your body is tensing quickly; the pleasure is overwhelming, the sight of having Soobin kneeling before you, desperate and lost in your pleasure as his eyes flutter open, meeting yours boldly has your thighs squeezing around his head uncontrollably. Your hips are left in his control as his hands grip onto them tightly, forcing you into him even more as his warm lips wrap around your clit once more, sucking and tongue flicking at the bud in hopes of feeling you fall apart in his hold. 

Unexpectedly, his name leaves your lips; it’s a sweet mewl that has him painfully aware of how hard he’s become, the bulge constricting against the fabric of his pants as he can only listen to the sweet sounds you make—and hope that he’ll have you coming apart on his cock soon as well. 

Your hips buck against his face mindlessly— it’s too much, yet not enough, his fingers thrusting roughly and curling to hit that spot that makes you see stars. The pleasure is hot and blinding as you feel it beginning to build up, your mouth agape as moans and cries to keep going cascade through you like a waterfall. 

His name becomes a prayer on your lips. Soobin. Soobin, please, you whimper, your good hand reaching down to tangle itself into his hair once more. His touch is addictive, and before you can realize what’s happening, you’re coming undone, his pace never faltering as he allows you to ride it out, your hips rolling carelessly on his face. 

You’re left a panting and weak mess in Soobin’s hold, your head sinking back into the mattress as you feel his fingers slowly slip out of you— a weak whine escapes you as his tongue cleans you up, running along your slit and teasing your entrance before he’s parting from you. Your head tilts as your eyes meet his, his eyes blown out and filled with lust as his tongue and lips slowly wrap around his fingers— cleaning your essence off it slowly, your mind swirling at the sight as you quickly find your pussy clenching desperately against nothing. 

 “My pretty girl,” he sighs out, his fingers making quick work of undoing his jeans, “you have no idea how badly I wanted to take you with me all this time. Years ago, throughout all this time, even today.”

He’s painfully hard as his cock finally springs into view— his hand is quick to wrap around it, his tip leaking and flushed as a thumb runs over it; his body jolts at the feeling, slowly fucking into his fist as his eyes don’t leave yours for a second. 

“Why didn’t you?” You breathe out, legs locking around his waist and pulling him eagerly. Your thighs are so warm and soft around him, his tip teasing your entrance as he fucks himself against your pussy, never pushing through enough to enter you. He can feel your wetness coating him, fogging his mind as his own arousal mixes with yours, the sight so dirty and desperate that he feels his hips buck in need. 

“I don’t know. I should’ve begged you for forgiveness the moment I first saw you,” his words, you realize, are genuine— your lidded eyes clear for a moment, and the conflicting emotions from before attempt to rear their head once more. You gulp, words dying on your tongue as his tip begins to prod at your entrance. 

“Beg for it now. Apologize,” you breathe out, a hand placing itself over his as his head snaps up to meet your gaze. Your nails dig into his forearm as your thighs lock around him, your gaze angry and demanding as you roll your hips into him in frustration, “since you seem so desperate for me.” 

His gaze softens— hesitantly, his lips part, tongue running over them as his tip finally breaches inside you. The stretch is unexpected, your walls immediately closing around him and attempting to pull him in as he subtly leans towards you. 

“I’m sorry.” 

Your arm slides from his forearm to his bicep— you’re pulling him in, his other arm coming down to support his weight as he leans over you. This is only the beginning, your eyes say, sharp and narrowed as you prompt him to continue. 

“I’m sorry,” he repeats, slowly pushing inside you as he stops to allow you to feel every vein, every detail, rubbing along your warm walls and curving as his hips buck unintentionally. 

“I was a fool to leave you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since,” it’s sincere, you can see it in the way his expression furrows as he continues talking, frustration laced in his voice as his hips finally meet yours, pressing firmly as he bottoms out. 

Your fingers dig into the skin of his bicep— roughly, you pull him down, his face hovering above yours, dangerously closer as you watch his adam’s apple bob nervously. You don’t have to say anything— the fire in your eyes is more than enough for him, the room silent save for the sounds of your breaths that intertwine as his hips slowly begin to move, barely pulling out as he relishes in the feeling of being inside you. 

“I’m terrified of losing you again,” he admits, his confession shifting into unknown territories as his mind fogs up once more, “I’m sorry I couldn’t face you sooner.”

You say nothing— all you can do is scan his expression, his eyes that are lidded and filled with so many dangerous emotions. In response, your fingers tangle themselves in his hair— bringing him down to you as your lips meet him in a hungry kiss. 

His hips don’t hesitate to pick up the pace; the feeling of you clenching around him is driving him mad, his cock managing to hit a spot that has your mouth falling open, lips left victim to Soobin’s teasing bites, the feeling of his teeth sinking into the bottom flesh making you whimper uselessly against him.

He may be the one that’s pounding into you restlessly, leaving your mind blank and his name on your tongue, but you’re the one that truly has him intoxicated. He wants to feel you, all of you, your chest that rubs against his driving him mad as he becomes hyper-aware of how much he can feel you against him. You’re practically sinking into the bed with the force he drives himself into you, skin slapping against skin and his pelvis smacking against yours as your arousal only increases with every action. 

He’s wrapped tightly around your finger, and the last thing he wants to do is let go. 

“___,” your name is like honey on his lips, the sound of it rolling off his tongue so effortlessly that he can’t help but find himself saying it again, and again, a mantra of his own as he feels the way you recklessly fuck back into him, nails digging into his shoulder before they’re scratching down his back— the stinging sensation that’s left behind only serves to spur him on, the thought of having your scars on his body for days to come driving him mad. 

“I don’t want you to think of anyone else,” he says, breathless against you as your arm throws itself over his shoulders, fingers tangling themselves in his hair as you bury your face in the crook of his neck. 

“Think of me every time you look at yourself in the mirror, when you see the places I touched,” his hand trails down to your hip, fingers squeezing the supple flesh before it moves to circle your clit, your legs tightening against him before you're bucking your hips wildly, “when you touch yourself, wish it were me that was there for you.“

“No one will ever be able to care for you like I do.”

His cock is abusive against the spot that drives you wild. It reaches it with ease, hitting it thrust after thrust. One, twice, three times. Then you’re coming undone, a weak whimper all you can manage as you wrap around him like a vice. It’s enough to set him off as well, a soft groan escaping him as his hips struggle to keep a proper rhythm. Your bodies move together in harmony regardless, riding out each other’s highs as the warm feeling of his cum fills you, never-ending as it slowly begins to leak out before he’s fucking it back into you.

It’s silent, and neither of you can muster anything to say as you’re both catching your breath; Soobin’s face quickly buries itself into your neck, his lips ghosting along your skin as he speaks. 

“Stay,” he pleads, arms slowly circling your waist before you’re pulled into him, warm and secure in his hold. “Just for tonight. Stay a while longer.”

Softly, his head moves along your shoulder, his hair feather-like as it brushes against you. His lips graze a trail along, leaving a gentle kiss on the shoulder of your injured arm. 

“After tonight,” you breathe out, your hand traitorous as it caresses his scalp gently, the memories of your past and your moments together reviving a dangerous feeling, “I’ll forget everything about you— we’ll be nothing more than enemies.”

Softly, Soobin nods; his gaze never meets yours, the two of you adjusting in his bed as he allows you to rest on his chest. You’re a pile of tangled limbs, hearts beating in one as you wonder if you could’ve had this years ago, free of complicated emotions and regrets. 

“If I am to die by anyone’s hands, it will only be yours,” he says, hand encasing yours as he brings it to rest over his heart. “Promise me it will be so.” 

A game of death— you’ve always been incredible at your job, and there hasn’t been a single mission you haven’t completed. But, feeling him under your palm, warm and beating for you, you find the words stuck in your throat for a moment. 

“I promise.”

The cabin falls into complete silence as the feeling of you finally in his arms lulls Soobin into a deep sleep; he’ll think of this night for years to come, if he’s able to.

His words are nothing but a lie— he’ll never be able to forget you. 

And after tonight, neither will you. 

[milkywayhou]

You've Got Email (König x OC: Medical Student!Snow) PART III

Summary: When the Colonel from some Private Military Corporation group accidentally send KorTac's secret file via email to a random civilian girl and now they develop some weird relationship.

or

Snow now overthinking about how fucked up her situation can be

TWs: Slow burn (not really), Implies stalking behavior. I just wrote this for fun.

Words Count: 1.9k (The email contain 1.3+ words while the rest was Snow's 4Chan post)

----

From: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

To: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

05/13/23 at 01:38 am

Subject: A late night conspiracy ramble…

Hey!

Once again it’s a late night and these weary med student brain cells are firing off all kinds of…interesting theories and connections, to say the least.

For example, okay hear me out, but what if Big Pharma is actually run by ancient shape-shifting lizard people from the center of the hollow earth who feed on human adrenal gland fluid harvested during rituals conducted at Bohemian Grove, and they started the pharmaceutical industry just to get us all addicted to medication so we’re docile little cash cows?!

I know, I know, it’s utterly ridiculous…buuuuut it would explain a few things haha! Anyways, somehow my winding thought process led me back to pondering your own doubtless intriguing backstory, oh mysterious Colonel.

You’ve given mysterious snippets here and there, but never a straight history lesson, you sly dog. Care to unravel some of those shadows for this thirsty student? Like how’d you get into this line of work anyway?

Maybe share something to take my mind off lizard people conspiracies before this insomnia kills me. You’ve got me curious now!

Conspiracizing but also bedridden,

Snow

----

From: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

To: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

05/13/23 at 02:01 am

Subject: RE: A late night conspiracy ramble…

You’ve a vivid imagination, to be sure. As for my own history…it’s nothing so fanciful, I’m afraid.

I grew up isolated, with only books as company. Social skills proved…challenging. The bullying was constant. All I wanted was to disappear into the quiet of nature, far from the incessant noise inside my head.

By 17 I was desperate to escape, and the military offered just that. I dreamed of being a sniper – controlling chaos from afar through calm precision. But my frame and restlessness didn’t suit remaining still for long. They saw potential elsewhere. They assigned as an insertion specialist instead. It was difficult, but taught discipline. In time I learned to turn noise into focus, chaos into strategy.

Now I protect others as I wished to be protected then. It brings…solace, of a kind. Purpose, where once was only turmoil.

Get some rest, Snow. Sweet dreams.

König

----

From: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

To: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

05/13/23 at 02:14 am

Subject: RE: RE: A late night conspiracy ramble…

I see.

Thank you for sharing that with me. I can’t imagine how difficult those experiences must have been, but I’m grateful you found your calling in spite of them. It takes real strength of character to turn trauma into purpose like that.

Also, I should say the bullying says far more about their weakness of spirit than anything about you. Their loss, as it brought you to where you’re meant to be – helping people in your own way. I can’t help but smile thinking of a tiny bookworm König dreaming of sniping lizards in the woods! Well, you may not be in the trees anymore but it seems your aim is truer than ever.

Thinking on childhoods, mine wasn’t all sunshine either as an awkward kid. Let’s just say blending in was…challenging, to put it lightly. Between moving a lot after my parents split and living with various relatives, school was an escape into study. Seemed the safest route to gain some footing and make the family proud, at least. Kept me busy avoiding the realities outside books for a while too, I suppose. Somehow I suspect lonely bookworm me and you may have gotten along splendidly if our paths crossed back then!

Anyways, not sure where I’m going with this aside from reflecting our younger selves may have found solace in one another, strange as that sounds now in these roles. At least we’ve come into our own in the end, in our own ways. Small favors and all that.

Just a light note before sleep – rest well, König!

Your friend,

Snow

----

From: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

To: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

05/28/23 at 08:27 pm

Subject: Essay Woes and Cadaver Flashbacks

Ugh,

My apologies for this incoherent word vomit you’re about to endure. I’m approximately 5-7 days into an all-nighter essay crunch and my last two brain cells are DANCING.

This final assignment is killing me dead but at least after it’s over I can finally be done with med school! *insert jubilant celebration emoji* Of course that’s if I don’t starve to death first living off instant ramen. I’m positively wasting away without a decent meal. At this rate they’ll be teaching anatomy lectures using my lifeless body.

Whoever invents a magic food delivery service that beams freshly cooked meals directly to overworked students is getting a freaking Nobel Prize. A girl can dream, right? At this point I’d kill a man for a good pizza. *hideshypotheticalmurderweaponbehindback*

Anyways, in my spiral of delirium my thoughts keep wandering back to that fateful day months ago when I randomly received your classified KorTac email out of nowhere. Still bewildered how you even had my address to begin with…were you watching me, Colonel? *pretends to be frightened but is secretlyflattered*

Getting that file was kinda scary at first, not gonna lie. Reminded me of the first time we received our cadavers – that creepy feeling of being watched even after leaving the lab. Is that what it’s like being you, always paranoid someone has intel on you? :)

Anyways, enough gibbering – just wanted to share my pain and also wonder again how our wacky email friendship began! Stay safe out there in whatever shady places your work takes you. And send help – I mean, good luck with all the classified stuff!

Tired and Hangry,

Snow

----

From: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

To: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

05/28/23 at 08:40 pm

Subject: WHAT DID YOU DO

KÖNIG I SWEAR TO GOD

I LITERALLY JUST GOT A DELIVERY AT MY DOOR. IT WAS PIZZA AND IT WAS ALREADY PAID FOR

DUDE TELL ME YOU DIDN’T HACK INTO MY LOCATION OR SOME SHIT. HOW DO YOU KNOW WHERE I LIVE??

I’M FREAKING OUT A LITTLE NOT GONNA LIE. I KNOW YOU HAVE ACCESS TO SHADY TECH BUT PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN’T TRACK ME DOWN

I was joking in my last email! Sort of! Please say this was all just a coincidence. I don’t need some extra secret stalker on top of everything else ;____;

Explain yourself soldier man!!! My paranoia can only be quelled with answers.

Sending mildly panicked regards,

Snow

----

From: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

To: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

05/28/23 at 09:12 pm

Subject: RE: WHAT DID YOU DO

Snow,

I assure you, any capabilities related to surveillance are reserved strictly for operations.

As for your delivery, consider it a small kindness from one overworked soul to another. Now eat, regain strength, and get back to that essay. You’ve proven quite resourceful in pulling secrets from shadows. But some mysteries deserve to remain.

Worry not and carry on with your studies.

König

----

From: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

To: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

05/28/23 at 09:25 pm

Subject: Spill. Everything. Now.

I appreciate the pizza bailout, don’t get me wrong. But my paranoia has now reached DEFCON 1 levels and it WILL NOT stand down until I get some answers. So spill. Just how much do you actually know about me? Do you have my address on file somewhere? Photos? Socials? Pet peeves? Middle name??

I understand need-to-know for operations, but this is need-to-know for my own peace of mind. Please assuage these frazzled med student nerves and assure me you’re not some mysterious stalker Colonel (unless that’s just part of your charm). I’ll even send new Luna's pics in return! Consider it a debriefing – you give, you get. Otherwise the wheels will keep spinning in my head…

Sincerely (and only mildly obsessively),

Snow

----------

>>Anonymous

05/29/23(Mon)22:37:10 No:132926391

Colonel Stalker Dude is freaking me out

Image: [Confused pepe scratching head.jpg 230kb, 400x400]

>Be me, a totally tired out and broke student

>Remember getting those shady files months ago

>Thought Colonel dude was cool and weird pen pal

>Even started to like him after long talks

>But NOW he knows my address???

>WTF how long has he been watching me

>On one hand it’s creepy AF but kinda flattering a high rank dude cares

>Other hand I don't want a secret stalker or to get disappeared

>Free food is nice but feeling stalked is not cash money

>Used to have bit of crush but now I'm skeeved TBH

>What do? Can't go to cops cuz questions. No close friends/fam

>Too broke to move or change info

>Maybe he’s just lonely but also maybe he climbs in my window ;____;

>What if he takes my organs in the night like some human harvester?!

>Only protection is my cat Luna and she's useless in a fight ;_;

>Try to be positive and asking him how much he know

>Currently waiting for his replied while I was writing this post

>Anons pls help, should I keep talking to possible stalker man?

Don’t want my organs harvested but also don’t wanna waste a free food connection

Very conflicted and slightly paranoid this girl is in DIRE need of advice

Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)22:45:19 No:132926405: >>132926391(OP)#

Sounds like a thriller romance novel lol! He probs just cares in his own intense way. Keep talking but be safe, maybe feel him out more? Could be nnothing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)23:16:08 No:132926439: >>132926405#

IKR it does sound like a book! But what if it’s a prequel to a snuff film?! I’ll try to subtly find out wtf he knows without pissing him off…

Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)23:37:12 No:132926502: >>132926391(OP)#

LOL girl chill no one climbin in ur windows. He prolly just admires ur spirit. Keep lines of comms open, set boundaries if needed but relax!

Anonymous 05/29/23(Mon)23:45:01 No:13292623: >>132926502#

You’re right, I do overthink! I’ll calm my farm. Thank u stranger, maybe he’s just a bored soldier man and not a psycho (´。＿。｀)

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)00:25:31 No:13292684: >>132926391(OP)#

Change ur info anyway, maybe he won’t go to ur new stuff. And get some locks/alarms jfc. Play it safe.

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)00:42:44 No:13292692: >>13292684#

Can’t change anything, I used my student email! And too broke for moves or upgrades, these loans gotta last :’( but self defense is a must, thanks!

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)01:28:19 No:132922735: >>132926391(OP)#

Send Luna pics. Also tell col u feel weird, set ground rules like no stalking. Maybe he just wants friendship. Be safe!

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)01:46:31 No:132922757: >>132922735#

[sleepy_Luna.jpg 1,3mb 1000x1000] You’re so right, communication is key. I’ll lay it all out clearly and see how it goes. Thx fren <3

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)01:59:36 No:132922805: >>132926391(OP)#

Maybe he liiiiikes you ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) whatever happens keep us posted! We’re invested now lol

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)02:08:55 No:132922822: >>132922805#

omggg don't say that!! Now I'll be paranoid AND flustered X_X But I definitely will update y'all, this is quite the melodrama unfolding

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)02:15:36 No:132922811: >>132926391(OP)#

Girlll tell that stalker if he wants a piece he gonna have to pay your tuition first! Then maybe you’ll reconsider the organ harvesting. Gotta respect your worth sis 💅

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)02:23:12 No:132922834: >>132922811#

Omg you genius!!! If he’s really interested he can sponsor my broke ass med student life lol. Alleviate my debt and he gets unlimited Luna pics, win-win!

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)03:01:46 No:132922839: >>132926391(OP)#

Lmao girl you been reading too many thrillers! Military guys have ways of finding people, changing email won’t do shit. Just ask him wtf is up like a normal person

Anonymous 05/30/23(Tue)03:39:44 No:132922926: >>132922839#

Ugh you make a good point, confronting is smarter than hiding. But what if he locks me in a dungeon for being nosy?! I have no one to turn to if I disappear ;-;

------

From: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

To: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

05/30/24 at 03:45am

Subject: RE: Spill. Everything. Now.

Snow,

Let’s just say I know more than you think. But rest assured, your privacy and safety remain my priority here.

As for debriefs, some questions are best left unanswered, even between…friends. Maintaining mystique has its place too, no?

Focus on your studies. I’ll focus on ensuring no more interruptions are needed.

Now get some rest. You’ve an early lab tomorrow if I’m not mistaken.

Sweet dreams.

König

----

From: SnowFarron93@medschool.edu

To: Colonel_König@KorTac.mil

05/30/23 at 03:47am

Subject: DUDE.

HOW.

----

This one was short because I've been busy with other stuff hahah. It sure took some twisted turn hmmM? or maybe poor Snow just over reacted ;)

Also love, comment and reblogged are really appreciate! 💖

[hard-core-super-star]

How about Reader is a stunt driver and loves cars, she's best friends with Griffin and hailee has a huge crush on her. (Hailee Steinfeld x fem reader.)

remind me i'm alive [H.Steinfed]

pairing: hailee steinfeld x stuntdriver!reader

summary: your day off takes a sudden turn when your best friend's sister decides to finally make a move after silently pining after you for far too long.

warnings: none; half an inch of plot; idiots in love; hailee being a flustered mess while R struggles to read between the lines; griffin being tired of watching the mess; R has a corvette because i love subtle references

wordcount: 2k

a/n: full disclosure, i wrote this with bumblebee era hailee in mind so do with that information what you will. it's not super noticeable but just thought you should know. also, i know even less about cars than i do about sports so...an attempt was made and i'll leave it at that. i was originally going to make this angsty and full of plot but i decided against it and just wrote a bunch of fluff. hope you like it!

* * * * * * *

Today was supposed to be a normal day off. 

You weren’t needed on set until next week which meant you had more than enough time to hang out with your best friend and mess around with your endless works in progress.

The chosen project of the day was letting Griffin do a simple tune-up on your precious 1970 Corvette. 

You’re more than capable of doing it on your own but you’re pretty sure he’s in love with your car and you’re not about to deny him the opportunity to be the one he loves.

And there’s also the fact that his sister said she was coming over today. Which makes your behavior today a lot less normal than usual.

You hate to admit it but almost every time you come over to Griffin’s house you end up sitting around and hoping Hailee will decide to show up. You know it’s weird and borderline creepy but despite all the time you spend with her brother, it’s practically impossible for you to spend time with her.

There’s always something that gets in the way. Usually, it’s your schedules, sometimes it’s your inability to talk to her like a normal person due to your badly hidden feelings for her, and every once in a while, it’s Hailee herself. 

There was a time when you thought she hated you since she always seemed to find a way to avoid being around you. Griffin swears it was because you made her too flustered to be able to hang out alone with you. You think he’s insane but he swears it’s true. And maybe it is true, it’s hard to tell though considering how adorably awkward the brunette can be sometimes, regardless of who she’s with. 

It’s one of the things you find most endearing about her. Not that you’d ever admit that out loud.

“So, what do you think?”

You turn to look at Griffin, your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “Think about what?”

He chuckles. “You didn’t hear a single word I said did you?”

“Sorry, I guess I got lost in my thoughts.”

There’s a subtle smirk on his face that tells you he knows exactly what’s got you so distracted. You’ve never admitted your feelings for his sister to him but he’s not blind and he knows you well enough to recognize the signs. “You need a break. And I know the perfect person to keep you company.”

“Oh, shut up,” you say with an eye roll.

“Hey, you’re the one who can’t focus. Just do us both a favor and go talk to Hailee. I need some time away from you.”

You glare at him while he laughs at the look on your face. You give him a well-earned punch to the arm before walking away. “Asshole.” 

“Right back at you, y/n!”

You let your heart lead the way out of the garage and into Griffin’s house where you find Hailee in the kitchen, leaning against the kitchen island. She doesn’t notice you walk in since all her focus is on her phone and you can’t help but take advantage of the moment to give her a small scare as payback for all the times she sneaks up behind you and tries to tackle you.

“What are you looking at?”

“Jesus!” She exclaims with a startled jump, her phone dropping out of her hands and sliding across the kitchen island. “Warn a person, you jerk!”

You want to apologize, you really do, but it’s impossible for you to hold back your laugh considering the downright offended look that covers her face. Her eyes narrow while your laughter shakes your whole body. 

She’s clearly not impressed by your reaction but you swear you can see the corners of her mouth quirk up a little. “Alright, that’s it, I’m taking your car for a drive.”

You assume she’s kidding although that slight twinkle in her eyes should be more than enough proof that she’s not bluffing. Still, like an idiot, you make no move to argue against her words…until she stands up and starts running toward the garage.

You chase after her without a second thought. “Hailee, wait!”

“Oh, now you want to talk?” She teases. “It’s a bit too late, y/l/n!”

You almost burst out laughing again but you force yourself to keep it together and focus on running after her. Seriously, since when is the garage so far away?

“Don’t you dare lay a hand on my baby, Steinfeld!”

The two of you make it into the garage where your beautiful Corvette awaits with Griffin nowhere to be found. And of course, your best friend decided to leave the keys in the ignition because he’s a genius.

“You need better hobbies,” she says matter-of-factly as she reaches the front door of your car.

Thankfully, she gets distracted by her own comment long enough for you to erase the remaining space between your bodies. You come up behind her and wrap your arms around her waist in a tight embrace.

There’s a second where you forget what it is that you’re doing, too overwhelmed by the feeling of Hailee’s warm body pressed against yours to remember all the reasons that keep you from telling her the truth about the depth of your affection for her. It’s like you get a glimpse into what your life would be like if you weren’t such a coward. 

And if your feelings were mutual. Which feels more impossible than the plot of all the Transformers movies combined.

The moment passes as quickly as it came and suddenly, you’re lifting the brunette off the ground while she yells increasingly ridiculous obscenities at you. You’re pretty sure she declares you a ‘car fucker’ at some point but her words come out too fast and jumbled for you to understand her. 

You’re not sure where you’re going with her but you know you don’t want her anywhere near your precious car right now. You’re mainly just being dramatic (although she is a notoriously bad driver) but it’s also been way too long since you’ve seen her so carefree and you want to do everything in your power to keep that smile on her face.

Even if it means carrying her around her brother’s house like a doofus while you try your hardest not to accidentally drop her.

“Okay, okay, you’ve made your point,” she says, unsuccessfully holding back a laugh. “Put me down, y/n.”

“Fine, stop your whining.”

You walk over to the couch and drop her down onto it. You’re too focused on making sure she doesn’t fall to the ground to notice her reach her arm out to grab you. Her hand grips your forearm tightly and she pulls you down with her. 

You let out a small groan as you land on the couch…or, more accurately, as you land on top of the adorable brunette.

Your face heats up the instant you realize the position you’re in. Despite your nervous embarrassment, you make no attempt to move away. It’s mainly because you don’t want to but the arm wrapped around your waist also has something to do with your hesitancy to get up.

You place your hand next to her head and lift yourself up a little so you can look down at her. You raise an eyebrow in a silent question that she completely ignores. 

“Hi,” she whispers.

You’re so close that you swear you feel the warmth of her breath hit your lips. 

“Hi,” you reply, doing your best to keep your gaze on her eyes. “Was there a point to this or is this your version of a good hobby?”

The ghost of a smile crosses her face when you throw her words back at her. “That depends.” 

“On what?”

“On what happens if I…” She trails off as she leans forward a little, your breath catching in your throat at the sight. “Do this.”

The space between your lips disappears the next second leaving you breathless in a way you’ve never experienced before. 

The kiss is slow and exploratory, almost as if you’re both afraid of scaring the other with all the unspoken desires you’re harboring inside of yourselves. It's everything you've ever wanted but have never had the courage to ask for.

You're about to let your hands join in on the exploration when you hear Griffin’s voice coming from down the hall. “y/n? Hailee? Where'd you guys run off to?”

You instantly pull away from her and come crashing back down to reality. A reality that feels a lot like the worn-out carpet that covers the floor of your best friend’s living room. Clearly, you had overshot your movements when you pulled away from Hailee’s lips and now you look more like an idiot than you originally planned.

She doesn't seem to mind if her laughter is anything to go by. 

“I…do I even wanna ask?” 

“Nope,” you reply to Griffin. “Are you done with my car?”

“Yeah, everything’s good. You might want to change your tires soon though. Or just stop speeding.”

“I do not speed!” You argue back even though you both know you're lying. It's a bad habit you've always had that's only gotten worse since you started working as a stunt driver. You know your best friend has the same problem though so you don't feel too ashamed about it.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” he says before he throws your keys at you. 

You catch them and quickly rise to your feet. Speaking of bad habits… “Well, this was fun, I’m gonna go.”

“Already?” Griffin questions you. “I thought you had the day off?”

“I do and I love you but I need some time away from you.” 

He rolls his eyes in response, an action that reminds you way too much of the brunette you’re currently trying to run away from. “Okay, I had that coming. We still on for lunch tomorrow?”

“Only if you’re paying,” you reply with a grin as you start to make your way toward the garage once again.

You know you probably look an asshole for walking away without a glance toward Hailee but it’s an instinctual response that you can’t quite bring yourself to get in the way of. You’re not sure what it is that makes you react like this. Maybe it’s the fact that you’ve definitely fallen in love with your best friend’s sister and there’s no way you’re going to be able to hide it any longer. 

Or maybe you just need a few minutes to really come to terms with the fact that Hailee kissed you.

She looked at you with the softest look imaginable on her face and kissed you. 

And now you’re running away.

You’re a second away from turning around and walking back inside when you hear footsteps approaching. “Where are you gonna go?”

You smile despite yourself the second you hear her voice. The two of you walk side by side until you reach your car. “I don't know. I’ll probably drive to the beach or something. I need some fresh air.”

“I, uh, I could go with you,” she offers, her cheeks tinted the softest shade of pink. “We just…we never get the chance to hang out and I, um, I think we should talk.”

You're sure you've never heard the brunette so nervous before and the mere sight is more than enough to get your heart racing.

“Are you sure you’re going to be able to focus long enough for that?” You ask, unable to stop yourself from teasing her a little when you catch her eyes drifting down to your lips.

She lets out a warm chuckle. “I make no promises.”

You push away your own nervousness and hesitation, choosing instead to dive into this newfound connection with her. You don't say anything in response but you open the passenger door for her in a silent invitation.

She accepts with a breathtaking smile. Her lips brush against your cheek before she climbs into your car. You stare at her with a dumbfounded look on your face for a few seconds, unable to understand how someone so perfect even exists.

You hate to admit it but Griffin was right. Somehow, against all odds, Hailee wants you and you'd be a fool to let her go.

[yourlovermumu]

thinking about solomon and you studying in the rad library for an upcoming exam after school and when nobody is present in rad. both of you in comfy attire instead of the rad uniform as you both decided it would take quite long to finish the study session as it wouldnt be a stretch to say that you two would most likely need to pull an all nighter as the exam happened to be tomorrow. and you two would rather not be uncomfortable on top of stressed.

things were going well until solomon starts getting distracted by your exposed skin. your pretty thighs in that small comfy shorts your wearing, your matching top. what you were wearing was by no means sultry nor meant to seduce him, he knowns that yet he cant help it. he shouldnt feel aroused by something like this. but he cant help it. 

your just so beautiful and angelic. how could he ever restrain himself? 

needless to say, it wasnt what you were wearing, it was just you. 

but he swears he tried to restrain himself. he really did. tried his hardest. he didnt want to ruin this innocent study session by his own selfishness. but it was hard, hard to restrain himself. 

so he tried satisfying himself, or rather what he told himself ‘’calming down’’ by placing a hand on your thigh. but really, his just a whipped puppy at your mercy thats unable to control his desire, want and lust for you.

you raise an eyebrow at that. whats he doing? you think to yourself. 

however you pay it no mind and focus on the work at hand. 

writing down important points and things that you think are most likely to appear on the exam. all well trying to focus and understand every bit of things that you deem important while chewing on snacks once in a while. 

solomon on the other hand doesnt even try to maintain focus anymore. 

his focused on one thing though, you. he focuses on everything your doing while asking himself, why is it that his so out of character right now? is it because his alone with you? or is it because of that outfit your wearing makes you look so incredibly cute? perhaps is it because its been ages since he last got to touch your soft skin, touch your lips with his, allow his tongue to travel to all places of your body? maybe its all three, he does not know. 

it doesnt take long until you finally notice his unusual behavior. 

solomon is startled by having to meet your pretty eyes staring at him. 

you dont say anything. instead stare. and it almost scares him. he wonders if you had already caught on his weird behavior. afterall, you were by no means dumb.

but his not so sure if having you speaking would make him less scared. what would you say? 

but all thoughts are thrown out his head as his mind goes blank at your words. his face flushed red. 

‘‘you look like you need my help, sweetie. dont you? how incredibly needy of you.’‘  

oh his so glad you asked, but by the tone of your voice it seems like you didnt exactly ask. because you knew already. and you were gonna help him already without him having to ask.

[vermillioncrown]

This is going to be a huge post because you've picked up so much of what we put down I'm just 🥰🥹

@sunshinerotting replied to your post “(@rozaceous) dpnf ch 11: housebroken”:

will be rereading immediately but i love your guys’ characters very much and the way you write the canon characters makes so much sense. the way the people in that house interact with each other is so interesting to me because if tim was actually the normal boy he thinks he is the entire balance would be thrown off. no one else could’ve done what he does in that dynamic. they’re like a jigsaw puzzle to me. i have more thoughts give me a sec

thank you so much! roz and i keep joking that this fic is now an au of an au of an au of an au... and on and on, and then it's like. what makes this still a fic and not a fully original setting and work? we had to sell readers on a lot, that these characters (outside of our SIs) were still some flavor of canon. especially, "who is the core of tim drake?" and yeah, he's so not fucking normal. but he's not obviously wacky, either.

​out of order now i don’t remember chapter numbers: when jason showed up like a huge asshole i texted my friend about it. very much “he WOULD fucking do that but by god is it PISSING ME OFF” and it was!! love that genuinely. might not be what was intended but i do think he IS odd and sad and unable to move through the cycle of grief fully enough to show back up like a haunting and not expect it to get to allie like that. zero ability to understand how loved he is. 10/10 more...

GAH to know you texted abt our fic!!!! 🥹🥹🥹 best praise tbh. and the second sell: how is jason an asshole but worth rooting for later? or at least, allowed into the enclosure lol. we might not have had it summarized as neatly as you did, but roz and i are in full agreement you Read jason here. that's exactly what we wanted, that's so much of what we take from his character in various canons.

allie reminds me of a bobcat which feels weird to say but she’s so nonthreatening outwardly and she minds her business but the second someone steps in on her people it’s like Oh. oh right. teeth and claws. when jason showed back up i felt so much for her. there was no way for her to move. korvin acts in ways similar to me, which i will examine on my own time and not in your comments. i do love how everyone in this house has their own preferred flavor of Avoidance

you also have such a read on allie, i love it. i'll leave her to roz but i'll say my piece that i sometimes get bummed that korvin's so obviously wacky + a lot of gender stuff at play (the audience/demographic of ff readers, we live in a society and all that) that make more ppl focus on korvin over allie whereas they're both equally wack. and korvin's behavior makes the most sense when taken as a convoluted male re-socialization of someone initially female-socialized but rewarded in a male-dominated space. AND both of them are AuDHD, word of god putting that out there. add on the isekai brainworms, and yeah, isekai is just an extended analogy for masking → hence the different flavors of avoidance

tim is somehow the most well-adjusted in this regard, before jason shows up maybe, and thats so crazy. tim drake. Tim Drake ????comparatively well-adjusted to anyone ??? i know i’m forgetting something so i’ll come back but writing that down genuinely through me off a little bit. lol

you also recognize that jason ranks above tim in "well-adjusted" here, god, how does it feel to be so correct. and tim is well-adjusted here! he's never had to be a vigilante! but he's also much lonelier than in canon. something that made retrospective sense while we were writing is that he fell out of liking ball sports (despite not being a desk nerd) is that...who does he have to enjoy them with in this au?

threw not through. anyway I FORGOT ABOUT RUTABAGA. I AM SO SORRY RUTABAGA. the amount of love between the characters is so important to me bc it’s always there no matter how fucked the bats are about showing it normally. the brownstone does end up feeling like a safe space like it somehow feels so easy most of the time and then when tangential forces (sorry dick) show up it’s like the air changes. but allie and korvin and tim all have such Personalities its insane it works out like that.

RUTIE BEST GIRL, forgiven lol. YES YES YES there is so much love and it's like, the love doesn't stop you from doing the work. the bats are so fucked up, and we only get a glimpse of dick and korvin's relationship where you can see the maladapted consequences on both of their parts, dick not being fully equipped to "raise" korvin and korvin wanting to be easy/convenient for dick. and korvin's deep-seated not-abandonment issues tied with family and cultural trauma/burden.

(i still stand by the "good older brother dick grayson" tag, he's just. oh there's a lot. if you read between the lines there's so much being implied for TPAC)

but having allie in this 'verse, allie and korvin together ground each other. that's why they're so co-dependent in the beginning (it's healthier at the end), that's why they still had the wherewithal to seek an outside friend, and yes, that is why the brownstone is like that. their place that they made with their own hands.

obviously jason was an issue initially (it felt redundant to write that sentence) but he’s such a necessary part of them by being 1) necessary to allie and 2) the catalyst allie and korvin needed to end up where they are. i do think ppl that important to each other need one big unavoidable conflict to avoid stagnation like obviously he was a necessary part of the story but he was a Necessary Part Of The Story. does this make sense?? four strand braid.

AND YES DUDE you literally. we were writing this and we had the vibe, but we literally did not articulate it to each other until the very end that jason's actually necessary to make all of them normal. i love everything you're saying about needing one unavoidable conflict to resolve. he is part of a four strand braid. it's so strong. it's critical. korvin still finds jason annoying and vice versa. and yet they'd both say the household contains all of them by the end.

i just like that they start off alone and end up together. that’s my thing. jigsaw puzzle. polycule of all time. i can’t think of a way in which another person would ever get that close to them the dynamics are so perfect to me. every need is accounted for. its like a perfect little box in my mind. i think thats it for now lol i’m happy you guys write together. not just bc i love it but also bc it’s so clear u guys have fun doing it and that makes me happy <3

WE MADE IT. it's one thing to prescribe "hey guys this is a polycule" but selling it? the logistics of a polycule? not so easy, and it has to be tailored to the situation and characters. not all of them are romantically/sexually involved, nor do they have straight-forward relationships (hence, qpr), so having you say it fits and they seem seamless is like. top tier praise. coherence, it's everything we've aimed for.

thank you for all of your thoughts! we do have tons of fun and that's why we love sharing what we have! and we hope to keep doing projects like this, or we'll just be at each other's side while we work on our individual fics.

[scekrex]

I know you've wrote that you got a bit of a writer's block, but I've got an idea for you for later on when you're up in power of creativity.

So, I just woke up from, I'm not sure, a night terror, maybe (might be the hallucinations that are getting to me after yesterday, wooohoo, vicious cycle of not sleeping), and it might sound absolutely weird, but it got me thinking and I came up with an idea for a prompt where the reader gets a night terror, maybe something related to his family before he died like his godson or goddaughter are being tormented by some invisible force in a pram, the reader walks over to it wanting to release the kiddo. When he does, the child does what every kid likes to do which is sort of climbing when you get them into your arms, they like to completely change their arms position and try to get on top of your head, so the kid does that and the reader could feel like a sharp pinch on the back of his neck. The child suddenly dissappeared and he cupped the place where he felt the pain before suddenly waking up in cold sweat to Adam trying to calm him down to the best of his, we all know not the best, abilities, but he's trying! So a cookie for him. They just simply cuddle in silence until everything is fine and it's completely up to you if you want to make the reader talk about whatever happened in his night terror or not. I'm just feeling like some angst with a happy ending, cause jesuuus that nightmare/night terror/sleep hallucination was foking wild 💀

That's how I looked after I woke up, srs

No more writers block, bitches, ur boy's back at it again whoop whoop, (where's my fucking hype train huh??/jk) I also hope you slept better this time <3

Night Terrors

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, night terrors (I guess)

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

Screams and cries of a little child filled your ears and once you were able to focus on your surroundings, your eyes caught your adorable little goddaughter who was sitting in her pram.

She was screaming, crying out your name as she seemed to hit something invisible to your eyes, she was desperately trying to get whatever it was off of her but still being so small she had no chance. Her face was red and her lungs must have hurt by how loudly she's been screaming, tears were running down her cheeks as she tried to get out of her pram - to no success.

You walked over to her, not quite understanding what was wrong with her - what was wrong with the situation. You had goosebumps all over your body and it was only then that you noticed you were shaking. Where that feeling came from you didn't know but what you did know was that you had to get to your goddaughter. The poor little thing needed to calm down, her body must have been exhausted already and she was still putting up a fight.

“Hey there, little princess,” your words sounded unreal in your own ears, as if they were muffled by cotton, but you continued talking to her as you reached to pick her up, “Now, now, pumpkin, I’m here now, you don't need to be afraid anymore.” The little girl looked at you with curious eyes as she made grabby hands at you. You finally lifted her out of her pram and rested her on your hip with one arm wrapped around her body, the other supporting her head. “See?” you smiled softly at the little girl. “You’re all safe now, I won't let anything happen to you, pumpkin,” you assured the little human as you wiped her tears from her cheeks.

She, however, seemed to have different plans, because while she did stop to scream and she did stop to kick around, she was now climbing up your body - with your hands supporting her obviously. “Whatcha doing?” you asked, irritated by her behavior. She had done that before, it was simply what toddlers did, but she never went further than your shoulder. This time though, she covered your face with her small body as she wrapped her arms and legs around your head tightly.

You tried to pull her away, tried to get the child off of you but to no avail. You called out for help, somebody, anybody, but neither were your calls answered nor did someone step in. She was making it hard for you to breathe and then you felt a sharp pain going through your body, its origin at your neck where your goddaughter’s little hands and mouth had just been, causing you to scream at the top of your lungs. What the fuck was that? Had the little girl bit you? You weren't sure, to be completely honest, you didn't know what was going on entirely.

Suddenly the weight of the child disappeared and when you tried to grab the body that had just been on top of your head, there was nothing but air, nothing unusual and most importantly not your goddaughter. Your hand moved to your neck instead, where the pain came from and once your hand touched the area, your eyes shot open and your body was sitting upright on a soft mattress.

Your heart was pumping fast, so fast that if you were still alive you surely would've had a stroke. Sweat was covering your entire body which caused you to shiver violently, you didn't know if it was because you were actually cold or because of the panic that was still screaming inside you.

Then there were hands on your body, one big, warm and so familiar feeling hand was located on your shoulder, the other cupped your cheek softly. Your head snapped to the side where a warm body was pressed against you and with wide eyes you looked at your boyfriend.

Your boyfriend.

The fog that had made it hard to see your surroundings disappeared and all of a sudden your mind was clear again, silent, but clear.

Adam was holding you, your head was resting against his chest and the tip of his feathers gently caressed your arm, his heartbeat was normal, calm even and it helped you to calm down as well. Your eyes that had been wide open only seconds ago were falling shut and you leaned into the warmth the brunette offered you. “There you are, babes,” he mumbled with his face buried in your hair, visibly relieved about that fact. “Thought you were dying,” you knew just as much as him that you wouldn't die that easily but it gave you some kind of fuzzy feeling to think that, to pretend that you could've died, to pretend that you were still human. Just for the moment.

“No I-” you interrupted yourself. You wanted to explain to him what had happened, that you hadn't been dying. But the words never left your lips, instead you simply shook your head and repeated, “No.” Adam placed a kiss on your head, “Good.”

That was a thing about Adam that you adored, well one of the many things. He never pressured you to talk, he always gave you time and space if needed, even if it was hard for the both of you to understand and handle. So you silently cuddled up against him, your arms were wrapped around his hips and your face was buried in his chest as you listened to his heartbeat. Oh his heartbeat, one of the few things in heaven that were able to calm you down in an instant. His calm breathing helped you too and you breathed with him in order to calm your body down.

“Sorry for waking you,” you mumbled against his skin, pressing your face even closer to his chest in embarrassment. “Shut up, babes,” he simply said. You knew he meant ‘It doesn't matter as long as you're safe and well’ and ‘I love you, stop apologizing for such nonsense’. So you did. You did shut up and continued to listen to his body, in the distance you heard a couple of birds singing but that was quickly tuned out by Adam who was humming something - probably one of the countless songs he and his band had written. But you enjoyed it, enjoyed him humming to you, him giving you the comfort you needed without questioning it.

Soon he slowly laid back down, pulling you down with him. Your head was still resting on his chest - your entire body was laying on top of him. “Try to catch some sleep babes, whatever fucked up demon was haunting you, I'll fight that bastard off for you if he tries again.” You chuckled softly at that but gave a quiet hum in agreement. You felt how his wings came up to wrap around your body to underline his words, he'd protect you.

He always did.

[deblklesb]

[Happy Christmas Eve! — Abby × Reader]

[fem!reader, christmas theme, fluff/soft with some sexual content (not enough to be a smut), established relationship]

Summary: Reader makes Abby a stocking and gives her a gift

a/n: don't mind me, I'm just making something to feed my soul with Abby fluff and fulfill Abby's wish of someone making her a stocking

cw: little sexual content by the end

! Reblogs are extremely appreciated !

"Can I open it now?" Abby asked from the living room, her voice reaching you through the apartment.

"No! Just one second!"

"Come on!" Her voice had a grumble tone, you almost could see her pouting. "That's not good girl behavior"

"You'd know", you snorted, finally finishing the adjustment on your garments. You hid the things behind your back, walking back in the living room patiently. "If you were Santa, where in this house you'd find good to see a stocking?"

"What?"

"We don't have a fireplace", standing in front of the blonde woman, you saw her frowning her eyebrows, absolutely lost on the subject. "You can open now"

Abby did it, and took her some seconds to absorb the view. You had a Christmas cap and a green big shirt covering your body until the middle of your thighs, underneath just a red lacey panties that she couldn't see yet. A grin on your lips denounced how you're up to no good, but she decided to focus on how cuddly that day was slowly becoming with you.

Christmas were always a weird holiday after her father's death. As much as the people on WFL away made get-togethers on that period too, it wasn't the same. She would usually hang out with her friends and sometimes even play with the dogs on the snow, but apart from that there wasn't some type of Christmas spirit.

You too didn't had the habit of celebrating that holiday, simply because it never seemed attractive. The world was chaotic and a bunch of people died, and during the most part of your childhood you and your parents spent too much time running and surviving. It wasn't exactly fun. Then you found the WFL quarter and decided to settle. That was somewhere four years ago, and after two Christmas you started to anticipate de holiday with excitement. On the third year you were already planning you own traditions. This year you had Abby, and as much as she didn't had the same anticipation she also didn't said otherwise.

So there you were all smiles, a bubble of happiness coming from the single thought of watching the movies and eating the Christmas food the cafeteria had that time of the year.

"This is cute", her grin got bigger as she pulled you from your legs to stand between hers, and then you finally revealed what was hidden. "What..."

Abby analyzed the two stockings in front of her now, red and white fabric, her initial letter in one and yours on the other, in yellow. Small stars, mistletoe and snow flakes around. "What is this?"

"Stockings!" She grabbed hers, fingers tracing the details while she sit in silence. The difference on her demeanor made you stand still, waiting. What if she didn't like it? "I... I didn't knew where to hang them, so I decided to wait to surprise you..." Still not a word from her. That sunk a weird feeling in your chest, the doubt of making something that could upset her creeping you mind. "Is there something wrong? I mean, I know the sewing isn't perfect, but my mom taught me me just last week in a rush, and I also had a run, so it can be a little bit hurried..."

Abby finally looked up at you and her blue eyes were watering a little. She sniffed briefly, looking away and then to you again. "Yeah, the sewing is pretty shitty to be honest"

You stopped deadpaned, watching as a small grin came on her beautiful lips and she pushed away the tears. Then she startled as you punched her arm. "You idiot!"

Abby laughed pulling you on her lap and hugging your waist, feeling your arms wrapping around her broad shoulders as she kissed your neck over and over.

"I thought you hated it"

"I love it, baby", the few honey-blonde hair strands falling around her face made her even prettier, cute freckles and small scars adorning her features too. "Thank you", she bumped her lips on yours, accepting your pecks.

"I have other present for you."

"I'm starting to feel really bad because i just got one thing for you", the woman countered.

"You got me something?!"

"Of course! What kind of girlfriend do you think I am?!"

"The type to sexually torture me in bed", you said, leaning over the arm of the couch to grab a package hidden behind the corner table. The shirt went up a little with your movement added to Abby's hold, and that made her see the tip of your lacey panties covering the upper thigh.

"Dressing up all cute for me I might as well do it again", she smirked while pulling the green fabric up to better see the piece of clothing underneath.

"I thought good girls were well rewarded", you pouted, giving her the package even tho that meant having her warm hands away from your skin. "Maybe this can help you decide what to do."

Abby looked at you all suspicious, tearing up the wrappings just to see a box with the product image in the front. That immediately made her blush, glancing your grin. "How did you find this?"

"That last minute run I went last week with Nora... We kinda found a sex shop some weeks ago and decided to keep it to ourselves to explore and get some things before reporting"

"You call that good girl behavior?", you caressed her shoulders while she opened the box, seeing the dildo and the small textured gadget next to it. "What's this?"

"You put it on the inside part of the strap", she gulped, imagining what would happen. You lean on her to whisper in her ear "It's for you to use while fucking me senseless"

The woman threw the box away before grabbing you by the waist again, crashing her lips on yours in a heated kiss. You smiled between it, heart fluttering as the thought of a destabilized Abby on top of you flooded your mind. She would look so fucking hot moaning and trembling while railing you; your pussy throbbed just with the anticipation.

"Wanna try it before the party tonight?" She muttered as kissing your neck, hands gripping your thighs and ass and getting another smile from you, her voice was so fucking sexy.

"Please be gentle, I don't wanna look like I just had sex when seeing my parents tonight", you both chuckled.

"So why did you dress this, uh?"

"Y'know... Christmas tradition?"

"Oh, yeah, right", she grabbed the box again and handed it to you, getting up from the couch carrying your weight like it was nothing as you wrapped your legs around her torso.

"Showing off like that it'll be hard not to beg you to fuck me untill I can't stand." Abby making use of her muscles were always an arousing thing and on top of that you were the biggest simp.

"Well, you discovered my trick", she smirked, walking towards the bedroom. "Now let's get this to a test drive and after the party you can show me how much a good girl you are."

[dividers by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more]

[chirpsythismorning]

This is a continuation in exploring why I think Mike's character regression over the seasons can be explained in part by guilt, which he has yet to confront

Original post

Now we're onto s2, which jumps us ahead in the timeline a bit.

Mike has been calling out to El on the walkie for approx. 252 days now, under what he views as the false hope she might actually be alive. This is mostly based on the fact that Mike thought he saw El outside of his house a few hours after she 'died' (he did see her, bc she was there...) and so a part of him does think there's a chance. And yet this is also isn't something Mike seems to be comfortable talking about the others with.

Which brings us to the crazy together scene. Although this scene has a lot going on, there's one aspect of it in particular that I want to focus on, as it's the driving force for what is going to be discussed, which is that Halloween night was also the last night Mike called El, aka day 353.

I just want to preface what follows, with the fact that I do not personally think Mike giving up calling El, as a concept on its own, means that he couldn't possibly love El romantically or something. It's not even about that idea from an audience perspective. And this is because any average person, in reality, mourning someones' death, should not be calling out to that person for almost a year. Letting go doesn't make you a bad person, whether it was romantic, platonic or even familial. It's called healing and accepting what is and trying to move on and live your life.

Neither does Mike giving up after that night make him heartless or a bad character in my opinion. It literally just makes him human. But that also doesn't mean that's how Mike feels about it, nor does it mean that the manifestation of this guilt isn't going to affect his behavior over the course of the series, causing some very unfortunate choices on Mike's part to then lead to some very unfortunate events for everyone...

Where it starts to get sort of complex is that I think the whole point of the crazy together scene and where it ended up was to for it to showcase how Mike and Will were both willing to accept each other, despite these secrets they've been keeping to themselves.

Will revealed the truth to Mike about how he could still see into the UD, with the addition of seeing this big 'shadow in the sky', followed by asking Mike to not tell the others because they wouldn't understand. Mike then responds by saying El would understand, followed by confiding his own secret to Will that he's been keeping from the others, which is that he thinks he's seen signs that El could still be alive.

The scene then ends with them in agreement that if they're both going crazy, they'll go crazy together, with it arguably being their most incriminatingly romantic moment to date, as it juxtaposes other uncannily similar romantic mentions on the show involving that same word.

But no matter what happens, they're promising to support each other, specifically the weird shit they have going on and could presumably continue to explore that weirdness, without telling anyone else who might judge them for it or misunderstand their feelings entirely...

This is why Mike had no problem with Will going crazy in s2 because as promised, he was going to be right there with him. Also meaning, Mike COULD have had no problem continuing to test out his theory that El was alive, because Will would have supported him.

Obviously, Will sort of had his hands tied in s2 (literally?), but the point still stands. It's not like this was something Mike HAD to give up, because that conversation between him and Will instilled that they would support each other and what makes them feel crazy.

I think the issue though, is that what's causing Mike so much grief daily for almost a year now, is the guilt that came with El's death and him feeling responsible. And so, in contrast to Will's slightly more justified assumptions that what he's seeing could actually be real based on what's happened to him, it's like Mike is asking himself whether he's actually seeing El because she's still alive OR is he just imagining she's still alive because he wants to forgive himself?

A kid deducing that in their head would make them feel pretty awful, don't you think? Maybe even lead them to calling out to that person for almost a year in hopes that they might still be alive?

Meaning Mike choosing that night to walk away, to give up, is likely a result of his conversation with Will making him feel more comfortable with finally letting go of some of that guilt in order to actually start the process of moving on. Because a big part of why he didn't want to move on was because of guilt in the first place.

Also confiding in Will and only Will, not the others, who were hell bent on interpreting all of Mike's feelings for El as romantic, was maybe Mike's way of avoiding the pressure to associate his whole relationship with El as strictly romantic. With Will, maybe Mike knew he wasn't going to spin it into something like that. And he would’ve been right, because Will didn't.

October 30th, Halloween Night (Day 353 - Last call)

You cannot tell me that day 353 isn't framed as the last call. Like Mike is literally walking away dramatically, leaving El alone, with her now just a tiny dot surrounded by darkness. The way it's framed leaves the viewer genuinely feeling heartbroken because there's some very evident finality to what is being presented. And we even see that El feels it too, hence the episode cutting off dramatically with her tear filled eyes.

And so why did Mike choose THIS moment to give up? Why did he choose now to put his 353 day streak to rest? Like, that was impressive as hell. He could have easily kept that going, but instead he decided that this was going to be the last time he was going to try calling out to her...

November 1st (Day 354)

El is still pretty bummed that Hopper came home late last night, but I'm guessing she's even more bummed still processing what might have very well been Mike finally giving up that night too.

Although I don't think El would blame Mike for giving up, still, she too throughout all of this had been building up hope herself. El's been clinging onto the bond she made with Mike, specifically the romantic moments, to the point where she has been watching shows with romantic themes, putting herself in the position of the love interest.

So him not giving up, to El, has been a signal that what they are feeling between each other is very deep and... romantic. Him keeping this going this long is a sign to her that these feelings are pretty much guaranteed. And if he doesn't continue, that hope would obviously dwindle.

At breakfast that morning, Hopper acknowledges the TV cord peaking out of El's room, which is the device she uses to visit Mike from the void, all the way from the cabin. Without it, she is not able to 'communicate' with him, let alone see if he actually didn't give up after that night she feared he did...

Unfortunately her and Hopper have an argument after this, leading to her storming off to her room. And after Hopper is gone, El finds herself being so impatient to see Mike after almost a year of waiting, that she decides to take fate into her own hands. She isn't willing to wait until the evening, which is roughly speaking the usual time Mike uses the walkie to call her every night. She needs to see him now.

And lucky(?) for her, she does!

Finally! A SIGN! After almost a year of no signs that El is alive, since the night she went missing, Mike is getting a sign El is alive!

And he runs after it! He goes to check to confirm his (valid) suspicions, only for her to not be there, with Mike looking disappointed, but also kind of like he's accepted it's a lost cause at this point.

Mike's hope that El is alive and okay and the relief that would come with finally letting go of this massive weight of guilt, is not within reach. He just needs to accept it and let it go. He needs to forgive himself and move on.

On top of all of this, Will is experiencing his own version of crazy. And Mike seems more concerned with focusing on this and supporting Will, than holding onto this hope that El is alive.

So even though Mike just got a sign that El is alive (which parallels to the initial evidence of her being alive outside his house, what literally initiated him to call out to her for almost a year), he doesn't revert back to his approach of not giving up. He sticks by his decision.

The irony of what happens with El the same night that Mike doesn't call, for the first time, is not lost on me...

Tragically, El doesn't know Mike actually gave up (just like she feared he did) because she lost her ability to communicate with him that night.

I wonder how differently things would have played out if she new the truth. Would she have held onto this really romanticized idea of her and Mike's relationship because he never gave up? Or would she have maybe reassured Mike that it was okay that he gave up and moved past it and still hoped and tried to make it work? Honestly, I think the later.

Because again, it's not Mike giving up that makes him a bad person or something that refutes his ability to love her romantically, it just means that it's not true that he never gave up.

And Mike being the only person to know this fact... Um... Cannot be good for him.

October 2nd (Day 355)

As El is trying to revive a modicum of hope that she can see Mike again through the void, to confirm her hopes that he didn't give up, by using the TV like she usually does, she discovers that the cord is broken. It's a lost cause.

On the other side of town, Mike is entirely focused on Will. The previous night, he did not reach out to El. He gave up. And El is none the wiser.

The writers made the choice to have one more night that Mike could have called El because he was at home that night on day 354, a day that actually involved an incident that you'd think would have reignited his hope that she was alive, before he inevitably jumped head first into focusing on Will, with him not being home for the rest of the season. They could have shown us Mike calling out to El from the other side of town, and then cut to her in her room not knowing... And yet, they didn't...

This is where I jump to the end, because the focus primarily when it comes to El and Mike's arcs for the rest of the season are with El trying to find her mom and discover more about herself, while Mike is trying to be there for Will in any way he can.

The sad part is that despite Mike giving up and trying to move on from El's death, that guilt is never really going to go away. He gave El expectations that she had to risk her life to find Will, and all of that built up and inadvertently led to her death.

But maybe Mike can right the wrongs he had El endure by following through on his focus of not letting Will die too? Maybe if Mike can save Will, El wouldn't have died for nothing?

But with this guilt and Mike trying to overcorrect it all, he's also experiencing very real and emotional moments with Will. Will is his best friend, and just a year ago Mike risked everything to get him back. A lot of those moments he experienced with El in s1, moments mixed with romantic expectations, are now also lingering here with him and his friend in s2. Except these aren't forced expectations. Everything Mike’s feeling and doing the entire time comes naturally to him, with none of it requiring pushing or advice from those around him. It's just pure instinct.

In the end, Mike's beside Joyce and Jonathan, who are sharing memories they have with Will to him in hopes it will prove to them he's still in there and able to be saved.

This emotional sequence builds up to Mike using his own memory of Will to try to reach him, one that comes off as platonic in every sense of the word, but visually, and when looked at in the grand scheme of things, especially with what is about to follow and those romantic expectations with El soon being thrust back on him... Well... Shit is about to get real messy.

Upon reuniting with El, Mike was quick to want to tell her that he never gave up, only for her to interrupt him with the exact number of days he called (before he gave up).

This is news to Mike for an abundance of reasons. It means he's not crazy and that El actually was alive those two times he saw her. All this (survivors) guilt that's been building up over the last year could have been avoided if he'd known that she didn't die, that she was okay.

It also means that for some reason, El heard him, and yet she doesn't know that he gave up...

And here Hopper is, revealing that he's been hiding her the whole time aka the perfect person for Mike to take all of this pent-up emotion out on.

Hopper then tells Mike that they will discuss this privately, which I find to be very interesting because it offers a chance for the viewer to see just a glimpse into Mike's emotional state at this moment, without everyone around to affect his ability to truly open up about how he's feeling. And not alone just anywhere in the house, but in Will's room...

Mike is understandably upset because El is alive and Hopper knew this whole time and didn't tell him.

While Hopper didn't technically lie to Mike, at least not in canon because we never got an outright scene on-screen of Mike asking Hopper if El was alive with him denying it (all while knowing she was), it's at the very least a lie of omission...

But the thing is, if Hopper not clueing Mike in on El being alive qualifies as a lie of omission (off-screen), so does Mike not telling El he gave up (on-screen).

If anything Mike's lie of omission also qualifies as a plain old lie, because he outright told El he didn't give up (lied) and didn't correct her when she informed him she knew he didn't. She fully believed it, despite him knowing deep down that it wasn't the full truth.

So while Mike is taking all of his anger out on Hopper as this fighting match comes to a head, it takes a turn.

Hopper is fine with Mike blaming him, he says it's 'okay'. But it's not. Nothing about this is okay to Mike, seeing as this isn't even the whole problem. It's not the problem Mike's actually hiding within his outburst in the first place.

Suddenly Mike starts screaming to Hopper that he's a 'disgusting, lying, piece of shit', chanting LIAR over and over and over again, shoving him repeatedly, only for him to fall into Hopper's arms and start crying, with Hopper reassuring him that he's okay.

Something tells me Mike's emotions here aren't all about Hopper...

Something tells me that Mike's fixation with the word liar doesn't apply to Hopper here as much as it applies to Mike himself (in his eyes)...

The main reason why I think this is what's actually going on here, is because there was no reason to put so much emphasize on this concept of Mike literally walking away that last time he called her.

Why go through the trouble of creating this misunderstanding, by having the TV not work, with El not being able to go into the void to see Mike, THE very night he gave up, if to not plant the seed that this misunderstanding was going to bear some significance? That this misunderstanding (lie? lie of omission?) was going to lead to El assuming Mike didn't give up, all while Mike knows he gave up, but going along with the story that he didn't, for both El's sake and his own?

BECAUSE it's a surprise tool that will help us later!

I also think it's interesting that they decided to have Will go off and dance with a girl at the snowball BEFORE Mike decided to devote himself to El here on out. Like... that is quite the choice after a season of highlighting this bond between Will and Mike where they promise to go crazy together, which is a moment we know Will took romantically.... So, is it possible Mike also took it romantically? We know Will also took Mike's speech to him in the shed romantically, so is it possible Mike did too, with that experience only heightening his emotions and confusion over his feelings for El when he found out she was alive shortly after, leading to his outburst? But then Will is going and dancing with the girl, and here we have Mike's own version of falling behind (the Time After Time lyrics were more literal than you think).

What if they didn't do all of that? Would things have maybe panned out slightly differently if Mike wasn't under the (incorrect) assumption that Will didn't take those moments romantically?

While Mike's guilt might have started in s1, when he played the biggest role in pushing expectations onto El to help them find Will, only for her to 'die', it doesn't end there. Mike's guilt only builds when he holds the knowledge that he did give up hoping she could be alive, all while allowing El to believe the opposite based on what she saw, which was a guiding force for not only her love and dedication to him flourishing, but also for him to then shift his own version of expectations onto himself going forward to make it up to El by trying to be who she wants him to be.

We see how romanticized 353 days is interpreted exclusively as meaning Mike has to be in love with El. But he did give up. So what does that mean for all of this? For their picture perfect love story?

What does it mean for Mike to hold onto this truth, a truth that makes him feel immense guilt, only for him to spend the next year or so making it up to her...?

It means either Mike has to come clean, or he has to deflect and double down.

What option do you think a guilt-ridden, repressed homosexual kid in the 80's is going to choose?

Answer? Deflect and double down.

In s3, Mike is so focused on worrying about El (giving her what he thinks she wants) so he can right all the building up of wrongs he has done at her expense since he met her, and as a result loses Will in the process (where have we heard this before...?)

Instead of Mike having a moment in s3 where he acknowledges that he himself was the first to ever refer to El as a weapon in the first place, to try to save Will in s1, he's now turning around and blaming the others for using El as a weapon 'for no reason'...

No reason? Really Mike? Is it for no reason, or is it just not a good enough reason to you this time?

Or maybe has Mike just actually spent enough time with El now to truly feel a bond with her in order to see her as a full person, slightly outside of this imaginary superhero he's cooked her up to be when he met her that day in the woods, the day his life started because she was his first and only hope of finding Will? (I say slightly bc... I mean we all saw what happened in s4?)

I honestly think it's a mix of both...

I also think it's not a coincidence that Mike doubling down instead of facing the truth about this manifestation of guilt only makes things worse for him. And El. And Will.

Because suddenly he's choosing this moment to blurt out that he loves and can't lose her again, in front of everyone, even to his own dismay and shock. And when El walks in and gives him a chance to say it to her himself, like any person whose in love with someone would want to do, to make them feel loved, he looks terrified.

And when the season ends and Mike is given another chance to say it finally, to El directly, in roughly the exact same spot he had his emotional outburst in the previous season over finding out she was alive at the same time he was still grappling with losing Will again, IN WILL'S ROOM, he freezes. He just lets what happens, happen.

Because after everything, with El right now in front of him, telling him she loves him while being fully convinced he loves her too after everything they've went through, how could he possibly take it back, or try to make her understand his complicated feelings about all of this?

Answer? He can't.

As hard as it is to believe (not that hard honestly based on his track record), Mike's deflection and stalling era is just beginning...