“feel the burn” like no??? you don’t need to enjoy it. it might be happening but you don’t take pleasure in it. just ignore it. got back pain? try to ignore it. ran too fast and now your legs feel like they are made o stone? just ignore it.
something that absolutely changed the way i approach goals was realising that it's never the thing that you want, but rather the feelings that you believe it will give you. without striving for those feelings, the thing is not going to make you happy.
for example, until i was eighteen i would daydream about having a Real Best Friend. like i wanted my disney channel bff you know?? and getting older felt a lot like 'okay it'll happen when i get to secondary school' 'okay it'll happen when i get to sixth form' 'okay it'll happen in fandom' and it just. never did. i kept getting sucked into friendships that made me feel shit about myself while all the people that seemed to want to be close to me would, for some reason, make me feel uncomfortable. but it was at the point where i was like, okay. what do i really want from a friend? is it the actual object of A Friend or is it what i feel like A Friend would allow me to do? so instead of looking for that Real Best Friend, i started allowing myself to feel like i deserved a Real Best Friend. i stopped deleting my messages even if i thought they were embarrassing, and i stopped worrying that people would think im annoying if i messaged them first, and i stopped being scared of being 'too much' whenever i shared my interests.
and you know what? within two months i GOT that Real Best Friend. within a few more i had Multiple of those Real Best Friends. it's been three years since that shift in my life and it's like All my friends are like my disney channel bff friends -- they genuinely care about me, they genuinely like me as a person, they invite me to their houses, they cook for me, they buy me random things when they think of me, and most of all they make me love myself more, when for my entire life the trade off for a friendship always felt like i had to hate myself a little.
idk. i just think it's worth remembering that the feeling of something is the most important thing to strive for. a thing without feeling is nothing
Hey, you're being lied to about what fitness constitutes. If you can't work in an hour-long crossfit slog, but you can work in a five-minute walk, then that is still fitness. If you can't use your legs but you can do arm circles every now and again, that is still fitness. If you're moving around at work, that's still fitness. It can be intentional or incidental, but here's the best part: your body doesn't care if you're dedicating specific work-out times. It doesn't care if the "only" fitness it gets is your nine to five on your feet. It doesn't care, fitness is fitness is fitness. Some of us do it differently, but the end result is more or less similar.
If you can do any type of fitness safely, your body isn't going to care if you're doing it like an Olympic athlete or if you're just a casual.
the other thing too is that losing weight is NOT a neutral action in the same way that being fat is.
what do I mean by that?
well, it is morally neutral in that no one should be judging you for wanting to lose weight & wanting to lose weight does not make you a bad person
however. it's not a neutral action. in the same way that feminists critique the beauty industry and makeup and constantly get replies like "but I LIKE wearing makeup!!!!" that completely miss the point. that's sort of the same thing happening when fat activists/people that advocate for fat liberation point out the flaws in diet culture and get "but I NEED to lose weight for (xyz "good" reasons) are you saying I'm a bad person?" that completely miss the point.
in an ideal world, people could lose and gain weight without a single bat of an eye. but we don't live in that world. not only is it scientifically proven that most people CANNOT sustainably keep weight they've lost off (and no, not due to lack of self control) and that losing weight (especially rapidly) can have some huge health consequences, but, more relevantly, these ideas of weight and health and beauty are SO tangled up in fatphobia and western beauty standards that it's nigh impossible to reach some Enlightened State where your reason for weight loss is untouched by it.
you want to lose weight to "be healthier?" who told you you were unhealthy? was it your doctor? doctors that routinely suggest fat patients lose weight for every complaint ever including the common cold or a broken bone? was it society telling you being fat is unhealthy even though you ARE healthy? and if you're Not healthy, do you know for sure it's your weight? because thin people can also have high cholesterol and heart problems. there's other ways to fix these things that don't involve weight loss to dangerous degrees, but doctors are already so up their own ass about fat people that they probably didn't discuss anything with you other than "lose weight." does that mean no fat person ever is unhealthy because they're fat? no. but it Does mean that that reason is so tangled up in fatphobia that 100% stating you're free of diet culture when you say it just is Not accurate
you want to lose weight to "feel better about yourself"? well this one's easy and won't be as long as the last. why do you feel that way? who taught you that being fat is something to feel bad about? if you lived 500 years ago before diet culture, would you feel pressure to lose weight to feel better about yourself?
and none of this is to say you CAN'T chose to lose weight. it's your body. you can do whatever the fuck you want with it, good or bad. but when people talk about fatphobia and fat liberation and your first response is "oh but I'm losing weight for the GOOD reasons" stop yourself. ask if that's relevant to the conversation. ask yourself if those reasons ARE neutral. if they're tied to health, body image (including dysphoria!), or how other people perceive you? the answer is no
01. Heart of Spring - david arkenstone | 02. Cé Hé Mise Le Ulaingt? / The Two Trees - loreena mckennit | 03. Pussywillows, Cat-tails - gordon lightfoot | 04. Maybe Tomorrow - f&m | 05. Don't Stop Me Now - queen | 06. I Was Born Under a Wand'rin' Star - bryn terfel | 07. A Tenuous Bond - derek duke | 08. Closer - nine inch nails | 09. Into the Darkness - jeremy soule | 10. Colorblind - counting crows | 11. Natural Light - ludovico einaudi | 12. Under the Greenwood Tree - royal shakespeare company | 13. The Grove - bear mccreary | 14. Blood Upon the Snow - hozier & bear mccreary | 15. A Quiet Darkness - houses | 16. Spellplague - alderfall | 17. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - jonathan antoine | 18. Only Everyone Can Judge Me - crywank | 19. Blue Skies - kathryn calder | 20. The Buzzard - old blind dogs | 21. Constant Craving - k.d. lang | 22. The Cave - mumford and sons | 23. Jim Cain - bill callahan | 24. I Won't Back Down - johnny cash | 25. The Ash Grove - laura wright | 26. The Wind - yusuf/cat stevens | 27. To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuarithe) - hozier | 28. The Logical Song - supertramp | 29. Tapestry - don mclean | 30. Big Yellow Taxi - joni mitchell | 31. Eat Your Young (Bekon's Choral Version) - hozier | 32. The Flock - david maxxim micic | 33. Changes - david bowie | 34. Ri Na Cruinne - clanaad | 35. The Moments of Happiness - ken page | 36. My Back Pages - the byrds | 37. If This Journey - tom hanford | 38. Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There is a Season) - Live - pete seeger
I was going to make an advertisement for this with bright colors and maybe animated sparkles but 1) I hate making ads and 2) we are all so exhausted by bright ads vying for our brain chemicals that I just don’t want to do that to you anymore!!!! I’m TIRED of things grabbing for my attention in an unending assault on my senses and I’m sure you are too!!!!!!!
if you’ve been doom-scrolling and need a break (a nice beverage, a stretch of the legs, etc.), take this as a sign to do so now. if you’ve got the energy for a little reading, though, and want to learn about my work - keep going!
ANYWAYS I’ll get to the point: ALL of my patreon benefits are now available to the lowest ($3) tier.
in fact, there ARE no other tiers anymore. they’re gone! scrunched! smunshed! stirred up all together into one big super tier soup of everything I offer now and will offer in the future!
everyone now gets:
over 100 4k desktop wallpapers
early access/wips
25% discounts on prints
livestream voice chat
art votes & art suggestions
commission slots
and access to the Art Grotto discord, a friendly and chill server with a small community of creative folks. we share art, writing, pets, memes, and also come up with fun art ideas together! 🌈
why am I smushing the tiers and giving up the higher pledge amounts?!
because capitalism sucks, we’re in a recession, and I’m lucky enough to have a full-time job that allows me to make art without being reliant on Patreon income. anyone who has sat in on one of my livestreams knows that I try to be a calming force in an often-chaotic world, and that I’m always looking for ways to make art more accessible to everyone. I want my Patreon to be a place where I can give back to those who are supporting me in this mission!
this tier smush is just the start of how I hope to transform this space! I have a bunch of fun ideas about stuff I want to do in the future, so keep an eye out for more announcements like this 👁
that’s all!!!! thank you if you’ve read this far, and here’s the link to the Patreon if any of this interested you!
Hey I just wanted to ask a writer question. I really admire your writing and the amount of work and dedication you put into your stories and characters. You are one of my favourite authors ever. I have been wanting to get into writing and I was wondering how you flesh out your characters? For example you have a character that you’ve thought out, do you have a template that you fill in? Or just write a whole bunch of points about the character in a Google doc? I know that question might not make the most sense but I have a few characters that I’ve given quirks and backstories in my mind but I have no idea how to transfer them onto paper? Like Jane from TRT, is there just a big template or doc where you randomly put points into or some other type of organization? I know it’s not an easy thing to answer on text or even something you might not want to answer but even one sentence of advice is much appreciated :) Thank you so much for everything! I appreciate you. I will also put this into the ask thingy if you want to answer on there instead of PM 😁
I've managed to hammer this out in bits and pieces over the moments I've been more coherent so I think I'll make sense. First, thank you so, so, so much! I honestly love these characters so I'm always happy to hear someone likes it, even if I enjoy the work! 😭
Second - I do in fact have a template in doc form that I use to keep things organized! It's one I've been using since I took a novel writing course years ago by a published author, and in one particular class we went over character development, which is where I learned the template. The way I was taught (and the way I develop major characters) - first, even before filling in the template, I figure out their archetype(s). What story role are they filling? Who will they be a foil for? I like to think of those as your foundation, because every character is an archetype of some kind, and you can use that to build them up. To use Jane as an example, she's an antihero archetype, yes, but I've also pulled elements from: the Unscrupulous Hero, the Sympathetic Murderer, the Combat Pragmatist, and the Ineffectual Loner. Compared to Matt's hero archetype, she's the Lancer. Archetypes can help you if you're struggling to build up from the bottom.
Once I have the archetype, I start filling in the Major Character/Hero template, which roughly looks like this (if you don't fill it all right away, that's fine, because there's a step after this to fill it in the rest of the way). I like this one because I feel like it covers VERY important things that a lot of online character profiles skip, and has much less of a focus on looks (which I find way less important from a writing perspective):
Name:
Age:
Family History:
Career:
Physical Description: (include things like scars, notable or unusual features)
Preferred Style of Clothing: (instead of listing brands, try to instead describe their style of clothing as it relates to their character - ex: Jane wears upper-end pantsuits in muted colors when meeting clients, because they carry a strong emphasis on professionalism; when hunting things down, she wears what is practical over anything to do with aesthetic)
Goal: (every character should have one; what are they trying to do?)
Motivation: (WHY do they want that goal?)
Big Secret: (if it were Jane, it'd be what happened in Los Angeles; so what are they hiding? Keeping to themselves?)
Self-image: (How do they see themselves? Are they confident and secure? Insecure and depressed?)
Internal Conflict: (what are they struggling with?)
Game: (What's some little game they enjoy?)
Pet: (if applicable)
Temptation: (what's aaaalways going to lure them in?)
Vehicle: (if applicable; alternatively, how do they prefer to get around?)
What makes them unique: (our fake post-apocalyptic character we made as a class had his teeth sharpened into points to scare people; Jane is often fidgeting with threads; just anything that stands out)
How do they speak: (do they speak very precisely? Use lots of slang? Do they have an accent?)
Quote: (What quote sums them up, or what quote do they relate to most? I have an entire folder of these for Jane tbh, and some for Ciro as well)
Lesson Learned: (All characters should grow in some way, rather than stagnating. So how do they grow? What do they learn through the story?)
Now, this is something I was encouraged to do after the template, and also something I was already doing on my own. Once you have the template as finished as you feel comfortable with, you might feel like you need to develop the character a little further to fill in the rest, or solidify what you already have. The way you can do that? Write something short with this character. It doesn't have to be anything you need to post; it can be based on a short scene, based on a prompt, things like that. I like dumping them into: humorous scenarios, angsty scenarios, and Action Oriented (TM) scenes. Those really help you get into the meat of the character (aka: how they react to teasing/flirting/jokes; how they react to strong emotion; how they react in situations that might cause panic). Basically, it's your way of introducing yourself to them and becoming more comfortable writing them, because often a character might act a certain way in a cold, rigid template, but behave entirely differently once you drop them into a scene. Alternatively, you might get to writing and realize you need to make an adjustment so that they have better chemistry with the other characters. Writing a new character's a dance, and you're both going to step on each other's toes in the beginning, but once you learn how they move, it gets easier. And it helps them develop and grow as you learn about them!
Our world is becoming increasingly filled with distraction. Information moves faster, louder, and brighter than ever before. Entertainment, social media, and marketing have never been so prevalent. They beg for our attention and our focus. In so doing, our minds are diverted from more important work.
However, these distractions are easy to notice. After all, the battle plays out in front of us each day.
Far more detrimental to our lives are the subtle distractions that quietly surround us. They are not announced with blinking lights or beeping sounds. In fact, they have become so commonplace and ever-present, we hardly even notice their existence. But these distractions take residence in our mind and wreak havoc on our pursuits. And in the end, it keeps us from living our lives to its greatest potential.