#for context the song at the end of mom city had the lyric

[harrumphingtons]

it’s been one year since “Mom City” aired and we were not seen here same time same place next year 🥲🥲🥲

[batsythoughts]

Could I request a plantontic yandere batfam x singer female reader

Context - they got concert tickets, and as they heard the reader ring, it reminded bruce on his mother singing voice

This is adorable and made my heart hurt thinking about Bruce's dead mom. But we cope with delusion in this household! And I tried to keep descriptions to a minimal about outfits so if would be as inclusive as possible for all the readers and styles out there! Also made this a little angsty before the kidnapping because I needed at hurt/comfort really bad, even if it's kinda toxic. But I hope you all enjoy!

Here is Yandere Batfam x Female Singer Reader!

Dick had won a couple of tickets from a radio station... correction, Dick, Stephanie, Duke, and Barbara called different stations multiple times until they won enough tickets for the whole family to go to the concert together

Bruce was initially going to refuse going with the fact that he knew nothing about what the artist was like, but the kids were able to convince him after an hour of debating

The day of the concert, they arrived to find the venue filled with only half of what the maximum capacity was

Dick just shrugged it off when Bruce asked about it, saying it was because you were still somewhat new to the whole music scene

They stood around in their spots somewhat close to the stage while waiting for the show to start

Bruce still felt unsure about the whole situation as he watched the kids excitedly take group pictures

He always smiled when they had him in the picture, but still held internal doubts about enjoying the style of music that this singer used

It also didn't help his concerns with the fact that he could clearly see the empty spaces in the venue

Damian also looked around with a small scowl at the empty spaces before looking up at his father with skepticism in his expression as well

When the singer finally walked out onto the stage, Bruce's older children let out loud cheers while he and Damian respectfully clapped

The introduction was short with an acknowledgement of the people and happy wave before the show started

The kids happily sang along with the songs as they danced in the spots they had with eagerness

Bruce nodded along with them, though he didn't quite seem to understand the deeper meaning of the lyrics that he knew was in a few of the songs

The most important thing was that all the kids were enjoy themselves and having fun together at this concert

It was the final song when Bruce felt a tug on his heartstrings at the slow melody and melancholy words that sounded through the speakers

He went back to his childhood when his mother would sing a lullaby to him when Bruce was upset or couldn't go to sleep

The girls noticed the miniature grin that appeared on Bruce's face as the song got close to the end

They all applauded with more loud cheers to the performer gave a small bow with a wide grin

"Thank you, wonder citizens of Gotham! I really appreciated singing for you all tonight." You cheerfully spoke into the microphone. Slowly walking around the stage while looking at everyone in the audience. "And I'm glad to spend the next few days performing here. So if you see me around the city, feel free to come up and say hi!"

Stephanie and Barbara hollered in encouragement at the news while Duke and Jason whistled and clapped. Everything was going well in the whole venue until a some guy a few rows behind them yelled at the top of his lungs. "Kill yourself, talentless bitch!"

Most of the people around the area started loudly scolding the guy, the boys included as the girls made sure to hold them back

Bruce kept his eyes on you as he watched your smile falter as you looked down

He could feel the sadness radiating off you as you took a moment to breathe before raising the mic and speaking in a soft voice, "Alright then, have a goodnight Gotham."

They all turned back around to watch you quickly walk off the stage without the excited energy you had at the start

Bruce made sure to stay behind a few minutes longer than necessary

He didn't want them getting into a yelling match in the parking lot if they caught a glimpse of the guy

They each got an souvenirs to keep as a momento of the night before leading everyone out to the car to return to the manor

He had just unlocked the doors when a car pulled into the parking lot and stopped a little ways away from them

Before any of them got in the car, the door opened and you stepped out and headed towards the door

The kids shared individual looks before briskly walking over to catch up to you, Bruce even joining them after a moment

"Hey! Wait up!" Jason hollered as they all finally caught up to you. Though they did stop a few feet away to give you space.

You turned around while wiping your cheeks with your jacket sleeve. Forcing a weak smile to your face as you looked at each of them. "Hey. How are you all doing? Having a good night, I hope."

Duke nodded his head as his arms crossed over his chest. A glint of concern in his eyes as he looked you over. "We're doing good. We were just about to leave for the night."

Barbara nodded along as she took a step closer. Her voice holding a cheerful note when she spoke, "Yeah! The show was fantastic and you have such amazing songs."

"Thank you. I'm glad you all enjoyed yourselves tonight." You tell them all with a absent-minded nod. Rubbing your arms before looking at the ground. "I'm sorry the end sucked though."

"That wasn't your fault, so don't apologize." Dick cut in with a soft, but firm, tone. Shaking his own head as he crossed his arms. "That guy had no right to say that to you."

"Are you alright?" Damian asked, a touch of tenderness in his eyes as he looked upon your form.

You give a hesitant nod to the young boys question. "I'll be okay. Just have to get through the next couple days and then I'm taking a break. Spend some time out of the public eye, figure out some new songs, and just figure a few things out."

Bruce took notice of the pain in your eyes, even though you weren't looking right at him. He knew it well from seeing it so many times in his own children. He took a moment to find the right words before finally speaking up.

"You do have a great talent. It is shameful that not everyone can acknowledge that without being understanding of your emotions. We are all sorry that you experienced that hatred tonight."

The moment you looked at Bruce, with what he could only describe as pleading eyes, he felt his heart tug. Placing a hand on your shoulder, Bruce gave you a gentle smile while reencouraging your confidence. "You did great tonight. We, along with almost every else that saw the show tonight, thought your music was amazing."

The look in your eyes with the glow of the street lights softening as you give a final nod. Finally giving them all a small, genuine smile. "Thank you. I appreciate the kind words." Looking over the group, you bite your lips before hesitantly asking, "Is there anything I can do to show my thanks?"

Most of them started to deny the idea, even dismissively waving their hands. "Actually," the voice of Stephanie cut in as she reached into her pocket, "do you think we could get a picture?"

One picture turned into a couple with each of them before Bruce eventually got everyone in the car

They hadn't even gotten home before Tim and Steph had seen you post on multiple platforms about taking a break after the end of your current tour

What seemed worse to them was the fact that all the comments were mixed with encouragement for the decision along with more disheartening messages for you to simply quit

Bruce clearly told everyone that they wouldn't involve themselves in the online drama

They each hesitantly agreed before letting their attention drift to other topics

The next couple days went by like usual for the family, but the kids did occasionally checked each time you posted to make sure everything was alright

How could they not still feel that little nagging worry in the back of their minds? You were a good person, even if they didn't know you all that well

Occasionally, Bruce would hum one of your songs to himself and one of the other members would hear

They never said anything about it until one night at dinner, Alfred asked him what was intriguing about the singer they saw perform

When Bruce finally admitted that your voice reminded him of his late mother

All the kids shared a look as they realized that Bruce was feeling an emotional connection towards you

With it being the last night of your tour, Dick, Barbara, and Duke all decided to go to the venue in hopes of getting Bruce an autograph while the others kept him distracted

They had pulled into the parking lot as all the cars had begun to leave with the exception of a few, including the one they remembered watching you drive

They waited for a few minutes before watching you and a couple others come walking out

They watched you all share a few words before the others got in a car and drove off, leaving you alone

Each of them waited for a moment before leaving the car and cautiously walking over to you

Each hesitated being the first one to call out to you as you simply stood there with your head down

"Hey. Are you alright?" Barbara finally called out in a soft voice. The boys standing close by with equal concern as they watched you.

You lifted your head up in surprise at the sudden appearance of the people in front of you. Rubbing your hand over your face before nodding your head. "Yeah, just... my manager and I had creative differences on what I should do with my next few months. So he decided he would give me a card for someone else for when I wanted to get back in the game."

Dick scoffed at the action of your 'manager'. Crossing his arms as he glares in the direction the car went in. "Some people, huh? Can't even see you as anything more than a way to get rich." A grunt of disapproval leaves his throat before looking at you with softer eyes. "Are you alright?"

"I will be. Just figuring out what to do for the night," you admit to them with a sigh. "I can't go back to the hotel and have them continue the disagreements. Do you all know of a nice motel nearby?"

"Absolutely not." Duke immediately shot down the idea with a frown. Dick and Barbara nod along in agreement at the thought of you in this town by yourself. "However... the manor has plenty of room. I'm sure it would be fine if you stayed for one night."

You looked at them with a small bit of shock at the offer before waving your hand in a dismissive manner. "I couldn't do that. I don't even know you all that well. I can't impose you all like that."

"Don't worry about that. We wouldn't offer if we didn't want to," Dick reassures you with a smile. Getting his keys out of his pocket again before walking towards their car. "We can stop by your hotel and Duke and I will go to your room to grab your things."

Which grab your things they do, with Barbara waiting in the car with you as she texts the others to inform them of the situation. The boys don't take longer than 15 before coming back and putting your things in the trunk.

When they get back to the manor, Damian is waiting for them in the entry way. His arms crossed as he glared at his older siblings. "Father knows you were gone. You need to tell him what you did." He then turned his attention towards you with a small nod. "I can show you to an available room."

You followed after the young boy with Duke carrying some of your things. Barbara gave Dick a pat on his shoulder. "Good luck with that. I'm going to grab some comfort food and drinks for our guest."

Dick stood there for a moment until he gave a sigh and made his way to Bruce's study. Finding the man sitting in his chair as if he was waiting for one of the kids. Closing the door, Dick waited a minute before finally speaking, "So, we were trying to do a thing."

Bruce listened patiently as Dick explained the whole situation. Rubbing his temple before standing to go and look for you in the room Damian had helped Alfred prepare less than an hour ago. When he got there, he saw all the girls lounging around with you resting on the bed.

He made eye contact with you before sending you a comforting smile. "You are welcome to stay as long as you need. There is bad storms coming through in the next few days, so don't worry about rushing to find a flight if you don't feel comfortable traveling in the weather."

You gave him a small smile before looking back down at your lap. Bruce looked at the girls who all smiled to show they would look after you. Stephanie was picking out different nail polish colors and holding them up for everyone else to see when she spoke, "Girls night. We'll get you if we need anything."

Bruce quietly closed the door behind him after telling them goodnight

He made sure to tell the boys to be on their best behavior while you were staying

None of them seemed to mind as Dick had informed them of what happened and how you were feeling from the ordeal

They all made sure to treat you well over the couple of days while you stayed

Each of them did their own thing to show that they wanted you to feel comfortable and welcome

Cass and Steph baked cookies with you, Jason read his books as you and Damian listened with the cat on dog relaxing with you, Dick would show you fun memes to make you smile, Tim and Duke invited you to movie nights, and Barbara made sure to do a nightly skin care routine to help calm you down every night before bed

It was about a week since you came to stay, and all the kids were worried because you had begun packing your things

Bruce had seen how anxious they were with idea of you leaving, and he himself also felt the worry deep in his chest

He went to your room with the intention of talking to you, finding you sitting on the bed while looking through your phone

He sat down on the bed next to you, seeing you looking through flight times with a message from who they all learned to be your ex-manager

He didn't read it all before you swiped it off the screen with a sniffle, but he saw enough to get the idea of how hurtful the whole message was

He made a small suggestion about you staying with them for a while until things got better

You made a comment about not wanting to impose on them and over staying your welcome

Bruce pulled you into a hug while saying, "We want you to have a system of people you can trust. And if that means you stay with us, then we want to do that for you."

Nothing else was said as you both sat there as you closed the tab for the flight tickets, weakly thanking Bruce as tears pricked the corner of your eyes

You both just sat for a couple before Bruce got up to give you space and inform the others of the new development

All the kids felt excitement for the fact you were staying, but didn't show it so you didn't think they were glad for your misfortune

Everyone continued to show you unconditional support, especially when you started to begin writing songs once again

Though they could tell you were struggling with figuring out the instruments of each song

Tim was able to convince Bruce to buy you a few programs on the computer they had put in your room

The grin that they saw after you began to look through the programs made the family feel the joy with you

Each time you got a new song composed, you played it for the family and get their thoughts of what could potentially be improved

Each time, they gave honest thoughts of the songs while keeping it as supportive of your feelings

You did single releases after every song got written to still remain in the music scene, but the family could tell something was off

Bruce eased into the topic one night at dinner between all the other conversations

At first you hesitated to open up, but with a little encouragement, you finally admitted to being worried about your career with the fact you were doing any live performances

Everyone listened to your worries about what to do for the foreseeable future

Jason was the one to finally ask the most important question for your choice

"Do you think you would be okay if you ever did another tour?"

You thought for a moment as you thought about all the possibilities of what could happen if you did a tour again

Finally, you shook your head as a mumble came from your mouth. "I don't think I could survive another tour like the one I had. But I don't want to burden you all."

Bruce shot down the notion of you being a burden, claiming they would never leave you alone to deal with everything by yourself

Everyone else chimed in with agreement as they talked about they would worry if you every left and got in the same state of mind again

Bruce stated that not matter what, you would always be welcome to remain with the family because you were now apart of it

A flicker of a grin appeared at the corner of your lip before you gave a nod in understanding

Each of them felt a sense of accomplishment for making you feel relaxed enough to remain with them, even if there was a tiny voice in their heads saying it was selfish to keep you in the manor

What did it matter anyway if you were happy with people who cared about you? The important thing was that you were safe with them.

[toshiakikijima]

I was re-reading Maki's second season, and I was confused about why he looked so familiar; I took it with a grain of salt. However, recently, I started to listen to The Beatles. I really love "Strawberry Fields Forever" and "Hey Jude." They're truly good songs from the lords of British rock, but each song has its own stories told for people to follow through.

In Maki's second season, when his ex-wife came back into the picture, Tachibana recommended a John Lennon song, "(Just Like) Starting Over," when Maki and the MC started to go back to their old habits of meeting during Fridays nights. Was it only for Maki's sexual sanity? Who knows. This song literally foreshadows their relationship on how they need to start over. "Why don't we take off alone?/Take a trip somewhere far, far away/We'll be together all alone again." Between the end of the second season and the epilogue, "The Morning After," Maki and the MC are in a grey area in their relationship, literally starting over. (I am assuming that they have been together more than a year in his second season compared to the original LC's six-month relationship status.)

From the lyrics I took, in "The Morning After," they take a trip to rehabilitate their love in the City of Love and close wounds that have been affecting them. Such a beautiful reference during that period, right? But something that surprised me was Maki's childhood. Maki's parents never got along and basically divorced when he was younger. Something that also reflects in Kusai's background. His parents divorced because his mom was paranoid about his dad's mistresses and affairs. However, in Maki's story; his parents went their own ways and left him alone as a child (a big plot in season 3). In the song "Hey Jude," Paul McCartney wrote that song for John Lennon's first son, Julian Lennon because he felt bad for children whose parents went through divorce.

I feel like Maki listened to that song when he was younger because of how much he related to the context behind the song. Tachibana and Maki basically lived for each other when they attended the same school and had the same interests. It is head canon that Tachibana introduced The Beatles to Maki when they started to hang out more as they got older in a way to get him to open himself and stop messing with his head. There are many songs that reflect parts of Maki's written life, so Voltage's writers are not slick with the things they publish. Also, in the panel where Maki was young, he has that 1960s John Lennon hairstyle that was definitely not popular when they were in middle school/high school during the 1990s (if you go through one of Tachibana's VIP stories, he said that he wasn't born in the 1980s; so I am more confused about their age frame).

Also, I forgot to add, but John Lennon beat his wife. Wasn't Maki also accused of abusing his first wife?

[devilbombers]

Music Rambles: the drakeNieR series ost

I'm not even kidding I would have never given this game a chance if it weren't for the ost

even though i was complete ass at art I used to stream art a lot when i was around 15 and I can't really remember what I was talking about in the chat or who I was talking to in particular (AND TO THIS DAY I STILL REALLY WISH I KNEW WHO IT WAS PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHO YOU ARE) but somebody suggested I play the nier series.

again I was 15 and obviously carrying zero paper, so I still recall only just watching gameplay videos at first. Having never encountered such a unique type of storytelling and being easily worn out by older games at the time I was already seconds from dropping the game just from the beginning.

It was entirely the music that captivated me more than anything. I was so taken aback by how unique the vocals are and the gorgeousness of the orchestra i had to keep going. It was song of the ancients that kept me on. I was so curious about the completely unorthodox language of the vocals i kept moving on with the game to hear more.

I love the nier ost so much because it really goes to show lyrics seriously dosent matter when it comes to music. if it sounds good; it sounds good and i sincerely think people should stop pretending understanding the language or lyrics matters.

This soundtrack is exceedingly special to me as well for the fact it transcends understanding. it dosent even matter if you know the context, the music is so masterfully composed you know what emotion it vividly illustrates nonetheless. case in point; my mom often witnesses me stream it and constantly asks me "why are you listening to such sad music all the time"

This is probably a given sidenote, but I absolutely hated the soundtrack for the first Drakengard game. It actually feels like my head is repeatidly being struck with an iron pipe. They had to replace the composer for a reason, the reception for the first game was so bad because of the music they had to make sure the soundtrack was good in the new games.

Anyways, I absolutely love Keiichi Okabe and all the vocalists. But of course especially Emi Evans. Clearly a vessel of god with a voice like that; to me I think she's too good for this buisness to be honest lmao.

My favorite songs in order

NieR

out of all the games; I think the original nier soundtrack is the most memorable.

Kaine's salvation

Ashes of dreams

Song of the ancients

Grandma

Shadowlord's castle

Emil sacrifice

Repose

This dream

His dream

The ultimate weapon

Cold steel coffin

The incomplete stone

The wretched automatons

Blu-bird

Nier Automata

personally i think it pales a lot in comparison to the original soundtrack because i think a lot of the songs lack replayability. But i still like it a lot don't get me wrong!

Voice of no return

Peaceful Sleep

Fortress of Lies

Pascal

Vague Hope

Blissful Death

Wretched Weaponry

A Beautiful Song

Weight of the world

City Ruins

Amusement Park

Mourning

Emil's shop

Drakengard 3

Honest to god i kind of really hated this game but I think the characters are kind of funny and there are some story elements worth salvaging so I can't really say I hated it all the way. Love or hate it, the soundtrack was IMMACULATE

probably the best of all the soundtracks in terms of production. I feel very strongly that the compose went the hardest on this one

Kuroi Uta

Empty Tone

Fallen god

Leap wishes - Egrigori (Two's song)

The Comrade's Song - Abdiel (One's song)

Thirteenth Chapter

Leaf of chaos

The upcoming battle - Armaros (Four's song)

The rising fool - Galgaliel (Five's song)

Redeemed Invasion - Almisael (Three's song)

better end

[multimetaverse]

HSMTMTS 2x06 Review

Yes, And was a messy ep that brings us to the halfway point of the season. Let’s dig in!

Tonight took some big steps towards the Rini breakup. The conflict isn’t quite earned as they did too much too quickly in making Ricky overbearing; to go from Ricky supporting Nini going to YAC and them singing love songs to each other just 3 eps ago to Ricky now accusing Nini of changing because she didn’t get pineapple on her pizza just doesn’t work. Largely that’s because it’s clear that the writers are working backwards from an outline that requires Rini to be broken up before the finale.

The Rose song is great and Olivia’s vocals are wonderful as always but again it’s not quite earned. The lyrics make it seem like Nini thinks Ricky is holding her on a pedestal and holding her back when that’s not what we’ve seen on screen. Ricky and Nini went through a lot as they were finding their way back to each other and they learned not to see each other through rose coloured glasses and while Ricky was sad that Nini went to YAC he was supportive and respected her wishes, notably the only time he admitted how much he wanted Nini to come back to Salt Lake was after Nini had already made up her mind to return.

Rini was always going to break up both because writers struggle with writing happy or stable couples and because Tim became enamoured of Rina after writing 1x05 and will want to explore them at some point. Tim’s claimed that he has future seasons all planned out but I’m skeptical that he’s really thought out how to keep Ricky and Nini and Gina on goodish terms with each other for the remaining 2 seasons of the show while also not completely closing the door on the Rini endgame the show’s been aiming towards since the pilot.

It’s clear that Ricky has unresolved issues from his mom effectively abandoning him which are impairing all his relationships. And while it’s true he could try calling Lynne it’s the parents job to reach out and she is obviously fine living her life without Ricky. Not sure how much closure we can get with Lynne when she comes back in 2x09 but I hope we at least get an apology on her part.

Yet another ep of Gina going through it. That flashback to Gina tearfully telling Ricky that she wouldn’t have ‘’given up on us’’ if she hadn’t moved certainly paints Ricky’s behaviour this season in a worse light. I do hope the show doesn’t take the cowards way out and have Ricky being too stupid to realize that Gina had romantic feelings for him. Though again we run into the problem that these emotions aren’t fitting the story. There really wasn’t an ‘us’ for Gina to fight for, she and Ricky had only been hanging from 1x05-1x08 and never actually dated or went on dates. Also by this point Gina should be questioning her feelings for Ricky and whether he’s worth it; it’s not like he’s done anything nice for her this season like getting her chocolates for Valentine’s Day. 

Still Gina did make some strides tonight. She finally opened up to Ashlyn which seems to have lifted a weight off of her shoulders and makes the decision to stay in Salt Lake. She also brushes off Ricky wanting to be improv partners which leads to her accepting EJ’s offer which led to a sweet callback to them being wonderstudies. I’m glad she’s not going to Louisiana but it does mean we were robbed of a HSMTMTS/Secrets of Sulphur Springs crossover. 

Kourtney and Howie are finally together. I’m glad they didn’t waste time dragging this out. Kourtney’s confession was very in character and I liked the earlier hufflepuff dragging. As an aside I wonder if say 10 years in the future, shows will still be making light hearted unqualified references to Harry Potter or will J.K. Terfling have completely destroyed the goodwill the series has by then.

Lily continues to act as if she’s in Glee working for Sue Sylvester to take down the One Directions and honestly I’m here for it. I especially liked that she stole some of the condiments on her way out of Salt Lake Slices. Antoine seems alright, the espionage bit was funny. Seems like Salt Lake City would be a pretty shitty place for a French student to study.

EJ remains underused especially since this is his last semester as a student. His Gaston answer was surprisingly thoughtful and hinted at him getting over Nini with Gina as he sat down next to her. His may I have this exercise was just the right amount of smooth and goofy. 

Ashlyn had a good ep, she killed Home, Julia has a great voice. And she stood her ground with Gina but was also there for her and managed to help her decide to stay. Loved her line that she was still part Caswell.

Mike Bowen is sweet, thoughtful, and rocking that beard? Must have been hard for Miss. Jenn to let him go but ultimately she made the right decision as it would just be too messy to date the parent of one of your students.

Lots of funny little moments this ep; the camera panning to the exit sign during Gina’s confessional, the group chat with Miss. Jenn and the real group chat without her, Seb hula-hooping with wild abandon. 

Looking Ahead:

Well we’re now at the official halfway mark of the season. It’s been an uneven first half, lots of pacing issues, and clear signs of the covid pandemic impacting production. Disney + has announced that future seasons of Disney + originals will be released on Wednesdays from now on so we have that to look forward to for S3 and S4.

Carlos uploading the Rose song will inevitably lead to disaster. Nini is very right to tell Kourtney not to let Ricky know, the lyrics paint him in a very bad light. The song gives us more context for why Lily said to Ricky that his gf needed some space in the trailer. I suspect Lily will end up being the party crasher that Ricky re-evaluates in 2x12, I don’t think Tim is going to keep Lily as a one dimensional antagonist this entire season. 

Ricky said in 2x01 that he’s never breaking up with Nini again and I think that’s true because Nini will break up with him. I think it comes before 2x12, maybe them exploring an old haunt in 2x08 is where it happens though the description for 2x11 also sounds like it could be hinting at a Rini breakup.

Well we now know what one of the secrets rising between Gina and Nini will be in 2x10, Nini was already jealous of Gina and Ricky in S1 and I doubt she’ll enjoy hearing that Gina confessed to Ricky in 1x10. Since Gina has already confessed to Ricky it makes it less likely that her speaking her truth in 2x12 is related to her and Ricky. 

EJ and Gina doing the morning announcements starts next ep, that should be fun. Especially since Mazzara is aware of EJ’s feelings for Gina. There’s a pretty clear path to end the season with Portwell or at least set it up for S3. EJ already likes Gina, the announcements help bring them closer, Gina starts getting over Ricky and realizes that EJ puts her first,  maybe Mazzara helps one or both of them at the cast party, and Gina shares her truth and confesses to EJ. So far the show hasn’t done anything it can’t pull back from but sooner or later the writing will have to commit one way or the other. One thing I’ll say is that it’s already clear that making EJ a senior was a big mistake and I expect it to cause a lot more problems for the show in the remaining two seasons.

There’s also a path for Ricky and Gina to get together but that seems less likely given the clear mess Ricky is right now. Seeing his mom in 2x09 probably helps a bit but it’s hard to see how any relationship Ricky gets into won’t swiftly crash and burn. There’s also the matter of when exactly Rini break up, if it’s too late in the season then there wouldn’t be time to jump right into Rina. There’s also the matter of the unexpected facetime call he gets in 2x10 and the party crasher he re-evaluates in 2x12. Even if they’re not linked it does suggest there will be some curveballs in Ricky’s story and at least the party crasher info suggests there’s some non Rini or Rina related twist being planned for Ricky in 2x12. 

Until next week Wildcats

[gabrielkahane]

Heirloom

Short form:

Heirloom (concerto for piano & chamber orchestra) premieres with Jeffrey Kahane & the Kansas City Symphony under the baton of Michael Stern, September 24-26. Tickets are here.

I’ll play a solo show at Rockwood Music Hall on Tuesday, September 28th. My dear friend and colleague, Johnny Gandelsman, will open with a solo violin set. Johnny’s on at 7pm, I’ll go on around 8pm. Tickets are $20 and are here. This will be my only NYC appearance this year!

Applications for Luna Lab with Oregon Symphony are now open! If you are a female-identifying, non-binary, or gender-nonconforming composer between the ages of 12 and 18, and live in Portland or Southeast Washington, please apply for your chance to study for a year with the incredible Nathalie Joachim!

Long form:

Several years ago, my friend Eric Jacobsen started pestering me about writing a piano concerto for my father, Jeffrey Kahane. It was an intriguing (and natural!) idea, but I kept putting it off in large part because I’ve never felt comfortable with large-scale instrumental composition. I think of myself first and foremost as a songwriter, and while I love to write for instruments in the context of vocal music, I feel almost entirely unmoored when voice & text are taken away. But Eric was persistent, and, well, here we are. Next month, the Kansas City Symphony will open its season with Heirloom, after which the piece will be heard in the coming years in performances presented by the co-commissioners who’ve rounded out the consortium: the Oregon Symphony, the Aspen Music Festival, the Los Angeles Chamber Orchestra, the St. Paul Chamber Orchestra, and Eric’s Brooklyn-based group, The Knights.

Heirloom is an aural family scrapbook, exploring, in its three movements, a series of inheritances. I’m incredibly excited to witness its birth September 24-26 in Kansas City. You can find the program note I’ve written to accompany its premiere at the end of this email.

The following Tuesday, September 28th, I will play my first concert in New York City since our lives were individually and collectively turned upside down by the pandemic. Most of the evening will be devoted to a new slate of songs drawn from thirty-one composed in October of 2020, the final month of a year-long, complete internet hiatus. Johnny Gandelsman, violinist of Brooklyn Rider, opens with what promises to be a ravishing solo set. Tickets are here.

Lastly, in 2019, I took on the position of Creative Chair with the Oregon Symphony. I’m very pleased to announce that this season, we’ve begun a partnership with Luna Lab, the brainchild of composers Missy Mazzoli and Ellen Reid. Luna Composition Lab offers mentorship and professional training to female-identifying, non-binary, and gender-nonconforming composers between the ages of 12 and 18. We at the Oregon Symphony are incredibly grateful to partner with Luna Lab to offer one student a year-long period of mentorship with Grammy-nominated flutist, composer, and songwriter, Nathalie Joachim, who happens to be one of my all-time favorite humans, and who will be giving the world premiere of Suite from Fanm D’ayiti with the Oregon Symphony in the spring of 2022. What makes this even more amazing is that another all-time favorite human, the violinist Pekka Kuusisto, will be playing Nico Muhly’s concerto Shrink, on the same program. Oh, but we were talking about Luna Lab. If you or someone you know wants to apply, you can find more info & the application form here; you just have to submit one score & a recording (MIDI is acceptable). I will be reviewing submissions along with Nathalie. Applications are due on September 7th.

Obligatory capitalism appeal: I know it’s been a while since I’ve put out new music. It’s coming. I promise. In the meantime, may I remind you about this gorgeous limited edition vinyl record?

That’s it for now, folks. Stay safe. Try to lead with love, even when it’s hard.

All my best,

Gabriel

Heirloom program note:

Tucked away in the northernmost reaches of California sits the Bar 717 Ranch, which, each summer, is transformed into a sleep-away camp on 450 acres of wilderness, where, in 1967, two ten-year-old kids named Martha and Jeffrey met. Within a couple of years, they were playing gigs back in L.A. in folk rock bands with names like “Wilderness” and “The American Revelation.” They fell in love, broke up, fell in love again. By the time I was a child, my mom and dad had traded the guitars, flutes, and beaded jackets for careers in clinical psychology and classical music respectively. But they remained devoted listeners of folk music. Growing up, it was routine for dad to put on a Joni Mitchell record when he took a break from practicing a concerto by Mozart or Brahms. That collision of musical worlds might help to explain the creative path I’ve followed, in which songs and storytelling share the road with the Austro-German musical tradition.

That tradition comes to me through the music I heard as a child, but also through ancestry. My paternal grandmother, Hannelore, escaped Germany at the tail end of 1938, arriving in Los Angeles in early 1939 after lengthy stops in Havana and New Orleans. For her, there was an unspeakable tension between, on the one hand, her love of German music and literature, and, on the other, the horror of the Holocaust. In this piece, I ask, how does that complex set of emotions get transmitted across generations? What do we inherit, more broadly, from our forebears? And as a musician caught between two traditions, how do I bring my craft as a songwriter into the more formal setting of the concert hall?

The first movement, “Guitars in the Attic,” wrestles specifically with that last question, the challenge of bringing vernacular song into formal concert music. The two main themes begin on opposite shores: the first theme, poppy, effervescent, and direct, undergoes a series of transformations that render it increasingly unrecognizable as the movement progresses. Meanwhile, a lugubrious second tune, first introduced in disguise by the French horn and accompanied by a wayward English horn, reveals itself only in the coda to be a paraphrase of a song of mine called “Where are the Arms.” That song, in turn, with its hymn-like chord progression, owes a debt to German sacred music. A feedback loop emerges: German art music informs pop song, which then gets fed back into the piano concerto.

“My Grandmother Knew Alban Berg” picks up the thread of intergenerational memory. Grandma didn’t actually know Alban Berg, but she did babysit the children of Arnold Schoenberg, another German-Jewish émigré, who, in addition to having codified the twelve-tone system of composition, was Berg’s teacher. Why make something up when the truth is equally tantalizing? I suppose it has something to do with wanting to evoke the slipperiness of memory while getting at the ways in which cultural inheritance can occur indirectly. When, shortly after college, I began to study Berg’s Piano Sonata, his music— its marriage of lyricism and austerity; its supple, pungent harmonies; the elegiac quality that suffuses nearly every bar—felt eerily familiar to me, even though I was encountering it for the first time. Had a key to this musical language been buried deep in the recesses of my mind through some kind of ancestral magic, only to be unearthed when I sat at the piano and played those prophetic chords, which, to my mind, pointed toward the tragedy that would befall Europe half a dozen years after Berg’s death?

In this central movement, the main theme is introduced by a wounded-sounding trumpet, accompanied by a bed of chromatic harmony that wouldn’t be out of place in Berg’s musical universe. By movement’s end, time has run counterclockwise, and the same tune is heard in a nocturnal, Brahmsian mode, discomfited by interjections from the woodwinds, which inhabit a different, and perhaps less guileless, temporal plane.

To close, we have a kind of fiddle-tune rondo, an unabashed celebration of childhood innocence. In March of 2020, my family and I were marooned in Portland, Oregon, as the world was brought to its knees by the coronavirus pandemic. Separated from our belongings—and thus all of our daughter’s toys, which were back in our apartment in Brooklyn—my ever resourceful partner, Emma, fashioned a “vehicle” out of an empty diaper box, on which she majusculed the words vera’s chicken-powered transit machine. (Vera had by that point developed a strong affinity for chicken and preferred to eat it in some form thrice daily.) We would push her around the floor in her transit machine, resulting in peals of laughter and squeals of delight. In this brief finale, laughter and joy are the prevailing modes, but not without a bit of mystery. I have some idea of what I have inherited from my ancestors. What I will hand down to my daughter remains, for the time being, a wondrous unknown.

Heirloom is dedicated with love, admiration, gratitude, and awe, to my father, Jeffrey Kahane.

[throwawaythinking]

ERYS

“People love to just talk about me by name and say, "Oh, Jaden Smith this, Jaden Smith that." It’s time for a new awakening and a new consciousness.” - Jaden on his album SYRE, Complex Magazine November 2017

Jaden Christopher Syre Smith was the boy born into the shadow of his father’s fame. However he took his birth into the public eye as an opportunity, not a blessing. Jaden uses music to make a name for himself, fighting to bring his own identity out of the shadows of his famous father. Smith’s second album, ERYS, details Erys emerging from the death of his opposingly naive and Icarus-like self, Syre. Jaden depicts the rise, fall, and conflict of his autobiographical character Erys in four tracks; ‘i-drip-or-is’, ‘Again’, ‘Got It’, and ‘Fire Dept’; these four songs are the centrefold of the entire album, where Erys becomes Syre and Syre becomes Erys. Through Erys’ aggressive and angry flaunting of his perceived power, Jaden explores the recklessness of an overinflated ego. Erys becomes a successful drug dealer for the drug ‘Vision’ in Los Angeles, however the money and power eat away at him as he overestimates his ability to control ‘Vision’. This is assisted by the internal conflict between Erys and Syre, as Syre’s gentle and lost voice wanders throughout the tracks urging Erys to understand that his reckless behaviour won’t fix their problems. The introduction of internal conflict within ERYS expresses the integrity of Jaden’s inner conflicts during the process of finding his true identity, how his polar opposite identities had to converge at a point to create a completed state of being. This conflict is also used to address the taboo of adolescence in relation to drug culture. Jaden’s “strict, hard rap album” is a force to be reckoned with; “every song, back to back, high tempo, a lot of bass like just crazy.”

Without context, Jaden’s music is the amalgamation of the typical hip-hop genre; autotune, models, drugs, cars, power, fame. By manipulating these features, Jaden uses hip-hop to his advantage in creating an egotistical Erys. ‘i-drip-or-is’ boasts;

“LV head to toe, MSFTS necklace on

They be stressin' 'cause I'm reckless and I'm flexin' hard

Flexin' super hard, she a superstar

With the stupid car, and it's supercharged

Rolex, he went to Luther, got my jeweler far”,

luxury brand names flying throughout the first verse, the picture is set. Interestingly, Erys has already acknowledged his tendency to be reckless in the second line, yet the context provides evidence that he believes this to be a good quality. Erys’ ego continues on in the next track, ‘Again’, where Erys talks about his fame, money and power;

“Now the gang got no shit to do, they just a chatterbox

Now I wear a muzzle to the bank, because I laugh a lot

Now I tell the paparazzi "Turn the fucking cameras off"”

gangs are out of the drug business as a result of Erys’ ‘Vision’ drug, he laughs so loud at the bank that they muzzle him, and he is being plastered all over the press. Thanks to Erys’ drug dealing business, he has achieved all facets considered for an individual to be successful. As a result, Erys believes he has solved his problem with his love interest as depicted in ‘Got It’;

“She want that brand new designer, that Louis bandana

I told her I got it

She want that wrist with the water and Virgil the wallet

I told her I got it

She said her ex n**** wildin' and giving her problems

I told her I got it.”

But this is not the end of the story. As Erys parties on top of the world, ‘Vision’ gets the better of him, and we see his collapse in the fastest song on the album, ‘Fire Dept’. Erys’ monotonous voice screams through the electric guitar and banging drums;

“Go fire department, call my mom

Said, "Your son dancin' on fire, it's all night long"

I think I just decided, need a ride home

95 percent, I go hard, still killing the vibe though”,

as he realises he needs urgent help. The last line pierces through the ears. Erys is acknowledging that he is losing energy coming down from 100 percent to 95, yet refusing to believe his power is dying, claiming to be “still killing the vibe”. Ego has trapped him in a state of denial. As the song progresses, Erys’ drug-induced screeches become more aggressive and the tempo increases, confessing “I think I lost my car/I can't see straight, I'm fucked” pokes out through the madness of his nonsensical rambling about his surroundings. Erys has lost control.

Erys’ rise to the top pushed him to his limits, and he has fallen as fast as he has risen. This short lived spark of incomprehensible power perfectly demonstrates the double edged sword of the human ego. Erys’ ego pushed him to reach incredible milestones of not only material success, but likely impossible spiritual experiences created by his drug ‘Vision’. However ego becomes an external force with no intention to cooperate with human ability, and pushes Erys to OD on ‘Vision’, resulting in his reckless regression. Jaden has become a master swordsmith with his storytelling genius, with ego being his deadliest double edged sword sticking out of ERYS as a forever-imminent threat. The concept of ego courses like blood through the body of four explosive tracks. Ego is a perilous feat of humanity, and Erys is being destroyed by his.

If one listened intently to the tracks, they would notice a solitary voice wafting through ‘Again’ and ‘Fire Dept’. This is Syre, trapped in the dark by the emergence of Erys. Audibly, Syre is juxtaposed against Erys by tenderly singing instead of belligerently rapping. Additionally, Erys’s voice has been manipulated by autotune of various degrees, which distinguishes Jaden’s natural voice for Syre. Syre’s presence in Erys’ rise is the most pertinent feat of ERYS because this is what makes Erys human. Syre may have died, however the true parts of his soul remain, his real thoughts and feelings. In ‘Again’, the music fades and echoes. Syre emerges singing of the girl he loves and how he has become adrift; “Girl, we can paint such a pretty life…I admit I'm lost, can I hitch a ride?/Something bout your voice, like a lullaby.” Yet Erys interrupts Syre’s digression with frustration;

“Who the fuck turned this shit on, n****

I told you don't play no motherfucking wack shit

Big drip only”.

It is tacit Erys is fighting to silence his inner self, believing that his new behaviour is the only way to overcome his hardship as it has worked on his external image. This also explains why Erys feels the need to always drop big luxury brands in his lyrics (particularly in ‘i-drip-or-is’ and ‘Again’), because the clothing he wears on his body is a conspicuous external composition of his ability to succeed. As Syre mentioned their love interest, Erys comes back with ‘Got It’, as described earlier, being an entire song about how he can now provide for the girl that they once couldn’t help. This feeds into the psyche of Erys believing that he is better off living the life that he has now, because on paper it all makes sense. Syre makes another appearance after Erys goes off the deep end at the end of ‘Fire Dept’ and continues his digression about his love interest;

“Think about

Your life

Too much

I'm losin' light

I'm cruising on

I think a lot

I think about

You a lot

Too much

Do too much

I should be movin' on

(For sure).”

This time, Erys cannot fight Syre’s appearance, and the song ends without interruption.

The conflict between Syre and Erys is a trademark of adolescent growth. Jaden uses this conflict to show how he had suppressed his true emotions by using drugs and money as a bandaid on his emotional and spiritual wounds. This is a common trend in adolescence, to believe that material wealth or a chemical alteration of the brain is the only solution to fixing hard problems. Syre and Erys’ conflict cries at our unforgiving society for help, for the aid that adolescents so desperately need to deal with their struggles. It seems that the youth do not have the resources they need to navigate a life that is expected of them, and thus they cope with what is available - drug culture. Just as Erys learnt to push ‘Vision’ across the city of Los Angeles, young people dealing with problems beyond their control resort to drug taking or dealing to handle their problems, and it destroys them just as Erys has been destroyed - even if they know deep down that drugs won’t fix their problems.

Syre and Erys also represent Jaden’s state of being. The conflict between the two characters is a metaphorical picture of Jaden’s internal fight against himself in his journey to finding his true identity. It is no question that Jaden Smith would’ve lived perfectly fine under the care of his father, yet he chooses to make his own name. This makes him a striking individual due to the immense care he takes in creating his true identity. By creating conflict between his two characters, Jaden immortalizes his story in his own words. He immortalizes the importance of finding one’s true identity, and inspires the youth of his generation to do the same. Syre and Erys eventually go on to merge into one person; Jaden. The existence of this resolution is an integral part of urging young people to become their real selves, because it shows that having a true identity is real, and achievable.

Jaden’s second album ERYS supersedes expectations of a boy born into fame and privilege. Following the completion of the SYRE and ERYS projects, Jaden is showing the world that he is more than his family name. Often teenagers want the world to understand they are their own person with their own dreams, feelings, desires and struggles. Jaden, in my opinion, expressed this best.

[raguna-blade]

Ok and before I forget and i Likely will and I don’t have the attention span to actually try and take this anywhere right at this precise moment but there’s one musical thing that’s likely as not a just a musical ref cause haha I can do it it’s my soundtrack, my game you can’t stop me but-

There’s this song I ran across ages ago that toby fox did also compose. 74, Sung by Itoki Hana, and I Honestly have to wonder how much of it is also supposed to link in thematically. Like this wouldn’t be the first time Toby’s done this, what with Megalovania being from 1 and then 2 different stories and each pulling a generally similar vibe and intent behind them near as I can tell (there was an essay that explained this way better but I cannot for the life of me tell you where I actually read it save the greater seas of Tumblr so you know, that’s probably lost forever)

And I’m sitting here looking at the lyrics of this song, and Where I at least hear the music parts, it is in Welcome to the City, which is the bit where it’s just Kris, The Soul and Noelle, and given the whole song and all i have to wonder if there’s any intended link.

Cause man, looking at the picture used, and then the lyrics it certainly feels like it.

Now purposes of this here analysis I suggest you go listen to the song. 74, Itoki Hana, Toby Fox should get you where you need to be. If nothing else it’s a good song.

Now probably not, but it does at least put me in the mind to look at it like it does even if it’s only more a thing i vaguely heard that sorta sounds like this sparked an idea and honestly there’s worse places to grow your thoughts.

So, in 74, the song more or less comes from the pov of the Princess in a tower, watching a brave knight ascend to rescue her, through the various traps and trials that are within the tower...That she set and put there. And she is not (or she is in addition to being) actually a princess. She’s a dragon, pretending to be a princess to lure in knights to feel a degree of validation, to feel well...Important. Valuable. Special you know?

And I guess it’s not hard to see some potential parallels going on given that we find that Kris is opening the Fountains. Or is ALSO opening the Fountains. We’ve seen one for sure, and the implication SUGGESTS that they’re the one doing it in general, but we won’t know for sure til the game’s completely out. But for now, let’s assume they’re doing them all.

With that, We have Kris the Hero fighting through a land of trial and tribulation that he made himself to do...Something. Like in the song, the Knight in question looks gallant cool and really shows their stuff, even though in the end they bit it.

So that’s something, but then, we’re still asking why is Kris doing this? It’s shown that basically any Lightner can open a Dark Fountain whenever they want (Berdly got slapped out of it like 3 times in a row, and he seemed to be doing it pretty trivially as far as difficulty was concerned. Now that was in the Dark World, so perhaps it was easier there, but the Queen didn’t even really consider Berdly Strong enough to do it, though part of that likely as not had to do with her concern for Noelle.

But like...I dunno, I go back to the Knight in all this, and that’s a position of special import in the game. It’s very actively called attention to it, and the Knight is positioned as an apocalyptic force that’s...Creating Worlds, giving life and value back to the Darkners, who were cut off from the Lightners, which has seemingly left both sides lesser. The Darkners seeming to be doomed to fade into the dark, while the Lightners are unable to interact with this world that seems to have the ability to massively improve their wellbeing.

Like, Knights are typically heroes in stories with princes and heroes and kings and queens you know? When the story takes place in a kingdom, it’s the loyal knight who, while perhaps not the main hero, is a steadfast compatriot. Well that’s the general idea right?

But the Knight is positioned as a terrible force of ruin and destruction...Except in chapter 2 here, we get the notion that creating the Dark Worlds really can be an improvement life. Indeed, the game doesn’t even seem to suggest that creating more Dark Worlds is inherently a bad thing, but there’s the critical issue of the balance between the two being off and that’s a critical problem that at least as of now doesn’t seem to be able to be addressed.

Still, if this game is keeping on with Parallels to Undertale, The Knight isn’t all bad. Hell even the Spade King wasn’t all bad and he’s pretty objectively the most evil character in the normal route of the game.

And the game really does seem to posit that the interaction between the dark world and the light world is inherently good for both of them. The Town looks Way healthier and lively in Chapter 2 than it did in 1. Susie’s Rude Stat has been dropping since go, and Even Kris, while we don’t get to see their thoughts, seems to be becoming considerably more expressive. Now admittedly pretty much every expression we do get to see from them that isn’t prompted from The Soul seems to be negative and frustrated and angry and all that, but then, I think that’s probably a better place to be than shoving everything down and being completely unresponsive and not acknowledging anything that they’re feeling, which seems to be the case whenever you start to touch on anything remotely intimate.

I mean The Soul seems to be a part of them as well as apart from them, which is confusing at the moment, but they’re capable of scarfing down a whole entire pie, slash their moms tires, and open up portals to parallel realites without it so it doesn’t seem to be something that they particularly NEED to survive or do anything.

Going back to the song though, and i suppose the most basic barebones aspect I wanna look at, is that Someone who’s Apparently In Trouble is actually the Threat, or more generally, that the Appearances Are Opposite to the Actual Reality of the situation I’m wondering.

Because last thing before I cut this off, is that We have the Queen going all in on her plan and being unaware that going through with it would lead to the end of all things, I have to wonder if the Knight is Similarly Ignorant as to what they’re actually doing.

I’m also wondering if Perhaps Asriel is perhaps actually the antagonist. Because while the game’s claim of your choices having no meaning is inherently unquestionably suspect, the game also makes it extremely clear, doubly so as of the point of chapter 2, That there are people you’re simply going to have to fight, and perhaps you’re going to have to fight them with the full intent of killing them, and that that is an option that you genuinely may need to consider. Or at least, that you may well need to destroy that relationship and cut them out of your life. Not everyone should be recruited, so to speak.

Which is advice that shows up, if my memory isn’t failing me this quickly, in the manual that Ralsei provides...And advice that, if taken to extremes as shown in the Corruption route, can cause genuine problems.

Or I suppose I guess to put this in another context, the first words of advice you’re given, that are a full on lie, in Undertale is that this is a world of kill or be killed. Asriel tells us this is a world where you do not have to kill anyone, and while the game has yet to have you actually bring the axe down on anyone in the Normal Route, it’s also extremely explicitly stated that it’s not so simple as spare everyone or fight everyone. There’s shades of grey here and you shouldn’t just ignore them. There are people you can’t just spare, you have to fight it out (and interestingly, those people do not include the secret bosses, who seem to have a greater level of understanding of the world, if also are borderline incoherent in both cases.)

I dunno. There’s more to percolate on here i think, though obviously some of this isn’t gonna be answered until we get the rest of the game.

And as a last note, there’s 7 showing up again as a recurring number so that’s...Interesting.

[missholland]

Lan Wangji (mostly, his love)

LAN ZHAN! I read somewhere that this was said 102 times by Wei Wuxian in The Untamed. It feels like an understatement, cause I’ve watched the show so many times now I could hear ‘Lan Zhan’ being called in my sleep...

My first time watching the drama, I was full on Team Xianxian. I mean, who would not be? He’s the central character of the story, he’s the first thing you see within the first few seconds of episode 1, and who could resist his sunflower aura? I was not into Lan Wangji at all. I remember this clearly because I just found an old Instagram story in my Archive on the day I first watched this show: a screenshot of Wangji’s face in episode 3 and my caption was: ‘OMG how could Wei sunshine fall in love with this dry and boring man?’. And just like how Wangji eventually swallowed all of the statements he had made about the young Wei Wuxian (’I don’t touch other people’, ‘We’re not close’, etc.), I am not the same person on that fateful day tuning in the first episode on Netflix. I am now Team Hanguang-Jun through and through!

What I’ve been enjoying so much these days is watching random earlier/later episodes just to compare how Wangji’s attitude changed toward Wei Wuxian over 16 years-ish. It’s probably so obvious for everyone that he definitely falls in love first, even when the drama purposely made their early relationship a lot more intense comparing to the novel i.e. showing Wei Wuxian somewhat feeling the same way about Wangji in his first life, with the constant flirting and mutual pining (don’t even get me started...). Now that I kinda understand what the character is like, it makes a lot of sense the way he processed his feelings for Wuxian in his youth. I wonder how different he would have reacted without the push from the best brother/wingman in the cultivation world - Lan Xichen. Sure, Jiang Cheng had a lot to say about this too, but mostly out of a slight envy (I reckon) over Wuxian’s new subject of desire. But Lan Xichen sees through his brother, and has been pretty much WangXian fanclub admin since day 1. I don’t have a brother, but man, I wish Lan Xichen could be mine.

In my humble opinion, the fact that we were given 3 versions of Wei Wuxian throughout the series kinda gifts us 3 versions of Lan Wangji too in a way - the straight face, the confused heart, and the national boyfriend/husband. Considering the number of times I rewatched the latter half of the series i.e. episode 33 onward, I just want to write down all of my thoughts about the national boyfriend/husband Lan Wangji, and not just because that version seems to have the most lines comparing to the other two.

There are several details that were not explained much in the series (although shown on screen) so I have to read from the novel later on. But oh my god, the stuff I found... I never realized that the scene before Lan Wangji went to Mo’s manor where his guqin was playing behind him standing on the balcony referred to how he used Inquiry to find Wuxian. What Jiang Cheng said to him about having gone to a lot of places for 16 years and searching for someone completely went over my head in the first watch, and imagine how I scratched my brain revisiting that part. That plus ‘oh I’ve never seen you at a cultivation conference before’ in episode 41 - my goodness, because he was spending ALL of his time LOOKING FOR Wei Wuxian.

Another thing I hope would have been addressed in the series was the hot iron mark on his chest. I thought the story of him drinking wine and giving himself a mark identical to Wuxian’s was the prime work of a broken heart. He must have thought about their conversation in Xuanwu cave, about the mark staying on his skin forever and how Wuxian was convinced Mianmian would never forget him. Was that how Wangji was making a point of never forgetting Wei Wuxian? If that scene made into the drama, I would have thought Wangji’s character song Buwang to be play in the background. The lyrics fit the situation so much.

Personally, everything from episode 33 onward was perfection for me, finally getting to see Wangji embrace his feelings and ACT ON THEM toward the romance-blind idiot Wei Wuxian (yes, he totally is). All the caring touches and details played out so astonishingly. One of my favourite (which doesn’t seem to be a popular one since I have not seen many gifs of it on Tumblr) was when, after interrogating Huaisang, Wangji comfortably moved over the other side of the table and picked up Wuxian’s left leg to CLEAN THE EVIL SPELL - think of the level of intimacy this act is! Although that came after the romantic piggyback under the moonlight, I thought that speaks volume for someone who doesn’t even physically interact with his family members, and serves as a great follow-up right after he, again comfortably, pulled up Wuxian’s trousers to check his leg.

What I thought was always presented so beautifully is every time Wangji serves Wuxian liquor. The way he carefully picks up his sleeve, prepares the cup (I know they’re probably not called ‘cups’ but I can’t find another word), pours the liquor and slides it over to his partner is so well demonstrated and shows how much he wants to properly take care of Wuxian. Would you put so much effort in such a tiny mundane act if you’re not doing it for the most important person in your life? 

In a way, I feel like everything he does is making up for what he could not do the past 16 years, including remembering so many tiny details and keeping all sort of Wuxian-related things. My favourite Wangji keepsake moment, despite being a very short one, is the butterfly talisman at Yunping City which he gave to Wuxian to rescue Wen Ning. I don’t know why that moment makes me really really happy, probably because that was one of the earliest items Wangji could have kept hold of from Wuxian’s. That tells us how way long before he was developing feelings toward this little rebel. Not to mention, we did see Wangji even use this very talisman in episode 11 when he encountered Wen Chao on his way back to Cloud Recesses.

Yes, the ‘I knew he was Wei Ying all along’ while having all the swords pointed at you is highly pivotal as it’s basically the censored version of ‘I love you’. BUT, the moment all leading cultivators of all major and minor clans ran to Burial Mounds just to witness Lan Wangji standing proudly without flinch on the other side with Wei Wuxian makes me appreciate that whole arc a lot more than the big revelation in the last 3 episodes. Wangji ignoring his own Grand Master, Wuxian once again standing against every single person in the cultivation world but with so much confidence this time around - to me, is beyond satisfying. I love this arc so much so I wrote a separate piece about episode 44-45 - if you’re interested in more of my random thoughts, feel free to have a read here.

Thinking about all this, I’m absolutely in awe of how protective national boyfriend Wangji is to Wei Wuxian even before knowing he lost his golden core. They either have insanely accurate GPS, or just really good telepathy. Wangji’s constant attention to his partner (without having to verbally find out where he is) blows my mind every time. Remember how proud Wei Wuxian was having Lan Wangji come out just in time to fight Xue Yang at Coffin Town? That’s how much Wangji’s love and trust empowers Wuxian and makes him so so so secured, even when everyone was walking around in the fog hiding from the most notorious killer and his puppets. 

The one detail that pushed me over the edge completely (thanks a lot Lan Xichen) was the story of Wangji’s mom. Oh my god, baby Wangji sitting in the snow really messes with my head. I cannot believe it took 40 something episodes for us to learn about Wangji’s emotionally damaged upbringing and what shapes him into a stubborn lovebird as we know today. It adds A LOT more context and sadness to his famous phrase ‘bring a man back to Cloud Recesses and hide him’, as well as Lan Qiren’s statement ‘have you not learned from your father’s lesson’. I revisit the ‘bring back and hide him’ scene with a completely new perspective and can sense Wangji’s pain and confusion that Xichen described. The desperation in that statement of Wangji was a lot heavier in my eyes now that I understand the back story. If I were Wei Wuxian listening to all of that from Lan Xichen, I would probably have a meltdown right there at the doorsteps of the Silence Room.

Now we all know the source of inspiration of the infamous ‘I want to bring a man to Cloud Recesses. Bring him back and hide him’ in episode 25:

So after all of Xichen’s effort in telling Wuxian how Wangji actually feels about him through the tear-jerker story about their parents, Wei Wuxian STILL asked Lan Wangji WHY he was willing to seal Bichen and his own spiritual power so that Jin Guangyao would not hurt him. This dense man, of course, brought up the guilt card i.e. ‘Oh you don’t owe me anything’. I mean COME ON NOW YILING PATRIARCH! CAN YOU ACTUALLY BE THAT OBLIVIOUS WHEN IT COMES TO THE MAN THAT TOOK 300 LASHES ON HIS BACK FOR PROTECTING YOUR LEGACY? 

I know it went the other way in the novel, where the big confession happened. Maybe a bite from Fairy could do you some good, or just talk to Lan Xichen some more and then you can start appreciating your soulmate the way he deserves.

The silver lining after being deprived of an epic love confession is everything that happened in episode 50. It might have not been spelling-it-out clear as in ‘I love you’ ‘I love you too’ because of the government censorship, but it’s easily the most obvious yet emotional type of ending the production team has worked to hard to deliver. If you are still having trouble processing the allegedly ‘ambiguous’ finale, I can help with that - here. Just a heads up: it’s a happy ending. 

Good to know Wei Wuxian has the rest of his life making up to Lan Wangji. Everyday means everyday, because Wangji deserves THAT much!

[musicallisto]

songs that make your heart beat (tag game)

I was tagged by @lxncelot - thank you so much for tagging me! this tag was made for me. (also, lie to me and iris are GOOD. not to spoil anything, but iris is one of my song prompts for my 1k writing challenge, so stay tuned for that maybe.)

“Hiiii so I thought of this game where you put 5 songs that just make you feel out of this world with a short explanation- It could be your comfort songs, your favorite ones, anything that makes you feel things! and then tag your friends :))” @/spideyanakin

These are some of my favorite songs of all time - and I'll try to explain as best as I can but sometimes you just... feel the vibe and can't think you know.

1. 5 seconds of summer - wrapped around your finger

while Olive hated 5sos with a burning passion in junior high, I was utterly and feverishly obsessed with them. if you knew me in 2014-2018 during my 5sos phase no you didn't. but wrapped around your finger still SLAPS as hard as it did back in the day and I have nothing but love for that song. it's so angsty!! but good!!! and like, poignant!!! and gut-wrenching!!!! and it has that ~nocturnal elegy~ feel to it. i love it. excellent vibes. (strong STRONG contender i hesitated with too: outer space/carry on by 5sos for the same reasons, tho I'd argue outer space is objectively better than wayf but I have poured too much of my soul in wayf)

2. bruno mars - young girls

why? you ask. why a bruno mars song? idk i literally DON'T KNOW these are pure vibes. vibes and only vibes!!!! when i was a kid and really into pop music (before i went through my emo phase and despised everything that was on the radio), i was really into bruno mars and lady gaga (locked out of heaven still has me shook). but i discovered this song much later and it was love at first listen. it has a very particular feel, nostalgic and melancholic, that you don't find often in pop music, and especially not in bruno mars' discography? of course he's written beautiful ballads and poignant songs (grenade SLAPS), but this one is different. in the best way. it destroys me every time.

3. hollywood undead - lion

in my voice ask when i talked about how i came to learn english, i briefly mentioned hollywood undead and how obsessed with them i was in seventh grade (which prompted my emo phase, as i said). they were super edgy and their lyrics super fucking raw. looking back now, they were sometimes too edgy, but not lion. lion still hits as hard as it did on the first day. i've never quite managed to totally grasp what it deals with (addiction, maybe?), which is a common occurrence in my favorite songs. but i'm always left breathless by the end of the song, and i don't think i'll ever outgrow that love.

4. ana belén - peces de ciudad (lit. city fish)

this is the nostalgia speaking here... but my mom used to listen to this song all the time when i was young, and it's been etched in my brain ever since. it helps that the lyrics are absolutely magnificent (courtesy of joaquín sabina, spanish songwriter and poet). there are many versions of this song, but ana belén's remains my favorite because of the memories i associate with it, and also how clear and soft her voice is. besides, it features my favorite twitches to the original lyrics (en Macondo comprendí & cuando en vuelo regular surqué el cielo de Madrid). the second verse is so ethereally beautiful, like! it's out of this world, i don't know how to explain it. it truly sends me to another dimension. if you look closely, this song is everywhere on my blog, most notably as my title (pez de ciudad), and at some point it was in my bio (as ¿y como huir cuando no quedan islas para naufragar?).

5. michel sardou - les lacs du connemara (lit. the lakes of connemara)

WAIT the tag never said that these all had to be serious and angsty and introspective and stuff!!!! it's literally called 'songs that make your heart beat', and boy if my heart doesn't beat during that song then i must be very dead. a little bit of context: it is a tacit truth among the french nation that this song must be played at every single house party, and most specifically as the last song. it's an implicit agreemennt to let everyone know that it's time to clean up and go home; so it's kind of a little bit of a meme, right? like, everyone is piss drunk when they hear it, so i bet no one remembers having ever heard the song in full. but somehow everyone knows the lyrics, and it gives way for the most beautiful moments in humanity. picture this: a crowd of fifteen or twenty people hoisting you up by the shoulders and jumping around to this epic irish beat? you've never spoken to any of these people and you'll never speak to them again but for the six minutes of this song, you're bound by the unspeakable friendship of five a.m. i love it, i love the moment so much.

but THEN! the thing IS! as i've said, this song is kind of this drunken meme in france, right? but i like it; unironically, i truly do. and i may very well be the only person on the face of earth to genuinely love it - except for the beaufs, but that's a whole another deal that i can't get into rn -, but it's as much of a banger as any other song on this list. clearly this is beyond a good time with friends. this song is a religion and i feel it carnally.

also that sardou dude plays enjolras in the original les mis adaptation and i have not been the same ever since i learned that. enjolras belting les lacs is glorious it brings me too much joy

this was such a fun tag - thank you for thinking of me! i'm tagging anyone who wants to do it! ♥

[torishasupremacy]

going through my middle/high school notes on my phone

here are some atrocities I found:

song lyrics i wrote that i cant tell whether they’re terrible and dumb or actually kind of slap 

a billion links to h*milton fanfics that i immediately deleted (and then proceeded to throw up)

“spanish hip hop version of beauty and the best” with absolutely no context

oh god oh fuck now its a bunch of links to h*milton animatics i crave death 

and now we’ve moved on to the dear evan hansen animatics. less cringe but i still wanna punch 14 y/o me in the face

okayyyy a bunch of otp prompts. sure.

“Self-doubt is your worst enemy. Do not fall victim to the illusion of fear.” - Kayla Robinson

acne treatments because i was super insecure ab my skin. dont worry honey it gets better and by better i mean your skin still sucks but you aren’t super depressed ab it anymore

why did i write down the twitter bios for h*milton actors. why.

a list of overwatch characters back when there were only like 20

like 3 separately written lists of be more chill songs?? who are these for??

a prediction for the end of the heroes of olympus series. it didn’t happen.

a massive list of sexuality and ship hcs for characters from 6 different musicals that i apparently spent 30 minutes on

be more chill character names but in morse code?? 

“why determinate when you could just terminate? kill everyone.”

the following but in spanish: “My notebook is over here. For the first time, she is happy. Apparently the apple is red. At last, she finishes her homework. The book is good for now.”

a paragraph about why i liked be more chill that started talking about how i met one of my best friends after we realized his computer wallpaper was a scene from the show and my wallpaper was fan art of that scene, which id completely forgotten about. he ended up being a fake/toxic friend, so go figure.

“Greek mytholoPHI” horrible pun 0/10

a recipe for dijon mustard?????

“first of all, frankenstein is a stylish motherfucker” again, with absolutely ZERO context, that’s the whole note

this fucking poem: “Eyes they see. Lids they blink. Asa’s a Twink.”

a poem that is actually good and about how i was in love with my best friend but too scared to ask him out. really hits different now considering he was awful behind my back rip :)

(also we both presented as female lesbians at the time but he transitioned which is why im using he/him pronouns)

 disturbingly long and thought out sanders sides fanfiction ideas. they have all now been deleted

screenshots of this conversation:

matt: cognitive behavioral therapy explain this

kate: no bitch

matt: my mom is calling your mom RIGHT NOW

kate: UR MOOOOOMMM

matt: yeah well you smell

lola: u smell

lola: like warm beet chunks

zach: ew

matt: :(

lola: u smell like borscheeeee

me: im calling the police on everyone

kate: I like humUUSSSSS

amy: beets make me feel rustic 

matt: I cant go back to jail

mmmm now we’ve moved onto poetry AFTER he broke my heart. fun.

lmao one note titled “cast of characters” and all it says below is “...”

a really bad idea for a movie about a lesbian thespian youtuber that’s immediately followed by research on homosexuality during the holocaust

the following dreams:

“I was playing overwatch in a building in the city until half past midnight. I had to drive home and I was really bad at driving because I had to press a button to stop and I would forget to press the button until the last moment and almost crash into the car ahead of me. Then I went into the freeway above the sea and I was freaking out because it was the opposite direction from home so I did a u turn but I ended up on a ferry and I panicked and drove the car into the ocean”

“I was keeping my friend’s gecko alexander in the console of the car and mom built a picture frame terrarium to keep him in”

“I had adopted four peacock pigeon hybrids and they kept jumping in the pool. I was going to name them chad, taylor, ryan, and sharpay but dad told me to think about it and then I was debating whether to name them after the sanders sides or not”

the only decipherable part of the next note is this:

“I know him... he’s the worst kind of evil.” “What’s that?” “Little brothers”

tips for playing moira in overwatch

“12 animatronics 14 shark pool 17 accused of accusing friend of incest but actually neo betrayed will mike blanket” what does this MEAN???

a list of wacky improv characters we had on one scene: 

Nun having fun 

College dropout

Kleptomaniac teenager 

Horny teenager

Creepy uncle

I have no memory of this scene except my aro ace friend had to play the horny teenager so he kept yelling I WANT TO BONE

the entire be more chill script. like the entire thing. what the actual fuck.

my southern relatives called a storm a “frog strangler of rain” and I wrote that down

a link to the asexual manifesto

different south east asian currencies and exchange rates

quote from my classmate who was literally harold from total drama but more political: “What I’m asking is that if I had infinite helium balloons how many would I need to lift my body- not to float infinitely- but enough to plausibly kill me?”

an essay about populism

a description of a woman in my dreams. her name was millie but she made it clear her name was NOT millie bobby brown. she was bisexual and wore a shiny peacock blue leather jacket with a blue tank top and jeans. she had straight hair that was a mix of blonde and brown that was cut into a choppy bob. she and her pet tiger were living in a trailer in the woods because her boyfriend kicked her out

my natal chart (im a double aries and lunar capricorn)

a note that says “tamil nadu india” and nothing else

ive given up. if you read this far: why.

[nerianasims]

Billboards #1 1965

Under the cut.

Petula Clark – “Downtown” -- January 23, 1965

I love this song to bits. I don't entirely know why. Petula Clark obviously sings it wonderfully. There's that little bell that sometimes chimes in. There's a pattern to the song that makes it feel like Broadway, which is, of course, downtown. It's a fantasy version of a downtown in a big city. One thing I love about fantasy is a sense of place, and that's what this entire song is dedicated to. It's an unusual subject for pop music, and it's great.

The Righteous Brothers – “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling” -- February 6, 1965

How does one even talk about this song? It feels somehow eternal. This is Phil Spector's production at its best. But Bill Medley's singing is the point. This song is one of the greats.

Gary Lewis And The Playboys – “This Diamond Ring” -- February 20, 1965

Gary Lewis is Jerry Lewis' son. Unlike his father, he does not consist entirely of annoyance-producing molecules, but the song's not good either. In it, the guy's fiancee dumped him and he's selling the diamond ring. A boring, bland heartbreak song that belongs three years or so back.

The Temptations – “My Girl” -- March 6, 1965

My mom used to sing this song to me when I was a little kid. I think a lot of parents sing this song to their little girls; it's that kind of love song. Yet it's not irritatingly antiseptic. It's about true love. True love can be a lot of things. This song is every superlative you can think of. Brilliant in every aspect.

The Beatles – “Eight Days A Week” -- March 13, 1965 

It's a good, but not great, Beatles song. Very fun, with a lot of interesting things musically, like the bassline (as usual) and whatever George Harrison does with his guitar.

The Supremes – “Stop! In The Name Of Love” -- March 27, 1965

Finally, Diana Ross actually sounds kinda pissed off. It's also got more of a rock edge. She's still begging, and not threatening to leave the guy's cheating ass. Yet, though there is no explicit threat, I feel like there is an implied ultimatum here.

Freddie And The Dreamers – “I’m Telling You Now” -- April 10, 1965

It sounds like this guy is exaggerating his English accent. Considering the British Invasion, probably. He cackles like a monkey on acid, which is the only interesting thing about the song, which is otherwise a bland love song. Though the cackle is interesting, that doesn't make it good. It's creepy. I don't like this one.

Wayne Fontana & The Mindbenders – “The Game Of Love” -- April 24, 1965

"The purpose of a man is to love a woman, and the purpose of a woman is to love a man." Whoo boy. Dated. But the song is 55 years old. Attempting to put that aside, the music is good. The lyrics sound pushy, though. Also it gets terribly repetitive at the end. Meh.

Herman’s Hermits – “Mrs. Brown, You’ve Got A Lovely Daughter” -- May 1, 1965

Was it once usual for guys to go to their ex-girlfriends' mothers to talk of their heartbreak after the girlfriend dumped them? This song is painfully "look how English I am! You Americans like to throw money at English pop singers, right?" It wears out its welcome quickly.

The Beatles – “Ticket To Ride” -- May 22, 1965

It's interesting how the Beatles seem to have matured five years in one. I can't imagine this group having performed "I Want to Hold Your Hand." The harmonies and rhythms in "Ticket to Ride" are far more complex, the sounds are more varied, and the lyrics are much more mature. His wife/girlfriend is absolutely determined to leave him, and he seems taken by surprise. Yet there are hints he shouldn't have been: "She would never be free when I was around." He goes on, "My baby don't care." Yet underneath there's the suggestion that she simply hasn't got it in her to care any more, because he's exhausted her. Layers of harmony and layers of meaning. It's an intelligent heartbreak song, and those are rare.

The Beach Boys – “Help Me, Rhonda” -- May 29, 1965

I know Brian Wilson was a musical genius but I usually don't like the Beach Boys. It's the lyrics. The narrator was dumped, now he's begging Rhonda to be his rebound. Lucky Rhonda. Then they sing "Help me Rhonda/ Help, help me Rhonda" about five dozen times. Not for me.

The Supremes – “Back In My Arms Again” -- June 12, 1965

Urgh. Don't listen to the Supremes' #1 hits close together. She's got her man back because she stopped listening to her friends' advice. In isolation, there's nothing wrong with that. After all the songs about rotten cheating assholes whom the narrator is desperate to keep, though, it's super uncomfortable. Also using the names of the two backup singers as the friends who give bad advice is in poor taste. And "Flo, she don't know, cuz the boy she loves is a Romeo"? You solely date Romeos! Taken alone, without the context of the other songs, it's good, though I still don't like the strange insult toward the backup singers. Taken with the rest of the Supremes' hits, though, I'm not happy. Especially considering these were all written by men.

The Four Tops – “I Can’t Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch)” -- June 19, 1965

The Supremes weren't the only people in Motown singing about being hopelessly in love with someone who treated them badly. That's what this song is about. I like it, though the line "I'm weaker than a man should be" is a bit wince-inducing these days. But it's an honest sentiment about how men often feel they're not allowed to be idiots over love, though that's a near-universal human experience. Anyway, good song.

The Byrds – Mr. Tambourine Man -- June 26, 1965

The original version of this song was by Bob Dylan, but the Byrds didn't like it, so they changed the sound and ditched a bunch of the lyrics. The lyrics they were left with don't matter at all. This is all about the music, especially the guitar. It's mellow without being soporific, groovy without requiring drugs to understand. It's nice.

The Rolling Stones – “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” -- July 10, 1965

The Rolling Stones were almost never nice. They went straight for the gut -- or gonads -- found all the nastiest things that people are afraid to say and embarrassed to feel, and hung them up on the front porch. "(I Can't Get No) Satisfaction" sounds kind of silly today, since it's been played and overplayed so much. But that beginning riff still goes straight to the back-brain.

Two years before, pap like "Hey Paula" was clogging the airwaves. Funnily enough, it's the same subject matter: Goddamn I want to get laid. (The idea that Mick Jagger had trouble getting laid is pretty ridiculous, but anyway.) And then there's the critical bit about hating advertisements. They managed to stick a cultural criticism into a song that's about wanting sex. When you can't get no satisfaction, everything is annoying, and things that were already annoying to begin with start to feel unbearable. The Stones go harder in every way than any #1 before them.

Herman’s Hermits – “I’m Henry VIII, I Am” -- August 7, 1965

And here's the opposite. This song must be meant to be annoying, right? One of my friends and I used to sing it at our parents to drive them nuts, and that was before Ghost. It was their fault for exposing us to it in the first place.

Sonny And Cher – “I Got You Babe” -- August 14, 1965

Cher with Sonny is eternally confusing. Though their marriage didn't last, their love was real, and Cher was heartbroken when Sonny died. But anyway, the song. Sonny saying Cher has a "little hand" is goofy. Actually the whole song is kinda goofy, especially the beat that seems to be made of kazoos. Cher's got this powerful, deep voice, while Sonny has a squeaky little thing, but somehow they mesh. The sentiment is sincere, and a good picture of what it's like to be in a happy relationship. It's good.

The Beatles – “Help!” -- September 4, 1965

John Lennon was only 25 when he sang about being "younger, so much younger than today." But for the Beatles, that could have been two years before. They got so famous so fast and so young, I don't know how any of them lived through it. And that is what this song's about; Lennon called it a "public freak-out." But it's still universal. I love this song, and it helped carry me through some tough times.

Barry McGuire – “Eve Of Destruction” -- September 25, 1965

I remember when I first heard this song on the radio in the car with my mother, I asked her what "Old enough to kill/ But not for voting" meant. That's when I learned people used to not be able to vote until they were 21, though young men could be drafted at 18. I was absolutely stunned, and obviously it stuck with me. When you're a little kid, you tend to think the people in charge are generally fair. Then you find out that's not true at all. That's what this song is about, to me.

The McCoys – “Hang On Sloopy” -- October 2, 1965

Speaking of fair, I'm about to be totally unfair. I hate this fucking song. I had to play it endlessly in middle school band, and then I had to play it AGAIN in high school marching band. And the flute part in the arrangements was the most boring thing that has ever been conceived. I hate this song and I will not be listening to it or thinking about it more than this.

The Beatles – “Yesterday” -- October 9, 1965

Why do people in songs lose their significant others so often because they said something wrong and they don't know what it was? That can't be common. Anyway, this song is beautiful and sad. I'm kind of tired of all the covers of it though.

The Rolling Stones – “Get Off Of My Cloud” -- November 6, 1965

I'm listening to the original mono version of this, and mono sounds very strange these days. I keep wanting to check that my speakers are plugged in. Anyway, thanks to Jagger's marbles-in-mouth singing, I can't understand a word of this song except "Hey! you! get off of my cloud!" and I've never known the lyrics until now. And they're not important. Even the chorus isn't that important. This is all about the beat and the music, neither of which I find interesting for the entire length of the song. Not for me.

The Supremes – “I Hear A Symphony” -- November 20, 1965

A thoroughly happy Supremes song! I think Diana Ross is more suited to happy lovesongs than what she had been singing. She has a lot more emotion in her voice than she has before. The violins are lovely. I love this song.

The Byrds – “Turn! Turn! Turn!” -- December 4, 1965

I have always found this song slightly annoying. The Bible verse set to light pop thing doesn't do it for me. The music isn't anywhere near dramatic enough. This should be operatic, or heavy metal, or something else with serious weight. This is thin.

The Dave Clark Five – “Over And Over” -- December 25, 1965

This song is a bit of a throwback to three or four whole years before. It would have been good then. At this point, it's pretty boring. It's about going to a party he didn't want to go to, hitting on a girl, and getting turned down. The snare drum beat is very repetitive, and so is the melody. A big meh.

BEST OF 1965: "My Girl", with stiff competition.   WORST OF 1965: "I'm Telling You Now"

[hilalchouman]

How de we keep the cling?

The nihilistic sarcasm aside, it is pretty sad and traumatic to see this country going into shit like this at such a speed. The anxiety keeps taking a surrealistic shape. We were born amid crises, we lived with them, and we always managed to find a balance, or suppress this trauma and build up a bubble in which we hid. In that sense, everybody has their own musical moments that can be linked to places, times, and people. Fairouz songs contributed to that immensely. It was always a voice that came from the future, or at least this is how we dealt with it: an unforeseen, and probably impossible, future. We knew that, deep inside. And there’s no right and wrong here. There’s no dumb and serious. That’s not how it works. This is the total opposite of the writings that refer to Fairouz as a representation of the 60s. We, born in the 80s and even 70s, didn’t know that Lebanon and that Fairouz. We knew the sarcastic Fairuz «مش فارقة معاي, I care Less», even the dystopian one «مات أهلي, My People Died», or the re-arranged Rahbani Brothers’ songs. Our relationship with the old songs was more of an homage to our parents. Was Fairouz an idol of an old past, or of a dreamy future that we always clinged to? It is a mix of this and that. I do tend to believe that there was no such Lebanon except in our heads. At least for the ones in our age. But, there is no shame in clinging to impossible dreams. Every nation needs such dreams. Even the  in-the-works nations. Now, It is pretty horrific to see all of this going away, not from the denial perspective, but even from the anxiety of noticing that they really took from us our moments, our own personal ones. Every second, every place, every person, every email. This Macron visit, in the context it is positioned in, doesn't tell us any future of any kind. It is more about preservation of a non dying present, not to mention the past. It reminds us again, that our moments were taken away in the most murderous way, and we are retrieving a “symbol” to justify the nothing-major-happened argument. It is not only about the continuity, it is about hijacking a fainting image of our future, residing in our heads. I was there when people were fighting about the “ملا إنت, Oh you!” Lyrics. I was there when she said “لعل وعسى, Probably and Perhaps” in Beiteddine. I was there when I heard the ad for “كان غير شكل الزيتون, Even Olives were different”. I was there when she sang “Beesan”. I was there when she sang  «شو في مساكين لو بقدر آويها / وناس استبد بضعيفها وقويها / واذا المسكين قلو شي آويها / بيكون فلتان لحظة من العذاب». I was there when she sang “جايي مع الشعب المسكين / Standing with my poor people». I was there when she sang “حبني بس حبني / Love me, but love me really». I was there when I even hated her latest elevator songs. This is part of it all. My mom didn’t attend her concert in Solidere. It was a political decision back then. And Rafic Hariri back then knew what he was doing. He was presenting his city of the future with the voice of the constant future. His city ended up to be the classical gentrification story. And when people now go to the martyr’s square it feels as if they are protesting in the nowhere, with empty massive glass buildings surrounding the people, absorbing the voice. In Dennis Villeneuve’s «enemy», a film adapted from Saramago’s «The Double», we see a spider taking over Montreal slowly slowly until it takes over the whole city, and reaches the bathroom of the doubled hero. Same story. Similarly, Solidere became a body for a massive spider with non ending legs of shore ugly buildings built by Hizballah, Amal, and other party’s business men. But in one second, all this glass broke on the ground and in our bodies. Not only that, stories are circulating about a new Solidere in the works. That's how much we are hostages in this. My mom didn’t attend the Fairuz concert in Solidere. Before I left Lebanon, Fairouz had a concert in Platea’s theater. And my mom’s last Fairouz concert was in the 70s at the Picadelly’s palace, a theater that burned 20 years ago and no one cared about. I made sure to get her tickets and made her sit in front. I found one ticket, so I decided that she should take it. The syrian revolution back then was in its beginnings. Fairouz sang with her old voice « إن ما سهرنا ببيروت منسهر بالشام, if we didn’t have our soiree in Beirut, we can have it in Damascus». It was a general line. It said nothing. It was meant not to say anything, but It said everything about our in-head-future. At the end of the concert, I could see a weird smile on my mother’s face mixed with an energized happiness. I do tend to believe that it was the smile of a retrieval of a future she clinged to, with all its past moments. That was enough back then, before I started to come less and less to the country. Is this romantic? probably. But we do deserve a romantic closure to the moments in our head. Don’t let anyone convince you that an emotional link with anything is wrong, and throw the “idol” argument towards you. It is a totally different context. It is an assumed easy talk that stays on the surface and doesn’t give history one of its major elements: Emotion. That’s even more traumatic. And to put it clear, Every genuine thing turns at a certain point into a kitsch. That doesn’t erase the fact that it was genuine and it will stay genuine. What is life, our stories, without such clinged-to emotions? What is a goodbye without a hope of a possible, even though fainting, future? And How can we say Goodbye Lebanon and keep protecting our stories? How can we keep the cling? How? That’s our current trauma.

[thetaylorfiles]

step into the daylight and let it go

This is kind of random, but i could never understand some arguments before of how daylight was taylor’s “coming out song”. its just so hard to see that interpretation when thinking about the context of the song. the quote first came in context from her elle essay: My mom always tells me that when I was a little kid, she never had to punish me for misbehaving because I would punish myself even worse. I’d lock myself in my room and couldn’t forgive myself, as a five-year-old. I realized that I do the same thing now when I feel I’ve made a mistake, whether it’s self-imposed exile or silencing myself and isolating. I’ve come to a realization that I need to be able to forgive myself for making the wrong choice, trusting the wrong person, or figuratively falling on my face in front of everyone. Step into the daylight and let it go. - it’s about letting go of the past and accepting the present, looking forward to the future, which fits to the overall themes of lover, the album - like the lead single, ME! sent a message of positivity, setting the mood for what the album overall wants to deliver (also sidenote, in what the song message is, “like a rainbow with all of the colours” is easily interpretable to meaning as vibrant and multilayered, unique = “i’m the only one of me”) even within the song. the lyrics go “there are so many lines i’ve crossed unforgiven”; “luck of the draw only draws the unlucky, so I became the butt of the joke“; “I wounded the good and I trusted the wicked, clearing the air I breathed in the smoke”; “maybe i stormed out of every single room in this town”; “threw out our cloaks and daggers” - it’s about letting go of past mistakes, and for taylor, past hurt (especially in relation to 2016) then, of course it does focus to her love, how this love she had found now, is different, “love that is golden” something real, something “not just the idea of [love]”. like “my love was as cruel as the cities I lived in, everyone looked worse in the light” - letting go of past loves, past ideas of love now that she found this one. Thinking of the context, it is just difficult to see how it works as “coming out”. and all in all, nothing changed, at all. taylor is still with her long-term boyfriend. yes folklore gives more insight to how “it hurts underneath [her] scars”. but its how she learns to live with the pain and with her love beside her (“these windermere peaks look like a perfect place to cry ... but not without my muse”); than just the positive outlook: i have healed from my past, as shown in lover (which to me, daylight highlights it most significantly). which, contrasted to the dark: i’m healing while falling in love process, shown in reputation (“all my flowers grew back as thorns ... he built a fire just to keep me warm”) and, with that, it’s hard to see just overall how karlie could be hinted all through these three albums, when, its hard to fully comprehend “evil schemes and contracts working to keep the girls apart, yet taylor can still call out loudly scooter buying her masters right under her nose, slam them, call out their investors etc while her true love karlie continues to stay by their side”, and additionally in folklore, the pain and loss expressed most personally and confessionally concerns the loss of her masters (my tears ricochet, mad woman, the lakes (name dropping sleaze... tell me what are my words worth). so yeah. hard to see the entire interpretation AND the narrative. (+and this ended up being longer than expected)

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Submission

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Wow. You are absolutely BRILLIANT at interpreting and analyzing lyrics. Please never ever stop. Always send them to me! I couldn’t agree more and wow. You’re just so good.

[onestowatch]

Nilo Blues Pays Homage to Cult Anime Film Akira in “Akira Harakiri” [Premiere + Q&A]

Photo: Frank Lin

The city of Toronto never ceases to amaze us. What can arguably be considered the epicenter for a new wave of hip-hop, Toronto has become notorious for generating underground sensation after sensation. Through their cultivation of hypnotic and innovative soundscapes, to their impeccable flows and lyricism, Toronto has solidified an extensive roster of industry frontrunners, and Nilo Blues is proving to be the newest addition to the team.

Despite being a self-proclaimed poster child for Generation Z, the 21-year-old is anything but ordinary. Growing up in the Toronto art scene, Blues encompasses what it means to be a multi-hyphenate creative, utilizing his talents as a singer, rapper, dancer, and producer to tell stories that grapple with his Asian identity within the context of western society. 

His debut single, “No Risk Involved,” is an intrepid statement on Asian cultural identity and showcases how Blues’ struggle to live and create beyond rigid stereotypes has ultimately fueled him to pave his own way, in music and life. His nuanced and complex approach to the modern trap soundscape mirrors that of his own evolution and understanding of his own personal identity. Woven within his uncompromisingly honest storytelling and conviction lies the infectious hooks, melodic arrangements, and unsparing production of a true, multi-hyphenate artist. And despite “No Risk Involved” being the official introduction to his discography, we’re here to tell you that it’s just the tip of the iceberg for Blues.

As we patiently await his debut EP, set to release this summer, Blues gives us a peek at what’s to come with his most recent drop, “Akira Harakiri.” Explosive and audacious, this track has the power to cause havoc to the silencers of a corrupted system. Compiled within roaring trap-laden beats and terse hip-hop rhythms, Blues’ adroit vocals and dynamic fluidity convey a sense of fervor, all while challenging the status quo of Asian representation within American culture. 

“Akira Harakiri” pays homage to the anime that Blues grew up with, most notably the raw tenacity of Akira and the thriving energy of Dragonball Z, which influenced its sonic foundation and cinematic execution. In an effort to gain a more comprehensive understanding of his artistry, we spoke with Blues about his position in the current Toronto-trap soundscape and what motivates him to create breakout tracks like “No Risk Involved” and “Akira Harakiri.”    

Ones To Watch: It seems like dancing used to be a significant part of your life before music. What sparked your transition?

Nilo Blues: Growing up I was surrounded by music, whether it be at home or in the dance studio. I always had this natural appreciation for music grow in me because of all the different sounds I was surrounded by. I remember having 10-hour dance rehearsal days and then coming home to record photo booth videos of me and my best friend spitting melodies and lyrics over beats we found. I started producing at 16 when I discovered the iMaschine app for iPhone. I would spend hours trying to cook up beats until one day I decided to learn Ableton Live. My mentor cracked it on my laptop and started showing me the ropes, instantly I was hooked. My musical journey honestly started out from me just wanting to make music I could dance to. I owe a lot of myself to dance. 100%.

Has being a dancer influenced your creative process at all?

Dance has influenced me creatively in many different aspects of the process. Growing up as a dancer, you immediately instill a high level of discipline and work ethic as a young child. We were training like athletes and expressing like actors. It shaped the way I hear music (especially my own), it developed my approach on execution and staying on my P’s and Q’s, and it allows me to perform and add a visual component to the sonics. I grew up admiring Michael Jackson, James Brown, JT, Usher and now Bruno Mars. They all hold all aspects of their art to such a high standard. I’m trying to set that exact same standard and quality, through my own vernacular.

Growing up in what can be considered as the epicenter of Canadian hip-hop, do you think Toronto, and the artists that have put it on the map, have influenced your sound at all?

I started learning how to make music right when the 2015-2016 Toronto rap boom happened, so definitely. I feel like Toronto artists collectively do such an amazing job at emulating the vibe of Toronto. At a time where Toronto was only synonymous with Drake (the GOAT), The Weeknd, and PND, Toronto artists really stepped up to the plate and let the world hear the type of shit we’re on. It's super inspiring, and I just want to keep pushing the envelope. I’m trying to land where no one has before, and make my mark in everything I set my mind to. I’m hungry and I want to get great shit done. I thank Toronto and the lively music scene in the city for sparking that.

Your first single “No Risk Involved” highlights the misrepresentation of Asian identity in mainstream culture. Why was it so important for you to create your own narrative and debunk westernized versions of Asian culture and identity?

My family was the main inspiration for wanting to evoke that conversation. Western media loves to exploit the great ideas from different cultures without ever giving credit to the cultures that cultivated them to begin with. They perpetuate false narratives and generalize us in order to keep control. I’ve seen what my family has gone through in order to even be here. My mom is Filipino, and my dad is Viet-Chin, so I’ve had my fair share of perspectives at a young age. One thing I can guarantee is that Asians aren’t as one-dimensional as the media portrays us to be. It’s about genuinely telling our stories, and being able to control the narrative in the world we share with the culture.

How was it filming the “No Risk Involved” video? Did you have a vision for how you wanted it to look?

It was amazing. I definitely felt back in my element while performing on-screen. The positive energy and hard work by everyone on set was the difference-maker. I feel like that energy shines through the video. I’m so grateful to have had such an amazing cast and crew, they fucking killed it. As for the concept, NRI was one of the very first concepts I started developing with my team. Had my first meeting with Angelica Milash, the director of the video, and everything clicked. The inspiration was drawn from aesthetics you’d see in legendary Hong Kong movies like Young & Dangerous. We also based the female looks on different characters from movies that included Asian characters with exaggerated Asian female stereotypes.

You once tweeted “I love good music but when an artist can pull off a great visual it tells you a lot about that artist.” Do you think it’s important for artists to be active creative directors in the videos they come out with?

Personally, I love dipping my fingers in every pot when it comes to my creative direction. I believe it takes a strong team in order to create beautiful shit, and, as the artist, I want to lead the team to victory. If one of us wins, we all win. Being active as a leader is what’s important. Sharing ideas, and building with the people around you. That’s how the best ideas shine through. You just gotta be a leader with this shit. Take control of your vision and work together to execute. If you aren’t paying attention to every aspect of your craft, you’re only going to see one perspective. At the end of the day, no one will execute your own ideas better than yourself. We all have that capability.

Your newest single “Akira Harakiri” is inspired by the 1988 cult cyberpunk film Akira. How did this iconic anime influence your lyrical and production process?

I wanted the essence of the track to emulate the same essence of the movie. The production was what sparked the idea. Colin Munroe was working on the beat while we bounced ideas around and I instantly felt the beat belonged in an anime. Akira was an automatic click. This song is supposed to feel like a song The Capsules gang would bump around Neo-Tokyo. I loved the dynamic between Kaneda and Tetsuo in the film, and wanted to combine the charisma and poise of Kaneda with the maniacal energy of Tetsuo. That’s also something I want to tap into on the visual component as well. This song is an homage to a visual masterpiece, as well as an iconic moment in film and culture.

What are some of your favorite anime films?

I grew up watching anime on TV like Dragonball Z, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Pokémon, Digimon. As I grew older, I wasn’t exposed to as much as before, but I rediscovered my love for it in high school when I binge-watched Death Note twice in succession. Now I’m trying to watch as much as possible. I feel like I have so much to catch up on lol.

What are some of your goals for 2020? Both as an artist and as a human being?

I want to work on killing the urge of having a cigarette or vaping again. I quit at the end of 2019, and started working out four times a day with my trainer. I’m trying to stay consistent in doing my laundry but that shit fucking sucks. I'm trying to meditate more, as I’ve recently picked up on transcendental meditation and want to keep consistent. Other than that I wanna keep dropping cool shit and repping what I know best. I wanna keep pushing myself to my limits and keep evolving. I hope people find strength in my music and I want to evoke new thought and conversation.

What can we expect to hear more of in your future projects?

More genuine energy. You’ll definitely be able to feel exactly how I felt when creating the music, from the growing pains to the gratitude. More singing too. You’ll be able to identify the spectrum of my sound, and how dynamic it is.

Who are your Ones to Watch?

I’ve been on my hip-hop shit as of late, so I’ve been bumping a lot of Kaash Paige, Fivio Foreign, The Kid LAROI and shit. Deb Never is an artist that I've been wanting to work with personally. Out of Toronto, definitely keep your eye out for Stefani Kimber. One of the most talented artists I’ve ever heard and a great human being. She’s definitely one of my top Ones to Watch artists.

[askeletonintheclosetfic]

The one with the black boots in summertime

June 25, 1986.

I can never know how to begin these things so I'm going to improvise this whole thing from the get-go. I have improvised things like this before: writing is in my veins, in my soul, in every inch of myself.

My name is Christina Moon, I am nineteen years old—I'll be turning twenty in five days. I never wanted anything more than to close out my teen years on a high note, and it looks as though it will. I also go by Chris and since I was a little kid, I've gone by Luna from my last name and the fact I'm a Cancer.

I was born in Reno, Nevada to Olivia and Vincent Moon, a headstrong journalist and a wandering businessman respectively.

Standard disclaimer: I have a good relationship with my dad, like I'll get a ring from him on my birthday or Christmas time, and sometimes I'll go down to Reno to visit him for Thanksgiving, but my mom and I haven't lived with him since I was in kindergarten. My mom, who's a born and raised New Yorker and thus lives and abides by the whole mantra of "I don't need no man", divorced him right after my fifth birthday and we moved up to Seattle for a new life. It made sense given I would start kindergarten that September: a brand new chapter in mine and my mom's lives. Regardless, that was still the first time I ever felt fully alone and without a friend to speak to.

Mom found a job as a journalist at the local newspaper shortly after we had moved, and she was the only person I had a means of communication with back then: even from a young age, I found myself spending a lot of time going solo. At some point I started taking after her, picking up a pen and applying it to paper. Let's just say I've kept a journal for as long as I can remember.

But on the other hand, I met my best friend Cecilia on the first day of school and we've kept at it all throughout school. Her name's Cecilia, but I've always called her Ceecee from day one. We were both lanky kids with our skinny limbs and narrow faces: I was the platinum blonde one where she was the fiery redhead. We did all the stuff that little girls do, from play dates to messing around with each other's hair: I always wanted to curl her straight maple red hair where she always teased me about taking some locks of mine and dyeing them outrageous colors like hot neon pink. I don't remember the context, but I do in fact recall making a promise to her that if we formed a band together in the future, I would color my hair for her.

She seemed intent on my dyeing my hair because I still remember the day she told me in the second grade that she wanted to learn guitar and she actually did it. I walked home with her to see it for myself: it was this beautiful little dark wooden acoustic guitar with a nice gloss to the body and a black neck: the strings were silvery and shiny, like the moon.

There was a pair of lacy lilies engraved near the bridge, and I immediately got a hankering to start a band with her. Since we were both latchkey kids, whenever I went over to her house, she and I traded off playing around with it. We never learned any one song per se, just more along the lines of jamming. She became the maestro where I leveled off to focus more on my writing, par in thanks to her mom suggesting she go into music theory when we grew old enough. Within time, Ceecee dove into classical music and jazz, and I into writing words down in a journal.

But I think that by the time we left second grade and ventured into that summer, I wanted to learn music on my part. I searched around for a guitar of my own, one that was to be exactly like hers, with the engraved lilies and everything.

It wasn't until the end of August, about three weeks before the first day of school, when Ceecee's older sister Clara, with her black shades hiding her dark visionless eyes from the damage of the sun, led me over to a ramshackle looking box to the curb right outside of their house. I always knew what she lacked in her eyes beginning from a young age she made up in her other senses. She told me she found it upon hearing it make a noise that resembled to reverberations, the ones from the body of a guitar, while she was walking along with her cane. She had tapped on the box with her cane for me and I knew what she was talking about. I opened up the lid to reveal a small fiery red acoustic guitar with little black flowers carved along the edge of the body. The strings were golden, and I knew it would serve to be the perfect contrast to Ceecee's guitar. I thanked Clara and, after helping her back into the house, I took it home with me.

I could never figure out how she did it: every day after school, she always jammed on it like clockwork, playing with her fingers along to Clara's Coltrane records and some Handel. On the other hand, I fiddled around with mine and made up a few riffs, none of which sounded good enough. I always gravitated back to my journal with words and phrases, in hopes to write a song. However, I figured maybe this could be the way we would operate in the future: I could give the lyrics where she could think of the music.

Mind, we were in elementary school when all of this was happening. It felt as though we were living our destiny, two best friends going into the great wide unknown with the tools of our trade.

But I insisted on playing the guitar. Clara found the box and I was always so adamant on playing on Ceecee's prior to that summer day.

There is in fact some good news, though: the first song I learned on my guitar was "Cracked Actor" from David Bowie and it only took me two weeks despite it being so easy to play. Ceecee joked to me that I could be the rhythm guitarist in our band, but I knew she was right. I just never reached the virtuoso level that she did by the time we reached high school and she officially decided on music theory as her career. Everyone always called her the girl who could give Frank Zappa a run for his money; I was always seen as the next Jim Morrison even though I'm a far cry from a poet.

We knew we were onto something great when she called me up one day and suggested we definitely go through with the whole band idea, which meant I had to dye my hair given I lost the bet. As she helped me color a few locks of my hair hot pink and neon blue, we thought of names together. I threw out the name Black Moon, as a hybrid of our last names Blackwood and Moon. She liked it because it sounded sinister like Black Sabbath, and yet girly and badass at the same time. Since it was just the two of us, we considered being the next Simon and Garfunkel, or Heart, given Clara didn't play an instrument but did make art via her sense of touch. We promised her that if we were ever signed a deal with a label, we wanted her to make the cover art for our album.

Sometime in our sophomore year, she picked up a bass. Now we could officially be a duo and perform if we wanted. We both polished up on how gear and things like that works, all the boring, stark mumbo-jumbo that no one wants to read about: we read about that and voraciously studied it. We were that hungry for success, which meant we would do anything, even if it included vowing to do the homework after doing our homework.

We both left our high school for a magnate school given our very specific career choices, and it almost became like obsessions with us. She was neck deep in the world of classical music and early jazz, and I was wanting to write every hour of the day. We both graduated last year in the eighth and ninth respective places overall: there was only a fifth of a grade point average separating me from our valedictorian. But it didn't matter at that point because we were en route to being the biggest girl duo to come out of Seattle, the next Heart.

But much to our chagrin, no one wanted to sign us. We were relegated to playing in my mom's garage when she wasn't home or in the Blackwood's garage for Clara. Our biggest hit was a cover of Heart's "Straight On" and that was because Ceecee always killed the solo, not because either of us were about to be the next Ann Wilson.

Rather recently, Clara suggested that we go to a concert, a big one at that, too, that is if we wanted an idea as to how to show off to a greater audience. She told us that even though we sounded good and tough and feminine, we didn't have that power. But she swore to us that she didn't want us to blame it on the fact we lacked a drummer. Neither of us had any desire to see Aerosmith or Whitesnake over in Spokane, and it was too far of a drive for either of us no matter who was playing, and all of the little punk shows around town always seemed to happen after the fact. To top it off, we live in Seattle: nobody comes here. It's one thing if we were living in New York City where my mom's from, but here, we're kind of our own thing. So it's rare to hear about a big North American tour stopping up here, much less the tour of anyone we're a fan of.

But I think it was when I walked to the market to pick up some things when I caught a glimpse of a flyer on a telephone pole. It was solid black and it advertised Ozzy Osbourne and three bands playing over at the Coliseum: Metallica, Anthrax, and Metal Church, and it was set to play tonight, one night only and add to this, it was an all ages show. I told Ceecee about it because we listen to Sabbath and Ozzy; Clara volunteered to come with us given she was older and handicapped, and later explained that by saying the ushers would treat us nice.

It wasn't just the ushers who treated us nice, but the fans waiting in line outside in the warm early summer Seattle sun, as well. They all seemed to appreciate the fact that Clara, despite being totally blind, wanted to take her kid sister and her best friend to a heavy metal show. There was this one guy waiting outside of the venue who was so nice to us and to Clara in particular.

He wore these big black boots with chains down the sides, big black boots despite it being the summer time. He looked like a rock n' roller with his long kinky curly black hair draped over his slim shoulders and mirrored sunglasses upon his face: he was very thin, skinny in fact, but had these cute little chubby cheekbones when he smiled at us. When he stepped in the shade, he removed his sunglasses and showed us these big brown eyes, as brown as the earth. When the sun shone upon his head, it was like looking on at a wise Indian chief at a sun ceremony.

It wasn't until we learned the show was canceled when we found out this man, Joey, was in fact the lead singer of Anthrax and the five of them got word that one of their fans who awaited outside was totally blind. Their guitarist Scott Ian attempted to head on out but he had to tend to something real quick with their manager. We didn't get the chance to meet them but Joey did vow to us that they would hang around in Seattle for a couple of days, especially once Ceecee told him that she and I were a band. It was almost like a fairy tale: three days ago, Ceecee and I were aching for an audience and now we had a looking in view with Anthrax, this quintet, coincidentally from New York that we only just heard of.

So here I am, writing about this experience and wondering if I'm dreaming. I'll write more after our lunch with Joey and the boys tomorrow, but now, sleep.