#fucking kills me man. and this is an important project i'd like to have a draft of by monday...

[twogoliathbeetles]

never ask me what i'm meant to be doing bc the answer is writing and yet. i'm never fucking doing that am i

[janewayintersection]

the amount of people who are like "omg i ditched kaidan for garrus after he was mean to me on horizon!!" baffle me. shit on bioware's writing for making shep work with cerberus all you want, but kaidan calling shep out on this and not joining them is NOT the issue. in fact, him reacting like this is why i love him??

he specifically states he trusts shep, just not cerberus. which is the only rational response in that whole entire goddamn game!! like?? you spend all of me1 stopping cerberus operations. they kill several alliance soldiers and admiral kahoku, try to make a rachni army -- they are WELL known for cloning and ais... miranda even outright states she wanted to plant shep with a control chip. there is literally zero reason for kaidan to believe the shep in front of him isn't some cerberus sleeper agent. or an ai. or indoctrinated. or being manipulated (THIS ONE IS CANON BTW). even if he trusts shepard, he doesn't trust cerberus not to pull any of this. quite frankly, i'm baffled more companions don't have this exact, entirely justified concern.

loyalty is important, but blind loyalty is dangerous.

honestly, the crew in me2 is lucky that the illusive man was so weirdly and uncharacteristically insistent on shepard remaining untouched. things could have gotten very bad otherwise.

being best friends with someone, or more notably, being in love with someone, isn't the end all be all magic potion in this world. being in love with someone doesn't mean you should blindly trust their actions. if my significant other joined a terrorist group, you can bet my ass i wouldn't join them! sorry! if anything, it's healthy that kaidan has his own sense of morals and priorities he follows over shepard. he's his OWN person, love shouldn't be something that makes you suddenly give up who you are and what you believe in.

not to mention kaidan is entirely out of the loop for the whole game. his intel states that cerberus is behind the abductions (the horizon incident is partially a result of cerberus' fiddling btw), and that shep has been alive and never even reached out to anyone. he doesn't have the information we the players have. he doesn't know that the illusive man insisted on no control chip. he doesn't know about the lazarus project or its specifics.

and as for the "cheating" discourse if you romance someone new in me2, i do personally believe shep getting with one of the me2 love interests is cheating on their me1 love interest. to shep, they skipped those two years. they wake up as they did during the me2 prologue. no time has passed. and then they immediately get with someone else after one (1) argument with their love interest over them, may i remind you, joining a terrorist group. even if you don't think it's "technically" cheating, it's at the very least pretty trashy and flakey.

if anything, i'm gonna say it! kaidan is more forgiving than i'd be! the fact that he even sends an email saying he still cares and that they can see what happens after this is all resolved is WAY more than i would have done. the fact that kaidan will find out shep got with someone else, and STILL be willing to give shep a chance is like. man. it's saying a lot. i am just saying.

imagine losing someone. you see them literally die as your ship explodes and they burn up in the nearby planet's atmosphere. you grieve. you put yourself into your work. then suddenly, two years, later. they pop back up again. ALIVE. and with a terrorist group. and basically tell you the equivalent of "just trust me bro" despite the fact that while you trust them, you don't trust the terrorist group. so you're like hey, what the fuck. why are you with a terrorist group. and they're like i'm not with them, we just have common goals. and you're like. i'm gonna say it again. i trust you, not the terrorist group. okay?? i can't join you for this reason. please be careful out there, seriously.

and then they immediately jump into the pants of that one guy you knew back on a mission from two years ago.

what would you do?? would you not feel hurt? betrayed? upset? confused?? i'm sorry, i'm completely on kaidan's side. i'd go as far to say that he's far more understanding than he should be in me2.

me3 is all about regaining that complete and undying trust back, and that cerberus didn't fuck around w shep. or that being with cerberus didn't change them. his "loyalty" quest is just visiting him in the hospital and showing him shepard still cares. that they're still the same. that cerberus truly didn't alter them. that there was more going on. that shepard was forced to work with cerberus out of complete necessity and only did what they thought was right. and i think that's neat!!!!

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

[fractualized]

And so begins the Knight Terrors interlude for TMWSL! I'd thought maybe we'd get more clues to the which-Joker-is-Joker mystery with this, but this issue opens in the dream, and over in Knight Terrors: First Blood, there's just a small close-up with Joker's face when he becomes afflicted with sleep so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyways spoilers, dark humor, and nightmarish imagery ahead.

The opening scene made me cackle, I found it so unexpected.

LOL Just. The fucking slide. Jesus.

Joker, Gaggy (whose presence may indicate the TMWSL backers are also dreams), and a goon (who is possibly a human stand-in for Jackanapes) confirm that Batman is, in fact, dead.

Aw, no point in the heist now that Batman is unable to stop it, and once again Joker's towing around the corpses of people he cares about.

He brought Bruce into the diner to sit next to him omfg

Earlier Joker laughed about Batman falling off the roof, but now it's sunk in that their epic battle ended forever in the dumbest way possible. Other heroes just don't have the same appeal.

Though Joker does try to keep up the fun.

But when the ship captain says it'll be easy for him to just hand it over…

It's just not the same. :(

PAUSE

I just want to highlight that Joker appears to be eating refried beans and marshmallows.

RESUME

As per usual, without Batman to fight, Joker realizes he doesn't have any other goals. Even Gaggy still has a taste for crime, and he throws the paper at Joker as he leaves.

(Side note: do you think Lex Luthor has shown up on Real Housewives of Metropolis? Like in party scenes or something?)

The Jobs section in the paper apparently spurs Joker to try something new. He goes for a job interview at none other than Wayne Enterprises, and we finally run into Insomnia.

Readers who've read Knight Terrors: First Blood will realize this man is this dream's manifestation of the Bad Guy Who Incited the Event, but if you haven't, just his appearance is a clue that something's not right about him.

But this is Joker's dream, so he doesn't notice anything weird apparently!

He looks like such a goof. 💕

Joker starts off the job by trying to search on his workstation for where all WE's money is or their secret weapons projects or…

….. something "of Bruce Wayne." Which has to be "naked pictures." I don't care if you think batjokes is real or not, that's the obvious fill-in.

We'll never know for sure because of Helen (which was also the name of the nurse in TMWSL #3 who called the cops on Joker at the hospital, and that probably doesn't mean anything, but I remembered it). Joker introduces himself.

(Johann was also a name from the hospital, the dead husband of that patient at the end of TMWSL #4. Which also probably doesn't mean anything but maybe Rosenberg could switch it up with names?)

Now that Batman is gone, it appears that Joker wants to start trouble at Bruce's old company instead. Even when he's trying to get a new purpose, it's still related to fucking with Bruce. Unfortunately for Joker, in a comedic bit about corporate bureaucracy, Helen reveals that their nameless department isn't really responsible for anything important.

A few weeks pass, and Johann becomes known as the office comedian.

But his supervisor does have complaints about his performance.

Joker does not respond well to this bad feedback!

Check out the issue if you want more of a man's head exploding.

The next morning, Joker tries to incite some kind of… uprising? Mass resignation?

Yeah, yeah, end-stage capitalism, we've all seen it, J.

In the regular world, Mr. Dee might be talking to Johann about that brutal murder in the breakroom, but as Joker prepares to take down Mr. Dee as well…

And here's some extra weirdness: Joker didn't start working at WE until after Batman plotzed himself. How has Bruce taken a shine to him?

That job title is killing me.

If you've taken a look at Knight Terrors: Batman, you know that Insomnia claimed that he has no control over where people's dreams go and that he's just going along for the ride. However, Insomnia certainly has control over how he presents, and he's looking for the Nightmare Stone. So I think the promotion he's offering is a careful suggestion to draw Joker deeper into this scenario to see if that's where Doctor Destiny hid the stone.

And it's interesting that Joker still says here that Batman is dead, despite two statements indicating that he's alive. If Batman is still around, that means so is Joker's reason for being. He should jump on this! But the thing is, this dream and TMWSL take place after Joker War, after the batjokes divorce. Batman explicitly abandoned Joker to figure out how to survive on his own, and they haven't seen each other since. In Joker 2021, Joker was implied to have suicidal thoughts. In TMWSL, we have one clown who left Gotham as soon as he returned, and another who was expressly depressed. Batman fucks with the rules of their game and ruins it? He might as well have died "like a %$!@?*& moron."

Insomnia is practically throwing a cue in Joker's face: Batman is still out there to play with! Joker can run out the door right now! Or he can burrow deeper into this new goal, into this dream, and hide from the abandonment. It feels like a test to see if Joker will take Insomnia where he wants to go.

And Joker chooses to burrow. More weeks pass, and now he's the funny(?) boss.

Instead of getting called to HR, he gets invited to drinks!

That guy's WTF, CAROL expression is killing me.

Wait. D'Amico??

That's the name of the doctor who pulled a bullet out of Joker's brain in TMWSL #3! These names can't be an accident at this point. I still don't know if they mean anything, but y'know, they're there.

Alright, so now Joker is at the point where he goes to office happy hours.

And he's not even killing anyone! That's a bad sign. Uh, for Joker, relatively. It's a good sign for anyone else. But who are those shadowy figures?

Our favorite murderclown is back in action, ready to remind any street thug that Gotham is his town!

Oh wait, it's not just any thug. It's Gaggy, who is very surprised to see Joker. Gaggy says he looked for Joker when he heard the rumors that Batman came back, and Joker tells him not to tell lies. His old life comes back and literally kicks him in the gut, once more telling him Batman is back, and Joker still doesn't want to hear it. He emphatically sheds the blood he just shed.

UM, YOURS? WHO ARE YOU?!

Just a jokey boss-guy, apparently…

It kills me that the fucking microwave is still there.

Yeah, you know this is definitely not a joke before we get to the end. Because Batman is definitely dead!

Until a guy says that Batman saved his wife from a mugging just last week.

Joker knows how handsome Batman is. That's why he was looking for those naked pictures.

So now Joker has someone not just referencing Batman or bringing up rumors, but talking about an actual encounter with for-real, swinging-around, totally alive Batman. And it seems to make him angry— until he waves it off, implying it might just be another guy. (And I mean, with all the kids Batsy's got around, maybe.)

He grimaces when the batsignal shines overhead, but again makes himself ignore it.

lol Is the white dog like a white rabbit? Knight Terrors: Poison Ivy also has a guy wearing a top hat with a white dog. I'm pretty sure that's not supposed to be Penguin because his shirt has shamrocks on it which feels more Jervisy… It won't be a shock if Mad Hatter has deeper involvement in these stories, but I didn't notice him in the Batman one so I dunno.

Once Joker gets in his apartment, we see flies. Lots of flies.

So back in the real world, Joker has been explicitly aware that Bruce Wayne is Batman since Snyder's run, but in this dream, he's back to separating them. Maybe this shift happened over the course of the dream, or maybe it's been since as early as the promotion conversation, when Joker didn't seem bothered by the mention of Bruce, but when Insomnia brought up Batman, Joker was quick to say he was dead. Either way, Joker's now acting like they're two totally different dudes, one a boring rich guy who Joker has no great interest in and never did, nosirree.

The news story is also interesting. Back near the beginning when Helen is explaining wtf their department actually does, it turns out to be, in a ludicrous roundabout way, related to accounting. So I'm guessing in Part 2, Johann gets called up to talk to Mr. Wayne about the mess… 👀

And Bruce Wayne is of little concern for someone who's gone up against Batman, now rotting in Joker's closet!!

Boy howdy.

This is an ominous chapter end for Joker. He wants to have some purpose outside of Batman, but 1) Batman is still obviously hanging over him no matter how much Joker tries to ignore him and 2) his efforts have thus far led him right back to where he was in his depression: rotting his brain with reality TV. Yeah, he has a job, but it means so little that it doesn't matter that he has no clue what he's doing. Yeah, his coworkers laugh at his jokes, but when they do it's because they're not taking him seriously at all. He's obviously harmed people, but they completely miss him as a threat. He's neutered!

So far, Joker's Knight Terror is a terrible dream about the stark way he sees life. You either get to be in endless magnificent rooftop fights with Batman, or you better find satisfaction in being an empty drone.

Putting this together with how TMWSL has been going and the Darwin Halliday stuff in Batman, it all feels like it's pointing to some change in direction for Joker in the future. I'm afraid I'm not going to like where it all ends up… but for now I'll keep enjoying Rosenberg's storytelling.

... Also hey is anyone at DC gonna write about where Joker got his fake eye? I know it doesn't matter but I keep wondering about it.

[peachymilkandcream]

Ready or Not|Part 10 (Finale)|Yandere Levi x Evelyn

(A/N: The end is here, I hope you guys liked this little extending of Break Me Slowly, or sequel, whatever you want to call it. I wasn't prepared to let them go just yet and I had to trick you guys in the beginning :) As per usual, you can still 100% recommend these two for oneshots, headcanons, or questions. Besides, in the future I will be doing more with them, probably an AU series if it hasn't already been chosen by polls. I hope you guys enjoyed my silly little story!)

WARNINGS: noncon, dubcon, manipulation, domestic abuse, yandere themes, forced marriage, forced pregnancy, stockholm syndrome, graphic depictions of violence, mind breaking, misogyny, etc.

===============================================

Levi could've beaten, kissed, ridiculed, or fucked his wife in that moment. She was the same as she had always been, stubborn, beautiful, everything he was not while also being just like him. All this rebellion hadn't changed who she was deep down.

Mrs. Evelyn Ackerman.

"Give me my son right now-" She forces out, fear making her entire body tremble.

"It's over Evelyn, you know I'd never let you get away with this, quit fighting already and let's go home."

"I'll never go back with you, all the suffering you caused-"

"I caused? You've done enough yourself sweetheart."

She scoffs. "Really, comparing me to you? That's low even for a monster like yourself."

"If the shoe fits princess. All those bodies in our basement aren't mine, besides, I saw your little project in that apartment of yours."

If possible she paled more. "That was- I had to-"

"And everyone I killed was for you or because of you."

"Don't you dare blame me for that-"

"Face it. All those men who you complained tried to come too near you, everyone who bothered you or threatened our relationship? Disposed of, because I care about you more than anyone else in this world. Your little friends the Azumabitos? Your selfishness turned any of them I could get my hands on into a stinking heap of rotting corpses."

"You didn't-"

"You don't know what I would do for you my dear, the lengths I would go to. All to make sure you're my happy wife. Now move your ass and let's go home."

"I won't, all of this, all of this sacrifice, it won't be for nothing-"

"Are you really going to let even more people die for your own selfishness? Because more will, Strecker is already being tortured as we speak for her role in your defiance. Her little friend might end up the same way. Because of you. Are you really going to sacrifice all of them to live a foolish dream?"

Evelyn felt numb, he was right, it was all her fault. All of this was her fault. Her mind was a mess, she didn't even notice Levi leading her on, packing her important things, and then taking her onto a waiting ship.

She had failed, this was her last attempt to be free of him. This had failed, she would never be free. Life was easier when she just accepted her role, besides, her son only wanted his father, not her. To give her children the best life possible it was with this man, her only chance at happiness was to bend to his desires and then she would have a good life too.

No matter how much she tried to run from it she would always be Mrs. Ackerman.

===============================================

As much as Levi wanted to punish her for her trespasses, he kept his temper in check by following Erwin's advice.

"It seems that relying solely on being rigid makes her rebel and do crazy stunts like this. My advice? Be kind to her, as kind as you can be."

Levi looked disgusted. "That's your plan. Be nice to her? She won't respect me."

"I didn't say not to be firm, but if you are a perfect husband then she'll trick her brain into questioning why she left in the first place when you're so good to her. I guarantee she'll never try this again."

Levi hated to listen to his Commander, but it was worth a try, at the end of the day if she rebelled more he could return to his brutality.

"Alright fine. I'll do it your way."

He was sweet and loving the whole trip, treating her like a child. Acting disappointed in her but never truly showing his anger. Being so gentle she didn't fight as he brought her to his bed and reminded her who she belonged to.

Evelyn's lack of emotions was mostly still due to disbelief that he had actually found her, coming to grips with the guilt over causing so much death because of her pipe dream. She'd get over it eventually, she'd need to step up and be a proper mother, not letting these ridiculous emotions getting in the way of her responsibility.

===============================================

Not long after bringing her back into her old life, Evelyn gave birth a second time, to a daughter they named Isabel. Levi was determined to have enough children to pay homage to each of those closest to him, either dead or alive. The thought of how many children that could be made Evelyn fill with dread, but she bared it, this really was to be her life. Nothing could stop Levi from having his way now. She must get used to it.

Lili still looked at Evelyn with guilt whenever the two passed by on the street. One holding the hand of her lover, the other possessively guarded.

But the physician didn't care enough to step in again. She still bore scars of Levi's rage, and the safety of those she loved was not worth that of a woman who's fate was like all those around her. Still, she felt bad whenever Evelyn walked by with her ever-growing family.

==============================================

Years had passed, and Evelyn's stoic nature about her marriage had softened. Levi was as rigid as ever, but she had learned to cater to his moods, and accepted punishment when she deserved it. Her plan originally upon coming back was to constantly get pregnant to avoid pain, but after hours of Levi on top of her breeding her again and again, she had come to look forward to it.

Now he cared for her needs, making her feel more excitement than any other of the women in their social circles. She was proud, arrogant, she was an Ackerman. An equal to the most powerful man on earth.

Those who had judged their humble beginnings cowered in fear at the brutality and cold exterior of the impenetrable couple unit. Everyone said Evelyn had changed, becoming just like her husband, unbearably cruel but with the wealth, power, and status to get away with it.

Any who dared to stand up to them or look deeper into their family life met a swift end. The couple turning it into a competition who got to their victim first. Most had a feeling about what happened, but the government didn't dare touch them, the backhanded deals funding their new weapons.

They were on top of the world.

================================================

"I don't understand it Evelyn, you used to make such wild claims about what Levi would do to you. Now you use your last name with pride. What changed?"

Her bright red lipstick stained the tea cup. "If you have power. Use it darling. Levi is a heartless bastard, but so am I. We truly are made for each other. I couldn't imagine life any other way."

The woman scoffs. "But you can't love him."

"No. You squawking hens "love" your husbands. I adore mine. He is everything to me. Do you understand that feeling? I would die for him, kill for him. And he for me. I am so deeply in love with him if you continue to spew your bullshit I'll slit all your throats."

She stands and sets down her cup, smoothing out her skirts. "Now if you'll excuse me. I promised my husband I'd meet him outside by now, thank you for tea."

Evelyn leaves them all standing there, stepping out and getting into the carriage where her husband waits.

"Did you have a nice time?"

"As nice as could be expected."

"So as usual then, I have to find you a new ladies group."

"Most likely. Although I'm sure some of them have a thing for being degraded since they keep coming back."

He chuckles. "I'm sure."

"One thing I am curious about."

"And that is?"

"That day, Kenny left, he said something to you, about me. What did he say?"

"Why does that matter after all this time?"

"Just curiosity, I'm pregnant and in a bad mood, humor me."

He sighs. "He told me to watch out for you. To protect you at all costs, even at the risk of my own life. That from now on we only had each other and we were inseparable. Even back then he could tell that I loved you, and he told me to love you fiercely, because you were a fighter and could only be loved intensely or you'd fly away."

"If he saw you now, would he have believed you took his advice?"

"No. He'd be horrified with how far I've gone to live up to his words. How I twisted them selfishly and don't regret it. And never will regret it. But I can live with that. My love for you goes beyond that."

"I see."

"I love you. Truly and deeply. And because I love you I broke you."

"And because I love you I let myself be broken."

The End

[voltfruits]

aubreycore playlist for auby enjoyers

paramore - "ignorance"

the beths - "whatever"

sonic youth - "catholic block"

neko case - "middle cyclone"

mitski - "townie"

car seat headrest - "something soon"

sleater-kinney - "dig me out"

green day - "having a blast"

fiona apple - "criminal"

liz phair - "crater lake"

guided by voices - "game of pricks"

beach bunny - "promises"

hop along - "waitress"

be your own pet - "black hole"

indigo de souza - "real pain"

EMA - "butterfly knife"

the new pornographers - "letter from an occupant"

phoebe bridgers - "graceland too"

bikini kill - "rebel girl"

i'm not expecting anyone to read this far but. explanations. lol

ignorance: i think the possible time frame for omori is situated a few years before paramore's popularity really took off, but they're the patron saints of bratty emotional 00s teens and it's easy to imagine aubrey being a fan. this particular song is just brimming with righteous fury, and the lyrics are pretty obviously relevant: "I'm not the same kid from your memory, well, now I can fend for myself / don't wanna hear your sad songs, don't wanna feel your pain when you swear it's all my fault, 'cause you know we're not the same"

whatever: this is an aubybasil anthem to me!! but it's an angsty one. it's about being let down by a friend over and over until you finally snap. i can imagine aubrey belting "we're blood and water but my back is blown, your shoulders slumped saying 'you should have known I'd let you down again'" as basil guiltily cowers/whimpers before her lol

catholic block: as aubrey grows up postgame i imagine she leaves behind pure teen-angst emo in favor of more sophisticated indie rock (maybe this is just me projecting my musical hyperfixations onto her lmao), and i headcanon sonic youth as one of her eventual fav bands. the exact lyrics here are hard to pin down, but it's clearly about having a bad relationship with catholicism, so it's fitting.

middle cyclone: a lovely, vulnerable, stripped-down ballad from one of the most badass vocalists in music today. acknowledging aubrey's softer side is just important as capturing her power and anger, and no lyric is better suited for that than "i can't give up acting tough, it's all that i'm made of / i choke it back, how much i need love."

townie: i know i'm not the first person to associate this song (or mitski in general) with aubrey. it's just. ugh. so good. "i'm holding my breath with a baseball bat, though I don't know what i'm waiting for / i am not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be." fuck yeah man.

something soon: car seat headrest is my favorite band and i think aubrey would like them lots too, both for the rawness and explosiveness of their tunes and the insightful way their lyrics explore queerness, depression, and feeling trapped. "something soon" is one of the fiercest and gnarliest songs in their catalogue, and it it captures feelings of young adult desperation like nothing else. we've got lyrics that capture aubrey's more impulsive and violent tendencies ("i want to break something important / i want to kick my dad in the shins") along with a laundry list of poor, abandoned teenage grievances ("i can't talk to my folks / all my fingers are froze / only one change of clothes"). i mean, have we ever seen present day aubrey wear more than one outfit? (i am escorted off the premises for being too silly)

dig me out: sleater kinney is so aubreycore. they are THE girlboss indie punk band. my reasons for choosing this one are mostly based on vibes, it just sounds nasty and desperate and in terrible pain

having a blast: if you're a mentally unwell 16-year-old in a miserable US suburb there is a 100% chance discovering green day's dookie will change your life. i mean. "no one here is getting out alive, this time i've really lost my mind and i don't care / so close your eyes and kiss yourself goodbye, and think about the times we've spent and what they meant." church fight, anyone?

criminal: a photobomb anthem all the way through. just listen to it.

crater lake: underrated bop from the queen of 90s lofi. "and oh, all the tears in four tiny years / well, look at me, i'm frightening my friends." she even got the number of years right, bravo!

game of pricks: my favorite song right now, i've listened to it so much this week!!! it's like. the platonic ideal of a pop song. it's all melody. it's sounds so joyful and yet so melancholic. the lyrics capture a more subdued bitterness/disappointment that i think suits aubrey super well, since she isn't just a rage monster all the time. the one i really wanna draw attention to is: "i'll climb up on the house, weep to water the trees / and when you come calling me down, i'll put on my disease." idk i just. think it's touching how aubrey privately "weeps to water the trees" (uses her grief to elevate mari's memory and try to embody her after her death) but the moment she crosses paths with her past, she can't help being overtaken by the "disease" that is rage and disgust. she's trying so hard to put her pain to good use but she can't control the impulse to wreck everything instead. idk that's what that means to me

promises: beach bunny makes music that's cute and sunny but also rocks hard, which i think would appeal to aubrey. this is a song about being abandoned by an old friend/partner ("a minute you're there, a minute you cared, now you're gone / it's so unfair, keeping me from moving on") that i think functions especially well as an angsty sunburn song, knowing aubrey would confide in sunny when they were young.

waitress: this is a song about the crushing indignity of the service industry which isn't very aubreyesque LOL but i just fucking love hop along and i think aubrey would love them too. painted shut is an all time classic album and its combination of driving guitars, caterwauling vocals, and a vaguely haunted and musty atmosphere just sound the way aubrey's character feels. also i wanna single out the lyric "call you enemy 'cause i'm afraid of what you could call me" because DAMN. that is so her.

black hole: pretty self-explanatory rager about small town boredom. cheesy as hell, but it's what you need when you're 16.

real pain: this song, to me, is about aubrey trying in vain to convince herself that mari's death (and in certain endings, sunny and basil's deaths) are not her fault ("i don't believe the things i've done, i don't believe the weight i've been"). she clearly can't convince herself, though, because the song bottoms out in a storm of gut-wrenching screams like all a person's inner demons pouring out. sorry aubs :(

butterly knife: not really the closest match from a lyrical perspective, unless you count the line about pet rabbits, but i'm putting it on here because it's the best song from EMA's past life martyred saints, which is another album that sounds so much like aubrey to me. it's written from the absolute depths of mental fucked-upness, but it sounds so cool and subtle, almost ambient. it's the aural equivalent of aubrey's usual vibe; aloof, tense but subdued, keeping that storm of emotion just under the surface. just.

letter from an occupant: another all-time classic from one of my favorite bands, this is the perfect concoction of beautiful melodies, sugary guitars, and belt-your-heart-out vocal performances that i think does a good job capturing the cute-but-intimidating dichotomy of aubrey's vibe. the lyrics are mostly nonsense, but "with a shower of yeahs and whatevers, you trade me away long gone" is a wonderful line that captures aubrey's abandonment and her frustration with her old friends' apathy.

graceland too: oh god. this one. is based on my headcanon that aubrey moves out from her mother's house postgame and lives with polly and basil. i'm just gonna drop the whole first verse and try not to cry. "no longer a danger to herself or others, she made up her mind and laced up her shoes / yelled down the hall, but nobody answered, so she walked outside without an excuse / she could do anything she wants to, she could do whatever she wants to do."

rebel girl: during the time the game takes place, this is aubrey and kim's favorite song. they sing it to each other to hype themselves up. they know all the lyrics by heart. it's Their Song. listen to it and it's probably pretty clear why.

[tobiasdrake]

Amazing how, despite the absence of Peacekeepers in our face right this second, this is nonetheless the worst its ever been.

I'm not saying Makoto fucked us all. ...but I'm not not saying that. If things continue down this path, Makoto will have killed Huesca and destroyed the Nocturnal Detective Agency, something Yomi's been trying and failing to do for weeks, all in one fell swoop. Yomi will get to ride the high of killing us all and Makoto gets to go home secure in the knowledge that he made this checkmate happen.

Assuming this is the outcome that he intended to happen, of course. But I've watched Makoto work Yomi over. Man's playing 4-D chess while we're all playing checkers. It is highly possible that he meant all of this to happen.

So this is our motive. To escape the base, we have to find Fink and prove his existence to Yomi - Which will likely involve some retaliatory soul-reaping to avenge Yakou.

Probably not. Like I said earlier, if all of these security measures are stopping us from leaving then they may be stopping Fink from leaving too. It's possible he's still in the building. If he didn't get out before they turned off the elevator, he may even still be on this floor.

Right now, Yomi's licking his wounds and figuring out what to do with us. We have breathing room. This is the perfect time to act.

Desuhiko's not wrong and this is a common complaint I have with Yuma's behavior. But it's better than sitting around with our thumbs up our asses, wondering how long until Yakou draws his final breath.

If Halara's with us then we must be on the right path! Let's do this!

Astral projection. Which means if we hold his hand, we can astral project too.

Hold up, condition? You gonna tell me what that means, big guy?

I will tear you in half little man.

I mean, I won't. But if you swing on Vivia, I will offer Halara a fiver to snap you in two. I don't even care that Vivia could outfight you in his sleep. They can both kick your ass together.

It's astral projection. I knew it. This spiritual ability is probably also why he can see Shinigami. He has one foot in the plane that she exists on.

This is going to be fun. I can't wait to Coalesce with it! Vivia, you and I are going to be the best of partners.

CHOKE ON YOUR TONGUE. I wanna be a gho~ost! T_T

He is looking right at Shinigami as he says this. He knows exactly what's going to happen if he helps us.

No, we won't. Yomi's a fascist prick. Before Halara showed up, he was kicking Yakou's body to help him die faster. We're supposed to trust that guy with Yakou's medical care?

You and me both, my guy. I feel you. I'd love to live in that world too. But it isn't what we have. It's important to always keep moving forward, to keep striving to build a better world to live in. But to always keep one eye on the world that presently exists.

I wish I could believe that Yomi is a good-hearted well-meaning guy who will engage with us in good faith and offer Yakou the care that he deserves. I wish I could have faith that our situation is such.

But I don't. His behavior has given me zero confidence in his willingness or ability to treat us fairly.

Too harsh, Halara. While I agree that Vivia should help me commit long-range remote-murder, I can't fault him for his reluctance to do so. He's got a good heart.

Yes to that first one; He does seem violently concerned about the presence of the Book of Death among us, and its involvement in our activities. Rightly so. It's killing people.

Vivia once again cutting to the thematic heart of these investigations. Through the Mystery Labyrinth, the price we pay for the answers we find far outweighs the value of those answers. We trade lives in exchange for secrets that weren't worth those lives.

Should he truly help us do it? Take the blood upon his hands, the same as ours? Desuhiko and Halara can't fathom what he's talking about because they don't know. They don't understand what's at stake here. But Vivia knows. He sees the monster that lurks over Yuma's shoulder and feeds on souls unjustly condemned.

I hope he sticks to his guns. I know he won't, 'cause we have a case to crack and game mechanics won't let us just call it here. But this is a strong moment for him.

Oh, we're going to trick him. Wow. That's dangerous. We don't even know if we'll be able to get our soul back in its body without his help.

Never mind, he knew exactly what we were on about.

Yeah, he rolled over fast. "I won't do the thing because I'm morally opposed to it. I have no qualms with helping you do the thing, though. It's not the doing of the thing that I'm against; I just don't want to do it myself."

SPOOKY GHOST. This is awesome. I'm going to investigate so many things and they won't be able to stop me. And maybe finally take my chance to rub my butt on Yomi's desk like I promised.

Gotta keep my word, y'know. It's called integrity.

[ecoamerica]

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

[joyflameball]

I feel like artifically generated art (AI art, I'm calling it artificially generated art due to accuracy) CAN be used well in some places. I feel like using artificial generated art in horror could get mileage, especially if you wanna create something that hits the uncanny valley, where it's almost normal but something is just wrong.

There's an analog horror series called Dreams Of An Insomniac that used artificially generated faces for any character with their face shown, and it feels like something is fundamentally wrong with those faces. It's hard to pinpoint what exactly is wrong- it looks smudged, but not completely, it's just wrong. Something is just wrong with the images of their faces. (I'm pretty sure artificially generated art was later used to show the aftermath of Something Very Bad Happening to of one of the characters, but I had scrolled down because I am a scared little bitch, so I am clueless as to what his fate looks like exactly, but I am fairly certain he turns into a living skeleton if the words "bones and flesh becoming fused" is any indication. In fact the reason I don't have screenshots of DOAI is because the first video scared me a lot and I don't have the courage to rewatch it.)

And there's a thumbnail made with NeuralBlender for an isolation of the song Kiss Me (Kill Me) that genuinely creeps me out. It's one of the best isolations of the song I've heard, it actually keeps some of the great build-up in the song (unlike most isolations), but I can't watch it because of the thumbnail. It's hard to describe- what sort of looks like a finger twisted into the shape of lips, connected to something made of flesh that simultaniously looks like a broken twisted part of the body, and looks like no body part that exists. Just a twisted amalgamation of skin. An unsettling attempt to maybe engrave the title of the song into it in bloody-looking marks. It's decorated with what could me smudged lipstick or raw flesh exposed after peeling up skin. (Strangely fitting with the rest of the song [which talks about flesh and maps made of skin and rotting meat].) It feels wrong to look at. It feels wrong that it exists. One of the top comments of the video said it looked like looking at something trying to kiss and eat itself at the same time.

So artificially generated art being used (AT TIMES) in horror to hit uncanny valley? Artificially generated art being used to create something that's almost normal but off? That sounds like a genuinely good idea. Artificially generated stuff can have a wrong, uncanny feeling to it- look at how it's tried to mimic hands. So it being used in horror to enhance suspense and tension with something that looks almost from our world but wrong sounds like a brilliant idea.

It just shouldn't supercede actual artists, no matter what. Artificially generated art can be used as a tool to help artists, for example artificially generated art being used in DOAI to help add to the tension in how fucking wrong the faces look. But that's artificially generated art being used to help an artist in one aspect of their project. It can't replace the artist(s) who made it, because they are the most important part. They're the reason the art even exists. artificially generated art is a tool, but it cannot replace artists. It can harm them, or it can be used as an aid.

Sadly, as is, feeding the artificial generation database is a bad idea due to A) how unregulated it is, and B) people wanting to just straight-up replace artists with it. It's a genuine shame though, I'd love to see how artists use artificial generation to enhance horror experiences. It could be a cool tool. But right now, using it would harm artists more than it'd help them. Shit's fucked man

[adultswim2021]

The Venture Bros. #48: "The Better Man" | December 7, 2009 - 12:00AM | S04E07

I think I figured out a big reason why I love The Venture Bros, but unfortunately I can’t spend too much time expounding on this in a non-shallow way: it reminds me of Ducktales. Because sometimes they go on a big adventure to an exotic locale, and sometimes they have to spend an afternoon killing money-eating bugs in Uncle Scrooge’s money vault. 

In this one, Orpheus and the triad are shown up by the Outrider, the man who “stole” Orpheus’s wife. But he ends up in hot water and requires Orpheus’s help after being trapped in hell. Billy Quizboy does illegal surgery again! And: also: we get the return or H. Jon Benjamin as the master, who reveals himself to Triana and scares her away from Dean and encourages her to go live with her mom and become a dang Harry Potter. 

This one’s sorta important in that it helps drive home the fact that Triana and Dean do not belong together, and it writes her mostly out of the show. At least it writes her out of the compound (she comes back at least one other time I can think of). But mostly it’s just about the characters hanging out and stuff. Yeah, there’s a big scary monster from hell, but a lotta of the episode is just about Hank and Dean going to the mall and sexually harassing women. Dermott is there, too! He’s one of the rudest guys on the show, so cherish him. 

I am struggling to come up with compelling highlights to illustrate the fact that I enjoyed this episode, which I actually did a great deal. I think I’m just happy that it doesn't’ have a plot I feel compelled to write-up extensively. So I’ll just list gags now I liked: 

The Matthew Lesko reference. It is fucked up that that dude has a suit with question marks and not dollar signs. Could it be the Mandingo effect? Oh, in my reality we call it the Mandingo effect because–

A fairly neutral “transgender” joke! In 2009! They didn’t even gratuitously use the slur! Wait, I like a lack of slurs?? SINCE WHEN??? 

“I look like Rufio!” 

The whole scene where the Master pretends to be future Dean is bleak as fuck. Hilariously Jackson and Doc said they based his look on Bernard Goetz. I mean, look at this and tell me he doesn’t belong in the Ventureverse:

A thing I didn't LIKE, per-se, but bears mentioning: maybe one of the worst production errors of the show has Dean wearing a suit to impress Triana, then suddenly not, then it's back again. I originally thought it was due to them shuffling the scenes in the edit but Jackson took responsibility and said he approved of the storyboards of a suitless Dean without thinking. God DAMN him!

EPHEMERA CORNER

Christmas in December Specials (December 13, 2009)

Even MORE Christmas in December to Tell in the Dark. This night featured a few other Christmas episodes but not that many more. I'd rather not post the schedule because of SPOILERS!!! Also, I thought maybe they did something else that was special, but if I am to read Swimpedia correctly the previous Sunday's "Christmas in December" was the one that featured the shop-at-home segments and not this one. I refuse to delete this paragraph. Sorry.

MAIL BAG

I just heard the good news: Adult Swim 2021 is coming to FunnyOrDie to cover Tim and Eric projects as bonus emphemera content. W00T!

The cat is "right out" of the bag: I will be doing this in some form. In fact, I sorta regret not attempting to include more non-Adult Swim Tim & Eric stuff in the ephemera section (like the Shrek 3 promos, for instance), but that's okay. But I do sorta think those are significant in that they are an important stepping stone towards Bedtime Stories. But I'm not gonna cover Eric's music videos or his future court case (speculation)

[suhmayzooka]

Sano trio for the ask game please?? 👀✨

YAYY!!! my boys<3<3<3

rin:

1: sexuality headcanon gay gay homosexual gay gay. also, i learned about what transgender was due to some trans rin headcanons/fanfics/meta i read during the height of the fandom, so trans man rin is also something that's been in the back of my mind 2: otp sourin >>>>> permanently changed my brain chemistry and ideal of relationship; rinrei is so much funnn i swear; and ofc sano trio as a whole!! 3: brotp rin & haru--while i don't think of them romantically, their relationship is the cornerstone of the whole story and i love how they're always pushing each other to go further rin & nagisa--such an underrated relationship but in the original book rin teaches nagisa to swim and nagisa from then on really looked up to rin as an older mentor. i love them because they're so unexpected as a friendship, but they really have a deep bond that i wish was more present in the show (besides a few "rin-rin!") rin & makoto--SUCH an important relationship for both of them!!!!! they're the real complements of each other, i think, rin is fiery and passionate and sharp and makoto is grounded and doting and UGHHHH 4: notp when i was younger i'd say rin x haru, less due to the actual relationship and more due to the way SOME fans treated me at the tender age of like 13.... i don't dislike them enough to say they're my notp, but i guess yeah, they're my notp 5: first headcanon that pops into my head he's a thirty seconds to mars stan (bc of that one shirt he wore that looked like the 30stm triangle...) fuck jared leto and everything but i think rin learned english partially through music. he's also a swiftie 6: favorite line from this character oh god.... "PERFECT BODY" 7: one way in which I relate to this character every way he's my blorbo whom i project onto ever since i was in middle school . um. who said that i think i really connected to both his emotional crybaby ways (i cry at conflict), his hopeless romantic nature, and his insecurities, feeling like you're meant to do something but you hit a wall and just.,. can't. 8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character his fashion.......i'm sorry but........ i cannot defend you ....... 9. cinnamon roll or problematic fave? LOL depends on who you ask! he's a cinnamon roll who looks like he can kill you

sousuke:

1: sexuality headcanon: also gay but at the same time, i don't think he really cares much for romance outside of his immediate partner, you know? so i guess somewhere on the demi spectrum 2: otp sourin, again, and soukisu, and basically the whole sano trio. oooh special mentions to soumako and souharu, for no real canon reason aside from them having some really good fan artists and writers 3: brotp sousuke & nitori & momo; he's a good mentor to them, and they have so much respect for him (while knowing how to have fun). sousuke & gou--after rin left for australia, i imagine him and gou spending more time together. bonding over rin lol there was that scene where he gave her his jacket during the water gun fight that always gets me 4: notp hmm. don't really have one? maybe sousuke x gou? i really can't think of him viewing her as anything other than his sister 5: first headcanon that pops into my head that he likes opera, and this is ENTIRELY due to an old fic @testosterogna wrote that i read back in my youth and i SOMEHOW actually forgot i read it in a fic and thought it was canon. 6: favorite line from this character "because i knew you would cry" (ಥ﹏ಥ) 7: one way in which I relate to this character we're both stoic and monotone and come across as aloof/cold. he probably has a touch of the 'tism like haruka does. oh and i'm terrible at directions kajsdhaskljdh 8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character when he found haru and backed him into the wall like "don't u DARE hurt my man again >:(" and haru was like :| you dUMBASS WHY DID YOU HIDE YOUR STUPID INJURY ??? DO NOT DESTROY YOUR CAREER FOR LOVE!!!! IDIOT (ಥ﹏ಥ) 9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? looks like he could kill you, doesn't care enough to try

kisumi

1: sexuality headcanon this is one i'm actually 10000% assured of, unlike the other two above where i was just like 'yeah probably' this is something i actually dedicated a LOT of time to thinking about and even starting a fic years ago: he's asexual. i don't remember WHAT i read all those years ago, but i found some asexual kismui hcs and it just clicked. i can't imagine him any other way. i think he's also demi or grayromantic; his 'relationships' are closer to QPR than, i suppose, traditional 'romance.' he's sex-favorable to neutral, but it's not something he really craves and he doesn't feel sexual attraction. he's still a massive flirt and a gossip and loves to know about/mess with his friends' love lives 2: otp sano trio!!! asakisu too, and hiyokisu could be fun. 3: brotp kisumi & makoto. "JOIN THE BASKETBALL CLUB!!!!!!" 4: notp kisumi x most people 5: first headcanon that pops into my head well, the first one is that he's ace, the second is that he's a plant lover, which is less headcanon than it is me extrapolating from some official art 6: favorite line from this character probably everything he says to haru. OHH and when he casually is like "oooh sousuke didn't tell you about his super plot-relevant secret? oooh too bad. anyway i'm out!" 7: one way in which I relate to this character me having ace kisumi was 100% me projecting when i was younger and ID as asexual, but i relate to the love/protectiveness he feels over his younger brother 8: thing that gives me second hand embarrassment about this character the way he tried to get everyone to join his basketball team </3 baby you're in the wrong anime you missed the casting calls for kuroko i'm sorry 9: cinnamon roll or problematic fave? sinnamon roll :3

character ask game

[multi-lefaiye]

1, 7, 13, 22!

thank u thank u!!!

Give short descriptions of all your current WIPs.

Well. Okay. We're gonna be here a while- okay I won't count the WIPs that are bare concepts/just lists of characters so far, to make this easier on myself.

A Modern Ghost Story - A group of semi-famous ghost hunters meets a group of semi-infamous immortals, and the two clash and bicker as they try to find a way to help a family deal with their ghost problem.

Bleeding Over Eden - Local man has so, so many problems, and he's going to put off addressing them for as long as possible and instead try to help everyone else with their problems. Also his ex, who was supposed to be dead, is back in his life now.

For We Are Both Fragile Things - Two gay guys, one trans and one cis, meet in college and fall in love, but everyone else realizes they're dating long before they do. It's a cute, classic slowburn! Except oh no things are TOXIC!!!!!! Also supernatural bullshit is happening but don't worry about that.

The Ruins of Memory - Fantasy sapphics, or: local woman is stressed and sad and has no memories, so she and her girlfriend are helping everyone else with their problems while trying to find the truth of who she is.

God Died With Wooden Bones - Local radio intern wants to stop his boss from summoning the old gods, and he's kind of upset about it, but really he probably shouldn't be doing that while he's at work so who's the real bad guy here.

Blackwell & Linwood - Mean spitfire of a private detective gets drawn into a supernatural adventure against his will, and by god if he isn't going to spend the whole time bitching about it.

CUDAAS - A group of angels and demons (well, not really, but they're at least the equivalents of that) become friends, several of them fall in love, and on the way they realize the power of working together and unionize. Also they kill a god or two.

Rook - A murder victim wakes up after their murder and decides to go on the hunt for their murderer, with the help of an amateur psychic.

I feel like I'm missing one. But this is a lot so that's all I'll do for now.

What books have shaped the way you think about writing the most? Why?

Okay here me out. Warrior cats. Warrior cats is the reason I started writing, and it's had the biggest impact on me as a writer.

I recognize that the writing in Warriors fucking sucks at the worst of times, and at the best of times it's.... decent. However, it was the first book series that got me super super invested, and it had a huge influence on me b/c I'm forever attached to animal fantasy and it influenced my writing in ways I don't fully know how to explain!

Also it kinda.... in a weird way, as I've gotten older.... has given me pretty strong opinions about What Not To Do. Namely, holy shit did Warriors teach me the importance of keeping track of your characters from the beginning of the story oh my GOD. Like I'm not perfect but OH MY GOD.

Other series that have definitely influenced me are Tales From the Gas Station (obviously lmao), the Fablehaven series, The Da Vinci Code and related books, Penpal by Dathan Auerbach, aaaand I don't remember a lot of their names but all the horror books I used to fucking devour and scare the shit out of myself with.

Describe your writing style.

Wow, those sure are sentences sometimes!

Jokes aside, I'd describe my style as, like... I like close POVs, but not close enough for first-person (I hate writing in first-person), I enjoy playing around with grammar and I try to have variety in my sentence length but I find myself tending towards long-ass sentences, aaaaand I like to try to be funny. I find sarcastic narration a delight to read.

How much of your own self/experiences do you believe pours into your projects? If this differs per project, which projects have the most and least of you?

This definitely differs per project, but I tend to put a lot of myself in my characters and storylines because for me, much of the time, fiction is how I process shit. I love to explore grand ideas, but sometimes you gotta just make a sad little guy and either give them the life you want or the life you've had and hope things get better.

I think the project that this is most apparent in, though, is one that I've kinda put to the wayside for many years now because it's SO personal that I actually don't really enjoy working on it usually. But that story deals a lot with some personal trauma, as well as in general is based on my complicated relationship with my gender and being an older sibling.

(And without going into it too much b/c I don't want to share too much personal trauma stuff publicly, the main idea of that story is an idea that I find myself really drawn to in fiction, which is the struggle of being an older sibling who couldn't protect their younger sibling.)

I think the story that has the least me in it would be CUDAAS, but even then it carries a lot of my perspectives on the world, people in power, and what makes someone truly human.

And also yeah the latest kinda-not-really WIP idea that crawled into my brain last night is also, if I go through with it, probably gonna be based pretty heavily on some shit I've been coming to terms with recently.

[sansxfuckyou]

Sanctum

Summary: Trunks is gifted the terrible honor of regaling the tales of how important his Son Goten was, in turn, he ends up helping another Son Goten get his head clear and figure out how too bite the bullet

Warnings: Check Ao3 port for full tags

Authors Note: I started rewatching GT with my little bro and my dad because hey, why not, and then this ended up in front of me.

"What was I like in your future?" Goten asked excitedly, and it really, really stung to hear him use 'was' instead of 'am.' He's sixteen now, he definitely understands the concept of death, and the idea that Trunks had the worst timeline.

Trunks gave a sigh, well, he did suppose that his Goten was probably dead at this rate. He can't help but bring a hand to brush through faded lavender locks, "Where do you want me too start?"

"Was he actually in your timeline, cause, mom told me that he wasn't," Goten asked, and those words forced the air from Torin's lungs.

"He almost didn't exist in my timeline, when my Chi-Chi died my own mother took it as her responsibility to try and salvage the unborn. She managed to do so just barely and then he was passed around and raised by each of the survivors a little bit. He did his best and we trained with each other under Gohans watch, helping around the lab while trying to not die. He was great," Trunks heaved a heavy sigh, shoulders dropping and gaze trained on the ground, "I don't know what else there is too tell you."

"Did he use weapons?" Goten asked, tone shifting to one of an interrogative nature, "How did he fight?"

Trunks nodded to the first question, "He had some spiked brass knuckles, he couldn't coordinate with an actual weapon. He was always more of a brawler than a speed fighter, he never learned instant transmission and he was bad at using his ki in projectile attacks. But I've never seen anyone bash open skulls like he could," He almost sounds wistful as he speaks, he represses anything intense from showing on his tone.

Goten gave a hum, "Do you think he's worried about you?"

"I," There's a pause, "I don't even know if he's still alive. Black is ruthless, unrelenting, if he gets a chance to kill either of us, he'll take it."

"He is worried about you," Goten said, and he said it so confidently that Trunks believed him entirely. He stared at Goten, he could lose himself in the obsidian depths of his eyes, it's missing the glaze of fire that's yet to be ignited. Trunks wonders what the spark will be for this Goten, for his Goten it was having Gohan die.

"You think?" Trunks asked as tugged at the hem of his jacket, a deep navy hue, leather fabric. He nearly lost it in the first fight with Black, when he brutally interrupted his first chance to go on a picnic. His first chance to breath easy, and he planned full well on enjoying it. But the rage Goten displayed right then and there, the sound of bones shattering and sinew snapping as he went absolutely feral? It almost made up for it even though it put a massive target on his head.

Goten nodded, "He fucking loves you man, he's definitely worried about you, he's not going down unless you're going with him," His speech is picking up pace the further he gets into it, his tone is growing agitated. He looks up from the ground and forces a smile, "I mean, I'd think so at least."

Trunks is merely stunned into silence at the sudden exposition into this Goten's head. A hundred doors just swung wide open and Trunks gets to look into all of them whether he likes it or not. He swallowed thickly, "No, you're right, he isn't gonna go down easily."

"Fuck no. He's me, he needs you to be there to hold his hand even when you're in the dirt," Goten said, voice petering off to a tone much quieter as he spoke until he mumbled.

Trunks stood up and held out a hand, "Wanna spar?" He isn't good at feelings, no one in his timeline is, but he does understand the universal language of fists.

Goten took his hand before standing up, "Yeah, let's go spar."

-/-/-/-

"You fight just like he does!" Trunks exclaimed as he caught both of Goten's fists.

The younger Saiyan was shaking, teeth grit and tail thrashing back and forth. He kept his eyes locked with Trunks' and watched for a single sign he'd move, for anything. There was none, they were locked mid-air and he couldn't escape. With an aggravated scream he tried to kick at the olders ankles, the hit was receptive and gave Goten just enough time to slide out of his grip.

His full body shuddered as he got in a stance, staggeringly rhythmic heaves up and down as he tried to breathe. His everything ached as he tried his hardest to form one Kamehameha with what little he had left in the tank. And Trunks? Trunks was fine, aside from the brief stumble here and there he was fully practiced in lethal combat. Goten knew that he was going easy, but it was pissing him off a bit more than it should've.

He dropped his hands, dispelled blue energy sparking up his arms, hair raising like static electricity. He launched himself at Trunks once more, the flat end of the blade raised to block the fist. And then the second. Fingers wrapped around razor sharp iron and gripped as hard as they could before wrenching away the blade. Shock showed with ease on the warriors face as a shoulder came into contact with his sternum, a full on ram down.

The impact on his spine and shoulders would've been enough to kill a human, he's pretty sure something is fractured. Crackling energy comes to the collar of his shirt and he stares up at Goten. The ravenette just looks wrecked, confused, absolutely ruined, he's almost crying.

"If I'm so much like him, then how come you're nothing like my Trunks?" Goten questioned, "How come he's nothing like you?"

Trunks doesn't even know what he's supposed to say.

"You fucking loved him, you loved your version of Goten," The ravenette managed to choke out.

Trunks still stays silent as the grip on his collar loosens and Goten rears back.

"How come my Trunks doesn't fucking love me?" His voice absolutely shattered as he dropped down next to the older Saiyan. He drew his knees too his chest, "What am I doing wrong?"

Trunks took a moment to try and breath, "To be fair, he's a fucking idiot."

"No he's not," Goten managed weakly.

"Yes, he is. I'm almost him, he is an oblivious fuck," Trunks said sternly, "Trust me, I am too."

"... I hate you," Goten spat bitterly.

"Yep," Trunks answered with, he forced himself onto his elbows and glanced warily for his sword. He couldn't see it, "Nice thing you did with the sword, not many can pull it off successfully."

Goten gives a hum, almost a laugh, "Thanks, my Trunks picked up swords since the last time you were here. Had too figure out how to deal with it so I wouldn't actually get hurt."

Trunks refrains from stating the obvious.

"He did too, didn't he?" Goten asked.

Trunks nodded.

"Of course he did," Goten said on a sigh.

"Look," Trunks said as he sat up, "If you want him too see you as anything other than a friend, you have too make the first move."

"But-" Goten tried too say.

"What do you think my Goten did?" Trunks asked.

"He made the first move," Goten said dejectedly.

"That he did, and then I could fucking see everything. I've seen you and Trunks, no matter how obvious you think you're being, he's oblivious, you got that? As receptive as he is to everyone else saying he looks good, he can't see you making the same comments," Trunks explained, "It's fucking shitty, and I know that I missed years because of how oblivious I was. My Goten didn't confess until what? A year before Black arrived? I was thirty, and I spent almost twenty of those years pining for him."

Goten just listens.

"I could've spent so much more time with him as more than just a friend, but I was too fucking oblivious, and now he might be dead while I'm here. Don't wait for your Trunks too notice," He took a heavy breath, "He won't notice unless you tell him directly."

"What do I even say?" Goten asked.

"My Goten said," Trunks paused, did he actually want too tell this to Goten? Would it be too personal? No, it wouldn't be, "He said I was all he had, he said he would already be dead if it weren't for me being there for him, he said that even before Gohan died he looked up to me more. I was his everything, he was my everything, I don't know what I'd do without him."

"Make it personal?" Goten asked.

Trunks nodded silently, partially afraid he'd start crying if he opened his mouth, but mostly aware he'll probably say something that could shatter this timeline if he goes any further. He reaches too the ground, and plucks at sprouts that have yet to blossom. He gives a small sigh, "I would've liked flowers, but they weren't enough left for it to be safe too pick a bouquet."

"You should bring him home some flowers, even if he is dead- which I know he isn't -it'd be nice to bury him with flowers," Goten said quietly.

"I'm gonna do that, any ideas on what he'd like?" Trunks asked, giving a gentle smile. Time travel humor. Often unnoticed by many, or maybe he has a twisted sense of humor.

"He'd like the smell of fresh cut lavender," Goten said.

[lalalaure]

I have no self control. And I simply just HAD to make this Victuuri. Because Reasons.

[credit for the prompt to @writing-prompt-s , check them, they're GREAT]

Imagine, super duper cutesy couple Victor and Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov. You know, the ones that always coo at dogs they see while having their morning run or the ones who never forget to double tip those poor overworked waiters. The kind of people to kindly smile at a grumpy looking stranger just to brighten their day, if only a little.

[It always works and how can it not when they see how cute Yuuri's dimples are? How much Victor's sea blue eyes sparkle in the sun when he smiles?]

Anyways, they have a secret.

That, per se, is not something extremely surprising. Everybody has secrets. But theirs? Oh boy, theirs is maybe the biggest, and best kept, secret one could ever come across on this Earth.

Imagine Mischievous Supervillain Victor Nikiforov.

[more after the cut]

[And yes, I know, everybody seems to be convinced that my boy 'Stammi Vicino' would be a superhero and I always ask myself why, like, have you heard the part where he skates to what literally translates to: "I'd like to cut open with a sword the throats of all who sing about love"

like,

that's murded bby boy

so anyway, enjoy catsuit clad extra supervillain Victor Nikiforov]

Icy eyes, cold smile, long hair [yes, he has long hair here, because I Say So] so light and bright they almost look white. White as the colour of his sinfully thight catsuit that literally leaves nothing to the imagination.

["It's for practicality, Yuuri. How do you expect me to climb walls and rob the pants out of those filthy riches without it? It helps me bLeNd iN tHe sHaDoWs!"

"It's literally white."]

Donned with surprisingly strong ice powers and inhuman reflexes, he is a 'rob the rich to give to the poor' kind of guy. They call him The Coreographer: lethally smart, silver tongued and so pretty he could kill a man with a look, [he never did, though, he believes in peace] a literal mastermind of crime but mortally bored with his dull, empty life. That was, until our dear Katsudon Fatale entered the game.

Imagine Insecure Superhero Yuuri Katsuki.

Ah, my boy Yuuri. Cute smiles and soft caramel eyes that always seem to hypnotize everyone around him to bow to his every command. Literally.

When our cute chubby 12 years old Katsudon firstly discovered that he could LITERALLY TALK PEOPLE INTO DOING ANYTHING HOW lS THIS HIS LIFE HELP HIM PLEASE HE IS SCARED.

And that didn't help his anxiety. At all.

This way, he learns the Weight of his Words and always saves them for when they are absolutely necessary.

How he came to be a superhero, he still doesn't know. He suspects it to be Phichit's fault.

How he came to meet The Coreographer, through a collaboration he did with Yuuri's Squad, befriend him and find beautiful Victor inside that hardened mask of cool and composed, still baffles him.

He still remembers that night, in front of the sea, where, after almost three months of collaboration [because this time it was serious, this time there were lives at stake and he had done nothing to stop it before, but now that light was in his life again Victor would be damned if he let this one happen, if he, voluntarily, let other people, other children, suffer like he did] Yuuri still let his doubts get the best of him and screamed at Victor for all he did, and didn't do, before.

He immediatly regretted it when he saw those perfect blue eyes swell up with tears and regretted it even more when Victor finally told him about his life. Stories about being beat up, when he was still an orphan on the streets, for who he was, for his Power and about how people, bad people, had tried to use him for their own gain. He told vague stories about friends of his who had died of starvation during the night, in the cold cells they were kept in all day, from where they could exit just to be experimented on because they were weapons, not people.

["But you were only ten, Victor. Do you mean to tell me that they...?"

Victor's silence was loud and clear to Yuuri, who felt his stomach churn with a venoumous kind of anger he had never felt before.

"I'll make them pay."

And he meant it.]

Soon, Yuuri hopes, Victor would also talk to him about his time on the Squad (although a different one) that likely shaped the person he was today, but that he soon left. Yuuri came to know this from his first, real, researches on The Coreographer, head burrowed in some dusty, old documents he found on the Squad's Main Head Library. He always felt a bit guilty about that.

[Later, Victor will explain to him that, while it had indeed been a good time in his life, prolific for the shaping of his mind and his morals, the Squad, like any other organization, was not keen on butting heads with wealthy, well paying criminals. He learnt that the hard way. So he left, taking up the pieces of his heart that shattered when he understood that his life in the Squad had been a big, fancy, lie and that if he really wanted to do something he had to do it by himself, on the streets.]

To this day, Yuuri is still baffled that this wonderful person, this precious fighter chose him. Who was he, anyway, to deserve his love?

But he has stopped fighting against it and learnt to accept it as it is. To always love and protect Victor who, despite of his fucked up childhood and teenage years, has taught him to love and protect himself, too, for being exactly who he is. Him, too, an anxious, sweet, precious, fighter. Even when his mind makes him weak, he will rise again and fight for what is right. [Victor's words.]

But he has to believe them, after all, those were his vows on their wedding day.

So, one day when he has to change his costume and finally, finally he can desing it himself [that meaning that Victor can picture it exactly as he wants] he doesn't even flich when it turns out to be an exact copy of his husband's catsuit, a little less thight, with more pockets and also a belt and wow, a trasparent jacket too. He is in awe of the colour, a perfect shade of blue, similar to his husband's beautiful eyes. It is perfect. And it's his.

He wears it everyday.

His eyes are a little teary though, when he finds himself in front of his husband during work. They caught The Coreographer and his team stealing some important antiques from a house. A house that, mind you, was owned by a disgusting, oily little man who had too much money, and too less respect for his own good. He knew his Vitya's project and knew that those money were going to benefit an hospital of sick children in Malaysia. But still, robbing was against the law. That meant that Yuuri had to find a way to distract his team, again, to help his idiot of an husband escape with the money, again. The nerve of that man.

But when he saw him, all clad in his new pink costume that MATCHED YUURI'S, [a distant part of his mind reminded him that he, Yuuri, had chosen the colour as well, during one of the nights where Vitya was being all weird about colours and kept asking him for what was, in his opinion, the perfect match to blue] etheral hair flowing in the wind and beautiful heart-shaped smiled aimed just at him. And, oh, he was weeping at the sight of his beautiful husband that finally, finally smiled again and...

The weight of his Squad's stares was heavy on his shoulders and, oh boy, was this going to be a long one to explain.

As usual, REBLOG is fine, REPOST only with my permission :))

[love y'alls]

[raendown]

I return from the dead with a fic that isn't even for the Naruto fandom and I don't really have an explanation for myself.

Pairing: SamBucky Word count: 2317 Fandom: MCU Summary: Visiting Steve was always strange now that the guy was old and retired. Still, of all the things Sam expected out of today, witnessing a prime example of gay panic from the co-worker that's been mysteriously avoiding him was not one of them.

Follow the link or read it under the cut!

KO-FI and commission info under the header!

Honestly, the fact that Steve's house smelled like prunes was probably one of the funniest things that Sam had ever heard in his life. More than anything he would have loved to go back in time, to the days of reading about glorified heroes in history textbooks, and tell his fifteen year old self that Captain America, Steve Rogers, retired in a house that smelled like prunes. God, his best friend just had to throw himself in to being old the way he threw himself in to everything else.

"Is there a special reason for you visiting?" Steve's voice was more tremulous these days, less steady but no less warm. Just hearing him again after the shameful amount of weeks it had been since his last visit made Sam grin.

"Nah, just thought I'd pop in and see if you'd expired yet. Your birthday's coming up. Gonna be, what, three hundred? A thousand?"

Steve narrowed his eyes but there was fondness in them so it wasn't very scary even if he could probably still tackle Sam across the room if he wanted to. At this point it would hurt him too but he could do it. "You, young man, are-"

He looked chagrined at himself when Sam cut him off with a laugh.

"You shitting me? Did you really just call me young man? See if I ever let you live that down."

His friend grumbled but accepted the teasing as his due. That was just what he got for going back in time and doubling down on being so much older than his own best friends.

Since it had indeed been a little too long after they last saw each other there was quite a bit of catching up for them to do. Over cool glasses of sweet tea and a plate of cookies the two of them spent a pleasant couple of hours shooting the shit until Sam could almost forget the years that stretched between them now. It was jarring, sometimes, looking away from those clear blue eyes to realize all over again just how many wrinkles they were set in. Sometimes he hated it. Other times he could only smile to know that at least one of their ragtag bunch had found the peace they were looking for.

Eventually all that sweet tea went right to his bladder and Sam excused himself to use the bathroom. When he returned he took in the sight of his friend all snug under one of the blankets his late wife had knit and sighed, feeling maudlin suddenly for no good reason.

"I should probably get out of your hair," he said. "Let you get in your afternoon nap or whatever. No, stay there man, I'll clean up." His smile was easy as he snagged the dishes from their grazing and hauled it all over to the kitchen.

"You sure?" Steve's voice floated after him. "Nothing else you want to get off your chest?"

"Huh?"

Sam frowned at the cups he'd just placed in the sink, running back through his mind. They'd talked about pretty much everything he could think of.

"You didn't mention Buck once, you know. I thought the two of you were friends now."

"Ah. Yeah. So did I." The corners of his mouth twisted with a little bitterness, a little confusion. After everything they'd been through and the number of times Bucky had accepted his invitations down to Delacroix he'd thought they were well past the point of calling themselves friends. Maybe he himself felt something a little more than that but he knew better than to push.

That was probably why Bucky's sudden radio silence hurt so much though.

"Trouble in paradise?" Steve called from the other room and Sam snorted.

“Shit, I don’t know. One minute we’re fine and the next he just up and disappears on me again. I may or may not have checked a bunch of obituaries for your name just in case because I have no idea what I might have done to piss him off.” Sam pursed his lips. He’s already gone over all this with Sarah a half dozen times and in all the recounts he’d done of their last couple missions he still couldn’t find any particularly bad moment between him and his best friend. Unfortunately the sweet tea he was glaring at didn’t have any answers either so he snatched the pitcher up and moved to put it in the fridge.

“Have you tried, oh I don’t know, asking him what’s wrong?”

“You think I didn’t try that?”

Steve’s hum drifted down the hallway with a distinct note of sass. “Neither one of you is very famous for your communication.”

“Excuse you, I was a counselor. A certified veteran’s counselor. Communicating with people was literally my job until your overly buff ass came running around all ‘on your left’ and ‘everyone I know is trying to kill me’.” Sam huffed as he snapped the fridge closed. “I damn well tried to talk to him but he’s not answering my texts or my calls. Short of breaking in to his apartment I don’t really know what else you want me to do.”

Without any other excuses to keep him in the kitchen Sam heaved a sigh, knowing he couldn’t dawdle any longer. He could only get to the door by going though the living room so his choices were either run away out the back, which he would never ever hear the end of, or go back in to the living room and face Steve with his stupidly wise and knowing eyes. Seriously, let a guy live to almost two hundred and suddenly he thought he knew everything. Annoying was what it was.

He was only halfway down the hall when he heard the front door open. Sam very carefully swallowed down the jibe he’d just been about to deliver and hoped that meant what he thought it meant. Maybe Steve had finally gone vague after all and bailed in the middle of their conversation; he’d rather chase a crazy old coot down the street than talk about his feelings regarding one James Buchanan Barnes. Actually if he looked at it from the right angle then chasing an old coot down the street was pretty much his job description whenever he and his partner teamed up on missions. Sam was just glad they hadn’t been called in to one since this whole silent treatment had started because he wasn’t sure he wanted to know whether or not Bucky would still have his back even when the guy was mad at him over reasons unknown.

Two more steps and Sam froze in his tracks, eyes wide with disbelief. Bucky’s shoulders were hunched in to himself with something bridling on panic as he fit himself through the front door and kicked it shut behind himself, eyes wild and fixed on the ground between his feet, nervous energy pouring out of him in a way Sam hadn’t seen before. From his spot on the couch Steve watched his childhood friend let himself in with serene indifference.

“Didn’t know you’d be over today,” was all he said. Then he smiled benignly when Bucky let out a soft whine.

“Help,” Bucky pleaded. “I’m dying.”

Then Bucky slid down to his knees and face planted in the carpet, arms and legs splaying out wide. Steve hummed.

“You know,” he murmured, “no one ever believes me when I tell them you’re this dramatic.”

“Steve! I’m having a crisis!”

“I tell everyone you’re a drama queen and they just shake their heads at me.”

“This is important! You have to kill me, Steve. Or I’m gonna just- just-!” Bucky’s voice petered out with another extended whine muffled by the carpet that probably didn’t smell any better from that close up.

Crossing one leg over the other, Steve folded his hands in his lap with a great lack of concern for the ridiculous scene playing out before him. Sam remained frozen in the hallway, wondering if Bucky even realized he was there, but he got an answer to that almost faster than if he’d bothered to ask himself.

“What’s wrong, pal?”

“It’s Sam!” Bucky cried. His arms lifted up like wings to flail briefly before falling back to the floor in a boneless sprawl. “Please just crush my head or something. I can’t take this.”

“Ah, yes, I hear you’ve been avoiding him.”

Whatever kind of noise Bucky was trying to make, it came out sounding more like he was choking on carpet fumes. “Of course I’m avoiding him!”

“Now why on earth would you do that?”

“I want to stick my tongue in the gap between his teeth!” Bucky said, entirely unaware of the sparks that were suddenly running up Sam’s spine in the hallway. “Help me, Steve! I want to press my thumb in the little dimple on his back. He has a dimple on his back! Why!? Steve I want to hold his hand! What the fuck!”

Steve had both eyebrows up near his hairline and the most shit eating grin any human on the planet had ever worn when he turned his head to look at Sam. Frozen with his eyes on the figure currently panicking in to the floor, Sam paid him no attention. He was busy processing. After getting to know Bucky, inviting him to stay in Delacroix time and time again, the dramatics weren’t actually that much of a surprise. Obviously as they grew closer he’d gotten a number of glimpses in to who the real Bucky Barnes was under the grouchy veneer he presented to the world. Watching him starfish on the ground and whine wasn’t too far from what he’d already seen.

Hearing him say anything about his tongue in conjecture with Sam’s teeth, on the other hand, now that was a bit unexpected. More than a bit.

“I think Shuri called this ‘gay panic’ and honestly I’m in agreement,” Bucky went on mindlessly. “If I have to watch him go through one more workout and not grab his ass with both hands then I’m just going to rip both of them off. Who needs hands if I cannot grab Sam Wilson’s ass with them!?”

“You may be slightly exaggerating the situation, I feel,” Steve told him.

Bucky snorted. “I am not. I absolutely am not. Why is he so hot? And nice? I hate that. Except I don’t. Steve why is he so nice to me?”

“That might be a question you should ask him.”

“Oh yeah, sure, I’ve got lots of questions for him! Hey Sam, why are you nice to me? Hey Sam, can I lick your cheekbones? Hey Sam, how big is your cock?”

“Well. Not that I’ve ever thought to ask that myself but, alright. Go on, Sam, how big is it?”

Sam had just enough time to cross his arms over his chest and assume a very casual pose leaning against the wall beside him before Bucky’s head shot up off the carpet. If possible, his eyes were even more wild than before when he fixed them on Steve, full of the deepest betrayal. Then he very slowly dragged them sideways to see the man he’d just been panicking over. Sam gave him a very friendly smile.

“Depends on your frame of reference,” he admitted. “I’d say sizeable.”

“Nnnggggg.”

“Hi Buck.”

“Ggnnn.”

While Steve very poorly disguised a laugh behind one hand, Sam pushed off from the wall and sauntered further in to the living room. Bucky slammed his face back in to the carpet.

“Leave me here to die,” he pleaded in a very small voice. Sam tutted, reaching for the front door, only looking over his shoulder once he was halfway through it.

“Come on, Buck, can’t lick my cheekbones if you don’t get off the floor. It was a nice visit, Steve, but don’t be looking out your front curtains for a bit. I think I’ll let Bucky decide for himself what sizeable means.” He thanked god for the mercy of Steve’s house being situated out here so far from any other homes, surrounded on all sides by enough trees that you couldn’t see it from the road. A gorgeous little island of privacy. Sam was fairly sure he wasn’t the only one grateful for this, judging by the mad scrambling noises he could hear going on behind him.

Bucky’s voice garbled out something that sounded like ‘fuck you, thank you, bye forever’ and then Sam was listening to the slam of the front door barely a second before strong hands were wrapping themselves around his hips. He laughed even as Bucky’s face came in to view.

“Greatest assassin of several generations and you didn't notice my truck in the driveway?” he said.

“I may have been a bit distracted.” That was definitely a pout on Bucky’s lips.

“By being so hot for all of this”-Sam gestured vaguely down his own body-“that you literally ceased being able to function.”

He didn’t expect such easy agreement as the sheepish nod that followed his words. “Pretty much.”

Sam blinked slowly once, twice. For one long moment he considered teasing the man. Then he decided that their time was much better spent doing things they’d both obviously been wanting to do while assuming they would never get the chance.

“I was promised a tongue in my teeth. Are you gonna get to that any time soon or am I gonna sit here and pine some more for something I apparently could have had all along?”

Bucky keened piteously. Then he surged forward to follow through on his own promises and Sam really hoped that Steve had taken his words to heart about the curtains. The man was way too old to be seeing all the ways they were about to defile the side of this truck.

[zinzinina]

Sam!!! I've a question that I direly need to ask you because A Mutual Arrangement's ending just about killed what's left of my icy cold heart. Did he reunite with little one? I mean I know she had a whole inner monologue about how it'll be okay if he never came back for her or whatever BUT!!! MY!!! HEART!!! NEEDS THEM TOGETHER!!! *wails* 😭😭😭 'A man staggering half-dead from a hole in the sand, a woman alone on her knees. Was this a flashback of him coming out of the sarlacc pit? And of her praying for him when she heard the news about his supposed death? '...before it is rejoined by its partner, and the desert holds its breath. He waits.' 🤯🤯🤯 GIRL does this mean he's waiting for her to find him, thinking that she's probably heard about him and the sarlacc pit/him surviving it? Or has she already found him and big boi is just waiting for her to wake up, lying there on the bed? WHAT IS GOING ON PLS MY HEART NEEDS THEM TO BE TOGETHER 😭 I uhh apologize for this explosive and rant-y (not so) little ask. Fucking great series. Brilliant writing. The flow is insane, super page-turning (I read the whole thing in ONE DAY), and their chemistry actually felt real. A lot of boba fics make me feel like it's just a linguistic manifestation of the writer's wet dream and thus boba often feels like a sex puppet paired with reader/an OFC. But not with this series. They had a REAL thing and the way you made them get to know each other felt so natural, I felt like I was reading about real people building a real relationship. And don't get me started on the poetic parts! I'll end up writing a damn novel just gushing about them. Hot damn. This might be my favourite boba X reader series I've found thus far. Like, by FAR. Super super super impressed.

One more thing. Would it be alright with you if I downloaded this whole thing so I could read it on my commute where internet's shitty?

Hi okay oh my god? I definitely didn't get like stupidly emotional about this; nope definitely not 😭💖 (this got long so I put it under a cut x)

First of all holy shIT this is so unbelievably kind of you; thank you so much, really, from the absolute bottom of my guts. You genuinely knocked the wind out of me. It was really important for me to make him feel like a complete person; like with all the squishy messy human parts included. I used to get a lot of comments that he was "soft Boba" (I always kinda disagreed; like "soft Boba" is somehow a separate person, when he was just a hard and sad and violent man who'd been through a fucking ton of trauma in his life but still had this immense capacity for humanity—like how easily he helped Fennec & Din) so the fact that you thought his characterisation was sufficiently meaningful means the whole world to me. I can't tell you how grateful I am that you took the time to send this and let me know you enjoyed it!

I ended up leaving it fairly open because I'd like you to get the ending you want! I know what I think happened (and I've actually got a little post-sarlacc Boba project in the works) but if you think they're together again, then that's absolutely what happens.

(I don't think she would know what she'd find when she came back to the palace; the years that had passed would have rendered the galaxy almost completely unrecognisable, and both of them inside of it; maybe they'd just travelled too far in different directions? Maybe he'd just had to resort to such ever-increasing brutality that not much of him was left for her? And though she knows why he did what he did, she always had that hard, ugly little seed somewhere deep down that said he was relieved to be rid of her, and maybe that's why it took so long for her to come to him again—that, and the Rebellion, and the penance she had to pay, and all of the rest of it. So when she does come back to him, sick with nerves, with no good explanation for being there if he'd asked, he freezes. Because of course, every single thing he'd done had been coloured with traces of her. Every single time he took on a job he knew she would have hated, even when he burned inside the sarlacc, even when he found a strange new peace living among the Tusken people, relearning his own humanity like a newborn. He's not the same man she walked away from, and she's only grown more beautiful in the years they've been apart. They'd stare at each other like strangers, both waiting for that old, final thread to snap, confirming that it's just been too long and too much and too hard for them, and that she shouldn't have really come at all. Until she says his name in that small voice, and he realises he's wrong; that no time has passed because she never left him at all, not really.)

The man staggering from the hole in the sand was definitely Boba, and the woman was Fennec. I'd always wondered why he'd go to so much trouble to save a stranger dying alone in the desert; and from the insane way he saved her with the hydraulics, it defs wouldn't have been easy. Like, what did she remind him of, lying there waiting to die? What was he thinking about when he found her? I think if he'd ever had a situation where he just could not help someone with his own hands, he'd be determined not to fail a second time (or I guess a third time, if we count Jango).

And OF COURSE YOU CAN, oh my god! I'd be honoured if you wanted my writing to accompany you on your commute lkdlsskl thank you again so much for this, truly. I hope you have an amazing day x

[pepperedstarz]

ZINNIA USES ALL PRONOUNS BUT NORMALLY SHE/HE TRUE GENDER !!!!! OKAY OKAY I'm getting tired so I'm gonna explain as best as I can!! Zin was a child of a professional ballet dancer and ?? I still don't know her dad's job bare with me. Zin hated school, dropped it, started a job performing at her mom's theater, okay dropped that because ballet was too dainty, let's go perform anywhere that hires us, Zin starts a circus.

I'm gonna gather your asks all in one nice big post so, it'll be easier for me to give you a good response and a more pleasant read through for anyone else interested too!

Context for anyone that needs it Zinnia is Circus AU's Henry!

"Circus travels through towns and shit whatever !!!! Important person, William. William and Zinnia meet at a bar where zin is like "hey lol, me and you are getting well together, wanna be my right hand man." William accepts and they work on the circus together. By this point it isn't small, it's well known and they have massive crowds"

"Zinnia performs a lot on aerial silks (HIGHLY RECOMMEND TO CHECK OUT SOME PEOPLE WHO PERFORM WITH SILKS ITS COOL) and so once after a show, zinnia is practicing a trick that's pretty dangerous. It's looping a silk around your neck and ankles, you do a split and pull your head bACK it's terrifying to watch!!! Zin fucks it up and DIES but her soul like floats and repossesses Zin"

"And so Zin gets down, trying to figure out why she died and then didn't. This is why her skin changed color BTW!!! But so she kinda like is just "hm I need t figure out how that works" BOOM soul research BOOM "will help me out with soul thing" BOOM science fair project on a human BOOM human is fucked up"

"Zinnia performs fucked experiments after she died, William is still alive after these, she can't figure out souls. A bit passes, William is like "can you try and get me to work the with the tech?" THE TECH HE'S TALKING ABT IS NAMED JACK AND EVERYONE CALLS HIM ORANGE BECAUSE OF HIS LIKE NEON orange hair lol!!! Zin is like "lol? Just talk to him? Why are you asking me?" AND WILL EXPLAIN HE LIKES JACK AND ZIN (WHOS REALLY AFRAID OF LOSING HER BEST FRIEND IS LIKE. HM. MURDERS AN OPTION) so like a smart person, she kills Jack's sibling (Dee), and his brother (Peter), and Doesn't get caught since she can just. Murder people bc she's cool (really they're under the floor of the circus but the body's decompose enough to where even if they were found, they couldn't be identified) ((also she has their souls in jars))

Jack is grieving because his family just went missing, William keeps his distance, and the circus is cleared from the police. Yipee. So, the circus travels again, in the all good, and Will CONFRONTS Zinnia when they're back in a small rented home kitchen because he's like 120% sure she did it and she's just like "wow that's rude, I'm cooking :) I'd never do that" it gets into a fight, Zinnia grabs the knife she had AND BOOM another death. Get the soul, figure out what to do with the body. She was so scared of getting found out when the adrenaline wore off and she saw will she just fucking lost it dude. Perks of being assistants with no family that care? No one went looking for Will! So that made it easier.

But still at this point Zin just pushes down the guilt and ignores everything after getting rid of evidence (she did take one thing of Dave's and that was a photo of them when they both first started) BUT YEA the circus goes successful even after the loss, Zin gets well known, has money, and then disappears off of the grid and continues to research souls (using her own #girlboyboss)"

I love this idea! A lot actually! There's so much detail in this, and it's really fun to see how you've fleshed out Zinnia herself. Her backstory is pretty interesting and fairly regular, which I appreciate, honestly. I like how the circus wasn't made out of spite or bloodlust but, was just his next movement along for his skill set, and then he turned into a sick bastard lol.

Performers on aerial silks! Holy shit, they are so majestic, but some of the moves they make are terrifying to look at. I've watched some stuff about these before but, looked into a couple more after your asks and yep! Both as gorgeous and terrifying as I remember x'3 I think the way Zinnia died is unique and makes a lot of sense! I like how also his death was the marker for her downfall into madness, like after that point her actions got worse and worse until she's just like the Henry we know and hate in the canon DSAF universe.

I think Jack being an obstacle for Zinnia is a pretty interesting take too, and picking out the support Jack has instead of Jack himself to alienate William is a horrible but powerful manipulation tactic really. Did Dave have a performance in the circus? If he did, what did he do? Also, what happened to Jack, since I'm assuming he's still alive?

I was gonna draw something for this AU today but, it kinda too late for me to start now 'n' I got a busy day tomorrow but, I didn't want to make you wait too long for a reply to your ideas! Thank you so much for sharing this with me, this was a pleasure to read through, and I look forward to see/hearing more about this AU :eyes:

Sorry it took me a bit to reply! I wanted to give you a nicely structured answer & have this understandable for people stumbling upon this post and me at a later date when I end up using this to refresh my memory x"3

[fyeah-namjin]

Hi!!! I'd like to ask you if you have any Namjin fic recommendations for us? Thank you very much for sharing the love for Jin and Joonie! 💜

Hi~ I love your blog! I was wondering what your favorite namjin fics are? Have a fantastic 2018! - anonymous

hello anons~ I hope you both have a great year ahead and thank you so much for loving the namjin blog ^^!~ i had to think for some time in how to answer this and these are all the ones i can rec that i really love. Also, personally I’m a huge bottom!Jin fan (in all Jin ships) so all these fics are bottom!Jin.. I’ll add “mature” in the ones where there’s smut included but some of these don’t necessarily have that. I hope these are fine so far ^^

the shaman and the exorcist (angst. ongoing): Seokjin doesn’t believe in ghosts. Namjoon does believe in ghosts.

The Most Beautiful Moments in Life and What’s Loved Most in this World (college au. ongoing): Kim Namjoon is stuck with the obnoxiously good-looking, obnoxiously wealthy, and obnoxiously sociable Kim Seokjin for a music project worth 40% of their grade.

They Say it Takes a Village (But I Think I Just Need You) (ongoing. abo verse): It has been one thousand three hundred and eighty-four days since he’s last seen Seokjin. Not that he’s counting or anything.OR The day Namjoon meets two little boys that he didn’t know existed and everything that happens after.

let’s not hurt anymore (so much angst u cry, au, homophobia): They don’t talk about it, and usually no one thinks to ask. But if you did, Namjoon and Seokjin would tell. 

Fate Led Me To You (Now Let Me Love You) (abo verse): Seokjin did not believe he’d ever have a happy ending. How many happy endings did you ever hear an unmated Omega with a child have?

beta tau sigma (college au): A collection of events occurring within (and without) the walls of the Beta Tau Sigma fraternity house.

Can I Get Your Dewey Decimal Number? (librarian au. humor): Seokjin loved working at the library, but some patrons got on his nerves. Take, for example, the grown man who sat in the corner every day and leeched off of the Wi-Fi.

all you need is love (and pink) (au, humor): Most people only have one miniature angel or devil riding on their shoulders to serve as the physical manifestation of their conscience. Poor Namjoon has five, and they’re all telling him the same thing: “fucking talk to him god dammit what the fuck is wrong with you”

listen to my heart (can you hear it sing) (abo verse, mature, angst): Seokjin wasn’t his, but he was still as every bit of ‘his’ as the rest of the wolves in the pack, and Namjoon was going to have to learn to live with that.In which Namjoon constantly, to everyone’s disappointment, fucks up.

Light of my life, fire in my loins (be a good baby, do what I want) (mature, mafia au): Namjoon exudes power in everything that he does.

I Dream in the Shape of Your Mouth (college au): Seokjin spends a lot of time in the library. Now, Namjoon does too.

hapless (mature, abo verse): Seokjin’s heat comes a little early but Namjoon is still there to help him through it.

an interruption (mature): Namjoon needs to focus, but Jin has other ideas. Also how difficult is it to be emotionless while discreetly getting head under a desk? Kim Namjoon is about to find out.

trouble in paradise (angst): Bangtan have to do a cute concept, which isn’t nearly as much fun as it sounds.

charmed (fantasy au, angst?, fluff): "So you’re not going to eat me?“ Seokjin asks, just to confirm.“Why would I eat you?”“Because you’re a dragon,” Seokjin says slowly, because it should be obvious, despite Namjoon not looking very dragon-y at all. Namjoon looks unimpressed. “I may be a dragon, but I’m not an animal.”

three’s company (mature, +yoongi): Namjoon might be able to physically dominate Seokjin, but he can never seem to get Jin as beautifully pliant and submissive as Yoongi can.

get on your knees (say pretty please) (mature, au): Seokjin hates Namjoon, and then of course, the two of them get stranded on a cabin in the middle of nowhere.

claimed (mature /no smut/, abo verse, angst): Kim Namjoon is a dud. He accidentally falls in love anyway and time goes by.

a sugar coated pill and a pick me up (mature, fluff, humor, they switch but my petty self skipped the part where jin tops LOL): Namjoon refused to acknowledge him. What the fuck was this guy’s deal? Was he really that bitter that his six-year-old just lost a soccer game for six-year-olds?

heart of war (omega verse, ongoing?): For the protection of his people, Prince Seokjin has to marry his fiancé’s killer: the alpha king of the most ruthless and feared kingdom in all the lands with a reputation of being a cold blooded monster on the battlefield.

superb (humor, au): Namjoon is the God of Destruction, as well as the caretaker of three kids, and his kitchen nearly burns down thanks to his attempts to cook an egg but thank god, Kim Seokjin - his saviour, his superhero, his God of Kitchen - lives right upstairs. 

love doesn’t cost a thing (au): In an act of rare stupidity, rich executive’s son Kim Namjoon decides to live like the middle class for a week. The only good part is the manager of McDonald’s.

When Push Comes to Shove, Bribe Him with Ass (mature, abo verse): Namjoon was abstaining sex from Jin just because he’s afraid of hurting Jin or the babies. Can you guess how Jin responds to the this?

trust (mature, +jungkook): “Do you trust me?” Namjoon pulled back and stared down at the older man, gaze serious.

awake (angst): All Seokjin needs to do is write his solo song for the album. All Namjoon needs to do is be a leader to his hyung. And all they both need is something in the future, something beyond the words, something unspoken, hanging in the future.

deal with a demon (mature, incubus au): A Friday night hangout in a bar. A rumor about a sex demon killing people. And a bunch of guys who doesn’t believe in it. Too bad that the incubus is already onto one of them…

you are beautiful in every way (mature, fluff): When Jin gets hurt, and starts to question his value, Namjoon is there to show him just how valuable he is.

over the city with blinking lights, i’ll take you. (mature): Namjoon is rich and he likes to spoil Seokjin with love, sex and ice cream. And they’re both madly in love.

you’re beautiful (au, fluff): Jin was tired of hearing the same thing from men.

foiled again (mature, humor): Five times Namjin get interrupted while having sex, and one time they don’t.

if life was a love song (humor): Soulmate AU where whatever song you have in your head, so does your soulmate; plus you and your soulmate have the same favourite song, and when you meet it plays out loud.

bullets (spy au): Seokjin gets captured in a mission, and there’s no way Namjoon’s going to let him just become a statistic.

getaway (mature, domestic au): “Jesus, Namjoon, please stop,“

bet you won’t (mature, humor, college au): Taehyung dares Seokjin to take a selfie while having sex with Namjoon, and the group chat ends up getting more than it bargained for.

in case of emergency (mafia au, humor): In Case of Emergency (ICE): a program that enables paramedics, police officers, and hospital personnel to contact the next of kin of the owner of a cell phone in order to obtain important medical or support information.

grapefruit (mature): "Grapefruit is actually the best way to describe my situation. Bitter and sweet. But mostly enjoyable.” Fox!Jin verse.

look here (don’t run away) (mature, abo verse): hoseok was late and seokjin was desperate. an alpha came in and really, he didn’t have much choice.

nothing is worthless (mature /no smut/, angst): The moment a person is born into the world they are given a superpower. 

till death do us ‘part (angst, major character death): Namjoon and Seokjin are trapped on the bottom of a sunk ferry.

pack mentality (mature, abo verse): Namjoon is possessive.

Are you an EQUATION? Cuz I would love to SOLVE YOU (mature, humor, college au): “None of my friends are good at math and I need a tutor but you are very intimidating”