#garnished

[sweetbunbakeshop]

Baking off a couple batches of Strawberry Mint Meringues today 🙌🏻🤍

(two batches to be sent out 🏷 and one batch because Waffles can smell her favourite treat being made and takes her job in quality assurance very seriously 🐇)

[wickedzeevyln]

Casing

This heart,defective, broken, unrequited,with fissures gushing out the soul that lives there,hack wounds from the sharp blades of her absence,it ticks more than it beats,like a bomb waiting to detonate,its sole purpose is to hold sorrow,like a cup opening its mouth wide as a bottle of maladies poured down to fill it up,to the brim, if possible, this heart lodged inside,encased in flesh, bones,…

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

while we wait.

may i offer you all a pubby?? lil bby barns?

[sarahreadstoomanycomics]

Okay this panel is really fun.

[penvisions]

Pairing: Joel Miller x F! Reader

Word Count: 781

Warnings: filth, sloppy blow job, praise, pet names, joel is just a beautiful man okay, adult content, unprotected p in v, smut, oral (m receiving), pussy pronouns, soft dom! joel, eager sub! reader, reader has no description but has hair that can be pulled back easily

A/N: inspired by true events, excuse the v early morning queue for this utter depraved filth i jotted down before bed

navigation || drabble masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi

“You’re so god damn pretty.” You can only hum around the hard length of him, mouth stuffed full. One hand around the base of him, the other holding you steady as it spread over his massive thigh, soft hair there tickling your palm in the best way.

He moaned out at the feeling, his hands fighting where they fisted your hair and pulled it away from your face to see you better. It had fallen from where it was tucked behind your ears when you swallowed him down, the head of his cock sliding right into the back of your throat.

Rough palms and fingers caressed your face, hands reaching down past your bare shoulders to tweak a hardened nipple had you relaxing your jaw to feel all of him, drool pooling at the base of him from your lips, trailing down to the soft skin of his balls. But when he moved to mirror the action with the other one, he pinched hard.

Gasping hard the shining, slick weight of his cock slipped from your mouth.

A throaty chuckle sounded in the air, glazed eyes taking in the beautiful sight of him sprawled out before you. His dark eyes watching the strand of spit that connected your bottom to the head of his ruddy cock. God, it was so pretty.

"Such a good girl for me, aren't ya darlin'?"

"Mhm," Is all you can manage as you pant, looking up from between his thighs. He thumbed at your bottom lip, breaking the line of bubbling spit that kept you connected to him. Sucking the digit into your mouth, you hummed again. Words not working, mind not thinking. All you knew at that moment was Joel, Joel, Joel.

You licked, from the messy base of him all the way to his leaking slit with a flattened tongue, enjoying how the broken grunt from his plush lips lit you up. You were bare, your own arousal pooling in your core and shining on your thighs, clit jolting at every move, every sound, every sensation of moving together with him in this intimate way. Heat enveloping you as it burned underneath your skin.

You gripped him tight, pumping him a few times before you opened your lips wide and swallowed him down once again. Bobbing your head, you felt him hit the back of your throat with every nuzzle of your face into the soft bush of hairs that his cock was nestled in.

“Fuck, you gotta let me- she must be cryin’ for me. I gotta feel her squeezin’ me,” With a dirty pop, you released him from your mouth, kissing your lips to the velvet soft hardness you had come to crave. He sighed at the softness of you, the way you seemed so completely lost to anything but him at the moment. And he reveled in it.

"Best I ever had, so pretty and such a good listener." His arms hooked underneath your shoulders, helping to pull you up and into his lap.

Hands gripping tight to your hips, his fingers sunk into the give of your ass, making him moan at how well you filled them. With a whine, you rutted against him. Your outer lips, slick with your own arousal and the spit from your mouth allowing him to glide through them. The head of his cock caught on the hood of you, clit taking all the pressure and you cried out.

“She can take it, we know she can, don’t we?” Joel ground his hips up, rocking himself against you hard enough to send white sparks on the backside of your eyelids.

“I want you to look at me while she takes it, be a good girl for me.” Your eyes flew open to heed his command, feeling him reach down to take ahold of himself. He tapped himself against your clit, the wet smack of it jolting you into an arch. But you didn’t dare break your eyes away from his. “Such a pretty girl, so good for me.”

Head prodding, you could feel him breech, stretching you with just that little part. He slowly filled you up, hand still on your hip guiding you to lower onto him. Your lashes fluttered when your hips settled flush over his own. His teeth bared as he felt you clench, a twitch deep in you in response and then suddenly he was pulling you to him, cradling your upper body as he got his feet underneath him and began to pound up into you.

Crying out, your hands locked around his neck. Bare chests pressed together as the wet smack of skin on skin filled the bedroom.

taglist: @tuquoquebrute @sawymredfox @littlemisspascal @morallyinept @undercoverpena @joelsgreys

[butteryplanet]

kitchen ghosts

[humhowellujah]

i'm drunk off two lavender martinis what the fuck do you MEAN dan and phil went on a step by step recreation of their japan trip as a part of a HONEYMOON episode for their sims. be so fr rn be so serious please. dan howell you have 4 minutes to respond . phil, keep it up babygirl. lavender martini recipe in the tags

[disease]

SWEPT AND GARNISHED: XLIX; XLV; XLVI DAVID TIBET // circa 2020 [acrylic & india ink on canvas (3) | 20 x 20 cm.]

[utilitycaster]

Matt: do you understand what this means

Sam: let me demonstrate my understanding by making you cry too hard to DM

[hazel2468]

Okay no legitimate suggestion for people who like. Host parties.

If someone at the party is not drinking, for any reason, and they get like. A soda or something?

Garnish it.

It’s fun. It like, upgrades it and eliminates at least some of the “everyone is drinking pretty drinks and I have a lame soda” thing. It looks nice. And especially like, a citrus peel twist- you can express those oils and it give the drink a smell that I associate with cocktails without the alcohol.

My friends did this in college with like. They would make ALL the drinks colorful and fun to eliminate any judgement or pressure around drinking alcohol, because everyone had something that looked cool. The regular punch was just as chock full of candy and fruit as the alcoholic punch.

[mail-me-a-snail]

“Don’t want the Board to watch,” Darling explains, not without an edge of embarrassment. “I mean, can you imagine if this --” he gestures to the small space between them-- “showed up on their minutes? I’d be-- mortified , is the word.” Trench stares at him. It takes him a moment to find the coherency to respond. “I’m sure,” he manages to say, “they wouldn’t mind extracurricular activities.”

a scene from my trench/darling fic, "minutes of the meeting" <3 i may not have finished the game yet but i am utterly enamored with darling and trench's dynamic of the bureau's golden child and his handler υ´• ﻌ •`υ

[huariqueje]

Glass with Lemon - Marlies Heere

Dutch , b. 1967 -

Oil on canvas , 45.5 x 35.1 cm.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

he's squeaky toy. to me.

[gothiclit]

they should invent a type of waking up that does not feel like having your wandering soul slammed back into your body by a necromancer

[penvisions]

zest {a sequel series masterlist}

Pairing: Chef! Joel Miller x Professor! Reader (formally known as Bartender! Reader)

Summary: With the passage of time, Joel Miller had shifted from ‘chef’ to something more. Your once hidden relationship a secret now out in the open. After a break in which you finished your degree and managed to land your dream job of teaching at the collegiate level, Joel had thrown himself into his work at the restaurant where you met. Back together and in far better mental places in your life, you both are caught off guard by the sudden news of being prospective parents.

But things are always gonna get hectic because, of course, how else would things go with the two of you involved? It’d been that way for nearly two years after all.

Word Count: undetermined

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical language, c'mon reader and joel have potty mouths, protective joel, reader is canonically midsize, pregnant reader, surprise pregnancy, reader goes through nicotine withdrawal, smoking, cigarettes, nicotine use, cannabis, marijuana, cbd, edibles, pregnancy complications (not serious or life-threatening), lots of feelings, lots of emotions, complicated family dynamic, reader has family issues, reader has religious guilt, restaurant lingo, triggers associated with the food industry, reader canonically has an eating disorder, therapy. much more to be added to each individual chapter!

A/N: THEY'RE BACK, BABY! our rough 'n tumble couple are back and better than ever. cannot wait to see where they take me on this sequel series journey that should be about the same amount of chapters as the original {garnish} one. i've been sitting on this idea since the lovely @tuquoquebrute came to be with a one-shot request for these two and they took over in the best way ♡♡

main series:

garnish {masterlist}

precursor to {zest}:

i wish i never met you

{zest} chapters:

chapter one || chapter two || chapter three || chapter four || chapter five || chapter six chapter seven || chapter eight || chapter nine || chapter ten

navigation || masterlist

taglist: @hiddenbabynyc @jessthebaker @clevergirl74 @anavatazes @samiamproductions @76bookworm76 @tuquoquebrute @sarap-77 @koshkaj-blog @corazondebeskar-reads @ozarkthedog @littlemisspascal @endlessthxxghts @its-nebuleuse @janaispunk @sawymredfox

[c-kiddo]

(about cr2 rewatch again) i litrally love tmn so much i will frow up. theyre so good. the cast are so good at embodying them. they dont sound like people trying to be characters sm of the time they sound like just (weirdo) real people it makes me crazy !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!