#gay fishes common what more do u need

[soonielo]

Gay fish, for a cool movie

[aqueeracademic]

endeavour being queer (and other commentary):

season 1, episode 1, “Girl”:

- pushes through the whole crowd to stand next to Jakes

- interaction with Debryn (Debryn telling him he can look because there’s no blood, suggesting he and Morse are close enough that he trusts Debryn to tell him something like that)

- checking out Derek like no ones business

- who the FUCK spits on their iron, Morse??? get a glass of water or something.

- Debryn subtly gives Morse somewhere other than the body to look

- going around the side of the building with Jakes 🤨🤨

- Jakes glaring Bright’s head off when Bright starts bullying Morse

- Jakes supporting Morse’s deductions 🤨

- imagine if season 1 Bright stfu.

- look, i know they’re speaking quietly so that girl can sleep, but goddam if Morse wasnt flirting

- i’ve never seen a man more uncomfortable than morse watching that girl beg for her child back

- “an immoral rendezvous?” bright stfu he can be married and be gay u dumbass

- jakes’ face when he said that shit 😧

- i’m so embarrassed for morse just putting this random ass guy in jail i literally wanna scream

- jakes coming to find him in the cells

- “made an arrest then?” 🤨🤨

- this gay ass priest is a liarrrr!!!!!!!!!!

- “something we have in common, i imagine?” 😏😏

- “you seem an unlikely policeman, if i may.” 😏

- why unlikely 🤨 wdym by that 🤨

- “something for you to think about on the way back to town.” 😏

- BRO WATCHED MORSE LEAVE W HIS GLASSES IN HIS MOUTH WTF WAS THAT

- these gay ass hoes

- “doctor debryn called. wants you to drop by the mortuary.”

- 🤨

- “do you feel alright? you’re not going to...”

- “no.”

- “i can get you a glass of water, if you’d like.”

- they know each other so well i’m—-

- “what did they tell you about me?”

- that ur batshit crazy and they were RIGHT

- “she’s beautiful, incredibly so.”

- doesn’t mean she’s not crazy

- “most of the lads have you off as a queer fish.” 🤨

- “have they?”

- WHY R U SURPRISED???

- have you met urself?

- i wanna smoke a pipe like thursday

- bro morse fr j ghosted strange like that how foul

- NO THE GAY PRIEST

- thursday is INSANE for j sneaking up on morse in a gay hookup spot like that

- his FINGERS ARE GONE

- “that’s frank’s scrawl. i’d know it a mile off.” 🤨🤨 no need for the little smile as u say it doc

- NOOOO THE GAY PRIEST

- i love jakes but he’s such a snitch on morse 😔 no need for all this hatred 😔

- morse there is no need to cry over being returned to general duties get it together

- thursday >>>

- morse’s interactions w women give me such an ick and not even in a “i think he’s gay” way but in a “he should never be allowed to speak to a woman” kinda way

- yes, i read the books so i know i’m right.

- oxford is so pretty i’m literally sick over it.

- no need to stare at jakes when he’s leaning over his desk, morse

- their bickering is literally-

- morse what is ur actual problem

- the first time i saw this i was obviously on morse’s side but watching it now i’m literally like... bro ur a MESS

- GO STRANGE!!!!

- jakes there is no need to lean over morse’s desk to get in his face like that JUST to make fun of him

- insanity.

- gay priest = confirmed by that little blond asshole

- strange is such a real one i wanna marry him

- “i’ve been an idiot.” OBVIOUSLY.

- i would go to church if i could go to church here

- “why wouldn’t he just come forward?” Bright you need to believe gay people are real NOW bc ur nick is CRAWLING w them

- the random old man covering for his son being the murderer is INSANE of the writers

- morse has no business being so smart

- also i’m allowed to hate him bc i AM him

- it’s insane to rly look at what was going on bc why was derek having monkford deliver the drugs in a gay hookup spot, why would his dad murder someone in a gay hookup spot, why would that old man murder a gay man for walking into a gay hookup spot

- he’s GAY????? he’s NOT going to come forward u psycho.

- justice for the gay people in this show i demand it

- morse and strange = besties for lyfe

- the THEME SONG DHMU

[plant-flwrs]

hi idk if you write for hermione (if not you could do luna?) but could you do one where the reader has a crush on hermione and is talking to harry about it and hermione overhears? then she askes the reader to go to hogsmeade with her?

library confessions // hermione granger

masterlist!

a/n: drarry. lesbian pinning. blushing. longing glances. yes this is gay. i love u anon.

summary: Hermione overhears you confessing your feelings about her.

(1.5k)

-----------

Harry Potter was the chosen one, the boy who lived, the star of the wizarding world, but the boy was painfully daft in most situations.

Especially in matters of romance.

“Harry,” you said slowly, looking into the boys eyes hoping he would see your desperation and urgency, “I need you to listen to what I’m saying.”

Harry huffed in annoyance, rolling his eyes at his friend, “I am listening, Y/n!”

“Obviously you are not,” you said slowly, leaning back in your chair but still looking at the boy, “because if you were, you would understand what I’m trying to tell you right now.”

You had found the situation entertaining some 20 minutes ago, but as time went on and Harry still didn’t understand the simple thing you were telling him, your entertainment ceased.

“You’re speaking in riddles! How am I supposed to know if Hermione listens to ‘lesbian’-” he quoted you there, “-music! I wish you’d just talk to her about this, I mean, its just music!.”

You groaned and felt an embarrassed blush come over your cheeks at the mere mention of Hermione. 

“Harry! Keep your voice down,” you scolded him, looking frantically around the common room that Hermione could be in at any second.

The two of you sat in annoyed silence, making sure no one heard you, before continuing. 

“I was an awesome wing-woman for you with Draco! You owe me!”

“Wing-woman, what are you-” Harry’s sentence ended as soon as the realization hit him. His eyes lit up from behind his glasses. His mouth opened and closed like a fish.

Harry, after 20 minutes of hinting at it, just realized you were confessing a crush on your best friend, Hermione Granger.

He sat back in his seat, unable to form a coherent sentence as his mind attempted to absorb the information. You rolled your eyes with a certain kind of relief, waiting for Harry to speak again.

“You mean-” he finally started again after a few minutes, leaning forwards again.

“Yes,” you finished for him, not wanting him to say it out loud.

“Our Hermi-” 

“Yes,” you finished again, wanting Harry’s epiphany to end sooner so you could talk about the pressing topic.

“Why are you asking me about this?” he asked, an entertained smile on his lips.

“Like I said, you owe me.”.

You and Hermione were in the library studying for an upcoming Charms test. You two had an unspoken agreement for a long time that entailed you studying together, and you never once complained when she dragged you away to the library. You could be watching the Quidditch World Cup, but if Hermione had to study, you would be there in an instant. 

You sat across from her, trying very hard not to stare at her. Her curly and unruly hair was pulled off her face with a muggle pencil, a few pieces framing her face. When she wasn’t writing, she twirled a piece in her fingers, succeeding in mesmerizing you and completely distracting you from your work. 

You shifted in your seat, trying to make yourself focus on the Charms essay in front of you. You crossed your legs, accidentally grazing Hermione’s shin with your foot. You felt your face get warm at the small touch, and Hermione looked up at you from her paper.

“‘M sorry,” you mumbled, cringing at the slight tremble in your voice.

“It’s alright,” she whispered back, looking back down at her paper. 

You let out a deep breath, closing your eyes and not letting yourself look up at her. You bit your lip, tensing in your seat. These days, it was incredibly hard to get any real studying done when you were with Hermione. Everything she did made you fall even more in love with her. 

“Harry?” Hermione whispered in a slightly annoyed but curious tone, causing you to look around for the boy.

“Hey guys,” Harry said, smiling, as he slid into the seat next to you, “was wondering where you were, found ya.”

You fought the urge to wince at Harry’s awkward greeting, giving him a small smile as Hermione turned back to her paper.

“What are you guys up to?” Harry pressed, leaning closer to you to look at your paper.

“Charms,” Hermione said, still sounding annoyed, without looking up from her paper.

“Oi, Hermione,” Harry acted as if he just remembered something, “I’ve been meaning to ask you this; you remember that book you read a few weeks back, about werewolves? Would you let me borrow it?”

Hermione’s face lit up at Harry’s request. She dropped her quill and looked to him.

“You mean Wanderings with Werewolves by Gilderoy Lockheart?” She said excitedly, the corners of her mouth lifting in a faint smile.

You felt your heart beat faster when Hermione smiled, watching her eyes fill with joy. 

“Yeah,” Harry said reluctantly, forcing a similar excited smile.

“I got that here, in the library,” Hermione talked fast, looking around at the books around her, “I returned it already, should be back on the shelves for you.”

“Would you get it for me? I’m rubbish at finding books,” Harry pleaded, taking advantage of Hermione’s excitement. 

“Of course! I’ll be right back,” she got up from her chair and walked quickly to some shelves a few rows over.

“You don’t read, let alone read books by Lockheart. What’d you do that for?” you asked Harry, seeing through him.

“I wanted to talk to you about Hermione,” he said lazily, watching Hermione as she ducked between two tall shelves and began thumbing through the tons of books by Lockheart.

“Harry-” you scolded him, looking around frantically to make sure Hermione hadn’t heard. She was still looking at the books, her back to you and Harry

“What? She’s not listening. Anyway,” Harry began, smiling devilishly at you, “I talked to Draco-”

“You told Draco?” you had to stop yourself from screaming at him, only so Hermione wouldn’t hear and come over.

“Of course I told Draco, he’s the romantic one of the two of us! He had a great idea. If you’d stop interrupting me, I might tell you,” Harry said, waiting for you to calm down.

“Fine, right, I’m sorry,” you said, looking down at your fingers as you nervously fidgeted with them. 

Harry’s comforting hand rested on top of them, “What’s the matter?”

“I’m really bloody nervous, Harry,” you started, looking up at Harry to see his quirked eyebrow telling you to go on, “I mean, she’s my best friend. If she doesn’t like me back, and I tell her, we won’t be the same,” you paused, taking in a deep breath, “But, I don’t think I can stand to be friends with her anymore, I want more.” 

Harry nodded knowingly at you and rubbed your hand soothingly. You sighed, looking up and smiling gratefully at him. 

Behind you, Hermione put her ear against the bookshelf closest to you and Harry, the book about werewolves clutched in her hands. She blushed as she listened to your confession, biting her lip to hide a huge smile. She peeked through books, listening to Harry comfort you with old stories about him and Draco before they finally confessed to each other. Hermione’s heart swelled, a feeling of relief coursing through her body. She played with her fingers nervously as she waited for Harry to leave, a sense of boldness coming over her that she had never felt before.

After a while, Harry left you at the table. Hermione ducked when you looked around for her, hiding behind a thick stack of books. She waited for a moment before standing again, turning and walking from behind the shelf, only to run straight into you. The book about werewolves fell to the floor, but neither of you cared much about it anymore. You stared longingly into each others eyes, and Hermione spoke first.

“Would you go to Hogsmeade with me this weekend?” she blurted out, eyes widening as the words spilled from her mouth. 

“Sure, are Ron and Harry coming too?” you asked, figuring she wanted to go to Hogsmeade the same way you and the group of your friends had been going for years. 

“No, just us,” she said, smiling nervously at you.

“Ron? Passing up a Hogsmeade trip?” you joked, swallowing hard as you realized you were still standing extremely close to Hermione.

“A date-” she blurted out again, this time louder, like she had been forcing herself to say it, “I want to go on a date with you to Hogsmeade.”

You felt your mouth open in shock, slightly upturning your lips in surprise. You nodded your head vigorously, causing Hermione to duck her head down in a bashful sort of way. 

“Perfect,” she said, walking past you back to the table you both shared. 

You followed her, watching as she packed her things into her bag. She couldn’t stop smiling, and neither could you. She was careless with her things, nearly crumpling her newly written Charms essay. Her cheeks were pink as she smiled shyly at you before walking out of the library. You watched her leave, waving back at her when she looked over her shoulder for one more glance at you. 

[jungshookz]

plz jealous yoonji drabble for pride month

➺ pairing; min yoonji x reader

➺ genre; *clown nose honk*, roommate!taehyung pre-y/n so get ready to have all of your buttons pushed 

➺ wordcount: 2k

➺ what to expect; “you owe me seven more kisses when you get back.” 

➺ note; this was supposed to be a fun little drabble for pride month but miss yoonji is fashionably late as per usual!!! i’m so sorry for the delay!!!! yoonji follows her own schedule and never picks up any of my calls!!!! also this isn’t really a jealous drabble?? it’s kind of just a yoonji drabble?? but i hope u enjoy it nonetheless

                                   ➽───────────────❥

“vueff how many vrapefs are in my mouf.”

yoonji looks up from her phone when she feels you tap her forearm gently and almost immediately her shoulders droop when she sees your mouth stuffed to the briM with grapes

unfortunately this isn’t anything out of the ordinary

this is just another day of dating a complete idiot of a girlfriend

“someday, you’re going to choke when you do that.” she shakes her head, “and i might not be there to help you fish the grapes out of your throat.”

you roll your eyes before pointing to your mouth, “vueff!”

“what do i get out of this?” yoonji sighs as she props her cheek up against her fist, “besides the pure disappointment of knowing that i’m dating an absolute lunatic?”

“vou vet nuffing. now vueff!” you point to your overstuffed mouth enthusiastically

(there are eight grapes in your mouth)

alright

fine

she’ll play along

only because she knows you’ll keep insisting if she chooses to ignore you

yoonji leans forward to peek into your mouth and scowls when one of them plops out and bounces on the table

you grab it quickly and yoonji doesn’t get the chance to stop you before you shoVe it back into your mouth

“wh- that’s unhygienic, y/n! you don’t know what’s been on this table!” yoonji scolds and grabs her empty water cup before holding it under your mouth, “spit all of them out now before you choke.”

you shake your head stubbornly and yoonji’s right eye twitches

“y/n. now.” she shakes the cup and reaches over to grab your face but you quickly swat her hand away and yoonji resists the urge to stranGLE the crap out of you

“you in’t vueff yet.”

“god, fine- um, i don’t know, seven??”

the grapes plop out of your mouth and into the cup one by one but you keep one in your mouth on purpose before chewing quickly and swallowing (u didn’t think yoonji would notice but she definitely did)

“seven! you were right!” you grin and clap your hands together before wiping your mouth with the back of your hand

yoonji would find that endearing if she wasn’t holding a cup full of your drooly mouth grapes

“so do i get a prize?” she asks sarcastically as she sets the cup down and pushes it off to the side

“i can give you seven kisses for seven grapes.” you suggest as you lean on the table a little more

yoonji smiles slyly and begins to lean in as well, “you and i both know very well there were eight grapes in your mouth. don’t rip me off like that, woman.” she reaches over to take one of your hands in hers and-

“good afternoon, ladies.” the two of you turn to look up at whoever it is that decided noW would be a good time to interrupt and you force a friendly smile on your face when you see who it is

“taehyung! hi. can i help you with something?” you pull away from yoonji so that you can turn to look up at him and she lets out a little huff

she was about to get a boost of serotonin and it was just riPPED away from her because of whoever this guy is

“nah, nah. i just wanted to come over here and like, thank you for lending me a pencil in class the other day.” taehyung lets out a sigh before crossing his arms, “it was really cool of you to do that.” 

you raise a brow when you notice him flexing a little bit

he’s really trying

you can see the effort being exuded through his face

…he actually looks like he’s slightly constipated 

“oh! well… no problem! i’m always here to lend a hand.” you chirp before pressing your lips together

a moment of silence ticks by and you glance over at yoonji to see her glaring up at taehyung

“so did you need anything else?” you clear your throat before reaching up to scratch behind your ear

this is getting a little awkward and you’d just like to give your girlfriend the eight kisses she deserves without an audience

“well, yeah.” taehyung pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek, “actually, this is probably going to sound so crazy, but... i was wondering if maybe you wanted to, like… come over to my place sometime.”

…?

what?

what is happening right now?

“to… to do wha- why would i want to go over to your place?” you narrow your eyes suspiciously and tilt your head

“well… you know.”

you know?

you do?

…

OH

ohhhhhhh

oh.

well, this is going to be awkward.

“what on god’s good green earth is happening?” yoonji asks under her breath and you resist to urge to laugh at the look of complete bewilderment on her face, “am i- does he see me? am i here right now?” she reaches down to pinch her own arm

“yeah. you know.” taehyung’s right eye drops in a sleazy wink and you feel your stomach turn, “i’m a good samaritan, you know? always happy to return favours.”

is this guy for real????

you lend him a pencil ONE time and suddenly he thinks that means you’re willing to sleep with him????

“well, uh, you know- you don’t have to return any favours. i mean, it was just a pencil!” you clear your throat, “really. it’s fine. next time, you can just lend me a pencil and we can call it even that way!”

“but, like-“ taehyung leans forward to rest both his palms on the surface of the table, “i’m really hot. and you’re pretty hot. so… think of this as us doing god a favour.”

“i actually spoke to god this morning and i can confirm that he does not see this as a favour whatsoever.” yoonji mutters, “in fact, i’m pretty sure it’s one of the seven sins-“

“miss, please,” taehyung interrupts yoonji by holding a finger out at her, “i’m sure you’re very nice and all but you’re not really my type. thank you, though.”

what the-

your eyes widen a little when he flicks his wrist at her before turning back to look at you

first of all he’s crazy because yoonji is literally everyone’s type

and second of all oOp-

“oh my goodness, i’m not?” yoonji gasps as she holds her hand over her mouth, “well, thank frickin’ god i’m not-“

“anyways, i’m… well, for lack of a better term, i guess i’m flattered by your offer…? but i’m actually in a relationship, so… no, i will not be going over to your place.” you shrug, “but i’m happy to continue to lend you pencils if you ever forget to bring one to class again.”

“…wait, who are you dating?” taehyung frowns, “is he, like, would he be down to let you off the hook this one time?”

you open your mouth to speak but yoonji holds a hand out before whiPPing her head around to finally look at taehyung for the first time, “what sewer did your slimy ass crawl out o-“

“the person i’m dating is literally right here.” you cross your arms before leaning back against your chair, “like, right here.”

taehyung pauses and you can practically hear the gears in his head working overtime in an effort to help him understand what you’re saying

and then his eyes soften as he reaches up to place a hand over his chest, “aw, baby… i’m flattered, but i’m really not a relationship kind of guy-“

oh my god

how THICK is his skull?!??

“no, no i- i don’t mean you, taehyung. that wasn’t me asking you to go steady-“ you point to yoonji who looks like she’s having the time of her life listening to all the idiotic things coming out of taehyung’s mouth, “i’m dating her. her name is yoonji. she is my girlfriend. i am dating yoonji. yoonji is my girlfriend.”

taehyung turns to look over at yoonji and she gives him a little wave

what?

you’re dating her?

but…

what????

“…but you dated jungkook last year?” taehyung reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, “so how… is this possible…?”

yoonji resists the urge to let out a screech of delight because this is just PURE entertainment

reality tv could never!!!!!

“i mean, this is fantastic!” yoonji snorts, “on this day, society has somehow progressed backwards-“

“that- yes, that’s true!” you chuckle awkwardly, “i… unfortunately, i was dating jungkook for a short period of time. but… i’m not dating him anymore! again, i’m dating-“

“me! she’s dating me.” yoonji chimes in and smiles sweetly when taehyung looks over at her like she’s a three-headed turtle

“but if you dated jungkook, who’s a guy… and now you’re dating yoongi-“

“-yoonji-“

“-who’s a girl… then… like… so you’re… gay? jungkook turned you gay??”

okay

well

you can confirm that there are actually no gears in taehyung’s noggin

it’s just… it’s all dust and cobwebs up there, you think.

“jungkook didn’t turn me g-“ you pause, “well, maybe a little- look, uh, the point is, i’m saying no to you because i have a girlfriend.”

“wait, so like-“ taehyung looks around quickly before leaning in again, “is this you guys lowkey inviting me for a threesome? because i’d be down even though your friend’s kind of scary-“

“you know what, i’m going to go and get a snack from the vending machine!” your chair screeches against the floor as you stand up quickly, “on behalf of you, i’m terminating this conversation. yoonji, you want anything?” you look over at her as you rummage through your pockets for some loose change

“all good, baby.” yoongi shakes her head as she continues to stare up at taehyung

it’s just so… fascinating…

the complete lack of common sense and basic awareness is truly mind-boggling!

she’d love to conduct some experiments on this doofus just to see what’s going on up there

“alright, well-“ you lean over the table and purse your lips

yoonji perks up before leaning in to give you a sweet little kiss, “you owe me seven more kisses when you get back.”

“nuh-uh, it’s six-!” you tease as you walk away from the table, “six!!!”

“seven!!!!”

the fond smile drops from yoonji’s face when she turns back to see taehyung still standing there looking like he’s trying to figure out the quadratic formula in his head

yoonji stares up at taehyung smugly when he looks down at her with a sad little frown, “that’s right. i’m the one who’s taking her home tonight. just let that settle in, little buddy.”  

“i just… don’t… she said no because…”

yoonji reaches over to grab your cup of drooly mouth grapes before raising it up for taehyung, “…grape? might make you feel better.”

an evil smile twitches at the corner of her mouth when taehyung pops one into his mouth

“yeah. eat the drooly grapes, pencil boy.”

help me help you make your wishes come tru (aka send me a request)

requested drabbles masterlist

[eluminium]

Raid (hehe fanfic)

So i made a Masqueraiders (belongs to @reginaldcopperbottom) fanfic because i could. Yes it’s about 3k words. This one has been a long time in the making and I’m happy i finally got it done!

Please enjoy!

A groan escaped his throat as the car sent vibrations throughout his tired body. This was 100% not his day.

Scratch that, this was 100% not his week.

Although he knew that from the glorious hour he rose from his bed, with soreness traveling down his spine like a waterslide. These past days had been hell for the department, with criminal organizations raiding places left, right, and center. Good sleep was a rarity, and many fellow cops were falling asleep by their desks, only to be woken up by a call to action. And now it was his turn to deal with these crooks.

"The museum of Geology...A prime raiding target for any thief with common sense" mumbled his partner while taking a turn.

"Yeah, no shit Sherlock..." was his grumpy response. 

"Who do you think it is this time?" his partner joked.

"I bet on the Crownminals, from what we got these thieves are well organized, and that's their brand"

"That makes sense, although could always be Toppats too. Y'know one time-"

As the words kept spilling out of his partner's mouth, his eyes wandered afield, out towards the rearview mirror. A fog gathered in his eyes as the blinking red and blue lights burrowed into him and the world around him faded a bit. Maybe he could get some quality sleep after this. Just gotta take out these criminals and then drop dead like a ragdoll. God, some good sleep was gonna be heavenly, he could almost feel the plushness of his bed calling out to him.

"We're..he...re! ...Hel..lo? yo..u the..re?"

So soft...He could almost pretend...

"Dude! You there?"

"Ugh, yeah yeah I'm here, stop snapping your fingers in my face" he murmured angrily as his feet touched the ground outside the car. 

The cold metal of his pistol dug into his hand. The museum and everything around it was engulfed in chaos. He picked up on various orders coming from colleagues, but it didn't seem to contain the animalistic anarchy around them.

A tired breath flowed out of his lips, this was not gonna be simple or coordinated, was it? Welp, better just get a good position and-

The ground rumbled angrily as an explosion tore through the museum. His body swayed violently as screams echoed in his ears.

"Shit! They need backup! C'mon, don't just stand there!"

Before he could even respond, a tight grip had grasped his shirt and his body was traveling faster than his mind. Dear lord, the guy was fast! In through the entrance, through the gunfire, people people people screaming loud loud-

SLAM!

The door's impact echoed in his ears as his mind tried to catch up with whatever the fuck just happened. The sleep deprivation wasn't helping at all.

"What...the HELL...did just happen?"

"Oh, sorry dude, went a bit too fast there!" his partner cheered.

"You could say that again..." he grumbled.

His disapproving stare tore through his partner, who could only respond by scratching the back of his neck with sweat dripping down his face. So awkward he was, with his apologetic smile and soft-looking face- Nope, that was NOT what he was gonna focus on. 

They stayed locked in that position, staring at each other stiffly until the sound of someone clearing their throat reached their ears. Both their gazes turned towards this new presence.

"Hello gentlemen, thank you for finally noticing us!" A masked fellow cheered.

His lips remained sealed as his gaze wandered over the man. The man's mask seemed to resemble two shining suns, and a well-kept sun hat covered up his head, even though it was mid-October. His arms, however, were tied up with a rope across his stomach. But even then, a bright and shrewish smile adorned his face.

"Alright, you can stop starring at me now pig, It was way more entertaining to watch you two play gay chicken."

What.

"Agh! N-No, we weren't! I-I'm not even gay!" his partner exclaimed with embarrassment.

Suddenly, a strange protectiveness surged through his veins. His feet moved before his mind did, and he unexpectedly found himself between his partner and these fowl mask people.

"Oh yeah, that kid is definitely gay. Maybe the grump is gay too. Mad respect." the masked man chuckled to someone behind him.

He felt his face morph into a sneer as flustered squeaks clawed their way out of his partner's throat. His eyes turned to the woman behind the masked man, and they narrowed as he noticed more masked people tied up behind them. 

This had to be a temporary cell, and these are its inmates. A bunch of weird...mask people.

Wait.

Mask people...Mask thieves? No that couldn't be right. Mask heisters? Maskings? Mask sneakers? Masquerade raiders? No that was stupid no-one in their right mind would choose that-

"Hey, big guy~"

He quickly snapped away from his thoughts with all his attention focused on the masked lady. Her hair was long and slightly curly, with the texture of the darkest night in December. Although, there were spots of color too. A purple crown with a white moon rested on her raven head. She was, factually, a beauty.

But something about that...seductive tone made his skin crawl, and not in a good way. More in an 'i'll pay you to never speak to me like that again' way.

"Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you got fine written all over you~"

Nope. Nope nope nope nope ew NO.

His mind was blank, and he looked like a fish out of water. It felt like disgusting bugs were crawling around inside his skin. Wait, was she wiggling her hips-?

"Dude? You online?"

He snapped back to reality and averted his stare. That was his partner. Right he still had a job to do. Criminals first, thinking about why he felt so uncomfortable with a woman flirting with him later. Luckily for him, a name got caught in his brainwaves.

He turned back towards the masked woman, his face stitched into a more serious expression.

"Masqueraiders correct?" he questioned with a head tilt.

The masked lass took a second to compose herself. Her purple gloved hand reached up and pushed her just as purple star marked mask back into place. It only took a single glance at the cop's "serious" face for her resolve to break, and the laughter burst out of her mouth like a botched dam. 

"PffFFFFF HAHAHAHA! Y-Yeah, we are the MasqurAIDHHERERESSS! OH MY GOD, AIEDEN! LOOK AT HIS FACE!"

The gaze of the sun mask fellow, which had settled on his slightly less flustered partner, turned to him. And the cackling flowed out of his mouth not long after.

"ASTRA HE LOOKS LIKE A BABY WITH A BEARD! HOLY FUCK I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS! I THOUGHT BEARDS WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE YOU LOOK OLDER NOT YOUNGER! COPS TRY TO MARKET THEMSELVES AS SCARY BUT, I AM POSITIVELY DYING-"

Ouch, that was a hit to the ego. The expression of seriousness faltered a little bit as his gaze turned to the ground. Wow, was he letting these crooks get under his skin?

Yes, he was.

He was tired! What can he say?

The laughter kept echoing in his ears for a bit, really destroying any hubris he had beforehand. The feeling of his partner's worried stare really didn't help. It actually made it more embarrassing. If this was 100% not his day before, now it was 150% not his day. The flow in his brain had practically stopped as he tried to reboot his thinking process. Okay, okay, he's got this. Just gotta-

An abrupt and intense movement in front of his eyes caused the mental reboot to speedrun through the last stages. The click of a gun bounced between the walls of the room, and the mocking laughter ceased abruptly. He couldn't make out the faces of the tied up convicts who mocked him or see them at all, for that matter, because his partner's body was standing protectively between him and the Masqueraiders. Well wasn't this familiar? I guess bros gotta protect bros. He didn't have to see it with his bare eyes to know that there was a gun pointed at the crooks. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife.

"Hey, dudes, ladies, and thudes. Didn't we all learn that you should treat the police with an ounce of respect when we were younger?"

His partner's voice was smooth as a bead, yet it still possessed that edge of "dudebro" that was so unique to him. It was such a lovely song to his ears. God, what he would do to hear it more...

His head quickly swung side to side as if he was trying to shake that thought out of his head. No homo, no homo. Right?

The still but tense air that settled after his partners' words broke with a snort and some giggles. 

"Oh? Mind filling me in on the joke dude?" his partner quipped while the gun clattered in his hands.

"Don't you hear it lad?" The sun-masked fellow whose name apparently was Aieden responded confidently. Well, confidently when you consider that there was a gun in his face.

"Hear what?"

Now that he mentioned it, there seemed to be footsteps approaching their little hideaway spot. Very quick yet...heavy steps. Oh fuck. Could it be-?!

"Get down-!"

He felt his hand instinctively clutch the sleeve of his partner before they made contact with the hard floor. The seconds ticked on, and on, and on.

CRASH!

"HOLY FUCK-"

The wall by their side crumbled into pieces as an unstoppable force smashed into it. He felt the fabric of his partner's sleeve crack as he dragged them both out of the way of this brute.

"Freeze! This is-"

The gun rattled in his hands, his eyes dilated with fear. Because now he saw this person, this giant, clearly. Holy mother of God.

The man in front of him bore clothes in brilliant green and black. On his face rested a mysterious black mask that only covered one half, and a white spot resembling an eye covered the spot on the mask where his actual eye would be. Emerald green boots, teeth sharp as stalactites... 

And this fowl criminal was enormous. He dwarfed everybody else in that little supply closet, probably standing at around 7 feet tall! Jesus Christ, was he dealing with crooks or actual mythical beings?!

Luckily for him though, this gigantic force of nature didn't seem to pay any attention to his intimidation attempt. He seemed more focused on freeing his fellow Masqueraiders from their imprisonment, the leaf color feathers on his hat bouncing side to side. 

"There ya' are Ricardo! I'm surprised it took this long!"

He knew he couldn't go up against a beast like that. He'd get pummeled into the ground and lose every tooth he had left. His gaze wandered back to his partner's still face as he tried to think up a plan. A slight panic flowed down his spine when he noticed that his partner wasn't moving, but a quick check revealed that his heartbeat was strong and his soft breathing still there. Must have been knocked out...

He felt his arm reach for a spare curtain that was discarded next to them, and soon his partner rested under it, hidden from view. It was best to keep him secured until he woke up again.

As he observed the big green man whose name was Ricardo do his big green man things, a sudden flash of vibrant red caught his gaze. Someone had rushed past the big hole in the wall, someone clad in crimson. There was no doubt about it. It had to be the Masqueraiders leader himself, Sylvester Wesley. He knew it had to be him. And if he could capture their leader, maybe he could gain an advantage over these masks who mocked him. Although maybe it wasn't Wesley, maybe there was another red-clad mask bastard. But even then, capturing any Masqueraider would be a victory at this point. His pride was on the line after all!

He glanced back at his partner, still unconscious. A seed of doubt grew in his chest, should he really leave his partner like this? After everything that had happened...

Once again, his head bounced side to side. No, he had to do this. He had to apprehend SOMEONE. His partner would be fine, he just had to be! He was hidden, they'd never find him, right? He made his decision. It was time to round up some criminals.

Yet, the feeling of doubt and worry only grew stronger as he sneaked out through the hole made by the giant. Was he doing the right thing? Is this justice? To leave an unconscious man vulnerable? He didn't know, but he pushed those thoughts to the side as he spotted the red-clad criminal again. He seemed to be rounding up the last of their loot, with a big potato sack slung over his shoulder. It was certain now, that was the Masqueraiders leader himself. The black mask and red hat gave it away.

He cleared his throat before once again pointing his weapon at the crook.

"Freeze! Police!"

He met the gaze of the black-masked man and expected to meet a pair of eyes drowned in confusion. Yet all he could spot was a slight hint of surprise and then a kind of...playful mockery. A very familiar sight by now. 

"Catch me if you can!" The Masqueraiders leader sang out as he bolted down the hallway with the goods.

He took off after him, uselessly chasing the nimble and quick Wesley. Gunshots echoed off the walls as he unleashed a salvo aimed at the leader, yet all the shots either missed or were reflected by the skilled swordsman's weapon. Every bullet, no matter where he aimed. Time after time after time again, nothing seemed to be hitting this disgustingly fast weasel. Frustration boiled in his guts, come on now! He was so tantalizingly close to regaining his dignity and getting revenge on the Masqueraiders. Yet still NOTHING!

A roar of anger escaped him, his feet moving even faster. All he got back from Wesley was a coy grin and just...the most punchable expression ever.

"Hah! You're way too slow, ever considered hitting the gym?!" 

"Shut up!"

"You're not my dad so you can't tell me what to doooo~"

He was gonna crack Wesleys skull open like a watermelon. He was gonna do it, nothing could stop him from squeezing that stupid overconfident head in like a pimple. And he actually seemed to be closing in on him! His gun had run out of ammo by now, but he was hot on his heels now!

Wait, was he deliberately slowing down? Was Wesley running slower to ridicule him even more? Oh, this motherfucker...

He was laser-focused now, not considering where his feet were taking him. So when he ran into an open exhibit, he didn't notice the danger lurking by the stage lights. He just wanted to commit some nice ol' murder on the man who kept taunting him.

"Veronica! Now!"

But that, that stopped him a bit. What? Was Wesley calling for backup? But, there's nobody here. Or is there? Wait who was Veronica? He followed Wesley's gaze and noticed a lady dressed in purple sitting by one of the stage lights. She had a very similar mask to the big green-

He couldn't see any more details of her, or see at all for that matter. A scream clawed its way out of his lungs, his eyes feeling like they were burning. His body swayed from side to side, and his sweaty hands were covering his eyes. The empty gun clattered to the floor. That bitch, she'd used the stage light like a flashbang! The force against his face provided by his hands harshened, trying to block out as much as he could.

"Oh, how the turntables turn!"

He felt Wesley's presence next to him, teasing him. Oh, he wanted nothing more than to beat his ass, but he couldn't get his hands off his face without causing worse pain. An angry gurgle was what he gave in response.

"Aw, how cute. Did you really think you could catch the great Sylvester Wesley? One of the sneakiest sneakers who have ever sneaked? With your rancid vibes? Don't make me laugh! Or well, I'm already laughing, so jokes on you!" Ugh, that dumb tone...

"I can't believe you managed- What Veronica? ...Aw come on can't I just mess with him a little more? Yeah yeah, I know there's probably- Veronica can you make a little exception- OKAY okay FINE I'll knock him out and we'll leave with the loot. You owe me a pop tart now."

"Toooo deee looo turtle, have fun in dreamland!"

Before he could even fight back, something hard impacted the side of his head. He was swallowed up by the sweet release of unconsciousness, something he'd been craving all day. The last thing he knew was the cold feel of the floor, and the faint sound of footsteps burrowing into his ear.

Darkness...A rumbling noise of somebody talking to him...He slowly felt himself returning to the land of the awake, a killer pain pounding in his head. The first thing he sees when he opens his eyes is his partner with a few bandages tied around his head. He talked, and talked, and talked. He looked kinda cute like this, hair all fluffed up and features so soft. But he's talking too fast for him to pick anything up.

Although all those thoughts disappear when he notices something on his stomach. His hand closes around the object, his partner's worried squawks becoming nothing but background noise. It was a black velvet mask.

He couldn't take his gaze off it, it was locked to this replica of Wesley's famous mask. As his partner finally got a grip on him and started carrying him out of the destroyed museum, there was only one thought on his mind.

"I'll get that bastard, I'll throw him behind bars myself."

[sunflowerhae]

Linger

Episode• 2/8

Mobile Masterlist •

♡ ✐

Authors note• honestly I’m beginning to write this character abt myself. AND IM FAILING MATH !🌞🌙✨

Warnings• language, mentions of masturbation

Songs• Norman fucking Rockwell - Lana Del Rey/ everything I wanted - Billie Eilish/

•”so, you know mark?”

•real smart Jaemin

•you weren’t really focused on what he said

•bc what

•what

•did Na Jaemin just

•talk 2 you?

•the boy? You’ve been crushing on? Since freshman year biology? Wtf?

•you probably looked like a fish

•this was you (•0•)

•just staring at him

•and he’s looking at you like your crazy

•I mean he’s secretly thinking u look so adorable and funny

•and he’s so nervous you’ll reject him

•but you suddenly smile at him

•and you’re like “uh yeah! He’s my math tutor!”

•Jaemin is

•in disbelief

•at a number of things

•1) is there an award for being the prettiest person on Earth? You just won it wtf

•2) thank god he’s only ur tutor

•3) how can he get himself to be ur tutor bc he literally has this class with u

•4) how are u literally a goddess wtf

•he can’t believe he just spoke his first words to you ever and it was abt mark

•he’s gonna play it off doe

•”what! No! He’s literally illiterate, let me tutor you! I have this class with you!”

•coulda played that cooler Jaemin wtf

•but it doesn’t matter

•bc you laughed

•”you wanna tutor me? For free?”

•Jaemin is THINKIN “I’ll kill for you for free bb wtf”

•no it didn’t say I’ll kill you for free go back and read it again

• I’d take either doe!! Hahahaha just kidding,,,,,unless ?👀

•but he SAYS “no problem! I have nothing better to do!”

•the thing is

•you had liked Jaemin since freshman year, like previously mentioned

•but it was more than that

•you LIKED liked him

•and you totally thought he didn’t know who you were

•but ig he did

•so you agreed that maybe you guys could go over the work tomorrow after school

•but he had practice,

•and you had your club

•and the library would be closed

•guess ur gonna have to go to ur house!!!

•haha haha

•IM A GENIUS

•I suppose it’s safe to say

•ur mother fell in love w Jaemin more than u think she loved u

•sure she was wondering who tf he was

•but he was cute

•and nice

•and a BOY

•she was thanking any god that was real

•that finally you had a love interest

•AND SHE FUCKING SAID THAT

•”MOM!” -u

•”Well!” -ur mom

•”❤️o❤️” -jaemin

•as if he couldn’t fall in love more

•u had great parents

•he ain’t surprised tbh

•so u DRAGGED his ass into ur room (w some juice boxes and cookies provided by ur mommy)

•and this boy

•whew

•who fucking knew u were a hippie witch (I only put this in here bc IM a hippie witch and we need representation)

•if it wasn’t the many different tapestries u had that gave it away,

•maybe the strong smell of insense or the Fleetwood Mac and Mazzy Star vinyls did it

•Jaemin was trying not to NUT

•the bass!

•the sublime poster!

•the plants!

•the paintings of jellyfish!

•the bernie posters!

(This is actually just a list of things in my bedroom IM SORRY)

•the flavor was immaculate for him

•so you actually didn’t end up studying

•you guys were bouncing from one thing to another

•you explaining how gay u are for Lana Del Rey

•him explaining how Honeymoon deserved better

•it was ur turn to nut

•y’all had a lot in common

•almost,,too much

•so this was not the last time he came over

•it got to the point where your mother started calling him son

•and eventually, he invited u over to his homie

•bc Jeno had mentioned u to his mom and now she was Intrigued™️

•bc Jaemin had shown literally no interest in anyone ever

•so she made u dinner

•it was immaculate

•the FlavOr

•it was A C T U A L L Y stuffed bell peppers

•and damn were they yummy

•y’all ever had those ??

•*chefs kiss*

•so Jaemin takes u up to his room and

•you wanted to pounce on him

•he was just

•so hot

•he was wearing a black shirt

•and a bunch of jewelry

•and his blue hair

•damn

•you two had known each other for like a month at this point

•and it seemed like you guys were teetering on the edge of friends and something more

•ur hands, always inches from touching but never actually interlocking

•ur eyes, always finding each other in a room and staying on each other, but never truly showing how the other feels

•Jaemin knew prom was 7 months away

•he had to act and act fast

•he didn’t want to

•he was honestly putting it off

•but he knew eventually he would have to do SOMETHING

•so as he watched you sit in his bed and sift through a magazine he had on his bedside table

•(which, btw, this was one of his dreams

•you in his room

•on his bed

•he used to jack off to the idea of this)

•it took three PHAT strides to get to the side of the bed

•where you were staring at Jaemin in confusion at the sudden aggression

•and he took the magazine out of your hands and YEETED that shit over his shoulder

•and just

•took your face in his hands

•and smashed ur lips to his

Continued here

{taglist}

@ivietea @fiveguysgoodbyeguys

@comically-sleep-deprived @woosans-sann @mozartwasajungkookstan @littlefluu @cxcxlxlee @jaesluvklub

@uyuzo @sweetie-yoongi7 @marklexleaf

[hazelandglasz]

klaine, “we work out at the same gym and you always look super legit but i know you sing hannah montana in the shower and you know i know” au heehee

On AO3

There are a lot of reasons why Kurt goes to this particular gym.

One: it’s two minutes away from work, which means he has no excuse not to go before going home.

Two: all things considered, it’s fairly cheap.

Three: there are no mirrors in that gym, except in the changing rooms, so there are no possibilities for some hunks to just flex and admire themselves.

Four (last but not least): the Super Legit Cutie.

SLC is just another patron of the club, one who happens to visit the gym around the same time as Kurt.

Who appears to be around his age.

Who is, as the moniker would suggest, very, very cute, unbearably so even, and doesn’t look out of place on the different machines he uses with an ease Kurt can only envy from afar while he sweats his cheesecakes away on the rowing machine and the treadmill.

Every now and then, they run side by side. The first time it happened, Kurt nearly had to save his neck from breaking because he stopped running, jaw dropping, at the way SLC’s thighs looked in motion in his teeny, tiny green shorts.

Dear Lord on a cracker, these shorts are s-i-n-f-u-l, accent on the full.

Between the shorts, the ease with the machines and the rocking body, SLC is what one could call a Gym Bunny if one was into that sort of name calling.

(Kurt, it seems, is one such individual, given the right amount of alcohol.)

Except for one little bit of information that Kurt treasures like a well-curated McQueen accessory.

See, most of the Gym Bunnies have one thing in common: even without the mirrors, they like to posture as Alpha Males, testosterone-vaganza, my muscles have muscles, etc.

True, SLC is more on the compact size, but his muscles cannot be denied--did Kurt mention the Thighs? Yes, they deserve their capital letters.

(And their own altar of worship, Kurt volunteers his bed as tribute to their grandeur.)

As gay as he may be, SLC does follow that pattern of looking, well, extra-manly.

But.

But Kurt caught him off-guard in the showers--okay, that sounds even worse outloud than it did in his head, rewind.

But Kurt heard something in the showers that made him reconsider the whole Gym Bunny scenario.

One evening, Kurt was already exhausted by his long day and he decided to cut his training session short--45 minutes was more than enough, right, especially after a day of getting yelled at for no good reason by an incredibly annoying customer and then missing the last slice of pizza and having to deal with the rest of his day with a plate of grated carrots.

Healthy, sure, but at what cost?

Anyway.

Cutting his training session short brought him back to the changing room sooner than usual--which means Kurt ended up in the changing room before the big rush of late comers, regular leavers.

Right in time for SLC’s post-training shower.

And that’s how Kurt heard him sing.

For starters, there is the fact that prior to that moment, Kurt had never heard the man’s voice, and what a shame it was. SLC sounded like a smooth singer, with just a little raspiness to make it interesting.

And then.

Then.

Then.

There is the choice of song itself.

“No way to know for sure

I’ll figure out a cure

I’m patchin’ up the holes …”

Kurt had to pause in his tracks. Hannah Montana? Really?

Not that there's anything wrong with Miley Cyrus earlier body of work, of course. It’s just so unexpected in his present environment …

“Nobody’s perfect, oohoo

I gotta work iii-iit

Again and again till I get it ri-iight…”

Kurt can only applaud SLC for his commitment to the song. If anything, he’s a dedicated performer and Kurt salutes him.

Besides, there is something in this choice of song that tugs on Kurt’s heartstrings.

A vulnerability, almost, and a desire for growth and change with which he can relate.

Kurt loses himself in his thoughts, in his wishes to find a kindred spirit, in his regrets about high school.

“And if I’m messing up sometimes, heey,

Nobody’s p--oh, hello?”

Kurt looks up in alarm and finds himself face to face with a towel-clad SLC.

A towel, and nothing else.

Sweet rollerblading Jesus.

Kurt would like to thank the goblin in a teapot on the Moon for the opportunity to be blessed with such a vision.

“H-hi.”

SLC is clutching his towel--wise move, hombre--and looks hesitant. Probably because Kurt is staring and has not said a word, like the world’s biggest creep.

“Hi!” Kurt scrambles to stand on his feet, thanking whomever is to be thanked for wearing a not totally atrocious outfit today of all days. “I--sorry, I was just--”

“No worries, no worries.” SLC rubs the back of his neck which has turned an alarming shade of red. “I wasn’t sure what you were doing here, I’m usually, well, usually alone this time of the afternoon.”

“I wasn’t stalking you.”

A frown appears on SLC’s face. “I didn’t say or think you were--should I?”

“N-no, no, just a coincidence.”

“A happy one, then.” SLC takes the couple of steps separating him from Kurt and holds his free hand. “I’ve meant to introduce myself for a while now. I’m Blaine.”

Kurt blinks, and blinks again, before shaking Blaine’s hand. “K-Kurt.”

“Nice to meet you Kurt.”

The smile on Blaine’s face is boyish and small and adorable. Kurt can feel his own cheeks stretched by a smile of his own, and he can only hope that it doesn’t bare a resemblance to the expression on Mowgli’s face in the Jungle Book.

Then something Blaine just said finally registers and is processed.

“What do you mean, you wanted to introduce yourself for a while?”

The flush on Blaine’s skin intensifies. “I mean--I’ve seen you. Around.” Blaine steps back to his locker, hiding his face in his belongings. “Around the gym, you know.”

“For a while.” Somehow, Blaine’s embarrassment makes him more approachable, and Kurt doesn’t feel as awkward as he previously did. ‘Who’s the stalker now?”

Blaine snorts and looks at Kurt over his shoulder. “Not a stalker either,” he says, his smile visible in the crinkles around his eyes. “Scout’s honor.”

Kurt cannot stop smiling. He turns to his own locker, fishing his shoes and bag. “Were you really a scout?”

“I could tell you all the tales of summer camps adventures around a cup of coffee?”

Kurt is 99% sure there is steam coming out of his ears. “Uh?”

Blaine pulls on a t-shirt--thank God, Kurt needs his brain okay--and cocks his head to the side. “If you’re free, maybe we could grab a cup of coffee, I would tell you all about being a boy scout in the middle of Ohio and you can tell me more about yourself, confirm a theory of mine.”

Kurt considers it. He is still tired, sure, but this is a far better prospect for his evening than the rerun of Project Runway and the industrial ramen waiting for him at home.

“Deal,” he finally replies. “If by coffee you mean pizza.”

“Of course.”

“And if you explain your choice of shower song.”

Blaine’s cheeks turn a tender shade of pink. “Of course.”

“Then lead the way, oh rockstar.”

Blaine smiles and shoulders his bag. That’s when Kurt finally pays attention to his outfit.

Gym attire Blaine was hot and legit, sure, a true Gym Bunny.

Civilian attire Blaine?

Preppy and Brooks Brothers material and Kurt wants to tear that bowtie off with his teeth.

“Come on,” Blaine says, “I know where to get the best pizza in the city.”

(Not that evening,, but a couple of pizza-coffee dates later, Kurt gets his wish.)

[poison-shark]

Noa’s Best Friends

Zarifa Robinson

18

Sudanese/Jamaican

Is Muslim and wears a hijab

Trans lesbian

Moved to Coast City in 9th Grade

Born to Asim and Chandice Robinson

Was born in the US but moved to Sudan after mom died

Dad’s Sudanese

Mom’s Jamaican

Mom died during childbirth

Dad’s an anesthesiologist

Mom was a surgeon

Her parents met at Uni in America

She and her dad had always been super close

Zarifa came out to her dad after a lot of inner turmoil, but he accepted her

He decided that they should move to the USA bc it’s illegal to be gay in Sudan

Zari is super sweet and outgoing, but has immense social anxiety

She’s also super stubborn and once she sets her mind on something she does it

Her heart is always in the right place and she loves making things for her friends

They all have friendship bracelets courtesy of Zari

She and Noa force Leela to go shopping with them

Loves wearing pastels and florals

Is really into gardening and botany

She and Noa geek out over science

She wants to be a florist

Zari really loves her job at The Blooming Jasmine

Is dating Leela they’re super cute

Zarifa gives Leela a different flower everyday

They started dating sophomore year

Is best friends with her girlfriend’s brother, Inayat and even better friends with Gulzar, Leela’s nibling

They all try to get Leela to at least wear stuff that goes together

Leela gases this girl up so much

So do Noa and Omar, but it’s cuter when Leela does it

Everyone is overprotective of her

U mess with Zari and u dead

Met Noa at cheer tryouts freshman year

Some of the other freshman girls said that she shouldn’t be allowed to cheer bc she’s trans and a lesbian

Noa was about to try something when Zari stopped her

She completely outshined them in that gymnasium

Naturally impressing everyone around her

The senior girls in charge knew she was gonna be on the team already

Noa invited her to sit at their lunch table

And the rest is history

Noa tells Zarifa about being a Star Sapphire a year after they meet when she demands and answer for why all of their friends are ghosting her when Noa does superhero stuff and the others cover for her

Leela Zaman

18

Is Muslim

Wears a Hijab

Lesbian

Moved to Coast City in 3rd Grade from Pakistan

Manish and Syeda Zaman are her parents

Dad died a year after they moved

Has an older brother, Inayat, who is 35

She’s an aunt

Her brother is supportive of her and has 13 yo nonbinary kid, Gulzar

Her mother is not supportive

Is dating Zarifa

Mom runs a restaurant, Piece of Pakistan

She opened it after Manish died to keep food on the table

Dad was an insurance broker

Brother’s a game developer

She’s super athletic

Plays lacrosse in fall, basketball in the winter, does track in spring, and volleyball in summer

Is super funny and sarcastic

Is not afraid to stick up for herself

Is really passionate about cooking

Has always been more of a tomboy

Has vowed never to wear skirts

Can mostly be seen in workout gear

Doesn’t care about fashion

Literal fashion disaster

Will wear rain boots with sweatpants and a ‘matching’ flannel

She’s not good at math, so Noa tutors her and Omar

Leela’s already been accepted to like 6 colleges for an athletics scholarship for girls basketball

She wants to go pro

Since Noa started making real money with the whole music thing she takes Leela to a Coast City Clippers game every year for her birthday

Works at A Piece of Pakistan to help her mom out

When she was younger she and her mom were so close, but as she got older, they grew apart for a lot of reasons

She’s very devoted to her faith even though she doesn’t talk about it much

Her mom doesn’t approve of her being a lesbian, but has accepted that she is and still loves her

Her mom is grateful that at least it’s Zarifa

Met Noa at basketball practice in 3rd grade when Noa complimented her hijab

She scored a two pointer during an ice breaker and Noa was struggling to get the ball from one of the bigger girls when she straight up pushed Noa down

Leela tripped that girl 12 times during drills

They’ve been buds ever since

Noa tells her about the Star Sapphire thing about six months after they met after Dela Pharon went nuts and kidnapped Noa to get to Carol

Omar Fernando Villaverde De La Fuente

17

Costa Rican/Venezuelan

Aro/Ace

Autistic

Born n raised in Coast City to Ronaldo Villaverde and Idania De La Fuente

Helicopter mom

Parents are divorced

Mom’s superintendent

Dad’s honorably discharged from the Air Force for losing a leg

His father cheated on his mom overseas

Married the woman he cheated on her with, Rebecca Watson

Her son lives with them at his dad’s

His parents have 50/50 custody but he hates staying with his dad

His step-brother Brandon Austin Braun is awful

Brandon is star football player for their school

Worst Person on the Planet Award goes to Brandon

Tortures Omar at school but not at home

Ronaldo treats Brandon better bc they have more in common/to appeal more to Rebecca who also deserves the aforementioned award

Rebecca doesn’t like or is condescending/rude to Omar and his friends for racist/ xenophobic/ islamophobic/ homophobic/ transphobic/ ableist reasons much like her son

Ronaldo sees none of this

Omar doesn’t tell him because he doesn’t think his dad will believe him

Joins track to make his dad happy

His mom doesn’t want to remarry and is super sweet and helpful

She has OCD retaining mostly to order, everything needs to be just so, will do things over and over till perfect

Her meds help a lot though and so does therapy

In relation to his Autism Omar really likes noise

Background noise, crowds, ocean sounds, anything

Hates silence so he listens to music in his sleep

Is a band kid

Plays snare

Can’t smell anything

Loves spicy or crunchy foods

Can’t stand smooth/creamy solids

Used to chew on his clothes

Now he only does that when stressed

Still chews on his pencils and bites his nails

Has some faint synaesthesia

He can taste certain words like purple tastes sweet

Fears nothing, but has to look both ways before crossing the street and always puts his seatbelt on as soon as he gets to the car

Impulsive

Says things as he thinks them a lot or sometimes will blurt out active thoughts no matter what

Clicks his pens to stim when he can’t have headphones in or when there is no noise

Other stims: drumming, chewing, humming, tongue clicking, snapping his fingers, clapping, collecting

Special interests fish, biology, splatoon, music

Will feed his fish at 5 am everyday

Noa gets him a new fish every year for his birthday

He has panic attacks when they die so he calls Noa and they hold fishy toilet funerals

Works at the Coast City Aquarium

Helps Noa write music

He gets 50%

Does not like being at his dad’s house so every other week he hangs out at Noa’s or Leela’s brother’s

Met Noa her first day of 1st grade at Westport Elementary

Noa was told by Ms. Sault and Mrs. Pecora to sit next to him

The bonded over science, music, and the fact that Noa is technically Atlantean

Noa is one of the only people he is actually comfortable around

She protects him from Brandon and has been suspended multiple times for snapping his wrist and breaking his nose

The two of them had ‘study group’ every other week

It was more of an excuse to get him out of his dad’s house

They did study though Noa tutors him in math bc he really doesn’t get it and he helps her memorize dead white guys for history

They continue this into high school but now with Zari and Leela

Noa tells him about the whole Star Sapphire thing after three months of them being friends because he said kids ‘like them’ were never heroes

She proved him wrong, but she’s been trying to make him see that he’s already proven himself wrong

Zari doesn’t quite get his autism like Noa and eventually Leela, but she tries and defends him against anyone who tries some shit

Even though Leela was originally Noa’s friend, the two bonded over time despite having very little common interest other than track

@gegeru @insideoflit

[chroma-asks]

Out-of-Context Chroma System Quotes

(Good luck guessing who said what if you don’t already actively know)

-Motherfuckin’ Spaghetti-O rectum

-Candied baboon ass

-You wouldn’t happen to have a blow torch, would you? (Followed by) The fuck do I look like, an inventor?

-Would you care for some hot grapes…?

-Pls don’t snu-snu the puppet

-Carbonara bananas

-A meme cowboy who says “Yeetthot”

-What if we had an alter named Bacon

-Skyward Sword isn’t bad, it’s just that the boy’s nose is stupid

-Weiss needs more buttcheeks to fill in for her many assholes

-You ever sit and think that battering rams were probably actually designed to look like dicks but history books didn’t like that?

-Fuck me vibrating spider

-It has a daddy kink and hit on Cthulhu, I’m gonna call it what I want

-I put the romance in ‘necromance’

-Go eat Donald Trump’s toenail clippings

-If you say ‘hachacha’ one more time I’m ripping off your dumb nose to put ice cream into

-Hail the Irish, bitch.

-Yes, please don’t ruffle my onesie, it’s Gucci.

-Stop eating all the orange flavored candies you pathetic weenie

-That’s like eating a burrito on Taco Tuesdays

-How are you doing that you have no pupils

-So If Orion walks around without a shirt, he’s completely naked

-You know your house has thin walls when you can hear grandma farting in the bathroom

-So the plural for tooth is teeth like foot with feet. So why isn’t the plural for boot…. beet?

-Gwen puts the “tit” in “competition”

-(in reference to the crusades)Ye Olde Mosh Pit

-Considering Damon’s been harkin’ Harold’s balls all week, I’d assume the latter

-We’re going on the road to El Dorito

-61 vagànias

-What’s this, the Cryptid Lottery?

-That’s it, I’m calling CPS…….Clown Protective Services

-They are seriously playing Blurred Lines in this old people dance club

-Make your ballet shoes 99.9% better by installing syringes filled with chemo in the back

-Black holes are like the Cotton Eye Joe of space. Where do they come from and where do they go

-Wouldn’t it suck if hurricanes and tornadoes were 96% gas?

-Imagine if Vague’s name was pronounced “vagoo”

-PAKA YOU CANNOT NICKNAME JELOSE “JELLO HENTAI” I SWEAR TO GOD

-Anything is mayonnaise when you put your mind to it

-Hhhhhh smells like gonorrhea

-So wait if YOU’RE me, and I’M me, then who’s piloting the flesh jaeger???

-It’s Meat Time™️

-I dance like a freshly peeled lizard

-If I punch a blunt out of someone’s mouth does that make me a weed-whacker?

-“If we get mistaken for an anime enough do you think somebody out there might write an Mpreg fanfic about Damon” “Dear god I hope not”

-I am become symbiote

-If Naraku can also spin webs can he knit a sweater too????

-REPTILES ARE ASLEEP DO ALL THE THINGS NOW

-Beans beans the good for your heart, the more you eat the more you…… love your girlfriend

-Silence you lesser potato

-So I know beefcake is supposed to refer to really muscly dudes but what is it actually like is it a cake made entirely out of beef or is it a cake shaped like a beef

-My love for cheese is canon

-TASTEY MAN

-That really peels my grapes

-Mom said it’s my turn on the flesh jaeger

-Fish-slapping has an entirely new meaning when it’s Damon and Mero going on a date

-Hello would you like to purchase some salmonella

-You must add the phlegm

-Please don’t put your dick in the Christmas water

-The fuck is a ceviche

-By process of elimination…. you are a bitch.

-You are the Mac to my cheese

-It’s the cloaca.

-SOMEBODY HELP TORY’S BEEN HIT WITH SEXY BITCH DISEASE

-Hey just poppin’ in to let you know the Bethesda thing is happening again, k thanks I love u

-Because stabby stabby blood freezy

-sumfin smlel liek toileeeeeeet

-do you want the beesing phuckchurger or not

-I vote we get a pole cause I wanna be the Lord of the Dance 2, Stripper Edition

-don’t forget to water your Satan

-funky funky chunky chunky, monkey butter pet a bee, beep beep sheep sheep, I’m a baby don’t bite me

-No you absolutely canNOT name my theme “Icy London Icy France”

-What is a serial killer but a humble door-to-door death salesman?

-“Deep-fried for your pleasure” “Only the finest of dildas for our resident slut~”

-Take me down to the paradise city where the cows are green and the grass has tiddy

-“An all nutter” you mean a bukkake

-They gonna make us eat at home like some dirty commoner???

-What was that one Disney movie? Humpback of Notre Dame?

-There is no Iceland, only California 2, Electric Boogaloo

-What if the Earth wasn’t actually rotating, it’s all just water currents pushing the continents at a steady pace

-“Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s gasoline”“what the fuck”

-What am I, a BDSM version of a Tickle Me Elmo?

-Fanmade STDs

-Naraku, or as I like to call him; Prime Minister of Sluttington

-Take my gratitude and shove it up your ass

-The inside doctor listens to your insides, the outside doctor listens to your outsides because he forgot to use anesthetics

-Like and subscribe to die instantly

-Have you accepted Beefus as your lord and savior

-Go eat one(1) entire lettuce you fuck.

-up the shut slut

-Where there’s a will, there’s a gay

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN POODLES AREN’T A TYPE OF SHEEPDOG?? THEY’RE THE SHEEPIEST LOOKING MOTHERFUCKERS OF THE DOG WORLD

-I don't know if I wanna do the smashing or the mowing. Either way, your ass is grass

-Treat him gently, he’s just a meatball

-I refuse to believe I know big words

[deltaengineering]

Summer Anime 2018 Part 1: Nurupo

I feel bad for calling last season weak now, since that turned out okay, what with Megalobox, Hinamatsuri and Rokuhoudou (the best show you didn’t watch). Maybe this is a lesson to not be so negative, but all the positivity in the world can’t make this season look good. To balance it out, I’ll be bringing along some hot opinions from people getting paid to see the bright side this time.

P.S. Part 2 is here.

Island

What: A very Frontwing version of When They Cry, apparently. Awesome McCooldude wakes up on an island full of pliant girls and/or dark secrets.

✅  looks alright

❌ story is tryhard mystery nonsense based on convenient amnesia, very unlikely to deliver

❌❌ an absolutely terrible cast of generic VN characters, enjoy your common route hijinks with them

❌❌ Frontwing being Frontwing, please see picture.

ANN sez: “This episode accomplishes the two things that it absolutely must for the series to have a chance of succeeding: it makes the main trio of girls endearing enough and layers on some intriguing mysteries.”

Hanebad!

What: Some girls take badminton very seriously. Somewhere between genocide and extinction level event seriously.

✅  well animated and directed

✅  there appears to be more to the characters than nothing at all, so the overbearing presence of the drama llama might actually pay off

❌ has a tendency to wallow in ostentatious KyoAni-style presentational kitsch

❌ speaking of which, making the cast of Euphonium look like a bunch of carefree slackers by comparison is not a good thing

ANN sez: “From the lush colors of their school's flowers to the alienating saturation and long shots of their gym hallways, every mood HANEBADO strives for is captured perfectly through its visual storytelling, and solidified through fundamentally sturdy dialogue and plotting.”

Senjuushi

What: Touken Ranbu with firearms.

❌ This is a cute boys doing cute things anime set against a backdrop of global thermonuclear war and combining the ultra seriousness of ufotable TR with the slice of life tone of Doga Kobo TR makes for a very, let’s say, “uneven” experience. 

❌  Unsurprisingly, it has the production values of neither of the above and looks like crap instead.

❌❌ The localized title is “The Thousand Musketeers” and given the reckless pace in which it introduces pointless characters, it might actually hit that number in 12 episodes.

❌❌ Mobile game character designs must be stopped, for fuck’s sake

ANN sez: “The story itself has some promise, especially if you're a fan of antique guns.“

Shichisei no Subaru

What: VRMMO light novel garbage about MMO newtypes.

❌ High tier light novel tropes like “u die in the game u die 4 real”, grade schooler magical girlfriends and demigod abilities

❌ Yes, the characters start as grade schoolers and then there’s a timeskip where they become high schoolers. They don’t change at all, which is either cutting commentary on arrested development or an indication of how good this show’s writing is.

❌ Ideas like permadeath in an MMO and giving good players a stake in the game company are hilariously stupid even by this genre’s standards.

❌ You’ve seen this exact cast of characters before, likely in better shows.

❌❌ There’s really no single egregiously bad aspect, but the stank of mediocrity is so overwhelming as to deserve a double minus all of its own.

ANN sez: “This episode banks heavily on the appeal of its mysteries, but those mysteries actually are pretty appealing, and I ultimately respect this episode's choice to introduce so much of its world and characters before getting to the real conceit.”

Banana Fish

What: A well regarded classic manga about New York’s seedy gang underbelly of drugs and violence. And BL.

✅ ✅   Looks good. Like actually, legitimately good. Animation, character design, directing, this show is quality.

❌ Updating the setting to contemporary times seems like a not so great idea since everything about this is deeply steeped in the mid-80s gang violence and drugs panic, no matter how many smartphones get used.

♎ The pacing is ultra fast. While I will admit that I’ll take that over a snoozefest (especially in a seasonal rundown), if this wants to be a legitimate high tier anime it needs to let the atmosphere breathe more. 24 episodes isn’t much for a 19-volume manga.

❌ I’ve praised MAPPA for promising first episodes before, and then I got the likes of Yuri on Ice and Virgin Soul out of it. This is not an anime original so it will be harder to fuck up, but life finds a way - especially given the need for condensing the story as noted above.

❌ Ultimately, just being a classy production with proven writing isn’t the be-all-end-all; quality aside, I still have to like what it does, and I’m not sure what amounts to a homoerotic 80s crime B-thriller is exactly in my wheelhouse.

✅ What else are you gonna watch this season?

ANN sez: “The one negative I can foresee is that one character is portrayed as a fairly stereotypical gay sexual predator, and this story pitches itself consistently as a seedier exploration of its boys' love subject matter, so it's reasonable to expect these kinds of details going forward.”

Yume Oukoku to Nemureru 100-nin no Ouji-sama

What: Girls get their wish-fulfilment isekai nonsense too, it’s just a pretty pointless definition when you can just say “basic otome harem” instead. But sure, nondescript girl wakes up in fantasy dream universe where she has a magical trait that makes a large number of princes desire her. Call it what you like.

♎ Successfully avoids the most obnoxious otome harem and isekai tropes, but that just makes it even more bland

❌ lots of exposition about an universe that is hardly complicated and transparently an excuse anyway

❌ Main character is agreeable but exceptionally boring

❌ The princes are all generically princely and very little else

❌❌ combine that with sluggish pacing and this might be the most boring show so far, which is not an easy feat

ANN sez: “There were also some neat details here and there that I particularly appreciated, like the fact that our heroine is actually a working adult, as well as the idea that rather than being “trapped in a new world” she's in truth been returned to her home.”

Back Street Girls

What: A trio of yakuza thugs get a forced sex change because their boss wants to be an idol producer. It’s funny, laugh.

❌ This is not the warm, fuzzy trans acceptance anime you’ve been looking for, to put it mildly. I am not easily offended, but it would have to be pretty darn good to outrun this premise. Yeah, about that...

❌❌ runs its one joke (idols are not supposed to be thugs, like, at all!) into the ground before it exceeds a 3-minute short runtime; is actually 24 minutes long anyway. Hope you really like that joke.

❌❌ the execution of said joke is the pits of anime comedy, nothing but reaction faces and shouting

❌❌ production values are basically non-existent, at most you can say that they took the time to color in those manga panels

❌ learning that Chiaki Kon is directing this pile is just sad, put THAT in your auteur pipe and smoke it.

ANN sez: Nothing, since western licensors mysteriously chose to skip this one. Really a shame because I was looking forward to the outrage.

Isekai Maou to Shoukan Shoujo no Dorei Majutsu

What: It has “Isekai” and “Maou” in the title so what do you fucking think. What it doesn’t tell you is that it’s also about an MMO, for the full LN shitter nuclear triad.

❌❌ It’s about a loser otaku who gets trapped in his MMO wherein he has the mostest hax, complete with complementary slave pettan catgirl and slave oppai elf

❌❌ This is meant to be funny because he’s too much of a dweeb to put his penis where his mouth is.

❌ Technically better executed than Death March or Isekai Smartphone, so it gets one single minus for effort.

ANN sez: “The idea that Takuma is so insecure about talking to other people that he can only comfortably speak in the voice of his demon lord character is ingenious in a dramatic sense and endearing in a personal one, while Takuma's clear understanding of his personal failings makes him far more sympathetic than the genre's usual snarky protagonists.”

Satsuriku no Tenshi

What: Early teen girl checks herself into Silent Hill General Hospital for grief counselling.

✅  Atmosphere works reasonably well; it’s creepy where it needs to be, which is everywhere and all the time.

❌ The girl is a nonfactor blob and the tough guy she gets paired up with is an annoying chuuni edgelord (it is called 𝔄𝔫𝔤𝔢𝔩𝔰 𝔬𝔣 𝔇𝔢𝔞𝔱𝔥 after all), which is not promising for the long run

❌ So obviously based on a run-of-the-mill spoopy RPGmaker freeware game you can practically see the floor tiles.

❌❌ 24 solid minutes of Getting Cornered By A Rape Metaphor quickly goes from unsettling to incredibly tedious.

❌❌ There’s really nowhere for this to go, given how unoriginal everything is; at best it’s going to be “it was all a dream”, at worst “everyone was dead all along, please feel sad now”.

ANN sez: “The design of the facility is one of those fanciful every-level-is-a-different-setting worlds, but the artistic effort strongly pushes the creepiness factor with a design aesthetic that suggests age, decay, and neglect.“

Harukana Receive

What: Girls play beach volleyball in scenic Okinawa, some light sports drama seems to be on the horizon.

✅  Looks just good enough

✅  Girls are just cute and likeable enough

❌ the sports aspect is weak; maybe I’m just spoiled on Emiya-san’s incredible beach volleyball scene right now, but even when not compared to a top tier studio ostentatiously flaunting the budget of their fucking cooking short the match here isn’t very compelling.

♎ where Hanebad has a bad case of the cereals, this may have the opposite problem of being too cotton candy to be worth it

✅  “good enough” is not a ringing endorsement, but counts for something when being just okay will net you a third or possibly second place of the season.

ANN sez: “This is, of course, all just conjecture right now. ”

Chio-chan no Tsuugakuro

What: We took Nichijou and replaced the surrealism with video game references and the production values with donkey dung. Let’s see if delta notices!

❌❌ Production values are not optional when you want to be Nichijou; it being astoundingly over the top and imbued with impeccable timing is a (or even the) main part of Nichijou’s appeal. Without them you’re left with basic reactionface manzai over awkward situations, the king of comedy.

❌❌ Suffice it to say, this show is 100% trying to be funny, while also 100% not succeeding at being funny.

❌Asscreed is a more original tentpole to rotate your first episode around than the usual Dragon Quest, but not by much.

♎ neurotic nerd main character that is little more than a bundle of social anxieties will be #relatable to anime professionals, observe:

ANN sez: “Chio's overthinking in this situation is both hilarious and painfully true-to-life, with her furious strategizing coming across as both absurd and very familiar to anyone who's not comfortable in conversation.”

Planet With

Wat: Appears to be a tokusatsu/crypto-mecha show aimed at the younger set, with the gimmick being that our protagonist is (initially?) on the side of the villains(?).

✅  Pretty wacky, actually. It definitely doesn’t neatly fit in your square notions of what an anime is, man (unless you’ve watched FLCL).

❌ It seems very uncertain whether the wackiness is in service of anything. It might be To Be Heroine, or it might just be Heybot with fewer fart jokes.

♎ Furthermore, it wants to be intriguing and sort of is, but merely being intriguing is not that hard - you just make no sense and hope for the best. This has the not making sense part down, do you feel lucky?

❌ tries to build up characters by immediately going for the sad flashbacks, which I never like, especially if the rest of the show is eIDLIVE-level nonsense.

❌ Looks mostly fiiiiiine, but is also full of subpar CG

ANN sez: “So if the heroes are fighting against someone who just wants peace, then what does that make them? And more importantly, if they find out that the bears aren't evil, will they stop?”

Hataraku Saibou

What: A cutesy educational comedy about the workings of a human body.

✅  Well made, characters are cute, topic is interesting.

❌ Educational aspect can get in the way; I’m not suddenly giving heavy exposition a pass just because it’s trying to teach me something, especially if it’s things I basically already know.

♎ Will have to show if it can keep coming up with good scenarios. The lung infection in episode 1 was alright and so will probably be the skin cut in the preview, but beyond that I’m not sure what’s left for red and white blood cells to do. I’m not expecting a show with this tone to tackle things like retroviruses, if you know what I mean.

♎ An actual storyline seems like too much to expect, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing but not a positive either.

✅  Doesn’t rock my socks off but is an easily watchable show with a fine idea and high production values, which again is hard to say no to right now.

ANN sez: “But since it culminates in one of my favorite scenes from the manga, visualizing sneezing as shooting a torpedo out your nose, I can forgive the random gendering of cells.”

Ongaku Shoujo

What: DEEN are getting in on the idol mobile game anime biz too.

✅  The main character’s gimmick is that apart from being A Honk, she can’t sing for shit; this is moderately funny.

❌ It might have counted for more if that hadn’t come out seconds before the episode ended. Even if it isn’t a momentous twist, it was more of a point of interest than the incredibly bland leadup to it had.

❌  Yeah, “Ongaku Shoujo” is an entirely indicative name of how generic this show is: Music + girls, indeed. I assume “Idols” was taken.

❌ I’m still not sure what the ideal cast size of a show like this is, but 12 idols is Idolmaster turf and as such too many. They have personalities? I think?

❌ a very small handful of cuts aside, woeful production quality; I know picking on DEEN is 2ez but this is not their finest work. Animation snobs can feel proud that there’s no CG dancing here, for the rest of us it’s an object lesson on why CG is the lesser of two evils.

✅  Tumbling SR cards in the ED (which is probably actually the OP) made me laugh; this show can’t even afford URs.

❌❌ Overall, just another idol show. Large cast plus presence of a P-san marks it as Im@s-type – but if you're in the market for an Idolmaster clone with bad looks, I would recommend Wake Up Girls instead because that’s at least pretty real at points.

ANN sez: They’re out for the weekend, ask again later. I suspect it’s nothing funny.

[higgins5]

Tag game

Oof, this is so so late, but I am doing it! And thank you to the lovely @foxsoulcourt for tagging me!

LAST

drink: Water, we are being healthy children here 

phone call: My District Manager at work to discuss my transfer

text message: One of my best friends about his terrible life choices (jk but really binge watching a show for 14 hours straight? Boy get to sleep!)

song you listened to: I’m Over You by Bryan James (it may or may not have been on loop for a while)

time you cried: Last Thursday 

EVER

dated someone twice: Haha, yep. Didn’t work out, but we’re still friends

kissed someone and regretted it: Not yet!

been cheated on: Unfortunately

lost someone special: I think we all have, but such is life

gotten drunk and thrown up: Oh god no

fave colors? Sea green, storm gray, oh I can’t believe i almost forgot! Really any deep blue or purple, like how the night sky gets just before it’s almost black

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE I?

made new friends: Multiple, and i am so greatly for all of the lovely people who have graced my life

fallen out of love: Not so much people. But things I believed I loved turned a little false, yes

laughed until you cried: Gosh, all the time. It’s awful, I call it my seal laugh because I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe and i’m just doubled over hitting a table or my leg to express my joy because that’s all I can do

found out someone was talking about you: Just two weeks ago! And honestly I hate that. Like if you’re gonna talk bad about me just do it to my face. I’ll find out one way or another, might as well be from you

met someone who changed you: Some good people, some not so good people. But I believe it was all for a reason

found out who your friends are: Yes

kissed someone on your Facebook friends list: Hmm... Well, I do not actually have a Facebook so I guess that would be a no

GENERAL

how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I guess I can clarify about FB here. My parents were always freaked out about the internet so never let me get one, and being a good child I never did- plus I was just not interested, so I just... never got around to it in adulthood. AND like whenever I needed to talk to a friend through FB I just used my parents page cause that was their solution, so there was no real need. But like, from the friends I had on my mom’s page yes, I know all of them irl

do you have any pets: SEVERAL AND I LOVE ALL OF MY FURRY CHILDREN! I have an 11yo poodle/terrier mix (mom was a poodle, dad was the terrier next door. Truly a scandal) named Bear and i love my grumpy old man to death; a 2yo boxer/husky mix we rescued that was originally supposed to be a lab which was a total lie named Nutmeg, but it’s okay I love my babe even if i can take her on a 3mi run and she’s still ready to run 3 more; an 8yo wonderfully affectionate and beautiful tabby cat named Willow; a 6 year old (oh my god, she’s 6, it feels like yesterday she was a satellite dish in a collar that meowed) purring machine tabby cat named Sage; and two beautiful girls. Lagertha and Gwenievere are two very playful and loving one year old dumbo eared rats

do you want to change your name: Eh, not really. I’ve had it for this long, might as well keep it

what did you do for your last birthday: Oh that was so fun. I went to the Melting pot (this fancy fondue place, so good) With a couple of friends and had a really great time, even though someone got me crayons as a gag gift (I.... hate, crayons with a PASSION, but she’s known me for like 10 years so of course I accepted.... hesitantly)

what time did you wake up today: Like 7:30? but i didn’t actually leave my bed until 9ish because don’t be fooled, I am not a morning person. I just run because I’m an idiot

what were you doing last night at midnight: Sleeping

what is something you can’t wait for: Figure out where life is taking me and then be a bomb ass bitch at it

what are you listening to right now: X&Y by Coldplay

have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I have, and he is a lovely person. Go talk to a Tom everybody, nice people

something that gets on your nerves: Horrible people. Like just those people that are horrible for no absolute reason. Like grow up, get a life, why do you have to make other people just because you’re unhappy. there are many people you could see for help and I have a number you can call if you need a recommendation 

most visited website: Probably a tie between Tumblr, Youtube, and Spotify

hair color: Well, naturally I am blonde but rn it’s a reddish auburn color (but hey, people ask me all the time if it’s my natural color so who knows maybe i was destined for this shade)

long or short hair: ish? It’s growing from a pixie (that I might go back to soon) so its like... not quite shoulder length yet but give it another month and we might be there

what do you like about yourself: You know what, i’m gonna give myself some love and say everything. Lol, but as a serious answer probably my personality/nature. I have a very big heart but am also incredibly sarcastic so it is a delicate balance 

want any piercings: SO many. I’m saving up to get my nose done soon (nostril) and later I’ll get my daith, helix, third piercing in my lobe, tragus, and maybe rook

blood type: Some kinda O? Honestly for someone who donates blood as much as I do, I should really know (but important blood donation note, if you wish to make sure not to do it too frequently! Healthy people = healthy blood = healthy donation receivers!)

nicknames: Gosh, too many to type. Apparently I’m just nick namey. But uhhh, the most common: Ash, Ashbash, Higgins, Higgy, Higgs, Figgins, Chief 

relationship status: Single

zodiac sign: I’m one of the twin fish babes, Pisces all the way

pronouns: She/Her

fave tv show: Don’t watch as much tv as I used to but Supernatural is always a good go to (recently I’ve been watching a lot of HGTv and doctor Phil and Hallmark with my mom though, if that’s anything)

tattoos: None (yet)

right or left handed: right handed, I’m basically useless with my left (unless an instrument is involved)

ever had surgery: Nope, and hopefully we keep that trend goin!

piercings: two ear piercings 

sports: Uh... in High School I was pretty active and track and I was a competitive shooter (air rifles- but I’m from Texas so). Nothing in college at the moment, I might try out for the track team just cause i miss bein a part of stuff

vacation: I am broke, I can only dream (but I do really wanna travel, so gotta save up!)

trainers: my totally stylish suede brown vans are my go to, but Adidas for running

eating: Currently? Nothing, but I did have some steamed broccoli and carrots&rice, and grilled chicken for dinner

drinking: Orange Juice

I’m about to watch: Absolutely nothing

waiting for: Didn’t I already answer this? it’s so much pressure. Uh... change?

want: To be successful in whatever I 

get married: Eventually

career: Haven’t gotten there yet, but everyday is one step closer

hugs or kisses: Depends on who and when

lips or eyes: Eyes. First thing I notice

shorter or taller: At 5′3 I don’t think I can even pretend to say i’m tall

older or younger: I probably fall more on the younger spectrum

nice arms or stomach: Yes

hookup or relationships: I am a committed relationship kinda person all the way. Never really understood the whole hookup thing but to each their own

troublemaker or hesitant: A hesitant troublemaker is probably more me. I say I try to stay out of trouble, but it just kinda finds me

HAVE I EVER?

kissed a stranger: No

drunk hard liquor: Yes

lost glasses: Ugh, all the time, worst is when I lose my contacts AND glasses

turned someone down: Yes

sex on the first date: Not my style

broken someone’s heart: Yes

had your heart broken: In love and life

been arrested: Nope, and i’d like to keep it that way!

cried when someone died: Yes

fallen for a friend: Yes

DO I BELIEVE IN?

yourself: Well someone has to, so might as well be me!

miracles: I do. And if they aren’t true, at least the belief of their existence helps make their outcome possible

love at first sight: In some fairytale world maybe, but for me, nah

kiss on the first date: Possibly

angels: Yes. Of what way and form I think that’s for you to decide

OTHER

best friend’s name: I have a couple because there is too much life to only need one person in it! Lexi+Brittany+Mauricio+Imaya from all the way back to middle school and Ronan (a recent addition)

And even if we don’t talk every day of our lives I know they’ll always be there for me when I need them. Good or bad. And they know I would do the same. That’s all that really matters in the end. They’re my little chosen family

(oh that got a bit sappy, okay moving on)

eye color: Light blue? Blue? I dunno, people say it’s pretty so I go with it

fave movie: Don’t really have one...

favorite actor: Yeah... same with movies, don’t have one of those either

extrovert or introvert: I like to call myself an introverted extrovert

favorite flower: white peonies 

favorite hello kitty character? I wasn’t aware there were characters aside from hello kitty....

oof this is a long post, but very fun to do! Hopefully y’all haven’t done this yet but if so well I’m gonna tag you anyways @i-h8-u-no-u-dont @pansexualpandion @rvmengf @egglorru @it-has-the-gay-fanfiction and really @ anyone who wants to do this! I’d love to see your versions!!

[sorcierarchy]

hi so i have a question !! do you know of any spells on protecting a relationship from external forces and negative energies ? if not fo you have any suggestions on what to use or do to create one ? thank u sm !!

I don’t normally answer spell requests, but I figured this might be a good opportunity to show how you can use a pre-made spell and deconstruct it if you need to adapt anything or make substitutions. So this post is about:

Deconstructing spells and making well-informed substitutions (and a love spell I guess)

The basic steps I’ll be walking you through are: reading through the spell as it appears in the book or online, identifying the purpose for each item or action, finding equivalent or more powerful items or actions as needed, performing the spell and knowing whether or not it worked. 

If you just want the fish then I guess you can read the first part and go home, but I’m giving you the “learn to fish” option (better deal, imo). 

(This spell is mine btw, so please don’t repost it anywhere. This also means it’s based on French Canadian folk magic, which might differ from your personal practice.)

The intent of this spell is: “These individuals are happy together and prosper, and are protected from hindering forces/energies.”

The spell:

- Two apples- One knife- One pack dry yeast (they’re usually about 7g)- 1.5 tablespoons of white sugar- 1.25 (one and a quarter) cups of warm water- 0.5 tablespoons (half) or 1.5 (one and a half) teaspoons- 1 tablespoon of oil- 3 to 3.5 (three and a half) cups of flour - enough twine or string to wrap around the apple, 100% cotton NOT synthetic (butcher’s twine for example)- Baking tray or bread mold- Oven

1. Before you start any kind of ritual, you want to cut both apples in half top down (vertical through the core). Don’t worry about perfection, it doesn’t matter, but you need to have this step done before you cast any kind of circle if that’s something you do. 2. If you have any kind of “pre-spell” activities such as casting a circle or cleansing your space, go ahead and do that. 3. Bring one half from each apple into the ritual space (”ritual space” as in wherever you do your thing, does not have to be an altar or anything of that nature… I do mine wherever is practical, in this case the kitchen counter) as well as the twine. Put the two halves together, wrap the twine around them three times and tie a knot. If you like to say something during your spells such as a mantra or a sentence setting your intent, to this while wrapping the apple and tying the knot. If short, repeat it three times. French Canadian folk magic often has short rhymes repeated during spells.4. You’re gonna bake some bread. You can use a different recipe than the one linked, and change the list of ingredients accordingly. When kneading, focus on your intent and the two people the spell is involving. There will be long pauses while you let the dough rise: what you do during that time doesn’t matter for the spell. The second time you let the dough rise, you need to put the apple into the center of the dough FIRST (so it is enclosed completely) and let the bread rise around it. Don’t worry if the bread rises funny or caves in the middle.5. Bake the bread with the apple in the center. Ideally you should use a bread mold, but you can just shape it roughly round and put it on a baking tray if you don’t have one. 6. Score a cross shape into the bread using your knife (straight sharp blades work best).7. Once the bread has baked and cooled, each party the apple halves are representing must eat a piece of the bread. Depending on the environment you’re in and the apple you used, you’ll have varying levels of edible bread. If your loaf looks roughly normal, you should be able to each eat from one extremity. The closer you get to the apple, the more chances there are that it’s gooey, undercooked, or mushy from the juices. It’s not bad for you, just kinda gross tasting. Feel free to eat it if you want. The more weird your bread looks, the more your center is sketchy. Wonky bread isn’t a bad omen and won’t affect your spell, it’s just physics and stuff. 8. Enjoy your magically enhanced relationship, and don’t forget that no amount of magic can help if there are too many mundane issues left unresolved. 

The rest of this is below the cut because this is already long af. The counter-spell is also under the cut, all the way at the bottom. Please forgive typos, I’m a very tired gay. 

Link to the upcoming giveaway, on the offhand chance you like free stuff.

Interlude:

Before you deconstruct a spell, it’s important that you determine whether or not the spell should be deconstructed. If you’re using a random spell you don’t know the source of, or something written by someone on the internet (like this one), you can usually make a significant number of (logical) changes and substitutions. 

However, in the case of spells that have centuries of history, such as spells found in old arcane texts and grimoires, the more you change the more likely you are to get an unpredictable result. Spells that have been passed down survive because they work as written, and every change will decrease it’s likelihood of success. Ideally, you want as many checks in the “keeping as is” column as possible, and very few checks in the “changes” column. Sometimes there are things you just have to modify because life has changed since the 1700s, and that’s fine, just make sure you’re changing only when necessary and using sensible substitutions. More importantly, be prepared to deal with any consequences that may arise. 

Deconstruction:

Here I’m going to give you the purpose and meaning behind each element of the spell. The next section will show you how to come up with substitutions.

• Apple: In French Canadian folk magic, it’s a symbol of love and unity. Each full apple represents the person as a whole, and we put the two halves together so they can come together. You want to avoid using only one halved apple, as that implies that each person is incomplete until they are paired with the other half, which can create codependency or abusive relationships. One tradition is to use a half with a stem to represent the male in the relationship, and a half without the stem to represent the female. This is obviously heteronormative and might not work for your situation, so in the substitutions section I’ll list some other options. You can also just ignore the stem situation completely, and just determine in your mind which is which. 

• Twine or string: The twine is representative of the relationship itself, keeping the two halves together. It’s all the good things in the relationship, such as communication, honesty, common traits, etc. We wrap the twine around the apple three times because the number 3 in French Canadian folk magic is used to “strengthen” a spell or intent. 

• Flour: Flour represents prosperity in the home. It does not represent excess. It is having enough to eat, to stay warm, to live happily and comfortably. The type of flour doesn’t matter.

• Other ingredients: Everything else is used as part of the bread making process, and has no significant meaning otherwise. 

• The joining of the apples step is explained pretty well already in the apples info, so I’m going to move on to the bread baking. Kneading the dough and preparing the bread are all symbolic of the time and work it takes to maintain a good relationship with someone, and are important steps if you’re able to do them. During kneading, you should be focusing on your intent for the spell. 

• Placing the apple in the center of the bread is to bind the symbol of the couple (the apple) with the symbol of prosperity and happiness (the bread). The water from both will mix, and water is like the “and” in your spell if it were a sentence. You’re saying “These individuals are happy together AND prosper”. 

• Scoring the bread with the cross is your symbol of protection from outside forces. Since French Canadian folk magic is heavily entwined with catholicism, the cross is a protective symbol. 

• Eating the bread can be considered both the activating of the spell, as well as the closing element. It is enforcing the properties as it is ingested by the people involved, and is symbolic that they have accepted the intent of the sorcier or witch. 

Substitutions: 

I obviously can’t possibly cover every single option here, but I’m going to do my best to give you a lot of suggestions that should give you a pretty good idea of what kind of changes you can make and how to adapt the spell to your abilities, correspondences, and what you have available to you. 

• The apples and twine can be substituted for anything else that would represent the individuals and a loving relationship. If your local folk magic has a symbol that is different from apples, you can absolutely use that instead. Likewise if you have a personal correspondence that is stronger to you, or tag locks for the individuals in question (just remember it’s going in bread, so hair might not be your best option here). 

• The stem situation, as I mentioned in the deconstruction section, is not a mandatory part of the spell. Nonetheless, I wanted to provide some alternate options. You can of course you two stemmed apples, two unstemmed apples, you can cut the apple into more than two pieces (so long as you can roughly fit them together, and you would use a corresponding number of apples), etc. Keep in mind that the stems don’t need to represent anything at all, and they can be unrelated to gender (for example, stem representing the taller person and no stem being the shorter one). You can make it whatever you want. If you would like the stems to represent gender, non-binary genders can be a bent stem, a half stem, an additional stem (just stick it in, don’t put glue on it please), whatever you want. Again, you can completely disregard the stems if it causes any kind of anxiety for you or if you’re like me and massively despise the binary implications of it. 

• If you can’t find cotton twine or don’t have cotton string, you can use anything else that would tie the two halves together. The important thing to keep in mind here is that it is going inside the bread, so you definitely don’t want to use synthetic fibers as they could melt in the oven and go into the bread (don’t eat that). The important thing is that there be something going around the apple holding the halves together. You could even use a long strip of dough from what you’ve kneaded. Another important thing is that you don’t do something that will go through the apples to keep them together, such as using toothpicks, as this has a different meaning and will change the intent of the spell. 

• The bread baking is a step that might be problematic for individuals who are not open about their practice, or who are physically incapable of making the bread because of the kneading, or multiple other reasons. If the issue is the kneading, you can use this no knead recipe instead.  If you’re dealing with any other issue for the bread step, you just need to find a substitute that would represent the same thing for you or for your culture. Some examples: using rice in place of bread, writing your intent to fill up an entire page of paper (or typing it and printing it out) and wrapping it around the apple, burying the apple outside, etc. If visualization is your only option, go for it. 

• Eating the bread is your activation step. If someone is allergic to gluten or has a dietary restriction, you can change the type of flour you use accordingly without changing the intent of the spell. If you didn’t bake bread, any alternative that feels to you like the intent of “the individuals involved accept the intent of this spell” will work. It can be as simple as them both holding the apple and reciting a line if you wrote one, or simply reciting the intent of the spell, etc. This step is going to be dependent on what you’ve already changed if anything. Ultimately, there should be an overall impression of completion afterwards. 

Counter-spell: 

You should always, always have a way to undo any spell that you’ve performed. I personally keep the twine somewhere safe, and will cut the twine in half or burn it if I need to reverse the spell. Alternative options would be to have a set of words as your counter-spell, or some other symbolic means of reversing the spell. Be careful that this information is only available to those involved with the spell, so no one wishing ill on the relationship can do any damage.

[surveysonfleek]

638.

F A M I L Y . You have at least one sister You are a multiple (twin/triplet) You have at least one brother A family member is currently serving overseas for your country Family is everything to you You’re close with your momma Your father left you when you were younger than 5  Your family are the only people you trust 100% You’re related to someone in a professional sport You want to marry someone who is close to his family You have at least one cat You have at least one dog You have Irish heritage You have family who lives more than 5 hours away

L O V E . You believe in one time marriage You love to cuddle You prefer love over money You prefer to stay at home and watch movies than going out You love hugging guys around the neck But hate when they pick you up You prefer your guys at least 5 inches taller than you You like to date a little bit older You have been in love before You fell in love with the person you least expected to You have used someone before You broke someone’s heart before and regretted it You have a crush on multiple people right now You have no clue what your crush(es) think of you You have hugged your crush(es) You want to kiss your crush(es) You want to tell your crush(es) how you feel but are too socially awkward You usually go for athletes

F R I E N D S . You’ve met most of your friends through groups/sports you’ve been in You’re still friends with your first love, but not close friends Your best friends are like family Your siblings are some of your best friends One of your best friend’s moms and your mom were pregnant together You have two best friends You have an apartment/condo/hotel with some friends Your older sister is the person you go to for advice You have gay/bisexual/bicurious friends In school, you are/were well known and well liked You would be/would have been considered part of the *populars*

A B O U T Y O U . You listen to country music You listen to rap music You listen to 80s and 90s music You like the band Bon Jovi You like the band Poison You have your nails painted most of the time You have been to Panama You have been to almost every U.S. state Traveling is something you love You love flying But you also love driving Your favorite flower is daisies You want children someday You like going to Bath and Body Works You’re not really a fan of shopping But you love getting new clothes You’re a true country girl Though you live in the city You used to live in the country The country is way better than the city You’re part of your county 4H School really isn’t that bad in your opinion But you’re glad to be a senior and finally see the end of school You have a lot of good memories from elementary school You enjoy 4 wheeling You prefer to go mudding on a 4 wheeler than in a truck You enjoy fishing You like to go hunting But you don’t hunt rabbits You were born in the United States You’re almost/are 18 or older You have a winter birthday It sucks You wish your birthday was in June or July You’re a cheerleader You’re a softball player You’re a soccer player There’s a lot of guys who want you High school boys are overrated You hate war But you know it’s a necessity You’re proud of your siblings You’re proud of who you’ve become You find yourself attractive But you don’t feel you’re arrogant/vain/cocky You’ve not had your first kiss Not because no guy has wanted to kiss you, but because you’re picky (Both) But you still feel really lame that you haven’t You are saving yourself for marriage You don’t want an extravagant wedding You can’t wait until the future, even though you live for the present But you also wish you could go back in time You like bright neon colours Green is your favourite colour You want to be a photographer/teacher/radio dj for a living You have driven cross country on your own You have had a supernatural experience You constantly eat but gain no weight You’re insecure about some part of your body Your first car was actually a new car/truck/vehicle You have brown hair naturally Your hair isn’t as long as you’d like for it to be You have an unnatural fear of heights, clowns or natural disasters You’re one of those people who don’t watch much television Your hair desperately needs redone You’re shit at algebra and science You’re very stubborn and hate being told to do things You swear you dream in color and sound If your mom says no, you get things from a sibling You shop Hollister You shop American Eagle You shop Abercrombie and Fitch Sirens are a worse sound than nails on a chalkboard Your hands are usually corpse cold You have quit drinking or smoking You have been sexually assaulted by someone in your family You want to get a tattoo(s) You want your hips pierced You want your dimples pierced You have dimples You have your belly button pierced You get super tan during the summer Although you’re not big into politics, you still think Obama sucks Everyone in your family voted AGAINST Obama You got suspended for fighting in school You fought a sibling at school and got suspended You and a sibling fought other people and both got suspended You have nearly gotten expelled from school Your principal has gotten you out of suspension or expulsion from school You have lost a friend or family member to suicide You’re not scared to flirt, you’re just not good at it You have attempted suicide You have done self harm You are better now Someone is in prison because of something they’ve done to you You have had your butt grabbed, but weren’t offended You own/want to own a North Face jacket You have played Sega You have played Nintendo 64 You want a Windows phone You want to be able to have the app, FaceTime You have a Nintendo Wii You have a Sega You have PS3 You have crushes on very few celebrities You refuse to run from a fight You’ve been arrested, but not for long You’re an argumentative person You’re quick to blow up on people You can’t stand those squeaky voiced girls You hate those girls who are really dumb and think it’s cute You hate those girls who have everything fake You hate those girls who are always saying, *like this…* *like that..* You aren’t really girly People’s first impression of you is that you are girly Your first job was at a car wash You love patterned leggings Cheetah print and zebra print are your favorite patterns You try your hardest to not use the lord’s name in vain The first time you got drunk was awesome You’re pretty shallow when it comes to the opposite sex You won’t date nerds You love horses You used to/do own horses You get really hot really easily and really cold really easily You’re a fantastic cook You’re a fantastic baker You sing at gigs You don’t respond to people who can’t talk to you with respect You have two middle names You have a common first name with an uncommon spelling Stitch is an adorable cartoon character Spiderman is your favorite superhero Tobey Maguire >>>>>>>>> Andrew Garfield You miss someone a lot You look older than you are You wish you were as old as people think you are

M O R E R A N D O M . You love visiting Arizona You have 25 letters in your full name You helped coach a younger cheer squad You have seen Trouble With the Curve You love animated movies You play guitar well Acoustic is a lot easier than electric guitar KFC is only good if you’re in Kentucky You have a crush on an Italian guy Your crush/bf is 6'3 You have too many injuries for your age You like baseball You look really good in red or blue Grey makes you look fatter than you’d like to look You’re really picky about clothes You’re a good reader but don’t like reading You’re close with your grandmother You do not have a fear of spiders or snakes You have been an umpire for little league baseball/softball before You would prefer it to be cold than warm when you sleep You get frustrated with stupid decisions very quickly You can’t whistle and it annoys you You’re really good at sports

[thegoddessprose]

Another survey

F A M I L Y . You have at least one sister You are a multiple (twin/triplet) You have at least one brother A family member is currently serving overseas for your country Family is everything to you You’re close with your momma

Your father left you when you were younger than 5  Your family are the only people you trust 100% You’re related to someone in a professional sport You want to marry someone who is close to his family You have at least one cat You have at least one dog You have Irish heritage You have family who lives more than 5 hours away

L O V E . You believe in one time marriage You love to cuddle You prefer love over money You prefer to stay at home and watch movies than going out You love hugging guys around the neck But hate when they pick you up You prefer your guys at least 5 inches taller than you You like to date a little bit older You have been in love before You fell in love with the person you least expected to You have used someone before You broke someone’s heart before and regretted it You have a crush on multiple people right now You have no clue what your crush(es) think of you You have hugged your crush(es) You want to kiss your crush(es) You want to tell your crush(es) how you feel but are too socially awkward You usually go for athletes

F R I E N D S . You’ve met most of your friends through groups/sports you’ve been in You’re still friends with your first love, but not close friends Your best friends are like family Your siblings are some of your best friends One of your best friend’s moms and your mom were pregnant together You have two best friends You have an apartment/condo/hotel with some friends Your older sister is the person you go to for advice You have gay/bisexual/bicurious friends or family In school, you are/were well known and well liked You would be/would have been considered part of the *populars*

A B O U T Y O U . You listen to country music You listen to rap music You listen to 80s and 90s music You like the band Bon Jovi You like the band Poison You have your nails painted most of the time You have been to Panama You have been to almost every U.S. state Traveling is something you love You love flying But you also love driving Your favorite flower is daisies You want children someday You like going to Bath and Body Works You’re not really a fan of shopping But you love getting new clothes You’re a true country girl Though you live in the city You used to live in the country The country is way better than the city You’re part of your county 4H School really isn’t that bad in your opinion But you’re glad to be a senior and finally see the end of school You have a lot of good memories from elementary school You enjoy 4 wheeling You prefer to go mudding on a 4 wheeler than in a truck You enjoy fishing You like to go hunting But you don’t hunt rabbits You were born in the United States You’re almost/are 18 or older You have a winter birthday It sucks You wish your birthday was in June or July You’re a cheerleader You’re a softball player You’re a soccer player There’s a lot of guys who want you High school boys are overrated You hate war But you know it’s a necessity You’re proud of your siblings You’re proud of who you’ve become You find yourself attractive But you don’t feel you’re arrogant/vain/cocky You’ve not had your first kiss Not because no guy has wanted to kiss you, but because you’re picky (Both) But you still feel really lame that you haven’t You are saving yourself for marriage You don’t want an extravagant wedding You can’t wait until the future, even though you live for the present But you also wish you could go back in time You like bright neon colours Green is your favourite colour You want to be a photographer/teacher/radio dj for a living You have driven cross country on your own You have had a supernatural experience (I predicted the future) You constantly eat but gain no weight You’re insecure about some part of your body Your first car was actually a new car/truck/vehicle You have brown hair naturally Your hair isn’t as long as you’d like for it to be You have an unnatural fear of heights, clowns or natural disasters You’re one of those people who don’t watch much television Your hair desperately needs redone You’re shit at algebra and science You’re very stubborn and hate being told to do things You swear you dream in color and sound If your mom says no, you get things from a sibling You shop Hollister You shop American Eagle You shop Abercrombie and Fitch Sirens are a worse sound than nails on a chalkboard Your hands are usually corpse cold You have quit drinking or smoking You have been sexually assaulted by someone in your family You want to get a tattoo(s) You want your hips pierced You want your dimples pierced You have dimples You have your belly button pierced You get super tan during the summer Although you’re not big into politics, you still think Obama sucks Everyone in your family voted AGAINST Obama You got suspended for fighting in school You fought a sibling at school and got suspended You and a sibling fought other people and both got suspended You have nearly gotten expelled from school Your principal has gotten you out of suspension or expulsion from school You have lost a friend or family member to suicide You’re not scared to flirt, you’re just not good at it You have attempted suicide You have done self harm You are better now Someone is in prison because of something they’ve done to you You have had your butt grabbed, but weren’t offended You own/want to own a North Face jacket You have played Sega You have played Nintendo 64 You want a Windows phone You want to be able to have the app, FaceTime You have a Nintendo Wii You have a Sega You have PS3 You have crushes on very few celebrities You refuse to run from a fight You’ve been arrested, but not for long You’re an argumentative person You’re quick to blow up on people You can’t stand those squeaky voiced girls You hate those girls who are really dumb and think it’s cute You hate those girls who have everything fake You hate those girls who are always saying, *like this…* *like that..* You aren’t really girly People’s first impression of you is that you are girly Your first job was at a car wash You love patterned leggings Cheetah print and zebra print are your favorite patterns You try your hardest to not use the lord’s name in vain The first time you got drunk was awesome You’re pretty shallow when it comes to the opposite sex You won’t date nerds You love horses You used to/do own horses You get really hot really easily and really cold really easily You’re a fantastic cook You’re a fantastic baker You sing at gigs You don’t respond to people who can’t talk to you with respect You have two middle names You have a common first name with an uncommon spelling Stitch is an adorable cartoon character Spiderman is your favorite superhero Tobey Maguire >>>>>>>>> Andrew Garfield You miss someone a lot You look older than you are You wish you were as old as people think you are

M O R E R A N D O M . You love visiting Arizona You have 25 letters in your full name You helped coach a younger cheer squad You have seen Trouble With the Curve You love animated movies You play guitar well Acoustic is a lot easier than electric guitar KFC is only good if you’re in Kentucky You have a crush on an Italian guy Your crush/bf is 6'3 You have too many injuries for your age You like baseball You look really good in red or blue Grey makes you look fatter than you’d like to look You’re really picky about clothes You’re a good reader but don’t like reading You’re close with your grandmother You do not have a fear of spiders or snakes You have been an umpire for little league baseball/softball before You would prefer it to be cold than warm when you sleep You get frustrated with stupid decisions very quickly You can’t whistle and it annoys you You’re really good at sports

[dustycactus]

tag game thing that i’m doing the whole thing instead of just the ones i get in asks cuz wooo

1: name: kaiden 2: age: 15 3: 3 fears: the ocean, being left alone, and uh basketballs (those r terrifying you’ve gotta admit) 4: 3 things i love: drawing, the cold weather, and pastel yellow 5: 4 turns on: people with eyes, people with a heart, people with a brain, and people who are nice (do u rly think i’m going to say NOT SAFE FOR WORK THINGS ON MY TOTALLY SAFE FOR WORK BLOG pshh what r u on about) 6: 4 turns off: rude people in general, too much sarcasm, does ~drugs~ (the illegal shit), very judgy. 7: my best friend: MY LITTLE BLUE HAIRED FUCKKKEERRR, or just my cousin lol 8: sexual orientation: pansexual with a preference for bois 9: my best first date: uh we went to go get ice cream and then went to their rooftop asdfghjk i haven’t been on many dates 10: how tall am i: 5″6 11: what do i miss: my home town and the cold weather 12: what time were i born: 2 AM 13: favorite color: yellow or blue 14: do i have a crush: nah not for now 15: favorite quote: “existence, well what does it matter. i exist on the best terms i can. the past is now part of my future, the present is well out of hand”- ian curtis (lol not the most inspiring but i love) 16: favorite place: a small cliff behind a restaurant in my hometown. 17: favorite food: kitkats, or ice cream 18: do i use sarcasm: not really, no 19: what am i listening to right now: Kool Thing by Sonic Youth 20: first thing i notice in new person: their way of speaking, or their eyes. 21: shoe size: 9 1/2 22: eye color: brown :/ 23: hair color: brown again :/ 24: favorite style of clothing: the late 70′s- early 80′s punk outfits asdfghj i wish i was cool enough to pull that off 25: ever done a prank call?: ye 27: meaning behind my url: well right now it’s pumpkinspiced-aliens and it’s because it’s halloween and i love aliens asdfghjk 28: favorite movie: donnie darko, or maybe rocky horror 29: favorite song: can’t choose :( 30: favorite band: twenty one pilots and close second would be the clash asdfghjk what a nerd amiright  31: how i feel right now: 40% empty and 60% unaware of my surroundings and thinking about how useless life is ::))) 32: someone i love: my bro 33: my current relationship status: v single 34: my relationship with my parents: i guess okay? idk  35: favourite holiday: halloween and christmas (i already bought a christmas phone case i’m fuckin prepared) 36: tattoos and piercing i have: ear piercings, no tattoos yet 37: tattoos and piercing i want: probs gages, but not that big maybe the size of pencil erasers,, also a tattoo of a flamingo because reasons. 38: the reason i joined tumblr: because i needed something to do on the weekends and reason to get out of bed 39: do i and my last ex hate each other?: no we’re friends and hang out sometimes, i just realized that they’re not the type of person i like, so eh 40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?: i fuckin wish :’( 41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted?: uh yeah 42: when did i last hold hands?: today with my idiot friend nayla jkjk ily 43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning?: like 40 minutes maybe 44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days?: :p 45: where am i right now?: at home 46: if i were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?: probs my friend caro cuz she would be there too 47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level?: depends,, if i’m angry or sad really loud, but when i’m ghosty and stuff at a normal level 48: do i live with my mom and dad?: yeah 49: am i excited for anything?: for the hiatus to be over asdfg jk but also moving out  50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to? : uh not really everything,, i don’t tell everything to anyone but yeah i guess i’ve got a few friends that i trust with some information 51: how often do i wear a fake smile?: more often than people think 52: when was the last time i hugged someone?: today  53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?: i tried to kiss my brother on the cheek and we accidentally touched lips but yee, um, i would be cheering that girl on 54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not?: i’m the most paranoid person about this stuff so no 55: what is something i disliked about today?: i had a science test and i had a panic attack at 3 AM 56: if i could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?: uh probs tyler and josh, or just my soulmate esrdgfhh jkjk 57: what do i think about most? now that i think about it, it’s either college or death 58: what’s my strangest talent?: i can hold my breath for 3.5 minutes underwater asdfg it’s not that long but it’s oky 59: do i have any strange phobias?: other than the ocean and basketballs? i don’t think so. 60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?: behind 61: what was the last lie i told?: this is gonna sound super fake and stuff but i said “i love you” asdfghjk 62: do i perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?: talking on the phone 63: do i believe in ghosts? how about aliens?: ghosts? not really. aliens? damn right i do hmu if u want the full explanation 64: do i believe in magic?: nah 65: do i believe in luck?: maybe 66: what’s the weather like right now?: it was sunny a few minutes ago and now it’s windy like crazy idk what the fuck happened 67: what was the last book i’ve read?: stephen king’s “the girl who loved tom gordon” 68: do i like the smell of gasoline? fuck yeah 69: do i have any nicknames? not really other than kitkat or kai 70: what was the worst injury i’ve ever had?: my ankle snapped in half after being pushed to the bottom of a pool asdfghj it’s a long story 71: do i spend money or save it?: i spend it way too fast help 72: can i touch my nose with a tounge?: with A tongue? probs, not with my own tho 73: is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? yes my 3ds 74: favourite animal?: can’t choose but i love lizards 75: what was i doing last night at 12am?: showering fgh 76: what do i think is Satan’s last name is?: probs something super common like Johnson or Barkley or Trump. 77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it?: chills by down with webster lolol it reminds me of home 78: how can you win my heart?: being sweet and sending me good morning and goodnight texts 79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone?: “and a great succ he was....” and whatever else my family wants to write on it lolol 80: what is my favorite word?: plump 81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr: i don’t want to annoy them by tagging them but i love so many 82: if the whole world were listening to me right now, what would i say?: i would read every single one of my angry political letters and then tell them to fuck off. 83: do i have any relatives in jail? nah 84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. they were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?: props invisibility or magic healing 85: what would be a question i’d be afraid to tell the truth on?: r u ok? 86: what is my current desktop picture?: the meme man 87: had sex?: asdfghjkljhgfdsfghjk,jhgfd no 88: bought condoms?: no but i got a bunch of them thrown at me once 89: gotten pregnant?: no 90: failed a class?: yee in like 6th grade 91: kissed a boy?: ye 92: kissed a girl?: ye 93: have i ever kissed somebody in the rain?: no but i wish 94: had job?: there are so many different things you could be talking about right now but yes i have had a working job 95: left the house without my wallet?: yeyeyey 96: bullied someone on the internet?: nope 97: had sex in public?: jcfghjghvewbdsjhwefhgv no 98: played on a sports team?: yee 99: smoked weed?: no 100: did drugs?: uh bad memories ascghj but technically yes and it sucked 101: smoked cigarettes?: ye like only a couple of timez,,, like 10,,,, i’m not addicted tho 102: drank alcohol?: ye 103: am i a vegetarian/vegan?: pesco vegetarian  104: been overweight?: nope 105: been underweight?: yep 106: been to a wedding?: yep 107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight?: yep  108: watched tv for 5 hours straight?: yep 109: been outside my home country?: bitch yes 110: gotten my heart broken?: kinda i guess 111: been to a professional sports game?: nah 112: broken a bone?: ye 113: cut myself?: purposefully, no. 114: been to prom?: well they’ve got “proms” at my school which is the entire high school including the seniors but like yeah i have 115: been in airplane?: too many times 116: fly by helicopter?: yee 117: what concerts have i been to?: so manyyy,,, tell me if u want me to say them all 118: had a crush on someone of the same sex?: i’m practically gay 119: learned another language?: i speak french and italian ~fluently~ 120: wore make up?: yes 121: lost my virginity before i was 18?: asdfghj no 122: had oral sex?: azsxdcfgvhbjbvgfhvewubcyfbkuycfuyqerliu no 123: dyed my hair?: eyeyyeyeyeeee 124: voted in a presidential election?: nope 125: rode in an ambulance?: yee 126: had a surgery?: yeee 127: met someone famous?: i met johnny cash,,, also his daugther 128: stalked someone on a social network?: celebrities yes 129: peed outside?: yee 130: been fishing?: yee 131: helped with charity?: yee 132: been rejected by a crush?: no 133: broken a mirror?: not that i remember 134: what do i want for birthday?: this year i only got 50 dollars haha i would like some clothes maybe and a ukelele 135: how many kids do i want and what will be their names?: i want 1 max 2 but idk their names yet,,, a girl i would name kayla cuz yeah 136: was I named after anyone?: nope 137: do i like my handwriting?: nope 138: what was my favourite toy as a child?: this little ballerina doll i had gotten in a mcdonalds happy meal 139: favourite tv Show?: “that 70′s show” or stranger things 140: where do i want to live when older?: toronto, montreal, or ottawa 141: play any musical instrument?: guitar, piano, and clarinet 142: one of my scars, how did I get it?: instead of using a plate to cut my sandwich in half while camping, i put a paper towel on my thigh and sliced a 1 cm cut into it lmao  143: favourite pizza toping?: pepperoni  144: am i afraid of the dark?: eh not really 145: am i afraid of heights?: not at all 146: have i ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?: i got caught by my dad trying to steal a beer for my cousin,,,  147: have i ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?: on literally every test i’ve ever taken 148: what i’m really bad at: texting, being supportive, sharing food, physics, and general emotions 149: what my greatest achievments are: probs getting 1st at a national competition for a sport which i am not going to tell you 150: the meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: that i don’t have any friends and that i should drink bleach while jumping off the CN tower :) 151: what i’d do if i won in a lottery: donate a quarter of it to charity, giving another quarter to sick family members, and the rest save for my education and my brother’s. 152: what do i like about myself: i’ve got nice eyelashes i’ve been told 153: my closest tumblr friend: idk... 154: something i fantasise about: having a nice romantic relationships

THERE DONE BJKHSDAKUJSDXKHJEKYGUYHWERUHIFR

[virgofem]

what would ur dream wedding look like (only if u want to get married, obvs)?

(oh thank you so much anon you have no idea how good of a distraction this ask is, i feel really bad right now and i desperately needed something else to focus on, thank you thank you thank you this helps so. much.)

oh my gosh i think i first dreamed about my wedding when i was like, five. i was a very lovey dovey kid so obviously i grew up to be a hopeless romantic fem duh! so yeah i definitely wanna get married and in fact me and my gf have been engaged for.... wait.... it’s gonna be six years next month wow?? i just never talk about it really because i literally forget that we aren’t married already lmao. we got engaged after two and a half years of being together and were actually underage at the time but surprisingly no one rolled their eyes at us, like at least not straight to our faces. but ANYWAY, on to the dream wedding haha. this is gonna be a long ass answer so brace yoselves.

we’ve decided on a pretty small-ish wedding really, just our closest friends and then some family, i think there’s gonna be like max 30 guests maybe. i’d really want a pretty historical venue, like there’s a lot of old houses in finland that can be rented for weddings and such. ideally we’d get officiated at my home church because it’s such an important place for me, but i’m evangelic lutherian as most finns are and my gf is orthodox, and she doesn’t want to get married in a lutherian church :’) not that the church in finland would officiate gay couples anyways (yet, it’s been talked about), so my realistic idea is that we’d get married outside of the venue, with like pretty floral arches on a warm late summer day.

my gf would be waiting at the makeshift altar, i’ve decided that i want to walk down the isle while zelda’s lullaby (ocarina of time version) is played by a violin and flute. i think i want a white dress (or a very light pink or champagne coloured), not too puffy but definitely long and sparkly and very feminine, maybe a mermaid hem and delicate lace. i do wanna write vows, it’s not very common in finland to write your own vows but i think i wanna do that. i’ll probably cry so much that no one hears what i’m saying.....

anyway! the wedding party itself i think is gonna be pretty relaxed, we want lots of flowers and so. god. damn. much. food. most of the menu is gonna be vegan or vegetarian, but we’ll have reindeer and fish for the guests since those are important to my gf bc she’s sámi. i want a biiiiig sweet buffet after the food, like cheesecakes and pastries and chocolate and everything we like, we’re big food enthusiasts lol. i have lots of ideas for the song for our first dance, i’m not sure yet if we’re gonna have a band playing and a dj later or just a dj, i know some great musicians so we’ll see about that. after all the more formal stuff is done and dusted it’s gonna be fucking party time for sure, there’s gonna be lots of alcohol involved. we love to dance and music is really important to us, and the wedding playlist is definitely gonna have some nostalgic songs from when we were just two crushing teens too.

i realized i just described the wedding i think we’re eventually gonna have, i don’t know if you were waiting for like, an extravagant princess wedding or something but honestly this is my dream wedding actually. i’m sure of it too since i have literally been thinking about our wedding ever since we started our relationship over eight years ago, so like, i’ve had time to think haha.

thanks again for the question